#and a few things that i’ve skipped because i was getting sick of them: two avvar-related ttrpg adventures (where eagles lair & buried pasts)

[danielnelsen]

anon who asked about chasind headcanons, i am not ignoring you, that is actually step 3 of my current project:

gather all chasind lore in existence

organise it into something coherent

fill in the gaps

unfortunately i have been on step 1 for about 2 weeks and it is currently a 130 page document and will still take a while to finish

but i am getting there!!! and i have formed many headcanons in the process about all kinds of things

[santanasaintmendes]

“i wish i was who you drunk texted at midnight”

wc!: 5.2k (i’m sorry i’ve got serious problems 😔)

ollie bearman x reader + childhood friends to ?

warnings: angst asf, heartbreak, swearing, let me know if there are any more!

part 2

summary: after moving to Chelmsford you meet ollie, the two of you quickly become friends but unfortunately you fall for Ollie. he moves away for f2 and leaves you, until he’s supposed to race in Jeddah. you fly there only to gain more than what you bargained for

type: angst (cliff hanger ending IM SORRY)

a/n: this is just something I wrote because I was sick in bed the last few days, it’s super long but so hope yall like it! Also i’m sorry if it’s bad lol i am still sick and this is just something i wrote for fun to entertain myself. ALSO no hate to Estelle Ogilvy (is that how i spell her last name) i just used her for the plot of the story please don’t come after me.). The name is inspired by “drunk text” by Henry Moodie, please give it a listen it’s such a good song, enjoy xxx

They say that you should always be friends with the person you like before you start to fall for them. Well, that’s one thing you could check off the list if you looked back on your friendship with Ollie. The truth was, being in love with your best friend sucked. Friends can break your heart too, something people tend to forget. 

6 and 6 

The first time you ever met Ollie was in a library. A week prior to that you had moved to a strange town named Chelmsford. A name that 6-year-old you found difficult to pronounce, to be frank everything in the new town sounded different to what you were used to. The people there spoke with such a different accent to what you were used to, it would take you quite a while to get used to it. As you sat in the back of the taxi with your backpack at your feet, you stared out the fogged up window. The sky was a gloomy grey and the landscape seemed to be an endless plain of sad looking meadows. 

You couldn’t seem to understand why your parents would choose to move to such a sad looking place, it didn’t make any sense. The taxi soon came to a slow stop, the brakes squealing loudly. You glanced out the window hopefully, rubbing the condensation away with your sleeve. Only to be disappointed to see a boring brick building of some sort. It was an odd combination of white wooden window frames and red bricks, like something out of one of those 1600s movies your Father once showed you. You anxiously looked back to your Mother who was watching you as your Father sorted out something with the taxi driver. Upon seeing your unhappy face your Mother chuckled softly.

“I heard that there’s a library just down the street, maybe sometime this week we could visit it.” she offered. You nodded, slightly content. Reading books was something you enjoyed and maybe with a library being close by, not all was lost. 

As it turned out, that boring brick building was your new house. 

Despite having to unpack and sort adult-y things out, your Mother took you to the library just as she had promised. As you skipped down the cobbled road, your Mother held a bright yellow umbrella over your head to shield you from the rain that was pouring down from the cloudy grey sky. 

You pushed upon the heavy front door to the library which also happened to look like a sad white brick square with a pointy red roof, a depressed mushroom if you will. You halted in your steps as giant wood bookcases rose before you, shelves full of books. Never had you ever seen so many books before. In the corner there was a lady sorting things in a trolley with her back turned to you, she still hadn’t noticed you. 

“C’mon, let’s head to the kids section.” your Mother said, taking you by the hand and leading you deeper into the library. Stunned by the amount of books that filled the shelves you couldn’t help but wander off when your Mother told you to stay put while she set up a borrowing card for you. 

Luckily, the children’s section of the library was much more pleasant looking than the eerie hallways of adult books. You scanned the shelves in search of something to read, until you came to a stop. Two round brown eyes among the books blinked from the other side of the shelf, scaring you. 

It was a boy. 

You blinked back, unsure of what to do. So you did what any other 6 year old did when they believed they had found a new friend. 

“Do you want to read with me?” you abruptly asked the boy who was still staring at you with wide eyes. A moment of silence passed before he nodded slowly, the boy rounded the corner. He wasn’t much taller than you with chocolate brown hair and small freckles that spilled over his face like tiny stars. He stuck out his hand, “I’m Oliver. But my friends call me Ollie.” he greeted, a smile taking over his face. His voice sounded odd, like the taxi driver who’d driven you from the airport to your new house. Ollie reminded you of a rabbit with his two front teeth that seemed to take up over half of his face, but you didn’t say anything because your Mother told you that saying things like that wasn’t nice. 

You took his hand cautiously in yours, “I’m Y/N.” you replied slowly. He enthusiastically shook your hand, taking you by surprise as he led you to sit down on the bright coloured bean bags. You watched curiously as he picked a book off the shelf before plopping down next to you again. You peered over as he opened the book to the first page, you frowned, not recognising the book. 

“It’s a book called Where’s Wally (Where’s Waldo if you’re American). You have to find the characters, there’s Wally, Wenda, the wizard guy and Woof - that’s the dog.” Ollie explained to you, pointing to each character on the page. The initial nervousness of meeting another kid, melting away. You began to feel excited as you nodded along while Ollie continued to explain how to play. The two of you spent the next hour doing all sorts of things, talking about favourite colours, favourite animals, reading books, drawing, playing board games together. Both getting along so easily it was as if you guys had known each other forever. That was until you heard your Mother calling your name to go home. 

You stood up, looking down at Ollie who was still seated on a yellow bean bag. He blinked up at you, with those big brown eyes that had scared you only an hour earlier. “I have to go home now.” you told him, a wave of sadness passing between the two of you as you both realised your fun had come to an end. 

“That’s okay, maybe I’ll see you at school.” he suggested hopefully upon seeing your downcast face. You broke into a smile, “Okay, bye Ollie.” you waved slowly as you began to walk away. Ollie waved back with a giant grin on his face as he watched you disappear behind the wooden bookshelves. 

“Hey Mom!” you called out to your Mother as she came into view, she was chatting with the lady who you’d seen at the desk sorting books. She paused and turned to you, “Hey, I was just talking to the librarian, she was saying about how she has a son who hangs out here while she works on the weekend.” 

Putting two and two together you realised that the book lady was Ollie’s Mother. You smiled at the lady, “I was playing with Ollie, we were reading that one book, ‘Where’s  . .  .” You trailed off, racking your brain for the name of the book he’d shown you. 

“Where’s Wally?” the librarian offered, she nodded fondly. “That’s his favourite book.” You grinned up at the lady, looking back in the direction where you’d been playing with Ollie.

“Mom, am I going to the school as Ollie?” you asked, looking up at your Mother. She chuckled softly before nodding, “As a matter of fact, you are.” 

Those golden words were what made you unbelievably excited to begin at your new school. You had barely been able to sleep with the thought of seeing your new friend again, so on that Monday morning you bounded down the stairs to the kitchen. “Good morning!” you greeted both your parents, taking a seat at the dining table, legs swinging off the chair impatiently. 

“Someone’s excited for their first day of school.” your Mother hummed as she set a plate of pancakes in front of you. You nodded, “I get to see my new friend.” you replied as you stuffed your mouth with your breakfast. 

You were basically pulling your Mother through the front gates as you scanned the sea of other children in the same uniform as you. The uniform also happened to be grey, it complimented the terrible weather perfectly. Your eyes fell onto the brown haired-freckled boy from two days earlier, you ran up to him, “Hi Ollie.” you smiled. A giant grin took over the boy’s face, “Y/N!” he exclaimed, pulling you into a hug. From that day on, the two of you were inseparable. Where one of you went, the other followed right behind, Ollie helped you adjust to your new school, showing you around and never leaving you by yourself. As the years passed the two of you only became closer, though you would soon find out that that wasn’t the greatest thing. 

13 and 13

As the two of you grew into teenagers, things began to change and not always for the better. Ollie and you still remained close friends, having dinner at one another’s house on Friday’s, walking home together after school and occasionally spending afternoons playing Mario Kart with Ollie’s siblings. Your families were also extremely close now courtesy to both you and Ollie, his younger siblings becoming like your own. But the worst thing? 

You’d caught feelings for Ollie, it had been so sudden almost like it had crept up on you, taking you by surprise. You didn’t understand. It felt so wrong. 

One day out of the blue it hit you like a pile of bricks, you just couldn’t stop staring at him. Absolutely enchanted by him, his chocolate brown hair, those pretty freckles that you’d memorised on his face. 

Ollie was like a brother to you, he was your best friend, so how come you felt these things for him?

To make matters even worse for little 13 year old you, Ollie liked another girl. A girl who absolutely hated your guts. 

What had you done to her? You didn’t know. 

You and Ollie had been having a sleepover when he told you about her, her name was Estelle Ogilvy. She was gorgeous and untouchable, by far the prettiest girl you’d ever seen. You didn’t hold a candle to her and you knew it too. Ollie had been hopelessly in love with her since the start of high school when he shared science and maths class with her. Time and time again he would ramble on about her to you, completely oblivious to your feelings for him. You could only nod along wishing it was you who he was talking about. That’s just how it was, you were stuck in a bubble of unrequited love. So all you could do now was watch from afar as Ollie ran after a girl who you just knew would never like him as much as he liked her. 

15 and 15

Ollie’s karting career really took off in the last few years and you couldn’t have been prouder, those feelings for him still lingered around but you’d come to terms that he’d never like you in the same way. Because there he was, still stuck on chasing Estelle. You couldn’t blame him, and maybe that’s what you were always just supposed to be, friends. 

Yet you were jealous, something you refused to admit. Jealous of Estelle because oh how you wished to be talked about so fondly by Ollie. To always be on his mind, to be the girl he liked and would never shut up about. You still didn’t understand why you felt this way, in your mind it made absolutely zero sense. Then why did it feel so right when you were by his side, almost like you belonged there next to him? But Ollie being Ollie could just never get a hint whenever you tried to subtly let him know. It sucked because there’s nothing worse than loving someone who’ll never love you the same way. 

18 and 18 

It got worse as the years passed, your feelings for your best friend would just not go away. No matter how hard you tried, how hard you tried to find another boy to fawn over, your gaze would always fall back on Ollie. But he was dating Estelle now, he was in Formula 2 now. It almost seemed like an eternity ago when you first met him in the library just down your street. An eternity ago when you would attend his karting races, cheering the loudest for him in the stands. All of that was now in the past. You barely even saw him now that he had dropped out of school to pursue his career in Formula 2. Now all you could do now was watch from a distance as he looked the happiest you’d seen him in ages.

He was spectacular at what he did, you would watch him race on TV every week no matter what hour the race was or even if you had school the next day. 

Yet inside of you there was a giant hole, a hole that Ollie had left behind when he abandoned you. Abandoned was a bit of a stretch but it was the only word you could use to sum up what you had felt when he left. Ollie had to move to Italy for his career, news that he hadn’t even told you in person, you had to hear it from his Mother. He’d taken your hands in his at the airport as he waited to board his plane and promised you he’d stay in touch, that he’d call every week but here you were with the last time you’d spoken to him being over a month ago. 

You refused to be the first one to reach out to him, you felt like he owed you that much effort at least. So you waited  . . . and waited only for the world to keep spinning while you were stuck in the past. That was until you finally realised that you had never meant as much to Ollie as he had to you. 

19 and 19 - present day 

“Y/N! WAKE UP OR YOU’LL BE LATE FOR SCHOOL!” your Mother’s voice echoed up to your bedroom, rattling the glass in the window frames. You groaned as you groggily sat up, pulling open the curtains only to be greeted with dark overcast weather, rain pouring down outside. You rubbed your eyes, yawning as you dragged yourself out of bed. It was your second year of university studying mechanical engineering at the biggest university in Chelmsford. It proved to be difficult with its endless nights of staying up doing work but you knew it would be worth it in the end. 

Your university never failed to confuse you and make you late for class with all of its giant identical hallways. You ran down the corridors, heels clacking on the marble floor until you came to a stop at the door to where your lecture was for that day. Slipping through the door you weaved through the seats of the auditorium to find an empty seat. Luckily for you, your friend Bianca saved a seat for you. 

“Thanks.” you whispered only to be shot dirty glares by the students around you. You winced as you looked ahead at the teacher in an attempt to catch on what he was droning on about. Bianca gently nudged you, passing her phone to you. You frowned, eyebrows knitted as you looked down at the screen. A notice on Ferrari's official instagram with Ollie’s face plastered above the words “Oliver Bearman to race in Jeddah this weekend for Carlos Sainz.” 

You narrowed your eyes and huffed, passing the phone back to Bianca who smiled nervously. “What was the point of that?” you whispered, leaning closer to her. Bianca sighed, “You’re not fooling anyone, I know you still have unresolved feelings for him.” she whispered back only to get a loud shushing sound from a nearby student. 

Bianca shot them a glare before turning back to you, “You have to go, I don’t care what you say. You are going. This is his Formula 1 debut, whether you’re still friends with him or not you’ve got to be there for him.” she whispered-shouted, looking at you sternly. You sighed, leaning back into your chair, shaking your head. 

“It’s not the same anymore. He’s clearly forgotten about me, the last time we spoke was last year and he’s been back home 4 times in the last 12 months.” 

Silence hung in the air, only the voice of the teacher rambling on and on about something you still hadn’t caught on about. 

“That Estelle girl, she’s clearly using him. You were his best friend, surely that means something to you both.” Bianca tried again but it wasn’t any use. There was no purpose in bringing up something that you both had clearly tried so hard  to forget about. 

So then why were you here booking a flight to Jeddah to watch your old best friend debut in Formula 1? 

It was something you couldn’t answer and didn’t want to. 

The thing that you hated the most is that you didn’t even think twice before booking those tickets. 

How could you care so much about a person who had so blatantly forgotten about you?

Deep down you knew the answer, it was because to you Ollie was like your home. He was the first person to make you feel like you actually belonged somewhere, he never abandoned you to eat lunch alone at school, he never cancelled plans once you made them, he was a good person, a good friend. 

Or at least he was. 

Were you insane? The answer was yes, yes you were insane. Being here was so crazy; it nearly made you want to turn around and jump on the next flight back home. You were standing in line to go through the gates when you heard someone call your name. You secretly hoped it was Ollie but much to your disappointment it was . . . Arthur?

Ollie had introduced you to Arthur back when they had raced in Formula 3 together. You hadn’t seen him in forever. 

“Arthur?” you questioned as he pulled you into a hug, you hugged him back before pulling away, still unable to believe it was him. 

“I was about to ask what you’re doing here but that would be dumb.” you confessed, only noticing now the massive crowd that was surrounding the two of you. Arthur chuckled before nodding in the direction of the gate, “C’mon, I can get you in, you’ll be my guest.” 

“Oh, you don’t have to-” you began but Arthur was already pushing you through the gates. Walking back onto a race track was like taking a breath of fresh air after being in a car for a long time. You used to accompany Ollie to all of his karting races each weekend in Chelmsford, so being in the stands had become like a second home to you. 

“Are you here for Ollie?” Arthur asked as you walked in the direction of the motorhomes. You caught yourself before you could answer too irrationally, “No, I’m just here to watch the race.” you shrugged, realising how dumb that sounded as soon as it left your mouth. No good person would fly all the way to Saudi Arabia to watch a race if there was a Grand Prix in their own country.  If you wanted to “just watch a race” you could’ve watched it on TV or gone to the Silverstone GP. Arthur only hummed, you knew he had already caught on, it was so obvious it made you want to dig a hole and jump in. 

“Anyways,” you quickly said, eager to move onto a different topic.

“Anyways.” Arthur agreed, looking at you, eyebrows raised. “You can’t fool me, I’ve known it since the moment I met you.”

You let out an exasperated sigh, “What am I going to say to him?” you asked, looking to Arthur for help. He shrugged, “No clue but you might want to think of something quickly because he’s walking over right now.”

“Y/N?” 

You blinked as you came face to face with the person you wanted to see so badly for the last year and now that you were here facing him it felt like all the air in you had gotten sucked right out. He looked  the same since the last time you saw him. In the last year you wanted to hate Ollie so much but it was impossible because you still loved him and that was the big terrible truth that you refused to admit. 

“Hi. Ollie.” you said, to not let the jumble of words that you’ve kept in since the last time you saw him spill out. Arthur sent you a quick salute, “Gotta go, I’ll see you afterwards, Y/N.” and with that he left you with Ollie in silence. 

“What are you doing here?” Ollie finally asked, he was acting so . . .  so normal. As if nothing had changed between the two of you.

“I’m here because I’m your number 1 fan, remember?” you scoffed, looking up at him. A reminder of the time when you were both 10, Ollie gifted you a t-shirt at Christman with the words: “Ollie’s No.1 fan.” plastered on it for you to wear to his karting races. It was sure to be buried deep in your wardrobe somewhere. 

“Yeah,” he breathed, “Yeah you are.” guilt written all over his face. 

“Why’d you leave me then? Tell me the truth, did I do something wrong? Was I too normal for you?” you asked, questions pouring out of you. 

“We were best friends, how could you just leave me like that? Do I mean nothing to you? Because you were everything to me, my best friend, the first person who made me feel like I actually mattered to someone, so tell me, why did you abandon me?” 

Silence hung in the air as you stared up at Ollie. You wanted answers, perhaps it would be the only thing that would let you move on from him. He looked away, unable to meet your gaze. This was so. . . so unfair. You wanted to yell, scream at him even so he could feel even a fraction of the pain you’d felt in the past year. 

“So that’s it? You don’t even have an explanation?” you asked him, your voice shaking with anger it made your throat ache as you blinked back tears. 

“I waited and waited for you to call me, to even send a message but that was a mistake. You’ll never love me in the same way that I love you.” 

Hot tears rolled down your cheeks, Ollie finally meeting your eyes as the three simple words left your lips. 

You’ll never love me in the same way that I love you.

The world stopped like everything had been put on pause as you realised your mistake. You felt like you’d gotten hit on the head with a cricket bat. 

“I have to go.” is all that left your mouth as you turned around. The ground was moving like a spinning wheel - a blurry mess of colours. It made you sick to your stomach as you walked away, your cheeks flushed hot and your forehead sticky with sweat. Ollie didn’t even call out for you, nor run after you for an explanation because it was so blatantly clear what you’d just confessed to him. 

You wished you could hate him, hate the fact that he’d left you, forgotten you like an old stuffed toy, you hated that he didn’t love you. 

You sat on the curb, clutching your knees outside of the entrance to the racetrack wallowing in self-pity. Wiping away tears that just kept falling down your face much to your distaste. The sun was beginning to disappear behind the buildings, the sky now a deep shade of orange. You stared at your feet, it was dumb, you should’ve known that coming here to Jeddah was a mistake. Ollie had moved on, something that you hadn’t done in the last year. You felt so stupid, why did you believe you could repair your friendship?

Why did you-

“Excuse me?” a voice interrupted your train of thought, you quickly wiped your tears and looked up to see Arthur standing beside you, a pitiful smile on his face. You looked away, “What do you want?” you grumbled, folding your arms across your chest bitterly. Arthur sat down beside you, watching you closely as you stared at the trees in the distance. He sighed, “The race is about to start and Ollie’s not coming out of his driver room. Estelle said she’d be here but she’s not and he’s locked himself in.” 

The words hung heavy in the air, “And what does that have to do with me?” you asked flatly. You knew exactly what he meant. But you weren’t going to do that, you were done with Ollie and everything to do with him. 

“You know exactly what it has to do with you. Did you really think Ollie forgot about you that easily? You’re dumber than I thought.” he quipped unhelpfully. 

“Thanks,” you muttered miserably, Arthur winced. 

“What I meant is that you can’t give up this easily, you and I both know how stupid Ollie can be sometimes.” 

You chuckled softly, letting a tiny smile creep onto your face. Arthur wasn’t wrong. When you and Ollie were both 8 you invited him over for Easter to make coloured eggs. It resulted in 20 cracked eggs on the kitchen tiles when Ollie accidentally knocked them off the bench. The two of you had stared at the mess on the ground before bursting out laughing until you were both in tears. It was safe to say that you both spent the next 2 hours scrubbing the tiles and the yolk that had stained the grout in between them. 

“Yeah.” you said softly, looking at the sun that had been swallowed by the top of the palm trees, the stars in the sky beginning to appear as you sat in the light underneath a lamp post. 

“So?”

“Okay, I’ll get him out of the room but after that I’m out of here. I want to go home.” 

Arthur gave you a quick thumbs up as you raised your hand to knock gently on the door to the driver’s room. There wasn’t a reply, only dead silence and that’s when you heard it, crying from inside the room. 6-year-old you would’ve kicked down the door and done anything to get to your best friend. But here you stood outside the room, sending hopeless glances at Arthur who was standing behind you. 

“Ollie?” you called out hesitantly, the crying halted and there was another long moment of silence. You pressed your ear up against the door, waiting for an answer. 

“Yeah?” his shaky voice replied, you breathed a sigh of relief. You turned around, beckoning Arthur to leave you both, he only nodded, mouthing ‘OK’ as he slipped down the hallway. Turning back to the driver’s room you took a deep breath in, you didn’t want to go in. You didn’t think you could face him after what happened earlier. 

“You came,” he said as your hand rested on the handle of the door but there was resistance, it was still locked. 

“Of course, are you okay?” you asked, immediately regretting asking as soon as it left your mouth. You cursed yourself silently as you awaited Ollie’s answer. Soft sniffles came from the other side of the door, “Yeah.” he finally replied quietly but loud enough for you to hear from the other side of the door.

What were you supposed to say to get him out of the driver’s room?

“Everyone’s waiting for you, you can’t stay in there forever.” you gently reminded him, sighing as you sat down, back leaning up against the door. There was another long moment of silence as you rested your head on the door, stretching your legs out for comfort. 

“I don’t think I can do it.” he said, taking you by surprise. The Ollie you’d known wasn’t afraid of anything, he was confident in almost everything he did, almost it seemed. 

“Oliver, you’re being crazy. You are by far the most talented driver I’ve ever seen.” you told him, staring at the roof of the building as you heard a sigh from the other side of the door. “You’re just saying that because you’re my girlfriend, Estelle.” 

You froze as if you’d just been stabbed by icicles, Ollie thought you were Estelle. 

Of course. He’d been expecting her, Arthur had told you before. You scoffed to yourself quietly, you would’ve stood up and left if it wasn’t the fact that you were here to get Ollie out of the driver’s room he had oh so nicely locked himself in. You let out a soft sigh as you racked your brain for what you should say to him. 

“I’m not. It’s the truth, Ollie.” you told him with a heavy heart, feeling as if you were just setting yourself up to get your heart broken all over again. You took a deep breath in, “You are such an amazing driver it’s literally insane, not only that but you’re by far the kindest, most selfless person I know. It’s crazy that you think you can’t do this, because I know that you can. Ferrari chose you to drive for them for a reason, they know what you’re capable of, everyone else does too. I see you and you’re extraordinary, you have this spark inside you that’s amazing. And . . . maybe that’s the reason why I love you. I always have, and when I had the chance I should’ve told you but I didn’t because your friendship has always meant more to me than my own feelings.” you let out a shaky breath. 

“You’re a good person, Ollie. You’ve earned a chance to show the world just how great and insanely talented you are, are you really going to throw it away?” 

You blinked back tears, who knew you could get so emotional after giving such a life changing speech?

You rubbed your eyes and cleared your throat, letting out a deep sigh. It was time to leave now, Ollie would have realised by now that it was you who was speaking to him and not Estelle. As you began to get up, leaning against the door for support you heard a click!

Oh shit, was the only thought that went through your mind as you lost your footing and fell backwards, the door frame offering you no help at all as you grasped at it helplessly. You stared up at Ollie as you laid at his feet, a million thoughts racing through your mind. He was in his fireproofs with his race suit tied around his waist as he looked down at you, eyebrows knitted. There were tear stains on his flushed cheeks as he stared at you with those wide brown eyes you’d seen among the books all those years ago. 

“Y/N?” 

a/n: sorry if it was so quick and rushed i just wanted to post something! Thank you if you got the end, ik it was super long for no reason, so thank you! Please let me know what you think, likes and reblogs are always appreciated, thank you and have an amazing day xx

[frozenjokes]

Toys Like Tape Measures (And A Brand New Splint!)

tw for drugging, though only in the medical sense. however, because of the language barrier, Mumbo doesn’t understand what’s happening really, so if that makes you uncomfortable I would skip

“Alright, so here’s the deal,” Mumbo heard Scar before he even reached the clearing, and he couldn’t be more excited. Scar was back, (and Grian was there too) he was finally back after being gone all week! “Today we’re going to fix that splint- ope- don’t make that face at me yet, let me explain, let me explain. I promise it will be 100% safe.”

“So many things- so many things, Scar, but you are not a doctor, much less a veterinarian- how do you even think this is going to work? Mumbo won’t even let us touch him, what makes you think anything about this will be safe?”

“I’ve been doing a lot of research, Grian! I’ve talked to every large animal vet I know, and a few fish people as well! This big ol’ bag on my back you’ve been nagging me about has everything we’ll need! Well, except the fish. You’re going to have to catch a few of those.”

“Scar! Fishing in this spot isn’t even very good and you know it, if you needed fish, why wouldn’t you bring any.”

“Forgot.”

There was a small silence before the two humans burst into the clearing, climbing through the path they’d ended up making through the brush by walking through so many times. Mumbo surfaced to greet them, though they were still preoccupied with each other.

“Of course,” Grian groaned, sighing as he threw down his bag, “Guess I’ll get to it then.”

“That’s the spirit!” Scar beamed, patting the other human hard on the back, who made a soft oof sound before scuttling away, moving to hide its face from Scar as it turned a reddish color. Odd. Usually Grian would yell at Scar for doing something like that, rightfully so (Mumbo still didn’t understand why Scar would randomly hit his friend), but instead Grian was far more meek. Had something happened? Maybe since Scar was hurt, Grian was taking a more passive role than normal. Mermaids were gentler with sick friends as well, and Mumbo knew quite well he could get away with more when he was unwell.

But it was good to see Scar looking healthy. His shoulder was still bandaged, visible under his shirt, but he couldn’t be feeling too badly given his bright demeanor, and his movement didn’t seem to be impaired at all. Thank goodness.

If it was even possible, Scar brightened further when he spotted Mumbo, happily throwing off unnecessary clothes before hopping right into the water, showing absolutely zero signs of fear. Oh, that was a weight off Mumbo’s back; he didn’t even realize how worried he was about Scar being afraid of him until now, until Scar very clearly wasn’t. Good, good..

Mumbo met Scar in the shallows, deep enough that he could keep his tail from dragging on the sand, but shallow enough where he could navigate with his hands; he was in near constant pain even with a week to recover, and while slow, pulling himself along the bottom with his hands caused the least agony on his tail. His splint was sufficiently broken now, only getting more uncomfortable with every passing day. At this point, Mumbo was just waiting for it to fall off; trying to figure out how it was attached was far too painful, though he had tried briefly a couple of times (with little success).

“Hello, Mumbo!” Scar greeted him, “I’ve got something you’re going to like. I’m pretty sure you like human stuff, so you’ll get a kick out of this.” Scar held up a small silver object, round, but not quite circular. Mumbo moved to get a closer look, though he couldn’t lift himself very far out of the water, so Scar crouched down to get it closer. “Tape measure.”

Mumbo squinted. “What.”

“Tape measure.” Huh. Weird word. Usually human words weren’t that long, though, maybe Mumbo had only learned the shorter ones. Was this a human tool? Mumbo attempted to snatch it, but Scar was faster, jumping back with a surprised look on his face. On his perch, Grian laughed.

“I told you! I told you he’d try to take that, and you won’t be getting it back.”

“Well he can have it if he wants, but not before I’m done!” Scar huffed, then turned back to Mumbo, speaking sternly, “No.” Mumbo stared, unamused. He could have guessed Scar didn’t want him to have its human tool, that didn’t change the fact that he was going to take it.

“Scar,” he tried, reaching out a hand a little slower. Maybe it wouldn’t see? ‘Your human object. Give me.’ he continued in a whistle due to the lack of human words, but Scar only huffed, an incredulous smile across its face.

“No!” Scar repeated a tad more forcefully, but Mumbo could see the smile on his face, he knew well enough he could keep trying. Mumbo moved a little forward, hoping to get within reach, but Scar stepped back, then back again, rolling his eyes, “You’re going to make measuring you really difficult, Mumbo.”

“Yeah,” Grian said from across the way, a small laugh in his tone, “I’d say I’ve got plenty of time to catch something.”

“You will, but this is not the reason!” Scar yelled back, pointing an accusatory finger, but the smile never left Scar’s face, and soon his focus was squarely back on Mumbo (who definitely hadn’t tried to snatch at the device while it was distracted).

The tool made a soft whirring sound as Scar pulled on one end, a flat yellow line appearing from inside the device, then snapping back when Scar let go. Whoa. What was that? What was the purpose? Scar moved a little bit closer, pulling the yellow line further this time, but when Mumbo managed to touch it, the line snapped back into the silver device with a sharp crack. Huh. Was it alive? Maybe it was shy? It looked a little bit like a snail..

“What.” Mumbo said, hoping for more information, but Scar only put his hands on his hips, making a show of his annoyance.

“I can’t show you if you keep trying to take it from me!” Nonsense. Guess Mumbo would just have to take it to figure it out for himself.

The next thirty minutes was an odd dance of Scar struggling to keep his distance while also trying to line up the tape measure with Mumbo’s body, and Mumbo would be lying if he said he wasn’t enjoying the game. The tape measure hurt if it snapped back on Mumbo’s hand, but if anything, that only made the game more exciting. Even with the limited use of his tail, he found himself splashing far more than usual, a certain recklessness brought about only by play. He didn’t even want the tape measure anymore (lie), he just wanted to keep up the game. Scar did not like the game as much, less and less as more time passed, but Grian seemed amused at least, occasionally looking over to laugh when Scar stumbled or outright fell over.

“I could use a little help here if you don’t mind!” Scar called, and Grian laughed again, the sound coming out more like a cackle.

“I thought you had it handled? You kept insisting you were fine, what changed?”

“He just won’t stop moving! Listen, I’ve measured plenty of animals, but they don’t usually have hands! He’s being impossible- he knows I’m not trying to hurt him and he knows I need him to stay still and he’s just not listening! On purpose! This was supposed to be easy!”

“He looks like he’s having fun, I wouldn’t want to rain on his parade.”

“Grian! Help me!” Scar cut himself off with a yelp as Mumbo lunged for the tape measure, but he didn’t get far with his limited mobility, so Scar stepped easily out of reach. He was lucky Mumbo couldn’t use his tail, lucky. With another short laugh, Grian got up from where he was fishing, making his way gingerly off the rocks and giggling as he went before stepping into the water as well. Ah, so another challenger joins the fray!

Though, with Grian holding one side of the yellow line, Mumbo couldn’t quite grab at it anymore, the whole thing bending and snapping like it might break in two if Mumbo wasn’t careful. And that wouldn’t do, no no, how could he figure out its purpose if it was broken?

Instead, he stilled so he could watch instead- wow the line went out so far! How much could fit in there? How far could it go? Mumbo moved to follow the humans’ movement, but they seemed to want to pull the line the length of Mumbo’s tail, chirping nonsense to each other the entire time. At least Scar looked excited; it was always nice when Scar was happy, nice enough that Mumbo didn’t mind all that much that their game was effectively over. Mumbo didn’t love how close they were getting, but a small flash of his teeth was enough to get Grian’s attention, who communicated to Scar in Mumbo’s stead.

It wasn’t very long before the two of them were satisfied though, Grian easing the yellow line back into the tape measure. Mumbo took his chance, lunging as quickly as his impaired mobility would allow, but Scar surprised him by turning around instead of jumping away like normal. While Mumbo was scrambling to keep himself from running face first into Scar’s legs, the human tossed him the tape measure, the thing plopping heavily into the water. Mumbo gaped for a moment before grabbing it, but when he resurfaced, Scar was walking toward the shore, chatting away with Grian like the tape measure didn’t mean anything at all. Well.. okay.

No matter! Mumbo had a new toy, and first he wanted to know just how long this yellow line was. The answer was very long. Mumbo lodged one end under a rock and swam as far as the line would allow, and while he was quite impressed with the length, he was even more excited when he let go of the metal base, the whole thing shooting back in the other direction. Yes! Yes! Mumbo did the same thing at least seven more times before getting a little bored, then experimented with the tape measure above the water, where it snapped back much faster. The height of his fun was setting the end of the yellow line under a rock on the surface, bringing metal end to the other side of the cove, then letting go and watching the thing skirt across the water, splashing all the way. He was relatively sure he made some sort of trill or other noise in his excitement, as Scar and Grian’s laughing caught his attention. Mumbo cringed a little, suddenly very aware of their eyes on him, but his embarrassment was short lived, outweighed by the joy of funny human trinket.

Mumbo would have spent the rest of the day playing with the tape measure, but something else caught his eye. Scar was working on something- no, he was making something. Mumbo had never seen a human make something before- not in the way Mumbo liked to do! Scar’s creative process looked very similar as well, which is to say, all the materials he brought were strewn all over the grass, wildly unorganized as he fiddled with different parts. Most of his materials were long metal rods, but there were also some leather looking pieces, and what looked like parts of white tubing as well. What was he up to?

Mumbo shimmied as close to the shore as his tail would allow, hoping to grab Scar’s attention. “What. What. What,” he said in human, hoping the extra emphasis would translate through the repeated words.

Scar looked up, clearly amused, but seemed to struggle with explaining, starting and stopping speaking several times before settling with, “For you.” Not very helpful, and Scar knew it, making a couple of vague gestures at Mumbo before giving up and going back to his project. Well.. that was fine. Mumbo would just have to watch.

Scar was mostly focused on the leather piece, positioning it in a circular way and winding the metal through to create a cage-looking structure. The leather was adjustable too, Scar fiddling with a buckle on the front to make the entire thing wider or smaller. Mumbo was particularly fascinated by the white pieces though, much flatter than the rods, which Scar only weaved through one side. Why? He tried to ask again what the human was doing, but was only offered the same non-answer.

“Oh!” Grian made a surprised noise from his place on the rocks, and Mumbo saw his line tighten. If only he was fast enough to snag whatever was on it off the hook, but alas, Grian was already reeling in a decent sized fish. Scar hopped to his feet and Grian let out a celebratory noise of his own; it was so cute how humans got so excited about every catch. Though, in all fairness, Mumbo would have been quite chuffed catching a fish that size, especially this hungry. Maybe if humans really didn’t eat the fish they caught, they’d be open to sharing.

Grian scooped the fish off the line with a net, maneuvering the hook out of its mouth before walking it back toward the shore to Scar, who cheered all the while.

“Right,” Grian said as he hit the sand, “You want to give this to him? I’m assuming you’re going to drug him or something.”

“That’s the plan. I was considering a tranquilizer, but I don’t want to make this experience traumatic or anything, and hauling a big ol’ rifle out here might put a damper on some of the trust we’ve established. Hopefully this way he’ll just be real relaxed, maybe even take a nice little nap.”

“You’re not trying to put him to sleep? What are you giving him?”

“Not necessarily, but I doubt he’ll be able to stay awake. Trust me when I say he won’t be in pain, definitely not. And I brought a cone, too, just in case he freaks. I came prepared, Grian, prepared I tell you. I’m no large animal vet, but you could say I’ve been quite involved in many a procedure.”

“Scar, what are you giving him?”

“Like.” Scar paused, tapping the smile on his lips, “A lot of morphine.”

“Morphine?”

“Works on fish. Mumbo’s big, he can handle it, and anyway, it’s the safest option for everyone involved. Are you worried about our friend, Grian?”

“I’m not- how did you even get morphine, Scar?”

“Scar’s not taking any more questions at this time, please call back later. In the meantime, hand me that fish so we can get this show on the road. I’ll stay with him as long as he needs me, but I’m not expecting anything to go wrong here. Still, the sooner we start, the better.” Scar got to his feet, taking the fish net from a gaping Grian and heading back to his bag. Mumbo couldn’t quite see what he was doing, but Grian followed quickly after, fretting the entire time. What, was something wrong with the fish? Scar didn’t seem to think so.

Maybe Grian hadn’t wanted Scar to give Mumbo his catch, but Scar did regardless. Mumbo was more than happy to accept the gift, only throwing Grian one mildly guilty look before devouring the whole thing. He didn’t feel very bad, not really; clearly the humans ate well enough, and given he was having a hard time hunting right now, this seemed fair.

Eating only served to brighten his mood, and with the slight weight off his chest, watching Scar continue working on his human device was all the more fun. Grian went back to fishing on his rock, but he was acting more anxious than normal, stealing glances toward Scar and Mumbo just about every time he cast his line. Though, it didn’t take very long for Mumbo to stop caring, far more intrigued by whatever Scar was up to. It was crazy how much better he was feeling; usually the joy of eating didn’t carry so far after a meal, but when Mumbo was this hungry..

And then it hit him; he wasn’t in pain. The lightness he was feeling was from the lack of hurting- oh that couldn’t be good. What kind of fish was that? He hadn’t even looked! Please say he hadn’t accidentally poisoned himself… Mumbo didn’t feel nauseous though. And if he’d poisoned himself, he imagined he’d be feeling a lot sicker. And he had so much energy! Anyone with this much energy wouldn’t be poisoned, that would be ridiculous! He should do something- go somewhere- hunt- he could do anything! … Nevermind.

Not in pain, no, but tired, goodness, maybe he was dying. Probably not. But maybe. Honestly, he didn’t care all that much. Scar was looking at him an awful lot now, though Mumbo wished he would focus on his invention instead so Mumbo could figure out what it was before he died. Hm.. It kind of looked a little bit like his splint, didn’t it?

…

The gentle touch of skin on scales. A presence around his neck, tight, mildly uncomfortable, but not enough for Mumbo to want to do anything about it. A crack, loud enough to frighten him, to open his eyes, but there was no pain, so it must not have been bone. Something was draped over his eyes, dark like home. It was nice. A couple of clicks told him of Forces, big and near and moving; he should probably swim away, but that’d be quite a bit of effort, wouldn’t it. Maybe another time.

His fins rose and fell with the presence and absence of touch. Not unpleasant. Not until they tried to lift him.

Pain like thorns lit his blood, everywhere, pain, pain- Some sort of noise escaped his throat, something animal, and he moved without coordination- it hurt, everything hurt now. Distantly he heard them, humans, why were humans here? Talking, they were talking nothing, repeating the same words again and again, “It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay.” Couldn’t they see he was in pain? Why weren’t they helping?

Too much time passed before his attackers released him, but wasn’t sitting in the water the same as before. It was awkward, unpleasant honestly, but he stopped struggling quickly. Too painful to move. Too much effort.

He wanted to curl up. Somewhere dark, somewhere enclosed and safe. Something hard stopped his movement. Guess that was that.

But maybe that was fine.

Whatever had been there was gone now. Nothing else was trying to hurt him. That was good. That was enough.

…

The humans were talking. They were loud, Mumbo could hear them, though his face burned just slightly, a dry feeling. Was he above the water? It didn’t much concern him.

“He’s still asleep, Scar.”

“That’s fine. Normal, even. He’s going to be fine; if he was going to have any bad reactions, I’m pretty sure we would have known by now. I’ve been keeping an eye on his breathing, and it’s stayed consistent this whole time. He’s okay.”

“You said four hours. It’s been five.”

“Yeah, for a human on a human dose. I also told you I don’t know exactly how it’ll work on a mermaid. I doubt anyone knows. I gave him quite a bit more than a human dose anyway, and I’m pretty sure he needed it. He was freaking out when we were trying to get the splint on.”

“I just don’t like the fact that we drugged him without being sure how he’d react.”

“I don’t know what else you wanted me to do, Grian. He was not going to let us touch him, and I don’t think there’s any world in which we could have explained what we were trying to accomplish. Tail injuries could be fatal for mermaids, we don’t know. How’s he supposed to eat if he can’t swim? It’s not like we can weigh him. This was the safest option.”

“You really think we couldn’t have explained it to him? He’s smart, Scar, he’s really observant.”

“I don’t know, I think there’s a chance. But what would happen if he got scared? Even a human might’ve panicked, even if they knew every detail about what we were doing. And you know how strong he is- I’ve still got bruises on my arms from where he grabbed me. He could have hurt himself or us completely by accident.”

A long silence. “I know.”

A longer silence.

“So when’d you change your tune?”

“What?”

“About Mumbo. Nearly every day two weeks ago you made sure to remind me how you were totally going to kill him and sell all his parts or whatever, but I haven’t heard a peep from you since Monday. Did you come out here without me and have some sorta spiritual experience or what?”

“I- no. Of course not. I’m still planning on doing that, I just decided I’d spare your feelings and stop talking about it.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yes! And anyway, with you paying me egregious prices for my fish, I’m not exactly hurting for money right now. So it’s fine. I’m not in any rush.”

“That’s good to know.”

“Stop- stop talking at me like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like you don’t believe me.”

“Well, Grian, that’s going to be a problem because you’re right, I don’t believe you.”

“I- how dare you! I am going to do it! I could do it right now even, but I won’t, and not because I don’t want to, but it wouldn’t be fair, not while he’s all drugged up.”

“I see.”

“Stop it!”

“I believe you, I believe you.”

“No you don’t!”

“Shhh,” Scar said, his voice dropping, “No fighting,” he trailed off, and the silence was charged with something new, something Mumbo picked up on even in his half-asleep state.

“No fighting,” Grian repeated softly, “He wouldn’t like that.”

“Mm,” Scar acknowledged him quietly, but spoke no more words, and neither did Grian. That, or Mumbo had just fallen asleep again. Possible, all things considered. That was okay.

[moonysreid]

being the youngest dimitrescu

just a few lil headcanons to get me back into things after being sick

if you can’t tell when reading this.. i’ve been hyperfixating so i got carried away

• being absolutely coddled

alcina is very overprotective with all of her daughters but it just seems to be next level with you, especially when she finds you shivering in the library (there has to be a fire constantly running in there now)

• pretty much everyone but mother miranda thinks you’re adorable - karl would never admit that fact to anyone though

• having a love hate relationship with dani in the beginning

daniela didn’t like the prospect of no longer being the youngest child, but once she met you she learnt that you were the only one that would play with her whenever she wanted to

• the maids somewhat tolerating you

you aren’t like cassandra or dani when it comes to the maids - you don’t see them as toys to torture and gut when you’re bored

if you were to ask a maid to describe you they’d probably say you’re curious because they’ll often find you in random tunnels/rooms - when you find a new area they have to tell head-maid so that’ll the area is kept warm enough

the many many questions you ask them do tend to get on their nerves but, still, the maids would rather be on duty to you than to your sisters

• your aunt is probably your biggest admirer

donna absolutely adores you!!

you visit her often when the weather is on the warmer side - the both of you tend to the garden (you end up always bringing home a bouquet for your mother which she treasures more than she would an ordinary bouquet)

it probably helps that you and angie get on like a house on fire… or a kitchen on fire because that has definitely happened when the two of you are left alone

• in the eyes of mother miranda you’re just another failed experiment that she can dump with alcina

but of course alcina loves you as if you were her biological daughter, just like bela, cass and dani

• chasing men around the castle for fun

when alci wants just a few moments of peace and quiet - away from your constant presence at her side - she lets a man thing run around for you to chase

of course the man is never of full strength, they’re always somewhat crippled - because your mother doesn’t want to cause any of her daughters harm with that kind of threat

• karl would often create vessels to keep you occupied

if everything he created tried to hurt you though he would immediately destroy it

• sitting with moreau at the lake

not many people visit him, so you like to take it upon yourself to help him feel less lonely

• taunting the scarecrows that are dotted around the village

seeing as miranda often turn men into scarecrows there were many that littered the place. you don’t care much for the men so it’s always a bit of fun to taunt them and you skip past

[chaoticstarlightwonderland]

Kuzuhina love pollen/schmexy despair disease aftermath

So a common trope we’ve all seen before is some sort of aphrodisiac/love pollen/sexy despair disease infecting our beloved sdr2 cast. I want to skip the fun stuff and talk about the consequences.

Hajime and Fuyuhiko are with each other when it happens (i’ll say this take place during chapter 3) and it causes them to get all hot and flustered and the two start making out (and more~)

((sorry I don’t know how much I can say without getting banned from tumblr))

But what about the aftermath. It would be hard to go back to normal after spontaneously having sleeping with each other. And we’re talking about Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu here! The man who stabbed himself in the stomach as a form of apology. Obviously that didn’t work out the last time, but he has to do SOMETHING…

Fuyuhiko disappears for few hours if there are still sick people or a murder to investigate, a few days if it’s free time. Hajime is too much of a tsundere to analyse why it bothers him so much being left alone afterwards. Hajime is not at all self-conscious about his body, about how Fuyuhiko felt about it. If Fuyuhiko was disgusted by having to get physical with Hajime, or if Hajime was generally unpleasant at all. Hajime is not thinking about that at all no sir.

Fuyuhiko returns and the first thing he says to Hajime is “I’ve come to take responsibility as a Kuzuryuu and as a man!!” And pops out an engagement ring. The tiny mobster bows but doesn’t get on his knees cuz he doesn’t want to appear any shorter than he already is. The engagement ring itself is either something nice he got from Monomi/Chiaki through their ‘digital powers’ or if failing that, a ring pop from the store because that was the best he could find.

Hajime’s jaw drops to the floor. There are so many concerns on his mind. Responsibility? Is that really necessary? Yes Hajime wanted to talk to Fuyuhiko about it but marriage was the last thing on his mind. What would Hajime tell his parents? How would Fuyuhiko’s parents react to this? They’re still on an island in a killing game with no way out and Fuyuhiko’s top priority is setting up a shotgun wedding???

Hajime is feeling a mixture of embarrassment, surprise, and little bit of offence since it comes across like Fuyuhiko is worried that Hajime has become “spoiled goods”. It’s not Fuyuhiko’s intention, his behaviour around this is a product of his upbringing. Hajime tries to refuse but Fuyuhiko won’t stand for it, he must restore both their honours at all cost.

Bonus: if this all happens in front of the remain students. If Ibuki is still alive she would be most excited and immediately offer to sing at their wedding. Kazuichi but be jealous that Hajime not only got laid but is also getting married (despite Hajime’s protests otherwise). Gundham might be disappointed that Fuyuhiko did not put more poetry, theatrics, gravitas into the proposal. Nagito is admiring Fuyuhiko’s conviction (though considering Nagito’s crush is kinda canon there’s definitely some mixed feelings here). Now SOMEONE, I don’t know who, maybe Sonia, maybe Ibuki, who knows, will probably theorise out loud that Fuyuhiko was the top during the two’s ‘relations’ and that’s why the blonde yakuza is taking his ‘manly role’ so seriously. Both Hajime and Fuyuhiko tell the person to shut up but don’t really refute it nyehehehehe.

And that’s all I got right before I go to bed. Enjoy this pre-sleep madness.

[darkfictionjude]

Not sure there's many things that totally repel me from IF's. But of the ones I've dropped (and one I played through to completion but only to give it a low rating, because of CoG's awful rate at the end system) common themes are:

Stoic characters who are just assholes, there's just a good chunk of RO's where the big, stoic one is I'm sure meant to have some nice side to them but they spend the entire time just sulking and barely reacting and its a real if you don't want me here I'll just leave sort of feeling (especially when contrasted against the firey one who just hates your guts and insults you which is far more likely to get a reaction out of me because at least its more entertaining.

Happy, bouncy RO's. Less of a put off then above, they're just usually boring and I skip over them every playthrough. Probably a few games where they're done correctly but more often than not meh. Probably not a coincidence that these two types are the ones I most often see as gender selectable but feel, or other readers definitely feel as male and female respectively.

Fantasy. I'm just sick of fantasy, maybe I read too much Terry Pratchett as a kid and growing up with the Royal Family being fawned over around me definitely made me look at a lot of fantasy tropes and wishing I could play as magical Robespierre. But I'd take just about any setting over this by default (minorly related but Modern Fantasy I'm also quite picky over, but I think that's because theres enough good IF's with it out there you can properly afford to be picky and the bad is more obvious by comparison).

Also haven't seen it in a while but one of my real pet peeves is asking me to define a relationship with a character when I barely know them. Pre-defined relationship? Fine can work within that. Asking me if I'm in love with a character before I've ever met them? What am I meant to say. Maybe it's there for the replay but I nearly always default to "I find them meh." because I have nothing to work off.

I do dislike bubbly ROs too 😭 it just seems exhausting to me

Now I do like fantasy but I do think it’s a genre that we should give more visibility to other genres I find that every time I see people get recs it’s the same 4-5 games and they’re talked about ad nauseam. I think it’s good to recommend popular games as long as there’s less popular games mixed in there too. Many games I’ve seen games that would be read more if people recommended them more since they have everything to be super popular

[vivianbernadetteaurora]

The Kennedys

Almost as we go back in time, in the beginning, the Kennedys were like the American Royal family, and we praise and liked by a lot of people, they had this liking and following, they obviously also had the other side, this happens with politics all time and we’re always given a certain agenda.

So I think you have to go do your own research, and find something in between the narrative you can see both, in one saying which I like to say is two things can be true. So what I wanted to talk about was the Kennedy curse.

The Kennedys were a big family who grew up in around Long Island, and the East coast of America, Jack Kennedy had a few sisters, one of which could rosemary, who then you could not be any sort of crazy, and it was all sort of branded is the same kind of, they were either schizophrenic or hysterical, hysteria.

Where is there is more labels which is a good and bad thing, but I think more of a good thing because, things get treated for different ways, if I’m being honest, a lot of mental health has not improved as well. Help with your mental health seems to be really hard.. Rosemary Rosemary, not acting how a Kennedy should, she skipping school, meeting with boys, and just doing normal teenage things. You’d probably call her nowadays, autistic or BPD.. but nothing out of the ordinary. anyway the father secretly has his daughter a lobotomised and this is another sad fact, ladies is 80% of lobotomy patience were women. so the evil dad gets her lobotomised for these behaviours that weren’t even that you know, for that time, maybe for that class also.

Anyway, he keeps it a secret from the family  years later to come ! But they talk about the Kennedy curse , two of the Kennedys , died in praying crashes along with JFK’s son his mother didn’t want him to die and wish was for him not to get on an aeroplane of course , like every other story . They must have deep family trauma that didn’t get solved in their lifetime ,,,,, and then two of the brothers to get assassinated . So this thing is real .

So as per usual lobotomy failed of course . And then the family didn’t visit her from many years later and until because I were kept in it it was kept a secret even the mum didn’t know .

But they were all about keeping up appearances , and very popular in there , establishment , and obviously . I can’t even imagine how the mum must’ve felt like where has my, the same time I’m thinking and I’m bombastically side eyeing the mum, she must’ve known. unless he said I’ve sent her off to a camp and only I can talk to her because that’s what those generations were like back then.😭🧐🤨😫 poor rosemary though, I hope she had a better life in a care home. Then around those sick fucks.

Then JFK Junior, he had a tumultuous relationship with his lady friend, were on an off for many years, soulmate kind of relationship, like very heavy karmic, which led them both, being killed in a plane crash, with him his wife and her sister. I even think how good-looking JFK Junior is when his parents weren’t that good looking, but he got the. Best Both of them. But their relationship was very erratic and they have arguments in the street and he have his dog and his bike..

[verslxt]

sick days ~ r. suna

yo yo yo! it’s me again 🤪. anyways…i’ll probably do a poll for each fic i write, probably. unless i have an idea and i already have a character for it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

rintarou suna ~ inarizaki 3rd year, been dating y/n since 1st year, won prom king with her a few days ago. middle blocker in volleyball

y/n ojiro ~ arans little sister, dating suna since 1st year. ecstatic that she won prom queen because she doesn’t think she’s that pretty. currently sick in her bed

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

you laid back down after arans daily facetime. you got sick like sick sick. coughing, throwing up, and a fever of 103.5°

you saw a text pop up from suna

baby daddy 🥰

baby where are you?

you typed back

sick

~sunas pov~

baby momma 😍

sick

“how did she get sick so soon” atsumu looked over my shoulder at me and y/n’s texts

“man i don’t know” i said grabbing my bag. “make up and excuse for me! tell them i got sick with y/n”

i grabbed my keys and walked out. i got to my car and started it. while i waited for it to warm up i made a group

tsumu 😐, onigiri lover 😋, baby momma 😍, toshi

yo make up excuses for me. i’m going to y/n’s house

~y/n’s pov~

you felt your phone ding

dumbass 😶, baby daddy 🥰, onigiri lover 😐, toshi 🥱

baby daddy 🥰

make up excuses for me. i’m going to y/n’s house

i typed back

rin you really don’t have to

baby daddy 🥰

yes i do

a few minutes later you saw a slouched over 6’1 boy enter your room

“hi baby”

“tired”

“same”

you opened your arms and he took off his shirt and layer over top of you.

“if i run out of the room will you hold my hair while i throw up?”.

“baby.”

“yes”

“of course i would”

~time skip~

“y/n dear-“

your mom opened the door to see you and suna cuddled up together. she couldn’t help by think of her and your dad at that age

that’s when you woke up

“hi mommy”

“hi baby. you feeling any better”

“yea, but i may still need tomorrow of”

“okay, i got you a little something”

you sat up straight as your mom took out a book

“you’ve been wanting this book for a while now. and your grades are outstandingly good”

she placed the book ‘a girl in pieces’ in your lap

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

the next day you woke up to suna coughing. and coughing hard at that.

“baby are you okay?” you asked rubbing his back

“yea, i think i just caught whatever you did”

“you want anything?”

“a shower”

you got up and started the shower for him, he wrapped his arms around your waist.

“can you text the group chat”

“yea”

suna kissed your temple and took off the sweatshirt you gave him. it always amazed you seeing his abs.

you got out of your bathroom and grabbed your phone

personal chef 🫶🏽

do need to text sunas mom and tell her you and suna got sick

future motha in law ❤️

did you and rin get sick? do i need to call the school?

you typed back

my child 😶

me and rin are now sick, sunas mom already knows

future dautha in law ❤️

me and rinnie are sick, but we’re getting over it slowly but surely. he is in the shower currently, i’m going to make him some breakfast

the better suna 🤪

gurl did my brother get himself sick

the better ojiro 🤪

lmao yep

you went downstairs and went into your kitchen

“hey alexa play maneater”

“playing maneater and similar songs”

“take it back, take it back”

you smiled as you grabbed out a pan. that’s when you felt two hands snake around your waist

“yes rinnie”

“a maneater kinda mood i see i see”

you giggled at sunas comment

“hey you have a notification on your phone”

“oh tell me who it is”

“the better suna”

“omg rin that’s your sister”

you opened your phone suna hunched over his head in the crook of your neck

the better suna 🤪

this boy is OBSESSED with you gurl

“she’s not wrong. first thing she’s ever been right about”

you laughed as suna kissed you

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

sorry, this is literally so bad!!! but i’ve been working on it all week. anyways you guys prob don't know what the contact names are, so i'm just gunna give you a run down of them

personal chef-momma ojiro

future motha in law ❤️-momma suna

the better suna 🤪-reiko suna

baby daddy-suna

baby momma, my child, the better ojiro, future daugha in law-y/n

[warriorbard2012]

Heey! Have you done 26. "Helping them build their confidence before an important meeting"? If not, may I request Vaxleth? Thank you :D

Hi Raven! Thank you very much for the prompt! I hope I did it justice! These two cuties are becoming one of my favorite ships to write for!

(A/N: This story is part of an AU I'm calling the Vax Lives verse, where Scanlan manages to use his wish spell to prevent the RQ from taking Vax at the end of C1. He and Keyleth are now happily married and are living in Zephrah.

Also, There is a trigger warning on this one for a mention of a miscarriage. No graphic detail is given, but it is mentioned. Feel free to skip this one if you need to.) 

“Breathe,” Vax gently took Keyleth’s hand. “Breathe with me.” She squeezed it heavily, which hurt a little, but he didn’t care. “Everything’s okay.” He gently casts Lay on Hands to try and get rid of the sick feeling in her gut.

It must have worked because Keyleth finally took a breath, and then she leaned forward and rested her forehead against his shoulder. “Ugh. This sucks.”

He let go of her hand to rub her back, ignoring the smell of sickness in the air. He hated this too. He hated when she was sick. But this… this was something that she couldn’t avoid. She just had to endure it, and he vowed to be right there with her doing whatever he could to help her feel better. 

“I know, love. Just a few more months, and hopefully, things will settle.” He kissed her hair and continued to rub her back.

“We are late. I hope Dad isn’t going to be too upset.” Keyleth said, her words still muffled into his shoulder.

Vax chuckled. “Considering the whole point of us having dinner is to tell him you are pregnant, I hope not.”

Keyleth signed and pulled away. “Is it too soon? I don’t want to get his hopes up.”

Vax’s smile faded and he gently pulled her with him into the window seat of their bedroom and sat her in his lap to hold her close. He put his hand on her belly. He could barely feel the bump where their child was slowly growing. Everything seemed fine so far, but so had the other pregnancy.  His memories went to the child they had lost before, and he said a prayer for them. He knew that miscarriages happen sometimes, but that knowledge didn’t take away the pain.

“That’s up to you, Kiki. I support you, and if you don't want to tell him yet then we won't.”

Keyleth sighed. “It seems stupid, but I’m worried that he’s going to be disappointed.”

“Why?” Vax asked softly, gently running his fingers through her short red hair.”Disappointed that we lost a child, or disappointed that we tried again so soon?” He was a bit confused.

“I don’t know,” Keyleth replied softly. She hesitated for a moment, gathering her thoughts, and then continued. “Maybe it’s just me, and I’m projecting.” She sighed. “I’m just excited, worried, hopeful, and scared all at the same time and I don’t know how to feel.

Vax nodded his head, understanding all of that as well. He gently kissed the back of her neck and held her just a little bit tighter.

“Well, the only way to find out is to tell him and see what he says. And for the record, I feel the same way, love. I’m worried about you and the baby, but yet I’m so excited that I could shout. I don’t want this one to end in disappointment and sadness, but some things are out of our control or understanding. No matter what I will be right here by your side, loving you through it all for as long as I can.”

Keyleth turned slightly to kiss him on the lips; then, she hugged him. “I love you. How do always know what to say to make me feel better?”

He grinned and gently teased her bottom lip between his before letting go. “Because I know you and I love you. I’ve devoted the rest of my days to making you happy. It’s my one goal in life.”

Keyleth found herself blushing even after the years they had shared. “Such a poet, my love. Careful, you will make Scanlan jealous.”

They shared a laugh, and then, after a few moments of resting, Keyleth stood up. She turned and held out her hand to Vax. “Well, I’m ready. Thank you.”

Vax allowed her to help him up, and then he squeezed her hand before letting go. “No thanks needed, Kiki.” He nudged her hip gently with hers. “It’s my honor, truly.”

She nudged him back. She bent down to reach for her bag, but Vax grabbed it first.

“Hey.”

“This is my honor too. It’s part of my duties as a husband. I’m the official bag carrier.”

Keyleth snorted. “Dork.” Then she put her arm in his, and together they made their way towards her father’s cottage.

Edit: 6/2/23 This has now been posted on AO3! You can find the link here!

[rhythmic-idealist]

Hi, everyone in the apartment is extremely beat.

[gross warning, skip the next paragraph if you’d rather not see it]

Here is some filler okay I threw up in the first hour of my shift today and had to finish the shift bc I’m full up on attendance strike “points.” Definitely not well enough to snag the OT I was gonna snag this weekend, but I’ll be good by Monday.

My laptop is broken because it fell off a table (completely my doing). This is livable, but making me sad because I was otherwise going to have an AMV finished by now, and I’m without my favorite low-stress hobby.

We have groceries but we’re all sometimes too goddamn tired to cook and occasionally ordering in, everyone else in this house is chronically ill and/or physically disabled, we’re all spoonies. I have to register my car so the cops don’t pull me over for being a year overdue. I’ve gotta get my control arm bushings replaced, and I haven’t done suspension work before so I don’t trust myself to do it myself. And, due to the age of Kitkat’s CRV despite the attentive care she took maintaining it, we’re down to my car as the only car.

I’m due for some doctors’ appointments— did something to my knee at work that is probably nothing (and yet I’d like to check in now instead of signing up for knee problems for the rest of my life). Chronic headaches that I’ve had all my life need to be addressed bc of how much harder they’re making the rest of my life.

So, this is an e-begging post, if you’re able. We Will Be Fine. My and my polycule’s parents won’t let us go homeless or hungry. This is…. if you like me and would like to make life nicer?

I’d like my hobby back (via laptop repair), and I’d like to be less sick at work which probably means less time cooking and more time to sleep & make some overdue doctors’ appointments abt my headaches and whether I messed up my knee.

My parents did send us some money recently & bought my plane tickets to visit home. They’ve got three kids to work out for and themselves as they get older— I’m not in any place to start putting aside money to help them out yet, though I am working hard to one day.

They would give me money for doctors’ appointments if I told them I needed it. I do however think they would not actually have the money to do that and be alright themselves, and so I don’t intend to ask unless shit gets very fucked.

And finally, I’m paycheck to paycheck and really, really want a medical emergency fund. But yknow. This post isn’t gonna make THAT happen. This is some short term “is anyone able to help me unfuck the next two weeks?” and then I’ll be healthier and more on target.

Thank you so much — and seriously, We Will Be Okay. We will be fine. This is a little (huge, it means very very much to me) treat to me.

Maybe I’ll spend this on the laptop, maybe something more essential! But it all helps.

PayPal

ko-fi (which takes a cut, but is still very appreciated)

Okay thank you for the help. Basically the main thing this post will probably determine is whether I get laptop repair done within the next two months 💗 but you know. Will also determine how few cooking spoons I have to spend and how soon I can get my life in order

Thanks love you all

[makemeanangelpure]

🩵May 30, 2024 - 113.0

🪽Day 1 of the 442 hour liquid fast

🤍I’m 13.5 hours in, 428 hours to go

☕️Today’s Cal limit: 140

I slept roughly 2 hours. Trouble falling asleep, waking up to pee every hour or thirty minutes and needing a minuscule sip of water. A little tired now but I’ll have my 5 hour energy and finish my 50 cal of coffee and go into a 7.5 hour shift. Truck day, so essentially 3 hours of cardio/weight lifting for me and 5 hours of on my feet slight lifting and reviving material. I’ll burn a good amount of extra calories today and tomorrow though, no truck then just the repackaging, maybe a few heavier things to haul around. I’m going to have one stall of celery when I get home. I’ll wait to have it at 7:42 pm where my partner can witness, alongside 2 baby carrots. That’ll put me at 75 cal for the day, and I get home around 1:30, so ill have a cup of tea while I wait for time to go, run the dishwasher and restock that, bath and shower, maybe wait to shave Thursday. Yesterday I drank a hard mike and a hard peach tea, ate a few things, threw up beforehand. Ended at 775. After I drank I didn’t have an urge to eat which is unusual but I’m assuming because I took medicine. It’s for adhd, not mine but I took it because I’d been thinking about it, thinking I might take one once a week and they’d never notice, just so I won’t get hungry. They’ve been taking it a few days and have been barely eating, I ate more than then the past two days and wanted to wring my own neck. They keep telling me about items of clothing getting looser, about our friends telling them they look like they lost weight, and they have, they do look different than a few months back. They’re taller than me and we’re in the 200-210 range and are now 189-199 and when you’re bigger, it comes off faster, it’s more noticeable. Really said something that messed with me yesterday.. and it was ignorance.. that if 10 pounds on me wasn’t that much different to them why would 10 more pounds be.. which they’ve seen pictures of me when I was 15-20 pounds lighter, they just haven’t been around me like that. I was heavier.. 10 pounds heavier than I am now when I started living here last year and if they don’t notice how I’ve dropped weight and my fucking face isn’t so round after just 10 pounds, I’ll just have to make them see and if anything they’ll feel a difference when they lift me up. Always picking me up around the house and carrying me places, jostling me but I want it to be easier. I want to hear them say that I feel lighter in some kind of form or fashion. The goal is to be 20 pounds lighter by June 28 so I’d be 93 which would break my old low weight:94, from 3 fucking years ago now. A baby shower on the 22 to go to so by then I’m going to try to be 97 for. The mother is someone who always copied me in highschool, and afterward and I just want her to really see how different we are. I also want to be the thinnest at a friend group gathering and I want her nosey mother to gossip to the others about how “ sick” I look. I want to eat a piece of cake with them and have it look seamless for me, because I’ll have worked hard to not worry about 350 cal of sugar for a day or whatever. To eat a little of what is made, not finish my food or my cake, and throw a tiny bit away.. like a quarter I guess. On Friday I’ll weigh and measure my waist, on the 22 I’m measure everything and then again on the 28. I last weighed last Friday so I’m going off that. My period seemed to skip a month but it’s irregular anyhow. My partner said it’s cause I’m not eating enough but I beg to differ. A lot of my days have been 1000-2000 days the past few weeks. I think it’s stress related. By the 28th, I’m going to drink again. Get blush wine and have two cups to celebrate things being better and I’ll be smaller and feel more put together, feel prettier when we get kissy buzzy and cuddle up close. Saturday I’m making a favorite dinner for them… I’m going to pick the smallest chicken for myself, cut it in half and then cut it into ( I’ll figure out how many pieces) 7 pieces of course 44 for a bite, 313 roughly for the whole chicken. One bite cause it’s a 75 cal day. I know he’ll cut it for me and be sweet.

[integra1127grimmreaper]

Psycho Lady Colonel - Clay’s Family - Part four

Clay Masterlist

1st series Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Part 3

Warning: swearing

“Hey, how you doing?” Pooch asks approaching Clay.

Clay palms his face, exhaling heavily, “not good…”

Pooch nods in understanding.

“Can’t say I understand what you’re going through, because I can’t. Even though we were stuck in Bolivia when Jolene was pregnant, I at least knew she was safe.”

“I can’t get the look on her face out of my mind…” Clay mutters out.

“She was scared, Pooch… I’ve never seen her that way before.”

“Of course, she’s scared” Pooch remarks.

“It’s not only her life that she has to worry about, but she also has to worry about keeping the baby that’s inside of her safe.”

Clay nods, staring vacantly out in front of him.

“Our baby…”

“Your baby, yours and hers…” Pooch pats him on the back with a faint smile.

“We’ll get them back safely.”

“I pray you’re right, Pooch” Clay murmurs, continuing to stare blankly ahead.

“Well, that was quite eventful…” Max stares at you with that creepy smile of his.

“Soon I’ll have my drive back, and Clay and his team will be dead.”

“You double-crossing-son-of-a-bitch!” you snarl at him.

“Now, now Colonel… calm down. Don’t want you upsetting yourself and making my boy sick.”

“Your boy?” you scoff, staring at him in shocked confusion.

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Oh, that’s right…” Max smirks at you, “I didn’t let you in on the plan, now did I?”

“You see, it’s come to my attention that I’m not getting any younger. It then occurred to me; that one day, I would need an heir to take over my empire once I’m no longer here.”

“What the hell does any of that have to do with my son?”

“Why go through all the hassle of finding a suitable woman to birth that heir for me, when I have the perfect heir candidate incubating right in front of me already.”

“You’re insane if you think I’ll allow you to raise my child!”

“That’s the thing…” Max grins at you.

“You don’t have a say, because you’ll be dead along with your baby daddy and his team.”

“You’ll never get away with it!” you hiss out, rushing forward to slug him.

“Ah, ah, ah…” Max tsks, pointing down to your belly as two of his men grabs hold of each arm to restrain you.

“I believe that the Colonel needs her rest after today’s festivities” Max instructs them with a hand wave.

You shoot Max one last venomous glare as the two men lead you back to your room then.

“Has the intel from Max come in yet?” Clay asks Jensen upon entering back into the room.

“Just came in” Jensen nods, tapping away at the computer.

“We have the location and time of the exchange. All we need to do is gear up and head out.”

“Good” Clay nods, satisfied at all the information.

“Everyone, pack up and get ready to leave ASAP.”

Clay sat silently on the bed, staring at the laptop screen that had the screenshot of Y/N’s faced from the video chat of earlier.

He should be busy packing like the rest of the team, but he couldn’t fight the need to see her face again.

She looked completely terrified, and it killed him knowing that there was nothing he could do at the moment to comfort her.

Y/N was strong-willed; a woman that didn’t scare easily, that Clay knew without doubt. But right there, right in that video; she was a mother in fear for the safety of her child, their child…

Skipping to the next screenshot, Clay felt his eyes begin to burn from the tears that were threatening to spill as he stared at the sonogram of his unborn son.

A son that until a few hours ago he never even knew about. He and Y/N should have been celebrating and preparing for the arrival of their little boy, yet instead; he was prepping for a rescue mission to bring her back home.

“I promise that I’ll bring you and your Mama home safely” Clay utters out, placing his hand over the sonogram shot.

“I promise, Son…”

[salti-thelatediagnosedautist]

Any other autistics left confused by live action media?

I rarely ever watch live action movies, but generally I have a hard time telling what is good acting, and what is bad acting (unless it is hilariously bad acting, like in twilight).

Often I will watch a live action movie and quite enjoy it, only then to afterwards read bad reviews. Or - alternatively, I will not recognise how amazing the acting was.

A moment that made me realise this recently was I watched the Moon Knight series. I really enjoyed it, don’t get me wrong. But then I was surprised when I watched ‘Cinema Therapy’ on Youtube cover it, and give the main actor (Oscar Isaac) extremely high praise for his acting. Nothing told me his acting was bad, I enjoyed watching him. But nothing clicked in my head to tell me that his acting was really super good, either.

I’m fairly certain that this... phenomenon(?) occurs because I don’t know body language or facial expressions (or even tone of voice) well enough to be able to judge someones acting. I often find it difficult or impossible to actually immerse myself in live action because all I can see is actors on a set.

I think this is a major reason as to why I (and a lot of other autistics) really prefer animated media. Watching real people interact in live action media is not nearly as engaging or clear to me.

In animated media, expressions are over-exaggerated, which makes it a lot easier for me to keep up. The amount of live-action scenes I’ve watched where the two actors are uncomfortably staring at each-other for extended periods of time is countless. Only for me to then realise later on that the scene was supposed to be romantic? Or even a respectful gaze? I cannot interpret those scenes AT ALL. No clue what’s happening. Then all the allistics go ahead and praise the wonderful acting. I’m just thinking “what happened?”. During scenes like this I always turn to my boyfriend and ask “what was happening there? I don’t get it.”

I think I also really like child-directed cartoons and animated media because there is often exposition. People like to make fun of exposition because to them, how the character should be feeling is obvious. But to me exposition is genuinely helpful and doesn’t bother me at all in most cases.

There are some live action shows that are more enjoyable to me because they are more clearly expressive, or plot based. But those are generally orientated to children/teens too. Think media like Harry Potter, Wednesday or Marvel movies. All of these kinds of media are pretty clear-cut on how characters are feeling. Usually because the show has a lot of other selling points to rely on (interesting characters, unique worldbuilding, special effects, plot twists, mysteries). Things like romantic comedies and drama pieces have never appealed to me because the core of their shows (good acting to convey complex emotions, in a subtle way) is literally inaccessible for me. I cannot consume that type of media and understand it at all.

Another interesting thing for me to note with live action VS animated media is gore (feel free to skip this bit if talking about gore is triggering to you, however it’s not graphic). Watching violence in live action media makes me extremely uncomfortable. I feel sick and want to run away. (There are a few exceptions where the gore is clearly fake and supposed to be funny, like in the recent film “Violent Night” (a pretty funny movie about a stuipidly violent Santa). But, in contrast, with animated media, I can watch the most bloody, horrible and violent scenes and feel nothing. Or just observe how good the animation is.

So yeah, basically TLDR; I love cartoons and don’t understand live action media because autism.

[talesfromthebacklog]

Random: A gamer’s diary entry for October 2023!

While I finish writing, and playing, my next backlog games I’m excited to add to the wishlist ‘Little Goody Two Shoes’. Which looks like it’s going to be getting a physical release. (Which I won’t be picking this game up until the physical drops. I already know I’ll like it.)

One of my favorite YouTube channels called Nostalook worked on the trailer (and I think the in game cutscenes as well) and their work is stunning as usual. It really captures the 90s anime look. It deeply reminds me of Princess Maker.

Also it’s a shoujo yuri. Female romancable characters only! (And they’re all so ✨ PRETTY ✨) I can’t explain how HAPPY that makes me. I just hope it stays in an innocent direction.

You know, because in majority yuri isn’t made for women. 😐

I get it, but at the same time I feel locked out of the content because it’s so obviously not for me. But that’s a complaint for a different post on a different day! Makes me wonder if men feel the same way about yaoi.

I was very bad this month. There were a lot of physical sales. And then my preorders for new games rolled in. I always prioritize my physical games over my… “digital” games, so those will be in the front of my backlog!

Let’s take a look at what I picked up! (I paid full price for nothing on this list. I am wickedly good at finding deals and coupons. Which upon review I will attempt to pass onto you!):

Traumatarium

Dredge

Omori

FaeFarm

Inescapable

Sonic Superstars

Coffee Talk 2

Moon A Remix RPG

I’m already playing a few of these games, so my reviews on those should be out next week!

I decided to skip this month’s two biggest releases altogether until about next year. I want the GOTY Spider-Man 2 when it comes with all of the DLC for $20. The first one was amazing. I’m just willing to wait on it. Which is a similar story for Mario Wonder. I mostly use the fall season to get all the titles I’ve been wanting for a freaking sick deal. Why should I have to pay full price?

The older I get, the more I feel like I appreciate weird games and indie titles more anyway. I feel like those other projects have the freedom to take more aesthetic risks than the big companies. Not because of the creatives inside (They tend to always have good ideas), but the stockholders. 🙄

I adore some of these triple A titles to my core, but I crave to see more new things too. Different things.

Dave The Diver is a good example. That seems rad. I like ocean games. I like that we get more of them now. I’m gonna wait and see if that one gets a physical as well. You collect fish to go back to your restaurant to make sushi? Sign me up!

Don’t even get me started on Limited Run’s releases this month.

While ‘Persona 4’ and ‘This Way Madness Lies’ are no brainers for me; I was EXTREMELY on the fence about ‘Persona 3 Portable’. (I did pick it up reluctantly)

The remake of Persona 3 will be upon us soon and I don’t know if I’ll want to play P3P again. The problem lies in the fact that most of these games become much more expensive later. Buying it on “launch” from Limited Run usually IS the cheaper option.

That shit annoys me so bad. I don’t like picking up games for value. But because the game might be value I have to be ahead of the scalpers and pay for it at its maybe cheapest.

I collect games because I like ‘em. I want to play them and love them. I want to use my stuff. I don’t give a fuck about the “value”. I respect the folks that do care about that stuff but I plain just don’t.

But that’s also just kinda life. Not much can be done about other people. You can only truly control yourself. 🙄

Overall October has been an exceptionally excellent month for gaming! We’ve had so much good stuff come out this fall season. I’m excited for next month as well! Super Mario RPG will be making its re-debut and I can’t wait to talk about that one!

[hopefulromances]

Okay so I just have to rant about my day. There’s some pretty gross details (animal fluids and such) so I’m gonna put it below a line. This is just so I can get it out of my head. Feel free to skip.

TLDR: I was rejected by my hinge date in a cold way after he asked me out, I’m taking care of a sick dog with irresponsible owners, and I’m basically at my lowest with no purpose in life cause I can’t find a job due to the writers/actors strike in Hollywood.

Edit: forgot to mention that I got locked out of the house and had to climb the fence and jump over and I scrapped up my arm. 🫠🫠

My day started out with a text from a guy I’ve been chatting to on hinge. He seemed like a rlly nice guy and was super flirty with me. He asked me out a few days ago in a very forward way that I thought was nice.

But the text I got from him this morning was basically “my roommate invited me to go to a music festival so I’m gonna rain check our date, sorry” and I haven’t heard from him since. That seems bad right?

Well it gets worse. Basically I’m house sitting these two cats while also going over and walking another dog for the weekend (making money during a writers strike amiright) and things have been going fine. The dog was fine this morning. Went on our normal walk, she went to the bathroom and was fine.

TW cause this is where it gets rlly gross.

I come back for the night walk and she has gone to the bathroom all over herself and vomited all throughout her crate. The whole thing is covered in feces and she is too.

So I take her out and try to bathe her but she is not okay, shaking and stuff and gets me in the shower as well so now I’m soaking and covered in her mess.

I basically get halfway through washing her when she starts shaking and forces her way out to the tub getting water everywhere. But I don’t want to force her t cause she’s super upset. So I spent the next hour cleaning up her vomit and mess from inside the crate as well as the vomit that got on the floor (she vomits again while I’m cleaning).

I call the owners and tell them what’s going on but they have no back up plan. No vet no major cleaning supplies. And I can’t house sit cause I’m watching the cats. So now I’m wet, soaking in vomit and dog feces and I’m sitting on the floor and I just burst out crying.

A few months ago I was in the peak of my youth. I graduated magna cum laude having directed an acclaimed pilot with an internship that was looking to turn into a job. And now I’m sitting covered in dog poop and water, unemployed, with no prospects and no life and after having been rejected by yet another man in my life.

I’m currently losing it because I have no purpose or direction in life and what even am I doing in LA?

[aching-tummies]

Exhausted Inspiration

Phew. Going on 3 weeks of running on 1.5-5 hours of sleep each night. Exhaustion definitely has effects everywhere. I keep catching myself about to put stuff in the wrong place--like...opening the freezer when my intent is to open the microwave to re-heat my dinner or heading over to the sink with my phone because I'm attempting to charge it.

All of these early mornings and the stress of being exhausted and terrified I'll mess something up really bad has done a real number on my poor tummy. It's been very, very vocal lately and the noises from it just scream of distress.

I've gotten a couple of asks insisting on more stethoscope stories and I've been trying to put scenarios to words, but nothing yet. But...yeah...honestly, within the last week and a half a stethoscope was not necessary to hear my stress-y belly squelching and twisting itself into knots.

Early mornings suck because it really screws with my eating schedule. Usually, it takes around 2 hours after waking for my stomach to start feeling hungry. If I eat before my stomach is ready for anything, regardless of how big or small the amount is, I'll get twinging cramps in my belly for an hour or two. The kind of cramp where it feels like my entire digestive tract is clenching all at once. Unfortunately, early mornings and lack of sleep mean that often, I'll find myself forced to scarf something down within 10 minutes of waking because my next opportunity to eat a meal won't be for another 6-8 hours. Transit in my area is horrid so I always end up at the stop at least two and a half hours before my shift, just in case two buses skip/fail to show up (more common than one may think). This set-up means I'll often end up forced to eat a quick breakfast at home, or wandering the nearby area aroudn my workplace, looking for affordable food that is least likely to give me a stomach ache before work. Poor stomach has been through the wringer the last few weeks, being fed at odd times and with varying amounts. Honestly, it's no wonder it's just been a constant ball of 'upset' for at least a week and a half.

The noises with the stethoscope are interesting. It honestly feels like my guts are reacting to the firm thing being pressed deeply into them. The best spot I've found is somewhere between my navel and my left rib--right under either the stomach-organ itself or the duodenum. Like, if I catch it at a good time, struggling to empty the stomach-organ, then I can literally hear the stuff churning around and being squeezed through to my intestines.

Anyway...I might finally get a chance to indulge in this kink over the next day or so. It'd be nice having some inspiration.

For those asking for more stethoscope content--inspire me. Where would you put it if you were here? What state is my stomach in in terms of digestion, stress-y belly, sick? What would you do if my stomach wasn't quite as vocal as you wanted--even with the stethoscope?