#and a lot of last year - esp the last few months - have been tough and it feels really good to have tackled something so big and then have

[apencilandpen]

[magpiefngrl]

Happy 10th HP anniversary, LQT!

This month my darling friend, @lqtraintracks, celebrates ten years in the HP fandom.

Ten years omg! 🎊🎊🎊🎊

Ten years of passion and enthusiasm and love for drarry and the HP world; ten years of spreading joy to other fans; ten years of astounding writing (gods, I envy her so!); ten years of invaluable contributions to the community.

Lqt, the fandom is blessed to have you as a member and I feel honoured to call myself your friend. I thank my lucky stars I joined drarry when I did and got to meet you 💖

Here's a few things you should know about Lqt:

1. She's a phenomenal writer. No, I don't use this word lightly. If you haven't yet sampled her work, you're missing out. If I were you, I'd rectify this asap. Lqt's craft is a masterclass of its own: strong sentences, beautiful prose, thoughtful characterisations, scorching sex scenes, lots and lots of feels. Her writing sizzles. She's so quotable too. I can't think of another writer who has such a strong gift to write lines that the whole fandom imprints on and can remember years later. For instance: "I've fucked you in that shirt." I'm still losing my fkn mind over this line. Mention Blood and Fire, one of Lqt's masterpieces, to a reader and they'll immediately go "omg I've fucked you in that shirt!!!!!!"

2. She's a supporter of queer and trans rights in true Gryffindor spirit. Passionate and tireless, Lqt actively tries to make fandom a more inclusive, safe and welcoming space for everyone. She's an example to emulate.

3. She's a fierce, generous friend. I don't know what I've done to deserve her, but her generosity and kindness and support seem never ending. She's been there for me, esp during a tough period last year, and has listened to me vent when I felt like getting things off my chest; she's given me advice when I asked for it; and has been a relentless cheerleader when I needed a boost. She's the kind of friend who reads my fics even when they're in fandoms she's not familiar with. She might know nothing about wangxian but she will read my fics and she will comment with some lovely praise, and--I don't know if I ever told you, @lqtraintracks, but that floors me every single time. That you read and comment on my wangxian/hualian/non-HP fics. I'm a bit choked up about it, ngl

Right. *wipes tears* Recs!

My first LQT fic was Entropy to Ecstasy (drarry/ 4k/ E), a stellar example of second person POV and, er, rimming. Is this the most delicious combination or what? The longing in this fic is tangible; the UST through the roof. I adored it and still do; what a marvellous introduction to a great writer.

My latest LQT fic was Heart Like Neon (drarry/ 41k/ E) and it was one of the highlights of 2021. It's got enemies to lovers and hate sex and UST to-die-for but also excellent new magic (the Reaching! how amazing and such a Harry magic!), a large cast handled deftly, and a fantastic relationship progression. And again: so many wonderful quotes! "Being good… it’s not just one choice. It’s a thousand different choices. And that’s just one day." How do you do it, LQT????

But the fic that has carved itself in my heart is Blood and Fire (drarry/ 45k/ E). (The banner above is a realistic depiction of the state of my mind and body while reading the fic.) It's a story of second chances; of regret and mistakes; of making amends; of forgiveness. It's got agonising pining and excruciating longing; palpable tension and hot hot hot hot sex. It includes the most emotional hug of all times. It's a fic that makes me feel like "a bundle of kindling who invited fire over for dinner". (see what I told you about the quotes? She's fkn killing it!) It's a drarry classic (yes, I went there) and it's a fic that I will never, ever forget. For me, this story is up there with Donna Tartt and CS Pacat.

LQT, happy anniversary!!! May you enjoy another 10, 20, or more years in fandom! I'm so happy to know you 💖

[cozycreaturescorner]

Hello again :)

In response to my last ask:

Sounds like you've got a lot going on! I hope you're able to get a wheelchair soon and that it makes life easier/more comfortable for you 💜 It can be tough to make the healthy choices for your life but I'm super proud of you for doing so! So awesome you found a psych that works with you!!! What've you been reading lately?

No longer in response to last ask lol:

Getting sober is a journey and one aspect of it that I don't see talked about a lot is that, like all healing, it's not linear. There will be up's and downs, you may relapse (I know I have before) and you may have dark days but every day that you choose to maintain it is a win! yeah the big numbers of collective days are important and impressive but so are the little numbers cause they show that even tho it's hard for you you're still making that effort and you're still trying. A trick/tip that I learned about is the purple elephant trick, basically it means that while you're trying to get sober you'll probs here a lof about the thing you're trying to quit and that can cause you to relapse/give up so the trick is to find the purple elephant, ie smthn that you can do instead of the thing you're avoiding. So if you're itching for a "fix" you can redirect the desire/energy and do smthn like say woodworking or embroidery, smthn that takes your mental focus and uses your hands (it's hard to drink/do drugs/whtvr if you're hands are full of project ya know lol). it's a recovery tactic that a lot of people I know have used successfully and the fun thing about it is that the more you do it the easier it becomes 💜

I'm sorry to hear (read lol) that you and your parents got covid! I actually learned that my gma and parents both just got it as well. I'm hoping for your speedy and complication free recovery. Related, what kind of hard candies do you like? I'm a huge fan of butterscotch and life saver mints (specifically life saver cause I like the texture of them lol)

Hope you have a gentle day and get to eat smthn you love soon 💜 I send virtual hugs (if you like being hugged that is)

- 🌑

gods yeah, it's been a very hectic few months adhgdhg but ! wheelchair clinic in 16 days; hoping i get decent insurance coverage and don't have to wait too long for my chair!

current books i'm working on: The Terror by Dan Simmons (it's been Months and i'm less than halfway), The Center Cannot Hold by Elyn Saks, and going to start either The Book of Lies by Aleister Crowley or the Delphic Maxims when they get here in a couple days :D

AHH thank you so much, it means a lot to hear that kind of support rn, esp from folks who are dealing with substance use too <3 distractions that are things i enjoy doing are def very good yes! been watching silly stuff mostly cause covid is making me v tired, singing when my lungs feel okay, trying to get back to acting and reading more too (esp cause our summer reading program just started)! i've been trying to start doing better things for myself and connecting with the things i love doing more this year, and honestly needing good distractions is a great excuse to be good to myself :))

i'm lucky my symptoms have been fairly minimal so far! the only thing that's making this awful is the Constant (for about 6 hours after taking it) taste of decay and ashes and dandelion that Paxlovid coats my mouth and throat with it. oof. i for real need to keep a consistent stream of hard candy and/or just food going into my mouth or a start gagging/getting nauseous to the point that. i discovered the hard way. i Will empty my stomach if i don't put an outside taste in my mouth immediately

i don't know if i'll want to eat hard candy for a bit after this adhsgjffj and i'm having trouble remembering what i actually like but i've been eating a lot of strawberry and watermelon flavored dum dums and blow pops the past few days

[journeyofbell]

The Good & The Bad (Retrospect 2021)

In honour of trying to be more positive, I figured it was time to bring back my annual list of good and bad things that happened this year!

AWESOME STUFF

I finally got a plan and the correct medication for my ADHD, hopefully it'll stabilise by the start of the new year so that I may be able to work again by February

I started working as a volunteer for an organisation for children's rights and I've had so much fun with it, including two camps and the child that I've been paired for the role model program! (lots of sweet people + the kid is amazing, he's absolutely wonderful)

Went on holiday in the northern area of Jutland with @gittetj which was the first real holiday in a couple of years. A lot of nature, lots of roadtripping and lots of fun!

We also had a trip to Aarhus together to visit ARoS, then had dinner at an Asian restaurant and finished the day on a coffee shop (before I headed over to some friends to sleep there, not planned but it was still fun!)

Had @nekomcevil over as the first guest to actually stay for more than one day! Good times and it also forced our cat to come out and socialise with the visitor for once

Speaking of the cat, Fay is all grown up and is still an adorable, cuddly fluff ball every single day (much needed for tough times, esp for this year)

My youngest brother moved into his own place and I got to visit with my boyfriend, then I also got to catch up with my bestie from high school (which was awesome after the pandemic prevented us from hanging out last time we had plans)

In general I got to socialise a lot more compared to last year which has been good for my mental health (usually my anxiety says no but it's been sparce with the events this year and worked just fine)

Moving into my new home was actually finalised, we got rid of the last moving box and now we only have a few things left to do (that cost a lot money so we have to wait but shhh)

My besties @nekomcevil and Sky (TBSkyen) are moving over to my area! So excited to help them move in and getting to hang out much more often 💗

NOT SO AWESOME STUFF

My grandmother passed away, I couldn't be there due to the pandemic and she didn't want a funeral (nothing else was held which was oddly annoying but my family is weird so eh)

Still haven't gotten a job because everything bureaucratic has been slowed down (I had to wait 6 months for something that should've started after 1, thanks I hate it)

Finally gave up on a friendship that I've been bothered by for years, a last message was sent and it's actually over (relieved that we're done with for good but still distressed that it had to end this way)

Actually, I ended two toxic friendships this year! This one was very sudden but definitely for the better (he refused to get help and took it out on others, had to give up in the end)

December was too stressful due to Christmas and New Year's Eve, not a good way to end the year (I had to do everything for everyone, as per freaking usual, and very few people appreciated it thus it won't happen in 2022)

[baegarrick]

idk if you've read/seen the book/movie but just... love, simon zukka au ?? sokka as simon and zuko as bram because blue spirit ( though if we r going for it personality-wise maybe switch their roles? idk ! ) — also in this one the friends are exponentially better

ok im so sorry I haven’t actually seen love, simon or read the book but.... I HAVE ACCESS TO WIKIPEDIA SO LETS GO

ok so I was considering Zuko as Simon bc of the musical thing/the loving parent (Iroh), the girl he sees Sokka (Bram) kiss is Suki.... but also bc I just love writing Zuko (maybe I’ll parse that out at the end)

BUT lets go with Sokka as Simon bc I also love writing the Gaang

Sokka is Simon

Katara is both Nora and Abby

Jet is Martin

Aang is Nick (but slightly also Abby)

Zuko is blue/Bram

Suki is Leah (but slightly also Nick)

Toph is Ethan (sorta)

Haru is Lyle

Ok so, obv this follows the plot of the movie/book. Sokka is a gay + closeted junior, not that his dad isn’t loving, but he’s in the military, and occasionally makes homophobic jokes, and Sokka feels like he has to be tough for him, esp. since his mom died. But he really likes making people laugh and so he joins the school musical, which is a comedy this year.

His best friend is Suki, who he’s known since he was a kid, but he’s kinda been withdrawing from her since he got to high school. He loves her, he really does, but everyone always thinks they’re dating, and it kinda makes him uncomfortable. He tried to like her, when they were younger, but he just... isn’t into girls. His friend group is Suki, Katara (his sister, and it was the two of them against the world since their mom died, but he’s pulled away from her too), Aang (a transfer freshman from out of state), and Toph (who spent up till 8th grade at a private school).

Also in the musical is Zuko, a hot senior who’s like.... super lofty. He gets really into theater, but he rarely interacts with people outside his friend group, like he’s better than them or something. (Mai and Ty Lee are also there, they’re Zuko’s friends.) Not in the musical, but in one of the other clubs Sokka is in, is Jet. He got kicked off the football team for being too rough with the other team last year, so he mostly just hangs out behind the bleachers smoking.

Sokka’s on the school’s tumblr one day (shut up, Katara, I don’t have a tumblr!!) when he sees someone posted an anonymous confession saying they’re gay but they really don’t have anyone they can talk to because of their family situation. Sokka gets their email (BlueSpirit) and start emailing (BoomerangDude) them for a couple of months. He learns that Blue’s family has really high expectations of him, and since he’s only a year away from college he can’t mess them up because if he does he’ll be cut off, and he can’t afford college if that happens. He’s got a sadistic little sister (who isn’t actually terrible, she’s just got her own shit going on, and if shoving Zuko in the warpath of their father takes the spotlight off of her, all the better) who would absolutely out him if she knew, a girl he’s pretty sure wants to date him (Mai), and an after-school job (the tea shop) thats cutting into his extra-curricular activities.

This is.... really similar to Sokka, actually, and he likes making Blue laugh (they switch to chatting online sometimes, like discord or some chat app), and Blue has a lot of insights on things Sokka likes (some of the same music,

Meanwhile, Sokka ends up going to this tea shop he heard about from Blue (it had been a slip, Zuko had NOT meant to say too many personal details, but he’d mentioned getting some kind of boba drink) and studying there with his friends. While he’s there, he’s surprised to see Zuko, who he’s never spoken to outside of the musical they’re working on!! (At some point, Zuko checks his phone and laughs, and Sokka’s like, oh no, I’m crushing on.... TWO DUDES???? BAD SOKKA). He starts to wonder if maybe.... Zuko is Blue?? it generally sorta fits, he knows Zuko is also a senior, and the tea shop Blue mentioned.... (to be fair, though, they see like three other kids from school there, so it’s not really a niche place)

Before Sokka can test out this theory, though, there’s a Halloween party which Sokka goes to with his friends. (They go as the Power Rangers.) He sees Zuko there (he’s in some some Kabuki costume), but with him is.... Mai from the play. They’re making out, and Sokka feels his stomach drop-- he’s not gay and Sokka’s crushing on a straight guy. He gets drunk. He throws up in the bushes outside, and Katara finds him, chews him out, and then sneaks him back home.

He emails Blue again, drunk, and says some stupid stuff like he wishes things were easier, and that he thought he knew who Blue was, but he didn’t. (Blue doesn’t reply.)

He’s checking his email on a school computer in the library when the bell rings, and he doesn’t log out properly, and Jet, who is skipping class, finds Sokka’s emails. He confronts Sokka about them, and says he won’t reveal Sokka’s secret... if Sokka helps Jet get with Sokka’s hot sister. Sokka hates the idea, but also, the idea of being outed is really terrifying. So he says yes, and tries to talk up Jet to Katara, who’s a little surprised bc while she thinks Jet is hot, Sokka was super against Jet whenever she mentioned it. Katara is involved in school politics, and convinces Jet to pretend to be interested to spend time with her. (he ends up running against her...)

Around Thanksgiving, with all their extended family there, ribbing him about getting a girlfriend (asking about Suki), Sokka leaves and goes to sit on the roof. Katara finds him there, and demands he spill whats up and why he’s acting so weird, especially about Suki. (she looks freaked out for a moment, and is like.... oh my god, sokka, is suki pregnant?????? sokka blanches at that) He admits he’s gay, and she hugs him, and they stay out there until their dad sticks his head out the window and calls them inside.

Feeling guilty about Jet, Sokka admits to Blue their emails might have been compromised. Blue starts to back away, taking longer and longer to answer emails.

At a football game, Sokka runs into Haru, who starts asking him stuff, and Sokka wonders if he’s Blue, but it turns out Haru is interested in Katara. Upset, again, that he doesn’t know who Blue is, he encourages Jet to “go big or go home”-- and so Jet asks Katara out by bribing the kid who does the scoreboard to switch out his campaign ad for asking Katara out. Katara is shocked, as she thought Jet was really interested in her campaign. She slaps him.

Mad that Katara wasn’t interested after all, and from the slap, Jet outs Sokka anyway, posting the emails on the school’s gossip site. Katara, who was mad at Sokka, instantly forgives him and is on a WARPATH against Jet, but Sokka just wants it left alone. Suki shows up a few hours later, and finds him on the roof. She admits that she had a crush on him, which was why she never said anything when people asked if they were a couple, but she knew Sokka wasn’t interested in her, so she never pushed it. She’s sorry she made it difficult for him to come out to her.

Blue is upset their emails have leaked, and deletes his account.

He comes out to his dad later, in the car, on the way to school on the last couple of days before winter break. His dad takes it well, and apologizes for all of the jokes he used to make-- it doesn’t make it right, but it was the kind of things he and the other soldiers used to say to each other. He ends up taking them to this tea shop he heard about (it’s Zuko’s/Iroh’s shop), and while there, he comes out to the owner of the shop, Iroh, as sort of..... practice. It’s liberating and also terrifying. Iroh is super cool about it, and tells them about his own son, who passed away a few years ago in an accident, was gay. It’s way later than Sokka thought, and when he looks up from the conversation with Iroh, Zuko’s standing in the doorway. not wanting to deal with people from school, Sokka leaves the tea shop without waiting for his dad to follow him.

The next couple of days at school are rough. His friends stick by his side, but Jet’s friends are obnoxious and loud, and Katara punches one of them. She goes to the school, but they’re eternally unhelpful bc.... what can tey do... its not a school website..... Later, Toph tells Sokka she’s a lesbian, and it’s not that she’s hiding it, but... it’s already tough enough when people treat her like she’s glass because she’s blind. They all go home for winter break, and when they come back, Sokka is refreshed and determined not to be put down by a couple of assholes.

He’s wildly surprised when Blue posts on the school’s tumblr that he wants to meet Sokka at the school’s carnival. This draws a crowd, which makes Sokka worried he’s gonna be pranked, but when he sits down on the Ferris wheel, he’s surprised that Zuko from the tea shop/musical sits down next to him.

Zuko says he’s sorry for ignoring Sokka’s emails, and he’s sorry that Sokka got outed to the school, and it wasn’t his fault that Sokka was blackmailed, and he should have reacted better to it. Sokka apologizes too, because Zuko shouldn’t have to be outed either, which... is why they’re here? Zuko blushes, and says he came out to his uncle, who’s letting him stay with him, since he’s tired of going home to his shitty dad, and that he might go live with his mom while he’s in college. He admits the Mai thing at the party was a drunken misunderstanding, and that he likes Sokka. He thinks he’s funny, and they like the same things (theater, music, strange taste in food...), and he’s hoping after this... Sokka might like him too? (they kiss on the Ferris wheel, and Katara takes like, 30 pictures.)

....

alternatively////

Zuko as Simon au-- bc I just wanted to write it out. he lives with his uncle, who’s the loving parent here, not Ozai!! (or his Mom/stepdad but I kinda forgot they existed for like 5 minutes)

Zuko is Simon

Katara is Abby (she’s his lab partner, and they have the same temperment)

Azula is Nora, but she doesn’t really play a big role (she’s an asshole, but also she’s 14 and is Going Through Things. she’s also in the closet and in love with Mai, but she doesn’t know it yet. it takes her a couple of years to figure that out.)

Mai is Leah

Aang is Martin (but less of an asshole. just the embarrassing + frustrated bits.)

Sokka is blue/Bram

Suki is the girl at the party Sokka kisses

Ty Lee is Ethan

---

I HOPE THIS WAS OK, like I said I haven’t actually seen the thing, but now I actually know what the plot is about!! <3333

[ikyw-t]

🦔🐧

Guess what I did last week? I bought socks with HEDGEHOGS ROASTING MARSHMALLOWS on them AND socks of PENGUINS SKIING. HOW AMAZING IS THAT!!!     

Anyway, well that's the last time I tell anyone anything about animal anons plans, otherwise they will be spoiled and ruined by my friends! Oh well, it's all in good fun (and also forced me to keep my commitment of posting tonight despite being depressed that Jurgen got sent home...#gbbospoilers)!

Well as many people have predicted correctly, I passed the Bar! Hallelujah! I was sworn in as an attorney this week so I am officially an esq! I also am scheduled to received my dolly booster shot next week and earlier this month I started a new (not 80 hours a week) job! So I have had a fabulous month and have many things to be thankful for including my epic sock purchase! Which is perfect timing for the holiday ahead! So I wanna know what you are thankful for this year? I know it's been a tough year for so many so it can be as small or as large as you can think!

I'm so excited to learn more about everyone's year and what you're thankful for! Remember to tag animal anon (if you so desire) because I love scrolling through all your amazing responses! And since it was requested of course I LOVE atwtmvtv and the short film! My favorite vault song is IBYTAM because I love LOVE LOVE CS (please everyone go watch his performance with Jhud from the CMAs, it is mind-blowing)!

And remember, animal anon thinks you are all beautiful talented gorgeous people who are all killing it at life! ❤

HI ANIMAL ANON !!! ty for messaging me i was so pleased to see you in my asks!! i LOVE fun printed socks!! the hedgehog ones toasting marshmallows sound absolutely fantastic! CONGRATS on the bar exam omg that's so exciting! i also just started a new job a few days ago and it's going pretty well so i hope your new job goes well too!

this year has been A Lot but now that I've moved back in with my parents I'm actually a lot less stressed and school is about to go on a month-long break which I'm reallyyy looking forward to so!!

ALSO i am literally so grateful for red (taylor's version) and im like so geeked that i have a signed cd now it just makes me 😭😭😭 also i love every valut song like she truly knocked out of of the park with EVERY vault track.... And ofc atw10 has been stuck in my head constantly since i heard it 😭😭 esp the SNL performance.... I think that's literally going to be a top 10 career moment for her it was absolutely INCREDIBLE and i keep watching it!!!

[jmkitsune]

1-50 of the "be nosy asks" 😂

1. What’s your sexual orientation?

Im a demisexual

2. What are you obsessed with right now?

well I jsut finished stargate atlantis so let's go with that cause I did SG1/SGA in like a few months

TEMPTED to do universe buut we'll see

3. Ever done any drugs?

nope- not a huge fan (by that i mean I actually can't stand drugs)

4. What piercings do you want?

I'd like to redo my ears at some point

5. How many people have you kissed?

uhhh we'll say (in sexual/romantic way)

10 people

6. Describe your dream home.

clock tower penthouse overlooking the bay near the ocean or something

7. Who are you jealous of?

those who are successful

8. What’s your favorite show to binge?

simpsons futurama or daria

9. Do you watch porn?

nope

10. Do you have a secret sideblog?

nah I have this blog, a star wars one I kinda forgot about/let die, and one for my first book trilogy I may wipe at some point cause I /have never gotten what I wanted to do with it/

11. If you could teleport anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?

beach

12. What’s one of your fantasies?

to never work again and enjoy comfort

13. Do you have/would you get your nipples pierced?

nah

14. How would you spend a million dollars?

pay off debt

get my own place

not worry about bills for a while

15. Are you in a relationship?

I am not that being said if someone wants me- they gotta earn me cause I'm expensive AS FUCK

16. Do you follow porn blogs?

nah like I follow sex workers but that is cause either friends/acquaintances and I support their hard work but thats bout it

17. Are you angry with anyone right now?

nah

18. What tattoos do you want?

omg too many lol I always want new tattoos

19. If you could change your name, would you? What would you change it to?

I probably would just legally change my name to JM instead of using it as a preferred name

20. What is something you’re obsessed with?

Star Wars, Star Gate, streaming, writing, gaming, uhhh *shrugs*

21. Describe your best friend.

stubborn, funny, pain in the ass, smart, irritating, dependable, makes me wanna throw things at them, protective, short etc

22. Tag someone you think is hot.

Insert every person I know who is attractive cause hi everyone is attractive in someway shape or form

23. Who are five of your favorite bands/musical artists?

Skillet, Linkin Park, Protomen, MCR, Fall out Boy

24. What are three places you want to travel?

Pacific North West

25. Describe your perfect Friday night.

relaxing

26. What’s your favorite season?

actual spring where its not too hot/too cold and enjoyable

27. What’s your pet peeve?

people who willfully want to be ignorant because they think its better than being educated since they think ALL educated people are elitist

28. Who is the funniest person you know?

myself

29. What’s the most overrated movie?

and here is where I catch SO MUCH FLACK

scott pilgrim

30. Tag someone you want to talk to but have been too shy to message.

uhh I actually message a lot of people so like I dont think I need to do that here

31. Do you like paper books or ebooks better?

digital baby

we're in 2021 - save the trees and give me more books to carry in a smaller lighter device :D

32. If you could live in a fictional world, what world would you pick?

the ones I've written

33. If money was no object, what would your wardrobe be like?

Jedi meets Grisha, meets Cloud Strife, Loki and Scarlet Witch

34. What’s your coffee order?

I have not had coffee since high school

and my order then was a medium decaf extra extra from dunks

35. Do you have a crush on anyone?

Im demi, crushes= confused friendship lines lol

36. Do you still have feelings for any of your exes?

of course, im human thats kinda the side effect of loving someone for a long time, there is always a shred of you that lingers for them

37. Have any tattoos?

I have SIX tattoos yes :D

two constellations (Orion/Pisces) on my wrists, my son of hades/twitch tattoo on my right forearm, my KH tattoos on my upper biceps, and my USB/IO Keyhole tattoo on the back of my neck

38. Do you drink?

not anymore, im a depressed drunk and I am very VERY uncomfortable around people who drink/are drunk

39. Are you a virgin?

NOPE

40. Do you have a crush on any of your mutuals?

go sub to my patreon for a year and I'll tell ya ;D

41. How many followers do you have?

go follow all my places get me boosted so you guys follow me everywhere and you can actually see all the shit I put out online content wise besides what I reblog on here

tumblr - 1660

twitch- 416

twitter 337

instagram- 175

tiktok-1877

youtube- 116

42. Describe the hottest person you know.

Have you seen 1990s Brendan Fraser

43. What’s your guilty pleasure?

im a shopaholic when depressed

44. Do you read erotica?

I have, and I'll be honest, there is a part of me that thinks it has quality of writing people should not overlook BUT its not for me I think

45. What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on?

fun fact- I've only been on

46. How many people do you follow?

here- 275, tiktok 545, instagram- 392, twitter 442

47. If you could marry any celebrity, who would you pick?

none, I don't have celebrity crushes and shit (and before you say fraser- I can appreciate someone's attractiveness without having a crush, I'm demi, not blind)

48. Describe your ideal partner.

from two friends who know me best

- witty, witchy, nerdy, someone who I can idealize their flaws into quirks -pretty eyed, dark haired nerdy girl with curves (esp. bangin tiddies) ((I can't believe adrienne SERIOUSLY SAID THAT PART)) who is empathetic and intelligent and willing to work with you and communicate with you to build something solid and long lasting

49. Who do you text the most?

I text Icarus, Britt, and Adrienne the most

50. What’s your favorite kind of weather?

“That’s a tough one. I’d have to say April 25th, because it’s not too hot, not too cold. All you need is a light jacket!”

[ikonist]

i really am convinced that ikon won’t renew their contracts because a) when have they hyped up a year as much as this one??? “2021 will be filled with greats things etc etc” b) they themselves chose to go on kingdom probably because they know they have nothing else to do (yg won’t give them anything to do) and they wanted to do something fun and spontaneous as a group one last time. c) they’ve been interacting with us much more and posting a lot i think they feel bad about disbanding next year 😭😭 anyways what do u think their future is gonna be like as a group/solos outside of yg ? :) anon here

hmm about the kingdom decision i don’t think they had any saying on it, i think it was more of a “we have no option, we either go or stay at home for another few months”, to be honest ikon’s situation is very singular because they seem happier now because it feels like they were given the opportunity to “move on” per se... the whole idecide cb was tough on everyone, and they spend a lot of time on twitter/ig searching about them, so they might’ve encountered a lot of tweets about them disbanding/leaving the company, about how “ikon will never be complete” and that is just... dismotivating? esp when they had to stay at home on a hiatus and social media ban? so i think the reason why they are brighter is ofc they had a comeback and all but also because it finally feels like they can be a functioning group again

[dont-reblog--i-moved]

A lil update on the progress of my new blogs:

Things are going well so far, but I'm defs taking my time getting everything set up. I want my bios n pinned posts on everything to be really thorough but not too redundant, so that's a tough line to find. I also need to make cover photos n cute avis for all of them, so that'll take time too. (Esp cuz I think one of my Xmas gifts from Daddy is smth I wanna use in my new main blog avi.)

I wrote one loooong faq/about on my main blog that I'll link to in my pinned post on every blog. That way there's no excuse for creeps to act all innocent when they ask me annoying shit I've already answered there (and a billion times before.)

I'm hoping to get a bunch of work done on everything over the next few days, and if things go right, I'll be able to open them up to followers right after Xmas. Which I think is awesome cuz it'll get the new year started in a nice, fresh space. 😊

I'll still be online during the day, but I won't be blogging regularly again till these are good to go. So that means my only/last posts here will be abt this and Xmas w Daddy probs. I also have been slacking way too much w my online gig, so I'll be devoting time to that this week a lot more than I have been the past month. (Gotta make that money so I can order Daddy's bday gifts by the end of next month.)

Anyhoo, I think that covers everything for now. Sorry to just throw this huge change at y'all seemingly outta nowhere lol. But it was actually smth I've been thinkin on for weeks. I'm v excited to start a blog under good intentions, instead of doing it out of desperation for a safe space, like when I first made this one. I got a great feeling about this all! 😊

[dearmrsawyer]

@kaspbrakeddie​ tagged me to do this thank you so much!! This is going to be further evidence of the disaster that takes place when i’m asked to make decisions!!!

Rules: pick 5 shows, then answer the following questions, tag some other people

Lost

Supernatural

Fringe

Community

The Flash

i’m really not sure who is invested enough in tv shows to want to do this! i’m going to tag @nightwideopen @gratitudecafe @gloryhalleloujah @candybarrnerd but please please if you love tv please do this. i’d love to know what shows you love and also your answers.

i feel bad about the length of this so i’m going to put it under a cut 

who is your favorite character in 2?

(supernatural) mr sam winchester my first and dearest love! lately i’ve been stopping a lot and thinking about the fact that i’ve followed his journey for FIFTEEN YEARS which is more than half my life and that i love his character just as much now as i did back then! and he’s grown and changed and evolved a lot, and my reasons for loving him have grown and changed and evolved as well!

who is your least favorite character in 1?

(lost) oh, i guess of the main characters probably Michael, he/his backstory just wasn’t as interesting as the rest of the survivors, but he DID have tough competition. 

what is your favorite episode of 4?

(community) IMPOSSIBLE. gah picking FAVOURITES if my life depends on picking favourites i will surely die. okay i don’t know if this is truly my favourite but whenever i’m asked to pick a standout Community episode i always think of “Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design” with the mysterious night school. just so STUPID. just peak stupidity i love it with my whole heart. 

what is your favorite season of 5?

(the flash) ok ok i’m going to go with season 5 aka the season with Nora! oh what a GIFT. making my most beloved characters have to take on the role of father? oh yes give it to me >:) give it to me all the way i’ll take it deep into my heart. 

who is your favorite couple in 3?

(fringe) well Peter and Olivia are one of the few couples in the show but they are one of my fav couples in general re: television so i’m happy to go with them! honourable mention for Alt!Livia and Lincoln tho ;__;

who is your favorite couple in 2?

(supernatural) there hasn’t been a single successful romance in 15 years so jkdgdfjklgdjl tbh tho Sam and Eileen have really hit my heart hard, i haven’t been invested in any of the romances that cropped up over 15 years because i knew there was no point! but even if Sam and Eileen aren’t endgame their brief flicker really touched me.

what is your favorite episode of 1?

(lost) finally an easy favourite omg my favourite episode is the FINALE. in all honesty my most special tv experience ever, like the most moving... the most moving and emotional and satisfying and fulfilling thing i’ve ever had the pleasure to watch on screen, just the most beautiful episode! the most! beautiful! episode of television i’ve ever seen! i remember that night so clearly, and how i felt at every moment, and how i felt after. just so beautiful!! and not for everyone i know but really for me! REALLY so special for me!

what is your favorite episode of 5?

(the flash) i love the episode “Welcome to Earth-2″ when Barry and Cisco travel to Earth 2, that episode is so so funny and their run-ins with Barry’s doppelganger omg. its one of the episodes that makes me laugh soo much

what is your favorite season of 2?

(supernatural) well this is difficult since there are FIFTEEN. a season that always stood out for me was season 8! i’m tempted to choose one of the most recent seasons but let’s give a throwback shout out to season 8, which gave us the first real angel storyline and was sooooooooooooo good, and one of the best season finales of the entire series!!! i LOVE the arc of that season. i feel like after Eric Kripke stepped down post-season 5 the show took a couple of years to find its feet, i really enjoyed season 6 and 7 but i could tell they hadn’t quite nailed a big picture plan yet, you know? it felt a bit like living season to season, which is not how supernatural works best since its got such an epic premise. but season 8 really found its big picture feet and i distinctly remember feeling the seeds of it begin to plant, and regaining that feeling from the earlier seasons where we were headed somewhere bigger!

how long have you watched 1?

(lost) it finished in 2010 but i watched from the very first episode to the very last as their aired! it’s been so many years since i’ve watched any of my tv on tv, it feels so foreign to look back and think, that’s how i watched lost for its entire run! i watched it on tv every week with all the ads and the waits and i loved every second of it! i wouldn’t have changed that experience for the world. even before streaming got so big, i couldn’t do that for long after lost because my internet behaviour changed, and it just wasn’t feasible to wait until shows reached Australian tv. i would’ve been spoiled as soon as it aired in the US, before it came here 4 months later. i do genuinely miss that a lot. i liked the ritual of an episode a week at a time outside my choosing, when i knew millions of others were watching it too. i’m so glad that’s how i watched lost. my experience was wonderful because of it. 

how did you become interested in 3?

(fringe) i genuinely. don’t remember? i feel like it may have been the fact that it was a JJ Abrams production, and after Lost i was so eager for anything JJ had touched. i started watching it not long before Lost finished so it gave me something to think deeply about in the void Lost left behind lol. 

who is your favorite actor in 4?

(community) oh well i think Donald Glover gave some of the best comedic performances in the show, but also the DEAN. what didn’t he give as a performer rofl. 

which do you prefer, 1, 2, or 5?

(lost, supernatural, the flash) Lost is my fav show of all time hence why it is #1!

which show have you seen more episodes of, 1 or 3?

(lost, fringe) I’ve seen all the episodes of everything on my list!? That is why i’ve picked them! There are more episodes of Lost so i would say Lost!

if you could be anyone from 4, who would you be?

(community) oh brother let’s not delve too deep here, annie for her wardrobe lol. 

would a crossover between 3 and 4 work?

(fringe, community) that would be incredible. that would be. but which show’s perspective would the crossover be from? because i think they would deliver different tones! i would sort of like it to be from Fringe’s perspective to see how on earth they’d handle being confronted with the tone of Community.

pair two characters in 1 who would make an unlikely but strangely okay couple?

(lost) i am NOT interested in playing with the author’s will but look, i think pairing just about anyone with Sawyer would have interesting repercussions. mostly because even though he is supposed to be prickly i think (esp with his character growth) he is probably the character most likely to be widely compatible. Sawyer and Sun! Okay! i’m picking Sawyer and Sun. 

overall, which show has the better storyline, 3 or 5?

(fringe, the flash) Fringe had some of what Lost had, which was beautifully intricate storytelling that for me just sits above most television. I really do hold those shows on a pedastool and so of these options i have to pick Fringe, because i would probably pick it over anything except Lost. 

which has the better theme music, 2 or 4?

(supernatural, community) okay okay since supernatural doesn’t really have theme music are we counting Carry On My Wayward Son as its theme music? Because............. i may have to go with that. 

[habibialkaysani]

okay so. a lot has been going on lately and I haven't had much time to be on here or time in general. now that the week is over tho things are starting to die down hopefully. and like I do with work emails I'm gonna just write a list, of all the things that have been going on, because I feel like my brain is about to explode otherwise.

lots of rambling, potentially triggering stuff under the cut:

1) pain. so much pain. I thought I'd moved past this endo thing, or at least that the pain was contained because of the meds the gyno gave me plus the progesterone that was definitely easing the pain for a bit during the month. but the ones my gyno gave me, they can only be taken during my period and mine isn't starting. so I've been in agony, like in so much pain, and the only relief has been a hot water bottle and codeine. and I don't want to take more days off when I've already taken sick days this year - which is not like me, at all. but potentially that might not be an issue for a while if I end up having to work from home. and in terms of addressing the root cause of the problem, that's unlikely, because the mri I had of my pelvis came back normal. no indications of endometriosis which I expected because this shit doesn't show on ultrasounds or mris. I do think there might be a chance it shows on a transvaginal ultrasound but they outright refuse to do that which really fucking pisses me off bc it's on the basis of me never being laid before which as I've mentioned is ridiculous.

2) speaking of. this motherfucking coronavirus is doing my head in. seriously i had to order hand sanitiser for the office and it still hasn't arrived. I did manage to get a few masks but god those were expensive. and just generally it's all anyone will talk about at work which is driving me nuts. and what makes it worse is that I'm going out of my mind thinking about speedy and if she gets it, because she's got a heart condition and her immune system isn't very strong even for regular flu. this shit will hit her hard and I'm terrified of that esp after hearing boris fucking johnson saying in his speech that people are going to lose loved ones. I don't know what I'll do if I lose her. actually I have an idea and it would not be good. I spoke to my brother who is a healthcare professional and he said that it's best to get in touch with the cardiology team that look after speedy to see if we can do anything preventative or get her tested.

3) in better news, my brother just announced to our family that he's getting married. already its causing arguments and his fiancee comes from a more well off family (the bar is low tho admittedly) so we're all gonna be scrambling to get our tiny house somewhat in shape for when my bro's future in laws visit in a couple weeks. but it's still good news I think because my bro is smitten and that's just nice to see. his fiancee makes him happy and that's something I'm really glad he found. they want a small wedding too so hopefully we'll have like 200 guests max, which would be sacrilege in any desi household lol.

4) I've been looking for a new job for a while now. things at work have been tough, ever since my old manager gave in her notice. I don't mind my current manager all that much, but she's in hr, and she's clearly never managed anyone before because she is nowhere near as good a support system as my old manager. I could go to my old manager and complain about something and she'd listen, and she actively made an effort to monitor my workload. this new one, she just doesn't put the same effort in and she also just doesn't understand the role I'm in either. she seems to think the job I do is easy and straightforward when it is neither, on the basis that she thinks admin is something anyone could do, and she does nothing to try and ease things when my workload gets heavy. plus my managers manager who is also in hr is just really not nice. she enjoys a power trip way too much. that and the fat cats that are our clients - well suffice it to say I think my time here is up. so I've been looking and I found a nonprofit that was hiring. I did my first interview with them and it went surprisingly well. and now I've got my second one next friday. I really hope that goes well too and that I get the job, just so I can see the look on my managers managers face when I give in my notice 😂 and this new job if I get it would be five fewer hours and I think that could do wonders for my wellbeing. and my sanity.

5) writing. I've done none of it. it's a problem. I don't know what to do to make my mojo come back because I write the best when I'm alone, and I'm never on my own nowadays unless I'm in bed in pain, in which case writing is the last thing I feel like doing. but I also really want to write. so badly. I feel like I'm emotionally more stable when I'm writing. I'm happier. and I just do not have that right now which is not fun.

6) reading - now this is something I have done. my dear friend reen recommended a series of books called reluctant royals, by alyssa cole, and omg. they are so good. I powered through three big novels and two novellas. like I devoured them. and I'm being reminded of how much I love books. good ones. they made me laugh a lot and I'm really glad my friend recommended them.

7) speaking of devouring. a few weeks ago I found on several occasions that people were offering their seats to me on public transport, presumably because they thought I was pregnant. it was this combined with my doctor admitting my bmi wasn't normal (tho only when I asked if this might be causing the pain) that made me realise that I needed to lose weight drastically, and to eat better and walk more. so I've been eating more veggies and salad. trying to put more greens on my plate. not have fast food as often. in all honesty I'm not sure how much of a difference its actually made, but I do know that I feel a little better having done so over the last few weeks. my brother also said I looked like I had lost weight. I've also noticed it a little in my tummy going in a bit too. but I also know that this is a rabbit hole I don't want to go down too far. I worry I might have already with the weighing which I've been doing far too often now that there's scales at work (for weighing big packages). I don't want this to spiral out of control. but I think I've done okay so far, minus the weighing thing - I've always eaten when I've felt hungry so it's not like I'm starving myself. and so far I've only lost about 3kg. which I feel is significant but also nowhere near enough when it comes to the nhs bmi calculator.

8) my little brother has been acting up for months now, and tbh it's starting to give me anxiety. my mother found weed in his room and he's just been rebelling in what I see as normal teenage ways like smoking and staying out late, but it's also affecting his school and I'm worried he won't leave with decent a levels bc he already failed once. and his school keeps emailing my dad about him supposedly being absent, and my dad's response to this for about two months now has been to post a screenshot of each email into the family group chat and demand where my bro has been. it doesn't help. and I don't need to be notified every time he skips school or whatever like that is not my fucking problem to have to see when I'm at work and have enough stresses as it is. my dad is an idiot and honestly some days I would dearly love to punch the man in the face.

9) I start my group therapy in a couple weeks. it’s for generalised anxiety and I am really, really hoping it will help me because the other group therapy I’ve done previously, like a couple months back, has proven to be really helpful. here’s hoping.

10) if anyone is still reading this far - I realise this sounds a lot like I'm feeling sorry for myself. maybe I am to some degree. but my life is just a lot right now and I'm genuinely a bit shocked I'm still in one piece and that I haven't had a nervous breakdown yet. everything is a lot and I feel like I'm going through a lot of change. that's hard. but I'm trying my best to get through this and I hope somehow I can. I actually left tumblr for a bit because for various reasons I didn’t feel as safe talking about my problems on here, through no fault but my own really. I’m hoping I’ve moved past that now.

[elsaclack]

hi em how are you? i've been dying to get your opinion on the lover album, if you have the time/interest :)

hi i’m good!!! i’m real good my mom’s doctor gave us really good news yesterday so i’m cruising on good vibes rn and yeah i’m great!!!

literally i have been DYING to unload my thoughts on lover since 3 seconds after it came out omg????? i had a deeply intense discussion with my roommate last night about each song on the album and what it specifically means to us so like this is Peak Talking Opportunity For Me which as a messy hoe i honestly love

i’m putting it under the cut though bc i do not want to be Obnoxious

okay first and foremost, i forgot that you existed? DEEPLY iconic. my roommate doesn’t like this one as much as some of the others on the album but it’s def top 3 for me. like, everything about it is so perfect - the message the song sends is one of hope for people who are kind of hopelessly tangled up in drama at the moment (i.e. don’t worry, soon enough you’re going to wake up one day and forget that all of those people even exist (which is HELLA true)) but like!!! even the music she wrote with the song kind of supports the message!! my roommate’s biggest complaint with that song is that she feels like the music needs to Build and Go Places more than it does, but like........god the whole point of the song is that it’s written to a person taylor’s indifferent toward, shouldn’t the music seem a little indifferent too?? like yes there’s joy and it does build and it does move but if it DID get super dramatic it would actually contradict the message of the song so like??? it’s??? perfect??? and i have scream-singed it in my car a million times already thank u for asking

i’ll be honest, cruel summer doesn’t do as much for me as some of the other songs on the album,,,,,i mean i like it and i can DEF sing along to it and the line “i love you ain’t that the worst thing you’ve ever heard” is such a mood. it’s the first song on the album that i was like oh she probably started writing that (or at least getting the idea to write it) the summer every angry mob in america was calling for her head bc like there’s definitely a sense of self-deprecation/preservation in some of the lyrics. idk it strikes me as a song about how terrifying vulnerability is especially in the face of such public and global hatred directed toward you

LOVER. lover. lllllllover oh my god i love lover which i was not prepared to do since that word seriously bums me out 100% of the time but it’s so sweet??? so sweet and honest and like. what i thought love was when i was a kid?? just finding that other person and being like “oh, you’re like....you’re IT” and like HA wouldn’t it be grand to be in love?? also the brIDGE??? THE BRIDGE!!!!! LADIES AND GENTLEMEN WILL YOU PLEASE STAND!!! WITH EVERY GUITAR STRING SCAR ON MY HAND!!! I TAKE THIS MAGNETIC FORCE OF A MAN TO BE MY LOVERRRRRR!!!! MY HEART’S BEEN BORROWED AND YOUR’S HAS BEEN BLUE!!! ALL’S WELL THAT ENDS WELL TO END UP WITH YOU!!! SWEAR TO BE OVER-DRAMATIC A N D T R U E TO MY LOVERRRRR!!!! and oh man i wanna be in love anyways moving on

the man honestly took me a few tries to like but i definitely have a healthy amount of respect for it now. like idk it felt a little out of place at first given that this whole album is supposed to be about love and that song is,,,,,,not (at first glance) but the more i listen to it the more i realize that it sort of is in a way? like she’s been painted as this serial dater since day one when in reality her dating history isn’t really that sordid?? just extremely public. and in listening to the lyrics it sort of dawned on me that her frustration with the way society treats women stems from that reputation (ha) that was forced on her and the way that reputation colored every other interaction she’s ever had with popular culture. like every microinteraction i’ve heard about involving her has been overwhelmingly positive but then you look at media as a whole and they make her out to be this entirely different person and part of u has to wonder if it would even be an issue if you took all the same behaviors, dating history, microinteractions etc. and applied them to an equally famous man. and the answer is no it would not be an issue

the archer made me cry the first time i heard it and it still kind of strikes me at my core a lot if i don’t distract myself with other things while it’s on? like sitting down and actually listening to the words is. tough bc i relate to it a lot and not in the fun scream-sing in the car way that i relate to i forgot that you existed. that song actually makes me really uncomfortable with who i am bc like god!!!!! i have been the archer!!!! i have been the prey!!!! i don’t understand why people have left me and i REALLY don’t understand why people stay!!!!! in all seriousness though it goes back to that struggling with vulnerability thing - by being vulnerable you’re opening up the scariest, rawest parts of yourself to other people and risking being rejected for those scary raw parts. it’s a song about struggling between building those walls up to protect yourself or risking getting hurt for the sake of love - and lucky for her she seems to have found someone who has seen the scary raw stuff in her life and has decided that he wants to stay

i think he knows is the song both me and my roommate bump in our cars whenever we go places together because it’s SO FUN i don’t even know what else to say other than i cry laughing every time my roommate tries to sing “lyrical smile indigo eyes hand on my thigh we can follow the sparks i’ll drive” bc it’s SUCH a tongue-twister for her it’s fhaldskfhadslfkj FUNNY

miss americana & the heartbreak prince is another one that i was kind of so-so about at first but the more i listen to it the more i love it?? it’s so Dramatique in the best way like it makes me feel like i’m watching a movie preview about a dystopian high school in slow motion and honestly i LOVE it

my roommate’s favorite song on the whole album is paper rings and i love it too honestly it’s another one we bump in the car bc it’s SUPER fun to sing with other people lmfao she described it as “the song you hear in a preview for a romcom set in new york city” and i was like YEAH THAT’S ACCURATE but what’s really funny is that?? that’s probably?? exactly?? what it is?? anyways

i’m kind of...meh...about cornelia street yikes i’ve read people talking about how good it is and i’m trying to like it but it’s just,,,,i mean it’s not bad not by any stretch of the imagination but personally i like other songs on the album more hfaldskfjs

death by a thousand cuts!!!!!! that’s my roommate’s other favorite song lmao!!! again the more i listen to it the more i like it but i def like others on the album more at this point

i had london boy stuck in my head all day yesterday it’s so funny god i know a lot of people who live in and around london have some issues with it which is FINE i won’t pretend like i know anything about it but i think it’s cute LMAO

i can’t listen to soon you’ll get better without legit ugly crying (like we’re talking full on sobbing) just because of everything going on with my own mom right now so maybe in a year or two when things have cleared a little for her i might be able to listen to it again but rn i’ve only listened to it all the way through once

honestly i don’t really like false god that much and i can’t really identify why it’s just,,,,fhasdlfk

you need to calm down is just a straight up bop that i sing in the shower a lot and i know it was controversial esp after the music video came out but like. on a base level the song is just fun

afterglow is one of my other top three on the album,,,,,,,,bc again,,,,,,,,,,relatable,,,,,,,like realizing that she’s safe with this person after kind of instinctively flying off the handle,,,,,,,god. idk i’ve heard a lot of apology songs in the past but this one kind of strikes me bc like,,,,idk she takes full responsibility for it rather than trying to justify it with the conditions that beat that kind of behavior into her over the last few years. she’s taking responsibility for her actions, she’s apologizing, she’s asking him to stay, and at the same time she’s pointing out that she’s human and will probably make similar mistakes in the future and idk that’s just reassuring? bc i’m also human and i also make really big dumb mistakes that hurt other people in the name of self-preservation and i can only hope that someday i’ll meet someone who will stick around anyways

me! is a bop as well it’s massively overplayed at this point and i kind of skip it when i’m listening by myself but my roommate and i scream-sing that one too LMFAO

it’s nice to have a friend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this really is what i thought love would be when i was in like 3rd grade and just becoming aware of it as a concept!!!!!!!! there was a little boy who lived next door and we were best friends growing up and there was never any romantic aspect to our friendship (that i am aware of) but we used to play outside together all the time and it was sweet and simple and secure and that’s the way that song makes me feel!!! also i read that every single instrument/vocal performance on that song (outside of taylor herself) was done by a children’s music group which just adds to the childlike sweetness of the song and gah it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside

daylight,,,,,,,,,,,,,that’s my number 1 y’all i freaking LOVE daylight holy HELL i can’t wait to make my other roommate play/sing it with me at our house show next month??? god it’s just. it’s so indicative of where she’s been, the hell she’s been through both internally- and externally-imposed, and how it makes this moment she now gets to have with the person she loves that much sweeter?? i don’t know i feel like my heart is going to explode every time i hear it and i’m not even remotely close to being in love so i can’t imagine how much deeper it’ll hit if/when i ever do fall in love again and

god i just

i really like lover as an album a WHOLE lot 

[ethercals]

[ MUSE 80 ] ●● is that BEN BARNES? no, that’s just JACKSON ‘JAX’ SINCLAIR, the 42 year old CISMALE who is a ENTREPRENEUR. some say they’re UNDIGNIFIED AND HARSH, but their family and friends will swear they’re LOYAL AND BRILLIANT. when i think of them, i think of at loaded guns under desk drawers, empty bottles of bourbon, a snarling grin curving his mouth. i wonder if HIS family knows that HE’S A CRIME BOSS . ●● 

wbk i’m a weak bitch, but i’ve lowkey had an idea for this muse for like seven months, so here we go!

jackson sinclair was born lucky. the eldest son of leopold and ginebra sinclair, he had a silver spoon in his mouth from the moment that he was born.

his entire life, it was clear that the sinclair name was only known for one thing: wealth. his father owned a chain of hotels, inherited from his grandfather, and his mother have her fingers in the oil business. both their families separately had more money than they knew what to do with with, and together? they were practically gods.

that’s how jax always thought of them, anyway. he idolises his parents, thought that they could do no wrong and lived their best possible lives. parties every weekend, summers in europe, never wanting for nothing because whatever they wanted, they got.

they spoiled him rotten, too. whatever he wanted, he got without argument. most of the time, anyway. they may have given him what he wanted, but if he ever acted out against their rules, he lost it in a flash. cars would be taken away and his accounts frozen if he shamed their name, his father expecting much of him as the eldest.

he got a lot sneakier after learning that lesson the hard way, and before long, he was a mastermind at avoiding their suspicions of what he was doing. school bored him, the man far too intelligent for his own good, and there were many days where he ditched to go drinking with his friends, making up for it with his grades and that he was paying the office to mark him as present when he wasn’t.

like i said, too smart and rich for his own good smh.

he was kind of rough and tough too. kinda had guzman vibes from elite? easy to piss off, even easier to get a fight out of. he was 100% that ass that had his friends hold a guy down while he beat them up.

when he graduated high school, he went to MIT to study physics and chemical engineering.

it was also around that time that jax learned about the real family business. not only had his father been grooming him to take over command of the hotel business, but of his side business. turned out mr leopold the first had control of the crime ring in all of massachusetts. he profited from everything, had control of the police as well as the drug trade. 

it was a lot for jax to take in and accept, but his father had always had a way of wording things to make anything sound like it made sense. he talked jax into it, little by little. he already knew how to use a gun, and had been boxing since he was a kid, and he already had the smarts and potential to be involved in the running of that business.

even more than that, his past relationship with ariana became more intense.

he really fell in love with her, and when they found out they were having lena, that only solidified things for jax, even if he was terrified.

three kids later, jax really was feeling like he was on top of the world. he had his kids, his wife, was doing well in his transition towards taking over the family businesses. the only kink came up when ari was getting invested over her father, and everything went to shit.

when she left, he was in denial for a hot minute. he thought that she was just in hiding to escape the backlash of her father getting arrested. then a week past and no matter who he sent and what he tried, she hadn’t come home and he had no information.

he could only assume the worst. that she had been kidnapped, or killed, or worst of all, that she had simply left.

with a newborn to look after and two young kids, jax had a really hard time readjusting to what his life had become without his wife. over the years he tried his best, but he definitely had his shortcomings as a father and made mistakes in those early days.

still, he was trying. he did his best as a father, gave them freedom and all they could want, but still put his foot down when need be. 

he lost his father a few years after ariana left, and he officially took over the hotel chain, as well as his underground business. he ended up buying out a chain of restaurants and taking over them to in order to expand his empire, as well as sitting on the board of his mother’s business.

has basically spent the last twenty years working his ass off. he wanted all of his business to thrive, and he completely chased the power that came with it all. he wanted everyone to know his name, or the persona he created for himself when it came to his less than legal activities. he wanted to see his kids through school, raise them the only way he knew how.

has been such a womanizer over the years at first bc he couldn’t commit to another woman again ( esp bc he was p sure they were still married ) and then just because it had become a habit.

he’s at a point in his life now that he thought he could just relax, and become more of a man of leisure. work is running smoothly enough for him, and he has been spending more and more time lately out on the yacht, attending dinner parties and underground fight clubs.

then ariana came back into his life, and found out that he’s gonna be a grandpa, and there’s the whole teddy being pregnant. needless to say he is stressed af rn and is 10/10 done with life tbh.

he just wants to go race cars and get his new drug going through the city but alas, billionaire boys club has to be hard sometimes.

personality wise, he’s kind of blunt. always looks kinda tough, stone faced and mad, and in some ways he is. he’s cocky af too, arrogant, and a spoiled shit. has a mad soft spot for his family though, and will literally kill to protect them. 

always found in designer clothing, usually tailored suits or all black with leather jackets.

has a mad car collection, watch collection. basically he collects everything expensive bc lord knows the man can afford it. 

i’ve rambled enough already, but yah! that’s the gist of my mans. hit that big old heart button if you want to plot!

[unnotiicedd-blog]

hey, lads!! it’s ya boy lake and i play too many hockey muses. read below the cut to read abt bennett!!

     ╰☆╮ TYLER POSEY,  21, MALE, HE/HIM ☆ — wait , is that ( BENNETT RICE ) ? dean lockwood has been looking for them . you didn’t hear it from me but , apparently the ( JUNIOR ) might know something about the whole omega chi & kappa tau situation . while they can be ( OVERLOOKED & AGGRESSIVE ) , they’re far too ( EASY-GOING & LAIDBACK ) to be involved , right ? those who know them say they’re reminded of ( EASY SMILES, SWEAT DRIPPING DOWN YOUR BACK, IGNORING OLD SCARS, LOOKING OUT BUT NOT SEEING IN ) whenever they’re around .  honestly , the ( AERONAUTICS ) major should try to keep their head down . after the events of last semester , lockwood is out for blood . did you know that ( BENNETT ) is a member of ( THE ICE HOCKEY TEAM ) ? that might explain why their name is being brought up .  ☆ LAKE , 20, THEY/THEM, & EST╰☆╮

THE STORY

— bennett rice was born in SALT LAKE CITY, UTAH, but he didn’t stay there for very long. still, it’s ironic when he thinks about it, that someone born in the desert fell in love with the ice. he barely remembers utah though, as a couple years after his birth, they moved back to his mother’s home state of minnesota. it really was inevitable then that the moment he started walking, he was skating too.

— the next few years and throughout high school he played his way onto ( good and notable ) teams every winter and played ball hockey in the street during the hot summer months.

— hockey may have been in bennett’s blood; however, his mother knew the merit of bennett being a well-rounded athlete : he ran cross-country, played soccer, and lacrosse. he especially excelled at soccer, but he absolutely hated the practices, so his stint with it did not last particular long. but he had a tough competitive streak, doing well in xc and track, and even lacrosse to a degree ( it certainly helped spades with his hand-eye coordination ). he was fifteen when he fully focused on hockey competitively.

— his senior year of high school it was decided he was able to go straight into college hockey rather than taking a year or more to play in the USHL, and he committed to playing for hollingsworth : a good school to get a degree at, a good school to play hockey for.

— that summer after graduation brought another surprise too : he was drafted to the vancouver canucks in the 4th round of the NHL draft.

— he’s going to have a choice to make at the end of this year : go pro or stay for his final year. who knows what’ll happen...

THE MISC ( injury/scars tw )

— he’s not in a frat but he honestly floats around a bunch of different parties when he feels like it.

— he’s studying aeronautics because besides going pro, he’s always wanted to be a pilot.

— he hates when people worry about him which is real ironic since he worries about everyone else too much ; be it his team, his friends, of family. it comes with being extremely loyal. on the ice he hates to see teammates pushed around and pretty much will always do something about it. he doesn’t like getting aggressive off the ice but he CAN if he has to.

— when he was drafted, he saw his name on the tv screen, immediately stood up and told his buddies they were going to the lake.

— PLAYING STYLE: he’s a defensive defenseman ; physical, very smart, very good on the penalty kill. his motto is, “if no one notices me, then i’m doing my job” because pretty much if he’s noticed, it’s most likely because he gave up a bad goal ( now that’s not always tru ofc, but…. basically, yeah ). he enjoys being under the radar; as never wanted the spotlight, just to play the sport he loves.

— there’s this large blotchy thing on his neck that kinda looks like a hickey or rash but it’s actually a three a half inch scar he got when he was 16 when a skate slashed his neck. he’s very lucky it didn’t hit his main artery. it runs from about his adam’s apple and extends toward the side of his neck.

— “tough as a junkyard dog” ; “an absolute beast” ; will play injured ( i don’t condone this and no one should but i can’t stop him… )

— very calm off the ice ; very easy-going and likes to keep things light. it’s his way with dealing with stress and pressure : just pretend it isn’t there and it won’t affect you.

— he’s a hella private person but kinda not in an obvious way?? like he doesn’t share much about himself, esp what he’s feeling or even when massive things happen in his life; even his mom doesn’t know a lot of things that happen/happened to him. however, at the same time he’s extremely personable and friendly, which makes it not super obvious to his friends that they don’t really know a ton about him until they really think about it. ( hence: the two-way mirror — he can see out but no one sees in ). he’s also also quite unemotional to an extent ; he doesn’t let things affect him and he doesn’t fear a whole lot. not cocky, persay, but confident.

— he lives on the top floor of places/really high up ; he really likes being high up, not because of any sense of ego but actually being high up and looking down at things helps him keep things in perspective( everything is just a small part of each other ). not many people know who he is, except for maybe the most die hard fans, and he likes that. being anonymous.

— 6′2″

— has definitely perfected the art of wearing baseball hats and snapbacks backwards

— honestly, probably Too Good. NOT the dad friend though. more like the older brother friend.

— he was raised by a single mother ; his father has never been in the picture and that hasn’t really ever bothered him. he was lucky enough to grow up surrounded by loving relatives on his mother’s side and it never really felt like he was missing anything.#DoubleShifting

CONNECTIONS

i’m not a fan of general wc, mostly bc i’m bad at them, but i will be reading intros later and getting inspired!! likewise, if you’re inspired by bennett, feel free to drop me a line :))))

[jjkfire]

Hi sweety! How are you doing? Sorry I’ve been so absent recently, but I’ve been thinking a lot about life, the things I wanna do. I even went to a 3-day immersion power course on how to live in high performance. A lot have happened around the house, some bad, but some very good! Since your last reply, I’ve been brewing thoughts in my mind about the photo blog I wanted to do and you inspired me so so much with your courage and passion that I finally made it! That’s why I named it pp-epiphany. +

Even if nobody sees it, I’m happy. There’re few posts, cause I made it very late at night, and still there’re no pics of Japan, buuut I posted some I took from my grandparents’ farm (I don’t know how to translate “chácara” properly) this weekend. Bit by bit, I’mma fill it with places I’ve been and homemade foods! I’m no professional photographer nor do I own a prof camera, so please don’t be harsh hahaha Now responding to the last reply! Thank you! So so so much! It means more than you think! ++

Even if nobody sees it, I’m happy. There’re few posts, cause I made it very late at night, and still there’re no pics of Japan, buuut I posted some I took from my grandparents’ farm (I don’t know how to translate “chácara” properly) this weekend. Bit by bit, I’mma fill it with places I’ve been and homemade foods! I’m no professional photographer nor do I own a prof camera, so please don’t be harsh hahaha Now responding to the last reply! Thank you! So so so much! It means more than you think! ++

Esp when most 99% of the compliments I hear are filled with pretense, just to please and gain sth back). Even so, I won’t change my way; the goodness and sincerity in my heart will stay. Most ppl are not nice to me, and that’s the main reason I choose to spread love and happiness. We usually hear only bad things; I think that’s very wrong; we have to speak our minds and that includes positive things (but only when it’s due; never to please). I do hope ppl were more like this too; like you. +++

You have a good heart, you’re kind, strong and inspiring. We’re already changing the world; bit by bit, coloring it vibrant hues. Even if I weren’t interacting, I’ve been noticing you posting and replying a lot more. I’ll take that as a very good thing. I’m ecstatic your job and coworkers are this nice to you! Even your boss! You deserve it! Every time I hear about all the new and nice things that’s happening in your life, I get so excited! (and proud). ++++

Success isn’t mainly about money, is a whole lot of things. And to me, you’re very successful now and I just can hope it grows more and more! Love you to the moon and back! Have a great day and even more amazing week! 🥰😍😘💜🌕 PS just out of curiosity My top 5 fave fruits are 1. Banana 2. Mango 3. Cherry (only the sweet ones) 4. Apple 5. Watermelon - just basically fruits I can eat at room temperature (I really cannot eat cold foods; and may even say I dislike some)

/////

hello!!! sorry for the late reply ): like always hahaah. but wow 3-day course! i’m not sure if it’s the same but i’ve really been into self help books lately. they’re super fun! if you like that type of thing, i think smarter, better, faster by charles duhigg was a really good read and i loved outliers by malcolm gladwell. they’re really good books to start out with. really cool stories in the books that are just so crazy… the mind and the world is just so interesting. 

sorry to hear that some not so good things have happened ): i hope everything’s alright!! and about your photo blog :D i checked it out! love the pictures and love your reblogs!!! made me feel so nostalgic that i logged into my old blog where i reblogged photography and other stuff. was nice to be back on there for a while haha now i wont check it for like another year again lol. but anyway i’m so glad you started that photo blog! that’s so exciting (: i hope you take more photos! and bro don’t worry about not having a pro camera or anything. photography is meant to be fun and as long as you have something that can take a pic, then it’s good enough. and apparently chácara is ranch haha but sounds like you had fun there! anyway can’t wait to see your japan photos and i hope you continue to take more photos, explore your city and etc. or just take photo of things that make you happy (:

truth be told i’ve had this photography instagram account idea for the longestttt time and i really hope i get around to actually posting on the account some day… one day haha.

ajsdhjsakhd you’re really the sweetest bean in this entire universe but you know what i think i’ve come to learn that a lot of the time, if you have the right mindset, life’s just a lot nicer that way. it’s just keeping that mindset strong and trying to see positives in every situation, beauty in all the small things. gratitude has been really life changing for me. just being thankful for small things really makes life nice. and big things too! like when you send such sweet messages to me (”:

i’m sorry that the people around you aren’t genuine ): that’s tough ): but i’m glad that you don’t let that bring you down! keep spreading kindness and love bb 💕 sending you all the love in the universe!!!

haha oh my god i really talk a lot on this blog. and you guys don’t even see half of it. i literally have 900 posts in my drafts and i mostly dump whatever’s in my brain and save it in my drafts lol. but aw thank you! yeah i’m having fun at my job and it’s a lot of work and there’s a lot to learn but i feel like im being challenged so i like that. but thanks for being so supportive ugh you’re literally the best. know that i’m rooting for you in the very same way!

it really means a lot for you to say that to me and yeah success to me is being happy! so if you’re happy, you’re winning at life. and i know money isn’t everything but i did my whole budget on an excel spreadsheet the other day and it was so gratifying hahahaha. it’s very nerdy but i love excel a lot.

that’s a neat list!!! i love cold watermelon and mango haahha but i get it cold food isn’t for everyone! god i love mangos and if there’s one thing i miss about the tropics, it’s the cheap tropical fruits 😍 nayway i hope you have a great week and an amazing month! i wish you nothing but absolute happiness (: i hope everything is going well for you bub. seeing you in my inbox just makes me smile x1000000!!!

[hirakdesherrani]

EBSS 24-28 June:

Okay, first off, I just have to hand it to the writers for covering so much ground in a span of 5 episodes. Was it rushed? Yes, for sure. But it was so, so good. Not on a single count of writing, did I feel dissatisfied. Star Plus has been ruthless, ordering a revamp so soon (ram jaane what trp they expected on this slot, esp. during the WC), but writers did an incredible job under so much pressure.👏 Its been a while I’ve been so impressed with the writing of a show, and I’m not going to stop gushing about it so soon. 

Anyways, here are some scattered thoughts:

What a longgggg, and exhausting day it has been for Kabir, from parting with his wife and son, to finding out that his Dad is a shitty human being, to saving his Dad from burning to ashes, to finding himself and his family homeless, boy has been having a tough time, all within 24 hours. 😓

Initially, I was mighty annoyed that instead of giving us Kabir v/s Jahnvi, they started with the good bahu v/s bad bahu crap. Though happy about the revamp, I was curious about how will the writers manage to bring Kabir into the picture? And they did it quite smoothly. So, obviously good bahu Kavya has to poke her nose everywhere, but of course, Jahnvi can’t have that. So, she gets her out of the way, without doing anything really, because Kavya, like an idiot, has to stalk Jahnvi. Toh ab bhugto. I ain’t feeling bad for that girl. 😈

A lot of people felt it was wrong on Jahnvi’s part to frame Kavya, esp. considering she has been shown so concerned for Aarush. But the thing is, Jahnvi prizes her revenge above everything else, so it was obvious from the start, that Aarush would get hurt somewhere down the line. Will Jahnvi regret it in future? That remains to be seen. 

Coming back, by framing Kavya, the writers managed to involve Kabir as well as, provide a dignified exit for Kavya. I loved the parting scene of Kabir-Kavya, surprisingly really, that by the time I like them, its too late. What I liked most, was Kabir insisting on leaving the house with Kavya, with their heads held high. Kavya already has the reassurance that Kabir trusts her, but Kabir didn’t want Kavya’s departure from the house under a cloud of accusation. He was so concerned for her respect. And that has made Kabir my most favorite male lead in the last five years, right after Asad. I just love male leads who can take a stand for females. Especially, in this case, because Kabir isn’t in love with Kavya, but he knows his duties as a husband, and friend. 😍

Kavya’s departure also seemed sensible. Even without Jahnvi framing her, PK didn’t lose an opportunity to humiliate her. The kind of asshole he is, I don’t ever see PK accepting Kavya. I’m glad she actually moved away from the shitty Mittal household, more so for Aarush, at least bachcha bach gaya. But I’ll miss baby Aarush. 😔

Now that his wife and friend was framed, obviously Kabir has to investigate, and it was the most natural transition from Kavya to Kabir as the protagonist (like it should have been from the start). I just loved how Kabir proceeded with it. The investigation, esp. the scene where he fools Amma with the microchip, was so sleek. The writers remembered that he’s a special agent, and I do assure you, its a rarity by ITV standards. 

Another thing I’d like to highlight is that Kabir doesn’t lose his head through allllllll the shit that’s been happening. Why? Obviously, because he is an army man, and they are trained to deal with pressurized situations. The writers underlined this fact very subtly, I don’t even know if viewers caught on. After all that has transpired, Kabir was still being patient and  composed when he was talking to Pooja. 

Which brings me to Jahnvi/Pooja.....I love her so much. I think the best thing about Jahnvi is that she is so unforgiving. YAS! We need more female characters, esp. female leads who are unforgiving. Tellywood has innumerable times reinforced this idea of a kind and forgiving, farmabaddar, female lead. After Maya (of Beyhadh), thankfully this trend is changing. I am so, so glad that Jahnvi tried to immolate PK, and even gladder of the fact, that not just the perpetrators, but she punished junior Mittals too, in a way. It might seem unfair, but c’mon, they are grown up, educated adults who had a good childhood, and they can fend for themselves, unlike Pooja and Rani who lost their father, their childhood, and would have suffered a worse fate if Amma had not adopted them. Bless Amma, one of the best parental figures in ITV rn. 🤧

Was Jahnvi’s plan rushed? Hella yes. But there are two things here, first with Manohar, and then Kavya/Kabir, Pooja has had two close shaves. Even if she framed Kavya, Kabir was sure to find the truth. So, obviously she had to expedite her plan. Secondly, Jahnvi has been working on her plan for at least two years, I’m presuming, entering PK’s company as an employee, gaining his favor and trust on her skills over even his own son, then marrying into the family and gaining their trust. For the audience, the show is only two months old, but from the point where the show started, Jahnvi has already spent quite a few years reaching up till this stage, so she can’t delay anymore, especially with the chances of her cover being blown increasing. 

The plan seemed too simple, but the thing is, PK was going to read the papers. For Jahnvi to avoid that, she needed two things, his unflinching trust, which she had gained over the years, and second, a pressure situation, where he can be distracted easily. I’d say finding out about a supposed arch enemy, threatening your rebellious son, and your Dad being paralyzed post a heart attack, can be pretty stressful.

Obviously Jahnvi could have lured him to a shady place and burnt him long ago, but she needed to ruin him and his family completely. So, getting the papers signed was a priority. 

I think this is where the best part comes. OUFFFF Shrenu was so good in the scene burning down that house. The transition from pain and hurt, to resolve and anger, and deathly calm after she did the act. Terrific! 🔥 In the same episode, Zain and Ayub were great too.

Kabir’s motivations are so clear. He is the good cop, upholding what is right and just. Obviously he saved his Dad, because he is a son after all, but right next moment he threatened his father, in a non-negotiable tone, that he better surrender himself to the law. 

And here we have the clash of values. While Pooja follows her own law, i.e. Hammurabi’s code of eye for an eye, Kabir staunchly believes in law and justice. I really liked that he restrained Dhruv, when Pooja ridiculed him, because he understood Pooja’s motivations and maybe even sympathized with her on some level. 

It was a little thick of PK to shout at Dhruv and blame him for marrying Jahnvi, when he was the one who trusted Jahnvi the most in the family, and even ridiculed his son, and thanked the stars that his son was lucky enough to marry someone like Jahnvi. Hmpf.

About Dhruv’s actions, I’ve already mentioned in another post, so moving on to Pooja. I am so glad that she broke off the relationship. Why was it surprising to anyone that she had never married him for real? I thought it was obvious. I mean, she wasn’t going to really marry a guy, in the legal sense, for the sake of revenge. That too, the son of her enemy. I was so glad when she said, “Mere kareeb aane ki koshish mat karna”. Throughout the two months of the show, they’ve shown us Jahnvi’s discomfort when Dhruv comes near, even though she did feel guilty sometimes about using him. Imagine her relief to be finally rid of him. Agreed, she should not have ridiculed him like that, but there is no polite way of telling a person that “you are a dumbfuck and I used you for my revenge.” What annoyed me were the reactions on Twitter condemning Pooja for humiliating Dhruv, and insisting that JanRuv should be endgame, because ‘Dhruv loves her so much’. I mean, what sort of shitty male entitlement is this? More so, because it is propagated by female stans. 

Anyways, coming back to the climax of this drama, SHRENU WAS PHENOMENAL. The transition from rage to mockery to a business-like voice telling the shitty Mitals to gtfo was so well done.👏 Esp. the moment, when she drills into their heads that ‘folks, that car ain’t yours, leave it’, I cackled so bad! 😂

I absolutely loved this week’s episodes. Only thing is, Imma gonna miss my shady Jahnvi Mittal. Shrenu was at her best with her micro-expressions and transitions, and I’ve never seen a more perfect casting on Star Plus in the past few years. No one else, and I mean it, no other actress on ITV rn can play Jahnvi Mittal, cuz no one has the calibre of micro-expressions that Shrenu does. 💜

But I’m ready for the open fight. Zain was so good this week, this show finally giving him what he’s capable of. Bring it on!