#and Randy!: whos is a bit like Ben when he is in a suit. but infinitely more awkward. he is still maturing xD

[thesportssoundoff]

“A very weird card for a very weird month” UFC Fight Night: Weidman vs Reyes Preview

Joey

October 14th, 2019

It's Octobr and the UFC's scheduling usually goes like this in my estimation:

Jan- New year, we're all excited, folks get injured, overpacked shows in December hurt the new year but we deal with it.

Feb- Injuries/cold means makeshift cards, people get mad.

March- Shows are a bit fatter, big title fights are coming around, people are excited.

April- The "set up" for the summer months, usually really good fight cards on paper with little to no name value.

May- Normally the "bad" PPV month, free events are good.

June- The last month before things get wild and wooly. PPV's tend to be damn good, free cards tend to be pretty balanced.

July- Everything has to be BIG so you get BIG PPV and then an event or two after the PPV that drag down the blocks average.

August- The end of the summer, injuries get heavy because of the seasonal change, focus is on prepping for November and December.

September- OH MY GOD EVERYBODY IS HURT! EVERYTHING IS REALLY WEIRD! THERE'S SO MUCH GOING ON!

October- The down month where they're scrapping and salvaging just to get to MSG. Shows are pretty much whatever they can put together without working too hard. Usually where they do some kind of weird Canadian card. The cards tend to bounce between "This is surprisingly good" and "I don't have the time or the energy for this".

November- IT'S MSG! IT'S LOADED! What about the rest of the month? Ah, okay then. Carry on.

December- The end of the year where they try to end with a bang. Normally a lot of drama, prep for 2020. We get fights announced for next year that usually top what we're being offered this year. Big PPV to end things on the right note.

This card is pretty much 100% October. You have a kind of weird but kinda good main event at the top of the bill, a really good yet weird co-main event under it, a really weird but kinda good HW fight and then a bunch of Northeast projects and prospects. If you remove the top three fights, finding the next good fight that is objectively good might depend on how you feel about Gillian Robertson vs Maycee Barber. Me personally I think you can do far, far worse than Barber vs Robertson and actually quite like the fight as a good test for Maycee Barber. After that? You have some highly touted prospects coming off losses (Manny Bermudez, Randy Costa, Boston Salmon), some guys off the Contenders Series trying to find their niche (Brendan Allen, Sean Woodson, Jonathan Pearce)  and a bunch of filler. It's kinda not bad filler though? Everything about this card is just weird, folks. Bare with.

Fights: 13

Debuts: Tanner Boser, Brendan Allen, Sean Woodson, Sean Brady, Diana Belbiţă, Ben Sosoli, Jonathan Pearce

Fight Changes/Injury Cancellations: (Zabit Magomedsharipov vs Calvin Kattar CANCELLED/Eric Spicely OUT, Kevin Holland IN vs Brendan Allen)

Headliners (fighters who have either main evented or co-main evented shows in the UFC): 5 (Greg Hardy, Jeremy Stephens, Yair Rodriguez, Chris Weidman, Joe Lauzon)

Fighters On Losing Streaks in the UFC: 1 (Joe Lauzon)

Fighters On Winning Streaks in the UFC: 6 (Dominick Reyes, Chris Weidman, Greg Hardy, Gillian Robertson, Maycee Barber, Kevin Holland)

Main Card Record Since Jan 1st 2017 (in the UFC): 24-15

Chris Weidman- 1-2 Dominick Reyes- 5-0 Jeremy Stephens- 3-3 (1 NC) Yair Rodriguez- 2-1 (1 NC) Greg Hardy- 2-1 Ben Sosoli- 0-0 Joe Lauzon- 1-3 Jonathan Pearce- 0-0 Gillian Robertson- 4-1 Maycee Barber- 2-0 Deron Winn- 1-0 Darren Stewart- 3-4

Fights By Weight Class (yearly number here):

Featherweight- 3 (52) Women’s Flyweight- 2 (31) Middleweight-  2 (40) Heavyweight- 2 (31) Welterweight- 1 (62) Light Heavyweight- 1 (39) Bantamweight- 1 (53)

Lightweight- (66) Women’s Strawweight- (26) Flyweight-  (15) Women’s Featherweight- (8) Women’s Bantamweight-  (18)

2019 Number Tracker

Debuting Fighters (33-55-1)- Tanner Boser, Brendan Allen, Sean Woodson, Sean Brady, Diana Belbiţă, Ben Sosoli, Jonathan Pearce

Short Notice Fighters (28-35)- Kevin Holland

Second Fight (52-34)- Randy Costa, Boston Salmon, Deron Winn

Cage Corrosion (Fighters who have not fought within a year of the date of the fight) (20-37-1)- Charles Rosa, Joe Lauzon, Daniel Spitz

Undefeated Fighters (35-37-2)- Dominick Reyes, Sean Woodson, Maycee Barber

Fighters with at least four fights in the UFC with 0 wins over competition still in the organization (11-8)-

Weight Class Jumpers (Fighters competing outside of the weight class of their last fight even if they’re returning BACK to their “normal weight class”) (29-20)- Chris Weidman, Manny Bermudez

Twelve Precarious Ponderings

1- Why is a New York vs New York fight taking place in Boston? I know that might not matter from a lot of folks but as the guy who grew up with boxers headlining in their home markets, this irks me.

2- I feel like this main event almost depends entirely on how you view Volkan Oezdemir as a fighter. The last time we saw Dom Reyes, he was given a really hard tough fight against Volkan Oezdemir in London. I don't think "robbery" is fair but I do think if you scored it for Volkan then you have a justifiable grumble about him losing that decision. What has gone under the radar is that Reyes did a tremendous job to adjust to what wasn't working and mix in more work to the body to keep it close and then the general rule of "win the third round, win the fight" wins out. I think there's no shame in a young prospect getting tested on his way up the ranks and managing to get by. You'd rather see warts now than in the middle of the first round of a title fight. Also Volkan Oezdemir is proving to be a pretty good quality 205er who even in his losses has moments of success. As such, I'm left to wonder if folks are a bit too harsh on a dude who iced Jared Cannonier, had no issues with OSP and remains the most exciting LONG TERM prospect at 205 lbs.

3- Is it too late for Chris Weidman? Despite the calls of folks to move up in weight, Weidman held off until seemingly all options were exhausted at 185 lbs. The fact of the matter and the unbearable truth is that Chris Weidman's style was based all on his durability and versatility simply fell apart when he needed it the most. He couldn't withstand the wars he was putting himself in at 185 lbs and his wrestling isn't as advertised anymore. At the same time, he still subbed Kelvin Gastelum, has a Hall of Fame worthy resume and enters a division where mid tier MWs are having breakout runs to title shots. Weidman can still crack, has a variety of offensive tools in his backpocket and in SPURTS he's still a good wrestler. Weidman's biggest problem for me as a wrestler has always been his lack of control once fights hit the turf but maybe cutting less weight will help. Then again Luke Rockhold didn't get much help in that regard either.

4- Here's how I'm beginning to feel about guys from 185 lbs going up to 205 lbs. If you're an athlete (Thiago Santos, even Anthony Smith to some degree) then it can work because the athletic barometer at 205 is better than HW but lowert han any other weight class. Guys who are fast at 185 lbs will remain fast at 205 lbs because that travels. They're also likely to hit a lot harder given the increase in weight. That said, if you're slow or clunky, no amount of weight cutting is going to fix that. Luke Rockhold simply looks and perhaps may just be a slow and clunky guy. Against Jan Blachowicz, he LOOKED like a heavier version of his usual self. What makes me worried about Chris Weidman and his chances at 205 lbs is that he's slow, clunky and kind of sort of broken. I don't think his body and his (lack of) speed will travel much at 205 lbs.

5- So who is hurt more by having to cut weight again for this fight, Yair or Jeremy Stephens? I kind of think it'll be Yair but I also saw him show up on two weeks notice to fist fight the Korean Zombie.

6- I really hope there's a chance, honestly and truthfully, that Joe Lauzon calls it quits win or lose. Lauzon feels like one of those guys who would be better suited in his personal life giving up the ghost and embracing the next phase.

7- This feels like the first real card to roll out the Contenders Series for season 3 so I'll break down who is whom and how they got here:

HW Ben Sosoli faces Greg Hardy- Sosoli is an Aussie kickboxer who made the MMA transition, fought on TUF and emerged on the DWCS in season 3. He had a "no contest" but was on his way to winning the fight before an eye poke (by him) ended the fight. Sosoli is being brought in to have a slugfest with Hardy.

LW Jon Pearce has a pretty crazy story. He was in a coma after getting jumped by somebody at his gym after hours. He recovered and fights like every southeastern dude who has ever fought in the UFC; basically scrapping when he wants to and wrestling out of trouble when he has to. I would say "He's the kind of guy who can give Joe Lauzon trouble" but I think at this point anybody with a working pulse gives him trouble.

FW Sean Woodson is REAL interesting. He took on a super prospect in his DWCS fight and struggled with the consistent wrestling----then he hit one of the cooler flying knees ever and scored a walk off second round KO. Dana even admitted that his finish was TOO good to not get signed despite the concerns he had about his wrestling.

MW Brendan Allen is your yearly "LFA has a middleweight champ and we gotta sign him" guy. He's accomplished-ish at 12-3 with some losses to good competition (Anthony Hernandez and Eryk Anders are both having solid runs). He's a violent kinda dude but I think he's a step below Ian Heinisch and Anthony Hernandez IE: he's kinda sketchy.

8- Boston Salmon was a really hyped L(R)FA prospect, the kind of guy who the UFC normally signs before he's ready and rushes out there. Salmon won on the DWCS in Season One and disappeared, re-emerging this year before losing in ugly fashion in his first fight with the organization. We've detailed here how badly debuting fighters struggle but also how much better they do in their second go around. Of course the same could be said for his opponent Boston Salmon. I guess win or lose, I think Salmon's going to look worlds better than he did in his debut. It couldn't in theory have looked much worse?

9- I wish I knew about Molly McCann's opponent so I could somewhat excited about her fight upcoming. Diana Belbita lost to Ariana Lipski who Molly McCann beat so....I dunno dudes.

10- I wonder how many fighters people would know off of this main card. 4 or 5 tops? Manny Bermudez, Molly McCann, Kevin Holland  and then?

11- So let's talk about Kevin Holland briefly, shall we? Holland's UFC run has been weird to say the least. Holland debuted on short notice against THIAGO SANTOS (!), took all of Santos' best offense and somehow lived to tell the tale about it. In large part, Holland's ability to just talk copious amounts of shit no matter the circumstance endeared him to UFC fans and supporters. In the end, Holland got his best opportunity and since then the UFC has taken it slow and steady with him. Holland has wins over John Phillips, Gerald Meerschaert and most recently a close decision win over Alessio Di Chirico. Holland's rep as an action fighter is overstated (as is most of his game) but to go 3-1 in the UFC under any circumstances is pretty solid. He's the sort of guy who doesn't like to work too hard theoretically but lacks the middle ground to carry himself beyond that point. Yet he's so gifted, long and determined that he tends to be able to get by doing the bare minimum. Brendan Allen is probably going to give him plenty of opportunities to be offensive if he wants to be but that's entirely up to Holland and his mentality.

12- The last time we saw him, Deron Winn was having a FOTN style war with Eric Spicely on short notice. Winn has a lot of "poor man's DC" about him which is a really unfair comparison but I can't think of a guy that short in a weight class who prioritizes the same arsenal of strikes that he does other than DC. He gets a kind of risky step up in competition with Darren "The Dentist" Stewart. Stewart has a bit of a funky UFC record, he started his run 0-3 and then hit a stride of sorts since then, going 3-1 with the sole loss being a super close split decision to MW prospect Edmen Shahbazyan. Stewart hits really hard and has found some tremendously timely resolve with his takedown defense, creating a sort of fight that should be closer on paper than some folk might realize.

[leabharlannkay]

Into the Dark (6/?)

Title: Into the Dark

Pairing: Hardy x Hannah

Rating: Adult

Warnings: Stalking, Sexy times

Summary: Alec swore off women after his marriage ended, and Hannah is in no rush to date again after breaking Ben’s heart, but sparks fly when they meet. The only problem is that someone else wants Hannah all to himself. Will Hardy be able to protect her? Will Hannah let him?

Note: NSFW

Previously on Into the Dark

Chapter Six

Hannah eyed herself in the mirror and then adjusted the waist of her black leather shorts. She wore a thin cream blouse and a black blazer with them, plus sky high black stilettos. She’d chosen her outfit with care for her second Wicked Desires signing. She didn’t want to dress like a nun, that just wasn’t her style, but she also couldn’t stop thinking about the letters. You have the most gorgeous breasts, and the shirt you wore was such a tease.

Her outfit this time didn’t even offer a hint of cleavage, but the shorts were tantalizingly short. It made her feel better, that she didn’t have to completely change her style to feel shielded. Plus, she thought Alec might like them. On cue, she heard his sharp, perfunctory knock and called for him to let himself in as she combed her fingers through her hair.

“Ye shouldn’t do that, tell people to come in. What if it wasn’t me?” Alec said as he hovered in the doorway to the en suite. Hannah finished arranging her hair and leaned in for a lingering kiss.

“Mmm, but I knew it was you. No one but another copper knocks like you do,” she teased, brushing her fingers against his stomach as she slipped by him.

Alec rolled his eyes but followed after her. “Are ye nearly ready?

“Yep. The publisher is sending a car for us, so no need to get a cab,” Hannah said. She made sure she had everything she needed; extra pens for signing, mints, water, and paracetamol. A horn sounded outside. Alec peeked through the window dressing and saw a sleek black car waiting.

“Car’s here,” he muttered. Hannah grabbed her bag and his hand, pulling him from the house.

She cuddled close in the backseat as the car raced through London to the signing venue. Alec pressed a kiss to the crown of her head. Hannah smiled. She never would have expected it, but after agreeing that he was her bloke she’d felt a sense of peace. Oh, he still excited her. She dreamt every night about having him in her bed. She’d even lost count of how many times she wanked after their routine good-night calls. But there was a certain comfort in calling him hers that she hadn’t felt before.

She leaned over and nipped at his earlobe. “Want to snog in the back seat like a pair of randy teenagers?”

Alec chuckled, and turned his face to kiss her. Hannah slipped her tongue between his lips, stroking against his, but held back from pushing much farther. She didn’t want to make him uncomfortable, and she knew that Alec wasn’t as adventurous as she was. It didn’t matter though. Just snogging him in the back seat made her stomach clench with desire.

They continued to kiss lazily until the car stopped outside the venue, then Alec got out and handed Hannah out of the car. A few fans were already milling about, mostly women, and they flocked to Hannah once they realized it was her. Alec shifted immediately into protective mode.

“It’s fine,” Hannah murmured as he tensed behind her, ready to whisk her away. She chatted for a moment, and then continued on inside. Abigail was waiting at the door. She took Hannah’s elbow, frowning at Alec as he followed after them to the makeshift dressing room.

“Who’s this? He the bloke you mentioned in your interview last week?” Abigail asked.

“Yeah, he’s the bloke,” Hannah said, offering Alec a sly smile over her shoulder. He grinned back, no doubt thinking of the night, and the orgasms, that had cemented his status as her bloke. Abigail rolled her eyes and continued on.

She left them in a small room, more of a closet really, with strict instructions to be ready for introductions in thirty minutes time. Alec sank onto the small sofa crammed into the room, while Hannah unloaded to contents of her bag onto the small table beneath a mirror. The room was so small that Alec could reach out and touch her from where he sat.

He ran his fingertip over the pocket of her shorts. “I like these.”

“Do you?” Hannah asked, turning around with a cheeky grin. Alec flattened his palm against her bum, following the curve of her hip as she moved. He nodded. Hannah leaned forward, just barely brushing her lips against his. Alec’s hand tightened on her hip.

“Aye.” Hannah straddled his thighs and sank slowly onto his lap, wiggling just a bit when he groaned. His fingers tightened on her thighs. “They make yer legs look fucking incredible.”

Hannah kissed him. Hearing him swear, knowing that she was turning him on, was like a drug that she couldn’t get enough of. It was a powerful feeling.

“You know,” she whispered, licking and sucking her way up his neck. “We have twenty minutes before Abigail comes back. We could do a lot in twenty minutes.”

“I don’t,” he broke off in a hiss as she hit a particularly sensitive spot. “I don’t want the first time I shag ye to be in a closet. I don’t want to be rushed. I want to take my time, taste every inch of ye, make ye mad with wanting me. The same way ye make me mad with wanting you.”

Hannah sat back on his knees. It was the sweetest, hottest rejection she’d ever gotten. His eyes went wide, waiting for her to either run or cry or scream, and he relaxed when she did none of it. She took his face in her hands and pressed a firm kiss to his lips.

“I don’t want to be rushed either.”

The next twenty minutes was passed just talking. When Abigail opened the door, without knocking, and beckoned Hannah to the stage, she kissed Alec and dutifully followed her event coordinator.

The crowd, hundreds of people, was already seated when Hannah took the stage. She waved to everyone and switched on her microphone.

“Hello! Thank you for coming!” She scanned the crowd, making eye contact with random fans. Near the back she made eye contact with a former client. She tried not to frown. Hadn’t he been at her last signing too? Her pulse started to race as she thought about the letters.

The questions were mostly the same as the last signing, and Hannah was grateful. She was too on edge to think of anything new and insightful to say. She answered without thought until the moderator asked about her talk show appearance.

“So you’ve got a bloke? Is he here tonight?”

Hannah smiled, she couldn’t help it. “He is. He’s hiding in the back. Doesn’t like crowds much.”

“Or maybe you just want to keep him all to yourself. He’s gotta be well fit, to snag a lady like you.”

Hannah winked at the crowd. “I suppose you’ll never know.”

#

Three nights later, Hannah sank into a bathtub full of warm, sudsy water. The scent of lavender filled the air and she took a deep breath, relaxing against the small towel she used to pillow her neck. Water sloshed gently as she shifted.

A rock skittered outside.

Hannah turned on some soft music; a sensual song full of low strings that made her think of Alec. She bit her lip, wondering if she could call him. He was working the overnight shift, but if it was slow he could probably take a personal call. She wanted to hear his voice. She closed her eyes and imagined he was there with her, his hands skimming up her stomach to cup her breasts, his fingers brushing against her nipple.

A branch scraped against the side of the house.

Hannah started a bit and frowned. It was breezy outside, but not especially windy. She sighed, pushing the spark of paranoia out of her mind. Her hands resumed drifting over her body, toying between her legs. Thoughts of Alec had Hannah’s blood simmering with desire, as always, and she gasped as she ran a finger over her clit.

There was a thump somewhere outside.

Hannah sat up, water sloshing dangerously close to the sides of the bath, and quickly turned off the music. Her heart raced. She listened for a long moment, but there was no other sound.

A shadow drifted across the wall.

Hannah scrambled from the bath, slipping into her robe and throwing on the lights. She’d lived alone long enough to know the sounds of her house, these noises were not normal.

Another thump, closer.

Hannah scooped up her phone, dialing Alec with shaky fingers as she pressed her face to the French doors of the bathroom, the ones that led out to a small balcony.

“’Lo?”

“There’s someone outside my house,” Hannah gasped, relieved beyond measure to hear Alec’s voice.

“What?”

“There’s someone outside. Maybe trying to find a way in, I don’t know. Alec, please come.” Hannah fought desperately to keep the panic from her voice.

“I’ll be there as soon as I can, Hannah. Call the police.”

He hung up. She wished that he’d stayed on the line with her, but he was right, she should call the police. The dispatcher told her that someone would be out soon, but Hannah didn’t believe them. They had bigger issues to worry about.

She paced in the kitchen, her hair dripping water on the floor. After a few minutes, the flashing lights of a police car appeared out her window. She ran to the door to let them in, and met a harried Alec jogging up the walk. Hannah threw herself into his arms.

“It’s okay, yer okay,” Alec soothed, smoothing his hand over her hair. He urged her back inside while the police looked around.

“We didn’t find anything, sir,” one of the officers reported to Alec. Hannah frowned.

“Nothing?”

“No. Not a footprint, nothing looks tampered with, not a bit of evidence to say someone was here.” Hannah chewed at her thumbnail. Maybe she was just being paranoid. She’d been so sure…

“Thank ye,” Alec said, escorting the officer out. As soon as he was gone, Alec locked the door. Hannah’s eyes met his and she sighed, rubbing at her forehead.

“I’m sorry,” she muttered, embarrassment staining her cheeks red.

“Just because there wasn’t evidence, doesn’t mean someone wasn’t outside,” Alec said. Hannah blew out a breath and nodded.

Alec pulled her into his arms and held her for a long moment. When he moved to step out of her embrace, Hannah held tightly. She buried her face in his chest. “I can’t…I don’t want to be alone.”

She leaned back to look at him. “It’s probably silly, but I don’t want to be alone right now. Stay the night?”

Alec kissed her, his lips sliding smoothly over hers, reassuring and comforting. “Aye, I’ll stay.”

He made tea as Hannah drained the tub and combed out her hair, piling it high on her head. She changed into thick, flannel pajamas, hoping they would ward off the chill she couldn’t shake. Alec appeared in her bedroom doorway with two steaming mugs. He set them on the bedside table and then sat down on the bed, opening his arms to her.

“Yer shaking like a leaf,” Alec said as she burrowed into his side.

“I can’t seem to get warm,” Hannah offered. She pressed her nose into his neck, breathing in his scent. Alec hesitated for a moment, and then urged her to look at him.

“Let’s see what can be done about that, aye?”

He kissed her. Not the reassuring kisses of a few minutes before, but kisses that threatened to overwhelm her with their passion. Hannah opened beneath him instinctively, her tongue flicking out to tease his. Alec’s groan rumbled in his chest, sending tingles of pleasure from her breasts to her core.

Alec shifted, scooting them lower on the bed and rolling Hannah beneath him. She hooked her leg around his hip, pressing his pelvis into hers. His cock swelled against her, straining at the zip of his trousers and Hannah circled her hips. He groaned, breaking the kiss.

“Fuck, Hannah,” he rasped. His forehead dropped against hers and he hurriedly worked at the buttons of her flannel top. His fingers were warm against her skin.

“Alec,” she sighed. He teased her nipples into hard peaks and kissed his way down her throat. Hannah let her fingers sift through his hair, scratching at his scalp in a way that made him shudder against her. Alec’s tongue traced its way over her collarbone, down the valley between her breasts. Hannah squirmed beneath him, her fingers tugging at his hair and urging him closer to where she wanted him. He chuckled.

“Impatient,” he teased, just before closing his lips around her nipple. Hannah cried out as he suckled her, his hand skating down her stomach to slip beneath the waistband of her pajamas. Hannah rolled her hips as Alec’s finger traced along her slit.

He didn’t tease her long, quickly pushing a finger inside of her. Hannah keened and bucked as he added a second, curling his fingers just right. She gasped his name, kissed his jaw. Her hand slipped into his trousers, stroking his cock in time with his fingers. Pleasure coiled inside her, winding so tightly she could hardly breathe.

“Inside,” she gasped, squeezing him. “I want you…inside.”

Alec kissed her, hard and hot and hungry. “Oh yes.”

He scrambled off the bed and shucked his clothing as Hannah fished out a condom from the drawer. She wiggled out of her pajamas and then lay back to take in the sight of a naked Alec standing at the foot of her bed. He was lean, but still muscular. All male. Oh, Hannah wanted him, so badly it made her ache. Alec moved to take the condom from her, but she batted his hand away.

“I want to.”

She scooted towards the edge of the bed, her nimble fingers ripping the foil, and then pulled him close by his hips. She stroked his cock idly with her free hand, staring up at him. Alec traced his fingers along her cheek, down her jaw. With a wicked grin, Hannah took him into her mouth.

“Fuck,” he cried out. Hannah hummed and then released him, rolling the condom over his shaft. “Evil woman.”

He pressed forward, forcing her to lay back as he crawled over her. Hannah skated her hands over his chest, down his back, until she reached his bum. She squeezed, pulling him into the cradle of her thighs.

“Alec,” she whispered, tugging at his earlobe with her teeth. “Fuck me.”

He groaned and pulled back, lining himself up and pushing inside of her. They cried out together, taking a moment to savor their first joining. Hannah clenched around him, enjoying the way he filled and stretched her.

Alec began to thrust, slowly at first, allowing them time to find a rhythm. Hannah let her hands roam. She lifted her hips to meet his, urging him on. Alec grunted as his hips slapped against hers. He hooked his arm under her knee and Hannah keened as the new angle sent him that much deeper.

“Yes,” she gasped. “More.”

Hannah leaned up to kiss him, their tongues tangling as Alec’s hips stuttered. Hannah could tell he was losing control. He slipped a hand between them, rubbing tight circles around Hannah’s clit. She cried out, biting into his shoulder.

“Come Hannah, please,” Alec begged. She arched beneath him, an inferno blazing inside her. She gasped as the inferno engulfed her, white-hot pleasure flooding through her veins.

“Yes! Fuck! Alec!”

She shuddered beneath him. Alec shifted to his knees, lifting her hips and changing the angle again. Aftershocks skittered across Hannah’s skin. She watched through heavy lidded eye as Alec chased his own pleasure, his rhythm faltering the closer he got. He came with a shout, pressing his hips hard to hers. Hannah thought she’d never seen anything so sexy.

They collapsed on the mattress, still joined together. “That was bloody incredible.”

Hannah just hummed happily in response. They lay together until Alec softened and slipped from her. He disposed of the condom, then spooned up behind Hannah and pulled the covers over them.

“Feeling better?” Alec asked, his lips brushing the shell of her ear.

“Much,” Hannah said, reaching back to thread her fingers through his hair. “I’m sorry I was so paranoid. Don’t know what I was thinking.”

“Never second guess yerself, Hannah. I’m glad ye called me.”

[nirah10]

Posts regarding AIDS

After some of the recent discussions, my inbox suddenly got a lot of messages discussing HIV/AIDS, particularly the crisis in the 80′s. I decided to compile all the posts here rather than posting them all individually.

From Anon,

United states only statistics:

Since 1981, close to 779,000 people have died from AIDS in the US and approximately 15,929 people died in 2015 alone.

As of 2014, the number of new HIV cases in the US remained stable (not spiking or dropping) with approximately 50,000 Americans diagnosed each year.

Women made up 18% of new HIV infections in 2010, bringing the number of American females that are HIV-positive to 210,802.

Gay and bisexual men are the groups most severely affected by HIV in the US. They accounted for more than 62% of all new HIV infections in the US in 2014. Although this has dropped from 70 percent in 1998.

You don’t really think of HIV anymore, but 50 thousand new people still get it every year just in the U.S, and over sixty percent of that is gay men, with an even higher percentage amoung African American gay men. And 16 thousand people still die each year just in the US.

Just in the US, with medication and education about it.

In some countries, particularly African nations, the medication and treatment is not available and so, so, so many are still dying.

Thought I would mention these stats, as I saw Queer as Folk being mentioned, and that show is 20 years old, where so many young gay men were dying.

There was a period where gay communities were so isolated as people were not exactly sure how the disease was transmitted, only that is was highly common amount gay men. So because they didn’t know how you catch it, just that gay men were getting it more, the gay community had to fend for themselves for a while in the 1980’s. Got slightly better when dictors worked out how it was transmitted, but still a stigma.

Queer as Folk had characters dying from AIDS, it had characters living with HIV, ‘what’s your status’ was a pretty common question in the show, especially between new couples.

Shows don’t really talk about stuff like that anymore.

But gay men still get HIV at a higher rate, between 60 and 70 percent of new cases, and people still die every year. The medication doesn’t work for everyone.

I have a friend, he hasn’t even come out to his parents yet, but just found out he has HIV at age 19.

Asking about your HIV status is a pretty common part of dating in the gay scene, but the media doesn’t really cover it since Queer as Folk.

I guess it doesn’t really suit the sexless, family friendly gay men that television show, mainly because they don’t want to upset their conservative network bosses.

I get HIV tests every year. I use condoms everytime, but I had a friend who used condoms all the time and for it anyway, just takes a couple of slip ups.

So Jack was living in London in the 1970’s, 1980’s, 1990’s and early 2000’s. Was he aware of what was going on during that time period before it happened? Had the AIDS crisis and it’s impact on the time period and young gay men been taught in the 51st century? I’m guessing probably not.

Was Jack always safe during that time period?

Or would his body just burn the virus off if he same into contact with it? Would Jack have been able to passpit on even if he csught it?

Was Jack always safe with men? I know he wasn’t always safe with women, he got a lady pregnant.

Dear Anon,

Jack can’t get sick so I imagine that means that bacteria/viruses can’t survive in his body at all. Because of that, I suspect he doesn’t use condoms very often, especially because we know he has had children.

From Anon,

PSA: The importance of safe sex.

https://youtu.be/HvPaE6_hPTQ

I like the show Queer as Folk.

It didn’t shy away from hard subjects.

Michael (Brian’s best friend) falls in love with a man with HIV, and the show focuses on the difficulty of dating asna HIV positive man. Ben told Micheal on their first date, and Micheal was spooked away, but ended up asking Ben on another date later as he really liked him. Ben is the dude he married and had a foster kid with, the professor. Things aren’t always easy between a couple where one person is HIV positive, and the show handled the subject brilliantly. Glad Micheal dumped the boring jealous Doctor and ended up with the professor.

But a big problem amoung young gay men Justin’s age is the assumption that the crisis is over and that HIV won’t happen to them.

Justin is 18 here in 2000, while Brian is 30. So Brian lived through the AIDS crisis as a young gay man, while Justin hasn’t experienced it in the same way.

Do you think Brian’s reaction to Justin wanted Brian to fuck him without a condom was a little harsh?

Seeing they have been dating for over a year and Brian was clean and so wouldn’t have given Justin anything.

Do you think he was absuive towards Justin here? By calling him an idiot?

Or do you think it is understandable that Brian would take the issue a little more seriously because of the 11 years more experience he has had watching gay men die?

Is that an excuse to talk to someone like this though?

I DO NOT like Brian either.

I can’t believe Justin didn’t get sick of him until he was nearly 25. Seven crazy years.

While not liking how Brian handled this, I do think it is important. I finished high school in 2016, and even today you don’t really get anything about safe sex amoung men. It was all about teen pregnancy at my school.

Dear Anon,

I never think it’s okay when couples call each other names like that. It was a very serious and important point that he had to make, but it could have been done without calling him that. A lot of people call their partners names sometimes though so I guess everyone is different.

From nololmaybe,

https://www.gaystarnews.com/article/queer-as-folks-russell-t-davies-penning-new-gay-drama-about-uk-aids-crisis/#gs.tJFW9f4

Russell T Davis has a new show coming up, not released until next year I think, early 2019.

Big fan of RTD. Anyone else keen for this project?

From Anon,

First new article ever on AIDS;

https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/was-first-major-news-article-hivaids-180963913/

Doctors, researchers and newspapers didn’t even have a name for it at first. It was referred to as a ‘gay cancer.’

It was called the gay cancer, even by medical professionals, as at the time they had no other term for it. The symptoms presented a bit like cancer, and gay men were the ones mostly getting it, so that is how the gay cancer name came about.

A huge problem within the 80’s is that it wasn’t known how it was caught.

Straight people didn’t even want to shake the hands of gay men, because they weren’t sure how it was spread.

Doctors were scared and many refused to work with the patients.

And while this was happening, more and more young gay men were getting it, as they didn’t know it came from unprotected sex.

My mum was a nurse in the 1980’s, and they were overrun with AIDS patient, some they had to put on the floor as therw were not enough beds.  but she was telling me that it was only her and one other nurse handling them all, as the other nurses were terrified of going near the men, as they didn’t want to catch it.

Lesbians played a HUGE part in supporting the gay men in their community at the time. Because so many people were terrifying of catching it, sick gay men often had no where to go. Lesbian groups opened shelters, prepared meals, and tended and nursed the dying men.

The support of gay women during that time isn’t often touched on, but it was there.

Have you ever seen the movie Philadelphia with Tom Hanks?

https://youtu.be/cl4B9AU45P4

Or Holding the Man?

My two favourite movies that deal with the HIV crisis.

From Anon,

https://www.google.com.au/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/society/commentisfree/2016/apr/20/a-generation-of-artists-were-wiped-out-by-aids-and-we-barely-talk-about-it-robert-mapplethorpe

A generation of artists were wiped out by Aids and we barely talk about it

A new film about the photographer Robert Mapplethorpe is a shocking and brilliant reminder of the devastation HIV and Aids wreaked – and still does.

There are many shocking images in the brilliant new documentary Robert Mapplethorpe: Look at the Pictures, made by Fenton Bailey and Randy Barbato. You probably know many of them already. Some are just seared into our culture and no longer disturb anyone. The cover of Horses with Patti Smith was as much of a statement as her music. His celebrity pics of Eurotrash and rich collectors, or actual celebs such as Debbie Harry and Bianca whispering in Mick Jagger’s ear remain fascinating. Their beauty blasted by his light into timelessness; his naked flowers, the sex organs of plants in all their glory. As he said himself, he could perfect a bowl of carnations just as well as “a fist up someone’s ass”. Then there was the documentation of his S&M activities and his fetishisation of the black body – so many of these images remain, to use the word du jour, “problematic”. Good. His life was an artwork. He would pick up guys, do drugs, have sex and then get down to work. He would photograph them.

When you see these pictures, you wonder why – with sexual imagery everywhere all the time – these pictures linger, hanging somewhere in a dark part of the collective memory. You keep looking because he kept seeing.

In this film, we have Mapplethorpe in his own words, not the rose-tinted memories that Smith gave us in Just Kids. He is openly a man of sociopathic ambition who wants sex, fame and money, and would use anyone to get them. That countercultural drive echoed what was going on in the 1980s so much that it would become indistinguishable from mainstream culture. When people talk about the end of the New York scene, that’s what they mean.

Just as he got what he wanted, he got sick. This “ruined Cupid”, this beautiful man, we see skeletal with Aids giving his final party.

“Whether it’s an orgy or a cocktail party I know how to do it.” He certainly did. It’s hard to see this vain man visibly dying. But he made his death part of his art. His 1988 self-portrait with a skull caneremains a masterpiece. I feel sorry for those who say photography is not an art. Bowie used his death in his final work too. No hiding away.

But what the film also brings home is the erasure of history – the fact that all those deaths from Aids have been somehow glossed over. Gay people can get married. Everything is lovely now!

Yet there was a time when you could walk around London or New York and see these gaunt faces, marked with sarcomas, and everyone you hung out with was dying. The official culture was in denial. Sometimes it was easier to be. I remember seeing Derek Jarman at a play. At that point he was blind. I didn’t want to see him like that. And then my friend was queer-bashed on the way home. Freddie Mercury died. Keith Haring died. Eazy- E from NWA died. Denholm Elliott died. Rock Hudson died. Fela Kuti died. And my uncle who wasn’t famous or even my actual uncle died. One of my friends lost seven people who were all under 30.

I was explaining this to my 25-year-old daughter. She understood what happened, but said, “I just can’t imagine it”. And somehow nor can I, but we lived through it. HIV, we say, is now no longer a death sentence. But, of course, it is in many parts of the world. South Africa has a 19% HIV rate. Russian is only just starting to admit the scale of its problem with an estimate of 1.5 million people with HIV. Neither homosexuality nor addiction can be spoken about in Putin’s Russia.

Mapplethorpe’s work was censored by US senator Jesse Helms who, like many Republicans, saw Aids as a punishment for homosexuality. Nancy and Ronald Reagan pretty much signed up to this line. Republicans banned needle exchanges. The Catholic church banned condoms. Mapplethorpe’s work is shot through the lens of his Catholic upbringing, the black mass and rituals of S&M – his composition, his invocation of the devil not as a metaphor, but as a living presence.

He was but one of a generation of artists, activists and athletes wiped out by Aids. Why don’t we speak about this anymore? Is it ancient history? Not for me, as it propelled a politics of queer solidarity arising from horrific circumstances.

The debate about safe spaces came to mind watching this film. Mapplethorpe’s entire oeuvre was a trigger warning. A bullwhip up his rectum, a penis lit like Mona Lisa. He died at 42.

When Paul O’Grady was asked in the Guardianabout the death of his friend Cilla Black, he said: “I’ve lost about everybody I know.” He talked about Aids wiping out all his friends, and about having to pretend to some of their families that they were dying of cancer as he nursed them. “People my age will never get over the horrors.”

Antiretrovirals may make us think it has all gone away. It hasn’t. Aids is killing people all over the world. The living death mask of Mapplethorpe disturbed me more than any pictures of fisting. Because I thought of all those we lost, and how we don’t really want to remember any more. Mapplethorpe’s unblinking need to document his life, his sex, his magic and his death reminded me why we must never forget. The battle is not won.

…..

https://www.google.com.au/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/society/commentisfree/2016/apr/20/a-generation-of-artists-were-wiped-out-by-aids-and-we-barely-talk-about-it-robert-mapplethorpe

This article raises some good points. Sex between males is still the most common way to get HIV-  it is easier to get from just one contact that other forms of sex, such as vaginal sex. So gay men are at a higher risk.

HIV amoung gay men is a huge problem in counties where being gay is illegal, including Russia and many countries in Africa- since sex between men is illegal and people still do it, education about safe sex is often not available and the resources and tests aren’t carried out like in the west, therefore allowing the secret spread between men at a much higher rate, as no one is keeping an eye on it.

My Uncle lost eight of his close friends, all young men and is boyfriend to AIDS within two years, before he himself passed away after battling with it for four years.

Even in 2017, when I came out as gay, my father was terrified. Not because of homophobia, but because he had watched his brother lose his partner, his friends and then had to watch his own brother die in front of him. My dad became a Doctor after losing his brother to AIDS and spent years and years working with HIV patients, seeing them lose friends and lovers to the disease for years and years. My dad in the year since I came out (I’m 17) has made sure to stress that the crisis isn��t over, he still sees young men coming in with the virus- often from very religious backgrounds, from chruch schools and home schooling who were denied any media about HIV and who aren’t taught about gay health issues. Families often shelter their kids away from this stuff, and it is still a problem. I have a crazy amount of condoms from my dad, and have had so, so, so many lectures about safe sex and about making sure my gay friends and boyfriends are safe as well. We talk about sex and safety SO much more than we did before I came out. I don’t think it is homophobia, my dad is just terrified of losing me like he did his brother. He also saw his brother because he died care for and mourn the loss of his boyfriend, and doesn’t want me to have to go through any of that pain.

Gay men are at more risk of HIV, and I don’t think it helps anyone to cover that up. Some people think it is homophobic to focus on gay youth and HIV, more than straight youth and HIV, but I don’t think it is homophobic, it is just scientific, we are most likely to come into contact with it, and are more likely to get it as it is transferred much easier though anal sex that other forms of sex.

Some people don’t like to mention gay and AIDS in the same sentence, as they don’t want to offend the gay community by associating us with HIV. But I don’t think it is offensive. So many gay men have died from the virus z and that impact on the queer community shouldn’t be washed away or forgotten because it doesn’t suit a polite 21st century conversation.

From Anon,

Michael Penn watched his loved ones drop like flies during the 1980s at a time when homophobia and misunderstanding were rife.

https://www.google.com.au/amp/s/www.independent.co.uk/life-style/love-sex/aids-crisis-1980-eighties-remember-gay-man-hiv-positive-funerals-partners-disease-michael-penn-a7511671.html%3famp

When Michael Penn’s partner Brian Davis began rapidly losing weight in the mid-1980s, a friend of the couple suggested he ought to visit a doctor to check he didn’t have that mysterious killer virus. It’s probably nothing, but it’s better to be safe than sorry, they thought. Five months later, Brian was dead.

Before Brian passed away, he and Michael’s calendar was filling up with more funerals than normal for two men in their late thirties. In the space of half a decade, 20 of Michael’s friends died.

“Back in the day it was very worrying. I had many friends dropping like flies,” Michael, a retired east Londoner who now lives in Woodbridge, Suffolk, recalls to The Independent. “My partner and I lost friends and no one knew why the so many people were dying.”

When doctors diagnosed Brian with AIDs, a test confirmed that Michael was also HIV positive. Now 75, and one of the longest surviving people in the UK with HIV, Michael is a spokesperson for the Terrence Higgins Trust charity to raise awareness about the condition.

But in the 1980s, the virus was little understood. Scientists were yet to pin-point why swathes of otherwise healthy people were dying from rare conditions. Misinformation and homophobia were rife. AIDs was labelled the “gay plague”, suggesting that it was spread among men who had sex with men (MSM). For a period of six months in 1982, the condition was mistakenly labelled “Gay Related Immune Deficiency”. In total, 35 million people have died of AIDs worldwide since the 1980s, including millions in Africa.

“One chap we knew very into taking poppers. He died of a lung infection and doctors said it was caused by his overuse of poppers. That was in the early 1980s.” In hindsight, the lung infection was likely triggered by AIDs, says Michael.

I watched him deteriorate  from a big strapping lad to a skeleton. - Penn

Michael believes that his partner, who was the assistant director of the British Diabetic Association, his that he was ill because he feared he would die.

“Brian and I got a suspicious that he had something wrong but he was scared to do something about it. I think he knew it was going to be a death sentence. We didn’t talk about it.”

As HIV can take several years to show symptoms, Michael’s blood counts were normal, and he was apprehensive about taking AZT – the first drug created to tread the virus. But Michael was convinced during a visit to Washington State.

“I was on holiday in US and I saw a doctor in Washington State for a sore throat. I told him I was HIV positive but that I was confused about taking AZT. He told me ‘my wife had a blood transfusion tainted with HIV and she’s lying in a hospital bed dying with AIDs. Take full advantage of what you can get’.”

Looking back, Michael recalls how the LGBT community pulled together during what was a terrifying time.

“I think the gay community changed the way they behaved in terms of sleeping around and practising safe sex. The club scene in London was pretty wild. It was a brilliant time.“

But Michael found little empathy from those outside of the community.

“People were ignorant. There was nothing known about the disease. No one knew how to treat it. The ordinary man in the street was very suspicious if he knew you were gay.”

“I remember after Brian died I went to local pub and the publican in my hearing said to someone ‘don’t let anyone drink out of that glass’. I was furious.”

However, attitudes are still blinkered. More recently, a member of his local community was spreading a rumour that Michael had AIDS, rather than treatable HIV.

In fact, doctors recently told him he is healthier than most other men his age. To control the virus, Michael take two tablets a day. "As long as you get tested and get the right treatment you carry on living like I have,” he stresses. "HIV is no longer a death sentence.“      

…

Often both people in the relationship would test positive and would get sick together, sometimes dying together in the spam in a couple of weeks, or sometimes years. The straight community were scared away and often their was not enough help, many couoles, both dying, often only had each other for support and help. I read a case about a man nursing his lover in his sickness, only to then die himself a month later.

Was Jack active with men during this period? He would have witnessed it first hand if he was.

From Anna,

Sally’s story about her Uncle had been break down in tears.

Thank you for sharing his story Sally, it is important to keep these stories alive.

I have a personal story of a good frien of mine, who was the god father of my three kids.

Researchers think that HIV and AIDs was probably around in the 60’s and 70’s, because the virus can lie in your body for years and years before killing you, you can have it for five years and not know. In the 1980’s, it was very common for couples to both have HIV, often with no idea who gave who what.

The first recorded AIDS victim died in 1981, but we think it had been around for a lot longer than that and that people were dying before than. It wasn’t until 1893 that AIDS was really on the radar.

If you’ve been together for years, even if you are faithful, one of you could have it before than and not even know it and pass it on.

Guilt was a massive thing, seeing the person you love dying in front of you and thinking you might have given it to them.

I had a very good friend who had HIV, who watched his long term partner die from it. My friend, Josh, after his boyfriend died, became obessed with finding out where it had come from, driven by guilt, he and Matt had been together for five years before Matt died, and had been faithful, so they were both shocked when they both tested positive.

Wanting to ignore his own HIV, and caught up in the grief and pain of losing the love of his life, tracing it became his obsession.

He eventually traced it back to an ex he had from seven years ago, before he was with Matt.  His Ex had died in 1980, before the first official AIDS death. At the time it has been disgnosed as an unknown disease he picked up overseas, doctors looking back said it was almost certainly a early AIDS victum, although some have been found even eairler- deaths even in the late 1970’s from unknown illnesses. It didn’t break out into a extreme amount of bodies until the 1980’d though, it couldn’t be ignored anymore.

This ex had passed away, and Josh was sure he got it from this ex, as Matt had only had a couple of boyfriend before Josh and Matt had tracked down them all and they were fine.

Josh was horrified that he passed it to Matt, he was sure it must have happened that way. He became convinced he must have. And he hated that Matt died without knowing, he wanted Matt to know, to be able to blame Josh, he thought Matt should have known. Josh blamed himself.

He loved Matt so much and believed if Matt never met him he would have been fine. We all tried to help and comfort him, but the guilt was destroying him.

Josh killed himself. I don’t know how long he would have lived with the HIV, unlike Matt, it hadn’t turned into AIDS yet. He could still be alive today. I think about the ‘what ifs all the time.’ even after it has been so long.

But he couldn’t live with himself thinking he was the reason his partner died.

Losing Matt, and then seeing how much Josh missed him and how he blames himself was one of the worst years of my life, i remember calling Josh the morning he hanged himself and knowing something was wrong when he didn’t pick up. I thought I was being paranoid. His mum rang me that night to tell me. It was beyond awful, I felt like I had been hit with a truck..

As a mother with adult children, i never, ever want my kids to have to go through something like that.

I was so heartbroken for Josh. He and Matt got together in the early 80’s, before AIDS and HIV were the agrred upon term, before they knew who the disease was transferred. It wasn’t Josh’s fault, he and Matt has no idea. Seeing him carry that guilt of feeling like he killed the man he loved was what I remember most from that time.

Seeing Sally’s story about her Uncle made me cry for an hour, it just brought back so many memories.

They were both so young, just babies themselves.

I think it is postive to talk about it though.

I think you are much younger than me, I’m guessing you can’t remember muchnof the paranoia and crisis from the 1990’s? It was pretty bad.

That is where a lot of those horrible 'God Hates Fags’ people come from. I loathe them so much.

Sorry if I have overhshared, Sally’s story just really moved me.

Dear Anna,

I’m so sorry that you went through such a terrible loss :( I was born in 1990 and we were extremely isolated/sheltered as kids, so I had no idea that AIDS was such a huge problem. I’m still catching up on my history. Thank you so much for sharing your story <3

From W,

https://www.google.com.au/amp/s/www.hivplusmag.com/opinion/guest-voices/2014/02/19/listen-hiv-still-gay-disease%3famp

So this article says it is ‘nor politically correct.’

I always get worried when I see people proudly say they not politically correct, normally that line comes from racists.

I remember the outrage over the billboards mentuoned in this story, a LGTB+ group uni student campus group campaigned to have them taken down and they were.

Do you think this article is homophobic? They are kinda calling our the modern LGTB+ groups aren’t they?

Dear W,

I don’t think I would call this homophobic. I think it’s the kind of thing that could hurt feelings and it’s definitely a controversial topic, but I wouldn’t say it’s homophobic. The author wasn’t suggesting that being gay was bad in any way, but simply pointing out that HIV/AIDS is disproportionately found in the gay community and that pretending it’s not isn’t helping anyone. It’s definitely controversial and debatable (a debate that I definitely don’t know enough to participate in) and I’m sure it offended many people, but that’s not the same thing as being homophobic.

From Anon,

http://www.h2rc.org/news-and-events/2017/6/13/losing-a-father-and-husband-to-aids-and-finding-him-again

So in 1990 this woman’s husband died of AIDS.

She was in shock. How could that happen?

Turns out her husband had been gay and sleeping with men on the side.

She herself took a HIV test, but was negative (even when you sexually active with someone with HIV, while it is still very risky, the chances of catching HIV from vaginal sex are much, much lower than from anal sex.)

Extract from article;

‘My second child was born two days after Father’s Day in 1990. Three weeks later, my husband collapsed, disoriented and feverish, in a restaurant. Soon, he was lying in a hospital bed with full-blown AIDS.

It’s hard for people who weren’t around then to imagine what AIDS used to look like. It was an epidemic that turned young men old; murdered beauty and promise. You knew someone at work who wouldn’t feel well, you wouldn’t see him for a few days, you would never see him again.

AIDS made men ghosts.

Before he got sick, John was an attentive lover to me, a doting dad to our 2-year-old, a gracious son-in-law to my aging parents and a successful journalist. He was home for dinner every night like clockwork. He was someone it was hard to believe could get AIDS.

In the months before our son was born, John had been experiencing a string of nagging illnesses, including intestinal distress and a persistent cough. The many doctors he consulted, because he was “straight,” married and overworked, did not even consider AIDS. They diagnosed stress.

After John’s AIDS diagnosis, I was rushed in for my own test. It remains the scariest thing I’ve ever done. Back then, it could mean a death sentence.

I asked him how he happened to contract a disease largely transmitted through gay sex. He told me he’d slept with men, which, at the time, surprised me. It was the beginning of a world falling apart.

My AIDS test came back negative: The kids and I had been spared. But nine months later, John died, leaving me asking, “What just happened?”

He left me crying out for him in the night. He left me with many painfully unresolved feelings and unanswered questions. John also left me with two small children, and I was determined to raise them free from the stigma of AIDS.

I resolved that I had to keep how he died a secret. No one could know. We never talked about him. I stashed away all his pictures. When the kids were old enough, I shared the truth with them, and emphasized why they couldn’t talk about it — or their father.’

So she didn’t catch HIV from her gay husband (possible but vaginal transmission is no way neat as high) I bet other women did catch it from their husband’s on the downlow, as lots of men were still in the closest back then.

This would have hurt a lot of people, 1990 was still homophobic so I doubt this was the only guy who was married and sleeping with men on the side.

I think it would have been very scary for this woman. She just had a baby, so that means if she did have HIV, her baby could have it too, at a time where HIV was a death sentence for a lot of people. She didn’t have it though.

I bet other wives and children died from gay men being in the closest, I think that is where a lot of the anger came from, and when the babies and women started dying, that is when people acted.

Do you think men like John are more selfish than straight men who cheat on their wives? Because they risk killing them? This was in 1990! AIDS had been around for ten years at this point and people knew how it was transmitted.

I’m really sad this guy was closeted, but by 1990 they knew how HIV was transmitted right? His wife said they were still having sex!

This is more selfish than other cheating right? She was negative, but she and the baby could have been infected.

Dear Anon,

I think anyone who cheats is being selfish for putting their partners at risk. Yes, there was a crisis during that time that may have made it riskier for gay men to spread it, but that definitely does not mean that straight men men or women haven’t also always been at risk. Cheating is awful for a lot of reasons, but putting someone’s health at risk is probably the worst. Every cheater, gay or straight, regardless of the year or of what’s going around, is just as selfish as any other for willingly putting someone they’re supposed to love at that kind of risk..

[alamante]

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Russell Crowe displays his portly belly and bushy beard, a far cry from his former self as he attends the photocall for ‘Il Gladiator Live in Concert’ in Rome, Italy. 

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johnny-galecki

Matthew Perry

Matthew Perry is looking very different from his “Friends” days. The actor stepped out looking heavier with noticeably grayer hair at LAX. Click here for more pictures of the “Odd Couple” star from X17online.com.

(X17/Reuters)

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Catherine Bach

She gave the ultra mini cut-off denim shorts their name: Daisy Dukes. As the brunette hottie from “Dukes of Hazzard,” Catherine Bach graced TV sets nationwide in her red bathing suit and plaid rolled up shirts. The actress was recently spotted with her daughter Sophia and it seems she has long retired her skimpy wardrobe. She’ll always be Daisy Duke to us!

(AP/Splash News)

catherine-bach

Anne Heche

Anne Heche looked a lot older than her 47 years when she was caught by paparazzi looking disheveled (right). The actress was sporting a strange, choppy haircut and no makeup. She looked a lot better on the red carpet in 2012 (left). Click here for more star sightings.

(Reuters/Splash)

anne-heche

Josh Brolin

The typically dapper Josh Brolin has really let himself go! The actor shared a picture of himself with fiance Katheryn Boyd (right) after visiting New Mexico. He looks years younger just one year ago (left). Click here for more pics of the star on Hollywoodlife.com.

(Reuters/Instagram)

josh-brolin

Tori Spelling

Tori Spelling is not looking good. She stepped out (left) with greasy, disheveled hair after being hit with a tax lien. She looked a lot better in 2006 (right). Spelling has hit hard times this past decade — her husband and the father of her 4 children Dean McDermott cheated on her, she’s gone broke and owes the government a lot of money in unpaid taxes. See Spelling’s shocking transformation here.

(Blink-News/Reuters)

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Demi Moore

(AKM-GSI)

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Maria Shriver

It seems the past few years have taken a toll of Maria Shriver. She looks a bit scary in these recent photos. Click here for more from X17.

(X17/AP)

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Josh Radnor

Josh Radnor isn’t looking his best these days. The former “How I Met Your Mother” star looked clean-shaven and happy in 2014 (right) but recently stepped out looking like a mess. It’s unclear whether Radnor’s new look is for a movie or TV role. Click here for more must-see star sightings.

(Reuters/Getty)

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Kurt Russel

Kurt Russel is looking shabbier than usual. The actor stepped out at LAX (left) with a full beard and messy hair. We prefer the actor clean-shaven and in a suit.

(X17/Reuters)

kurt-russel

Kristin Davis

The “Sex and the City” star stepped out looking less than her usual self. Davis donned a frumpy shirt and sweater and her hair looked like she just rolled out of bed. She looked happier (right) a year ago. Click here for more pictures of Davis on X17online.com.

(X17/Reuters)

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David Letterman

David Letterman channeled Santa Claus as he arrived at his New York City apartment. The former late night talk show host is clearly taking his retirement beard to the next level. He’s not the only star who has been looking disheveled these days: You’ll never guess what Johnny Depp looks like now.

(AP/Startraks)

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Randy Quaid

Randy Quaid arrived at his Immigration and Refugee Board hearing in Montreal Oct. 8, 2015 sporting a full beard and disheveled, long hair. The actor said in an interview that he could be deported from Canada next week and that he would like to resolve his legal issues in California and “move on with my life.” The actor and his Canadian wife fled the U.S. in 2010, saying they were victims of persecution.

(AP)

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Johnny Depp

Johnny Depp looked considerably older when he stepped out in Italy at the 72nd Venice Film Festival. It might just be the fake teeth, but the actor appears to have packed on a few pounds and is dangerously close to losing his heartthrob status.

(Reuters)

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Liam Neeson

(Reuters/Getty)

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Taryn Manning

Taryn Manning looked rough after leaving dinner with friends. The “Orange is the New Black” star definitely needs a makeover and some sleep. Click here for more pictures of the actress on X17online.com.

(X17/Reuters)

taryn-manning

Leonardo Dicaprio

Leonardo DiCaprio went almost undetected in NYC’s Soho neighborhood. The star looked disheveled with an unruly beard and his long hair pulled up into a bun. If DiCaprio was trying to fly under the radar, he nearly succeeded. MORE: One star, two looks.

(Reuters/Splash)

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Rosanna Arquette

Rosanna Arquette stepped out for dinner with friends (left) looking a little less than her usual put-together self. Click here for more pics of the “Desperately Seeking Susan” star from X17online.com.

(X17/Reuters)

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Goldie Hawn

Goldie Hawn looked worse for wear (left) while visiting the Seaspice restaurant on the Miami River with a friend. The actress sported a bright orange Sarong styled as a dress over a bathing suit on her girls day out. Kate Hudson’s mama, pictured right in 2001, has definitely seen better days.

(Carlos Herrera Movil/AP)

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Eminem: Now

Eminem looked well past his 42-years at an event in New York City. The rapper, whose real name is Marshall Bruce Mathers, has openly admitted to drug and alcohol abuse in his past. Click here for more pictures of the rapper.

(Getty)

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Eminem: Then

A much younger looking Eminem speaks to the crowd after winning Best International Artist during the Brit Awards at the Earls Court arena in London February 26, 2001.

(Reuters)

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Mel Gibson: Then

Before he was accused of being “abusive” and “racist,” Gibson was the cute new guy on the scene, starring in “Mad Max” (1979) and “Lethal Weapon” (1987).

(AP)

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mel-gibson:-then

Mel Gibson: Now

(X17online.com)

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Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger: Then

Alec Baldwin and Kim Bassinger resembled Ken and Barbie during their marriage, which lasted from 1993-2002.

Only one of them still does.

  (Reuters)

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Alec Baldwin: Now

Alec loses. 

Of course he has a newborn daughter with his second wife, yoga instructor Hilaria Thomas, so he has a very good excuse, as infants put 10 years on a person the same way a camera adds 10 pounds.

(X17online)

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Kim Basinger: Now-ish

This photo is from 2009, but she hasn’t changedm uch since it was taken, the same way she hasn’t changed much since she was in “9 1/2 Weeks” over 20 years ago.

Yes, that’s how old you are.

(Reuters)

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Ryan O’Neal: Now

The actor (left), pictured with his son Redmond (right), has had a stressful few years. 

In 2001, he battled leukemia, and in 2009, he lost long-time partner, Farrah Fawcett, to cancer. 

The actor has also reportedly struggled with drugs, and in 2008, he was busted for drug possession.

All that stuff sure does take a toll. 

For more pics of Ryan, go to x17online.com.

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Ryan O’Neal: Then

The young actor starred in “Love Story” in 1970 and was considered for the role of “Rocky” in 1976. 

He and long-time girlfriend Farrah Fawcett were quite the hot couple all through the ’80s.

(AP)

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ryan-o’neal:-then

Catherine O’Hara: Then

The former “Home Alone” star was still looking great in this 2007 shot. 

(Reuters)

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Catherine O’Hara: Now

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Kathleen Turner: Then

The “Romancing the Stone” star was gorgeous and lusted after by men everywhere in the ’80s.

Although she graced such magazine covers as Playboy, she said didn’t see herself as a sex symbol. 

“I don’t think I ever thought of myself in that way,” she said. “As a healthy, good-looking American woman, yes, but not as a sexual icon, no.”

Um, did she not see herself in “Body Heat”?

(Playboy)

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Kathleen Turner: Now

After a strong start to her career in the ’80s and ’90s, Turner’s career stalled. 

“Looking back on my life now, it’s been a bumpy road,” the recovering alcoholic has said. “I’ve had personal tragedies, rocky relationships, out-of-control drinking, snarky critics and woman-hating film bosses to contend with.”

Join the club sister!

(AP)

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Edward Furlong: Then

Remember how cute Edward Furlong was back in the ’90s?

Click through to see what he looks like these days. 

Warning: It’s not so pretty.

(AP)

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Edward Furlong: Now

The actor (born in 1977) has long since passed his prime. His good looks and once rock-solid career are a thing of the past. 

For more pics of Edward, go to x17online.com.

(X17online.com)

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Laura Flynn Boyle: Now

(Mandatory Credit: FayesVision/WENN.com)

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Laura Flynn Boyle: Then

Laura looks stunning in this 2001 photos, showing off her toned body and a seemingly perfect makeup. 

(Reuters)

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Ethan Hawke: Now

The actor has fallen a long way since starring on 1994’s “Reality Bites.”

Check out what he looked like when Uma Thurman first nabbed him in the late ’90s.

For more pics of Ethan, go to x17online.com.

(X17online.com)

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Ethan Hawke with Uma Thurman: Then

Ethan and Uma were the late ’90s version of Brangelina.

(Reuters)

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James Spader: Now

It’s almost impossible to believe that James was once an ’80s heartthrob.

Check out what he looked like in “Pretty in Pink.” 

(Reuters)

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James Spader: Then

He played rich boy Steff McKee in the 1986 hit “Pretty in Pink.” Steff was cool, suave and good-looking – not quite the James Spader we know today.

(Paramount Pictures)

  james-spader:-then

Janice Dickinson: Now

Janice Dickinson Now

These days, the name Janice Dickinson is synonymous with “hot mess.” It’s hard to believe the 57-year-old was once a super successful model. 

For more pics of Janice, go to x17online.com.

(X17online.com)

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Janice Dickinson: Then

Janice Dickinson

A young Janice was earning nearly four-times what her model peers made in a day back in the ’70s. Her exotic look was a favorite for magazines like Vogue in 1978.

  janice-dickinson:-then

Matt Damon: Then & Now

Matt Damon Then & Now

People’s 2008 pick for “Sexiest Man Alive” is all of a sudden looking very old. Chalk another one up to Father Time.

(x17online.com/Reuters)

  matt-damon:-then-&-now

Richard Dean Anderson: Then

Who didn’t have a crush on “MacGyver” in the ’80s? 

The dreamy actor could deactivate a bomb and take down a dozen bad guys with matches and floss. 

(ABC)

  richard-dean-anderson:-then

MacGyver: Now

Unfortunately, while his skills with common household items may have stood the test of time, not much else did.

For more pics of Richard, go to x17online.com.

(X17online.com)

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Vince Vaughn: Now

Vaughn is just as money as he was way back when he hit the scene in the indie comedy “Swingers,” but he has also packed on the pounds. 

Which can happen when you have money. The irony.

See more pics of Vince at x17Online.com.

  vince-vaughn:-now

Vince Vaughn: Then

Vince Vaughn: Then

Vince was once so pretty he graced the covers of men’s fashion magazines. Now, he’d look more at home on men’s bass fishing magazines. 

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

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Brooke Mueller: Then

Charlie Sheen’s ex-wife and baby-mama, Brooke Mueller, was a cutie pie when Charlie first met her in 2008.

(AP)

  (Dan Krauss 2011)

brooke-mueller:-then

Brooke Mueller: Now

The mom-of-two has seemed lost since splitting from Charlie in 2010. 

Hopefully she finds her way soon.

For more pics of Brooke, go to x17online.com.

(X17online.com)

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Kevin Federline: Then

kevin-federline:-then

Kevin Federline: Now

It looks like Kevin turned to food after his marriage to Britney fizzled. 

In an attempt to control his ever-growing waistline, the former dancer joined the cast of “Celebrity Fit Club” in early 2010. When the show started he tipped the scale at a whopping 240-lbs. 

Unfortunately, it seems as though the diet ended as soon as the show did.

For more pics of Kevin, go to x17online.com.

Follow FOX411.com on Twitter.

(AlphaX/X17online.com)

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Warren Beatty: Now

Warren Beatty: Now

Alas, times do change, and now his face is so wrinkly he looks like he could be in the Rolling Stones. Lucky for him he snagged wife Annette Bening before he was too done in, and retired from the single life just in the nick of time.

  warren-beatty:-now

Warren Beatty: Then

Warren Beatty: Then

In the book “Star: How Warren Beatty Seduced America,” Peter Biskind estimated Beatty slept with almost 13,000 women.

No, really.

warren-beatty:-then

Matt Lauer: Then

Matt Lauer    

The newscaster was bright-eyed and good looking when he first joined the “Today” Show in 1997.

And look at all that hair!

(AP)

matt-lauer:-then

Matt Lauer: Now

Matt Lauer Now    

Okay, Matt. It looks like you have surrounded yourself with yes men who are unable to bring themselves to tell you this truism: To look good with a shaved head, one must have a well shaped noggin.

Your head is shaped like a football. Keep more grass on top!

(AP)

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Erik Estrada: Now

Erik Estrada Now

At 62, Erik Estrada, isn’t able to sport a tight CHiPs uniform anymore.

Indeed, few are.

For more pics of Erik, go to x17online.com.

(X17online.com)

erik-estrada:-now

Erik Estrada: Then

Erik Estrada Then

The Puerto Rican actor got his start in the ’70s in movies like “The Cross and the Switchblade” (1970) and “Airport” (1975). 

Then he became a TV heartthrob as Ponch in the cop drama “CHiPS” for five years, until 1983.

(Turner Home Ent.)

  erik-estrada:-then

Axl: Now

Betcha can’t even tell who this is.

It’s Guns N’ Roses front man Axl Rose at a concert on Monday night.

Oh my.

Click through to see other folks who started out much better than they look now.

(Reuters)

axl:-now

Axl: Then

In the late ’80s he had women throwing their undergarments on stage and dated supermodel Stephanie Seymour.

The ’80s were so awesome.

(AP)

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Jared Leto: Then

The star of “My So-Called Life” was on dozens of teen magazine covers in the ’90s. Who could resist those baby blue eyes?

(Reuters)

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Jared Leto: Now

The “30 Seconds to Mars” singer is more concerned with being a rock star than a heartthrob these days.

It shows.

For more pics of Jared, go to x17online.com

(X17online.com)

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John Travolta: Then

John Travolta Then

The “Grease” (1978) star hasn’t exactly maintained his looks the way co-star Olivia Newton-John has. She’s still a looker!

(AP)

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John Travolta: Now

John Travolta

The 57-year-old doesn’t look so good without a full head of hair.

For more pics of John, go to x17online.com.

(X17online.com)

john-travolta:-now

Cher: Then

Cher Then

Sonny and Cher were super hot in the ’60s and ‘70s.

(AP)

  cher:-then

Cher: Now

Cher Now

For 65, Cher looks pretty darn good, but it’s still a far cry from how she used to look.

For more pics of Cher, go to x17online.com.

(BigPictures/X17online.com)

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Brendan Fraser: Then

Brendan Fraser Then

In the days of “Encino Man” (1992) Brendan Fraser had a hot body and cute face.

(Hollywood Pictures)

brendan-fraser:-then

Brendan Fraser: Now

Brendan has since suffered from hair-loss and weight gain. 

Damn you male pattern baldness and Krispy Kreme!

For more pics of Brendan, go to x17online.com.

(X17online.com)

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Ray Liotta: Then

In 1990 Ray Liotta was all the rage as the star of “Goodfellas.” He was hot and a badass – a great combination in Hollywood.

(Warner Bros.)

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Ray Liotta: Now

The 56-year-old actor doesn’t quite have the swagger that he used to.

(AP)

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Chevy Chase: Now

Back in the 80s and early 90s, funnyman Chevy Chase definitely had a guy-next-door sexiness that complimented his hysterical personality.

These days however, we can only hope his sense of humor didn’t suffer the same fate as his appearance.

For more pics of Chevy, go to x17online.com.

(X17online.com)

chevy-chase:-now

Chevy Chase: Then

  The comedian kept himself in great shape when he was first starting out on “Saturday Night Live.”

(NBC)

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Anjelica Huston: Then

Beautiful model and actress Anjelica boasted one of Hollywood’s hottest actors, Jack Nicholson, as her main squeeze for years during their heyday. 

  anjelica-huston:-then

Anjelica Huston: Now

The 60-year-old actress is still most famous for her role in “The Addams Family” and there’s good reason for that.

(AP)

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Corey Feldman: Then

“The Goonies” star was a cute kid who became a national heartthrob in his teen years.

(Warner Bros.)

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Corey Feldman: Now

Growing up in the fast lane can wreak havoc on your body, and Corey knows that all too well.

The former star looks like he has seen better days.

For more pics of Corey, go to x17online.com.

(X17online.com)

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Belinda Carlisle: Then

The singer was still looking good a decade ago when she posed for the cover of Playboy in 2001.

(Playboy)

  belinda-carlisle:-then

Belinda Carlisle: Now

In 2009, the 52-year-old became a spokesperson for NutriSystem.

Apparently, dropping the weight takes time.

(Reuters)

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Brigitte Nielsen: Then

The Danish actress and model began her career in the 1980s with a role in the films “Red Sonja” and “Rocky IV.”

Dubbed “Amazon” by the press, her high profile romances with Sylvester Stallone and Mark Gastineau attracted as much attention as her good looks.

But a struggle with addiction and years of hard living weren’t the kindest to Nielsen.

(AP/Playboy)

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Brigitte Nielsen: Now

Brigitte Nielsen Now

Nielsen was back in the press in the 2000s, for not taking care of herself very well.

Nielsen became notorious for appearances on Vh1 reality shows like “The Surreal Life” and “Celebrity Rehab With Dr. Drew,” as well as a romance with rapper Flavor Flav.

Yes, rapper Flavor Flav.

(X17 Online)

Click here for more Brigitte photos from X17 Online.

(X17online.com)

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Keanu Reeves: Then

The “Speed” actor won over audiences with his chiseled body and clean cut military look in the early ’90s.

(20th Century Fox)

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(THIS COPYRIGHTED IMAGE MUST NOT BE USED WITHOUT PERMISSION)

keanu-reeves:-then

Keanu Reeves: Now

One would hope that this long shaggy ‘do and scruffy look has to do with a film role, but sadly it doesn’t. The 46-year-old just seems to be letting himself go.

(Reuters)

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Penny Marshall: Then

The “Laverne & Shirley” star (right) has been starring on TV shows since the late ’60s. 

As Laverne, the tough-talking tomboy, Penny was known for her poodle skirts and “L” monogrammed on almost everything she wore. 

(AP)

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penny-marshall:-then

Penny Marshall: Now

(X17online.com)

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Madonna: Then

She entertained the masses in the early ’80s with hits like “Holiday,” “Like a Virgin” and “Lucky Star.”

And although she didn’t have supermodel looks, the rebellious singer exuded confidence and sex appeal.

(Rolling Stone)

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  madonna:-then

Madonna: Now

For a while it appeared as though the 52-year-old mom of four would never get old, but recently it seems as if the clock is starting to catch up with her. 

She can still dance though.

For more pics of Madonna, go to x17online.com.

Follow FOX411.com on Twitter.

  (X17online.com)

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Faye Dunaway: Then

The blonde beauty received an Oscar nomination for her portrayal of a bad girl in “Bonnie and Clyde” in 1967.

(MGM)

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faye-dunaway:-then

Faye Dunaway: Now

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Val Kilmer: Then

val-kilmer:-then

Val Kilmer: Now

A face made for car radio? In 2008 the actor was the voice behind KITT in the “Knight Rider” television series.

For more pics of Val, go to x17online.com.

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val-kilmer:-now

Deborah Harry: Then

deborah-harry:-then

Deborah Harry: Now

The rock lifestyle is equally hard on women as it is on men. The 65-year-old still rocks out, but some fans wish she’d dress a little more age appropriately.

(Reuters)

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Brigitte Bardot: Then

The French model, singer, and actress inspired an entire generation with her teased blonde hair and signature black eyeliner. 

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brigitte-bardot:-then

Brigitte Bardot: Now

The 75-year-old is better known now for her racially charged comments than for her sexy photo shoots from years past. 

(AP)

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Vince Neil: Then

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Vince Neil: Now

A rocker’s lifestyle isn’t exactly easy living. All the partying has taken its toll on the 49-year-old’s looks, as you can tell from this mug shot taken in June, when Vince was arrested on suspicion of drunk driving.

(AP)

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vince-neil:-now

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