#and I'm like hm maybe if I knew someone for like 5 years and loved them a lot as a friend and trusted them maybe I could compromise

[itsaceokay]

I feel like people don't often fully appreciate how hard dating can be for demisexuals.

It just hit me the other day when I found out that most people are kissing by the first date and having sex by the third and to me that is just wild. And apparently, some people wait up to three months before having sex and that's seen as like a really long time and I'm sorry but is everyone okay???

After three dates a person is still a stranger and after three months they're at most an acquaintance - and people are not willing to wait longer and you'll be seen as unreasonable if you want to wait for a year or more??

[tonixe]

MOTIVE...

a/n: ZOOWEMAMA, NEW CELEBRITY CRUSH UNLOCKED. Yes, I DID JUST WATCH THE NEW HUNGER GAMES, AND THIS is PROBABLY LIKE THE ONLY TIME I WILL SAY, THAT ONLY THE YOUNG CORIOLANUS SNOW IS HOT; the movie was good asf, low-key jealous of the actor who played Lucy like I would love I mean love to just be proximity 5 feet or less like he is just so hot. **

warning: mentions of violence (threats), smut, p in the v, penetration, fingering, bathroom sex, enemy lovers trope...proofread (?).

pairing: young!coriolanus snow x fem!reader

word counter: 1.8k

You were perfect, the embodiment of a perfect daughter, student, and personality. You carried yourself with grace, and made yourself known as an individual with class and intelligence.

You have an outstanding academic standing, high grades, good social points, and were popular with your peers. A person with all that must have someone to be rival with or a person trying to one-up them. In this case, it was true for you, the last name Snow, made you snarl. The name Coriolanus Snow, made you grimace even. He was always one step ahead of you, if you were two, he would be one. It made you resent him in every single way.

Today was reaping day...the anniversary of making the district pay for their uprising against capital control and authority. You were wearing a black dress with a scoop necklace and small cut diamonds sowed on your dress, making it look like the night sky, it fell to your knees. Pearls waiting on your neck with matching earrings and a dashing pair of bloody red lips to match the blood that was ready to be spilled in the arena.

The building was busy with students, excited for the games to begin. It was supposedly going to be last, but you knew it was a lie. Why would the capitol stop the games, weren't their enemies not rebelling against them enough? Vigilantly waiting for it to start, holding onto a delicate glass cup with some liquid poured into, it as you sipped from the glass. You were conversing with a few of your peers, not friends. You weren't considered them anywhere near you, there were just walking money bags that socially and economically fueled you.

"Y/N, how would you prophesize this year's hunger game will turn out ?" Festus said, you looked at him. "Well...I, presume that it going to end as fast as it started" You declared, smirking against the glass before you sipped the liquid inside your cup, "I don't expect any of thoses things to survive fast" Felix agreed with your thought, "The same" Arachne added.

You loved basking in the attention of others, made you feel like you had some power, and if people liked you. They would agree, give, gift, allow, and offer anything to you. It was shortly outlived, "Finally, the star pupil," Arachne said, their attention turning to Coriolanus, and yours flickered to him as well.

You bit your lip at the scene, glaring at her before you looked at him. "That's a snazzy shirt, what are those buttons.. tesserae?" Arachne marvels at his shirt, picking out several details, you put your hands covering your mouth to hide your smile.

"Hm..that's why they remind me of the maid's bathroom," Coriolanus remarked, looking at the button, turning his attention towards the group, "Not surprising with the people you associated yourself with, Coriolanus" You commented, taking a sip from your drink, faintly tilting your head to the side, denoting Sejanus's presence from afar.

"How malicious of you, y/n. That was the most humane thing you ever displayed to me" He said, his eyes and yours making contact with each other, making the room oddly tense up. "I'm tender-hearted but not a charity" You affirmed, the grip of your glass getting harder as you spoke to him.

Were you jealous, no, never. Why would you ever be jealous of him? Maybe it was his high intelligence, the way he carried himself, his charm on everyone he talked to? or everything that was neatly wrapped in a silky satin red bow, that was an embodiment of himself. It was funny to you, that you had this 'discreet' loathe for someone, and that person was in less than 6 feet of you, proximity 2 people away.

"Well, I heard this year there is something called the 'Plinth' prize" You turned your attention to Felix talking, "Something about Doctor Gauls' being in the building, Plinth.." Felix turned his head, "I mean just look at his spawn" I turned my attention to Sejanus from afar. "Who knew you could buy your way into the capitol?" Felix finished, "Well, money does control everything" you muttered, cocking your eyebrows.

"Well, you can't buy class, I mean...have you looked at his mother's outfit, Oh sorry, his ma's..." Festus mocked before the group snickering, "Dress a turnip in a ball gown, and it will still be begged to be mashed" Coriolanus joked, flickering his eyes away from Sejanus.

"Don't do that we all know you like him" Arachne commented, " I don't like him, Arachne. I tolerate him. He's District" Coriolanus finished, cutting her off completely, made you amused. "That's a low blow" You mockingly did a sad face at him, "The low blow is being district" Coriolanus muttered, you smirked at his actions.

"Tolerate him, just don't encourage. I heard these games how immoral these hunger games have been, putting him in the arena must—" Festus spoke he cut himself short as Sejanus walked toward the group. The whole thing was funny, snarky remarks being thrown, and your lips were graced with a smile every time.

Your ears heard the ringing of the bell signaling the start of the reaping. You got into your seat, sitting right next to Arachne.

It went delighting, well for you. You got a capable-looking tribute, she looked promising to you, and her name was Hera. Interesting to give a poor girl, a high-class name. You were in the bathroom, powering your nose, fixing up yourself. Puffing the power puff on your face, leaving your face having a matte finish. Applying your signature color on your lips.

Your ears heard the door opening, but your eyes didn't bother to look at the person who came as you were too busy with yourself.

Feeling a pair of hands on your waist, your eyes flickering to the mirror, looking at the one who was responsible, only to met with the eyes that you so daintily hate. You quickly turn yourself around, "What are you doing here?" You exclaimed, turning your attention to the blonde that came in, Coriolanus. "Do you know what bathroom you're in Coriolanus?" You crossed your arms, glaring at him.

"It didn't bother you then, why now" He walked closer to your awaiting form, "Then, I didn't resent you," You stated, feeling his hands on your bottom, lightly spinning you in a halfway motion. "Are you serious going to this in the bathroom.." Your eyes darted away from him, "What if I said, yes?" He lifted your head up narrowly so that your eyes met his "...what if we get caught?" You really did hate him, how he made you feel, how he controlled you, but it felt natural to be obedient to him, his cold stare meeting yours.

"Let's wait still we do" He leaned towards you and whispered to your ear, before taking you by surprise, taking your body and placing it on the marble of the cold bathroom counter. Making you hiss from the temperature change, his actions were rushed taking your tights off with the motion of matching colored panties, discarding them somewhere else.

His lips latching onto yours, leaning you back to the mirror, your arms holding down for support. Moans trailing down from your lips, groans from his, your hands on your cheeks, feeling his tongue exploring the caverns of your mouth. Opening your eyes slightly from the hungry kiss, catching your gaze at the growing size that was bound to be released from his constricted black pants. You withdraw from the kiss attempting to catch your breath, feeling yourself unravel in front of the blonde gentleman. "Just put 'it' in already" You whispered, hanging your arms that lack strength on his shoulders, "Not yet, my dove" Feeling his fingers dancing under your dress, his finger making contact with the sensitive parts of you, making you shutter.

"Coriolanus....be gentle, you know im sensitive" your lips pouting before feeling the intrusion, making you jump in your skin. Your languid moans being ripped out from your throat, while he pushes you further, pushing the digit further in and taking it out, thrusting in a frantic style.

Your body jolted and bounced back from the force he used. He edges you on, till your skin is covered with a layer of sweat, and everything around you makes you feel hot. You needed to get out of his dress in some way, it was another layer that denied you, the friction you needed.

His slender fingers carved a way into you, reaching into parts of you didn't know you had, your head hung low, feeling embarrassed from the vulgar things you both were doing in the bathroom, the feeling of being caught was only a chance but was never low. Your eyes hesitantly look at the door, feeling your skin pricking, distracting you. "Coryo...I'm close" you whispered, something in him erupted when you said that, that..very nickname. His fingers removed themselves from you, making you quiver, dissatisfied.

"Y/N..I want you to use that name...every time I thrust into you" He spoke, his very words made you wet, if not impossible more attracted. His hands on your upper thigh, pulling you towards him. Propping your hip at the edge of the counter, your cheeks were flushed, knowing what was next.

Next thing you knew his pant were discarded like your panties, and feeling him lining up with your slit. His hand is on your waist massaging the muscle, before he pushes his hips to yours, the intrusion feels better, moans trailing down on your lips. His hip colliding with yours. Your ears hearing him groan in pleasure, your own mind on cloud 9.

Feeling yourself getting needier for a sort of release or satisfaction.

"C-coryo, I'm close" you whimpered, your skin feeling more hot, your dress making you uncomfortable. His cock fucking into you, your body jolting at the frantic push into you. Hooking your arms around, feeling yourself almost unraveling, "Me too, my dove" Coriolanus groans out, his hips snapping back into you. Before you felt a crash of waves coming down on you, your gummy walls clamping down around his cock. Hearing his groans in your ear, as he thrust into you a few more times before pulling out of you, and spilling himself on your stomach.

Heavy breathing was all you heard, no words just your body growing tired from the minute. "You did well" his hands caressing your cheek gently. Your lips parted, as you stared into his icy-like eyes. Your chest heaves out, placing your hands on his, leaning into his embrace.

You hate it, but you can't understand why you love it at the same time...it fills you with confusing thoughts, but every time you look at the same blonde gentleman you thought you were to loathe, but your heart skips a beat.

You gave him back a small smile. Finding yourself surrendering and freezing into the snow and frost—and your heart being held with a lock and key.

[blorbocedes]

hi nicologist blorbie, i like nico but i find his media personality kinda... too polished? like george russell but with more personality. like he's doing a performance but maybe it's just his overly therapized self-awareness. ur thoughts?

hshdjdj hello anon... welcome to the pantheon of the same complaint nico has faced his whole life 😫😭 from 2013-2016, to all the way back in Williams he was called ranging from "doesn't have a sense of humour/too German" to "too stoic/wooden/PR focused" the George Russell before George Russell. let's break down your question

the 2016 media narrative was actually "Lewis Hamilton parties every week vs Nico Rosberg has given up all pleasures to life to eat oatmeal and train" and their press con pictures were Nico being 😶. couple that when he was put against the other German on the grid, the naturally charismatic and joking seb vet, nico absolutely came across as a stick up his ass.

now, obviously, as you have called me a nicologist I'm going to have a biased take. let's talk about media personalities -- everyone has them. even the most animated of blorbos, daniel playing up being funny, lewis with his peace and love, even fernando refusing to explain what el plan is everytime 😈 (this is a man who owns being a menace)

some people refuse to play into theirs as much, like max, and accordingly the media characterises him as blunt/straightforward/harsh. the media is nicer to you when you work with them, which is why Daniel is such a media darling and the face of DTS, despite not being a top 5 race contender.

nico has always been aware of how he's perceived. there's a will buxton article about it that's pretty fascinating. even before entering f1, he knew he'd be World Champion's Son and his media personality while he was a driver reflected that; diplomatic, uncontroversial, says the right and boring thing (and yes, even lying about it 🤭 my darling care has the receipts). my fav nico moments are when he'd break off it a bit — the iconic "if Lewis wants to change something then he can drive cleanly himself" agdjjd while jenson went O_O [obv media personality =/= how they actually are]

present day nico, as an f1 commentator, I'm very curious what your idea of polished media personality is. cause to me, that means someone who is milquetoast, wouldn't rock the boat, impersonal and says the 'right' thing. nico is the guy who said Ferrari's current strategy team is worse than an F2/F3 team live on air 😭 (as he should), the guy who asked lando point blank what the difference is between p3 and p4 (who didn't know 😭 bless his heart), who said yeah why should max go into a corner thinking lewis is gonna miss the apex

peak rosberg shit stirring hehe

I actually don't even agree with nico always, like for instance when he said merc should've prioritised lewis over george in dutch (?) gp. like don't make me defend george but he was right on his call for softs and prioritising His race, but that's whatever

not a huge fan of the term overly therapized~ cause a lot of Nico insults is "this man needs to go to therapy" and when they find out he HAS they're like "this man has had Too Much therapy" like 😭😭😭 he cannae win...... I do call him the most therapized man of all time, but that's gentle ribbing. when people say it anonymously w/o any way for me to extrapolate intent I'm a bit hm 🤥

cause like if he was saying things like emotional labour and 'speaking my truth' that claim would have more weight... but you know who Would say things like that? [redacted] 🔫

coming back to your question. every f1 driver is doing a performance with their public persona, some are better some are worse. Nico is no longer in f1 as a driver and doesn't need to be careful and measured anymore, and To Me is one of the few fun personalities in f1 as a commentator. you can totally disagree cause it's a matter of personal preference.

Post retirement Nico, having a YouTube channel for Years and playing into the memes (his ig comments are a nightmare of the same equal machinery joke) is perhaps more aware than most how people see him. he also doesn't need to care as much, he can laugh at himself -- at his own expense. he even posted what is essentially a taking L's compilation

if his polished persona is coming across as a cringe girldad who is way too excited about electric cars then by god he's the greatest male manipulator out there

obv if you find him too curated/inauthentic that's your prerogative, but I I would ask; have you actually watched the guy or are you going off public consciousness/someone else's interpretation. i wish he was as conniving and calculating now as people gave him credit for, unfort this is a dude who geeks out over finding a charging station in Italy.

love him, hate him, you can't deny he's fun

[lalalaugenbrot]

15 questions + 15 friends tagged by @nougatbit

1. Are you named after anyone?

i don't think so but as far as i can retrace my name it's greek, somehow ended up in russia and then was made popular outside of russia via doctor zhivago's lara/larissa... (still have to read that!)

2. When was the last time you cried?

I cried from an allergy i have to certain skin cremes last night at the cinema... apart from that i don't remember atm but certainly not long ago

3. Do you have kids?

nope

4. What sports do you play/ have you played?

i did swimming when i was like 14 (i still like swimming a lot but i'm not in a club or anything anymore)

5. Do you use sarcasm?

no :-)

6. What is the first thing you notice about people?

this has always been a weird question to me... their??? face?!?!! (*laughs nervously* wouldn't that always be the first thing to notice about someone???)

7. What's your eye color?

blue

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

a weird opposition. i don't really like horror movies and i prefer the ending a story needs and deserves, so some stories (e.g. a story on two traumatised young men who love and need each other more than anything or anyone else in the world in a mediocre prime time crime show) certainly deserve a happy end, other stories (e.g. a film that displays some severe social grievances) often should not have a happy ending because there isn't one to be expected in reality either... except for sometimes, for example, when it is about two queer men in 1913 Britain, finding and loving each other against all odds and all social norms, written by a gay man in the same era, then of course a happy ending can be imperative even :-)

9. Any talents?

people don't tire to tell me how ~creative i am... and that despite my apparent total lack of (visual, auditory, sensory) imagination 🙃 so there's that

other than that... i think i am good with words and i write since i literally can write and nothing brings me more joy than having written.. writing has been like the most important thing in my life for 26 years now even though it has always been something that happens more like 'in the background' of everything else

10. Where were you born?

in one of the (imo) most village-like "Großstädte" of Germany... if i told you where you'd probably know it because of one specific thing... i've been all the way to other continents and people knew it just because of that

11. What are your hobbies?

most hobbylike things are probably analogue photography, building stuff around the house (shelves etc.) and going to the cinema (or like film in general)

12. Do you have any pets?

no, but i had mice and i miss them... if i had more time and more space to have an adequate place to keep them i'd like to have mice or rats again...

13. How tall are you?

1,73

14. Favorite subject in school?

hm. not sports. i had a 'compulsory optional course' in physics/informatics and i always say it changed my life bc that's where i understood that i like and am good at technical and computer stuff... i also liked pedagogy (nrw superiority), the obligatory history course in 12th grade specifically and in the last years also maths... god do i miss solving math problems 😭😭

15. Dream job?

i wrote this in my friends journal when i was like 10 and it is still true but i think i am a bit past the point where this will ever happen but it's 'director ' (of films)... but that involves networking and other people and putting yourself out there... and uh... i just don't see that happening (i have directed but not in the slightest professionally), the other one of course has always been 'author' and i guess that could still happen... someday in the future maybe... you know, when I'm a grown-up

tagging: @diersten @tiny-steve @sinnsenke @mcfif @black-cat-aoife @silverysnake @free-piza @lachricola

[wildcard47]

13 books tag game

Tagged by @what_alchemy and am finally getting around to answering!

1) The last book I read:

Last one I finished was Linda Tirado's Hand to Mouth: Living in Bootstrap America. Most of the nonfiction I read is well done but not super cheerful. Anyway, if you don't already know how much it sucks to be poor in America, it'll give you a bit more insight into why this country Is How It Is, etc.

2) A book I recommend:

I recommended the His Dark Materials series to someone recently, as a sprawling fantasy series that would entertain a teenage girl but also their parent. This may have been the first book I read that had Canonical Gay Love in it, lmao.

3) A book that I couldn’t put down:

There There by Tommy Orange. The voices and relationships were so compelling that I couldn't stop reading until I knew what happened.

4) A book I’ve read twice (or more):

More than half of the books I own are ones I've read twice or more, haha. Hm. Let's list: Good Omens, Sense and Sensibility, Love Medicine, Wishful Drinking, On Writing....there are more but I'm visually blanking on the various sections of my bookshelf and everything I've ever read.

5) A book on my TBR:

What isn't on my TBR? The stacks are endless, but I just picked up Woman of Light by Kali Fajardo-Anstine during a period of insomnia. So far I like it.

6) A book I’ve put down:

Too many to count, lmao. Sometimes I go through phases where I'll pick them back up because it wasn't the right time for me to read that thing. Mostly the ones that I don't like stay unfinished. I'll give it a couple of chapters, maybe.

7) A book on my wish list:

Sharp Objects is one I've meant to read forever and still have never opened. Does that count?

8) A favorite book from childhood:

L.M. Montgomery's Anne of Green Gables series, but especially Anne of Windy Poplars and Anne of Ingleside, because I loved the idea of the baby Blythe kids having all these rural Canadian adventures. Also: Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier. If you know me it's less weird that I was reading all of these over and over in the same year.

9) A book you would give to a friend:

Depends on the friend! IMO, I don't have an automatic go-to book or author. I think the last book I gave as a gift was actually to my dad for Christmas -- Octavia Butler's Parable of the Sower and Parable of the Talents. Also feel like I also do more book swaps with people, rather than gifting.

10) A book of poetry or lyrics that you own

Many poetry books in my house. The most recent poetry anthology I bought was When the Light of the World Was Subdued, Our Songs Came through because I love seeing what Indigenous poets do with form and style. Also picked up Fugitive/Refuge (Philip Metres) and Ancient Light (Kimberly Blaeser) at AWP this year, among others.

11) A nonfiction book you own:

Just bought Coming Out Republican: A History of the Gay Right because the author was interviewed in a newsletter I read regularly. Also: what are gay white men even doing being Republicans, etc.

12) What are you currently reading:

Ulysses, by James Joyce. And Moby Dick, although I'm not even out of the first third of the book yet.

13) What are you planning on reading next?

I have a collection by Mary Gaitskill that keeps itching at me, as well as a giant pile from AWP. Also think I'll be reading Beautyland, by Marie-Helene Bertino, very soon.

Tagging @terribleoldwhitemen @orbposting @adreadfulidea and anyone else who'd like to do this!

[princelylove]

Hello your highness!!! I hope you’ve been doing very well!! I hope your recovery is going smoothly and speedily!

The upcoming ramble is a bit informal so to soften the blow I will preface it with my thoughts concerning your works. Your writing gives me the same feeling as reading a good book on a spring day on a comfortable bench with a light breeze and where the sun kisses your skin and the air is fresh and new. Where the characters come to life, they breathe air, they speak, they move. Even the darker content is rich and full, like a smooth and decadent dark chocolate that you have to take small bites of to not be consumed in the richness of it. This is coming from someone who does, in fact, read Jane Eyre on the park bench in the spring and ah. Your writing really fills me to the brim with joy. I know you have not written a million things, but what you have written will stay with me for many years to come. You will definitely be the writer that I have to spend several weeks researching to find again years later when I feel the craving to reread excellence.

So I have this tiktok from several years ago saved on to my phone of this dude and he’s taking like. a photo shoot of himself and he’s one of like. 2 dudes irl I find attractive and for the past…. 3? nah like 5? years. I have been trying to figure out how this dude is so attractive to me. and it hit me like a TRUCK. It’s cause he’s EXACTLY how I headcanon Mista looking and i’m Baffled by the video every. single. time. It pops up on those ‘over the years’ photo collages every once in awhile and it’s so good everytime.

I hope this made slight sense and I once again send you good wishes and good sleep!!!

- ⭐️ anon

Hm.

The bruise went away, but the stitches persist in their bothersome ways. I've been brooding about it.

I'm having urges to poke and prod at you. I wonder how much time it takes you to type that all out. Do you think of it all day? Do you write it down prior, do you write it on the spot? Do you tremble right before hitting send, or do you tap it before you can psych yourself out, since the reward is so high? How many times did you reread everything? Do you stare at your notifications until I respond?

I am no man, but if I ever did a face/body reveal, I plan on making it onto that little list of yours.

Who knows, I might be writing when I'm forty. Maybe sixty. You'd imagine it'd get redundant after a while, as there's only so many characters and concepts I can mix and match, but you'd be surprised.

I'm the same with attraction, it's very difficult for me to find strangers attractive. Majority of my exes were people who grew on me and, before I knew it, I was studying the way they held things and worked it into my characters. Oh, to be in love again.

Not sending me said video or giving a description is absurd. I'm too curious for that.

I've already spoken a bit about what I think Guido looks like, but he's so........................ pretty. Let's go with pretty. He's a young man- he'd use "guy" but I'm the one speaking right now- that often gets his face pinched by older women. Ohh, what a good boy, always helping out. So handsome, don't you have a girlfriend yet? No special someone?

"Well. There's kinda someone I've been talking toooo...."

[littlesparklight]

Hello!! For the fic writer ask thingy: 3, 5, 21, 22 and 23

Have a good day/afternoon/evening/night!

thank you <3

3. Describe the creative process of writing a chapter/fic In the case of a one-shot... I just write. I only (generally, anyway) do bullet point style plot-points and ideas for conversations and etc in multichapters. I also generally write from beginning to end, but I've stopped holding so tightly on that; if I feel inspired to write a later scene, I'll write it out! Years ago, I didn't do plotting to such a degree/in the same style I do now, but with my TF longfics I started, and then I never stopped because it really does help me.

5. Do you like constructive criticism? Not... really, no. Maybe if it was someone I knew really well and, most important of all, I've deliberately asked them for concrit because I was uncertain about a story or something, then it'd be fine. But otherwise? I don't know anyone else from Adam, so if someone came in wanting to give concrit I'd be unhappy. I'm sharing a story that is how I want it to be - at the point I'm posting it concrit wouldn't be useful and thus not wanted.

21. Would you ever collaborate with another writer for a story? HM. I... don't think so? Or rather - I only do so when I RP lol. But RPing is its own beast, and while I love it, I don't think I could do collaborative writing fic-style.

22. Are there certain types of writing you won’t do? (style, pov, genre, tropes, etc) Horror, 1st person POV (this is a plague, fic-wise or in "regular" fiction. I hate it haha).

23. Best writing advice for other writers? Write what you want to write.

Like, yes. I often get dispirited and (really) sad that I am writing rarepairs (and especially rarepairs a lot of people don't like/don't like one half of them) or otherwise niche content in most of my fandoms (SW being a bit of an outlier haha) and thus don't get much in terms of response for it. But I'd rather pay that price and have fun while I'm writing, getting to dive into my ships and the worldbuilding and so on, in ways I want to do it, than try to write the juggernaut that I either don't care about or actively despise, just for more feedback.

That's just going to kill your creativity, in the end.

Obviously it's all well and good to say "write for yourself, who cares if you get comments/kudos/etc" because at the point we're posting a fic, we do want some connection and appreciation and proof others like the same things we like. That there's others who like what we as writers have put so much effort into.

I do honestly not really like that statement, because I do care about the comments/kudos/etc when it comes down to it!

But at the same time, doing anything differently wouldn't, for me at least, work. Because as depressing as it can be, I am having a lot of fun while I write. Even when it's hard, and a slog, and my brain isn't cooperating.

I definitely would not have that fun if I didn't write what I want to write. (And even if you do go try to write for the most popular ship or whatever, that's still not any guarantee anyone will like how you write it, or notice it. And then you've put effort into something you don't even like for something you didn't even get.)

So, again. Do what you want to, write what you want to write. Because you are the one who's having to write it, and the first person who sees that writing is you. You have to please yourself first.

[meep923]

༻Your Appearance Messed Me Up(yuyeon)༺

chapter 19/25 + bonus chapter

Soyeon's POV - after she received the text

I felt like as if my entire world had crumpled down. I was tricked, by the company, if not for the fact that the recoil was so hard, Yuqi would have been dead by then. She had trained me to always aim at the heart of the target. I could have shot her in the heart. I quickly went to garage and started the car, bumping into Soojin as she walked back into the house after a date with Shuhua.

"What's going on?" Soojin grabbed my hand. "It's all my fault. It's all my fault. Yuqi's... " I muttered and pulled my hand out of her grasp. I think Shuhua heard me say Yuqi's name so she followed me as I ran to the car. I quickly climbed into the driver's seat and drove off to the hospital. I think I was too fast so neither Shuhua nor Soojin were able to get onto the car I was driving.

I sped all the way to the hospital and ran to the operation room. I could see Minnie standing outside one of them. She was pacing outside the door. Although the gunshot that I had shot at Yuqi was not deadly, it still hurt her and it hurts me to know that she was going through surgery. I knew how painful it was since I helped her the first time she had gotten shot in Korea. I could still remember vividly how she was perspiring when I helped her extract the bullet nearly 5 months ago.

I buried my face in my hands as I waited for her to come out of the operation room. I felt Soojin and Shuhua coming to sit down beside me while Minnie paced around. After what felt like an eternity, the door to the operation room opened and a doctor came out. "The bullet extraction surgery was successful, she will be fine. She just has to remain in the hospital for 3 days to monitor her condition. Then, one of the nurses pushed the surgery bed out of the operation room with Yuqi on it.

I quickly ran to her and held her right hand. I sobbed. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry Yuqi. I'm sorry." I mumbled apologies over and over again. She lifted up her right hand, wanting me to stand up. She smiled at me while the nurse pushed the bed to a private room. Minnie, Soojin, Shuhua and I walked into the room only to see the silhoulette of a man standing at the window.

Yuqi did not seem to mind his presence. I however, was more wary of the man. "Soyeon, this man is my godfather. He used to date my mom, I think he is more trustworthy since my parent's marriage was more of a marriage of convenience than one of love. We know that my father's dead." Yuqi explained. "Hey, old man, that's my girlfriend."

The man at the window turned around to face me. I gasped. He is Mr Kim, the richest man in Korea. "Hm, hitting on older girls aren't you?" Mr. Kim smiled. "It's fine Soyeon, he's with us, he knew what happened before like, everything." Yuqi said.

"Are you sure we can trust him?" Shuhua said. "Not like a certain someone who might've done something to you, maybe cause that wound on you." 

"Shuhua, don't be so harsh on her. She was being used, like a pawn, by my uncle, Song Bin." Yuqi said in a warning tone. "What do you mean? Your uncle?" 

"I found a really old video about the last battle 5 years ago. It turns out Song Yang, my father was killed by Song Bin, his identical twin brother and my uncle." Yuqi said darkly. "That's true." Minnie added. "She showed me the video. As long as I find evidence that the man sitting behind the chair is Song Bin, I will be able to have him arrested for murder."

Everyone looked at her. "There's a lot of catching up to do." Yuqi mumbled. The next hour was spent listening to everything that Yuqi had been doing, including the fact that she was working with Minnie. Minnie was really shocked with the things that were happening, most of them were kept from her. 

[castle-dominion]

4x23 always

Liveblog

ooh <3 always, great title!

I can't believe it has been a whole season since the shot! Good recap sequence!

Ok lmao both my father & I have fallen down mountains before. You cannot catch yourself like that, & if you do then you are probably able to swing yourself to the side to land on that balcony there. Like you can see, she pulls herself to get a better grip there!

But once one arm falls, you need to pull it back up & grab a different (non-sweaty) part of the ledge. & while yes your fingers are strong, you would do better to Bring Up Your Other Hand

Ok def sounded like castle not "man" as the captions said, then it sounded like "someone" pretending to be castle, then it sounded somewhat like castle again. (first "beckett" might have been SD told to speak like castle, could have been a different person told so. Then it was def not castle, then it was someone pretending to be castle & then the "hang on" was castle again.)

Still tho, I don't much like the unrealistic hanging scene. Actually no I really did like it & I can find reasonable excuses for the stuff I find unreasonable. It's cool.

3 days earlier

no caps. I love it.

Alexis <3 <3 <3

oh lmao she is valedictorian. I sometimes relate castle & alexis to me & my mom, but in this situation mum is alexis (smart val) & I'm castle (barely passed).

or TWILIGHT! *blinks*

RC: You know, the most worthwhile things in life are often the most difficult. For example…

*phone rings from beckett*

RC: Wow, that really is a smart phone.

btw love the golden light

KB, with a bomb cute jacket: you're probably the guy who had nothing on but boxers underneath his gown.

Me: *ran away from my graduation & climbed my way on top of a giant dumpster/storage pod*

RC: That is so insulting. If you must know, I was naked underneath.

THEY ARE GOING ON A DATE A DATE A DATE

KB: You coming, Castle?

SDFHSKJDHF I LOVE IT

Hm, two shots...

Love a shoe thing

Ooh lockpicks. Nice. I finally picked one of my locks the other day. I was using my rake tho, not my feeling peg so I would not be easily able to recreate it. I want one of those clear locks that you can see through.

Cazadores, love it when they tap the r.

Ryan is not super pretty rn

lmao poor guy down on his luck broke af, goes into the military? Sounds about right. Screw the military, this poor kid.

Captions were missing the accent on the N

Marisol? parasol? paraplui? paranormal? paralysis? analysis? synthesis? Synthwave? Literally my little brother & I went down a thought path like this. we both have adhd btw. I can't remember what thoughts came after that but we got all the way to fruit-by-the-foot.

How old is she?

I believe her.

F yeah girl. They keep blaming him & you just want to get the one who killed him.

They are so wrecking the crime scene lol.

Love how he smells the gun to see if it was fired recently ugh so good.

MONTGOMERY'S HOUSE???

Love how beckett & espt know his address but ryan looks shocked & castle (who was friends, or at least acquainted with montgomery before the show) did not know.

That was ryan not esposito who said that. This time I could tell.

Doesn't he have three kids? These pics are so weird. Roy, his wife, an older daughter, some boy... oh maybe it is a boyfriend. The baby boy would be what like 5 by now?

Girl I hope it is Not Loaded. In canada you need to have your gun locked up, though on the farm we would only lock up the bullets not the gun.

Love her.

So he knew when they were out of the house.

Btw I love espt's scar on his forehead & beckett's mole on her cheek, both give a little bit of Character to them.

Well obv this is going to be a plot heavy episode, but now is about the time I'd say it has to do with beckett not just roy & his files.

It has been like a year, or almost a year, why would you still have his old work files? nvm a year is a really short period of time

Her handwriting right now...

also I like her turtleneck.

I mean it COULD be a coincidence & it could be just for their own personal gain like maybe some rando roy put in jail & it is not actually related to johanna (in fact it makes things harder for The Big Bad Guy bc now Rando has the files)

Castle is still here, he did not leave after all <3.

She is stirring her coffee so smoothly.

KB: Say something reassuring.

RC: There are thousands of break-ins in New York City every year.

He's right: "Montgomery worked hundreds of cases. Just because this guy was after files doesn't mean he was after your mom's case."

Castle now might be the time to tell her

Green intro. Remind me to take a pic of that

Martha <3

Ooh transition! Murderboard to murderboard!

Yeah no she looks tired af.

Holding hands & they are not quite together yet but aaaah

Esposito looks nice & ryan looks incredible. Must pic this.

They blamed gangs for johanna's murder too

A MONTH after mongt was killed!?

That door really WENT. they BLEW IT UP.

Finally! They are wearing helmets!

Esposito *gets file* *face goes*

Ryan *what???? what is it?* *takes file* *face also goes*

RC: Well at least that's something. What was the crime scene?

JE: It was a shooting.

Me: ...!

their faces upon telling her, you can see how much they love her

Ryan's hands dangling there like that.

You can see ryan feeling conflicted abt this.

RC: Maybe you should be off this case.

Me: So true bestie

He brings out the first name. He loves her so much & wants her to be safe. In fact, castle has confided in him, like that time he asked ryan to keep an eye out for stuff related to johanna's murder but didn't tell becks nor espt.

(that was a weird way of pronouncing "why")

Esposito is right tho in the sense that nothing will stop her. (Except maybe castle telling her that someone forced him into a deal for her life.)

(also ryan's hair & the way he avoids eye contact)

I think I remember seeing something in the s5 bloopers but this is s4... hmm weird. I'll clip it for u tho.

No the heck you do not hold all the cards...

Who is "they"?

tbh smith is kind of unhelpful with that. I mean the rest of it was good but... idk man.

also like, they just killed another person. a thief. How many more people are they going to kill if they don't get taken down? Beckett would SO be willing to put her life in (temporary) danger to take down this ring that not only wants to kill her but also other ppl sometimes. Is her one life worth more than the lives of so many others who die because of this? They are turning a blind eye on so many things to let her live...

Interesting lighting. like the scene with alexis.

Girl he is more afraid of Them than of you.

Oh or not or he's telling her stuff

"make him whole" interesting words

Same "they"?

He KNEW he would come back to the gang & he accepted that price? Even tho he literally said he just wanted the loan? & the wife said he would not get into that?

Vincente Delgado, being poetic: Caught a glimpse before the night swallowed him whole.

KB: Yeah, but how did they know [he was desperate for money]? How do they know his background?

Me: bc they can tap into police files?

JE: Because they knew him from the military. He was hired by somebody he knew.

Me: or that

RC, trying to keep everyone safe: But whoever's gotten close to that secret is dead. I think it's clear we're in over our heads here.

JE: Speak for yourself, bro.

of course she is. If you get a mysterious $10k & don't question it & then your husband ends up dead you too would run.

Oh no the poor son!

WHAT is going ON with the lighting?

Also this room needs to be brighter than the observation room.

GIRL NO. WE ALREADY HAVE ENOUGH NATIVE KIDS IN THE FOSTER SYSTEM

Captions come on, I want to read what she said! I'm hard of hearing but I am NOT monolingual! If hearing people can understand the spanish, I WANT TO SEE THE SPANISH.

Someone military.

Getting files from the dead cop's house.

Montgomery would DEF have duplicate files hidden somewhere of the important files at least.

I love a good church. We have a native church where I live & it serves as the base church for other ethnic churches. The huge & popular italian church got its start here, the eritrean church is still in here just getting started... Plenty of good programs. It is a great church. It is one of the few churches I feel comfy going to, as a queer fnmi christowitch.

They just happen to sit near the back of the church?

& he just happens to show his face?

You can just go through the files manually.

What does cid stand for btw?

KR: How are we supposed to investigate if we can’t investigate?

My little bro while I had it paused: "I work in homicide." 'YOU KILL PEOPLE?'

Nice zoom there, love it, going into her window murderboard.

Wow a lot of shots from the past there, love it.

Oh & now we see castle doing castle investigation at home!

& we also see esposito doing investigation at night in the precinct, which kind of sucks for him, he hasn't gone home yet. (Also they haven't made his apartment set yet lol)

What is that, a pair of pliars? A razorblade?

& we don't get to see ryan investigating?

Wow he shows up at her house & esposito called her & he was ABLE TO FIGURE OUT THAT IT WAS A KEYCHAIN?

But at least it's a haystack.

He's going to tell her!

& he is not talking about mental health.

Ok so now Tell Her!

RC: Before Montgomery went into that hangar, he sent a package to someone, someone…he trusted. It contained information damaging to the person behind all this. Montgomery was trying to protect you. But the package didn’t arrive until after you’d been shot. Montgomery’s friend…struck a deal with them. If they left you alone, the package and the information inside would never see the light of day. But they made one condition—you had to back off. And that’s the reason you’re alive, Kate, because you stopped.

He's crying he loves her he really does.

Ok chill! Also he was not the one striking the deal! He was a pawn!

Yeah I thought he was behind the murder too but he could not have been bc why would he SAVE kate? maybe he is NOT saving her but he is preventing her from looking into it.

Yeah bro now is not the time to bring it up

(but I always love a "because I love you" & it is always SO good)

RC: How are you s—? Because of everything we’ve been through together! Four years I’ve been right here. Four years just waiting for you to just open your eyes, and see that I’m right here…and that I’m more than a partner. Every morning, I—I bring you a cup of coffee just so I could see a smile on your face, ((AAA <3 <3 <3)) because I think you are the most…remarkable…maddening…challenging…frustrating person I have ever met. And I love you, Kate, and if…that means anything to you, if you care about me at all, just don’t do this.

KATE NO HE WAS NOT THE ONE WHO CUT THE DEAL LIKE YOU WERE A CHILD. MONTGOMERY DID BECAUSE HE LOVES YOU LIKE HE IS YOUR FATHER. AAAAAAAGH

Actually yk what? He should have told her ages ago that someone struck a deal & she would have to back off. Except she would not have listened, just like this conversation now.

KB: Let them come. They sent Coonan, and he is dead. They sent Lockwood, and he is dead. And I am still here, Castle! And I am ready!

Ugh I had to stop my watch (which was the plan in the first place anyway) but I had the opportunity to try on my computer, I wanted to finish watching the ep & maybe post some photos that I could more easily get, but the issue is the library DVDs we have are blue ray. My computer won't play them. So yeah that's fun. I ended up doing some recording for the audiobook which I have not worked on in over a year. (About since I've been on T.)

Ok good morning I have work at 16.00 (so I need to leave before 14.45) & it is only 10 right now so I have plenty of time. But ofc I am working until midnight so that sucks pine sap. Tho I will be let off 15 minutes early so I can get home w/o breaking the law.

sdfjkfdhdsjkhhdffdkash aaaaaaah hdskjhfdska;euvn

& alexis is graduating... I cannot believe it is 2012. I mean half of 09 (s1 was short), all of 10, all of 11, & "all" of 12 (tho it has kind of only been 6m of 2012 bc she is graduating now in june)

I put my graduation tassle on my bike helmet. I rode my back to school during the warm months & I had an extra year of high school after graduating so I got to bike to school boasting that I graduated.

AC: I have watched or read every graduation address ever written and compiled all the best advice into one speech,

Me: Good idea, you overachiever

AC: and then I read it out loud. And guess what I sounded like? A pompous ass.

Me: Yeah

AC: I’m eighteen years old. What the hell do I know?

Me: You are correct, you are missing a lot more life experience than you will end up with, but you have a lot of experience now & your current speech will be relevant to the people who are here in this situation.

That's one of the reasons I stayed in high school for an extra year, I did not feel ready. I mean I also was not ready in the sense that I needed to upgrade courses but other than that I also did not feel ready on a psychological level. As an adhder my brain develops more slowly so at 18 I had the executive functions of like a 12 year old. That last year was great. I was legally an adult, I had mstured since g10, I knew the people & teachers, I was willing to accept help but I had also grown more independent, & I had gained the respect of people/staff. I was not some baby googoo gagaa, they were not robot overlords, we were people. Equals as people, though they had authority over me.

Oof fidgeting with the ring hhh

The lighting again.

They don't know what happened last night to get castle off the team & they are thinking "he would NEVER abandon beckett like that" so they know smth bad happened.

Cole Maddox.

But they looked him up so don't They know they're coming for him now?

I like how ryan is watching beckett this entire time through here, he is not looking at the driver's license he is watching beckett

Also since the tiger don't they need to tell ppl where they are going?

(also ryan's sweater is great)

Becks used to be the goody two shoes & now ryan is arguing her to go the pro way

The ether?

Wow it has been 13 years!?

First names

IDK IF YOU DO GOT THIS

"or the entire graduation" I mean like it is fine lmao

WHO from the 12th?

RYANNNN

beckett SAID he was off the team but ryan didn't believe her, he knew castle would help, like that time beckett got montgomery to kick him out & then monty still got castle back to pick her up & take her away from the hangar.

But now ryan probably thinks castle truly is NOT on the team anymore

Y'all at least wearing vests?

"get out of the way" lmao

Girl grab it & go OR un-ass the place

Oof those sexy Xs on the place

I thought they said this place was clear

Wow that was way too easy. he just Took Down both of them.

So he comes in from the front door I think. Maybe the door to the kitchen actually bc becks falls in the living room it looks like. He grabs her & smacks her against the wall, then she falls the other direction & drops her gun, which slides over to where the doorman is lying too; then esposito comes up trying to attack the guy near the door again, arms out probably trying to take a gun or maybe maddox is the one who had the gun, Madx twisted espt to the side, then looks like he maybe kneed him in the gut & threw him down to the floor too. esposito is left reeling, doesn't look unconscious.

My little bro: Savais! ("know" in french) Javier!

back to the fight scene: becks then pushes herself on the floor to grab her gun. Madx is already running away. She gets up & runs after him, then he is already running up the stairs when she shoots at him.

You can tell they had multiple sets to film this here bc suddenly they are on a roof. Lighting is fun. I'd like to hear this episode commentary by the lighting one. (Sorry, I don't watch the credits most of the time.) Well, it is also plot heavy so I'd like to hear the writer & director but shush, I want Every episode with commentary, & I want some of my fave episodes commented on by several groups. I want to hear the actors, I want to hear the writer producer & director, I want to hear the DP & lighting one & the set designer & costume designer...

Also her gun. When did she cock it & turn the safety off? I would not feel confident running like that with a loaded cocked gun like that.

She could stop for a second & shoot him... I'm sure she could make the shot.

Oh wait she does.

Look up. He probably climbed it & is going to jump you from the top.

& he probably does climb it bc he managed to get behind u.

Why does he pick her up like that? If I were him I'd use my Cool Military Training to karate chop her shoulder & knock her out.

Ooh now that was a great scene, he flips her over his shoulder & she rolls & we see it from a bird's-eye angle of destiny long shot thing? So good.

There we go he finally kicks the gun away from her, but why kick with your foot? Kicks are not useful so high, they should always be low. Chi geuk or whatever.

She is really wailing on him & he is just Fine.

Kick him in the balls hun.

lol I slowed down the video & that kick was... well. Again, don't kick the face, kick the nuts. I cannot tell if he dodges it or if he gets kicked & doesn't flinch.

Also what happened there? She goes to attack him but the camera pans down & his hand is just kind of Out & she falls?

Solar plexus? Winded her?

XD the way he just picks her up

For a sec I thought they were going to kiss

Grab her gun & shoot her? Bro come on.

The people on the street was a good choice in filming this.

(why is he just waiting there?)

(I said that out loud & lil bro said "because he's Powafull!!")

btw where is eposito? Was he knocked out there? He didn't seem unconscious. If Becks got up & came out here, surely espt (even if he was unconscious for a few seconds) could be coming up to help... UNLESS MADDOX HAS ACCOMPLICES THAT ARE KIDNAPPING OR KILLING ESPOSITO RIGHT NOW AS WE SPEAK

KB: Just tell me who’s behind this.

As if there is One person, which doubtless there is not

CM: You’re wasting your time, Detective. You have no idea what you’re up against.

KB, hot af: Neither do you.

*tries a sort of double takedown which really just fails*

& now is the start of the episode. Why doesn't he kill her tho? Long live the king mufasa style?

Oh I see. She DOES catch herself for a moment on the big ledge, making her slow enough in falling to catch herself a second time.

Like you can see she readjusts her hand! She should start side-bar-ing to the balcony to her right.

Your fingers are surprisingly strong. She is doing all this flailing & readjusting & gripping that she should totally inch her way to the right

Ooh the music

Ooh a pushzoom

Maybe growing up with parents who rock climb made me too smart.

Losing one hand might make you swing which can be dangerous but girl Bring Your Hand Back Up. Hold on with TWO hands. Unless catching absolutely ruined your tendons so you can hold on as long as it is up there but as soon as your arm fell you can't pick it up again.

She is yelling for castle not esposito who is Actually There

I already went over the voices, but this time I went over them with my little bro. Whose voice did they use when? Was it Dever trying to sound like castle?

The wedding ring!

Also y'all, if someone is falling, you do NOT have the weight to keep them up. You need to anchor yourself.

See the only reason ryan did not also fall was bc ppl were holding HIM.

Again good music

(also upon slowing it down you can see the uh.. consistency in grabbing someone falling. Have you ever done that bar trick where you get someone to catch a bill? They cannot do it. In fact, we did a similar thing in biology class. They cut & zoom in a little bit. They make ryan's sleeve into beckett's sleeve somehow.)

Castle is not here babe. It sounded like castle bc you were on the brink of death.

& gates there. She looks mad, not concerned that becks almost fell off a building

At least someone else's hand comes in there too to help her up.

& NOW beckett reaches up her other hand.

See? they have ryan & the other one down low holding up beckett & then there are also (at least) two others who are holding THEM up.

The thing is, ryan would probably be too low to pull her up, he was just holding her up. The other one helped by taking off some of the weight & pulling so that ryan could reposition himself & use his weight to pull her up.

You can see tho that she stops *there* once her elbows are on the ledge. It is hard to lift someone up. They would need to lift her up enough that she can do a pullup & get her elbows on the ledge. Then they probably grip her shoulders/upper arms to help her up while she pushes up with her arms & gets friction with her feet. Then she would roll onto the ground. & THEN she would stand up & they would be face-to-face. I would honestly like to try out smth like this (in a safe environment) to see how it works for myself rather than my logic limited experience. I want more exp.

Ryannnnnn!

(again with the lighting)

I mean yeah communication is important babes. I'm surprised she doesn't fire them.

Also esposito looks so saddddd.

VG: Don’t you “sir” me!

XD idk why I find that so funny

they don't even wear uniforms tho lol.

Girl don't resign. Don't do this you're emotional.

btw esposito in the t-shirt is great.

She looked at the badge so fondly there before resigning.

Ooooof alexis' speech over this ending? immaculate.

Wow I really feel that.

oof she looks back at the chair castle sits in hhhh

(btw they took esposito's gun but not the extra magazines he has on his belt.)

*Esposito walks angrily past Ryan and grabs his coat.*

KR, sitting on his desk after watching beckett leave & now watching esposito get going too: Javi… I had to.

*Esposito leaves without looking at Ryan.*

(& then beckett takes the elevator but not esposito??)

*Ryan throws a book across the bullpen.*

(which like...??? we often see emotion here but he yote a book. What did it hit? Where did it go?)

Ugh the rain & Her SwingsSet! I looove the swingset location in this show. I read a fic after this scene recently & it was p good. ( https://archiveofourown.org/works/3122723 )

What song is this btw?

Self is a construct. You are a person made of all the people you surround yourself with. When mum & I make the exact same noise of sympathy at the exact same time, you know she raised me. When I adopt a new word into my vocabulary from a character on a show. When I make my tea the way a past friend taught me. When my brother gets a new fidget or display of physicality...

She ends it with always instead of putting the always first shfaskjdfhsdjkfhsjhf this episode aaaaaaahhh

"in our hearts that will be with us,, always."

See? Adults are meant to play too. xbox is not just for preteen to teenaged boys.

Eeeee he puts the tassle On His Lamp!!

Don't delete it don't delete it don't delete it at least send it to her before deleting it or smth hsdjhskjdh

(at least he still has the recycling bin lol)

Knocking on the door, it has been like one minute since she called. She was probably calling to say "tell your doorman to let me in"

(fun fact, according to that set design bonus feature in new york, caskett live a 5-10min walk from one another.)

YOU

FINALLY THEY ARE KISSING WHY DID IT TAKE FOUR WHOLE SEASONS.

Sorry for what?

YOU DIDN'T CARE?

yes YES this is GREAT

& the MUSIC

& the lightning+thunder & the closing the door

& HER SCAR (but no surgery stars from when they cut her open to fix her heart lol)

Oohhhhhh it is not the end!!

Wow man looks way younger

NOOO MADDOX IS HERE IN SMITH'S PLACE AAAAH ON NO

Why is there an obsession over kate beckett? She is surely not the only enemy of Them.

& that's the end of the season!

Ok I started at 10, it is quarter to noon, it took me two hours to watch like 15 minutes of show. Holy moly.

I need to get all the clips & bonus features I want & then I'm good to send this back to the library.

[cass1x1]

👪 for a family-themed headcanon / 😶 for a headcanon about a secret they know of / keep / 🏠 for a home-themed headcanon | hugo, max, jo!

@gerrykecy

hugo

👪 for a family-themed headcanon

his sister's husband had a brother also and hugo and the brother-in-law definitely almost hooked up at the wedding before both of them being like "hm maybe we shouldn't?" at the last second.

😶 for a headcanon about a secret they know of / keep

hugo is a horrible gossip. i'm not sure he could keep a secret to save his life. and if he knows it, it will very quickly stop being a secret...

🏠 for a home-themed headcanon

hugo lived in a shitty apartment before he got custody of kian. he bought a condo in what he hoped was a decent school district. it's one of those new ones where each individual condo is identical, and he has worked his ass off trying to make it not feel like a corporate hellhole idea of a home.

max

👪 for a family-themed headcanon

ooof hmmm...ok so max has a half-sister from another affair or whatever their mom is into. they met once when their mom was pretending to want to be a mom. it was the most awkward encounter in their life. the half-sister is fine and they'd probably get along if they were the same age and the circumstances when they met were different but they're 10 years apart and it was the most uncomfortable circumstance to meet a sibling so...yeah.

😶 for a headcanon about a secret they know of / keep

man there's so many... i think max probably has some insider-y info about like local cops and who is into some shady shit but they're very much like "who am i gonna tell? do i wanna get offed? no."

🏠 for a home-themed headcanon

PFFFt ok. max's van wasn't really set up yet but they have the exact designs for what they wanted to do with it. their original plan was to buy the oldest shittiest used junker they could find and outfit it but they actually think a newer one will last them longer. but yeah no there are extremely detailed drawings and specific product numbers of what they want and everything... if only they still had the van.

jo

👪 for a family-themed headcanon

going back into the lore to see what i've said about her family so far i think she actually lives kinda far from her fam (idk i picture he in the mid-atlantic like maybe maryland? and her family is further inland maybe like pennsylvania? far but not really realistically far enough to fly) so she only sees them for holidays and maybe like a once a year visit kinda thing. they super do not understand what she does except her brother who is like...weirdly embarrassed by it even though he loves other streamers?

😶 for a headcanon about a secret they know of / keep

oh god. hm. she knows some relationship drama about other streamers that she keeps to herself bc like...she would want them keeping it to themselves if they knew something about her. solidarity or whatever.

🏠 for a home-themed headcanon

she's lived in the same apartment for like 5 or 6 years so at this point the landlord was like "idgaf" so her room is painted and she's nailed shit to the walls and soundproofed her room with those soundproofing thingies that go on walls and the whole nine yards. her landlord is just like "y'know what if you ever move i'll make you paint over it and putty over the holes and whatnot but to be honest i don't think you're ever gonna move" he'll be mad if he ever finds out she's dating someone on the other side of the country >.<

[indignantlemur]

Thanks for the tag @the-lady-general!

fic author q&a

1. Why do you write fanfic?

A lot of my ideas begin with 'what ifs' and 'why nots' - and then from there they often take on a life of their own. I'll watch or read something and sometimes I'll ask - what could the characters have done differently? Did the scene have to go like that? What else could have been? Other times, I'm fascinated by a character, a setting, or some other element and I want to play around with that.

2. Which of your posted stories do you think about the most, even though the story is “finished”?

Technically, the only story I've properly finished is Deck the Halls (and Not The Vulcans) - but yes, I do think about it. I think about possible seasonal sequels, and whether or not there are more stories to tell in that vein or not.

3. If you could give yourself fic advice from when you first started writing fic, what would that advice be?

I would probably tell myself - read more. Read everything. Read things you love and things you hate. Learn from both and ask yourself, what would you do differently?

4. What’s your relationship to fic stats?

Oh, probably a little more codependent than it should be but vastly better than it was. Feedback and comments feed the happy little dopamine cycle that, in turn, fuels internal my writing machine. Kudos are lovely, too! I could go into a whole thing about not getting enough praise as a kid and the nuances thereof, but I won't. Suffice it to say, when I was a much younger and much less mature person I used to be devastated when I posted something and never got any kind of response. It would completely kill my desire to write for a while. I've since learned that putting that much weight and power in strangers' words is unhealthy and have learned to distance myself more. I still adore everyone who takes the time to review, and I treasure every question and comment, but they can't be my whole world when it comes to writing anymore.

5. Is there a pairing or scenario or friendship you miss writing? If so, why? If not, why not?

This one doesn't really apply, so I'mma skip it. <3

6. What motivates you to write?

A combination of a natural progression of years of maladaptive daydreaming, high creativity levels, and a talent for storytelling, combined with a genuine enjoyment of playing around with characters and worlds.

7. Why do you write for the fandom(s) that you write for?

Because those are the ones I have stories for! 😊 While I love many fandoms, I don't always have stories I want to write for them. Other times, I have stories but I don't feel like I'm ready to write them, or that I have sufficient education or experience on a topic the story centers around yet to do the idea justice.

8. If you’re stuck writing a WIP, what do you do?

I tend to try to take a break from the project for a bit and then ease myself back into it. I'll reread what I've written previously to try to pick up the threads, listen to the playlists I've made for the various characters, themes, and pairings, and rewatch or reread sources of inspiration as well.

9. What do you wish people knew about comments?

Folks who take the time to comment, even just to say that they liked X detail, or Y character, or even just a particular turn of phrase, are worth their weight in gold. It was actually a dedicated, chapter-by-chapter commenter who revived my desire to continue Emigre (@the-lady-general <3) by reminding me why I loved writing it in the first place. It felt like rediscovering my story through someone else's eyes, and suddenly I had the motivation to salvage all my notes and my documents after so many years.

10. Maybe there’s a question you wish had been on here. What’s that question (and answer)?

Hm. I can't think of any, I'm afraid. Thanks again for the tag! I'm terrible at tagging, but I figure I'll throw in a few here: @emilie786  @horta-in-charge @creature-of-the-stars @unknownfacelessfanfictions and anyone else who'd like to participate!

fic author q&a

@curator-on-ao3 thank you so much for tagging me! 💚✨ It's taken me a little to answer (almost) all the questions, but here you go:

1. Why do you write fanfic?

Sometimes I need to get an idea out of my head, sometimes I need to get an idea down on the page, sometimes I want to write for the sake of writing.

(The REAL real reason why I write fanfic instead of original fic is so that I don't have to come up with names and physical descriptions for a bunch of different characters. *shoves all-oc wip back under the floorboards*)

2. Which of your posted stories do you think about the most, even though the story is “finished”?

For now it's Change the World. That one was a lot of fun. I re-read it loads because it makes me laugh.

3. If you could give yourself fic advice from when you first started writing fic, what would that advice be?

You don't know English yet, but once you start learning: on eff eff dot net, cock means penis, not rooster. No advice on the writing, your Gerudo self-insert Mary Sue is already perfect. 💚

4. What’s your relationship to fic stats?

I don't care at all, unless I'm being sulky. I like to think that getting it out of my system relatively quietly makes me the charming ray of sunshine that you, kind and radiant reader, knows and loves. 😁

5. Is there a pairing or scenario or friendship you miss writing? If so, why? If not, why not?

I miss Joseph/Hemmer, that was fun to write. I couldn't stick the fix-it part of the fix-it fic, so I abandoned it in my wips, but I like coming back to it and rereading the more coherent scraps.

6. What motivates you to write?

Mostly jokes! My latest, Life, When It Gives You Lemons, is based on that genius Darmok and Salad at Tanagra pun.

(That's probably the reason why nothing ever came of my Joseph/Hemmer or Una prison break fics: there's enough dead kids and dead parents in SNW to stop me laughing.)

What motivates me for my current WIP is mostly "Can I do this?". The answer so far seems to be yes, provided I can string enough jokes together.

7. Why do you write for the fandom(s) that you write for?

For Star Trek it's mostly friends (hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, hi! 👋🖖), for LotR it's because somehow, there's still not all the stories I want to read out there, and for 40k it's my desire to throw war dollies around without ever having to memorize a different codex every time I blink.

8. If you’re stuck writing a WIP, what do you do?

I give up and add it to my ~private library~ or I ask for help. The bragging rights of producing something of AO3 quality makes editing worth the hassle. That's my hoard, that is. 🐲

9. What do you wish people knew about comments?

I'm really bad at answering them, so if you, smart and elegant reader, want a reply, trick me into a conversation by asking me questions!

If I don't reply that means your comments ended up as a coal on the warm cozy fire in my heart that's keeping the "Not A Talentless Hack" feelings at bay and I never figured out how to adequately repay that kindness. Thank you. 💚

10. Maybe there’s a question you wish had been on here. What’s that question (and answer)?

I couldn't think of any since getting tagged, so in the interest of finally answering the other nine questions: No, but thank you for asking!

This was fun! I've lost sight of who's already played and who might like to join in, so without pressure: @cicaklah @ichayalovesyou @indignantlemur and anyone else who wants to give this a shot!

[asherloki]

Hi! Since requests are open can you do fred weasley x reader who's in Slytherin? She's really shy and is often seen near Fred but when she can't find him she'll often ask others if they've seen him

She also has her own group of friends (3 or 5 people) where they're normally at Hogwarts and not home during holidays, but they often spend their time at hogsmeade and diagon alley

Kept his name

Fred Weasley x reader

A/n:- this request was really interesting! Hope you enjoy this !

As Hogwarts started again after holidays and new class came in, y/n also got admitted to Hogwarts with the new ones. She's a little quiet but her eyes sparkled with passion. Maybe her ambitious nature and passion helped her to be sorted in Slytherin. When they all were seated for the dinner her eyes fell on a pair of twins of gryffindor. To be more specific on one particular of them. He was 3years older so she could see they both were kinda prankster and she liked that about them. When she asked the boy beside her about them they said "oh they're the famous Weasley twins I've heard"

"Famous?"

"Yes Weasley family is famous for having as much kids that they can't afford" and started laughing.

"What are their names?"

A girl infront of her said "fred and George, now don't ask me which one is which one"

She found them really interesting. Y/n loved her house too much to be ever wanting to change it but wished if he could be in Slytherin.

The boy and the girl she talked the first day became her friends. And she found out what her favourite person's name is. When they went to them to give leaflets of an event of Hogwarts, coincidentally fred went to her and said "hey I'm fred, give this to your class and make sure they attends"

She had no idea what to do or say when their fingers brushed while taking the leaflet. She forgot to blink and could only say "hm" and look down. She could hear fred saying under his breath " attitude, typical Slytherin" but who would tell him y/n was having crush on him.

This way her years went on Hogwarts. They used to stay at Hogwarts for holidays because she liked staying there more than returning to her house also her guy friend's parents lived far so they wanted to accompany him, her parents used to come to Hogwarts to give her gifts, as being great wizards they never talked to the Weasley family the year they also stayed at Hogwarts to company Harry. Her both friend's knew she was crushing over a Weasley so they said "Mr and Mrs y/l/n won't like it"

"It's nothing of that sort"

"So you don't have a crush on him"

"Well, now it's been three years I've been friends with you both so there's no use of lying, yes I have a huge crush over him".

"We knew, whenever you were shy around him, whenever you asked where's he when he was absent and whenever you could recognise which one is him" said he laughing."

"But they'll be graduating next year why don't you ask him out?" Said the girl.

"You just said my parents won't like this"

"They might, he's a pure blood"

So she went to him and finally said "fred"

He turned and said "yes"

That's all , she was stunned again but managed to say "hey, how are you"

"Aa! Fine, until someone comes to attack Harry again"

"Yeah right"

"You want something"

"No, I was wondering that - that, how are you feeling now that you'll be graduating next year"

"Hopefully I do" said he laughing "but it feels good I guess"

"Are you gonna miss some people from here?"

"Oh yeah, Harry, Hermione and some few from Hogwarts and Luna"

"Oh , cool I'm going to my mates then"

"Oh wait I'll miss you and your friends, only polite people of Slytherin"

This made y/n feel good and she smiled since then she started spending time with Fred after he graduated she asked him "Fred? Do you think we can meet again as... as dates?"

"We can if it's only in mischievous places"

"I'd like diagonally and hogsmade"

"Cool we can do so much fun there".

Few years later after the Hogwarts battle y/n went with her son and her husband to take their son to Hogwarts express. There she found her two friends but their kids were older. They all hugged. So she let her son meet her mate's children. "So , all the best for your magical journey my boy"

He hugged her and got an window seat, y/n waved , so did he and said "make many good friends there Fred".

[koutarostiddies]

Fools In Love

Just some Makki smut for everyone. from my libido to yours. I barely edited this. i need to sleep soon because i have work in 5 hours. :/

High school crushes to lovers.

A/N: Reader is set up on a blind date by her friend/co worker after moving back to town after a month. Turns out her blind date is someone she's very familiar with.

CW: Reader is called baby, my girl, babe. Oral (f! receiving), fingering (f!receiving), protected sex.

word count: 2,567

Your grip on his soft pink hair tightened as he held onto your hips, grinding against your soaked panties. You moaned into his mouth as his hand traveled up and under your shirt.

Never in a million years did you think that you'd be in such a position with your high school crush. The same person that was the reason you ran out of town like a coward – cutting off ties with everyone in hopes you'd never deal with the hurt of seeing him with that woman. 

You had been back in your hometown for about a month. A better job opportunity opened up and you reluctantly took it. Who knows, maybe you'd manage to never see him again. Granted, you did miss the others. 

"A blind date? Seriously?"

"Oh come on y/n, he's super cute."

"Let me see a pic then"

You agreed – against your better judgement. Of course, just because it was a blind date of sorts didn't mean you were going to look your best. Self sabotage is one of your many strengths. You rummaged through your closet finding the one shirt that your old crush had gifted you. Why did you even keep it?

"Wouldn't be a blind date if you knew what he looked like. Well, if it helps, it's more of a double date. This way even if you don't hit it off me and Ren will be there."

"Bring a jacket. I hear it's gonna be chilly." Your coworker texted. Even better, now you can grab his old jacket that you snagged shortly before graduation. If anything was going to jeopardize your chances of finding love it was wearing a jacket with another man's name on it. 

You put it on and checked yourself out in the mirror,  "Seriously, what's wrong with you? What if he's a decent guy?" Before you had a chance to remove it you heard a knock at the door. Seemed your coworker was more excited about the date than you were. 

The ride to the cafe was longer than you expected for a ten minute trip. It was most likely due to your nerves. 

"Okay, so Ren is already there. He said his coworker is on his way."

"I seriously can't believe you two. Both of you are setting up your coworkers."

"Ren figured it was time for him to find someone new. He had a bad break up six months ago. From what he said the relationship wasn't too good to begin with. I guess it was something of a band aid relationship." You nodded, only partially listening to your friend. 

Once you set foot into the cafe you immediately went to order food. You were a stress eater and figured you might as well grab something to calm yourself. 

"Hey,  I never asked, but that jacket. Was it an ex's?"

"No, just a friend's." You responded curtly.

"Might not be a good first impression. Another man's jacket and all."

"How would he know it's another man's? Could be my family name."

"You're so stubborn. I'm gonna sit."

"Yup." You looked over the menu behind the counter when you sensed someone standing next to you. 

"Aoba Johsai, huh?" The voice seemed familiar but you couldn't put your finger on it.

"Yeah," You didn't bother to turn around.

"Hm. I had a similar jacket. Unfortunately my friend snagged it and ran out of town with it." That's when it hit you. You spun around and there stood the man you'd never thought, no didn't want to, see again.

"Makki?" Your voice trembled. You were going to cry. He still made your heart beat like crazy.

"Hello, stranger." You still couldn't process it. Of course you'd run into him when you were supposed to be on a blind date. "What brings you back here?"

"Better job."

"Not me?"

"Hah, definitely not you. Maybe Mattsun."

"Ouch."

"Come here often?"

"Are you…are you flirting with me, Makki?" You hoped, you really hoped he was,  but that was wishful thinking. 

"Nah, just wondering if we'll keep running into each other. Besides, would it be so bad if I was flirting with you?" No, it wouldn't, but you weren't prepared to tell him that. 

"What about you?"

"Well, funny story –"

"Oh my God, what are the chances?" You heard your friend's loud squeal from behind you. 

"What?"

"Y/n, he's the guy we were setting you up with." Your heart sank, how could it not. Surely you'd wake up from this fever dream at any moment.

"I'm here on a blind date." Makki laughed at your shocked expression.

"Glad to see you're hitting it off." She beamed.

"Of course we are, she's wearing my jacket after all. Oh, and the shirt I gave her as a graduation present." You couldn't help the blush that crept up your neck to your face. 

"Oh my God, this is fate. I have to tell Ren." And as quickly as she appeared, your friend was gone. 

"Guess we should order and go grab a seat." He stepped closer, his shoulder bumping against yours. "I missed you, you know."

"Yeah," You replied, fighting back the tears that threatened to fall. 

The rest of the "date" was spent catching up as your friend and her husband stared. Once the subject grew heavy they decided to say their goodbyes. 

"Hey, I really hope it works out for you two." Your friend bowed and left.

"Man, she must really feel bad for you." Makki teased. 

"Shut up."

"Make me."

"Just my luck I didn't bring the gag."

"There are other ways to shut me up," he leaned in closer. Were you hallucinating? Was this really happening?

"So, I heard the break up was pretty bad. Was it still that same bitch? "

"Way to ruin the mood." Again,  self sabotage was a strength. So was panicking. "Yeah. Should've never accepted her confession."

"Why did you?"

"The girl I liked liked someone else. I figured the best way to move on, or make her jealous was to date someone." Just hearing that he had a crush on someone hurt. What did it matter anyways; that was high school. 

"Why didn't you try confessing to her? "

"Too chicken. I didn't think I was her type. In fact, I didn't even know what her type was. She never discussed her crush."

"Guess we were both foolish teenagers." Not like you were any better now. "I never confessed to my crush either. Someone beat me to it. He seemed happy enough. I didn't want to ruin it." Without hesitation Makki reached for your hand. "You wouldn't have ruined it."

"What?" Were you hearing things? 

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but was your crush…me?"

"If I avoid answering does that count as an adequate response?"

"If I tell you that my crush was on you will you tell me then?"

"Makki please don't tease me."

"Why did you leave, y/n?"

"I couldn't bear seeing you with her, ok? She wasn't good for you and not just because I was jealous. She was always flirting with other guys and talking shit about you. I figured you wouldn't believe me anyways. So once I had the chance I applied to a university that was out of the prefecture. I couldn't stand it. I'm sorry, I was a coward." You squeezed his hand as you fought back the tears. 

"Well, now's your chance to make that confession. That is unless you don't –" You didn't let him finish his sentence before you pulled him in for a long awaited kiss. You didn't care that others were watching you, all that mattered was that you were finally kissing him.

"Shit, babe."

"Let's go to my place," You stood up and pulled him along with you. 

And that's how you got into your current situation. Your hands now under his shirt as you desperately sucked on his neck. He groaned as he played with your nipples. 

“Do you want to go somewhere more comfortable? Perhaps somewhere we can lay down?” 

“Yeah. I don’t want to cum on my couch.”

“From where I’m sitting if you’re gonna cum it’s gonna be on me.” He smiled as he cupped your cheek before pulling you in for a kiss. You reluctantly broke from the kiss to lead him to your room.

Your back hit the mattress with such force that it nearly knocked the air out of your lungs, but that was the least of your worries. Your clothes were taken off in a frenzy, thrown haphazardly across your room. Makki was never overly muscular but that wasn’t to say he wasn’t toned. He wasn’t playing volleyball anymore, but other than some softening around his midsection, he retained his shape rather nicely. You ran your fingers along the planes of his chest, tracing each dip and divot. He smiled as he held onto your hand against his chest. “You’re shaking.”

“You’re hot. I can’t help it.” You looked away, embarrassed that you were acting like an inexperienced virgin.

“How about you let me take care of you?” Makki leaned in kissing the corner of your mouth before continuing to pepper kisses along your jaw. Your nails bit into his back as he started to suckle on your neck, his hand settling at the apex of your thighs. He slid his finger along your slit, waiting for a response before he continued. You raised your hips as you whined for more attention. “That’s my girl.” His finger traced small circles over your swollen clit. He continued to kiss his way down as he slipped a finger inside eliciting a wanton moan from you. “Already so wet.” He smiled at you as you hid behind your arm. “Let me see that beautiful face, baby.”

You lowered your arm only to see him get situated between your legs. The look in eyes was nothing but predatory. He licked his lips before he started to kiss and nip his way up your thighs. 

“Fuck, Makki.”

“Hiro.”

“Hm?”

“I think considering the situation, it’s safe to say you can start calling me Hiro again. Or you can call me Daddy if that’s easier.” He chuckled as he placed a kiss against your clit.

“Ma–Hiro, shut the fuck up.” 

“My pleasure. I'd rather hear you instead.” His soft lips wrapped around your hardened nub as  he started to suck on it. You reached down, fisting his hair as your back bowed off the mattress. “Fuck, Hiro. Right there, yes, shit, shit.” You pushed his face against your pussy as you teetered over the edge. He slipped his tongue inside, caressing the underside of your clit as he did so. He was definitely experienced, but you weren’t going to dwell on how he got so experienced because you were the one that was now reaping the benefits of it.

“This is much better than I expected. Granted in high school I wasn’t really thinking this far ahead.” He never broke eye contact as he slipped two fingers inside, smirking wickedly as he began to fuck you with them.

“Cumming, shit.”

“Come for me, baby. I want you to make a mess so I can clean it up for you.” The scream that left your mouth as your orgasm took hold of your body, was louder than you had ever heard. You’d be mortified if you weren’t so incredibly horny.

“Do you have condoms?”

“What happens if I say no?”

“I’d say it’s a damn shame, but I hope you don’t mind a little Hanamaki running around.” He kissed your thigh.

“Bedside table.”

“Pity. I’m sure the kid would’ve been super cute,” he joked. You watched as he stretched over you to open the drawer, his chest within mouth’s reach. Before he had a chance to move away your lips were around his nipple. Your tongue flicked over it as he moaned. You wrapped your arms around his back and pulled him closer as you sucked on his nipple and rolled the other between your fingers. 

“Damn, babe. If you don’t stop I’m gonna come before I get a chance to fuck you.”

“We have the whole day ahead of us, Hiro.”

“Oh, aren’t we the horny little minx.” He started to grind against your pussy, chuckling as you raised your hips to meet his. “Shall I?” He held up the condom and you nodded in response. 

Makki was bigger than you expected and you felt a small shiver shoot up your spine as you thought about him stretching you out.

“Ready, babe?”

“Of course.” You wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him closer to you. You felt the head of his cock at the entrance of your sex and it took all your self control not to just slam him into you, not like he was doing any better. He held onto his cock as he slowly pushed past your folds, relishing in all the moans he was pulling from your lips; it was music to his ears. His thrusts started off slow, waiting for you to get acclimated to him, watching how your body responded to his every move. He watched to see what made you moan, what made you beg for more. It was all about you; you were all that mattered to him. 

“Faster, please Hiro.”

“Look at my girl begging for more. Faster? Like this?” He took your legs and rested them on his shoulders as he pounded into you. He held onto your ass, holding you as close to him as possible. He was so deep inside, his cock dragging along your spasming walls. He hissed as you tightened around him. Your climax was just as intense as the first, your whole body tensing up before you were an incoherant and fucked out mess. 

“So tight. I can’t hold on any longer, babe.”

“Then let go.” You pulled him in for another kiss, devouring his moans as his hips stuttered against yours as he neared his climax. His breath quickened the closer he got, his body burned and his whole body felt as if it was electrified. 

“Fuck,” he rested his head against your shoulder as he came. He hadn’t come that quickly in quite a while. Normally it would be seen as something to be ashamed of, but your pussy was just so good that there was no way he would’ve lasted any longer. Makki continued to rock his hips against yours until he softened.

“Damn, that was the best sex I’ve had in well…ever.” He rolled off of you and pulled off the condom, tying it off and throwing it off the side of the bed. It wouldn’t be the last one scattered across your floor that day.

“So, I guess it’s safe to assume that you probably like me back,” you kissed his shoulder as you moved closer to him.

“I think it’s safe to say that I definitely think we should start dating.”

“Are you only dating me for the sex?” You smacked his shoulder as you laughed.

“You got me.” Makki pulled you on top of him and reached up to caress your cheek. “I definitely want to give us a chance if you’re willing.”

“Hiro, I’ve been waiting for years for this moment. Of course.”

“Promise me when you get scared that you won’t leave again.” He took your hand and pressed his lips against it.

“Promise.”

[akitaauthority]

TFP If You Ship...

Ultra Magnus

I would also like to warn yall, I do roast the shit outta these ships and you. Some of y'all are nasty and need to be told/reminded, and some of you need to stay far the fuck away from me. Aight? Aight lets begin.

MagOp/OpMag/Magnimus/ Ultra Magnus x Optimus Prime: You pretentious bitch. You absolute fucking- I have no fucking words to describe how beige you are. You 're personality is plain oatmeal. Message me. I want to beat your ass. You prolly like them for the fact that they can relate to each other, and because of their importance to the war. But I hate you cause you also have more content. Fuck you. May your cereal turn soggy before you can eat that shit, may your drawing tablet get so hot in that one corner that you can fry bacon on that bitch. Fuck you.

MagMeg/Magatron(ew)/ Ultra Magnus x Megatron: you eat mayonnaise with a fucking spoon. Y'all saw that one scene with them on Darkmount and was just like "hm, but what if fuck?" and ran with it. You went to Ao3 expecting kinky shit, but all you got was stuff for IDW Megs and Mags and honestly baby, its gon' be okay.

Matchet/Ragus?/ Ultra Magnus x Ratchet: Yes we get it, the old man can dom now shut the fuck up. If taking your S/O to the nursing home as a date was a ship it'd be these old crotchety ass bitches. But, but, on a more serious note this ship can be so therapeutic for both mechs. These two were there way before the start of the war, they lived through it, and they knew Optimus all throughout. I imagine Ratchet would tell Magnus about Orion before his ascension to the primacy. I ain't ever been more depressed scrolling through a tag though, y'all broke bitches need whatever the fuck UltraScreen is having.

Magbee/Ultra Bumble/Ultra Magnus x Bee: I ain't ever seen two same heighted Cybertronians in a relationship, always one of'em gotta be spike suckin' height.

UltraJack/ Ultra Magnus x Wheeljack: Listen, listen, both these mechs love their solitary time and it can create so much angst, SO MUCH. Magnus feeling he must uphold his duties and Wheeljack having a mindset similar to a pirate. His spark belongs to the stars AND Magnus, but the stars will always come first. But bitch this is Ultra Magnus. We horny. We know Wheeljack is a fucking brat, and Ultra Magnus is his Dom.... baby we nasty. We nasty and there is no fucking denying that shit my GOD.

Ultrabulk/ Ultra Magnus x Bulkhead: Listen man as crazy as this might sound, I think this could work. Just like any other ship with Bulkhead you are fucking STRUGGLING though dude, you got like 5 fics you keep coming back to. You cry at night, knowing, and praying, that the gods will smile upon you and bless you with an update. You know you struggling when you only got three fics that have this ship as the focus. If y'all ban together I'm sure you can scrounge together like three pieces of fanart and a lint roller between the four of you.

UltraScream/ Ultra Magnus x Starscream: I don't see how anyone could hate this ship. Like, they literally work as really good foils to each other. You've got Magnus who is loyal as fuck, very militaristic??? And very much involved with the safety of his team. He's described as recklessly brave. Starscream on the other hand has a lot of character to work on and Magnus could help him along with that, and he can teach Magnus self preser- fucking-vation because Mr. "gets fucking chomped by a predacon for another bitchass Autobot" needs it. You're fuckass wants someone to save you, or you want to go absolutely apeshit. You are the mom friend everyone is worried about.

Ultracee/ Ultra Magnus x Arcee: Huh?? I mean like....Okaaaayy?? I mean good for you. This ship makes me feel the way that you feel when someone offers you candy you don't like, but you wouldn't mind eating it so you do. To be honest the people who ship this definitely see diamonds in places others wouldn't expect, but like you're so fucking unnessecary oh my god. Like you prolly add weird ass comments to other peoples statements, ain't nobody out here asking for an echo. Sit down.

UltraShock: ya like'em thicc don't you commanding officer Ultra Magnus? Anyway maybe y'all could team up with UltraBulk shippers and add a pile of used soda cans to the pile. Y'all are ghosts, do you even exist on this plane. My guesstimate on how many people actually ship this forreal is like 5.

Ultrawave/MagnusSound/Magnus x Soundwave: Listen if the Ultrabulk shippers are starving y'all ain't even corporeal. I show up to this ship with a fucking ghost talk box and some heat sensors, and like one boombox tryna see if GHOSTS even inhabit this bitch. Y'all aight? Are y'all good?? HELLO IN THERE (hello in there) (hello in there). Yall really go all out for the goth shit. Prolly hidin' in the shadows of my house waiting to strike.

Ultrascreen:

You, and I mean this in the most (derogatory) way possible, are a fucking

HOE

Literally looked on AO3 saw nearly NOTHING BUT kinky MF PORN. The oooonly plot y'all got is exactly how long Ultra Magnus can deny Smokescreen an overload. Why every time it comes to Magnus people make this by the books vanilla bitch the kinkiest one. YES I love subverting expectations but can I PLEASE get one fic where he sputters because his partner says a bad word. These two are the main ones who get this treatment, and baby I ain't complaining, but please. Please just- please sir I-I a-ah!

Ultradown: The UltraBulk, and UltraWave shippers come here every year, at the exact same location, at the exact same time, all for this ritual. The UltraWave shippers take out a boombox, some energon candies, and a supersized Cybertronian false spike. The UltraBulkers begin to sing the incantation to summon their fallen comrade: https://youtu.be/m9We2XsVZfc. They must do this once every year, they must battle the UltraDown shippers, though most would say they are a myth, the UltraShock and UltraWave shippers know better.

MagnusOut/KnockMagnusOut?/Ultra Knockout: Listen its not as horny as Smokescreen but the constant tension is definitely there. Knockout is just as horny as the depressed, RE-pressed ass Magnus fans and can you really blame him? Boyfriend? Dead. Magnus? kinky. Hotel? California.

/If I missed any let my gay ass know. Sorry if this ones lackluster, but some of these ships don't even really seem to have a fanbase?? Remember that these are TFP ships y'all.

Also I better see more Bulkhead content after this. Do you all have a problem with truly thicc bootyful babes or what?

[shiftingparadise]

ooh do u think u can do a modern aspiring classical(?) musicians eren & reader enemies to lovers, childhood lover, mutual pining but unknown to ea/o type story? (absolutely no rush tho😊) been competing against ea/o since kids, eren has a crush on reader & thinks teasing/picking at them is flirting💀 but also kinda sad cuz he knew he sorta already messed up his chances w reader from how he's "treated" them by accidentally one-upping them as kids most the time, so he keeps them close by teasing/bickering often just for any interaction. he does have a soft spot for reader but they get weirded out/confused(?) by his softness at times when eren's genuinely being nice instead of the usual teasing. maybe eren could get caught by reader playing his own lil rendition he made of all of reader's fav pieces into one that he was planning to keep to himself but know that u heard, u ask to play the whole thing & savor moment of u two alone unaware of how intimate the situation is, then confession✨ sry i always make up artistic/musical/ballet scenarios of person getting caught or oblivious to someone admiring their art😭🥺

Hi, I'm sorry you had to wait so long! I hope you like what I've done with it!:) Enjoy reading! 🤍✨

I really loved your request btw, it pushed me out of my comfort zone a little bit (so I'm really sorry if it's not that good) but I love being pushed out of my comfort zone, so thank you!

Word count 4.200

You’ve known Eren since you were kids. You ended up in the same music class after school, both playing the piano. For some reason, there was a fierce rivalry between the two of you. You both wanted to outdo the other, to make sure everyone knew who was better. To be honest, you didn’t know when it started exactly, but you could remember everything as if it happened yesterday. 

--- 

‘No, I’m way better than you! My mom got me a teacher ever since I was 5’, you looked at the brunette who was sitting next to you in your music class, ‘Watch and learn’, you could see a smug look appearing on his face. 

You and Eren had been in the same music class for over a year now. You both were on top of the class, and now it was time to decide who got the first solo. 

‘Miss Lucy, can I try?’, Eren quickly raised his hand, waving it in the air, ‘Of course Eren’, you could see the teacher kindly smiling at him. You narrowed your eyes, wishing Eren would make some kind of mistake. ‘Watch closely Y/N’, Eren cracked his fingers, smiling at you, ‘This is how it’s done’. You could see the brunette walking towards the piano, the smug smile never left his face. 

In the next following minutes, Eren played the complete solo with not a single mistake. You wanted that part more than anything, and you knew he knew that. He just wanted to outdo you, to be better than you. 

‘Wow, that was amazing Eren!’, Miss Lucy started clapping, smiling at your rival, ‘I can’t believe you’re only 10 when I hear you play. Your rhythm, the feeling you put behind it… It’s amazing!’, ‘That’s because you teach us so well Miss Lucy’, Eren smiled at his teacher before glancing at you, making sure you were hearing the conversation between the two. ‘Tch, kiss-ass’, you whispered under your breath while rolling your eyes. ‘Okay, so that’s it for today’s class, make sure to practice as much as you can! I’ll announce who gets the solo next week, oh, and don’t worry if you don’t get it! There’ll be plenty of chances in the future’, you could see her waving at everyone. 

You quickly grabbed your music sheets and put them in your backpack. 

‘Hm, I wonder who’ll get the solo’, you could see Eren standing in front of you, ‘Leave me alone Eren’, you stood up from your chair, brushing your shoulder against him. ‘What? Aren’t you happy for me?’, Eren’s hand grabbed your shoulder, ‘Don’t touch me!’, you turned around to him, ‘You knew how badly I wanted that solo’. ‘So?’, the brunette folded his arms, ‘I can’t help it that you’re not as good as me!’. 

‘Eren, Y/N, be nice to each other’, you could hear your mother’s voice, ‘Eren, is that true? Did you do that?’, you could see Eren’s mother looking sternly at him. ‘I-I did not!’, ‘Yes you did!’, you balled your hands, hoping your mother would intervene. ‘Don’t worry Y/N, you’ll get it next time’, your mother smiled before kindly placing her hand on the back of your head, ‘But mom! He doesn’t even care about the solo!’, you fiercely protested, but your mother raised her hand, as to say that she didn’t want to hear it. 

You looked over your shoulder at Eren. You could see his mom was angry with him, probably because he was screaming at her, like he always did. 

--- 

Another year passed, and it was once again time for the teacher to pick someone for the solo.

‘Hey’, ‘What?’, you sighed while entering the classroom, ‘Are you going to try and get the solo this year?’, ‘I’m not trying, I will get it this year’, you turned around to Eren, ‘I won’t let you take it from me!’, you narrowed your eyes. ‘Tch’, Eren started to laugh, ‘You can try all you want loser, I’m sure Miss Lucy will be over the moon once she hears me play’. You could feel Eren’s shoulder brushing yours, pushing you. You closed your eyes, trying your best not to throw your backpack against his head. 

‘So, who wants to try?’, Miss Lucy smiled while letting her gaze wander over her students, ‘I do! I do!’, you quickly raised your hand, hoping you got to go first, ‘Okay, go on Y/N, show us what you got’, Miss Lucy opened her arm towards the piano. ‘Yeah’, Eren smirked next to you, ‘Show us what you got loser’, ‘Shut up Eren’, you gritted through your teeth while grabbing your music sheets from your backpack. 

You felt nervous while walking to the piano. Not because you were afraid you were going to mess up but for some reason, you wanted to impress Eren. You wanted him to be jealous of your skills, no, you wanted him to admire you. 

You didn’t understand back then, you didn’t understand it because you were only 11, but now you know why you felt like that. 

‘I’ll show him’, you thought to yourself while sitting down on the piano chair. 

‘Good luck Y/N’, Miss Lucy sat down on her chair behind you. You took a deep breath while closing your eyes for a second, ‘Come on Y/N, you can do this’, you whispered to yourself before gently placing your hands on the keys of the piano. 

You started playing. You could feel every emotion of the song, it felt as if you were breathing it, as if you were the one who wrote it.

‘Amazing!’, you could hear Miss Lucy clapping from behind you, but you didn’t look at her, no, you let your gaze wander towards Eren. You could see him sitting with his eyes wide open, mouth slightly parted. When he noticed you were staring at him, he quickly folded his arms, looking towards the ground with frowned eyebrows. You couldn’t help but smirk, you knew he didn’t expect you to play this good. ‘So, do you want to try too Eren? After all, you two are at the top of the class’, Lucy smiled at him. 

You stood up from the piano chair, walking towards your seat. 

‘Good luck ‘Ren’, you whispered to him with a smug face, ‘Shut up loser’. 

‘Huh?’, you frowned your brows, looking confused at the brunette. For some reason, he made more mistakes than he’d ever done. Didn’t he practice? No, you knew him. You knew he’d been practicing, after all, he wanted nothing more than to outdo you. 

‘Okay everyone, that’s it for today’, Miss Lucy handed everyone new music sheets, ‘Practice this for next time. Oh, and I think it’s clear Y/N will get the solo’, she kindly smiled at you, ‘You’ve done a great job Y/N!’. 

Normally you would’ve jumped with joy, but not this time. You knew Eren had made those mistakes on purpose, you knew if he gave it his all he would’ve got the solo. Eren just had that ‘something’ when he sat behind the piano. It seemed as if he became fused with the instrument, as if he became one with it. Eren had that raw talent, the kind of talent you were just born with. You could practice all you want, but you would never be that talented.

‘Eren’, you quickly ran after him, grabbing his shoulder before he walked out of the door, ‘What loser?’, Eren rolled his eyes. ‘Why did you make those mistakes on purpose?’, you looked at his feet, not wanting him to mistake your words for gratitude. ‘I-i… I did not! W-why would you-‘, ‘Huh?’, you tilted your head. Eren normally never stuttered, and he certainly never blushed when you talked to him. ‘I didn’t make those on purpose!’, Eren smacked your hand from his shoulder, ‘Leave me alone loser’. You could see Eren quickly running towards his mom’s car, leaving you standing there. You never felt so confused in your entire life. 

 --- 

Years passed, and you were now almost 17. Over the years, nothing changed, not really anyway. Eren was still the same cocky boy who teased and made fun of you. The rivalry between you two was as strong as ever; but over the years, you grew to like him. Even though he teased you, even though he made your life difficult at times … You liked him. When he sat down behind the piano and the persona he created fell apart, when he let the music speak, when he became one with that piano… He intrigued you. Sure, Eren was handsome, but that’s not why you developed feelings for him. You fell in love because you knew that underneath his tough and mean exterior, there was more to him. There was this talented, complicated, kind boy. You knew that because (even if it only happened 1 or 2 times) he showed it to you. He showed you that he could be kind and caring.

‘Hey loser’, ‘What Eren’, you sighed while closing your locker, ‘Nothing, I was just wondering if you’d sign up for the Talent Show’. ‘Why would I? I’m sure you’re going to steal the show again, like you always do’, you rolled your eyes. ‘W-wait’, Eren widened his eyes, ‘Aren’t you going to sign up?’, you shook your head in response, looking up into his green eyes. You could see Eren was confused, ‘What’s wrong pretty boy? I thought you would like –‘, ‘It isn’t fun when I don’t get to compete with you’, Eren narrowed his eyes, looking away from you. ‘Well, Amy’s participating, she plays the violin pretty well. There’s your competition’, you gently pushed him away, walking towards your class. ‘W-wait’, you could feel his hand on your wrist. You immediately froze when you felt his fingers resting on your skin, causing goosebumps to appear on your entire arm. ‘You need to participate Y/N, otherwise, it isn’t fun’, you could see the brunette blushing while scratching the back of his neck. You couldn’t help but smile, ‘Fine, but don’t cry when I steal your thunder pretty boy’, you smirked at him before walking towards your class, ‘Don’t worry, you’re only a loser Y/N, always have been, and you always will be one’, Eren smirked from behind you. ‘Fuck you Ren’, you sighed without looking back at him, holding your middle finger up in the air. 

--- 

Another year passed, and you were now studying for your finals. You and Eren both applied for the same college. It’s not like you planned it, but you wanted to major in classical music, and when you heard Eren wanted the same thing, well… You kind of asked him where he wanted to go and based your decision on his. 

‘H-huh?’, you widened your eyes when you could see a note sticking on your locker: 

‘Good luck Y/N, even though I hate you, I don’t want you to fail – Ren’.

‘This can’t be from him’, you carefully took the note from your locker, inspecting every inch of it. ‘What?’, you could hear his voice coming from behind you, ‘It’s mine’, he chuckled while holding his hand behind his back. ‘Really?’, you raised an eyebrow, ‘I’m a loser, failing is what I do’, you shrugged your shoulders. ‘Shut up loser’, Eren was gently massaging the back of his neck, looking at his feet, ‘H-here’, he took his hand from behind his back ‘H-huh? A-are those for me?’, you pointed towards the flowers he was holding. ‘Of course dumbass’, Eren pushed the flowers on your chest, waiting for you to hold them, ‘Even though I hate you, I still want you to go to the same college as me… And not because I like you! Like I said… You’re a loser b-but.. Well, you’re my only competition so… Good look with your finals’, Eren gritted through his teeth. You could see that his cheeks were burning red. To be honest, you didn’t know what to say or what to do, you felt confused. ‘What? Do you want them or not?’, Eren widened his eyes, still pressing the flowers on your chest, ‘O-of course’, you quickly shook yourself out of the trance you were in, grabbing the flowers from the brunette, ‘T-thanks Ren’, you whispered while looking at the ground. ‘Don’t thank me, I’m only doing this for myself. I need you to pass, otherwise, I won’t have a reason to give everything I got’, ‘Yeah yeah, don’t ruin it Ren’, you smiled before walking away from him. You didn’t want him to see the smile on your face, to see how happy he made you. 

--- 

‘I don’t know Armin’, Eren sighed to the blonde whom he shared his dorm with, ‘I’m sure I’ve ruined every chance I got with Y/N’. Eren was laying down on his bed, looking at the ceiling. ‘Don’t say that’, the blonde boy responded, ‘She probably feels the same, I’ve seen the way she looks at you’. ‘No, I’ve always teased her, taking things away from her. I’ve been calling her a loser and dumbass my entire life… She hates me’, Eren placed both of his hand on his face, hating the way he acted towards you, ‘You should see her behind that piano Armin… She’s so fucking beautiful, so smart, so kind… I don’t know why I’ve always treated her like that’. ‘You know her better than anyone, right?’, Armin sat up straight, worried about his depressed roommate, ‘Probably’, Eren turned his head while looking through his fingers at the blonde. ‘Why don’t you write a composition of all of her favorite songs? You can play it for her when you’re done, or you can record it and give it to he-‘, ‘No, are you crazy? I would look like a fool!’, Eren sat up straight, frowning at his roommate. ‘Eren, believe me’, Armin smiled at Eren, ‘Girls really like things like that’, ‘Whatever Armin’, Eren stood up, ‘I’m getting coffee, want anything?’. 

At first, Eren hated Armin’s idea, but the longer he thought about it, the more sense it made. I mean, it would show you how much he cared about you, how much attention he paid to the things you said, or even didn’t say. It would show you how much you meant to him. So for the next month or so, Eren worked on a piece for you, but somehow it felt like he couldn’t play the piano anymore. Nothing was good enough for you. The piece had to be perfect, he didn’t want to miss a single beat, a single note, he needed it to be perfect, like you. 

--- 

‘Hey loser’, you could feel Eren’s hand on your shoulder, ‘Want to hang out after Music History?’, ‘No’, you said coldly, ‘W-why not?’, Eren tilted his head. ‘Because I’m going on a date’, you looked at him with a sparkle in your eyes. 

Eren could feel his heart aching, his stomach turning. 

‘A-a date?’, Eren chuckled, ‘You? I wonder who would want to go out with a loser like you’, ‘Eren really? We’re almost 20 years old… How long are you going to bully me’, you sighed while lowering your eyes, ‘I know we’ve been doing this since we were kids but… You’re the only one who really knows me… Please just… Just leave me alone if you can’t say anything nice’, you turned your back towards him, not waiting for a response. 

You were tired of his bullying, you were tired of being insecure, of loving someone who didn’t love you back. 

‘Hey Y/N!’, Eren could see a boy calling out your name, ‘Ready for our date tonight?’. ‘N-no way’, Eren widened his eyes, balling his fists, ‘What the hell is Jean doing with her? Out of all the boys, she picks that jerk, the one who sleeps with every girl on campus’. ‘Of course, Jean, can’t wait’, Eren could see you smiling at him, wanting nothing more than for you to look at him as you did at Jean. 

---

‘No, I’m not going to play it for her now’, Eren sighed to Armin, ‘She’s happy with fucking Jean’, ‘Maybe if you-‘, ‘No Armin, shit’, Eren grunted out, ‘I’m never going to play it for her, it’s obvious she doesn’t like me. She told me to keep away from her if I…’, Eren paused, he could hear his voice breaking. ‘I’m going for a walk’, Eren sighed while walking out of the room he and Armin shared. ‘Eren wait –‘, but Eren already slammed the door behind him. 

--- 

A couple of months passed, and you and Jean were dating. Honestly, it felt like it was going great. You were happy with Jean. 

‘Y/N, have you heard?’, you could hear Sasha running towards you, ‘What?’, you smiled at your friend. ‘Well…’, she was nervously scratching her shoulder, ‘J-jean… H-he.. Here, look’, Sasha held out her phone, ‘I thought you should know...’. 

It felt as if your heart was shattered into a million pieces. Sasha was showing you a video of your boyfriend, he was kissing some girl at a party, and his hands were moving across her body, feeling every inch of it. 

‘Y/N?’, Sasha whispered to you, noticing the tears in your eyes, ‘I-I’m so sorry… I just… I didn’t want you to hear it from anyone else.. You know, since I’m your best friend. I thought-‘, ‘No it’s fine Sasha’, you forced a smile on your face, ‘I have class, I’ll see you tonight, okay?’, you blurted out, trying to hold back your tears. ‘Y/N, wait!’, you could hear her calling out for you, but you didn’t turn around, you wanted to be left alone. 

You almost ran towards your room, hoping your roommate wouldn’t be there. You really needed to be alone right now. 

‘Y/N?’, you could hear Eren’s voice while opening your door, ‘What’s wrong? I can see you’re going to cry’. ‘N-nothing’s wrong’, you tried to keep your hands steady, wanting nothing more than to open the door of your room, but for some reason, you couldn’t find the right key. ‘Shit’, you grunted when you dropped the keys, quickly picking them up. ‘Here’, you could hear Eren’s soft voice, 

You noticed he wanted to pick up the keys at the same time as you did, causing you to bump your head against his.  

 ‘S-shit I’m sorry’, you grunted out while placing your hand against your forehead, ‘N-no I’m sorry’, Eren quickly helped you up, ‘Y/N what’s wrong? I can see something’s wrong’, his green eyes were looking worried into yours. ‘I-it’s nothing, I just saw a video of Jean kissing another girl’, you pressed your lips together, trying to ignore the singing sensation in your eyes. 

‘Stay calm Eren, don’t say or do anything stupid, even though you want nothing more than to punch Jean. Try to stay calm’, Eren thought to himself, trying to ignore the adrenaline that was pumping through his veins. 

‘Jean’s a low-life Y/N, don’t worry about a guy like him’, Eren replied coldly. ‘Really Eren?’, you sighed with tears in your eyes, ‘That’s all you got to say?’, ‘What do you want me to say Y/N? You’re the one who dated someone like him! You’re the one who decided to date the guy who’s fucked every girl on campus’. 

You widened your eyes, trying to grasp what Eren just said. 

‘So it’s my fault? That’s what you’re saying, right?’, ‘Well, it’s not my fault’, Eren replied, his voice was shaking. ‘I can’t believe I expected you to be nice for once’, you chuckled while shaking your head towards the ground, ‘You know what Eren? Fuck you, I don’t want to see you again. You’re nothing to me’, you could feel your hands shaking. ‘Y/N-‘, Eren widened his eyes, hating himself for not having any control over his emotions. ‘No, I’m serious Eren, stay away from me. You’ve never said anything nice to me, not once. I’ve known you for almost 10 years!’, you pushed him before quickly opening the door to your dorm, ‘Next time you see me, don’t bother to say anything to me. I don’t want to hear your ‘Hey Loser’ or I swear to God’, you looked at your shaking hands, closing your eyes before entering your dorm, hoping he got the message. 

--- 

You couldn’t sleep that night, so you decided to go to the music room. You knew it would be empty now, and you could really use some distraction. After all, playing the piano was always a coping mechanism for you. You could let out all of your emotions, all of your anger, sadness, frustration… 

‘W-wait’, you smiled when you heard someone playing Nuvole Bianche from Ludovico Einaudi, your favorite musician, ‘W-who’s playing the piano right now? It’s 4 in the morning’, you frowned while walking towards the classroom. 

‘W-what? That’s Moonlight Sonata from Beethoven’, you stopped walking, wondering which song would play after the next transition. 

Whoever was playing didn’t just play the original versions of the songs, no, they made it their own. You couldn’t help but notice it would be how Eren would play them. They were edgier, less ‘fragile’. Eren always did that to songs. 

‘No way’, you smiled when you heard your favorite song after the Moonlight Sonate, ‘T-that’s Gymnopédie No.1’, you started running towards the room. You needed to know who was playing. 

‘N-no’, you whispered to yourself when you could see the familiar face behind the piano. You were right, it was Eren. But why was he playing all of your favorite songs? It’s not like he knew that they were your favorite, right? You never told him anything like that… You decided to wait for him to stop playing, you wanted to hear more. Your heart was racing at the sight of him. He looked so perfect, so sweet, so kind… The way he touched the keys of the piano during Gymnopédie… As if he was grazing the keys, as if he was caressing them. It hypnotized you. 

‘Shit’, you whispered when you dropped your phone to the ground.  You quickly stood up from one of the chairs, embarrassed when you could see him looking at you. He must think you were some kind of stalker, fearing he was even going to bully you even more. ‘Y-Y/N?’, Eren quickly stood up from the piano, ‘P-please don’t stop’, you whispered, 'I-it was beautiful'. 'W-why are you here?', his voice sounded different from usual, maybe because he was tired. ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t want to interrupt, but y-you were playing my favorite songs’, you looked at the ground, ‘I’m sorry Ren, goodnight’, you walked towards the door. ‘I knew they were your favorites’, Eren’s voice was now shaking, ‘T-that’s why I played them’. ‘H-huh?’, you looked over your shoulder at him, you could see his eyes were hanging low, letting them wander across the keys. ‘I knew they were your favorites because… because I know you’, Eren walked towards you while scratching the back of his head. ‘I know you know me’, you whispered while turning back around, ‘But I never told you they were my favorites’. ‘N-no but… You always carried a copy of them with you… and I noticed you were always practicing them, trying to make them your own’, Eren softly grabbed your wrist, ‘I know that you struggle with the sharp notes in Gymnopédie, just like I know you struggle with the flats in the songs of Debussy’. ‘W-wait’, you turned around at him, trying to keep your voice steady, ‘H-how do you know?’. ‘I watch you play… At night, when you can’t sleep’, you could see he felt embarrassed. 

Unable to speak, you just looked at him, wondering why he would do something like that. 

‘I know it sounds wrong, but I can’t keep my eyes off you Y/N… I like you, I’ve always liked you. The only reason I called you names and teased you was because I like you and I…’, you could see him doubting for a second, ‘I love you Y/N, ever since we were kids. I don’t know why I acted the way I did, probably because I wanted to keep you close without you noticing that I liked you, but-‘. 

You didn’t let him finish. He told you all you needed to know. Eren cared about you, just like you cared about him. You swung your arms around him, pressing your lips against his. 

‘I told you… You’re the loser’, you whispered in between kisses, ‘W-what?’, Eren looked confused at you. ‘You confessed first’, you smirked at him, ‘So you’re the loser’. ‘I can’t believe you’re making a competition out of this’, Eren chuckled while pulling you closer again, ‘Fine, you win. I don’t mind if that means you’re mine’. 

[libraryofloveletters]

Brothers

In which, Luke develops feelings for Matt’s little sister. 

Luke Alvez x Reader, Brother!Matt Simmons x Reader

Warnings: fem!reader, sibling banter, cm level of case details/violence, mentions of death, guns and gunshots, lots of pining, mentions of pregnancy and birth, kissing.

Category: fluff with a little bit of angst 

Word Count: 3.5k

Author’s Note: combined this request and this request to come up with this :) 

-----

The phone rang at what felt like quite literally the crack of dawn. “What?” you groaned when you picked up. “Where are you?” your brother’s voice filled your ear from the other side of the phone. 

“In bed, where else would I be at..” you pulled the phone away from your ear to check the time “5:56 in the morning?” 

Matt chuckled, “do you know a girl named Jenna Parker?” he asked. 

“I do, why ? Oh god, you're not cheating on Kristy right ? I swear if you’re calling to lie for you Matthew, I'll-” he cut you off.

“Shut up y/n and what did I tell you about calling me Matthew? I’m not cheating on Kristy you idiot, Jenna was killed last night” you sat up in bed, “What ? I saw her at dinner last night” 

“Stay where you are and get dressed. Agents will be at the hotel to collect your team for questioning” he told you. 

“Matt I had nothing to do with this, you know that right ?” 

“I know, standard procedure. I’ll see you later” he hung up. 

You dragged yourself out of bed and got dressed. Jenna’s face kept reappearing in your thoughts, she had only joined your team recently and she was an absolute sweetheart. She was telling you how excited she was to join the team last night at dinner. 

A knock on the door broke your thoughts, you unlocked it assuming that your brother had come to get you. 

This was most definitely not your brother. 

The man at your door had dark brown hair and tan skin.Something about his eyes made you want to stare into them forever, they were a soft brown mocha colour. He had a piece of paper in his hand, his finger ran across the page, “are you.. y/n?” he asked you 

“I am and you are?” 

“Agent Luke Alvez, I’m with the BAU. I’m here to pick you up for questioning” 

“Oh yeah, get me one second” you turned around and headed back into your room, Luke followed you in. “Ever heard of privacy ?” you picked up your phone and a sweater. “Oh sorry, I can’t let you in here by yourself until we processed you” he explained to you. “Lovely” you pulled on your sweater, he motioned for you to head out of the room. 

You stepped out first, he shut your door as the two of you walked down the hallway. “Your last name is Simmons ?” he looked over at you as you got on the elevator. “Mhm hm” you pulled your phone out to text your brother. 

To Matt: On my way now. Your friend is weird. 

From Matt: Who’s my friend ?

To Matt: Handsome guy with the pretty brown eyes, think his name is Luke 

From Matt: stop objectifying my friends, I'll see you soon. 

Luke didn't say anything else to you, the drive to the station was quiet except for you conducting your own little interrogation. 

“How long have you worked for the BAU ?” you looked out the window, 

“About 2 years now. How long have you been swimming ?” he rebutted. 

“My whole life” 

It did occur to Luke that you might be Matt’s little sister. He knew how proud Matt was of you and your swimming career, he also knew that Matt was supposed to see you this weekend while you were in D.C for training. After all, the sweater did say Simmons on the back, it couldn’t be a coincidence. 

Luke walked you into the station, the rest of your team was already there. “Hi, you must be y/n” a tall woman came up to you, she had short brown hair and she looked remarkably good considering how early it was.

“That would be me” you smiled at her, “you are?” she stuck her hand out for you, “Dr. Tara Lewis with the BAU” you shook her hand. 

“Nice to meet you Dr. Lewis” “You too”  

Tara excuses herself from you, Luke walks you over to a waiting area. All the girls were separated for obvious reasons but with nothing else to do, you figured you’d irritate Luke. 

“Why can’t I see the rest of my team?”

“Standard procedure” 

“And what is this standard procedure ?” 

“It’s-” “Stop harassing him y/n” your brother said as he walked into the room. 

You stood up and gave him a hug. It had been so long since you last saw your brother. 

“Hey you” he gave you a good squeeze, “hey” you smiled at him. 

Matt led you to a room and you took a seat at the table. “I can’t do your questioning because I'm your brother but I'm leaving you in good hands” Luke and Tara walked in a few moments after. “You’re leaving me with pretty eyes over here ? I might just get distracted and forget what he asked” you chuckle, Luke looks away but you manage to catch the blush you comment caused. 

“Behave y/n, I'll be back later” Matt kissed the top of your head before walking out. 

Luke and Tara sit across from you. “How did you meet Jenna ?” Tara asked you, “she was on my swim team, she joined a few months ago” 

“Were the two of you close ?”

“Not really, we didn't hang outside of practice but we got along” 

“Is there anyone that would have a reason to hurt Jenna ?” Luke asked this time. 

You paused, something Jenna had said to another one of the girls cause caught your attention a while back. “Not that I know of but apparently someone had broken into her apartment a while back. She was telling one of the other girls and I heard them. She moved from there though” 

“Do you have the address ? I’ll have Garcia check if she filed a report” 

“47 Park Street, not sure what unit was hers” you drummed your fingers against the table. Tara’s phone rang and she excused herself before stepping out of the interrogation room. Luke was also on the phone but he stayed in the room, you took a moment to really look at him. He wore a black button up that fit him far too well for your liking, his hair was messy but not like he had just rolled out of bed, more like his hands had been through it a few times. His tongue ran across his lips while he talked on his phone. Luke's hands rested on the table, he spun the pen on the table around a few times before getting off the call. 

God were his hands pretty, the things you’d let him do to you with those hands

“Y/n ?” Luke’s voice broke your thoughts. 

“Hm?” 

“Do you know if Jenna was seeing anyone ? A boyfriend maybe ?”

“Um no boyfriend but she was seeing a girl she met through our coach��� 

“Oh okay, do you know her name ?” 

“Erica, uh her last name started with a G ? I’m not really sure” 

“That’s fine, thank you. I’ll be back” was all he said before stepping out of the room. You watched as he walked out, he stood by the window talking to some skinny guy. 

Your definition of the perfect man was Luke and everything he seemed to be, but you doubted that anything could happen between the two of you. He seems to be ignoring your glances and your flirty remarks all morning. Matt was the other issue, never would he ever let you date anyone on his team, let alone one of his close friends. 

--

“Alvez!” Tara shouts as she meets him up by the suv “Hey, need a ride ? I'm headed to the crime scene” he asks her, she nods before getting in the car. The drive was quiet, Tara kept glancing over at Luke and snickering. 

“Okay c’mon, what is it ?” 

“Nothing” 

“You keep looking at me funny, what happened ? something on my face?” Luke runs his hand over his face, Tara shakes her head. 

“Tara, what is it ?” 

“Luke, you’ve got a crush on Simmons” she laughs. 

“Matt ? I don't have a crush on Matt”

“No you idiot, y/n. You have a crush on y/n” 

“What? No I don't” 

Okay maybe Luke did have a tiny crush on her but Matt would never approve of him dating his little sister and he wouldn't let a crush affect his work life. 

“Alvez, don’t act stupid. I know I wasn't the only one noticing the glances between you two, I saw them since the two of you came in this morning. And that ‘pretty eyes’ comment ? she totally made you blush” Tara chuckled, “she’s into you dude, and you’re into her” 

“She’s Matt’s sister Tara, I’m not gonna do that” 

“So what if she’s Matt’s sister? She’s her own person. Matt doesn’t control her Luke.” 

Luke just hummed, Tara did have a valid point. Y/n was a grown up, she can make her own decisions. So what if Matt was mad at them ? 

God Alvez, what are you thinking ? That’s his sister, you couldn’t do that to him. 

Luke pulled into the hotel parking lot. He followed Tara inside but he wasn’t paying attention. He was there but he wasn't really there, his mind kept wandering back to y/n. 

Oh how he envied Spencer in that moment, he knew that he wouldn't remember how y/n looked exactly when he first met her but he’d keep that memory for as long as he could remember it. Her shuffling feet, her messy hair and her sleep laced voice, she seemed like an angel on earth to him. 

---

“Kid?” an older man shook your shoulder gently. “Hm, what is it ?” you stretched, you must have fallen asleep after Luke left. “you can leave, maybe get some rest when you get back to the hotel” the man chuckled, and you smiled at him. 

“Thank you,” you looked at his badge, “Agent Rossi” you finished your sentence. 

“Please just Dave” he smiled and opened the door for you, you stepped out of the room. “You’re Matt’s sister aren’t you ?” 

“That would be me” 

“He’s outside. He should be able to give you a ride back to the hotel, if not, I'm in here” Dave told you. 

“Thank you, it was nice meeting you” 

“You too kid” he patted your back and headed in the opposite direction. 

You walked out of the station to see your brother and Luke standing by the suv talking about something. “Hey ugly” you poked Matt’s side, “hey tiny” he hit your arm playfully making you pout. “I’m not tiny” 

“oh but you are” 

“shut it Matthew, I need a ride” 

“Where to ?” 

“My bed bro, Dave said I could leave” 

“You’re on a first name basis with my colleagues?” 

“Jealous that they’ll like me better?” you raised your eyebrows and held back a laugh. 

“Oh yeah totally oh my god, y/n please don’t take my friends from me” Matt said sarcastically while giving your shoulder a little nudge. 

Luke chuckled at the both of you and your banter, it was sweet how close the two of you were.

Your sweet moment was ruined by the sound of bullets hitting the suv. Matt’s first instinct was to wrap his arms around you, Luke stood there with his gun drawn and no one in sight except you and Matt. 

“What the hell was that ?” Luke asked, he stepped back taking a look around once more and turned back to you and Matt. “Are you okay ?” Matt asked you with his arms still around you, you nodded. “Are you okay ?” you asked him but your eyes were on Luke. Luke noticed your look and gave you a little nod, “I'm fine, let’s get you back” 

Luke left you and Matt in the parking lot with the keys to his suv before heading into the station to get Emily. Matt drove you back to the hotel, you sat in the parking lot with him for a while, Matt was showing you pictures of the kids and how big they’ve gotten. You had yet to meet the newest addition to the Simmons family, the little one that has yet to be born but it’s like the baby is already here. Matt was so excited even though this was the 4th time Kristy would be giving birth.

“You’re going to be okay ?” Matt asked you as he walked you to your room 

“Yeah, I'll be okay Matt” 

“You know what to do if you need anything right ?” 

“Yes Matt, I'll call my super cool FBI agent for a brother to come rescue me” you laughed making Matt roll his eyes.

“That’s exactly what you’ll do, now you’re sure you don’t want to come back to my place ? Kristy and the kids are at home and I’m sure they’d love to see their aunt” 

“Hm, maybe. Let me get my stuff ?” 

“I’ll help” 

Matt walked into your room and helped you gather your things before heading back to the suv and driving you to his place. “Babe!” Matt called as he walked into the house, “Shh the kids just went down for a nap, they were playing outside all day” Kristy told him, giving him a hug. 

“Is the case over already ?” she asked him, he shook his head. 

“No, just had to bring our guest over” 

Right on cue, you walked in with your bags. “Hey pretty lady!” you pulled Kristy into a hug, “Hey you!” she hugged you back, well as best as she could considering she had a huge bump right now. “Ready to pop yet ?” you laughed with your hand on her belly. “Just about, I told him no more after this one” she gave Matt a look and he just shrugged. 

“I can’t help it, you’re just so-” Matt started but you cut him off

“Gross, gross, gross, gross, gross, I don’t wanna hear that” 

Matt and Kristy laughed at your comment, Matt headed back out to work while you helped Kristy make dinner for your little rug rats.

--- 

Luke sat in the conference room when Matt came back. “Hey man, where’s your sister?” he glanced at Matt, “she’s at my place with Kristy and the kids” he told him. Luke let out an ‘oh’ that sounded rather sad. 

“You okay man ?” 

“Oh yeah, I'm fine” 

“Then what’s with the sad look on your face ?” 

Matt sat across from Luke waiting for his answer. Luke contemplated if he could tell Matt what was really on his mind or if he should make up something. Would he be mad if I liked her ? The voice rang through his head over and over again.  “She’s her own person. Matt doesn’t control her Luke.” Tara’s words came back to him. He should just tell him how he feels, he doesn't want to lie to him. 

“Is your sister seeing anyone ?” Luke blurts out much more awkwardly than he’d expected, Matt gave him a weird look. 

“I don't think so, why do you ask ?” Matt looked over at him 

“Oh just cause the case, gotta cover all the bases” Luke lied 

“Are you sure that’s the reason you’re asking me about her ?” 

Did Matt know ? No, he couldn't know. He played it cool. Oh what was he thinking? Tara figured it out, Luke’s sure Matt did too. 

“What do you mean ?” Luke avoids Matt’s stare, instead he busies himself with the papers scattered across the table. 

“You know exactly what I mean Luke.” Luke’s eyes met Matt’s, Luke knew that Matt knew and he couldn't bullshit his way out of this one. “Come on” Matt stood up, Luke mirrored his actions. “Where are we going ?” 

“Just come with me” 

The two men walked out of the station and got into the car. They were now 15 minutes into their ride and Matt has yet to tell Luke where they're going. Luke looks over at him, “I know you like her” Matt says quietly. “I do” Luke replies. 

The rest of the drive is silent, Matt pulls into his driveway. 

“Tell her” was all Matt said to him

“Tell her what?” 

“Tell her you like her, you both deserve happiness. I trust her judgement, she always did know what was good for her and you, I trust you with my life man, I can trust you with her” Matt told him before getting out of the car. Luke stayed in the car for a few minutes gathering his thoughts before headed into the house. 

“Hey” he smiled at Kristy who was in the living room, she looked over her shoulder and smiled at him. 

“Hey Luke, how are you ?” 

“I’m good, how are you ?” 

“Very pregnant” she laughed, Luke chuckled making his way over to her and gave her a hug. Kristy knew why he was there, Matt wasn’t the only one with profiling skills in the house. 

“She’s in the backyard” Kristy gave Luke’s hand a squeeze, Luke had an amused look on his face as if Kristy wasn't supposed to know about his crush on y/n. Luke whispered a thank you to her before heading to the backyard. 

You sat on the swing hanging from the tree, you had been there when Matt put it up. Kristy had a vision of a swing from her tree and Matt being the husband he is, made her vision a reality. The sound of footsteps filled your ears, too heavy to be Kristy or the kids and too light to be Matt’s, you look up to see Luke standing in front of you. 

“Hey there agent, here to arrest me ?” you stick your hands out in front of you, the blush you saw this morning was back. “Kidding Luke, what’s up ?” you asked him, he leaned against the tree watching you swing back and forth. 

“Just wanted to see how you were doing after this afternoon” 

“Oh the parking lot thing ? I'm fine, are you okay ?” 

“I’m good too” 

Silence filled the air, you swung back and forth on the swing while your feet dangled above the ground. Luke stood in front of you, his hands on the rope stopping you from swinging again. You looked up at the man who was looking down at you. 

“I came here to tell you something” Luke says.

“I’m listening” you look at him.

“I like you” he admits.

“That’s cool, I like you too” you reply casually.

Luke gives you a look, only then did you realize that he meant he liked you, as in he was attracted to you and not he likes you as a friend. “Oh you like like me?” you said making Luke chuckle, “yes y/n, I like like you” he admitted to you. 

This whole scene made you feel rather childish in some ways. Your older brother’s friend was towering over you while you sat on a swing like a child and he admitted he had feelings for you, especially after you asked if he “like likes’ you. 

“Well for your information, I don’t like you” you said rather bluntly. Luke’s smile dropped from his face. “Oh okay” he turned on his heels and made his way to the fence, you sat on the swing and realized he wasn't coming back towards you. 

“Luke!” you shouted as you ran after him, meeting on the front lawn, he stopped and looked at you. “I was only kidding” your hands cupped his face, “I do like you, a lot.” you admitted. 

“Do you like like me though y/n?” he asked seriously. 

“Yes Luke, I like like you” you rolled your eyes playfully. 

Luke pulled you closer to him by your waist as he leaned down towards you. You were on your tiptoes, his hands on your hips to hold you before you toppled over. Luke’s lips met yours right as the sprinklers on the front lawn turned on. 

The two of you stood on the lawn, the sprinklers soaking your clothes without a care in the world.

All you could think about was Luke. 

----

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