#and I'm so thankful for everyone who participated in this
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tired transmasc from earlier. My discomfort with those who believe in "transandrophobia" is not from self-hate nor from radfems. It’s from listening to transfems. And I don’t believe men or masculinity are bad at all!! I am in community with with men and mascs and with women + fems all the time. It’s just plain ignorant to say we don’t have male privilege and are actually oppressed for being men. We do have privilege. The whole "everyone is saying men are evil!!" thing sounds so much like incel behaviour it’s really off putting.
hello again! thanks for dropping by, let me see if i can help explain things better, and as to why it's not okay to put down other trans men and deny that they are experience oppression just because you, one person, believes they are not. dont take this personally, but much like gravity, you not believing in it doesn't mean it's not happening. it's happening, you're just refusing to acknowledge it. this is the equivalent of plugging one's ears and humming when someone else starts talking
i'm gonna call this behavior for what it is, because yourself & every other self-flagellating trans man & transmasc who says transandrophobia doesn't exist because it belittles trans women are just hurting people ON PURPOSE with a thin guise of saying "listen to trans women!!!!!" i really hope you understand that trans women can see through that. we can tell that you're doing this specifically to hurt people, not to give trans women a platform to stand on. you think you are telling people to listen to trans women, but what you are doing is SILENCING trans men & mascs in order to do that. you can't do that to your own gender. you're silencing yourself in the process. you're participating in transmasculine erasure and this is not a good thing. don't be proud of that. don't be proud of erasing the things your siblings go through.
I have to be really, really honest with you and tell you that this kissing up to trans women for brownie points stuff is really, really obvious and none of us like it. Like I'm not being mean. Please don't take this in a sarcastic tone. I am stock serious when I say that trans women & transfems can tell when you are doing things to pander to us to act like you care about transfems and transfemininity. We can tell this is desperate virtue signalling to not look transmisogynistic and nothing else. I'm serious. You are hating people on purpose with the guise of trying to help trans women. You do not have to silence someone else in order to let trans women talk and listen to them.
If you do not want transfems & trans women to be silenced: do not silence someone else. You do not solve this problem by silencing someone else. We solve the problem by listening to each other, not forcing the other to sit in silence while only one person talks. You don't solve the problem by doing that exact thing to someone else. You're creating a new problem.
privilege is a power structure, trans men do not suddenly shoot up from oppressed woman to neurotypical cishet white able bodied man in terms of status in society. i need people to get this into their heads that trans men do not and will not ever shoot directly up the privilege ladder and instantly become abusive and predator and holding power over all the other queers. like this is completely fabricated. you can stop believing that now, it's quite literally made up by trans/rad fems because they do not interact with trans men irl to see that they struggle.
trans men are not oppressed for being men: they're oppressed for being TRANS men. the trans part is what they're being oppressed for. do you not see transmascs and trans men as trans? because if so that is highly disturbing. and don't call that "regular transphobia" because that's not true and you know it isn't trans men and mascs are oppressed... for being TRANS men. seriously. you gotta stop focusing on "men bad" so hard that you literally forget that trans men are trans. back it up. like seriously i'm dead serious. back it up one step. before you focus on the "man" part, think about the "trans" part and how you're basically denying that trans men are trans because you are so wrapped up in radfem hate. TRANS men do not become cis men after they come out. they don't become cis men after transitioning. this, quite literally, is transandrophobia. what you said right there is an example of transandrophobia. sober up, you are not thinking clearly.
the thing is that we do not have male privilege wholesale as a group. that is a lie you have been told. you have to realize most trans men never gain any form of cishet male privilege. some trans men may pass well, but if the word gets out that they're trans, they are no longer respected or viewed as a man at all. especially if you're a man of color. trans men may have an amount of privilege depending on the situation, like being someone's manager, but it is not male privilege in every situation, nor is it anywhere near the privilege that cishet perisex white abled men have.
when we have this type of conversation, we are assuming that all trans men are 100% cis passing who will never be questioned. which happens, but that does not mean those trans men do not struggle. in fact, trans men like that suffer greatly in terms of reproductive care. cis passing trans men are often outright denied reproductive care, and some need that to live. some need to see a gynecologist for a variety of reasons, and being a cis passing man can shoot you in the foot. trans men struggle in health care almost universally. trans men are constantly misgendered in medical settings, and are very often treated as though they are cis women by medical staff no matter what. trans men and mascs are also very commonly assaulted by doctors and other medical professionals
most trans men do not get paid more at their jobs. trans men struggle to get promotions. trans men struggle to get employment in male dominated fields. most trans men still deal with homelessness, sexual assault, physical assault, domestic violence, addiction, misogyny and more. trans men deal with corrective rape. trans men deal with stalking. trans men do not magically have it better in society the second they come out. it creates a whole new host of problems
gaslighting strangers and telling them they're not being abused and oppressed isn't helping anyone. i'm serious. please stop this behavior because you are the one hurting people. care about trans men and mascs. you don't have to throw transmascs and trans men under the bus in order for trans women to be heard. we don't need to be pandered to like this. it's not flattering or helping anyone. you don't need to kiss up to people who literally hate your gender.
i need you to understand that people who talk like this hate transmascs and trans men. they don't like you. they don't care about you. leave those kinds of environments. you're going to regret it if you don't. if you're thinking about your oppression aaalllll day long its all you're ever gonna see and eventually, it's gonna crush you under its weight. be careful. that's dangerous thinking.
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Turns out I'm super busy today, so I'm extending this until next Sunday (The 2nd!!) Thank you everyone who has participated so far and thank you for the patience <3
Hello, hello! Nice to meet you or glad to see you again! I'm SeilieCourt or whatever you've come to call me~ For my 400 follower event I've ran a poll and my followers decided on an edit contest! Below will be the rules and explanation for what that entails. Thank you all for 400 followers! What is it? And edit contest is literally what it says on the box. People interested in participating just have to make edits and tag me in them. More in depth rules are below!
Who can Enter? Anyone that isn't typical DNI criteria~ If you're a follower that's even better! As long as you follow the rules you're welcome to enter.
What are the rules? Each participant may only enter in 5 edits of their choosing, however just 1 is enough to enter. (An icon set of 6 icons + a stimboard are 2 entries). I ask that you use this rentry to pick characters and edit types I like/prefer, this is to avoid bias on my end and also to eliminate discomfort with entries of series I don't like or know. If you do not adhere to this rule I will exclude you from the event. Sorry! Please tag me in all entries and tag your posts with 'seiliecourt400' ! The contest ends on Jan 26th and starts the second this post is live!
What are the prizes? Each person that enters (posts at least 1 edit) can claim an icon set from me, more than likely they will be dash icons unless inspo hits me >w<;
To help judge places I'll be having a non-bias party also look over the edits!! First place will be allowed 5 edits of their choice (icons, stimboard, gif set, layouts, rentry graphics or rentry template, wallpapers)
Second place will be allowed 3 edits of their choice (icons, stimboard, gif set, layouts, wallpapers)
Third place will be allowed 1 set of icons and 1 complex edit (layout, stimboard or wallpaper)
Tagging...!
@didlivio @myuumei @cobaltpegasi @aurore-vacances @canarysage @rookmeo @strawberrysnipes @hiddencircus @lovesick-level-up and anyone else I'm missing!!
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Names revealed and returned. (context)
[First] Prev <--> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#red vs green saga#ouyang zizhen#jin ling#lan sizhui#lan jingyi#Nameless red disciple#*Tin can crumpling sounds*#[The Nameless Red Disciple] has forfeited their name. Ouyang Zizhen is green now.#Thank you to everyone who participated in the poll! Everyone campaigned very hard! I am glad to see the final result was rather close B'*)#Nameless red disciple is sticking around still but to a lesser extent. They need to go on a gender quest now#I hope most people saw the red vs green poll. Or else this is even more wild and wacky than intended#This comic changed so many times and I'm still not sure it's as funny as I hoped it would be...oh well.#Jin Ling may one day need to go on his own gender quest but thats many years in the future#for now JL is so out of the loop on everything. He is aware gay people exist and thats it#I was looking back at old comics and noticed that LSZ and LJY were frequently standing drawn very small in the bg reacting to things#so heres a little throwback to that era B*)#This fills in for the part where the juniors fight the living corpse hoard. So there's at least a sliver of canon timeline going on#We're getting so close to the end of season 1! In retrospect I have spent too much time on this arc *even with* cutting out several comics#it's all a learning process!
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In case you didn't know already, I'm part of this huge TSP neko march collab<3 the full video is on youtube!
youtube
#again I'm so SO glad to be part of this#working on this was fun but exhausting#WORTH IT THOUGH#biggest thank you and deepest gratitude to bear.. kat.. and everyone who participated and made the collab possible<3 WE ALL DID GREAT!!!#the stanley parable#the stanley parable ultra deluxe#tsp#stanley parable#the narrator#animation#cartoon#walk cycle#animation meme#animation collab#Youtube#my art#tsp narrator
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AITAH For accusing my former best friend of trying to break up my relationship, and promptly ending our thirteen-year long friendship?
Posted 18th of May, 2021
I (18 M) need some outside opinions.
Background information. I have been best friends with Pow (18 F) since we were six, I first met her when my Godfather Benny introduced me to his best friend's newly adopted daughters. Both girls had been in the foster system for nearly a year after their parents died, and were lucky enough to get adopted out by their Godfather Van after he was able to track them down and prove to the courts and children's services that he was a safe option.
At first, I was a little intimidated by the older sister, we'll call her Daisy (she's named after a flower and I don't think she'll appreciate me using her real name) because she seemed angry at everyone but quickly put on a friendlier face when she saw how nervous I was.
When I saw Pow, I felt an instant attraction to her (not romantically, I was just interested in how pretty her blue hair was) and ended up spending our first encounter trying to get her to open up and talk to me. She was traumatized by the past year and had turned silent as a result. I felt so proud when I finally got her to smile and giggle, we became thick as thieves afterward, she was my best friend.
We shared everything together, our interest in academics, such as art, mathematics, video games, dancing, robotics, computers, and later DND.
There were some things we did separately. Pow competed in gymnastics, and I would take part in skateboarding competitions. And without fail always came to each other's thing to show our support.
Pow had some difficulties with her older brother Lo (fake name), he constantly took his frustrations out on her and everyone pretty much gave up on him ever getting a clue and stopping. So, we all tried to get Pow to stand up for herself, we figured if she stood up to her "bully" then he would learn to back off. However, Pow was a shy one and never spoke up for herself. As a result, she was hesitant around others and had difficulty making any friends outside of myself.
This became more apparent once we got to high school. We had a few classes away from each other and in these classes, I made some new friends, from there I got convinced to join the basketball team when some of my new friends told me it could help with my college perspectives. In lieu I convinced Pow to try out for the cheerleading squad, as per my new friends' advice, I made it onto the basketball team but Pow didn't make it onto the squad which I was surprised by because she's a pretty decent dancer.
Because I was on the basketball team, I wasn't able to participate in most of the same clubs as Pow and ended up moving on from these interests to focus more on my future, which is understandable because I can't spend every day playing make-believe anymore.
Pow was set in her ways however and seemed to want to continue playing make-believe and seemed determined to hate my new friends. She constantly avoided them and would rather sit alone during lunch than hang around me when they were around, she would always get a sour look on her face whenever they were around me (which was a lot of the time) and would decline invitations to hang out with them, she made no effort to get to know them properly and this hurt. But I still persisted with our friendship because, despite everything, I do care for her.
And then I met my now GF Kara (not her real name), Kara is sweet and funny, she writes me poems and little love notes with cute little love hearts and takes her academic future seriously. She has been trying to convince me that my friendship with Pow is toxic and understands why I couldn't just end the friendship but says that I wouldn't be the bad guy if I did.
I would get uncomfortable whenever she brought this up, but more and more recently I began to see things from Kara's perspective, albeit guiltily. I brought up my concerns with Daisy and her GF, and they were convinced that Pow is probably a bit possessive considering their own problems with her. Pow hates Cat (the GF) and even made her cry after Cat made an offhanded comment about law enforcement that seemed to trigger her. Daisy promised to speak to Pow about everything after everything between them had cooled down, she and Daisy got into a massive blowup about making Cat cry, something that Cat was feeling seriously guilty about.
So, when, three days after Kara and I decided to become official, Pow pulled me aside during lunch and confessed that she "loved me" and didn't want to just be friends anymore. I lost it.
I actually shouted at her in the middle of the lunch crowd and shamed her in front of the whole school. I called her a "possessive psychopath" who can't let anyone be happy, she pretended to look confused and asked what I was talking about, and I reminded her I was in a relationship as in I have a girlfriend. She managed to conjure up some tears and said that she didn't know, but I wasn't falling for it. I flat out, told her that I was done with her and this "friendship" and left her standing there.
At the time I couldn't feel anything but angry, and vindicated. My friends were laughing and joking about the situation, and Kara was super cuddly with me and kept asking me if I was okay and saying that I didn't do anything that wasn't due.
But now I'm questioning myself, with the anger cooled off. All I can see is Pow's sad doe-eyed look and the sound of the rest of the school snickering at her. She didn't turn up for classes for the rest of the day, and on my way home I heard a group of girls sl** shaming her.
Zer, my one new friend that Pow actually gets along with, called me an AH, and she thought I was a better person than that, and that she was now reconsidering her friendship with me.
So, Reddit. AITAH for ending a toxic relationship?
(This is a fanfic, please read tags)
#jinx#arcane#mylo#claggor#ekko#timebomb#arcane au#arcane jinx#jinx | powder#vi arcane#caitlyn kiramman#benzo#Vander#arcane fanfic#AITAH Arcane AU#Zeri#Interactive fan fic#This post is set three years before Jinx's own reddit post#please reblog and comment as if you were responding to OP#Brownie points to those who want to post as characters from LOL or Arcane#TRIGGER WARNING FOR BULLY#Unreliable narrator#Please comment to OP as if he were a stranger on the internet and not as a well-loved character#THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO HAS PARTICIPATED SO FAR#I'm having incredible fun with this#<3
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Lights, Camera, Noco Collaborators: Authors
Kiss by @aaliyahsthings
The Guards Aren't Supposed To Make Out With Each Other! by @starlight-tequila
What goes on behind the cameras by @hardcore-solangelo-19 + @i-dont-muggle
Here are the written contributions! These are all lovely stories you've made, and I'm thankful I could get such wonderful stories displayed together like this! Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for lending your talents to this collaboration!!
#I'm so serious all of these stories are so so wonderful and I will enjoy rereading them for the coming weeks#months. who knows#to everyone that participated and even the ones that couldn't: thank you for your enthusiasm and contributions for lights camera noco!! <3#total drama#total drama noah#td noah#total drama cody#td cody#cody anderson#noco#total drama noco#td noco#lights camera noco#noco collab saga
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day thirty-one • @gallavichthings kinktober 2024
↳ 31 days of kinks & cards in 3 sentences
WAX PLAY x THREE OF WANDS
By the end of the night, you’re dripping with come and covered in the tri-colored candle Ian insisted on buying at the new sex shop down the block. You’ve survived hours of sensory overload like you’ve never before experienced: the hot sting of the wax, the cool caress of breath blowing it dry, the ache in your balls, the pulse of your prostate, the fullness of Ian’s cock buried so deep your belly bulges, the warm splatter of spunk—yours, a relief, a reward; his, a benefit, a brand. Later, you’ll breathe and bathe, cleaning yourself of all but your filthy memories, but now, you blink and beam, soaking up what you can of Ian’s attention, his praise, and his unconditional, unrelenting love.
#HAPPY KINKTOBER YA FILTHY ANIMALS 👻🖤#that's a fucking wrap#i really wanted to participate & i wanted to finish (😉) & i'm so proud of all of my dirty lil babies#thank you to everyone who reblogged my work this month & screamed in the tags - you made every day so fun!#master list coming atcha later today so you can catch up as needed or revisit your faves!#also Also ALSO - the spirit of kinktober doesn't end when october does!#if you have ideas that you want to see *come* to fruition PLEASE FOLLOW THOSE THREADS & MAKE NASTY ART#i will read & flail all year round!#alright now for a cold fucking shower hehehe#shameless#shameless fanfiction#gallavich#kinktober 2024#ian x mickey#bee writes 🐝 ✍🏼
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Happy Secret Saito day!!! 💛
I'm so happy to have been able to participate!
So here is my @secretsaito gift for @eyedelweiss, whose prompt was warmth. With such a soft prompt I couldn't help but create something sweet and soft for our favorite dreamhusbands.
I hope you enjoy it 💛
#secret saito 2024#secret saito#I hope it's okay to post it here too now#I'm so excited about this event and all the gifts it's so cheery#thank you to everyone who every year makes this event possible and everyone who participated#inception#arthur x eames#my fic
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Happy New Year, @spear-gsun , I was your @touhousecretsanta for this year- I have one fresh miss Mizuchi for you!
Apologies for how late it is! (Thank you for waiting warmly ^^;) I hope the new year treats you well!
#FIRST THINGS FIRST I'm very sorry for the long long warm wait ;;#there's actually a second side to this with reimu → (cool epic showdown style) but it has been a LONG time since I've drawn anything#i way underestimated how slow i work AND i sort of had to re-learn my own art style which was awkward ://#BUT I'd like to come back to this possibly maybe#(which is also why I'm posting it on this blog instead dbvdgssg)#i had a hard time thinking about HOW to draw her (newhu peoblems) but i think in the end i went for Pretty Similar to Reimu-#but with some added whispiness to her hair (kind of like how Harukawa drew Shion) bc .. spirit i guess XD#ANYWAY for now I wish you a happy and healthy new year!#to the mods and everyone who participated thank you for this year as always!#touhou#Miyadeguchi Mizuchi#uhh this is the first time I've ever posted an image from mobile so if it ends up severely broken I'm sorry LMAO
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the rover - wuthering waves
BASIC INFO
NAME / ALIAS : yinyue / yin ( yínyuè - 银月 - silver moon ) AGE : unknown ( appears mid to late 20s ) GENDER : female ORIENTATION : demisexual / demiromantic CLASS : resonator - rover ATTRIBUTE : spectro & havoc WEAPON : sword POWER & ABILITIES : vessel of sound ( capable of absorbing all sounds in the world ), close-to-mid range combat, sound waves manipulation, lie detector
PHYSICAL TRAITS
EYE COLOUR : liquid gold, glow brighter when using her power HAIR COLOUR : jet black with inner streaks of silver HEIGHT : 178 cm ( 5'10 ) SKIN : fair TATTOOS & MARKINGS : a mark of a soundwave ( tacet mark ) on the back of her right hand. smaller and black when dormant, expand and glow bright gold when using her power. pierced ears.
PERSONALITY
POSITIVE TRAITS : compassionate, fearless, observant, respectful NEUTRAL TRAITS : decisive, determined, honest, open-minded NEGATIVE TRAITS : stubborn, temperamental, reckless, private LIKES : calming sounds, the moon, night breeze DISLIKES : sharp noises, loud sounds, lies ALIGNMENT : chaotic good RANDOM FACTS : sensitive to sounds, play with her hair when thinking / nervous
BACKGROUND
" that must be why i'm here, to put a stop to it. " the rover of unknown origins. awakened with no memories and has since been on a journey, tracking down traces of her own past and her purpose of awakening. explore where your heart takes you. slay calamons with your niellore blade. end the cycle of calamity. " is this the beginning of a new journey ? brimming with novel sounds, and untold stories ... "
#.[ yinyue | rover ]#.headcanon: yinyue | rover#.test muses#[ i'll amend the background part more once i go through all the CBT content#bUT FOR NOW PLS TAKE HER !! SHE'S HEREEEE !!#i'll make a starter call for her later ! gOSH I'M SO EXCITED TO WRITE & EXPLORE HER#AND THANK YOU EVERYONE WHO PARTICIPATED IN THE POLL FOR HER NAME !! ]
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silver do u have a praise kink
“ - no. ”
the response is immediate, the glare hardening his gaze before the syllable even leaves his tongue. silver has half a mind to walk away, and so he does - that sort of information was a privilege to hear / to be given away, and he was in no giving mood.
kinks? him? he hasn't thought about anything along the lines of sex since he was a teenager, when curiosity let thoughts wander and he'd allowed himself that knowledge quest just once. only for them to be squashed seconds later when faced with an immediate disgust.
( disgust? or was it something else? )
but maybe a few steps away, thoughts wander to that wondrous day he’d spent with them, how it began in an unbound lazy morning and how it led to them walking silver step by step through cooking breakfast … how it all felt so much like he belonged / found a home.
how many times a single word had been enough to render him speechless. how ' good ' had evolved into ' perfect, ' how grusha had smiled at him when he'd been successful at a given step. the flush on silver's face that followed. the feeling that followed.
there’s warmth to his cheeks even now at the recollection, and he keeps walking, slightly faster, to one of his more secluded areas.
maybe it were grusha asking … he would've answered differently.
there was a line he was sure he'd have to mull over, something between the question of whether this constitutes as what they call a ' kink, ' or if it was just something silver liked. surely … there was a difference? and if there was one, what was the line? at what point does a combined physiological and mental reaction become - that?
he surmises, perhaps it has something to do with the distinct lack of praise as a child - right in the face of being force fed brutality, pain, and faced with utter survival. this softness that silver had felt with them ... and only them.
praise has always been something he'd just wave off. blue's compliments and applause were always welcome, but he'd feel a much less intense reaction ; perhaps even brush her off, considering on what had earned him her praise. the professors didn't really pick and choose their words too carefully, and they'd always been impressed with silver, making their compliments feel hollow and easy to shove aside. steven's ... that was an entirely different story.
maybe it really was grusha.
introspection. silver's forte.
( serpent below and phoenix above, who the fuck was he now? )
#nsft#oh watch me turn a meme into an entire flavor post#i'm normal your honor i'm normal#whoooops finally participating in sinday LOL#thanks to everyone who keeps going in my dms like 'so praise kink huh?'#to watch silver devolve in real time has been the best experience of writing him so bad being so fr
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man they really weren't kidding when they said the grief of late diagnosed autism hits hard oooh boy did it hit fucking hard today
#my evaluation isn't til February 🙃😵💫🥴#but my therapist and doctor are both like yep and my bf professionally works with autistic people and he's like you're super autistic dude#anyways super fun to find out that I'm literally blind to so many important parts of human nature and socialization#and by being blind to it I've also been completely blind to who knows how many times I've unintentionally hurt other people's feelings#I'm almost 27 and my bf is having to explain to me how to participate in a relationship#and it turns out not everyone is afraid and scared of everything all the time#and the grief of like I needed so much help and never got it#and looking back on my struggles and like fuck I needed accommodations#it's insane no one said anything about autism (to my face) until I met my bf#I've had at least 2 psyc evals in the past few years and also have seen several therapists and was in a whole therapy program#and like I had a LOT of the signs as a kid and even had to learn to hold my pencil#my sister and I suspect our parents were told but our mom has a big aversion to the autism word even tho my nephew is being assessed rn#and that kid is helllaaaa autistic#anyways ok thanks for reading love u bye
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Aaaand we've reached another FINAL CONTENDERS poll, folks!
Yet again, you had 25 (well, 26 actually, but I got scolded for re-including the dark velvet shirt because of the fluffy hair 😂) options to choose from, you picked your favourite ones and now let me ask you ONE last time:
Presenting: The Great KinnPorsche Fashion Showdown (nobody asked for)
A few weeks ago, I made a poll about the best dressed KinnPorsche character. Tankhun won that one, followed by Vegas and Tay. Legitimate results - but the tags had some really interesting arguments for a bunch of different contenders. So why don't we take a closer look? Why don't we go through all the characters and their outfits one by one, choose the best one for each of them and repeat the initial poll at the end?
Sooo...that's exactly what we're doing right now.
*For the characters with more than 10 outfits - like Vegas - I'm making multiple polls and put the best voted ones into a final one - hence the FINAL CONTENDERS poll you have right before you!
**I deciced to include a WILDCARD - an outift that didn't win any of the pre-selections but was most frequently mentioned in the tags and comments.
Tankhun - FINAL CONTENDERS (CAPE vs. CRUELLA DE VIL vs. FUNERAL FIT ) (closes March 22nd!!!!!!)
Vegas - Part 1 (CLOSED) | Part 2 (CLOSED) | Part 3 (CLOSED)
Kim - Part 1 | Part 2 coming March 23rd | FINAL CONTENDERS coming March 30th
You can find the links to all the polls (as I gradually post them) HERE (pinned on my profile).
LET'S GET VOTING! 🎉
#ohhhh it's another battle of champions! The Red Velvet Shirt*TM vs. The Witchy Shirt*TM - I guess we all knew it would come to this 👀#I'm really REALLY excited to see that one play out ngl#and I love that we have a velvet shirt a satin shirt and a b/w shirt in the final poll -#it's the PERFECT representation of Vegas' beloved shirt collection - he would approve 😂❤#I debated to give the wildcard to the battle suit but the white suit definitely got more love - so the people get what they want 😌#and I feel like it fits right in with the shirts#anyways#thanks again to everyone who participated so far - this is so much fun because of you guys ❤❤❤#the great kinnporsche fashion showdown#kinnporche the series#kinnporsche outfits#kinnporsche costumes#kinnporsche polls#kinnporsche fashion#vegas theerapanyakul#in the queue you go
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,,,
#Hey hey y'all#I'm about to crash for the night#but before I do I just wanted to say one last thank you to everyone who participated in the event#it was so much fun to do with y'all#and I had a blast writing it tired as I am#I posted all the prompts from last year and this year in the masterlist#admittedly upon checking it I realized I miss-linked one#so If you happen to be poking around and find any incorrect links#just let me know which ones so I can fix them#Okay I'm going to bed now goodnight everyone! :D
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I just want to thank each and every person who has shared the name they have lit a candle for; it is incredibly... reassuring to see the outpouring of people who are sharing the anguish that I have been feeling. I encourage as many people as possible to continue lighting candles - the more people who remember those who suffered the shoah are more people who won't forget. The more people that speak up and remember those we have lost is better. Please remember their memories. Please remember these people - those we know and those we haven't found. It is beyond imperative to never forget this.
If anyone is interested, please feel free to light a digital candle through Illuminate. I got a name a few years back, and it's a name I won't forget. May every name we have found be a blessing. May their names never be forgotten. May we never forget.
Never again means now.
#yom hashoah#shoah tw#thank you so much to those who participated. i wasn't anticipating this outpouring and there's... so many feelings i'm having this year#how do you deal with this level of grief? how do you survive? how does your heart keep beating?#the only respite is knowing that the people of israel lived but that nobody experiences this profound grief alone#i just want to acknowledge this incredible response from everyone - it didn't go unnoticed#thank you for sharing every single piece of information you can
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resurface | kang dae-ho x gn! reader
*.✧ synopsis: after years of heartbreak and betrayal, you’ve learned to bury your emotions to survive. but when your high school sweetheart, kang dae-ho, unexpectedly appears in the deadly game you're also in, the walls you built around your heart begin to crack. As past and present collide, survival becomes about more than just staying alive *.✧ word count: 10.1k (yeah) *.✧ warnings: squidgame season 2 spoilers, violence, death, trauma, toxic relationships, cursing, fluff, angst. your number is 389. *.✧ note: dae-ho won against in-ho by just .2%! thank you all so much for the support. my in-ho fanfic reached 1K notes already, while 1k+ of you participated in my poll! I'm very thankful for the support :> i was in the middle of editing in-ho's fic when the polls finished, when i saw how close the votes were i laughed. luckily i only needed to tweak a bit in this fic for it to be done. enjoy reading!! >:) dae-ho is such a cutiee!! long italicized texts are flashbacks. masterlist | request here
“Shit, I just moved didn’t I?” Player 196 asked in a lighthearted tone after swatting the bee that landed on her. Before anyone could answer, she dropped dead to the ground, a bullet from god knows where piercing through her skull.
The area erupted in chaos as players realized the horrific truth: to be eliminated meant death. Others tried to make a desperate run for it, while some froze, paralyzed from fear, and you were one of them.
Your eyes trailed down to the corpse laying a few feet in front of you. Your heart dropped. That could’ve been you.
You should've trusted your gut. You should’ve known that whatever bullshit that shady man in a suit said was too good to be true. But here you were, paying the price of your stupid decisions.
The air was thick with panic as a bloody massacre unfolded before your eyes. People who ran got shot left and right, while those who stayed survived. Once it cleared those who moved, the mechanical doll turned around, its eerie voice rising in song. The players were too stunned to move. Only one person had the courage to act—Player 456. With unwavering resolve, they ran ahead and instructed you all to hide behind someone bigger than you.
The rest of you followed suit, moving quickly. You ended up behind Player 230—Thanos, a rapper drowning in 1.19 billion won of debt. You didn’t trust him, and your instincts proved right. As the game progressed, he shoved people ahead of him, ending their lives without hesitation. Yet, you had to give him some credit: the man could hold a pose.
One by one, players crossed the finish line. As the timer reached 0, the hellish game finally ended. You were shaking, your body trembling with the aftershock, but at least you were still alive. The guards escorted everyone back to the main area, where the survivors collapsed to their knees, begging for mercy, begging to go home. You could hear them, desperate, pleading. It was almost unbearable.
“There must’ve been a misunderstanding,” the square guard’s voice rang out, cutting through the despair. His tone was flat and devoid of emotion. “We are not trying to harm you. We are presenting you with an opportunity.”
His words did little to reassure anyone. Your eyes rolled at their response. Misunderstanding my ass! The chance of survival, of escape, felt more like a cruel joke than anything else. But before the guard could continue, a voice rose above the rest, sharp and commanding.
“Clause three of the consent form!” Player 456 called out, his voice filled with defiance.
Everyone turned to look at him, some surprised, others hopeful. You were no different. You hadn’t expected anyone to stand up in this situation. You didn’t even know what clause three was, you skipped that part and immediately signed the form, but there was something in the way he spoke that made you believe he knew more than the rest of you.
“The games may be terminated upon a majority vote, correct?” he demanded, his eyes never leaving the guard.
The square guard responded without missing a beat, his tone unchanged. “That is correct.”
“Then let us take a vote right now,” Player 456 pressed, his voice firm and unyielding.
There was a brief silence before the guard spoke again, acknowledging the request with a chilling calmness. “Of course, we respect your right to freedom of choice.” He paused, and in that moment, you could feel the hope that had been buried deep inside everyone start to stir. It wasn’t much, but it was something. “But first, let me announce the prize amount that has been accumulated.”
With the press of a button, the room shifted. The cold, sterile space took on a strange new color, bathed in a soft, eerie glow. A massive piggy bank, almost comically large, descended from the ceiling, its mechanical limbs creaking with the weight. The sound of bills filling it echoed through the room, a surreal sound that only added to the strangeness of the moment. It felt like something out of a twisted casino, a game that didn’t care about the lives it destroyed, only the money it could accumulate.
“The number of players eliminated in the first game is 91,” the guard continued, as the money filled the piggy bank at a steady pace. “Therefore, a total of 9.1 billion won has been accumulated. If you choose to quit the games now, the 365 remaining players can equally divide the 9.1 billion won and leave with your share.”
“How much is that?” Player 100 asked.
“Each person’s share would be 24,931,500 won,” the guard answered flatly, almost as if it was an insignificant amount.
You could hear the gasps of disbelief that rippled through the crowd. It was hard to wrap your mind around it. You almost died for that? The amount seemed insignificant compared to the terror you’d experienced. You could hear others murmuring, their frustration and disbelief growing louder. What good was 24 million won when you had been pushed to the brink of death, when you had witnessed so much suffering?
“Twenty million? You said 45.6 billion!” Player 230 shouted, his voice filled with outrage.
The guard’s response was cold, calculated. “The rule was that a hundred million won would be accumulated for each eliminated player. If you choose to play the next game, and more players are eliminated, the prize amount will increase accordingly.”
The answer felt hollow, like an empty promise that was meant to keep you on the hook.
“Then how much will it be if you survive until the very end?” someone asked, their voice tinged with desperation.
“As I already told you, the total prize money for all 456 players is 45.6 billion won. Those who make it through all six games will equally divide the 45.6 billion won.”
A hush fell over the room, as the reality of the prize set in. 45.6 billion won. It was an obscene amount of money. The sum felt impossible, unreal. But at the same time, it was exactly what so many of you needed. The temptation of that massive prize loomed in the air, a beacon in the darkness. Could you really leave with only 24 million? Was that all your life was worth?
“So, if you’re the only one to survive, you get 45.6 billion won?” Player 230 asked, as if the question needed to be confirmed, just to make sure he hadn’t misunderstood.
“That is correct,” the guard answered, his voice detached, like it was just another part of the game.
For a brief moment, the room seemed to breathe in unison. The weight of the prize, the gravity of the situation, pressed down on everyone. People began to murmur among themselves, the excitement in their voices unmistakable. The idea of that unimaginable sum of money—more than they had ever seen in their lives—became a tangible thing in the air. People who had been trembling in fear moments before now looked around, their eyes glinting with a new kind of hunger. The atmosphere shifted, the air thick with the scent of greed and desperation.
“So we can take a vote again and decide to leave after the next game?” someone asked, voice laced with uncertainty, but also with a flicker of hope.
“As promised in the consent form, you can take a vote after each game and decide to leave with the prize money accumulated up to that point,” the guard confirmed. “We always prioritize your voluntary actions.”
The voting began, and the room filled with tension once again. Player 456 was the first one to vote. He stepped forward, pressing X without hesitation. Others followed, some pressing X, others O. When your turn came, you felt your heart pounding in your chest. You didn’t hesitate. You stepped forward, pressing O with a sense of finality, the sound of the button clicking louder in your ears than it should have been. You placed the patch on your jacket, marking your decision, and walked back to your side of the room.
You didn’t look back.
You weren’t sure when you had made up your mind, but the choice was clear. Despite everything, despite the fear gnawing at the edges of your resolve, you knew you couldn’t walk away now.
Out there, in the real world, the debt that had dragged you into this nightmare would still be waiting. The vultures would circle, just as they always had, but now you could fight back. You could take a step toward something better. The thought of going back to the crushing weight of your debts, to the life that had led you to this point, filled you with dread. There was nothing for you out there anymore.
The prize, the money, the possibility of escaping this endless cycle—this was the only chance you had left. There was no turning back now.
As much as you sympathized with those who wanted to leave, You just couldn’t. Here, at least, there was hope. A sliver of it. And if you survived, you could finally break free. You could pay it all off. You could start over. For the first time in what felt like forever, you had a chance—one that you couldn’t let slip through your fingers.
Your gaze wandered to the others, watching as they made their decisions. Some pressed X with shaking hands, their faces filled with desperation to leave and go home. Others pressed O with grim determination, their eyes locked on the future, no matter how uncertain. And yet, the overwhelming weight of it all crashed down on you again, heavy and suffocating.
You looked up at the piggy bank hanging high above, its golden glow mocking you with promises of salvation. If you made it—if you became the lone survivor—you’d earn it all. 45.6 billion won. Enough to erase every debt. Enough to silence the loan sharks who haunted your dreams. Enough to leave it all behind and disappear.
But as you stared at it, bile rose in your throat. Was this all your life had become—fighting for money, sacrificing everything just to survive? Your stomach twisted as your fists clenched, nails digging into your palms.
Reaching for your necklace, you clutched it tightly, the familiar weight grounding you for a moment. Its warmth offered a flicker of comfort, but even that couldn’t silence the emptiness creeping in. Here, hope felt like a dangerous thing to hold onto.
Out there, you had nothing. No one. Over time, everyone had given up on you. Your friends had drifted away, unwilling to carry the weight of your problems. Your family had turned their backs, tired of the chaos and the shame. And then there was... him.
He left without a word. No explanation, no goodbye. Just gone, as if you had never mattered at all.
When he disappeared, it felt like the last thread holding you together unraveled. You tried to move on, to make sense of it, but the truth was simple: no one stayed. Out there, you were invisible—a burden no one wanted to carry.
But here? Here, you had a purpose. As twisted and brutal as it was, the games gave you something to hold onto. Every step forward felt like proof that you could still fight, still matter, even if it was only to yourself.
You tore your gaze from the piggy bank and stared down at your shoes. It used to be white— pure. Now it’s scuffed and worn, much like you. Each scratch and stain told a story of a life lived in survival mode, clinging to scraps of hope. You couldn’t help but wonder—if you walked away now, what would be waiting for you? Nothing but the same endless cycle of despair.
At least here, you had a chance. A sick, twisted, blood-soaked chance.
And that was more than the outside world had ever given you.
In the midst of your inner turmoil, you didn’t notice someone standing beside you. They were looking at you, as if they wanted to make small talk yet didn't know how.
There was something bugging Dae-ho and he didn't know what it was. He couldn't stay still, couldn't think properly, couldn’t stay calm. He desperately needs a distraction, and he needs it now. But what could he possibly do? He can't just slap himself or shout. No way, that's too embarrassing.
The male thought deeply before an idea popped up in his head. Eureka! He could try and talk to someone! His excitement died down as fast as it came. Yeah, he could try and talk to someone but who? His eyes scanned the crowd. To his dismay, most of the people surrounding him were scary oldies, and he was not willing to take the risk. He looked to his left, spotting a full head of hair.
His gaze landed on you. You're young, he thinks— the white spots in your hair were less than those around him. He felt a little nervous, unsure of how to approach you, but he had no choice. This was his chance.
He coughed lightly, a test to see if you would notice him.
No response.
He tried again, this time a bit louder.
Still nothing.
He began to get irritated, were you deaf or something? Shaking his irrational thoughts, Dae-ho got ready to fake cough again.
Then, out of nowhere, an old man in front of him turned and glared, sending a shiver down his spine. The male stopped, his face flushing. He needed to stop being a coward. He steeled himself, like the marine he was before doing it the right way.
He then stared at your unresponsive figure with intense, wide, and bulging eyes hoping that you would feel his intense stare and finally look at him. When that didn’t work, he began chanting “Hey! Look at me!” in his head just in case you were a mind reader.
To nobody's surprise, his ‘plan’ flunked. Letting out an audible sigh, Dae-ho shook his head. He stopped being a wuss and garnered courage like a true marine. He should just approach you the right way, a single tap on the shoulder wouldn't hurt anybody right? Right.
As soon as his hand touched your shoulder, you ducked down and sneezed—an odd timing. He froze, unsure whether this was a sign to stop or if you were actually a mind reader and was avoiding him. But before he could pull his hand away, you reverted back to your original position— bumping into his outstretched hand.
He jumped back, startled. His cheeks flushed again as he realized he’d intruded on your space. In a sudden burst of nervous energy, he bowed deeply— a perfect ninety degrees, his hands clasped in front of him.
“I’m really sorry! I didn’t mean to... you see, I was feeling a little bored and wanted to talk to someone. Between you and me, I don’t want to talk to some old gray-haired people in debt. Sorry if I made you uncomfortable, you’re free to slap me and ignore me!”
He spoke in one long breath, the words tumbling out faster than he could control. Then, he froze, bracing himself—waiting for a slap, a harsh word, anything to tell him he had crossed a line. Or maybe, just maybe, he was waiting for you to give him a sign that it was all okay. The silence that followed was suffocating, hanging between you like a heavyweight, neither of you dared to break.
When you didn’t respond, he began to doubt himself. Was this a joke? Was he imagining everything? Had he pushed too far?
And then—
“…Dae-ho…?”
The silence that was there from the beginning stretched even further as Dae-ho froze, his heart pounding. He could feel his chest tightening with every breath, his thoughts spinning in circles. Was this really happening?
He slowly lifted his head, praying, hoping that what he was thinking wasn’t true. His eyes scanned your face, searching for any sign that this was just some cruel illusion. He blinked hard, trying to clear his vision, but it didn’t help. You were still there, staring back at him, just as real as the cold walls of the room around him.
“[Name]...”
How could this be real? The years apart, the silence, the pain—it had all carved its place deep inside you, wounds that never fully healed. And yet, here he was, standing before you like a ghost dragged from the past to haunt you. It wasn’t fair. None of it was fair.
You stared at him, unable to look away, yet every second felt like a fresh wound. How could he just stand there, shaking and silent, as if you weren’t the one left to pick up the shattered pieces of your life when he walked away? Your chest tightened, the air suddenly too thick to breathe.
He looked so different, yet so heartbreakingly familiar. Those same eyes that used to meet yours with warmth now avoided your gaze like a coward. The same hands that once held yours trembled at his sides, as if they carried the weight of something unsaid.
You wanted to scream at him, to demand answers to the questions that had haunted you for years. Why did he leave? Why didn’t he say goodbye? The questions burned in your chest, but no words came. The silence between you was louder than any explanation he could give—louder than the ache of the years he left you to carry alone.
And yet, some small part of you hated yourself for hoping, for wanting him to say something that would make it all make sense. But as his lips parted and nothing came, his silence was louder than any excuse could ever be.
Cheers suddenly filled the room as the two of you looked away from each other. Looking at the scoreboard, you released a sigh of relief as O won, meaning the games would still proceed.
Following the guards orders to disperse, you walked away as fast as you could. You needed to run away for a while, away from everyone, away from him. You weaved through the sea of players, ignoring the chaotic mix of relief and despair filling the room. Every step felt heavier, your mind still reeling from the sight of him. Why here? Why now?
Your chest ached. The large room offered little solace, the murmur of restless voices and distant footsteps a constant reminder of where you were. You sought refuge in the thin, scratchy blanket of your assigned bed, pulling it over yourself as if it could shield you from the weight pressing down on your chest.
Laying in a fetal position, you tried to steady your breathing, to stop the trembling in your hands. But his face—his eyes—kept flashing in your mind, a painful reminder of everything you thought you’d buried.
Anger simmered just beneath the surface, threatening to boil over. You clenched your fists, an attempt to stop the tears from flowing. But no amount of control could erase the gnawing ache in your chest.
“[Name]...”
The voice froze you in place.
“Can we… talk?” His voice was quiet, almost pleading.
Under the covers, you exhaled sharply, forcing yourself to keep your tone steady. “What’s there to talk about, Dae-ho?”
His jaw tightened, and he took a cautious step closer to your bed. “I… I didn’t think I’d see you here. I didn’t think I’d see you again at all.”
“Neither did I,” you replied curtly. “And yet, here we are.”
He flinched at your words, guilt flashing in his eyes not that you could see it. “I know I owe you an explanation.”
You scoffed, shaking your head. “An explanation? After all these years? After you disappeared without a word? You think I need that now, here of all places?”
His lips parted as if to argue, but he stopped himself. Instead, he looked down, his hands gripping the fabric of his jumpsuit. “I wanted to explain. I really did. But I didn’t know how.”
“You didn’t know how?” you repeated, incredulous. “You didn’t know how to tell me you were leaving? That you were giving up on us? That you—”
Your voice cracked, and you stopped, swallowing the lump in your throat. You refused to let him hear you cry. Not here. Not now.
“I didn’t give up on you,” he said softly.
His words hung in the air, but they did nothing to soothe the ache inside you. You shook your head once more, your voice trembling. “You left me alone, Dae-ho. You walked away without a word, and you left me to deal with everything by myself. Don’t tell me you didn’t give up.”
Silence followed, thick and suffocating. You could feel his eyes on your figure under the covers, before hearing footsteps walk away. You didn’t expect much, knowing that all he does is run from his responsibilities. But why did it still hurt?
As you went to collect your dinner, you couldn’t help but overhear familiar laughter. Laughter that you used to love listening to. Silently gazing at Dae-ho’s figure, you watch in silence as he makes small talk with a group of men in the corner of the room. A small smile crept up your face, even after all those years he still has his charming laugh. You moved your gaze to the guard as they handed you your food, with a small bow you thanked them before going back to your bed.
Looking at him one more time, your eyes widened in surprise as a set of eyes clashed with yours. Thankfully, it wasn’t Dae-ho. It was 001. There was something in his stare that made you scared. Maybe Dae-ho told them about your history and now they were angry at you, either way, who were you to care? You broke eye contact first, setting your gaze elsewhere as you retreated back to your assigned bed. Little did you know Dae-ho was doing the same, looking at you with longing eyes every time you had your back turned from him.
The next day came quickly, the game even quicker. You convinced a group to let you join their team with your gonggi skills. They were reluctant at first but had no choice but to let you in as the timer was nearing its end. Your team went through the games with ease, everyone was a pro on the games— you included.
As the guard placed the table in front of you, you and your team squatted, the familiar weight of the stones in your hands grounding you. It reminded you of something, something far simpler, back when you were young.
“The slowest will have to buy the winner dinner, deal?” you said with a playful grin, your voice filled with mischievous confidence as you laid out the challenge.
Dae-ho’s eyes widened, shaking his head dramatically. “That’s unfair! You only say that because you’re a pro at gonggi!” he shot back, his voice half-laughing and half-complaining, clearly trying to defend himself.
Currently, the two of you, still in your high school uniforms, are sprawled on the floor of your room, surrounded by an amusing mess of half-done activities. The afternoon had been a carefree escape from schoolwork and responsibilities, as you had decided to skip school for the day. Your parents were away, so you had the house all to yourselves.
The floor was scattered with papers, a few textbooks left open, and snacks you’d absentmindedly snacked on while getting lost in your own little world. Dae-ho’s hair was a chaotic mess of clips, ties, and failed attempts at creating something resembling style.
Meanwhile, your face was painted with makeup. Your eyes were covered in uneven eyeshadow, and your lipstick had smudged onto your cheeks in a way that had you wondering if you'd even be able to wash it off later. It was ridiculous, but it was also perfect. There was no need for perfection when you were together, just moments of unfiltered fun. You didn’t mind looking silly—it was a shared experience, after all.
You leaned back on the floor, hands resting behind your head, watching him with an amused expression. He had always been competitive, and you knew he wouldn’t let this challenge slide without giving it his all. But you also knew he wouldn’t back down.
"You're just mad because I'm about to beat you,” you teased, raising an eyebrow and holding the gonggi stones in your hand. “I’ve got this in the bag."
Dae-ho let out an exaggerated sigh, pretending to be defeated, but his eyes betrayed him—the challenge was on. “Fine. The loser buys the winner dinner.” he said, as the fire in his eyes burned brightly.
You smiled, leaning closer and placing the stones carefully in front of both of you. “You’re on,” you replied, your voice light but determined.
The game, which was just supposed to be a simple way to pass the time, had suddenly become a full-blown competition, complete with stakes. Dae-ho didn’t like losing, and you knew that meant he would give everything he had to win, but you weren’t going to make it easy for him.
With that, the tension between you both shifted. You could feel the energy change as you both focused on the stones in front of you, your hands hovering over them, ready to begin the game. The silly banter was still there, but now it was mixed with a more serious undercurrent—a challenge that was both fun and a little bit intense.
Dae-ho glanced at you once more, his expression playful but competitive, and you could see the slight smirk forming on his lips. “Get ready to buy me that dinner,” he said with mock confidence, ready to show you he was the better player.
You laughed, shaking your head. “We’ll see about that, Dae-ho.”
And with that, the game began, the stones flying through the air as you both competed to see who could win the challenge, the promise of dinner hanging in the balance.
After breezing through the first rounds, you placed all the stones on top of your hand, heart racing. You nervously exhaled, forcing yourself to focus.
“I’m honestly jealous of your gonggi skills,” you admitted, leaning back in your chair as you sat beside Dae-ho at your favorite hotpot place, a small smile playing on your lips as you stirred your bowl of soup.
Dae-ho, who had just taken a sip from his drink, blinked at you in mock surprise. “You? Jealous of me? You’re the one who won!” he said with a playful glare, his tone lighthearted.
You laughed softly, shaking your head at him. “Not that part, silly! I always notice that you always catch all five stones with ease. Even if I’m fast, I still mess up once in a while.” You looked down at your half-eaten bowl, the warmth from the hotpot filling your chest, but it wasn’t just from the food—it was the company that made everything feel so right.
Dae-ho’s expression softened as he put down his chopsticks, giving you his full attention. He nodded thoughtfully, then smiled, and for a moment, you felt as if the world outside didn’t exist, just the two of you, sharing this simple, quiet moment together.
“Well, my lovely [nickname],” he said, his voice taking on that playful, teasing tone you knew so well. “I can always tell you a trick,” he continued, raising an eyebrow mischievously. “But it’ll cost you. My secrets aren’t free, you know.”
Your curiosity piqued, you tilted your head, giving him a playful. “Go on, then.”
Dae-ho’s smile widened as he turned his cheek toward you, tilting his head just enough to make it clear what he wanted. You giggled, rolling your eyes but giving in, leaning forward to place a soft kiss on his left cheek.
He grinned, the sparkle in his eyes making your heart skip a beat, and without missing a beat, he pointed to the other side, silently asking for more. You couldn’t help but smile, kissing his right cheek just as lightly.
Then, Dae-ho tilted his head again, offering his forehead with that trademark mischievous smile. “And this one?” he asked, his eyes glinting with excitement.
You didn’t even hesitate, leaning in to plant a soft kiss on his forehead, your heart fluttering in the simple affection. It felt like the most natural thing in the world, and the more you kissed him, the more the world around you faded away.
He stretched his hand out next, offering the back of his left hand with an expectant grin. You chuckled at how silly this game was becoming, but you still kissed it gently, your heart swelling with warmth. His grin only grew wider, and before you knew it, he was extending his right hand, offering it up for another kiss.
You kissed it too, your heart fluttering again at how effortlessly he could make everything feel so special. Each little moment, each silly gesture, you loved it all.
Finally, with that signature grin of his, Dae-ho turned fully toward you, his eyes sparkling with playfulness. “And this one?” he asked, tilting his face toward yours, the question hanging in the air like an invitation.
Without even thinking, you closed the space between you and kissed his lips, a soft, lingering kiss that felt full of promise and affection. The moment was so pure, so simple, that it left you breathless in the best way. Nothing mattered but the two of you, sharing this quiet, tender connection.
Dae-ho smiled against your lips, his arms subtly drawing you closer as he pulled back just slightly, a lovestruck expression on his face. “You’re the best, [nickname].” he whispered, his breath warm against your ear as he nuzzled you gently. His voice was soft and full of affection, and you couldn’t help but smile back, your heart swelling with warmth.
You leaned in, your voice teasing. “So? What’s the trick?”
Dae-ho let out a dramatic sigh, pretending to be exasperated but still smiling. “Can’t I have a lovely moment with you?” he asked, his tone light and affectionate.
“Dae-ho.” you said with a small laugh, nudging him playfully.
“Fine, fine! You’re a party pooper!” he joked, giving you a nudge back before getting serious. He shifted slightly, sitting up straighter and showing you a more focused expression. “Alright, listen carefully.” He mimicked the motions as he spoke. “What I do is first calm myself down. Inhale... and exhale.” He demonstrated the breathing technique, his chest rising and falling slowly.
He paused before looking at you expectantly. Rolling your eyes, you copied his movement. Inhale and exhale.
Satisfied, he continued. “Once you find your peace, you put all your might in your palm so the stones don’t fall. Strong foundation.”
You nodded, watching him carefully. “Got it,” you said, your gaze fixed on his hands as he continued with his instructions.
He smiled, clearly pleased by your attention. “Then you throw your hand upwards—just right. Not too low, not too high,” he said, raising one hand and showing you the perfect motion. “Count one...” He paused dramatically, his eyes never leaving yours.
“Count one,” you repeated, laughing softly at how serious he was being, yet how cute he looked while teaching you.
“Then catch!”
You threw your hand up. It felt natural. It felt right. The stones landed, and you caught them all in one smooth motion.
“Hey! I caught it on the first try!” You grinned, excitement rushing through you. You looked up, expecting to see Dae-ho’s proud smile, the one that always made your heart race.
But instead, you met the cold, expressionless face of a guard. Reality hit like a punch to the gut. This wasn’t Dae-ho. This wasn’t your favorite hotpot place.
Your heart twisted, the warmth you replaced by the emptiness of this place. You tried to smile, but it felt hollow. The distant cheers of your teammates did nothing to drown out the silence in your mind.
You couldn’t shake the memory, his teasing smile, his quiet words, the way his lips brushed against yours. Those were moments you could never go back to. As you moved on to the next station, the sting of that memory lingered, sharp and painful. The sweetness was gone. It was just you, alone in this game, with no place for memories of simpler times.
Everything was a blur after that, your mind occupied by what happened during the second game. Gonggi was something you always bonded over, and that game brought unwanted memories back. It got to a point wherein the way you’d always made decisions, small or big, was by playing gonggi. Where to eat? Play gonggi. Who’s paying the bill? Gonggi.
But now, as you lay at your bed, staring at the ceiling, it wasn’t the same. Your mind wandered back to that moment, remembering his smile, the way his eyes would soften when he looked at you. That warmth, that sense of belonging, was gone. The past felt distant, like a dream you couldn’t hold onto anymore.
You closed your eyes, trying to push the memory away. Suddenly, the light went out.
The light went out? That wasn’t right.
You opened one eye and saw Dae-ho standing above you, looking down at you with that nervous, familiar expression.
“Congrats, [Name]. I knew you could do it.” he said softly.
You looked up at him, emotions swirling in your chest. “Congrats also, Dae-ho.” you replied quietly.
You stared at him as the weight of everything hung heavy in the air between you. You had so many emotions running through your veins—hurt, betrayal, confusion, anger—and yet, here he was, standing in front of you, trying to explain himself, trying to make sense of everything.
“[Name]... Please, talk to me.” he repeated, his voice soft but desperate.
You didn’t move at first. The space between you, filled with so many unspoken words. Finally, you stood up, leading him to a quiet corner between the bed frames, away from the chaos. The moment felt strangely intimate, but so far removed from anything you could have ever imagined.
Dae-ho was the first to break the silence, his voice shaking with the weight of his confession. “I didn’t want to leave, [Name]. I didn’t... but I had no choice.” He paused, his face twisted with guilt as he rubbed his hands together nervously.
“My father...” His voice cracked as he spoke, his words thick with regret. “He was... always trying to control me. Pushing me into things I didn’t want. He never let me make my own decisions. But when it came to you... he saw how much I cared. He saw how soft I was because of you, and he hated it. He thought I wasn’t strong enough to survive—how I wasn't becoming a real man, so he sent me away. He made me join the Marines. He didn’t even let me choose. I tried to fight him. I tried to say no, but he didn’t care.”
You felt your heart break all over again. “But... Why didn’t you fight harder for us? Why didn’t you try harder to stay? To... tell me?” The words were out before you could stop them, and they stung more than you’d expected.
“I... I couldn’t,” he whispered. “He had me. I thought if I left, if I did what he said, it would all be over. That he’d leave me alone. But when I came back, you were gone. I couldn’t find you. I looked for you everywhere, [Name], but you and your family were gone. And I thought... I thought I lost you forever. And I couldn’t fix it.”
You bit your lip to stop yourself from crying. “But you didn’t even try to find me, Dae-ho. You just... disappeared. I waited for you. I thought I was worth waiting for, but you made me feel the opposite. You just left, and I had to pick up the pieces of my life without you.”
“Please don’t say that. You are worth fighting for [Name].”
His eyes filled with sorrow, and he reached out for you, but you pulled back slightly, not ready for his touch just yet. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I never wanted to hurt you. I thought I could make it right when I came back, but... it wasn’t the same. And now I’m afraid I’ve lost you for good.”
Your chest tightened, and you fought to keep your emotions in check. “You didn’t lose me, Dae-ho. If anything, I still think about you. Every street I walk, every place I visit. I always tried to find any sign of you. You just… you never gave me a chance to be part of your life anymore. I can’t just go back to how things were. I can’t pretend everything’s okay, because it’s not.”
“I understand,” Dae-ho said quietly, his voice laced with sincerity. “I know you’ve been through so much. And I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you before, but I’m here now. Let me make it right. Please…”
He paused, swallowing hard before speaking again, as if the weight of his words was too heavy to bear. “If you just vote to go home, we can leave all this behind. We don’t have to keep playing. We can go back to the way things were. We can be free. We can live together.”
His words hit you like a punch to the stomach, leaving you breathless. You couldn’t wrap your mind around what he was asking. He wanted you to vote to go home? That’s all it took? To end this nightmare?
You took a step back, your heart hammering in your chest. The sudden flood of emotions was overwhelming—confusion, anger, hurt, all rolled into one. “Is that what you think this is about, Dae-ho? You think you can just tell me to vote to go home and everything will magically go back to normal? That we’ll just go back to living in some fairy tale together?”
His face faltered with guilt, but you couldn’t stop yourself. The words were already tumbling out, and the anger was building with each second. “You have no idea what it’s like for me out there. I don’t have anything left. No family. No safety. No way out. If I leave without the money, I’ll be dead before I even make it out of the game. The people who own me—they’ll come for me. They’ll end me.”
You couldn’t stop the rise of panic and fury in your voice. “You think voting to go home is going to fix everything? Do you think that’ll save me from what’s out there? You think that’s going to protect me?”
You were shaking now, your words louder, sharper with each passing second. “I’m not here by choice. I didn’t sign up for this game to have some fun. I’m here because I have no other option. I need the money. I have to win. I don’t have the luxury of walking away. If I don’t make it, I’m dead. They’ll take everything I have left. They’ll take my life. And you want me to just throw that away?”
His face went pale, his hands trembling as he reached out, but you stepped back, your emotions running too high. You were drowning in your own fear, your own anger, and he was standing there, asking for something you couldn’t give. Not now. Not when your very existence was on the line.
“I’m not going to die for you to feel like you’ve done something good,” you spat, your voice cold and full of finality. “I’ll keep playing. I’ll keep fighting. I’ll keep voting O if that’s what it takes to stay alive. Because I don’t have the luxury to just quit. I don’t have the luxury to go home. If I die here, then I die here. But at least I had a chance. A chance to keep living.”
You could see the regret flooding his face now, the guilt in his eyes clear as day. But it didn’t matter. You had already crossed the line, said everything you needed to say. The wound had already been made, and nothing would heal it now.
“They took everything from me,” you whispered, voice cracking with the weight of the confession. “I don’t have anything left. This game, this nightmare is all I have. If I leave without any money, without anything... they’ll take me. They’ll take my life.”
His expression was full of pain now. The words hit him hard, and you saw the guilt swirling inside him. He opened his mouth, wanting to say something, but no words came. You saw the regret in his eyes, the apology he couldn’t voice—but it was too little, too late.
“I’m sorry,” he muttered finally, his voice thick with regret. “I never meant to hurt you. I just… I didn’t know. I didn’t know it was this bad. I didn’t know you were fighting for your life.”
You shook your head slowly, stepping back from him. “You didn’t know? You never bothered to ask. You didn’t care enough to understand what I was going through. You just assumed everything would be fine, that we could go back to normal. But you didn’t ask, Dae-ho. You didn’t care.”
His face crumpled with the realization of what you were saying, and the weight of your words hit him like a ton of bricks. But you didn’t care. Not now. Not when you were holding on to the one thing that mattered to you right now—your will to survive.
“I’m sorry, Dae-ho,” you whispered, the words barely escaping your lips, but full of emotion. “But I care about surviving. I care about living. And if I have to vote O, if I have to keep playing to do that, then that’s what I’ll do.”
For a long moment, you stood there, facing each other in the silence, your hearts both full of unsaid things. But the anger slowly began to fade, replaced by a deep sadness, a sorrow that neither of you could fix.
He stepped closer to you, his voice quiet. “I’m sorry... I never wanted this for you. But I’ll always be here, [Name], even if you hate me for it.”
You looked at him one last time, the weight of everything you had said sinking in. And for the first time in a long time, you let the tears fall—not from anger, but from the overwhelming fear of it all. The fear of what your life had become, of how far you’d fallen, of the choices you had to make that never felt right.
Dae-ho stared at you as you quietly wept, his heart breaking at the sight of your pain. Without a second thought, he reached out, pulling you into his arms. He wrapped you in the comfort of his embrace, guiding your head to rest against his chest, your tears soaking into the fabric of his shirt.
He didn’t speak at first, just held you tightly, as if trying to shield you from the world, from everything that had happened, and everything you feared. His hand gently rubbed your back in slow, soothing circles, offering what comfort he could in that moment.
“I’m sorry… I know I can’t take away all the pain,” he whispered, his voice rough with emotion. “But I’m here, [Name]. I won’t leave you. You don’t have to go through this alone anymore. Please... just let me be here for you.”
You clung to him, not knowing if you wanted him to fix everything, but just needing the solace, the warmth that came with knowing he was still here. Still trying. You didn’t know what the future held, or if you could ever truly forgive him for the past, but in that moment, you allowed yourself to feel something you hadn’t in so long—comfort, even if it was fleeting.
He tightened his hold on you, letting you cry, never pushing you away. “I’ll always be here. I promise.”
You didn’t know how long it had been, but eventually, the tears started to slow. The tightness in your chest eased just a little, and you found yourself breathing a bit easier. Dae-ho, still holding you gently, never let go. He simply let you rest against him, giving you space to process everything, even if that meant staying silent for the moment.
You looked at him, your chest heavy with everything you’d just let out. “I’m sorry too,” you murmured, voice low and shaky. “I... I didn’t mean to lash out like that. I was just... I don’t know. I was scared. I couldn’t—couldn’t bear the thought of losing everything. But I shouldn’t have said those things.”
Dae-ho shook his head softly, his fingers brushing your cheek again. “No... I deserved it. I made you carry too much, and I never gave you the chance to say how you really felt. I was so focused on my own guilt, I didn’t see how much I was hurting you.”
The weight of the words sank in, and you felt a tear slip down your cheek, though this one wasn’t filled with anger—it was filled with a sadness you hadn’t let yourself fully feel until now. “We both messed up,” you whispered, the ache in your heart growing.
Dae-ho’s gaze softened, his hand gently squeezing yours. “But I’ll try to make it right. I don’t know if I can, but I’ll keep trying, [Name]. I’ll stay by your side, no matter what.”
You took a shaky breath, finding comfort in the sincerity of his words. “I don’t know where we go from here, but... I can’t pretend like it’s all fine. I need time.”
He nodded, his eyes never leaving yours. “I’ll give you all the time you need. I’m not going anywhere. I’m just... sorry. For everything.”
The air between you was thick with unspoken apologies, regrets, and the fragile hope that maybe, just maybe, you could both find a way to heal from this. You both had a long road ahead, a game to survive. But for now, the silence was no longer heavy with tension. Instead, it was filled with a quiet understanding, one that neither of you had expected to find, but one that was slowly, carefully beginning to piece things together.
"This time, the vote will begin with Player 001. Player 001, please cast your vote."
The moment the announcement was made, you felt a cold shiver run down your spine. Voting had begun. This time, you were going first—before Dae-ho. He stood beside you, his presence steady and calming, but there was an undeniable tension in the air. His hand brushed your back, the soothing gesture almost feeling out of place in this chaotic, life-or-death situation.
“Choose what you need,” Dae-ho whispered, his voice soft but full of sincerity. “Don’t worry about me. I won’t be mad.”
His words settled over you like a gentle blanket, but they couldn’t remove the weight of the decision you had to make. To survive, to keep moving forward, you knew you had to vote for O. You had to keep playing if you wanted a chance at surviving, but even as you stood in front of the voting machine, you felt a sickening sense of dread.
Was it really worth it? Pushing yourself, forcing the belief that survival was your only option, knowing the outside world would swallow you whole. What was the point of living if the only person who ever made you feel truly alive has always been Dae-ho? The thought echoed in your mind, and the walls of the room suddenly felt like they were closing in around you. Dae-ho had become your anchor in this madness—your reason for pushing through.
But now, you had to choose. You needed to choose for your own survival.
Your finger hovered over the button for O, but then you thought about everything you’d been through, everything you’d sacrificed already. At that moment, it was no longer just about survival. It was about the life you had left to live. You didn’t want to keep going without him.
X.
You slammed your hand down on the button, your choice made in an instant. The harsh reality of it stung as you tore off the patch you had placed on your jacket earlier, replacing it with a new one. As you made your way to the X side of the room, your heart felt heavy, but there was a strange sense of finality to it. You have made your decision.
You couldn’t help but look over at Dae-ho. The surprise on his face was so pure, so raw. His eyes were wide, his mouth slightly agape, like a fish caught out of water, and the shock in his gaze hit you harder than you expected.
Despite the tension and the gravity of the moment, you found yourself quietly laughing at him, unable to hold it in. The absurdity of it all—of choosing to walk away from everything that had kept you going—made you want to laugh and cry at the same time. God, you felt like a fool. After your dramatic show earlier, how you had confidently claimed that you would continue voting O, ready to survive, ready to keep playing. Yet here you were, choosing X, choosing to stop. Choosing him.
Dae-ho just stood there for a moment, still processing, before going up the platform to vote. His footsteps were slow, deliberate, as if he were trying to piece together what had just happened. You couldn’t blame him. The moment was so surreal, so at odds with everything you’d said before.
You watched him, heart hammering in your chest as he stood at the voting machine. His back was turned to you, but you could almost feel the confusion radiating off him. His hesitation was palpable, and you wondered if he understood. If he saw why you made the decision you did.
The sound of his vote pressing echoed in the silence, a soft click that seemed too loud for the room. He immediately walked to where you stood, his expression unreadable.
“I don’t get it,” he muttered. “Why... why did you choose X?”
The answer was too simple, too complicated, and maybe too painful to say out loud. Instead, you gave him a small smile, one that held so many unsaid things. “Dae-ho, I’ll always choose you.”
In the end, your vote didn’t matter. Since O won by a landslide, the next game was inevitable. But for the first time in days, or maybe even years, you found yourself smiling—a real, genuine smile—as you were introduced to Dae-ho’s little group. You exchanged pleasantries, introduced yourselves, and felt something warm stir inside you.
The following day came quickly, and with it, the next game. One moment, you were lying in bed, your mind running wild with the uncertainty of what was to come. Next, you were on a spinning platform, waiting for the music to stop. Your eyes immediately sought out Dae-ho, and when you met his gaze, he reached for your hand, gripping it tightly, as if he couldn’t bear to let go.
“Don’t worry,” he said softly, a promise in his words. “I won’t let go.”
You chuckled, shaking your head. “I know.”
The rounds passed, too smoothly, almost disturbingly so. You all survived the first four rounds with ease.
But everything was about to change.
7.
“Five women, and two men. Go!” Gi-hun’s commanding voice cut through the noise, demanding attention. Without hesitation, 007 shot his hand into the air. “I’ll go with my mother!” he announced, stepping forward. Gi-hun nodded, relieved to have a volunteer. He scanned the group again, waiting for the next person to step up.
Dae-ho raised his hand, his voice strong as he called out, “We’ll go!” He pulled you closer to him, offering a small smile that was laced with worry. His eyes betrayed his calm demeanor, revealing the weight of what was happening. The air around you both felt heavy with the uncertainty of the situation. Still, you clung to each other, walking together toward the door.
Your group of seven—007, 149, 120, 095, Jun-hee, you, and Dae-ho—ran toward the nearest empty room. The sound of your hurried footsteps echoed in the tense silence. But just as you were about to step inside, something caught your eye and made your heart drop.
Player 095, frail and struggling, was being shoved aside by a group of players. Seeing her so helpless, you couldn’t just stand by. Without thinking, you yanked your hand from Dae-ho’s grasp and rushed to her side.
Dae-ho’s heart skipped a beat the moment he felt the loss of your hand. Panic surged through him. Where did you go? He scanned the chaos around him, his eyes frantic as he searched for you in the crowded room. His heart tightened when he saw you helped 095 into the room, making sure she was safe. He could see the determination in your eyes as you ensured her well-being, but once it was your turn to come into the room, to rejoin him, disaster struck.
A group of four players, each desperately fighting for their own survival, barreled into you.
The impact was brutal. Your body was slammed to the ground with overwhelming force. Everything around you seemed to blur and slow down as you hit the floor, your breath knocked from your chest in a violent rush. A sharp wave of pain shot through your body—your limbs aching, your head spinning—but strangely, you couldn't feel it all at once. The shock of the fall seemed to disconnect you from your body, like you were floating in a painful haze.
In that split second, time seemed to stretch out. You felt a sudden sense of numbness as your body tried to process the damage, and your heart raced as you struggled to breathe. Your vision blurred, and for a moment, you feared that you wouldn’t be able to get up again. But then, the rush of adrenaline kicked in.
Determination surged through you like a lightning bolt. You couldn't afford to stay down. You had to survive.
You pushed yourself off the ground, ignoring the throbbing pain in your limbs, and scrambled to your feet. Gritting your teeth, you ran with every ounce of strength you had left, your focus fixed on the door. You had to get inside—it was the only chance left. The room was just a few feet away now, but each step felt like an eternity as you sprinted, your legs shaking with exertion and fear. Every part of you screamed for rest, but you couldn't stop. Not yet.
"[Name]! Let’s play Mingle!" Dae-ho’s voice rang out with excitement, pulling you out of your thoughts. You raised an eyebrow, already knowing his playful nature.
“With just the two of us?” you asked, teasing him. A grin tugged at your lips despite yourself, knowing that whatever he had planned would likely be a mix of fun and absurdity.
“Well...” Dae-ho scratched the back of his neck, pretending to think deeply, but the mischievous glint in his eyes gave him away. He was already scheming.
It was your third anniversary together, a day you both decided to celebrate in your usual style: by skipping class and spending it alone in your room. Both of you were still wearing your high school uniforms—uniforms that no longer felt like the serious attire they were supposed to be. The two of you had spent countless afternoons like this, laughing and simply enjoying each other's company, without a care in the world.
“I’ve got it!” Dae-ho suddenly exclaimed, his eyes lighting up as he dashed to your bed. He scooped up a handful of stuffed toys with exaggerated enthusiasm. “Let’s use our children!” he declared, holding them up like he had just discovered the most brilliant idea.
You stared at him, your laughter bubbling up instantly. "Our children? Really, tiger?" you chuckled, wiping away the tears that had already begun to form from laughing too hard.
"Hey, don’t laugh! This is serious!" he protested, feigning offense, but you could see the twinkle in his eyes that told you he was only pretending to be upset. He adjusted the toys in his arms, a determined look on his face.
“Alright, fine,” you replied, still laughing but wiping your eyes. “Let’s play.” You were already game—who could resist when Dae-ho was this excited?
Dae-ho carefully arranged the toys in front of you both, giving each one a position with a level of care that made it clear he was taking this game very seriously. “Okay. For this round… Three!” he announced dramatically, holding his hands out in front of him like he was preparing to start a battle.
You didn’t even wait for him to finish before snatching up two of the nearest toys. His jaw dropped in mock betrayal, and he huffed loudly, feigning offense. "Not fair! You should partner with me. Always!" he said, acting like you had broken some sacred rule.
You stuck your tongue out at him, teasing. “Stop being a sore loser! I’m just playing by your rules.”
"Fine," he grumbled. He pouted dramatically, a little over-the-top for someone so competitive. He then scurried around the room, gathering two more toys to prepare for the next round.
The game continued in the same playful vein, with the toys being eliminated one by one. The room filled with the sound of laughter, teasing, and mock outrage as each round got more dramatic. The toys “lost” in ways that made no sense, their plush bodies being thrown to the side in exaggerated defeat.
"For this round,” Dae-ho said, his voice suddenly turning serious. “Two!” He gave you a look, as if to challenge you to keep up with him.
You smirked, ready to grab him this time. But before you could react, he swooped down and grabbed the last remaining toy, holding it close to his chest with a triumphant grin. “Hey!” you cried out in mock outrage, throwing your hands up.
"Sore loser!" he teased, clearly pleased with his victory.
You crossed your arms, pretending to sulk. “Whatever.” you muttered, rolling your eyes for effect.
Dae-ho chuckled, the sound warm and genuine. He set the toy down, then knelt in front of you. “Wait, wait, don’t be mad!” he said, holding the toy up to his face like a little puppet. He moved its tiny arms in a dramatic fashion, as if it was trying to “walk” toward you.
"Eomma! Please don’t be angry at Appa! Pleaseee!” he said in a high-pitched, exaggerated voice that made you burst out laughing.
Your faux anger crumbled immediately, and you couldn’t help but giggle at his antics. He was ridiculous—and that was one of the many reasons you loved him.
Still holding the toy, Dae-ho slowly lowered it from his face, a more tender look in his eyes. You hadn’t noticed at first, but there was a delicate necklace hanging from the toy’s tiny paw. Your breath hitched as he gently removed the necklace and held it out to you.
"Here," he said softly, his voice unexpectedly gentle. You could feel the warmth in his words as he looked at you with such sincerity. Without warning, he leaned forward and clasped the necklace around your neck. The touch of his fingers against your skin sent a shiver through you. "Happy anniversary, [Name]."
For a moment, your heart skipped a beat as the rush of emotion hit you unexpectedly. His gesture felt like everything—a simple, yet deeply meaningful way of showing how much he cared. You blinked back the sudden welling of emotion in your chest.
Before you could stop yourself, you threw your arms around him, pressing a kiss to his lips in gratitude. You then buried your face in his shoulder, hiding the emotions that threatened to spill over.
“Thank you.” you murmured, your voice muffled against his skin.
Dae-ho chuckled softly, his arms wrapping around you in a tight, comforting hug. “Anything for you.”
In that moment, everything else faded away. There was just the two of you, wrapped in each other's warmth, sharing a quiet, simple happiness that felt bigger than any words could express. Time seemed to slow down, and you didn’t want to think about anything else.
As you pulled back, your laughter bubbled up again, light and carefree. You couldn’t resist teasing him once more. “You’re still a sore loser, though.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Dae-ho replied, rolling his eyes but still grinning. “But you love me anyway.”
You smiled, your gaze softening as you looked at him with affection. “I do. Now help me with this necklace!”
Your hand stretched toward the door, the cold metal just within reach.
Then everything went silent.
#wqnsho.writes#squid game#squid game x reader#squid game x you#squid game fanfic#kang dae ho x reader#dae ho x reader#player 388 x reader#oneshot
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