#and a topic ive talked about a few times in the past year or so

[rassicas]

just so you guys know: -i am not dead -i am cooking -i am not even halfway done with this

[81folklore]

this is me trying - LECLERC

pairing: charles leclerc x small!singer!reader (fc: olivia rodrigo)

summary: after a twitter thread was made talking about the struggles you faced in a horrible way, you release a song you wrote with charles to talk about it

authors note: i am in no way saying olivia has struggled with or is dealing with anything mentioned in this story. this song means alot to me as someone who struggles with both addiction and my mental health so if im projecting..no one needs to know😁 i honestly have no clue how this is going to turn out but we will see. anything in bold italics is french

warnings: talks of addiction, depression, anxiety and suicide. alcohol addiction, drugs and self harm are all mentioned. the topics of this is me trying are mentioned, for obvious reasons but in a more personally focused way (if that makes sense). unwarrented hate (?). nothing really goes into detail but just regular warnings, please reach out to someone if you are struggling!!

authors note 2: i had to dust this one off and I HATE IT. its literally my least favorite work ive ever done so please feel free to keep scrolling😭😭 i just kept projecting by accident and it honestly kind of got out of hand. im also SO BAD with my wording so i have no clue if any of it sounds how i wanted it too!!

authors note 3: after reading it over i realised i never actually explained what i was talking about in the song thread so quickly, charles’ and yn split for a short period after yn started shutting him out, she spoke to someone (the stranger) who helped her start to extend the branches back out to charles and they got back together around 11 ish months before the song was released!! the fans never knew why they broke up, there was some speculation but most of it was dropped when they got back toegther

masterlist

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, arthur_leclerc and 2,457 others

good food, yummy people😋

view comments

arthur_leclerc: you mean good people yummy food right?

yourusername: suuure😁

charles_leclerc: beautiful girl

yourusername: love you!!

user7: what is charles doing in the 5th picture😭😭

yourusername: he dropped his airpod😭

user10: girl have you seen twitter…

user75: charles run as fast as you can

user2: there is no way charles knew he’d never be with someone like that💀

user10: what and he’d be with someone like you??

user6: wait what is happening in these comments what happened on twitter?

user7: someone made a thread ‘exposing’ yn but its just a bunch of bullshit that his fans are using because they dont like yn

yourusername

liked by pierregasly, charles_leclerc and 3,562 other

studio time with baeee💋💋

view comments

charles_leclerc: my favorite musician💐

charles_leclerc: i love you so much

yourusername: you mean the world to me charlie

pierregasly: kika wants to know if she can come next time

yourusername: tell her to text me so we can arrange it!!

user73: oh my god new music soon

user64: does this mean charles is on her new music?!

yourusername: maybeee

user64: GIRL DONT TEASE US LIKE THIS

user99: im so sorry about whats happening on twitter you dont deserve that

user2: yes she does

arthur_leclerc: can you tell charles to stop talking about your music when im not allowed to hear it, please🙏

yourusername: sorry arthur!! wanna come for a car ride and listen to it with us??

arthur_leclerc: please please please

user82: yn and charles taking arthur on a car ride to listen to her new song, oh what if i cried😭😭

arthur_leclerc added to their story

seen by yourusername, charles_leclerc and 86,289 others

*text in first picture reads: 🤍🤍* *text in second picture reads: so unbelievably proud of my sister*

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, sebastianvettel and 8,215 others

if you had told me a year ago that not only would i still be here but i would be releasing a song talking about the darkest times of my life with the love of my life by my side i would never have believed you.

throughout the past few months i have revisited times of my life i wish i could have left behind but ive learnt that accepting that this is a part of me now is important in my journey of moving forwards, and in moving forwards ive learnt that my struggles do not define me and i wont be embarrassed by things that have affected me

sometimes i wish i could go back and erase that part of my life, erase the way i felt, erase the way i treated the people i loved the most. but i cant, and i wont let people belittle me for that time anymore

if you have struggled in the past or are struggling today, you are not alone. its a cliche thing to say but i promise you at least one other person will be experiencing the feelings your feeling, you may not know them, you may never know them but you are not alone, you never have been and you never will be

you are not weak for struggling, you are not weak for finding ways to cope, no matter what they may be, you are not weak for shutting people out and you are not weak for reaching out for help, no matter how little you think you need it. you deserve help, no matter how small your problems may seem to you, you are worthy of being safe, you are worthy of being happy

i never thought i would release a song highlighting those times for me, but i wanted anyone whose been through these things to know that i love you and i will always love you; this is me trying out now on all platforms❤️‍🩹

view comments

arthur_leclerc: i am so so proud of you, you deserve all the happiness in the world

charles_leclerc: you mean the world to me, i am so proud of what you have achieved and i will be by your side forever and always

yourusername: charlie i hold so much love for you i feel like i may explode

user55: ive been struggling with an addiction for a while, i cannot express the way this song feels. just, thank you so much

yourusername: im right beind you darling, i believe in you❤️‍🩹

user81: i fear if i listen to this anywhere outside of the comfort of my room i will break down in tears

user93: 🩵🩵

user42: I😭JUST😭WANTED😭YOU😭TO😭KNOW😭THAT😭THIS😭IS😭ME😭TRYING😭

sebastianvettel: im so proud of you yn, come visit with charles soon sweetheart

yourusername: dropping everything and coming right now

lewishamilton: 💜💜

yourusername: hi lewis🤭🤭

user70: YN HELP😭😭 (just like me fr)

charles_leclerc and yourusername added to their stories

seen by pierregasly, sebastianvettel and 2,348,172 others

*text on first photo reads: i hold so much love for you🩷* *text on second photo reads: my bestest friend in the entire universe🩵*

[licensedproldier]

highlights from the dropout anthony padilla/courtney miller interview! (aka things i liked or didnt know)

ally IMMEDIATELY kicking us off by introducing themselves as vic michaelis and dabbing so softly

ally ALSO IMMEDIATELY kicking us off by calmly answering the 'tell us about yourself' question with "ive been testing positive for covid for about 3 weeks now" "is that true?" "of COURSE NOT OH MY GOD??"

ally calls the covid vaccine the "Fauci-ouchie"

its been 1 minute into the video

VIC LYING ABOUT THEIR FAVORITE COLOR FOR NO REASON

its been TWO minutes into the video

ALLY HIJACKING HER ATTEMPT TO ASK AGAIN BY MOVING ONTO THE TRANSITION THEMSELF

ok we're locking in locking in

everyone needs to hear the ally wrongpile beardsley story at least once <3

vic was 100% in on sam's vision for dropout and ally COULD not have been more full of doubt.

all of them saying a contemplative 'ooooo' when asked if they miss sketches and then a beat afterwards vic immediately bursting out with 'sketch is dead i hate sketch. anyway-"

IFY MOO DENG MENTION

ify talking about how close and interconnected the cast is and was off screen since way back

"noo c'mon c'mon those are those pale clammy little hands i love so much 🥺" "theyre DRY AS A BONE"

vic's "I just dont ever think that anyone is thinking about me. like i am thinking about myself 100% more than anyone else is thinking about me"

vic thought it was crazy when they got asked to host VIP because she felt too new for it despite having a lot of experience

ally thinks its funny to make each other do the thing theyre known for but also they agree brennan is just that analytical about every topic and birds are not special KHADGKASJDF

vic and ify enthusiastically agreeing with the above LMAO

vic plays a character of herself while ify performs very close to his actual self

'is the broke comedian bit real' all of them immediately exaggeratedly laughing and looking away and going NOOO WE'RE FINEEE WE'RE FINEEE

ally's analogy of watering a plant that has been dead for a long time and how they might be doing good but the water has a lot of past cracks to fill in which i dont know enough about plants to tell if this is an accurate analogy but its an effective one

money-wise, the tide has turned for the better for them in the last few years 🥺

dropout did profit-share last year! vic cried 🥺

ify "i was there when youtube was created by a couple of guys" GOOGLE HOW OLD IS YOUTUBE. ONLY 19??????

ally needing clarification on if he was actually THERE when it was created or not

ify talking about how more people in the industry are recognizing him FROM dropout things

THE EDITORS ACTUALLY USING THE CLIP OF ALLY'S DAB AS A TRANSITION

vic "10 years ago if you told me i could actually make money from doing improv and my reaction was anything other than 'holy shit thats incredible' i would like murder myself. i would throw myself into a trash can"

immediate no's on "do you feel like you have to share your personal lives on camera" because they just like oversharing

"oh you grew up mormon too?" "no but i just LOVE 💞🥰 the mormons"

"studio CE shoutout. dont shout them out actually. well, you can if you want to."

some great takes on parasocial relationships

ify thinks his audience are the kinky poly folks. can we get a shout from the kinky poly folks!

ify pointing right at the camera and saying "IF you are at a sex party and i introduce myself as IFY do NOT give me your fake stage name. you are saying my REAL GOVERNMENT name here"

ally bringing up chappell roan in the parasocial relationships discussion yoooo

ify doing a voice imitation of his uncle suggesting he do jokes for a relative's graduation KHAGKAJKAKJDFSD

the horror on all their faces when courtney says they're lucky that fans dont ask them to do something funny in public when they meet them

grilled cheese scale: ify's are solid. ally is a good cook but they're allergic to bread, vic inconclusive

vic loves the joke of being called vehicular and would change their government name to it even LMAO

izzy roland shoutout!!!!!

ify's sex dungeon would also be where he paints warhammer minis.

"what is your favorite thing that he did" "...anthony?" "yeah" "th. this? this channel? this right here?"

SZA talked about ify on VIP in a variety article???

SZA INTENTIONALLY DRESSED UP LIKE IFY WAS ON VIP?????

this is like the first time i saw mxmtoon commented on zac's instagram except magnified by a hundred

"Grimes if you're watching this, slide into the DMs"

ally fanning themselves going "thats actually too hot i simply need to go" hearing that lana del rey graduated studying philosophy with an emphasis in metaphysics

everyone at this table ships ally beardsley and lana del rey

nice to know ify and em are still together!

"do you consider yourself an angel of death? i consider myself an angel of death for network television" vic talking about how theyve been on SO many second-to-last episodes of shows that were canceled 😭

Super fun and insightful!!!! we dont get to see these three vibe together much on screen 🥺 video under cut!

[cosmicdream222]

It’s been a while since I made a Master Shifter Vanilla post. I came across this one and it went along with some asks and discussions I’ve been posting lately. This one is for my Scorpio anon 🌝

As always, the author of the original post is a master shifter called Vanilla/Love who was active on amino several years ago. I have edited her posts for grammar and clarity, but all credit belongs to her. The original post.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・。.。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Vanilla explains: Past Lives, Death & Afterlives

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・。.。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

TW - Mention of death

Table of Contents

i. Intro

ii. Note

iii. Death

- What Happens

- Where Do I Go

- What Is There

iv. Past Lives

v. Outro

i. Intro

In this post, I’ll delve into some topics that are pretty unknown around here - death and afterlives in the multiverse. What is it? What happens? Please make sure to read the note and enjoy!

ii. Note

Please keep in mind that all these things are experiences from me and several other multiverse explorers. I've already died around 50-100 times and visited way over 200+ afterlives in all kinds of reality concepts. Of course, it always differs in realities, but some basic things are always the same, such as the root of an afterlife and its purpose in a reality concept. This post is here to take away worries so you can be sure: death is nothing scary and never an end.

iii. Death

Let's talk about death - the end of a life. But really, no, it’s actually not. A lot of things happen, but even they are not ultimate. Death itself is not ultimate. There are as many realities where death exists as there are some where it doesn't. In fact, the topic of "death" around the multiverse is a heated debate.

Negative things like anger, worries, doubts, fear, pain, jealousy, and all these things are not natural. They are mostly (in this reality concept) a product of being human, and our subconscious mind always tries its best to keep them away from us. But still, they are part of some reality concepts, often the ones that the mainstream of awarenesses avoids.

It's the same with death. An awareness is not made to be gone. So, there are people saying that death is a terrible part of the multiverse, and there are people saying that death is, like the concept of "identity," a nice extra in some realities. Whatever party you choose, it's completely valid.

What Happens

Now, let's address the most important question: what happens when we die? What does that mean? We die, or at least our "life body" does. The body that breathes, drinks, eats, moves during our lifetime. It can die in many ways, because we get too old, have an injury, accidents, you know what I mean. The most common way is this one:

You die at some point, there is a moment where you 100% will no longer live.

This moment can be triggered by many causes, but whatever it is, the same thing happens.

Before your life body dies, you automatically spawn in an afterlife.*

*depending on the individual

That means you don't feel it, you do not suffer. When you reach the point where you won't live anymore, you'll just pop up there in your "afterlife body." The rest depends on the reality concept and the afterlife itself. This way, it's possible for you to experience life, death, and afterlife without worrying about such stuff.

When you get hit by a car would you suffer for the next 4 hours? No, you are already in an afterlife - gone before the car even touches you. When you are really, really sick and would definitely die at some point? Individual - some want to experience it (because of, for example, loved ones) till a few hours before they die, some do not want that, and some do without actually "being in their physical body" - that means that you can talk, think, feel, interact with everything but the sick, physical body cannot affect you. It will happen exactly how you want. Remember: your reality, your rules. But what happens after it?

Where Do I Go?

That is really individual. There is no "ultimate" afterlife and no "ultimate" even after you die. It basically happens however you want. Many here are afraid of "not being able to shift" in an afterlife. But do you know what? Theoretically, it is even easier than here in this reality, in this life, because there is nothing that can influence you. No physical circumstances, nothing. You'll shift from there exactly like in the rest of the multiverse, 100% instantly. So now that we've cleared this up, what are your options?

1. You die and just shift to the reality of your desire (NOT respawning). You don't have to spawn in an afterlife; you can also just spawn in your DR or wherever you want. There are no limits. You can also say you want to leave the 3D, also known as entering the void. Completely possible.

2. You spawn in an afterlife. Do not worry about stuff you don't want there. I'll talk more about this point later, but when you don't want specific creatures or circumstances there, they will not be there.

But what kinds of afterlives can you spawn in? The most common in this reality are religious ones (only when you are religious, so you won't be there unintended) or the astral plane (I do know that it is more complex, but that's it - the astral plane is just a bigger afterlife, nothing more).

Besides these two options, you can always choose anything else. You just want to be in a pretty paradise? You'll be there. You want certain circumstances removed from things you already know, for example, "heaven-hell," but everyone is super nice, of course, you can have it! There are no limits.

What Is There

But what is there now? A lot. Whatever you want. The most popular things here are probably gods, demons, angels, dragons, and spirits. But none of these creatures are something to worry about. Remember when I said, "as we know, negative things like anger, worries, doubts, fear, pain, jealousy, and all these things are not natural." This also applies there. No species is naturally evil or negative. No demon is naturally evil or negative. When I, for example, talk about gods, I like to use this example: They are just a species, like dogs and bees are animals. Very different but still the same in the root.

So yes, of course, a demon and a human are very different, but they are just species, like gods, like angels, like unicorns. Nothing special at all. Totally equal. If you want them to be evil (NOT assuming, genuinely wanting), they are. If you don't want it, they won't. That is a very easy rule for everything. You want heaven but only with Greek gods? This is exactly as valid and totally equal to everything else. An afterlife is as customizable as the reality itself, that means 100%. You don't have to plan everything in great detail; let it surprise you. There will never ever be something you don't want around.

iv. Past Lives

Let's have a last talk about past lives. Will you remember them? What can you find out? What if there's something you don't want? What if you are a completely different person? That is really, really easy to answer: you don’t have a specific "past life."

Reality is 100% customizable. Past, present, future. You control it all. There is simply no truth, no beginning, no ending in the multiverse.

It is exactly the same as having a comfort version of your identity. Yes, there can be something you like the most or feel the most connected to, but it is still never the "truth" because no ultimate truth exists.

Or let's put it the other way: EVERYTHING is the truth. If you want your past life to be in Hogwarts, it is TRUE, 100%. If you spawn in an afterlife and want to remember every single one of your "past lives," then you'll remember your life in Hogwarts.

You can fully customize your past, even this one. For example, you want to remember this life differently, certain things, everything, no matter what. And you spawn in the afterlife, or you shift, or whatever you want to, then you'll exactly remember that version of this life that you want to remember. This is then 100% real, 100% happened like this.

There are no limits. Absolutely none, never.

v. Outro

That was the post! I hope you liked it and it cleared up some worries and misconceptions. Remember two things from here:

1. Everything is customizable and

2. Death is never the end. Never ever.

[liampaynemysteriousdeath]

Hey, just wanted to say I and a lot of other people really appreciate the work you’re doing and follow along with everything you post, please take your time and don’t feel like no one cares! I promise we do, and we understand that your work takes time. I am looking forward to when everything becomes clearer. Sending much love, especially after today 💕💕💕💕💕

aww you're so sweet anon :) ♥

Oh wow that is nice to hear. I was honestly just gonna delete the blog the other day because I didn't see the point in posting stuff and talking to myself like a crazy person haha. I mean there are some people who are still around behind the scenes and have been around since the beginning shout out to them (you know who you are lol).

But in order for the case to move forward, more people have to join in doing research in any way shape or form because its not a simple case. There's definitely lots of layers to this case... worldwide in some ways, multiple people involved directly and indirectly.

Ive been burned out after doing this for hundreds of hours haha. So I'm taking slight breaks which coincidentally is good because there doesn't seem to be too much happening as far as new developments.

This is probably the calm before the storm. Does anyone know if there is an official court case # for liam down in argentina? I assume the court case will be televised.

I definitely will be doing more basic research, but as far as deep dive research, i will definitely not be doing it, unless someone steps up to help. ( See my requests post on pinned page for list of research deep dive topics). I'm on mobile a lot so its almost impossible for me to make a timeline of pics and vids of liams whole trip. As far as sleuthing on social media, I dont have any accounts and when I did try making one, Facebook said I was robot lol. So my research is limited in that capacity before it tells me I have to login haha.

A lot of the people I used to talk to behind the scenes have moved on, which they are free to do. But it is disheartening because liam had so many fans around the world. I remember back in the day when the Fandom would go HARD for the boys

plus other hacks like zayn in elevator and hotel camera recordings of the boys.

Im grateful theres a few tumblr accounts who want the truth. Glad there's other people on other platforms and discussion boards as well because each one adds to helping find the truth little by little.

Also friendly reminder to everyone please screenshot everything you wanna keep. Who knows who will find this blog and try to shut it down.

Not sure if you've seen the Diddy videos of him hiring private detective to come and harass people on social media speaking out, showing up to their house. Which I wouldnt put it past certain people to do so cough cough ya know who I'm talking about... considering she supposedly threatened some girl Years ago and found her mom's phone number and told her to stop posting stuff lol. She's ridiculous... and certain other tiktokers have been getting weird phone calls from British men supposedly. Luckily that didn't stop them from continuing to do research lol.

Speaking of, I hope liams parents can hire a private detective. I felt so bad for Geoff seeing him in that lobby video. He looked so lost and confused. But you can tell he is smart because he was looking around at lobby to see all the "damage" in the lobby that liam has supposedly caused. Nothing was broken, he and Paul knew something was up.

I hope any of this information is helpful to authorities and/or fans/researchers/etc. Not sure if British investigators are still in Argentina. 1ds reddit mentioned a team was sent over to aid in investigation, although i have yet to hear anything conclusive come out of it. I assume nothing has been released since it's an ongoing case...

I know there's always a possibility that certain people who are against the truth can possibly hack. (No im not saying modest mgmt ever would) just in general people can hack. This link serves as an example. for those who don't know about that blog, I definitely urge you to go over there and learn. There were some eye opening things the boys went through from over the years...

Https://stoponedirectionsmanagement.tumblr.com/post/32146809863/click-in-the-picture-to-go-to-the-tumblr

Also years ago there was a certain site I lurked on, and that site revealed there was a certain goernment agency that was lurking in the background that happened to be involved with this other celebrity indirectly. I've referenced before that a certain celebrity death years ago seems to be repeating with liams case concerning, money, llcs, and tmz. The two cases are not related, but I found it odd that they shared similarities, like for example how tmz and certain other media sites posted this person's death before they "officially died". Even timezones couldn't have accounted for it...

Also another similarity is that there were family trusts involved and shady characters around the celebrity taking advantage of the person's money and generosity as well. As well as both of the death scenes being set up by certain people around them.

I'm not gonna say the other celebrities name because that is a complicated mess. People would put me on the crazy lost if I told them what actually happened with that other celeb(s). So im gonna zip my lips on that one.

Back to research I go lol

[aromanticgarbage]

h3h3 said that joji ghosted him after he got famous, ian says they don't talk anymore too. I wonder if max was the only one he was really close with or maybe they just recently reconnected.

Ok that's a tricky topic of conversation. Read more because as always i cannot shut up.

H3h3 and iddubz don't really mean anything to me outside of their old filthy frank collabs. I actually actively dislike them. Yeah you read that right. Thats why ive tried to make the fact that i am NOT running a cancer crew blog here clear. I just hate iddubz's old solo content. Seeing him beat himself up online nowadays isn't great either but by god his old stuff is so so bad (to me). Internet drama and borderline hate speech is a recipe for disaster and if he was smarter he would have seen this coming. I understand that some people like his older stuff out of nostalgia but i am not affected by this. I was not into YouTube back then. Im still not into YouTube. I only know of him and h3h3 because im obsessed with their old homie. My perspective is different, these people barely mean anything to me.

Ok now, disclaimers aside. Ethan said that joji told him not to call him filthy frank when he was talking about his music and he personally interpreted that as him being embarrassed of his past. Personally its just clear to me that what joji was asking for when he was taking his first steps as a full time music artist was space. Being known as an ex youtuber can kill someones career and considering the sort of content he was making as ff it just doesn't seem weird to me that he wanted to separate the two lol. He gave countless interviews where he mentioned his old content and that he understood why people found it so hard to move on from such an iconic character but that he didn't like conflating the two. And even then, a few years later he was encouraging fans at his concerts to chant filthy frank so i cant help but feel like Ethan's assumption that he is embarrassed and trying to forget it ever happened is baseless and biased. And after that....well. Its pretty clear to me that h3h3 used to be enjoyed by people but its had a pretty obvious dowfall since then. Idc about Ethan's drama (or the man himself for that matter) but to be completely honest i wouldn't keep in contact with him either. Idk if you are one of those people who still enjoy his podcast but to me and to many others it just seems bad. Real bad. A lot of drama and too little substance.

Now Ian...Ian is definitely less clear to me as an outside observer. I may not like ~the old iddubz~ but joji obviously didn't have a problem with him. They always seemed to get along pretty well on all the behind the scenes and going through the cake trilogy together probably means that they developed something similar to a warriors bond. He was fun on their collabs. But alas, sometimes people who used to be close just stop keeping in touch. A lot of Joji's old college friends (pookie/david, the shaman/lewys, wheelz/tyrell) are no longer in contact with him and yet they all speak of him very highly. People online like to act like he somehow ""betrays his roots"" by not keeping up with people he collaborated with on youtube back in the day but youtube isn't his roots lmao. His high school and middle school japan friends have always clearly been very important to him and he never fell out off touch with them. He is often touring alongside Rei Brown and he has mentioned in interviews that he relies on these friendships on his day to day life (admittedly the interview im talking about was from 2018 but there's no reason to assume that he has suddenly stopped talking to people that he has been friends with since he was like 12 years old). At the end of the day he doesn't owe people online to keep in contact with anyone. People grow up and change and not all relationships survive the test of time. And thats okay. Stuff happens, people move on. For what its worth tho, i feel like iddubz's drama driven channel (because lets be fair the content cops were his biggest thing and they were youtube drama no matter how self righteous or fair they seemed at the time) didn't help. The thing about joji is that he had always avoided internet drama like it was the plague, which is once again one of those things that i appreciate deeply about him. I hate internet drama. But even my kinda biased opinion aside, the reality of the situation is probably very simple. They are both grown adults who live very different lives. They hanged out together during a few summers a lot of years ago. They followed different paths in life. It happens. Joji has been very offline for years now and i get the impression that he tends to isolate himself when his health acts up so its probably not that hard to fall out of touch with him.

And last but not least....Max. I won't lie, out of the cancer crew the only other person i actually like besides my man Joji is Max. Maybe he really was closer with Max, i certainly find him more likable. Around 2018 both Joji on twitter and Max on that one cold ones podcast episode said that they still keep in touch. Max was replying to a lot of Joji's tweets up untill the nectar era but once again, at the end of the day they live in different countries. I obviously have no way of knowing if they were still as close as they used to in the following years. Maybe they grew more distant for a while, maybe they reconnected around 2023 when joji took chad and max backstage at his concert, and then of course the wedding !! Its all very sweet, the gimme love Max and Chad video from the concert lowkey made me tear up.

But once again, at the end of the day they are all living their own lives, doing their own thing. And people who act like they owe it to them to be each others everything forever and ever because they met online a decade ago and collaborated on some extremely iconic videos make me laugh.

[glitchbirds]

i still really dont want to say much rn when im still in relative limbo and things are still up in the air, but because i have been internally buzzing about it for a few days-

last week i had a job interview for an internship at a place i have Badly wanted to work at for almost a year (and in fact it was a primary force behind me finally learning to drive last year and getting my license a couple months back), and not only did the interview go well it went Ridiculously well. we talked for well over an hour and most of it was just genuine conversation about her experiences and mine, and her recommending me books and archives on topics related to the internship that i'd expressed strong interest in (most of which were written by her friends/colleagues in the field- i also brought up a few things id already read and she talked about knowing their authors in the 80s/90s and anecdotes about them), and ive been pouring over and marveling at these the past few days...

idkkkk its just crazy. on dec 31st i was a bit morose about the fact that while id made a Lot of personal progress in 2023 i still hadnt seemed to get any closer to this goal; then this internship opened up days later, i applied asap, and now im practically guaranteed a slot, and while its still unpaid labor the interviewer was like... "i cant 100% guarantee you a job after this internship is over (understandable because the internship itself isnt designed that way and she hasnt seen my performance yet), but Hypothetically would you be interested, would you be willing to move closer to cut down on the commute and if so when would you be able to move, if you cant move any time soon that would be ok because some of our staff commute the same distance and its not ideal but works out for them," and that combined with the Glowingly Positive(?!) things she had to say about me and my related experience and my answers during the interview and etc its like.... im going to survive i think. im going to make it out of this pit ive been living in the past few years

like the worst case scenario right now would be her getting back to me in a week and saying whoops! nevermind we dont have any slots open / we decided we hate your vibes. but the former is unlikely because i applied to Both internships, and Both internships have a spring and summer version, and they usually only have lots of applicants in the summer (and thus plenty of room in the spring, which i indicated as my preference). and the latter is unlikely because. frankly i genuinely didnt think it was possible for a job interview to go as well as that one did. especially not an interview Wherein I Am The Subject Under Observation.

[s0m3b0dy2u]

this is a vent

feel free to ignore

so, a few weeks ago i told a few friends of mine that i couldn't be friends anymore for the sake of my mental health

(this is the one thats relevant rn):

a little bit of context: this girl (we'll call her a for now) was one of my irl friends. i moved up here around 4 years ago, and she was one of my first friends. we didnt talk a lot, but we had a kind of mutual respect for each other, id like to believe. the next year or wtv though we were fighting constantly, and (slight TW)(i dont remember if she told me to kms or if she threatened to kill herself but something like that happened). after that we didnt talk for god knows how long and then we were friends again. we were decent friends until last year, when a certain other girl (lets call her a-) moved up here and instantly integrated into the friend group. the 3 of us as well as another person (j) were like best friends... except not really. i started dating a- and it all went downhill from here. around a- and j i felt totally invisible, and a was the only one that didnt make me feel like that. i voiced my concerns to a. thennnn some fucking shit happened. a- got with j and then broke up with me, i did some things that i was never and wont ever be proud of (they said i was using my mental healthy as an excuse and it was never an excuse, what i did and what i said was so shitty but yk wtv), shit talking each other back and forth etc. at the time j was dating my best friend (t) but they were together for like years i think but j was super toxic and then they broke up one day, j called t the n-word (hard r) and a- also called t a slur

slight TW:

(we're getting off topic now)

anyway, a continued being best friends with a- and then i started feeling invisible around that whole fg

i was constantly being left out, ex:

a and their friends went to the mall together when i not even weeks before proposed the idea, this kinda shit continued for nearly a year i think (it at least feels that long anyway)

they became close friends with a girl who used to be one of my best friends (m) and m was like "oh, we should hang out" (to me) but was always apparently too busy hanging out with a and a- or whatever

whenever a- was in the room i was literally invisible and i got sick of it

a and m only ever talked to me when it was convenient for them or it was just me and one of them in any given room

id already addressed this issue in the past and they didnt listen

this hurt me

i told them politely i couldnt be their friend rn for the sake of my mental health

i valued their friendship more than anything

but now im "playing the victim" and im toxic and im the asshole for genuinely putting myself first and trying to fucking heal

plus it was a personal boundary, i just cant be friends with anyone thats friends with a-

because when she's around it always goes back to there being drama

we were fine before she moved here

but now ive lost countless friends and my mental health is sinking farther with each day and i just wanna kms but i cant, theres so many reasons why i cant

and, were in highschool, word travels, of course it does

i heard that a brought up something

specifically:

at least im pretty sure this is what they were referencing

(also, this, idk if this is related tho?)

anyway

either a blew it out of proportion, or the story got blown out of proportion as it passed from ear to ear but the version i heard is not what fucking happened at all

ill be honest, the girl the person was talking about i had a crush on

i was on vc with that person when this went down

ill say, ive always been super hypersexual, i feel like thats safe to say

up until this point, my thoughts about my crush were always super respectful, to the point where i felt guilty even being in her presence like as a bystander like shes so worth the world and ill just hurt her by being around type shit

when we were having that conversation i legitimately wasnt thinking about anything, just the thought of thinking bout her that way had me red

when i tell you those were the tamest "sexual" intrusive thoughts i ever had

and i still felt so guilty

like i thought about making out with her and her kissing my neck and that was it

and i was so ashamed, im still ashamed, im not proud of myself at all i feel so small and "oh youre playing the victim again" literally gfys

theres nothing i hate more than feeling so pathetic, so why would i make myself the victim?

she (a) also said (on multiple occasions) that i didnt like several ppl in that group which is blatantly false. i never really disliked any of them (save a- and j, and now a too probably but even now saying i dislike her is too strong for what i feel)

on top of that she said im toxic which she knows is literally my biggest fear

like yeah ik im the asshole, im always in the wrong im so toxic because everyones always told me that

and to think once i felt better i was gonna try and tell her where i was coming from and why i cut her off, since i really valued her friendship

i know, though, that i dont need her around if shes gonna act like that, even if its to make herself feel better or to win the approval of others

anyway at least i got to go home early today because i had a mental breakdown about this ..・ヾ(。＞＜)シ

whats even worse is i cant talk to any of my friends about this bcs t is dear friends with a and my other friends literally would not care

if youre reading this, i love you (/p) have a great morning, day, afternoon, evening, or night

[the-ginger-is-loose-again]

Ive been thinking about this for a couple of days now, but I made the mistake of looking in the comments section of one of my favorite podcasts's episodes in spotify (Last Podcast on the Left)

The episode in question (Side Stories: Squirrel Stories) was recorded the day before election day and posted the day after, so they discussed the election and it was rather heartbreaking that they were pretty unconcerned because they were so confident that Kamala was going to win. At one point, they spend some time shit talking trump and right wingers, which is pretty par for the course for them

The comments were about 50/50. On one hand, right wingers crying that everyone was so mean to them and how lptol needed to stay out of politics and the other was normal people going "have you ever heard an episode of lpotl before? It's always been political, and always anti nazis" (I'll admit the earliest episodes are a little meh because they are three dudes living in New York in 2011 and like fresh off of 4-chan, but they, for the most, part learn and grow and are really good with the sensitive topics nowadays, not making fun of victums, knowing where in an episode is the time for jokes and where is the time for seriousness, while still being dudes fucking around and having fun doing their podcast together)

My comment is probably not going to pass review, but basically, it was so insane to me that all these guys were just openly showing how little they cared for the show or paid attention to it at all and obviously just liked the edgy impolite aesthetic and they got their wittle fascist fweewings hurt that the show that famously takes pleasure in shit talking right wing criminal dickbags is shit talking their right wing criminal dickbag leader

They literally dropped their The Manhatten Project series over 4th of July in which they talked about how the american people were dragged kicking and screaming into rationing (it wasnt as easy and selfless as it is portrayed now, it wasnt done volunterrily) and every horrific thing that the atomic bombs and later scientists did to the people of Japan and how unnecessary it all was and about the riots and mass rapes that happened IN SAN FRANCISCO on VJ Day (basically all the soldiers who found out they didn't have to go to war because Japan had surrendered went on a massive bender and the police were told not to stop them the first day or so because it was all in good fun, yea it's why they don't talk about vj day a lot and only show us the kissing in NYC photo from V day). Like, if these maga dudes in the comments were correct that lptol was apolitical that series would have been like every other history channel circle jerk about America's Greatness in the war

A handful also called for the return of the host Ben, who had worked on Fox News and had always been the most right leaning of them, but he was removed from the whole network he helped found because it came out he had been abusive to girlfriends for years (a terrifying thing considering he is 6'7") and his alcoholism was so bad he couldn't even function in the last few episodes he was in. It is amazing listening to say the John Wayne Gacy episode then skipping to the Manhattan project, the difference is insane, Henry keeps joking about long pauses and him bringing up stuff theyve already passed and you can tell he is just trying so hard to keep the episode flowing well and bolstering Ben where he can. He always presented as mild mannered and a funny drunk and a gentle giant, until he didn't, and past girlfriends started coming out with the shit he said to them, and you're just like "oh wow, where have I heard this before? Oh, every other right leaning asshole ever?" And don't get me wrong, he was honestly my favorite host at some points, but I am also an adult capable of critical thinking and realizing what he has done doesn't diminish the joy the show has brought me in the past and that his removal was the best thing they could have done so that we can continue enjoying the show going forward. (I also don't need to know every sordid detail of it all, he did what he did, they did what they did, I don't need specifics or more information because I don't actually know any of these people personally, it's not my business if it's not part of their actual business and shows, which a lot of people don't seem to get)

I have always liked that the show goes out of its way to show that serial killers and murderers and cults and all of that come from every political ideology there is, but they also acknowledge how dangerous right wing and conservative ideology is, which has only gotten stronger as a sentiment since Ben left (either as a reaction or because he isnt there to refute it or necause they dont have to be nice as noone in the room is right leaning anymore idk), and anyone who says they need to "stay out of politics" should know they are either advertising how stupid they are or should learn that they aren't going to be able to bully the network into catering to them.

Anyways I'm going to the show in Atlanta in January as a happy birthday to myself, I'm so glad they finally have another southern show, I haven't gotten to see them since they did Charelston in 2021 and it was already the highlight of my decade, so fucking ready, hail gein, hail Satan, love you fuckers

[khaire-traveler]

you get enough asks of people with similar questions and i told myself i wouldn’t add to the list, but i’m rly struggling rn.

i’ve been an active hellenistic polytheist for 3 years now, and an apollo worshiper for around 2.

yet, i haven’t really felt a connection to apollo for a year now. anytime i pray to him, it feels hollow.

i know that the advice people typically give is to move on, but i feel like then it’d be a waste. its quite terrible of me to say, but ive spent so much money and time setting up such a dedicated altar just for it to collect dust.

any ideas or advice? no worries if not. have a lovely day my friend :]

Hey, Max, thank you for the ask! I apologize for the delay.

So, I originally wrote a whole ass post that had paragraphs of information, suggestions, and advice, but Tumblr hates me and decided to just crash and not save literally any of it. 🙃 I'm hoping I can give you good information regardless of this setback. Also, please don't feel bad about asking questions; I honestly enjoy it, especially since some information can be hard to come by. All my information is merely advice and suggestions based on my own experience, but I hope it's helpful to you - and maybe even others - regardless.

The first thing I'll do is share some links that could be helpful for you. This one talks a bit about Deity Disconnect™ - something that I feel I can safely say has happened to every pagan and polytheist. Sometimes faith and spirituality come in waves, ebbing in and out as naturally as the ocean, but it doesn't always mean that a deity has left us. If you'd like to try reconnecting with Apollo through bonding activities and the like, this link and that link both lead to posts that mention some ways you can bond with a deity. Although I'm not sure if any of these will be helpful to you, I hope that they are. 🧡

I feel it's also important to mention that many devotees of Apollo find it difficult to connect with him during the winter. For me, I feel the feeling of disconnect begin as early as the middle of Fall and stay as late as the very beginning of Spring. Many attribute this to the myth of Apollo leaving for Hyperborea and leaving his seat in Delphi for Dionysus to temporarily take over. If you've been trying to reconnect during Winter, or even potentially Fall, the disconnect from Apollo may feel even stronger than usual because of this. I would wait to readdress this issue with him until Spring rolls around, personally, just in case this disconnect could be contributing to your problem at all.

Along with all that, I'm inclined to ask whether you've addressed this topic with him directly. Have you been able to communicate with Apollo directly about this and get his thoughts? In my experience, deities will typically let you know if they're stepping away, rather than yoinking away super suddenly and without a given cause (or at the very least, they are more than willing to provide a reason if you ask them); this tends to be especially true when it comes to deities you've been very close with in the past. If you haven't already, I'd highly encourage you to speak with Apollo in a format that allows him to provide a response to your questions, such as divination or meditation.

I do also have to say that sometimes deities leave but return later. It's entirely possible he is simply taking a break or stepping away temporarily. Maybe he feels you need to focus on other deities more at this time or he has simply taught all he can (or all that's relevant) at the moment. He could return full force later on in your life, be it a few days from now or a few years. This is something I'd ask him about specifically in order to clarify his intentions.

Ok, but what if he really is leaving and doing so in a more permanent fashion? Well, in that case, I encourage you to do whatever feels right for you. Take down his altar, or leave it up; it's entirely your choice. Even when deities leave our lives, they never truly leave, and most of the time, if we need a deity's help, we are still welcome to call upon their aid, even if they've "left". It's also possible that he is still ok with you worshipping or venerating him, even if he does choose to step away. There are some deities that I mostly just venerate but don't do much else past that, and that's perfectly ok. Sometimes it just feels nice to acknowledge a deity and show them appreciation, even if you're not particularly close to them. These are all things you need to have a direct conversation with Apollo about, however, as I cannot speak for him or what he is comfortable with.

Although it can feel like a waste of time, energy, and hell even money, please do remember that it is never truly a waste if your relationship to Apollo meant something - and still means something - to you. You put genuine time, love, and care into the altar you created, and regardless of what happens going forward, I'm sure he still appreciates that. It's important to know that when a deity feels the need to step away, it's not because they stop caring for you or the time you've spent together; they simply feel it's in your best interest for them to be more distant for the time being, but regardless, they are still there. They are still present in the world and life around you. Apollo can still be felt in the warmth of the sun on your skin and the rush of excitement you feel when the beat of music reverberates in your chest. He is still near, even if he feels far. He is still there, even if he feels absent. These are not things you're required to focus on or even acknowledge, however, if it makes you uncomfortable or you'd rather terminate your relationship with Apollo. I just figure it may be comforting to hear.

If the following doesn't apply to you at all or you simply disagree with my perspective, please feel free to completely disregard all this; it's heavily based on my own personal experience and beliefs. Do you work with Apollo or worship him? I know it sounds rather silly and somewhat ridiculous to ask, but I have personally noticed a significant change in my deity relationships when I focused more on worship than work. I have noticed that, a lot of times, deity work can end in that deity eventually departing because the things you're working on can eventually be resolved or improved enough that you no longer need them. To me, personally, deity worship often has a more permanent meaning, although that obviously doesn't ring true for everyone. If you were doing deity work with Apollo, it's entirely possible that he feels he's helped you the best he can with whatever you originally reached out about and has decided that you no longer need his assistance or guidance. If that's the case (which it obviously could not be), then you can absolutely ask him if he's comfortable switching your relationship to something that is more long-term worship based rather than short-term "please assist me with this specific thing" based. And since I'm sure someone will mention it, I do want to acknowledge that there is nuance in every type of deity relationship, and you can absolutely have a long-term "deity work" based relationship and a short-term "deity worship" based relationship. There are exceptions to everything, and everything contains nuance and complexity. I don't want to discount either of those things; this is just me sharing something based on my personal understanding, and no one has to take me at face-value.

Anyway, I hope I was able to answer your question and give you some suggestions or advice that helps. Regardless, I hope you're able to figure this situation out and that Apollo can address you more directly about it. I wish you the best on your spiritual journey. Take care, and have a good day/night. 🧡

[docilepillow]

2024 February Media Post Thingy : Featuring Movies Also

I've never really liked doing editing " do-overs". i think if this was like a normal year with no leaping ( As of starting this post a couple of minutes ago ( 4:51 PM ) , i only just learned that this year was a leap year? Just goes to show how little i pay attention..! But yea, on topic, on topic, i don't look back to edit these kind of thought pieces after i write them, it'd feel odd to do so, ,and january's post was a mile and a half to write , so, after finishing the Big Thing for this year, i'm starting the writing on this on the 28th so i dont have to finish it all in one sitting this time. I'm not sure when i'll drop or pick up on it, and its not like, done Live with the month, so the actual timeline of things won't be completely perfectly accurate, but anyways : the things covered here are in rough sequencial order, mostly focused around New Media i've tried this month, with an added blurb about anything ive revisited this year at the very end. I'll try to add a blurb about everything, but no guarentees. Also, i said i'd have more screenshots to share, but i forgot again. A significant number of games here were also on 3ds which i have no good way to get screenshots for. planning is hard This month was heavily characterized by the absolutely wonderful time i had for my birthday and the days surrounding it, because wow, am i in love with my boyfriend! after many, many months spent long distance, i'm extremely glad to say that the first few days of this month were absolutely heavenly, and i do absolutely "get" all the lovey dovey emotional stuff that surrounds it. While he was over, we got to watch a whole bunch of different movies and such, and most of the video game focus was directed towards one big game, being God Of War Ragnarok, which is an absolute behemoth of a triple a game and also one aattached to the very sentimental god of war that i've also shared with him in the past ( they're some of his favorite games of all time, and he's especially knowledge on Norse stuff, so it's cute to listen to him ramble about it whenever actual mythology stuff comes up. Its absolutely adorable the way his voice lights up..! ) So, you'd expect the first piece of media i got through this month would be God of War Ragnarok, after all the time i've spent hyping it up already, while it's still fresh in my mind as of typing, And i'm on a massive, sentimental tangent on it, But...! TRUMP VS ILLUMINATI < Least Romantic Movie I've Personally Made Out With Someone Over >

theres not all that much to say on this movie as the title'd show, actually, and, obviously, the movie's a complete joke, through and through ( the titular protagonist isn't even the real deal, he's just a clone of the guy who lives on mars for whatever reason as the last human alive (?) ); and it's so ameturishly put together that i'm almost certain the entire scripting process of it was put together by looking at the title of the movie and quipping in a discord call brainstorming for a couple of hours, but it's absolutely great for virgining couples beccause you'll want to watch the movie for a bit, a bit that's been going on for i want to say little over three quarters of a year, but then, when you actually get to watching, it, you'lll both decide unilaterally to make out sloppy style instead of watching the movie, wow!

by the way, most of the movie is just weird little stock models talking at each other for what i rememeber being 50 or so minutes. i dont tihnk this is a good movie buut i thought itd be funny to bring up because in a shirtless daze after watching it i had the mortifying realization that this shitty movie was gonna be on the top of my media diary if i chose to go through with it . so here it is ! ! ! CATS & DOGS < tulpa movie >

idk what to blurb about this movie i think its entertainment value comes from the varied" WHAT DOES THIS IMPLYYY " moments in the movie and how like

excessively silly it is im not sure if it was this movie in particular but i have a very specific anecdote of this movie as a child before my parents divorce where i was actually Forced to watch it for some reason with my dad and with an anecdote like that the only thing i can think to say about it is that i think i actually enjoyed it more then Wonka theres some puppetry with the cat villain in this movie thats actually pretty endearing actually. its a decently entertaining spy movie. DOCTOR STRANGE

not having a title for this one isnt like reverence or anything i still watched this with my boyfriend in our little place and it was very enjoyable, and, in particualr, this was actually the first movie i watched of this list that i actually wanted to seek out to watch, actually! i've never been an mcu guy ( And, if you expect my movie reviews to professionalize, with like, research on the actors anything, you're dead wrong, i think , also. i think when it comes to assosiating characters with their actors or whatever celebrity or director or whatever, i just. .dont do that. i can see why normal people do but i dont have that built into me. so if i refer to a character it'll be for their character. ) i think this is a good movie i think this is a neat movie i think this a very pretty movie and i like mister stranges arch alot and i think it was really well characterized and enjoyable and id watch this movie again sometime maybe. im not a live action head but i think this movie just looks cool and is well presented in general. i think as an asshole mister strange is very watchable which is unusal for me cus i wince whenever characters do a thing thats like regrettable like noooo dont do that like an autistic weirdo but that wasnt really a problem with me for this movie i think its cool how this prick gets grounded by the fantastical shit in the movie and i think his little mini arch over the movie really stands out as a good character piece. thats all i have to say about it as someone who doesnt super hero movie this movie movies really good and stands on its own. i think its cool. i think this is a very enjoyable movie. i think people should watch it if theyre on the fence on it beingg mcu bc i dont think its like thoose other movies at all. im repeating myself. w/e Alot of early febuaary is characterized by movies bc i want to make it clear that the main game i played in that arch of time was God of War, and there were very much Not Media things that were more pressing for my time. lol VIDEO GAMES!!!! VIDEOVERSE < Most Heartwarming Eboy Game >

the docism i picked for this game sounds demeaning but thhis game is absolutely worth i think everyones time and if theres a game from febuary i'd make as a general reccomendation to my friends, it'd be this one, i think! it's an absolutely heartwarming narrative about an early 2000s era internet community that's being shut down, and its very resonant to at least Me, as a wii u / 3ds era fan

though it kinda melds that kinda stuff with a more early internet aestetic , which i think the combo works Really Well in terms of like vibe alone. the game is very naked with how it presents an early internet community and id describe it as being like hypnospace outlaw but without you the player being in the seat of like an internet moderator. Like you can moderate in the game a little bit but it's much less of a focus compared to the being in a game community with your friend aspect

this games a very well executed narrative about this emmet guy ( in the image above this one, he's on the far left of the screen ) and playing it as the first non GOW game of the week was definitely a choice i made that made me kinda sappy and clingy ( since its very much about the internet anxiety of losing a bunch of friends you care about due to dumb internet social media crap, which feels pretty well timed with this whole tumblr drama going on. also, as someone in a long distance relationship, the romance thing in this game also is pretty relatable in parts )

idk! its a very short game. i played it on deck and it was a very short but sweet pair of game sessions. i think if u like what you see here i reccomend giving it a shot if you're looking for a visual novel . ithink it is cute. if you like cute things this game is for Cute PRINCESS REMEDY IN A WORLD OF HURT < cute em' up where nobody has to die ! >

i actually falsely appraised this as gameboy color style when its supposed to be dos evokative. i knew i was missing something.

this is a free top down shmup game from steam about a cute healer girl! the game has really cute writing and is about an hour long. i think the writing makes it worth giving a try if you have an afternoon! the final boss is litearlly a guy with Every Disease that also has a refrence to ff6, so me being charmed by this game was kind of a given. Oops! I think more people should look at this game! it's worth it !

also, since everyone in the world of hurt has some kind of injury for you to remedy, some of the ones that get picked out are pretty amusing, also. its usually structured around " heres the problem with me " dialogue and " thank goodness im better " dialogue. this game is also for the gays because u can marry whoever you want after the credits. Yay! SUPER MONKEY BALL 3D < worst game icon ive ever seen for a video game award >

the games just kind of mediocre and the only reason i downloaded it is bc it was on 3ds and i just want to point out the games icon is Just a low resolution picture of ai ais face on a white bg. i think thats funny but the games so easy that thats pretty much the only novelty you'll extract of it if youre a monkey ball fan. oops .

something like this ive spent longer trying to find this games home menu icon then thinking about the game after playing it sorry i dodnt think this game is worth that just kind of sad

MEGAMAN XTREME

no reverence for this either pretty much all the games thatre gonna be talked about thatre on 3ds were just me looking through hshop slightly interested in something to do while waiting for my bf to wake up for more gow

all i can really say is that this game is a gameboy demake of the x games thats just slightly worse and going in with that expectation is correct but also its just Really annoying sometimes is very much a game where the levels are short and easy and the boss fights are kind of choppily designed and difficult and i think finishing this game was kind of more of an act of stubbornness then anything. theres this one boss second to last from sigma thats just killing this boss that spams 4 nearly undodgable spammy fast projectiles while you're on two tiny platforms over death spikes and i think that kind of speaks for how much id reccomend this ( not at all ) i think this is the angriest ive been at a game in a bit actually remembering it . i think i said a funny misnomer about it but i dont remember. something about this contributing to why mega man fucking died or something. im realizing i didnt actually consume alot of good media this month took a break writing this on leap day and umm FIRE EMBLEM WARRIORS ( The 3ds version ) < POPCORN VIDEO GAME >

as someone whose never played a dynasty warriors type game this was actually a little less boring then i was expecting it ? you'd assume picking the switch or wii u version would be more ideal, but, as someone whose favorite console is the 3ds , and considering it'd take less time to download to my system, i ended up picking this version. it actually runs pretty well and my only real complaint is that the character i wanted to play as is thuroughly stuck into the post game ( Celica from FE echoes ).

functionally this is kind of just a game that exists to be a stim device while you're in like a voice call or something but at that its pretty good from what ive played. used minerva for most of it and it wasnt too hard but not especially annoying either. its okay. i never got to unlock celica though ( bummed out ) and its not bad at all for somemthing i pretty much only played to pass the time between when my BF was awake to watch me play god of war, which it succeeded at. ive played every FE naturally available on the 3ds. TOM AND JERRY WILL WONKA & THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY

huh what happened howd this happen

guh MARIO MAKER 3DS

game i actually owned legitimately that i forgot i did. technically since the games are going down in a month from now this is my way on reminicing on Maker in general , but i mostly just reflected back on itt as a cute wii u memory and that cute packet that comes boxed with the game. the 100 or so challenge levels in this are neat but not Especially special. kind of existed to pad out the games i've tried and finished this year so far to an even 15. its not bad or anything, it did remind me of a few interactions i didnt know about before. maybe sometime before maker 2 goes down ill finish making that super world i started on when the game was new... putting all my thoughts togetherrrrr GOD OF WAR RAGNAROK

Igod of war ragnarok is pretty cool. for context, im pretty sure the first game of the i wanna say ps4 " duo " of norse GOW games are the two video games that both started me on my ps4 journey recently and got me and my boyfriend together? which i think is very sweet its also very unexpected cus other then being a soft mythology nut i dont see how id get into these kinds of games naturally, considering i'm less genre savvy when it comes to i guess " modern-style " story focused 3d adventures. Considering i'm a nintendo head, these could count as some of the only super duper gamerhead games i've ever played? though i don't know if it means anything when i say that . i think this game definitely needs the groundwork of the first gow to stand up, but, thats not a bad thing, its a very well thought out start to end NARRATIVE, and its a really good one at that. lots of well thought out character interactions and setpieces,a friend of mine described it as a universal ride-style game , and , in terms of linearity, it kind of IS that, but in like the most postive way i can think of in terms of the kinds of games i play , this is probably the drop-dead most prettiest game i've ever looked at from start to finish ( When it comes to detail and realism, i mean. .i think its very pretty to just look at the environments n stuff ) god of war ragnarok is pretty cool. for context, im pretty sure the first game of the i wanna say ps4 " duo " of norse GOW games are the two video games that both started me on my ps4 journey recently and got me and my boyfriend together? which i think is very sweet its also very unexpected cus other then being a soft mythology nut i dont see how id get into these kinds of games naturally, considering i'm less genre savvy when it comes to i guess " modern-style " story focused 3d adventures. Considering i'm a nintendo head, these could count as some of the only super duper gamerhead games i've ever played? though i don't know if it means anything when i say that . i think this game definitely needs the groundwork of the first gow to stand up, but, thats not a bad thing, its a very well thought out start to end NARRATIVE, and its a really good one at that. lots of well thought out character interactions and setpieces,a friend of mine described it as a universal ride-style game , and , in terms of linearity, it kind of IS that, but in like the most postive way i can think of in terms of the kinds of games i play , this is probably the drop-dead most prettiest game i've ever looked at from start to finish ( When it comes to detail and realism, i mean. .i think its very pretty to just look at the environments n stuff ) ( I have screenshots of the game on my ps4, but as i'm a day late to uploading this in the first place, i'm too lazy to both fetch them with my capture card and upload them to an image sharing site, so here's a picture of Jalla, a cute cow critter you get to ride in the game thaat made me very happy . )

I've heard of games that take up entire segments of people's lives for months , and while i've played lots of " longer " games, gow despite being shorter then something like SMT 4 is definitely one of the first games i've played thats been defined like that to me. i dont wanna say too much on the plot because i think these games are worth playing back to back on their own merits, though for me the experience definitely was raised above by , you know, sharing it with the love of my life, haha. its very cute to listen to someone visibly light up when talking about a game and its definitely my boyfriends infectiousness for the game that motivated me to keep coming back to it and dig for all the little details, even if i play 3d games like this like a game's journalist.... but yea god of war is really good i dont want to spoil anything on it but even if you haavent played the past games but have a ps4 and an appreciation for storytelling, i'd definitely reccomend it. Surprisingly cozy, heartfelt story on parenting and war and lingering regret n junk. also i like mimir alot hes silly and brok theres alot of characters in this i like alot

if you know you know TERMINATOR 2

oh yea i watched terminator 2 also very gripping very cool top moms in media for sure i can see why this is a classic movie it abosluely rocks and i was technically present for the voice call where they watched the first movie but i wasnt paying attention to it at all whoops thats technically the last of the new media i did but i also tried out a pokemon X nuzlocke and i replayed king of cards which was really fun and i remembered how much i liked madam meeber

the nuzlocke was a disaster but i actually did do it so winner

im sure there was other stuff too but im tired of typing and i forgot CLICKING SEND!!!!!

[ornii]

In case your requests r open, could I ask for a Robin & platonic male reader insert? Like Robin maybe acting as a big sister figure to reader who is coming to terms with being gay and its all comfy and cute . No pressure though!!

Robin being my second favorite character (#1 goes to Steve “The Hair” Harrington of course) I’d love to do this one. Sorry if it’s too short!

Like They Do in Movies

Robin Buckley X Platonic Male Reader

Summary: Robin offers some, questionable, advice to the reader after discovering their sexual orientation.

I guess I have to put this warning:

Stranger things takes place in the 80s, a time where being Gay or Lesbian was something to be hidden and kept secret due to the underlying consequences of said lifestyle, so there will be acts of said prejudice in this story, so if you find that uncomfortable I recommend not reading, thank you.

Robin Buckely, she was the last person you’d think would give you relationship advice. You’ve seen her talk to boys in the past, especially working at Scoops Ahoy last year but she always seems so disinterested in conversations with them. Until a man by the name Steve Harrington came into her life. After that, she seemed to really blossom as a person, instead of being so sarcastic and dismissive, she bloomed into this inquisitive and adorable band nerd. After Star Court came to a burning conclusion, she and Steve found a job at the local movie rental, and thus lead to how you came across her.

One day you were returning a VHS of “Sixteen candles” you rented because a girl wanted to see it so badly for a “Date.” It was morso just her complaining and you feeling this awkward disconnect from her. Regardless, the date was a disaster and you returned the movie, you two began small banter about movies and nerd stuff, being fellow band members had its perks. After the topic switched to school, you went to a small Spiel about this certain someone at school, Robin seemed less intrigued about other peoples love lives, until you let it slip that they were on the Boys swim team. That small tidbit of information lead Robin to the same conclusion. It was dead awkward silence for a few moments. Well, it seems you two have more in common than you think. You both were in Band, total nerds, and Did not find much attraction to the opposite gender.

Your mind begins to wonder with the possible consequences about your slip up, but Robin just smiled. The first thing that she did was immediately critique your choice of guy for being “Too Much of a Water head, you know like a meat head but more aquatic and wet.” A Joke to ease the tension, wonder where she learned that from. She was so reassuring, so caring and understanding. She accepted you for you, since she knows how it feels. Robin offered to help you understand just how; off you felt. so you made stops to the movie rental even when you didn’t even feel like watching anything. One day you enter the Rental spot and see her typing up some name. Scooting over you lean on the counter.

“So.. how’s it going?” You say, smirking.

“Boring, mostly..” she says and her eyes trail over to meet your smile. “Tell me Yours has had at least sold entertainment.” She stops typing and turns to face you and you tap on the counter.

“Okay, so…about the Guy.” You begin, building up the courage to blurt it out.

“I wanna ask him out, but… I think he might be—“ you begin and Robin leans in, gleaming.

“That’s great, I mean he might not be, into you but that’s okay! There’s like statistically 8 billion people in the world, you’ll find someone who loves cheesy movies and an absurd amount of cheese on your burger like you do.” Robin says.

“.. I meant that he might not see it as a date, he’s a little, Dense.” You admit, Robin shakes her head and puts her hands on yours.

“Trust me, Ive Met some, pretty dense guys, but deep down they’re good at heart.” She says, “As cheesy as that sounds it’s true.” She adds, he nods but can’t really form a smile.

“I know.. personality not looks but, what if I, what if I tell him and he.. calls me a Homo or a—“his worry shows and Robin just looks so sorry for him. The confusion and fear all swirled up and bottled into one person. She gripped his hands harder and she spoke a bit more softly.

“Hey. Don’t think Like that.” She says, his eyes lock up with hers and she keeps a soft glare. “If they treat you like that, they weren’t all the heartbreak you’re going through right now, okay?” Robin says, she pulls him in for a hug and he felt the genuine comfort and love he deserves. And for a moment he felt, wanted.

Until suddenly someone bursts in from the back, Steve.

“Hey Robin do We have a VHS of The Goonies—“ he says before stopping dead in his tracks seeing Them. The two separate and try to play it off.

“Yeah It’s in the back room, third shelf.” She says, Steve awkwardly nods and heads off. (Y/n) turns to Robin.

“Shit. Sorry..” He said, Robin shrugs it off.

“It’s okay, he knows.”

“He knows? Steve Harrington knows?” He says taken aback.

“Remember what I said? Dense.” She says, (Y/n) realizes and nods.

“Ooooooh… Yeah… Dense.” He says, Robin gives a soft pat on the back, and nods, ready to take the chance, maybe they’d fall it in love… Just like they do in movies.”

Apologies if it’s a bit short, I hope I did Robin some Justice as a fantastic representative for those struggling with being who they are. Thanks.

[1eos]

similar to that booktuber you were talking about, ive noticed that a lot of ppl have started using... inaccurate words to describe certain things? and its typically 'internet buzz words' (i hate that phrase 😔) that have gained usage in online spaces. i dont want to seem like a know-it-all but it really bugs me! a lot of these people have good intentions and i can follow their thought processes, but i can also tell theyre just repeating words or phrases they do not entirely understand... ? i would be interested in hearing that booktuber define the word 'representation' because maybe it means something different in their mind. no ones perfect, im guilty of the same thing! but some words are being used incorrectly so frequently that i feel like their connotation is beginning to change. i understand that its normal for the meaning of words to change over time, but these past few years it has felt so... accelerated? idk! what do you think?

oh i get where u're coming from 100% and its not even that ppl make mistakes/don't know what words mean its that instead of actually looking into prev discusses on these hot topics they just go 'well the word's changed now' that's not how that works. like you can't make representation synonymous with depiction in the context of diversity in media. you'd never call a racist ghetto stereotype in a raunchy comedy with nothing but white leads 'representation'. and on the flip side a book set in japan with nothing but japanese characters written by a japanese author.....representation isn't the best term bc its a narrative centered around this facet or that facet of this culture. it's not some white ensemble with a diversity hire thrown in for 'representation' idk it just cheapens intellectual discussions and boils shit down to what can be a quick tik tok video. and i dont expect ppl to know every nuance on every discussion cuz like. who has the time but if you're trying to speak as an authority on sumn u gotta know what the fuck you're talking abt!!!!!!

[multifandumbmeg]

Random update per my fics:

Sorry I haven't updated in the last few days. I usually try to write some every day, but I took a day off to plan Golden Glint and then finished the mini fic (Reckoning of Mike Carrera) I started before it because that's what I wanted to write and I wanted to finish it.

On the topic of all my in-progress fics, my writing just isn't consistent right now. I mentioned a while ago that I'm going through AO3 author's curse and would eventually expand on that, so since I'm extremely frustrated and paralyzed from being productive today I'll do that now.

Starting from winter/late fall of 2022 I got sick and basically never got better. I was having illness after illness that meds weren't solving, and my headaches just got more and more frequent until they were every day for at least three months. By the time I came home from Korea, I was having full-blown debilitating migraines every day and attacks where I would almost pass out and couldn't breathe. It took me a couple months but I got on insurance, started a new job, and managed to convince my parents to let me focus on getting my health together this year.

It's been extremely difficult and frustrating because US healthcare, but I found out I do not in fact have ANY allergies despite doctors telling me I do, literally putting me on allergy shots for a year, and telling me that was the cause of migraines, inability to breathe, and constant illness, none of which were true. I had to prove this to them by fighting to see an actual allergist and getting re-tested which costs me hundreds of dollars out of pocket, but at least the allergist was a good dude who wrote a SCATHING letter to my primary care demanding I be sent to the proper specialists for my symptoms. Several blood tests and medications later, we have whammy number two:

The hypoglycemia I was diagnosed with as a teenager was not in fact random. Instead, I have hyperthyroidism caused by Graves Disease. Except I ALSO have Hashimoto's Disease, because I am just so special like that. Basically, rather than allergies like I was always told, I have been getting every single sickness that rolled by for the past several decades and because I was so used to being sick and so criminally gaslit about it, I didn't even know I was ill and just kept going. Thyroid also has tumors on it. I may also have other autoimmune disorders, or thyroid cancer, but I won't know until I finally see an endocrinologist an hour away later this month.

Though my daily migraines stopped last summer, I still get frequent headaches and now extremely bad ones (or migraines) every time it rains. Generally, there seems to be some kind of inflammation issue where my body over-reacts to literally everything by swelling up and causing more problems.

Possibly tied to that, I was in pain every single day at work. Considering my age, there is no normal reason I should be crippled by joint pain but that is yet to be solved. I now only work two days a week, which has helped significantly, but I am still consistently in a ton of pain two days a week, sometimes three as a rebound.

In January, before I had gotten any diagnoses, my parents gave me an ultimatum that they were kicking me out in May. I had to beg them to go part-time because I simply could not keep up with job applications while I was so constantly tired and pain. After sobbing for two straight days about the inevitability of becoming homeless because I can't afford to or logistically live on my own, my mom convinced my dad to let me go part time on the condition that I continue to pay the same rent Ive been paying to live in one of their empty spare rooms.

In February, I went in for the first appointment toward getting an Autism screening. The therapist suggested I get an ADHD test and recommended me for the official autism screening, saying I have a solid case for suspecting. After a little computer game and another talking appointment, slightly to my own surprise (especially because of how easy it was) I was clinically diagnosed with ADHD. I recently started meds for that and it has made basic tasks and job applications infinitely easier to the extent it's insane, plus my final Autism screening is next week and based on my results every step of the process so far diagnosis seems likely.

All that said, the job search process has been soul-destroyingly frustrating. I have a masters degree in a specialized field, backed up by a Bachelor's in a relevant field, years of study abroad and work abroad (which is relevant to my career path) and a track record of excellent academic achievement. I also speak French and Korean near-fluently and am conversational in Romanian and Russian, as well as knowing a fair few phrases in a number of other languages. Every job I've had has stressed me out to the point of quitting by around a year (hello Autism), but also none were related to what I studied at all, highly customer service oriented, and still every one would tell you I was one of the best employees they ever had and begged me to stay. Even with this track record, after literally HUNDREDS AND HUNDREDS of applications (which in my field almost always require a cover letter, often questionnaires and lengthy short answers, or even writing samples in addition) I have had ONE interview in four years. ONE. And I was so heinously underqualified for that hail-Mary I'm 99% certain they only interviewed me to meet a quota. As you can imagine, for someone with highly probable AuDHD, doing the same thing over and over for 4 years with a 100% failure rate is enough to make me want to dive into a lake with a pile of bricks chained to my back.

I'm still months out from seeing a neurologist about my headaches and general constant pain, I don't have a plan of action for my buck-wild medical anomaly thyroid, and I don't know if my parents are kicking me out next month. They haven't brought it up so maybe with my recent headway on the Peace Corps application (was told I stand a very good chance, but that's another contract job overseas, further pushing back my ability to find a stable, long term career job) and slew of diagnoses and medications, my dad is cooling off a bit. I don't know.

All that to say my body is crumbling out from under me, my job is stressful, and despite being extremely qualified and putting in so much effort, I have zero long-term life prospects. Sometimes, that results in me diving whole-hog into writing for fun and as an outlet, other times I'm too tired or need to bury myself in mindless content consumption or days of spending every spare moment staring at my ceiling in silence until I maybe fall asleep. Did I also mention the crippling lifelong insomnia which my ADHD meds (along with rapid weight loss I'm desperately trying to curb because I'm already borderline underweight due to my thyroid) are exacerbating?

Anywyay. Point is I'm very tired and stressed so my writing is going to be much less consistent than in the past. Hope you understand. Also just an update for my online friends. TMI but I needed to rant and put it out there for those wondering to lower expectations.

[enihk-writes]

i read your comment reply to the "x reader needs to be completely ambiguous" post and i have to say, i agree with your whole statement.

i am a poc fanfic writer myself and i think it is weirdly entitled when someone demands inclusion in that way? the majority of fanfic nowadays gives correct tags (i.e. f!reader or specific title!reader) and is inclusive enough (not using light/dark when talking of colours of skin/eyes/hair, not specificying on body type just saying that are shorter/taller than certain characters)

so I don't really understand OP's whole... rant. and about the whole personality and bg story? most long fics require some adequate backstory for their protagonist a.k.a the reader, so they need a backstory to be somewhat interesting right?

and did you read their PS 2? I have to say that writing ambiguous readers are easier (not easy, just less difficult) on short stories like drabbles or headcanons or one shots. but long fics? it is borderline impossible unless you want to have a boring 2-dimensional protagonist with the personality of a potato.

not to mention writers who write the untagged oc! reader stories are probably young. like 14 15 young. writers at that age are just writing for themselves and probably are new to the whole "writing for fandom" sphere.

idk anymore, I just wanna say I agree with your statement even if I'm afraid to reveal myself bc I'm scared of getting cancelled lmfaooo

i just saw their ps 2 and i personally think they're doubling down on a point just because someone else might not agree with them... ive been writing fanfiction since i was 13,,, im like 22 now, and i feel like what people in fandom nowadays (fuck i sound like a boomer urggghhh) forget that x readers were created as a form of self-insert. you as a reader just happen to have the "privilege" to also read this piece of fanfiction that someone else created to satisfy their own fantasies and thought that "hey i think someone like me out there might enjoy this too!!!"

i wouldn't say their rant is entitled, i guess they're not wrong but also,,, it's icky,, just that something in that rant is icky to me,,, ive seen this same argument over and over again in the past few years and many people have pointed out really good points (i.e. lack of poc rep) which is why i think it's great to highlight and boost poc!reader fanfics so that other poc writers know that they are appreciated in that fandom space!!! which brings me to the part in their rant where they talk about writing about ambiguous readers.

is it easy? to an extent, yes.

in my mind when i write fanfics, they are all faceless, shapeless entities,, but there is only so much i can do with this character that i cannot imagine. what happens when i want to explore certain topics that i might relate to? i can't expect my readers to understand what it's like being a first-generation immigrant in a first-world city, whose home country is now going through a civil war? but does that mean i'm going to not post what i write as an x reader? no! i'm going to post it so that you as a reader can see what goes on in my head, how i see the world and hopefully, that reader can appreciate the work i have put out that i wrote with my heart.

that's my side of the story. and honestly someone not liking a fic because it doesn't relate to them is the most self-centred take i have seen and it used to be a valid argument but now,,,, it's morphing into plain old "what about me?" and they end the conversation at that,,, like why should writers care about you? if you're not the target audience for these fics,, move on!!!

if you are, great! good for you!

if you want to see something specific, open that fucking word document and write!!!! im so tired of seeing people complain and complain without doing anything to change things themselves like okay boss babes let's stop with the lip service and do something with the abilities you have!!! it's going to be the shittest writing ever the first few times but by your 10th or 20th fanfic you are getting somewhere, you are writing the literature you want to see in fandom spaces and who knows,,, you could find your own audience that loves your niche!!!

maybe it's just the way ive been raised but the amount of self-centred individualistic sentiment that has been going on in recent years is so!!!!!! it makes me want to fucking scream!!!! write it yourself!!! do it yourself!!!! im not obliged to write anybody's preferences other than my own!!!!

[badnew2005]

can u explain what clip show/chokes says about dennis’ whole running away/facing reality/holding tight behavior?

oooh this is my fav topic i feel like i’m talking ab the same point over and over again BUT IM NOT GOING TO STOP !!!! i’m assuming this is the post ur referencing and i’m gonna keep using these parameters etc. this is definitely not the best ive ever talked ab this but !! its whats happening rn !!!

there’s a bit at the very end of clip show that has always felt absolutely dripping in desperation from dennis it’s right after their phones all finish updating the “thank god we’re back to normal” but everyone ignores him while he waits for a beat too long trying to laugh and smile ab it all like. it’s always read to me as the “normal” dennis wants is their past their youth, specifically before mac came out and before he left. dennis’ fight or flight has been acting up and influencing the gang for so long but it really is specifically tied to mac coming out, mac being recognised as gay by the gang and the fear they’ll recognise him too you know he’s been fighting, pushing back, causing tension and arguments and declaring his hatred etc etc. dennis is very very desperate to be back in charge of the direction of the gang and their mentalities etc, hes desperate to keep living in the past!!!!!

and chokes is another favourite example of this miscommunication and contradiction like ALLLLLL dennis wants is to go back to "normal" to before mac came out. mac being able to see through him and know him in a way dennis thought he had blocked was terrifying and caused him to physically leave like the fear of mac being able to see through his facade theres a LOT of things hes keeping hidden he cant let mac know like. but then he came back. and part of wanting everything back to normal is that unspoken connection and communication with mac - hes getting frustrated and angry at mac for not being able to read him and understand him anymore, that they cant just pick up exactly where they left - that they cant pick up from a few years ago and pretend nothings happened nothings changed. like dennis can’t communicate !!!!!! he wants mac to know him he wants everything to go back to how it Was before north dakota but. north dakota didn’t just happen to dennis. it happened to Mac Too. don’t forget that. macs seen dennis push back because he got too close so macs only following blatant orders he doesn’t want to get too close again and for dennis to leave. again. its dennis not being able to face reality to face the actual situation he himself put them in by leaving, emotionally and physically, and then crawling back. ive been saying soooo much hes only just emotionally returned from north dakota i think s13-15 we see him still stuck in fight or flight (as he has been for many seasons before this too) but in the process of crawling back home - emotionally. tail between his legs!

hes holding on tight to this sense of control to his fanatsies and memories and refusing to acknowledge reality which you see him do countless times over and over in different situations but like the end of clip show was SINISTER with the “we’re back to normal” it’s dennis’ fantasy he wants so badly to become reality. he’s the best at monitoring reality and pulling one over on the gang. because that’s all he Ever does. that’s all he’s been doing. they’ve only just caught on or directly challenged him or tried to live in their own fantasies. clip show reinforcing again and again dennis is the most skilled at / aware of having fantasies replace real life memories and experiences. he can change his perception of life to suit him, but is painfully aware its not reality for the first time. highshchool and the golden god one of my fav / the easiest examples of this like just hes always been running away from the truth from reality from some version of himself that he cant look in the mirror. also i legally have to mention roller rink its ooc because its like clip show its their memories theyre telling a story like remember when i was nice and cool yeah i do because it hurts less and they love eachother. clip show dennis takes control of the narrative of the story of the mission to get back into "reality" BUT thought he could pull one over do macden live together. hes a scared little baby running away! SAD! alsoooooooo like how the spinning top doesnt fall and we see the second charlie poke his head like !!!!!! THEYR (DENNIS IS ) STILL STUCK in dennis' fantasy of life aka where theyre all back to normal. i feel like i havent said enough ab holding tight its listerally just clinging into the past onto these idealised versions clinging onto mac and their relationship like not letting him move on you know.

yeah okay again this is def not my best explination of it but thats generally what i was getting to in that paragraph mentioning clip show and chokes :) its all dennis' relationship w the truth and reality and how he's always used it as a crutch trying to be someone else aka running away from himself from the gang from his real actual life. playing pretend as the person he thinks he should be. but then coming home and not being able to communicate ANYTHINGGGGGGGGGGGGG because he cant even admit it to himself so they just get stuck in these cycles.