#and I'm very happy with wandering star as a title

[jellyfishline]

Oooh what's Wandering Star?

Wandering Star is my take on the 'Astarion gets feebleminded' fic concept, of which there's like... several on AO3 already but I need more, okay.

It currently has basically no plot and no outline, but I have a very clear image in my head of feeblemind Astarion being just... a feral, angry, bitey alley-cat that literally will not tolerate anyone's presence except for Wyll, because Wyll has mastered the art of being both very calm and very friendly. Also, Astarion is very protective of Wyll, which is a bit more of a hindrance than a help, oops.

Excerpt:

He pulls Astarion to his feet, which is easier than he would've expected. Astarion goes willingly. There's something inexpressibly unnerving about the way the curse that hollowed out Astarion’s mind did nothing to affect his balance and poise. He stands as gracefully as ever, his brow fixed in a mild furrow, as if any second now he might open his mouth and make some sarcastic complaint about Wyll treating him like he’s made of glass— An explosion echoes from up the street. Astarion barrels forward—not away, but directly into Wyll’s side.

[kigieri]

Resting Stars

Max Verstappen × Reader

What happens when you've reached your dreams and goals? Max Verstappen has just won his fourth world title, and before he has to race again, he shares a few moments with the most important person in his life.

A/N: Surprise fic! I had to post something for our man! Four-time World Driver's Champion! This was written very sleepily during the race, and I'm very happy with it. I hope you enjoy it.

This fic on AO3!

The flat was silent. She trotted into the kitchen after doing her morning routine in the bathroom. Max was already sitting at the table, drinking coffee from his favourite mug. He smiled when he saw her and she returned it.

His face was more contemplative than that of a fresh four time world champion should be. She made herself a tea, before sitting opposite him. "Are you still sure?" He looked at her and nodded. "Yeah, I want to do something else." She nodded too and took as sip from her mug. "Then it seems decided."

They shared a quiet breakfast before slumping down on the sofa. Their sleeping rhythm had been destroyed by Las Vegas, especially after the party they had had. Max had another race on the next weekend and there were still celebrations to be had and congratulations to be accepted, but for now they simply wanted to enjoy the peace and quiet.

"Are we going to get more cats?" She looked up at him from where she had laid her head in his lap. He shook his head. "I'm still going to race, just not F1." He looked over at the patch of sun where Donatello was laying. "When I'm old and gray and don't leave the house any more we can get more."

Silence settled over them once more, Jimmy jumped onto her stomach and rolled up, waiting for her to pat him, which she did. "It's going to be weird. Way weirder for you than for me."

He nodded his head. "Yeah, but I'm going to like it. Doing something else will be good." She looked back up at him from where her eyes had been focused on the cat. "You're going to miss it, even if you don't want to admit it."

He made a questioning face. "Won't deny that I'll miss it, but I'm going to enjoy doing something else, and I can always go back. Someone's bound to take me. But I don't think I will. I'll just enjoy life, racing, being with you, with the cats. Not a care in the world." She cuddled closer to him, if that was humanely possible, and let her eyes drift back to Jimmy.

Max looked down at her, thinking about the ring box that was securely hidden away between his Sim gear. Life would be very different, but he was more than happy with that. His time had come and gone, not in the eyes of others, but in his own. He had loved racing in F1 with his whole heart, but that heart beat for racing, not only in a single category, so he wanted to see more of the world, more of racing. There was so much to be explored, and he had reached his goals in Formula 1.

His retirement would surprise some, but not others. He would be happy with it, had made peace with it before he had voiced the idea for the first time. At this moment, while sitting with her head in his lap, looking out of the window into Monaco, he knew that this decision would change his life, but he also knew it would be a change he welcomed.

"Ik hou van je." His words were clear and steady and as she looked up at him her smile spread all over her face and her eyes were shinning. "I love you too." Max hand wandered over to hers, where she was stroking Jimmy, and squeezed it shortly, before also starting to stroke the cat. It would be a new, and very welcomed, part of his life.

@kigieri 2024. All rights reserved. Do not copy, steal, translate or repost any of my work.

[hotlikewasabi521]

imagine, if you will, a sbg fantasy au

I don't know if anyone's done this yet but here we go! I'm a huge fantasy nerd, so I might be biased here, but I think sbg in a fantasy setting would go hard. now you could really throw in any ships, but personally, I built this idea around Tyden and Taylyn

so consider this:

(fair warning, this got a lot longer than I thought it would, I kinda ran with it)

Tyler and Taylor are the prince and princess of the kingdom, but they've essentially been running the country since they became teenagers what with their father having passed away and their mother being unfit to rule due to her mental state after her husband's passing. After their father died, Tyler still takes on the role of caretaker of sorts. Sometimes he even has a habit of burning himself out, Taylor and Ashlyn have to remind him often that it's okay to take a break. Ashlyn actually pulled him to the side one night and practically forced him to let Taylor start taking on more responsibilities, just so that he wouldn't fall under the weight of the kingdom.

On the subject of Ashlyn, her parents served in the king and queen's royal guard, and she even followed in her parent's footsteps. Considering both her lineage and the fact that she basically grew up with Tyler and Taylor, she winds up becoming the personal guard of the prince and princess(the twins) and the acting captain of the royal guard once she's deemed ready (which considering it's Ashlyn, is relatively quick). When it comes to her hearing, she'd definitely have some sort of wool or something put in her helmet to help muffle any loud noises. But her hearing also makes her a perfect guard, even allowing her to keep surveillance a fair distance away.

Eventually, it comes a time when the advisers decide that Tyler is of an age that he needs to find a suitor. The twins manage to fight it for as long as they can but when they turn 19, there's no getting around it. This would be around the time that Aiden and Ben show up, though for an unrelated reason.

See, Aiden is a prince himself, and Ben is a nobleman(title unknown) with close blood relation to the throne as well. Aiden isn't exactly all that into being a prince though, he'd rather go out, have fun, and be an adventurer (which is exactly what he's doing in the twin's kingdom) Ben is there to make sure Aiden doesn't get himself killed or cause any trouble with any foreign powers (friendly or otherwise).

As for Logan, well, his knack for astrology isn't going to waste, that's for sure. See, he's the apprentice of the kingdom's Royal Astronomer. And he absolutely loves it. Not only does he get to study the stars and be able to help support his grandparents, who would still run a flower shop in the capital's town square

Now of course rumors floating around the castle staff that Taylor has a secret love. Granted they can never catch a glimpse of the mystery suitor, (thanks to Ashlyn's super hearing) but the kitchen staff has it on good authority that it's someone from the royal guard. (Ashlyn and Taylor likely would have kept their relationship on the down-low for a bit in the beginning, but would eventually take it public, I mean, who's gonna stop them? the twins run the country, and of course, their mom just wants them to be happy and maybe give her a grandkid or two if either of them wants to have any)

That being said, the idea of little secret late-night rendevous where they wander the castle grounds talking and maybe wind up stargazing in the gardens is too good to pass up (They may not know as much about astronomy as say Logan, but they would definitely make up their own constellations and stories to go with them)

As for our other pair: Naturally, Tyler has a very strong opinion of Aiden. He's not exactly princely, and he does NOT like the fact his attitude when it comes to the politics of being in a royal family. But at the same time, this not-so-princely prince isn't like any other noble or royal he's ever met. He's intrigued. Deep down, there's a part of Tyler that wants to know more about Aiden and the world that he's gotten to explore and adventure through.

In the end, Aiden may or may not be the one who manages to get Tyler to enjoy his youth while he can, convincing him that the weight of the world doesn't have to fall on his shoulders alone. And Tyler may or may not have found himself a suitor in the process.

[causenessus]

YAY CONGRATS ON 1k!! you totally deserve it and your work is phenomenal and i can’t wait to see what else you make <3

for the event.. could i get a fluff 📚 fic w/ kuroo where the reader helps him find a book as a library aid??

see you again. | kuroo t.

kuroo x f!reader

written in 3rd pov

one word prompt from 1k followers event: 📚 -> library

"my heart's on mars, kinda hard to see, but you know i'll see you again <3" from when will i see you again by shakka (DOES NOT fit the vibes at all i mean kind of in my delusional brain but i just like the song and it fits the title <3)

word count: 1.9k words

notes: lots of fluff!! kuroo being down bad for the reader upon first meeting her, reader also being down bad. kuroo being a nerd bc man could be sexy or flirt to save his life <3 bokuto being the real star of this entire follower event apparently who knows how many more fics he's gonna make it into. also this was really fun to write bc little lore drop but one year in high school i once got kicked out of a class (very convoluted thing, they thought the class was triggering me which was lowkey a fair statement) so i got to be a library aide instead <333 i'm going to say this is not edited bc i don't want to deal with my mistakes or take responsibility for them. THANK U FOR THIS REQUEST WYR!! I LOVE YOU SM <3 I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS FIC

although she enjoyed the solace of re-shelving books on her own, she enjoyed helping others just as much. it was like getting snippets of people’s lives through the books they were in search of. sometimes students came in looking for books for classes, which allowed her to meddle a little into just how many majors her school really offered, and how niche they could be. others came in looking for books to pass the time and she was always happy to recommend one of her favorites if they were open to suggestions.

while some of the other aides were there because they saw the job as an easy, quick way to make some extra money, she took pleasure in her job. when lost students came up to the counter asking for help locating a book, most of the aides felt that they had done their job well when they gave the student some kind of cryptic number and last name to scour the shelves for in return. however, numbers revealed nothing of where a single book could be in a large room piled with books that lined and stuffed every shelf and corner they could fit into.

she often took it upon herself to go on a search with the students who came to her for help. she’d consult the system for where a book was located and then lead the student to where the book was located rather than just sending them on their way. sometimes it took a few minutes to find what they were looking for, but they always found it in the end.

asking someone to wander around a university’s library and expecting them to know where a book labeled “796.31 dearing” was located was the equivalent to asking them to find a needle in a haystack. she didn’t expect anyone to know where a book was right off the bat; that was her job, and she was happy to help.

kuroo always dreaded going to the library. he dreaded everything about it. he loathed having to be quiet, aware of every noise he made, every rustle of his pant legs brushing against each other, and he hated trying to find the single book he was looking for amongst thousands of others. sometimes he felt like he'd be better off pirating a pdf version of a book off the internet, but it never appealed to him as much as a physical book.

over lunch with bokuto one day, he had rubbed a hand down his face and groaned at the thought of even stepping foot into the library, “i have to get a book for one of my social science classes, but do you know how hard they make it to find any kind of science book?”

“you should ask for y/n!” bokuto responded with a mouth full of food, “she’s really nice, she actually walked with me to help find the book i was looking for.”

“you went to the library to get a book? i would’ve expected you to just sparknote it,” kuroo teased with a sleazy grin.

his friend huffed, crossing his arms, “you should have more faith in me! i did read the book, but... it was because my professor had already caught me using sparknotes and said she’d fail me if she caught me using it again...” he trailed off and kuroo laughed.

“i think you just proved your own point wrong, buddy,” he rested his hand in his palm, looking down at the table they were sitting at. “you said her name’s y/n? what’s she look like?”

“mm, i don’t remember,” bokuto said, after a thoughtful pause, “she’s probably wearing a nametag, though. or just ask for y/n! someone will direct you to her.”

“that’s weird, man. what am i supposed to tell her when she questions why i specifically asked for her?” he responded with a sigh.

“just tell her i sent you! she knows me pretty well now, she won’t mind,” the dual hair colored boy shrugged before shoving more food into his mouth, “it’s that or search on your own for your book, but i’d say just find y/n, she can help.”

bokuto had a way of making everything seem like it would turn out fine, but all that confidence left him the moment he walked through the library doors. all he knew was he was on the lookout for a girl; nothing about what she looked like, just her name.

he could pretend to be cool and suave from afar, but when it came to actual interactions, he was never the best at maintaining his composure. he always talked too fast, or would regrettably talk more than was acceptable by his standards.

he settled for trying to find the book himself first. it was some kind of book about behavior, by a last name he thought sounded slightly like a serial killer. if he couldn’t even remember the author’s name, he was helpless. was it even worth trying to find someone to help him? or would he just make a fool of himself trying to describe the book he was looking for?

but he needed to find this book tonight, he knew that. he’d already put off reading it for long enough, and his deadline was coming up. knowing his grade was at risk, he defeatedly dragged his feet to the foot counter. it was impossible for him to casually stand there, looking at people’s name tags, and a girl at a computer was already looking at him, waiting patiently for him to tell her what he needed.

“uh–” he started off, trying to keep his voice low, “is y/n working tonight?”

the girl’s eyebrows knitted together, and he was distracted by the way her lips pursed before he tried to focus on her eyes instead, “that’s me. did you need something?”

perhaps it was luckier that he had found her on his first try rather than walking around like an idiot looking for a mysterious girl, but he couldn’t help worrying about how this interaction was already off to a bad start. he couldn’t believe bokuto could ever forget a face like hers when he was sure it’d be stuck in his head for weeks. “yeah, i’m looking for a book…?” he cringed at his own words. what else would he be here for? she only raised her brows, waiting for him to continue. “it’s um, a book on behaviorism i think. i’m majoring in sports management and i need this book for a social sciences class but i don’t remember what it’s called.”

his honesty made the corner of her lips lift, and he found himself staring again. she had to be wearing lipstick; there was no way her lips could be that red. “behaviorism? and you don’t remember what the book is called? what about the author?”

he shook his head. did he tell her his analogy? he’d already made a stupid first impression, “i don’t remember what his name was, but it sort of sounded like…”

“like a serial killer?” she finished, eyes flicking up to his own.

his own brows raised in surprise, “yeah, how did you know?”

she laughed softly at his remark, “i took a psychology class. it’s how i remembered his name too. i called him beef skinner, but his name’s b.f. skinner.” he found his own lips turning up, and they shared a smile before she cleared her throat, turning back to her screen. he watched her fingers fly across the keyboard under her hands before she turned her monitor screen around so he could see it. “does this cover look familiar? maybe by the title?”

it was a simple cover, dark blue with a tri-colored atom at the bottom. the title was written in bold capital letters: Science and Human Behavior. it clicked with him as he read the title and he could only nod, dumbfounded as she returned the screen back to its normal position.

“that’s exactly it. you’re like a genius, i can’t believe you found it based on three basic words,” he complimented, watching as she stood up, dusting off her pencil skirt. 

he felt a puff of pride in his chest, seeing the way she smiled at his words. “it’s my job,” she laughed again, “i think i had someone else come in looking for it a few days ago. too. call it good timing. your book should be somewhere in the 300s, i’ll lead you there.”

she waved a hand, motioning for him to follow as she came around the side of the counter and he was quick to follow. they walked along the aisles, her head tilting up ever so often to look up at the number plates adorning each shelf. “if you don’t mind me asking, how did you know my name?” she asked, turning back to him.

he fell into step walking alongside her as he hummed in thought, “i had a friend that mentioned you. i always get lost coming here and i was telling him about it and he said i should try to find you because you’re really nice.”

“aw,” she commented with a small smile as they turned down an aisle, “that was sweet of him to say. i’m glad i could help.”

their conversation went silent as they continued walking, and he found himself tugging at the collar of his sweater nervously. “he was right,” he mumbled.

“what was that?” she looked at him again, and he inhaled sharply again, looking into her eyes.

“nothing. i mean—i was just saying my friend was right. you’re very nice,” he spoke quickly, averting his eyes towards the floor. this was what he’d meant when he said he always talked too much; he really needed to learn to keep his thoughts in.

but when she laughed at his compliment, he thought maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to make a fool of himself if he could hear her voice again. “thank you, i’m glad to hear that. what was your name, again?” she asked, a blush dusting her cheeks. she couldn’t believe she was letting a boy’s words affect her in such a way when she didn’t even know his name.

he was thinking the same thing; how had telling her his name completely slipped his mind? “kuroo,” he said, stopping when she stopped, crouching to run her fingers along the spines of a row of books close to the ground. “my name’s kuroo tetsuro.”

“well, kuroo,” she said, standing back up and looking at him with that smile of hers. paired with the sound of his name on her tongue, he felt like he was going to pass out. “it was nice to meet you. and here’s your book. maybe i’ll see you again?”

“definitely,” he said too quickly, but it was worth it to watch her nose scrunch as she laughed, “i’ll definitely come back, it what meant. um, not just to see you. well— actually— it’d be kind of nice if maybe we saw each other again. maybe over dinner? could i get your number?”

“yes,” she answered, and when she bit her lip, trying to stop the way her smile had grew, he felt like he was standing in front of angel, “to all of that. meet me back at the counter?”

"okay," he breathed, watching her walk off, her hands grabbing fists full of her skirt. maybe the library wasn't as bad as he thought, after all.

[nothoughtsonlytrance]

@amyoffline back with the playlist recs. this got pretty out of scope (sorry, listened to tell all your friends for the 3248765th time??? forgot the specific purpose of your playlist??? it's 5am now???), but in no particular order:

weyes blood, "the worst is done"

adult mom, "be your own 3am"

scarpa, "an infinite mass..." [the full title is very long but you'll find it on spotify]

paramore, "the news"

portishead, "wandering star" [depression groove fr]

japanese breakfast, "the body is a blade"

the cranberries, "dreaming my dreams"

angel olsen, "through the fires"

fall out boy, "what a time to be alive"

mitski, "working for the knife"

florence + the machine, "girls against god" [for sister daniel]

taking back sunday, "my blue heaven"

waxahatchee, "right back to it"

sarah kinsley, "there was a room"

mazzy star, "happy"

coldplay, "everything's not lost"

the strokes, "bad decisions"

twenty one pilots, "ode to sleep" [unlocks core memories of 2013]

city and colour, "hello, i'm in delaware"

sleeping at last, "six"

death cab for cutie, "passenger seat"

the dangerous summer, "surfaced"

the zolas, "you're too cool" [it's just a good song i want you to know exists]

just for the memes:

queen, "friends will be friends"

sELF, "stay home"

time for sleep. @ me if any of these meet your spotify needs :)

Thank you so much for the song suggestions anon! I’ll give them a listen and add them to the playlist! 🙌🏻🙏🏻🤗

[cultivating-wildflowers]

2024 Reading - September

Another productive month. Which I know would rub some readers the wrong way, and sometimes that mindset isn't great for me either, but as a girlie who likes her lists? I'm happy getting to check off stuff.

The biggest accomplishment this month was FINALLY finishing The Disorderly Knights. It took me so long that by the end of the story, I'd already forgotten what happened at the beginning. But it's done, and I have the next book on my shelf. For next year. Maybe.

Total books: 10  |  New reads: 9  |   2024 TBR completed: 2 (1 DNF) / 29/36 total   |   2024 Reading Goal: 63/100

August | October

potential reading list from September 1st

#1 - The Boys in the Boat: Nine Americans and Their Epic Quest for Gold at the 1936 Berlin Olympics by Daniel James Brown - 5/5 stars

After hearing people rave about the movie and then the book, I snagged a cheap copy from my local used bookstore and decided to check it out.

It was so so worth it. Absolutely breathtaking. All of the assorted narratives--the different characters, the historical background, the technical details--came together so perfectly and resulted in a captivating story. I love every bit of it. I cried.

#2 - In the Forests of Serre by Patricia A. McKillip - 5/5 stars ('24 TBR)

This is exactly the sort of story I was craving. Absolutely spellbinding.

More like this: I had the sense this story reminded me of something else I've read, but I'm blanking on it just now. If I remember, I'll come back here. It might have been a fairy tale kind of story. It's a bit like the first Earthsea book. Perhaps Robin McKinley, Patricia C. Wrede, Madeleine L'Engel, Shannon Hale.... Diana Wynne Jones. It feels like a Ghibli movie.

#3 - The Unselected Journals of Emma M. Lion, Vol 2 by Beth Brower - 4/5 stars

A fun installment! I am quickly losing track of the cast, but I can totally see the author's vision of this being a delightful period drama.

#4 - The Disorderly Knights by Dorothy Dunnett - 4/5 stars

Note to anyone I've recommended this series to: I unfortunately have to retract that hearty recommendation and replace it with...several caveats.

I finished! Honestly, I don't know why it took so long, because once I made myself sit still and read it was easy-ish going; I just had trouble sitting still.

Ok, so "easy" is not the right word. With this series, the first half of each book tends to be a slow build-up, while the end careens rapidly downhill to the conclusion and the ever-brilliant (and painful) reveal.

And, uh.... This got much darker and more intense than I was prepared for. (If I made a habit of reading more in this line, I might have seen that coming, but epics aren't my usual fare.) Narratively, it all worked very well, but it was right on the edge of what I can tolerate.

Still, with 200 pages left to go, I absolutely planned to keep reading the series, well aware that it would be...an experience. Then I saw a blurb for both Book Four and Book Five, skimmed some super vague reviews for Book Four ("Five Stars. owowowowowowowowowowww") and freaked out. And, against all my usual inclinations, hunted for spoilers. And now I'm scared. (But, weirdly, less stressed about the conclusion? Which is an odd experience.)

#5 - Od Magic by Patricia A. McKillip - 3/5 stars (audio)

This confirms my suspicion that McKillip is one of those hit-or-miss authors for me. The first book of hers that I read was The Changeling Sea, six years ago, and I remember absolutely nothing about it. Then In the Forests of Serre blew me away. Od Magic? Another middling story.

Don't get me wrong; McKillip's writing is gorgeous. It immediately draws you in, connects you to living, breathing characters, and paints the most vivid pictures. But the story here just kind of...wanders along. It's a pleasant journey, but not very exciting.

Note: I didn't dive into "Od Magic" because of how much I loved "In the Forests of Serre". I needed an "O" title, and realized McKillip had a few. 😅

#6 - Howl's Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones - 5/5 stars (reread, audio)

We all know I love this. 'Nuff said.

#7 - Yours From the Tower by Sally Nicholls - 4/5 stars

Another Tumblr rec! And a read that had the unfortunate pressure of me getting to it on the heels of 1) a so-so fantasy and 2) a historical fiction adventure that wrung me out. I did my best not to go into it with any expectations outside of being pleasantly charmed, and charmed I was. 90% of it was a fun, light read with just a touch of drama, but my stars, the end had me rolling. There's something so fun about epistolary novels when it comes to twists and big reveals.

#8 - Thornhedge by T. Kingfisher - 5/5 stars (audio)

A gorgeous little story.

#9 - Bryony and Roses by T. Kingfisher - 4/5 stars (audio)

Largely enjoyable, but the ending felt rushed.

#10 - The Ladies of Grace Adieu and Other Stories by Susanna Clarke - 4/5 stars

An impulse pick from the library. I wanted something short and sweet and discovered this after finishing Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell. As is becoming a habit with Clarke's writing, I enjoyed this book. I loved the variety of styles and tones within the collection.

DNF*

The Element of Fire by Martha Wells - Not a bad story, but by the 15% mark I remained bored and vaguely confused and unable to pay attention, so I gave up. I like Wells's writing style (obviously), but this was evidently her debut and is a bit dull around the edges. For some reason it reminded me vaguely of The Curse of Chalion, which I love, so might be worth checking out if you enjoy Lois McMaster Bujold. Goodreads also shows that fans of T. Kingfisher might enjoy this one as well. (Note: Paladin's Grace [below] also had the same general feel as The Element of Fire and The Curse of Chalion)

The Anthropology of Turquoise: Reflections on Desert, Sea, Stone, and Sky by Ellen Meloy ('24 TBR) - I was hoping for a more scientific exploration of color. Instead, this book is a collection of (in my and my friends' opinions) weirdly stuffy, stilted essays. I don't usually mind slow, descriptive/lyrical writing, but this is something else. If you don't mind a deeply personal and conversational writing style and a book you can sit with for several months, definitely check this one out, because it has merit; it's just not for me.

Zao's Tales by J.A. Sommer - I'm still vaguely unclear on how this book arrived on my shelf (it was a gift from my mother and she bought it to support someone?). Decidedly not for me. Also...now I don't have a "Z" title for my alphabet challenge lol.

just kidding, I found another one that was kind of on my radar and ordered it from the library, whoo

Paladin's Grace by T. Kingfisher - I'm learning that Kingfisher really straddles the line on what I'm willing to tolerate content-wise. This one was a "no" based on that.

The Sea at the End of Everything by Emily McCosh - The writing style was not for me. Sorry, Ruby.

*I'm starting to wonder if I should bother recording books I DNF.... They make up fully a third of the books I've picked up this year.

Currently Reading:

The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Living Dead by Max Brooks - just started

[read-and-write-]

2023 Fic Wrapped

Thanks to @anincompletelist for tagging me! This is such a fun thing to do!

Rules: Feel free to show whatever stats you have. Only want to show Ao3 stats? Rock on. Want to include some quantitative info instead of stats? Please do this. Want to change how yours is presented? Absolutely do that. There are no rules!

Posted on Ao3: 34,145 (Across 14 fics)

Written total: 152,778 (yes, i do have a lot of docs created, a lot more than anyone wants to see)

3 published fandoms: Red, White and Royal Blue, All for the Game, The Shadowhunters Chronicles

Longest work: and every song reminds me of you (4,088 words)

Shortest work: yo te llevo dentro, hasta la raíz  (546 words)

very real wips, things I'm actively working on

Super Six and the Siren's Call (PJO AU- +100k) co-written with @inexplicablymine and @happiness-of-the-pursuit one of the most wonderful projects I've had the honour to be a part of and I'm so exicted for people to see it

Toe the Line (Figure Skating AU - 20k currently) my dearest child, 60 pages of outline, investigation, character sheets and visions i have at three am for a random scene 5 chapter away

Y recuerda siempre que tú eres la medicina (A bilingual June character study) A companion piece of sorts for a train of thought (of things not to forget), June's perspective through it all, both in Spanish and English like Alex's. and with Natalia Lafourcade lyrics as a title because that's June coded

carved within the beauty, the darkness in between and without (your) love, I am nothing two pieces about religion and firstprince from each of their povs, a question about loving yourself and about loving someone else against the things you've been taught and finding divinity within each other.

not so real wips with a little less real word counts but a lot of vibes

Spiderman AU, my entry for the New Years Resolutions event of @thebrownstone, which means it'll get here at some point

MasterChef AU, my way to put my professional knowledge to good use, it was a silly funny story and it grew a plot

Dancer AU, a drabble fail that was just a vision and then some people kind of made it get a full dual pov, double 5 + 1 plot

Numbers are not everything but I do like data and stats

Kudos: 3,969

Comment Threads: 187

Bookmarks: 946

Hits: 37,149

Numbers do not define an author's worth, but I also can see how far I've gotten with just one day deciding I wanted to write and post my fun little words again

top 3 sorted by kudos

las formas de llamarte amor (2.5k - 630 kudos)

my first fic in the rwrb fandom, it makes me so happy to see it being loved, it was the ultimate show of self indulgence

Henry has been a public figure for most of his life, the reason why he’s been given dozens of titles, some kinder than others, he’s been the gay prince, the spare, the prince of England's hearts, the activist, the author. All of the titles are inevitably a part of his history, but the way Alex calls him is the most important of all. Because to Alex, he is sweetheart, amor, and corazón; Alex calls him mi vida in between kisses and whispers hermoso, lindo, precioso with his wandering hands working through Henry’s body. His name sounds better when it comes out of Alex’s lips. or 5 times Alex calls Henry a pet name in Spanish and one time he calls him by his name or Henry learns Spanish one pet name at a time

to belong to a family (even beyond this world) (2.5k - 578 kudos)

this one, this one i wrote with my own soul, i used my tears as ink, wrote it for the Halloween Huh fest and it all the comments have made me so incredibly happy

“Talk to him. They listen, they always listen,” Ligia says and Henry nods, she squeezes his hand again before turning back and leaving him alone in front of the ofrenda. It's very rare that Henry has been at a loss for words when he tries to talk to his father. He has spent countless nights speaking to the stars, looking for Orion and hoping that —wherever his father is— he is looking for it too. “Hi dad,” Henry says softly, taking another look at the picture of his father, smiling at the camera. “I missed you.” or When Alex and Henry go to Mexico for Día de Muertos a familiar face appears on the Díaz ofrenda

you are an idiot (i missed you) (1.6k - 475 kudos)

wrote this on a whim, blacked out and pulled this out of nowhere, my first fic for aftg and really just an excuse to write Andreil being married for convenience™

The best, and arguably the only, good part of playing on opposing teams from your husband was getting to play a match against him. Therefore one could say that Neil was very excited about getting to play against Andrew tonight. Not only because for the first time since the season started they'd finally be in the same State and City (And later after the game, the same house) but also because Neil thought Andrew was 100% hotter when he was playing (Not that he would tell him out loud), and seeing him live was definitely better than seeing him on a screen. There was also the added bonus of the infamous Minyard - Josten Rivalry. Or Neil and Andrew are having too much fun with their rivalry until someone else takes it too seriously, and then they have a talk.

Being a not native english speaker means that fanfic does teach me a lot of stuff, namely vocabulary this year stars some bangers

Saccharine

Ubiquitous

Litany

Chagrin

Filibuster

I created a total of 19 docs, which doesn't mean there's 19 fics there, but it also doesn't not mean it

Alex's POV wins with total of seven fics

Six fics have the tag of Alex Claremont-Díaz Speaks Spanish

Three of my wips have an outline longer than 10 pages

there's a 30%? chance I will write smut at some point in the new year

my funniest doc title is "If you have religious trauma and you know it clap your hands"

This year has been crazy, for many reasons but I'm glad I found this space and I'm glad I'm back to writing, and on top of it all I'm glad of being able to meet so many because of it.

And the year is not over yet! There's still more to come!

I'm tagging a few people, don't feel pressured to do this but if there's anything you feel proud of I'd love to see it @inexplicablymine @happiness-of-the-pursuit @affectionatelyrs @littlemisskittentoes @ssmtskw @raysletters @14carrotghoul @heybuddy-drabbles @suseagull04 @everwitch-magiks @sherryvalli @rockyroadkylers

[shivunin]

✨Self-Rec Tag Game ✨

Rules: Share five of your own fanworks (fic, art, etc.). Then, tag five more people to share the things they've made. I’ve put categories below, but they’re more guidelines than rules.  1. Something you absolutely adore 2. Something that was challenging to create 3. Something that makes you laugh (or smile, if that fits more comfortably)  4. Something that surprised you (in how it turned out, how much other people liked it, etc.) 5. Something you want other people to see

@gaysebastianvael and @dungeons-and-dragon-age tagged me back to do this; thank you both! c:

Tidal Lock (T, 20k words, Cullavellan): This fic is the first finished thing I posted to AO3. It's a pretty different style from the other things I've written, but it's my comfort read for myself. I love stories that loop in on themselves, so have a big ol soft spot for it c: Writing Cullen as a kid was so fun and I fully intend to do it again sometime.

My Fenris scarf. My hands are a bit shaky, so I have a hard time drawing things. Unfortunately, I needed to draw the lyrium brand design straight onto the yarn (not a great surface for drawing things, btw) before I could embroider them into it with the glow-in-the-dark yarn. It turned out really well, but just putting the design down with chalk paint took at least three hours (only a little less than doing all of the embroidery)

3. Ohhh man, I'm having trouble deciding! Here are three options:

This ficlet about Elowen and Cullen after they almost kiss. They are both such an absolute mess, this conversation is even messier, and every time I think about it I get the giggles c:

This ficlet about Hawke producing most of a deck of cards from her and Fenris's person after a night at the Hanged Man (I just...think it's funny to imagine her sticking them into his belt during a card game and Fenris fully knows, but pretends he doesn't. for the bit)

This fic on AO3 (explicit) with Arianwen and Zevran; specifically the part after the smut things are done, when they're dusting each other off and lightly arguing about their little competition. They're just...such dorks sometimes.

4. Search Your Hands (E, 13,581 words), easy. I actually had this most of the way finished six months before I finished it, but I was convinced it was too silly to post (and thankfully @star--nymph convinced me that it was worth finishing <3).

One of my favorite things about writing Cullavellan is exploring the funky little miscommunications that happen with you're in a multicultural relationship and this fic was inspired by that. There's just a mismatch between Cullen (who, having very few personal possessions, is almost certainly inexperienced at receiving gifts) and a cultural tradition involving gift-giving as an expression of Serious Romantic Intent. I did not expect it to be as well-loved as it is, but it has (by a dramatic margin) the highest kudos to bookmarks ratio of all my stories (at ~1/3) and is like...the fifth most-kudo'd thing I have on AO3, which is wild for a one-shot with minimal smut.

5. Wander the Drifting Roads!! (M, 108,331 words)

It is the fic I am most proud of (though I think Palimpsest might be my number two at the moment) and it's also, indirectly, the reason I wound up actually deciding to participate in the Dragon Age fandom. I wouldn't have most of my fandom friends without Wander, so just that would be enough for me to want to share it.

Friendship aside, though, I think it's some of my best writing. Cullen is exposed to red lyrium and loses his memory in between the main game and Trespasser. His Lavellan (Emmaera) has to figure out how to carry on without him as Commander or her lover and they take a very long road back to each other again. If you're okay with some angst before a happy ending (or if you're really into yearning), I think it's a great exploration of what makes someone who they are: is it a formal title or role? is it memory? is it the circumstances they've overcome to get where they are? or is it something less easily-defined than that?

Writing Wander was very challenging (especially towards the end) but so rewarding and worth it. When I want to feel that very particular sort of hurt you get from a sad fic (the kind that twists in your heart), I open up Wander again and put myself through chapter 7.

(I want to stress that it does have a happy ending lol, and a whole anthology of sweet domestic things to follow it up, but I think most people hang onto the hurt part of the hurt/comfort in Wander lol)

I tried to tag most of my mutuals when I made the original post, but: @daggerbean I'd love to see what you've made! and anyone else who wants a reason to show off your fanstuff is welcome to join in c: Tag me so I can see!

[iceunhie]

admittedly very late but have some questions for the ask game !! it's ok if u don't answer them all

- Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process?  How do you come up with titles?

- What area of writing do you feel strongest in?

- What area of writing do you want to improve in?

- What’s your favorite fic you’ve posted?

- Who is your favorite character to write for?  Has this changed since you’ve started writing for that fandom?

- Have you noticed any patterns in your fics?  Words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc?

- What are your favorite fics at the moment?

- Do you have any writing advice you want to share?

[ ask game here! come and drop a question, i don't bite :3 ]

- do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process? how do you come up with titles?

my writing process is literally just an entire random wheel dictating the typing of my fingers on the screen, but fic titling often goes two ways.

usually, when i write a oneshot, i title the fic after the writing process. that way, the title feels authentic and doesn't really stray from the plot i established. i also do this because i get too focused on the plot to bother titling things 😞

for multi-character fiction/headcanons, i tend to pre-write the title after i've mapped out a general plot ☺️ i enjoy titling things prettily and formatting so it's not surprising that that is the direction i lean towards

- what area of writing do you feel strongest in?

HOOHHH boy this is a hard one..... not completely aware of it myself, but personally, i think writing character dialogue and exposition are my strong suits.

- what area of writing do you want to improve in?

description and overall writing tone. there's something in my writing that still feels lackluster (at least, to me), so i'm a little prone to being demotivated whenever that happens.

also, establishing common elements in my writing style! im very indecisive and a huge perfectionist that i often forget that writing is a journey, not a goal where i have to get the highest score in to feel happy 💦💦

- what’s your favorite fic you’ve posted?

ummmm okay okay so i KNOWWW i shouldn't be bragging but a personal fic favorite is definitely breathtaking (wanderer x reader) and heart to heart (aventurine x reader)

also, if any old readers know, my old wanderer fic that was about 10k words in length, which im currently rewriting 🤩

- who is your favorite character to write for? has this changed since you’ve started writing for that fandom?

this is going to sound so controversial. and basic as fuck but it's obviously scaramouche/wanderer! he's the entire reason why i established an account in the first place 🙏

fun fact: my baby blog days were almost consistently posting about him like i could not shut up lol

other faves include aventurine from star rail, jing yuan, jiyan and lyney!

- have you noticed any patterns in your fics? words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc?

i love making things turn heartwrenching and establishing characters to be absolutely in love and down bad for their respective readers. also, i notice that i tend to lean towards expressive readers more than usual and have a liking for adding mini character traits that make them more like a mini oc than a self insert....

- what are your favorite fics at the moment?

anything by @ddarker-dreams, @daosies and @sixosix! some other recs include

≈ translation (aventurine x reader) by @/yinyuedjun [ NOTE: CONTAINS NSFW CONTENT DESCRIPTIONS, MINORS DNI ]

≈ needles and pins (ratio x reader) by @/inarvii

≈ you're a pain in the neck (literally) by @/xiaowhore [ go check their other works because they're also god tier ]

≈ how to woo the acting grand sage 101 (al-haitham x reader) by @/baeshijima

≈ crushing on sunday and robin finding out (sunday x reader) by the GOAT @milksnake-tea

- do you have any writing advice you want to share?

keep practicing and practicing! also, write like no one will read it; this is advice that helped me so much because it allowed me to be authentic in my writing style. aside from that, try to incorporate styles you like from your favorite writers and slowly develop your own elements from said style to create your own! we're an amalgamation of the things we love and cherish, and your writing style is no different.

finally, write like you're in love with writing. yes its it's cringe as hell but writing quality advances by leaps and bounds when you love the trope and/or prompt that you're writing for.

as for improvement, always take it one step at a time. overall, writing is a very hefty process that sometimes makes you feel utterly tired and hopeless due to the many talented writers in active proliferation, but i assure you, your writing is wonderful. keep at it, and write, write, write. (ang corny Neto amputa sorry i just got sentimental for a second)

[roseadleyn]

ARIA ROSCENTE FALLING FOR A DANCER,,, IMAGINE THEM JUST DANCING IN AN EMPTY BALLROOM OR THE READER DANCING DURING A BANQUET AS PART OF A DANCING TROUPE OR SM

you've hit me in the heart. again.

this is before aria got married because no cheating kids. also switched a little something up

reader's personality is like.. applause by lady gaga and i only realized after writing the fic

idk it's historical so no wheelchair no travel, my mind isn't working it's 4 in the morning (mm, that rhymes nicely)

-

𝐋𝐢𝐥𝐲. || 𝐀𝐫𝐢𝐚 𝐑𝐨𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞.

word count: 1.6k

lily means majesty. i wanted to emphasize how the reader appeared to aria during the dancing, and how aria appears to reader because of how beautiful she is. it's not a perfect fit and i don't like it, but i'm dead tired and i cannot look or think for/of a new title, so yeah. sorry for the upcoming, messy, cringe oneshot btw 😇

— rose.

the sun is rising and you realize something.

everyone has a dream in life.

that dream can be anything, really. from getting a sweet house with a little garden to aiming for the stars, a high education, a majestic performance — it all depends, from people to people.

but dreams change, do they not? do dreams not vary over the course of a life? maybe that's exactly what happened with you.

you started out with a dream, too. your dream was to travel, to wander, to traipse over the world. to see the sights, to visit the empires, to take a taste out of every culture. to meet people, to wear the clothes of a foreign land, to take pride in your own and then finally, to settle down in your very own dreamland with a friend or two or maybe a husband. and you threw your heart and soul into this dream, working all throughout school days, talking to people, arranging your group, running here and there to set your travel documents in order, and by your graduation you were sure and ready and full of excitement.

alas, these dreams were not brought to success, this happiness was not to last. you were so close, the dream brought tantalizingly close, so near that you could almost, almost taste it on the tip of your tongue.

until you couldn't.

a week before your scheduled departure, a mix up with your papers that cannot be fixed happens — the loss of those papers, and of course remaking them is too much time, isn't it? your group has to leave in time and back home, pillows and blankets pile around you to block out your endless tears, to block out the feeling of hollow, ringing emptiness, dreamless, hopeless. what good is a person who can't support themselves?

eventually — okay, well, it takes a while but — eventually, you direct some leftover optimism elsewhere.. you decide you'll dance until the papers return, dance with everything you had. now all your time is given to practices and training and development, until you've perfected your voice and your dancing, and people are sure you sound like an angel from the seventh heaven and you dance as smoothly as water flows in a stream.

unfortunately, news of your success can only travel so far. you are still barred from traveling, so you dance in your little space. and slowly with time, you fall in love with it, with bending your body, with maintaning your balance. the beauty of your dancing, the harmony of your voice, is so immense that the Marquess Sarah invites you to perform at an event that she will be holding. she lets you know the guest list, and the important, difficult-to-pronounce noble-esque names make you strive to perform the best you can, pushing your physical limits to the last straw while your mental stamina is far from running out.

when the big day arrives, you step on the stage with stars glittering in your eyes and a tiara on your head that might as well be a coronet of blossoms. you give out your sweetest performance yet, heartbeat pitter-pattering in your chest, movements fluid, voice smooth, the gentle remains of a smile on your face, and for a moment you lose yourself, dancing only for your abandoned dreams and forsaken hope of travelling.

the melody slows to an end and you come to your surroundings with a little start, slightly shaken by all the loud sounds, but it's only applause. all around you, the nobles are giving you a standing ovation, some even standing to do so. you grin, small tears forming in the corners of your eyes, surprised and stunned at this support. amongst those who cheer, a girl catches your eye — slender with blonde hair and green eyes, devastatingly beautiful, politely clapping along with the rest of everybody else.

aria brings her hands together and claps for you, sincerely meaning her applause. she's not a stranger to good performances, not since her whole adoption thing but.. your performance. that was something aria hadn't seen in any of her lives.. wait.

hazy, golden memories swim to the top of her mind. afternoons spent strumming the strings of a violin, running through the corridors with interlinked hands during the hot summer, dawn gone dancing underneath the slowly rising sun. whispered confessions, the brightness of a chandelier, the moment of triumph when you performed for the imperial palace and the overwhelming feeling of pride in her heart — yes, she knew you alright, and this time she was determined not to let her own stupidity curse you to a fallen dream, again.

after you're led offstage and the conversation breaks out, she gets up and heads to your dressing room. she has no issues persuading the knights and finding the large, ornate marble door to your dressing room. she hesitates, trying to remember more of you.. why hasn't she remembered before, when she returned? then she could've come straight to you instead of wasting both her and your time.

a knock on the door, and a confused 'come in!' are all aria needs. she opens the door and looks up, forgetting how to breathe. you haven't changed a bit — still the same compassionate eyes that are the windows to the kindest soul she's known, the simple, minimalistic make up style that you loved so much and never left the house without, your hair that she used to do in ringlets and braids and whatnot. you're so.. majestic. the careless beauty, the easiness and grace about your ways. she feels her heartbeat speed up, and sternly tells herself to get a hold.

'hello, good evening. my name is aria roscente. i just wanted to congratulate you on your performance, it was quite beautiful.' she hates herself for the too-nice tone and the plastered smile.

i knew you better. you don't deserve to be talked to like you're just anyone.

you don't notice — of course you don't. you beam at aria and she prays you don't notice the tips of her ears turn pink.

'thank you! it's very kind of you, lady roscente.'

you fidget with your fingers, trying your best not to look aria in the eye. she's so effortlessly lovely, so.. majestic. she triggers some hidden memories that you didn't know you had — laughing until you can't breath, doing each other's makeup, playing tag in the fields above her house. above whose house? you can't seem to recall.

you're doing well at hiding your self-consciousness until aria says, 'i would like you to come to a tea party this thursday with me and some friends.'

you look up, hardly daring to believe it. 'me? why?'

'i'm sure my friends want to congratulate you.'

'what for?'

'being such an immense success at your first big performance.'

when you still look hesitant, aria adds, 'marquess sarah will be there too.'

you weigh the options in your head. if you went, your influence would be increased. if you didn't, people might start whispering about you, in the street, tea houses, anywhere.

then again, people whispered about you all the time.

the tea party arrives and starts. aria greets the guests and makes polite chit chat, but all she can think about is you. will you arrive? what if you decide not to come? wait, did she remember to place your favorite desert on the table?

finally, you walk into the room, looking bashful and beautifully out of place. dressed in white, a single ribbon woven through your hair, she stands up to pull you into her embrace and never let you go before she remembers that the nobles with slander her to her death... again.

'i'm glad you could make it.' instead, she smiles at you, and then addresses the room at large. 'everyone, this is the dancer from marquess sarah's party, and i invited them to show our appreciation for their marvelous performance.'

a hushed murmur resounds throughout the room, the ladies nodding and mumbling about your performance being excellent. aria notices you give a pleased smile and decides to let you speak.

'thank you for your support, everyone. but, quite honestly, it's hard at times. there are whole days where we don't eat and our entire dancing troupe has severe damage to their toes because of how uncomfortable our dancing shoes are. and...'

as you tell them about the ups and downs of being a dancer, aria can only think about how much she's missed the lilting tone of your voice, the sweetness of your lips, the dreams and hopes in your eyes. the only reason she invited you was to have some time alone with you, anyways, and these noble ladies were going to judge you no matter what, so why not cut your little speech short?

'if i could have a moment, everyone?' she signals to you to follow her after 10 minutes — thankfully, you see the sign — and strides out of the room. almost 12 minutes later — okay, so what if she was counting? she just wanted to see you! — you walk outside, smiling and flushed. she feels a hint of jealousy, especially because none of those women, with the exception of Sarah, mean well towards you.

as you walk, the atmosphere becomes heavy and awkward. so you break the silence, saying, 'lady, why did you bring me outside?'

aria gives you another smile. 'i wanted to dance.'

'dance? oh, my lady, you don't mean — with me?'

'who else? besides, i'm not asking you to be a permanent teacher for me or anything. just dance with me.'

later on, aria would realize that the pair of you reached your destination that day even though the two of you never discussed where you were going.

everyone has a dream in life, but everyone can have several. her dream has always been freedom, liberation from her death, but now she realizes that freedom is not revenge or seduction or gambling through tricks of time reversal at the casino. freedom, aria thinks, as the sun sets, is to be with with you. her freedom is you.

taglist: @elychee, @loekas, @mysticmeena, @parkykwho, @d10nsaint, @hmerus / @rouecentric (your request! sorry it's late), @sidra-29, @dxmoness, @lady-navier0357, @xphantasmagoriax (if you mind being tagged then i'm really sorry, please let me know) @giyuus0nlywife, @that-one-pretty-bitch, @nxccolo, @yevenly /@hevaenly, @dion-s-lawyer, @ykassu / @ylxntis, and @ithil-lucien.

[heizelnutlatte]

💬 Heize's 10 Year Debut Anniversary Interview

[YeSol Encyclopedia], the encyclopedia for female solo artists. The YeSol Encyclopedia contains stories of female solo singers from Korea making their mark on the world stage.

[StarNews | Reporter Ahn Yoon-ji] K-pop stars have traversed the globe, expanding the base of Korean popular music. Singers who initially targeted the domestic fans have gradually shifted their focus to the global market, aiming for the U.S. music charts, including Billboard. Indeed, numerous stars have climbed the Billboard 'Hot 100' chart, affirming the strength of K-pop stars. This situation has significantly contributed to the advancement of Korean music. K-pop, once confined to idol music, has branched out into hip hop, ballads, rock, and more experimental music, with artists breaking out of their molds to explore new challenges.

The most significant change has been among female solo artists. While female solo acts in the past might have centered their music around 'sexiness,' they now do not hesitate to showcase their vocal abilities alongside their performances. StarNews has decided to focus on these female solo artists. Now, in the year of the Blue Dragon, 2024, amidst the challenging music industry, we look into how these artists have managed to carve out their own paths and survive on their own.

The second artist featured in the "YeSol Encyclopedia" is rapper and singer Heize. Heize debuted in 2014 with the digital single "After I've Wandered A Bit" and was known for her hip-hop music. She gained recognition by participating in the Mnet hip-hop survival program "Unpretty Rapstar 2" in 2015, seemingly following the path of a female rapper, but in 2016, she released the digital single "Don't Come Back," showing a different image.

Since then, she has produced numerous hit title tracks, including "And July," "Star," "Don't Know You," "You, Clouds, Rain," "Jenga," "SHE'S FINE," "We don't talk together," "Late Autumn," "Lyricist," and "HAPPEN." Recently, she released "Stranger" with singer 10cm, showcasing her diverse musical spectrum.

In a recent written interview with StarNews, Heize shared her thoughts on her 10th debut anniversary and the journey she has taken as a solo artist. We aim to slowly unfold her discography.

- 2023 is coming to an end, and 2024 is approaching. As we welcome the New Year, could you please share a brief message?

▶ Hello, this is Heize. I'm truly grateful to be able to exchange New Year greetings with you all in 2024. You may be setting big or small new plans for this year, and I hope you find happiness in achieving them one by one. I'm rooting for you.

- You debuted in 2014, and this year marks your 10th anniversary. 2024 must feel special to you. Can you share your thoughts on reaching this milestone and, looking back on your activities, what moments stand out as particularly special?

▶ It’s really been exactly 10 years. Rather than just thinking, 'Wow, it's the 10th anniversary!', I was the type of person who lived day by day, but now that it's over, I only remember a few key scenes from the entire 10 years. Even then, detailed situations, words, and emotions became blurred. So now, apart from trying to achieve something, I think I should try to put my mind at ease every day.

When I first released a song called "Don't Come Back" after "Unpretty Rapstar 2," I think it was a very important and special moment for me. At that time, I was told that a hip-hop album should be released at this time to continue the Unpretty Rapstar image. I was too young to assert myself and didn't know much about anything, but I think I instinctively knew that the first song I released after the show would greatly affect my future direction. I don't know how long I could continue if I did something that wasn't me from the beginning, and it would have taken me a long time to come back with something that wasn't me. I'm still grateful for that choice because I think I was able to fully explore the music world I had starting with "Don't Come Back" in earnest.

Reflecting on the past, her appearance on Mnet's "Unpretty Rapstar 2" in 2015, followed by activities with "Don't Come Back," "And July," and later "Star," "You, Clouds, Rain," "Don't Know You," etc., helped her gain recognition, continuing with a series of breakup songs. When asked about the most memorable and regrettable activities during her career:

▶It's still vivid to me that "You, Clouds, Rain" rose to No. 1 on the charts. It's amazing to think about it again, and I'm thankful for everything back then. I'm thankful for all the rain that rained a lot at that time, for singing about the rain that I love, and for people to understand how I felt. But it's sad to see that I didn't try to express my joy at the time. It's good to have a high ranking, but that's not all. I think it's because I was already worried about my next album. Whenever we won No. 1, I told myself not to get too excited thinking, "Let's not be too happy. Let's think of it as a miracle that happened to me." But now, I think I'm going to think, "Yeah, that miracle happened to me. Let's do our best to be happy at this moment." But I can't go back now, it's regretful.

- Personally, I feel like your music has broadened its spectrum over time, initially focusing on breakups as a major theme. Do you feel your musical direction is changing, and what direction are you pursuing now?

▶ When a lot of breakup songs were being released, it was a time when my world had completely collapsed due to a breakup and was being rebuilt. Everything felt strange, difficult, and different because of that breakup, so it seems like I ended up connecting everything to my own experience of parting. As I go through life, there are events that influence me at the moment, and naturally, my interests and the texture of my lyrics change accordingly. If I were to experience a breakup with someone I love, a deep breakup song might come out, but I'm also apprehensive about it. Regardless, I want to continue capturing the many things I see and experience in life in my own words.

- A challenge for me was definitely "Vingle Vingle," released last April. There are various opinions, but "Vingle Vingle" opened up a new genre in Heize's music. Personally, how do you feel about this song?

▶ Reading this question to myself, I just laughed out loud. Just hearing the title "Vingle Vingle" makes me laugh for many reasons. It's mostly because it feels a bit embarrassing and shy. Until "Vingle Vingle," rather than focusing on the feedback from people who liked my new releases, I was particularly mindful of comments saying 'it's always similar.' The "Vingle Vingle" demo I heard during that time was really a new world for me, interesting, and the guide was great. Even though it was the same theme of breakup, I was excited to present a breakup song that could be played in a lively space, a breakup song that could wake you up. It seems to have woken people up in a different way, haha~ I think if another artist who could digest it better had sung it, the song might have done much better, so there's a part of me that feels a bit regretful. But since there are people who like it, I think of it as having given them a good song. That's enough for me!

- The EDM genre generally divides opinions, and it seems "Vingle Vingle" has received such responses as well. What are your thoughts on these opinions?

▶ It could be, or perhaps the musical direction people expect from me was clearer than I thought. I was moved reading the comments. The fact that people sincerely think about and write about Heize as an artist... I was surprised by how much they worried. Reading thousands of comments and heartfelt DMs made me think that I should continue to create and share what I can do in my own way, and I was able to focus entirely on putting myself into my eighth mini-album that came out afterward. I plan to keep challenging and changing, but not too drastically.

- I love your ballads, but I actually also enjoy your unique R&B and rap. Fans occasionally ask in comments for you to do R&B songs again. Do you plan to revisit this genre?

▶ I really love it too. However, the message I want to convey greatly influences the lyrics and melody, and recently, there haven't been many messages suitable for rap. Writing rap involves a different posture and expression. Lately, my messages have been too nice, it seems. Maybe I need to toughen up a bit. I'll definitely share it with you.

- In the music industry, where female solo artists are relatively rare, your popularity and topicality feel especially welcome. Having gone through tough times and now actively performing, do you have any advice for juniors or others walking the same path, in light of your 10th debut anniversary?

▶ I think it's important to take an interest in how other artists continue their activities, how they create music, and how they perform on stage. Watching them work hard behind the scenes to complete a piece of work and carve out their own paths through that work, I think I always need to ponder what my own thing is and which direction my path lies. What I can do well, what I like, what should be next for me... There’s always no right answer, but the absence of a right answer makes it all the more necessary to understand myself. I'm still trying.

- Female solo artists used to focus on being 'sexy,' but it seems their spectrum has broadened significantly in recent years. Especially you, Heize, have been walking a path that doesn't shy away from various genres, including hip-hop, R&B, and ballads. What drives your activities and what do you consider the most important point?

▶ I think it's important to be true to myself. If I could fool people into thinking something not true to myself looks cool, people would immediately notice when I try to digest something that's not me. Just like with "Vingle Vingle"...

- The major Korean holiday, Lunar New Year, is approaching. How do you usually spend the Lunar New Year? What are your plans for this year?

▶ I spend time with my family or, if that's not possible, I spend time alone. This year, I think I'll have a meal with my brother, work on some projects, and so on.

- With the New Year here, do you have any wishes or goals for this year?

▶ As it's a new year and it's been 10 years since I chose this path and walked it on my own terms, I want to take this opportunity to look back slowly and see if there's anything I've forgotten. While doing so, as always, I don't want to forget my duty and want to continue doing what I need to do. I don't have any grand goals yet. In fact, I had resolved to post a photo on Instagram once a week starting in January, but I've already compromised with myself to once a month. Instagram is too hard, even in my 10th year of debut.

- As you mark your 10th debut anniversary, I'm curious about any special activities or plans you have for this year.

▶ I think I need to have a discussion with my company. Not just concerts, but I want to create opportunities to meet and communicate with fans up close. I sincerely thank everyone who has been by my side, making it not so scary or lonely even when the night comes on the path I've walked for 10 years, and for listening to my music. I sincerely hope you all will be even happier this year.

Heize, often nicknamed a "breakup specialist" due to her ability to articulate emotions, has always been focused on self-improvement. As someone who takes to heart feedback about being "always similar," she demonstrates a grounded approach, selectively incorporating necessary elements to present better music, rather than being swayed by opinions. Listening to her music in sequence reveals that Heize, initially focused solely on the theme of breakup, gradually layers emotions to construct a solid narrative.

Love and separation are the most common themes in ballads. Listeners have been exposed to various forms of love over countless hours. Yet, what makes Heize's portrayal of breakup special could be attributed to her transition from other genres, breaking conventional molds. The unrefined emotions, detailed circumstances, and sometimes blunt expressions in her music resonate with the audience. It's intriguing to ponder what lies ahead for Heize, who narrates every story as if it were her own. Whatever that may be, listeners are already prepared to embrace it.

[crossroadsdimension]

It turned out that somehow, Athena, wife of Lahabrea, had managed to bring herself back in the present, in the aetherial sea, and was intent on continuing her path to godhood.

And in an attempt to move her goals forward, she used the crystal Cross had found to recreate Lahabreha and Ericthinos, in memory and captured soul. While it was nice to see Eric again, it was...certainly unnerving. Especially considering how much knowledge they had to dance around to keep the two of them from becoming completely shocked at what had followed their time in the facility.

("The situation is..." Cross trailed off, uncertain. "It's complicated. I'm not sure how much I can tell you safely, even if you can't travel back to our past and your present."

Lahabrea inclined his head at the remark, then nodded. "Very well. We shall table that discussion for another time. Athena takes precedence."

Leave it to a man led by logic.)

Fighting Pandaemonium itself wasn't what Cross had been expecting, though. Athena wanted to become a god in the sense that she could create and manipulate souls, which did not sound comforting or comfortable. The fact that she held Themis under her sway and he was aware of the control only made things more frustrating.

(A part of Cross wondered if...but no. Elidibus couldn't be here, in soul and memory. This was Themis, likely in a random, captured soul, rather than the one he was familiar with.)

Still, the fight against Themis was drastically different than the one with Elidibus. A spearman, rather than a swordsman.

("If you will bear your truth to me, then I do the same." Cross brandished Azem's crystal and invoked its magic. "While I do not carry her memories, I bear the soul of Azem! I have traveled the length and breadth of the universe and seen not even a thimble of its wonders!"

Themis, tellingly, did not look startled at the revelation. It almost made Cross confront him about it afterwards, but something about the look in his eye made her hold back.)

And then there was Athena herself. Possessing Claudien's body, taking the form of a winged seraph, and pushed to the mental brink by the Heart of Sabik, because of course the High Seraph gave that to her and that's why she went down this path. The fact that Claudien possessed Eric's soul, passed down to the present, was not a fact that slipped Cross' notice when Themis mentioned the name slip. The fact that Athena had effectively molded the man to be her vessel for when she wanted to become a god, however....

...yeah, she deserved every beating she got and more. She wasn't to be allowed to mess with the will of the star as she saw fit, and Cross was more than happy to make sure she got what she deserved.

Revealing what happened to Lahabrea's real self afterwards, however, was...

("The man you were is not the Ascian Lahabrea," Cross told him. "He is who you became. Or become. While you yourself are not him...whenever I hear that title spoken, I see a man who possessed someone I knew, and used his body to deliver the Heart of Sabik and its spell into bloodthirsty hands."

Lahabrea's expression darkened. "I see.")

In the end, Athena's schemes failed. She lost control of the reincarnation of her son, booted from Claudien's body. Eric's memories were lost in the process, but he was long gone already anyway.

And then Lahabrea left, but Elidibus lingered. He got Cross to check on the Pandaemonium of the past one last time, then revealed on her return that he did, in fact, remember the whole of his life, even if most of it was hazy at best.

("Themis...."

"It's all right. I have no animosity towards you, Cross." Themis smiled gently, the aether shimmering as it left him.

"I...I know. I just want to say...I'm looking forward to meeting you again."

Themis' smile broadened, and he vanished in a shower of aetherial sparks.)

As Cross left the aetherial sea to re-enter Labyrinthos, her train of thought briefly wandered, to the souls of the Ancients who were back in the aetherial sea.

What would happen to them when they were reborn, she wondered?

[katzkinder]

Wrath Group and Jeanne D'arc

Wrath Fam Posting never ends, because I like them and thank you all so much for encouraging that 💕

idk what it is about this group that keeps drawing me back to them. Maybe it's because Norse mythology is one of my special interests, maybe it's because the story of Wrath arc moved me so much, maybe I'm just gay as hell. Who knows, who cares, they make me happy, and I'm glad I get to share that joy with all of you~

--Alright enough sappiness, down to business

As the title of the post says, this is going to focus on the ways Strike uses references to Jeanne D'arc as a character motif for the Wrath group, which I consider to consist of Freya, Gil, Ray, and of course, Iduna.

First up, Freya. This one's super easy. We all know Jeanne was executed under false charges of heresy, but the thing that did her in, the one accusation the English levied at her that somehow stuck was... Cross dressing. Now, Freya as we see her is a very feminine woman, but her battle outfit when paired with Iduna is undoubtedly a military uniform, and canon shows us that it was quite common for Freya to be wandering around battlefields, picking up subclass as she pleased.

The "men's clothing" Jeanne wore was armor, and her short haircut she had throughout her military career was for the sake of convenience, not because she was attempting to dress as a man. (@redlanternchild also makes note of this in her post here! Very reassuring that I am not, in fact, an insane person ww. I love her analysis in general so please give her blog a look through if you haven't already; It's super duper worth it!)

It's also a common misconception that Jeanne was executed as a witch, one that might be due to how she was depicted in Shakespeare's Henry IV part 1, where, spurred on by common English propaganda at the time of writing, she was portrayed as a witch and a promiscuous woman (This makes Freya's one-sided adoration for her baby brother rather... bitter, in a funny way). And, well... Gear went and rescued Freya from a witch trial, so. There ya go.

Second comes Freya's subclass, Gilberto Weasel and Rayscent Crazyrabbit, aka, Gil and Ray!

Using Italian pronunciation of Gil's name would make it sound closer to "Jill," while Ray, is, well, Ray! Put em together, and you've got something remarkably close to Jeanne's compatriot and the commander of the French army, Gilles de Rais!

Now for birthdays. Birthdays for characters in Servamp are NEVER chosen Just Because, and Freya's subclass are no exception.

Gil's birthday is February 12th, which also falls on the day the Battle of Herrings started, allll the way back in 1429. It's a really minor battle within the Hundred Years War, but, it was the date Jeanne met with Robert de Baudricourt and ended up, ahem, convinced to help her. It's actually really funny; she basically cornered the dude and then proceeded to publicly lecture everyone present until he relented. This is significant because Jeanne's encounter with Baudricourt is considered by historians to be her first major step towards her career and fame, much like Iduna's first meeting with Gil was what pushed her to really think about what she was creating, who for, and why.

Now, time for Ray! Ray's birthday is May 15th, which just so happens to coincide with the day Gilles de Rais kidnapped a cleric during a dispute at the Church of Saint-Étienne-de-Mer-Morte. This ultimately prompted an investigation by the Bishop of Nantes, during which evidence of Rais's crimes as the infamous "Bluebeard" was uncovered. ... Basically he murdered and did Other Things to a bunch of kids but let's just move past that, ayup.

Finally, we have the Star (lol) of our show... Iduna! She's the most obvious of the bunch with her connections, to the point that I almost feel silly bringing it up? But I also realize that people genuinely might not realize some of these because it just never came up in their lives before.

First, Jeanne's nickname was the Maid of Orléans, and she wasn’t just a flag bearer who rallied the troops. She also carried a sword into battle, a fact that for whatever reason is often left out when discussing her accomplishments. Iduna's combo with Freya is literally named "Maid of Orléans (Draw your sword)", and its effect is to give Freya the weapon she is lacking to become a perfect bastion of offense and defense. I'd have to be a total idiot to miss that given that even FGO, which, as I mentioned in a different post about Freya, plays it VERY fast and loose with history, gets this right, and how popular Jeanne D’arc is as a person to take inspiration from for fictional characters.

(side note, but i wonder if the design of Freya's demon was inspired somewhat by Fate Extra CCC's Karna? Strike's definitely a Fate fan and has even drawn Ildio in Gilgamesh cosplay, so it's entirely possible considering she loves to sprinkle in homages to series she likes within character design)

Second, and I've mentioned it in a previous post, Iduna's birthday, May 30th, is also the day Jeanne died at the hands of the English.

Jeanne was also only 17 the day she first rode into battle, just like Iduna! She's also the patron saint of prisoners (of which C3 was keeping the subclass as, and they were freed and safely guided out of the collapse thanks to Iduna intervening with the battle between Shamrock and Shuuhei) and soldiers, especially female soldiers like Freya. However, she's much more well known for being the patron saint of France ww

Finally, there’s one of the charges leveled at Jeanne during her trial. While she was captured by the Burgundians, there was an incident where she jumped from a 21 meter(!!) tall tower, and she safely landed on the ground despite the height (but was quickly recaptured). Now the reason for this seems to have conflicting sources, and I… Do not speak French |D

Some say she was merely attempting to escape, others insist that she did so to save a nearby village. Point being, she leapt, survived, was captured, and maybe did so for not her own sake, but for others.

Anybody remember the end of chapter 106 and the entirety of chapter 107? Iduna, using a new invention, leaps from the window of the hospital (much to Gil and Ray’s distress lol) in order to more immediately tend to the injured Nicco, and her kindness is met with being taken hostage. I just thought this one was a funny little coincidence and probably not intentional, so take it as you like~

[hnychn]

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐆𝐎𝐃𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐄𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐅𝐀𝐓𝐄 [𝐋𝐄𝐕𝐈]

summary : levi wanted to believe the Fates were kind, but he should have known better

warnings : character death, heavy loss, a single mention of suicide, more greek myth allusions, fem! reader

word count : 3000+

a/n : omgomgomg tysm @yeehawslap for giving me permission to write this, i swear when i read their post i was immediately inspired to write this and i'm so sorry to your feelings :') also i swear i changed the title of this like, ten times

attack on titan masterlist || navigation

The Fates had dealt Levi a rough life. 

When the goddess Clotho had spun the thread of his life, she must have incorporated thorns into every string; even now Levi could feel the pricks of guilt that chipped away at his soul each time he opened the bottom drawer of his desk and faced the bloodied scout patches of the lives lost.. 

Lachesis had enforced his life; she had been the one to use his thread to create. Although, Levi must admit, the fates must have favored him a tiny bit if they had sent you to him. You, his lovely wife whom he met one late evening under the stars, a gash on his head and gauze in your hand ready for you to patch up. 

You had been there to take out every thorn in his thread Clotho had stuck in his life; every ounce of guilt, every second of regret had been a burden on his shoulders you relieved by simply being there. 

Perhaps the Fates weren't all that bad. 

They must have been even just an ounce of virtuous if they had allowed him to call you his forever. The fates had strung together a love story into his thread of life and allowed him to invite someone into the most intimate parts of him, allow him to find peace within someone; to create a life together. 

Levi could remember the day when you burst into his office, a smile so bright he was sure even the sun was envious of the warmth you radiated. No words were spoken as you pulled him into your arms and cried. 

It was only through hiccups and sobs did he hear your soft voice tell him he had created a life. And while your stomach was still as flat as it had been the night before and many nights before that, he pressed his hand against it nonetheless and promised to protect the life within you until his very last breath. 

Perhaps the Fates weren't all that bad. 

Isabel, as the two of you named your daughter, had become a nearly carbon copy of her father. not only did she share many features in common with him, she also inherited his strength. 

She was able to hold her head up on her own only a mere months after birth, and she often gave you a terrible fright when she climbed out of her crib at night with a strength a toddler shouldn't have. Though, it was of no real surprise to either of you; you were sure your womb must have taken a terrible beating with the strength of her kicks while she was still growing inside of you. 

And, with her strength and many similarities with her father, came her desire to join the scouts. 

It was the first time in her life Levi had denied her something. 

Admittedly, little Isabel had her cold, ruthless captain of a father wrapped around her stubby little finger since the moment you pushed her out of your womb. You could hear the way he promised to give her anything her little heart desired and often you found yourself being more strict with her. 

Though, this had been Levi's one fear. 

Levi has seen countless people fall beyond the walls. He's witnessed Farlan and Isabel (his daughter's namesake) tragically torn to pieces by those wandering monsters. He’s seen countless bodies piled up in wagons to return to the walls for burning. 

You’ve seen your fair share of horrors, too. You’ve seen the injuries people walk into your clinic with, the blood gushing through gaping wounds, their bones snapped in angles they shouldn't, the limbs you've had to amputate; and the sheer image of your daughter being one of them was enough for you to turn green with sickness. 

There were countless arguments between Levi and Isabel (you often found yourself the mediator of these fights and cursing the fates for making both father and daughter stubborn as mules). But ultimately, Levi had caved as he always did, and promised to train her harder than anyone else in the training corps.

True to his word, Isabel often returned home with bruises and collapsed next to you on the couch, her head falling into your lap with fatigue. You smiled as you ran your fingers through her hair as she tiredly recounted her training with her father and other members of the Training Corps. 

She had recounted many stories of the friends she’s made there; an arrogant boy named Jean who she loved to tease and roughhouse with, a boy with a buzzcut named Connie she liked to mess around with and prank occasionally, and a girl named Sasha. 

The dusty pink on her cheeks when she told you stories about her sprouted an inkling inside of you that made you think she was more than just a friend to your daughter. You only smiled as she went on. 

Though, late at night, when your husband had long ago fallen asleep and your daughter was tucked safely away in her room, did you find yourself praying to the Fates. You prayed no arm would come to your daughter and she would lead the happy life she deserved. You prayed the Fates were kind.  

Perhaps . . . the Fates weren't kind . . .  

Levi should have known the fates hadn't meant to give him a life as peaceful as his (or as peaceful as it could be with you and Isabel by his side). He should have known better than to think the Fates were righteous.  

Afterall, the goddess Atropos always came to collect what was due. Atropos was the third and final Fate, the goddess who cut the threads her sisters weaved and toyed with. She was the one who claimed souls. Atropos watched time and time again as Levi avoided her attempts to collect his thread and grew frustrated the more he slipped through her fingers like sand. So, Atropos did the next best thing. 

She stole a life close to him. 

Levi could feel his blood run cold when Jean walked in, his hands fisting the shirts of two children and his eyes wild with shock. His words were shaky and his eyes were covered in a daze of denial, as if his mind was trying to protect him from the inevitable heartbreak he would experience. 

Levi waited with a bated breath for Jean to crack a smile and admit this was all some sick joke he could punish him later for. That his whole thing was nothing but a nightmare and he was bak at home, cuddled in bed with you and your daughter was sleeping soundly in her room just down the hall. 

But he knew it wasn't a dream, not when you gasped as you did, when he could practically see your heart shattering in your eyes and the way you nearly pushed him to the floor as you ran to the back of the airship. Levi followed close. 

"ISABEL!" 

You had practically thrown Connie to the side to get to your daughter. Her eyes were hazy with the same veil of death you had seen time and time again with your patients and friends. Sasha stood still to the side, her eyes wide and her hands shaking, “should have been me, it should have been me.” She chanted the words like a spell that would somehow transfer the wound to her, a spell that would miraculously heal your daughter who lay on the cold hard floor of the airship, blood slowly seeping out of her. 

The logical medic in your brain delivered you the harsh truth as you assessed your daughter and her wounds. The unforgiving voice hissed in your ear about her inevitable death, the wound is too fatal, there’s no way she’ll make it back to the island. You hushed the voice as quick as it spoke, your heart denying the severity of the situation. 

"oh," Levi could only watch as you clutched onto Isabel, your hands working like clockwork as they put pressure on her wound despite the violent shake in them, "oh, my baby..." 

Levi took a hesitant step closer. It was haunting, watching his daughter who held so many of his qualities lay on the floor, bleeding to death. He had remembered the many times she pulled his hair as a child, giggling loudly as she pointed out the obvious, ‘I’m just like you, daddy!’ 

Oh, how he wished he could go back to those moments. When his daughter was nothing but a small child he cradled in his arms, tucking her safely under his chin as he gently rocked her side to side to lully her back into a deep sleep. He wished to go back to the nights he held your hair back as your stomach churned with nausea and your daughter was but a growing fetus, protected within the walls of your womb. 

"M . . . mommy . . .” Isabel breathed. 

You sobbed harder, "it's okay baby, i'm here, mommy's here." 

You ran your fingers through her hair, hushed her and soothing her as you once did many years ago when she was nothing but a small baby clutching onto the material of your dress. 

She had been so tiny then, so fragile and sweet and innocent. But she had long since grown out of her baby face and matured into a strong woman you were proud to have nurtured. But in this moment, it was as if she returned to the same fragile baby as she was years ago as she clutched onto the straps of your gear like a lifeline, her eyes dull but full of fear and hesitance.

"Mommy please, i'm- s' scared . . ." her voice was breathy and you could see the energy drain from her eyes the harder she tried to keep them open.

You wanted to be selfish, to tell her to keep her eyes open, to keep breathing and push through the pain. But you could see the pain flash in her eyes each time she took a breath, you could hear her breathy wince with every movement she made, and you knew you couldn’t be selfish. 

Levi could see your resolve slowly crumble, the way the shake in your hands grew more and more violent and he could practically see the screams bubble in your throat as you tried to swallow them down to comfort your daughter. Levi knew if he didn't step in now, there would be no salvaging the broken pieces of you after this. 

"It’s okay, princess." Levi crouched down on the other side of his daughter, his jaw clenching and unclenching as he tried to keep his composure. 

Her head slowly turned to him, "d-daddy . . . ?" 

Levi hummed, "Yeah, it's me princess. It’s okay, you did so well, you were so brave." 

"I was?" her words were breathy and rushed as she tried to cling on to the last threads of her life. You could feel her grip in your gear lose its strength and you nearly let the screams clawing at your throat escape. 

pleasepleasepleaseplease, you begged, not her please not my baby. 

"So brave." 

Levi had never felt so helpless watching his daughter's eyes lose their life, he could only sit there and reassure her that everything would be fine and she had done good as she took her last breaths. Images of the other Isabel laying dead on the floor flashed through his mind and Levi nearly vomited. 

"I love you" 

Levi nodded, "I know. I love you too, princess. Now rest." 

The winds howled loudly outside, but there was nothing loud enough to drown out the screams that had finally escaped from you as you gripped your daughter’s hand so tight your knuckles turned white. Levi held you close as tears of his own dripped down his face and an indescribable weight placed itself in his heart.  

The Fates were not kind. 

Life after that seemed to lose its shine. 

Your home was hauntinly quiet. Every inch of the home had memories of your daughter carved into the wooden frame. Her first words, her first steps, her first breath. You had given birth to your daughter in the living room, and where the walls once gave you comfort and warmed your heart with reminders of the first life you had brought into the world, it now made you sick with grief and added to the weight in your heart. She had taken her first steps in the hallways, clutching your fingers tight as you guided her down the hall to Levi who waited for her with a proud smile. Her first words had been in the kitchen, where you and Levi cooked dinner for your quaint little family and she called out to the two of you, begging for attention. And who was Levi to deny his princess? 

You and Levi struggled to find your places in the world after that. Late at night, the two of you often clung to each other for comfort. Though, you knew Isabel’s death was hitting Levi harder than you. You could see it in the way he tucked her Scout badge into the left breast pocket of his shirts, hoping to keep the memory of her close to his heart; the way he avoided every mirror like it was the plague. You could see it in the way he flinched whenever he caught sight of his reflection, his own steel grey eyes and matted black hair staring hauntingly back at him. 

Isabel had taken after her father the most, afterall. 

You also found Levi’s features a bit hard to look at after that. It was hard to look into his eyes and see your daughter staring right back at you with a pleading look to not leave. There had been late night conversations where Levi assured you he knew of his similarities to Isabel and promised to not be mad if you wanted to leave him, 'I find it hard to look at myself sometimes.'

But you only held him tighter and stuck closer to his side, washing away any thoughts he had of you leaving him. You married him because you loved him, and nothing could change that. Even if he looked so similar to your lost daughter. 

The Fates also decided to make your lives a bit harder, as if taking away your first born hadn’t been enough suffering to put you both through. Levi had been sent away with Zeke into hiding. Initially, you wanted to go with him, to stick by his side and cling to your life support, but the others hadn’t allowed it. 

Hango could only grip your wrist tight as you watched Levi climb into the carriage and ride away. 

You begged Hange not to leave you alone after that; because you knew if you were left alone for long enough, there would be nothing stopping you from joining your daughter in the afterlife. 

Hange stayed by your side. 

You wanted to vomit. 

You could feel the sickening churn in your stomach as you stared down at the very girl who had stolen the life from your daughter. The images of your daughter clutching on to you tightly and her scared voice begging you to comfort her rang loud in your ears. Your mouth had dried instantly, any one of the thousand of words rattling in your head stopped by the numbness in your mouth. There were so many things you wanted to say, so many words you wanted to exchange with the girl who had taken your child from you. 

You could see Nicolo’s mouth move and his adam's apple bob with every sound he made, but it was all muffled whitenoise as your eyes trained onto the little girl who stared up at you with a look of horror and fear. 

“ . . . kill her,” Nicolo’s voice buzzed in your ears. 

You hadn’t even realised you took the knife from his hands until you heard Hange speak up from behind you. She begged you to put the knife down, to think rationally. 

But how could you? How could your mind think of anything other than harming the girl who was the cause of all your pain? When the girl who murdered your daughter was right in front of you, sitting on her knees, vulnerable. Your heart screamed and thrashed against the veins that held it in place for you to stab her, to make her feel the same pain your baby had to go through. 

But then she looked up at you. Her eyes were wide with the same fear and pleading look your daughter had in her final moments. You dropped the knife, your shoulders shaking as your eyes lined with unshed tears. 

“Kill a child. . . you- you want me to kill a child. . .” Armin stared at you from the side as your shoulders sagged and a few tears escaped your eyes, and he couldn’t help but realize how tired you looked. As if the weight the world had placed on your shoulders was finally catching up to you and your body struggled to carry it any longer. 

“I can’t do that. She’s a child. Someone’s daughter.” You collapsed to the floor, your hands digging to the carpet underneath you, “I can’t kill a child, not while I know what it feels like to lose your own. I can’t put another mother through the same pain I’m in. I just- can’t.” 

Hange kneeled next to you and placed a comforting hand on your shoulder, her lips pressed into a thin line and sympathy swimming in her eyes for her friend who had lost her world. You looked back up to Gabi and she nearly flinched with how broken and tired your eyes looked, “I can only hope she’s found peace in the afterlife. . . 

“I can only hope the Goddesses of Fate are kind to her soul.”  

[warriorsbutnotreally]

Okay, so. Runeclan Starclan isn't like Canon Starclan. It's not filled with dead cats that we good enough to be there. It's filled with giant, towering cats with stars and galaxies in their pelts. These are the Watchers. Nine cats who control things. They never interact with any cats unless those cats are truly gifted. Leaders don't get extra lives here, they just get the star title. Only certain cats get more than one life and no one in Runeclan has gotten extra lives in thousands of years, much less special powers. The only cats who are "gifted" enough to even hear the voices of Watchers are healers and even then it's only a select few. The clan doesn't get prophecies left and right like in the books, they get them when Starclan thinks they deserve hints, which isn't very often, if not at all. Now, I know what you might be asking- where do the other cats go?

This is where the middle earth comes in. Other cats are basically ghosts. Wandering around, doing things they did in their old lives or even watching their families. When a cat dies, they wake up like nothing happened. They feel the same. The only difference is that they are dead. They can see their dead body, hear their loved ones crying for them. They can't speak or touch the living and the living can't see them. Unless, of course, you've gotten a gift. The cats still have scars and wounds like they did when died. If they died from sickness, they would continue to have a cough or any other symptoms. Their wounds don't bleed but it is extremely scary for the cat who sees them just walking around.

The Dark Forest is where horrible cats go. Cats who have upset the Watchers so bad that they are banished or even struck down by their overseers. These cats are as black as volcanic smoke with multiple limbs and bleeding red wounds. Their rules are much like the rules or the dead but they can't leave. They are shackled their, tied to the dark soil with chains of obsidian and hell fire. Here, the Dark Forest is called the Ebony Prison and though the cats trapped here can visit living cats dreams, the living cats cannot kill or touch a cat who resides here. They can change their form to look a little less threatening, mainly taken the shape of a loved one the cat longs to see, but it's only temporary and the Watchers will try everything in their power to help the living cat see them who they really are. Monsters.

Anyway, I hope this was interesting and that it isn't going to off the mark from the source material. Also I'm probably going to have the heiress be named Lightwater. She'll still have the tie to Starclan here and honestly it fits her. I'll go into more why she is tied to the Watchers later but for now, that is all.

I actually really love this???

you should be proud of your creativity with this afterlife you've created for your story!

it shouldn't matter if it goes off any mark so long as you're happy with it and honestly you should feel proud of the thought and care you put into this! It sounds so cool and I like that RuinClan has its own unique afterlife instead of having something too similar to canon.

[enha-woodzies]

➸ CHAPTER 2 | " TEA IS SPILLED "

starring: enhypen ft. i-land daniel

pairing: jungwon x fem!reader x sunghoon

genres: royal au, romance, angst, slowburn, 18th century setting

word count: 1.8k

taglist: @serendipitysung (again, thank u for beta reading this chap) @angeljungwon @en-sun @affectionaterainoflove @renkiv @softforjungwoo @jislix @fluffi @gyeraniee @miffythoughts

[ PREV. CHAPTER ] | [ M. LIST ] | [ NEXT CHAPTER ]

In a family of four, the grand manor is typically too massive of a place to frolic about considering the children are, now more than ever, entering the wobbly world of adulthood. Lady Park isn't at all saddened, not even the slightest, of the lack of silly beings bouncing around the halls. Her three blissful children are more than enough to fulfill the abundance needed to fill up these wide walls of comfort.

With wild banters resonating from the top floors to the angry cries of frustration and bullets being fired in the grassy yard, boisterous laughters even in the parlour and magnificent tunes from the pianoforte in the lobby, who would've thought the widowed lady only has three creatures in the solace of her household?

But of course, despite the few kiddos giddily leaping around and about the toughly cemented abode, the house never once lacked a single servant happily offering their services to the ever most humble aristocratic family. They rather consider it as the greatest honor to have even worked in this clan as they, amongst the fewer fews, have exuded nothing but kindness, generosity, and upholding of such exquisite manners despite their highly-acclaimed titles and places in Northumberland’s high-class society.

It’d be a blessing to be affiliated with the three children and whoever be so lucky to earn such fortune is very favored in life indeed. One would say they and the Yang family have always been the highly influential clans even of late and who wouldn't dare say? The two rich families have been one of the greatest friends of the city. Even their children could almost pass as siblings due to the tight-knit bond they shared over the years. Kindred spirits, I dare say.

This season will duly prepare the fine and charming jewel of the family, Lady Y/n, as the debutante’s ball is coming up briefly. A day well spent in the modiste is a woman's dainty bliss as the perfectly sewn dress is finally ready for appealing suitors and the royalty herself, the Queen.

“You look nothing more than gorgeous, sister. Madame Fleur has outdone herself again with another splendid piece.” Jay, the eldest of the family, pinches the silky fabric while gently pulling it upwards to gain better access to the dress’ features.

“Thank you, Jay. Although I admit, the measurements in the waist are a bit funny.”

“I wouldn't doubt that. It is Mother’s liking to keep your corset tight and deadly.” The eldest rubs his chin in contemplation. “Rest assured if you need any assistance in loosening that wretched piece of torture, Niki and I will be of help at the ball.”

“Again, brother, thank you. And speaking of help, where's Niki? He was supposed to help me with my waltz today.”

"I have no idea. Last I saw him he was with Daniel. Shouldn't he be home by now?"

Without any warning, the youngest comes dashing into the parlour like a carefree prince who just had the best slumber of his life.

“I’m right here. Forgive me, dear sister, for my unannounced absence in today's dance practice. I shall have you know, the Duke’s son sent us an invitation this morning. One that Daniel and I,” the two eldest eye him suspiciously, awaiting a usual remark whenever the topic is about the marquess. “refused to reject… surprisingly.” Niki clicks his tongue before proceeding to join his siblings on the cushioned couch.

“Shocker. Tell me, brother, was your day positively horrific?” Jay sarcastically huffed. “Oh, you don't have the slightest idea.” The two boys joined together for a rather boisterous laugh that made the only lass cross her arms as she sits between the two brothers.

“How’s life treating Park?” Jay questions. “Oh, you know. The usual. Living in luxury as well as wasting it away. He seemed more ashen lately.” Niki downs a glass of water that was resting on the coffee table.

After a few more barbs and laughs against the Duke’s only son, Y/n decides to butt in as time’s a wastin. “Apologies for the intrusion, but it’s necessary for me to rehearse for the dances I might have in two days' time, unlike you two who are accustomed to sweeping girls off the dance floor. Come, Niki, before mother sees me to bed.”

In the middle of an exhausting rehearsal with his sister, Niki sits down on the edge of Y/n’s bed with both hands leaning on the mattress. “You could've asked Jay.” he mutters under his breath.

It's not that the boy was complaining to teach waltz, it was more of trying to keep himself away from social interactions for the time being as he felt the need to mope again after a long while.

“True, I could have. But I haven't seen you wandering about the house today. Except this morning when I was awakened by your harsh firing in the garden.” Y/n looks over her shoulders to give a playful glare at the nearly knackered, blonde-haired lad. “How was your day, Riki?”

“Don’t call me that.” He hisses.

“Must I remind you that I was the one who wiped your tushy when you were a tiny bum and I also-”

“Oh you must, mustn't you?” Niki throws his hands in the air in vexation. But his sister could only smile at him in a manner that he couldn't argue any further. “Fine. We did fencing today, with the Duke’s trophy of a son.”

“You know, I never understood your hatred towards that man. I envy Jay, honestly. He gets to listen to your burdens about the marquess and console you."

“Soon, sister. The story’s very… profound.” Niki lazily plops his body back on the fluffy mattress with both hands at the back of his head.

“You mean the feelings behind that story?”

“You're too keen on unearthing this from me, aren't you? You clever bean.” Niki smirks at his sister’s antics.

“Anything to have my little brother confess. I am your most favorite sibling after all, am I not?” Y/n intertwines her fingers with her brother’s and seals it with a comforting kiss right on his thumb.

“Whatever it is, no matter how inexpressible or profound it may be...”

“Thank you, Y/n. I’m going to miss these melodramatic moments with you.” The lass scoffs at Niki’s almost sweet words. “It's not like I’m guaranteed marriage this season.”

“Oh but mother will do anything to try and get you married. That's guaranteed right there. Although Jay will be meddling at most in choosing a husband who's fit enough for you. But whoever that lucky chap may be, as long as he makes you happy, he already has my blessing.”

“Do you think Jungwon will ask someone's hand this season?” Y/n joins her brother on the bed as they both stare at the ceiling in deep ponder. Niki gulps at the very sudden question from his sister, but he shrugs it away as he recalls a distant memory of her and Jungwon frequently fighting over twigs and branches when they were nothing but ten.

“Jay can only answer that for you. Why don’t you ask Sunoo? He never misses an opportunity to spill details about his brother to you.”

“But that would be too much, wouldn't it?” Y/n sighs in exhaustion. “I can never get that man to look in my direction.”

“He’d be damned to even try to, especially when Jay’s around. He may be his best pal but Jay has always been very protective about you.”

“Whoever’s the pretty lady to be asked by Jungwon will definitely be the luckiest girl, I bet.”

The boy has all the means to help his sister as he is deeply affiliated with Jungwon’s brother, Daniel. But Niki could only look at her in pity thinking of all the years Y/n has set her heart on the oblivious boy next door, only the latter seems to care less in bearing the lady’s genuine sentiments.

"Yang Jungwon!" A stern voice from a woman in her fifties resonates throughout the lad's powder room.

"Mother." He monotonously mumbled.

"Did I hear it correctly? You're not to dance with anyone at the ball?" With two hands on her waist, the young lord could almost see his mother's vein popping out on her wrinkled forehead.

"I suppose brother spilled the tea, huh? And yes, mother, you heard it correctly."

"Madness! If it weren't for Sunoo's knowledge of this I wouldn't have known. God knows what's going on inside of that brain of yours!"

"Mother, I am not fond of-"

"Nonsense! Not even the daughter of our dearest friend, Lady Park?"

"Most especially not her." Jungwon mutters under his breath.

"Do you even hear the absurdity of your words?"

"Certainly, I do, mother."

"Oh god, oh dear. You're giving me a headache right now." She rubs her temple in utter anxiety followed by a frustrated exhale. Lady Yang fumbles the surface of her dress until she got a handful of its fabric, gripping it upwards to free her steps from the hindrances while turning back from her son to leave him be. Until the eldest shows up from his supposedly brief reading schedule in the pantry.

“Ah! There you are. Talk some sense into your brother will you, dear? I might collapse if I bother to argue even more about his foolishness.” And Lady Yang leaves the two swiftly before they can even utter a word.

“What is it that you've done to mother now?” Sunoo, the eldest, walks slumpily towards Jungwon’s side while half-slamming the book on the marble counter.

“Shouldn't I be asking you that?” Jungwon side-eye him with a sneer.

“She was interrogating me with her unconquerable motherly vexes if you must know. Sincerely, brother, I'm not one to lie. Though, I did try my best.” The younger boy could only scoff at the sassy rebuttal from his brother.

“You could've tried harder. Or maybe, you could've just silenced yourself. Marvelous idea, isn't it?”

“Or maybe, you can put on a little effort to satisfy mother’s hopes even for one night. Brilliant, isn't it?”

Jungwon hisses as he unbotton his puff sleeves one by one with Sunoo looking at him in an almost scorn, pitying his brother for being a complete idiot, not to mention a coward too.

“I’m not a coward if that's what you're thinking. Let’s hear it, what would you have me do, brother?” The younger one looks at his brother’s reflection through the mirror like a brazen knight ready to be thrown into war. With both hands resting on the shiny countertop, he bites his bottom lip with a foreseeable answer in mind.

Sunoo taps the boy’s shoulder before heading to the door to leave him in his fickling decisions.

“Lady Y/n Park. Two dances, brother, then you can pray to spend the rest of your nights in peace.”

Jungwon gulps down followed by a deep sigh the moment Sunoo left the room, like an exhale he’s been trying to hold underwater for over a minute.

He could only hope that those two dances will be the last of it, or he could kiss his peaceful nights goodbye… forever.

*send me an ask or a message if you wish to be added on this series' taglist!

ㅡ ©ENHA-WOODZIES, 2021