#and Miri is still too new to be thinking about that too hard

[butterflydm]

show changes to the One Power

So they've now officially made two changes to how the One Power works in the series and I like both of them.

1. last season, they made it clear that a circle doesn't prevent someone from burning out from using too much of the One Power. Fantastic change! Makes linking much more of an act of trust! Will make the idea of linking with a man who is potentially influenced by the corruption/madness of the Dark One's touch on saidin terrifying! Explains why Aes Sedai aren't in circles all the damn time in the latter parts of the series, once they know how much danger is around them. Creates drama and creates a reason for people to hesitate to link.

2. this season, they've shown that being able to sense a channeler (who is not currently embracing the source or using weaves) is a Talent with a capital T that only a few specific people have. Love this change as well and it has some fascinating potential knock-on effects.

a. This helps solve our numbers plotholes about why the Aes Sedai are having such a hard time getting new novices, but other cultures still have plenty of channelers -- if this is a relatively rare Talent, and there are currently no Aes Sedai who possess it (or maybe the only Aes Sedai who does is Black Ajah?), then that puts them at a significant disadvantage when trying to find new novices and waiting for women to spark on their own and come to the White Tower really is possibly the best they can do right now. And it can help explain why Egwene is able to find those women later on -- all she needs is one person with the Talent and she has an advantage there (they could even potentially make it Miri herself, if she is freed from the Seanchan this season).

b. It means that the Seanchan can be more effectively targeted in order to try to save women from them -- find out which damane have the Talent of sensing channelers and focusing on freeing (or killing) those specific damane. And it means that it makes more sense that no one has figured out the sul'dam secret, if this is a relatively rare Talent and the amount of intense 'training' that the damane undergo.

c. It explains how the Aiel can get every single potential channeler -- Wise Ones are explicitly allowed safe passage among all the clans, so you only need one Wise One with the Talent in order to spot every single potential candidate (similar with the Sea Folk, who also have big meet-ups).

d. It also shows us how much Moiraine was relying on wishful thinking in s1 -- when she separated Egwene out, it really was an act of hope/faith that the woman in the group would be able to channel and potentially be the Dragon Reborn.

e. It gives Logain a strong purpose for the Black Tower, so if Logain is our major Asha'man who has this Talent, then he's irreplaceable as a recruiter.

[lilyginnyblackv2]

Buddy Daddies - Episode 8.5 - Intermission - Cherry Pick - Thought Post - SPOILERS

I know, there isn’t much in the way of spoilers since this is a recap episode, but there are some interesting bits of the narration that I want to talk about and the spoiler warning is just out of habit.

As I thought, the narrative insight into Kazuki and Rei’s thoughts were nice, and the focus largely being on Kazuki’s POV makes sense, since he and Miri are the ones being targeted. The goal of this recap episode was likely for us to connect with the two even more and as a quick way to bring in new watchers or have them get caught up enough that they can watch along for Episode 9.

Now, for the parts that I found interesting. 

Kazuki’s Narration:

Kazuki saying, “But I think she sorta saw through me, too” when talking about Miri’s mother. Between Kazuki and Rei, Kazuki is the more communicative and expressive of the two, but he also wears a lot more masks than Rei does. Rei has been living with him for three years now, so he can read and see through those masks, but it is interesting that Miri’s mother was able to too. Especially after having only met him once here for a short time.

It really does make me think that she is able to read him so well because she was like him in the past. Her age (34 to his 28 at the time) also likely helped in this area and her job requires being able to read body language and other subtle signals from her clients well (for safety and other reasons).

“I started to get a real paternal feeling about her.” I like how this confirms that it is after Miri stars daycare that Kazuki really started to slip into the father role (Rei did to...in his own way, but we’ll get to that in a sec). In Episode 4 there was the realization that he is her father and then by Episode 6 he totally saw her as his kid. I do also like that line of narration, because it’s right at the start of the Episode 6 recap, where Kazuki utters the “our genes” line, lol.

Now, they skipped over Episode 5, and I think that is because Episode 5 didn’t have much in the way of them growing closer as a family. It was more focused on general work-balance management, getting their jobs back, and Kyutaro getting let in on the situation and Miri. 

“We’re supposed to be two dads and a kid,” that’s near the start of the Episode 7 recap narration. The Japanese doesn’t actually indicate “dads”, but rather just “parents” (親 - oya), and in one of the interviews on the official website, I believe the first interview, has the creators mentioning that Kazuki is the “mom” and Rei is the “dad.” So there is still a level of heteronormativity to how Kazuki and Rei are presented as parents, and specifically, as two dads. However, I do think the series has done a better job than I was expecting of not leaning too hard into those dynamics and mixing things up a bit. 

That’s nice.

“I always figured guys like us didn’t get a chance at normal happiness.” I feel this line and sentiment isn’t only about their hitmen line of work, but because they, themselves, didn’t have a “normal happiness.” They both had childhoods that were outside of the normal. I like how the series is presenting their family and their happiness as a “normal happiness” too. That’s important for the normalization of same-sex parents and families in the real world.

“But we made a family. A family I want to protect!” - The whole, “we made a family” line is so precious! <3 I love that! You did Kazuki! I also like how we get to hear Kazuki stating that he wants to protect his family. Of course, we already know that he would. They’ve shown us that that is something Kazuki would want and do, but hearing it still makes for a nice parallel to Rei’s “I’ve got something to protect too” line. 

And, speaking of Rei, his narration in this week’s episode was very short, but quite interesting too!

I’ll put Rei’s Narration thoughts under a Read More due to length:

Rei’s Narration:

“He couldn’t really take care of it, so things got pretty bad.” Rei here refers to Miri as “it.” Which makes sense for this point in the series for Rei. He didn’t have much, if any, attachment to Miri at the start.

This wording also makes Miri sound more like a pet, than an actual child. And, tbh, Kazuki kinda treated Miri more like a pet in Episode 2, both in the scene with the banana and when he leaves her a bunch of snacks and tries to sneak out. Rei even states at that time:

“It’s like a bribe or leaving a pet at home.” (Bold by me for emphasis).

Kazuki was the one that told Rei in Episode 1 that he couldn’t have a cat and talked about all the responsibilities, and kinda going for a “if you can’t care for the pet perfectly, then you shouldn’t have one” perspective.

But in Rei’s narrative here, we can see that he thought Kazuki wasn’t doing a very good job with caring for Miri, lol. I feel Kazuki tends to eat his own words a lot. It kinda highlights how he has a lot of idealistic outlooks, but reality usually ends up kicking him in the butt a bit.

Also, it’s amusing how, when Rei is saying “things got pretty bad” it’s just moments of Miri like jumping on him or playing with his face, lmao.

In Rei’s narration he says, “I don’t get kids at all.” But he is the one that tends to be able to explain things the easiest to Miri and has a lot in common with Miri. Kazuki even points this out a bit in his narration when he states that he felt it was more “a dad and two kids” instead of “two dads and a kid.”

I think what Rei probably doesn’t understand or get about kids, and Miri, is the innocence that she has. Like with her definition of what a dad is to her. That was something he never got to experience, so it would be hard for him to really understand and get that at first.

“I don’t get Miri, but I might as well look after her a little while longer.” He still refers to her as Miri. That highlights how Rei has never referred to Miri as his or their child/daughter...yet. I hope we hear him do that at some point though. That will be a major bit of development, and would be the final “gap” in their relationship that still needs to be closed.

Finally, let’s talk about this sequence in the Episode 8 recap:

His father says to Rei, “It seems you’ve formed pointless ties.” As Rei looks serious, but also a bit angry and upset, worried even, with his eyebrows furrowed. Then, Rei makes a little shocked face and gasps.

We get flashes of Miri:

Telling him what her version of a father is.

And the moment where he said he was her papa and she jumped into his arms. This was said as Rei’s father states: “Bad influences are common enough in our business.” Thus linking that sentence and sentiment with a mere child like Miri.

It also works as a great foil moment between the type of father Miri told him about and his own, and the type of father he wants to be to her. The cool part though, is that that sequence of flashbacks isn’t in Episode 8. They put it together that way for this recap. Then they left in the “Leave Kazuki out of this” line, making it so that everything is perfectly clear in meaning when he says, “I have something to protect, too” to his mentor. 

In the end, while I would have preferred if there had been a scene or two that was new and tied this recap more directly to the events of Episode 8 and had some actual advancement, it wasn’t the worst recap episode ever either. I’ve experienced way worse. The narrations and other small things, like the episodes, scenes, and moments that they cherry picked for this recap, and how they put them together, still resulted in me writing an essay. So good job, Buddy Daddies! lol

[mischievouslittlecreature]

OC Interview

Thank you for the tags, @evita-shelby, @justrainandcoffee, @peakyswritings, and @moral-terpitude! 🖤

Doing this for Lucy from my Love Me Where I'm Most Ruined series! I'm also answering these for up to where I have posted the series (just finished season 3) to avoid spoilers for the next couple parts.

Are you named after anyone?

No. My dad originally wanted to name me Josephine--some sort of Bible thing, I think--but my mum somehow managed to thankfully talk him into compromising and making that my middle name. She'd had her heart set on Lucy for if she ever had a daughter from the time she was a teenager.

When was the last time you cried?

Where we found out Charlie was safe from Hughes.

Do you have any kids?

Erm, well, it's complicated. None biologically. But we've--that is, me, Tommy, and Grace--all always considered Charlie to be just as mine as he is theirs, so technically, yes; one.

Do you use sarcasm a lot?

When the occasion calls for it.

What is the first thing you notice about people?

Hm. Probably their face. Especially the eyes. You can tell a lot about a person just by looking into their eyes for a few moments.

What is your eye color?

Dark green.

Any special talents?

I like wood whittling. Just these little figurines, you know. It's something to keep my hands busy while I think. They're nothing special, but Tommy always insists on displaying them around the house. And I've always been able to pick up new languages really fast.

Scary movies or happy endings?

Both! It just depends on what mood I'm in.

Where were you born?

Harborne, in Birmingham. In the little house that my parents owned before we moved to London when I was a teenager. My mum insisted on having my aunt Miri there to help her. Apparently just about tore my dad's head off when he suggested otherwise.

Do you have any pets?

I do! I have the horses that I co-own with Tommy: Sin, Wraith, and Mystery. We're talking about getting another soon. And we have our dog, Asher. He's a big black german shepherd who was trained as guard dog. Really he's a big softy, unless you were to try to hurt us, of course.

How tall are you?

4'10''

What was your favorite subject in school?

It's so hard to chose just one! I liked English a lot, and foreign languages courses. I really enjoyed some of the art classes, too, even thought I was a bit rubbish at some of them. I always had fun painting and designing things.

What is your dream job?

I would love be able to work more with horses. After my brother...died after he came back from the war, I'd had this idea in my head for awhile about using horses to help veterans from the war. Like equestrian therapy. I would still love to do something with that, at some point.

No Pressure Tags: @shelbydelrey, @cillmequick, @confidentandgood, @scaryscarecrows, @cassieuncaged

@lunarubra , @runnning-outof-time , @zablife , @call-sign-shark

[mrsbsmooth]

20 questions for fic writers

Thanks for the tag @rebelrayne! @longbobmckenzie tagged me in the body of hers too so I’ll take it.

How many works do you have on ao3?

82 right now, but I’ve orphaned a few recently

What’s your total ao3 word count?

1,220,982. I’ve got about another 30-40k words in WIP documents right now, so almost one-amd-a-quarter million words 😨

What fandoms do you write for?

Love Island the Game, Too Hot to Handle game, Harry Potter (Dramione exclusive), Romance Club (Heaven’s Secret)

Top five fics by Kudos

Tell Me What You Want (HP)

This Time, I’m Serious

Jaded

Unhealthy

Kinktober 2022

TIL that my Harry Potter fic has overtaken TTIS even though TTIS has more hits.

Do you respond to comments?

Yes! There were a few on TTIS I missed that it would be awkward to reply to because it was so long ago, but I make a point of trying to reply to every comment.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

The only sad ending I’ve ever written was the first chapter of Jaded which was originally done as a oneshot.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably Welcome To Racers. They got the whole shebang. Love me a happily ever after.

Do you get hate on fics?

Not recently. I’ve had hate for my portrayals of Alex, Lucas, and Suresh. But I haven’t had any nasty anon comments in ages which is lovely.

Do you write smut?

Yeah it's kinda my thing.

Craziest crossover:

I don’t know if I’ve done many crossovers… maybe Bruno and Miri Make a Porno or All I Want for Christmas is You which is a hetero take on Red White and Royal blue?

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of!

Have you ever had a fic translated?

No but I think I would probably die of happiness.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I HAVE! All’s Fair in Casa Amor was written with my beautiful friends @i-boop-you and @crimswnred !!!!!!

All time favourite ship?

Dramione (new fave) but for LITG? Hard question because our fandom is so built around an MC. But with two canon characters? I secretly love a Bruno/Valentina. Also love Hope/Lucas. They just WORK.

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

It’s gotta be Recovery. I have the whole thing planned in my head but I just have no motivation to write it at all. Other than that, I don’t see myself finishing Famous Last Words any time soon. If I was going to finish it I’d take it down and rewrite it to make it fully OF.

What are your writing strengths?

Smut probably, I’m not bad at it. I feel like my narrative pacing is alright, and my prose is decent despite it being really inconsistent.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I rely too much on dialogue. I miss all the little body language bits leading up to an important line that could take it from an ‘aww that’s sad’ to a ‘holy fuck I’m sobbing’. Luckily I have wonderful beta’s who help me with this.

But more than anything, characterisation. Forming a fully fleshed out character before I start the story. I struggle with it. I’ve always felt like I’m more of a storyteller, (a plot person) more than a deep dive into a character’s psyche kind of person. I love reading character driven stories though, but I think it’s something that comes with writing experience. I haven’t actually been writing for that long and I think I’m getting better at it, but it’s still a weak point.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I sometimes forget that people don’t like this. I LOVE it. I do try and use it sparingly though. It’s so nice to see a character conversing with someone in their native language. I try and put the English dialogue in brackets or italics unless it's rather clear what they're saying (like swearing).

First fandom you wrote in?

LITG

Favourite fic you've written?

I, like Sarah, absolutely hate this question. My fics are my children. I like some of them more than others, though (I never claimed to be the world's best mother). But I love them for different reasons.

I love Welcome to Racers because it was my first AU. I loved The Only Two Things because I got to create an entire world, an entire city for my characters (Yes I'm aware Waterford, Ireland is a real place but God, I loved that story so much). TT,IS was the first fic I started and it gave me the friends I have today and the amount of people who tell me it's S4 canon just makes my whole life. Jaded was something different. It was a challenge to myself and I'm so proud of it. Unhealthy has been the most difficult to write, but it's also pushed me the hardest in my development of characters. FLW has been so much fun because I get to dive back into my music roots, urghhhhhh. Love.

I don't care if it's narcissistic. I re-read my fics on a regular basis. They're perfectly tailored to my taste. I love doing a nice re-read and sprinkling in a few extra details with liberal use of the edit button. If there was someone who knew my fics as well as I did, they'd get something a little bit different on every read. Might just be a line or two, might be a thought or a reaction, but I love to add and tweak and tinker with them all.

Love.

tagging: @i-boop-you @crimswnred @ellegreenwxy @tammyisobsessedwith @operationnope @sparxaf @eskiix

[amourkive]

CLOSE | JHS

a/n: okay I haven't written angst in a long time, and I wouldn't call this angst just...sad with a happy ending, I mean kinda? you'll see what I mean but, my angst writing is defrosting rn :/ mention of death btw oki. stay gold ⁷ -miri

masterlist

/ᐠ• ㅅ •ᐟ\

You had just gotten off the phone with your mother, with devastating news. You knew it was coming up to that point in life, but you had wished you had more time. Losing a family member, especially your parental figure hit a lot harder than you expected.

It took a lot for you to not fall apart on the phone with your mother. You promised to stop by to talk about things, and what the next step was. Then she asked about Hoseok and you had completely forgotten about him.

So now you sat in yours and Hoseok's shared apartment, just overworking your brain over every single thought that you had conducted in your head. You were so caught up in your head, that you hadn't heard the door open or shut close.

"Hey baby, practice was hell today." Hoseok muttered, walking over to you, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head, running his fingers through your hair. You focused back into reality, standing up, legs moving like jelly as you turned to face him.

"Hobi..." you started, not really knowing how to even bring up such news. He smiled, not seeing your face as he was busy trying to take off the layers of clothes he had. "yes? I'm sorry honey - I'm just really sweat-" "Hobi, my father passed."

The silence was quick to invade, as you watched Hoseok drop a piece of clothing. Without a beat, he was quick to be by your side, holding you in his embrace.

"What? Wh-I'm so sorry for your loss, baby." He muttered against your skull, holding you close, wishing he could take everything you're feeling away. You couldn't do anything but just melt into his embrace, letting yourself let go of the heartbreak you've been feeling since the phonecall.

Even though it was your father, Hoseok had obviously become very close with your parents. Visiting them when he had the chance, with and without you. His and your parents holding date nights together when they were free. Your father was like a second father to Hoseok, and how his heart was feeling from hearing the news, he couldn't imagine how you were feeling.

"Hobi" holding onto him tighter, your chest shuddered as another sob left your lips. You can feel his shaky hands rub your head and back, comforting as best he could. "I know, I know...let it out baby" was all he said, and it made it all that much easier to express your sadness.

It's been a month since then, and it's been a couple weeks since you guys held the funeral for your father. As much as you didn't like it, it was well needed. A closure you didn't think you wanted, but instead needed at the end of it all.

Hoseok watched you as you layed on the couch, picking at your nails. You didn't do much these days, not finding the motivation to do so. It was even hard to just sit and not do anything because then you'd just think a little too much.

But having Hoseok. Amazing, empathetic, Hopeful Hoseok by your side helped a lot. When days got particularly hard, he never pushed. Never got impatient, never tried to quicken your grieving process, gave you space when you asked, invaded your space when you needed.

You knew it was hard on him too. Differently, but still the same in cases. So when he found you crying behind the couch because you wished you could make things easier on him, he just cooed, picking you up from the floor, right into your bedroom, cuddling with you under the duvet.

"you're so cute you know that? Don't worry about me, 'kay? I'm okay, you just....you just focus on you right now, baby. I'll make things easier for you. you can rely on me for now."

You looked at him for a moment before grabbing hold of his face, smiling for what seemed like the first time in a while, "Thank you, hobi...you don't understand how much you've done for me, I appreciate it so much. Especially right now. Thank you for making it easier to wake up, and just function."

He couldn't help but reciprocate your smile. "of course, baby..." he muttered, pulling you closer to him, hand tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, "future's gonna be okay." with a small kiss to your forehead, you both fell into a comfortable silence.

A silence where your thoughts were finally quiet.

[agnesmontague]

Buddy Daddies Joint Interview with Uchiyama Kouki and Toyonaga Toshiyuki [Extracts]

Link to interview

THIS IS NOT THE FULL INTERVIEW TRANSLATION!! I have only done some snippets that I found interesting, or shed some light on what's to come:

Looking back on Buddy Daddies now, what did you think of its first developments?

Toyonaga: From the hardboiled action sequence of the first episode, the second episode develops into more of a sitcom. This tone change really intrigued me, and I think everyone watching it went "What's gonna happen now?"

Uchiyama: It started with a scene where they're executing a mission as assassins, and this backdrop as well as the whole assassin conceit is a hook unique to this show. I thought there would be various types of drama unfolding from that, which would take up a part of the show; but as Toyonaga said, the sitcom elements became way more pronounced as the story unfolded, which left quite an impression on me.

How do you feel about Kazuki and Rei's buddy relationship?

Uchiyama: The story is predicated on the "buddy" thing, but since Miri joined the two so early, the real impression is more of a "trio", right. The two of them getting wrapped up in Miri's pace, really.

Toyonaga: Kazuki and Rei both have heavy baggage and trauma from their pasts, and didn't have a normal puberty or experiences regular children get to have while growing up. The story of the two of them pulled hither and thither by Miri is certainly new and strange for them but makes for easy drama, too. Often I found myself thinking "yeah, this is how it would go." In that way, the three of them have a delicate balance going on. And, speaking as the actor here, I'm playing [Kazuki] in quite an aggressive way, so I fear that Uchiyama is having a hard time of it.... Rei needs to be played as an opposite to Kazuki, so I'm always like "Sorry, Ucchi...." [laughs]

Uchiyama: No, no, it's not like that! [laughs] I actually had fun with Rei getting thrown around like that. There's a lot of variation in the story and each episode varies significantly in tone so even as a cast member I've quite enjoyed it behind the scenes too. From the POV of the viewer, it really seems they're being kept on the edge of their seat.

Buddy Daddies is entering its home stretch. What will be the highlights?

Toyonaga: In Episode 7, we saw the appearance of Karin, the sister of Kazuki's late wife, and in Episode 8, we met Rei's father...

Uchiyama: We saw a bit of each of their pasts.

Toyonaga: After that, in Episode 9, Rei and Kazuki's thoughts on Miri have finally lined up. However, from Episode 10 onwards, it becomes more clear that there are things they shouldn't overlook in favor of all this "affection". What will they actually do with Miri? A hitman named Ryo Ogino, who's been frequenting Kyu-chan (Kyutaro Kugi)'s shop, gets involved. In the real world of assassins, what will happen to Miri, a girl living a cheerful and wholesome life despite her pitiful circumstances? We're finally going to reach that point in the story.

So how would the story threads tie together in the end.... did you think.

Toyonaga: When I think of what will happen to Miri, there's still the matter of people who are related to her by blood. That relationship, I feel, is key.

Uchiyama: In that sense, the final few episodes do seem to take on a more serious bent. I do wonder what viewers will think of it, and I think even those hardcore plot elements are drawn out in the typical Buddy Daddies style. If this were an anime of a different tone, maybe those elements would have been narrated from another facet.

And as for the conclusion, did the two of you find it surprising at all?

Uchiyama: I really was wondering how they would end it, and I could not predict it at all until I read the final episode's script.

Toyonaga: But with an ending like this, you'd naturally end up thinking about what Director Asai wanted to say with this piece.

Uchiyama: Personally I was quite surprised.

Toyonaga: I really am curious how viewers will react to the ending. For example, even though it is an animation, some more realistic-minded viewers might be tempted to comment "In real life, it would go more like this..." To those people, I want to say... not "reality is stranger than fiction", necessarily, but "isn't this actually real life?" I think the ending really poses the question of whether you can accept it or not.

Uchiyama: In terms of the entire story, if I were only to think about the "pseudo-family" aspect of Kazuki, Rei, and Miri's relationship, it could actually get kind of dark. It was new for me as well, to see it portrayed this way through the medium of animation, and to be able to capture it from this angle.

Toyonaga: In any case, we think it would come as a surprise to viewers. Also, I hope you enjoy each episode to the end.

[mugmegan]

Chainsaw Man is speedrunning social commentary I swear to fucking hell. Fujimoto is likely critisizing the crazies in japan but crazies are the same anywhere in the world that this chapter could be read as critisizm for my country too (and I certainly dont live in japan either).

Weird sexual relations for "the greater good", batshit insane conspiracies, irrational hatred of america ("its all america's evil plan" is a common scare tactic of many MANY conspiracy theorists. Its used in my country too. I swear I heard a theory similar to the one in the chapter once. I cannot count the number of times some crazy guys on the news unironically said that phrase too. Word. For. Word. Imagining America as an evil mastermind pulling strings is funny for me but its real for news hosts and paranoid conservatives lol)

Miri said they overthrew a cult but they just made a new one on top of it djfifhfkf

This chapter hit me hard for how goddamn real and relevant it was (even though the story takes place IN THE 90'S!), I still feel the annoyance from actually having to face and think about those issues irl.

[not-krys]

[Repost] Do Not Disturb - Miri

Part of this set of WIP Wednesdays

Been wanting to do something like this scene for a while. Did a sketch of it a while ago, but now I'm putting it in writing form!

Raw, unedited writing. Takes inspo from Lesson 30-1 of the OG game. Miri showing signs of illness is meant for foreshadowing for later lessons (her powers are starting to get a little too much for her to handle and this is about where it starts happening)

-----

"And that was how the Great Celestial War ended-!"

The library had grown suspiciously quiet. No quiet scratching of pens or page flipping. No whispered questions from Luke to Simeon, or even of Miri's foot that had been swinging and sliding on the rug previously. Satan lowered his textbook in his hand, only to be greeted by twin soft snores and Simeon's apologetic grin.

Satan sighed.

"Really?"

"It was a lot to take in for the two of them."

"It's all on the exam! How do they expect to-" Satan sighed again, giving up.

"They tried their best to keep up and that's the most important part." Simeon pointed to the pages of notes the other two had kept while listening to Satan's lecture. Luke's was relatively neat and organized, as was expected of the younger angel. And while her handwriting wasn't exactly neat, Satan smiled at spying some little doodles alongside Miri's notes, like a bunch of trees in the section about the Devildom's beginnings, and a three-legged crow in the margins. Simeon chuckled, catching Satan's attention.

"What? Did you think of something funny?"

"Hmm… how do I explain it?" Simeon looked skyward. "As I was listening to your lecture, I couldn't help thinking…"

"About what?"

"Our history is so violent and bloody. Yet now we're able to gather in peace and study it together like this… it really is amazing."

Simeon then looked fondly at Miri and Luke, both with their heads in the arms on the table, happily in their private dream lands.

"Did you ever imagine we would get to this point?"

Satan shook his head with a smile.

"Hmm… can't say I did, no."

He watched Miri more closely, seeing her breathe in and out gently. Her pink curls cascaded over her shoulders and on the table, reminding him of cotton candy. Satan also couldn't help but notice she was paler than usual, almost to a sickly quality. It was the first he'd seen of it. Had the stress of the exams been getting to her and he never noticed?

He did, however, notice that there was something in Miri's hair that wasn't there before and frowned.

"Hey," he said pointedly at Simeon, "what are you doing?" 

"What do you mean," Simeon said innocently, "I was just stroking her hair."

"Don't get so touchy-feely with her."

"Why?"

"Just.. don't, okay?"

"Why? Are you jealous?" Simeon smiled.

"It's nothing like that, but don't touch her."

"Ah, you're just being her protective big brother, then?"

"You're still touching her."

"Her hair is quite soft," Simeon teased, "You should try it once you get the chance."

Satan glared, wanting to pull the angel's hand off of Miri, but didn't want to disturb her rest.

"She… hasn't been feeling well lately, has she?" Simeon asked as Satan's eyes widened.

"How did you-?"

"She feels warm, more than normal." Simeon took off one of his gloves and touched two fingers against her forehead, then her cheek, then her throat.

"Is she sick?"

"Not exactly, at least not yet."

"Maybe the stress of the exams are getting to her? Like you said, it's a lot to take on if it's all new to you."

"Possibly."

Satan then remember when they had all went to the Carnival before the exams started. When Beel had been throwing his food temper tantrum and he, Lucifer, and the others had been drawn into the fight. Miri had looked upset (naturally, they were all being idiots at the time), the pact marks on her body started to glow, somehow escaping her notice. Next thing he knew, she was yelling at all of them to stop fighting and he landed on the ground, hard, unable to move a muscle. Painful groans from his brothers told him they suffered the same fate, five more bodies accompanying him on the floor.

He also remembered hearing a soft something hitting the floor, his eyes trailing to see Miri's new zombie iguana plush she had gotten at the carnival fallen from her grasp. Looking up further, he saw the look of horror on her face, both hands covering her mouth. The ghost waiters surrounded her, praising and applauding her happily, but she took no notice of it, only staring as the six of them laid pinned to the ground.

"Maybe… something else is affecting her?"

"Hm?"

"She's been scared to use the pacts ever since that fight at the Ghost Café. It was such a powerful force that none of us could escape from."

"I remember hearing about that. Solomon said the first time he tried commanding multiple demons at once, his body ached for a while afterwards."

"She didn't look like she was hurting after the fact." All of his brothers definitely were, he remembered that part clearly, but not Miri. "She was just really quiet, not really talking to any of us after the fact. Lucifer kept staring at her, too. It was weird."

"Hmm…" Simeon put his glove back on, lost in thought.

[taeyamayang]

HOME / CHARACTER DETAILS

♡ click "HOME" to see details of this otome-style interactive fiction

♡ poll is located below the chapter

♡ additional information/details are indicated below

taglist: @thechaosoflonging @alienvarmint @phoenix666stuff

a/n: i'd like to take this opportunity to thank miri, @shut-up-you-guys-are-12 , for being my beta reader! you signed yourself up for hell (aka my messy drafts) but i'm very grateful for the help. as selfish as it may sound, i am glad you're with me on this ♡ sooo readers *wiggles eyebrows* before you begin everybody say THANK YOU MIRI!!

anddd without further ado, let's go.

NEW BEGINNINGS

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It could be that you’re still half asleep that you’re seeing peculiar things, or perhaps drinking too much chocolate milk last night has caused you to derail your thoughts (does cocoa even affect cognitive thinking?) but whatever it may be, the relentless buzzing of your phone and friends tagging you on a video you’re all too familiar with is too hard to believe. Hence, with eyes wide akin to an owl and mouth gaping into an ‘o’ you declare to an empty room, 

“Holy shit! I'm famous!��

The effect of your newfound popularity has not worn off despite the long walk to the bus station. In fact, you feel elated as though the spotlight is on you, literally and figuratively. You can hear the compliments from strangers commending your talent, their eyes glimmering with astonishment, and rounds of claps as each user hit the like and share button. Holy fucking shit this must be what celebrities feel on a daily. It is such a huge boost to your frail ego and the more you think about it, the more it becomes surreal. 

And it doesn’t help when you see an old friend from a distance walking towards you and the bus station.

“Good morning.” He greets you first, and rather flatly. 

“Daichi,” you call, turning your head to him in the most dramatic way, fake flipping your hair in exaggerated swoop. “Do you want my autograph?” 

A light scowl plastered on his face and accompanied by a confused “Huh?” It is enough to make you snorts like an airhead, “Daichi, your dearest friend is a celebrity. I am internet famous.” As he stares at you his scowl deepens, eyes squinting as he reaches to the exposed skin on your arm to pinch.

“Ow! What d’ya do that for?!” you rub the sensitive skin as you shoot him a glare but he shrugs it off.

“To wake you up from the false reality you’re living in.”

“I am awake and I’m not making this up! I know what you’re thinking, Daichi Sawamura.” You pull out your phone as indignation takes over you. 

The bus arrives in the midst of you searching for the video on the social media platform. Consumed as you are by your phone, Dachi acts as the guide and eyes for the both of you. He places a hand on the small of your back and leads you inside the bus, scrolling through hundreds of notifications to fetch the said video. He guides you by saying “watch out for the stairs” when climbing up the entryway of the bus and “take the window seat” when he finds an empty booth for the both of you. Once settled in your seats, you shove the video at your friend’s face.

“Look. One hundred thousand likes for a video of me singing to a street musicians’ guitar ensemble. I wasn’t aware someone was taking a video until it found its way to me when my friends keep tagging me in it.” 

Daichi watches the video, taking your phone from your grasp as a grin gradually crept up his face. He listens to your voice intentlyㅡa sound he grew fond of over the years. In the video, when you reach the chorus of the song, Daichi could see you loosen up. It was evident that you were enjoying the music as your body unconsciously swayed to the soothing tune from the guitar ensemble. He sees the performer in you that you’re wary of showing. You belong to the stage and Daichi has always been your number one supporter. He felt the urge to tease you about the video, but the feeling of pride overrules it.

“You see, I was right all along. You do belong on stage. I’m very proud of you, (y/n).” It would've been much easier on your heart if Daichi teased you. You’re weak for him. You know that every compliment that comes out from him is laced with sincerity. Of all the people you know, Daichi is the only person who truly understands your struggles of being mute under the pressure of anxiety. The itch on your throat. The begging of your voice box to sing, but your mind telling you don't. You couldn’t perform under watchful gazes because you’re too afraid, too worried about mistakes. 

“Don’t look at me like that.” You turn to look at the window to blink away the tears beginning to pool on your lash line. Achievement is sweet but it tastes even better when you have someone close to you to celebrate it. You’re more than grateful to have your best friend with you. You sit in companionable silence for a couple of minutes until Daichi decides to break it. 

“Have you decided on an extracurricular?”

“I'm already a member of the Anthropological Society,” you murmur, holding your chin on your palm as you look through the window.

“You’re required to join your course’ club. (Y/n), you know what I mean.” Is we already back to sassy Daichi that makes you want to put him in a chokehold everytime he nags? God, it has only been a couple of minutes but you miss supportive Daichi.

When you turn to meet his eyes, you see exactly the face you had imagined; Eyelids are drawn downwards, lips pursed, and the tiny dent on his face, which you love to call a dimple forehead, appears between his eyebrows whenever he’s either in a deep thought or nagging you about something important (as he claims it to be) just like the situation at hand. 

It would have been easier if you excelled in a single field, and didn't end up mediocre in just about anything you tried. You aren’t like Daichi who, even in the early years of adolescence, showed great aptitude for swimming. He’s an athlete whom everyone expected to be part of the national team when he entered a University which he was able to pull off. Upon graduation from high school, coaches from different Universities across the country tried sweet-talking the oh-so-famous swimmer from Miyagi into a winning contract until he finally settled on Tokyo University.

“I don’t know, Dai. I haven’t given it much thought yet.” A heavy sigh rolls out from your parted lips. You rest your head on his shoulder as though the pressure has caught up to you. Daichi drops the topic and lets you off the hook. (Well, for now). 

Soon the bus comes to a halt and you’re tailing behind your best friend as you both make your way to the entrance of the University. Upon reaching the intersection which separates your college from his, you bid him a farewell.

“Hey! During lunch, let's eat together. Tell your fans I have you reserved.” He jokes as he waves at you. 

“All yours.” He chuckles when you shoot him with finger guns. 

Walking forward as you look over your shoulders and converse with someone backing away from you is not the best way to trudge through a crowded hallway. You’re reminded of that when you accidentally hit someone shoulder-to-shoulder. Well… not really. You aren’t sure if it's their shoulder because the next thing you see is a bowed head with dark strands falling at the side of his face making it difficult for you to see their face.

“Sorry, I wasn’t looking.” As an apology, you picked up a pen that had fallen from the books stacked in his arms. The boy is extremely jittery, shifting all books to one arm as his free hand pushes the black rim of his glasses back to the top of his nose. His shaky fingers rake his hair up clumsily whilst giving the fringe over his eye careful taps as if worried he’d ruin his hairstyleㅡquite an odd one if you would describe it.

“N-no, it’s, uh, fine. Yeah, it’s fine. No worries.” He stumbles in his words. He glances at you quickly, as if afraid that your eyes would burn holes through his skull and hurriedly shuffles his way in the opposite direction. He was quick on his feet and the next thing you know you’ve lost him in the sea of students in the morning rush. 

Meandering your way to your classroom with your mind clouded with endless possibilities of joining clubs or any extracurricular activity that will give color to your resume hinders you from noticing strangers, two of them to be exact, gawking at you. They’re leaning their back on the wall adjacent to the door of your room. 

The slightly taller boy nudged the other in an obvious (not to you) way when you walked past them, and said boy sadly does not know how to whisper. 

“Rintarou’s connections are on point! That’s them, right?” The other shushes him, warning him to tone down his voice. The loud one tilts his head to the side, confused. “But isn’t getting their attention the entire point of this?” 

He did have a point. 

“Why do I have to fucking do this-” The slightly shorter boy with style worth turning heads mutters under his breath. Not to mention the metal pierced through his right brow and the inked art behind and below the shell of his ear. He curses as he watches you place a bag down on one of the tables connected in an L-shape before helping yourself to a seat. 

“Because it’s your idea.” He buoyantly states matter of factly. His already-arched eyebrow shoots up at the same time drawing a corner of his lip. “It isn’t that hard when you come to think about it. You’ll just have to ask. Simple.”

“If it's that simple then why don’t you do it, Bo?” 

“We swore in front of the source of my musical prowess; the cymbal, the drumsticks, the empty mic stand, and the god of music. Whoever goes against their promise will be guaranteed bad luck on the next performances.” Bo paused to look at his friend in a rather dramatic and comical way. “Do you want that for yourself?” He speaks in a ominous tone as though it did the job.

“Whoever made that up is a total dumbass.” His spiteful remark earns a muttered “ouch” from Bo. 

After a moment or two, the taller finally drags out an impatient sigh. He declares, “Alright, I’ll help you out because it seems like a certain Miya has lost his edge.” 

Before the blonde could say anything else, he was already being pulled inside a classroom he has never set a foot in. His friend leads him to the person they have been eyeing since they arrived. 

As if your morning could get even weirder like the viral video from this morning, two dudes with a hand connected to the other’s wrist stand before you. They both didn't say anything when you turned to look at them but eventually, the boy holding the other in place clears his throat and flashes you a beam worth remembering. His intimidating auraㅡthe black streaks on his gelled up hair and the silver piercing adorning his lips coupled with a pair of bold brows and a pair of stunning round flaxen eyes exudes his amiableness. 

“Hi.” He begins, never letting go of his companion’s arm. “I am Bokuto Koutarou and my friend over here, Miya Atsumu, has something to say.” He nudges his friend using his elbow and whisper-shouts “There I made my intro. Now, your turn!”

“Shut it, Bo.” Atsumu wriggles his arm from Bokuto’s grip. His Adam's apple bobs as he displays an expression between unfeeling and constipated. He purses his lips. “This might sound sudden but we want you to sing.”

Baffled with his request, you look around the room before gazing at the blonde with a concerned face. “Like, right now?!”

“No, not now. We, uhm…damn it.” Atsumu sucks in the air, closing his eyes briefly as though to keep himself calm. After which, he continues. “Bokuto and I and the other two members of our band, The Labyrinths, found your viral video and I think your voice range and style fit our band’s style. So, we’re thinking maybe you would like to consider joining our band as a vocalist.”

Seeing your attention hooked on their offer, the rest of Atsumu’s nerves finally wear off, and the blonde continues explaining. “Try a song or two with our band. You can back out anytime but to tell you the truth…,” he rounds his shoulder, anchoring a hand on his hips. “...we don't usually recruit members this way. Consider yourself special.” 

You stare at Atsumu, and your clouded thoughts turn hazy. You don’t know how to respond to him. Do you want to give it a try or do you want to play it safe? Atsumu is well aware that you’re interested, (it's written all over your face) and decides to take his game up a notch, classic Miya style. 

“So,” Atsumu utters in a low tone, mouth stretching into a brazen smile. “Would you like to join us?”

well, well, well, it's time to decide! butt before we do that allow me to explain a few things. below is the love meter. as you can see there are white hearts next to the characters' names. one after the other, the white hearts will turn into red hearts if you made a choice that lead to developing a closer romatic tie with the character. so if you want y/n to end up with a character let's say, Daichi, the goal is to have 5 red hearts and it should be consistent over time.

LOVE METER:

♡ Sawamura Daichi: 🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍

♡ Atsumu Miya: 🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍

♡ Kuroo Tetsurou: 🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍

♡ Tsukishima Kei: 🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍

♡ ?: 🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍

now that's settled. here is the poll!

tumblr cannot handle a heavy post. it wouldnt let me include it here :(

[andnatiabrosca]

hey! from the new ask game, 6, 14, 27 for Nat and Mal (and/or anyone else you'd like)! :3

[[question source]]

6. What would they think of each other's combat skills/techniques?

Not directly about skills, but about classes: Nat is a little jealous of Mal being a sword-and-shield warrior. They have similar backgrounds and worked in similar positions in the Carta, but Nat always needed to be able to hide or scrounge up new weapons, and it's a lot harder to steal sword and shield than little daggers and knives.

Malachite's never been very fast or light on her feet, so she's pretty impressed with all of the rogue skills, especially stealth and whirlwind - style techniques. She thinks Nat spends too much time tight with opponents, though.

Nat doesn't think as highly of Malachite's skills, and also would be absolutely FURIOUS with Malachite for taking the Templar specialization. Malachite can just wade into the fray, holler, and let people wail on her, and complete what she needs to in the battle. That's not skill, Nat thinks.

(Actually, fun timing on this because I'm just learning that Mal should just waltz into the middle of a fight and take over. I'm so used to running Nat, who can't body all the damage from a dragon for 4+ minutes of a fight. Also, just took the Templar spec for Malachite, not because it's the best for her - I think that would have been Champion - but because she is terrified of the Breach and of Cassandra/The Inquisition, and is hoping by playing into the Chantry she might gain favor & power over the rifts.)

27. What would their fears on the graves in the fade during Here Lies the Abyss be?

I'm not certain why right now - might get to think & expand later but _ (also I don't remember how the graves were specifically marked. been a minute)

Nat: Devotion

Malachite: Irrelevance

(And Freebies:)

Mar: Hunger

Miri: Power

14. If they'd been in each other's places, would they have made the same or different choices? And who would they have romanced, if anyone?

This one is Hard. It's going to be Long and lots of Rambly Thoughts, so it's last. With the implementation of 'shorten long posts' I no longer really use read-mores unless for fics. Sorry if that's a bother.

Let's look at Malachite Cadash, Grey Warden and Hero of Fereldan. I'm going to assume the timelines are still the same, they just get picked up at different times (and I'm using my adjusted timeline for years, because that's the one they live in).

She's 19, brand painted on her face to run some work down in Orzammar, when she gets caught up by the guards and rescued - conscripted - by Duncan. The specifics don't really matter here. She's from the surface; she understands surface politics well enough, and she didn't have her family pushing her to join the Wardens. Maybe her family doesn't even know.

That's an entirely different scenario.

Even in her 30s, Malachite is much more fear-driven than Nat, and much less driven to save everyone. She won't be making decisions based on compassion. She'll make her decisions based on what will take the least time and have the greatest effect. She's a surfacer, and that will change her decisions as well.

Best guesses? She'd kill Connor, likely kill Zathrian, and maybe recruit Loghain - depending on how scared she was and how much she trusted Alistair's abilities.

I'm not sure who she would romance - she romances Josie because Josie gives her something outside of her own fear to pin onto (if we're looking only at the characters thematically). Maybe Leliana, to be honest. At 19, she would probably take the dream at face value, and be able to be swayed to Andrastianism and thus not clash with Leli like she does in Inquisition, when she is resolute in the Stone.

And what about Nat Brosca, Herald of Andraste and Inquisitor?

She's 33. Something changed in her life that she lived this long. She would never have gone topside without Rica, and I don't think she could have hung on even until Endrin was born. So, let's say Rica's sponsor falls through. Their position in the Carta is tenuous at best at the start of the origin; it dissolves as soon as Bhelen backs out. They run.

Nat's still wrapped up in the Carta; she doesn't know another way to live. She can end up at the Conclave as Cadash normally does - or as part of another mercenary group. She has very little family to care for, compared to her own life. We can say Rica has a kid, a family. Nat's missing her Gwina - who is her driving force at this point in her own timeline. If she never leaves Rica and the Carta, Nat never gets to grow. Also, if she never carries children she never fulfills her cultural understanding as "woman" and would probably actually be a "man" (or another dwarven gender - lore theory is in the works). I'm still gonna use she/her here for Nat.

So, we're looking at a person who is centered around duty, who believes she needs to try to save everyone, but has been shown over and over again that she is not capable of it. She's dangerous, angry, stubborn, and has just been handed the most powerful object and title in the world.

Where Malachite tempers her decisions, trusts people to make their own decisions, and is always trying to play both sides as Inquisitor, Nat goes full despot. That's really what it is. She wants to save everyone and now she can.

She certainly doesn't try to disband the Inquisition. She probably goes for Cass as Divine, because Cass seems the most controllable. I'd wager she banishes the Wardens, and destroys every other army she gets the chance to (in the middle of a DAI playthru right now and don't remember exactly what choices). Her choice between Mages and Templars would be decided by her reading of Cullen and Solas. I wouldn't expect her to have interacted with mages much, and she would lean towards the controlling aspect of the Templars, but would be swayable either way.

In romances, Nat looks for lifelines - reasons to stay alive - and connection. She won't broker any attempts or feelings of being converted. Once she starts to heal, she looks for people who challenge her and have her back.

What would Nat, burned and damaged and controlling look for? Fight.

She would never feel satisfied with someone who wouldn't fight back to her, even if she thought she wanted someone to submit to her will. She wouldn't be able to stand Solas because he doesn't understand the fight, as evidenced by banter with Varric. I think Blackwall would anger her, but she wouldn't know why. Sera wouldn't be able to fight the way Nat wants, but would get herself punched in the face with a badly-timed prank.

I hesitate to say Nat would romance anyone, actually. The only options I could really see (of companions + advisors) would be hardened!Leliana or Iron Bull. She and Bull wouldn't be romantic, but they'd have good fun. Nat and Leliana would be crossing paths at their most destructive, but most compatible. It would be explosive but somewhat successful.

[starrxl]

NAHHH THAT NEW EP OF BUDDY DADDIES IS CRAZY

I love how it shows that rei can’t tell his dad about his family at home and he will protect kazuki from him because we saw what they will do to “attachments” later AND THAT FIGHT how rei is like “ I care about someone too” I feel like it shows how although he dosent say SAY it he does truly love his family at home his partner who helped him out of a hard part of his life and although it was different to him in the begging he felt cared for so he didn’t try and stop it and his daughter Miri who shows him to appreciate the little things in life and I feel like he has this side that he wants to raise her as best he can, but that FUCKING LAST SCENE NAHHHH I can see rei going full serial killer on that man if he even TRIES going for his family it’s gonna be like

Kazuki putting groceries away: this guy was following us idk if he’s still around here but I think someone has it in for us so be careful out there

Rei playing games with Miri: what did he look like? I’ll keep an eye out don’t worry

Kazuki: ummm tall white male he has a large forehead with short slicked back black hair got a casual suit on I would say

Rei Pauses the game loading guns and sharpening his knifes: oh! Okay I’ll deal with it dont worry I’ll be gone for a little bit :)

Kazuki terrified: o-okay

PLEASE I CANT WAIT TILL NEXT FRIDAY I NEED THE NEXT EP NOW OR A TRAILER GOD PLEASE

[lilyginnyblackv2]

Misaki Unasaka - Old Habits Dying Hard - BD - E10 - SPOILERS

I like Misaki as a character. I like the complexity of her character, and I’m glad to see that the reason they had her come back for Miri was because of a truly life altering situation like cancer. 

I don’t wish ill on her (I saw a tweet over on Twitter that was basically saying they hoped the cancer killed her). She hit rock bottom, or hit the end of the sea, as the name Unasaka can mean. The kanji for sea also has the kanji of “regret” making up a part of it:

And I do think that we are seeing Misaki expressing regret here. Addicts, people stuck in abusive relationships, and other such situations, often don’t realize how bad things have gotten until they are at their absolute worst. That’s what’s happened to Misaki here. She’s trying for a fresh start:

A hair cut, new set of clothes, and wanting Miri back in her life.

I do think that she’s coming from a good intentioned place, and for wanting what’s best for Miri. But, some things are still feeling off, but not in a “she’s evil and wants to ruin them” kinda way, more in a “I don’t know if Misaki will be able to break out of bad habits that will end up harming her, her relationship with Miri, and Miri.”

When Kazuki met Misaki, she was at the end of her rope and most definitely burned out. Now, Misaki has had a year without Miri, so seeing Miri again and interacting with her can be viewed as easier, especially since she seems to want to try and due right by Miri this time. But she still seems to be floating, she mentions living with her parents, but then Rei brings up the Christmas show coming up at the daycare, so she states she’ll rent an apartment.

She lost her job and “her man,” but hasn’t stated what her new source of income is yet. And while she seemed comfortable enough in the kitchen, and Miri is nothing but smiles at seeing her Mama again, the way she interacts with Miri feels more like a visitor than a mother:

There is a distance there, which could be explained by the one year absence, but not quite. I lived in Japan for six years. I was an adult at the time, but my family experienced a lot of changes at that time. But when I came home for good, it felt like no time had passed at all. 

With Misaki, it feels more like a friend of the parents dropping by with the way Miri introduced everything to her. I do like how Misaki’s mother asked Miri her thoughts on who she wanted to live with:

It’s important. She may be young, but her thoughts and feelings on the matter aren’t pointless or useless. That being said, the way Misaki asked it seemed a bit competitive in a way. Or, a better way to say this, is that she might feel a bit inferior here. They were likely able to provide for Miri in a way that she couldn’t. Both her and Kazuki are butting heads here, since they are both trying to fulfill a similar “mother” based role, and both feel a bit threatened in a way. Rei just doesn’t fit into that role, which is why he is able to mediate between the two of them.

As the end of the episode stands, it seems like Miri is going to go off and live with Misaki. That’s what Kazuki and Rei think, that that Ferris wheel ride was the last time they would be with her. And while that could end up being the case, the series is an anime original, so none of us know what will happen yet...A part of me just don’t think that will end up being the case.

Both Kazuki and Rei have shown that they can grow and change, especially if its for Miri’s sake. They talk a lot about that in the Ferris wheel, and we (the audience) have seen this. But with Misaki, we don’t know yet. We hear her talking about change, we see her physically changing her appearance, but the moment that stands out to me is this one:

She was reaching for a cig even though she has throat cancer! She likely got that cancer because of smoking, and yet, here she is - smoking still. Rei used to smoke too, but once Miri came into the picture, and after he really started to bond with her and care about her, we haven’t seen him smoking, even at Kyu’s cafe. I think the last time he smoked was back in Episode 4 or something. It’s been ages.

He broke a habit and changed for Miri.

Will Misaki be able to do the same? Or do old habits die hard for her? 

I don’t know how, exactly, they are going to chose to wrap this situation up fully. Will they have Misaki pass away due to the cancer, and then have Miri going back to Kazuki and Rei in the end (or would she end up with her grandparents then, since they still seem to be in the picture)? Will Misaki realize that maybe motherhood really is just something that isn’t for her in the end and allow Miri to return to Kazuki and Rei? Or will they go for a “blended family” type of situation?

I don’t know. They could go in a totally different direction as well. We’ll just have to wait and see, which is a scary prospect, I know, but I’m extremely intrigued by the direction they might take things.

[royalreef]

She huffs again, a great animal exhale of breath and noise that belies her frustration, the motion making her chin bob closer to her throat and her eyes to flutter. It's not something done at Liam's expense, that much is clear, but it does speak to the situation at hand, which is that Miranda is not surprised. Hardly even angry, really, for all the literal hot air she was giving. More akin to as if she had been carrying a drink, and she had spilled it, and it was something bitter and cloying or sweet and sticky that meant she was going to have to wash her palms again, something that made sense.

"I dropped it," she says, sheepishness catching up to her only afterwards, a child who had just admitted she was playing rough with her toys, "but I thought it was fine! I did not see any cracks at the time, and I heard something break but..."

But either an internal break finally showed through with the minor pressure of her hand around it, or the internal sphincter had pulled on a broken part and made it worse, or... Or maybe she really had just missed it. That seemed the most likely. Miranda hadn't really looked too closely, and her eyes were bad, and she was a little distracted, and really, it had seemed just fine.

Still the phone moved within itself, blood spilling out through the broken glass. Miranda sat it down now, seeing no use to continue holding it. One of her serfs leaned forward to dab at the blood on the floor and on her clothes, but she'd really just need to change so that they could be washed. Mostly it was just on the sleeves, so not a total loss, but still a frustration.

Light caught on the shattered fixtures, highlighting the tender bright-red meat of something moving inside, attached to the glass and metal chassis surrounding it. It moved in brief spurts, like a dying animal, slowing down with exhaustion between them, even as it didn't seem to be doing any good for itself. It looked like a shellfish, like something pulled out of a tidepool, with the sharp contrast of the hard exterior and warm interior, banded through with patterns of muscle and organ that had no real analogue that could be easily brought to mind. It's camera kept focusing and unfocusing, tiny movements of the shutter that seemed so small next to everything else.

Miri glanced up at Liam then, having done most of what she could do for now, still thinking about placation for a problem that she didn't even know she was having. Still she looked childishly guilty, like Liam would scold her for breaking it, even on accident. "I shall have to get the data transferred over to a new one when I get back to my castle — it should not be an issue, but these new models they keep giving me are rather delicate."

"Ah!"

She startles for a moment, blinking and lifting up her hand, craning her head down to try and see. The first impulse Liam might have is that Miranda would have cut herself — there's a sharp tang of blood in the air, and out between Miranda's fingers the fluid drips. A sizeable amount, it seems, for how long it took for Miranda to notice that there was something wet on her hand.

Miranda's not acting out in pain, however. She flares her fins and her eyes widen, startled, but not pained in any manner that Miranda might show, and the distress she shows just feels different. There's something in the way she shifts her phone to her other hand, glancing between it and her palm, that suggests she's figuring it out herself.

There's a crack in the glass. A fairly large one, one Miranda must have missed when she picked it up again, and maybe it was what cut her in the first place — except she wipes her hand off on a cloth one of her serfs hands her, and more doesn't replace it. More does, however, leak out through the crack in the glass, movement pushing something soft and meaty from the inside of the phone against the opening.

Again, Miranda doesn't seem all that distressed. There's a big dramatic huff as she fully pauses now, stopping to examine her phone, poking at the crack in its side. Everything smells so sharply of meat and of drained blood that it makes her comment of, "Wait a moment, Liam — ugh, and I will have to go get another this afternoon, then..." stand out harshly in the mundane irritation it carries.

liam's head quirked up at the smell of the blood, distracted from his phone where he'd been tying his very well thought out response in an argument online ( beyond the common and non-thought provoking reply as: L + RATIO + FUCKED YOUR MOM that had been sent to him ).

there was a moment of worry, as the blood was visible on miranda's hand, along with the phone shifted to her other hand. liam knew better than to assume it was miranda's blood, he'd managed to learn some of her reactions to things, spending so much time both with her, and simply admiring her in a studious way to learn her reactions to things. help study what she might react positively to, should he decide to be a bit of a romantic. the scent of the blood seemed .. wrong. perhaps he hadn't smelt the blood of many merfolk before ( he hasn't ) but he wouldn't assume it smell . . . like this.

forgive his curious horror when he found her phone to be bleeding. watching the way she pressed on it, messed with it. the smell of meat joined the blood, raw meat. liam, in very few instances, put his own phone down, and into his pocket. just staring at the phone.

" miri . . . what happened to your phone? " liam had to fix his glasses, yellow eyes narrowing just a little bit, as if trying to tell what exactly was the mass of flesh within the screen, and whatever was leaking out in a way of casual, mundane annoyance to the princess. while also hoping to not make it too obvious that he was inquiring about - the blood. " that is quite the crack on the screen. "

[airashisakura]

My last entry for @ssskmonth | Prompts used Festivals and Family

Kin

Summary: When Sasuke struggles with letting go of pain from his past, Sakura and Sarada remind him that he doesn't have to do this alone.

Rating: Mature

_

“Anata?”

Sasuke stopped dusting off the shelves and looked over in Sakura’s direction. He frowned though, seeing Sakura perched on a stool dangerously, trying to clean the cobwebs of their apartment.

“I was asking…” Sakura scrunched her face in displeasure. She hadn't realized when she had left with Sasuke on his journey that it could bring this much work.

A week ago, when they unlocked the door of their apartment, back after a year with their three-month-old daughter, they had realized making their home habitable again wasn't going to be easy. The exhaustion of their journey back to Konoha hadn’t left their souls, but the Uchiha couple prioritized cleaning over resting.

Sasuke walked over to her and steadied her wobbling stool.

“What?”

Sleep deprivation had left him cranky. He had hoped that Sarada's wailing would cease after they had moved from roads to Konoha. Although he was glad that she was more safe under a roof, it hadn’t stopped her from crying the whole night.

Sakura caught the irritation laced in his voice, and considered whether she should say what she was about to.

“Obon is in two days..." She spoke cautiously, busy with her work. "I was asking if you want to…” She trailed off again, not sure how to phrase this.

“Obon?” Sasuke looked up in her direction. He was about to ask her again, when he realized. “Obon.”

Sakura turned, facing him, and asked nervously, “Should we?”

In all these years, he had never celebrated Obon. When he was a child, he remembered his mother strictly following rituals, preparing to welcome the spirits of their clan's ancestors.

He realized that although he always carried his long gone family in his heart, he never had given any damn about the festival.

“Aah,” he agreed.

Sakura's face lit up with a wide grin, but that died off when they heard Sarada crying at the top of her lungs.

While Sasuke rushed to attend Sarada, Sakura wrestled with more dust and ended up coughing.

Although Sarada’s shrill cries bore holes in his eardrum, all the chaos of his new-formed family had settled down all the internal chaos that he had carried for years.

_

Sasuke stirred out of his slumber engulfed with warmth . Sakura's body was pressed against his back, her arm snuggly thrown around him. Sarada had been quiet after days, and he felt fully rested, refreshed after a sleep devoid of nightmares too.

The light filtering from the curtain told him it was still early, and Sakura's breaths on his neck made him want to wake her up and kiss her numb. He had lost count of the number of days he had felt her bare skin on his, slowly and passionately driving her crazy. The days and nights after Sarada’s birth went by changing diapers and trying to understand the meaning between different kinds of cries, which he hadn't quite mastered yet.

Sasuke was tempted even further when Sakura pressed her lips on his neck and murmured 'morning,' her pert nipples brushing against his muscular back. Sasuke suppressed a gasp, his twitching member, and the urge to reciprocate his wife's desire. He gently pried away from his wife's leg, and regretted it when Sakura retracted herself from him.

"Anata?" Sakura sat up with a myriad of emotions on her face — confusion, hurt and rejection.

Sasuke didn't want to make her feel like that.

"I… I'm going to visit my parents' grave."

Sakura nodded and smiled, her features relaxing.

Sasuke never thought that gulping down the guilt of neglecting his dead family could be that easy.

_

Sasuke sauntered through the path that led to his parents' grave. The place was cold and distant like his heart had been for many years. Neglected even, he mused.

He stopped when he found the stone that bore his parents' name. Uchiha Mikoto and Uchiha Fugaku — names engraved with such beauty that was ironic considering the way they had died. A surge of rage and emotions pumped through his veins in a way that he was too familiar with — it had made him a person of sins that he was still redeeming for.

He stood there unable to repress the painful memories that had seeped from his past like a poison. His surroundings reverberated with the screams and blood that painted his nightmares.

Years of redemption had seemingly healed his wounds, but the sharpness of the past always cut, and the wounds bleed as they always had.

Unable to anchor himself, he looked anywhere but his parents' name. His eyes darted across the ungrazed grass, wild flowers, and puddles formed by summer rain. Stubborn weeds creeping over his parents grave, like the past that was attached to him.

His eyes caught something. And there it is, he mused again. A small pink wildflower intertwined with weeds, facing the sun. A gentle breeze that made its petals gleam in the sunlight reminded him of Sakura's unwavering love. The love that had waited for him through his sins and redemption — love that assured him every day that he no longer was in the darkness alone — love that gave him Sarada.

He crouched down, sighing. The summer heat was getting unbearable, and beads of sweat rolled down from his forehead. This reminded he should get going. Sometimes Sarada got all fussy, and it was hard for Sakura to manage her alone. Although his heart was heavy when his eyes glided over the name of his parents again, he smiled thinking about his new family.

Sasuke traced his finger on kanji of his mother's name, dirt gathering on his finger tip. He picked up the rag that he had brought with him and scrubbed the dirt and mud from the stones. With every swipe of the rag, the images of lifeless bodies of his parents became clearer in his mind. His fingers twitched, but he did his work diligently. The dirt from his parents' name was gone now, like the blood from the wooden floor that had pooled out from his parents' bodies.

Shaking his thoughts off, he held his shirt sleeve with his teeth and rolled it upwards. He went on plucking the weeds, wishing if it was this easy to pluck away memories of his past. There was a hopeful part of him — a little part — thought that with time, the pain of his lost family would wash away, but maybe hope wasn't a thing for Uchiha Sasuke.

He bid adieu to his dead parents, and got up to leave. As he walked away, he looked back over his shoulder to get a peek of the pink flower that remained. The pink flower that had grown in his life — accepting him and his past.

_

As he reached the threshold of his house, he stiffened when he couldn’t feel the familiar chakras he was accustomed to.

He looked around and found Sakura had almost finished cleaning their house. Bookshelves no longer had cobwebs, the white sheets had been removed from the furniture, and the floor was polished.

“Sakura?”

He was answered by the empty hallways and a note. It was a note from Sakura that said she was going out for grocery shopping.

He ran fingers through his hair, sighing, and walked towards the kitchen. He decided to cook a proper lunch. They had been surviving on simple food after they had returned, courtesy of Sarada's fussiness. It amazed him sometimes how their child managed to command all their attention.

Sakura always jokingly complained that it was something Sarada definitely had inherited from him. Sakura boasted that she was a quiet infant, and her parents always backed her up. Sometimes he felt a tinge of jealousy at that.

He opened the fridge and grabbed the leftover rations that they had, and he remembered Naruto grumbling about something similar. He knew he shouldn't find that soothing, but he realized in that aspect he wasn't alone.

In fact, he wasn't alone at all anymore.

Sasuke delved into cooking, but as time ticked on, he got impatient. He decided to go out and look for them. Something made him scared that he couldn't pinpoint.

As he was going to turn the stove off, he heard the click of the door knob. He heard Sakura calling him and responded.

Relief washed through him as Sakura approached him. He had been worrying over nothing. Perhaps his heart was still as fragile as his younger self's. Too afraid to lose, yet too afraid to accept his weakness.

Sakura kept the bag of groceries, grinning widely at him before she complimented the smell of the food. He was captivated by her green eyes, but his daughter seemed to have his attention now. Sarada happily clapped her hands on seeing him and wiggled in her baby sling to reach for him.

Sasuke bent down, and Sarada reached for his cheeks and patted them with her small hands, grinning toothlessly. This was Sarada's way to embrace, Sakura had told him once. Sasuke kissed her little palm before straightening himself.

"When did you return? We were sort of feeling alone, so we decided to make a quick trip to the market. "Ne, Sarada-chan?" Sakura cooed, rubbing her nose on Sarada's head, and Sarada giggled, agreeing with her.

"But someone had more fun than she expected." Sakura tickled Sarada, and she joined her in fits of laughter.

A smile slipped past his lips, and all the heaviness that had settled in his heart from that morning began to dissipate.

"She seemed to be in a good mood," Sasuke commented, looking for something from the bag.

"Yes." Sakura hummed, sifting her fingers through Sarada's hair.

His eyes lingered on them, before he started grating ginger.

"Umm, Anata? Isn't that too much?" Sakura pointed out.

Sasuke nodded, but he added it to the pan and said, "Father always liked it this way."

Sakura blinked. She didn't know how to respond. Sasuke rarely talked about his parents, so she stood there just nodding.

The space between them stilled, with only sounds of food sizzling on the pan and Sarada's squeals.

"Father used to love the spice of ginger, so Mother used to cook like this," Sasuke explained.

"I see," Sakura replied, excitement spiking in her voice.

"Mother also added less Mirin than required," Sasuke went on, and Sakura listened raptly, watching him while he cooked Gyudon.

Sakura didn't miss the melancholy in his eyes when Sasuke said that Gyudon was his father's favourite, and it stirred Sakura's heart

Sakura knew the things which are gone always hurt, but she knew too it took time to heal them. So when Sasuke told her bits of his family, she was glad that Sasuke talked about them without any resentment — sharing his lost happiness with her. She wanted to thank him, so Sakura tiptoed, her arms wrapping around Sarada, and she pecked on Sasuke's cheek.

It was unexpected, and Sasuke stared wide-eyed at the contents in the pan, while the tips of his ears turned red.

"I'll remember this when I cook next time," Sakura blushed.

Sasuke nodded, smirking.

Sarada wiggled in her sling to reach for Sasuke again while Sakura giggled and commented on how restless she was growing.

The house, the people, and the meal he had once shared together with his parents were long gone for him, but now he saw himself in Sarada who was trying to get her father's attention like he used to. He realized time had its own way to fix things.

_

Sasuke watched the sky, summer clouds lazily drifting and strings of smoke whirling between them. The smell of smoke from the neighborhood mingled with the evening breeze, and he felt nostalgic.

His clan breathed fire, and where there was fire, there was smoke. He remembered tasting the bitterness of smoke that lingered on his tongue when his lungs had flamed out a great fireball in childhood. He’d been excited to share his experience, and Itachi had confirmed with his too gentle smile that he had felt the same way

It was a memory that had been long forgotten. Years and years of using katon jutsus and chasing his older brother for revenge had made him ignorant to these feelings that he had held precious in his childhood.

The orangish hue of the setting sun told him it was time.

It was the first day of Obon. He looked around and saw the lantern that was tied at the entrance of their house swinging with the wind along with a windchime.

The lantern will guide them home, Sakura had said when she had tied them.

He knew that too. His mother had told him during childhood while Itachi had set up the bonfire for mukaebi. He had complained that bonfires are for winters, not for summers. His mother had laughed and had corrected him.

Sasuke, this bonfire and lanterns are for the spirits of our ancestors to guide their paths back home.

He had shrugged back then, because he thought he wouldn't have to bother about this in future.

Sasuke set the twigs, and lit them using a small fireball jutsu.

He sat there, remembering that Obon during his childhood had never been so solemn. Lots of people visited during that time. He hadn’t remembered any of them, though Itachi remembered some of them. Sasuke had challenged Itachi: Just you see, nii-san, next time, I'm going to remember everyone's name. Itachi had chuckled and had flicked his forehead.

The next time hadn't ever come. Before he could add more people to his growing list of people he knew, Itachi had wiped out everyone. And then Sasuke was alone.

He realized after all these years how much he had missed his older brother. He always wanted to bury the feeling because it came with the realization that Itachi was dead because of him. Itachi was dead because of Konoha.

Itachi was dead because he wanted his otouto to live.

"Anata?"

Sasuke lifted his eyes from the flames to Sakura, who looked worried. He looked back to flames.

"Are you okay?"

Sasuke nodded. He knew they had spent enough time together for Sakura to know he wasn't alright. His eyes were fixated on flames, so he didn't notice the way Sakura's eyes softened when she sat beside him.

He didn't want to ask her, but he found himself talking anyway. "Do you think Itachi can find his way?"

For the second time in the day, Sakura blinked in confusion.

Sasuke clarified again, "He doesn't even have a grave."

For a second, Sakura felt like she couldn't breathe. She had never seen Sasuke so vulnerable before.

"This place… Konoha…" He gritted his teeth. "I- I don't know how to call Konoha my home after what they did to my clan… to Itachi."

"I can't," He said, his voice louder and filled with accusation.

But as soon as these two words left his mouth, his eyes widened in the realization of what he had done. He shut his eyes and apologized to Sakura.

He felt Sakura's palm on his left cheek. It reminded him of his daughter's gentle touch — that they were his home.

Sakura smiled when his mismatched eyes met her green, and spoke softly, "Hate it till you can love it back, Sasuke-kun."

_

Sasuke swallowed the soft moan that fell out of Sakura's plump lips before he moved down on her neck, leaving a trail of kisses. When their house turned silent from Sarada's cries, they both sought comfort in their bed, limbs tangled innocently. Sasuke was comfortable enough now to delve into his wife's gentle touches. Gentle touches soon turned greedy when he kissed her the way he had wanted to that morning. It wasn't too long before their clothes were scattered across the polished wood of the floor.

He nipped her neck, eliciting a whimper and a delicious clench of her walls around his pulsing cock. He groaned and pushed deeper into her wet velvety cunt. The air from the ceiling fan cooled their sweating bodies, but the heat where they were intimately joined made both their spines tingle.

Sasuke leaned down to capture her lips again, and Sakura reciprocated wantonly meeting with his thrust. They gasped for air when they parted, saliva smeared across the corners of their lips. Sasuke held his gaze with hers, which was always soft, assuring, and accepting. Like a wanderer on a cold night regarded the flames that kept him warm, Sasuke tried to emanate his gratitude for her through his mismatched eyes.

He inched deeper, relishing the warmth of her skin. Sakura's lips parted in a silent cry when he hit the spot that he knew made Sakura come undone. Their rhythm became more erratic, and the heaving and slapping of wet skin was driving Sasuke to his own finish.

Sasuke angled his hips and thrust roughly. Sakura shuddered, her nails digging deep in his bare shoulder. He closed his eyes, focussing on the pleasure unknoting in his belly, he pushed roughly again, and felt—

Sarada's whimpers reached their ears. His eyes snapped open reflexively like he was waking in the midst of a nightmare, and Sakura's grip loosened on him. Sakura winced as he reluctantly pulled out of her. He wasn't sure if it was because Sarada's cries intensified, or if it was because they’d been interrupted.

She smiled weakly and slid out of bed. Sasuke huffed and dropped onto the bed, watching Sakura hurriedly putting his shirt to cover her curves.

When he made his way towards them, Sakura was pacing along the room, cradling Sarada in her arms trying to calm her down.

"I fed her, changed her diapers, and still she is crying," Sakura said, expression etched with worry and irritation. Sarada shrieked louder, and Sakura's patience was waning thin.

Sasuke stretched his arm towards her, and Sakura handed the baby over. When he took her in his arm, rocked her and carefully nuzzled his nose on her forehead, she stopped crying. Somehow, it felt strange yet so good that someone needed him.

He was sure Sakura was red with envy and embarrassment when she mumbled something and walked away. He couldn't help himself but let out a chuckle, and Sakura turned and laughed too.

_

Konoha's streets were overflowing with families, people enjoying and dancing around the yagura stage to the beats of Taiko drums on the second day of Obon.

"Ino and I always loved dancing to this rhythm."

Sasuke didn't remember anything from his genin days. Maybe Sakura had told him back then, but he never paid attention to it like the other things he had missed while chasing blindly after revenge. This festival, this tradition, and Sakura were always there, and he had always been a piece out of the puzzle.

But Sarada with all her charm had made him fit in the puzzle. And now he and Sakura sat on the engawa, basking in the comfortable silence that they shared while the sound of Taiko drums reverberated with his heart beats.

Sakura held Sarada close to her body. He smiled, eyes falling on the Uchiha fan on her little back.

"I sprained my ankle the previous year. It was all stupid Ino's fault."

Sakura went on telling him about her Obon experiences while his eyes lingered on the swell of her chest, the bindings tugged down for Sarada to suckle. Sarada fed herself without any complaints, her little fingers clutching on folds of the beautiful green yukata Sakura was wearing.

The beautiful cherry blossom print on her green yukata accentuated her beauty, but it was the Uchiha crest that she sewed on her yukata in the afternoon that accentuated her beauty.

Sasuke's eyes trailed upwards to her exposed skin, and he noticed the hitch in her breath when his eyes stayed on the purplish mark he had given her the night before. They locked eyes, trapping her green with his mismatched ones.

Sakura blushed furiously under his gaze. Sasuke smirked and asked, "Want to go to the festival?"

_

The sound of heavy breathing disturbed the silence, as both of them came down from their high, basking in the afterglow. A sheen of sweat covered them like velvet, limbs entangled and limp. Sakura's yukata lay crumpled between their bodies, tugged upwards and sideways unceremoniously.

Sasuke had committed to memory the way her pink hair seamlessly smudged with the green of her yukata when he had pushed inside her from behind, losing himself to pleasure. His fingers lightly traced her pink nipples, and Sakura gasped.

She turned her head back, and Sasuke pulled her closer to his body, his palm now resting over her beating heart. Sakura smiled, and Sasuke realized there were so many colours that adorned his life now — the red of her lips, the pink of her hair, the green of her eyes, and that mirthful smile.

His heart skipped a beat when he felt Sakura's heart dancing under his palm, synchronising with his. Their lips found their way to each other, the uchiwa on the Sakura's garment silently observing their love.

_

A wisp of smoke rose into the air while twigs in the bonfire crumbled down to ashes. Sasuke sat in front of the extinguished bonfire, looking above at the dark sky.

The moon hid behind the clouds and stars twinkled, trying hard to compensate for the overcast skies. A breeze touching his skin gave him a familiar feeling. He had spent more time under open skies wandering than under a roof with a family. However, tonight he felt the same heaviness that he had carried for a long time.

After they had dinner, Sakura had reminded him that it was the last day of Obon. Reluctantly, he had lit the okokuri-bi — the bonfire that sent the spirits back to their resting place. Maybe he didn't want to part with his dead family. Maybe holding on to the illusion where his father, mother and brother were with him was easier.

The breeze swept the hair that covered his eyes, his mismatched orbs growing wet. It wasn’t because of anger anymore, though. It just hurt. He clutched at his chest, fingers digging into his shirt, trying to soothe the pain that was there. An invisible pain that he only owned — that Sakura and Sarada couldn't replace.

"Sara-chan, did you like it?"

Sasuke snapped out of his thoughts as Sakura approached him. Sarada fiddled with a toy that Sakura bought recently for her. Sarada cooed in excitement, and Sakura giggled.

When she reached closer to him, Sakura stretched out her hand towards him. Words were not their way, and Sakura smiled gently, coaxing him to take her hand.

And Sasuke did.

Because there were things Sakura and Sarada couldn't replace, but he could relive and recreate memories with them. Severing bonds would never ease his pain, he knew now; instead, new bonds would help him embrace the old ones.

They were there for him — he wasn't alone, and he didn't need to do this on his own.

_

FFN | AO3

Obon is a Japanese custom to honor the spirits of one's ancestors. This custom involves a family reunion holiday during which people return to ancestral family places and visit and clean their ancestors' graves when the spirits of ancestors are supposed to revisit the household altars. It has been celebrated in Japan for more than 500 years and traditionally includes a dance, known as Bon Odori.

Credits: Inspired from Warm by @catflorist . For those who haven't read, please read this wonderful piece.

Thanks to @fm-white for telling me more about rituals of Obon.

Thanks for @fictionalquacker's headcanon that Fugaku loves beef, which helped me making an assumption that it could be Gyudon. Also thanks to lovely @birkastan2018 for giving some tips about cooking Gyudon 💪. A big thanks to @theredconversegirl for naming my fic 🥺. Believe me, I would be forever grateful to you for this❤️

Thanks to @something-like-air for beta-ing this. 🤗

Last but not the least, @thatsakurastan :") with her constant support and nagging, I was able to complete and post this fic. You deserve big slabs of chocolate!🍫🍫🍫

[angellesword]

YOUR EYES TELL | JJK (11)

Summary: You live in a world where people see in black and white. The solution to finally see the colors? It’s simple. You need to meet your soulmate and look at him in the eyes, but what if the person bound to you is already contented with the monochromatic world? What if…Jeongguk, your soulmate, is already in love with someone else?

Alternatively:

“A future without you is a world without color.”

Genre: soulmate au, e2l, slow burn, ANGST, fluff, roommate au

Pairing: Artist!Jungkook x Lawyer!Reader

Word Count: 2.2k

SERIES:  CHAPTER 10 | CHAPTER 12

"You don't have to pay me, Guk."

 Jeongguk shook his head instantly. Yoongi was being absurd. How could he not pay his older friend?

 "I know you have the money, but I can't just take ten thousand dollars from you, hyung." The younger boy pouted his lips.

Yoongi should know by now that Jeongguk hated owing people something.

 Debt of gratitude sucked. It couldn't be paid. Ever. Jeongguk didn't want that. He hated sleeping at night thinking that someone out there could manipulate his feelings—this was how he perceived debt of gratitude: a manipulation. It was because he felt like he was bound please the person who helped him. It was as though he needed to act in accordance to the likes of said person.

 "Fine." Yoongi shrugged his shoulders as if he didn't care about any of this. "Pay me whenever you want,"

 Jeongguk snorted as your voice echoed inside his head. If you were here, you would tell Yoongi that he couldn't just tell his debtor to pay him whenever he wanted. This wasn't how it was supposed to go.

 Civil obligations like this one was only enforceable for ten years. If Jeongguk couldn't pay within the said period, the obligation would then become a natural one—something that would only be paid out of conscience.

 Jeongguk shook his head. Why was he thinking about the stupid law? Why couldn't he stop imagining your pretty smile as you talked about certain provisions? Why was he hesitating to accept his hyung's money?

 And most importantly, why didn't he want to leave you now?

 Your soulmate loaned thousands of dollars from Yoongi just so he could pay the down payment for the apartment that he wanted buy. He promised himself that he would terminate the lease of contract with you after four months. He just couldn't live with you anymore.

 You were supposed to be temporary in his life; however, with the way you were invading his mind even though you weren't around, Jeongguk realized that you were his constant.

 You were the only person who could tolerate his bratty attitude. You were the only person who couldn't get mad at him. You were the only person who made him feel special and needy—Jeon Jeongguk needed your attention so much that he felt like had to run.

 He didn't know when it started, especially because he believed he was not over Red yet.

 Red.

 Was Red the reason why Jeongguk wanted to leave you?

 This was what you thought while clutching the paper on your chest.

 It hurt, but as usual you had to pretend like you were okay.

 "Your parents are back in their hotel," said by Jeongguk the moment he entered your apartment.

 He was back from the thirty-minute drive.

 Your parents were scheduled to fly to Jeju Island tomorrow morning.

 "That's good." You discreetly wiped your tears away, trying so hard to make your tone sound enthusiastic. 

 Your back was facing him since you were afraid to let him see you crying.

 You didn't want to pester Jeongguk regarding his plan to leave. You felt like he wouldn't appreciate the drama you would obviously bring.

  Jeongguk didn't deserve drama—not when it was clear that he was exhausted. He took care of you these past weeks. The only thing you could do was to give him a damn break even if it meant sleepless night as questions like 'why am I not enough?' clouded your mind.

 "Thanks, Jeongguk. Goodnight!" You hastily added, refusing to look at him as you made your way to your room.

 "Wait," he stopped you like the way he did earlier today. This time, however, he stopped you by breaking your heart even more.

 "C-Can I sleep in your room tonight?" Jeongguk swallowed the lump in his throat; his heart was beating so fast.

 You flinched.

 How dare he ask something so insensitive?

 "Why?" Your lips trembled as you finally found the courage to look at him. It was a wrong move, though. You couldn't do it. You couldn't look at him without tears filling your eyes.

 Looking at Jeon Jeongguk made you realize what you could never have: him.

 You were grateful he's averting your gaze. Jeongguk couldn't meet your eyes as well. He was embarrassed and afraid. What if you rejected him? He didn't have any reason to cuddle with you tonight. Jimin was right. Your parents were the solution to help you get back on your feet. It was as though they had some kind of power. You didn't look like you needed your soulmate to make you feel better anymore. 

 You were back to your old self.

 Sadly Jeongguk had no idea that you were just pretending. He didn't know that you were forced to be okay once again. He wasn't even aware that he was one of the reasons why you're acting like everything was fine.

 "I just want to make sure you're alright," his voice was barely audible.

 Jeon Jeongguk was a liar. The truth was you weren't the only one getting used to cuddling with each other. Jeongguk was also craving to embrace you—to listen to your controlled breathing and raging heartbeat.

 "Really?" You suddenly huffed, causing Jeongguk to flick his gaze at you.

 Your soulmate was a good liar, you were not.

 There's a point where pain was too much to handle.

 Jeongguk was staring at you with puzzled expression. His mouth went agape upon seeing the tears streaming down your face.

 "You want to make sure I'm okay so you can finally leave?"

 "What?" He furrowed his brow, clearly not understanding the words you just said. How could he focus on anything when all he could see was your tears?

 Jeongguk wanted to wipe your stupid tears, but you weren't letting him.

 You took three steps backwards when he tried to reach for your face.

 Anger, frustration, and pain. All of these are visible in your eyes. Your thoughts were poisoning your mind—making you imagine what you thought Jeongguk felt.

 "You...called my parents b'cause you're t-tired of me, right?" You slurred.

 You wanted to run to your room since you knew you couldn't stop speaking your thoughts anymore. This wasn't right. You told yourself you weren't going to make this hard for your soulmate, so why couldn't he do the same thing for you?

 Why was he cornering you? Why couldn't he just go away? 

 And why couldn't you stop the venom in your words?

 "You don't want to deal with me anymore. You want to leave but you're guilty. You feel like you are responsible for my pain," this must be it. You kept thinking what triggered his sudden change of behavior. It couldn't be because he finally realized that he liked you too.

 No. That couldn't be right. The only plausible explanation for this was because of the guilt he felt. He only started to act like he cared when you told him that he hurt you too.

 "That's not true..." But Jeongguk was quick to dismiss the negative thoughts inside your head.

 You inhaled deeply. Fresh tears stained your cheeks.

 "What's the truth, then?" You picked up the paper that would prove his intention to leave.

 It was too late to stop now. You were already acting pathetic in front of him. 

 "Why didn't you tell me you bought an apartment?" You continued to ask despite knowing the reason.

 You didn't. You were imagining things. What you think was different from what Jeongguk felt. Admittedly, his eyes widened. He wasn't expecting you to confront him about this. Hell. You weren't even supposed to find out this way.

 Jeongguk was planning to simply sign the contract to terminate your lease agreement with him, leave your apartment in the middle of the night and never come back.

 Guess he couldn't do it now, huh?

 "I-I," he trailed off instantly. How could he explain this to you when he himself didn't know why he wanted to leave?

 Jeongguk wished it was easy to face his emotions. He identified them, but he still didn't know what to do—not even after spending weeks cuddling with you.

 He needed to be alone, he needed to figure out what he felt and what this all meant to him on his own.

 "Is it me, Gukkie?" You sobbed and your soulmate's heart clenched.

 Your back was against the wall, Jeongguk was standing so close to you to the point that he could literally see the tears forming in your eyes.

 It broke him more.

 "Did I cross the line? Am I being too pushy? Annoying? Hard do deal with?"

 Jeongguk could only bite his bottom lip.

 You proceeded to list the things your former maids despised about you.

 "Is Miri too much too handle? Am I picky with the food? Is it hard to wake me up in the morning?"

 Jeongguk avoided your eyes, his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down.

 You noticed that he couldn't speak. Why? Was it difficult to admit the truth?

 "Or am I not buying you enough things?"

 The conflicted boy shook his head vigorously. You did not understand anything.

 "Do you need a new laptop? New clothes? Art materials?" You sounded so desperate. "Tell me, Gukkie. I'll do anything you want."

 "I don't need you to do anything." He said coldly as he moved away from you.

 Pain attacked your chest when you saw indifference dancing in his face.

 "You're still leaving me?" You quivered in fear. You were really pathetic. You said to yourself that you wanted him to go away, but the thought of him actually leaving made your stomach turn upside down.

 "Yes."

 It felt like an arrow shot you in the heart.

 How could he not stutter? Was he really decided to leave you?

 Jeongguk saw how his answer affected you, so he immediately defended himself.

 "I mean it's about right. I told you I'm gonna stay here for a few months. It's over now. I don't want to be your tenant anymore."

 "But why!" You whined. This wasn't fair! How could he decide without consulting you first? This was a reciprocal obligation. You deserved to know his reasons.

 Jeongguk scowled. He wanted to leave now. It was getting unbearable to see you cry—it was as though his chest was going to explode.

 "Do I really need a reason?" His frown deepened. "Can't I just leave because I don't want to be with you anymore?" A lie.

 "You're lying." You refused to believe him even if you knew he was telling the truth. This wasn't you. You weren't like this. It was unlike of you to keep pushing Jeongguk. You teased him all the time, but you didn't mean to make him uncomfortable. His happiness was your top priority.

 You swore you just wanted to know the truth. You deserved a reasonable explanation. He couldn't just say he didn't want to be with you. If he couldn't love you, then he should at least be able to respect you like a normal person.

 "Why would I lie—"

 "Because I'm your soulmate!" You cut him off. Your emotions were overflowing.

 Why couldn't you just let him go?

 "And I love you, Jeongguk." You cried. The table had turned. Just a few breaths ago, he was the one begging to touch you. Right now, however, it was you who was desperately trying to latch on him.

 Jeongguk pushed your hand away. He couldn't have you touching him. It would only make it harder for him to leave.

 "I love you so please don't leave me—"

 "You don't." He cut you off, flinching so hard because of how much he hated your confession. He felt like he was gonna puke.

 "I do, Guk. I love you—"

 "No!" Jeongguk insisted otherwise. He was being stubborn and it was irritating you.

 Who did he think he was to tell you what you felt?

 "You don't love me, okay!? You are wrong in all of this!" He took a step back. He was acting as if your touch was going to burn him.

 "You are delusional. Too caught up with the idea of soulmate that you failed to see the truth!"

 Jeongguk was shaking in frustration. He hated that he had to be mean just to make you understand things—similar to what Red did.

 "I can see the truth! I know the truth!" You carried on.

 He was the one being blinded here, not you.

 "You're just ignoring the signs, Jeongguk. The universe wants us to be together!"

 This wasn't a coincidence. You couldn't be wrong—not when he could see colors because of the love you felt for him.

 But he used this against you.

 "I am not your soulmate." His jaw clenched. "Your eyes can tell."

 You stopped breathing.

 "Your eyes tell." He repeated.

 Your mouth felt dry.

 It felt like you had been stabbed straight in the heart.

 If he was your soulmate, if he ever loved you—or cared, you would see colors by now.

 But no.

 You still see in black and white.

 Your eyes would not lie because Jeon Jeongguk was right....

 Your Eyes Tell.

[sweetestlamb]

Mostrami Amore.

Summary: Cha-young tries to move on from a certain mafia boss. 

Author’s Note: Thank for to everyone who sent in prompts for Chayenzo, it resulted in this mess. I don’t have much to say, I considered making this into a multi- chaptered story but honestly I don’t have time for another ongoing story so if this seems rushed it was a little, I wrote it in one go today. Hope you enjoy this, I stuck in some of my favorite crack ship because I am weak and obsessed. Happy reading! 

p.s takes place after final episode but han seo lives because this is my world and I get to play God. 

Another postcard.

Their delivery becomes sporadic and she’s embarrassed at the giddiness that washes over her each time a new square is sent miles across a wide stretch of ocean, the view on the card most likely lackluster in comparison to the true rendering of Malta. She has spent many hours on her laptop searching for images of the small paradisiac island, yearning to see what he sees and feel just a tad bit closer to him. Most of her life has been spent in solitude with only her work acquaintances filling the void at times, so she expected herself to be more equipped to deal with his disappearance and subsequent absence. But nothing prepares her for those moments at the coffee shop, when she finds herself smiling across a table only to realize there is no miniature espresso cup in the hand of a very dangerous Italian Korean mafia member grinning back at her. 

The smile melts off her face and she swallows the bitter cool sludge in her cup, the beverage tasting exactly as he had described it without him there. 

Nights are the hardest, loneliness coils around her like a snake. 

There was never any other fate for them, she knew that when Vincenzo murdered all their enemies this was their only real outcome. He would always be a fugitive on the run and she an accomplice if he were captured and questioned, it was in both of their best interests if he vanished from the face of the planet. But knowing that does nothing to qualm the ever present feeling of isolation that clings to her skin as she sits alone on her couch, downing makgeolli at a vicious pace. Trying to wash his taste from her mouth, that kiss on loop in her mind and the phantom grip of his hand on her neck. 

It’s those treacherous nights without the plaza members that have become a second family to her and Han Seo following her like the lost puppy he is calling her “Noona” so freely and frequently until she forgets her own name, that she allows herself to feel exactly what she’s feelings. 

Heartbroken. 

Desperate. 

Lonely. 

Rage. 

The last one she hides like a dirty secret in the closet of her heart, she knew what she was signing up for. She has no legitimate reason to be angry, or so she tries to reason with herself. But. This was the same man who had bypassed the security of one of the richest men in Korea and ultimately killed him without leaving a trace. She had watched him do despicable things, blackmailing, threatening, seducing, and murdering others as he saw fit and yet, he hadn’t used any of those dastardly ways to see her. That chance meeting at the art gallery had been the last she had seen of him, Then a few weeks later another postcard with the same message she had boldly uttered at the airport, it feels insufficient after having him in her arms again. She knew in that moment that they would never be enough again. She hadn’t even argued when Mr. Nam claimed he would leave this one on his table instead, she merely nodded and walked away to peruse the new sexual assault case she has taken recently. 

It gets harder and harder to hear Han Seo regaling the wonders of his “hyung”,  her anger boiling deep below the surface like magma waiting to explode and transform into something tangible and destructive. 

“He told me that he has a room for me too. I wonder when he’ll let us visit.” 

She nods absently, staring out the window at the sunlight twinkling in through the blinds but then his words register and the gears in her head churn before running the sentence back through to carefully process them. 

“He---what? You spoke to Vincenzo?” 

The human puppy pouts his lips before tilting his head and dealing a hard blow to her ego and her heart, “Yeah, he sends me letters. I got so scared the first time! He said the letter would self-destruct after I read it and I really thought that was true and I dived across the room to escape but I bumped my head on the table and then...” 

He sent Han Seo letters.  

She had received the same fucking postcard for months on end with the same message she had said to him, and he had time to write Han Seo letters. He hadn’t sent her even one in the time he had been gone. 

“That fucking bastard!”  She explodes interrupting Han Seo’s recount of his near death experience and he looks wide- eyed and taken back by her outburst, she almost soothes him before another wave of anger rushes through her veins. She had accepted the bare minimum because she thought this was all he could give her but it seemed she was being too naïve. He was Vincenzo Cassano after all, he could make anything happen. She had seen it with her own two eyes. If he wasn’t reaching out to her maybe that was a message and she was too blind to see it. 

“Noona? Are you okay?” Han Seo looks absolutely terrified, eyes huge and quivering. She doesn’t bother answering, grabbing her cup of lukewarm coffee and stomping out of the office ignoring Mr. Nam’s calls behind her. She’s tired of being an idiot. 

She throws herself into forgetting him, the same way he seems to have forgotten her despite his words to her that fateful night on the stairs. 

I thought about you everyday. 

Actions speak louder than words and she is done accepting his crumbs. She has never needed anyone, had even accepted when her own father wanted nothing to do with her; she has basically been prepping for this moment her entire life. 

So she goes shopping with Miri, buying gadgets that she has no idea how to use but that the other girl makes sound like things that she definitely needs such as a new home security system, her break in still fresh in her mind. She grins at the pretty smile on the other girl’s round face as she explains the specification of the machines around them and she can see why Han Seo has such a huge crush on the girl, the pretty blush that blossoms on the other girl’s cheek after stating the fact out loud is adorable and she pinches said cheek much to her chagrin. 

“You should worry about your own love life.” Miri teases but the words sting like acid on her skin and she turns away to hide the grimace on her face, but she’s not fast enough and the other girl catches her wrist halting her movement. 

“What? What’s wrong? Did something happen to Mr. Cassano?” Miri whispers the last part, looking around to make sure that nobody overhears them. 

She forces herself to stifle her emotions, trapping them in the back of her mind refusing to let him have this kind of affect on her. 

“I wouldn’t know.” She tries for a emotionless tone but even she can hear the bitterness in her own voice and Miri’s eyes fill with pity and it makes her sick to her stomach, “Don’t. I am going to be fine. Let’s just go.” 

They don’t utter single word in the car ride home. 

After that it becomes painfully obvious that everyone in the plaza thinks something is wrong with her and are teaming up to make her feel better. It’s the packed lunches that keep showing up on her desk without fail, her clothes being steamed and pressed for free, the way that they won’t allow her to be alone and there are countless spontaneous family game nights all ending with her drunk and being carried home. 

Tonight Mr. Tak is the unlucky volunteer, dragging her limp body in her father’s house and she thinks of all the times that they drank here together and a certain person was the one hauling her body to bed complaining and grumbling but that distractingly fond smile on his face that he only ever seemed to shoot her way. Her heart thumped loudly as he loomed over her and leaned in close, getting her hopes up only to brush her hair behind her ears and softly tell her, “Go to sleep now,” and she had never been obedient all her teachers could testify to that but when he looked at her like that she was powerless to do anything else but listen. 

“I miss him.” The traitorous words fall from her lips and vanish into the inky darkness of the night. 

A deep sigh from the left of her, “We know.” 

She feels vulnerable, the worst thing about having a weakness is other’s noticing too. She hates how weak she feels. 

“I am going to forget him.” 

The body supporting most of her weight tenses under her arm and she waits for his response, they all love Vincenzo- he had become their unexpected hero and leader in many ways. They would always take his side, she knows that. 

“If that’s what you need to do to be happy. Then, do it. Loving a man like Vincenzo isn’t easy.” 

She turns to look at him in genuine shock. 

“What? You thought I would tell you to keep waiting with no end in sight? You should know by now, you mean a lot to us too. Your happiness is important to us too, we’re a family.” 

“But we’re the Cassano family,” she challenges unable to accept that they could love her without Vincenzo attached, but Mr. Tak shrugs at the clarification, “We can be the Hong Family too.”

She feels her eyes swimming. 

“I should go inside.” 

She feels sober and more awake than ever, she stays up all night twirling the long strands of her hair in between her fingers. 

Thinking. 

Variety is the spice of life. 

She doesn’t know where she’s heard that but it’s those sage words that are the catalyst for her spontaneous decision. 

“Same as always? Silky with some body?” Her stylist peers into her eyes through the wide mirror and she hears herself say, “No I want a cut and some color.” Yu-jin raises one pretty tweezed brow but nods after a moment’s pause, “Okay. How short are you thinking?” 

And that’s how she starts her day with long thick hair that grazes her lower back and ends it with a short bob that tickles her neck. It feels like a weight has been lifted from her shoulder, metaphorically and literally and she loves the face that she sees in the mirror, her eyes looking brighter than they have in months. She feels more alive, like a snake shedding its skin and becoming a newer and fresher version of itself. 

“Your hair?” That becomes the running theme for her day, shocked gaping mouths and hands reaching out for the hair that was once there.  She merely smirks at their palpable surprise, especially Seol-jin who doesn’t recognize her from behind. 

“I haven’t seen a pretty lady like you aro--Oh Ms. Hong! I’m so sorry I didn’t recognize you, I am so sorry please excuse me!” The interpretative dancer bolts away leaving her to watch him bemused, she skips to Jipuragi with a pep in her step laughing loudly when Mr. Nam drops his coffee upon seeing her and the brown liquid goes flying and douses him in a sticky hot mess. 

It’s an entertaining day to say the least. 

Moments later when he’s finished cleaning himself up and changing into the cheetah print track suit that he insisted to keeping in the office, he mentions that a new postcard has arrived. She nods at the information, looking at her laptop and it’s only seconds later that she finally looks up and sees that he’s waiting for her response. She doesn’t have one. 

Forcing a tight smile on her face she replies, “Oh that’s great. Just put it with the others.” 

He does. 

But she can feel his eyes on her, his concern heavy and tangible in the air. 

She pretends not to notice and keeps clicking away on her laptop, only glancing over at the card once or twice. But it’s only out of habit. 

Nothing more. 

She starts going on dates with random men. Men she meets in coffee shops, on the streets, in bars, hell one time even the bookstore. She never meets the same man twice and they never get what they want but it does make her feel desirable and that’s all she’s looking for. 

“Where are you going?” Han Seo asks her curiously, Miri by his side as she struts out the plaza new perfume on her skin. 

“On a date. I’ll see you both later.” They both gape at her and can only watch with wide eyes as she sashays away, heels clicking with every step. 

Word spreads like wildfire and no one takes it harder than Mr. An, who calls her a “jezebel” and cries at the front of the law firm for hours, she has to step over him to go get lunch shaking him off when he latches on to her ankles. 

The others just look at her with sad eyes, filled with both understanding and disappointment. 

Much to her surprise the lunch boxes keep coming and her clothes are still pressed and starched to perfection though. 

She also starts taking self defense classes, Korea is much more dangerous than she had first suspected and she has to be able to protect herself because nobody is coming to save her.  Not anymore. 

It becomes a great outlet for her built up anger and her instructor praises her for being a fast learner. She grins and nods before flipping him and twisting his arm around his own neck in a modified sleeper hold. When he taps on her arm she squeezes tighter instead of letting go and he goes limp for a moment before she comes back to herself and releases him hastily with a quick apology, “Sorry!”

He rubs his neck, panting for air and she feels guilty, there's a tinge of that but most of all she feels powerful, more so than she has for a long time. 

It’s crazy but she finds herself asking him for drinks after class and even crazier is that he agrees even with her marks still there on his skin, the area bruised and red. He looks at her like she’s challenge that he wants to conquer, she lets him believe that’s possible. It’s only a bit of fun anyway, she has no plans for anything serious. 

Drinks turn into a drunken cab ride home with his hand on her thigh, hot through the thin material of her tights and they don’t feel right- too small and not rough enough but she’s moving on and she has no time to reminisce. 

There hasn’t even been a postcard lately. Message, loud and clear. 

When she shoves the keys into her door, he’s glued to her body leaving wet kisses on the long column of her neck and she tries to suppress the nausea that swims in her stomach, everything feels wrong and she hates herself for feeling that way. Why shouldn’t she fuck whoever she wants? He is probably doing the same thing, everyday on his beautiful private island. Kissing women that aren’t her and whispering dirty Italian words into their ears as he rocks back and forth, nary a thought of that Korean woman he knew once upon a time. 

Fuck him. 

She rocks back into the purposeful grind of the hips behind her, feeling the hardness that digs into the soft flesh of her ass and finally the door opens and they both tumble in haphazardly and he thrusts a hand under her loose shirt fingering at her breasts before a dark figure moves far too quickly in her peripheral and she hears her date cry out in pain. 

She almost faints at the familiar sight of the one person she never expected to see, the hard glint of his cold eyes as he twists the same hand that had just been fondling her chest. The grip looks painful, the wrist contorted in an unnatural manner. 

“What the fuck? You have a boyfriend?!” Her instructor cries out, voice high pitched falling to his knees as Vincenzo kicks his feet out from under him. 

She rolls her eyes, of course he would come now when she is trying (and failing) to get over him. 

Vindictively she answers the question, ‘No.” 

But that makes Vincenzo twist the wrist in his grip even tighter and she can see the bones breaking so she takes pity on the poor man, he didn’t sign up for a murderous mafia leader after all. 

“Just let him go. You have no right to do any of this.” 

He doesn’t listen right away and absently she wonders if she’ll need to test out her new moves on him, it would be satisfying to deck him square in the face. She dreams of that as often as she dreams of their reunion. Her feelings are...complicated to say the least. 

Then with a grunt, he throws the other man away like he’s trash and growls out, “Get out of here before I kill you.” 

She tries not be get turned on by that. But it’s a hard sell, her body already getting revved up. He’s telling the truth. 

The man wastes no time, jumping to his feet and bolting out the door without one backwards glance. Asshole, he was really just leaving her with a clearly unstable and dangerous man. 

“We need to talk.” Vincenzo squeezes out between clenched teeth, and her blood runs cold but she stares him dead in the eyes tired of this game they’ve been playing, if he’s here to end things she wants to know. 

“Okay. Then talk.” 

She looks insanely beautiful, with her hair cropped so short bringing his eyes to the tantalizing length of her neck. His eyes close in on a spot of moisture on her neck, he feels his blood boiling imagining that bastard touching any part of her.  She’s glaring right back at him, her chest rising and falling and he can’t help but check her out, it’s been months since he saw her in person the photo of her doing aerial yoga above his bed couldn’t compare to the tempest that is Cha-young in real life. 

The flat plane of her belly is on display under the white crop top loosely stretched across her chest which leads down to her slim hips and legs wrapped in white spandex, leaving very little to the imagination not that he hasn’t imagined her in far less many, many times. Too many times to count. Spilling across the silk adorning his king sized bed with only her name on his lips. 

She looks fucking hot. 

That makes it even more frustrating because he can still clearly see that bastard wrapped around her like a snake and his hands going up her shirt---he has to take a deep breath before he breaks something. Or chases that asshole to break his face. 

There’s so much he wants to say to her, so much he owes her. 

I missed you. 

I love you. 

Come with me. 

“Who the hell was that?” He says this instead then watches her eyes glint over into nothing but pure murderous rage. Wrong move. But he couldn’t help it, green eyed raged taking away his decision making abilities. 

“That’s all you have to say? Get out.” 

He wasn’t expecting rose petals and trumpets when he returned but he definitely wasn’t expecting this, her cold glare or another man in his spot. He thought she would wait for him, just as he had done for her. 

“Are you serious right now?” He counters, flabbergasted. 

“Deadly. Get out.” 

He clenches his fist, and then stomps out. Turning back but only to watch the door slam in his face. 

What the hell. 

It had only taken a letter from Han Seo to get him on boat that would take him to an open field and hours later he was soaring through the skies on a hot air balloon, on his way back to Korea. It was insane and he barely had time to explain to his family but Luca nodded at him like this was the only choice and told him that he would take care of everything, and he trusted those words more than he had ever trusted anything in his life.

“Vai a prendere la tua donna( go get your woman).” 

He had nodded, gruffly patting the other man on his shoulder before hopping over into the waiting boat. 

But he wasn’t so certain anymore that Cha-young was his. 

She seems different. Colder almost, she leaves whenever I mention your name and she goes on dates now. I think she’s moving on hyung, what are you going to do? 

Those words had been the scariest thing he had never seen. Scarier than every gun that had ever been pointed at his head. He thought what they had was something special, something that could stand the test of time and distance. He stared at the huge pile of letters on his bedside, all addressed to her. He had written one everyday since they had been separated, but each time he was too much of a coward to send it. In those letters he could say things that he could never say to her face, things like how much he ached without her by his side and how her smile was the only thing that kept him going. In those letters he could regal the ways he loved her, and how deeply she had been branded into his soul, every atom of his body belonged to her and her alone.  He would kill for her, die for her, anything she needed or merely wanted he would provide it, all she needed to do was ask. 

He could only share those feelings in the letters. 

He walks for hours, until he ends up at his old apartment the familiar door greeting him and he sticks his hand in his pocket before he remembers that he gave the key away, with a sigh he starts to walk away before the door creaks open and he hears a voice he hasn’t heard in months. 

“Hyung!” 

A warmth spreads across his back as a solid weight almost knocks him off his feet. He reaches one arm around his body, awkwardly slapping the face that is pressing into his collar. 

“You really chose to stay here.” 

He feels the nod on his shoulder, “Of course. It made me feel closer to you hyung, I missed you.” 

He grunts in response, before turning around and tugging the younger man into a real hug. He had missed the annoying little leech too, he had missed everyone. 

They are still in each other’s embrace for a moment before Han Seo pulls away, sympathy etched deep on his face. 

“She wasn’t happy to see you.” 

“There was someone else there.” He hates the words even as they leave his mouth and Han Seo winces, looking pained for him before tugging him into the small apartment. Everything is just like he left it.  He looks around in awe. 

“I’m sorry hyung. What are you going to do?”

That’s the golden question, he pondered it all the way here and he’s no closer to knowing the answer to that. Usually she is the one that makes the move, she has always been the brave one between them. He back steps and says things he doesn’t mean and she sees through him and smashes down all his walls. That’s how this has always worked. 

“I don’t know. Maybe I should just leave her alone. Let her be happy.” 

A loud scoff reaches his ears, “Sure. Is that why you sailed across sharked infested waters and trusted a hot air balloon company run my former thugs?”

He smarts at the sarcastic reply and glares before flicking the cheeky brat on his nose, "I liked you better when you were stupid you know. Now you're a little smart ass."

The younger man looks even more youthful as he grins back at him, rubbing at his nose before shrugging.  "I learned from the best."

He has no rebuttal for that so he tries to flick him again, giving chase when he darts off.

It feels good to be home.

He warns Han Seo not to tell anyone that he's here least they give away his location.

So he's not surprised the next day to find the cavalry at his doorstep hands filled to the brim with containers of food. There are tears, mostly from Mr. Nam who won't stop screaming his name and pinching his cheeks to see if he's real and Mr. An who wraps around him like a koala despite his very detailed threats. It's all chaos and so familiar that his heart aches but her absence is like a hole in his chest. Nobody mentions her but they all keep looking at the door, so it's obvious that she was invited but chose not to come.

Because she didn't want to see him.

"You're here to win her back right?" He doesn't know who even utters the words but when he glances up they are all looking at him expectantly.

He didn't know that was what he was indeed here for thought that she would happily welcome him back and they could pick up where they left off but she's made it clear that this won't be the case. This will be the most important fight of his life.

"Yes. I'm here for Cha-young."

He gets enthusiastic thumbs up and a loud giggle from the Yeon-Jin  and Cheol-Wook’s adorable baby, her little hands too uncoordinated to do a thumbs up but she waves excitedly  feeding off the energy around her.

He wonders how Cha-young would look with a baby in her arms, their baby it's a dangerous thought. But one that he can't get out of his mind once he thinks it.

They stay until midnight, forcing him to eat and drink too much soju until he passes out to dreams filled with a round Cha-young, belly swollen and protruding from her body. 

It doesn't take much to learn her schedule(Mr. Nam hands him a laminated copy) and he has to put on a disguise but he enters the shop seconds after her, hearing her order that god awful sewer water she's so fond of.

"An espresso for me." He leans in too close, almost brushing her shoulder and she jolts at the sound of his voice, turning to stare at him as if she's a mirage.

"You're still here?" She whispers and then shakes her head and looks away as if she's hadn't meant to say the words aloud.

It hurts him that she thought he would leave without telling her but he can't blame her, he has been anything but consistent. Instead of answering, he leans forward to hand his credit card to the cashier who glances between them suspiciously before accepting the card.

Their orders are ready in seconds and he follows her as she walks to their table, butterflies in his stomach at the familiar sight.

She turns to him with a glare, "It's just the only available table."

He moves to pull out her chair and she starts at him tight lipped before sitting down. She's in a tight black suit today, two long slits on the side of her pants going all the way up to her thighs. He gulps down his drink to get rid of the drool pooling in his mouth.

"You're upset with me."

She stares at him like he's the biggest idiot on the planet, it's not a look he receives often but she's always the outlier in his otherwise organized life.

"Astute observation." She quips back, sucking loudly at her coffee.

"Why?"

He considered how to go about breeching this subject and in the end had decided on going straight to the source, he had been under the impression that this was working for them.

Her face morphs into a person he hasn't seen for a long time, the Cha-young that would berate him and make him angry enough to curse in Italian.

"Do you think this little of me?"

He's completely lost, "What do you mean? What did I do that was so wrong? Wrong enough for you to cheat on me!" He's panting now, his voice has gotten loud enough to catch people's attention he can feel them watching their table, nosy and invested.

"Cheat on you?"

Cold as ice, her voice is. It almost makes him shiver.

"How could I possibly cheat on you? We're not together. You send me the same postcard with the same message every few months. I have no idea what you're doing in Malta, who you're with. You can't even be bothered to send me a letter, do you think this is a relationship? You think it's enough to pop up like this every once in a blue moon? You've told me nothing about how you feel about me but I'm supposed to be satisfied with whatever you throw my way?"

If he wasn't sitting down his legs would have already given out he's certain about that. Her voice is deadly quiet each word landing and chipping away at his confidence.

"I'm doing the best I can! You knew it would be like this after everything was over, why are you blaming me now? How about you, I don't know how you feel either!"

"I love you! Anyone with eyes can see that, I told you that at the airport too. And again when I took a bullet for you, you didn't think that meant I loved you? I was willing to die for you."

Shit.

It's not at all how he expected them to confess their love for each other, it's hard to believe the words that are coming out of her mouth as she bares her teeth at him.

"So why are you doing this? Why are there other men?"

Why aren't I enough? He wants to say but he's scared of her answer, terrified that she'll say that she can't do this anymore. That he just isn’t enough anymore. 

She stares at him long and hard.

Waiting for something. But he doesn't know what.

"You haven't changed at all. You're still a coward, I'm not interested in guessing anymore. I’m done playing this game.” 

She stands up and walks away, leaving her unfinished coffee on the table.

Unwanted just like him.

She doesn't see him for days and she accepts that her words had done their damage, she had cried until she fell asleep that night. Waking up with swollen red eyes that no amount of concealer would save but thankfully no one commented on her state.

She goes through her day on autopilot and before she knows it she's back home, ready to face her night alone  again. She pushes the door open, half praying he'll be waiting for her but her hopes shattered when she turns on the lights and finds no one.

"It's better this way." She lies to herself, pouring herself an obscene glass of soju. She's going to need plenty of alcohol to get through this pain.

Her head is woozy and heavy when she hears a sound, suddenly alert she stills in her chair before rushing over to get a frying pan walking on the tips of her toes she prowls closer to the clicking sound, finding herself at the window peering at a long lost friend. Placing the frying pan on her window sill she pry opens the window, screeching when the audacious bird flies inside landing on her table as if he belongs there.

"Hey Inzaghi! Get your dirty bird feet off my table!"

He looks at her nonchalantly, making himself comfortable on said table and she sighs before shutting the window and drunkenly swaying over to him.

"What are you even doing there? Do you want to be my bird now, I won't be a very good owner. I won't remember to feed you. I barely remember to feed myself."

Despite being a bird he finds a way to roll his eyes at her before standing up and only then does she notice something on his leg. She looks at him cautiously before moving closer and untying the paper on his leg, the pigeon barely reacts before flying over to her couch. She sighs in annoyance, she's going to have to clean everything after this bird leaves.

She unwinds the string holding the paper together, unrolling the paper scroll. There is a message written inside: the rooftop. 9 pm.

Glancing at her clock the time shines at her.

7:34pm.

"This could be a trap."

It very much could be, she has enemies now. It was a small price to pay for taking down Babel but she's always looking over her shoulders now, so this note could easily be someone luring her to hurt her or get back at Vincenzo.

Inzaghi coos loudly at her as if he can hear her thoughts. This time he finds a way to look exasperated.

She stumbles off to her room.

She needs time to think.

"So she told you that she loved you and you didn't say it back?"

"I was shocked. She was growling at me and looked ready to kill me at the same time." He reasons back, trying to show his hyung his point of view. The younger man doesn't look even a little bit convinced by his logic.

"Okay and? That sounds perfectly normal for you too. You should have shot someone and wrote it back in their blood on the table."

He recoils in disgust at the suggestion, "What the hell is wrong with you? Are you actually insane, why the fuck would I do that?"

Han Seo stares deadpan in return.

He puts up a hand trying to stop whatever response he has, "Don't say it."

It doesn't work.

"Pig's blood. Don't forget I saw it all, I've never seen Ms. Hong look so excited before. You're both crazy."

Well, that had been different. It was an old tradition, she simply had an appreciation for the classics.

"And I bet you're defending her right now in your mind. Noona is just like you, that's why you're made for each other. She's the gasoline to your fire."

"You know that would just make an even larger fire right?"

"Yes. I'm smart now remember? I know what I said."

He sighs falling into the comfortable familiarity of the couch, a spring digging into his thigh.

"Why didn't you say it back?" His stills at the barely whispered question, his chest constricting as he recalls the passionate confession. He had frozen, like he'd always known she was the brave one between them. Always doing the unexpected and the time was no different, her words had knocked him off his feet.

"Because I was scared."

Han Seo huffs at his honesty. He doesn't know where the words are coming from but he's tired of keeping it all in.

"Because if anything happens to her it'll break me, I thought it would be better if I kept her at a distance. I thought this was enough. I thought this would be easier. When I think about her I want to drop everything and just be with her and that...was too dangerous. I had to keep my distance."

There's a pregnant pause, just the sound of their breathing filling the void.

"Was it?"

"What?"

"Easier. Is this better? Enough?"

He thinks about Cha-young getting married to a faceless man, exchanging vows and sealing it with a kiss, happy and in love on their honeymoon wanton moans and screams from their room, learning that they're having a baby and her round and glowing with someone else's child smiling brightly as she rubs her belly and it's too much. He wants to smash it all into little pieces.

"No. It's not enough. I need her, without her nothing is enough."

"That's what you should have said to her. Don't glare at me I'm right, but I have an idea. I saw it in an American cartoon."

And that's how he lets his younger brother convince him to send a note to Cha-young using Inzaghi, the pigeon had shown up one night and he'd been so happy he almost kissed the bird.

"How will he know where Cha Young lives?" He asks skeptical even as he ties the note to the birds leg.

"I showed him a picture of her house. According to the cartoon, birds just know.” 

He stares at the younger man, wondering why he's listening to this ridiculous plan.

"This is stupid. I should just text her, Inzaghi is never going to deliver this. He's just a regular pigeon." 

"This is more romantic." He answers matter of fact.

"How is a pigeon delivering a message in anyway romantic?" He challenges already knowing from the shit eating grin he won’t like the response. 

"The same way pig blood was." The brat counters and he doesn't get a chance to respond before Han Seo picks Inzaghi up and throws him out the window, "In the name of love!" He only barely stops himself from bashing his head into the wall, the younger man has to wrestle him to the ground.

It's stupid. They did all of this for nothing the cool breeze makes him pull his coat tighter around his body, exposed to the weather on the open space of the rooftop.

He checks his watch, 9:48.

She's not coming and the worst part is that he doesn't know if it's because that damn bird never delivered his message or if it's because she really doesn't want anything to do with him. The burden of not knowing hurts more than anything.

Expelling the air in his lungs he walks back to the single door that leads off the roof, twisting the doorknob in his hand and pulling it open.

Meeting the shocked face of one Cha-young.

They both just stare at each other before he speaks, "You came."

He can't believe it. Inzaghi had actually delivered the note, somehow the pigeon had found her house and she was here. He almost pinches himself to see if he'd passed out on the roof and this was just a dream.

"I didn't know Inzaghi was a carrier pigeon." She futilely tries to change the subject and he takes a step back, gathering the tattered pieces of his courage. The same courage that had propelled him to kiss her all those months ago on the stairs.

"I'm so happy you're here. I waited for you."

She stares at him like he has two heads before blushing, and avoiding his eyes.

"Come with me." He extends his hands and tries not to be too hurt when she bypasses it and steps around him instead.

At least she was here.

With a quick swipe of his hand he sends the message to his accomplices.

Now.

The lights come on, fairy lights decorating the roof top in a heavenly glow. She spins around in wonder, eyes nearly as bright she's so beautiful it's almost painful to look at her.

Then the music starts.

The soft notes filling the space.

When I walk down a road I don't know well....

She looks around in wonder, staring back at him she can’t believe what’s happening. 

Then the letters start falling from the sky, all the letters he had written to her alone and missing her thousands of miles away. His plaza family smiles down at him, throwing letters from a higher building.

Cha-young stares up at the sky in surprise, hundreds of letters landing all around her.

It had taken a few days for Luca to send them all over and then another day to get the guts to do this, there was no turning back now. He had never willingly made himself vulnerable to anyone else, but according to Han Seo it was the only way he was going to win her back. 

“She just wants to know that you love her too. Show her.” 

He watches anxiously as she picks up a letter, stroking lightly at her own name on the front looking at him with stunned wet eyes. 

“You wrote me a letter.” Her voice is revere and awe that he doesn’t deserve, not after everything he has put her through in the sake of protecting himself but he’s too elated to see her looking at him like that again, like he’s someone important to her. 

“182. For each day we were apart. I told you I thought about you everyday, and every time I did I wrote you a letter.” 

She stares at the letter in her hand, gently ripping it open and devouring the words on the page. Nerves shoot up and down his body as he watches her read his most private thoughts about her, her expressive face for once empty of emotions as she silently reads the letter. 

He waits. 

Breathless and terrified. 

“Why didn’t you ever send them? They were mine so why did you keep them?” He hears an edge in her voice that makes him wonder if she’s only talking about the letters. 

“Cha-young, I don’t think you understand.” 

She breathes out loudly, stomping over to him until they are inches apart and he has no choice but to look into the deep pool of her eyes. 

“I don’t! I don’t understand anything, I thought you had found someone else in Malta and the postcards were just your way of being nice. I thought you didn’t feel the same way I did, you were sending Han Seo letters but you wouldn’t do the same for me. What was I supposed to think? Why didn’t you try to help me understand, you were gone for six months!” 

There’s so much wrong with everything she said, how could he find anyone else when his heart beats for her? How could he forget her when everything he did reminded him of her, he saw her every night in his dreams. But he doesn’t make the same mistake this time, he says what’s important. 

“I feel the same way. I love you Cha-young. I thought this was better for you, that this could be enough. But I was wrong, I missed you every minute of every--” 

“Come home with me.” 

He stops, stares, gapes and then stares some more. 

“What? I wasn’t finished confessing though.” Actually offended that she interrupted his planned speech. He was about to recite one of his favorite Italian love poems for her and then ask her to dance. 

She rolls her eyes dragging him towards the door, “Don’t you think we’ve wasted enough time? It’s been six months and you have been here for too long, you have to go soon.” 

She’s right, he has a flight in two days for an identity he borrowed for his escape. 

“Listen to her, just go back to her place and have a good night!” That sounds like Cheol-Wook and then they all erupt into applause and start cheering and hollering, chanting their names and then to his embarrassment they start chanting, “Go have sex! Go have sex!” complete with the monks banging on their drums and he doesn’t think he will ever live down this moment, especially when he sees Miri capturing it on the new video camera he had gifted her. 

He flips them off as an eager Cha-young pulls him away their laughter following them all the way. 

The car ride is too long on the way over and she wonders how quickly she can undress them both as soon as they reach, there is simply no time to waste. 

But once they get to the doorstep he suddenly freezes, tugging her backwards into his chest. 

“This looks familiar doesn’t it?” His voice is dark and smoky and she immediately knows what he’s referring to, and she refuses to give him any reaction. 

“Are you seriously doing this right now?” 

“You let someone else touch you. Here.” He runs a hand up her neck, briefly squeezing, “And here,” she gasps at his hands suddenly on her breast, squeezing harshly at the tender flesh. 

“So what are you going to do about it?” She knows that she’s playing with fire, but that is their foundation. She has never aimed to cool him off or tone him down, she sees the dark side inside of him and loves it, encourages it and feeds on it herself allowing it to bring her darkness out too. 

He kicks the door open, shoving her side and she delights at the rough treatment. She hopes that she is filled with his bruises tomorrow. 

She doesn’t wait for his next move, pulling her shirt up and over her head before tugging off her skirt leaving herself in a barely there lace panties and a matching lace bra that is translucent, her nipples peeking through the sheer material. He stares at her transfixed, his hunger evident in his eyes and in the tent forming in his tight dress pants. 

“Take those off.” She commands and he smirks before obeying, peeling the pants off his thighs standing in his button down shirt and tight boxer briefs that leave nothing to her imagination, every delicious inch of him visible. She steps forward bringing their bodies in contact, before thrusting her hand inside the opening of his briefs. He feels hard and smooth, liquid pooling at the tip and she twists her hand collecting it to ease her slow strokes up and down. His voice hitches as she fingers his balls and without warning she tugs his boxers off, leaving him bare to her eyes. 

Mesmerized by the unencumbered sight of him, she drops to her knees using her hand to guide him to her eagerly waiting mouth. 

His flavor explodes on her tongue and she swallows more, grabbing his hips to drag him deeper into her mouth until she can feel him in her throat, but even after her eyes start to burn and she feels herself choking she doesn’t stop, bobbing up and down hungrily, sloppy wet sounds filling the room in a filthy symphony. At first he lets her control the movement, pliant in her hands but as she increases her speed and suction he starts groaning and huffing loudly and then she feels his hand on the back of her hand, keeping her in place and when she looks up at him he looks wrecked. Eyes dazed and his face red and flushed, she ingrains that image in her mind, for when he’s gone and all she has are her toys. 

She stares back defiantly before he draws himself out of her mouth, a single line of spit connecting them and then he thrusts back into her mouth roughly and she opens her mouth wider to accept the abuse, loving every second of it even as a her throat aches. He sets a frantic pace, his balls slamming against her chin and she doesn’t realize at first that his grunts have transformed into words, too much blood rushing to her head. 

“Mine. Mine, nobody can---ah fuck! Nobody can see you like this. Only me. You’re mine.” 

He fucks her mouth like it’s his to use and do what he pleases, and she’s wetter than she’s ever been listening to him claim her verbally and with the wet push of his dick in her mouth. 

She starts grinding on the floor like a cat in heat and without preamble he grabs her under her armpits and lifts her like she weighs nothing, his dick sliding free from her hot mouth, “I want to make you scream.” He says this like a declaration of love and she throws herself at him, kissing the words off his lips. His tongue swirls in her mouth and she wonders if he can taste himself in her. It makes her hotter and she grinds her barely covered pussy onto his naked length, groaning at the friction even though the thin layer separating them. 

He tosses her onto the bed and she doesn’t even remember them walking, his tongue and his wondering fingers had completely distracted her. 

She lays sprawled across the bed as he stares at her, like she’s feast he can’t wait to devour. 

“Nobody has been in here.” She doesn’t know if he’s asking a question or making a statement, but she feels that his jealousy is real. Seeing her with someone else had done something to him, guilt washes over her. If she had seen him with someone else she would have lost her mind too. 

“Nobody. I never brought anyone home before, that guy was a mistake. I was just hurt and missing you. I’m sorry.” 

He had abandoned her for six months and she didn’t owe him anything but his pain is her pain and they are stronger now, everything has been said. 

“Good.” 

Then he rips her panties away and buries his face between her legs, prying her wide open with his hands and lapping at her with his searing hot tongue. Immediately he has his wish and she screams, loud enough to fill the entire room. 

“Already screaming amore? It’s going to be a long night, I want to make you hoarse.”  

She doesn’t get a moment to respond before he’s back to licking and sucking at her most sacred part, fingers deep inside her as he thrusts and strokes alongside his tongue, his fingers and tongue moving in tandem and she tries to stifle the scream but a particularly deep fuck makes the sound erupt from her throat and her head feels dizzy from the overwhelming sensation. 

He has boundless energy it seems, as time drags by and she feels her body tightening up as he systemically destroys her, he never takes a break or pauses, slurping up all the liquid that drips from her and the sounds of him swallowing are beyond erotic. When a hand runs up her stomach and squeezes at a bouncing breast she can’t contain her moans of pleasure, crying out as his fingers pinching the tight bud of her nipple. 

“Please.” 

He coos in her, “So pretty when you beg.” Then he sticks his tongue as far as it can go and she hears the rush of blood in her head as her body shakes apart and her release gushes from her body, twitching when he laps it all up her oversensitive body recoiling from the overstimulation. 

She has never come like that before, most men have never put in the work necessary to make her come and she wasn’t one to fake it so her experiences with sex with someone else were few and far in between. 

This feels like nirvana. 

“You still with me amore?” The bastard looks so smug, looming above her naked arms on the side of her head, and she had no idea when he took his shirt off. 

“I can’t feel like my legs.” 

He chuckles loudly at the statement, grinning growing wider. 

“Well I can assure you that they’re still there and they will look great wrapped around my waist.” 

Raising to his challenge, although her body is still buzzing she wraps her legs around his waist, they feel like jelly but she finds the strength to follow through with her movement. 

“I was right they do look great.” 

“Well this would look great in me.” She counters, grabbing at his thick ruddy red dick jutting from his body and he rocks into her hand before knocking her hand away and taking himself in his hand. 

“Do we need a condom?” He asks her, looking like he is ready to stop at nay minute if she tells him that they do. 

“No.” 

She has been on birth control since she was a teen and there’s been no one for her since she met him, and she trusts that it’s been the same for him. 

“Thank goodness, I want to feel everything.” He barely finishes his sentence before he’s easing into her, slow and steady. She lets him continue for a moment before she tightens her legs around his waist and pulls him in roughly, as deep as she can get him in this position. “Fuck, you’re so impatient.” 

“Shut up and fuck me already.” 

He grumbles at her calling her bossy, but she sighs when he draws out and slams back in with a quick snap of his hips. 

“Yes just like that!” 

He takes direction very well, repeating the motion until the bed starts to creak from their movements, he pistons in and out of her gone all semblance of gentle or slow, they have teetered into a speed that can only be defined as “break neck” and she feels her body sliding up the mattress as he pounds into her over and over again, she latches onto his neck eager to leave a branding mark on him and he groans at the suction, grinding harder into her and gripping her ass to force her to meet his vicious thrusts. 

Absently she feels him peeling her bra from her body, the only remaining item of clothing that has survived their coupling and she knows exactly when he sees the scar. The grotesque knitting of skin that had left a permanent scar on her shoulder, she almost covers it up but when she peels her eyes open he is staring at her mesmerized. 

“Don’t look.” 

He leans down to kiss it, the softest more precious kiss she has ever received in her life. 

He peppers more kisses all over, then strokes at it with a single finger. 

“I should have realized, this was your confession. I was an idiot. I will never be that stupid again, I love you so much. I would do anything for you. Anything.” 

He puts her legs on her shoulder, nearly bending her in half before resuming his thrusts but they are less frenzied now, it feels like lovemaking. Her eyes prickle when he kisses her scar with every downward thrust, whispering, “Beautiful, so beautiful. Every inch of you.” 

She cries out. 

With every thrust he kisses her scar, making her feel lightheaded and naked. 

When he moves them into a new position, her back to his front giving him better access to her scar, she loses herself as he whispers sweet nothings into her ears and litters the spot with warm kisses. 

She falls off the edge with his lips on her scar and him deep inside her, warm bursts filling her up before leaking out onto the bed sheets. 

“Today’s our last day.” 

Waking up next to him is torture, she tries not to ingrain that in her mind but it’s too late it’s already there. He blinks away the sleep in his eyes at her words and then nods solemnly in agreement. 

“Yes for this visit. But I’ll always come back for you.” 

She smiles brightly, “Don’t keep me waiting for too long.” 

They don’t leave the bed except to get breakfast and that ends with her laid across the kitchen table getting taken from behind after teasing him. He can’t seem to keep his hands off her new hair, twisting the short strands in his hands and yanking on them. She catches him looking at her heatedly more than once. 

Then they wind up in the shower, trying to clean up and getting dirtier instead, his hands tight in her hair and around her waist as he hoists her up to pound her into the wall. Making up for lost time. 

They get messages from their entire family, Vincenzo showing her a message from Han Seo asking if he’s going to be an uncle soon. She promises to embarrass him in front of Miri very, very soon. 

Both pretend they don’t feel the day fading away, bringing them closer to their goodbye. 

Tomorrow he will be gone again, but there’s no guessing now. She knows what she means to him now and that’s more than enough. 

She wakes up to an empty bed and a ticket to Malta, the ball is in her court.