#and I’m only a lil less than 2/3 of the way thru…

[what-even-is-sleep]

Matching with the Focusmate ppl in Vienna 😭

[thedevilliers]

this is less a tutorial and more a semi in-depth explanation on my process while taking screenies. my do’s and don’ts about lightning, angles, text/dialogue, close-ups and other!

as a disclaimer, anyone is free to take their screenies however they want and this is just my personal preference and opinions ♡ everything is under the cut! i did say its LONG so dont say i didnt warn u 😳

i use the nobluv2 and noglo mods by luumia! i recommend them 100000%

1. lightning

with its exceptions, this being i’m in a room with candles/chandelier/anything that doesnt naturally produce a white light OR ambiance reasons, my setting with screenies is with the ‘Neutral White’ color. this is for me, more visually appealing than just bathing your sim in yellow light.

EXAMPLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

warmer white:

poor lit:

good <3:

i usually test my lightning before i actually take any screenies so my sim is well-lit but also preventing overexposure bc of the lighting. an example of overexposure is when for example the lighting is SO strong, your sim looks like its ‘shining’

you can see it here on her chest highlights, her arm and her cheeks. i exaggerated it here so its more obvious. fixing overexposure is HARDER than upping the brightness in a poor-lit screenshot. overexposure and makin sims look like they are SHINING is a crime. JAIL

the best light ever tbh. just dont get... to carried away

1.2 outdoor lightning

this is one a bit trickier depending on your location but USUALLY your screenies would look well dark. again, test lightning before actually shooting screenies! i generally look for a lamp posts that have good lightning and shrink them down so if im taking angled shots, it doesnt get in the way. change the color to neutral white and if its too much lightning, just lower the dimmer:

2. just no

just no to all this:

in general, you can ZOOM to the max, and with the scroll-wheel zoom out THREE TIMES. four times we on the edge but its still acceptable. five times and you are goin to JAIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

in general i also recommend having a semi-big room so you can move around without any problems. small rooms DO work but chances are while moving around you’re either going to go outside the room, run into a plant in the shot or into another decor item.

for example, this is a ‘small’ room. while taking photos i have run into the bookshelves for over the shoulder shots like 8000 times. still, doable, but why put myself thru the suffering>?????

2.2 fill the room

nothin sadder than, for example, doing a bedroom scene and there just being...a bed. the game comes with so much clutter and theres also a lot of clutter cc to make rooms seem more ‘lived in’. its also a lot more visually appealing than the room being empty.

3. angles for screenies

my controversial OPINION!!!! i dont care for FULL surroundings shots for more than for a singular panel. THERE I SAID IT!!! usually i show the surroundings/scene setting in ONE panel and then i move on to other angles. again, has exceptions. these being a banquet, party, ball, another sim joins the scene, montages, etc! ANYWHERE that has something happening with multiple people in general.

for example, i don’t see why repeat the same angle with different poses. i can do it for one panel, but for the next ones? there’s the option of over the shoulder shots,  detail shots, them looking at each other shots, cinammon tography shots........... more than likely your reader already has an idea of where your characters are so showing it in every single panel is not necessary.

always try and leave a lil breathin room for the heads on top so it isnt all CRAMPED! but this all depends on the pose, if theres a height difference included in said poses and the angle you are taking the screenshot from!

same thing about not just doing...full on surrounding shots for when something is HAPPENING. say, someone is fainting, collapsing...ANYTHIN!! theres so many shot options than just repeating the same angle over and over again. DONT BE SHY!!!! DO VARIETY !!!

we in photography class now. BUT yes keep these in mind ALSO while taking photos so it isnt just the same angle, same distance just different pose. your sim has a nice outfit? showing it once is enough! every panel? ummmm......... your sim is crying?  do a medium close up/medium shot and not a full body shot!

3.1 close ups

your close ups and ALL screenies in general, don’t have to be FRONTAL only. they can be right/left side, a lil angled...

waist/chest level is a good level for a close-up sim wise since if you ZOOM in too much WELL

4. text/dialogue

i’d recommend any SANS-SERIF fonts. serif fonts are so hard to read even if nice looking. usually a font-size of over 40px+ works and you can add outside stroke and even drop shadow!

i personally use calibri (bold italic) for my screenies, but other subtitle fonts like arial, myriad pro, helvetica...really any sans-serif ones work.

my stroke settings:

i also wouldn’t recommend putting 4000 word paragraphs in ONE screenie because it’s just visually exhausting. the MAXIMUM i’d do and thats if ABSOLUTELY necessary is FOUR!!!! lines of text. id keep it to three ONLY and thats if your text is the same size as mine. if bigger then two 😳

yes <3:

another no-no for readability is INSIDE stroke or adding bevel/emboss to the text. pick bright, contrasting colors to the background or even clothes your characters are wearing so it’s not hard to read.

something a lil extra i also recommend is if your dialogue has different sentences and one ends and another one starts in the same line, continue it on another line. DOES THIS MAKE SENSE ok lets see:

the “Yes, maybe I went on [...]” continues on the first line, but to make it a bit easier to read just press enter and move it to the second line so it’s on it’s own line.

same thing for the "Be nice or [...]” line! it gets cut off to the third line anyways, so just put it in a singular line. final result:

for me, this is easier to read, less I GUESS ‘immersion breaking’  and easier on the eyes too.

and just other quick things to keep in mind:

will the post be horizontal or vertical? if its vertical, you have to angle and move the camera around keeping in mind you’re going to crop it later. yes, the scenary might be nice if its horizontal, but a lil vertical photo is cute!

best times for OUTDOOR lightning photos are 2pm-4pm. morning light is a bit too dark, 12 pm is the slightest too bright, but 2pm-4pm is just ENOUGH!!!

and thats all : ) i THINK i talked about most things screenies wise??? if you have questions, my askbox is always open : ) and remember these are just my opinions : )

[xnchxntmxnt]

ABSJSAJAJ HELLO HAPPY ONE YR ?!??! ( almost, bUT LIKE YEHA )

i'm bringing ... a date !!! its . xiao yk

outfits below ! left myself & right xiao !!

we'd match . bcz i said so JSHJ

uhuh ! i think the relationship'd be described rlly well if i used the word . adoration but in a sappy way yk ? tiny glances shared across a room w a teeny lil smiley when we think of each other, looking away when embarrassed but sneaking a little glance at each other, dragging the other thru the city hand in hand ( like grasping only a few fingers bc thats all u can wrap ur hands around, yk ?? also awkwardness but like sjSJSJ ) when we're excited, leaning on eachother's backs when we're bored / on our phones ,, stuff like that SJSJSJ .

i think u know my personality relatively well ?! yk me , resident venti kinnie , super energetic, always fucking around . super affectionate + childish , yk ! the usual ! but i think at the party we'd b super !! uh !! if there's a food court i'd b all up in there JSJS ,, xiao'd take a little, i'd b putting food on his plate like " no. eat. " LIKE YKW I MEAN JAJSJ . i'd probably b the type to sling my arm over his shoulder just bcz i wanna embarrass him . lean my head on his shoulder while we're talking to other people while fiddling w the collar of his shirt. i like to think we can dance but its SUPER uncoordinated JSJS so we'll kinda be waddling around , more just hanging out on the dance floor rather than dancing . totally the types to sit on the floor cross-legged like the children we are when we're tired, ( he'd probably want to , but'd only do it if i dragged him down JSJS ) , and uh . theres never gonna be both of us sitting down like. ever . its always one of us that has to stand if we're supposed to b sitting on chairs . if its the floor ? forget it we'll both sit bUT ITS SMT ABT THE CHAIRS BRO ??? ew

okay . songs . stargazing, neighbourhood + despair, leo + narcissist, no rome ! i tHINK THATS ABT IT SJSJSJ !?!??! LEMME KNO IF I NEED 2 ADD ANYTHING ELSE ?? congratulations on one yr again :0 wowoweee before u kno it u'll be at 2 yrs !

oooh I’ve never written xiao before this makes me nervous but in a good way <3 also thank you for all the well wishes <333 this is a little different than the format I was doing with these but it makes sense in context I swear

xiao leaned back against the cool wall of the large ballroom, taking a sip of his drink. he watched you on the dance floor, spinning and laughing with venti. he loved that you were having fun, but being in the center of the room was not his idea of fun at all.

as much as he liked venti, he had to admit, he didn’t love that you were having so much fun with him. he knew you were friends and that was all you’d ever be. he knew that. and he kept reminding himself of that. the more he watched you, however, the more irritated he looked.

“you look like you want to pop venti’s head like a dandelion,” elliot chuckled, nudging his arm. “i’m sure you don’t want to hear anything i have to say about that, though.”

“you’d be correct.”

“you’re gonna hear it anyway.”

“of course i am.”

they chuckled. “tor’s just having fun with their friend. you know venti and he knows how much you love them. plus, i’m pretty sure he’s interested in someone else here tonight.”

“who’s that?”

“not the point. point is, you don’t have to be jealous just because they’re out there. venti just likes dancing. i was out with several friends tonight, doesn’t mean i like my boyfriend any less.”

“stop being right, it’s annoying.”

“did xiao of all people just admit i was right?”

he rolled his eyes. they were right, of course, and it shouldn’t matter that much to him. tori just…meant that much to him. and maybe he was a little bit of a jealous type. it made him feel a little better when he saw tori wave to him from the dance floor when they saw him.

“and hey,” elliot continued. “i know you’re not a dancer, but it’s fun to vibe with your friends. you could always go out there and join them.”

“now that’s a little too far,” he said, no real heat behind his words. they scoffed, clapped his shoulder, and walked off.

he wasn’t exactly good at dancing, that much was for sure. but he could try later. especially because he knew it would make tori happy.

𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞...

mine - the 1975

[magniloquent-raven]

Fic Writer Questions

i was tagged by @cherry-toxic and @gideongrace ty both 💕🥰💕

How many works do you have on AO3?

15

which is a relatively small number but sometimes im still like, holy shit i finished 15 whole fics lmao

What's your total AO3 word count?

68,299 (time to post a 701 word fic and then never post again i guess)

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

well this is about to get mildly embarrassing lmfao. ive only got harry potter & stranger things fics on my ao3 and tumblr but if you want a full list, as a teenager i posted a shitty borderlands self-insert fic on quizilla, and hiccup/jack frost fic on ff.net.

and if u count fics that never got finished or published anywhere i dabbled in teen wolf, supernatural, dragon age, star wars, left 4 dead 2, skyrim, good omens, the mcu, buffy, wynonna earp, plus like, general disney/dreamworks crossover fic. and i started writing shameless fics recently, we'll see if i actually finish any. aaaand...i think that's it?

so...15?

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. Wait for you, Burn for You

2. Find Our Way

3. Something to Hold

4. Room for One More Troubled Soul

5. Don't Know What I'm Gonna Do (About This Feeling Inside)

all harringrove fics except #4, which is probably only on the list because it's been on ao3 the longest lol

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

oh god, i used to. i did when i was starting out, but then i just. i get self-conscious about what to actually say & leave shit to sit for too long. and suddenly ive got like 100 comments i havent replied to and i want to respond to them so bad but ive left them so long i feel weird about it now and it's a problem 😥

i want to start responding to them again, and every time i get a new one i tell myself im gonna but i never do cuz im fuckin awkward lmao

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

i......don't really do angsty endings. like, most of my fics end with smooches and/or love confessions lmao, i don't like leaving things off sad, even if it starts depressing as hell.

maybe this one? it still ends soft but without resolving the thing billy was angsting about, so.

Do you write crossovers? If so what's the craziest one you've ever written?

hahahhha.............i don't really do them anymore, but i already said i was into the whole animation movie crossover thing, so. yeah, i did lol. it was when i was in high school so of course i did one that was like, every disney character ever and they're going to school together. which really isn't that crazy a concept, but it was a lot of movies to write in so maybe that counts

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

nahh, not rly. i don't get around enough to attract anti attention lol, tho i did get one of those "👎" comments when someone was going around doing that, which lbr, is so low effort it barely counts 😂

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

yea sometimes. i do get the occasional horny idea lmao. mostly "what if touch-starved character + tenderness" or someone having lots of feelings while they're fucking. someone is usually billy lbr. i've also got a couple "what if someone got tied up and treated right" ideas but i don't think i've actually published any of those lmao

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

don't think so?

Have you ever had a fic translated?

i have not

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

yea, kinda! a collab with a friend of mine for fun

What's your all time favourite ship?

i...don't know? i get emotionally invested in characters more than the relationships themselves lol. i don't even know what ship i've been invested in for a long time, most of the shit i shipped as a kid i don't give a fuck about anymore lol.

except fuffy, actually. i've always shipped buffy/faith

and if we wanna go with fandom i've actively stuck with the longest it'd be harringrove. cuz ive been here and writing shit for yall for over a year now when i usually would've cycled thru a couple fixations by now lol

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

that's a mean question lmao how dare you. i honestly don't know, i have a lot of wips and i want to finish all of them. i know i won't but there isn't one specifically that seems less likely than the others so idk

What are your writing strengths?

uhhhhh.....i mean i've been told that my characterization is good? like, ppl being able to picture the actual characters when they're reading n stuff, so that's nice. and i could write introspection forever, u don't even know man, i get in the zone. i love getting in a character's head and picking apart their emotional state

What are your writing weaknesses?

writing dialogue really trips me up because i get picky about word choice lmao. i can be writing uninterrupted for twenty minutes cuz it's all a character's inner monologue but the second they gotta speak out loud im sittin there like ok what words sound natural and how much would they be willing to say etc. etc. suddenly it's an hour later and i've written three lines of dialogue. plus i tend to edit as i go so i'm always stopping and going back and rewriting stuff instead of just finishing the damn story

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

no thoughts head empty

lmao for real tho idk? i mean there's that one trope, when someone says nice stuff in a language the other person doesn't speak because they're pining and not sure if they're allowed to say it outright, that shit's cute. im sure all the google translated dialogue has been annoyin as shit for native speakers lmfao but yeah

What was the first fandom you ever wrote for?

probably harry potter but i literally have no idea. i started writing fic in my early teens and that time of my life is a big fuckin blur lmao

What's your favourite fic you've written?

ngl i think my fav fic is one of the multi-chapter wips i haven't published lmao

BUT. if i gotta pick something yall have read, this one. just a lil guy. plant dad billy and domesticity. it's cute and i like it. maybe also this fic that i wrote for valentine's day. i wrote basically the whole thing in one day and i was really proud of myself lmao, and i just really like headcanoning backstory for billy & that fic is rly just about him growing up, so

tagging @rvspberryjvm @wingedbears @paperbodiesamongthestars @platypan

if yall wanna! 💕

[uniquecreations]

Workplace Lover Pt. 3

This story is the final part from Workplace Lover part 1 & part 2. 

 It had been a few months since I last hung out with Ron outside of work, things between Alton and I had basically died after our last conversation. We were cordial while we were at work and only spoke outside of work when it was work related. Ron was in the process of getting a new job and that was a bit bittersweet because other than us not hanging out as much now then I wouldn’t have anyone to help me get thru those tough days at work. He would always tell me that nothing would change between us, but I knew it would change because with his new job, I knew that he wouldn’t have as much of free time to hang out.

  We were working at a local store on Ron’s last day and I wanted to hurry up and end early because I had set up a lil going away office party for him. Things were going great until Alton decided that he wanted to be petty and fuck up everything he was counting. It was becoming very annoying because I knew he was doing this shit on purpose. After another 20 mins of recounting I finally told him to leave because he was no use to me at that moment. I should have known that would cause a problem between us later, but I would deal with that when it came. Eventually, we got thru the rest of the counts and made our way back to the office for the party. Of course, my workday wasn’t over just yet because I had to close out the store we counted, that caused a problem with Ron. He cussed me out more times than a little bit until I gave in and decided to finish the work when I got home that night.

  The party was not all that great at first, everyone was being a bit uptight because we were still on company property. All that went out the window when Doris came in with a few gallons of Daiquiri's, things began to loosen up and then it became a real party. Music was blasting, food was served, and everyone dancing and having a good time while we had the opportunity. While I was talking with some of our coworkers, I felt a tap on my shoulder and when I turned around it was Alton standing there looking at me like he wanted to fight.

  “I need to talk to you about something.” He said to me just above a whisper.

  “Ok but if you about to start some shit then you can save your breath because I’m not about to deal with this bullshit right now.” I said looking him directly in his eyes. We walked down the shopping center where our office was in, once we were away from the crowd, we stopped, and the silence was starting to annoy me. “So, what you wanna talk about Alton?”

  “About this thing between us and how I felt played you sent me home today for no reason at all.”

  “Are you serious right now dude, you know exactly why I sent you home, it was because you were purposely fucking shit up because you knew what we were doing today for Ron. Now as far as this thing between us goes……… it should have been clear to you by now but in case it isn’t then let me be clear. The most we can ever be is coworkers, nothing more, nothing less, you have a lot of issues that I’m not willing to deal with from a nigga I’m dating or in a relationship with. Your jealousy is a tad bit scary and I have been down that road before and I can’t afford to do it again.”

  “So, you are saying that because I was a little overprotective of you, it was mistaken for jealousy?”

  “It’s a major difference between protecting and jealousy, what you were showing me, and your actions was not protecting me at all, it was all jealousy. That’s just the beginning tho because you also have very controlling ways as well and in case you haven’t figured it out, I’m not a puppy or some other form of animal that you say sit or stay and I obey your command Alton.”

  “Man, you are tripping for real now with all these lies and shit you spitting out yo mouth, you know good and damn well I’m none of those things.” He said squinting his eyes at me.

  “If you say so but you and I can be nothing past coworkers, I would say we can be friends, but we saw where that lead us and now are we done here because I have a party to get to?”

  “I guess dude, but I still feel you dead wrong for telling lies about me.”

  “Alton, nothing I said was a lie you know it and I do as well.” I said trying to walk away but he stopped me by grabbing my arm. “Alton…... don’t put your hands on me.” I said jerking my arm away from him.

  “My bad Jaye but you always walking off from me when I’m trying to get to the bottom of things between us.”

  “The thing about that is this……. Yes, what we had was fun but it’s over now because you can’t get a grip on your jealousy and wannabe controlling ways. All that came after I told you about some of the things I went thru. That was the thing that made me conclude that we are not meant to be together and that’s the part you not seeing.”

  “How about we start over and go back to the beginning?” He asked touching my arm.

   “How about not……... I’m not trying to go there with anyone right now, I have to much going on so thanks but no thanks.” I said and turned around, walked off, and resumed the party that was going on.

About 4 months had passed since the going away party and since I last heard from Alton, I still talked to Ron almost every other day and made plans that we almost never kept. The weekend before my birthday I wanted to go out and do something I didn’t do since I was a little boy and that was fish. I asked Ron to come but he told me he had to work so I just invited a few of my cousins instead. I made it to the spot where we were supposed to be meeting up at, I was a bit surprised that I was the only one that made it early because I was usually the one that was late. I sat in the car for about 10 mins before I saw another car pulling up, when it got near me, I saw that it was my cousin.

  “About damn time you showed up; I was starting to think nobody was going to come.” I said to her once we got out our cars.

  “Shut up I had a long night……. Don’t ask.”

  “I guess but let’s get started so I can collect on that bet.” I said laughing.

  “I don’t know why you would want to bet me knowing I’m going to crush yo ass on catching these fish.”

  “I hear ya but make sure you have my funds bitch.” I said laughing as we got our stuff set up for the day.

   Half the morning went by and we were what and what with the amount of fish we caught. I was reeling in the last fish I caught when I heard another car coming from behind us. I didn’t bother looking back because I knew it was probably the other cousin that was supposed to be here hours ago. I went to put my fish in the cooler and looked back to see the car that pulled in wasn’t my cousin, it was Ron. He walked up to where we were and looked at us like we were crazy.

  “I thought you had to work with yo lying ass.” I said throwing a piece of ice at him out the cooler.

  “I know you aint just throw that nasty ass ice on me……… and I did have to work but I left early so I could come out to this raggedy ass place.” He said sitting in my chair.

  “Well shouldn’t I feel lucky that you actually made time for your friend.” I said rolling my eyes.

  “You should bastard, I didn’t have to waste my gas and since we are talking about that, wasn’t it you the one cancelled on me the last few times?”

  “You fucking liar.” I said and he burst out laughing.

  “I swear if I didn’t know any better……. I would swear yall were an old married couple as much as yall be into it.” My cousin said reeling in another fish.

  “Because he is an asshole.” I said throwing my reel back out into the water, once my reel was secure in the water, I attempted to sit down but instead I hit the ground hard. “You are such a bitch bruh.” I said looking at them both laughing.

  “That’s what yo ass get for talking shit.” We stayed out for a few more hours before my cousin conceded defeat, paid me the bet and left to go home. I was packing up my things with Ron when he pulled me into a headlock. “What else you want to do today punk?” He asked while I was still in the headlock.

  “I might be going to jail if yo dumbass don’t let me go.” I said pinching him in the side. “But I don’t have anything planned but going give these fish to one of my uncles and then go home.”

  “Boring ass, let’s go out and get fucked up bruh.” He said.

  “Ok but I’m not driving and also you know you have to get permission from your boo first.” I said laughing.

  “You do know I’m a grown ass man, right? Plus, we not on good terms right now anyway.” He said shaking his head.

  “Being sprung have nothing to do with being grown it just mean you forgot how to be a man, and when are yall on good terms?” I said while getting in my car.

  “Nah that’s your territory messing with them lame ass niggas but I’ma be over at 8 so be ready.” He said mushing my head.

  “Put yo hands on me again and I’ma tase yo ass bitch.”

  We both left from where we were, I went to go get rid of the fish we caught but got held up talking to my uncle as per usual. When I looked at the time it was approaching 5 o’clock and I still haven’t made it home yet. I finally reached my house after about 5:30, I still needed to take a shower and pick out some clothes for tonight. After taking a shower, I wrapped the towel around my waist and walked to my closet to find something to wear. I picked out my clothes and went laid across the bed, I didn’t plan on going to sleep but my body had a different agenda than I did. I was woken up by someone banging on my door like they had lost they damn mind. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out who it was because it was only one person, I know who would do stupid shit like that.

  “I swear you act like you aint got the sense God gave a mule.” I said swinging the door open and looking at Ron.

  “And I’m sick of yo ass always late for every damn thing and why the hell you don’t have on clothes Jaye?” He said looking at me and shaking his head.

  “Because I dozed off after I showered, but it won’t take long for me to get dressed.” I said walking back to my room.

  “You say that shit all the time and it still take you over an hour……. Hurry up.” He said throwing a pillow off the couch at me.

  “Shut the fuck up, and I told you about coming over here fucking up my house.” I went into the room and begin looking at the outfit I chose to wear. I decided to change it up a little but nothing to major, I grabbed my phone and started playing music to get me in the mood for the night. I put on my playlist and began getting dressed, no sooner than I slid on my underwear, I heard Ron in the living room talking loud ass hell. I paid him no mind because his girlfriend always found a way to make him feel guilty about having fun or doing things without her. I looked down and realized that I was ashy as hell, I grabbed my lotion and began putting it on.

  “Did anyone ever tell you that you got a girl booty?” Ron said from behind me.

  “If you don’t get the fuck outta my room talking bout nonsense.” I said trying to cover myself up.

  “You need to hurry up because I most definitely need a drink now.”

  “Go look in the cabinet…… I think I have something in there you can drink……... I know how you get stressed when she grabs you by the balls.” I said laughing.

  “You always running yo gums about shit you don’t know what you’re talking about.” He said irritated, I looked back at him and could see the frustration on his face.

  “Aww I’m sorry sweetheart you want a hug.” I said holding my arms open, he laughed and shook his head.

  “You not about to touch me while you half naked, now get dressed and let’s go.” He said about to walk out my room.

  “Don’t hate cause I look better than yo bitch, now get out.” I said pushing him out my room, the next thing I knew, I felt a sharp sting on my right ass cheek where this nigga had slapped it. “You are a fucking bitch, I swear I’ma shoot you in the mouth.” I said rubbing my aching ass.

  “I got something for a mouth but it aint no bullet.” He said before walking out my room.

  After me getting dressed and taking the shots he fixed us, we got in the car and headed out. We were laughing and talking the entire ride to the bar, I was beginning to feel those drinks he made us that we drank before we left out. His phone kept going off interrupting almost every song that was playing thru his stereo, after about the tenth time, I was starting to get frustrated.

  “Either you check it or put the fucker on airplane mode because this shit is annoying the hell out of me.” I said looking at him.

  “That aint nobody but Jakayla, I told you we into right now, but I may have downplayed it a little.” He said.

  “You wanna talk about it or not?”

  “I will tell you later right now I wanna have fun and ignore that dumb shit.” He said as we pulled into the bar parking lot.

  “I swear you do that shit all the time, like we haven’t been friends for a damn good while now.”

  “Boy if you don’t chill yo overly sensitive ass out with all that……… I’ma talk to you about it but I’ma tell you when I’m ready.” He said laughing. I looked at him, popped him upside the head and got out the car before he could hit me back. Once we made it in the club, the first thing I wanted to do was go to the bar. Ron came to the side of me and nodded towards a group of people. Upon further inspection, it was most of my team from work.

  I couldn’t tell you how many drinks I had or where they were coming from but, I was having the most fun I had in years. I looked across the dance floor and saw Ron dancing with some girl, I looked in another direction and saw his girlfriend walking thru the door. I knew this was about to turn out bad, so I broke away from the group and tried to get to Ron before she saw him. When I reached him, I leaned in and whispered in his ear that his girl just walked in.

  “I know.” He said winking at me and going back to dancing with the chick. I smirked and went back across the club to the group. I didn’t know what he was planning nor did I care at that point. I went back to dancing with my friends when someone came up behind me and tapped me on the ass. I looked back and it was Jakayla- Ron’s girlfriend.

  “Hey baby…… Happy Birthday!!!!!!!” She said hugging me.

“Hey, thank you, I didn’t know you were coming.” I said smiling at her.

  “It’s your freaking birthday dude, I wouldn’t have missed this no matter what.” She said looking around the club. Then she started laughing, I followed her eyes as they landed on Ron dancing with that girl. “If he wanted to make me show my ass then he should’ve picked someone who wasn’t his cousin…… dumbass.”

  “Girl he a mess and a half but come on I will buy you a drink.” I said walking with her to the bar. We sat down, ordered our drinks, and was laughing and cracking jokes when Ron came up and plucked my ear.

  “I told you I was going to get you back……. What up Kay?” He said smirking at her, she looked at him and shook her head.

  “I swear you are the dumbest nigga I know, you trying to make me act up by you dancing with some thot……. Maybe you should have pick someone other than your cousin I hang with every other day.”

  “Jakayla nobody was trying to make you do nothing and if I wanted to, I could pull any chick in here I wanted so shut that shit up. Overly dramatic ass.” He said laughing and walking off towards the bathroom.

  “I swear yall are a mess.” I said laughing and drinking out my glass, she was about to respond when her phone lit up. She looked at it and scoffed.

  “I swear I can’t catch a fucking break man; this girl didn’t show up for her shift tonight so guess who have to go in.”

  “I know all about that trust me……. when you have to go in?”

  “In a few……... where is your lil boo at?” She said looking around the club.

  “I don’t have a lil boo bitch you tried it.” I said laughing with her. Ron came back from the bathroom and joined us; Jakayla left after about another 20 minutes to go to work.

  “You look drunk as fuck.” Ron said drinking my last drink.

  “Didn’t you say we should get fucked up? And bitch you are buying me another drink with yo big head ass.” I said standing up.

  “Fuck you, come on let’s hit up waffle house……. I’m hungry as hell and I know you aint got no food at yo house.” He said standing up as well.

  “You buying? It is my birthday after all.” We left out and was driving on the highway when I looked over at him, he looked like he was in deep thought. I didn’t bother asking him what was wrong because I knew he wasn’t going to tell me anyway. Once we made it to waffle house, it was packed so we got our food to go because I was not about to sit in there around all those people.

After we finished eating, I was a bit more sober than I was before, now I was kinda sleepy. I looked over at Ron and this nigga was knocked out. I went into my room to get some clothes out for a shower when my phone buzzed. It was Alton wishing me a happy birthday, I replied, ‘thank you’ and went took a shower, I went into the second bedroom and pulled a pillow and cover of the bed. I went into the living room to see Ron still asleep on my couch. I tossed the cover and pillow to the side of him, I took off his shoes and helped put him in a comfortable position before going back into my room. I slowly started to fall asleep after spending nearly 20 minutes playing on my phone.

  “Jaye?” I heard Ron yell from my room door scaring the piss out of me.

  “Bitch I swear I’m going to fuck you up. You always doing something stupid.” I said throwing a pillow at him.

  “Shut up…… I’m about to head to the house.”

  “Ron it’s late and you’ve been drinking, just stay here and leave in the morning.” I said sitting up in the bed.

  “I don’t have any clothes and I need a shower, I’m good now that I got a nap.”

  “I have some clean shorts and tee shirts and I have underwear still in the pack now go take a shower and I will get them out for you. I don’t wanna hear yo damn mouth either.” I said getting out the bed to get the clothes. He didn’t say anything, he just rolled his eyes and went in the bathroom. A few minutes later I heard the shower turn on. I hated being woken up because it would be hard as hell for me to go back to sleep. I got the clothes out for Ron, then I went into the kitchen to fix another drink. After I made it back into my room, I sat down on the bed and turned on a movie I knew I wouldn’t finish.

  “Where the clothes at pussy?” Ron said walking into my room a few minutes after he finished showering with nothing on but a towel. I have seen him shirtless many times but him being practically naked in my bedroom put me in a daze. “Nigga did you hear me?” He said knocking me out my daze.

  “Oh, umm right there on the dresser.” I said pointing to where I put the clothes. He looked at me and smirked before walking over to get the clothes.

  “You aint fix me a drink?” I looked over to him just as he dropped the towel from his waist.

   “Umm, I can fix you one.” I said trying to pretend I wasn’t looking at him. I got up out the bed and was walking to the door when he did something that I wasn’t expecting. He grabbed me by my waist and pulled me to him. I didn’t know what he was up to nor did I care, the only thing I could focus on was his dick starting to harden on my ass.

No words were spoken for the next 20 minutes as we made out. The way he was making me feel in this moment was something I could and probably would never forget. His dick was huge, and I could barely fit it in my mouth, but I managed to do so with scathing him with my teeth. His moans were music to my ears and forced me to give him my best. I was surprised when he bent me over the bed and buried his tongue deep in my ass. He was eating my ass so good that I didn’t want him to stop. He continued to eat me for about 15 minutes before stopping and making me slide up in the bed. I reached over in my nightstand drawer and grabbed the lube I had stashed there from my last jackoff session.

  He took his time and he was patient while trying to get his dick in me. Once we found our rhythm, I could see why Jakayla was so crazy over this nigga. He had me moaning so loud and I’m sure I probably spoke gibberish a few times as well. As I laid on my back, this nigga was fucking me like he had a point to prove. The more I scratched his back, the harder he went, after about another 20 minutes of him fucking my brains a loose, he pulled out of me and shot his nut all over my chest and neck area while moaning and jolting forward with each shot of nut. Once he started to calm down, he leaned down and kissed me while I caught one of the best nuts I ever experienced.

   We cleaned up and cuddle for the rest of the night while talking about what happened. He told me he doesn’t know what made him want to try that with me, but he enjoyed himself more than he thought he would. Although he and I had sex several times after that, we decided to cut that part of our friendship out. We are still best of friends and we still hang out as much as we can considering our schedules conflict a lot. I will never forget those times we shared but I’m also internally grateful for Ron being in my life.

©uniquecreations2020

[yesicanbelieveitsnotbutter]

what’s that? divorced mociet au for maximum angst? don’t mind if i do!

they meet in a local park, deceit probly says something like “Nature is so beautiful, it’s a shame man tries to own her” and patton is like “omg so deep take me”

they go on sum dates

patton dives head first into love and drags dee with him

pat wants to get married, dee is unsure, but want to make pat happy so he accepts

they adopt a 3 year old logan and 1 year old twins roman and remus

tensions rises as they have two distinct styles of parenting

a friend of patton gets pregent young and asks him to raise the baby (trans!remy for added angst maybe idk)

pat agrees without talking to dee

dee finds out and they have their 1st big fight

dee agrees to raise the babe but the tension has snapped and is poisening their relationship

lil babe virge joins the famILY

deceit goes “i’ve only know virgil for a hour but if anything happens to him i will kill everyone and then myself”

they divorce and there’s an ugly custody battle

dee: “you aren’t responble enough to raise children!!!”

pat: “my baaaaabbbiiiiieeeessss!!!”

Logan (5) and Roman (3) go with Patton

Remus (3) and Virgil (2) go with Deceit

Patton moves away to a new town and they break off contact

pat enrolls his sons in a K-12 school and they do really well

dee works long hours to support his sons

he puts remus in a public school, but remus doesn’t do well in school

he gets into fights and gets expelled

dee sends him to a new school

this happens alot

dee wants to keep remus and virge in the same school, so every time remus gets expelled, he moves both of them

they never stay in the same school for more than a year

this is very stressful for dee who eventually has to move around to keep up with remus’s school-switching

this is also super hard on virgil who never learns how to make friends

dee, who is always stressed and not always there, and remus, a fuck-up who couldn’t care less, become his contants

they move to a new town before virgil’s freshman year

virge and remus go to the local highschool

remus meets roman in their classes (surprise! they have ended up in the same town patton moved to earlier!!)

they don’t reconize either other (obv they were like 3)

remus chalenges roman to a fight durring lunch

virge is like “remus no” and remus is like “remus yes”

crowd gathers and roman wants to protect his pride

they fight and it gets bloody quick

roman’s older brother, logan (:O), comes rushing in and breaks it up

he reconizes remus and virge (he got good memory or sumn)

virge is like “WTF REMUS THIS IS WHY DAD HATES YOU”

and leaves

Logan is surprised pikachu face

the whole school is buzzing with gossip of new kids und log and rom

virge skips class and hides in the liberary

logan finds him after school

logan: “bro i’m like ur older bro” virge: “wth no way bro” logan: “no no i got this picture with both of our now single parents in it” virge: “fuck dude that’s sum pretty solid evidence”

virge opens up a bit to lo

they go to the dention room together but!! patton is there (gasp) and virge is like “omg i can’t let him see me” and lo is like “ur tots right, i won’t say a word”

pat and boys leave and virge goes into dention room

but remus is gone????

suprise bitch he went home early- virge learns thru dee’s “wth are u!!” phone call

dee and boys have dinner, which doesn’t happen often

dee: “im so sorry we can’t have this more often” remus: “whatever ur cooking stinks” virge: *internal panic* cantlethimfindoutcantlethimfindout

back to pat- he’s not angry, roman, just disapointed. fighting=bad

everyone goes to be tired and upset except remus, bc he’s a bastard (look i love him, but he is a bastard)

next day is school day

people whisper about virge and reem in the hallways, but he indimidates them with his Insane Looks TM

Roman “”””forgives””””” Remus when the meet and remus shrugs and insluts his non-existent mother

logan is there and calmly reminds roman not to retaliiate

things go okay for a few weeks

virge is loney, remus is bastard, roman is trying so hard to not punch him in the face, and logan is a nerd

virge needs lo’s nerd skills to pass a test

lo teaches him at the school

ro joins one of their study sessions

at 1st he’s rude to virge but then he reliezes virge is not a bastard like remus

they become friends, an lo and virge tell ro ~The famILY Seceret~

later ro begs virge to join Drama Club

virge is like “nuuu” ro is like “pleassss” virge is like “...ok fine.”

they are doing a play version of The Parent Trap

Ro and virge gets the role of the twins 

rem makes fun of virge for his growing interest in the-ay-tar, but dee’s happy he’s putting himself out there and making friends

logan finds the play ironic lol

pat is excite!! and support!! for roman and his starring role

but then!! lo ro and virge Relieze both parents will Be There and See their Sons or Each Other

remus shows up like an eavesdropping bitch and is like “lol what if we dedicated it to them lol it be funny”

“REMUS NO”

lo’s like “welp nothing we can do bout it now”

ro: “wait! what if u and remus took the other parent of the child on stage out of the theater so they only see their child!!”

lo: unrealilistic

virge panic tm

remus gives a ton of really bad ideas

everyone goes home with this big fat problem in their minds

remus starts dropping onimous hints about the play and dee is Concern

the day of the play comes

ro and virge decied that no matter what, the show must go on

they perform and do really well, breaking both their legs (jk)

(remus throws a tomato onto the stage at the climax lol)

after the show virge finds dee an ree in the crowd

dee is super quiet and looking around (he has the program in his hand)((the program with roman’s full name)) (((which would have patton’s last name)))((((u get it))))

virge panic pt 2, but remus saves the day (whaaa) by asking to go for icecream

dee agrees and they go for sum BR

BUT! ro lo and pat had the same idea!!

they’re in the same icecream parlor!

remus stiffs a laugh

dee cooly glances over to where the pat and boys are sitting before heading over to the country to order

virge quietly follows

lo notices them and nudges ro who abruptly stops talking and looks over at dee and boys, alerting pat of their prensence

flashes of grief on pat’s face

the table is quiet before ro awkwardly picks up the conversation where he left off

dee gets a table as far away from pat &co as possible

however, he looks up once and locks eyes with patton

both tables are quiet

dee breaks the eye contact and starts talking to his boys

patton smiles sadly at his icecream

“I thing we should go home kiddos.”

at home, lo explains everything

pat nods numbly and locks himself in his bedroom

logan comforts roman

at the ice cream, dee talks to virge and remus about the play until patton leave

“so do you know them?”

virge breaks down and admits everything

remus isn’t as much as a bastrad now

dee ods calmly and they eat ice cream in silence

they next day is saturday

virge stays in his room despite remus atempts to play 

remus also locks himself in his room

dee finds logan’s cell number in virgil’s backpack and calls him

surprisingly patton picks up

they talk for a while

they agree to keep the kids in the same school

“I miss you somethimes, dee.” a pause. “Your mistake.”

dee hangs up

he looks up to where virgil’s room is and sighs.

[ladygootgoot]

Do the next five prime numbers from my last ask for the Spotify thing when you get bored again.

okay so the prime numbers are  2, 3, 5, 7, 11, 13, 17, 19, 23, 29, 31, 37, 41, 43, 47, 53, 59, 61, 67, 71, 73, 79, 83, 89, 97

I already did 2, 3, 5, 7, 11 and 13.

Love that I can just google the prime numbers.

17.  “Why you still talking 'bout me like we together?, I moved on for the better, You moved on to whoever”

Broken Clocks by SZA

19.  “Or would you love me more?, If you knew the person that I was, yeah yeah”

Love Me Less (feat. Quinn XCII) by MAX

23. “You the one, I wanna see you when I wake up”

Acid Dreams by MAX and Felly

29.  “I drive circles under street lights, Nothing seems to clear my mind, I can't forget”

Malibu Nights by LANY

31.  “She liked petty crimes, she had green eyes, like mountain dew, And where she go, I'll never know, Her friends bounced too”

Hell N Back by Bakar. I just really like the rhythm in this one. Plus I love the whistling.

37.  “Plans were drawn, and concrete poured, And nail by nail and board by board, Daddy gave life to mama's dream.” or “Out here it's like I'm someone else, I thought that maybe I could find myself.”

The House That Built Me by Miranda Lambert. This song is only in the top bc it’s in my sleep playlist, but it is a great song that I recommend to everyone.

41.  “How do you know someone so well and then it changes?, All of a sudden you're strangers, Thinkin' back on us dancing, When you put your feet on top of mine on the living room floor, Well, tell me what was it for? Oh”

Remember by Liam Payne This is really the only song from Liam’s new album that I listened to more than once, but I love it. 

43.  “What if I had one more night for goodbye?, If you're not here to turn the lights off I can't sleep,These four walls and me”

These Four Walls by Little Mix. This song is also on my sleep playlist, but it is an underrated Little Mix song.

47. “I've got no money in my hands or my coat or my pocket, Wont get to space cos I haven't got a rocket” or “Yeah the boat may sink but I'm not gonna rock it, Cos the sea doesn't know my name” or “Not a lot to show but this book full of sonnets, And my liver may be fucked but my heart is honest”

Things That Stop You Dreaming by Passenger. Again, sleep playlist. It seems that every other song in this area is, and you decided to hit all of them.

53.  “I wanna be young and party”

Forever by FLETCHER

59.  “Now I'm a fat house cat, Cursing my sore blunt tongue”

Flightless Bird, American Mouth by Iron & Wine. LMAOOOOO this song is again on my sleep playlist. This is the only song so far that I am a little ashamed of.

61. “I'll never forget the news I got that morning, Wished that I could turn back but the plane was boarding”

Where Am I At by MAX

67.  “And if I have to choose, My heart or you, I'm gonna lose”

Hard Place by H.E.R.

I’m so shocked this song isn’t higher up in this playlist. The only reason I can think of is that I must have gotten into this song last year. I just know that this song was on repeat for awhile. I’ve introduced multiple people to this song.

71. “I want your number tattooed on my arm in ink, I swear”

 Nice To Meet Ya by Niall Horan

73.  “I'll be good all by myself, Yeah, I'll find a way to dance without you”

Break Up Song by Little Mix. This song is solely for the melody and the dance that they made for it.

 79.  “We'll hit the drive-thru, like Lil' Wayne, We ain't got no platinum chains, But hand-me-downs are all the rage (aye), So let me spend this pocket change”

Summer On You by PRETTYMUCH. This is teaching me i listen to a lot of artists that have their name in all caps.

 83. “Let's focus on communicatin'”

Location by Khalid

 89.  “Ooga-chaka Ooga-Ooga” and  “Lips are sweet as candy, It's taste stays on my mind” plus the chorus.

Hooked on a Feeling by  Björn Skifs, Blue Swede lol didn’t mean to add links, but i’m leaving them. this song is in multiple of my playlists, so it is a little surprising it’s not higher.

 97. “But everybody wants to put me down, They say I'm going crazy” or  “Got no feel, I got no rhythm, I just keep losing my beat” or  “One day (someday) I'm gonna be free, Lord! Find me somebody to love”

Somebody to Love by Queen

This has saved me so much boredom, so thank you.

[satanfemme]

for your lil headcannon party: got any worldbuilding-y type hcs/thoughts?

oh my god I’m finally getting around to this ask jfghdfjh thank u for ur patience, I’m gonna just throw a bunch of things out here that I’ve been thinking of:

1. I said this the other day but I absolutely mean it seriously: every killjoy is trans/nonbinary. hormones are commonly sold around the zones in various forms for cheap, and though surgery is not that common due to the risks involved doing that in the less-than-sanitary desert, there’s one or two surgeons around the zones who’ll help you out with that kind of stuff

sometimes when someone new escapes from the city, they’ll express a polite confusion about the way killjoys present their genders cause the city ofc is very strictly against the kind of self expression inherent to being trans, so it’s a completely new concept to many (tho not all) undergrads. but killjoys will joke about how it’s only a matter of time before the newbie comes out as trans too and sure enough they will given a month or two

as for desert born killjoys, they never have to deal with strict gender roles or labels growing up, so it’s common for young killjoys to experiment with gender throughout adolescence before settling on one label, if they even settle at all. and every time a killjoy, of any age, comes out as something new it’s always something that’s celebrated the same way a killjoy naming themselves is celebrated, self expression is extremely culturally significant for them.

2. due to the inherent traumas of both city and desert life, mental illness is pretty rampant in the zones, but at some point killjoys discover the concept of therapy, and tho it’s never a huge trend (a lot of killjoys find the concept too reminiscent of bli re-education and can’t get past that fear enough to try it out) it still becomes fairly popular and helps out a lot of people

and therapy aside, everyone’s got everyone else’s back either way. there’s no real stigma against mental illness in the zones the same way there’s a stigma in bat city or irl, so killjoys tend to be fairly open about that kind of stuff and help each other thru it when they can

3. the arts are so important to zone life, music obv being the biggest movement, but collage, drawing, painting, pottery, knitting/crocheting, and writing are all very popular ways to spend downtime. art supplies are always in high demand and can get a little pricey, but many clays and paints can be found/made just in nature. 

Additionally to save on paper/ink, many killjoys who write will just memorize what they’ve written, whether it’s poetry or a story or whatever, and recite it out loud for others. This leads to something of an oral tradition in the zones where prose will be passed around from one gang to the next just through word of mouth, sometimes changing a bit in the process with no official copy written down, over time the original script might even organically morph into something completely new in the process. 

4. comics are also popular in the zones. not many people write/make them, but old copies of comics from before the war get passed around a lot. I saw a headcanon a while back that jthm is popular among killjoys and I def agree with that lol.

handmade collaborative zines are much easier for killjoys to make themselves so there’s plenty of those too, and they’ll often have short comic strips in them in addition to other forms of original art. 

5. also fashion is an art form itself for killjoys, that’s pretty clear just in canon so I feel like I don’t really need to elaborate, but I wanted to point that out too cause it feels relevant and I love thinking about killjoys getting together for a diy party, just sitting around and sewing all day

[dolphin-enthusiast]

ahhh it is embarrassing how my siblings find me in the most candid moments,, i'm just glad that the video didn't spread too far among my friends,, because i know for a fact that if it reached far enough, someone would end up posting it here!! at least they always threaten to do so... 😖💫 oh my, and morgy dear, you are one sly fox, don't think i missed where you called my existence "ethereal" in tags... you are way too sweet to me!! but really, the only thing ethereal here is you~ 💞 (2/9)

"i started watching playthroughs of the ace attorney games today (since i can't afford to buy any of them) and i really enjoy it so far!! i can't wait to watch more, and this coming week, i plan to set a day aside to watch more of our show 😉 (3/9)

ooh, something quite funny has happened today,, i put out this question on instagram asking if any of my friends want to go out for dinner with me sometime (since i was bored and i think it's a nice idea hehe) and now i have TONS of people saying yes!! oh gosh, it's quite crazy! i feel bad for it but i think i have to pic just a few people, since the amount of contenders is overwhelming,, ahhhh i do hope they'll take it well!! 😅 (4/9)

today was spent working,, tailoring clothes and cleaning the house to be exact,, it was all so tiring, and unfortunately i was the only one who was able to do it since everyone else was "busy",, mamma mia,, but i did end up having to do more food shopping today, and it started to storm super hard while i was out! i am scared of thunderstorms, so being out and about during one is truly a nightmare for me!! (5/9)

they are so beautiful but terrifying at the same time,, oh gosh, it was even worse since i was out by myself,, no one to latch onto for safety 😖 i think the thunderstorm may be related to a hurricane that is incoming towards my country,, it most likely won't hit as bad in the north (where i am) since the storms tend to die down and wash out in the atlantic by the time they reach here, so we'll probably just get more thunderstorms,, (6/9)

though in return, we get these awful storms that we call nor'easters, which are basically wintry hurricanes they are truly awful for me to live through since i do not do well with cold at all,, my friends and i actually got caught in one by accident last year, and we were stuck outside for 3 whole hours... ah that was such a scary situation!!!!we all ended up going to the hospital to get checked out since we were trapped for so long... (7/9)

everyone i know in person always talks about how we're "survivors", but i'm not sure if that's the right term to use... i guess it's the law of equivalent exchange? a hurricane for a nor'easter hehe ☁ speaking of storms, when the rain died down, i went to check on the bunnies,, and the poor cuties were soaked and shivering! i offered them my raincoat and umbrella to stay under, but i guess they were desperately cold, to the point where they cuddled up to me! (8/9)

i ended up laying there for half an hour, trying to warm the little bunbuns up,, and even though i came home shivering myself, i'm so happy that sacrificing my body heat was enough to help them!! 😊 oh my stars, i feel the tiredness hitting me, I guess that means sleepy time hehe! goodnight dolcezza, i'll see you tomorrow!! sending sweet dreams your way 💕 - love always, your adoring waifu 💋🌺💘💌🌠 ps: we must definitely go out to dinner together,, no if's and's or but's about it~! 😘 (9/9)"

Ok so before i say anything else tungle mighr have eaten the first part to ur letter and im boutta throw fists 🗿🗿🗿🗿 but either way i gotta say darling my eyes read over the words "sly fox" and i immediately c r e a s e d jhdusuxhdjs im only stating facts alright🤪🤪🤪 it wouldn't be the first time someone calls me sly but i take that as a compliment really👁️

And before we dive d e e p e r lemme tell u a lil secret....i myself did not buy the aa games so if u acc want to play em hmu👀👁️👀👁️

Ok so as for the storms thing i gotta say thats fuckin wild ur life really does sound like a move darling u know rhshxhd i do know its esp bad lately from another american friend of mine who told me that it also heavily rained in her area (she's on the east coast) so🗿🗿🗿 but ig u would be called survivors since technically u made it thru a natural disaster which is fuckin w i l d

Its nice to see that u were more productive again ofc (and also u warming those poor bunnies up? Icon 11/10 disney princess right fuckin here) but i gotta say once more idk how u do it....i'd be burning up the house when attempting to cook and shredding the clothes in less than a second🤡 my day was spent writing (smth non jojo related) then i went out and played football until my legs gave in and pain shot thru my entire body since my dumbass can go at it for h o u r s completely ignoring if i scrape some skin or shit like that just bc i wanna push thru and keep playing a h a

On another note, im p sure ur friends would all want to go out w u (i myself the most but shh) 👁️

[warzofstarz]

star wars Thoughts at 4 am

ok so rise of skywalker happened,,, and i have mixed feelings. i didn’t hate it but i didn’t love it either (and i usually love star wars movies), so i am in desperate need of a little rant about both the good and the bad in the conclusion of the saga

DISLIKE

1. JJ ABRAMS DISREGARDING ALL OF THE DEVELOPMENT WE EXPERIENCED DURING LAST JEDI. this is what i am most upset about. you don’t have to like tlj, but you can’t pretend it never happened. it’s like he was trying to completely backtrack on everything that happened in tlj bc it was ~his~ vision for the franchise. i think that is disrespectful to not only rian, but to fans who grew attached to the development of the characters. we see finn revert back to first movie finn (lovesick puppy lowkey), rey become an invincible child of the sith, the end of the skywalker family line, complete abandonment of rose, and a total shift in the message of the trilogy. all jammed last second into the film. the next few points all have to do w this

2. the fact that in tlj it is revealed that rey is truly nobody- she’s not some all-powerful descendant or some with royal blood- and tros completely ignores this and makes her a palpatine. the whole point before was that she’s normal, but that doesn’t make her any less powerful, smart, or strong. the message from the first two movies was that you don’t have to be in these elite categories to be special and powerful, which is an important message to every single child and adult watching. it empowers us as viewers to believe that we have the capability to be great, no matter our status, birth name, ethnicity, class, or where we are from. you can find family when you have none. you have the power to change your life. when jj decide LAST SECOND to make her a palpatine, with no clues thrown into the first two movies to lead us to believe this, it feels like a joke. the rey we had come to sympathize with is suddenly an all-powerful sith, seeming stronger than even anakin and yoda, even though she had never even completed training. this reveal is not emotional and literally loses respect rather than gaining any from the audience. a cop out. i felt less emotionally attached to rey than in the previous two films bc of her sheer perfect power

3. rose being 100% sidelined even though her character was incredible in last jedi. her arc was one that i truly couldn’t wait to see finish and sadly we never got it because she was completely abandoned so it could just be a trio once more. i love her. the disrespect.

4. the sudden introduction of zorri just so that poe has someone to flirt with??? like if you wanted to prove he was heterosexual make him flirt w someone he has actual on screen history and chemistry with, like uhhhh idk? rey?????? dont get me wrong tho she is a badass and i love how she shuts poe down!! queen

5. how they throw it in there that finn is force sensitive but don’t fully explain it?? and he never even tells rey??? this is SUCH a cool concept yet it’s never even hinted at until the third movie and its not further developed as to why. likewise i wish we saw the stormtroopers before they left the first order. see what they dealt with and the abuse they endured bc it’s such an important facet of the trilogy and literally drives finns character

6. how we never touch on why poe felt it when rey was tortured?

7. i wish leia hadn’t died and she rallied support w lando

8. if they are a dyad why didn’t rey and ben fight palpatine together?? then no one would have died??

9. i’m just really sad that they chose to kill ben because even though rey takes their name, the skywalker bloodline is gone, while a palpatine lives on. the entire purpose of the first six movies is anakin bringing balance by defeating palpatine. somehow, palpatine survived this (never explained!!!!), which completely defeated the purpose of the first six films and strips anakins chosen one status and ultimate sacrifice of any true importance. in the end of tros, the palpatine bloodline lives on while the skywalker bloodline is gone, and i can’t help but to feel like that contradicts the theme of the original saga in which the skywalkers defeat palpatine and hope lives on.

10. lastly, i just don’t think george lucas would have wanted ben to die. when people kill off main characters to make the movie more emotional, he has literally said “i don’t like that and i don’t believe that” he goes on to say that he hates when main characters are killed, stating “the whole point of the film, the whole emotion that i am trying to get at the end of the film, is for you to be real uplifted, emotionally and spiritually, and feel absolutely good about life. that is the greatest thing we could ever possibly do.” so, i’m sure some of you could see why i have a little issue with killing someone who has finally recognized the error of their ways and wants to be better. yes, he has done awful things that cannot be separated from his new identity as ben, but i think that it would have been even more impactful to make him live with the crimes he has committed and still make him keep fighting his demons to join his legacy on the light side. overall, bens death left a sour taste in my mouth, and for that reason i don’t walk out feeling uplifted. i just wish i knew what george lucas is thinking right now.

LIKE

1. ben solo’s arc and han. now, before some of you pop off at me, i still think he was awful and horrible and didn’t deserve instant forgiveness, but i also think that someone who has grown up his entire life being treated like the spawn of satan by all adults who are supposed to love him would fuck him up majorly, like it would to anyone else in that situation. i think that he deserved another chance at experiencing love and happiness, and i absolutely adored the scene with him and han solo. it was honestly one of the best parts of the whole movie. thank you harrison ford. the whole “i don’t think i’m strong enough” and him tearing up to his dad CUT DEEP. AND THE “dad-“ “i know” LIKE LITERALLY MY HEART. bringing back the “i love you” “i know” so they are LITERALLY TELLING EACH OTHER THEY LOVE EACH OTHER!!! i’m at peace. adam driver’s acting was absolutely phenomenal. so much respect for him. truly incredible.

2. i loved poe and rey’s bickering. lowkey thought it built some chemistry between them. and how poe seemed quite jealous that finn knew stuff about rey that he didn’t, literally asking him more than once (1nce) about it, like???? han leia vibes. tea. but also poe and finn

3. i really liked jannah SOOO much (and i usually am not one for introducing a character so late) but, like i explained in detail above, i wish they had built that backstory better and introduced her a little bit sooner with more screen time. but i loved her and finns connection and understanding of their trauma.

4. FINN AND POE BEING THE CUTEST HUMANS EVER. that’s all. i just love how they care so very much about each other like stop. cogenerals.

5. ALL THE JEDI VOICES WERE SO FREAKING COOL. CHILLS.

6. i honestly think that’s all. i don’t have anything more

7. OH WAIT HUX BEING THE SPY. i ate that shit up. yes. we stan. AND the hint that he was going along w poe’s phone call in tlj so that the resistance could escape (that’s how poe KNEW it) like YES

8. the animation of young luke and leia made my heart weep

9. that lil sketchy bitch babu and the new cone droid that talks,, mmm

10. OH THAT THE FORCE BOND LETS THEM TRANSMIT OBJECTS THRU IT LIKE THE VADER MASK SCENE WAS ICONIC

11. this is so sad that i am putting this in my “like” parts but the fact that they didn’t kill chewie and that they showed him being so torn up about leias death

12. OH AND CHEWIE GETTING HIS MEDAL THAT WAS SO HYPE

13. rey burying the skywalker lightsabers and looking into the sunset, perfectly tying back to luke doing the same 42 years ago

overall, if i don’t think too hard, i did like it and felt kind of at peace. BUT it could’ve been much better @ JJ :/ i feel like it didn’t do the saga justice as the “conclusion of the saga” bc there is still so much left unanswered. but, like i said, i did enjoy it a lot and have so much love for this world. rant over. i love u star wars. thank u for everything. <3

[tiredbiostudent]

Hi! Could you maybe recommend some music, I keep listening to the same three songs and would love to find something new, doesn't have to be a specific genre. Also, you're blog is wonderful!

omg this is so sweet my heart is 🥺 rn but also, idk how much I can help because I also genuinely will listen to one song for an entire week straight and haven’t had a ton of time to find new music lately! but here’s some genre breakdowns of artists I love and some songs by them, or just individual tunes:

[edit: sorry this got insanely long!! I can maybe link spotify playlists if I ever get around to making some ‘:) but tl;dr my fave artists are frank ocean, sigrid, hozier, ben howard, cezinando, khalid, childish gambino, nas, lorde, the lumineers, rhcp, girl in red and travis scott]

1. guitar/rock indie-arcade fire: neighbourhood #3, the well and the lighthouse, we exist, afterlife, the suburbs, ready to start, SUBURBAN WAR!! (listen to the entire suburbs album if you want to feel rlly nostalgic about ur childhood)-ben howard (my favourite artist ever, I saw him live and it was phenomenal): rivers in your mouth, time is dancing, I forget where we were, only love, black flies, oats in the water, she treats me well, towing the line, follaton wood-rhcp (long time fave): under the bridge, by the way, californiacation, scar tissue, otherside, goodbye angels, dani California, snow (hey oh), tell me baby-city and colour (another old fave who I’ve also seen live and is amazing!! if you like hozier and the lumineers you’d like him, a bit of a less intense sound though): sleeping sickness, what makes a man, waiting…, constant knot, the golden state, killing time, wasted love, runaway, map of the world, blood, the grand optimist :’), northern wind, hello I’m in delaware-the scientist by coldplay.. if u haven’t been emo about this song since 2003 wyd-haven’t listened to her in forever but cosmic love by florence + the machine >>-girl in red (her music is great but her LYRICS r literally my soul): i wanna be your girlfriend, summer depression, i need to be alone, 4am, girls, say anything, bad idea, i’ll die anyway, we fell in love in october-harry styles: adore you, fine line, golden, sunflower vol. 6, sweet creature, lights up, to be so lonely, sign of the times, HIS COVER OF ULTRALIGHT BEAM-hozier (ANOTHER fave, fucking insane live too. sir ily): work song, in the woods somewhere, sedated, cherry wine, almost (sweet music) [song equivalent to a warm summer evening], movement !! holy f-, as it was, be, wasteland baby!-broken by lovelytheband-the lumineers (my guys!!!!): cleopatra, sleep on the floor, angela, long way from home, sick in the head, my eyes, white lie, donna, salt and the sea, slow it down, stubborn love-where’s my love by syml-mitski: washing machine heart, old friend, nobody, lonesome love-sam roberts band: bridge to nowhere, brother down, if you want it-saturn by sleeping at last-sufjan stevens: mystery of love, visions of Gideon (I don’t stan cmbyn but literally these two songs are the only thing I listened to from dec 2017 to feb 2018), the hidden river of my life, futile devices, Vesuvius-love will tear us apart cover by susanna and the magical orchestra-vance joy: mess is mine, Georgia, my kind of man, Saturday sun, we’re going home, lay it on me, take your time, I’m with you !!, like gold, crashing into you-remember when by wallows !!!

2. chill indie/pop-billie eilish: idontwannabeyouanymore, ilomilo, my strange addiction, bury a friend-cezinando (also my fave artist, and noen ganger is probs my fave album of all time): ingenting blir det samme men samme for meg, selv du, haper du har plass (if u can make it thru this song w/o crying on public transportation you are much stronger than I), tommolen pa vekta, er dette alt, usynlig-sigrid (the LOML and my other fave artist- seeing her live was the best day of my life no cap): dynamite, plot twist, fake friends, strangers,  don’t feel like crying, raw, focus, I don’t want to know, her cover of sex by the 1975 changed my life fr, mine right now, BASIC !!!!!, in vain, never mine [this is highkey bc I’m a bonafide sigrid stan but I cannot recommend her ENOUGH she has one of the most incredible voices ever, is an insanely talented songwriter, and her music is so hype and beautiful and yeah :’)]-khalid (I love his voice sm, also the ceo of vibes): bad luck, cold blooded, 8teen, my bad, better, hundred, Saturday nights, suncity-run by elsa and emilie-lorde (my bby): bravado, buzzcut season, the love club, the louvre, supercut, 400 lux, ribs, white teeth teens, a world alone-fy faen by hkeem & temur (have been listening to this song for 3 yrs straight no cap)-btstu by jai paul-8896 by lapsley-joji: slow dancing in the dark, will he-moon by kid francesoli-aloha by mome (another all time fave)-karpe diem: hvite menn som pusher 50, lett a vaere rebell i kjellerleiligheten din, gunerius, spis din syvende sans-astrid s: 2AM matoma remix (one of my fave songs ever tbh), hurts so good !!!, such a boy-myth by beachhouse -mgmt: kids, electric feel-nostalgi 3millioner by tomine harket & unge Ferrari -lykke li: sex money feelings die (did I listen to this song for 5 months straight last year? hm), I follow rivers-one direction (ofc): story of my life, 18, night changes, drag me down, literally all of Take Me Home which is unequivocally their best album I will take no criticism on that-berlin by ry x-dancing with a stranger by sam smith and normani-taylor swift (not rlly a fan but wowww some of her songs): call it what you want !!!!, false god, begin again, all you had to do was stay, clean-kamikaze by Susanne sundfor-tame impala: let it happen (the og and the soulwax remix), the less I know the better, gossip-head over heels by tears for fears-somebody else by the 1975 (apparently I was the only one who only discovered this song in 2019 but it’s like all I listened to from October-December)

3. rap & rnb-brockhampton: rental !!!, face, bleach, sweet-childish gambino: ii. zealots of stockholm, heartbeat, les, the “hardbone with a hard r” remix of bonfire and redbone drooooool-drake (yikes dude but ngl. chill bops): feel no ways, u with me?, hold on we’re going home, passionfruit, you and the 6-vince staples: bagbak, lift me up, norf norf-frank ocean (LOML frank I’d die for you. also my fave artist *proceeds to list his entire discography*): SEIGFRIED!!!!, songs 4 women, nights, chanel, ivy, thinkin bout you, sweet life, pyramids, lost, bad religion, pink matter, forrest gump, in my room, swim good, dust, american wedding, provider-jorja smith: blue lights, february 3rd, on your own-ransom by lil tecca-nas (fave to end all faves): take it in blood, represent, the message, halftime, affirmative action, street dreams, one love, hate me now, cherry wine, new world-mobb deep: hell on earth, survival of the fittest, party over, shook ones pt ii-travis scott: (astroworld is the only thing I listened to summer-fall 2018 no cap) astrothunder, coffee bean, Yosemite, butterfly effect, houstonfornication, skeletons, stop trying to be god, stargazing, highest in the room-kanye (don’t roast me for this): can’t tell me nothing, ultralight beam, fade, hold my liquor-drip too hard by lil baby-(all a product of tiktok) bop, toes, suge, panini remix by da baby-migos (lmao): notice me, slippery, pure water-walk man by tmg sfdjhfkdjfsdfs-go loko by YG-the weeknd: reminder, as you are, hurt you, privilege, tell your friends, starboy, sidewalks, high for this

(I also love old school rock music but haven’t listened to it much since highschool- my fave bands are led zeppelin, CCR, boston, fleetwood mac, pink floyd, blue oyster cult, styx, the who)

[unproduciblesmackdown]

hmm here’s me talking about su sort of lmao like i said i’m not here to be particularly scentamentle?? just say funney stories....and some opinions.....it’s really been a hot minute and i haven’t been making Long text posts about things so i can throw one out there even if it’s got no thesis statement

also like i said i just so happened to like, actually watch the first ep on actual tv when it actually premiered....all i super remember knowing about it beforehand was like “oh rebecca sugar getting her own series right on” and i was gonna check it out on that alone and then also i remember before it debuted there was an article about it in the wapo in the sort of “local”-ish section b/c it was like. hey this is based in uh yknow the dmv....delmarva area.....this whole Region.....and i (from nova and in nova at that time, and flipping thru the print wapo every day) was like haha. neat. also god damn it was 2013, hell of a year. i can tell you little about it b/c it was so crappy i just like did not bother much with things like “distinct memories” lmfao. great to have like, a weekly thing towards the end of that hot mess (november??? or smthing??) back when....god........it aired weekly.........anyways yeah i was pleasantly surprised from the start i don’t Get when people are like “can’t watch this in order :/ the first few eps don’t sell it well” like okay speak for yourself god dman....more on that later i’m sure lmfao. hot takes

my brother started watching it too just cuz he’s game for shit that way and i was keeping up with it. like i remember i thought cheeseburger backpack was extra fun and i think i showed him a rerun and i remember he thought it was funny lol the Raft Gag......and when i was watching tiger millionaire i kept For Real Laughing and he came over like what is going on.....and i think he was signed on from there........again pretty fun for it to be this weekly thing. also maybe i’m not here to be Sentamental but i was also like “oh no that Spoke to my feelings unexpected :(” during tiger millionaire when amethyst was all “you can’t let anyone make you feel like garbage” and “i only feel how i wanna feel” like guess who was in the early stages of “my self esteem is so crappy it’s starting to circle around into [trying to increase self esteem]”.........like i said hell of a time. though then that’d be 2014 by then i think?? still a hell of a time

started to get “i think i will draw the same character one million times” about it at some point in 2014 too lmfao......every instance of [me drawing the same shit one million times], which is the only way i ever draw anything, then like, benefits whatever i draw later cuz like. sure get some practice out of it. and even though like, it wasn’t quite as huge an Internet Thing as it was gonna get once i started to draw shit, it was already like, classic-me Kinda Niche to be like “hey gang who is going ham about the bored dumbass teens”....not so niche that there weren’t other people going “yeah i am” at any given time tho. and then we put our hands in the middle and go Yeah!! and jump up hsm style. it was also a great time for something Fun and (easier than marble hornets lol) to draw b/c. it simply was a good time for it.....struggling to draw shit back then even more than is like, usual. oh and also i forget but i had sort of Withdrawn from the mh fanbase b/c it got this whole influx of randos after fjsfdking the Video Game we all know the one and i was like. i am gonna.....sidle over here. nobody Likes to be in a fandom actually lmfao. and i mean even while su was getting to be A Whole Thing i was like. bro i am over here in the Donuts section and it is a little quieter and i use the tag sometimes but i’m all set, thanks. still the least Niche niche i’ve been in probably lmfao....see: the fact that probably still way most of my followers are here from su times even tho idk who’s even active still

also had a high time making some great Long Text Posts. i kind of always fail 2 grasp that even as much as my drawings that stuff leads to me actually getting to interact with people, b/c like, those text posts have me actually saying Words in them, which helps lmfao..........i think it’s like, these posts are probably Not That Fun for most people, but then for the people who Are like “oh sweet this is something that i actually want,” that’s obviously a helpful way to find a kindred spirit lmao.....like hey cool you already know i can’t shut up and am opinionated and obviously a lil much? fantastic let’s do this. plus idk it’s fun to Not Shut Up Actually. like, not the biggest deal. ppl can just Scroll Past. or not

speaking of “getting practice Not Shutting Up and Drawing Shit”.......hilarious when in late 2018 i find myself like. oh so you’re telling me this excellent character who is a self-sabotaging struggling-to-know-how-to-cope-with-shit-and-connect-with-others insecure af Teen is not appreciated / ignored / deemed Awful (and then ignored) by the majority of the fanbase?????? hahaha you don’t say....but No Problem. let me just talk about how this person has Complexity actually and is a lot more sympathetic than not and i hate all of you omg like do we have to do all of this ourselves lmfao........guess so, Fine

what am i talking about funny stories who is this funny to lmfao. okay no but okayyy what an experience when the island adventure preview came out and for like the next 4 days i did not experience depression lmao........i Jumped on the opportunity b/c it was like, early fall i wanna say??? i think sept?? 2014 and i was kinda mulling over going to gmx (which was this convention the Marble Hornets gang kept getting invited to & i’d been 2 twice b4 but missed the previous yr coz it was 2013 and i was way not thriving) and yeah jumped on the “depression / (as much) anxiety who???” superpower to Ask if it was cool if i went to a friend’s wedding in georgia for a weekend. there was no friend’s wedding in georgia. and then i went to gmx AND. ironically (not really im sure. idk what irony means and idc) gmx weekend ended up being the same weekend island adventure actually aired and when i left that morning (gmx being in nashville) my lil bro (getting up for school) was like GO GO and i actually made it in time to catch it in the hotel room but. they didn’t have the channel despite it being listed on the channel guide. i about flipped lmfao but i did see it later that weekend and flipped again. gmx was an a-okay time as well lmao that was the last time i made it

they may have never sold a licensed Lars S1 Green/Purple Snake Tee but look when i have this green racerback with a neat snake print & this necklace of purple quartz crystals and also when i was at gmx i bought this necklace with one (non purple, non actual crystals but plastic shaped like it / glossed) pendant In The Spirit Of It All and it gets compliments. anyways the point is. indirectly representing

speaking of crystals = lars i’d just like to reiterate that i’m always right. like sure i was like “look i don’t know how lars could have Crystal Magic in him but something is up with the fact he’s = pink magic flowers with crystals inside them Means Something.” i think it’s reasonable to Not have predicted he dies and gets revived w/ crystal magic that’s in him now. but that’s still a Win for realizing somethings up....tfw as early as like s2 times i’d be like “well the donuts gotta get involved in the center of adventure at Some point and also i Know it is important that steven is just lars’s rly annoying little brother and y/n do you think lars would die to protect him i think he would...” like. i didn’t wanna be That right :/

tfw me and my brother were watching rose’s scabbard while my mom was napping it out in the armchair and like silently Sharing A Look at the whole “she was beautiful” thing like. lol harold

i still don’t know how much of a Thing(tm) magfest is but as far as i can figure it it’s No Comic Con (like, thank god :| ) but still kind of a thing. anyways i learned of it cuz i saw there was gonna be a couple su panel thingies & i looked it up & we were less than an hour away and so it was like midnight but i ask my brother like hey wanna swing by this thing on this one friday. and he was like Sure. so i made it happen and he was 17 so we had to drag our dad to the bank to Notarize a form that he was allowed to be there accompanied by me. it was a big place and it also took us a while to find Registration or whatever and when we tried getting sandwiches later it cost like $7 each go figure. anyways but we were just there for the one Event & there was a room like filled with arcade games and a bunch of other consoles (also Retro though. like old computers n stuff) and they had Galaga, thank fucking god. we 2 playered that shit and wandered around and also 2 playered a game called toobin, which was funny. real gamers know. 

when we were in the (pretty long) Line to get into the Panel, i actually like. spotted a then-mutual who i (was pretty sure i) recognized from her occasional selfie lol and who i guess had travelled all the way from the west coast for the weekend. when we were actually Seated she happened to be a couple rows back and both of us on the end of the aisle and i asked my brother if he could read her nametag (to verify lol) and i bopped over to have the cringe and fail exchange of “hey do you have a Tumblr” and then i was like “haha i’m milo i’m ummmwine” and she got up to hug me and then i had to scamper back to my seat cuz shit was starting lol

like my life was not changed by this event but we had fun and. the Hilarious story is that it was also partially a Q&A and i had a Q and my brother encouraged me by again whispering “go go” as soon as the first syllable was spoken implying Line up For Questions.....i was in like, the last idk, haaalf dozen or so ppl who made it to the mic? and look i knew i was gonna be asking a niche question that like 3 other people of the hundreds in the room would care about but So What. deal with it gang, let’s have some Variety. but i was still nervous. and when i’m nervous, i a) Have A Script and b) get even chattier. and right after the person Right In Front Of Me got their answer, i guess it was noticed that it was getting down to the wire so they were like “haha okay lightning round :)” and i was like NO.......GOD..........lmfao like too late im sorry i Can’t make it lightning round. i was muy anxious.....just that, again, hundreds of people there, i have the floor, nobody’s gonna Like my quastion......and they didn’t know the answer (which i figured was v possible lol) so i was like oh no sklfjd hope this entire room doesn’t hate me. i mean of course i didn’t care if they did too much but, Nerves....also im valid, but were the like half dozen people who asked prior to me about shit that would CLEARLY be too spoilery to answer valid????? no lmfao. cmon. that’s what’s Really cringe

well here we ffw a bit b/c Mid To Late 2015 is certainly a time for me and it doesn’t really make for an interesting story so just to tldr it lmao like, got some beautiful moral support from someone as i was makin a Lifestyle Change lol and continued to get beautiful moral support from that same person and i continue to benefit from it....You know who you are!!!! tyvvm....and it occurred to me that the reason i am where i physically am is via someone i met thru su-posting.......which is true of the You Know who you are person too, which is why i brought it up lmao

uhh god not as many Stories after that lol.....def got to engage in “i’m ___ i’m gonna [draw the same character i always draw] so i won’t be so ___” during interesting times lol. love that for me

tbh the uh. Wanted arc was truly one of the best Serial Arcs, just dramatic & solid af and also it’s lars time and for a second i go “god well at least maybe now ppl will acknowledge lars is a gr8 character” and then a second later i go “Oh No they’ll only say he’s a good character *Now*” and that’s exactly what happened lmfao but well we still got as much lars fanart as we ever got outside that couple weeks aftermath... l o l . . . i had to wait One Zillion Years for my little brother to catch up to this b/c. he was watching via hulu i think where like, a full season would come out a good while after the finale. seriously i think it took him almost 2 years. im like dammit lmfao this is What Matters dfslk....fond memories when hulu was free / no login req’d / shit would be available like the day after airing

uhhhHHH crazy how this show muscled through the weird scheduling change where it was like “no weekly eps Only Erratic Hiatuses”......ppl were so foolishly Into the first “5 eps in a row” release and i was like “no i don’t like this” and then a year later i was like “you see. You See.” rip

i think we can even ffw to sutm at that point lol....im like im in this for lars okay lmfao kinda Shrugggg @ things by this point lol like finale shminale. where’s he at. and i really wasn’t paying a world of attention to like, prior-to-release lore n announcements so i was just plunged into this chaos of like sorry???? excuse me?? of all the people in the world sarah stiles?????? lfsdj like noooo don’t show me these tweets lmfao......truly it’s fine i’m being Hilarious but it’s also very real that like, when i see things like “showtime(tm)” or “SHO” or “billions content” i’m just doused with Dread b/c i hate this series lmao i swear to christ. but it’s really Fine lmfao like. i was kinda “eh :/” to “yea this is alright” about the rest of it but spinel was The Highlight lmfao and having $50 to go ham on her animation was great but really the voice acting Made It.....like the entire takeaways was uh the other friends sequence and fuckin uhh this part. fuck it up ms. stiles........hit it out of the park..........cain was the first funny bitch and spinel was the second. that thought just came to me and i will not elaborate. call that a revelation. oh and also it was a relief cuz i was like “i s2g if this Antagonist is like, aquamarine-style annoying af....i will die” but No. spinel is annoying af in another way which is her rights and i don’t want to die about it lmfao. she’s good.......i don’t even resent the “how come whenever some rando shows up ready to literally kill everyone for no good reason, all of you are ready to be like ‘wow an icon’ and we can’t have 10% of that energy for the teen who’s kinda bitchy b/c he’s annoyed by life and crap???” thing b/c i mean, she had her whole Arc all at once and also is good enough for it i think. the nadir was when the one rando shows up for like One episode like “i Don’t want to kill everyone :3 syke >:)” and for some reason people were like “omg iconic. call them on their ‘don’t kill everyone’ bullshit” like lol i hate you guys

well i like lars’s [last outfit we see him in] and i feel like it only backs up the bi agenda. another epic gamer moment had been when it became a Popular Hc that lars is trans b/c he is lmao. and everyone was all “why is everyone sayign this why would you want him to be trans he sucks” like get good grandma!!!!!!!! it’s too late. well that’s the end of my post. me in 2014 being like “wow way to have something to keep up with b/c now i have to outlive it to get all the dnads content i guess” and here i am. but it’s almost April 2020 so. haha 

hmm what’s a less ominous ending. oh shit another thing that was funny is i was like So about these Skull Plugs featured in this semi-official drawing of lars once and then horror club came out (fun b/c i like horror) and had the skull plugs for Real & they were glow in the dark. that was a big day for me even seeing the promos lmfao. except then i guess it was foreshadowing, so again i end this with Death. don’t we all

wait no lsfdjs What tf was matthew moy talking about “i like your hair.” dude dropping an i-guess cut line on us lmfao. alright alright im done

[pduwd]

The beautiful soul @dtexo tagged me, thank you sweetheart 💙💙

----------------‐---------------------------

1. what is the color of your hairbrush?

Blue and it has a lil duck inside.

2. a food you never eat?

Any kind fish.

3. are you typically too warm or too cold?

Hands and feet too cold, face too warm❄🔥

4. what were you doing 45 minutes ago?

Taking a shower

5. what is your favorite candy bar?

Kitkat or Kinder idk (I love chocolate too much hihi)

6. have you ever been to a professional sports event?

Yes, a football match

7. what is the last thing you said out loud?

My teachers are shitty so I'm gonna study while I'm disappointed (to my mum😂)

8. what is your favorite ice cream?

Mint&chocolate, cheesecake, oreo and so many more because I love ice cream too much!

9. what was the last thing you had to drink?

Water

10. do you like your wallet?

Yess, it's purple🤭💜

11. what was the last thing you ate?

An apple

12. did you buy any new clothes last weekend?

No :(

13. the last sporting event you watched?

Probably a basketball match

14. what is your favorite flavor of popcorn?

The ones with salt or butter. Sweet popcorns are EVIL.

15. who is the last person you sent a text message to?

The one and unique @in-elk-universe-voor-altijd

16. ever go camping?

No :(

17. do you take vitamins?

Yeah, everyday

18. do you go to church every sunday?

Nope

19. do you have a tan?

I wish. I only get sunburned

20. do you prefer chinese food or pizza?

Pizza all the way

21. do you drink your soda with a straw?

I don't like soda

22. what color socks do you usually wear?

White or black

23. ever drive above the speed limit?

I don't have drive license so no

24. what terrifies you?

The dark, the heights, mirrors, thunderstorms, bees...a lot of things 😂😂

25. look to your left, what do you see?

A lamp

26. what chore do you hate?

Do the dishes

27. what do you think of when you hear an australian accent?

5SOS and 😍

28. what’s your favorite soda?

I don't like sodaa

29. do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive-thru?

Go in because I don't have a car, sadly

30. who’s the last person you talked to?

My mum

31. favorite cut of beef?

Idk

32. last song you listened to?

Shine by Years & Years

33. last book you read?

The little prince for the 1737278 time

34. favorite day of the week?

Thursday or Saturday

35. can you say the alphabet backwards?

More or less (more less than anything else)

36. do you like your coffee?

I LOVE IT

37. favorite pair of shoes?

Black boots

38. at what time do you normally go to bed?

Hihi...3 or 4 a.m.

39. at what time do you normally get up?

7:30/8:00 am

40. what do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets?

Sunrise, always ���

41. how many blankets are on your bed?

3

42. describe your kitchen plate.

Boring white

43. do you have a favorite alcoholic beverage?

Gin

44. do you play cards?

Nope

45. what color is your car?

I don't have one.

46. can you change a tire?

I don't think soo

47. what is your favorite province?

I really don't know tbh

I've never had one but I would love to work as a psychologist.

49. how did you get your biggest scar?

With the edge of a swimming pool

50. what did you do today that made someone else happy?

I sent my bestie a lot of pics of me being dumb to make her laugh💙

--------------------------------------------------

I'm tagging @in-elk-universe-voor-altijd @voldemortimaginarynose96 @jusdekiwi and anyone who feels like doing it (feel free to ignore sunshines)

[thefudge]

thoughts on elite season 2

- idk why but i found this season more engaging than the first which i only watched fragments of because i couldn’t be arsed to care about certain plotlines, but season 2 made me care about almost everyone? well, almost. but it was far more compelling anyway. 

-lucrecia/lu is turning out to be a Problematic Fave. she’s probably one of the more complex characters on the show. despite how wretched she can be,  i like how deeply she wants to be “seen” and understood and i def felt bad for her about guzman (oh, and we’ll get to him, ugh). her back and forth with valerio was both compelling and a little frustrating (valerio himself was both compelling and frustrating). i don’t think the writers put that much thought into it, but i liked the undercurrent of sadness in their bond which was far more interesting than the forbidden aspect (but yea ok, that was also hot, yall know me lol). the actors sold it pretty well. and that oscar wilde quote <3 incidentally, valerio reminds me of a romanian actor/singer who also starred in an incest-based drama awhile back.  but i have to say, one thing that really jumped out at me is how much of a secret gay lucrecia is. she has so much gay energy with almost every girl she comes up against, rebeca and nadia especially, it’s insane. every time she interacts with one of the dudes it’s so weak (except with valerio, but that dynamic is not so straightforward). whenever i see her sexy-whispering to some guy it feels like she’s faking it, like she’s being a vindictive but ultimately domesticated doll. and i think she knows this too and the performance wears her down. whereas she seems to come alive with women. her obsession with being betrayed and ignored and unloved by men might also stem from the fact that no man can ever give her what she truly wants. she’s def closeted imo, and her lil friendship with omar makes so much sense in that context too. petition to give lu a gilfriend in season 3, preferably rebeca.  

- rebeca, however, is the true MVP of the season for me. omg. i love!!! her!!! so!!! much!!!  i was SO MAD everyone slept on this grl!!! she’s funny and smart and brash and loyal and sweet and justasdfgdfsda NO ONE DESERVES HER. i also think her chemistry with lu should be explored further. (i wanna write fic where rebeca and lu make out at the halloween party after lu gets dumped)

- polo is also a Problematic Fave, even though i hope he goes down lol. i really like how the actor plays him as both volatile and fragile, like a stubborn asshole but also a sniveling brat who wants to be “redeemed” on his own terms. 

- i  can’t say i cared all that much about cayetana and her “maria del bario” subplot, i mean i didn’t feel all that sorry for her, but i do like the sharp edges given to her character. and while polo/cayetana is not that interesting to me, their bonnie and clyde shenanigans promise to be a lot of fun. it makes a lot of sense that she would be the one to help him, not only because of his kindness to her, but primarily because she likes taking things. literally. she seems desperately hungry for whatever polo can offer. 

-  omar/ander was sweet as always, and i liked their ups and downs and their more emotional moments, but good god was ander a petty asshole. when omar dressed up as dr. frank-n-furter and ander was being a tool about it and the others were shaming him for, u know, having a cool costume for halloween, i was like “omar, bby, you gotta stop hanging out with uncultured swine”. that being said, ander keeping polo’s secret for so long beggared belief. i understand the impossible scenario he was in and i like that they showed the inner turmoil but...yikes, it’s murder, dude.

- samuel/carla was...fine. i liked some of their more intense scenes, feeding off each other’s anger, plus the manipulations and the mindfuckery, but it was still lacking in substance for me. i also think carla becomes less interesting around him, whereas samuel has sort of grown up this season. idk, i’m ambivalent. 

and finally...

- nadia & guzman. SIGHHHHhhhhhhhhh. the couple & characters i was most looking forward to ended up being the most disappointing part of this season for me. i kind of hate them now. okay, maybe not hate them, but i am deeply annoyed. i think nadia was poorly written this season. i have no clue who this girl is, what she really wants, what she believes in. she was made to react in a certain way or do things just to carry the plot forward or to give the viewers some steamy scenes. literally, i was so frustrated with her and the lack of internal logic. even her confession to her parents at the end and their heartfelt hug felt hollow and unearned. and guzman, oh gaaaawwwwd, this douchebag and his constant edgy angst, i get iiiiiit, we get iiiiit, i just wanted him to be dooone. i really disliked him, even when they were framing him as troubled romantic hero. the nadia/guzman scenes were absolutely rushed, i’m sorry. their first kiss??? while nadia was super drunk and we get that weird disco editing that hides both their faces and it’s so fake-artsy and devoid of feeling and underwhelming??? NOPE. i thought this would be a big deal for nadia, for both of them actually, but when i saw how quickly they rushed into it i was disappointed. most of their interactions lacked that special intimacy they had in season 1. like yeah, the chemistry was there, but the angst felt manufactured, cuz i guess both he and nadia have no problem cheating and doing whatever the hell they want.  i also found it laughable that not even 15 minutes into the first episode guzman immediately tells her about the deal he made with her father...which cheapened the whole thing. i really thought that deal would carry weight and mean something....welp, guess not. all the interesting and significant obstacles they built around these characters were now revealed as a deck of playing cards. when halfway thru the season guzman lamented how he couldn’t be with nadia due to societal constraints i laughed out loud because clearly, that’s a surface problem for them. nadia does not seem at all attached to her faith and culture, so really, what’s to stop them from being together? her family? i don’t buy it. and my problem isn’t that nadia wants to break away from her muslim heritage and be with guzman; my problem is that we don’t know what the hell she wants and it doesn’t seem to matter. once upon a time i thought she cared a lot about her schoolwork and future career...but that seems to take a backseat for the guzman drama. halfway thru the season she doesn’t hang out with rebeca and omar anymore, and it’s just...disheartening to see her be all about this really mediocre dude. not even her budding friendship with valerio goes anywhere, which was a shame. others have talked about the troubling narrative of “westernizing” nadia and portraying it as the solution to her problems and while i think the show isn’t ready to push that agenda, i also feel like they have no fucking clue who this character is. anyway, i will stop here, but i’m genuinely disappointed and idk if this can be remedied in season 3. 

so overall, i enjoyed this season more, but boyyy did it disappoint where i was most expectant 

[ofclaude]

vent post   under a readmore instead of in the tags bc i !! need to vent !!! & the point of not typing in the post is to be less in your face but this is gonna be a Lot probably lmao

i just. wish i had people around me who i actually care about & who care about me instead of them all being countries away. i live here in this place that helps me recover from trauma & integrate blahblahblah &...like.

they are literally paid to pet my head & call me sweet & go aww really :(( that sucks! & tell me the world’d be worse off without me. & it just fucking. it always gets to me. how is it supposed to not??? i want to be cared about the reason i’m suicidal is because no-one i’ve lived around ever gave a shit about me except 2 primary school teachers & one friend in high-school. people have been paid to pretend to care about me since i was born because me dying was more scandalous than paying a stranger to therapy the neglect away !!

i’m so tired. i’m so, so tired & i can’t anymore. oh, i will. i always fucking do !!! i always fucking do!! and i hate that!! because it’s never. i. ugh. i’m tired i’m tired i’m tired i’m tired i’m tired i’m tierd i’m tired i’m tired i’m tired i’m tired i’m tired i’m tired i’m tired i’m tired i’m tired i’m tired i’m tried i’m tired i’m tired i’m tired i’m tired i’m tired i’m tired i’m tired

i went to talk to my father & he !! doesn’t even remember !!! telling me to go live on the street & die in a village where i was the freak when i was 6 years fucking old because he was just qangry & well he got it off his chest didn’t he !! I FUCKING CAN’T IT’S CALLED C-PTSD FUCK YOUR ENTIRE LIFE he was a grown-ass man lashing out in a violent rage at his own goddamn child & NO-ONE. NO-ONE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT THEY’RE DOING WHEN THEY DO THAT. YOU FUCKING KNOW WHAT YOU’RE DOING WHEN YOU DO THAT, I DON’T GIVE A SHIT IF YOU FORGOT ABOUT IT!! YOU’RE STILL THE ASSHOLE WHO MADE ME SUICIDAL & MADE IT SO I KNOW I’M WORTHLESS, I KNOW NOTHING WILL EVER BE OKAY, I KNOW NOTHING WILL EVERY CHANGE THIS

& that was just one, tiny lil interaction out of 24 years of that shit. 24 years !! how am i supposed to just. work thru all of that shit without getting tired of it; yaddahyaddah make ya life better IF UCKING KNOW. HOW ABOUT NOT MAKING ME WORK FOR SMTH I NEVER CHOSE & DON’T WANT ANYMORE, HOW ABOUT DOING SOMETHING ABOU TTHE SCUMBAGS WHO GET TO JUST ‘GET BETTER’ AFTER the only reason they’re not responsible for my death is bc i got real fucking lucky. i’ve got massive endurance & i got lucky as hell. & it wouldn’t have mattered bc THEN I WOULD’VE BEEN DEAD, HUH?!?!? NO-ONE CARES! no-one does anything, & i’m sick of it. they get to kill me, but fuck forbid i do something abou tthem.

& blah that’s all feelings & trauma blah it’s not true i fucking know it’s not true. nothing’s true or fals #nihilism. doesn’t matter that’s not the point. i can do endless therapy, i can have people pet my head all day, i can talk myself out of this & that attempt because i know it won’t change anything. but i can’t change that this lives in me. it’s been years since i cut ties. he’s changed. i’ve changed, else i wouldn’t have cut ties in the first place but ok.

i still don’t want him. i still don’t like him. part of me still cries & hates me for taking my own daddy away from me!! even tho he’s the aggressive bastard who makes me want to fucking take my own life hellloooooo !?!?!? i have to put up with this shit. because i choose to live, but i didn’t get to choose what motherfuckers i was born with - not that my mother didn’t try to teach me otherwise tho !!! it’s all ur own choice uwu u made this call u wanted me for a parent !!!! except i loved myself unlike you bitches so no i did not but go off !! in ur fantasyland

it’s been 3 fucking years & i’ve done so much & i actually got myself a will to live last years. & it’s like. yay it’s better now :))))) no. it’s not. there are better things also. this is not better. it won’t get better, because there is nothing to change. & since it’s ptsd, i can’t forget either. blahblah lessen the impact IF UCKING KNOW I DO THERAPY I KNOW HOW THIS WORKS! BUT IT DOESN’T CHANG ETHE FACT MY OWN PARENTS THOUGHT IT WAS OKAY TO TEACH ME TO HATE MYSELF & THAT THE WHOLE WORLD COULD ONLY EVER HATE ME BUT I WASN’T ALLOWED TO DIE!! OR MAKE A SCENE !! THAT’D LOOK BAD HUH?? me, the village freak. diagnosed with autism cuz they traumatised me so bad it looked the goddamn same but fuck forbid ANYONE. EVER. talk to my parents !! noooo no i was the one that needed fixing. except they did that wrong too my fucking god does it never end.

i’m tired. i’m tired of living with the pieces of somebody else’s mistakes. i’m tired of being afraid of pushing away the only people i have who i do care about & who care about me, just by asking them to care about the parts of me that’ll never get better. i’m sick of hiding how tired i am. i’m sick of having to be normal & happy & good enough by all those rules that don’t belong to me just to not be as terrified of being neglected again - except this time by people who don’t owe me shit.

i always deal with everything. & i’m tired of it. i’m so, so fucking tired. i know. i know it can get better. i know i can find ways. i know. i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i KNOW. that doesn’t make it okay.

i wish it did, but it never does.

& since :))) i’m afraid of running off my friends by asking directly i’ll just ;)) vent :))) here ;)))

what do you even say to the ppl who actually care about you anyway like lmao what a joke. the better i get the more room i have to conform to being normal - & idc about how other ppl like it, i mean. bad normal. social skills apparently only mean ways, not truth. i was never taught social skills so i communicated directly, which is super good & ppl these days need to be taught that?? so much????????? but no i was awkward & didn’t have social skills. fuck you, ppl raised from the get-go with social skills are the WORST at being social bc they never had to learn another person’s language or the desperation that comes with the language barriers no-one will explain to you. i’m so tired. i’m so tired of jumping thru hoops just to  what???? get ppl to care??? get smn to care about????????? & then what. jump thru hoops some more bc now u have smn who doesn’t get u unless u filter out who you are & are left with nothing.

it’s so important to be me but the better i get the less i can do that & that’s what killed me so i gues we’re back at square one !!! let’s go back to therapy & pretend i need that when i already know how to work shit. let’s pay another person to pet my head & give me an hour of their time to vent, just because i don’t have to be afraid they’ll run. jesus christ. if i can’t be me i won’t do it. but idek if i can force myself to bemyself anymore & that’s fucking scary. learning social skills after a lifetime of being shunned just makes me more equipped to go with my terrible coping skills, which is to nix myself & just. be normal be normal be normal be normal bne nomral bne mrf oamlf be nomral. i’m tired.

& blah if u wanna post it on tumblr u gotta go on ur personal uwu ur rp blog is a vending machine no personal shit !! how dare u have a personal life that Exists lmao

[dangerliesbeforeyou]

my top 10 series of 2019~

aka i gush about shiz i watched this year for waaaaaay too long lol... 

i watched a lot of stuff this yr (well... it felt like a lot? there’s a lot more i wanted to watch but i’m terrible at time management lol...) so let’ssss explore that in a ~numbered list~ lol

(spoilers - there’s a lot of gay shit here lol... what can i say, twentybiteen really pulled thru lol)

10 - Stranger Things (series 3) 

i know some people didn’t like this series, but i legit thought it was really good lol... i felt it had gone back to the style of the 1st series a lil more? (whereas series 2 had felt a lil disappointing in a way??) & i loved all the new characters introduced (robin is a personal fav, obv), & the whole splitting off into the lil groups was really effective in not just feel like it’s always the same group together, and it also allowed for some interesting character moments!

visually, stranger things always looks amazing! but i thought the whole summer/july 4th vibes really made it especially stunning tbh... as most things on this list, i’ve only seen it once, so i would like to rewatch it at some point (actually wanna do a full stranger things marathon tbh i was trying to explain what had happened in the show to my friend who stopped watching it early in series 1 & it was so difficult to remember exactly what had happened in it lool... ) 

there were obv things about it that i wasn’t as big on, like the whole evil russian-invincible guy was v cliche and kinda silly, & some of the actions scenes were a bit awkward(?) feeling... but i’m a sucker for any 80′s style media so those things just reminded me of the goonies or some shit lol

9 - Ghosts 

actually the funniest & cutest series ever tbh!!! as someone who grew up with horrible histories with the original cast, this just made me immensely happy to see the whole team together again! the humour style is v similar to horrible histories too btw, though i feel they let themselves have a lil more ‘dark humour’ than in that (since this is more a general audience, whereas hh was definitely more aimed at kids tbh... tho they still won a comedy award for it lol! actual legends lol anyway...)

only downside is that it’s only 1 series atm & it’s pretty short... but i know there’s gonna be a new series at some point so i’m v excited for that!! i feel there’s sooooo many places they can go with the concept (i.e. exploring how/when the other characters died (like kitty!!! i need to know her story lol i love her!), maybe introducing another character who can see ghosts?? like a medium/psychic or something/etc ...) but legit, please watch this if u haven’t!!! 

8 - Good Omens

this pretty much took over the internet this year lbr lol & tbh i’d def say it was worthy of the praise!! ineffable husbands aside, the main story is super engaging and enjoyable, with some really awesome side characters (& some of my fav character designs in anything ever tbh!!) but definitely the biggest draw was the ‘6000 years mutual pining’ romance which they did so well lol & it was something that was genuinely so lovely to watch tbh!! i also really loved the ending message of the show! i really hope to rewatch this next year when i think it’s gonna be aired on british tv at last????

downsides would be that the plot can be a bit confusing at times? but maybe that’s just me being dumb lol... but i imagine it’s a lot easier to understand if u’ve read the book lol?? i don’t have a problem w/ aziraphale & crowley not being “explicitly” gay or whatnot (i know i’ve seen some people annoyed with this?), since the whole idea of their relationship is so much larger than just them bonking or whatevs lol? (in general i think more media should have less focus on kissing/intimacy as an indication of love/romance... which is something i’ve already talked about lol)

oh, and the title sequence is INCREDIBLE lol i seriously loved it so much!!

7 - Killing Eve (series 2)

finally finished this the other day & it was so good!!! i really love the dark comedic tone of the show tbh & i def feel there was more of it in the 2nd series then the first! i also liked the further development of villanelle & eve’s relationship, which is obv the highlight of the show tbh! there was also a nice lot of twists tbh, though i’d say it was a lil less intense than the 1st series? (overall i’d say i prefer the 1st series, but the 2nd was a fab continuation... btw i also watched the 1st series this yr lol)

negative points are that the plot wasn’t quite as interesting as the 1st series... i think cos the focus of the murders was taken off of villanelle that we lost some of that drama from the 1st? i thought the ghost was gonna be a more integral part but she was kinda weirdly pushed aside once we learnt her identity? & the creepy son dude just annoyed me lol (but i suppose that was the point lol...)... so like yh there were lil things that didn’t engage me as much as the first, but overall i still really enjoyed it lol

this is def fulfilling the hannibal-shaped hole in my heart tbh... (another series i finished this yr...)

6 - Dark Blue Kiss the series

look, it’s no surprise this is on my list lol... i was hella hyped for this series when it was announced last yr, even though my expectations were VERY LOW after kiss me again the series (which, lbr, is a massive mess lol... like it’s My Mess tho)... but for real, this series really exceeded all my expectations... & then some! like i’m legit shook at how good it was ngl! especially morksun’s storyline, which was by far my fav in the show (as much as i’m petekao trash lol...) also, i was surprised by how genuinely pretty this show is! esp in comparison to kma (like i know i keep going on about the goddamn bruise makeup but it is so ugly in kma, but they really did a great job in dbk tbh!)

ok so there’s a lot of flaws lol... like... a lot (i’m already complained a lot so i won’t bore u with that rn lol...) but for real, the thing that i love the most about this is the discussions of coming out/homophobia/general young people struggles/etc etc which is so refreshing to see in these series! like i love that despite the cheesy tropes, it still knows when to be serious & genuine...

5 - He Is Coming To Me

another thai series, i believe this has the same director as dbk? (don’t hold me to that tho...)... legit one of the best, if not the best, thai series i’ve ever seen tbh! so adorable, so well acted, so funny & heartwarming like... legit it’s so good!! i was already excited about it from the trailer, but the way it really delivered on the emotionality, whilst keeping it lighthearted, was truly wonderful tbh! the main actors did a brill job i gotta say, and all the side characters were amazing too (there really wasn’t a character i didn’t like i’d say tbh? i need to rewatch tbh... there’s a lot i’ve forgotten since this came out p early in the year lol)... also, visually it’s so pretty!! i swear the cinematography in these thai series just keeps getting better & better & it def improves the watching experience tbh!

a down point would be that the first ep is a bit slow/awkward to get in to... & i think it def could put someone off? but i’d say to stick w/ it since it just keeps getting better & better! i’d actually say there isn’t really anything else i didn’t like about it ngl? it’s just so good guys... u really need to watch it!

4 - Russian Doll 

probs the only series on this list that i actually actively went to rewatch straight away lol (didn’t do a full rewatch btw)... it was SO good for real! i already loved the premise lol (it’s basically groundhog day, which is already such a great film, but they explored those ideas even more in this which i loveeeed) the leads are fantastic, and the story is generally so interesting!  plus the editing & song choices are really brill tbh... 

my one complaint would probs be that the series loses a lil momentum at certain points (esp later in the series), but it still keeps ur interest, and the ending is really well done too! i know there’s gonna be a 2nd series, so i’m really hoping it’ll be able to live up to this one, and also explore more of the characters/concepts/etc! i’m def hyped for it tbh!  

i feel like this series is simultaneously underrated and also v well known lol?? like i know everyone sees that ‘thursday! what a concept’ meme but i feel like i didn’t see as many people talk about it as much as other series this yr??? 

(for my top 3, i’d say i love them all equally/for different reasons... so the order they’re in is changeable lol)

3 - Gentleman Jack

one of the greatest bbc series of the year, maybe even the decade lol! actually a masterpiece of cinematography, incredible acting, gorgeous costumes, beautiful depictions of love and intimacy, hilarious characterisation & just generally a wonderful series!! like i can’t praise it enough! it’s literally everything i could ever want from a series, and more!!!!!!! like everytime i think about it i just feel like ‘!!!!!’ constantly lol... like... what did we do to deserve such a series for real?? something that i esp loved was that i vividly remember not that long ago w/ people complaining about the bbc for having minor lgbtq characters in things, so to have a actual main lesbian couple series be on prime time bbc telly is kinda mind blowing lol... like.. i know we’ve got a long way to go, but it does make me immensely proud!! 

i have no complaints lol... other than - needed to be longer (i think we’re getting a 2nd series right???? i hope so tbh!!)

2 - The Untamed 

look, i don’t make 15 piece series’ for nothing lol... this show really got to me ngl... like i knew it was gonna be amazing from seeing tonnes of mutuals start watching it & praising it.. .but ohhhhhhhh boy i wasn’t reading for the angst and heartbreak and just generally how invested i’d be in all the characters lol... like genuinely there’s so much to praise about this show! it may not be as super ‘polished’ as some of the other shows on this list, but it really has so much heart and hard work and dedication put into it which really shows in the final  product!

there’s obv issues with it, but i feel like it’s kinda unnecessary to go over them lol? there’s so much more of this series that has brought me genuine joy, the biggest being the fact they were still able to depict a really beautiful, loving and /romantic/ relationship despite the strict censor is truly incredible lol!! like w/ good omens, it just shows what you can do to depict love/romance without having to over-sexualise something...

i feel like i’m saying less for these top 3, but it’s just cos i’ve already gush to high heavens about how much i love them lol... 

1 - HIStory 3 - Trapped

you - *pretends to be shocked that this is my number 1*

yeh... no surprises that this is in my top 3 lol... what can i say that i haven’t already screamed about for months??? this series truly surpassed any expectations i could have had for a HIStory series... the story line is complex & pretty well done (it’s not perfect... but nothing is so....), the characters are wonderful & also brilliantly acted! i think the thing that i love the most is that the director wanted to create a series that wasn’t just a cheesy gay series (don’t get me wrong, i loVE cheesy gay series’ lol... ) but also would have a more interesting, well developed & more ‘mature’ story line (i think esp in comparison to other HIStory series’ which are usually school/uni based)... it’s also one of the few lgbtq series i’ve seen that isn’t just about ‘first loves’, and doesn’t place a big emphasis on a sexuality/identity crisis... it’s just so unabashedly a mystery-romance drama, which is just so refreshing to see! & i genuinely hope we can see more series like this, where gay characters don’t need to ‘prove’ themselves in order to be in a series or to be in relationships (which it often feels like, where writers need to explain /why/ characters are gay...)...  

phew... that’s a lot of text lol, just like w/ the untamed, i feel like i’ve already talked about the negative points of the series (plot holes, awkward moments, weird editing/sound choices, bad tropey plots), but the positives of this series seriously make it worthwhile, and i’m just so so SO happy this show exists lol...

all 3 of these series have a special place in my heart of inspiring lots of my own exploration of art, as well as writing, which has been really crucial in me understanding what i wanna do with my life (i know that sounds kinda weird, but at the start of the year i really didn’t know what i wanted... and i wasn’t even sure what i was good at lol... so thru these shows i was able to discover a lot more about my own style of working & thru all of them i was able to meet some wonderful new people on here which has made 2019 actually one of my most enjoyable years on tumblr! 

this has been an...... interesting year lol... but definitely these shows made it just a lil bit better!!! 

Happy new year to anyone who actually read thru this & let’s hope 2020 brings us even more brill shows ~~~