#and a sprinkle of limited life joel
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omvimo ¡ 1 year ago
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brainrot isn’t enough i need to rip them apart and dissect them
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phosphorus-noodles ¡ 9 months ago
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Hello there, friend.
I see you have found my blog. My deepest condolences. Nevertheless, I hope you enjoy your stay here! ^^
Here's a link to a page where you can learn everything there is to know about me!
. . .
No? Not satisfied? Back for more? Well then, here's an easier breakdown for you:
Call me Pho!
My pronouns are she/they (mostly?) + bonus prns if you want. Don't always vibe with labels because the thing with labels is that they Change Often, but tumblr decided that I’m aroace so that’s the closest you’ll get I think 👍
I mostly post about MCYT (Empires, Hermitcraft, Life Series, etc), but there's some multifandom stuff sprinkled in there as well. This includes but is not limited to: dunmeshi, steven universe, the owl house, gravity falls, luca, wings of fire, miraculous ladybug, etc
I'm the admin of the @bad-traffic-smp-ideas blog! Come check it out if you're interested in life series stuff, we have fun <3
I'll occasionally reblog religious things, as I am religious. I currently don't tag for it (or tag for most other things for that matter) but if you ask politely I'd be happy to ^^
Legally, I'm an adult, so if you're one of the "18+ dni" people, don't follow! (Adult content levels are typically pretty low, though.)
We're a diagnosed DID system, so sometimes headmates are a bit silly on main. Collective name is Noodles and collective pronouns are they/them if you're wondering! (pronouns.cc <- sys intro thing)
I have a sideblog for more personal and sys-related things that mutuals + friends from discord + whoever I deem worthy enough can follow. If you think you're one of these people, dm to ask for it :)
I also have a sideblog where I'll reblog all my art from here. It's a wip, but it'll be tagged here when it's done being set up ^^
Don't get us involved in discourse, we don't care.
[Sona ref coming soon, promise]
(Tag system + more under cut!)
“pho.posts” - my original posts!
“pho.asks” - asks for me :3c
“pho.reblogs” - reblogs from other people
"pho.saves" - me saving things for later
“pho.doodles” - my art :)
"pho.writes" - my (occasional) writing lol
"pho.crochets" - what it sounds like, I like to crochet!
"pho.polls" - occasional poll idk
“leftover.noodles” - self reblogs, or something like that
"butterflies.and.wind.chimes" - au tag! tl;dr it's Empires s1 but Oli TheOrionSound is there and him and Joel are goofy together ^^ (<- if I'm talking about an au, 95% of the time it's this one)
[au masterpost here!]
. . .
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If you made it to the very end, drop a like! I love you <3
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uncpanda ¡ 4 years ago
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The Ties that Bind: Extreme Aggressor
Synopsis of series: Being the older sister of a literal genius? It’s not easy. Raising said genius from childhood on? An act of love. Uprooting your life again when he gets in over his head? A no brainer. Finding a new family and support system for yourself? Well, you suppose that’s just luck.
Master List
AN: The character of Joel, is based on Joel Goran from the show Saving Hope. No other elements will be taken from the show, just him, because he seems to fit. You don’t need to watch the show to understand anything :) 
What’s something you guys would like to see in this series? Any special moments? Any special episodes? 
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“I just hate it.” 
You cradle the phone between your shoulder and your ear as you stir the pot in front of you. You don’t say anything because you know this rant is far from over. 
“I mean they’re treating him like he’ll break at any second and it isn’t fair. Yes he experienced a horrific tragedy, but he also identified that he needed help and took the time off. He’s one of the best agents the FBI has ever seen and they’re having him watched like he’s . . . a toddler!” 
You smile as Spencer sucks in a breath, but you stay silent. 
“Are you still there?” 
You sprinkle some garlic powder, paprika, and pepper into the pot, “I’m here. I just wanted to make sure you were done first.” 
“That’s the other thing. Gideon is one of the only other people in the world who will let me finish speaking without cutting me off. I mean, Hotch isn’t bad but he’s done it occasionally. Gideon never has. . . .I’m done. Thoughts?” 
You put the lid on and step away, “I think they’re being cautious Spencer. That explosion was huge. I was on the phone for three hours trying to book a flight before you called. Even after you called and reassured me you were okay, I considered flying out and dragging your ass back here.” 
“I know my job scares you, but . . .”
You sit down on the couch, “Terrifies me Spencer. I mean, when you were a kid I had to check under your bed for monsters every night through your freshman year at CalTech.” 
“I was twelve. I don’t know if that counts.” 
“It counts because I said so. But back to Gideon. I like the guy, a lot, if only because he sees your value and looks after you. But an event like that changes people, Spencer. And while he certainly seems to know his limitations, having someone watching out for him isn’t a bad idea.” 
There’s a moment of silence before he says, “Okay, that solves my problem with Hotch but not Morgan. It’s like he’s just waiting for Gideon to fall apart.” 
“I’m not a profiler or anything, just a teacher. But it sounds to me like Agent Morgan is dealing with survivors' guilt. He thinks he should have been there, that maybe if he had been things would have ended differently. And I think he may blame Gideon just a tad too, because he needs someone to blame.” 
“That doesn’t make it right.” 
“Never said it did. But do you remember when you were seven and mom didn’t show up to the science fair? You blamed your teacher because the last time she and mom spoke mom got mad. . .” 
“Because she had said I should stay at my peer level to improve my peer interaction skills and mom said you don’t waste genius.” 
“You made that woman’s life hell for two months before you would finally listened to me.” 
“I apologized.”   
“Yes, you did. I’m just saying, sometimes we’re irrational without really realizing it.” 
“You know, we have an opening in the BAU. You’d be a good fit.” You can hear the smile in his voice, and relief floods you. You’ve managed to talk him down. 
A second later the door to the apartment opens and you smile at the handsome face that enters, “You know. I’m good here in California. I miss you like crazy kid, but my job, apartment, and boyfriend are all here.” 
Joel collapses next to you, “Spencer?” 
You nod, smile, and tilt the phone for him to say hi, “Hey Spencer! How are ya man?” 
There’s a second of silence before a rather grumbly “Hi Joel.” comes through. 
Joel’s lips twitch, before he places a kiss on your temple and goes towards the bathroom to shower. “Is he gone?” 
You sigh, “Yes.” 
“I don’t know why you’re with that guy. You can do better.” 
“Better than a handsome surgeon from New Zealand?” 
“I’m telling you, there’s something not right about him.” 
“So noted, but can you try to be nice? Please.” 
“Did I correct his grammar at Christmas?” 
You laugh, “No.” 
“That’s me being nice.” 
“Well. . . keep at it, improve. Cause you’re at a C in the nice grade right now.” 
Spencer scoffs, “I’ve never gotten a C in my life.” 
“Don’t worry, you can improve . . . this summer . . .when you WILL come to visit.” 
“I’ll see what I can do. Bye. Love you.” 
“Love you too little brother, have fun playing CLUE.” 
You hang up before he can sputter out an indignity, and turn towards the bedroom door where a half naked Joel is waiting, “Feel like joining me in the shower?” 
You grin, “Only if you want dinner to burn.” 
“I’ll order Thai.” 
And really, how can you turn down that invitation? 
Tag List: 
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@lil-frenchfri77  @prettylittlemoonlight @webreathfandoms
@fandomsstolemylife00 @gracesd1ary @eli-side-blog @sleepy-time 
 @bcarolinablr @acoolnight @violet-potter @ssavanessa22
@inlovewithhonestlyeveryone @louisaland @averyhotchner 
@lostinwonderland314 @prentisswrites @starandbooklover @vxxn128  @csloreen @srosegarden @zetasaturno99 @greenprisca @rouge-fandoms  @fandom-oneshots-etc 
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thanksjro ¡ 5 years ago
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Eugenesis, an Overview: Let Me Get Weirdly Serious About This Book For A Sec
HOLY SHIT WHAT A RIDE.
So, let’s recap what we’ve learned over the last 282 pages.
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In 2001, James Roberts published nearly 300 pages of fictional prose, based in the established franchise of Transformers, specifically the Marvel UK comic continuity. This novel tells the story of the Transformers, in their dwindling numbers, being attacked, not by their opposing factions, but by an outside force hellbent on revenge. Those who are captured by this force- the Quintessons- are stripped of their very individuality, forced into servitude until the moment they die of exhaustion. Everyone is pushed to- and in some cases beyond- their limits, the horrors of a literal genocide beating down on them like a tidal wave. Only by casting aside their differences and banding together can they hope to survive the nightmare that is the Eugenesis Wars.
But people don’t really talk about all that, even though it’s a majority of what the book’s about. No, people only talk about what happens after the Quintessons are defeated. People only talk about the robots getting pregnant, because honestly it is the most bizarre thing.
Not because the idea itself is terribly odd- I mean, at least it’s in line with the lore the comics set up. It’s bizarre in how we get to that point. All the torture, all the suicide and death and depression and destruction of entire belief systems, leads up to these robots getting pregnant. Almost like that was the whole point. And considering that this story is presenting to us a bridge for the gap between the classic Transformers and the Beast-Era ones, it could have very well been.
I won’t say fetish, because that doesn’t feel quite right, but our dear author seems to have a sort of… obscene fascination with the concept of mechpreg. A fascination that will carry on well into his career as a professional comic scriptwriter, setting readers on edge for the duration of his run with IDW.
Comparing Eugenesis to More Than Meets The Eye and Lost Light, you get an interesting view of Roberts’ growth, as both a writer and a human being. Eugenesis is the work of what Billy Joel might call an "angry young man”, focusing on the despair of wartime and the futility of one’s struggle against the flow of time and mortality. The theme of time only being perceived as linear, and being in actuality an unending plane where all moments are equal and eternal might seem oddly specific, but it’s reflected upon by multiple characters within the story of Eugenesis. Perhaps this is why he has Brainstorm and Perceptor collectively and completely jack up time itself in the Elegant Chaos storyline.
Character moments sprinkled throughout the narrative give us a glimpse of the relationships that would be written later on- some of the most compelling scene writing happens between Quark and Rev-Tone, two original characters who have such a delightful dynamic between them, they very quickly became some of my favorites. You truly believe that they care so strongly for one another, they would do just about anything to keep the other safe. And they do, in a couple cases.
Then there’s all the death. There’s a lot of death in Eugenesis, and none of it is by way of natural causes- you’ve either got suicide, murder, or suicide-by-way-of-murder. You really see Roberts shine in these death scenes, both then and now, as he captures the utter, raw tranquility as one stares down their own demise, and on the other side of the coin, the complete annihilation of one’s very heart as someone they love is destroyed. It’s downright poetic how he handles these scenes.
Still, there is a difference in how the aftermath is handled. When someone dies in the MTMTE/LL run, there’s always meaning and purpose to it- nobody dies just to die, and those who are left behind are left at least something to comfort them.
A message of love.
The return of a friend.
A chance to keep living.
A chance to be a better person.
You don’t get that in Eugenesis. In most cases, there’s no salve for the wound, only more hurting. There’s no time to even mourn, as the fight rages on and on and on. Any happiness pulled from the narrative for the characters is laced with a bittersweet understanding that these folks probably aren’t going to make it, and they’re just as aware of that fact as the reader is.
And yet there’s something kind of beautiful about that, in a twisted sort of way.
Eugenesis is a sort of love letter to those dark thoughts hiding in our heads, those deeply scary intrusive visions of everything we care about being ripped away from us. It’s a book make up of catharsis, of hurting that begs for some sort of outlet. The characters in this story are lost, and scared, and hollowed out before the mass extinction even arrives, and are put through wringer after wringer, like some sort of distanced facsimile of self-harm.
Perhaps I’m reading a bit too into this, but with how intense things get, with self-insert characters no less, I can’t help but wonder if the James Roberts who was writing Eugenesis truly needed this outlet in more than just a creative sense.
Which isn’t to say that there aren’t issues with this novel just because it was a vessel for catharsis. Pacing can end up going so rapidly it feels as if you’re being pushed towards the edge of a cliff, then stutter to a halt to the point where continuing on feels like an absolute slog. But it always seems just as you’re about to put the thing down and give up, something completely thrilling, completely insane and powerful and profoundly attention-grabbing happens, pulling you right back in. If nothing else, this book demands one’s attention.
There are also some other, more interesting issues with Eugenesis. Issues I wasn’t really expecting to run into. To highlight one such issue, we’re going to play a game.
The game is called Guess That Character Design!
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Hey Transformers fandom, got a new quandary for y’all to fight over. Forget the Frenzy/Rumble color debate, forget the Bombshell/Skywarp is Cyclonus debate, it’s time for the What The Actual Everloving Fuck Is Quark Supposed To Look Like debate! Do we follow the comic and its script, which show him as being either about on par with Rev-Tone and Mirage or taller, but fails to note any sort of color because it’s in black-and-white? Or do we follow the novel, which states he’s short exactly once, and crimson? And if he’s red, where did the blue paint chips come from in Part Five? They sure didn’t come from Rev-Tone, who I know is mostly red- not because the novel told me, but because I’ve seen art of him outside of this. Honestly, other than him having big honkin’ shoulders and a bust to match, nothing about Quark’s visual aesthetic is concrete.
Now, I could tell you all about his quirks and mannerisms, how he holds himself, how he talks, how he interacts with others, all sorts of stuff. Nothing wrong with the writing there, characterization’s great! I just couldn’t tell you for the life of me how his body is supposed to look. Rev-Tone’s in the same boat, except it’d be even worse without the helpful input of some friends. Did you know he has a visor? Because I sure as shit didn’t until someone showed me. It’s never mentioned in the book. You can barely see it in the prequel comic art if you’re looking for it, and the script is less than helpful to me because I’m not Matt friggin’ Dallas, nor have I had the pleasure of reading Transtrip. All the information presented in the novel about his looks involves his mouth.
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Hell, some of the writing in Eugenesis seems to imply that he actually just has normal eyeballs.
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What I’m getting at here is that Roberts leans a bit too much on the reader knowing exactly as much as he does about the characters, the plot points, the lore. And he knows A LOT about Transformers.
This book essentially requires the reader to have the wiki open with multiple tabs at all times. Roberts put his heart and soul into the prose, but the world-building had his nerdy little brains smeared all over it, because there are some obscure references in here, not to mention the sci-fi jargon. You basically NEED an internet connection to get through this- I’ve never read a novel that pretty much forbid an acoustic reading, but here it is, in all its glory.
Eugenesis is a dark, morbid, conflicted story with the oddest little bright spots in it. Within five pages, you’ll go from some of the most horridly bleak death scenes to someone accidentally burning a hole in their hand like a cartoon character. But never once, in nearly 300 pages, does it ever stop trying. It may not succeed in what it’s attempting 100% of the time, but goddamn does it go as hard as it can. This isn’t something that was done for money, or fame, or anything like that. Eugenesis is a passion project in the purest sense, and you can really feel it in the way it’s been crafted. For all the frustration it put me through, never once did I think “man, this guy just doesn’t care.” The ambition Roberts shows in the prose, in the world-building, in all the funny little moments that show just so much personality within the story, truly were harbingers for what was to come just a decade later.
Ambitious. Bleak. Brutal. Weird. Ultimately unforgettable. That’s James Roberts’ Eugenesis.
But let’s get to the heart of the matter, shall we? The one question that truly matters for any novel: is it worth reading?
Well, that depends.
If you had a hard time with the darker parts of MTMTE/LL, I really couldn’t recommend that you read Eugenesis. You will have an awful time, because most of it is Grindcore x100 levels of depressing and brutal. There were a couple points where I had to take a break because things got so intense- and I’m not exactly squeamish. Maybe stick to a breakdown- like this one!- or try a group read-along. Friends make everything better, after all.
If you like Roberts work and want to see where he came from, like I did, I highly recommend you find a copy- digital of course, there are only a few hundred physical copies in existence. I recommend you find the 2nd edition, which includes Telefunken and fixes some of the more glaring continuity mistakes and typos.
It’s a good read. Just... it’s a lot at times.
Like, a lot.
Up next-
Oh, what? You didn’t think that was it, did you? This url is way too sweet to just be done with so soon.
Next, I’ll be taking a gander at Children of a Lesser Matrix, which is something that was never finished by Roberts, but is still floating around the internet because hey! It’s the internet.
If anyone has any other somewhat obscure writings from JRo, feel free to send them my way. Especially if you have any of the TMUK zines from back in the day. I wish to consume all the works.
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deeperdark ¡ 5 years ago
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booksmart 
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about: joel and luna completely forget about what they were studying for
author’s note: expansion of this blurb, thanks to the anon who sent it! this is my first time writing for cnco but i really liked it!!
warning: minor fluff, mature content [dirty talk, sprinkle of dom!joel, public and unprotected intercourse (wear condoms, folks)]
word count: 1.9k
library dates were one of the only ways joel and luna could make enough time for each other nowadays. with finals rapidly approaching, neither of them could spare too much time outside of class and sleep to hang out or even watch their favorite shows together. they knew it wouldn’t last forever, just a few more weeks before they could go back to clinging onto one another, but it was torture. they were each other’s better halves, sickeningly sweet in their infatuation with the other and completely consumed by their passion. countless hours apart from each other was so difficult, especially when they were telling themselves to stay away. it only made them more eager.
so they constructed library dates, two or three hours out of the day where they’d study for upcoming exams or quizzes together, balancing their weaknesses with the other’s strengths. they go to one of the more abandoned levels of the library, the seventh floor to be exact, and just sit in one of the corners going over vocabulary and concepts until they had to part ways. 
luna decided to treat today’s date as more of its namesake, donning the cherry printed skirt that joel had previously expressed as his favorite and her olive toned sweater. she spritzed on the honey sandalwood perfume that drove him absolutely crazy, letting her hair do its own thing as she left her dorm for the day. her heart skipped erratically as the clock neared her favorite time of day, six o’clock in the evening, when she’d be heading up to their corner of the library for their studious rendezvous. 
she made a beeline towards the tallest building on campus as her professor finally set them free for the day, thinking about how good he seemed to look now that they had limited time together. she stood in the starbucks line to get them cups of liquid energy, knowing he had a longer walk to the building than she did, ordering his usual just the way he liked it. 
he was waiting for her buy the time their drinks were done, sitting with his back against the wall of books on strepsirhines vs haplorhines that he only paid attention to when he’d taken human evolution the semester prior. their eyes met as he looked up from his textbook, a glittering smile overtaking his face as she dipped down to join him. his lips gravitated towards hers before she could even hand him his coffee with one cream and two sugars. “hi, baby.”
her cheeks grew warm as he slung his arm around her waist, pressing a kiss to her temple. “you look so beautiful today, nena, i love that skirt.” she battled the urge to say i know you do as his hand smoothed over the material and flittered with the hemline. “you smell amazing, too. what are you trying to do, distract me from my work?”
she shook her head dramatically, scoffing in feign disbelief. “no, never that.”
luna opened her backpack to pull out the textbook she needed to her human sexuality class, taking out the diagrams of reproductive organs that her professor was going to have them label on the exam. “how was your day?”
“boring as ever, spent most of it thinking about what i want for dinner.” she took out her notecards, shuffling them into a random order for joel to quiz her with. he laughed at her response, the sound music to her deprived ears as she watched the subtle shake of his shoulders. “i’m serious!”
“i know you are, baby, that’s why it’s funny.” 
she tried to keep her eyes off of the way his shirt hugged his figure, the tight nature of it highlighting all the right places of his torso that made her mouth water. heat set ablaze within her body at the sight of the scruff that littered his jawline, the unkempt look he wasn’t too fond of growing to be her favorite part of him. even his grip on the textbook sent her mind swirling into a highly inappropriate soliloquy about what else he could grip like that, or where she wanted his freshly manicured fingers to be.
it got to be way too much, lust clouding her mind when her exam should be. so she attempted to excuse herself for a moment, just to get herself away from his intoxicating aura. “i-i’m gonna go look for a book. for this class. something to give me a better understanding of... orgasms, and such.”
“where are you gonna find something like that over here?”
luna rolled her eyes as if it was obvious, pushing herself onto her feet and brushing any possible dust off of her skirt. “isn’t this, like, the science section? there should be something about sexual sciences.”
“i could teach you a thing or two about sexual sciences.”
she bit back her laugh, watching the way his eyes raked up her legs and locked on the bit of stomach that peaked through underneath the sweater. “was that supposed to turn me on?”
“if it worked then yes, if not... no?” he put a marker in his book before shutting it, rising to his full height that overlooked over luna. her throat went dry at how his eyes were hooded, the not so subtle lick of his lower lip as he pulled her closer to him by her waist. his voice dropped as he leaned in closer to her. “did it work?”
her head was nodding yes before her mind could even register it, her feet pushing her up to kiss him with a briskness that surprised even her. but his hand stopped her, reaching up to grab her chin before she could press her lips to his. “need to hear you say it, luna. are you turned on?”
“yes.” it came out as more of a moan, her voice betraying her as she gave into his dominate disposition.
he rewarded her obedience with a kiss, his lips overpowering hers easily as he wrapped his arms around her midsection. luna let out another moan against his lips at the feeling of his body molded against hers but he gripped her ass, mumbling a nuh-uh against her mouth in disapproval. “don’t wanna get caught.”
joel twirled them around so that she was now against the bookcase, careful to shield her head from the unforgiving metal of the shelves. her hands took purchase at the neckline of his shirt, snaking around his neck as his hands ventured underneath her skirt. his breathing picked up as he felt how warm her thighs were beneath his touch, her skin inviting him to do whatever he wanted however he pleased. luna was looking up at him through impatient eyes, forcing herself to await his next move instead being as needy as she felt. 
he hiked her skirt up enough to allow himself access to the blush pink panties she’d slid on that morning. “you gonna be quiet for me?”
she popped open the button of his jeans, nodding at him furiously. “yes, i promise.”
“are you sure you wanna do this in the library?” he picked her up by the backs of her thighs, keeping one of his hands at her hip to keep her stable.
luna kissed her approval, biting on his lip to quiet herself as his fingers found their way to her clit. this was pushing boundaries that neither of them had crossed, at least not in such an extreme way. teasing each other in public or even disappearing to a bathroom for ten minutes wasn’t out of the normal for them. but for joel to have her pinned against the shrouded bookcases of their very public library, hand swiping her panties to the side to sink his fingers inside of her, was an entirely new world for them. 
the pads of his fingers grazed across her g-spot, focusing all of his attention there as he curled in and out of her at an agonizing place. luna’s hips responded against her will, grinding along with his motions as joel kiss along her neck. “such a good girl, aren’t you, luna?”
she struggled to form a cohesive response but managed to stutter out, “always.”
joel couldn’t help but smirk to himself as his hand brushed against her clit, luna’s moan stifled by his lips once more. he could feel her legs starting to convulse around him and took it as his queue to pull away, licking his fingers clean as she huffed in disappointment. “need to feel you cum around me.”
he pushed his boxers down enough to free his cock from the confines, a low sigh of relief escaping his mouth. his hand instinctually wrapped around the base, stroking himself before tapping the tip along luna’s folds. she tried her hardest to suppress the whine that bubbled in her throat as he thrusted into her, his own groan of pleasure betraying him. “we gotta be quiet, nena.”
luna nodded, crossing her ankles behind him more securely as he started to move. the rush of being caught, someone turning the corner in search for a specific book but instead seeing them, sent tingles down her spine. she was in absolute heaven with him between her legs like this, his eyes sending her a blissed out look at made her melt. he felt so good stretching her out, lulling his hips to meet hers steadily enough so the noise was minimal. 
joel threw caution to the wind as he pulled one of her legs to rest higher up around his torso, changing the angle so he could reach deeper inside of her. she tried to hide the soft whisper of his name that the feeling elicited but he heard it, confidence coursing through his veins at seeing just how fucked she was for him.
his ring clad hand wrapped around her neck, teeth tugging lightly at her lower lip as he watched her eyes flutter shut. “you love this shit, don’t you?” she moaned in agreement, her fingers gripping his biceps for dear life as he picked up speed. “use your words, baby, tell me that you love when i fuck you like this.”
“i-i love it, joel, please.” he clasped his free hand over her mouth as his hips pistoned into her, the cries he knew she wouldn’t be able to fight muffled by his palm. their bodies couldn’t hide it anymore, the subtle smacking of hips and the occasional clank of the bookcase from the force he was using. it only motivated joel to achieve their climaxes that much quicker, his hand swiveling between them to massage her clit. 
“can you cum for me, princess?”
she didn’t trust herself to respond, knowing that her attempt would be loud and desperate, and ultimately result in them getting caught. the tension in her stomach snapped, white hot pleasure sweeping through her body as she toppled over the edge. joel wasn’t far behind, his sloppy thrusts leading to his own euphoric high as he spilled into her. he replaced his hand on her mouth with his lips, swallowing all of her sweet sighs as he rode out both of their orgasms. her hips slowed down as her energy suddenly depleted, her legs going limp as he pulled out of her.
he stuffed himself back in his underwear and zipped his jeans before cautiously setting luna back on her feet. their coffee and textbooks were still abandoned off in the corner as he gave her a chaste kiss, swollen lips lingering over hers as he inhaled her saccharine perfume all over again. “who would’ve thought one skirt had all that power?”
“mm, something tells me you did.”
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lawrenceop ¡ 4 years ago
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HOMILY for Ash Wednesday
Joel 2:12-18; Ps 50; 2 Cor 5:20–6:2; Matt 6:1-6, 16-18
“Let your hearts be broken”, says the prophet Joel today. But have our hearts not been broken all year by this pandemic; by forced separation from our families, our friends, our loved ones; by the ‘new normal’ of these difficult times? “Remember that you are dust”, we say as the ashes are sprinkled on us, a powerful memento mori, a reminder of death. But have we not had plentiful reminders of death, as we watch the graphs and charts daily showing us the death rates from the coronavirus, and indeed, as we sit at home, unable to attend the funerals of the people we know, and so we’re relegated to helplessly taking part online? 
For these are times of sorrow, indeed, and the onset of Lent might seem to increase that sorrow. For many, these purple hues and solemn tones speak of gloom and the burden of life, or to be more exact, the burden of our human limitations and mortality. And, indeed, this burden can be crushing, our sorrows can pierce our heart and break it, and the daily reminder of death can cause us anxiety and despair. But only if we let it do so; only if we have no hope; only if we think that we are alone, without any help. 
For we must hear the pleas of the prophet Joel today: “Turn to the Lord your God again”. Perhaps we used to pray, and then we gave up. Today, this Lent, strive to do it again. Perhaps you’ve not been to Confession or to Mass for some time. Today, this Lent, come back to the Sacraments again. Perhaps you’ve felt abandoned by the Church, or let down by us priests. But today, this Lent, turn to the Lord your God again. For, from the heart of his holy Church, God calls out to you today in the words of the prophet: “come back to me with all your heart, fasting, weeping, mourning.” 
The Lord invites us to return to him, and to bring him our broken hearts. He asks us to go to him fasting, weeping, mourning. Why? Because he knows that we have been fasting, indeed, we’ve been starved of truth and justice and peace. So, go to him in prayer. He knows we’ve been weeping: lonely, isolated, missing friends and a former simpler life from only a year ago. So, go to him and cry out: “Spare your people, Lord!” And he knows we’ve been mourning: people have lost jobs, income security, and we’ve lost people and time together with our loved ones. So, “turn to the Lord your God again, for he is all tenderness and compassion, slow to anger, rich in graciousness, and ready to relent.”
For, my friends, the Lord our God is mercy. Indeed, he is, as Jesus tells us, our Father, “and your Father who sees all that is done in secret will reward you.” What is the reward that God gives us? Himself. God gives himself, and his grace and strength, and his divine life, eternal life, to us. And so, God our Father, calls us, his beloved children, his prodigal sons and daughters, his hurting and wounded little ones, to return to him. And the ashes remind us that without God, if we try and figure life out without him, then we will only struggle under the weight of our sins, and the burden of our anxieties, and these will grind us down until we become like ash. For without God and his mercies, even though we are alive we are in the midst of death. 
But God our Father does not want this. Because God is Love. With love, God wants us to come back to him, to turn to him, to be united to him in true friendship. And the first step towards God is repentance. At the very least, repentance begins with a recognition of the folly of living as though God does not exist; the futility of days spent simply worrying without praying; or the exhaustion of working and striving so much that we forget God and have no time for him. Hence Jesus says: “Come to me, all you who labour and are burdened, and I will give you rest”. (Mt 11:28)
So, Lent in fact is a time for a break; a time to look after ourselves; a time, indeed, to let God tend to our broken hearts. Hence, the Lord God calls out: “Come back to me with all your hearts.” As Cardinal Nichols reminded us recently, Lent is essentially about “a movement of the heart towards our beloved Lord.” So, in the secret of your hearts today, during this Lenten season of forty days and forty night, in the secret of your hearts, speak to the Lord your God, and pour out your heart, your thoughts, your worries, your sorrows, your sins. Do not cling to your sins, or become blasé about them; do not let your sins fester in your heart, for these will burn like ember and turn our spirits to ash. 
Rather, turn to God again and offer all to him, in prayer, and above all, in the beautiful and precious Sacrament of Confession. For this is the purpose of our memento mori, the only one that really counts: that we remember that without God and without his grace, then we are faced, all alone, with death and dust and ashes. But, with God, with the mercy and love and forgiveness of the Risen Lord Jesus that we experience in the Sacraments, even broken hearts are put back together, and even death is transformed.
Hence Pope Francis said: “In these times of trouble, when everything seems fragile and uncertain, it may appear challenging to speak of hope. Yet Lent is precisely the season of hope, when we turn back to God… [when we] revive the faith that comes from the living Christ, the hope inspired by the breath of the Holy Spirit and the love flowing from the merciful heart of the Father.”
So, my friends, let us turn again to the Lord our God, and let us do it now. For as St Paul declares: “now is the favourable time; this is the day of salvation.”
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acutewitchcraft ¡ 2 years ago
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I have so many thoughts about it!!! So I will just put all my thoughts here and apologise for sort of taking over
So, I'm still learning a lot of how to use minecraft in my practice but I love the idea of using a world as an altar since I can't really be obvious with my practice, so I'm limited
But minecraft is one of my favourite games for years, ever since it came out, so this works so well for me
Keep in mind, a lot of my playing sensibilities are informed by the mcyt people I watch. People who are just artists in the game that really opened my mind to what you can really do
Each block and colour they use have meaning. What structure they make has a purpose. They add a story to what they're building, to inform choices in how it looks and what they want it to feel. And I want to take that same mindset when it comes to witchcraft in minecraft
You want to do a prosperity spell? So you build something that makes you think of it and what prosperity means to you. You gather the materials you needs, you build something for that purpose, and that act of creation, of dedicating time and energy to make it, is enough to set that spell in motion
Maybe afterwards, you do a ritual to really solidify that energy to your sent intention.
Depending on how you want that to be, you can sacrifice certain items, or write your intention in a book and leave it on a lectern at the build to finish it off. Or hide a hopper, or hopper minecart if you want to be sneaky, and you throw the items into it which drops them into a barrel underground like a jar spell.
And the build can be anything! It's really up to you.
It doesn't even have to be your main base. You can sprinkle builds all over your world, at any place that feels best for whatever you want to make. And over time, you world just becomes lived in and full of magic and life.
If you want to dedicate builds to deities you work with, you can make a whole temple for them. Or even a whole statue!
Like Joel did in the most recent empires smp series (dedicated to the god of farming in his lore)
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Or what Pixlriffs did in the same series, recently (a statue of a forgotten goddess that watches over the catacombs)
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But those people are content creators that have been playing and honing their skills for years. So you don't have to do it like them, but you know what I'm getting at!!
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You can also utilise the mechanics in the game like spawn chunks, which are a 19x19 (or 21x21) chunk area in the starting area in your world that is constantly loaded
So spells you want to have constantly on, like protection spells and such, can be made in one of those chunks
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You can make a mega base where you set up your main place of operations. Design it with a style that makes you feel magical and powerful.
Where you store all the stuff you need for your buildings.
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You can also just mix in your regular play with your craft. If you need to make a villager trading hall, you can dedicate that area to job spells!
Gold farms with prosperity and money spells!
Enderman farms with travelling spells.
Guardian farms with water-based spells.
Blaze farms with fire-based spells.
You can tackle the enderdragon or the woodland mansion or the wither, and dedicate it to a certain spell, where you come back with a specific loot as an ingredient to a spell.
You can have multiple worlds you play in at a time. Maybe they can have a set biome to build in for a challenge, or you keep a hardcore world if you want to see how far you go.
- You shape the world to however you want and need. As you grow in your craft, your world grows with you.
And I love that idea.
Minecraft + Magic
I’ve been playing a lot of Minecraft recently and it’s really got me thinking on/about it being used as a sort of like an altar/e-shrine that one could use if they were still a hidden witch or even a beginner witch. When playing I know that most players enjoy building a home so I figured why not build a home with rooms of worship inside it? Each room would then be dedicated to a god/dess and then i would go out into the world looking for the devotional items or things that would symbolize that god/dess.  Inside the game there are many potential representations Torches - Candles Lava - Fire Element Rivers/Lakes/Waterfalls/Oceans - Water Element Dirt - Earth Element Feathers - Wind Element YOU CAN MAKE AN ENCHANTING TABLE WITH A FLOATING SPELL BOOK. YOU CAN BREW POTIONS TOO!
There’s so much potential for Magical workings in this game. Seriously guys go check it out or try it for yourselves~
I’ll try to take pictures of my house to show you what i mean, hopefully it’ll work… Anyways talk to me about it! What are your thoughts?
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gotham-city-tales-blog ¡ 7 years ago
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“Crazy Child”- Loki Imagine
Request: “any kind of emotionally vulnerable loki fluff pls!!” by anon
Summary: Loki is distraught after a city in Asgard is destroyed but puts up an illusion(just as in Thor II) and you comfort him.
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Loki strut passed you and Thor and every soldier. His ego and self in tact neatly, a facade. An entire city of Asgard, gone. They may have won the war, but the Asgardian Princes were less than comforted with the battle they had lost.
An entire community, leveled. Ashes sprinkled down from the skies like a blizzard, not even bodies lay in the rubble-not even rubble was there. Only ash. The town and its people vaporized.
Loki practically ran to his residence within the fortress, leaving you behind to trail in the ashen snow.
And you did.
Through broken remains on the no-longer-a-city’s border. Pillars stood with nothing a top, buildings crumbled to only foundations and door frames.You followed the ever deepening foot prints back to Loki.
The door swung open before you had a chance to knock.
Loki stood in front of you, the room brightly lit. He began talking but you couldn’t hear any of his words. He wasn’t this apathetic. You had both watched a city full of civilians turn to dust. You knew he wasn’t okay an neither were you.
“Enough with illusions Loki.” You said sharply. “If you want to keep playing these damn games I’m leaving.”
Sighing heavily, he softly shook his head but complied, not daring lose your much needed company.
His chambers appeared then-but differently. Loki was slumped down against the wall below the sole window in the room, hair unkempt and furniture broken. Only two other times had he broken down so far, and one was when Frigga had been murdered.
His feet bare and bloody from the broken glass around him. An ottoman upside down an a chair broken at its legs. Loki’s fragile face was dimly lit as his back remained pressed against the window. His shoulders heaved as his fists clenched. His cheeks were pale, eyes blood shot red.
He still didn’t speak so you walked over to him and knelt in front of him, parting his knees to let you closer. As his head rolled forward, his eyes blinked closed briefly before winding tightly shut.
“Slow down, you’re doing fine.” You breathed. “You can’t be everything you want before your time.” You lifted your fingers to his cheek.
His face was still hot from the rage exerted from his outburst an your fingers were cool. He shuddered under your touch as his eyes twitched closed. Small wrinkles at the sides of his eyes looked like crow prints, formed from anxieties.
His hand slid over yours as his fingers enclosed around your own. Loki pressed your hand deeper into his skin as his breathing slowed. Pressing a gentle kiss to the palm of your hand, he held it still but to his chest.
His head rolled back and rested on the window frame.
“We lost so many of our people today. Women and children. Families were destroyed.” He spoke lowly, squeezing your hand tighter.
“I know, Loki. I couldn’t believe my eyes.” You whispered. “You need to lead the people from here, we will protect them from here.” You reassured both him as well as yourself.
“That was unacceptable. I never should have let it happen-”
“You didn’t let anything happen, Loki. You were saving other families an other lives. I’m sorry but you aren’t omnipotent, as powerful as you are-you are not all powerful.” You spoke sternly. “I’m sorry you have to suffer this way but too bad, it’s the life you lead. You’re so ahead of yourself that you forgot what you need. Though you can see when you’re wrong, you know you can’t always see when you’re right.” You shook your head again as you held his hands.
“Loki, the hard truth is that you can’t make up for whatever has been done in the passed, but what happened today-it wasn’t your fault.” You continued, “That being said, you di do an unspeakable amount of good for many Asgardians today. You served as their protector, love.” You smiled gently.
“And what about tomorrow? What about those I can not save months from now? There’s no time to waste- ”
“Hush.” You interrupted him, before standing and pulling him up with you. “The worst is over Loki, the Jotunhiem expelled, Asgard safe. You are safe.” You put his face in your hands and pressed your forehead to his. “Where’s the fire, what’s the hurry about? Hm? You’d better cool it off before you burn out.” You chuckled softly as you kissed his lips chastely and pulled away from him. “You’ve got so much to do, so many plans and only so many hours in a day-”
Finally cracking, he smiled softly as you guided him to the small bed and sat him down there. Positioning yourself between his legs, you stood in front of him. “-but so many days to come.
“You may be a God, but your energy and power are not without their limits, my love.”
He wrapped his hands around your waist and pulled you down into him. Ashes began to cover the window sill as the world around you fell silent. Loki peppered your skin with kisses fervently, as though he were afraid you would turn to dust in his grasp.
“I’m not going anywhere, Loki.” You assured him of his unspoken worry.
“I know-but I feel as though I’d be a fool not to take advantage of every possible moment I have with you, my dear.” He smiled weakly, you could still see the fear in his blue eyes.
“There are so many moments to come-and infinite amount actually.” You giggled as you kissed him.
Your lips moved together, desperate to get closer. Your fingers pulled at his neck and shirt, eager to feel his warmth. His fingers ran through your hair and pulled at your waist, needing you near. His hands gripped your waist as he rolled over you and mounted himself above you.
“What, you aren’t satisfied with my kisses?” You quipped through a laugh.
“I’m never satisfied, its not in my nature.” He grinned, and for the first time that night you could see a glimmer in his eyes.
“Oh, but don’t you know that only fools are satisfied?“
“Well, I guess if we’re going to split hairs-” He pursed his lips in faux ponder, “I must be a fool. A fool in love, because I am hopelessly satisfied with every moment I share with your being.” He purred in sincerity.
You pulled him down into you as you laughed softly into the crook of his neck.
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A/N:This is kind of a song fic. I incorporated the lyrics from the song “Vienna” by Billy Joel, quotes in my story that are in italics are lyrics. It is my favorite song I definitely suggest you listen :) 
 [listen to Vienna here, read the lyrics here], please let me know what you think of this. I’ve never done a song fic before so id like to know how i did
I also have very few requests and none for headcanons, so please send some in. i need some stuff to spark some inspo! i do Gotham and then Marvel(Mostly Loki but I can do any avenger) and Supernatural! So PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE submit some requests for a variety of characters :)
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girlsbtrs ¡ 3 years ago
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Growing Up One Step Behind Lorde
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Written By Lila Danielsen Wong. Graphic by Paula Nicole. 
It’s late July of 2015. It’s a little past two a.m. and I’m in the basement of my parents house. My parents left me home alone for a night, so I did what any newly 16-year-old would do; I got a bottle of cheap vodka from someone’s older brother and threw my very first small party. Two of my closest friends are sleeping inches away. Out of my cheap drugstore headphones come a slow synth build, sounding distant and underwater. It erupts into a pulse, just too fast to be a heartbeat. Lorde’s “Ribs” pushes on in all its teenage glory. “Mom and Dad let me stay home,” she tells me before confiding “it drives you crazy getting old.” In the next pre-chorus this morphs into the more tender, “I’ve never felt more alone, it feels so scary getting old.” 
Before a live performance of “Ribs” in 2014, barely 18-year-old Lorde tells the audience that she wrote this song about a big party she had when her parents left town when she was 16. She was with her best friend afterwards at 4 a.m. unsuccessfully trying to go to sleep. He asked her what was wrong, and she said, regarding the party, “There’s something really crazy about throwing a party like this and doing something this huge. It feels grown up, and it feels like a rite of passage, and that's cool. It's cool to do stuff for the first time, but it also really freaks me out because once you do something that feels grown up it's really hard to come back, and if you've only ever been a kid the thought of having to be an adult is really terrifying.”
Three years after Lorde had this conversation with her friend, I’m sitting in my own basement all the way across the world after my own party listening to that very song and letting every word vibrate through my entire self. It feels so scary getting old, but hearing a girl from suburban New Zealand say exactly what I was thinking makes me feel a little bit less “so alone.”
In 2013, Ella Yelich O’Connor wrote an EP called The Love Club with local musician Joel Little and put it on Soundcloud under the name Lorde. To the surprise of both of them, it blew up. After collecting 60,000 downloads, UMG released it commercially and it managed to hit the charts in New Zealand and Australia. However, it was the release of “Royals” as a radio single that put Lorde on the international radar. 
“Royals” was penned as a sort of wry defiance to celebrity culture and a call out to it’s disconnect from the general public. She noticed that many popular musicians based their clout on trashing hotel rooms and diamond watches, and this was so removed from her and her friends, at a house party not knowing if they would get a ride home. “Royals” and The Love Club EP were followed by Lorde’s debut album, Pure Heroine, a collection of songs about “the feeling of being [her] age” and “the weird social issues that come with being a teenager.” 
After her global success made her visible worldwide, those who would be attracted to listen beyond “Royals” and become fans were fellow teens at fellow parties who also were “counting dollars on the train to the party”. 
In 2017, Lorde released Melodrama. If  Pure Heroine is about what it’s like to be a teenager, Melodrama captures life as a fledgling adult. Lorde has said that Melodrama is an album about a break up. She also has called it a concept album about a house party, telling The New York Times “it’s a record about being alone. The good parts and the bad parts.” 
This release coincided with my high school graduation. It was the soundtrack of my final months of childhood and what I listened to through the transition to the next phase of life. 
I spent my first year after high school in my hometown. I remember sitting in my house in September after all my friends had left for college and listening to “Liability”. My parents had left for a weekend trip and I was home alone, this time with no one to invite over. “Liability” is the second single from Melodrama. It’s a stripped piano ballad about the depths of insecurity, driving people away until you find yourself startlingly alone. “Every perfect summer’s eating me alive until you’re gone,” she sings; getting older comes stark changes in social circles and lifestyles, some of which can leave periods of time in which you find yourself startlingly alone.
I related to these feelings of disconnect and isolation and felt the song intimately just as I had felt “Ribs” two years earlier. Whereas the loneliness in “Ribs“ was the feeling of distance from everything you know when you’re on the cusp of adulthood; this loneliness comes from the other side of this cusp, when you look up and everything has changed. Melodrama ushered me into adulthood, and Lorde was like a voice from the future reassuring me that this was normal. If two years ahead of me Lorde the international star was sitting in a taxi feeling the exact same way I was feeling, then perhaps this happens to everyone and is just part of growing up. 
The following summer, after a party I helped someone else host, I put on “Ribs” before I went to bed and was surprised to find that it didn’t “vibrate through my entire self” anymore. That stage of coming of age had come and gone for me. 
The parties in Melodrama had grown up too; we’re no longer worried about getting caught by our parents. “Green Light,” the lead single, Lorde described as a song about the girl at the party who is a crying mess but doesn't seem to care. “Sober” asks about the morning after; “But what will we do when we’re sober?” “Liability” is looking in the mirror and not feeling so great about who you are and where you are. Growing up is reframed as self-discovery, mainly through the common young adult experience of a house party. 
Sometimes, this is where I lose her. 
In “Sober II” she cites the “glamour and the trauma,” and my life is nowhere near “glamourous”. The desperate feverishness of these more grown up parties of Melodrama are not what my life looked like. At the end of the day, I was reminded that she’s a pop star who already has her life financially set for her, and I was a college student with a limited social life and a whole lot of homework. 
I wonder if I am just ready for the next album to usher me into the next phase of my life, or if this is this where our paths diverge.
Although the reception of “Solar Power” has been relatively positive, some fans noticed that the new single was missing some of the, well, angst of her previous catalogue. This is especially striking because for a lot of us this year has been somewhere on the spectrum of angsty to agonizing. Her most recent release, “Stoned at the Nail Salon,” ponders the nature of being settled. This second release contextualized not only “Solar Power,” but also why some fans may be feeling a little disconnected from her newest era. I listen to Lorde talk about how she loves her quiet, stable life, with “the vine hangin' over the door, and the dog who comes when [she] calls” from the corner of my sublet of someone’s living room, which I rent as I apply for yet another job that isn’t really hiring because of covid or is going to be taken by one of the millions of 2020 and 2021 graduates who got a serious delay on their quest for the peace and stability Lorde is talking about. This is not to say that me or any of her other listeners won’t relate to her new music, especially as she sprinkles in lines such “as all the music you loved at sixteen, you'll grow out of”, but it’s still up in the air whether or not the fact that she is a wealthy pop singer from New Zealand will finally effect her ability to “vibrate souls” of her younger fan base like she once did. 
Lorde’s fanbase is just enough younger than her that, so far, once she has written an album about whatever phase of life she just went through, they are on the cusp of experiencing it. Teenagers are known for their “no one understands me” angst, and growing up one step behind Lorde reminded me how deeply universal the feelings and experiences that came with growing up are. Whether it’s coming from a teenage girl from suburban New Zealand (who must have been way cooler than me because her first party topped mine by about 100 more people) or a full blown star crying in a New York taxi, Lorde captured the most intimate moments of youth, offered them as a preview of the next age to her young fan base, and gently reassured them that these glimpses of fear and loneliness are perhaps what unites us as humans who are slowly but somehow rapidly getting older. However, how much longer will her experiences be this universal? As an artist whose fan base is largely built around her ability to connect and relate, will she be able to maintain this intimate connection as her life looks significantly different from most of the people she entertains? Perhaps the appeal of the Solar Power era will be more in the preview of the growing security of your mid-late twenties. Perhaps none of the differences of her lifestyle and her fan base will matter, because she will continue doing what she does best, stripping memories down to their universal truths, and feeding them back to a slightly younger generation with just a bit of dramatic lighting. 
Sources:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lorde
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88oR5GjjZ6k
https://genius.com/Lorde-royals-lyrics
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/arts-and-entertainment/wp/2013/10/24/5-things-to-know-about-lorde/?utm_term=.1072aea0ec9c
https://www.nytimes.com/2017/04/12/magazine/the-return-of-lorde.html
https://www.thenation.com/article/lorde-grows-up/
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webbygraphic001 ¡ 4 years ago
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Why AI & Automation Are Actually Friends to Design
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Artificial intelligence. Just hearing the phrase has been a trigger for many in the technology world since that creepy Haley Joel Osment film circa 2001. But more recently, artificial intelligence and machine learning strike fear into the hearts of skilled workers for an entirely different reason: job security, or lack thereof.
Smart-home devices, streaming services, self-checkouts, even Google searches are ways that artificial intelligence has seeped into everyday life, exemplifying the abilities of computers and machines to master both simple and complex tasks. In some instances, these technological advancements make our lives easier, but for some people, their proliferation has meant job loss and skill replacement. There’s no wonder that when artificial intelligence starts being mentioned along with web design and site creation, the spidey senses of designers all over the world start tingling.
designers think outside the box, something that AI just can’t do
But let’s get real about what AI and automation really mean for designers for a second. Talented designers with busy schedules should view these advancements as virtual assistants. For some small businesses on a limited budget, the websites that artificial intelligence can pump out might be fine…for a while. However, as businesses grow, change, require updating and customization to adapt to their customer base, the expertise of creative and talented designers will always be needed. Even the best AI that we see today is limited by evaluating, replicating, and revising what already exists. It may be able to mix 1,000 different color schemes into 10 million potential combinations, but great designers think outside the box, something that AI just can’t do.
In fact, rather than being scared of automation, designers ought to embrace automation and artificial intelligence as a way to unleash their creative thinking. Delegate repetitive, straightforward tasks to the right software, and suddenly you have time to bring your best ideas to the table and push the boundaries of your own innovation. 
Where AI has Failed in Design
The ultimate goal of artificial intelligence and automation in design work is a grand vision that has yet to be realised.
Consider the case of The Grid, which began as a crowdfunding campaign in 2014. The “revolutionary” product posed itself as an artificial intelligence solution for building thoughtfully, yet automatically, designed websites in five minutes. Research “Reviews of the Grid” in any search engine and you’ll be met with scathing criticism with only some small praise sprinkled in. Most of the initial users cite underwhelming results, the feeling of being duped by the Grid’s marketing tactics, nonsensical placement of text, and ultimately, the Grid being a complete waste of money for the resulting product. Even at the low cost of $100, compared to hiring a talented designer, most users felt their investment was wasted.
For the AI capabilities that exist now, most small business owners, or those looking to put together a simple website, are better off using drag and drop site builders (Wix, Squarespace, Weebly, etc) that have been around for ages. Even so, there are plenty of businesses still willing to hire designers to take this simple task off their plate due to a lack of technical expertise or lack of time. And let’s be honest, are there even enough talented (keyword here!) designers out there to keep up with the millions of websites created every year, without each one working themselves to death? 
Where Automation Shines for Designers
Fortunately for good designers, it appears for now that the days of artificial intelligence completely taking over their jobs is a fantasy. However, what AI and automation do offer designers is a solid starting point for success, eliminating much of the lower-level grunt work that most designers would rather skip anyway.
Even well-received AI website builders like Firedrop still require a basic eye for design and specialised knowledge to produce truly unique, high-converting, and user-friendly websites. Tools and practices that designers should adopt are the artificial intelligence and automation resources that will help them do their jobs better, faster, and leave them with more time to focus on project elements that AI cannot accomplish on its own.
Bridging the Gap Between Designers and Developers
Well-established brands are likely to already have design systems in place that guide the creation of new elements across their digital profiles whether on social media, various mobile apps, or different sections of a website. But even in large corporations — excepting those who have perfected the process — there’s often a breakdown between a designer’s vision and resulting product from the developers. It stems from the basic difference in how they each approach their work and the limitations of the systems they use.
While component libraries — or even full design systems for that matter — won’t reconcile every question, they provide both developers and designers a source of truth to work from that both parties can understand. Design collaboration tools like Invision and Visme, specifically, keep designers and developers on the same page with automated version saving and code-friendly workflows.  
Understanding the Consumer
I don’t suggest using artificial intelligence to produce content for your site
Digging into and understanding the behaviours and habits of site users is a relatively new component of site design, but offers invaluable insights. Tools like HotJar, Mouseflow, or Smartlook make it simple to see holes or leaks in your conversion funnels, detect which page elements users are interacting with, and which they’re not interested in to refine the look and feel of a page for maximum conversions. Even though these tools provide the data, it still takes a keen eye and understanding of design to implement the right changes to improve site performance.
Site content is another way that artificial intelligence has the potential to improve our understanding of customer behaviour and improve site performance for individual users. I don’t suggest using artificial intelligence to produce content for your site, no matter how much the results have improved. However, static landing pages or a single set of further reading recommendations are unlikely to appeal to the majority of site visitors. Artificial intelligence tools like CliClap and Personyze instantly collect and analyse consumer data to provide dynamic, personalised experiences that drive more leads and encourage conversions. Creative designers will also learn from this data to improve customer experience with other pages or elements throughout the site.
Removing Distracting, Time-Sucking Administrative Tasks
Because “artificial intelligence” has become a term with such negative connotations, we often overlook the simple way that AI actually makes our work lives better and easier. Machine learning in email filtering is a great example of this. Consider a simple interface like a Gmail inbox. We have the option to mark certain senders as spam or as important, and our inbox learns that type of communication is and isn’t useful to the user. Pandora, Spotify, Apple Music, and more all take cues from the user behaviour of liking a certain song, artists, or genre of music to build customised playlists. There are a myriad of ways that artificial intelligence and its branches of disciplines merge with our everyday lives. 
Some of the most useful automations for business, and especially for designers, are related to the administrative tasks that frequently take time away or distract from more pressing projects. A perfect example of automation that can relieve stress and cut down on mindless work is an email autoresponder. I’ve always found that having time blocked off in my calendar to tackle complex or important projects helps me to focus on the task at hand and be more efficient. In order to more effectively block out my time, closing my email and setting an autoresponder to reply to all incoming emails serves two purposes: 
Lets those trying to get in touch with me know that I only check my email at certain times of the day and that my response may not be immediate — tempering their expectations of when they might hear from me.
Relieves my personal stress of being tethered to my inbox, splitting my focus, and also saves the time of having to initially respond to each email individually. 
This is just one simple way to use automation in your email, although there are many others to explore.
While Zapier isn’t the only workflow automation service on the market, it’s probably the most well known. Workflow automation reduces time spent on mind-numbing, repetitive tasks and helps designers connect apps that might not natively work together. Do you keep a task list in Todoist? Set up a Zap, then create a task in Todoist anytime someone mentions you on Asana or assigns you a task in Trello.
This is especially helpful for freelance designers who work with multiple clients across various project management platforms. The potential for automation to relieve unnecessary mental overhead for designers is nearly limitless.
Don’t be Afraid of AI, Embrace It
The bottom line of this brief overview of artificial intelligence and automation in design is that this emerging technology isn’t something designers should be scared of. In fact, it’s something to welcome with open arms because ultimately it can make our jobs, and our lives, better. Leave the monotonous tasks of collecting and analysing huge amounts of data or administrative minutiae to the machines; they can handle it.
Save the interesting, creative, abstract work for the talented designers who can turn AI recommendations into unique and intuitive digital experiences. Making the relationship between artificial intelligence and design symbiotic will yield the best results for every entity involved: the business, the AI, and yes, even the designer.
  Featured image via Unsplash.
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bondsmagii ¡ 7 years ago
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here’s the rest of those questions because I can’t resist a challenge
1: Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora?
I don’t actually use any of them... used to use Spotify until it betrayed me by capping me at 10hrs of music a month. like bitch I listen to 10hrs in a day lmao. at the time I couldn’t even afford the small monthly charge so I stopped using it and now my petty ass won’t give them a penny.
2: is your room messy or clean?
clean but cluttered. there’s nothing gross like trash or used plates, but there’s a lot of random stacks of paper, books, notes, etc. it’s alright at the moment seems there’s been a recent tidy, but usually it’s very cluttered.
3: what color are your eyes?
green! I also have heterochromia, so there’s a thin ring of brown around both irises, and a small slice of brown in one eye.
5: what is your relationship status? 
dating @karlacton​ and have been since 2015!
7: what color hair do you have?
it’s black, which is pretty cool. emo me loved it.
8: what kind of car do you drive? color?
I drive a renault and it’s silver!
9: where do you shop?
like.. for what? groceries? clothes? books? because aside from “tesco” I couldn’t tell you, it’s usually all online. if I’m splashing out on books I’ll go to Waterstone’s.
11: favorite social media account
I hate them all. release me.
12: what size bed do you have?
a queen, I think? or a double? I don’t even know if there’s a difference.
13: any siblings?
one older brother, deceased.
15: favorite snapchat filter?
I don’t have snapchat.
16: favourite makeup brand(s)
I don’t know shit about makeup.
17: how many times a week do you shower?
it sounds bad because it averages out to three or four times a week, but when you remember that my days are frequently 36-48hrs long, it averages out to about every other day.
18: favorite tv show?
I don’t own a TV or keep up with much shows, but I do binge-watch Brooklyn Nine-Nine.
19: shoe size?
uk size 7.
21: sandals or sneakers?
sneakers. fuck sandals.
22: do you go to the gym?
lmao
23: describe your dream date
good food, scary movies, urbexing, driving around to good music, more good food. an equal balance of opportunity to talk and opportunity to see if the silence is comfortable.
24: how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment?
I don’t carry cash. or a wallet, for that matter.
25: what color socks are you wearing?
black.
27: do you have a job? what do you do?
I do, but I can’t go into specific details. it’s to do with computers and security.
28: how many friends do you have?
I got no fucking clue my dude. depending on the definition of friend, anywhere between 2 to 15 or so.
29: what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done?
you’d probably have to ask somebody else if I’m honest, I don’t have a good grasp of what’s actually bad or not lol. there’s stuff I might consider bad for a while, but then I get over it and stop seeing it as such a big deal. there’s some stuff that might count from a legal standpoint, in terms of like I don’t know, how seriously it would be taken, but I’m not sure of the statute of limitations on it so fuck if I’m mentioning it.
32: 3 favorite girl names?
saoirse, vesper, oksana
35: who is your celebrity crush?
bitch colin firth
37: do you read a lot? what’s your favorite book?
I read a hell of a lot, usually between 2-4 books at the same time. as for favourites I have way too many, so if you wan recs keep an eye on my reading list and see what I’m screaming about.
38: money or brains?
brains. if you play your cards right, brains can get money.
39: do you have a nickname? what is it?
people who know me in other places call me Rat, either because I like the animal or because of the hacker from The Core; people who know me from the SCP Foundation call me Konny or Kon, after the character.
41: top 10 favorite songs
right now: 
Space Oddity by David Bowie
Never Quite Free by The Mountain Goats
We Didn’t Start the Fire by Billy Joel
The Longest Time by Billy Joel
Brothers on a Hotel Bed by Death Cab For Cutie
Blame by Bastille
Tomorrow Will Be Kinder by The Secret Sisters
Nothing to Remember by Neko Case
All Alright by fun.
The Spine Song by Cake Bake Betty
this changes like, daily, by the way.
42: do you take any medications daily?
nope.
43: what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc)
normal? bit dry in some places at the moment though, but it always is at this time of the year -- the cold air coming down from the mountains will blast freeze anyone’s skin.
44: what is your biggest fear? 
the current rise in fascism erupting into another world war or holocaust.
45: how many kids do you want?
ideally I would have wanted two or three, but life circumstances have made it so it’s best I don’t have children, unfortunately.
47: what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) 
the place in scotland is a three-bedroom flat which is quite large. the place in london is a two-bedroom flat which is slightly smaller but still big for that area of london.
48: who is your role model?
writing-wise, john le carrĂŠ and stephen king. life-wise, kim philby for the scamming and productivity, and lord byron for the scandal.
49: what was the last compliment you received?
I can’t even remember. probably something to do with my writing, as I’ve been sharing that with some people recently.
51: how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real?
santa is real my good bitch
52: what is your dream car? 
literally no idea.
53: opinion on smoking?
I smoke occasionally and don’t care if people choose to or not, however I support the smoking ban in public areas and I will be an asshole and cough loudly if you blow it directly in my face.
54: do you go to college? 
graduated.
55: what is your dream job?
anything fast-paced, high-risk, and that requires me to constantly keep learning and improving myself to keep up.
58: do you have freckles? 
some in the summer, across my nose and cheeks.
60: how many pictures do you have on your phone? 
a couple of hundred.
61: have you ever peed in the woods? 
absolutely. it’s a necessity when homeless/on road trips.
62: do you still watch cartoons? 
nope.
63: do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds?
never been to Wendy’s so McDonalds by default. love me some McNuggets.
65: what do you wear to bed? 
sweatpants, an old t-shirt, and a hoodie. it’s the mountains, I need to wrap up.
66: have you ever won a spelling bee?
nah, we don’t have them here but I did come top of my class during spelling tests all through primary school.
67: what are your hobbies?
reading, writing, photography, urban exploring, paranormal research, soviet history, researching espionage, meteorology, a whole load of things.
70: what was the last concert you saw? 
florence and the machine probably.
71: tea or coffee?
both depending on my mood, though I go through stages of drinking one more than the other. right now I drink more coffee than tea.
72: Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts?
never been to Dunkin Donuts, so Starbucks.
73: do you want to get married?
one day, hopefully.
74: what is your crush’s first and last initial?
CF, take a wild guess lmao
75: are you going to change your last name when you get married?
acton and I have discussed if we ever get married, finding a cool name we both like to change our last names to. so maybe.
76: what color looks best on you? 
green.
77: do you miss anyone right now? 
not really, to be honest. I don’t miss people often. I might have moments of oh, I wish they were still in my life, but it’s never a constant thing, thankfully. it sounds like it would be a drag.
78: do you sleep with your door open or closed?
closed right now, we need all the heat conservation we can get.
79: do you believe in ghosts?
hell yeah I do. had lots of experiences too!
81: last person you called
my boss?
82: favorite ice cream flavor? 
mint choc chip.
83: regular oreos or golden oreos? 
regular.
84: chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? 
both.
86: what is your phone background?
lmao it’s a picture of julian assange because I live to annoy him.
87: are you outgoing or shy?
I’m very outgoing. a lot of people think I’m shy but actually I just go through stages of being really anti-social.
89: do you like your neighbors? 
I have no major issues with them but they’re a weird bunch. the downstairs neighbour I’m pretty sure is a ghost, and the neighbours across the way are so strange. they do DIY in the dead of night and several of them just sit in their cars at 3am with the lights on, staring at nothing. odd.
90: do you wash your face? at night? in the morning?
when I shower, or if I have something on it. I don’t have a routine.
91: have you ever been high? 
yes.
92: have you ever been drunk? 
way too many times.
95: summer or winter? 
aesthetically? winter. in terms of not feeling suicidal all the time? summer.
96: day or night? 
night. I’m a night hoe.
99: what is your zodiac sign
aquarius, watch out. 
100: who was the last person you cried in front of? 
no one bitch... I don’t cry
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notesonnewyork ¡ 7 years ago
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Moving Forward in a “Vanishing New York”
With this week’s release of his new book Vanishing New York: How a Great City Lost Its Soul [2017], Jeremiah Moss has brought himself to a great precipice of choice. Will this put an end to his 10-year-old blog Jeremiah’s Vanishing New York? Is documenting the losses of neighborhood stores, restaurants, and apartment buildings now to be done in some longer guise of prose? More importantly, will the book's publication and corresponding reveal of his non-pseudonymous blog identity free him up for new types of activism? He’s written extensively about New York “in the process of going extinct,” but is this the moment he leads a more public campaign to steer the city in a different direction?
I know, I’m being quite heady, right? Well, with mayoral candidate Sal Albanese and hundreds of others in attendance at Mr. Moss’ release party tonight at the Housing Works Bookstore in SoHo, these questions are felicitous. I’m not sure Moss knows what to do with all this attention yet, but I hope he gets this: many of us New Yorkers—I’m including myself, especially—are quite grateful for his blog and exceedingly proud that he was able to fashion it all into a book. Since discovering his blog in 2009, I have made it as indispensable to my daily routine as having lunch. You know that timeworn Billy Joel song “New York State of Mind” where he goes
It was so easy livin’ day by day Out of touch with the rhythm and blues But now I need a little give and take The New York Times, The Daily News
Well, if I was Joel and could drag that paean from 1976 into 2017, I’d replace the last line with “Jeremiah’s Vanishing New York” and a few of the other outstanding daily blogs of our time. They each type out the gestating pulse of the city. If you really want to know what’s happening here, look no further. They’ll tell you, and often more clearly than the conventional media will. They push me longingly into that New York state of mind.
As Mr. Moss began reading from his book’s introduction, “One of the great tragedies of my life was that I had the misfortune to arrive in New York at the beginning of its end,” he struggled to find his next sentence under the glare of the spotlights. The mighty impingements were bouncing off the book’s binding and shooting prisms across his glasses. He interrupted himself to tell us as much. Suddenly, he flipped the book jacket onto the floor of the stage. “I’m complaining, but that’s what I do, right?” And the audience erupted in laughter and sprinkled applause. Perhaps we saw that persona we recognized—the one that The New York Times once notably declared had “a penchant for apocalyptic bombast”—and responded in kind. But with its return, Mr. Moss was visibly less nervous and dove back into his prologue: “I was twenty-two years old, and already too late….”
I was surprised to learn that “nobody wanted [his] book—nobody.” With all the memoirs of New York imparted upon us the past few years, his subject is tailor-made to join the likes of Patti Smith’s Kids, James Wolcott’s Lucking Out, or Bill Hayes’ Insomniac City. But, for whatever reason, the only publisher with any interest was HarperCollins. In fact, he even had trouble finding anyone to get the word out about his release. “I’m on my fourth and best publicist now,” he quipped.
He also disclosed that his whole journey from blogging to book-writing began less than auspiciously. He originally wanted to be a poet. “For me this [whole thing] started as taking pictures of streetscapes and the things [in my East Village neighborhood] that had vanished.” As to why he finally chose to dissemble himself as the one behind the “Jeremiah Moss” moniker, he said, “I wanted to be here and present and the pseudonym was limiting me in what I could participate in.” He further disclosed that the dreariest moment of writing his blog occurred when Cafe Edison in Times Square was forced to close back in 2014: “I cried by myself in a booth there for three straight nights.”
However, during the Q & A session after his reading, one of those “precipice questions” I opened this piece with returned. After noting the lack of people of color in Mr. Moss’ audience, an inquisitor very poignantly asked “How do you express your book to [them]?” and, by extension, your blog? Mr. Moss replied that he often “writes about the racist underpinnings of gentrification,” but acknowledged that his crowd is mostly white “probably because I live in Lower Manhattan” and primarily “focus on what I see” in the East Village.
That comment got me thinking. With all the diverse individuals and groups across the five boroughs fighting the replacement politics of gentrification—from the Greenwich Village Society for Historic Preservation to Welcome2TheBronx and Preserving East New York to the Greater Astoria Historical Society and the Preservation League of Staten Island—when is everyone finally going to join forces? Since everyone is advocating for things independently, isn’t it only logical that coming together as one activist movement is the best way forward? The amount of people that could be rallied for something like that might not only be substantial, but also marshall the vast racial, economic, geographical, and religious medley of New York for one cause. But is there anyone among us who could single-handedly connect all these groups? Would the majority really want to work with one another? Could Mr. Moss have a leading role to play? Well, possibly. As he confessed:
I don’t know how to reach out to others. We need to figure out how to do that…. I would love to have a real forum with panels where people can get together and form coalitions and get some shit done.
-----
(Photos by Riff Chorusriff. The scene inside the Housing Works Bookstore Cafe at 126 Crosby Street. July 27, 2017.)
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networkingdefinition ¡ 5 years ago
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Garlic Quotes
Official Website: Garlic Quotes
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• A basic all-purpose rub: mix together one or two tablespoons equal parts black pepper, granulated garlic, grilled onion, and onion powder. That will give you real good base for any kind of meat. Just increase the amount if you’re grilling large quantities. – Johnny Trigg • A garlic caress is stimulating. A garlic excess soporific. – Curnonsky • A gold standard is to the moochers and looters in government what sunlight and garlic are to vampires. – Herman Cain • A good hamburger mix: add equal parts black pepper, granulated garlic, grilled onion, onion powder and some chopped onion. And mix in a little barbecue sauce, which will add even more great flavor. – Johnny Trigg • A plot without action is like pasta without garlic, like Dolly Parton without cleavage, and like a writer without his similes. – Dean Koontz
• After waking up, I take my vitamins and eat fruit or, sometimes, bread with garlic, which is good for your health. – Jordi Molla • And if you worry that not finishing the food on your plate is a slap in the face of all the hungry people everywhere, you are not living in reality. The truth is that you either throw the food out or you throw it in, but either way it turns to waste. World hunger will not be solved by finishing the garlic mashed potatoes on your plate. – Geneen Roth • Animals have rights, to be smothered with garlic and butter! – Ted Nugent • As a rule they will refuse even to sample a foreign dish, they regard such things as garlic and olive oil with disgust, life is unliveable to them unless they have tea and puddings. – George Orwell • Avoid at all costs that vile spew you see rotting in oil in screwtop jars. Too lazy to peel fresh? You don’t deserve to eat garlic. – Anthony Bourdain
  jQuery(document).ready(function($) var data = action: 'polyxgo_products_search', type: 'Product', keywords: 'Garlic', orderby: 'rand', order: 'DESC', template: '1', limit: '68', columns: '4', viewall:'Shop All', ; jQuery.post(spyr_params.ajaxurl,data, function(response) var obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); jQuery('#thelovesof_garlic').html(obj); jQuery('#thelovesof_garlic img.swiper-lazy:not(.swiper-lazy-loaded)' ).each(function () var img = jQuery(this); img.attr("src",img.data('src')); img.addClass( 'swiper-lazy-loaded' ); img.removeAttr('data-src'); ); ); ); • Beetroot, garlic, lemon … and buy a bottle of olive oil. All these things are very critical. – Manto Tshabalala-Msimang • Danger is to adventure what garlic is to spaghetti sauce. Without it, you just end up with stewed tomatoes. – Tom Robbins • Do not eat garlic or onions; for their smell will reveal that you are a peasant. – Miguel de Cervantes • Do you guys have any raw garlic? – Shailene Woodley
• Following the Rumanian tradition, garlic is used in excess to keep the vampires away… Following the Jewish tradition, a dispenser of schmaltz (liquid chicken fat) is kept on the table to give the vampires heartburn if they get through the garlic defense. – Calvin Trillin
[clickbank-storefront-bestselling] • For a rub with sweet tang: mix just a little bit of light brown sugar to garlic pepper, black pepper, and onion powder. – Johnny Trigg • Garlic bread – it’s the future, I’ve tasted it. – Peter Kay • Garlic is as good as ten mothers. – Les Blank • Garlic is divine. Few food items can taste so many distinct ways, handled correctly. Misuse of garlic is a crime…Please, treat your garlic with respect…Avoid at all costs that vile spew you see rotting in oil in screwtop jars. Too lazy to peel fresh? You don’t deserve to eat garlic. – Anthony Bourdain • Garlic, like perfume, must be used with discretion and on the proper occasions. – Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings • Garlick maketh a man wynke, drynke, and stynke. – Thomas Nash • Hatred, for the man who is not engaged in it, is a little like the odor of garlic for one who hasn’t eaten any. – Jean Rostand • He added that a Frenchman in the train had given him a great sandwich that so stank of garlic that he had been inclined to throw it at the fellow’s head. – Ford Madox Ford • Home-made bread rubbed with garlic and sprinkled with olive oil, shared-with a flask of wine-between working people, can be more convivial than any feast. – Patience Gray • I always get nervous before a kissing scene. I make sure I always brush my teeth and eat lots of fruit and nice foods rather than garlic. I’m terribly self conscious. – Drew Barrymore • I am very moody when I cook. I cook according to the way I feel at the moment. A little of this, a little of that, and almost always a coupcon of garlic. I never proceed by the rules. – Marcel Tabuteau • I believe in the magic of preparation. You can make just about any foods taste wonderful by adding herbs and spices. Experiment with garlic, cilantro, basil and other fresh herbs on vegetables to make them taste great. – Jorge Cruise • I do a chimichurri sauce with garlic, parsley, olive oil, and red and black pepper. You just mince the garlic and the parsley and mix it all together. Brush a little of that on a steak and it kicks it up, like, 10 notches. – Julie Gonzalo • I don’t want to sound too mystical or weird but it’s important to know what garlic smells like when it’s cooking, or what eggs look like when they’re cracked out of a shell. – Joel Salatin • I had a meal in Pizza Hut and the waitress told me I didn’t need to pay. So I decided to be a bit cheeky and ask for more pizza and garlic bread. – Gareth Gates • I had rather live with cheese and garlic in a windmill. – William Shakespeare • I had the lunchbox that cleared the cafeteria. I was very unpopular in the early grades. Because I hung out with my grandfather, I started to bring my lunchbox with sardine sandwiches and calamari that I would eat off my fingers like rings. I was also always reeking of garlic. – Rachael Ray • I have a trainer who comes three times a week and just listens to me moan… and I keep fit and keep moving… and I do watch what I eat. I am a vegetarian… I can’t eat crazy food. I’m highly allergic to onions and garlic and spices… I’ve never had a pizza, never had a curry. – Ringo Starr • I love garlic, and I use it often. – Eric Ripert • I love to cook. In fact, at this exact moment, I am trying something new: I am cooking a whole chicken in my crockpot, which I’ve never done before. I browned it with garlic powder, salt and pepper, and I put a bunch of celery and onions – which I’ll have to hide from the children because they claim to hate onions – and I’m going to make homemade mashed cream potatoes. I always, before I leave for work in the morning, have supper cooking. That way, when I come home and they come home from school, there’s all kinds of good smells in the house. – Nancy Grace • I panicked when my son, Jett, stopped eating baby food. He’s only two but his food vocabulary is fantastic. He likes my baked tilapia and string beans with chopped garlic. But he really likes pizza. Sometimes every inanimate object to him is pizza. – Jill Scott • I think garlic is absolutely critical. Lemon is absolutely critical to boost the immune system. Olive oil is absolutely critical … just one teaspoon, it will last the whole month. – Manto Tshabalala-Msimang • I use a lot of fresh citrus, garlic, and fresh herbs when cooking to cut down on fat and sodium but punch up flavor. Our cupboards and fridge are full of condiments – mustards, vinegars, etc. that also add tons of flavor but are low in fat, calories, or other processed additives. – Cat Cora • I used to like eating frozen corn straight out of the bag. But I also love microwaving frozen corn and adding butter and sugar and garlic powder and chili powder to it. And sometimes I just like to microwave it and add a little bit of hot sauce to it. My friends always laugh at me when they catch me eating it. – Thu Tran • If Ive gone to the market on Saturday, and I go another time on Tuesday, then Im really prepared. I can cook a little piece of fish; I can wilt some greens with garlic; I can slice tomatoes and put a little olive oil on. Its effortless. – Alice Waters • If stakes and garlic were the top two things that could kill a vampire, ninth grade gym was a close third. – Heather Brewer • If you can smell garlic, everything is all right. – J. G. Ballard • If you like garlic, you’ll like ramps. – Jim Chamberlin • If you thought eighth grade was tough, try it with fangs and a fear of garlic. – Heather Brewer • I’m not a vegetarian, and I like filet minion which is sort of a guilty pleasure because I have vegetarian leanings. I eat that once in a while, but generally speaking I like to eat vegetarian things. I really like pasta. I really like bread with olive oil and garlic and I like salads. – Jesse Michaels • I’m particularly fond of boned chicken breasts with a little garlic under the flesh and cooked in a casserole for 40 minutes with a jar of olives, some cherry tomatoes and a spoonful of olive oil. – Maeve Binchy • In Manhasset you were either Yankees or Mets, rich or poor, sober or drunk…You were ‘Gaelic’ or ‘garlic,” as one schoolmate told me, and I couldn’t admit, to him or myself, that I had both Irish and Italian ancestors. – J. R. Moehringer • In Pizza Express you can get garlic bread with cheese and tomato. Now correct me if I’m wrong, but that’s a pizza. – Jimmy Carr • It has been said of garlic that everyone knows its odor save he who has eaten it, and who wonders why everyone flies at his approach. – George Ellwanger • It’s a comfort to always find pasta in the cupboard and garlic and parsley in the garden. – Alice Waters • It’s very freaky in Chicago.There’s something in the water there, I don’t know what it is. But the actual word Chicago means, in the Indian language, garlic. It was just garlic and mosquitoes there. And that is the roughest city on the planet, and I been to every place in the world. – Quincy Jones • Maybe it was a good thing that Bones was putting Don’s remains away instead of me. With my current emotional state, I’d probably think the only safe place for his ashes was tucked inside my clothes next to the garlic and weed. – Jeaniene Frost • Most dear actors, eat no onions nor garlic, for we are to utter sweet breath. – William Shakespeare • My favorite comfort food would have be braised beef. You know, beef, slow-cooked in a Dutch oven or in a slow cooker until it falls apart with simple mushrooms, some onions and lots of fresh thyme and garlic. – Tyler Florence • My favorite is the garlic press. I think it’s beautiful as an object. But the awkward part of it all is that I don’t use it much because I’m allergic to garlic. – Michael Graves • My favorite to cook is this recipe I’ve been making since I was 12 years old with my mom, and it’s an angel hair shrimp pasta with tomatoes, feta, garlic, white wine – it’s so easy but so fresh and so delicious! – Devon Windsor • My final, considered judgment is that the hardy bulb [garlic] blesses and ennobles everything it touches – with the possible exception of ice cream and pie. – Angelo Pellegrini • My mother was making $135 a week, but she had resilience and imagination. She might take frozen vegetables, cook them with garlic, onion and Spam, and it would taste like a four-star dinner. – Andre Dubus • My perfect last meal would be: shrimp cocktail, lasagna, steak, creamed spinach, salad with bleu cheese dressing, onion rings, garlic bread, and a dessert of strawberry shortcake. – Joan Rivers • My wife and I use a lot of garlic and rosemary with roast lamb. It has to be New Zealand lamb. The domestic variety is too gamy, in my experience. – Alfred Molina • Not me, paranoia’s the garlic in life’s kitchen, right, you can never have too much. – Thomas Pynchon • Of the many smells of Athens two seem to me the most characteristic – that of garlic, bold and deadly like acetylene gas. and that of dust, soft and warm and caressing like tweed. – Evelyn Waugh • Or you can broil the meat, fry the onions, stew the garlic in the red wine…and ask me to supper. I’ll not care, really, even if your nose is a little shiny, so long as you are self-possessed and sure that wolf or no wolf, your mind is your own and your heart is another’s and therefore in the right place. – M. F. K. Fisher • Our lives are full of stress. Some meditate, some walk, some sing and dance. Nature offers us garlic, maitake and hibiscus to relieve stress – Gunter Pauli • Peace and happiness, begin, geographically, where garlic is used in cooking. – Marcel Boulestin • Peppers, garlic, hazelnuts and brazil nuts make my mouth, tongue and eyes swell and itch within minutes of eating them. – Andrea McLean • piety is like garlic: a little goes a long way. – Rita Mae Brown • PORTUGUESE, n.pl. A species of geese indigenous to Portugal. They are mostly without feathers and imperfectly edible, even when stuffed with garlic. – Ambrose Bierce • Pounding fragrant things – particularly garlic, basil, parsley – is a tremendous antidote to depression. But it applies also to juniper berries, coriander seeds and the grilled fruits of the chilli pepper. Pounding these things produces an alteration in one’s being – from sighing with fatigue to inhaling with pleasure. The cheering effects of herbs and alliums cannot be too often reiterated. Virgil’s appetite was probably improved equally by pounding garlic as by eating it. – Patience Gray • Raw garlic and a skin of the lemon – not only do they give you a beautiful face and skin but they also protect you from disease. – Manto Tshabalala-Msimang • Some hours after eating this dish [lièvre à la royale, which contains 20 cloves of garlic and twice that quantity of shallots], there is a peculiar sensation of liberation in the head. and it is sensation of smell. – Patience Gray • Stop and smell the garlic! That’s all you have to do. – William Shatner • The air in Provence is impregnated with the aroma of garlic, which makes it very healthful to breathe. – Alexandre Dumas • The Brit abroad is always the voice of caution. Persons of other cultures are known to be undisciplined, prone to leaning out of car windows and cooking with garlic. – Nick Harkaway • The combination of olive oil, garlic and lemon juice lifts the spirits in winter. – Yotam Ottolenghi • The fashion industry isn’t merely content to encase my meaty flanks in skintight denim. Oh, no! That denim also has to be white, a color that attracts ketchup, wine, garlic aioli, and any other foodstuffs I might otherwise be able to enjoy if I wasn’t wearing ridiculously tight pants. – Diablo Cody • The food in such places is so tasteless because the members associate spices and garlic with just the sort of people they’re trying to keep out. – Calvin Trillin • The grotesque prudishness and archness with which garlic is treated in [England] has led to the superstition that rubbing the bowl with it before putting the salad in gives sufficient flavor. It rather depends whether you are going to eat the bowl or the salad. – Elizabeth David • The most annoying person on the BBC is Russell Brand, I’ve actually been close up to that boy. He smells like when you mix garlic with coffee and alcohol. I’m just saying when you get close to him, he could do with a bit of Sure For Men, he stinks. – Noel Gallagher • The most overrated ingredients are garlic and extra-virgin olive oil. With garlic, it’s personal; I have never been that big of a fan of its flavor. As for extra-virgin olive oil, I do use it quite often but its ubiquity serves to overshadow many wonderful oils like pistachio, walnut, argan and even grapeseed. – Lela Rose • The only advice I can give to aspiring writers is don’t do it unless you’re willing to give your whole life to it. Red wine and garlic also helps. – Jim Harrison • The strands of spaghetti were vital, almost alive in my mouth, and the olive oil was singing with flavor. It was hard to imagine that four simple ingredients [olive oil, pasta, garlic and cheese] could marry so perfectly. – Ruth Reichl • The summer has seized you, as when, last month in Amalfi, I saw lemons as large as your desk-side globe-that miniature map of the world-and I could mention, too, the market stalls of mushrooms and garlic bugs all engorged. Or I even think of the orchard next door, where the berries are done and the apples are beginning to swell. And once, with our first backyard,I remember I planted an acre of yellow beans we couldn’t eat. – Anne Sexton • There are five elements: earth, air, fire, water and garlic. – Louis Diat • There are many miracles in the world to be celebrated and, for me, garlic is the most deserving. – Leo Buscaglia • There are three things you cannot hide: smell of the garlic, fragrance of the flower and the wisdom of the teacher. – Harbhajan Singh Yogi • There he got out the luncheon-basket and packed a simple meal, in which, remembering the stranger’s origin and preferences, he took care to include a yard of long French bread, a sausage out of which the garlic sang, some cheese which lay down and cried, and a long-necked straw-covered flask wherein lay bottled sunshine shed and garnered on far Southern slopes. – Kenneth Grahame • There’s no doubt that after you eat a lot of garlic, you just kind of feel like you are floating, you feel ultra-confident, you feel capable of going out and whipping your weight in wild cats. – Les Blank • This Bouillabaisse a noble dish is – A sort of soup or broth, or brew, Or hotchpotch of all sorts of fishes, That Greenwich never could outdo; Green herbs, red peppers, mussels, saffron, Soles, onions, garlic, roach, and dace; All these you eat at Terre’s tavern, In that one dish of Bouillabaisse. – William Makepeace Thackeray • Vlad decided that teachers’ ideas were a lot like bunches of garlic-intriguing from afar, but up close sadly sickening and, if you weren’t careful, DEADLY. – Heather Brewer • Vulgarity is the garlic in the salad of charm. – Cyril Connolly • We have garlic days, and onion days. You know what they’re cooking. – Leslie White • What do you think? Young women of rank eat – you will never guess what – garlick! – Percy Bysshe Shelley • What garlic is to salad, insanity is to art. – Augustus Saint-Gaudens • Without garlic I simply would not care to live. – Louis Diat • You can never have enough garlic. With enough garlic, you can eat The New York Times. – Morley Safer • You’re a monster, Mr. Grinch. Your heart’s an empty hole. Your brain is full of spiders, You’ve got garlic in your soul. – Dr. Seuss
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equitiesstocks ¡ 5 years ago
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Garlic Quotes
Official Website: Garlic Quotes
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• A basic all-purpose rub: mix together one or two tablespoons equal parts black pepper, granulated garlic, grilled onion, and onion powder. That will give you real good base for any kind of meat. Just increase the amount if you’re grilling large quantities. – Johnny Trigg • A garlic caress is stimulating. A garlic excess soporific. – Curnonsky • A gold standard is to the moochers and looters in government what sunlight and garlic are to vampires. – Herman Cain • A good hamburger mix: add equal parts black pepper, granulated garlic, grilled onion, onion powder and some chopped onion. And mix in a little barbecue sauce, which will add even more great flavor. – Johnny Trigg • A plot without action is like pasta without garlic, like Dolly Parton without cleavage, and like a writer without his similes. – Dean Koontz
• After waking up, I take my vitamins and eat fruit or, sometimes, bread with garlic, which is good for your health. – Jordi Molla • And if you worry that not finishing the food on your plate is a slap in the face of all the hungry people everywhere, you are not living in reality. The truth is that you either throw the food out or you throw it in, but either way it turns to waste. World hunger will not be solved by finishing the garlic mashed potatoes on your plate. – Geneen Roth • Animals have rights, to be smothered with garlic and butter! – Ted Nugent • As a rule they will refuse even to sample a foreign dish, they regard such things as garlic and olive oil with disgust, life is unliveable to them unless they have tea and puddings. – George Orwell • Avoid at all costs that vile spew you see rotting in oil in screwtop jars. Too lazy to peel fresh? You don’t deserve to eat garlic. – Anthony Bourdain
  jQuery(document).ready(function($) var data = action: 'polyxgo_products_search', type: 'Product', keywords: 'Garlic', orderby: 'rand', order: 'DESC', template: '1', limit: '68', columns: '4', viewall:'Shop All', ; jQuery.post(spyr_params.ajaxurl,data, function(response) var obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); jQuery('#thelovesof_garlic').html(obj); jQuery('#thelovesof_garlic img.swiper-lazy:not(.swiper-lazy-loaded)' ).each(function () var img = jQuery(this); img.attr("src",img.data('src')); img.addClass( 'swiper-lazy-loaded' ); img.removeAttr('data-src'); ); ); ); • Beetroot, garlic, lemon … and buy a bottle of olive oil. All these things are very critical. – Manto Tshabalala-Msimang • Danger is to adventure what garlic is to spaghetti sauce. Without it, you just end up with stewed tomatoes. – Tom Robbins • Do not eat garlic or onions; for their smell will reveal that you are a peasant. – Miguel de Cervantes • Do you guys have any raw garlic? – Shailene Woodley
• Following the Rumanian tradition, garlic is used in excess to keep the vampires away… Following the Jewish tradition, a dispenser of schmaltz (liquid chicken fat) is kept on the table to give the vampires heartburn if they get through the garlic defense. – Calvin Trillin
[clickbank-storefront-bestselling] • For a rub with sweet tang: mix just a little bit of light brown sugar to garlic pepper, black pepper, and onion powder. – Johnny Trigg • Garlic bread – it’s the future, I’ve tasted it. – Peter Kay • Garlic is as good as ten mothers. – Les Blank • Garlic is divine. Few food items can taste so many distinct ways, handled correctly. Misuse of garlic is a crime…Please, treat your garlic with respect…Avoid at all costs that vile spew you see rotting in oil in screwtop jars. Too lazy to peel fresh? You don’t deserve to eat garlic. – Anthony Bourdain • Garlic, like perfume, must be used with discretion and on the proper occasions. – Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings • Garlick maketh a man wynke, drynke, and stynke. – Thomas Nash • Hatred, for the man who is not engaged in it, is a little like the odor of garlic for one who hasn’t eaten any. – Jean Rostand • He added that a Frenchman in the train had given him a great sandwich that so stank of garlic that he had been inclined to throw it at the fellow’s head. – Ford Madox Ford • Home-made bread rubbed with garlic and sprinkled with olive oil, shared-with a flask of wine-between working people, can be more convivial than any feast. – Patience Gray • I always get nervous before a kissing scene. I make sure I always brush my teeth and eat lots of fruit and nice foods rather than garlic. I’m terribly self conscious. – Drew Barrymore • I am very moody when I cook. I cook according to the way I feel at the moment. A little of this, a little of that, and almost always a coupcon of garlic. I never proceed by the rules. – Marcel Tabuteau • I believe in the magic of preparation. You can make just about any foods taste wonderful by adding herbs and spices. Experiment with garlic, cilantro, basil and other fresh herbs on vegetables to make them taste great. – Jorge Cruise • I do a chimichurri sauce with garlic, parsley, olive oil, and red and black pepper. You just mince the garlic and the parsley and mix it all together. Brush a little of that on a steak and it kicks it up, like, 10 notches. – Julie Gonzalo • I don’t want to sound too mystical or weird but it’s important to know what garlic smells like when it’s cooking, or what eggs look like when they’re cracked out of a shell. – Joel Salatin • I had a meal in Pizza Hut and the waitress told me I didn’t need to pay. So I decided to be a bit cheeky and ask for more pizza and garlic bread. – Gareth Gates • I had rather live with cheese and garlic in a windmill. – William Shakespeare • I had the lunchbox that cleared the cafeteria. I was very unpopular in the early grades. Because I hung out with my grandfather, I started to bring my lunchbox with sardine sandwiches and calamari that I would eat off my fingers like rings. I was also always reeking of garlic. – Rachael Ray • I have a trainer who comes three times a week and just listens to me moan… and I keep fit and keep moving… and I do watch what I eat. I am a vegetarian… I can’t eat crazy food. I’m highly allergic to onions and garlic and spices… I’ve never had a pizza, never had a curry. – Ringo Starr • I love garlic, and I use it often. – Eric Ripert • I love to cook. In fact, at this exact moment, I am trying something new: I am cooking a whole chicken in my crockpot, which I’ve never done before. I browned it with garlic powder, salt and pepper, and I put a bunch of celery and onions – which I’ll have to hide from the children because they claim to hate onions – and I’m going to make homemade mashed cream potatoes. I always, before I leave for work in the morning, have supper cooking. That way, when I come home and they come home from school, there’s all kinds of good smells in the house. – Nancy Grace • I panicked when my son, Jett, stopped eating baby food. He’s only two but his food vocabulary is fantastic. He likes my baked tilapia and string beans with chopped garlic. But he really likes pizza. Sometimes every inanimate object to him is pizza. – Jill Scott • I think garlic is absolutely critical. Lemon is absolutely critical to boost the immune system. Olive oil is absolutely critical … just one teaspoon, it will last the whole month. – Manto Tshabalala-Msimang • I use a lot of fresh citrus, garlic, and fresh herbs when cooking to cut down on fat and sodium but punch up flavor. Our cupboards and fridge are full of condiments – mustards, vinegars, etc. that also add tons of flavor but are low in fat, calories, or other processed additives. – Cat Cora • I used to like eating frozen corn straight out of the bag. But I also love microwaving frozen corn and adding butter and sugar and garlic powder and chili powder to it. And sometimes I just like to microwave it and add a little bit of hot sauce to it. My friends always laugh at me when they catch me eating it. – Thu Tran • If Ive gone to the market on Saturday, and I go another time on Tuesday, then Im really prepared. I can cook a little piece of fish; I can wilt some greens with garlic; I can slice tomatoes and put a little olive oil on. Its effortless. – Alice Waters • If stakes and garlic were the top two things that could kill a vampire, ninth grade gym was a close third. – Heather Brewer • If you can smell garlic, everything is all right. – J. G. Ballard • If you like garlic, you’ll like ramps. – Jim Chamberlin • If you thought eighth grade was tough, try it with fangs and a fear of garlic. – Heather Brewer • I’m not a vegetarian, and I like filet minion which is sort of a guilty pleasure because I have vegetarian leanings. I eat that once in a while, but generally speaking I like to eat vegetarian things. I really like pasta. I really like bread with olive oil and garlic and I like salads. – Jesse Michaels • I’m particularly fond of boned chicken breasts with a little garlic under the flesh and cooked in a casserole for 40 minutes with a jar of olives, some cherry tomatoes and a spoonful of olive oil. – Maeve Binchy • In Manhasset you were either Yankees or Mets, rich or poor, sober or drunk…You were ‘Gaelic’ or ‘garlic,” as one schoolmate told me, and I couldn’t admit, to him or myself, that I had both Irish and Italian ancestors. – J. R. Moehringer • In Pizza Express you can get garlic bread with cheese and tomato. Now correct me if I’m wrong, but that’s a pizza. – Jimmy Carr • It has been said of garlic that everyone knows its odor save he who has eaten it, and who wonders why everyone flies at his approach. – George Ellwanger • It’s a comfort to always find pasta in the cupboard and garlic and parsley in the garden. – Alice Waters • It’s very freaky in Chicago.There’s something in the water there, I don’t know what it is. But the actual word Chicago means, in the Indian language, garlic. It was just garlic and mosquitoes there. And that is the roughest city on the planet, and I been to every place in the world. – Quincy Jones • Maybe it was a good thing that Bones was putting Don’s remains away instead of me. With my current emotional state, I’d probably think the only safe place for his ashes was tucked inside my clothes next to the garlic and weed. – Jeaniene Frost • Most dear actors, eat no onions nor garlic, for we are to utter sweet breath. – William Shakespeare • My favorite comfort food would have be braised beef. You know, beef, slow-cooked in a Dutch oven or in a slow cooker until it falls apart with simple mushrooms, some onions and lots of fresh thyme and garlic. – Tyler Florence • My favorite is the garlic press. I think it’s beautiful as an object. But the awkward part of it all is that I don’t use it much because I’m allergic to garlic. – Michael Graves • My favorite to cook is this recipe I’ve been making since I was 12 years old with my mom, and it’s an angel hair shrimp pasta with tomatoes, feta, garlic, white wine – it’s so easy but so fresh and so delicious! – Devon Windsor • My final, considered judgment is that the hardy bulb [garlic] blesses and ennobles everything it touches – with the possible exception of ice cream and pie. – Angelo Pellegrini • My mother was making $135 a week, but she had resilience and imagination. She might take frozen vegetables, cook them with garlic, onion and Spam, and it would taste like a four-star dinner. – Andre Dubus • My perfect last meal would be: shrimp cocktail, lasagna, steak, creamed spinach, salad with bleu cheese dressing, onion rings, garlic bread, and a dessert of strawberry shortcake. – Joan Rivers • My wife and I use a lot of garlic and rosemary with roast lamb. It has to be New Zealand lamb. The domestic variety is too gamy, in my experience. – Alfred Molina • Not me, paranoia’s the garlic in life’s kitchen, right, you can never have too much. – Thomas Pynchon • Of the many smells of Athens two seem to me the most characteristic – that of garlic, bold and deadly like acetylene gas. and that of dust, soft and warm and caressing like tweed. – Evelyn Waugh • Or you can broil the meat, fry the onions, stew the garlic in the red wine…and ask me to supper. I’ll not care, really, even if your nose is a little shiny, so long as you are self-possessed and sure that wolf or no wolf, your mind is your own and your heart is another’s and therefore in the right place. – M. F. K. Fisher • Our lives are full of stress. Some meditate, some walk, some sing and dance. Nature offers us garlic, maitake and hibiscus to relieve stress – Gunter Pauli • Peace and happiness, begin, geographically, where garlic is used in cooking. – Marcel Boulestin • Peppers, garlic, hazelnuts and brazil nuts make my mouth, tongue and eyes swell and itch within minutes of eating them. – Andrea McLean • piety is like garlic: a little goes a long way. – Rita Mae Brown • PORTUGUESE, n.pl. A species of geese indigenous to Portugal. They are mostly without feathers and imperfectly edible, even when stuffed with garlic. – Ambrose Bierce • Pounding fragrant things – particularly garlic, basil, parsley – is a tremendous antidote to depression. But it applies also to juniper berries, coriander seeds and the grilled fruits of the chilli pepper. Pounding these things produces an alteration in one’s being – from sighing with fatigue to inhaling with pleasure. The cheering effects of herbs and alliums cannot be too often reiterated. Virgil’s appetite was probably improved equally by pounding garlic as by eating it. – Patience Gray • Raw garlic and a skin of the lemon – not only do they give you a beautiful face and skin but they also protect you from disease. – Manto Tshabalala-Msimang • Some hours after eating this dish [lièvre à la royale, which contains 20 cloves of garlic and twice that quantity of shallots], there is a peculiar sensation of liberation in the head. and it is sensation of smell. – Patience Gray • Stop and smell the garlic! That’s all you have to do. – William Shatner • The air in Provence is impregnated with the aroma of garlic, which makes it very healthful to breathe. – Alexandre Dumas • The Brit abroad is always the voice of caution. Persons of other cultures are known to be undisciplined, prone to leaning out of car windows and cooking with garlic. – Nick Harkaway • The combination of olive oil, garlic and lemon juice lifts the spirits in winter. – Yotam Ottolenghi • The fashion industry isn’t merely content to encase my meaty flanks in skintight denim. Oh, no! That denim also has to be white, a color that attracts ketchup, wine, garlic aioli, and any other foodstuffs I might otherwise be able to enjoy if I wasn’t wearing ridiculously tight pants. – Diablo Cody • The food in such places is so tasteless because the members associate spices and garlic with just the sort of people they’re trying to keep out. – Calvin Trillin • The grotesque prudishness and archness with which garlic is treated in [England] has led to the superstition that rubbing the bowl with it before putting the salad in gives sufficient flavor. It rather depends whether you are going to eat the bowl or the salad. – Elizabeth David • The most annoying person on the BBC is Russell Brand, I’ve actually been close up to that boy. He smells like when you mix garlic with coffee and alcohol. I’m just saying when you get close to him, he could do with a bit of Sure For Men, he stinks. – Noel Gallagher • The most overrated ingredients are garlic and extra-virgin olive oil. With garlic, it’s personal; I have never been that big of a fan of its flavor. As for extra-virgin olive oil, I do use it quite often but its ubiquity serves to overshadow many wonderful oils like pistachio, walnut, argan and even grapeseed. – Lela Rose • The only advice I can give to aspiring writers is don’t do it unless you’re willing to give your whole life to it. Red wine and garlic also helps. – Jim Harrison • The strands of spaghetti were vital, almost alive in my mouth, and the olive oil was singing with flavor. It was hard to imagine that four simple ingredients [olive oil, pasta, garlic and cheese] could marry so perfectly. – Ruth Reichl • The summer has seized you, as when, last month in Amalfi, I saw lemons as large as your desk-side globe-that miniature map of the world-and I could mention, too, the market stalls of mushrooms and garlic bugs all engorged. Or I even think of the orchard next door, where the berries are done and the apples are beginning to swell. And once, with our first backyard,I remember I planted an acre of yellow beans we couldn’t eat. – Anne Sexton • There are five elements: earth, air, fire, water and garlic. – Louis Diat • There are many miracles in the world to be celebrated and, for me, garlic is the most deserving. – Leo Buscaglia • There are three things you cannot hide: smell of the garlic, fragrance of the flower and the wisdom of the teacher. – Harbhajan Singh Yogi • There he got out the luncheon-basket and packed a simple meal, in which, remembering the stranger’s origin and preferences, he took care to include a yard of long French bread, a sausage out of which the garlic sang, some cheese which lay down and cried, and a long-necked straw-covered flask wherein lay bottled sunshine shed and garnered on far Southern slopes. – Kenneth Grahame • There’s no doubt that after you eat a lot of garlic, you just kind of feel like you are floating, you feel ultra-confident, you feel capable of going out and whipping your weight in wild cats. – Les Blank • This Bouillabaisse a noble dish is – A sort of soup or broth, or brew, Or hotchpotch of all sorts of fishes, That Greenwich never could outdo; Green herbs, red peppers, mussels, saffron, Soles, onions, garlic, roach, and dace; All these you eat at Terre’s tavern, In that one dish of Bouillabaisse. – William Makepeace Thackeray • Vlad decided that teachers’ ideas were a lot like bunches of garlic-intriguing from afar, but up close sadly sickening and, if you weren’t careful, DEADLY. – Heather Brewer • Vulgarity is the garlic in the salad of charm. – Cyril Connolly • We have garlic days, and onion days. You know what they’re cooking. – Leslie White • What do you think? Young women of rank eat – you will never guess what – garlick! – Percy Bysshe Shelley • What garlic is to salad, insanity is to art. – Augustus Saint-Gaudens • Without garlic I simply would not care to live. – Louis Diat • You can never have enough garlic. With enough garlic, you can eat The New York Times. – Morley Safer • You’re a monster, Mr. Grinch. Your heart’s an empty hole. Your brain is full of spiders, You’ve got garlic in your soul. – Dr. Seuss
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jQuery(document).ready(function($) var data = action: 'polyxgo_products_search', type: 'Product', keywords: 'u', orderby: 'rand', order: 'DESC', template: '1', limit: '4', columns: '4', viewall:'Shop All', ; jQuery.post(spyr_params.ajaxurl,data, function(response) var obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); jQuery('#thelovesof_u').html(obj); jQuery('#thelovesof_u img.swiper-lazy:not(.swiper-lazy-loaded)' ).each(function () var img = jQuery(this); img.attr("src",img.data('src')); img.addClass( 'swiper-lazy-loaded' ); img.removeAttr('data-src'); ); ); );
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jesseneufeld ¡ 5 years ago
Text
Recovery Workouts: Two Simple But Powerful Ways to Speed Fitness Recovery
For my entire athletic career, I considered the gold standard of recovery to be sleeping, resting on the couch watching T.V., and generally being still and inactive. Come on, what could be more effective than couch potato mode to recover from the hormonal and inflammatory stresses of marathon training runs or long days of extreme swim-bike-run workouts? I’m kidding (mostly), but it’s not a total exaggeration. Our understanding of fitness recovery has grown exponentially since I was in the elite arena, and it’s exciting to see new and better approaches taking root that genuinely speed recovery and stave off burnout. I’m sharing two such techniques today. They’re simple, mostly free, and accessible to anyone with the most basic fitness opportunities and venues.
Note: Here’s the thing…. This is the stuff you should focus on before considering advanced techniques like exposure to cold or heat, Theragun treatments (although I happen to be a fan of this device), hyperbaric oxygen chambers, etc.
“JFW”
The first recovery technique is to move more instead of just sit around. That’s right, science is validating the idea that if you make a concerted effort to increase all forms of general everyday movement in the hours and days after strenuous workouts, you will help minimize the inflammation and oxidative stress caused by strenuous workouts.
Let’s call this strategy JFW—Just F—ing Walk.
Moving your body through space helps you burn fat better, which will maximize the fat reduction goals of your workouts. Walking also helps boost brain function. A 2017 UCLA study comparing MRI scans revealed that active older folks (over 60 and walking more than three kilometers per day) have faster brain processing speed, better working memory for quick decisions, and better memory consolidation than inactive folks. In his book, The Real Happy Pill: Power Up Your Brain By Moving Your Body, Swedish researcher Dr. Anders Hansen reports that just taking a daily walk can reduce your risk of dementia by 40 percent.
Walking and general movement of any kind improve lymphatic function for a huge recovery boost. The lymphatic system is a plumbing network running throughout your body that detoxifies every cell, tissue and organ through a separate operating system from the cardiovascular system. The lymphatic system operates through a pumping process instead of a beating heart. This means that you’re obligated to move your muscles and joints to turbocharge lymphatic detoxification and avoid the pooling of lymphatic fluid caused by chilling on the couch in the hours and days after heavy workouts. Even the old-time exercise apparatus of the mini-trampoline has come into vogue recently because bouncing around for even a few minutes has been shown to significantly boost lymphatic function.
To help your lymphatic system function optimally, be sure to hydrate adequately at all times. While my original Primal Blueprint presentation suggested that you simply honor your thirst to achieve good hydration, recent science suggests that successful hydration can be a little more complicated. Stacy Sims, Ph.D., a hydration expert who studied thermoregulation at Stanford and is currently a senior research fellow at University of Waikato in New Zealand, is doing some great work in this field. Check out this fantastic infographic. Her research suggests that the female menstrual cycle can influence hydration needs and strategies. Another breakthrough insight is that strenuous workouts have the potential to mute your thirst mechanism; you may become too hot and tired or distracted to notice that you’re actually getting dehydrated. For most minimally active folks, going by thirst might be just fine; the kidneys do an excellent job regulating fluid and sodium balance in the body.
If you are a novice fitness enthusiast, a high performing athlete, or routinely exercise in hot temperatures, a deliberate pre- and post-workout hydration is a strategy worth considering and implementing. Sprinkle some high quality natural mineral salt in each glass of fluid, which will help it become better absorbed in the tissues throughout your body.
“Rebound” Workouts
Joel Jamieson, a noted trainer of world-champion MMA fighters in Washington (8WeeksOut.com—as in eight weeks out from a title bout), and developer of the Morpheus Recovery app, advocates a system called Rebound Training where specially designed workouts can actually speed recovery time in comparison with total rest. The idea that a Rebound Workout can boost recovery is validated through the tracking of Heart Rate Variability. Joel is a pioneer in Heart Rate Variability and has been tracking his fighters and other high performing athletes for decades. Yes, decades, as in dating back to the original hospital grade $30,000 units that required placement of a dozen electrodes on your skin.
The idea that a Rebound workout can beat couch time is an extraordinary revelation. Amazingly, when you drag your tired, stiff, sore body into the gym and do some foam rolling, deep breathing exercises, dynamic stretches, and even very brief explosive efforts, such as short sprints with long recovery on the bike, or “positive-only” deadlifts (lift the weight then drop it to the ground to prevent soreness caused by eccentric contractions), you can stimulate parasympathetic nervous system activity and actually accelerate recovery. The parasympathetic is known the “rest and digest” component of autonomic nervous system, and counterbalances the sympathetic “fight or flight” component.
You can learn more about Rebound Training and see a sample workout here. If you just want to dabble in the concept, know that increasing your walking and general movement in the hours and days after a challenging training session will help boost blood circulation and lymphatic function to speed recovery. I always find ways to walk more and spend more time at my stand-up desk in the 24 hours following a tough Ultimate Frisbee match or sprint workout.
Sample Restorative Workout
The next time you throw down a killer workout, trying heading to the gym the following day and creating a restorative experience.
Start by lying flat on the mat and completing 20 deep diaphragmatic breath cycles. When you’re in the prone position, you can hone good technique by placing your hand on your abdomen and making sure that the abdomen expands upon inhalation. First expand the abdomen, which enables the chest cavity to then expand outward and enable the full use of the diaphragm for a powerful breath. You notice this sequence better when laying down.
After 20 deep breaths, commence 10 minutes of foam rolling, dynamic stretches and flexibility drills.
Then, get a little sympathetic stimulation going with some bike sprints or positive only deadlifts as follows:
Exercise bike: Warmup five minutes, then sprint for 10 seconds, followed by 60 seconds of easy pedaling. Repeat for five repetitions.
Deadlift: With 70% of your one rep maximum weight, raise the bar three-quarters of the way to the top, then allow it to fall to the ground with minimal muscle engagement. Repeat five times.
The idea with these efforts is that you’ll trigger a brief stimulation of fight or flight sympathetic nervous system activity, but because the effort is so brief, you’ll prompt a compensatory parasympathetic reaction during the recovery period. The net effect of the session is to turbocharge parasympathetic for hours afterward to a greater extent than just chilling on the couch watching Netflix.
Thanks to the gentle nature of the session, you enjoy an increase in energy and alertness from getting the oxygen and blood flowing throughout the body—but without the cellular breakdown and glycogen depletion of a more strenuous workout. You should leave the gym feeling relaxed and a little looser than before the workout.
Implementing “Rebound”-style workouts, along with making a general effort to walk around more in the hours following your most challenging sessions aren’t just fun diversions; they’re part of putting recovery as the central element of your training program.
Final Thoughts…
Speaking of HRV, Jamieson offers a breakthrough insight that has helped me further appreciate the value of tracking HRV over time, and also alleviate some confusion that arose during some data accumulation over the past several years. If you’re a fan of HRV, you know a high HRV on the familiar 1-100 scale is indicative of a strong and rested cardiovascular system. You have a greater variation in beat-to-beat intervals than a lower score, indicating a harmonious balance between fight or flight sympathetic nervous system function and rest and digest parasympathetic nervous system function. A low HRV indicates a more metronomic heartbeat, and sympathetic nervous system dominance over parasympathetic. These are reliable signs of overtraining or a general overstress condition in life, or a weak cardiovascular system in general.
By tracking HRV for several weeks, you can establish a healthy baseline, then gauge your level of stress and readiness to train based on daily HRV fluctuations. Low equals overstressed, high equals healthy. That’s all well and good, but here’s an important nuance I learned from Joel about HRV readings significantly higher than your baseline: An 86 seems better than the usual 72-75, but actually an abnormally high HRV could be an indication of parasympathetic dominance versus a sympathetic-parasympathetic balance. When your parasympathetic kicks into overdrive, it’s possibly because you trashed yourself way beyond healthy limits, and you’re struggling to return to a rested and stress-balanced state. This explained some strange outlier readings where I felt pretty cooked after coming off a jet travel binge or a series of extreme workouts in a tight time frame but delivered a rock star HRV reading.
As I’ve written about before, I’m not a fan of overdoing biofeedback devices. I’ve used them and still do occasionally when I’m attempting something new or just want to check in with some hard data, but too much tech can disconnect you with your intuition—what should always be front and center in your assessments. Dr. Kelly Starrett references scientific research indicating that the single most valuable and accurate metric for your state of recovery is “desire to train.” I wonder how this goes up against the blood lactate meters at the U.S. Olympic Training Center and any ring or watch data you can accumulate. I have confidence it would hold its own in most scenarios.
Thanks for stopping by today, everybody. How do you do recovery? What have you learned over the years in your own study and experience. Have a great end to the week.
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lauramalchowblog ¡ 5 years ago
Text
Recovery Workouts: Two Simple But Powerful Ways to Speed Fitness Recovery
For my entire athletic career, I considered the gold standard of recovery to be sleeping, resting on the couch watching T.V., and generally being still and inactive. Come on, what could be more effective than couch potato mode to recover from the hormonal and inflammatory stresses of marathon training runs or long days of extreme swim-bike-run workouts? I’m kidding (mostly), but it’s not a total exaggeration. Our understanding of fitness recovery has grown exponentially since I was in the elite arena, and it’s exciting to see new and better approaches taking root that genuinely speed recovery and stave off burnout. I’m sharing two such techniques today. They’re simple, mostly free, and accessible to anyone with the most basic fitness opportunities and venues.
Note: Here’s the thing…. This is the stuff you should focus on before considering advanced techniques like exposure to cold or heat, Theragun treatments (although I happen to be a fan of this device), hyperbaric oxygen chambers, etc.
“JFW”
The first recovery technique is to move more instead of just sit around. That’s right, science is validating the idea that if you make a concerted effort to increase all forms of general everyday movement in the hours and days after strenuous workouts, you will help minimize the inflammation and oxidative stress caused by strenuous workouts.
Let’s call this strategy JFW—Just F—ing Walk.
Moving your body through space helps you burn fat better, which will maximize the fat reduction goals of your workouts. Walking also helps boost brain function. A 2017 UCLA study comparing MRI scans revealed that active older folks (over 60 and walking more than three kilometers per day) have faster brain processing speed, better working memory for quick decisions, and better memory consolidation than inactive folks. In his book, The Real Happy Pill: Power Up Your Brain By Moving Your Body, Swedish researcher Dr. Anders Hansen reports that just taking a daily walk can reduce your risk of dementia by 40 percent.
Walking and general movement of any kind improve lymphatic function for a huge recovery boost. The lymphatic system is a plumbing network running throughout your body that detoxifies every cell, tissue and organ through a separate operating system from the cardiovascular system. The lymphatic system operates through a pumping process instead of a beating heart. This means that you’re obligated to move your muscles and joints to turbocharge lymphatic detoxification and avoid the pooling of lymphatic fluid caused by chilling on the couch in the hours and days after heavy workouts. Even the old-time exercise apparatus of the mini-trampoline has come into vogue recently because bouncing around for even a few minutes has been shown to significantly boost lymphatic function.
To help your lymphatic system function optimally, be sure to hydrate adequately at all times. While my original Primal Blueprint presentation suggested that you simply honor your thirst to achieve good hydration, recent science suggests that successful hydration can be a little more complicated. Stacy Sims, Ph.D., a hydration expert who studied thermoregulation at Stanford and is currently a senior research fellow at University of Waikato in New Zealand, is doing some great work in this field. Check out this fantastic infographic. Her research suggests that the female menstrual cycle can influence hydration needs and strategies. Another breakthrough insight is that strenuous workouts have the potential to mute your thirst mechanism; you may become too hot and tired or distracted to notice that you’re actually getting dehydrated. For most minimally active folks, going by thirst might be just fine; the kidneys do an excellent job regulating fluid and sodium balance in the body.
If you are a novice fitness enthusiast, a high performing athlete, or routinely exercise in hot temperatures, a deliberate pre- and post-workout hydration is a strategy worth considering and implementing. Sprinkle some high quality natural mineral salt in each glass of fluid, which will help it become better absorbed in the tissues throughout your body.
“Rebound” Workouts
Joel Jamieson, a noted trainer of world-champion MMA fighters in Washington (8WeeksOut.com—as in eight weeks out from a title bout), and developer of the Morpheus Recovery app, advocates a system called Rebound Training where specially designed workouts can actually speed recovery time in comparison with total rest. The idea that a Rebound Workout can boost recovery is validated through the tracking of Heart Rate Variability. Joel is a pioneer in Heart Rate Variability and has been tracking his fighters and other high performing athletes for decades. Yes, decades, as in dating back to the original hospital grade $30,000 units that required placement of a dozen electrodes on your skin.
The idea that a Rebound workout can beat couch time is an extraordinary revelation. Amazingly, when you drag your tired, stiff, sore body into the gym and do some foam rolling, deep breathing exercises, dynamic stretches, and even very brief explosive efforts, such as short sprints with long recovery on the bike, or “positive-only” deadlifts (lift the weight then drop it to the ground to prevent soreness caused by eccentric contractions), you can stimulate parasympathetic nervous system activity and actually accelerate recovery. The parasympathetic is known the “rest and digest” component of autonomic nervous system, and counterbalances the sympathetic “fight or flight” component.
You can learn more about Rebound Training and see a sample workout here. If you just want to dabble in the concept, know that increasing your walking and general movement in the hours and days after a challenging training session will help boost blood circulation and lymphatic function to speed recovery. I always find ways to walk more and spend more time at my stand-up desk in the 24 hours following a tough Ultimate Frisbee match or sprint workout.
Sample Restorative Workout
The next time you throw down a killer workout, trying heading to the gym the following day and creating a restorative experience.
Start by lying flat on the mat and completing 20 deep diaphragmatic breath cycles. When you’re in the prone position, you can hone good technique by placing your hand on your abdomen and making sure that the abdomen expands upon inhalation. First expand the abdomen, which enables the chest cavity to then expand outward and enable the full use of the diaphragm for a powerful breath. You notice this sequence better when laying down.
After 20 deep breaths, commence 10 minutes of foam rolling, dynamic stretches and flexibility drills.
Then, get a little sympathetic stimulation going with some bike sprints or positive only deadlifts as follows:
Exercise bike: Warmup five minutes, then sprint for 10 seconds, followed by 60 seconds of easy pedaling. Repeat for five repetitions.
Deadlift: With 70% of your one rep maximum weight, raise the bar three-quarters of the way to the top, then allow it to fall to the ground with minimal muscle engagement. Repeat five times.
The idea with these efforts is that you’ll trigger a brief stimulation of fight or flight sympathetic nervous system activity, but because the effort is so brief, you’ll prompt a compensatory parasympathetic reaction during the recovery period. The net effect of the session is to turbocharge parasympathetic for hours afterward to a greater extent than just chilling on the couch watching Netflix.
Thanks to the gentle nature of the session, you enjoy an increase in energy and alertness from getting the oxygen and blood flowing throughout the body—but without the cellular breakdown and glycogen depletion of a more strenuous workout. You should leave the gym feeling relaxed and a little looser than before the workout.
Implementing “Rebound”-style workouts, along with making a general effort to walk around more in the hours following your most challenging sessions aren’t just fun diversions; they’re part of putting recovery as the central element of your training program.
Final Thoughts…
Speaking of HRV, Jamieson offers a breakthrough insight that has helped me further appreciate the value of tracking HRV over time, and also alleviate some confusion that arose during some data accumulation over the past several years. If you’re a fan of HRV, you know a high HRV on the familiar 1-100 scale is indicative of a strong and rested cardiovascular system. You have a greater variation in beat-to-beat intervals than a lower score, indicating a harmonious balance between fight or flight sympathetic nervous system function and rest and digest parasympathetic nervous system function. A low HRV indicates a more metronomic heartbeat, and sympathetic nervous system dominance over parasympathetic. These are reliable signs of overtraining or a general overstress condition in life, or a weak cardiovascular system in general.
By tracking HRV for several weeks, you can establish a healthy baseline, then gauge your level of stress and readiness to train based on daily HRV fluctuations. Low equals overstressed, high equals healthy. That’s all well and good, but here’s an important nuance I learned from Joel about HRV readings significantly higher than your baseline: An 86 seems better than the usual 72-75, but actually an abnormally high HRV could be an indication of parasympathetic dominance versus a sympathetic-parasympathetic balance. When your parasympathetic kicks into overdrive, it’s possibly because you trashed yourself way beyond healthy limits, and you’re struggling to return to a rested and stress-balanced state. This explained some strange outlier readings where I felt pretty cooked after coming off a jet travel binge or a series of extreme workouts in a tight time frame but delivered a rock star HRV reading.
As I’ve written about before, I’m not a fan of overdoing biofeedback devices. I’ve used them and still do occasionally when I’m attempting something new or just want to check in with some hard data, but too much tech can disconnect you with your intuition—what should always be front and center in your assessments. Dr. Kelly Starrett references scientific research indicating that the single most valuable and accurate metric for your state of recovery is “desire to train.” I wonder how this goes up against the blood lactate meters at the U.S. Olympic Training Center and any ring or watch data you can accumulate. I have confidence it would hold its own in most scenarios.
Thanks for stopping by today, everybody. How do you do recovery? What have you learned over the years in your own study and experience. Have a great end to the week.
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