#and abt how buck must feel like the will was like. u can be ours but only in the worst case scenario only if i don't have to be part of it
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deathmydearoldfriend · 2 years ago
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@poemsbybuddie
day one: home
what makes a house a home?
it’s a question i ask for years. a question i let rot in the pit of my stomach, 
a grave i try to crawl into, 
some secret i think i can discover, if only i run far enough.
in a youth spent as a shadow, only ever being seen in shades of blood and bruises,
i try to find it in her hair. in the curve of her shoulder, where she will hold me when i cry, 
when there is no wound to bandage or bone to sling, 
just broken hearts to mend, the caverns of a kitchen table watching me every day. 
as a boy steeped in loneliness, i search for it. 
that otherwise unnameable thing. 
the mountain that postcards cannot cross. 
a person who does not get left. 
i make my own assertions. 
home cannot have legs. (a home should never walk away)
a home will never smile (i’d do anything to keep it there)
home should be easy, like it is to be left. home should not be lonely, like i’ve been all these years. home is no empty apartment, waiting for a plane that will never return, home should not be a secret, a grave that isn’t my own, home cannot be mine, 
i know this, 
like i know my blood, like i know my sweat, like i know my shame,
home cannot be mine, 
when i have always been know to tear at the seams. 
(i know, mom, i never make it easy. i told him to listen when i say: i never make it easy)
in some fever dreams, home is a grave, nestled next to him, the brother that never was, the person i could never save, the home that lived and died with my bones, with the cries i brought into this world, with the brother i tore away.
some nights, leg aching, litchenberg scars scrawled along my skin,
home is an old friend i hope will still come for me. home is a scar in my skin i wish never healed. home is the secrets i’ll keep till i’m at your door, again.
home is an early grave. some earthen, spring thing, begging for my touch, home is scraped knees for a smile, home is in hiding, home is in running, home is cold, impersonal, untouchable, home cannot exist, but then, i remind myself, neither could you.
maybe it is this:
home cannot have legs. but mine will carry you. home comes with scars, though i wish yours faded and mine stayed bruised. home will never smile, but i watch as your own comes easily and i think: 
none of what i thought was true.
home can be a rush, a reminder to swim, home can take a bullet wound and come out the other side prepared for something new,
in you i’ve found a cavern my heart has been running to, 
knees knocking, shoulders bumping, home is a magnet pulling me to you,
but still, some things stay true.
if home is an early grave then love is too. you’ve damned me to be pulled, to run, ever-constant, into the sun, straight towards you, and the wounds i’ll sustain will carry me through, 
i know, you never asked for this, for me to bleed for you,
but i’ll do it gladly: 
because i know. 
i will never be home to you.
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buckmepapi · 3 years ago
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Bunch of new agents looking at the Avenger!reader nastily (mainly out of jealousy for being with buck and being a hot ass skilled avenger) for hearing her screams and moans of pleasure last night. She then hears someone talking to each other, not knowing she’s right behind them. “She was so loud last night, I’m sure she’s just faking it so she could brag that she fucked the white wolf” says one, “I know right? I’m not sure why Bucky even likes her? And her sounds? It’s annoying, he must be tired of hearing that but fucks her cause she’s easy.”
Being the badass reader that she is, she goes “first of all, it’s Sergeant Barnes to any of you. Second of all, that’s just what happens when your lover is an insatiable super soldier. So, no he isn’t tired nor annoyed, in fact, he loves it. I’m sorry you never felt utterly loved by someone that you had to second guess ours. Lastly, I suggest you just enjoy the show from the sidelines or focus on your training, your evaluation shows you’re only good at bad mouthing”
I just thot abt this after watching some spicy vids. At first I was like god she’s so loud, but after, I realized, god, she’s being ✨railed✨ in the best way so I couldnt really blame her. Then bam. The hoe thots. So do what u want with it! Just dropping by hehe I hope ur healthy and safe 💗
Scream for me // part I
Summary: what happens when Bucky comes to defend your honour but a secret is almost revealed instead?
Word count: 6.8k (of pure porn with some plot at the end)
Pairings: feral!possessive!bucky x f!avenger!reader
(As with all my fics, reader is afab, but other than that she does not look a certain way in terms of race etc, I try to make my fics inclusive as possible and avoid certain words that are white centric, if I’ve missed anything do let me know and I’ll correct it. Much love. ❤️)
Warnings: smut smut smut smut gratuitous SMUT minors DNI 18+ ONLY. Daddy kink, breeding kink, a brief slap to the face, praise and degradation, brief glimpse of Bucky’s future wife kink, creampie, piv unprotected sex, feral!needy!possessive!bucky, dirty talk that’s so filthy I feel the need to repent, belly bulge, super soldier amounts of cum, d/s dynamics sub!reader and dom!bucky, squirting, mentions of ovulation and fertility, —angst like a lot of angst at the end, Bucky being violently protective of reader, threats of death, threats of torture, Steve, Sam, Nat and Tony make an appearance at the end. Cliffhanger ending to be continued in part 2. Straight into nsfw below the cut
A/N: Ooooh, spicey vids you say? 🥵
I love your brain! This is a great idea, I didn’t go with the direct dialogue in this, but went with the idea instead. However I decided to change it up where it’s not reader defending their relationship, but Bucky instead…for reasons. 🤫 Thank you sweet nonnie for such a lovely idea for a one shot— I have great ideas for part 2 so I hope I can further do your wonderful idea justice there as well!
In a separate unrelated story to this one shot I feel like he would go absolutely ape shit and almost kill them, then throw her over his shoulder and fuck her absolutely feral-like and possessed in the next room to the point where she’s unintentionally ten times louder than the night before and then he comes back into the room sweating and disheveled like “problem?” LMAO —
please stop bloody asking to be added to taglists.
main masterlist | b.b masterlist | about | navi | library
Part II / part I.I - the alternative version
“Come on, baby, come on” Bucky panted dripping with sweat, your small dainty hands finding purchase wherever they could along his broad shoulders and back as he relentlessly pounded into you “scream for me, babydoll, scream how good I fuck you so this whole damn compound knows who’s cock is tearing you o-open — fuck!” Bucky was growling and groaning above you as you struggled with all the strength and will power you had left in your limp fucked out body to keep your eyes open and focused on your man. You loved watching the faces he pulled when he was railing you into your mattress but the way he was destroying you right now had your eyes continuously rolling into the back of your skull and it was just taking too much effort to bring them back to focus on his flushed face and gaping mouth. The sweat from his brow line was slowly dripping onto your face as he pushed the back of your knees up to wrap over his thick forearms, he spread his arms out wide, the muscles in his shoulders bulging as he did so, and leant into you further so you were spread impossibly wide and had your tender slapped ass cheeks lifting off the bed.
You felt a further pool of slickness leak from your dripping cunt as you began to imagine what he looked like from behind as he plowed into you without mercy. You imagined the way his wide shoulders must look and how his body slowly narrowed into his hips in a triangle-esque shape, how his muscles must bulge and shift on his back, how his thick arms were at a wide stance must have forced his shoulder blades to be more prominent and push his surrounding upper back muscles out further. You imagined the way his soft perky ass must look as he gyrates his hips into yours with his knees bent, how it must tense into hard steel when you clench around him making him tense up too as he tries to stop himself from cumming too soon. You imagined how red and clawed up his back must be from your desperate pleas to cling onto him like a koala bear, your body so hot and distant from your mind that you felt you might float away if not clutched to his very person. All those sordid thoughts of how your man must look right now was making you wetter by the second which of course, Bucky being the sensitive man that he is, noticed instantly causing him to curse out into the low light of your sweat filled bedroom. You swore that if you looked up you’d probably notice that your bedroom windows were steamed to the nines from your heated breaths and steaming bodies.
By this point, you had been reduced to a fucked out soaking mess who was incapable of getting out even the most basic of sentences, the only thing that could be heard from your open drooling mouth was moaning whimpering pleas of mercy. You couldn’t even hear what Bucky was saying to you. Your ears were ringing and your vision had nearly all but disappeared as you felt like you were in one long continuous earth shattering orgasm as Bucky kept pounding into your g-spot perfectly. His toned abdomen kept striking your swollen and slick covered clit as his focused strokes consisted of hard deep pounding mixed with salacious sinful hip rolls equalling in the most perfect clit grinding that also brutally kissed your cervix. How this man managed to fuck like this continuously you’d never know. Even a man with super soldier stamina had to stop at some point, right?…right?
“I’m gonna fucking destroy your little cunt till it’s permanently left gaping and used” he suddenly said without warning in a gruff voice with a piercing thrust of his hips, his own words and thoughts they conjured up were making him rut into you at an alarming pace.
“When I’m done— ohhhh shit yes, babygirl, give me that fucking pussy” he cried interrupting himself when he felt you gush again at his earlier words ”when I’m done wi-with y-you you’ll be nothing but a mindless little fff-fuckdoll. And when I’m done, oh baby” he chuckled darkly making you break out in goosebumps all over “I’ll. just. Keep. Fucking. Going.” he growled with each devastating slam of his thick long veiny cock inside your battered hole. Your lips were soaking with your slick like an animal mewling in heat, drenched entirely, puffy red and swollen from the onslaught of his thrusts. Sex with Bucky always felt like he was trying his best to ram himself into your womb and you fucking loved it.
”MM you’re—mm, you’re just my little fleshlight, huh, sweetheart?” He asked but heard no response from you.
“Baby?” He whimpered as he felt you cum once more without prior warning, at this point he had lost count of just how many times you had squirted and creamed on his cock, you were throbbing and clenching so much so that it was hard for him to differentiate between pulsing grips and the sensation of you cumming, until he would feel a new squirt of delicious cream push its way out of you.
Bucky was still waiting to receive a response from you but you were lost to the world, barely there stuck somewhere between the dead and the land of the living. Floating. Floating and weightless until the awakening harsh sting of a palm striking your face sent an ice cold bucket of water over your brain and broke you from your reprieve.
“Look at me when I’m fucking talking to you, you dumb little baby” he said in rage as he grabbed your cheeks in his massive flesh hand causing your lips to pout together from the force “I asked you a fucking question” his hips slowed as he started to deliver strokes so devastatingly slow that each harsh thrust let out a little squirt of white cream to coat his entire rigid cock. “I asked if you were my little fleshlight, babygirl. So the question is'' he snarled as he brought his face to yours and pushed his forehead against your own harshly, he stared deeply into your eyes “are you or are you not my glorified little fleshlight? A little toy for me to pump my load into whenever I want wherever I want, my little cockdrunk whore who takes my cock so well, huh? C’mon, tell daddy that’s what you are, sweetheart”
You latched onto Bucky's hair as your back arched against his ministrations, you felt him press his large fleshy palm to your abdomen, captivated by the way your stomach bulged and wanting to stimulate your spot even further “yes! Yes, daddy! Yes, I’mmmmmmm oh fuck —I’m your little toy, love b-bein’ d-daddy’s fleshlight, love when he just uses me to c-cum!” You cried in ecstasy. Your pleasure caused you to be so impressionable that Bucky could probably have got you to repeat or do just about anything and you would have said or done it without hesitation so long as he kept viscously tearing you apart the way he was. If he stopped now, you felt as if you might simply die without his cock, you never wanted his girthy member to ever leave any of your tight holes. You’d take him any place you could have him so long as he stayed right there. Right. The. Fuck. There.
“Yes, fuck— baby, yes” snarling at your words “perfect…you’re perfect—” he rambled to himself in awe of you “m-m-my perfect little fucking who-r-re. Want to cum in you baby, wanna flood this cunt with cum. Need to nut in you, baby— wanna watch your pretty little face when you feel my thick load stick to your walls, my perfect little breeding slut —oh shit!”
The consistent brutal pounding and simultaneous stimulation of your drenched engorged clit had your next orgasm fast approaching. You could feel the familiar tingle radiate in your lower spine and in the pit of your stomach “Daddy im ‘bout to come again,‘bout to squirt!” you whimpered clutching onto his broad form tighter as you struggled to find purpose with your impending orgasm.
“Fuck yeah, babygirl” he moaned breathlessly unabashedly feeling this one to be a bit more powerful than the last due to the way he kept a steady rhythm of beating into your g-spot at the most perfect angle yet.
“I’m all the way in your fucking belly right now, baby, you feel that? D-don‘t —don’t know how you, shit, h-how you’re able to take everything I give you. You’re perfect baby, you always manage to take this huge fucking cock anyway I give it to you, a-anybody else w-would break in half, b-but you? You’re f-fucking made for me, honey, w-we’re l-like two puzzle pieces and we fit— oh my fucking goddddddd, ohhh~ ohh~, Jesus Christ, baby, you’re clenching so damn hard, I can hardly move out of this tight pussy” Bucky’s own sentence was abruptly cut short and the thought ripped from his brain in an instance when your cunt began to constrict so tightly around him that you were almost choking him, your pussy now so wontonly desperate to milk him for all he was worth.
Bucky began to feel the familiar thumping pulse of your heartbeat resonate and throb within your walls, the clenching few and far between each one, your orgasm was building and building and building by the seconds, ready to reach a crescendo that would drain you entirely leaving you dead to the world till the next morning.
Something about Bucky was particularly feral tonight. You wanted to ask him what was wrong, why it felt like he was trying to claim you from the inside out, not that you were complaining, you just wondered if he heard something said about you, usually Bucky gets particularly possessive if he catches someone looking at you for too long or hearing someone make a sexual remark about your body. You didn’t mind it most of the time and you certainly didn’t mind it when it resulted in Bucky spearing you open, but something about his desperate animalistic behaviour tonight paired with his most dirtiest of words yet had you concerned he had heard something particularly harsh. But from the moment he shoved his fat cock in you, your mind had gone to mush and you’d have to hope that only tomorrow your fucked out brain would remember to check up on him.
“Fuck yeah, baby, fucking cum for me, open up that pretty pussy for me, baby. Need to make room for my load, babydoll—wanna make sure all of it gets as deep as possible. Need to make sure it sticks, gonna keep you plugged up all night, I’m gonna keep my rock hard cock in you whilst we sleep and just keep dumping load after load of this cum in to you, by the time you wake up you’ll be so full and be bred so fucking much you won’t even be able to move. My little hole, my little fucking fleshlight, never wanna leave, never wanna leave this tight cunt. Mine. Mine. Mine.” A litany of possessions were whimpered into your neck as Bucky got lost to his own words of control, losing his dominant composure for a brief moment as he mewled into your neck and sucked at your sweet spot desperately wanting to own you even further than he already had and does.
“I-m -I-Im so c-close, keepgoingkeepgoingkeepgoing pleasekeepgoing” you repeated like a prayer to an icon at an alter, Bucky was your god, your Adonis, and your demon. Your fumbling hands clutched on to his pert ass cheeks as you forced him to drive into you deeper, Bucky groaned at the feeling of your desperation and before you knew it your orgasm began to approach closer and closer, the warm tingling feeling tickling your nerves all over your body was getting stronger and hotter as Bucky‘s sinful words and devilish movements continued without mercy.
“I’m gonna cum! Oh fuck oh fuck I’m gonna fucking fun — please please oh god please don’t stop please don’t ever stop!” You sobbed into Bucky's shoulder as you then threw your head back to the soft pillows below you, head tilted, eyes rolling back, mouth agape in a screaming sob. Your clit pulsing a few more times and cunt clenching tightly, one deep grind later and you suddenly went rigid and clenched unbelievably hard. All your muscles had turned to stone as you began to see visions of white blast before your eyes, your breath held as the most perfect feeling flew over your entire body, goosebumps and warm tingles all over every part of you. Still unable to move and breathe, the feeling finally descended as you suddenly went lax in Bucky’s arms, heaving in a massive breath of air to your lungs as you did. Your orgasm continuing as Bucky went slower and deeper than before to extend the delicious and addictive sensation for you as long as possible. Slowly the pulsing in your clit and the tight contractions of your walls began to slow down and grow further apart.
“Thaaaaats it, baby” Bucky comforted when he first felt you begin to cum, stroking your hair out of your face and leaving his palm on your forehead rubbing his thumb softly over your sweaty head, gently tending to you when he felt you suck in a sharp breath and go rigid against him.
That was a powerful one, huh, baby? He thought and chuckled to himself.
“Make some room f’me. C'mon that’s it, there ya go, sweetheart, push it out c’mon, push” . Bucky moaned to you as he felt you squirt when you came, he started a dirty slow deep grind as if he was trying to dig his cock into the deepest depths of your soul, wanting to retrieve a precious treasure from within, his encouraging words meant that tonight had been the most you had ever came in your entire life, you didn’t think it was possible to release any more cum from your abused hole, but apparently it was and Bucky needed as much as he could get, his lower half was glistening in wetness and dripping onto the bedroom floor below as you never stopped dripping onto him.
“Daddy needs to make sure there’s enough room for you to take as much of this nut as possible. Don’t want any of his cum to go to waste, do you? Know how you love how much daddy cums and cums and fucking cums and just keeps filling you till you wanna burst. Love that about you, baby, always hungry for my loads. Gotta feed that pussy, doll, you gonna let daddy feed his special girl? Right? She looks hungry, sweetheart, we don’t want her to feel neglected now do we, huh?”
“Fuck—god, baby, there’s so much cream, never seen you cream so much before, what’s going on, baby? You just extra sensitive today or did daddy deprive you of his cock for too long an’ now you never want me to leave? Tell daddy, doll, tell him why this pussy is so hungry tonight”
“O-o-ov” your whimpering response turning into long drawn out moans when his sudden slow thrust made you feel every single vein, bump, and thickness of his cock against your rigid textured walls. “O-ov, I-I’m o-ovulating” you nearly whispered as you struggled to get out your words still feeling the aftershocks of your orgasm leave small little twitches throughout your body and gradually further apart pulses of your cunt against his dick.
“Baby…” he cried into your neck like a wounded animal unbelieving of your perfect confession “f-fuck, really?”
You meekly nodded as your glassy unfocused eyes began to roll back into your head once more.
Bucky snarled and pulled out from you, you were about to object and cry out for him to continue to abuse your hole when he suddenly flipped you like a ragdoll as if you weighed nothing at all, he ripped your legs open and pressed harshly down on your lower back to arch your spine without care for your comfort, using his mental hand to fist your hair and keep your face pushed into the mattress. Bucky looked down to where you two would meet and growled at the jiggling of your supple ass cheeks hypnotised by the way the excess flesh would shake like a delicious mouth-watering, sweet, addictive jelly. Seeing his cock plunge beyond your ass cheeks had him rutting faster.
Bucky felt your back arch upwards towards him when he felt you struggling to deal with the overwhelming sensations of how devastatingly deep he was at this new angle.
“Get the fuck back down” he snapped when he felt you arching against his hold, he pushed back down on the base of your back to encourage your initial deep arch.
“Don’t you dare run from this fucking cock—get back here”
“Good fucking girl” was heared above the roaring in your ears as you painfully obeyed his command.
“You want my kids, baby?” He had asked seemingly out of nowhere.
“Oh god, yes yes!” You sobbed into the fabric of your bed overcome with the thought of actually being bred by your lover and having his children.
“Yeah? shit, yeah , when?? Huh? When?!” He said frantically as he began to spank your sensitive ass repeatedly in a frenzy.
“Now, daddy please, want…w-want that n-now”
“You wanna start trying now?huh? Did you plan this, sweetheart? Think you could tempt me with that fertile pussy knowing t-that you’re ovulating and extra creamy and think you could tempt me? Well you were goddamn right, baby”
“D-d-daddy…”
“Fuck , you feel me all the way in your belly, babygirl? Huh? After today I’m gonna be planted right in there growing life in you. You want that? You wanna have daddy’s babies? Wanna make me a real daddy? S-shiiiiit, god, that pussy’s so tight— Jesus Christ!”
“You’re my fucking wife” Bucky growled to himself clearly lost in a fantasy tonight that had him acting like a glorified caveman. It was as if he was trying to convince himself that you were and actualise it into real life. He didn’t even realise your dumb little baby brain had registered his words until you mewled and involuntarily clenched around him.
“O-oh shit, you like that? Yeah, you like that shit? Want me to wife you up, baby? Yeah I want that so bad wanna have you barefoot and pregnant prancing about our house wearing nothing but a diamond ring —shiiiit, you’d make the perfect wife, so sexy, so smart and kind and beautiful and, shit, you’re gonna be such a good mommy, baby”
“Please, Bucky! I want that so bad… it’s a-all I-I’ve ever wanted w-with y-you, oh oh ohh~”
“Don’t worry, sweetheart, gonna give that to you. My powerful sexy badass future little wife and baby mama, that’s what you’ll be, you’re so perfect, my perfect little fuckdoll”
Bucky was a goner, his thoughts had over taken his rational side and left him with nothing but a hindbrain in its place. “Fuck y/n, I can’t hold back anymore, picturing you with my ring on your finger with a swollen belly and huge leaking tits got me wanting to nut so deep in you. ShiT”
“Can i? Can I breed this tight little pussy? God please baby please say yes fuckfuckfuckfuck”
He took your hands once again clutching his ass cheeks and pushing him into you so he couldn’t leave as the only answer he needed.
“Oh god thank you thank you thank you thank you holy shit fuck!”
“fuck, daddy, you’re so fucking deep inside of me , it feels like you’re in my belly right now oh my god”
“Y-y-yeah?? Keep—k-keep talkin’, doll. Fuck, keep. fuckin’.goin’…please” he punctuated his words with hard slamming thrusts, now losing his momentum and whimpering into your neck like a wounded animal.
“Want your cum so fucking deep. Love how much you cum, how it never ends and how you can just keep going and going and going till I’m so fucking full. Want you to make my belly swell with all your cum.. oh my god —please daddy!”
“Shh-iiit, baby— so close, I’m so fucking close, oh god” as Bucky began to feel his lower spine tingle with warmth and his abdomen tense tighter and tighter he rutted into you with less and less rhythm, struggling with all his might to keep moving in and out of you as his arms buckled and his grunts and moans got louder and less controlled. You had no idea when you were moved back to face him but you levitated your hips nonetheless, your ass off the bed to meet his deranged manic thrusts with your own hypnotic grinds.
“Oh! Oh! Ohhh my ggggooooddd” he cried out, face completely smothered in your neck, his hair soaked in sweat from his pained effort to keep going through strained muscles and the light headed floaty dizziness he was currently experiencing as he felt ecstasy begin to take over his whole body. He was utterly lost in the warmth of your tight heat.
“Please, please, daddy, I want your cum! I want it! I want it! please! I want it so bad!” you begged into his ear as he whined into your neck at your desperate pleas, you were now clawing at his broad shoulders as his arms gave out from under him, causing him to collapse onto you, you both screaming out in pleasure at the way he suddenly hit a new angle even deeper.
“C-cum…c-cum with me, please,sweetheart, please” Bucky sounded so broken, so desperate and wanton, more so than he’s ever sounded before. Whatever had upset him earlier and caused him to be so possessive and primal like in the way he rutted into you had now completely evaded him as he got lost in the fantasy of breeding you deeply till he was sure there would be no mistake that you were well and truly his forever. Bucky sequestered all the willpower he had left in his slowly withering body to wedge his metal hand between your sweaty bodies inching it to your core to stimulate your hot bundle of nerves. At this point your clit was so engorged, so swollen, and covered in your own glistening wetness that the slightest of touches was enough to throw you over the edge. So utterly sensitive in fact that the gentlest of swirls from Bucky’s Vibranium fingers around your nub would have catapulted you into another gut wrenching orgasm, and it did. Your skin felt like it was on fire. You were still struggling with your core strength to meet Bucky's frantic thrusts with your own undulations, causing him to now go too deep having it border on being painful (but you didn’t care, you liked when it hurt so good like this), he was breaching your cervix kissing the very edges of it sharply, you were both fucking like wild feral beasts searching for that basic primal feeling of pleasure innate within you both. Grunts, growls, whimpers, mewls, and moans from your both in equal measure were sending a cacophony of sounds that were echoing throughout your home as your over stimulated clit had you feeling a slight tender burn from the overuse of how much you had cum tonight, you would surely feel this burning, and the core aching sensations, the following morning, but as of right now the pain was bearable due to the overwhelming feeling of intense pleasure that was almost within each of your grasps.
You once again catapulted into pleasure, this time without the usual prior warning as you screamed out Bucky’s name over and over again. Bucky’s hips stuttered at the unexpected feeling of you clenching around him so quickly.
Your brain was too far gone to warn him that you were cumming. Bucky could no longer hold on now, he allowed himself the undeniable consuming pleasure of getting lost in ecstasy as he cried into you.
“Oh fuck! I-I-m gonna cum I’m gonna cum I’m gonna f-fucking cum. Oh shit y/n I’m cumming I’m cumming I’m cu—“ Bucky’s body went taught within you when he let out a pained stuttering whimper as his legs began to buckle and shake from the intense pleasure, falling into your slick skin even further. The force of the fountain of creamy sticky seed travelling at lightning speed from his huge painful looking balls and then making the treacherous and long journey of propelling through his creamy white shaft (courtesy of you) and bursting from his uncut head was so powerful that it was directly what had caused him to collapse on top of you. His ass cheeks clenched tightly as he felt a huge continuous load flow deep into your sensitive core.
Screams of “oh” and “ahh” and a litany of curses came from Bucky in rough growls and crying whimpers as he continued to pour his never ending stream into you, slowly rutting in and out only by an inch or so (as he was too desperate to stay close and pinned to you to come out any further) as he began to ride the waves of his earth shattering soul wrenching orgasm.
You were barely conscious, just within your own body enough to feel how powerful his spurts of seed were against your walls. So powerful and so thick in fact that you could actually feel how warm the liquid was as it shot into you at an incredible force.
You felt it stick inside you and cling to your walls as you laid there barely awake and let him breed you fully and deeply.
“Ooh fuck” he cried as he rested his metal palm against your bulging abdomen, feeling where his still rock hard strained cock was nudging your womb and where his continuous spurts of creamy cum were beginning to show as you subtly swelled. Bucky was a super soldier, the advanced serum paired along with his 70 years of involuntary abstinence and touch deprivation had not only meant that he was insatiable enough to meet your own hungry sexual appetite, but it also meant that he had an ungodly somewhat medically alarming amount of cum stored in those heavy balls of his.
That same serum also made sure that he could breed you so full that you’d be satiated enough to pass right out to sleep, hunger fed and womb filled.
Bucky was still sleepily rutting into you and rubbing circles on your abdomen as you too struggled to stay awake, desperate to feel the filling sensation strain your cervix before you would both ultimately pass out together.
“Sssshittt, am still cummin’” he drunkenly slurred in shock into your previously ravished neck, “sucha good girl takin’ all o’it inside, Shh shhh, fuck it’s almost done, little longer, baby” Bucky cooed, sloppily kissing your temple and the side of your face in an attempt to find comfort in his exhausted pussy drunk state.
After a few more minutes, the final spurts of Bucky’s potent seed and been reduced to slow dribbles. Bucky was now planted behind you, spooning your tired form, whispering sweet nothings in to your ear to placate you further.
“Shh, Shh. Did so fucking well for me, doll”
“Lookityou, all swollen and and sleepy and fucked out, this is exactly what it’ll be like when I get you pregnant, honey”
“My good girl, can’t believe how much of my load you took, Jesus, you must be so full right now, doll. No wonder you’re sleepy, that cock putting you right to bed, huh? Good, my future baby mama needs all the rest she can get because I’m no way near fuckiny done with you yet”
“Get some rest, lil mama. I love you so much” Bucky sighed dreamily as he buried his face on to your shoulder blades and continued to rub your abdomen as you sleepily replied that you loved him too, always.
-
When you woke up after that night, head lying on Bucky’s naked chest, your hand placed upon his peck, you noticed him staring down at you with such love and adoration in his eyes. You beamed up at him, raising your hand to stroke his jaw tenderly when you caught sight of the diamond engagement ring on your finger reflecting the warm rays of the early morning sun peaking through your curtains. You gasped as you took your hand away from his face, Bucky missing your warm touch already, you sat up straight, the covers falling from your naked chest as you brought the ringed had to your face and gazed at it with a mix of shock and awe, your heart beating and pounding in your chest as you slowly turned your head to look back at Bucky who was now full on his side leaning on his arm to watch you with a beaming smile.
No words were needed as you launched yourself at him, Bucky letting out a small “oof” when you fell onto him and launched him on to his back. You peppered his stubbled face with kisses and hugged him tightly as he brought his arms around you and squeezed you back.
“I’ll take that as a yes then?” He asked smugly
“It was always going to be ‘yes’ for you, James. I’m so happy right now”
Bucky’s eyes were glassy as he held back his tears, looking down at you and kissing the top of your head as he held you close.
“Me too, babydoll, me too”
-
Ever since the night that he made you his fiancé he had been more insatiable than ever. Obsessed with the way your diamond clad hand looks wrapped around his cock, plowing into you with a feral intensity that can only be described as a man desperate to see his future wife full with his children.
His new primal animalistic nature had meant that Bucky would take you anywhere and everywhere when he could no longer hold back his inhibitions, resulting in team members walking in on you both or Bucky just simply ripping you from a chat with natasha and wanda in the living room to fuck you full in the next room and then plonk you back on the sofa all flustered and flushed next to your friends, and stroll out the room with a cocky swagger like nothing had ever happened.
But because of that, it also meant that new recruits had heard you both too. You had started out as a recruit too once when you first met Bucky and fell in love, and now these new recruits unfortunately looked like they had been talking about you both for quite some time which was evident when you overheard their latest conversation as you walked into the gym.
You were a strong independent woman but you weren’t ashamed of the fact that you liked when Bucky took care of you or took charge in the bedroom, just like how Bucky was secure enough in his masculinity to adore how you also took care of him or when he found it undeniably sexy when you took charge in the bedroom. You didn’t really care what people thought about you and your relationship with him. However, it was one thing to assume what people thought of you and tell yourself that you didn’t care, and an entirely other thing to actually hear the words of criticism and hatred out loud. It played on your carefully constructed confidence and self worth, Bucky knew how hard you had worked to maintain a healthy mindset that both kept you positive and determined but also welcomed sadness and anger when it came. Toxic positivity was something you loathed, sadness and anger should be embraced, you should be allowed to cry and wallow for a little while, but it was important to know when to pull yourself back up so as to not get too consumed by it.
You hardly ever cried. You got emotional sometimes, sure, but crying was not something you did often and Bucky had been noticing it more and more. You normally would have given those recruits a piece of your mind so the fact that you started crying was making you cry even more in frustration at yourself.
When Bucky saw you rushing back to the living space you shared with him inside the compound, he went berserk. Bucky knew expressing even negative emotions at times was good for mental health, but it still didn’t mean that on the off chance he saw you cry that it didn’t make him absolutely furious with rage wanting to snap the neck of whatever or whomever reduced you to tears.
-
“Bucky, wait!” You said through your sniffles as you sobered up to the realisation that he might actually kill these people.
Your pleas fell on deaf ears as he swung the front door open, slamming it against the adjacent wall from the sheer strength he exuded and continued to march down the hall towards the gym.
When he reached the gym doors he launched them off their hinges to the middle of the room as he kicked them open with his black combat boots.
All eyes moved to the looming finger at the end of the gym as he began to approach them methodically.
“Bucky, stop! Please!” You screeched in horror at the chaos he was leaving in his wake.
“Yeah! Why don’t you listen to your slutty little girlfriend!” One of the male recruits shouted across to Bucky. Clearly he was under the impression that Bucky wouldn’t actually kill them or lay a finger on them because they were in the avengers tower surrounded by earths mightiest hero’s, clearly he was wrong.
Bucky’s head snapped in the direction of the idiotic man who insulted you in front of him “what did you just fucking say?” He asked lowly now towering over him to his full height and then crouching slightly to bring his face inches from his and glare into the depths of his soul.
The man gulped. Confident composure crumbling ever so slightly as he realised perhaps he may actually kill me because there is certainly no one coming to his rescue.
“I asked you a fucking question!” He roared as the statement echoed off the gymnasium walls. The other recruits flinched at the loud sound but didn’t move from their spots, rooted to the ground in fear.
In one alarmingly quick and swift mood you watched in fascinated horror as Bucky’s body pressed the man in to the wall, pinning him by his neck with his Vibranium arm.
“I warned you a long long fucking time ago” he sneered nostrils flaring as he fought with himself not to snap the recruits neck “that if you ever. And I mean ever talked about my girl like that again I would fucking skin you alive. So tell me right fucking now why my best girl has come back to our place crying her heart out over some worthless little runts in our gym. Hmm?”
“We-w-w-we’re sorry, man, we didn’t mean anything by it”
Bucky pressed his forearm harder against the man’s throat as he clawed at Bucky’s metal arm. Bucky sensed movement from the corner of his peripheral vision as another recruit moved to sneak up on Bucky and save his friend. Bucky wasted no time in punching the man straight in the face without taking his eyes off the recruit in front of him. He turned away from Bucky and watched in horror as his friend was catapulted across the room.
“Everytime one of your friends tries to interrupt our conversation I’m going to take a finger. It won’t be pretty, I didn’t bring my knife with me so I’ll just have to rip it from its socket with my Vibranium arm. And trust me, I’ve done it before so I know how to do it in the longest most torturous way possible” he growled into the paling man’s face.
Sounds of numerous people’s feet were heard running down the hall to get to the source of all the loud bangs and screaming. Steve slid to a halt at the scene in front of him feeling like he had entered the den of a hungry and feral lion. He could smell the fear in the air, the blood, the sweat, and hear the eerily steady beat of his best friends heart as he towered over the cowering man against the back wall.
Tony, Natasha, and Sam were the only other people in the compound this week so they all came bursting into the room after Steve.
“What the hell is going on in here?!” Tony said as he took sight of the damaged doors and the body of a recruit laying unconscious in the far corner
“Bucky?” Steve asked lowly as he slowly approached his friend, apprehension in his voice as he was worried somehow the winter soldier had returned.
His worries were momentarily erased when he heard his friend reply a “yes, Steven?” In a bored tone.
“Someone better tell me what’s going on right now before I lose my cool!” Tony scolded as he flicked his wrists tapping his arm and bringing his nanotech suit to his hands, arming himself.
“Ah” Bucky chuckled darkly. His back still to the group as the man pressed to the wall was pleading with the avengers over Bucky’s broad shoulders.
He grabbed the man by the back of his neck with his metal arm and twisted them around to face the group.
“We we’re just getting to the bottom of why….” He trailed off and shook the man by his nape
“Jacob” the recruit squeaked our understanding the que
“Why Jacob here didn’t heed my earlier warning to shut the fuck up, and then decided to make my girl over there cry” Bucky gestured to you with Jacob that was still in his harsh grip
The team turned their focus to you as they saw your red rimmed eyes and pale face.
“Y/n?” Natasha whispered “are you okay?” She approached you slowly as you shook your head no and let out a small sob, your shoulders shaking rapidly as you tried to keep in your tears and sadness to yourself. She wrapped you in a warm embrace as she cuddled you to her chest and stroked the back of your head. You curled your arms around her waist and sniffled quietly as she began to coo words of comfort at you.
“So, Jacob, the floor is yours” Bucky said as he threw him ti the ground causing him to let out pained yelp as he fell on to his wrists with s sickening crack.
Bucky crouched next to him as Jacob sobbed “ a few weeks ago Jakey boy here made the unfortunate mistake of saying some disgusting things about y/n when I was within earshot. Started talking about our sex life, calling my future wife a slut and a whore, because his virgin limp dick ass was jealous that a real man knows how to please his girl. Him and his little friends started to talk about how she was easy too”
Natasha looked down at you as she furrowed her brows. Usually you could handle something like that and fight back, probably knock them on their asses, but you didn’t.
“Come on, man” Sam groaned “that’s so stupid and unnecessary, you know white wolf over here has super hearing, not to mention talking about one of our own won’t go well for you”
“Well good luck to you, you’re own your own” Tony said as he let down his arms but continued to watch the free show in front of him
“I warned him. I told him if it wasn’t for my girl in the next room that I would skin him alive for what he said. But then I find my best girl crying in my arms and now I want to know what the FUCK he said to her to make her so upset”
“Friday, audio playback of recruit Jacob Athens and his friends from this room”
“Wait—no!” You shouted as your turned from Natasha’s arms causing Bucky to look at your with a raised brow in confusion
“Yes, sir. The time is currently fifteen hundred hours, what time would you like the audio to play from?” The automated voice rang out through the compounds integrated speakers.
“Tony, please don’t” you pleaded as he looked at your strangely.
“From whenever agent y/n l/n was within normal ear shot of the gym and then till she left the room”
“Very good sir”
A crackling noise was heard as the audio was located and began to play throughout the room.
Shit.
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sk8 au week - day 1: roommates
langa glares at the door as if it has caused all his problems. as if this grey piece of flimsy wood signed him up for an international roommate program in a drunken haze after spending a night out drinking with friends.
but sadly the door is not to blame; drunk langa is. and that is why sober langa is not on speaking terms with drunk langa as of the moment.
langa’s phone dings and the blue haired boy turns his glare to the small glowing screen. the alarm says two new messages have come through. he taps on the screen and see a message from each of his friends in their collective group chat. langa reads the texts.
‘cecil: have fun w ur new roommate langa!!’
langa sends the middle finger emoji to them.
‘john: hope u get some1 cute ;)’
langa send him a middle finger too.
a text from cecil pops up.
‘cecil: aww langa u meanie u love us thoo’
‘r u sure abt that?’ langa sends back.
both langa and his friends know he’s only joking though. cecil and john are some of the closest friends langa has ever had and he wouldn’t want to lose them.
cecil’s family has lived in canada for hundreds of years and their ancestors were some of the founding tribes that still are around in reservations today. langa met them when cecil stood up to their teacher and lectured her on how her information about the native americans was biased and wrong. they then proceeded to tell the whole class the correct history of their ancestors before being sent to the principals for talking back to a teacher. langa had stood up and ran after them ignoring the teachers yells. catching up to cecil in the hall langa blurted out how he thought they were cool and was wondering if they’d like to sit with him at lunch. and that day langa made his first real friend.
langa met john about a year later. it was the winter break of freshman year and cecil was away visiting family so it was just langa at the snow resort. normally his dad came but oliver had work that day and so langa took the bus by himself. as he was walking into the resort he found the door blocked by a large snowboard stuck in the frame. standing next to the stuck board was a short red head cursing in a thick scottish accent. someone shouldered past the boy causing him to spill hot chocolate all over himself. langa had taken pity on the boy thinking he was here with a parent and had gotten their board stuck in the door so he went to help him. langa soon found out the large board belonged to the small boy who could control it like a god and was a beast on the slopes. langa bought the boy a new hot chocolate and after a bit of small talk found out the boy would be going to his school next semester. then the boy -who name langa found out was john- asked langa if he wanted to hit the slopes again and so langa found himself a second friend.
langa’s phone pings and he is pulled from his memories.
‘john: hey cecil lay off langa a bit it’s slightly our fault too
john: i mean we did get him drunk’
‘see finally some1 w some sense ty john’ langa shoots back.
langa’s phone pings again.
‘cecil: :p‘
langa smiles to himself as his friends begin to text back and forth.
langa readjusts the strap on his shoulder, trying to lessen the weight of his board.
breath langa, breath. he tells himself. your new roommate is going to be fine. and if they’re not you can switch after a semester. it’s not forever.
how langa got himself in this situation exactly he’s not sure. his mom sends him a link to a college freshman international roommate program, he scans over it, goes out for drinks with friends then wakes up the next morning with an email thanking him for his participation in the roommate program.
somehow langa had been able to fill out the survey without any problems despite being drunk. and now because of his stupid drunk decision on the other side of this grey door is a japanese exchange student who langa is going to be roommates with for at least a semester.
reaching for the handle langa contemplates running away and developing a whole new identity but a noise on the other side of the door catches his attention.
after a minute langa realizes it’s a voice. a happy bright voice babbling away to someone or something in japanese. now langa prides himself on his japanese, it’s not great but it’s good and hopefully his roommate can help him in the places where he struggles. langa tries to translate the words but the walls muffle the voice so langa gives up. reaching for the handle again langa opens the door this time. nothing could have prepared him for what was on the other side of that door.
standing on the kitchen table is a red haired boy in a hoodie and jeans. a blue headband with a character on it wraps around his head and a chain dangles from his jeans, a small wrench attached to it. langa does a double take when he realizes the boy isn’t standing on the table - he’s standing on a skateboard which is on the table. langa thinks he looks ethereal standing there balanced carefully, hair flying in all directions, eyes wild and bright. a phone sits open on the counter and langa sees a boy in a cat ear hoodie on the screen. he must be on facetime. langa thinks to himself.
“i can explain!” the boy standing on langa’s kitchen table yells in english, japanese accent sounding like sweet honey to langa ears.
but the movement of throwing his arms up in surprise has caused the boy to lose his balance and so he wobbles on his board before falling off. langa swears the redhead is held aloft for a few infinite seconds like a falling angel before he crashes onto the floor. the boy on the other side of the call barks out a laugh, calls the fallen angel a slime then disconnects from the call.
langa looks around the table to see the boy sprawled out, groaning in pain. he lets a few choice words in japanese slip past his lips.
reaching down a hand, langa let’s out a small laugh before asking if the boy is ok in japanese.
the angel on langa’s kitchen floor seems to glow at the use of his first language before babbling on in japanese about some skateboarding trick his friend dared him to do. as langa watches the boy in front of him he begins to think that maybe this roommate program isn’t such a bad thing. and as the boy catches his eye langa let’s himself smile and he this that’s this is definitely not a bad thing.
~ ~ ~
langa finishes off the rest of his drink before looking up at his friends. cecil has their nose in a book and john is staring at the florist across the street.
“so you know reki?” he starts.
“you mean your roommate?” john asks, eyes turning to langa.
“what other reki’s do we know?” cecil says not looking up from their book.
“well...i’m dating him now. we’re dating i mean.” langa watches both his friends for their reactions.
“fucking FINALLY!!” cecil yells slamming their book closed causing langa to jump.
john chokes on his drink. “damnit langa you couldn’t have waited till next semester could you? now i owe cecil twenty bucks.” he groans.
it’s takes langa’s brain a second to catch up to what john just said.
“you had a bet going?!” langa stands up abruptly. “wow ok what friends you are.” but despite the snarky tone langa had a smile plastered on his face and a warm feeling in his heart.
~ ~ ~
@sk8-au-week
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dragimal · 4 years ago
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no shade but I don’t trust anyone that shits on early Martin for being a pushover, or thinks that his early characterization was somehow like, a “fake” version of himself until he “revealed” he was “actually” more confident later on
not to be like, “y’all have no concept of anxiety, emotional abuse, or self-worth issues,” but y’all literally don’t. ok sure, maybe Martin crafted that persona, in part, but ya wanna know why people do that?
when your very existence is treated like a burden-- especially from a young age-- you learn to make yourself smaller. you learn to move quietly, to talk softly, to simply nod and move on, and to shut down the parts of you that may be too big
because if you don’t? there’s going to be a fucking problem, and you’ll do everything in your power to stave off that hurt and rejection, even if it means denying yourself the simple joy of existing
and sure, that’s absolutely a kind of manipulation-- making people think you’re small on purpose. but coming from experience, it’s mostly just to prevent trouble and pain? it just makes life easier, to fade into the background, to make sure ppl underestimate and don’t bother you-- no chance for rejection if the people around you have no expectations, yeah? more often it’s a decision to not participate rather than a decision to actively warp others’ views, ya get me?
of course, I do think Martin takes a slightly more active role in trying to craft a soft persona for others, but I still don’t think it comes from a “fake” place? like, he does genuinely want to help others, and make ppl feel good and welcome? which makes sense coming from someone who was made to feel broken and unwelcome his entire goddamn life?? like, of COURSE he actively chooses to be kind and homely, he’s trying to give others the home he never had!!
and maybe, just maybe, if he can get one prickly, stubborn, bad-tempered person in his life to like him, then maybe he has a chance to fix things with the other prickly, stubborn, bad-tempered person in his life. just a thought.
"well if he did it on purpose, then that means it’s still fake--” NO
for one, there’s literally no possible way to untangle the knot of cause-effect here-- where does abusive influence stop, and where does Martin’s decision-making begin, exactly? where does an inherent personality trait stop, and an active cultivation of that trait begin? you can’t separate these things
BUT ALSO I think a lot of ppl have rly fucked up ideas abt self-identity in general, even outside of abusive scenarios. like, you CAN just choose to be a particular kind of person, if you want? choosing to be something doesn’t make it fake-- in fact, I think taking an active role in crafting yourself is a rewarding process, if it’s something you actually want to be doing
anyways, Martin partly choosing to be small doesn’t make that persona fake-- it’s still a version of himself! like, I get that this capitalistic hellscape forces us to dissociate from our work personas, but just b/c we may hate our jobs doesn’t mean that the part of ourselves we show at work is “fake”? like, I’m still ME at work, just a smaller me, y’know? 
besides, do you rly think Martin should’ve just talked back to Jon-- his BOSS-- when Martin was already full of anxiety over lying on his CV? you rly think that would’ve been a smart decision, regardless of how “””real””” y’all think his self-worth issues are? y’all rly want him to risk his livelihood in s1 THAT bad??
but god like, it genuinely hurts to see ppl shit on characters like early Martin, and esp when ppl praise him for “finally” being a bitch in later seasons, like. you understand that blaming a person with self-worth issues, for their lack of confidence.... isn’t going to help them? like, how do u think it must feel for anxious folks to see meek characters mocked constantly, only for those characters to later be praised for “finally bucking up”? 
like, hello? you don’t just “bootstrap” your way out of confidence issues! it only hurts to make ppl think that IS how it works, b/c they’re gonna start hating themselves MORE for feeling like they aren’t “strong enough” to pull themselves out of their anxiety all on their own!!
idk maybe I’m projecting too much, but a lot of what’s helped me heal from my own mom issues has been seeing my past self as a just a person rather than specifically *me*. b/c I may have trouble admitting that *I* deserved better, because it’s hard to admit that every situation isn’t automatically my fault. BUT I CAN admit that a confused 5 yo, a scared 10 yo, a nervous-wreck 15 yo child did NOT deserve the shit my mom put her through. because nobody deserves that-- NOBODY deserves abuse, it’s just a basic human right
so like, the hate for early Martin just feels like ppl are blaming him for being fucking abused? for having trauma that he hasn’t had the safe space and community to heal from yet? like, there’s a fucking reason he’s meek, and it’s not because he’s faking it, or because he somehow deserves it for the awful crime of not being confident enough?? fucking jesus
to be clear, I love “bitchy” Martin in later seasons-- it’s so rewarding to see him finally stick up for himself! but his confidence issues weren’t fake, nor do I blame him for being meek in early seasons-- hell, s5 even confirmed that these issues aren’t even gone! Martin still doesn’t see himself as worth much, even if his anxiety has been pushed to the background in the face of so much other violently traumatizing shit
meek Martin is still a real Martin, and ‘bitchy’ Martin isn’t a “better” Martin
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