#and a large chunk of that was one specific expensive thing

[grassbreads]

I'm gonna have to really tighten up my budget soon (the student loan pause is ending 😔), so I decided to give myself one big manga buying last hurrah before I sit down with the finance spreadsheet. I also, for unrelated reasons, ordered a couple volumes of manga, a webcomic printing, and a book earlier this week.

I have more packages coming in the next month than I've had at literally any other point in my lifetime. It's Hanukkah in August for Andromeda.

[the-kr8tor]

Claimed by the Sea

Pairing: Pirate! Hobie Brown x fem! Reader

Word count: 2.6k

Tags: Use of Y/N sparsely, no specific physical description of the reader (except for her clothing), reader has nicknames, TW injury, TW drowning, CW blood.

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Between the Devil and the Sea Masterlist

Chapter 2 >>> Chapter 3

Your head is lolling off to the side, eyes growing heavy with the soft swaying of the ship in the waves. The only thing that's keeping you awake is the smell of fish lingering in the netting. Sniffing, you feel yourself succumbing to sleep.

You jolt awake when the fishing net jostles then slowly raises up, there's a mechanical whirring from the deck. The sun is peeking from the horizon, bathing you in blue.

“No, no, no!” Holding onto the net, you hold on for dear life. You just hope the sailors are friendly enough to let you on board until they dock to the nearest land.

Your only sanctuary floats above the deck, overlooking every crew moving about. Looking below, you spot their rugged clothing *They don't look like sailors. Maybe they're not wearing their blue uniform? It's casual Friday perhaps?

“Drop the bloody thing!” Someone yells from below, you and the net fall from a height that you're sure broke something in you.

With your eyes shut, you hit the deck with a splattering sound. Thankfully you land on the pile of fish, squishing a sizable chunk on the wood; decorating their ship with fish guts. Your butt hurts from the impact, you're for sure going to be picking out fish bones embedded in your skin.

Someone gasps loudly next to you. Hearing frantic slashing sounds, you shield your face from the shiny knife. Before you know it, you're free from the tangles on the net, baring yourself to the entire crew.

“Fuckin' hell! It's a mermaid!” A man with long blonde hair tied into a bun excitedly yells out.

You look at him with wide eyes, the large black flag hangs above him, the skeleton of a spider painted on the flag dances in the wind.

They're not from the royal navy.

Running footsteps come towards you, then they stop. You watch as twenty or so people circle around your fallen form. You instinctively cover yourself with the net. Their faces morph from surprise to amusement. Some laugh, some roll their eyes in annoyance.

A man with glasses slaps the blonde upside his head. “You idiot! Does she look like a fuckin’ mermaid to you?” he points at your legs that are clearly not fins.

The blonde looks disappointed, “Man, I thought my dream came true”

“Looks like we've got a stowaway!” They sneer and jeer, looking down at you, leaning their scarred faces close to your face. Too close.

“Get off me!” You push one away. Taking a fish from the ground to defend yourself. Throwing it directly at his eyepatch. They laugh louder at your expense.

“She's a fighter too! Cap’n! Look at what the fish dragged in!” A man with a peg leg, calls.

With heaving breaths you watch as a large man comes down from the steps of the quarter deck. His heavy footfalls quieting the roaring laughter immediately, his arms are as big as your head, tattoos decorating every inch of his ivory skin. His big bushy beard moves as he spits on the deck. Your eyes flick to his tree trunk like waist, his gun and cutlass glinting in the barely rising sun.

He huffs, smoke comes out of his nostrils. His eyes stare you down and you visibly shrink.

“C’mon, big man, bloody move it” a slender hand grabs the man's large shoulder, moving him away to reveal a tall, slim figure. He smiles once he takes you in. “What do we have ‘ere?”

“A stowaway, Cap’n” the one with glasses informs him. “Got into the fishing net”

He saunters over to you, heavy boots thudding against the wood. The metals hanging from his clothes are swinging and clashing as he moves. The crowd parts for him. His hands are in his leather vest, he looks at you like he's found buried treasure. His grey eyes are twinkling in the blue light, a smirk playing on his pierced lips.

You grab your necklace for comfort, heart sinking to your stomach, the golden chain is nowhere to be found. You pat around your neck and blouse. Nothing. You're alone.

“Thought ol’ Jamesy ‘ere found us a mermaid” he bends at the waist, giving you a full view of his chiselled face. His eyes are shining with amusement.

You recognize his face from all the wanted posters you've seen around different towns while travelling. If the circumstances were different you'd say the painting didn't capture him right; how his eyes look at you with hidden apprehensiveness, yet there's something dangerous in them, something that could spell your doom.

Your fear increases tenfold when you roam your eyes around the different faces watching you. There's recognition in some of them, some more than others, their bounties you've seen on their respective posters appear above their heads; each in increasing numbers.

“Aye, thought so too” ‘Jamesy’ mumbles dejectedly.

His voice shakes you out of your fear laden stupor, but it's still there, still in your quaking heart and sweaty palms.

“Y’know, we don't take too kindly to stowaways.” Hobie’s threat makes you jump in your skin.

“I heard you're not kind to anybody” you grit your teeth.

You're facing him head on, despite your heart pumping loudly against your ribcage when you get a glimpse of his twin blunderbusses strapped to his waist.

A smile spreads on his face, eyes crinkling in the corners. “Hear that lads? We're proper famous!” he leans away,

They all guffaw, snickering among the crowd. A blonde with chopped hair and pink highlights push through the audience. She clicks her tongue, sleep clinging to her lashes.

“What's all this, Hobie?”

“A stowaway, Gwendy. You remember what we do to stowaways?”

‘Gwendy’ rolls her eyes. “I'm too tired for this,” she sighs. “Let's hear her side before we push her off, yeah?”

Push me off?! Your eyes are widely roaming around the strangers, pleading for an ounce of mercy.

“Be my guest” He slides to the side, gesturing towards you.

The blonde stares at you, waiting for some explanation. You can't help but think you remember her from somewhere but you're drawing a blank. Swallowing a lump in your throat, the fishy smell and the numerous eyes on you turns your stomach inside out.

“I was–” the large man you thought was the captain stares daggers at you. “It was an accident, really. You see, I was incredibly drunk” you try to stop the shaking in your voice to sound more convincing. “And I thought I was going home, truly.”

“You thought a fishing net was your home?” the entire crew laughs rambunctiously.

Hobie observes you from the side, leaning on the bannister so casually.

“Maybe we should just turn around and bring her home. That'll be okay, right?” A teenager with curly hair and golden bangles on his wrists pipes up from the side.

You think of the man waiting for you at the docks. You'd rather be fed to the sharks.

“Yeah, 'm sure she'd like that, won't you, scuttlebutt?” The captain smirks at you, there's a knowing look on his face. “Unless you don't want to go home? I don't see why we can't just drop you off.”

He moves closer to you, squatting down to face you. “Or she doesn't want to go home, judging from the go bag, this isn't some little drunk accident.” you can feel your pulse trying to escape. His eyes never leave yours. “Sure you smell like fish but I don't smell any liquor on those pretty lips of yours.�� Hobie tilts his head, smiling mischievously. “You're running from someone, aren't you?”

You glare at him despite the fear crawling up your neck.

He nods, “Yeah, you are. We'd rather not be involved with whatever you've got goin' on.” his face turns serious, not even a ghost of a smile. “Finn”

With one call, the giant man takes you by the shoulders, standing you back to your shaky feet. You squirm, doing your best to push him off, but it's no use, he's too strong.

“Sorry to see you go so soon but I've got my entire crew to worry ‘bout.” he says softly.

You scoff, spitting venom. “The only thing you pirates care about is treasure and your next mark.”

With one last fight, you stomp on the man's boot clad foot, headbutting him in quick succession. They hoot and holler as your vision swirls.

Your act of defiance didn't even make the man flinch, he grunts, narrowing his eyes at you. Hobie's lackey turns you around to face the sea and the entrance to your death. Looking over your shoulder, you see him raise his thick eyebrow at you in mild annoyance.

“She's a feisty one, Hobie, you sure we can't let her stay? I'll take good care of her” A tall ravenette coos at you, staring directly at you with her dark eyes.

“I agree with Hobie, she might bring trouble” Another teenager comments, he crosses his arms, his eyes stare at you with remorse.

The man pushes you towards the open side of the ship where a singular wooden plank hangs precariously. The corner of the railing hits the small of your back. Your bag falls loudly on the deck, but you've got bigger problems right now than the sparse savings you've hidden inside.

“Wait!” You swallow your pride, it's better than drowning in the cold salty waters. “Please I'll do anything to stay or– or you can drop me off to the nearest land! Just–!” Finn pushes you again, your feet shuffle to fit the thin wood. The wind picks up, whipping at you wildly. The waves crash harshly on the side of the ship.

The vertigo makes you dizzy.

“Please! I can't–!”

Finn unsheathes his cutlass, pointing it at your heaving chest. You feel the sharp tip draw blood. He pushes and pushes until you're on the very edge of the plank. You struggle to find your balance while the wind blows rapidly, it stings your eyes, tears forming in them.

They all watch, some are grinning ear to ear like it's the best theatre show they've seen. The others are looking away or staring at their feet. Hobie looks on, posture straight, knuckles tight on his side.

“I can't swim–!” With one last push from the sharp sword, you fall.

Just above you, the pirates run towards the bannister to watch you fall in the water with a large splash.

Your back is stinging from the impact of the water, head pounding against your skull. The cold is unbearable like needles pricking your skin. You try to paddle up despite your thick clothes bringing you further down in the dark abyss. The dim light acts as your guide to the surface but it doesn't seem like your body is moving, you're quickly losing air. Bubbles escape from your lips, the salt blurs your vision.

Desperately with one kick, you feel the air from your lungs empty out, legs numb, hands reaching out towards the surface.

You choke on the salty water.

Her smiling face emerges from the darkness, now you know you've drowned. The only reason she would want you back is in death.

There's a muffled splash, a warm hand reaching for your cold ones. An unfamiliar arm snakes around your waist, bringing you up to the surface. They Frantically kick up, you feel a feather light touch on your freezing cheeks.

“Oi!” A muffled voice says. “Oi! Don't make me do mouth to mouth!” His voice gets clearer, he shakes your head, you feel calloused fingers on your skin then a breath fanning against your lips.

You splutter out, expelling water from your lungs with a choke. Holding to the nearest, steady thing, you grasp onto what feels like strong shoulders. Beneath your shaking fingers you feel raised scars.

“There you go, let it out, scuttlebutt” he pats your back as you continue to cough out. Your nails dig into his bare skin, he doesn't seem to mind. “Good on you for not makin’ me do mouth to mouth, huh?”

You wheeze out. “You fucker”

“What?”

“I said, you fucker!” Pushing him away, you sink back into the water, you panic once again.

Hobie grabs your wrist with one hand to pull you up like freshly caught fish. You glare at him through wet lashes.

“I saved your life and you're callin' me fucker?” You want to smack the smirk off his face.

“I almost drowned because of you!”

“Yeah, but that doesn't matter now because I saved your land loving arse! Who at this age can't swim anyway?!”

“Me, you bitch!” you try to kick him underwater.

“Hey, do you want to catch hyperthermia or what?” Gwendy asks from the lowered dinghy, her foot is resting on the edge casually, hand on her chin and a pierced eyebrow raised questioningly at you and Hobie who splashes water directly at your face.

With some help, you dog paddle to the boat. The smiling teenager helps you up, you feel like a ton of bricks with your thick clothes drenched.

“Here,” he takes his coat to place it around your shivering shoulders. “I'm Pavitr by the way, you okay?”

Pavitr tries to rub your shoulders for extra warmth but you flinch back, hugging the coat tighter around you.

“I'm fine, thank you, Pavitr”

The blonde pipes up, “I'm Gwen”

You nod, good thing you haven't called her ‘Gwendy’ yet.

“You needed the bath anyway, fish girl” Hobie scoffs from the other side of the boat.

You glare at him, huddled to yourself in the corner of the raising boat. The squeaking from the pulley makes you hold onto the side tighter, just in case it fails and drops you back down in the freezing water.

Hobie chuckles, water drips off his bare chest, glittering under the peaking sun. You look away with a roll of your eyes.

“Gwen, give her something warm to eat, yeah? And some clothes.”

“I was about to do that anyway”

The boat reaches back up, the crew secures the rope on the pulley with a grunt.

Hobie drops down on the deck first, he offers his hand that you huff at. Ignoring his help, you step on to the ship with shaky legs.

“Sea legs, you have to get used to it or the next two weeks for you would be hell.”

“What?”

“‘m letting you on board until we reach land. Unfortunately for you that won't be for the next two weeks. After that we're even.”

“Look who's guilty for almost killing me” you stand toe to toe with him. The rest of the crew has either gotten bored or are watching you two squabble with a smile.

“Don't push your luck, fish girl or I'll make you walk the plank again” he challenges you with a sly smile.

“I have a name!”

The captain tilts his head, amused. “Yeah? Tell me then so I have something to write on your gravestone”

You point angrily at his tattooed chest, right on the inky drawing of a long legged spider. “It's Y/N, asshole!”

Gwen sighs, waving you off.

“Well, Y/N Asshole, keep that fire in you but don't let it burn down my ship or–”

“Or what?”

He stares at your eyes, swirling grey whirlpools threatening to pull you under. Hobie sighs, turning around abruptly, leaving you standing alone on the deck.

“Hey!” You call back, “or what huh?!”

He waves you off, “‘s too early for this shit, ‘m goin' back to sleep. Goodnight, fish girl!”

Change of plans: survive the next two weeks with an entire ship full of pirates or die drowning in the middle of the sea. That should be easy enough, right?

A/N: Thank you for reading 😘

[doodlenoodleboi]

Tw: a blue lock rant is my special interest at the moment. (This was a draft from probably weeks ago)

I need to write for my boy Jinpachi Ego, write how I see the man, I see him as a bit autistic, analytical and football/soccer being his special interest/ hyper fixation given the fact he knows an absurd amount of information about it without looking at the multiple monitors he has on analytics. Given how this is his hyper fixation he may or may not have made this software himself. But also Blue Lock seems to be a big organization in order to get so many people so I’m guessing they have an analytical team. That also makes that episode where they talk about money making sense. If ego was doing this the analysis by himself if would be much cheaper but at the same time this is a rather big facility with bills to pay as such. Without making a specific profit and no donation to such a cause this would making it hard to maintain. This would end up putting people and a massive debt the people who fund this are unknown the general director/manager is Ego. Anri Teieri seen as Egos Manager or assistant of sorts (I’m an anime watcher and going of wiki) she is a JFU member and blue lock manager and assistant. This makes the founder or even co founders unknown. Anri Teieri does tell Ego that Blue Blue lock that they need more funds this could mean he is the founder or have close connections with the ceo. Something or the sort, maybe he also manages Blue Locks funds I don’t know but Anri Teieri has been the only one to go out and make speeches to make money possibly but she does drag Ego around I think . (I’m going based off memory here) Those speeches about Blue Lock are done around rather wealthy people and I’m gonna assume this is how they get a chunk of their funds if not all. Anyways a manga reader correct me and I’m going based off how this would go IRL I mean things like this do go on like this but just not on such an expensive and large scale. Mostly because it would be a rather expensive non profit, of course I’m sure the workers get paid but i don’t think they have much more then that

[mrraapeti]

Rift Universe Fruits

1. Chabba Fruit- Sun shaped sour fruit used for lemonade equivalents.  The swirl on the front tastes like cinnamon and is used as a baking ingredient.  

2.  Disapear Fruit- A fruit that tastes like a cross between an apple and a pear.  It disappears when it feels threatened.

3. Gem Fruit- A fruit with delicious flesh that can be eaten without peeling.  Seeds are poisonous.

4. Pie-Pie Fruit- Poisonous and bitter tasting medicinal fruit.  Once refined it can be used to ease indigestion.

5. Frostdrop Fruit-  Fruit that can only be eaten when frozen, lest it melt and become a horrid gooey texture.

6. Grabba Fruit-  Used in stews, a hearty ingredient.  Hallow center, thick but sharp outer spines.

7. Cabso Fruit- A fishy smelling fruit with a sweet cherry flavored center.  The flesh around the center is inedible.

8. Tabua Fruit- Fruit that tastes awful in its base state.  The unpleasant inside is dried and refined into a dust which is used as a spice.

9. Soogar Fruit- Fruit just filled with a sweet syrup.  Is refined into sugar.

10. Myo Fruit- A fruit that has the consistency and taste of raw mammal meat.  Must be cooked to achieve peak flavor.

11. Angel Fruit- A juicy and minty fruit that grows where it snows.  Can be eaten raw or put in a salad.

12. Foya Fruit- A fruit as juicy as an orange and as spicy as a chili pepper.  Great ingredient in hotsauce.

13. Olda Dona Fruit- A Dona fruit that's far too ripe, do not eat this.

14. Bagbang Fruit- Non edible fruit. Seeds are crushed and used as gunpowder.

15. Purpur Fruit- Fruit filled with fresh, sweet water.  Essential on planets with no source of fresh water.

16. Sako Fruit- Fruit shaped like a fish that actually tastes like Gushers.

17.  Cinnakinna- Only perfect for eating when it begins to drip frosting-like syrup.  Any other time it's mediocre.

18. Hottaddi Fruit- Fruit that, when boiled, can be opened and poured out to reveal a hot, sweet drink.

19.  Nuba Dona Fruit- A perfect Dona fruit, tastes like a frosted donut.

20. Shybell Fruit- Translucent fruit with a milky juice within.  Easy to digest and a common ingredient in teas.

Rift Universe Meats

1. Dragon Roast, tough, pressure cook it.

2. Trotters, Meatsaur.  Meatsaur's are alien dinosaurs genetically altered to be ideal food.  

3. Liver, Meatsaur liver

4. Bunbun Kidneys, a toxin/poison neutralizing organ.  Soaked 72hrs before cooking renders it edible.  But why would you eat in the first place, that's gross, they're people.

5. Angel wings, small, sold in pairs.

6. The leg and foot of an unnamed mining species.  Not recognized as a planet with intelligent life, they're free game.

7. Angel leg, fine meats in the Inferno.  Technically illegal but lol you gonna say no to a demon?

8. Demon leg, fine meats in the Inferno.  Yeah them demons be fucky.

9. Entire Side, is fuckin big, animal has pretty patterns on their meat cause they skin is see through.  They live on the cold,  dark portion of Planet Rift.

10. Drumstick, Demon again, but this is pretty big and is usually fried specifically.

11. American-Style Roast, made of the native species of planet Rift, Moomkeys.  No one is safe.

12. Kallopian leg.  They lil predatory horses, but intelligent.  Everyone is food.

13. Tomahawk Steak, a fuckin frog thing, nothing special about them other than they hail from Kallop like the Kallopians.

14. Kabab chunks, angel.

15. Bunbun loin, falls apart when overcooked.

16. Ghost Filet, super hard to get so expensive.  Like not even sold to financially underwhelming people.  Tastes like fish.

17. T-Bone, unnamed slum animal.  Common meat eaten by the people at the Base of Rift City's buildings.  Tastes like 'gator.

18. Trotters, human hands.  We are all meat.

19. Angel Wing, large, sold individually.

20. Meatsaur Tongue, eaten by higher class Rift residents.

21. Meatsaur strips, for your fussy lil baby who demands tendies.

22. Demon Bacon, tastes like sin. 

23. Macro Ham, made from different cuts of Macros, giant insects, all glued together.  Presented as cold cuts.

24. I may have mis-numbered the picture.

25. Bunbun Arms, chewy.

26. Dragon Neck, enjoyed by older Rift generations.  Not very good really but it's TRADITION.

27. Ribs, unnamed giant bird found on rift.  Kinda cruel to eat this considering the birds are peaceful.

28. Sard Tail, like eating a fucking fetus you monster.  Sards reproduce by budding, dropping their tail end so it can reform into a new Sard.  You're awful for eating this.

Rift Universe Plants

1. Sky Bush, a bush that floats through the air.  Good luck to spot one.

2. Mercy Belles, flower named after an act performed in Rift's history.  A pair of frighten sisters offered these flower to a Rift colonizer as they begged for their life.  They were not spared.  Bad luck to give one to someone you like.

3. Coro Tree, secretes a sap that eats away at the tree itself.  

4. Peaktre Tree, small tree often trimmed into shapes.  Sprouts flowers on the leafy portion a translucent reflective dangly flowers below.

5. Hoverleaf bush, remarkable due to the fact that the leaves float, but is otherwise poisonous.

6. Devil's Tail stalk, secretes a tasty yet often throat-closing sap.

7. Brealla, tall stalks of harmless plant that can be used a defense against Rift's acid rain.

8. Marsh Mall, mushroom that tastes like chocolate and gets you high as fuck.  Dangerous in high doses.

P. Fliver, mobil plant native to Kallop.

10. Relp Cabbage, loved by herbivores of Rift.

11. Triproot, root-system that relies on its preytripping and falling into it's tendrils.

12. Speaksies, aka Screamers.  Replays what it hears to excess when a living thing nears it.  Fields of these flowers are  completely devoid of any life with a heartbeat.

13.  Scarebros, also found in fields but uses a humanoid figure to deter other humanoids from nearing it's flower.  Grows  better in well cared-for farms, humanoid figure can be harvested as farm-animal feed.

14. Orbit Berries, tastey!  Picks up small objects and flings them at enemies.

15. Space Rose, the first flower found by human astronauts.  Not really a flower, it's a demon below the planet they were on.

16. Garlands, leaves that grow from a mold found only on ceilings.

[statementlou]

I think with these festivals there is the obvious benefit of exposing Louis to a general audience but also a financial one. Personally I’m curious on what the payment structure is for him. Does he get a flat fee or does he get a percentage of the gate. If he sells merch does he keep it all or does the festival get a percentage. This year is a good way to generate money without too large of an expense burden. I found it interesting that afhf is under his touring company and that financials for the touring company are a very abridged version for this years filing. Of course because the filings are always a year behind it hard to get a real sense of how things are going though truth is even with a more complete filing you really have no way of knowing the financials since not all expenses and deductions are disclosed and some things have a delayed payment schedule.

Ah more questions we will NEVER learn the answers to :/ really good point though it will be SO much cheaper than bringing their 5 trucks worth of stuff and staff around the world... everything will be built and waiting for them, they can just customize with a smaller crew and just bringing their decorative additions rather than stuff to build the entire stage and area. I don't have a clue but I can only imagine festivals take a HUGE chunk of merch sales though, with what we've learned recently about venues and merch cuts - except for AFHF where Louis gets to keep absolutely everything! Nice, that. And of course even with venue specific merch for as much as they sell at the shows (and have to hand over half the profit) they also sell it online, with no cut taken out.

[polyhexian]

Is it worth it to upgrade from csp pro to ex if I'm looking to get more seriously into animation?

It depends. I suppose a good half answer is: would I take the money I spent to upgrade ( usually something like $180, but I got base csp in a humble bundle and upgraded on black Friday so I basically spent $80) back and go back down? No. Never. I wouldn't even take the full $180. Worth it in every possible way. I use the ex features every day and have the entire time I've had it.

In the pro version you can only animate 24 frames at a time. In EX you have unlimited frames. Ultimately, that's what matters here.

So it depends on what you mean by "more seriously" I think. If you are already making videos that need you to make more than 24 frames at a time then you should upgrade because it's time to make the thing you're already doing easier by using that tool. If you're not, don't stress yourself with a fairly large purchase for something you're not sure you even need. If you are making smaller animations, you can export 1 second videos from pro and then put them together in another program. You probably need to re save it in something else anyway- exported csp videos are HUGE. A thirty second video could be 10 freaking gigs. I always have to re export it in a different video editor actually made to do that. YouTube actually compresses your video a small amount anyway, so that perfect crisp quality... Is going to get lost. Even if you export in 4k. god it annoys me.

In any case. If you can possibly get away with not upgrading, don't upgrade. Even if it means cutting up the audio into one second chunks in audacity to import into CSP. With a big purchase like this, and obviously. Things can just be. Pirated. But I don't know if there's any good cracks of csp ex and when I got it there CERTAINLY was not because that was back in like. 2018? 2017! Because it was for black Friday. Ages ago!

But also like if you want to know like. What programs I suggest or use in general vs have access to. I always prefer to draw or paint in medibang (free). I always animate in CSP EX (not free). I do any basic video editing like just adding two clips together, text, etc, I use wondershare filmora (not free, but much much less expensive than csp ex). I have Sony Vegas (not free but industry standard), adobe animate (not free, do not use), Adobe After effects (not free), and Photoshop CS6 (not free, maybe not available as single purchase anymore?). Vegas is theoretically great but I can't adapt to it so I don't use it. Didn't like animate. I use after effects occasionally for specific things, complicated panorama shots, complicated compositions, effects, layered looping animations, some other things. I don't use Photoshop. After effects is basically "you can do a lot in csp but it is primarily an art program, not a video editor and there are some things I really need a dedicated video editor for" program. And usually thats wondershare filmora which is reliable and lightweight. And can kinda do a lot these days.

Just. You know. I mean if you can find a torrent of ex yeah dude absolutely

[mommalosthermind]

Gonna do that thing where I rant about how other people confuse the shit out of me for a sec-

Because, honestly, is it a new thing? To be this up in everyone’s parenting? OR. Have i managed to mostly avoid this (from strangers. Family I’ve just. Stopped talking to.) by not having any friends as a kid and then also only recently being tricked into talking to neighbors by my Extreme Golden Retriever of a youngest child? I do not fucking get it.

*no*, mom up the street, I would NOT like to get a watch like your kid has, I do not care that it’s only $10/m on your phone plan. I do not need more bills, for starters!! I have three kids, you think i should be dropping 30/m? On a watch that’s more phone than watch? Girlie, they do not HAVE phones for a fucking reason. Several reasons. Oh, it’s for your peace of mind. Right. Well. Here’s a piece of mine:

I do not need to be strapping an expensive piece of tech onto my black hole of a kid. My son’s bedroom door has a hole large enough for a toddler to crawl through. I *know* he will break the damn thing if it’s not lost within 12 hours. And maybe it’s just me but buying something with the SOLE PURPOSE OF CONSTANTLY SPYING ON MY KID seems like a BAD FUCKING PRECEDENT actually!!

“But he’s only 11!! What if he gets kidnapped! Or hit by a truck! Or lost! Or abducted by aliens!!”

Baby girl you watch too many cop shows. There’s no huge spike in violence, there’s better reporting and fear-mongering coverage. Do you think everyone is out to get you, specifically, because you watch too many cop shows, or because you’re so deep in your weird little cult that the brown kid across the street is the enemy despite being a grand ten years old?

My kid is just as safe—is actually more safe than I was as a kid, because a decent chunk of my hill town life I was on what amounted to a highway. That i was crossing regularly. By myself. Sometimes on a bike, to go read at the reservoir, or the river, or the school. Alone. By my self!! Where no one knew where I was because that was the entire point!! OH! And sometimes!! Not willingly at all!! Because when the fucking dogs got out I would stick my arm through the collar and get my ass dragged to the cemetery because there was no way my 80lb ass was stopping the nearly 300lb Great Dane that wanted to hang out with the birds across the highway but if I wasn’t with the damn dog when the neighbors alerted my mother I would be so very unbelievably dead. Anyway. I am not dead. I was not spied on by anything other than neighbors and the going-to-work traffic that became to used to watching me get dragged by dogs that they would just. Drive to my mother’s work and be like yo, your kid is flapping in the wind behind Hercules again.

I had to deal with MOOSE. I had to haul ass into the house because a mama bear wanted her kids to play on my swing set. I had to cross four fucking lanes of traffic to get to the park. I did not get a cellphone until I was sixteen, driving, and had a job, and even then it was because my mother gave me the first one because, and I quote, “when your ass makes a wrong turn and ends up in canada, you should maybe tell me.”

My youngest! Is wandering around the same three fucking self-contained streets! No one even comes down here unless they live here because there is nowhere to go. This is hilariously the most insulated place I have ever lived and I hate it so much because I can see into about eight different house from my backyard. I feel so watched all the time. Literally what do you think is going to happen if you don’t have a constant bead on your kid other than your kid having serious issues as an adult.

ANYWAY. That got away from me. The POINT. I am not making at all here is that I do not understand the need to be constantly spying on your kids in the name of safety. I don’t care how often you make sideways comments about how I’m a bad, neglectful parent. Especially from a woman who taught her kid that ‘you’re a good Christian’ is the highest compliment, and the word ‘lesbian’ is a heinous curse word punishable by like, death, or something.

I hate that I can’t exist anywhere in the world without being spied on or recorded, why the fuck would I normalize that for my kids who are independent people who deserve privacy and the right to learn how to be a person WITHOUT ME hovering?

Let! The kid! Roam! He’s got a watch! It tells the fucking time! He knows when to be home! And he’s in his own neighborhood, making friends and learning how to be something that isn’t me!

[pangtasias-atelier]

A Day In The Month (Ch.3)

So I was aware of me disliking like a lot of the seasonal banners, but I didn't realize that I kind of flat out hate almost all of them lmao. Especially Day of Devotion since it's all the same and so are like almost all the others. I definitely rushed this out just to get it out by march and also wanna get to fat bitches despite also wanting to pace sizes. So not much large sizes still but definitely will be some whenever next chapter is out cause I think I'll skip spring unless next is the kid banner cause that I'm skipping for sure lmao

But anyway, take this shorter entry that is far more focused unlike last chapter which was meant to be focused as well lol.

Warning: This is a fetish story!

"He really can't have gotten them all to be the same. It's just ridiculous! Who could possibly hate such a holiday?" Commander Anna's ponytail is loose. She lugs a large wooden crate in both arms; the frame creaks as she rushes to her table, the red and pink contents nearly spilling out its very sides. Despite her frantic state, her stand is already near empty. Not from lack of goods, but from a surplus of customers. Thankfully, one of her sisters, specifically Anna, attends to their guests while Anna restocks in-between transactions.

"Commander Anna, what's with the rush?" Alfonse carrying his own crate to assist Anna, he happily slams the wooden object onto the floor and lets out a relieved sigh as he arches his back. His pudgy little belly sticks out forward.

"It's the summoner! He refuses to buy anything!" Anna looks up at Alfonse from her seat, all the while restocking the stand without a single item out of place. "He should be a great customer, but no! And it's not just him, he's gotten all the others to not care about the Day of Devotion," Anna reaches into the second crate, a good chunk of the first crate of chocolate already sold.

"But you've already sold so much. Even I've bought a few things from you," Alfonse eyes the chest chock full of money behind Anna, the thing already close to full.

"There's always more profits to gain. That's seven potential customers I'm not getting. And-" Anna starts sniffing like a bloodhound. She scrambles around to get up off her chair, her brain scattered with the smell and thought of gold. She follows the sensation, walking into the center of the large room full of booths all run by Annas. She spots both Corrin and Freyr, the two wandering around the center of the room.

And it's apparent that she isn't the only one aware of them, every single Anna aware of the potential money to be gained from such valuable guests. But none of them move from their spots, a secret pact made between all of them to not interfere when it comes to customers.

"I think I'll see my way out," Alfonse scurries on out, his bag full of chocolates meant for Hrid rustling on his arm.

Unfortunately for Corrin, the poor overweight dragon still hasn't made a purchase. Corrin's arms are wrapped around Freyr's flabby bicep, the much taller man still keeping a perfectly straight back as he faces forward. Meanwhile, Corrin can barely even muster up the effort to make eye contact, his eyes instead making contact with the mostly the floor, Corrin unable to even bother looking at the merchandise on display at the gaudy, over decorated tables.

"I already mentioned that the summoner doesn't care for the holiday, so anything should do,"

"I know that," Corrin's face doesn't lift up as he takes slow steps, but his grip on Freyr does tighten, Corrin's fangs showing as he grits his teeth. He barely registers what Anna is saying, the far too eager chatter nothing more than a sales pitch into getting him to buy the most expensive things. Which is usually the largest, rarest chocolate mixed with some other ingredients, most if not all the gifts for the Day of Devotion are something edible considering the weights of all the men.

Corrin eventually settles on some dark chocolate, the bitter confection mixed with sweet caramel. And before Anna can even say anything else, Corrin hands her enough money and leaves. He ignores all the other Annas in the room; every single one slowly turns their head to follow the two portly men's movement, each waiting and hoping to see them stop by their stand. But neither do, they walk out of the room without waiting — more so from Freyr's insistence by keeping a hand on Corrin's back and gently pushing him forward.

"Are you content with your purchase?" Freyr asks only after they leave room and the conjoined hallways, the two back near the hall is the Order's castle where they live.

"It's just," The plastic wrapping tightly holding the box of chocolate treats crinkles as Corrin's fingertips grip the edges of the box. "I would like to give Kiran a meaningful gift. At least anything decent enough to repay everything. Growing up, I never had a chance to,,," The box cracks. Corrin's hands glowing a faint, iridescent mixture of light blue and deep purple, his hands are slightly transformed.

"Why don't we head inside first?" Freyr leads Corrin to the hall's living space, everyone else most likely out and doing their own shopping.

Well, except for Tibarn, the hawk comfortably perched on the barstool.

"Hmm, perhaps you would feel more comfortable somewhere else?"

"Tibarn already knows," Corrin shakes both of his hands and takes deep breaths to slowly retransform himself.

Tibarn looks up from his beer and plate of food when he hears his name. He turns his head, his broad back and doughy rear facing the two; though he quickly stands up when he realizes who it is. Tibarn's gut is on full display with his open jacket; the small belly is accompanied by a soft, yet powerful chest, Tibarn's pecs having some extra heft to them with his figure. Both Tibarn's meaty chest and plush belly have some motion to them as he gets up and walks towards the two. Tibarn is definitely larger than the two by a chunk of weight, always having been larger than the two portly men when all had been initially summoned.

"Why aren't you with the others?" Freyr asks as he goes to sit down in the main seating section in the room, a decently sized coffee table placed in between several couches. The coffee table also has a small covered platter of treats, usually some amount of snacks readily available for the slightly overweight men.

"Duma and Grima went out. And someone needs to keep an eye on them, so Seteth went with them," Tibarn stands in front of Corrin; he sizes him up, taking a look at his expression.

"Before you ask, no I didn't see them. They can enjoy themselves with the alternate versions of me. It's just, I've felt so much better ever since I was summoned to Askr, so I'd like to show my appreciation to Kiran. It's not like this is the first Day of Devotion, either. I always end up giving chocolate," Corrin lets out a small sigh as he stares at his now cracked box of chocolate.

"Today isn't the only day to show your appreciation. All today is is any regular day. The only difference is that the humans suddenly decided to dress it up in fancy language. Nobody did any of this back in Phoenicis. You just show how much you care for someone by your actions. And from the way you cling to Kiran all the time-"

"I don't!" Corrin shouts with wide eyes and upturned face to look at Tibarn. "I don't cling to him. I just prefer being by Kiran's side,"

"We also do not partake in this holiday in Ljosalfheimr besides a few who took interest in it after seeing humans practice it. And regardless, Kiran has certainly made no mention of being upset with you, or anything even resembling it to be honest. So you can put your concerns to rest," Freyr barely makes a noise when Tibarn gracelessly drops himself onto the couch.

"Yeah, relax! You're worrying over nothing,"

Everyone's attention turns when the door suddenly opens.

"Oh, here you all are," Kiran pokes his head through the door, letting himself in after seeing who's inside. Though he has to be careful when walking through the doorway, slightly bending down lest his horns scrape against wood. The very first summoned by Briedablik, Kiran had been summoned by Askr's own will, and to represent the divine being he has his own pair of bovine features much like Askr. His horns frame the top of his head, the two decently thick while also being rather long. Which, when paired with Kiran's height, make for a rather statuesque figure that appears even taller with Kiran's lean body that has the bare minimum of muscle to it. Kiran is the only thin male in the order, a fact that none question about, all seemingly normal with nothing out of place, everyone in the Order believing their chunky weights normal.

"I've been looking for you three. The others are already waiting for dinner," Kiran holds a large, filled bag in one hand. His tail flickers behind him as he waits for the others to stand up.

"Everyone else has already given you their gift?" Corrin asks. His grip tightens.

"We will see you two for dinner,"

"Later," Tibarn pulls Freyr by the arm; they quickly leave the room

Kiran doesn't say much to stop them as they leave, merely scoffing instead. But, he does focus his attention back on Corrin once they do leave. "Yeah, Tibarn, Freyr, and Seteth gave me something early in the morning. And Duma and Grima gave me stuff not too long ago. Why?"

"Well, even if it's not much, I want you to have this," Corrin lowers his head as he outstretches his arms to give his chocolate to Kiran.

"These are the caramel ones, right? I was eyeing these when I saw some of the Annas setting these up,” Kiran accepts his gift, placing it into the pouch with the others. He gives them a soft hug, bending down a bit to properly and carefully give him a hug without poking him with his horns. “And nothing is too little from you,”

“You gave me an entire kit of stuff though,” Corrin’s face is practically crammed against Kiran’s shoulder due to their height difference. Thankfully, he doesn’t feel his stomach press against Kiran with how much Kiran has to arch his back.

“Oh that? All it was was a bunch of tiny things you might like to calm you down. Physical gifts are whatever, I’d much rather spend the Day of Devotion with you than concerning ourselves on what gifts to get each other. And now that I’m finally done cooking everything ” Kiran pulls away from the embrace but keeps a hand collapsed with one of Corrin’s. He leads him out of the room, guiding him to another place in the massive wing they live in.

Kiran opens the grand doors leading to the decently sized conjoined kitchen and dining room. Everything is already set up, trays of dishes lining the table. Most of it is made by Kiran, only a few extras made by the much more experienced staff to help recreate dishes from each heroes’ world.

Corrin grumbles at the sight. He fidgets with his free hand. Repeatedly pressing his nails against his palm.

“Listen, I don’t care about what you give me. I care about what you do, and what you do is make me happy. So truthfully, you don’t need to worry about today. It’s just a ploy by Anna to make more money,” Kiran gives Corrin a small peck on the cheek before gently ushering him to his seat next to him so as to join the already eating group.

“O-okay,” While Corrin still feels a little unsatisfied, the anxiety riddled dragon hard to be fully trusting, he does smile at the least. His nerves much calmer now he easily accepts the seat that Kiran pulls out for him. And the food that Kiran serves him, deciding to eat his fill and enjoy the Day of Devotion.

[spearheadrampancy]

So... if you don't mind me asking how've you been?

hoo boy. yeah. tldr: alive!

quite a fair chunk of shit happened i think. when i redownloaded the app i weighed up if i was gonna make a post abt what's happened, but ultimately decided against it bc i wasnt sure how active i was gonna be. looks like the answer is very, so i might as well for anyone who's curious (:

on with the details in no particular order!

just before we stopped posting, we mentioned how the company we worked for announced big profits, an expenses-paid trip for the top employees, and also the tiny small news that the team we were on was getting downsized from 20 ppl total to about 3 (6 to 1 for my role specifically). well, we did end up losing our job completely because the company was unwilling to make reasonable adjustments so we could move to the same role in a different team (we don't have any legal grounds to take action unfortunately). but this was fine for us bc we grew jaded with how management was doing shit anyway. they also laid off about 700 people from across the company a few months later.

we spent months trying to find a job, and eventually applied to university on a whim. we got in! we're studying game design and are currently in foundation year (level 0) of the course. we were pretty worried about "fitting in" and suff but honestly we made friends instantly and it turns out a lot of lgbt autistic folks are studying game design foundation year. strange! (/s). its a little weird being part of the popular clique now.

we built a site. a real one! with colours and scripts and all that! a couple sites, actually, but only one is what we're comfortable sharing publicly (other site is sys member info for friends to reference). the site is on neocities, available here. we got really into coding for realsies around the time that we stopped posting. we also got into something called choicescript, but the site took priority as we use it as a digital portfolio. we also started practicing API work by making little tools for the discord bot pluralkit, but they are. uh. far from finished

we got an rgb bulb that actually works with shortcuts, so it inspired us to actually code shortcuts again. they're pretty advanced now; we have a series of them dedicated to forcing us to sleep (it obviously isnt working given i'm still awake at 4am !!), but they're really smooth and helpful

we started drawing properly again (i know we've posted a lot of art on here but most of it is low effort memes. and also none of it was trad art, which we got back into), in order to prep for being asked for a portfolio for uni. which we eventually didnt even get asked for. we opened an instagram account to post it to while we work on getting our art on our actual site, and recently a deviantart account for crossposting.

i stopped writing. i also largely stopped building on my ideas for games and comics and such. this was more because i had More Pressing Things to be writing about, like our CV, and our applications, but i havent really picked it back up. in a bit of a plateau of inspiration rn. wanna fix that though.

we started playing hotline miami, which we'd been meaning to do for years. completed the first, got halfway into the second before a TERRIBLE AWFUL THUMB INJURY (dramatic. didnt even need glue) rendered us entirely unable to use a controller. it healed but we havent finished the second yet. today's actually the first time since august that we've even touched a controller, let alone played any games.

we got back into making music. we decided the system was going to start releasing music as a collective, so we set up a whole youtube channel and stuff for it. videos'll start january 1st, we hope.

i convinced two people to watch red vs blue. my token cishet guy friend who was my colleague at Shitty Workplace (i sent him slutty locus from earlier and his only response was "amazing") and one of my new uni friends (very autistic i think they will go feral for it). token cishet just finished season 8 and uni friend is in season 3 i believe.

health wise has been. a ride... our normal gp stopped practicing entirely, and we dont trust the other gp's at our clinic, so we've been entirely unmedicated and unchecked since november of last year, barring OTC stuff. except for the part where at the end of october we finally saw a rheumatologist (after being referred in 2019!) who said we probably had fibromyalgia. earlier this month we also caught some Mystery Illness that lasted two weeks and nobody knew what it was. our voice still hasnt recovered fully and the whole experience was weird, but the hospital nurse wasnt concerned and it didnt come back as positive for That One Illness That Got Really Popular In The Last Three Years so its honestly likely that it was just the regular old flu, which we werent used to after only really suffering from Disabled Person Sicknesses for the best part of the last 15 years.

we met steve downes and jen taylor, the voice actors of halo's master chief and cortana! got photos & signatures (: steve complimented my jacket and jen Really Wanted A Nap.

WE GOT THE GRIFBALL PLUSH (: i would make this bigger if i could. it's just one of those Material Gains that has a lot of sentimental value to us. and i found my glow in the dark ring which i cried about. again: material gains of high personal significance.

so yeah! a lot. im probably missing something because i have the brain of a sieve. but we're alive and thats the important part.

[scattered-winter]

Hey, if you dont mind me asking. I was wondering what major things you might be changing about the series in your rewrite? Or if your not, what minor changes your making, would love to know if you cool with it! Have a great day!

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKING I WILL LITERALLY BE SOOO HAPPY TO TALK ABOUT THIS AT ANY TIME

I think the biggest change is that I won't be doing the lion switch, which will change a lot of things that happened after that in a sort of ripple effect so I guess it's safe to say that the rewrite will be fairly canon compliant up through the season 2 finale, but after that I'll start changing things up. the plot will still roughly follow the same timeline (w the team dealing with lotor and haggar and then eventually zombie zarkon) but a lot of the specifics will change. I'm cherrypicking moments that I like from later seasons, but kinda shifting around the contexts a bit and also adding in a bunch of new variables (there's a fairly large chunk of the story dedicated to adam and everyone left behind on earth trying to figure out what happened to their loved ones, and also some story about matt and sam, and some alien rebel groups, so on and so forth) so it's kind of a blend ahdgdksga

tldr: things will be pretty canon compliant up until the s2 finale, and after that it'll basically be a cocktail blend of assorted characters + concepts + scenes from random moments in later seasons blended together with stuff from my own brain. <3 even the stuff in the first 2 seasons will be a bit different because there's a lot of extra scenes and moments that I'm adding, and also tweaking a few minor things just for personal preference (like not making any fat jokes at hunk's expense 💀)

[implausiblyjosh]

My one big criticism with kingdom hearts as a series is that the game difficulties are largely awful. You are usually taking more damage, dealing less damage, and are provided no gameplay reward for doing so. Some games give you stuff, like KH2FM's Critical Mode & KH3's Critical Mode give you tons of starting AP and extra abilities, but it doesn't really give you anything else.

Compare this to something like The World Ends With You. In TWEWY, you can both set a difficulty and the drop rate of enemies. Some pins, the items that give you your movepool, only drop at higher difficulties. Drop rates can be increased at the expense of your maximum HP. You are rewarded for both types of increases in difficulty, and these changes can be made on the fly. If you just wanna get through the story, you can play on Easy all the way through, and then when credits roll you can go back and replay chapters at harder difficulties. This provides you with the better rewards you may have missed the first time, along with TWEWY's Secret Reports which tell you more about the story and the world of TWEWY. But regardless, you're always getting rewarded for increasing the difficulty.

The only game in the Kingdom Hearts series that comes close to this is maybe re:coded? Not just in on-the-fly difficulty changes, but also being rewarded for those changes.

KH1FM's Proud Mode provides you with nothing, you take double damage in fights and in the Gummi Ship, and you deal half damage in Gummi levels. This is truly awful, especially in a game that is just bad to play. That 2nd Ursula fight just ended my run, her damage output is frankly unfair and you can only get hit once or twice before going down.

KH2FM's Critical Mode provides you with a bunch of extra AP and extra abilities at the start. You also deal 1.25x damage, and get more AP per level up increase. However, you gain less EXP, enemies do more damage, and every other aspect of leveling up is worse. While there are some minor benefits to this mode, on the whole you're being pushed with little reward.

I think the worst aspect of this is that the games encounter designs are just not good enough to support these modes. I played a little bit of KH3's Critical mode, which is similar to KH2FM's Critical, and it just felt… bad! The Wind Titan part of the final boss fight in Olympus has a move where parts of buildings will fly at you. Well, those will just sometimes hit you from behind. No reaction window or seemingly any way to tell, just a chunk of building from off-screen and behind the camera hits you sometimes and kills you. That's just not fun to play! When this happens on Beginner or Standard you have enough HP to absorb those unfair hits so there's more wiggle room on bad encounters. On Critical every single awful design choice is suddenly make or break.

On top of that, you encounter those things in these games enough times you start to wonder what the point is. Genuinely, what is the point? The only thing a lot of these modes do is cut down on boring side stuff you'd have to do to see a cool extra video at the end. Largely there is no gameplay reward for this as you play. You're not getting extra EXP or better drops or cooler moves or anything. Maybe if synthesis items dropped more by default, or there was more EXP or higher level caps, or you can get better/cooler loot, there would maybe some gameplay reason to to do this. But there isn't.

I don't mind getting my ass kicked by a hard boss, but I like being rewarded for taking the extra challenge. It's fun to finally beat a boss or encounter at a higher difficulty and get something for that specific difficulty/encounter combo, even if it's just "better gear" or "number goes up better". The design philosophy of the harder difficulty modes is not to reward you at all, but to just make things more of a slog. They're just no fun.

[zetsubonna]

The THING is, a lot of these people who are reacting in this Calvinist fashion just. Do not read philosophy or psychology. (Y'all spend a lot of time on the internet talking to each other, which is fine, but sometimes you gotta go outside your comfort zone in search of mental forgaging exercises.)

So I'm going to give y'all this link to a Psychology Today article on the Four Elements of Forgiveness, which is not paywalled, and then go on a little riff of my own.

From the article:

A. Express the emotion B. Understand why C. Rebuild safety 4. Let go

The author explains, in the article, that the mix of letters and numbers is very much intentional, because the first three elements are in communication with each other and all have to be balanced before going to 4 is possible.

Y'all can unfollow forever/block/whatever if you want, but I have fucked up in my life and I have hurt people. A few of those people have chosen to never interact with me again, and that's their right and I do not chase after people who do not want me. But the person I consider my most often injured party is my younger sibling, and, while I have offered multiple unconditional apologies, I have never asked them for forgiveness.

Whether they forgive me or not is not about me. That's about them. That's their journey. (They have told me that they forgive me, and I try to accept that graciously, but I do not hold their grace as infinite.)

Whether I forgive myself, though, that's between me and myself

A. I express and experience regret for the things that happened between us when we were children, decades ago at this point, and I feel I have a lot of things to regret. I was a child, and I was abused, and I passed that pain along, sometimes intentionally, but usually without thought. I would have said then, and I still say now, that I love my sibling[s] more than anyone on this earth. When I think about my sibling[s], I think about a quote from a show I like, where a sister tells her brother: "I love [partner] with all my heart, but you. You are my heart. You know that, right?" Like, everything I know about myself, I know because they taught/showed me. I exist as I am because of who we are and have been to each other. Knowing that I have not always been kind to them and being able to cite specific examples of times I caused harm, that self awareness occasionally brings me deep sorrow.

B. I know why I did those things: I grew up in a constant climate of abuse. Many different kinds, from many different sources, and I spent most of my childhood and a large chunk of my adult life under that state of constant stress, endlessly operating under duress. The abuse was the behavior that was modeled for me, and while the hard fact of my parentification did not make me an adult, it also did not change that I used some of that unearned authority to my advantage at the expense of those I was meant to safeguard. I knew better, in some cases, but I did not choose to be a martyr about it: sometimes I let someone else take the damage in my stead. It was not okay, but it was understandable. I was largely in survival mode, and people do things, when they are in a conflict, they would not do otherwise.

C. I have been in therapy and on psychoactive medication for a decade. I do not skip therapy appointments. I do not miss doses. I am not interested in weaning off my drugs. I have identified the patterns of the abusers in my life and take steps, daily, to avoid replicating those behaviors in myself. I resist any position of authority I do not feel I can handle, and try to stick to relationships between equals whenever I can. I try to keep lines of communication open. I try to build trust by maintaining confidences and using thoughtful honesty. I give unreserved praise and encouragement whenever I can. I love fiercely, and try to stay humble, in the hope that I do not hold myself above or apart.

4. I cannot undo what I have done. It is done. Time moves in one direction. I can do better today, and better than that tomorrow. I will.

Now, y'all, most importantly: so can you. You cannot undo what you did, but neither can you allow it to destroy you. You cannot constantly punish yourself. I promise that nobody [decent] wants to be the stick with which you self flagellate, not really, and for sure nobody worth fucking talking to wants to hear you talk about what a shit person you are. The only person you should inflict that shit on is a therapist. They elected to train for that profession and they get paid to listen to it. Almost nobody else does. (Tip your hairdressers and bartenders, y'all.)

the thing is, if your younger self was a bigot or an abuser, u can't make people forgive you. but you still gotta forgive yourself, like that's non-negotiable, dude. that happens before u can even ask the question of earning forgiveness from anyone lese

[emptymanuscript]

This Video feels extremely appropriate for me today

Her solution actually brings to mind my recent success in weight loss (which is turning around at the moment so I'm thinking about what worked and what didn't a lot right now).

One of my fundamental strategies that brought me down from a high a high of 218 at the start of the year to a low of 170 in October, was a focus on dessert. I have a horrendous sweet tooth. I have tried to cut out desserts before. It never works for me. So, what I did this time around (right up until Halloween >_<) was plan dessert.

Instead of trying to not have dessert, I made it a point to have a specific designated dessert that was within my guidelines every day. I always got dessert. It was just that I always got the planned dessert which I had planned around. And knowing that made it possible to govern my sweet tooth when I have always failed to get rid of it.

Cravings felt much less vicious when I could tell myself, honestly, you're going to get dessert. You're getting X at Y pm. I promise. I already bought it. I can see it right there. It's ready and waiting. You'll get something you like, I'm just not giving you this other thing Z that you want right now!

And I'm wondering if that's what I need to do with my news consumption:

Decide that there are certain news experiences that I get. I'm just going to give those to myself. Free and clear. I guarantee them. It's just that it is that specific behavior that is allowed rather than the general behavior and the planned behavior comes at the expense of impulsive behavior.

:/

Seems like that would be harder with news.

:/

Though that reaction tells me that it is probably a good idea to try and figure out how to do that.

...

Maybe use my Apomic Clock, since I bothered to make it and am fiddling around with it.

It is a 2 Hour "day" or 4 (+ large Break in between) Hour "day" if it is treated like an AM/PM. Each Pom is a period of 30 minutes, with 5 minutes of break/leeway on each end, to make 10 minutes of, hey, do you instead of doing what you should be doing. Essentially a broken up 4th Pom of doing something I want instead of something I should. And all together that takes 2 hours.

If I gave myself something like 2 Poms of News... that would be something like 80 minutes all together (because I know what I'll choose to do just because I want to, will be to take in more news).

:/

That's a LOT of time.

But I think it is also LESS time overall than I'm spending now. If I actually chunked it all and compared. I think I'm spending something more like double that in information consumption.

And I don't think it is good for my mental health.

I have backslid a LOT this month. I would say pretty definitively that, overall, my worst self won November. Not to paint the rest of the year as paradisaical. I am generally not a healthy individual. But more of this year has actually been an upswing in my health as opposed to a downswing. And I would like to get back to going in that direction.

I am truly sick and tired of being sick and tired.

The time has come to change.

And my favorite 2 lessons from an AA (equivalent) member:

It is NEVER too late to decide you want to change your behavior. It doesn't matter if your drinking binge was last week, you can decide that that isn't what you wanted to do and decide, right now, to address the issues that enabled that behavior you want to change. Yeah, you still gotta deal with the consequences. But you can absolutely still work on it. No matter when. No matter what. It is NEVER too late. Not even necessarily when you're dead because that was when he decided to change his behavior, when they literally had to shock him back to life in the ER and it wasn't the first shock. It is NEVER too late. So, don't use what happened/is happening/will happen as an excuse. Use it as a reason to do what you really want: get better.

People do only change when they hit the bottom. Sad but true. However, what people often skip in that is that it is that they get to choose what is rock bottom. For him it was dying and having to be brought back. But plenty of people stop earlier. Rock bottom isn't a literal place, it's the place that is too far for YOU to keep practicing your old behaviors. You get to choose. You can say, right now, right where you are, for whatever reason you'll believe, that this is as low as you want to go. You do have to believe it. You can't BS yourself. But, let's face it, we've all done stuff that we never want to do again. We have all done stuff that feels so toxicly nasty to ourselves that we would do quite a lot to prevent ourselves from doing it again, even maybe changing how we lead our lives. So, let one of those be the tipping point. Let that be enough. Choose what has already happened as rock bottom and change yourself to approach your problems in a different way. No, it won't be easy. No, it won't be pleasant. No, it won't erase what has happened. But if you really do it, you don't have to go any lower. It's your choice. It will give you power. It will enable you to do YOU better.

I do not need the news. I don't. I know what is going on in general. Especially when it comes to the bad news. It's giving me specific instances, not diagnosing the problems. I can feel the exact same way about everything without accumulating ever more evidence that isn't pointing to anything new. I can act on the evidence that I have. I don't need convincing. I'm convinced of my positions already. All I'm getting is confirmation and rage and depression and anxiety - which are all different faces of the same dice.

When more than 50% of your chances are bad results, the only way to win is not to play. Stop rolling the dice.

Easier said than done.

But doable.

Yeah.

Ok, goal: 80 minutes on the Apomic Clock a day. That's it. That's all.

Reassess in January.

[loverofpaperwork]

Elon Musk tries yet again to sue for Defamation and contract interference re:Media Matters

Repeating History

To refresh my memory if not others, In July 2023 Elon Musk's Twitter Corp sued the London, England based Inc or Ltd, The Center for Countering Digital Hate. It has the classic tropes of a lawsuit designed to waste courts time. A defendant the court shouldn't really have standing over, wild claims that cannot prove either defamation or any interference of contracts, and hurt pride. That complaint Attorney representing Twitter from White and Case, Johnathon Hawk, claimed that the CCDH Injured Twitter by "scraping" data, and intimidate clients. Well in all honesty John Hawk claimed that the CCDH targeted specific users to remove off of Twitter. The piece de resistance of this whole travesty of law was the part where Twitter pledged to enjoin 50 john doe defendants that were apart of a "Large Dark Money group" that subverts American politics and promotes Covid-19 Vaccines.

History at this point will note that this case can be entirely dismissed from court or continue shortly. Perhaps in light of this fact twitter didn't even try to bring in Media Matters into this whole dark money group thing that was undermining Twitters efforts to "promote free speech"

in fact apart of the CCDH's answer was:

“At its core, X Corp.’s grievance is not that the CCDH Defendants gathered public data in violation of obscure (and largely imagined) contract terms, but that they criticized X Corp. (forcefully) to the public,” -cnn (Online hate watchdog moves to dismiss lawsuit from Elon Musk’s X | CNN Business)

*it costs a decent chunk of money to get lawsuit forms, they don't have the pdf available yet, I ain't paying for it.)

While I hesitant to take anything at face value in a lawsuit, the core of the CCDH complaint and the Media Matters complaint is Elon Musk's injured Ego. One for suggesting his company promotes hate, and the other for straight up calling his company anti-semetic.

Dark Money

at this juncture I wish to move into the subject of Dark Money. The Dark money trope, because it is a conspiracy theory, is that elections are controlled by large sums of invisible money. It can't be traced, reported, or even noticed; except by those who have the will to see. It is an easy way of calling out a political opponent or group that is more popular and has more resources.

It is also slightly based in fact, like all good conspiracies. People just don't realize how expensive it is to run an election. That increasing price is seen as corruptiong, and not the nearly constant electioneering parties do. They really do win a seat of office, and immediately start running their reelection campaign.

The fact that Twitter has of yet to name any groups must show that Hawk's theory of a large group of parties trying to undermine twitter is false. Or he got fired, lemme bing that real quick. No he still works for McDermott, White, and Case. I guess Elon isn't footing the bill, OR MAYBE THE DARK MONEY GROUPS GOT TO HIM.

Hate on Twitter

Twitter has been known for years to bring out the worst in people. They have a profile pic, random name, and something in them wants to Seig Heil. I can't explain it. Its like it is designed to remove your filter when you post, which is why I never did. I quit the site months ago. So I don't know how bad it is know, but right after Elon took over, the entire thing was crypto porn bots it felt like.

Hate has always been a problem online, so it shouldn't be embarrassing for Elong to have to deal with it. All he needs to do is actually make small changes and announce they are apart of a larger plan. and boom. No longer anti-semetic. at least in the public perception.

Elon's weirdness

Elon likes fringe United States Politics. Stuff that isn't popular, but garners a lot of internet traffic. Think Reddit and 4chan hate politics. Spend enough time with Nazi's and you start to sound like one. That happened to him. Unironically his tweets out of context sound really bad. Like on a scale of 1 to hitler, like a 6 or 7.

I think he doesn't understand how bad his statements come off. I am choosing not to repeat what he reposts, or amplifies, or the posts he makes for two reasons. One, it always sounds worse to leave it vague, and two, I don't want to share such vile things.

Media Matters lawsuit

well now to real reason I write this. Yet another group is under the crosshairs of the self-proclaimed free speech absolutist. I don't really like what they do. I find their pithy messages, pithy. Often without context and they draw wide conclusions.

On the other hand this lawsuit alleges a general tort, or civil injury, but is unable to list any damages in the complaint. And protip, all the pontification in the world is useless before a judge if the other party did in fact not be the proximal cause of your injury. Twitter, in its own argument, is the inflictor of its own grievous wound. They put ads next to bad tweets, not Media Matters. No user has that authority or contract with the advertiser.

Oh and for good measure Elon wants the article removed entitled Musk endorses antisemtic pro nazi conspiracy theory, X has been placing ads for apple, et al, next to pro nazi conent from its web. (link As Musk endorses antisemitic conspiracy theory, X has been placing ads for Apple, Bravo, IBM, Oracle, and Xfinity next to pro-Nazi content | Media Matters for America) and not the other 19 articles the lawsuit mentions that harm Twitter and are all lies... etc. Again they can't cite one instance of lies in the complaint, when no proof is necessary but recommended.

You see they claim that they caused a business relationship to fall apart, but can't prove that. Even if it was true, Media Matters has to cite any of the thousands if not billions of reasons that Musk is a bad social media brand manager. Poof, the central concept and damage of the lawsuit becomes null. The entire lawsuit hinges on Musk proving that business relationships were irreparably and unfairly damaged by Media Matters, and good luck, it ain't happening.

all of this being said Media Matters did not:

pervert the truth to say what they want (paraphasing)

Manufacture a fake user experience

Threaten Twitter in any way

Manipulate algorithms (they cant, twitter controls those

the clueless lawyers for X instead of giving Elon a Xanax and ketamine decided to file this suit. They claim that Media Matters manipulated the platform by creating a newish account and following some bad actors in the space. Bad actors amplified by musk, followed musk, and unbanned by musk btw. This is not manipulation; this is an authentic user experience. People post bad things and then you see them. These posts are promoted by the algorithm randomly anyway because they attract a lot of views and engagement. Twitter tries to claim it is fake, but Media Matters as a matter of fact cannot and couldnot invent a fake twitter enviroment. Media matters did not make Seig heil posts. they merely refreshed the Seig heil posts until advertisers appeared next to it, thereby honestly simulating the twitter experience for the average user. these nazi kind of accounts just appear in my experience, doesn't matter if you are looking at cats, or a Snoop Dog post.

Media Matters simply showed screenshots of these companies advertising next to salacious materials. What threat did they make. DId they call for people to "cancel" IBM because they advertised on Twitter. I cannot recall of any. And even if they did call for people to cancel a company, did anyone listen? was any damage done? well good luck proving it.

Perverting the truth and distorting it isn't a real cause of action or defamation. Media Matters may have helped things along, but they didn't knowingly make a material misrepensentation of the facts as they understood them. I find it difficult for Musk, his attorneys, or anyone to really prove they knowingly lied.

The fact is that Twitter, under Musk's leadership, has continued to advertise next to posts that praise Hitler, among all sorts of things. Trying to claim users can curate them away is a false answer to the claim that advertisers are advertising to things they would rather not be associated with. Imagine a Vacation Bible School being put up next to hardcore porn. I am sure it happened. If users can curate the experience to hide bad posts, then bad posts exist, and have ads next to them.

TURNS OUT THIS IS WHY TWITTER "SHADOWBANNED" PEOPLE. TO STOP ADVERTISERS FROM LEAVING BECAUSE SOMEONE WAS 420EPICYOLOHITLERDIDNOTHINGWRONG cat emoji, eggplant emoji picture of a horse pooping, picture of a lady getting beheaded in an anime. Troll face. advertisers for the most part don't want to be next to that.

Turns out Musk firing the people that handle this kind of thing really really bit him in the ass. Who Knew?

[speedrack1]

Advantages of Picking Used Pallet Racking at Speedrack

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What Are The Benefits Of Utilised Pallet Racking Frameworks?

These are some special rewards you get with utilised bed racking frameworks:

Savvy and Monetary

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Solid and Tough

Contingent upon the condition utilised, bed racking frameworks are by and large very extreme and tough. They are intended to stand the heaviness of items for quite a long time. These racking frameworks are intense and can be utilised over and again. A couple of things to check:

Rust development

Broken welds

Debased bolt associations

In the event that these were looked at, there ought to be successfully nothing off about the framework, and you can try it out! There are sure support methods you ought to perform yearly to keep all that functioning in top request, yet in any case, you are all set!

Natural Cordial Methodology

As an organisation, you really do have a specific commitment to decrease your carbon impression to the most extreme degree. Getting a pre-owned pallet racking framework will assist you with keeping up with your carbon impression, and assist your business with procuring possible impetuses and endowments. Also, it is the moral thing to do too, since these racking frameworks are completely adequate at being worked for quite a long time, so if not re-utilized, it would overcome its motivation.

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Conclusion

Utilised bed racking frameworks can be a distinct advantage for your business, by assisting your distribution centre with taking on more stock and profit by that. Besides, as referenced, they are savvy, so you can grow without significant venture. Take full advantage of them today, gain by them, and get upgraded income streams!

[captain-kit-adventuress]

Ok, I’m putting on my old accounting hat for a minute.

The IRS having its own free direct file program is sorely, sorely necessary. One of the main reasons is because the IRS already has all of the information you’re reporting, especially if you’re like most Americans and your taxes are uncomplicated or change little from year to year or both. There’s no reason to fill out a bunch of forms telling them what they already know. It’s been proposed, at least once that I know of but I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s more than that, where the IRS would send you something every year with your tax info already filled out, you look it over and make changes if necessary, and then e-sign and e-file. The whole process should take less than twenty minutes for most people and it shouldn’t cost a thing, especially because for most people, it’s mandatory.

A step up from basic Turbo Tax was $70 this past tax season. Many people need this version for something CPAs call “above-the-line” deductions and credits. You can claim these (if you qualify) whether you take the standard deduction or if you itemise, and they’re really valuable because they can take out a major chunk of income that would otherwise be taxable. There’s a bunch of them, so I won’t list them all, but two of the most common ones are for tuition expenses and student loan interest.

You had to buy the $70 version if you wanted access to the tax forms related to above-the-line deductions. Tax forms, it should be noted, the IRS provides for free every single year. You can’t even fill out the forms yourself in Turbo Tax if you know how and want to save money, because they just…won’t be there. Last I checked, that’s practically next door neighbours to extortion.

Because what the bigwig at Intuit was warning about with “harm” was trying to freak people out about not knowing how to do their taxes, and thinking they’re going to get audited. Guys, gals and nonbinary pals, audits are extremely rare outside of certain tax brackets, and more likely than not, you aren’t in one of those brackets. There are always a number of returns selected every year for random audits, but I guarantee you the IRS doesn’t have the funding, time and/or manpower to do this on a large scale.

The worst that will happen if you screw up your taxes is a letter from the IRS asking you to either clarify or send documentation. That’s it. If you really mess it up because you don’t know what you’re doing, guess what! They see that a lot and you have available to you the bona fide error defence. Like, if you made the error in good faith, and you weren’t trying to cheat or knowingly claim something you’re not entitled to, the IRS is like, cool, that happens sometimes, let’s just get this fixed, see if you owe us or we owe you, and be done with it. Of course it sucks to owe on taxes, but they’ll work with you if you ask.

Taxes look scary, but they’re really simple for most people, and every single tax form comes with detailed instructions including multiple examples of what goes on every single line of the form, specifically so you can do them yourself and not have to pay for help. My only tip is make sure to keep the best financial records you can. It’s not easy, and it does take work, but it can become a habit like anything else. That, and if you don’t have a lot of money but still need to file taxes, lots of places have volunteer programs like VITA where accounting students (the ones who will go on to be CPAs) can help you file your taxes. And, as a reminder, all of this info is at the Federal level, because most states have their own taxing jurisdictions and rules, but many of them are based on the Federal tax code and you can still receive help from local programs, usually.

Turbo Tax, though somewhat easy to use, is basically one of the biggest scams ever. I once tried to use H&R Block’s software for a tax class project, and it was so unintuitive and unusable that I ended up downloading the forms I needed from the IRS and did it by hand. And that was when I was actually taking tax as part of my accounting education. I think now the PDFs might even do the math for you, I’m not sure.

This has been a long time coming and I couldn’t be more excited for you guys. People who don’t know how to do their taxes deserve better.

Source

We deserve to live in a society where companies like Intuit cease to exist