#and Mason being a little shit and only helping when absolutely necessary

[agentfreckles]

Operation Holidate | Part 2

Part One, Part Three, Part Four

Rating: Teen for language. We let Mason say fuck in this house!

Word Count: 1,271

Pairing: Felix x Female!Detective (Eris Evergreen)

Prompt: Star

Summary: With Eris off planning Christmas parties at the station, baking enough peppermint cookies to give to every citizen in Wayhaven, and organizing toy drives for the less fortunate, Felix fears she may be too busy making the town’s Christmas dreams come true to take time to relax and enjoy the season’s splendors herself. With the help of his fellow Unit Bravo members, Felix is determined to surprise his girlfriend with the best holidate  ever by bringing Christmas to the Warehouse in four easy steps.

Notes: Part two of a four part miniseries serving as a surprise holiday gift for the immensely talented @iristhemessenger. I’d recommend reading part one first if you haven’t already as this chapter contains a couple of direct references to the previous one.

“A little to the left.”

Felix does as instructed, moving the large red stocking another couple inches along the mantel on the fireplace. Mason’s name, which Felix had written in gold glitter glue over the white top of the stocking earlier that day, glistens in the glow of the roaring fire below. He peers over his shoulder at where the stocking’s owner is perched on the arm of the leather sofa and gestures back towards the stocking display.

“How’s that?”

“Down a bit. A bit more. Little more…”

Felix’s brow furrows in concern. “If I lower it any more it’s going to end up burnt to a crisp in the fireplace.”

Mason smirks. “Exactly.”

With an eye roll so hard it nearly knocks him back, Felix returns the stocking to its original place on the mantelpiece, “Gee, thanks for the help.”

“Anytime.”

With the Christmas stockings now hung neatly in a row, Felix steps back from the fireplace and gives the living room a once over.

Transforming the living room into something worthy of a feature spread in a Christmas catalog brings with it far more work than he’d ordinarily volunteer for, like, ever. But he’d move mountains for Eris if it meant getting a chance to make her smile, so one afternoon of hanging garlands and untangling tree lights is more than worth the trouble.

He's been largely unaided in his efforts despite Mason waltzing into the living room to keep him company at Nate’s request, the older vampire having reluctantly had to pull out of helping Felix himself to assist Adam with research instead. Predictably, Mason’s contributions thus far have amounted to little more beyond chain smoking and the occasional offhanded grumbling about the holiday being commercialized bullshit meant to drive merchandise sales. But at least he makes decent company.

Plus Mason’s utter lack of interest has given Felix the creative freedom to decorate the living room as he sees fit without objection, something that he definitely wouldn’t have gotten had Nate been the one to assist as he’d originally planned. And decorate he has.

Multiple side tables have been given the Christmas treatment with wintery figurines while a number of the armchairs littering the room sport plush holiday-themed throw pillows. A row of five stockings he'd just been fiddling with on the mantelpiece (representing Adam, Nate, Eris, Felix, and Mason, in that order) hang below a large strip of lush green garland and a large, ornate wreath.

Nearby a deep red table runner spans across the length of the antique coffee table and is adorned with round baubles of glittering silver and several large, unlit white candles. The pine cones he’d saved during his jaunt in the forest with Adam add a nice rustic touch to the display, enhanced by some leftover pine branch scraps from the alterations they'd made to the behemoth of a tree they'd brought in -- the very same tree that stands tall and proud atop an embroidered skirt at the opposite end of the room near the alcove with tinsel and garland and more colorful lights and baubles than he can count covering the lush green branches.

The room may not have come out looking like it just stepped out of a high-end department store display like it would've if Nate had stuck around and it's not exactly the vibrant winter wonderland Eris has set up in her apartment, but overall he's pretty darn happy with how it turned out.

With a satisfied nod of approval, Felix turns to Mason.

"What do you think?"

"Looks fine to me," Mason shrugs before meeting the younger vampire's eye with a grin. "I'm sure it'll earn you one hell of a reward from Eris when she sees it."

Felix laughs. "That's not what I'm doing this for."

"But you wouldn't mind if it happened anyway." The tiniest hint of a flush creeps up Felix's cheeks as he glances away and Mason chuckles. "So we done here? This has been fun and all, but I've got shit I'd rather be doing."

"Almost! There's just one final piece left."

Felix jogs across the room to the set of windows lining the wall and scoops up the gold eight-point star he'd left on the cushioned window seat. He'd set it aside early on to be placed at the end, a sort of pièce de résistance to tie all of his hard work together and give the room that final push over the top.

Star in hand, he make this way over to the tree. His amber eyes follow up, up, up the massive fir's heavily adorned branches to the small sliver of undecorated space at the top what seems like miles away from where he currently stands.

The question is, how the heck is he going to get the star all the way up there?

“Hey Mason, think you can give me a boost?”

Mason leans back further against the couch, grey eyes sparkling with thinly veiled amusement at the little predicament the shorter man has found himself in. “Nah, I think I’ll pass.”

Felix rolls his eyes. “It’ll only take a minute. Come on, there’s no way I can get the star up there by myself.”

“That’s what you get for bringing home such a huge fucking tree.” Mason retrieves a cigarette from the pocket of his jeans, shoving it  unlit between his lips. “Just use one of the side tables as a stepstool.”

“No way! Nate knows my shoe print. If I get scuff marks on his precious antiques again he’ll freak out and lecture me into oblivion. And you can bet he’ll do the same to you when I tell him it was your idea.”

The threat of being on the receiving end of one of Nate’s disappointed mom lectures seems to do the trick as finally Mason lets out an exaggerated groan, rising from the couch with no small amount of reluctance.

“Ugh, fine.” He pockets the unlit cigarette once more and stomps across the room to stand in front of the tree, running a hand through his hair as he takes in its massive size. “So how are we doing this? If you give me your foot I can lift you -- AH! WHAT THE FUCK?”

In retrospect, jumping onto Mason’s back unannounced was probably not the smartest choice Felix could’ve made. He squirms in an effort to better position himself, narrowly dodging a fist Mason attempts to send his way.

“Hold still a minute, will you?”

“You’ve got ten seconds to get that star up before I drop your ass!”

Felix scrambles into action so fast the star nearly tumbles from his grasp. He grips Mason’s shoulder with his free hand to steady himself, earning a displeased grunt of protest from the vampire in the process, before extending his left arm up towards the top of the massive evergreen as far as it will allow.

“Hurry up already!” Mason barks impatiently.

“Almost there…” Just a few measly inches separate Felix from his goal. With one final burst of determination (or stupidity), Felix's free hand moves up and pushes against the top of Mason's head, lifting him up just enough to shove the star down over the top of the tree and into place.

"That's it, I'm out!"

Felix gets one brief moment of glory to admire his work before he is unceremoniously tossed from Mason's back and onto the carpeted floor below. He rubs his sore tailbone and turns to watch as Mason angrily stomps out of the room.

"So I'm guessing that's a no on helping me bake cookies tomorrow?"

"Fuck you!"

[zaceouiswriting]

Love always comes back

Character: Theo Raeken x male reader

Universe: Teen Wolf

Warnings: Sadness, Happy ending

Some days were just horrible. Especially if you are alone. To your dismay, it was one of „those“ days. Not having the energy to even stand up from the bed. Trying to fall asleep over and over again. And at some point, finally understand, that this will not be the case and still keep stay in bed. Just because.

Your sadness had a reason, one that is trivial more or less. But still hard for you every time it happens. The feeling of not being good enough, would haunt you in these instances. Dark clouds, all over your head, hanging threatening to eat you alive.

Not even the bright sun, that tried to get you out of your bed and maybe even happily jump in your garden. Which as everything and everyone around you, could feel this immense sadness, that would be around you, before one of „those“, days started.

The flowers, you cared for, letting their heads hang, which let it look like, as if it was about to die. But as always, the moment, you would come out of your dark place and tend to it again, they would rise. But the problem was, you didn’t. This time was different from all the others. Even days later, you haven’t left your home, barely could get out of bed. Your feelings eating you alive. The plants outside showed the world, what was going on. Lifeless and almost at the verge of dying, they paint a gruesome picture.

Without any knowledge of that, you kept to yourself. Doing only what was absolutely necessary, just to go back to bed.

You heard it too late. As the sounds came nearer and a sudden rush of adrenalin pushed itself trough your body, you were only able to sit up. But something suddenly brought you back down. A clothed warm body, smashed you on your own bed, where you half naked laid. Which was just more comfortable considering, that you wouldn’t go out anyways.

With a loud belly laughter, you finally got the sound of a voice you haven’t heard in a while. „Liam?“, you asked slightly annoyed at his breaking in. But still could just not laugh at him, jumping on me.

„Cannon ball!“, you heard another voice scream. Panic filled your body, until another body slammed onto you. The moment it hit you the body was finally visible. Coreys hazel brown eyes, looked directly into yours. Holding himself up with his arms on your chest, „Morning,“ he mumbled.

You put one of your hands on his stupidly smiling face, which he returned with a soft chuckle. „You know, we were concerned about you.“ A third person, who carefully sat himself on the edge of your bed, directly besides you.

Not able to turn your head, you couldn’t see him at first, until he laid himself besides you, „Mason, you too?“, you asked as annoyed as you looked. Just wanting to bath in your loneliness, since your other half vanished in the middle of the night, five years ago. Once in the while, you had these phases, waiting for him to come back. „How did you even come in here?“

Without any hesitation, Mason hold up the keys, your fiancé had. „He gave them to me, for the case you would isolate yourself too much. He loves you and when the time is right, he will come back, you know this,“ he told you again, with squeezing your arm, as if this would make anything really better.

„I don’t really believe this anymore. Five years, Mason. Five years! Do you know what I did in these five years, except for going to school and work? Nothing!“ As your anger grew, the two guys laying on you, were thrown to the other side of the room. Groaning and moaning in pain, brought you back.

„Shit,“ you cursed under your breath. Finally standing up again, helping both of them back on their feet. „Sorry, I’m not really stable at the moment.“

Shortly after, the strong breeze became what it was before, just a little breeze, blowing trough your know open windows.

„This is the exact reason, why I am alone in these moments! You can only be happy, that I didn’t used my real powers, instead of asking the earth to push you away from me.“

All three boys, could hear the anger and disappointment in your voice, for their disregard for your feelings and solitude in your home. You just wanted some time for yourself.

„Your garden is dying, as well as the forest surrounding us!“ Mason finally lost his cool himself. He could understand your pained hurt, but could not accept, that you would risk the entire planet because of it.

You could only shake with your head, „I would let the entire planet die, if its necessary.“ Slowly your eyes begin to tear up, „I can’t anymore. The pain is eating me alive. It is too long. I swore to give him the time he needs, but this is too much! How long should I wait, another fifty years? When he is old and grey? Maybe even with children?“

Finally the walls you had build up, since he left you, broke down, letting the waters fall. Not even a second later, rain began to fall down. At first softly, until you cried like a baby, something you hadn’t done in sometime.

Outside began a storm, so wild, that it would entirely be possible, to destroy the entire forest around your home.

Before you knew it, three pairs of arms, were around you. As a tall, build man they hadn’t had any problem to do so. They almost needed all three of them. „I just want him back,“ you finally cried out.

They kept you company for a few hours, until you felt better again and let you sleep again, with the threat that, tomorrow they would get you out of the house.

And as the next day came, this exact thing happened. You even were clothe, even when it was sloppy, just in grey sweatpants and a shirt. The day was gloomy, just like your mood, but still semi nice.

„And what are we doing, when you guys already forced me out?“, you asked them grumpy. Still pissed, that they invaded your home, without your consent.

„Can you once in your life, shut the hell up and just wait?“ This time it was on Mason to get annoyed at you. You mumbled something incoherent but looked away from the smaller guy, as he daggered you with his eyes.

You went silent with them, walking the right side from your home, the paved street you had paid for, because the city did not want to deal with it, brought you guys further into the forest, until there wasn’t any street anymore. Shortly before the end, the rest of your friends came to a halt. At first you did not really realized, that was until you couldn’t see their feet anymore. Confused you looked up again, turning around. Before you could asked them what the meaning of this was, you could hear steps, coming out of the forest.

Not once in your life, you turned around faster. For a moment fearing, that something would attack you. But there under the protection of the tree crowns, that blocked most of the gloomy light, was a sight for sore eyes.

The moment you saw the man, the clouds broke away, letting sunshine trough, as if nothing ever had happened. „The… Theo?“, you asked with a breaking voice, not able to breath at all.

„It’s me bonsy.“ The moment you heard this stupid ass nickname, he had given you, as he came to know what powers you had, you began to walk in his direction. The sun directly shining onto him, as if he was the only thing deserving of it.

But your walking quickly became a run. Theo did not move a single muscle, at first, just looking at you with a smile, that was warming enough to bring even summer to the coldest places. As you came nearer, he began to run too. Finally letting his feelings out for himself.

Just moments later, you two collided like stars. The smaller Theo jumping up into your arms, holding him into places. His legs around your hips and your hand slightly on his behind to hold him up against you, where he belonged.

A smell of oak and fresh water was on him. The feeling of the forest itself hang onto him, „There was no-one else, right?“, you asked almost ready to cry again.

Theo pressed himself even harder against you, „Never. You are the only one for me,“ he whispered softly into your ear. Feeling as if the world was crumbling around you full with hope and happiness.

You could hear whispering around you. While you spun Theo in your arms. Never have voices matter as less as they did in this moment. Finally as you accepted that he was back. With the hand on the back on his head, you forced it a bit away from you, „Never leave me again! Do you understand me! Never!“ Tears were streaming down your cheeks at this point. But the weather kept being sunny and warm.

Instead of saying anything, he did the only thing that truly could tell you, that he was there to stay. He kissed you. Not a kiss, but a promise. You could feel it and finally became yourself again. The sadness began to vanish out of your system, where it never belonged to. 

[macabreheadhouse]

An introduction (originally posted 9/11/22)

I've hid in the background for a while but I think today would be a good time to finally introduce myself on here. I'll be using this as a new diary of sorts moving forward, just please be patient with me if you're reading. I'm still being guided through this whole computer in a phone thing and it's been a while since I've gotten my feelings out.

I'll start with saying I don't know for a fact that I'm actually me. Pretty weird huh? know it makes no sense. I know today should have been my 41st birthday, gross. (Thank you to everyone that made birthday posts for me) But I still feel like a scared, lonely, clueless 17 year old kid in regards to a lot of shit. Most shit...

When I woke up" in this system I still felt the same way did when everything happened 22 years ago... I still don't have a full grasp of this whole multiple personality/dissociative identities thing even though I've been around here for a while now. I know it comes from trauma. I'm still learning but it's kinda difficult when there's so many conflicting opinions on shit. Like what if the traumatized person was also somehow spiritually or magically gifted, as the original host of this body claims so hard to be? Could someone who'd previously passed away then be called to come to that person's system from mere admiration? Is it ever remotely possible for me to really be me? I've always been a skeptic about everything. I didn't ever really believe in God or ghosts or any of that crap. I see the arguments over whether any of it is even real and I get it. I get the doubt.

We can sit and argue fact or opinion or delusion or whatever the fuck else all day long. At the end of the day it doesn't matter. I know I feel exactly like me and that's the only thing I give a fuck about.

Like I said I've been in the background. I observe, I front from time to time. I know the world is still a sad, shit place. I know most people still suck. The one thing that makes me a little bit hopeful though? Has been seeing how many of you on here post things in understanding of me and my best friend, of the actions we felt necessary to take. Not glorifying. Even I know what we did was fucked. But when you boil it down that WAS the point of it for both of us. We wanted to open up people's eyes on a mass level. To show how fucked the world was, how irredeemable humanity was and still seemingly is.

I still don't think humanity will ever know true peace. But knowing that a lot of the kids that grew up fucked up and hurt after 99 learned about me and what happened and in turn felt seen, felt known, felt understood. That shit means the world to me. It means we didn't do it for absolutely nothing.

Regret? Yes I feel it, and I'll feel it forever. The list of things I wish had been different are endless. I wish I had had a better grasp on the world. I wish I'd found a more productive way to make a change in it. I wish I'd found a way to just talk to someone and tell them how fucking lonely and scared I was of life.

But realistically? I know even if all of those wishes had been reality it wouldn't have changed anything. I see how many mass shootings have occured since. I know it would've continued whether we'd involved ourselves in it back then or not. The one thing that gives me any type of peace is seeing how many kids have really related to us and used our story to help themselves cope with whatever shit happened in their lives. The kids who saw our story and felt like us. The kids who lived vicariously through our actions. The kids who used us as an avenue to avoid letting themselves repeat our actions. I see all of you(even you Mason) and you all give me peace. That peace will never take away the guilt but it makes it a little bit easier to live with it all again now.

And again, I don't know if I'm actually me or just a really really fucking good internal projection from Mason's connection to me. But I have memories of things that I know were never made public knowledge, that I can't find no matter how much I try and search, like our tapes. I remember further details about everything ever see about me, about Eric, about my parents, about everyone and everything I ever knew. So even with my doubt, even with all my skepticism, I've been more inclined over time to believe that I am in fact me. That this is really me getting the chance to live life again. To actually make a positive difference this time.

I'm gonna be as much of a voice as I can safely be now. I'll be there for anybody that needs me. Anybody that feels like they've never been understood. Believe me, whatever it is I'll get it, and I'll support you no matter what. I know how it is to be lonely in life and in death. I was, and still am, nothing but a monster in the eyes of most people. But I was just a kid that wanted to make a difference. All I knew was loneliness and fear so I used that, and in turn I played part in one of the most horrendous and notorious crimes in US history.

I don't want to be seen as a hero for what I did. But if I can be seen as a walking history lesson, if I can help people understand or feel understood, then I'll feel peace whenever I die again. So please, ask your questions, reach out and vent. I look forward to getting to know new people and make new friendships, and see if there is any beauty left hidden in this world.

-Dylan Klebold

[kindkindling]

thinking about my feelings never did me any good

fandom: the wayhaven chronicles

pairing: mason/nb detective (Billie Vale)

rating: T

warnings: none? some anxiety, but nothing to write home about

word count: ~2k

summary: The detective accidentally spends the night in Mason's room and almost has a conniption over it.

ao3

Coming back to consciousness was a slow affair.

The first sensation to return was a familiar dull ache radiating from their lower half, a pleasant reminder of the evening's activities. Revelling in it for a few moments brought a smile to Billie's face that was really a bit embarrassing in just how wide it was, so they shifted to hide their face into their pillow. That, however, brought on another sensation that was more surprising - this wasn't their pillow.

The smile drained as Billie slowly lifted their head back up and opened their eyes. It took a few moments for their eyesight - poor at the best of times, honestly - to focus enough to discern that this was not the usual location of their... encounters with Mason.

This was, in fact, Mason's room.

A gentle shifting sound drew their attention, and they turned to their side to see Mason laying on his stomach, shoulderblades falling slightly as he exhaled a breath in sleep.

It was really quite something to see. His face was turned away, cheek pressed into the pillow, which was somehow both a disappointment and a relief; but now that their eyes had adjusted to the dark, they could see the defined slopes and curves of the lean muscles in his back. His freckles were a little harder to spot, and they couldn't have stopped the unconscious lean forward to refine their vision even if they had tried.

A bit closer, they could see the clusters of dots all across the wide expanse of tanned skin, and the smile that had dropped before returned with a vengeance as they let their eyes roam to their content.

This... was not something they ever got to see. Not Mason's back - that was something they had seen quite a few times by this point - but him just... peacefully resting. Billie was something of a heavy sleeper themself, so after a few rounds of fun, they would always be conked out until morning - by which time Mason was always long gone. And with that thought came a realization that felt like a bucket of ice water being poured over their head.

Mason never stayed. That was the thing, he was very clear when they began this... engagement that it was just sex. No feelings, no complications; and Billie had tentatively agreed, against their better judgement. Mason was rather good at getting Billie to go along with what were almost always bad ideas, seemingly without even trying very hard; an admittedly almost obnoxious level of professionalism had helped to keep any shenanigans out of their office at the station, but anywhere that didn't require Billie to prove themselves worthy of the duties given to them were less than safe.

Really, they should have been more concerned about how easy it was to let themselves be swayed by those pretty, stormy eyes and the way he would move towards them with a very definite, singular purpose in mind and how he had a way of making any room feel twenty degrees hotter even when the rest of Unit Bravo were still in the room Mason please. But being concerned about it would mean having to actually think about it, which Billie was adamantly and actively refusing to do, because thinking about it could only complicate things.

Thinking about it would lead to thinking about how, despite how their pulse would race and their ears would burn, they never felt safer than when they were in his arms. About how more than once they've caught themselves getting distracted at work, remembering not how he smirked down at them in bed, eyes dark and gleaming, but how he grinned when they had actually joined Felix in teasing Ava about her attitude for once.

("I'm just saying! He's not entirely wrong," they defended Felix. "You can be a little... uptight."

"I believe that's a bit hypocritical coming from you, detective," she had commented dryly, eyebrow raised.

"Oh, I'm aware," they had said. "But that doesn't make it less true."

Nat had chuckled quietly from her book, and the bark of laughter from Mason had Billie mirroring his grin.)

None of that was fair to Mason. He wanted simple. He wanted uncomplicated fun. He didn't want feelings that would make things messy or their jobs harder and that was understandable. It was bad enough that Billie found so many moments of their day spent just remembering things like how his hair felt running through their fingers as they scrambled for purchase; if feelings got involved and things went south, there was no way the rest of Unit Bravo or their work would be unaffected, and staying in his bed after sex would be... crossing a feeling line?

Emotions really weren't their strong suit.

Thinking about their feelings, which unfortunately often ran counter to what was obviously the objectively correct course of action, was bad. Nothing good would come of it, so they shoved it down and locked it up and only occasionally allowed themselves to listen to the rattling of their heart inside its cage.

Steadfastly ignoring their pounding heart, Billie tried to stop their mind from running away and panicking about feelings they refused to consider by figuring out just what they were actually going to do about this.

So, the facts.

One. Mason never stayed. Therefore, Billie shouldn't stay either. Easy, nothing to even contemplate here. Frankly, they've probably stayed too long as it is, staring at the arrays of freckles on his back, lingering on one cluster before slowly dragging to the next, tracing the line where the sheets met his hips -

Stop. Next.

Two. Mason was asleep, and Billie was awake. Therefore, now was the optimal time to leave.

Three. In order to leave, they need to first find their glasses. Where were their glasses?

Billie had only been in here once before, when Mason was recovering from the Trappers' assault, and they hadn't exactly been paying much attention to the decor at that time. Reluctantly, they tore their eyes away from Mason's back and scanned the room.

They had come in the door and Mason had abruptly shut it behind them and crowded them against it. They had... spent some time there (don't think about it don't linger his hands cupped their ass and squeezed as he dragged them against his-)

Nope, obviously not there. A table? Dresser? When had they taken them off?

Shit. There was also another problem, even if they found the frames. It simply wouldn't be possible for Mason to sleep as heavily as they do - personal idiosyncrasies aside, his hypersenses would undoubtedly register them poking around his room.

Reconsider fact three. Are the glasses necessary? They could leave without them. Well, they couldn't leave the warehouse; while they did keep a spare pair in the glove compartment of their car, they had walked here today to enjoy the last remnants of spring's cool breezes before summer's annual onslaught began. But they could retire to their own room for the rest of the night at least, allow Mason the privacy he always afforded them, and inquire politely in the morning proper. That would be an awkward conversation in and of itself, but...

Yes, that seemed the safest bet. Least chance of waking Mason, greatest chance of avoiding an "Oh hey, didn't mean to wake you, go back to sleep" conversation, absolutely no chance of acknowledging how god, they really didn't want to leave at all, he was so warm next to them -

Right, time to go.

With a firm resolution not to look back and start counting each freckle to delay this any longer, Billie pulled the covers back and shifted their legs off the bed. As soon as their feet touched the floor, they felt a tug and the world shifted and suddenly they were back on the bed and looking at the ceiling?

"Quiet down." Gruff, gravelly - oh. Mason was awake. Well, shit.

"I didn't say anything," Billie whispered. Mason had pulled them back from the edge of the bed and had turned so that now he was on his side and had one arm slung across their middle, pressing them alongside him. They could feel the drag of his stubble as he buried his face in the space between their shoulder and the pillow, and try as they might, they couldn't stop their ears from burning in response.

"Didn't have to. Heart's pounding a mile a minute."

Ah. So much for their carefully considered plan. But now, with his arm around them and his breath warming their skin, they were finding it harder and harder to start a new thread of logic to get out of this.

They looked down at his arm. The freckles that had dotted across his back spread here as well, and after a moment's hesitation, they brought one hand up to gently run their fingers across them, trying to find a recognizable pattern. They could feel Mason stiffen for just a second, then relax again with a only a huff as commentary. Not wholly unwelcome, then. Tolerated, at least. Was that was this was? Was he just tolerating this intrusion into his space, would it mean he would be less likely to allow Billie in again? Maybe not, he was never very picky about where they had fun before, but this was different, surely? This had to be a bad idea, they couldn't let themself be swayed into this like all the times before, this could be ruinous, this thing that they have was already tenuous and vague at best, this had to be crossing a line -

There was a growl and another tug and suddenly Billie was on their side, facing away from Mason, pulled in tight against his chest with both arms and legs tangled together. The tension Billie felt was keeping them from fully appreciating the position, though that did nothing to stop the flush from moving from their ears to their cheeks.

"What did I tell you?"

They let out a breath they hadn't known they were holding. Then took another, and gathered their courage. Bite the bullet.

"Sorry. It's just..." They rearranged their own arms until they could hold onto Mason's more comfortably. "...Is this really okay? Me... staying?"

They felt a scoff behind their head, gently displacing a few wisps of hair.

"Where would you even go?"

Ugh. This was taking more courage than Billie allotted for. "I could go to my own room. You don't have to let me stay here if you don't want to."

There was a long, long moment of silence. Long enough that Billie started to consider cutting their losses and writing off that pair of glasses entirely, really, they could just run home, pack their bags, move to the city, change their name; they would miss Unit Bravo and Tina and Verda and maybe even reminisce about Douglas and his stupid, shitty phone one day, but it would be better than dealing with the fallout of this.

But while Mason may be a tease, he never fails to follow through. His grip tightened just a bit.

"I never do anything I don't want to, sweetheart. If you don't know that by now, you aren't half as smart as everyone thinks you are."

A flush of warmth flowed through them that had (almost) nothing to do with the added heat from Mason's embrace, even as they let out a small huff of indignation. It wasn't the most tactful way to say it, but it still answered the unasked question. Do you want me to stay?

With that worry taken care of and any other thoughts or feelings on the matter resolutely shoved back where they came from because we are not going to screw this up right now no thank you, Billie finally settled back against Mason's chest.

"Okay then." They could feel a shadow of a smile at the edge of their lips, the muscles barely twitching before they also settled as they let their eyes close again. "...Good night, Mason."

"'Night."

It didn't take much longer for Billie to fall back asleep, Mason's arms around them, legs entangled, and the ghost of Mason's lips resting on the back of their neck for the rest of the night.

[thedeviltohisangel]

You Say It Softly//7//I Know I’m Gonna Be

Leah leaves for Stanford without Jim.

warnings for smut, dubcon, drinking, fight, language

catch up at the masterlist in my bio!

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Leah sat in the parking lot of the rehab facility for much longer than she had meant to. Visiting hours had started almost an hour ago but she had yet to find the courage to walk in. Today was the day that her and her parents were driving to Stanford to move her in and today was supposed to be the day Jim came with her. The day they were supposed to start their lives together. Away from Palos Verdes and his parents and the scrutinizing eye of every single inhabitant of the town.

But, instead, she had gotten a phone call from Medina saying Jim never wanted to see her again. That after the night on the beach where Leah had found him face down and close to death, he thought it was best that they go their separate ways. At first she had just been upset that Jim hadn’t had the courage to say the words to her himself. That he had tasked his sister with breaking up with her. It made her think that it wasn’t what Jim actually wanted. That he was thinking rashly and doing what he thought was best for her and that’s why she was here, to tell Jim that that wasn’t what was best for her. That she would wait for him for as long as it took for him to get well enough to move to Stanford with her. That a love like theirs was worth waiting forever for.

Finally, she flung open her car door and marched towards the brown building. Tears were already beginning to form in her eyes from not seeing Jim so long and knowing that he was so close to her but that he didn’t want to see her. Claimed he never wanted to see her again.

“I’m here to visit James Mason.” The receptionist looked at her skeptically, Leah thinking her tearful eyes probably made her look more like a hysterical girl than the young woman she was trying to be. She filled out all the necessary paperwork and went through the security checkpoint before following the directions on the wall to his room number.

He was curled up on his tiny bed with his back to the door. She felt her heart skip a beat at just the sight of his chocolate hair and broad shoulders. “Hi, Jim.” Her voice sounded weak and broken to her own ears and she hated herself for it. Ever since she had admitted her love to Jim she had always promised herself she would be a source of strength for him. Now more than ever he needed strength around him and not some blubbering little girl.

“I thought Medina told you I never wanted to see you again.” Jim had spent the previous night and the entire morning crying. He knew that this was the day she was leaving. Leah was leaving Palos Verdes behind and he could not have been happier for her. The only thing that could have possibly brought her back was him and he needed to make sure that would never be an option for her. If only he could have gone with her, but he couldn’t. After the night at the beach he had realized that he was never going to be good enough for her. Could never be the man she needed and deserved. If he was such a shit boyfriend he didn’t want to think about what kind of husband or father he would be. Leah deserved the absolute best. Not some washed up addict that couldn’t even make it to prom or her birthday because pills were more important.

“I couldn’t leave without saying goodbye. It didn’t feel right.” She stepped further into his room, wanting desperately to see his face one last time. As soon as she was about to round the corner of his bed in order to face him, he rolled over. “Jim.” Leah wanted to cry. She had thought she would be able to convince him to not give up on them but his actions...maybe she had been mistaken in thinking that this wasn’t really what Jim wanted.

“You need to go, Leah. I don’t want you here. I’m sorry if you thought differently.” He thinks he was about to cry again. So, so badly he wanted to turn around and get one last glimpse of her before she left his life forever. But he knew that if he looked at her then he wouldn’t be able to let her go and he had to. For her sake.

“I’m sorry too,” she whispered, “I won’t keep you long then. I’ll give you back this ring you gave me since I guess it doesn’t fucking mean anything anymore.” Jim flinched at the sound of the ring hitting the bedside table.

“I gave it to you. You can keep it. I don’t want it.”

“I don’t want it either, Jim! I don’t want to ever remember the stupid boy I let myself fall in love with just so he could break me like a little twig! Toss me aside like I didn’t save his life.” It was a little below the belt but Leah didn’t care. If she truly was never going to see Jim Mason ever again then she was going to let him hear it. “I wrote you this letter too. You can just throw it out since I disgust you so much.”

“I never asked for your help, Leah. Please let me sleep.” His own heart was shattered beyond repair as he heard her sniffling behind him.

“Goodbye, Jim. I hope you find a way to have a happy life. You of all people deserve to be happy.” Her fingers twitched at her side with the desire to touch him. To feel how soft his hair was, to smell him, to feel his warmth one last time before it was all ripped away from her.

She managed to fully hold her tears in until she had cleared the doorway to his room, practically running out of the building and collapsing by her car. She doesn’t know how long she sat in the parking lot crying and cursing God for bringing Jim Mason into her life just to rip him away. And she doesn’t know that back inside, Jim Mason was crying himself to sleep with a broken heart.

----

“Do you think you’re gonna go to the party at Declan’s tonight?” Leah had managed to successfully almost complete her first full semester at school. For the first couple of weeks she had thought about Jim and kept herself locked in her apartment so she could cry about him in peace. Eventually, she had cried out all of the tears that she had left in her body. She thought that if Jim deserved to be happy, then maybe she did too. She joined a couple of clubs, tried to talk to the people around her in class and even asked some of the tennis team to hang out outside of practice. The change in social pace was good for her. If she kept herself busy, then she didn’t have time to wonder what Jim was doing.

“I don’t know. Are you going?” She was sitting under a tree with her friend from tennis, Emmy.

“Yeah that kid from our Politics class said he was going and wanted to hang out if  was going too so I have to go.” Leah chuckled as she popped a couple more cheez-its into her mouth.

“He’s super into you, Emmy, I think you should go for it.”

“Come and be my wing woman! Please please please please-”

“Oh my gosh! Okay, yes I will go with you and help you get laid.” Her friend clapped with excitement.

“I never convince you to go out with me this is so exciting! Will you let me do your hair and makeup? Pick out an outfit for you?”

“Yeah you can come to my apartment tonight and we can order food and get ready together.”

“Perf. Gonna make it so you get laid tonight too,” Emmy replied with a wiggle of her eyebrows. Leah felt the color drain from her face at the mere mention of being with someone who wasn’t Jim. She had gotten over the sadness of their relationship and the end of it but she hadn’t yet broached the idea of getting with someone new.

“I don’t...I’m not…”

“You won’t be ready until you just do it, Leah. That boy broke your heart and he’s a total dick for doing so but the best way to get over him is to move on. Prove he really never meant anything to you.” Leah nodded along even though she knew that Jim had meant everything to her. “Promise me you won’t close yourself off from all attention tonight?”

“Promise,” she replied. She was just hoping it would be quick and painless.

----

Leah had lost Emmy awhile ago. Her claim of going to get them refills for their drinks having been sidetracked by a boy that had intercepted her along the way. Now, she was sitting on a couch trying to not listen to the obscene sounds of the couple making out next to her. Once the first moan fell past the girl’s lips she quickly scurried off the couch and over to the countertop of the kitchen where the drinks and mixers sat.

“Having fun?” It was Declan.

“Yeah that couple over there was getting a little to into it for me to be near them so I escaped to the alcohol,” she replied as she finished mixing vodka and diet Coke in her red cup.

“Maria is famous for being loud, her and Emmett can wake the whole house up some days.” Leah giggled and brought her drink to her lips.

“Are you having fun?”

“I am now.” He rested his side on the countertop next to her so their faces were closer together. She blushed and had to look away from the intensity of his gaze. It felt good to have someone flirting with her, to know that someone besides Jim was attracted to her. That she might be able to feel desirable again.

They stayed in the kitchen exchanging flirty comments and Leah worked her way through enough drinks that she was starting to feel a little buzzed. “You want me to give you a little tour? I know a couple spots where the air is a little cooler.” Now that he mentioned it, Olivia was beginning to feel a little warm on the crowded lower level.

“Please.” She downed the rest of her drink before leaving the cup on the counter and taking Declan’s hand as he led her upstairs. Most of the bedroom doors were closed and had socks on the handles but Leah was thankful she could not hear what was going on in them. When they reached a room with the door open, he gestured for her to head inside. “This is your room?”

“Magical place,” he answered. Leah sat down on his bed, surprised to see that it was made, and Declan sat down next to her.

“What’s so magical about it?” she asked quietly.

“Let me show you.” He leaned in and Leah found herself not moving away, accepting his lips on hers. They were different from Jim’s but not necessarily unpleasant and as their lips continued to move together, she found herself leaning in for more pressure. Again, when his hand rested on her thigh and began to move up under the hem of her skirt, she didn’t push him away. She kept thinking about what Emmy had said; that the only way to get over Jim was to just do it. Rip off the bandaid. So that is what she was doing. It wasn’t as though she had never had sex before and needed it to be special and not in a dark frat bedroom. She could do this. She could do this. She could do this.

It was then she decided to take the lead and speed up the process of forgetting Jim Mason. Her fingers ghosted underneath his shirt before lifting it over his head and tossing it to the side, Declan discarding her tank top along with it. She had forgone a bra that night due to the thin straps and she suddenly remembered how exposed it made her feel to be naked. “You’re hot,” he breathed into her ear as he began to move forward so she had no choice but to lie down on her back. His proclamation wasn’t that poetic and the way his hot breath was hitting her face almost made her feel as though she was suffocating.

“Declan, I-”

“Shh, Leah, it’s okay. I have condoms.” She repeated to herself that she could do it. That it would be better for her in the end to get over Jim by having sex with Declan.

“Okay,” she replied meekly as though that had been what her worries were about. He disappeared from the bed and came back with no pants and a condom around his length. He merely pushed the crotch of her underwear to the side and slipped himself right in without even a second thought. Leah felt something rise in her stomach that was entirely unpleasant. She looked away in horror as he began to thrust vaguely like a dead fish with the oddest sounds fall from his mouth.

“I’m so close.” Her eyes squeezed shut and she prayed that it wouldn’t last much longer. Nothing was more important to her than being able to run away quickly once it was all over. Sex with Jim had never been like this. He always took his time with her and made her feel like the most beautiful girl in the world. Nothing ever felt wrong with Jim. Ever. If it felt bad then she knew they would find a way to work through it and make it good again.

Declan finished with what sounded like a pig being led to slaughter and then collapsed next to her on the bed. “Thanks. I needed that.”

“I’m gonna go.” Leah did not care if she looked cray or inconsiderate but she had to leave. Tears were threatening to spill over onto her cheeks and there was no way she wanted anyone in that frat house to see her crying over sex.

“Okay. I’ll see you around?”

“Sure. We have urban history together.” She doesn’t know why she said that. That sounded stupid. She left before she could even see if he would have a reaction to her statement. Her feet carried her down the stairs and out the door where she broke out into a sprint, pausing only to text Emmy that she had gone home.

Leah found herself under the massive tree near one of the visitor parking lots. It was where she ate lunch everyday and got most of her homework done. It had brought her great solace since moving away from home to sit under that tree and listen to music or read a book. She knows Jim would have loved it too. Goddamn it. There she went thinking about him again. It was infuriating the way he was constantly plaguing her thoughts. The sad thing was, she thinks he was the one person who could make her feel better right now. Jim always made her feel better.

She knew he had gotten home from rehab a couple weeks ago because she made Medina promise to at least keep her updated on his well being, she didn’t want to harbor ill feelings towards him only to get a call one day that he was no longer in a good place. As she plopped down under the tree and stared at her phone she decided there was no harm in calling him. She felt like absolute shit and if hearing his voice even for a moment would cure that, then she was willing to take the risk.

Jim stared at his phone in disbelief as Leah’s picture displayed on it. His first thought was that in must be a butt dial and he should just ignore it but then his mind went to the dark place of something being wrong and someone was trying to let him know.

“Hello?”

“Jim?” He could hear her sniffling.

“Leah? What’s wrong? Why are you crying?” He got up from his bed and went to shut the door to his room. The last thing he wanted was for Medina to hear who he was on the phone with and to start jumping to conclusions.

“I’ve just had a really horrible night. I thought talking to you might help.”

“Okay...do you want to talk about it? Tell me what happened?” He thinks it must have been truly horrible for her to decide to call him. It had been so long since he had heard her voice though and his heart was soaring.

“You have to promise me you won’t get upset...I had sex at a party.” He had no right to be upset and he knew that. But that didn’t stop the rage from pooling in the pit of his stomach. Something carnal inside of him was telling him it was wrong for her to have been with someone else. He was feeling an animalistic urge to claim her as he once had. The image of another man making her feel good, making those perfect little moans come out of her mouth, getting to witness the way cute way her nose scrunched right before she came was making bile rise in his throat. He closed his eyes to try and get the room to stop spinning.

“Did you...did you not want to? Did someone touch you without your consent?” Jim would have no problem getting in his car right now and driving to Stanford to beat the shit out of anyone who hurt her. In fact, he would relish the opportunity to do so.

“No. I didn’t exactly say no. It was just the worst experience of my life. He made me feel so icky and gross and with you it was-” She stopped short of finishing her sentence. There was no way she could put that on Jim. Start reminiscing about how great their time together had been and how much she missed him. That wasn’t fair to either of them.

“I know.” With him, with her, it had been soft and loving and fun and felt like they had always wanted it to. It had felt like forever. Jim hates that he had chased the high of pills and alcohol instead of the high that Leah gave him. Maybe he’d be happier. She wouldn’t have had to experience what she had tonight. Maybe her tears were all his fault, as they had been before, and that was truly horrible. “I don’t want you to think, Leah, that just because we aren’t together romantically means that you can’t ever talk to me. I’m glad you called me tonight.”

“I’m glad too. I knew hearing your voice you make me feel okay again and I was right.” During this brief exchange Jim had begun to realize that he didn’t just miss having her as his girlfriend but missed just having her as a friend. Somehow, that felt worse. Made him feel emptier. “How are you, Jim? I haven’t spoken to you since…” Since he was in rehab and told her he never wanted to see her ever again.

“I’m good. Moved in full time with my dad since Mom wasn’t good for my recovery. I’m doing outpatient therapy stuff, I talk about you alot...I enrolled in a couple classes at the community college but I don’t know what I want to do yet. Was doing some homework when you called.” She felt tears of happiness well in her eyes and how good he sounded. How he was getting better and putting himself and his health first.

“Jim, I am so happy for you. Like, words cannot even convey how proud I am of you and the life you have now.” And how badly she wished she was living it with him.

“Well, what’re you doing? How’s tennis? Do you like all your classes?”

“Yeah I’m the only freshman who didn’t get hazed because they said I’m too nice,” he giggled along with her and was not surprised at all by that fact, “All my classes are good. I’m trying to not raise my hand too much so I don’t look like a total nerd.”

“You’re the smartest person I know, Sugar, so you-wait I mean, Leah, sorry, I shouldn’t have-”

“I love when you call me that, Jimmy.” Hidden in her words was that she still loved it, still loved him and missed him. “I should get going. It’s late and I wanted to write a paper tomorrow.”

“Can I stay on with you until you get back to your apartment? Make sure you get home safely?” And so they did. Leah kept her phone glued to her ear as she walked back to her apartment even slower than usual so she could prolong her time with Jim.

“Sadly, I’m home.”

“That makes me happy. I can sleep easier tonight knowing your home safe.” He didn’t want to admit that there had been nights where he had wondered how she was and what she was doing and if she was okay and that he spent the rest of the night arguing with himself over the merits of calling her or not.

“I really enjoyed talking to you, Jim. Do you think...do you think we could do it more often?” For a second she was afraid that Jim was going to laugh at her and make a comment about her being needy or clingy or say that he had gotten over her so why couldn’t she get over him.

“Yeah I enjoyed talking to you tonight, too. Anytime you need me, I’m here.” A piece of him he hadn’t known was missing seemed to click into place. Maybe he missed her more than he had admitted to himself.

“Okay, Jimmy, have sweet dreams.”

“You too.” He let out a deep sigh as the sound of the call ending echoed throughout his head. He looked at the profile picture he had assigned her and felt a deep ache in his chest before it hit him. There was no reason for him to suffer through these feelings of missing Leah.

----

Her class on classical civilizations had sucked the life out of her. The straps of her backpack felt like hot pokers on her shoulders and the sun was so bright and she had forgotten her sunglasses and the squinting was giving her a headache. At least it was Thursday so she only had to get through one last hellish day before she could sleep for two days straight.

She kept her head down as she exited the building and began the calming walk back to her apartment. It was the loud sound of something heavy dropping against the walkway that caused her to look up. And at first she thought she was dreaming. There was no way she was this lucky. There was no way life would be this kind to her.

“Hey.” It was Jim. Jim Mason was standing only a few feet from her. She looked from side to side thinking someone was going to jump out and tell her it was all a joke. But, even if it was, he was here. He was here and it made her so happy she wanted to cry cause there was no other way to let the emotions out. With a sob, she ran towards him and he caught her in his arms easily. Because they were always meant to be together.

Her legs wrapped around his waist and he held her against her like she was a life ring and he a man found at sea. He started to cry too as her lips pressed shaky kisses to the skin of his neck, spinning around in joy at the feeling of being loved by her.

“You’re here. You’re really here...Why are you here?” He let her unwrap her legs from his waist so her feet could plant firmly back onto the ground but her arms stayed wrapped around his neck. “I should slap you for all the horrible things you said to me.”

“And I’d deserve it, a thousand times over, for making you feel like that.” He smoothed her hair back from her face so he could get a proper look at her. “I did it because I didn’t want you ever coming back to PV. I wanted you to be able to get away and be free to live your life without all those people constantly looking over your shoulder.”

“Sprinkles, loving you made me feel free. I never felt trapped when I was with you.” The tears fell from both of their eyes again as they simply looked at each other. Leah hadn’t changed much since the last time he had seen her, maybe she was a bit more toned from her tennis workouts but she was still the angelic creature he had dreamed about ever since she left. He still looked like her Jim but a healthier, fuller version. There was color to his cheeks that seemed to have filled out a bit, the bags under his eyes no longer looked like they were weighing him down. His blue eyes seemed clearer without the red veins spidering through them.

“Can you slap me before I kiss you? I deserve it and I don’t want you ever feeling regret for not doing it.” Leah laughed but obliged, actually putting some effort into because he did deserve it. He had hurt her. She had been hurt by the one person she had trusted and loved the most.

“Now kiss me, James Mason.” And oh how sweet it was. Every nerve ending in her body came alive as his lips pressed against hers. They slotted together perfectly and satisfyingly like a key into a lock. His thumb stroked her cheekbone as her toes strained to raise her high enough for more of him. Now that he was back, Leah doesn’t think she will ever get enough. Now they knew what it was like to be without each other and they each vowed to themselves they would never go through that again. “You wanna go back to my apartment?” Her lips were puffy and red and her speech was slightly slurred from the want coursing through her body for him.

“I’m gonna cum in my pants if we don’t.”

----

Leah wasn’t even sure if she remembered to shut the door to her apartment behind her, breathlessly trying to rid herself of her clothes so her whole body could feel Jim. Every piece of her had missed him and wished to be reacquainted. Jim only managed to get his shirt off before she pushed him onto the couch and straddled herself over his lap. “Missed you so much, Sugar,” he groaned as he nipped at her jawline, “Wanna show you.” His hands slid around her so he could get a full grip on her ass while her hips began to slowly rock back and forth over his hardening length. Jim hadn’t had sex since the last time he slept with Leah and was afraid that he wasn’t going to be able to hold on long enough to properly love on her.

“Feel so good, Jimmy, missed this feeling so much.” As her pace began to pick up, he delivered little spanks to her ass and drank in the sound of her moans with each hit.

“Want to put my hands all over you. Erase anyone elses touches.” As far as Jim was concerned, no man besides him would ever touch her again. It was that overwhelming, carnal urge crashing over him again. Mark. Claim. Repeat.

“Please,” she whimpered as she felt a distinct feeling pooling in the bottom of her stomach, signalling she was close. Just as she was about to be put over the edge, Jim stilled in a familiar manner with closed eyes and a steady moan falling from his lips. Leah looked down to see that the wet spot she had left on his pants looked a lot bigger than it had just a moment ago. “Sprinkles.” Jim knew what had happened, had felt the distinct feeling of it happening, but he still was hoping that when he looked down at his crotch it wouldn’t be true.

“Fuck, Leah, I am so sorry...It’s been so long and I’m so hyped to see you and be with you that I must have-”

“It’s hot.” He looked up at her with disbelief.

“It is?”

“I have such an effect on you that you can’t even control yourself. I might come just from the realization of the power.” Leah surged forward and captured his lips back into a bruising kiss and returning to her original goal of coming herself. “I’m gonna get myself off on your thigh and then, we are going to my bedroom and I want you to fuck me, Jim. Hard.” He was not used to her being this way but it was turning him on nonetheless.

“Fuck, I’ll cum in my pants more often if makes you like this.” It was true, he would.

“Jim,” she panted as she gripped his wrist in the name of anchoring herself to him and the friction he was providing. Sometimes, when she was close, things got too sensitive for Leah and she needed to focus if she was the one trying to make her come.

“Let me see you, Sugar, everything I’ve missed. Come for me.” With a whine, the muscles in her thighs tightened and then released in the most blissful feeling of existence one could ever imagine. Jim watched in delight as she came all over him and for him. Fuck had he missed the sight of her falling apart like that. “I missed you so much, Leah, I love you so much. I’m gonna love you forever this time, I promise.”

“Promise?” she teased as he stood up with her legs wrapped around his waist in order to relocate them to her bedroom where he had a promise to fulfill.

“Yeah. I brought that ring back. I think after I fuck you, you should put it back on.”

“Happily.”

----

“I cannot wait for you to experience my favorite tree! It’s literally my favorite place on the entire campus, so relaxing and quiet.” Jim had met Leah outside the building of her last class with the promise that she would show him around campus and introduce him to people along the way. Though she made sure to warn him that many of them harbored feelings of ill will towards him. She also assured him that she thought they could fix that.

“Is that the one?” He pointed towards the tree in question, Jim already knowing why it was her favorite based in the nook in the stump she could nestle in and the fact it was shady on this warm California day.

“Yeah that’s-” she paused as they got closer and she recognized one of the boys playing football. “Actually, let’s find somewhere else to sit.” Her grip tightened on Jim’s hand and she turned around in the hopes she could drag him away.

“What? It’s your favorite spot. I wanna sit there with you. Kiss you there.” It was romantic and everything Leah had dreamed of when she would sit under the tree by herself and miss Jim like it was all she knew how to do.

“Jim, one of those boys-”

“Hey, Leah, long time no see. You never texted me back after the other night...Though I see you’ve already hopped onto your next dick.” Declan had broken away from his pack of friends to come talk to her. She never wanted to text him back and was hoping he would never ask her why. But with the way he was staring daggers into her and Jim’s intertwined hands, she thinks he might have expected her to respond.

“I’m sorry?” Jim’s voice had taken on a protective edge. He knew immediately this was the guy Leah had slept with a few nights ago. They had spent almost all of last night talking about their time apart and of course Declan had come up. The two of them had talked through their feelings on the situation and had come to a complete understanding that it meant nothing and was a horrible experience and that neither of them would ever have to suffer from the touch of another again. Nothing else needed to be said about it.

“She’s a slut, just so you know. I fucked her just the other night and now she’s probably riding your dick.”

“Jim,” Leah tried, tugging on his hand but he didn’t budge. She sensed that the disrespectful words towards her were starting to hit a sensitive nerve in him.

“Don’t talk about her like that, got it?” He still kept his grip on Leah’s hand, he’d take on the whole with one hand if she was holding the other one.

“He’s not worth it, come on.”

“Listen to her. Probably so loose anyways from my dick you won’t get off with her.” When he ripped his hand from her grip she knew nothing good was going to come of it. His fist connected with Declan’s nose with a sickening crunch and she noticed the blood almost instantaneously. Leah’s hands covered her mouth as a gasp of surprise snuck out, Jim drawing back his arm again and again.

“You owe her a fucking apology for saying shit like that.” He grabbed the other boy by collar and hauled him up to a standing position, practically dragging him over to where Leah stood.

“I’m sorry,” Jim shook him a bit as a way of saying that that wasn’t good enough, “I’m sorry for speaking disrespectfully to you. It won’t happen again.” He let go of him after that and Declan ran off back to his group of friends.

“That wasn’t necessary. You didn’t have to do all that.”

“I did. I wanna be the man you deserve, now that I’ve kicked the pills and stuff. You deserve so much better than some boy. You deserve a mature man and I want to be that for you. That means protecting you from dick wads like that guy.”

“That sounds a little antiquated, don’t you think?” She was slightly teasing, stepping closer to him so their foreheads could knock together.

“I’m trying, Leah, because I love you and I don’t want there to be any reason for me to lose you again.”

“I know. And all I can ask of you Jim is that you try.” She kissed him slowly, Jim relishing in the feeling of the ring, back on her fingers, digging into his cheek. “I love you so much, Jim. Forever and ever.”

“Yeah. Forever and ever.”

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💘 Madara/Tobirama

Ask meme here

Stuffs below the cut cause super long. Also! My headcanons change wildly between stories and junk, so this is just one take on them :D

Where they first met and how?Since in canon that’s explained perfectly, I’ll go with what I imagine might happen in a modern AU: Pretty much canon but without sneaking brothers. Mads and Hashi are still best friends, and they meet the respective snotty little brothers. It probs happens when they’re young still, so Mads and Tobi aren’t impressed with each other in the slightest.

How long their ‘flirting’ phase was before feelings got involvedI mean. How long they were flirting, or how long they were purposely flirting? Cause we all know they were flirting for years before they figured out they were. A lot of years. The UST was so freaking high it was driving everyone else up the walls.

Who fell for who first (if applicable)?I think they fell around the same time, though in different ways. I see Mads falling hard and fast, like it just hits him and he’s just. Whelp. This is a thing. Where Tobes has a slow glow/burn sort of thing where he has to overthink every possible angle of every minute detail of every interaction until there’s no other possible conclusion.Where their first date was and what it was like?Stoopid boring lunch or dinner. Awkward as crap. They resort to bickering halfway through just because it’s natural for them, and that helps out a little with the awkward atmosphere. By the end they’re both thinking how it doesn’t feel any different from most of their time spent together, which at first is a little disheartening - until they eventually realize it’s cause they’ve been flirting for fucking ever and that’s why it doesn’t feel that different.

Who asks who out and how (with a sign? Spelled out on a cake? Just a simple ‘will you go out with me’?)Either Mads blurts out a demand at random or Tobes sneakily sneaks a hint of a hint of a hint of being interested in a deeper relationship in a random conversation god they’re hopeless

Who proposes first?I feel like neither of them. They just. End up living together. Adopting pets and children. After like, a decade of living that life, Hashi’s over one day all teary eyed and happy his bestie and little brother are happily married and junk, and Tobi just. Blinks. And realizes that, yeah, they’re essentially domestic partners at that point. I don’t think either of them would make it more official, seeing no need to (unless they’re in a modern AU, cause then being legally married might give them important benefits they wouldn’t get as just domestic partners and shit).

If they keep/kept their relationship secret or let everyone know right away?Most likely, keep it a secret for a while, even if everyone else suspects they’ll get together eventually. Neither of them want to deal with Hashirama and his wailing/overprotective nature.

Where the proposal happens and how (kiss cam at a baseball game? on a Hillside surrounded by ducks? At a Disney park?)If they’re getting married in a modern AU, it’s a mutual and quiet thing. Like, Tobi just comes home with a stack of papers on the benefits of being married (shit they wouldn’t get as DPs), and they talk it out. If in the Naruto verse, it’s probably Madara, trying not to make it seem like baring his heart is the most awful thing he’s ever done ever, becoming a sputtering and near angry mess over a totally not fancy and home made dinner.

If they adopt any pets togetherWhy do I see Tobi as someone who keeps a bunch of reptiles? Yeah, they probably have cats or something. And Tobi has his weird animals that he likes to observe and junk.

Who’s more dominantIt’s a give and take. Madara’s bossy and loud, and Tobirama’s stubborn about what he wants.

Where their first kiss was and what it was likeIt looked and felt a little angry. Probably some teeth knocking. Either in one of their houses or outside their first date location; if the latter, it ended as soon as they became aware of where they were.

If they have any matching couples stuff (Mugs? Sweaters? Pillowcases?)They have SO MANY COUPLE THINGS. Not of their own free will though. It’s all Hashirama, all the time. He knits them sweaters and scarves, and buys them all sorts of trinkets that are meant for couples. They only keep them because Mito’s wrath is terrifying.

How into PDA they arePurposeful PDA, they don’t like. Both of them are a bit more private about their relationship. Accidental PDA from getting wrapped up into flirty bickering and forgetting where they are? All. The freaking. Time.

Who holds the umbrella when it rainsBoth of them. They have separate umbrellas. Would never get caught being that cutsey together.

Where their usual ‘date spot’ is (if applicable)Either at the park or at the other’s house. Quiet places are a favorite.

Who’s more protective?Madara. Can be overbearing. Mind you, Tobirama can go off like a beast if someone hurts Madara.

How long it is before they sleep together (can be as in ‘had sex’ or as in ‘shared a bed’)?(going with shared a bed) Probably a while, honestly. They’re both a bit reserved and don’t know how to do the whole ‘romantic dating’ thing, and put off the softer parts of the relationship. Takes a few months and up to a year. After they sleep together once, though, they fall into the habit very quickly.

If they argue about anythingEverything

Who leaves more marks (lipstick, hickeys, scratchmarks etc.)?Madara. Partly because Tobi’s skin is easier to mark up, and mostly because he’s possessive and takes pride in leaving his mark.

Who steals whose clothes and how oftenI feel like neither would be of the habit, really. If a more modern AU, Tobi might steal a hoodie or jacket or two, but more because he needed a jacket and less because of any romantic appeal from it. He’d still end up wearing it every now and then.

How they cuddle (spooning? facing each other?)Maddy’s a squid. Doesn’t matter the position.

What their favourite nonsexual activity isSitting around enjoying the quiet of each other’s company. They’re both used to living with chatty people.

How long they stay mad at each otherMadara’s a fuse and gets over stuff rather quickly. Tobirama can hold a grudge, but it’s a less conscious thing. He reminds himself often there’s no need to be sour about something that happened several weeks ago, even while sneering about it.

What their usual coffee/tea orders areUgh, Madara probably drinks coffee gross and takes it black with a bit of sugar. Tobirama is a tea man, because he knows what good taste is, and takes it with honey and a splash of milk - both herbal brews as well as black tea.

If they ever have any children togetherProbably? Maybe? They might adopt one or two.

If they have any special pet names for each otherNo absolutely yes though they’ll never admit it

If they ever split up and/or get back togetherImma say no, cause I don’t ever see anyone working that way.

What their shared living space is like (Messy? Clean? What kind of decor?)Depends on the day of the week. During work days, it can get pretty messy. They clean it all up at the beginning of the weekend though. Decor: simple and warm.

What their first Christmas/Hanukkah/etc as a couple was likeIf modern AU, they’re probably in Japan, so their Christmas would be a date (cause that’s how it is there, all coupley and junk). Maybe a walk through the romantic lighted areas in the city and junk. They’d probably skip the whole KFC having tradition though.

What their names are in each other’s phonesThey’re boring and just keep it either first name or first and last name.

If they have any ‘couple traditions’ (buying a new mug for their collection every year? Baking every Friday evening?)They make sure to have a day to themselves. Tobirama’s a super workaholic and knows it, so setting the day aside makes sure he won’t accidentally neglect his partner.

Who falls asleep first and who wakes up firstMadara takes a while to fall asleep, and takes even longer to wake up. Tobi’s out like a light as soon as he lays down and then is up with the sun.

Who’s the big spoon/little spoonMadara says I’m not allowed to answer that.

Who hogs the bathroomThey’re gross and just go in there together. No hogging necessary.

Who kills the spiders/takes them outsideI mean. I know this is asking who takes care of the scary spider issue, but I don’t think either of them would be bothered by spiders. Madara just kills them cause he doesn’t care, but Tobirama either leaves them there, takes them outside, or catches and keeps them. He’s 100% that weird cousin who keeps a black widow in a mason jar and takes care of it. It’s for science, of course.

[hornetdiaries]

Sour Patch

I believe that I am a caring person.  I believe that I am the kind of person who takes care of others.  But I also believe that I have a goddamn limit and if I wanted to live with incompetence I would go back to North Carolina’s school system.

    It all started one fateful night. I had watched a bunch of the Walking Dead and was a scared little freshman getting ready for bed at one AM so I could be up in time for my eight AM class.  This was bad when I wasn't able to live off a solid three hours of sleep nightly. Now, everyone has always warned me to lock my doors, but at this time most people knew not to fuck with me so I didn't bother.

    I went to sleep, everything was fine, and in the morning I woke up bright and early and set about starting my day.   It was while halfway dressed, I felt the uncomfortable sensation of another presence.  Slowly I turned towards my roommates bed which should have been empty since she left to go home for the weekend early.  But instead of it being void of life like it had been when I feel asleep, there was now the perfectly cocooned shape of a human, wrapped completely face and all with her blanket.  The only thing I could see where the feet uncovered at the end.

    My mind ran down the list of possibilities as my hands started shaking.  The feet were too big to be any of the girls I knew, and the only man who would remotely attempt this was black which definitely did not match up with the pasty mayo colored feet in her bed.  I realized that I had absolutely no idea who this was that I had been sleeping beside for who knows how long.

    Carefully I grabbed the first thing available which turned out to be an empty juice jug laying on the floor.  It was probably a good idea that I forgot I had mace in my desk.  I began my approach with barely restrained horror, knowing that the main two possibilities would be for this man to either be someone who wandered in drunk off the elevator and barged into my room, or he was a zombie.  Having been fully immersed in zombie violence the night before I was absolutely certain that should it be necessary, I could beat him to death with my bare hands.  I was probably still half asleep even with the adrenaline because I was more than a little certain he was a zombie.

    I took the edge of the blanket by his face in one hand and whipped it off as fast as I could to determine what level of violence was necessary.  I was met with the hideously unattractive sleeping face of the dude who had slept with my roommate a few nights prior.

    “Nick?” He didn't wake up to my call so I shook him by the shoulder roughly.  He seemed to fidget a bit and mumble a few things.

    “Where's Emma?” He garbled unintelligently.

    “She's been gone for a day now, she went home.  What are you doing here?”   

    “I want Emma!” He threw his hands up and then flopped over onto his side, a loud rattling snore already leaking from his putrid face.  I tried again to prod him awake but he refused.  With no other options and time running out to get to class, I had no other choice but to hurry off to global health.  All the while my restless leg was more violent than usual as I waited for the starving children of Romania to stop needing help.  I just wanted to get back, reclaim my room, and get back to what was supposed to be my fun solo weekend of not talking or seeing anyone.

    I was the first one out the door, crossing campus and bursting into my room with record time.  The atrocity was still asleep so I threw my book bag down as loudly as possible.  Then I did it a second and third time, still getting no reaction.  He wasn't snoring anyone and his head was tilted awkwardly to the angle towards one side, his face not showing even a twitch of sleep.

    Beginning to worry I hesitantly put two fingers over his jugular.  When I didn't immediately feel the thump of a pulse my body shot ice cold, the image of my zombie suspicion flashing through my head with the force of a freight train.  But then pushing deeper I found the small little thumps of his gross veins.

    Now that I wasn't afraid of desecrating a corpse, I grabbed him by both shoulders and started shaking him with all my might.  He groaned and batted my hands away.

    “Wake up!” I shouted, actually getting him to open his eyes this time.

    “I feel sick” he grumbled, rolling onto his stomach like a beached whale.

    “Are you drunk?”

    “Noooo” he whined, arms outstretched as he rolled back to his original spot.  I could see the wiggly lines of the Saturn tattoo on his chest, the circle not completely round and the ring uneven portions around it.  He had explained that he had gotten drunk with a friend and he left him give him a tattoo right on his chest.  Apparently he had been given quite the surprise when he woke up with it the next morning.   

    I sighed and put my hand on his forehead, finding him to be running a bit of a temperature.   He wouldn't open his eyes for me but I already knew his pulse was sluggish.  Suspecting a fever, I knew I was completely screwed because there was no way I could throw out a sick person from my room, even if I did hate their guts and everything attached to them.

    “Are you sure you aren't on anything?” He whined at me and so I took it as a know.  I got him some water and a couple Advil, then tucked him back into bed.  Every time my clock turned another hour I thought he would rise and go find someone else to bother, but before I knew it, a rough estimate of twenty hours had gone by where he just slept.

    But finally, after I returned to the room from something or another, I finally found the bed empty.   Relieved that not only hadn't he died, but he also was out of my hair now.  That was of course until later that night when my door swung open and the fake blonde prick walked back into my life, a tall guy following him known only to me as ‘stoner sloth’ at the time.  We had a bad habit of only using nicknames to talk about people so it would take months to figure out who someone was.

    “Uh, did you forget something?” I asked as the two morons ignored me in my own room.  Nick put down his book bag on the bed and started going through it

    “Yeah man I got like, forty-five bars on me from ODU, it's good shit like, you only need to do half of one to get high, that's why I'm selling them for seven bucks each”

    “Wait, are you doing a drug deal in the middle of my room?”

    “Shit, I know they're in here, we were messing with it in the car driving back”

    “Did you come here just to make a deal?!” As he continued to ignore me and fumble with the bag, he soon found that the bag containing his large score of drugs was missing.  His eyes went wide as he became even more pale and sickly.

    “Oh shit, I think I remember now.  We were sharing it in the car, oh fuck, I think that's why I'm sick” the stoner sloth floated away once the drugs were off the table, leaving Nick to pace around the room looking deeply concerned.

    I wanted to tell him that there's no way he could do forty-five bars of Xanax in a three hour drive, even between a car full of people, but I honestly couldn't put that past him.  Every time he opened his mouth, something new and awful would crawl out, and for some reason he had bewitched my roommate into thinking that he was the hottest thing this side of the sun.  Even though living with Emma made my life hell on a good day, there was still a deep need in me to take care of her and put my own feelings aside for her happiness.  I thought of my father and how he would bring out the guns and show them to the boys I brought over, and I realized that my father just wanted to show off guns, not intimidate these boys into respecting me more.  I could either be wielding the juice jug to be the father figure that my roommate might need but didn't want, and make my life better, or I could be the opposite of whatever a pseudo redneck father is.  I don't know what fathers do above the Mason Dixon line.

    “Hey I'm going to have a friend over, could you go back to your place?” I asked, very kindly after he had decided not to leave my room and instead just bide time on my roommates still empty bed.

    “Wait it's that Pierre dude right?” I don't know how he knew that since I was fairly certain he didn't even know my name.

    “I mean, we're friends but he's not the one coming ov-”

    “No man it's fine, I can be here” I had to take a second to reaffirm myself that this was in fact my room and I wasn't mistaken.

    “Sorry but you really can't, you're gonna have to go”

    “Naw, my roommates have sex in front of me all the time, it's chill”

    “I am never in my life going to let you watch me have sex”   

    “Don't worry it's cool”

    “It's not!”

    He persisted on, trying to convince me that including him in my already pretty messed up romantic endeavors was a good idea.  Eventually it got to the point where I just kept yelling at him, borderline crying as I envisioned myself bashing his head over her desk and throwing it on top of all the fucking animal cracker crumbs he left lying around.  Finally he grabbed his jacket in a huff, extremely irritated.

    “Fine!” He shouted, “I'll be back after dinner” and with that he slammed my door shut.

    “YOU DON’T LIVE HERE!” I screamed, already hearing the elevator ping to take his slimy sack of skin down and into the world so he could infect it.

    Sure enough he was back after dinner, and with the return of Emma only brought him closer to my life.  He lived with us, he kept his things in our room, and he made my life hell.  At three AM he would return from his endeavors, come into our room without knocking, strip naked in front of my bed, and then wake up my roommate and have sex while I tried to curl up and block it all out.  At three AM when you have class at eight, there's nowhere to go, and if I did leave to go sit in the kitchen I would just wake up more and boil myself into a steaming pot of hatred that would result in me once again going into the woods to scream.

    If it wasn't bad enough that he was making my life a bigger waste of time than freshman year already was, he was also a complete child to my roommate.  Upon one occasion he got high and ate all the macaroni she owned and then informed her that she needed to go buy more.  He also guilted her into buying seventy feet of bubble wrap.  Seventy feet.  Seventy feet would not be enough to protect the world from him.

    On one occasion while I was trying not to vomit as I listened to him talk, he expressed how mad he was that his roommate had thrown his pants out their window which held his key to the room.  He ranted and raved for a long time about how inconsiderate and terrible this guy was.  I thought it was odd but disregarded it all the same.  Later, as I walked back from class I eavesdropped on the conversation of the girls in front of me, having nothing better to do.  The story I heard would change my life.

    So her boyfriend lived in a triple, and since there were only a handful of them in the campus I had a pretty good guess who this was about.  Apparently some time during the weekend at around three am, his roommate wandered in drunk as hell and proceed to walk into the middle of the room, not saying anything, and just shit his pants.  From there he proceeded to fall down and pass out, and the smell was so horrid that her boyfriend had to strip his pants off his unconscious body and throw them out the window.  Then, when the roommate had woken up he wondered why he was covered in shit and where the hell his pants were.  He screamed at the roommates and then left and hadn't returned since.

    There was no price I wasn't willing to pay to hear that story again.  But all good things had to end and shortly after that I met the breaking point to my ability to deal with him.  During the time he was in the middle of being kicked out for being caught with no small amount of weed.  There was a student trial that would be held soon and from there he could attempt to repeal his expulsion.  So while the end was in sight, it would not come fast enough.

    In my room I possessed a bowl of candy, sour patch kids to be exact.  My exams were coming up and I was a stressed little nursing major, just appreciating the small things in the world that made me happy.  Well who decides to take my bowl of candy?  And who decides that he would eat them all the way to his room and back?  And who thought that he should put the bowl down in front of me as I studied and informed me that he ate my candy before walking away?  Flunk out tattoo wannabe pothead borderline coke whore fake blond douche of the century, Nick.   

    Because not only does he eat my candy, he leaves the yellow ones there.  No one likes the yellow ones!  They taste like someone pissed Into a bottom of lemon pledge!  But Nick is apparently too good to eat yellow sour patch kids.  Jesus spent most his time starving in a desert but he can't even have the decency to leave a flavor other than sin for me.   

    I was more than livid.  At my friend's apartment I told my story of woe to the small group attending as they repeatedly supplied me with wine.  It was in the kitchen that I realized I was just intoxicated to really just let out everything that I was feeling, and as soon as I heard his name mentioned in the living room I knew it was time.  I marched into the room, red in the face and screamed at the unsuspecting crowd,

    “NICK WILL EAT ASS BUT HE WON’T EAT YELLOW SOUR PATCH KIDS!” Which was at the time really the best I could put together.  Everyone stared up in horror and I realize that I had definitely let that cat out of the bag.  See, Nick was a playboy, if one who never showers can be called that, and there had been quite a few girls before my roommate to unfortunately become intimate with his repulsive visage.  There was one in particular that had the misfortune of sleeping with him, during which she had instructed him “Slap my ass” and he had misheard her to say “Lick my ass” which played out as one might expect it would.  Nick was a fan, girl was not.

    However, I had planned to keep that one to myself because it was not just about the horrible depravity of this single man child.  But now that I had presented this information in such a dramatic and catchy way, it wasn't very long until anyone who knew him also knew a weird fun fact about him.  Thankfully though there was no shortage of girls who were involved with him and so the girl's identity was never compromised.

    To finally top off the last straw on the stupidity haystack, my hopelessly puppy loving roommate took the liberty of writing his appeal to the judicial board.  She even brought it to one of the faculty in charge who said that if this was presented he would probably be allowed to stay.  For a girl who almost never went to class or finished assignments, this was an amazing feat.  Yet, the day of the trail Nick was too lazy to come by and pick up the appeal, so he went to the trial and got kicked out of school.  Could have spent two minutes to not waste thousands of dollars and ultimately his life, but he just couldn't do it.

    So had I possibly done a terrible thing to him by perhaps giving him a very odd reputation?  Yeah, but if while I'm not an ‘eye for an eye’ kind of girl, I do feel like deserved it a bit.  Sometimes people go to college and the problems they have in high school just explode, and it's no ones fault but your own.  Nick was just a large drugged up child, whoever he was in high school wasn't the kind of person that could work in college and so instead of growing he just gave up.  I hated him not only for all the crap he put me through, but because I had been that bumbling child people thought was smart or mature because they could look the part.  While I was more or less forced into rising to the occasion, Nick just went back to what he knew which was drugs and laziness and being a genuine asshole.  The greatest accomplishment of my semester was when my roommate informed me that Nick hated me because I was too uptight.  If I managed to be the one person in his very brief college experience that wasn't kissing the ground he walked on and reassuring him that school was useless and he could make it out there without a degree, then I had done something right.   

    But also fuck that guy.

[olympus-summit]

If He Had A Mic He Would Drop It | Nemesis | Re: Shinobu, Solzar, Elliott, Mitsu ATTN: Everyone

Nemesis had arrived at the trial room dragging his feet the whole way and spitting mad. The only thing that comes close to quelling his temper is Shinobu's kiss and quiet assurance before things get started, which he accepts with a quiet nod, not quite trusting himself to speak. That only continues as the trial commences, and if looks could kill then all three Fates would be stone cold dead before Ryu ever opens his mouth, not that Nemesis is paying him the slightest attention.

He listens to the others though, his teeth grit against all the anger he has built up, because despite what anyone might think or say of him he doesn't want to derail things, he never has, and there's a more important outcome here than giving Certain People the lecture they deserve. Instead he breathes, slow, taking the time to get a grip on himself, aware that he can trust Shinobu to share what's been found, even if they deserve better than to have it all on their shoulders. They won't - not the whole time, he'll speak up eventually, he just wants to be sure that he's not going to lose his temper when he does.

And then Sol, Izar, Kadeem, whoever, that guy starts talking and what he says is next fucking level. 

"Are... are you serious?" For a beat, Nemesis is so stunned that the anger actually subsides, and he just blinks at Sol incredulously. Minus the weird anime villain laughter, the presumptuous monologue is almost reminiscent of the weird tangent he'd gone off on at Elliott and Leland at the end of that disastrous trial. What is with this dude? "Oh my god. You are. You're serious." 

It's so absolutely wild that Nemesis feels almost dizzy, it's - it's almost funny? But he's in no mood to laugh and hasn't been for a good long while.

"Okay, wait - I need - okay I need a second." Deep breath. In, out. "Okay. So. First of all, you guys can all decide your identities for yourselves, it's a personal issue, etcetera, Shinobu already said it better than I could. But as far as I'm concerned, I'm not Evren, I'm not Mason Flores, and I never was. I am a goddamn person, before anyone misconstrues that, but I'm a person who a bunch of sick freaks decided to make and then saddle with a lot of fucked up memories from a guy who died a hundred years ago, and I'm not going to play along with that shit. I'm my own fucking person, not some backdated copy, and I'd appreciate it if you'd all refer to me as 'Nemesis' from now on if you refer to me at all."

There's a couple people he'd prefer didn't ever talk to or about him again, but that's neither here nor there.

"And second - you must be out of your twelve step haircare regime mind if you think I would have willingly had anything to do with any of this. I'm a fucking programmer and a world class hacker. I code in Malbolge for fun on my free time for fuck's sake! If these assholes had asked me for help or told me what the fuck was going on from the start, maybe I could've helped isolate whatever fucking code Titan wrote into us and remove it cleanly. But we'll never know! Because instead of that totally reasonable alternative, they decided to run a goddamn ongoing torture circus, complete with a never-ending parade of clowns!" He makes a sharp gesture up towards the Fates just in case anyone had any doubts about who he means.

"I don't care how good their intentions might have been, this wasn't completely necessary and besides, they took it way, way too far, in case you don't remember what Mina said when she put a stop to it." Nemesis stops, only long enough to take a deep, steadying breath. Calm is a pipe dream, but he can still shoot for it and hope he lands somewhere close.

"I'm not afraid of conversations regarding that shit, I'm triggered by objectification and dehumanization. So you can imagine how this is my actual literal personal hell here. I would not have put myself through it, I would not have put anyone else through it, and neither would Hangyu. That's ridiculous. It's so, I can't even-" Breathe, deep breath.

"Right. Okay. Let me help you out with that list you're clearly struggling super hard with. So, based on the letters that Prometheus wrote to Epimetheus, me and the Doctor went back through the groupchat history - you can all still presumably do that at least - and found that the two people that fit the criteria best are Menai and Elliott. In fact the person who fits it best is actually Menai. The criteria being: Epimetheus had someone they wanted to protect, I think Prometheus at least started out lying to them, or at least not telling them the whole truth, just based on that first letter. Second, Epimetheus was supposed to advocate for 'Victory Has its Price' and guess who did a whole essay on why that would be a good option? Menai. Menai and Elliott both supported 'Press Your Luck' as the letters suggested, and they both supported Mina for president. I was actively against Mina, in case you don't remember. Because I was suspicious of her since like, the end of the second goddamn trial. Apparently I was suspicious for the wrong reasons but hey, wrong formula, right answer, whatever." He shrugs, gripping the arms of the throne he's sitting cross-legged in.

"If anyone didn't get a chance to read the letters we're talking about, I took pictures of 'em, so you can come on over and read them on my iRis. Oh, here's another fun little fact by the way - the letters were all handwritten. Kind of a weird choice in a situation where there's a handwriting analyst present, right? Hey, Elliott, you wanna tell us what you think of that? Maybe take a look at this handwriting and tell us if it looks familiar at all?"

Nem's gaze has left Sol entirely and fixed over on Elliott, his amber eyes narrowed and piercing.

"By the way? I personally hate these conclusions. Not a fan. I like Menai, I care about Menai, I think it would be great if Menai was not involved with this whole torture game. I also care about Leland, even now, and so I think it would also be great if his boyfriend who he literally tried to die to be with again wasn't the one orchestrating all this bullshit. I'd love to be wrong! So if someone wants to offer a better option that's actually supported by evidence, feel fucking free! And before anyone points out Elliott being dead - he's not! He's sitting right fucking there! Mitsu is right, you can't clear the people executed because the executions weren't real. And Prometheus obviously would've known that the whole time! Hey remember how Prometheus out of nowhere decided to 'respect Elliott's choice' to be executed? Wow! Sure would make sense if he was Prometheus and knew the whole time that he could choose himself and also that he wouldn't actually die. How's that for full circle?"