#and a friend of mine is leaving the country soon and idk if i'll get to see them before they do and i haven't seen them in

[kingxfmischief]

[It's frustrating that I can't really ENJOY October since starting this job. I can't ever do anything because I'm working all weekend, every weekend, and they've fucked up our schedules so badly this year where no one is getting as many hours as the past two years that I can't afford anything because I'm just...not getting paid as much. In the past I NEVER had 4 days off in a week unless it was from a request off or it was the off season (November, December, and then March), but now I've had a TON of weeks with 4 days off. Which can be helpful for how bad my mental health towards work has been this year, but is very unhelpful because oops who needs money??? And I can't really change jobs because this is really gonna be the only way to keep my foot in the door for careers I actually want. But I know tons of coworkers that have left or had to take second or third jobs because of how they're screwing us over.

It's just...it's fucking frustrating. If it continues like this next year it's just...it's kinda frightening.]

[frances-and-the-moon]

Long Long Long Long Rant

So, if (which is a big if) I manage to find a house, I am thinking of moving back to Iceland. To be honest, I didn't love the country - it's small, it's in the middle of the cold sea, there are few people, many of them are depressed etc. - and when I was living there - since I was alone and I had gone there to study and not to work - I wasn't prepared for how much not speaking the language would hinder my job prospects. Now the thing is that I am back in Southern Italy, and the job situation is absolutely terrible here (not to mention the fact that I don't like my hometown but that's already been said). So in those two years I was in Iceland I did manage to learn some Icelandic, which is all well and good. But after two years there, I started being a bit depressed about the long winters, the ice etc. and I started dreaming about teaching English in other countries like South Korea, Japan, China, Thailand. South Korea and Japan seem to be out of the question - they always want native speakers for visa purposes. In the meantime, I've been sending CVs kind of everywhere - Thailand, Vietnam, China etc. to see if I can manage to find an English teaching job there. Italy is not necessarily out of the equation, but: - I have to move to the northern part - getting a teaching job in Italy is a terrible hassle. Like, it takes the longest, longest time. I've worked so little in Italy and I've always seen myself abroad (that might be my hubris mentality of "ooh I'm better than the Italians who stay in Italy"). But. Even though I like teaching, I also like dog-sitting, translating, bartending, making coffee. I'm not exactly picky when it comes to jobs, but I am picky when it comes to where and how I live. So I was thinking - what about Australia? A friend of mine lives there, she loves it, there are beaches, they seem more relaxed etc. etc. BUT (and this is a big, big BUT) the visa is a pain in the A**. Because say that after one year of sweat, tears and money (visa+flight+accommodation+private health insurance costs) my WHV expires and there I am, back to square one. Iceland wasn't exactly square one for me - the country is so small that you understand it well as soon as you arrive, and getting hospitality jobs is not hard. The wages are good, they have unemployment benefits (which Italy doesn't have), and, sure, I might not get my dream job (for which I don't have the qualifications anyway), but I would at least survive, compared to Italy. (I would just need to be able to keep a job for longer than 6 months, which was my average there). Australia sounds appealing. It doesn't sound perfect, but it sounds appealing, although I know it would be just a way for me to run away from my hometown. Well, every move is like that, but it's different, I think, when you move for a specific job or for a specific country you like. I would have to start all over again in Australia, on the other side of the world, with no connections no nothing, with the certainty that it would only be for one year. So I keep sending CVs. And I keep thinking thinking thinking but I am afraid that if I keep thinking I'll basically spend the rest of my life doing that, considering everything but doing nothing. It's either the tarots that need to speak, my mind, or I might be super super lucky and receive a super good job offer. Idk what to do. I wait for perfection - perfection doesn't come - I get dejected. I thought life was a straight line and at the ripe age of 32 I'm realising that it is absolutely not, that narcissistic families do not like their adult children, that this hometown is horrible, that friends leave, that at some point we all think about money, and most of all, that I have no clear goal in mind and no clear place I want to live in. (Because, let's be honest. If I ever went back to Iceland, even - it would take me a decade to learn to speak that language) Or maybe at myself. That is why I thought about Iceland. It was home in the past - why can't it be home again?

[hseulies]

❗TW ((TEENAGE PREGNANCY/ MENTION OF ABORTION/ UNDERAGE DRINKING/ ONE MENTION OF MASTURBATION)) ❗

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I'm 17 and I want to go to university in two years. (legal drinking age in my country is 18 btw)

So, I broke up with my boyfriend on the 10th and hooked up drunk with an ex-fling on the 14th of this month. It was gonna be my first time but there wasn't penetration, but he did have it at like "the entry". Now,, there's a small chance that you can get pregnant from precum and the next day I masturbated (penetration), so it could've been pulled up into me by that.. I guess? And my period is late. It was late already (I didn't have it during February). But I supposed it was going to be from 2 to 2 months again (it was like that at first and then it started coming every month), but if that was the case I should have it this week, actually I should've already had it. And it could be soon but I'm having no symptoms of it (I usually have sore breasts a week before it starts and some cramps one or two days before).

I know of a couple teas you can have in order to have your period faster, but if there actually is a baby it could be harmed by it, bc the tea would trigger contractions of the uterus.

If you asked me a week or two ago what I would do if I got pregnant I would've immediately say abortion. But now I have no idea.

I guess I would want to abort if the guy, his family and my family aren't supportive. Specially financially, bc my family doesn't have the conditions right now.

Anyway, my plan was to wait two weeks and see if my period comes and if it doesn't I'll ask my friend to buy me a pregnancy test...

It's a SUPER small chance that I could actually be pregnant but it's possible and it's better to plan. Also at this point it's a reflection on my own ethics..

I feel like it would be so humiliating to admit to someone that at one point we weren't wearing a condom.. But he broke the condom and we kept going bc we were drunk. If I was sober I would've stopped after it broke.

I think I didn't leave anything important behind. Idk, what do you think?

-🥭

oh yikes, first of all i wanna say that i’m here for you, and if you ever wanna come off anon i will never judge you or anything like that bc i know this must be so scary for you. second of all, i agree with you that it’s better to plan ahead in this situation just in case, but it’s also important to remember that it could just be a scare and nothing is confirmed yet. and i agree that you should wait the two weeks bc it might be too early for a test to be accurate.

i want you to remember that if it does turn out that you are pregnant, whatever you decide to do next is completely your choice and no one else deserves a say in it. and you are also allowed to feel whatever emotions you may have without feeling guilty or ashamed.

in terms of your financial situation, i know that that must be the most stressful part. i hope i don’t offend you by saying this but i’m sure there a lot of people on here including followers of mine that would be willing to donate for your situation, wether you end up needing an abortion or needing support to keep the child.

i also wanna say that if you do turn out to be pregnant and want to keep the baby, that doesn’t mean that you’ll have to sacrifice your education, so please don’t worry about that right now. i know plenty of young people that have finished high school and gone through college with babies and although it’s hard, it is possible.

i hope everything i said comes off well, i’m not really used to getting serious messages, but if i said anything wrong or hurtful please let me know. once again, i’m here for you 💜