#and THIS fucks me up so much because I see it everywhere along with “silent” boundaries and there like

[st7rnioioss]

ੈ‧₊˚ bags, clairo

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: matt sturniolo x reader

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: you were doing a challenge for chris's girlfriends youtube. then you and matts song came on!

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠: swearing, fluff, very fluffy

a/n: i LVOE this request, thank so so much. btw, sorry if i misunderstood the thing and matt and the reader arent in a relationship HELP. anyway, i literally love bags by clairo so much.

this is based off this request!

───────── 🐇 You stood in the triplet’s kitchen with Madi and Chris’s girlfriend Nat, short for Natalie.

For Natalie’s channel, you were doing a “baking deaf, blind and mute” challenge, where one had a blindfold on, one with headphones on, and one with tape covering their mouth.

Nat introduced the video, immediately getting on with the challenge.

“MADI, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?” Nat laughed loudly, due to her sudden loss of hearing, almost falling backwards.

“Nat, I can’t fucking see!” Madi yelled back, trying to pour the flour nicely into the bowl. You stood beside them, uncontrollably muffled-laughing because of the duct tape over your lips.

You tried your best to help them, but it was very hard to do when you couldn’t communicate normally with them. From time to time, you took over Madi’s or Nat’s tasks, pushing her out of the way.

The triplets were sitting on the couch behind the camera. Chris was having the time of his life, watching his girlfriend terribly fail at baking a few cupcakes. Nick was for the most part on his phone or going back and forth from his room and the couch. 

Matt was also having fun, watching you try to get Madi and Nat out of the way so you could stop them from pouring batter on the floor. You had always been just a tad bit closer to Matt than Nick or Chris, until he finally confessed his mutual feelings for you.

⋆

“Okay, so we just put the cupcakes in the oven, so now we’re going to work on the icing. I’m gonna be blindfolded, Madi’s is gonna be mute, and Y/n will be deaf. Alright, let’s start!” Nat clapped her hands, handing you the headphones.

You put your hair down, the headphones sitting comfortably. Nat grabbed her phone, turning on the song she had stopped mid-through.

You didn’t recognize the first song, the second one being “yes, and?” by Ariana Grande. For the most part, you were standing beside your two friends humming along, occasionally smiling at Matt who was looking at you. He smiled back at you, adverting his gaze back to the mixing-bowl with the milk and vanilla.

“MADI, YOU’RE SPILLING THE MILK.” You yelled way too loudly, grabbing Madi by her shoulders with one hand, the other one stabilizing the bowl.

⋆

One song later, Madi was mixing the icing together to a thicker consistency. Your headphones were silent for a second, before your favorite song, Bags by Clario, started playing.

“GUYS, I FUCKING LOVE THIS SONG!” You yelled, trying to jump along with the beat in the song. Madi and Nat completely took over as you danced along. 

Matt looked up from his phone due to your yelling. Of course, he didn’t know what song was playing, but he was curious. You backed away from Madi and Nat, dancing along to Bags.

“EVERY SECOND COUNTS, I DON’T WANNA TALK TO YOU ANYMORE, AND” You laughed, singing loudly along. Matt’s face almost instantly lit up, due to this being your guys’s favourite song.

Almost everywhere you went together alone, Matt was listening to it with you (even when he was alone). On late-night car rides, cuddling in his room, or quietly singing in the triplet’s car videos, it was your song.

Your relationship was kept secret from the triplet’s fandom since Matt didn’t want you to receive hate or backlash. And you didn’t mind, as long as you both were happy, it was all that mattered. Currently, you have been going strong for two and a half years.

“ALL THESE LITTLE GAMES, YOU CAN CALL ME BY THE NAME I GAVE YOU!” Matt was beaming, staring in complete awe. If he wasn’t already madly in love with you, he was now.

Nat was continuously gently slapping your arm to stop you from dancing, but you didn’t budge. Almost like you were singing to Matt, you tried to point secretly at him, a smile immediately growing on your face as you locked eyes with him.

“CAN YOU SEE ME? I’M WAITING FOR THE RIGHT TIME,” You kept going, dancing, jumping, spinning, all sorts of expressions of excitement were expressed right then and there.

Nat and Madi had given up a long time ago, placing the rack with the cupcakes on the counter.

⋆

The following Thursday, Nat released the video to her channel.

You were cuddled up with Matt in your shared his bed, both mindlessly scrolling through social media. Matt was checking his Instagram, you on TikTok. One particular TikTok caught your eye.

An edit of you and Matt to Bags by Clairo. The clip of him mentioning the song in their Wednesday video, followed along by your singing.

You smiled to yourself, opening the comment section to find multiple people suspecting a possible relationship between the two of you. A bunch of people agreed, and a bunch of people turned it down.

You liked the edit, scrolling further, only to find more, more and more edits. Matt noticed your giggles, looking up from his phone to look at yours.

“Are you watching edits of.. us?” He smiled, putting his phone on his nightstand before turning back around to wrap an arm around your waist.

“Yeah, look. There’s a fuck ton of them. To Bags!” You smiled from ear to ear, a faint blush creeping up on your cheeks. Matt stared at you in awe, looking back at your phone to see more edits. He couldn’t stop smiling either, watching you so excited to see edits of you two to your favorite song.

“Oh my God, I love you,” Matt chuckled, pressing a few kisses from your forehead, down the side of your face.

“Matt, I lov- it- it tickles, stop!” You laughed loudly, the tickling sensation making you drop your phone. He couldn’t stop smiling, softly planting a kiss to your lips.

He pulled away slowly, his eyes glued on yours. “Can you send me that second one you showed me?”

⋆

a/n: i hope it lived up to your expectations arghhh, love the request once again, thank you thank you.

taglist: @chrissgirlsstuff @leah-loves-lilies @toriinie @cupidzsq @lacysturniolo @iluvmattyb @ratatioulle @emma4eva @riasturns @sstvrnioloo @sweetbabydoe @elliewrites1 @its-jennarose @abbypost @chrisstopherfilmed @sturniolossss @ducksturniolo @junnniiieee07 @klaus223492 @urfavvev3lyn @vschrissturn @cicimayx @keerahsturn let me know if you'd like to be added!

[borathae]

↳ Index [Day 26 - Somnophilia]

Pairing: sub!Jimin x Mommy Dom!Reader

Genre: established relationship!AU

Kinks: consensual somnophilia, cunnilingus, nipple play, nipple sucking, he cums in his jeans

Wordcount: 2k

a/n: you gave me these three kinks and then said he should wake her up with it. i know it’s not the longest story, but i feel like one can only write that much with these three kinks before it gets too repetitive so i tried my best and i must say, i like the story that came out of it hehe

The movie is still running. Judging from the sounds of it, it’s one of your favourites. Jimin has listened to it a dozen times before and could recognise it everywhere. He feels excited, knowing that he can see you soon. With a slight skip on his happy steps, he makes his way to you. 

“Hey honey, I’m-” He halts and smiles. “-home, but you don’t know that. Do you?” 

You fell asleep on the couch. Your body is exposed because you lost your fight with sleep before getting a blanket. You are wearing nothing more than your rope, face covered in a mask. 

Jimin takes it off for you, throwing it away before returning to you. He kneels down in front of you, massaging in the excess serum gently. You chase his touch in your sleep, purring happily. 

It makes his heart flutter. You are so beautiful and he loves you so much. 

Jimin spreads the serum on your neck as well, following his touch with his eyes. You have the most beautiful neck. His fingers brush against a necklace.

“Hm?” He takes it out of the rope. His stomach tightens instantly, his pulse increases.

The silent symbol. 

You and Jimin had a long and thorough talk about kink where the aspect of somnophilia and free use came up as well. You and he found out the lovely fact that you both were interested in these kinks and so you agreed on a secret symbol between you and him when the kink is consented to. You and he ordered a matching set of necklaces, which you will only wear when you are theoretically down for some fun.

Jimin knows that finding this necklace on you isn’t an accident. You put it on deliberately. Did you know that you would fall asleep? Or did fate perfectly set you up for him to find you so beautifully sprawled out? Whatever the case might be, Jimin feels hot and bothered. His once innocent desire to take care of you is gone, replaced by needy hunger for you. He knows your comfort levels and limits, and also knows that he can do whatever lies in these borders. His day was stressful and you are so beautiful and….fuck it, he is doing it. 

“Holy fuck, Mommy”, he whispers shakily, dancing his hands down your arms, “you’re so beautiful, Mommy. So beautiful.” 

He moans softly, lowering his lips to your neck to kiss it. You smell and taste like the face mask you used. Jimin licks it off of you greedily in hopes of finding your very own taste at the end of it. You sigh in your sleep, body moving closer to him instinctively.

Jimin worships your neck with utmost care. He would never dare to soil your beautiful skin with marks of his greed. You are supposed to stay flawless. It isn’t you who he owns but you who owns him. You and he never made this rule, but Jimin made it for himself. He is yours, entirely yours, and he wouldn’t dare to mark your perfect skin. 

His hands travel along your torso as he kisses your neck, searching for the knot so he can open your rope. His head is dizzy at the aspect, conjuring up images of what might wait for him behind the fabric. 

Finally, his hands find the knot. He lifts his head, watching his fingers work. 

A gasp leaves him the moment he opens the rope. Just as he had hoped, you are naked underneath. 

“Shit, this is so…” he trails off, letting his body do the talking instead. He connects his pillowy lips with your collarbones, but they don’t stay on this spot for long. He kisses needy paths to your breasts, moaning to himself because nothing will ever feel as good as your breasts do.

He cradles them in his hands and squeezes them together gently, burying his face in them like this. A gasp leaves you. Jimin looks up. You are still sleeping.

“Sorry Mommy, you’re so soft. I can’t help myself”, he whispers and buries his face back in your chest with more tenderness. He would never forgive himself if he woke you just because he was too greedy. 

He guides his eager lips to your right nipple. It is closer him because of the position and brushes against his lips. He lifts his head, gazing at it while his thumb circles it. You must feel it in your sleep because his touch makes you writhe and purr softly. Goosebumps cover your skin, your nipple swells and hardens within seconds. 

Jimin swears that he salivates at the sight of it, having to gulp heavily. 

“You’re so beautiful”, he whispers and lowers himself with an open mouth. Your nipple sits so perfectly between his lips, forcing him to close his eyes because there is no better feeling than this.

Okay, that might be a lie. There are so many feelings which are precious to him. Your hugs, your kisses, holding your hand in a crowded room, clasping your waist on a busy street, kissing your neck first thing in the morning, feeling your shaky breath swirling his face when he first enters you; they are so precious to him. Quite frankly, being with you and having the privilege to exchange touches with you fulfills Jimin. Sucking on your nipples comes very close to that however, don’t be mistaken. 

Jimin loves sucking on your nipples, soon leaking into his jeans and drooling on your skin. It is different when you sleep. There are no fingers playing with his hair, no happy purrs of encouragement. Instead, you lie completely still.

Jimin begins missing you. He misses you so greatly. He slips his lips from your left nipple after having changed sides already, looking at your face. Your lips are parted, but otherwise nothing changed. You are still very clearly asleep. 

“Fuck, wake up please”, he begs and kisses a path down your stomach. He knows exactly what will wake you. 

He did it with you a dozen times before and you always loved it. He climbs the couch, making himself comfortable between your legs. The way you positioned them gives him perfect access to your pussy. 

Jimin eyes her greedily as he kisses a path up your inner thigh. He inhales the sweet scent of your moisturizer as much as he can, feeling delirious for you. He is so obsessed with you.

His hands cradle your waist, holding it while his mouth finally connects with your sweetness. Your body shudders in your sleep, Jimin trembles on the couch. He is finally home and it tastes sweeter than heaven.

He mewls into you, dancing his long tongue through your velvety folds while his eyes are locked on your face. You scrunch your brows each time his tongue graces your clit. Jimin has to work his very hardest not to get too greedy too soon. Even in your sleep, you should be worked up slowly. You deserve to be worshipped and to be tasted inch by inch.

He lingers on your lower parts for now, loving your warm entrance and your soft petals surrounding it. They move around his tongue as he flicks it in languid movements, giving him a sense of belonging.

You aren’t the wettest right now because obviously you are sleeping and weren’t turned on before that, but Jimin sees no difference. He loves the way you taste, swallowing each of your rare droplets hungrily. If this is how his stressful day ends, he wants to have a million more of them.

Further up your heat, just underneath your clit. You are so warm there, so soft. Jimin has to kiss the spot over and over again, giving you gentle sucks each time he pulls back for a new kiss. Something about it seems to work because your chest begins heaving up and down quicker. Jimin moans softly, dancing his hands up your torso until he can cradle your breasts.

“Jimin”, you sigh, chasing his touch. Sleep so very clearly still has a hold on you.

He feels dizzy, humping the cushions needily. He is helping you have a wet dream. He is making you feel good in your dream. Jimin has to curl his toes from the intense pleasure he feels because of it. The movements of his hips are without a rhythm, solely there to help him chase the friction his swollen cock so dearly needs.

Up, up, up his tongue dances, finally licking your clit. It is swollen already, forcing more leakage to soak his briefs and jeans. What he is doing is working and it is making you moan. So blissed out it sounds as it leaves your sleeping form. Your legs are restless as well, writhing slowly in an attempt to roll your hips up.

Jimin helps you by using his entire tongue for his feast. He dances the flat of his tongue up your clit and uses the tip of his tongue when going down again. It is a constant change between warm pressure and precise stimulation, bringing sighs of your bliss to the surface.

He takes your nipples between his fingers, massaging them sensually in hopes that it will please you even more. It seems to work, forcing your back to arch.

“Jimin”, his name leaves you again. Your voice sounds clearer than before, as if you were just one step away from waking up. As if the walls between your dream and your reality are finally beginning to crumble.

Jimin doesn’t know whether to keep the rhythm going or speed up. His greed tells him to do the latter, his devotion to you tells him to do the first. Perhaps he could do both. He increases the pressure on your clit, but keeps the tempo going. He purrs, pinching your nipples with each second touch.

Your moans become louder and louder, clearer as well. The writhes of your body are getting stronger and stronger. Jimin trembles because of it, barely finding the strength to breathe. Any moment now and he will wake you. He flicks his tongue and breaks you.

“Jimin, ah!”

Your fingers grasp his hair, your legs close around his head, your pussy begins throbbing under his tongue.

“Holy fuck, ah!”

Jimin mewls and moans, licking you eagerly to help you through your orgasm. You are writhing and whining, clearly surprised to find him between your legs.

“Holy fuck, this feels so good”, you choke out, rolling your hips up, “Jimin, ah, Jimin.”

Jimin can’t take it anymore. He climaxes in his jeans, feeling his eyes roll back because of it. It is one thing to wake you with his mouth, but another to have you moan his name with such bliss. Jimin can’t take much, but not this.

He thinks that he takes longer to come down. It was intense to climax like this, leaving him dizzy and out of breath. You pull him to you just as weakly, kissing his soiled lips while little sounds of contentment leave you. Jimin kisses you back, melting into a state of utter safety.

It takes you and him a little while to find the strength to break away and talk. Once you do, Jimin’s cheeks are rosy and your heart isn’t pounding out of control anymore. You smile goofily, cradling his cheeks. You and he are so close that his face is a little blurry in your vision. He is lying on top of you, giving you warmth and a nice pressure on your torso.

“Welcome home”, you whisper, having to snicker.

“I saw the necklace.”

“I know, I’m not complaining.”

Jimin smiles, having to rest his forehead against yours.

“I think I’m gone more than you are. I feel dizzy.”

You snicker, “that doesn’t surprise me. You’re very needy, always have been.”

He laughs and agrees with a kiss to your cheek, “I can’t help it. You own my soul, Mommy.”

“Mhhhm I do and it’s fucking safe with me”, you say, scooping him up in your limbs to cuddle him, “now come here you, I need to snuggle you.”

Jimin melts into you with a happy giggle, kicking his feet cutely.

[ivycjl]

Epiphany

Summary: Benny's just about given up on your relationship. What will he do when you pull away, too?

Hi! Here's my second attempt at writing. I'm planning on this having a few parts if you guys want to see more. The conflict will be resolved at the end of part four, so no worries there. Hope you like it!

Content: Arguing, silent treatment, angst

“God damnit Benny, is it too much to ask for you to be at home? With your wife? For more than one night of the fuckin’ week?”

You had had just about enough of your husband. He worked all day, rode all night, and only came back home when he needed a place to crash. You two live together and haven't seen each other in a week, for God’s sake. Not to mention the way he was treating you like a roommate more than a wife. So, currently, you're retrieving the laundry while you fight with him.

“I have to be there.”

Have to. I just have to do this and have to do that. I have to do everything except treat you like I care about you.

You stomp up the stairs and into your room. Benny had taken to passing out on the couch after his long nights, so you weren't exactly sharing anymore.

“Not every night. Not when you work all day and never come home. I'm tired of begging you, Benny. Sometimes I even wonder if you want to do this anymore.”

He freezes. "Do what?"

You roll your eyes as you fold a sweater. “You know. This. Us. Your marriage. ‘Cause a hell of a lot of the time you seem like you don't.”

He scoffs. “I seem like I don't?”

“Well, you know, you're right. It would be a little hard to tell when we never fucking talk to each other.”

Benny’s jaw clenches, and you stop folding the laundry, turning around to face him. “Do you want this, Benny?”

“’Course.”

“That's all you have to say when I ask you if you still love me? If you want to be in this relationship anymore?”

You could see him getting angry now. “God damnit, I answered you, what more do you want?”

Tears prick your eyes. “I want you to tell me how you feel. I'm not asking you if you like the color red or not, I'm asking you if you love me.”

He sighed. “I'm still here, ain't I?”

You look him in the eyes, silently pleading that he say the words he knows you want to hear. Instead, he turns away from you and puts his colors on. “I gotta go.”

Your heart sinks. Tears are freely falling on your face, and you nod. “So that's it, huh?”

Benny brushes past you like you're not there, but stops when he hears your words. “I am just about done with you, Benny Cross.”

He takes a deep breath, then walks away. You don't allow yourself to break down until the front door slams.

Later that night, after you’d collected yourself, you lay in bed alone, hating everything. Him. Yourself. The motorcycle club. The way he talked to you. If that's how it's going to be, I don't want to talk to him anymore, you think. Maybe I’ll just ice him out for a while and see what happens. The idea has some potential, you think before drifting off into sleep.

When you wake up in the morning, there's no sign your husband ever returned from the night before. Good. You start making some coffee, trying to be happy that you're alone. It's better this way. There's no one to argue with.

You take a deep breath, soaking in the smell of the coffee, the morning sun, the birds. Being along can be good. Nice. You sit down at the little breakfast table, unable to remember the last time you really used it. There's a Vogue from a few months ago under some bills, so you take it out and start flipping through it.

The rumble of a motorcycle breaks your thoughts and dread fills your body. Shit. Just stick to the plan. You aimlessly restart the magazine, hearing the door open a few moments later. Clearly, Benny thinks you're still asleep, because you don't hear him stomping around and throwing his shit everywhere. At least he has some sort of common decency, you think.

Then, out of the corner of your eye, you see him standing at the doorway of the kitchen. You don't acknowledge him until he clears his throat, and even then you drag out the time with a long sigh before raising your head.

He's in the same outfit from last night. Your immediate instinct is to jump on him, ask him where he's been, why he was out all night. But you have to give him a taste of his own medicine. Stick to the plan.

A short, awkward silence envelops the room before Benny clears his throat and says, “Morning.”

You look him up and down, trying to seem like you don't care before echoing his oh so sweet sentiments. You turn back to the magazine.

He just stands there for a second before walking over to the coffee pot and pouring a mug for himself. He sits down across the table from you, opens his mouth, then closes it. Your eyes stay firmly on Vogue.

Finally, “You don't want to know where I’ve been?”

“You're here aren't you?” You repeat him from last night. He pulls a face, shifting in his chair. “Really? You don't got nothin’ to say?”

You shrug, “Not much to say, is there?” Another one of his endearing phrases. You were pissing him off, which actually made you feel a little better. “Well fine,” he petulantly replies before leaving the room to change.

About five minutes later, you hear the front door slam again. Guess he's off to work, you think. You try to stop your heart from sinking. If he isn't going to treat you right, he won't get treated right either. That's final.

You return to your reading.

[quantum1mmortality]

Just read some of your stuff, absolutely BEAUTIFUL I might add. Can you sfw/nsfw headcanons do the Lin Kuei boys with a super social gal? Like she’s all energetic and is HUGE on the PDA? Can she also have big titties? (Totally not self projecting or anything)

Tumblr is still being mean and not letting me edit drafts ugh so this is probably gonna be really bad srry

Tw/cw: afab reader, jealous bi han, toxic bi han? he's his own warning guys, kind of just scenarios and not hcs, still hcs tho I cannot deny you all of that, WRITING THIS AFTER I WROTE EVERYTHING AND I FORGOT THE PDA PART IN BI HANS FORGIVE ME ANON, boobs galore, Kuai being a tit guy, I literally hate this so fucking much

Not proofread fuck you

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bi han

Sfw

Wouldn't admit it, but he finds you adorable.

The way you're the complete opposite of him makes his heart melt.

You practically do all the talking in your relationship while Bi Han silently observes and listens.

When you're out together, he mainly stays beside you as you lead him everywhere.

He finds your ability to quickly make friends amazing, considering he was never able to do that(skill issue).

He can't help but smile when he sees you talk so kindly to everyone, whether you know them or not.

He usually wears his mask when you two are together because of this.

You'd most definitely be the person in the relationship to say "excuse me, he asked for no pickles", mainly because he'd refuse to send his food back because a meal is a meal.

Nsfw

Cool, calm, collected. That's what Bi Han likes to describe himself as. But it's much different when it comes to you.

My god, does this man love tight shirts. It doesn't matter what color, what time of the day, if youre wearing one, he's in the mood.

And he hates how much power you have over him.

He hates when you wear tight clothes in public, too. Mainly because it's extremely hard for him to control himself.

He sees how well you get along with others, how people stare at you with nothing but admiration, and he can't help but feel jealous.

More jealous than he'd like to admit.

Bi Han thinks that he should only be the one staring at you, that he's the only person who can give you the love you deserve.

He'd occasionally see other men staring, looking at your curves and the smile that Bi Han loves so dearly.

He hates the amount of jealousy that pulses through him, clenching his fists tightly as he tries his hardest to keep his composure.

When you get home however, he's showing you just how much he loves you, deserves you, needs you.

He can't help his hands from wandering your body, taking in every curve and relishing in just how beautiful you are.

He'd whisper praise as he kisses and nibbles lightly on your neck, cupping your breasts as a gasp escapes your lips.

You could feel the tent in his pants as he began grinding against your inner thighs, desperately calling out your name as he continues.

His breathing is heavy, fanning your neck as his teeth sank into your shoulder.

A surprised yelp escapes your breath as you can now feel his breath hitting your ear.

"Look what you do to me, you'll have to help me with this, you know."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kuai Liang

Sfw

He'd absolutely love seeing you socialize with others.

He'd love the way you can strike up a conversation with anyone and just turn such a bad mood into a light hearted one.

He completely commends your social skills and practically can't go anywhere without you.

Kuai Liang himself would most likely indulge in PDA on his own, so if you initiate, he isn't going to stop you.

He loves holding your hand in public, he loves making people know that he's with you.

He'll also kiss you in public, but not often. Like, at all. He prefers to keep something like that private.

But if you insist, he can't really deny you.

Nsfw

Two words: staring problem.

This man can NOT keep his eyes off you.

Seriously, who decided you can be THAT fine? He genuinely can't stand it.

He's in love with all of your curves, and he LOVES your breasts.

He genuinely can't help wanting to nap on them. Theyre big and soft, can you really blame him?

Kuai Liang would just, touch them. All the time. No warning, he'd walk up to you and just palm them.

Oftentimes, this leads into other things. Kuai is generally just a big fan of titties. Any size, any shape, any color, if you have them, he loves them.

So, he's a professional titty sucker. Willingly.

Kuai genuinely does feel comfort in bringing you pleasure, and if you both get pleasure from doing something, he's all for it.

But if you want to make a night all about him? He's more than excited.

He'd absolutely have you tit fuck him.

He kind of doesn't even get pleasure from the actual feeling, he mainly gets off to how you look during it.

If he was going to be completely honest, seeing you topless and pressing your breasts around his cock is so much more pleasurable than most things.

He'd be a complete mess while watching you, he'd grip the sheets in his hands tightly as he watches his cock disappear and come back through your breasts.

He whimpers as you begin to place kitten licks on his tip, hissing as his grip on the sheets tighten.

Seeing you like this never fails to turn him on quickly, anything that involves you turns him on, but that's not something he'd admit.

"Y/n- please,, let me cum already~"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tomas

Sfw

Oh my god.

This man would be OBSESSED with you.

You're pretty AND social? He might as well propose immediately.

He's constantly around you, literally never leaving you alone, especially not in public.

If Tomas has to go into a public setting and he can't bring you, he isn't coming.

To him, you're like an emotional support person. You're usually the person who starts conversations for him, and he genuinely doesn't know what he'd do without you.

He loves how kind and naturally nurturing you are, the smiles he sees on other peoples faces simply because of you is something that has made him more happy than he's willing to admit.

Nsfw

STARING PROBLEM but worse.

Tomas is genuinely insufferable when it comes to your body.

Since he practically worships the ground you walk on, he worships your body even more.

If you were to ask him for literally anything, no matter what it is, he'd do it for you, but he has weaknesses.

If you were to ask him for something while batting your eyelashes, he'd simply stop working.

Because of this, sex with him usually results in him being a bottom.

Yeah, I know, it's practically cliche at this point to make Tomas a bottom, but have you SEEN him?

That man is on his knees day and night trying to please you.

He'd usually have you ride him as one hand would be on your waist while the other is firmly holding one of your breasts.

Sometimes he gets too in the moment and holds both of them, but can you really blame him?

Hes entranced to say the least. They're big, soft, warm, how could he not want to hold them constantly?

Even just touching them is enough to get him off.

His head would be thrown back is pleasure as his grip on you tightens, moaning out your name as he bucks his hips upward.

"Shit- hah,, y/n~ I'm so- ngh, close~"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Might disappear and never post again wouldn't that be fucking funny

[starythewriter]

KINKMAS DAY 6- WOLVERINE X YOU- a peak-filled farm life.

Wolverine, he slowly shows you the way to an old barn that his family owned.

you smiled seeing the beautiful decor, and a Christmas tree…

it was all decorated for the winter holidays.

he said, “the tree is our tradition, my grandfather gave it to us when we first arrived here in America.” he explained as you looked around at everything else he had showed you today, you nodded, “that's really nice.” he nodded too, you then asked your question.

“What does your dad think about having such an elaborate tree?” he seemed surprised, and his expression turned confused at the thought of his father.

“My dad doesn't care much for Christmas, I'm sure if he didn't care I would have told you. ” he responded and took off from where he stood, taking your hand again he lead you further into the house. You noticed that the whole place was decorated with lights everywhere. You wondered how someone could get so distracted by the festive decorations that they forgot that the world wasn’t always like this.

It reminded you a lot of something you saw on TV, the snow covered cities of New York City were also decorated by lights but they were more subdued, the colors were different.

He led you to the living room where there was another table set up with two chairs. He gestured for you to sit down, you did, he joined you after sitting at the other side of the table. He began telling you what was happening, the Christmas tree was his favorite present since forever, he got his parents one as well for his birthday, and his brother got him one that was made entirely out of wood (and was quite expensive). He said he would show you later when you got back to his home.

but… you could feel some hot sexual tension building between you both as he spoke about the tree. His hands were resting on the table, you had your own placed in your lap as well, his long fingers intertwining with yours. Wolverine quickly kissed you, you moaned loudly, you saw his fangs grow which made you horny. you slowly rubbed your tits aganist him, moaning louder.

he pulled away, smirking.You both continued talking for awhile, eventually making your way into his bedroom, he pushed open the door with your backs pressed against it. He pushed you onto the bed and quickly went over to turn on the light next to the bed, he was now on top of you. He leaned down and began to suck your neck, while your arms were wrapped around his shoulders. You knew this was supposed to be quick, but instead it felt like he was sucking you dry.“I'm going to go slow.” he whispered to your ear.You gasped, “yes please.”He pulled away to stare into your eyes, you could see a glint of lust in his eyes. You wanted him so badly, he was only inches away from you, you could smell him, your lips were parted, you could barely keep yourself from kissing him again.“Are you sure? Because you look ready to explode.” he laughed, you couldn't help but laugh along. You both fell silent as he kissed you once more. He slid his hands under your shirt, cupping your breasts as he continued to kiss you, you moaned, he chuckled softly, running his thumbs across your nipples before pulling them. It caused you to whimper. You felt his grip tighten on your breasts as he continued to kiss you. He gently tugged at your nipple causing you to gasp, he smirked.“I want this moment forever.” he whispered, you nodded, “then make love to me.”“I promise.” he breathed before moving his mouth to yours once more, his tongue slowly stroking yours as his hands traveled lower towards your stomach.“Wolverine …” you murmured against his lips.“Yes.” he whispered against yours.You both pulled apart as you felt him slide his finger slowly inside of you.“Fuck!” you yelled, he grinned before continuing. You both laid underneath the covers for a while, still naked, he wrapped himself around you once more, kissing your forehead.“That's better, isn't it?” he whispered seductively, you nodded before nuzzling closer to him, he quickened his pace, as you moaned louder. “Wolverine!” you exclaimed as your orgasm hit you, you clutched onto his shirt as tears started rolling down your cheeks.His name was on your lips, he looked down at you.“Did you enjoy yourself, darling?” he purred. You nodded. “Good.

with this you both went to get some tea, at a near by storage place, it’s like right in front of the barn you thought…. and it was actually pretty chill you thought, you saw how beautiful it was, from what you could see it was remodeled into a nice little resting place for coffee, tea, and had some closets, with tools that were all perfectly organized.

you both walked in, making some tea and enjoying the farm buildings around you

[mysicklove-main]

𝐃𝐑𝐔𝐍𝐊 𝐇𝐂𝐬

With: Izuku Midoriya, Katsuki Bakugou, Shoto Todoroki, Eijiro Kirishima, Denki Kaminari, Mina Ashido, and Ochako Uraraka

A/N: Different types of drunks are so funny to me. I love watching some ppls personalities just doing a 180, its always so amusing to me. I also might write one for demon slayer characters, I was on the fence about mha or kny. lmk if i should do it for my other loves :)

𝐈𝐙𝐔𝐊𝐔 𝐌𝐈𝐃𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐘𝐀

Light Weight/Sloppy Drunk

Light. Weight. I mean everyone know it, after one drink his cheeks are flushed and he is grinning like a mad man.

His former classmates love to just offer him drink after drink, just to see him get wasted.

Sloppy drunk. Im sorry, but he is. Slurring his words, hiccuping, stumbling everywhere. 

He always ends up falling somehow, you find him laughing on the floor with people crowding over him trying to help him up.

Talks to everyone he can find. Literally they cant even understand what he is saying because he is slurring his words and rambling about everything.

”Im not drunk, Y/N! You're drunk!” As he is on the floor, refusing to grab onto your hands to help him up. He's so stubborn.

He always ends up vomiting. 

You basically have to pour water down his throat to sober him up.

He refuses to go out the next couple of days cause he is so embarrassed of his actions.

𝐊𝐀𝐓𝐒𝐔𝐊𝐈 𝐁𝐀𝐊𝐔𝐆𝐎𝐔

Silent/Clingy Drunk

His usual scowl disappears, and for once in his life he looks…relaxed?

Just watches his friends do stupid things without any yelling.

Seems to scout for you the second you leave his sight.

Lots of mumbling under his breathe that nobody hears.

Sticks with you most of the time. Only talking when someone talks to him, but even so he gives one word responses.

You only know that he is drunk because of his flushed appearance and slight smile. Its so rare to see him smile in front of people.

Mumbles compliments in your ear, and plays with the hems of your outfit.

Holds your hand the entire night and follows you around.

Randomly will disappear and come back with another round of drinks for the table. Instantly becomes everyones favorite drunk.

Yells at everyone the next day if the mention anything about him being “soft”

𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐓𝐎 𝐓𝐎𝐃𝐎𝐑𝐎𝐊𝐈

Relaxed/Smiling Drunk

Its rare to see Shoto give a full smile, but after a couple of shots he just can't stop grinning.

Is surprisingly much more talkative and friendly towards his ex-classmates.

But the second he finds somewhere to sit, he is stationed there for the rest of the night.

He acts more high than drunk istg

Just sits back and smiles, laughing at everything that comes out his friends mouth.

Its so cute though, because he gets so excited when talking to you.

He def slurs his words but you cant even tease him because he looks like he is having the time of his life.

One of those drunks that finds out they have a random special talent. Like have u seen that video of the drunk dude that finds out he is fantastic at piano?? Thats shoto.

Laughs at his self when he tries to walk in a straight line. “Look Y/N. I cant walk straight!” You just have to go along with it

Doesn't get hungover at all! But also doesn't remember anything lol

𝐄𝐈𝐉���𝐑𝐎 𝐊𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐌𝐀

Crying/Emotional Drunk

Something about it just gets him so emotional. He doesn't even know why.

He drinks and cries, drinks and cries, until you have to drag him home.

Most of the time he is crying about like the least important things like how good you look right now or how crazy it is that he is dating someone like you.

Other times he tries to go all “meaning of life” on everyone. It throws everyone the fuck off and you always have to try to get him back into the moment. Its so funny tho 

When he bumps into someone, he apologizes so much it makes the other person feels uncomfortable.

Will randomly go silent and then start crying again. The bartender always looks so concerned. 

You have to bring him home early bc he just ruins the vibe. he is not allowed to drink when you guys are tying to relax and enjoy the moment.

Sober him is way more fun lmaooo

𝐃𝐄𝐍𝐊𝐈 𝐊𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐀𝐑𝐈

Flirty/Touchy Feely Drunk

Are you surprised? 

Its like every single pickup line is blurted out no matter the moment.

You'll be in the middle of a conversation and all of the sudden you hear some bullshit like. “Hey baby, are you from Tennessee?” “Denki dont.” “Cause youre the only ten I see” scares off every single girl you were talking to.

Tries to get you to do lewd ass dancing with him and acts like you killed him when you decline.

Hand on your waist, or thigh, or neck, or ass if you dont slap him away. Genuine pervert.

You catch him flirting with Bakugou once and you got so much second hand embarrassment from the way the blonde just stared at him in disgust.

Tries to unbutton his shirt, and about every ten minutes you have to rebutton it for him. “What, you cant handle all of this?” You almost kill him.

Overall, at least he is a partier and you know youll have fun with him.

Gets HORRIBLE hangovers tho. You are stuck taking care of him the next day (again)

𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐀 𝐀𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐃𝐎

Affectionate/Friendly Drunk

Makes friends with every single person she sees.

The drunk girls you see in the bathroom that hypes you up? Thats her.

Especially if you are her partner?? God damn she compliments you so much.

Ends up helping the DJ chose songs when you guys go to clubs. Seriously it is so funny how she ends up talking to everyone.

So much dancing. So so much dancing. Even if its just the two of you, you guys are dancing.

But also mom too, like makes sure everyone has water and isnt getting too fucked up (izuku). Keeps everyone a their best.

You stumble over, she catches you with the biggest smile on her face. Wont even tease you, just continues to make the vibes just absolutely great.

Holds her alcohol perfectly. Enough to get crazy, but she isnt stumbling nor slurring her words.

I just want to go clubbing with her.

𝐎𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐊𝐎 𝐔𝐑𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐊𝐀

Angry/Fight Picker Drunk

This seems like a shocker. What precious ochako getting mad at people???

Yes. She picks fights.

ALWAYS with dudes that her twice her size too. Be prepared to fight istg.

Yells at people who are too drunk (Izuku) and tells them to get their shit togehter. You have to use your hand to cover her mouth before she gets kicked out.

So many curse words. So many.

Literally gets approached by nobody because she has the biggest frown on her face. 

You have to try to ease her up by dancing with her or showering her with compliments.

Cheers her up for a bit, and she goes back to all smiley and happy, but then someone interrupts the two of you, and she goes back to being pissed.

You have to watch her 24/7.

She doesnt drink that much anymore because she knows how she gets lol

[wheredidhiseyebrowsgo]

Hii! I'd really appreciate if you could recommend me fics where Stiles leaves Beacon Hills and makes new friends. (He may or may not return to BH later) thank you!

I do!

The Truth of It by alisvolatpropiis

(1/1 I 2,158 I Mature I Sterek)

Derek took the picture late one night the summer between Stiles’ junior and senior years of college, the last of their four summers together.

Or not-together. The last of their four summers of whatever it was they were to each other in those years, fucking nonstop and spending nearly every waking moment together for three months at a time, both of them aggressively maintaining the it’s-just-sex-it-doesn’t-mean-anything rule they set their very first time together, the night of the pack’s high school graduation party when, slightly drunk, Stiles kissed him for the first time, determined and eager, heart pounding in Derek’s ears.

Not Your Emissary by sapphireginger

(1/1 I 2,428 I Teen I Steter)

Stiles squeezed his mate’s hand to soothe the angered alpha and watched Scott puff out his chest in a pitiful attempt to be intimidating. “No.”

“NO?!” Scott growled. “What do you mean no? This isn’t negotiable. You're my pack!”

“Am I?” Stiles asked calmly.

Scott hesitated and nodded firmly. “Yes.”

Stiles shrugged one shoulder. “I love Peter and he loves me. I’m not leaving with you, and you can’t make me.”

“Wanna bet?!” Scott snarled.

Peter’s control was rock solid, airtight, never faltering. His presence alone was enough to drive fear into the hearts of most. It was always a turn on to see the alpha put people in their places. 

We'll be Better Around the Second Time by Cantabo

(12/12 I 26,589 I Mature I Sterek)

It's been months. Months of fading contact with the pack. Months of the silent treatment from his father. Months of nothing but himself and the occasional lesson with Deaton to entertain him.

It's too much, and eventually, Stiles leaves.

For years, everything goes great, until of course his dad gets injured, and he is suddenly forced to deal with people he thought he left behind in his past for good.

OR: Stiles gets pushed out of the pack, hits the road, makes new friends, learns how to grow up, and falls in love.

Abraca-Fuck-You! by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella)

(1/1 I 28,906 I Mature I Sterek)

“Who needed you?” Stiles asked, uncapping his water.

“Hm?” Cole had been looking out at something in the field, and he focussed back on Stiles then. “What?”

“You said it comes about when someone needs us. Who needed you?”

He probably shouldn’t have asked, because Cole looked sad all of a sudden. Like he hadn’t thought about becoming a Sorcerer in a long time. Stiles could see that being what he was had cost him greatly, and he couldn’t help but wonder if he was going to run into the same problem.

“A friend,” Cole said quietly. “Someone who was very dear to me. But I didn’t get there fast enough.”

Stiles paused in recapping his water, pressing his lips together. “What happened?”

“I waited too long to help them.”

At Our Ex-Spence by sapphireginger

(26/31 I 41,923 I Explicit I Steter)

Stiles is ready to leave Beacon Hell Hole-Beacon Hills-behind. An offer to join the FBI is his ticket out of there. A blue eyed wolf follows along, and Stiles doesn't mind a bit.

On the other side of the US an amber eyed man puts on his glasses and gets out of bed. His first day at the FBI is almost here. "Stu?" the man's girlfriend calls out. "Coming!" he replies and rejoins her in their bedroom.

Stiles is about to start his FBI training. He meets two people of major significance on his first day. Life gets even more complicated, and he has so many questions. However, he's not sure who he trusts to give him the correct answers-to give him the truth.

I've Been Everywhere With You by Leslie_Knope

(10/10 I 61,551 I Explicit I Sterek)

“Dude, you should totally come with me.”

“What? Like on the road trip?"

“No, come with me. To Austin. Get out of Beacon Hills.”

Derek paused. “What?” he asked again.

When It Comes To Being Lucky by sterekcrush

(46/? I 157,701 I General I Sterek)

Derek Hale doesn't do love. He's tried twice; the first time it made him a killer, and the second time cost him his whole world.

So he doesn't do love, and he definitely doesn't love Stiles. He doesn't care about Stiles' new powers or the fact that Stiles has been talking to Derek's dead mother, or even the fact that for some reason supernatural creatures from all over the country are sending Stiles offers of courtship.

But when Stiles claims he's not part of Derek's pack and takes off for parts unknown...well, maybe Derek cares a little after all.

Guardian by Lerya 

(100/100 I 202,041 I Mature I Steter)

After Stiles finally realises how little he means to Scott, and how little his opinions and even his research mean to the 'true Alpha', he's had enough. With most of the original Hale pack getting away from the Hellhole that is Beacon Hills, he prepares to do the same. The extra addition wasn't planned, but most welcomed, as was an invite by the counsel.

He could do this, going around the world, helping other Supernaturals, getting to know the world, and learning about himself and the community.

Manipulated by DearDaisy (Scribblesnpaws)

(30/30 I 221,251 I Mature I Sterek)

Nine years ago, Scott kicked Stiles out of the pack. Stiles left and never returned. But now his dad has been hurt, so Stiles returns to take care of him. No one knows the truth of what happened back then, not even Scott or Stiles. But that's about to change.

[trumpkinhotboy]

Lean on me

Pairing: Twin Brother!Nick Nelson x Twin sister!Reader

Type: Request (thank you so much!!)

Genre: Angst that ends with a lot of fluff

Warnings: Sexual Assault situation. Although the details aren't of extreme nature, it can still be a hard thing to read for some people, so be careful <33

Rating: 13+ (because of SA)

Word count: ~ 4600

Requests: Open! For Heartstopper, twilight wolfpack, chronicles of narnia and harry potter

A/n: I was really inspired for this fic and it took me quite some time to write it. I hope you will enjoy protective brother nick nelson and the fluff with the Paris gang as much as I do. If you have any requests feel free to message me !!

A/n pt.2: Please don't come for me for my summary, I fucking hate writing those xoxo

*gif is not mine!!

Summary: The reader goes to a party without her twin brother, Nick. Through different circonstances, she ends up dancing with someone who might have not rightfully earned her trust. The situation quickly escalates to horrible heights. She will have no other choice, but to learn how to defend herself, and how to lean on the people who matters for her.

Your heart is racing, your eyes are burning, and silent tears stream down your face. You rest on the threshold of the door you've just exited from. You can't grasp and even begin to process what just happened. You look up, hearing your name being called from afar. It feels like you're in a different dimension. Everywhere you look, reality seems distorted by some filter. Finally, you focus on your mother's face. She's sitting in her little car, window down, waving at you. Automatically, your body starts walking toward the car, but mentally you are elsewhere. In a dark corridor up in this horrible mansion. Trapped.

_

Your heart beats in a thumping rhythm as you cross the threshold of the mansion. Music is blasting out at an alarmingly loud volume with the place already packed. 

You try to calm your breathing and to remember you were invited and belong here as much as anybody else. The few people you cross paths with wave at you. You smile back, trying to look confident and relaxed. The image of collected cool. 

Even though there's actually a weight dropping in your stomach. 

You are, after all, Nick Nelson's twin sister. He has a certain 'popular kid' reputation that was mostly passed on to you by association. You are both known for being nice and popular kids. Although you definitely are more lowkey than your 'rugby king' brother. So, even if you aren't sure these people are your crowd, you couldn't refuse when you had been invited to some guy's end-of-exams party. 

It wasn't rare for you to be invited to events like this. Although, it was one of the few times your brother didn't join you. Ever since he started dating Charlie and got closer with the Paris gang, you could see less and less of him at these kinds of gatherings. That's why tonight, instead of being here with you, drinking lukewarm punch and listening to questionable music as some alcoholized teens were being unleashed in a mansion worth ten times your house, he was hanging out at home with his friends. You would much rather be with them, but they were Nick's friends, and even though they were nice to you, you always felt like the annoying sister trying to tag along in her brother's friend group.

That's why even when 95% of you wanted to turn back around and escape that terrible party, you took a deep breath in and let yourself be swallowed by the crowd of people.

10:15pm. You had been here for an hour, and it did not get better. The cup of punch in your hands was sticky and smelled incredibly weird. No doubt because someone had dumped in a bunch of mixed liquors. Your friends were all hanging around. Either dancing or flirting with some questionable-behaving young men. You couldn't help but look at your phone about a thousand times in the last twenty minutes. You thought about calling your mother. You knew she'd come to fetch you, but then what? You'd go back home? Seeing Nick and all of his friends having a jolly old time while you had failed to have a good night on your own? No, thank you.

You loved Nick to death, but sometimes, seeing how liked he was proved to be incredibly difficult for you. You always felt like an impostor. He dared to be himself, and people liked him anyway. You weren't so sure you'd be met with the same welcome if you dared step away from the facade you had carefully built all these years. 

Maybe that's why you accepted to dance with someone you didn't even know. You did see each other around a few times but never actually spoke. He seemed nice enough, so when he reached out a hand and offered you to dance, you drank a sip of your horrible drink and joined him on the crowded dancefloor without question.

He was entertaining and invented goofy dance moves to make you laugh, but all the while, something felt off. You felt like you were being watched. Sometimes, you'd see his gaze over you as if he was looking at someone else. Each time you'd try to look in that direction to see who he might be looking at, he'd find some clever way to focus your attention elsewhere. After a few songs, you were both out of breath, sweaty, and hoping for a break. You were about to invent a creative excuse to get away when he offered to get some water. You hesitated, trying to look around for a friend, but none were in sight. 

"Come on, we'll get some water and air if you want to. I know a spot." His expression was kind and seemed genuine. That's why, again, you followed him even though some small part of you screamed that you shouldn't.

The feeling in your gut turned queasy as he led you through dark corridors. The once kind smile that graced his features seemed to turn smug as you headed deeper into the house. You finally reached a little room far away from the agitated crowd. He opened the door, inviting you inside. "Are you coming?"

Your feet were rooted to the ground, the feeling in your stomach spreading to your entire body. This felt wrong. 

"Uhm, no. I think my mom will be here soon. I should go." You took a step backward, trying to put some distance between the two of you. Trying to calm the instinct that screamed at you to run.

"Oh, come on. Don't you want a glass of water?" 

You only stared at him, not daring to respond, too scared to fall into this trap he layed in front of you. You knew water would not be involved if you entered that room, and he seemed to get that too, "We had fun, didn't we?" the change in his tone made shivers creep up your arms. Gone was his facade of the innocent boy. He now looked like a snake trying to lure in his prey.

"Yeah, but now it's time for me to go. Thanks." 

He stepped towards you, making you fully back into the wall. "Please stay. It's my party, you know. The least you could do is stay a little longer with me."

You looked around, noticing his arms had crept on the wall on either side of you. 

"Please get your arms off," you demanded. You tried to make your voice sound assured but failed to hide the quiver in it. He noticed it, and the glim of rotten confidence in his eyes shone brighter. He had you exactly where he wanted you.

He trailed one finger up your arm, your stomach tying in knots at the touch. "You know, I've seen you around a lot. You're Nick Nelson's sister. People talk about you. They say you're stuck up. You've never had a boyfriend or anything, am I right? I like girls like that, so nice, so pure."

You almost threw up on him, the allusions making you feel nauseous. You couldn't, and wouldn't, hide the disgust filling your eyes. You looked around, hoping to see someone turn up. Praying for someone to come, but it seemed you were out of luck as the corridor stayed empty.

His hand went up in your hair, and you held your breath. Terror like you had never felt before paralyzed your body. "The guys bet you wouldn't get with me, but I think we have potential together. Am I right? We could head in that little room together and see what happens." 

You felt the hand on your waist slowly slide down your hip, tugging you closer. 

"Get off of me!" you exploded as you pushed him back as hard as you could. He hit the door behind him quite hard, the doorknob digging in his back. You made a headstart to get away, but before you could get further, his hand grabbed your wrist, tightening his grip until he had you wincing in pain.

He gritted his teeth, ambers of rage dancing in his eyes. "Oh, come on, don't be like this. Stay here with me, and we'll have fun." He pulled you backward by the collar of your shirt, and you heard the fabric rip with a distinct sound. He pressed you tight on his chest. You could feel every part of him pushing hard against your back. He gripped your hips while his other hand fumbled with your chest. His foul mouth on your neck. 

Refusing to give up, you gathered all the self-defense knowledge you had and stepped on his foot as hard as you could, hitting him with your elbow in the stomach at the same time. You put all your strength in the blow as if you were trying to pierce him through. You knew you cut the air from his body with the sound he made. His arms loosened up for a second, and this time, when you started running in the opposite direction, nothing stopped you. 

Running as fast as you could, you looked back for a second. Unable to resist the reflex to confirm you weren't being followed. Whipping your head to the front, you couldn't dodge when someone suddenly exited a door on the side. You crushed into them with blunt strength, almost sending you two toppling down. 

"Oi! Watch where you're going- Oh, Y/n. Are you okay?" 

The voice sounded incredibly familiar, and your gaze focused for a second. Sai, one of Nick's good mates, was staring at you, worry digging down the corners of his mouth. 

"Uhm, I- I'm sorry. I have to go." You couldn't stop and risk getting caught again, so you started running, leaving Sai looking at your disappearing form.

You fled outside, already texting your mother. You hid until you saw the familiar form of the family car. Sprinting towards it, you climbed in as fast as you could. 

"Well, someone's in a hurry to come home." chuckled your mother as she headed towards the exit. "The party wasn't fun?"

Forehead resting on the cold window, you couldn't say a word. If you were honest, you could barely register what your mother said. All you could feel was his hands on you. His lips on your neck. The phantom sensations gave you the horrible feeling that he was still grabbing you. That you were still trapped up there. 

Your mother's touch on your arm brought you back to reality. "Are you okay, darling?" Even the soft touch on your arm was enough to make you shudder. "Y/n, did something happen?"

Your gaze connected with hers for a split second, but you willed the fear in your eyes to disappear. To go back to a dissociated gaze. Allowing nothing to show.

"I don't want to talk about it now," you mumbled while covering the tear in your shirt with your hoodie. You needed to comprehend what had happened before you could say something. Even if you wanted to, the words were stuck in your throat.

Your mother stayed silent for the rest of the ride, although you could feel her gaze on you a few times. You felt like she'd say something until she faced the road again without adding a word. 

When you finally pulled into the driveway, you made for the door. You wanted nothing else but to disappear into your room. Your escape was halted when your mom grabbed your wrist, stopping you in your tracks. You winced at the pain it inflicted and the reminder it brought. The look in your eyes was one of undiluted terror.

Her face turned white as a ghost's. "Y/n, I will give you your space for now, but I want you to know and understand that we will discuss this."

Your house was filled with music and happy voices. You could hear through cotton-filled ears someone call your name but didn't stop. When you slipped into your room, you stood in the dark and looked at your wrist. The red mark on it was already turning to a soft purple. A whimper escaped your mouth as you sunk to the floor.

You cried and cried and cried. The adrenaline had left your body, and the walls you had built around you to survive had been torn down. With a hand on your mouth, you tried to maintain your sobs to a minimum volume. 

What the actual fuck was all you could manage to think. 

Catching a glance of yourself in the mirror hanging on your wall, a wave of disgust ravaged you. In the darkness, like glow-in-the-dark marks, you could see the print of his hands on you, the sloppy marks he left on your neck. You felt disgusting. You needed to wash this off now. 

You headed for the bathroom, trying not to attract anyone's attention. You were about to grab the doorknob when the door opened on a surprised Tara.

"Oh my god, Y/n, you scared me! I didn't know you were here," she exclaimed with her usual cheerfulness. 

You stayed silent, feeling like you had been caught red-handed. Shame crept on your cheeks.

In a second, she analyzed the state you were in. The tear on the collar of your shirt. Your puffy eyes, your red cheeks. "What happened to you? What happened to your shirt? Are you okay?" 

Her sweet concern was all it took for you to tumble into tears again. She helped you back to your room, supporting and hugging you tight. You babbled incoherently about what had happened. You just needed these horrible words to be out of your system. You needed this unbearable reality out of your head, needed the constant litany of words to stop. 

Tara listened to your whole story and managed to understand through your sobs. As you finished, out of breath, she convinced you to let her get Nick. You dreaded it at first, so scared to see his reaction, but the once-in-a-while seriousness in Tara's tone managed to persuade you.

You heard her going down the stairs and waited in silence. You held your breath. The house was utterly silent as if it was also holding its breath. Then, it erupted, and all you could hear was someone climbing up the stairs at an alarming pace. Your door opened on a whim, almost digging a hole in your wall with how strongly it went flying back.

Your twin brother was standing on your doorstep, his chest going up and down quickly. He didn't say anything. He just scanned you from head to toe before reaching out his arms. Engulfing you in a tight embrace, he rocked you back and forth.

"Tell me," was all he said, his tone hoarse and hard.

"I was anxious and bored, and this guy asked me to dance. We did, and then he offered to get some water and air. I followed him but felt this grip in my gut. Felt like something was off. He led me to a dark room. I refused to go in and said I had to go, but then he backed me into this wall. Saying stuff about what other people thought about me and about some bet he'd made with his friends. I- I tried escaping Nick, I really did, I promise. I kept my distance, I told him to go away, but he wouldn't. I pushed him and tried to make a run for it, but he grabbed my wrist and started touching me. I managed to defend myself and get away. I ran into someone. I think it was Sai. I stopped for a second but couldn't tell him anything, so I ran again and hid until Mum came to pick me up."

The silence in your room was deafening. His whole being was at a standstill. Nick wasn't known to be a violent person. Quite the opposite, but you felt like that was about to change.

"Show me where he hurt you." 

You extended your wrist, the mark gone even darker than before. 

"Anywhere else?" he reluctantly asked.

You couldn't, and wouldn't, show him where precisely but managed to wave your hand towards your neck and upper body. Shame once again invaded your cells. His eyes filled with despair and so much rage. He hugged you tight again. "I'm going to kill him."

You whipped your head up. The look in your brother's eyes was one you had never seen before. Immediately, guilt flooded your thoughts.

"Nick, you can't get involved in this. I'm so sorry I got into all this trouble. I don't want it to affect you at school. I shouldn't have followed him. This is my fault."

He looked at you incredulously. As if you had just said the dumbest thing he had ever heard. 

"Y/n, you didn't get in trouble. Someone assaulted you. You are not at fault here. Do you understand? Because I really need you to." He tightened his grip on you, his cheek on the crown of your head. "I don't need you to pull some Charlie number on me."

"A Charlie number, uh?" you heard a familiar voice speak up. 

Charlie's head peeked from your door. The face of comfort and reassurance. "Can I come in?" You nodded as he made his way to the bed. "Although I'm not sure what exactly he's referring to, I'm pretty sure he's right. You shouldn't feel guilty for something someone did to you, okay? Especially for something like this."

You saw the hint of pain flashing in his eyes and remembered he had experienced something similar. 

He reached a hand you immediately grabbed. You had loved Charlie since that first day he came to your house to meet Nellie. There was something about him that always made you feel safe and comfortable. His presence here meant a lot to you. "You okay?" 

You still weren't precisely grabbing the heaviness of what had happened. But the support you were shown helped you manage the whirlwind of emotions you were feeling. You nodded feebly.

"What do you want to do?" finally asked Nick. "Can we do anything for you right now?"

You confessed you did not want to be alone tonight. You dreaded being left with your thoughts, scared they would swallow you whole. "I just want to feel safe," you whispered.

The words were like a dagger to Nick and Charlie's hearts. They both felt so guilty about not being there to protect you. What happened tonight brought them back to the beginning of their relationship. When Charlie had been through the same thing you just did. It awakened so many unpleasant and painful memories in their hearts.

"Of course. We can stay with you all night," said Nick with a kind smile, and you knew he meant it.

He offered to watch a movie, knowing that was your thing when you needed comfort. He felt that nothing he could do would help you heal from the experience you just had, but he'd do anything in his power to make you feel better. Your eyes light up at the suggestion, and he couldn't help a loving smile from lighting up his face. 

"The gang is still down there. If you want, I can ask them to leave?" suggested Charlie. "Even I can go home if you would rather be alone with your family. That'd be totally understandable."

If you were being honest, you would love for them to stay. The more, the merrier, and Nick's friends were such a cheerful and caring group. You knew they would be supportive. You hesitated, on the edge of saying yes. 

Nick felt your hesitation and put a hand atop Charlie and yours. "We can ask everyone to leave if you want to, no problem. But if you feel comfortable and want them here, I know they'd love to." 

You finally admitted you'd love for them to stay. Charlie went downstairs to fill them in. Leaving you in the room, still wrapped in your brother's arms. Both of you weren't ready to move just yet.

"If you want them to leave or need anything at any moment, I want you to come straight to me. Is that clear?" You nodded. "And while they set everything up, I have to tell Mum. She's worried sick, and rightfully so." 

You nodded once again, knowing she deserved to know. Still, you couldn't help your stomach from twisting in knots at the thought of this thing spreading out. 

Always so observant, Nick noticed how scared you looked. "Please, trust me, let me handle this. You don't have to worry about a thing. Just let me deal with it. You can lean on me." You mumbled an 'okay' as he kissed the top of your hair. 

An invisible promise to protect you forever.

The gang all split up to help make you feel better. Elle, Tara, and Darcy helped you clean up. You didn't want to be alone. So when you looked anxious to step in the bathroom, they all suggested they'd sit down in there, waiting for you. They were incredibly caring and supportive. Acting like this wasn't out of the blue and odd. You knew Nick and Charlie had filled them in, but none dared to say a thing. Their respect for your privacy and light chatting were both things you were incredibly grateful for. In the meantime, Tao and Isaac prepared the living room for the movie. They went all out and built a fort of pillows and blankets with snacks, ready to welcome you when you were done.

As for Nick and Charlie, they were dealing with the situation. They told everything to your mum and contacted Sai to find out what he'd seen. He immediately admitted seeing you running away from a corridor, shirt torn up, with tears running down your face. He found the guy in question, still catching his breath, and pieced two and two together. He even got him to admit the whole thing. He questioned some guys and even confirmed the horrible rumor of the bet. It had taken everything, and encouragement from Charlie, for Nick to stay put and not rush back there to beat his ass. Even your 'anti-violence' mother kept her mouth shut while Nick uttered threats, each worse than the other. The next day would already be horrible enough for the guy without Nick having to get in trouble had reassured his boyfriend.

Forty-five minutes later, you were all covered in blankets, resting on pillows, cuddled up together. Nick and Charlie were sitting on either side of you. Your brother's arm reached around you and his boyfriend. 

The rest of the gang was scattered around the floor and the couch, but you were still all touching. Forming an unbreakable chain of support and love. 

You looked around and felt so grateful as you looked at the people present. Nick squeezed your hand with a kind smile, a quick check-up to confirm you were still okay. You cleared your throat, gathering everyone's attention. The movie softly played in the background while you started, "I wanted to thank you for this. You have all been incredible. Thank you for helping me, and I hope you can forgive me for interrupting your end-of-exams party." 

"Hush with that. As if we'd ever be mad for something like this." intervened Elle. She put a comforting hand on your shin, her features so open and caring. You couldn't help but give her an answering smile.

"Did you really think we'd resent you for what happened tonight?" inquired Charlie. Once again, a light of understanding sparkled in his blue eyes.

"No, but it's just... This was your thing. Your party, and once again, I'm intruding in and forcing you guys to hang out with me."

"Forcing us?!" cut Tara. "Y/n, I don't think anyone here would feel forced to hang out with you. We like hanging out with you!"

Your eyes shone with surprise and something like relief. They all looked at each other incredulously. Not quite believing that you didn't know how much they liked you. "What?! Did you think we only thought of you as Nick's little sister?"

You turned your head towards a disbelieving Tao. Your shy silence was an answer in itself.

"You have great taste in movies. Plus, you have a lot of knowledge about the cinematic universe. I like hanging out with you because you're the only one in this group with decent expertise of the culture." He added enthusiastically. Pronouncing that last word with his usual mediocre impression of a Scottish accent, he extorted a laugh from your chest.

"And you like to dance, and for some reason, you get Darcy's poor sense of humor," added Tara with a sarcastic roll of her eyes. To which her girlfriend lightly tapped her leg in protest.

"And you're into art, and you're actually the only one in this group who can give me constructive criticism about my work." Your gaze dropped back to Elle, giving an accusatory look at the rest of the group.

"And you're the only one willing to have a book club with me. Don't think I can talk and have actual discussions with this lot about all the books I read," finished Isaac with a shy smile. He was the first in the gang, after Charlie, with whom you felt really close. You squeezed his hand as a silent thanks.

"We're trying to tell you how you mean so much more to us. You're Y/n Nelson. We like hanging out with you because you're a great person with great interests. Not because we have to. Not because you're Nick's sister." explained Charlie. He knew how it felt when you thought people didn't honestly like you. Or when you thought they'd be better off without you. He saw so much of himself inside of you. It made his heart tighten with sadness and love.

You stared at them all, a few tears burning in the corners of your eyes. You coughed, trying to hide the emotion flaring up in you.

"You are part of this group if you want to Y/n." Charlie nudged you with his shoulder as if he had read your thoughts. You lifted hopeful eyes towards him. You felt as if your heart might burst with joy.

"I-"

"I'm not giving you any choice." cut Darcy out of the blue."You are part of the gang. Nothing you can do about it." she declared. As always, her unexpected comment had everyone laughing. You looked at her triumphant face, euphoria spreading in your chest.

You looked at your brother, who was already beaming at you, pride and joy mixed in that sweet expression. The tears in your eyes welled up and, against the better of you, softly dropped on your cheeks. 

"Are these tears of joy...?" asked Isaac, speaking for the whole group. You had been through a lot tonight, and they had hoped their intervention would have made you happy. But they questioned if it had been too much, too soon.

You let out a soft chuckle. "Yes."

In a team effort, the whole gang jumped on you. Engulfing your body in an embrace of warmth, love, and laughter, a lot of laughter. 

"I'm so sorry for being such a..." 

You stopped mid-sentence when you felt a pinch on your arm, only to hear Nick whisper, "From now on, you are also banned from saying the 's' word. So shut it and enjoy." The whole group, including yourself, erupted in laughter. 

There would be a lot of hardships coming in the next few days, but knowing you had them all made you feel like maybe, just maybe, you'd be able to weather it.

[thisismeracing]

hiii, would you mind doing prompt 8 with lewis hamilton please ? i love your writing 🥹

Heyyy 🥹💓 thanks, I'm really glad to hear that, nonny!!! here you go, hope you like it!

From the Quick Prompt List: 8. “You said you wanted to be my friend”

word count: 1.4k (I GOT CARRIED AWAY AGAIN AAAAAA)

pairing: reader (she/her pronouns) x lewis hamilton

warnings: angst (w happy ending), not proofread, mentions of a breakup, pinning - friends to lovers trope.

When Yn called crying he didn't waste any time to show up at her door. Lewis knew he was the first person she called because that was just how they worked, they prioritized the other above all things. That was one of the reasons Jackson, Yn's ex, gave for the sudden breakup, he thought they were in love, he thought that Lewis was a looming figure, he felt like a third party in his own relationship, and it didn't matter how many times Yn repeated they were just friends Jackson was convinced either Lewis and Yn were too blind to see or he was being lied to.

When the pilot got there he used the spare key he had to get inside, he took some seconds to look around the living room, some tissues on top of the coffee table, along with an open pint of ice cream and one of her favorite books.

"Hey," he whispered when Yn showed up at the door separating the kitchen from the living room. She gave him a weak smile before running into his open arms and letting the storm take its place.

"He didn't even have a good reason, Lew," she sobbed burying her head in the crook of his neck.

Lewis brought her body close and gave a light tap on her back, a sign for her to lace her legs around him so that he could carry her. He walked with Yn, now tangled in his body, to the couch where they sat together, and he heard the way she complained about the breakup. She wasn't telling him everything, though, and he knew well enough because after all, he was her best friend, yet he chose to just listen and comfort her.

The British watched as his own heart broke at the sight of the woman he loved crying over someone else. ]

"Am I unlovable? Am I a bad lover?" Yn asked after her cries subsided, Lewis's hands going up and down her back in a soothing caress. Her question was more of a conversation with herself because her first two exes complained about her best friend too, which at the time she thought was just jealousy, now, the third time sends her a message, right? No way three of her last partners didn't like Lewis without a reason. What's there not to like about him? she thought. "I must be horrible to be around," she muttered in a huff and Lewis took a deep breath deciding he had enough.

He didn't want to confess his feelings like this, but he also couldn't watch as Yn searched for a problem inside her when it wasn't about her, but about those idiots who let her go. Who could have her a let her go? And Lewis knew her enough to know that he would try to explain for hours and she would still say the problem was her, so he decided it was time to come clean.

"The problem is not you, Yn, it was never you. It can't be you because it pains me to not be around you, it physically hurts me not being able to hug you all the time. I wish I could carry you around everywhere, I wish you could be my forever. You could never be the problem, because you're the solution, at least to me. I love you so much and it fucking kills me to watch you cry for yet another guy all the while trying to search problems on yourself when you're just...perfect."

Yn was silent for a minute. Her eyes were wide open staring ahead of Leiws at her white walls, lips slightly parted. For a second he thought that maybe he was good at hiding his feelings. It's a beat before she's scrambling off his lap, leaving the couch and standing in the middle of her living room with an accusatory look towards him.

"You said you wanted to be my friend!" Yn sticks her point finger at him, her other hand holding at her chest like it would prevent her heart from beating any faster.

Lewis keeps his sitting position on the couch, head hanging down before mustering the courage to look her in the eyes again, "I didn't lie," he states.

"Then you care to explain to me how all of a sudden you're in love with me?"

"It's not sudden, I've been in love with you for years now, Yn. You just didn't see it," his tone is not harsh but his words made her take a step back. "When we met and I said I wanted to be your friend I wasn't lying, I still wanna be your best friend, but I want to be your lover as well, I want you to have a friend in your partner because I know you never did with the other guys. I want everything with you," Lewis confessed.

Yn shakes her head, tears spilling from her eyes like a waterfall. The realization that maybe all her past boyfriends were right: she was oblivion to the fact that there was something between her and her best friend. He loved her and Yn felt guilty for a second because she couldn't find it in her to deny that maybe it was mutual. Maybe she went through three breakups in the past few years because she was afraid of being alone and having to face her own feelings for Lewis.

Still, she shook her head looking away.

She watched from her peripheral vision as Lewis got up from her couch, one hand inside the pockets of his pants, the other sticking in her direction, instinctively she took a step back.

He winced.

It physically hurt her too, but she couldn't stop the tears nor the tsunami of thoughts about all their interactions and all her feelings and how she was blind to the truth all this time.

"Call me if you need me," the Brit whispered before heading to the door and leaving Yn to the sound of her own breath and then the sound of her own sobs because now she was crying harder than when Jackson broke up with her. The truth was, she did not really care about Jackson, she liked him just fine, his breaking up with her hurt her ego and put her on the spot of looking inside herself again, which was not good, or so she thought.

But Lewis leaving?

Lewis leaving felt like part of her went too. Like someone broke her in half and threw the other piece somewhere no one could find.

How would life be without Lewis?

She took some time to think, took hours watching the city go by from her window, all while mentally cursing herself. She could have faced it before. They could have been together for years. Yn was so tired of letting her fears speak louder than her desires. Lewis was so much braver and bolder than her, she took a deep breath and prayed for it to rub a bit in her, his boldness, his courage because it was too late to back away when the Uber accepted her ride to his address.

It was the middle of the night, almost two thirty in the morning the last time she checked her phone, but still, she wanted to be bold, to have courage, she didn't want to waste any more time.

Yn buzzed his doorbell nonstop until a pajama-clad Lewis Hamilton opened the door with a confused frown on his face. She didn't give him much time to question before starting.

"I am so sorry, I feel so dumb, I should have been more honest with myself and with you, Lewis."

"I-" he started, but she cut him off.

"I love you," she confessed. "I love you too and I was just too afraid to lose our friendship to confess it, I didn't want to see my feelings for what it was, and I made you suffer in the process. I am truly sorry for that."

It was like a height left her shoulders.

"Am I still in time to be your best friend but also your lover and biggest admirer and whatever more there is to be?"

Lewis chuckled rolling his eyes at her cute antics before sweeping her off of her feet into a tight hug that gave them just enough space to stare at each other's faces and finally kiss.

Wrote this while listening to "Nobody gets me" by queen SZA. Hope yall like this, I am way too sleepy to try and proofread or look for basic mistakes, so I'm really sorry if you see those. Don't forget to like, reblog, yada yada yada it makes me happy and inspires me to write more, do it without thinking twice <3 *mwah*

[ramblingautisticman]

Favorite cameo in the movie and then if you want to you can write a small snippet of them interacting with the characters in a way that they didn't in the movie that you wish they did

Honestly, favourite camoe is probably Laura, and I hate that we didn't really see all that much of her!

Obviously we have that scene where her and Logan talk around the campfire, and then scene with her and Logan at the end around the table with Mary Puppins, but I would have loved to see more- especially her interacting with Wade!

I feel like they would get along really well, Laura finds the childishness of Wade refreshing and it shows her that she can still be a kid, even if she has grown up. And Wade loves getting to be steppool to her, taking her to the mall and watching rom-coms together while eating ice cream.

Obviously, that's more of a wishful thinking than something that would happen in canon.

In the movie? I think I would have loved to see a scene at the end where she talks to Wade. Thanks him for looking after Logan and keeping him safe, for getting her out of the void and getting a second chance at a life with her dad (even if it isn't her real one), so here is alittle snippet of that! I'm honestly thinking of writing a full blown fanfiction of the three of them being a family- they deserve happiness for once (let's be real, I would write the angstiest shit but ya know, they will be happy eventually)!

---------------------------------------------------

Wade hadn't really thought much about Laura coming back to stay with them. He had assumed that, after she was able to return back to this universe, she would want to stay close to Logan and Logan would want to stay close to her. Since Logan was staying here- well- it just made sense she would too.

Sure, it would be a tight fit, but Wade had grown a soft spot for both Logan and Laura already, and so had Al. He was actually worried he might get kicked out so the other two had more space, considering how Al had been treating them so nicely. Maybe she had just snorted a really good batch of cocaine.

Once everyone had left the dinner, Wade started the washing up while Logan was sorting the trash. Usually he would just let it build and build until he had no more plates or until the table was covered- but he knew the two Wolverines wouldn't appreciate the smell- so he had decided to clean them now. Because he was a good host.

He had been humming to himself as he scrubbed the plates, in his own little world completely, before letting out a loud shriek at the sudden sight of Laura next to him. "Jesus Laura! Almost gave me a heart attack!" Wade yelled, soap and water now splashing everywhere as he flailed his arms about, looking at the culprit of his close encounter with death. "Your like a fucking ninja- how were you so quiet?"

Laura just looked at him with an unimpressed expression, her arms crossed firmly over his chest. "Okay- now I'm not shitting myself- if there something I can help you with baby Peanut?" He asked with a wide smile, clasping his hands together infont of him.

"Don't call me that." She mutterd before glancing away and speaking again. "I...thank you. That's all. You kind of saved my ass- and Logan's- so....thank you. I'm glad you...found him. Kept him safe.....brought him back- back to me.." Laura spoke quietly, not looking at Wade, clearly not used to saying this kind of thing.

It was silent for a second, then Wade was quickly wrapping his arms tightly around Laura, not giving a fuck that his arms and shirt are wet from washing the plates. "Awwwwww baby Peanut! Your so sweet! I am glad I found you both- two amazing strays I get to keep! Even if I technically kidnapped one of you from their home!" He rambled, a huge smile now on his face.

And yes, Laura did stab him for hugging her, but Wade thought it was worth it.

(Honestky, it's not like the best writing I've ever done, but I love the idea so much lmao!)

[drabbles-mc]

All For Nothing

Angel Reyes & F!Reader

For Day 18 of @whumpril's 2023 Challenge: abandoned

Warnings: 18+, angst, language

Word Count: 2.6k

A/N: The way that I went into this thinking I was going to write an EZ fic and then somehow, somewhere along the way it turned into an Angel fic. I'm not upset about it but my how the turntables.

Angel Reyes Taglist: @buckybarneshairpullingkink @lilacyennefer @justreblogginfics @rosieposie0624 @queenbeered @littlekittymeow @thesandbeneathmytoes @garbinge @kelpies-shed @beardburnsupersoldiers @louisianalady @gemini0410 @frattsparty @amorestevens @withmyteeth @winchestershiresauce @nessamc @narcolini @mijagif @choochoo284 @fanfic-n-tabulous @artemiseamoon @passionatewrites @justazzi (If you want to be added to any of my taglists, please let me know!)

You’d spent weeks trying to get Angel to take you Stockton to visit EZ. It wasn’t exactly a short drive, and truth be told it wasn’t a place that you really wanted to go by yourself. Every week you would ask him, and every week he would come up with a different reason why he couldn’t go.

“Do you even care?” you finally snapped one day.

It got Angel to stop in his tracks. Suddenly the juice that he had been so interested in pouring into his glass was no longer holding his attention. He slammed the carton down much harder than necessary. You knew that it was a low blow, and a question that you had no right to ask, but you were so sick of getting blown off because of excuses so thin that you could see through them without squinting.

He shook his head at you, jaw hardened. “Watch your fuckin’ mouth.”

It was the meanest he’d ever sounded with you and it set you back on your heels. You nodded as you tried to pull your words back together, the look on his face having caused them to scatter. You sighed, looking down at the floor for a second before looking back up at him. “Sorry.”

He sucked his teeth, shaking his head. “You know I fucking—”

“I know,” you cut him off, your tone genuinely apologetic as you said, “and I’m sorry. That, that was fucked up. I shouldn’t have…”

He stood there silently for a few seconds after your voice trailed off. You were wondering if he was going to tell you to get the hell out of his place. That was usually how the discussion ended. He always found a way to say it somewhat nicely, but every week when you showed up, you always left empty-handed.

“Why do you wanna go so bad, anyway?” he finally asked as he put the carton of juice back in the fridge.

The question gave you pause—it felt like the answer to it was glaringly obvious. Instead of giving a straight answer, you flipped the question back on him. “Why don’t you? Don’t you…” you tried hard to pick your words carefully, “Don’t you miss him?”

He frowned for a moment. “’Course I miss him”

“Then why won’t you go with me?”

He couldn’t meet your eyes as he tried to figure out the best way to answer that question. He busied himself with taking a sip from the glass he’d just filled, his gaze flitting everywhere that kept him from having to look you in the eyes.

Finally, he looked at you, hands still fidgeting with the glass in his hands. “The fuck am I supposed to say to him? He’s,” he shook his head, “he’s lookin’ at twenty years, and you want me to just go in and? What? Talk to him about the fucking weather?”

You frowned. It wasn’t that you didn’t understand where Angel was coming from, but in your head it wasn’t a good enough reason to not go. How were they supposed to figure any of it out if he never showed up?

“You’re right,” you started, and you could see it on his face that he wasn’t expecting you to say that, “he is looking at twenty years.” You stepped in a little closer to him. “All the more reason to make sure you actually go and see him. You can’t,” you caught yourself, “we can’t just abandon him in there because it’s uncomfortable to show up.”

The hurt look on Angel’s face let you know that he could see you were right. It didn’t mean that he was going to cave to it easily. He sniffed, shaking his head slightly. “If it means that much to you, I’ll give you my fuckin’ keys and you can take my car up there yourself.”

“Angel—”

“No,” he stopped you short. Stepping in closer to you, he made himself a little taller, a little more intimidating. “You wanna go and see him? Fine. No one is stopping you. But don’t,” he shook his head, “don’t make this my fucking problem too.”

“But—”

“If he wanted me there,” his voice became sharper and sharper with every word, “he’d fucking tell me.”

“And how is he supposed to do that?!” You stepped in, putting yourself as close to chest-to-chest with him as you were able. “That’s your brother.”

“And he’s your, what, again?” he snapped. “Remind me?”

That stung in a way you hadn’t been expecting. “Fuck you.”

“Get out,” he said, nodding towards the door.

“What?”

“Fuckin’ leave.” He pointed with his hand this time, adding extra emphasis.

You did as he said, knowing that you weren’t going to get anywhere with him. You slammed the door behind you as you left, not sure if you were slamming it because of Angel, or because of the whole entire situation. None of it felt fair. None of it was fair. For a moment you wondered if you would be better off if you acted like Angel, just trying to turn a blind eye to it all and pretending that everything was normal. You just didn’t have that in you.

So you finally took matters into your own hands and made the long trek to Stockton with just the radio to keep you company. You discovered that there were quite a few stretches of highway that got next to no radio reception at all, so it was just you and the static from the speakers. If your mind hadn’t already been so loud, the near-silence would’ve driven you insane.

Once you were there, the last thing that you wanted to do was sit back down again. But that’s exactly what you were instructed to do once you’d made it through the very tight security of the Stockton County Correctional Facility. The waiting area wasn’t as packed as you thought it would be, which made you sad in a way. Clearly Angel wasn’t the only family member who didn’t care to make the time to show up.

Minutes kept ticking by, and you could feel yourself becoming restless. You tried not to fidget around too much, or look too nervous. You didn’t want to make it seem like you were anxious because you were doing something wrong. Some of the other people in the waiting area left to go visit whoever they were there for. You watched people come and go while you simply sat there in limbo waiting for your name to be called. A few different times you looked over at the man who was sitting behind the desk closer to the exit, and then over at the two correctional officers who were by the doorway that led to the actual visiting area. No one was making eye contact with you, and you didn’t want to walk up and start asking questions.

Finally, one of the guards walked over to you. “Sorry, Miss, but we’re going to have to ask you to leave.”

Your heart dropped into your stomach. “Wh-what? Did, did I do something wrong?” If there was something that you could fix, you’d do whatever they asked. They couldn’t just send you away, not when you’d already made it all the way there.

He shook his head, not sounding upset but not sounding overly sympathetic, either. “You didn’t. But you need to go.”

“Is EZ okay?” you asked, panic making your blood start to run cold. “Did something happen to him?”

“I can’t—”

“Please,” you cut him off even though you knew that you shouldn’t. “Why can’t I see him?”

You must’ve looked more pitiful than you thought, because for a moment the man’s face seemed just a little less jaded and unkind. It was a fleeting moment but it was long enough to convince him to tell you, “Said he doesn’t want to see you.”

“Oh.” You hated how fucking sad and pathetic you sounded, especially to this guy of all people.

You tried not to think about the tears that were quickly gathering in your eyes as you grabbed your bag and stood up from your chair and started to make your way towards the door to leave. Getting out was a much faster process than getting in, especially when you hadn’t even gone in to actually see anyone.

The drive back home felt far longer than the drive out had. It felt like you had been crying for the entirety of it, but you knew that that wasn’t true. You still found it hard to believe that your body hadn’t run out of tears yet. Mile after mile of road disappeared beneath you but it still felt like you weren’t going fast enough. You couldn’t outrun the feelings that were clawing away at you.

You didn’t know how you ended up parking back at Angel’s. When you left, you had every intention of going home, flinging yourself onto your bed, and crying yourself to sleep. But somehow you ended up back here. You were about to just keep on going, or even just finally allow yourself to pass out in your car. You didn’t really want to see Angel, not with the way the two of you had left things, not with how things had played out with EZ. All of the lights looked like they were off anyway, so even if you went and knocked on his door he probably wouldn’t answer.

Your hand was hovering above the gearshift, trying to figure out if you were going to put your car back in drive. It was only then that you noticed the way that your hand was trembling, and once you noticed that, it was like the floodgates opened back up instantly. Tears spilled over onto your cheeks, sobs forcing their way past your throat as you dropped your face into your hands. Your whole body was shaking as you cried, like there were so many feelings in you that you simply just couldn’t physically contain them.

Time was irrelevant as you sat there hunched over in the driver’s seat of your car. Your face stayed planted in your palms, the rest of the world completely tuned out despite the fact that you weren’t even at home.

The sound of someone rapping their knuckles against the glass of your window caused you to scream, jumping and pulling against the seatbelt that was still strapped across your chest. All of the sadness that you had just been drowning in was instantly pushed to the backburner as your heartrate skyrocketed.

Turning to see who it was, some of the anxiety drained out of you when you came face to face with Angel. He was leaning against the side of your door, one arm braced against the top of the frame as he used the other to knock. His hair was a mess, eyes letting you know that you either woke him up when you pulled in, or he’d woken up randomly in the middle of the night and just so happened to see your car out front.

He nodded towards the door. “Come on.” He pulled your car door open for you. “Don’t just sit out here all night like some kind of PI or some shit.”

The comment got a weak smile out of you as you undid your seatbelt. Grabbing your bag from the passenger seat, you got out of the car, not in any great rush to shut and lock the door behind you before following Angel. He didn’t say anything else as the two of you walked, you just one small stride behind him. You were a little thankful for that in a way, but you knew that the silence wasn’t going to last forever.

You found yourself standing in his living room, bag clutched tightly to your side as you stood there unsure of what you were supposed to do now. It wasn’t as though you spent a lot of your free time here, especially not at this hour, especially not after the blowout the two of you had had in the morning. Nothing about this was within the scope of your routine.

“Next time,” Angel said as he walked to the kitchen to get coffee for each of you, “just come up and knock.”

You shifted your weight from one foot to the other. “I didn’t, um,” you wiped at the stray tears on your face, “I didn’t think you’d want to see me.”

He scoffed, shaking his head as he poured coffee into the two mugs he’d gotten out. “You know what time it is? I don’t wanna see anybody right now.”

You accepted the coffee as he handed it to you, grateful for something warm and inviting after how your entire day had gone. It wasn’t enough to fix it, but at least it wasn’t another thing going wrong. Angel watched as you took a slow sip.

“How was the trip?” he asked, even though the answer seemed fairly obvious.

“Think I’d be crying my eyes out to you if it had gone well?”

He exhaled sharply through his nose, still too drowsy to muster up a real laugh. “Yea.” He took a few steps and sat down on the couch, too tired to keep standing. “Wanna…you know…talk about it?”

You shrugged, shaking your head. “We don’t have to. I know you don’t, you know…”

“Then why’d you come here?” The question wasn't accusatory like so many other statements he’d thrown at you over the last few weeks. He sounded genuinely curious.

“I don’t know,” you told him honestly. You stepped over and sat down next to him on the couch. “I just sort of ended up here.” He nodded in response but didn’t say anything else. There was a long stretch of silence before you finally caved and said, “He wouldn’t let me see him.”

Your voice was so soft and sad that Angel almost didn’t catch what you had said. Once he heard it, though, and realized the weight of it, his face softened. Normally you wouldn’t want his pity, but right now it was the closest thing you had to comfort.

“Shit,” he said, tucking his chin down to his chest. “I’m sorry.”

You shrugged. “Not your fault.” Sniffling, you looked down at the mug of coffee in your hands. “You’re the one who said it wasn’t a good idea.”

You didn’t expect the soft bewilderment in his voice as he said, “I didn’t think he’d do that to you.” The statement hung in the air for a moment before he let out a sigh. “So much for him being the one feeling abandoned, huh?”

That got a sad laugh out of you that you hadn’t been expecting. Meeting his eyes, you shook your head, managing a tiny smile as you told him, “You’re the worst.”

“Hey,” he took another sip of his coffee, “you came to me, so, y’know.” The two of you shared a tired laugh before he let out a deep breath. “Wanna crash here?”

You nodded. “That okay?”

“Yea.” He stood up, trying to stretch and also manage to not spill his coffee. “Let me grab you some blankets and shit.”

You felt your body relax at that, the prospect of not having to get back in your car again and drive home, the prospect of not having to be alone after a day that had left you feeling more lonely than you thought you were capable of.

“Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it.” He saw the way you nodded and he said, “Nah, seriously. I don’t want other people thinkin’ they can show up in the middle of the night to my place cryin’ and shit.”

You laughed quietly. “I won’t say anything.”

He gave you a nod at that, and you could see the smirk that was curling the end of his mouth. Despite the heaviness that was still lingering in your chest, all of the questions and emotions that you were going to have to try and sort through, for the moment things felt manageable. And that was the best you could hope for.

[joocomics]

imagine fucking with gunil in his parents house so he need to make you stay quiet because he would feel so embarrassed if his parents listen to you guys doing that like he looks like someone that looks good in front of his parents but with you is completely different

I was thinking about him doing something to you to shut up 😋😋

-🐣

OH MY GOD THIS IS AMAZING 🗣️🗣️🗣️

this made me think of something more specific and just slightly different from the gunil you’re describing (i think ??) but it’s what i immediately thought of I NEED TO SHARE!!

imagine immediately straddling his lap when you get to his house, kissing him and messing up his hair by massaging his scalp with your eager fingertips. he’s always busy studying and working, so when he invites you over you make sure to get as much taste of him as you can. hips are moving back and forth on his growing bulge while his hands are cupping your butt cheeks, his mouth is savouring your neck.. until his parents come home from work earlier than usual… and it’s over. he STRUGGLES to collect himself. he’s sweating everywhere, his palms are running down his clothes furiously, as he wants nothing to ever expose what he was up to before going downstairs.

suddenly he’s reserved again, speaking in a cold manner and avoiding your eyes. he tells you it’s time to leave, but in your ears that rings like an erotic threat. it makes you act bold. it makes you want to take things even further. he’s always so put together, so in control of every situation. you want to see him snap for once. so you refuse to leave until he makes you cum.

at first he thinks it’s a joke, but when you hide a few fingers between your thighs, releasing moans and squelching sounds, he realises he cannot think of plan b. if he wants to make sure you’re not going to do anything to wrong his look he has to fuck you while his parents are walking around the house.

he has to do it carefully and without any sound, but his body tells him otherwise. he’s so annoyed with you right now - the way you always make him lose grip on reality, the way you can so easily get him to turn his back on the responsibilities he has. it makes his hands grope you until they leave marks, and his cock shove into you with force that shoots intoxicating pain. he lays you on the ground cause the bed is noisy and he stuffs your mouth with your own wet underwear before doing anything else. he lets you have a taste of your own medicine.

he cusses you through heavy warm whispers. every bad name he calls you along with every harsh hit up your sweet spot makes your orgasm feel closer. why do you always do this, he asks, why do you never listen and instead make him angry and risk his own image.. how do you always get under his skin? but he can only watch your silent cries running down your face.

when you cum he doesn’t stop. why would he? you look so horny, wasn’t cumming what you wanted? you cover your face with both hands, shaking head left to right in resistance. “i’m just doing what you wished for, sweetheart,” he says, continuing with the same quick pace. he decides to add pressure on your clit too, so you cum faster than the first time.

the only way he can silence himself is by biting on your body, so when you get home and head to the shower, you see every single spot his teeth were digging into. you feel the stinging soreness between your legs, the weakness the multiple orgasms brought you, but you love it.

it makes you anticipate with excitement the next right moment to provoke gunil like this again.

[preciadosbass]

21/8/24 [1X DIY <collage> — technically a draft from yesterday as it was posted on a schedule, key + significant photos at end]

wow, i’ve been doing this for a while now. i woke up at just before eight and listened to frank iero’s ‘new’ single and oh my fucking god its so good. i love frank sm. i scrolled through my tumblr feed until 8:40 when i finally got dressed. today i’m going to adventure island [a theme park] with this person i know. i wish i could call her a friend, but she makes fun of me too much for me to count and i overall just don’t feel comfortable with her. however she’s alright to me occasionally, like today she seemed happy to be around me. i only see her as my mum is bestfriends with her mum, but my mum dosent believe the way she usually acts towards me.

today i got dressed into my silent hill shirt, black ripped skinny jeans, knee high converse, two spiked cuffs [one with longer spikes and without a third row], mcr bracelet, panic! at the disco bracelet, sleeping with sirens bracelet, diy can tab bracelet, and a diy beaded bracelet. along with my kellin quinn necklace, a taxidermy scorpion necklace, a taxidermy raccoon tail and a silver studded belt across the right side of my hip/thigh.] [because i was anticipating cold weather as the park is directly behind the beach, and it’s the warmest outfit i have. and yes, i copied this from mondays journal, shh]

i listened to my main playlist instead of a cd while putting everything on as i added three more full albums to it after listening to ‘this song is a curse…’ [illuminaudio - chiodos, discovering the waterfront - silverstein [[im surprised this wasn’t in it already]], and wires…and the concept of breathing - a skylight drive.] and then went outside to see boris at 9:30 after straightening my hair + putting on eyeliner. like always, i’d already stood in the doorway and said goodmorning upon waking up, but i wanted to sit by him/talk/and cuddle. i didn’t manage to be out with him for long as R [that person im going out with] and her mum/stepdad pulled up on the drive. so i greeted them and started packing my bag on the kitchen table.

while i was doing that, R handed me a monster original and started speaking about how she dosent know what one i like, but i’ve never had any other flavour as i dont generally go out and buy food/drink. it was really sweet of her and it proves that i guess she’s getting more friendly with me. just a few months ago she wouldn’t let me speak about much/would make fun of me constantly/etc. i’m glad that someone thinks of me and that anyone would do such a thing. i hope we do end up being friendly in a friend way, if that makes sense. like i personally consider a friend someone you can trust and open up to, and i hope we get to that point. i think what’s been preventing it is the distance between where we live.

anyway, in my bag i had: my camera [i bring it everywhere], two battery packs [one’s always in there & out of battery], a lead for the battery pack[s], a coke zero, my monster energy, my wallet with my disability access card, my skullcandy headphones, my phone, a tiny bag because i’ve been losing/having my earrings break a lot recently, my safe food, a few band pins that have fallen of my backpack, hand sanitiser, a safety pin [i don’t even know why], and a bat plushie. its not even a comfort plushie, he’s just permanently in my bag since i got him at another theme park, chessington, at the vampire ride. once i’d got everything ready to leave, i said goodbye to boris and me and R’s family set off.

while we were in the car, R suggested making a blend [again, she was acting more friendly which is super nice] but it didn’t work. then i had the idea of adding each others playlists to one another and putting it on shuffle, but that didn’t work either as her spotify was only playing songs off her playlist. either way, it was nice she thought of it. we ended up listening to our own playlists on the way to the theme park. i listened to: shoot the girl first, the used, signal the escape, fall out boy, falling in reverse, patrick stump, and my chemical romance. also on the way there, we saw an older woman with cat face paint on and hair ties that made her look like she had cat ears. i wonder what the occasion was, or if there was an occasion. just something i randomally remembered about the drive.

we arrived at 10 and got in not even five minutes later. we walked over to the stall where they sort out your tickets/passes and R’s mum activated my disability access card. it was super embarrassing because they had to take a picture of me, and it took ages, but everything eventually went through and worked. the first actual thing we did was find a table and put all of our stuff down. i met J and A. J is R’s family friend, and J’s mums bestfriend. i’m not too sure who A is to the both of them, but he went around with us. he’s 19, so i thought it’d be a little awkward, but when we started walking around to the other side of the park to this ride called green scream, i realised it wasn’t going to be.

its a kids ride, but for some reason its enjoyable. unfortunately the photo thingy wasn’t open so i didn’t get to see what we all looked like, but oh well. the next ride we went on was rage, one out of two of the bigger and ‘scarier’ roller coasters. i used to not mind rage, but over the years it’s become incredibly rough and your head hurts for at least half an hour upon getting off. its a shame because it completely prevents it from being an enjoyable ride, but it looks really smooth. we got on and set off up the vertical lift hill, which is honestly the best part, because your head can’t start hurting yet. then you go down this drop which is quite similar to thorpe park’s saw the ride, just less steep. the entire time the ride was running, my scorpion necklace was tied around my eyes. i was scared itd come off because i’ve already had one break without me knowing and they’re really cool/expensive to buy as you need to make sure their ethical taxidermy.

but, it did make the photo look silly. when i first saw it, i thought i somehow forgot to take my glasses of and didn’t notice. i did take a picture of the ride photo but got told off which was really embarrassing lmaoo, there was someone else taking a photo though and nobody said anything so i don’t know what was going on with that. [photo at end] i’m not too sure in what order i went on the rides beyond this point of the day, but i’ll carry on speaking about it anyways. afterwards, we went back to the table to have some snacks and talk a little to J + R’s mum. once we’d done, we went back round to where rage is and went on the blue [outside] water slide as it was boiling and it didn’t matter whether we got wet or not. there isn’t an access queue for this ‘ride’ so we queued up with everyone else and got round to having a turn at around 12:35.

A wanted to go on the green [inside] water slide so we split up once we got to the actual queues for each slide. it went long before me and R got on our raft. i went on the front and she placed herself at the back. we got absolutely soaking wet and the photo of us was so cool because our facial expressions were questionable and you could see the full length of my converse in it. i didn’t take a photo though, as the person behind the stand looked intimidating. afterwards we went back to the table and then went on the indoor ‘scary’ ride. which isn’t scary at all - mind you, it’s another kids ride - but the props and things are cool. it’s one of those rides where you go around in little carts and as you look around there’s holograms/animatronics/figures except it’s mostly monster/clown themed.

while waiting to be loaded onto the carts, my necklace started glowing [photo at end cuz why not] its kinda embarrassing to actually get on the ride. when you have an access pass, you get on first via the exit. but because of how the ride is designed, you have to get on - then they run it around a small bit of track while everyone looks at you. and then the others queuing get on. its so awkward knowing everyone’s staring at you slowly going by 😭. it was too dark to take any proper photos but i took a blurry photo of one of the larger figures because it glows and i think it’s cool. [photo at end] the last time i went to adventure island and on this ride with my mum + prevision, the ride faulted at a small hill and punctured a literal hole in my mums arm, and bruised both of mine, but today it went down it smoothly. thank god.

after getting off, we went on a sky drop. there was another one that had just been made which we planned to go on after. there was a problem with R and how small the seat was so she had to switch to one two seats away from me. the ride itself is pretty tame, but i have a weak stomach so it didn’t feel great lmaoo // from what i remember, afterwards we went round to the rage exit to get a time to come back and get on. it’s hard to explain but that’s how the ride access works. you go up to rides, ask for a time to come back, they add on how long they think people have been queuing in the general queue, and then you come back after X amount of time. so quite a lot of the time me, R and A were waiting at the table/going on smaller rides to pass time.

so, we went back to the table [J & A left] and came back to rage after around 40 minutes + the walk to the ride. i didn’t really fancy going on again, and A didn’t come altogether, but R wanted to do it did for her, although my head was still hurting from the last time we went on. this time, i was smart enough to put my necklace in my pocket. even going up the lift hill gave me more of a headache. and because my neck was still weak i couldn’t really keep my head back to the headrests, so my head was banging on the shoulder restraints. my vision also kept on going completely white. we both felt really shaken up afterwards so we went back to the table and everyone had something to eat. me and R decided to go on some tame rides to calm our sickness. it’s weird that i felt so bad afterwards, im completely used to going on big rollercoasters like the smiler, saw, etc, it’s just so rough.

we went on this mini ferris wheel and it was freezing. it took ages for everyone to be loaded on and while the people at the bottom are getting on, your stuck at the top above the sea, where you get all the wind. behind us was a guy wearing an exodus shirt which was cool, R didn’t think so though. she was making fun of him. carrying on, the ride eventually started and it was actually really calming. [photo at end] you could see the sea and the rest of the park nicely from up there. at this point i was getting more and more exhausted because i forgot i had a monster and i don’t ever wake up as early as what i did and then be full on all day. it finished at 3:10, and then we got the time for the ride beside it. R had been on before, but i hadn’t. i say that, but i definitely have - i just dont remember. the worker said ten minutes so we sat at the table [i rested my head in my hands and nearly fell asleep], and came back at 3:22. it was once again a kids ride, but i genuinely think it was faster than rage. and that has a loop. it accelerated so quickly i genuinely thought the controls had gone haywire.

but, this made it fun. it was the best ride i went on. while we were at the table beforehand, we decided on that being our last ride, so once it finished we packed everything up. we left the official premises at 4 and then got the adventure island fish and chips outside at 4:10. i didn’t have much because i couldn’t check the calories and i could already imagine how bad they were. i didn’t want to seem rude though, as R’s mum had paid half 70% of the price. while we ate, R’s stepdad walked to the car to drive back round to the seaside where we were sitting and pick us up. i noticed a lot of seagulls sitting on the rocks around the kid area of the sea so i took a picture of them with my camera. [photo at end]

i couldn’t zoom in as much as i wanted to because my lens was switched over from the normal setting. i just took it for the fun of it so it’s in no way how i usually take photos, the lighting on the rocks isn’t bad though. he got there at 4:30 and me and R listened to our playlists on the way back again. what came on shuffle on the way home was: patrick stump, panic! at the disco, silverstein, mccafferty, and get scared. we arrived back at my house at 5:40 and i cuddled boris for however long hopefully wouldn’t be considered disrespectful to guests. i also realised that he’d finally had his itch treatment yay!!

i asked my parents how he got along with it and according to my parents, he was vocal, but not agressive out of stress like he usually is. i’m so proud of him. then i went upstairs to my sisters room because that’s where R was. she was just on her phone so i sat on the floor and organised the photos taken today into picture collages. i stayed up there until they all left at 7:40. R was getting mad at me for sitting next to her anyways. once they’d started heading home, i went out to boris, showed my dad some band stuff, and then wrote a lot of this journal. i did this until 9:30 where i went outside properly with boris. i did go and see him every now and again while journaling but not for extended periods as my phone literally wont charge. i came back in at 2:10. while i was out there i noticed there are baby ones of those generously sized spiders that hang out on the driveway at night.

once i was back in the warm, i asked my parents if they had any receipts for my collage as i only had my coraline 3D receipts + a small cutout from the card that came with my insect stickers. it just shows each individual one so you know which ones you’ve got. my dad had an asda/primark/petrol receipts and my mum gave me the leftover paperwork/receipts from adventure island. i finished at 10:45 because it took me ages to work out how i wanted the collage to be set out and whatnot. either way i like the colour combo. [photo at end] after finishing, i went out to the kitchen to sit with boris and came back into my room at 11:20 because my phone ran out again.

i wrote even more of this journal and went upstairs to ask my parents questions about boris at 11:35. around this time, my head started hurting a concerning amount so i took some meds. im aware i sound so dramatic right now but you don’t understand how torturous that ride is until you’ve experienced it and the feeling afterwards. my eyes kept on going cross eyed and parts of my vision were cutting out. i do know i’m not the only one who feels like this after rage, though, because while we were waiting to go on for the first time a woman came off and she could barely walk afterwards. however don’t know whether my eating or sleep contributed/s to how bad my head is feeling. i finished my questions at 1, wrote a few paragraphs of this, and then said goodnight to boris.

i didn’t tell him about my day as my parents told me to tell him tomorrow so my head wouldn’t get worse so i gave him a little spoiler and cleaned the dog food can tabs in the sink. im going to somehow make a flower looking chain charm out of them. i did this while speaking to boris/apologising for going out, things like that. id shown him my collage earlier so i took some different shaped can tabs, the big dog can ones, my collage book, and a j20 bottlecap into my room to put into their assigned places for when i make stuff out of them. [photo at end]

then i went back out to boris and finished saying goodnight to him. because i cant stroke around where his ointment was applied [his neck] its quite a struggle to cuddle him the way i usually would, but i eventually finished at 2:24. i was supposed to be super quick as i wasn’t telling him about today, even though i always wish i could be longer. i then gave him his last meal of the day and he went in my room 3x times while i was awake. my head was still in excruciating pain despite the paracetamol so i went to sleep at 2:50 after finishing this journal. i kept on falling asleep and letting go of my phone/almost deleting paragraphs at a time. so i hope all of this still makes sense.

🗝️ — boris/my cat, prevision/keyworker i have to see instead of being taken back into mainstream education, questions about boris/i ask my parents questions about my cat to verify he's okay + will be okay in the morning. its a compulsive thing and i'm hopefully going to be tested for OCD in the future.

have a good day/night O_o

[nightingale-ghost-writer]

Maybe [Soap x Fem!OC]

Summary: Soap finds a kindred spirit during a trying time

Author’s Notes: This is a little of a long intro, feel free to skip it! I’ve been reading fanfiction for years, and I’ve started dozens of fics. This is the first one I’ve ever finished. (11.8K words!!!) It started off with me wanting Soap to get some medical care for his unaddressed injuries after Alone, and just exploded from there. I wanted to really highlight the bond he and Ghost formed, and then I wanted to give him love (because he deserves it!). I know it’s a bit sparse on the Price and Gaz side of things, but I feel like their bonds with Soap are sort of assumed going into this game. This game, to me, is about Soap learning that sometimes the right thing to do isn’t always so obvious, and Ghost learning to work with a team, thanks to Soap. I loved this campaign dearly, so I have a lot of dialogue carried over from scenes I really wanted to set. That being said, I changed some stuff to better incorporate my OC, Daniela. Writing reader-insert fics is a skill I just do not possess. If you’re reading, I hope you enjoy it!

And to my dear @uselsshuman, who is the furthest thing from useless, thank you so much for your encouragement to write this. Your writing and support really inspired me to get this done. This one’s for you. ❤

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters or events from Modern Warfare

Warnings: language, canon-typical violence, suggestive content

Soap tucked himself behind a door, braced his back against the wall, and did his level best to breathe as silently as possible. He could hear the Shadows’ footsteps and radio chatter nearby.

He pulled back the hammer on the desert eagle he’d found in the café safe and held his breath. He didn’t want to get into a gunfight, not here. Not with them. He had decent cover, but his arm throbbed where a bullet was lodged, his ribs stung where his plates had kept him from another, his whole body ached from his jumps and falls in the city, and he was almost certain he’d damaged something in his left hip the day before. 

That particular injury came from running along cliff faces to escape the cartel, which was bad enough. Adding the Shadows to that? That was terrible.

As the footsteps faded, Soap let out a slow, low breath and slumped to the ground. He let his eyes drift shut, just for a moment, taking stock of his ability to get across the plaza to the church. To Ghost. As if he knew that he was being thought about, Ghost’s voice crackled through the comms.

“Soap?“ he asked softly.

“Ghost,” whispered Soap.

“You alright?”

Soap opened his eyes and took a deep breath, peeked around the door, and answered “Think I found a way through, LT.”

“Shadows are everywhere. I’ll hold ‘em off until we RV in front of the church and secure a vehicle for exfil.”

“Roger that.” Soap crept up through the shop, taking care to stay low and move quietly.

“Give ‘em hell, Johnny. We’re almost there,” rumbled Ghost. After a moment’s pause, he added “Listen, I picked up an ally. Should help us get out of here a little easier. You’ve just got to us and we’ll get to a vehicle.”

Soap’s eyes narrowed. Ally? In Mexico? Only two people came to mind, and they were both “detained”.

“Is it Price?” he asked after a moment’s thought.

“No, one of Alejandro's Vaqueros. Wasn’t on base when Graves moved in. Showed up, realized something was wrong. We found each other killing Shadows, decided to team up.”

Soap chanced raising his head to peer out of the shop window. Seeing no Shadows, he moved for the door. “And you trust ‘im?”

“Enough, at least for now.”

“Copy that, LT. I’m on my way.”

He wiggled the door handle, but of course, nothing could be so easy. It was locked. So he pulled out the last of his makeshift pry tools, braced it in the door jamb, and pulled.

Lots of things happened all at once, then.

The door swung open. Soap yelled “Fuck!” while the Shadow said “what the- GET DOWN!”, and hit Soap with the butt of his rifle. The Shadow called his position, Soap heard “kill him!”, and then the Shadow dropped to the ground. Soap scrambled back, pressing the heel of his hand into his eye and groaning. His vision swam and his ears rang and he couldn’t get his bearings. Two more Shadows, running for the building, dropped to the sharp report of silenced sniper fire.

“Holy hell. Ghost, was that you?” Soap asked.

“Who else?” snapped Ghost’s rough voice. “Now go!”

He scrambled to his feet. And ran.

He ran as fast as his bruised body would let him, ducking behind cars and spraying with an SMG he’d picked up. He heard gunfire coming from ahead of him and cursed, grabbing for his radio.

“Ghost, how copy?”

“Johnny, got company in the church and they are not here for forgiveness. Get to the steps, we’ll be there!”

In the last few meters, Soap saw Ghost come careening out of the church doors, followed closely by a much smaller figure dressed all in black. They both turned to shoot at their followers as Soap and Ghost called out to each other. Ghost vaulted over the wrought iron fence, followed by their ally, and the three ran back the way Soap had come.

“We need a vehicle. On me!” Ghost barked. “Stay sharp. They know we’re here and they know it’s us. They’ll send more.”

Minutes that felt like hours later, after a brief firefight, the three piled into a pickup, panting and on high alert. 

“Alright, Johnny! You made it.”

“We made it, LT.” 

After ramming two Shadows with their stolen pickup, and nearly losing Ghost to another, they peeled off down an alley. Soap sagged against the seat, closing his eyes again. His heart and head were pounding.

“How’s that arm, Johnny?” asked Ghost.

Soap raised his head. “I’ll live,” he answered. He shivered violently, once, and Ghost cast a concerned glance in his direction.

“You sure it’s not infected?”

“Of course I’m not sure,” snapped Soap. Softening his voice, he added “But I think it’s just the cold. Between the tunnels and the rain, LT? Feels like I’m back home.”

Ghost nodded slowly. For a long moment, the two just basked in each others’ presence, grateful to have made it back together. Then, Ghost said “Daniela, would you take a look at the Sergeant’s arm? Can’t have him dying on us.”

Soap’s head snapped around to lock eyes with the ally he’d forgotten. Later, he’d remember this moment as an indication of his quickly deteriorating state. In the moment, though, he couldn’t wrap his head around anything but the woman in front of him.

Sometime between their getting into the truck and down the street, the black balaclava and hood had come off. The woman staring back at him had light olive skin and a mass of shiny black curls plastered to her head by rain. A thin, jagged, silvery scar ran from her cheekbone to her jaw, and her full lips were pursed in a barely-there smile. Soap thought he saw scarred flesh at the collar of her jacket. But he couldn’t tear his eyes away from hers. They were the bluest blue he’d ever seen- dark like the ocean, clear like the sky on a cloudless night, and as sharp as glass. Familiar, somehow.

He hadn’t necessarily had expectations of how this ally would look, but this was as far from expectation as possible. He had pictured a man, but even the fact that she was a woman wasn’t most shocking of all. It was her beauty.

He flinched when her hand landed lightly on his right shoulder, pulling gently.

“No, we can’t,” she said. Her voice was soft, musical, lightly accented. The lilt of just those three words had Soap’s head spinning for, at least he thought, completely different reasons than it had been spinning earlier. He adjusted his body so that rather than leaning with his left arm over the seat, his right arm hung over. The woman looked straight to the wound, gently prodding the flesh around the bullet wound, and Soap bit his tongue to keep from hissing in pain.

“Does that hurt?” she asked.

Soap tried to be nonchalant. He shrugged and said “Not so much.”

Ghost snorted. Soap didn’t blame him. The words sounded strained even to his own ears. And based on the older man’s jokes about not watching the cartel’s videos of his death “more than once”, this seemed like just the kind of thing he might find amusing. The thought made Soap smirk. The woman rolled her eyes, setting them on his again.

“What’s your name, hen?”

“I am Daniela. You are Soap, yes?” Soap nodded. Daniela nodded as well, focusing back on his arm. “Your Ghost, he told you that I am with Los Vaqueros?”

Soap and Ghost exchanged a look at “your Ghost”. Now Soap really was smirking, and he imagined that Ghost was grimacing under his mask.

“Aye, that he did,” he replied. He watched as Daniela unzipped her tactical vest and tore a strip of fabric from the bottom of her shirt. She began winding it around his bicep, grimacing slightly at the wheeze of pain he couldn’t hold back.

“Well we have a safehouse. We’ll get there, stock up, get you patched up a little better, and come up with a plan.” After carefully tying a knot in the makeshift bandage, she raised her eyes to Soap’s again. “It’s the best I can do right now.”

“I appreciate it,” he replied. He held her gaze for a moment before turning to face Ghost. “Alright, Ghost?”

Ghost glanced at him again. Even behind the mask, Soap could see his expression soften. “Alright, Johnny. You did well back there.” Soap grinned, and could tell by the crinkling around his eyes that Ghost was grinning, too.

“All thanks to you, LT.”

The rest of the ride was filled with soft chatter about Alejandro, Los Vaqueros, Graves, and the safehouse… and Soap trying, and failing, not to feel Daniela’s burning stare on the back of his neck.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Soap thought he was done for when Ghost shouted for him not to move. His feet had just touched the safehouse floor and Ghost was perched in the window. Before Soap even had time to react, a throwing knife flew past his head, embedding itself in the column just a meter away. Then he recognized Rodolfo’s voice. 

“Quién está ahí?”

“Rodolfo!”

Rodolfo rounded the corner. “Soap, Ghost! You’re alive!” Soap could see the moment Daniela mounted the window. Rodolfo’s face crumbled, his whole body seeming to sag with relief. “Daniela!”

“Rodolfo!” She leapt from the windowsill, surging forward to wrap her arms around Rodolfo’s waist. His own arms came around her shoulders and the two rocked back and forth, holding each other, speaking in rapid-fire Spanish that Soap had no hope of understanding. Rodolfo kissed the side of Daniela’s head, holding her to him tightly. Soap looked away. His eyes met Ghost’s and the two shared a slight shrug.

While Rodolfo and Daniela chattered away, Ghost stepped toward Soap.

“Daniela should be able to fix up that arm,” he said. “She’s not a formally trained medic, but she has lots of field training and experience. She told me she’s been patching up Los Vaqueros for years.”

“Aye. How’d you say you found her? Fighting Shadows?”

Ghost looked her way, nodding. “Just a few minutes before I got you on comms, I heard a scuffle. Thought it might be you, so I went in to assist. Lo and behold, I find that one slicing up a Shadow. ‘Nother pair showed up, though, and one got her in a choke-hold. Would’ve carried her off to who knows where if I hadn’t shown up.”

Soap nodded slowly. He didn’t need any more explanation. He knew the implications of what Ghost was saying and it made his blood boil.

Ghost shrugged. “She trusted me enough since I’d just saved her life, and I trusted her enough since she was fighting them and didn’t raise her gun at me. Plus, I think she’s as dedicated to the cause as Alejandro and Rodolfo.”

“Why’s that?” asked Soap. But before Ghost could answer, Rodolfo cut in.

“Where were you guys?”

“On the run,” answered Ghost.

“I was on the run,” corrected Soap. “Ghost waited for me.”

Rodolfo nodded. “Of course, no?”

Dread sank in Soap’s stomach. “No-” he began. But Ghost cut him off.

“Yes,” he said firmly, locking eyes with Soap again. “We’re a team. All of us.”

That stunned Soap into silence. He’d known they’d bonded trying to escape Las Almas with their lives, but for all of his teasing about Ghost taking a shine to him, he hadn’t actually believed that Ghost would say the same thing.

He was touched.

Maybe even more touched by the fact that the legendary lone-wolf Ghost considered him part of his team. It was likely the highest compliment he would ever get from him.

So while Rodolfo and Ghost started in on their plan to get into the prison, Soap settled down against the safehouse wall with an MRE from Alejandro’s supplies. The adrenaline shot he’d managed to get his hands on in Las Almas was waning, and he could feel every sore muscle, the bullet in his arm, and his likely sprained hip sharply. He tried to tune in to the conversation, but his attention was immediately lost when Daniela approached him with a med kit.

She grinned a bit wryly at him. “Mind if I take a better look at that arm?” Soap nodded and braced himself to stand, but Daniela jumped forward, holding out a hand. “No, don’t get up,” she said. Soap settled back to the ground as she crouched by him, reaching for her makeshift bandage from earlier.

Soap studied her as she worked. Her hair had dried and now sat at least a few centimeters higher on her head, tight ringlets falling to her shoulders. Her eyebrows furrowed just a bit as she carefully removed the bloodied fabric. Her movements were calculated, washing the wound and looking at it closely.

“How did you join Los Vaqueros?” Soap asked. For a moment, Daniela didn’t acknowledge him. Then she raised her gaze to his.

Instead of answering his question, she said “I need to get the bullet out. It’s going to hurt. Think you can handle it?”

Soap nodded once, sharply. Her gaze softened. “I don’t have any painkillers. This isn’t going to be some… little pain. It’s going to hurt a lot.”

Soap cocked a wry grin back at her. “Just so long as my screaming doesn’t bother you,” he teased. A wicked spark lit in her eyes at that.

“It won’t bother me. Maybe I’d like to hear you scream.”

Soap’s jaw dropped. It was exactly the type of thing he’d say, but having it said to him was dumbfounding. Who was this woman?

Her smile only grew as she watched him try to compose himself. He was grateful when her gaze dropped back to the task at hand, sterilizing a pair of forceps. He was sure his face was flaming red.

“Los Vaqueros saved my life when I was sixteen,” she said softly. “My village leader refused the cartel’s demands, so El Sin Nombre set to burning the village down. I was one of three survivors.” That explained Ghost’s certainty of her dedication.

She moved to his right side, between his leg and outstretched arm, and gripped his bicep below the bullet wound.

“My whole family died that day.”

She set the forceps at the wound’s entry. Soap took a deep breath.

“I have burns all over my body from our house burning down.” That explained the scarring at her neck.

Soap lurched forward, gasping, when she dug the forceps in. The pain was so blinding that he nearly missed Daniela cursing softly in Spanish before sitting on his right leg, leaning her body against his to keep him from moving. Nearly missed. But didn’t. 

“Lo ciento,” she whispered, sparing him a concerned glance. He grit his teeth and leaned his head back against the wall, chest heaving as he took deep breaths through his nose. 

“I’m sorry,” he gritted out. “I can’t imagine what that must have been like for you.”

Daniela shrugged. “Alejandro pulled me out of that fire,” she continued. Her tone was light, but seemed forced. Soap wasn’t sure whether it was her attempt to calm him or to pretend her story didn’t bother her.

He felt the moment that the forceps grasped the bullet. Took a deep breath. Steeled himself. Nothing prepared him for the feeling. He’d been shot before, multiple times. Bullet removal wasn’t a walk in the park, but he hadn’t realized just how much the painkillers mattered.

Soap was not proud of the whimper he let out when Daniela yanked the bullet out in one clean motion. She dropped the forceps onto a medical tray and lightly patted his cheek before inspecting the wound closely, muttering about infection and pointedly not meeting his gaze. She poured antiseptic over the wound and reached for a bottle of pills. 

“Here, take these. Antibiotics,” she said. After watching Soap swallow the pills, she picked a needle and thread up out of the med kit and continued. “Rodolfo threw a wet blanket over me. They put ointment on my burns and fed me. They offered me a home. They taught me to fight. They’ve been my family ever since.” 

Soap felt a pang of kinship at her words. He flinched slightly when the needle pierced his skin, but the pain died to a dull burn as Daniela kept stitching.

“Now that, I do understand,” he said. 

“You have no family?”

“No. Just the 141.”

After a few more strokes, she tied off the thread and laid a hand on his chest.

“They are my brothers. We must get Alejandro back.”

Soap reached up to cover her hand, belatedly hoping she wouldn’t be able to feel his heart pounding when she met his gaze. “We will, hermana.”

The smile she gave him was small, but her eyes were warm. It lasted for a brief moment before she arched an eyebrow. 

“Hermana?” She leaned forward until her mouth brushed Soap’s ear and he was sure that she could feel his heartbeat stutter. “I certainly hope not.”

With that, she picked up her medical kit and sauntered away, leaving Soap to stare after her in shock.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Getting into the prison compound was easy enough. 

“Trash bin on your right, time to take out the trash.”

“Shut up, Soap, fucking hell.”

A giggle from Daniela.

“Shoot him.”

“No, got something else in mind.”

“Fucking beautiful, sir!”

Impressed mumbling from Rodolfo.

“Cut and paste him, Ghost.”

Soap and Ghost’s banter amused Daniela to no end, even though Soap was sure he’d never been so anxious in his life. Having Ghost’s life almost solely in his hands was a responsibility he never wanted to feel again. But working with Rodolfo again helped to ease his mind.

Nearly being killed by Alejandro was less than ideal, but made worth it to watch him reunite with Rodolfo and Daniela.

“Alejandro! Al- it’s me, hermano!”

“Coronel, relájese somos nosotros!”

“Soap, Rudy, Ghost! Daniela!”

“Didn’t think we’d leave you, did ya?”

“What took you so long, pendejos?”

Getting out wasn’t quite as easy. 

“Exfil vehicles are set. Ghost planted charges to help us get out.”

“With Johnny’s help.”

“Eh, I can’t call Soap ‘Johnny’.”

“Don’t. Only Ghost can pull that off.”

“Aww, really? Only your Ghost? What about me?”

“Yes, Johnny, what about Daniela?”

“Can it, LT.”

But between Los Vaqueros and the 141, they made it. Soap couldn’t put into words how much relief he felt upon seeing Gaz and hearing the old man’s voice. After being hoisted to the top, he and Daniela ended up shoulder to shoulder, her covering him while he detonated the Shadows vehicles.

“Have you been with the 141 long?” she shouted over the sounds of gunfire.

“The 141 hasn’t been around all that long,” he shouted back. “But yeah, I’ve been with ‘em since the start.” He raised his rifle, picking off three snipers with three shots.

Daniela raised an impressed eyebrow. “I can see why!”

Soap grinned wide, glancing at her out of the corner of his eye as he raised the detonator. “Would you be impressed if I told you I rigged the explosives for these things, too?”

Daniela returned his grin full force. “I would be.”

Soap’s grin only widened before he pressed the button, eyes locked with Daniela’s. He lowered his voice and said “Ka-freaking-boom, baby.” She’d giggled when he said it earlier, and as the APC exploded, she let out another delighted squeal.

“Handsome and clever? This is a good combination, Johnny,” she said. Soap was grateful that shooting was such second nature to him because in that moment, all coherent thoughts ceased to exist. When he managed to look back to Daniela, she was smiling slyly. She picked off a sniper from across the yard and Soap shook his head. Witty, intelligent, beautiful, and a good shot. 

When the door to their right crashed open, Soap threw himself in front of Daniela to cover her as they each shot one of the men inside. Ghost barked at Soap about weapons, and he came back to the wall with a grenade launcher. He released several grenades before the last of Alejandro’s men mounted the wall top, and then made sure that Daniela went down the other side before him.

When he stumbled getting to their transport out, he chalked it up to battle fatigue, which he told both Ghost and Daniela when they asked whether he was okay. Neither looked convinced, but neither questioned him. They did sit on either side of him for the ride back to the safehouse, though.

Daniela leaned close to him. “How do you feel?” she asked.

“Never better,” he lied. His whole body throbbed in varying levels of discomfort and pain. At least his head had stopped throbbing. Daniela leveled her gaze at him, and he returned a wide grin. She rolled her eyes and dropped it. Instead, she said “Thank you for covering me. You didn’t have to do that.”

Soap’s grin softened. “I know,” he said.

Back at the safe house, lively music played softly in the garage as Los Vaqueros cleaned weapons, loaded vehicles, and fed themselves. Soap felt slightly out of place, like he and the rest of the 141 were walking into someone’s home. Everyone either had something to say or shook hands with Daniela and Rodolfo as they passed, and they both smiled warmly at their friends.

Soap and Ghost made their way to an unoccupied pair of cots in the corner, observing their newfound comrades. Price had disappeared with Alejandro to formulate a plan, ordering the two to sleep. But exhausted as he was, Soap wasn’t sure he’d be able to.

He couldn’t get comfortable. No matter which way he turned, something ached or stung. He tried relaxing his muscles. He tried breathing deeply. He tried counting sheep. 

Every time he closed his eyes, he could see the fire and the blood from the streets of Las Almas. He could hear the screaming and the pleading and the gunfire. He tried covering his eyes, and his ears. Eventually, he rolled to his side, facing Ghost. He was startled to meet the Lieutenant’s eyes. 

“Simon?” Soap asked softly. 

“Johnny,” said Ghost, equally as softly. 

Soap chewed his lip. “Do you ever forget?”

Ghost held his stare, unflinching. “No. You don’t.” Soap hadn’t realized before, but Ghost’s eyes were bloodshot. He looked tired. He’d learned quickly that he slept infrequently, and for short periods of time. It made a lot more sense, now. Ghost rolled over, huffing out a soft breath. “But eventually, you’ll learn to sleep anyway.”

Soap stared at his back, wondering if he would. Wondering if Ghost ever had. He didn’t know how long he stared at his teammate, but it felt like hours later that someone sat gently on the end of his cot. He flew up, grabbing for the bowie knife he kept in his tactical vest. 

Daniela raised her hands, offering a tired smile. “Mind if I take a look at that arm?”

“Sure.” Soap swung his legs off of the cot, resting his hands on the edge. Daniela turned toward him, reaching out and carefully pulling off the dressing she’d applied that early morning. 

“How does it feel? Any sharp pains or itching? Any dizziness, fever?” As soon as she said fever, Soap realized he’d been sweating more than usual. He’d absolutely been feeling dizzy since that harrowing night on the run, but it seemed to have died down throughout the day. And now that he actually paid attention long enough, it was quite itchy.

“No,” he lied. Once again, those ocean eyes seemed to pierce his very soul, challenging him. She knew. But she didn’t say anything, simply reached into the med kit for the same bottle of antibiotics and handed him two. Soap took them gratefully. The team couldn’t afford to be without him, and Ghost would surely order him to stay back if he thought the Sergeant was at all compromised.

Again, she washed the wound with antiseptic, then applied a fresh coat of salve before covering it with a fresh bandage.

“Why are you awake, anyway?” she asked suddenly. Soap’s head snapped up, eyes flying to hers. She looked nearly as exhausted as Ghost, all bloodshot eyes and frazzled hair and sagging shoulders. Still gorgeous.

Soap shrugged uncomfortably. “Couldn’t sleep. What about you?”

She shrugged back, offering a small smile. “Couldn’t sleep either. It makes sense, though. You’ve been through a lot the last few days.” The last few days? When Soap cocked an eyebrow at her, she fidgeted a bit. “I, uh… I was there in the cartel house. When Valeria interrogated you.”

Several things clicked into place for Soap very suddenly. Alejandro had taken him to the elevator once he got into the cartel house, and another guard had escorted him out and down to the basement. Small, with ocean-blue eyes. Then at the oil rig, Alejandro had sent one man with Soap and Graves to the ship. Dani.

“You’re strong for your size,” said Soap in awe. Daniela had shoved him repeatedly through the hallway, even tapping the side of his face with the butt of her gun when he had begun to look over his shoulder.

She smiled wryly. “Sorry about that. We had to make it real, and we couldn’t risk any more comms than we had.”

“No, no, it’s okay. You did good,” said Soap. “Why can’t you sleep?”

Daniela shifted again. “I don’t do so well the night before big missions. I usually bunk next to Alelandro or Rodolfo, but they’re both… occupied. So, I came over here instead. To you.”

Soap’s heart melted. He was so drawn to this woman, and to know that she felt even a fraction of that bond made his heart swell with gratitude. “You can bunk with us,” he said quickly. Then, glancing around, he realized that there didn’t seem to be any available cots. “Take my cot. I can sleep in a chair.”

Daniela’s face had washed with relief when he spoke, but some tension returned as she looked down at her hands. “Don’t be silly,” she mumbled. “I’m not putting you out of your cot after the week you’ve had.”

“Well then, you’ll just have to share it with me,” teased Soap. He held his breath when Daniela’s head snapped up. He wasn’t sure what had possessed him to say anything so bold, but he’d taken it and run with it. “There’s plenty of space for both of us.”

“If I sleep on top of you, maybe,” snorted Daniela. Soap wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, and Daniela giggled.

Soap softened his voice, speaking more seriously. “I really don’t mind sharing.”

She contemplated for a moment, sighed, and then rolled her eyes. “Fine. Just don’t complain if I crush you.”

Now it was Soap’s turn to snort. He lay down carefully, his back to Ghost’s cot, and raised his right arm. Daniela lay down beside him, turning onto her side and tucking herself under his chin. A perfect fit. Soap gently let his arm come down over her waist, laying his hand on the cot rail.

“This okay?” he whispered. She nodded. Soap nodded, too. His heart was pounding. He hadn’t been close to someone like this in… well, a long time.

The 141 was his whole life. There was always work to be done, and without a family to go home to, there was no real reason to take leave. On the rare occasion he did, he just ended up in his home town in Scotland. He’d flirt, constantly, but he seldom brought anyone home. He longed for something deeper, and sex alone could never fill that void. Plus, no one wanted to commit to someone who could be gone for months at a time.

But this? To be close to someone? This was filling the void just fine. Soap had to fight the urge to pull her further back against him as her breathing evened out, her body naturally leaning more on his own. As he dozed, he was proud of himself for staying still. He drifted in and out of sleep, dreaming empty dreams and feeling her shift against him.

As he finally woke up the next morning, he felt his hip aching fiercely. He started to shift to take some pressure off of it, and froze. Slowly opening his eyes, he saw Daniela’s wild hair. He groggily remembered that they’d shared a cot the night before. All of his pride at his self-control dissolved instantly when he realized that his arm was around her waist, holding her tightly to his chest. She must have turned over in her sleep, because her leg was thrown over his hip, pulling their bodies flush together. 

He could already feel a problem, and this was not the time or place. He had to get out of this cot without waking her up. He shifted back, then froze as Daniela’s hand ran up to the back of his head to tangle her fingers in his mohawk. Her eyelids fluttered, her fingers pulled lightly at his hair, and her leg tightened around his hips. Soap’s eyes fluttered shut as he swallowed a groan. Fuck. When he opened his eyes again, she was smiling at him sleepily.

“That’s the best sleep I’ve gotten in months,” she whispered. Soap nodded, desperately trying to get his body under control before she woke up any more. To his dismay, she nuzzled closer to him, nose rubbing under his jaw and hips shifting back and forth for a moment. Her eyes snapped open, eyebrows arching. “Feels like you slept pretty well, too, eh big boy?” Hells bells, this woman. Soap barely suppressed a full body shudder as she beamed at him.

“I didn’t, I’m not, I-” he stuttered. But Daniela placed her fingers over his lips, silencing him. Her eyes were full of mirth.

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone,” she teased. Then she languidly stretched, pressing against him as much as humanly possible before climbing out of the cot and sashaying away, tossing a wicked grin over her shoulder at him. Soap turned to Ghost’s cot, which was blessedly empty, and then pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes, still fighting for his body to cooperate. Hells fucking bells.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

When Alejandro called his men, all sound stopped. The place became a real base in that moment. Los Vaqueros and the 141 gathered around a makeshift operations table, listening intently as Price spoke.

“This is a fight against our own. We are not 141 and Los Vaqueros on this. We’re a team. Ghost team.”

Soap’s eyebrows shot up when the Captain dumped out a bucket of masks, then his eyes snapped up to Ghost. Ghost was staring at him, and Soap was almost certain he was steeling himself. Their silent conversation lasted only a moment before Ghost reached up, pulling off his mask, pausing before reaching for one from the table. Price reached a hand up to his shoulder.

“Good to see you again, Simon,” he said.

Soap carefully schooled his features in an attempt to soothe Ghost’s nerves, but he felt a distinct surge of pride in being one of the few to be allowed to know the Lieutenant. As the older man adjusted the mask over his face, the two shared another weighted look. Soap quirked up one corner of his mouth, shaking his head. Quite the opposite, indeed.

Alejandro laid out the plan to get into the Los Vaqueros facility. “We’ll infiltrate the base with two Ghost teams. Team one is Captain Price, Gaz, me, and one pilot. Team two is Ghost, Soap, Rudy, Dani, and Los Vaqueros.”

Ghost and Soap looked to each other and nodded. Then Soap turned to Daniela, raising an eyebrow. He mouthed “Dani?” 

She smirked, mouthing back “Johnny?”

Soap grinned. He looked to Ghost, who was shaking his head. But his eyes were crinkled with mirth.

“While Gaz and me locate and secure Valeria, Ghost team 2 will find Graves… and kill him.”

 ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Ghost team 2 fought their way through the base to the HQ building, then fought their way through that. Soap and Ghost moved together like they’d fought together for years, and Daniela and Rodolfo effortlessly slotted themselves into their dynamic. Between the three of them, no Shadows made it more than a few steps into the open.

Watching Price’s helo go down had Soap’s stomach sinking. “Steamin’ hell!” Soap shouted. He and Ghost shared a heavy look while Daniela and Rodolfo cursed softly. Rodolfo quickly recovered, clambering up the wall with Soap’s help. Daniela followed after, lightly stepping into Soap’s linked hands before joining Rodolfo in straddling the wall. The two of them pulled Soap up quickly, who turned to Ghost.

“Ghost, you comin’?” he asked.

“No. Price and the pilot need help. You three finish this.”

Soap’s head whipped back and forth between Ghost and the other side of the wall until he saw something that made his stomach drop even more. “Look!” he shouted.

“That’s not ours!” shouted Rodolfo.

“Holy shite. Graves brought a fuckin’ tank!” growled Soap, dropping to the ground. He glanced at Rodolfo and Daniela. “You ready for this?”

“Hell yeah!” answered Rodolfo. Daniela nodded curtly. Soap motioned for the three to split up.

“Looks like the hunters are getting hunted now, huh?” came Graves’ sneering voice. “Ain’t that a kick in the ass?”

“Can’t wait to bake this bastard,” grumbled Soap. He, Daniela, and Rodolfo had run into different buildings. Rodolfo tried to call out C4 stashes, Daniela threw grenades as she could, and Soap gestured for both of them to stay down and inside. Then he ran for his life.

“You and your mexicano friends fucked with the wrong hombre, MacTavish!” yelled Graves.

“Come on out and let’s talk about it,” quipped Soap. Daniela snorted, and despite the severity of the situation, Soap found himself smiling.

Graves seemed altogether less pleased. “You think this is a fucking game out here? You wanna play war? Let’s play some fucking war, chicos! One of you dipshits needs to die last. Who’s it gonna be?”

“Go fuck yourself, Graves.” Soap threw a brick of C4 straight into the tank’s path, silently congratulating himself when it blew.

“You got a healthy disrespect for authority, Soap. I like that about you!”

“You’re Shepherd’s lap dog. You get paid to break the rules.”

“There’s only two rules here, boys. Walk away… or win. Guess which one I choose?” Soap vaulted through a window. It wasn’t high, but the landing still made his hip throb in protest. He grunted softly. “Shoulda gone home when you had the chance, Soap- you and that asshole with the mask, hiding behind that uniform.”

Soap’s temper instantly flared. “You wore that uniform,” he ground out. He was crouched by another C4 stash, trying to judge Graves’ location.

“That uniform was a limitation!” shouted Graves. “I shed that skin!”

“Like a fuckin’ snake,” Soap hissed.

“Like a fuckin’ soldier, son.”

“You had to make your own little army ‘cause you couldn’t hack it in the real one.” This time, Soap managed to stick the side of the tank with C4 as it passed. He ran, detonated, and silently cheered again when he heard the second explosion.

Soap managed to tune out most of the rest of what Graves said, until he turned his attention to Rodolfo. His Spanish wasn’t great, but he picked up the general idea that Graves was saying the 141 were no friends to Los Vaqueros.

“Oye, pendejo!” Daniela’s voice suddenly cut through the radio. Most of what she said was lost to Soap, but she sounded furious. He picked out the words “friends”, “assholes like you”, “good people”, and “brothers”, and “death”. Hermanos hasta la muerte.

Graves must have understood more than Soap, because his driving became erratic and he shouted back to Daniela in what Soap did recognize as poorly pronounced Spanish. 

Her distraction gave him enough time to sneak up behind the tank and lay one last brick of C4 between the tank’s body and tread. But just as he started to back off, the gun began to swing in his direction. Soap braced himself to run, and then froze. 

“Graves!” Daniela shouted. She had leapt up to stand in the window of the building directly ahead of Soap. As the tank's gun swung back in her direction, Soap scrambled to his feet, racing forward. 

“Pinche tu madre,” she sneered. 

Soap could hear the tank’s gun spinning up.

“No!” He shouted. Daniela’s head snapped in his direction. Her face fell when they locked stares, eyes flashing with anxiety. She took half a step toward him, but Soap launched himself through the window. In one smooth motion, he wrapped his arm around Daniela’s waist, yanked her against himself, and pulled them to the ground. He landed hard on his shoulder as he heard the tank fire and rolled her under him as fast as he could, tucking his head against hers and shielding them both with his arms. The building crumbled under the impact, sheetrock and dust raining down on them. Several chunks of sheetrock landed across Soap’s back. That’ll be a few new bruises.

As it began to settle, Soap raised his head just enough to look down at Daniela. They were nose to nose when she opened her eyes, hands coming up to run over his covered head. 

“Y’alright?” Soap whispered. She nodded frantically. 

“You?” He nodded. As he shifted his shoulders, bits of rubble fell off and cracked against the ground. He winced. 

He looked up and around. Graves’ tank was rotating, looking for them. He glanced to the stairs, then looked back down at Daniela. 

“Hold onto me,” he whispered. Daniela cocked an eyebrow, but wrapped her arms around his neck. Soap grabbed one of her legs behind the knee, wrapping it around his waist, and she smirked before wrapping her other leg around his back as well. As serious as the situation was, their position wasn’t lost on Soap. Twice in one day? He swallowed hard. C’mon, MacTavish.

As quickly as he dared, he crawled for the stairwell. He could see Graves’ tank through the doorway on the opposite wall, facing away. In the last meter, he leapt to his feet and ran up several steps, stopping midway to lean against the wall. Daniela slid down his body, resting her hands on his chest. Soap shivered. They were both panting slightly. Her eyes shone as she looked up at him. 

“Gracías, guapo,” she said softly. Then her hand snapped up to her earpiece. She started down for a moment, then looked back up at Soap. “Rodolfo moved to Los Vaqueros private channel. He says there should be an RPG downstairs,” she said. 

Soap nodded, clicking through channels until he could hear Rudy’s voice. “I’ll get it,” he said.

Daniela grabbed his arm as he moved, stopping him in his tracks. “Be careful,” she said. He nodded, clasping her arm. 

“I will.”

He crept down the stairs, peeking around the wall to where he’d last seen Graves’ tank. It wasn’t there. Staying low, he rounded the corner, eyes searching frantically for the RPG.

“Check under the counter, hermano,” whispered Rodolfo. When Soap glanced up, he could barely see the other man peeking around a doorframe across the yard. He crept to the bar counter, slid open the door as quietly as possible, and grabbed the RPG inside.

“Siiick,” said Soap, raising the RPG to his shoulder. With his back to the wall, he slowly made his way to an opening, searching for Graves. Not seeing him, he stayed. And breathed. And waited.

He could hear the thing driving around outside, searching for him or the others. He just hoped they were well hidden.

His radio crackled. “He’s heading your way, Soap,” said Daniela quietly.

“Rog’,” he replied. “Stay down.”

Carefully, he crouched and turned, ready to fire as soon as the tank came into view. He didn’t have to wait long. With a deep breath, he stood, pulled the trigger, and dove behind the cabinet again. The explosion from the tank seemed to rock the very ground. He realized that he’d never detonated the last brick of C4. Double trouble, then.

Slowly, Soap stood and leaned around the corner. Graves’ tank was a ball of fire, smoke and flames billowing into the sky. He heard Daniela step down the stairs, then felt her small hand on his shoulder blade. Rudy peeked around the corner of a doorway, looking around before stepping outside. Soap and Daniela did the same, cautiously walking forward.

“You did it, Soap,” said Rodolfo softly.

“You two and me, hermano,” said Soap.

“Brought a gun to a tank fight.”

Soap chuckled, smiling under his mask. “Yeah we did!” He reached for his radio, clicking back to the main channel. “Soap to Ghost- I’m with Rudy. Graves is KIA. How’s Price?”“Angry. Lost a good cigar in the crash. Pilot’s okay, too. Out.”

Rodolfo relayed the message to Alejandro. They all took a moment to breathe. And then they moved out to meet Ghost Team 1.

 ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Soap’s head was spinning. They had all known Valeria was a wildcard, but he didn’t think any of them had expected her to drop the bomb of information that a missile was in Chicago. Not even Alejandro. Price handed her off to Los Vaqueros almost immediately, the threat in his voice clear. Soap wasn’t surprised, and he didn’t expect to ever see her alive again.

He was surprised when he had to lift Daniela up and out of the container after she lunged for Valeria. He dragged her out kicking and screaming in Spanish, all curses and threats. Rudy followed them out first, trying to calm her down, but there was nothing for it. The other woman was single-handedly responsible for the deaths of all of her family and friends. Soap couldn’t fault her rage.

Gaz came out next, raising his eyebrows at Soap in a silent question. Soap nodded, affirming that he was alright. Daniela had stopped thrashing, but her chest still rose and fell quickly against his arms. He’d had to lean back against the wall, lifting her feet off the ground to keep her from beelining to the container. Now she stood, back against his chest, hands gripping his tactical harness where it crossed his thighs.

“I won’t pretend to know what you’re feeling,” Gaz began softly. He paced slowly back and forth in front of them. “But I do know that she’s not worth throwing your life away.”

“She stole my life!” hissed Daniela. “She took my family. She took everything from me! And now she’s doing it all again! More people will lose their lives, lose their families, if she isn’t stopped!”

“But she gave you a purpose,” said Gaz firmly. He’d stopped pacing, staring directly at Daniela now. “You’ll never let that happen to anyone ever again. We are going to stop her. And I know it’s not the same thing, but she gave you a family, too. Hell, she gave you two families. You, Alejandro, Rodolfo? Los Vaqueros? You’ll always have a family with the 141, now.”

Soap squeezed her just a bit tighter at that, his own silent affirmation. After a moment, Daniela’s hands released his harness and lay flat against his legs. She seemed to sag back against him. Her voice shook slightly when she spoke.

“Gracias, hermano.”

Gaz simply nodded before returning to the container. For several minutes, Soap and Daniela said nothing. Then, very softly, she said “You can let me go.”

“Aye? You won’t kick me in the shins and run off to kill her anyway?”

Daniela snorted at that. “No.” With one final squeeze, Soap let her go. As he did, Alejandro came storming out of the container, followed closely by Rodolfo. He moved straight for Daniela, gripping her shoulders.

“We’re going to be hunted men, Dani,” he said. “I’m not letting her get away with this. Rodolfo and I will handle her, and we’ll handle the cartel. But you…” He looked up at Soap, then back at Daniela. He pointed to Soap with one finger. “You need to go with them. I don’t want you to be a part of this.”

“Alejandro, no, soy-”

“No,” he growled. He tilted his head back to look at the ceiling, and Soap realized when he looked at Daniela again that he was tearing up. He lowered his head to her level, staring at her intently. “What did I tell you the night we found you?”

Rodolfo had turned his head away, shoulders stiff. Soap couldn’t see her face, but he could hear in her voice that Daniela was tearing up, too. “You told me you would always protect me,” she whimpered.

Alejandro shook her gently. “This is me protecting you, hermana.” He pointed to Soap. “That man will protect you with his life. You told me so yourself. Rodolfo told me.” He glanced back to Soap, who nodded, stunned. “And I can see it when I look at him, and the way he looks at you. You have to go with them. You have to get that missile, and you have to stay out of Mexico until this dies down. And then you know we’ll welcome you back with open arms.”

Rodolfo turned, reaching out a hand to hold Daniela’s. “This has always been our fight, mijá,” he whispered. “It doesn’t have to be yours. And I know you chose it, but this time… just let us do this for you. Sabes que te amamos.”

Price and Gaz had come out of the container again, Price holding Valeria. They both nodded to Soap, who nodded to Daniela when she looked over to him. Her gaze dropped, and then she looked back to her men.

“Yo sé que tú,” she whispered.

Alejandro moved to Soap while Rodolfo hugged Daniela.

“Go. You have work to do,” he said. Then he pulled Soap closer, and softly said “Take care of her.”“You know I will,” whispered Soap. He backed toward their plane. “Keep fighting the good fight, hermano!” he called.“To the bitter end, my brother!” said Alejandro.

“Good luck, amigos,” said Rodolfo.

Price shoved Valeria into the backseat of Alejandro and Rodolfo’s vehicle while Soap, Ghost, and Daniela moved to board the aircraft Gaz had already started up.

“Ghost!” called Alejandro. Ghost turned back, cocking his head slightly. “No te pierdas, hermano!”

Whatever Ghost said back, Soap didn’t understand. But Daniela smiled, blowing a kiss with two fingers that Alejandro caught out of midair and held to his heart. Then they turned, boarded the plane, and were away.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Soap had long since abandoned his fear of heights. Walking down a 60-story building didn’t make him nervous, but the hostage situation did. Ghost’s calm helped him keep his cool, though, and soon enough, Daniela was getting hostages out of the building while Soap and Price moved on Hassan. They cleared entire floors of the building in record times.

“And that’s why they call him Soap,” mumbled Ghost. Daniela’s answering giggle warmed Soap’s heart. Upon hearing this, Ghost added “Did you know he’s the youngest one of us? Got in with the SAS at sixteen.”

“Sixteen? Soap, you get more and more impressive the more I learn about you!”

Soap’s face flamed.

Despite the hostages, the mission was going smoothly. Too smoothly. Then, Laswell announced that Hassan had the controls. Ghost confirmed visual on floor 46, and back out they went.

“Soap, we find those controls, it’s up to you to disarm that missile.”

“Copy that… done it once before.”

The RPG could have ruined the whole plan, but Soap and Price were both lucky that it missed them. They moved into the building as quickly as possible, clearing yet another room in record time with Ghost’s sniper support.

When Gaz called that they had the target cornered, Soap and Price raced in his direction. Then came Laswell saying that the missile was launching. Everyone was speaking at once.

“No, no, no!” screamed Price. 

“Fecking hell,” growled Soap.

“Watcher, where’s the target?” yelled Price.

“Unknown, we’re working on it.”

“Copy. We’re going for Hassan. This way Sergeant!” he yelled to Soap. Then, “Gaz, where’s Hassan?”

Price and Soap were rounding the corner when Gaz answered. “End of the hall! Hassan’s holed up behind those doors.”

Price’s response was furious. “Let’s clear this out and bag him, then.”

When they got the snake cam under the door, the whole thing went to shit. 

The door blew. Soap and Price flew back and Gaz collapsed like a bag of rocks. Soap’s ears were ringing, he was bleeding, and he could hardly breathe. Only Gaz’s quick recovery saved his life. He was dragged into cover before Price took a bullet and Gaz went back for him, too.

Everything after was a blur. One moment, Soap was leaping down a falling elevator shaft. The next, he was running from the man he stole the laptop from. Then hiding. Then detonating the missile with Laswell’s help. Then, running for his life, again. 

“Nicely done, Johnny. Now for the hard part,” said Ghost.

“That was the fuckin’ hard part, LT.”

“Let’s find out. You need to stay alive, take out the guards, and kill Hassan.”

Soap looked around frantically. “I just need a weapon,” he said.

“Make one,” Ghost replied. He sounded so nonchalant. It made Soap huff out a laugh.

“Aye. Like old times, huh LT?”

Ghost’s voice was fond when he said “Seems like yesterday.”

Soap replied with equal fondness. “It was yesterday.”

He hid. He ran. With Ghost’s help, he fashioned some makeshift weapons. Then he ran headlong into Hassan. Before he could react, his world went dark.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

When Soap came to, he was being dragged by his foot. At first, he wasn’t sure where he was. Then he recognized the office he’d been chasing Hassan through.

Hassan. It was Hassan dragging him along.

Sluggishly, his mind went through his team. Ghost. Overwatch. Price. Holed up trying to recover. Gaz. Unknown. Daniela.

Daniela.

Alejandro had sent her with him and he didn’t even know where she was, whether she was safe. His heart twinged painfully. He didn’t have time to think, though. Hassan was yelling about fire and thinking they could stop him. Soap couldn’t focus on it.

Ghost.

“Ghost,” he whispered into his throat mic.

“Soap!”

“Watch… the window,” he managed.

Something exploded.

Hassan dragged him to his feet. Still going on about invading, not attacking.

He thrust Soap in front of him, pushing him toward the window. Soap desperately tried to keep his footing.

“Soap,” said Ghost. Soap vaguely recognized panic in his voice. “Soap, I see him, but I can’t-”

“Take the shot, LT,” mumbled Soap.

“What was that? What are you saying?” Hassan had him by his vest now, shaking him violently. 

“Soap, I can’t get a clear-”

“Take. The shot.” Soap’s jaw was clenched. It took all of his power to hold onto Hassan’s wrists enough not to fall back. Hassan was still pushing forward, shouting, and Soap was fighting a losing battle. Hassan was going to push him out of the window.

And he couldn’t stop it.

“I’m sorry,” said Ghost.

Then, just as Soap’s heels touched the ledge, searing pain shot through his chest. He lurched forward with the impact, falling into Hassan.

Hassan’s eyes were wide. Soap thought he saw blood trickling from the corner of his mouth. His rattled brain couldn’t make sense of it as they both fell to the ground.

“Johnny, MOVE!” roared Ghost. With the last of his energy, Soap shoved as hard as he could, rolling off of Hassan’s body. Another piercing shot rang out and Hassan’s head cracked backward against the ground. 

Soap blinked at Hassan’s body. Ghost was shouting for him through his earpiece. Suddenly, the pieces clicked into place.

“You shot me,” he said dumbly to Ghost.

“Oh thank God,” muttered Ghost. He could hear Daniela shrieking in the background, too.

“You saved me,” he said. The whole room seemed colorful and soft. Spinning. Like a carousel.

Soap smiled, head lolling down.

He could vaguely hear Ghost and Daniela and Gaz yelling, but he was too tired to listen. Just a wee nap. That’s all I need.

Footsteps pounded nearby. With great effort, Soap turned his head. It didn’t hold where he wanted it to, just flopped onto the ground on the other side. He watched a small black pair of boots race across the floor toward him.

“No no no no, hijo de puta. Por favor, Dios, no.” Suddenly, Soap’s head and shoulders were being lifted. Then he was dragged back against something soft. He looked up. Daniela was running her hands over his head, his chest, clawing at his tactical vest. “Por favor, Dios, no,” she repeated. Her voice shook as badly as her hands and tears streamed down her face.

“Hey,” Soap said. He grinned up at her. “Whassa matter? Why’re you crying?”

He reached a hand up to her, wiping her cheek with his thumb. He couldn’t keep it raised and it flopped back to his side.

“John Soap MacTavish, you’d better not die on me,” she muttered. She had gotten his vest loose and was pulling his shirt up roughly. 

“Hey, bonnie, at least buy me dinner first,” he slurred. He chuckled. It was silly. It was all so silly. He could hear Ghost yelling faintly, but he wasn’t sure why. Daniela was leaning heavily on his chest, and he wasn’t sure about that either.

Suddenly, he felt as though he’d been sat out in snow for a good few hours. “Hey, are you cold?” he asked Daniela.

“Hey,” Daniela said sharply. She gripped his chin between her fingers. “Look at me.”

Clarity hit Soap like a ton of bricks. He’d been shot. He was bleeding. Cold from shock. That’s why Daniela was crying and Ghost was yelling. He’d been knocked out. Likely had a concussion. He looked up at her solemnly, grabbing her wrist with his hand. Don’t die on me, she’d said. He was dying.

They’d talked quite a bit over their few days together. Talked about their hopes and dreams, and how those fit into their dangerous lives. Talked about their dedication to their teams, their values, their futures. Talked about growing up, their families, how they’d gotten there. 

She’d asked him if he’d ever been in love.

He’d said he hadn’t. But he wasn’t so sure that was true, any more.

When he’d asked her, she’d said “maybe” with a sly smile his direction, all twinkling eyes and rosy cheeks.

He blinked, hard. He wanted to know what that meant.

“What did you mean… when you said maybe?” he panted out.

For a moment, Daniela just blinked at him. Then her eyes softened, tears slipping down her cheeks as she understood his question. “I meant I might be,” she whispered. “I’m not quite sure yet. You’ll have to give me some time to figure it out.”

Soap hummed, eyes drifting shut. “I’m pretty sure,” he breathed. Daniela gasped, but he reached up to touch her cheek before she could say anything. “You,” he began, voice a whisper. “You are the most… the most beautiful, intelligent, amazing woman that… that I’ve ever-”

Daniela didn’t let him finish. Her lips were on his before he knew it. He was kissing her before even registering that she’d leaned down. Her lips were soft, just like he’d imagined. She tasted like strawberries and mint and salt. Tears. She kissed him desperately, and he kissed her desperately back. His hand slid back to tangle in her curls. So unbelievably soft.  He could hardly move his head, but she tilted her own to deepen the kiss. She ran her tongue along the seam of his lips and he moaned, low in his chest. He weakly tried to pull her closer. No point hiding it now. Besides, if he was going to die, what better way to go? More footsteps pounded in the door. He could vaguely make out Gaz and Price’s voices.

And then, above them all, nearly a full octave up in his panic, Ghost. “Johnny!”

Daniela’s teeth lightly grazed his lip. Soap sighed, then everything went black.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Soap woke to a gentle beeping. His head and mouth felt like they were stuffed with cotton. His body felt like one big bruise, but with shards of glass sprinkled throughout it. He couldn’t open his eyes. There was light pressure against his right hip.

He breathed deeply. Ouch.

Slowly, his eyes cracked open. The room was dark, but moonlight streamed in through a window out of the corner of his eye. He could see that the ceiling was bright white.

“Johnny?”

Slowly, he turned his head toward the familiar voice. As he did, Ghost rose to his feet from his chair, taking two quick steps to the bedside.

Soap opened his mouth, but nothing came out. Ghost scrambled to pour a cup of water, then gently helped Soap lift his head to drink. As he did, Soap realized what the pressure on his hip was. Daniela.

Her head lay at the junction of his torso and legs, black curls shining in the moonlight. The bags under her eyes were nearly as dark as Ghost’s grease paint. Her right hand gripped his thigh, and her left hand held his. She didn’t stir.

Soap swallowed several times. “What happened?” he finally asked.

Ghost’s gaze dropped to the floor. “Do you want the short or long story?” he asked. His voice sounded exhausted.

“How about the short one, for now?”

“I shot you,” said Ghost. For a moment, Soap thought he wouldn’t elaborate. Then, Ghost looked up to meet his eyes. “I shot you, Johnny. Because you told me to. Because you’re the best of us, and you’re clever.”

Soap nodded, eyes drifting shut, not processing Ghost’s words.

“You’re lucky I’m such a good shot,” Ghost added, grumbling.

Soap chuckled softly, wincing as he did. “That I am,” he said. “Hassan?”

“I shot him, too. Twice, actually.”

“Through me the first time, eh LT?”

Ghost looked unamused. But when Soap grinned at him, his eyes softened. “That’s right, Johnny.”

“Perfect shot, LT.”“You called it, Sargeant.”

“The best of us, huh LT?”

“Can it, Sergeant.”

For a moment, the two shared a companionable silence. Then, Ghost spoke so softly that Soap thought he may have imagined it. “I almost didn’t take it.”

“The shot? Why not?”

“There was no shot. He had you directly in front of him, and he would have thrown you out that window before I had time to move.”

“You still got him, LT. I’ll call that a win.”“We got him, Johnny.”

“I’m starting to think you really have taken a shine to me, Simon.”

Ghost hung his head before looking back up. “Maybe I have.” He turned, picking up his chair, and sat it right by the bed as quietly as he could. “That one has, for sure.” He nodded to Daniela.

Soap looked down at her. “How long have you both been here?”

“Since you got here,” Ghost mumbled. Soap’s head snapped back to him.

“And when was that?”

Ghost shrugged, leaning back in his chair. “Four days, give or take.” Soap stared at him. Finally, he threw up his hands. “You, Sergeant, should have died.”

He lifted one gloved hand, ticking off fingers as he spoke. “You have a field-treated gunshot wound to your right arm, which was in fact infected. Thank your lucky stars that Daniela saw through your idiocy.” That explained a lot of little things he’d missed. Like a passenger in a getaway vehicle. “A bruised bone in your hip. Three cracked ribs. A grade four concussion. Multiple hairline fractures in your legs. And a shredded left pec from a 50 caliber bullet. Might I add that last one only missed your heart by centimeters?”

Soap snorted. “Well, that explains a lot about how I feel. Hell, how I’ve been feeling.”

Ghost just shook his head. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “Thought we lost ya. Again.”

“You’re not getting rid of me that easy, LT.”

“Good,” grumbled Ghost. He looked toward Daniela. “I had to pry her off of you,” he said softly. 

Soap looked down at her again. She looked younger than before, peaceful in her slumber. But he could see the exhaustion plainly on her face. “Yeah?” he asked. 

“Mhmm,” murmured Ghost. “Could hardly get her across the hall to shower.”

Soap let his eyes drift shut, exhaustion washing over him all over again. “Where are we, anyway?”

“Amsterdam. Laswell has friends here. We’re in a private hospital.”

“Price? And Gaz?”

“They’re trying to find a lead on Shepherd.”

Soap nodded sleepily, relieved that their squad was still intact. “She kissed me,” he murmured. 

“Doctors say she saved your life with that.”

Soap hummed, cracking one eye open to peer at Ghost. He shrugged. 

“Something about the adrenaline helping to push off the shock.”

Soap hummed again, letting his eyes slide shut.

“Sleep, Johnny.”

He did. 

When he woke again, sunlight was streaming through the window. He shifted slightly, and felt Daniela spring up when he did. 

When he opened his eyes, she was staring at him anxiously. 

“Good morning, beautiful,” Soap murmured. 

Tears sprang instantly to her eyes. She squeezed his thigh, standing and reaching her hand up to cup his face.

“Oh, Johnny,” she whispered.

“Hey, hey, don’t cry,” he said. He reached up a hand to hold hers against his cheek. “I’m right here.”

She shifted a leg up onto the bed, leaning forward to rest her forehead against his.

“I thought I’d lost you.”

“I’m right here,” he whispered again. “Ghost said you saved my life.”

She made a strangled sound, half laugh and half sob. “I couldn’t let you go like that.”

Soap shifted his hand to her face, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. “Well,” he said. “If you remember, I was a bit out of my mind.” He tilted her chin up gently, whispering “Care to give me another taste of those lifesaving powers of yours?”

Daniela lunged forward, sealing her lips to his. Soap eyes slid shut as he grinned, pulling her closer. Her mouth opened against his, and he ran his tongue against hers. When she whimpered into his mouth, the primal need to have her close overcame him. He leaned up as far as he could, cursing the sling on his left shoulder, chasing her mouth. His hand moved to the back of her neck, holding her against him. She straddled him carefully, elbows coming to rest above his shoulders. 

Her whole body shuddered when his hand came to rest on her hip.

His eyes snapped open. “I’m sorry-”

“No,” she cut him off, panting. She reached one hand up, threading her fingers through his mohawk. “There’s no reason.” Soap groaned when her nails lightly scratched his scalp.

“Woman, the things I would do to you if I wasn’t stuck in this bed…”

She shuddered again before she leaned down and kissed the place that his jaw and neck met. His whole body involuntarily arched off the bed, hand moving from her hip to the small of her back to pull her against him. She gasped at the contact. However light she was, her weight on his hip hurt. But he was too far gone to care. He leaned up again, gently sucking her lip between his as she sighed into his mouth.

His mind was clouded with the desire for intimacy with her. He wanted all of her. First in their single shared night, and now in their kiss, Soap saw waking up to her every morning, cooking together, trips to the stormy Scottish coast and the sunny Caribbean. He’d been drawn to her from the moment he saw her, and he knew from the way she looked at him that she’d been drawn to him just as much. He’d tried so hard to remain professional. To keep distance. To be a gentleman. To pretend he hadn’t fallen in love with her the moment he heard her speak.

Then she’d slept in his cot and he’d had to know what it was like to have her in his arms. Having tasted her once, there was no going back to professional and distant. Having tasted her twice? She owned him. There was no pretending, now.

His train of thought was interrupted by a sharp cough from the doorway. Daniela sprang up, scrambling off the bed with one hand covering her mouth. Soap’s head whipped toward the door. Ghost was there, finding something very interesting to look at in the ceiling, along with a pretty nurse who was smiling widely.

“Glad to see you’re feeling better, Sergeant,” she quipped. Soap grinned wryly first at her, then at Daniela. “My name’s Cat, I’m a friend of Kate’s. Mind if I take a look at you?”

Soap nodded, Daniela sat herself in the corner, and Ghost continued to pay close attention to the ceiling and walls. Soap narrowed his eyes, watching the Lieutenant closely. 

Cat turned to Daniela and Ghost. “Would you two-”

“They can stay,” Soap cut her off. Cat turned to look at him, eyebrows raised. He smiled. “Nothing they haven’t seen already.” When she helped him sit up and lift his gown off, Soap got his first real look at the damage. At Los Vaqueros safe house, and then later at their base, he’d been too rushed and too tired to really look at himself.

Purple bruises so dark they nearly looked black covered his ribs. Just above his boxers, he could see more bruising on his hip that was nearly green now. Scrapes and cuts covered his knees, his arms, his sides. The bullet wound in his right arm was healing nicely, but the skin around it was still pink and tender. He was grateful that his chest was wrapped tightly so he couldn’t see the damage from Ghost’s sniper.

Soap looked away.

“So Cat,” he asked. “How did you meet Laswell?”

“Oh, she and I met probably fifteen years ago. She was still on the field, back then. I was still in training, working in a field hospital. I patched her and John up after a rough mission. I guess she decided she liked me, because as soon as I graduated, she snapped me right up.” She turned to Ghost, who had finally looked her way, and smiled. “Good thing, too. I’ve fixed this one up more times than I can count, and Kate tells me he won’t let anyone else touch him.”

Ghost looked away again so quickly that he missed Soap’s gleeful expression. “Oh, is that so?” teased Soap. Ghost shot him a warning glare. Something to ask about later.

“I trust her,” muttered Ghost.

Cat beamed at him. She looked back to Soap, smiling conspiratorially. “Quite the compliment, eh?”

“That it is,” he answered smugly. Ghost held his stare, unamused. Soap looked back toward Daniela, eyes softening. She smiled back at him, looking tired but content. Cat was wrapping up her check, talking about physical therapy and taking it easy. Soap couldn’t wait to have a moment with Daniela again.

“Alright, well I’ll be back tonight to check in with you again. Simon, would you walk me out?” Soap’s eyes shot back to Ghost at that, but Ghost refused to meet his gaze. Definitely something to ask about later.

When Cat and Ghost had gone, Daniela came back to Soap’s side, sitting carefully on the edge of the bed. She gently took his left hand, careful not to lift it or otherwise disturb the bandages.

“Take all the time you need,” Soap said softly. Daniela lifted her eyes from their joined hands, cocking her head. He held her gaze. “You said I’d have to give you some time to figure it out. Take all the time you need.” Now it was Soap’s turn to look down at their hands. He grinned, lopsided. “I’ll be here.”

Daniela reached out, lifting his chin with her fingertips. Her dark eyes watered slightly around the edges. “I’m pretty sure,” she whispered.

“Oh, now that sounds familiar,” chuckled Soap. He leaned toward her, eyes flitting down to her lips. “C’mere, you.”

Their first kiss had been desperate. Their second quickly turned heated. This one was soft, slow, gentle. Exploratory and sweet. Soap stroked her cheek, looking up at her from under hooded eyes. “Tell me you feel it, too,” he whispered.

Daniela nodded, leaning forward to rest her forehead against his. “I feel it.”

“Yeah? Not just ‘maybe’?”

Daniela smiled wide, smacking his shoulder lightly. Soap laughed, loud and full, and immediately regretted it. Wincing, he smiled back at her. 

He was anxious to hear from Price and Gaz, and nervous about what would happen when Alejandro and Rodolfo called Daniela back. They’d have to go after Shepherd, and she might have to go back to Mexico. Maybe nothing would ever truly have a chance to start with them. Maybe they’d die. But maybe not. Maybe everything would be alright.

[aimzicr]

Okay I saw Last Voyage of the Demeter! I have thoughts. As someone who spent three years essaying about Dracula, as a fan and student of literature-to-film adaptations/transformations, and just as a reader and listener of Daily Dracula and Re: Dracula, I have thoughts. Mild spoilers below the cut, but nothing that would ruin the experience completely if you haven't seen/can't see it.

But please be aware: Dracula DOES go about in his Lizard Fashion™.

I wasn't expecting a one-to-one transformation of the Demeter's Log to make it on screen. After all, the story of men being silently hunted until all are dead makes for a great dread-inducing setpiece for Stoker's novel, but not so much for a standalone film. I did enjoy seeing how the story took the 'based on' as far as they could before they started stretching it.

I did have a quiet laugh as the first title-card almost seemed to suggest this was REAL and TRUE EVENTS for a second. Way to get me engaged and reference the epistolary nature of the original novel.

But yes, the story does get turned into a bit of a Last Girl Horror Movie, because they see and know there's something wrong and they're actively fighting against it, even as they get picked off one by one. An interesting take, a pretty damn good method of turning a bleak setpiece into a proper standalone story.

Dot points to follow, before I forget:

The opening with the wagons moving through the countryside was breathtakingly beautiful

(I couldn't help but think 'oh they're wearing the same hats my good friend Jonathan Harker wrote about')

The captain's log being read aloud, word for word, in quieter moments was very very good. (And, of course, by this point I know it word-for-word, so picking up on the small tweaks was quite a delight).

I enjoyed hearing the familiar names as we're introduced to the crew.

The captain's decision to retire and pass the ship on does make me reconsider the mate's stoic nature in the story as a man dedicated to his duty, rather than just an antisocial asshole. Always nice to consider things from a new angle.

Chekov's Black Dog (kind of a missed opportunity to not show Dracula using a mockery of Huck to escape, but this wasn't a one-to-one transformation of texts as I said; also no reference to a black dog being an omen of death? Missed opportunity.)

Dracula being the only one on the ship being allowed to eat meat, just a glimpse of his hypocrisy and tyranny

(Though I'm not a huge fan of modern vampires being depicted as messy eaters, Netflix's Castlevania etc: just DRINK THE BLOOD stop biting people and letting them BLEED EVERYWHERE, did your mother not teach you dining etiquette???)

"Can this disease be passed to people?" "No. Not without a bite" very cute.

The initial reveal of the face in the spyglass FUCK that was terrifying.

Considering inwardly 'why he look like that? We know he was an aristocrat when he left his castle -- wait, hang on, is this what happens when vampires get seasick? When they cross running water? They stop wearing clothes and go feral?' before I turned off my brain and stopped thinking about Seasick Naked Count Dracula

They really did need to add this new character, because the audience and the crew both needed the context and information. Otherwise, how could the crew fight back? RIP to canon, I guess, (but look at it this way: once Mina starts putting all the letters together, she gives Hellsing and the others the necessary information to kill Dracula, so... not too much of a reach?)

But Dracula, sir, bringing along a snack for the road and it ISN'T our friend Jonathan Harker?

The subtle reveal-and-conceal in the early parts of the voyage of Dracula's face and form was well done and genuinely terrifying. Just the parts where you look away for just a second and he's gone? Fuck.

"No, please! D:" "No, please~ :3"

HE'S GOING ABOUT IN HIS LIZARD FASHION AGAIN. THAT BOY AIN'T RIGHT.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Not your friend, that's for sure. (Dracula stealing this is Fucked Up, in the best way. He takes EVERYTHING from you! :) )

Vampirism as possession is an excellent way to recontextualise its parasitic history/links

Where's that tumblr post about how you can tell what a good horror film is? 'This movie's great, a kid DIES in it!'

Seeing the cloth move a second before the captain says 'I saw him move' but doubting myself. I didn't see that, right? It was just the wind. Right?

Oh. It wasn't the wind.

Men of Strength overpowered, Men of Faith made to doubt, Men of Reason rattled by answers that make no sense, and the Innocent hunted down. Dracula as a force of Pure Terror that tests one's character (and then eats, because he's a boyar and he dines on the cattle of his choosing)

Did he just slam this guy down so hard his BRAIN popped out of his skull, holy shit

'In my country, there's no-one else for him to feed on' what, do people go stale after a few bites? Dracula's a picky eater?

'He's rationing' puts the journey into even greater context. A chilling sentence in the film and in the broader understanding of the Demeter's place in the novel.

a Cool Plan to Survive The Monster is very action-movie, but I knew it wouldn't work (sorry, sometimes the spoilers/pre-knowledge ruin things)

'This is my home.' Augh. 'I'll do it.' AUGH.

The slow creeping fog rising up (like hands? like an embrace?) in the final hours was CHEF'S KISS. Beautiful effect

(Also loved the effect of the wind from His Wings displacing the fog, too. Even if you don't see him, you can see where he's been)

"What's going on?" "He knows." Oh. Well. Fuck.

The Last Voyage of the Demeter isn't told from the Captain's perspective, so much of the man's nobility and sacrifice in the name of duty is lost (even to the point that his iconic death pose is capital-m Mocked by The Dracula (almost like the old BAsTard was like 'I know you've read Stoker's book but I'm here to fuck with you, dear audience'). The Captain isn't the Final Girl in this horror movie, but they do give him a proper end as far as the film goes, even if he does get a lot more rattled and shaken than his log might suggest

There's also a sense of blurred intertextuality in vampire lore here, because they drew heavily on the Hammer Films/Buffy The Vampire Slayer context of 'vampires burning in sunlight'. Not truly Stoker's Dracula...

... then again, Dracula has a very particular Design, and is credited in the crawl as 'Dracula/Nosferatu'. He was for sure Count Orlock, rather than Dracula.

Knock Knock. I'm here watching you :3

That brief touch from Dracula as he leaves the bar was - fuck, it was a split second to make a poor man flinch, but in that brief touch was the playful terror of a tyrant: I own you, I don't fear you, you can't stop me, I control you. Nothing you said to me on the Demeter had any effect on me and you are just meat. Ta ta, darling~

The movie ending with a new survivor, the potential for a new vampire hunter, was very good. Instead of the Log of the Demeter ending in bleak despair and all hands lost, instead we have a man galvanised and ready to fight against evil, even if he has to do it alone.

Music kicked ass. Very raw, very primal, very Gothic Victoriana

Lots of fun! It felt a little like they were setting up for an Extended Dracula Universe (I hope I'm misinterpreting) but I did like how Getting To Live after a traumatic experience leads to 'Fuck this guy, he's not getting away with this in the future'. Like I said before, we wanted the monster back so we could kill it, so I appreciate that's the vibe they went with for LVotD. A little bleak? Sure. But the fact that people are willing to keep fighting, even in the direst circumstances with the odds against them? That's what we need. That's what it's all about.

[slytherin-girly]

Done/ A Draco Malfoy x reader one-shot

House: doesn't matter ~~~~~~~ (Remember u are beautiful!🤍) "Haha look it's little worthless!" Some slytherin shouted pointing at me. I walked faster trying to get away from them Everyone bullied me, even the trio "Awww look mudblood is trying to run faster! What a shame!" Pansy sneered at me. Laughs erupted everywhere around me. "Oi! Y/l/n!" Someone said grabbing my arm. "Trying to run. To bad your legs can't carry you any faster than a slug." Draco taunted. Silent tears trickling down my face. "Awwww is someone gonna cry" Pansy snickered. "You're a worthless filthy little mudblood. And you take up space here." He spat. "You're mudblood mother must've begged Dumbledore to let you in here. You're talentless! A waste of space!" Everyone snickered. "Leave. Me. Alone." I spat. "The bitch talks!" "Leave me alone! You achieved your goal! Say what you want to say! I am done! I'm done with your stupid remarks! I don't care! I don't care anymore! Say what you want to fucking say!" I snapped, everyone now staring at me in shock. "You did it! I want to die! I want to disappear! I don't want to be here anymore! You all made my life a living hell! I never did anything! You all achieved your goal with tormenting me every! Single! Day!" I yelled, everyone surprised of my outrage. I ran out to the girls bathroom, where Myrtle was. "Die then! No one's gonna notice anyway!" ~~~~~~~ "Oh hello Y/n, you never see me anymore how come?" Myrtle asked floating everywhere around the bathroom. "Myrtle, w-why is everyone so-so mean t-to m-me" I sobbed hugging my knees. "Oh Y/n I was bullied because of my glasses, people said they were... funny looking" "I don't see anything wrong with them" "I'll see you later Myrtle" I smiled sadly. "Bye Y/n come back soon" she said floating off singing if you called it that, or humming something. ~~~~~~~ I forced myself to go to dinner despite earlier. I sat alone, as usual at the end of the table staring off into space. "Hey Y/n" Harry said walking up to me "What are you doing here?" "Are you gonna eat that?" He asked, Ron and Hermione were behind him. "I don't know- no-?" "Good." He grabbed the bowl and dumped it over my head. Hermione and Ron laughed along with him and everyone else in the hall. I walked out angrily reminiscing the times when I was happy, a little girl who thought she could take on the world no matter what anyone said about her. Guess younger me was wrong after all. I had grabbed the towel out of my pocket and wiped all I could off and went to a lonely corridor and sat and cried. I learned to always have a small little towel at all times because I never know what could get dumped it thrown on me. "I just want to be happy!" I sobbed. "I just want a normal life!" I sighed and looked up at the moon. It had always looked lonely, but it was always accompanied by the stars. I heard a cough in the distance." Y/n." It was Draco. "Come to humiliate me more I see. Go ahead. Give it your best shot. Not like I'll be around long anyway." I mumbled the last part, more to myself. "Y/n please-" "No! You're right! I am worthless! I am taking up space! I shouldn't be here! You're right!" I shout. "No please listen-" "No! You're right! Maybe I should just disa-" I got cut off by his lips on mine. I hesitate but kiss back. "Now, I'm sorry Y/n. I really am. The only reason I did that was because- because I was in love with you and I didn't know how to show it." "Well you thought of a funny way of showing it." I grumbled. "I'm sorry. I really am." "It's okay." "What-?" "You are not as bad as pansy, I've been tormented by worse. At least you never dumped food al over me." "Be mine Y/n?" "Surely." I smiled. "Now let's get you cleaned up" he said dragging me away.

Hope you enjoyed! Comments and reblogs are appreciated! Love you guys so much! ❤🤍❤

Requests can be made! So please make some! I only write for Draco currently!