#and I've had enough especially with the trolls that try to bait me

[yazthebookish]

My motto for fandom drama in 2023:

Fuck off

[cleverthylacine]

Do you ever encounter antis on tumblr? I've seen at least two people claiming to be sabs, or encouraging other people to join them. What should people say to antis/sabs on tumblr?

I'd have to say tumblr is the #1 place where you are most likely to encounter antis--assuming you use that word the way I do.

When I say "antis", I mean

people who think it's morally wrong to imagine fictional characters having sexual or romantic relationships that would either be problematic, flat out dead wrong and/or illegal IRL

often to the point where they consider it justifiable to harass, suicide-bait, or libel* living human beings for enjoying, reading, writing or drawing stories about these non-existent individuals doing activities that never happened.

*Libel is a crime--it means to publish an accusation against someone else that they are doing, or have done, something that is not only illegal or morally wrong, but also defamatory, and potentially damaging to their reputation and/or livelihood. Calling someone a pedophile when they're not primarily sexually attracted to children and have never committed sexual crimes against children is, for example, libel. It is actually illegal. Writing stories about underage people, especially teenagers, having sex, is not illegal in the USA, though I believe it may be illegal elsewhere. Libel, however, is very illegal in the USA. The only reason antis are not getting sued hand over foot is because they have the common sense to not attach these allegations to people's real names.

I'm not familiar with the use of the term "sab" in this context.

Since I'm old, I did what I usually do when I hear people that are younger than me using words that I'm not familiar with: I googled it.

Google alone got me nothing except that "sab" is sometimes used as a shortened form of "saboteur". That made me wonder if you're using "anti" in a different context, because my blog is also unapologetically left wing.

If you are thinking of something political, when I say 'antis', I'm talking about a fandom problem.

Then I went to Urban Dictionary, which is my go-to source for words younger people are using that I don't know, but all I got from the UD for "sab" was:

stupid ass bitch

sexy ass bitch

smoke a blunt (or smoke a bowl)

soprano/alto/bass

strong ass bud

School of American Ballet

Know Your Meme had nothing on 'sab'.

So... I am left with a case of severe confusion.

In general, however, my advice on the topic of "what should people say" is as follows:

Say nothing to people who are harassing you unless you're emotionally detached enough to answer them kindly (like I try to do when people express surprise that you don't turn into a bingo-obsessed geezer at a certain age, or that I don't have grandchildren, because I didn't have kids).

You can also answer trolls if you're detached enough to make them look like idiots, but sometimes this encourages them and you should only do it if you're super bored.

Don't answer intrusive questions from people who should know that the answer to that question is none of their fucking business. It encourages them.

Say nothing to the police or to hostile bosses (assume most bosses are hostile unless you work for a friend).

Don't be afraid to lie to cops or bosses if they force the issue, but stick to things they can’t prove wrong like “I don’t know/remember”.

If you can tell the truth without facing unjust consequences that you don't have the resources to deal with, and you want to answer the question, then tell the truth. But know the risks.

[eisforeidolon]

Trying to navigate the spn fandom with the Jared and Jensen hate has not been easy. I have decided just to enjoy the projects they do I'm interested in and ignore the rest. How have you managed to keep so level headed with the constant craziness and infighting amongst the various fan groups? I always appreciate your thorough replies to asks.

Thanks, anon! Although I'm not always as level-headed as I'd like to be, there are a couple of things that I try to do and remember to keep from getting too wound up about anything that goes on in the various factions.

First, I try to remember that it's just fandom and sometimes fandom is pretty fucking blinkered or just straight up dumb. Especially when we're talking about the opinion of some random blog in their own space, what does it really matter? Opinions, assholes, etc. And that's when it's even a take you can actually consider seriously. Some of the shit like complaining about the way Jensen poses for pictures or Jared sits on chairs is just so inconsequential, absurdly petty, and childish? I really do just find it more funny than anything. Like, you're so determined at that point to fixate on hating an actor you've resorted to analyzing that for something to be buttmad about? LOL, okay.

It's a lot harder to not steam over the crap that gets sent directly to the actors - like the creepy fetishistic RPF posted on the SM of Jensen and his business/projects, the suicide bait/death threats to Jared, and the attempts to slander both Js with faux social justice bullshit. Which, first, mostly come from hellers who we have years of knowing are Like That (a lot of what made the aftermath of prequelgate so hard was the seemingly sudden schism of it). For that stuff, I generally figure J2 are probably not personally regularly wading through the sewer that is their SM, so hopefully a lot of it goes unseen. I also figure that they're mature enough and have good enough support to see that fandom has some unhinged people in it who are acting out for attention and it's not really about them. Furthermore, outsiders with a working brain are going to see it for exactly what it is - butthurt, entitled fans that need to get a fucking grip. That doesn't make it not creepy, not hurtful, or remotely fucking okay, but knowing most of it probably isn't hitting its mark and won't generally move beyond the fandom does help a bit. Especially in the context of knowing that you can't actually stop it because twitter really is for trolls and assholes. They can always make more accounts.

Second, when I really can't get something out of my head, because I keep seeing it over and over again, or one thing or another just sticks in my craw for some reason? I post about it. Sitting down and organizing my thoughts "on paper" seems like it helps me feel like I've dealt with it, in a way? I can't stop bad takes, but I can make it clear that there are obvious other takes which exist and make my best case for why my take is better - or at least a reasonable alternative. That's actually what lead me to make a blog way way back in the beginning, just constant annoyance at really bad takes analyzing the show. I knew then I wasn't going to change the minds of detestiel truthers and I know now I'm not going to change the minds of hardcore J haters, but there are a lot more people in fandom than just the extremists and it can help to see that you're not alone in disagreeing with opinions that can seem overly ubiquitous.

Third, when I still can't get away from something, or even one of the petty things hits particularly hard on an already bad day? I walk away for a bit. Stay only on blogs I know don't play into the drama. Do something else that takes enough of my focus to keep me off tumblr for at least a few hours/days - read or work on fanfic, play the sims, rewatch a canon. Come back after I've had a chance to cool off and remember that it really is just fandumb.

[angstmonsterwrites]

It really, really bothers me when I see someone posting intentionally vague but very provocative statements to try to bait passersby into engaging so that they can shame and drag them as a prime example of whatever the vague post was about.

And it's never an argument that can be won, because there were really no salient points to be refuted to begin with. OP can just move the goalposts as much as they like to make the person they've managed to bait feel especially foolish.

This kind of 'trap-setting' is a form of bullying and psychological abuse sophisticated enough to be both indirect to maintain plausible deniability, and still targeted toward those prone to a defensive mindset and who also tend to crave the approval of a pseudo-authority figure so as to feel 'safe' enjoying things publicly. The point of the provocation is for the OP to set themselves up as that authority figure, and then to tear down any sense of security or confidence their targets might have had. They usually also have a group of dedicated followers or alt accounts to back them up, designed to make their mean-spirited ploy look like a popular opinion everyone was secretly harboring anyway.

And with the kind of time I've dedicated to studying the behavior and tactics of trolls charged with a promoting a specific agenda over the past few years, seeing posts like that really makes me want to ask, "So, whose payroll are you on? Who's making degrading the mental health of western or otherwise English-speaking audiences profitable to you?"

Because those known trolls are the only other place I've observed this exact behavior.

Edit to add/ clarify: Yes, it's entirely possible that some of these are independent actors who are a smarter grade of manipulative asshole by themselves because they get off on it. I don't want to get too deeply into what may be construed as tinfoil hat territory by suggesting that I have some conclusive or exclusive knowledge of who are the paid bad actors, because I don't. I just know what their behavior pattern looks like.

The point remains: It's shitty behavior that I wish was wider-recognized and could be shunned into non-existence.