#and I'm pretty sure the fear I felt in that moment was equivalent to the fear you'd feel
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ithinkimauggie · 6 months ago
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SISCO JUST POUNCED ON THAT HOMEWRECKER LIKE A BIG CAT. BRO WAS OUT HERE WITH THAT MAJESTIC LEAP. BRO TOOK HER DOWN WITH THE GRACE OF A LION. BRO REALLY JUST
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THE AIR THIS BOY GOT LIKE HOW!??!?!?!?!
Me religious trauma keeps forcing me to pause "In the Hands of the Prophets" every ten minutes because the sanctimonious holier-than-thou attitude it's all too familiar and far too much to stomache, but i also had to pause it once because I couldn't stop laughing from O'brien getting so mad about being denied a popsickle that he immidiately resorted to physical violence without asking any other questions. Honestly iconic behavior, shoulda done that at bible camp.
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chipmunkfanno1love · 3 months ago
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Kismet/*NSYNC Trolls Headcanons
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While I'm not sure if *NSYNC will ever reappear in the Trolls franchise as their Trolls equivalents, it's certainly not stopping me from thinking up theories of how the band formed and sharing headcanons I have about the characters themselves. I admit I've loosely based my headcanons about the characters based on what I've learnt about the actors themselves, but overall, I've tried to think the characters as original and not simply rip-offs of their actors.
How the band started:
Hype and Branch started as childhood friends, forming their friendship not long after Branch's brothers left the Troll Tree. I imagine they met in preschool/pre-k and/or Grandma Rosiepuff used to babysit for Hype (I give credit to glitterysparklystuffz from Instagram for that idea) and the two youngsters formed a friendship as result.
Sadly, their friendship became strained after Branch lost his grandma and turned grey. Branch stopped singing and became more interested in preparing for a potential Bergen attack, traumatised by the loss of his beloved grandmother and terrified at the thought of the Bergens finding them again. He spent more time preparing for a potential Bergen attack and spent less time with Hype. Fearing that Hype was only friends with him due to his singing abilities and that he would eventually leave him like his brothers did Branch pushed Hype away, leaving himself friendless and alone...until a certain pink princess began making attempts to win him over and to help him find happiness again. Eventually, we know from the True Colours moment of Trolls that it worked.
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Eventually after regaining his colours and his confidence to sing again, Branch made amends with Hype, apologising for pushing him away. Hype also apologised for not being there for his friend during his time of need. Despite some rough moments between them, Branch and Hype managed to rekindle their friendship.
Hype introduced Branch to his new adult friends: Ablaze, Boom and Trickee. They immediately bonded over their love of performing and the band Brozone (which Hype knew Branch was formerly apart of). Eventually, the group formed their own band, *Kismet and even made a record. They were not quite as popular as Brozone but they still have a number of committed fans.
Regardless of their success, Branch insisted that they keep his name and face anonymous from the group as he wasn't ready to go public or reveal his boy band past to Poppy and the other trolls. Hype and the rest of the group respected Branch's wishes and agreed to respect his privacy.
Their performance in Trolls Band Together was their first live performance.
Character Profiles:
Hype:
He and Branch are the groups tenors. They're also the youngest members of the group.
He's known for his energy and hyper dance moves. This is the reason he was named Hype. He does the bands choreography.
Though he's considered charming and is very popular with his love-struck fans, Hype is actually very shy when it comes to love and dating. Though he hopes to find love someday, for now he's quite happily single.
He loves critters and has a pet much like the Troll version of a dog.
After his childhood friend, Branch, his favourite member of Brozone is Clay as he admires his dance moves, especially the famous Rusty Robot dance move, later the Well-Oiled robot. He also loves a good joke like Clay secretly still does.
He's pretty easy-going and loyal to his friends. Though he's also pretty sensitive and doesn't like conflict.
When Branch made amends with him, he didn't hesitate to forgive him for pushing him away. He secretly always missed his childhood friend during their years of estrangement, but felt it wasn't wise to invade his personal space as he feared he'd be rejected again.
Ablaze:
Ablaze is the baritone singer of *Kismet.
Ablaze is the loudest and most exuberant member of the group.
He's Boom's best friend and business partner in their fireworks business: Ablaze and Boom's Fantastic Fireworks. He runs the business and customer service side of the operation. Though he has the energy and charisma of a car salesman, he's always as honest as he is charming with customers. He won't give them anything but the best.
An incredibly loyal and supportive friend to Boom, whom he loves like a brother.
Though considered very handsome and charming to a lot of lady trolls, his heart belongs to his long-term girlfriend turned wife. They had an on-off relationship in their teenage years but are now fully committed to each other and are hoping to start a family.
His favourite member of Brozone is Spruce, now Bruce. When he was younger it was because of his status as the Heartthrob, but now in present day he respects him because he's a wonderful father and husband to Brandy. He hopes to get parenting tips from him.
He'll do anything to make others smile, and sometimes laugh.
Boom:
Boom is the bass-baritone singer of *Kismet.
Boom has a close brotherly friendship with Ablaze. Though quieter and more reserved than his best friend, both have a shared love of performing and bringing joy to others.
He's the creative and brainy pyrotechnic for his and Ablaze's fireworks business. He handles fireworks with the care and technical expertise of a mechanic or rocket scientist, yet also has a lot of flair for colour and shape when setting them up.
He's got a good eye for fashion and style. He feels it's the best way to express yourself.
Like Hype, he's a got a great love and respect for critters. I imagine he's a vegetarian or vegan.
In his spare time, he loves starwatching and studying their constellations.
He's rather slow at picking up on jokes and puns (as shown at the end of Trolls Band Together).
Boom's favourite member of Brozone is Floyd because he's so sweet, sensitive yet also so genuine and real. He loves Floyd's new emo hairstyle especially with frosted parts added to his magenta hair (it reminds him a bit of strawberries and cream soft serve ice-cream). Though he also feels bad for the torture Floyd went through that resulted in his hair bleaching and hopes he's doing okay.
Trickee:
Trickee is *Kismet's countenor singer.
Trickee's favourite member of Brozone is John Dory, both because they're the oldest member of their respective singing group and also because they're both considered the more underrated members as well. John Dory's respective googles inspired his own style choice of googles, but he did want to do his own personal spin on them.
He's great with children and often volunteers at the local children's section of the Trolls hospital. He'll often perform for them and does tricks for them like balloon animals. Anything to make them smile.
He has a great flair for hairstyles and fashion. He has a few younger sisters who love him doing their hair and giving them fashion tips.
He works as a hairstylist at Maddy's Hair Salon.
Both he and Boom were responsible for the groups personal style choices. They often worked one-on-one with Satin and Chenielle in making the groups outfits.
I'd love to hear your own *Kismet theories and headcanons. I encourage us all to be respectful to each other's opinions.
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ele-sme · 1 year ago
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Nap
Spider sully.
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Lo'ak was having the worst time of his life, well maybe not the most worst since he just eated the equivalent of chocolate for na'vi, but seriously that wasn't a great time. But let's summary a little what was happening; Lo'ak was the third and youngest child of Toruk Maktao and his mate(if we don't count his new baby sister, who he did not like at all), he had two older siblings who he quarrel a lot with and then he had a boy best friend, his name was Spider and he was two whole years older then Lo'ak, so he was nine. Anyway the problem for Lo'ak was one, he losted his best friend.
"Here you go Lo'ak, some rz'yt fruit" Spider said minutes before giving the child the equivalent of chocolate.
"Thank you bro" Lo'ak responded starting eating it, he then saw some seeds of the great tree and he started to follow them, when they ended their path, Lo'ak finded himself outside of his home, he could hear the voices of his family there.
"That pretty crazy isn't it bro?" Lo'ak asked looking back, but he finded no one.
Where did he go?
Did Lo'ak abandoned him in the forest alone?!
Before he could even notice he started to cry, and his sobs were hear by his family, the house became quite, then his mother camed on her full speed to see what was the motivation of the crying.
"What happened, Ma Lo'ak what happened?" She asked getting the child in her arms, Jake came some moments later with the same speed, looking on his son skin for any injury.
There weren't any.
"Sa'nu, i was with Spider in the forest and i was eating some rz'yt fruit, then I saw a seed and i followed it and it landed here, but when i watched behind me Spider wasn't there." Lo'ak whined in his mother arms, she was stroking his back for comfort.
"Lo'ak, I'm sure he just got home" Jake tried to comfort the child with words but it was unless.
"Ma Jake can you just go to the lab and ask for the child?" Neytiri asked still stroking the back of their son.
"But it's almost night" he tried to argue but she looked at him with a look he would probably remember until the day he died, awkwardly he began to take the path that leaded to hell gates.
Neytiri was trying to comfort all her children, the older ones that were now scared, and the little ones that were...well scared as well but their crying was louder.
After almost a hour, Jake returned on his full speed, breaking some things with his tail meanwhile coming in.
"Ma Lo'ak, Ma Lo'ak, is very important that you remember where you two where in that moment" he said at a lound tone to his son, who finally was calmed. Obviously Jake ruined that.
"I don't remember" he sobbed to his father, who was breathing heavily at that point.
"Ma Jake, what are you trying to say" Neytiri asked confused to her mate.
"He is not there, and he is not for at least a good kilometer from all the area, he is too away from the lab and the night is coming" He explained and Neytiri felt her heart sink, guilt formed, and the fear of what would happened to the child. A knot of prepared grief formed in her throat.
"I call my mother, you call an emergency meeting" she said briefly before lefting with baby Tuk in her arms.
"Sa'nu" she shouted outside of her mother dwelling.
"What what" Mo'at asked coming to her daughter.
Neytiri explained briefly what happened and Mo'at eyes widened in horror, of what whould happened to the child.
quickly the two mothers and the baby reached the place of the emergency meeting, who was already full of warriors, singers and people from the infirmary, all important members of the clan.
"Jakesuli can you please explain why you called a emergency meeting in the middle of the night?" A young warrior asked.
"Spider, the human child who is always with my children, is missing in the forest" he explained and lound gaspings were heard, all the village knew Spider, he was such a sweet kid.
"You are na'vi in the heart" a lot of elder womens said it sweetly to the child everyday.
"Thank you for helping me out" a lot of strong warriors said after the child helped them, with something like cleaning their knife and equipment.
"You are such a sweetheart, go play with my children and thank you" people could hear mothers say everyday after Spider helped them with their chores or with cooking.
"You are so cool, i want to be like you when i will be nine" children said.
"Hey, leave Spider alone" teens protected him, because he was just worth it.
Everybody loved him, but even with all the love he had, someone still didn't see beyond his skin.
"And?" A old warrior asked, eyes of disbelief watching him in all his pride, he often boasted how many Humans and Avatars he killed during the great war.
"And? He is a child" Jake tried to say
"He is not a child, he is a demon, if the great mother wants him dead then who are we for letting him survive?" He asked to the people there, opening his arms in a sign of right, like he was right.
He felt right.
Many doubts nods were spread by the people.
Neytiri saw red, how dare he say something like that of a child. She putted Tuk in her mother arms, and came in front of that old warrior.
She hissed at him with her full strength, and it seemed that his pride was now gone, his ears were down but his eyes were looking at the young mother's eyes.
He still had some sort of pride, but Neytiri was ready to remove it.
"Nga fpxamo koaktan, fyape kom nga mìftxele plltxe fa 'eveng. Lewng mì nga" she yelled at him.
You awful old man, how dare you speak of a child in this regard. Shame on you.
In other circumstances Jake would have jumped on Neytiri and had another child, but there was no time for mating now. Maybe later, but no now.
Other members of the clan yelled in approval of what Neytiri said,and the old warrior couldn't do anything if not go away in shame.
an emergency team was set off, both humans and na'vi were collaborating to find the child.
the infirmaries and doctors were ready for anything, both na’vi and humans.
Jake and Neytiri explored the forest from centimeter to centimeter.
"I found him" Neytiri yelled to Jake who was some meters away from her.
When he came to her he founded, his mate who was lighted by the biolimuscense of the word around them, in her arms a Spider that just woke up.
It was a beautiful immagine.
"Spider we searched for you everywhere, what happened" Jake asked lowering himself to the child, who just yawn at him.
"After Lo'ak lefted i though i do a little nap, so i lyed here and got asleep" he responded his voice was still thick with sleep.
Neytiri laughed by how much cute that voice sounded.
"Sa'nu can we go home?" He asked still half asleep, Neytiri nodded and the three of them returned to the clan.
After the news of the child who was founded have got around, both na'vi and humans started a party.
Was this a sign of friendship? Maybe not, but it was for sure the end of hostilities.
All thanks to a child falling asleep meanwhile his little brother was eating some sweets.
Thanks to @lloyd-007 for helping me find this beautiful idea.
Thanks to everyone who readed all of this, it took me only one hour honestly, i have the sensation that I'm improving and I'm happy about it.
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yandere-sins · 4 years ago
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hii!! i'm in love with your art! is it ok if i request Ribbons with Dimitri? i hope youre doing ok btw uwu
Honestly, my last two weeks were pretty much rock bottom but I am feeling a sense of relief atm since something I’ve been dragging around for years just got resolved. So right now? Doing pretty good actually, thanks, I hope you are healthy and happy as well ♥ Thanks for your request :D
Ribbons - “This hairstyle is so cute for you!... Hm? Oh sorry, the duct tape fabric is muffling your gratitude.”
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The point of no return had long passed you by, leaving you behind at this end of the road that was Dimitri’s love. How had you ended up here? Hadn’t there been any other way this could have gone? Those questions bothered you day in, day out, from sunrise to sunset, and then throughout the night as well.
You wished for an explanation, hoped to get answers by reaching deep inside your memories. Still, alas, it was a vain endeavor, as the only thing you could ever think of was that it must have been your own fault. Truly, you had just wanted to be kind and supportive. Your motives were as pure as the water of a running stream, and yet, they had brought you into the worst possible kind of predicament.
Outside the cave you were hidden away in, war raged. People fled, and soldiers died while you were bound to a chair, waiting silently in the darkness until your captor returned. Every time he left, you were scared he wouldn’t come back. And every time he returned, you wished he hadn’t.
There was nothing human about Dimitri anymore. Whatever had eaten away on him - and you wished to know what it was and even more so how to cure it so he might regain the grip on himself - had made him to something akin to a monster. Every day he touched you with his bloodied hands after coming back from the war he was raging against everyone, sullying you in something akin to a love that only a desensitized humanoid like him could feel. Other days, he simply passed out on the bed of straw he had collected in a corner, leaving you to fight your demons and fears until he woke up.
His voice brought shivers down your spine, and the smell of iron caused a nauseous lump in your throat. Every day, you were hoping that his touch would be gentle, that the tender gestures wouldn’t bruise and wrench you apart, and yet, you found yourself disappointed that this wasn’t the case. Whenever you saw an opportunity to flee, you felt his gaze on your back; the gaze of a predator not too shy to break your legs.
And yet, as painful as it was for you, Dimitri found comfort in your presence.
Even if his touch hurt, when he used a cloth to wash you down, making sure you wouldn’t be bloody when he woke up the next day, he’d smile softly, like a happy boy, glad to assist. He’d tell you gruesome tales as if they were read out of books, and though you couldn’t eat a bite with him near, he was patient in feeding you, even if you made the food fall to the ground in anger.
Those mundane things, paired with the eeriness of the candle-lit cave and the constant feeling of losing all your senses to the lack of stimulation you had aside from Dimitri, were the worst thing of all to you. And you were sure, even death couldn’t have been as cruel as Dimitri was, keeping you as his own little secret, hidden away from anyone as well as his own disturbed mind.
Even though time was a concept now that you couldn’t witness it anymore, you were sure it had been a while that you last saw the outside. It was as apparent as the growth of hair on your head. Back when you had been an active soldier, you didn’t like keeping it as long as it was now. It simply wasn’t sustainable, and frankly, a nuisance. But now, it had long started dropping off your shoulders, and you wondered why you even bothered to entertain the thought of cutting it still.
Clearly, that had something to do with Dimitri’s new obsession with making sure you were prepared. Prepared for what? You wondered that yourself. Not even he could brag with great hair befitting a king, but he was still keen on combing through yours.
At first, he had done it with his fingers. Terrible nails, paired with a non-existent sense of being gentle, caused at least as much hair to be ripped out as it fell out naturally from the stress you were experiencing. What followed was more torture with a comb he picked up from some dead farmers, paired with tears and screams and unhappiness for you both. And yet, he always came back to preening, preparing you for something you might not live long enough for to find out if these conditions went on.
“This hairstyle is so cute for you!” Dimitri chuckled, and you could only guess from all the tugging, and less oily hair slapped to your temples that he was holding back a good batch of it. But what could you say? With your mouth gagged with a miserable piece of cloth that you were clenching between your lips for far too long now, you couldn’t have answered to that even if you had wanted to. Right?
You didn’t realize until the moment it was out that you let out the muffled equivalent to an angry shout, entirely the fault of a mood swing at that moment. Your eyes widened as you felt your voice crack and your throat split painfully inside from the unusual loud utterance.
The pulling at your hair that had continued up to this point stopped, fingers halting their work to put every strand over his hand individually. It went quiet enough in the cave to hear the candle flame flickering, but your own heartbeat shut down any other sound that might have closed in on you. You didn’t just feel it jumping in your chest, but also pounding in your ears the same way it would if you were to ride out into battle and just before it was about to start.
That’s how you always felt; it was a constant battle with Dimitri.
“Hm?” Dimitri questioned as if you had asked him something he didn’t catch while he was so busy pulling out your hairs. “Oh, sorry, the fabric is muffling your gratitude.”
Before you could flinch a muscle, you felt his finger dig between the cloth and your cheek, the strain painfully cutting into the corner of your mouth. But before long, the fabric simply pulled loose, falling into your lap soaked with your spit, pulling strings of saliva with it. Without it, you were free to speak your mind and saved from your jaw unable to close or open properly, and yet, there was nothing you could have said right that moment.
Instead, you shivered uncontrollably as Dimtri grabbed you on both sides of your chin, lifting your face to meet his, cheeks briefly rubbing against each other. You hated it! You wanted all of this to stop! And yet...
“Now, tell me again what you thought, my Love.”
... gripping your chin so tightly...
“You can tell me everything. I adore you. Speak to me. Do it. DO IT!”
... you were scared that one of these days, your body would simply snap from this love he swore to you.
[You can find the prompt list here]
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bellamyroselia · 4 years ago
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Who could replace Hades as the new big bad? Overly long essay
Like pretty much everyone else in this fandom, I love Hades. Guy’s your typical pure evil villain with a personality larger than life itself and he’s having so much fun with it that it’s contagious. Every time he pops up, I’m delighted to see him. It’s so fun to see him do his shtick and have the time of his life with it, which also makes beating him feel so great. After all the crap he has put the main cast through, it’s so satisfying to blast him into the face because for a moment that confidence finally breaks and once it's all over, people cheer because they don’t have to live in horrible fear for a while at least. This characterization is mostly rooted on the sheer fear factor Hades had in the eyes of ancient people - even in civilizations which have rather chipper afterlife people tended to prefer living over dying, and this of course meant that they were absolutely terrified of the Underworld deities. Hades was mostly addressed by epithets in texts because people thought that if they called him by his name, they were drawing his attention and the last thing a sane person wants is the attention of an powerful god who has power over the dead. So if a god has this level of appeal, be it positive or negative, you may not even need excessive amount of mythological content to create a frame for a character!
This being said, I don’t believe his chances of coming back are as the big bad of a next game are high - that is unless we have to wait another 15-20 years to get a new game, but I’d like to be more hopeful than that. So if he isn’t coming back, who could possibly replace him as the new big bad of Kid Icarus? It’s not like the writers could ever run out of source material because there’s so many monsters to deal with and every god is more or less morally grey, meaning that there’s many possibilities for new bad guys regardless of the scale.
This took a lot longer than I originally expected and I’m sorry for that - there’s no worse idea than to jump into a rabbit hole and bringing a shovel with you because things will quickly spiral out of control into new interesting directions. The more info I gathered, the more interested I was on looking more into it and sometimes it even spiraled out of mythology into history and philosophy. If you’re interested on some specific reasons for why this took so long, here’s few: myths are long and there’s many different versions of them, epics are even longer, Peloponnese people couldn’t be bothered to write their own things down so I had to look what travelers wrote down, it takes Plato way too long to get into the point, Herodotus never gets into the point, someone translated the term metic as resident alien of all things which I thought was the funniest thing ever and Ludovisi Ares is really pretty.
This is the point where I give the obligatory warnings, so here - since I'm discussing mythology here, it's inevitable that there's some talk about violence and death. I'm not going to linger on the gruesome details, but know that it's there. At couple points this will spiral into a full-on history lesson because I thought that understanding the historical context was important regarding the topic I was discussing. Also this is a one long essay - and by long, I mean really, really long. If you want to read it all at one sitting, prepare some time for yourself. But with that all out of the way, let’s jump straight into the discussion on who could be the next possible big bad, shall we?
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I’m limiting this mostly to the main 12 Olympians with the addition of some other big names to keep things simple - while some smaller mythological figures such as Arachne or Arke would work fantastically as villains, they don’t have that recognition or presentation the more well known characters have. We’re trying to speculate who could fill Hades’ shoes as the new main bad guy here after all, not who we could add on the list of great yet less significant antagonists like Medusa, Pandora and Thanatos. I’m excluding Zeus, Athena, Hephaestus and Demeter from this list for rather obvious reasons - Zeus because the the guy seems to be MIA for good so Palutena could rule the place, Athena and Hephaestus because Palutena and Dyntos practically are them and Demeter because Viridi pretty much is Mycenaean Demeter on steroids in a package way too small to contain all that anger within. I also don’t think her relationship with Pit and Palutena will change drastically, so she’s sitting comfortably on her friendenemy-zone.
As for already existing characters, I don’t think anyone of them could snatch the title of the big bad. Viridi is off the competition for already mentioned reasons and I don’t see anyone from Forces of Nature defecting to become the new main villain. Pyrrhon is either gone for good or went back to whatever is this world’s equivalent of Egypt to lick his wounds, so I don’t think he’s coming back anytime soon - and if he’s coming, I don’t think he’s coming back as a main bad guy since he really wasn’t one to begin with. Thanatos’ only major mythological appearance is the myth of Sisyphus capturing death which doesn’t exactly strike confidence on his abilities in general and if that version of Thanatos couldn’t do his job correctly when meeting one guy too stubborn to die, do you really think that I believe our Thanatos has any chances of becoming the new big bad? Bringing back Medusa would be beating a dead horse at this point unless they really twist the formula and I don’t think that’s going to happen, so Medusa is off the competition. Pandora wasn’t all that big of a threat to begin with, so if she comes back she most likely stays that way. So it’s definitely going to be a new character, but who could it be?
As for who for sure can’t replace Hades as the new main bad, it’s Hestia. She probably has the lowest chance of any big Greek god to even appear in a possible future Kid Icarus game simply because there’s next to no material of her and that’s for a good reason. She was the goddess of hearth, domesticity, family, home and state. Most of these were and still are considered private, so that explains why there’s very little material of Hestia actually doing anything - we don’t write epic poetry about cleaning the house, making a macaroni casserole for dinner or going to bathroom and so didn’t the ancient people. With Hestia, you’re dealing with the bare bones of a character because she’s so passive and non-confrontational figure. It would be hard to make her a central figure in any kind of plot, especially for a one centered around action, so she’s out.
Hermes is also a figure I don’t think would work as a big bad or as an antagonist in general and I don’t really have any concrete reasons for why I think so. I just feel that he would be unfit for the role. He’s a trickster who started his shenanigans on the day he was born and the rest is mythology - by cunning escapades and underdog tactics he became the messenger of gods and from that point onward he kept collecting even more jobs such as becoming the god of merchants, shepherds and thieves, being a psychopomp, guiding dreams and helping heroes whenever he felt like it. He has a lot of going on but he’s always regarded as someone who knows all the tricks and isn’t afraid to use them, not all bad for a guy whose name was derived from a word meaning a pile of rocks.
As for why I think Hermes would make an terrible antagonist is mostly because of his status as the god of thieves and how it’s pretty much the easiest way to turn him into an antagonist. The thing here is that I just can’t stand antagonists whose main thing is that they’re amazing thieves and/or tricksters in games. While I think they can be enjoyable in other forms of media if they’re written on a smart way, in games this is almost never the case because gameplay and story don’t always match perfectly and writers need to use cheap tactics to make the character work - and by cheap I mean either A.I stands for artificial incompetence and the character is simply bad at being a thief/trickster despite all the characters and lore saying otherwise or that the game just starts cheating against the player to make them feel dumb even though they did nothing wrong. Thieves and tricksters are just really hard to balance in a game when it’s not the player character doing the deceiving. That perfect sweet spot for a great character is too goddamn tiny and if the thief/trickster isn’t exactly in there, you have an annoying character either because they’re incompetent at their job or because computer is a cheating bastard. So while there’s many enjoyable antagonists who share traits with Hermes, combine them all into a one character with the problems I already mentioned and most of the time you have a figure everybody hates due to how infuriating they’re to deal with. We’re trying to make people interested of going on and seeing what happens next here, not trying to annoy them to the point where they can just drop the game and never pick it up again. As for another reason I don’t think Hermes would work all that well as an antagonist is because his whole shtick is that despite his incredible powers, he still manages to be an underdog. Needless to say, the way underdogs are represented in media is vastly different from the way major antagonists are and while it can work, it’s hard to pull off. And of course there’s the thing of Hermes being portrayed almost always as a positive figure in myths, meaning that I and many others have a hard time imagining him as a bad guy. At his most evil we imagine Hermes doing stuff such as saying to his nephew that grandpa equals target practice, not anything that could threaten the world. Though if Hermes is included into the cast of a future game, I can image him having a theme that sounds similar to the BW rival theme for some reason. It has that I’m a one chipper fella but I’m also extremely busy right now so goodbye for a moment, see you soon-energy in it that I associate with Hermes.
As for what kind of role Hermes could be playing, he could work rather well as a quick cameo like Poseidon was in KI:U, where he offers help in some form. If one wants to go deeper into it, he could possibly run some service since he was the god of merchants and trade as well - though if one want to involve the fact of him being the god of thieves in addition to previously mentioned things, make him an occasional scammer because that’s what one would expect from a trickster. Or have him as a boss in a training gauntlet. Works either way.
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If Artemis was introduced into the series, I don’t think she would be antagonistic. I can totally see her having a cold personality and her being bit of a hard person to deal with, but I don’t see her being actively malicious character - only example of Artemis being overly cruel towards figures KI-characters seem to be based on would be her sending the Calydonian boar to cause chaos in Calydon. It’s interesting if you believe Magnus and Gaol are at least partially inspired by Meleager and Atalanta like I do, but I don’t think it’s enough to make Artemis an antagonist, much less the main villain so she’s off the competition. Not to say she isn't wrathful, I looked into it and her wrath far outnumbers her blessings, though it's rather messy at times and some of them even can't co-exist the ones about Orion and Callisto definitely can't but her wrath is divorced from the main KI-cast. You'd have to create new characters to excuse it and KI already has a rather large cast, so I don't think it would be all that wise to create new characters just for the sake of goddess cursing them for a plot line that's resolved in couple chapters. Maybe she’s just a cameo or possibly a boss in a training gauntlet.
Apollo would be an antagonist. I just don’t see any other way how he could be introduced into the series. He has potential to be a charismatic, funny and mostly harmless antagonist who isn’t there to cause any trouble, he just really hates Pit and only Pit. But why would he hate Pit? It’s not like the mythological Apollo dislikes Icarus or Perseus and that’s indeed true, but there’s one more thing. For a god who we associate with a celestial body mostly made out of hydrogen and helium, Apollo has extremely high levels of sodium chloride within him - which is to say that he has been salty starting from the moment Hermes robbed him that one time and that lake of salt inside him has only become larger ever since. That salt is directed at people he dislikes and while he doesn’t dislike Icarus or Perseus because he never met either of them, guess who he does dislike? Angel-like gods, or just Eros to be more specific.
The story goes that Apollo’s enormous ego took the better of him one day and so he started to mock his nephew for what he thought was mediocre use of the bow and arrow. Insulted Eros decided that Apollo had officially lost his uncle-license which led him to curse Apollo to have the worst love life imaginable, starting with Daphne. And as we all know Cupid is Roman version of Eros and Pit is named after Cupid, so this was hatred made in heaven and it would be disappointing to not use the opportunity when it has been given to us on a golden platter. And you don’t even have to come up with an detailed and intriguing story to explain why Apollo hates him - something could’ve very well happened during the three years Pit’s consciousness was in that ring. His body may have ruined Apollo’s chances to hit it off with people because it was destroying their cities or something similar. Or just leave it as a noodle incident that’s referenced multiple times, everyone wonders what the heck actually happened but only Apollo knows, refusing to tell the story because he just assumes that everyone already knows it and they’re just messing with him by pretending to not know. Either way, Apollo should be an antagonist if he’s featured in a sequel. Not a villain, definitely not the big bad but fun antagonist to deal with.
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This is something that most of you probably already know or at least you would know if you’ve actually read something other than Ovid’s Metamorphoses, or as I like to call it Jaded man screams at Emperor Augustus because apparently telling the Roman citizens to go all out on every monument the prude ever built clearly wasn’t enough, please tell me you have but Medusa isn’t an only child. She’s in fact one of Phorcys and Ceto’s seven children, both of them being somewhat monstrous primordial ocean deities - Phorcys has been described as a merman with red skin and crab claws, Ceto’s name in the other hand just literally means sea monster. Besides Medusa and the two other gorgons Stheno and Euryale, the list of their children includes the graeae sisters, serpentine dragon Ladon and Echidna, which is quite a lot of snake monsters for two deities who themselves don’t have any snake traits. There’s a lot of potential in this group but ideas of any of them becoming the new big bad end up falling apart because just like Medusa, they’re all rather bland characters like you’d expect from a mythological monster. They’re less like characters and more like plot devices that the hero needs to deal with. The only two members of this family besides Medusa who actually get to do something of importance are Ladon and Echidna and even those acts aren’t all that interesting. Echidna gets to have her many monstrous children with Typhon and then she’s apparently is killed by Argus, Hera’s servant-giant while sleeping on a cave just like her sister. Ladon guarded the garden of Hesperides which was well known for its golden apples and he doesn’t get to die with much dignity either, since Heracles just shoots him in the back and literally the next day other Argonauts find nymphs looking at his still twitching body. Alternatively Heracles just tricks Titan Atlas to do all the apple picking, which leaves Ladon alive.
Possibly one of the biggest problems writers have to deal with is setting. Ladon is very strictly tied into the garden setting and Echidna was cave dweller who never left her home, so writers would have to come with rather specific situations for them to appear. Of course if one wants to be lazy, Underworld could possibly serve as their home. It could very well house caves big enough to house a snake monster and Greek Underworld does have Elysium, which is basically Paradise and it could very well also function as a garden. But honestly even with the right setting, I don’t think either of them would make all that interesting big bads. They would definitely work fantastically as large-scale villains, but they don’t really have that much intimidation factor all things considered - you can blame Argus and Heracles for that.
But I’m not done with this family yet as there’s one character connected to them who’s probably the most feared monster of all Greco-Roman mythology and that’s Typhon, Echidna’s mate. He’s essentially an ancient Greek equivalent of a kaiju, more a destructive force of nature than a monster and everyone fears him - and by everyone, I mean everyone. There’s couple of versions of what happens but the most popular one goes that when the gods saw him, their first instinct was to shapeshift into animals and flee into Egypt. Those who did stay behind such as Hades were said to cover in fear in their homes while Typhon ravaged the land. Zeus tried to fight him but when he went for the kill, Typhon caught him and cut off his sinews, then threw him into a cave under the watch of another snake monster Delphyne. This didn’t stop Hermes and Pan from getting the sinews back and saving Zeus, and once his strength has been restored he and Typhon fought once again. Zeus eventually wearied Typhon down and then either casted him down into Tartarus or dropped a mountain on top of him, that being Mount Etna.
He could work very well as a big bad, problem here are just how high the stakes need to be for him to work. He’d had to be the ultimate villain if that was the case, the stakes need to be higher than they were with Hades. And considering how Hades was pretty much your typical pure evil villain causing chaos, what separates Typhon from him? Just some more chaos and no wisecracking dialogue because everyone is too scared to talk? He comes off as way too similar to Hades without all the fun personality. Maybe if KI:U became a KI:U-trilogy he could work as the ultimate big bad of the last game, but I got to say no otherwise. The bar for making him work is already sky-high due to how destructive he is and we don’t want to repeat the plot of Uprising here. So while he definitely can work, maybe save him for later.
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Hera and Poseidon both have potential to be serious antagonistic forces, but I don’t think they have it to be main villains. Hera simply fits the bill because most of the times she’s the antagonistic force actively trying to make people’s lives worse, all because she can’t direct her anger at correct people. Some times she’s just blatantly evil, like how she imprisoned her own daughter Eileithyia or you may better know her as Lucina to prevent the birth of Artemis and Apollo or how she tricked her pregnant great-granddaughter into disintegrating herself Semele is her great-granddaughter by the way. As for examples of Hera being wrathful which don’t involve Zeus being horny, she was said to be the one who sent Sphinx to Thebes, no reason given why or if there’s one, I couldn’t find it. Works either way.
Because she might as well be the personification of divine wrath, it’s pretty easy to see why one would think she would make a great villain. However that wrath also gives us a big problem, it being that her evil escapades are mostly rooted on anger and spite - while wrath is a good driving force for a villain, it needs more to work. With Hades, he does evil things for fun and is having a blast while doing it. Hera on the other hand just rages and most of the times it’s because of Zeus, who seems to be out of the picture. She’s not there to have fun and when you add her general lack of charisma on the top, you don’t end up with the most endearing character. While wrath can serve as a character motivation, it can become stale very quickly and this means that unless the story regarding villainy her is short (as in solved in 1-3 chapters) it starts to feel like dragging. I overall think that Hera does have very low chances to appear in general, but if she does appear as an antagonist she should preferably be a minor one in the same way Viridi was. You know the meme of what makes villain a supervillain and the answer is presentation? Hera doesn’t have that presentation. Writers can certainly just give her that which is what they did with Hades whose mythological counterpart was more or less a basement dweller, but why go trough all that trouble when there’s so many better candidates to work with?
On to Poseidon, who’s an important figure in the founding myth of Athens - it’s honestly quite odd how it’s never mentioned in any shape or form in KI:U despite Palutena being based on Athena. But then again, considering how much “care” this series put on the names of its cities and towns, this being ignored doesn’t really surprise me even if it does disappoint. He was a really big deal during the Mycenaean period, besides being the god of ocean he was also seen as the head god and the ruler of the Underworld. Then the Late Bronze Age collapse happened and Poseidon was nerfed in the lack of better words - during the Dark Age, Zeus became the new head god and Hades popped seemingly out of nowhere, taking over Poseidon’s role as the god ruling the Underworld. On the other news Poseidon’s antagonistic potential is somewhat dwarfed by the fact that most of his escapades involve banging and they don’t really feature any figures the main cast of KI seem to be based on. It’s annoying because he does so much but because it’s mostly banging people and either helping or bullying very specific heroes, it’s just not something that’s all that relevant in the context of KI. But there’s couple myths and stories that would make him an easy bad guy, first one is that of Atlantis - and we’re going to jump straight to the source material because on it’s core, it’s technically just another tale of Athena and Poseidon having a conflict. Fish people under the sea is fun as well, but by using the source directly it gives us the most potential.
So Plato tells in his dialogues Timaeus and Critias that when Athenian statesman Solon visited Egypt, he found some interesting records about certain events during 10th millennium BCE and translated them into Greek. Only thing here that’s true is Solon visiting Egypt, everything else was made up Plato - if you need more proof, know that 10th millennium BCE was during the stone age for context, Britain wasn’t sharing a land border with just France, but also with Belgium, Netherlands, Germany and Denmark during this time. It was that far into the past. As for the actual story, it begins by gods choosing lots of land for themselves and Poseidon chooses Atlantis. He then falls in love with a mortal woman Cleito, builds her a luxurious home, they have five sets of twin boys together and once the kids have all grown up, they divide Atlantis into ten parts and so is born ten different lineages of kings. But by each generation the kings become more and more human, meaning that it’s much more easier for their wealthy lifestyle to hit them in the head - compare that to Athenians in the story, who’re not tempted by luxuries and have quite Spartan lifestyle interestingly enough. This wealthy lifestyle of the Atlanteans quickly leads into colonialism and war mongering, leading into them trying to take over the Mediterranean but they’re are stopped by Athens because naval warfare was the only type of warfare Athenians actually excelled at. Zeus eventually looks down to see what the heck is going on and then tells Poseidon to do something because this racket is technically speaking all his fault. Poseidon agrees, causes an earthquake and then sweeps Atlantis under his rug, that being the ocean. So Atlantis is pretty much an antithesis of a perfect society, a concept that’s discussed more in Republic and the lesson here is that being consumed by hubris in the search of luxury leads to ruin - but since we’re not here for philosophy lessons, let’s forget all of that and think what kind of plot one could craft out of this mess.
Island nation in search of wealth is a good set-up for some action, so I don’t think there’s much that needs changing. Have Atlanteans attack some cities which alerts Palutena and that leads Pit into a mission in which he tries to tell Poseidon what’s going on. After 2-5 chapters of war against Atlanteans, Poseidon deals with the problem either willingly or by force - whether he just destroys the place or makes Atlanteans full on aquatic folk who can’t survive on land meaning that they have to give up the conquest is up to writers. It’s honestly quite refreshing to have the original tale working so well, because usually everything related to Atlantis in media is so divorced from what Plato told. Sure, a submerged city full of fish people could still work but by using the original tale as base we get a story with clear beginning and end which makes perfect sense in context of KI. Or maybe have the a plotline inspired by the original story first and then later have something related to the submerged city with the fish people. Best of both worlds, amazing!
Also orichalcum, the metal Atlanteans were said to have aplenty, is pretty much just copper. Reddish metal and only gold is more valuable than it, it couldn't be anything else but copper. The term even translates into mountain copper! So why is it never portrayed as copper in fiction?
Besides Atlantis, Poseidon has couple other myths I’d like to talk about too. The first one has him and Apollo losing their divine authority for a while and as punishment they have to serve Trojan king Laomedon father of king Priam and grandfather of Hector among some others if you’re wondering. The king makes them to build the legendary walls of Troy and he promises them great rewards, but once he doesn’t deliver them Apollo sends the plague upon Troy and then Poseidon sends a sea monster to terrorize the place Heracles kills it if you’re wondering. There’s also certain another situation which I’ve actually already talked about on a different post and how with little shaking it could work nicely on a future game - what I said was that Pit should do something Poseidon is going to hate to the point that the god is screaming for his head and that he wants to settle things on court.
The myth I used as reference was that of the supposed first trial in history, in which Ares kills Poseidon’s son Halirrhothius for assaulting his daughter and Poseidon loses his marbles over it. The gods gathered on Areopagus which is a real place in Athens, fun fact and I’ve heard two versions of how the trial goes. In the first version everyone agrees that Ares’ actions were justified and in the second one gods side with Poseidon, but goddesses side with Ares and since there was more goddesses present than gods, their words mattered more. Either way, Poseidon loses the trial and Ares gets away scot-free.
Were a future KI-game do their own twist with this myth, Pit would obviously take the role of Ares. Besides the fact that we’re trying to make Poseidon more antagonistic, Pit just being on a situation similar as Ares makes sense thematically speaking and I’m going to talk more about this later since it’s rather interesting. As for why the trial happens in the first place, it could very well be over anything. Maybe mix it with the one where Poseidon sends a sea monster to terrorize Troy just replace Troy with some unimportant city as this series always does and he’s so attached to it that seeing it getting slayed deeply saddens and angers him. You don’t even need to get rid of the idea that it was over a girl, even if the motive for killing the monster is changed along with what kind of relationship the girl could possibly have with the main cast. This is something I’ll get back into later because there’s in fact one other character who I’d like to talk about and how their most cruel and personal form of villainy happens to bound to a certain girl.
So back to Hera and Poseidon. There’s definitely potential for them to be antagonistic, but I’d say they would work much better as arc villains rather than as the main bad guy. There’s only so many things you can do with characters whose actions are rooted on anger or wrath, especially when they don’t have all that striking personalities.
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As for someone who could well work as the big bad, Dionysus is the first serious candidate. It’s partially due to how inconsistent his characterization has been, which I guess is something one should expect from a figure who has been around since the Mycenaean times and who happens to be the god of insanity, vegetation, orchards, fruit, grape-harvest, winemaking and wine. Does this sound like someone you’d expect to be a member of Forces of Nature? Because it sure does for me and I’d honestly be surprised if he wasn’t one if he was introduced to the franchise.
Symbolism behind Dionysus’ birth is pretty neat, my favorite version of it is the one written down by Diodorus of Sicily in Bibliotheca Historica and in that one Demeter is his mother. It starts the usual way in which the poor kid is killed shortly after his birth by Titans and Demeter comes back just in time to gather his remains to allow his rebirth shortly after. It references the harvest process and wine making - the god wine is born from the union of rain and earth just any plant is, he’s torn apart and boiled alive symbolizing the harvesting and wine-making process, his remains represent the fallen bare vines which become fertilizer for the earth and lastly wine itself is supposed symbolize the now reborn Dionysus. All of the versions of his birth myth do have this symbolism to a certain degree but I’d say this version has it the strongest because unlike his other the mother candidates, Demeter is a nature goddess first and foremost and also the goddess of agriculture.
This next point is somewhat tied to the previous one which is that he actually has valid reasons for his absence, that being his meanderings. Long story short - Hera’s angry over the fact that he exists, she injects him with madness and he wanders around like a madman for a while, then Rhea cures said madness and tells him to go on a journey so he could teach people how to make wine. So he goes and wanders around the world with the exception of Britain and Ethiopia for some reason teaching people the art of winemaking and does some other things in the meanwhile, such as apparently founding a city it’s told that on his campaign Alexander the Great came across a city that was supposedly founded by Dionysus. And this is a fun fact, apparently Dionysus’ popularity exploding around late 4th century BCE can be directly linked into Alexander, which is pretty neat. Once he comes back home he firmly establishes his place as a god and then he starts doing shenanigans much more familiar to us, such as giving king Midas his golden touch and marrying Ariadne.
So why do I think Dionysus is the first real contender for a possible new big bad? Well, do you know what’s the first thing he did once he came back to Greece? According to Bacchae, he brainwashed a city to worship him, caused an earthquake, set a palace on fire, gleefully watched when his worshipers teared a man into pieces and then turned some other people into serpents. Now that’s an entrance Viridi would be proud of!
Besides this, there’s also two similar stories in which Dionysus meets some pirates and they both show him as an unhinged god. They capture him and in the first one Dionysus shapeshifts into a lion and unleashes a bear against his captors, causing the scared pirates to abandon the ship and then Dionysus turns them into dolphins. In the other one he turns the mast and oars into snakes, fills the ship with ivy and the sound of flutes to make the pirates go mad and once again when they abandon the ship, Dionysus turns them into dolphins. The tale of him giving Midas his golden touch could also count as him being antagonistic since the act gives Midas nothing but suffering. So while he is much more friendly towards humans than your average god, Dionysus definitely has an antagonistic flare deep inside him and a place in the Forces of Nature and you can’t change my mind.
If Dionysus was a major antagonist or the big bad, I could see the plot going a lot like this - he comes home, causes some racket because he feels neglected, Viridi is happy about all of this and tries to control it while keeping him on this state of mind because who wants a happy party guy when you can have a chaotic deity, for a while she can do it but not for long before things snowball out of control and he becomes an unhinged god dead set on causing chaos. As for how he’s defeated, I can’t really come up with anything concrete on a fly but I don’t think Dionysus would be defeated the same way Hades was. And while he has the personality and presentation needed for a main antagonist, I just can’t see him as a pure evil villain like Hades was. He’s very much redeemable in my eyes and as for what happens to him after his defeat, I could see it leading to him mellowing down kind of like how Greek wine was watered down before it was used for anything - he’s still part of Forces of Nature and perfectly capable of doing all the same stuff he did as a major antagonist, but he would prefer partying with humans over destroying them. Viridi probably isn’t going to be all too happy about this, but it’s not like she’s going to be all that angry about it either.
Also fun fact at the end - in Dionysiaca, Ariadne laments if Eros and Anteros hate her because she had amazing dream about a wedding, only for Theseus to piss off and abandon her on Naxos. But as we all know, she would soon meet Dionysus who she does end up marrying so hey, the dream just wasn’t about the guy she thought she would marry. So if Dionysus isn’t going to be the big bad and the arc devoted to his villainy is relatively short, this could very well be used as a blueprint for a funny side story. Ariadne lamenting about Eros and Anteros would give Pit and Dark Pit valid reasons to be there.
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This is not a joke, by the way. The part of Underworld which wasn't either Elysium or Tartarus was commonly referred as "the House of Hades" in ancient texts.
As for someone else who could also work quite well as the big bad, that would be Persephone. You all know the drill with her - Hades takes her, Demeter panics and goes to search her, she causes the Mediterranean summer on the meanwhile and does a thing which looks awful without context Demeter sets a baby on fire which is supposed to make him immortal if you’re wondering, everyone else decides that enough is enough because endless Mediterranean summer is a nightmare, they beg for Hades to give her back and he does that but not before the pomegranate trick. Demeter causes Mediterranean winter to come, the trouble is solved, we have a nice functional couple in our hands and they continue to appear together when Underworld is relevant to the plot - which surprisingly isn’t all that often as only Adonis, Heracles, Theseus who loses his arse and friend in the process, Orpheus who loses his wife and will to live in the process, Odysseys, Psyche and Aeneas managed to go to Underworld and back. That’s not really all that much all things considered.
And before anyone says anything about seasons here - Mediterranean climate is a thing and it’s best known for its hot, dry summers and mild, wet winters. One of these is much more preferable for plant life and in this case, it’s not summer. The more you know.
While there’s not much material of her when compared some other people in this list, I’d say there’s enough to create a frame for a character. In both Theogony and Iliad Persephone is described as dreaded and in Odyssey Odysseus assumes Persephone is the one sending ghosts to torture him while he’s visiting the Underworld. Just like Hades she has her fair share of vague epithets like Despoina (mistress) and Kore (maiden), presumably for the same reason as to avoid getting her attention. And while the etymology behind her actual name is rather muddied, the popular theories are that it means something in the vain of to destroy, to bring/cause death and she who brings destruction. And people have the gall to say she isn’t scary!
With this info and Hades’ characterization from KI:U in mind, you could very easily create a powerful pure evil villain who’s not going to be happy to learn what happened to her husband. As for why I believe she would be pure evil instead of redeemable one like Dionysus, it’s simply so she and Hades would match on their villainy. Considering how the big thing about Hades and Persephone is that they genuinely love each other to the point of possessiveness Pirithous and Minthe learned it the hard way, it would be weird if they hadn’t rubbed on each other during the time they were together. There’s an amazing chance for drama here and it would be dumb to ignore it when it has been given to us on a golden platter. And besides, unholy matrimonies are quite fun in fiction. Villains too have something they love.
As for attempts of villainy that don’t revolve around her being antsy at Pit about Hades, we interestingly need to look at the list of those she granted favors rather than those that had to deal with her wrath - or just one of them in particular, Psyche. As I’ve already mentioned she was one of those mortals who managed to go to Underworld and back and to make things better, she went to Underworld specifically so she could speak to Persephone. Persephone greets her with a nice cushion to sit on and a banquet, which Psyche declines because it’s a trap this is practically just the pomegranate trick on a larger scale. She tells why she came into the Underworld in the first place and Persephone fulfills her request, which is to say that she gives Psyche boxed death.
Coming to Underworld to speak to Persephone in particular definitely gives Psyche an edge compared to others when it comes to exploring Persephone’s potential villainy. But just why is Psyche such a big deal when compared to someone else like Orpheus, Adonis or Aeneas? Well, Psyche just happens to be the girl who would become the goddess of soul, a job that isn’t currently filled by anyone in KI-universe which Hades has kindly illustrated to us in KI:U by eating and repurposing souls for his own purposes. She’s also Eros’ wife with the addition of being the mother of his daughter and as we all know at this point, Pit is mostly inspired by Eros. While Persephone just being angry about her husband’s treatment makes a perfectly fine motivation, why not use the chance when it has been represented to us on a golden platter? Because while KI has a large cast of characters, most them are quite divorced from one another when it comes to their mythological counterparts interacting with each other. This subverts it since Persephone actually gets to interact with someone important to the figure Pit’s inspired of, which is more than almost anyone else in this list can say. The opportunity is there and there’s an open position for a new god, so why not take it?
Also if Persephone is going to be in a future game, I say I’m going to be so disappointed if there's not at least one pun about her epithet Kore. Like imagine if she was introduced on a chapter called Lost Kore or something similar and then the characters would just continue on making bad puns, annoying her. Wouldn’t be too out of line when it comes to this series humor.
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I know what I’m going to say next is probably going to be controversial, but anyway - if Ares ever makes an appearance, I don’t think he would be a bad guy and this is mostly due to how Pit has been characterized. I know that may sound weird at first but trust me, I do actually have a point with this.
So let’s start with something that may seem completely unrelated at first, these being a history lesson and some talk about over-demonization. We honestly don’t know much about how some city states worshiped gods and what specific versions of the myths they had because some people just couldn’t be bothered to write things down. Besides it being extremely annoying for me, this is also probably where the misconception of all of ancient Greece being either like Athens or Sparta came from, which just is completely false. However what is correct is that city states didn’t really like one another all that much and often engaged on stupid wars with each other, only uniting when there was a much bigger threat looming on the horizon - and with war comes propaganda and when only some people write things down, we’re usually left with really one-sided information when it comes to both good and bad. For one example of this coming off as hilariously hypocritical to me is Athena being worshiped under the epithet Areia in Athens. Areia is very obviously derived from Ares and means warlike, but Athenians had their heads so far in their arses that they came up with a reasoning that this version of the epithet is actually derived from areô or areskô, meaning to propriate or atone for. It’s most likely just some crap Athenians came up with to excuse the worship of Athena Areia, which I just can’t help but find pathetically funny - you can only blame your own propaganda for this, guys.
Historically speaking Ares most likely originates from Thrace since besides his popularity in there Herodotus notes in Histories that only gods from Olympian Pantheon that Thracians worshiped were Ares, Artemis and Dionysus, a really odd trio if I have to say so myself, it’s also said to be his birthplace in the myths. His name can be found on Linear B scripts, a writing system that goes as far back as 1450 BCE and which disappeared during the Late Bronze Age collapse around 1100 BCE. This informs us that he was part of the Mycenaean Pantheon in some way, most likely even then as a war god - it also informs us that he predates gods such as Apollo, Hades and Aphrodite who just don’t exist in Mycenaean texts at least in any recognizable forms. As for Ares during the Archaic, Classical and Hellenic period, especially when it came to places that weren’t either Athens/Attica or Sparta, I had to mostly rely on travelers who wrote things they saw down because some people just didn’t bother to write their own stuff down. Pausanias’ Description of Greece was especially helpful with the research, but what must be remembered is that he lived during 2nd century CE and that he was an outsider to these cultural aspects so how old some of this stuff here is and what the exact context behind it was, I don’t know and neither do others at least currently, one sure can hope so we know more in the future. Then again past is another country so maybe I'm setting my hopes way too high. When given anything in Linear A, people channel their best "I never learned how to read!"-impression.
As for how Ares’ Roman counterpart Mars came to be, it’s mostly due to syncretization. He probably was originally an agricultural god who was later associated with warfare once the Roman Republic started expanding. It’s possible that he was syncretized with an Etruscan deity called Maris, who was usually portrayed as a young boy whose caregiver was Menrva, a goddess who was later identified with Athena and Minerva. While this isn’t an universally agreed take, it’s still pretty interesting in context of Kid Icarus even if it wasn’t intentional or in the case of the take, true. Once Romans started to interact with Greek settlers from Magna Graecia Mars was syncretized with Ares, giving us the Roman god that looks familiar to us. One notable thing to keep in mind is that most of those Greek settlers in Magna Graecia originated from Peloponnese and what I’ve managed to find, they held Ares on much more higher regard than those originating from Attica did.
Okay, now when that has been cleaned out of the way, let’s go to the slightly more interesting stuff which is cult titles and epithets. Just like any other god he has his fair share of both, some examples include Teichesipletes (stormer of cities/walls), Hippius (horseman, of the horses), Theritas (beastly/brutish), Enyalius (warlike), Obrimus (strong/mighty), Thurus (violent/furious), Chrysopelex (of the golden helm) and Chalcocorustes (armed with bronze). I’m using Latin spelling of these to make things easier for myself if you’re wondering. But there’s two titles I specifically want to talk about, both them originating from Arcadia around Tegea because apparently all the cool stuff happens in Arcadia.
Interestingly also in Tegea there was a temple of Athena under epithet Alea. Pausanias tells that her priest there was a boy who held the title until he reached puberty, meaning that her priest was a child. Now this has nothing to do with Ares, but it’s pretty interesting when thinking of Pit. It’s not exactly same for sure, but could this mean that he would leave Palutena if he ever grew up?
The first one is Gynaecothoenas, meaning “Feasted by women” - and no need to worry, it’s nowhere near as sexual as it sounds. The story goes that Tegeteans were at war with Sparta and what decided the victory was an ambush by Tegetean women. Because of this, they offered Ares a sacrifice and celebrated the victory alone. The king of the Spartans at the time was said to be Charilaus, meaning that this victory must have happened around early-to-mid 8th century BCE, making this rather old cult title by the time Pausanias was writing. If only the research for everything else here could’ve been as easy as this.
The other and much more interesting title was Aphneius, meaning “Abundant” and under this title he was worshiped as the giver of food or abundance. The story behind this title goes that Ares fell in love with Tegetean princess Aerope and they had a child together, but she died during childbirth. Ares, doing his damndest to keep his son alive, managed to find a way for the baby to still have milk. Once he grew up, his son Aeropus then managed to do the thing that’s near impossible for a demigod, which is to live a normal life as the lord of Tegea. Now this would make a great character backstory…
… What was I talking about again? Oh yeah, history lesson is over! Finally! Now into the fun stuff, which is Pit’s characterization. It’s pretty common knowledge at this point that that Pit’s inspirations are Icarus, Perseus and Eros but when it comes to his characterization, Eros definitely takes the cake as the main inspiration. He is a fully realized character with multiple myths under his wing, unlike Icarus or Perseus.
Starting with Icarus, he isn’t even a character but a plot device. He’s a tool for Daedalus’ character development and that’s where his importance ends. He’s a miniscule part on a much larger narrative in which the most important part is the Minotaur, as it drives the plot for everything else in it. Icarus’ death serves to drive Daedalus’ character to the point which eventually leads into him killing Minos. He exists for a metaphor that pop-culture has blown out to be way more important than it originally was and that’s it.
As for Perseus… The guy is just really bland. While all the other heroes have their flaws like hubris and wrath, Perseus doesn’t really have any flaws. He doesn’t have that many achievements in either bravery or stupidity due to his method of dealing with things being the quickest way possible. This makes all of his battles extremely boring and because he’s one of the first demigod heroes in the mythological timeline, he doesn’t even get to interact with anyone who could be interesting. How many of you even know that he’s supposed be the founding hero of Mycenae? Not many, I’m sure about that. The most interesting thing about the guy his that he’s an ancestor to people such as Tyndareus, Alcheme, Heracles, Penelope and Telemachus but this doesn’t save him from being any less boring. He's that famous ancestor nobody gives a damn, so to speak. Pit certainly doesn’t get any part of his personality from a plot device or a blank of wood, only a literary reference and an antagonist.
Also can I quickly rant about the Angels in art vs. Angels in Bible meme because I hate it? For some reason most of times when people show art of these supposed angels, they aren’t even showing biblical angels but Erotes/Amores or Nike/Victoria instead. Erotes/Amores and Nike/Victoria are winged Greco-Roman gods, not biblical angels and using art of them proves absolutely nothing. Also you may have forgotten that there’s in fact hierarchy of angels and not all of them look identical. In Christian faith angelic hierarchy is composed of three orders, there being nine different kinds of angels - Seraphim, Cherubim, Ophanim/Thrones, Dominions, Virtues, Powers, Principalities, Archangels and Angels. Seraphim and Cherubim do indeed look terrifying and so do Ophanim, but Thrones are just bizarre because apparently they’re elderly carrying God’s throne, whatever that means also I’ve seen people use Ophanim and Thrones interchangeably which just makes the whole deal even bigger of a mess. And then there’s Dominions, who’re just really pretty winged people, proving that the idea of all biblical angels looking terrifying is completely false. I couldn’t find what Virtues looked like, but if they’re anything like Powers, Principalities, Archangels and Angels they’re most likely pretty winged humanoids. So yeah, surprising amount of biblical angels are indeed just pretty winged humanoids and only the highest order of them is clearly inhuman - so if you ever wondered why so many angels in art actually featuring Biblical angels have them looking so humanlike, now you know! It's not the highest rank's job to interact with the human world. Though in modern language, the term angel is simply used as an umbrella term which refers into a winged humanoid being regardless of which religion they originated from - so by using this as a frame, it would indeed make Erotes/Amores and Nike/Victoria angels along with some other winged gods such as Eos and Iris. This would also make Iris’ twin sister Arke a fallen angel because as punishment for siding with the Titans during Titanomachy, she was casted into Tartarus and her wings were ripped off so she could never escape from there. And then much later her wings are given as a wedding gift to Achilles’ parents, my god! You could actually a craft a plot out of this, hmmm. When it comes Pit and Dark Pit, I do think they’re angels only on this broad, modern way definition due to them being mostly inspired by the Greco-Roman Erotes/Amores and it’s possible that they’re only referred as angels because not only is the term Erotes/Amores is strictly associated with Aphrodite and only Aphrodite, it's also much more specialized term than just "angel". There has also been cases in art featuring multiple Nikes, but Nike's special role as the goddess of victory still prevents its use as a broad term. So I believe that in the case of KI, angel is just an useful umbrella term and nothing more.
So Pit’s mostly an Eros-expy when it comes to his personality and attributes, so what makes him so special when compared to many other Eros-expies in media? It’s actually a surprisingly small thing, but boy does it make a difference - on a thematic sense, Pit’s a total daddy’s boy and in this case the dad would be Ares. Most of the Eros-expies you see in media are completely divorced from anything related to Ares despite the guy being Eros’ dad but not in Kid Icarus, where we have a very blatant Eros-expy whose connections to his main mythological inspiration come almost exclusively from Ares. Just why is Pit doing Nike’s job? Because Nike happens to be Ares’ daughter according to some sources, like in the Homeric hymn dedicated to him. Why’s he a soldier in an army? Because Ares was a soldier and in some parts of Greece he was seen as a model of a perfect one who’s resilient and has physical strength that isn’t matched by anyone else. Apparently in Sparta they even had a statue of shacked Ares, supposedly as an attempt to keep the martial spirit and victory in Sparta I don’t know about you but for me this sounds like a very bad move, as if they were asking for the god’s wrath. Then again Athenians did the same thing with wingless Nike, so I guess it was fine in some twisted way. Why does Dark Pit exist? Because would you know it, there’s myth in which Ares and Aphrodite spot lonely little Eros and decide to create Anteros to be his brother, their only differences being hair, wings and weapons of choice Anteros has longer hair, plumed butterfly wings, golden club and lead arrows when compared to Eros' golden bow + both golden and lead arrows. Why does Magnus possibly being based on Meleager matter? Because would you know it, the dude’s sometimes a son of Ares. Why did he spend three years trapped inside a ring? It could parallel the tale of Ares and the giants, in which he spent a lunar year trapped inside a jar. Why does a dog help him during that section? It could still very well be reference Ares and the giants as Hermes and Artemis came to save him and one of Artemis’ sacred animals is a dog and Hermes is the god guard dogs. Also one of Ares’ sacred animals is dog as well, meaning that it could reference this as well. Honestly if Pit ends up having a divine parent and it’s not Ares, I call bullcrap.
So now when that has been made clear, what can writers do with Ares? Well if you take the myth of Poseidon wanting to settle things on court and give it to Pit, you end up losing one of his three major myths in which he’s wrathful towards someone odd I know, you’d probably expect a god of war to be much more wrathful but no, he’s not. The two ones that are left don’t really give all that great material either because in the first one, the target is Adonis and whether it even was Ares’ wrath that killed him is left open - in some versions it’s Artemis who wants him dead because she’s angry at Aphrodite for causing the situation which lead to the death of her hunter Hippolytus, sometimes it’s Apollo who still hasn’t forgiven Aphrodite for blinding his son Erymanthus, occasionally it’s Persephone of all people because she’s angry at Adonis for wanting so spend time with Aphrodite and at times it’s just an accident this all makes me think it was an elaborate coup. There’s always a reason for a divine being to be angry at Aphrodite because she just can’t help but cause trouble whenever she can. When it comes to the second one, it’s honestly pretty odd because not only does Ares forgive the man who originally was the target of his wrath, it illustrates how good of a parent he is on Olympian standards not that it’s a high bar but anyway - even better than the lady whose favorite boytoy he is, and she’s well known for being an overprotective parent.
The myth starts with this lad called Cadmus, who founds the city of Thebes, becomes its king and then kills a dragon residing on a nearby spring. Ares is furious about this since the dragon was sacred to him and apparently it’s sometimes his son, don't know how that works and as punishment, Cadmus has to serve Ares for eight years he got it easy when compared to Adonis and Halirrhothius. Once that service is over, Cadmus marries one of the two daughters of Ares and Aphrodite, this being Harmonia, the goddess of harmony. However not everything is all sunshine and rainbows because Hephaestus is still salty about how his marriage with Aphrodite went south and once he hears about a wedding, he prepares two gifts for the bride - first one was a beautiful necklace that could keep its wearer eternally youthful and the other one was a luxurious robe. But there was a catch, since both of these objects were cursed to bring bad luck to those who owned them. The bad luck eventually took its take on Cadmus’ mental state and one day he remarked that if gods fancied those serpents so much, maybe his life would be so much better as one. Gods fulfill this wish, he’s turned into a serpent and once Harmonia notices what has happened, she wishes the same. At one point Dionysus comes to the city, trashes the place and then gives them a propechy of this happening. Either way, Ares comes down to get the unlucky couple and then scoots them to safety in paradise-like Elysium, where they get to reside from now on.
You may already be familiar with this myth to a certain degree because Pokemon B/W could technically count as an adaptation of it. N is of course the most obvious parallel due to him getting his second name from Harmonia and Ghetsis takes a role comparable to Hephaestus. It all becomes even funnier because Harmonia hits some characteristics associated with yin - she’s passive, feminine figure who represents harmony which can only exist due to lack of action, an idea. It gains even more hilarity points thanks to existence of Adrestia, Harmonia’s sister and the goddess of revolt - she’s pretty much yang to Harmonia’s yin and to make things even more hilarious, she was often portrayed as a beautiful winged maiden. Now who would expect the goddess of revolt to be a lovely winged lady and the goddess of harmony to be at least momentarily a serpent?
While this is indeed an interesting myth, I don’t think it would make all great material for future KI-game, at least on its current form. The cast of KI doesn’t really get to interact with humans on a personal level, which is something this myth largely relies on. Honestly, I think the best way it could be referenced in game would be just Pit going to Elysium and meeting Harmonia still trapped on a draconic form. Considering the way Hades had been characterized in KI:U, it wouldn’t surprise me if he had just kept trapped Harmonia as a pet lizard in his garden. Maybe say something on the vain of him eating the husband’s soul or using it for something else to explain why she’s there all by herself. And if you want to make fun of the fact that the fourth wall might as well not exist, throw Adrestia in Elysium as well as a dragon as a nod to Pokemon. “The Twin Dragonesses of Elysium” sounds like it would make a very cool boss fight.
So a wrath or blessing, Ares gives us not much to work with either of those at least when it comes to him actually doing stuff - but that doesn’t mean we’re left with nothing because there’s three myths that I’ve glossed over quickly that could give us something, one just for comedy and two others actual plot. As for the one that’s just for comedy, it’s the one in which Sisyphus captures Thanatos. Ares is actually the one to save Thanatos from the tough situation since after it has continued for a month, he bursts into Sisyphus’ house, frees Thanatos and drags Sisyphus’ spirit to the Underworld… Only for him to come up with a sad story, which leads into Persephone letting him go only for it to backfire. Ares then disappears from the story, but it ends up with Sisyphus doing P.E for eternity in Tartarus once he dies for real as you all already know. This is pretty funny if a bit morbid myth, so it could be really easy to use it as a comedy goldmine if Ares ever interacted with Thanatos. Maybe have Thanatos trying to act like they’re friends, only for Ares to become more and more frustrated the longer Thanatos continues. Maybe once he mentions some of his escapades involving Pit, Ares finally decides that enough is enough and shows to Thanatos that mortals don’t call him by the name Thurus for nothing.
To the myths you could get some serious plot out of, the first one is very predictably the one in which he earns the title Aphneius. It just has everything a great character backstory needs on its original form, meaning that it could easily be inserted on the game with minimal changes and it could still work fantastically. It has a romance between a god and a mortal which ends up on a tragedy during a moment that was supposed to be joyous not because of any divine whim or I guess it could’ve been Aphrodite being salty because she has a habit of releasing her wrath upon Ares’ loved ones or relatives, usually grandchildren such as Hippolytus, but I think it would’ve been written down had the story actually said it was Aphrodite behind Aerope’s death, but because of something beyond their control. And instead of taking his frustrations on the baby like so many fathers in these stories do, he instead does everything to keep him alive and so Aeropus grows up to be fine ruler, if an unremarkable demigod. A writer could easily use Aeropus as a base for an interesting heroic character… And I guess you can already see where this is going. I already said that Ares would make the most sense as Pit’s divine parent if he indeed has one, so this would make an excellent backstory if that was the case.
I could see the timeline going something like this if this was true - Ares meets KI-universe’s equivalent of Aerope, the two have an adorable romance and are expecting a kid but something goes horribly wrong and Aerope dies, instead of letting Aerope’s family to take care of the kid Ares takes the baby with him because who knows what they would do to a winged baby so many myths have families abandoning their kids for dumber reasons than this so why wouldn’t he take the kid with him + this dude had 3-6 winged kids, one all by himself, so he definitely is the one hogging all the wing genes instead of Aphrodite, he tries single parenting but it’s hard when certain goddess is constantly shooting stinkeyes and paralyzing glares at his direction and it leads into him asking help from Palutena because a winged kid wouldn’t look too out of place among her angel minions. Considering how Palutena and Poseidon were capable of having a conversation in KI:U without any horrible atrocities being committed, I don’t think it’s too far-fetched to imagine her relationship with Ares being along your typical sibling-relationship rather than what Atheanians wrote down Ares and Athena were actually worshiped together in the town of Olympia under titles Hippius and Hippias, fun fact. You could also see it as a favor inspired by how Menrva took care of Maris. Anyway, this deal goes swimmingly for a while until the events of a certain other myth take place, which makes Palutena the sole caregiver of Pit - some unspecified amount of time later que the events of the original Kid Icarus and onward.
Fanfic time over, now to the other myth which could explain Ares’ absence - it’s the one about him and the giants. Long story short, there’s these two giants called Ephialtes (derived from the word meaning nightmare) and Otus (either derived from the word meaning insatiate, doom or horned owl) who’re sons of Poseidon because of course they are, goddammit Poseidon and a mortal woman Iphimedeia, they’re also called by the name Aloadae. They were planning to storm into Olympus to kidnap some wives for themselves, Otus wanting Artemis and Ephialtes wanting Hera what great choices, you complete imbeciles, absolutely amazing. So one day Olympians are surprised to find these two giants piling up mountains on top one another and as expected, there’s a big fight between them because no one comes to the Olympian home turf without facing the consequences. Once the two giants finally leave, the Olympians notice that someone is missing, that being Ares. Ephialtes and Otus probably realized way too late that kidnapping the god of war wasn’t the brightest idea and because letting him go wasn’t an option, they locked him inside bronze jar of which he tried to break out without success. It took around a lunar year for the giants stepmother to rat this out to Hermes, who went to save Ares with Artemis. While she distracted the giants and made them throw their spears at each other, Hermes lockpicked Ares out of the jar and so the three returned to Olympus.
So how could this myth be used while crafting a plot for a future game? I’d say it depends on whether writers want to use Ares as a full-blown good guy from the start or as an antagonist at first - and while I do still believe that Ares wouldn’t be a bad guy on his own free will, who said he’s going to burst out of that jar with that free will still intact? It’s not like we haven’t seen brainwashed antagonists in the series before, Gaol was a one.
So if we have Ares as an antagonist who’s brainwashed and crazy, how could the possible plot be handled? I could see it starting with the two giants resurfacing for something trivial but because they’re being destructive, it catches the attention of Palutena who sends Pit down to deal with them. The giants are dealt with in 1-3 chapters and one way or another Pit finds a large jar and breaks it, releasing the crazed Ares. Neither side recognizes each other and there’s possibly a boss fight which ends with Ares leaving and him becoming a wandering antagonist who causes racket when someone angers him. He most likely isn’t connected to any other antagonist or the main villain, but I could see them trying to recruit him without any success. As for how he was brainwashed in the first place, it could be the Aloadae wanting to get some use out of their prisoner and they decided to make him into an indestructible living weapon either to themselves or someone else - maybe it even was commissioned by the big bad because who wouldn’t want an powerful living weapon who’s loyal to you and only you. Either way it proves fruitless as Pit frees Ares from the mind control and slowly but surely he starts to establish himself as a good guy and an ally to Pit and Palutena.
This would actually go pretty well along with a certain another thing about Ares, that being helmet and symbolism connected to it - you see, mythological Ares was often portrayed to have something I like to call Meta Knight-syndrome. He was said to be a beautiful man with a lovely face, apparently much more prettier than any other male Olympian which could possibly explain why he’s Aphrodite’s favorite boytoy and he wasn’t particularly proud of it - just what kind of self-respecting enemy would take you seriously if you have a face of an angel? But that didn’t stop people from drawing or sculpting him without a helmet, and the result were indeed pretty my goodness is Ludovisi Ares a one beautiful sculpture. Just considering how the art we see of Ares can be categorized into him either with or without a helmet, writers could easily craft a narrative out of this - while wearing a helmet he’s under mind control and once freed he fights helmetless, allowing player to see him as who he really is. Helmet obscuring the face equals bad guy and once it cracks, we can have a very confused ally who cries over the fact that his baby is a big boy now, cries some more because there’s two of them now, may or may not join us to missions if there’s a two-player mode for story or just help with training and also maybe cracks dad jokes few times because humor is a valid coping mechanism. This all kind of reminds me how one other popular trend relating to Ares in art was to have him disarmed with young Eros playing with his armor. Cute!
Somewhat relating to the idea of Ares starting as a brainwashed antagonist turned ally once the helmet is smashed, I could see him having two different themes which illustrate the different natures of him. First one should be something brooding and terrifying, maybe something similar to Gustav Holst’s Mars, the Bringer of War which a really great piece of classical music that has inspired composers all around the world, even at Nintendo. If you haven’t heard it, you certainly have heard at least one song inspired by it metal genre can thank its existence on Mars, no kidding. As for the other theme, I think it should be a warm, calm and welcoming one with a hint of sadness, a complete opposite of the battle theme when it comes to the first expression. I’ve been recently listening a lot of TSFH and Hans Zimmer so if I had to say what kind of energy I’d want this possible theme to have, I’d probably say something between TSFH’s Friendship To Last from the demonstration album Nemesis, Final Days of Rome from album Unleashed and Now we are free from Gladiator. They all have this bittersweet yet beautiful feeling in them I love. Maybe there’s a shared leitmotif or something between the two themes connecting them into each other. Thurus and Aphneius were both titles for the same god after all, even if they were about wildly different aspects of him.
So just like with Apollo, I think there’s only one way to bring Ares into the franchise and in this case it would be making him Pit’s dad. It just makes way too much sense to me considering how Pit has been characterized that it would be odd if there wasn’t any connection between the two. And there’s even couple out-of-universe reasons why I don’t believe he would be the bad guy, the first and most notable being that the names Ares and Mars are already associated with morally righteous characters or at least characters we’re supposed to root for in Nintendo games. Sakurai certainly knows this, Marth has been in Super Smash Bros since Melee as a playable character and his name just blatantly is Mars in Japanese and his English name is just the Japanese way of saying Mars. You don’t bastardize the face of another franchise in your own one, especially if you’re both exclusives to the same company and the other franchise is much more bigger and important than yours is.
Since it would be hard to introduce Ares into the franchise, I would be completely fine with him not being featured in next game at all even though I would find it extremely disappointing. But if you’re not going to have him, at least have a reference to him in form of a weapon like Blade of Ares or Blade of Mars because would you know it, the legendary sword of Attila was also known as the sword of Mars. We’re probably never going to get actual swords in KI but blade has been used as a synonym for them, so there being a blade with said name could work just fine. That or finally add spear and shield combo into the game. But if you want to use the character who would work as the big bad the best into their fullest, maybe it would be a good idea to have Ares as well... All roads may lead to Rome, but not to the arms of Genetrix in this case.
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Call me crazy, but I think that Aphrodite would make the perfect big bad. Does she have that charisma and personality comparable to Hades? Yes she does, and unlike him she had all that in real life - one of her titles was Pandemos, quite literally meaning “of the people”. This made her extremely popular among people regardless who they were or where they lived, and how can you blame them since there’s not many people whom things such as beauty, love and sex don’t matter in some shape or form. Only Olympian who really matched her when it came to popularity was Zeus, but considering how he was the king of all gods it was to be expected that he’d outrank her on the popularity board. She was the most popular goddess in Greece by a longshot and that was also true for Venus in Rome, even if Mars took the place as the second most popular god after Jupiter. Due to her being the mother of Roman founding hero Aeneas, she was viewed as the mother of all Rome and it was used by people as a way to climb up the political ladder. The Julio-Claudian dynasty claimed to descend from her through Aeneas and it didn’t stop there - you can actually trace the ancestry of multiple mythological European figures all the way back to her! Some notable examples of this include Bladud/Blaiddyd, Leir of Britain, Goneril, Regan, Cordelia of Britain and supposedly even king Arthur himself last one is a bit iffy, but all the others are concrete, Aphrodite just flat out is their ancestor through Aeneas. She definitely has the charisma and presentation needed for a big bad because you simply couldn’t be able to pull of any of the previously mentioned things without them and if she could do it in real life, who says she couldn’t do it in a fictional world?
Pretty much only thing about Aphrodite that stays constant is her popularity because in the myths, her characterization is wildly inconsistent - I guess that something one should expect from a goddess who rules over matters such as beauty and love, two things one can never truly understand. However with that being said, there’s trends that stay with her regardless her ever-changing personality. She’s technically speaking an outsider to the Olympian family tree as her most popular and possibly the oldest one as well birth story has her as the motherless child of Ouranos, emerging fully formed from seafoam. Hestia, Hades, Demeter, Poseidon, Hera and Zeus form the first generation of Olympians and Ares, Athena, Hephaestus, Artemis, Apollo, Hermes and Dionysus are principal members of the second generation. By adding Eileithyia, Persephone and Hebe into the mix you get the main Olympian family, making Aphrodite feel like even more of an outsider. She only starts to fit among the family when the third generation is added and speaking of said generation, part of it forms her attendants. The two most important ones are her sons Eros and Anteros, love and love requited, whom she let’s to do pretty much all they want as long as they stay loyal to her. However once that loyalty shifts, she can be quite cruel towards them which is illustrated in the myth of Eros and Psyche quite well - and I’m going to let Aphrodite herself to do all the talking, so here’s a quote from from Apuleius’ The Golden Ass:
‘This is a fine state of affairs, just what one would expect from a child of mine, from a decent man like you! First of all you trampled underfoot the instructions of your mother--or I should say your employer--and you refused to humble my personal enemy with a vile love-liaison; and then, mark you, a mere boy of tender years, you hugged her close in your wanton, stunted embraces! You wanted me to have to cope with my enemy as a daughter-in-law! You take too much for granted, you good-for-nothing, loathsome seducer! You think of yourself as my only noble heir, and you imagine that I'm now too old to bear another. Just realize that I'll get another son, one far better than you. In fact I'll rub your nose in it further. I'll adopt one of my young slaves, and make him a present of these wings and torches of yours, the bow and arrows, and all the rest of my paraphernalia which I did not entrust to you to be misused like this. None of the cost of kitting you out came from your father's estate.’
Let’s file that under yikes. She’s saying this to her injured child and it’s about a girl he loves more than anything but she can’t stand her. And it’s not like Aphrodite dislikes her for any valid reasons, it’s all because Psyche is pretty and Aphrodite took it as a personal attack. This temperament is a stable with her, be the fuss she causes either positive or negative. It goes well in the line of the idea that she was never a child and was born fully formed, as it’s pretty hard to learn those important childhood life lessons as an adult. And do you want to know the best part about this mess? After this massive rant she’s confronted by Hera and Demeter, two goddesses who in all intents and purposes should understand what she’s feeling right now and guess what they do? They call Aphrodite a hypocrite in her face because that’s exactly what she is. Why is she so angry at her child for growing up and experiencing romantic love for the first time when she spends most of her time either being in love or making others fall in love?
Let’s leave the sad lovers behind for a while and talk about Aphrodite in some other myths. There’s not many myths about her that don’t feature romance or sex in some form, but those few are usually about her competitive nature. There’s a myth about Hermes and Aphrodite participating on funeral games yes, this was a real tradition organized by Apollo and she won, her prize being a zither which she later gave to Paris. There’s also a myth about her and Athena having a weaving competition which ended on her losing miserably because as one might expect, challenging the goddess of weaving into a weaving competition couldn’t possibly end well. But since these kind of myths are about things out of her assignments, there isn’t many of them. Most of them are about her helping people with their relationship problems, some examples could be her giving Galatea life on Pygmalion’s wishes and gifting Hippomenes the three golden apples so he could win the race for Atalanta’s heart. But it’s also really easy to earn her anger, some notable immortals who were victims of her wrath are the titan goddess of dawn Eos (she didn’t want to share Ares so she cursed Eos to feel uncontrollable desire towards a new man every day), the titan god of sun Helios (he ratted out her relationship with Ares so she cursed him to forget everyone he ever loved romantically and then made him fall in love with princess Leucothoe - it ends badly and that’s how we got heliotropes), the muse Calliope (Aphrodite saw Zeus asking her help for covering the whole deal about who gets to keep Adonis as a personal attack and so she cursed her son Orpheus to have a horrible death in the hands of Dionysus’ worshipers - interestingly enough this has nothing to do with the fact that Calliope did also sleep with Ares or that she married Oeagrus who’s sometimes said to be Ares’ son, which would make Orpheus his grandson), a minor ocean deity Nerites (he refused to follow her into the land so she turned him into a shrimp) and Pan (Aphrodite and this handsome lad Acheilus had a beauty competition and Pan was the judge - he said Acheilus was prettier so Aphrodite turned the poor lad into into a hideous shark-creature and then cursed Pan to be hopelessly in love with the nymph Echo, the very same Echo who had her eyes on Narcissus). It could even be said that her blessings aren’t going to last for long and by using Hippomenes as an example once again, we learn that in one version of the story she turned him into a lion all because he didn’t pay his respects back to her soon enough. Guileful Aphrodite indeed.
Due to her temperament and general lack of caring about the consequences of her actions, Aphrodite has earned the ire of many gods - just look no further than Adonis, there’s four possible culprits who could’ve caused his death. Because of their contradictory natures, she’s often portrayed as not getting along with Hestia, Athena and Artemis and while there’s not much material for Hestia there’s multiple myths of Aphrodite causing unpleasant situations for Artemis and her hunters, Hippolytus being the shining example of this. The judgement of Paris establishes her relationship with Hera and Athena as a rocky one and the Trojan war has them full-on enemies on opposite sides, Athena even telling the Greek Diomedes during the war that he should avoid fighting literally any god with the exception of Aphrodite - it leads into him throwing a spear at Aphrodite, piercing her wrist and this leads into Aphrodite cursing Diomedes in return. Also in some records such as Cypria Helen’s mother is stated to be the goddess Nemesis, so add her into the list of gods Aphrodite has angered so it turns out the goddess who truly was Nemesis’ enemy was never the one from Blue Sea Star but rather the one who represented Morning Star, how ironic. Her relationship with the male Olympians are a bit better but not always, in fact she has no meaningful one with Apollo at all. Her marriage with Hephaestus was an unhappy one and only after they divorced were they both allowed to be happy, Hephaestus by marrying Aglaea and having a family with her and Aphrodite by continuing her many affairs without any worries. She did scorn Zeus when he tried to get it on with her, but otherwise there’s not much either good or bad blood between them. Besides Ares, Aphrodite did find both Poseidon and Dionysus handsome and had affairs with them, but it’s unclear if they resulted any children - Rhodos has Telchine Halia and Amphitrite as her other mother candidates, Peitho is almost always said to be a child of Tethys and Oceanus instead, the Charites were more often said to be children of Zeus and Oceanid Eurynome rather than Aphrodite’s and Priapus just has no parents set in stone because no telling was seemingly more popular than others. The birth myth of Hermaphroditus starts with Aphrodite telling Hermes to piss off because he doesn’t come even close to her standards, so he asks little help from Zeus to get what he wants and therefore I can’t imagine them having a positive relationship because of this. And after reading so many myths in which Aphrodite targets Ares’ grandkids for whatever reasons, I’m starting to think that he should start running away and quickly. Maybe she really did kill Aerope.
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Now returning to the love story with a happy ending which has the most famous victim of Aphrodite’s wrath, Eros and Psyche. It begins in a town with no name given oh, so this isn’t completely baseless in KI where princess Psyche (meaning either soul or breath of life) is having trouble socializing - the people have declared that she’s as if not more beautiful than Aphrodite and they have started worshiping her, denying normal human interaction from her. This obviously pisses off Aphrodite because it has been established that she has the self-control skills comparable to a toddler and so she orders her son Eros to make Psyche to fall in love with something hideous. While he agrees to do the deed, once he sees the beautiful Psyche he can’t help but to fall in love with her and then he chooses to defy his mother, crafting a plan on what to do next. In the meanwhile the loneliness is making Psyche miserable and that doesn’t go unnoticed by her parents, so they go to visit the oracle of Apollo for help. Considering how Apollo is still very much salty at Eros for cursing him to have the worst love life imaginable, his words aren’t all that comforting (another quote from The Golden Ass):
‘Adorn this girl, O king, for wedlock dread, and set her on a lofty mountain-rock. Renounce all hope that one of mortal stock can be your son-in-law, for she shall wed a fierce, barbaric, snake-like monster. He, flitting on wings aloft, makes all things smart, plaguing each moving thing with torch and dart. Why, Jupiter himself must fearful be. The other gods for him their terror show, and rivers shudder, and the dark realms below.’
She and her parents are obviously horrified by this, but they do as they were told to and Psyche is left alone on a cliffside where the god of west wind Zephyrus picks her up. He brings her into a lovely meadow where she takes a refreshing nap and after she wakes up, she sees a beautiful palace and goes in. She’s charmed by the looks of the place and then a disembodied voice tells her that she will be provided by many invisible servants while living in there. Once night falls she’s nervous to meet her husband, but after the first meeting she starts looking forward on their nights together. This continues for quite some time, but in the meanwhile Psyche’s family is starting to get worried about her and she’s in return worrying about them. Eros promises that her sisters can come to visit, but also tells her that she shouldn’t listen them if they sound jealous. Psyche agrees and Eros gets Zephyrus to scoot the sisters down to visit, but as expected the sisters get jealous really quickly and start to make her worry if what the oracle told about her husband was indeed true - what finally broke the camels back was the sisters suggesting that he’s planning to kill her and their unborn child. So when the next night falls, she has prepared herself a lamp and dagger to see if her husband really is a monster - once she draws the lamp near and sees that he’s in fact Eros himself, she’s awestruck and accidentally stabs herself with one of his arrows, making her fall for him even harder. But while admiring him some oil spills from the lamp on Eros, causing him to wake up and leave. Earlier in the story Psyche had said that she’d much rather die than throw this marriage away and she’s willing to live by that statement, so she goes to search Eros and atonement - meanwhile Aphrodite is beating her son in the head by talking how horrible child he is for daring to fall in love and then she imprisons him Genetrix knows nothing in this case. Hera and Demeter call her a hypocrite, which doesn’t ease her anger in the slightest.
Psyche eventually finds her way into a temple of Aphrodite and she calls her two servants to beat the poor girl to make herself feel better. After having a good laugh over Psyche’s suffering, she gives her another beating herself and then dumbs different kinds of grains on the ground, saying that she should sort them by night if she ever wants to see Eros again. Sometimes prompted by him, ants nearby take pity on Psyche and help her - predictably Aphrodite isn’t all too happy about this and she comes up with a much more deadlier task. By morning she tells her that she should get some golden fleece from the sheep living on a grove across nearby river. This disheartens Psyche because she knows gathering the fleas directly is a suicide mission, but she’s consulted by local river deity who tells her how the sheep behave and that instead of approaching the sheep at all she should just collect fleas caught on foliage. She does as was told and Aphrodite becomes even more enraged, telling her to go gather water from river Styx. While she finds her way to Styx without much hassle, she’s overwhelmed by the hopelessness of the situation - luckily for her everyone has come to the conclusion that Aphrodite is being horrible and Zeus sends one of his eagles to help Psyche to get the water.
At this point Aphrodite’s patience is running thin and she gives Psyche a box, tells her to go into Underworld to get a part of Persephone’s beauty and come back with it because this whole deal of torturing her little daughter-in-law has been so hard for her and she needs to look good while going to the divine theatre. After being consulted by a tower on how to actually get into the Underworld without dying, she does as was told and and it doesn’t take long for her to be greeted by Persephone. After refusing to fall into an obvious trap, Psyche told her why she was visiting her and Persephone agreed to help her without hassle - but after returning into the mortal world, Psyche’s curiosity took the better of her and she wanted to see that beauty herself. Turns out it was Stygian sleep fancy words for boxed death and Psyche drops on the ground like a rock, but at this point Eros has escaped his imprisonment goes straight to her. He draws the sleep back into the box, gently pricks her with an arrow to wake her up, the two have a heartfelt reunion and Eros brings Psyche to Olympus, asking Zeus if the two can now get properly married. Everyone agrees, Zeus tells Aphrodite to stfu and they give Psyche ambrosia, making her the goddess of soul. The two have a glorious wedding and some time after it Psyche gives birth to their daughter, either named Hedone or Volupta(s) depends if it’s a Greek or Roman telling the story, the personification of pleasure, joy and delight. I personally prefer the name Volupta, it rhymes much more nicer with rest of the family.
And since we’re at here, that gorgeous painting by John William Waterhouse that everyone thinks has Pandora wearing a pink dress? It’s actually Psyche opening the deathly beauty box. Don’t believe me? Just check Psyche opening the golden box and you see who’s right. He however did create an equally pretty painting about Pandora though.
So now when the story time finally over, what can we do with all of this info? Well, it does tell how perfect of an antagonist Aphrodite makes for an Eros-expy. She has power over him and isn’t afraid of abusing it when she feels betrayed. Compare this to the tales of Icarus and Perseus which really don’t have a main antagonists - Icarus has no personal stakes in the story because he’s a plot device rather than a character and from Daedalus’ point of view, the main antagonist is Minos but mythology doesn’t really treat him as all that horrible person. After he died he became one of the judges of the Underworld and probably sent Daedalus to Tartarus once he died, which illustrates a one seriously big missed opportunity which should’ve been used if Icarus truly was that important inspiration for Pit. Instead it just makes it even more clear how irrelevant Icarus and the narrative about the Minotaur are to KI. As for Perseus, I already talked about how Medusa is a mcguffin while alive and the other ones aren’t much better. Polydectes, Phineus and Acrisius are all dealt with so quickly that they don’t really matter - his only fight that isn’t solved by a handwave is against Cetus and it’s just a sea monster sent to kill Andromeda by Poseidon. Poseidon’s antagonistic potential is a topic I’ve already discussed and the already mentioned possible fusion of the myths of Poseidon sending a sea monster to harass Troy and Ares’ trial covers the idea of Pit saving a girl from a sea monster which is bit funny because in the former one, oracle tells that king Laomedon should let it eat his daughter Hesione to get rid of the monster, so that doesn’t really add anything new here. But with Aphrodite as the big bad it could be rather easy to craft two different but overlapping plotlines, one with a main goal and the other with a personal one. Aphrodite always was Eros’ biggest personal antagonist who treated him as a trophy child and didn’t take it well when he stepped out of the line - how dare her little doll grow up, behave like a man and then decide that he wants to move on to build a family of his own, which now takes the priority over her? Him choosing Psyche over his mother is his defining myth, with the addition of it being the myth in which he finally gains the respect of the other gods. Besides having its message about heart and soul being capable feeling and creating joy while together, it also functions as a coming of age story for its main couple - and when those stories have an antagonist, things tend get really personal.
So going back to those possible two plotlines and goals, what could they possibly be about? I’d say that the main plot line shouldn’t really be based on any myth but instead it should take advantage of her popularity among ancient people, more so when it comes to Venus and Rome. Even as a city, Rome was massive - by the time of 1st century CE it had reached the population of million people, being the first city in history to do that. And this was only the capital of the empire! Rome wasn’t build in a day indeed. Venus wasn’t worshiped by the thousands, her popularity was in the millions during this time period. That’s a lot of power for one goddess and as we all know, too much power can easily hit one in the head - especially when remembering that we’re dealing with a Pantheon composed entirely of manchildren. Give Aphrodite an empire that looks up to her, doesn’t do anything without a last world from her and you’re set with a supervillain who has it all from power to personality. In this case, the reason why Aphrodite should be stopped is that she’s a conqueror who rules by fear, saying that if she was ever abandoned she would curse them and take away all the blessings she has ever granted, leading her empire to ruin. If you want to make her feel even more villainous, don’t even give her an army of her own like Hades and Viridi had but make her use the people of the empire she rules over. There’s nothing more evil than using people who look up to you for protection for your own selfish goals. What those selfish goals may be, writers can be creative with them - maybe she wants to be viewed as the supreme goddess above everyone else, maybe she wants everyone to worship her and isn’t afraid to use extreme measures to get what she wants, maybe she wants to wipe out everyone who could be a threat to her, everything goes. Considering her role on the judgement of Paris, her causing a war or chaos for selfish reasons isn’t out of character. But whatever her reasons may be, there’s going to sparks in the air and fights of massive proportions. Ares may be Pit’s father but Aphrodite definitely isn’t his mother, so she’s not going to show him any sympathy or kindness if he gets in the way of her plans.
This would be the plotline that’s more on the background and focused on Aphrodite’s relationships with Palutena, possibly Ares and the other gods, the main goal is their goal. It’s why they want her defeated. If Palutena is anything like Athena, she can’t get along with her and she understands that allowing Aphrodite to do whatever she wants will have catastrophic consequences even if she herself couldn’t care less about those. If Ares was featured on a future game along with Aphrodite, their relationship would probably be focused on how they feel betrayed by each other. The myth of her cursing Eos illustrates how she sees their relationship open only from her end so she’s very likely still angry at him for leaving her, be it for Aerope or something else entirely. If you want to go with the depressing idea of her being the one who ordered Aloadae to kidnap him, she probably feels even more betrayed because even under mind control he didn’t come back to her like she had anticipated. And if it’s indeed her favorite ex-boytoy’s son with some other lady who has been foiling her plans, her blood quite possibly starts to boil. Ares’ feelings of betrayal would likely stem from Aphrodite trying to kill his child for no other reason than sheer pettiness, along with orchestrating his kidnapping and torture just so she could get her boytoy back. Other gods probably want her stopped for similar reasons as Palutena, maybe with some selfishness rippled in - the consequences of her actions are hurting them and because she doesn’t care, something must be done to stop her. For example, Viridi could possibly oppose Aphrodite because she doesn’t care about how she’s hurting nature on her attempts to viewed as the supreme goddess. Not to say that Pit doesn’t also care about this goal since he’s an empathetic youngster, but I think that the more personal plotline should be his and it’s goal his main motivator during the story.
As for the plotline with the more personal goal, the myth of Eros and Psyche makes the perfect outline for it. Aphrodite is already the main antagonist of the tale, so there’s no need for any massive changes when it comes to her jealousy and want to dispose Psyche. The tasks she gives to her could also be mostly unchanged, if adjusted with something that makes gameplay more immersive assuming we would get to play as her like we got to play as Dark Pit in chapter 22 in KI:U. However what needs to changed is Aphrodite’s relationship with Pit, how he and Psyche first meet and how their relationship is evolves from that point onward since following the myth to a T isn’t an option in this case. I could see Pit and Psyche’s first meeting being a result of Aphrodite’s wrath manifesting on a relatively harmless way, meaning that she already knows about this new, pretty princess that challenges her status as the supreme goddess and she’s not having any of it. As for how her wrath could manifest, it could be a your garden-variety monster attack in the first chapter disguised as someone else’s troops so no one would suspect it was her behind it. The sheer weirdness of it could catch Palutena’s attention so she sends Pit down to investigate it and to get rid of the monsters. While getting rid of them, he meets Psyche in one way or another - maybe she’s trying to escape from them or she’s trying to fight against them, either way Pit comes to her aid and they befriend each other. Maybe she’s featured on a few following chapters as minor character doing something on the background, giving them more possibilities to interact and become better friends - in these chapters Apollo could possibly be introduced along with reintroducing Poseidon, to foreshadow the roles they would play later on. What side plots would these chapters have, it could anything - maybe Pit meets Ares for the first time at this point of the story, but he’s not freed from mind control just yet.
At this point Aphrodite could be getting more angrier but she doesn’t want to out herself as the main villain yet, so she crafts a plan that would eventually lead into Poseidon hating Pit into the point of him wanting to take things into the court. Maybe she tricks Poseidon and Apollo into becoming mad at Psyche’s home city for whatever reason, like how they got angry at Troy in mythology proper. If this was the case, I think that she would keep Poseidon in the dark while letting Apollo fully know what’s going on - if Poseidon doesn’t know the true reason why Aphrodite wanted his sea monster to terrorize the city and why it was killed, he would be much more enraged when it happens. I’ve already established reasons as for why Apollo would dislike Pit, so he probably wouldn’t really need any prompting to cause Pit suffering since he’d still want some payback from that embarrassing noodle incident. So Poseidon sends his sea monster to terrorize the coastline and once citizens start asking help from the gods, Apollo lets the hate flow through him and offers nothing useful - instead he tells them to take the Hesione/Andromeda-approach and let it eat someone to calm it down oh look, it’s a reference to Perseus that’s not about Medusa for once, nice. In this case, it would be Psyche and Pit’s of course not going to let his friend die so he goes to save her, be it with or without Palutena’s approval. In my head I did imagine this as a chapter that would work amazingly with multiplayer, starting with Pit and Dark Pit distracting the monster, then Pit freeing Psyche and them setting out to kill the monster before it causes more harm. Player 2 would have to deal with changing characters on the fly but if Pittoo and Psyche had similar weapons, I don’t think it would be too distracting since they’d be playable on different parts of the chapter. But once the monster has finally been defeated, the joy is cut short by Poseidon interrupting and wanting vengeance for what happened to his monster, ending the chapter. The plot would immediately catch on the next one and what I could see happening on this chapter is that Pit’s taken into the court by Poseidon and he’s not allowed to have anyone defending him, but Dark Pit and Psyche go into his defense anyway Pittoo being the playable character. After a long and treacherous journey they find they way to the divine courthouse and tell their point of view on the events, which gives Pit the sympathy of the court and he gets away scot-free. Poseidon and Apollo may face on consequences at this point and they may even rat Aphrodite out on a subtle way, but the main group doesn’t catch it.
The following few chapters would be breathers before the plot kicks in again, Aphrodite ousting herself as the big bad in one way or another. Maybe she has sent her troops to attack some place, possibly in search for Ares since he would make a great ally on this brainwashed state. Much to her dismay he declines her offers, he and Pit fight and the helmet is smashed, but Palutena recalls Pit before anything can come out of it. The fight continues for couple following chapters, Palutena and Aphrodite are gradually getting more and more mad at each other and maybe she comes down to face Pit herself because the little brat getting on her way is starting to be really annoying now this would make a pretty cool unwinnable boss fight, but Ares comes just in time save him - que silent, cold anger between them, confusion from Pit and Palutena’s end with some extremely awkward reunions and explanations.
What could follow from here is another set more lighter chapters focused less on Aphrodite’s plans to become the supreme goddess and more of the cast getting to know each other better - Palutena and Ares reconnecting, Ares trying to form a meaningful relationship with Pit and Dark Pit, Pit and Psyche becoming better friends, etc etc. Not to say Aphrodite has given up on her plans - she’s still doing things on the background, but it’s implied that what little chaos she currently causes is serving as distraction to hide her bigger plans. Persephone could possibly be introduced at this point of the story, making it clear that she knows about the events of KI:U and that she’s going to get her payback on what happened to Hades in one way or another, possibly drop an implication that she’s working together with Aphrodite. But since everything good comes to an end and so do the breather episodes, plot would go on with Aphrodite kidnapping Pit and getting Persephone to throw him into some dark part of the Underworld, maybe even to Tartarus. And now we get into the fun part of the myth, Psyche’s four tasks!
I could see the plot separating into two directions from here on, first one being Pit’s great prison escape from wherever Persephone threw him into and the second one being the titular four tasks. The prison escape is more focused on traversing the Underworld and Pit trying get out of there while Persephone throws all kinds of obstacles at him - maybe it ends with a ghost gauntlet, since Odyssey illustrated that she can summon ghosts. Arke would make a pretty great boss fight here as well, since she could be classified as a fallen angel. Maybe her motive for going after Pit is to get his wings for herself as a mean to escape, since her own ones were ripped off as punishment for siding with the Titans. But since Pit’s a brave boy, this isn’t enough to stop him and he eventually finds his way out so there could be reunion and a final battle against Persephone.
While Pit’s great prison break is going on, Aphrodite makes an empty promise to rest of the cast that she can give Pit back, with some conditions - but just like in the myth, all she actually wants is Psyche’s death so the danger factor is amped up to eleven. I honestly don’t know how the one about sorting grains could be handled I guess it could work as a puzzle chapter, but the rest work rather well without massive changes. The one about gathering te golden fleas could now take a more direct approach, the one about getting Styx’s water is now missing the helpful eagle and the Underworld trip is largely same with the exception of Persephone not being cooperative. This would be the point where the two plotlines merge together and they take Persephone down together before leaving from the Underworld. Psyche falling for Stygian sleep in this version is up to debate, I say it could work either way. It mostly depends on when she’s going to wake up - if it’s too early it might as well not matter, if it’s after the final battle I’d say that’s too late.
As one might expect Pit’s escape makes Aphrodite furious and she challenges him into a one final battle - that brat has stolen her favorite boytoy from her, satisfaction of getting rid of the annoying princess and also her chances to become the supreme goddess way too many times, she has reached her third-act breakdown and at this point she has nothing left to lose anymore. Ares isn’t going to come back to her, Psyche is not going to die and the people under her empire have started to become less dependent of her, the last thing she can do is get rid the troublesome kid that brought her into this situation. Of course Pit ends up winning, sending the goddess to Aether to hang with Hades where they can now together sulk over the fact that they got defeated by an angel. Pit triumphantly returns to Skyworld where Palutena and others have been waiting, there’s a joyful reunion between all of them and if one wants to follow the original myth at this point, Psyche could gain divinity or immortality for her bravery for standing against Aphrodite as a mere mortal. People have become immortals for dumber reasons in Greco-Roman mythology, so at least Psyche doesn’t become immortal merely because one god thought she was pretty. Have some little banter at the end between the cast and then credits can finally roll in.
When thinking of some nice bonus content, maybe there could be a secret ending player can unlock after beating all the chapters on a certain difficulty, which confirms that everyone is doing well. If we have to deal with another long hiatus that could last for decade or two or eternity, best the game can offer is closure. Pit doesn’t have to a married man with a daughter, but at least show that he’s doing well and ready for a new adventure or that he has had many of those under his belt at this point. All one can do is hope at this point that there will be a new adventure or a happy ending that ties all the loose ends together. Praise Volupta, maybe one day dreams can come true.
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Welp, this turned out to be much more longer and heavier than I originally expected! If nothing else, that would make an interesting fanfic. Anyway, I think I made my point clear - Aphrodite has everything a big bad needs from power to personality and motives to harass the already existing KI-cast. Even if you don’t want to go with the ideas I came up with, there’s so many myths to use and modify in which she could fill the role of the main villain. And just because there’s heavy themes it doesn’t mean it has to be without humor - I mean, there’s a lot of heavy implications in KI:U yet the game still manages to be a comedy gold mine despite those heavy implications. Writers just need to know when to be serious and when levity is needed, good pacing is something that every great story needs. For some reason I could definitely see there being a gag in which Pandora has regained her true form, only for Aphrodite to snatch it away because Pandora was living on borrowed beauty anyway and she’d like to have it back.
Though I must say that I’m proud of all of these plot bunnies I came up with. It was a fun journey to me to research, overthink, adapt and mix myths while trying to imagine who could be the next possible big bad and what the plotline relating to their villainy could be. And I came out wiser from it, so I really can’t be angry over it even if it took so me so much longer than I originally planned. I never thought that me wanting to write about a Nintendo game would make me read this much about history and philosophy yet here I am. Also now when I’m thinking of it, that last one would tie a lot of threads nicely together if they had a plotline like it on a future game - Poseidon gets to be an antagonist, Apollo gets to be an antagonist, Persephone gets to be an antagonist and Aphrodite gets to be the villain. It’s so nice when things work out this well together! Dionysus is left out though, but I guess it’s not all that bad because having too many antagonists would make the plot feel overly complicated.
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed my thoughts of who could replace Hades as the big bad. You can’t change my mind on Aphrodite being the best possible candidate but if you disagree with me, who do you think it could be? I’m always open for discussion so feel free to talk with me. Now there’s only one question remaining on my head - if a future Kid Icarus game had Arachne, would she be a jorōgumo?
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atqh16 · 6 years ago
Text
Dear Friend, Forgive Me Where I'm Weak
Summary
Foggy has always known that there was a risk of Matt's enemies coming for him and using him against his best friend. He just wishes he wasn't sick with Cancer when they did. Inspired by the 2011 Mark Waid Daredevil run (Chapter 30#). Where the Matt's enemies show up to torture Foggy for information while he's undergoing chemotherapy in the hospital.
Matt Murdock & Foggy Nelson
Angst, Whump. Hurt/Comfort, Cancer, Chemotherapy, Foggy!Whump
AO3
Foggy opens his eyes to a blonde man in a coat inspecting the machines near his electrocardiogram monitor. He's unfamiliar but that doesn't really rankle up his nerves till he sees the man pull out a syringe and starts fiddling with the tube of his saline bag and intravenous chemo drip.
"Doctor?" He calls out carefully, mind heavy with sleep but still wary from the last time an unfamiliar man in a coat holding a syringe - sent by Bullseye of all people- had almost killed him a few days before in that very same room. "Sorry but I've never really seen you around here. The nurse usually tells me when they're about to add anything to my usual drip. To warn me ya know? Did I miss a memo or-"
The man doesn't even bother to turn and face him. Instead proceeding to place the needle of the syringe into his injection port. "It's alright Mr. Nelson. No need to be alarmed. This is merely a supplement", he says as if that was enough to explain everything.
The words induce the opposite of a calming effect on him and Foggy frowns. "An anti-emetic?", he pushes suspiciously. But 'Blondie' doesn't answer. Instead 2 other men in Black suits enter into his room and close the door behind them with a click of the lock.
Foggy's alarm bells  are fully ringing now and he reaches for the emergency call button but doesn't hear the usual beep when he presses it. His heart starts to drum in his ribs. The nausea that had already been creeping up his throat from the chemo treatment starts to edge even higher, combined with the fear that was setting a slight tremble at his fingertips. He wishes more than anything right now that Matt would show up for one of his surprise visits. Even though he knows visiting hours had ended an hour ago.
"Who are you? What do you want?" His voice sharp despite the fog of panic. Turning his head from the men in the suits to the man in the coat -regretting it immediately at the throbbing pain of his aching neck muscles- though not really expecting an answer. His hand creeps cautiously under his blanket for his phone, groping around uselessly before realizing-
"Mr Nelson there's no need to be alarmed as long as you cooperate," one of the men - Mr short and pudgy- says. His voice comes out a harsh, gravelly tone and Foggy half expects him to pull out a stick and yell at kids to 'get off his damn lawn!'
"We're merely here to ask you to clarify certain allegations against your friend, Mr Murdock and other accusations concerning his 'nightly outings'. If you answer our questions we'll leave you to your treatment with no harm done before the hour is even up," he continues. The statement sounds reasonable enough but the 'if you don't' still hangs threateningly in the air.
Foggy immediately realizes what this is about and his hands ball up the rough hospital sheets in his fists.
"You're the Sons of Serpents" Foggy says, eyes narrowing when none of them deny it. He racks his brain for all the information he's read up on them and what Matt had told him before. He's never met them in person or been in their cross fires in the past. But he's researched enough of their history to know they're nothing but bad news. A racially motivated group doing everything to gain and maintain power and cruelly dispatching anyone in their way. Particularly those who they thought didn't look the way they felt 'people' should look. They were basically the new Nazi propaganda hell bent on spreading their influence all across the globe. Matt simply called them racists trash and frankly from what Foggy's found in his own research, he couldn't agree more.
"If you think I'm going to give you any information willy nilly then you've got the wrong guy. In fact I'm pretty sure we've already proved what you're suggesting as bullshit half a dozen times in court already"
Mr pudgy creeps closer to his bed and it takes all of Foggy's control not to cringe away.
The man brandishes a thick file in his hand the same way Foggy had expected him to do to his proverbial stick.
"Mr Nelson lets not play that game. We both know the truth. Let's skip the pleasantries and commence to the meat of the matter shall we? And don't bother trying to scream for help. We have people in the building to aid us in redirecting any unwanted intrusion" He says with a condescending tone and a disdainful expression on his face and Foggy finds himself paying closer attention to his unwanted visitor.
The man's suit is impeccable and almost impossibly taut with not a wrinkle in sight. He reeks of an offensive -and obviously expensive- cologne that makes Foggy's nausea claw higher up his throat the closer he gets.
But worse of all - at this proximity- Foggy can't help but see a coldness in his eyes that reminds him of ruthless men who would do anything and everything to get what they want.
The thought sends a cold chill down his spine and he can't seem to hold back the resulting shudder.
It's not that he's never faced with anything like them before. Matt's infamous repertoire of villains have ensured that Foggy has had more than his fair share of being in the presence of merciless and remorseless men who would do the unthinkable with a snap of their fingers and a turn of their wrists without even a hesitant flinch. These men have nothing on Wilson Fisk and he's stood in front of the Kingpin himself and survived and he damn well wasn't going to be intimidated by these borderline ridiculous and literal 'Men in black'.
But as he attempts so sit up to meet the man eye to eye a jolt shoots up his spine like a serrated bullet and he can't help the the choked gasp he emits at the pain.
The effect immediately reminds him of how defenseless he really is at the moment from his cancer and it's subsequent hellish treatment. He holds his breath and finds himself noticing even more how exhausted he really is. The muscle of his fingers were already throbbing from their earlier exertion, frail and weak. He can barely move his limbs without a sharp ache in his joints and the ever present twist and pull of his stomach had nothing to do with the men in the room.
Vertigo edges at his line of sight, daring him to turn his head like he did before and his already labored breathing quickens at realizing that this wasn't a confrontation he could fight.
And frustration welled up in him at the thought because even in life and death situations in the past, he had always been comforted by the thought that Matt's enemies would have to face him kicking and screaming if they wanted to put him down.
Foggy is not a brave man. He's never had any illusion that he was. He's a pacifist at heart and even despite that, fear has always been such a strong fixture of his identity that it practically runs in his veins.
Between a villain and his best friend he's always understood that his place is set permanently behind Matt because he knows his limitations. Understands that words have always been his choice of weaponry over a physical fight and he wields them just as well if not better than Matt does his fists.
But lying there now on his hospital bed with toxins and the equivalent of poison spreading in his system he knows instantly that it won't be enough. This isn't a battle he can fight against and most likely not one he can dream of winning.
And nothing tightens the chill around his heart more than the thought that he was at risk of giving these man any thread of leverage against his best friend.
But he'll be damned if he was going to make it any easier on them anyway.
He knows he's not exactly an impressive picture of defiance, especially with his aborted attempt at pulling himself up. Regardless, he meets the man eye to eye as well as he could. Daring him to do his worst.
"Fuck off" he spits out
The other man - Mr tall and oily (seriously, he looks like he lathers a tub of grease on his head every morning)- raises an eyebrow at his ensuing determined silence and nods towards the man In the coat.
Foggy spares a glance to the side to see him pull out another syringe to inject into his port.
It takes a while and Foggy even indulges in the idea that it hadn't worked before suddenly his muscles are contracting against his will and he barely holds back a gasp behind clenched teeth.
What happens after that is this. They place the file on his over bed table and asks questions with every sheet they pull out. Every 5 minutes where he doesn't cooperate another vial of the substance is shot through his system. The pain increases at a sluggish pace but it's effect is potent. They continue to ask him questions, shifting through the papers all the while and it alarms him how much they already know about Matt. Everything from newspaper articles about his incident, his father's career and death and even his medical records from his first hospitalization at nine years old to his last most recent visit this year. It dawns on him after a while that they weren't there to ask for information but instead for confirmation. To make sure what they already uncovered was 100%  true and the only reason they were even bothering to do so would be because they needed to ensure that what they had would hold up under inspection and the only reason they would be so thorough about that was if they planned on bringing up those same documents in court or publication. They weren't just trying to find Matt's weakness. They were going after his credibility. His integrity. Even his livelihood if it was enough to get him disbarred or jailed. And most likely it would.
He's not even sure if he says a word to them. The pain is literally blinding with how often his eyes threaten to roll up into his skull and breathing feels like drawing air through a straw.
After a while he notices that the men weren't even facing him and were instead studying his heart monitor, taking notes every time a question made his heat rate spike.
It's sometime after the seventh injection that he finally lets out a shout, though it comes out more a sob. The machines beside him all begin to beep their warnings and he can hear hurried shuffling and voices in the corridor outside his room from what he hopes to be one nurse to the other.
'God please. Please. Help me. Someone help me please' Foggy can't help but beg in his mind.
But the men in front of him don't seem to be apprehensive at the possibility of attracting attention. Instead taking their time to leisurely shuffle and arrange their papers and closing their file with a muffled flip.
"We are done here I think. Thank you for your help Mr Nelson. It was much appreciated. And don't worry, we won't let you die yet. Keeping you alive is very much in our best interest"
And just like that they were gone but Foggy barely notices. Every nerve and muscle in his body is on fire and his heart is thumping like a drum in his ears. He would scream if his throat wasn't so dry and even then he can almost feel the lining of it threaten to tear at his effort. Though he finds himself more preoccupied with how it had become even harder to pull enough air into his lungs for a single breath.
He's suffocating. He can't breath!
'This is it', the pain submerges his thoughts into mass panic. 'I'm going to die. I'm going to die like this. I won't see Matt again. This is how it ends'
The door finally bursts open and a flow of attendants and nurses hurried into the room, calling out instructions he can't bring up the strength to try and understand. The last thing he sees before the darkness finally takes him is the blonde man in the coat standing in front of his bed, watching him before everything goes black.
Awareness struggles at the periphery of  his consciousness. Pulling him back to the surface at the sound of Matt's voice. There are other people in the room and it takes him a while to recognize them as the men from before. Matt sounds tense and furious but everything is too muffled for Foggy to understand their conversation.
Having Matt so near at his side is enough for him to feel safe and relaxed especially when it became obvious that Matt was standing protectively between Foggy and their unwanted visitors. But there's a guilty nudge inside him when his mind becomes present enough to understand what was being said. Recognizing the men bringing up the same information from before. Allowing him to comprehend enough of the situation to know that these men were already starting to use the info they have against his best friend. Possibly to black mail him to do what they want. Things Matt might decide to do just so he could protect Foggy and their other friends because if nothing else Matt will always try his hardest to protect those around him even at his own detriment. His too kind and compassionate heart never being able to bear the thought of anyone being hurt and god Foggy hates what it does to his friend but he's known him for too long to not understand. And he can feel tears welling on his eyelids to know that these men were using that same compassion - and the information they've had Foggy unwillingly confirm - against him.
'Matt. Matt I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I tried to fight. I tried so hard. I tried not to tell them anything I swear! I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.' Foggy tries to say but his tongue feels thick and heavy behind his teeth. Either way the mask over his mouth and nose stifle any sound he manages to make and it's only when he hears the men making their way to the door and closing it with a familiar click, that he manages to inch shaking fingers to wrap around the wrist Matt is resting on the bed beside him.
Matt snaps around to face him. His hand twisting so both his and foggy's are holding each other wrist to wrist while the other flits from Foggy's shoulder and upward to gently cup his cheek.
"Foggy?", Matt's voice is a mix of apprehension and relief. There's also a mournful hint in his tone. "Hey buddy. Hey are you with me? Should I call the nurse? Jesus Christ, your skin is so cold. I can barely hear your pulse Fog."
Foggy looks up, trying to nod and convey that he was alright without speaking. His eyes scour his friends face and he can't help but notice how red and flustered Matt looks with his auburn hair sticking in sweaty clumps on his forehead as if he'd ran all the way to the hospital. His black tie that he kept in his office for emergencies hung loose under his collar as if he hadn't really bothered to tie it properly and the tense, stiff stance that he had when Foggy first woke up, melts away and his broad shoulders hung loose from exhaustion.
He looked worn out. Stretched thin. The last time Foggy had seen him so overwhelmed was when Fisk had burned down his home and had him disbarred. He can't help but frown, wonderingly worriedly what the men could have said to his friend to make him look so defeated.
But then Matt bows his head, choking back tears and Foggy realizes that it wasn't what the men had said, but what Matt though they had done that really had him shaking.
"I'm so sorry Foggy. I was in the suit when the nurses called. They said you were in pain. They said you might not- I thought- I thought I'd lost you. I couldn't hear your heart beat. I couldn't- I was terrified. I came as fast as I could. I'm so sorry I wasn't here. You asked me for one thing. You asked me to be here and I wasn't and I'm so sorry Fog." Matt's chest began to heave with gentle sobs
With as much force as he could muster, Foggy tightened his grip on Matt's wrist in what he hopes is a soothing gesture. He wishes he could do more, but simply opening his eyelids felt like lifting weights. He could only hope that Matt would understand what he was trying to say
'It's ok'
'I understand'
'The city needed you'
'Please stay'
'I tried. I'm so sorry'
'It hurt Matt. Everything still hurts'
'I'm so scared Matt. I thought I was going to die. I thought I'd never see you again'
'I'm still afraid that I'm going to die. Who would've thought cancer would be the way I go huh?'
'I'm so scared of leaving you Matty. I don't want to leave you'
Maybe it works because Matt leans even closer, resting his head gently on Foggy's other shoulder. Foggy struggles and manages to pull his free hand to rest on his friends back even though such a small movement already made his muscles ache even worse.
It takes him a while before he can manage to get his hand up and pull the mask down off his lips.
Matt immediately moved to put it back, "Foggy don't-"
"Matt. What did-" *cough * "what did they want? What- what did they ask for?"
Matt looks stricken and Foggy knew he was torn between keeping his sick friend in the dark or unloading it all on his best friend. Knowing full well that the former was something Foggy hated.
So he takes the middle road.
"You're still exhausted Fog," he soothes. Gently putting the mask back in it's place. One hand moving to the back of Foggy's very bald head and leaning forward to place a gentle kiss on his forehead. An intimate gesture that he rarely did but one they both sorely needed after the terrifying experience they just had.
"Go to sleep Foggy. I'll tell you when you wake up." Matt says reassuringly, pulling Foggy's blanket just a little higher.
"Promise?" Foggy whispers behind the mask. Eyes already starting to close but knowing that Matt heard him.
"I promise" Matt replies, bringing up a finger to cross an 'X' over his hearts. It's the last thing he see's and hear's before Foggy falls in a deep peaceful sleep. Comforted at the idea that as long as Matt was around, he'd be safe.
This was inspired by a scene we didn't get to see in the 2011 Mark Waid run. It's an amazing Daredevil comic and my ultimate favorite and I fully encourage anyone who loves Daredevil to read it. Especially if you love reading about the dynamic between Matt and Foggy. Here's the link for anyone who's interested.
https://readcomiconline.to/Comic/Daredevil-2011
Or you can just google 'Daredevill 2011 Read Online'
I dont really encourage piracy but where I'm from some of these comics are impossible to get.
I also fully encourage reading the continuation also by Mark Waid in the 2014 Daredevil run
https://readcomiconline.to/Comic/Daredevil-2014
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recentanimenews · 6 years ago
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THE GREAT CRUNCHYROLL NARUTO REWATCH Unleashes Sakura With Episodes 29-35
Welcome to THE GREAT CRUNCHYROLL NARUTO REWATCH! I'm Daniel Dockery aka That Dude That Won't Shut Up About One Piece, and I'll be your host this week as we make our way through all 220 episodes of the original Naruto. Last week, we covered episodes 22-28, and we continue this week with episodes 29-35.
  This week, the theme is Naruto Minus Naruto, as we lose our title character pretty early on. But despite missing someone shouting about how they're gonna be Hokage one day, this actually seemed to work out pretty well, as it gave our favorite boy Rock Lee and the consistently underrated Sakura a time to shine. Sasuke did some stuff, too, I guess. We also got some bad guy reveals and Gaara being as Gaara as possible. So let's dive right in and let the Crunchyroll Features team give you their thoughts on a batch of episodes that didn't have an ounce of quit in them. 
  So, not a lot of Naruto in this set of episodes, huh? I mean, we've already gotten to know Sasuke, Sakura, Rock Lee, etc. pretty well so far, so it's not like they can't carry the story, but how do you like the show when the title character spends most of it unconscious?
Paul: I'm fine with it as long as the supporting characters have plenty of interesting things to do. Naruto's personal blend of lunk-headed enthusiasm hasn't really clicked with me yet, so I'm happy to see other characters take center stage now and then, and I like that Sakura finally got a moment to prove her mettle in these episodes.
  Peter: This was probably Sakura's biggest moment in Naruto... possibly including Shippuden. I forgot they combined her special haircut scene with the Ino flashback. The whole situation with the sound ninja was kind of a cluster but I felt like that sequence was particularly well-done. Episode 30 is easily the best in the series so far, I forgot how well directed the moment where Sakura realizes she's alone is.
  Danni: I've joked in my livetweets that I can't tell whether the main character of this show is Naruto or Sasuke yet, but that kind of became not a joke at all this time around, didn't it? That was kind of a shame, given that his material at the very beginning of this batch where he's chiding Sasuke is great. Luckily, the rest of the cast was great all around in this batch.
  Noelle: It is pretty funny to have the protagonist absent, but it's clearly not just wasting time. A lot of stuff happens while Naruto is out cold, especially the big fight where Sakura shines, and she needed to shine! A protagonist doesn't have to be there all the time, even if they are carrying the story, and these segments are proof of that.
  Jared: Having Naruto out for most of the episodes really made some other characters step up and gave them a time to shine like Sakura (finally) and Ino's group. You couldn't get away with having him be gone or KO'd all the time, but especially when the show just brought forth all these new characters, it worked.
  Kevin: It actually helped to up the stakes a bit and create space for more character development. Sakura hasn't needed to do much until now, since Sasuke and Naruto could fight instead. In this set of episodes, the boys were unconscious the majority of the time, so not only did she need to push herself to look after them, but she also needed to fight opponents that even seasoned Genin like Lee couldn't stand up against. Running or hiding weren't options.
  Carolyn: THIS is the Sakura I remembered and have been missing this whole time. I am fine with Naruto sitting out a spell so Sakura can rise.
    David: While I like that the other characters are getting the spotlight, I'm also not a huge fan of how they're getting it. Lee? He's allowed to be cool for a little bit, but still has to be undermined by his limitations that also define his character. Sakura? We have to square getting her development with her entire character revolving around Sasuke. Oh, and Sasuke? Got cool powers from the new bad guy, so the whole thing feels a little artificial by the end.
  Joseph: It kind of makes it seem like they just didn't know what to do with Naruto while other people have the spotlight, because knowing his character he would have to butt in no matter what, dattebayo! If it paves the way for more episodes like 30, which features out of this world choreography and animation, I'm all for it, dattebayo.
  Kara: I'm a Doctor Who fan - having the lead unconscious or straight-up missing for major portions of story is familiar territory. That said, I'm glad it was used to good effect here. I was hesitant coming into the Chunin Exam arc because there are Just So Many Characters, and a lot of them are completely new but clearly important. Giving Nart some down time while we get to know how they work (and how characters we've seen before are growing) was a good idea.
  These episodes are sort of bookended by two horrific reveals:
1) IT WAS ME, OROCHIMARU, THE WHOLE TIME
2)WTF, GAARA
How do you feel about these two? I've been playing a lot of Gaara in Jump Force, but I forgot that he pretty much opens his character arc in the show through intense murder.
Paul: I mentioned this on Twitter before, but although Orochimaru is clearly coded to be this big, scary, impressive villain, he strikes me as the ninja equivalent of that bad friend whom everybody kinda knows but nobody particularly likes. Orochimaru's the kind of guy who would get a little too drunk at the holiday ninja party, and then he'd awkwardly hit on your ninja girlfriend, and then he'd puke on your ninja couch cushion and then flip it over to hide the ninja vomit rather than tell you about it. Damn it, Orochimaru!
Gaara is just a comical murder-baby so far. Again, I know he's supposed to be frightening, but I just think he's a precious little sandy cinnamon roll.
  Peter: Given what Orochimaru's done so far, I'm actually curious if Kishimoto had a plan for him at this point. One of this lines in particular speaking with Anko is hilarious in retrospect. I have a new appreciation for Temari and Kankuro. The scene where they were trying to get Gaara to calm down was particularly good. You got a sense of how desperate and afraid they are of Gaara. Also I don't remember Orochimaru using so many... wind ki blasts? I think Kishimoto wasn't sure what powers he had yet.
  Danni: I'm a little disappointed that my perfect snake wife was just a creepy old snake man in disguise. I'm honestly more terrified of Gaara right now. Orochimaru seems like he actually has a plan. Gaara just seems a bit...unhinged...
    Noelle: I definitely agree with Peter, where Orochimaru in his introduction definitely wasn't as cohesive power-wise, as opposed to the snakes and more snakes that he becomes later. He is set up to be extremely threatening, but at this point, it's definitely more potential than it is factual. As for Gaara, Gaara is one of my faves, even if he starts out as a murder machine. The murder does not stop my appreciation for him. You go, Gaara.
  Jared: Now I want a redub of those scenes with Orochimaru except with the Higher Power reveal audio. They certainly make him seem to be a big deal, although it's still relatively shrouded in mystery. Gaara's showing fell incredibly flat for me. Unlike when we first saw him where he had this mysterious aura about him, this just felt like he was made to be the ultimate edgelord. Which if the folks above me are indicating, he gets better, so hopefully that happens sooner rather than later.
  Kevin: For both of them, I feel like their introductions worked well to establish them as serious threats. Orochimaru as a somewhat unknown quantity that even the adults are scared of, while Gaara is a coldblooded Genin that doesn't bat an eye at killing people, to the point that even his teammates fear for their lives when around him. For Orochimaru though, I can't remember any actual reason why he's actually in the Chunin Exam. We'll get to future events in later installments, but why bother actually joining the Genin?
  Carolyn: I remember loving Orochimaru the first time I watched the show and thinking he was a major villain. They certainly set him to seem that way. I'm interested to see if my thoughts on that change as we progress. I also remember thinking Gaara was quite impressive and mysterious, though he was never a favorite character of mine. Rewatching the show, they definitely hype up his skills.
  David: Gaara having a team that is scared of him is significantly more scary than Orochimaru's clear long-term threat foundation going on here. It's kind of cheating but I think this matters a lot for how impactful this ends up being very soon, whereas Orochimaru's threat is much more broad and lore-spanning in the grand scheme of things.
  Joseph: Between Orochimaru, cursed Sasuke, and Gaara, there's so much DANGER in these eps. I love it!
    Kara: Holy crow, things got dark. I'm not saying that as a negative, either. I'll be curious to see what happens with Orochimaru, because that's some high-stakes stuff that got thrown into the mix. I had a feeling Gaara was gonna make Sasuke look like a ray of sunshine by comparison, but I'm with Akamaru on that whole situation.
  If you had to get into intense anime battles in your actual, half-anime life, and you had to copy a Naruto character's techniques, whose style would you use?
Paul: I will continue to stan for my main man, Choji Akimichi, and his ability to transform into the boulder from Raiders of the Lost Ark. Also, they never kill the chubby comic relief characters, so my plot armor would keep me safe from harm but not from embarrassment.
Peter: I feel like the correct answer is Gaara since you can just stand in place writing poems while sand kills people. Practically I think it's hard to argue that Sasuke doesn't have the most "ninja-like" style incorporating the three "jutsus" and leaning heavily on misdirection and outmaneuvering. Each requires having a pretty particular thing though, so it's kind of a lottery by birth.
Danni: Probably Orochimaru. Less for his actual fighting techniques and more because his Mr. Fantastic powers could come in handy when lounging around the house.
Noelle: Gaara's, having sand do my bidding would be pretty neat, and it's not like I sleep much anyway.
Jared: Rock Lee's techniques are what basically what I imagined myself when I was younger when thinking of having anime type fights.
Kevin: I would probably go for the Sharingan, largely due to how versatile it is. It gives amazing kinetic vision, allowing the user to dodge more and land more hits, lets them copy any ninjutsu the enemy uses, can make [REDACTED], or [REDACTED] or even summon [REDACTED], and that's without even getting into the unique abilities from [REDACTED]! Basically, it allows for a lot of flexible techniques, and just with the slight drawback of [REDACTED].
  Carolyn: Ooh, can I redact stuff, too? My favorite hasn't happened yet. Have I mentioned how much I love Shikamaru?
  David: Is it wrong to want to be Sasuke just because he gets the most well-animated fight scenes? I want to be as cool as he is in those.
  Joseph: I've always been a fan of the Shadow Imitation Technique of the Nara clan. I think this is the first time we've seen it in the anime, but throughout the manga I always found it awesome whenever, BAM, someone found themselves ensared out of nowhere.
  Kara: Gonna have to say Ino and the body-hopping. I'm so clumsy, the only way I'll ever effectively beat someone up is if I project into them and beat myself up.
So, Sakura gets a few cool minutes in Episode 32. I especially like the reveal that it wasn't a substitution and that she was actually dropping on Zaku and gutting through those Kunai. However, it's kind of mired in a lot of flashback and a weird "How does my face look?" backstory. How did you feel about it? I will say, for a little bit, I got hyped. Bleeding Sakura descending like Batman on this goon is a dope visual.
Paul: I'm glad Sakura finally got a chance to shine, and I didn't feel that the drama of the scene was terribly undercut by her childhood anxieties about having such an enormous forehead. It contextualizes some of her earlier, snappish behavior, and I was impressed with her growth as a character when she expressed a genuine desire to protect Naruto and when she offered Rock Lee her heartfelt thanks.
Peter: I'm kind of two minds on this watching it for the second time. If anything I feel like her dramatic move was undercut by the fact that there were two more Leaf squads that could have stepped in acting as a sort of safety net rather than anything actually relying on her. That said, I think the balance between her efforts in the moment and Ino remembering the extremely dumb stupid kid reason they stopped being friends was great.
Danni: I adored it. A woman's body in media is often portrayed as a priceless work of art. It's an object whose fragile beauty is meant to be fawned over and protected. The slightest mark of imperfection is detrimental to the whole piece. This either leads to strong women whose bodies remain unscathed or weak women whose bodies exist to be tragically violated. Seeing Sakura use her own body as both a weapon and a shield in this fight was nothing less than refreshing. She cast aside the beauty of her long hair, took three kunai to the body in order to get closer than her target, straight up sunk her teeth into him like a wild animal, and took a beating without flinching or letting go. It was so incredibly refreshing to see a woman actually fight with her whole body rather than an objectified version of one.
  Noelle: This is Sakura's big awesome moment, and she nailed it. She doesn't have signature jutsu like Naruto's clones or Sasuke's fire - all she really has are perfected versions of the basics. That she's able to use her intellect to her advantage; setting traps, tricking her opponents, it works for her character. The fact that she is unyielding is fantastic, considering that in a lot of anime fight scenes featuring women it it's rarely conveyed just how brutal they can get. Sakura's desperately fighting, and she will take kunai and even bite her opponents if it means she can help her friends. It's rough, messy, and great. Let girls have brawls too!
Jared: I'm a huge fan of the "cutting your hair to signify a big change" trope, so I was incredibly excited to see it here. This moment for Sakura was essentially what I'd been waiting for this entire time with her and it delivered. I was kind of surprised how much backstory we got here, but I think it fit well with everything that was happening around them with Sakura and Ino. Everything about how she attacks Zaku felt like she was desperately doing anything she could to survive, which included things like biting and not letting go. Plus, I'm surprised they showed her bloodied up.
Kevin: To put it this way, Sakura faking out Zaku is both my highest and lowest point of the week. I love that we finally got to see her fight and even out think her opponent, and I was even okay with seeing Ino struggle with their history when deciding how to act, seeing her friend-turned-rival in trouble. They probably could have cut one or two of the flashbacks and lost nothing from the storytelling though.
  Carolyn: I actually loved the flashbacks explaining her desire for long hair to impress Sasuke and her rivalry for his heart mixed in with Sakura being an awesome fighter. We saw where she came from and we see where she's headed. Her cutting off her hair (epic) was not just a clever tactic, it was her moving past her fickle, shallow priorities and stepping up. (And incidentally, finally winning Sasuke's respect.) I liked that contrast and I thought it made her powerful moments more meaningful.
  David: I don't like how being feminine was presented so constantly as a negative thing in the lead up to her 'level up', especially because it got immediately followed up by a line from Shikamaru to Choji about how they need to be the 'men' of the situation. I also don't like how it didn't end up even really helping the situation, but Sasuke's unintentional powerup did. I do like how the story clearly realized how drastically it was underutilizing its main female characters and tried to rectify that as well as it could within the characterization it had already established for them. So, basically, I like that it ended up where it was, but I wish it didn't have to do that in the first place.
  Joseph: Sakura's moment makes up for a lot of her inaction in previous episodes. It made it feel like a much more significant turn, and I think it's another great argument for the power of anime adaptations in taking certain aspects of the source material to the next level. I would also be remiss not to mention how major of a role she played in stopping Sasuke after he awakened to some straight-up Final Fantasy IV midi cover music.
  Kara: Sakura's characterization grew three sizes this week! Normally I have nothing against romance or a crush being a motivator (people in the real world act that way sometimes), but I was getting second-hand embarrassment whenever everyone and their mother used her emotions against her because she was that much of an open book. She was seriously dope in episode 32, and I do like that she didn't drop her feelings so much as compartmentalize them. Was it perfect? No. Was it better than what we've seen for the last few weeks? Very much. Plus we've spent so much time being told she knows her stuff, it was nice to see it in action.
  If you've read the manga, how do you feel about the pacing of the anime at this point?
Peter: I appreciate they're not trying to draw things out, past a few recap episodes. The only real filler we've gotten was a few more social scenes that ultimately helped build up the individual Team 7 members more so I'm good with them. Visually the series uses the manga as a direct roadmap the majority of the time but the departures, like in Naruto's fight against Haku, were extremely good.
Noelle: It's definitely a little slower, especially since you can read the same amount content much faster than you can watch it. Different mediums lend to different speeds. At the same time, it's not significantly slower - not like One Piece - so it's pretty tolerable. I can't say I have much complaints with the pacing.
David: It's gotten slower recently, but it's still MUCH better than I expect from long-running shonen adaptations even today. I never feel like a half hour isn't used effectively, which is impressive.
Joseph: They've chopped a few minutes off the absurdly long flashbacks at the start of each episode, so it's much punchier now than when it was covering the Zabuza fight. The adaptation nails some of the big moments, so I think they do a fantastic job of making the most out of Kishimoto's story and characters.
Last but not least, what was everyone's high and low points for this week, along with anything else you want to shout out?
  Paul: My high point was the fight between Sasuke and Orochimaru in Episode 30. Pierrot's animation team really pulled out all the stops for that one, and I was frankly blown away by how well-staged it was, especially since the previous episode was so janky, to the point where it gave us the "Naruto, you look kind of cool" silly face meme. My low point was the reveal that Rock Lee's ultimate technique is just a glorified Izuna Drop. I was disappointed by that, because I was expecting something really far out there.
    Peter: I'd have to say everyone involved had a low moment against the sound ninja. Rock Lee could have actually just kicked the guys head off so I'm not sure why he pulled out his ultimate technique. The master strategist Shikamaru really handled the InoShikaCho combo poorly (why not just have Ino knock the paralyzed guy out then 3v1 the last guy?). Feels like there were too many cooks in the kitchen while Kishimoto was trying to let Sakura stand on her own. High point was Sasuke's epic fight against Orichimaru... or maybe Gaara being Goth Prime?
  Danni: If you can't guess already, the high point of this batch for me is Sakura's battle. Naruto snapping Sasuke out of his daze and the whole fight between Sasuke and Orochimaru are close runner-ups. I can't say there were any real low, low points for me in this batch, but I could have done without the whole prolonged tension of them debating whether or not to open the scroll simply for them to move on without opening it. I really feel like that could have been a lot more condensed.
  Noelle: It has to be Sakura's battle. She's the last member of the team who hasn't really had a moment of growth, as she's mostly been stuck fawning over Sasuke. Now she has a moment of her own, to show that she really can be one of their peers in combat, not just because she's assigned to be alongside them. Sasuke vs Orochimaru was also fantastic to watch. Low points would probably be the Sound Ninja fight when Sakura wasn't the highlight, it felt a little too long.
  Jared: The true answer here is Sakura finally getting her moment as the high point. The flow of these episodes just kept moving until the end where things really slowed down, but that makes sense. Sasuke pulling out a Canadian Destroyer (front flip piledriver) was something I absolutely wasn't expecting. Maybe my low points would be Gaara's fight and then Naruto wanting to open up the scroll since it felt way too obvious that he'd do that.
  Kevin: Sakura's fight somehow managed to be both the best and worst moments. The best moment was when she uses Substitution multiple times to trick her opponent into giving her an opening, even though she needed to take multiple kunai wounds in the process. It was awesome to see her thinking, and there might've even been a bit of Naruto rubbing off on her, given how brazen the plan was. Unfortunately, it led to the end of her plan... biting Zaku's arm and just holding on as he kept punching her head. Great plan, Sakura.
Carolyn: The squirrel and the hair cut were high points for me. Also, just seeing everyone have respect for each other. Sakura thanks Rock Lee, Rock Lee acknowledges Sasuke's ability. Good stuff.
  David: It might not sound like it so far, but Sakura's fight is my high point for not just this bit, but the entirety of the show - it's one of the defining moments of the series to me, something that has stuck with me for decades at this point. So, criticisms aside, that matters a lot to me. Low point is how even when the show is trying to make Lee cool is still undermines him just as quickly, making it hard to believe it really appreciates his struggle.
Joseph: Episode 30 is an all-timer, so that's gotta be my high point. The low point was probably the Sound Ninja. Their powers are cool, and I understand jutsu is a term encompassing techniques in a wide swath, but to me they just had prosthetics and weapons. Hey, check out my jutsu *pulls out a gun*.
Kara: Can't decide between Sasuka vs. Orochimaru or Sakura finally Doing Things as my high point. Really liked both. Low point was probably every time I had to see Naruto squiggling around in snake guts.
  COUNTERS:
"I'm gonna be Hokage!" count: 14
Bowls of ramen consumed: 2 bowls, 3 cups
Shadow Clones: 115
And that's everything for this week! Remember that you're always welcome to join us for this rewatch, especially if you haven't watched the original Naruto!
Here's our upcoming schedule!
-Next week, on FEBRUARY 22ND, we’re looking at EPISODES 36-42 as I, DANIEL DOCKERY, IN MY TRUE BEAST FORM, hosts as the Forest of Death continues to torment! THIS IS THE ONLY INSTALLMENT WE'RE ACCEPTING QUESTIONS OR COMMENTS FOR THIS WEEK!
-Then on MARCH 1ST, we’ll talk about EPISODES 43-49 as NATE MING returns as we enter into one-on-one competition including a showdown between Rock Lee and Gaara!
  -On MARCH 8th, we move on to the final stage of the Chunin Exam with EPISODES 50-56, hosted by CAROLYN BURKE!
  Thank you for joining us for the Great Crunchyroll Naruto Rewatch! Have a great weekend, and we'll see you all next time!
Have any comments or questions about episodes 22-28? What about our upcoming installment, featuring episodes 29-35?
-------------------------
Daniel Dockery is a writer and editor for Crunchyroll. He has a Twitter that he uses. 
Do you love writing? Do you love anime? If you have an idea for a features story, pitch it to Crunchyroll Features!
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firemagicked · 6 years ago
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Entering Firelands
Firelands. The portal the druids had allowed them access to was behind them, as were the watchful eyes of the guards on this side of the portal. Without prying eyes, Lyren felt himself loosening up. Near the portal there was little movement, only the most unaware of the elements daring to be close. But the farther they went, the more activity they began to see. Always in the distance, often watching them. But it existed, whether curious or hostile.
So far, they had seen none of the reported behaviors from when Ragnaros was alive. No waves of fiery enemies to crash into them, not even a hint of monsters part rock, part fire. And thankfully no three headed dogs - the beings of fire were little threat to the trio traversing the elemental plane. More physical ones however, could be a major problem.
Lyren kept the transmission booster close at hand, tucked into the bag until it was time to set it up. He didn't want to just set it near the entrance, not knowing how far they would wander. There had been no signs of phoenixes, not after an hour of walking, not after two or five - but they did then come across a river.
Of lava. Once, such a sight would have been nerve-wracking, spells cascading around Lyren to keep him safe - and especially the girl beside him.
Arenlia however, was as abnormal as he was. Her ears flicked as she leaned forward, wide eyed in delight. "It feels…" she sighed happily. "I don't know. Since coming here Daddy, its like… the air is - is… all fire. All…heat. I'm…"
"Warm," he finished, rueful and a little sad. "It's warm here. And the lava is…"
He eyed Sunsoul, who fluffed his wings and gave him the mental equivalent of a 'shrug-curiosity-doit'. Lyren knelt - and put the tips of his fingers into the lava. 
He laughed, delighted. It was warmer - but not burning, not hot. It was better. "Its… thicker than water but barely, that's how hot this must feel like to anyone else." He waved his fingers over the surface to test the drag, then dipped his whole arm in.
He pulled it out dripping lava - and his robe, holding up well against so many fire spells, was proving even his most adept magics were not enough against the superheated rock in front of them. The entire arm disappeared in moments as the lava dripped down to his elbow. "Ah - maybe roll up your sleeves first Areni."
Sunsoul chirped low, clearly laughing at them as he simply stepped straight into the river. "Or, silly ones, take off your cloth and put on some feathers."
There was a considering pause as Areni looked at him and Lyren looked back at her before he sighed. "Okay, fine. You two win. We'll go with feathers on."
It was a…discussion they'd had more than one during planning. Lyren had admitted it was a good enough possibility enough he had quickly altered his bag to be able to be held in either form - and now they would see how it held up.
Clothes were folded and places in the bags seemingly endless pockets. And where one phoenix had been - now there were three.
Sunsoul far outstripped Lyren's size - whereas Lyren thought he was quite normal sized from the phoenixes he had seen and Sunsoul was the large one… that didn't quite explain Arenlia, who was clearly still in her growing stages but was already nearing his size. Lyren did not appreciate the amusement on either of their parts. He fluffed up his feathers at Sunsoul in particularly, feeling his wings start to spread, make him look bigger.
Arenlia didn't wait for silly father or uncle posturing to finish. With a delighted shriek, she bowled both Lyren and herself into the flow of heat. For a brief, fearful moment Lyren wondered what he would feel as his head went under the liquid heat. There was an expectation, like whenever he was in water too deep or stared at the deepest parts of the ocean too long.
But there was no sensation of cold flowing over him. And yes, he couldn't breath but it just… didn't seem important. He knew which way was up, could feel the thrum of it through his bones, through every feather. For a brief moment, fully engulfed in the river he thought he could feel across its surface where every bit of it touched ground - and sky.
It was only a moment, and then he righted himself and "attacked" his daughter with a low set of harsh chirps, splashing shallow yellow-gold waves of light right over her. 
Sunsoul could not bear being left and before long Lyren was being dunked back beneath the surface by the much, much larger bird and he didn't even care, simply grasped Sunsoul's talons in his own and attempted to drag him under.
It was likely only the fact they still remained close to the no-elemental's land of druid patrolled features that stopped them from being in any danger from the local wildlife. Certainly the cacophony of shrieks and trills, chirps and whistles would have called any predator that could have been interested in taking them down right to them - is such a thing even existed.
If it did, it didn't call on them as they wasted two hours first playing and then bathing in the river. It was strange if Lyren thought of it too long how natural it was to fluff his feathers and roll in the river one last time, making sure it got between each and every barb. The three of them came together once they had dragged themselves out and carefully preened over each other's feathers. 
They had never done that before but the thought of stopping was more uncomfortable than continuing so he left it alone for now. And the sense of pride and rightness when Sunsoul and Arenlia's feathers shone and glowed brighter than they ever had before was more than enough just reward.
"I'm so pretty now," Arenlia cooed, hopping over to particularly reflective and shiny rock - or gem, he had no idea - nearby. "And Dad, look at you! You should be named after the Sun, not Uncle."
He did consider himself - and them, for a moment, and the strange differences he had begun to notice. Considering his phoenix form should have been made from Sunsoul it was odd, to notice not just how much smaller he was but… slimmer built. His feathers were less thick and his color was much lighter, ranging mostly yellow-gold-white edges in oranges and faint hints of reds. He looked… more like a normal phoenix, or what he had seen of them, with some coloring differences.
Then again, Sunsoul and Arenlia were both darker skinned than him. Perhaps that affected the colors? Lyren spent a moment musing on it - it might explain the coloring, but what about the feathers?
To him alone Sunsoul gently flickered images and emotions across their sharing. It was best translated as a gentle admonishment and he was correct. They wouldn't learn anything just standing there. Or, as Sunsoul was quick to hammer out with images of birds awkwardly hopping versus much more graceful flying, by walking.
Snapping his beak playfully at his brother he went to gather their bag. It only took a moment to nudge the magic to flick the straps around to their other setting. He slipped his beak under neath and with a quick snap upward of his neck, the bag slid down until it nestled over his chest like the most bizarre pendant imaginable. 
"No more playing," Lyren snorted as he caught Arenlia side stepping slowly toward the river. She puffed up her neck and ducked her head down, cocking it as if to say "Who, me?" with those big red eyes. 
"None of that, either. Unless you don't want to fly after all?"
Her entire body lit up, quite literally. Fire and sparks danced around her with every hopping step. "You mean we're going to fly the rest of the way? ...You're not going to make me ride on Uncle's back again are you? I swear I can fly just as long as he can!"
It was true that Lyren had been hesitant to let his daughter go flitting about in an entirely different form and had given him momentary sympathy for his parents. They hadn't even been able to handle two highly magical but (relatively) normal children… but they hadn't made it easy for them either. And now here he was with a child that could do everything he had, had even more firepower… and could fly.
Even Mae'syr hadn't given him so many challenges.
"We'll see. If you get tired you'll take a break but as long as you're honest with me when you need one and stay close, you can fly by yourself," he bargained. He hoped she would keep to it but, remembering himself at her age… prepared to have to catch her out of the sky himself.
Sunsoul, who had gotten only a brief fledglinghood himself, seemed oblivious to the potential drama that was inevitably crashing toward them. "It will be easier if you stay behind and to one side," he advised and at Lyren's startled cock of his head explained, "Airships and dragons. It… should be the same. We'll find out!"
Considering Sunsoul had been unusually somber and subdued since Arenlia had come into their lives it was on one hand good to see a return to his optimistic brother's self. On the other hand - it made Lyren want to sink to the ground and hide his beak beneath his wing from everything that was wrong with that sentence.
This was going to be a long journey.
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padawanlost · 7 years ago
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You know what really gets me about Yoda? When Ahsoka goes to him about her vision of Padmé dying, he's like 'choose, you must, how to proceed, but be careful because the future has many paths.' When Luke has a vision about Han and Leia, he went 'You must choose, but I'm dropping major hints that you shouldn't go.' When Anakin goes to him with his visions of Padmé? 'Rejoice for those who join the Force.' What kind of hypocritical nonsense advice is that, Yoda??
BINGO! Yodais a hypocrite, that’s a fact. What astonishes me is this notion that Yodagives good advice. He has a terrible track record with counselling people. Infact, thing only work out well (or less tragically) when people ignore whateverhe’s told them. Yoda speech pattern might make him sound wiser but when youconsider all the things he has said and how it affected everything it becomes obvioushe causes harm. Yoda, when not being a complete hypocrite, is busy preaching unhealthycoping mechanisms and manipulating the truth.
Yoda’sadvices are some of the most quotable Star Wars moments and yet when I thinkabout them I see nothing but empty wisdom.
However,before I get more into it I would like to make a few things clear: this dealswith grief and coping mechanism so if this may trigger you, please do not readany further. Also, this is not an attack on people who find this particularadvice useful or comforting. If Yoda helps you deal with whatever is going onin your life, good. I have no problem with that. I just wanted to write about my own feelings on this matter and whyI believe this particular advice didn’t work for Anakin or for me.
This isquite long, personal (kind of, but not really) and it might be triggering soit’s under a “read more”.
It’s allvery pretty and helpful at first glance but once you begin to think about whatit all means or how to put it into practice you realized most of Yoda’s advicesare not helpful at all. One of his most famous quote is “Death is a natural part of life. Rejoice for those around you whotransform into the Force. Mourn them do not. Miss them do not. Attachment leadsto jealousy. The shadow of greed that is. Train yourself to let go… ofeverything you fear to lose.” from ROTS and it’s also the one that bothersme most.
When Ifirst heard it I thought “oh! This isgood advice”. I was a sweet summer child. TBH, part of it could be consideredgood advice, especially the first part. But when you consider context and applicability it all falls apart. Ibroke it down into parts, trying to figure exactly why it doesn’t seat quitewell with me and here’s what I got:
“The fear of loss is apath to the dark side.”
Terribleadvice #1. When someone troubled comes to you with their fears, telling themfear is wrong and evil is never a good idea. You’re only reinforcing theinitial fear. Now the person is also afraid of their own fear as well. Imaginesomeone coming up to you and saying “I’m afraid my mom will die”, now imagineyourself saying “Fear is wrong. Let it go”. Does it really sound like good,healthy advice?
“Fear is a vital response to physical andemotional danger—if we didn’t feel it, we couldn’t protect ourselves fromlegitimate threats. But often we fear situations that are far fromlife-or-death, and thus hang back for no good reason. Traumas or bad experiencescan trigger a fear response within us that is hard to quell. Yet exposingourselves to our personal demons is the best way to move past them.”[x]
Yes, toomuch fear is a problem (in fact, that’s Anakin’s problem) but what’s  wrong here is that the fear is neverrecognized or validated. Being afraid is wrong and it leads to evil. That’s it.There’s not even a hint as how to deal with fear. There’s no “you need to faceyour fears”, or “you need to learn to control your fear”. Nope, all we get hereis: fear is wrong and you shouldn’t feel it.
It’s just awarning (not at all what Anakin was looking for) and an unhelpful advice.
“Death is a naturalpart of life.”
Fairenough. Can’t argue with that. However, I wonder if death affects Yoda (themost detached being in the Galaxy) the same way it affects Anakin and everyoneelse. Yoda is talking about grief, but grief is tied to one’s ability to feellove and empathy. Death is heartbreaking because of the loss attached to it.When you’re not connected to anyone and you’re incapable of deeply empathizingwith people, seeing death as fact of life is much easier. But here Yoda istalking to someone who:
Has a history of fear, emotional     instability, and deep attachments.
Just admitted is talking to some close to him:
Anakin: They are of pain, suffering. Death. Yoda: Yourself you speak of,or someone you know? Anakin: Someone. Yoda: Close to you? Anakin: Yes.
Ourattachments are what makes loss so devastating and personal. When we aretalking about Death as a concept, sure, there’s nothing wrong with reminding usthat Death is natural and unavoidable. But in a more immediate situation, wherethe threat is real (Anakin believes it’s real) it’s a rather cold thing to say.It’s the equivalent of saying “people die” to someone in a life-or-deathsituation. It’s not a lie, but it’s hardly helpfuladvice.  Anakin was not afraid of“conceptual death”. He was a soldier and a former slave. He was aware of deathas a fact of life. He was seeking advice on personal loss. Yoda, being the detached Jedi he was, was incapableof understanding the difference because to him there was no difference. ToYoda, every death is a fact of life, not a personalloss.
Althoughthere’s nothing fundamentally wrong with what Yoda said, his lack of empathymakes him lose some points in my book.
“Rejoice for thosearound you who transform into the Force.”
I’ve seenpeople interpreting this as “be happy this person lived” but imo, that’s notwhat he said at all. Yoda advice here is “be happy the person has gone somewhereelse”.
It’s not abad thing to say if we see “transforming into the Force” as the equivalent of anafterlife. Again, the problem here is not what he is saying but when he issaying it. Yoda is talking to someone who is afraid to lose someone they love,not to someone who has lost someone they love. He’s not talking about someonewho’s dead or dying.
Yoda: Premonitions, premonitions. These visions youhave… Anakin: They are of pain,suffering. Death.
They aretalking the possibility of loss and Yoda is already telling him to let go. Itfits the Jedi mindset but when we consider Anakin’s emotional state or a reallife situation it’s not helpful at all:
Person 1: someone I love might be ill.Person 2: be happy they’ll go to [insert any equivalent to the Force/afterlife here].
Once more,it’s matter of tact and compassion. The problem it’s not what Yoda is saying.It’s when, how and to whom he is saying it. That same sentence “Rejoice forthose around you who transform into the Force” would probably have givenObi-wan great comfort after the loss of Qui-Gon. But here, it doesn’t helpAnakin because Anakin is not ready to let go of his pregnant, healthy and ALIVEwife.
“Mourn them do not.”
This iswhat I was talking about. On paper, great. One practice, terrible. Mourning isa natural process. Dealing with our grief, learning to cope and moving on ishealthy. Pretending you’re unaffected by loss, is not. This a perfect exampleof toxic Jedi behavior. Conceal, don’t feel.
“Miss them do not.”
Seriously?!You can’t even miss them? Does this mean Yoda doesn’t miss all the Jedi Anakinkilled? Is this another example of Yoda’s hypocrisy or he truly doesn’t care?I’m torn on this one.
“Attachment leads to jealousy.”
True. Butthis is quite a big leap. He was talking about death and mourning, and his mindwent straight to jealousy. How does that help Anakin, or anyone else? this is basically,“don’t love anything or anyone, or else you’ll get jealous”. Seriously? Is thisreally good advice to give someone who is afraid of loss. Like I say earlier,this sort of “advice” only adds to the strain the person was already feeling.Not only no real help is being offered, their feelings are being criticized. InAnakin’s case, he’s being told he can’t help his loved one, he’s also beingtold that having a loved one is wrong and that even love itself leads to evil.
“The shadow of greed that is.”
*_____*
“Train yourself to let go of everything youfear to lose.”
Attachment= emotional bond (love)
Attachment-> Jealousy -> greed => dark side (bad/evil)
By Yoda’s(Jedi) logic here, attachment is the cause of all evil. And the only way toprevent evil is to prevent love. To prevent love, you must let go of everythingyou fear to lose. Yoda concludes his advice by saying “you shouldn’t care aboutthis”. You should let go of whoever you love, because love leads to bad things.That’s not good advice, to Anakin or to us. Good, admirable advice, would recognizethe person’s feeling and actually help them to deal with them, or at leastcomfort them.
To be fair,all the unhealthy implications above are not only about Yoda. It’s a about theJedi Order as whole and how their rules and beliefs harmed their own members.Yoda, Obi-wan, Qui-Gon, Mace Windu, Anakin and all the others felt the samethings we do: love, anger, fear, etc. and even if they weren’t attached tosomeone they were attached to the Order and their own ways and ideals. The Jediand their story is the proof this kind of thinking doesn’t work in practice. Ican’t think of a single character (who had contact with Yoda and the Jedi wayof thinking) putting all the above into practice. Here’s one example:
“The fear of loss is apath to the dark side.”
They allfelt fear.
“Fear, anger, hate. Consumed by the dark sidethe Jedi were.” Yoda to Kanan [Rebels]Right before the Jedi Purge, the jedi were so afraid to losing their power andinfluence they were willing to compromise their beliefs, spy on the chancellorand plot against the Senate.
Mace Windu: I sense a plot to destroy the Jedi. The Dark Side of the Force surrounds the Chancellor.Ki-Adi-Mundi: If he does not give up his emergency powers after the destruction of Grievous, then he must be forcibly removed from office.Mace Windu: It will be tricky. The Jedi Council will have to take control of the Senate to ensure a peaceful transition to a new government and a new leadership for the Republic.Yoda: Hmm. To a dark place this line of thought will carry us. Great care we must take.
Yoda’s “words of wisdom” are just more proof of his hypocrisy and damaging mentality that lead to the destruction of the Jedi Order.
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