#and Shinji’s deadbeat ass parents

[86future]

Blame the fall of man, blame the fool moon.

neon genesis evangelion + fool’s gold.

[paraemu]

which of the main riders should NOT be a parent

godai: canonically kids love him and we know he's good at household chores and he's just a great guy all around so he'd make a wonderful father. however its unlikely that he would have kids cause he's always traveling around, but if he ever settles down i can see foster kids coming in and out of his and ichijou's house all the time

shouichi: i havent seen agito but all i know about him is that he's basically a housewife so i assume he could take care of a kid. he seems to have some baggage that would stop him from becoming a parent tho

shinji: i dont think the thought of having kids has even crossed shinji's mind. can't really imagine him as a parent

takumi: he'd probably have to think long and hard about it first but i can see him warming up to the idea of having kids in the future (i will NEVER forgive inoue for robbing him and kiba of a future together i hope he goes to hell)

kenzaki: for obvious reasons kenzaki can't have children and actually its making me sad just typing this im skipping this one

hibiki: him being a dad is like the whole premise of the show

tendou: tendou is the perfect mary sue which means he's immortal and will never die and as such reproduction is meaningless to him

ryoutaro: he canonically has a grandson so congratulations on reproducing. i hope it was with yuuto. the idea of all the imagin pitching in and helping ryoutaro raise his child along with his sister is rly cute i love den-o

wataru: ok listen i KNOW inoue just threw in wataru's child from the future as a joke but i think wataru having a child 2-3 years after the show completely unprepared to be a parent and having a rly hard time with parenting all around is unfortunately very in-character for him. i believe in him tho i know with some therapy and a couple of parenting classes he can power thru

tsukasa: tsukasa would be a shit ass fucking dad and i dont think we should allow him near children. however it would be insanely funny if he and daiki were sougo's awful deadbeat parents who left him in a wet cardboard box all alone as a baby so now i am married to this au

philip and shoutaro: can't imagine either of them having kids

eiji: after the ooo summer movie i am convinced that eiji REALLY wants to have kids but his trauma prevented him from ever giving any serious thought to it. and then the whole ankh situation happened, so it'll probably remain an unfulfilled desire. he'd make a great dad if he ever had the chance tho (the ooo vcin doesnt exist to me)

gentarou: he has the vibes of someone who will have 5 kids by the time he's 30. in his case they're all most likely adopted but still. also probably houses and rehabilitates troubled teens

haruto: he wouldn't be half bad at parenting but i don't think it's something he wants. even after he's let go of most of his emotional baggage he's just the sort who likes to keep to himself and live independently

kouta: if he wasn't a god he would probably marry mai and have 2.5 kids with her

shinnosuke: HE DOESNT DESERVE KIRIKO SHE SHOULD BE MARRIED TO ME AND HAVE MY CHILD NOT HIS

takeru: i heard he has a child in the novel? ok i read the novel summary and nvm thats not canon to me. he should marry akari instead. the 3/3 on normie het marriages is concerning gaim-drive-ghost truly was the dark ages

emu: fast forward 4 years from the end of ex-aid and you'll find emu entering his milf era. he's going to have 3 kids separated by 2 years each. he's had like MAD baby fever since college so he's got it all planned out already

sento: realistically? banjou and sento are definitely not having children. s/o to ppl who write kid fic of them where their baby is also a science genius tho i think thats cute

sougo: no. just no.

aruto: i.... honestly dont know. hes too busy looking after the company and fighting for humagears and stuff i guess

touma: i havent finished saber yet but i think kento and touma should have two kids one boy and one girl I DONT CARE WHAT TRIO OF DEEP SIN SAYS

ikki: probably also getting normie het married and having 2.5 kids idk hes not important

ace: complete wild card we're still on episode 3. will update this when geats is over

[godkilller]

Roast Shinji. His neglectful parenting is how Bleach happened

SEND CHARACTERS FOR GIN TO ROAST

          ❝ Whatta sad excuse for a cap’n you were, it’s no surprise ya got taken down by a rampagin’ lil Hollowfyin’ kid strikin’ out all randomly... and your own falterin’ temper. How fuckin’ stupid do ya gotta be to fall into a trap set by a guy y’were suspectin’ of treason this whole time ---- an’ never even tryin’ to accuse him prior, never tryin’ to warn anyone after your exile, never tryin’ to reach out to anybody, never lookin’ back ‘cause I guess that’s the kinda leader y’were and are; a deadbeat. You deserved it, everythin’ that happened to ya, everythin’ that you coulda stopped, you deserved it all. It’s a shame Urahara Kisuke came in to save your sorry ass considerin’ you should’ve died that night ---- not like anybody woulda missed you. ❞

[piduai]

eva stans waited so looong for this movie and the makers were like :) so :) was:) it:) worth:) it:)

bruuuuh i knew it’s gonna be bad and my expectations of how bad it would be were 100% met! i watched it yesterday but already forgot everything about it which doesn’t say much because i mentally checked out of the plot on minute 7. i really don’t know what to say about it except that it was bad lol pretty much everyone except ikari fucking GENDO was disrespected nedjfnredj gendo was actually given much more depth than necessary, they spent like 10 whole minutes on exposition of his unhealthy obsession with his dead wife and how she retconned his life-long sociopathic misanthropy AND then they gave him the imagery of committing double suicide with her I Can Not Cope. 

first off it was WAY too long, i feel even for people whose attention span isn’t shit 3 entire hours of this garbage is a bit too much. they made misato a deadbeat mom who turned out to have been already bred when k*ji died and her kid is 14 but she’s never met him because she’d be ‘an unworthy mother’ but then she went on a suicide mission being like ‘this is the only thing mom can do for you </3′. the absolute DISRESPECT asuka got served totally went over my expectations tho, like it actually felt hostile - she’s introduced naked, then EVERY single time she appears she’s different degrees of undressed, we get a full-screen shot of her underage-looking pussy a few times, and then she gets violently murdered on screen (again) while screeching. eva writers be like if i don’t violently kill this annoying slut on screen at least once i’m gonna kms instead. and like she’s supposed to be 38 mentally alright? but she acts like an unstable mentally challenged teenager the whole time lmfao and then she confesses her teenager love to shinji <3 i was never fond of rei but even poor rei’s treatment was pitiable, she was essentially a born sexy yesterday (no shots of her pussy tho rip rei truthers) and then she just fucking dies by means of her head becoming juice. even SHINJI is weird af, he’s catatonic and unresponsive the first half and then he’s like i’m ok actually i chose to grow up in the span of 3 minutes. good for him i guess.

my fav part was how they gave all fujos the L by making kaworu symbolize gendo’s repressed ‘love’ for shinji so essentially kaworu has been the manifestation of gendo’s parental attachment to shinji the whole time hrjtgnfdjkn and then in the end! after all the impacts and all shinji snatches the power of god from his dad and wishes for a reality where there’s no evas and the movie ends in a retconned alternative universe where Peace Governs and in this universe kaworu is fucking rei and shinji is fucking the pink megane girl whatever was her name who honestly was the one character who for some reason got the best treatment in this movie. no sign of asuka in the epilogue, not even a fleeting one!!!!!!! great movie great movie thanks for the brain damage <3

no let me reiterate actually my fav part was a different one. first half of the movie they get into this random ass village where kansai-ben and freckles girl from the original are married and have a fucking baby right? anyway shinji is catatonic the whole time because he can’t get over kaworu’s death, his trauma gets triggered a couple of times he keeps seeing his head explode and all, anyway he’s DEEPLY traumatized obviously but then after a while he starts getting better and becoming functional again and then after he’s finally gotten out of his shell rei just fucking dies in front of his eyes by means of her head exploding. nobody else in the theater was laughing so i had to bite into my palm because it was absolutely hysterical.