#and I’m the kinda butch who enjoys a debate

[beckyblah]

I will NOT discourse about dsmp in the year of our lord 2023!!!!!

[a-serial-killer-and-an-eggplant]

So with everything that's happened with Scott, and as a fnaf based blog, I think I should at least share my position. But first, let me make this clear.

A. He should not have been doxed, at all. That's not up for debate, no one and I mean no one, deserves to be doxxed and have their life put at risk.

B. If you want to stop supporting him, no one will blame you, but do not go harrassing him, or people who still support him.

With that said, I am and will still support him and his work. (If you have not seen his reddit talk about what happened, I suggest reading it over.) Scott has not been the type to be open about political beliefs. This may seem like something small but there are so many creators, especially big name ones that believe that they need to shove politics into everything they do, and it's gross. Also, even with his beliefs, he's not a bad person.

Let me explain further. First stating the obvious, you can be a republican, and still be a good person. Your can be a Christian and still care about the lgbt. And yes, you can give money to people like Trump, and not be racist. (Although honestly, watch my inbox get flooded because people don't believe that)

A republican, for those unaware, means someone who wants less national government control, and more state control, especially when it comes to laws. A democrat on the other hand, is someone who wants more government control. Being a republican does not automatically mean you are, racist, homophobic, narcissistic, facist, etc. These are just as delicately balanced stereotypes as the laws these groups support. You can be a republican and want firmer gun control for example. What laws and people someone supports are not just based around the majority, or even the loud minoroty, but the individual.

Has Scott ever shown himself to hate or be against his lgbt, or poc fans? No. Has Scott ever shoved his pro-life beliefs in his face because it's what he believes? No. Has he ever forced subliminal messaging into his games? No.

Scott doesn't care what you believe, or what he believes, he just wants to create things people enjoy. Plus Mangle is canonically genderfluid and not too long ago, WilliamxHenry and other lgbt ships are very popular, and everyone was joking about the mpreg story in a canon book, and Scott has never bashed any of it. Meanwhile look at people like Butch Hartman, people headcanoned Danny phantom as trans and he openly disclosed that he didn't like even the idea of that. I'm sorry I didn't know exactly where to squeeze these in, but honestly did some people even think about this?

Ontop of that, people can support other's that they think will be more helpful towards the community, even if they disagree on a lot (and they can be wrong and change too). For those of you who are involved in politics, or who even knew about the 2020 election, you realize most democratic voters didn't like Joe Biden. Hell the slogans were all about "settling for Biden" because at least it would be safer, we hoped. And thankfully were right (kinda). And another trend some people hopefully noticed, was republican voters looking at what Trump did and said "I was wrong, this isn't what I wanted." Scott's reasoning for supporting him were genuine and just because some of the other people he supported lost, doesn't mean you can weigh everything on the ones who won.

I don't want to be up all night writing this essay, so I'll simplify it here. You can disagree with someone on politics and not hate them as a person. Target ideas, not people. Put your money where you want, and be kind to people reguardless. I know it sounds cheesy, but hey, if you only put out kindness, the world will be a little brighter.

But hey, what do I know, I'm just another person, just like Scott, or any other creator.

Have a good night everyone.

[perenial]

Been questioning my gender for a bit now. As far as labels go, I'm not sure if I'm genderqueer or non-binary. I tried looking into it but ended up with more questions than answers. Is there a difference between the two? Are they similar? If you don't know the answer that's fine, I just thought I'd ask.

funnily enough this was originally one of the primary research questions for my phd! tl;dr it's kinda. hm. well,

genderqueer is a term that starting gaining traction in the 90s and its coinage is commonly attributed to activist riki wilchins, who used it in the spring 1995 edition of the transsexual menace. wilchins wrote that,

The fight against gender oppression has been joined for centuries, perhaps millennia. What’s new today is that it’s moving into the arena at open political activism. And nope, this is not just one more civil rights struggle for one more narrowly-defined minority. It’s about all of us who are genderqueer: diesel dykes and stone butches, leatherqueens and radical fairies, nelly fags, crossdressers, intersexed, transsexuals, transvestites, transgendered, transgressively gendered, and those of us whose gender expressions are so complex they haven’t even been named yet. Maybe us genderqueers feel it most keenly because it hits us each time we walk out the front door openly and proudly.

genderqueer was, and arguably still is, a politically-oriented identity marker that denotes those whose gender is queered in some way. in a later essay, wilchins highlighted that the term genderqueer was coined as a catch-all term for trans-aligned folks who didn't fit the highly medicalised narrative that dominated mainstream trans debates. interestingly, wilchins is specifically critical in this essay of those who would one day be termed transmedicalists, writing that

[...] transgender, a voice that originated from the margins, begun to produce its own marginalized voices. And in part because – as an identity organized around “transgression” – there is a growing debate over who is “most transgressive.” How does one decide such questions? For instance, as one transexual put it, “I’m not this part-time. I can’t hang my body in the closet and pass on Monday.” There is no doubt, from one perspective, that cross-dressers enjoy some advantages. They are large in numbers, most only dress occasionally, and they can do so in the privacy of their own homes. Does that mean they would live that way if they had a choice? Does it really make them “less transgressive”?

[...] Among genderqueer youth, it is no longer rare to hear complaints of being frozen out of transgender groups because they don’t want to change their bodies. In an identity that favors transexuals, changing one’s body has become a litmus test for transgression

sometime in the late 90s/early 2000s, genderqueer evolved into its own definitive identity instead of the umbrella term it was originally created to denote. it still retained its anti-assimilationist leanings and over the next decade was used as both as a single identity category and as a gender intensifier (i.e. genderqueer man, a man who engages with his gender in a queer way). for the most part – and i emphasise, for the most part – genderqueer folks from the early 2000s-onwards tended to not identify as transgender, instead viewing genderqueer as a separate relationship to gender and its transgressions that isn't covered by the binary trans umbrella (sidenote: this is remarkably hard to find online sources on and the one reference i remember off the top of my head is in a book in my office...,which is on the other side of town...and it's currently 1:30 in the morning.... so uh. either take this with a grain of salt or imagine i've put the actual reference in lmao)

now here's where it gets tricky.

the exact origin of the term non-binary is heavily debated. if we're talking about the literal word 'nonbinary', there are definitely mentions pre-2000s in reference to software modelling and associated computer tech stuff; for its association with gender and identity, the earliest mention i've found in my research is from the mid to late 2000s (again, my sources are all back at my office). the point is, though, that at some point in the 2000s this term – which, like genderqueer, originally functioned as an umbrella term – became the most prominent identifier to denote gender outside the western binary.

(fun fact: if u look for early resources on non-binary relating to gender & sexuality but not as a discrete gender label, u'll find a lot of stuff relating to 'nonbinary sexuality' – i.e. bi & pansexuality. see elizabeth, a. (2013), 'challenging the binary: sexual identity that is not duality', journal of bisexuality, 13:3 and callis, a. (2014), 'bisexual, pansexual, queer: non-binary identities and the sexual borderlands', sexualities, 17:1-2.)

(another fun fact: the nonbinary flag was specifically created by kye rowan in 2014 because nonbinary people didn't feel completely comfortable aligning with marilyn roxie's 2010 genderqueer flag. the nonbinary flag was never meant to replace the genderqueer flag , but rather to be "flown alongside it", which makes for a rly cool parallel to nonbinary & genderqueer themselves)

non-binary is......somewhat less political than genderqueer. because its origins are so murky we can't definitively say it was coined to denote an identity less anti-assimilationist than genderqueer, but from what we do know it's generally leveraged as neutral and all-encompassing. whether 'political neutrality' and 'queerness' are diametric opposites is a contentious debate and rests on some super western ideas of the political being so without really getting into it, the thing to take away is that nonbinary differs from genderqueer in that it refers to that which it is not – it isn't male or female, man or woman, queer or normative. genderqueer, by contrast, moves towards a gendered way of being that, while also being capable of existing outside the gender binary, has a more active, directional component.

......but that's not entirely it

because u'll find people who are non-binary who consider their gender a v queer thing (like me!) and genderqueer folks who don't align their gender with any political leanings. u'll get people who identify as both nonbinary and genderqueer, or one at some point and the other at a different point, or people whose gender falls outside the binary and don't use either term. u'll get nonbinary and genderqueer people who want to medically transition, nonbinary and genderqueer people who identify as transgender, nonbinary and genderqueer people who do want to align with the transnormative narrative that riki wilchins derided back in 2002.

and u know what? that's okay! this shit is super complicated! i'm doing an entire fucking phd on it and i still don't have my head wrapped around it all!!! gender is a slippery, highly contextual thing and while my job is to identify the patterns that emerge across communities, ur only job is to find something that makes sense to u. it doesn't matter if u change ur mind about the words u use to describe urself, or if u choose to do away with them altogether; it's fine if u cycle through a whole bunch of identifiers or stick with one from the very start. what matters is this: taking the time to know urself honestly and openly, and choosing to live in whatever way that feels right.

and tbh? the more u think about gender, the more questions u'll end up with. there's never a definitive answer and that's what makes the whole thing so fun (and stressful) to explore

[midnight-fox-boy]

More About me/Views/Etc.

Hello everyone~! This post will explain more about me, my views, and anything I flnd important to add. This will be kinda long so please buckle up ;3 

General Information

Age: 19 

Gender: Demifluidflux trans guy 

Pronouns: He/him, they/them is cool too

Sexual orientations: Gay, Demisexual

Romantic orientations: Gay, Demiromantic

Alterous Orientation: Homoalterous

Other: Polyamorous

Relationship status: Taken

I love anime, video games, drawing, singing, and just browsing the web. I like to learn new topics, and explore new ideas and sciences. I want to be a therapist someday, but if it doesn’t happen, that’s chill too. I’m polyamorous currently in a monoamorous relationship. I don’t usually participate in discourse but I do have opinions/views on different topics. I am mentally ill and prefer not to be attacked. If I do something wrong or say something offensive, I don’t mean it, or I’m simply uneducated on the topic when I thought I was. I’m happy to take polite criticsm and never mean to do harm to others. So nothing I say is ill-intended. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Views on certain discourse topics

Aspec Discourse: I believe that aromantics and asexuals are inherently LGBTQ+ and should be welcomed. However, it’s up to them if they choose to identify with LGBTQ+ or not. 

Nonbinary discourse. Yes there are more than two genders. And no it doesn’t mean “Neither male or female” Nonbinary means: “Not explicitly a single binary gender” Which can mean someone can be both binary genders, one binary gender and other nonbinary genders, no binary gender, etc etc. So yes. I CAN be a guy and nonbinary. 

Xenogenders: I may not be able to comprehend it 100% But I KNOW that gender is diverse and confusing and you can label your gender however you want. Just be you! You have my support.

Nonbinary Gays/Nonbinary lesbians: YES nonbinary people can be gay or lesbian. Many of them are nonbinary women or men. Meaning they identify with womanhood/manhood no matter how that is. Maybe they have a primarily woman or man gender, maybe they’re man/woman aligned. Whatever. You do not get to dictate who is gay enough or lesbian enough :) 

(NO)MAPS: Are scum. Do not interact, do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars.If you support them then get the f**k off my blog please! I am a CSA survivor and will NOT tolerate pedophilia.

Am I a transmed/truscum? Am a tucute?: Well, no. I’m none of those. I do not believe dysphoria is required to be trans. As many studies show gender incongruence is all you need, dysphoria manifests in some trans people as a result of incongruence. Gender euphoria also exists. This is not a topic I would like to debate. However, I do believe that dysphoria or incongruence should be medicalized in SOME form in order for trans people to be able to get gender affirming treatments. (Hormones, surgeries). I would love to live in a world where those things are free regardless, however :/ (P.S. I am dysphoric)

Kink/BDSM: Well. I participate in BDSM and kink, but I do not post about it or discuss on my blog. I have spaces for that and this isn’t one of them. So no worries about running into any kinky posts on my blog. That wont happen. If it ever does, it was an accident. 

Transtrenders: I DO believe that RARELY, some cis people will pretend to be trans, not necessarily as a “trend” but to gain something in return, usually online. They may use it as an excuse to chase other trans people, or to have more “power” in a trans based argument. However, when people are accused of being trenders, they are usually not, they are just not what YOU feel gender should be. And people who fear they’re trenders? Impossible. You would know if you were faking. 

Self Diagnosis: I’m divided on this. You shouldn’t self diagnose many things. Like a heart condition, or cancer, or other extremes. But if you know you’re depressed all the time and can’t see a therapist, you probably have depression. If you haven’t been diagnosed with PTSD but experienced something trauamtic and show symptoms of PTSD, You probably have PTSD. If you were confirmed to likely have a certain mental illness but perhaps didn’t fit the “age requirements” for said diagnosis, you can probably take that as an unofficial diagnosis. As long as aren’t flaunting it to seem “cool” (and most don’t) and are using those self dx’s to find help resources online and such, you’re probably good. 

Fujoshis: Touchy topic I know. I do not agree when this word is used in specific contexts.

1) when girls think MLM relationships are “hot/sinful/sexy/dirty” , especially IRL MLM relationships, I think that’s fetishization, much like how many cishet men view WLW relationships  2) when it’s directed as a hate word towards gay trans men. I’ve been called a fujoshi for being a gay trans guy, and many of you probably have to. It’s wrong y’all. Gay trans men are gay men. Gay nonbinary men are gay men. 

Pansexual vs. Bisexual: Both are valid labels. All multisexual labels are valid. Labels are for you to feel comfortable with, and as long as you aren’t choosing one over the other due to biphobia/internilized homophobia, you’re probably good. Bisexual attracted to all genders? Valid. Pansexual with preferences? valid. Bisexual attracted to many genders? Valid. Pansexual and feeling attraction regardless of gender? Valid. Bisexual and identify the same way? Valid! 

Genital preference: Another touchy topic! The sad truth is that genitals DO matter to many people. Maybe it’s from truama, or an actual repulsion to a genital set. However, it should never EVER be used to excuse transphobia. You can not want to date a trans person who is pre-op, that’s fine, your loss not theirs. However, you cannot use that genital preference to see them as lesser, or as not “real” men/women. I personally have a preference for penises, but it’s only a preference. I would still potentially date a trans guy who is pre-op or never-op, but I prefer penises. But as I’m also gay, I likely wouldn’t date a trans woman who is pre-op/no-op. Because well, she’s a woman. So to summarize, genital preferences are OK as long as you aren’t a dick about it, or transphobic. :) 

Trans people and gender conformity: Alrighty. This is a favorite topic of mine. Do trans people owe gender conformity? Do nonbinary people OWE people androgyny? Nope. Cisgender people are gender-nonconforming all the time without dysphoria. We see butch cis women and Fem cis dudes all the time. So I say, why do trans men and women owe something different? While it is true that early in transition being GNC CAN cause dysphoria, that isn’t always the case. Early in transition I usually avoided feminine things and interests unless I was in the comfort of my home, but now I’m open to, and embrace my feminine and androgynous side. I’m in no way a woman, I just happen to enjoy some stereotypical feminine things. Many trans men do. As for nonbinary people, they can present however they want. Androgynous, feminine, masculine, fluid presentation, mixing it up, genderf**k, whatever. Their body, their choice. Sometimes you may be able to “tell” someone is nonbinary by looking at them, and that’s totally okay. There is no “looking nonbinary”. All looks on a nonbinary person are nonbinary. 

Anti/Anti-Anti?: Honestly I’m still confused in all of that stuff. Fiction CAN and HAS affected reality. That’s not to say that you can’t enjoy certain thinsg seen as “taboo” but there is a line that shouldn’t be crossed. PEDOPHILIA. You should not write, nor consume, fiction that presents a CHILD with an ADULT. It’s true that some pedophiles will write these to bring minors in and harass them. Even then, it gives stories for those sick f**ks to read. Do you REALLY want a pedophile reading your story? I guess I’m anti-ish. You can enjoy things that are otherwise problematic as long as you don’t let it affect how you treat people in the real world. Maybe you liked reading that fictional story about kidnapping and got off to it or something weird like that, as long as you aren’t trying to kidnap anyone or shit like that, I guess you do you, keep it to yourself though.

“NB” - Nonbinary or Non-black?: I went with POC voices on this. I will no longer use “NB” to mean nonbinary on my blog. You will likely just see “nonbinary” or “enby” used by me. 

Aspec, autistic spectrum or Asexual/aromantic spectrum?: I’ve seen very little evidence or claim on the side of “autistic spectrum” being the term. Many responses ive seen and sources claim it means asexual/aromantic spectrum, and has even been echoed by autistic people, a lot of them. If I see evidence suggetsing otherwise, I’m happy to change my language. I don’t want to be ableist. 

Butch/Femme, lesbian terms only?: I say no. I’ve seen a lot of articles, personal accounts, and history on the use of butch and femme. And none suggest they were terms only used by lesbians. From what I can tell, this idea seemed to be spread by “radical” lesbians and TERF’s. In history, many lesbians tried to distance themselves from all men, and encouraged non-lesbian women not to associate with men. This is obviously just a small tidbit of what they did in that time. However, I personally don’t use butch or femme, and don’t really plan to.

Specifically “weird” or crazy seeming kinks/BDSM styles: All I say is, you do you. If all parties are adults and consent to it, good on you. Just, keep it to yourself or in spaces dedicated to those things. As long as you don’t get off to ACTUAL CHILDREN, or try to bone or jerk it to an animal, you’re probably okay. Also don’t do incest, that stuff is bad. 

!!If there’s a discourse topic you’d like to see here, you can PM me or send me an ask. I’m happy to shed my opinions on stuff, but they will go here!!

[adventuresloane]

Lup, Raven Queen, Barry, Ango and totally Ren. ;) maybe sloane also! For the HC meme❤️

(for this meme)

Kat this is……SO many oh my lord. I’m gonna put most of theseunder a cut!!!  You’re a doll tho thanksfor all the asks.

Lup:

A) What I think realistically: I love the idea that,contrary to popular belief, she’s the younger twin! When they were kids, Taakowould always be the one who had to get her out of the trouble she got herselfinto. Taako’s always been a bit more pragmatic, but Lup just couldn’t standdisrespect towards her or her brother and would always address it. She stood upto people and probably bit off more than she could chew a number of times,meaning Taako had to help her out of a tight spot.

B) What is fucking hilarious to me: Lup at one point had apretty major crisis in her life because she loves to cook for people anddesperately wanted to show her affection for Barry by cooking for him, but.This man has lived off late-night hot pockets out of his laboratory microwavefor years. He doesn’t have a palette. One time she overheard him call ketchupspicy and she just kind of stared at the wall for five minutes. She spent manyan evening slaving over recipe books to try to find SOMETHING decent that thisuncultured man would actually enjoy.

C) What is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict onfriends: She’s got…a number of lingering issues after her release from theumbrella. There’s a lot of talk about how she develops claustrophobia, andwhile I think that’s certainly true, I think another thing that leaves hershaken is the utter darkness inside the staff. Before she was able to get herpowers back to create fire, the darkness in there must have been absolute andchilling. Imagine how long she lay there entirely blind and unable to make outanything. I don’t think she can sleep with the lights off anymore. She alwaysat least leaves the hall light on outside the bedroom, but even that’s notenough much of the time, and she often plays with a little fireball in herhands until she can’t keep her eyes open anymore, so that she knows there’sstill light where she is.

D) What would never work with canon but the canon is shit soI believe it anyway: Griffin says that the Legato performance was the firsttime the rest of the IPRE crew realized that Barry and Lup were in love butcome the fuck on. These guys??? They’re so incredibly obvious and crazy foreach other. Even if they didn’t tell their family explicitly EVERYONE knew forYEARS.

Raven Queen

A) Every raven in Faerun is at her beck and call. The birdshave a bit of magic to them inherently and find it easy to slip from plane toplane. She’ll dispatch them to carry messages or keep an eye on things for herand report back. She VERY rarely comes to the mortal planes, but you can alwaystell when she’s on her way. Thousands of ravens circle together tightly in thesky, their iridescent wings shining, and from the almost blinding andotherworldly shimmer a portal forms through which she comes.

B) Has motherly instincts towards Kravitz but no concept ofwhat being a parent to a former mortal actually entails. At what age does onestop picking up mortal children? 35? Her idea of mother-son bonding is enactinga blood oath. She’s trying her best.

C) Kravitz became her “ward” of sorts when he begged andprayed to her for months on end to spare his sick mother and take his lifeinstead—he made a brave trade and she respected him for it, hence his positionas a reaper.

D) She grants Magnus a “limited” amount of extra time livinghappily with Julia in the afterlife but honestly do you think she’ll ever makethem stop living in that little cabin? Heck, do you really think she’s going tokeep their friends from leaving the sea of souls to visit them whenever???She’s willing to turn a blind eye to their little party for the rest ofeternity.

Barry

A) He is just……so visibly huggable tbh. You look at him andyou’re like, “That’s a man who’d be good to just hug for a little while. Chubbysoft belly. Just a teddy bear of a man.

B) The boy is a classic academic research scientist, whichis to say a damn mess. He’ll periodically crop his hair short but then won’tbother to get it cut again for months on end because he’s too busy, so it growsout all wild and looks a mess. He has one (1) mug he keeps on his desk and likenever washes because it’s always filled with coffee anyway. Shows up to work ina stained T-shirt because it’s not like anyone’s paying attention to him whenhe’s locked up in his lab all day anyway. Grody science man.

C) Next to Taako, he’s the one who takes the longest toforgive Lucretia, and I sort of think he never completely gets over what shedid. Unlike everyone else in the IPRE crew, he was deliberately isolated fromthe rest of his family AND HE WAS AWARE OF IT. That’s fucked up, and he learnedto hate Lucretia for awhile, and that’s not the kind of thing that can beerased as soon as Story & Song is over. He can barely look her in the eyefor awhile.

D) He does NOT have a mullet do not to my boy dirty likethis.

Angus

A) All this debate over Magnus or Taako or Lucretia orwhoever the fuck adopts Angus post-S&S? Screw that noise. It’s not like anyof the adult figures in his life AREN’T walking disasters as individuals—it’sonly together that they’re sort of capable of functioning. That’s why he haslike twenty parents and splits his time between like five different houses,inside each of which he has his own room and where he is welcome at all hoursof the day and night. That kid is living the dream.

B) Absolutely drops f-bombs on purpose knowing that it willscandalize the adults he talks to. This boy is a delight and has never doneanything wrong but he is NOT the innocent little one everyone thinks! Sneakyboy!

C) Gotta be honest, I don’t have the heart to actuallyimagine Angus having any suffering inflicted upon him, BUT I do like the ideaof Taako being lowkey terrified every time he goes off on his own/tries toconduct an investigation that has a chance of being dangerous. He tries not toshow it and definitely plays it cool when Angus comes back safe every time, buthe’s got so very few people he feels really connected to and he doesn’t want tolose one of them (again).

D) Controversial, but he remains a shrimpy nerdboy foreverand does not get to be buffer than Magnus sorry.

Ren

A) Hot take: she’s a soft butch. My evidence? I know a bunchof butches named Ren and also she just gives off those Lesbian Vibes. Butch Ren2k19.

B) She is…small. Just so short, even by the standards ofelves, which are on average smaller than humans. It might be partly because she’sa Drow, since I personally headcanon that they don’t grow quite as big, buteven then she’s just. A little creacher. She has to use a spoon to knock downthings from shelves that everyone else in the tavern can easily reach. Cassidyjokingly uses her head as an armrest.

C) Her family is definitely still around and definitely wereoutside of Refuge when the barrier was created around the town and they justhad no way whatsoever of contacting her. They aged while time didn’t touch her.

D) This is more in opposition to D&D lore than to theTAZ canon, but I personally don’t like to think that Ren ever faced anyprejudice for being a dark elf. The whole idea of the Drow being cursed and 99%of them being evil is, imo, very tired (not to mention racist), so I just don’twant that being a part of her story. I think maybe Underdark elves have a bitof a reputation in the surface realms for being kind of staid and dour, so inthat way Ren defies some conventions by being her bubbly self. But aside fromthat, she never had an issue with anyone thinking less of her or hating her forbeing a Drow.

And fuck it, I know I did Sloane already but I have gothbirb headcanons coming out of my ass so I’ll do her again.

A) Tbh I like to think that her alias is something she put alot of thought into and something she identifies really strongly with. Like,ravens are obviously just objectively cool and fit the goth aesthetic she’sgoing for, but also I think growing up in Goldcliff (which I picture as beingjust like the American Southwest) she had a lot of experience observing themand felt kind of a kinship with them (and probably fed them to get them tofollow her around tbh). In some folklore, ravens are considered shapeshifterson account of how the sun reflects off their wings and makes them look likethey’re changing shape. I think that by assuming the persona of the Raven, shebecomes something more than what she appears to be, and it’s a bit of escapismfor her. (Also, ravens are known to be family-oriented and mate for life sothat proves fitting later on…)

B) It kinda breaks my heart whenever people draw her (orhalf-elves in general) with shorter/smaller ears than full-blooded elves,because in my head hers are long and twitchy! She’s pretty good at hiding howshe feels and not giving away too much with her body language, so her ears don’tnecessarily move around a ton to express how she’s feeling, but they doinvoluntarily react to sound, e.g. perking up when she hears a sudden noise.Hurley finds this adorable and exploits it to no end—like snapping her fingersnext to one of Sloane’s ears and then the other to make them pique alternatelyuntil Sloane finally gets fed up.

C) This is kind of more of a headcanon for half-elves ingeneral, but I remember seeing a post awhile back that said something along thelines of “D&D cryptid: a half-elf with a good relationship with theirfamily.” It was funny, but it did get me thinking: what’s a good narrativejustification for this? One of the answers, I think, is that half-elves grow ata rate that must be completely bewildering for their elven parents. They reachmaturity at around 20, compared to a full-blooded elf becoming an adult ataround 100. There’s probably a lot of potential for friction there as elvenparents are unable to handle or understand their kids as they mature soquickly. Plus, most half-elves don’t outlive their elf parents, and knowing you’remore than likely going to bury your kid one day has got to be hard. I think allof this was sort of the situation for Sloane growing up, and it was the sourceof a lot of the isolation she felt as a child.

D) She has big biker energy and actually prefers motorcyclesto battlewagons and that’s the tea.

LAWD this was a lot. Hope you like them!!!

[thequeerme-blog1]

Andro? Femme? Butch?

The one about pigeon-holing in the Queer community.

According to the Cambridge dictionary a label is a piece of paper or other material that gives you info about the object it is attached to.

We all wear invisible labels all the time. What if they were real though? As in letters stamped on our wrists. Instead of being a UK 12, you’d have an A (for Andro), F (Femme), B (Butch), D (Dyke), SL (Sporty Lesbian), G (Geek)… Watch out Charlie Brooker, I see a Queer Mirror here!

Some people might think that a few we have pretty obvious ones, like wearing a wristband I must say; although others have semi-hidden labels on their neck, and some invisible ones at their back. I label, you label, they label. Active voice. I am labelled, you are labelled, they are labelled. Passive. Getting the grammar now, right?

I’m not having a Black Mirror vision or giving a grammar lesson though. I’ve just felt the urge to write about pigeonholing as since I’m single the question I’m asked the most is… WHAT-IS-YOUR-TYPE?, believe me I’ve heard it way more times than ARE-YOU-SPANISH? (which is worrying as I could be Sofia Vergara’s second cousin, sometimes my own close friends don’t get me).

What is surprising is that when I came out in London, as a femme, my lesbian mates would just assume that I was into masculine (or less feminine) types. They, obviously, would change their mind when getting to know my personality. Again, Chet Faker sings talk is cheap… and it is free, I’d add. We talk too much a listen too little!

Tell me how’s your haircut that I’ll tell you who you gotta fancy!

A few weeks ago, however, I had an interesting and yet short chat (blame the DJ!) with someone who defended labels as a way to introduce yourself to the world (hetero-normative world, especially). I am vegan, I am a lesbian, I am a designer, I am a cyclist, I am a dancer, I am a socialite, I am a geek, and so on… Sounds about right. Labels make us feel secure. It’s like the skills you’d highlight in a cover letter when applying for a job. I have sound understanding of Final Cut, I am bilingual, I am enthusiastic. You make people realise who you are and what you want. Hence, what they can expect from you. In my personal-slash-love life, it saves me a lot of time with guys. I don’t like being hit on by lads. Sorry (not sorry) to be blunt but I had to put up with it for years; and no, it’s not arrogance, it was annoyance. You don’t need to be hot, beautiful and young; with two boobs and a pussy you’re likeable/hittable enough (against your will). Nowadays, however, I must say they rarely harass me. I guess it’s not acceptable just yet for lads to be into andro-girls.

Back in late spring, I had a similar debate with a (now) good friend of mine, although applied to the Queer community. It was an epic convo on a night bus, more entertained than watching the US elections. I obviously like questioning everything, starting by myself, plus pushing boundaries to make people/myself think. Today I kinda get her point and must admit she’s one of the few lesbians l’ve known who’s truly labels-free and independent. She really falls for the gay person, aside from her look, role, tag, etc.

The real issue is not to label yourself but to label others and, therefore, patronise, judge and assume their behaviours/interactions. You can call yourself andro, as I definitely do again and again, I’m free to do so if that’s what I identify with. Although it does not imply I follow the andro user guide.

Shouldn’t a queer community be more open-minded and less judgemental? However, we stereotype each other and proclaim what we are/aren’t allowed to do/feel/think. You are ANDRO (stamp!). You are FEMME (stamp!). You two pair together.

Hello Andro. Hello Femme. Welcome to your new homo-normative world! Please help yourselves to some hetero-types available for you in that box. They are ordered by topics. What are your roles in bed is one of the hottest and most consulted. It’ll be quite useful in your relationship from now on. After a read, feel free to practise with this strap-on that you Andro will always use and you Femme never (presumably). It doesn’t matter what your likes are, this is how we function here. It’s time for you to play now. Femme always remember you ought to wait, whereas Andro you do all the manual labours. Enjoy your new life!

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Queer Mirror.

Hence, you can guess who’s the most invisible, forgotten and even ignored character, gay girls with feminine/straight looks. Whilst listening to a few, I came to the conclusion that, after the suffered bisexual woman, the less understood, respected, listened to, is the feminine lesbian. They/we talk about them as if they were the woman (took from the patriarchy), the weak, emotional and sweet one, the princess waiting to be picked from the self by the andro king. Again, not everyone thinks/acts like that, however I’ve heard enough comments and seen sufficient interactions. And thank Whoever that I’m surrounded by those feminine ones who don’t give a shit and are as strong, blunt, diverse, logical, funny, active as I am (or as I am supposed to be!).

Let’s stop judging and pigeon-holing the other queer types. As in the end, we’re just repeating archaic, toxic, damaging, narrow-minded behaviours picked from our straight-fellows. Hence, let us live, love and laugh as free as we are and as queer as we pray.

Don’t do types, do star signs! (sing and repeat)

[irony on]

From now on, will just ask hey, what’s your star sign? Kids, you can try this experiment next time you go out. Although bear in mind you’ll become addicted to the Broadly daily horoscope.

Lately I don’t hang out with femmes, butches, andros, dykes anymore, I’m more into centaurs, sheep, lions, scorpions… It’s way more fun and purely scientific. Don’t believe me?

How come then, that I always have a crush-slash-adventure with Geminis? Or that myself obsessively attracts Taurus?

Why I normally hate-love Cancers and Virgos and I are best buds? Capricorns though… I’ve just known two. One turned me on a lot, the other is my new deep friend. No clue.

Last but not least, isn’t it coincidental that with Scorpios I always have an X-files relationship and that I normally fall in love with Aries?

Do the Zodiac, 12 new labels for you to use! Isn’t it excited? 👌😏

See you next month, dear Sag!

[irony off]