#and I'm not even formally trained in animation!

[phoenixiancrystallist]

Day 28, did a lot of work tonight! Added a few more in-between frames, worked on actually making everything flow a bit better, tried to fix volumes and anatomy, fucked other volumes and anatomy up, and in general got closer to fully animating a walk cycle! I have a lot more work to do before I'm ready to clean this up and tie everything down and actually turn it into Mizu, but I'm making progress and learning a lot!

[writing-intheundercroft]

Ser Freckles // S. Sallow

Rating: T

WC: 2,743

Summary: As heir to the throne, the princess takes appointing her sworn protector very seriously.

A/N: Submitted as part of a writing challenge because I'm a glutton for starting AU projects. inspired heavily by HOTD (I've been looking for an excuse to use the name Gawayne). Much love to the pals who keep Knight!Seb living in my brain <3

“Now that you are of age, and officially the heir to the throne, it’s time you appoint your first sworn sword.”

She looked up to Fig as they walked down the stone stairs, the excited chatter from the courtyard echoing off the walls.  Fig had been her tutor all her life, and only now did she realize her lessons with him had a greater purpose.  She was the only daughter of the king’s dearly departed brother, a king who lacked any heirs of his own.  And now that she’d turned eighteen, with no hopes for a male cousin in sight, she had been formally invested as the heir apparent.

Fig was no lowly court tutor, she realized. He’d been placed with her from her youth, preparing her for what had seemed like a distant possibility that she might one day become queen. Lord Eleazar Fig, a member of the King’s Counsel, had been priming her to take power all along.

”I’m not sure why I can’t keep Lady Singer,” she mumbled, kicking her skirts as they continued their descent. “She’s been my guardian for as long as I can remember.”

”Lady Singer is a governess,” Fig reminded her. “And in no way capable of being your sworn protector.  The young man you choose today will become a knight, sworn to your king's guard.  Can you remind me what the function of your king's guard is?”

”My queen’s guard,” she snipped, emphasizing the word, “will protect my counsel and me from harm, as well as my future heirs.”

“Precisely, Princess.” Fig smiled. “It’s largely a symbolic role considering the relative peace our realm has seen this past one hundred years, even more so with the city watch taking guard of the castle.  But the king—er, queen’s guard is a deep rooted tradition each house takes very seriously.  The gentlemen we’ve assembled today for your selection come from some of the great houses of the realm.  Others have been lauded for their bravery and skill in the battlefield.”

The princess and Lord Fig walked to the balcony, the crowd below falling into silence. There were six men (boys, she observed, especially considering she’d grown up with four of them around court) standing in the courtyard below.  They all wore gleaming armor, save for the last, wearing a dull set without embellishments.  Each had a pennant with their house sigil, members of their families standing behind them. The animals on each pennant were embroidered with gleaming metallic thread–lions, eagles, badgers, and snakes taking center, representing the great houses each family bowed to. 

Lord Fig took her hand, helping her stand on a stool to catch a better glimpse of her future knight.

”The first proposed candidate is Ser Leander Prewett,” Fig stated loudly. “Ser Leander is the second son of Lord Lyonel Prewett.  He is a fine duelist, trained by one of the land’s most notable swordsmen.”

She cocked her brow, observing the redhead below.  Tall, lithe, with a glorious mane of red hair.

”And rather shit on a horse,” she muttered under her breath. “Did you see him in the last tourney?”

”Horsemanship is not a requirement of a knight, Princess.” Fig muttered.

”He truly had no idea if he was facing the front, or the back.” She joked. 

Lord Fig concealed his laugh in a cough. He waved his arm, and Leander’s gleaming smile vanished into a rather sour expression as the next option stepped forward.

”Ser Garreth Weasley,” Fig announced. “The third son of Lord Gwayne Weasley.”

”I know Ser Garreth well,” she smiled demurely. “Is it not one of the oaths as my queen’s guard to take no wife, have no children, and to be sworn to uphold the duties of the crown until death or dismissal?”

”It is, Princess.”

She clicked her tongue. “I know very well my dear friend Lady Natsai would be quite upset if I took her beloved to my service.  I’d rather see the two of them happily married than split apart by duty.” She waved him backwards, knowing Natty would be pleased.  Garreth stepped back, cheeks red, but a relieved look on his face.

“The next option is Ser Amit Thakkar,” Fig looked down at his notes. “Son of the Dowager Lady Tara Thakkar. No notable tourney experience, he’s been—“

”Away for his studies in the new world,” the princess interjected. “I know Ser Amit quite well. Tell me, Ser, how was your research on the skies?  Anything new to report?”

“I’ve identified at least twelve constellations once lost to our maesters,” Amit announced excitedly. “And I do look forward to finding more.”

She tilted her head to Fig, eyebrows raised. “I do believe Ser Amit’s talents are better used with the college of maesters, rather than as a member of my queen’s guard.”

”Moving on,” Fig tutted. “Ser Duncan Hobhouse, son of—“

”No.”

”Okay, on to the next.” Fig winced, letting the young Duncan Hobhouse step back with a sigh. “Next is Ser Isaac Cooper. Son of Ser Tristan Cooper, the Lord Commander of the city watch.  Strong, steady, and good with a lance.  Ser Isaac has topped the tourney lists, specifically winning the tourney of Aranshire this past spring. ”

The princess chewed her lower lip as she appraised Ser Isaac.  He stood tall, black hair cropped closely to his head. His parents stood behind him proudly bearing the badger on their sigil.  Isaac gave her a beaming smile, followed by a rather obvious wink.

“I look forward to serving you, my princess, in all ways you see fit.” Isaac said loudly, followed by a showy bow. A gaggle of young ladies on the upper balcony giggled audibly, Ser Isaac blowing a kiss to his admirers.

The princess gagged, wrinkling her nose as she turned back to her tutor. 

”A tourney knight,” she huffed. “Tell me, Lord Fig, do any of these knights have real combat experience?”

Fig sighed deeply, beckoning forward the sixth option.  It was the knight in plain armor; unlike the others, he did not have a large gathering of family members behind him.  A thin, peaky girl stood by his side, wobbling on her feet as their sigil shook in her hands. The green velvet of the flag looked worn, but a silver snake had been embroidered into the fabric with metallic thread, red beads for eyes.  Behind them was a stern looking man, beard peppered with silver hairs.  

The boy paid them no attention, standing forward with his head bowed to her. 

“Ser Sebastian Sallow,” Fig cleared his throat. “The nephew of Ser Solomon Sallow, a former knight of the city watch.  He was dismissed from his post after the death of his brother, taking on the stewardship of his young niece and nephew.  Ser Solomon and his nephew Sebastian have taken the responsibility of patrolling the lower highlands, protecting their hamlets from ashwinders and poachers.”

She leaned forward over the railing, interest piqued by the humble knight below. “Tell me, Ser Sebastian, of your experience fighting against the ashwinder rebellion.”

He lifted his head, big brown eyes framed by an explosion of freckles. He had a round, boyish face for eighteen, thick brown hair descending in waves. A blush took over his cheeks as he dipped his head once more.

”I have fought against the ashwinders for the past five years, Princess.  For as long as my uncle has allowed me.” He said, tipping his head back towards the stern man. “The lower hamlets rarely see reinforcements from the city watch, so it is up to the residents themselves to gather arms.”

“And when did you become a knight, Ser Sebastian?”

Sebastian turned briefly to look at his uncle, who merely nodded. “The Lord Commander of the city watch was passing through our hamlet when he witnessed me apprehending a cohort of ashwinder assassins.” He adjusted his grip on the helmet in his hands, metal clanking as he shifted.  Unlike the others, there were no grand decorations, no feathery plumes attached to the helmet.  It was practical, well-worn steel that had seen battle many times before. “He knighted me on the field, after the battle.”

”One boy against twenty ashwinders,” Fig whispered in her ear. “Quite a feat.”

She braced her palms against the stone ledge, hair falling over her shoulders. He looked up at her intently now, eyes wide.  even with his armor on, she could see his throat bobbing, swallowing down his nerves.  

“That settles it for me. I choose Ser Sebastian Sallow.” 

The hall descended into loud whispers; the girl holding his sigil gasped with delight, while the man behind her dropped his mouth open in shock.  Sebastian knelt, but kept his gaze fixated upon her.  It was as if the chocolate brown orbs were burning into her, somewhere between admiration and curiosity. 

Fig gave her a knowing look. “Ser Sebastian it is.”

”I’ll leave the details to Ser Sebastian’s investiture to you, Lord Fig.” the princess said, stepping down from the stool. Her heels clattered against the floor, hands folded behind her back. “And measure him for new armor.  Something befitting my sworn protector.”

”The customary armor, of course, with your sigil on the pauldron.” Fig noted.

She paused, turning one last time towards her counsel.

”Don’t forget his snakes.” She reminded him. “Silver with ruby eyes.”

Fig tried to conceal his smile. “Yes, princess.”

“You know we’re not allowed in the armory,” Poppy hissed, trying to tug on her skirt. “Lady Singer–”

“Lady Singer can kiss my arse,” the princess declared, enjoying the way her lady in waiting’s cheeks flushed. “I would like to supervise the fitting.  Will you join me?”

“I think not,” Poppy lifted her nose. “I’ll be off to the library to meet with Imelda.  You should stay out of trouble.” the brunette warned.

The princess pulled open the heavy door of the armory, grinning at her friend. “Trouble is my middle name,” she sang, waving goodbye as she entered the room.  The normally bustling armory was quiet at midday, with most of the knights standing guard.  She stepped past the rows of white cloaks, all hung under their corresponding owner’s name.  Weapons were stacked against the wall on wooden racks; she wouldn’t dare go near the spears, swords, and morningstars for fear of tipping them over.  Her slippers pattered against the flagstone floors as she walked deeper into the chamber in search of her new knight.

“There you are,” she declared, seeing him standing on the pedestal. Ser Sebastian Sallow stood in his freshly tailored white breeches and shirt, half dressed in his new gilded armor.

“Princess,” the armorer bowed his head quickly, stepping away from Sebastian. “I did not realize you were coming in to supervise the fitting.”

“Is it not tradition?” she asked, circling the pedestal with an approving nod.

“It is,” the armor rubbed his hands together anxiously. “For the king.  But you are a young lady, it’s hardly appropriate for you to be in the armory with a knight in a state of undress–”

“Ser Sebastian is my choice,” she pointed out. “So I will supervise the fitting of his armor and his sword selection, just as my uncle did for his sworn swords.”

“As you wish, princess.” The armor nodded. “I’ll fetch his sword at once.”  He bowed, walking backwards out of the room.

“Are you always so commanding?” Ser Sebastian asked, a hand on his hip.

“Only when they’re so formal.” she grinned, crossing her arms. “The armor looks good on you.”

Sebastian’s cheeks flushed. “Thank you.” he stammered. “And thank you for honoring my house.” he gestured to his pauldron, decorated with the Sallow family sigil. Instead of the crudely carved 

The armorer returned, holding a glimmering sword with a checked handle. “His sword, your grace.” he handed it to her for inspection. “I shall return shortly with his cloak; the seamstress was just finishing the hem.” He backed out of the room once more, leaving the pair alone.

The princess bobbed her head as she held the sword in her hand, testing its weight. “Good balance,” she mused, tossing it from one hand to the other.

“You’re trained with a sword?” Sebastian asked, eyebrow cocked.

She gave him a toothy grin, swinging the sword from side to side. “My uncle thought it best that I was taught the same as any other prince of the realm.” 

“I certainly agree,” Sebastian offered. “I trained my sister as best as I could before coming to the capitol.”

“Well then, should we practice for your investiture?” She asked. “On your knees, then.”

Sebastian sank to the floor, beaming up at her obediently.  He tipped his chin upwards, right hand resting over his heart. 

“Do you swear to uphold the code of the kingsguard?” she asked, trying her best to remember the vows Lord Fig had tasked her with memorizing.

“I do,” Sebastian echoed.

“Do you swear to guard the king with all your might, and give your blood for him and his heirs?” She recited the words slowly and thoughtfully.  The sword was beginning to feel heavy in her hands, but Sebastian didn’t budge.  He stayed, knelt below her on the ground, closed fist bound to his chest.

“I do.”

“Do you swear to take no wife, father no children, hold no lands? Do you swear to guard your king’s secrets, obey his commands, defend his name and honor?”

The princess blinked down at her chosen knight, hovering the blade over his shoulder. His big, brown eyes stared back at her, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips.  She hadn’t noticed the freckles on his lips; then again, she’d never been so close to him before.  He looked both like a knight and a boy all at once–his armor was unfinished, missing the pauldron on his left shoulder that would bear her sigil.  Sebastian’s messy hair stuck up in the back, and the princess felt the strong urge to pat it down.

She instead remained steady, blade in hand.

“Do you swear, Ser Sebastian?” she asked.

“I swear to take no wife, father no children, nor hold any lands.  I swear to guard my queen’s secrets, obey her commands, defend her name and honor. For as long as I breathe, my life is my queen’s.” Sebastian gave her a coy look, eyes glittering with mischief; he aimed to flatter her, charming the princess with his change in verbiage.

Two could play that game, she thought. The princess lifted her sword, tapping it on both of his shoulders.  “By the grace of the future queen, I name you Ser Kiss Arse.” she declared dramatically.

Sebastian choked, and the princess laughed.  Her whole body shook with her giggles, and Sebastian pouted. 

“No fair,” he complained. “Pick a better name.”

“Fine,” she wiped a tear from her eye. Feigning composure, she straightened her posture and gave him her best queenly glare. “By the grace of the future queen, I name you Ser Freckles.”

“You’re making a mockery of it,” Sebastian whined.

“We’re practicing, remember?” She snorted. “I promise, I’ll be much more official during the actual ceremony.”

Sebastian huffed. “Fine then.  But if I get a nickname, then you get one too.” he warned. “Princess Picky is what I’ll call you.”

The princess scoffed, backing away. “Who called me picky?”

Sebastian gave her a sheepish look, rubbing the back of his neck. “Everyone at court, actually. They thought you were too picky with your requirements of the kingsguard.  The public is fairly certain you’re making a mistake in picking me as your sworn sword.” his smile faltered, a wave of doubt crashing over his face. “My family has no riches, no influence at court.  I have nothing else to offer you.”

The princess chewed her lower lip, dragging the sword behind her as she leaned down to face her knight. “It is no mistake,” she murmured, pressing a hand to his shoulder. “You are the most deserving of the title.  I chose you. And if that makes me picky, so be it.”

Sebastian touched her wrist; the gesture shocked her, eyelashes fluttering from the surprise embrace.  But she did not move her hand–the princess kept it on his uncovered shoulder, her hair falling in her face as she looked down at her sworn protector.

“Princess Picky and Ser Freckles,” Sebastian joked. “An eclectic pair.”

She gave him an earnest smile. “I’d have it no other way.”

[pretentiousbrownie]

Art by @red-wood-raven

Art by @jadequarze

Art by jinxpawz

A lovingly curated collection of my OC power couple, Alto and Katherine: Bonded by the weight of shared responsibility, a common cause, and a fiercely protective instinct, the two are driven by a self-sacrificing love and the unyielding desire to fight for everything they believe in, to give their loved ones the happiness and safety they themselves so desperately sought.

This unlikely werewolf and angel pairing is one that represents two extremely distinct aspects of myself. Embodying strength, perseverance, and a quiet determination to persist, Alto is the protector of my true self - the savior of my younger self, and the guiding light towards the realization and acceptance of who I was then and who I am today. Characterizing grit, resolve, and a fighting spirit that is so unabashedly true to them, Katherine is the determination to not only exist and persist, but thrive, in all senses of the word. Together, they are the forces that helped me become the person I am today; they are the personified aspects of my past, present, and future selves, and all struggles they’ve dealt with in order to reach this point right now.

They are the story of how I came to be, how I came to understand and accept myself, and how I persevered - against all the odds - in realizing that self, and that is why each piece is so much more than the sum of their many stunning colors, rich depths, and powerful expressions.

To the artists and friends that have continued to work with me in creating these pieces and more, you have my eternal gratitude and love for giving these characters shape and form and color and life. They are everything to me, and more. Thank you all so very much!

As one final aside, I wanted to leave each of you with this as well; these pieces (and the other commissions I have done over the past few years), have also been a way of recapturing what was taken from me so long ago; I'm not sure you could quite call it a dream, or even a goal, but I was an artist. From young, I always carried a sketch book or drawing pad with me. Armed with pencil in hand and the spark of creativity, I used to lose myself for hours, completely tuned out of the world, engrossed in each and every line and detail I so painstakingly drew.

I did it for myself, but I also did it to explore more than what I was. It started with architecture, design, decor, and abstracts, before delving into people and creatures and animals. I won't ever claim to be "good" - I was a kid without any formal training and only the world around me as my inspiration, but I always hated qualifying terms like "good" and "bad" with art. I just created art, and I did so because I enjoyed it and it was comforting.

Throughout grades school, the relative value of my art had been recognized by the teachers and peers who shared in those same interests and goals as myself, and I was welcomed into so many spaces that encouraged and helped develop those skills further. For the longest time, I was so incredibly happy to be doing what I loved more than (almost) anything.

And then came high school.

I won't lie, I had a wonderful time in high school. Yes, even contending with difficult situations, certain traumas, a great deal of depression, and the loss of multiple people very close to me, but one thing beyond all of that did change in an irrecoverable way; art.

Coming out of middle school, I was recommended for studio art and the honors art track that could further hone and nurture those skills/passions I shared. In my final year of middle school, I had the immense good fortune of having an arts teacher that actively encouraged her students to explore art in whatever forms it took, and was set aside from the typical art class to develop my own portfolio throughout the school year. I was set to work on several smaller pieces and one large piece for an exhibition in a local arts competition.

I was given free reign and ended up with several pieces featured on display at local events and at the statewide exhibition. I was thrilled beyond all belief that I was experiencing art in its freest forms and being actively encouraged to pursue it.

But as luck (or rather misfortune, or I suppose more misunderstanding than misfortune) would have it, that same recognition and appreciation for art did not resonate with my parents as well.

They were supportive, to many degrees - they certainly loved the skills and talents I'd worked so hard to develop and commit myself to, but they weren't convinced there was any real purpose to my arts beyond the hobbies they saw. So, when the time came to make a decision towards my educational track in high school, they pushed me away from art and "encouraged" me to think more about practical things.

I was denied the arts track as I was pushed towards a long-term language goal (four years of foreign languages), I was placed in the music program (which, in fairness, represented some of the very best times I had in high school), and was then set up for an intensive program in double maths and sciences for the next several years (in addition to sports, other AP/honors classes, and part-time work).

The workload was grueling and positively miserable.

In the end, art had to take a backseat otherwise I'd lose myself and my time towards the things that supposedly mattered more. By my sophomore year of high school, I'd all but given up on art, and pushed out maybe a few last pieces before never returning to the supply store to buy more materials.

Fast forward almost a decade, and here we are.

I am an adult, living (mostly) my own life, and rediscovering the things that have made me, well, me.

The irony is that my job is art, in some loose sense of the word.

I operate a photography studio and shoot commercial photography for automotive clients. I work with a local dealership and one of the foremost importers of enthusiast vehicles in my region. I have deep connections to other prominent names in industry, including motorsports and NASCAR, and engineering and design. I shoot for all of them, they value my inputs, and many of my long-term goals are aimed at improving automotive design and ergonomics in design for more human-centric interaction in an increasingly disconnected driving world.

Between the work I have done, the goals that I've encountered, and the people I've surrounded myself with in my personal and professional lives, it's given me the time and the space to focus on the things that matter to me.

Art has been a way of recapturing the love my younger self shared for creativity and free will/expression. After coming out years ago, it's also been a way to engage in the spaces and ideas that have long faced me without answer. Art has allowed me to be truer to who I am, who I was, and who I'd ultimately like to be. These commissions are a partial reflection of all of that, and everything it's taken to achieve that, and they're also the goals I've set as I rediscover my love for arts with the newfound freedoms to explore it.

So, it way too many words, these pieces are everything to me. I don't quite know how else to put this other than thank you. Thank you to everyone that shares a common appreciation for art, that has enjoyed seeing these pieces as much as I have, and that feels in some way (no matter how large or small) a connection or relation to the words I've said here.

And to the artists that have made these pieces and others for me; you may never quite know what they mean to me. These are all the ideas I could fit on a page while working, so I am a bit pressed for time, but your time and your creativity and your energy spent realizing what I could not - that means so much to me. It means more than I could every reasonably tell you or pay you or otherwise verbalize in some actionable way. So, seriously, thank you all so very much. From the bottom of my heart, I love and appreciate all you each done for me.

And I will leave it there for now. Thank you all for sticking around - I know this has been a very long read. I really do hope you love my OCs as much as I can. And hey, if you have a sec, if you've got a couple ideas, go make some OCs of your own. If it's within your realm of attainable, commish some of your favorite artists, or doodle out some of your doods - I promise it'll be some of the most fun you can have!

[threepandas]

Bad End: Royal Red

Have you ever seen blood BURN like the sun?

I'm not even sure "burn" is the right word for it. Writhe? Scream? HATE? Like a standing on a cliff, staring down at a valley consumed in flames. Old forests full of life... burning. Dying. Wrong.

The sky choked with thick black smoke. Tar-like and staining. The ROAR of it. Moisture ripped so utterly from the air, it hurts to breathe. Heat so absolute as it rises... you can not imagine there was ever, EVER life here.

But there was.

And it was once beautiful.

Ancient and green, bird song and morning mist. Moss beneath bare feet and the gentle quiet that is no quiet at all. A thing ALIVE. Breathing. Whole. Now gone beneath the flame. The carnage and hunger. As animals flee for their lives and your men die, desperate to hold back the all consuming spread.

Nothing but FIRE remains.

But have you seen BLOOD burn? The weeping wounds of a soul? The... WRONGNESS inside a man, catch light? A shade of ever overlapping crimson. Drying blood somehow just as fluid as the fresh. Old wounds and new. Somewhere, the depth of scars...

BURNING.

I have.

I do.

I wish I did not.

There is something... WRONG with his Highness. Now, the Crown Prince. He... He HAD brothers. Some were awful, others indifferent. But all of them? All of them are gone. Terrible accidents, allegedly. One after another. And they were NOT the only one's. Consorts, lovers, mistresses and supporters. Allies and anyone unfortunate enough to be in his Highness' way.

But of course, I can prove nothing. And to SUGGEST such a thing? That would be Treason. Defamation of a Royal. That it is TRUE? Holds no bearing. Is utterly irrelevant. Even if I HAD had the proper training, even I'd my Gifts WERE formally recognized, ultimately? Politics is King.

It's not supposed to be. But when has life ever been so kind? When has "supposed to" EVER won the day? No. Such talk gets men killed. And dying once? Was quite enough for me.

Though I HAD to wonder...

How does a Protagonist fuck up SO BADLY, that they somehow send their Hidden Route target, into an empire conquering, murder spiral? That's not "a few bad choices" levels of making a mistake. THAT'S? Damn near deliberate sabotage and I just wanna talk. Violently.

I WOULD too, if I wasn't pretty certain they were either on the run or in exile.

All I had wanted? ALL I HAD EVER WANTED?? Was to just be set dressing. Soldier A, the unimportant background gaurd. A nice, faceless, grunt. Maybe chat with my equals of plot significance, a potted plant and yonder chair. Then? I could take my pay, go home, and live quietly.

But NO!

I get stationed following the Seventh prince. Mr. Hidden Route himself. Which? Okay, fine. Was HOPING for gate duty, cause NOTHING happens on gate duty, but FINE. But THEN? Half my co-workers are ASSHOLES. Like... child abusing assholes! The FUCK?!

So? Oops. Accident on the stairs! Whoops! Lemme help you there, man. Oh? Did I ACCIDENTALLY crush the hand you used to hit that kid? Golly! Gee, I sure hope the healers can fix that for you! (I fucking know they both can't and wouldn't if they could. You can't afford SHIT.) Lemme HELP you there, AGAIN, BUUUUUDDY~☆!

Threatening you? Why I would NEVER! That's illegal!

You know... like hitting kids.

And OTHER shit they try to pull. Never DID get around to updating my Gaurd Forms. Whoops. Turns out being able to literally SEE the malicious intent on a fucker? Makes it pretty easy to know who to watch. DID get jumped a lot though. Stabbed a few times.

I just? Wanted to watch my favorite Otome game play out, you know? Get payed while doing it. Sunk cost fallacy kicked in. I've been here since I was a PRE-TEEN. Signed up for training, a ten year contract, and everything! I can LEAVE now... but like? Go WHERE? And honestly... I'm not actually sure I CAN.

Things are... Tense.

Or maybe they're just tense for me? 'Cause... Cause something isn't right. It's that burning blood color. The way it fills a room. Reaches, covetous, like staining hands. Writhes and drags itself against everything. Something unholy, between a lustful grind and the dragging of the wounded. It's not even demonic. No... somehow? It's WORSE for being utterly human.

There is something deeply wrong with the man I am sworn to obey, and I do not know how to escape him.

Because I definitely SHOULD.

I'm not stupid. He's been... been keeping me, SPECIFICALLY, close at hand, since becoming Crown Prince. The SECOND he was able to assign his OWN gaurds? I am suddenly honor gaurd. Yet not. I have basically no job but to stab just behind and to the side of him and look pretty. (For the given quality of THAT.) And...? Even the other gaurds are looking nervous.

It's NEVER a good thing when powerful people suddenly pay attention to an individual gaurd, servant, or maid. They tend to end up... hurt. Dead. Worse. And given recent behavior? Well... I've been getting offers to quietly arrange an "accident" for me.

Not so sure it won't get everyone involved killed.

He wasn't always LIKE this. Yeah, he was... different, but it wasn't BAD. Just... off. A bit weird. A color I hadn't seen before and couldn't for the life of me figure out. It had been... well, nothing. Not even grey. I KNOW grey, it's apathy or depression. Emotional flatness.

But his Highness? Like mist. The lite distortion of water droplets. Colorless and near weightless, drifting gently along. It was as though he DIDNT have emotional responses to anything. Not even flat. Just... non-existant. Which? If so? That's okay! Really. Takes all types. Something to NOTE, yeah, maybe accommodate? But fine.

It's not like there were psychiatric meds or doctors we could get for him. If he was different, so be it. We just had to work around that. Plan accordingly. Worst case scenario, maybe keep him away from small breakable things. But? He seemed benign. I shrugged and moved on. Accepted him as he was.

Maybe went out of my way to explain things with logic more then feelings. Even when I WAS explaining feelings. Ethics. Pretty much anything else he asked. Which... wait a second...

Fuck.

A nameless gaurd SHOULD NOT know that much about psychology or politics. Economics on the macro or micro scale. Oh god DAMN it Wikipedia! You betray me a lifetime away?! Et Tu random research binges!?

Okay. Okay! So maaaaybe? THATS why he's keeping me close? Cause yeah, I'm pretty stacked these days. No internet kinda leaves nothing BUT time to train and read... and books are kinda hard to get, at my level. So like? Maybe a second set of eyes?

....doesn't feel right though. Close but missing the obvious mark-ish.

I try to think of my interactions with the prince. BEFORE murder-spiral kick-off. He sought me out a lot. I interfered so many times when his Tutors crossed lines, they got me kicked out of the main building. He started skipping lessons to self-study. I got put on patrol? He learned my patrol schedule. Would invade the gaurd mess.

Got punished for that, I think. Vicious cycle. I get punished, he gets upset, wants to make sure I'm okay, I get punished for his basic empathy and being a kid. They kept reassigning me. I got stabbed that first time. Sent too...

Wait.

I try to pull up what I know of the Game in my brain. The Hidden Route and the other Routes. We are.... WAY off script. Not off GENRE... just...?

Mentally I set the Game aside. Shifting in my guarding position at the Crown Prince's side. He continues to work. The soft rustle of papers and the scratching of his pen, filling the silence along side the clink and shift of my armor. We are in the sun room, surrounded by flowers, supposedly for the better light.

To be honest, I hadn't ever BEEN in this room until I was basicly expected to tail the Crown Prince like a glorified, armor wearing, pet. And too be honest? Given that the REST of his honor gaurd were ACTUAL KNIGHTS? It was well beyond ridiculous at this point.

I was a club bouncer surrounded by elite special forces, in fancy little armor, that I could in NO way, have ever afforded on my own. Oh, and I wasn't really allowed to talk to them. So... WHY? Why, EXACTLY, was I here? There was no realistic way anything could get PASSED all those knights. I certainly wasn't PROTECTING the Crown Prince from SHIT.

And... and he hadn't attacked me, thank God. No touchy hands "service to the crown" shtick. Demanding things I couldn't refuse him. So THAT wasn't it...

Right?

My brain insisted it wasn't. That I should keep going over the list of possible reasons. Consider This or That. But... Something in my gut? Rang like a struck bell. Some non-physical part of me. That peice that twined, like gentle golden ivy, up through my body, too wrap around my eyes from the inside. Not enough, maybe, to get me into some high and mighty school or apprenticeship... but ENOUGH.

Because Magic was, is, and always has been? Divine. For all that HUMANS fail while using it. For every MORTAL error in it's implementing or understanding. It's a drop of the Divine. And? You can not LIE to the Gods. Hide, perhaps, but not LIE. Even then, you'd have to know what you're hiding FROM.

Kinda hard to hide from "using past life knowledge to deduce motivation" when that's not exactly a thing people can easily guess I HAVE. I get away with shit. Know things I really shouldn't.

Am.... am desperately trying to convince myself that the twinge I just felt? DOESN'T mean what I think it means. Even as a cold sweat breaks out over my skin. As I desperately keep my expression placid and my stare straight into the middle distance. Ha ha.... oh god. No no no, oh god, no...!

Okay. OKAY! Lying to yourself will NOT keep you safe! We can do this! Nothing is happening. We just... just have to play it cool. NOT. PANIC.

He DID want us for sexual reasons.

But... more? More, maybe. I poke at the feeling. Try to frame my thoughts as absolute statement as see if I get a twinge again. To get a feel for the edges of whatever is happening. I can not protect myself, if I do not KNOW from what I protect AGAINST. Just sex? No. Was I a convenience choice? Also No. Revenge for something? A sudden certainty that I'd be DEAD if it was.

Oh, THATS not concerning at ALL!

Okay, keep prodding. Uuuuh... He has a thing for big muscle-y dudes with scars? Strong yes. Okay! Getting somewhere! Kinda thought he liked the petite, girly girl-ish typ-? Weirdly hollow No? Strong. Okay, what the FUCK. See THIS? THIS is why I wanted to be a fucking GAURD. No weird Protagonist of any adventures bullshit! Just a 9-5 with a paycheck at the end!

Uuuugh. Okay, soooo... likes? Strong dudes.... and I was the closest? No. Okay! Getting somewhere! Other strong dude... isn't available? Yes, but I am looking at it wrong. Great. At least I know what that feeling MEANS. Still wish it would just follow up with a "and btw, here's the answer~☆" but, fuck no! Why would life make anything EASY for a guy?

Fuck it! Random shit at the wall time. He's definitely in love with the Protagonist? No. Wait, really? Then why...? No. Stay on track. He's in definitely in love with ME? I wait, utterly expectant, for the twinge that will mark a negative. Half cursing myself for not checking with the Divine sooner. There had been no excuse. Distractions, yes, but no excuse.

It feels like getting sucker punched in the gut. HARD.

Takes everything in me, not to wheeze and double over. That... that wasn't a "yes". That was so FAR beyond "yes" I'm not sure there are spoken, written, or even conceptual WORDS for it. As absolute a CONCEPT of Yes as I have ever felt or probably ever will.

It... It did NOT feel good.

That was a WARNING.

Like the Gods them selves had taken me by the back of the neck, stepped close, to whisper in my ear as they drove their fist into my gut. "Pay Attention To This. RUN. You Need To RUN. There Are Monsters Here."

My eyes feel like they are burning. Like I haven't blinked in too long. Colors a bit too bright, details too sharp. The edges of reality cutting like splintering, glittering, glass. Everything has a GLOW to it. It's never done that before. Is... is this panic? Fight or Flight forcing me to draw deeper then I ever have before?

Or are the Gods paying attention? Displeased by what they see?

The room around us is... is so quiet. Beautiful. Rare flowers, teeming with life. Decorative and pampered little song birds, flitting from roost to roost. The rich scent of rare tea and expensive cologne, mixing with armor polish and the scent of green, living things. Sunlight makes his Highness' hair glow like it was made of it. Pale gold and filled with light.

If I could not SEE... his Highness would be beautiful.

But I can, and instead? He's terrifying.

I think I'm shaking. I don't understand. The room around me picturesque. Peaceful. Golden and filled with gently beautiful things. Light. It feels mocking. Paper thin. Like some cruel trap laid out over a pit of tar. As though, like in the cartoons of my old childhood, the INSTANT I become aware... acknowledge the reality of my ACTUAL surroundings?

The paper thin veneer will rip, no longer able to hold my weight, and I will be plunged into the horrors just beneath the lie.

How.... HOW did-?! I... I CAN'T-!

I put everything I am, into letting nothing show. E-Everything is FINE. Do not turn around. Please. Please, Gods, do not notice me or turn around! I breathe. Breathe. Can't do nothing now, but breathe. Panic is the mind killer. I remind myself of that. People do stupid things, when they act in panic. Think. THINK! Plan. THEN act! Breathe.

How? HOW did this happen? Trace it back. Find the source and we can... can maybe unhook the noose. Fix this? Escape? Run and keep running. Find the edge of the map and keep going. Where did it...? My brain, maybe my magic, finally takes pity. Connects the wires that have long been JUST missing each other. My mental list of Genre Troupes. My history with the Prince.

The blood drains from my face.

Oh fuck. Shit! Oh fuck, oh SHIT. Yandere. He was a YANDERE hidden route character! Wasn't he!? It's the only thing that makes sense with the-! No, no, he should still-! But, wait. No. No, no, NO. Oh god! I pulled a combo attack. "Childhood best friend" even though we WEREN'T. I was basically the closest in age to him! AND the only non-asshole! So that's "Different From The Others"!

Oh mother FUCKER, I pulled a "Only One Who Cares About Me" while SERVING him! His fucked up little squirrel brain would have taken that as "belonged to him" only to have me "taken away" when I was assigned elsewhere! Every time I kept someone from ABUSING him, I was making it WORSE. Every time they reassigned me, somebody was "trying to take me away"!

Oh sweet merciful FUCK, I got STABBED!

No WONDER he lost his absolute shit! He was unhinged to begin with! But instead of latching on to Protagonist and being HER problem, he latched on to ME! Why did no one warn me he was-!? Actually, I have no idea. Non-Just-Straight?! That! One of the THAT! Like FUCK I'm asking! He'd think it was an invitation, probably!

Because he NUCKING FUTS! Squirrels in the brain! Def Con OH SHIT!!

Yandere! Shit! I'm gonna di-!

"Something's upset you." The crown prince's surprisingly deep voice says, breaking the silence. I flinch. "I can feel your magic moving. An attack, perhaps? Or is someone saying something they should not."

He... oh, great, amazing! He can FEEL my magic. The magic INSIDE me body. That magic. Yeah, I don't feel stripped naked and on display AT ALL. Thanks! Definitely not invasive, your Highness! Still, I have to answer. Carefully. Very, VERY carefully.

He hums, disbelieving, as I reply. Lifting his pen and setting it aside. A graceful hand lifts. The mere flick of his fingers. "Move" it means. "Come where I can see you". Imperious and royal. Casual in it's assumed control of me. Why would he believe anything else, after all? He IS a prince. The CROWN Prince. Future KING.

He DOES own me.

I keep my breathing even. Keep my hands from visually shaking by tightening my grip on my spear. Even, professional, steps. Forward. Turn. Face your ruler. Your BETTER. No eye contact. Even breathing and eyes to the horizon. You are a statue. Just... just be a statue. No thoughts. You can do this.

It doesnt help. I can FEEL those pale, pale eyes. Striking and blue. Rare flower petals or glacier ice, they have been called. Compared to all sorts of haunting things. The Crown Prince is a beautiful man. That dangerous sort of pale beauty, that make for excellent portraits, of bright and holy things. That fools the eyes into thinking surely, SURELY the soul before your is Good. Trustworthy.

How could anything so beautiful be DANGEROUS?

Be corrupted and insane? A killer. A madman.

A MONSTER.

I stand at attention. Where he can observe me. His little toy soilder. Kept like a PET, I know realize, and try not to feel like I am being picked apart. Like a mouse in some tigers cage. The far wall sure is fascinating. Mmmmhmm. Very... very wall-like. Glass and artfully arranged flowering vines. Very pretty. What a wall! Ten stars for wall-ness.

The near silent shift of fine fabrics. A tap. Nail on high grade armor alloy. Just the smallest of sounds that nonetheless seems deafening. I barely stop myself from jerking back in alarm. Can't prevent my gaze from snapping downwards. To the arm outstretched, the elegant hand curled, the well manicured finger nail on the single outstretched finger... that has placed itself right over my heart. I freeze, utterly.

"You're getting nervous, aren't you? Growing uncertain. I've been so busy planning ahead, I've forgotten the here and now, haven't I?" He muses. That finger I should not be able to feel, that somehow feels like a knife trailed along my skin, glides slowly down. A meandering path down towards my belt. "I've neglected you."

The finger hooks into my belt. I am dragged forward a few stumbling steps with a deceptively strong tug. There is significant muscle, hidden by the almost waifish cut of his Highness daily wear. The eyes watching for my reaction are predatory. Intent. It was as though there should be fangs, in that pleasant, politician's grin...

"My steadfast knight, warrior of my heart, you've been so patient for me... so LOYAL." He rolled the word across his tongue as he said it, eyes locked on me with the sort of interest hunter keep, more a sigh then a word. Somehow.. Somehow the concept became OBSCENE, once in his hands. "So good for me. Even after all this time. Soon, Dearest. Soon we won't have to hide. I promise."

I had NEVER been a knight. Not even CLOSE to qualified for the training. Not even a single branch, magical or otherwise. Worse? I knew for a FACT? We had never, not ONCE, been lovers. No stolen glances. No fumbling youthful hands. No "hey, let's explore this closet!". Nothing. I? Had been studiously professional, if a decent human being.

This was ALL him.

What narrative had he painted in his head?

My heart pounds. My brain somehow both gibbering hysteria and unnatural calm. I... I think I may be disassociating. But all I can think, all I KNOW, is that I can NOT, Under ANY Circumstances, break the illusion. Do NOT argue. Why YES, deeply insane FUTURE KING, I DO love you so VERY much! Hey, don't mind me, just left the phone running. Gonna go for a walk. Buy some milk.

I watch, pleasant service industry smile feeling plastic on my face, as he leans forward. Rests his head against my armored chest, as though we were lovers. Just stealing a quite little moment alone. His hand slides along my belt, fingers hooked into it, the brush of his knuckles feeling far filthier then any groping hand. I can HEAR him breathing me in.

Obscene. How is he making such chaste contact so deeply obscene? He let's out a pleased hum and I want a shower.

"Kneel for me?" So soft I almost don't catch it, it takes a moment to register the words. This time, I can not stop myself from tensing. I know he feels it, but can not bring myself to care. "Shhhh shh shh, none of this, my Darling. To your knees before your King. Sweetheart, my dearest. You're going to be serving me there for the rest of our lives. It's okay. Your King won't rush you. He knows how shy you are. How nervous."

W-Well THAT wasn't treason! At ALL! Ha ha...! Oh god.

Hands at my waist. When did the other one-?! I'm shaking. Smile. D-dont set him off. This is fine. I... I shouldn't be ABLE to feel their heat, through my armor. Somehow I do. I want to back up. If I got to do this? At least let me-!

But, no. Pressure. Hands on my hips dragging me down, watching eyes expectant. In stops and starts... like a seizing automaton, my knees bend. Down I go... I guess.

Almost instantly, there are hands unbuckling my helmet. Sliding it off. Stealing it away. Fingers slide through my hair. Cup my cheek. A thumb running itself across my mouth. The prince seemed to loom. Hungry as he stared down at me.

"Beautiful. My loyal knight is so, SO beautiful. I am going to give us the world. Take what is ours. No one will EVER hurt us again, Dearest. I will keep you forever. Dress you in armor and roses. Mine and mine alone."

There was madness in his eyes. Obsession. Is...is that what that color meant? That burning, terrible blood? It's too late. Oh god, it's too late for that to help me. I smile. Do not argue. Fear and fear and fear. I have to get out. On my knees, it is a terrible view of what's to come, should I fail. The Games's utterly fucked. I no longer care.

I have to get out.

The King, after all, has gotten sick lately.

[rightshoeonleftfoot]

From Afar

Pairing: Simon "Ghost" Riley x afab! reader

Summary: You had a bad day and you're head over heels for a Lieutenant that's not even yours. He never even seems to look at you, let alone speak to you. Little do you know, he's been watching you.

Warnings: Stalking (innocent stalking hehe), mutual pining, possessive! Simon Riley, power imbalance.

Words: 1.7k

Part 1 - Part 2

This is not proofread so I'm sorry for any mistakes!! Constructive criticism is 100% welcome :)

I wanna make this a series eventually so let me know if you're interested! I wrote this at work lol

Average. That's what you were. An average soldier. You weren't even a bad soldier, you just weren't outstanding. You simply didn't stand out even though you desperately wanted to. You wanted to stand out to him. To the one man you'd been longing for ever since you saw him walk past you in the hallway when you were on your way to training.

A tall, broad man whose gaze would scare anyone away. He seemed cold, distant, someone you could never get along with. A man with many secrets, someone who wouldn't hesitate to sacrifice his life for his Taskforce. Lieutenant Riley. He never formally introduced himself but you'd heard. You'd heard all the rumours and chatter that surrounded him and you almost felt guilty.

He'd lead training every once in a while, when your superiors were away on important missions. You'd always do your damn best during those times, you wanted his attention, you wanted his praise. Yet, he'd never even so much as glance at you. It left you empty, disappointed and jealous. Jealous of your superior, Sergeant Davidson who'd openly flirt with him in front of everyone, especially in front of you. It's like she had something against you specifically, she'd often make you drop and give her 20 if you did anything that displeased her.

Today had been a shitty day. You'd slept through your alarm and ended up late to an early training session. Your Sergeant made an example out of you, making you run laps and do extra push ups. You were tired and hungry as you'd also missed breakfast, your stomach growling loudly as you were exercising. She had no pity, it was your fault after all. "You shouldn't have been late." She told you. "Don't fuck with the rules." She berated you as you held a plank. She had her foot on your back, occasionally adding weight on you to make you shake and give in to the weight she'd put on you. It was a humiliating morning to say the least, yet your day somehow got worse.

He hated the way she treated you. He hated the way your Sergeant got a power trip every time you did the smallest thing wrong. He wanted to rip her off you, tell her off for treating a Private like an animal. He wasn't supposed to feel anything for you. Hell, he had never even spoken to you once. He would just chalk it up to him being tired and not sleeping through the night. Yet, he couldn't stop himself from looking at you.

At lunch, you were starving and the mess hall was full. Not having eaten since 8 am and you were in desperate need for food. You'd finally picked up your tray and the food looked mediocre at best but you were too hungry to care. You were looking for a place to sit but the mess hall was packed. You skillfully navigated through the crowd of famished soldiers until you found a place. You quickly walked over to it, but it seemed someone had had the same idea as you. In a loud crash, your food fell to the floor, face first because of course it did. Your stomach growled once more as you looked down at the splattered food on the floor. The soldier who had bumped into you quickly apologized, his food untouched apart from the splatter of sauce that had ended on your uniform. Instead of helping you, he bolted off to eat. As you cleaned up your food, you knew your lunch would consist of nothing but vending machine snacks.

He watched. He saw you get bumped into by the careless little soldier. He saw you mutter and swear as you looked down at your food on the floor, completely defeated. "Fuck me, fuck this stupid fucking day." You'd mutter. He saw the way you quietly stared down at your food before picking up the dirty dishes and cleaning up the mess you'd made. He saw the way the soldier left you to your own devices and wanted so badly to berate him for not helping you. But he couldn't. So he watched.

You had a bit of free time after eating your snacks so you went to get changed and take the shower you didn't have time to take. You picked up your clean uniform and headed off to the communal showers, getting ready to wash off the food and sweat off you from this morning. You stripped and eagerly got in the shower. A sudden gasp came out of you. The water was cold. Very fucking cold. It wouldn't warm up even as you waited, your hand in the water. So you took a quick, cold shower.

The shower had left you tense and unsatisfied. A fitting continuation for your awful day. Next came hand to hand combat training. This was led by Ghost, so it lifted your spirits up a little. You walked into the gym early, not wanting to repeat this morning's mistake. Ghost was already there and you saluted him. In what felt like the first time since you'd met, he spared a glance at you. His gaze was cold, his brown eyes felt like they were staring in your soul. It seemed like he was studying you as the glance turned into more of a look, his eyes wandering ever so slightly to your face before he spoke.

"At ease." His voice was deep, deeper than you'd remembered. You felt happy. He had addressed you. It was almost cathartic, hearing him speak directly to you. You almost wantwd him to say more but to your disappointment, he looked away from you and resumed his conversation with your Sergeant. She was laughing and smiling, clearly flirting with him but he wasn't paying her any mind. You found yourself a partner and surprisingly enough, training went without much of a hitch. Both Ghost and Sergeant Davidson were watching over and your Sergeant was being much nicer with Ghost watching over her shoulder.

That was until the Sergeant used you as an example. Ghost looked at her disapprovingly but you didn't notice. She'd tell you to defend yourself but every time would take you down with ease. It left you humiliated and defeated. She finally got off you, clearly proud of herself for whatever reason. Your sparring partner helped you up and muttered something. "That fuckin' bitch." You were happy someone was on your side yet you felt disappointed. Ghost had just stood there, watching. He didn't do anything.

He saw, his mind in turmoil. On one hand, he could stop your Sergeant from taking you down more and cut the training short. On the other hand, he could let her keep going. She was showing a good technique but she wouldn't even give you the chance to try it on her. So he just stood there, conflicted. He wasn't doing anything.

You left training as soon as you could. You were beyond pissed and annoyed at today. You rushed to the mess hall to eat something and for once, everything was going well. You were approached by a soldier. A poor little soldier who was just as oblivious of Ghost as you were. He flirted with you and made you laugh. It was the first time today you'd felt truly at ease. He was making you laugh and over all, the conversation was just nice. You ended up shutting the conversation down early but sharing your contact information with him, a new friend couldn't hurt after all.

Your laugh. Your fucking laugh. Music to Ghost's ears. Music he never even thought he'd like, a soft melody that soothed whatever emotion he was feeling at the time. But that laugh wasn't for him. It was for this other private, this bastard, who dared to approach you while you were eating. He continued watching as you gave the man your contact information and he seethed. He didn't want to be jealous, but he was. He watched you leave to go to the shooting range for your nightly routine and as soon as you were out of sight, he walked to the soldier. The soldier froze when he saw Ghost. Ghost put his hand out, gesturing for the soldier to hand over what you'd given him. The soldier obliged and handed him the paper and Ghost proceeded to chew him out. He was ashamed of what he was doing and couldn't believe he felt the need to chew out an irrelevant soldier for hitting on you. He'd let his jealousy get the better of him.

The range was empty at this hour. Well, not fully but enough for the gun shots to be few and far between, startling you every time one went off. Going to the range after dinner was a part of your routine. There was a sort of pleasure in shooting targets to let loose of your emotions, it was therapeutic. The recoil of the gun as it went off in your hands, whether it was a p226 or an M4A4. You'd shoot for a while, never really looked at the time. But you'd often shoot until you felt the recoil of the gun in your hand without shooting, a familiar feeling.

Then came the cleaning. Cleaning your guns was your favourite part. It was slow and required patience, something you enjoyed. You'd take apart your guns with great care, feeling every nook and cranny as you did so. You'd clean them, taking the time to remove the dirt and grease which had lodged itself in all the cracks and crevices of the pistol. You liked it when they looked brand new. You'd connect your headphones to your phone and would listen to music, wanting to relax and take the edge off as you did a task most thought was tedious. Putting the guns back together was like a puzzle. A puzzle you'd done so much you could do it with your eyes closed. The way everything fit together perfectly, the way each piece clicked together with a soft, metallic sound. It was like a lullaby, soothing you to sleep. A welcome sound as it meant you'd go to bed soon.

Your ritual was over and you felt weary, your eyes closing on their own. With that, your day ended. In your shitty little barrack bed, still oblivious to your shadow. You fell asleep weirdly content with the day you had. Your alarm was set and you were confident you'd be ready for whatever awaited you tomorrow.

The range was big. Lots of places to hide, lots of places to watch. He followed you, his footsteps quiet, completely unheard by you. He enjoyed watching you shoot. It had become his routine as well. He'd watch you, correct your stance in his head without ever approaching you, then he'd watch you clean your guns. It calmed him. It soothed his mind and made him strangely happy to see someone who took such great care in cleaning their guns. He always wondered what you listened to. What had your foot tapping the beat, what had you softly smile when you cranked up the volume. He'd figure it out one day, just not tonight.

[respectthepetty]

Pride Petty Watch (The Untamed) 2/?

The crowd picked two blacklisted shows for me to watch during Pride, so even though the first series took me only three days to get through, the second one is taking some time since I went out this past week and touched some grass for Pride. However, I did watch an episode a day AND spotted something on sale while out and about.

Fun Fact: These are 200 pages EACH, and they only cover what has been shown up until episode five. I teach English, not math, but doing some simple addition, dividing over A, carrying the Y, and solving for X, I have guessed that this series is going to be 20 books long! TWENTY! AT LEAST! Basically, it's going to be as long as this long-ass series.

*presses play on episode six*

These idiots are drunk, loud, and fighting. They are breaking rule #36, #265, and #1. Even I know that!

When you realize you're in love with a virgin who is a light-weight and can't even drive after talking about intimacy while touching his headband. I take back everything I said about this show. It's gay. Like real gay. Gay gay.

Fuddy Duddy is better than me because I would not have taken that beating, but that's probably why he is an elite Cloud Cunt or whatever, and also why he has now been blessed with Wei Wuxian trying to cuddle in this freezing water while talking about his "extremities" shivering. Note: In the comics, we see that Fuddy Duddy is BRANDED (like as in marked by burning the flesh) and has A SHIT TON OF SLASHES ON HIS BACK (like as in whipped . . . BY A FUCKING WHIP). Basically, this Cloud Cult is batshit crazy.

These two are fighting literal demons. But also the demons are homosexuality.

THEY TIED THEMSELVES TOGETHER WITH THE INTIMACY BAND! If it was red, it'd be game over for China!

Y'all cute but your kid is still an asshole, and there is a queer plot brewing. GET OUT OF MY FACE!

They were lesbian lovers, and I will not be entertaining any other reason for all of this because only a lesbian would tie her soul for eternity to a musical instrument just so she doesn't have to admit she was wrong to her wife, while her wife goes on to train the most elite squad of wizards just to one day help her wife because she already predicated her wife would fuck up. This is love.

Correction since my boy asked AGAIN if he could harness evil power for good - One of them is fighting demons, the literal and homosexual kind, and one is embracing them both, openly, with no fucks given.

And she knows! Not about the homosexual part, but about the "finding the stone hidden in the rock" part (but probably the homo part too)

Wei Wuxian lied for you when you got out of the rock. He touched your headband. And now he has touched your soul. Stop fighting it. Embrace this. It's Pride Month.

Wei Wuxian drinks, parties, talks shits, and backs it up. I'm getting flashbacks to Spring Break in South Padre. It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. But the hands were always ready to hit their mark.

My boy is Catholic. Fuddy Duddy took 300 hits earlier to uphold the integrity of his Cloud Cult or whatever, but my boy was told his punishment and is merely going through the motions since he doesn't regret laying hands on his future in-law. He said "tell me how many Hail Marias I need to say, so I can go play with the ants and get a tan." Same.

First, your best friend brought the bird into the class and now you took the bunnies to remind Fuddy Duddy of "those four amazing hours you spent in the hot tub together after Winter Formal." Y'all are schemers, and this will cause problems later. I've taught too many freshmen. Y'all need to be separated before you plot the end of the world and animals have to be sacrificed. I see the signs.

Who is going to kill this man? WHO?! Let it be a woman because he needs to be reminded he is insignificant and useless.

Oh my God, they found each other! I knew my boy would go after his boy, but for his Bird Bestie to spot them too?! These two idiots are going to cause havoc and hijinks.

Y'all are so Romeo and Juliet coded, it hurts my feelings. Girl, you're going to die and he is going to be sad about it. But can you kill that red asshole first? Please.

Sir, now you and I both know some shit is about to go down because that florist's house was crispy fried burnt, that woman outside was creepy as hell, and these two are over there chatting about soul snatchers. GET OUT OF THERE, FD, AND TAKE THE ANIMAL BROS WITH YOU!

FD might have the brains and the silencing charm, but my boy got the moves. He has that Spider Man magic string thing, he has the Shrek gingerbread men, and he keeps making spells out of thin air. Maury, who is his daddy? God?! THE DEVIL?!

SHE CAN PLAY A MUSICAL INSTRUMENT TOO! Hold up. HOLD UP! Fuddy Duddy's brother played it to calm everyone down. FD played his to subdue the zombies. And now she did too, but my boy's flute playing skills not only calmed the zombie, but controlled him. Did he learn it from her?!

Girl, what are you doing at the devil's sacrament?

Wen Qing has been holding off this fucking bird and these zombies all night, and these boys have been doing what at their slumber party? Braiding each other's hair? She better be the one to kill that red asshole. She deserves the body count. *wink, Jiang Cheng*

The bird needed to go, but this is what I'm talking about with him and his bird bestie. Homie closed his eyes and felt his feelings because FD told him to, then pretended to be dead just so he could kill that bird. It's smart as well as scary because how much power does he really possess? A shit ton. That's how much. But also, why didn't they take the dead bird with them? Don't leave behind magical creatures to be brought back to life!

Smart to have the others chase after a chicken, so the color-coded boys in love could get more details, but these two are a hetero version of the mains. She is not bad. She is trying to do good with what she has, which is a pile of shit, and he wants to do right by her but his principles are going to get in the way. I anticipate no happy endings for anyone. Not Romeo and Juliet or Romeo and Julio.

Bird Bestie was smart to stay behind because it was obvious there would be dead bodies, but WHO THE FUCK ARE THESE TWO?! This show is color-coded within an inch of its life, and everyone is a pair because they both have the other's color in their robes, so the fact that the white one showed up first and claimed evil guy was his enemy makes me think they have history (exes), but the new black guy replaced him. Black dude, I'd watch my back because Evil Dude is coming for you.

It also worries me that these two have a similar . . . something. Wei Wuxian, buddy, homie, ho-migo. You're getting darker. You were dark blue, but now, you're black. Why is no one else concerned that the call is about to come from within the house?

So much shit is going down on this mountain! White No Name dude just said he knows and was trained by the OG lesbian, so we know she is still alive and well waiting for her wife, and my boy is sad since his mama was trained by her therefore he was trained by her, which makes her his grandma or something (I DON'T KNOW!). And now the illegitimate brother I want to be with FD's brother is in charge of watching the evil dude, but he is wearing white/blue and evil dude is wearing black/gold, and if they become an item, I'm gonna be pissed!

Y'all, he is gonna fuck up. He is going to let the bad guy go isn't he? I don't understand why they couldn't kill the bad guy, but my illegitimate son has been disrespected in this house too many times in the past ten minutes to let this shit slide. He is going to make a deal with the devil. I feel it.

"I'll sleep on your roof" - That was a declaration of love because y'all fought on a roof over liquor, and now he wants to just chill on your roof while drinking even though you are leaving. He is sprung and does not care who knows.

WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING?! THIS IS A FUCKING SHIT SHOW! The oldest kids are being called away which means Fuddy Duddy's cult is probably losing it and branding everyone. They are being attacked by the Evil Reds even though their evil dude admitted to killing that whole damn family! My illegitimate son DEFINITELY killed that guy and let the evil dude go. He did that. I know he did. And my boy's outfit looks so similar to that evil red swordsmen who is fighting on behalf of that weak ass red bitch because he can't fight himself, it's ridiculous (Someone needs to slash that evil red dude's face and his tires).

Everyone is going to die, and there is no hope.

*eats some naan*

Okay, maybe there is some hope in the other FORTY EPISODES! FD's brother could take in the illegitimate son, and they could live happily ever after. Right? RIGHT?!

[tobiasdrake]

Watching episode 2 of Ranma reboot and it remains like a blast from the past.

Gonna be posting spoilers and screencaps to talk about it, so all of that's after the jump.

I'm sorry that I didn't appreciate the slapstick of the original manga because Rumiko Takahashi is kind of brilliant at it.

This gag sets you up to think Akane's about to hit him for yelling misogyny at her early in the morning, but then out of absolutely nowhere his fucking dad erupts from the aether and clocks him for it instead.

That's fantastic. It uses the familiar language not just of Ranma and Akane's established dynamic but of tsundere romances in general to set the gag up, and then hits it with a startling and unexpected swerve that still pays it off but in a way the audience didn't see coming.

Speaking of Genma, bits like this:

Ranma defeats Genma using the "Look, a distraction!" technique and it's funny because he won with what most martial arts anime would consider a cowardly tactic.

But it's funnier when you know the actual art he practices, 無差別格闘流 musabetsu kakutou-ryuu. Separately translated as either "Anything Goes Style of Martial Arts" or "Indiscriminate Grappling". The latter of which is hilariously specific, as 格闘 kakutou can mean wrestling or grappling but simply refers to weaponless styles of hand-to-hand fighting.

He's a fisticuffs brawler by trade, contrasting the various adversaries he faces throughout the series who are mostly tool- or weapon-based fighters, to varying degrees of esoteric oddity.

But what makes this so funny in hindsight is the "indiscriminate" part. Ranma's martial art is built around the idea that there are no rules and whatever gets you to the finish line is fine. This distraction isn't Ranma being cowardly; It's actually part of his martial art. This is how he was trained to fight. XD

You know, I actually forgot that Dr. Tofu... existed.

But setting that aside, once I remembered who this guy is, I forgot that he's implied to be an exceptionally talented martial artist. Capable of masking his presence so thoroughly that even Ranma can't detect his movements.

That's really interesting. To my recollection, Dr. Tofu never has a single fight in the entire series. Instead, his expertise simply serves as an explanation for his familiarity with all the wild and bizarre mystical maladies that come his way.

It lets him be like, "Oh yeah, the reason you're deathly ill is because someone hit you with the 5,000 year old forbidden Chinese Slow Death Syphilitic Pressure Point technique. Here, let me apply the three-step acupressure reversal technique that was lost to history."

But now I.

I kinda.

Want to see him fight.

(Has this dude been like the DBZA Popo of Ranma 1/2 this entire time?)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA She clocks him with the water kettle to make him respectfully bow.

I did not have the cultural context to understand that joke when I was young.

Rumiko Takahashi is so good at slapstick.

Yeah, okay, I don't remember half of what I said about Akane when I was young but I recant all of it. She is so fucking cool.

Imagine if you had to do this every single morning. Every morning. No exception. Just to get to school. At sixteen.

And keep in mind that this is sexualized violence. These guys are trying to overpower her because they think she'll have to be their girlfriend if they beat her up. Every single one of them is sexually harassing her. With violence.

Fuck this entire situation, y'all. I hope she gives them all life-ruining physical injuries that ruin their ability to get scouted as professional athletes at this critical age and turn them into bitter and misanthropic thirty-somethings whining on the couch about how they peaked in high school.

That's probably not how it actually works in Japan. My American is showing. But nonetheless!

She said "Kuno-senpai". She addresses him formally using his last name because that's a normal thing to do in Japan.

Subtitles, why are you changing the way characters speak to each other? The show is released with a dub and a sub alongside one another. If people are choosing to watching the sub, they don't need you to hold their hand and Americanize it for them.

She correctly calls him Kuno in the dub here. The dub is more accurate than the sub about this line. Don't. Do that.

This guy is such a dweeb he makes Jou-senpai look cool. They nailed Kuno, King Dipshit of the Jackass Mountain Akane has to climb each morning.

This is the guy who came up with the whole "Whoever beats the shit out of Akane may claim her as their trophy" thing. He probably watches Andrew Tate videos and writes internet screeds asking why women don't respect his authority and strength. Fuck this guy.

Seriously. He just. Said this. About some girl in another class. And the boys in the school were all like, "Oh, yeah, that sounds reasonable. First one to break her leg gets the girl! Thanks for showing me the best way to express my masculinity, bruh!"

A wacky setup for Akane's personal background but also a chillingly accurate metaphor for how the Manosphere functions.

For his part, it's pretty clear that what Kuno is attracted to is martial strength. He becomes interested in the "Mystery Girl" that appeared after Ranma "fled" pretty much right after she beats his ass.

He's kind of an interesting parallel to Shampoo in that regard. I never really thought of that before, but both of their interests are predicated on how strong Ranma is.

He also makes for an interesting dynamic for Ranma, from a gender perspective. Ranma's curse and the constant menace of Kuno forces Ranma to endure firsthand the kind of harassment that Akane has to undergo in her day-to-day life.

Of course, this being Ranma 1/2, Ranma's going to be getting that from both genders throughout the series. Rumiko Takahashi created a harem dodecahedron for her story, with Ranma and Akane being beset not just by rival suitors but also by rival suitors for their rival suitors trying to kill them and win the rival suitors' love.

Kuno's just one of the crowd.

But it was nonetheless an interesting choice to give Ranma a toxic male harasser as one of his suitors, that speaks to the interesting gender dynamics at play in the series.

One last thing. Something I really love about Ranma 1/2 is the way it uniquely changes the experience of just. Being around water. Like, the ever-presence of water especially in an island nation such as Japan is a constant threat.

You really don't think about how much water there is in everyday life until you have a Jusenkyou curse.

[voidheartkisses]

Okay hello hi hello,

First off you're amazing and a gift to the world, I wish I had even half your talent. Your last piece blew my mind and I just HAD to ask,

How long have you been drawing/painting for? I imagine forever but I'm always curious how long it takes before artists reach these sorts of levels where it evolves into full-scale projects as opposed to smaller hobbyist crafts. There are so many beautiful art pieces on this platform as a whole and I'm constantly baffled by it all

Sorry if my excitement is off-putting that piece is heavenly and my mind is blown. Hope you're doing well!

Hi and thank you! That's a good question

So I've been drawing since I was born, but I've been drawing digitally for 8 years. I think in the very beginning most artists should just focus on having fun, you'll basically improve by default

after a while you will want to improve. It will be slow, but this is the stage where you'll recognize what you need work on

I'd say the turning point is when you've finally gotten far enough into your art journey without any sort of formal training (ie, a lot of artists dont learn the basics/fundamentals first, which is fine since most of us start as hobbyists) But I think learning them really did help me a lot. You start to think more about how light and shadow lays, depth, 3D objects, and more.

I highly recommend watching this video about levels of art, it's been really helpful and motivating to me throughout the years

This part is going to be long so you don't have to read it but I just wanna give my personal journey and how I got to now if anyone thinks it'll be helpful:

(2017) With digital art, I started off on ms paint and occasionally ibis paint x. Mostly using anime deviantart bases (EMBARRASSING), but after a while I developed my own style based on the people I was inspired by at the time, I was just happy to draw and didn't care much about improving at this time

(2019) The people you look up to artistically will naturally change over time (and thats okay), after a while I decided to switch to firealpaca, where I guess I got more invested on how light and shadows work, as well as making my characters look a bit more natural and develop my own style, your preference in aesthetic may also change over time which is noticeable here

(2021) Eventually, I began to lean more into semirealism (which isn't everyones preference and thats okay! realism shouldn't be the ultimate end goal of art) but I really enjoyed making stylized characters look 3D and in natural looking environments, since I felt it spoke to my own experiences, a lot of artists draw from real life experiences. I focused more on anatomy at this time as well as textures and environments, composition also became a big deal for me at this time, as well as wanting to use different colors

(2024) The change from LINEART to DIGITAL PAINTING in 2022 was the hardest for me once I switched to clip studio paint, it was basically like starting all over and I was so lost. I had a lot to figure out on my own but I knew it was a transition I had to make to draw the kind of art I wanted. But I began to study and take more things into consideration, I didn't like my art so I simply kept going "I can do better", learning from my previous mistakes and slowly making something I would be more satisfied with. At this point art felt more like "projects" then anything, because I wanted to make pieces that were of quality and had time and care put into each of them, sure it meant there was no longer much quantity. but hey that's what my smaller Cult of the Lamb lineart drawings are for!! 💙

I'm still growing and I definitely have a long way to go, but I am very proud of my progress this year, and I'll continue to grow until I'm satisfied (haha im stubborn) I also want to develop my secondary lineart style that I do when I'm not painting, since I feel that is important too

in short; time, practice, dedication, and passion are the most important, draw what you love above all else because it will be your drive to keep going, staying motivated was the most important for me

Sorry for the long post 😭

[spanishskulduggery]

Profe 🍓:

I'm stuck in explaining myself clearly.

What's the best way to state these phrases en Español:

I'm looking forward to it

It sounds good to me

To "get on/in x" (I got on the train)

The literal translations sound "wrong".

#1 "looking forward"

This one is a bit of an idiomatic thing, but a few options. The first is simply estar deseando + infinitive which is "to be wanting to", like estoy deseando verte "I'm looking forward to seeing you" which is more literally "I am wanting to see you"

Aside from that, it's variations of esperar - I think a really common one is esperar con ansias which is probably the closest to expressing eagerness

el ansia isn't specifically "anxiety" but here it's like "anxiously awaiting" - usually el ansia refers to a kind of "yearning"; but the root word is both "anxious" and "eager", so it's that feeling regardless

[note: el ansia is technically feminine, it just keeps the masculine article because it's one of the words that start with A- or HA- that need that rule]

-

#2 "sounds good to me"

This is assuming you're not actually talking about "sound" which is usually sonar

But in general the verbal expression here involves using parecer with an indirect object; parecer is often "to seem" as in appearances

Usually the expression is: me parece bien "it seems good to me" or "it sounds good to me"

You also see me parece buena idea "it sounds like a good idea to me" when giving an opinion on someone's ideas

Another potential option is para mí perfecto which I've seen as "fine by me" or "works for me"

-

#3 "to get on/in"

The verb you're looking for is subir which is "to get into" most vehicles - trains, planes, cars, taxis, even roller coasters or amusement park rides etc. and it's usually followed by a or sometimes en

Literally subir is "to rise" or "to get up" or "to ascend", but it's kind of like "get on"

The only other variation is that bicycles and motorcycles, and horses, often take montar "to get on / to mount" - originally it came from mounting animals like horses and camels, but the same motion lends itself to bikes and motorcycles

As an example, you typically say subir al tren "to get on the train" or subir al avión "to get on the plane" - sometimes "to hop on"

If you were saying subir en la bici(cleta) then it sounds like you're going up a hill on a bike

Note: Sometimes subir is translated as "to board", like subir al avión can be "to board the plane"; it also works with ships that way - just know that the technical word for "getting onto a ship" is embarcar which is "embark" or literally "into ship" made into a verb. You may see embarcar in some settings, especially formal settings, but in general subir is more commonplace

[loneghostdreams]

TW:Blood? (Idk how TWs work sorry :< )

I finally managed to finish another Monty drawing and finish @olibird's character sheet! I'm so happy :)

Name: Randall Alvarez Montessori

Aliases: 'That recruiter', Monty , Andy

Nationality: (Dual nationality) Filipino American

Ethnicity: White American/Southeast Asian? Idk about ethnicity

Age: 45 DoB: July 16, 1979

Pronouns: He/Him Gender: Cisgender Sex: Male Sexuality: Straight

Height: 6'0

Languages: Tagalog, English

Which CoD Universe: reboot

Branches of Service: Philippine Navy

Affiliation: Shadow Company, unnamed law firm

Specialties: Law, Negotiations, Hand-to-hand combat, rescue operations

Personality: inquisitive, helpful, ambitious, sometimes aggressive, silent, reserved

Backstory:

Born is 1979 to an American Navy admiral and a middle class Filipino woman, he was kept a secret during early childhood before being taken to USA where he befriended Phillip Graves when they were kids.

His parents being strict, he constantly rebelled as a teenager, even more so when his parents separated and his mother returned to the Philippines. He dyed his hair red, as much as his father didn't like it. He dreamed to study law, making a bet with Graves to see who'd have a better life in the future.

When he turned 17, he left America to start living with his mother and became a lawyer a few years later.While in law school, he made a friend, an girl who's aspiring journalist, they later became closer, dated and married. When his father heard of this, he told his son to follow in his footsteps. "Protect your family from future danger. The law cannot bring back dead people.", as his father said. He joined the Philippine Navy when he was 26, and his son was born shortly after.

10 years later, his wife who's now a journalist, uncovered multiple confidential files that endagers lives of thousands. Randall came home from the navy to find his small family missing. He searched everywhere, even accused his superiors of assisting in their disappearance, causing him to be kicked out of the Navy. He returned to America while his father helped him investigate. He reunited with Graves, who promised to help him.

2 years after their disappearance, Randall joined newly formed PMC Shadow Company as a spy and recruiter. He saw multiple shadows come and go, and eventually started training them. Years later, he finally found out what happened to his family, he was devastated by their deaths, but continued in Shadow Company where he is until now.

Issues: Family issues

Habits: smoking, reading, overworking

Scars: long scar on left side of face, multiple body scars

Preferred method of showing care/affection/love language: acts of service, physical touch

Preferred way of receiving care/affection: words of affirmation

Eye Color: Black

Hair description: proper and formal, natural color is black but he dyed it red several times

Clothing description: (casual) Leather jackets, dark clothing (recruiter outfit) dark suits with SC labels (SC uniform) -normal SC uniform

Body description: fit, sleeper build?

Favorite Activities: sleeping, messing around with shadows and Graves, thinking about his family

Blood Type: AB-

Favorite color: Red

Favorite animal: red pandas

Favorite food/Dessert: Filipino street foods,any of them

Other Fun Facts: He's absolutely rich, his father's got a lot of things and only he can get it, being the only heir. He keeps his money hidden due to his fear of wasting it all away, working normally and absolutely staying away from other bad habits

[fuck-customers]

I feel like a prisoner to my current job. It pays well, but I hate the work that I do and the people, plus I don't feel like I suited for it. I've always dreamt of being an illustrator, I thought about working at an animation studio or being an art assistant to an illustrator. However I'm self taught and don't have any professional experience. People keep telling me I need to create a portfolio, but I feel like without any actual experience, I'll just end up at an entry level position (if I'm lucky). I've tried freelancing in my spare time, but that hasn't worked out for me. I'm unable to take a pay cut because I have bills that need to be paid and I'm the one that's supporting myself. I don't have family, friends, or a partner I can rely on financially while I shift careers. Even if I did, I doubt they'd support me for long especially when art is so unstable. It feels hopeless and I often think about whether the rest of my life will be like this and it makes me really depressed.

There are plenty of great artists that have had no formal training and have done amazing things. Create the portfolio. If you get offered a chance that doesn't seem right wait for the next. But you will never run if you don't take that first step.

-Rodney

[why-animals-do-the-thing]

Weird question but do you think its possible to become a zookeeper without a degree? I'm 29 and don't have the time, energy, or money to go back to college and fear I've missed my chance at my dream career. I'm not sure how to get experience or what I could possibly do to help my resume.

It’s definitely possible! Not super common, but possible - and much more so than it would have been a couple of years ago.

When I was in college (early 2010s) and wanting to enter the field, there was a pretty clear pipeline: four year degree, unpaid summer internships, then apply for a part-time or temp position somewhere, and volunteer somewhere until you get a first job. This is still somewhat of the way it’s done at bigger AZA facilities.

But, interestingly enough, things are changing. There’s two things really driving that. The first is the massive push for increased DEAI efforts in the zoo industry. After the big commitments AZA and many individual zoos made during the BLM protests in 2020, one of the big conversations that started was how inequitable zoo hiring and especially internship programs are. Requiring four years degrees and large amounts of unpaid labor before getting a job - and paying poverty wages once someone gets that job - biases success entering and staying in the zoo field towards people with generational wealth. I honestly didn’t think the advocacy that stemmed from those discussions would do much, and I’ve been very pleasantly surprised to see that I was wrong! There’s a been a lot of real movement towards creating paid internships and making hiring requirements more equitable. It isn’t happening everywhere, but I know it’s becoming more and more common (and last year there was a ton of presentations about this on the AZA annual meeting schedule, which is a huge deal). The other thing that’s happening is less formal, but equally fascinating. I’ve been present for a lot of discussions about how there’s a disconnect between what zoos are hiring for (formal education, complex resumes) and what skills the job actually requires. It seems like it’s easier to train people to work with animals and learn their behavior than it is to teach people practical skills like how to do manual labor without hurting themselves and operate heavy machinery. I’ve seen some discussions of how some of their most successful new staff have come from adjacent industries or even just other “blue-collar” jobs that involve similar types of work, regardless of what their academic background is. Which is great! Because that adds to equity and diversity of staff across the industry.

To start off the rest of my answer, there has to be a disclaimer that I’m not in hiring, so I can’t say for sure what will get you a job (and while I’ve volunteered and interned, I have never been formally hired as staff by a zoological facility). So my advice for the rest of this comes from watching and listening to a whole ton of industry folk for the past decade or so, and from what I’ve seen my friends do that’s been successful to get jobs in the field.

In terms of experience, the best thing you can do - and I hate to say this, because it does require a level of privilege to be able to do - is volunteer somewhere. It doesn’t have to be at a zoo. Anything that will give you some animal experience for a resume and references will be valuable: shelters, vet offices, riding barns, farms, even 4H. You need to be able to demonstrate that you’ve worked around a variety of species (even if they’re all domestic) and have people who can speak to the fact that you’re diligent, attentive to detail, and have common sense about things like safety protocols. If you can’t volunteer, try to find a job in any of these areas with similar skills. Or where you can learn them! Say you can’t get an animal care job, but you’re good at phones and people - you could get a desk job at an animal shelter, and help out with cleaning and animal enrichment when possible. Boom! Experience!

It’s also important to learn how to shape your current job experience to an application, which is something I can talk more about and maybe pull in advice from folk actually in hiring for. There’s a ton that can be applicable to animal jobs. Office work? You can probably speak to experience with proprietary software systems and record-keeping (which is a bigger deal than you’d think). Construction / landscaping / similar physical labor jobs? You know how to work hard in a range of weather conditions, keep a project on spec, have experience with complex project planning, and probably know a thing or two about basic safety stuff (don’t store heavy things above your head, lift with your legs, etc). You’re basically looking to communicate “I haven’t worked in this field, but here’s all the skills I have that will translate to this job.”

Realistically, if you’re coming in without a degree or a ton of animal experience, you’re much more likely to be able to get a job at smaller, non-AZA facilities to start (they might not even be zoos - there’s sanctuaries and petting zoos and all sorts of other professional animal care gigs). And this is fine and good! There’s lots of good ones out there. You can always use experience gained there to move up in the field, if it’s your dream to work at an AZA facility specifically. And a lot of people do that - you’ll hear some places talk about how they know they’re training zoos, because their staff get a foot in the door and then consistently leave for other facilities after a couple years. But there’s also a lot of reasons to stay with some of the smaller facilities. They’re often in areas with cheaper cost of living, and so a zookeeping salary will go farther. I’ve also seen that a lot of the smaller facilities - ones where like, staff know and interact with the zoo director frequently - tend to take better care of their staff. They may not be able to increase salary, but I’ve seen some of those facilities go the extra mile for their people in other ways when it’s possible. It’s a very different experience than being a small cog in the giant machines that are many AZA zoos. It’s the sort of thing you have to vet carefully, but when you find a small facility that really invests in it’s people, it can be very worthwhile.

You also have to think about the fact that you don’t have to start in zookeeping to get an animal care job! I’ve seen a lot of people start in education or in summer camp staff, and then use the relationship with the facility and their track record in those jobs to transition into animal care. Especially education, if you’ve got the skill-set, because you’re often working with ambassador animals or in collaboration with the teams that care for them. I’ve seen some people start in facilities or ground crew, too, but I think that’s less common. Getting your foot in the door somehow and building relationships is one of the biggest parts of getting a job in the field if you’re not following the traditional pipeline.

If you’re near enough to a smaller facility that you can visit regularly, do. Learn as much as you can about the zoo and what they do and what they’re involved in, to show that you’re interested and invested, and then go talk to someone there. Tell them exactly what you told me: this is a dream, and you’re really interested in their facility specifically, and you’re wondering what you should do to build a resume to apply for a job there. At worst, you’ll get some advice. At best, they might take a chance on you. I’ve heard of it happening. (The hardest part of this is, honestly, figuring out who to talk to - it’s not the sort of thing where you can just ask a keeper while they’re cleaning. But you can find opportunities, and then ask if there’s someone in management who might have time to answer a couple questions.)

So in short: yes. It’ll take some work and time, and probably some free labor, but it’s doable. More so now than any other time recently. Good luck!

[artist-issues]

Would love to know your thoughts on the Planet of the Apes series, or at least the newest movie!

This is so kind of you, to ask!

I started watching those movies before my formal education. And they're in that teeny little corner of my brain where I just like things, without having examined why I like them. In that teeny little corner, I have my critical thinking and movie analyzation turned off, and I just enjoy things like singing animals even if the movie is objectively bad (I'm looking at you Alpha & Omega 🫠) or Transformers. So yeah, Planet of the Apes falls in there.

I know. I just made a post about how important it is to train your tastes for good stories, and accept no junk food...and then the very next post was like "the future is meaningless but the monkey movie is now" ^^" Look there's a time and place for examining why you like things and I'm just saying I haven't gotten down the list to why I like the monkey movies yet!

Until now! Partly because you're asking, partly because watching the new one made me start to think about what I liked about the first three...because the new one hit me differently. So what I'm getting at is, I'll answer you, but I'm going to be "thinking out loud" and we'll find out what I think of those movies as I type, and it's going to be rambly. Sorry! (Skip to the bottom to read about the Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes.)

I Miss Caesar

My favorite character in these movies is actually Koba, but Caesar is the heart and soul of them.

There's nothing particularly unique about Caesar as a main character—he's a coming-of-age, great-leader-from-nothing Savior-type character. He doesn’t have many character flaws, he’s the idealist, etc.

But what makes you, the audience, love Caesar so much is that you get to see his story, and the whole driving hook of the movies—“apes with human intelligence”—embodied in him, from the very beginning.

Caesar has two really awesome things going for him. The first is that he is an ape, and you get to see his intelligence and his empathetic, human nature, grow in real-time. The audience is excited to see how he’ll respond to the simplest thing because he’s so believably a super-intelligent ape. You’re like, “ooo, he just noticed that he’s wearing a leash, and the dog is wearing a leash, so how will he respond to that comparison? Ooo, now he’s meeting other apes, is he going to notice that they aren’t as smart as him? Ooo, he just attacked a neighbor, but he’s smarter than the average animal on a rampage, so how will he feel about the moral repercussions of violence?” We want to watch an animal that’s becoming self-aware; it almost doesn’t matter what he’s doing, we’ll watch it, because that’s fascinating. That’s the first thing he has going for him.

But then the second thing he has going for him is that, even if he were human, he’s just a really inspiring, likeable character. If you rewrite Caesar as a human (but somehow keep the equivalent of “gradually becoming self-aware of his uniqueness as a creature” plot point) his story is still really compelling. Think about that scene where he learns what he is, for the first time, point-blank.

Once he learns who he is and what he is, he does not immediately turn bitter, or resent his adoptive father, or even try to change the status quo of his own life. He looks sad, and very contemplative about it, but when he loses his temper and gets taken to the ape sanctuary, he still wants to go back home. He wants to go back to living in an attic, with brief excursions to the woods on a leash. At that point he already knows, on some level, that he’s a super-intelligent freak of nature and could resent Will for making him that way or keeping him a secret. But he doesn’t.

He also shows mercy to Rocket, the bully ape, and makes him super-intelligent.

He also shows signs of being interested in Cornelia, his eventual wife—before she turns super-intelligent. While she’s still significantly stupider, on a whole lower plane of intelligence, than him.

They give him all these little touches, like the fact that he wants to play ball with the other apes immediately when he meets them, instead of being shy, or treating their naked stupid selves like they’re beneath him. Like the fact that he asks Will’s permission before he goes climbing. Like the fact that he gives them all super-human intelligence, instead of keeping that superpower for himself and leveraging it to his own advantage, or gatekeeping it for only the apes who are nice to him.

He’s awesome because he’s got all the protective, trusting, loving, humility of our favorite pets. But then he takes all those pure qualities and combines them with supernatural intelligence, and “noble leader of the pack” traits. So he feels like a wise king, even in the second movie, when, from our perspective, he should just be…a naked ape who talks in broken English and lives in a tree fort.

Probably the best character trait of Caesar’s is that he inherits this “family” mentality from his adoptive father, Will. He thinks that the difference between apes and humans is that apes are loyal and love one another, specifically “like a family.”

And what that means to Caesar is that you would do anything to keep your family safe. Because that’s what Will did. Will only made the serum that started this whole franchise because he was trying to cure his father of Alzheimer’s. Will was always willing to break rules and cheat the system and change the world if it meant he could keep his family safe, and that included Caesar, who was not his blood relation.

So to Caesar, being a family means you would never hurt the people in your family; you can’t hurt them yourself, and you can’t let anyone else hurt them—and you can’t do things that would lead to them getting hurt, like starting a war.

And that’s just really appealing. A noble leader whose whole heart is “family,” but also, he’s this really interesting animal-that-learns-human-empathy.

I was going to talk about Koba, but this is too long, so maybe in another post. Suffice to say, I think the first two movies do a really good job of pacing everything, so that you have plenty of time to fall in love with Caesar, feel like you’ve watched him discover who he is and decide what to do with that in real-time, and then feel fully invested in the world he’s trying to build.

Basically what I’m saying is, I think I just really love Caesar, and so does everyone else who watches him, because he’s really well-done. And Andy Serkis smashes this role out of the park. It’s like my favorite thing he’s ever done. He does it perfectly. And in the fourth movie, I just go into it…already missing Caesar.

War For the Planet of the Apes

I didn’t like this movie as much as the first two. The first two I’ve seen over and over again. But the third one is not as enjoyable.

I think I don’t enjoy it because a lot of it feels like gratuitous misery. I mean, I understand—traditionally, in an epic-scale trilogy, you develop your main characters over the course of the first two movies. They learn who they are, they commit to a mission statement born out of the lessons they’ve learned, and then, in the third movie, that lesson learned gets tested with the “ultimate challenge.”

Well, so, Caesar learned he was the leader of basically a naive species and the founder of a new world—and the lesson he took from that was, “to keep my family safe, I must protect them from hate.” (I know that’s broad, but what I mean by that is, Caesar initially took the apes to the woods when they were “reborn” as their own species to hide them from humans, who would fear and hate what they couldn’t understand. But then he had to protect them from a new form of hatred; the hatred of Koba, and other apes like him, who hated humans so much and hated anyone else being in power so much that he was willing to hurt “family” to satisfy that hatred.

So what’s the ultimate test of “to keep my family safe, I must protect them from hate?” Giving Caesar hate. Caesar is not a hateful character. He’s like the total opposite of that—that’s why he can single-handedly defend the ape species from Hate in general.

But you murder his wife and child in the first part of the movie?

That’ll do it!

Plus, it’s been a long, hard fight and nothing he has done since the “war” against “hate” started seems to be working, so he’s understandably tired even before Blue Eyes and Cornelia die. Then they die. And then the rest of the tribe gets nabbed. And Caesar is ready to focus all his energy on revenge, just like Koba.

So yeah, that’s the correct “ultimate test” of everything Caesar has learned as a character, to put him through in this trilogy. But honestly, it was just too sad to enjoy watching.

And remember how I said that the two things Caesar has going for him as a character that make the movies (which are all about him) so enjoyable are:

He’s a well-written, inspiring character outside of being an ape (we just talked about that side of the 3rd movie, how it’s the conclusion to that character.)

The movies are well-paced so that you’re fascinated by watching an animal become increasingly human-like and empathetic, without losing the best parts of a noble/niave/animal nature

Well. The problem is that, because of the way these movies go, the apes have to become less animal as the story goes on. The whole point is that they’re as smart as humans now. So they’ll make human-like mistakes, and start to come to some of the same “conclusions” as “early man” did.

What I’m saying boils down to, they stop acting so much like believable apes in War for the Planet of the Apes. They talk out loud more often than they pantomime or speak through obvious body language. Heck, Caesar has full on monologues or confrontations with the human villain, the Colonel, in the third movie.

What made his interactions with humans before so appealing to watch was that he would still act like an ape. When he wants the humans to drive him to his old home, he just lays in the back of the car and grunts and taps the window when they’re getting close to make them stop, without explaining himself. Like your dog might, straining at his leash toward home when he wants to be done walking. But we, the audience, like that sort of thing because with Caesar, we know there’s human levels of understanding behind all the appealing animal actions that make us think of our pets.

It’s that sweet savage naivety. It’s that fascinating simplicity meeting human wonder. You like watching Malcolm try to explain why they need to get the generators on, while Caesar just silently looks back and forth from him to the machines, because it’s fun to try and figure out what’s going on in his head. It’s fun to watch how the animal with superhuman intelligence will communicate that he sort of understands what the stranger wants. It’s also fun to see how the new species of superhuman apes will still act like animals with each other.

The whole fact that, even though they’re just as smart and technically non-savage, mentally, as we are, but there’s still a part of the apes that will just follow Koba if he beats Caesar in a fistfight, is fascinating. The fact that Caesar is the most “evolved” of the apes, mentally and emotionally, but when Koba challenges his leadership or insults his love for his family, Caesar will just straight-up start ripping him to pieces with his fists, is fascinating. You keep watching to see what an anthropomorphized animal really looks like, because they make that part so believable.

But in War for the Planet of the Apes, the Apes don’t have that contrast as much. You’re not getting to see civilized, fully-realized human characters share you, the audience’s, fascination with apes who are still figuring out what it means to be empathetic. You’re not watching anthropomorphized animals anymore as much as you’re watching…hairy, superstrong humans. Which brings us toooo…

Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes

Sorry it took so long to get to the part you asked me about 😅

They’re just hairy, superstrong humans in this movie. That’s all. They’re very clearly super-humanly intelligent, they walk less like apes and swing through trees almost not-at-all after the first climbing part of the movie. They talk out loud (even though sign language wasn’t completely abandoned, which I appreciated) even when they’re just talking to themselves. They look more human, in the face. It’s just a joy to watch Koba, and in this movie, Proximus, even though they’re bad guys, because those two characters have the most animal-like faces. So you love to watch their snarly, long snouts and teeth speak human words, in ape-tones.

But the main ape characters all have human-like faces. Too human-like. They look uncanny-valley-y in some shots. (Except Anaya, who I liked best out of the new main three apes.)

And like I said, they have these more-advanced cultures, which just makes them feel more human. It felt like I was watching a movie about, like, a tribe of post-apocalyptic humans meeting the leftovers of civilized humanity. Not anthropomorphized animals meeting the leftovers of civilized humanity.

I kept waiting for the apes to have those fascinating interactions with the human characters. I kept waiting for May to teach something to Noa and the other apes, and for them to get all fascinated and have like, an animal reaction. That never really happened. The closest moment to that was when she switches on the lights in the bunker and the apes whoop and stumble around confusedly. Or when Noa learns to curse. 🫠 Also, the apes don’t have any kind of interesting reaction when May murders the other human of her own kind. They just stand there, looking sort of surprised, while dramatic music plays and May looks stressed. It felt like that should’ve been a moment where the apes realize something profound or scary about humanity (that she’d turn on her own so quickly,) or respond to her like they might an alpha-animal who just killed a challenger, or something like that. But that doesn’t really happen.

The movie was kind of full of moments like that, where it felt like they were building toward something profound…and then concluded on a vague or undecided note. Can humans and apes live side by side? …We don’t know. Was Caesar using apes for his own gain, or was he a noble elder? We don’t know. (Well, we do, but the main characters don’t.) Was May just trying to re-establish a communicating human community, or are she and the other humans out to retake the apes’ world? We don’t know.

Other random notes:

The cinematography was really good. There were moments where I felt like I was standing in the scene, or like I was on a ride at Disney World that believably sprays you in the face with water even though it’s a virtual environment, or pumps the smell of trees into the room to make you feel like you’re there. I don’t know what it was about the way this was shot, but I felt like I could feel the sun, and the wind, and smell the rain, etc. I actually can’t remember the last time a movie made me feel that way, so the cinematography was great. The animation is good, too, despite the uncanny valley ape faces.

I can’t decide if I like Noa. I could tell they were being very protective of the value of slow pacing, and maybe that “feel-like-you’re-inside-the-screen” cinematography was meant to help with this, but I also felt like they were trying to make us feel like we were vicariously on Noa’s long, scary, melancholy adventure with him. It was definitely supposed to be an epic-scale coming-of-age for that ape character.

But I was a little bored. I didn’t need to see him walk from one end of a field of vision to the other every single time he entered a new area. (Especially not when he’s just walking, or worse, sitting on a horse who’s just walking. When he’s an ape. And all you want to do is see him climb and swing and flip.) I also thought the actor did a really good job of emoting, but there were so many scenes of him choking on blood after a hard fall or a fight, or crying, or gazing sadly into the middle distance for a long time. It was like, “I get it. I don’t need so much of this.”

Also, there were things I didn’t care about emotionally that I felt like I should have, in order to empathize with Noa. First off, his father and his father’s death. Noa made lots of anxious expressions and clearly wanted to please his father, I guess…but there wasn’t really an indication that his father was a tough guy to please. Or that they were super close. We didn’t get enough scenes with the father before he died to make us feel emotion that would carry us all the way through Noa’s journey, in my opinion. Even his two best friends—I felt like they were building up to some thematic thing about growing up together, doing everything together, etc. But they didn’t. That sort of went nowhere.

I also felt like the most compelling parts of the movie were when May had not yet revealed herself to be intelligent, and Noa didn’t like her…but they were slowly starting to trust and understand each other. When she stands up and calls his name, that was my favorite part of the movie. Not because it was a great callback to the impactful, iconic “The Animal Spoke” moments of Caesar. But because it was her, a dumb brute, learning to trust and rely on this alien-like creature that was so much smarter than her, and building that dynamic.

It was just that I was missing “animal interacts with human” fascination. But then it turns out they’re both human. Noa is just hairy and strong, and May is not.

Also I didn’t love the whole spin they took to communicate “nature over unnatural progress” with Proximus. I get it. The eagles are symbolic of nature and living in harmony with it. Proximus is symbolic of trying to cheat nature and jump the gun unnaturally. But I’m a Christian. I don’t find anything compelling, inherently, about the idea that it’s “nature” that causes us to “evolve” to what we’re “meant to be.” It also doesn’t even make sense within the context of these movies. You can’t have it both ways. You can’t have the reason apes become super intelligent and free be a non-natural drug…and still say that the non-natural drug was a bad choice with world-ending consequences. Which is it? Try to control nature? Or don’t? Because if you don’t, the apes still get treated like dumb brutes and rounded up for experimentation. And Alzheimer’s is never cured. But if you do, yes the brutes get freedom, but all of humanity goes through a brutal virus, your father’s suffering is prolonged, and your girlfriend tells you “some things aren’t meant to be tampered with.”

So like, which is it? Should the vault be opened and shared with the apes? Or should the eagles knock the mean unnatural King Ape off the cliff? I don’t know.

I don’t love that the movie ends with so much of that. But I guess it had to. Thats the logical next step of a series that is about a new species continually growing to be more human, and it’s the next step for setting up the next phase.

So that’s how I felt about all of that! Thanks for asking. Maybe I will talk about Koba someday.

[grison-in-space]

Hi! I've just stumbled onto the dogblr side of Tumblr and it seems fascinating. Could you recommend any fundamental reading/watching material for people who want to start learning about dog training/behaviour/cognition? It would also be cool to hear about how you, personally, got into it if you're okay sharing- it seems like a niche field and I'm curious about what the journey might look like for different people. Thanks! ^.^

Oh, sure! Bear in mind that my particular path is, um, actually much weirder than most folks': the dog training with clients is a very new (and very part time) development in my professional life. In my full time job, I'm a postdoctoral associate in neuroscience working on motivation and decision-making in the context of animal behavior. And even for that, my career path has been bizarre: I started out in population genetics, did the PhD in behavioral ecology with a side of metabolic neuroendocrinology, and have now wound up in a NIH-oriented lab focusing on topics related to sex differences, neurodivergence and addiction.

It just occured to me that the dog training thing puts me squarely on the grounds of applied animal behavior research, which means that I've done it! I've poked into all the disciplines that can be described as Animal Behaviour and collected all the achievements! I really gotta reinvest in the Animal Behavior meeting, huh. Oh, wait, no: I'm forgetting behavior genetics, which is an area of strong interest I've poked around the edges of but never myself published in.

See, animal behavior as a formal study contains at least four different disciplines of study that really only loosely interact with one another. Behavioral ecology often appears in concert within ecology and evolution, and it focuses on the study of animals within their own natural context according to their own concerns and experiences. Neuroscience is typically thinking in terms of understanding the mechanism of the human brain, and behaviorism is similarly trained on the universal mechanisms of learning and behavior. Applied animal behavior involves studying how to most effectively, safely, and ethically manage animals in human care, including both domestic animals and captive wild ones; it also covers finding out how to teach animals to do complex but useful behaviors, like training working animals. Neuroendocrinology involves studying how hormones effect changes in the brain and body: metabolic hormones, stress hormones, sex hormones, the works. Behavior genetics (and epigenetics) include studying the effects of genetic variation on behavior itself.

It's certainly not uncommon for people to jump fields once or twice, or to straddle an intersection of approaches over their careers. It's.... less usual to bounce around one's career to quite this extent, which I attribute to the fact that a) I have quite a bit of fairly obvious ADHD, b) I've never worked for anyone who hasn't had their own case bedeviling our focus, and c) I graduated directly into COVID, which meant that I had to figure out a solution on the fly when all the positions I had intended to cultivate dried up overnight.

Not that I'm bitter.

As for how I got into the dog training gig, essentially I like dog training, I really like this outfit, and I have some credit card debt I would really like to pay down. I wanted to meet and talk to more dog folks in the area and I also really missed teaching—I taught every spring and fall through my 8yr PhD, I'm good at it, and I really enjoy it. Since I've respected (almost) every instructor I've had through this outfit, and the one exception involved being listened to immediately about my concerns and increased supervision in response, and I knew that one of my instructors worked part time with them, I figured it might be a neat side gig. So far, that's been bourne out.

I also do have some longer term plans to do some behavioral genetics and neuroscience work on dogs, and I would like to incorporate some noninvasive experiments that use dogs from the general public. My facility also has a robust doggy daycare program and it'd be rad to work with them to build opportunities for everyone in a few years. I'm hoping to leverage a permanent tenure track job at my institution over it, but I might go in several directions from here. Predicting the direction of my career has been a losing proposition so far, so let's see what seems good at the time and stick around as long as I'm having fun.

As for how I got into dogs and dog behavior specifically? In addition to the ADHD, I'm autistic enough to have been diagnosed as a tween girl in the 00s, and my special interests never quite leave —they just flare up and simmer down in long periods over my life. Dogs are the first and earliest of these; my parents told me that they'd seen me gravitating towards the family Lhasa from pretty much the moment I could roll over on my belly. That seems about right. Dogs have been my gateway to huge corridors of my intellectual world, and dog training specifically have been a hobby for some time. In addition to my training gig, I'm experimenting with functional service tasks to support me as burnout and neurodivergence have limited my capacity.

Books and reading recs I'll try to get to later, mm falling asleep right now.

[clar-a-m]

Here's a bunch of sketches for an imodna zookeeper au i've had in mind for a while

WARNING please don't get mad at me about made up bug facts, those spiders have legs coming out of their butts for god's sake

If you're curious about more details about this au i'm putting them under the cut!

Most of the gang works at Mr. Eshteross’ zoo. Modern AU but does not take place on Earth, it’s Exandria but not really.

Magic is very limited and very rare. Most people don’t ever have any interaction with magic their entire lives and there’s not much knowledge about it in general, so there’s a lot of superstition about it.

All the different races exist as normal.

The real magic about this place is that there’s reliable and affordable public transport, and it’s a very walkable place, lots of people go around on bicycles and stuff. Using this AU to fulfill my dreams. (Imogen bikes to work!!)

The zoo is about to open a new exhibition about bugs, arachnids & maybe other creepy stuff. Laudna is hired to be in charge of this new branch of the zoo, and Imogen is assigned to help her put it all together and introduce her to the rest of the zoo. Their relationship develops and they KISS at some point (!!!)

They were both outcasts and very lonely because of their powers, and through each other begin to be more open and appreciate life a bit more.

Lots of fluff and good vibes!! Cute scenes with cute animals!! Not a whole lot of angst!! Maybe a bit sexy!! Why not!!

Imogen: has been working at the zoo for 2 years. Loves working with the animals and appreciates the fact that she doesn’t have to deal with too many people at a time.

Grew up working in her father’s farm, raising horses and other farm animals. Fell in love with it and decided to pursue it as a career.

Is an Animal Trainer, in charge of mostly mammals at the zoo. Keeps the enclosures clean, feeds the animals and trains them so it’s easier to do health checkups and such when needed. Also in charge of monitoring their health (brushing their teeth, weigh-ins, etc.)

Still has her powers, but more limited:

Lightning scars

Telekinesis

Telepathy (still has to block out people’s thoughts)

Dancing lights

Shocking grasp (can get as powerful as a stun gun)

*Still has bad dreams but nothing too special about it.

Is in charge of helping Laudna, the newcomer, develop the new bugs & other creepy things exhibition.  

Despite having been working at the zoo for a long time, is not very close with the rest of Bells Hells. They’re nice and she likes them but she’s a bit too hesitant to get close to people because of her powers (her backstory is about the same as canon). She begins to feel more comfortable getting closer to them after spending time with Laudna.

Only exception is Fearne. She’s very curious about Imogen and very insistent, so they end up being besties.

Laudna’s thoughts are like music and all that. Imogen finally meets someone who’s like her, and who’s even had a harder time than her but still is so full of joy. Imogen can’t help but want to know more about her, she wants to cherish the spark the she sees in Laudna.  

Sees Eshteross as a bit of a father figure. (maybe he helped her settle in after moving to Jrusar??)

Laudna: got hired at the zoo as the creepy things specialist, also just moved into the city.

Is used to moving around a lot, spent a lot of time living in the woods. Loved to pay close attention to what the little creatures where doing.

Formally graduated recently but has been taking notes in the field for a very long time (at least a decade?)

Still is undead and has some magic:

Looks half dead, has elongated limbs and fingers, black ichor, etc.

Fragile body but can easily pop back into place

Dark vision

Unsettling presence

Can siphon the energy of living things (could make a person pass out, or just make things colder)

Pâté is her actual pet rat, he has a condition that makes him look half dead too.

Very reluctant to make friends (has only really had imaginary ones until now). Expects everyone to just be scared of her and drive her away like they always do, but Imogen is a kindred spirit and helps her feel comfortable enough to open up.

As time moves on, gets close to Ashton and Fearne before getting close to the rest of BH?

Fearne: she and Mister are from the Feywild but no one really believes that, the Feywild is just folklore to most people. BH are not sure if they believe her or not because she is like that but she also likes to just make shit up on occasion.

Has an Only Fans

The zoo offered to take Mister in because no place would allow Fearne to raise a flaming monkey that could commit arson at any time, in exchange, Fearne can come to the zoo whenever she likes with no charge, and is allowed to bring a couple of people with her if she wants.

Comes to the zoo every day to spend time with Mister and loves hanging out with BH

Since she helps take care of Mister, she is allowed in some of the staff only spaces

There are rumors that she sometimes shapeshifts into an animal and sneaks into their enclosures, but that can’t be true right? One of the animal handlers is sure they saw an extra quokka one time but they were all cuddling together while sleeping so they must have been mistaken right?

Likes to chat with Imogen whenever she can find her. If Fearne sees Imogen working inside of one of the enclosures, she stares at her intently from the other side of it until Imogen makes a mental connection with her. They can talk mentally while Imogen works.

Imogen thinks it’s a bit awkward at first, but appreciates the company during boring tasks like cleaning empty enclosures. From the perspective of other visitors, it’s just this beautiful & weird lady watching one of the employees working alone in an empty enclosure for a long time.

Fearne tells Laudna about this at some point and Laudna occasionally watches Imogen work from a distance hoping she makes a mental connection with her as well (Laudna gets startled the first time Imogen talks into her mind like this because she wasn’t expecting she was really gonna do it. Imogen thinks she is very cute)

Gets invested in Imogen’s and Laudna’s relationship. Wingmans but tries not to push them too hard.

Sees the similarities between the two of them and hopes they can make each other less lonely.

Eshteross: owner of the zoo. Worked for the in-universe equivalent of the IBAMA (the Brazilian institute, look it up I guess) for years, fighting against illegal deforestation and animal trafficking. Opened the zoo with the inherited money of Mistress Prudaj, with the goal of educating people about wildlife, helping rescued animals and reintroducing them into the wild when possible.

Evelyn is his right-hand person and second in command at the zoo.  Worked with him during his last few years at the Nature Protection Institute Place. After he retired, Eshteross invited her to come make the zoo a reality.

Is very particular about the people he hires to work at the zoo. He has seen a lot of cruelty during his time at the Nature Protection Institute Place, so he only hires people he really trusts, people who he knows love the animals very deeply. 

Chetney: the zoo’s handy man. Is in charge of fixing, building and breaking things down. Makes lots of wooden things for the animals.

FCG: zoo’s veterinarian & rehab specialist.

Ashton & Orym: part of the zoo’s security team

anyway that's it. i'm not gonna write a fic about this or anything, i'm not a writer, but it was super fun to come up with all of these! If you like any of this feel free to do whatever with it i guess?

thanks for reading!

[daisydoesfanfics]

|Dogs or Cats?|

With all of the Genshin men

Description: Are they a dog person or a cat person?

Genre: Fluff, headcannons

Warnings: None

A/N: I love this idea honestly and I feel like some people have done this already but it's alright. I am a dog person btw (but I still like cats). Again this is my personal opinion :)

----------------------------------------------------------

Aether: Dogs

I feel like his personality is more like a dog than a cat. Plus he would probably take his dog along with him during adventures (I can sense jealous Paimon)

Albedo: Cats

I picture Albedo to like cats because they're initially calmer than dogs. He wouldn't mind if you got a dog though.

Al Haitham: Cats

Although he doesn't really like pets, he would probably get a cat. Mainly because they are less maintenance and need less attention. Plus dogs are too much for him :/

Ayato: Dogs

Probably got influenced by Thoma. He thinks dogs are a very loyal companion :)

Bennett: Dogs

Cats tend to stay away from him for some reason. He's also gotten scratched by cats all the time, especially when he goes to The Cat's Tail. Also would bring the dog with him to his adventures.

Capitano: Cats

I don't know why but I just feel like this dude loves cats. He thinks their cooler and stealthier.

Childe: Dogs

I think he would definitely have a Golden Retriever! He likes cuddles and so do dogs ;)

Chongyun: Cats

I feel like he would get a cat because Shenhe dislikes dogs :/ nah I'm kidding. But I feel like he likes cat more.

Cyno: Dogs

No it's not because he looks like a wolf. I just feel like dogs would tolerate him better. The cat would probably be like: "Damn this dude got no humor"

Dainsleif: None

Personally, he doesn't really like animals. But if you convince him you might get yourself a dog.

Diluc: Both

Though he likes birds more, he would still like dogs and cats. He's fond of both so it's a 50/50.

Dottore: None

Don't ever get him any type of pet. Poor animal might turn into an experiment.

Gorou: Dogs

Is that even a question? Dogs definitely, cats remind him of Miko XD.

Heizou: Dogs

He would train his dog to go investigate with him. Would get a dog who's good at sniffing.

Itto: Dogs

He thinks dogs are cooler and have a better vibe.

Kaeya: Dogs

He probably had a dog when he was younger.

Kazuha: Cats

Mainly because of Tomo :( he finds them easier to deal with.

Pantalone: Cats

He would probably spin around in his chair with his cat in his arms (like those bald villains in cartoons).

Pierro: None

He just does not like animals. Maybe a cat if you beg him enough.

Pulcinella: Cats

He's like a grandpa who takes care of many cats.

Razor: Dogs

Again no explanation needed. He thinks they're nicer.

Scaramouche: Cats

He probably wouldn't like pets but cats suit his personality and style better.

Thoma: Dogs

It's honestly kinda obvious. He likes cats too but dogs just hit different for him.

Tighnari: Dogs

The dog would help him during patrols. But I feel like the dog would try to bite his tail all the time.

Venti: Dogs

He thinks dogs are nicer. Besides he's allergic to cats so :/

Xiao: Cats

Dogs have too much energy he thinks. He would get jealous of the cat if you pay it too much attention so make sure to divide your time properly.

Xingqiu: Cats

He thinks cats are more formal and graceful with fits his clan more.

Zhongli: Both

He thinks both are sweet and nice. Might own both of them.