#and a few weeks later i messaged them to say it was still stuck in my head

[sleepnoises]

most beautiful song about hoarding you'll hear today

[vanteguccir]

── ୨୧ !　𝗧𝗥𝗔𝗜𝗧𝗢𝗥

　　　　　　　　　𝒎𝒂𝒕𝒕 𝒔𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒐𝒍𝒐 x reader

SUMMARY: Y/N and Matt are in a complicated relationship, where Matt is still stuck in the past with his ex. In an angsty pathway, Y/N suffers when she realizes that Matt will never love her as she wants.

WARNING: Crying, panic attack, comparison, ANGST.

REQUESTED?: Yes, by anon

AUTHOR'S NOTE: That is my work, I DON'T authorize any plagiarism, copy, or "inspiration"! | English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry if there's any grammar error.

Part 2

　　　༻✦༺ 　༻✧༺　༻✦༺

Y/N adjusted her stunning dress in front of the mirror. The bright red silk fabric hugged her curves in a way she knew would make heads turn that night. Her hair fell in perfect waves over her shoulders, meticulously styled by her curling iron, and her makeup highlighted her features impeccably.

There was a palpable excitement in the air, an expectation of Matt's reaction; she always expected to receive showers of praise from her boy, just as she did for him. The party they were about to go to - a fancy one that celebrated the launch of the new Space Camp line - would be the perfect opportunity to show everyone, and especially him, how hard she worked to be perfect.

The low sound of the bedroom door's handle turning sounded through the silence, Matt's figure appearing through the wooden frame, and all Y/N could feel as she watched him through the mirror's reflection was her racing heart. He looked stunning in his black suit, the crooked tie relaxing the seriousness of his attire.

She waited for the compliment, for the spark in his eyes that would confirm that all the effort had been worth it.

"You look beautiful, Y/N." Blue eyes traveled over her body for some seconds, but before she could absorb the joy of that moment, he finished. "Did you know that Amanda has a dress similar to yours?"

Y/N felt her stomach tighten painfully as her heart felt like it was being broken by a hammer three times its size. Amanda. Always Amanda. Matt's ex-girlfriend was a constant shadow between them, a specter that Y/N could never completely dispel.

She forced a smile, swallowing the anguish rising in her throat.

"Oh, really?" Was all she could say, trying to keep her voice steady, her hands shaking slightly at the side of her hips.

Later that day, the party continued with Y/N ​​by Matt's side, but her mind was far away. Every time someone praised her, she remembered Matt's comment. Even surrounded by people and with Matt by her side, she felt incredibly alone.

Her thoughts revolved around a single question: Why couldn't he see her for who she was instead of always comparing her to Amanda?

　　　　　༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

A few weeks later, a new day brought a new blow. Matt was in his shared room with Y/N, sitting in his gaming chair with his upper body resting on the wooden surface, his hands on his Macbook, busy answering emails sent to the triplets' mail.

Y/N entered quietly, carrying two glasses full of fresh watermelon juice, knowing that Matt would definitely be thirsty and hungry after hours of sitting there. But as she got closer, she saw his computer screen. The messaging app was open, and the open window wasn't just any texts — it was old conversations between Matt and Amanda.

He read them with a melancholic smile, his eyes shining with a longing that Y/N knew all too well.

"Matt..." Her voice came out in an involuntary whisper, the broken tone sounding louder than it was expected.

The boy startled, closing the laptop quickly.

"Babe, hey, you scared me!" The boy turned around suddenly, clearing his throat and laughing awkwardly, trying to look casual. "I was just... clearing out some old stuff."

Y/N just nodded, the pain growing inside her chest.

"It's fine. Here, I made this for you." She raised her hand that held the fullest glass, smiling brokenly and keeping her eyes open, taking note on how Matt didn't notice the tears shining in her orbs or pretended not to.

She knew he was lying. She knew he was stuck in the past, that Amanda still dominated his thoughts and his heart. But once again, she chose to ignore it, to stifle her own suffering out of love for him.

Because losing Matt was a fear that outweighed any pain she might feel.

Right?

Right! Until things reached an unbearable point.

Y/N had an appointment at the beauty salon, something she did to feel a little more in control, a little more beautiful in a reality where she always felt insufficient. Matt said he couldn't accompany her, claiming he had videos to film with his brothers. She understood, or at least she tried.

It was Saturday, they didn't film on Saturday.

Sitting in the salon chair, while her nails were being done and her hair was treated, Y/N took out her phone to pass the time, holding the device awkwardly for fear of smudging her sparkling nail polish.

Scrolling through Instagram while her ears caught some conversations around the salon, her heart almost flew out of its place and up her mouth when she saw a photo that one of the celebrity gossip pages had just posted.

Matt was in a coffee shop with Amanda.

His smile was radiant, a kind of joy Y/N hadn't seen on his face in a long time. He looked so… complete, so genuinely happy.

Y/N felt the world come crashing down around her. Tears burned her eyes, but she held them back, looking around at all the other radiant women before turning her attention back to the news, clutching her cell between her left fingers, a low "sorry" scaping her lips when her right hand trembled against the manicurist ones.

She didn't give a shit that they were talking in a cafe, she didn't mind if they wanted to be friends again - even though she had destroyed Matt, and Y/N was the one to put him together again -, it was something else that bothered her.

Matt had lied to her. He said he was going to film. What the fuck was he doing out with Amanda?

But the truth was right there, raw and painful: Matt would never be fully hers. No matter how hard she tried, no matter how much she sacrificed, he would always be stuck in the past in the love he had for Amanda. He would always go back to her.

Y/N took a deep breath, forcing a smile as the manicurist applied red nail polish to her nails on her left hand. The color perfectly matched the feelings she felt at that moment; dark.

Every move by the salon professionals seemed like a desperate attempt to beautify her for someone who would never see her true beauty. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't stop her mind from going back to that image of Matt smiling with Amanda. It was a smile she could never get out of him.

"You look amazing, Y/N!" Cintia, the girl's hairdresser for years now, praised excitedly, straightening the last strands of hair just finished and turning the chair so that Y/N could see herself in the mirror. "Matt will love it."

Y/N looked at her reflection, but all she saw was an improved version of herself that, despite all her effort, would never be enough for Matt. She would always be just a shadow, a pale substitute.

"Thank you..." The girl tried to say, but her voice came out hoarse, almost a whisper, fighting to keep the tears at bay.

The room around her seemed like a golden prison, full of mirrors that only reflected her internal pain. Every compliment, every word of encouragement, sounded hollow, meaningless, because the person whose opinion mattered most was, at that very moment, laughing and smiling with another woman; the woman he truly loved.

When Y/N finally left the salon, she felt exhausted, as if she had run an emotional marathon. She walked slowly to her home, opting not to call an Uber.

Her hands fished her phone out of her half-open purse, and, with trembling fingers decorated in red, she sent a text to Diana, her best friend.

"Diana, are you home? Can I sleep there tonight?"

As she waited for the answer, her mind wandered through a whirlwind of thoughts. The pain was constant but mixed with a new resolve.

She needed to get out of there. She needed space to breathe, to think.

"Of course, babes!"

　　　　　༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

Getting home was an automatic process. The house she shared with the triplets seemed colder and more hostile than ever.

Y/N walked past the living room where Chris and Nick were sprawled awkwardly on the gray couch playing video games, their excited laughter, and screams a cruel contrast to the pain she felt.

"Y/N!" Nick smiled brightly when he saw his best friend out of the corner of his eye. "Want to play a round with us?"

"No thanks, Nick. I'm tired." She murmured, smiling wide and fake - even though he wasn't looking at her directly -, trying to appear normal.

She walked slowly down the path between the living room and kitchen, each step a reminder of what she was about to do.

Her hands worked automatically on the door, entering her shared room with Matt, closing it behind her, the sound of the lock clicking echoing like a period in her mind. She looked around, taking in the details that made the space a home - the photos on the wall, the personal items, the memories. But now, it all felt empty.

She grabbed a suitcase stored at the back of their shared closet and began filling it with her necessities. The simple act of opening the suitcase caused a wave of despair to hit her.

Every piece of clothing and every object that her hands roughly touched and threw blindly into the suitcase was a small stab in her heart. The tears finally started to stream down her face, and she didn't try to stop them. Reality was imposing itself in a cruel way.

Her movements became slower and slower, while her thoughts became more chaotic.

"I'll never be enough for him."

"I'll never be her."

"He'll never love me the way I love him."

"I'm destroying myself for someone who cares little about me."

"What did I do wrong?"

These thoughts repeated like a cruel mantra in her mind. She felt her breathing quicken. Her lungs seemed unable to take in enough air. The room, which had always been a refuge, now felt like an oppressive cell. Panic began to set in. Her chest felt tight, her hands shook, and the air seemed to escape.

The tears flowed like hot, relentless waterfalls. The suitcase was open in front of her, half full, but it seemed like an insurmountable abyss. Y/N tried to take a deep breath, but each attempt only resulted in more despair.

The sobs came strong and uncontrollable. The girl stopped in front of the bed, standing, after throwing the last piece taken by her hands, bending her upper body over the suitcase, gripping the edge of the thick fabric with such strength that it made her fingers take on a whitish color, fully throwing her weight on her arms as if they were a lifeboat in the middle of a storm.

"Why am I not good enough?"

"What is wrong with me?"

"Why can’t he love me?"

She felt completely alone, drowning in her own pain. The panic attack took over, stealing any trace of control she still had.

The walls of the room seemed to close in on Y/N, the contours of the furniture becoming indistinct and threatening as her breathing became increasingly rapid and shallow. Her heart hammered in her chest with an almost painful force, each beat ringing in her ears like deafening thunder. The air felt thick, sticky, and impossible to inhale properly.

"Am I really that hard to be loved?"

"I wish I was her."

"He was never mine, right?"

Her hands shook uncontrollably, her fingers tingling over her suitcase as a feeling of numbness spread through her arms. Sweat dripped down her forehead, leaving her feeling sticky and uncomfortable, while the cold began to spread throughout her body, generating incessant chills.

Her vision blurred, the edges of the room distorting into restless shadows that danced and pulsed, transforming the room into a place strangely familiar and frighteningly alien at the same time. Each sound seemed amplified and distant, the ones of laughter and the clicks of long and simple kisses played in memories in her head like a record player at its highest volume, creating a surreal echo that only intensified the feeling of isolation and despair.

Exhausted, Y/N let herself sink to the floor, her sobs echoing in the empty room, an expression of the pain and loneliness that she felt suffocating herself relentlessly. Her legs folded in front of her body, the front of her thighs sticking firmly against her stomach as her arms served as a shield for her head, her hands involuntarily going up to her own hair, gripping the strands tightly, trying to ground herself.

Meanwhile, Nick ran towards her and Matt's room with quick, excited steps. He had just finished the last round of his video game with Chris and was looking forward to seeing the outcome of Y/N's salon day, hoping it would make her happier after noticing the inconsistency in her voice when she got home.

His closed fist lightly knocked on the door before opening it, the smile on his face instantly disappearing as his eyes met the scene before him.

Y/N was on the floor, curled up in a fetal position, her hands now grabbing her arms in a desperate hug. Her face was wet with tears, her eyes wide and fixed on a distant, indistinct point. Her breathing was ragged, labored, as if she were trying to pull air through a narrow, clogged straw. The sound of her panting was interspersed with heavy sobs, creating a symphony of anguish that made Nick's heart tighten in his chest.

"Y/N!" Nick called, his voice thick with panic. But to Y/N, his words were like distant whispers, drowned out by the deafening noise of her own frantically beating heart.

Her mind was in a whirlwind of chaotic, disorganized thoughts, each competing for attention and increasing the feeling of panic. She felt trapped in an endless cycle of terror, unable to escape the downward spiral that consumed her.

The feeling of suffocation was overwhelming, as if an invisible weight was pressing down on her chest, making every desperate attempt to breathe difficult. The seconds seemed to stretch into a torturous eternity, each second carrying a new wave of fear and despair.

Nick ran up to her, the panic on his face intensifying by the second. He knelt beside Y/N, trying to find a way to reach her, to bring her back from that abyss of despair. His hands shook as he gently pulled her close, enveloping her in a tight, protective hug.

"I’m here, Y/N, I’m here." He repeated, his voice choked with emotion, praying to whatever was watching them to make her listen to him. But she didn't seem to be able to do it, lost in her own spiral of panic.

Nick closed his eyes for a moment, fighting to stay calm. He knew he needed to be strong for her, and he needed to find a way to calm her.

"Y/N, look at me, please." He pleaded, voice softer, trying to break the invisible barrier that kept her trapped in her own fear. The brunette held her face with his hands, forcing her to look into his eyes. "Breathe with me, okay? Breathe slowly."

He began to breathe deeply, exaggerating his movements so she could follow. He breathed in slowly and deeply through his nose, holding it for a moment before slowly exhaling through his mouth. He felt Y/N tremble in his arms, but he kept pace, trying to convey calmness through each breath.

"That's it, keep going, you can do it." Nick encouraged, feeling a small change in her breathing. Her panting began to synchronize with his, although it was still irregular. He continued to whisper words of comfort, repeating that he was there, that she wasn't alone.

Slowly, very slowly, he felt the stiffness in her body begin to ease. Y/N's breathing became a little steadier, although she was still shaking. Nick kept the hug tight, feeling her heart beat against his own chest. He knew she was still scared, still trapped in her mind, but she was starting to come back.

"You're safe, Y/N. I'm here." Nick said once again, his voice firm and reassuring. He didn't let go of her face, maintaining eye contact, grounding her to reality. "Let's get through this together, okay?"

Finally, after several minutes that felt like hours, Y/N began to breathe in a more controlled manner. Her sobs subsided, and her eyes, once wide with terror, began to focus on Nick's. Her blurred vision cleared a little, the walls of the room seeming less threatening.

Nick sighed in relief, still holding her tightly, feeling the tension gradually ease in her muscles.

His own heart was still beating fast, but now, for a different reason. He looked around, trying to understand the situation better, when his blue orbs stopped on the open suitcase above the bed. The sight of the packed suitcase made his heart sink. Confusion and fear settled in his chest. What was happening? Why was she packing her things? The thought of Y/N leaving caused him his own panic, an intense worry that he tried to suppress, deciding that the questions could wait.

With a conscious effort, he looked away from the suitcase and focused on the immediate task of taking care of Y/N. He stood up slowly, maintaining eye contact to ensure she didn't feel abandoned for even a moment. The boy grabbed the pink bottle of water from the bedside table on her side of the bed and quickly returned, sitting next to her on the cold floor again. The hard ground beneath him was a sharp contrast to the softness of concern he felt for Y/N.

"Here, drink some water." He asked softly, handing Y/N the bottle.

The fragile girl took the bottle with hands that were still shaking but managed to open the cap and take a few small sips, each one firmer than the last. Nick watched her every move, his mind still spinning around the suitcase. The silence in the room was heavy, filled with unspoken words and unasked questions. He waited patiently, without pressing, standing by her side like a pillar of support.

After long seconds of silence, Y/N took a deep breath, her gaze shifting from the bottle to the suitcase on the bed. She knew she needed to explain. Nick deserved to know what was going on, especially after helping her get through that panic attack. She straightened up a little, trying to find the strength to speak.

"Nick..." She began, her voice still trembling. "I... I'm packing because I need to get out of here for a while. I can't stay here any longer, the way things are between me and..." Her voice trailed off into the air before she could mention the name of the boy she loved most in the world.

Nick felt a lump form in his throat, but he remained calm, waiting for her to continue. Y/N took another sip of water before continuing, her words coming out in a halting, painful stream.

"I saw Matt with Amanda today, you know? They were together, and he looked so happy… happier than I've ever seen him with me." Her voice cracked again, but she took a deep breath and continued. "It made me realize that no matter how much I love him, he will never love me the same way. And I can't keep destroying myself like this. So, I'm going to spend the night at Diana's house. I need some time to think, to calm down. Get away from here. Get away from him. And maybe make him miss me... Or finally notice that I'm not what he wants." The last part came out in a broken whisper, her gaze lowering to her crossed legs.

Nick felt a wave of relief upon hearing that she wasn't leaving his life forever, but the worry and sadness over her situation still weighed heavily on him. He wanted to say something, anything to ease her pain, but the words seemed inadequate. Instead, he just nodded, offering silent support.

"And please, Nick, don't tell Matt anything yet." Y/N asked, her eyes pleading. "I need a little time to understand what I'm going to do. He really hurt me, but I can't act on impulse."

Nick held her hand firmly, offering her an expression of understanding and support.

"Of course, Y/N. I won't tell him. I promise." He murmured sincerely. "You can have all the time you need. And I'm here for you, no matter what. I love my little brother, but I won't defend him when he's in the wrong end. You deserve someone who sees you for who you are, Y/N. Someone who loves you completely, without shadows of the past."

They sat there for a few more minutes, sharing that moment of stillness and understanding. The cold of the ground seemed less intense with each other's comforting presence.

Eventually, Y/N stood up, with Nick helping her place her suitcase on the floor. She took one last look at the room she had shared with Matt, pain visible in her eyes but also a growing determination. She knew she needed to step away to heal, to find her own strength again.

"Let's go." Nick's voice woke her from her reverie, his hands picking up her suitcase and walking it to the door. "I'll uber you to Diana's house."

　　　　　༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

Matt returned home with a beaming smile on his face, his heart still racing with the joy of the friendly encounter he had had. He had spent the afternoon with Amanda, talking and laughing like old times, and the feeling of familiarity and happiness was undeniable.

The boy climbed the stairs of the house with quick steps, eager to see Y/N and share his good mood with her. He wanted to hold her close on their bed, bury his nose in the curve of her neck, and smell her soft and natural perfume as he told her about his day.

But when he opened the bedroom door, a strange feeling of tension in the air made him stop. The environment felt different, as if something had changed, but he couldn't identify what it was. He entered the space, leaving the door open behind him, turning his body and letting his eyes roam the four walls, trying to find what was wrong. Nothing seemed out of place at first glance: the bed was made, his clothes were in the same place, the books were on the shelf, and the computer was on the computer desk. But there was an absence he still couldn't understand.

It was when he opened the closet that reality began to form in his mind. Y/N's side was almost empty. Where her dresses, skirts, and t-shirts once hung, now there were just a few lonely hangers. The empty space where her suitcase sat now felt like a black hole, sucking in all the light and joy he had felt moments before.

Matt felt his heart stop for a second, a feeling of panic starting to take over his chest.

"Y/N? Hey, baby? Are you cleaning out the closet by any chance?" Matt's broken voice sounded through the room in an echo, seeming to escape out the door and travel the entire floor of the house, his blue eyes still fixed on the empty hangers as his mind created the expectation of hearing the sweet, melodious voice back.

But nothing came.

Nick appeared silently in the doorway, watching his younger brother with a serious expression. Matt was so absorbed in his desperate search for answers that he didn't notice Nick's presence until he heard his voice.

"She left."

Matt turned abruptly, his wide, confused eyes meeting Nick's. The older triplet's expression was one of deep sadness, mixed with calm determination. Matt felt a wave of despair rise up inside him, like an overwhelming tide ready to swallow him.

"What do you mean 'she left'?" Matt asked, his voice trembling accompanied by an expression of terror. "Where- Where did she go?"

Nick sighed, taking a step forward, eyes shining with suppressed anger.

"That doesn't matter now. What matters is that you need to decide what you really want, Matt. She saw you with Amanda today, you know?"

Matt felt the ground disappear beneath his feet. He looked around the room again, this time with a clear understanding of what was missing. Y/N, the constant, loving presence in his life, was gone.

"I don't understand..." Matt muttered almost to himself. "I thought we were fine."

"Only you saw this. Seeing you with Amanda was the last straw for her. She loves you, she really does, but she can't keep living like this, Matt, not when she knows that you still have feelings for your ex." Nick scoffed, a disgusted tone echoing with his words, shaking his head and rolling his eyes in suppressed anger. "And you can't continue like this, dividing your attention between Y/N and Amanda. This is destroying Y/N, and you don't even realize it."

"But I... I was just trying to be friends with Amanda again. I don't have feelings for her anymore." Matt spluttered, confusion and guilt beginning to mix in his chest.

"Then why do you keep seeing her?" Nick countered, with no softness in his words. "Y/N loves you, Matt. She loves you so much that she is destroying herself because you don't treat her like you should. She needs you, and you're here, acting like nothing's wrong. And if you continue like this, you will permanently lose the only girl who has truly stuck by your side through thick and thin."

Matt felt a lump tighten in his throat. He tried to speak, but words failed him. The image of Y/N, the woman he loved, suffering in silence because of her insensitivity, was unbearable.

He felt foolish and insensitive. How had he not realized how much Y/N ​​was suffering? All he wanted was to be able to hug her now, tell her that he loved her, and that she was the only person that mattered. But at that moment, he realized how late those words could be.

"I didn't cheat on her, Nick. I really was with Amanda, but I didn't… I didn't do anything wrong." Matt's voice sounded choked, tears beginning to well up in his eyes as anxiety rose through his body like rafters.

"You think you didn't, Matt. But sometimes, it's not about what you do but about how you make the other person feel. And honestly? Giving priority to your ex, the girl who broke you and made you suffer for days on end, over Y/N, who you say you love oh so much, is low blow. Right now, Y/N needs space to breathe to understand her own feelings. And you need to truly analyze what you did and recant with her when she is ready."

Matt walked with shaky steps towards the double bed, sinking onto the edge of the mattress, burying his face in his hands. The weight of guilt and regret was crushing. All he could think about was how he wanted to turn back in time, do things differently, show Y/N that she was the center of his world. Never have lunch with Amanda.

"I need to talk to her." Matt tightened his fingers around the brown strands of her hair, sniffling. "I need to tell her that I'm sorry, that I love her. I really do, Nick."

"I know. But give her a little time, Matt. Forcing a conversation now might make things worse. Let her process everything, and then you can try talking to her." Nick advised, watching him closely before he turned, walking towards the door. "And next time, treat her like the wonderful woman she is, not like a replacement."

Matt nodded slowly, begrudgingly, knowing his brother was right, the despair turning into a silent, constant pain. The room around him, which had once been a haven of love and shared memories, now seemed like an empty, desolate space. The mattress beneath his body, where both of their bodies lay together just the day before, now felt like an icy surface, sending horrible shivers through his body.

His mind betrayed him by making him remember the moments when he had treated Y/N with indifference and neglect, moments that he now saw with painful clarity. Each memory was like a stab to the heart, revealing the depth of his callousness. Y/N's smiles that he had taken for granted, the nights she waited up for him while he lost himself in thoughts of the past, the comparisons...

He could now see the small changes in her expression, the way her eyes sparkled less, how her smile became rarer with each passing day. She was withdrawing, and he was blindly contributing to that withdrawal.

Sitting there, now alone in the room, Matt felt the weight of his own guilt and regret. He realized that he had never made Y/N feel like the most important woman in her life. Instead, he had relegated her to the background, allowing the shadows of his former relationship to contaminate the present. Y/N's love and dedication towards him contrasted painfully with his own indifference.

taglist:

@lustfulslxt @ladybunny44 @worldlxvlys @earth2starkey @remussbitch @freshloveforthefit @sturniolowhore @luvr4miya @alorsxsturn @urfavgirllyyyyy @hearts4chriss @cupidzsq @dracoflaco @junnniiieee07 @lightsgore @gidgett11037 @ksskianshd @soimightlikeoldmen69 @ldr-sl0t @breeloveschris @its-jennarose @sainzzsturns @ecliphttlunar @soso-scarlettolivia @bitchydragonparadise @freshsturns @h3arts4harry @patscorner @strnilolo @bernardsbendystraws @mattsneezing @poetatorturadaa @meg-sturniolo @orangeypepsi @jnkvivi @meg-sturniolo @fratbrochrisgf @elordilover @somegirlfromasgard @hpyjw @annamcdonalds67 @slutsformatt @chrissturnsss @l34n @iammattswife @selenascorner

(If you want to be added to the taglist, go to this post)

[maxlarens]

hi lilli!! i heard angst and i came running, how about searching for each other in crowded rooms, finding each other everywhere with logan or oscar, whoever sparks the most inspo, but plot twist—not being able to be together for some reason (the why is totally up to you, feel free to ignore if this isn't your cup of tea). thank u thank u <3

kait!!! hello!!! thank u for sending this in!!! im gonna do oscar 😁 it genuinely hurt my feelings SO BADLY to not have them make up at the end of this. so i sympathise with everyone that im about to make sad it was a bad time for me too❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

It's familiar, this feeling.

The squeeze of your chest, the grieving, panicking thing climbing up your throat. You've been feeling it a lot lately, every time you catch a glimpse of someone with hair the same colour as Oscar's; wearing clothes you swear that he has; a person with the same shoulders, the same gait.

You've been seeing him everywhere. You just think you have. Monaco is small… not that small apparently.

When it had first happened, at the beginning of summer break, you’d half expected to be back together within a week. For Oscar to message you and half-beg to talk to you again. In your dreams, you’d both come grovelling back to each other, apologising for cruel words, making amends for various mistakes. Then you would kiss him and you’d tell him how much you love him and things would get better.

Instead, you’ve spent weeks of your summer break totally and utterly miserable. Missing Oscar like a phantom limb. You reach for him, he’s not there. You go to text him, find a thread of messages discussing the logistics of returning the other’s belongings.

You sit in your flat and you watch the Lord of the Rings trilogy twice in a row twenty two hours and forty-four minutes because it doesn’t remind you of Oscar and it occupies your time in a way nothing else can right now. You cry until your eyes are puffy and you write in a diary you’ve never touched before, because it needs to go somewhere. The feeling stuck in your throat needs to be written down said out loud and you can’t say it to Oscar, who you would usually tell everything, because he needs “distance from you right now”.

Briefly, you convince yourself that “right now”, indicates that there still might be a later for the two of you. That this thing between you that’s fallen to pieces might one day be salvaged. In the quiet moments of Lord of the Rings you spiral down a rabbit hole of ways to get Oscar back, pathetic fantasies of how you might convince him to talk to you again. Then Arwen says, “I would rather share one lifetime with you than face all the ages of this world alone” and you cry for two hours straight.

You sob, your face in your pillow and you think that was supposed to me! That was supposed to be us! And maybe it wasn’t, maybe you’re not an elven maiden giving up her immortality for a mere man, but you love Oscar. You wanted to spend the rest of your life with Oscar. And now… now…

Well—

It is the waiting that’s the worst.

No texts, no calls. Lando sends you a few, but you can’t bear to hold a conversation with him, knowing he’s playing both sides. And anyway, you’re just thinking about Oscar. Is he there? Is he reading your texts? Seeing the pathetic selfies of you on your couch in days-old PJs? Is he staring at your stagnant text thread just like you are? Has he blocked you?

Your every waking thought is consumed by him. You drag yourself out of the apartment for coffee down the street and you wonder what he’s doing. Has he been rotting at home like you? More than likely he’s been doing things. Playing padel with Lando, going out for lunch, training at the gym, FaceTiming his family.

You feel sick to you stomach. You can list on one hand the activities that you’ve done since Oscar broke up with you at the beginning of the month:

Sleeping, crying, watching Lord of the Rings, ordering takeout, training because you have to. Going for coffee had been a big step out of your current comfort zone. You’re wearing pants that aren’t sweatpants… you’d even showered properly for fuckssake.

You got your most noise-cancelling headphones on, blasting sad Taylor Swift (who you don’t even like. It’s just something to fill the void) and staring down the barista so you can lip-read if they’re saying your name or the words Large Oat Latte. And then—

Then. The barista is mouthing Oscar and your stomach lurches as the exact object of your ire temporary depression walks to the counter. You try to convince yourself it’s not him, you keep seeing him places but it’s never really him. But it is, that’s his burgundy shirt, his swoop of hair, his knobbly little ankles.

You release a ragged breath that you hope isn’t too loud. You duck your head, try to avoid his gaze as he turns, pretending that you haven’t seen him. Try to look occupied by your phone though you’ve only had time to open to your home screen. Tears prick at the corners of your eyes, you blink furiously, trying your best not to fall apart in this coffee shop.

At least he’s not with someone else, you think as a tightness crawls up your throat to settle at the base of your tongue. But he looks happy, he looks fine, he looks better than you feel right now. God, what if he’s better off without you? What does it mean that you don’t seem to better off without him?

There’s something wet sliding down your left cheek and then you see Nike trainers entering your vision, still directed firmly downward. Someone puts a hand on your shoulder— you don’t jump but it’s a near thing. You reach up to slip your headphones off, wiping the tear discreetly as you go. Then you look up and it’s him, it’s Oscar.

He’s holding out a paper cup labeled, Oat Latte and smiling at you tightly.

“They were calling your name,” he says by way of explanation.

“Right,” your voice is shaky, weak, “Thanks.”

He nods, you take the coffee, careful not to touch his hand. You’re trying to swallow down the lump in your throat that’s rising rising trying to claw its way out of your mouth. You blink away the tears filling the corners of your eyes. You can’t look at him.

You’re looking up at the ceiling instead, biting the inside of your mouth. Breathing in and out, in and out.

He says your name, and then, “Do you want to talk?”

You feel like a tonne of bricks has just hit your chest. Knocking the wind out of you. Tears, hot and wet, are slipping down your cheeks. You can’t speak, you turn around and leave the coffee shop without saying anything because surely you’ll just start crying if you open your mouth. Oscar finds you again across the road, in a dark cobbled alleyway. The heel of your hand is pressed to the middle of your chest, you’re hiccuping, trying to stifle heavy sobs that you’d much prefer to let out in the privacy of your own apartment.

“Hey,” he says, gathering you into his arms before you can push him away, “It’s okay.”

You whine, collapsing into his chest, face pressing into his shoulder, “No, it’s not.”

You cry loudly, trying fruitlessly to keep the sobs in. Oscar’s hand rubs comforting circles into your back, which makes it better until you realise it’s Oscar, which makes it immediately worse. You stay there a while. Until your eyes are puffy and your throat sore.

“Better?”, Oscar asks, the crease between his eyebrows prominent.

You sigh tiredly, shrug, “Sure.”

Your coffee is cold now, your chest feels void, hollow.

You shake your head before Oscar can say anything further, before you’re set off on another fucking pathetic crying fit in the arms of your ex-boyfriend, “I can’t talk, Oscar. I really can’t.”

“Okay,” he says, nodding and swallowing some lump in his own throat.

You bite down hard on your tongue. Turn to leave the dark alley to go home, your back prickling with Oscar’s wet brown-eyed stare on you. He lets you leave. You spend the ten minute walk wiping tears before they fall and itching to run back, to kiss him, to pour all the emotion in your chest into some physical action.

There’s an awful grieving ache in your chest that’s carving out your insides and when you check your phone after walking in the door there’s a text from Oscar that reads:

I miss you. I’d really like to talk to you soon.

not sure if it was weird but the lord of the rings Mentions were kinda about how you’re in such a fragile state during a breakup that something as irrelevant to your break up at lord of the rings will make you cry for hours for no real reason. (and not to expose myself but after a break up i did watch the lotr trilogy two times in a row. told my friends and got a text from one of them asking if i was depressed 😭 like yes… temporarily alright)

send me a prompt/req + driver and i'll write something. pls check if my requests are open first 💖

[captainreecejames]

Just Friends || MV1 Oneshot

part of the my ex is a footballer series [masterlist] [my ex series masterlist] [max smau]

pairings max verstappen x reader with some ex!ben chilwell x reader in the smau part, danielle campbell is the faceclaim but reader is not described in this part so imagine however

word count 5.2k

warnings talks about depression, injuries and blood dealing with hands, hospitals and medical stuff, mentions of jos verstappen, cursing, angst and fluff, not proofread so probably shitty writing and mistakes

notes this took longer than I initially imagined because i was stuck on how to get it started, but after a good nights sleep and words of encouragement from @coff33andb00ks I got this puppy started. This fic includes Adrian Newey as the point red bull person so I could avoid horner and max as an almost dog dad because I'm a dog person. It starts in the middle of the 2022 season and goes through the 2023 season. If there is enough interest, I might continue to write these two together because I really enjoyed it and there is more to explore.

songs to listen to while reading you're losing me-taylor swift / so long, london-taylor swift / same mistakes-one direction / lose you to love me-selena gomez

You met Max on accident, according to you. When you talked to your father about it years later, you would learn it was no accident. 

><

He was golfing with Adrian Newey and more coworkers but had forgotten his wallet, so he asked you to drop it off.

Now you knew he worked at Red Bull, so really it shouldn’t have come as a surprise that you would eventually meet Max Verstappen, but you walked into the country club expecting to meet some older man, not the reigning Formula 1 world champion. 

How'd Max know who to approach? Your father had shown him a picture of you so he would know who to look for. While you were searching the lobby, Max had come up to you, saying your name.

You had plenty of experience meeting famous people, even one’s who knew your name before meeting (perks of dating a football star) but it was still a shock. 

The meeting consisted of shy words and you fumbling around your bag for your father’s wallet and that’s it. No matter how much experience you had with famous athletes, it would still be weird meeting them. You wouldn’t see Max again for a few weeks, he was busy with races and staying in Monaco.

The next time would be at the base, once again you were dropping something off for your dad. This time it was lunch that he just insisted he needed, not whatever was being served in the cafe that day. 

You stood in the lobby, waiting for your father to get out of a meeting, admiring the trophies on display when Max came up to you. 

He will argue in the future that you admiring his trophies made him interested, and that he wasn’t over a little bragging if it got the attention of a pretty girl. That argument ignores the scheming that your father and Adrian had done, from complaining about your lack of interest in the sport to complaining about you needing to get out more. (Your lack of interest in the sport wasn’t true, just that you preferred Ferrari over the local team.)

So with the subliminal messaging from your father, Max was interested in you.

“I thought you didn’t really like the sport,” he said coming to stand at your side. 

You jumped slightly, not expecting anyone to approach you. “Why would you think that?”

“Your father.” You turn to him with a confused face and Max decided to clarify. “He talks about you a lot.”

“Oh, well, I wouldn’t listen to half of what he says.”

“Really? Even when he talks about the chassis?” His words are teasing and you think he’s flirting with you.

“Maybe that you can listen to.” You shrug, turning back to the cabinet. “He’s really just jealous that I prefer Ferrari.” 

Of fucking course, the Italian team. “A fan of Leclerc?” You can hear the bitterness in his voice and it shocks you a little how quickly he changes his mood.

“He’s okay,” you shrug again. Max thinks that your nonchalantness is annoying, why can’t you just admit you find Charles hot and move on.

(Hidden in the stairwell, Adrian and your father are a little nervous. They can tell that this isn’t going as well as hoped.)

“Schumacher has been my favorite, but I think of the current drivers its Vettel.” Now Max realizes that the two of you are standing in front of Sebastian’s 2010 championship trophy, and he feels a little embarrassed he didn’t realize sooner. “I’m a little bitter he didn’t win the championship with Ferrari.”

There are more “chance” meetings, but the conversation flows much easier now. Like the dinner at Adrian Newey’s house and after, when he has to give you a ride back to your new place because your parents don’t want to leave yet. Or the time when it’s suggested that you give him a ride to Luton airport because it’s on your way to London. Or even the holiday party at the end of the year where he has to give you a ride again because you’re tipsy and shouldn’t drive. 

It’s the airport drive when you both realize that you’re being set up by Adrian and your father, which causes a lot of awkwardness between the both of you during your goodbyes.

You go back home a few days later and scold your father for the set up. You don’t need another relationship right now, you tell him. He says he knows, but Max makes you happy in a way he hasn’t seen in years and that makes him happy. Your mother reminds him that you need to be happy without a man first and he says he’ll give up the endeavors to push you on to Max. If Adrian happens to come up with any more ideas that's not his fault, the man is a genius afterall.

The holiday party is more of an accident than anything, your father and mother leave much earlier than you, and so you are stuck with Max to drive you home.

He complained about the hotel he was staying at, so you offer him some time in your apartment to get away from fancy places and he takes you up on it. And now that you're home, it does’t seem like a bad idea to have another drink, just to take the edge off of having Max in your place. 

“Would you like another drink?” you offer while making your own gin and tonic. He stares around at the quiet kitchen, taking in the place that feels very you. “Or perhaps some tea?” He shakes his head no, eyes catching a picture of you hugging Ben. It’s an old picture, from when Leicester City won the league and you’ve only recently dug it out of the box it was sitting in. 

“I thought you were single,” he says, picking up the picture to examine it closer.

“I am,” you answer, turning around from the counter to look at him. You’re about to ask him where the question came from when you see what’s in his hands. “That’s from 2016, when Leicester City won the league.” Max nods like he understands, but he doesn’t.

“Who’s this?” he points to Ben.

“Ben Chilwell.” Maybe if you’re just vague enough, he’ll drop it. He doesn’t.

“Okay,” he draws it out. “Who is he to you?”

Not much of anything anymore, is what you want to say. You settle for something vague again. “A friend.”

“Looks like more than a friend.” Is Max trying to provoke you or something? He can tell you’re growing frustrated with him and it makes him feel guilty. “Sorry, I just, don’t know much about your life before here.”

You sigh, deciding that alcohol probably isn’t the best drink for now. You move to the kettle next to the stove, opting for tea to help calm you down. 

“Ben and I dated until a couple months ago, I moved back home right after we broke up.” He nods along with your story and you continue the tea making process. “Ben and I were childhood sweethearts, together since we were like 14 years old. So that makes,” it takes you a minute to do the math in your head, “12 years together.” You don’t turn to see what Max’s face looks like. A lot of people during your relationship with Ben were in awe of how long you were together, but there were some who thought it was silly and childish. Who stayed with someone they were dating since 14? (Apparently not you.)

You thought it was romantic up until a few months before the break up. Childhood sweethearts, best friends to lovers, boy next door, all tropes you loved in books and you were living it in real life! Until it wasn’t. Until you moved in the middle of a pandemic to a new city with no support system and became depressed. Until Ben needed support you and you couldn’t make yourself see that giving him everything was leaving you with nothing. 

It took an intervention from your parents to see that you were depressed, and an offhand comment about marriage from Ben to see that the relationship wouldn’t go anywhere new.

“What happened?”

“He didn’t want to marry me.”

><

“I’m just not sure I’m want to marry her, yet,” Ben says to the group. There’s a pause before he says yet, like someone made a face and he’s trying to placate them.

What the fuck? you want to ask. You want to scream it, really, because what the fuck does he mean by that? You’ve been together for over ten years, he’s said since Leicester that he only wants you, for the rest of his life. And now... now he doesn’t know? How the fuck do you not know? How can he not know? It makes you angry, the most emotion you’ve felt in probably months and it’s anger at your boyfriend.

Your grip on your glass is tightening, turning your knuckles white with the force and you worry the glass will shatter in your hand.

It does, but you don’t feel it. You don’t hear the glass shattering in your hand or on the floor, don't feel the splash of ice, gin, and tonic on your legs.

What you feel is something akin to clarity, because you’ve been living in a fog for months, probably the two years you’ve been in London and now you know how Ben feels. If he doesn’t want to marry you now, he probably won’t ever want it.

It takes your friend coming over and putting a hand on your shoulder for you to realize that something is physically wrong. That your hand is bleeding from glass cuts and you’re standing in a puddle of water and alcohol and some blood.

Emma says your name a little louder to grab your attention and now people are staring at you, wondering what’s caused the glass to shatter in your hand. She ignores them, pulling you across the room so she can take care of you.

Unfortunately, the glass is too deep and you have to be taken to an emergency room, where the nurses and doctors fuss over your hand. They ask you questions about how it happened, you explain that a glass shattered in your hands. They're suspicion is eased when Emma corroborates your story. It's soon after that you're allowed to go home.

All this time, Ben hasn’t come running into the room desperate to find you, and that reminds you why you’re here in the first place. Because Ben isn’t sure he wants to marry you.

><

“That’s how you got the scars on your hand?” Max is gentle when he takes your hand in his, holding it so delicately like you might break. You nod, but don’t pull away from him. His touch is soft and it makes you feel something you haven’t felt in a while. His hand turns so you can see the own scar on his hand. “I got this one from Jimmy, my cat.” He lets you run a finger over the scratch on the back of his hand. You run your hand over it one more time and Max get’s goosebumps from your touch.

You look up at him from your hands, your eyes roaming his face and seeing how sincere he is. It makes you nervous. 

You pull your hands back, stepping away to grab a mug for your tea and busy your hands with something besides his own.

Max can see you close off on him, but the story isn’t over yet. “What happened after the hospital?”

><

“Are you going to tell me why this happened?” Emma asks finally, walking with you out of the ED. She’s stayed the whole time, occasionally popping out to call your other friends and update them on the situation. 

It’s on the tip of your tongue to tell her, but you know what she’ll say: 'break up with him already, it’s not going anywhere and you’re obviously hurting over this. '

It’s not what you want to hear, you love Ben so much because you’ve always loved him, he’s all you’ve ever known and it used to be so good, so you know it can go back to being good.

It has to. You need it to. 

So you try to laugh it off, say that your grip is much stronger than you thought and that there must have been a hairline fracture in the glass.

But Emma doesn’t buy it. She lets you try to joke your way out of this, lets you laugh uncomfortably as she stares at you, and then pulls you to a halt at the corner. Your uneasy smile falls and you sigh. You know better than to try and hide this from her. 

“Ben said something,” it’s a whisper, like the quieter you say it makes it hurt less. She waits for you to continue, knowing that you’ll explain if she doesn’t push too hard. You take a deep breath, hoping that the air will do something, anything to make it easier to say out loud. “He’s not sure if he wants to marry me.” You hold the pause like he did, adding the yet in a pointed tone. With how much Ben has hurt you, you still want to spare him the criticism. You love him.

Emma immediately goes off, like you know she would, so you tune it out. It’s nothing you haven’t heard in the last year. 

The traffic light turns green, and you begin your walk back to the carpark, looking around the spaces to find your friend's car.

“YN!” another voice shouts. It’s Ben. 

He’s jogging to you across the lot, eyes a little wide like he’s been panicking for a while. “Why didn’t you grab me before leaving?” He means to direct the question to Emma, but he’s looking at you and you feel like he’s blaming you. “I was looking for you across the house until someone finally told me that you left for the emergency department. I was worried sick.” He looks it, you think. He does care. He wouldn’t look like that if he didn’t care. “You weren’t answering your phone, and-“ he cuts himself off as he stares at your hand. “What the hell happened?”

Oh- he doesn’t know. 

“She heard you,” Emma answers. You want to stop her, explain for yourself so you can just go home and sleep.

“What?” Ben asks, confusion across his face for a second before he realizes. You heard him. You heard him. “You weren’t meant to hear that.”

That’s his excuse?

“That’s your excuse?” Emma takes the words from of your mouth, but not the anger from your body, you clench your bandaged hand, wincing when it pulls at the stitches. Ben is still looking at you, but you’re unable to read him. “She wasn’t meant to fucking hear that?” Her voice is shrill and it grates on you because of a headache, but you know she means well. “You know what, fuck you Ben Chilwell! Go fucking rot in ditch!” With that she pulls you away from him, rushing the two of you towards her car so she can drive you to her home.

><

“That’s his excuse?” Max’s tone is just like Emma’s on that night and still you want to defend Ben. Your relationship is long over with the footballer, but that doesn’t mean you don’t love him. 

“I was a mess then,” you tell him, pouring your water into the cup, “I wouldn’t want to marry me either.”

“But he loved you, and you don’t say something like that about someone you love.” Max looks angry next to you, and that scares you even more. Not because of his anger, but because he clearly cares so much and you’re not sure if you deserve it. 

“Listen to me,” Max grabs your arms, pulling you to face him in your small kitchen. “Friends, boyfriends, people who love you-“ (Do his hands squeeze you harder on friends or boyfriends?) “They don’t talk about you like that behind your back. And also they notice when you’re gone, when you’re hurt, when you aren’t’ yourself.”

“But he was also hurting,” there are tears in your eyes from his words because you believe them, but also you still love Ben.

“And so were you, clearly. Yet you could tell something was wrong with him and he couldn’t see it in you?” Max has known you for only a few months, and has spent even less time physically with you, but he sees you and the way your brain works so clearly and that’s really scary. He must see something in your eyes because then he backs off, taking a step away to put distance between your bodies and space to breathe.

“Sorry,” he apologizes, “I didn’t mean to get so intense.” You shake your head, trying to put away the thoughts of his beautiful blue eyes staring into your own. “Just sometimes, I really want people to know that they deserve better.”

“No, it’s okay.” You pull the tea bag out of the water, looking down for the tiny plate to leave it on. “You’re not the first person to say that to me and you probably won’t be the last.” He nods, watching you spoon sugar into the tea. “But thank you for saying that, sometimes," you pause, "sometimes, it’s good to be reminded.”

><

Your friendship grows from there, but it doesn’t evolve into anything romantic. You’re clearly still healing from Ben and no matter how much he thinks about you while he’s in Monaco or off at a race, you need time.

So instead your flat becomes his base when he’s needed at the factory. He can leave clothes and toiletries at your place without worry, he can sneak a nice home cooked meal from you or your parents when he’s there, and he doesn’t have to deal with shitty hotel mattresses. (Even though it’s a Five Star hotel.)

He meets your friends when a girls night overlaps with some sim testing. They really like him and can see that his awkward charm has pulled you in.

You meet Danny Ric at the beginning of the 2023 season, when Red Bull decides to make him their reserve driver, and the two of you are like two peas in a pod. (On the plane back to Monaco Danny asks him when he’s finally going to ask you out.)

(Max shakes his head and tells him that you two are just friends, because that’s what you need. Just friends.)

Max invites you to the Monaco Grand Prix, but you decline, not interested in the media scrutiny that comes with that particular race. You say yes to the Spanish Grand Prix in Barcelona, but after he peaks at the invite list he tells you it’s probably not the best idea. You agree with him when you finally get him to tell you why you're uninvited. The Silverstone Grand Prix is during a girls trip, and with how busy it gets, you both drop the subject for a while. 

When Max clinches his third championship in Qatar you finally decide that you need to go to a race. The next one is in Texas, but it doesn’t work with your schedule so you get the passes for Mexico.

><

The Mexican Grand Prix is the perfect race to join. It’s Checo’s home race, so the focus is on him instead of Max. You stand to the back of the garage, hiding from view on Friday and Saturday. Occasionally you’ll talk with some engineers you’ve met before or share a few minutes with Adrian, but most of the time is in hiding Max’s drivers room with him. 

Most of Sunday is spent talking with the stars in the garage, explaining why you’re here and how you know people. You avoid any interviews with Sky Sports, knowing that somehow they’ll bring up Ben and Chelsea’s current run of form, something that you just can’t deal with. 

So you stay in the back of the garage, celebrate the podium in the back of the crowd and don’t wait up for Max to finish media duties, instead heading back to the hotel. It hurts to hide yourself away, you want to be the first to congratulate him on a win, or comfort him after a loss. But it’s for the best, you try convince yourself. You're just friends.

Max isn’t bitter about the decision at all. Being noticed at this race is a beacon to all fans that you are something to someone, and no matter how much he maybe wants that to be true, you’re just friends. Besides you have dinner with him and a few of the drivers and their own significant others, so really what more could he ask for?

After the season is over he’s back in Milton Keynes to finish up some things before heading out to start his holidays. Most of them will be spent with his family in Belgium or in Monaco, so he is determined to at least spend a day with you before leaving. He wasn’t planning on it being at a dog shelter.

><

“I think I want a dog,” you had told him while in Mexico. You’d spent a year alone in the flat (not counting Max practically moving in when he was needed at HQ) and things were too quiet for you. 

“Okay.” You were relaxing in his driver’s room before Free Practice 2. You’re both on the couch, him with an iPad going over some data and you with your feet up on his lap researching shelters on your phone. The domesticity of it all was frustrating.

“Are you allergic to dogs?” you ask. You know about Jimmy and Sassy back in Monaco, and he really doesn’t seem like dog person at all, but his opinion on this matters to you. His opinion on the most mundane and trivial things now matter to you. He doesn’t pay rent and so he doesn’t get the final say on anything, but if it makes life easier in Milton Keynes, you want to know what he thinks.

“No, I just prefer cats.” You nod, scrolling through the shelter’s website, looking at dogs and trying to decide which one looks like it needs love the most. “Lewis knows a lot about dogs, you can ask him about it.” It’s hard to get the sentence out, because Lewis having a say in something about your life just isn’t right. 

You shake your head no. “Lewis Hamilton doesn’t sleep in my spare bedroom.” It’s the same argument you make every time you suggest changing something in flat, and while it annoys him that you won’t take any money to pay for small stuff, it still makes him smile. 

“What do you think about this one?” you show him a picture of a Jack Russell Terrier, coincidentally named George. 

“If you get him you need to change his name.”

“Why?” You ask in fake offense. “I think he looks very much like a George.” But you move on anyway, terriers are too active for your lifestyle, you wouldn’t be able to give him the love he deserves. 

You keep on scrolling, feet still in his lap, him still looking through his iPad. You gasp suddenly, pushing yourself up and moving your legs so you can sit on them, much closer to Max. “Look!” you shove your screen in his face. “They just rescued a corgi with puppies! I love corgis!” He can see the excitement in your face and knows that he won’t ever say no to you if you look like that again. 

You pull your phone back, reading through the description quickly. “We are keeping Mama and puppies together for a few weeks to ensure health, puppies will be available for adoption in December. Please register interest.” You're pulling out your laptop to send an email when you're done.

Later that night, when you’re trying to sleep you admire how he let you rant about this dog that you’re getting. You love how he always indulges you on topics about your flat; you love that he’ll watch a shitty tv show with you and listen to you rant about the characters. You love that when you ask him questions about racing he answers with so much sincerity and interest that you can’t help but want to know more. You love so much about him that you think you might love him. 

No, you know you love him.

><

That’s how you got here, with Max at a shelter picking up a tiny corgi. Max has been carrying the collar and leash and necessary paperwork as you play with the small dog, contagious laughter falling from your lips.

“Think I should name him Charles, what do you think?” You look up from the ground, eyes so bright and happy. The smile on your face is teasing, but he misses the name because it hits him.

He’s in love with you.

He’s unable to answer you with his sudden realization, because the only words he can think of are “I love you” or long strings of curse words. 

You think he doesn’t like your joke and try to back track right away. “I’m kidding, obviously. I’m not gonna name him Charles.” Still Max only stares. “Is everything okay?” You stand up, still holding the puppy in your hands. “I promise I’m not going to name him Charles, but I’m sorry for the joke.” The puppy barks in your arms, snapping Max out of his trance. “What do you need, little one?” You ask the dog, momentarily forgetting Max’s presence. That’s what he needs, just a few seconds of you not looking at him to get his thoughts in line. He can’t be in love with you, because you don’t need a boyfriend. Just friends. 

Except he can be in love with you. Because you make him smile all the time, because you offered your spare bedroom to him so he didn’t have to deal with a shitty hotel mattress, because you send him pictures of cats you meet on the street, and let him over explain when you have questions about races. You deal with his mood swings when Jos contacts him. (It’s more than just dealing. You comfort and distract and do anything he needs.)

And maybe you do need just a friend still, but he can still love you.

It takes 20 minutes for you to finish up the paperwork for the shelter, which Max spends playing with the dog and he decides maybe he could be a your dog person. 

The ride back to your place is short, your minds replaying the same moment when you asked him what you should name the little puppy sleeping in the back. You feel bad, like you've insulted him; he’s trying to come up with a way to tell you what he’s realized.

Nothing happens that night, and nothing happens when he leaves for Monaco the next morning. 

Texts between the two of you comprise of pictures of Denny the corgi, Jimmy and Sassy the cats, and updates on how people liked their presents. It feels off, but you have no idea how to make it feel right.

On December 30th, you plan to catch your flight to Nice, but your father gets into an accident and you can’t leave your mom to deal with everything on your own. You say sorry to Max repeatedly, tell him to wish everyone there a Happy New Year and focus back on the quiet life with Denny. 

On December 31st, you wake up to the smell of coffee and toast. It’s alarming because no one else is here, so why does it smell like breakfast?

You push open the door cautiously, forgetting for a moment that Denny is there, so he sneaks out the tiny crack. “Denny! No!” you whisper-shout, hurrying after the little guy, all regard for your own safety lost. You find him in the arms of Max, licking his face and wiggling his butt with untamed excitement. “Max?”

“Hi, schatje.” His smile is almost enough to distract you from the fact that he is here. You approach the two slowly, grabbing Denny from his arms to put him down. 

“What are you doing here?” Denny paws at you, reminding you that he needs to go out and do his business. 

Max ignores your question, instead pushing a mug of coffee into your hands. “Take this, I’ll take Denny outside.” He grabs Denny from the floor again, making his way to the front where you have his leash hanging up. “Be right back, schatje.” You can only nod at him, watching the two walk out of the front door.

They’re back in two minutes, enough time for you to put out Denny’s breakfast and drink some of your coffee in peace, trying to wrap your mind around the fact that Max is here. The door opens and Denny comes rushing in, Max close behind. He hangs up the leash with his keys, then turns back to you with a smile.

Max takes his own mug, leaning his back against the counter to watch you. “Why are you here?” you ask again. 

“You said you couldn’t come to Monaco for New Year’s, so I thought I’d come here.” He says it so casually it irritates you. “Plus, I can take some work off of you or your mom when dealing with your Dad.”

Oh, he’s being sweet. “You don’t have to do that.”

“Yeah, but I want to help someone I love.” He says that so casually it catches you off guard. Thank god you didn’t have anything in your mouth or you would have definitely spit it out.

He smirks over his cup, watching you splutter for an answer to his simple confession. “You… you love me?” He nods then puts his mug down. A few steps over to you and he grabs the one in your hands, putting that down next to his own. With his other hand he moves to cup the back of your neck, pulling you closer to him. You want to ask what he’s doing, try to stop this before it can even start, but Max is determined. (You’re grateful for that.)

There’s almost no space left between the two of you, just enough really for him to be able to look at your face while he asks if this is okay. A gulp, a breath, and a nod later he’s dipping his head down to yours, closing the distance, and kissing you. 

Your eyes close instantly. Your hands travel to their own accord, reaching up to lock around his neck and keep him close. Your ears ring for some odd reason and your nose can only smell coffee. You can taste red bull on his lips and you wonder how long he's been up.

The kiss is soft and slow and over before you really have a chance to appreciate it.

You open your eyes to see him, his lips spread in a wide smile that has you blushing. “Been waiting to do that for a while.” That has you blush even deeper, but he doesn’t let you dip your head to hide it. “Seriously, schatje. I love you.”

“I love you too.” It’s a whisper, but he doesn’t miss it with how close you are. But even if he had missed it, you’ll say it so many more times in the future that people get sick of it.

[2kverrr]

SAM GIDDINGS - Dating Headcanons

UNTIL DAWN || Sam Giddings x Reader

sam had 0 time for drama, especially including that of her own friends'. And being one of emily davis' closest friends basically encased your life in her drama.

you didn't feel as close with sam as you were with the group. but you felt most drawn to her, her maturity, her nurture, her kindness. more or less everything your friends lacked.

she's kickass, not scared to put someone in their place, something you never quite found the confidence to do.

she hates fishing, loves gardening, tolerates publicly accessible nature reserves, enjoys outdoor activities, despises zoos and you're not so sure how you know all of this.

you doubt she knows a single thing about you. it's weird - you can be friends with the top dogs and have some sort of silly superiority over people, yet nobody really knows you.

you and sam had spoken numerous times before, each you could remember were rather enjoyable. the two of you got on really well, but it was rare either of you could get any time alone

that was until you were approximately 4 weeks away from winter break.

"for fuck's sake em, just call him." you groan, your left hand massaging the bridge of your nose, but the girl straight out refused aggressively shoving her hands onto her hips and socking her head, yelling, "how many times do i have to tell you. i? am. not. wanting. i. am. wanted. a girl like me doesn't chase after people, they cha-""emily i'm going to leave you with your problem, since it is yours, not mine. see you at lunch." and with that, you head out of the girls' bathroom and out into the busy corridor.

you catch a glimpse of sam leaning against a locker, scrolling through her phone. There’s an ease in her posture that draws you in despite the weight of your worries - well emily's. “hey, everything okay?” sam looks up, her hazel eyes sharp and assessing. it’s both intimidating and comforting at the same time. you take a breath, trying to shake off the frustration of the last few minutes. “just another day in the life of emily,” you say with a half-hearted chuckle, hoping to lighten the mood. sam arches an eyebrow, not buying the attempt at humour.

"mike? is she still hung up over him?" she asks, her voice laced with understanding. you nod, with a deep sigh and an eye roll. "well, at least you're not like that, that's what I like about you." but you're too caught up in staring at her moving mouth to actually respond, before you know it she's waving her hand in front of your face, "huh- sorry, what were you saying?" she giggles, picking up the books from her locker and beginning to make her leave, "I'll see you around."

that interaction definitely stuck with you, or maybe it didn't, but the fact that you continued to think about it for the rest of the day is a big giveaway.

you're almost certain the corner of your eye spotted a suspicious emily briefly witness the interaction and watch you stare giddings down as she walked away, but that's a conversation for later.

after that talk with the blonde, you both found yourselves in more situations on your own, bumping into each other in the hallway, finding yourselves bored at parties, fixing your makeup in the bathroom mirror and seeing a certain hazel-eyes blonde behind you.

the week of receiving the message from josh, you and sam became really close, almost replacing emily in some way. besides, emily was now happily married off to matt, a sweet boy, not the sharpest tool in the box though.

you'd manage to persuade her to let you give her a lift to josh's mountain getaway, despite her refusal she ended up in your passenger seat feeding you mints as you drive.

you get out of your car and begin to lug bags out, placing them on the floor, sam is busy checking out her surroundings quite contently. but she swiftly turns around to face you, "hey, i wanted to tell you something," you raise your head curiously along with a quirked eyebrow, "i know we've been hanging out a lot lately," she continued, her voice dropping to a more conspiratorial tone. "but it feels different, doesn't it? like, we've really clicked, and I really like it - so please expect me to follow you around like a puppy dog... i still can't look at all the guys the same after last year." her eyebrows furrow. you sigh softly, the gears in your mind turning as you contemplated her words, "i get it sam, i like it too," you smirk, ", now am i taking both of our bags up or are you gonna' lend a hand?" she chuckles, her tension breaking as a playful glimmer replaces her earlier seriousness. "ugh - i really thought i'd get away with that." "i'll take them up for you. just lead the way," you nod, "this place really freaks me out."

settling in was a bit of a cofuffle, sam bagsied our rooms and had already called dibs on a bath.

you'd barely made it up the mountain with yours and her bags before she'd waltzed in, beckoning you to hurry up. don't even start on the wall you had to hop.

"guys, guys, hold your horses. we can't get comfy yet - generators, boilers and locks. i've sent mike and jess off to the generator outdoors, em and matt are... um- somewhere," josh takes a long scan for the couple that weren't present, ", right! sam's bath, boiler's downstairs, switch it on then you can have your beloved bath." she firmly places her hands on her hips and tilts her head, "you think i know how to work those kin-" you're quick to cut her off, "i'll go, can't be that hard." shrugging your shoulders. "that's the spirit, amigo!" the dark-haired boy cheers, fussing up your hair. of course sam's protests began, and again you managed to butt in. "look, i know what i'm doing, trust me.” you say, trying to keep the tension in the room from rising. “it should be pretty straightforward. i'll check for the spark plug first—if it’s clean, just give it a gentle pull. worst-case, i might have to troubleshoot a bit more," there's a bit of a silence, confusion mostly, "yeah, um- my dad's a plumber.” you didn't exactly understand half the words you'd just said but if it gave you a chance at impressing sam, it was so worth it. she slowly smiles, "impressive..." biting her lip, looking you up and down with newfound admiration. "who knew you had all these hidden talents?" she teases, eyes sparkling with mischief. "maybe you can teach me a thing or two about plumbing after this bath fiasco." the playful banter felt like a breath of fresh air amidst the clamour of everyone scurrying around and arguing, and you couldn’t help but swell with pride. “alright, let’s see if I can live up to the expectation,” you reply, trying to sound more confident than you felt. josh looks between the two of you, a devious grin slowly forming on my face, "is this- oh wow. this- this is great!" he turns around, presumably going to find chris and ash, you do the same, not at all looking forward to seeing this 20 year boiler in all it's glory.

fortunately, the boiler hadn't frozen over completely.

the basement was eerie enough, never mind all of the creepy shit happening around you: screams, shouts, smashes. something wasn't right.

like any stereotypical horror movie, you walk right into the danger to find out what was going on."

and as always, you were right. josh's basement was fucked up, led to some sort of mine, where you soon found a battered and bruised mike, stumbling his way through the caved area. his ankle didn't look so good, but he didn't complain

the next half hour you were trying to navigate your way, the poor guy was traumatised, jess had disappeared, dead or alive? not a single clue.

there's apparently somebody or something out there with her and they're in the mines, you're baffled to say the least, but you stayed put.

all until a scream was heard, female, it was far yet so close.

"mike! what was that noise?" the two of you pause your movements, and prick your heads up, faint cries could be heard and the occasional, "anyone! help!" you knew that voice, almost naturally you race over the source of the noise, struggling to find a door, "where's jess? is it her? oh, please say it's her." mike whiles up against the wall while you attempt to barge your way in. "sam! i'm here, mike too. i'm coming in." “almost there!” you shout back to mike, who is still positioned by the flimsy beam of light your flashlights provide. he looks torn between helping you and staying on guard, eyes darting nervously around the oppressive shadows. the urgency in your efforts intensifies, and you feel your fingers digging into the rough surface of the door. it shifts slightly, just enough to give you hope, and with one last shove, it creaks open. you stumble inside, breathless, and immediately the air feels thicker, charged with an unsettling energy. "fuck sam! what the fuck happened?" the girl was tied up in a chair, nothing but a towel. whoever did this must've been fucked in the head, sick. you take a cautious step forward, your eyes zeroing in on the girl’s wide, terrified gaze. “you’re alright now,” you whisper reassuringly, though your own insides are knotting up at the sight. "oh my god, you're here... i- he chased me! th- then-" the blonde leans forwards into you once you complete untying her ankle bounds, sore red marks forming over her pale skin. her arms completely wrap around you, she's freezing. sliding off your hoodie and body warmer, you begin to wrap them around the girl. "-sam, it's okay. you can explain everything later. you safe now we-" but before you can finish your sentence, the girl leans in, connecting your lips in a kiss, short and sweet due to their being a third presence in the room. as your lips part, you both freeze, momentarily caught off guard by the sudden surge of intimacy in the midst of chaos. sam's eyes are wide with surprise, glistening with unshed tears, but there’s a flicker of gratitude behind her fear. you clear your throat, feeling the heat rush to your cheeks, but the urgency of the situation quickly pulls you back to reality. "i thought you were dead, y/n.”

after all police interrogation had been completed, those who survived were wasting away. josh dead. matt dead. jess dead. sam and yourself isolated yourselves from the rest.

after sam almost sacrificed herself to save you, you made an oath to yourself that you're forever indebted to her.

you were in love - even amongst the sick and twisted events that you two had to go through.

you both didn't go out as much anymore, your previous party-girl lifestyle completely left behind.

instead you both settled on movie nights or cooking sessions.

you immediately expanded her music taste, she's a great girl but her music taste could definitely do with some improving.

rock climbing dates, kayaking, surfing (which you absolutely smashed - sam could barely stand up on the bored)

sam always managed to convince you to go camping with her, bribing you with all sorts, despite your hatred for bugs.

she's the most peaceful sleeper, she looks like and angel when fast asleep. you're both early birds, which meant you really enjoy spening the morning in bed just admiring one another.

every month or so you'll pay a visit to the friends you lost together, paying respects. hell even josh - sam calls him mentally ill, whereas you call him batshit crazy. but he was your friend, one of our closest, you're still unsure to this day why you were apart of his cruel game but you couldn't keep dwelling on the past so you came to forgive him.

it's even rare to see the friends that made it out alive, you knew chris and ash moved away together, forgetting all that had happened. the last you heard off of mike was "i'm igniting some old flames - definitely going for drinks soon?"

it'd been 3 months and you never went to see him.

you and sam assumed that old flame is emily, your once best friend who you hadn't spoken to since before the disaster.

[vernons-girl]

a shoulder to cry on | lee dokyeom

angst to fluff, wc:1.1k

Teamwork was never something that worked for you ever since high school. You always ended up being the one doing all the work because others were lazy and sugarcoating the situation saying you should do it since you were the smartest one amongst the group.

And unfortunately, this pattern followed you even at work years later. Indeed you and a few of your co-workers were supposed to work on a big advertisement project for you company and much to your dismay, your oh-so-dear colleagues left all the work to you, as usual.

And having to do all the work - because of course, you could not bring yourself to stand up against them - brought you so much stress that just living life was overwhelming in itself. After hours of working your ass off on this project, it was leading you nowhere, you could not get anything done like you wished you could. So you decided to take a quick shower and dress in warm comfy clothes before heading to what you now considered a safe place : your boyfriend’s studio.

The both of you were so busy and got up with work that you barely had the chance to see one another in the past couple of weeks, you knew he was working hard on his music, even if that meant staying up late at night in his studio to get that one beat done. So you knew that coming over to see him would probably mean having to see him work all night long but you didn’t care, you needed to see him and to be with him to feel a tiny bit better.

After a quick taxi ride, you found yourself in front of the building, you decided to send Dokyeom a quick text to alert him of your upcoming visite even though he had told you an infinite number of time that you could come by whenever you wanted to. He did not replied but saw your message; which means he was probably busy but still wanted you to know he acknowledged you.

You softly knocked on his studio door before entering the room, your new presence causing your boyfriend to turn his desk chair around to face you, smiling brightly and opening his arms as a silent call for a hug, to which you more than thankfully answered, crouching down a bit so you could rest your head on his shoulder, melting in his warm embrace.

“I missed you..” he mumbled in your hair, his hot breath tickling your ear as his words brought some comfort to your heart and soul.

“I missed you too” you said back, reluctantly pulling away from the hug only to place a chaste kiss on his lips, earning another smile between giggles from your sweet lover.

“I’ll be watching over you on the couch, okay ?” you said with a smile, wanting him to know you were here for him, cheering silently from afar.

“Come over there if you need anything, alright ?” Dokyeom replied, you nodded and made your way toward the small velvety couch at the back of his studio, ready to watch your significant other work his magic.

After a while, about an hour you guessed, you didn’t feel more relaxed like you thought you would, you felt like you were stuck in a bubble of anxiety that could explode at any moment and this moment came just because your ever so kind boyfriend turned to you to flash you a smile, attempting to check up on you but his smile quickly disappeared as you failed to hold your tears back from falling down your cheeks. The sight of his lover breaking down suddenly in front of him raised an alter in Dokyeom's brain and he quickly got up from his chair to join you on the couch and hold you tightly against him, placing your face against his chest so you could find comfort in his warmth and scent as well as hiding your crying face from him, not wanting to make things worse for any of you.

A few minutes that felt like hours, you finally looked up to Dokyeom, only to be met by a worried expression painted on his face even though his eyes had an endearing hint within them. You saw how wet his hoodie got from all your tears as you let go of the soft material you had been holding tightly in your fists. “I’m sorry I got your sweater all wet..” you said in between sobs, “I couldn’t care less about this baby. What I care the most about right now is you. Do you want to tell me what is wrong ?” his kind and caring nature has always been something that made you heart swell with happiness and love and in this moment, this is all you needed, you needed your lover’s support.

“It’s just work… We had that group work to do for the company, a big project that our boss is really looking forward to get back, and my co-workers well, they left it all to me and I feel like it’s my fault for not standing up against them but all of this is just bringing me so much that I can’t even do anything right anymore and everything is just -”

- Hey baby slow down” Dokyeom softly said, cutting you in the middle of your rant. “You know, I understand how it is, I know how you are but you should not kill yourself working hard like this. Take a break, send an email to your boss to tell him about the situation and you will take it from here again, okay ?”, you nodded silently, “Now let’s just relax and forget about everything else. It’s just you and I, alright ?” he said reassuringly.

“Yes, it’s just you and I.” you repeated, looking up to him as he leaned in to kiss you gently, taking your breath as well as your worries away.

This is how you ended up cuddling up with him on his desk chair, your chest pressed tightly against his, your face nuzzled in the crook of his neck, feeling the softness of his skin against your, his delicate and home-like scent feeling your senses and he lovingly caressed your back while placing a few kisses on the top of your head with his upcoming songs playing in the background to keep you two in that little bubble you formed around you, shielding you from the outside world, you didn’t need anything else than this, your boyfriend and his music being the only things feeling like home and comfort.

[al-the-remix]

TikTok Chef!Buck AU: several sentences sunday (or something like that)

I'm close to finishing the fic I've been working on so I finally felt like I could write a little something based off this headcannon without feeling too guilty about it, lol. 2k of mostly crack, please enjoy.

It all starts when Tommy’s stuck on his couch for a week with a sprained knee. He wishes he could claim it happened doing something heroic–or at the very least badass–but in truth it was the result of letting his ego get the best of him at the squat rack. 

Lucy stops by a few times to keep him company, which really means letting herself in unannounced with her spare key, eating all the leftovers in his fridge, and offering an unsolicited running critique of whatever show he’s watching. Today it was Below Deck reruns. 

“If I ever decide to take a vacation on a boat, tackle me, this shit does not look worth it.”

“You really don’t have to be here you know,” Tommy says, leaning over to grab some chips from the near-empty bag she was cradling before they were all gone. He’d been looking forward to eating those for dinner and feeling sorry for himself. 

Lucy just snorts. “Please, if I wasn’t here you’d already be up to something ill advised. I caught you looking up deck chair patterns earlier, power tools don’t go well with injuries, Tommy, even if it’s only carpentry.”

Well, she had him there. 

At least she had the decency to order them Chinese take out for dinner so he wouldn’t have to Instacart a can of soup or something equally pathetic. 

Before she left she made a grabby hand at him. “Give me your phone.”

“Why?” Tommy asks, already suspicious. 

She met his suspicion with boredom. “Don’t ask stupid questions, just do it.”

Rolling his eyes, he hands it over, giving into her whim, and maybe he should find it a little more unsettling that she already seems to know his password off by heart. 

She clicks around for long enough that Tommy starts getting nervous: what was the last text message he sent? Was it embarrassing? Were all his nudes still in that locked folder? Did she know the password for that too? Just when he was going to start asking questions she tosses his phone back. “Here, this should keep you entertained for a while,” she explains as he scrambles to catch it. “My niece wastes hours of her life on this crap.”

“Such ringing endorsement,” Tomy grumbles, she’s downloaded some kind of video app onto his phone. TikTok. Perfect. He’d heard of that one, apparently it was single handedly ruining a whole generation’s attention span and the Chinese government was using it to spy on the inner lives of teenagers with stupid haircuts and a critical lack of social skills. 

“Are you sure you didn’t just give me some kind of virus?” Tommy asks, clicking around the home page arbitrarily, the UI didn’t make a lick of sense. 

“Har, har. You were always good at picking up new skills, I’m sure you’ll figure this out in no time. I have faith in you,” she says, clapping him hard enough on the shoulder to make him wince. 

He finds his profile page by total mistake. His username reads: benchedcockwrangler.

“How do I change this?” he asks, waving his phone at her as she makes for the door. 

“You don’t,” she says, without looking back. “Don’t stay up on that thing all night, it will ruin your sleep schedule!”

Tommy winces as the front door slams and sighs. He’ll figure out how to change it later. After all, beggars can’t be choosers and three days into his mandatory medical leave he’s already so bored he’s ready to stab his eyes out with hot pokers just to mix it up a bit. 

He scrolls through the app, and based on most of what he sees he finds himself unable to justify its existence in the first place. It feels like every video he watches drags him into a deeper alternate universe where everyone’s wholeheartedly competing for the top of the podium at the Darwin Awards. 

There’s a woman digging tunnels under her apartment that Tommy is positive are not up to code (that’s a call just waiting to happen); and two young ladies mixing cocktails of a concerning hue and variety at random local establishments (not necessarily anything that would warrant a trip to the ER but potentially a health code violation); and what seems like an ungodly number of men hosting podcasts (Tommy is pretty sure that even during his darkest days rotting in the closet he had a better batting average picking up women than any of these bozos.)

Tommy’s eyes start to glaze over as he scrolls past comedians, and political commentators, and people reviewing romance novels, and–how has it already been forty minutes?

He’s about ready to give up and throw his phone across the room and leave it there until Lucy shows up tomorrow and he can make her delete it off his phone, when catchy music, an arm roped with muscle, and a criminally tight shirt sleeve catches his attention. 

It’s some kind of cooking video and his first impression is: how is anyone supposed to understand what’s going on with edits that fast? His second impression is: hot man. Man hot.

Soon his brain is catching up with his eyes, kickstarting like a toddler being exposed to sugar for the first time. 

Cooking might be a generous description for what’s going on here. The man is obviously skilled, but the main focus of the video seems to be how hot he looks in an apron (very) and whether it’s possible to bring half a peach to completion by finger blasting the pit out of it (not like, whether or not you should pre-bake your tart crust to achieve an ideal texture). 

Tommy has to watch it twice just to fully absorb everything that’s going on. He’s making some kind of deconstructed peach crumble topped with an obscene amount of whipped cream and steak with fries that looks fancier than anything Tommy’s ever eaten at a restaurant. 

Half way through the video the man wipes down the worktop shirtless with a cloth sudsy enough to make Tommy’s mouth go instantly dry then suddenly wet enough he’s forced to swallow. 

He clicks through to ChefFirehose’s profile just to, you know, get a better sample size. Tommy’s not above letting himself be manipulated by a man with biceps like melons and a cute smile. 

His profile description reads: LA resident, self-taught, putting out fires and saving lives in my spare time. Just here to give the food the appreciation it deserves. Let me show off for you 😉.

Tommy thinks this guy must be new to town, because living nearly a decade even in a city as sprawling and overcrowded as LA, he doesn’t know how he could miss running into this guy on the job. There was no way he wouldn’t remember a guy this hot even through turnouts, a helmet, and smeared in a thick layer of soot.

He starts working his way back through ChefFirehose’s videos, and some are admittedly a little less chaotic than the rest, but all of them are just tongue-and-cheek enough that Tommy feels confident he’s just one in close to a million people in on a joke and not enabling someone’s very real personality disorder. 

He’s stuck somewhere between disbelief and admiration. He definitely wouldn't have the balls to post this on the internet for everyone to see and so obviously thirst over. He braves the comment section on a few of the videos and it’s just a litany of horned-up men and women trying their best to make ChefFirehose laugh, or get in his pants, or both. He replies to almost all of his comments with either a smirking emoji or acting deliberately oblivious when someone tries to bait him into giving up the bit. Tommy finds him funny and maybe a little more endearing than he should after ten videos. 

Tommy can’t really blame them for trying to shoot their shot so shamelessly. ChefFirehose’s wardrobe consists of polos plastered so tight to his skin that Tommy was mildly concerned about restricted blood circulation, dress shirts buttoned dangerously low, and slacks that wrap snugly around miles of long, toned leg. 

Those weren’t Tommy’s favorite looks though. No, every so often a video would start and he’s be dressed down in soft looking sweatpants, a baseball cap pushed on backwards plastering his auburn curls to his forehead, and a white tank top–or if Tommy was really lucky, no shirt at all (sometimes not even the apron which Tommy had mixed feelings about...), his muscled arms and shoulders on full display. He’s got tattoos decorating his forearms that Tommy can’t quite make out, a collection of fine lines on pale skin like thin ribbons of chocolate drizzled over a crape. 

Those videos are most often breakfast related and ChefFirehose is barefoot in his kitchen, the warm sunlight casting his face in gold. He paints such an enticing tableau it’s all too easy for Tommy’s brain to plop himself right down in that scene, imagination running wild. He can so easily picture what it would be like: in that kitchen, feeling the warm cast of sun on his face and getting to watch built, handsome man make him breakfast with that flirty confidence of his. 

Tommy bookmarks a video of him making an omelet, the way he handles the eggs making Tommy blush like he’s a schoolgirl and not a man pushing forty. He feels less guilty about getting hard over it on the sofa surrounded by takeout containers than he probably should.  

The screen goes suddenly black and Tommy’s faced with his own reflection in the finger smudged screen, chin rolls and all. Fuck. He reaches for his charger. God, his life was depressing at the moment, and apparently he really needs to get laid.

So yeah, by the time his two weeks of recovery are up he’s feeling a little stir crazy in an entirely different way than before. He’s never been more glad to get back to work, put some of this weirdness behind him and get some much needed distance from his phone.

That’s only part of the reason why he doesn’t even think twice when Howie calls him for a favor. A big favor. And that was only the first of many surprises the universe had in store for him, apparently.

Even fully clothed in his LFD uniform Tommy recognises him. Evan. Evan, Evan, Evan, (Tommy repeats over and over in his head until it drowns out every other name Tommy’s assigned him the past few weeks: slutty egg guy, ChefBigDick, totally off limits boyfriend material–just to name a few).

“So you’re the guy who’s gonna fly us into a hurricane.” Evan sounds a little breathless, like maybe he jogged all the way here, and Tommy chalks it up to the high that accompanies stealing government property. “Chim said you were the best pilot he knows and good in a pinch, but I still thought there was no way anyone that good would agree to something this crazy.”

Tommy’s definitely starting to feel a little crazy. Evan’s still shaking his hand. His grip is solid, his fingers long and nimble, surprisingly soft against this palm (he must really lather on the hand lotion) and Tommy can’t stop thinking about all the talented things he knows they can do. 

 “That’s me. Though I’m pretty sure I’m just the only pilot Howie knows who's in town at the moment.” 

“You look good to me–capable, I mean.” Evan gives him a solid smack on the shoulder with his free hand. His mouth does something funny like he's trying to hold back the sheer force of his excitement by his teeth. “Solid.”

His eyes are even bigger and brighter in person, smile softer, even taller than Tommy presumed. Howie’s giving them a weird look from over Evan’s shoulder. The other man with them, Eddie, isn’t paying them any attention, checking out the other helicopters parked on the apron instead, and Tommy forces himself to pull his hand out of Evan’s warm grip. 

Tommy clears his throat. “Good to know. I’ll show you guys the bird we’ll be taking. I've got her all gassed up and ready to go.”

He just met his (internet) celebrity crush and the man of his dreams, and now Tommy was going to get him killed in one of the most spectacular ways imaginable. It seems like they’re all headed for the Darwin Awards this time.

[smallvictorianchildwhofoundwifi]

Long ass story, the post finally arrives! @the-copycat-hero

On the same road that a young boy takes on their way to his friend's house is a hospital. A hospital that is always busy with someone to help, so busy that the people occupying their rooms tend to blur together.

And even in the absence of the boy and the house that gave a roof to the wonderful family of the boy's friend, the hospital still stood on that road. The hospital with so many rooms, one couldn't count them without getting mixed up and turned around.

But in the mix of madness, hidden in the blur of the patients, was room 4307. The room that held a great tragedy and a great miracle of one person experienced and seen by no one before.

When passing by room 4307, the voices of several teenaged students could be heard.

A knock on the room door grabbed the attention of the three students, and the door opened to reveal a familiar scruffy man, with the most droopy red eye, constant annoyed expression, and long black hair to frame his face, perfectly signaling his "do not talk to me" vibe. Except now this man was a caring teacher, checking up on his after-mortem student.

"He should be free to leave in another week, if the doctors decide he's recovering well and it's safe for him to walk, train, study, the whole shebang." Aizawa-sensei answered the question the students hadn't known he'd heard.

"Now," he continued, not waiting for any of them to reply, "I understand you two are worried reps, but Monoma's got a few other visitors today."

Taking the hint, Shoda and Kendo said their goodbyes and exited the hospital room.

Monoma rested his chin on his hand and groaned to the teacher, "You sure know how to clear a room Teach, but they really couldn't have stuck around for a few doctors visits?" Monoma never needed to say just how much he loves his classmates and wants to be with them, but he always pushes sneaks it into a conversation anyways.

"Oh it's not just doctors."

Monoma was confused. The last he checked, none of his classmates were allowed to visit him because of his condition- Kendo and Shoda having special permission that Vlad-sensei fought for under the guise that they're his class reps.

A figure emerged into the doorway that Monoma hadn't realized was still open. A figure of long blonde hair and pale skin, who's dark green eyes were too faraway to be in the body of a caring mother, visiting her living son.

"Neito." She said loud enough so that he could hear with his very limited hearing. It wasn't unnatural to her to speak like that, she had to do the same thing growing up with her mother with the same hearing loss as her son.

But now she had to do it so her son would know she was there, not just what she was saying.

"Oh." is all he could find within him to say. Aizawa looked between the two before leaving with a quick note that he would check on Monoma later.

The woman stood in the doorway for a few moments, looking around the hospital room; the iv, the monitors, and every piece of furniture had more eye contact with her than Monoma did.

"I wasn't expecting you to visit."

The simple sentence struck her out of her stupor, looking at him almost offendedly.

"You've been in the hospital almost a week, after being dead for days. You just fought in a war and are expected to skip back over to school, and you didn't think I would visit?" Her voice raised a little as she continued talking and walked a little closer to his bed.

Monoma thought of 100 things to say to her, none of them nice, but instead he looked back at the doorway with all his might to see the blurry sliding door closed. No one else was expected to enter.

"I see dad isn't with you." Monoma tried to meet his mother's eyes, his words carrying another message: if he can't be bothered to visit, why should I expect you either?

His mother took a sharp inhale and squeezed her eyes shut. "Your father- he..." they both knew she had nothing good to say.

"He has nothing to do with me. I'm so happy you're okay." She said with such tenderness you could believe that it came from a caring mother.

Monoma wanted nothing more that to believe her- she had no reason to lie- but he couldn't stop his stupid mouth from talking. "Yeah I bet you no longer have to worry about fighting over who has to deal with the funeral services."

Monoma couldn't see it, but her face cringed for a moment, just a moment, where she looked guilty.

Despite his blindness, her silence spoke volumes and Monoma knew exactly what that meant.

"You didn't...”

"Neito I-"

YOU SERIOUSLY FOUGHT OVER THAT?! DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW CRAZY THAT IS??"

"I know, but I do care about you Neito- that was just-"

"Oh yes, the love and care I feel." Monoma usually had a better handle on his emotions, but at the moment he really didn't care how he was acting, he just wanted his mother gone.

"I DO-" the woman who was practically foreign to her son stopped as she realized she was shouting, and finally walked up to his bed to cup his face and spoke in a quieter voice.

"I do care about you. I love you so much, and I'm sorry that I haven't been able to make you believe that. And I promise, I will do what I can to make sure you're safe." The emphasis on safe made Monoma nervous.

"What do you mean safe?"

She let go of Monoma and backed up just a little bit, still making eye contact. "I'm taking you out of UA."

Monoma felt his blood run cold and his heart drop. "... what?"

"Neito, look around. Look at you!" She waved her hands around frantically before gesturing at her bedridden son. "Is this really the life you want for yourself? To be getting injured all the time? To die on a battlefield?" Her voice rose the more she spoke and this time she didn't try to lower it.

Monoma didn't know what to think, what to say. All words died in his mouth. When he was a kid, all he wanted was for his parents to pay attention to him, to care about him- and now he was getting that in the worst way possible.

"I am not leaving 1-B." Monoma said slowly

His mother looked aghast. "Those people got you killed and you want to go back?"

"What the hell did you expect when you convinced dad to let me be a hero? Did you think I was just going to sit on my ass-"

"Language, I am your mothe-"

"AND DO nothing!? My life is always going to be on the line. And YOU agreed to that when you let me be a hero."

His mother stared at him for several moments before speaking up again, much quieter than before to where Monoma could barely hear her, "Well I'm taking that back. I'm sorry Neito."

They stood in silence until they heard the door slide open again, a doctor and Aizawa on the other side.

"Pardon us," the doctor said, "Are we interrupting?"

Monoma's mother quickly broke eye contact with her son to address the doctor, "No, I was just about to head out. Pardon me if I stole important time from you doctor.”

"Oh you can stay if you’d like, it's just a check up and typically parents stay with their kids during these." The doctor clearly didn't understand the situation.

"It's just a check up right? She doesn't need to stay." Monoma stared back at his mother with a look telling her to get out.

Before she left she announced, "I'll be back tomorrow." And left with a nod.

Aizawa eyed her until she was out of sight and snapped his attention to Monoma, but said nothing.

The next day, true to her promise, "Mrs." Monoma made her way into the hospital that her son had been staying at for the past week and a half.

Her heels clacked on the tile floor as she started to make her way up to his room before hearing a man's voice from behind her.

"Ah, Mrs. Monoma."

She turned around to find the owner of the voice was the scroungy man who was next to the doctor yesterday. A teacher, she remembered, but his name...

"Hello. You're one of Neito's teachers, yes?" She didn't bother with reaching out a hand to shake, she didn't want to formalize with a man who helped kill her son.

"Aizawa Shouta, Mrs. Monoma. We haven't properly met."

"Well, now we have. If you don't mind me, I'm going to visit my son- who is hospitalized." Monoma said shortly, a soupcon of resentment in her voice, as she turned around and started to walk away.

Aizawa didn't try to stop her but continued talking. "Your son is actually a topic I wanted to discuss with you. We've been informed that you plan to remove him from the hero course and UA entirely, whether he wants it or not."

Monoma stopped in her tracks and whipped around, "Yes well, sometimes people make decisions for others without asking their permission. It's how things get done." She slowly walked towards the audacious man, her voice etched with discontent. "It's what UA saw fit to do when they shipped off our children to war with little regard on if they'd come home to us."

The mother stood in front of Aizawa with a face of anger and her voice a threatening whisper, “Now you may see my actions as paranoid, or stringent, but I am doing what is best for him and one day he will understand that. It doesn’t have to be tomorrow or next week, but this is the decision I have made and he will just have to deal with it.”

Aizawa understood where she was coming from. The hero commission demanded that everyone with a hero license were to fight, and no parents were made aware of this in case there was an uproar in reaction. Illogical, in his opinion- and look how that decision landed.

But as much as Aizawa understood and agreed with this mother's anger, he came here for a reason. "I completely understand your decision. However, your son loves being at this school, and being with his classmates. His homeroom teacher has reported that he's been much happier as the school year went on and Neito finds a lot of comfort in his friends here. If you were to take him out-"

"YOU GET NO SAY IN WHAT IS GOOD FOR MY SON'S WELLBEING." Monoma suddenly shouted as she stuck an accusative finger in Aizawa's chest, "BECAUSE OF YOUR IDEA OF "SUPERVISION", NEITO IS STUCK IN A HOSPITAL BED FOR THREE WEEKS. HE HAS A DEATH CERTIFICATE. I WOULD RATHER NEITO HAVE A LIFE AWAY FROM UA THAN NO LIFE AT ALL." She took in a shaky breath and lowered her arm to her side, body tense and unmoving.

The air was thick as silence followed the mother's shouts. Then suddenly, Aizawa lowered his body in a bow and spoke in acquiesce.

"You're right. It was my job to keep your son safe and I failed. Because of my failure as a hero and a caretaker- you, your son, and all his classmates have gone through a terrible experience and I cannot offer enough condolences and apologies to erase your pain, as much as I wish I could." Aizawa paused for a moment, clearly pensive and radiating sorrow. He kept his bow low and respectful and took a deep breath before making his request, "But despite what has happened, Neito still wishes to be a hero. He wants to continue his educational journey here at UA, and he wants to continue his life alongside his friends in class 2-B."

"So please, do not take away Neito's dream because of our shortcomings."

Monoma looked at the pleading teacher as if she had been turned upside-down. Working her entire career in the modeling industry and then at her husbands company, an actual remorseful apology was rare, and was certainly not expected from the "heroes" entrusted with her son's life and had messed up horrendously. She felt ambivalent staring at this man with an eye patch and a metal leg, realizing that those are from trying. This man had truly tried to protect her son and might have even given his life to protect him.

But all she could think was her son having the same fate- missing limbs and appendages, failing to save people and feeling sorrow and despair. Her heart wouldn't be able to take that.

"I can't... I can't do that to myself, or my son." She spoke slowly and low, her voice thick. "Have a good day." A clear end to the conversation and Aizawa watched as the woman turned and walked away, making her way to her son's hospital room.

As Mrs Monoma started to open the hospital door, she stopped at the sound of two distressed teenage shouts coming from the room.

"WHAT?!"

Through the small opening she had made through the door, she watched a short, round faced boy with light blue hair and a taller muscular redhead girl converse with Neito.

"She's taking you out of UA?" The boy said.

"She can't do that- I mean, this has been your dream for years and-" the distressed girl spoke quickly but Neito managed to cut her off.

"I know..." He held his hand up to motion the girl to stop, "But I don't think there's anything I can do. She sounded pretty ready to take me out."

Seeing the dejected look on Neito's face made his mother so upset to see. She knew that he didn't like this decision but that's what is best for him... right?

The boy sat down on one of the chairs next to the hospital bed and sat in thought, his eyebrows knit together. "And you're sure there's no way of convincing her?"

Neito's voice broke as he spoke, "I... I don't know." He brought his legs towards his chest, something the doctors definitely wouldn't approve but Neito showed no pain.

The redhead girl gripped onto the end of the bed and was practically shaking in anger. "Why does she care?" She whispered.

Mrs Monoma felt offended by the outrageous question, but there was something tugging on the back of her mind, a blurry memory of someone with red hair.

The round faced boy looked at the girl like she was suddenly someone unfamiliar.

"Well, any worried parent might do this, we should've expected it. I mean," he let out a chuckle, trying to lighten the mood, "I'm surprised Midoriya's still enrolled."

"But it's not like she's ever cared before." The girl let out an aggravated breath, "Now she just- appears out of nowhere and-"

"Kendo." The boy interrupted, "there's no point in getting all mad over it, Monoma's the only one who gets a say in what to do."

At the mention of the girl's name, the memory snapped to the front of her mind, and Mrs Monoma remembered a little redhead girl at her door, along with an older boy who looked similar to the girl, saying she was Neito's friend. The boy introduced the two of them as the Kendo's who lived a few blocks away.

Neito, still curled in on himself, just shrugged and mumbled something.

This "Kendo" seemed to have heard him and suddenly reached out her hands and held his face- much more aggressively than Mrs Monoma recalled having done just the day before, but Neito looked less tense with her. No, not quite "less tense", he was just comfortable. Comfortable with her, and not his own mother.

"No-" Kendo started, "no it is not okay, and we are not going to let her take you out of UA."

"But what-" he started to argue.

"You love it here don't you?" The girl interrupted. Neito stared at her for a second, surprised by the question, before letting out a small 'yeah'. "Then we are not going to let her take you out."

The hidden mother sucked in a small breath at that. How could he love it there? Regardless of any happy memories, they had gotten him killed. They couldn't guarantee his safety anymor-

They already couldn't guarantee his safety for a while.

She remembered hearing about the USJ attack, and when they were attacked at camp. She'd thought about how dangerous it was, and glad that Neito was okay, but she'd never thought to take him out over it. She barely even thought to call. She didn't care when they insisted on housing him- and all the other students.

UA had been a danger for a long time- all the more reason to take him out now.

The girl was half on the bed after reaching out to Neito, but was too focused on his face to notice or move, "You have wanted to be a hero for YEARS, and I won't let anyone take that dream from you, you hear me?"

The other boy spoke up as well, "Yeah, we'll all be right there with you, just give us the word."

Neito looked between his two classmates and his eyes became glossy. Kendo noticed and crawled on the bed to hug him.

The moment was silent as the two sat on the bed in a tight hug before Neito whispered:

"I like being at UA."

"I know Monoma."

"I don't want to leave."

"I know, we won't let you."

"I don't want to change my life, I like it now."

Kendo said nothing but squeezed him tighter.

...

....

"I don't want to change" the words rung in her ears. The woman behind the door felt as if she couldn't breathe, breath became irrelevant, unimportant to the mind of this woman. "I don't want to change," how many times had those words echoed in her head in passing thought. How many hours had she stayed in bed, wishing she hadn't changed herself for a faux man, who spoke empty promises. How many years of her life was wasted away because she allowed others to decide her life.

Hiromi no longer felt that she was standing on a hospital floor, or that she was standing at all. Everything felt lost, that she was floating in everything her life was, floating in nothing.

Hiromi? When was she last called her name. She wasn't Hiromi anymore, she was a Monoma. That's who she had been for the last 17 years of her life. That's all she was.

Is this how Neito would feel when he was in his adult years? Had he already reached his adult years? He just fought in a war, did he really still feel like a child? Could he?

Mrs. Monoma found herself sitting on the floor, clutching onto the chair next to her, but she couldn't feel the grip, couldn't feel the cool tile floors. She couldn't feel anything. Everything was lost- her life was lost, the man she fell in love with was lost, her son was lost, her beautiful sister was lost, the wedding of her dreams was lost, the cozy home she dreamed of filled with laugher and love was lost, what else? What else was ripped away from her, what else had she chosen to throw away in exchange for a life she didn't want, hadn't desired. When had this happened.

She felt as if she turned around and everything was suddenly gone. But she knew it wasn't true, she could feel the pathway of her life crumbling as she walked for years. She's cried so many nights as she felt the unsteady cracks catch at her heels and make her trip, scratches and bruises appearing in every single place, later replaced by scars, scars replacing every single part of her, leaving her nothing of the same person she once was, the giddy and ebullient woman who loved the world despite it's battles. She was now cold and emotionless, broken by the world, by her world, and breaking everything else in the process.

And yet still she walked, on a cracking, breaking, spiraling road, because what else is she supposed to do? What other road is there to go? There's nothing left, every other road she had was destroyed with her own hands till nothing else was left, nothing to fix the road, nothing to know the road even existed, except maybe a shared name or a picture, but even those are cracked and freyed, erased and thrown out.

Over the years she worked and worked, trying to appease her in-laws, trying to wash out her emotions and everything she loved in order to be taken more seriously. And for what? To become "Mrs Monoma"? "Mrs" "Monoma". That's all she was, a Monoma wife. A wife to that slimy, stinking, rotten man that can't even stick up for his WIFE, the woman he CHOSE to love, chose to MARRY- instead it was left up to her to to go against those foul people, and look how good she was at that. Left with a son she didn't want, a house she didn't want, a job she didn't want, a husband she didn't want, a title she didn't want- a "Mrs. Monoma"

Mrs Monoma

"Mrs." "Mrs." "Mrs." Was all they ever called her.

What about Hiromi? When was the last time someone ever called her by her name? When was the last time she talked to someone who called her that?

"Mrs." Oh it was all she ever heard anymore, "Mrs" "Mrs" "Mrs-

"Miss?!" Hiromi felt someone gently grab her shoulders and lightly shake her, knocking her out of her stupor.

Suddenly she could feel the cool tile floor underneath her, the grip her hand had on the chair next to her. It felt as if all of her senses came back in an instant and immediately short circuited, the lights blinding her, the ringing sound in her ears making it hard to hear what the nurse next to her was saying.

Hiromi's eyes focused on the woman and let her ears slowly stop ringing to let the nurse's voice into her head.

"Ma'am are you alright?"

"Ah, yes yes I'm fine." Hiromi put a hand on her head as if suffering a headache. "Got lightheaded for a moment is all."

"We should get you some place to lay down and some water." The kind nurse helped her up but Hiromi stepped away from her.

"Oh no I'm quite fine now, I'm just visiting my son and I'll be leaving."

The nurse knit her brows together and cautiously reached for the woman's arm. "It's dangerous to shrug off dizzy spells, do you have them frequently?"

Hiromi could recall a few after a good many hours of staring at her computer screen, or working long hours of calls, meetings, reviewing products, writing papers, and other grueling tasks- but those were caused by overworking herself. This was fine, she was fine.

"No, I don't, I am completely fine. Thank you." She began to reach for the door next to her as the nurse continued to reach for her arm, when the door suddenly opened and two high school students were on the other end.

"Oh." Kendo stared Mrs. Monoma with no attempt to hide her surprise that the woman has visited.

Hiromi knew there were many things she should say to this girl, many apologies and many thanks. But at the moment, she didn't care to do any of it; she walked past the two children and walked right for Neito.

"Miss I really do think you should sit down-" the nurse shouted but Hiromi didn't care. She kept walking towards her son and reached her arms out surround him in a stuffing hug. Probably the fist hug she's given him since he got into UA.

Neito squeaked at suddenly getting pulled into a hug, especially since he had no idea what was happening, having little vision and little hearing. But he was a smart one, from what little he heard, what he could feel, and who had yet to visit him, Neito could reasonably deduce that it was his mother hugging him.

Reasonably.

But… why was she hugging him? Monoma tried to look over where his mother had stomped over from to gain some context.

He could see a blurry figure that looked unlike his classmates walk closer and speak loud enough that he could hear her worried tone, before she suddenly stopped as Monoma could feel his mother say something, although his head was swimming so much he couldn't discern what it was.

The arms around him squeezed him tighter for a moment and Monoma could hear his mother's voice.

"I'm sorry."

Monoma could barely understand his mother. He could hear her, but what she said made no sense. Why was she apologizing? What stirred her so much that she was apologizing?

His thoughts cut off when he heard a sniffle, and his mother moved a hand to hold his head.

"I'm sorry." She said again but in a much wobblier voice.

It felt like had time stopped, the two stuck there like statues- unmoving and unbound by time. The only movement was Monoma shifting a hand to complete the hug. He held his mother and he held on tight: an action he had wanted to do for so long.

Monoma felt like a child, holding onto his mom as she hugged him tight. It felt childish to admit that the whole time he had been cooped up in the hospital, a small piece of him wanted to hug his mother. It felt dumb too.

Neito was never close with either of his parents, his mom felt estranged to him. But in that moment everything felt...

Right. Like two pieces of a puzzle finally connected. Neito wanted nothing more than to just stay there with his mom. For a moment, for a year, for forever- it didn't matter- he just wanted to stay right there.

[urf1lterr]

lovesick | pedro pascal [3]

"and on this night and in this light i think im falling, im falling for you."

next chapter: [4] previous chapter: [2] series masterlist

summary: in which a 1975-obsessed film student accidentally falls in love with an older man she can't have.

pairing: actor!pedro x intern!reader

genre: acting world!au, big age-gap!, strangers to friends- maybe lovers?? au | angst, mature, awkward, love- eventually

word count: 5.7k

status: in progress

author's note: in my head i have a certain way this story ends- but thats farrrr from this chapter. i couldn't stop laughing while writing this. i might have to rethink my ending bc i don't wanna make this series looooong. not edited.

Brutal banging on your bedroom door was not how you imagined to be awakened, especially when you were barely endearing maybe four hours of sleep.

Jolting up, you could feel your shoulders begin to ache as your severely tangled hair got stuck on the insides of your shirt. The shades in your room being shut, you had no sunlight whatsoever so you weren't sure what time it was.

Not like you needed to be anywhere important on a Wednesday- not until later anyway. Wednesday's were your arranged day off from school so you made sure to plan something productive to not feel more useless as you already were.

Typically, you were scheduled to work on these days- but we all know how that ended.

Thinking about your unemployment status aggravated you. The same day you were told you were going to be cut was actually your last despite being scheduled for the rest of that remaining week.

Oh how you wish you could say you didn't show up because of your stubbornness.

But frankly you had covid.

Not only did that job fire you, but they gave you a thoughtful farewell gift of a deadly virus to remember them goodbye.

Guess they took their storyline a little too seriously.

However, you did receive a few texts from your old coworkers wishing you well. At first, you wondered if Finn disclosed your personal medical information after you contacted him, but Jules admitted to doing so, swearing she only told Joon with the likelihood someone overheard and the rest was history.

Sadly, you barely talked to Pedro and Bella anymore.

The duo did reach out once they discovered you were sick and Bella would occasionally send you tiktoks at the most randomly times. But again, occasionally.

Pedro, on the other hand, never got back in touch after his 'feel better' text.

You weren't exactly distraught over it, it wasn't like you two made it your mission as friends to go out every day. But the thing was, you still did that when you worked together. Barely seeing him for a few seconds on some days in the past still meant you got to see him, but now you don't.

And strangely you miss him.

You always heard your coworkers discuss how considerate and down to Earth he was whenever they managed to work with him and you agreed. All the stories of him being one of the rarest, mindful human beings were true.

He was always the one spamming you with texts, but the only messages you received now were from your roommate, Joon, or the deals sent by your favorite food places.

But you weren't going to think too much of it. He's an adult, his days are always scheduled with new projects. You can't blame him for not making time for you.

Two weeks later here you were, using your extra free time to your advantage to stay up past midnight watching shows like Hell's Kitchen while eating ramen noodles.

The only con was you had the tendency to wake up late all the time.

Yanking the warm covers off your body, you slowly slip out of bed trying not to hit your desk by how poor your vision was at the moment. Opening your door, you give daggers to the other person behind it. "Is there a reason why you felt attempting to break my door was necessary?"

Jules sheepishly smiled, lightly rubbing the door in remorse before continuing. "I just wanted to remind you about our study date!"

"That's at 11."

"It's 10:32," she replied, pulling her phone out and showing you.

Gasping, you shut the door in her face before searching for clothes to wear. How could you possibly sleep in?

Actually, it was quite easy with American Horror Story having amazing plot twists. You decided to switch up your late night shows every now and then to spice things up.

But you were certain you turned on your alarm the night before. You must have slept through them. Damn, you were turning into Jules.

Quickly running to the bathroom to take a quick shower, you managed to finish the rest of your routine with ten minutes left to spare. You were certainly glad you could always count on the city's nonstop traffic as an excuse for your late arrivals.

Once you were able to catch a cab, which was a tremendous struggle considering your hand signals weren't clear enough to apprehend, Jules and you made it to a coffee shop a few streets away.

Being your designated place to study, you had to introduce Joon to it. He was practically the fifth member of the group, the third one being one of Jules' friend you frequently talked to and the fourth being the one you shared with Joon.

The best part about this cafe would have to be that it was two stories. You guess you could say you used the upstairs room conveniently when it came to debating, definitely not being afraid to raise your voice when your friends believed disagreeing with your opinions was acceptable.

"I didn't know a triple meant three shots of espresso," Joon pulled a disgusted face as Jules and you arrived to your familiar large booth. Sliding right next to him, you saw the coffee he was drinking was extremely dark. "I thought it meant three shots of creamer."

"For a guy who is phenomenally smart, you are phenomenally stupid," you heard your shared friend, Yoongi, comment after looking up from his notes.

The next hour consisted of the five of you centralizing your attention on your individual work before you decided you wanted to buy a coffee as your energy slowly drained away.

Walking down the stairs and placing a swift order, you stood to the side of the counter waiting as they prepared it. Scrolling through your phone to pass the short time, you felt someone near you.

"Hey, covid girl!" you heard a man exclaim, causing you to rush and shush him before the customers begin giving you the eye. "Long time no see."

"Don't expose me like that! I'm negative," you flush, tapping your fingers on your face to cool it down.

"Don't expose me," he clarifies, taking two steps back. "You're the one who's sick."

"Was," you groan, not standing for his teasing this morning. "Stop messing me with me, Nick. I am just a tired, broke college student who can't take anymore mocking in their life."

Nick chuckles, not denying that may be the case. He understands how you're feeling, he was once a student and knows how stressful it can be. Honestly, he can only imagine how tough it is now compared to when he last attended.

Inflation was no joke.

"I take it you're studying?" he eyes the large black frames on your head and the thick headphones around your neck. You only nod, making him laugh. "Very studious I see, it's a shame they let you go even after I told them not to. You could've done our taxes."

Pulling a forced smile, you just raise your right shoulder slightly not really wanting to talk about it much.

"Good thing I am very understanding," you joke.

"Hell, I wouldn't be," he curses, shaking his head briskly. "The least they could've done was offer another position while we left the country."

"When are you guys leaving anyway?'"

He looks up at the ceiling, trying hard to remember the exact date before clapping his hands. "The 3rd of next month."

"Three weeks from now? Are you ready for the cold and the snow?" you laugh as he shakes his head.

"Dealt with it growing up, don't wanna do it again," he groans before a barista calls out his name for his coffee. He excuses himself for a minute, grabbing the coffee along with a few napkins before walking back to you. "Have to get back to filming, they only gave me a half an hour break before we change scenes. Good look in university, kiddo. If you ever need anything you always have my number."

With that, he retreated back outside but not before sending you one final wave. You loathed the fact you missed them, but you had to get over it.

Grabbing your coffee once your name was called, you walked back up the stairs to find your friends staring at their own laptops as if they were going to breakdown in tears any second.

"When I tell you I would rather give up one of kidneys than learn about screenwriting," Jules weeps, pulling her hair in distress. "I just wanna tell people what to do, not write stories."

And that's how your whole study session went, one of you having your own malfunctions for the next few hours before the five of you agreed to end it.

"I am going to get a refill, meet you by the door?" Jules asked as you packed up your school belongings. You nodded, allowing her to walk downstairs with her friend as you stayed behind with the two other boys.

"I need to go to the bathroom," Joon called out as the three of you were making your way down the stairs. "I'll be out in a jiffy."

With that, Yoongi and you were stuck around a large crowd of customers trying to get their coffees in this 5 o'clock chilly evening. And one thing about these customers, they loved to push.

"If one more person hits my arm a brawl will unfold," Yoongi proclaims, making sure to raise his voice a bit to make his point come across. Which did nothing as he was granted another push in his arm in return.

Moving you head towards the exit, you made it clear to Yoongi that you two were better off just waiting outside unless you wanted to continue being compressed by total strangers whose been god knows where.

Feeling Yoongi's loss of touch from your shoulder, you sensed a group of friends rudely crossing between you both in order to make it to the front of the shop.

It amazed you how people had no manners in public places.

"Ah!" you shriek, feeling somebody aimlessly hit your body hard, knocking the wind out of you as you fell on your side.

That was until arms wrapped tightly under your upper arms, barely being able to stop your whole body from touching the ground as you felt you legs lay across the cold floor.

With the strong pair of arms effectively pulling you up, it caused you to slam your body against their unknown chest as the mob of customers didn't seem to die down any time soon.

Trying to find some stability, your eyes widened as your peripheral vision was met with a broad chest that you were too scared to figure discover who it belonged to.

This could either end with you meeting the love of you life or encountering a complete weirdo.

Moving your gaze upwards, you were met with familiar brown eyes that creased slightly as a gentle smile was released.

Okay, the second option was indeed your answer.

"Pedro? You fucking scared me!" you pushed him away, slapping his chest as he whined in response, clutching it in pain. "I was going to grab my pepper spray!"

"I see you're still satan," he glared as you crossed your arms. "No 'thank you for saving my severely mentally mad life from the mass of people who could've stamped over me'?"

Expressing an infuriated expression as he scared you, you begin to walk away from him but he quickly pulls you back into his arms and stares down at you. "Why are you leaving?"

"My friends are outside," you declare as he peers over the crowd to see who you were talking about.

He glances back down at you before pushing you straight by your waist, causing you to trust his guidance as he directed you backwards until you were against one of the walls to avoid being crushed again.

"Wait, my friends-"

"You wear glasses?" he slightly grasps the frames propped on your face, generating a strike from you. "What a dweeb you are."

"Isn't this a question you can ask through text?" you remark, causing him to purse his lips at how mediocre you were being.

"Oh come on, kid! I haven't seen you in weeks, it's my right to ask questions," he defends, giving you a staggering look as you sighed.

"And my glasses were the first thing that came to mind? Very clever."

"Would you rather me ask why we say 'cool' when it's not really cold?"

Studying his face in pure boredom, you set out to march past him but he pushes your shoulders back again, forcing you to stay put. "Sorry! Just trying to lighten the mood."

Scanning past him, you tried to locate your friends but to no luck they were absent. Glancing back up at him, you take a deep breath. "I really have to go before they leave me stranded a-."

"I can take you home," he instantly speaks up. "I know where you live remember."

Laughing, you disagree with his proposal. You arrived with Jules, you were leaving with her. But you were curious as to why he hasn't left you alone. It surely couldn't be just to chat about corny jokes-

Actually, you've had many of those conversions in the past.

"Is there a reason why you aren't letting me escape?" you blurt out, making him tilt his head suspiciously, trying to figure out what you were speculating.

His body language became edgy as he motioned his palm out in front of you. "I just so happened to drop by for some coffee and ended up being tackled by you," he confessed, making you scoff. "We haven't talked for some time, I wanted to check up and see how you were doing."

"I am as happy as a clam," you let out a radiant smile, making him squint his eyes and direct them to the side.

"English, please?" he pleaded.

"It means I am very happy," you respond, standing up straighter as he questioned you longer with his eyes as if he didn't believe a single word you were saying. "Everybody knows that expression."

"They really don't," he denies, giving you an awkward smile by your strange dialogue. "Anywho, I've been wanting to talk to you."

"Then why didn't you call?" you accidentally spit out, shutting your mouth as you grasped how bitter it came out.

He caught onto the sound of your tone, registering how unhappy you must've been for abandoning you friendship after strongly bonding for two months.

But he couldn't let you believe he did it on purpose, he had a reason. One that he was finally going to disclose after fighting battles until it was finally approved. "I was preoccupied with something else, I really am sorry," he apologized. "But I was going to reach out today."

Uncomfortably shrugging, you don't put too much thought into it. You didn't want him to assume you were upset, but you had a feeling he could sense it by how tense you were becoming.

"For what?"

He looked around before averting his eyes back to your own, grinning widely. "So I think there's a chance you'd be able to get your internship back."

Standing up straighter, you stared at him dumbfounded. What the hell was he talking about?

"How? They already terminated our useless contracts," you argue. "Why hassle making another one."

"Work for me," he ignores your sour tone, getting straight to the point.

This was why he didn't have time to communicate. Too busy trying to find ways to convince his own boss to keep you, it led to him being in a bad mood after failing each attempt.

He couldn't talk to you knowing his plan went wrong.

After the constant begging, whines, and even going out of his way to format a ridiculous petition as to why you should stay, which centers all interns because he didn't want to throw himself under the bus for you- the main producer eventually gave in.

"You want me to work for you here when you're leaving the country in a few weeks?" you narrow your eyes, confused as to how that was going to work out in the end.

"I was going to sneak you into my suitcase."

"What in the world are you rambling about?" you exhaled sharply.

Pedro grinned brightly as he held onto your shoulders again, "Come with us to Canada."

"No," you quickly answer, not even processing fully but you knew it could never happen.

There was no possible way you could ever go through with this. For one, you can't even leave the country. You parents were so strict they'll probably smuggle drugs in your luggage so you'll be gunned down and locked into the country.

Second, well there really isn't another reason- your parents were enough.

"Oh come on," he whined. "It'll be great! You'll gain so much experience like you've been wanting. Plus, you'd do more hands-on work with the film crew. Think of it as a student exchange program."

"That's literally not what a student exchange program is."

"Stop rejecting the idea. You go to school here, yeah? I assume you're taking classes online because you basically lived at the studio," he implied and you slowly nodded. "We can adjust your schedule to where you'd have time to work and focus on school."

Silently looking to the table nearby, you began digesting what he was going on about. It wasn't a bad idea, but it wasn't an easy one either. "My parents would never let me."

"Give me their number and I'll convince them," he persuades and you sway you head. You wanted to laugh in his face if he really believed he could make your parents agree.

"No," you fight back, watching him exhale loudly by how restrained you were being. "I k-"

"What would Matt Healy do?"

Immediately shutting your mouth, you freeze as he catches you off guard. He did not come to play and knew you well enough to use your weaknesses against you.

He knows Matt Healy would easily agree- that man was literally the devil's spawn.

And god, you just knew Matt would be disappointed in you if you didn't go.

Curse you and your infatuation over this short English man.

Luckily, your thoughts disappeared as you felt a tap on your arm. Looking up, you see Yoongi breathing heavily as Pedro eyes him, unsure if you knew him.

"There you are, I've been looking for you everywhere! My god the lecture your friend gave me about losing you-" he groaned, shivering. "-I was certain she was gonna file a police report."

Slowly averting his eyes to the older man beside you, Yoongi's face fills with curiosity. "Hey, aren't you that one guy from that Netflix show..." he stops, looking up as he tried hard remembering the name. "Narcos!"

Pedro's eyes shoot open as he tries to innocently stretch his body, purposely blocking your view of him, "No." Secretly waving his palm across his neck, he sends Yoongi daggers to keep quiet. Stiffly turning to you, he becomes flustered. "But don't watch that show."

Raising a brow, you decide to drop the random topic and focus your attention back to your friend until you heard another person shriek. The three of you searching to where it came from, you find Namjoon stumble between people, trying his hardest not to fall face first on the floor.

"A jiffy later and I'm back," Joon winks once he's released from the mass.

Pedro scrunches his face. "Jiffy?"

Joon breaks out into smiles once he notices who was with Yoongi and you. "Oh my gosh! What are you doing here? Did you miss us that much?"

"I don't think it was you he missed," Yoongi muttered, making Pedro send him a questionable glance and Joon tilt his head, not sure what he meant.

Wanting to leave this now weirder conversation, you step forward and grab onto Yoongi's shoulder. "Let's go, I wanna breathe." Turning your attention back to Pedro, he swiftly moved his eyes from your hand to your own. "Text me if you need anything else."

"Only you," he sends you a cheeky smile making you blush by how nice he was being. Yoongi glanced at the two of you, dazed as what you two were implying.

Staring at him, you waited for him to say his farewells first so everybody could leave already. Waiting for one, you never received anything but his quiet stance and gaze stuck on you.

It felt strange not feeling the strength to walk away- not even the strength but the need to go anymore as you couldn't take your eyes off him. It also wasn't only you as he couldn't help but bear comfort from the sight of you.

It felt like the both of you were interacting to each other in your minds.

"Are you having a staring contest?" Joon questioned, making your your consciousness come back to life as you looked back at him. Pedro's gaze weakened, but they were still on you as yours was unfortunately long forgotten.

"No," you laughed, now gripping onto Yoongi harder. "But seriously, let's get out of here. See you whenever, Pedro."

Watching as you stayed close to your guy friends in hopes of being secured through the populated room, he sighed to himself. He was sure your friends might confess their own intuitions to you and perceive him as a creep.

The sad part was he knew why your particular friend would have his suspicions. He never knew his age would have that much of an effect, but he never hung out with people that young before unless it was for a project.

Shaking these thoughts away from his head, he chuckled to himself. He shouldn't care about what other people thought, the two of you never engaged in anything but friendly encounters.

He just despised his gut feeling as if he was doing something wrong. People are making him feel this way, that was guaranteed.

But he feels awful how he keeps trying to find ways to see you, too embarrassed to think about the things he done just to see you for not even a minute.

He's just never had a friend like you before. It was nice.

"I can't believe he's offering us a job like that!" Jules exclaimed as Joon and you nodded. Yoongi lived in the opposite direction so he made his departure a few minutes ago as well as her friend. "I can't go."

Widening your eyes, you stared at her. "What? Why?"

She laughs before pointing at herself. "You think I'll be able to properly manage school and work in another country? I barely did that these last two months- I'll just be partying it up at hockey games eating gravy with fries."

"You mean poutine," Joon corrected.

"Same thing," she rolled her eyes. "All I'm saying is, being home made me realize how much I love sleeping. I would rather give that up when I graduate and actually have a real adult job."

She did have a point, she really enjoyed her naps.

"I'll consider it," Joon spoke up, putting his hands inside his hoodie as the three of you continued walking. "Doesn't sound too bad, it'll look good on resumes."

Smiling, you nodded. You weren't sure why you even dared to be happy about this when you were the one wanting nothing to do with the idea not even a half an hour ago.

You just knew your lord was giving you a disapproving glare from the clouds.

Within the next 20 minutes, Joon went his separate way home as Jules and you arrived in front of your shared apartment. Rushing to the bathroom, your roommate excused herself for the next hour for her 'needed' relaxation.

In other words, a bubble bath.

Turning on the tv, you sat down on the couch swiping through boring news channels until you decided to switch to Netflix. You still had to make time for Evan Peters before the night ended.

Clicking on the current season you were on, Freak Show, you began thinking about how massive Evan Peter's hands were. How can his girlfriends survive.

The thought freaked you out, this really was a freak show.

Soon, the next episode began featuring Twisty the clown more and you were terrified by how huge he was. He could crush you with a flick of his fingers.

Knocks on your door alarmed you, making you slightly jump and look towards the bathroom. Your roommate's music was softly playing in the background meaning she probably couldn't hear the blows on the door.

Slowly standing up, you grab the bat you keep near the door, in case someone tries viciously murdering you in your doorway, and go on your tiptoes to see what kind of stranger needed to pay a visit in the middle of the night.

Well, it wasn't even 7 o'clock in the evening yet but you get the point.

Gasping at the sight presented through your little peep hole, you promptly unlock the handles before extending the large door wide. "And why exactly are you here? Miss me that much?" you tease.

Not receiving an answer, you scoff. "Are you really giving me the silent treatment? You're hurting my feelings."

When he didn't react to that either, you felt your face drop. Slowly striding towards him, you notice his head was low as he stared at his shoes. Placing your right palm softly on his left shoulder, you felt him glance up.

Did something happen during your short time apart? Was he in trouble?

Knowing it was really you in front of him, Pedro lunged his body onto yours before you could stop and think about what was happening. Colliding his lips upon yours, you felt your thoughts drift away as he steadily moved forward and made his way inside your warm apartment.

Stopping to swiftly shut the door, you had no time to take in a full breathe before his mouth found yours again. Clutching the back of his head, probably pulling his hair out, you groan as his nails claw your exposed waist, your shirt slowly inching up more and more as the seconds went up. Slipping his tongue inside you, you felt the way his nose hit yours as dominance took over.

He wanted to control all of you.

It wasn't until your legs began wobbling from the long standing when his hands lost your waist, instantly making contact with the back of your thighs, squeezing them, soon allowing them to suffocate his sides. Following his lead, you pull your lips back before diving them to the corner of his jaw as he groaned, walking to god knows where.

You figured out where once you shrieked as your back made contact with your couch, his palms widening your legs in a hurry before situating himself on top of you. Surprisingly, the difference of weight wasn't an issue as he clinged harder against you, moving his hand behind your neck to pull it down, making sure to make you feel the pain of the slight hair tugging.

"What are y-" you softly choke, voice coming out in whimpers as he ignored you. Latching his lips to the top of your chin, he stuck his tongue out, dragging it gradually down your neck as your back arched, needing to feel closer to him if that was even possible. Your wish was his command as he hastily pressed himself against you, making you groan in surprise.

Making his way lower, he passes your neck down to your chest while his hands found their to your collarbone, smoothly rubbing the area up and down before clutching onto it harshly as he continue down his path. Something about the way his soft fingertips applying pressure near your neck as his lips kept kissing the rest of your body had you in wonders. You couldn't believe this was happening.

It wasn't until you felt his mouth near your exposed waist that made you completely lose it. You had long forgotten that Jules was in the room next door when you gasped, feeling his teeth swipe against your skin. "Shhh," he whispered against your lips as a way to silence you. "Don't want to let your friend know I'm here now, do we?"

You could only stammer shaky sounds as he planted a few more deep kisses, slowly pulling away and feeling the wetness of both your mouths descend down. He gave you one last dark gaze before returning his mouth on yours, loving the feeling of the dampness between your faces.

His mouth opening wider, he began intensively tasting you, swiping his tongue around your lips as you tried to keep up with his eagerness. Not giving you much time to catch his pace, you could feel how wet he was making you.

No, he was literally drowning your face.

Pulling back, you squint your eyes and take a few seconds to adjust to the poor lighting in your living room. You were met with dark, green eyes.

Lady Gaga.

Shrieking, you grab the black, green-eyed demon on top of you and throw her off, causing her to let out a loud hiss with the immediate sounds of footsteps following afterwards.

"Lady Gaga!" you hear Jules squeal in her pink robe, wrapping the nauseating cat in her arms before turning to you, giving you a look of rage. "Did you throw her?!"

"She licked me!"

Jules scoffed harshly before hurling a nearby pillow at you, allowing it to hit your face in full force before stomping back to her door and violently slamming it shut.

You fucking hated that cat.

Laying back against the couch, you rubbed your red face in humiliation. Not only did you have an intense dream about Pedro but you're pretty sure you just had a full on make-out session with a cat.

Groaning, you couldn't believe what was happening to you. Why would you dream about him-

No- why would you have one doing not so child friendly activities?!

You just know you'll never be able to face him with a straight face, too embarrassed to even be near him now without thinking about this moment.

It wasn't even like you thought about him in that way- you didn't.

Maybe your time of the month was approaching or you were in desperate need of a date because there's no way any normal human being would fantasize over some older man that way.

Okay, maybe it was possible.

But that was definitely not you...even though you just did. Although, you did see the comparison between him and Lady Gaga.

They looked kind of alike- right? Same whiskers.

One thing that was certain was you were never going to tell anybody about this. If people believed for one second you had feelings for him, which you don't, you'll never hear the end of it.

He was not your type nor close to your age. It would never happen.

Sighing, you close your eyes and silently send out a prayer to not engage in another session with the demonic cat. Maybe sleep will make you think clearly once awoken and abolish all these wild concepts floating through your head.

But once you were actually awoken, your mind still wasn't clear- or maybe it was because the pounding on your door ultimately pulled you from your slumber.

Stretching your arms, you scratch the top of your head as you try to open your eyes but it was no use, you were way too tired to fully engage with anybody right now.

Completely avoiding looking through the peep hole, which was a red flag on your part, you swing the door open to find a man who looked like Pedro standing on the other side of it.

Groaning aloud, you slap yourself as he takes this by surprised, not sure why you just did that.

How are you having another dream about him? Was this the bad luck needed after scoring tickets to your favorite band? Is this some kind of sick revenge someone has against you?

Pointing at Lady Gaga, who was dressed up as Pedro, you rudely spit out the words needed to be said. "You are just a cat. Nothing happened between us."

With that, you step back inside, ignoring Lady Gaga's attempts of trying to gain your attention by waving their arms in front of you. Making your way to your room, you see Jules walk out of hers.

"Who was that at the door?" she questions, hearing another round of knocks appear.

You tiredly wave your hand in nonsense, denying that thought. "It was Lady Gaga, go back to bed."

Jules sends you a bewildered look as you enter your bedroom and face-plant on your cozy bed, allowing sleep to reel you back in. Turning her head, she looks at Lady Gaga who was sitting casually by her bedroom door.

"She is turning fucking nuts," she whispers to herself before swiftly opening the door to reveal a very confused Pedro. "What's up?"

Pedro's concerned face takes over his actions as he jumps to his eager questions. "Is y/n okay? She thought I was a cat."

Jules shrugs, rubbing her eyes with her palm. "Who knows, I think she's getting over her coffee hangover."

Pedro carefully nods, still skeptical as to what happened to you. What did you mean nothing happened between you two? Did something happen that he wasn't aware of?

Were you hiding something from him?

Gracelessly gesturing his leave, Pedro walked quickly down the hall as Jules stood there for a moment too tired to comprehend why he paid the apartment a visit this early in the morning. The sun was barely out, why did he come?

After shutting the door and taking a seat on the couch, she laid back and stared at the ceiling. She couldn't quite put her finger on it, but for some reason a strange intellect emerged out of nowhere.

She shrugged it off, instantaneously knocking out, too exhausted to conquer her suspicions.

+

taglist: @thesapphirequeen @floralsightings @wrathofcats

[babybluebex]

ugh dominic x famous! reader is stuck in my head!! like imagine you're a celeb or singer being asked in an interview who your celebrity crush is or what not and answering dom just to shoot your shot!!! BECAUSE WHO WOULDNT!!!

oh god yeah, i have this fantasy of being a singer, something like very pop princess, sabrina carpenter coded, and you're gaining a LOT of fame in the past few months (idk maybe you were an opener on the eras tour, i haven't fleshed out the idea entirely), and you do like that wired autocomplete interview, and one of the questions is "y/n celebrity crush" and you giggle "is this asking who mine is, or is it saying i'm someone's celebrity crush?" and you smile "i mean, my celebrity crush.... i think i 100% would say dominic sessa, the guy from the holdovers... he's a good actor, and he's pretty cute" and you hold your hand to your face like a phone and mouth call me, and then move on

and you see wired post that clip on their instagram, just the clip of you saying that dom's your celeb crush, and you think nothing about it, until you see that dom posted the clip on his instagram story and he put a little caption that's like "📞📞📞" and you're like. is he saying to hit him up? is he saying he's gonna hit me up?

and you message him on instagram, just a quick and funny little "i guess you're cute or whateva 🙄" and he messages back very quickly "i can't even pretend to be cool, thanks for shouting me out" and a quick second message "my sister bella told me to tell you that she loves your music, and she went to your show when you were in east rutherford with taylor swift" and you text "did you go to that show?" "nah i couldn't, i was still in school then and had exams that week" "hmm. we gotta get you to a show sometime"

fast forward to a few months later, when you're opening in milan for taylor, and you see people on social media saying that dom's there in the vip tent, exchanging friendship bracelets with them, and you shoot your boyfriend a text before you go onstage "are you getting bracelets for me, or is it all about taytay?" and he texts back "i'm not accepting any taylor bracelets, i only ask for ones about you <3" and even though you hadn't yet announced your relationship, you know that everybody he's getting bracelets from certainly has figured it out

[pink-sparkly-witch]

The One That Got Away - Chapter Sixteen

Warnings: language, angst.

Pairing: Firefighter!Dean Winchester x Female Reader

Word count: 2.2k

A/N: I didn’t have a beta for this, so all mistakes are mine.

You can catch up here!

 My Masterlist AO3    Ko-Fi

Another three weeks had passed, and Y/N willed their bad luck wouldn’t strike again tonight. Their last attempt at a second date saw her bedridden with the flu and doubly miserable at another failed attempt to rekindle a relationship with Dean. He had been understanding and told her to rest and drink plenty of fluids, but she knew he must be just as frustrated as she was that Lady Luck seemed to have abandoned all hope on their second chance.

Today though, Y/N felt fit and healthy, Dean wasn’t on shift, and she was spending hers in an empty office catching up on paperwork and overtime claims. She’d instructed her staff to only disturb her if it was absolutely necessary. If things finally went their way, neither should be stuck or injured at work this time, and that thought gave her hope that this would finally be it.

Dean was full of nervous energy and decided the best way to use it up was to give Baby a long overdue tune-up, clean and polish. It was perfect timing, too, because then she would be looking her best when he took Y/N out to the fanciest restaurant Lawrence had to offer, and by the time he was finished, he’d be a few hours closer to his date with Y/N; it was a win-win.

He wasn’t surprised she’d gotten sick and had to cancel last time. The whole day fate hadn’t been working in his favour, so when her text came through, it was the cherry on top of what had been a really fucking shitty day. When he called her later to see how she was, she sounded dreadful, and he’d immediately offered to come over and look after her. Y/N declined, saying all that would achieve was him getting sick too, and then their date would have to be postponed for even longer.

Knowing Y/N was working today made him a little apprehensive that something would crop up at the last second and force another rain check. Still, he was trying to keep that niggling thought buried. And so, with a coffee-filled travel mug, Dean made his way outside with his tools and got to work sprucing up his second best girl.

Her message came in at 4pm.

Y/NCheck the news. I’m so sorry, De xx

Dean closed his eyes in frustration and huffed loudly at their atrocious luck. Turning on the news, he watched the aftermath of an overturned lorry on the freeway, blocking the road in both directions and multiple vehicles colliding with it or other vehicles.

“So far,” the news anchor reported, “there have been five fatalities and over twenty people with injuries of varying severity, and several people are still trapped in their vehicles. Emergency workers are doing all they can to free them, with relief crews being called in to assist.

“Meanwhile, Lawrence Memorial Hospital is nearing its emergency patient capacity and has set up an outdoor triage area for the walking wounded, keeping the hospital building free for those with more serious injuries that need attending to.”

His cell rang shortly after, and Dean was only briefly disappointed that it wasn’t Y/N. He knew she’d be swamped, and he probably wouldn’t hear from her until everyone from the accident had been treated. Still, he had a sliver of hope that it might’ve been her.

“Bobby, I just saw the news,” Dean answered the call.

“So you know why I’m calling?” Bobby said, his question rhetorical. “I’m sorry to ask you to work when you’re supposed to have plans tonight…”

“It’s fine. Y/N’s on shift and already sent me a text cancelling. It’ll be all hands on deck at the hospital, so I might as well come in. At least it’ll stop me from drowning my sorrows,” Dean chuckled sadly.

“I’m sorry, Dean. I’m sure you’ll get that date soon,” Bobby replied, but right now, that wasn’t much comfort to the younger man.

“I’m starting to think we should just cut our losses. Maybe something’s trying to tell us something,” Dean scoffed.

“Dean-”

“I’m on my way. I’ll be there in ten,” Dean cut in, not feeling in the mood to hear another person say how perfect they were for each other when the simple task of going on a date seemed impossible.

It would be a long night, but at least he’d have work to keep him from spiralling down the self-depreciation hole he usually did when Y/N had to cancel plans.

With all trapped persons rescued and the accident site secured by police and awaiting cleanup, Dean’s Firehouse had been posted to the triage area at the hospital to help wherever possible. They were giving first aid, handing out food and water, and checking up on patients in the hospital on behalf of concerned family and friends who were outside waiting for news of their loved ones.

He’d even got to speak to Y/N briefly a few times, and those little moments of light in what was otherwise a dark situation had kept his spirits up. And now that the last few patients were being treated, he finally felt he could breathe easier. Maybe, he’d even be able to convince Y/N to go for a bite to eat before they both went home and slept.

Trawling through the hospital’s hallways, Dean’s only focus was finding the nurse who was slowly taking hold of his heart again and taking up most of his thoughts since coming back to town. He almost missed her as he turned another corner and walked down another corridor.

Stepping back to the room he’d just passed, Dean paused at the window, praying he was wrong and that the woman sitting on the floor, arms crossed over her legs and head on her knees, wasn’t Y/N. Opening the door and quietly stepping into the room, his heart ached at the realisation that it was her and that the usually strong and kept-together nurse was in tears.

“Hey, Princess, what’s the matter?” Dean asked, making his way over and crouching in front of her. Y/N looked at him, eyes red and puffy, her cheeks wet with tears, and he threw all caution to the wind as he sat beside her, pulled her into his lap, and wrapped his arms around her.

They remained embraced on the floor for a while before Y/N’s tears stopped, and she’d stopped gasping in shallow breaths between her heartwrenching sobs. Dean was at a loss on what to do at first, but then he remembered that this was Y/N. His Y/N. And though she was stronger than she looked and more capable than people gave her credit for, sometimes the only way she could process her emotions was to cry.

“Sorry, I needed that,” Y/N eventually spoke and wiped at her eyes. “Days like this, when we lose so many people, never get easier to process. Sometimes I just need a little time to cry it all out.”

“No need to explain to me, Princess. I’ve known you my whole life, and I know that if you don’t let it out now, it’ll eat away at you and eventually consume you. I’ll always be here to ground you whenever you feel like that, alright?”

“Thank, De,” she sniffled and smiled softly at him. “I suppose we should get back out there, huh?”

“In a few minutes. The last patients are being treated, and Ellen, Jody, and Bobby have called a staff briefing at 5am. We’ve got a little time to calm you down some more,” Dean kissed her forehead and smiled, wrapping his arms around her a little tighter and pulling her into his body a little closer.

After urging everyone who’d gathered for the briefing in the hospital canteen to have something to eat before they went home, Dr Ellen Harvelle, Charge Nurse Rowena Macleod, Sheriff Jody Mills, and Fire Chief Bobby Singer thanked their staff for the exceptional job they’d all done in the face of such tragedy and dismissed them from their duties. Reserve police officers and firefighters had started their shifts early to allow those who’d worked all night to go home and rest.

The doctors, nurses and hospital staff who’d been on shift when the accident happened or been called in as backup would be relieved by those who’d either volunteered to stay and work a double shift or agreed to come in on a rest day.

Dean got to have breakfast with Y/N after all, but they were joined by Benny, Bobby, and Jody. He couldn’t complain, though, as he saw the smile come back to Y/N’s face as she talked to Jody and playfully rolled her eyes at Benny’s southern charm and blatant flirting. Dean didn’t rise to the Cajun’s bait, knowing that was exactly what he wanted.

“Now, I know you’re a workaholic, Y/N, but please tell me you didn’t volunteer to stay on?” Uncle Bobby asked with the stern look that never made her listen to him when she was a child and certainly wouldn’t make her listen to him now.

“No, I didn’t. I’ve been working for…” Y/N glanced at the fob watch attached to her scrub top pocket, “twenty-three and half hours. If I stay any longer, I would be endangering the patients, particularly because I haven’t had a break, let alone any sleep.”

“Good. You look like death warmed up,” Bobby stated before shovelling a forkful of scrambled eggs into his mouth.

“Yeah…” Y/N sighed and rubbed a hand down her face. “I feel like it too.”

“Go home, honey, before you fall asleep at the table!” Jody chuckled, and Y/N responded with a lopsided smile before grabbing the empty plate and used cutlery and standing from her seat.

“Alright, I’m going! Uncle Bobby, Jody, I’ll see you Sunday. Benny, it was nice to see you again,” she smiled tiredly at the blue-eyed man.

“You too, cher. Take care of yourself, you hear?” Benny winked at her before digging back into his breakfast.

Dean stood and lifted his used dishes and walked with her to place them on the counter, which was home to all the used crockery. “You doing okay, Y/N?”

“Yeah, nothing a hot shower and a decent sleep won’t fix,” she smiled.

“Alright. Call me later, once you’ve had some sleep?” Dean asked with a raised brow.

“Of course,” she smiled. “I hope you’re going home to get some sleep too?”

“Yeah, we’ll probably have another debrief back at the firehouse, then, I am going home and crawling straight into bed,” he chuckled at her smile of approval and with a final farewell, Y/N left the hospital canteen, grabbed her purse from her locker and went home to sleep.

Waking up hours later when the sun had gone down, Y/N lay in bed trying to process everything that had happened the past few days. It was always tragic when they lost a patient, and serious incidents like yesterday were awful and never got easier to deal with. In moments like this, it was easier to think of the tens of patients they saved than the six they had lost.

The next thing to cross her mind was Dean. Y/N had been glad he was posted at the hospital because she was really starting to miss him. The first couple of times they couldn’t go on their date, she’d still been able to see him, but she hadn’t seen him in twelve days because she’d been so ill with flu, and she didn’t want Dean to see her like that. Sure, it might have been extremely vain of her to think that way, but she felt it was too soon to be at her absolute worst with him.

Y/N was also disappointed that things kept coming up. Granted, neither of them had chosen what happened to stall progress on their budding relationship. No one could’ve predicted her father would die right after their first date and put any thought of another date onto the back burner for weeks.

Neither of them could’ve guessed that Jess would need to finish work early and Y/N would need to be the one to take her shift, nor could Dean or her have done anything to stop Cas from getting injured on a call. And there was no way either could have foreseen what happened yesterday, resulting in them having to work.

Suddenly, she had an overwhelming pang in her chest and a strong urge to be with him, to say to hell with the fates, dates, plans, and schedules. She just needed to be with him. Needed him.

Knowing Dean wouldn’t be working after pulling an all-night shift, Y/N threw the bed covers off her body and showered. She was going to go over. Who needed a date anyway? She and Dean had been on hundreds of those and, she hoped, would go on hundreds more.

This was no longer about want for Y/N. It was about need.

Next Chapter >>

Tags: @acitygrownwillow @akshi8278 @ashbatz @candy-coated-misery0731 @chriszgirl92 @deans-baby-momma @deans-spinster-witch @deansbbyx @deanwanddamons @duncanhillscoffeecups @foxyjwls007 @giggles1026 @globetrotter28 @hobby27 @hoboal87 @impala67rollingthroughtown @iprobablyshipit91 @jackles010378 @jamerlynn @jc-winchester @k-slla @kazsrm67 @kmc1989 @lacilou @ladysparkles78 @leigh70 @lyarr24 @maliburenee @michecolegate @mrsjenniferwinchester @nancymcl @negans-lucille-tblr @nelachu2423 @octoberclidan @perpetualabsurdity @roseblue373 @sandlee44 @sexyvixen7 @snackles87 @spnbaby-67 @spnwoman @stixnstripesworld @stoneyggirl2 @suckitands33 @synmorite @tristanrosspada-ackles @twinkleinadiamondsky @waters-2567 @winchestergirl1720

[baby-alien11]

Anniversary (Y/N Ulrich Universe)

taglist: @volturi-girl-imagines @dessxoxsworld @camiesully @ethanlandryluver @nowitsmissing @aliciacat20 @gabbylovesreading @nikfigueiredo

Late august, 2022

After nearly two months of filming, the production of Scream VI ended and to celebrate, a wrap party was organized on the terrace of the building were everyone had been living, which had a similar vibe to all the mini parties, game nights and dinners that were held there, but this would be the last time everyone will be in the same place until the premiere in march

During the time in Montreal, you spend it with your dad, the cast, and most important, Jack (and his mom)

Since the moment both of you talked for the first time in the welcome party and then the first date, both of you became inseparable feeling an instant conection since those first moments, and now with end of filming you were going to miss seeing him everyday, yes, the calls and text exist but it wouldn't be the same

That night was being a blast until the moment with all the food, drinks, dancing, karaoke and everyone in nice outfits (your choice for that night was a pastel pink tank top, a black tennis skirt, platform ankle black boots and your southside serpents jacket and your hair in a half up ponytail with a pink ribbon)

"Hey, can we talk in a more private place?", Jack asked you with his hand on your back while the karaoke continued

"Yeah, sure", you nodded

Leaving the empty glasses that once had virgin coktails on a table near them, Jack guided both of you, with his hand still on your back, to a little private part of the terrace, which was a small corner that was more or less covered by some plants and flowers

"So, what do you want to talk about?", you asked with an eager smile

"I like you", those three words that just came out of his mouth were enoough to make your breath get stuck in your throat, "Since the first time we talked to our first date to this day, I've been developing feelings towards you, and I know it's only two months and a half since we met, but I feel a strong conection between us and you know -"

"Jack", you interrupted him mid speach at what he looked at you like a deer in headlights, "Oel ngati kameie", you said refering to that phrase of Avatar that you learned the meaning and how to pronounce it when both of you watched the movie in his room after you told him that you hadn't seen it, "I like you too, I've been feeling this since our first days together, but I didn't say anything because I didn't know if you felt the same, but I'm glad we feel the same"

"Yeah, me too", Jack nodded followed by small laughter between both of you, "Do you want to be my girlfriend?"

"I would love to", you smiled

Asking for permission to kiss you which was granted, Jack took your cheeks with his hands to bring close your faces while you put your hands on his waist due to the height difference, finally connecting their lips in a kiss that lasted a few seconds, until both of you listened the start of a song that made you separate but still keep your faces close to each other

"They really put 'Lover' right now?", you laughed

"I kinda tell Mason what I was planning", Jack explained, "So it must be him who put the song"

Still laughing, both of you shared another kiss before joining hands to go back to the others

Late august, 2023

Now, a year later, you were currently in the floor of your room preparing the box that was going to serve as the package for the gifts you bought two weeks prior, while Tatum played with one of her toys in your lap

After seeing a tik tok about a girl doing a box that the moment you remove the top it will open revealing a bunch of photos and sweet messages, you decided to try to do it, so now you were surrounded by the box, printed photos of both of you and things that connected you, scissors, glue, markers, paper and your laptop open in Pinterest while your playlist was sounding in a medium volume

"Tornado, everything good?", Skeet asked entering your room with a glass of orange juice, "Need some help?"

"I'm good at the moment, thank you dad", you said taking the glass to drink it, "What do you think about the box?"

"It looks nice", Skeet responded sitting on the floor next to you paying attention to the screen, "Are you searching photos of both of you on Pinterest? Why?"

"Because, for every photo I had of Jack and I on my phone there are twenty on Pinterest, some that I didn't know they existed, and also I'm putting some fanarts"

"People are doing fanarts of both of you? That's great"

"I know, my favorite is one of us in our looks of the Scream premiere but with ghostface masks, I'll send it to you later"

"At least it isn't a blanket with Jack's face on it", Skeet joked refering to the gift a fan gave you during the Fan Expo in Denver

"That was creative", you laughed taking a glance of the blanket that was laying on your bed, "And still want to know the reaction of the page when that girl ordered it"

"You should do the same"

"I don't have enough time for that, and I'm saving that for his birthday"

"What did you get him again?"

"A little chain with my initial and a stuffed baby cow, because he sent me a tik tok about them saying they were so cute, and the box of course"

"Even if all my relationships with your mom, Amelia, Rose, Lucy and other girlfriends didn't work, I'm happy that you and your siblings are in happy and healthy relationships with amazing people"

"Dad, you are going to make me cry and the tears are going to fall on the pictures, and I'd have to print them again", you joked making him laugh, "But thank you, I really apreciate it"

"It's what I'm here for", Skeet simplified getting up from the ground with the help of your vanity chair, "I'm going to buy some things, do you need something?"

"I'm running out of pads and tampons, you remember the brand and type I use?"

"I got it on my note app"

"Okay, thanks dad, and can you buy me a pumpkin spice latte with little ice and a pup cup for Tatum, please?"

"I'll see what I can do"

"Thank you", you exclaimed while he was already out of your room, "You're the best!"

When the day arrived, you woke up thanks to your phone ringing by a videocall from Jack which you answered still a little asleep, but still the call lasted for at least an hour until both of you had to go to prepare everything for the afternoon

And even so, he still did not tell you where you would go

"Wear something pretty", was the only thing he said

So, thanks to that only information and thanks to a shopping spree you made that same week, you got a blue with small flowers sundress to wear no matter the place he took you, straightened your hair adding a pearl headband, did your make up, added accessories and prepared your bag with your things, and the only thing left was the choice of shoes

"Dad, what shoes do I wear, the pink heeled sandals or the white nike sneakers?", you asked standing in the stairs with both shoes in hands while Tatum went down to climb onto the kitchen island, "I don't know where is he taking me, so I'm kind in a crisis right now"

"First, you look nice, second, both will look good but if you are going to walk a lot, the sneakers, if it's going to be somewhere relaxed were you are going to be sitting, the heeled ones", Skeet responded giving Tatum some fruit, "Which bag are you going to take?"

"The white Lady Dior, the one they sent me on my birthday"

"That one matches with everything"

"Dad, you're not helping", you cried going back to your room

"You cannot scape now", Skeet said looking at the orange cat, "It's too late for that"

Twenty minutes later, the door was knocked at what Skeet went to answer, seeing Jack with a bouquet of flowers on the other side smiling

"Hi", Jack greeted

"Hey kid", Skeet returned the greeting letting him enter the house, "You look good"

"Thanks, I'm going to take her to Pacific Park to recreate our first date, so I wanted to wear something comfortable", Jack said aproaching Tatum to scratch her between her ears

With that new information, Skeet aproached the start of the stairs

"Tornado, use the sneakers!"

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, trust me", was the last thing Skeet said before returning to the kitchen area, "She's coming in a minute, do you want something, water?"

"Sure, thanks", Jack nodded

"So, an amusement park, just like La Ronde back in Montreal?", Skeet asked

"Yeah, that was our first date and was special so I thought that going again to an amusement park was the right thing"

"Except for the part that there won't be adults this time", Skeet joked causing Jack to laugh, "You know I'm not a strict dad, but I want her here at midnight, and if you feel tired to drive to your house you can stay here to sleep, understood?"

"Totally", Jack nodded

"I'm ready!", you anounced getting down from the stairs with a white jean jacket, your purse and the box gift in your arms, "Sorry for the delay, I had a small fashion emergency"

"Don't worry, it's okay", Jack smiled looking at your whole look, "You look amazing"

"Thanks, you look handsome as well", you smiled looking at him

"These are for you", Jack said handing you the bouquet of flowers

"They're gorgeous, thank you", you responded taking them in your hands

"Kids, before you go I want to take some photos", Skeet interrupted the moment taking his phone out, "Don't worry about the flowers, I'll put them in water"

Leaving your things on the kitchen counter, both of you stand in the living room, the window ot the backyard and in the backyard for some photos, before going to the date

"So, where are we going?", you asked once the car started

"Somewhere", was Jack's only response before starting the way towards Pacific Park

When the amusment park started to be on sight, you turned to look at Jack with a big smile on your face, while he had the same expression occuping an empty parking space

"An amusment park?", you asked still smiling

"Yeah, do you like it?"

"I love it!"

Leaving the gift boxes in the trunk to open them later, both of you walked inside the park noticing it was a quiet night with not many people in there

"Where do you want to go first?", Jack asked

"Maybe the rollercoaster", you suggested, "I mean, so we can eat peacefully after that"

"That's a great idea", Jack agreeded, "We don't need to throw up again"

"No we don't", you laughed

Hand in hand, both of you walked to the rollercoaster to stand in line and wait until it was your turn to ride the game, taking advantage of the wait line to take some pictures and videos

After being in the ride and concluding it wasn't as intense as the same in Montreal, the route along other rides and games continued, in which he won a stuffed turtle that he gave to you, and later when you won a boba tea plushie that you gave to him

Taking a small break to eat, both of you decided to get two types of pizza to share and two sodas

"This has been fun", you commented taking a sip of your cherry soda

"And we don't have to worry about throwing up", Jack joked, "I was so embarrased after that"

"I was worse", you laughed, "The first thing we did after the ride ended was run to the closest trash can and throw up, not even different one, it was the same"

"Our parents stood there for a few seconds before helping us, and then after we finished they left us sitting on a bench to get some water, and we started to laugh"

"The next morning we didn't left our rooms because we felt sick", you finished, "I can't believe it's been already a year"

"Time flies", Jack nodded, "Remember when we kept the relationship private?"

"Three and a half months, it was fun because everyone was keeping the secret with us"

"And when we went public everyone was more relaxed"

Interrupting the moment, your phone started to sound at what you pulled it out noticing it it was Scott wanting to do a videocall

"Should I answer?", you asked Jack, "We're on our anniversay date"

"It might be important", Jack shrugged

Sighing, you anwered the call focusing both of you faces, seeing Scott face a few seconds later

"Hey mom and dad", Scott greeted, "Happy anniversary"

"Hey, my child", you greeted, "And thank you"

"What's up?", Jack spoke, "Everything good?"

"Yeah, sorry for interrupting your date but I needed to tell you this", Scott said, "I know it's still august and that, but I'm going to be in town for the Halloween weekend and I decided to throw a party"

"Sounds cool", Jack smiled

"I already told the others, and I'm assigning themes per person, couple or group, yours is Scream"

"This was intentional, right?", you joked

"Of course it was", Scott laughed, "And I don't want to see you repeating your looks of this last movie, you're an influencer/VFX make up artist and you're an actor, I need to see creativity!"

"We'll do our best", you promised, "Wait a second, did you call me an influencer?"

"Honey, you've been one since the day you hit ten thousand followers on instagram", Scott justified, "Now you have more than two million there and a million on tik tok, you are one"

"Can I bring some friends?", Jack asked

"Of course, the more the merrier", Scott exclaimed, "But I need their names for the list"

"Willa and Romeo"

"So, you're following Heidi Klum party style?", you joked

"I don't want people I don't know or like in my house, K and B for example", Scott explained, "But after you ended them on the late prom they won't dare to be in the same space as you, by the way, I'm going to assign Willa and Romeo Barbie as a theme"

"Okay, we'll let them know", you nodded

After saying goodbye and ending the call, both of you finished eating and continued with some relaxed attractions, until it was half an hour to the closure time that both of you decided to go to a more comfortable place to open the gifts which was a small picnic table next to some food stands in the Santa Monica pier

"Here's your gift", Jack smiled sliding a big soft yellow box towards you

"And here's yours", you also smiled sliding the big blue box you spend almost a week making towards him, "Want to start?"

"Sure", Jack nodded

Standing from the table to lift the top, the box openned from the four sides revealing the baby cow with the medium jewerly box and al the pictures and words on the interior

"This is incredible", Jack exclaimed examining the box causing your smile to increase, "I love it, the baby cow plushie is so cute"

"The tik tok you sent me of baby cows and how cute they were were the reason I bought it", you explained, "The box was also an idea I saw on there and I thought it was so creative that I had to do it"

"It's so beautiful, thank you so much gorgeous"

Taking the jewerly box in this hands, Jack openned it to see a delicate gold chain with your initial in a small size so it will be comfortable to wear

Without saying a word, Jack was quick to walk to you and take your cheeks to kiss you, at what you responded placing your hands on his neck

"I love this so much, and I love you", Jack said the moment the kiss ended, "Can you help me put it on?"

Nodding, you stand up from your seat, while he sat in your side of the bench, to retire the collar from the box and put it around his neck securing the clasp

"There it is", you said, "How does it feel?"

"It's perfect", Jack responded, "It's your turn now to open it"

Still smiling, you sat by his side to open your gift box, revealing an himalayan salt lamp, a jellycat of a bashful sloth and a jewerly box

"It's the salt lamp that I saw once on instagram", you exclaimed taking it out to examine it, "It's beautiful"

"I know you'll love it", Jack smiled, "And also a jellycat of one of your favorite animals"

"You're killing me of love", you exclaimed making him laugh

Taking the jewerly box, you openned it to reveal a gold chain with his initial

"No way we thought the same for the gifts", you joked sitting on the bench again

"You almost all the time are singing 'Call It What You Want' and that part of the song was the one that made me gift you the collar", Jack explained, "After I saw your gift I realised that we are completely connected because we thought the same to give each other"

"I love it", you smiled, "Can you help me to put it?"

Nodding, Jack took the neckale from your hands while you pullep up your hair so it would be easy to put it

After he finished putting it, both of you shared a kiss before sitting there and contemplate the view with your head on his shoulder and his on top of yours with your hands intervined

"Jack, oel ngati kameie"

"Oel ngati kameie, Y/N"

jackchampion, helloimpresleycash, addisonraee, and 119, 024 more

one year together which has been the best of my life, thank you for being by my side in everything, i love you

yn.ulrich I want to wear his initial

On a chain 'round my neck, chain 'round my neck

Not because he owns me

But 'cause he really knows me

tagged jackchampion

jackchampion love you gorgeous

› yn.ulrich love you babe

user753 STOP! THEY'RE SO CUTE!

skeetulrich kids, i'm happy that you found each other

user784 wait a minute, they've been together for a year??

› user038 yeah, they said they got together since the wrap party of scream vi

misstrinitybliss love you guys

user1389 did someone notice that she used a lyric from reputation and pressley liked the post??

› user22 and she has a snake tattoo, and her favorite era is reputation 👀

yn.ulrich, masonthegooding, camimendes and 129, 405 more

i can't believe it's already been a year since we've been together (one year and two months and a half since we met), i guess it's true when they said that time flies when you're in love

jackchampion Look in my eyes, they will tell you the truth

The girl in my story has always been you

I'd go down with the Titanic, it's true, for you, lover

tagged yn.ulrich

yn.ulrich i love you so so much

› jackchampion i love you more

madelame i'm about to cry, this is so cute

user120 he did a reference to a james cameron movie in the description??

› user893 no, that's a lyric of lover remix

skeetulrich i'm happy that you are part of our family, kid

masonthegooding you know, your anniversary would be perfect if I was there to put music

noahtwitch favorite couple

user109 i'm so happy that they survived the pandemic of couples breaking

[arinbelle]

Gentle

A/N: Happy Cassian Appreciation Week! It has been so long since I’ve posted anything and this fic sort of came to me unexpectedly. I really miss Nessian and I super, super miss the concept of them in Illyria with Nesta going with Cassian after ACOFAS. I guess this is an AU to ACOSF, and it’s a little angsty, a little smutty, and a lot of Nessian, which of course I love and live for.

Thank you @cassianappreciationweek for putting this amazing week together. I’m so excited!!!

                                                            ~*~

Nesta was curled up on the couch, a cup of tea steaming besides her and a thick novel held in her hands which she promptly laid down once she saw him.

She didn’t say hello, or ask how he was, not that he expected her to. And apart from a quick nod of acknowledgement on her part and a grunt from him, that was it for them.

Cassian was tired. Bone-deep tired and he worried he may not have the energy to speak for the rest of the week, let alone do anything else. The rain he’d been caught in on the way home hadn’t helped his mood either. And definitely not as he’d trudged upstairs and peeled off the sodden clothes and leather that stuck to him like glue.

But a quick, heated bath restored some of his energy and he made his way back down to Nesta, still on the couch, and still reading as he towel-dried his hair.

“Good book?”

A hum. Yes.

“Did you eat?”

Another hum. Lower. It could be yes or no, he’d learned.

“Come eat with me.”

A click of her tongue. He was interrupting her reading and it was his cue to stop bothering her. So he did.

He made his way to their small kitchen, following the smell of freshly warmed up food. He opened up the pots on the stove, taking in the rice, lentils and chicken. The smell was heavenly and after surviving on stale bread and hard cheese for the past week, he was relieved to eat a hot meal that required a plate and cooking.

Nesta didn’t move away when he joined her on the empty side of the couch, nor did she prompt him to eat somewhere else. Not that there was anywhere else to go eat. It was either down here with her, or upstairs shut away in his bedroom.

He opted for company, however silent it may be.

“It’s good.” He said after getting a second serving for himself.

“Emerie’s recipe.” She flipped the page, eyes never once wavering from scanning the lines in front of her.

He finished the remainder of the meal quietly, peeking glances to the female across him, not even two feet away, every so often. She’d opted for a loose knot at the back of her head, as opposed to the tight coronet braid it was usually in. And the nightgown she had on covered her from shoulders to toes.

Last he’d seen her, the week before, she’d looked much different. Her hair had been loose, falling down her back in silky ripples. He’d wrapped his hand around the length of it once, twice, until he’d had enough to tug her head gently backwards and meet him for a kiss. His hips had snapped into her own, pounding deeper and deeper and she’d pulled away with a moan, burying her head into the pillows as he tightened his grip on her hips. The thin scrap of lace that she’d come to him wearing, a barely there nightgown, was sitting discarded besides him on the floor besides the couch. He had been too close and he would have pushed her over the edge soon enough had there not been a sharp rap on the door a few feet from them.

Nesta had quieted immediately while Cassian had stopped altogether. The knock had come again a few moments later and Cassian had flipped her over onto her back while yelling out at whoever was at the door.

A message had come from a northern kingdom in the mountains that he was needed for some sort of emergency. Cassian had discussed the details for a few minutes more while continuing to fuck Nesta slowly, covering just her mouth as she came hard around him, back arched and eyes rolling back in her head.

It wasn’t until the messenger told him goodbye and that he’d be waiting at the training barracks for him that Cassian had properly extricated himself from Nesta, and propped himself into a sitting position on the couch.

Nesta was still catching her breath besides him and the swift peek he’d gotten between her slightly spread legs, of her swollen sex, had almost tempted him to taste her one last time before he had to be off. Almost, because before he could do anything, Nesta had reached down and dressed herself in that damned gown again.

Before he could rise as well, and cool down to get rid of his hardness, Nesta had gotten on her knees between his open legs, sucking him down her throat. It hadn’t taken him very long to explode in her mouth, his hands holding her hair back while he fucked it with a frenzy. She’d taken every thrust, and swallowed his release while continuing to work her mouth around him.

Her eyes had looked up at him wickedly as her tongue had chased him from the side of pleasure to overstimulation and he had twitched against her hold.

They hadn’t shared a goodbye but Nesta had kissed him swiftly, brutally, with the taste of himself still on her tongue before walking away.

“What?,” she snapped, pulling him from his lewd thoughts.

“Nothing,” he said, scraping his dish clean. He picked up the bag he’d brought with him and made his way to the kitchen to clean up.

It was only after he’d washed his dishes and placed the leftover food in the icebox did he call out to Nesta to join him. She hadn’t moved right away but after a few breaths he’d heard a shuffle, the closing of a book and she’d soon appeared in the kitchen doorway.

“What?” Clipped. And a hint of annoyance if he’d read the rest of her posture correctly.

“Aren’t you charming? Is the book getting good? Did I interrupt an upcoming smut scene?”

He opened the white box’s packaging and Nesta took a seat opposite him from the center island.

“It already happened. They were going at it again.”

“How refreshing,” he chuckled with a wink. Nesta rolled her eyes.

“So I know how you are about your chocolate cake, but you have to try this one. I picked it up from a bakery up north and trust me, you’ve never had anything like it before.” He placed a generous slide onto the cake plate and pushed it towards her, handing her the fork she always favored.

Nesta didn’t eat it. She only surveyed the white cream and strawberry jam in between the large cake layers with barely concealed disdain. Strange. To his knowledge, she liked strawberries fine enough. And cake was always a welcome dessert for her.

“Where is it from?”

“Erm, Miyola. It’s a small town between these two hills in the northern Steppes. I know the baker there. I haven't had a chance to go in a while but I was nearby for the work I was doing with that Illyrian king, so I decided to drop by on the way home.”

She picked up her fork, spearing the center of the cake, but still not eating it.

“This baker is your…friend.”

She stated it but Cassian heard the question in her voice.

“Yes,” he answered, confused. A sort of friend that he’d known for a couple decades. Nothing like Azriel or Rhys, which were more family than friends at this point. But still, a good friend who made great pastries. And always gave him some extra for free when he left.

Nesta’s eyes narrowed. “Just friends? It’s a very nice cake.”

“Yes,” he answered again, irritation beginning to spike in him. Gods but he was tired.

Nesta reached down to her lap before procuring a small piece of paper, all but throwing it at him.

“It fell from your bag when you came home.”

Cassian read it in silence, quickly realizing what Nesta was probably thinking.

“It’s not…”

“She doesn’t seem to be very set on being just friends, don’t you think?”

Nesta’s glare was murderous.

Layla, the baker he’d met a century ago had been a fun, heated tryst that had quickly fizzled out. Or so he’d thought. And when he had dropped by this past week, his thoughts of their past nights had been a fleeting memory. Perhaps he should have explained the cake was for Nesta, his…

Well she wasn't really his anything. Not between them or amongst the rest of the world. She’d made that much clear the first time they’d slept together. A very formidable  line had been drawn, by her, making it known to him that it was just sex. Just for fun. And only while she was staying with him in Illyria. That it had nothing to do with romance, or care, or anything outside of base lust and desire. Which he could understand if it was any other female besides Nesta. If it had been any other female, he would have gladly accepted the agreement, and while he still had, a large part of him had felt empty at the thought. That it was all they would ever be. So for her to question this situation, question them when there really wasn’t a them - well it clawed at some already fraying part of him.

“Is that a problem?” He couldn’t help the snap in his words, the teeth he had to keep himself from baring.

If she wanted to play games, he could too. Nesta didn’t expect that and her spine stiffened, practically begging her to fight back. Bite back even. But he knew she wouldn’t answer truthfully. Because to do so would mean admitting that this thing between them was something real, something more than what she was lying to herself about. And the best thing she always did was run from the truth.

“Of course not. Why should I have a problem who you invite to your bed? I was just curious since you said- no, you lied, about who she was.”

“I didn’t-,” Cassian caught himself, taking in a ragged breath. So that’s what they would do tonight. Fight. He was in no mood for it.

“She’s a friend. I didn’t lie about it. And even if she wasn't, why do you care?”

Her spine went ramrod straight and she took in a quick breath, eyes blazing with simmering fury.

“I don’t,” came her strained reply.

Sure.

“So eat the cake.”

She waved her hand, ignoring him. “I don’t care. I don’t control you. I’m not stopping you from whatever you want with her. If you’d like to even bring her here and fuck her, why should I care?” Nesta got up, getting shriller and shriller with each passing word. “I don’t care one bit Cassian. Don’t stop on my account. While you’re at it, why not become reacquainted with all of your old friends? Females just seem to throw themselves at you left and right, don’t they?”

“They do, actually,” Cassian retorted. “I didn’t think you’d give a shit though. You don't about anything else.”

Nesta seemed to startle at his sudden outburst, but she quickly recovered.

“Well how great that’ll be then. You can go to one of them now and stop panting after me.”

“I wasn’t aware you were so miserable,” he deadpanned.

She smirked, crooning. “Males’ egos are truly a thing of wonder. You aren’t doing anything for me that I can’t do for myself with my own hand.”

Cassian laughed darkly. “Let’s not get into all the things I do to you. With my hands or otherwise.”

A faint blush stained her cheeks at that but she didn’t back down. She opened her mouth, readying for her next attack, but Cassian interrupted it.

He tried softer this time. “Don’t be cruel, it doesn't suit you.”

“Doesn’t it?,” she snapped.

Cassian shrugged then. “Jealousy definitely doesn’t. You would know if there were any other females around me in that way. You’d smell it on me.”

She shook her head. “I’m not jealous. I already told you, I don’t-.”

“Yes I got it the first time. You don’t care. Are you done now?”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

Cassian had to laugh at that. “Are you done, Nesta? Have you had enough?”

Eyes narrowed in contempt, arms crossed over her chest in lovely defiance, she was the most beautiful creature he’d ever laid eyes on.

Cassian took a bite of the cake. “You’re persistent, I’ll give you that. And you don’t quit. I’d admire it if I wasn’t so tired. And I’d encourage it if I wasn’t already in a piss poor mood. Gods know I don’t need any excitement for a while.”

She blinked, unmoving, but quiet. So he continued, finishing up his dessert.

“But we do this, don’t we? You pick a fight with something that isn’t really an issue. I say something, you say something worse, I say something back, you get upset. You cry and then I’m the asshole that has to apologize for something you started. Or did I miss something?”

She knew he was right, but Nesta wouldn’t say it. Nesta wouldn’t say a lot of things. So instead he reached across the table, and pushed her plate further towards her.

“Eat the damn cake, Nesta. I brought it for you.”

She did. With just enough contempt that she might have scratched the plate with her fork from her first bite. But she did it. And eventually she had a second slice too, Cassian noted with a small feeling of victory.

“What’s her name?”

Gods save him, not this again.

“Nesta, I don’t-.”

She held up a hand, almost placating him. “I’m not trying to start a fight. I just wanted to know her name.”

Cassian hesitated for a moment. “Layla.”

“Pretty,” she noted quietly, moving the fork around her empty plate.

“Yes,” he murmured, cleaning up, and trying his best not to stare too much at Nesta, in case she spooked and ran from him again.

“Is she? Pretty, I mean.” Nesta’s voice was soft and too fragile for his liking. She wouldn’t look at him as she asked.

“Yes,” he admitted slowly. And she was. He couldn’t deny it. And even if he lied, Nesta would know. She always knew when he lied.

Nesta left then.

He argued with himself the entire way up the stairs and to her door. To talk to her, soothe her worries, and reassure her that there was no one else for him. But to do that would mean acknowledging that there was something here of enough substance where another female might present a problem.

Nesta would never accept that.

Still he knocked, and even though she didn’t and wouldn’t respond, he let himself in.

“New book?”

She didn’t look up once, sprawled out on her stomach, with her feet to the head of the bed.

“Old book. Rereading it.”

At least she spoke to him. He supposed they were no longer in that rough place anymore where he would have to worry about her stoic silence. She rarely iced him out since staying with him. Rarely felt the need to resort to it, even with some of their worst fights. This, he could work with.

He sat down beside her, trying his best, and failing, to keep the peace.

“You’re beautiful,” he finally said after a pregnant pause.

She clicked her tongue. “Is that why you’re here? I don’t need that from you. I’ve been told I had a face fit to marry a king since I was eight. This isn’t news for me.”

Of course it wasn’t. People had to be blind to not know that Nesta was stunning. Becoming Fae had only heightened it to being otherwordly.

“Well, then you should know that just because Layla-.” She clicked her tongue, shutting him up. She didn’t want to talk about this. But he couldn't leave it so cold and open. Especially not when he knew exactly what sorts of thoughts were probably racing in her head.

“Nesta,” he murmured, hoping she’d at least look at him before he threw his heart out in front of her, yet again. She had a habit of stomping the life out of it, but he prayed one last time, that maybe she wouldn’t.

She closed her book then, turning onto her back to look up at him. Her hair fanned out behind her and Cassian couldn’t resist carding through the tresses softly, gently, with so much hesitation it was a wonder he didn’t tremble too.

There was something about Nesta that terrified Cassian. Not the stone cold facade or the cutting words. He could take a hit or two to his ego, and with Nesta, it was more entertaining for him than anything else. But he had faced foes on battlefields for centuries, had killed and maimed without much thought, and never once had he encountered someone like her.

The brute strength and the efficiently cutting violence that he could easily execute with had always helped him as a soldier. As a general. And then as commander. Never had it been a weakness to deter from until he’d met Nesta.

Then, suddenly, all his largeness, all his brash, booming loudness had become dangerous. To her. For her. Gods knew she had the temper and fire inside to match his own, and to meet every shredding, stupid thing he said to her with her own poison. But it wasn’t the same and he knew it.

The fragility that she hid behind a beautiful, almost impenetrable mask scared him. As if he may one day, accidentally, shatter her irreversibly, if he wasn’t careful. So he tried again this time, trying and willing the words to form in the gentlest way possible to deal with this storm of a woman laid out in front of him.

“I don’t know what you want from me. I can’t guard you from reality even though I’d like to. There will always be another Layla if you go looking hard enough. And knowing you, you tend to go looking for heartbreak just so you can swing first.”

Cassian didn’t miss the fact that her storm-grey eyes began to fill with tears, but he had to commend her grit in not letting them fall.

“Is it not enough if I tell you there is no one else? Not now, not for a very long time, and not anytime in the future as long as you wish it.”

She laughed, but it was a hollow, broken sound. “I never asked for your loyalty.”

“You have it anyhow.”

A stray tear leaked out and Cassian’s hand flexed automatically to reach over and wipe it away. He held himself back only for a moment, judging whether or not it would shatter this delicate moment. Another tear leaked out and Cassian gently wiped it off then. Nesta nuzzled against his hand and it took everything in him to not pull her towards him.

“I never asked anything of you,” she whispered into the heart of his palm. 

“I know.”

“So why do you keep giving?”

Cassian smoothed her hair, stroking her cheek. “Because I can. Because I want to. I guess you’ll just have to deal with it.”

She froze as he leaned down over her, before softening against him.

“I suppose so,” she whispered against his lips.

Cassian kissed her gently, even though his soul had been wholly consumed by her. Perhaps it would never be enough time in this world for him to show her how much she mattered to him, how much he cared. But for now, this would do.

~*~

Taglist:  @endlessdaydream @sleeping-and-books @purpleglitterypinecone   @sv0430   @gwynberdara @karmasworlds @bookstantrash   @duskandstarlight  @d0riansgray @perseusannabeth@vasudharaghavan   @sayosdreams   @arielle-reads   @theoverlyenthusiasticwriter  @nahthanks  @oversizedbats  @swankii-art-teacher  @inardour  @rowaelinismyotp  @starryblueskies7   @vidalinav @nessiantrashh   @imagine-me  @iwastoowildinthe70s @lady-winter-sunrise @vanzetanze @moodymelanist @wishfulimaginings @amaranthas-whore @simpingfornestaarcheron @generalnesta @mis-lil-red @nestaisgod  @booksstorm @loosingdreams @champanheandluxxury  @18moneytoad @starksravings @tinasbookishlife @cookiemonsterwholovesbooks @nesquik-arccheron @readingwitches @that-golden-lyre @awesomelena555 @wannawriteyouabook @story-scribbler @readingismyonlyhobby @burningsnowleopard @pyxxie 

[specialagentlokitty]

Melendez x reader - our stories

Grumbling under your breath, you stormed over and slammed the file on the table.

“Your results.”

“Is that the way you treat the people you work with?” Melendez asked.

“Only arrogant assholes who think they’re better than everybody else.”

“Keep it up and you’ll be written up.”

You said nothing and he picked up the file to read through it.

“Run them again.”

“I’ve just run them, it’s a waste of time, clearly we need to start antibiotics.”

“And I’m telling you to run these tests again, so go.”

“It’s scut work!”

“And that’s what you’re on until you start treating people with respect.”

You scoffed.

“I’ll respect you when you start respecting me and Shaun.”

With that, you walked off and turned to Shaun who was waiting outside.

“Did you get in trouble?”

“No Shaun, I didn’t. And you’re not either, come on.”

He quickly followed you.

“I could hear you shouting.”

“It’s nothing Shaun, let’s just go rerun those tests.”

“Okay.”

You were still stuck on scut work like you always were, and you were debating moving to a different hospital.

You had plenty of offers from other places, you were a highly sought out candidate for a residency.

So after a few more weeks of clashing heads with with Melendez, you began looking at a few vacancies, weighing up your options.

When your phone began to ring, you looked at it and chose to ignore it, since you didn’t want to speak to your boss.

When it kept ringing you simply just sent a message saying you were sick and turned your phone off.

But then your house phone began to ring, and with a heavy sigh you walked over and answered it.

“What?”

You listened to the voice of the nurse on the other end, and you were already rushing around trying to gather everything.

“I’m on my way.”

Hanging up, you tossed it aside, changed, grabbed your mobile phone and rushed out of your apartment.

You drove as fast as you could to the hospital, running straight into the ER.

“You’re late and ignoring a call in.”

“Shut up.” You snapped.

“I have put up with you long enough, I will be writing you up and we will be having a meeting about your behaviour so let’s go.”

“No.”

You began rummaging through all the files, looking for a specific one.

“That is enough!”

Melendez took the files away from you, and you slapped his hand away making a few people stop before they carried on.

“This kind of behaviour I would expect from Shaun, but from you? You are out of control and out of line.”

You barged past him, and you began to look at all of the rooms.

“Is this you trying to prove a point? You’re being childish!” Melendez snapped.

You carried on ignoring him and he grabbed your arm.

“Stop!”

You spun around, shoving him backwards.

“Don’t you dare touch me.”

With that, you carried on and you disappeared from his sight.

He didn’t have time to chance you, he had things to be doing so that’s what he went to do, deciding he would deal with you afterwards.

So he went to his next patient with Claire, Jared and Shaun.

“My sister…”

“One of the nurses reached out to your family Joshua, she’s coming.” Melendez smiled.

Joshua took a weak breath, nodding his head as he let the doctors check on him.

“You need new lungs.” Shaun said.

“Murphy.” Melendez snapped.

The door was slammed open, and you rushed over to Joshua, taking his hand in yours.

“You came…” he whispered.

You placed your hand on his head.

“Of course I came.”

You looked to Melendez before turning to the others.

“Help him.” You said quietly.

“We’ll do everything we can.” Jared said.

You nodded and pulled a chair over to sit next to your brother, only half listening to everything that was being said.

Not long later Melendez came back in.

“I need to ask a few follow up questions.”

“Let him sleep.”

“Alright. Then I’ll ask you. Can we talk over here?”

You nodded, getting up to follow him but you wouldn’t leave the room, so he closed the door, letting you stay inside.

You kept your eyes closely on your brother.

“When he came in we did some tests, and an MRI on his lungs revealed masses we can’t make sense off.”

“So what do you want?” You asked.

“I want to know why, or I want permission to run some more tests. Until we figure out what’s causing his issues we can’t help Joshua.”

“What’s your initial prognosis?”

“(Y/N).”

“What is your thoughts?” You asked sternly.

He sighed heavily.

“Right now, a transplant is his best option, but if we know what the cause is we can possibly find the real answer. Either way we will get it.”

“Then run your tests.”

“(Y/N), I want to help your brother.”

“Run the tests.”

With that, you walked away.

Melendez wasn’t sure what he expected from you, but it wasn’t that.

He knew you wanted to help your brother, but he wasn’t expecting you to be so recluse about your life what you would prefer them to run tests over answering a few questions.

But he ran the tests just like you had told him to do.

He came back with everybody with the results, and he looked at the rest of the team.

“Go, get some rest. We’ll handle the next step in the morning.”

He walked into the room and closed the door.

Your brother looked up from his phone, and he set it aside.

“We found some abnormalities on your tests, and we ran a few more with your sisters consent. You have extreme scarring to your lungs.”

Joshua sighed, coughing a little bit.

“I know.”

“You know? Does (Y/N) know?”

“Of course.”

Melendez sighed heavily as he walked over.

“There’s a few possible options, but the only long term solution is a transplant, how did you get scars this bad?”

Joshua smiled a little.

“Smoke burns after a while.” He said.

Melendez gave a look of confusion.

“When I was a kid.. I was trapped in a fire, but the hospital didn’t look that hard at me.”

“You have no other scars indicating damage from a fire.”

“Because I didn’t get burned.”

Joshua looked towards you, and so did Melendez.

“I won’t say anything else.. just do what you have to.”

Melendez nodded his head, and they did what they could to give your brother some more time while he wanted for a more permanent solution.

But the doctor found his attention kept going towards you, and even after your brother was cleared to go home with frequent check ups, and you returned back to work, he had questions.

So finally he decided to act.

“Can we talk?”

You sighed, doing the buttons up on your jacket.

“Make it quick.”

You followed him over to an empty on call room, and he closed the door.

“Joshua explained how he scarred his lungs. It explained he was left in a fire, he explained he never got burned, which for that kind of damage is a miracle.”

“These things happen.”

Melendez sighed.

“I want to run some tests on you to make sure the same thing doesn’t happen to you.”

“I’ll be fine.”

“If you were in the fire for even half as long I doubt it.”

“Listen to my breathing if you want, you won’t find anything.”

He walked over, and he listened to your breath, and it was perfect, not a hint of an issue with your lungs.

“I never breathed in smoke, because I stole an oxygen tank from the firefighters when they weren’t looking, I stole two, one for me one for Joshua.”

You sighed, sitting in the bench.

“My brother didn’t get burned because I did, I covered him so he wouldn’t get hurt.”

You rolled up your sleeve to show him your burned arm, and rolled it back down.

“Our parents were shit, they never loved us, and left us to burn in that fire. And I would’ve stood and watched that house burn down if my brother weren’t in there Melendez.”

You stood up, picking your bag up.

“So before you start thinking everybody is the same pretentious ass that you are, maybe you should take the stick out every once in a while and see we’re all human. We’re all healing over something, and it’s no excuse for you to take out pain out on us.”

“I know, I know and I’m sorry. Okay? I am. I was wrong and I should never have treated you with such disrespect.”

You walked turned to the door.

“Maybe we can start again, as friends?” He asked.

“Not a chance.”

Melendez watched you leave and he ran a hand over his hair.

He had messed up big time, and it was possibly going to cost the hospital and him one of the best surgeons that they had ever seen.

He felt bad.

And he wanted to make it right with you, not only that, but he genuinely did want to know more about you, and get your scars looked at properly.

But he knew it wasn’t going to easy.

Everybody had a story, and he had a feeling that was only a fraction of yours

[riacherrby]

summer love

(if you think that the plot is too similar to the “the notes diary” so yes. it is 😔)

It was a summer that started like any other but ended completely differently. Y/n, an old friend of Bianca, returned to Bianca’s hometown after a long absence. The girls had been friends since childhood, and every time Y/n visited for the summer, it felt like time stood still, and they were back to their endless teenage adventures. But this time, things were a little different.

Bianca sat on her porch, waiting for Y/n’s arrival. They had talked on the phone, and Bianca mentioned her new friend, Henry Hart. Y/n, however, listened with mild irony. Bianca always liked to talk about her friends, but this Henry didn’t seem that special to her.

“Oh, here you are!” Bianca exclaimed joyfully as soon as she saw Y/n’s car pulling up to the house. The girls hugged and immediately started discussing plans for the summer.

A few days later, Y/n met Henry for the first time. He approached them while they were walking along the beach. From the first glance, Y/n didn’t like his expression—he seemed too bold and self-assured. In turn, Henry thought Y/n was too cold, too arrogant. To him, she seemed like just another rich girl—snobby and self-satisfied.

“Hi, I’m Henry,” he said with a slight smirk.

“Y/n,” she replied shortly, barely looking at him.

They exchanged stiff smiles and continued talking with Bianca, avoiding each other as much as possible. Their first impression of each other, to say the least, was not great.

Despite the cold start, Y/n and Henry gradually started spending more time together. Bianca was always around, but soon enough, they began hanging out on their own. Henry was fun, spontaneous, and full of enthusiasm, something Y/n, with her slightly strict and thoughtful nature, didn’t quite understand at first. Yet, with each passing day, something about him made her see the world differently.

One evening, they were driving along the coast, Henry behind the wheel of his old car, and Y/n sitting beside him, watching the sunset.

“Why do you always look so serious?” he asked suddenly.

Y/n smiled faintly.

“Maybe I just don’t show my emotions to everyone. That doesn’t mean they aren’t there.”

Henry looked at her closely, trying to understand.

“I thought you were… I don’t know, a bit stuck-up,” he admitted. “But it turns out you’re not like that at all.”

“And you were right,” she said, laughing softly, but there was no anger in her voice. “People often judge too quickly.”

From that moment on, their relationship started to change. Henry realized that behind Y/n’s serious and cool exterior was a deep, kind heart, and Y/n saw in Henry not just a fun guy but someone capable of real feelings. They began spending more and more time together—riding motorcycles, going on road trips, having picnics on the beach. Their connection became natural, as if they had known each other their entire lives.

But Y/n couldn’t ignore her family. She knew her parents wouldn’t approve of her relationship with Henry. They came from different worlds. Her family was wealthy, with clear expectations for her future, and dating a simple guy who didn’t fit into their plans seemed unacceptable. One evening, she received a message from her parents saying it was time to come home.

“I’m leaving in a week,” she said quietly to Henry.

They were sitting on the beach, looking at the stars. Henry immediately felt a knot tighten inside him.

“Leaving? Already?” his voice trembled. He knew this moment would come eventually, but he wasn’t ready for it.

“Yeah. You know I can’t stay here. My family…” she trailed off, trying to find the right words. “They don’t approve of us.”

“And you? What do you think?” Henry turned to her, his eyes searching for an answer.

“I think this has been the best summer of my life,” she whispered, and a tear rolled down her cheek. She loved him, but she understood that their story was doomed from the start.

The summer ended too quickly. Their goodbye was short, too painful to prolong. Y/n left, leaving Henry on the same beach where they had spent so many unforgettable evenings. He stayed behind, staring at the horizon, knowing she wouldn’t return.

She knew she couldn’t come back to this town the way she used to. Their story was short but intense, and it would forever remain in their hearts. Sometimes love comes not to stay but to remind you that it exists.

Nothing lasts forever.

[alovesreading]

Constant Repeat | Part 6

Summary: Having worked at Focus Creeps for a year, Ella knows that as a production assistant and part of the crew, there’s one important rule: don’t interact with the talent unless it’s needed. But once she meets Arctic Monkeys, and the recording of the music videos for their upcoming fourth studio album starts, the band seem to become her exception. Not only because they treat her more like a friend than just someone else they’re working with but when Alex continuously makes her blush with his flirting, so enthralled by her that he forgets he’s got a girlfriend, Ella finds herself growing closer to him. As videos are filmed, wrapped and edited, the friendship lines become blurry. Situations unfold, secrets are told and others are kept under lock and key, but how long can Alex and Ella endure being stuck in each other’s minds on constant repeat.

Word Count: 28.5k

Story Warnings: Throughout this series there will be suggestive talk, jealousy, cheating, alcohol and drug use, angst, smut.

A/N: The last one ended in quite an intriguing note, didn't it? Hope this one answers some questions but I can't promise there's not gonna be more to rise by the end of it lol. Very much excited to see how you lot react to this one, I absolutely adore reading you reactions every time! It's a little roller coaster from now on I'd say... Enjoy!

Masterlist

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 |

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

(27/07/2012 16:10) Holy shit Alex! The Olympics opening ceremony?! Congratulations!! You and the guys did amazing!!!

Alex was on a high, his hands had been shaking ever since they had been told they were due on stage at the Olympic Stadium in fifteen minutes, his heartbeat thud in his ears even after having come back to the box they had been assigned to watch the rest of the ceremony; so when his phone buzzed and he saw Ella's name on his screen, he thought it was all a figment of his imagination.

But ten minutes later, when he ended the call with Andy Nicholson who had called to congratulate them, Alex had seen her name still swimming between the mass of messages he had gotten. He paused for a few seconds, his finger hovering over her name while he asked himself if he was actually seeing correctly.

When he went on her chat, he was met with the multiple texts he had sent back in February and she ignored, a bitterness came up his throat as it was still lingering even after it being months since it had happened, but just below those forgotten texts was the one she had sent him over twenty minutes before.

It was the first text he'd gotten from her after a little more than five months of no contact, no calls, no texts, no 'just watched this movie and you are gonna love it!', no 'the guitars in this song are something out of this world', not even a text when the 'R U Mine?' music video had come out just a week after she had run off set.

He missed her and he had thought of texting her every day for the first month but he was a coward and had no idea what would've been the best way to approach her since he really had no proper clue of what had happened and, if he was being honest, the blatant avoidance from her part had hurt his ego and a part of him was waiting to see if she'd be the one to reach out.

So, as his attention was taken over by Arielle, he let the days go by and waited for a chance in which they could talk again and maybe take the opportunity to clear the air. But one month turned into two and there was no effort from her side.

Arielle was a constant in his life by then, but the presence of the girl hadn't completely diminished the thought of Ella, not when he still wanted answers because the lack of clarity behind her complete switch of behavior was eating him up inside.

He had given Matt's comments that night a thought but in his mind it really didn't make sense, because to him it all had been just innocent banter with Arielle and, having experienced Ella's honesty the more they opened up to each other during that week-long tour, he knew Ella would've told him if it was that which had upset her.

Yet Ella hadn't and that led Alex to come to the conclusion that it must've just been too much for her. He had been too eager when showing his interest in her and, whilst she had been accepting of it at first, it must've built up until she just couldn't take it and reciprocate it.

There also was how she had dialed down her behavior towards him when his coworkers were there and, in a desperate attempt to think of answers on his own, Alex thought that maybe someone had commented something that just completely threw her off and made her cut it all off suddenly.

And as the weeks passed, and he gave his hypothesis a thought, he also reckoned it must've been something to save herself any heartache. Because, after all, they both knew Alex was going to leave and maybe cutting him off completely and ignoring whatever it was she felt towards him would be the best option in order to not get hurt by time and distance. Not everyone could take it and he knew just how cruel that could be.

So he didn't blame her for making that selfish decision, but he couldn't help feeling a bit disheartened about the sudden change of it all with no hint of a heads up, with no explanation at all. And there it went again, the pang in his chest when he thought of just how many things they had spoken about and how it felt so weird that she wouldn't speak to him about it.

In those months of radio silence, Alex had heard about her from the rest of the band, who got texts from her or would call her from time to time but it was not the same. So he wasted no more time, typing a response as fast as his shaky fingers could and ignoring the calls of his girlfriend to get in a picture with the lads.

(27/07/2012 16:22) Ellie! Thank you! xxxx How have you been?

(27/07/2012 16:23) Wonderful, Alex :) Say hi to the guys for me!

(27/07/2012 16:23) Will do xx They're pushing me over to get pictures, talk to you later alright? x

(27/07/2012 16:24) Sure! Talk to you soon.

He pocketed his phone as he walked towards his friends, everyone cheering as he stepped beside Matt.

Flashes had blinded him all night, the combination from the lights and the alcohol had made his head dizzy so as soon as he got home, he showered and fell right asleep. He'd had a busy night, he felt on cloud nine with his best mates and his parents beside him, his girlfriend there as well to witness one of their biggest accomplishments.

He was still elated the morning after, meaning that, after he kissed Arielle goodbye as she went to meet up with some of her friends, he remembered how he had gotten the chance to talk with Ella after so long so he took his free time to ring her up.

Of course, he was so distracted that he forgot it would be much earlier for her than for him. Her phone rang on her night table, waking her up. She only managed to grab it with her left arm, extended as far as she could and when she saw it was five in the morning, she slowly woke up from the fear that something might have happened.

Her eyes hadn't opened to see who it was before she picked up, "Hello?" her voice was groggy from sleep, and she cleared her throat right after the greeting left her lips.

"Bloody hell," Alex cursed quickly, wincing at his mistake. "I forgot it's still very early for you Ellie. Sorry." He whispered like that would help in any way.

Ella chuckled, amused at how mortified he sounded, "S'Alright. How are you? How crazy was yesterday?" A yawn escaped her lips at the end, so suddenly she didn't have time to conceal the sound of it.

A smile broke out on his face, he was eager to tell her all about it and stay on the phone with her for hours on end if she let him but just as he was going to start narrating how the night had gone, a deep groan from the other side of the call made the words get stuck in his throat.

Right after the groan came the shuffling of sheets and a question from someone he didn't know who it was that had him frozen in his place, "Who is it, babe?" Said the man who was with her, the pet name had felt like a slap across the face for Alex.

She had snorted, the way Alex had gotten used to hearing daily months before, and she replied playfully, "Just a friend who forgot about time zones, baby. Go back to sleep." Right after that, there was a faint sigh and a second or two of the sheets ruffling around before she talked back to the singer this time, "Are you still there?"

Alex could only clear his throat as he gathered his thoughts, "Yeah, erm, yes." He pinched himself to snap out of it, and to start his recount of the previous night's events, forcing himself to sound chipper. "It was mental! The stadium was packed and, bloody hell Ella, I swear I had come to terms with it and was not nervous about it when we were rehearsing but you should've seen me fifteen minutes before it was our time to perform, I was fucking shaking."

She cooed, "Oh Alex," She pouted to herself as she scratched her boyfriend's hair, smiling when the man resting on her chest hummed in satisfaction. "But you did amazing, I promise! We were just watching the ceremony, and when you guys were announced I was fully shocked. Bre told me she was in London but she never told me you were performing on the fucking Olympics!" She whisper-shouted the last part, making Alex chuckle.

"Yeah, sorry about that. We sort of couldn't tell anyone we were actually performing, Bre was surprised when Matt told her an hour before we got to the stadium."

She hummed, "Well I can forgive her then. You did The Beatles great justice as well, that cover was amazing and the whole show with the cyclists was just stunning."

"It was," Alex agreed, "Was shitting it because imagine if we butchered a Beatles song in the UK, in front of the Queen and the millions of people watching everywhere."

Ella laughed too loud, making her boyfriend flinch, "Sorry" she whispered to him and then continued, "Well, thankfully that didn't happen. You'd be exiled from your country." She continued giggling softly, "That would be just as bad as actual treason."

They both laughed for a little bit until the giggles died down to sighs. She wouldn't deny that she had missed talking to him, and she didn't like admitting it to herself but she was just very glad his voice wasn't making her feel like at the start of the year. It gave her the hope that maybe this time they could just be friends, now that she had finally let go of whatever she felt for him.

"We're going to LA next month," Alex broke the silence, his voice had a hint of doubt as if he was scared of what she would answer. "We're staying until mid-september 'cause we're gonna record the next album over there."

"Oh really?" Came from her, with just the right amount of excitement, "You're gonna start recording already?"

"We are. I have some stuff written down already and some chord progressions, I wanna see how we can complement it with the lads." He held his breath, not really knowing how it was that she'd continue to react.

Ella cooed and let out a small "Yay!" Even if at first it had been hard hearing their music after everything that had happened back in February, she hadn't been able to avoid it for that long. So she was actually excited to hear whatever they would come up with, knowing how good 'R U Mine?' already was.

"Well, Turner, you're gonna have to let me know when y'all get here so we can all catch up, I know just the place to take y'all." She warned, her voice teasing him as if he'd get in trouble if he didn't let her know like she was asking.

"Fair enough, I will let you know," the singer promised. "I'll let you go back to sleep now, sorry I woke you up so early, Ellie."

She just let out a faint giggle, just a polite one so he wouldn't feel bad about it, "It's all good, Alex, don't you worry."

"I'll talk to you later then, darling." Alex's breath caught in his throat instantly, upon realizing he had just called her by the pet name he hadn't used in so long.

But Ella didn't flinch, it was like it had flown right past her head, "Bye Alex, talk to you later." and with that she ended the call.

Ella blew air out in relief when her insides didn't flip at him calling her darling so, she dropped her phone back on the night table and turned to cuddle closer to her boyfriend, fully at peace knowing the singer's effect on her seemed to be long gone.

Alex, on the other hand, felt something bubbling inside of him because it all kept playing on his mind. He kept hearing the man calling her 'babe' and her calling him 'baby' and just the faint notion of her having a boyfriend made him feel uneasy.

The mystery man got a face when Arielle came back to his flat. Alex had mentioned to her how he had gotten to chat with Ella on the phone, throwing in his new discovery subtly to see if his girlfriend had any information about it.

He was taken aback when Arielle dropped her bag on the settee and turned around with a knowing smile. "Oh yeah, they are so cute! I thought you had her on Instagram?" she had a slight frown while pulling up Ella's page to show Alex.

He shook his head, "No, erm, I only got it a few months ago remember? You helped me open it."

She let out an elongated "Ohhhh," as she clicked on Ella's page, "Well you should've asked me for her page silly, I thought you already had her there since she's your and the guys' friend."

He pulled out his phone and handed it to her, Arielle gave him her phone so he could see Ella and her boyfriend together. But his eyes were met with a very different Ella, one he almost didn't recognize, and he felt goosebumps break on his skin at the same time his body lit up on fire.

On the bottom of her page he could see her typical analog shots, of bits and pieces of cities and artsy photoshoots with models taken by her, but as he slowly scrolled up her page there were tons of picture of her in motorcycles, wearing leather and, in a particular one, not much more than a bikini and her cowboy boots.

That picture was the first one that caught his eye but he wasn't going to start ogling Ella's Instagram and get all flustered about it in front of his girlfriend so he scrolled further up until he stumbled upon a picture of her and her boyfriend.

He knew what he felt was jealousy because how could he not? When she stood there with her back to the camera but her face turned to the side, and the man's hand was in the back pocket of her jeans as he kissed her cheek, which had ended with her scrunching up her nose in response. He missed that face much more than he'd ever let on.

Alex could feel Arielle's eyes on him so he forced himself to smile fondly, "Yeah, they're cute."

Arielle grabbed her phone back from him as she slid his phone towards him, "I know right? Have you told Ella we're coming next month?"

He nodded, locking his phone right after hitting 'follow' and then he walked towards the balcony that was in his room—he needed a cigarette. "I did," he nodded as he grabbed his Marlboro reds from the coffee table in his living room, "She said to let her know when we're there, she wants to take us to this cool pub she found."

A bright grin appeared on Arielle's face, "Oh I'm so excited to see her again, she's so lovely isn't she? You know she got me that big Coke campaign? The one that got me invited to that event that got me an agent?"

He paused in the middle of the hallway, "Oh really? Well, that's very nice of her."

"I have to buy her a few drinks as a thank you for it." Arielle finished while she turned on the TV, Alex took it as a sign to leave her to it.

Once he got to his room and out to the balcony, he wasted no time to unlock his phone and scroll through Ella's pictures.

Her hair was darker now, she'd dyed it fully black and she looked amazing with it. Her ears looked like they were now adorned with multiple piercings but it wasn't just her ears that had jewelry, she had a septum piercing now. The thin gold piece of jewelry subtly poking from the bottom of her nose. She looked so different but still as stunning as ever.

In about five minutes of scrolling he had also found out that she'd gotten a bike, and both she and her boyfriend seemed to drive around California in their free time. There were pictures of her driving in the back of her boyfriend's bike surrounded by a large group of bikers and she'd captioned it 'nothing better than driving down the coast with your biker friends and the sunset in the background.'

There were pictures of her and her boyfriend in Tennessee, one in particular that made him take the longest drag out of his cigarette. Her boyfriend was sitting on the grass by a wooden fence, his legs spread as she sat in between them. Her brown cowboy boots on and a little white dress, her boyfriend had a cowboy hat that was hiding them kissing in the picture. The caption read, 'he's a cowboy like me.'

Another picture that made his blood boil was one that had captured her ass being groped by one of her boyfriend's hands. She was wearing some really small high waisted shorts that hugged her bottom perfectly and he wanted nothing more than to be in the place of that man. He let out a long sigh when he read 'he says i'm a handful'.

But then he scrolled further up and he lost his breath again at the picture of her in a bikini he hadn't really gotten to properly see before. She was wearing a silver bikini and her black cowboy boots as she sat on her bike, one of her legs was up as she rested her heel on the seat. She had her hands set a little behind her ass so she was leaning backwards with her head slightly thrown back, her face was half covered by a cowboy hat but it couldn't fully hide her closed eyes and her open mouth. It looked like she was moaning and Alex was losing it.

Fuck.

He went to the bathroom then, his pants too tight after he'd seen the picture and he didn't know what to do. It was either a cold shower or a guilty wank.

He was quick to jump in the shower, the water cold as it hit his chest and his face, but as he closed his eyes he found the picture engraved in his mind, meaning he wasn't finding a solution in the cold shower.

He came rather fast, a few minutes it took him as he imagined the noises she would make. Replaying her voice saying 'baby' and imagining how she'd sound moaning that in his ear. But afterwards, as his consciousness came back to him, he started to feel bad. His girlfriend was right outside, while he fucked his fist to the thought of someone else.

This is the first and last time, he promised himself.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

Ella had gotten a call from Matt's phone about a week before the band was due back in California, they had started it by yelling out her name and she'd chuckled at their volume. The lads had told her that they were landing in Los Angeles on Saturday the 18th, meaning she had to wait a week to see them all again.

She had missed them quite a lot so it hadn't been a hardship to know she had little time to prepare herself for their arrival. She was mostly excited, getting to see them all again, as well as Breana who she hadn't seen in a month—and she was missing her best friend a lot—, and to see Arielle again too.

As soon as they had landed, Bre had given her a call and they had settled on meeting at the pub Ella had been talking about at around seven in the evening.

So there she was, shoving her boyfriend's bike keys in her purse before locking her fingers with his and walking through the establishment's doors. She was surprised to see them there already, as she was only five minutes late to their agreed time, but the excitement multiplied then.

It was a fairly loud place, but the ambience was spectacular. They always played the best music and the walls were filled with band posters, tour memorabilia and little trinkets that were framed on the walls to commemorate different big artists in history. She loved coming to the place, especially on karaoke nights, which unfortunately wasn't happening that day.

"Well, well, well, fancy seeing y'all here." Ella greeted as she approached the large booth and they all jumped to their feet, her name being cheered by them all.

The difference from her right then to the start of the year struck Alex harder in person. The gold on her ears and poking out the bottom of her nose contrasted beautifully against her tan skin, and her leather jacket was a fine new addition to her look. He was glad to see she was wearing a pair of cowboy boots, one he hadn't seen before but it made him smile seeing she hadn't left that behind.

She let go of her boyfriend's hand to go hug everyone. She went from Nick to Jamie, Alex, Arielle, Matt and finished with Breana who she clutched a tad tighter as she claimed, "I missed you so much!"

Breana replied, "Missed you more," before she went to Ella's boyfriend and gave him a friendly hug, "How have you been, Jules?" the nickname for him falling easily from her lips as she'd met him a handful of times before.

The man had smiled, hugging her back, "Amazing, Bre. How was your trip?"

"It was fucking lovely, you two have to come with me next." the model winked at Ella, making her roll her eyes as she blushed.

She hummed, "Maybe... We'll see." and before she could sit down beside Breana, she introduced her boyfriend to everyone. "Guys, this is Julian, my boyfriend. Julian, this is Nick, Jamie, Alex, Arielle, and Matt."

Of course his name is Julian, Alex though. Not being able to shit on his name because he shared it with one of his favorite musicians.

Julian had gone to shake everyone's hands as Ella sat down beside her best friend. Her cheeks hurt already at everyone being so nice to her boyfriend. Alex took a good look at him when he shook his hand: he was tall—about six feet he could say—, his shoulders were broad, and even if he didn't look extremely bulky, he seemed like he made it a habit to work out, his skin was tan and it complimented his wavy dirty blonde hair but it was Julian's green eyes, though, what made him want to roll his eyes. The man was good looking, and it made Alex want to punch him even more.

"Saw you guys playing at the Olympics opening ceremony, that's massive! Congratulations." He smiled at the musicians as he took a seat beside Ella, his arm snaking around her waist and she scooted the tiniest bit closer to him with a loopy smile on her face.

And he's nice too? Fucks sake. "Thanks man," said Alex with a tight lip smile, tilting his half empty glass towards him before gulping it down.

Matt wasted no time before he started teasing Ella, "So Ellie, been pretty busy then?"

She rolled her eyes playfully, "I actually have been. Focus Creeps have been doing lots of productions for artists and bands since your videos were posted and now we have another PA. I'm kind of mentoring her, which is still surreal to me that I am but yes."

Matt pouted in fake pity then, "Poor girl, she must be tired of you."

Ella scoffed and everyone laughed, including Julian. She turned to pinch her boyfriend's waist, "Why are you laughing?!" She scolded him and then turned back to call out the menace Matt was, "You are a bully, Helders." She shook her head with a frown on her face, which dissipated when Julian left a kiss on her cheek. Her face melted into one of pure bliss with a big tight lip smile.

Alex wanted to gag.

"You love me Ellie." The drummer stated with a shrug.

Ella ignored him and turned to Breana, "I really wonder how you can stand him."

"You and every one of us, Ellie." added Nick with a snort, making everyone laugh.

Ella asked them all what drinks they wanted, seeing as most of their glasses were almost empty on the table, the ice watering down whatever alcohol they were drinking. Julian and Breana had gone with her to get everyone's drinks and when they came back, it wasn't long before they fell back into conversation.

They had been including Julian, which made Ella very happy, and an hour later they had found out lots about him. He was Californian born and raised, a photographer that worked for a well acclaimed magazine, sometimes writing pieces for them as well. He also worked as a freelance photographer and videographer, he had been hired for a bunch of different jobs: from weddings that had made him travel to many places, to filming documentaries on crab fishing in Alaska.

Everyone was so entranced by that last story, that it made Ella all hot and bothered. Every time he would tell it, she always grew hypnotized by him and the way he would explain it all, especially by the way he would use his hands. So when he was done and the conversation had moved onto another topic, she leaned into his ear to have him subtly follow her to the bathroom.

Julian smirked, knowing exactly what she meant and what she wanted to happen. The girl stood up, excusing herself and made her way to the bathroom, and Julian stood up a few minutes after her.

They had been rather quickly, or at least that's what she thought as she walked back to the table with Julian following a few steps behind her. She had gone ahead and sat back on the booth whilst her boyfriend had gone to get her another drink, and that's when she was met with the fact that they hadn't been subtle at all.

The first and most obvious clue was that her red lipstick was gone and her lips were puffy. Matt had elbowed Breana softly, pointing his chin towards Ella and smirked.

"Had fun Ella?" Matt asked vaguely with a very suggestive tone.

She frowned and felt her cheeks heating up but tried to play dumb as she downed whatever was left of the vodka and sprite she'd left on the table. "Huh?"

Jamie had caught up exactly onto what Matt was saying so wanting her to just fully admit it, he pushed, "Oh c'mon Ella, your lipstick is gone."

She knew her cheeks were pink but she couldn't care that she'd been caught so she shrugged it off, "The heart wants what it wants."

"And it wanted to give a blowjob?" inquired Arielle this time with a knowing smirk on her face.

Ella nodded at her with a smug expression, "It did." She admitted, no longer giving a shit.

They all hollered and that made Ella laugh. Julian came back to the table right then, a smirk on his face as he sat down and put her drink in front of her. He didn't know what the ruckus was about but he didn't really care when he was on cloud nine and very satisfied in every meaning of the word.

"Thanks babe." Ella said to him and took a sip of her beverage, thankful that she had asked for a double vodka and sprite this time. "Oh they know, by the way." She let him know with a sheepish smile.

Julian laughed then, throwing his arm around her shoulder, "Told you to put your lipstick back on, didn't I honey?" They all laughed as Ella shook her head but found comfort in her boyfriend's hold and her drink.

Breana couldn't help but ask, "So did he return the favor?"

She took another sip of her drink, basking in the coolness of the liquid running down her throat. "We'll resume things when we get home." She winked at Breana who responded with a shriek and Julian squeezed her thigh under the table.

What the fuck? Who is this and where is Ella? Alex kept thinking. She didn't seem like her usual self, it was all so out of character that he wondered what had happened for her to be so blunt and open like this.

Jamie interrupted Alex's thoughts when he said, "Right let's change topics then, before they start shagging on top of the table."

They erupted in laughter, Alex faking it to not be obvious about his distaste on what was unfolding before him. And then a song came on that actually worked perfectly to change the subject. "Oh I love this place, their music is always on point." Julian commented.

'New York City Cops' by The Strokes was coming through the speakers, Julian Casablancas' voice mixing with the chatter around the place and the clinking of glasses.

Jamie smiled then, glad to see they were finding more things in common with the lad, "You like The Strokes?"

He nodded, "No band like The Strokes... no offense guys."

He has a good taste in music too? Alex had to try his hardest not to roll his eyes.

"None taken. There truly isn't any like them." Nick waved him off.

Ella tapped the table frantically with the pads of her fingers when she remembered something they had told her. "Oh my god! Tell him how you met them!"

"Wait, you have met them?!" Julian inquired with his eyes wide open.

Alex nodded, "Yeah man, they're amazing. We met them after the NME awards in 2006, they took pictures with us after we won Best British Band and Best New Band. I still can't believe we've met them, they were the reason we started this band—or well, the reason I wanted to start a band."

"That's fucking amazing! I'm jealous now, damn." He added with a chuckle, making everyone smile back at him.

Yeah well, not as jealous as I'm of you and whatever happened in the bathroom with your girlfriend, mate.

About thirty more minutes went by before Julian turned to whisper something in Ella's ear. She smiled fondly, gave him a kiss and whispered something back to him before giving him his keys. He stood up, saying he sadly had to go but he'd had the best time meeting them all, and telling Ella to phone him when she wanted him to pick her up right before he left the table.

Ella was all heart eyes as her eyes followed his steps towards the entrance, and when Julian turned back around to blow her a kiss and wave her goodbye, she mirrored his actions.

Breana cooed at them, "Aren't you two cute?'' She hugged Ella to her side and squished her cheeks with her free hand.

"Stop it." The PA whined with her eyes almost closed, her words barely audible as her cheeks were still being pressed by Bre's hand.

Nick settled his drink down before starting a conversation up, "Now that he's gone we can properly gossip."

That made Ella chuckle, "What do you want to know?" She rubbed her face as she was now free from her best friend's hold but still felt her fingers on her skin.

Arielle was quick to ask the first and most important question, "First of all, how did you two meet?" which everyone was really dying to ask.

Ella sighed, "Well that's half cute, half embarrassing." She finished her drink before narrating. "So it happened at this country pub I had driven past one day, I decided to just go alone one night to check it out. I was drinking some whiskey the bartender had told me was really good and wasting my time watching some college football they had on, when he sat down beside me and started talking to me. He's lucky he's cute or else I would've told him to fuck off because I just wanted to be alone." She chuckled as she reminisced.

"I was sad that day, I don't remember why though." She was lying, she remembered exactly why, as it had only been a week after whatever happened with Alex. "We must've been talking for about half an hour when they put on some music and people started swing dancing. He stood up and grabbed my hand saying we should dance too. I told him I had no idea how to and he said to just follow his lead."

She shook her head and her smile got brighter as she continued, "Fast forward five minutes later he had me in his arms, and told me to kick one of my legs up. Of course I did it wrong but he was so cute correcting me. Next thing I know he had thrown me up slightly and somehow my leg was around his neck and that's how he got me to completely turn to the other side, still in his arms."

Ella tilted her head for a second to point at Breana as she said, "The next half of the story involves her, and I'm still mortified about it."

Breana snorted at the memory, and the PA kept going, "So later that night, I was texting him and Bre at the same time. I had just gotten around telling Bre the bit with the leg when I accidentally sent him what I was going to send her..." Ella blushed hard and she paused, too embarrassed at the memory to even say it out loud.

At the cliffhanger, Jamie pushed her to continue, "Go on then, what did you say?"

"I don't even wanna say it out loud." Ella hid behind her hands, but Breana was quick to respond for her.

"She said 'One of my legs has been on his shoulders already, wouldn't mind having both legs up on them.' You're welcome Ella, now continue."

Ella gasped, letting her hands fall from her face, "I actually hate you."

Arielle had her hand covering her mouth, every single one of the lads were shocked as well. Matt was the first one to talk though, "Bloody hell, Ella! What did he say?!"

Her cheeks were red as she looked up to everyone, "He just said 'Well I wouldn't mind that either' and the rest is history. We went on a lot of dates, called each other every day if we were not hanging out together until one day we decided we already were acting like a couple so we might as well make it official."

Nick was the next one to go, "How long have you been together then?"

"It's been a little over four months." She replied quickly, knowing exactly the day off the top of her head.

Alex let his thoughts leave him before he could process them, "Not long after we left then?"

Ella avoided his gaze, playing with the straw in her empty glass, "Nope, not long after."

Alex nodded, taking the information in. It all seemed so unlike her, especially after what she'd told him about her relationships; she wasn't one for starting something with someone she'd just met and that's exactly what she was doing here.

Everyone at the table had felt the air shift around them at that last question and answer, but thankfully for everyone, Alex's girlfriend was none the wiser to the whole situation and she was a romantic so she felt like she had to know something else, "Have you said the L word yet?"

That loopy smile was brought back to Ella's face at the question, "Yes," she said shyly.

Breana gasped then and hit her arm, "What the fuck?! You haven't told me this!"

Ella turned to her, grabbing her best friend's hands, "I know, I know. It only happened a week ago so I was waiting for you to come back to tell you."

"Do tell then." Breana insisted, not really having the patience to wait until they left and she could call her so that Ella could finally tell her in private.

"Fucks sake." She cursed under her breath, seeing all eyes on her. "We were at his parents house and I had just met his sister, who has the cutest little baby. They had gone to buy dessert and left me and Julian with the baby. I was holding her and she kept blabbering on and on, and I kept acting as if I was talking with her when he just leaned into me and kissed my cheek and told me 'I love you so much'."

Breana shrieked, "Oh my god!!! Are you joking?!"

"I'm not," Ella's cheeks hurt from how big her smile was and Arielle was cooing at the story too, "I thank everything out there that we were sitting or else I swear I would've dropped the baby out of shock."

"Did you say it back?" asked Alex, sipping on his whiskey.

And curiosity killed the cat.

Ella nodded enthusiastically, "'Course I did, I adore that man." It was so easy for her to admit, and she would scream it out loud as many times as she could if she had the opportunity to.

Alex nodded in response, he was having an internal debate: he was happy that she was happy but he didn't like that it was someone else that got to be like that with her. And for that he felt so selfish.

Breana and Arielle let out long 'awh's in unison, Nick scrunching his nose at Ella before saying, "Look at you in love, it's disgusting." a fake tone of endearment on his voice.

"Right?" added Jamie in the same tone.

"You are about to get married," she pointed at the bassist first and then to the guitarist, "And you just got engaged, so don't talk shit when you're the same."

"Well I didn't just suck my boyfriend off in the bathroom, so I can definitely talk shit." Jamie was quick to reply back, making her roll her eyes.

"Can't you just let a girl have some fun? Jeez." She exclaimed before she got back up, "Anyone want a refill?" They took a fair few seconds to reply to her, she was much more straight forward now and it was leaving them stunned.

She went off with Breana again, this time Matt following right behind. But right when they got to the bar and she was waiting for the bartender to finish serving the three ladies beside her, Matt told her some news that almost made her heart stop.

"Have Ben and Aaron told you we're having you record a little documentary for us?"

She turned to the drummer faster than she realized she could, "What?" Her frown was deep, her eyes searching his to find any clue that he was just joking.

But Matt wasn't joking, "Yeah, you're gonna be at the studio with us for a few weeks during this month we're staying. I think we're coming back after the holidays to continue recording so you're joining us then as well." He explained the best he could with the little confirmed information he had.

Her mouth opened to talk but the words got stuck in her throat, "I–, erm. They hadn't told me anything, but um, yeah I'm gonna ask them on Monday."

"Brilliant!" The drummer replied before letting the bartender know what drinks they wanted.

Once they got back to the table and they had given everyone their respective drinks, their conversations resumed. They had pinballed from the Olympics to Nick's upcoming wedding planned for exactly a year from then, to some celebrity gossip they had heard around at the Olympics to the pictures taken that day and that's how Ella had ended up saying:

"You two are actually adorable," her gaze stuck on Alex and Arielle, the couple just smiled at her. "I've seen so many pictures of you everywhere, I'm so happy for you guys."

Arielle brought her hand to her chest and cooed, "Awh thank you, Ella."

Ella took a sip of her drink, really needing the liquid courage to ask her first question, "How long have you been together then?" Her tone made it seem lighthearted and like she was just making small talk but this was it for her, the last thing she wanted to know before fully putting the matter to rest.

Arielle turned to Alex, looking directly into his eyes for a few seconds like the answer was right there and then turned back to Ella, "So it started that night when we filmed 'R U Mine?' remember?" She asked Ella, and the PA could only fake a tender knowing smile as if that night hadn't been awful for her for that same thing.

"He left right after, but I was going to the UK with a friend a couple of weeks later so we met up over there and," She blushed slightly and grabbed the singer's hand on top of the table, rested her head on his shoulder and shrugged, "It all just happened, I suppose. So it's been about three months hasn't it?"

He hummed, squeezing her hand. "I reckon three, yes."

"Awh, adorable." Ella replied with a sweet smile, she felt relieved by the sense of closure. Yes it did sting a bit how fast he had changed her, not even 48 hours after they had gone on a date back then and how he had decided to make the girl he'd switched her for his girlfriend; but the hurt lasted for a few seconds, she felt free then. The whole situation had somehow brought her Julian, and she was very much grateful for that.

"You didn't tell me how that talent recruitment event went, Arielle. Was it good?"

Arielle gasped then, "Ellie, you're a godsend for that! After the Coke campaign I got the invitation for it and I'm signed now!"

Ella clapped her hands, "That's fucking amazing! Congratulations!"

And that's how they spent the next three hours, talking about everything that they'd missed in the past months they hadn't seen each other. Until Julian had called Ella to check up on her and tell her he was already done at his parents' house, and he could come by picking her up in the next twenty minutes.

She accepted her boyfriend's proposal, it was nearing midnight and she was spent. She promised to see them all soon again when she got a text from Julian saying he was outside, grabbing her purse from beside her and pocketing her phone before hugging everyone goodbye.

From the table they had the perfect view of the street, meaning they got to see how Ella basically threw herself onto Julian's arms, him catching her and clutching her tight as they swayed for a few seconds. He pulled back to shower her face in kisses, and ended it all with a chaste kiss on her lips. When Ella pulled back she grabbed the helmet from his hand and put it on to leave on his bike.

"Ugh, I love them." Bre was the first one to talk, making everyone nod in agreement as they watched them drive away.

"They're like one of those hot biker couples you see in movies." Arielle added and Breana hummed.

Nick nodded, "They are."

Alex rolled his eyes automatically because they actually were, and he hated it. But then his girlfriend's voice brought him back to where they were and after that, all he could recall was drinking the night away.

What he hadn't seen was that Bre caught his annoyed face and that only made the model want to fight the singer in the very spot. She was aware of what had happened, after she had managed to scoop it out of Ella many weeks after that eventful week in February, and she couldn't blame her for keeping her distance from the man. He had been an absolute asshole, so for him to be acting all bratty over Ella being happy and in love with someone else, like he didn't have his very own girlfriend sitting beside him, had Breana fuming.

The audacity this dickhead has, she thought.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

It had been true, what Matt said. Ben told her she'd be spending the following fortnight at the studio recording the band like she'd done twice before. Only this time, she'd have to permanently try to get footage of their time in the studio—whether it was them fucking about or actually making music.

She'd let out a big sigh when Ben left her sitting at her desk, emails to respond looking at her face as she made peace with what was coming. It's just gonna be like hanging out with them and having fun, she told herself to ease her nerves. There was something about being alone with them again—with Alex—that was making her feel uneasy, slightly scared of how awkward it may be or how uncomfortable it could feel.

Just breathe.

That's what she told herself as her boots scrunched on the dirt, her steps firmly taking her up to the front door and she knocked. A lovely man with a long gray beard, called David, let her in, showing her the way and she thanked him with a smile.

She was rather surprised by the look of it all, the studio seemed so laid back and much like a little southern cabin in the middle of the desert. It was a stark contrast to the studios she had visited before but the place being so casual made her feel more comfortable.

In her left hand, she was carrying a cup holder in which she had five cups of coffee. She was hoping the gesture would serve as a good sign that all was good by her and she planned to keep it that way. She would try her hardest not to make it awkward.

She took a deep breath before she opened the door and was greeted by the band and their confused expressions which only lasted a few seconds. When they realized it was Ella they erupted in cheer as if they hadn't seen her just last week.

She giggled, "Good morning guys, you're very energetic today." She let her bag drop from her shoulder onto a settee that was set next to the door. "Maybe I shouldn't have brought you coffee."

Nick sighed and went over to hug her, "No, you're actually a lifesaver. Planning a wedding through the phone is a nightmare."

Ella cooed but a chuckle cut it short, "Awh Nick," and after they hugged, she lifted the cup holder to read which one was Nick's. "Here you go." She handed the bassist his coffee and then turned to the rest of the band.

"I got them as I remembered you liked them. Hope your orders haven't changed much since February."

Maybe mentioning February hadn't been the best idea because the room fell silent for a few seconds, but they had felt like an eternity.

Fuck.

Thankfully, Matt decided to be the menace he always was and made the tension lift up from her shoulders by chatting back, "Not the best PA, are you?"

She rolled her eyes, "I haven't been here for five minutes yet and I already wanna strangle you."

He winced, "Sorry Ellie, not really into getting choked myself but nice try."

Her sigh was loud and it made them laugh. She just decided to hand Jamie and Alex their coffees, to which they thanked her for, before grabbing hers and taking a gulp of her now warm beverage.

"Well," she started, setting her cup down on a coffee table in the middle of the room, "Get on with what you were doing, act like I'm not here."

Matt was quick to tease her, "Brilliant, just what I wanted to do."

She scoffed, not impressed by his antics. She was regretting asking superior powers for a brother when she was a kid because Matt was definitely like an older brother to her now and he was more annoying than she'd expected one to actually be.

"I will actually fight you Matthew, so shut up."

Matt cackled, "Would love to see you try." And before she could bite back, he started playing a beat on the drums that drowned everyone else's voice.

She kept to doing her own thing, turning the camera on and recording them. It was interesting seeing it unfold before her eyes. The way Matt kept coming up with different drum patterns to which Nick jumped in with his bass.

There was a moment in which Nick came up with the start of quite a catchy bass line and Jamie was quick to tell him to keep going whilst he grabbed a guitar to add to it. Soon enough it felt like the instruments were playing with the other as if chasing each other's chords and melting into one lovely melody that had them all nodding like that was it.

Matt started forming a beat around them and Alex stood up to grab his guitar and tried with different chord combinations to jump into it. Alex kept writing down the bass tabs and the guitar chords they were using in a journal he had, which seemed to have songs he'd written as well because he was quick to flip through the pages and sing a few lines to see how they would fit in the song.

Ella could see him scribbling around the pages as he kept singing whatever came to mind and building up the song.

When the zeros line up on the 24-hour clock

When you know who's calling even though the number is blocked

When you walked around your house wearing my sky blue Lacoste

And your knee socks

They stopped for a few minutes, Alex still sitting in his chair bopping his head to what they had just created, still playing in his head. She kept the camera on him and his concentrated face, the way he would quickly write around the pages on his journal had her intrigued.

This was a moment that she knew she'd feel glad she caught on tape in a few years, just because she had a feeling that whatever they were starting in the studio was going to be bigger than they'd ever anticipate.

The band had grown somewhat infatuated by the origins of the song, stuck on different ways they could take the main melody. They had settled already that it sounded like a perfect chorus so they'd build the song around that.

When James Ford got to the studio, it was like he had stepped into a vortex since he got sucked into the process so quickly that he had barely been able to properly say hello to Ella.

After an hour and a half of non-stop brainstorming that Ella had been hearing as background noise while she read through some emails and scheduled calls with clients, they decided to take a break. Everyone left, or that's what she thought as she typed away, until she was startled by a sneeze.

"Jesus, fuck!" She lowered her macbook screen, her eyes wide from the scare. "Oh– Bless you, Alex."

He smiled at her, a shy one that seemed a little tense. "Thanks Ella."

Alex watched her as she nodded with a shy smile on her face as well, lifting her screen back up to continue working. He wasn't doing much more than sorting through his journal and making mental notes of which of the songs he'd written he wanted to try and bring alive in this record, but he was distracted now.

He was very aware of her presence and she was too. She could feel his gaze burning on her but she was too nervous to even look up, she knew she didn't know what to say or how to act so she'd rather avoid it.

But the tension grew thicker and he hated it, the only solution he could find for it was to try to make small talk.

"So... How was your week, Ellie?" The singer asked slowly, as if treading an unknown path.

Her fingers froze hovering over the keyboard, "It was good, erm, a little busy but good."

He felt the way she was starting quiet and close away and maybe staying quiet would've been better but the words just came out of his mouth to try and make the old days come back, when they could talk about everything and anything for hours.

"Bre told us she was doing a shoot with you on Wednesday, hope that went well."

She gave him a genuine smile then, because the shoot had actually been lovely and it had gone better than she had planned it. "It was perfect, the sun worked amazingly with us. I have to get them printed soon though, so I can send the scans to Bre and she can add them to her portfolio."

"Was it on film?" Alex asked before he could process, he just wanted to keep the conversation flowing but what a stupid question that was because he knew she only ever shot on film.

She let out a giggle to hide her disbelief. Had he really forgotten she only shot on film? "Yes, I only shoot on film, remember?" It came out sassy and she hadn't meant it but she couldn't take it back now.

He laughed nervously, "Yeah, I know. Sorry, very stupid question."

Ella only smiled reassuringly, "It's okay."

The beats of silence were almost as loud as their heartbeats. Alex felt his pumping heart sounding in his ears and Ella did too, both hoping the other couldn't hear it too.

He started fiddling with his pen, "Was it themed?"

She shook her head, "Not really, we just played with how well the sun was positioned and did some shadow photography."

Alex hummed, not really knowing what to say next. Ella bit her lip, seeing through the corner of her eye how he looked to be fighting within himself. She felt bad for not trying to make things better.

"Has the past week been too hectic?" Her question sounded shy, both of them were acting so sheepish and whereas Ella's behavior had always been that way, it was weird seeing Alex anything other than confident.

He hesitated before responding, "Not really? I mean we had to go 'round quite a lot but it's the typical occurrence when we come to the States. The second week and on is much easier."

"Well, thankfully that's over and done with. I suppose you're relieved to be in the studio, finally." She decided to just close her laptop and give him her full attention.

Her actions made him breathe in relief as it felt like she wasn't trying to hide behind the screen anymore.

"Yes, to be fair. Feel like it's been too long since we've made something new, properly. When we recorded 'R U Mine?' it went by so quickly 'cause it took us so little to get it done—so, erm, yes. We were itching to be back recording."

She smiled sweetly at him then, "You guys look very in your element here, I was keeping it cool for the sake of the process but I was blown away by how easily you just– well, the way you can just do all that."

Alex laughed softly. She's so cute, was all he thought and it only made his smile grow. "Thanks Ellie, it's a thing that just happens because of how long we've been making music together. We bounce off each other now."

She had run out of things to say, her eyes focused on him but her brain struggling to find anything else to talk about.

Why is this so hard now? She hated it.

Luckily, she was saved by the bell—or rather by the rest of the band and James coming back from the kitchen, their loud chatter filling the hallways as they walked back to the room.

"Ellie, you have to see what I've found in the other room by the keyboards." Matt pointed at her and she was slightly afraid. One was never safe when it came to his spontaneous ideas.

She stared at him unsure of what to do, "Erm..."

The drummer started making his way back out of the room, waving at her to join him. "C'mon! Bring the camera." He added from the hallway.

She had to quickly grab the camcorder, her steps fast to catch up with him. The screen flashed a red 'rec' on the corner right as she walked through the threshold of a room she was seeing for the first time.

He walked in first and then stopped in the corner where most of the keyboards met and pointed towards what he'd found.

She deflated as she saw a little vintage coin machine that read 'Check your sex appeal'. On the bottom it instructed one to put one's finger on the sensor, deposit a quarter and then they'd give the score. With an eye roll she turned to Matt, "I thought you were gonna show me a spider or something." She had seen multiple lying around the place, unbothered.

"If it was a spider, I would've caught it and thrown it over your head." Matt replied with a cynical smile on his face.

Ella scoffed, "Sometimes I think you hate me."

He chuckled, opening his arms and approaching the girl to hug her. "You know I love you, Ellie."

"Yeah, sure, sure." He was holding her tight on purpose, to bother her some more. He really was like her older brother. The camera shook in her hands as she struggled in his hold.

He let go of her with a kiss on the cheek, "Have you got 25 cents?" He asked, seeing that it was needed to make the machine work.

"Yeah, in my purse." The drummer didn't even waste a second before he quickly went back to the main room to retrieve it. He was back in about ten seconds and she fished for her wallet when he opened her purse for her. "Does it even work?" she asked, seeing as the machine looked old—the red light on the 'sensor' was very dim, it was hard to read the 00 on the corner.

He shrugged, holding up a quarter in his fingers. "Let's try."

"Yeah, we need everyone to be here though. This cannot go without witnesses." She was recording it all but she wanted everyone to be there just so they could all have a laugh.

"Oh yes, go ahead. I want everyone to see how you lose."

"We shall see about that Matthew." She walked back to where the rest of the group was and called them over.

When Matt saw everyone enter the room behind Ella, he smirked. "Yous ready?"

They all nodded, Jamie rolled his eyes at his friend's excitement over such a dumb thing but he wasn't expecting any less from the idiot that Matt Helders was.

For some reason, he paused before slotting the coin in. "No, actually..." he offered the coin to Ella, "Ellie please do us the honor."

The PA sighed, wanting to do anything but go first in the stupid thing but she wanted to get it over with sooner rather than later. She grabbed the quarter from him and he took the camera from her, making sure to catch what she was going to do.

She pressed her pointer finger on the supposed sensor, and slid the coin in. "If this thing doesn't work, I'm gonna laugh in your face, Helders."

It took a few seconds for the red light to glow, the drummer smirking at Ella as if to rub it in her face that it actually worked. Everyone was watching them amused, the bickering was quite entertaining to them all and they were happy to be around Ella again.

Another few seconds passed before the machine beeped, startling the girl. "Jesus!" She dropped her hand and when she saw the 62, she shrugged not even caring to see what that meant on the list below the sensor.

Matt cackled, getting another quarter from her wallet and giving her the camera back to walk up to the machine as well. "Okay Ellie, are you ready to lose?"

"Get on with it Matt." She made sure to capture him perfectly even though she wasn't sure they'd use that footage on the documentary.

Repeating the process, Matt waited for the beep to reveal his score and when he got 134, he cheered. His arms up in the air like he had just won the championship to something.

He walked over to Ella teasing her about her brutal loss when Jamie wandered over to the coin machine and burst out laughing.

Everyone turned as the guitarist laughed and Nick went over curious to see what was so funny. When he read the list below the sensor, he joined Jamie in laughter.

"Helders, mate, I'm not sure you won at all there." Nick managed between chuckles.

Ella quickly walked over to read the list, making sure the camera caught it too and she cackled. "134 you got, didn't you? Mr. Total couch potato."

That only made Nick laugh harder, Alex and James started chuckling at Matt's face. The drummer walked over to see the list and he scoffed. "What the fuck? That score system doesn't make fucking sense."

Total couch potato - over 130

Semi sexy couch potato - 115-129

Sexy couch potato - 100-114

Sexy but firm up your good body - 85-99

Great body and sexy - 70-84

Super body and sexy - 60-69

Fantastic body and sexy - below 60

"I got 62 by the way. Just in case you forgot." Ella made sure to rub it in and Helders waved his hand dismissing her.

He shook his head in disbelief, and went over to her wallet to get another quarter. "We're doing this again."

"But–" She went to argue but was cut by Matt grabbing her right hand and pressing her pointer finger on the sensor and dropping the coin in. "For fucks sake, Matt." She cursed, moving the camera to face Matt's annoyed facial expression and when the machine beeped, showing her a glorious 60, she burst out laughing.

"Now's my turn." He pressed his finger on the sensor and inserted the coin.

Everyone quieted down as they waited for the beep and when it rang in their ears, showing a 129, Jamie read "A slight glow up, semi sexy couch potato." making everyone erupt in laughter again.

"Okay, whatever." Matt said loudly and defeated in between everyone else's noise, "It's broken, obviously."

Ella sighed, after her fit of laughter, focusing the camera back on the drummer. "Told you Bre was doing charity work with you." Nick snorted at that, nodding his head just to add to the fire.

Matt gasped, throwing his hand over his heart, faking being wounded by her very words. "Bitch." He said as if he had just been betrayed.

She chuckled as he left the room, still shaking his head, "Oh I'm so glad I caught all that on camera."

Nick threw his arm over her shoulders and kissed her temple, "You are brilliant, Ellie."

She smiled so bright, her eyes closed, and leaned her head on the bassist's shoulder in contentment.

When she opened her eyes, she was instantly met by Alex grinning at her and she smiled back at him.

The two weeks she'd have to stay there would be long but she hoped they'd get easier. She could only hope for that.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

All of her hopes had drowned a week later. She thought she had made progress in that first week since when she left that Sunday, it felt like the tension was wearing thin. They could now joke around like everyone else and it wasn't met with brief silences that felt like cuts to their throats.

That was until the Monday of the second week arrived, and she was dropped off at the studio by Julian. As they got closer to the place, she was praying that whoever was standing outside wasn't Alex but the universe loved laughing at her face so Alex was exactly who was outside, smoking calmly with his eyes firmly on Ella.

She sighed under her helmet before she took it off and got off the bike. She gave Alex a tight lip smile, "Good morning, Alex." She could feel the awkwardness rising once again.

"Good morning, Ellie." He replied, grateful for how the cigarette was helping him relax even in the slightest.

Julian took his helmet off then, shaking his head to fix his hair, with a bright smile. "Hey Alex, good morning."

Alex lifted his hand up to greet him, "Morning, man."

Ella sighed and turned to her boyfriend, fixing his hair before she said bye. "You'll pick me up later yeah?" Her hand was cupping his jaw and Alex hated seeing the look of adoration in her eyes.

"'Course." Julian said with a smile, his right hand coming up to grab Ella's hand that was on his face and kissed the palm of it. "Love you, have fun okay?"

Ella smiled even harder and nodded as she leaned down to peck his lips. "Love you, see you later."

Ella turned to start walking towards the studio when she heard Julian calling out to Alex, "Turner! Take care of my girl, yeah?" His question was up in the air as he put his helmet back on.

She blushed as she turned back around to laugh at her boyfriend. Alex let out the smoke from his lungs and nodded, "Always."

Ella felt like someone had gut punched her then, Why does this have to happen to me?

Julian nodded and revved the engine, blowing Ella a kiss before driving away—leaving a cloud of dust in his wake.

They both watched as the bike got smaller in the horizon and once it disappeared from their sight, she cleared her throat. "You going in yet?"

He nodded, "I'm almost done." taking one last drag of his cigarette before tossing it to the ground.

As they walked up to the place, he couldn't hold his tongue back, "So is he gonna drop you off everyday now?"

There was a subtle tone in his voice that didn't settle well with her, "Just today." She answered quickly with a forced smile on her face, letting her feet take her faster up the steps and towards the door. She didn't wanna overthink about the way he'd ask but it was already planning to play on loop in her mind.

Maybe she was making it worse in her mind but the awkwardness was palpable at the moment, and she just couldn't brush it off and ignore it.

When she opened the door everyone was there at the kitchen by the entrance making breakfast, when they saw her they greeted her sweetly. She was so grateful for them all being there already, just so she didn't have to spend time alone with Alex after that.

Surprisingly though, after they had all had breakfast together, the day rolled off smoothly and she'd only interacted directly with Alex a handful of times. The band had gone fully back into finishing a song they'd named 'You're So Dark' and slowly rolled into the making of another one that they hadn't titled yet but the chorus kept on with the phrase 'i want it all' so she'd refer to it as such.

She ignored the way Alex sang the words 'space age country girl, stone cold miracle' and the not-so-subtle looks he took at her every time it rolled off his tongue.

By three in the afternoon, she'd excused herself to take a skype call with Ben, Aaron and a new client. She'd gone to the room furthest away from them and even though she knew the walls could keep her voice from getting to them and ruining any recording, she'd still tried to be as quiet as she could.

That's why she was surprised to see everyone gone when she left the call. She wandered around the place, really taking time to admire every corner of the one-of-a-kind recording studio. She could see Queens of the Stone Age memorabilia, a portrait of PJ Harvey smoking a cigarette perched on one of the sofas in the studio hanging on the wall.

The array of different kinds and brands of guitars drew her in like a magnet. She had no idea how to play one but they all looked stunning and she wished at that moment she knew how to play at least one simple song.

"I never asked you if you knew how to play." The sudden appearance of Alex's voice scared her. She jumped in her place, turning slowly with a hand over her heart.

"Alex, for fucks sake." She cursed through her teeth.

He smiled softly, "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you."

She sighed, "Where is everyone? I thought you'd all left."

He shrugged, "They said something about getting food. Left before I could put down the guitar."

"Oh that was probably Matt's idea." Leaving Alex behind had to be his brilliant idea, she rolled her eyes at how he'd completely missed how that would turn out for her.

Alex nodded, "Most likely, yeah."

They stood there quietly—Alex resting against the door frame, Ella's fingers dancing over the guitars' necks.

"Did they leave long ago?" She crossed her fingers mentally, hoping they'd be back soon.

He only shook his head and with that she deflated, "They left about fifteen minutes ago."

Ella let out a humorless chuckle, "Great."

It looked like he was trying not to open his mouth, and she almost just told him to spill it all but she truly didn't want it to happen. Whatever would come out of his mouth would only make the situation ten times worse and she was still feeling unsettled by the question he'd made before coming into the studio in the morning.

She decided to sit in one of the chairs, slumping forward as she cradled her head in her hands. A headache already bubbling in the back of her skull, she rubbed her temples with her fingers. In the background she heard as Alex took a seat on the big settee by the door, one that faced her directly.

Alex cracked his knuckles and cleared his throat, he was getting the courage to ask everything he wanted to know. "So how has it been then?" His question was so vague she hummed in confusion—she had been with them for a week straight, what could he mean by that?

And then he shuffled in his seat and tried again, "With him, I mean. How's everything been with, erm, Julian?" He said his name with a struggle, like it hurt his throat to let it out.

"Very good, thanks. We're doing great." She fake coughed, straightening in her seat uncomfortably.

Alex nodded his head continuously, "He seems like a good guy... Interesting lad."

"He is. Wonderful, very interesting too, yeah." Her smile was so forced and it pained him to see.

"He really likes traveling doesn't he?" At that point he didn't even know what he was doing, he was just talking out of his ass.

"Oh yes, a lot. He has the best stories from traveling around for work."

He hummed, "Do you ever travel together?"

Ella chewed on her bottom lip before answering. "Sometimes. We tend to stay in California for work but there's times we travel together whenever I have to go somewhere with Focus Creeps and he's free or we're both able to go on a little weekend holiday."

"Really? Where have you been?" Curiosity killed the cat, he reminded himself. He was very aware of that but his mouth was going faster than his brain.

"We went to Mexico for our first month. We've been to Alaska and New York, but most of the time we take trips around the west coast." She recounted her drives with Julian to the different states along the coast they called home. "He's actually gone to Tennessee with me quite a few times." She added quickly.

"Oh yeah, I sa—. I, erm, suppose that was nice." His tongue tangled when he realized he was about to expose himself, but she hummed.

She knew he had seen, his secret instagram account handle was very not subtle and she'd gotten surprised when he followed her right after that call about the Olympics. "It was. Lovely to see him in my hometown and with my family, really. He fits right in."

He hated how she said that, like it was something that was written in stone. "Right, yes."

She didn't know why, but her brain just wanted her to scream a little detail that knew would ruin things even more. It was probably the thought of it hurting him, the way it had all hurt her back at the start of the year and she felt weirdly in need of some revenge. "We actually go to Belmont Park quite often."

A surprised "Oh." escaped his lips. That fact stung him like alcohol on a fresh cut wound, and that's when Alex noticed the situation hadn't hurt him as much before as it had in that very moment. The fact that she went to a place that so vividly was him and her with someone else felt like the biggest type of betrayal.

"Do you?" The question sat bitterly on his tongue.

It had been a mistake even mentioning it. A double edged knife as it all came like an avalanche over her. "Yeah, it's a lovely place during summertime." It reminded her why she never did revenge, it would always hurt her right back like she was doomed with automatic karma.

He sighed, sorting through his memories. "I remember that place quite fondly."

Ella panicked then, the need to remind him where he stood was strong inside her just to keep him from saying anything stupid that might make her spiral. "How's Arielle?" She spat the question like the words were burning her tongue.

He froze in his place for a second, his brain stopping the reel of Ella and his time in the coastal amusement park to replace it for the American model who was his girlfriend. "She's alright." He shrugged, not really caring to think much for detail. "Busy with casting calls and modeling gigs, but good."

She hated how the first thing her brain did was compare herself to Arielle, making her chuckle dryly. "Good thing she's a model right? Can travel around the world with you." She wanted to slap herself then for exposing her very biggest insecurity when it had come to her and Alex back then.

But Alex was too distracted by the new batch of questions flooding his mind to even notice what she'd just said. "I guess, yes."

"Of course it is, you're always in the presence of your muse." She was trying her hardest to push him to plainly tell her how much he adored Arielle just so she'd kill the shadow of hurt creeping back onto her but he didn't.

His gaze stayed fixated on her for a long few seconds, her breath caught in her throat seeing him zoned out with his eyes firmly on her. Ella cleared her throat and that's when he came back to reality. "Sure, my muse, yes. Lucky to have her always by my side." His reply was so meek it made her want to scream at him.

What do you want from me? She wanted to ask, over and over, until he gave her a fully honest answer.

"I'm just curious..." He started again, after half a minute of silence with eyes fixed on the floor. "Isn't it weird?"

Again he went with the vague inquiries, she frowned looking at him. "What?"

Alex looked up, feeling her burning gaze on him. "I dunno, just how fast you started it all with Julian." His words were weak, almost like he knew it was a mistake to have even said that out loud.

She was ready to start getting defensive but she'd give him another opportunity to explain himself before she could explode if it was needed. "What do you mean?"

He sighed, trying to word his thoughts in the best way possible, "Well, you know, I remember you telling me about how falling for someone you'd just met wasn't your thing."

"I said and did lots of things then, didn't I?" Her words came out heated, Ella was growing tired and she kept wondering what the hell was he trying to get from her.

"Do you regret them?" He was quick to ask, like that sentence had been a direct attack towards him. The question was looking for a deeper answer.

"Maybe." She tried to sound determined but it came out more like a question. She truly didn't regret anything that had happened or that she'd said because it all ended in the growth of herself as a person but, fuck, she just wanted him to hurt so he could drop the subject and whatever he was trying to achieve.

He only hummed in acknowledgment, making her feel like she had to further prove herself.

"He changed everything I had ever thought in a matter of weeks, I just know I love him and he loves me so that's more than enough for me. Time doesn't mean much to me anymore."

"Right." Alex nodded, his gaze staying on her for just a fleeting moment before it dropped down to the floor.

Ella continued then, finding more things she wanted to say, "No matter how long you've known people for, they always turn out to be someone you don't expect so I wasn't gonna lose an amazing person because of my fear of getting hurt." She was trying to find his eyes, just so he knew she meant every word that left her lips but he wasn't brave enough to make eye contact as she said all that. He felt like he was getting poked in his chest with a sharp and pointy knife. "I mean, you said it, didn't you?"

That's what got him to look up instantly, "What?" the singer asked, confused.

Alex's voice as they walked around Las Vegas came back to her very clearly, like the moment was happening at that very second: 'That's true, but don't close yourself off to the chances. Someday you'll meet that one person who'll change your mind about that and they will sweep you off your feet. Often heartbreak is necessary along the way, it shows you what's the right way you deserve to be loved.'

"That someday I'd meet a person who'd change my mind about all that time bullshit I used to swear by, and how they'd sweep me off my feet. That's exactly what he did." Ella recited his words back to him.

And the very moment came back to him like an ice cold water bucket being poured over his head. His words had come back to bite him on the ass. "I guess I did." His voice sounded defeated. "Yeah, erm, that's good. Good." Alex had no idea what he had tried to achieve with all that but, fucking hell, he felt like he had ruined everything.

They stayed quiet for what felt like a century but it had only been a minute. Their breathing sounded too loud and the beating of their heavy hearts was very present in their ears.

When her phone rang, she couldn't help but sigh in relief but her shoulders slumped when the name 'Jules <3' shone bright on her screen.

"Guess we summoned him." The PA joked, trying to lighten up the mood but he gave her the most humorless laugh that made her internally cringe. What the fuck am I supposed to do now? She asked herself, as if the whole situation had been her fault and not Alex's.

She stood up and pointed at the door to tell him she'd pick up and talk by the kitchen, he nodded dully and watched her go in the reflection of the window. He had fucked it all up and he knew it.

He could hear her in the distance and he hated the isolated zone the studio was in because the lack of city bustle meant he could hear everything she said.

"Hi babe!" Her greeting was chipper, she sounded relieved. "Not yet, the guys have gone out to get some lunch and then I guess they'll stay a few more hours until they're done." She paused for a few seconds but he couldn't make out whatever her boyfriend was saying on the other side of the line. "Yeah, they're great. You'd love to see them recording, it truly is magical." Alex smiled, as he could hear the sincerity in her voice.

"Oh?" Ella sounded surprised and he wondered what Julian could've told her. "Jules, are you fucking kidding?" She sounded breathless and elated. "No baby, not nice to hear when we're more than an hour away." Alex hated hearing her calling someone else that pet name. "Well I cannot wait to be home then." There was a small pause before she let out a sweet little giggle that melted Alex's insides. "What did I do to deserve you huh?" Alex rolled his eyes thinking about how Julian didn't deserve her but he couldn't say much, because he didn't deserve Ella either.

"Something new to try?" Her voice had turned suggestive then, and he hated that his brain started going through the endless possibilities of what that could mean. "Fuck, Julian." That had come out like a choked up whimper and Alex had had to shut his eyes close hard to focus on his thoughts not going there but then she said, "Yes, you fucking tease." almost out of breath and just that made the singer's thoughts start going in a forbidden direction. "Well if you had a car maybe we could move it forward but unfortunately you don't, so..." That made him freeze though, as he instantly imagined them two together in the back of a car and it was a visual he absolutely loathed.

"I fucking love you, you know that?" Her words were determined and they hit him like a truck. "Okay babe, cannot fucking wait to be home already." Another giggle that made Alex want to die echoed through the place and just as he was about to start plugging his ears to not listen anymore, she ended the call with a "See you soon then, love you."

He had to hurriedly grab his journal, scribbling around a new page when he heard her steps coming back in his direction.

When Ella entered the room again, she gave him a side smile. She went straight to her purse and grabbed her lighter and cigarettes, "I'm gonna go for a smoke, be right back."

"Alright." Alex nodded as he kept his eyes frozen on the white page that was slowly filling up with words that seemed to be just flooding out of him. The sound of her boots mixing with the ticking of the grandfather clock in the hallway replaying in his mind as the ink ruined the paper.

I wanna grab both your shoulders and shake

Snap out of it

Under a spell you're hypnotized

Darling, how could you be so blind?

If that watch don't continue to swing

Or the fat lady fancies having a sing

I'll be here, waiting ever so patiently for you to

Snap out of it

I've heard that you fell in love

Or near enough

It sounds like settling down or giving up

But it don't sound much like you

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

After that extremely awkward Monday, when she'd felt Alex's gaze burning on her back as she left the place in the back of Julian's bike, the week had gone by extremely slowly. She loved the band but she felt like she was suffocating under the heavy tension between her and Alex.

So when it reached Friday, the last day that she'd be recording them for the rest of the year, she felt like she could breathe more easily.

Matt had been an absolute nightmare though, ringing her at six in the morning so that she could be at the studio by half past seven.

"Matt, I will castrate you when I see you later," was the first thing she said when she picked up.

The man on the other line snorted, "Oh I'm so afraid." The heavy sarcasm in his voice only made her roll her eyes. "You have to be here early today, sweetheart. Last day and all." He sounded like he was hiding something but she was too tired to care.

She groaned, "Sure, I'll leave in a few. Bye." She didn't even give him time to reply because she instantly hung up the phone and sighed.

Her hair was damp when she'd gotten on her bike forty minutes after she'd ended the call, but it was dry from the wind by the time she got to the studio. She took off her helmet and brushed her hair with her fingers to then ruffle it. She checked on one of the mirrors of her bike and she shrugged, her lipstick still perfectly on and her hair just tamed enough.

She walked through the doors and made her way to the room they were always at. When she got there she didn't even look up before she dropped her bag and helmet on a chair. "Last day I have to see you idiots all day, thank fuck!" She joked but when she was met with an unusual silence, she turned around confused and that's when her jaw dropped.

Josh Homme was sitting right there in the middle of the room and everyone else was trying to hold in their laughs. Her cheeks tinted bright red, like her lipstick, and she wanted to disappear.

But the musician chuckled, making her feel slightly better. "Lucky." Josh started, continuing the joke, "This is my first day, have another week to go with them." He stood up with his hand out to greet Ella, "Lovely to meet you..."

She cleared her throat, blinking fast to try and come back down to reality but she was shocked. "Ella." She barely managed to say and Josh nodded, shaking her hand.

"Lovely to meet you Ella." He said again and her eyes went to all of the lads in search of answers.

When none of them gave her anything other than amused smiles, she looked back to the legendary musician in front of her and smiled brightly. "Very lovely to meet you, Mr. Homme."

The man waved her off, dropping her hand, "Oh please hun, just call me Josh. We're all friends here, no formalities."

She giggled, "Right, yes."

Ella tried to remain cool as she fell back into her usual routine, taking the camera out and capturing everything she could without disturbing their process. Matt sat next to her in the big settee twenty minutes later, watching Alex and Josh talking about 'Knee Socks' which was apparently the song Josh was gonna be in, and he elbowed her to tease her.

"Big fan of Queens of the Stone Age then?" The drummer whispered.

She turned to face him with an expression that screamed it was obvious, "Who isn't?"

Matt nodded, "Well, I did tell you to come early."

She scoffed, "Yes but you didn't mention Josh fucking Homme coming here today, idiot!" She whispered aggressively and she was grateful for Alex having started to play the guitar so the chords were louder than her voice.

"Details, details." Matt replied like it was nothing and she rolled her eyes.

"I cannot believe I'm actually gonna miss seeing y'all every day again." She admitted, fake defeated to keep up her act.

He clicked his tongue, "Of course you will, you love us."

"As I always say, unfortunately." She added in the same way, with a tight lip smile.

He opened his mouth to reply but Alex called him over and he could only get up quickly on his feet to see what they were gonna do then.

She had grown mesmerized by the creative process they had as they saw them work with Josh. James got there an hour later and it felt surreal, she truly felt like she was seeing actual magic happen and it hit her when she heard the brand new bridge for the song. It sounded heavenly and bold at the same time.

She knew when the album would come out, she'd have a different perspective on it for the sole reason that she was witnessing all those turning points in the making of it. And she was sure that just from the fact that she was experiencing all of it first hand, it would become her favorite album of theirs.

When they had all gotten hungry at around ten in the morning, Ella had ordered something for everyone and when the food had arrived, they all gathered around the wooden dinner table in the kitchen to chat shit and eat before resuming their work.

Josh was so easy to be around and Ella loved that one of the people she'd always admired as a musician was also a lovely person in real life. He had thanked her for the food and given her a side hug before they all cleaned up and went back to the recording room.

Ella made sure to record as much as she could but when the battery died and she had to wait for it to charge, she put her earphones on and started listening to some music.

Matt and Jamie sat chatting in a corner of a room while Alex, Nick and Josh hovered over Alex's journal to work through some lyrics. Ten minutes passed as she sorted through her emails when Alex sat beside her and she barely noticed.

He poked at her arm to not scare her again and she turned slowly to him, "Hey," she greeted timidly.

"Was Josh Homme a nice surprise?" He asked like her reaction hadn't been enough of an answer.

Her eyebrows rose on her face as she nodded enthusiastically, "Of course, yes. I still can't believe he's just–" she paused to find the perfect word but she failed so she just subtly pointed at him and finished by saying, "There."

Alex chuckled, "What are you listening to?" He had seen her bopping her head as she typed and he was curious to know.

"Black Sabbath." She showed him her phone screen, "War Pigs. Stunning guitar riff." She added, like it was one of those texts she used to send him of the songs she was obsessing over whoever week or day and which detail was her favorite of it.

He'd heard it before, of course, so he nodded but she took off one of her earphones so he could put it in and listen with her. Once the bud was in his ear, she played the song back from the beginning and he found himself trying to think of the chords in his head.

A song like it was one that he'd love to have on this album, it was the vibe he was going for when he pictured what the record would sound like in his head.

When the song finished he took off the earbud and handed it back to her. "Brilliant guitar riff. I wanna try and play it."

She thought he meant to play it maybe later but no, he got up immediately and grabbed his Gretsch duo jet, placed a pick between his teeth as he pulled the guitar strap over his shoulders and started playing with the chords until he started getting closer and closer to it.

Josh was quick to recognize the song, "War Pigs, classic."

Alex nodded as he stopped and then started it back up again. "I wanna use it in this record, I think."

"Domino won't hate you for having to get the licenses for it?" Asked the American singer, amused.

"Nah, I'll get it somehow even if they don't want to." Alex replied very confidently.

"Atta boy." Celebrated Josh, "You'll have to give it an Arctic Monkeys twist though, make it fresh." He advised, not only so that the song would be good but for the sake of the credits of the song he was trying to make.

Alex called to his bandmates then, "Oi, Nick, Jump in this one with me. Jamie, let's play it together first and then we can start changing the chords each at a time."

A few hours later, they had a wonderful take on the War Pigs guitar riff and the band seemed to be in love with it. They recorded it and labeled it the first demo, Ella had managed to catch that recording process and she was beaming as she saw it happen.

She'd felt like she had contributed there, it made her heart swell in a strange new way. She was about to scold herself for feeling so proud about it when it was so insignificant, when Alex went up to her and gave her a brief hug.

"Thanks for that Ellie. Good thing we have you here at the studio with us, isn't it?" His hand dropped after squeezing her right arm, her left side pressed against him.

She smiled brightly then, shrugging it off because she had only played him a song he already knew, it wasn't a massive contribution. "It literally was nothing Alex."

Alex clicked his tongue, "Yeah, don't really think so." disagreeing with her, making her smile bigger.

Right there and then, it felt like it was all falling back into place at least for a few seconds and they could both take a breath of fresh air.

"Would it help you feel better if I just said you're welcome?" Her smile could be heard in her voice and it made him unbelievably happy.

He nodded, "Definitely."

"You're welcome, Al." She replied easily and he beamed at her, it was the first time she called him Al in a long while, it made his stomach flip.

"Right," The singer started, still grinning. "It's your last day with us here until next year so just leave the camera, enjoy it."

Her brows furrowed, "But the documentary—"

He waved it off, "It would be a maximum of forty five minutes, Ellie and we still have January through June to record so don't worry. There'd be plenty of footage in the future."

She hummed, "Okay boss, whatever you say." She joked and he chuckled.

The day ended far quicker than she expected it and soon enough she was saying goodbye to the band, James and Josh. They all watched her drive away on her bike as the sun set in the horizon, the ends of her long black hair waving in the air.

In the third and last week that the band had spent in the studio, which Ella hadn't been there to record, the 'War Pigs' inspired song had been born and fully developed.

It only made sense that if the song had seen its creation because of Ella, it had to be the one to home all those lines Alex had written about her.

Alex sang into the microphone as the red light on top of the booth indicated it was recording. His eyes closed as he pictured her and himself walking around LA, Las Vegas and San Diego—all the pictures and the conversations, the drinks and the fleeting touches shared.

Arabella's got some interstellar-gator skin boots

And a Helter Skelter 'round her little finger

And I ride it endlessly

She's got a Barbarella silver swimsuit

And when she needs to shelter from reality

She takes a dip in my daydreams

My days end best when the sunset gets itself behind

That little lady sitting on the passenger side

It's much less picturesque without her catching the light

The horizon tries but it's just not as kind on the eyes

As Arabella, oh

As Arabella

Just might've tapped into your mind and soul

You can't be sure

Arabella's got a '70s head

But she's a modern lover

It's an exploration, she's made of outer space

And her lips are like the galaxy's edge

And her kiss the colour of a constellation

Falling into place

My days end best when the sunset gets itself behind

That little lady sitting on the passenger side

It's much less picturesque without her catching the light

The horizon tries but it's just not as kind on the eyes

As Arabella, oh

As Arabella

Just might've tapped into your mind and soul

You can't be sure

That's magic, in a cheetah print coat

Just a slip, underneath it, I hope

Asking if, I can have one of those

Organic, cigarettes that she smokes

Wraps her lips, 'round a Mexican Coke

Makes you wish, that you were the bottle

Takes a sip of your soul, and it sounds like...

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

The band's stay at the golden state had reached its end. The three weeks they had planned on staying were up but before it was time for them to leave Ella and Breana had planned a little farewell dinner. Breana would be staying in LA this time, so when she told Ella to help her organize it for the lads before they left, she just couldn't say no to her best friend.

It didn't take much organization, just a phone call to the restaurant to make a reservation and a text in the group chat to make sure the band knew where to be on Sunday the 9th at seven in the evening.

Ella was there ten minutes before the clock announced it was seven, she stood by the mural to the left side of the restaurant's door smoking a cigarette. She had just lit it, and absentmindedly took a drag out of it seeing as Julian took a few steps to stand in front of her and take the stick from her fingers.

The filter was stained with the red of her lipstick and it made her boyfriend groan, she laughed as she let the smoke out upwards, taking a peek at the moon. Julian left a trail of kisses up her throat all the way up to her chin, his lips hovered over hers but he left her breathless when he lifted the cigarette to take a drag of it and then place it back on her lips.

"Tease," she muttered with the burning stick between her lips.

The scruff of a car's brakes made them turn around, a yellow cab stopped a few feet right beside them. They were about to get back to what they were doing when one of the back doors opened and out came none other than Alex Turner.

He looked amazing under the dim street lights, the cream button up he was wearing contrasted perfectly with his black trousers and blazer. The small heels of his chelsea boots hit the pavement and composed the perfect background noise to his entrance.

Alex cleared his throat, hoping his frown wasn't as hard as it had been a minute earlier when he had seen from afar the show Ella and Julian were putting for everyone walking around the block.

Julian stepped aside to let Ella greet Alex first. "Hello Ella," he hugged her briefly but tight, she reciprocated one handed as she kept the hand she was holding her cigarette with away from him. Alex shook Julian's hand, firmly. "Nice to see you again, Julian."

Julian nodded, "Nice to see you too, Alex. How was your time in LA? Everything sweet, everything nice?"

Alex gave him a forced side smile, Ella turned to rest against the mural again and continued smoking—she tried to relax but she was internally panicking, begging to any high power that the rest of their friends showed up soon so the three wouldn't have to wait too long alone.

"Everything was great, already can't wait to be back to keep recording." From his voice she could tell he was distracted, and Ella kept her eyes closed but she felt him staring.

But why wouldn't he? She looked dashing dressed in all black. A little black slip dress on with high heeled stilettos, a leather jacket on and a small prada purse hanging off her shoulder. The dress had a slit, showing off her 'Divine Feminine' tattoo perfectly.

He was too caught up to even notice Julian had caught him staring.

"She's stunning, isn't she?" Her boyfriend had asked proudly, and Alex had gone cold.

He tried to play it cool though, nodding as he took his cigarettes out and picked one to light up. "She's always been."

If Julian had gotten jealous from that, he didn't show it as he nonchalantly then proceeded to walk towards Ella. He dove his hand into Ella's jacket pockets and fished a cigarette for himself, placing it between his teeth and staring at his girlfriend silently asking her to light him up.

She did, her movements graceful and experienced and Alex caught the small 'thank you' Julian gave her before he started smoking.

The American man had waved him over, "C'mere man, we're not gonna bite."

Alex let out a bland chuckle that made a puff of smoke leave his mouth. His steps were slow as he moved closer to them, and he wished Arielle could've canceled that late night shoot so she'd be there with him. He didn't want to be a third wheel, much less to Ella and her fucking boyfriend.

It had been a painful eight minutes he had to endure of small talk that ended with Ella narrating how it had been to spend a whole day with Josh Homme and Julian watching her talk mesmerized. Their fingers were interlocked and Alex had had to watch Julian play with Ella's fingers as he listened to her.

Just as Alex was contemplating fishing his pockets for a third smoke, ruckus broke out behind him and he recognized it instantly. He could breathe now that Breana and Matt had arrived, and when Alex fully turned, he saw Jamie and Nick exiting the cab as well.

Everyone greeted each other and once that was done, Ella walked ahead of the group into Craig's. She'd chosen the place not only because it was gorgeous and the food was delicious but because loads of famous people tended to go there so they truly wouldn't be bothered if anyone recognized them.

It wasn't long before they were seated and, to Ella's incredible fortune, she ended up seated in the middle of Alex and Julian.

Before they ordered any food, they were asked for their drinks to which they'd all agreed on a nice bottle of cabernet. Their waiter had uncorked the bottle effortlessly and served everyone a perfect amount to start with.

Chatter rolled easily as they drank more wine, their orders then taken and underway in the fancy kitchen of the place.

Their flight was taking off at noon, meaning they had to be at LAX at around nine in the morning. The band was promising to be the most sober ones just to make their next morning easy for themselves.

When their plates got to their table, they all dove in. The variety of dishes was astounding and it impressed them even more how regardless of how different each one was, they all were remarkably delicious.

Alex watched through the corner of his eye as Julian gathered a forkful of his salmon dish to feed Ella.

"Babe, you gotta try this." He'd said after a blissful hum he let out when he got the first bite of it. His hand a few inches under the fork to avoid spilling anything.

Ella was quick to open her mouth to accept the food and once it reached her tongue, she let her red lips wrap around the fork. Julian pulled back the piece of silverware as he stared attentively at her reaction and when her eyes closed in delight at the taste, he smiled bright.

She waited until she was finished with her bite to speak, "That's really fucking good."

Alex wanted to roll his eyes, how was it that even surrounded by other four people he still felt like a third wheel. His fork screeched as he gathered his rigatoni alla vodka.

Conversations continued as everyone slowly worked through their food, not really minding it going cold because they were all just basking in each other's presence.

"Helders, you're giving me my best friend back, finally. Thank you very much." Ella teased as she remembered that Breana was planning on staying in LA the whole time they'd be gone.

The drummer sighed, squeezing his girlfriend's hand under the table. "Yeah, not really my choice to be honest. She'd always be by my side if it was for me."

"Awh look at you, maybe you are romantic after all." The PA cooed, a little pout on her face at the sight of them.

Matt let out a small giggle, "Of course I am, idiot."

"Well it's hard to picture with the stories I hear." Ella trailed off, making Jamie and Nick look at her curiously.

Matt smirked, "Like what you're told?"

"Pretty vanilla to me, honestly." She played, making Matt laugh a little too loud.

"Okay, kinky bastard." The teasing made Ella sit straighter as she flushed, Julian smiled proudly next to her. Alex just wanted to disappear, he would beg to hear anything else but what she got up to with Julian in the bedroom.

To Alex's relief, she wasn't in the mood to share any stories. "Guess your hand is gonna have to do for the next few months." The faux pity in her voice was so heavy it had Matt glaring at her.

"It will, and those scans you're meant to send me." He made sure to remind her as she'd promised him and he had really liked those previews she'd shown him on her phone.

Nick sighed, exasperated at the turn the conversation had taken. He really didn't want to think about his mate wanking to pictures of his girlfriend while he was eating the best scallops he'd ever had. "Can yous fucking stop? I'm trying to eat."

Ella laughed, "So very sorry, Nick."

The bassist huffed in exaggerated annoyance, "You better be."

Once everyone finished their food, the waiter had been fast to pick the plates up and ask if they fancied anything else. Soon enough, a new bottle of wine was on its way and, just as fast as it had arrived, they were finishing it.

They each had been drinking more red then than at the start of the night so the bottle didn't last more than twenty minutes.

Ella hummed then, seeing as most of their glasses were empty—Alex being the only one to have a sip of it left. "Anyone fancy a bottle of champers?" Her question was thrown in the air and they all slowly agreed.

She turned to Julian, mumbling something that only Alex got to properly hear. "Don't have any rings on me though..."

Alex's right hand reached over for his wine glass and just as his fingers rounded it, he heard Julian say something to him.

"That ring's sick man, mind if I have a look at it?"

Alex was confused but he nodded nonetheless, putting his glass back on the table to take the ring off and hand it to the videographer. He only took a look at it for a quick two seconds before he put it on his own pinky finger.

"Looks great doesn't it?" He lifted his hand up to show Ella and she nodded. Alex frowned, what the fuck is he doing putting my ring on?

Julian made him snap back to reality when he took it off and mumbled a quick, "Would look better on you though." And before Alex could even have time to process that, he got up and walked around his chair to kneel in front of Ella.

The singer's eyes almost popped out of his head and Breana's gasp was loud enough to grab the attention of not only their whole table but the ones around them. Suddenly, the restaurant started to quiet down as everyone's attention turned to the dirty blonde down on one knee in front of his girlfriend.

"Ella, honey, you are by far the sweetest most wonderful thing that has happened to me." His voice was so sweet as it reached her ears and she knew it was only the start but she was already swooning. "I wish time had been kinder to me and let me meet you before but the fact that you even are in my life now is enough to feel like life didn't cheat me. You take my breath away with everything you do, everything you say and everything you are. My heart bursts at its seams just by thinking of you and every time I get to see you." Her heart definitely felt like it was failing her from how much she loved the man kneeling in front of her.

"You are my perfect accomplice, I cannot imagine doing life with anybody else. Every night, I wish upon every star I'm able to see in this polluted city that I'll be able to be yours forever. And I can only hope I'm lucky enough to have you feel the same, to know that you want me to be yours until the end of times." A small sob escaped her, tears pooling in her eyes threatening to spill at any moment. "And I think about asking you to marry me every night when we go to sleep and I see that sweet little pout next to me, the way you cling to me is a feeling I don't ever wanna lose. I don't ever wanna lose you." The tears were falling, wetting her lips which were stuck in a beaming smile. "I want to witness you and what you become, worship every single bit of you and all you do. In this life and the next, if you'll have me. Ella, my love, would you marry me?" He finally asked and the giggles escaped her as more tears ran down her cheeks.

"Yes!" She exclaimed breathlessly, "Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes." She chanted as she cupped his face. Julian kissed the inside of her palm and then grabbed her left hand to put the ring on. It fit perfectly. Once it was on, they sealed the moment with a long kiss, Ella holding Julian's face with both her hands like she was afraid he'd disappear if she didn't have her hold on him.

Alex was so fucking confused, he felt like he was gonna puke everything he'd had that night. He felt himself sweating cold, and he was sure he was as pale as a white sheet of paper. Everyone around them was hollering, Nick and Jamie wolf whistling as Breana cried while she clapped and Matt had the brightest smile.

Their table neighbors cooed and clapped as Julian rose to sit back down, his lips red from Ella's lipstick. Alex looked around in shock but the only one who caught him was Matt, his smile faltered slightly at the sight of his friend but then he chuckled. The whole thing had fucked him over.

Soon their waiter came back, but with a bucket filled with ice homing a massive bottle of Champagne. Champagne flutes being carried by a waitress right behind him.

The young man smiled at the couple who'd just stolen the show and set the bottle in the middle of the table. "We're beyond happy to have witnessed this new step in your beautiful relationship so we wanted to give you this to celebrate." The lady behind him set the seven tall glasses on the table before they both proceeded to serve the beverage. "The chef wanted to congratulate you as well with some lovely dessert which I'll be bringing out in just a moment."

Ella cooed, her hand on her chest. "Thank you so much! You are all so sweet."

The pair nodded with a smile before they left and once everyone in the restaurant settled back again, Ella and Julian shared another quick kiss. She wiped on his bottom lip when she broke the kiss, leaning back slightly with the brightest smile on her face.

Alex was still malfunctioning so Matt took it upon himself to get an explanation out of the couple.

"So, what was that?" His question seemed amused, not really believing in the veracity of the proposal as they had literally used Alex's 'death ramps' ring. That detail only made him want to laugh harder.

Ella shrugged, whispering her answer. "Well y'all did say you wanted some champagne so mission accomplished."

Jamie cackled, "You cheeky bitch."

"That's me." Ella replied, winking at him. But then she sighed, absolutely elated. "We have done this many times before, must've gotten engaged at least half a dozen times in loads of places around the country but, oh my god, he went off with this one." She turned to Julian and scrunched up her nose to him. "I fucking adore you."

Alex's confusion then turned into anger. What the fuck? All he could think was how easy it was for them to make up such a deceiving situation but the thing that had him seething was the fact that they had just decided to do that with his ring. What the fuck are they on about? He kept asking himself over and over.

Julian stole a few pecks from her, tinting his lips redder than they already were. "Adore you even more."

Alex was about to lose it, he could only think about going for a smoke or two but he'd have to wait it out a little longer or he'd be way too obvious.

The champagne was heavenly, the bubbles running down their throats perfectly. They resumed their conversation like nothing had happened but then some nosey people started coming over to the table as they made their ways to leave the restaurant. Most of them were sweet, telling them 'congratulations' before they told them some cringe joke about the honeymoon and they'd leave with a wink; but the young couple that had just approached their table had asked to see the ring.

Ella had tried not to laugh, covering it up with a cough. She showed off her left hand, the 'death ramps' ring snuggled around her slender finger and matching perfectly with her red nails.

The unknown girl had frowned, confused at the ring choice and Ella giggled. "That's his most special ring. A family thing really, so it's very special he's proposed with it."

The strangers only nodded with a forced smile that had everyone at the table biting their tongues not to laugh—everyone except for Alex, who was growing angrier, because apparently it was Julian's family ring now.

He had to hold back a scoff, choosing to just down the champagne he had left and excuse himself to go to the bathroom.

No one really noticed the haste in which he left the table except for Matt, who followed his path with an attentive gaze. Everyone else at the table was too busy listening to the bullshit details of Ella's very much fake upcoming wedding.

"Bright pink flowers and a purple dress? You are insane." Nick shook his head at the deranged shit she was saying.

"Wait until you hear about our rainbow triple layer wedding cake." Ella added and the thought of it made everyone laugh harder. She only hoped no one was eavesdropping and taking what she was saying seriously because then they'd think she was insane.

Alex threw cold water on his face to get him to calm down. It was fake, they're not engaged, they did not get engaged with your ring. You have a stunning girlfriend that you love very much, you told her you loved her only two days ago. Ella is happy with someone else, you're just friends—that's all you'll ever be. He kept telling himself all that like he was a religious man reciting his favorite holy book verses.

Once Alex got back to the table, he found everyone taking bites of a big apple crumble with vanilla ice cream on top.

Ella waved him over excitedly, "Al, come here! You need to try this."

His ring on her finger flashed under the lights in the restaurant. How he wished he'd been the one to give it to her.

He sat down on his seat on her right side, and instantly was surprised by Ella feeding him a spoonful of dessert. He didn't know what he was expecting but she didn't take the spoon away for him, making Alex have to do the rest for himself. He set the utensil on top of his cloth napkin that was still on the table where he'd left it before running off.

He nodded, relishing in the sweetness of the dish. His brain took him back to the day they shared funnel cakes at Belmont Park and he smiled fondly. He remembered the excited smile on her face as she waited for his reaction to the food and he couldn't help but compare it to how she was looking at him at the moment.

"S'really good." Alex agreed and she nodded back.

"Right?!" She turned back to grab another bite with her own spoon, "You're very welcome guys, I will be expecting an award later."

Jamie smirked then, taking the opportunity to tease Ella. "We'll leave it to Julian to give you your prize, Ellie."

Her breath hitched making her cough and Julian laughed beside her, he brought a hand to her back to rub it soothingly whilst she kept coughing with a hand over her mouth. Alex wanted to die right there, why were his friends like that?

"Oh she will. Whatever she wants tonight, she gets it." Julian agreed, "Shall we try that leather thing you ordered the other day?" He suggested, making Ella's eyes widen. Next to her, Alex was staring at his lap with the same expression.

She pinched Julian's waist, "Fucks sake, shut up!" She shouted in a whisper, the last thing she needed was the lads finding out how she was in bed when she knew they'd just tease her endlessly about it.

Matt was quick to try and pry for more information, "Oh Julian, do tell us what that leather thing is."

Alex wanted to interfere before anything else was said, Please do not tell us, Julian.

He opened his mouth to start explaining but Ella's hand flew over his mouth to avoid anyone getting an explanation.

"Yeah, you're not getting anything from him," she started with a threatening voice, her eyes swimming around the table and then she turned to her boyfriend to finish her ultimatum, "If he wants to use it tonight."

Julian nodded obediently but licked the palm of her hand that was still covering his mouth just to get on her nerves. Ella scoffed and then used her napkin to clean her hand, Alex stole a glance at her and she looked so happy regardless of the teasing that it made him want to leave already.

Breana smirked at her best friend who was sitting right in front of her, "You're really hot Ellie, has anyone told you that?" Ella smirked back at her, if there was anyone who was her loyal cheerleader, it was Bre.

"Only you all the time, my love." She blew the model a kiss which she reciprocated.

Matt hugged Breana by the waist, bringing her to his side possessively and pointed a finger at Julian. "Oi, get your girlfriend to stop flirting with mine."

Everyone started laughing, the giggles filling the air around their table. Ella winked at Breana and then turned to Matt to bother him a bit more.

"You just know I could steal her from you easily."

Matt scoffed but when Breana agreed with a "She could." He rolled his eyes.

It was his turn to mortify Ella, "Can we get another round of applause for the soon-to-be married?" The drummer asked loudly to the rest of the restaurant and when the place erupted in claps and cheers, Ella hid in Julian's neck.

Her and Julian had to look around mouthing 'thank you's to the people around them. Minutes passed and when finally no one had their eyes on them, she glared at Matt. "You're a fucking menace, let's just get the check already."

Ten minutes later, they had paid and were outside waiting for their taxis. The head chef had gone out to personally congratulate Julian and Ella and she had started to feel bad for deceiving everyone at the restaurant like that. The champagne and dessert had been worth it though, but the guilt set in when before they left, one of the waitresses gave her a lovely bouquet of roses.

Once outside, Ella had felt like she could breathe again. She took one rose out of the arrangement she was holding in her right hand and gave it to Breana. She thanked her with a loud kiss on her cheek which made Matt get in the middle of them to keep Ella away from her, as he'd said.

The lads were all leaving in the same cab back to the hotel, meaning Bre would share the taxi with Julian and Ella.

"Are you staying over?" Julian asked his girlfriend's best friend, knowing he was gonna stay at Ella's.

Breana let out a sarcastic laugh, ""Yeah, absolutely not. I'd like to get a good night's sleep, thank you very much."

Ella rolled her eyes, "We're not that loud."

Bre disagreed instantly, "Yes you are. Don't even try to fight me on this one unless you want me to record a voice note of it next time as proof."

Alex was grateful he'd decided to light up a cigarette the second they stepped outside, he was lost in the nicotine filling his system and texting Arielle to avoid listening further into the conversation his friends were having.

He could hear the commotion behind him after Ella had finally whispered to Breana in her ear what it was that she'd ordered. Alex ignored the gasp the model let out, and how loud Matt had gotten as he was trying to find out too, to read whatever Arielle was saying about the video she was shooting.

Soon enough the cab that was taking the guys arrived and they all started hugging around. Bre wouldn't let go of Matt as Ella walked around hugging everyone goodbye. The PA was feeling weirdly nostalgic even if she knew they'd be back in LA in no time.

Jamie and Nick both squished her in a hug, she was gonna miss them so much. "Gonna wish on every star the months go by fast, I'm gonna miss you so much." They reciprocated her words, promising they'd be back as soon as the holidays were over.

Alex dropped his cigarette on the floor and stepped on it before opening his arms to her. They swayed with their holds tight on each other. "Gonna miss you." He said, kissing the top of her head.

"Me too." Ella replied and let go of him. She took his ring off her finger and gave it back to him, "Sorry for stealing it for so long, hope you enjoyed the champagne at least."

He chuckled, putting the ring back on his little finger. "I did, thanks Ellie." What he hadn't enjoyed was the way his heart dropped at the proposal, and the way his brain seemed to hold onto Julian's every word despite every try at forcing himself to think about anything else.

He was going to go insane.

Smiling brightly, "You're welcome," she said lastly before she left to walk towards Matt and Breana. When she got to them, she poked Bre on the ribs. "As much as I hate him, I wanna say goodbye." She joked.

The model left her boyfriend with a loud peck on his lips and proceeded to hug everyone else goodbye, following after Julian who was now saying bye to Nick with a typical bro hug.

Ella hugged Matt, "Don't take too long to come back yeah? She's gonna be insufferable if you're not back the second it turns 2013."

He laughed in her ear, giving her a squeeze before they both let go of each other. "I will, I promise."

They'd had to basically push Matt into the cab after that, because he could not stop kissing Breana goodbye. They could see the exasperated look on the driver's face but Alex promised him they'd give him a big tip for the inconvenience.

Julian, Ella and Breana waved them goodbye as the car left and then they sighed when it went out of their view.

Ella snaked her arm around Bre's waist and she started walking, "Let's go, my love."

Julian followed after them, chuckling. "I love how the second I'm alone with you two, I end up being the third wheel."

Bre giggled, "Get used to it Jules, she was mine first."

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

Alex thought being back in the UK would be the cure for it all. Being away from LA, surrounded by his family and friends and walking through the familiar streets around the city of London would whisk away the thought of Ella.

How wrong had he been.

It had been almost two months since they'd left Los Angeles, the month of November just starting, the weather getting colder and colder on the way to the holiday season. But not cold enough for him to endure the actual madness the Halloween week had caused him.

He'd gone to a Halloween party he'd been invited to with his friends and his girlfriend but nothing interesting had happened there, everything that had gone wrong was purely Ella's fault.

Despite Halloween being on a Thursday, Ella had partied from Wednesday to Friday and Alex only knew because she'd posted pictures to her Instagram that had left him gasping for air.

On Wednesday she had posted multiple pictures of a photoshoot she seemed to have done with Breana. They were both dressed as witches only they only had lacey lingerie bodysuits under a black velvet cloak that barely covered them. They had pointy witch hats on their heads in some pictures and their fingers were halfway covered in some kind of black ink that tied it all together.

The pictures looked stunning, there was no denying Ella's amazing photography skills and creativity when it came to setting a perfect shoot, but the one that had fucked with him the most was one where Ella seemed to have Bre's hand around her neck.

In the picture Ella was laying on the grass, surrounded by black candles lit alive and pages that displayed weird imagery. She was staring at the camera whilst Breana's arm seemed to rest between her boobs so her hand came to wrap around Ella's neck—her pointer finger was lifted and pressing on Ella's bottom lip. The red lighting setting the mood even more.

When Alex saw that as he unlocked his phone and scrolled through instagram, he choked on his coffee. The liquid splattered all over the kitchen counter as he struggled to set the mug down before finding a napkin to clean everything up.

It was like something ignited inside of him, something that he'd tried so hard not to let catch a single spark after coming back from California.

He'd spent a good fifteen minutes staring at the pictures, his eyes stuck on Ella, making him wonder why she wasn't in front of the camera more often. She was meant to be the focus of the frames. He could prove it with that singular picture.

His mind obsessed over how much he wanted to take Breana's place in the pictures, especially that one. He wanted to have her underneath him like that, at his mercy with his hand around her throat—completely surrendered to him.

It was Nick's knock on his door that startled him back to reality, he quickly dropped his empty mug in the sink and locked his phone before opening the door and letting the bassist in. He told him he'd go for a quick piss before they left.

When he got to the bathroom he could only think of the pictures, he had to splash his face multiple times to get the thoughts out of his head. Get a fucking grip mate! He told himself as he tapped his cheeks repeatedly. He sighed, he was going to go mad.

Later that day, when he was too many tequila shots in after a football game they'd been watching had finished in a tense round of penalties, Alex found himself unconsciously scrolling through Instagram and looking for Ella's page.

He found a new picture posted: Breana and Ella dressed in the witch costumes and with cocktails in hand. Bre was helping Ella light up her cigarette with her own that was sticking out from between her teeth.

Alex groaned as he scrolled back down to find the picture he couldn't stop thinking about, only the alcohol loosening his senses up enough to feel his dick twitch in his pants the second he laid his eyes on it.

Fucking hell...

The next night, he remembered being in the kitchen making some popcorn for him and Arielle to snack on while watching movies when he stumbled across yet another picture of her halloween celebrations.

It was a mirror picture this time, taken by Breana who seemed to be dressed as the opposite to her best friend—a regular angel, dressed in all white. In comparison, Ella was wearing nothing but a black corset and a garter belt underneath holding up her sheer thigh high stockings, on her back were a pair of black angel wings that completed her costume. Her long black hair fell in waves over her shoulders but not hiding the swell of her breasts that were on full show thanks to the tightness of her corset.

He cursed under his breath feeling incredibly flustered at the sight, the insistent beeping of the microwave was disrupting his efforts to gather himself. He poured the popcorn in a bowl and hastily made his way back to his room. The movie wasn't even fifteen minutes in when he had pounced on his girlfriend in search of some relief, and he was glad to feel her reciprocation. He'd sighed when he had finished, relishing in the dissipation of his pent up frustration.

That only lasted for a day because he was once again drowning in filthy thoughts about Ella. He was tipsy, dressed as a bloody washing machine to match his girlfriend's costume as Florence—it had been his idea to make the pun work as a costume, Florence and the (washing) Machine—, when he'd gone out for a cigarette and scrolled through social media without even being focused on it. He'd just wanted to distract himself from the noise of the party he was in but the picture Ella had posted only ten minutes before shook his ground.

He hated it because Julian was in it dressed as Hugh Hefner, holding Ella's waist tightly and smiling brightly, yet he fucking loved it because she looked stunning. Playboy bunny, of course she had to dress up as one.

Her legs on full show, only covered by sheer black stockings, the bodice she was wearing hugged her curves perfectly, cuffs on her wrist, a tuxedo collar with a bow tie around her neck, and the bunny ears perched on top of her head. But what made him gasp for air was the fluffy tail on her ass, she just looked so fucking irresistible he almost ran to the bathroom to alleviate himself.

He'd left the party relatively early with Arielle, after she just couldn't wait any longer to get home from all the things he was whispering in her ear. He'd been eager to start it all the second they walked through the front door of his flat, hands working as fast as they could because he could feel the thought of Ella chasing him as he got off with Arielle.

It was like she was haunting his every thought.

Not even after their activities had he been able to catch sleep. Arielle was spent, softly snoring beside him but he just couldn't rest. He got up and hid in the bathroom, his phone clutched in his hand to succumb to temptation, to the thought of her.

He had taken a screenshot of the picture, cropping Julian fast before he could do anything else. He'd tried his hardest to stay as quiet as possible as his fist pumped his hard cock, shaky breaths leaving him with each stroke to the sight of Ella in that damn costume.

He thought how he'd not be able to wait much to fuck her in it, he was sure that if he was with her that night he'd have her bent over the kitchen counter the second they got home. His hand print would certainly be marked on her ass by the end of the night and her neck littered with love bites because there was nothing he wanted to do more than to mark that pretty neck up as he pounded into her from behind.

The thought of his hips rocking against hers was more than enough to tip him over the end, imagining he was letting his cum drip all over her ass and her lower back. What a sight that would be.

He felt calmer after that, but as he cleaned up he started to grow restless. What the fuck are you doing? He asked himself, looking at his reflection in the mirror, he was disappointed in himself for having just wanked to a picture of Ella for the second time, but mostly because the satisfaction was stronger than his disappointment. He made sure to delete the screenshot from his phone before he exited the bathroom, the last thing he needed was his girlfriend finding out he was cumming to the thought of somebody else.

He thought then, when Halloween week was over and November claimed its very first week, it would be back to normal for him, as normal as it could be. She had been posting her usual pictures: shots of different parts of the city of Los Angeles, candids of strangers around her, pictures from her usual photoshoots which mostly caught Breana front and center of the camera. His innocent scrolls through Instagram were just that, innocent and appreciating of her talent, but a fateful afternoon in the very middle of the month had him cursing into the air.

She looked drenched, head to toe, but only wearing a two-piece lingerie set that made his eyes roll back into his head. He groaned as he started getting hard in his sweatpants. She had suspenders that clasped on the top of her knickers and those thigh high stockings that looked marvelous on her. Her legs looked longer with the stilettos she had on and the oversized blazer that was hanging off her shoulders somehow made her look hotter. She had him in shambles.

'He says I'm his muse' she'd captioned it and Alex wished he could tell her she was his too. Despite wanting to punch Julian for having Ella, he mentally thanked him for such a stunning picture of her.

That had been the third time he'd made a mess in the bathroom to the thought of her, this time in the shower just like the first time and letting himself make as much noise as he wanted to since he was home alone. He was afraid of letting himself moan Ella's name, wary of the things that would unravel but when it fell from his lips as he came, he'd never felt something sound more right in his life.

He should've really listened to himself back then and stopped himself from moaning her name because by the last month of the year, he'd lost count of how many times he'd come undone while chanting her name. The walls echoing her name back to him every time he needed relief, which was almost every time she posted.

To a picture of her naked silhouette on the beach against the golden light casted by the dying sun. A picture Julian had taken of her naked in bed, the sheets barely covering her body. A picture Breana had taken of her sucking her middle finger staring at the camera, her hollowed cheeks on perfect show. A picture just centered on her tits which were barely covered by the two glasses of vodka cranberry she had, one on each hand and over her nipples.

He had lost count of how many times he had screenshotted and deleted pictures from his phone to not get caught. He found himself looking through her instagram more times than not. It was bad, he was down bad.

It had been Matt who had caught onto him, it only had taken him a few times to catch up onto his pattern.

The first time had been when they had all been over at Alex's to watch an American football match they had been anticipating, that's why it had been so weird to Matt when Alex stood up and left in the middle of a play that was gonna end up in a definite touchdown for the team they were rooting for.

Alex had gotten a notification on his phone, opened Instagram only to find a picture that had made him choke on the sip of beer he'd taken. He tried to put his phone down and watch the game but his eyes were almost glued to the picture Ella had just posted.

It was her in front of the camera with her boyfriend behind her, holding her bare tits for her. His hands covered her breasts from the camera as she glared at it with a threatening stare. Her red lips were enticing with a lit up cigarette hanging from them. 'Bras are overrated'. He was embarrassed of how fast he'd liked the picture, considering unliking it to maintain his reputation intact but it was too late, Ella probably had already gotten the notification about it.

He was quick to just up and leave, hearing the commentator's talk in the background about how that play was decisive for the future of the team in the season on the road to the Superbowl. He couldn't be arsed about the fucking game anymore, not when his jeans grew painfully constricting by the second, the longer that he stared at the picture.

He made sure to close both his bedroom door and his ensuite door, groaning in pleasure as his fingers closed around his cock. He thought about himself holding her that way, the way he would pinch her nipples, play with them, twist them around, knead her tits and mark them up until she was cuming underneath him. His thoughts only focused on how much he'd love to make her lose herself entirely just by him playing with her breasts.

His movements were fast, trying to picture her moaning—just like he always did. 'What a privilege must it be to hear those pretty sounds' that was a thought that permanently stayed in his head and that time it wasn't the exception. He'd want to explore every inch of her skin, see which spot in her neck would have her squirming around and whining for him not to stop.

He could almost hear her begging him to suck harder, to not stop.

"Fuck– Ella–" his words sounded strangled as he came.

Five minutes was the time he'd taken and the time it had taken the game to almost finish. There were only thirty seconds on the clock and it was the last quarter of the game. It was good that his team was winning by seven points or else he'd actually be disappointed to see them leave.

Matt frowned at him, "Where'd you go?"

"Had to use the toilet." The singer replied way too quickly and aggressively.

The drummer knew instantly he was lying, Nick and Jamie noticed too but they were too invested in the game to care. But Matt was nosey so he kept his gaze on his best mate as if that would give him the truth, but it didn't.

Alex ignored him completely, keeping his eyes on the television screen and not once reciprocating the stare. Matt hummed, intrigued. He was sure he'd find out what had happened eventually.

Matt's eyes went back to the end of the game and when it was over they celebrated their team's victory by four points. Alex offered to bring them all new bottles of beer and once he was gone, the drummer pulled out his phone to pass the time.

He had a few notifications piled up, the one about Ella's new picture having been posted only 7 minutes before was there below a few new texts he'd gotten from Breana. He was quick to answer to his girlfriend, not being able to connect the dots about Alex's behavior.

A few days later, when they were all at Nick's, Matt had caught Alex being weird again. Only this time he had a certain idea of what could be happening.

Kelly and Katie had been going on about the wedding planning and how they had found a lovely florist and now they needed to start looking for the bridesmaids dresses and Kelly's wedding dress. Matt had joked about how Nick would be getting a quick day to shop for his tux and then they'd put all of their focus on the stag party.

The sizzle of the wood burning on the fireplace was loud but not enough to overpower their laughter, Alex almost missed the buzzing in his pocket.

He had been talking to his girlfriend, as she was coming back to London to spend the holidays with him and his family. He was nervous but excited, mostly excited—to have her back and see if she could cure his fogged up brain which had been claimed by Ella in the past three months.

Not even their raunchy phone calls would take the multiple images of Ella he had in his head and he was starting to feel bad. He could only hope that being able to have Arielle back beside him would sweep the thoughts away.

She had been texting him her flight information, going on and on about how nervous she was to spend the holidays with Penny and David, to which he had been telling her it would be alright. His parents had always loved having his girlfriends over when it was holiday season, and they both really liked her. It would be alright.

He had expected another 'won't I be bothering you all?' or maybe a 'how many presents should I take?' when he pulled out his phone from his pocket but he'd gotten that notification, the one that was his doom and blessing at the same time.

'Ella Hayes just posted a picture'

He sighed, bringing the brightness down on his phone so no one around him could catch what he was seeing. It wasn't like they could, he was sitting in a chair in the corner of the living room, barely interacting with anyone other than the moments he'd join them all in laughter. They knew he was texting his girlfriend so they weren't asking about it, Matt had already teased the information out of him earlier.

Alex stood up and absentmindedly asked anyone if they wanted a refill, to which only Jamie and Matt asked for another bottle of beer.

He nodded before scurrying away to the hallway that would take him to the kitchen. When he was halfway through it, he opened the app and found himself at a loss of words at the sight.

He set his empty bottle on top of the kitchen island and looked up at the ceiling almost like asking someone up there for help. He rubbed his face with his left hand, knowing what was going to happen. There was not even time for him to double think it, or feel too embarrassed about it because with another look at what she had posted, he was gone down the rabbit hole she sent him to.

It was Ella's car—he could see the mirrorball with the cowboy hat hanging from the rearview mirror—and it had the door open. Ella was seated on the passenger seat, her long legs stretched so that her stiletto-clad feet were resting on the windowsill of the door.

All he could see was her legs, her long tan legs and he was gone. He couldn't not do it.

He didn't even hesitate to exit the kitchen and walk further down the hallway into the guest bathroom.

He cussed under his breath staring at the picture like it could come alive. He could see how the leather skirt she was wearing was barely covering her so the bottom of her ass was on show and pressed over the seat.

Feral. He felt like he was going feral.

He had thought about kissing up her legs, marking them up from her ankles all the way up to her inner thighs. If he thought hard enough, he could hear her panting as he got closer to her heat. He came so fast just thinking about the ways he'd edge her and how good she could sound begging him to help her like she needed to. She'd taste so sweet, he was sure and his mouth found itself dry at the thought of tasting her.

He'd had to bite his lip to not make noise, his insides hurt at the fact that he couldn't call out her name, but he'd rather not be caught. He didn't care if he had taken too long to make his friends wonder what he was doing, he could only think about how good that had felt.

He made sure to check himself so it wasn't obvious, the flush on his cheeks could be given to his drinking so he didn't think much about it.

The people in the living room finally heard the opening of the fridge and the clinking of the bottles as Alex made his way back to them.

"Took you long enough," joked Jamie as he was handed his bottle. "Cheers mate."

Matt was handed his and he couldn't help but interrogate his friend who had a pretty elated look on his face. "Where did you go?"

Alex panicked, shrugging his shoulders. "Erm... Arielle. I was talking to Arielle."

The singer's voice was trying to sound firm but he knew him like the back of his hand. So Matt just nodded, his brows still furrowed in confusion, "Arielle... Right." He knew that face, he had it himself every time after he'd call Breana late at night and she'd dirty talk him into orgasm. Alex had just gotten off. Dirty fucker, thought Matt.

A few minutes went by, when Matt's phone pinged. He unlocked it and cussed, "Jesus fucking Christ."

"What?" Nick asked with a chuckle.

Matt looked flustered and brought his beer bottle to his face for his cheeks to cool down. "Remind me to thank Ella tomorrow. Holy fuck."

Alex tensed, there was no way he was talking like that about Ella's picture surely.

His questions were answered when Kelly asked him further, "Why?"

The drummer stood up and handed her his phone, "She takes the best pictures of Bre, I swear."

Alex let go of the breath he had been holding, Fuck, that was close.

Kelly whistled lowly, "Lucky man, Helders. She's fucking fit."

Matt smiled proudly, "I know, I know."

The phone was passed around and Katie gasped, "When am I meeting Ella? I want my pictures taken like that, fucking hell."

When the phone reached Alex's hand, he nodded agreeing with everyone else. Bre was leaning back on a windowsill, her head thrown back so it wasn't captured on the frame; the room completely dark but the golden hour lighting bathing her body which was covered only by a white lingerie set. "You should go to LA with us next year, Ella takes the best pictures."

The rest of the lads agreed, and Jamie further suggested Katie joining them in LA as Alex handed Matt back his phone.

The singer's peace was interrupted when Matt, a few seconds later, coughed as he'd choked on the mouthful of beer he'd taken.

Everyone asked him if he was okay as he continued to cough, "Fucks sake." He cursed, trying to get oxygen back into his lungs. "I cannot believe it's the Ella we know that keeps posting these pictures."

Kelly had heard loads about Ella so she was intrigued to see, she asked to grab Matt's phone and he handed it to her easily. He looked at Alex, who caught his gaze but averted it quickly—Matt had clearly seen his like on the picture, a picture which had only been posted some minutes before when he was 'talking to Arielle'.

"That's hot," Kelly said quickly, making Nick laugh at her bluntness, "What? She is!" She then turned the phone to show Katie and Jamie, "Are you gonna tell me that's not hot?"

"Fuck yes, it is." Agreed Katie instantly.

Matt encouraged them to look at the rest of her pictures then, remembering she had posted some that had left him wondering if it was really the Ellie he knew. "You should look at some of her other pictures, they are insane considering how shy she used to always be."

And that's how Kelly and Katie had started scrolling through her pictures and marveling over them.

"This is Ella? The one that went to Vegas with yous and Bre?" Had asked Kelly, completely at loss for words.

She remembered how coy she had been when they talked on the phone during that trip, after the boys had found out about her and Nick's engagement.

Matt nodded with a smirk, "Yep, that's her."

Jamie quickly added, "She's gotten with this lad, and now she's just her filthy self in the open. Good for her actually, he's fit, nice lad."

"Oooo," wondered Katie, "Are there pictures of him?"

Matt cackled, "Yeah, he makes a few appearances on her page."

When they found one they gasped, "Fucking hell!" Katie grabbed Jamie's arm for him to see, he didn't have social media so she was sure he hadn't seen any of the pictures.

It was a picture of them on a bike by the beach, she was in a bikini and he was shirtless. They looked incredibly good together, like the protagonists of a movie. Jamie smiled at it, they looked so happy. He was so happy for Ella.

"They look good together, don't they?" the guitarist asked his girlfriend, who was almost drooling.

"They're both fucking fit! Are you joking?" Katie exclaimed.

Alex wanted to leave the room, he didn't want to start thinking about those two together once again. Not when he had just done that to her latest picture a few minutes before.

"Right, Al?" He only managed to hear from Matt.

He had gotten lost in the thought of Ella, again. "Sorry, what?"

"I said that they make a great couple." Matt wanted to push his buttons, just to see if he'd break.

Alex smiled, it was so forced that Katie and Kelly looked at Matt searching for answers about his distaste for them. The drummer only smirked harder and then turned back to stare at his friend, wanting to hear him say it.

"They are. Very good couple." The singer agreed, painfully.

And right then, Matt started narrating the fake proposal to Kelly and Katie. Alex rolled his eyes, letting his head hang, staring at his 'death ramps' ring as Matt's voice filled his ears.

But the moment that had fully confirmed Matt's suspicions was when they were over at Alex's a few days before New Year's Eve.

The lads were all sat in the living room, chatting about how Christmas had been. Everyone was really interrogating Alex about how it had gone for Arielle to spend Christmas over with him and his parents. The conversation had turned after about ten minutes, Jamie and Nick chatting loudly as Matt and Alex were caught up by their phones.

Alex was just distracted, his girlfriend was texting him from time to time as she'd gone out for the day with her friends. Matt was talking to Ella and Breana though, in the groupchat the three of them had.

Ellie - (28/12/2012 09:22) I have some scans that I just found and I've decided this will be my Christmas gift for you Matt.

Matt - (28/12/2012 09:24) You know where to send them, Ellie xx

Ellie - (28/12/2012 09:25) Please tell me you're not in public, i don't want to get blamed for your indecency.

Matt - (28/12/2012 09:25) I'm at Alex's. send them over x

Bre - (28/12/2012 09:26) He's gonna wank in his guest bathroom, how much do you wanna bet, Ellie?

Ellie - (28/12/2012 09:26) Not even gonna bet, he will do it. I'm 100% sure.

Matt - (28/12/2012 09:27) Am I really gonna be kept waiting? You've already talked Miss Hayes, email them.

Bre - (28/12/2012 09:28) Someone's eager...

Matt - (28/12/2012 09:28) Babe I miss you and Ella takes the best pictures of you, of course I am xxxx

Bre - (28/12/2012 09:29) Miss you more, honey. You're gonna love these, everything is red ;) xxxx

Ellie - (28/12/2012 09:31) Aw cute. Don't start sexting here please, I will like to not be traumatized x

Matt - (28/12/2012 09:32) Shut up, you're dirtier than me and Bre combined x

Ellie - (28/12/2012 09:34) And proud of it! (Just sent them, enjoy idiot xx)

Bre - (28/12/2012 09:34) Matt, don't leave yet, I'm trying to convince Ella to post at least one of the ones I took of her that day.

Matt - (28/12/2012 09:35) What are the options?

Bre - (28/12/2012 09:35) Just sent them to you.

Matt - (28/12/2012 09:37) Ellie, these are fucking amazing. At least post them to brag about Bre's photography skills. You're teaching her well xx

Bre - (28/12/2012 09:37) See!!!! That one where she's doing the strap of her heel is my favorite.

Ellie - (28/12/2012 09:38) But it's just been Christmas, maybe I should post something more festive?

Bre - (28/12/2012 09:38) Babe if you don't post it, I will go into your account and do it for you.

Matt - (28/12/2012 09:39) It'll be a christmas gift for people's wank banks. I'm sure julian will greatly appreciate it xx

Ellie - (28/12/2012 09:39) Wank banks?! Stop it.

Matt - (28/12/2012 09:39) Yeah your boyfriend's for a start. And I'm sure there's a long list after him.

Bre - (28/12/2012 09:40) Honey, I said convince her not keep her from it.

Ellie - (28/12/2012 09:42) Matt you're such an idiot, but okay I will post it only for you Bre. Any excuse to brag about my girl xxxxxx

Bre - (28/12/2012 09:42) Yay! love youuuu xxxxxxx

Matt - (28/12/2012 09:43) And for Julian???? Also stop trying to steal MY girlfriend.

Ellie - (28/12/2012 09:43) Hahaha sure for Julian too. And I will never xx

Bre - (28/12/2012 09:45) Okay Matt, you can go enjoy those pictures now xxxxx

Matt - (28/12/2012 09:45) Thanks hot stuff, talk to you later? xxxx

Bre - (28/12/2012 09:45) Definitely ;) xxx

Ellie - (28/12/2012 09:46) Disgusting, bye. Enjoy your wank.

Matt chuckled, he wanted to do nothing more than to leave and enjoy the scans Ella had sent him but he wanted to confirm his suspicions first.

He had joined Jamie and Nick's chat to appear distracted but he truly had all of his attention on Alex.

Five minutes later when both of their phones vibrated to the notification, Matt had to force himself to act as if he hadn't noticed.

Alex had frozen in his seat, his finger clicking on it and he sat up straighter when he opened the picture. He felt like Ella was purposely torturing him. A groan was stuck in his throat when the picture loaded.

Ella was leaning on the wall, wearing a red sheer robe. She was slightly bent down with her leg lifted upwards so she could do the strap of the heels she was wearing. Her hair was covering up her face, so her body was the main focus of the frame. The robe fell open on her legs so her 'Divine Feminine' tattoo was on full show and over it there was a garter band holding a dagger to her thigh.

'Femme fatale, taken by my favorite girl @breanamcdow xxxx'

He was trying to play it cool, Matt would give him that. But he only held up for two minutes before he excused himself saying, "Erm, I'm gonna go phone Arielle." He pointed behind him in the direction of his room as he stood up, he looked absolutely flustered.

The drummer wanted to laugh, and his other two friends noticed. They asked him what was happening, and he just dismissed them saying it was nothing. Internally he was laughing his ass off, Alex was still so fucked up over Ella—he found it comical.

He couldn't even let it go for the time being until Arielle would come back, because she was staying over at her friend's.

He was cursing as he moved around, locking both doors he'd gone through. It was like a routine by then, but it didn't feel like it. Lately, cumming to Ella's pictures felt more rewarding than fucking his girlfriend and it was killing him inside.

The fact that he couldn't even find pleasure in someone else, someone he should be, haunted him.

It was hard to recall ever being this bent out of shape by someone. He had never been this bewitched by a person he hadn't even gotten to properly kiss. He had loved before but whatever he was feeling now burnt.

He was branded by the thought of her.

When he'd come back, fifteen minutes later, Matt was elated. He knew it, he fucking knew it. The look on Alex's face was almost screaming it out loud for everyone to know.

Matt was intrigued, the question of how many times had he done that popping into the forefront of his brain. And if he wanted to know the answer, it was too many times. So many that Alex had lost count, so many that when he fucked his girlfriend saying her name felt utterly wrong—as if every bit of him belonged to Ella instead of Arielle.

He was frustrated to say the least. In not finding any comfort in the person he was supposed to, and he used to find it in Arielle but that was before he had seen Ella again.

She had come back into his life with a curse. He was sure she unknowingly had put him under a spell.

As the days passed, he had forced himself to try. To try really hard.

Try being the key word.

After New Year's day, when he'd woken up to a text from Ella wishing him a lovely new year and telling him she couldn't wait to have them all back, he had almost folded. Almost. And he was relieved by the fact that he could feel he could hold back a little bit longer, if he focused enough on not being affected by her.

But then as the first week of the year came to an end, and they only had a week left to go back to LA, Ella posted something that completely unleashed him.

She had gotten a new tattoo, a hand tattoo. 'Pure Desire' it read in big cursive letters in the middle of the top of her right hand.

The picture was what had made him let out a rough groan from the deepest pit of his chest.

She had her freshly tattooed hand around Julian's neck, her fingers tight around his throat and the tattoo on perfect focus in the middle of the frame.

'What a pretty little necklace'

Alex absolutely lost himself that night.

When Arielle came back, only twenty minutes later, he kissed her passionately. Arielle had moaned into his mouth filled with joy at the pleasant surprise. She'd dropped her bags on the floor and worked quickly on the buttons of his shirt, leaving his chest on show for her when the fabric dropped next to her purse.

They had moved fast to the bedroom, Alex kissing and bruising every bit of her neck and chest after they got on the bed. Arielle brought his face back up to kiss him fiercely before they could go on further, his hands worked on freeing her from her clothes trying his hardest to not interrupt the kiss, which was barely a proper one as their teeth clashed and their mouths hung open to let out their shaky breaths caused by the friction of their hips rocking against each others'.

Alex worked on automatic pilot, quickly undressing himself and putting a condom on. He grabbed his dick and teased her entrance, Arielle clung to his shoulders with her nails digging on his back while she moaned into his ear. He cursed, as he wasn't able to hold back any longer.

He filled her up completely in one swift motion, Arielle's head thrown back in pleasure as he bottomed out. He used to love seeing her falling apart under him from the very first moment he slid inside of her but now the view wasn't doing much for him. His brain kept asking for one person, one who was an ocean away.

He felt so disappointed that he gave into his thoughts so easily, letting his brain become clouded by the fantasy of it being Ella in his bed. He swore he opened his eyes back up and it was her. Ella, under him, cupping his jaw and begging him to go faster.

And who was he to deny her of anything?

Alex picked up the pace, grabbing one of Ella's thighs to lift her leg over his shoulder, and he felt himself grow harder inside her when a loud whine came out of her mouth.

She sounded so sweet, just like she always had. He left a trail of open mouth kisses from her chin down to the valley of her breasts, he used his tongue to tease her nipples. Sucking bruises around them, softly biting them to make her moan louder.

Ella lifted her hand to his mouth and made him suck her fingers, his saliva slowly dripping down her digits which were then quickly pressed to her clit. She started rubbing it in soft motions but when he brought his own hand up to make her rub harder on it, she started feeling herself nearing over the edge of her orgasm.

He felt her clenching harder as his pace sped up and to the sound of their skin slapping, their curses, their moans, joined the thud of the headboard hitting the wall. He groaned into her ear as he felt himself being milked by the tightness of her walls.

It only took his "Cum for me, darling." for Ella to give into the heavy pleasure and come undone. Her fingers tangled in his hair as her back arched and she trembled under him in a powerful orgasm, he felt himself spilling into the condom—his thrusts faltered and lost rhythm as he came.

He cursed into her ear, "Fucking hell," groaning as he rode out their orgasms. He sighed completely overcome in pleasure, "Ell–," he started but as he opened his eyes and saw Arielle looking completely blissed out under him, he felt himself wanting to be sick. "Arielle," he was quick to change and she giggled.

She fucking giggled under him, way too distracted by the euphoria of her orgasm to even catch his mortified expression.

Arielle opened her eyes, holding his face and pressing multiple kisses to his lips. "I love you," she said, and he felt his heart dropping. He only hummed and stood up.

He didn't feel anything at all when he pulled out of her. Not when he went to the bathroom and discarded the condom. He looked at himself in the mirror and wanted to scream. He could not do this to Arielle any longer, she deserved better than whatever the fuck the situation had turned into.

He grabbed a cloth to clean her up, at least he would be nice to her before letting her go. There was no way he could continue the relationship if he knew his heart was set on someone else. He just couldn't.

He let her cuddle into him, as if he wasn't dying inside from disappointment in himself. She was on cloud nine, that had been the best sex they'd had in a while. She'd thought, what a wonderful way to start the new year.

If she had only known.

The next morning he had felt compelled to make some breakfast, he wanted to let her down easy—as if it had been a one night stand and not a relationship that had gone on for seven months.

She was eating the omelet he'd made, sipping on her coffee happily when he'd turned back from the stove, and he'd looked at her with a frown. It was the second time he'd actually looked at her that whole morning.

"Arielle, I, erm–," he started, not even having the correct words to say what he wanted to say, "I don't think this is working anymore."

She had snorted, waiting for the punchline of his joke but when she was met with absolute silence, her eyes jumped back on him. "What?"

"I, erm, I don't think we should be together anymore."

A loud scoff came from her, what the fuck? "I don't get it..."

He frowned even harder, was there another way to interpret what he had just said? There was no way he couldn't have been clearer.

"I don't think we should keep this relationship going." Alex repeated and he felt so heartless, he could see the more he repeated it, the more her heart was taking a hit.

"Stop," Arielle pleaded. "I fucking get what you said, but why?" She sounded so desperate to find sense in what was happening. It all felt like a fever dream.

He had no clue what to say, "It's me." He plainly added, not wanting to use the cringe phrase that worked oh so perfectly well for the situation.

Arielle let out a humorless laugh, "What the fuck was last night then? Did you know you were doing this? You wanted to get one last fuck out of me?" Her words were poisonous, trying to cause him at least half of the hurt he was causing her.

But despite her pushing to get something out of him, the singer could only let his face fall. "No, I didn't. I–" He felt bad for her, it truly was entirely his fault but if he admitted what was truly happening, he knew Arielle could blame Ella and he couldn't have that happen. Not when Ella hadn't done anything wrong. "I'm so sorry, Arielle. I really am."

She groaned frustrated, the fork dropping on the middle of the plate made him wince, just as the screeching of the chair she was sitting on did.

She'd rushed to get dressed, pack all of her shit up and leave his place. She tried her hardest to do it all quickly but to not forget a thing, she didn't want to see him for a while.

When she was done, about an hour later, Alex was nowhere to be seen.

"Coward." The model muttered as she walked through the door.

When Arielle got outside, leaving the building in which he lived that she planned to never see again, she waited for a taxi she'd called. What she hadn't noticed was Alex walking back to his place, a couple blocks away, seeing her there standing under the gloomy sky.

He felt like such a shitty person, even more so when she dropped her case in the boot of the cab and got into the backseat with a haste. He saw her wiping her cheeks before closing the door. The car drove by and he didn't even look at it, he just walked back home with his gaze on the pavement and a cigarette in between his lips.

When Alex made it through his front door again, it felt like something in the air had changed. He felt free for a change, like his heart could leap in his chest without a trace of guilt.

But later that day, when Breana posted a picture of Julian and Ella to her own page, he felt the sharpness of a needle poke his chest. Seeing them happily dancing under the streetlights had his heart twisting with hurt.

The heartache he got from seeing her happy with somebody else was only stronger now that he was alone.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

A/N: Oh Alex... He's such an idiot. I hope you enjoyed, I'm really excited to share all that's coming next! Cannot believe we're already in Part 6 though, time goes by too fast. Thank you so much for reading everyone, I still pinch myself when I see people interacting with my stories and you all saying you enjoy them means the absolute world to me. See you soon for the next one xx

Taglist:  @imagine-that-100​ @red---moon​ @kennedy-brooke​ @faveficz​ @indierockgirrl​ @ladydraculasthings @moonvr​ @unwantedlovergirl​ @eaglestar31 @nikisfwn​ @funniestpersoninnyc​ @andrearroe​