#and I'll tell you the episode and whether it's in the beginning middle or end of the ep

[thatgirl4815]

OF Favorites Rankings

I did this once before the series aired, but I thought it’d be fun to rank the core characters in OF in the middle of the series’ run and once more at the end.

I’m gonna tag some of my active OF moots here (and some new OF friends as well!) if any of you want to play too—no pressure at all! And of course, even if you aren’t tagged, please feel free to play along! I’m super curious to see how opinions have changed from the beginning to the middle to the end. :)

@abstractelysium @nihilisticcondensedmilk @just-gm @firstkanaphans @prapaiwife @dreamedofyou @sandrayy @fanfictionroxs @khaopybara @tiedankelstotheocean @thegalwhorants @autisticbokutoenthusiast @itsmelb @way-too-indecisive @k-white @waitmyturtles

1. Sand

Of course it was going to be Sand in first place (get it…First place?)

He might be morally dubious in Ep6, but if anything, that makes him more endearing to me (don't ask me how). If they all play dirty, he can play dirty too. Plus, he's just got the vibe. The t-shirts, the jackets, the boots, the independence. The superior music taste? Mans has it all except for money. Though tbh, the moment that solidified Sand as my favorite was when he ran after Ray at the end of Ep6--he was just dealt a personal attack by Ray in front of everyone, but he doesn't even hesitate to go after him. And that is the marker of a ✨ favorite character ✨

2. Ray

Naturally, both Sand and Ray have taken the top spots (pun intended), and it's because I have a special place in my heart for "woobified" characters (did I use that right @waitmyturtles? 😂)...and Khaotung executes his layers so beautifully. Ray did go in for a nonconsensual kiss (which he later apologized for, but I digress) and he did hash out some pretty brutal insults last episode. Irrespective of his feelings for Sand, it's indisputable that he has used him in some aspect to distract himself from Mew. So for all that, Ray is also morally dubious--but I'll use the term realistic instead.

I just want to give him a hug and tell him that he matters. Because clearly that is something he's heard only a few times in his life. And maybe if he heard it more often, we could avoid situations like the one at the end of Ep6.

3. Nick

I’m having a bit of an inner battle with myself over this one because Nick came out of the gate with some very immoral behavior, and yet I’m still putting him above Mew, because something about him is just so…pitiful. Admittedly, I've been growing more and more frustrated with him as the series goes on and he still fights for Boston's affection when Boston has proven time and time again that he just doesn't care. Boston keeps him on a rope, and in some ways I sympathize with Nick's struggles, because it isn't easy to turn the feelings off once they've already been cemented. But alas. He's digging himself further and further into this hole.

4. Mew

A lot of my gripes with Mew have been in respect to his treatment of Ray, but I go back and forth because I do understand the mental toll it must take on him. Regardless of whether or not he's responsible for helping Ray through his mental issues, as his closest friend, I think it should've been him running after Ray at the end of Ep6. Yeah, Ray said some shitty things about everybody, but Ray has only ever wanted what is best for Mew. And Mew was going to watch him run off and potentially get himself killed, even after Ray admitted what Top had done. Something about that just doesn't sit right with me.

Despite all of this, Mew does appear to be the most level-headed of the group (alongside Sand, though that was put to the test last ep). And the moment he played TopBoston’s sex audio right in Top’s ear? Phenomenal. He nailed that execution. I will laugh when he's on his revenge kick next week.

5. Cheum

Cheum is this low firstly because she doesn't get a lot of screen time, and secondly because she's made some comments that are a little questionable too. I can't remember who said it, but someone pointed out just how often she references how lucky Mew is to be with Top--which is a little strange, looking at him like he's some big prize. Also, not to bring everything back to Ray but...she contributes to the "burden" discussion quite a few times.

I do really enjoy the small snippets we've gotten of her with April. I like that they finally gave their relationship a little bit more context in Ep6. They do seem to have some pretty solid communication (at least compared to the others) so I'm pleased with that.

6. Top

I know a lot of people have felt sorry for Top. And I understand that completely. I struggle to given that he not only cheated but lied about the cheating--and likely would never have admitted to it. For Mew, someone who values communication and honesty so strongly, it's like a punch to the face. I hope Top gets what's coming to him. (Also, stealing Sand's boyfriend? Wtf dude.)

7. Boston

Not much to explain about this one--I can understand why he is some peoples' favorite for the sole reason that he is the one creating all the conflict in the first place. But he's so twisted, manipulative, and careless that I just want Mew to kick him into that pool a hundred times over. I don't expect him to rise from last place by the end, but if he does, it'll be a miracle.

[onewingedsparrow]

I never noticed this before but man, even right in the beginning of the Pilot episode of RiD, the faithfulness to Optimus that Bumblebee has shows itself so well.

No sooner does 'Bee register that his vision of Optimus Prime is telling him to go to Earth than he revs up and rolls out, just like that.

Strongarm has apprehended Sideswipe, and dealing with him ought to be 'Bee's top priority; but no, Optimus' command pulls rank, even though Bumblebee is the only one to hear the silent, wordless order.

Naturally, Strongarm calls out about sticking to protocol; but Bumblebee knows this directive from Optimus is urgent, so he doesn't even stop running. He simply calls back over his shoulder that he's gonna meet her at the station, and keeps right on booking it towards where Optimus told him to go.

And the scene could have ended right there, showcasing Bumblebee's dedication, and cutting to him entering the building where he finds the Space Bridge. But no, the scene takes it farther than merely that; it shows us that 'Bee runs across the street.

Doesn't even transform. Doesn't stop to think. Just runs right out into the open road, in the middle of busy traffic, dancing around collision after collision...and then almost gets hit by a truck.

And Bumblebee, a war veteran, and proven police officer, has this "deer in the headlights" moment where this big semi is coming right at him, high beams on—and he stares at it for a breathless, drawn out moment.

Bumblebee does not freeze in combat. This is not a moment of fear. If you watched TFP, if you know Bumblebee, you understand. instead, here, you can practically follow his train of thoughts even as they roll through his mind. This truck...honking at me...headlights so bright...is this another vision of Optimus, perhaps? No. Looks like it's not. Guess I'll keep moving.

This storyboarding of this show is so good. Bumblebee doesn't think twice about anything; he just knows that Optimus needs him—so he goes for it with everything he's got. Whether that's leaping at Skyquake despite being told to stay hidden, soaring over the Omega Lock with Star Saber in hand, or bolting across multiple lanes of oncoming traffic to get to the the building that Optimus pointed him to...Bumblebee will do it. No second thoughts. I really admire his character for that faithfulness to Optimus Prime...and it pleases me to no end that it displays itself so clearly even in Bumblebee's very first moments in this series.

[indigostarfire]

The Soulmate Label: Causing turmoil due to preconceived notions and creating expectations

In the beginning:

Patts relationship with Nara didn't work out. The cause? Soulmates. She wasn't his soulmate and this made her feel insecure and lonely so she broke up with him. Patterns were set: people choose to leave him, and whether Patts realized it or not, maybe being soulmates is what can make a relationship work.

When it rains Tai didn't talk to Patts for two years. Why? Because they are soulmates. His idealistic faith in soulmates having a lasting relationship fated by destiny was shattered by his parents' divorce. Being soulmates is no recipe for success so why bother starting any sort of relationship with a soulmate in the first place.

Patts and Tai are different sides of the same coin. Patts thinks soulmates may have a better chance at a lasting relationship. Tai thinks soulmates is no guarantee for anything, if anything it's a recipe for failure.

Like Tai, Lomfon feels that being soulmates isn't some grand "wow were fated to be in a relationship" type of thing. To him being soulmates is just a coincidence. End of story. Or so he thinks.

In the middle:

Tai is legitimately attracted to Patts and has to work through his prejudices about the viability of a soulmate relationship. So he is hesitant at first but slowly warms up to the idea. At the camp though his feelings are thrown into a massive crisis when he sees Patts and Nara kissing.

First off he knows that Nara was there to try to get back together with her ex, and Tai was certain she would succeed because of how deeply she seemed to know her ex. Secondly seeing them kiss, Tai is immediately confronted with his biased fears about soulmates--a soulmate relationship doesn't work and maybe that's true for him and Patts.

He runs off and with a desperate determination, sets off to Doi Mae Pliang mountain where he tells himself he will find the answer when he gets to the top. Tai struggles internally. His fall mirrors the chaos and confusion in his mind and heart and now he's physically in pain as well. It rains and instinctively he calls out to Patts who finds him because of their soulmate connection (maybe Tai realizes that's a plus).

Now with Patts at his side, being with him and tending to him, Tai reflects and searches for his answer. Tai tells Patt that he isn't angry about the kiss but the fact that Patts and Nara are inseparable. That is making Tai confused and doubting their relationship. "Are we a perfect match or did we just imagine that?"

Tai is wondering what makes love work, what makes it last? The soulmate connection doesn't guarantee success. And look at Nara; her devotion, sincerity, and love is obviously still there…still drawing her to Patts, still making it seem like they are inseparable. So maybe he just imagined their love, their connection was perfect. So who is Patts going to choose?

Tai finds his answer because of Patt's words AND actions. Patts says I'll still choose to love you even without all this soulmate stuff. And now thanks to a two-way communication exchange, Tai’s heart and mind has the understanding and confidence it needs because of Patts words AND actions. So in the morning when Patts asks will you be my boyfriend? Tai has his answer. Tai does NOT respond with any WORDS but just kisses Patts. "I'll take that as a yes," says Patts. Tai lets his actions speak for him. Tai is able to voice his fears and has effectively dealt with his inner turmoil and he found his answer with the help of Patts’ words and actions.

Episode 10, The Shitshow:

Lomfon. He is Tai's soulmate too. Well shit you can have your convictions and then all of a sudden your life can be turned upside down. Now suddenly Lomfon's previous convictions about soulmates is no longer ironclad. Obviously he is buying into this whole soulmate, "I'm fated to be with you" mindset because why else would he feel entitled enough to orchestrate a date with Tai to figure out how he feels. The key chain is fate, I'm your soulmate, therefore maybe you're the one I'm suppose to be in love with. Oh this soulmate issue has Lomfon's mind in massive confusion and turmoil. Who is he really in love with? Tai or Tien? Who has his heart?

Lomfon is Tai's soulmate. For Tai that doesn't matter. He is in love with Patts and they have built up enough loving experiences together that now Tai is finally ready to consummate their relationship. For the romantic, idealistic Tai, a man of very few words if at all, for someone whose actions speak louder than words, this is such a big deal.

Patts fell in love with Tai and then later finds out Tai is his soulmate. Wow, perfect! Maybe this relationship has a better chance at working out. Being soulmates is a big deal for Patts. Then the bomb drops and he finds out about Lomfon being soulmate #2. Now Patt feels threatened. Turmoil ensues. He no longer has that security of being the destined one, that fated, one-and-only soulmate. Two soulmates? Inconceivable, nevertheless Patts is visibly shaken and angry. Underneath the surface, just waiting to pounce and prey upon Patts, is his fear because now who's the better soulmate partner for Tai? Nara left him. Maybe Patts isn't good enough and Tai will leave him too.

The shitshow happens. The lies, the kiss with Lomfon, and Patts can no longer keep his fears at bay. He becomes unhinged. Tai is so distraught seeing Patts like this that he rails to the heavens and the soulmate bonds are broken. From here on out things will start getting interesting. Strip away the whole soulmate label and what is each person left with? The potential to see more of the truth.

Tai let's his actions speak for him; he decides to be Patts' boyfriend, he had sex with him--all of this is proof of Tai's choice. Nothing needs to be said. His actions are proof of his love. The problem is that Tai expects Patts to understand this about him. And maybe Patts could understand this if he was calm but Patts isn't calm. Tai tells him, "Do I have to choose? You have to know that I love you so much." But Patts can't comprehend what Tai is saying due to the lies and the fear and anger getting in the way.

I can understand Tai's wanting to wait and continue talking after Patt has calmed down. But when Patts shows up at his house, dude please for god's sake, what's so difficult for you say the words?! Pikachu, I choose you! (Sorry, I just couldn't help myself.) I was struck by Tai's obstinate and adamant refusal to say those three simple words. @fadelikeclouds does a great job of diving into Tai's mind and explaining Tai's and Patts' dynamics. This post helped me understand that Tai might be frustrated and hurt that Patts doesn't truly understand him. Maybe this hurt is huge because he feels Patts doesn't understand all the pain and turmoil he suffered in order to arrive at his decision to be his boyfriend. Maybe Tai feels that the significance of his actions is lost on Patts. But Tai, dude, talk about whatever it is that's hurting you, whatever the heck is preventing you from saying, I choose you. More light is shed on Tai's behavior in @lurkingshan's post.

And then there's Tien…dear god every scene he was in I got destroyed. My heart got ripped out and curb stomped. @heretherebedork and @bengiyo's Not All Gays are Great say it all in their posts. (Bengiyo's take on all the characters is so spot on and just a great read.)

Now without this soulmate issue clouding the picture, maybe Lomfon can have more clarity. Maybe Tai and Patts can work through their issues and clear up their misunderstandings. And maybe at the end of the day Tien can finally have someone in his corner who cares and loves him too because he is the only character whose heart is untouched by all the biases and preconceived notions that this soulmate label comes with. He just loves honestly with his whole heart.

[zaiban2989]

Hi...if you don't mind, can I ask something from BNHA? What do you think are Bakugou and Midoriya’s greatest personality strengths and weaknesses? Why? What do you love about their dynamic (as a romantic or platonic, is up to you)?

Hey there! Oh that's such a great question, thanks for asking me!

I'm going to break this down into a few different things here, it might be a bit long, I apologise lol

First of, let's talk without the bkdk-glasses about their dynamics. So I'll be talking about it while trying to stay objective and looking at it from a platonic POV.

When you start to read/watch BNHA, you see Izuku as this little middle school boy who dreams every moment of the day to become a hero while being bullied by his childhood friend, right? This already sets the tone for the rest of the series because you can already tell that both of them are going to be important protagonists in the storyline: Izuku obviously because he is the main character, but Katsuki could have been a side character or even a one-off - once Izuku enters UA - as "the boy who bullied the MC and gave him hardship about being quirkless but now MC is following is dream and overcoming all of this", yet Hori decided to put them both to the front there, with All Might, the sludge villain accident, the fact that Katsuki runs to Deku afterwards to "talk" to him, etc.

You only need like 2-3 chapters/episodes to know that those two and their weird/broken relationship are going to be present throughout the rest of the show. Hell, you actually need the first 30 seconds of the show to understand that Katsuki will become an important pivot to Izuku's story, really: the whole childhood flashback of Izuku protecting one of his friends against "Kacchan"? Hori didn't start with that for no reason. It doesn't just show the fact that Izuku has been bullied about being quirkless since he was 4yo, it shows that the bullying has been done by "Kacchan", which we then see again when they're in middle school. If Hori wanted it to be about the quirkless factor alone, he would have picked either a different 4yo kid to do the bullying, or he would have left Izuku's "Kacchan" to the background and use a different idiot to bully him in middle school.

Therefore, it's already established that Izuku & Katsuki's personal storylines are closely interlinked with one another from the get-go. Whether people want to see it as enemies, rivals, rivals to friends, or lovers, the fact remains that these two are going to share the show until the end lol (and the fact that Hori himself keeps on pushing them to the fro any chance he gets with not so subtle bkdk moments is just the icing on the cake for me tbh)

The dynamic they have is so powerful it actually drives the entire plot and by extension the other characters around them, which is probably what I love the most to be honest. Plot-wise, like I said, it's driven from the beginning with the childhood friends' flashback, then the middle school period with the bullying and Kacchan being an absolute dick telling Izuku to take a swine dive if he wants to be a hero, and then the very same Izuku SAVING him because he looked like he was asking for help? Just thinking about it gives me goosebumps lol In that sense, Katsuki is both the catalyst to Izuku feeling absolutely useless (Deku), forcing him on an everyday basis to face the fact that he can never become a hero because he is quirkless, and being the trigger to the same Deku to turn into an actual hero by saving his sorry suffocated ass to the sludge villain. The fact that we see Kat's POV of the tree bridge and the river scene with small Izuku trying to help him just increases the focus on how that's a personality trait of Izuku that Katsuki hates (at first) and cannot comprehend for a very long long time.

Yep, with that I'm jumping into Izu's characterisation! I think that this is his biggest strength (though extremely dangerous): he has the spirit of a natural hero, he wants to save anyone who needs help without a fault (especially Kacchan) and that's what makes him so endearing. We know he is quirkless, he literally cannot do anything than most other people can, i.e. use a quirk to help someone; yet he still fucking runs in flames, crying, to try and save his childhood friend. That's hard to not like when starting BNHA. But this also brings up his self-sacrificing tendencies to the front and that's why this also easily turns into his biggest weakness. It's like a double-edged sword, really. This trait of his gives him the potential of becoming a great hero but Izuku needs to learn restraints when it comes to trying to save people because he ends up most of the time injured and then incapable to save everyone (see Kacchan's kidnapping arc for instance, he saves Kouta and then is unable to save Katsuki. It's the perfect example).

On the other side, you have Katsuki. He is brash, aggressive, basically the whole bad-boy "Imma blast you to the ninth level of hell" kind of attitude from the start, the huge ego thinking he is better than anyone else (because he's basically been fed this since he's a kid). He's got a powerful quirk and knows it, he knows how to use it and has this perfect physical strength which makes him shine during the UA exam. He's born to "win". And I think it's this very "win (to save)" attitude that's his personality strength. Even when he is facing hurdles (being humiliated by Deku saving his ass during the sludge accident, Deku beating him during their first fight at UA, being kidnapped, etc.), he takes it all upon himself to overcome them. (Like a lot of people, I strongly believe he doesn't just overcome them in a few days like it's shown in the anime/manga, it's hard to fucking let go of those fucked up situations like being kidnapped so easily, regardless of how strong-willed you are, but well that's another topic entirely) The fact remains that Katsuki is depicted to be this badass person - yes, with a shitty personality - but he is smart, knows his own physical strength, never sits on his ass thinking he cannot become better, he just keeps on trying to improve and be the best, and like Izuku does, we can only admire him for this.

Now for his weakness, I think it's pretty obvious? He lacks what Izuku have naturally: the empathy to help and save people, which is detrimental to being the best hero. And he has to face this on a daily basis as soon as he enters UA. It's been nagging him from childhood with Izu being a sore eye to him because subconsciously he can feel what he is lacking in himself, and having to confront that in the form of a quirless kid who adores him and keeps following him around despite Katsuki pushing him away every chance he gets is absolutely enraging. Whether you're a 4yo or a 14yo kid, it's still something very difficult to comprehend on your own, IMO. So when you actually see Katsuki facing this head-on in UA, first with anger and frustration but slowly with quiet comprehension and then understanding, it's just amazing really. His character development in the series is by far my favourite. That boy has grown so much and worked upon improving himself physically but mostly mentally over the span of a year, it's absolutely incredible (or like Izuku would say, "Kacchan sugoi!")

So all in all, those two idiots have their very own individual traits (the good and the bad ones) which make them who they are, and I think any real bnha fans (regardless of whether they are bkdk stans or not) can admit that these two are important to each other and for the story itself to move ahead.

One last thing I'm going to add regarding the dynamics is the fact that despite the huge drift that has happened between them once Katsuki had his quirk and Izuku was labelled as quirkless, despite the distance between the two and the bullying and horrible relationship they had in middle school, as soon as they're in UA, you have them work seamlessly with one another (however reluctantly, at first) whenever they have to fight a common enemy (example which comes to mind: class 1-A having to fight All Might as a villain in the first ova and Katsuki understanding what needs to be done without being told what Deku's plan was to defeat the baddy, that's just gold).

Aaaand I think this post is already super long, so I will make another post and tag you (if you want) to talk more about this from my rotten-to-infinity bkdk POV 💚🧡

I could honestly go all day about these two boys, I hope this answer didn't disappoint you. If it's too messy, well, sorry 😅 and if you have other questions please send them!

Thanks anyone who read till the end, the honour is mine, truly.

[jolalibrary]

my writing process

@wildemaven asked a little about how i was writing nowhere to run, so thought it was time to properly break down the process i have [i know people have asked and I've given a short breakdown but here's a more in-depth one]

-> i always begin (for longer pieces) a 'skeleton outline' of what i want to achieve. so, sometimes it's snippets of dialogue that have come to me, and i basically flesh out the whole 'skeleton body' of the story. i don't know the number of chapters as i break them into scenes, and then stitch what i think i can achieve within a roundabout wordcount. for example, for NTR, i try to land around 5k a chapter, for previous, it's been larger.

-> the next thing i do is write the ending. i write this before the beginning to set the 'tone' of what i want to write. it gives me an aim, a direction to head in. it also means i can weave in on the skeleton any main callbacks which would lead us there. it's also a fixed product then, so even if i get a grand idea, i have to come back to the 'why' it matters. often there are drabbles in the folder for the fic that has no impact on the story, but i had to write them to get them out of my head.

-> i then write the beginning scenes, usually. at least the first chapter, i call this the 'muscle and blood' part. so it will usually be 75% there by the end. these are usually the bits i bother friends with and feel i can begin screaming about.

-> once i'm happy with the first chapter, i usually keep writing and fleshing beginning scenes until i'm happy I've got a grasp on both/all characters. sometimes I'll be fleshing/re-hashing these for days and moving/adding things that make the most sense to me as the writer, but also me as the reader. [i'm a strong believer in writing for yourself, so i write what i want to read, and if i'm happy, then that's what matters]

-> i'll normally have an idea of when i can begin posting, i prefer to post as i go because writing the full thing can take time, and it also holds me accountable because what i also do is:

-> i do not write chronologically. writing the first two-three chapters is the hardest freaking thing for me. i write backwards, i write a scene in the middle and then don't approach it again for ages. i am a swine. when i was writing long fiction (not on tumblr), being part of a writing group helped as i had to deliver a chapter each meeting, and that kept me accountable, so it's kind of like this for me

-> before posting, i'll then do a 'jo' edit which is where i sew my scenes together better, I'll likely add more 'jo-prose' and stuff cause i'm prettying the scene rather than telling you what happens. sometimes, i have to make tough calls over whether i want to make it pretty or just tell you, and ugh, i hate it.

-> then i'll do an edit-to-post, (be aware, i'm a little dyslexic so there will likely always be errors, but y'girl tries) and this is normally the day of or the night before i post. this is normally small and minor changes, and then I'll use spell check, Grammarly, etc.

-> for longer series, i try to have at least a few chapters banked to give myself breathing room when i post. currently, i'm one chapter ahead of myself, i'd like to be more, but i had a depressive episode, so i'm now behind.

-> i'm constantly checking in with my ending throughout. just because i have it written first, doesn't mean it remains concrete, things do shift and change but the core 'skeleton' of the ending remains the same because that's what i always set out to do. sometimes more nuance, callbacks or a shift in how they act changes as i develop their relationship so the ending is sometimes a little different in terms of style, approach and dialogue, but the 'action' of what is meant to happen, is always the same.

[le-dolla-bean-isthatspanish]

You know your Heartstopper obsession is intense when you sing along the background music and mouth the words of the dialogue while watching.

[another-kiraidesunosekai]

Personal Impression: BLIND (2022).

A 16 episodes of over thinking. (XD)

Who was the real culprit? From one suspect, turned to three working together (But, not the three from the picture). 

The mystery was quite interesting. From the first episode, I was drawn into thinking that  Ryu Sung Jun (the male lead, middle in the picture) was really the culprit, or was he really innocent? Was he unconsciously being used (since he lost his childhood memories after an accident)? He was. By his adoptive brother. 

From the very beginning, from the time Sung Hoon was adopted, he has intend to used Sung Jun as part of his revenge plan. 

"I never think of you as my real brother."

That hurts. 

Sung Jun might have slightly forgive Sung Hoon's doing if he really thinks Sung Jun like a real brother. But, Sung Hoon said he didn't. I don't know whether Sung Hoon deliberately said that because he wanted Sung Jun to hate him. 

At some point, I couldn't tell whether Sung Hoon was telling the truth or he's just using every one for his revenge. He didn't said to Eun Ki that Yoon Jae killed Yu Na because it was his "punishment" after saving Eun Ki from the killing. At some point, Sung Hoon was indeed enjoying his short times with Yu Na. And, Yu Na clearly said to Sung Hoon not to hurt Eun Ki, because the social worker was her lead role. Maybe Sung Hoon saved Eun Ki because of that reason, and made Yoon Jae killed Yu Na instead. Maybe Sung Hoon didn't tell it to Eun Ki so she won't blame herself for surviving—and made Yu Na "replaced" her. 

I've suspected Sung Hoon as the culprit from the wood sculpture that being used to sticks the jurors pictures. A character that looking to be good to be true, most of the time they are the real culprit. 

Sung Hoon's character was kind of complicated too. He wanted revenge, but he still give the chance to repentance. He doesn't want to hurt people who doesn't have any connections with the welfare in the past, but Yoon Jae thinks the opposite. 

Although I enjoy this series, but there were also some unsatisfying things.

The timestamps in this series were chaotic. Like I thought one scene was happening at the same time with other scene, yet it wasn't. It feels like they deliberately made me think that way. 

They also kind of deliberately made me think that Sung Jun was the culprit. 

The mystery was revealed by flashback and not by proofing evidence. That kind of annoys me. I thought the revealed would be grande. (XD)

Eun Ki's role was little? I thought she would get more active parts since she was on the poster. It feels like she's only there to complete as a side character and not as the lead.  

There were also some questions that need to be answered, such as: 

How did Sung Jun knew that Man Chun was being paid to attack Mr. Baek's daughter? While Man Chun only revealed to Mr. Baek when he was being attacked at the hospital. 

How did Yoon Jae and the chef met? Why the chef was so clingy to Yoon Jae, and even took his own life when Yoon Jae died? What was their story? How did the three met?

Who did the killing? Sung Hoon was the master mind, then the killing was done by Yoon Jae or the chef (who was skilled with knife)?

Why Sung Hoon or Yoon Jae hadn't killed the shaman lady? 

How did Sung Jun and Sung Hoon saved every one who were captured and prisoned at the welfare center? 

Why did Sung Hoon being adopted to the Ryu's family? The couple intent to hide their crimes by doing so? That's also why they were more favor towards Sung Hoon rather than to Sung Jung—their own son? 

To be honest, the last episode was less grande than I thought it would be. It kind of feel dragging. Also with the ads inside the scenes. (XD)

I wish Sung Jun would said, "I'll come to see you again" to Sung Hoon when he was visiting Sung Hoon in prison. When Sung Jun called "hyung", Sung Hoon's face was kind of change. And Sung Jun's look at that time was like his usual look when he was with Sung Hoon, like a obedient and lost puppy. (XD)

The end was sad though. Sung Hoon was the only one who survived from the five kids. For his crimes, he was sentenced to a life in prison, while in the past he has spent his times like living in a prison, being tortured and abused, at the welfare center. It's sad and ironic. 

[literali1110]

The Rookie 4x10, Chenford, and Lucy

I think we all knew 4x10 would be a 'step down' from 4x09, in terms of Chenford, and it was. Not every episode can be a mid-season finale! It also fits into those categories of episodes that have some good Chenford stuff in the beginning/middle/throughout, but doesn't culminate with a big Chenford scene (such as 4x05, 4x07 etc.), so it leaves you feeling a *little* bit unsatisfied.

With that said, and keeping in mind that we knew we were getting into a chuck of episodes where they each have their own LI, we were still fed pretty well, in my opinion!

Remember Tim "we don't talk about you. ever." Bradford? Not anymore, because there he was, just casually mentioning Lucy to Ashley, unprompted!

I just loved dog dad Tim so much this episode. Feeding Kojo, and petting him, and calling him the best dog, and telling him when his dog walker was coming!

I think the biggest surprise was that Ashley. called. Lucy. And yeah, she originally called to talk about Kojo, but she must have picked up on how well Lucy knows and cares about Tim.

Speaking of THAT "sweetheart" scene:

I loved it so much - the way she was looking at Tim, and clearly talking more about him than about the dog. She just knows him so well, and cares about him so much, and wants the best for him. And even though she might not think Ashley is right for him, she wants him to be happy, so she does her best to help them make their relationship work.

Every time she tells someone about who Tim really is, at his core, I believe she gets one step closer to realizing she's falling in love with him. We're going to get through this LI stage together, everyone! With this relationship especially, the writers are clearly showing us the contract between Tim and Lucy vs Tim and anyone else.

(Side note, there's that Jewish star "holiday decoration" again! 😂)

Now, moving on to Lucy herself. I believe we got a glimpse this episode of one of "Lucy's personal journeys" and I am very excited about that!

Whether Chris Sanford ends up being a LI or not, it seems his presence is the beginning of what could be a great arc for Lucy. Even though he berated her at the end, you could see that Lucy was clearly affected by what happened to Tyler and knew that she had done the right thing for him - if only she could have done more.

(Also, how pretty was she in this scene??)

I'm not sure exactly where this could lead, but I hope we get to see more of Lucy trying to change the system, and help at-risk youth. The storyline with Tamara next episode could tie into this. Maybe we'll see more of her with James and Wesley at the community center. Perhaps she'll take in a few more puppies ;)

I'll end with what Lucy tells her dad in 1x17, "[The system]'s designed to punish people, not care for them, but that will never change unless people like me step up and make it change."

Happy to chat in the comments or via an ask!

[gunmetal-ring]

I'm actually looking forward to next week's episode tbh like I know so many of us are dreading it and are having a lot of anxiety but I have a rly hard time believing that Leah will be introduced independent of the reapers, meaning that she'll likely rip off her mask and dramatically be like "daryl... the group that just killed some of your group... They're My Family"

meaning that Daryl will internally be like, in order

A) omg wait Leah is alive?!

B) wtf?!

C) wait why is she with the bad guys?!

D) wait she called them her family?!

E) she's voluntarily with them?!

F) why?!

G) hang on she's been hunting maggie?!

H) oh shit she's probably still pissed that I bounced

I) she's probably double pissed that I chose Carol- uh, um, I mean Rick/and now Maggie over her, even tho it was only temporarily, but she doesn't know that bc she bounced before I came back

J) oo and she's probably triple pissed that I didn't bother looking for her the way I looked for Rick #BromanceOverRomance (and only decided to stop looking for Rick when Carol asked me to, whoops i mean -)

K) hmm alright how am I gonna survive this one

Then, knowing twd, the end credits will roll, and then the next time we resume that storyline it'll be

L) alright well maybe I'll ask how the hell she's still alive where has she been what happened etc you know, all the awkward run-in-with-the-ex catching up they have to do

M) probably gonna get some snarky remark because hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, and then he's gonna be like well you know what I gotta stay alive for this bc how else will I ride off into the sunset with Carol?

N) so he'll say "hey psst secret is that I hate Maggie too, i was trying to kill her too I super swear, let's join together and do it also I love you 5ever Im totally telling the truth I super duper swear for real pinky promise"

O) and internally he'll be like not only will this keep me alive so I can ride off into the subset with Carol but it will also help me to accept the fact that my value as a person does not rest on whether or not I can save people

P) bc as we know, the girl was cuckoo for cocoa puffs back when they met, and has probably only turned cuckoo-ier since she bounced, seeing as how she's on a murderous rampage with a bunch of dudes in creepy Halloween masks

Q) and then he'll realize that She Can't Be Saved And TBH Wasn't All That Great To Begin With, And It Probably Wasn't A Great Idea To Date Her In The First Place Anyway, Especially Since I Was Actually In Love With Someone Else The Whole Time whoops I mean -

R) and then she'll die or fuck off forever somehow and Carol will be like omg Daryl I'm so sorry that your creepy woodswoman long lost love is gone for good, it's probably my fault to some degree, just like your its-not-like-that long lost love is gone for good also because of me

S) and he'll be like um jsyk when I say "It's not like that" I mean "it's not like that" so no I don't love Connie it just sucks that she went AWOL for all the normal reasons, and also have you considered the fact that the thing I loved about leah was that she had Dog and gave me a sense of purpose while I was failing to find rick bc if I can't find him at least maybe I can save her from herself

T) and Carol will be like OK well and Daryl will be like no okay well just LISTEN to me the main reason I didn't love either of them is because I love YOU always have always will

U) then Carol will start crying and he'll gently wipe away her tears and be like BTW I know you love me but I get it if you can't be w me bc of all your trauma and whatnot

V) and Carol will be like yes I love you I've been repressing it for the last six or seven seasons bc i thought you didn't love me but you know what I'm working thru my trauma as best I can

W) and he'll be like oh great so.... this means I can kiss you right

X) and she'll be like um duh lay one on me

Y) they kiss

Z) they ride off into the sunset and star in a spinoff all about middle aged dating in the zombie apocalypse when it's just the two of you out on the road all alone for the rest of your lives the end

[watching-pictures-move]

Put On Your Raincoats #20 | Squalid Motels and Desperate Gals, courtesy of Kim Christy

This review contains mild spoilers.

When I first heard of Kim Christy, I knew I had to delve into her work. Here is someone who was involved in the drag scene in the '60s and went on to direct and produce pornography from the '80s onward. She's also a trans woman director (and occasional actress), which is not just unusual in golden age pornography but even mainstream cinema today. Unfortunately, figuring out where to start was a challenge. There's a very good interview with her on the Advocate but which doesn't really delve into her directing work. So I did the highly risky and ill-advised move of scanning through the titles in her filmography and trying to pick out ones with interesting sounding premises. Even this was a challenge, as a lot of her movies sounded like they didn't have a terrible amount of story. (A good many of them also had certain slurs in the title, which are unfortunately common in trans pornography.) So out of the crapshoot of movies I picked, I can't say I really got to the bottom of what makes her work interesting or even gelled to most of them, but hopefully I can convey what makes the ones I did take to interesting.

To start with the most slight, the two Divine Atrocities movies are basically a collection of sex scenes. There's a theme of dominant women running through them, but otherwise there isn't much tying together in terms of staging, aesthetics and the like. The segments have titles like "The Leather Lass Tamer", "Rubber Rampage" and "Ms. Degradation", but truth be told, nothing here is terribly shocking. So there isn't a lot to either of these movies, but if you're watching it for those reasons, they're enjoyable enough. A few of the segments feature trans performers, and I did find that Sulka had a nicely imposing screen presence in her scene, and while Sugar Nicole briefly threatens her partner with her "big black cock", I did like that for the most part the movies don't discern between these scenes and the ones with cisgender performers. In the eyes of Kim Christy, there's room for everyone in this great sexual melange. Also notable is the threesome scene with Janey Robbins, who (after likely reading Dan Savage's column) tells one of her partners, "If you don't find a different way to fuck me, you can forget it, I'll have to find somebody else", and in the first time in the history of civilization, gets mad at her male partner for not climaxing quickly enough. "You always say it'll only take a few minutes. Time is the only thing I can't replace, and it always takes too long."

A bit more substantive narratively but less interesting is Momma's Boy, with a premise that you can guess based on the title. Tantala Ray presides over a brothel set during an indeterminate period, where she presides over her girls and also her son, who mysteriously became a deaf-mute at a certain point of time. Why did her son become a deaf-mute? Will we ever find out? Spoiler: it's incest. Tantala Ray does have a weird enough screen presence to make her parts watchable, but this has none of the charge that, say, Taboo brings to the same material. (It's worth noting that Ray in this movie, looking like a debauched queen of Mardi Gras in one scene, is a camp villain while Kay Parker plays her role straight in the other movie.) As it's shot on video, the movie is not very nice to look at, and the dirt cheap production values make it unclear whether this is supposed to be a period piece. Some of the dialogue is amusing ("Oxford?" "Guess again." "Princeton?" "Try Biloxi Tech, my sweetie."), and there is some old timey music and one of the clients wears an ascot at one point, so it's not a totally squalid affair. (It's classy, see? He's wearing an ascot.) As the son, Jerry Butler does a cringe-inducing lisp, but I did chuckle at his last line.

A bit easier to recommend is True Crimes of Passion, where Janey Robbins plays a private detective (cheekily named B.J. Fondel) who invariably bungles her investigations and winds up in sex scenes with the people she's supposed to be investigating. "Out of the fog and into the smog" begins the overwrought voiceover, which truth be told doesn't compare to the likes of Chandler but I guess the effort is nice. The first case involves her investigating the wife of a minister whom her client suspects of infidelity. Surprise, surprise, it turns out the wife has a girlfriend with whom she has dominant sex. Thanks to Robbins' investigative prowess, she gets found out and forced to join the proceedings and ends up getting her client, a Dan Quayle looking motherfucker in a cowboy hat, captured as well, which leads to an incredible burn.

"The lord will punish you for this."

"The lord already has, he gave me you for a husband."

Also, when Robbins is forced into cunnilingus, she says over narration, "Oh Christ, I'm not even sure I've seen one of these things up close", and yeah, okay, Janey.

The second scene is probably the most notable as it features Christy as a performer. Robbins visits her friend to investigate a death threat against her friend's brother (also Robbins' ex), and the twist can be deduced when you start wondering why a seemingly minor character gets an unusually large amount of screentime. The scene features a trope that likely isn't terribly sensitive by modern standards, but I get the sense from that Advocate interview that Christy isn't too hung up about such things and one must concede that the film is a product of its time and genre (and within that context, there's a lot worse out there). The last scene has Robbins spying on her neighbour in hotel to get some industry secrets, which leads to some really awkward dialogue about champagne and then a threesome involving her client and mark. Like the work of Yasojiru Ozu, this scene breaks the 180-rule, but I guess if this is your thing, you might enjoy it. At the very end, the mark just gives up his secrets to the client. The secrets of male bonding sometimes elude me.

Easily the most accomplished and enjoyable film from Christy that I watched was Squalor Motel. It combines the sexual variety of the other films with a sense of camp and grounds it in a distinct, memorable location. There isn't much more "plot" than the other movies, as it's basically about a motel concierge doing her job over the course of a day, but as it follows her bumping into a variety of (usually horny) guests and finding herself in amusing (and unfailingly sexual) situations, there's enough of a narrative through line that it feels like a "real" movie where the other movies strained for similar effect, and the movie uses a soundtrack of icy synths and jazz that sounds like imitation Angelo Badalamenti to give it all an alluring vibe. I'm gonna make a wager that David Lynch would have liked this movie. Look, I have no idea what his viewing habits are or what sends his motor running, and the thought of him jacking it furiously to this or any movie is not something that brings me pleasure. But this shares some of the campy tone and surface qualities of his works, and I also wanted to leave you all with that image.

Why does the motel have its own house band (to whom people try to listen to while they engage in all kinds of sexual congress)? Why is Jamie Gillis made up like a vampire and trying to sell marital aids? Why does the one guest's blow-up doll turn into a real person (and prove, uh, extremely vocal during their scene)? Why is the owner wearing a pig mask and a tutu while he spies on his guests? Why is everyone laughing at the newlywed? Why is the one scientist with a Hitler mustache and his shrill-voiced assistant conducting experiments (read: having a threesome) with Tantala Ray? And how are most of these things taking place in the mysterious Reptile Room in the middle of the motel? With an extremely winning Colleen Brennan in the lead role (sporting a pair of thick glasses, a Lucille Ball updo, and a big, toothy smile), we'll have a pretty good time finding out. Like a lot of hardcore movies, this is pretty episodic in structure, but its distinct atmosphere gives it a nice sense of momentum as it drifts from scene to scene.

With its nice production design (and the fact that it seems to have actual sets, rather than being shot in what I assume are people's homes like in the other movies), Squalor Motel feels a bit more upscale and lavish than the average porno. While I don't have any budgetary information handy, I do know that the production had an assistant director, Ned Morehead. To what extent he contributed to the movie's DNA I can't say for certain, but the directorial effort of his I watched, also produced by Christy, had many of the same qualities. Desperate Women starts off feeling pretty stylish with its spraypaint style opening credits (although it loses a bit of style when it misspells star Taija Rae's name as "Taja Rea"). Taija Rae plays a reporter who ends up wrongfully convicted for a murder and thrown in brutal women's prison presided over by the sadistic Tantala Ray, who seems to get her jollies from spying on her prisoners as they get it on or abusing them with the help of her dimwitted guard. During such incidents, the guard frequently ends up ejaculating on her uniform as a source of comic relief. (One such scene ends with a shot of a photo of Ronald Reagan.) I must however disclose, without revealing too much about the shameful inner workings of my hopelessly degenerate mind, that the denouement of scene involving Ray, her guard and Sharon Mitchell did not leave me unmoved. Mitchell plays a prisoner who befriends Taija Rae, and it's worth noting that despite being one of the best actresses in classic porn, she's saddled here with an atrocious Hispanic accent and at one point sings a bit of "America" from West Side Story.

By porn standards, this is actually quite well produced and has a relatively sturdy narrative. (I must however note that one scene has a blatant ejaculation-related continuity error.) Women in prison movies tend to be pretty squalid affairs in general, at least in terms of production values, so this doesn't feel too far off from the real thing and offers more explicit versions of the same pleasures, while its sense of humour gives it a nice campy quality. Tantala Ray especially delivers in a pleasingly over the top performance as the teeth-gnashing villain (the camera often frames her severe face in wide angle close ups), and say what you will about Sharon Mitchell's accent, I did like seeing her pop up in here. With all the flamboyance and excitement around her, Taija Rae almost becomes a supporting character in her own movie, although I must confess that I found her character's hopeless naivety pretty cute. ("I didn't wear rubbers, it's sunny out".) With a fun cast, a firm handle on the genre's pleasures and a groovy soundtrack, this is a pretty good time.

[harryandmeghansussex]

Day 18 of @defendingtheduchesses 's Meghan memories challenge.

Meghan's writing has always been one of my favourite strengths of hers. And I thought I would share one for day 18, so I picked this important one.

'What are you?' A question I get asked every week of my life, often every day. 'Well,' I say, as I begin the verbal dance I know all too well. 'I'm an actress, a writer, the Editor-in-Chief of my lifestyle brand The Tig, a pretty good cook and a firm believer in handwritten notes.' A mouthful, yes, but one that I feel paints a pretty solid picture of who I am. But here's what happens: they smile and nod politely, maybe even chuckle, before getting to their point, 'Right, but what are you? Where are your parents from?' I knew it was coming, I always do. While I could say Pennsylvania and Ohio, and continue this proverbial two-step, I instead give them what they're after: 'My dad is Caucasian and my mom is African American. I'm half black and half white.

To describe something as being black and white means it is clearly defined. Yet when your ethnicity is black and white, the dichotomy is not that clear. In fact, it creates a grey area. Being biracial paints a blurred line that is equal parts staggering and illuminating. When I was asked by ELLE to share my story, I'll be honest, I was scared. It's easy to talk about which make-up I prefer, my favourite scene I've filmed, the rigmarole of 'a day in the life' and how much green juice I consume before a requisite Pilates class. And while I have dipped my toes into this on thetig.com, sharing small vignettes of my experiences as a biracial woman, today I am choosing to be braver, to go a bit deeper, and to share a much larger picture of that with you.

It was the late Seventies when my parents met, my dad was a lighting director for a soap opera and my mom was a temp at the studio. I like to think he was drawn to her sweet eyes and her Afro, plus their shared love of antiques. Whatever it was, they married and had me. They moved into a house in The Valley in LA, to a neighbourhood that was leafy and affordable. What it was not, however, was diverse. And there was my mom, caramel in complexion with her light-skinned baby in tow, being asked where my mother was since they assumed she was the nanny.

I was too young at the time to know what it was like for my parents, but I can tell you what it was like for me – how they crafted the world around me to make me feel like I wasn't different but special. When I was about seven, I had been fawning over a boxed set of Barbie dolls. It was called The Heart Family and included a mom doll, a dad doll, and two children. This perfect nuclear family was only sold in sets of white dolls or black dolls. I don't remember coveting one over the other, I just wanted one. On Christmas morning, swathed in glitter-flecked wrapping paper, there I found my Heart Family: a black mom doll, a white dad doll, and a child in each colour. My dad had taken the sets apart and customised my family.

Fast-forward to the seventh grade and my parents couldn't protect me as much as they could when I was younger. There was a mandatory census I had to complete in my English class – you had to check one of the boxes to indicate your ethnicity: white, black, Hispanic or Asian. There I was (my curly hair, my freckled face, my pale skin, my mixed race) looking down at these boxes, not wanting to mess up, but not knowing what to do. You could only choose one, but that would be to choose one parent over the other – and one half of myself over the other. My teacher told me to check the box for Caucasian. 'Because that's how you look, Meghan,' she said. I put down my pen. Not as an act of defiance, but rather a symptom of my confusion. I couldn't bring myself to do that, to picture the pit-in-her-belly sadness my mother would feel if she were to find out. So, I didn't tick a box. I left my identity blank – a question mark, an absolute incomplete – much like how I felt.

When I went home that night, I told my dad what had happened. He said the words that have always stayed with me: 'If that happens again, you draw your own box.'

I never saw my father angry, but in that moment I could see the blotchiness of his skin crawling from pink to red. It made the green of his eyes pop and his brow was weighted at the thought of his daughter being prey to ignorance. Growing up in a homogeneous community in Pennsylvania, the concept of marrying an African-American woman was not on the cards for my dad. But he saw beyond what was put in front of him in that small-sized (and, perhaps, small-minded) town, and he wanted me to see beyond that census placed in front of me. He wanted me to find my own truth.

And I tried. Navigating closed-mindedness to the tune of a dorm mate I met my first week at university who asked if my parents were still together. 'You said your mom is black and your dad is white, right?' she said. I smiled meekly, waiting for what could possibly come out of her pursed lips next. 'And they're divorced?' I nodded. 'Oh, well that makes sense.' To this day, I still don't fully understand what she meant by that, but I understood the implication. And I drew back: I was scared to open this Pandora's box of discrimination, so I sat stifled, swallowing my voice.

I was home in LA on a college break when my mom was called the 'N' word. We were leaving a concert and she wasn't pulling out of a parking space quickly enough for another driver. My skin rushed with heat as I looked to my mom. Her eyes welling with hateful tears, I could only breathe out a whisper of words, so hushed they were barely audible: 'It's OK, Mommy.' I was trying to temper the rage-filled air permeating our small silver Volvo. Los Angeles had been plagued with the racially charged Rodney King and Reginald Denny cases just years before, when riots had flooded our streets, filling the sky with ash that flaked down like apocalyptic snow; I shared my mom's heartache, but I wanted us to be safe. We drove home in deafening silence, her chocolate knuckles pale from gripping the wheel so tightly.

It's either ironic or apropos that in this world of not fitting in, and of harbouring my emotions so tightly under my ethnically nondescript (and not so thick) skin, that I would decide to become an actress. There couldn't possibly be a more label-driven industry than acting, seeing as every audition comes with a character breakdown: 'Beautiful, sassy, Latina, 20s'; 'African American, urban, pretty, early 30s'; 'Caucasian, blonde, modern girl next door'. Every role has a label; every casting is for something specific. But perhaps it is through this craft that I found my voice.

Being 'ethnically ambiguous', as I was pegged in the industry, meant I could audition for virtually any role. Morphing from Latina when I was dressed in red, to African American when in mustard yellow; my closet filled with fashionable frocks to make me look as racially varied as an Eighties Benetton poster. Sadly, it didn't matter: I wasn't black enough for the black roles and I wasn't white enough for the white ones, leaving me somewhere in the middle as the ethnic chameleon who couldn't book a job.

This is precisely why Suits stole my heart. It's the Goldilocks of my acting career – where finally I was just right. The series was initially conceived as a dramedy about a NY law firm flanked by two partners, one of whom navigates this glitzy world with his fraudulent degree. Enter Rachel Zane, one of the female leads and the dream girl – beautiful and confident with an encyclopedic knowledge of the law. 'Dream girl' in Hollywood terms had always been that quintessential blonde-haired, blue-eyed beauty – that was the face that launched a thousand ships, not the mixed one. But the show's producers weren't looking for someone mixed, nor someone white or black for that matter. They were simply looking for Rachel. In making a choice like that, the Suits producers helped shift the way pop culture defines beauty. The choices made in these rooms trickle into how viewers see the world, whether they're aware of it or not. Some households may never have had a black person in their house as a guest, or someone biracial. Well, now there are a lot of us on your TV and in your home with you. And with Suits, specifically, you have Rachel Zane. I couldn't be prouder of that.

At the end of season two, the producers went a step further and cast the role of Rachel's father as a dark-skinned African-American man, played by the brilliant Wendell Pierce. I remember the tweets when that first episode of the Zane family aired, they ran the gamut from: 'Why would they make her dad black? She's not black' to 'Ew, she's black? I used to think she was hot.' The latter was blocked and reported. The reaction was unexpected, but speaks of the undercurrent of racism that is so prevalent, especially within America. On the heels of the racial unrest in Ferguson and Baltimore, the tensions that have long been percolating under the surface in the US have boiled over in the most deeply saddening way. And as a biracial woman, I watch in horror as both sides of a culture I define as my own become victims of spin in the media, perpetuating stereotypes and reminding us that the States has perhaps only placed bandages over the problems that have never healed at the root.

I, on the other hand, have healed from the base. While my mixed heritage may have created a grey area surrounding my self-identification, keeping me with a foot on both sides of the fence, I have come to embrace that. To say who I am, to share where I'm from, to voice my pride in being a strong, confident mixed-race woman. That when asked to choose my ethnicity in a questionnaire as in my seventh grade class, or these days to check 'Other', I simply say: 'Sorry, world, this is not Lost and I am not one of The Others. I am enough exactly as I am.'

Just as black and white, when mixed, make grey, in many ways that's what it did to my self-identity: it created a murky area of who I was, a haze around howpeople connected with me. I was grey. And who wants to be this indifferent colour, devoid of depth and stuck in the middle? I certainly didn't. So you make a choice: continue living your life feeling muddled in this abyss of self-misunderstanding, or you find your identity independent of it. You push for colour-blind casting, you draw your own box. You introduce yourself as who you are, not what colour your parents happen to be. You cultivate your life with people who don't lead with ethnic descriptions such as, 'that black guy Tom', but rather friends who say: 'You know? Tom, who works at [blah blah] and dates [fill in the blank] girl.' You create the identity you want for yourself, just as my ancestors did when they were given their freedom. Because in 1865 (which is so shatteringly recent), when slavery was abolished in the United States, former slaves had to choose a name. A surname, to be exact.

Perhaps the closest thing to connecting me to my ever-complex family tree, my longing to know where I come from, and the commonality that links me to my bloodline, is the choice that my great-great-great grandfather made to start anew. He chose the last name Wisdom. He drew his own box.

[shinovii]

Oh wow, what a Saturday it's become! These episodes came out of the woodwork, and holy smokes I got so excited to watch em!!!

Okay......how many episodes have we had involving Royal Woods Elementary? Not complaining, just needed a headcount. Also, with an episode name like "Stall Monitor", I was expecting something different. Hmm......ah well, on with the show!!!

Tonight is Parent Teacher Conference night, the single most worrisome day for any student in elementary school.....and maybe middle, and Mrs. Johnson aims to speak to each student's parents. Yes, that also includes Lincoln's as well and he's beyond worried (thank Clyde for the paper bag assist). With all the potential moments he listened, he feels it's gonna be rough for him once Mrs. J speaks to Lynn Sr. and Rita. As such, the man with the plan intends to put a halt to it, but not without some help from the gang...

Okay show of hands, how many actually dreadend Parent Teacher Conferences? It always feels like it wasn't as terrible as most shows made it out to be (well.....unless you were that one mischievous kid, that is.) But I digress, not too bad an episode this one was. It's always interesting seeing what kind of plan Lincoln cooks up because there's many different things he can think of, which makes for some pretty entertaining shenanigans. I'm also glad we got to see the gang's parents show up as well, and even they gave me some good chuckles too (plus seeing Liam's Mee Maw was every bit as crazy as I had thought she'd be). I'll admit the ending was just as I had figured, but it wasn't bad. Overall a solid episode, gave the gang more to work with, and shows Lincoln in his lovable goofy environment.

Also, always count on the McBrides to deliver when on screen!

I was wondering when Luan was gonna get another episode, lo and behold! Not only that......it's a ship episode too! Great!!! But, even something this good is not without its blemishes....

In the lovely residence that is Casa Loud, awakens a bright and very chipper Luan Loud! It's for good reason too, as it just so happens be her very first date with Benny (yeah, Benny! Ya know, from such classic episodes as L is For Love and Stage Plight)! It's such a joyous occasion for her, but unfortunately it gets cut short as Luan seems to have grown a bulbous boil (no one tell Elmer). Timing........it is impeccable and it hits Luan like a truck! After some helpful (and pretty much ignored) advice from dear big sis Lori, Luan sets out to get her pestering pimple remedied before her big date and the siblings are here to help!

Ohhhh wow this was just a treat! I know it's the typical zit plot, but this was a good way to do this to be honest. Luan, even when she's trying to handle a serious situation, continues to make light of it in her own way and I love it (plus Mr. Coconuts is at his A-game this time around)! Is it ever a doubt in my mind why she remains my third favorite Loud sister? No.......no there is not! We also needed an episode that helps add to the newfound ship that is Luanny (ship development is a damn needed thing), and this one delivers a tad bit! Credit to Benny too, he comes off as a pretty decent character in this! Hard to believe he was just some random teen without a single line of dialogue before. See, this is something I want TLH to do more of, expanding the world and fleshing out the extra stuff (whether in the show or comics, I don't mind it). It would help add more depth to characters that people in the fandom like but are very underappreciated. As for the closing moments, it is sweet, simplistic, but cracks me up in good Luan fashion! It's a very nice episode, but not something to be overly hyped about tho.

Well I guess that's about it for this double feature, and another Saturday done! Until next-

Oh......oh my......it's.....it's a......a.........TRIPLE FEATURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay so, remember after The Great Lakes City Tour I said I "wasn't" going to do impressions on episodes of The Casagrandes? Well........THIS ONE IS A HELL OF AN EXCEPTION!!!!!!! Yes everybody, I'm talking about "The Horror-Scope", and for good reason too! I see great things out of this one, so says the fortune! Let's get underway, shall we?

We begin this episode with.....astrology? Yes, it seems Rosa is about to watch a fortune telling show by "Ernesto Estrella" (voiced by George freaking Lopez, yes! Wait, he voices a character named.....Ernie? Ha!), and young Ronnie Anne is being a bit of a skeptic. However, it seems today's fortune reads that fire signs are gonna find love, and wait a second......Ronnie Anne's a fire sign (conveniently). She may deny, but then "COMPLETELY UNEXPECTED AND NOT WELL TIMED FOR THE PLOT", she gets a call from Lincoln......and he's on his way to hang out with her! Rosa, possibly overhearing somehow, sees this as a sign, but Ronnie Anne is quick to deny it saying the two are "just friends" (Careful when saying such a thing Ronalda, the power of love is always so strong). So the snowy haired boy arrives and the two set off to spend the day, but is the fortune proving true to Ronnie Anne? We'll find out!

Sigh.........ya know, I ship these two so much, and if I have to go through so much slowburn to see this at the endgame.......hit me with EVERYTHING YA GOT IN THE COMING EPISODES!!!! Let's be honest, this was Ronniecoln fuel in every step of the way, and by gosh do I love it! The interactions, the dialogue, even the many scenes it had were filled with shipteasing and it'd be hard to miss any of it (they know full well what to do with these two, I'm sure of it). I will admit I'm a little bummed that Sid didn't play a bigger role in the shipteasing as well, but one can't leave a pet bird flying away forever (unless you're Sergio). Also, love the callback to previous TLH episode with Lincoln, it kept some good continuity which is always welcome! Even the closing moments were just a bundle of feels for me, I was so happy by the end of it! Now I may not be the top Ronniecoln shipper around (I'd be "flying too close to the Sun" if I claimed I was lol), but I'd still recommend this even if you like the dynamic these two have when they're together! A fun episode, good choice of a guest star, and tons of shipteasing that I'd watch over and over!

Well then, I guess that's it for our triple feature! I just couldn't let this slip by me, not by a longshot! This was a crazy good day TLH/TCG fans and I couldn't be anymore satisfied! Until next time everybody when the next new episodes come by!!!!

[holywankenobi]

SW fandom rant

To be honest, I don't really know how or where can I start talking about this. If you aren't interested in any of the Star Wars drama that is going on then skip this post, cause its gonna be long... these goes for the SW fans we are concerned about the whole situation itself. I barely have the strength to do this and exposing my opinion about certain things makes me uncomfortable but it's been a long while since I'm keeping things to myself. There's much information I have to process so please be patient with me since I barely know how to express my emotions in the right way (that's why I'm holding myself back a lot here: it will seem I'm calm... but I'm not. I'm angry and tired at the same time).

DISNEY CANON

We all know where it all started. The Force Awakens premiere in 2015. We will start from there.

As ANY star wars movie, there will be people who liked it, people who loved it and people who hated it. And there is where some fans clash with the others. Fans who enjoy practically every movie or SW related things and those fans who demonize every movie (specially the ones from the new Disney canon) and the only thing that matters for them are the episodes IV, V, VI and the Legends canon (some of them also defend the prequel episodes I, II and III, fact which I'll talk about it later). And they bash against everyone who likes the Disney sequels.

BOI IM SCARED OF TELLING PEOPLE THIS WAS MY FAVOURITE SAGA SO FAR. And I already had problems with Legends hardcore fans.

Let me tell this straightaway... Star Wars are movies for kids. They've always been. George Lucas said it. They seem to be thirsty for feeling again what they felt when they were kids whenever a SW movie comes out but they always exit the cinema with a feeling of extreme disappointment.

I was talking about the last movie with my co workers at the beginning of the year and they complaint it was "too Disney". And that's precisely what I'm trying to explain! It's ok whether you like the sequels or not like them. Everyone has his own taste. I just find funny complaining for a whole saga originally made for kids for being "too Disney". I dont know if you get my point here.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uEsOqEpNF0k&list=PL8SlwcJuVWR2FNtL-6Wo5QUP6LMjpNJUA

LEGENDS CANON

Then there's those who hated the prequels, that said there was nothing worse than the phantom menace, those who hated on George Lucas for doing such a crap, but now praise the prequels because Disney is satan for them and they want the old canon back. George Lucas ended up selling SW to Disney because, he ain't no fool, he knows this fanbase is one of the most toxic and ungrateful that has ever existed. And he saw it with the prequels feedback... Then they now have the guts to demand him to continue the old canon? Smells like hypocrite-crying fanboys to me.

My whole point is....It's ok if you are a new/Disney sequels fan, it's ok if you are a prequels fan, it's ok if you are a SW original movies fan, Legends canon fan, OG fan, casual fan, hardcore fan... as always you understand that not everyone will agree with your point of view, not everyone will like or think the same way as you do, or live SW the same way as you do. There's a difference between respecting and agreeing with, concepts which sometimes get mixed and taken as the same thing, which is not. Respect other fans mean "I don't agree with you but I know how much this means for you, so I won't intentionally mock you" WHICH THING LEADS US TO THE NEXT TOPIC:

JOHN BOYEGA

*takes a deep breath*

Man. I dont know. He's a full grown up man and he's behaving like a 5 yo on his social media...... John is the actor who gives life to Finn (the ex stormtrooper). It all started with this sexist comment he responded to a fan in his IG. 

Then people (naturally) got offended, specially reylos. But instead of apologizing he kept on going, remarked what he said and also did a video to mock the reylo community.

You think I'm only defending a ship here but no. Its bigger than that. He has the right to feel left out in this saga because I agree with him IN THAT FACT. He is probably the actor which is more into the SW world, he was always a big fan (of the whole cast I mean). Thats why fans love him do much. And I did love him too. And he (naturally) wanted to have more spotlight on this saga ( I think Finn was one of the most wasted characters of these movies tbh) But instead of taking it the mature way he's having a tantrum on his IG because Finnrey did not become a real thing, he's trolling reylos and encouraging SW haters and antis to bully them whose are already having a hard time with TROS end (which I'll talk about later because I dont like their attitude about it either).

And it's not just raise the hate on shippers thing dude you could just apologize because you said something sexist and offended a lot of people who ship reylo and really means a thing for them. The whole thing that the greatest achievement a man can have with a woman is sex is just DISGUSTING. Rey kissed Ben but now he's gone Finn has the road clear and can fuck her? BRUH.

This is all so wrong and he was the one who started it.

ADAM DRIVER

I'm really relieved Adam does not have any social media because omg I would be suffering so much rn...

I honestly have never emotionally connected with an actor so much as I did with him. His whole acting is so good and I could really notice on this last movie. I'm starting to watch his other movies. And not just his acting, he's so professional off camera too.

I'm really happy and proud of him for his Oscar nomination, he really deserves it TT

But I'm worried this whole John Boyega thing affects him. Idk how I would feel if I were in his shoes, if my coworker was saying those things on social media and then smile at me like nothing is happening. But honestly what hurts me the most is he's having a worse time with "reylos".. I think the rumors of him having an affair with Daisy Ridley was what messed things up. I honestly dont know if its true, I've got some info but it's hard to believe. Because there are so many haters manipulating fake info that I dont trust anything and anyone anymore.

And this is where I talk about:

REYLOS AND DAIVERS

BOI OH BOI

This is gonna be hard....

First of all, I don't consider Daivers (Daisy x Adam shippers) as part of the reylo community. I'm sorry. But its fucking disgusting you going to demand Adam to divorce from his wife, abandon his son and then start dating Daisy because of this rumor or because you can't separate fiction from reality.... I read he even recieved death threats ARE WE NUTS??? They (Adam and Daisy) having a good chemistry working together doesn't mean they are in love, kids...

Driver has an awesome wife and a lovely son. Daisy is currently dating someone.

Infidelity is gross. No more. And I would be so disappointed at them if this turns out to be true. But seeing all what's happening around the actors and specially having all this haters out there... I'll say this was all false information.

Daiver is not real and won't be. So stick only to the fictional ship.....

About Reylo itself. I find REALLY funny how people who dont know shit about what this ship means say it's an abusive relationship. Bullshit. I wouldn't be shipping them if so.

Also the people still stating it's not real/canon hiding themselves behind the "Ben solo is dead lol" argument. Do you stop loving someone when they die?

Yes, they love each other. No, it wasn't always reciprocated love. They started being enemies in the force awakens, friends who understood and cared for each other through force dyad in the last jedi and ended up being lovers at the end of the rise of Skywalker. Rey wants to revenge her family (her falling to the dark side) but also wants Ben Solo back, and he wants to be the most powerful leader on the galaxy and still being kylo ren. But they eventually meet in the middle between light and dark and Leia finally reaches out to him to make him turn to the light.That's their fight. That's the angst. That's the tea. "No one is ever really gone" there's always hope. Star Wars is centered in HOPE. And their story represents it at its finest.

NOW. The reylo community.

Despite you liked it or not the end they gave to the saga... I think JJ Abrams doesn't deserve all the hate he's receiving... he probably did a lot of things wrong but seriously... just stop. Not only from reylos but the whole fandom.

Sending hate won't lead to anything now...

I enjoyed The rise of Skywalker. Indeed I spent half of the movie crying and I loved it.

You can cry as much as you want the loss of Ben (although I have hope for him still being alive in a way, there are plenty of theories) but that doesn't give you the right to death threat JJ. And I think I'll stop here cause I'm already tired.

Everyone has their own taste, preferences, favourite characters, ships, whatever. I pray for people stop judging others for their tastes, specially in this cursed fanbase. Sorry if I ever misbehaved trying to defend what I think or like. I just want this place to be supportive and safe for everyone and everything what's happening is not helping... We are all SW fans and that's our connection point. Dont discredit others for having another point of view...

I'll leave it here, but I'm open to debate or talk about anything I said in a respectful way.

[amwritingmeta]

Hi! So @tinkdw said you also believe that s13 may be the last season of spn. Was just wondering, maybe you wrote some post about it somewhere? I'll be very interested in reading it ☺️

Hello, my lovely - and I am so very sorry for the late reply! I have actually not written a post about my brewing conviction that SPN is ready to move into Wrapping It Up territory. So here are my thoughts! :)

Tink is indeed right: I have believed for quite some time now that S13 will most likely be the final season. I’ve thought this because of how the narrative is beginning to tie back to the beginning, through callbacks and a very clear push towards - what I firmly believe - will be a positive endgame.

Narratively there are three acts - or parts - to a story. There can be five, or seven, or however many goddamn acts the writer deems fit for the story they want to tell, but the Alpha and the Omega - Aristotle - divided his story structure into three distinctive parts: the Beginning, the Middle, the End. 

Simple enough. 

So here are my personally cobbled together Acts Specifics:

Act One sets up all the story elements that will be integral to the narrative.

Act Two takes these story elements to further explore, deepen and evolve the narrative.

Act Three reveals the hidden truths of the chosen story elements and delivers on the promise of the premise by answering the thematic question posed in Act One and picked up on with every new Story Beat throughout the narrative.

So, Act Three gives us the juicy bits:

it’s where the bigger picture is finally beginning to reveal itself

it’s where the good storyteller will avoid bringing in any new elements that will sincerely jar with what has come before, and instead use all the foreshadowing set up in Act One and furthered in Act Two to provide a Twist that feels unexpected, and yet unavoidable 

The Twist is what sets off the narrative’s movement into Act Three and pushes the momentum of the Plot and Character Arcs towards Climax. (yes, that’s what it’s called) (don’t look at me like that) (or do) (I kinda like it) (*flirty*) (moving on)

To my mind, Act Three of the SPN narrative began with 11x01, because S11 focused so entirely on our Protagonist - that would be Dean - taking huge, huge steps towards his endgame by realising he’s in love with Cas.

This undeniable love is what has facilitated Dean’s character growth since S4, so for him to actually understand his own emotions and being forced to admit them to himself is monumentally important for him reaching his endgame.

Reaching his endgame - self-worth through self-acceptance - will reward him with a long and happy life with the man he loves. Just to be clear.

And, to my mind, admitting his emotions to himself has informed his attitude and actions throughout S12, so the growth spurt of S11 was not for nothing and they kept building on it, giving us tension and confusion and a mixtape.

The Twist that S11 offered us, then, was introducing Amara into the narrative. 

Amara is not something new thrown in last minute

She is an Act Three Standard as she is in fact a Callback

She is a Callback to all the women who came before her

She is what Dean before Cas might actually have been seduced by

She is everything Dean has always convinced himself he should want, everything any average viewer would assume he does want

But Dean’s love for Cas is true love and it blocks every last attempt from Amara to control Dean’s heart

Amara’s first purpose in the narrative is to underline Dean’s love for Cas for the sake of us, the audience.

She is continually a Mirror Opposite for Cas throughout the season

This places her firmly in the Not What Dean Wants At All Ever Box 

As Cas occupies his Everything I Could Ever Want and Need Box

Amara is placed in her box in every single scene she shares with Dean 

Yes, even that kiss between them, because it is so very clearly not what Dean wants, which is put in dialogue twice: with Casifer and with Sam

Amara’s second purpose in the narrative is to highlight Dean’s love for Cas in order for Dean to admit to himself how he feels.

Amara tells Dean they are bonded, tying herself inexorably to Cas’ statement of how he and Dean share a profound bond 

Amara states that she and Dean were meant for each other, intruding on his Free Will as she tries to make him understand there’s nothing he can do and he should just give in

But Dean’s heart is completely filled up with Cas, and Amara’s Mirror Opposite is only working to make him more and more aware of this

Because Cas is all Dean cares about, worries about, truly wants

Amara’s statements are true, just not when applied to her: they can only be applied to Cas

With one significant difference: Dean would choose Cas in a heart beat, of his own Free Will, no coercion, no tricks, no power plays needed

And Dean slowly comes to realise this during the seasonal narrative

(Chuck’s face. Chuck’s face. Chuck’s goddamn face! *shipper*)

Dean realising he’s actually in love with Cas is a Big Push Forward for our Protagonist, and as our Protagonist’s Journey moves forward, so does the narrative itself, because without the Journey, the narrative flounders.

So then, that’s my reason for believing we’re in the final stretch here: the journey for every main character is coming to its head. It’s also my reason for not believing they’ll want to drag this narrative out for a whole lotta more seasons.

I find it hard to believe they’d even want to drag it out for two more whole seasons, especially after how S12 ended with every character leaping and bounding forward in their character growth:

Dean’s walls torn down (or blown to rubble via grenade launcher)

The brodependency crumbling

Sam stepping into his shiny Leader of MoL boots

Cas’ death, that simply must be setting him up for a much needed rebirth

All of the main character arcs aren’t moving at glacier pace anymore, they are fucking snowballing towards endgame.

I can understand that they’d want to go for that 300th episode, however.

After JiB8 and the J2 panel, where both Jared and Jensen spoke positively about, possibly, doing a shorter season (though airily and not really in reference to a final season at all) I’m musing over whether this might be what they’re planning. That episode 300 will be their last. 

Jensen mentioned during an on-set interview that they don’t know how long they’ll go for, that they have the studio and network fully behind them, and that, as long as there is a good story to tell, they’re all willing to stay with it. This comment made me feel, more than ever, that they are all invested in this narrative and they know that it’s coming full circle.

They are closing the narrative, they are bringing it home, they are pushing it towards that climactic moment, when the characters have learned all their lessons, when the plot line is ready to reflect this, and the narrative can be tied up in a satisfactory and emotionally fulfilling way.

So even if S13 isn’t the absolute last, I do wonder if we’ll actually get a full S14.

But, hey, these writers are brilliant at what they do. I am in jaw-drop awe of how they have built the Destiel love story for going on 10 seasons now, so I am absolutely certain that if they wanted to go for longer than episode 300, they are all more than capable of delivering something fucking amazing. 

And let’s not despair if SPN is actually ending!! Not only will there be Wayward Daughters, I’ve no doubt! The SPN Family will continue and it will flourish! And we’ll have over a decade’s worth of glorious television to watch and watch again and then watch with friends and coerced family and slowly we can brainwash our work colleagues into our obsession until, finally - world domination. All the domination, peeps.

And rainbows. Always rainbows.