#and a few things that i’ve skipped because i was getting sick of them: two avvar-related ttrpg adventures (where eagles lair & buried pasts)

[danielnelsen]

anon who asked about chasind headcanons, i am not ignoring you, that is actually step 3 of my current project:

gather all chasind lore in existence

organise it into something coherent

fill in the gaps

unfortunately i have been on step 1 for about 2 weeks and it is currently a 130 page document and will still take a while to finish

but i am getting there!!! and i have formed many headcanons in the process about all kinds of things

[santanasaintmendes]

“i wish i was who you drunk texted at midnight”

wc!: 5.2k (i’m sorry i’ve got serious problems 😔)

ollie bearman x reader + childhood friends to ?

warnings: angst asf, heartbreak, swearing, let me know if there are any more!

part 2

summary: after moving to Chelmsford you meet ollie, the two of you quickly become friends but unfortunately you fall for Ollie. he moves away for f2 and leaves you, until he’s supposed to race in Jeddah. you fly there only to gain more than what you bargained for

type: angst (cliff hanger ending IM SORRY)

a/n: this is just something I wrote because I was sick in bed the last few days, it’s super long but so hope yall like it! Also i’m sorry if it’s bad lol i am still sick and this is just something i wrote for fun to entertain myself. ALSO no hate to Estelle Ogilvy (is that how i spell her last name) i just used her for the plot of the story please don’t come after me.). The name is inspired by “drunk text” by Henry Moodie, please give it a listen it’s such a good song, enjoy xxx

They say that you should always be friends with the person you like before you start to fall for them. Well, that’s one thing you could check off the list if you looked back on your friendship with Ollie. The truth was, being in love with your best friend sucked. Friends can break your heart too, something people tend to forget. 

6 and 6 

The first time you ever met Ollie was in a library. A week prior to that you had moved to a strange town named Chelmsford. A name that 6-year-old you found difficult to pronounce, to be frank everything in the new town sounded different to what you were used to. The people there spoke with such a different accent to what you were used to, it would take you quite a while to get used to it. As you sat in the back of the taxi with your backpack at your feet, you stared out the fogged up window. The sky was a gloomy grey and the landscape seemed to be an endless plain of sad looking meadows. 

You couldn’t seem to understand why your parents would choose to move to such a sad looking place, it didn’t make any sense. The taxi soon came to a slow stop, the brakes squealing loudly. You glanced out the window hopefully, rubbing the condensation away with your sleeve. Only to be disappointed to see a boring brick building of some sort. It was an odd combination of white wooden window frames and red bricks, like something out of one of those 1600s movies your Father once showed you. You anxiously looked back to your Mother who was watching you as your Father sorted out something with the taxi driver. Upon seeing your unhappy face your Mother chuckled softly.

“I heard that there’s a library just down the street, maybe sometime this week we could visit it.” she offered. You nodded, slightly content. Reading books was something you enjoyed and maybe with a library being close by, not all was lost. 

As it turned out, that boring brick building was your new house. 

Despite having to unpack and sort adult-y things out, your Mother took you to the library just as she had promised. As you skipped down the cobbled road, your Mother held a bright yellow umbrella over your head to shield you from the rain that was pouring down from the cloudy grey sky. 

You pushed upon the heavy front door to the library which also happened to look like a sad white brick square with a pointy red roof, a depressed mushroom if you will. You halted in your steps as giant wood bookcases rose before you, shelves full of books. Never had you ever seen so many books before. In the corner there was a lady sorting things in a trolley with her back turned to you, she still hadn’t noticed you. 

“C’mon, let’s head to the kids section.” your Mother said, taking you by the hand and leading you deeper into the library. Stunned by the amount of books that filled the shelves you couldn’t help but wander off when your Mother told you to stay put while she set up a borrowing card for you. 

Luckily, the children’s section of the library was much more pleasant looking than the eerie hallways of adult books. You scanned the shelves in search of something to read, until you came to a stop. Two round brown eyes among the books blinked from the other side of the shelf, scaring you. 

It was a boy. 

You blinked back, unsure of what to do. So you did what any other 6 year old did when they believed they had found a new friend. 

“Do you want to read with me?” you abruptly asked the boy who was still staring at you with wide eyes. A moment of silence passed before he nodded slowly, the boy rounded the corner. He wasn’t much taller than you with chocolate brown hair and small freckles that spilled over his face like tiny stars. He stuck out his hand, “I’m Oliver. But my friends call me Ollie.” he greeted, a smile taking over his face. His voice sounded odd, like the taxi driver who’d driven you from the airport to your new house. Ollie reminded you of a rabbit with his two front teeth that seemed to take up over half of his face, but you didn’t say anything because your Mother told you that saying things like that wasn’t nice. 

You took his hand cautiously in yours, “I’m Y/N.” you replied slowly. He enthusiastically shook your hand, taking you by surprise as he led you to sit down on the bright coloured bean bags. You watched curiously as he picked a book off the shelf before plopping down next to you again. You peered over as he opened the book to the first page, you frowned, not recognising the book. 

“It’s a book called Where’s Wally (Where’s Waldo if you’re American). You have to find the characters, there’s Wally, Wenda, the wizard guy and Woof - that’s the dog.” Ollie explained to you, pointing to each character on the page. The initial nervousness of meeting another kid, melting away. You began to feel excited as you nodded along while Ollie continued to explain how to play. The two of you spent the next hour doing all sorts of things, talking about favourite colours, favourite animals, reading books, drawing, playing board games together. Both getting along so easily it was as if you guys had known each other forever. That was until you heard your Mother calling your name to go home. 

You stood up, looking down at Ollie who was still seated on a yellow bean bag. He blinked up at you, with those big brown eyes that had scared you only an hour earlier. “I have to go home now.” you told him, a wave of sadness passing between the two of you as you both realised your fun had come to an end. 

“That’s okay, maybe I’ll see you at school.” he suggested hopefully upon seeing your downcast face. You broke into a smile, “Okay, bye Ollie.” you waved slowly as you began to walk away. Ollie waved back with a giant grin on his face as he watched you disappear behind the wooden bookshelves. 

“Hey Mom!” you called out to your Mother as she came into view, she was chatting with the lady who you’d seen at the desk sorting books. She paused and turned to you, “Hey, I was just talking to the librarian, she was saying about how she has a son who hangs out here while she works on the weekend.” 

Putting two and two together you realised that the book lady was Ollie’s Mother. You smiled at the lady, “I was playing with Ollie, we were reading that one book, ‘Where’s  . .  .” You trailed off, racking your brain for the name of the book he’d shown you. 

“Where’s Wally?” the librarian offered, she nodded fondly. “That’s his favourite book.” You grinned up at the lady, looking back in the direction where you’d been playing with Ollie.

“Mom, am I going to the school as Ollie?” you asked, looking up at your Mother. She chuckled softly before nodding, “As a matter of fact, you are.” 

Those golden words were what made you unbelievably excited to begin at your new school. You had barely been able to sleep with the thought of seeing your new friend again, so on that Monday morning you bounded down the stairs to the kitchen. “Good morning!” you greeted both your parents, taking a seat at the dining table, legs swinging off the chair impatiently. 

“Someone’s excited for their first day of school.” your Mother hummed as she set a plate of pancakes in front of you. You nodded, “I get to see my new friend.” you replied as you stuffed your mouth with your breakfast. 

You were basically pulling your Mother through the front gates as you scanned the sea of other children in the same uniform as you. The uniform also happened to be grey, it complimented the terrible weather perfectly. Your eyes fell onto the brown haired-freckled boy from two days earlier, you ran up to him, “Hi Ollie.” you smiled. A giant grin took over the boy’s face, “Y/N!” he exclaimed, pulling you into a hug. From that day on, the two of you were inseparable. Where one of you went, the other followed right behind, Ollie helped you adjust to your new school, showing you around and never leaving you by yourself. As the years passed the two of you only became closer, though you would soon find out that that wasn’t the greatest thing. 

13 and 13

As the two of you grew into teenagers, things began to change and not always for the better. Ollie and you still remained close friends, having dinner at one another’s house on Friday’s, walking home together after school and occasionally spending afternoons playing Mario Kart with Ollie’s siblings. Your families were also extremely close now courtesy to both you and Ollie, his younger siblings becoming like your own. But the worst thing? 

You’d caught feelings for Ollie, it had been so sudden almost like it had crept up on you, taking you by surprise. You didn’t understand. It felt so wrong. 

One day out of the blue it hit you like a pile of bricks, you just couldn’t stop staring at him. Absolutely enchanted by him, his chocolate brown hair, those pretty freckles that you’d memorised on his face. 

Ollie was like a brother to you, he was your best friend, so how come you felt these things for him?

To make matters even worse for little 13 year old you, Ollie liked another girl. A girl who absolutely hated your guts. 

What had you done to her? You didn’t know. 

You and Ollie had been having a sleepover when he told you about her, her name was Estelle Ogilvy. She was gorgeous and untouchable, by far the prettiest girl you’d ever seen. You didn’t hold a candle to her and you knew it too. Ollie had been hopelessly in love with her since the start of high school when he shared science and maths class with her. Time and time again he would ramble on about her to you, completely oblivious to your feelings for him. You could only nod along wishing it was you who he was talking about. That’s just how it was, you were stuck in a bubble of unrequited love. So all you could do now was watch from afar as Ollie ran after a girl who you just knew would never like him as much as he liked her. 

15 and 15

Ollie’s karting career really took off in the last few years and you couldn’t have been prouder, those feelings for him still lingered around but you’d come to terms that he’d never like you in the same way. Because there he was, still stuck on chasing Estelle. You couldn’t blame him, and maybe that’s what you were always just supposed to be, friends. 

Yet you were jealous, something you refused to admit. Jealous of Estelle because oh how you wished to be talked about so fondly by Ollie. To always be on his mind, to be the girl he liked and would never shut up about. You still didn’t understand why you felt this way, in your mind it made absolutely zero sense. Then why did it feel so right when you were by his side, almost like you belonged there next to him? But Ollie being Ollie could just never get a hint whenever you tried to subtly let him know. It sucked because there’s nothing worse than loving someone who’ll never love you the same way. 

18 and 18 

It got worse as the years passed, your feelings for your best friend would just not go away. No matter how hard you tried, how hard you tried to find another boy to fawn over, your gaze would always fall back on Ollie. But he was dating Estelle now, he was in Formula 2 now. It almost seemed like an eternity ago when you first met him in the library just down your street. An eternity ago when you would attend his karting races, cheering the loudest for him in the stands. All of that was now in the past. You barely even saw him now that he had dropped out of school to pursue his career in Formula 2. Now all you could do now was watch from a distance as he looked the happiest you’d seen him in ages.

He was spectacular at what he did, you would watch him race on TV every week no matter what hour the race was or even if you had school the next day. 

Yet inside of you there was a giant hole, a hole that Ollie had left behind when he abandoned you. Abandoned was a bit of a stretch but it was the only word you could use to sum up what you had felt when he left. Ollie had to move to Italy for his career, news that he hadn’t even told you in person, you had to hear it from his Mother. He’d taken your hands in his at the airport as he waited to board his plane and promised you he’d stay in touch, that he’d call every week but here you were with the last time you’d spoken to him being over a month ago. 

You refused to be the first one to reach out to him, you felt like he owed you that much effort at least. So you waited  . . . and waited only for the world to keep spinning while you were stuck in the past. That was until you finally realised that you had never meant as much to Ollie as he had to you. 

19 and 19 - present day 

“Y/N! WAKE UP OR YOU’LL BE LATE FOR SCHOOL!” your Mother’s voice echoed up to your bedroom, rattling the glass in the window frames. You groaned as you groggily sat up, pulling open the curtains only to be greeted with dark overcast weather, rain pouring down outside. You rubbed your eyes, yawning as you dragged yourself out of bed. It was your second year of university studying mechanical engineering at the biggest university in Chelmsford. It proved to be difficult with its endless nights of staying up doing work but you knew it would be worth it in the end. 

Your university never failed to confuse you and make you late for class with all of its giant identical hallways. You ran down the corridors, heels clacking on the marble floor until you came to a stop at the door to where your lecture was for that day. Slipping through the door you weaved through the seats of the auditorium to find an empty seat. Luckily for you, your friend Bianca saved a seat for you. 

“Thanks.” you whispered only to be shot dirty glares by the students around you. You winced as you looked ahead at the teacher in an attempt to catch on what he was droning on about. Bianca gently nudged you, passing her phone to you. You frowned, eyebrows knitted as you looked down at the screen. A notice on Ferrari's official instagram with Ollie’s face plastered above the words “Oliver Bearman to race in Jeddah this weekend for Carlos Sainz.” 

You narrowed your eyes and huffed, passing the phone back to Bianca who smiled nervously. “What was the point of that?” you whispered, leaning closer to her. Bianca sighed, “You’re not fooling anyone, I know you still have unresolved feelings for him.” she whispered back only to get a loud shushing sound from a nearby student. 

Bianca shot them a glare before turning back to you, “You have to go, I don’t care what you say. You are going. This is his Formula 1 debut, whether you’re still friends with him or not you’ve got to be there for him.” she whispered-shouted, looking at you sternly. You sighed, leaning back into your chair, shaking your head. 

“It’s not the same anymore. He’s clearly forgotten about me, the last time we spoke was last year and he’s been back home 4 times in the last 12 months.” 

Silence hung in the air, only the voice of the teacher rambling on and on about something you still hadn’t caught on about. 

“That Estelle girl, she’s clearly using him. You were his best friend, surely that means something to you both.” Bianca tried again but it wasn’t any use. There was no purpose in bringing up something that you both had clearly tried so hard  to forget about. 

So then why were you here booking a flight to Jeddah to watch your old best friend debut in Formula 1? 

It was something you couldn’t answer and didn’t want to. 

The thing that you hated the most is that you didn’t even think twice before booking those tickets. 

How could you care so much about a person who had so blatantly forgotten about you?

Deep down you knew the answer, it was because to you Ollie was like your home. He was the first person to make you feel like you actually belonged somewhere, he never abandoned you to eat lunch alone at school, he never cancelled plans once you made them, he was a good person, a good friend. 

Or at least he was. 

Were you insane? The answer was yes, yes you were insane. Being here was so crazy; it nearly made you want to turn around and jump on the next flight back home. You were standing in line to go through the gates when you heard someone call your name. You secretly hoped it was Ollie but much to your disappointment it was . . . Arthur?

Ollie had introduced you to Arthur back when they had raced in Formula 3 together. You hadn’t seen him in forever. 

“Arthur?” you questioned as he pulled you into a hug, you hugged him back before pulling away, still unable to believe it was him. 

“I was about to ask what you’re doing here but that would be dumb.” you confessed, only noticing now the massive crowd that was surrounding the two of you. Arthur chuckled before nodding in the direction of the gate, “C’mon, I can get you in, you’ll be my guest.” 

“Oh, you don’t have to-” you began but Arthur was already pushing you through the gates. Walking back onto a race track was like taking a breath of fresh air after being in a car for a long time. You used to accompany Ollie to all of his karting races each weekend in Chelmsford, so being in the stands had become like a second home to you. 

“Are you here for Ollie?” Arthur asked as you walked in the direction of the motorhomes. You caught yourself before you could answer too irrationally, “No, I’m just here to watch the race.” you shrugged, realising how dumb that sounded as soon as it left your mouth. No good person would fly all the way to Saudi Arabia to watch a race if there was a Grand Prix in their own country.  If you wanted to “just watch a race” you could’ve watched it on TV or gone to the Silverstone GP. Arthur only hummed, you knew he had already caught on, it was so obvious it made you want to dig a hole and jump in. 

“Anyways,” you quickly said, eager to move onto a different topic.

“Anyways.” Arthur agreed, looking at you, eyebrows raised. “You can’t fool me, I’ve known it since the moment I met you.”

You let out an exasperated sigh, “What am I going to say to him?” you asked, looking to Arthur for help. He shrugged, “No clue but you might want to think of something quickly because he’s walking over right now.”

“Y/N?” 

You blinked as you came face to face with the person you wanted to see so badly for the last year and now that you were here facing him it felt like all the air in you had gotten sucked right out. He looked  the same since the last time you saw him. In the last year you wanted to hate Ollie so much but it was impossible because you still loved him and that was the big terrible truth that you refused to admit. 

“Hi. Ollie.” you said, to not let the jumble of words that you’ve kept in since the last time you saw him spill out. Arthur sent you a quick salute, “Gotta go, I’ll see you afterwards, Y/N.” and with that he left you with Ollie in silence. 

“What are you doing here?” Ollie finally asked, he was acting so . . .  so normal. As if nothing had changed between the two of you.

“I’m here because I’m your number 1 fan, remember?” you scoffed, looking up at him. A reminder of the time when you were both 10, Ollie gifted you a t-shirt at Christman with the words: “Ollie’s No.1 fan.” plastered on it for you to wear to his karting races. It was sure to be buried deep in your wardrobe somewhere. 

“Yeah,” he breathed, “Yeah you are.” guilt written all over his face. 

“Why’d you leave me then? Tell me the truth, did I do something wrong? Was I too normal for you?” you asked, questions pouring out of you. 

“We were best friends, how could you just leave me like that? Do I mean nothing to you? Because you were everything to me, my best friend, the first person who made me feel like I actually mattered to someone, so tell me, why did you abandon me?” 

Silence hung in the air as you stared up at Ollie. You wanted answers, perhaps it would be the only thing that would let you move on from him. He looked away, unable to meet your gaze. This was so. . . so unfair. You wanted to yell, scream at him even so he could feel even a fraction of the pain you’d felt in the past year. 

“So that’s it? You don’t even have an explanation?” you asked him, your voice shaking with anger it made your throat ache as you blinked back tears. 

“I waited and waited for you to call me, to even send a message but that was a mistake. You’ll never love me in the same way that I love you.” 

Hot tears rolled down your cheeks, Ollie finally meeting your eyes as the three simple words left your lips. 

You’ll never love me in the same way that I love you.

The world stopped like everything had been put on pause as you realised your mistake. You felt like you’d gotten hit on the head with a cricket bat. 

“I have to go.” is all that left your mouth as you turned around. The ground was moving like a spinning wheel - a blurry mess of colours. It made you sick to your stomach as you walked away, your cheeks flushed hot and your forehead sticky with sweat. Ollie didn’t even call out for you, nor run after you for an explanation because it was so blatantly clear what you’d just confessed to him. 

You wished you could hate him, hate the fact that he’d left you, forgotten you like an old stuffed toy, you hated that he didn’t love you. 

You sat on the curb, clutching your knees outside of the entrance to the racetrack wallowing in self-pity. Wiping away tears that just kept falling down your face much to your distaste. The sun was beginning to disappear behind the buildings, the sky now a deep shade of orange. You stared at your feet, it was dumb, you should’ve known that coming here to Jeddah was a mistake. Ollie had moved on, something that you hadn’t done in the last year. You felt so stupid, why did you believe you could repair your friendship?

Why did you-

“Excuse me?” a voice interrupted your train of thought, you quickly wiped your tears and looked up to see Arthur standing beside you, a pitiful smile on his face. You looked away, “What do you want?” you grumbled, folding your arms across your chest bitterly. Arthur sat down beside you, watching you closely as you stared at the trees in the distance. He sighed, “The race is about to start and Ollie’s not coming out of his driver room. Estelle said she’d be here but she’s not and he’s locked himself in.” 

The words hung heavy in the air, “And what does that have to do with me?” you asked flatly. You knew exactly what he meant. But you weren’t going to do that, you were done with Ollie and everything to do with him. 

“You know exactly what it has to do with you. Did you really think Ollie forgot about you that easily? You’re dumber than I thought.” he quipped unhelpfully. 

“Thanks,” you muttered miserably, Arthur winced. 

“What I meant is that you can’t give up this easily, you and I both know how stupid Ollie can be sometimes.” 

You chuckled softly, letting a tiny smile creep onto your face. Arthur wasn’t wrong. When you and Ollie were both 8 you invited him over for Easter to make coloured eggs. It resulted in 20 cracked eggs on the kitchen tiles when Ollie accidentally knocked them off the bench. The two of you had stared at the mess on the ground before bursting out laughing until you were both in tears. It was safe to say that you both spent the next 2 hours scrubbing the tiles and the yolk that had stained the grout in between them. 

“Yeah.” you said softly, looking at the sun that had been swallowed by the top of the palm trees, the stars in the sky beginning to appear as you sat in the light underneath a lamp post. 

“So?”

“Okay, I’ll get him out of the room but after that I’m out of here. I want to go home.” 

Arthur gave you a quick thumbs up as you raised your hand to knock gently on the door to the driver’s room. There wasn’t a reply, only dead silence and that’s when you heard it, crying from inside the room. 6-year-old you would’ve kicked down the door and done anything to get to your best friend. But here you stood outside the room, sending hopeless glances at Arthur who was standing behind you. 

“Ollie?” you called out hesitantly, the crying halted and there was another long moment of silence. You pressed your ear up against the door, waiting for an answer. 

“Yeah?” his shaky voice replied, you breathed a sigh of relief. You turned around, beckoning Arthur to leave you both, he only nodded, mouthing ‘OK’ as he slipped down the hallway. Turning back to the driver’s room you took a deep breath in, you didn’t want to go in. You didn’t think you could face him after what happened earlier. 

“You came,” he said as your hand rested on the handle of the door but there was resistance, it was still locked. 

“Of course, are you okay?” you asked, immediately regretting asking as soon as it left your mouth. You cursed yourself silently as you awaited Ollie’s answer. Soft sniffles came from the other side of the door, “Yeah.” he finally replied quietly but loud enough for you to hear from the other side of the door.

What were you supposed to say to get him out of the driver’s room?

“Everyone’s waiting for you, you can’t stay in there forever.” you gently reminded him, sighing as you sat down, back leaning up against the door. There was another long moment of silence as you rested your head on the door, stretching your legs out for comfort. 

“I don’t think I can do it.” he said, taking you by surprise. The Ollie you’d known wasn’t afraid of anything, he was confident in almost everything he did, almost it seemed. 

“Oliver, you’re being crazy. You are by far the most talented driver I’ve ever seen.” you told him, staring at the roof of the building as you heard a sigh from the other side of the door. “You’re just saying that because you’re my girlfriend, Estelle.” 

You froze as if you’d just been stabbed by icicles, Ollie thought you were Estelle. 

Of course. He’d been expecting her, Arthur had told you before. You scoffed to yourself quietly, you would’ve stood up and left if it wasn’t the fact that you were here to get Ollie out of the driver’s room he had oh so nicely locked himself in. You let out a soft sigh as you racked your brain for what you should say to him. 

“I’m not. It’s the truth, Ollie.” you told him with a heavy heart, feeling as if you were just setting yourself up to get your heart broken all over again. You took a deep breath in, “You are such an amazing driver it’s literally insane, not only that but you’re by far the kindest, most selfless person I know. It’s crazy that you think you can’t do this, because I know that you can. Ferrari chose you to drive for them for a reason, they know what you’re capable of, everyone else does too. I see you and you’re extraordinary, you have this spark inside you that’s amazing. And . . . maybe that’s the reason why I love you. I always have, and when I had the chance I should’ve told you but I didn’t because your friendship has always meant more to me than my own feelings.” you let out a shaky breath. 

“You’re a good person, Ollie. You’ve earned a chance to show the world just how great and insanely talented you are, are you really going to throw it away?” 

You blinked back tears, who knew you could get so emotional after giving such a life changing speech?

You rubbed your eyes and cleared your throat, letting out a deep sigh. It was time to leave now, Ollie would have realised by now that it was you who was speaking to him and not Estelle. As you began to get up, leaning against the door for support you heard a click!

Oh shit, was the only thought that went through your mind as you lost your footing and fell backwards, the door frame offering you no help at all as you grasped at it helplessly. You stared up at Ollie as you laid at his feet, a million thoughts racing through your mind. He was in his fireproofs with his race suit tied around his waist as he looked down at you, eyebrows knitted. There were tear stains on his flushed cheeks as he stared at you with those wide brown eyes you’d seen among the books all those years ago. 

“Y/N?” 

a/n: sorry if it was so quick and rushed i just wanted to post something! Thank you if you got the end, ik it was super long for no reason, so thank you! Please let me know what you think, likes and reblogs are always appreciated, thank you and have an amazing day xx

[canonicallyobserving911]

Buck & Eddie: Eddie was M.I.A. and Buck was too.

The video above includes the scenes from S6 where Buck and Eddie were either missing or weren't mentioned even though they should have been.

During Season 6, Eddie was M.I.A. (missing in action) from several scenes even though he should have been present and Buck was either not mentioned or he was missing too even though he should have been present.

While I was watching 6x4 when it originally aired, I noticed Buck wasn’t on a call while the rest of the team was at work and as 6A progressed, it became a pattern.  For the duration of 6A and well into 6B, Buck’s or Eddie’s absences became even more noticeable and they were so prevalent that they were JARRING AND GLARINGLY OBVIOUS.  By the end of 6A, viewers were wondering what happened.  The showrunner (KR) said in an interview that they were trying new pairings which was fine but hindsight is usually 20/20 and when I started analyzing the scenes that didn’t include one of them, it kind of seemed like she may have been telling a half truth.  I mentioned how storylines and pairings were affected in a post I did in November 2022 but now I believe their absences or the lack of mentioning the other one was INTENTIONAL.

Buck and/or Eddie not being present bothered me and I wanted to know why but I didn’t research it until recently because of the way season 6 ended.  With the way TM (the OG showrunner) has been releasing and rereleasing photos of Buddie and Bathena for the last few weeks, I believed their absences in season 6 became too glaring for me to continue ignoring them.  For Buck and Eddie to be drastically removed from each other’s lives had to be on purpose and IMO, it was done so the audience would realize how them not being with each other didn’t make sense.  Let’s be real, regardless as to whether a viewer ships Buck and Eddie as a romantic couple, their presence in each other’s lives and the Buckley-Diaz family’s dynamic has become a staple on the show and when they’re not included, people notice.  Everyone knows how close they are so for them to be separated and viewers along with journalists writing about it was perplexing to say the least.

Before I delve into this, please understand these are MY OBSERVATIONS AND INTERPRETATIONS of the things I noticed during season 6, therefore, it’s ok if someone doesn’t agree.  Everyone interprets media differently so it’s ok for two differences of an opinion to coexist without someone trying to force their thoughts onto the other person.

Now back to our regularly scheduled programming.

I believe it all started with the scene below when Eddie asked, “Buck!  Where the hell you going?” because their absences started right after it and they continued through the early part of 6B.

In 6x4, Buck was off work while Bobby, Chimney and Eddie were all at work but there was no explanation given as to why Buck was off.  Everyone knows Buck loves being at the firehouse especially since he filed a lawsuit to get back to the team after the ladder truck explosion (whether he was right or wrong in filing the lawsuit will not be discussed here.  It happened more than four years ago and I’ve moved on from it).  He wasn’t sick so it’s not like he used a sick day but maybe he used a personal day or he used some PTO time but either way, the audience wasn’t told why he wasn’t with the 118.

He went to Hen’s house to discuss Connor's request for him to be his sperm donor but since she was on leave, no explanation was needed for why she wasn’t at work.  Reminder, Buck wasn’t on leave so he could have gone to her house to talk to her after their shift ended but he didn’t.  His absence was noticeable especially since at the beginning of the episode, he was sitting at the other end of the table alone and away from the group while Eddie, Chimney and Hen talked about Eddie disciplining Chris for skipping his science club meetings.

In 6x5, Eddie took Hoover the dog to Buck’s loft but the audience didn't see it.  It was the only handoff that wasn't shown in CANON but the question is, why?  What was the issue with the audience seeing Eddie give Buck the dog ?  The only thing that makes narrative sense is they wanted viewers to not see it so they would notice.  Interesting!

In 6x7, Eddie didn't mention Buck at all when he told Felisa about Chris being lost in the Tsunami but once again the question is why?  Everyone who watched 3x1-3x3 knows Eddie took Chris to visit "His Buck" that day and Eddie showed Hen and Chimney a selfie of Buck and Chris while they were on a call. In the photo, Buck and Chris were at breakfast earlier eating pancakes.  Also, after the first wave hit, we know Buck saved Chris and they got separated so Eddie’s scene with Felisa was another glaringly obvious one where Buck wasn’t mentioned and it had to have been done for a reason.  Reminder, Eddie told Felisa “My wife died… and six months later my son was on the pier when the Tsunami hit.”  Well, Chris wasn’t there alone so 👀.

In 6x8, Buck was missing when Eddie and Chris were getting ready for Chris' first school dance. Carla was there but it was kind of off putting and it seemed like she shouldn’t have been the one Eddie was talking to the same way she shouldn’t have been talking to him in 5x10 when he was preparing to leave the 118.  If they didn’t want Buck there, then it could have easily been a father and son moment between Eddie and Chris especially since she didn't do anything but say she thought it was Chris' first crush after they went into the kitchen.  It was only one of the two episodes she was in for the entire season, so what gives?

Later in the episode, Eddie ended up telling Buck and the 118 about it anyway and based on Buck’s reaction, it's likely Chris had already told Buck about his crush (post linked here).

In 6x10, Eddie was present and at the firehouse while Buck and Chimney cleaned the fire engine and the ladder truck.  He was on the floor throwing a baseball with Hen.

But Eddie was missing from the call when a lightning strike hit the car and the woman gave birth but reminder, the scene happened after he was AT THE FIREHOUSE with everyone else.   It's possible he could have been man behind but the point is he was missing.  Also, why was he missing?  Buck helped Bobby with the baby and Bobby had to call Hen and Chimney over for assistance which means Eddie’s help as a medic was needed for all three victims but it was kind of like the show wanted him to be absent so the viewers would notice and we did.

In 6x11, Eddie was only in Buck’s coma dream at the beginning when Daniel told him the next time he goes up a ladder, he should have someone to have his back and Buck said he did.  Other than that initial interaction, Eddie WASN'T there and his absence was glaringly obvious.

In 6x13, Eddie was M.I.A. twice. The first time was after a call that he went to with Buck and Hen.  It was the one where the couple misplaced a "toy".

Chimney wasn't on the call with them but when they were leaving work and Buck was calling all the women he slept with to see if he satisfied them (which was 🙄 I don’t even have words), Eddie wasn't there but Chimney was.  But the question once again is why? Could it be the show was making a point since Buck had just had a conversation with a victim’s husband about an article he read that stated 80% of women aren’t satisfied by their partners (related post about Buck’s woodworking skills linked here)?

In 6x13, Eddie wasn’t at the loft while Buck and Chris were baking cookies and it appears to be a call back to 5x3 when AF was caring for Chris during the blackout (related post linked here).  Reminder, AF left a mess in Eddie’s kitchen but Buck’s kitchen was clean and organized while him and Chris were baking cookies for Chris’ whole class.  They even talked about cooking the steaks Buck and Eddie won while they played poker for dinner.

What was the reason for all of this?

Initially I, like many others was pissed at the lack of Buck and Eddie, Buck, Eddie and Chris and Buckley-Diaz Family scenes in 6A.  I’m still annoyed by it but like I mentioned above, hindsight is 20/20 so it’s possible the show was trying to get the audience to realize how important they are in each other’s lives by omitting them from specific and important scenes.

Did they do a good job of illustrating it?  NO!

They could have done it differently like a lot of other things but the season ended messily and by then it was too late to change it.

The point of this post is whenever Buck and Eddie are absent, it's noticeable and it can't be denied.  KR said they were mixing up the dynamics (related post linked here) but that can't be it because in 6x9 Hen ended up talking to her best friend Chimney about the way she was feeling about Denny wanting to meet Nathaniel after Eddie and Buck dropped off their four-way call, so she wasn't telling the whole truth.

Could their absences be a coincidence? No. Why?

Because in 6x7 Athena said she didn't believe in them and in 5x17 Karen said once is a mistake, two times is a coincidence and three times is a pattern.  Well, their absences happened more than three times so Buck and Eddie missing in action from each other's lives was a pattern in season 6 and it seems to have been done on purpose.

It appears the omittances of Buck and Eddie from specific scenes in season 6 was in preparation for season 7 but the question is, will anything come of them?  Who knows except for the showrunner (TM), the writers, producers and the actors and actresses so we shall see.

[frozenjokes]

Toys Like Tape Measures (And A Brand New Splint!)

tw for drugging, though only in the medical sense. however, because of the language barrier, Mumbo doesn’t understand what’s happening really, so if that makes you uncomfortable I would skip

“Alright, so here’s the deal,” Mumbo heard Scar before he even reached the clearing, and he couldn’t be more excited. Scar was back, (and Grian was there too) he was finally back after being gone all week! “Today we’re going to fix that splint- ope- don’t make that face at me yet, let me explain, let me explain. I promise it will be 100% safe.”

“So many things- so many things, Scar, but you are not a doctor, much less a veterinarian- how do you even think this is going to work? Mumbo won’t even let us touch him, what makes you think anything about this will be safe?”

“I’ve been doing a lot of research, Grian! I’ve talked to every large animal vet I know, and a few fish people as well! This big ol’ bag on my back you’ve been nagging me about has everything we’ll need! Well, except the fish. You’re going to have to catch a few of those.”

“Scar! Fishing in this spot isn’t even very good and you know it, if you needed fish, why wouldn’t you bring any.”

“Forgot.”

There was a small silence before the two humans burst into the clearing, climbing through the path they’d ended up making through the brush by walking through so many times. Mumbo surfaced to greet them, though they were still preoccupied with each other.

“Of course,” Grian groaned, sighing as he threw down his bag, “Guess I’ll get to it then.”

“That’s the spirit!” Scar beamed, patting the other human hard on the back, who made a soft oof sound before scuttling away, moving to hide its face from Scar as it turned a reddish color. Odd. Usually Grian would yell at Scar for doing something like that, rightfully so (Mumbo still didn’t understand why Scar would randomly hit his friend), but instead Grian was far more meek. Had something happened? Maybe since Scar was hurt, Grian was taking a more passive role than normal. Mermaids were gentler with sick friends as well, and Mumbo knew quite well he could get away with more when he was unwell.

But it was good to see Scar looking healthy. His shoulder was still bandaged, visible under his shirt, but he couldn’t be feeling too badly given his bright demeanor, and his movement didn’t seem to be impaired at all. Thank goodness.

If it was even possible, Scar brightened further when he spotted Mumbo, happily throwing off unnecessary clothes before hopping right into the water, showing absolutely zero signs of fear. Oh, that was a weight off Mumbo’s back; he didn’t even realize how worried he was about Scar being afraid of him until now, until Scar very clearly wasn’t. Good, good..

Mumbo met Scar in the shallows, deep enough that he could keep his tail from dragging on the sand, but shallow enough where he could navigate with his hands; he was in near constant pain even with a week to recover, and while slow, pulling himself along the bottom with his hands caused the least agony on his tail. His splint was sufficiently broken now, only getting more uncomfortable with every passing day. At this point, Mumbo was just waiting for it to fall off; trying to figure out how it was attached was far too painful, though he had tried briefly a couple of times (with little success).

“Hello, Mumbo!” Scar greeted him, “I’ve got something you’re going to like. I’m pretty sure you like human stuff, so you’ll get a kick out of this.” Scar held up a small silver object, round, but not quite circular. Mumbo moved to get a closer look, though he couldn’t lift himself very far out of the water, so Scar crouched down to get it closer. “Tape measure.”

Mumbo squinted. “What.”

“Tape measure.” Huh. Weird word. Usually human words weren’t that long, though, maybe Mumbo had only learned the shorter ones. Was this a human tool? Mumbo attempted to snatch it, but Scar was faster, jumping back with a surprised look on his face. On his perch, Grian laughed.

“I told you! I told you he’d try to take that, and you won’t be getting it back.”

“Well he can have it if he wants, but not before I’m done!” Scar huffed, then turned back to Mumbo, speaking sternly, “No.” Mumbo stared, unamused. He could have guessed Scar didn’t want him to have its human tool, that didn’t change the fact that he was going to take it.

“Scar,” he tried, reaching out a hand a little slower. Maybe it wouldn’t see? ‘Your human object. Give me.’ he continued in a whistle due to the lack of human words, but Scar only huffed, an incredulous smile across its face.

“No!” Scar repeated a tad more forcefully, but Mumbo could see the smile on his face, he knew well enough he could keep trying. Mumbo moved a little forward, hoping to get within reach, but Scar stepped back, then back again, rolling his eyes, “You’re going to make measuring you really difficult, Mumbo.”

“Yeah,” Grian said from across the way, a small laugh in his tone, “I’d say I’ve got plenty of time to catch something.”

“You will, but this is not the reason!” Scar yelled back, pointing an accusatory finger, but the smile never left Scar’s face, and soon his focus was squarely back on Mumbo (who definitely hadn’t tried to snatch at the device while it was distracted).

The tool made a soft whirring sound as Scar pulled on one end, a flat yellow line appearing from inside the device, then snapping back when Scar let go. Whoa. What was that? What was the purpose? Scar moved a little bit closer, pulling the yellow line further this time, but when Mumbo managed to touch it, the line snapped back into the silver device with a sharp crack. Huh. Was it alive? Maybe it was shy? It looked a little bit like a snail..

“What.” Mumbo said, hoping for more information, but Scar only put his hands on his hips, making a show of his annoyance.

“I can’t show you if you keep trying to take it from me!” Nonsense. Guess Mumbo would just have to take it to figure it out for himself.

The next thirty minutes was an odd dance of Scar struggling to keep his distance while also trying to line up the tape measure with Mumbo’s body, and Mumbo would be lying if he said he wasn’t enjoying the game. The tape measure hurt if it snapped back on Mumbo’s hand, but if anything, that only made the game more exciting. Even with the limited use of his tail, he found himself splashing far more than usual, a certain recklessness brought about only by play. He didn’t even want the tape measure anymore (lie), he just wanted to keep up the game. Scar did not like the game as much, less and less as more time passed, but Grian seemed amused at least, occasionally looking over to laugh when Scar stumbled or outright fell over.

“I could use a little help here if you don’t mind!” Scar called, and Grian laughed again, the sound coming out more like a cackle.

“I thought you had it handled? You kept insisting you were fine, what changed?”

“He just won’t stop moving! Listen, I’ve measured plenty of animals, but they don’t usually have hands! He’s being impossible- he knows I’m not trying to hurt him and he knows I need him to stay still and he’s just not listening! On purpose! This was supposed to be easy!”

“He looks like he’s having fun, I wouldn’t want to rain on his parade.”

“Grian! Help me!” Scar cut himself off with a yelp as Mumbo lunged for the tape measure, but he didn’t get far with his limited mobility, so Scar stepped easily out of reach. He was lucky Mumbo couldn’t use his tail, lucky. With another short laugh, Grian got up from where he was fishing, making his way gingerly off the rocks and giggling as he went before stepping into the water as well. Ah, so another challenger joins the fray!

Though, with Grian holding one side of the yellow line, Mumbo couldn’t quite grab at it anymore, the whole thing bending and snapping like it might break in two if Mumbo wasn’t careful. And that wouldn’t do, no no, how could he figure out its purpose if it was broken?

Instead, he stilled so he could watch instead- wow the line went out so far! How much could fit in there? How far could it go? Mumbo moved to follow the humans’ movement, but they seemed to want to pull the line the length of Mumbo’s tail, chirping nonsense to each other the entire time. At least Scar looked excited; it was always nice when Scar was happy, nice enough that Mumbo didn’t mind all that much that their game was effectively over. Mumbo didn’t love how close they were getting, but a small flash of his teeth was enough to get Grian’s attention, who communicated to Scar in Mumbo’s stead.

It wasn’t very long before the two of them were satisfied though, Grian easing the yellow line back into the tape measure. Mumbo took his chance, lunging as quickly as his impaired mobility would allow, but Scar surprised him by turning around instead of jumping away like normal. While Mumbo was scrambling to keep himself from running face first into Scar’s legs, the human tossed him the tape measure, the thing plopping heavily into the water. Mumbo gaped for a moment before grabbing it, but when he resurfaced, Scar was walking toward the shore, chatting away with Grian like the tape measure didn’t mean anything at all. Well.. okay.

No matter! Mumbo had a new toy, and first he wanted to know just how long this yellow line was. The answer was very long. Mumbo lodged one end under a rock and swam as far as the line would allow, and while he was quite impressed with the length, he was even more excited when he let go of the metal base, the whole thing shooting back in the other direction. Yes! Yes! Mumbo did the same thing at least seven more times before getting a little bored, then experimented with the tape measure above the water, where it snapped back much faster. The height of his fun was setting the end of the yellow line under a rock on the surface, bringing metal end to the other side of the cove, then letting go and watching the thing skirt across the water, splashing all the way. He was relatively sure he made some sort of trill or other noise in his excitement, as Scar and Grian’s laughing caught his attention. Mumbo cringed a little, suddenly very aware of their eyes on him, but his embarrassment was short lived, outweighed by the joy of funny human trinket.

Mumbo would have spent the rest of the day playing with the tape measure, but something else caught his eye. Scar was working on something- no, he was making something. Mumbo had never seen a human make something before- not in the way Mumbo liked to do! Scar’s creative process looked very similar as well, which is to say, all the materials he brought were strewn all over the grass, wildly unorganized as he fiddled with different parts. Most of his materials were long metal rods, but there were also some leather looking pieces, and what looked like parts of white tubing as well. What was he up to?

Mumbo shimmied as close to the shore as his tail would allow, hoping to grab Scar’s attention. “What. What. What,” he said in human, hoping the extra emphasis would translate through the repeated words.

Scar looked up, clearly amused, but seemed to struggle with explaining, starting and stopping speaking several times before settling with, “For you.” Not very helpful, and Scar knew it, making a couple of vague gestures at Mumbo before giving up and going back to his project. Well.. that was fine. Mumbo would just have to watch.

Scar was mostly focused on the leather piece, positioning it in a circular way and winding the metal through to create a cage-looking structure. The leather was adjustable too, Scar fiddling with a buckle on the front to make the entire thing wider or smaller. Mumbo was particularly fascinated by the white pieces though, much flatter than the rods, which Scar only weaved through one side. Why? He tried to ask again what the human was doing, but was only offered the same non-answer.

“Oh!” Grian made a surprised noise from his place on the rocks, and Mumbo saw his line tighten. If only he was fast enough to snag whatever was on it off the hook, but alas, Grian was already reeling in a decent sized fish. Scar hopped to his feet and Grian let out a celebratory noise of his own; it was so cute how humans got so excited about every catch. Though, in all fairness, Mumbo would have been quite chuffed catching a fish that size, especially this hungry. Maybe if humans really didn’t eat the fish they caught, they’d be open to sharing.

Grian scooped the fish off the line with a net, maneuvering the hook out of its mouth before walking it back toward the shore to Scar, who cheered all the while.

“Right,” Grian said as he hit the sand, “You want to give this to him? I’m assuming you’re going to drug him or something.”

“That’s the plan. I was considering a tranquilizer, but I don’t want to make this experience traumatic or anything, and hauling a big ol’ rifle out here might put a damper on some of the trust we’ve established. Hopefully this way he’ll just be real relaxed, maybe even take a nice little nap.”

“You’re not trying to put him to sleep? What are you giving him?”

“Not necessarily, but I doubt he’ll be able to stay awake. Trust me when I say he won’t be in pain, definitely not. And I brought a cone, too, just in case he freaks. I came prepared, Grian, prepared I tell you. I’m no large animal vet, but you could say I’ve been quite involved in many a procedure.”

“Scar, what are you giving him?”

“Like.” Scar paused, tapping the smile on his lips, “A lot of morphine.”

“Morphine?”

“Works on fish. Mumbo’s big, he can handle it, and anyway, it’s the safest option for everyone involved. Are you worried about our friend, Grian?”

“I’m not- how did you even get morphine, Scar?”

“Scar’s not taking any more questions at this time, please call back later. In the meantime, hand me that fish so we can get this show on the road. I’ll stay with him as long as he needs me, but I’m not expecting anything to go wrong here. Still, the sooner we start, the better.” Scar got to his feet, taking the fish net from a gaping Grian and heading back to his bag. Mumbo couldn’t quite see what he was doing, but Grian followed quickly after, fretting the entire time. What, was something wrong with the fish? Scar didn’t seem to think so.

Maybe Grian hadn’t wanted Scar to give Mumbo his catch, but Scar did regardless. Mumbo was more than happy to accept the gift, only throwing Grian one mildly guilty look before devouring the whole thing. He didn’t feel very bad, not really; clearly the humans ate well enough, and given he was having a hard time hunting right now, this seemed fair.

Eating only served to brighten his mood, and with the slight weight off his chest, watching Scar continue working on his human device was all the more fun. Grian went back to fishing on his rock, but he was acting more anxious than normal, stealing glances toward Scar and Mumbo just about every time he cast his line. Though, it didn’t take very long for Mumbo to stop caring, far more intrigued by whatever Scar was up to. It was crazy how much better he was feeling; usually the joy of eating didn’t carry so far after a meal, but when Mumbo was this hungry..

And then it hit him; he wasn’t in pain. The lightness he was feeling was from the lack of hurting- oh that couldn’t be good. What kind of fish was that? He hadn’t even looked! Please say he hadn’t accidentally poisoned himself… Mumbo didn’t feel nauseous though. And if he’d poisoned himself, he imagined he’d be feeling a lot sicker. And he had so much energy! Anyone with this much energy wouldn’t be poisoned, that would be ridiculous! He should do something- go somewhere- hunt- he could do anything! … Nevermind.

Not in pain, no, but tired, goodness, maybe he was dying. Probably not. But maybe. Honestly, he didn’t care all that much. Scar was looking at him an awful lot now, though Mumbo wished he would focus on his invention instead so Mumbo could figure out what it was before he died. Hm.. It kind of looked a little bit like his splint, didn’t it?

…

The gentle touch of skin on scales. A presence around his neck, tight, mildly uncomfortable, but not enough for Mumbo to want to do anything about it. A crack, loud enough to frighten him, to open his eyes, but there was no pain, so it must not have been bone. Something was draped over his eyes, dark like home. It was nice. A couple of clicks told him of Forces, big and near and moving; he should probably swim away, but that’d be quite a bit of effort, wouldn’t it. Maybe another time.

His fins rose and fell with the presence and absence of touch. Not unpleasant. Not until they tried to lift him.

Pain like thorns lit his blood, everywhere, pain, pain- Some sort of noise escaped his throat, something animal, and he moved without coordination- it hurt, everything hurt now. Distantly he heard them, humans, why were humans here? Talking, they were talking nothing, repeating the same words again and again, “It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay.” Couldn’t they see he was in pain? Why weren’t they helping?

Too much time passed before his attackers released him, but wasn’t sitting in the water the same as before. It was awkward, unpleasant honestly, but he stopped struggling quickly. Too painful to move. Too much effort.

He wanted to curl up. Somewhere dark, somewhere enclosed and safe. Something hard stopped his movement. Guess that was that.

But maybe that was fine.

Whatever had been there was gone now. Nothing else was trying to hurt him. That was good. That was enough.

…

The humans were talking. They were loud, Mumbo could hear them, though his face burned just slightly, a dry feeling. Was he above the water? It didn’t much concern him.

“He’s still asleep, Scar.”

“That’s fine. Normal, even. He’s going to be fine; if he was going to have any bad reactions, I’m pretty sure we would have known by now. I’ve been keeping an eye on his breathing, and it’s stayed consistent this whole time. He’s okay.”

“You said four hours. It’s been five.”

“Yeah, for a human on a human dose. I also told you I don’t know exactly how it’ll work on a mermaid. I doubt anyone knows. I gave him quite a bit more than a human dose anyway, and I’m pretty sure he needed it. He was freaking out when we were trying to get the splint on.”

“I just don’t like the fact that we drugged him without being sure how he’d react.”

“I don’t know what else you wanted me to do, Grian. He was not going to let us touch him, and I don’t think there’s any world in which we could have explained what we were trying to accomplish. Tail injuries could be fatal for mermaids, we don’t know. How’s he supposed to eat if he can’t swim? It’s not like we can weigh him. This was the safest option.”

“You really think we couldn’t have explained it to him? He’s smart, Scar, he’s really observant.”

“I don’t know, I think there’s a chance. But what would happen if he got scared? Even a human might’ve panicked, even if they knew every detail about what we were doing. And you know how strong he is- I’ve still got bruises on my arms from where he grabbed me. He could have hurt himself or us completely by accident.”

A long silence. “I know.”

A longer silence.

“So when’d you change your tune?”

“What?”

“About Mumbo. Nearly every day two weeks ago you made sure to remind me how you were totally going to kill him and sell all his parts or whatever, but I haven’t heard a peep from you since Monday. Did you come out here without me and have some sorta spiritual experience or what?”

“I- no. Of course not. I’m still planning on doing that, I just decided I’d spare your feelings and stop talking about it.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yes! And anyway, with you paying me egregious prices for my fish, I’m not exactly hurting for money right now. So it’s fine. I’m not in any rush.”

“That’s good to know.”

“Stop- stop talking at me like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like you don’t believe me.”

“Well, Grian, that’s going to be a problem because you’re right, I don’t believe you.”

“I- how dare you! I am going to do it! I could do it right now even, but I won’t, and not because I don’t want to, but it wouldn’t be fair, not while he’s all drugged up.”

“I see.”

“Stop it!”

“I believe you, I believe you.”

“No you don’t!”

“Shhh,” Scar said, his voice dropping, “No fighting,” he trailed off, and the silence was charged with something new, something Mumbo picked up on even in his half-asleep state.

“No fighting,” Grian repeated softly, “He wouldn’t like that.”

“Mm,” Scar acknowledged him quietly, but spoke no more words, and neither did Grian. That, or Mumbo had just fallen asleep again. Possible, all things considered. That was okay.

[notjanine]

another casual party over the weekend.

i pick them up from work so we can go together. the temperature’s dropped, so i’ve brought their coat- after i filled the pockets with snacks because they’ve been working all day and i’m not sure there’ll be food at the party.

after we get there, i realize that i didn’t time my meds and caffeine correctly and i am notttt in the mood. i just chill out in the loudest corner, by the music, and read pubmed articles on my phone. there aren’t enough cups, so one guy volunteers to run to the store and Books goes with. they bring me back some cold brew—black, no sweetener—exactly what i need. they have fun and catch up with their friends while i spend most of the evening reading about traumatic brain injuries and olfactory dysfunction and trigeminal nerve stimulation (electrical AND chemosensory!), sipping bitter dark coffee from my red solo cup. they check in with me periodically, bring me a big soft chocolate chip cookie when i need a hit of sugar, sit with me when they want a quiet moment.

they get a little wine drunk and it’s very cute. i drive us home. we stay up way too late so we can enjoy some alone time together. everything is warm and i’m in love

i’ll stop talking about this mf eventually but like okay. i hate being taken care of. 99% of the time, i HATE being taken care of. but i am also not naturally skilled at social stuff, like i’ve learned and i can do it and i’m good at it now, but—iiiii hate to admit it—but i’ve always wanted to be with someone who can like. take the driver’s seat, socially. and Bookstore just knows exactly how to shine the spotlight on me in a group setting. sometimes i get so overwhelmed taking everything in that i forget to talk even when i have relevant things to add! but they know just when to say Oh al said/did/made me watch/read/listen to xyz, and then give me the space to elaborate. or they’ll be more subtle and say like [Nearby person who likes something i like], have you seen/do you know about [specific thing they know i love] and it’s. gosh it’s really nice. also they are very big and warm. gosh

[moonysreid]

being the youngest dimitrescu

just a few lil headcanons to get me back into things after being sick

if you can’t tell when reading this.. i’ve been hyperfixating so i got carried away

• being absolutely coddled

alcina is very overprotective with all of her daughters but it just seems to be next level with you, especially when she finds you shivering in the library (there has to be a fire constantly running in there now)

• pretty much everyone but mother miranda thinks you’re adorable - karl would never admit that fact to anyone though

• having a love hate relationship with dani in the beginning

daniela didn’t like the prospect of no longer being the youngest child, but once she met you she learnt that you were the only one that would play with her whenever she wanted to

• the maids somewhat tolerating you

you aren’t like cassandra or dani when it comes to the maids - you don’t see them as toys to torture and gut when you’re bored

if you were to ask a maid to describe you they’d probably say you’re curious because they’ll often find you in random tunnels/rooms - when you find a new area they have to tell head-maid so that’ll the area is kept warm enough

the many many questions you ask them do tend to get on their nerves but, still, the maids would rather be on duty to you than to your sisters

• your aunt is probably your biggest admirer

donna absolutely adores you!!

you visit her often when the weather is on the warmer side - the both of you tend to the garden (you end up always bringing home a bouquet for your mother which she treasures more than she would an ordinary bouquet)

it probably helps that you and angie get on like a house on fire… or a kitchen on fire because that has definitely happened when the two of you are left alone

• in the eyes of mother miranda you’re just another failed experiment that she can dump with alcina

but of course alcina loves you as if you were her biological daughter, just like bela, cass and dani

• chasing men around the castle for fun

when alci wants just a few moments of peace and quiet - away from your constant presence at her side - she lets a man thing run around for you to chase

of course the man is never of full strength, they’re always somewhat crippled - because your mother doesn’t want to cause any of her daughters harm with that kind of threat

• karl would often create vessels to keep you occupied

if everything he created tried to hurt you though he would immediately destroy it

• sitting with moreau at the lake

not many people visit him, so you like to take it upon yourself to help him feel less lonely

• taunting the scarecrows that are dotted around the village

seeing as miranda often turn men into scarecrows there were many that littered the place. you don’t care much for the men so it’s always a bit of fun to taunt them and you skip past

[chaoticstarlightwonderland]

Kuzuhina love pollen/schmexy despair disease aftermath

So a common trope we’ve all seen before is some sort of aphrodisiac/love pollen/sexy despair disease infecting our beloved sdr2 cast. I want to skip the fun stuff and talk about the consequences.

Hajime and Fuyuhiko are with each other when it happens (i’ll say this take place during chapter 3) and it causes them to get all hot and flustered and the two start making out (and more~)

((sorry I don’t know how much I can say without getting banned from tumblr))

But what about the aftermath. It would be hard to go back to normal after spontaneously having sleeping with each other. And we’re talking about Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu here! The man who stabbed himself in the stomach as a form of apology. Obviously that didn’t work out the last time, but he has to do SOMETHING…

Fuyuhiko disappears for few hours if there are still sick people or a murder to investigate, a few days if it’s free time. Hajime is too much of a tsundere to analyse why it bothers him so much being left alone afterwards. Hajime is not at all self-conscious about his body, about how Fuyuhiko felt about it. If Fuyuhiko was disgusted by having to get physical with Hajime, or if Hajime was generally unpleasant at all. Hajime is not thinking about that at all no sir.

Fuyuhiko returns and the first thing he says to Hajime is “I’ve come to take responsibility as a Kuzuryuu and as a man!!” And pops out an engagement ring. The tiny mobster bows but doesn’t get on his knees cuz he doesn’t want to appear any shorter than he already is. The engagement ring itself is either something nice he got from Monomi/Chiaki through their ‘digital powers’ or if failing that, a ring pop from the store because that was the best he could find.

Hajime’s jaw drops to the floor. There are so many concerns on his mind. Responsibility? Is that really necessary? Yes Hajime wanted to talk to Fuyuhiko about it but marriage was the last thing on his mind. What would Hajime tell his parents? How would Fuyuhiko’s parents react to this? They’re still on an island in a killing game with no way out and Fuyuhiko’s top priority is setting up a shotgun wedding???

Hajime is feeling a mixture of embarrassment, surprise, and little bit of offence since it comes across like Fuyuhiko is worried that Hajime has become “spoiled goods”. It’s not Fuyuhiko’s intention, his behaviour around this is a product of his upbringing. Hajime tries to refuse but Fuyuhiko won’t stand for it, he must restore both their honours at all cost.

Bonus: if this all happens in front of the remain students. If Ibuki is still alive she would be most excited and immediately offer to sing at their wedding. Kazuichi but be jealous that Hajime not only got laid but is also getting married (despite Hajime’s protests otherwise). Gundham might be disappointed that Fuyuhiko did not put more poetry, theatrics, gravitas into the proposal. Nagito is admiring Fuyuhiko’s conviction (though considering Nagito’s crush is kinda canon there’s definitely some mixed feelings here). Now SOMEONE, I don’t know who, maybe Sonia, maybe Ibuki, who knows, will probably theorise out loud that Fuyuhiko was the top during the two’s ‘relations’ and that’s why the blonde yakuza is taking his ‘manly role’ so seriously. Both Hajime and Fuyuhiko tell the person to shut up but don’t really refute it nyehehehehe.

And that’s all I got right before I go to bed. Enjoy this pre-sleep madness.

[vivianbernadetteaurora]

The Kennedys

Almost as we go back in time, in the beginning, the Kennedys were like the American Royal family, and we praise and liked by a lot of people, they had this liking and following, they obviously also had the other side, this happens with politics all time and we’re always given a certain agenda.

So I think you have to go do your own research, and find something in between the narrative you can see both, in one saying which I like to say is two things can be true. So what I wanted to talk about was the Kennedy curse.

The Kennedys were a big family who grew up in around Long Island, and the East coast of America, Jack Kennedy had a few sisters, one of which could rosemary, who then you could not be any sort of crazy, and it was all sort of branded is the same kind of, they were either schizophrenic or hysterical, hysteria.

Where is there is more labels which is a good and bad thing, but I think more of a good thing because, things get treated for different ways, if I’m being honest, a lot of mental health has not improved as well. Help with your mental health seems to be really hard.. Rosemary Rosemary, not acting how a Kennedy should, she skipping school, meeting with boys, and just doing normal teenage things. You’d probably call her nowadays, autistic or BPD.. but nothing out of the ordinary. anyway the father secretly has his daughter a lobotomised and this is another sad fact, ladies is 80% of lobotomy patience were women. so the evil dad gets her lobotomised for these behaviours that weren’t even that you know, for that time, maybe for that class also.

Anyway, he keeps it a secret from the family  years later to come ! But they talk about the Kennedy curse , two of the Kennedys , died in praying crashes along with JFK’s son his mother didn’t want him to die and wish was for him not to get on an aeroplane of course , like every other story . They must have deep family trauma that didn’t get solved in their lifetime ,,,,, and then two of the brothers to get assassinated . So this thing is real .

So as per usual lobotomy failed of course . And then the family didn’t visit her from many years later and until because I were kept in it it was kept a secret even the mum didn’t know .

But they were all about keeping up appearances , and very popular in there , establishment , and obviously . I can’t even imagine how the mum must’ve felt like where has my, the same time I’m thinking and I’m bombastically side eyeing the mum, she must’ve known. unless he said I’ve sent her off to a camp and only I can talk to her because that’s what those generations were like back then.😭🧐🤨😫 poor rosemary though, I hope she had a better life in a care home. Then around those sick fucks.

Then JFK Junior, he had a tumultuous relationship with his lady friend, were on an off for many years, soulmate kind of relationship, like very heavy karmic, which led them both, being killed in a plane crash, with him his wife and her sister. I even think how good-looking JFK Junior is when his parents weren’t that good looking, but he got the. Best Both of them. But their relationship was very erratic and they have arguments in the street and he have his dog and his bike..

[verslxt]

sick days ~ r. suna

yo yo yo! it’s me again 🤪. anyways…i’ll probably do a poll for each fic i write, probably. unless i have an idea and i already have a character for it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

rintarou suna ~ inarizaki 3rd year, been dating y/n since 1st year, won prom king with her a few days ago. middle blocker in volleyball

y/n ojiro ~ arans little sister, dating suna since 1st year. ecstatic that she won prom queen because she doesn’t think she’s that pretty. currently sick in her bed

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

you laid back down after arans daily facetime. you got sick like sick sick. coughing, throwing up, and a fever of 103.5°

you saw a text pop up from suna

baby daddy 🥰

baby where are you?

you typed back

sick

~sunas pov~

baby momma 😍

sick

“how did she get sick so soon” atsumu looked over my shoulder at me and y/n’s texts

“man i don’t know” i said grabbing my bag. “make up and excuse for me! tell them i got sick with y/n”

i grabbed my keys and walked out. i got to my car and started it. while i waited for it to warm up i made a group

tsumu 😐, onigiri lover 😋, baby momma 😍, toshi

yo make up excuses for me. i’m going to y/n’s house

~y/n’s pov~

you felt your phone ding

dumbass 😶, baby daddy 🥰, onigiri lover 😐, toshi 🥱

baby daddy 🥰

make up excuses for me. i’m going to y/n’s house

i typed back

rin you really don’t have to

baby daddy 🥰

yes i do

a few minutes later you saw a slouched over 6’1 boy enter your room

“hi baby”

“tired”

“same”

you opened your arms and he took off his shirt and layer over top of you.

“if i run out of the room will you hold my hair while i throw up?”.

“baby.”

“yes”

“of course i would”

~time skip~

“y/n dear-“

your mom opened the door to see you and suna cuddled up together. she couldn’t help by think of her and your dad at that age

that’s when you woke up

“hi mommy”

“hi baby. you feeling any better”

“yea, but i may still need tomorrow of”

“okay, i got you a little something”

you sat up straight as your mom took out a book

“you’ve been wanting this book for a while now. and your grades are outstandingly good”

she placed the book ‘a girl in pieces’ in your lap

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

the next day you woke up to suna coughing. and coughing hard at that.

“baby are you okay?” you asked rubbing his back

“yea, i think i just caught whatever you did”

“you want anything?”

“a shower”

you got up and started the shower for him, he wrapped his arms around your waist.

“can you text the group chat”

“yea”

suna kissed your temple and took off the sweatshirt you gave him. it always amazed you seeing his abs.

you got out of your bathroom and grabbed your phone

personal chef 🫶🏽

do need to text sunas mom and tell her you and suna got sick

future motha in law ❤️

did you and rin get sick? do i need to call the school?

you typed back

my child 😶

me and rin are now sick, sunas mom already knows

future dautha in law ❤️

me and rinnie are sick, but we’re getting over it slowly but surely. he is in the shower currently, i’m going to make him some breakfast

the better suna 🤪

gurl did my brother get himself sick

the better ojiro 🤪

lmao yep

you went downstairs and went into your kitchen

“hey alexa play maneater”

“playing maneater and similar songs”

“take it back, take it back”

you smiled as you grabbed out a pan. that’s when you felt two hands snake around your waist

“yes rinnie”

“a maneater kinda mood i see i see”

you giggled at sunas comment

“hey you have a notification on your phone”

“oh tell me who it is”

“the better suna”

“omg rin that’s your sister”

you opened your phone suna hunched over his head in the crook of your neck

the better suna 🤪

this boy is OBSESSED with you gurl

“she’s not wrong. first thing she’s ever been right about”

you laughed as suna kissed you

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

sorry, this is literally so bad!!! but i’ve been working on it all week. anyways you guys prob don't know what the contact names are, so i'm just gunna give you a run down of them

personal chef-momma ojiro

future motha in law ❤️-momma suna

the better suna 🤪-reiko suna

baby daddy-suna

baby momma, my child, the better ojiro, future daugha in law-y/n

[warriorbard2012]

Heey! Have you done 26. "Helping them build their confidence before an important meeting"? If not, may I request Vaxleth? Thank you :D

Hi Raven! Thank you very much for the prompt! I hope I did it justice! These two cuties are becoming one of my favorite ships to write for!

(A/N: This story is part of an AU I'm calling the Vax Lives verse, where Scanlan manages to use his wish spell to prevent the RQ from taking Vax at the end of C1. He and Keyleth are now happily married and are living in Zephrah.

Also, There is a trigger warning on this one for a mention of a miscarriage. No graphic detail is given, but it is mentioned. Feel free to skip this one if you need to.) 

“Breathe,” Vax gently took Keyleth’s hand. “Breathe with me.” She squeezed it heavily, which hurt a little, but he didn’t care. “Everything’s okay.” He gently casts Lay on Hands to try and get rid of the sick feeling in her gut.

It must have worked because Keyleth finally took a breath, and then she leaned forward and rested her forehead against his shoulder. “Ugh. This sucks.”

He let go of her hand to rub her back, ignoring the smell of sickness in the air. He hated this too. He hated when she was sick. But this… this was something that she couldn’t avoid. She just had to endure it, and he vowed to be right there with her doing whatever he could to help her feel better. 

“I know, love. Just a few more months, and hopefully, things will settle.” He kissed her hair and continued to rub her back.

“We are late. I hope Dad isn’t going to be too upset.” Keyleth said, her words still muffled into his shoulder.

Vax chuckled. “Considering the whole point of us having dinner is to tell him you are pregnant, I hope not.”

Keyleth signed and pulled away. “Is it too soon? I don’t want to get his hopes up.”

Vax’s smile faded and he gently pulled her with him into the window seat of their bedroom and sat her in his lap to hold her close. He put his hand on her belly. He could barely feel the bump where their child was slowly growing. Everything seemed fine so far, but so had the other pregnancy.  His memories went to the child they had lost before, and he said a prayer for them. He knew that miscarriages happen sometimes, but that knowledge didn’t take away the pain.

“That’s up to you, Kiki. I support you, and if you don't want to tell him yet then we won't.”

Keyleth sighed. “It seems stupid, but I’m worried that he’s going to be disappointed.”

“Why?” Vax asked softly, gently running his fingers through her short red hair.”Disappointed that we lost a child, or disappointed that we tried again so soon?” He was a bit confused.

“I don’t know,” Keyleth replied softly. She hesitated for a moment, gathering her thoughts, and then continued. “Maybe it’s just me, and I’m projecting.” She sighed. “I’m just excited, worried, hopeful, and scared all at the same time and I don’t know how to feel.

Vax nodded his head, understanding all of that as well. He gently kissed the back of her neck and held her just a little bit tighter.

“Well, the only way to find out is to tell him and see what he says. And for the record, I feel the same way, love. I’m worried about you and the baby, but yet I’m so excited that I could shout. I don’t want this one to end in disappointment and sadness, but some things are out of our control or understanding. No matter what I will be right here by your side, loving you through it all for as long as I can.”

Keyleth turned slightly to kiss him on the lips; then, she hugged him. “I love you. How do always know what to say to make me feel better?”

He grinned and gently teased her bottom lip between his before letting go. “Because I know you and I love you. I’ve devoted the rest of my days to making you happy. It’s my one goal in life.”

Keyleth found herself blushing even after the years they had shared. “Such a poet, my love. Careful, you will make Scanlan jealous.”

They shared a laugh, and then, after a few moments of resting, Keyleth stood up. She turned and held out her hand to Vax. “Well, I’m ready. Thank you.”

Vax allowed her to help him up, and then he squeezed her hand before letting go. “No thanks needed, Kiki.” He nudged her hip gently with hers. “It’s my honor, truly.”

She nudged him back. She bent down to reach for her bag, but Vax grabbed it first.

“Hey.”

“This is my honor too. It’s part of my duties as a husband. I’m the official bag carrier.”

Keyleth snorted. “Dork.” Then she put her arm in his, and together they made their way towards her father’s cottage.

Edit: 6/2/23 This has now been posted on AO3! You can find the link here!

[rhythmic-idealist]

Hi, everyone in the apartment is extremely beat.

[gross warning, skip the next paragraph if you’d rather not see it]

Here is some filler okay I threw up in the first hour of my shift today and had to finish the shift bc I’m full up on attendance strike “points.” Definitely not well enough to snag the OT I was gonna snag this weekend, but I’ll be good by Monday.

My laptop is broken because it fell off a table (completely my doing). This is livable, but making me sad because I was otherwise going to have an AMV finished by now, and I’m without my favorite low-stress hobby.

We have groceries but we’re all sometimes too goddamn tired to cook and occasionally ordering in, everyone else in this house is chronically ill and/or physically disabled, we’re all spoonies. I have to register my car so the cops don’t pull me over for being a year overdue. I’ve gotta get my control arm bushings replaced, and I haven’t done suspension work before so I don’t trust myself to do it myself. And, due to the age of Kitkat’s CRV despite the attentive care she took maintaining it, we’re down to my car as the only car.

I’m due for some doctors’ appointments— did something to my knee at work that is probably nothing (and yet I’d like to check in now instead of signing up for knee problems for the rest of my life). Chronic headaches that I’ve had all my life need to be addressed bc of how much harder they’re making the rest of my life.

So, this is an e-begging post, if you’re able. We Will Be Fine. My and my polycule’s parents won’t let us go homeless or hungry. This is…. if you like me and would like to make life nicer?

I’d like my hobby back (via laptop repair), and I’d like to be less sick at work which probably means less time cooking and more time to sleep & make some overdue doctors’ appointments abt my headaches and whether I messed up my knee.

My parents did send us some money recently & bought my plane tickets to visit home. They’ve got three kids to work out for and themselves as they get older— I’m not in any place to start putting aside money to help them out yet, though I am working hard to one day.

They would give me money for doctors’ appointments if I told them I needed it. I do however think they would not actually have the money to do that and be alright themselves, and so I don’t intend to ask unless shit gets very fucked.

And finally, I’m paycheck to paycheck and really, really want a medical emergency fund. But yknow. This post isn’t gonna make THAT happen. This is some short term “is anyone able to help me unfuck the next two weeks?” and then I’ll be healthier and more on target.

Thank you so much — and seriously, We Will Be Okay. We will be fine. This is a little (huge, it means very very much to me) treat to me.

Maybe I’ll spend this on the laptop, maybe something more essential! But it all helps.

PayPal

ko-fi (which takes a cut, but is still very appreciated)

Okay thank you for the help. Basically the main thing this post will probably determine is whether I get laptop repair done within the next two months 💗 but you know. Will also determine how few cooking spoons I have to spend and how soon I can get my life in order

Thanks love you all

[angelasscribbles]

Irreparable Choices

Series: American Girl

Fandom: The Royal Romance

Pairing: Drake x Riley

Rating: MA

Warnings for this chapter: Mature themes, unplanned/unwanted pregnancy. Abortion discussed

Word Count: 2,710

A/N: This is a follow-up to Home for Christmas, which makes it technically a two-shot, not a one-shot. Full disclosure, I have another chapter written which makes it a three-shot well on its way to being another series. What the fuck is wrong with me, I don't need another series.

While the first one explored Riley and Liam's relationship and the ending of it, this one explores Riley and Drake's. This is complete AU, they are normal people living in north Texas. They grew up together and are now trying to navigate adult life and college, but having a hard time severing those ties.

Special shout out to @karahalloway for prereading this and encouraging me to actually post it.

My other stuff: Master List.

Drake Walker was living his dream.

He had left the bowling alley and gone to work for North Texas Auto Repair after finishing his first year of automotive technology classes at the local community college.

He had just started the last semester of his degree program and already had a solid offer of full-time employment from the owner of the auto shop. The guy had given him the part-time job as an apprentice mechanic as a favor to his father, but the offer of a full-time position as a certified automotive technician had been extended because he was good with cars, reliable, and worked his ass off.

Drake had a plan and so far things were right on track.

The only thing missing was her.

“Hey, kid! Walker!”

Drake looked up from under the hood of a 1972 Dodge Charger at the sound of his name.

His boss gestured toward the bay doors of the auto shop, “You have a visitor.”

Drake’s eyes followed the gesture and his heart skipped a beat. He quickly wiped his hands clean and hurried over to her, “Riley? What are you doing here?”

“I need to talk to you.” She chewed her lip nervously.

“Okay, yeah,” he knew something was wrong because it was the middle of January and she was supposed to be at school in California.

“Hey, Bas!” He called across the bay to his boss, “Mind if I take off early tonight?”

“Sure, kid, just don’t make a habit of it.” Bastien didn’t actually mind. It was only thirty minutes early and Drake had never called in sick, asked for a day off or so much as been late in the nine months he’d worked there.

“I won’t!” Drake called over his shoulder as he ushed Riley from the open-air bay into the heated office, “What are you doing here? What’s wrong?”

She shook her head, “I need to talk to you in private!”

Drake glanced at the woman behind the counter, “Meg, would it be all right if we used the break room for a little bit?”

“Sure, no one else is going to need it again today. It’s almost closing time.”

“Thank you, you’re the best!” He told her as he pulled Riley down a hallway and through the breakroom door.

He closed the door behind them then turned to Riley in concern, “Okay, what is it? What’s wrong? Spill!”

Riley paced across the room, twisting her hair around a finger as her mind whirled with all the different variations she’d rehearsed inside her head over the last few days. Finally, she simply blurted out, “I’m pregnant!”

He froze as he struggled to process her words, “Are you sure?”

Frustration pinged through her, “I didn’t just drive for two days across four states on a fucking whim, Drake! I’ve taken six tests! I’m sure!”

“I thought you were on the pill!”

“I was! It obviously failed!”

He slid a hand down his face, “Shit…”

“Yeah, shit!” She agreed.

“Don’t take this the wrong way but…is it mine?”

“Yes, Drake, it’s yours! Again, why the fuck else do you think I drove across four states to get to you?”

“Moral support,” he replied instantly, “which I would give either way.”

“I know it’s yours because I had my period right before I came home for Christmas and I haven’t been with anyone else since and-“

He held his hands up in front of him, “Hey, hey, hey! I believe you! You don’t have to convince me!”

“Are you sure? Because-“

“I’m sure!” he asserted, his voice going softer, “I know you wouldn’t lie to me about something like that.”

“Okay, good,” her anger quelled but she was still in panic mode, “because my whole fucking life is falling apart right now and I don’t know what to do!”

“Okay, okay, it’s going to be okay!” He started pacing as he ran a hand through his hair, his mind spinning looking for solutions.

“How? How the fuck is this going to be okay?” her voice trembled.

He stopped pacing and turned to face her, “I can increase my hours here, or get a second job, I could easily go back to the bowling alley! You could move back home and have the baby!”

“Where are we going to live? Your parent’s garage?” she scoffed.

He held a finger up, “First of all, it’s not a garage anymore, it was converted into a second master suite and it has its own entrance so that is a valid option,” he held up another finger, “Second, I’m only living there while I’m in school so I don’t have to work full time, but I could!”

“Working full time would interfere with your schoolwork, I can’t ask you-“

“You’re not asking, I’m telling you that I only live at home to save money, but-“

“Right, because we’re both broke ass college students, what’s your point?”

“My point is, I can take care of you, Riley!” So many different emotions flooded into his chest that he could barely breathe. But nothing in him wanted to run away from this. From her.

“I’m not asking you to take care of me, Drake and I can’t just drop out of school!”

“Why not?”

“Why not?” she glared at him, “Because if I miss a semester, I’ll lose my scholarship, and if I lose my scholarship I lose my only chance to go to college and get a degree, that’s why not!”

“You don’t need it!” his voice rose, “I’m graduating in three months and I have a full-time job waiting for me here making good money!”

“Drake-“

“I mean it, Riley! My starting salary is almost as much as my dad is making now after twenty-five years on the force!”

“I know, Drake but I don’t want to depend on someone else’s salary!” Angry tears stung her eyes, “I want to finish my degree! I want a career of my own! I want to do things, travel, see the world a little before I settle down!”

“You can still do all those things!” He yelled.

“How?” She yelled back.

He stared into the face of the girl that held his heart in her hands, wondering how she seemed to be so oblivious to that fact.

He drew in a deep breath and tried for calm and reasonable as he said, “You can still follow all your dreams, Riley. They’ll just be delayed a little, that’s all! We can get married, have the baby and when you’re ready, you can enroll in a school closer to home.”

“School costs money-“

“I’ll pay for it!” He insisted.

“We’ve never even talked about a future together, Drake! Marriage…kids…. I don’t even know if you want that! Hell, I don’t even know if I want that! And we sure as hell shouldn’t be getting married just because I got knocked up! That’s no basis for a lasting relationship!”

“Lasting relationship?” he stared at her incredulously, “We’ve known each other our whole lives, Riley!”

“Yeah, as neighbors and friends!”

He was angry and shocked, “You think we’re just friends?”

His anger made her unsure, “Yeah, friends with benefits….”

His mouth fell open in disbelief, “Seriously?”

“Seriously what, Drake?” She exploded, “We get together over Christmas or spring break, hang out, get drunk, have sex, then go back to our respective lives! With very little communication in between, I might add! What am I supposed to think we’re doing here?”

All his resolve to remain calm and collected flew right out the window at that complete mischaracterization of their relationship, “It’s not my fault you spent last summer in fucking Europe with that study abroad program! And don’t think I don’t know that Liam was in Italy at the same time as you!”

“What’s your point?” She snapped.

“My point is that Christmas and spring break aren’t the only times that I bother to see you, they’re the only times that I get to see you, Riley, and I look forward to both of them all year long! Or have you forgotten that I drove all the way to fucking California to spend spring break with you last year?”

“You’re right, I’m sorry,” she relented. Dropping onto the black faux leather couch in the corner of the breakroom she let her head fall into her hands, “I’m just spiraling right now. I know you’re trying to help but we don’t have an actual relationship, Drake. We’re not officially dating, we’ve never discussed a future together and this certainly wasn’t planned!”

His jaw clenched as he considered her words. Nothing she said was untrue. They hadn’t discussed a future together, and they weren’t a couple, but he was in love with her.

Not that he’d ever told her that.

He crossed the room as he spoke, “All of that is true and if you don’t want to have this baby, then I’ll support you but…”

She lifted her head to look at him, “But?”

“But I don’t want you to make a decision without all the facts.” He sat down next to her with a sigh as he skimmed a hand through his hair before confessing, “I’ve never brought up the future or asked you to be official because I’m afraid of the answer.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean…You've been very clear about wanting to be free to immerse yourself in the college experience and all the commensurate shenanigans that entails.”

“That was actually Liam’s idea,” she reminded him with a slight smile.

He bumped his shoulder into hers gently, “Yeah, well, you seem to have fully and enthusiastically embraced the concept.”

A small laugh escaped her, “Thanks in part to you.”

“What?” Surprise pulled through him.

“I was heartbroken when he broke up with me you know.” She shifted so her body was facing his.

“I remember…” he unconsciously turned his body a little more toward her.

She placed a hand on his arm, “You helped me through that! If not for you I’d probably still be sulking about it.”

“Great. I was your rebound guy. I knew it!” He joked.

“Ha ha, but yes, you really were. You made me feel something again.” She dropped her hand from his arm and started to turn away.

He reached out and grabbed her hand in both of his, “I’m glad I was able to be there for you, but that’s the other reason I haven’t brought up the future…”

Her eyes searched his, “What do you mean?”

“I mean…I know you’re not over Liam. I know you two still have unfinished business and I know you’ve been with other guys in California,” he released her hand and looked away as he admitted, “I… I didn’t think you wanted anything official, or to talk about a future with me.”

Riley was stunned, “Are you saying you do?”

He shrugged as he met her eyes quickly then looked away again, “Yes, Riley, I do. But I didn’t want to push you. I want kids someday. This is sooner than expected, and if it was any other girl, I’d probably be freaking out right now, but the idea of raising a baby with you isn’t the worst one in the world.”

She felt an unexpected frisson of jealousy coil around her heart, “But there are other girls.”

He turned his gaze back to her with a disbelieving shake of his head, “That’s the part you want to focus on right now? Yes, there have been other girls! Are you telling me you haven’t slept with anyone at Berkeley?”

Her eyes dropped to her lap. She didn’t answer.

“That’s what I thought. But listen,” he put a finger under her chin and tipped her head up, “those girls are friends with benefits. You are so much more to me than that! If you want to have this baby, then I am all in! I’ll do whatever you need me to do to support that, including marrying you and it won’t be just because of the baby. I’ve wanted to marry you since preschool. Remember?”

She laughed as she leaned into him, “You proposed with a ring pop!”

“Damn right I did!” he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer, “It was cherry too, my favorite! I gave you my favorite flavor ring pop, Riley. If that’s not love, I don’t know what is!”

She let herself relax into his embrace, “I’m sorry if I’m being a raging bitch but-“

“You’re fine. I get it. It’s a lot to take in.”

“You may be willing to sacrifice your grades and future, but I’m not. I can’t let you do that for me.”

“It wouldn’t be for you, baby, it would be for us!” His grip around her tightened.

The intensity of emotion in his voice both thrilled and terrified her.

She wasn’t ready.

For any of it.

“I’m sorry, Drake,” she whispered, “I can’t.”

He went completely still for a moment, “Are you sure? Have you thought through every consideration?”

“I’ve had nothing but time to think while I drove across the country.”

His head fell back against the wall as relief and disappointment both crashed through him, “Okay.”

“Okay? You don’t hate me for it?” she asked as her fingers fidgeted with the placket of his shirt.

“I could never hate you,” he leaned forward to place a soft kiss on the top of her head, “for any reason.”

“Okay, good,” her voice hitched a little as tears pooled in her eyes, “I’ll make the appointment when I get back to Berkeley.”

He swallowed back his own tears as he stroked her hair, “Okay. Just tell me when and I’ll be there.”

“What?” She pulled away from him startled, “Oh, no, you don’t have to-“

He shook his head as he reached for her and pulled her back into his chest, “Yes, I do! You didn’t get into this situation alone and you’re not going to deal with the repercussions alone, okay?”

Fresh tears flooded her eyes, this time from relief, gratitude, and the overwhelming feeling of being loved when she felt completely unlovable. She nodded her head, “Okay, I’ll let you know.”

“Good.”

They held each other for a while in silence as they each tried to process the enormity of the situation.

When he finally spoke, his voice was light, his tone teasing, “So, did you drive across four states just to tell me that you don’t want to marry me?”

She laughed through her tears, as she looked up at him, “Stop it!”

He smiled sadly as he wiped the wetness from her cheeks, “Come on, Brooks. Let me buy you dinner and get you home. You must be exhausted.”

“I…can’t go home. What will I tell my parents about why I drove all the way here just to turn around and drive back?”

She hadn’t wanted to tell him on the phone. She had needed to see him, needed to confide in the only other person this affected.

“Okay, leave your car here. We’ll pull it around back, no one will see it. You can come home with me. No one ever comes in my room. You’ll get a good night’s sleep and I’ll take you to breakfast before you head back.”

She knew in that moment that she’d been right to come.

He always made everything better. From scraped knees in preschool to beating up her fifth-grade bully to helping her pick up the broken pieces of her heart after graduation.

“That sounds good, Drake. Thank you… for everything.”

“I don’t know what the hell I did except get you into this predicament,” he scoffed, “but you know I always have your back, right?”

“We got into this predicament together,” she corrected him, “But yeah, I do know, so thank you.”

“Come on,” he stood up and held his hand out to her, “the least I can do is feed you.”

The feel of his hand clasped around hers calmed the raging anxiety that had been gnawing at her since she first suspected she might be pregnant.

She followed him out of the breakroom and out of the shop, hand in hand, feeling more at peace than she had in days.

[makemeanangelpure]

🩵May 30, 2024 - 113.0

🪽Day 1 of the 442 hour liquid fast

🤍I’m 13.5 hours in, 428 hours to go

☕️Today’s Cal limit: 140

I slept roughly 2 hours. Trouble falling asleep, waking up to pee every hour or thirty minutes and needing a minuscule sip of water. A little tired now but I’ll have my 5 hour energy and finish my 50 cal of coffee and go into a 7.5 hour shift. Truck day, so essentially 3 hours of cardio/weight lifting for me and 5 hours of on my feet slight lifting and reviving material. I’ll burn a good amount of extra calories today and tomorrow though, no truck then just the repackaging, maybe a few heavier things to haul around. I’m going to have one stall of celery when I get home. I’ll wait to have it at 7:42 pm where my partner can witness, alongside 2 baby carrots. That’ll put me at 75 cal for the day, and I get home around 1:30, so ill have a cup of tea while I wait for time to go, run the dishwasher and restock that, bath and shower, maybe wait to shave Thursday. Yesterday I drank a hard mike and a hard peach tea, ate a few things, threw up beforehand. Ended at 775. After I drank I didn’t have an urge to eat which is unusual but I’m assuming because I took medicine. It’s for adhd, not mine but I took it because I’d been thinking about it, thinking I might take one once a week and they’d never notice, just so I won’t get hungry. They’ve been taking it a few days and have been barely eating, I ate more than then the past two days and wanted to wring my own neck. They keep telling me about items of clothing getting looser, about our friends telling them they look like they lost weight, and they have, they do look different than a few months back. They’re taller than me and we’re in the 200-210 range and are now 189-199 and when you’re bigger, it comes off faster, it’s more noticeable. Really said something that messed with me yesterday.. and it was ignorance.. that if 10 pounds on me wasn’t that much different to them why would 10 more pounds be.. which they’ve seen pictures of me when I was 15-20 pounds lighter, they just haven’t been around me like that. I was heavier.. 10 pounds heavier than I am now when I started living here last year and if they don’t notice how I’ve dropped weight and my fucking face isn’t so round after just 10 pounds, I’ll just have to make them see and if anything they’ll feel a difference when they lift me up. Always picking me up around the house and carrying me places, jostling me but I want it to be easier. I want to hear them say that I feel lighter in some kind of form or fashion. The goal is to be 20 pounds lighter by June 28 so I’d be 93 which would break my old low weight:94, from 3 fucking years ago now. A baby shower on the 22 to go to so by then I’m going to try to be 97 for. The mother is someone who always copied me in highschool, and afterward and I just want her to really see how different we are. I also want to be the thinnest at a friend group gathering and I want her nosey mother to gossip to the others about how “ sick” I look. I want to eat a piece of cake with them and have it look seamless for me, because I’ll have worked hard to not worry about 350 cal of sugar for a day or whatever. To eat a little of what is made, not finish my food or my cake, and throw a tiny bit away.. like a quarter I guess. On Friday I’ll weigh and measure my waist, on the 22 I’m measure everything and then again on the 28. I last weighed last Friday so I’m going off that. My period seemed to skip a month but it’s irregular anyhow. My partner said it’s cause I’m not eating enough but I beg to differ. A lot of my days have been 1000-2000 days the past few weeks. I think it’s stress related. By the 28th, I’m going to drink again. Get blush wine and have two cups to celebrate things being better and I’ll be smaller and feel more put together, feel prettier when we get kissy buzzy and cuddle up close. Saturday I’m making a favorite dinner for them… I’m going to pick the smallest chicken for myself, cut it in half and then cut it into ( I’ll figure out how many pieces) 7 pieces of course 44 for a bite, 313 roughly for the whole chicken. One bite cause it’s a 75 cal day. I know he’ll cut it for me and be sweet.

[hollywoodxwhore]

wanted - part 14

Colson x Original Female Character x Pete

Unedited because I'm lazy. Hopefully there aren't two many mistakes. This is a little different from other chapters. Colson pegs Pete. If it's not your thing, there's not too much plot you'll miss if you skip it. Enjoy!

Warnings/Content: Smut (18+), pegging, masturbation, talk of periods

And just like that, it’s become a thing.

We don’t have crazy, mind-blowing threesomes every single night by any means, but over the past few weeks, Pete has earned himself an open invitation to mine and Colson’s sex life, and he cashes in that invitation often. Not that I’m complaining, and neither is Colson. 

It’s the most fun I’ve ever had. 

I’m not sure what it all means, but I’m too happy to worry about it right now. We’re all happy, really, so I’m not going to risk doing anything to fuck it up. 

Colson is over at my apartment tonight, and I’m trying to write while he works on a song. Pete is coming over soon for some food and to see how the night unfolds. I’m trying not to worry about it, but my stomach hurts and so does my head. Plus, I’m super fatigued. I get up from the couch to get some ibuprofen and freeze when I feel it. Fuck. 

I groan and stomp to the bathroom like a toddler throwing a tantrum. 

“What?” Colson calls from the couch.

“I got my period!” I yell back, pouting as I shut myself in the bathroom to clean up. After changing my clothes, I return to the living room and slump onto the couch, pouting. Colson chuckles and sets his guitar down, beckoning for me to come snuggle. Still pouting, I do, plopping my head onto his shoulder.

Colson snickers. “Baby, it’s not a big deal,” he says. 

“Yes it is,” I groan. “Pete’s coming over.”

“I know,” Colson says, grinning against my forehead. “We’ll eat and hang out. Not everything needs to be about sex.”

I sigh dramatically. “But sex is fun,” I say, and Colson laughs. Just then, Pete texts us that he’s here and Colson gets up to let him in. 

Pete immediately looks at me with concern. “Are you sick?” he asks.

“No,” I pout.

“She got her period and she’s pouting like a little brat,” Colson says, and my cheeks flush in a way that isn’t totally unwelcome. 

“Aw,” Pete says. “Do you have a heating pad, Alex?”

I nod. “It’s in the hall closet.” Pete sets down the bag of food and goes to the closet. I glare at Colson. “You could be helping me instead of calling me a brat,” I say.

Colson laughs and rolls his eyes at me. “You like being called a brat,” he says quietly, eyes darkening just a little. 

“That’s beside the point,” I respond, shifting as my lower stomach reacts to his words and expression. I can’t have sex, so there’s no point in getting worked up about it.

Pete returns with my heating pad and a huge, cozy blanket. Colson props me against some pillows and Pete covers me with the blanket as Colson switches on the heating pad. I snuggle in, smiling. “You guys are too good to me,” I sigh. 

Colson and Pete look at each other and grin. “Anything for our girl,” Colson says, and the words seem to surprise him. He blinks and busies himself with unwrapping our dinner. Pete doesn’t seem to have a care in the world as he goes to retrieve some drinks from the fridge. 

We settle in with our dinner and watch a movie as we eat, not talking. I’m easily distracted, though, and my mind begins to wander from the movie. I glance at Pete, watching his jaw work as he chews his food, then glance at Colson, who looks beautiful just sitting there drinking a beer. 

“I have a question,” I blurt.

Both boys turn to look at me. “What’s up?” Pete asks.

“So, you know how you guys kiss sometimes?” I ask, hoping they don’t notice me blushing. 

Of course, Colson does, and he grazes his thumb over my cheek with a grin as he responds, “Yes.”

I swallow. “Have you…have you ever done anything else?”

“With each other?” Colson asks, looking over at Pete.

“Yeah,” I say, looking between them. 

“We haven’t, like, fucked,” Pete says with a shrug. “But yeah. We’ve done stuff.”

“Don’t be so elusive,” I say, turning to Colson, who I know has no filter and no shame.

“We’ve definitely given each other head before,” Colson says, “per a girl’s request.” 

I blink. “So…are you…?”

“Bi?” Colson says, then shrugs. “I don’t know. I don’t really like dudes except this one.” He grins at Pete and Pete looks shy as he picks up his beer. 

I turn to face the TV thoughtfully. Interesting. Very interesting. “Another question,” I say.

“Oh, god,” Colson says with a laugh. “Let us have it.”

“I guess it’s more of a request,” I say. Colson and Pete meet eyes and then both look at me. “I want to watch you guys fuck.”

Pete chokes on his beer, thumping his own chest as he coughs. “What?” he rasps.

I glance at Colson, who seems to be considering the idea. “Any preference on who pegs who?” he asks.

“Colson,” Pete says, still recovering from his choking fit. “Are you serious?”

“It’s what Alex wants,” Colson says with a shrug, then looks at me. “Will it turn you on, baby?” I nod, taking my lip between my teeth. Colson sees the look in my eyes and smirks. “That’s what I thought.”

“I mean, don’t do it if you’re not comfortable with it,” I say. 

Pete studies my face. “You really would be into that?” he asks, and I nod. He nods, too, slowly. “We’ve, uh, we’ve talked about it before,” he confesses.

“Really?” I ask.

Colson nods. “Yeah. We just never thought a girl would be into watching us,” he says. 

“I mean, I can’t do anything tonight, so I might as well watch something,” I say.

Pete swallows hard, looking at Colson. “I-I’m down,” he says quietly. 

Colson smirks. “Me too.” 

“Can we have a drink or two first?” Pete asks.

“Of course,” I say. “Col, go get that whiskey.”

Colson salutes me and goes to the kitchen to grab the bottle of whiskey we bought recently. He and Pete take turns taking shots from the bottle, and after a few minutes, I can feel the tension in the room thickening. Pete and Colson can’t stop looking at each other. It’s almost like I’ve disappeared, but I don’t mind at all. 

The movie continues to play quietly in the background and our food is long forgotten. I barely breathe as I watch Colson get to his feet and stand in front of Pete, who still sits on the couch. Colson grabs Pete’s collar and pulls him up slowly. Colson hovers about 2 inches taller than Pete, and the brunette tips his head up slightly to look into Colson’s eyes. Colson’s hand works its way into Pete’s hair and then he pulls Pete in for a deep kiss. 

A soft sound leaves me of its own volition. They’re both so gorgeous, standing there holding each other. Slowly, the kiss gets more intense, and both boys have ripped each other’s shirts off. Colson’s hands dip into Pete’s sweats and find his ass, gripping it, which causes Pete to moan. 

I don’t take my eyes off them, but I bring one shaking hand to my opposite arm and pinch. Yep, this is real. Holy shit. 

Pete’s arms are around Colson’s neck, holding him close, and as Colson continues to knead Pete’s ass, they grind against each other, each making soft noises that shoot right between my legs. They aren’t even naked yet and I’m already practically feral. I fan myself, trying to calm down, but then one of Colson’s hands has shifted to the front of Pete’s pants, and Pete’s knees quiver when Colson squeezes Pete’s dick through his boxers. 

“Hey,” I say quietly, and when the boys break apart to look at me, I’m rendered momentarily speechless. Their cheeks are flushed, lips red and swollen, and Colson’s blue eyes are so dark that the blue iris has almost disappeared. I swallow, gaining my composure. “Can we go to the bedroom?”

“Course,” Colson says, his voice low and hoarse. I get up and lead the way, settling myself into the chair that faces the bed. 

Pete chuckles softly. “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you, pretty girl?” he asks, hovering over me for a moment. All I can do is nod as he leans down to give me a slow, lingering kiss. My knees feel weak and I whimper softly. Pete smirks and goes to sit on the bed as Colson takes his place in front of me. 

Colson cups my chin, grazing his thumb over my bottom lip. “Is this what you wanted, baby?” he murmurs, and I nod. He grins and leans down to kiss me hard, tugging my bottom lip as he pulls away. “Want you to get yourself off while you watch us. Got it?”

All I can do is nod. Whether he’d given that order or not, I was already planning on it. 

Colson pushes Pete onto his back and climbs on top of him, kissing him fiercely as he presses his hips down. Pete moans and wraps a leg around Colson’s narrow hip as they kiss and touch and grind. Finally, Colson breaks the kiss in favor of kissing Pete’s neck. Pete’s head tips back and the sharp line of his jaw becomes prominent. God, he really is gorgeous. Colson’s lips move across Pete’s creamy pale skin and down onto his chest. 

“Fuck,” Pete grits out when Colson’s mouth wraps around one of his nipples. He brings a shaky hand into Colson’s hair, gripping it tightly as his back arches slightly. “Colson-”

Colson keeps moving down, taking his time. When he reaches Pete’s waistband, he pulls back to discard Pete’s sweats. Pete is so obviously hard in his boxer briefs and he watches Colson with a tight expression, almost trying to hide how turned on he is. Colson gets to his feet, keeping his eyes trained on the other man as he drops his own sweats to the floor. Then, he’s back on the bed, nudging Pete’s legs apart as his body covers Pete’s. Both boys simultaneously moan when Colson grinds his cock down against Pete’s, and it’s at that moment that I can’t take it anymore. I slip my hand into my sweats. 

Colson glances over at me and smirks. “Petey, look at our girl,” he murmurs. Pete looks over at me and his eyes glaze over as he realizes where my hand is. Then, Colson grips Pete’s jaw and turns his face back to the blonde. They kiss for a few more moments, and then Colson breaks away, getting off the bed. “Turn around,” he tells Pete, “hands and knees.” Pete swallows hard but obeys as Colson fishes in my bedside table for a bottle of lube. Once he finds it he runs his hands over Pete’s hips.

Pete lets his head hang down, lip between his teeth, but he goes rigid when Colson yanks his boxer briefs down below his ass. “It’s okay, Petey, I’ll be gentle,” Colson assures him, bending over to kiss Pete’s upper back. Pete sighs shakily and drops to his elbows. 

Colson smirks and winks at me before uncapping the lube. “You sure this is okay?” he asks Pete.

“Yes,” Pete mumbles. 

Colson frowns, then grabs Pete’s hair and hauls him up off his elbows. Pete cries out, panting when Colson wraps an arm around his waist from behind. Colson mouths at Pete’s neck. “Need to know you want this, too, Pete,” he mumbles.

“Y-yes, please, Kells, please,” Pete practically whines. 

Colson smirks and gently pushes Pete back down. Then, he pours some lube into his hand. He warms it up and steadies one hand on Pete’s hip as the other disappears between Pete’s cheeks. Pete tenses and then shudders when Colson inserts one long finger. I know how long Colson’s fingers are and I can only imagine that it’s grazing Pete’s prostate already. 

After a few minutes, Colson’s hand retracts slightly and he adds a second finger. “Oh fuck,” Pete says tightly, hands clenching on my comforter. 

“Good?” Colson asks and Pete nods quickly. Colson bites his lip and continues getting Pete ready for him. I let out a little moan when Colson’s other hand adjusts his own hard cock, and he glances at me, winking. “Can’t help it. He’s got me so fucking hard,” Colson murmurs to me. He eyes my body. “You wet, baby?”

“Yes,” I gasp softly, squirming. 

“Good,” Colson says. He holds eye contact with me as he inserts a third finger and Pete lets out a tortured but pleased sound. 

“Colson, please, m’ready,” Pete moans, pressing his ass backwards. 

Colson turns back to Pete and brings his palm down hard on the other man’s ass, causing Pete to cry out. “Don’t rush me,” he says in a calm voice. “Don’t want to hurt you.”

Pete goes quiet for a few more minutes and then he’s whining, grinding backwards onto Colson’s fingers. Colson chuckles and pulls his hand back. “He’s ready,” he mutters, getting to his feet. Pete removes his boxers and Colson does the same, lubing up his cock before climbing back onto the bed. As he presses the head of his cock to Pete, Pete pulls away, holding up a hand.

“H-hold on,” he pants, trying to calm down. “If you put that inside me right now, I’m gonna bust everywhere.” 

Colson smirks and wets his lips. “We’ve been wasting time not doing this, Petey,” he says, voice sultry. 

“Y-yeah, shit,” Pete says. “Okay. I’m good.” His breathing is more even and he gets back into position, resting on his elbows. Colson quickly disappears in the bathroom and returns with a towel. He lays it down beneath Pete and then gets back in position.

“Ready?” Colson asks, and Pete nods. Colson nods, too, then lines himself up and slowly presses forward. Pete moans and gasps and whimpers as Colson inches inside of him, slow, slow, until he’s into the hilt and Colson’s hips are pressed against Pete’s ass. 

“Jesus,” Pete whimpers, panting softly. 

“You good?” Colson asks gruffly. His hands tighten on Pete’s hips, giving away just how desperate he is to bury himself in Pete over and over. 

“Good,” Pete says. 

Colson draws his hips back with a moan. “Holy fuck,” he manages as he rolls his hips forward again. “Pete, so fucking good.”

Pete has gone speechless, unable to do anything but moan, unintelligible whimpers falling from his lips every now and again. Colson picks up his pace slightly and my hand matches his pace, speeding up as he does. I’m barely breathing as I watch it all unfold in front of me, a fantasy I never knew I had, a dream come true. Part of me wishes I could be a part of this and the other part of me is perfectly content if not overjoyed to be watching. 

“C-Colson, please,” Pete whines. Colson is fucking him faster now, pausing every now and against to grind his hips. Colson leans over Pete’s body and wraps an arm around his waist to find Pete’s cock, but then he pauses, smirking. He still his hips. “What?” Pete asks.

Then, Colson pulls Pete up and my eyes widen. “Holy shit,” I say, eyes widening.

“What?” Pete asks again, confused.

“Look down, babe,” Colson murmurs, and Pete does. His eyes widen when he sees it.

“Oh fuck,” Pete mutters, rubbing his hand over the bulge in his stomach. Colson retracts his hips and pushes in again, and Pete and I stare as Colson’s huge cock bulges against Pete’s belly.

“Colson, so hot, please,” Pete gasps. Colson pushes Pete back down and then wraps his hand around Pete’s cock. “Oh shit,” Pete gasps, hips jerking as Colson starts to move his hand up and down Pete’s cock. 

Pete’s close, it’s obvious he’s close. His hands tremble against the bedspread and his mouth is open, eyes squeezed shut in ecstasy. I’m so intently focused on them that my orgasm completely sneaks up on me and I let out a surprised cry as it hits me. Pete glances over at me and curses, his hips immediately jerking as he comes hard all over the towel beneath him, his orgasm triggered by mine. 

Colson continues to move his hips slowly as he works Pete through, and then he lets go, sitting up a little. “Pete, I’m close,” Colson manages, trying to move slowly, his hips jerking a little. “Please, can I?”

“Please,” Pete gasps out. 

Colson’s eyes close and his brow furrows as he speeds up. His head falls back and his mouth opens as his hands tighten around Pete’s hips. “Ohhh fuck,” he moans shakily, “I’m gonna come-” I watch as Pete arches his back and pushes backwards, urging Colson, fighting to make the other man come. Finally, Colson gasps and hunches over, hips twitching as he lets go. I give myself a second orgasm, so unbelievably worked up over these two incredible men. 

Finally, Colson slumps over Pete, breathing hard, blonde hair hanging over his forehead as he catches his breath. “Okay,” Colson rasps, pulling his hips back slowly. Pete whines a little at being left empty, but Colson gently rolls him over so he’s comfortable. Colson removes the towel and then plops down beside Pete, rubbing his face. “Holy shit.”

“Yeah, holy shit is right,” Pete agrees. 

All at once, they seem to remember I’m there, and two heads jerk in my direction. When they see how utterly depleted I am, twin smirks cover their faces. “Was that what you wanted?” Colson asks.

“Ten times better,” I admit. “I hope you liked it because you’re doing it again at some point.”

Colson and Pete laugh tiredly, giving each other a weak fist-bump. “I need a shower,” Colson says.

“You?” Pete says, baffled. “I need a shower.”

Colson chuckles. “That’s fair. Wanna shower together?”

Pete’s eyes go a little soft and he nods. They get off the bed and turn towards me. “Do you want to come?” Pete asks.

I shake my head. “No, it’s okay,” I say, reveling in the relief of my cramps being gone thanks to two orgasms. The boys head into the bathroom and start up the shower. I clean myself up and then climb into bed, snuggling under the covers. Now that it’s all over, my brain is working way too quickly.

Is it possible Colson and Pete have feelings for each other? Why doesn’t that make me feel jealous? Does Pete have feelings for me? How does Colson feel about it? What are we doing? This has to end at some point, right? The thought of this ending makes me feel a little sick. I love being with just Colson, but having Pete there is a whole new kind of amazing. 

Shit. The magic is gone and now I’m overthinking. I have no idea what to do.

[integra1127grimmreaper]

Psycho Lady Colonel - Clay’s Family - Part four

Clay Masterlist

1st series Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Part 3

Warning: swearing

“Hey, how you doing?” Pooch asks approaching Clay.

Clay palms his face, exhaling heavily, “not good…”

Pooch nods in understanding.

“Can’t say I understand what you’re going through, because I can’t. Even though we were stuck in Bolivia when Jolene was pregnant, I at least knew she was safe.”

“I can’t get the look on her face out of my mind…” Clay mutters out.

“She was scared, Pooch… I’ve never seen her that way before.”

“Of course, she’s scared” Pooch remarks.

“It’s not only her life that she has to worry about, but she also has to worry about keeping the baby that’s inside of her safe.”

Clay nods, staring vacantly out in front of him.

“Our baby…”

“Your baby, yours and hers…” Pooch pats him on the back with a faint smile.

“We’ll get them back safely.”

“I pray you’re right, Pooch” Clay murmurs, continuing to stare blankly ahead.

“Well, that was quite eventful…” Max stares at you with that creepy smile of his.

“Soon I’ll have my drive back, and Clay and his team will be dead.”

“You double-crossing-son-of-a-bitch!” you snarl at him.

“Now, now Colonel… calm down. Don’t want you upsetting yourself and making my boy sick.”

“Your boy?” you scoff, staring at him in shocked confusion.

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Oh, that’s right…” Max smirks at you, “I didn’t let you in on the plan, now did I?”

“You see, it’s come to my attention that I’m not getting any younger. It then occurred to me; that one day, I would need an heir to take over my empire once I’m no longer here.”

“What the hell does any of that have to do with my son?”

“Why go through all the hassle of finding a suitable woman to birth that heir for me, when I have the perfect heir candidate incubating right in front of me already.”

“You’re insane if you think I’ll allow you to raise my child!”

“That’s the thing…” Max grins at you.

“You don’t have a say, because you’ll be dead along with your baby daddy and his team.”

“You’ll never get away with it!” you hiss out, rushing forward to slug him.

“Ah, ah, ah…” Max tsks, pointing down to your belly as two of his men grabs hold of each arm to restrain you.

“I believe that the Colonel needs her rest after today’s festivities” Max instructs them with a hand wave.

You shoot Max one last venomous glare as the two men lead you back to your room then.

“Has the intel from Max come in yet?” Clay asks Jensen upon entering back into the room.

“Just came in” Jensen nods, tapping away at the computer.

“We have the location and time of the exchange. All we need to do is gear up and head out.”

“Good” Clay nods, satisfied at all the information.

“Everyone, pack up and get ready to leave ASAP.”

Clay sat silently on the bed, staring at the laptop screen that had the screenshot of Y/N’s faced from the video chat of earlier.

He should be busy packing like the rest of the team, but he couldn’t fight the need to see her face again.

She looked completely terrified, and it killed him knowing that there was nothing he could do at the moment to comfort her.

Y/N was strong-willed; a woman that didn’t scare easily, that Clay knew without doubt. But right there, right in that video; she was a mother in fear for the safety of her child, their child…

Skipping to the next screenshot, Clay felt his eyes begin to burn from the tears that were threatening to spill as he stared at the sonogram of his unborn son.

A son that until a few hours ago he never even knew about. He and Y/N should have been celebrating and preparing for the arrival of their little boy, yet instead; he was prepping for a rescue mission to bring her back home.

“I promise that I’ll bring you and your Mama home safely” Clay utters out, placing his hand over the sonogram shot.

“I promise, Son…”

[salti-thelatediagnosedautist]

Any other autistics left confused by live action media?

I rarely ever watch live action movies, but generally I have a hard time telling what is good acting, and what is bad acting (unless it is hilariously bad acting, like in twilight).

Often I will watch a live action movie and quite enjoy it, only then to afterwards read bad reviews. Or - alternatively, I will not recognise how amazing the acting was.

A moment that made me realise this recently was I watched the Moon Knight series. I really enjoyed it, don’t get me wrong. But then I was surprised when I watched ‘Cinema Therapy’ on Youtube cover it, and give the main actor (Oscar Isaac) extremely high praise for his acting. Nothing told me his acting was bad, I enjoyed watching him. But nothing clicked in my head to tell me that his acting was really super good, either.

I’m fairly certain that this... phenomenon(?) occurs because I don’t know body language or facial expressions (or even tone of voice) well enough to be able to judge someones acting. I often find it difficult or impossible to actually immerse myself in live action because all I can see is actors on a set.

I think this is a major reason as to why I (and a lot of other autistics) really prefer animated media. Watching real people interact in live action media is not nearly as engaging or clear to me.

In animated media, expressions are over-exaggerated, which makes it a lot easier for me to keep up. The amount of live-action scenes I’ve watched where the two actors are uncomfortably staring at each-other for extended periods of time is countless. Only for me to then realise later on that the scene was supposed to be romantic? Or even a respectful gaze? I cannot interpret those scenes AT ALL. No clue what’s happening. Then all the allistics go ahead and praise the wonderful acting. I’m just thinking “what happened?”. During scenes like this I always turn to my boyfriend and ask “what was happening there? I don’t get it.”

I think I also really like child-directed cartoons and animated media because there is often exposition. People like to make fun of exposition because to them, how the character should be feeling is obvious. But to me exposition is genuinely helpful and doesn’t bother me at all in most cases.

There are some live action shows that are more enjoyable to me because they are more clearly expressive, or plot based. But those are generally orientated to children/teens too. Think media like Harry Potter, Wednesday or Marvel movies. All of these kinds of media are pretty clear-cut on how characters are feeling. Usually because the show has a lot of other selling points to rely on (interesting characters, unique worldbuilding, special effects, plot twists, mysteries). Things like romantic comedies and drama pieces have never appealed to me because the core of their shows (good acting to convey complex emotions, in a subtle way) is literally inaccessible for me. I cannot consume that type of media and understand it at all.

Another interesting thing for me to note with live action VS animated media is gore (feel free to skip this bit if talking about gore is triggering to you, however it’s not graphic). Watching violence in live action media makes me extremely uncomfortable. I feel sick and want to run away. (There are a few exceptions where the gore is clearly fake and supposed to be funny, like in the recent film “Violent Night” (a pretty funny movie about a stuipidly violent Santa). But, in contrast, with animated media, I can watch the most bloody, horrible and violent scenes and feel nothing. Or just observe how good the animation is.

So yeah, basically TLDR; I love cartoons and don’t understand live action media because autism.