#and Tongbi goes 'oh she accidentally set off an ancient trap that caused a sinkhole'

[hyperfixation-tangentopia]

We're doing more incorrect quotes, with bits and pieces of the other cast, because I feel like Chikao and Tongbi tonight and said so.

Tongbi: Why does Nezha always do the laundry so loudly?

Chikao: So everyone knows that no one helps them out in the house.

Nezha: walks into the kitchen, ignoring everyone

Nezha, in the distance: slams the washing machine shut

Tongbi: Hey, Nezha, how was your day?

Nezha: picks up an onion and bites into it, staring at Tongbi Hell.

Nezha: Where’s Chikao?

Chikao, watching this unfold: whispers Who hurt you?

Tongbi: Around.

Nezha: Around?

Nezha: You don’t have any idea, do you?

DBK: I haven't seen Chikao and Tongbi for fifteen minutes now.

Chikao, dropping down from above: Did you know there’s a space above the ceiling?

Outside a nearby window, a car without a driver inside is seen rolling down a driveway, with Chikao and Tongbi running after it in a panic. DBK doesn't look outside at all.

Chikao: Welcome to Fucking Applebees, do you want apples or bees?

DBK: That probably means they're getting into trouble.

DBK: Bees?

Chikao: THEY HAVE SELECTED THE BEES!

DBK: Wait-

DBK: Something tells me Chikao's going to be a bit more unhinged today…

Tongbi approaches, shaking a jar of bees menacingly

Tongbi: Is there anyone here who’s actually straight?

Chikao, holding a lit match and a bag of cheetos: Leave me be, Tongbi isn't home to stop me, I'm going feral.

Wukong: raises hand

Chikao: puts their hand down

Chikao: Do you guys want to see a butterfly?

Tongbi: Ooh, yes please!

Wukong, with their laptop open: I'm not going to stop working to look at a stupid bug!

Chikao: It's not a bug though…

Wukong: …

Tongbi: …

Wukong: Well I still don't want to see.

Tongbi, realizing: Please don't throw-

Chikao, in Macaque’s window: I thought I’d find you here!

Chikao: Whee! throws a stick of butter

Macaque: Hey, did you know as a kid I accidentally ate paper?

Tongbi, climbing past Chikao: WE COULD HAVE USED THE DOOR-

Tongbi: I feel like we've all done that at least once.

Chikao: I ate it too-

Tongbi: See?

Chikao:: -On purpose…

Chikao: Who else is hiding in the laundry room trying to listen to DBK and Wukong's convo?

Macaque & Tongbi: …What?

Azure: Me. I'm in the laundry basket.

Tongbi: I'm in the washing machine.

Macaque: I'm in the closet.

Azure: We accept you Macaque. <3

Macaque: No I'm literally in the closet.

Macaque: Rules were made to be broken.

Azure: Love is love. <3

Tongbi: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken.

Wukong: Uh, piñatas.

Azure: Glow sticks.

DBK: Karate boards.

Chikao: Spaghetti when you have a small pot.

Macaque: Rules.

Azure, walking into their house: Hello, people who do not live here.

Tongbi:

Tongbi: Hey.

Chikao: Hi.

Macaque: Hello.

DBK: Hey!

Azure: I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only!

Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker

Wukong: We were out of Doritos.

DBK: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.

Everyone:

Azure: …I did. I broke it.

DBK: No. No you didn't. Chikao?

Chikao: Don't look at me. Look at Tongbi.

Tongbi: What?! I didn't break it.

Chikao: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?

Tongbi: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.

Chikao: Suspicious.

Tongbi: No, it's not!

Macaque: If it matters, probably not, but Wukong was the last one to use it.

Wukong: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!

Macaque: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

Wukong: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Macaque!

Azure: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, DBK.

DBK: No! Who broke it!?

Macaque: DBK… Chikao's been awfully quiet.

Chikao: rEALLY?!

Everyone starts arguing

DBK, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it.

DBK: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.

DBK:

DBK: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.