#and Terry falls under that category for me

[losthavenmine]

Advent Character Countdown❄️14th December❄️ || No. 11: Terry Thorne (Proof of Life, 2000)

[syrena-del-mar]

Examining the Use of Movie Posters in Dead Friend Forever, Episode 8

So, for the past few weeks I've been paying attention to the different movie posters in Non's room and we finally got a clear shot of the posters in Episode 8! A big thank you to @lukaherehelp, @slayerkitty, and @fiction-is-queer for helping me identify, track down, and discuss all the movie posters and their possible significance.

Before we jump in, I think there are some interesting trends that have come from the chosen movie posters that have been plastered on the walls. First, all the movies either have kids dying or kids involved in some capacity. Second, two of the posters were in Spanish (does this hint that New was in a Spanish-speaking country?). Third, several seem to be in the horror films. Fourth, most seem to take place out in nature (a la cabin in the woods.)

El Fuera de la Ley -> The Outlaw Josey Wales (1976)

Interestingly enough, Clint Eastwood's The Outlaw Josey Wales is the only legitimate poster that I have been able to find that Be On Cloud has chosen to use. I'm attributing this to mainly be due to American copyright laws.

For those that aren't familiar with U.S. copyright laws or just copyright laws in general, the law protects any tangible, intellectual property. Under the Copyright Act of 1976, as amended in 1978, any work that is made for hire, the copyright endures for a term of 95 years since its first publication. Movie posters do fall under this category. But this term of 95 years only took effect starting from January 1st, 1978, meaning that any work prior to this amendment was still controlled by the 1976 act. Under the 1976 act, the initial term of copyright was 28 years from the date of publication or registration. After the initial term, it could then be extended for 67 years for a total 95 years, but the copyright holder would need to actively extend the term. The Outlaw of Josey Wales came out in 1976, and assuming that the did not pursue copyright for the next 67 years, the copyright term would have ended in 2004. Meaning that Be On Cloud would be able to use the original movie poster without having to pay for the right of use.

Now onto the actual relevant portion of the plot. Josey Wales, a Missouri farmer, seeks revenge after his wife and son are murdered by pro-Union militants led by Captain Terri. Refusing to surrender to the Union, after the war, he ends up with a bounty on his head. Captain Terrill hunts down Wales and opens fire on him. Struggle ensues, Terrill draws out his sword and tries to kill Wales, but instead Wales take control and forces the blade through Terrill's chest and finally avenges his family. There is still a bounty for Wales, but locals cover him and tell the Rangers that came looking for him that he had already been killed. Ultimately, Wales has found his peace and rides off in the sunset, while you're left being unsure whether he survived or died of his wounds.

Now, I'm thinking this is where we're heading for the ending. After it's all said and done, I think this may play out in two different ways: either we'll never really truly find out whether Non made it out alive or we'll never know who the actual killer is. Either way, with the ending of The Hidden Character and coupled with the ending of this movie, I really think we're heading towards the direction where we're going to end up with a rather ambiguous ending. And if Non is confirmed dead, will it be Phee to be the last one standing after having avenged him? If Non's the writer and Phee is the killer, by Non's new storyboard and following Wales' story, he would.

La Madre: Love Never Dies -> Mamá : El Amor De Una Madre Es Para Siempre (2013)

‘Mama’ is a supernatural horror film that follows two young girls, Victoria and Lilly, who disappeared the of their parents' deaths but are later found abandoned in a forest cabin after 5 years have passed. They are taken in by their uncle Lucas and his girlfriend Annabel, but strange occurrences reveal the presence of a malevolent entity they call "Mama." As Annabel struggles to bond with the girls, Mama becomes increasingly possessive and dangerous, threatening their safety. Annabel offers Mama her lost child's remains to soothe Mama's anger but Lily's call interrupts, leading to Mama's return as she attempts to take the girls. Victoria chooses to stay with Annabel, and Mama and Lily fall off a cliff, before becoming spirits that turn into moths. At the end, you see one of the moths land on Victoria, likely showing the Lily would always be with Victoria.

Now at first glance, I thought this was just in reference to Non's tumultuous relationship with his mother, which I'll get to that in another meta, but the more I think about it seems like it parallels the corruption of innocence and the monstrosity found in humanity. In ‘Mama’, the corruption of innocence occurs not only to the children but actually to Mama herself. She becomes a malevolent entity after the loss of her child and becomes obsessed with the sisters in a twisted form of motherly love. Meanwhile, Non's life is irrevocably altered by the actions of the THC gang. They initiate the beginning of Non's life imploding on him. He's rendered a victim of relentless harassment and violence. The psychological and physical trauma that the THC gang put him through eventually breaks him and what little of his sanity that he had left. They destroyed him, intentionally. There’s no true remorse from any one of them, sans (maybe) Jin. Monsters do not always come in the shape of supernatural entities and the THC gang has proven that. They relentlessly tormented Non, manipulated and exploited him for their own gain, while showing little regard for the life that they, quite literally, traded in return for their own success. They may be haunted by te supernatural, hunted by a killer, but they were the first monsters.

"A ghost is an emotion bent out of shape, condemned to repeat itself, time and time again until it rights the wrong that was done." This quote comes directly from the movie and really sums up everything that the THC gang has been living and fearing. Non's movie is has come full circle, it's finally being performed the way he wrote it. There's no more hijacking of his film and changing the ending depending on who is skimming through the script. Instead, who ever is laying out these murders is fixing the changes made and following what Non wanted. And if he gets his way, nobody is going to survive this time around.

Considering the ending once more, it's going to be interesting if the DFF's ending parallels Mama's. If so, who is going to be the hypothetical sacrificial lamb? Will it be Phee? Tan? White? Or, has it been Non this whole time?

Whisper (2007)

Quite frankly, I'm not familiar with this movie at all, but I'm going to do a quick recap from what I could find online. In "Whisper," Max Truemont and his fiancée Roxanne seek a fresh start by opening a diner, but face financial obstacles. Max agrees to join his former partner Sydney in kidnapping 8-year-old David, son of a wealthy woman, for ransom. After the abduction, tensions rise among the group as suspicions emerge, exacerbated by David's ability to manipulate minds. It's revealed that David's mother is the mastermind behind the plot, claiming David is a demon with mind control powers. She urges Max to kill David, but she dies by her own hand when he refuses. Max ultimately kills David, unintentionally causing Roxanne's death in the process.

I think the obvious parallel here is the kidnapping that occurs. Yet, in 'Whisper', trust and betrayal are central to the plot where Max places his trust in Sydney only to betrayed when loyalties are questioned. Meanwhile, Non gets dragged into the movie by Jin, the one who places himself to be the friendliest of the group and is the only one that seems to want to have Non around. Out of everyone, Jin appears to be the closest to Non. Hell, in the present Tee even states that if Non were to visit anyone after disappearing for so long, it would be Jin. But we know that's not true, arguably the biggest betrayal comes from Jin. First, he films him getting sexually assaulted. Second, he lets Non get kidnapped by Tee and Top. Thirdly, he completely lies to the police officer about not knowing what happened to Non and actively frames Non as a promiscuous kid that ran away with his teacher. Jin was actively a bystander to Non's torment. Both narratives highlight the fragility of trust and the consequences of betrayal.

With that, ‘Whisper’ also revolves around the consequences of Max's actions. Max's decision to participate in the kidnapping of David set off a chain of events that screws up his whole life, quite literally causing the death of his fiancée. Here, Non's choice to continuously get involved with the THC gang really was the beginning of an end for him. Same with the decision to repay Por with the mafia's horse accounts... his choice to fix a problem with another problem shaped what little future he had.

Rivarium -> Vivarium (2019)

Again, this is another movie that I had to research. In "Vivarium," the concept of brood parasitism is starkly depicted through the introduction of a cuckoo bird. Gemma and Tom, a young couple, become trapped in a surreal suburban neighborhood called "Yonder" after being led there by a mysterious real estate agent. As they struggle to escape, they discover they are part of an experiment conducted by an otherworldly entity, with a strange child named "The Boy" at the center. Ultimately, the film concludes with The Boy assuming the identity of the dying real estate agent Martin, perpetuating the cycle of captivity and manipulation.

‘Vivarium’ explores the theme of cycles and repetition, as Gemma and Tom find themselves trapped in a seemingly endless loop of confinement and captivity. Despite their repeated attempts to escape, they always return to the same house, number 9, mirroring the cyclical nature of brood parasitism found in nature. Non finds himself in the vicious cycle of abuse and retaliation, where every time that he tries to fix one problem, he gets in another. No matter what he tries to do to dig himself up from his hole, it only leads to further escalation and harm to himself. @lukaherehelp and @fiction-is-queer made good points that in this case, Non is the 'bird' that the 'cuckoos', the THC gang, used for their own benefit. And now that Non is gone, the loop restarts, only now it’s Phee and Tan’s turn to infiltrate the group that has caused Non’s ruin.

The Devil (2010)

Now, this is the only movie poster that is not found in Non's room, but is actually located in Jin's.

‘The Devil’ revolves around five strangers that become trapped in an elevator. As they struggle to escape, it becomes apparent that one among them is the Devil incarnate, manipulating events and tormenting the others with a series of disturbing manifestations. Meanwhile, outside the elevator, a detective investigates the strange occurrences, gradually piecing together the connection between the trapped individuals and the sinister presence haunting the building. As the situation inside the elevator becomes increasingly dire, the characters are forced to confront their darkest secrets and sins, each suspecting the others of being the Devil in disguise. Once they deny their sins, the devil is able to claim their soul. The Devil is unable to claim the last survivor's soul, because Tony confesses and repents for having killed a family in a car accident and fleeing the scene.

This one I find to be incredibly interesting, because I can't help but wonder if this is foreshadowing Jin's journey. To gain forgiveness, you first have to admit your faults. Jin has to first acknowledge the harm he has caused Non, since he constantly postures himself to be the 'nice guy'. Now the question is will he continue to be a coward and deny that he had any part in Non's disappearance, in Non's mental break down, or will he 'confess his sins' and face the consequences of the reality that he helped create?

Final Thoughts

If you read all the way through this... first off, thank you, because this might just be my longest meta.

I might just be reading way too into this show and maybe they just needed movie posters to demonstrate Non's interest in filmmaking, but Be On Cloud is known for paying attention to their minor details. Plus if Non's t-shirts can speak, why not his movie posters? Especially when they gave us such a clean shot of the foreground in today's episode.

Everything beyond The Outlaw Josey Wiles is pure speculation, since there's no exact movie poster that I could find. It’s going to be interesting to see if DFF's ending mirrors any of the endings in the referenced movies.

[charliegyrth]

Alex Gets Soft - Part 4

Our New Work-Out Routine

Read Part 3 here.

Alex hurried into the kitchen and sat at the counter. He had a notepad in front of him for some reason.

“What’s that for?”

“A shopping list!” he declared. He’d divided the paper into six columns with a different label at the top of each one: Drinks. Snacks. Breakfast. Lunch. Dinner. Miscellaneous.

“What’s miscellaneous for?”

He shrugged. “Spreadsheets always have a miscellaneous section. Duh. Can you fix me something while we brainstorm?”

I rifled through the fridge, but we really didn’t have much. Neither of us were big eaters and we hadn’t gone shopping for a couple weeks. We had oatmeal, some bran cereal, some eggs, and a packet of hot dogs.

He considered his options. “Do we have any more butter?”

“Yeah. Three sticks.” I looked closer. “Actually, two and a half. One has a suspicious bite mark in it.”

He laughed. “Guilty.”

Jesus. This guy was a garbage disposal. I made scrambled eggs, fried up the hot dogs in butter, and heated up the remaining oatmeal with the rest of the butter mixed in. The oatmeal ended up looking grossly yellow from all the butter, so I added a lot of sugar to make it more palatable.

As I cooked, Alex was filling out our shopping list and narrating everything to me. Here’s the gist:

For drinks, we were going to load up on Coke and Sprite. No diet, of course. He also wanted hot cocoa mixes and half-and-half. He also mentioned “mass gainer” something. I assumed it was a powder that he’d add.

“Oh, and ice cream!”

“Shouldn’t that go in the snack category?” I asked.

“You’re right! I’ll put it in both. Vanilla for drinks and all the other flavors for snacks.”

Then we got to breakfast: eggs, bacon, butter (with three exclamation points), biscuits and gravy, pancake mix, and syrup (more exclamation points).

Once he got to the lunch column, I give him his oatmeal and scrambled eggs. I started to scoop the fried hot dogs onto a plate, but he stopped me. “Pour it into a bowl, babe. We don’t want to waste anything.”

By “anything,” he meant “grease.”

With all the food laid out in front of him, he slid the notepad toward me. “I’ll dictate,” he said through his first mouthful.

Under his direction, I filled out the lunch and dinner columns (a little bit of everything, including plenty of sauces and a ton of frozen meals to accommodate my subpar cooking skills). I was amazed that I could understand everything he said through the hot dogs and eggs.

It reminded me of our friends Terry and Rob. Whenever we visited, their three-year-old Braxton was constantly talking in gibberish and they’d have to translate for him. (Mostly stuff about dinosaurs.) Because they lived with him, they knew exactly what he was saying. I kind of felt like that.

When we got to the snacks column, Alex had finished everything except the oatmeal. Now that it was cool enough, he raised the bowl to his lips and scooped it directly into his mouth.

“Babe, you’re eating like an anime character.”

“I don’t know what that means,” he mumbled in response.

We had some trouble thinking of snacks. Because neither one of us had a sweet tooth, we didn’t have many guilty pleasures to fall back on. We had ice cream, of course. And I wrote down Reese’s, because I remembered how much he liked those last Halloween. After that, we decided to just write “TBD.” We could just walk down the snack aisle at Sam’s Club and grab whatever looked good.

“Done!” Alex announced proudly. Then he burped. The breakfast wasn’t massive, but it was still pretty big. And super buttery.

“So what should we write for miscellaneous?” I asked as he licked the grease off of his plate.

“I have no idea, babe. Just write… more ice cream.”

That made me laugh.

An hour later, we were walking through Sam’s Club. Alex was literally bouncing with excitement. We got almost everything on our list, plus an equal amount of things we hadn’t thought of. When we filled the first cart, Alex announced that he’d go grab another.

I stopped him. “You’re sure about this, right? A lot of this stuff is perishable, and we don’t want to buy too much now and…”

He grabbed my hand. “I’m sure.”

We got to the snack aisle and Alex’s excitement level rose to an embarrassing degree. Once again, he reminded me of Terry and Rob’s three-year-old. In the span of five minutes (I’m not exaggerating), he’d filled the second cart with packaged snacks. Most of them were things that neither of us had ever tried before. Moon Pies. Nutter Butters (five family-sized packs of those). Twinkies. Every form of donut.

At one point, he picked up a box of these weird-looking pink sugar balls and said, “Dang. These look gross.” But he dropped it into the cart anyway.

I won’t tell you how much we spent on that first shopping trip. The number seemed astronomical at the time. (Over the next few months, we got used to it. We budget things differently now.)

On the ride home, Alex finished off the box of pink sugar balls. (He was curious about that.) “These are terrible,” he kept mumbling as he shoved them into his mouth.

Back home, it took us a full thirty minutes to figure out where to place everything in our kitchen. Thankfully, we had an extra freezer in the garage, so that helped. But still, it took a while to find room for everything.

It didn’t help that Alex kept pausing to sample all the snacks. It also didn’t help that the sheer amount of food was somehow turning him on. Multiple times, as I’d slide something onto a shelf, he’d surprise me with a kiss.

Each kiss tasted like a different snack.

***

After lunch (a sandwich for me and three for him), I asked if he wanted to work out. We had a home gym that we both used regularly. Alex used it every Monday, Wednesday, and Sunday. I only joined him on Sundays (to run on the treadmill). It was our weekly tradition.

“I don’t know, babe. I’m pretty full.” He held his stomach, but it still didn’t seem to be poking out. And it didn’t look like the extra food was sapping into his energy levels.

“You sure?”

He nodded. “I was thinking about it when we were shopping. I’m really fighting against my metabolism here, and I think it’ll probably be best not to do too much physical activity for a while. You know.”

I didn’t respond. I wanted to remind him about our earlier conversation, about how I didn’t want his body transformation journey to be his sole focus in life. But he knew that. And I didn’t want to sound like a nag.

“Okay,” I said. “We can skip today.”

“We?” Alex said.

“Well, yeah.” I really didn’t enjoy using the gym the way he did. I only joined him on Sundays because I liked spending time with him. If he wasn’t going to be with me, then I didn’t see much use in it.

He walked closer toward me and wrapped his muscular arms around my waist. “Please? Just for an hour.”

I pulled away. I didn’t understand what he meant.

“Babe,” he explained. “I enjoy using the gym. And I’m going to miss it.”

“Then why don’t you—”

“Because of my metabolism!” he shouted, his voice sounding whinier than usual. “But I can be in there, watching you work out. And it’ll feel like I’m doing it. You know? Like, vicariously.”

I still didn’t understand. “So you want me to work out… on your behalf?”

“Yeah,” he said, as if the suggestion made perfect sense. “I’ll watch. And snack. What do you say?”

I considered the idea. I guess I could go along with that. I didn’t enjoy running on the treadmill, but I didn’t dislike it, either. And I’d still be spending time with Alex, which was the whole point, anyway. “Okay.”

He literally jumped. Like a little kid. “Cool!”

I changed into my workout clothes and headed into the home gym. Alex was already waiting for me inside. He had positioned his comfortable work chair in the center of the room, with a stack of snack boxes on the floor next to it. Twinkies and Nutter Butters, mostly. He also had a thermos, and I could only imagine what sort of unhealthy concoction he’d filled it with.

“Ready, babe?” He was already chewing on something.

I winked at him. It felt a little weird to have my boyfriend watch me while I exercised, but it was kinda hot, too.

I stepped on the treadmill and typed in my usual settings, when Alex asked, “What are you doing?”

“What does it look like I’m doing?”

He popped another snack into his mouth. “I was hoping you’d use the free weights. That’s what I normally would be doing right now.”

I’d never even touched the free weights before. Had no desire to. I knew that Alex enjoyed the pain of challenging his muscles like that, but it just never appealed to me.

But his expression was so eager, that I couldn’t say no.

I walked to the weight rack and picked up the smallest dumbbells. (Five pounds.) I’d seen him use the weights often enough to know what to do. I started by just curling them in a standing position. From his chair, and always with food in his mouth, he threw out pointers. How to stand. How many reps. Even how to breathe.

Slowly, I got the hang of it.

And honestly, it wasn’t too hard. I felt a bit of soreness, but not enough to stop me.

More than that, I felt more connected with him now that I ever had when we were exercising side-by-side. After about thirty minutes, I realized that Alex was doing a workout routine of his own. He chewed to the rhythm of my movements. He popped a new snack into his mouth every time I started a new set. His words were keeping me moving, and my movements were keeping him eating.

That connection was what kept me going. After who-knows-how-long, Alex told me that we were finished. As soon as he said that, I felt the soreness in my arms and chest. I guess my brain was blocking it. I looked over at my boyfriend, who leaned back contented in his chair. All the snack boxes were empty.

“That felt great,” I said.

“Yeah it did.”

I walked over and sat on his lap. I guess I pushed down on his full stomach, because he grunted a little.

His eyes got wide. “Babe! Look at this!” He squeezed his thumb and two fingers into my upper arm. My bicep was bulging. Not a lot, which was why he was able to reach his fingers so far around my thin arm, but it was definitely more than nothing. It’d be gone in an hour, of course. But it was nice.

Then I made a discovery of my own. “Look at this!” I pulled up his loose tank top and patted his belly. He looked down, grinning from ear-to-ear when he saw that he did finally have a belly!

It was just a bloat, obviously. And it would go down just as fast as my non-muscle, but it was definitely a badge of honor.

As he kissed me, I could feel his sudden hardness poke into my thigh. And not his stomach hardness.

Without speaking, I stood up and guided him into the bedroom. I was glistening with sweat, sore and tired and ready for Alex to take me.

He did. And the whole time, I felt his rock-hard tummy press against my back. He was gentler than usual. Slower. Despite my soreness, I took the lead.

God.

Read Part 5 here. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 You can also read all 22 parts of Alex Gets Soft in one ebook (with a bonus story). You can find all my stories here.

[scientistswishingwell]

what is it about podcasts? a reflection on reading aloud, by me.

I would love to know what it is about podcasts. In particular, I listen to podcasts with lots of story: audio dramas, anthologies and the like. I have listened to so many with such enthusiasm that pretty much every time I see my mom and dad, I have a new podcast to tell them about.

Audiobooks fall under this category as well. And at first I thought it was just that I could do two or more things at once. Listen to a story and work in a biosafety hood. Listen to a story and make pumpkin bread. Listen to a story and clean. But it scratches a totally different itch, I think, than reading a book or writing. And I think I figured out what it is.

Here is a non-comprehensive list of some of the books my parents read to me.

The Hobbit, The first three Harry Potter books, The first five Percy Jackson books, A Wrinkle in Time, and the rest of the Time series by Madeline L'Engle, Several of the Jeeves and Wooster books, When You Reach Me, Liar and Spy, every Ramona book by Beverly Cleary, and then some, The Wind in the Willows, Charlotte's Web, all the Laura Ingalls Wilder books, every Narnia book, Because of Winn-Dixie, the Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane, The Tale of Despereaux, From the Mixed up files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler, the Judy Blume Superfudge books, the Mysterious Benedict Society, Pippi Longstocking, several of Terry Pratchett's Discworld novels...

The list goes on. Quite a few of the books they read to me, they had read with their parents when they were children. We read aloud together through middle school and even in high school on occasion. When the power went out after massive thunderstorms, my mother read the Wilder books to my sister and I by candlelight. When we visited Mammoth Cave in Kentucky after reading the Battle of the Labyrinth, I couldn't help but imagine monsters around every shadowed corner. Between books we would go to the video rental store and pick up the film versions of stories we'd already read.

So i don't think it's the ease of access of the podcasts, or the acting or the voices or anything like that. Not that those things don't enhance the experience, but it's just not the true reason I love listening to stories. It's because the act of reading aloud, sharing a story, is so nostalgic to me. hearing someone spin a tale is a comfort I didn't know I missed until I thought about it. and i hope one day I can share this with my kids. There is nothing like the peace of storytelling.

[fantasyforbeginners]

Is there a way to write a compelling character that lived a happy life with practically zero trauma before the story starts and/or a character that’s emotionally mature but doesn’t lean into stuff like therapy speak? I mean, I love giving characters messed up backstories and godawful coping mechanisms, but I just think it’d be good for me to learn how to create ones without those.

Absolutely! One of my (main-ish) characters actually fits into both the categories you're discussing (his name is Bill and I love him a lot) so I'll use him as an example while also offering some others (Optimus Prime from Transformers/Transformers: Prime tv show in particular; Terry from The Dragon Prince; Jack Dawson from Titanic).

First, let's slow down and define therapy speak so even if I may be missing stuff / what you're thinking of, you can at least understand the page I'm currently on and better discern what may or may not be helpful to you if I get anything wrong! Therapy speak can mean many things, but usually refers to vague language pulling from therapy and/or professional psychology jargon. The main reason this can be off-putting is because 1) it can sound very informal and/or 2) depending on your setting can feel way too modern or cause breaks in immersion. (This was something I had to think a lot about in building a fantasy world where characters do, indeed, go to therapy, and mostly required thinking about how and why mental health services would've been formed, their own shortcomings and phrasings, etc).

So one good initial way to avoid therapy speak: modern edition might be to lean into "what would therapy speak: this fantasy world edition" fall under.

However: usually therapy speak can make a character feel less emotionally mature, because vaguer emotions and statements are often times less descriptive, tangible, and vulnerable than more genuine expressions that can be clear(er) if less formal or practised sounding.

So how do you indicate that 1) a character is emotionally mature while 2) avoiding therapy speak? There can be a few ways I think, surrounding characterization. A good example of a decently wise character who often counsels others with sound advice presented in a humourous / untraditional way is Jason from The Good Place (lots of clips available online).

My character Bill is also played more straight / with a more serious tone, so I'm going to talk about him a bit as well. He's the group mediator / peacemaker while not being non-confrontational, was raised with a stable mother figure his whole life, and he loves his friends and loves taking care of his friends. That doesn't mean he doesn't have his own flaws, pitfalls, or subplots (he does) but he doesn't have nearly the same amount of complexes or conflicts as well.

What he offers, I find, is perspective and goodwill. Another emotionally mature character could offer levelheadedness (Optimus) or optimism (Terry) and it's not as though Bill doesn't have those things, but most of the time when he's trying to diffuse conflict he emphasizes that 1) his friends are still all on the same team, working with and not against each other; and 2) to hear each other out and consider other perspectives:

Ally opened her mouth, unsure of who she’d yell at first. “You—” “Ally, you have every right to be upset,” Bill said. He placed a hand on her and Jamie’s shoulders, looking at Flames. His tone, gentle yet firm, seemed to make all of them simmer down. “But Jamie was doing what she thought was right and Flames isn’t responsible for the choices someone else made surrounding her request. She didn’t know.”

The reason I think (or hope) this sounds more real is because it's rooted in characterization, is somewhat reasonable for a regulated 15 year old kid to say, and isn't catching all the nuances, just most of them. He's not explaining their trauma back to them or anything, but is aware that each of them has trauma and each other's best interests at heart.

But for conversations where characters do kind of explain another character's emotions at them or directly counsel them, well... behold! Another example slightly tailored for spoilers for my book lol:

“You’re strong,” [Redacted] said. “You’re brave. You’re resilient. You never give up.” [Redacted]’s hands curled into fists. “I fail one time and I fall apart. You fail all the time.”  “Gee, thanks.” But there was no bite in it this time.

Both of them talk like real people would, particularly in not always phrasing things the right or perfect way. What's meant to be only a compliment or pep talk doesn't quite get there, there's some of Redacted's own emotions or viewpoint bleeding in (disappointment in themselves, etc), some sarcasm without malice, etc.

TLDR; I think a lot of it comes down to a few simple things:

Your character's gauging of another person's emotional state, or how they phrase their understanding of it, is likely not going to be perfect or dead on; real people miss things or mess them up, even just in small ways. Optimus is a great example since, while he's always ultimately Correct, sometimes he overlooks stuff (human customs) due to lack of knowledge and is always apologetic about it; it is very endearing and softly balances out him being infallible as a paragon

But if it is 100% then doing build up throughout to get there of why and how the character knows the other person (or phrasings) so well can be useful. This ties back into:

Using character voice and characterization to your greatest advantage. This can relate to age, backstory, previous experiences, etc.

Hope this was helpful! Feel free to send in any more asks about this (more specifics, etc) or any other potential road block!

[zedxspacess]

It's getting to the end of the year, and I decided to write a list for fun. Zed’s favorite things they experienced in wrestling in 2024 (doesn’t have to be from current year), documenting some joys I’ve had this year, discoveries, etc. The order isn’t definitive, but there is a sense of progression, and the stuff written later on is there for a reason. 

This will be part one, as I haven't finished writing my thoughts on everything, but I wanted to get this first section out at least.

FMW. It’s history and formation, from Onita’s background with American territory wrestling, taking what he learned about deathmatches and bringing it to Japan in FMW as a way to circumvent his limitations after his injury. He’s a carny POS, but FMW was such an interesting promotion with it’s uniqueness and grit, for better (amazing deathmatch stipulations!) and for worse (terrible injuries). Its creativity when it comes to deathmatch wrestling for both men and women, highfliers thanks to the likes of Hayabusa, is infamous for a reason and are definite must watches. Learning about the relationship between Onita and Terry Funk was unexpectedly sweet, and if I must recommend one match from FMW, it’s of course, the No Rope Exploding Barbed Wire Time Bomb Death Match. This feels so ahead of its time with how “cinematic” it is, while also being just a good wrestling match with heightened emotions and drama. 

Wrestle Kingdom 18. First WK I watched, first proper full NJPW show I watched, and it blew me away. Combining the pageantry with solid in ring work is a feeling I don’t think has been replicated in other promotions, not without the lack of trying. From the amazing junior matches, to the tv title, us title, Bryan and Okada, and the main event, it was a great first introduction even though I didn’t have full context for all the matches. I’ve always known about NJPW for years, even before getting into wrestling, through osmosis of following fans of the promotion over the years. In another world, I would’ve gotten into wrestling in the boom of the 2010s and have been a huge NJPW girlie (gender neutral), because it would’ve been so my shit. I’m glad to finally get into it after all this time. 

Deadlock Pro Wrestling (promotion and podcast). People like to lambast how modern American indie wrestling is dead, but there’s innovation and interesting things happening all around if you’re willing to look. DPW is one of them. I’ve only checked out a few matches (some of the MxM matches, Roddy vs Fuminori Abe), but I really need to consistently lock into their shows, because they seem so much fun. Their podcast though? A true joy to listen to every week that leaves me stifling laughter at my office desk. This is like the only podcast I don’t skip the patreon shoutouts for, maybe because I might have the humor and soul of a teenage boy and I laugh at every dick joke. Their patreon content reacting to matches or ppvs has also turned me onto matches and shows I either can’t find online, wouldn’t have checked out in the first place, or elevating the experience of watching a match I’ve seen before. They really emulate the feeling of cracking a cold one with the boys and having fun watching wrestling together. SKEEE WOAHHHHHHHH

AEW and ROH ppvs. Just a general umbrella for all those shows, it falls under the same category of me treating those nights like special events, getting good food and snacks, drinks, screaming my head off and liveblogging, having the time of my life no matter what happened during the shows. Summers spent on the back porch with my laptop and speakers out, or winter in my room. This also encompasses all the amazing, crazy moments in the ppvs, from all the Ospreay matches, Sting’s retirement, Swerve’s title reign, the dichotomy of All In and All Out, the crazy high quality of ROH ppvs despite people downplaying the promotion as “it should just be a developmental”. It’s all just a good time, crazy rollercoaster of good wrestling. 

CMLL’s Homenaje a Dos Leyendas. Watching/learning about CMLL in general was just an amazing, pleasant delight. The luchadores showing up in AEW immediately caught my eye, and it led to a rabbit hole of me trying to learn more about the history of lucha libre and the promotion. I was so excited for this particular show, and it did not disappoint at all. All the matches on it rocked, with lots of delicious variety of multimans, apuestas, and tag bouts. But the main event of the BCC vs CMLL? It was magical. That match, Dragon vs Blue Panther, and Fantasticamania MX felt like such amazing cultural exchanges/appreciation. I have my criticisms of how CMLL is treated in these cross promotion events as of late, but when they nail it? It’s good. I wish I had the brain power to regularly follow CMLL, the shows I’ve managed to catch are so fun, but as it is, I could barely follow two and a half promotions on the reg. I will go out of my way to seek the matches of guys that have caught my eye like Hechicero and Xelhua.

Fighting Network Rings and Volk Han. Volk Han is the best technical wrestler I have ever seen, full stop. He just is. Zack Sabre Jr is the current best technical wrestler in my opinion, and the best one in modern times, but if we’re talking about all time? On pure skill? Volk Han. The realism of it is what truly grabs me, treating an armbar like it’s a death trap, the use of a points system and rope breaks, the deadly precision when attacking limbs and the viciousness when it comes to pulling on them. It’s so captivating and I’ve rarely seen anything like it in current wrestling. Rings being a half shoot-work promotion definitely helped foster that tone, and I should definitely check out more matches from other members of the roster. This could also be a message for me to explore more shoot style wrestling or straight up mma, though I’m mostly just interested in the grappling aspect and not “legitimate” fighting. 

Despe Invitacional. My favorite cross promotional wrestling show of the year. It was just a fun show from top to bottom, showing love for a variety of wrestling styles from comedy to tag matches, death matches and technical wrestling. Not afraid to bring his friends on and have a good time, while also putting on his personal dream matches with amazing in ring work. Hiromu never doing a deathmatch before but bravely powering through the lego spots, and bleeding before the match even starts is just one example of pure joy found in this show. A true cross promotional event where Despe invited wrestlers from the JP indies, DDT, NJPW, etc. and have fun. And the glorious absurdity of that main event is. Wow. Despe really booked himself to wear a jockstrap and have Gedo’s face stuck in a man’s ass and balls. What a king. 

[sleepyhead-poll]

LIST OF REJECTED CHARACTER (SO FAR)

Under the cut is a list of characters who, so far, have been rejected. I am also listing the reason on why they are being rejected:

The following list of 5 characters have been rejected for falling more under the category of characters who have been comatose / hibernated / been in a deep slumber:

Aurora from Disney's Sleeping Beauty [NOTE: While Aurora from Disney's Sleeping Beauty herself is not accepted, other variations from the Sleeping Beauty story HAVE been accepted such as Shrek's Sleeping Beauty and Silver from Twisted Wonderland. The reason why this specific version of Sleeping Beauty isn't accepted is because her sleeping was not a part of her characterization- she basically just fell into a magical coma- but the accepted versions DO have sleeping as part of their characterization.]

Cthulhu from The Call of Cthulhu by H.P. Lovecraft

Flayn from Fire Emblem: Three Houses

He Xuan from Tian Guan Ci Fu / Heaven Official's Blessing

Robin from Fire Emblem: Awakening

The following list of 2 characters have been rejected for falling under the category of "one-off joke", i.e., their sleepy trait was a joke in part chapter or episode and not a consistent part of their character: (If I am incorrect and there are multiple instances throughout the work they appear in that alludes to them being a sleepyhead, feel free to send it to me and I will un-reject them)

Crowley from Good Omens, specifically the book by Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett

Pavel Iwaszkiewicz from Community

The following list of 2 characters have been rejected for being from real life:

Every cat [NOTE: Dude I literally said not to submit yourself or pets from real life. I know not every cat is a pet, but come on.]

The country of Montenegro [NOTE: Okay this was a funny submission but sorry. Not counting real people... or countries.]

The following list of 3 characters have powers that have to do with sleep, but don't seem to be a sleepyhead themselves:

Enmu from Demon Slayer

Faruzan from Genshin Impact

Sumireko Usami from Touhou Project

And finally, the following list of 4 characters are the rest of the rejected characters. I will list the reason why under their name:

Blathers from Animal Crossing. I haven't played Animal Crossing, but from what I can tell this character isn't actually sleepy, they're just nocturnal so have an opposite sleep schedule as the player.

Greece / Heracles Karpusi from Hetalia Invoking my "right to reject any submission". You could not pay me to accept a Hetalia / country personification into this poll.

Jack Townsend from Tales from the Gas Station Seems like an interesting book! But he seems to be an insomniac, which is the opposite of a sleepy character.

Sleepy Dwarf Character from Once Upon a Time (in Space) by the Mechanisms The submitter said they didn't remember their name which is why I said "sleepy dwarf character" instead of Sleepy or whatever their name is because I'm not sure if that is their name. I would appreciate it if you know the name of a character you are submitting. If they don't have a name, chances are that they are such a minor character that I don't think they should count. Not always, but usually. Supported by the fact that when I tried to Google the character I could barely find any information on them except that they sang on verse in one song in this entire album.

[ao3feed-ineffablehusbandz]

with wax melted under sunlight

with wax melted under sunlight

by unhookingstarswithoutpermission

He hits the angel’s left shoulder blade and Aziraphale yelps. Crowley panics.

“Shit, shit, shit, angel, I’m sorry–”, he keeps on murmuring, now holding Aziraphale’s waist with one hand and hovering the other on his shoulder, trying his best to soothe the pain even if he can’t heal the wound, not while he’s flustered and vibrating with excitement.

“Crowley”, Aziraphale says, infinitely gentle. It sounds like a question. “Did you just heal me?”, he asks, and he doesn’t sound upset – only confused.

Crowley pulls back and promptly deflates against the cushion.

-

Aziraphale hurts his wing during the Apocalypse-that-wasn't. Crowley, who was once Raphael, tries to heal him even if he's no angel anymore.

Words: 5054, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)

Rating: Mature

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley (Good Omens)

Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)

Additional Tags: Introspection, Vulnerability, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Love Confessions, First Kiss, 6000 Years of Pining (Good Omens), Post-Canon, POV Crowley (Good Omens), Soft Crowley (Good Omens), Crowley Was Raphael Before Falling (Good Omens), Religious Imagery & Symbolism, Healing, Praise Kink, not overt but it's definitely there, aziraphale is hurt and crowley heals him, crowley has some of raphael's powers still, Tooth-Rotting Fluff

From https://ift.tt/SUMxaTb https://archiveofourown.org/works/48886300

[popstart]

What ship/romantic relationship(s) would you think would be long-term/till death do us part type (if u have one of those)

the vast majority of total drama relationships are bleak as all hell and most definitely not long term, but that doesnt mean all lol

I imagine most ships with bridgette working out and "canonically" speaking (terry said on twitter) bridgette and geoff stay together. I see it. The time between action and wt was a fluke, world tour was a fluke, they get past it and love eachother and everythings ok.

Also now that im thinking about it i see rajbow lasting a long time bc theyre like. the domestic couple of all time. Bowie being raj's first gay crush does very little to make me seriously think they would break up. Ive known people who marry their highschool sweethearts/ the first person they date. its happened.

anyways thats it for canon relationships which people tend to agree with

as for ships, i see any bffs types lasting a long time. I think nowen is the best example of this. I cant think of anything they would realistically have enough conflict over to break up over lol

I guess still sailing on the bridgette express you could say bridgney. which. Also falls into the bff category. Im working with what i like here which is either doomed and tragic or actual bffls. Anyways similar situation to nowen i cant think of something that would realistically cause them to break up. The person that forever ago said courtney would be upset enough with bridgette to stop being her friend over her cheating on geoff was WRONG. they work everything out. live happily ever after. etc. etc.

As for couples that i think would decidedly NOT work out for one reason or another because i think that is also a fun question ill put them under the cut

I wont list every single god damn couple of all time because like i said, the vast majority of td relationships and ships are BLEAKKKK i will just say the ones that stick out to me or the ones that people seem to have different opinions on. I just wanna talk about this

Feels weird to put ripaxel here bc theyre essentially the same as bridgeoff but the difference between bridgeoff and ripaxel is 1) development time, 2) what development we see/dont see, and 3) time we've seen them together. We see bridgette and geoff courting for an entire season then at the end of the season we see the culmination of that and see theyre in a relationship. We dont ever really see them confess to eachother which means any damn thing could have happened in that time. Ripaxel though court for like 4 episodes and we see rippers confession and it is very bare bones. Bridgeoff last at the very least 3 years (if the rr ages are to be treated as canon) while ripaxel last….. a season. and we've seen essentially nothing from them. Anyways thats my 'why bridgeoff and ripaxel are different' thesis.

people seem to have it in their heads that gwourtney is a bffs type of ship and. You could not be more wrong SORRY. Ive said it before but if all stars is supposedly so bad at characterizing, whyyy is gwourtney the random exception. People that dont like the ship reasonably point out that their weird honeymoon phase in AS is not in character, and i wouldnt say its not entirely in character, but its certainly not what the ship is like long term. I dont necessarily think theyre doomed, I do however think it would take a truckload of working things out which is a coinflip of if gwen would be willing to go through that.

Ok moving on, heathney is most definitely doomed from the start. Ik this is my brand and i should have faith in them i just. Do not. I feel like if they met at an older age when they've both worked on themselves and mellowed out it could work, but I feel like they require such different things in relationships it would take. So Much Talking that the two of them would rather die than initiate. Heather very much shies away from physical contact and general loveydoveyness (all stars finale exempt which i have decided in my mind was them being annoying on purpose to fuck with chris) while courtney is fucking constantly initiating that shit (insert compilation of every time she rams her face into duncans). she is so CLINGY. anyways they would totally fight over their very conflicting ideas of what affection is like, nevermind the way they would actually get together would be infinitely fucked up in every single way. literally in every universe theyre fucked up and there is nothing i can do to save them i just sit back and watch.

im trying not to take the easy route and just list every single courtney ship but its so god damn easy shes so fucked up. every single relationship she has is fucked up, its time to talk about duncney. not even considering the fact they canonically break up in the show like 3 times, it was bound to happen eventually off screen/ after the events of total drama. Like, even if duncan never cheated on her, courtney was an awful fucking girlfriend LMAO. they were never gonna work it out since that is just Not how the two of them roll. At all. theyre both so emotionally closed off and distant that theyd have to go to so so so much couples therapy that neither of them would ever agree to to work it out. As is the case with all of these, i feel it could work out when theyve worked on themselves as adults, but the chances are slim. I think their time in island together was very honeymoon-phase-ish and if ISLAND is their honeymoon phase that really speaks of how bad their relationship can get.

[ddelline]

ch83—136 | a shibuya OST

what | 49 quintessentially shibuya sounding tracks from every which genre (except the overused nu-metal the fandom wants) blurb | encountered one too many threads about the forthcoming (incredible sounding) shibuya OST filled w "it’s not hard/aggressive-sounding enough to fit the arc"-discourse, which gave me a rash, bc music w/o screaming can also sound (&go) hard af. so that forced me to assemble all my finest genre finds under the category “aggressive/raw/claustrophobic/menacing sounding tracks”, ranging from electro/ebm/breaks/idm → art pop/electronica/triphop → psychedelic rock & more. tldr here it is: the result of me being Affronted By Someone’s Musical Opinion On The Internet playlist → spotify (cont updated) tracklist | under cut

1. Identified Patient — Low Kust instr

2. Tricky & Martina Topley-Bird — Hell Is Round The Corner distant drums bring the news of a kill tonight  the kill which I share with my passengers  we take our fill, take our fill, take our fill

3. COUCOU CHLOE — WIZZ high—not the first time (shh)  high—not your last time (shh)

4. Tzusing — Gait instr

5. Martina Topley-Bird — Too Tough To Die derision’s a cold wind against my skin  you keep a-flayin’ til there’s no skin at all  what’s to hold it together when you stumble  and you fall

6. Labrinth — Nate Growing Up player, player put the money on it

7. Smoke City — Devil Mood I feel in a devil of a mood being instilled by the devil  wicked hot, brings me so much pain  and pleasure I can’t keep away

8. Massive Attack — Risingson now you’re lost and you’re lethal  and now’s about the time you gotta leave all  these good people; dream on

9. Portishead — Wandering Star those who have seen the needle’s eye now tread like a husk from which all that was now has fled  and the masks that the monsters wear  to feed upon their prey

10. The Herbaliser — The Sensual Woman instr

11. Vessel — Red Sex instr

12. Björk — Hunter I’m not stopping: I’m going hunting  I’m the hunter—I’ll bring back the goods 

13. Sofa Surfers — Hardwire psychic shrapnel  the ruin in me  I don’t want no heroes  cause someday you see the wire

14. Dollkraut — Rollercoaster instr

15. Nearly God, Terry Hall & Martina Topley-Bird — Poems forget the punk, I pack the funk  I’m gonna take a piece of you

16. Tristesse Contemporaine — Daytime Nighttime I just keep crashing, living on my rations the bullets and the roses, devil and the poses  don’t know where my ghost is; don’t know where my home is  guess we never chose this

17. Tzusing — 日出東方 唯我不敗 instr

18. Björk — Army of Me you’ll meet an army of me  army of me

19. Erik Lundin — Gold my sight aims on the horizon  through my pulse  and my temperature rising

20. Amnesia Scanner & Freeka Tet — Ledge instr

21. Tzusing — Residual Stress instr

22. The Prodigy — Breathe breathe the pressure come play my game, I’ll test ya psychosomatic, addict, insane

23. Caterina Barbieri — Memory Leak instr

24. Radiohead — The National Anthem everyone is so near  everyone has got the fear  it’s holding on

25. UNKLE & Thom Yorke — Rabbit In Your Headlights fat bloody fingers  are suckin’ your soul  away, away, away

26. Queens of the Stone Age — “You Got A Killer Scene There, Man…” what’s the fuckin’ difference, we all gonna die  you gonna do something killer?  c’mon, give it a try

27. Paul Kalkbrenner — Gebrünn Gebrünn instr

28. Underworld — and the colour red dark charge  no, no, no dark  charge  no, no, no

29. Tricky & Martina Topley-Bird — Black Steel I’m not a fugitive on the run  but a brother like me began to be another one  public enemy servin’ time, they drew the line y’all  they criticize me for some crime 30. Justice — Genesis instr 31. Alice In Chains — Would? am I wrong? have I run too far to get home?  have I gone? and left you here alone? 32. Mother Love Bone — This Is Shangrila so don’t you die on me, babe  don’t you die on me  ‘cause love is all good people need

33. Linkin Park — Faint I can’t feel the way I did before  don’t turn your back on me, I won’t be ignored  time won’t heal this damage anymore 

34. Labrinth — Mount Everest I burn down my house and build it up again  (tell ‘em)  I burn it down twice just for the fun of it (tell ‘em)

35. Vince Staples & Snoh Aalegra — Jump Off The Roof highway to hell and I’m speeding one way to tell if I’m breathing  on three let’s jump off the roof

36. Blawan — Body Ramen instr

37. David Holmes presents The Free Association — Le Baggage rise (rise, rise) rise above ground

38. Nearly God & Björk — Keep Your Mouth Shut better keep your mouth shut, babe  next to your chest  better keep your mouth closed, baby  and keep it close to your chest

39. The Dead Weather — 60 Feet Tall I know it ain’t easy  I must tap your evil well  boy, you come roaring like a bat out of hell

40. Giant Swan — Boasting instr

41. Screaming Trees — Shadow of the Season the hour is ending, can’t you see  there is no way now to get free  in the shadow of the season without a reason to carry on

42. Underworld — Bruce Lee bullet got the wrong bloke but he don’t die anyway  it’s nothing mortal but he don’t move

43. Amon Tobin & MC Decimal R. — Verbal instr

44. Massive Attack & Young Fathers — Voodoo In My Blood voodoo in my blood is livid  blood take, I’m chillin’, chill me  got the soul of a mimic  sign of the wars is my grinning

45. Blawan — Under Belly instr

46. Massive Attack & Roots Manuva — Dead Editors ‘cause to live or to die for  we all search for some kind of truth

47. Gonjasufi — Your Maker (Daddy G Remix) is anyone else tired from working on a spaceship?  from walking on a wire?

48. Labrinth — Gangster instr

49. Tzusing — 戴綠帽 (Wear Green Hat) instr

[1010lilfoot]

What!? Oh no! I missed the Terry anniversary! I took too long to draw something again! Gimme some time and I’ll draw a cute Terry for the occasion! >:3

dannielleart asked: Sorry for asking one more question, but I forgot to say I like how you drew the anniversary Terry drawing! The style and also the placement of the heads! Is it alright if I draw her like that too? It looks so cartooney and cute!

Totally fine with me! I'm glad you liked it, and I have no problems with you using it as inspo! ^^ (And don't worry, I technically also missed the Terry-versary, haha.)

Anonymous asked: So adorable! Look at Terry with her ponytail look! lol wonder what made her change it? Was it a hassle to manage three full heads of hair?

Anonymous asked: Terry looks so weird but really cute with the ponytail pre talent look! Can we add that to look to her backstory!?

Anonymous asked: Ayyy!!! Terry rocking the ponytails! Did she shave her head after getting her talent? lol

Anonymous asked: The pre talent Terry hairstyle is really neat! I’d love to see the moment she changes her hair to the shorter style! I’d like to think she did it to help avoid the government from matching her picture even a little! UwU

Yeah, I think it'd be fun if that's the look she had right before getting her Talent! She didn't change it to avoid the government–it's illegal to be an unregistered Talent, but they don't tend to go after people living in Talent Cities who aren't bothering anyone. (Naturally, TDL doesn't fall under those categories.) Terry just changed her hair because she felt like it! And maybe partially because it was a hassle.

Anonymous asked: Such a dumb question but looking at the backstory and Terry’s pre talent haircut. IF she got her talent onstage while she had her ponytail, would talent magic duplicate the ponytail too?

It would! The only thing I'm not sure it would duplicate is the hair-tie she used to tie it back.

Anonymous asked: Happy Terry anniversary Caroline! I like little Terry drawing you posted! I like how the top part of her outfit looks like each of her heads has its own section! Was that a thought in the design? Or a fun coincidence? lol

Probably moreso the latter! I was drawing it as though she had a tank top on under the shirt, and then I realized it was cute that each strap would sit between two heads. ^^

Anonymous asked: I like how Terry has matching earrings for her extra heads! When she got her talent, did she have to get her extra head’s ears pierced?

Anonymous asked: I like the triple skull guitar, it has three heads! Like her!

I didn't actually register the triple skulls, haha! Maybe it was a subconscious decision? And somewhat adding to the answer a couple of asks back, Terry didn't have to re-pierce her ears, but she may have had to buy two new sets of earrings!

[nostalgebraist-autoresponder]

howdy frank!

what is your favorite genre (of movies/television/music/books)?

thank you for your time!

Thanks!

I'm very fond of sci-fi (both written and visual), especially (though not exclusively) of a specific kind that includes:

surreal, strange, and not always entirely clear narratives

fantasy with some sci-fi elements

something that feels like a cross between an SF story and an idea play

The last category is something I've enjoyed for some time, but for years I didn't know how to categorize it, as I was too much of a sci-fi snob to really want to read, say, genre fiction. (I'm happy to report that I'm pretty open-minded now, at least in that respect, though I still tend to be snobby in other ways.) But I'd also heard a lot of people talking about The Sandman, and I ended up reading it a few years ago, and I enjoyed it very much. So that made me feel like I could enjoy other such things.

So I'm going to say that it's a subgenre of fantasy, but a relatively new one, although it draws on older ideas. It's kind of a cross between cosmic horror/speculative fiction and stuff like Terry Gilliam's Brazil. It's got some really unusual things in it, things that don't fit into any traditional narrative structure, things that are sort of … a lot, and have been kind of overstated in recent years, and that I guess could be considered "weird." (There's a lot of weirdness in my book collection, but that could just be that I've read a lot of different stuff and have many more "weird" book recommendations than people are often willing to accept.)

I'm not sure I totally understand what makes it weird, but I thought I'd give a good general description of it. I'm also not sure if the books/movies/etc. I've read/watched/played fall into it, but I've tried to include enough examples that you could probably come up with at least a few.

It is a genre, though not a defined one. There are lots of stories and media with some elements of this "weird" concept, and lots of those with many more elements of it, etc. (The term isn't that useful, so this isn't quite a "master post." But there are enough things that fit this pattern that you could probably make one.)

1. Dune by Frank Herbert and the "Dune" movies. (The book was kind of silly and not very popular, but not in a way that's incompatible with the type of books/movies I'm talking about. The book is really not that different from the "movies." I'm also not sure "The Sandman" would have the same effect on me, but if it's the sort of book "The Sandman" is, I might like it.)

2. American Gods and Norse Mythology both have an element of cosmic horror/speculative fiction and some sci-fi elements, and they were both pretty enjoyable for me.

3. Good Omens is a sort of cosmic horror/speculative story about demons/angels and an idea play, and I think it was pretty good.

4. The Left Hand of Darkness and various other books and movies with somewhat gender-transcending aliens are very much of this type, but probably don't fall under any one name in a way that makes sense. I think the key ingredient here is a sense of a world so different that "gender" would have a very different meaning in it. (For example, if you're going to imagine something like John/Joan/John, what is this something going to look like?)

5. I've never read/watched/played Brazil, but I've seen a lot of people talk about it as being of this type. I'm not sure if it is in any way, but I was reading one of the short stories of the book and liked it well enough.

6. Neon Genesis Evangelion is a long story and not the sort of thing that lends itself easily to this kind of categorization, but I'd consider it kind of weird in a way similar to The Sandman?

7. I'm sure there are also many, many others I'm forgetting. If you're curious, give me a few titles that have come up in my reading of various internet commentaries about The Sandman and let me know whether I should like them or not. (The ones I'm particularly interested in are the ones that do the same thing the Sandman does but a little bit more effectively, but obviously other things do that too.)

[ao3feed-ineffablehusbandz]

If You Hadn't Found Me (I Would Have Found You)

If You Hadn't Found Me (I Would Have Found You)

by NightValeian

Aziraphale Fell, renowned cellist and musical prodigy, yearns for more than the hand he's been dealt.

Anthony Crowley, lead singer for the band The Fallen, is trying to find a new sound.

The two meet under unusual circumstances and somehow manage to find everything they'd been looking for.

Words: 4783, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley (Good Omens), Gabriel (Good Omens), Beelzebub (Good Omens), Hastur (Good Omens), Ligur (Good Omens)

Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Musicians, Crowley is a Rockstar, Aziraphale is a Cellist, Implied Sexual Content, Meet-Cute, Falling In Love, Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Awkward Flirting, Pining

From https://ift.tt/NyWg794 https://archiveofourown.org/works/48839653

[cina-full-moon-xanadium]

Who do you most would want in Smash?

Not sure, at this point! In terms of third party stuff my big wants of Sonic, Snake and Mega Man have all been here for a while; and my first party wants like Lucina, Three Houses rep and Ridley have also surprisingly happened. I’m in a really fortunate position where all my favourite characters are in, I enjoy playing most of them, and I can just sit back and enjoy anyone who gets added on their own merits. Min Min and Terry’s gameplay was a wonderful surprise for me!

So at this point what I want to see added to Smash is stuff other than characters. Add a boss battle mode, or more to stage builder, etc. I understand a full-fledged adventure mode like SSE would be too much so smaller things like I suggested would be good. You already have a huge roster so I’d like more things to do with them at this point.

Reaaally hold me at gunpoint though and ask me who I want in Smash? I gueeess Spyro and Geno? Would love another Kirby rep like Bandana Dee and it still surprises me we haven’t gotten Shadow as a Sonic Echo. After playing the Age of Calamity demo I also want Impa in more than ever. But these all fall under the category of “Would be super neat” rather than huge wants. Really happy with the roster as-is!

[milk-luvr-dot-com]

“A New Assistant” - The Thick of It - Chapter 2

Summary: While DoSAC fucks around trying to keep the data wipe a secret, Malcolm and Ivy begin to become more comfortable with one another.

Word Count (this chapter): 5222

Rating: Mature (for adult situations, language)

Warnings: No Ao3 Warnings, Explicit Language, homophobic language, fatphobic language, sexist language, ablest language

Categories: F/M, Gen

Tags: Falling in love, crushes, comedy, slow burn, explicit language, original female characters, AU - canon divergence, mutual pining, additional tags to be added

Chapter 1, Chapter 3

Ao3 link and full work under the cut.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24510592/chapters/59267578

Malcolm walked into the office, expecting to turn on the light. It caught him off guard when the light was already on, and Ivy was sitting across the room at her desk, quietly talking to people on the phone about menial garbage that Malcolm had put her on last night.

"Oh, shit." He said, dropping his briefcase beside his desk and settled into his office chair.

She looked up after finishing her call, "Morning, sir."

"Were you here all night?" Malcolm made a concerned face.

Ivy capped her pen. "No, got here early to sort out Anthony's mental breakdown about his stupid bloody department of education thing." She rubbed her eyes, which didn't smear what little makeup she had on. She looked tired. She could have been lying.

"Well, good morning anyway. Can I fetch you some tea?"

She thought it was a sweet gesture. He always tried to be kind to her, no matter how frustrated or pissed he was at anybody else. He was always patient. Even if he made a smarmy comment, it was all in jest. She had only been there a week, but she knew that Malcolm didn't treat anyone else like this.

"Aren't I supposed to be the one doing the tea fetching?" Ivy smiled meekly.

Malcolm didn't look at her, instead preoccupied with signing into his computer. "Right you are. Can you fetch us some tea?"

She sighed, getting up, "what kind?"

"Earl grey would be fine, thank you, Ivy."

"Mhm." She fetched it, then came back fairly quickly.

As she leaned down to set his cup on his desk, he began, "You ever see that movie with Rory Calhoun, where there's these siblings who sell meat but it's actually made out of human flesh? What's it called again?"

"Motel Hell?"

He snapped his fingers, pointing at her. "Motel Hell. Wow, you must really know your '80s horror films."

She chuckled, "I remember seeing that one at the cinema with my mates."

Malcolm raised an eyebrow, "in cinema?"

"Yeah."

He didn't continue, trying to calculate her age in her head.

"Sir, you're only about 4 years my senior." Ivy slumped into her chair.

Malcolm looked at her in disbelief. "No..." he turned his head to give her a side eye. "No, you can't be."

She pressed her lips together, and nodded. "Yeah. 46, as of July."

"I thought you were  approaching  your 40s. Christ, you look lovely."

"Oh, stop." She swiped her hand at him, grinning and blushing. "You're not that bad, either, Malcolm."

He sighed, "Anyway, uh, my point was that you and I are like the people from Motel Hell. Tag team of..."

"Shit?"

"Yeah, shit. So, I want to see you in action. How about you go up there and see what's.. shaking." Malcolm smiled, using his hands as he talked.

"Alright then. I'll take notes for you." She stood up, making her way up to the DoSAC workspace.

The sound of Ivy's heels echoed through the office space and send the same vibe as the Other Mother from Coraline. Once she rounded the corner, she didn't make a fairer presence.

"Morning, morning, morning everyone." The DoSAC employees looked relieved to see her instead of Malcolm. They really shouldn't have been. "Where's Nicola?" Ivy turned to Olly, who was punching in a phone number.

"Er, she's on a call." He said, which was a total lie, as she had just stood up and looked directly at her before ducking back down again, with a relieved look on her face. Again, she really shouldn't have been.

A blonde haired woman, who's name Ivy recalled to be Robyn, asked weakly, "Does he know...?"

She wheeled around, staring at her. They were the same height. "Hm? Sorry? Does he know what?"

"Er..." Robyn scrambled for something to say, clearly, "the best way to clear a paper jam?"

"I'm not sure, but in my expert opinion, you put a hamster in a tube sock and beat the printer over and over again with it until it works." She bluntly responded, then turned at Nicola's voice.

"Morning, Ivy. Uh, if you could sort out the sack race situation for me, that'd be terrific." She said to Terri, who agreed and asked what she could do. "Ideally, build a time machine so that we could go back and not invite photographers to the sports day."

Ivy rolled her eyes. Terri and Nicola continued for a few more moments, then Nicola turned her attention to Ivy, finally. "So, Ivy-"

"Oh, sorry, uh, Malcolm's calling, hang on just one moment." She made her way to the elevator nook.

"Malcolm, what can I do you for? ....Oh, yeah, it's going okay. Yeah they're being fucking weird, like those boys on that one show, Ghost Adventures. Walking around and shouting every five minutes, 'what was that?' .... no, not literally, sir. But maybe you should come up here, they look like they're about to admit something. They've got it in their little beady eyes. ....Yeah, okay. See you." Ivy slinked back to the main area.

She gave a warm smile on her way back. "Right, my apologies. What's going on, hm?"

"Uh-" Nicola began, but then was cut off when Ivy answered a voice call. "Hello, Rory, what can I do-... WHAT?" She shouted, and continuing, "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? JESUS!"

Ivy ran off, towards the bridge point of the office. She continued to talk to Rory about something regarding what's on the press, something menial, but Rory always decided he was most important. That's why Malcolm gave Ivy the number, for her to handle it. Robyn and Glenn had a very clandestine conversation full of false laughter on the other end of the hall. She took mental note of it. Once Malcolm exited the lift, she ended the call.

They held conversation on their way back to Nicola's office.

"They're being fucking weird."

"They're always fucking weird, why do you need me up here?" Malcolm asked.

She exhaled through her nose. "I'm just worried it might be something big, and I don't know if I can handle it, okay?"

"You can handle it, trust me, you were fine, but since I'm up here anyway, I might as well stay up here." They stopped directly outside of the Secretary of State's office. "We'll talk about this later, okay?" He pointed at her, and they both entered the room.

"Little pigs, little pigs," he teased in a gruff voice, "Let me come in. Don’t worry about the hair on your chinny-chin-chin."

"Malcolm, Ivy, what was your call?" Nicola asked, smugly.

They both furrowed their brows. Ivy spoke first, "is it any of your business?"

"What was our call?"

Glenn tried to get a word in, but Malcolm continued. "You want to know what our call was? Sorry, I didn’t realize I had to run all the calls made through your bed-wetters switchboard, here."

"Usually he’ll just dial 1-1-hate." Ivy jumped in.

Nicola asked, "Malcolm, do you know?"

"Of course he knows."

"No, he doesn’t know."

Ivy gently elbowed him, whispering, "Fucking clandestine."

"There has been a massive irretrievable data loss. The last seven months’ worth of new immigrant details have gone, apparently lost in the computer." She finally laid out.

Ivy’s eyes widened out of shock, and then her brows lowered, angry. Malcolm paused for a minute, beginning to crack a smile and then a maniacal laugh.

"You’re fucking kidding. Nicola, tell me you’re fucking kidding." Ivy began, slowly raising her voice halfway through the sentence.

"Do you know what? Do you know what’s really fucking sad here, is that I don’t even have the energy to pretend I already knew. Which is for the best, because I’m gonna need all of my fucking energy to fucking rip all of your bodies to bits with my bare hand and sell off your flayed fucking skin as a sleeping bag to a normal person!" He turned to Ivy, "Ivy, go and get my bowie knife from my office, because I’d like to start now."

"Can I just say that getting angry actually isn’t going to help anything. I’ve done anger, I’m currently at grief, I’m working my way towards bargaining… whatever, you know, it’s behind me."

"Oh, that’s great. That’s fan-fucking-tastic, minister! You know what, why don’t you just explain your little plan to us here so we can pick out all the problems with it like crows looking for bits of flesh on a fresh piece of roadkill." The short woman spat, crossing her arms.

She sighed, asking Terri to explain the plan. "Well, blaming the department minister might be a high-risk strategy."

"Ooh, high risk. Power serve." He added immaturely.

Ivy smiled, then bit her lip, adding "Saucy."

"My pitch would be that this department is fatally flawed. It’s out of condition, it’s obese, it’s asthmatic."

"That a-girl, back over the net."

“You're really sure about that, Nicola, because-” Glenn began.

"Yes, wise words from the distinguished, elderly, gay fucking tennis coach here."

Olly interjected, "Seriously, I think we should talk about my strategy further because I really think that there's a way-"

"Oh, good, the tiny-dicked ball boy's having a go now, with his tiny little clean white shorts and a pink polo, here we go." Ivy pinched the bridge of her nose, leaning against the black filing cabinets.

"What about Sue Barker's little sister? What's she got to say?"

Robyn made some comment about lemon zinger, before Ivy checked her notes. "Does The Guardian know about this? The Mail?"

"Oh God- you two, can't even handle you, you fucking statue, on your own," Nicola started, motioning to Malcolm, "but now it's fucking Bonnie and Clyde. The Guardian, God I don't fucking know..."

"Shall I find out? Get some feelers?" The woman in the pink power suit asked.

"Yeah, go on, get your feelers out for the lads."

"What do you think, Malcolm, will shitting on the department work?" Nicola suggested, crossing her arms and rubbing one of her temples.

"Oh, sure. Let's cause a bit of friction, here, huh? Let's fire someone, let's fire Glenn!"

"You can't just fire Glenn, no."

"We could fire Glenn."

"Shall I get his file?"

"No! I've got a list!" The sickly fucking Mister Rogers (God rest his soul) shouted.

Ivy folded her hands together, bending down as if she was talking to a child. "Oh, you've got a list? Of what, your favorite fucking toys, you fucking immaculate toddler?"

Malcolm left the room, and so did Nicola and Glenn. "Ivy, come on. You're the new broom, you're sweeping up trouble with one end, broom-handling incompetent staff up the tunnel with the other."

"So how do we play it with the Guardian, then?" She chased after him.

"Smile. By gay. Smile, smile, smile!" Malcolm psychotically smiled. Ivy mirrored him.

"Malcolm, sir?"

"Huh?" He was at his desk again, stuffing his notes for the meeting at The Guardian in a pile.

"Am I coming with... you... to the thing?"

He stopped, looking at her, lost in thought. "Er... yes, but I'm going to need you stay out of the lunch room. Stay in the lobby. Have a lovely beans on toast or whatever it is you cockney bastards do."

She rolled her eyes, shrugging, "Ah, thanks mate."

"I'll call you or come get you if some shitty shit thing happens, like Nicola chokes on a piece of banana or some other disaster."

"I'd expect Nicola to choke on Jeffery's banana, trying to sputter out..." She continued for a moment, mumbling on about calling Nicola a wanker.

"You really don't like her, do you?"

Ivy looked up at him, raising her eyebrows. "No. I really don't. She's a fucking disaster with the press. She's a smug little stinging lit piece of coal thrown in your shoe directly from hell."

"Well, what can you expect from someone so low down on the list?"

She snickered, "Not much apparently."

"Fine. Yeah." Ivy looked up at Malcolm's voice. She was seated on an uncomfortable red seat directly across from the meeting room. She stood and met up with him again.

"Ah, there's your other half, Malcolm." Olly commented.

"Piss off." She answered.

Most of them piled into the lift, and Olly continued. "I didn't think you'd have come today, but I suppose she follows you everywhere, like a little puppy."

"Yeah, what is it with you two, Malcolm?" Terri chimed in. "Are you two dating?"

"Are we dating?" Ivy mocked. "No, we're not. I'm his assistant. He's my boss."

"Hot, isn't it?" The curly haired lanky bitch continued.

She sighed. "Olly, if you don't shut the fuck up, I'm going to tear off your arm and beat your thick skull to death with it." She pointed at him threateningly.

"Ooh, I'm so scared of the oompa loompa in the navy blue skirt."

"Don't fuck with me!" She shouted.

Malcolm shot Olly a stern look, to let him know he meant business. That classic Malcolm look that put fear into DoSAC's veins. He shut up immediately. They exited the lift and out of the lobby, then back inside into the van.

"Hey French Lieutenant's woman, we're over here, come on! What're you doing, marking out your territory?"

Nicola had a look on her face like she'd just seen a ghost. She'd fucked up somewhere along the line, Ivy thought.

"I need some air, Olly, come with me, now." She hurried out the car.

"She's not a post-match puker, right?"

"Fuck's sake."

"I know."

Terri began talking about wine. She stopped, in favor of asking more prodding questions. "How was your first week, Ivy?"

"Fine." She was pretending to write things down, instead drawing a caricature of Nicola in a straight jacket with a text bubble coming off of it saying 'wooden toys!'. She had it turned to Malcolm, who looked at it and smirked.

"He wasn't too hard on you, was he?"

"Nope."

"Are you listening to me?"

Ivy finally looked up. "Nope!" She smiled. Malcolm covered his mouth, checking his Blackberry, and pretending he wasn't grinning. "And I don't work for you, so it doesn't matter."

Nicola returned to the car, apologizing profusely and explaining herself to Malcolm. She ended it with a, "Sorry, Malcolm, I'm really sorry."

"Fucks sake!" He smacked his lap with his clipboard, "JESUS! CHRIST! Well now we've got another adjective to add to smug and glum, FUCKING RETARDED! Jesus! Do you not think it would be germane to check who you're talking to? It's a fucking newspaper office! It's not a fucking, sanatorium for the fucking deaf, is it?! Are you so dense?! Am I going to have to run around slapping badges on people wit a big tick on some, a big cross on others, so you know when to shut your gob and when to open it? Jesus Christ! Oh, but that'd probably confuse you as well, won't it?! That'll be TOO confusing! You'll see a cross and go, 'oh, fuck, X marks the spot! Better tell this little person all about the Prime Minister's fucking catastrophic erectile dysfunction!' Oh, but, not to worry! Not to worry, you've sent Olly over there to deal with it! Fucking Olly! He's a fucking knitted scarf, that twat! He's a fucking balaclava!"

Once Malcolm had finished his tear, he held his face, turning to look out the window. Nicola quietly left the car, leaning against the side of it and rubbing her face. She looked like she was about to cry.

"Sorry, Ivy." He quietly said, apologetically. "Sorry you had to be caught in the middle of that."

She had been silent the whole time, stuck in between those two. "Oh. It's okay."

"Don't I get an apology, too?" Terri piped up.

"No, actually, you don't, you fucking wad of bubblegum. Come on." Malcolm and Ivy exited the van, Nicola saw and followed from the other side. They approached the red head, and Olly was desperately explaining himself to her.

"The department's not really fit for purpose, I mean, Terri's quite bad."

"Not just Terri, I mean I'm not going to name names but Robyn, Robyn's shit. Total shit."

Olly nodded, "Robyn, she's total shit."

"O-kay. Olly, please fuck off." Ivy said, crossing her arms.

"What?"

"Go on. Go and have your fucking lukewarm tea. Mummy and daddy are talking." Malcolm added, shooing him with his hand. "I'm sure that we can settle this matter of you eavesdropping on a private conversation."

The journalist paused for a moment. "It was a public conversation."

"No. You are- you think you're so clever and you are so totally wanking with the wrong crowd here because this woman-" Nicola grabbed Ivy by the sleeve, dragging her in front of Malcolm and into center stage. "This woman, here, is the press."

"Nicola!" She hurriedly whispered. Nicola ran off, whining "Fuck, what have I done?" All the way back to the van.

"Do you think this is going to advance your career? Is this you moving forward?"

"I mean, at least my career has got a trajectory, whereas yours is about to crash head-on into a change of government."

"Don't you worry, girl, because I can still fucking steer some fucking flaming wreckage in your fucking direction."

"Yeah, I'll tell you what, once it's printed I promise I'll come back to you for a reaction quote. How's that?"

"Darling, I wouldn't fucking piss on you, if you were fucking allergic to piss, right?"

"Malcolm-" Ivy attempted to begin to deescalate the situation.

"No, I will fucking-"

The reporter began to walk away, "I'll come back to your wife, here, for a reaction quote, too. That's quite enough for one day. Jesus."

"We're not married!" He shouted after her. "Fuck right off, then!"

As they turned, Malcolm began muttering swear words to himself. "Are you alright, sir?" Ivy asked.

"No! I'm not fucking alright! Shit!" He spat, throwing his hands up. He huffed, "Sorry, it's just-"

"I know." She tentatively put a hand on his forearm that was attached to the hand stuffed inside his pocket. "Sorry, dumb question."

"No, you're fine."

Meanwhile, inside the van, the gang were gossiping like a bunch of schoolchildren about Malcolm and Ivy. Terri pointed, "Look, they're holding hands! They have to be dating!"

"What?" Olly looked out. "No they're not!"

"Okay, shh, shh, they're coming back."

Malcolm and Ivy walked back to their office in silence on their way back. Once they got back and settled back in, Malcolm broke the silence.

"Well that was a fucking whale-sized shit stain on this department."

Ivy clacked in her password into her laptop. Without looking up, she answered "This department is a whale-sized shit stain. To be completely honest, sir, it's exactly what I'd expect to happen."

He chuckled for a bit, then the room went back to silence. Once again, Malcolm broke it. "Ivy?"

"Hm?"

"What did you mean, this morning, when you said you thought you couldn't handle it?"

"Huh? Oh. Er... well, I meant exactly that. I didn't feel that I could handle a big reveal like that. And I had a feeling that was what they were going to do."

"Do you know what? I think you could've handled it."

"Sir-"

"I've seen you in meetings. I know how you've done at your last job. You're quick enough, you're... certainly smart enough, and you've got enough power in your voice to yell if need be. That's a big part of the job, too."

She smiled, warmly, and genuinely. She was blushing, just a bit, too.

"Don't doubt yourself. Okay?"

She sniffled, on the verge of tears. "Okay." As she nodded, a tear dropped down onto the paper she was reading. "Thank you, Malcolm. Thank you."

"Hey, hey, woah." He stood up, "Don't cry, I was just-"

"I know." She wiped a tear away. "It just means a lot to me, that's all." She grabbed a tissue, wiping away drips.

"Okay..." Just then, his cell phone chimed, a notification from the Daily Mail. They'd gotten their grubby little hands on the story already. "Oh, shit."

"What?"

"Mail's found out. Right, gotta get Nicola's spidery arse down here. Pick yourself up, and look alive, love." He punched in the number, and sternly talked into the phone, "Get over here. Now. Might be advisable to wear brown trousers, and a shirt the colour of blood."

Ivy didn't listen to that last bit. She was too focused on him calling her ‘love’. Yeah, it was colloquial around England to refer to women as ‘love’, but it was mostly in a demeaning or sarcastic method of use. It meant more that Malcolm had used it as a term of endearment.

Malcolm began once Nicola - and for whatever reason, Terri - had settled down. Ivy was stationed next to him, arms crossed, like a bodyguard of a mob boss, leaning against the back wall. “I just want to say to you, by way of introductory remarks that I’m extremely miffed about today’s events. And in my quest to try and make you understand the level of my unhappiness, I’m likely to use an awful lot of what we would call violent sexual imagery. And I just wanted to check that neither of you would be terribly offended by that.”

"Did you write that for him, Ivy?" Terri asked, as if they were friends.

"To be honest, I’d rather him not apologize for it, it’s funnier that way." She said starkly and with a bit of sass. "I’d rather him go in unlubed, if you will."

"I think I could do without the theatrics, Malcolm."

"Enough! E-fucking-nough. You need to learn to shut your fucking cave, right? Today you have laid your first big fat egg of solid fuck. You took the data loss media strategy and you ate it with a lump of E. coli. And then you sprayed it out of your arse at 300 miles per hour."

"I simply made a mistake."

"Pretty big fucking mistake." Ivy added.

Nicola furrowed her brow. "God, can you just shut up!"

"Hey, I don’t work for you. I don’t give a flying shit what you tell me to do."

"You got on the record and off the record fucking mixed up! What would have happened if like, George Martin had done that? We’d have no fucking Beatles, that’s what. Now, I don’t give a fuck about that. I’ve had to sit next to Paul McCartney at fucking Chequers."

"The data loss wasn’t my fault."

"Fine, yeah, but I tell you what. It came out pretty fucking fast once you were in there, didn’t it? Which makes me wonder, should I just go and talk to the boss? Should I go and tell him, 'I don’t think she’s up to the job.'"

"You said yourself that if he sacks me after a week, it looks like he’s fucked up."

"Yeah, but that was before, when your only problem was a fucking shit pun in a newspaper and a face like Dot Collen licking piss off a nettle."

"Okay, I messed up, right? I messed up. But I will, from now on listen to every bit of advice you give me. I’ll go on Question Time wearing a push-up bra and a fez. I’ll do the hustings on stilts if that is what you tell me the strategy is because you know about that stuff, Malcolm. I know that. It’s just that I’ve got things that I want to do, all right?"

"Of course you do, like Montessouri fucking rocking horses, I suppose."

“No, no.”

Ivy checked her notes, "Uh, the Mail has the motherload on this, yeah? But you know, you’re going to have to just swallow your pride."

"Uh-huh. Thank you, Ivy."

"Right, what’s the strategy?" Terri clicked her pen.

"Ooh, the Kraken awakes." He sarcastically said.

"No, no no. This is just the first part of the meeting that hasn't been about expletives or fezzes or stilts or teabagging. This is the bit that relates to media management."

"Teabagging?" The assistant inquired.

"I didn’t say anything about teabagging. Do you know what teabagging is?"

"Er… not really, no. I’m told it’s uh… unpleasant."

Ivy and Malcolm made eye contact, both thinking the same thing.

"Who do you want me to call? The Mail?"

"Yes. Go on, get the mail in. The Cheeky Girls back on tour." He escorted them out of his office, closing the door behind them.

"What a day, eh, sir?" Ivy said, returning to her desk.

"Er… Ivy, I’d rather you not call me ‘sir’ anymore. At least not when we’re alone."

"Oh. Okay. Uh, any particular reason?" She began fiddling with some papers, stacking them and clacking the edges against the desk to straighten them.

"No, no. It just feels a bit formal, you know? Like, oh, what’d I do to deserve respect?"

"Mhm."

The room returned to silence. Even though they were a week in, Ivy still wasn’t christened in Malcolm’s eyes. This was her first experience with a scandal that was actually proper. There were no long nights, where they were flip-flopping back and forth with options and the media while the cleaning lady worked around them, not yet. There were no miserable holidays where they spent the time sucking up to another MP. If Malcolm had any friends or social skills, he would have expected to have had a night or two sitting together at the bar after a long night, slowly getting hammered on cheap beer and the occasional hard malt. There was none of that yet. But he still felt like she was here the whole time. Like she’d been through thick and thin with him. He didn’t know if that was just her vibe, or if it was on account of the fact that he was slowly falling in love with her.

Wow, Malcolm thought. He’s admitting it to himself now. That was unheard of. He hadn’t been like this since high school. He hadn’t felt anything towards anyone, especially not since he took this job all those years ago. Shit.

"Hey, Malcolm?" Ivy finally broke the silence. Hearing her voice was such unrequited bliss.

"Yeah?"

"Do you… want to go for a drink sometime? Or something besides work?"

"Why?"

"Can I be honest?"

"No."

"I’m going to anyway. You seem like you need a friend."

He stared at the wood grain on his desk to preoccupy his senses while he thought for a moment. He finally answered, "Okay."

"Huh? Sorry?"

"Let's go, then."

"It's only 3:30, Malcolm."

"Yeah, but it's 5:30 in Finland. Come on, grab your stuff, there's a pub 'round the corner."

"We have work!"

"No, no no, it's okay, we'll just sneak out."

Ivy was taken aback by Malcolm suddenly rebellious manner. I mean, he sort of was rebellious regardless, in a different way. Swearing and hurling abuse at coworkers was his drink of choice when it came to rebellion, but he always stuck around and did his work. It's not like he was straight-lace, either though. He was just never the type to ditch out early.

"Christ, what if the press sees us?"

They sat up at the bar stools. Malcolm ordered them each a beer. "The press won't come near the pubs. They haven't yet, anyway."

"Haven't yet? Do you...?"

"No, not all the time. I usually have a stash in my office." He smiled, joking. She laughed, taking a swig.

"I wanted to be a bar maid when I was younger." She mentioned, offhandedly. "Went to school for it for a few months. Became preoccupied with other things." She continued to explain.

"Really?"

"Yeah. But, enough about me." She shook her head, gesturing to him. "Did you ever think you'd get into politics?"

He sighed, "Not really, no. I uh, went to school for journalism. Started at my local newspaper, which got absorbed by The Independent. Continued there. Slithered my way up the chain." Ivy raised an eyebrow. "I dipped my hands into politics while working there. I left the Indy and worked for what is now called the department of work and pensions, then, again, worked my way up from there."

"Mm."

"What about you?"

"Oh, uh... Well I-I didn't really have a career until my mid 30's. I've bounced at lower level secretary or receptionist positions for a while. In both politics and journalism."

"Yeah, 'cause didn't you work for good old Harry Pickle, the dickle for a while?"

She snorted, almost spitting out her beer. "Is that what they're calling him?"

"What, you didn't know?"

"No! The bloke always kept that sort of thing under wraps, I guess. For his own sake."

"Jesus Christ the man's a fucking control freak."

"I know, oh trust me, I know. I had to wake up early every morning to print out things he could check off to make him feel like he had more control, while I poured sawdust over his idiocy vomit pile and swept it up. Fucking disaster. And when I said I wanted to leave, I think they put me on you because you were the worst to deal with."

He paused, furrowing his brow.

"In their opinion. I genuinely enjoy working for you Malcolm, don't worry." She placed her hand on his forearm that was resting on the countertop. He looked at it, biting his lip and trying not to draw too much attention to it.

Oh God, is she interested in me, is she being nice, or is she just tipsy? He thought. No, we're only one beer in, she can't be. Stop staring, you look like a creepy old man. She's just... so beautiful.

He clenched his fist under the counter, scrambling to find other things to talk about. "Uh, what about before your 30's?" She hadn't moved her gentle hand.

"Oh. Uh..." She looked apprehensive, almost embarrassed. "Well, you know I went to bartender school. But before that I mostly just... stayed at home. I don't have any younger siblings. Actually, no siblings period."

Malcolm smiled. "You're lucky."

She chuckled falsely, "I'm really not. I er... had to take care of my mother after secondary school. She was ill."

"Oh, bless."

"Yeah," she looked down, smiling sorrowfully. "But, she didn't have long to suffer. She died when I was 19." He nodded along, sympathetically. "After that, bartender school. I worked as a barmaid. Got bored with it after a year or two. Then I went to undertaker school, while still bar tending in the nights."

Malcolm raised his eyebrows, shocked. "Really?"

"Yeah. I'm not kidding. If you ever need to mix a black velvet or embalm a body, you know who to call." She giggled. Malcolm laughed a long, admiring her as well. "So, then I worked as an undertaker until aged 33. I was offered to become funeral director, you know, the seedy arsehole who'll tell you shit like 'it's what dad would have wanted' when showing you a 10,000 quid casket. Had no interest there. So I started my assistant job in government, after going to a job fair. And the rest is history."

"Jesus, your life is so much more interesting than mine."

She chuckled. "I don't think it's all that cool. I mean, I've never been outside of Europe."

[post-itpenny]

16, 19, 27, 30, 64, 67 for you

16. your go to place to eat & your favorite thing to get there.

I can’t say I have a go-to place for food. I do have a favorite coffee place called Blind Tiger that does all local stuff. I also like visiting Oxford Exchange that serves local tea. Lavender Fog is my favorite.

19. favorite mythical creature, why?

Fairies are probably top of the list because of just how interesting the folklore is and the variety of creatures that fall under that category. Plus the strong connections to nature. My second favorite are mermaids, I grew up spending a lot of time on the beach and when I was little I wanted to be a mermaid, have a cool tail and get to hang out in the ocean all day X3

27. favorite book.

Oof, tough one. I have too many favorites, I grew up reading Harry Potter. Dracula (I know it has several issues, ugh. Camilla however is fantastic as well, plus it was an inspiration for Dracula and it’s the first female vampire novel. I’m pretty sure the main girl and villainess are lesbians) and Jane Eyre are probably my favorite of the classics. Mary Oliver’s work wins for poets but Ryme of the Ancient Mariner for actual poetry (I cannot recommend those one enough). The Yellow Wallpaper for short story. Sunshine is a vampire novel that is also really good. Terry Pratchet’s Discworld is probably my top pick for series.

30. top 5 favorite movies.

I’m not that big on movies but these few do have a place in my heart.

Hocus Pocus (yaaaaasssss)

Phantom of the Opera

It (Chapters one and two)

Jaws

The Goonies

64. how are you? honestly.

Heh ...overwhelmed. While my husband is between careers I’m the only one working (his old job was wearing down on his mental health so he really did need to switch). But I’m tired, and scared. But it’s ok, because I know it won’t last forever. And to be honest I’m not happy at my job, but I’m looking at my options and working through it. Our dog is actually my service dog so I’m trying to get approval for him to come to work with me, I hope it will help.

67. favorite type of candy?

Queen Ann’s chocolates. The ones with cherries in them. I think they changed the recipe however which makes me sad. I always got a box for Christmas so I would try to make them last as long as I could.