#and I'm ashamed of none of it
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H- Hanging By a Moment; Lifehouse
A- Ain’t a Train; Cody Jinks
O- Ocean Avenue; Yellowcard
L- Last Dollar (Fly Away); Tim McGraw
T- Take a Backroad; Rodeny Atkins
H- Hell on Heels; Pistol Annies
E- Easy; Rascal Flatts
N- Neon Moon; Kacey Musgrave
T- Thomas O’Maley Cat; Artistocats
H- Heaven; Kane Brown
E- Ex To See; Sam Hunt
H- Hypnotize the Moon; Clay Walker
O- One Way Ticket; LeAnn Rimes
R- Race is On; Sawyer Brown
N- Night Moves; Bob Seger
S- Shut Up and Drive; Rihanna
Rules: Spell your URL with song titles and tag as many people as the letters.
thanks for tagging me @gingerpeachtea
K arma by Taylor Swift
A Perfectly Good Heart by Taylor Swift
T elephone by Lady Gaga (and Beyoncé)
T eam by Lorde
A marula Tree by Amanda Jenssen
N ever Really Over by Katy Perry
G ood Choices by Astrid S
E mails i cant send by Sabrina Carpenter
L ast Kiss by Taylor Swift
N ever Gonna Not Dance Again by P!nk
tagging y’all @readlovelikeme @marisatomay @nerdyfangirlingbooks @alghulnyssa @black-nebula13 @araku-validrava @hjartasalt @prismfemme @acediscowlng @vaspider
#tag game#songs#yes my taste in music is head scratching#and I'm ashamed of none of it#@aspenii#@wixabear#@bibliophile-dendrophile#@hopeful-hufflepuff-peeves#@firespiritsflametoungue#@astridcookie#@shipsgaysfordays
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why are trump supporters all Like That
#i can't even say it's all republicans atp because it's NOT it's like specifically his weird ass cult followers#and almost all the women look the exact same too white middle aged blonde wears either tons of makeup or none and pink camouflage#when i say Like That i mean not even just the republican part of it i mean the fact that they are so dead set on being right#all the time no matter what and can't accept ever being wrong#and they are so defensive about this country like omfg why can you criticize every other country#but the SECOND someone criticizes the usa they're evil#like do y'all hear yourselves? oh my god???#“but we're the greatest country in the world” EVERY PATRIOT IN EVERY COUNTRY THINKS THAT THEIR COUNTRY IS THE BEST IN THE WORLD#anyway#i am unable to vote due to my living situation but i am begging you to vote blue if you are able 💙#vote blue#harris walz 2024#kamala harris#tim walz#if you like that orange fuck and you bring yourself into my replies i'm not even going to engage in a debate with you you're getting blocked#also why are they so obsessed with white pride... they're like “because people are taught to feel ashamed for being white” nnnooooo???#when did that happen#i'm white i don't feel ashamed for being white and i don't feel proud of being white i feel like i'm just a person? who exists???#like everyone else????
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sometimes I remember the fact that at the ripe age of 9, I felt ashamed for watching and loving Lego Ninjago, bc I felt like I was "too old" for the show, and it was targeted for a "younger audience". (this went for most of my in general) and how Older Me would look back and cringe at the fact I enjoyed these "children shows/ things".
And now, as an Adult, I see how absolutely ridiculous that sentiment was. And to this day I still enjoy "children shows/ things" (LMK, TOH, mythology, dinosaurs, etc.,).
Like no- now all i want to do is look back and whisper "you will still enjoy these things in the future, and you will even create so much art of the things you find interesting. You will go to college for some of these things. Enjoying harmless things isn't childish."
#i wish i could go back and tell younger me that i was literally the target audience for the shows i was ashamed for watching#and literal /adults/ made the media. they spent so much time and energy and thought into these things#adults still look at the stars and wonder what life could look like on other planets#they still wonder what dinos looked and acted like#/i/ still wonder these things#its almost like its human nature to pour your heart and soul into the things that you deeply enjoy#its almost like we're on a floating rock and food grows out of the ground#and the thing that living organisms need most of all to survive falls out of the sky after being gently scooped from the ocean and flora#none of this makes sense and one day out time here will end. so endulge in the things that you enjoy#because yea in the long run none of this will matter- but that's the beauty of it. isn't it?#in this essay i will-#hey guys. im Spoofy and tonight? I'm feeling emotions. specifially the weight of my own existence#spoofy rambles
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The love people show for the pink-haired BDSM vampire lady is proof that Isaac could’ve gotten fans who love him with his og design. Or maybe the world is still too homophobic for that.
Literally enrages me. And I'm someone who discovered Isaac first on NFCV and went "ew he's ugly wtf" when I first saw how he looked in the games. It didn't take me too long to actually take a liking to the design and realize how much more compelling it was thant N!Isaac though :) (no one would be shitting on G!Isaac as much as they are now if there wasn't N!Isaac to compare him to. there would still be people, but less)
I mean at least Isaac's design have a sense. There is meaning behind his tattoos, his half-covered face, his clothes (and the lack thereof) all up to his sharp nails. N!Isaac has nothing, even his Devil Forgemaster UNIFORM is a downgrade and lose the sense it was supposed to have by not even having the Devil Forgemaster's crest on it to begin with. (I saw someone say that he looked "mysterious" because of his tattoos and no. No he doesn't. It's a few dots and two lines. It's the laziest tattoos, G!Isaac has the Devil Forgemaster crest embedded in his skin and his tattoos actually have forms and complexity you can try to interpret. what is there to interpret in N!Isaac's dots and lines?? MORSE CODE?? IT MEANS "MEIIIE" JUST SO YOU KNOW)
So it's already insulting that they changed his design because "bohoo he too slutty and BDSM-y he wouldn't fit" (even though you just had to give him clothes or smth), but it's even worse now that they literally took a HUMAN OLD LADY character (that could have been fun to have fight, to change from all the young-looking people) and turn her not only into a VAMPIRE, but a vampire with PINK HAIR, PINK EYES, AND A BDSM OUTFIT. And why? Because it's hot I guess. :) There's no other reason. I mean I'll give NFCV the benefit of the doubt and say that maybe they'll give an explanation in-universe as to why she is the way she is (just like it was explained in-universe what happened to Isaac to make him look and act the way he does. But no N!Isaac fans care about that since they couldn't keep shitting on G!Isaac otherwise). But yeah, I don't have much hope. NFCV was never smart enough to have characterization as deep and complex as the games could have. In the best way I could describe it... it's literally so american. It REEKS of america and it's culture and it's own view on things such as religion and gender and sex and politics. Friendly reminder that CV is originally a japanese franchise. So ofc the non-japanese creators had to force their own culture on it (consciously or not).
But honestly it looks borderline sexist to me. NFCV forced a male character to conform to the american standard of masculinity, and sexualized and slutiffied a female character that did not have any sexy trait before (since it wasn't the point of her character). And thus for no apparent reason. And people are literally applauding them... what the fuck.
#NFCV literally have no originality. none. everything it gets applauded for the games or other medias did first and better.#i have yet to see ANY important female character in their show that is not a young/good-looking girlboss#even MARIA IS NO EXCEPTION.#SHE'S A SWEET LITTLE ANGEL WHO WANTS TO KICK THE BAD GUYS' ASSES#SHE HAS SUCH A CHILD-LIKE VIEW OF THE HORRIFIC WORLD SHE LIVES IN AND THAT'S WHAT MAKES HER SO LOVABLE#SHE IS SO OPTIMISTIC AND HEROIC AND NOT AS NAIVE AS SHE MIGHT LOOK BECAUSE SHE CAN STILL TELL WHEN THERE IS DANGER#SHE'S THE GIRL WHO WAS LIKE 'I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT I'M A CHILD' WHEN DRACULA TRIED TO DEBATE ABOUT GOOD AND EVIL WITH HER#AND THEN NFCV COMES AROUND AND MAKE HER CALL RICHTER A “WANKER”#i hate this show so much and I am so ashamed of the fact i ever liked it#nnnnngh ANYWAY............#i could go on and on about how much I despise the OG NFCV and everything i've seen of Nocturne this far#but I have to go to work. smh.#anti netflixvania
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So you know those people who make sad and/or snarky comments about their exes? Like "I don't need them, I'm so much happier now anyway" and "I miss them so much they meant so much to me" type of things
I have to focus so hsrd to not say stuff like that about Sherlock & Co. sometimes 😭😭😭
#Like I. Miss it so so much#And I wanna listen so bad#But it would never be the same I just couldn't#And it's like when u've been in a bad relationship without realizing#And then you get out and you notice all the little things?#I can't help but think abt all the ways this show has been ableist and racist since the start#And I'm like looking at myself after all this#I don't go anxiously thinking I'm misogynistic anymore bc now I'm actually engaging with content that isn't ashamed to put women in the#spotlight OFTEN#And I feel a lot better in general because I don't have any servers to anxiously check in on anymore#I can have a conversation now without having to fear ppl using words like “delulu” or whatever#Like I only hear “delusional” used incorrectly from youtubers rn#Which is so nice. I can be actually delusional in peace#And I'm not around white people who use AAVE like it's a competitive sport anymore 😭#I'm listening to a podcast that actually cares about it's viewers#Like I don't have to mentally prepare for the awful sounds#BECAUSE THERE ARE NONE#Like sorry not sorry but you don't need to give me 1000 headaches to portray that there was an explosion#Joel “I care about my autistic listeners” Emery and his team adding the most obnoxious beeps ever as often as possible#Joel “I care about my listeners” Emery and the lackluster fucking content warnings#You can warn me about the word “bugger” but not about graphic descriptions of animal harm?#Joel “I care about my autistic listeners” Emery telling his character to mask (it's ok though bc the character was being rude)#God forbid someone's disability makes them inconsiderate sometimes?#No but it's okay because “they talked about it” off screen#or. Off recording?#Whatevr
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Okay with the awful cat poll, OP finally made a better apology but honestly I'm not fully on board with it. She still calls what she's done a "joke" even now which it absolutely isn't one. What she said about Jellie is still undeniably cruel and not even humorous in a dark comedy way. How is calling a dead cat lame and even being angry that the cat dared to die before your poll went up a joke? The only joke I could tell is a joke is her saying "I don't believe in democracy anymore because Nefarious Anglerfish is losing to Jellie" but even then, she didn't had to call Jellie lame and especially she didn't need to complain about how "the stupid cat had to die go and DIE" to make a joke. That was just done to be extra cruel, and again, if that's something that she genuinely finds funny then she really needs to reevaluate her sense of humor.
Besides this, she had chosen not to be specific about the cruel and tasteless "joke" that she has made about Jellie because she doesn't want to hurt more people over it which I'm still a little unconvinced by since I feel like it would be better to be clear about what had happened and apologize for the direct statements instead of just trying to delete and move on but either way it's better than her initial response to the matter. She could still had deleted the post, I just think she needed to be specific in her apology about what had been said.
With that being said, people had been nasty towards OP even sending death threats and harassment and although OP's actions should be criticized, going this far is unacceptable. You're not defending Jellie's honor by sending a random rude stranger hatred and death threats. In fact, it's absolutely vile to do anything like that at all.
Either way, I'll be posting both the original "joke" and her apology screenshots here and let people just come to their own conclusions. Hopefully this thing would just calm down after everything.
Original joke
OP's apology
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Again, anyone who had sent hate and death threats or is planning to send hate or death threats to OP are horrible people and I do not trust you nor do I think you actually care about Jellie. You're just being a dick and found an excuse to harm an easy target when you finally have a justification. You make me sick.
#mayaposts#discourse#the awful cat poll#genuinely none of this would've happened if op didn't just make those cruel statements but this is a better apology than the last#the post already has 10k+ notes though so i don't know if it's really gonna help but honestly i was expecting op to just dip and never post#again so this is more commendable to actually make a statement about this#i'm still not fully on board with it and i'm still angry but either way that's all op could do at this point#anyone who has ever sent hate or death threats to op directly in her inbox are horrible and you should be ashamed of yourself#i understand wanting to defend jellie but jellie doesn't need you telling people to kill themselves or sending hate to random strangers
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Happy Birthday to my A1 from day 1. My goofy Aquarius bestie. Might be the best of all my boys. Idgaf I love you with all my heart, I can't help it, you might be my favourite. Talented as fuck, one of the most expressive faces on the planet. Your smile is insane. Always just happy to be there, you literally look better every time I see you. Your tongue is allergic to staying in your mouth. You always wanna say something or sing something. Strongest face card of all my clients. Kinda guy who drives 30 minutes for a hug. Genuinely couldn't ask for more out of a fave. If you being virtually incapable of not manspreading is all I have to put up with I'll take it. Never change.
#scribblesbyc#I'm not ashamed of it he's the only man I'll ever love#none of my other boys listen to me the way he does (yes I'm still talking about the outfit you would too foh)#I'm his shooter I'm his ride or die I'm never leaving him EVER#ct#he ain't done nothing wrong to nobody and stanning him us just so easy which is RARE these days#callum turner
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^÷^
#am i excited? yes#but am I still not fully myself mentally? also yes#at first I thought it was because of PMS or my period#but it's over and I'm still feeling the same#and crying out of nowhere#see to cry in front of anyone except for my parents is VERY scary to me#i'm serious#even my cousins or those that I consider friends#I think none of my current friends had seen me cry and I am a sensitive little shit#i know it's stupid and as a teen I was very ok with this#but as I entered my twenties I became more and more self conscious about it#I WISH that one day i'll learn how to not feel ashamed of it#personal
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girl leave me alone I've made up my mind I don't want to talk to u abt it anymore. and maybe I'm just paranoid but get off my tumblr lol ur not gonna get anywhere helpful/productive by reading any of this
#u cannnoooot be using shit i post on here as a litmus test for how i feel. i cant trust u if u dont respect my privacy 👍#if I'm choosing not to communicate directly or honestly w u then its not ur fault + none of ur business. ur fine now go away#mutuals this isnt abt u dw#.diaries#ugh whatever i need to put the dryer on + food shop#just another case of only caring abt how I feel if u think ur responsible for it. thanks#i wasnt angry when i replied but now im thinking abt it again and im getting pissed off again lmao#literally doesnt matter to her anyway in 6 months time she'll remember i was there even tho i wasnt i have zero impact in her life#dont wanna make another post abt it bc im ashamed for letting it get to me so much. so just adding to tags here
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This is yet another night plagued by the Secret Thing, where I am not sad or normal or really mad for no reason, I am instead constantly going "I mean..... Would WHAT THE FUCK??" because I am repeatedly flabbergasted by the fact that someone threw dirt in my non-existent filter
#Get it. Do. Do you get it. Dirty#I'm going to disappear for the next three hours into the land of no browsing history. Goodbye. I will be ashamed in the morning#I talk in a way that sounds like I'm Not Ordinary and have a Mental Thing#Really I just put the four different moods I have into different things and call them “Weird Vee” or “Wannabe Randy Jade”#Also the voice in my head is different for each mood. I've named them.#Guy#Stupid Guy#The One Who Is Sane#And Scheming Guy#None of them like each other. At all.
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i am sooo undeserving of my life!!!!!!! anyways
#noia.txt#legit want to curl up in a ball and cry and be forgotten by everyone and never have to be alive again ever#crazy to think of all the opportunities i have that i sistematically waste. all the privilege and nothing to show for it#i'm so ashamed of who i am and so tired of having to perform being someone better#so many things to do so many choices and none of it makes sense whatsoever
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For some inexplicable reason I have the urge to revise my math books and notes and do calculus
#my high school math teacher would be so proud#hope she's doing alright#but I'm way too ashamed to visit any of my old teachers they'd be so disappointed that I've achieved none#of what they'd thought I would
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Bakugou Katsuki
♡ TW: omegaverse, size difference, somewhat subjugating omega politics, old-fashioned high-class politics of sorts
♡ GN reader
Bakugou doesn't tell people about his home life, so you can imagine the Bakusquad’s utter surprise when they invite themselves over only to find out he has a little omega housewife waiting for him.
“Oh, hello,” you say when the four additional Alphas pour in through the door after your Katsuki.
They all look at you unblinking. The biggest one, a redhead, doesn’t seem all that surprised—as though he’d had some suspicion that’s now been laid to rest. But the other three, an electric blond, a guy with raven hair, plus a woman with cotton candy curls, look at you as if they’d just stumbled upon a mouse in a lion's den—all slightly horrified at the sight of you.
Your alpha, the tightly wound grump seething with annoyance, stomps over to you and plants a quick kiss on your hairline. “They just barged in,” he grumbles under his breath. “Sorry if we scared you.”
You hum calmly in turn, “That’s okay. I heard you yelling in the driveway, so I wasn’t surprised.”
The four members of the Bakusquad are all gobsmacked at the domestic sight—the boss, their boss, their hard-headed macho boss, bending over and apologizing to this little omega half his size.
“Are you hungry?” you ask, peaking over the breadth of his hunched shoulders to the others with a warm smile on your pretty face. “I just finished dinner.”
“No,” Katsuki growls grumpily and winds his arms around you—like an old, tired dog, voice gruff, “Uninvited intruders don’t get my dinner.”
You only giggle it off, brushing his stubble with a soft hand, gently handling him further down to your level so you could place a kiss on his other cheek. “Oh, stop, Katsuki. Be nice to your friends.”
Then you walk off to the kitchen.
Calling out sweetly over your shoulder, “I went a little overboard, so there’s more than enough for everyone.”
And by god, if they don't fall in love with you right then before they’ve even got a single word out.
But love at first sight isn't all so strange. None of them have ever seen an Omega outside of on film—much less been hit with the scent of one. They're all bewitched and confused at the feeling as they trail after you as if they've been compelled by some higher power.
"Please sit," you smile, gesturing to the long table where only two seats have been made. "Katsuki, hon, help me, please"
They all scoot into each their unplaced seat while your big lousy Alpha begrudgingly helps set the table for the unwanted dinner guests. They remain silent as you serve them like the perfect homemaker—all crimson-cheeked and ashamed at how they sniff after you as you pass them by.
You sit just as brightly despite the awkward tension. "Please, enjoy."
They all obey, eating in utter silence—every single one of them trying hard not to stare—and all failing miserably.
Kaminari's the first to speak, having been left shaken by curiosity he no longer could contain.
"So... did he kidnap you, or?"
It's a fair question to some extent. Omega's are a dime a dozen, all regulated strictly by protective institutions. You can't just find one to mate like in the old days. You need to apply for one and be vetted—not to mention they cost a fortune.
"Denki!" Kirishima whisper-shouts in admonishment, shaking his head from across the table.
"What? I'm I the only one who's thinking it?" he throws his hands up and defends.
Katsuki's fist strains around his fork, but you lay your mit atop his, and he calms down shortly.
“Don't worry, Mitsuki and Masaru made the arrangements and paid the dowry," you giggle, running your hand through your Alpha's ashen hair with fondness in your eyes. "I was a graduation present of sorts. They worried Katsuki wouldn't take care of himself once he started working and thought having a mate might help him with his busy day.”
If Katsuki appreciates you spilling his business like that, he doesn't say anything about it—just continues eating.
Denki sighs and sags in his chair. “I always knew Bakugou’s folks were loaded. How nice...”
Sero grins, “Your jealousy is showing.”
Denki pouts, “I’m not exactly tryna hide it.”
"Yeah..." Mina pipes up. "Can't deny I'm jealous, too."
Sero's grin falls as well with his confession, "Yeah, me neither, actually."
You keep smiling sympathetically, "Well, you're all welcome here—I don't mind the extra company."
"Really?" Denki lights up.
Mina and Sero, too—in awe and in unison, saying, "She's an angel."
"Get yer own," Katsuki grumbles. "Now shut up and finish your food. Then you're leavin'—all of you."
"Oh, come on, man," Denki whines. "Have a little pitty for your fellow Alphas."
"Let's stay respectful, guys," Krishima buds in lightheartedly. "Think about what you're asking."
Then, rethinking the conversation, the other three all realized how it had sounded, even though they hadn't meant it that way. And they all blush even darker than before.
And still, you just smile—alphas are all so cute.
Especially your hyper-protective one.
♡ prequel ♡ BAKUGOU KATSUKI masterlist ♡ BOKU NO HERO ACADEMIA masterlist
#yandere bakugo#yandere bakugo katsuki#yandere boku no hero academia#yandere bakugou#yandere katsuki#yandere katsuki bakugou#yandere bnha#yandere my hero academia#yandere mha#yandere bakugo x reader#yandere katsuki x reader#bakugou katsuki#bnha bakugo katsuki#bakugou x you#bakugou x reader#bnha bakugou#bakugou smut#bakugou x y/n#mha katsuki#katsuki bakugo headcanons#katsuki smut#katsuki bakugo x reader#yandere x reader#yandere#yandere x you#yandere imagines#yandere smut#yancore#yandere bakugou katsuki#yandere bakugou smut
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Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuaaaaaaaaaggggghh
#I'm genuinely unhappy#and I genuinely feel like I'm in a bad relationship#i know it's not true. not entirely.#this person is doing their best. they're actually trying.#but i need someone i can trust#and this person routinely lies to me about when they're having problems dealing with stuff#like. i get it#you're ashamed of how you started smoking. but you started smoking and you hid that from me#why?#also like. you messed up on your taxes back in 2016 and now the bill is 3k and you still havent paid it despite having the money???!!!#what the actual fuck??????????#they've done a lot of lovely things for me#they're the reason I'm not currently homeless or trapped in my shit hole hometown#but like. the problems are getting worse and not better -- how long until I *am* homeless anyway?#why won't they let me in? why won't they let me help?#I. I don't what to give up on this person but I don't think I can stay with this person my whole life if none of the core problems improve#if they aren't willing to put in the work and get better at handling their own shit
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Hi!! Just had to drop in and say I LOVED your Luke fic and I can’t wait for more. I would love protective Luke with hurt/comfort, if that sounds interesting at all. Thanks for sharing your writing!!! 🌸
fighting chance; luke castellan
wc + pairing: 4.2k, luke castellan x daughter of ares! reader
synopsis: when an enemy takes advantage of your kindness during capture the flag, luke intervenes with a sword in hand.
warnings: a creepy boy👎, threats/harm to reader, she’s going through it, blood/injuries (nothing major), angry ANGRY luke, violence, lots of fluff/reassurance at the end<3
notes: thank you SO much for your kind words & your request!! hurt/comfort is my bread and butter my favourite fic genre of all time i think. & protective luke is just a bonus bc he’s already crazy so it can go as far as i want🤭 i’m not exactly sure what this turned into but if i fix it any more i'm going to go insane so hope you like it!
You’re not much of a fighter.
That alone is a normal thing to admit—plenty of people don’t like violence, the frisson of a challenge, the bruises that come with them. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.
Unless you’re a child of Ares.
People at camp often ridicule your gentle nature when they see you with your half-siblings. They’re all gritted teeth and sharp edges, born warriors that take up all the space they can get. You, on the other hand, are lousy with weapons and even lousier with your fists. You’re quiet, attentive. While your siblings charge into battle without second thought you stay back, flitting around to adjust armour, change out weapons, oversee the terrain. Planning isn’t Ares’ style so you’re pretty much useless but nobody wants to admit it. You’re usually mistaken as a child of Hephaestus or Athena.
Unfortunately, you are a child of Ares, through and through—just in none of the ways that matter.
There are rare times your father’s influence peeks through. Not with bursts of rage or fists flying, but with thoughts. And sometimes those thoughts turn into words. Well, not sometimes. One time. This one.
The evening before the camp’s Capture the Flag game, every cabin gathered around the bonfire past dinner. To burn offerings, to chat, or in Luke Castellan’s case, to admire.
He watches you laugh with Clarisse from a distance. The Ares cabin leader always had a certain fondness for you. When Luke first started dating you he had to ask Clarisse for her blessing beforehand just to be sure she wouldn’t kill him. He’d do it a million times over just for the moment you look back, your face warming when you catch his stare. He rolls his eyes at you to lessen his smile, but he’s not sure it works. You giggle and turn back to your friend.
He’s always loved your softness; your capacity to defend and not attack. Your body rejects any skill you could possibly develop for violence. Believe him, he’s tried to teach you sword fighting, but the last time he gave you a lesson you nearly impaled yourself thirty seconds in. He loves your wit and your tenderness, your proficiency at preventing conflict, your refusal to argue. But a selfish part of him loves the fact that he’s your protector even more.
The night wears on with the flickers of fire and friendly banter. One of the times Luke looks back at you, his brows wrinkle. There’s a guy talking to you. A group of them, actually, but there’s one clearly leading the pack. Some Aphrodite kid. Luke’s jaw twitches.
“Hey, princess,” the voice makes you pull away from your talk with Clarisse, but you’re confused. Luke is the only one that calls you that.
“Um, me?” You ask when you see the boy in front of you. He’s tall, chest puffed out. It’s not an endearing silhouette. “What’s up?”
“You wanna be on my team for Capture the Flag tomorrow?” He asks nonchalantly.
You laugh politely, “Sorry, but I don’t think we’re allied with Aphrodite tomorrow. That’s your cabin, isn’t it?” You feel bad that you can’t remember—his face is so … plain.
He chuckles back, but it’s a lot less nice. “No, doll, that’s not what I mean.” He steps a little too close, and even though you know Clarisse is behind you it feels like she’s a thousand miles away. “Well,” he drawls, a smirk drawn out, “you meet me in the forest after we start, and then we can … you know. Confer.”
“Confer?”
“Yeah. You get what I mean, pretty girl, don’t play dumb.”
A revulsion coats your gut. “I’d appreciate it if you didn’t call me that,” you say as firmly as you can.
“What, pretty or dumb? Why not both?”
It’s demeaning, the way he says it, and it stirs a temper in your stomach you know you inherited from your father. You’re not big on confrontation. Or embarrassment. But this weirdo is talking to you out in the open and people are starting to stare. He wouldn’t dish it out if he can’t take it, right?
“I’ll pass on your offer. I have a boyfriend and I’m actually on his team tomorrow, so I’d rather confer with him, sorry.” Your hands wring together but you do your best to quell them, imagining it’s the string of Luke’s camp necklace, threaded between your fingers. You try to look for him out of the corner of your eye.
He snickers, even though it’s common knowledge you and Luke have been together for months now. “So you are dumb, huh?” He tries to smirk and you assume is supposed to be sexy, but it’s just gross. His hand tries to slide around your waist.
“Don’t touch me, please,” you hit his hand away. Your skin is crawling and the knot inside you tightens.“Just leave me alone. People are looking, you know.”
“We could go somewhere where nobody looks,” he sneers, and the grin on his face is so sleazy that you just can’t stand it anymore.
You pray to your father for strength. And to yourself for forgiveness.
“I’m sorry, are you stupid or something? I told you, no.” You snap. “Maybe you’re the pretty dumb one, but for a child of Aphrodite it’s shocking how little the first one applies.”
His eyes are wide, and the posse he’d assembled behind him has attracted quite the view. You almost feel like crying, all these eyes on you, but you’re so sick of people thinking they can walk all over you just because you’re not like your siblings.
“What the fuck is wrong with you? I’m just trying to be nice—” He grabs your wrist as you leave but you yank it hard.
“Don’t. Touch me.” People are staring at you now, but the only one you care about is Luke, who looks equally ticked and equally proud, and all you want to do is kiss him. “Hope the only time we confer tomorrow is if somebody’s sword is at your throat.”
It’s the last thing you say to him. He starts to go after you but Luke is already at your heels. “Back off, man.” You can spot how all his muscles are already rearing themselves for a fight. You wrap a hand around his wrist, and he meets your eyes. Not now.
The altercation is lost the second the two of you leave the bonfire. Nothing matters when Luke has you in his arms, kissing you outside of your cabin, telling you how damn beautiful you looked.
You’re fixing a new Ares boy’s armour when Luke finds you. “Hey, angel,” he says, leaning down to press a kiss to your cheek. He relishes in the way your face heats up. “You ready for battle?”
You smile, “Always.” You pat the kid on the cheek and send him on his way. He gnashes his teeth and roars, joining his siblings at the front. Luke catches the longing in your expression.
“All good?” He asks gently.
It takes you a second for your eyes to meet his. “Mmhm,” you swallow. “Just hope his armour doesn’t fall off.”
Luke sighs for a moment, then wraps his arms around you. “He’ll be fine, sweetheart. Be safe, okay? Stay close.” He kisses your temple, rubbing circles on the nape of your neck.
“Yes sir,” you reply against his chest. His insides flutter.
He pulls your face up to his and kisses you, tender and wanting. “Let’s show these hooligans who’s boss,” he quips.
“You’ll show them. I’ll hide in the woods until some idiot comes along and tries to ambush you.”
Your dulcet tone has him wrapped around your finger, and you don’t even know it. “You’ve always got my back,” he croons, kissing your brow.
“And you’ve always got our flag.”
You kiss him again and he lets you slip out of his arms no matter how badly he wants to keep you there forever. He watches you vanish into the trees, and his heart goes with you.
He gears up with his team and the horn sounds. Game on.
There’s yelling, sweat, adrenaline, and Luke embraces it all like a man starved. This is his chance to be ruthless, to let all his untapped rage cycle through him. This is why he’s unstoppable. This is why he’s the best.
Clarisse is unusually cooperative today, but competent as always, and whenever someone’s weapon breaks or they lose their team she just barks at them to go find you. You, the smartest person in Ares, who can mend a weapon with nothing but blades of grass and determination. Luke is pretty sure your cabin would be lost without you. He wonders if you know.
The groove of the game has fully enthralled him. He’s alert, his wrist nimble, his sword a living, breathing part of him. There’s almost nothing that can take him out of his victory path until he hears one of the younger campers tell Clarisse he can’t find you anymore.
Whatever nincompoop he’s dealing with is left groaning on the floor. “What?” He barks, hand flexing around his sword. “Where is she?”
“Probably just moved,” Clarisse grunts as she kicks back an opposing camper. “She knows where everything is. Maybe she’s—oof—safer.”
“But how am I supposed to fix my spear?” The kid frowns.
Luke runs his tongue along the roof of his mouth, dry and laden with salt. He told you to stay close. Where would you go? “I’ll find her,” he decides, already sheathing his sword to walk towards the trees.
“Luke—”
“I’ll find her!”
He barely pays attention to the calamity going on around him. With a flick of his wrist he knows he can take out any person he wants. The second he gets to the trees, where the air is cooler, it’s startling how much quieter it is. No wonder this is your preferred hiding spot.
He thanks the quiet a thousand times over because if it had been any louder he wouldn’t have heard you scream.
It’s so short it’s almost indiscernible, but he knows it’s you based on how his body movies before his brain does. It snaps something in him, the adrenaline transformed into something acerbic, determined.
“Don’t fucking scream again.” A cluster of boys are stationed around you. You’re leaning back in the dirt. You barely feel the earth sticking to your skin. Just your heart jostling madly, your fingertips shaking in the ground beside you. “Okay, I won’t, just put the sword down—”
The snarling Aphrodite boy from last night takes a swing at you, and you scramble back just enough to avoid it. “No can do, doll.” His face is twisted with rage. The lackeys he had when you told him off are there too, cornering you against a cluster of trees like you’re some caged animal. There’s a dagger clenched in one of your dirt-ridden fists but you know it won’t do you any good. You can’t fight; you don’t have it in you. But these boys do. And they’re angry.
“Tell me where the flag is,” he orders. The tip of his blade comes under your chin, fogging up with the labours of your breath, your head pressed against the trunk of a tree.
You stutter, “You’re not—You’re not supposed to threaten like this—”
“You embarrassed me in front of all those people yesterday,” he cuts you off. “Thinking you’re so fucking smart. I didn’t even say anything that big a deal but you run your mouth to the entire camp and make me look like the idiot. I thought you were nice.”
The words are laced with poison. You know from the wild look in his eyes that this isn’t about the flag at all.
Tears sting your eyes and the sword grazes your throat. Of course this is happening to you. The one time you feel your father’s rage, when you exemplify the thing you’re told to be, you are punished.
You are never going to be the right kind of daughter.
“I didn’t mean to hurt you,” you try to say it evenly, but your breath is so ragged it’s barely audible. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said all that.” You mean it, but they won’t care.
The boy’s face looks pleased at your tears. It makes you inexorably ashamed. “Some fucking Ares kid,” he snorts. “Can’t even fight, can you? Can’t even pretend to.” His sword leaves your throat and travels up to your quivering jaw. You’re wordless, white-knuckling the dagger at your side, praying that Luke is somewhere nearby.
“No wonder they stash you back here. You’re useless.” His eyes scan every part of you, and the idea of him knowing what you look like forever is so revolting it makes you want to vanish. “Too bad you’re alone, though. Nobody’s gonna know I was here because nobody’s gonna hear you.”
Your eyes get wide, and something in your mind rumbles through you like an engine. An urge buried in your blood.
Your dagger tears into his leg just as his sword dashes your arm. The pain is sharp, stinging, but the boy winces and you know you hurt him too. It gives you just enough time to roll out of the way as he lurches forward. “The fuck is wrong with you?” He swears.
Blood drips onto your shorts, splotched with tears. You know you can’t go anywhere because his friends are here and you’re almost certain you’ll be maimed, but you tried. At least you tried.
The Aphrodite boy picks his sword back up, stalks towards you, and then freezes.
Because Luke has just spotted you. And he’s spotted the boy that has you on the ground.
And he’s the best fucking swordsman Camp Half-Blood has seen in three hundred years.
“If you don’t get away from her right now I’m putting this through your skull.” He emerges from the foliage, his sword raised, sweat dripping down his face. You have never seen anyone look angrier. He has never felt angrier.
The boy blanches, and Luke sees how easily his lapdog friends shrink in his presence. Good.
“Woah, easy,” the boy holds his hands up in mock surrender and tries to flash a smile but it’s just fucking pathetic. His arms are shaking and his throat bobs about a million times. “We’re just playing the game.”
“Like hell you are,” Luke spits. “You gang up on my girlfriend and you expect me to believe this is fair play? Want me to tie you all together and push one of you off a cliff to keep the spirit going?”
“Didn’t know she was yours,” the boy tries to shrug but again, it’s a miserable attempt that only makes Luke feel stronger.
“Not that it matters but yes, you do,” Luke chuckles thickly. “I beat your ass in sword training last week. You know exactly who I am. And I’m sure you know who you are, so it’s obvious you’re playing out of your league here.”
Out of the corner of his eye he sees you still cowering, blood dribbling down your arm. He wants to tear the world apart. “Apologize and maybe I don’t send you to the infirmary.”
“We just want the flag, man,” the boy swallows.
“And I want your head on a stick. Want to see who gets what first?”
It’s too provocative an insult for a moron like this to ignore, so soon Luke has the pleasure of disarming five bitter boys that have clearly never been good at a single thing in their life. He tears through them like sheets of paper, knocking them to the dirt, ripping their clothes. He thinks of you, just you, your honest heart and patient hands, and it’s enough to fuel him for a millennia.
The last boy, the leader, is at Luke’s mercy, and he has none to give. The flat of Luke’s blade is pressed horizontally against the boy’s neck, an angering similarity to the position he had you in earlier. “If you ever do this again, I’m going to kill you.”
“You’re—fucking—crazy—” The boy wheezes, the length of the blade squeezing his throat against a tree trunk. “I’ll—I‘ll tell Chiron.”
Luke has to bite the inside of his cheek to keep him from doing something he regrets. “Oh yeah? You want me to tell Chiron how you harassed and terrorised a girl in the middle of the forest all in the name of play? Want me to tell him what you said to her last night at the campfire? Because I’m sure it won’t take much for him to get rid of your ugly face as it is, and I’m a camp counsellor.”
He knows it’s not the most morally correct use of his title. He knows he might be stepping over the line. But he also knows you’re always being ignored or trampled over and he’s tired of pretending like he doesn’t give a damn. He’s tired of people trying to force you into something you’re not. Of you crying in his bed at night because they’re trying to drag a violence out of you that isn’t there. Always in the name of fucking play.
Luke takes the sword off the boy’s neck and shoves him backwards. His calf is bleeding, not a deep wound, but a wound nonetheless, and Luke is full of pride when he realizes you did that. The boy’s bad leg makes him wobble and fall at the force of the push. Luke enjoys watching the scramble. “I—I was just trying to be nice, it’s not my fault she took it the wrong way!” The boy flails his hands in the air, rising to his feet again, and Luke shoves him down twice as hard. A piece of his shirt tears off in Luke’s hand.
“You’ve gotta stop talking or I really am going to kill you,” he seethes. “Don’t touch her ever again. Go.”
Luke is sure he looks homicidal right now because the guy finally tumbles his way down the hill. His body fades into the distance, swallowed up by shrubbery and sweat.
The second he’s gone Luke tosses his sword and armour and gets back to you. “Shit,” he mutters, kneeling down. You’re still shaking, your head in your arms, and all his hatred morphs into a love so desperate it terrifies him. “Angel, come here. Let me see.” He lifts your face with his hands and scans you rapidly. “Did he hurt you anywhere else? Anywhere?”
“Just my arm,” you whimper. “My arm.”
He knows it’s not the cut that’s hurting you; it’s long, but thin, and it’s not bleeding too thickly. He takes the cloth from the Aphrodite boy’s shirt and wraps it around your arm, knotting it at the end. “All right, that should be better.”
You look at him with watery eyes, and he knows all you need is for him to hold you. He folds you in his arms and leans against a stump. You can’t get close to him fast enough. The tip of your nose buries itself in his neck and he feels the dampness of your cheeks on his skin. “It’s okay, sweetheart, you’re safe,” he soothes, pressing a kiss to your hair. “I’m so sorry.”
Guilt swaths over him for a brief moment; he wonders if he shouldn’t have done all that, if he should’ve been more sensible. Then your lips form a ‘thank you’ against his skin and all is forgotten.
You feel so small. The shock is still running its course, so all you can do is cry it out. Your hands still shake when you thread your fingers through Luke’s necklace to steady them. He soothes you the best he can, running his hand along your spine, all the sharpness of his voice softened just for you. “You’re all right, angel. I’m not going anywhere.”
You stay like that for a while. The sounds of the forest return to you; leaves in the wind, birds chirping, Luke’s breath tickling your hair. You crane your head up to nuzzle your nose against the faint stubble of his jaw. “My hero,” you murmur, and feel his skin shift as he smiles.
“Couldn’t have done it without you. Saw the cut you gave him on his leg.” He kisses your temple. “I hope it gets infected.”
You giggle weakly no matter how you try smothering it in his chest. “Gods, you’re awful.”
“He deserves it! I probably should have killed him!”
“You came pretty close, didn’t you?” You mumble. Luke’s expression is wary, but you smile to yourself and it dispels everything. “I was hoping you’d come.”
“Good. Serves them right, messing with you like that. Fucking idiots.” He kisses your face again for good measure, “You sure they didn’t get you anywhere else, princess?”
You nod but you know you look wounded. You nudge into the crook of Luke’s neck again. “They … you know, it’s just … the usual stuff.” Every word weighs a pound as it comes out. Your heart feels sore.
Luke tenses again instantly. “What usual stuff?”
“Um, just—” The shame gets caught in your throat. “They all think I’m useless, Luke. Why can’t I do this right?”
You start to cry again, but he just holds you closer. Sometimes it surprises you how much patience he has. He prides himself as the harsher one between the two of you, but you don’t know who he’s fooling with the way he always knows how to comfort people.
“I don’t know what to do,” you continue, blinking back tears, “I’m not—I’m just not good at this, I don’t know why I’m in Ares, I don’t know why I can’t … be that. Why is he my father? I’m no good at being angry. I want to be angry.”
Luke’s quiet for a moment. Nothing changes except his hand rubbing circles on the nape of your neck again. Then he sighs deeply and says, “You don’t owe your father a damn thing. You don’t owe anyone anything.” He’s resolute, firm, a sharp contrast to his gentle kiss on your hairline. “You’re the smartest, most generous person I know. You need those people in battle. You’ll lose if you don’t.”
The warmth of his skin prompts you to look up at him. He looks different so often, the way he can shift between so tough and so gentle. Sometimes, like now, he’s caught in the middle, the remains of a furious sweat hardening his face, but his eyes are nothing but tender. You think it’s how you like him best.
“Besides, we’re not our parents, right? Who cares about Ares anyway?” Luke shrugs.
“Luke! Don’t say that!” your tears turn into a giggle. “The Gods might punish you!”
“I’ll handle it. There’s enough fight in me for the both of us.”
“Okay, tough guy,” you mutter with a weak smile.
You’re still sniffling. He runs his thumbs across your cheeks, and his gaze softens. “You’re an Ares kid because you are a fighter, angel. You just fight a hell of a lot smarter than the rest of us. Best one I know. Well, other than me.”
It makes you smile. “So second-best?”
“Tied for first.”
He kisses you with that stupid roguish smile. It’s salty with tears and sweat, but it mends your heart anyway. There is nowhere in the world you’d feel safer.
“I love you,” he says against your cheek. “Be as sweet as you want. If anyone has anything to say about it I’ll mess ‘em up good.” Your face warms as his voice drops to your ear, “And I know you’re an Ares kid because you’ll encourage it every time. You might not have a violent bone in your body, but you sure don’t have a problem with me using mine.”
“Diplomatically, Luke. Diplomatically.”
“Sure, sure. Whatever you want.”
You can’t help but kiss him again. You’re not entirely sure why he loves you so much, why you love him so much, but you never feel quite as secure as when you’re with him.
Cheers boom from the other side of camp. Luke’s head perks up like a dog, and you turn back to search for spots of red or blue. “Did we win?” You ask, craning your head to get a better view.
“Don’t care,” Luke says.
You look back at him. His anxious face says it all. “Yes, you do.”
“Okay yes, I do, and I need to see if those douches found our flag so I can choke them out with it.”
You laugh, standing so Luke can jog off to see the state of your team. But before he goes, he picks you up and smothers you in kisses, holding you like you’re his prize.
You are not a fighter, but your boyfriend sure is. And you’re perfectly okay with that.
#perrie’s fics#perrie’s requests#luke castellan#luke castellan x reader#pjo#pjo x reader#charlie bushnell#luke castellan comfort#luke castellan x you#luke castellan imagine#luke castellan fic#luke castellan fluff#percy jackon and the olympians#pjo fic#i kind of hate this i think I’M SORRY#but some parts of it are interesting so oh well#luke castellan you are fucking crazy.
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if more than one of these applies to you, pick the one you are most ashamed/proudest of
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