#and Kirk as the village fool who shows up everywhere at the weirdest moments

[anxiouspotatorants]

About that medieval fantasy AU for underdog quartet... I have ideas:

- Rory is the bastard daughter of an excommunicated princess (Lorelai). Lorelai ran away to a neighbouring kingdom to not get punished/lose Rory, and she raised Rory as a commoner (a commoner who is more literate than some great scholars in her country, yeah, but still). Christopher’s parents put a curse on her so that if she ever sets foot back in the kingdom the whole land will descend into magical chaos. The AU might start with her and Lorelai already having entered the kingdom again (Kingdom of Hartford?) and trying to find a way to break the curse and reunite with their family.

- Paris is a high ranking lady within the kingdom. She wants to take her lands to new hights and make the history books as the greatest lady they ever had, and has therefore set out on a solo journey to learn as much as she can about the kingdom and how to best run it. She’s loaded with gold, quills and self defense taught by her local knights.

- Lane is a commoner who ran away from home to join a troupe as a musician. Some outside conflict separated her from the troupe and now she’s wandering as a lone bard in search of her band of brothers or her mother’s house (whichever she finds first as she misses both dearly). She has no magic or fighting skills, but she’s good at stealth and catching gossip.

- Jess is a rogue wizard who’s never really belonged anywhere. His mother dragged him from village to village with little ability to plant roots, and eventually left him with her long lost brother before joining a travelling merchant on his route. Jess quickly left his uncle’s care and has travelled on his own, stealing to survive and sticking to himself. He’s seen the instability of sell-sword groups and criminal collectives, and frankly doesn’t trust anyone enough to share a bonfire with them.

- Approximately thirty seconds after Lorelai and Rory set foot back in the Kingdom of Hartford the curse sets in. This signals their return to both Emily and Richard and Christopher’s parents, who both send troops and notices to find and collect them. Lorelai and Rory are thus on the run across the kingdom trying to find a way to break the curse before the soldiers find (and possibly kill) them. At one point they end up in a village called Stars Hollow and seek refuge in Luke’s tavern. But they are spotted by a group of soldiers hired by Emily and Richard, and Lorelai gets caught but manages to help Rory escape. They assumed that the soldiers were from Chris’ side of the family, as their soldiers are more prevalent and up front.

- Like I said both sets of grandparents seek out the Lorelais, but in slightly different ways for very different reasons. The Haydens want to imprison the Lorelais and possibly execute Rory for the crime of cursing the land (a curse that they made but that’s not relevant!). They’re the ones who make wanted posters and dispatch troops all over the land. Rumours and legends spread about the bastard princess who has cursed the kingdom with her return. Emily and Richard, on the other hand, want their daughter back (partly because they do love her and partly because she’s their only heir) and want to find a less violent way to break the curse. They don’t announce their hunt for the Lorelais out of fear of starting conflict with the Haydens, but dispatch undercover groups and sellswords to find and bring back the long lost princesses.

- Alone and afraid, Rory returns to Luke’s tavern and hides there for a while. One day both Paris and Lane make their way to the tavern — Paris in schedule for her educational roadtrip, Lane finally finding her home village and preparing to reunite with her mother. They end up talking and bickering downstairs while a shadowy figure sneaks by them and up to Luke’s quarters. Jess was just supposed to steal some food and pay in gold he found in a dead dragon’s den, but instead he finds a blue eyed stranger. Rory thinks she’s caught and runs downstairs. Jess is curious and follows, breaking his stealth from Luke. Rory crashes into Paris who starts interrogating Luke about the tavern being a secret whorehouse, and the five are descending into verbal chaos before Rory spots Hayden guards and hides behind the cupboards. Lane picks up on the danger and makes an impromptu distraction with Paris while Jess sneaks her out the back. Once outside he asks Rory what’s going on, and he’s soon followed by Paris and Lane. Rory brings up a cover about being cursed by someone and the soldiers hunting her in relation to said curse. The other three buy the story and decide to join her on a quest to cure her.

- It honestly takes so little time before Rory breaks and explains that she isn’t cursed but rather is the curse. Paris is angry at the lie, but little else changes but the motivation to help Rory. Jess goes from «I’m bored and directionless» to «I really like this girl and could finally do something that matters». Lane goes from «I’m procrastinating on facing my mother» to «I’m helping my new friend and have a new chance at adventure (and still procrastinating on my mother)». Paris goes from «This could be relevant for my future occupation» to «This could be even more relevant to my future occupation, also I have a friend now».

- Paris gives Rory the cover of one of her stewardesses, but most of the time the four travel by foot or bought horses as unknowns. Jess does scouting and trap laying for threats while the girls alternate on getting food. 

- When it comes to gathering information, Lane and Paris are the best at gathering intel from other people - Lane through gossip and Paris through interrogation. Jess is great at breaking and entering and stealing important texts for research, and him and Rory are the best at deciphering the texts (much to Paris’ frustration). 

- The key to breaking the curse could be something like “when substance stronger than blood is spilled for the unworthy”. Rory actually gets found by Emily and Richard before they can break the curse and there is a short period where the four are separated and Rory thinks maybe the lands will have to live with the curse unless she sacrifices herself. Then Lane overhears a plot to assassinate her and warns Jess and Paris. The three storm in just in time to warn king Richard and queen Emily, but the accusation of two commoners and a lady against the royal Haydens is obviously considered a crime. They declare to strip Paris of her title and are about to execute Jess and Lane when Rory steps in and stops the axe. She gets deep cuts in her hands and bleeds. It is revealed that her choosing to spill her own blood - which becomes the symbolic substance of her love for them - for commoners (who royals deem “unworthy”) is what breaks the curse. 

- So the happy ending: Paris gets her title back and she, Jess and Lane are pronounced heroes of the kingdom. The Haydens apologize for the curse and get no consequences because that would mean a war declaration and oh boy do we not have time for that. Rory is legitimized and becomes next in line after her mother. 

- Lane gets the title of “royal bard” and returns to Stars Hollow to finally face her mother. Mrs Kim must admit that she is proud of her daughter but has most of all missed her, and after the mandatory bickering the two reconcile. She has also reunited with the troupe at some point before the climax, and they are now a full troupe with tight connections to the crown. 

- In addition to her title and hero-status, Paris gets a place in court. She makes mentors of the king’s advisers and now works to become a royal adviser to both Lorelais.

- Jess is offered knighthood but declines. He tells Rory that he needs to go on a journey of his own and leaves. He returns to Stars Hollow and Luke, and gives Luke a whole chest of gold and the title to Lord of Stars Hollow (courtesy of princess Lorelai). He goes dark for some months, then appears at night in the castle on Rory’s window-ledge. They talk for hours until the sun rises and then agree to make Jess an official scout for the kingdom, travelling around and figuring out the magic and creatures of the land. 

- Rory’s first move after the reunification of her family is to get to know her estranged relatives and upgrade her education through the royal masters. After Jess returns she convinces her mother and grandparents to let her join Jess as an ambassador for the kingdom. She uses Paris’ argument of wanting to truly know the country she is supposed to rule one day, and the whole band gets back together for new quests.