#and a lot of it tbh is on how you improve and see things (???) idk but damn i'm just rlly proud of myself

[lemongogo]

j need to get back into life drawing post haste

[astrxealis]

my favorite teacher plays dnd and bg3 do you know how crazy that is to me

[vaguelyhauntedcornfield]

Okay but like I really need to rant about this a bit so like spoilers for ep 3 of tlou below but like

idk I’ve never played the game so I had no idea what to expect going into this, but when Frank showed up, I was like “I can’t tell if Bill is going to kill him or marry him.” WELL. Nick Offerman did such a GOOD job of looking on guard and uncomfortable. His shoulders are like up to his ears the entire meeting sequence and it made me so jumpy, and then we skip 3 years and he’s so visibly relaxed. And my heart started to melt. And I found myself so enamored with these two men who, against all odds, found love in a situation where that should have been impossible. Frank was the last alive from a group fleeing a collapsed quarantine zone, Bill a preper who had decided to be alone long before the pandemic even started. We expect Bill to die the whole time--comments about him getting old faster than Frank, getting shot by raiders. The jump to Frank being sick...they showed so much through his paintings. You weren’t expecting it, and they showed you through his art how his illness has been progressing, and how him being able to see that himself affected him. They showed how Bill broke down and made a deal with Joel to get medicine despite saying he never would. This show. THIS SHOW. I was sobbing up until Bill became weirdly calm during the dinner, because I realized he’d made the decision too. They died on their own terms in a world where that had become nearly impossible. They had a beautiful life together in a world where that had become a pipe dream. Two characters that we never even meet thru the main characters, not in the present day, but who matter so much.

[newvegascowboy]

Thank you all so much for the kind words! I appreciate it a lot!

july 5th, 2021 vs july 24th, 2023

bit of an Artist Evolution, but also character evolution. two years of drawing Red! the roots are the same, even if the details have changed.

2 years ago, i was extremely new to digital art and was kind of fumbling my way through photoshop, trying to figure things out as i went. that didnt exactly change, i just got a lot better at fumbling.

then i lost photoshop, had a meltdown, and got CSP. lather, rinse, repeat.

im getting more comfortable working outside my comfort zone. or i guess, expanding that comfort zone. there's still a lot i dont like about my art - and a lot i feel i need to improve on, but i think im getting there, however slowly. im learning and figuring things out, though that never really stops. i look forward to seeing where im at in another two years.

thanks yall for sticking around!

[courtmartialme]

Hey! Sorry in advance if this is word vomit-y and a mess im literally crying rn lol

Ok so i found u for ur trans riza art and at first i was like yo cool explicitly trans art! Then i went thru ur blog and found there was so much here and it made me so fucking happy. Like we (trans mascs) domt get as much representation so its really meaningful when u find it in the wild but then when its genuinely good A+ quality content too and theres just so much of it? Words cant describe how fucking happy and seen i felt.

Ive been following u for a while now and just like. Youre so inspiring to me? Like your art is goals its so fucking good, when i see your art it makes me want to draw and improve my own art. Your brainrot and like willingness to do your own thing in regards to trans riza and ur AU art is also just so inspiring to me. And like as a trans masc creator i guess its so inspiring to see you succeed if that makes sense.

As to why im crying rn, i just found ur trans riza comic and its Unlocking things in me its making me cry so hard rn dhddhddnbdjdbdfbnffb like it just makes me feel sm hope for my own future? And idk its just really nice to see such good content and representation that really understands and gets the "trans experience" if that makes sense. So like yeah dhdjdjf just thank you so much for being so inspiring to me and (others bc im sure its not just me that feels like this) and for sharing your art!

that's a very sweet message thank you !!! i'm glad my trans riza art resonates with you ^_^

though anon, i don't think we are "under represented" at all. maybe in big media? sure, idk, i don't pay attention tbh. but anon there are a lot of transmasc artists making transmasc art out there you just have to pay attention :] and i think this kind of art is better appreciated when you stop using words such as "content" and "representation" to describe art made by artists in the wild and save it for big tv shows lol. ofc i get the trans experience, i'm trans. but maybe my trans experience isn't the same as yours. who gets to decide if something so personal is bad or good content? or representation? i think by applying those standards you're only limiting yourself and others

of course, i know you only meant well with your message! but i took the opportunity to ramble about something i think about a lot <3 i'm honored you find my art inspiring bc i honestly mostly draw whatever i feel like drawing lol even though trans riza au isn't very deep or personal or anything, it's important to me so i draw it. i hope all of us can forever create more art about our experiences without worrying if it's good representation or whatnot because that's a silly word to describe the feelings of real people :]

[lakesparkles]

MORE MR PEANUTBUTTER!! Can you tell I like him?? The worst part is that it's all very new art, I drew all of this in... 3 days? Idk

So, this one is very self indulgent. I wanted to explore his relationships with some characters in my AU (the one he dates both Diane and Guy, it all happens after the finale of the show). One of the reasons I love creating this AU (I even just finished writing a fanfic about it!!) is so I can develop PB more.

If you want an explanation about his relationships, it'll be under the cut!

Bojack: they spend way more time together now that they live together in California - PB has two houses, so he travels there to Houston all the time. His relationship with Bojack… Is improving, just like showed in the doodles. Some people even mistake them as a old married couple, but nah, they didn't even kiss once. Maybe once. Bojack doesn't want to talk about it. One day, years later, Mr Peanutbutter will make peace with his own sexuality, look back and realize that things make way more sense now.

Guy: talking about his sexuality, Guy plays a big role on it. I created a whole backstory for him, but it's a story for another day. He's way more comfortable about being bi than PB is - who is now having a lot of questions: "what if he's wrong about it?"; "what if he's too old for that?"; "what if all media reacts very badly about it?" It's a little easier when he's not alone. Their personalities go very well together and, other than that, PB is having the time of his life having a husband now <3 Guy usually calls him "dog" and PB isn't sure if he thinks it's cute or the opposite.

Pickles: I have a lot of thoughts about Pickles tbh. Some of her scenes made me think that she seemed so lonely. Years after dating and breaking up with PB, she realized that their relationship… Was kinda messed up, yes. But she was never angry, even being happy seeing how different his life is right now. When she meets PB again and finds out that, not only he felt guilty during all the time they dated, but also *still feels that way*, she thinks it's a little funny. She has a good life now, he didn't ruin anyone like he thought he did. They end up in good terms and message each other often enough.

Diane: PB calls her his "ex ex wife"! Coming back together has been a nostalgia trip for them and this comes with a bunch of complicated feelings. What makes all different is exactly what Diane herself said in the show: "if they met as the people they are now, things would be totally different". And they surely are different now, even more after spending so many years apart. But different doesn't mean perfect, this they would never be. They still have a couple of fights out of nowhere that Guy is confused about. What changes is that it's, in fact, better. And now they have hope. And they're enjoying finding out once again why they were in love in the first place. It's such an old feeling that they were tricked into believing it's new~

[tiddiesoutwhenthetisout]

Do you have a headcanon that you like so much that you practically automatically include it when you think of the character the headcanon is about?

i will try to list a few, as i remember best when i trigger an associated memory (i think-- i'd like to think my memory still works 🤣).

tbh i held off on answering this since i can't think of a good hc from the top of my head hahaha

it's not going to be substantiated by historical texts or information since i have very limited knowledge in those areas. these are silly little hcs i inferenced from the most random places.

Patroclus:

- he has very nice names for his dogs. he thinks of each one very well as he walks back to camp after rescuing the animal from destruction. he constantly thinks about it, and of course they have meanings, but i'm unfortunately not greek so i can't dive deeper into that :') something like "child of vast plains" (one word) as in free. like his wishes for each dog. "never suffering a lack of", such and such. depending on his observations of each dog's personality.

- tired dad but also playful piece of shit uncle vibes.

- i like to think he genuinely enjoys the adrenaline of high stakes (gambling- which totally started as a joke because i saw a post saying he 'killed a boy over dice #gamblingaddiction') but doesn't participate much when the soldiers play because he has his dutiful side lol. when he decides to come out and participate, he keeps winning.

- voice smooth as honey and chocolate but he's a little tone deaf.

※ also, grey eyes patroclus truther over here. and that he probably got his medical talents from his mother, whoever it was.

Achilles:

- stays in his tent most of the time. the longer the war went on, the more he closed himself off, save for a few of his own men and his close friends (patroclus, antilochus, automedon, ajax, teucer...) he does get out for celebrations but he tends to get sick of merrymaking easier than others so he retires early. would complain to patroclus about several things in his day as they tend to their body pains and weapons/armor maintenance. this says a lot about my general impression of his personality. i don't need to spell out that i think he's dramatic lol

- has a green right eye and a deep black left iris (from thetis). i made this on accident with a sketch but i really like the idea of him being *slightly* unsettling when they see him the first time instead of a flawless blonde child. sure he still is, but i'd like in-universe characters to have more of a reason to not approach him. and well... pay thetis a little bit of tribute hahaha. i deleted other appearance hcs for him and patroclus, realizing i can just add those when i post my wip character design sheets. but here's a zoomed shot of his face as a 12 year old:

- likes theater. would have tried for it himself if he didn't have to be a warrior. has made several songs throughout his life especially in childhood but has never documented them. forgets them in the morning.

Odysseus:

- nearsighted. idk if there's anything to prove this otherwise, but i just slapped it on him. he doesn't recognize people super easily by their faces, but he goes by other things instead like height or voice, or their most prominent features. that's also how he hunts or kills. he doesn't really know this ofc, and has just been doing it his whole life. now he doesn't know his son's face very well, so i'd like to add this to the moral dilemma of throwing astyanax off the wall more than it already is.

- short king idk 5'1". 5'2" if he's wearing shoes hehe. has the same height with penelope. telemachus is 5'3" (without shoes). the genes are improving!

Menelaus:

- diomedes and odysseus second father figure. this probably has a lot of contradicting evidence, but let me sit with the funny image that it started as a joke at first then they found menelaus just has very basic dad instincts. has, on many nights, gotten drunk and cried about helen leaving him.

- has to watch his blood pressure (sorry).

Diomedes:

- values the concept of family higher than most. he doesn't spell it out in the open of course, but it's one of the things that sets him apart as well.

※ so i took a break, got curious about diomedes and looked up his future after troy. that hc does not bode well with his wife's status after his return 💀

Pyrrhus:

- has red hair (sometimes a "duh" moment for me considering his name is literally fire-haired/red-haired; I've seen blonde depictions of him).

- 5'6". slightly taller than average, but shorter than his father because his god blood is more diluted than.

- very cold and steadfast when he first showed up. i want to believe that he was not that all throughout. he learned to commune with other soldiers, although awkward and unsure. somehow, he became like another achilles; the youngest of the soldiers, the man who would spearhead the attack by proposing the idea of the trojan horse (i read somewhere it was him, and then some say odysseus, some say both). he would look quizzically at handshakes but would accept. he'd be so confused by whooping and hugging and cheering after battle, but didn't resist the warmth of it. he unfortunately didn't have time to explore that side of life before he died.

i think i'll end it there 🤣 i'm not that well-acquainted with other characters, but you yourself wrote about automedon and balius and xanthus being tamed by patroclus, so i also believe that now actually.

[lazymonth]

Neg-rant ( wow, two Neg-rant in a row. What’s wrong with me, I’m just woke up tbh ) ⚠️

Come one, Month. Don’t be such a loser and stop feeling super guilty on realize that you’re being jealous on someone that having a lower follower than you, and not jealous of other people like you who literally having over 700 followers in 3 years ( I guess ). That’ll make you look like a sucker that only cares about fame and how much attention you get in each post, which it’s not. And I scare of being seen like that too, because I don’t want people to think I’m some kind of mean person who’s only care about themselves -

Wall of text :

It’s just… Tumblr is my passion that I’m doing it for fun, even posting something for that one specifically person to see. But in the same time I’m just checking the tumblr every 5 seconds, wondering it’s getting any more notice or not. Which it’s starting to making me feel guilty about being like this, when there’s literally someone out there being like,, idk, Don’t care about how much notice they get, they’re just happy to seeing someone found they post <33. And that’s making feel guilty about lot.. Don’t get me wrong, I’m also happy to get note by people too, and feeling so thankful for every support I get.

I’m not usually being jealous of other artists. Like those artists with over 1,000 followers, or someone that’s crazy good at art. I’m just “ yeah! Amazing art! Good for them! They deserve it!!<33 ” and very enjoyed their art and trying to improve myself. But when coming to someone that very close to me, or having a level skill of art closer to me, even though they didn’t get a much notice of follow as me. I’m still feeling jealous of them, because I was always being like “ God, why I can’t never think of that ” every time they posted some super creative thing. It might get less notice, but it’s so fucking creative and interesting! Which it’s something I probably can’t coming up by myself when comes in to the story telling stuff.

…I just feeling so guilty and scared rn that people I’ll seeing me like a some kind of big company thing that only cares about what they can get. Meanwhile, I’m still seeing myself like a indie game dev that’s still underrated.. and I’m very happy to seeing people supporting my art and stuff. I’m always looking up to other people and always appreciate their hard work.

I don’t know now how many times I said the word “ guilty ”, but it’s the truth. I’m feeling so bad at my bad behavior of being jealous of my literally friends now, and keeping pushing myself to do something to being the same level as them.

To my friends, I’m so sorry of all of this by the way. You’re doing nothing wrong. It’s just me being a jealous bitch, and I’ll trying my best to be better.

Or maybe y I’m love Turbo so damn much, I start to adopt his personality, and becoming a jealous bitch like him- /j

[beesmygod]

If you want a genuine critique, I think your grasp on anatomy is still wonky and part of the reason may be because you kind of go out of your way to avoid panels with full body shots. Your most recent pages are genuinely creative and have a fun composition, but it’s kinda hard not to notice that a lot of them framed around just seeing the upper torso of a character. Its kinda like how artists would just cover up feet with mysterious smoke or debris to avoid drawing them

this response is so long but only bc i agree with this a lot. human anatomy has always been a huge struggle. don't worry, i have eyes and can see how bad it is most of the time. i have one thing to say in my defense: sometimes i have really scenes in my head i would like to execute, but my artistic skill levels are not there. which means i have to make a decision on how to re-frame or execute the panel before my deadline hits. this sometimes means taking the shortest path from a-b if i've already wasted too much time trying to make this work. i've been trying to record these failed attempts more on patreon just bc. idk they're confessional and might be helpful for people to see how much behind the scenes hemming and hawwing there is before the page finally gets made.

last year this problem was especially bad too; when i was really sick i was drawing soooooooooo many "talking heads" pages (this is what i've always thought of them as lol) because they were easier to do (obviously) and it was so bad and i knew it lol. it was making me miserable to the sole responsible party for churning out really really bad low-energy/effort pages and, at the time, not really having an excuse for it.

i tend to direct my art improvement energy on one specific thing at a time, for a while it was making a point to incorporate more backgrounds or foregrounds into pages, then for a while it was getting WAY less shitty at speech bubbles/paneling (still struggling with panels tbh). maybe now that im feeling better i can try to focus harder on anatomy. ty for giving me a direction to head in!!

[alexalblondo]

look as a mick fan i fully understand being delusional about blond flops (i've been there!) but i honestly feel so confused whenever i see people talking about james vowles like he's guenther steiner 2.0 for what's going on with logan...

don't get me wrong i feel bad for logan and wish the best for him! the whole giving up the car thing wasn't great and it must feel shitty to hear your boss talking so highly about someone that'll be replacing you...but otherwise what the actual fuck are people talking about??? help a girl out please! i genuinely want to understand!

and let me acknowledge here that there were definitely people talking about mick like this in 2022 but tbh i blocked a lot of them because they were being A LOT even for me...

I think it’s a mix of two things cause especially last season and especially Logan fans as far as I saw used to idolize James? Especially after that one race where James told Logan he can retire the car and everything he said about how Logan was put into F1 prematurely and it was on the team to develop him as a driver cause he’s a rookie and just in general seeming approachable and talking so nice about his drivers and focusing on how the team needed to fix the car for them and people acted like he was perfect and had never done anything wrong ever and so one

… and then the chassis thing happened which is both reason 2 he’s so hated by Logan fans cause a lot of people became Logan fans cause of thet and what reversed reason 1 cause Idk this fandom has always been very black and white and he’s clearly the devil now cause Logan should have raced and also he broke Logan with this

Basically if we’re honest when it comes to racing Logan hasn’t improved as much as he should have and now the writing is on the wall and people are looking for someone to blame

(Like I’m not blaming anyone and we all need someone to blame and he’s great there)

[ladytauria]

okay angsty ask time-

hmmhmh ghost jay tim death hmhmh cooking

okay so basically body swap for Tim and Jason but Jason is still dead and a ghost (ohh but in league Jay would be interesting too) and Tim is Robin

so Tim just fucking dies?? and you get a Ghost Robin posessing a living body again

or like not body switch but position switch so Ghost Jason becomes visible and tim just-

<3

hehehe this is also really messy lmao sorry

hmmm i like the idea of jason winding up with control of tim’s body & tim being a ghost the most of these options lmao, but they’re all intriguing

Hmmm. Thinking… I don’t want Jason to have been a silent observer? Like. I *don’t* want him to have been a ghost & haunting the Manor/trailing after any of the bats. He was enjoying his afterlife before \*hand waves* knocked him into Tim’s body.

Rather than being transported into Jason’s body (dead) or to Jason’s afterlife (though Tim busting out of the afterlife could be potentially amusing) though, Tim ends up wandering around as a ghost, and due to… idk, the tether he still has to his body? Their new link? Jason is the only one who can see him <3

Not sure if Jason and Tim don’t tell Bruce because they don’t wanna get his hopes up or because they can’t or for other reasons, but. I think I want it to stay between the two of them as much as possible.

I want to be fairly easy for them to fool Bruce as well. I’m not sure if I want him to be neutral, more pleased by “Tim’s” behavior, or disappointed by it tho 🤔 Dick is less easy to fool but mostly in Bludhaven so they can avoid him. Steph is also harder to fool and man Jason is NOT about keeping Steph out of the know or like. Most of the decisions involving Steph.

I think it would be Too Much to also involve Young Justice/the Titans but ALSO I do think that would be fun. Maybe in a different idea.

Anyway. I actually don’t *really* wanna focus on Tim’s interpersonal relationships that much except maybe as a side thing—despite how fun Jason-Steph interactions would be. I think I want to focus more on… I guess the bitterness of Jason finding himself alive again. Going to school, hanging out with Tim’s civilian friends, going out as Robin again. Seeing how much freedom Tim has as Robin and actually getting to (sort of) run his own cases. (Not really though, because Tim is there & definitely giving his input / bossing him around before they learn to cooperate.)

Lots of friction at first I think. Like as much as I want them to get along I feel like it would be rough. Maybe things could look optimistic at first, before Jason gets the opportunity to really process/confront his grief over dying. And then I do want there to both be feelings of inadequacy for Tim being a “better” Robin but ALSO I want Jason to find him lackluster in areas—and Bruce as Batman now lackluster in places!

And I want Tim’s feelings to be complicated too. He had his own preconceived ideas as to what Jason would be like based on things Alfred, Dick, & Bruce have said, or implied, or spoken around, and based on Jason’s old case files he read. Getting to know Jason the person is different and it’s exciting at first, until the grief starts hitting Jason & he becomes more sullen / grumpy.

I also want the details of Jason’s death to have been somewhat mysterious to Tim, which I think is canon tbh, but I want Jason to end up clearing them up, whether because Tim asked, or said something insensitive, or because Jason just burst out about it.

I want the Joker to come up. Maybe he busts out or Batman deals with him or maybe Tim & Jason end up having to deal with him? That would probs be too much. That could be the catalyst for. A *bunch* of stuff.

Hmm… I *do* want things to start to improve by the end. They’re working together better, Jason is processing, they’re starting to consider more seriously where to go from here. I want Tim to be considering smth noble and self sacrificing like letting Jason have his body permanently. (I do think he’s more optimistic than that; I think he’s going to try & make plans to bring Jason back so that BOTH of them can live? BUT I think he’s keeping ‘let Jason become Tim Drake’ as a solid back up plan.)

ANYWAY. Just as things are starting to look somewhat up—they don’t have a solution but they’re doing better and are more hopeful about the future—something happens. Maybe Superboy Prime’s Punch, or maybe that’s what caused it and it’s Jason’s body getting dunked in the Lazarus Pit that pulls his ghost back to himself. Either way <3 They’re now separated

And. Hm. I kind of want to go angsty and not have Jason remember anything <3 Maybe he can get his memories back later, but otherwise… Lost Days & UTRH proceed as in canon~

[ send me an au and i’ll give you at least 5 things i would include in it ]

[annakie]

FIXING THE HOUSE: PART TWELVE - We Can Make It on the Outside

Part One: I Do Not, In Fact, Have the Power

Part Two: Let’s Spend Lots of Money!

Part Three: All These Things That I’ve Done

Part Four: I Really Want to Stay At My House

A little interlude.

Part Five: Power Down

Part Six: You Will Leave Some Paint

Part Seven: Backwards to go Forwards

Part Eight: Master of Bathrooms

Part Nine: Within a Room, Somewhere

Part Ten: Rooms With No View

Part 11: Big Bang Room Part A and also Part B!

Hi, I know it's been like a week and a half but I was damn busy. I went to Minnesota and saw my buddies @ahab99 and @gloriousclio for a long weekend and it was fantastic! And then just generally busy since I got home, doing lots of projects for home and other personal life reasons. But there's still two posts to go after this one, so let's actually finish this!

Today we're going to talk about the garage and I think also just like, outside in general? And we'll leave the two biggest reveals for last.

Let's leave the living room and first head into the garage!

Look, the garage is not that exciting. The most exciting thing tbh was the fact that I got it like, halfway cleaned out back in July.

It's been too damn hot, YES EVEN IN OCTOBER to really finish the job after I, tbh, worked too hard on it in July, but I'm still glad I did that because of how bad it needed it, but we covered that already.

So I said this before but I made enough space to easily walk around, I put up some metal shelving for more storage/organization, and did some general tidying, so hey you can walk through it now.

There's a significant amount of stuff sitting in it that I'm waiting for a friend of mine to come get, idk when that's going to happen but I hope soon. Like a loveseat, a vacuum cleaner, a small desk etc. When those things are out, it'll be even better.

There's also several bags of clothes that need to go get donated and one bag of fandom-related shirts I was going to sell cheap here on tumblr maybe if I ever get around to it.

So one big improvement was just the fact that the drywall was starting to get real iffy. Some of it was straight up threatening to fall down. So that's fixed. I do not care that the new drywall is blue. It's a garage, I'll deal with it later, maybe. Also hey, shelving! Still messier than I want it to be. At least all that crap isn't on the floor anymore.

Also, no pic for this but apparently one of the beams across the ceiling in the garage was either loose or had come completely off the joist, maybe during the re-roofing? Anyway, Arturo fixed that, too.

So yeah, the workbench is still messy BUT.. remember way, WAY BACK in Part Two when I had no internet one night because the plug for this internet box was on the ceiling over my garage and it'd come loose, but I couldn't plug it back in because it was right over my car, which was blocked in by a dumpster?

Yeah, well, see, that won't be a problem again. Yay, I have power next to the workbench! A brand new outlet.

Crazy that there wasn't one there before. The only actual outlet nearby was against the back wall, pretty far away. And that outlet was SCARY. Very loose, felt really unsafe. It's been rewired and looks good now, too.

The most noticable improvement was this...

OK, see? Still TUFF there. It's actually a little better now. BUT... the windows! You can see through them! They don't have paint smeared on them! None of them have been shot through with a BB gun!

Look I love the kids who live across the street (and there are ALWAYS kids in that house, the kids who were kids when I moved in 21 years ago now have their own children, and there are always other kids there.) But occasionally they cause mischief and at SOME point someone shot a BB through my window and also into the siding a bit. I don't have any proof who did it or honestly exactly when, so I never confronted them, but it irked me for the last 2 or 3 years when it was there.

They were also just original to the house, and needed replacing. So now they've been replaced and look nice!

OK, enough of the dirty, stinky garage, at least until it gets actually cleaned out more.

-----

THE FRONT EXTERIOR!

The picture at the top of this post was the last picture I had from "Before" and that was taken day one of roof work back in late June or early July. The old roof, old gutters, old windows... etc. Just old and tired looking. You can see huge cracks in the driveway.

TBH it was starting to just look run down. Other problems were like, the garage door needed painting, honestly everything except the poles needed painting and that's only because they'd gotten so bad a couple of years ago that I had asked my lawn guy do it.

Obviously most of the things that improved the interior along that wall improved the exterior, like the windows and door.

All of the black trim along the fake shutters and next to the door got a fresh coat of black paint. The windows got touched up. I thought about replacing the light fixture but it's only like 10 years old so I didn't.

TBH the brick and cement could use a power wash, I need to talk to my neighbor's son about that since he does power washing. The new door especially looks so pretty. It also needed to be swept in that pic, it has since been, and the bushes trimmed.

My neighbor Veronica keeps reminding me that the bushes out front are too high, and she's right. I talked to my lawn guy about it and we decided to cut them way down in the spring when they'll start to grow back again.

Another improvement outside is security. I have a door lock camera, another camera you can't see in these pictures covering the front porch. There's a motion sensor spotlight camera over the driveway. And more stuff you'll see.

See? Camera.

New windows! Painted garage door!

The plan had been originally to power wash the driveway here. But there were those two HUGE cracks that were a problem. We filled them in with caulk(?) and cement but then you got... well, what's there. Also looked real bad.

Arturo ended up with a couple of extra bags of cement from another project. So he ended up putting a new entire layer of cement over the driveway.

He said it won't last forever, probably in the next couple of years we'll need to do a new driveway in order for it to look good, but by the time we got to this, the money was really starting to run dry.

So here's the front of the house now! It's so much better! Still has a little ways to go, but definitely not in the running for the shame of the block anymore.

Couple of other small things happened, including me washing the glass in my little lamppost, and spending $34 on ONE replacement pane that had broken long ago but it now looks fresh and whole.

There's also now a little sign you can kind of see on the door in a pleasant script that says "NO SOLICITING! Family, friends and Neighbors welcome!" I'm not sure if it's actually working or if people are just skipping my house now that it's clear I DON'T need new windows, but I haven't had any randos knock in a month or two since it went up.

---

Had Arturo make a small improvement to my gates -- there were just BIG gaps between the doors and the walls. Like you could pretty easily see my entire backyard if you wanted to peek in at either door.

So he bought and installed a border around both doors of the same cedar wood, and I had saved a quarter bucket of the stain from Joel so it got painted. I also put locks on the gates because the locks the gates came with seemed pretty easy to open from the outside with like, a coat hanger. Now... not possible.

The sidewalk is swept and most of that junk is gone now, though I'm still waiting on my friend to come get the extra granite that he requested Arturo bring for him. STOP CLUTTERING UP MY HOUSE!! :D

But tbh, I don't have the funds and haven't had the time to pretty up the sides of the yard yet.

BUT... big improvements have been made on the patio!

---

You may recall that the patio was in various states of looking pretty much like this all summer.

Eventually, as we finished up projects, the patio started getting a little cleaner and a little cleaner, combined with Monday or Tuesday Morning cleanups.

Hey, an empty, but ugly, patio floor! You may recall the patio ceiling got painted and the ceiling fan went up very early.

What's this? It's just ONE color instead of three or four worn through colors? I love it!! A nice green, which, again, was a darker shade on the same card as the ceiling color. I'm probably going to need to do yearly touchups but I have the can of paint for that for at least the next year or so. Believe it or not, these are not the same greens as in the dining room, nor the master bath, or the k-- wait we'll get to that. Just a lot of shades of green in the house, all different!

The patio furniture I think I mentioned at some other point got painted from stained red to the same color as the patio ceiling. I bought new grey cushions that look fantastic with them.

I also had taken the rug that had been under my computer desk the last couple of years and washed it off in the backyard, let it dry, then rolled it up and put it in the corner of the patio and forgot about it for a month or two.

When I was finishing the final cleanout of the patio for the painting I had an idea of what to do with it!

I also, back when all this started, had bought an adirondack chair. I wanted a nice lounger to relax on in my backyard, even though I had four perfectly good matching chairs already. But I wanted to lounge. I bought it in like... June, I think? The box arrived, I dragged it to the patio and it basically became a table for two months.

Just this last week I finally unboxed it, and spent three hours putting it together. I do love it!

The rug really adds a bit of homey-ness to the patio I think. It'll probably be need to tossed in a couple of years, but for now, I really like the look.

Hey, you can also see the new bathroom window from the outside here!

I really think the patio came together well. There's an element or two still missing.

And also... what's this?

I bought a house for my feral boys Buster and Peter for the winter! I really wanted them to have somewhere protected from the elements for those long week or three where it's actually cold in Dallas in the winter. I also wanted something that looked cute and gave them both their own space.

Still working on getting them to understand that it's for them, but Peter has at least checked it out!

Buster is under a chair over there being unimpressed. But also it's still in the 60's or 70's at night so they haven't needed it yet. I'm sprinkling food and treats in and on it to get them to try to investigate at least. There are warm beds on both the top and bottom levels for them. And you can see they also have beds in the chairs/floor where I see them sleeping.

They get oral flea medication every month or so btw.

The backyard is covered with cameras covering every inch. Nice cameras that solar recharge and are in high resolution. Every entrance of the house has at least two angles on it now. I'm really happy with that setup. Plus of course monitored alarm system.

There's no perfect home security, but I feel like I've made my house an unattractive target, at least. There are also generic signs posted about the video/alarm surveillance.

ANWYAY...

Fry and Pemily have also been enjoying supervised visits outside!

Fry loves dirt. Pemily loves just chilling out. I love hanging out out there after work and chilling with them. I do want to get a little side table for the lounger, but in due time. And YES I WEAR CROCS AROUND THE HOUSE. They're comfortable, ok? :D

Still gotta get the generator hooked up, and at some point actually finish beatifying the outside, but that's gonna take more money han I have left over now. I'll keep working on it, but also right now I'm letting myself just enjoy it.

OK! Back inside next time for the last two updates!

[justanotherpersonsuniverse]

Part One

Hey Cap!!

I hope your doing well <3

Sorry this took so long! Due to how long PN is there’s a chance I won’t go as in depth with each chapter as usual, there is, however, every chance I’ll ignore that and go crazy. We shall see what happens! (spoiler, i ignored it0

Chapters covered: Origins (1), and Origins (2)

Questions are numbered and in bold. 

Onto the insanity! 

[— — —]

It’s always very nostalgic to go back to the start :3 

You’ve obviously improved leaps and bounds in writing so it is in a noticeably different style at the start but it’s still fantastic. 

The first line just highlights that this won’t be the usual story falling into tropes and using cliches as a crutch for everything. I think it’s fantastic. I’m not sure whether it was intentional, but the fact that it focuses on the mundane and says “But this wasn’t the story she’d chosen to be in. This was simply one she was a part of.” is just- perfect. 

For Juleka and the story you tell as a whole. Like, yes, the superhero and magical aspect is essential for the framework of the story, but unlike usual it is not glorified or the most important thing to Juleka. 

Idk man I just love it :)) Especially because Juleka already sidelines herself in her own story. I love the way that she isn’t aware that she is the main character in like her own life? She idolises ladybug and believes she blends into the background and just- she doesn’t believe she is a focal point for anyone. Until she gets to be Panthera of course. 

Don’t worry, I’ll go into her relationship with her own identity, i just think I should move onto actually commenting on the current story rather than rambling on :3

I do like how Luka and Anarka are mentioned immediately, it excellently shows how she lives and who’s important to her in a natural way. 

I think the only other long haul fic I’ve read (not written by you, Cap) which focussed on Juleka was Powers of Invisibility by yestomiraculous, and as much as I adore it even that sometimes felt like it was more a vehicle to talk about other characters? 

Question 1: I’ve kinda just assumed you’ve read Powers of Invisibility, but I’m curious if you actually have? The way you write Juleka is very fun, but I’m curious if you have any fics you’ve pulled inspiration from for that too )

Whether it was a symptom of Juleka at heart being someone who observes rather than interjects or because that was the intention I don’t know. What I’m getting at is that I think you balance Juleka’s character really bloody well in this. Yes, she constantly feels invisible and is critical of herself and is observant, but she also has her own stuff going on? 

Whenever it does feel like Juleka is just floating, observing other people feels very intentional, like in princess prom when she just watches Adam dance with Rose. Sorry I will go on a lot of tangents in this i have so many thoughts on Panthera, ranging from the intricacies to the plot at large. 

Oh I love that we see Marinette and Fu nearly getting run over from Juleka’s perspective, the way that her guilt about freezing up and not helping pushes her later? Amazing. Plus, how much her internal monologue over analyses things and assumes the worst is so much fun. 

AAAA YOU BASTARD. Sorry, what I meant to say was; Of course you managed to have Juleka put Marinette on a pedestal in the first chapter. “Juleka could only see Marinette as incredible brave, a hero.” toxic yuri ladynoire is one of my favourite things about this fic, but I never realised you’d established it right at the start!! 

Of course she immediately turned to criticising herself Juleka girly please. There is this thing called the bystander effect I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of it-

The way that she has unrealistic expectations of perfection for herself while simultaneously believing she is not worthy of so much… we love a contradictory character. 

Fits for a cat tbh, they’re contrarian. Everyone (minus Adama (and Roger) think Juleka is like so nice and lovely and yet-

I need to stop going on a rant or i’ll never finish this. 

Help not the way Juleka was all doom and gloom but as soon as she spoke to Rose she was like “oh hey maybe today won’t suck” 

Love the little POV change to briefly show why Adrien doesn’t choose to help Fu, I’ve always liked that. Even though it’s simple it’s better than leaving us to wonder what changed. 

Adore that the main thing she mentions about Adrien is a) he’s shorter than expected, and b) she admires him because she also wants to be a model. 

Not the way you contrasted Adrien and Juleka here, Adrien quickly forgot about Fu being collapsed on the pavement but Juleka is being consumed by it. 

Tidbit of Chloe being a better person in this story, I do like that Juleka acknowledges what she’s seeing (Chloe being nervously protective of Adrien) and then dismisses it to fit the narrative of what she knows.

Here he is! Stoneheart! I do like how Juleka obviously does think it’s a little bit cool but is also in a right panic about everyone being safe. 

Question 2: Does Luka go to school? Like. i don’t think he does in the show it’s a bit unclear, it doesn’t matter anyway. I'm curious about what his deal is in Panthera.

Yippee!! Juleka saves Fu!! And will becoming irrevocably traumatised due to this!!

Question 3: If this isn’t too spoilery, what is Fu’s method for choosing miraculous holders? Is it literally just playing the good samaritan story from the bible or is there more behind the scenes for who he targets? (and why is it always a teenager??) 

I can’t tell if Fu actually didn’t notice Juleka not helping before or if he just says that to make her feel better. However, Juleka apologising to a stranger because she feels it’s morally wrong not to even though she struggled to speak to a long time classmate? Love it. 

I LOVE ANARKA MY SILLY. I READ OUT HER LINES ALOUD YIPPEE

Question 4: Do you remember why you chose to give Anarka a scottish accent? If so, what where your reasons and was it this was from the start?

First; cute that Juleka and Rose texted to check on each other (and that she’s Rose <3 in her contacts), second; Rose you neek why are you stuttering over text. I can’t remember if we ever get shown what Rose has Juleka as in her contacts but i’m sure it’s something sickeningly sweet. 

Juleka would chicken out about sending a heart. Tbh i find that so funny cause I do the same thing about crushes but to my friends I send <3 and call them silly names all the time it’s prolly more noticeable not to lmao

Plagg!! Stinky cheese cat!! He’s such a good character in this fr, he’s a good balance of a menace while also acting as a wonderful friend, confidant, and guiding figure for Juleka

Plagg is so overwhelming for realsies, you can’t just drop that you had blackbeard as a pirate. He’s such an interesting person in history but now all I can imagine is a pirate hat with cat ears while his suit makes it look like his beards on fire. Kinda want to see that design now… that’d go hard. 

Tbh if i was told by some alien looking cat that i was about to be a superhero i’d freak out too, there are so many unknown variables fr

THIS IS SO MUCH PRESSURE TO PUT ON A SIXTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL. WHY AREN’T ADULTS DOING THIS. 

Juleka and her saviours complex are great and all but the poor thing doesn’t need all that. 

The fact that she continues just to everyone and her brother but not because she wants this… i do love that that’s a consistent thing for her characterisation you usually see the hero character wanting to do it for them instead of solely focussing on the safety of others? Idk i’m explaining this badly but I like her motivations fr

I’ll forever be mad about the unbalanced abilities in miraculous, i’m so glad you gave the black cat another ability to at least match the amount given to the ladybug but it’s just such a frustrating part of the show. 

WHOOO FIRST APPEARANCE OF PANTHERA

The masking and inferiority complex towards herself go crazy fr. Ah, ye old Panthera design I thank it for its service of inspiring this whole fic but I will always love your new designs for any and all miraculous heroes Cap they go so hard. 

No way she calls Ladybug familiar- 

Question 5: How does the glamour situation work over in PN? Like, we see Juleka break through it to figure out Marinette, but we are also currently watching her fight with it about knowing who Rena Rouge is. If it’s not in spoiler territory I’d love to know some of the inner workings :3 

Love how self conscious Marinette is at first and how Juleka is the one directing the conversation (and the way she is freaking out about doing it she’s so real). The dichotomy of how they both see each other as the collected trustworthy superhero while never mentioning it goes crazy. 

I believe you write from Marinette’s POv a couple times but i’m not sure, the fact that she sees Panthera as the put together one goes crazy 

The way that Juleka calls Ladybug partner throughout the story… it’s perfect i love it. And that Marinette calls her kitty, oh oh!! New question. 

Question 6: Ladynoire obviously does not happen in this, but both in universe it has been hinted at (the date and Marinette saying “we just speedran dating” that line lives in my head rent free) and in asks you’ve said the story could have gone that way. What I’m getting at is; did Marinette ever have a crush on Panthera (knowingly or not) and would you be willing to briefly get into that here? 

I will always go crazy over Juleka being the bouncy enthusiastic one when transformed, you’ve said it was originally a joke and then you realised how sad it could get and I’m SO glad you went the sad route. Lighthearted ladynoire vibes in the season one rewrite will always be so cute to read back though

The way Juleka keeps freaking out internally over athletic feats is so good, i love this aspect we get in writing which you can’t really get in tv shows without a super imposed internal monologue which feels unnatural most of the time.

RAAA THE WAY YOU EMPHASISE THAT BOTH SUPERHEROS ARE ESSENTIAL IN THE FIRST FIGHT IS SO GOOD

Juleka freaking out about hissing and being smarmy and all that is so much fun to read. 

Juleka saying “We’re fucked” after seeing the scuba suit is iconic. She has literally zero faith at the start-

No!!! I get so sad when Juleka spirals while Ladybug is getting questioned by Alya about everything. So glad you made her also ask Juleka questions fr.

YOO?? I was going to bring up how she hadn’t referred to herself as Panthera once during this but she did at the end there after she had been validated by an outside source (alya being curious). Obviously she refers to Panthera as a separate entity even in her head later on, which makes me crazy but we’ll get there when we get there but I’ll totally pay attention to whether she’s calling herself Juleka or Panthera and in what situation she’s doing that in. 

It’s a small detail but i’ve found those fun to play around with in writing. 

HEY HANG ON HEYHEYEHYE

NO YOU DIDN’T OMG

Ok so i never registered that you wrote “This wasn’t just superheroes and villains. This was more, she could feel it. She could only ask. What’s going on…” and like?? This is such a huge thing Juleka focusses on in this? 

Like how she takes their work seriously in a different way to Marinette because she sees it as a genuine threat both during the akuma and out of it because of how emotions are targeted and how she resorts to simple violence whereas Marinette will use a complex plan. This is like tangentially related to how Marinette has her black and white thinking vibes (superheros and villains) while Juleka just sees people, people in different situations and how that changes her perception of their actions and-

Sorry i’m not sure if all this makes sense i just kinda went crazy. 

[— — —]

Second chapter!!

I do enjoy how Juleka almost told Ladybug to use the cure but social anxiety-d her way out of it. Hammering home her regret by giving Luka a hidden sprained leg is devious. I like him in this btw he’s just a silly guy who is essential to Juleka’s mental health and has his own stuff going on :3

Plagg not getting much Camembert in this is so tragic for him, the fact that he accepts string cheese from Juleka anyway just proves he’s a softie fr

I do love how we just get told in show that the Couffaines live on a boat and that Anarka acts like a pirate and we just. Get no further explanation. I like to think it’s something about dodging taxes

Plagg encouraging Juleka to be a model just so she can fund his fondness for Camembert- 

For some reason it’s that which made me think about how insane it would be for Juleka to balance a job on top of all this. Plus I feel like she’d totally end up with a Model Juleka mask too furthering her identity crisis stuff

I like how you had someone mention a family member being hospitalised by Stoneheart, sometimes it feels like the impact of being the first Akuma (and the only one which wasn’t cured) isn’t given enough attention. 

The fact that Ivan went to school the day after is insane fr but it needs to happen for the plot. 

People gotta be proper scared of him cause as far as they’re aware he is the villain.

Hey I’ve just realised that Juleka starts her whole “understanding the motivation for an Akuma can be the key to helping the person” thing right here when she goes up to talk to Ivan, that’s awesome I never made that connection before

Alya explaining that she just couldn’t think of a blog name including both of the heroes is a good detail, I know it was just a symptom of Ladybug being the protagonist in MLB but it was still a bit weird it was just called the ladyblog

I like that Chloe has a reason why she’s being a bitch; Stoneheart broke Roger’s arm so she’s getting back at him for that. Well, it doesn’t excuse how she approached it but a reason is better than an unprompted attack

Annnnd Panthera’s back woop!!

Hmm, you wrote “Juleka’s ears perked up as she heard Chloe’s shrill voice scream.” and it got me wondering;

Question 7: Do the miraculous give other abilities other than elevated strength, endurance, reflexes, and magical stuff? Like can Juleka hear stuff better when transformed? Or another example would be having better night vision? If so would these side effects continue into her untransformed self? As I know you’ve said her ‘claws’ and ‘slitted eyes’ and all that described when not transformed is actually just her being an unreliable narrator but side effects are always cool :3

Tbh the fact that an Akuma just multiplies when it’s not purified is insane like why the fuck does it do that? This isn’t an actual question, but it’s so crazy to me that if they missed literally any other Akuma they could’ve had like three million Dark Cupid’s running amuck.

Roger sucks man, why did he want to shoot at the Akuma holding a civilian??

Juleka not even registering how right after she’d ‘realised’ that she wasn’t cut out for hero work she reassured Ladybug for feeling the exact same way is so her. Like girl why are you allowed to have self doubt but no one else is??

Panthera’s speech about how they can do it… amazing moment. I’m sure Marinette was so very straight and normal about it whenever she thinks back to it. 

Ladybug this is a terrible plan. Her plans are always crazy. The fact that they work is even more crazy. I can’t wait to see whatever you replace Reflecta Two with and see Julekas lucky charm leading to incredible violence or a therapy session (there’s no in between) while Marinette just gapes in the background. 

“Another dream would be modeling.. But she could never do that.. If heroism was her path, she wouldn’t regret it.” JULEKA YOU ARE FALLING OFF THE EIFFEL TOWER GET IT TOGETHER 

And. hm. I don’t think Juleka ever regrets heroism but she definitely doesn’t like it much. The whole people being in danger and constantly having to fight and put herself in danger bit I mean, not the saving people bit.

Also i think this is a badass scene even though Juleka is ruminating as she falls from a great height lmao, the imagery of her diving after the Akuma and everything is so wonderful :3

Real of Ivan to question why they know his name. Marinette sucks at pretending she doesn’t know people fr

“I should keep the hair off my face.. Maybe I’ll be less recognizable.” Girl you're not Clark Kent the only reason no one knows is because of the glamour fr. but also. She kinda would be unrecognisable wouldn’t she.

Hang on. 

Question 8: So, before Juleka finds out Ladybug’s identity, it is hinted at that she will through multiple instances of her being “familiar” or knowing something she shouldn’t. Has Rose ever felt the same way about Panthera? As in; “She feels familiar, like I know her…” or is this spoilers? You know I’ll always be rabid for hints at a reveal between them, or anyone outside of Luka and Anarka finding out.

RAHHH JUST AS I SAY THAT JULEKA ASKS IF SHE SHOULD TELL ROSE AT SOME POINT I FORGOR THIS HAPPENED

YGBF4HNIRJECUDWOMSQIK

Sorry

Oh you’ll tell her when you defeat him will you?? Cap I won’t survive. I’ll simply be deceased. I must see the aftermath of the reveal. So much happened between Rose and Panthera and it reveals a whole side of Juleka she kept secret and-

There is simply too much opportunity to make it upsetting for you to pass up. Not that I think Rose would, idk, cast Juleka aside for her dishonesty or something equally dramatic, but the feelings!! They’ll be so big and she’ll have so many questions!!

Juleka is literally so loyal girl what “I trust ladybug” YOU JUST MET HER!! I love it but also girl! Trust yourself some more! Actually if she did at this point it’d feel out of character (i think her beef with master fu is one of the only examples her trusting her gut) 

Fr i can’t wait for Panthera to not defer to Ladybug or disagree in season 4 i’m actually going to go insane when that happens. In my live reaction to that chapter i’ll literally decompose or something.

I LOVE THE IMAGERY AT THE END. BTW. PUSHING HER HAIR BACK OVER HER EYES BECAUSE THAT’S NOT WHO SHE IS. IT MAKES ME CRAZY. 

[— — —]

P.S. I’ve been smiling the whole time reading this, just thinking about reading more and getting to my favourite moment’s is making me all giddy, thank you for sharing your stories Cap they’re fantastic and you’re incredible for writing them :3

P.P.S. For some reason this one is about 1.5 times the length of the last one?? idk why, new enemy; consistency.

YAHHH IM SO EXCITED TO GET YOUR REVIEWS OKAY QUESTION TIME

Question 1: Yes I have! There's scenes in Panthera that are like directly inspired by the fic, esp in chapter 1, but I've since edited these scenes to make them less like the scenes from Powers of Invisibility. Its such a good fic, and really got me into Juleka, and I re-read it often to kinda get into her vibe of as a person.

THE TOXIC LADYNOIRE YURI WASNT INTENTIONAL FROM THE START BUT MAN WAS IT ALWAYS DOOMED TO HAPPEN <3 its almost meta

Im glad you enjoyed Adrien! I always wanna make sure he's not forgotten. I want him to still be the guy who could've been Chat Noir yknow!

Question 2: When writing this my idea was that Luka was homeschooled because they couldn't afford sending them both to school, and he rather had Juleka go to school than him. But in one of the episodes it was implied he Did go to school just a different one. So, Im not sure anymore tbh

Question 3: He's running by good samaritan laws and also magical vibes. Sometimes souls are just a bit more attuned to magic. Also he chooses young people because while adults who pick up miraculouses will have an easier time from the start, children can adapt and grow even more powerful over the course of many years. This is morally pretty bad, but he was also chosen as a child so the trauma clouds his views a bit.

Question 4: Her english va speaks with a weird fucked up mix of a scottish and pirate accent in the show and I think theres a scottish flag on the Liberty!

Found it!

Juleka's decision to be a hero being stemmed entirely on the safety of her loved ones was always a key part of her I always found intentional. Despite her lack of self preservation in the thick of things, I imagine she just tries to avoid things from the start? This scene was edited a while back from Luka actually being seen injured by Juleka on tv to something more believable- which is the current version you most likely read.

Question 5: The Ladybug and Cat miraculous are always drawn to each other. I imagine throughout history, they were always forced to be enemies of some kind or as separate as possible due to how powerful this draw was. Juleka's also already very attached to Marinette, so it was a funky mix that kinda pushed that recognition. So while Juleka is close to Alya (somewhat) that's not enough to carry her past through that thick layer of glamour. (Doesn't help that Alya's got the illusion miraculous too!)

Also; I like to imagine that if Luka can magically hear what people's hearts sound like, Juleka has that but for her eyes. It's a, Hear no Evil, See no Evil thing- that I may explore later. Look man, Anarka's ancestors were probably on some shot.

Question 6: It's hard to put it but, it's less of a crush and more... these two are genuinely in love and I'm genuinely writing it that way. They just don't recognize it and it's muddled with a lot of other feelings so it's just never on their mind until it is and it gets very chaotic. Marinette has considered a crush on Panthera but she waves it off as crazy every time I think.

IM SO GLAD YOU READ INTO THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN JULEKA AND MARINETTE. It's so fun.

-

Chapter two! Absolutely its about dodging taxes. Fun fact; I've found that camembert is actually not that expensive. But I imagine the kind Plagg likes is.

Question 7: They do! Alya's glamour is stronger than average and she and Juleka have better night vision, a sense of hearing, and smell. Of course there's unreliable narrator stuff, but I do imagine Juleka's nails are much stronger now.

ALSO RIGHT RIGHT RIGHT?? ITS INSANE THAT THAT CAN JUST OCCUR. THE AKUMA MULTIPLICATION THING. THEY NEVER MENTION IT AGAIN ITS DRIVING ME FUCKING CRAZY.

Also for sure Juleka hates heroism. It's her new curse. But she's got a duty to fulfill with it. She treats it like an unpaid 9-5

Question 8: Absolutely has Rose felt those feelings! It probably fueled her crush on Panthera a lot! But the glamour worked just too perfectly on her, poor thing. Power of love ain't enough.

Im glad you enjoyed re-reading Panthera! It's the hardest thing to do for me lol but the idea that the start can still bring joy to people makes me really happy. Cheers!

[turian]

beloved gamer mutual & comrade @rhubarbspring tagged me to do a video game about me ( tysm for tagging !! truly loved reading all ur game thoughts. <3 ) explanations behind my choices under the cut.

(also, i had to cheat a little bit in the "you love, everyone hates" category, because i don't think people on tumblr hate da2, but one of my best friends despises it because of reused assets and combat designed more for consoles than pcs. and i can't remember any other controversial beloved games right now. the best i can do is games i love that i'm not sure anyone remembers? imagine ubisoft ballet? which, like. do people hate that. i don't think so).

tagging @cowsquirrel @malcriada @sakraya @ansburg @anoramactir + literally anyone i might have missed who wants to do this

favourite game of all time: so, look, i hate her as much as i love her. i always go back to new vegas even though i have a lot of criticisms of it - i had a realization recently after the release of the fallout show that while maybe i was projecting intergenerational trauma onto the game and using it to process some things, there is a lot in the game that is extremely imperialistic, even as it dabbles in anti imperialism. i can't get into all that here - better essays than i'm capable of have already been written on new vegas - but i also have to admit that new vegas taught me to see game writing differently, and helped me a great deal in improving my own writing. it's also just really entertaining playing later games by obsidian and picking out the new vegas elements. i think that new vegas gets praised too readily for being progressive when in reality it's only the most progressive game in the fallout franchise, and i think every time i return to it i'm noticing one more thing that'll kind of be making my eye twitch. but, yeah, i think it would also be dishonest to not include it here, regardless of my mixed feelings, because i keep going back, and because there are so many angles to it, and because i keep catching myself comparing other games to it.

i think a lot about like........... how so many themes i can relate to exist within the narrative of new vegas, but that doesn't feel entirely intentional. like, benny is so real to me because ! he was forced to assimilate into this culture that was not his to survive. and ulysses as well. and like!!!! yeah idk. going insane. i feel very similarly about dragon age elves tbh i'm like okay i feel seen but also this game is racist! kms :') will be projecting hard and taking so much psychic damage

many such cases tho </3 baldur's gate 3 and their treatment of the gur is always going to be a mix of relatable and uncomfortable to me

favourite series: soulsborne! i like how bleak it is, love the theme of death and rebirth, love how thankless the games can be, and i also love how the combat reminds me of muay thai. had a coach explain something to me using dark souls combat as an example once. i didn't really get these games at first, until i saw my best friend playing - she is ridiculously good at them - and then i sort of realized that they're just combat puzzles, and that like... they're kind of about honing patience, i guess? and after that they really became my favourite.

best soundtrack: honorary mentions: mass effect and dark souls both have some individual tracks i revisit on the daily, and skyrim's secunda is beautiful. but hollow knight doesn't miss, and i love how every track matches its environment.

favourite protagonist: i grew up in a really dysfunctional somewhat criminal family so like... lol. i feel seen when i look at arthur morgan <3 him and charles are both close to my heart. john can stay too ig

favourite villain: SO okay, maybe this is cheating a little, but. the reapers from mass effect. went into that game with zero spoilers, and finding out that they were in fact cosmic horror games was so <3

this would probably have gone to new vegas except benny (and also ulysses + i think he's more narrative foil than antagonist, as is benny) literally did nothing wrong in my eyes and after that point it's like... who is the main antagonist? the ncr and legion both? like yeah they're interesting but...

best story: i haven't actually finished pathologic on my own yet. kind of obsessed, though. just feels responsible to put it here. honorary mentions to new vegas, some fromsoft titles, twd, imagine ubisoft ballet........ (i love her and i miss her).

i feel like a lot of story games i've played actually have garbage stories with good characters, which is why they're not here. baldur's gate 3 and ME, for example. or like... ME has a great story at first but they fuck up the ending so badly that a popular theory i've heard passed around essentially boils down to "it was all a dream!"

have not played but want to: i was actually supposed to apply for a job with the team that made these games !! i didn't because it would have required relocation to the US, but. idk i feel like they keep showing up, always highly recommended, and i think i own one? so yeah, i should really get around to that.

you love, everyone hates: again, i cheated on this one. i don't think people on here hate dragon age 2.

you hate, everyone loves: skyrim, detroit: become human, stardew valley (because it's a weird little cottagecore colonialism game but also because i don't really vibe with the art style and i get stressed as fuck in it because nothing is happening... it is simply not for me), and fallout 3 and 4 (because they're masquerading as games with choices but they fully aren't, they suffer from bethesda writing, and they are super unapologetically racist and imperialist). i mean like... not mad at any of my friends who like these games i just cannot play them. i don't really think any of the games on my list are unimpeachable, tbf.

favourite art style: disco elysium !! it's so <3 like, i also love it for other reasons!! but every time i play it i end up wanting to draw.

favourite ending: new vegas has four endings. i feel differently about them all, but the independent ending is very much shaped by the infrastructure the player assembles during a playthrough, and while it is maybe imperfect and very open ended in some ways i like how it doesn't really reassure the player. also, i really like certain elden ring endings and the dark souls 1 ending. and pathologic.

favourite boss fight: hollow knight has a lot i've really enjoyed (particularly hornet's). for elden ring, malenia is the fave, tho <3 when i defeat her i tend to feel really disappointed. like, get up. let's go again. parrying her is extremely satisfying.

childhood game: we like... found out we had some cousins which is wild because this has been a tiny family since Certain Incidents A Long Time Ago and they also had nintendo ds access and they were not into this game. and like... look, i'm not saying it's great, but it had dark souls ish combat? like, you could lock on? you could roll? and i ended up replaying it as an adult and being like. huh. not that bad.

+ imagine ubisoft ballet ily

relaxing games: distance, injustice 2 (i main red hood & black canary but i like playing robin too. it's super imbalanced and they still haven't nerfed starfire !! and it's incredibly funny like good for her), dark souls 1, and elden ring.

stressful games: again stardew valley because i would play with friends and it was like oh god i need to leave. i do not know what to do, i am useless, i am understimulated

+ red dead online is not a good game to play without substantial backup . so glad i had horse insurance because if i hadn't my only friend in that world would be dead. that said, i did like to hunt in that game + play the fps levels with groups

games you always come back to: new vegas but maybe she'll release me someday. idk. also unfortunately i didn't include it earlier but i keep going back to the sims 4 and baldur's gate 3. and fromsoft titles because i sometimes just crave that combat.

guilty pleasure: new vegas again!!! i guess i kind of talked about my extremely complicated feelings when i first spoke about it, but yeah. there's just so much to unpack and i'm never going to forgive it for a lot of things. the horrors and the joys are both numerous but the joys will never not be tainted by the horrors

tons of hours played: elden ring + bg3 + new vegas + mass effect. i don't have the hours of new vegas and mass effect available tho as they are confined to a now dead xbox 360

[sgtmickeyslaughter]

Answer the Questions and Tag 5 Fanfic Authors

Thanks for tagging @jrooc

1. How did you get into writing fanfiction?

I’ve always been an avid reader and as a kid I wanted to be a writer so that was the start. I’ve been reading fanfic since i was in highschool, and I’ve had many different barely started fanfics started over the years but last year was the first time I was able to actually finish anything/taken it seriously. I think it just came down to college teaching me the last bit of discipline in my creative practice

2. How many fandoms have you written in?

Just Gallavich, but I’m very confident I will write destiel in my lifetime

3. How many years have you been writing fanfiction?

I published my first fic in September of last year!

4. Do you read or write more fanfiction?

it goes back and forth, when i enter a fandom i read fanfic voraciously but now i think i write a little more, its a balance between you can write the fanfic you want to read and you can read other peoples work to experience ideas you would never think of or just a different take on a familiar topic - both are good. I’m currently slowly going through and re-reading my old fics to get them ready to print and bind and its been a super fun process

5. What is one way you’ve improved as a writer?

I hope i’ve improved a lot overall lol the main thing i always want to do well is portray the environment the way i envision it bc the worlds of my fanfics are rich and beautiful in my head so i just want to get better and better at pulling people into that

6. What’s the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

Not a ton of weird research, a lot of google maps-ing to get a better understanding of the layout of Chicago and understanding how far away states/cities are from one another (i’m american, just a weird bicoastal one)

7. What’s your favorite type of comment to receive on your work?

literally any comment, all of them are amazing and i can’t believe people read what i write and actually like it ?!? beautiful and very novel

8. What’s the most fringe trope/topic you write about?

um - i guess ABO, i was originally going to publish mine all mine anonymously bc it was very cringe inducing and still kind of is but tbh when i read it back i was like- wait this is good, even if it’s weird.

psychopomp is also a weird story, the way i thought/felt about it while writing was deeply weird and all the the themes of death and decay and devotion and consummation as an allegory for love were intended to be dark and just- weird

9. What is the hardest type of story for you to write?

Emotionally introspective fics that also really study the characters are really hard and i dont know why I keep fucking writing them - after finishing the fic im writing now i have to shift to something more plot focused

its really hard for obvious reasons but i also feel like i am an extremely logic driven person with a very particular worldview and all these characters are more emotionally driven than me. so i have to work very hard to not write behaviors from my pov and my decision making but from a studied understanding of the characters - which might be a good thing idk

um also idk if it needs to be said but brevity is not my strong suit, i should probably work on that

10. What is the easiest type?

Fluff, just cuddling and pillow talk baby i love that shit, also idk if i write smut well but it def goes the quickest for me

11. Where do you do your writing? What platform? When?

Pages app on my icloud - I write after work some days, on my lunch break and on the train ride home. Every so often ill wake up early on a weekend and be in the mood to put on my noise canceling headphones and write for hours, but thats not super often

12. What is something you’ve been too nervous/intimidated to write, but would love to write one day?

uhh - we’ll see. my true crime au is def one i want to write but all my ideas for the plot are just too dark rn, so well see if i can get it to lighten up a bit

13. What made you choose your username?

tagging 5 writers: @callivich @mmmichyyy @iansw0rld @energievie @metalheadmickey

[cheekinpermission]

Happy 500 followers!!

How about 1 and 10 for the ask game?

Thank you for you participation, anon! Ask game is here! Send them in if you want <3

1. Who's hand did you first grab? Why? Would you choose someone else if you could do it over again?

I grabbed Idia's hand! When I first got into TWST, I had absolutely no clue what I was getting into so I really just went based on which voice actors I recognized LOL. I know Kōki Uchiyama from a ton of different anime (JJK, Buddy Daddies, Haikyuu, BNHA, Yuri on Ice, etc.) so I just went with his character. While Idia doesn't crack the top 5 for me, I don't think I'd choose again. The only reason I would is if it impacted the story somehow but I really doubt it will. I'm COMITTED.

10. Top five favorite characters?

Grim occupies all top five spots. BUT since that's boring, so I'll limit my choices to the main cast lmao. (My love for the dire beast is PROFOUND) I got VERY wordy here so here's the short answer: 1. Riddle Rosehearts

2. Vil Schoenheit

3. Malleus Draconia

4. Ruggie Bucchi

5. Kalim Al-Asim Explanation below the cut! (I got very excited to talk about my favorites and wrote a lot so I figured I'd condense it for people who didn't want to scroll through it all lol whoopsies.)

1. Riddle Rosehearts - I have no explanation for this?? He's pretty much the opposite of my usual favorite characters so idk what happened here. I've always been drawn to the Alice in Wonderland aesthetic so maybe that has something to do with it? He's got such great character writing, too?? Everything about his personality just makes sense when you know his backstory. When we learn that Riddle's tyrant of a mother was strict and controlling over him, the pieces just seem to fall into place. His whole life was just following her rules and studying like a good little boy, and when he stepped out of line even a little bit he was reprimanded harshly for it. Of course, he's going to the exact same thing once he's in a position of power. It's all he knows. He's just another version of his mother. Not only does he uphold the tradition of punishing rule breakers rather severely as he was when he was younger, I think there's also an element of fear there as well. Like, his mother just instilled an innate fear of breaking rules because bad things would happen if he didn't follow them exactly. I really do see Riddle as a scared little boy who is suddenly realizing that he was set up for failure by his own mother. And THEN he makes an honest effort to improve himself post-overblot?? His transformation after the fact is one of the more obvious ones and I'm just so proud of him. A THOUSAND HEAD PATS!! Okay, I'll stop rambling about him lmao I love Riddle sm (Also want to make clear I'm not saying Riddle was right for anything he did, only that I appreciate how his character was handled. Added for legal purposes so people don't come after me :c ) 2. Vil Schoenheit - This one comes as no surprise to me. Pretty boys who challenge gender stereotypes are RIGHT up my alley. Like Riddle, I think Vil has some great character writing is one of the more complex characters in the game. He just feels so compassionate to me?? I don't know how to explain it - he just gives such nurturing vibes. I'd trust this man with my drink at a bar fr fr. And then he tells Epel off for saying ballet is too "girly" for him?? Thank you TWST for bringing me this man. I pray at the altar of Vil Schoenheit. 3. Malleus Draconia - Doesn't Malleus top everyone's lists LOL I think my favoritism for the dragon man is more to do with his relationship with Yuu than anything else tbh. He's like one of three characters that actively engages with the main character and I think they've got such a fun relationship. Two people who feel very alone in the world finding friendship (or something more for you malleyuu shippers) in each other is so beautiful. I'm glad they can be there for each other like that. Side note: I adore romantic Malleyuu for sure, but I think it's equally as endearing if all of Malleus's flirtatious lines were never meant to be romantic but he's just really bad at communicating his feelings in a platonic way. Like, he doesn't mean to flirt he's just socially inept. 4. Ruggie Bucchi - Gremlin hyena boy is just too good for words. Ngl, I started off not really liking Ruggie all that much because of what he did in the Savanaclaw book. My mans was basically shoving people down flights of stairs?? I'm not really sure where the turn around happened tbh. Mischievous personality types do tend to draw me in in fiction so that probably has a lot to do with it. I also felt really bad for him at the end of the Savanaclaw book when Leona was ready to Thanos him out of existence despite everything Ruggie had done for him (and continues to do for him). I appreciate his work ethic, I can respect the hustle, and he's got such a cute little laugh. I wanna pet those big ole ears of his. Leona - pay this man more smh 5. Kalim Al-Asim - SUNSHINE BOY!!

He's such a breath of fresh air in this game LMAO. As much as I love the fact that most of the cast are unapologetically flawed, it's nice to have a few characters that are genuinely good people. His VA (Kazuki Furuta) absolutely kills it imo. I can hear his laugh in my head as I'm typing this - it's just so warm and happy :D He also breaks the sterotype of most rich characters in media by just being a nice person? He's not evil or greedy (although naive and entitled) and he just wants to be bffs with Jamil. Break his heart Jamil and we're gonna have WORDS. Also just like FORGAVE JAMIL??? His bfffl yeeted him across the desert, brainwashed him and admitted to wanting to get him kicked from the school and Kalim didn't really hold it against him. He was so understanding and sweet about everything AHHHHH