#and I've studied this quite a bit and my educated opinion is

[mirrorofliterature]

I cannot believe that some people on this website are so heartless to be complicit in genocide

[astrobiscuits]

Local space astrology - a guide + some obs

Local space astrology is a tool for identifying the effect of planetary lines in different geographical locations. It's basically astrocartography, but at a local level. It's a great tool to use if you're planning to move to a city, but have no clue which neighbourhood you should choose, which university you should choose, which gym would give you the best results (aka you won't quit after 2 weeks lol)

To calculate local space charts for yourself, you can use this link

I've noticed that the geographical maps provided by astrodienst are a bit outdated, so for the best results, compare those maps with the ones on google maps

(i'm sorry for the slightly cut map😭😭 there was no option to save the whole picture without taking a ss)

This is a map of (mostly) central London. Let's assume i'm going to move to London because i want to pursue a major in arts/music. Generally speaking, the best lines for me would be Neptune line, Venus line or MC line (which is at the bottom of this map).

You have probably noticed that some lines have a symbol of two united circles. Those are the planet opposition lines - they're indicators of the energy that is located on the point opposing your natal placements.

Let's go back to my example. While dealing with my university dillema, i've decided to pursue my higher education on my Neptune line. But which side of my Neptune line would be better? My natal Neptune is in Aquarius in my 11th house. The upper Neptune line, my Neptune opposition line, points out to the energy of my natal Neptune being expressed in my 5th house of hobbies and creativity. If my goal is to become a world-renowned artist/musician or i'm someone who produces an unique style of art/music, then i'm going to choose my Neptune line. If my goal is to become an art/music teacher, then i'm going to choose my Neptune opposition line. The outcome depends on the natal chart's planetary configuration, not just the local space chart.

Now that you've got the gist of it, here are some additional general observations:

🥧 Choosing to go to a gym on your Venus line will only bring results if your natal Venus is in your 1st house/conjuncting Ascendant or in your 6th house. Your body will look aesthetically pleasing and your health will improve drastically

🥧 If you want to study medicine or law, one of the best lines for you would be Saturn line. Choosing an university on a Venus line might prove to be too laidback for you and it won't offer you the possibility of becoming your best self through difficulties and hardships

🥧 For the best internet connection, you should move to your Uranus line. Or find a coffee shop where you can work on your Uranus line (unless your natal Uranus is heavily afflicted, then don't - just don't)

🥧 If you have a lil kid and you need to enroll him in daycare, look at your child's local space chart. It would be best for him to go to a daycare where his Moon line passes through. He will feel safe and his caretaker will closely resemble the way you take care of your child

🥧 Seeking a therapist in a new city can prove to be challenging when you have no trusted opinions. According to local space astrology, it would be best for you to go to a therapist's office on a Pluto line or Moon line, but you can choose a different line depending on your 12th house placements

🥧 The best parties you'll attend are probably going to be on your Jupiter line. The memories you are going to make on this line will last a lifetime and you'll remember them fondly. You are also likely to find your favorite restaurant on this line

🥧 If you are feeling sleepy, sad or just in a funk, going to a park where your Sun line passes through will uplift your mood instantly. You might often feel like you are being renewed on this line, like a blooming flower on the verge of springtime

[indigosfindings]

I was wondering what your background in linguistics is. Are you a hobbyist or did you major in it/are majoring in it? I've seen you posting quite a bit about it.

-A Curious Ling. Major

hobbyism! english specifically is more my thing than linguistics--i formally worked for about 4(??) years as a part-time english tutor, mostly in a structured environment that served both L1 & L2/esl students (hence having opinions on FANBOYS), so ive received plenty of formal training in english grammar, structure, etc, and i have a tiiiny bit of other formal education in related subjects (like a couple classes on etymology) but i dont have any related credentials (aside from a tutoring certification lol)

what broader linguistics stuff i know is mostly (a) things you would naturally learn when english is [your special interest/your favourite subject/something youre trained in] & (b) things ive been exposed to by having friends/acquaintances that have studied linguistics or semiotics

[that-lazy-snail]

Election Ramblings to follow...

So I'm currently studying abroad in Japan for the year (and all the struggles that has presented is a whole different story but!) and the election has literally made me physically sick with anxiety every day for the past week. Like I can't sleep, I have no appetite, I have a horrifically upset stomach. I haven't been this anxiety paralyzed since I was 15, in England with the worst depression of my life and suicidal thoughts, before Trump got elected the first time. I know there's been some studies done on the post 2016 election ptsd but I honestly didn't realize how bad it was, I forget how bad it was and the fact that this year, it's another woman vs a white man, it's worse than it was in 2020.

I literally cried for an hour today, and probably will continue to cry until I fall asleep (if I even can it's 3:30 am in Tokyo right now) because in 2015 no matter how horrible Trump was, a woman was somehow still worse. That is psychologically damaging in a way I can't explain, that the country basically said that being a pedophile and a rapist, racist, homophobic criminal, was still better than being a woman. The bone deep dread I have, that it will be the same now, is indescribable. I don't know if I can survive another Trump presidency, as someone who has reproductive health problems and is amab, as someone who is homosexual. Even if the policy doesn't kill me (which it very well could and would, I live in the South) the stress, constant paranoia and anxiety might.

Being abroad for the election is definitely also not helping. While I have a wonderful sense of community with my friends here, and we're all very supportive of each other and have been doing some emotional hand holding for the last month of so regarding the election, my professors and to be frank the fuckin European students are not understanding. Quite a few of the European students are actually assholes about it and treat the whole thing kind of like a joke (which it's very much not) and use it as an excuse to shit on America and Americans overall. The professors aren't mean, they're just oblivious to the like, constant state of breakdown I've been in for the last week or so. Life goes on here, they watch our election on the news and call it done, for me, it is quite literally my life on the line so I'm quite a bit more anxious and generally stressed about it. I miss my parents and I'm terrified he's going to be elected and I'm going to go back to my apartment, alone and suffer. I'm so scared I'm going to relive 2016, where I sobbed in my parents bedroom for hours, until 6 in the morning except without my mom holding me and my dad telling me everything would be okay (spoiler it wasn't they overturned roe v. wade). Where I campaigned for Hillary and prayed for the rest of the adults around me to protect my future and watched them choose sexism and hatred over my safety. Watched my grandmother say that how her church told her to vote and their opinion was more important than my future, and then tell me that to my face. When I spent that whole year, believing that we'd get our first female president only to have that future ripped away. I'm scared to hope for it, but when (and I say when because if she doesn't I might really never be coming back from Japan) she wins, I'm going to celebrate so fucking hard. I'm going to be cheering and popping champagne and screaming from the rooftops that we finally shattered the glass ceiling.

By God I hope she wins, I hope she wins for women, for LGBT people, for children and for schools and for immigrants and for education and for unions and for tax cuts and loan forgiveness and freedom. I don't want to live in fear for the next 4 years, assuming that it doesn't quickly turn to fascism if he's elected. So she's going to win, cause she has to win, and if she doesn't I don't think I can call myself American anymore.

[purplesurveys]

1935

[chasingghosts @ bzoink]

1. How long ago did you wake up? 8 hours ago. Quite later than the usual; I often wake up at 6:15 AM these days, but today I took until 7:45ish.

2. With a fried egg, do you prefer the yolk runny or set? I like them really runny. I wouldn't be as enthusiastic if the yolk was already set/cooked all the way through.

3. Would you ever want to visit Thailand? I did and I have! I went to Bangkok last year. Would love to go back.

4. Do you like Marvel movies? Do you have a favourite? I honestly am not. After the The Avengers craze I quickly got tired of the superhero oversaturation.

5. Have you ever planned a wedding? Not as the main person-in-charge, but I have been helping Angela and Hans with options when it comes to suppliers. I just give them leads or links and such, but I don't want to override and decide for them obviously.

6. How far away from home is the place you work or study? (or spend the most amount of time outside of home) On a normal, fair day without traffic, it should only be about a 20-25 minute drive away. But alas I live in a country where we live and breathe traffic + the one bridge on the way to the office recently got partially destroyed because of a typhoon, so now it takes me anywhere between an hour, hour and a half to get to the office.

7. Do you have any pimples right now? Yeah, annoyingly so. Left side of my face, a little bit above my lip. It's like when a pimple is close to fading, there's another one that pops up someplace else and it's really annoying.

8. What member of your family are you most similar to? In which ways? Idk if there's anyone. Maybe my eldest cousin on my mom's side? We're both into reading and learning about humanities. We can both be pretty opinionated and outspoken, especially about politics. We're both the firstborn in our respective families who never really got the chance to be a child, so we both have pretty cynical outlooks and matured quite quickly.

9. How do you listen to music? Spotify, Apple Music, Youtube, something else? I've been on Spotify for the longest time, but not too long ago I decided to give Apple Music a try because I've been reading everywhere that it has better music quality. Turns out people were telling the truth – music sounds a lot crisper on the other side haha.

I listen to Apple Music more frequently now, but more so for one-off songs that I wanna listen to because Spotify still has all of my playlists and I can't be assed to re-make them one by one on AM – if that makes sense.

10. Do you think everyone should vote, even if it's not mandatory? It's very important to, as it's a right that you have. Problem is where I'm from, lack of voter education has always led the masses to always just vote for celebrities or whoever has familiar surnames. Unfortunately they have no awareness that it's these very people who are the corrupt ones and keep the country in the poor state it's in.

Everyone should vote, but everyone also should first be educated on how to vote and how to scrutinize every candidate.

11. Have you ever painted a rock? Nah. Closest thing is painting eggs for Easter, lol.

12. If you could have any animal as a pet, what would you have? I'd love to just keep having dogs. It's my dream to have my own shelter for stray dogs.

13. Do you ever shop at Aldi? Do you even have one nearby? Well, no, because we don't have that here.

14. How old were you at your first concert? I was 14 turning 15 when I went to my first concert – this was in 2013.

15. What are some of your favourite snacks? Pringles, nachos, mozzarella sticks are the ones that stick out.

16. Are you religious or spiritual in any way? No.

17. Do you know how to change the oil in a car? Nope.

18. Has it rained or snowed today? It has not.

19. Did you go to school with anyone named Levi? If so, what were they like? No.

20. What's on your shopping list at the moment? Nothing.

[mi4019mariaperera]

Interview Questions - Answered in my P.O.V.

05/04/2024

Hey everyone. Before showing the draft script and audio 'Team A' created, I would like to share my answers for the questions we asked while interviewing students from AOD.

These are the interview questions I'm referring to.

Please take some time to check out my answers down below!

Answer 1

In school we didn't get any projects as such. It was just studying the textbook, teacher's guide and heavy reliance on tuition classes. We never got any projects/ assessments as such.

In uni I would say things are very different. The work we do is assessment based. We learn from our lecturers, get the briefs on the assessments and we have to put in all the effort to complete assessments by fulfilling the brief and before the deadline.

If I were to choose which study method I prefer, I would definitely select the uni assessment. The important fact being that 'MGA' is a field of study I'm passionate about and I want to learn more about. Regardless of how many assessments I get, I would still feel motivated to get the job done.

Answer 2

School did not teach us anything related to the adult life in term of handling uni projects or how to get things done in the corporate world.

In school the teachers just pressurized us to memorize the textbooks word for word and to pass the exam. That was basically it.

Rather than blaming the teachers, I think the main blame should go the Education ministry because they are so stubborn to make a change in the education system for the better. It's their responsibility to organize various work life or uni life programs to give the students an idea of what the world outside school is like.

Uni on the other hand focuses on us working on our portfolios during our first year itself. We are also given opportunities to be exposed to the animation industry in Sri Lanka (e.g. Mogo Studios) and internships during our 2nd year.

3. Answer 3

For this question, I wouldn't answer it based on the level of difficulty, but on my personal preference.

I have been studying the local school syllabus for more than 10 years of my life. The Northumbria syllabus is what I've just started learning. Regardless, my preference would be the Northumbria syllabus 100%.

Throughout my school life I felt like a bird in a cage filled with heavy books I was uninterested in studying. There was no freedom to write down my own opinions or show my creativity in answering questions. All the answers had to be written down word for word.

The sudden jump from a syllabus that shoves so many books into your brain to study and memorize, to a syllabus that expects you to dive deep into your own style of research and gives you full on creativity to answer questions and express your own opinions can bit quite overwhelming.

To put it in simple terms, studying the local syllabus felt like a toxic relationship. But getting started with the Northumbria syllabus felt like I put an end to a toxic relationship and I'm currently single. The freedom given may take some time adjusting to, but it is definitely what I need.

Answer 4

I can guarantee you 100% that I did not enjoy any bit of my schoolwork. I had to stay up till late studying through textbooks I wasn't interested in reading just for the sake of passing my exams. It was absolute torture.

The uni assignments on the other hand don't feel that stressful to complete since this is a field of study I'm invested in. The assessments contribute to the learning process I look forward to.

Answer 5

There was absolutely no freedom towards studying in school. If you want to survive the system, you have to stick to the books.

I wouldn't say that 100% freedom exists for uni studies, but it is definitely much better compared to school. You get to learn new things for your lecturers and at the same time, it's important that you made the effort to learn more on the topics of discussion for your advantage.

There are many things to talk about in terms of freedom, but uni definitely wins this round.

That's all for my answers. I will be posting the draft script on my next post. Thank you for reading my blog ;D

[solitarelee]

Not at all! I just didn't want to bog down the key point in so much Information. I've actually been looking into this for a while now out of personal curiosity because every middle school teacher I knew was reporting similar frustrations and shock with kids in the 6-8 grade level (so that's about 11-14 years of age) being unable to read comprehensively. There's a lot of theories about the source of this problem, and I'm personally quite certain that there's no one source, but a lot of things coming together in a hellstorm: residual damage from lack of education during the pandemic (those years of elementary school are wildly important for development, so imo the kids who were grades 1-5 were hit hardest); severe underfunding and understaffing in schools the likes of which I've never seen before (I cannot emphasize how bad it is and how low the mood is in every single school I was placed in during the last 3 years); a shift in parent mentality (there have always been hard-to-work-with parents, but the new generation of millennial and gen x parents suck to work with in new creative ways and often view the teacher/the school as enemies who are purposefully antagonistic towards their child; in three years I never witnessed a single positive interaction between a teacher and the parent of a struggling child); and, most importantly--we went and fucking taught them inadequately researched garbage. This is the point I want to focus on.

tl;dr or tl;dr-want-to-research on my own: balanced literacy as we use it in America is fucking trash and the leading reason why our kids can't fuckin' read worth shit.

So this whole thing delves DEEP into the psychology of learning in such a way that it's actually very difficult for me personally to explain in simple terms (in part bc it's extremely complicated, in part bc education is a profession STEEPED in specialized terminology that's incomprehensible to anyone who hasn't been studying and breathing it for years). I'm going to link a bunch of resources at the end of this that can explain in much better and greater detail, but the short of it is that there's been an ongoing war between Whole Language Instruction (understanding words and language as they relate to each other) and phonics-based instruction (learning how to identify words through the use of language) that prompted a bunch of people to yell "BOTH IS GOOD BOTH IS GOOD WE NEED A BALANCE" really loudly for a long time. Which is good in theory; we as teachers love to compromise by agreeing both-are-good and balance-is-necessary in order to soothe wounds and hurt feelings when it comes to teaching styles and preferences. Full disclaimer: I'm a firm proponent of phonics-based learning, in part because I don't believe for a single fucking second we should be "teaching to the middle" and while not as many students may """need""" phonics-based education to be literate, a large number benefit, and the minority that cannot read without it deserve to fucking know how to read. Further disclaimer: I have always worked in high needs schools and specialize in special education, which also colors my opinion.

[tl;dr for that paragraph: two english teaching theories (the girls) are fighting]

Enter balanced literacy, which came around in the 90s and was very "both is good." Unfortunately, the reality is that balanced literacy does not really teach phonics sufficiently at all. A little bit of here and there does not work with phonics. You need to slam kids in the face with it at a young age for it to be fully effective. There is a window of efficacy. The other problem is that phonics is hard to teach. It is technical and it is time consuming and due to the ages involved it often requires or benefits from parental involvement as well, for instance when parents are reading to their children or teaching them to identify words, which is often long before school-age. This problem continues to escalate as the peers I went to school with were young enough that they hadn't been taught sufficient grammar and phonics. They were all the kids who were naturally inclined towards language enough to be highly fluent without it, and all of them were born post 90s, meaning there was an increasing chance they had never been taught it themselves. This creates a cyclical problem that I only see increasing in America, frankly; the education system itself loves to change but teachers fucking hate it and are extremely reluctant and slow to adjust to any district or state mandated changes (for some good reason; a lot of times these decisions are made by people who have no fucking clue what they're doing).

[tl;dr for that paragraph: one of those theories (phonics) is hard to teach and has been neglected bc it's hard, creating a circle of 'don't wanna do that' as new English teachers themselves never learned it at a young age]

But without phonics, uh, well, a lot of kids can't fucking read, especially not critically, because they've been taught sight-reading and other unscientifically founded techniques that don't do shit, like three cueing. So you wind up having kids filing into middle schools without the tools they need to identify and learn new words, which you might note is a pretty important skill for middle schoolers. And middle school is pretty late to be trying to teach phonics! It's infinitely harder, it's a struggle for kids at that age, and frankly it makes the kids feel stupid to do lessons clearly designed for kindergarteners. And if an English teacher for 7th grade actually stopped teaching the state required things for 7th graders to try and teach all the lowest level learners how to read, they would be fired out of a canon, because schools need teachers hitting those points in order to secure what little funding there is. Money talks and you have 35 kids in your classroom and after a point all you can do is what will get the students the numbers they need to pass, or you risk your job.

[tl;dr for that paragraph: middle school is very late to be trying to teach phonics, and teachers have too many students and not enough time, so for the children who were missed by the phonics-less education, that tends to never be made up later in school]

So, yeah, there's obviously a lot else going on, as I mentioned above, funding and understaffing and lack of interdisciplinary cooperation in a lot of schools and bad admins and terrible state and federal based teaching policy and Bill fucking Gates and overworked parents and a lack of stimulating public places for children and families and COVID and and and and and and and--

But also, we're just doing a bad job.

What whole language is (by someone who hates it)

What whole language is (by someone who loves it) (and how the terminology is used/misused) (that explains very well why it doesn't work well in American-style classrooms IMO)

What balanced literacy is (a tl;dr style carefully neutral explanation)

A New Yorker hit job that does an excellent job explaining how we got here

Quick question, genuine question:

Why on earth does "more than half of US adults under 30 cannot read above an elementary school level" not strike horror into the heart of everyone who hears it?

Are the implications of it unclear????

I'm serious, people keep reacting with a sort of vague dismissal when I point this out, and I want to know why!

If adults in the US cannot read, then the only information they have access to is TV and video, the spaces with the most egregious and horrific misinformation!

If they cannot read, they cannot escape that misinformation.

This obscene lack of literacy should strike fear into every heart! US TV is notoriously horrific propaganda!

Is that???? Not??? Obvious???????

I know this sounds sarcastic, I know it does, but I'm completely serious here. I do not understand where the disconnect is.

[practically-an-x-man]

Random character asks. Give me one canon and one oc

2, 17, 18, 31

thank you so much bestie!!!

answers under the cut as usual. I ended up kinda bouncing around characters because that was easier.

Random Character Asks

2. A canon or headcanon hill I will die on

Okay, I know you said one canon and one OC, but I'm feeling opinionated today and I don't really know how to answer this was an OC anyway.

Alex Summers is not dumb. Lack of education does not mean dumb. A criminal record does not mean dumb. He's quick-witted and can react quickly in a fight - not to mention, in the comics he's actually very intelligent and studies geophysical sciences. I'm tired of people turning him into a stereotypical "bad boy" and completely erasing those other sides of his character.

Billy from 6 Underground is not dumb. ADHD does not mean dumb. He talks fast and bounces from topic to topic, goes off on random side tangents, but he's not stupid. Parkour as a whole requires a lot of snap judgements, and intrinsic knowledge of physics and kinesthetics. Then add that to the fact that he was a thief and had to plan how to steal his target items (and not just himself, a whole crew of people), and there's actually a lot of intellect that goes into his character.

Just in general, I feel like intelligence gets missed when the character isn't "book smart" or formally educated. Just because a character doesn't spout facts and calculations doesn't mean they're dumb. There are so many other characters I could talk about here because it happens a LOT, but that's a separate post.

17. Quotes, songs, poems, etc. that I associate with them

Obviously I work a lot of music into my fics, but I think Prometheus is the only one where I've made a truly defined playlist (and I don't really collect quotes or read a lot of poems). The song I most associate with them is The Calling by The Amazing Devil, for so many reasons. Here, look at the lyrics:

Back then, I was dauntless And dawn could never know And my weakness made me weep less Than I would ever show you I'd burn so bright it blinded Now I know that light guided me here I walked into the river To wring those embers from my broken heart and broken liver You'll never get your dinner if you don't learn how to get along And a fox somewhere is hiding That light I thought was blinding brought me here I look into the waters and see a face I don't understand We're both unwanted daughters But there's more than water in these autumn hands I look into the waters and see a face I don't recognize Who's this? (Who are you?) "What changed?" I ask "So strange, " she replies Shoulder the sky (I can't wait to show you how much) Open those eyes (I know you can be, just let the rain come) There's a kind (let the rain come down, darling) (Can't you hear it howling?) Of calling, calling

Look at it! The "burning" and "embers", all the fire symbolism! And then followed by a reference to the mythological Prometheus, with the "broken liver" bit! And the "looking into the waters" to me represented Prometheus partway through their transformation into a dream, when they look at themself and no longer see Nyx, but don't quite know what they've become yet. It fits them just so perfectly.

And I really like Wolf by First Aid Kit for the Corinthian too (thanks for sharing the song with me bestie, it's become one of my favorites).

18. What they’d go to see a therapist about

Bestie everyone needs so much therapy I don't even know who to talk about here.

Indie definitely needs to work through some PTSD. Even before the war, I think she struggles with it just from her experiences on Corellia, but it definitely gets worse after the final battle and everything that happened there.

I also feel like she and Hux might seek out couple's therapy at some point - not because anything's wrong, but just because they're both used to being alone and might need help learning to adjust to being able to rely on someone else.

31. If they had a tumblr what would it look like?

Out of my OCs, Jasper's the most likely to have a tumblr account. They probably made an account when they were 14-15 and spent way too long designing their blog, but hasn't changed it since then because they got too busy with college and didn't have the time. I don't think they'd have any blog theme, they'd just kinda reblog whatever they felt like.

For canon characters, this is a bit of a shitpost but I think it would be really funny if the Corinthian had a tumblr that was just him posting really vague rants about his boss, where they're juuust enough bizarre detail that you can't tell if it's a real rant or a tumblr-ism. Sort of like the @dreamofthemaidenless blog, I think

[typeslugs]

PLOG_06

Resisting status

It has now been two months since i started this position. And i feel like i've gotten the hang of the base level administrative stuff. In total i need to do the equivalent of three full time semesters of courses in the span of the 4 year project. i've started looking at courses and there is so much fun stuff out there hhhhh

I've learnt that there are two formats for dissertations. One being the typical monograph, a book examining the topic. The other being a compilation, where you write some articles and bind them together. I think i'm going with the monograph route. Partly because the compilation is technically better for your academic career under the regime of measurements, and i'm a filthy contrarian (i have never made decisions depending on what is best for my hypothetical future career (majored in philosophy and antique languages), and i certainly won't now!). And partly because digging down in a big text is just sort of the point of doing a phd in the first place. Buut this might change ofc

For the course in contemporary debates that i am currently in i've gotten quite a bit into the final essay. It took a while before i remembered how to think when writing academically, but now that i'm in it again i kinda understand why i wanted to do a phd so badly. But this brings me into a topic that has been on my mind a lot recently: prestige in work. The question of status in labour is central to the whole life-project. You go to school to get good grades to get into good secondary and higher educations so that you can eventually get a job that you want. The way that the competitive school is built up relies on a hierarchy of jobs, if there was no hierarchy there would be no competition for the 'best' educations and jobs. There is a reason why it's so difficult to get into medical school. Scarcity reinforces status, etc.

Here the humanities have a unique position. Because the obvious lack of directly connected job markets, education in the humanities is not that high in demand. So if you're interested in those fields of study, pursuing a phd is kind of an obvious goal as it is one of few jobs where you get to do humanities. But because positions are scarce and competition high, there is a sort of meme that once you get a higher education in humanities, it is still likely that you'll work in the same kinds of jobs as you would straight out of high school. That is, undervalued, low paid, rough work, typically in service industry. Being a marxist saves your mind here, because you realise that there is nothing inherently less valuable to working service than it is to do a typical 'middle class' job. And it is with this mindset that i approach my phd. There is no right answer to life, and i am fully ready to quit if it turns out that this job is bad. At the end of the day, this is just a job, and I won't be torturing myself over it. "If it sucks, hit da bricks."

So, one topic i'm writing about for the course essay is 'knowledge work' in digital media labour studies. 'Knowledge work' being a run of the mill categorization along the lines of 'skilled vs unskilled work'. But it is fascinating to see how self important many academics are. Don't get me wrong, it is important to be proud of what you do. But if you want to actually resist capitalist ideology, you need to let go of the notion that you can 'make it' in your career. There is no individual victory state. I am not a better person than anyone else because i have this job, i am not more special, the work in itself does not have values which translates over to me as a person. It is kind of surprising (maybe not) that these are opinions that makes me disagree with some seemingly fundamental aspects in the digital media labour studies field, given that it is generally critical of neoliberal developments. oh well. I'll definitely post the essay when it is done (deadline's in May).

[juliedrawz]

🌼 Big Info/Update on my "Coco" Book 🌼

So it's almost been a year ...

Wow! What a journey so far! I wanted to take my time to talk to you "every dear one of you who loves my art and follows me" for a bit. Now, this will be a long post so keep that in mind!

I cannot remember a year in which I went through so many changes. I grew a lot mentally and I learned a lot. When I first watched Coco, I didn't know at all what kind of impact it will have on me. I know it did for a whole lot many more than just me. It's not just a movie, it's something that moved my heart in depths I cannot explain. Look, the only movie franchise who ever was able to impact me that deeply was Lord of the Rings/Hobbit, but then Coco came along and well ... Héctor! ... and Ernesto.

But talking about Héctor in every little detail possible is planned for another post. There is so much! And Ernesto even more. Ernesto is actually (has actually) been my biggest surprise this year 🤯 And let me tell you why for a little because this is a important part of this whole post!

Villains. We all know what a villain is. When I first saw Ernesto, I was instantly drawn to his charmful personality. I love mexico! I love mexicans, (they happen to be one of the funniest, kindest and most temperamental ones I ever came across and they understand how to celebrate life and death!) At first, we only see what Ernesto can do without knowing anything just yet. I was blown! Let me get this down, he's a musícan with a inrcedible voice (I have an opera education background so I connect to his trained voice), he's a actor, a showman, he's a phenomenal horseback rider and he's handsome! I don't need to tell you about the punch in the guts you end up having later!

Oh, yes! Something I would say! Seriously! I do act like that whenever I am burning for something! *cough* snowflakes quite recently! It was late and my boss only had 1 client left and it started snowing big flakes and I went full child excited mood "think Ernesto and fireworks" until they hit me with their "Augh, snow! Cold, wet, annoying!" And then I literally turned into this cinematic drama queen telling them about nostalgia and the spirit of christmas! *laugh* Their faces 😆 Bah humbug! Truly!

Can you imagine Ernesto in the role of Ebenezer Scrooge? I can! 😆 Héctor, Ceci and Imelda as the 3 spirits of christmas. Yes sir! I want that for christmas! *cough* aaand I'm rambling! I was talking about my book ... yes ... back to that!

Anyway! Moving on! I've told you before that as an INFP personality it's in my nature anyway to think and feel myself deeper into things (whatever they are) and I need about 2 or 3 rows to analyze and solidifying my opinion. That's what happened with Ernesto. Yes, at first I was "heck this guy!" Mildly said, I did not like Ernesto. One. Bit. I was mad and I, for the first few moments, labled him as a villain too! But then I rewatched and rewatched and rewatched Coco and I analyzed Ernesto. And after I went "wait a dang minute!" I realized, no, this man is certainly not your typical "Bad guy!" And after my Dad "an ex-soldier and chef prison guard" confirmed my analysis, I started researching and studying on human behavior, trauma (PTSD) and especially psyche! Now, I wanted to do this anyway because of Héctor and Imelda but it played into my hands with Ernesto. But it also flipped my whole opinion of him. It is a canon fact, that Héctor and Ernesto grew up together and were like brothers to each other and I had the statement, that Ernesto isn't proud of what he's done. Oh boy did that flip tables for me! Because guess what! A true villian is evil, period. You don't go thinking about any redemption because they are that far gone! And a truly rotten, evil soul does not regret their actions or deeds, they are perfectly fine and content with them. I would love to share my whole Sherlock Holmes 🔎 action I did on Ernesto with you but I can't because that would def. spoil everything that is to come!

Ok, this whole Ernesto case has changed and impacted my book! And not only that. The longer I wrote, I got back my grammar and writing skills (after not truly writing for years!) I improved and only after months and then going back to the first half of my book, I realized that many things weren't the way I wanted them anymore. The plot was now solid (wasn't at first) some age/timeline aspects changed! I tweaked some things! Grammar too. And that means I will need to go over my whole first bunch of chapters eventually!

Now I really know where my book is heading! From beginning to end! I now have the silver lining! That also means, the Title of my book has changed! But I will change it in time, not just yet!

The thing with Ceci 👓

Honestly, when I first included Ceci in my book, I, just like with many things, as I mentioned, had no idea what to do with her! I knew I wanted her in, because of that one scene! She instantly had me with her sassy attitude. And since it was pretty clear that she and Héctor knew each other and that she's been helping him not only once, I knew that there had to be a connection. And so I went with it. But that was still raw and not well thought through. That came fairly quickly though! And by now, Ceci is, next to Imelda one of the main characters! She plays a big role and she will be very important for the future!

My Book - Not just any other Fanfic

I know that everyone has their own opinion, view of things and headcanons. This is mine! But while it is my headcanon, I had the goal from the moment I sat down and decided "I'm going to do this!" To make my book feel as canon as possible. I knew I didn't just want to create yet another "great" fanfiction, I wanted to create something that is way more than just that. Something that could give huge Coco fans like me something back. Something that has an impact, something that shares what I have in my heart at least a little! I wanted to do something that hasn't been done before! And for once, I dedicated myself to it, no matter how long it will take, I will finish it! Oof, didn't that sound like something Héctor would say?

This thing has become my baby! 😂

I wanted to stay "true" to each character, stay in line and make readers go "yep, that's how it all happened" I wanted the characters to stay real and authentic. I didn't want to change them or make them do things that would fall out of their character. I knew I wanted my book to circle around Héctor mainly but the longer I worked on it, the more I understood that Ernesto, Ceci and Imelda are just as much of a part of Héctor! And developing their story, they became a huge part.

I wanted and still want to bring emotions across as if you'd feel them! I also knew and now I know even more, that my book is "in no way" for children! It is in everyway for us adults, for teens at least! Because I go deeper and touch on topics that are scary, painful, harsh and dark. You'll see that even more in chapters to come!

Conclusion ❗️

Since it's a real book I am working on, I realized that it is pretty normal that some chapters take weeks, sometimes even months to write. I understood that it's ok to take my time! And if it ends up taking me 2 or 3 years to finish it. I stopped feeling guilty when I cannot post new content fast enough because it just takes a lot of time and effort. And besides my passions, life happens and continues. Work happens to be exhausting sometimes, not all weekends end up being a free-time for me. And there are family gatherings, normal things to do, as plain as grocery shopping. And recently, christmas. But I appreciate every time I get to work on my book and my art!

-

So, yes, I had to get to this conclution on my own. While it is clear for others. And that has everything to do with my personality. I love pleasing people and making people happy. And by all means, I love love love what I do! If I could I would double my arms and work on more tings faster! Sometimes I wish I could stay home and work on my hobbies only but that isn't going to happen for me.

So at that point. I want to say "Thank you!" AGAIN! For all you guys who have been sticking around so far! For all the kind words! I hope you'll stick around for the next year/years to come and keep Coco alive!

🌼 Coco is timeless 🌼

It is so much more than just bringing across a deep important message! It has earned itself a very special place in my heart! It has caused me to pick up writing again, and it made me pick up my guitar and finally learn it! I will finish telling Héctor's story! And Ernesto's along with it! And I am no longer scared if some might end up hating it or calling me crazy for it! Because, like Héctor said, then I am, un poco loco! And I want to be nothing else!

[queen-of-my-goofball-army]

Undiagnosed Autism-spectrum disorder in The Michells Vs The Machines

I'm sure that more well educated people have put two and two together in this film but I really, really want to put my own spin on it from my experience. For me, as an aspie, film is one of my biggest interests. I love studying and more than anything I love watching and rewatching films. My latest favorite movie was one that I just watched last night for my family movie night, The Michells Vs The Machines. I also went 17 years of my life asking myself the same question that both Rick and his daughter ask each other, what is wrong with him/her?

Well, I'll tell you, in my firmly undiagnosed autistic opinion for far too long, that this family is full of people with undiagnosed autism spectrum disorder. When I was watching it with my parents my mom made the comment that "the dad was a jerk" and maybe "he just didn't love his daughter enough to let her be her own person." I thought that was so not seeing the bigger picture even though it was only fifteen minutes into the film. I have felt like Katie so much with my own dad. My dad is a computer nerd and a physics major for those of you that don't talk to me very often. That means in laminas terms that he's extremely smart. Way smarter than I will ever be in my entire life. Both of my parents are insanely smart in their own rights. My mom is a CPA accountant. But that isn't what I wanted to talk about here. I want to discuss the effect of undiagnosed autism and what it can do to a whole family when they all have it and just don't know that they do. This will probably go on for quite some time so you may stop here or read below the cut because this also has the probablity of getting super, duper personal.

We'll start with Katie! To me, Katie is one of the most relatable characters that I have ever come across. She's a film nerd, which alone has made her supremely relatable as somebody who is thinking about going into a degree in film studies. I am more of a critic of film than somebody who wants to make her own film but nonetheless, there were SO many little moments that I related to. The first thing that I personally noticed and related to was the stimming technique that Katie has. She chews on her hoodie strings. As somebody who has chewed on the drawstrings of hoodies far too often long before I was officially put into the Aspergers box. Aspies are also known to stick with one "special interest" for the rest of their lives if it's one that is wide enough and varied enough to make it applicable. For Katie, that's film. For me that's animation. I appreciated that little detail of most of her dialogue being references to other films because as a lover of films and movies in general I could go for days on just fumes and movie references that nobody else understands. The little things from her hair being perpetually messy (same that's a whole ass mood like I just learned over quarantine how to tye my own hair back), only having one earring in her ear at all times, the way that she dresses and draws on her own hands, this was just me when I was first in high school. I was one of the few people that wore shorts underneath all my skirts/dresses. Everyone who knew about looked at me like I had grown a third eyeball.

Aaron, the younger brother, also just oozes spectrum lil buddy out of his every pore from his being. I do think that they should have picked somebody capable of doing a bit of a younger sounding voice (I know what they were going for, but like Ben Schwartz has become a huge deal in both voice acting and live action before switching mediums.) His special interest is actually quite a common one, he loves dinosaurs. I've met a bunch of people on the spectrum that are fascinated by dinos and what they meant for the world as well as the universe as a whole. To me, there was one scene specifically that was the scene where Katie was lightly teasing him when they were going to the half assed dinosaur extravaganza. For me, this was SO relatable because both of my parents will mess with me about my interests most of the time it's when we go to Disneyland, they'll tell me that we actually aren't going to land of magic but to Timbuckto (hopefully one day they'll say some place else just to switch things up.) I related so hard to Aaron's protesting and whining in this scene since that is always my reaction to doing something that I want to do but get told that I can't do that thing.

Linda is more of your traditional mom but I think that she's on the spectrum as well. Just a more... normalized version as opposed to her family. She's able to be a teacher, she's able to interact somewhat normally around her neighbors. If anything, she reminded me of my own mom. This independent, takes nobody's trash (especially not her husband's), strong minded, and amazing mother who is completely in control of everything. She knows the special interests of her children and is constantly thinking of what will make them happy. Whether it be taking a detour for something dinosaur related, reminding her daughter that her dad loves her no matter what, and even something as simple as watching something that her daughter made and put her heart and soul into. I can't tell you how many times my mom has watched something with me. She watched my first anime Soul Eater with me when I was 12 and ever since then has been trying to get me to watch other shows with her. She's a lot like Linda, your loving, but firm mother who just wants her family to work things out.

Whew boy. This one is going to be probably where I cry. Comparing my dad to Rick is... something that I did consistently when I was watching the film. He's the strong but silent type usually, unless your me and he's just this constant annoyance when I'm trying to do something. He could be seen as just a "Jerk" but I think that is the undiagnosed aspie talking. Rick and Katie just struggle so hard to see eye to eye because their special interests can't intersect to save their lives. This, this hurt me because so often I struggle to relate to my dad. Especially when he talks to me about computers or physics. Now I took physics but without having been in quarantine and having him as my live in tutor I would have failed, not gotten an A. This has resulted me in saying things that I don't mean in the heat of the moment when we do argue. It doesn't happen nearly as much as it used to back when I was in middle school but when it happened it was because of one thing. I lied. I used to lie a lot because I felt so unworthy of being his daughter because on my best days I am not technically smart. You want to know how many nations of the world there were in 1991 when the original Animaniacs was airing? You want to hear my Dot Warner impression? Did you ever wonder how to recognize a specific voice when your watching anime? Have you ever had to watch a panel of your favorite anime voice actor just to laugh at something? No, well I did. But ever since I have started taking a quarter off from community college I have realized something. I am not technically smart. I struggle at learning the rules for math. My dad can do this with his eyes closed but me, I struggle and look like a complete moron. It took years for my dad and I to see eye to eye. Sometimes I still wonder if I was the product of some laboratory experiment of what would happen if two intelligent people came together, fell in love, and expecting that the daughter was smart I was the reject. Watching this movie with my dad I saw so much of my relationship with him on the screen. Struggling to relate to one another, fighting and getting into arguments about petty things, and not being able to be in the same room as one another without heated words because I didn't get him.

The scene that I related to the most when it was in terms of how much Katie just doesn't understand her dad was after he was nabbed by the machines. When Aaron asked her why she said those things to their dad and her simple answer was "I don't know." This. This right here was when I saw me. So many times I've gotten into heated arguments with my dad when he has simply annoyed me at the wrong time and I've just blown up in his face. Then I regret my actions and not know how to apologize for losing my temper with him because "I don't know" just doesn't seem like a nearly acceptable answer. I felt this in my soul because it happened especially often before I was diagnosed.

When I was diagnosed, things started to get better with my dad and I. We haven't had a fight in nearly four years now. He watches cartoons with me now to try and relate to me, it's mostly Pinky and The Brain but it's more than I could have ever asked for. I love my dad so much, more than anything in the entire world. This movie is so, so good at telling a story about how a family of undiagnosed aspie's and people on the spectrum struggle to relate to one another because their special interests are different.

Special interests and family's are especially difficult and I applaud this movie so loud because of the way that it was able to treat the subject matter with integrity and honesty. I'm sorry if this analysis got a little bit long in the toof but thank you for sticking with me! I really hope that if you watched the film you loved my analysis.

[montygreen]

Hiii there! Hope you don’t mind me coming at you for nhie talk but I just associate you with it so much!! I obviously binged my way through season 2 in one sitting and OMG I’m so satisfied!! My only complaint is that I really wished it was longer bc damn it all went by so quickly and I feel like we could get so much more of each storyline bc they were ALL SO GOOD!!! I’m really happy with the path they gave each character, it’s so hard for me to even choose a favorite arc. What are your thoughts on the season?

Don't apologize, I love discussing NHIE and I have so many thoughts!! This is gonna be so, so long, I'm sorry in advance, so I'm gonna toss the rest under the cut.

I do wish it was slightly longer, I watched the whole show Thursday and I feel like I tore through it, and yeah I would have totally wanted slightly more with each storyline, but alas that tends to be how I feel about 8-10 episode Netflix shows LOL

Personally, my favourite character arc was Kamala's. As a fellow woman in STEM, the scene where she stands up to her bosses in the lab and puts her name on the paper anyway and submits it was freaking aspirational, and the journey she went on with feeling undervalued for her contributions, especially as a woman of colour was really relatable. (Please let men be less dickish to me when I have to do lab work during the future of my educational career lol)

I also REALLY loved how much Paxton grew this season. Giving him a POV episode and giving him that amazing relationship with his grandfather, just humanized him so, so much. During season 1, I was just totally apathetic to Paxton as a character, since he really lacked a personality (I think this was intentional on the writer's part since he was really depicted as the object of Devi's affections and this perfect hot guy without flaws -- but I didn't make him compelling lol.) My point being, I actually quite like Paxton now, I still have my opinion on Devi and Paxton's relationship, but I'll get to those in a bit.

I also loved Nalini's arc a lot too. I was really worried the reason she wasn't going to move to India would be because she got a love interest in the States, but instead of the show didn't do that at all. I LOVED how she brought a bit of her home to her by having her mother-in-law move in, and I just love how now the Vishwakumar household is an even more multigenerational household!! Also, I just love Nirmala!!

Next, we shall discuss Aneesa, my love!! What a fantastic addition to the cast, I'm so happy to see another Indian teen girl character (my love for Devi is, of course, eternal) but it's cool how Devi and Aneesa both are very similar and very different. I also loved that they made Aneesa Muslim!! My dad's side of my family is Ismaili Muslim, (and therefore it is the religion I used to sort of practice) which is a subset of Indian Muslims, so it was amazing to see an Indian Muslim on screen. Aneesa's relationship with Ben was pretty adorable too, and though I'm team Ben and Devi forever, it was really great to see that episode where Devi had to deal with them dating and be mature about it, I think that showcased some important growth for her.

Devi in genera grew so, so much this season. I think she learned some incredibly important lessons about selfishness and it was good that she had to face all of the consequences for all of her actions. The two-timing decision was bad, but I couldn't even be mad at it, because it fit with Devi's absolute lack of emotional maturity at the beginning of the season, and from that and the consequences of that, I think she's really, really grown.

I loved Fabiola's storyline about forming her own identity as a queer person too, and she and Eve are >>>

Throughout all of this, I've barely touched on Devi's relationships with Paxton or Ben, I've realized.

I love Devi and Paxton as friends, the scene with them rapping to study in episode 3 was adorable, and I just want them to be homies lol. I loved their dynamic as tutor and tutee, but Devi was very right that she can't hold his hand forever (not a huge fan of the narrative framing what she said to him as a wrong, rather than how she said, literally the one thing she said this season where I was like.... wait, but she's right.) The reason I don't think their relationship works is because Devi really struggles to stand up to him. When she's with him, she really had blinders on regarding almost everything else. Like, it took Eleanor, Fab, Ben, and her dad visiting her in a dream to convince her to tell Paxton she wasn't happy being his secret girlfriend (because everyone could see it.) Whereas usually, Devi is perfectly capable of standing up for herself. Because Devi has this idolization of Paxton, there's this inherent imbalance in power in their relationship that just... doesn't work for me, romantically at least.

Also, I think there's something to be said about how when Devi changes for Paxton it's all superficial: it's about popularity and appearances and wanting to be cool, but when she changes for Ben, he pushes her to be more selfless and caring and overall just a better person.

Devi and Ben's scenes this season were all amazing. Either they were FILLED with so much fraught tension or they were just so freaking soft with each other, these idiots have 0 in between. It's very clear that Devi's two-timing hurt Ben so much more than it hurt Paxton (stealing this thought from when Bhargavi @parkersedith and I discussed the show, but ingeniously pointed out that when Paxton expresses hurt it's all about his image how she "made him look stupid" or but for Ben, it's real, deep, visceral hurt. She broke his heart and that's why it took him much longer to forgive her. Their scenes in the finale were so much. Like with the scene in the bathroom where he gives her a pep talk and tells her Paxton doesn't deserve her (and the implication of those words is so clearly that Ben believes he does deserve Devi), the little banter at the dance, and Eleanor being the romcom hero we need and telling Ben Devi wanted to pick him, so despite him being so hurt about not being her first choice (which you can see SO CLEARLY with "Devi, you followed him. At the party, you followed him, and you left me behind") the revelation that he actually was her first choice -- oh boy am I excited for season 3.

If you made it to the end of this ramble, congrats, it was a lot! I still have more thoughts, so message me if you want to discuss the show!!

[revolutionary-demosthenes]

Who is this Meade I've seen mentioned in Hamilton's letters? The only thing I know about him is that he shoved himself up a chimney, which I'm quite hesitant to accept as true.

That would be Richard Kidder Meade, a fellow aide-de-camp to Laurens and Hamilton, and he did indeed shove himself up a chimney.

Meade became an aide-de-camp in March of 1777. 

A little information on Meade’s life before the war and his family is in Washington’s Indispensable Men: The 32 Aides-de-Camp who Helped Win American Independence by Arthur S. Lefkowitz: “Meade was born in Nansemond County, Virginia, and was thirty-one years old at the time of his appointment [to Washington’s staff]. He was the son of David Meade and his wife Susanna, daughter of Richard Everard, the governor of North Carolina. Meade was educated in England at Harrow School, Harrow, Middlesex. [...] Meade probably also studied elsewhere in England as well. A school at Dalston and/or a small private school at Drafton in Hackney parish are mentioned as the two most likely locations. This young Virginian was not a scholar, but a strong and rugged outdoorsman and an excellent horseman.”

Meade was an extremely good friend of Laurens and Hamilton, and it’s even been speculated that he knew about their relationship. 

I think the letter you may be referring to in your ask is the one from Hamilton to Laurens written September 12, 1780, in which he says, “The truth is I am an unlucky honest man, that speak my sentiments to all and with emphasis. I say this to you because you know it and will not charge me with vanity. I hate Congress—I hate the army—I hate the world—I hate myself. The whole is a mass of fools and knaves; I could almost except you and Meade.”

This, beyond being proof of the emotional trust Hamilton put into Laurens, puts Laurens and Meade as the only two people who made Hamilton feel less like “the whole” was “a mass of knaves and fools.” Laurens was Hamilton’s lover and one of the most important (in my opinion) people to Hamilton at this time. So we’re talking an extremely close connection between Meade and Hamilton if he was as close emotionally to Hamilton as Laurens was. 

Building on that a bit is the chimney story, which (yes, it’s true) is found in a letter from James McHenry (another of Washington’s staff) to Hamilton. 

“Meade writes you all that is interesting, and conducts the most weighty matters with a great deal of cunning sagacity. He thrust himself up the chimney this morning, while we were dressing round the fire, in order to be more at liberty as I supposed to read your letter, or hide any thing it might contain, from profane eyes. This peculiarity was soon followed by another. In short, he managed the business with so much management, that had I been less attentive to his operations I must have found out their object.” (March 18th, 1780)

What was in those letters can only be speculated, but that Meade felt it was secret to the level where he specifically hid it from the other aides speaks to it being something very personal and secretive. (as @sunnyrea‘s post I linked above says.)

After the war, Hamilton and Meade kept up a bit of a correspondence, though it was sporadic. 

The beginning of a letter Hamilton wrote on August 27, 1782, (the day Laurens died, but of course Hamilton didn't know that) is also interesting because it in some ways parallels letters that Hamilton wrote to Laurens. (I may have to do a longer post on this.)

“Our correspondence hitherto has been unfortunate, nor in fact can either of us compliment himself on his punctuality but you were right in concluding that however indolence or accident may interrupt our intercourse, nothing will interrupt our friendship. Mine for you is built on the solid basis of a full conviction that you deserve it and that it is reciprocal and it is the more firmly fixed because you have few competitors. Experience is a continued comment on the worthlessness of the human race and the few exceptions we find have the greater right to be valued in proportion as they are rare. I know few men estimable, fewer amiable & when I meet with one of the last description it is not in my power to withhold my affection.”

This strikes me as a similar message as when Hamilton told Laurens that he was “disgusted with everything in this world but yourself and very few more honest fellows...” (Hamilton to Laurens, Jan. 8th, 1780.) It’s a weird sort of compliment-- like, “I’m close with you because almost everyone is awful except you, you’re wonderful,” but it is interesting how Hamilton uses it for both Laurens and Meade.

Meade died in 1805 and honestly there’s not much more information on him. His wikipedia is here.

So, short answer: The “Meade” Hamilton refers to in a letter to Laurens is Richard Kidder Meade, another aide-de-camp to Washington. Hamilton was very good friends with Meade, to the point where he sometimes seemed almost on the same level as Laurens. It does sound unbelievable, and it’s good you’re thinking critically, but yes, he did (twice) stand in the chimney to read letters from Hamilton.

[limitless-rose]

The Signs as school subjects I associate them with

(This is longer that usual and it's also leaning more towards the Greek Educational System as my knowledge for classes in other countries derives from movies/series)

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♈ Aries: Physical Education

Aries remind me of physical activity, lots of energy and bonding with others through team sports. Sometimes there is a very competitive atmosphere but most of the time it's pretty fun and you get to try out new things and get better at them over time.

✧

♉ Taurus: Home Economics

Basically Home Economics was part of the subjects I preferred because it's not super complicated. You learn a few basic but quite vital things about everyday life and that's what I like most about this subject. I connected this one with Taurus because they have a home-y aura and also because they live in simplicity and most of them have their life together.

✧

♊ Gemini: Latin

So the Greek Educational System kinda removed this subject but I think it's such an interesting subject because it's some sort of combination between History and Foreign Languages. It also has some sort of elegance (in my opinion) which reminded me of Gemini.

✧

♋ Cancer: Art

At first I wasn't very sure about Cancer, but I decided to go with art. Art classes themselves might be a little boring because of the instructions you have to follow, but generally turning your thoughts and emotions into a piece of art is wonderful.

✧

♌ Leo: Drama

Personally I'm not very fond of that class (if you have social anxiety you'll probably know the struggle) but it's a very nice way of expressing yourself and making new friends. I also think that through acting you get in touch with your emotions and it also slowly helps you become more confident. I'm not sure why, I just thought that Leos would be a perfect fit for this subject.

✧

♍ Virgo: Biology

Biology has always been part of my favorite subjects, whether a lesson is confusing or easy. I think it's really cool how some schools even have microscopes to study small organisms and learn how DNA is created. I chose Virgo for this one because of the attention you have to pay to details.

✧

♎ Libra: Literature

Literature is probably my most favorite subject in school (and also the only one I'm really good at). You get to see each writer's technique (which is helpful if you like writing), you get to read extracts from many different books and you get an idea of how different cultures and people can be. Some of these small stories that we read have some kind of elegance, which reminds me of Libra for some reason that I can't explain.

✧

♏ Scorpio: Chemistry

Chemistry is a little difficult (at least in theory sometimes) but it's really fun to learn about the different elements and see what they do through chemical reactions. Also getting to do small experiments is really exciting as you get to get to try and make the mixture change color or form or something (it makes me happy to see chemistry labs and things related to it because we barely do anything like that, maybe like once in 1-2 years??). I associated it with Scorpio because even if your instructor has already said what will happen during a chemical reaction, it's a little bit of a mystery until you get to try it yourself.

✧

♐ Sagittarius: Geography

I haven't had this subject for quite a while now, but I remember struggling a little with some lessons. Though it seems kinda boring, it's actually kinda inspiring. Sure, you may not care about the names of a bunch of rivers or the population of a country, but the culture or some places from a certain country can grab your interest. Geography makes me think of planning a trip, and I feel like a Sagittarius would be a nice companion when traveling around.

✧

♑ Capricorn: Mathematics

Mathematics require A LOT of attention (I've made many stupid mistakes because of not paying enough attention), concentration and long logical thought process, which is probably why I'm not very good at it. Even so, I do think it's quite an intriguing subject and it's pretty important to a certain degree. Capricorns remind me of Math because of their organization and analytical skills.

✧

♒ Aquarius: Philosophy

Now this is a subject I really like but have a hard time understanding. It's challenging because of the way you have to express your thoughts, but at the same time it's kinda fascinating to see the development of thought process and theories about humanity and the world throughout the millenia. Aquarius remind me of Philosophy in the way that you might not always understand their thoughts but you also can't help but be impressed by them.

✧

♓ Pisces: Music

So music is another pleasant form of self expression and it also keeps you calm (unless you have very noisy classmates who won't cooperate). I haven't had music classes since middle school but it was really fun to participate in the choir and try out a bunch of different songs. I've always associated Pisces with arts because most of the ones I know are very talented and they love music.

[onemanzerosquad]

New York Blackbeard Diary Pt. 3

Day 11.......Woke up.....Started my day getting breakfast then headed to my neurologist office to get my form from my job in regards to my restrictions. After, went to the library to print out documents in regards to a situation that led to someone purchasing something from a PayPal. Pretty much someone hacked into my PayPal and purchase a monthly subscription to watch a show smh. As I was heading to work, I thought about all of my problems and have decided to take care of all the problems. Feels like time is not on my side in my opinion and I can no longer deal with the bullshit no longer. As take care of the problems head on, I have no problem dealing with consequence even if my body limitations is at risk cause. I'm alone in this and that's no one fault cause everyone has their own problem to fix.

On on to the side story......2012.......

The new year started and I was in a long distance relationship. Unfortunately, It didnt last long. Obviously, communication was the cause of the problems. From there I was talking to girls got into a relationship but that didnt even last too. Then I saw her. Now I'm not gonna write her government name. So I'm gonna name her HopelessRomantic. Unlike every women I've been with physically, I actually found her online. I didn't expect her to give me a chance but she did. At first, we were back and forth breaking up and making up. Then mid year, she broke up with thru a inbox smh. She was right tho, I wasn't doing anything with my life and she felt I had no ambition. It's crazy because before she broke up with me, I wanted to let her know that I finally got a job lol. During that time til September, I was dating and talking to other women but at the same time trying to get back with HopelessRomantic. Then at one point, HopelessRomantic was going through a tough time. So I took an opportunity to help her out. I was making sure she was okay. Then one day there was a BWA (beach) reunion show and since I told HopelessRomatic about my backyard wrestling career, I invited her to the show. That day was interested as I got to see some of the guys even my first love and by the night, I brought her home and "Netflix and chill" happened lol. It was our first time doing something after 9 months of us knowing eachother. From that moment on we were back together but this time she trusted me and gave me another chance of love again. On to other things,in that year I started wrestling officially in BWA (Bronx). I had a chance to wrestle in RCW but I decided not to go. I knew I wasn't going to be comfortable there and plus the only people I would mostly trust would be the DIW wrestlers that I meant in 2011. Everyone else ehhhhh (the white boys weren't really there lol). BWA (Bronx) hands down was the best time of my backyard wrestling career. Holy Convictions Tag Team with Genocide, 4 aces, matches with Loco, Dixon, Dom The Don, my epic match against Gencocide that open everyone's eyes, and the match of the event of SuperShowDown (their Wrestlenania), against Joker. I had a epic time in the BWA (Bronx). Now back to HopelessRomantic. Our relationship was great. Our families liked us together, I got to see her often, I was working, the sex was great lol, and she even motivated me to actually go to college. The original plan was to go study Criminal Justice. Then December hit and after the hurricane, I came from chilling with a friend and HopelessRomantic send me a message on Facebook breaking up with me. There wasn't a particular reason. She wrote like an essay but it had nothing to do with me. I can only assume she wasn't interested anymore. So the year was heading to its end. So I decided to live it up with Black, Red, Green, and Blue Label with some 40s. Regardless of the break up, I still had good year.

Day 12.......Woke up and started my day with a cup of coffee. Went to my job to pick my check check my app to see how much since I started last week and today was pay week and apparently I got no pay listed on this week. So I can only assume my next check will make up for last week or something. Money is always with no value hard to get by but hey whatever. So went on my morning and TD Bank to fax the people apart of my dispute case and unfortunately the bank printing machine doesn't work doesn't work. So another Negative Nancy in the poison air of New York City. After work, I saw my Autismo crew (J God, Weirdo, and Porn Plug). Chopped it up a little bit and by the way F**K WWE 2K!!!!!

On on to the side story......2013......

2013 new year.....still working on and off. Surprisely, me and HopelessRomantic kept in contact regardless of the breakup. One day I brought her over just to chill. She got cozy which didn't bother cause she was single as was I. From what I remember, we were talking and it led to her being emotional and she was crying. So held her tight then boom......we had sex......The next day we were talking and I kinda express to her I wanted to get back together but she didn't want that. I actually cried but accepted and got over it. Probably like a month later, she got into a relationship with someone else which sucked even more. Other than that I signed up for a program that dealt with Digital Media and did well in the program. I was still working but not as much. My birthday but on that day I was sick (for about a week). After I healed, I started this new job that my guy Dirty Sandchez aka Eyevrows from Getaway hook me up with. It was an maintenance job. Did the job and all. July 4th hit and partying up drinking doing my thing. I woke up and got a call from HopelessRomantic letting me know that her Aunt passed. All I had was tears cause her aunt meant a lot The last time I talk to her was Mother's Day so the pain was more. I was mad and I played Dante's Inferno with anger. From morning til night, I beat the game. The one thing I notice alot that day was I had double vision that whole day. I would think that would be gone by the morning but it wasn't. After hanging out with my boy. I started to fall easily and constantly told I looked crossed eyed. By August my left leg felt like I or sprained it. August I finally hit the switch and started college. I was studying Mental Health/Domestic Violence Counseling. First semester went well. All As and 1 B. I even had my own little crew.

SIDE NOTE: One person in that crew ending up being my girlfriend (2016)

During the first semester I was still dealing with my health problems. Things got worse. My hands were so numb that I couldn't write. My double vision was there everyday and I had a hard time walking on my left leg. After going to the emergency room doing MRIs and Catscans and testing my strength with a group of neurologists and constantly hearing that I'm so young (I was 22), I saw a neurologist and he told me that I have Multiple Sclerosis.......

Day 13........Woke up, got ready, and speed walked to the bus stop to get to work. Unfortunately, I got a little late due to the bipolarness of the bus coming on schedule. When. I got to work, I couldn't punch in due to the app I punch in on couldn't connect to the server. After work, I went to see a friend that I haven't seen in quite some time and that was pretty much my day.

On on to the side story......2014.......

2014 came. I finally got my finally treatment after waiting for months for insurance reasons smh. I had to take it every week. I continued college by taking free classes inthe winter semester which was apart of Fall semester. As a result passed both classes with an A. From there my GPA was 3.6. With my education background with a learning disability, D equalivent grades, being in special ed classes, and receiving services due to my learning disability, for a guy with a incurable health condition that pretty much messes with your body depending on the central nervous system state, it was remarkable for something like that to happen. Spring semester hit and once again did my thing in classes, went on dates, and followed the routine of being on grind. Then the summer semester hit and I was offered to take a short summer class and I took it of course since it was free. That morning of first day of the class, I wanted to do the impossible and walked from my home to school (Albemarle and East 19 to Manhattan Beach). It took about 3 hours. Got to class on time and kind sat around or whatever. Some other people got inthe class and informed the professor that they were in the other classroom. For some odd reason I was more aware of a woman saying that then the others. Crazy cause that same woman ended up being my girlfriend by the end of September. We ain't saying government names. So her name for this post is Hermione (she likes Harry Potter). She had tattoos, smart, and she was honest for what I feel most of the time. Eventually the relationship didn't last and ended the same way.......a message. Her reasons made sense I guess (went too fast). Honestly I don't believe time should be a determining factor for a relationship to happen. If you feeling this person then give it a shot but that's just my opinion. Also, in 2014, I officially ended my backyard wrestling career against my friend, my brother, and my on screenplay rival Rodney Banks. It was the perfect ending to the legend that was called Heavy D.

Day 14.......Woke up. Gather some clothes and did some laundry. Sat outside for a little bit and headed back to the shelter and took a power nap. Woke up about 3 and watch One Piece Episode 901. I'm already current with the manga. So I'm basically watching what I already read. That was pretty much my Sunday. Plus I need all the rest for the upcoming days of this week. I gotta say, I'm slowly getting myself together to the point that people inthe shelter are noticing me more as hardworking individual. I'm always on the move and that's being notice and respected by people in the shelter.

On on to the tragic side story......2015

2015 started off okay. Winter semester was a success. I saw Hermione. But I didnt really give her attention after the break up but after we talked, we became friends and that was it nothing more. Spring semester came and I did my thing again and lived the college life but got a job. So now I'm get on my grind and officially had no time for much. Summer was here and my mother was working getting her passport to go back to Jamaica and see her family after years. One time I came from work and as usual expected my mother to be home since she doesn't like to be out late. She nevered came home which was extremely alarming. Call the police and I was informed that she was in the hospital in the city. Got to the hospital and use the phone to locate and she was in the 3rd floor ICU. I didn't know what ICU meant at that time but I knew it was something bad. Got to the ICU and saw my mother........Hospital covered with a bandage on her head as if someone bash a metal bat on her head. Come to find out, she had a seizure and fell on head in the street very hard. I was in tears. All I can remember was that the last time I saw her she told me that she was heading out. My mind was wtf like this ain't real. Called everyone I can call and every got the news that my mother was inthe hospital. She eventually got transfer to a rehab center in Far Rockaway Queens. Things seem to be okay. Then I come home from a hard day at home and I get phone call from a friend informing me that something happened and my younger brother didn't sound okay on the phone. Went to the hospital my mother was sent to. Her eyes was closed. Next couple of days saw her as the machine was helping her breath not responding or reacting inthe room. The doctor spoke to me and younger brother and pretty much said there a very little chance they can help. By October 12th. My younger brother called me and informed me that our mother died........

Day 15......Woke up.....Had to skip gym again. I had to get my mail and sent some emails. After, I went straight to work. After work, I happen to see a face I haven't seen in quite some time and we actually introduce our names after knowing each other for years. It's kind of cool knowing someone and finally just engaging in a conversation (just regularly). Then mailed my my money order to this One Shot Deal that I owe money to unfortunately. While on my way back to the shelter, I started thinking.....now knowing that just about everyone knows that I have Multiple Sclerosis......Hawk's Eye will be on me and my refusals from any assistance will make things a little more tough and edgier. So at this point, I have to be smart on everything I do. But I'm sure I'll get through this someway.

On on to 2016.......

2016 was here. After a hard 2015, I was able to keep the home, still work, made sure my health was good and survived a hard semester. I made the impossible possible. On the other hand, things were different. I started living somewhat a independent free life. I went to school, work, and party on the weekends. I was even going to the strip clubs and bars just living it up with my people. Eventually, I had this feeling like I needed to be what I was and I felt it was time to look for love again and I found it. No government names revealed. So her name was SoReal lol. I knew her since I started college (2013). We kept in contact and eventually we got together in July. It was love again. I haven't felt this type of love since my first relationship. She was smart, hardworking, and very determined to finish college. I was in love. When she felt she needed me, I was ready to help. We went on multiple dates. We talked all the time and we expressed that we loved each other. Other than love, I GRADUATED FROM KINGSBORO WITH AN ASSOCIATES!!!!! By September, I was city bound at City College. By the fall semester thing weren't good between me and SoReal. She distanced herself from me and with that I got less focus on school. Our relationship was so back and forth. When December hit, I got a letter from the landlord informing me that I must pay 3500 dollars in two weeks or I get evicted. So rent is not really being paid by my roommate, I'm barely getting thru college, and my relationship is a mess. As a result, I was still in relationship surprisingly, I pass my classes (barely), and I had to ask for assistance from this service called the One Shot Deal (where your whole rent is paid off but you got to pay back the money that was covered. 2017......would finally bring me to the limit.....

Not everything was meant to be......

Jikai........One Last Time. The Past From The Last View 2017 The Fall Of A Headliner

Mad King Recharging Arc

[loudlytransparenttrash]

Hi, I wanted to ask you a question. I agree with you on a lot of your points about the nuclear family being destroyed and your opinions on it and how it should be fixed, however I've been wondering a bit about your views from some of your writings. I have a friend who has no interest in becoming a mother and is not infertile/gay/75 nor is she swearing off of it for any political reason, she just isn't interested and would rather pursue her dream job. What do you think about people like her?

Heyy :) My views on family and children aren’t about criticizing personal choices on an individual level, it’s about the new trend, or rather the new lie that women are better off and will be happier choosing work over family. Study after study has showed this isn’t the case, women have never been so unhappy in the age of the working woman and those who are happy are those with a family. 

Women have been sold the lie that giving birth is an example of an oppressive gender role and they’ll be happier and more liberated working 60 hours a week. They have also been sold the lie that having children means giving up your life and dreams to become a motherly slave. It’s a sad excuse and an irrational fear by those who haven’t had kids. Look at any of the richest and most successful women in the world and most have multiple children so we know this is a complete cop out. Women today believe having it all means not having a baby. They instead dedicate their lives to a career which could be said is just as “enslaving” as motherhood. They despise men who put work over family but a woman who puts work over a family? That’s empowering! 

A decade ago, just one in nine women remained childless at 45, now that figure is closer to one in four and women with a university education, that figure rises to 43 per cent, an extraordinary figure which signifies a concerning social change. While a child-free life looks fun on Facebook and like a wise decision when we’re young and naive, no number of career highs or one night stands can disguise the fact that beyond your office, there’s nothing but emptiness. The idea of dying without children seems quite unnatural and sad to me but somehow it gets called empowering. They often believe “it will happen after I become successful” but by the time they’re 40 they realize their eggs are scrambled and it’s all too late. Women are spending their lives trying to work like men in order to “shatter gender stereotypes” and to prove they aren’t your typical woman, all while missing out on the greatest and most rewarding part of being a woman. 

As I’ve said in my other posts, the Western birth rates have been dying out for many years now as more women become convinced that a job is more fulfilling and empowering than family. As our population growth declines, the government knows it needs filling so they import in the masses which is creating a whole new crisis for us to deal with. So while I won’t criticize people individually such as your friend, I think it’s important to be aware of this trend and the impact its having. But as always that’s just my opinion on it, everyone is different. Thanks for the message! xx