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benignbucky · 3 years ago

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Whiplash Pt. 2

Based on THIS REQUEST

PART ONE

AN: (MINORS DNI) This is probably gonna be the final part, I'm not super feeling this series anymore in all honesty so I'm gonna leave it as a mini series so we can get that resolution. I may come back to it later but for now I am happy with this ending. This could honestly be a standalone but the first part is linked above. Thank you for being so patient with me while I got this out, last weekend was stressful but this weekend is so much better. You may need a fan for the last half of this. ♡

PAIRING: stucky x reader, john walker x reader briefly

Word Count: 2.4k

WARNINGS: John Walker is the ex because absolutely no one likes him and we all know this man radiates tiny pp energy and would be the worst in bed, fighting, minor angst, mostly fluff and smut, unprotected sex (wrap your wang before you bang), threesome, overstimulation, squirting, HELLA praise kink, pet names (baby, peach, good girl), brief mentions of dub-con/non-con with ex, unbeta'ed (all mistakes are my own)

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The memories of that night were burnt in the back of your eyes. Seeing your ex, John, for the first time in 6 months and he still had so much power over you.

The second you opened the door, tears sprung to your eyes as a barely audible 'w-what are you doing here?' escaped your mouth before he was walking in, clearly not noticing Bucky and Steve walking over with fury in their eyes.

"You need to leave before this gets messy." Steve and Bucky were easily twice his size, not so much in height but in pure muscle.

"Oh, so you're moved out and fucking both of your roommates. A whore like you would do that, huh?" John

You backed behind Bucky as Steve took the lead. "Listen, I don't care who you think you are but you don't just get to come back around after how you treated her. Let alone call her something she most certainly is not seeing as you're the one that cheated on her with how many women?"

"You may look all big but I doubt you even know how to fight. Useless muscle if you ask me." Little did he know that both incredibly skilled in combat, especially hand-to-hand combat. And that's all it took for Bucky to leap forward and land a bone breaking punch to John's jaw, almost knocking him out cold. This had him backing out the door, learning his place.

"And don't even think about coming back here because next time you'll have to be dragged out," The tone of Bucky's voice was firm and aggressive but only until John walked out of the building before he joined Steve in comforting you.

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It had been three hours since John tried to pry himself into your life again. You were still trembling even though you were in the arms of the two people you trusted most. The idea that John could just show up again out of nowhere terrified you more than anything. You were well protected by Steve and Bucky but just having John in the same room, no, same building as you brought on heart shattering fear and anxiety.

You had all migrated to your room, the three of you barely fitting on your queen size mattress. It really showed off how much bigger they were compared to other guys, especially compared to you. Both of them were easily at least a foot taller than you. Their biceps easily closer to the size of one of your thighs than your arms.

Around you, they were gentle giants. That was until they needed to protect you. And they would, with their whole being. They just wanted to show you how much they valued you, how much you lit up their lives. They wanted you to know that it wasn't one sided. The two of them were pampering you in kisses and praise, gentle caresses, doing everything they could to make you feel safe and loved.

Eventually your breathing and heart rate had calmed, turning on your back so you could look at the two men. Their overwhelming appreciation towards you made you want to show your appreciation for them but you were mustering up the courage. You hadn't been intimate with anyone, let alone with yourself since before you moved in. Any experience with John had been too rough, basically forced from you but you didn't know any better.

This one moment with Bucky and Steve, everything felt different. They asked if they could play with your hair, caress your face in their hands, or even to soothingly rub your back. Every touch required you to tell them yes. If it made you even the slightest bit uncomfortable, they would stop and move back to something else you had already agreed to, which only made your core dampen more than it already was.

Fighting the nerves, you kissed them both with nothing but love and passion, hinting for something more. It took them a minute to take the hint but when they did, their actions only got softer.

"Are you sure? You don't have to do anything you're not comfortable with." Steve whispered. His and Bucky's eyes had darkened, pupils blown out. This only made you want them more.

You nodded at them both even though you knew they wanted a verbal answer. You gulp before mustering up a soft, "Yes, I want this. Want you. Both of you."

Slowly, you sat up, starting to tug at the hem of your oversized shirt before you felt one metal and one flesh hand move your hands away, removing your shirt for you.

"This is about you, peach. Don't worry about us. We want you to feel good." Bucky whispered in your ear, sending chills down your spine but in the best way possible.

Steve was behind you, rubbing circles into your back as Bucky trailed kissed down your jaw and neck. You leaned back against Steve's chest as Bucky's kisses went lower to your chest. "Can we take this off?" Looping his flesh fingers under the strap of your bra.

"Please…" You breathed out your answer, feeling Steve's hand loop under you to unclasp the article of clothing. You gasped at the cold sensation of Bucky's metal hand brushing over your hot skin and he chuckled softly. "You're so fucking beautiful, you know that? Isn't she, Steve?" You leaned back once more only to gasp again at the light flick that Bucky gave to your nipple. "Absolutely gorgeous." Steve hummed his answer, you could feel his length growing underneath you.

The moment you felt Bucky's mouth over your chest left your mouth agape, your back arching at his touch. His mouth didn't linger long as it started moving lower and lower until he was in between your thighs, kissing over your biker shorts but not over where you wanted him the most.

Out of instinct, you reach down to pull off your remaining clothing but Bucky just shakes his head and replaces your hands with his. This time it's him gasping at how absolutely dripping you are. "Oh you poor baby, probably haven't had someone focused on your pleasure in so long."

Steve's hands moved up to tease your chest, massaging and caressing everything he could reach before pulling his shirt off with you still on top of him. Bucky did the same before placing your thighs over his shoulders, looking for any sign of you being uncomfortable but only saw your eyes shut in pleasure.

Dipping his head down, he licked a broad stripe up your dripping cunt, not even giving you time to be shocked as he got to work. Your sounds were only making him work harder as you took his hands in yours at your side.

John only went down on you once and that was after begging him because it was 'only fair' seeing as you had always done it for him. Steve and Bucky didn't even ask, didn't want you to because unlike John, they cared more about your pleasure than their own.

"Such a good girl," Steve mumbled in your ear before leaving open mouthed kisses on your neck. This only fueled your needs.

"More, Bucky. Please…" You had let go of one of his metal hand only to tangle your fingers in his hair, pushing him even further into your core. He was groaning against you at your neediness, which sent vibrations throughout your entire body.

You were about to beg again but before the words could even come out, you felt two cold fingers at your entrance before they slowly slid in and bumping into your g-spot, which wasn't something you had ever experienced before.

"B-Bucky… oh my god! What was that?" You were a blubbering mess at this new found sensation.

Looking up at you and only moving his mouth away to say, "You can't tell me no one has ever?-" His fingers were curling up at an agonizing pace, your hips bucking on his hand was the only response he needed before he started moving at a faster pace. You were almost at your peak, legs trembling, as he put his mouth back on you and sucked your bundle of nerves into his mouth.

You had never felt this much pleasure before in your life. Only a few more strokes of his hand left and you felt like you had exploded, seeing stars. The sounds you were making and your grip on Bucky's hair had him groaning against you, only heightening your peak and making it more intense. Bucky wasn't done yet though, he was going to drag out your high until you couldn't take anymore, Steve nearly forgotten behind you.

Any words you tried to make were incoherent as Bucky finally slowed down and kissed back up your body. "Such a good girl for us, aren't you, baby?" Chuckling at how you could only nod as a response. The two men would have been happy with at that but you were already sitting up and turning around to give Steve attention, which took them both by surprise.

You were a shy person in general let alone during a situation like this but your orgasm only gave you more confidence. Bucky laid down as you crawled up and straddled Steve. As much as he would love to watch you ride him, you were spent. You looked it to. With a swift motion, you were back on your back, legs spread again as Steve pulled down his pants and his briefs, Bucky following behind shortly.

You knew both of them were packing at the one too many times you had walked in on one of them getting out of the shower so you weren't that surprised to see how big they were in the moment. "I would love to taste you but I can't wait any longer, needa be inside you. Is that alright?" Steve accepted your whimper of a yes and draped his body over yours, giving you a tender kiss before reaching down and running a finger in between your folds and lining himself up to your entrance.

He didn't even need to look up at you for approval, you were already snaking your legs around his hips. "Eager girl, aren't you?" Steve smirked before pressing into you slowly, earning a soft moan from you before rocking his hips slowly as you got used to his size before working up to a faster pace. Both of you moaning and groaning as you raked your nails down his back.

"Fuck, so tight. Don't know how long 'm gonna last." You were already squeezing around, trying to milk him for everything he had.

"F-faster… harder…" You begged and he happily obliged. You didn't care if he didn't last much longer, you knew Bucky wanted a turn and you wanted to give them both a chance at you. "Oh my god, Steve. I'm gonna cum… please." Your begging only made Steve's release come sooner, only letting go when you had reached your peak as well, pulling at his hair as he groaned into your neck before his thrusts slowed to a halt.

You were still catching your breath before the two men swapped places. "Think you can handle one more, peach?" Bucky hovered over, looking for any sign of you wanting to stop. "I sure hope so." You chuckled out of breath still before gasping as Bucky flipped you over onto your stomach and pulling your hips up to meet his, his hands resting at your hips.

"That's a good girl," lining himself up, Bucky groaned at the wetness that was Steve's release mixed with yours as he pushed in. Steve was longer but Bucky was noticeably thicker as he pushed into you. "You weren't kidding, Steve. So. Fucking. Tight." Bucky growled out. Steve reached over to moved your hair out of your face before Bucky started thrusting into you.

"If it's too much, just say and we'll stop and take care of you." Steve reassured you before nodding to Bucky, encouraging him to pick up the pace.

And he did, his thrusts were relentless but were all for your pleasure. Neither of you would last very long but he wanted this one to be the best orgasm of the night. "Steve," Bucky managed, nodding his head to Steve, motioning for him to touch you. The whine you let out when Steve scooted down to rub feverish circles around your clit which was only bringing your third incredibly intense orgasm of the night only moments away.

"Oh god… of fuck fuck FUCK…" amongst another string of curses cam out of both you and Bucky's mouth as you came, covering Bucky's thighs, Steve's hand, and your comforter. It only took that sight and a couple more thrusts as Bucky was filling you to the brim. "Fuck…." He groaned, "Can't say I've ever had that happen before."

You drop to lay flat on your stomach on the bed, clearly oblivious to you squirting all over the two men and your blanket, only humming in response. "Did you know that you could do that, baby? Did you know you could squirt?" Your eyes widened at Steve as he asked, he took that answer as an obvious 'no' and chuckled softly.

You wished you could move but you were so fucked out that your limbs were limp. Steve got up and grabbed a new t-shirt and underwear for you to put on as Bucky eased out of you, causing another whine from you at the sensation. Steve left the room temporarily just to get a warm washcloth and a different blanket for the three of you as the other one was deemed in need of a wash.

The two cleaned and dressed you before laying out the new blanket over you. Bucky laid down first, pulling you to lay on his chest before Steve crawled behind you, spooning you. You were barely conscious but you heard the small I love you's and praises from them about how good you did. You breathed out a small 'love you too' before falling asleep.

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haechanokeh · 4 years ago

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[teaser] [ Chapter 1 ] [ Chapter 2 ] [ Chapter 3 ] [Chapter 4] [Chapter 5] [Chapter 6] [Chapter 7] [Chapter 8] [Chapter 9]

pairing: popular college! mark x average! reader

genre: romance, smut, angst, series.

warning (general): corruption, oral sex (both receiving and giving), cream pie, rough sex, mention of religion, rough sex, self-esteem, public sex, sub! reader, sex toys. possessive mark two-faced mark, psychology

you cried your eyes out, face shoved in your pillow and muffling your sobs. you didn't who told you those words, it was mark but he's not the same guy you fell in love with and the guy you said yes with today. your phone was ringing nonstop so you have to turn it off but mark was too eager so he's now in front of your house banging and shouting your name begging you to open the door and talk to him.

what he told you was possible, that they didn't care for you and you have to admit that it stings but his words are not responsible for your vulnerability right now, it was the unknown mark. you didn't like him just because he's kind, it was just one out of the nth god knows the reason why you love him. he made you so special, he was right that he's the only person who cared about you in your class but the unfamiliar mark you saw a couple of hours ago was scary. it gave you goosebumps, you were frightened it's as if anytime he will hurt you.

you heard a hard stomp inside your room and you quickly sat up and surprisingly it was mark inside your room who entered the room through your open window.

"fuck, y/n." he ran into you and pulled you up into his arms. "I'm so sorry, this will never happen again." he whispered and caressed your hair. "i will not let lucas and my friends break us, shhh i am truly sorry. you only need me, so don't worry."

your body froze in shock and your heart beating so fast. he's not sorry.

"what..." you whispered in disbelief, you can't understand why he can't understand that he's wrong as well.

"we're okay now right? let's just forget everything, y/n... hmmm?" he looked at your face and looked into your eyes but he saw nothing but unpleasant. he felt rage rushing in his whole system. "what do you want! i already apologize!" he squeezed your jaw.

you were shaking in fear as his loud voice boomed in your room. his nose was flaring, his eyes were dripped with spite, and his chest where heaving. he's so mad at you and you're scared and confused.

that's when you realize, there's something wrong with him.

"m-mark, you're hurting me." you sobbed. mark snapped out of his senses. he quickly removed his hands from you and embraced you.

"I'm sorry." he sincerely said and kissed your cheeks and shove his face against it. "I'm so sorry, please don't leave me." he kept on apologizing non-stop. his hands were trembling you could feel it as he was clutching your arms.

"mark? mark?" you panicked. "mark? are you okay?" your fear from him vanished and changed into a concern to him. this is not normal.

you tried to get away from his arms but he's not budging, you stopped wriggling when you heard him whimper.

"don't leave me, can't. i really can't, i will lose myself." he begged like he's close to hopelessness. you gently pushed him to look at his face. your heart was stabbed when you saw how vulnerable he looked.

"mark..." you voice broke, you really don't know what to say because this is your first time to see him like this.

this is why mark never pursues someone or something he likes, he became possessive in fear that it will slip away from him, like his friends' admiration and respects towards him, the trust from his parents, and how they look at him as the perfect son, the people's respect on him because of his kindness and intellect, and his high grades- all of these are his goals and obsession but you're different. he can confidently allow these to get away from him in exchange of not losing you. you become his obsession. mark is aware that he has a problem but doesn't want to admit it and keep on insisting that this is part of his life... when it is not. everything about it is not normal, because when he faces rejection he felt anguish, loss, stress, and anger. there was a point where he tried to consider hurting and taking his life but he was taught that this is a grave sin and again, he felt disappointed that he is thinking of doing a grave sin which added made it worse to his anxiety. 3 years ago, he talked to his psychologist professor and was diagnosed with depression and attachment disorganized anxiety. he only attends one counseling session because he couldn't accept that there's something wrong with him and if people will find out about this he will lose all the respect.

ask him. you were pushing yourself to speak what's wrong? do you have a problem? you want to ask him but you became voiceless.

"mark, i want you to be honest to me okay?" your voice was shaking trying to control it from whimpering and tears rolling on your cheeks. "are you going through... something? do you want to talk about it?"

mark was spacing out while looking into your eyes but inside his head, it was in extreme chaos. he's having a second thoughts on telling that he has anxiety.

"mark, i love you so much but i need to understand you first so i know what to do and to make sure that you're receiving it. can you trust me?" you were convincing him and mark can see it through your eyes.

he gave up.

"i'm a mess." he broke down. mark's voice cracked and tears falling filled with hopelessness. you couldn't bare to see him like this so you pulled him into a passionate but slow kiss which he gladly responds.

you made him sit on your bed and straddle his hips, your hands were on both sides of his face and his hands were on the bed to support his body and your body. both of you where muffling your sobs.

"i was diagnosed depression and disorganized attachment anxiety" he confessed. you have no idea what is disorganized attachment anxiety, but you just understand that he has anxiety and depression, which was shocking.

mark lee, loved by everyone and religious boy have depression? that's when you realize, depression has no favoritism.

"how? you're..."

"when i was a kid, my parents are busy but i felt love every time they praise me and follow their lessons. i needed their praise and validation and i adopted it and became like... that and brought it until i grow up and to school. i never wanted to feel their disappointment and i never wanted to lose the respect of my parents, professors, and classmates but when i met you..." your eyes were locking with him. "you're the only thing i need and for the first time i never cared of losing it i thought i changed but i was wrong, nothing changed. i was just too possessive and obsess of you and when you told me you want to leave me..." his voice broke once again.

"it's going to be the end of me. it's been a long time since i felt rejected and i don't know what to do." he weeps and you felt weak.

mark has been your emotional support with fragile heart, you felt useless. instead of apologizing, you said the 3 words he always and shamelessly tells you.

"i love you." you pecked his lips. "i love you." your kissed it again and repeatedly do it while allowing the tears to fall.

he needs assurance that he is genuinely loved, which he is.

"mark, you are you still going to a psychiatrist?" making sure that he's managing it very well, but he shook his head. he needs help, someone who's more reliable. you hope that the next statement you will tell him will not take it as a bad thing. you rub his cheeks.

"you need to, aren't we pharmacists? aren't we push people to comply and adhere?" you smiled sadly.

"what will they think? my parents will be disappointed and sad at me, they will blame it to themselves, i know them y/n. and the people around me, they will think that i am fragile." you could see how frustrated he was.

"i thought you don't care about them anymore? i thought what matters is me? and what i think is that i love you and will love you more regardless of seeing one." you want to tell him that one day if you will do something wrong he might hurt himself or the people around him but you don't know if it's the right thing to say. this is why he needs to talk to a professional and you also need one because you can talk to them on what is the right thing to do to help mark and support him.

"if i do this you will never leave me?" you felt bad, now mark is now losing trust on you.

"if you do that, i am always right there with you." you kissed his forehead.

"and if i don't?"

"and if you don't..." you rest your forehead against his. "i am always with you."

you stared at each other for a long time sharing tons of emotion and you didn't know when it happened but both of you can't keep your hands to yourself. you're hovering over him touching him everywhere and his hands are all over your back.

you're grinding yourself hard on his pants, both of you panting but your lips never got separated, instead, it gets deeper. you pulled the hem of his pants and boxer. you pushed aside you shorts and sunk down to his length.

"fuck, that was hot." mark coulnd't help but blurt that out. you started to bounce, hands gripping his shoulders. he squeezed your breast underneath your shirt when suddenly the door clicked opened along with a women's gasp.

both of your heads turned towards the door's direction. it was your mom wearing his office uniform, holding a bowl with jaw-dropping in surprise. mark panicked, and so do you. you pulled mark's head and pulled it towards your breast, you want to gatekeep him.

"mom!" you shouted.

"i-i'm sorry I thought you look so down.. ohh..." you actually don't know what she just realized but she's nodding her head like now i get it "you have--"

"mom, get out!" she quickly closed the door.

"just so you know i will be here at 8, but if you want i can come here by 9! you can continue-"

"mom!" she made you feel embarrassed.

"my daughter has a boyfriend! finally!" she squealed as if the pigs finally learned how to fly. your mom thought this day wouldn't come but good lord your mom saw mark's face and at that moment she knew she needs mark's gene in her family tree.

"as much i loved your breast, i love to look at your face more." mark said. you release his head.

"my mom is just like that I'm sorry." you heard your mom honked. mark grinned and you gave him an apologetic look. "are you still in the mood?"

"i'm afraid i'm not anymore." mark chuckled. there's so much going on inside him plus he was slightly concerned what your mom thought of him. your mom caught him making with you but she seemed cool though but it was awkward.

"me too." deep down your blaming your mom.

you went back to class, you can't let mark skip[ another class again. you have to be a good influence. it was awkward but everyone already knows that you're dating, there's no reason to hide it and might just embrace it. mark apologized to the whole class, he didn't tell them his condition but he told them that he's going through something. even though mark still thinks that they are just using him, though at first that's how you perceived them but that really changed, for you it was a genuine friendship, they were so forgiving and i hope one day mark will accept that friendship.

since them, things went good though not perfect. his parents blamed themselves but you told them that that's the reason why mark didn't want to tell it to them, instead of continuing blaming themselves, they will give them all the love and support. mark never missed a session and you never missed going with him also.

and for the first time, you went to their church and the pastor is mark's father. you thought it was going to be like a normal day but...

"mark..." you sighed when he increased the intensity of the vibrator that he slipped while his father preaching. the front seats were occupied while you and mark are the only ones seating at the back.

you're squeezing and rubbing your thighs together, you felt so hot and wet. you badly want to moan, but that will be hard because you felt like once you moan, it will never stop.

"are you calling me love?" mark innocently asked you, he was saying that while putting the vibrator on max. you mouth opened while looking at mark's eyes. mark kept his smile while watching your orgasm face. he's doing unholy inside but worth it. he off the vibrator.

unfortunately all you can hear mark's father but can't understand it. you're still in ecstasy.

"my friends and family, it's not about finding the right person, it is becoming the right person, and if both partners think this way even the wrong shadows will be lighted by understanding. it's like saying i am the right person for the right person. tell this to your partner."

"i am the right person for the right person." mark whispered into your ears.

"hmm? what?" you weakly said. your eyes still closed. mark just chuckled and kissed your forehead.

"nothing." then put the vibrator to max.

"mark!" you screamed and everyone turned their heads towards you. you blood went down to your feet and nervously smile. "i- love your son sir..." you embarrassingly confessed. mark was trying to suppress his laugh while the people around you awed.

"and that's an example of my preach today."

you glared at mark, he just grinned and kiss your love.

"i love you too." he said.

"i want to smack you in the head." you angrily said. he just laughed.

this is going to be the last chapter. sorry for waiting to much, BUT there's a BONUS chapter there's no story on that just pure 🥵

✨if you want to be added in I’m Right For You Tag List, you can DM or Ask me so i can add you ✨

Tag List: @jenotation @babylion-mork @cloudykeiji @jjikyuu @sunshinedhyuck @wassup-haeyadwae @mrklyy @resceluwu @jenonctcity @wanlore @watermelonlovermark @erisxczenie @marksquare @lalaname

#mark lee angst #mark lee smut #nct mark #mark lee #nct 127 smut #nct dream smut

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nicoforlifetrue · 5 years ago

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Summery:Dee Roman and Remus practicing a dead religion has some hiccups when it comes to history

Notices:

none of these are in any real timeline yet!

Yes the other sides are here

More then one person wrote this

There is a prologue! Read it here

The History Class Incident-

History was taught by Professor Thomas Sanders, he was a bright, cheery guy who never called Remus out for the 'juice' in his water bottle. He was a great guy by the standards of the three. That is, until the mythology course started.

You see; Roman, Remus, and Dee hadn't yet told their roommates why they burned their food or why Remus was always inebriated or high. They hadn't said why Roman was so focused on appearance or why Dee's knee jerk reaction was to lie. Because all that was normal to them. It was how the three followed their respective patrons. But after the first day of mythology, the boys dragged their roommates out to meet the people they grew up with and rage over the inaccuracies of the course; expecting said roommates to rage with them.

Dee had talked Virgil into going the entire way to the little coffee shop a friend of theirs worked at. The college student was seething the whole way there; you see the first unit in the course was Norse mythology and dear Professor Sanders had called Loki, his patron, the main villain of all things! Now Virgil, the good but anxiety ridden person he was, finally asked Dee what was wrong about halfway to the coffee shop. "Dude, what's your deal? Why are you so pissed?"

Dee sighed at that, rubbing his face before he stated, "You sat next to me in history; I know you heard what the professor said. He insulted the gods themselves and insinuated that Loki was a villain! That's why I'm pissed; he's a disrespectful cunt!"

Virgil laughed. "Dude, chill; he's just talking about an old religion. Like, sure, Loki is a cool superhero, but he's still pretty crazy in the myths."

Dee leveled his gaze at Virgil upon hearing that; disbelief written across his features. "Are you fucking with me? Please say you are; ‘cause if you aren't, I might have to kill you."

Virgil raised an eyebrow and smirked. "Oh really? Why are you taking it so seriously?"

"How are you not?" Dee snapped back before he sighed, trying to calm down. "I'm sorry I just- good gods and goddesses he called Loki a character, flattened his story's into two dimensional cluster fucks, left out all of the good Loki did; and all around disrespected him; thus disrespecting me and all other wards of Loki! I have no idea who your patron is but imagine if that happened to them. It physically sickens me just remembering that 'lesson', ugh."

"Wait wait wait," Virgil said, putting two and two together. "You take mythology seriously? Like it's actually your religion?"

Dee gave him a look. "Stop calling it a mythology and what; you don't? I always thought you followed Hades or Nyx," he hummed. "I grew up learning about the gods and goddesses, yes."

"Oh that's cool, I didn't know anyone still believed in that religion. I've no clue who my patron would be though," he said, laughing a bit.

"You don't?" Dee questioned before pausing and humming. "That actually explains some things…. But he's still a fucking cunt."

Roman, on the other hand, felt more betrayed; though not quite nearly as much as when he had watched Hercules. He knew what Loki meant to Dee, and to hear such a grossly incorrect retelling of the gods stories? It was devastating. And to hear not just that, but Loki being reduced to his greatest mistake and flattened into an evil villain? He was brokenhearted at the fact that his favorite teacher could be so ignorant and brash, to the point of calling Loki a character! Now Logan, despite his ineptitude with emotions could tell the class had upset Roman. So as at least a good acquaintance of the man he felt obligated to ask what was wrong.

"Roman? Why were you feeling upset in class?"

"How could I not be?!" he responded, throwing his hands up. "The professor grossly distorted one of Loki's stories and refused to tell any others! Instead he just honed in on his greatest mistake and made Loki seem like a Disney villain!”

“I still don't see why you are getting angry over a retelling of a simple character's story."

Roman’s gaze flattened at that.

Staring at his roommate angrily, "Logan. You did not just call Loki, the trickster God of Asgard, a character from some fictional work. If you did, may the gods and goddesses help you when Dee finds out."

"Gods and Goddesses are not real, they are simply imaginary characters people created to explain the causes of natural phenomena, they are useless now that we can define the world with science."

Roman stared at him dumbfounded. "Logan, my friend, blessed by Athena, unless you wish to end up being mauled by my brother; I suggest you change that perspective before he runs out of wine. And perhaps pay more respect to those higher than us mere mortals."

Logan sighs. "You will not understand that one cannot praise something that is just a fictional character, so I will end this pointless conversation."

Roman rolled his eyes at that. "You’re going to be punished for ignoring the gods, you know."

And the last pair was Remus and Patton. Patton wasn't a fan of Remus, the only reason he was coming along was so the drunk didn't hurt himself.

"I just can't believe the guy!"

"What?"

"What do you mean, ‘what?’ He shit-talked the gods!" Remus huffed, well more like pouted. That statement basically ended the conversation.

The door to the cafe slammed open, an angry Dee storming in and over to their table. The other four were already there as Virgil trailed behind him. He slammed his palms against the table staring down at the wood, eyes full of fire.

"Fuck Professor Sanders."

Roman and Remus made noises of agreement as Dee sat down. "Who does he think he is! I mean, he's so clearly biased against trickster gods. Holy fucking Underworld!"

Roman nodded in agreement aggressively, and Remus kinda hummed as he took another sip of his drink.

"I do not understand why you three are getting so riled up about what Professor Sanders said, he was merely telling the story of a mythological character." Logan said, monotone.

All three looked at him askance. "Because he retold it incorrectly, and refused to share any stories that would make my patron seem like he wasn't a complete shithead," Dee snapped; Roman frowning and Remus giggling drunkenly.

"Your 'patron' is a complete shithead, as you say, he wasn't a good person at all."

Dee stared at him at that "I'm sorry, did I hear you correctly? Did you, one, put air quotes around the word patron and then secondly, follow it up by calling my patron a villain?" His voice was cold and dead serious, angry to the point of pulling a Remus and ripping the next person who insulted Loki to shreds.

"Yes, I was speaking clearly, so unless you are deaf; you heard me correctly. Secondly, I did not call him a villian; you called him that."

Dee took a breath, then sighed. "Logan, you dumb fuck. How has Athena blessed you?" he stated, mostly to himself. "Ok, here. Think of it this way. Let's say someone explains something as simple as the water cycle in a grossly incorrect manner. Wouldn’t you be pissed?"

"I would fix their falsehood and move on. Yes I would be mad, but I would be right and they would be wrong."

"Now think of it like that, but it’s fucking stuck with me because I was also personally insulted with this falsehood. It would be like someone explaining how colors work to you as if you’re five; but they do it so very incorrectly. That's why I'm pissed off, get it?"

"Yes, I'm now partly understanding, but how were you insulted by this 'falsehood'?"

"’Cause it's also a fundamental part of who I am," Dee responded blandly. "Loki being my patron shaped who I am today; and what I present and act like, being Loki's ward, has made me who I am. And to insult him? It's a personal attack on who I am as a person, as well as an attack on someone who I hold higher than myself."

Logan places his hands on the table. "So let me get this straight, you hold Loki in the same esteem that, say, a Christian would hold God?"

"Kinda; unlike Christianity though my patron, though unlikely, might change. I don't know how but it can happen. But basically, yeah."

Logan nods. "And Roman and Remus are the same?"

"Different patrons, but yeah." Roman chimed in, Dee nodding.

"Big ego, loves his own appearance; Roman is your patron Aphrodite?" Logan asks.

"Got it in one, Teach!"

"Teach?" Logan says confusedly.

"You act like a teacher. So, Teach." Roman responded with a smirk; Dee chuckling, Remus watching him with his loopy tipsy-but-not-quite-drunk grin.

"Thank you for explaining, Princey." Logan says holding back a smile

"Ooo! I like that one," Roman hummed; Remus's face scrunched up before he grinned.

"Can I be Dukey then?" Logan ignores that.

Virgil, who had previously been quiet, snickered. "Sure, why not?"

Dee sighed, relaxing.

"Now I'm worried about what he'll do to the rest of our patrons, especially Aphrodite." Roman shook his head. "I might just file a complaint, at this rate."

"I mean, Aphrodite was a little bipolar in the stories. And no, Roman, I'm not insulting her." Logan said, trying to stop Roman from getting mad.

"Good," Roman huffed; Remus giggling again.

"Yeah, but with what the professor did to Loki; he'll turn her from bipolar to outright batshit crazy."

"Yeah; that's my job!" Remus cheered.

"Wait, drunkenness, insanity…is your patron Dionysus?" Logan said.

"Bingo!" Remus responded.

"You could just offer to teach things the right way around, since you have first hand experience with the stories," Virgil offered calmly.

"They could; but wouldn't that be taken as slander to Professor Sanders’ teaching?" Logan said, pulling a Rubix cube out of his pocket.

"Yeah, most likely not worth the risk," Dee hummed with a sigh. "We'll just have to grit our teeth, and hope he doesn't damn us all by insulting the gods and goddesses too badly..."

"Yeah, oh! Why do you have the snake tattoo, Dee?"

Dee raised an eyebrow. "I like snakes, and they’re a sign of my patron; tattoos are also a sign of rebellion against higher ups, especially on the face and areas of high visibility, so..." he gestured at his tattoo. "I got one."

"We should get back to school."

"But we have the rest of the day off! Don't tell me you need to study that badly," Roman whined; Dee nodding.

"Nothing to stress over…"

"You can never be too behind on your work. Also, seeing how we have to do something about Loki, I would suggest you get it over and done with."

Dee groaned at that. "I'm going to put in the truth, not whatever nonsense the professor was spouting."

That promptly started a 'discussion' on work ethics.

Enjoy that? Well join the discord to help make more or just to support it!

https://discord.gg/Pun4QBA

#sander sides #logan sanders #virgil sanders #thomas sanders #deceit sanders #remus sanders #creativity sanders #roman sanders #creativitwins #polytheistic roman/remus #dlamp

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rusharound · 6 years ago

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Okay, so I finally got some time to watch Albireo (ACT week SUCKS!), and first off, just let me say: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! IT'S SO AMAZING!!!!!!!! Okay, okay, but I'm gonna break this down, because it all needs to be said. (Kinda wish you had submissions turned on, 'cause this is gonna be a lot of asks. Apologies in advance. Also will try to avoid spoilers.) Okay, so first off, Chambers: He's such a dork I freaking love him! Nothing's Gonna Happen is such a 1/?

Oh my goodness- OH my goodness I just cannot- I cannot express to you how touched I am by your words! Thank you, so so so so much, we are just over the moon you enjoyed the show! I’m going to try and respond to all your thoughts concisely here but it’s so difficult to think clearly through the great mood you’ve put me in!

Yes, by the end every single person in the company was vying to protect Chambers and by extension, Colton. He is very much like his character in real life, just a terribly sweet man. I remember one day he came in after getting a haircut, and his barber had nicked his ear a little. Between all of us, It was a collective transition of “Oh no are you okay?” to “that barber will pay.” I wanted Chambers’ problems to be a lot bigger in his head than they are in real life, because that is how anxiety can behave- that is until big BIG problems show up.

I am so glad you like Holly! (well I’m glad you like them all really.) and I’m so pleased you approve of her characterization. Writing for a modern day teen is always fun, especially when she’s set across from her ball of nerves young Godfather. With so many big personalities on stage, I felt like having someone very down to earth would make a welcome bouncepad for the audience, not to mention how utterly lovable Kapila is. (I forgot to mention in the bio that Kapila herself is in a band! Check out their soundcloud, they’re so sick!)-

Wh- Broadway-quality??…???????

Saoirse- I have been told- is fun, if nothing else. I admit, I always had a blast when I had to stand in for her when Rachel was absent. She is a singularity, a damn great singer, and completely hilarious. Rachel actually performs improv regularly! Saoirse is bad news. From her head to her toes, I wanted her to radiate just baaaad. (Danger, Charon Chambers, Danger!) Very much a red villainess in all her bloody glory.

Gosh- I’m still marveling at your praise, it’s got me shaking in my seat! Saoirse the Scream is also one of my favourite songs! (it went through so many iterations, I rewrote the lyrics so many times, trying to reach that perfect level of evil jauntiness.) And oh GOSH the ensemble absolutely brought it, didn’t they? Many of them had very little dancing experience, but their enthusiasm was unmatched and they’re all just such wonderful folks. (As a creator, I really, really wanted Albireo to be the type of show wherein anyone in any role is pumped, feels needed, important, essential and has a great time. The ensemble has presence. Without them, the show wouldn’t be what it is, and that’s the truth I wanted everyone to understand.)

Oh lord don’t even get me started on Wriker. That man is entirely too big and handsome, and I’m just so pleased you love him. “Two Halves”- as is the title in the script- was a challenge, as Jed is actually a rock singer by trade. He worked extraordinarily hard with this new style and really delivered. And YES those freaking eyebrows, lord I’m actually so enthused about that. Wriker’s dialogue is a complete amalgam, more about the personality, the delivery, than the actual words, and often times, Jed would mix it up in rehearsal but carry that character through effectively. He’s a good big brother. A bit brash, a bit selfish, a bit loud, but a good big brother.

“Well if I break them all, they’ll still match.” is my legacy, thank you.

Lyle and Laura are gifts, and that description of her is completely accurate. Catch those stock broker’s hands.

I am so, so, so glad, you love for all these dorks, it’s just… Such a wonderful thing. All this positivity, directed at my work, I cannot thank you enough for taking the time to watch the show, and write me such wonderful messages. Seriously, it means the absolute world to us over here. Thank you.

(We share favourites, though Siren’s Sword has a special place in my heart.)

((Also, my god my GOD please feel free to make fanart, write fanfiction, and let your creative colours fly! Just tag me so I don’t miss it!))

#Albireo #Rushed Albireo #Rushed productions #Rushwrites #AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #SO MANY WONDERFUL WONDERFUL WONDERFUL MESSAGES #i can't believe you've done this #I'M SO HAPPY #I'M GONNA CRY #AAAAA

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seahgreenhorn · 2 years ago

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We March On. . . 21st Century Love During a Time of Violence: Wayne & Sabrina Chap. Eight

A cloudless sky overhead stars welcomed Sabrina her congregation of friends old/young peers

exiting Latino Flair a family restaurant amid smiles, congratulations, cheers

for not only passing her finals graded high

but with a paper plus video highlighting creation which also diminished her fear of public speaking

all praises on Jah she did totally rely

since also through his theocratic school of which she'd been a part of for years edified her to this point

as she'd studiously with her father to this course adhered.

(Though never to graduate as always learning, adapting

with no levels to climb or goal of ever attaining tiers

or even being held back denoted to rears. Left behind.)

Remembering him now almost brought her to tears.

She hurriedly said her 'good-byes' before unrestrained her emotions to rain to spill

she quickened her steps to just over the hill promising to let them know the second she arrives

although, her heart starts to race as she passes by his resting place at a leisurely pace

knowing: "Now he's just ashes. Once alive with a handsome kind face."

Sabrina remembered the account of Lazarus about him Jesus said: "“Lazarus our friend has fallen asleep, but I am traveling there to awaken him.”

Then Martha's words to Jesus those 2, 000 years, a long time ago about her beloved brother

before he was raised from the dead:

"“I know he will rise in the resurrection on the last day.”" Referring to our time period just shortly ahead.

"And I have hope toward God, which hope these men also look forward to, that there is going to be a resurrection of both the righteous and the unrighteous."*

So in her head to her dear father these words from a poem she quoted:

Young men, you tender virgins, those stillborn in death too

Sweet sleep your gentle passage 'til called in glorious renew

your days to endless splendor your feet through golden sands;

though now: a time of danger anxiety for imperfect man.

Yes, sweet your sleep, you'll not remember;

as rising suns chase settling moons seventy/eighty years the living mourning

in cycles crying these shortened spans.*

She unlocks her door then immediately texts her friends although, thinking she'd be alone

with mom at work she'll through her dad's things freely roam.

When entering his library she'd almost dropped to her knees

unexpected a figure in the window highlighted by the moon

her mom almost had her to the floor in a heavy ugly swoon.

Her fright caused her to suddenly sneeze.

"Oh, querida!... Desculpe me." Her mom to Sabrina did flee.

"I didn't mean to frighten you." She amazingly squeezed her.

"No, mom. I'm okay. I just didn't you see. Thought I was alone in the house. That you'd gone to work to return about 3."

"No, Sabrina, you see, today it's extremely difficult for me. Your father and I,...

on this date, met.

Eu sou muito triste." She starts to immediately weep.

Almost melts to her feet.

Sabrina leads her to his leather chair placed in front of the fireplace. She lit a log sat on the ottoman with her fingers laced

waiting for her mom if she inclined to suddenly share.

Sabrina wanted to reach out her hand to replace behind her ears her long straight black hair

with each new day more silver strands

but she just sat with her in darkness knowing this was more comfortable for her mom

shy beyond measure before eyes staring to peer.

"Sabrina, I know you miss him as much as I do. What keeps you going? How each day you live steadily through?

I wish I knew or had the faith of you two.

All of these years, money mattered to me more.

Why I sent you to school. To acquire. To be inspired more to procure.

Now I have it... it means so much less without him anymore walking through that door."

Her head drops onto her shaking arms as she sobs

quaking Sabrina to her already sensitive core.

"Please, mom." she implores, "let me show you what I daily live for."

She takes out her phone clicks Isaiah 25:8 and begins to relate what Jehovah promises to obedient mankind in their tragic mourning state:

""He will swallow up death forever,

And the Sovereign Lord Jehovah will wipe away the tears from all faces.

The reproach of his people he will take away from all the earth,

For Jehovah himself has spoken it."

Here's another mom, let's read what Revelation 21:4 has to say:

"And he will wipe out every tear from their eyes, and death will be no more,

neither will mourning nor outcry nor pain be anymore.

The former things have passed away.”

Mom, God's word has value. Is of precious worth.

It helps me through stress, death and life."

Her mother raises her weary head to hear more of what the Bible said.

"You mean in heaven is of what it speaks?"

Sabrina again repeats: "The former things have passed away.”

"Former things" as to where they once were before.

Death in heaven, mom?" she asks gently. "No, never, for sure.

Notice what Isaiah 26:18 promises:

"“Your dead will live. My corpses will rise up. Awake and shout joyfully, You residents in the dust! For your dew is as the dew of the morning, And the earth will let those powerless in death come to life."

Come back to life on earth, Mom!

True, there is a resurrection to heaven, but for only a few who will reign as 'kings and priests with Christ'

over an earth renewed

their work to do."

Sabrina almost wept with joy for this opportunity which ensued.

A chance to help her mother learn what helped bond her with her earthly father

but more importantly with her heavenly Father too...TO BE CONT'D

Can the dead live again? https://wol.jw.org/en/wol/d/r1/lp-e/2016009#h=9:0-18:166

What Is the Resurrection? The Bible’s answer https://wol.jw.org/en/wol/d/r1/lp-e/502014163 © 27 minutes ago, Lucretia McCloud teen • hope • love • society • sad • rhyme

#death #resurrection #future #hope #world #death mention

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stephaniesramblings · 4 years ago

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That evil 3-letter word

I don’t remember how old I was when the thought 1st entered my head, but much younger than it should have, this I know. I recently tried to figure it out and I remember when I was in 4th grade, I would skip breakfast and throw away my bag lunch (Sorry Mom) hoping I would get skinny like my friends. I remember the anxiety anytime I was invited to a pool party or to go to the beach. I never wore a bathing suit without a long t-shirt to cover my thighs. “Thigh gap” wasn’t lingo then, but the insecurity still applied. For the women in my family being “chunky” is like our cross to bear or something. If I learned anything from my last relationship, it was that I need to work on this problem. That evil 3-letter word: F-A-T. I realized that no matter how many times someone tells me I look beautiful, perfect, great, etc I simply don’t believe it. So why not write about it and start some sort of accountability around the subject.

So to start with, the Truth of things:

“For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”

He made me and not only does He make no mistakes, but he knocked it out of the park when He made me.

“For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.”

Many of the translations said “Handiwork”, but I love the word masterpiece. It makes me feel like a Van Gogh painting. I am “The Starry Night” personified. Interesting though, in this verse, it sounds like when I am thinking about how ugly, fat, weak, human (hehe) I am, I'm actually inhibiting myself from doing the great things He wants me to do. This means my mindset matters. I never really thought about that before. I almost think of my “fat mindset” as part of who I am. Eek!

“You are altogether beautiful, my love, there is no flaw in you.”

Oh Song of Solomon, thank you! But seriously, this is how the Creator of the universe sees me? This blows my mind and humbles me. Something to think about when those negative thoughts sneak in. Like when I put on my jeans just out of the dryer, or see a picture of myself that horrifies me. It might seem silly, but it matters and it goes directly against what God says about me.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”

I am sure this verse is NOT referring to my sweet tooth, BUT I am weak in many areas around this subject of weight. It all goes back to my thinking though. So many things in life are that way it seems. I found when I went to a nutritional class the biggest pearl of wisdom I came out with was that eating is my mechanical response to emotions. Happy, sad, angry, stressed, bored, that is the go-to. I think that is common for a lot of people, but it helped to put my finger on it. So this is a weakness I have, but His grace is sufficient for me. What a relief!

So, it is wonderful to exercise and as you may have noticed from last time, I love being active. It helps me mentally for sure, and I know that’s science and what not. Our bodies are meant to move. Also, having a clean and healthy diet is very important for not just weight control, but preventing disease, and even positively impacting our environment. Not over indulging or eating as an emotional response is a big part of changing that muscle memory in my brain. Resetting those old habits.

The problem with all of this is that it rests on me and guess what? I am human. I will fail without help. That is just facts. I love Reese's peanut butter cups so much!

So, here are my current strategies:

First of all, I can’t trust my own inclinations. We are talking about 30 years of negative thinking patterns about myself.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.”

That verse was one of my Dad’s favorites. He wrote it in a number of Bibles and birthday cards over the years, and is my favorite verse as well. Just knowing that I don’t have to worry about making my paths straight, thank you! I seem to make them all curvy and weird on my own.

Positive thinking, an easy peasy guide to know if you’re doing it right:

“Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.”

If it’s not on the list, it’s probably not helping me. Simple as that.

And finally, trusting that when I am not able, He is able. Because inevitably I am going to have negative thinking days, but I can rebound. I can keep myself at peace knowing that God’s got me. He makes no mistakes, I am a beautiful creation, a work of art even, I cannot, or at the very least, should not deny it. I can have confidence in this. I can even put on a bathing suit and feel beautiful.

“You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.”

(Picture of 4th grade me with friends)

#health & wellness #self esteem #fat #positive mindset #mind reset #God's creation

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treadmilltreats · 4 years ago

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The steps to hear God's voice

In the last 8 years, every day that I wake up, I am in a constant state of grace and gratefulness.

I remember when I had hit rock bottom yet again and I realized that I had to give it all over to God. I realized that I could not do this on my own, it was too big for me to handle, I needed help, big help, I needed his help.

Now, when I talk about God and that this is my walk, you may or may not believe in the God that I do and that's fine. It's about whatever gets you through your day, if it works for you then it's good for you.

But this is what got me through my dark times, this is who I believed in to help change my life. See I had to learn that I needed to let go. I also learned that I only needed to look at the positive, and learn to be grateful for even the smallest things. Before becoming grateful for everything, I had to learn that I also needed to cut out negative people from my life, and I needed to forgive others but most importantly to forgive myself.

Yes, there are steps to get you where you want to go, and you ask will it be easy? Oh, you know that I won't lie to you….No, it's going to be hard as hell especially the part of forgiveness, when you will never get an apology yet still have to forgive and let go. I'm sorry I don't sugar coat anything. It will be hard, and you may be stuck at a few steps along the way but when you finally get there, to that place of peace and joy, it will be amazing!

So if your looking to start this journey here here are some questions to start with:

Do you only see the negative in life?

Is your entire faith walk driven by your senses?

Do you have to see it? Do you have to touch it for it to be true?

Faith is the belief in things unseen...

So if you want to know what worked for me here are the three steps that taught me to hear God's voice.

1- You must submit yourself to him.

He doesn't force you to want to hear him but he is there, he is waiting for you, if you seek him out. If you ask him for help, if you turn your life and your troubles to him.

2-Read and apply his word to your life.

Yes, we are all human and God knows how many times I have screwed up, but I keep trying to be better, I keep trying to apply his word to everything I do. I keep reading and listening to his voice because I make a decision. Since it is clearly obvious that my choices didn't work out so great.

3-Be spirit driven.

Always feel the spirit in you, it will tell what is right and wrong, it will guide you, it will fill your soul with peace and joy.

Last year I decided that my motto would be:

Where he leads me I will follow….

I know that he gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers.

Even if I didn't want them, he thinks I can handle them, so I will take them on.

That's it, I will not ask questions, I will not complain even if it was not what I wanted or prayed for. Whatever comes I will be grateful, I will give praise, I will not worry, it is not my will, it is his, I let it all go.

I decided I was not going to have an

Ego= Edging God Out

I obviously have made some really messed up decisions on my own, so I was going to quit and let him make them for me. And I have never had so much peace and joy as I have felt this year. Even through the pandemic, even though I had hardly any money coming in, even though I walked away from the love of my life. Even though I was struggling to help my daughter, who was battling depression. Even when the whole world had gone crazy and people you knew and loved were dying, I held on even tighter to God and his word.

This is what got me through, what continues to get me through, the many more setbacks I had this year with my arm surgery, my even more loss of income and my own depression I battled through, I hung on to that tiny mustard seed of faith and knew that he would take care of me.

Seriously what else can we do? I remember not eating, sleepless nights, being so overwhelmed trying to figure it all out. I remember my anxiety, my hair falling out and did that change anything in my circumstances? No, not one dam bit but God did. He taught me to trust him, to be calm, to give him all my problems and then just be, knowing he will handle them. Maybe not in the way I would or in my time frame but I knew it shall be done.

So today my friends I am here to tell you that this is my journey and how I got here. These are the steps and if it works for you great, if you got there another way, also great as long as each and every day you feel like you're living in a state of grace and gratitude, it is then you will know that you have found God's voice.

"Be the change you want to see"

@Treadmilltreats

Be the change you want to see"

"And just when the caterpillar thought his life over...he turned into a beautiful butterfly"

**Now released my latest book**

The Blessing in Disguise.... revealed

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dailyaudiobible · 4 years ago

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04/03/2021 DAB Transcript

Deuteronomy 23:1-25:19, Luke 10:13-37, Psalms 75:1-10, Proverbs 12:12-14

Today is the 3rd day of April welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I am Brian it is a joy to be here with you as we bring to a close of another week together, even as we begin a new month. It seems there’s like transitions happening all the time. And of course, we find ourselves right in the middle of a transition. This is Holy Saturday, and this is between Good Friday and Easter, right? So, this tension in between which is where we live so much of our lives. But this is this is a weird day, this day in between. It's…it's supposed to be, because Jesus, if we’re commemorating and observing this than we would understand that Jesus died yesterday. Like we observed and commemorated His death, which means that today He's dead. His body is lying in a tomb and it's been a lot of hours now. And even though His body was ravaged and what happened to him unthinkable He would've been cold. His body would’ve been cold lying in the tomb. And that…we don't want to think about any of that. It seems disruptive and uncomfortable because it's uncomfortable, because it's supposed to be. We sit in this tension today with just a ray of hope. And thankfully we know tomorrow comes and we know what that represents, and we know that we will rejoice. But if we’re putting ourselves back into the story than we don't know that yet. And that's the tension that we embrace as we move through this, the most important season, toward the most important day. If there's no Easter than we are in the wrong place at the wrong time doing the wrong thing. But thankfully that's not the case. And where in the right place at the right time, doing the right thing. And, so, let's reach out our foot and move forward and take the next step in the Scriptures as we continue our journey. We’re reading from the Contemporary English Version this week, which is today. Deuteronomy chapters 23, 24, and 25.

Prayer:

Father, we thank You for Your word. We thank You for another week in Your word, another week to allow Your Spirit to plant seeds in the soil of our hearts, another week to tend the garden of our hearts so that we are good soil, another week to look forward to the harvest. We also find ourselves here in the in between, in between death and life really. And this is what we’re contemplating today. We have sat with our sin through a season. We have observed and contemplated the cost and we are still in that tension hoping, hoping that there's some way. Even though we know how this story goes, even…even though we know there is a way and the truth and a life and that is You, Jesus, as we engage with the story that brought us to this moment, this is where we find ourselves in the in between, in the tension, in the place where we have to hope beyond hope. And, so, Holy Spirit come into that as we prepare our hearts for great joy in the morning. We pray this in the name of Jesus. Amen.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Hey guys it's Sparky from Texas and first of all I just wanted to tell everybody thank you for the prayers and you don't know how much it means when…when you're having a rough week and…and you hear prayers from Georgia and…and all over and it just…it means a lot. And I also wanted to tell the lady that saying I love you Lord that it broke me down in tears and on a job site standing on a ladder hearing that. I had a grandma who's passed away that when I was young would send me to church camp every summer and we were church Christ. And…and there were no instruments and hearing you sing that and from your heart I just…I wanted to let you know that he loves you too. I hope that you feel that because you made me feel something that…that's deep and a deep kind of love and He loves you very much. And I just want you to know that that was the most beautiful heartfelt…heartfelt thing that I've heard in a long time. And I just wanted to give you praise because your Father is very proud of you. And thank you again for your prayers, And I’m praying for all of you guys. Every time I hear a prayer request, I'm uttering prayer myself and to God. There going up and this is a real thing. And everybody be well and I hope you have a good rest of the week.

Hi this is Victoria Soldier I'm calling to wanted to call and pray for some of the DABbers. I want to thank all of my precious sisters and brothers for praying for my…for my sister-in-law and my nephew. It's her only son and she's in the hospital and…and he wound up in jail and she's trying to get to him but she's not able to get out and I just thank you all so very much for praying with me on this. And we just believe in…we just believe in great miracles. I also called to pray from Micah and his 16-year-old girlfriend that’s about to have the baby and God come in and bless like gangbusters and…and work a wonderful miracle in their life. I want to also pray for the…the young man who's in the military and…and is having a lot of challenges and he needs some direction. And I'm just praying that God would give him the direction and would speak to his spirit. I want to pray for Joseph from Australia. I want to pray for…for them for the deliverance in their household and I want to…I want to pray for…for…for the wife and…and the children that is going through the alcohol problem, the children with the alcohol problem and the single mother that is having challenges with the…with the kids. I want to also pray for the young woman who's suffering anxiety and depression. I want God to work a miracle there and I want to thank Duncan my piano man for his prayers also and I want to pray for him to continue to get those…those…those piano ones…ones that he can…those piano ones so that…that he can reach out to people and God can bless him and continue to strengthen him in the loss of his precious wife. Gracious Father we just praise...

Good morning family this is Delta Alpha Foxtrot calling from the central Texas front. I’m calling for urgent prayer for my friend Victor. He's been in the hospital the whole month of March with covid and was just intubated in…on Sunday. And, so, I just want to ask everyone lift him up, just pray for restoration and healing in his lungs, get rid of that pneumonia and just get rid of that covid from…from his body. I thank you all for praying. Want to shout to all my old friends out there, all the guys from wild at heart, to Blind Tony just everyone that's been praying through the years. Love you all. Love you Brian. Thank you for all that you do. This is Delta Alpha Foxtrot calling from the Central Texas front.

Hey family this is Sparky from Texas I just wanted to give you guys an update and a praise report. I just wanted to thank you all so much for prayers. And I…I'm sorry that I don't have to get names. Most of the time I'm working, and I have a headphone in my ear, but it is a big deal, and this is a very powerful family and I appreciate it. And like clockwork, I had…I had been suffering from depression and there was a lot to it and I had taken a test and I had very low testosterone and insanely low and as my wife and I got to looking through it, it's…if you're a male there's a lot of depression a lot of tired exhaustion, moods. And, so, I've got a doctor’s appointment scheduled for that and I just love all you guys. I'm praying for all of y'all and I just wanted you…wanted you all to know how powerful it is when that rings through and just I pray with every one of you everyone that goes up and I love you guys. Paula, I did pause it. I got your email. And to the ladies that have been praying for me, thank you. It means so much and I love you all and God loves you and God bless. Thank you for praying for me and my family.

Hi Daily Audio Bible my name is Mattie this is my first time calling but I've been on the Prayer Wall and I just appreciate the community here. I just need prayer and community. I am in my final semester of grad school and…and it's been tough because grad school is tough but also because we're in a pandemic and the community and belonging and just kindred spirits that I found in my classes, we aren't connecting the same way, obviously not being able to be together. And I'm not without hope and I'm not without motivation and desire to do a good job and to finish well but also, I am exhausted, and I struggle with depression and…and I'm just not doing how I normally am. And I feel like my normal support group, my normal friends, are in a way kind of doing their own things. So, I really, really, really would love prayer for that and my ability to connect with the Lord in this season of craziness. I recently started a new job and all of it together I just feel like I'm…I'm not going to finish which I am but it's a lot. So, I would appreciate your prayer. Thank you so much I appreciate you Daily Audio Bible family.

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charlotte-bane-blog · 7 years ago

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Challenge 1: Charlotte Bane

I didn’t edit this so I am truly and deeply sorry for all the mistakes and typos, but I hope whoever reads this that they enjoy it :) People mentioned: @berklee-boyer @alinaschreave @domschreave @princepercyschreave @princesslillianschreave

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It’s easy to let your guard down. It’s easy to make mistakes. But five sets the record.

I was used to attending formal events growing up, but not as an invited guest. I’d be lying if I didn’t admit I was completely terrified and insecure. Being a six in a room full of ones and twos was enough to knock down my ego a few pegs.

As my maids proceeded to set my hair and apply my makeup, I couldn’t help but think of the recently eliminated. There were girls sent home that I never imagined I’d make it further than. The process made me feel special but terrified. I felt that I could be thrown out at a moment’s notice.

“I’m not okay,” Berk exclaims as she swings open the door, effectively interrupting my thoughts.

My poor maid, startled, dropped her brush and glared at my blonde friend. “Berklee! What?”

“I don’t know! Something about my hair doesn’t seem right!”

I examined her hair to try to figure out what her issue was. “What about it?”

Berklee looked at me as if I was stupid before her faced formed into one of thought. “I don’t know. Like it looks amazing. Maybe I’m just nervous. Like what do you even do at a ball?”

I chuckled at her rambling. “Your hair is definitely gorgeous. And does it look like I would know? Aren’t you the know it all three,” I grinned.

“Stop,” she rolled her eyes. “But do I look okay?”

I let out a sigh. “You look beautiful, trust me.”

“Girl, you look so much better.”

I smiled a bit to myself. It was nice to be complemented once in awhile. With my former profession, I was used to being the one to offer my praise. This all felt so new, yet amazing. “I’m not even fully dressed,” I retorted, gesturing to my robe.

Berk gave me a flat look. “Whatever. Hurry up.”

“Just a second,” I hushed. “I have to finish up my hair. How is it by the way?”

“I love it! The twists are super cute,” she grinned.

I smiled and nodded at her before walking into my closet with my maid. She helped me into the gown since there was no possible way of me getting it on or off single handedly. Once the job was done, I stepped out to show Berk. “Here, how’s this?”

“Oh my god. That’s amazing! It’s so pretty! It’s so you!” The dress was a gorgeous emerald color that reached the floor. There was a 90% chance I’d end up tripping over it at least once tonight.

“Thanks, Berk,” I said awkwardly. “We should probably head over now. Wouldn’t want to be late.”

With that said, Berk and I made our way out of the room and down to the ball. I was met with beautiful decorations and a striking wave of anxiety. I took a deep breath and walked towards the Bitch Squad for a small photo session with the press. I smiled at them and spoke to them for a bit before leaving the group. I still have no clue why I left. I probably should’ve stayed with a friend to help my nerves. But, alas, I had made the first mistake of the night.

I glanced around the room before deciding to busy myself with a few refreshments. I noticed a guard eyeing me closely, so I grabbed a drink, hoping it would discourage him from starting a conversation with me. This plan did not work.

“Hey, princess, how are you,” the guard smirked.

I looked at him out of the corner of my eye uneasily. “I'm… uh… okay.”

He inched closer to me. “Wanna dance?”

I stepped back. “I don’t think so…”

“You sure?”

“Positive.”

The guard leaned back. “Alright, but find me when you change your mind. Because you will.”

I cringed. “Okay…” I definitely wasn’t going to change my mind. I stepped away from him quickly and looked around for an easy exit or distraction. I was definitely distracted as I saw Evan and Kat talking. Percy had mentioned before of his thoughts toward the pair. He said he felt his brother was a bit hypocritical. Evan must’ve thought the same thing since he seemed to leave Kat quite suddenly. Huh, I thought.

I found a comfortable area to sit in as I watched the ball go on. I was kicking myself for not enjoying this ordeal like all the other Selected seemed to. This could be your life, I scolded myself. You have to get a grip.

Pulling me out of my thoughts, an older woman strutted towards me regally. “Is there something wrong, darling, or are you just not a party person?”

I looked up a bit startled. It was Princess Lillian, Percy’s mom. This should be fun. “Everything’s fine,” I smiled weakly. “This is just a bit new for me.”

Lillian sneered down her nose as if she thought she was better than everyone else. She probably did. “Well, you’d better get used to it if you ever hope to join the royal family.”

Though what she had said was true and something I had already told myself, I wasn’t comfortable with the way she spoke to me. To be honest, it sounded like my own mother.

“Guess you’re right. My apologies, your highness,” I said, gritting my teeth. “I didn’t mean to offend you so greatly.” I didn’t sound sincere at all.

“Of course you didn’t.” Do you not understand sarcasm, Mrs. Schreave? Lillian eyed me more carefully. Part of me was worried she could read my mind. “Which one are you again?”

Should I say someone else’s name, I asked myself. Nope, definitely not. That would end very badly. “Charlotte, ma'am.”

Her eyes flashed with recognition. “Ahh, you’re the one my youngest is so obsessed with.”

Youngest? “Callie? Funny. I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting her yet.”

“No, I mean Percy of course.” Poor, ignored Callie.

“Right, Percy. I’m not sure I follow.”

Lillian pinched the bridge of her nose. “What don’t you follow dear girl? It’s not that complicated.”

My patience was definitely running out with this woman. Whatever I had drunken earlier wasn’t helping my control at all. “I don’t follow,” I began slowly, “why you would choose the word ‘obsessed’. It’s not that complicated,” I mocked.

“You’re all he talks about. You’re all the media talks about in regards to him. Seems like an obsession to me.” This woman didn’t seem too fond of this realization.

I shrugged. “I prefer the word ‘interested’, don’t you? Sounds less crazy. You wouldn’t want people thinking your son was crazy.”

“My son is crazy, darling. Both of them are, in their own ways. The trick is just learning to accept it.”

Don’t say it, Charlotte. Don’t say it.

“Did you also accept yourself?”

Why? Why did I do that? This would be the second mistake of the night.

“Excuse me,” Lillian blurted.

Shoot. I have to fix this. “Just that if your sons are both crazy, in lovable ways I assume, wouldn’t you say you are too?” Total B.S.

Lillian look absolutely appalled. “No, of course I am not! How dare you accuse me as such,” she exclaimed.

“I didn’t accuse you of anything. I simply asked a question.”

“Mmhmm. A question insinuating that I am, in fact, crazy. Which I am clearly not.” Yeah…

I simply nodded. “Clearly.”

Lillian crossed her arms. “Well, is there anything else or are you able to enjoy my party now?” Oh yes, I’m just having a grand time.

“I’m enjoying it immensely,” I grit out. “Thanks for asking.” There wasn’t a genuine bone in my body in that moment.

“Excellent. Have a nice rest of your evening,” she responded before turning to leave. When she finally walked away, I let out a deep sigh. Lillian was the mother of Evan, Percy, and Callie. I haven’t met Callie or Evan personally but I knew they weren’t awful. And Percy… he wasn’t too bad.

I forced myself to stand up. I may not have been having the best of times, but I might as well try to be social for a bit. If I was feeling miserable after trying, I’d leave. Simple as that.

I spotted Berklee and decided to make some conversation. “Hey, Berk. Enjoying yourself?”

She turned around and smiled at me. “Yeah expect that my feet are killing me. You?”

“Horrible. I just got done having a lovely conversation with Princess Lillian.”

“What happened,” she asked concerned.

“I was already feeling pretty awkward and she wasn’t really happy about that. But, she said her youngest was obsessed with me. I’ve never even met Callie. She did correct herself and say Percy, but whatever. You’ve spoken to Callie, right,” I rambled.

“Yes I have. She’s the cutest,” Berklee grinned. She really seemed to love that girl. “She’s right over there if you want to talk to her.” She pointed over to a little girl with blondish hair.

“Yeah, sure. Why not?” Berklee grabbed my hand and led me over to the youngest royal. Callie was a whirlwind of energy. She was pretty funny for a little kid. Though the moment she mentioned that I seemed to be the topic of conversation quite frequently. “Oh!! YOU’RE Charlotte!!” Callie exclaimed after I was introduced by Berklee.

“I’M Charlotte?”

Callie grinned. “Yeah. I keep hearing your name, but didn’t know what you looked like.” This little girl seemed to have a mischievous glint in her eye. She acted innocent, but I had a feeling she knew exactly what she was talking about.

Berklee and I shot her a questioning glance. “You keep hearing her name,” Berk asked.

“Yeah. Dom and Percy talk about her a lot.” I flushed at her response. I hoped it wasn’t anything too awful. It probably wasn’t bad at all. Percy and Dom were interesting guys, but I doubted they were the type to gossip. I think.

Callie continued to ramble about her silly antics and never fail to embarrass me with talk about her brother and cousin. She was a good kid.

Berk and I said our goodbyes as she left to enjoy more of the ball. I stood there for a moment thinking about what else I could do to pass the time and maybe actually have fun there.

“Hey there, angel,” someone whispered from behind me, sliding their arms around me.

I jumped away from the person and whipped around. “Jeez, what is wrong with you!? You scared me half to death,” I yelled at Percy.

He simply laughed. “Sorry, I thought it was funny.”

“I’m sure you did.” I retorted sarcastically. “What are you doing over here?”

“Just… came to check in on things. How are you feeling about being at your first ’royal ball’,” he said with raised brows and finger quotes.

“Not… well to be honest. Lots of anxiety in me at the moment,” I sighed and offered him a small smile.

“Why? Just cause I scared you,” he teased.

“No.” I rolled my eyes. “Because I’m not used to this. It’s stressful doing new things, I’ve come to learn.”

Percy shrugged. “Yeah, I get that. But seriously, there’s nothing to worry about here. It’s just the Selected and my family. No big deal. It’s not like you need to worry about the Czar of Russia showing up or anything.”

“But I do need to worry about Illean Royalty being here,” I pointed out.

“Nah, we’re not as special as people think. Really, just be yourself and you’ll be fine. Or just ignore them. That works too,” he joked. Percy looked around the room. “Listen, I have to be seen talking to more than one person, but if you can survive the rest of this ball, I’ll save the last dance of the night for you. Okay?”

“Okay.” Not okay. I really didn’t want to left by myself. I didn’t want him to leave.

Percy gave me an encouraging smile before walking away. I watched his retreating figure and say him turn towards the direction of Aricia. My chest tightened.

I never considered myself an overly emotional person. Everything I felt, I usually kept inside, and I was not about to let it all out. I needed to get out of there.

I stalked towards the exit and say Alina by the door. I figured I’d at least greet her. Looking back, I wish I hadn’t. Don’t get me wrong, I love Alina. But what I did next shone that moment in a negative light. “Oh… Hey Alina.”

“Charlotte,” she exclaimed, drink in hand. “Where are you going?”

I wracked my mind for an excuse. “Just thought I’d take an early night.”

“Noooo! What happened?” She was clearly drunk.

“Nothing,” I glanced towards the dancing couple. “This just isn’t really my scene. I just haven’t gotten used to all this yet.”

“Well that’s because you haven’t had anything to drink!” Alina looked at me as if I was crazy. “Come on, let’s find out what you like!”

“I don’t know, Alina… “ I’ve never had a real drink before. I wasn’t sure if I could even hold my liquor. Percy and Aricia weren’t worth getting drunk over. I looked over towards them again and practically threw my last thought out the window. “You know what? Never mind. I’ll try those pink drinks.” And that was the third mistake.

“Hell yeah you will!” Alina dragged me towards the refreshment table and grabbed me a glass.

I took a sip of the blushed liquid. I burned a bit but had a fruity aftertaste. “It’s not that bad, I guess.”

“It’ll get worse if you keep sipping it like that! Chug!” Wait, what? I wanted to say no. I should’ve said no. I didn’t say no.

I took a deep breath and drank a large gulp. “Oh my God, what’s in this?”

“Keep going,” Alina encouraged and ignored my question. “You can’t get drunk off one glass, so you better chug faster.”

Stupidly, I followed suit. I finished the drink and pressed my palm to my forehead. I still wasn’t feeling it. By then, I wanted to. I wanted it to distract me. “Give me another.”

It took about three drinks to really get to me. It really got to me. “I think we’re done now,” Alina giggled.

I was beginning to why people drank and also why they didn’t. “The room is spinning, oh God,” I stumbled. “This night sucks. Like super sucks.”

“Why?!”

“People. People suck.” He sucks. “You know what, I wanna dance. I’m going to dance.” Before Alina could even get a word in, I stormed onto the dance floor. I needed a dance partner. Maybe that creep of a guard from earlier. Yeah, he’d work. I search the room for him, trying my best to clear my blurred mind. I spotted a tall guy with brown hair and figured it was him. Even if it wasn’t, it didn’t matter. I just needed someone. “We should dance.” I grabbed the guard before recognizing him as someone else. “Oh wait… uh. You’re not the guard from earlier…”

Prince Dominic Schreave. Of course.

That was my fourth mistake of the night.

“Well, hello there, Charlotte.” Dom smirked.

“Your highness… I’d curtsy, but I don’t think it’s possible in this position.” Dom and I were a dancing form. I was trying my best to act ‘not drunk’. I’m pretty sure I was failing. I was sure he could smell the alcohol in my breath. Just great.

“No need to curtsy. Are you feeling okay? You seem a little… high-strung.” He glanced at me worriedly.

“It’s just really hot in here. Do you think it’s hot in here?”

“I don’t know. Hmm… maybe it’s just you,” he winked.

I let out an overly loud laugh. Yeah, that’s not obvious at all. “You’re so funny! Who knew you were so funny? Wow.”

“Yeah, I am pretty funny… Are you sure you’re feeling okay?”

“Is ‘no’ an acceptable answer?” I grinned.

Dom raised his eyebrows. “Is there anything I can do to help?” Probably not, I thought. That’s what the drinks were for.

“Tell me what’s in the pink drinks they’ve been serving here?”

“The Amarula Sunsets? Please tell me you didn’t drink one…” Dom looked actually freaked out now. How sweet. He wasn’t the one I wanted to worry.

“I didn’t drink one. I drank three,” I giggled.

Dom’s eyes widened. “Holy… Charlotte, those things are filled with vodka! And I’m guessing you haven’t had much of a chance to drink in the past, so you haven’t built up any tolerance… maybe someone should take you back to your room…”

“No, no I’m fine. I’ll be fine,” I stumbled. “I’m so sorry. This is really embarrassing…” I looked over towards Percy, hoping he didn’t see that, but didn’t spot him at all. Where was he?

“Charlotte, are you okay,” ran over and asked frantically. Speak of the devil and he shall appear.

“I’m fine,” I grumbled.

Percy glared at me. “You don’t look fine.” He looked over to Dom. “What happened?”

I hated he looked at me that way. I hated that it bothered me at all. I didn’t want my emotions to get out, yet I let them get the best of me. I drank to make myself forget them, but lost control of them altogether.

“She drank too many of those Sunsets,” he replied.

Percy ran a hand through his hair. “Char, why would you do something so stupid?”

“I didn’t realize what was in them,” I bit. I may not have known what type of alcohol was in those drinks, but I knew what I was doing. In the back of my mind I knew I was being stupid. “You’re stupid.”

Dom nodded towards Percy and stepped away, seeing he could handle this.

“Why am I stupid, angel? You’re the one drinking things when you don’t know what they are.” I knew.

“Th-they were pretty.” I stumbled again and fell into Percy. God, this was embarrassing. I was so pissed off. And for what? A guy? What would my mother think…

Percy catches me. “Maybe I should take you to your room…”

“Don’t flirt with me,” I slurred into his shirt.

He let out a laugh. “For once, I’m not trying to. Come on,” he said as he led me towards the doors.

From that point, I can only remember mumbling random things to Percy. As we got closer to my room, a strong wave of nausea hit me. “I feel like I’m going to be sick.”

Percy groaned. “Ok, let’s hurry this up.” He picked me up bridal style and raced me into my room.

“Percy, I swear to God if you drop me…”

He grinned wickedly. “Never.”

“Put me down anyway,” I scolded. “You have to leave. I’m going to be sick. Why the hell do people drink?” I knew why I did at least.

“No, I gotta make sure you don’t choke on your own puke. And I don’t have any clue why people drink. I guess to make themselves seem more interesting. I’ve never had any interest though,” he responded as he carried me into my bathroom and set me down.

“You’re already interesting.” I dropped to the toilet and leaned over to breathe. Percy gathered my hair up and held it back.

“Exactly why I don’t need to drink. And neither do you.”

It was quiet for a little while as I steadied my breathing. The feeling of throwing up was beginning to leave. “I think I’m fine. Nausea passed.”

Percy rubbed my back. For the second time that night, my chest tightened. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“This was the worst night ever,” I said lowly.

He chuckled. “It absolutely was not the worst night ever. I have had SO much worse.”

“Did you make a complete fool of yourself in front of someone you’re supposed to try to impress,” I retorted.

“You ever heard of strip poker?”

“You’ve played strip poker? You’re 17.” Sure, I was one to talk. I was getting drunk at 17.

“Yeah. Word of advice, never play it when an African King is in the next room over. And you’re playing against his daughter.”

“Of course. His daughter,” I muttered and rolled my eyes.

“Yeah… being a little drunk in front of a few minor royals is nothing compared to that… You should’ve seen Uncle Jameson’s face,” Percy laughed humorlessly and shook his head slightly.

“Are you okay?” I actually worried about Percy. I wasn’t exactly sober but I wasn’t fully drunk either. I wanted him to talk to me.

“Yeah, just… I’ve made a lot of stupid mistakes in my life… Well, I think you need to get to bed. Sleep off the embarrassment and hope you don’t wake up with a wicked hangover.”

The room became quiet. “You never danced with me.”

Percy looked at me nervously. “Are you…,” he cleared his throat to continue. “Are you feeling well enough for a dance?”

I looked looked up hesitantly. “Are you asking me to dance?”

Percy stared at me for a moment. I couldn’t make out the look on his face. “Yeah, I guess I am.”

“Then I feel well enough.”

Percy smiled softly. “Well, okay then.” He pulled me closer to him and let me rest my head on his shoulder as we began to sway slightly.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered.

Percy tightened his hold on me. “What are you sorry for, angel?”

“For being an idiot,” I started. “For getting jealous and not thinking.”

Percy jerked in surprise. “Jealous? Of what?”

I glanced up at him and shook my head quickly. “N-nothing. It’s nothing.”

“No, tell me… Please.” The look on his face and in his eyes told me I couldn’t lie or refuse him. I wanted to.

I dropped my head. “You… other girls… her.”

Percy let out a breath. “You know I have to dance with other girls if they ask, right?”

I looked away quickly. “I know. Of course I know that.”

“Then why’d you let yourself get so drunk? I know it wasn’t entirely an accident. You’re too smart for that.”

“That’s the thing, Percy. I’m not smart. I’m a six. I’m a stupid maid. I can’t be some princess or three,” I pointed out. I knew I wasn’t exactly his type. I knew there was no point to what I’d done tonight. There was no point to any of this. I was a pastime for him. I wasn’t a real prospect. I was just me.

Percy stared at me. “You were smart enough not to trust me at first.”

“I wasn’t smart enough to not let myself get hurt so easily by trivial things that… that shouldn’t even concern me.” I ran my hand through my hair. It was a while before we said anything.

“Everyone has their limitations, it’s nothing to be ashamed of.” I scoffed at his joke. “Anyway, you really should be getting some sleep…”

“Maybe I should…” Percy made no move to leave. “I’m still in my dress.”

He grinned. “Do you need help getting out of it?”

I looked down quickly. “Actually, yes.”

Percy flushed and I strangely loved the sight. “Oh, um…. What do you normally sleep in?”

“Whatever is given to me. Usually a night gown. They’re in the closet over there,” I gestured.

Percy nodded and walked to the closet. He ruffled through the hangers before pulling out a skimpy nightgown. He turned around with a questioning look and his signature smirk.

“Definitely not. Grab the white one,” I said flatly.

He chuckled and pulled it out. “I see. So you’re going for the pure, virginal one.” Nothing wrong with that.

“You don’t call me angel for nothing.”

He smiled slightly. “Alright, turn around.” I followed suit. “Hold onto your dress.” I grabbed the front and held it to my chest. Percy slowly pulled down the zipper of my dress. The whole ordeal felt very intimate. Time seemed to slow down and everything faded away. Every problem outside my top was silenced.

When the zipper reached its final point, Percy stilled for a moment. He began to speak but his voices cracked. I smiled to myself. “Ok I’m going to put the nightgown over your head,” he instructed. “So now you can drop the dress.”

“Okay,” I responded quietly. I dropped my dress and tugged the nightgown down fully. I turned around slowly. “Thanks, Percy.”

“You’re welcome, Char,” he replied sincerely. “Alright.” Percy put his hands under my knees and lifted me up. “Let’s get you to bed.” He carried me over and gently set me onto my bed, lifted the covers, and tucked me in. He stood back up to leave.

“Percy, wait.”

“What?”

I hesitated before reaching up to kiss him on the cheek. “You’re a good guy.”

He stared at me with wide eyes and let out a small laugh. “I know, but people never seem to realize it…” He looked at me seriously. “Are you going to be okay now, angel?”

“Yeah,” I said softly. “I’ll be okay.”

He took my hand in his and squeezed it before letting it go. “Good night, Char.” Percy walked to the door but hesitated like he was nervous to leave. With one last glance, he stepped out of the room.

That was my fifth and final mistake of the evening– letting him.

#challenge 1 #ch 1

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tooktoolongtogetthis97 · 6 years ago

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My Experience in the Holy Lands

While leaving the Holy Lands, I started to sit here and think why I came in the first place. I have been going through a lot in the last number of years especially 2018. I've honestly lost my faith as things kept getting worse. I still was involved physically at church but spiritually I felt like I was stuck at the bottom of a trench. I was drowning and in the dark with no visible way to get to where God was. All I wanted was to feel Jesus' presence in my life again. But as this week came closer and closer although I was excited, I was still so apprehensive about the trip and if I really would get something special out of it. Even as the week started, I started thinking "am I making a huge mistake?" The trip over turned out to be a logistical nightmare which involved me to add an extra country and arrive in Tel Aviv 33 hours after I was supposed to (and others had it worse). I had a massive anxiety attack which I had to suppress while being interviewed by El Al staff so I could fly into Israel from Amsterdam which unfortunately was only 1 of many major and minor mental attacks (and a relaspe) to come. To put the icing of the cake of the terrible trip over, United lost our luggage and we didn't get them til 2-4 days after we got here. So with all of this, I was feeling almost more lost than I have been.

Although I didn't have quite the experience I was expecting, I did start to feel Jesus' presence as I walked in his footsteps with other people from my church. Everywhere we went, there was a presence there and it added to me. There were 4 specific places that had to biggest impact on me.

1. On Saturday, I got to reaffirm my baptism in the Jordan River. I was an infant when I was baptized so I have no recognition of it. I also was confirmed into the church when I was 13, but at the time I'm not 100% sure if I completely understood what I was doing despite a year of study and I felt as if I was expected to be confirmed. This gave me an opportunity as an adult to make the conscious decision to allow Jesus and God in my life. When I back out of the water, I feel something I didn't before going under (and not just being more wet). I feel a bit of calmness.

2. On Sunday, we went to Bethlehem. One of the places we went was the Church of Nativity which is built over the stable (although really a cave fun fact) where Jesus was born. This church is actually run by 3 different denominations: Roman Catholic, Greek Orthodox, and Armenian. Well when we went to go into the cave to see the birth place and the manager (made of stone not wood another fun fact), the Armenian service was about to start so we weren't going to be able to go in except we had an Armenian with us. She asked the priest if we could come in and as long as we were completely silent, respectful, and stand for the whole 40-60 minute service, we could go in. So we go in and I'm in awe of both the space (it was the birthplace of my Saviour after all) and the service. They were speaking/chanting/singing in Aramaic (which is the language of Jesus) and burning incense and the priest almost always had his back turned as if he was one of the audience members. Getting to see how another denomination prays and praises our Saviour was amazing. Well the parts I remember anyway... During that service (somewhere between 10 and 20 minutes into it), I have one of the worst anxiety attacks I've had in years. My guess is due to the small space with lots of people (~40 at most) and the unfamiliarity of Armenian services is why I had the attack. In the midst of the attack growing, the Armenians greeted the first couple of rows of people and told them to turn and share the peace with those behind them, and behind me was Matt (my pastor). He noticed something was wrong and whispered to me "what can I do?" At this point I had no idea what he could do because the attack was so bad, but it was a God sighting to me at least because without telling him what I needed, he instinctively started to comfort and reassure me. I don't know how I would've gotten through that service if it weren't for Matt.

3. On Monday, we went to the city of Jerusalem (within the walls) and the first stop we made was to the Pools of Bethesda. This is where Jesus healed the lame man of 38 years who was not able to make it into the healing baths on his own (John 5: 1-13). This is one of my favourite Bible stories so it was awesome being able to see where it happened. We did a healing service and just looking around and especially where that photo was taken (over the south pool), I felt this peace that although was brief in that moment, nothing else mattered and the words to Amazing Grace came to me and I sang quietly to myself. The other thing I prayed for was a sense of healing (mentally). In that moment I may not have received mental healing, but I definitely received some spiritual healing.

4. Also in Jerusalem, we were walking the path of the 14 stations of the Cross (theoretically/traditionally where it's located). Most of that walk was uphill to the Church of the Holy Sepulcher. It was in a marketplace which was a bit distracting, but it blew my mind that Jesus had to walk up that hill after being badly beaten and lugging a huge heavy cross and well being humiliated. Thinking about what my Saviour endured for me and others is enough to help me feel His presence again.

This trip has taught me so much more than I expected (spiritually, historically, and mentally). I finally felt His presence again and now know how to look for Him when I become lost because He never leaves even if you feel like He does. I can look for Him in people like the awesome ones from this trip, in memories like the pictures I took, and in the music I hear and sing. I also learned that I need to open up more because there are people who want to help but can't if they don't know what's going on.

Big thanks to Matt and Anne for running the trip and always being there. Big thanks to EO for the trip and working with us with all of the mix ups (even though it wasn't their fault) and our awesome tour guide for teaching us everything. Thanks to all of my surrogate parents who kept an eye out for me since I was traveling alone.

Shalom

#christainity #israel #holy lands #living with mental illness #anxiety attack #personal #my experience #faith

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