#and I was thinking of putting them up there for like. $5 because it's just a digital file. but that comes out to like 40 cents an hour

[shackleton2]

it's true and I say this as an avid binge-watcher who in the stone age had to look up transcripts of episodes because I couldn't wait THREE ENTIRE DAYS OF MY LIFE FOR NETFLIX TO MAIL ME THE NEXT DVD

Seasons of TV released as one fat drop of 8-12 1-1.5hr episodes, literally being told THIS IS FOR YOU TO BINGE IN ONE INSANE SITTING is the exact definition of my dreams and desires.

......why are they no good??

I can definitely think of exceptions, but "both of them have too much time and not enough time for the characters to struggle and grow and change," as it's well-put above, does seem to be the rule more and more. But what does that phrase really mean??

I saw something recently weighing in on this and saying series in particular seem to think every single thing depicted on screen has to move the story forward, possibly because everything is angled to encourage "binging". It's funny because that sounds like it should do the opposite of making the story feel ponderous and pointless!! So what's going on?

Maybe it's because Real Life™ isn't constantly moving towards one plot resolution, so the more you write a story where that's true, the more impossible true immersion for the viewer becomes?

But also I think actively designing a series to be compulsively watched in one or two massive sittings is hurting them as stories. Maybe it's because bingeing, especially as it's understood in other contexts, is not about enjoying something massively good, at least not after the initial part.

We all know this, right? You don't binge on something because it's just sooooo good. Are there people out there who have never done any kind of binge? Maybe so, so I'll tell you because I surely have: it's inertia. A really scary kind, to be honest, that feels, after a while of getting acclimated to nonstop-consuming the thing, like an absolute involuntary need. Because the second I stop eating the family sized bag of chips, stop taking another drink, stop lighting another smoke, reality will come rushing back in place of the comfort-stimulus. And in reality I am not experiencing joy or even pleasure, I am experiencing the kind of existential horror you get when you try to convince yourself you don't actually have to deal with your own mind. This 100% applies to letting the next episode autoplay after 5 hours of watching one story unfold.

Sorry I got kinda dark there, but the point I'm trying to illustrate is that I don't think you NEED a GOOD PRODUCT in order to get people to binge. And, well, that shows more and more with this "content" streaming services are releasing.

True Blood was a hot mess in so many ways and my mental health sure as shit was too but holy shit watching that obsessively years back was so FUN. That show and other story-loves of mine feel different from stuff getting released in full-season streaming dumps right now, and I don't think it's quality of writing or acting or effects or anything else making the difference as much as whether a show seems to genuinely LIKE itself, or whether it's counting on you finding it preferable enough to reality to let the next episode play and thus get good stats.

we need 15-20 episode seasons again these limited series have the worst pacing in the world and none of the character decisions hold any weight

[magnoliapromenadegalleria]

I take no issue with monetizing cc. You release good content and have an agreeable release window, I either choose to subscribe, or I wait. Cool. What I do take issue with is this

Perma-paywalls or ridiculous early access release windows. Anything exceeding thirty days is excessive. My opinion.

2. New creators setting up immediate early access. The skillset is just not there yet to put a price on your creations. You barely have a base to sell to. This includes creators who created for other games, then come over to The Sims and try to sell to us. For example, the creator that makes skins and admitted they don't even play the game. Simply here for profit.

3. Creators that do not qc their work, or steal from other creators. Girl.

4. Customer service. Once you start creating for profit, whether it be supplemental or your main source, you have to have a level of customer service and professionalism. You have now started a brand. A very niche brand, but that's what it is. You cannot be short with people for asking valid questions and catching an attitude with them. Like that one lady with the tree coming out in February. If you are one of those rare creators who is lucky enough money to hire someone to handle your social media, I suggest you do that. Or supply a friend with more patience with their favorite coffee or something and let them handle it. Something.

5. Not interacting with the community you are trying to sell to. Connect with people. Repost their edits, lookbooks, builds, leave comments, give a like. The creator mentioned above commented that no one comments on their stuff, at least not here. Fair. This community does not talk like it used to, but to each other like it used to, but you can go to creator pages and see that they are perfectly curated advertisements. Like a showroom. No reblogs of anyone using their content. If you want that for your main page fine, but at least have another side blog where you can do the outlined above.

6. Pushing something out just to push it. I think we have entered a space, both creator and follower/consumer, where everything feels so fast-paced. What's the new thing coming out, what's next, etc. So much so that I think it has made creators push out content just to keep up, especially if they rely on that income. This has resulted in some creators getting into hot water for releasing the same item(s) in different sets and in different colors. Or creators releasing duplicates of the same thing. It can be frustrating, but I question if it is because they're just trying to keep up, or afraid to try something new or different in fear of it not doing well. Some smaller creators who create different content don't get as much love and I question if they would receive more if they followed the wave, or were big enough to start one.

Now to this community

If a creator disrespects you or others or moves in a way that you don't fundamentally agree with, and you complain but still download and or advertise their content, you're moving counterproductive to your plight. Why would anyone reflect on themselves when you prove that you're going to advertise their content anyway?

2. Show love to these creators. Big and small, especially small, monetized or not. Everyone likes to hear or see that what they release is valued. Don't harass or disrespect creators if they take a break, or they don't get something out quickly. Especially the modders.

3. Interact with each other. Even if your aesthetics or different. This is a community. If you see something you like, LIKE IT. Share it, leave a comment.

4. Create the thing simmer. The edit, cc, build, lookbook, whatever. Create the thing and share the thing. Even if it isn't part of a popular trend or aesthetic.

I'm speaking about myself here too because I want to better about this.

I want this to feel fun again. Not just based on what is in at the moment.

This might be read. Might not. Just my two Abes. Anyway I'm about to make some soup from scratch. Toodles!

[skiagraphe0]

My father was put on Ozempic. He's diabetic. It being prescribed for a group it was designed for doesn't make it less dangerous. He is 5"9 and currently weighs 130 lbs - and that's after a year and a half of trying to recover the muscle he lost from being on it for six months. Because he's an immigrant whose first language isn't English and he has the equivalent of an 8th grade education, his medical and scientific knowledge is extremely limited. He trusted his doctor. If she said this was good for him, he believed it must be. If she said that being thin was a sign of health, he thought surely she must know what she was talking about - and his parents were olive farmers with thin, lean bodies, so that must be how health works, right?

He had a stroke. He lost 65 pounds in six months. He became so weak he struggled to stand without getting dizzy. At his lowest weight, when he had his stroke, I could see his spine. He had heart palpitations and struggled to speak in English because when your brain is chronically starved of nutrients, it often defaults to your first language/cannot process speaking/hearing others. His short term memory worsened.

I'm the only person here who speaks his first language. As in, there's less than fifty thousand people in the United States who speak it at all, and we're on the opposite side of the country from the one community of Uzbeks in the US. Imagine being too weak to sit up, unable suddenly to understand everyone around you, elderly, in pain you've never experienced before, and the one person who could help you has to rush home from France to Montana to get there. For three days he was in the hospital without any way of communicating with or to the medical personnel there. I blew through my savings to get back to him as fast as possible but I know, deep down, that there's unspoken, vast amounts of trauma from those three days he spent in effectively involuntary isolation.

All because he trusted his doctor, who assured him that thin = healthy, that if she said a medication was good, it had to be good for him. He wasn't even overweight to start with. Muscle weighs more than fat and he used to have muscle, but even with that, his BMI - which is an inaccurate, medically debunked BS method doctors insist on treating like fact - classified him as normal. But normal wasn't good enough. He needed to be thin to be seen as healthy.

Diabetics aren't being put on this to regulate their blood sugar, not all the time. Some of them are. Some of them have doctors who think being thin is the single most important thing/the best indicator of health.

I know I struggle with an eating disorder so this may sound like hypocrisy coming from me but: your life is more important than your weight.

Your life is more important than anything and everything about your appearance.

Just because a doctor suggests something doesn't make it safe.

I have been debating sharing this for some time, but with the new year weight loss ads amping up, I feel it's something I have to say. I'm worried for people's health.

Unless you've been living under a rock, you probably already know about people taking the diabetic drug ozempic for weight loss. You've probably heard the debates about the ethics of taking needed drugs away from diabetes patients and maybe even the side effect of "ozempic face." However, there is one side effect of taking these drugs that, in my opinion, people are not being warned about.

If you carefully pay attention to the television ads, you will hear them mention "pancreatitis" as a possible side effect. If you're like me a decade ago, that word probably means nothing to you. Let me warn you, however, it is no minor thing. My husband suffered from chronic pancreatitis for five agonizing years. The pain is beyond comprehension. Doctors who specialize in the pancreas describe it as the worst pain a human can endure. There is no actual cure. Little is understood about the disease, so treatment is difficult. Doctors who understand it are few and far between. It took my husband forever to get diagnosed. He went through multiple surgeries and procedures, but nothing worked. He had to go on an extremely limiting diet. If he varied from it in any way, he would have an attack. The only way to recover from an attack was to not eat at all for days, then slowly add in broth and jello. Did he lose weight? Yes. As a matter of fact, one day he stepped out of the shower, and I burst into tears at the sight of him. He was skin and bones - I could count every rib. Was it worth it to be thin? If you even ask that question, I'm concerned for your mental health.

They couldn't figure out exactly why my husband got pancreatitis. At that time, they thought only alcoholics and drug addicts got pancreatitis. This made it difficult to get compassionate medical care, unfortunately. Now they know that prescription medication (particularly diabetic medication) and high cholesterol can also cause it. Then there is another group - where they just don't know. But you better believe I would hesitate to take any medication that could cause pancreatitis. I would weigh my options carefully to assess if it was worth the risk. In my opinion, weight loss is not worth that risk.

My concern has been heightened seeing the Hers commercials for these drugs (under different names, but rest assured, it is the same thing). These commercials brag that you can get these drugs from Hers with just a simple virtual call, no questions asked. I wonder if people are fully aware of the risks of these drugs. I also wonder if we even know all of the risks yet. I also fear that the culture around these drugs could develop into an us vs. them mentality. That if it's so easy to be thin, why wouldn't you be? And some are getting dangerously thin on these drugs.

I know some diabetics who are on these drugs, and necessarily so. They tell me that it causes nausea when they eat. That's why they don't eat much. Again, that doesn't sound like a pleasant way to live. If you need it to regulate your blood sugar, that's one thing. But if you don't? Why would you do this to yourself?

My husband is now healed of pancreatitis. It was a miracle. You may not believe in that sort of thing, but I'm telling you, there is no other explanation. We had exhausted every medical solution, then the pandemic hit. We were concerned because hospitals were only taking life or death cases. What if he had a bad attack and needed an iv of pain meds? What would we do? Weeks passed - no pain. A month passed - no pain. Six weeks passed - no pain. He decided to grill a steak - something he hadn't been able to even take a nibble of in 5 years. I watched him take a bite, holding my breath. Nothing. He ate the whole thing. No pain. Five years later, still no pain. The doctors can't explain it, either.

So our story has a happy ending. Not everyone else's does. I hope people take the time to read this. If you do, please, please share it. I don't want anyone suffering needlessly.

[7seas-of-ryy]

Crestfallen - Part 5

Author’s Note: My plans got canceled last night so I ended up finishing this part earlier than expected!! Part 6 has already been started and will hopefully be out within the next 2 days! :)

Overall Summary: Although you were born in the Day Court, you've been living in the Night Court for a century. You're close with the inner circle but what will happen when a new healer is brought into the picture?

Part 5 Summary: After waking up, your fight has only just begun.

Pairing: Azriel x Reader

Warnings: talks of injuries

"I need Rhys or Feyre." You blurted.

Azriel just stared at you, looking confused yet relieved.

"Now!" You demanded once you noticed he wasn't moving.

His shadows swallowed him up taking him to find either of the two.

Feyre winnowed in with Az within moments, Rhys showing up separately quick after.

"Look in my mind" You panted, still out of breath feeling the new power thrumming through you.

Your High Lady and High Lord both looked in your mind as you replayed for them all you had been through. They saw how you were awake and felt everything. They saw how vulnerable and weak you felt. And they saw the mystery inside of you was definitely a new power.

"What was it, what power was that? I've never seen it before." Feyre muttered, confused at everything that was going on.

She was away meeting with a few other courts, Rhys had spoken to her letting her know what was going on and she came back right away. Thinking you were still unconscious, she began helping her mate research instead of visiting you. They were both holed up in the library when Az appeared bringing them here.

"I'm not sure. I can feel it but I can't access it, can't control it." You mumbled.

Az stood behind both Rhys and Feyre, watching you as if he'd seen a ghost. You noticed his staring and gave him a questioning look. He cleared his throat before speaking.

"You're awake." He stated simply.

Feyre, Rhys and you all shared a look with each other.

"It's just...you were unconscious minutes ago and Madja said we would need to figure out a treatment. And now you just...sat up and are talking to us like normal?" He elaborated.

"I don't really understand it either but I do know I was awake the entire time. I felt your shadows in my mind, I knew you were there." You uttered, "But I am still very confused on a ton of things as well."

"It was Clara.." Az mumbled.

More memories came flooding back to you. Everything Clara did replayed in your mind. You remembered the powder she blew in your face and most of all, you remembered how Az didn't believe you.

"We learned she wasn't trying to kill you. She was trying to make you sick to impress Az by helping you and making you better again." Rhys informed you.

"Oh that makes it all better, she didn't mean to almost end my life, just harm me severely. I suppose I should forgive her and pretend everything is fine." You snarled.

"I didn't say that. Cassian and Nesta are handling it right now. She will be held in the dungeon until she has served her time." Rhys told you with an understanding voice.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you. I'm just overwhelmed right now." You apologized.

Rhys gave you a small smile and a nod, he didn't hold it against you. Feyre put her hand on your shoulder to show you she was there for you.

The pair were already thinking about this newfound power you held. They needed to make sure you were 100% alright and inform Madja about what had happened. They let you know what they were going to do and winnowed away to find the healer.

"I'm so glad you're alright. You have no idea how terrified I-" Az started to tell you.

"I have no idea how terrified you were? I was being poisoned, felt my powers draining and I told you. I told you and you didn't believe me. Do you know how scared and alone I felt?" You cut him off, "No you have no idea. I felt strands of my soul being plucked apart, venom being torn out of my very being because of her...and you...you told me my mind was playing tricks on me."

You finished your short rant with a sob, tears started to flood your face.

"I will never be able to make this up to you but I swear on my life that I will never stop trying. I am so terribly sorry for not believing you." He sobbed.

"No. I needed help, I needed you and you ignored me. Made me feel crazy. You do realize you held me down while she cut me open. I bit down on your belt while she sliced me with her blade." You cried.

Azriel was now on his knees next to the bed. His own tears matching yours, although he was not crying for himself. No, he was crying for you. Minutes past, the only sound in the room was the combination of your sobs, like a symphony of sorrows.

You sniffled, willing your tears to dry.

"You chose someone you've known for 2 weeks over someone you've known for 100 years," you croaked out, "and for that, I do not know if I can ever forgive you."

Azriel looked up into your eyes, truly realizing the extent of what he had done when the door suddenly shot open. Mor stood there looking frantic.

"There's a terrible storm outside right now. We need to take cover. The wards that are protecting this house should keep us safe but I don't want to risk anything with Y/N right now." She warned us.

"A storm?" Your confusion was evident on your face.

"Yes. Rain, thunder, lightning, tornadoes, the whole nine yards." She confirmed as she worked quickly to gather things you might need.

You tried to move from the bed but your wounds were deeper than skin level. Your soul had been wounded.

"I don't think I can move." You faltered.

"I got you." Az offered, starting to pick you up.

Quickly you flinched away from him, not wanting to be near him. There was a loud boom of thunder and you could hear the wind picking up. After hesitating a few seconds, you let him carry you out of there to a safer room with less windows.

The three of you made your way to a room downstairs and Az placed you on a couch nearby. Anxiety began to quickly consume your mind and Mor must have sensed it.

"Hey, don't worry. There's never been a storm that destroyed this house. The wards were placed by Rhys himself so we should be ok. This is just an extra safety precaution." Mor said with certainty.

You didn't think it was possible but after a couple minutes the storm seemed to pick up even more. The wind outside was so loud now you couldn't hear yourself think.

Mor sat on the floor next to you with her arm protectively over you. A loud crash could be heard and the sound of glass breaking was too close for comfort. The look on Mor's face did nothing to bring you solace.

Realization that they had never seem a storm like this hit and Az wrapped his arms around you and Mor, stretching his wings to surround the three of you.

It only lasted a couple minutes longer, then you could hear it starting to settle. Once it sounded like it was over completely, he withdrew his wings and the three of you looked around. The room you were in was untouched but you needed to check everywhere else.

"I need to go make sure everything is alright." Azriel stated.

"I'll stay here with Y/N and try to contact Rhys and Feyre." Mor told the male.

He gave her a nod and winnowed away.

"I've never seen anything like that. I can't imagine how hard the town was hit, I hope everyone is ok." Mor mumbled.

You felt what could only be described as waves going through your body. Unsure if it was anxiety or your power, you tried to calm it. Hours later, the feeling was still there and no one had shown up yet.

"I'm getting a little worried, no one is responding to me." Mor told you.

"I'll be fine, you can go find them." You reassured her.

Giving you a quick hug, she took off in search of your friends and family. She was only gone for about a half hour when she returned, her face pale.

Rhys, Feyre, and Madja were with her as well.

"Is everyone ok?" You asked hurriedly.

"Everyone is fine." Feyre whispered.

"That's a relief..." You trailed off seeing the looks on their faces.

"We need you to listen to what we say and understand that is doesn't change anything. None of us are hurt, Cass and Nesta are fine. Everything is ok." Rhys spoke calmly.

"If that's the case, why are you guys looking at me like that?" You questioned.

The four of them shared looks with each other and Feyre kneeled down next to the couch you were laying on.

"We think the storm might have been...you." She carefully informed you.

"What??" You breathed.

"We think your new power is somehow connected to the weather. Rhys noticed it first, there's no other way to explain it besides the wind felt like you. We all know you didn't do anything on purpose." Feyre continued to explain to you with a soothing voice.

"I did that?" You spoke in disbelief.

Mor tapped Rhys and looked around. They could feel the electricity in the air, another storm. This time, likely caused by the news you were recieving. They knew they needed to act fast.

"We know it's new and you can't control it. Please let me subdue your mind right now while we figure it out. If you unleash another storm, the consequences might be too severe." Rhys told you, tears forming in his eyes at seeing his friend go through this.

You agreed right away, nodding your head yes. You couldn't bare causing any more damage. Rhys gave you a small, sad smile and you could feel him at the gate in your mind, asking to be let in even though you just gave him permission.

"We will be right by your side the entire time." Feyre whispered to you.

You opened the gate for Rhys and sleep quickly took over. As soon as they were certain your mind was subdued, Mor spoke up.

"You can come out now." She announced.

Azriel walked out from his hiding place behind the door.

"I still don't agree with this." He mumbled.

"You saw what happened the last time she spoke to you. If she saw you, another storm would have been imminent." Rhys hissed at his brother.

"No I mean, I don't agree with keeping it from her. She deserved to know the truth." He retorted.

"The truth," Rhys huffed a laugh, "You think it would've been smart to tell her what actually happened? That the storm she caused destroyed many homes in town, injured over 20 civilians, and killed two of them? She's been through enough. She didn't need to hear that even if it wouldn't have caused another storm."

Azriel looked down at his shoes, guilty and crestfallen.

"We need to get to work right away. Create some kind of ward or contraption that can contain her power when we wake her up." The Night Court High Lord informed the group.

"I think I can help with that." A voice spoke suddenly from behind all of them.

They all turned to see Helion, the High Lord of the Day Court standing there.

"You know I love to make a grand entrance." He spoke with a grin.

Taglist

@rcarbo1 @acourtofbatboydreams @bravo-delta-eccho @tele86 @theravenphoenix26

@anoneyesee @ren-ni @kabekusa @isa1b2h3 @i-am-infinite

@historygeekqueen @mariahoedt @fr0stf4ll @chelsiemp @romantasyreader28

@kissesfromnovalie @plants-w0rld @halo-mystic @bookishbishhh

[the-witty-pen-name]

The Love Triangle from Hell (1)

Steve Harrington x F!Reader / Eddie Munson x F!Reader

Synopsis: Nancy is with Jonathan; Steve is still in love with Nancy; You're in love with Steve; Eddie's in love with you; Robin just wanted to have a movie night but everyone is making it weird.

Word Count: 3.4k

Warnings: messy messy feelings; unrequited love; cursing; arguments; crying; angst angst angsty angst; drinking; Robin literally just trying to live her life but her friends are all idiots

A/N: I'm going to let y'all decide who our reader ends up with for this one- please let me know who you think our reader should pick! I think this will be another 5 part series. Please let me know what you think! Comments and reblogs and hitting up my asks are always so so so appreciated.

This series with be 18+ in later chapters MINORS DNI

It was always Nancy. No matter what it always came back to Nancy. It happened over and over and over like a broken record. Like a glutton for punishment, you always went back for more thinking to yourself this time it’s going to be different. Squished on the lumpy loveseat with Robin, you watch Steve as he watches Nancy. You were pathetic and you knew it. Hopelessly in love with someone who’d never in a million years look at you the way he’s looking at her.

Eddie sits on the floor between your legs with his back rested against the front of the couch as you aimlessly braid his hair. You run your fingers through his hair, carefully navigating through the tangles. You pull strains and weave them together without needing to think about it- you’ve done it a million times before. Eddie would let you do whatever you wanted, he loved the feeling of your hands in his hair. He’d lean his head back as far as he could manage, and shoot you an upside down smile. It always made you giggle before you would use your palm to gently put his head back into place. 

It was quite a sight for Robin, like the most fucked daytime drama never written, if she knew how to read the room and pick up on the very obvious clues before her. Steve, her platonic soulmate and best friend, pining over his ex-girlfriend while you, her other best friend, pine over Steve and all the while Eddie, Steve’s roommate and your other best friend, pines over you. It was enough to make her sick. All the while, Nancy is completely oblivious as she checks her watch, waiting expectantly for Jonathan- her actual boyfriend- to arrive. Despite the mess before her, Robin was none the wiser. 

She knew Steve was still hung up on Nancy, because he never shut up about her during their shifts. However, you felt you kept your lovesick crush on Steve under pretty good wraps. Unfortunately, Eddie was so preoccupied with you that he felt it every time your eyes were on Steve or he’d witnessed all the small things you’d do that convinced him you actually liked Steve. 

He’d watch as you couldn’t make eye contact with Steve, looking everywhere but him when he spoke. He’d watch the way you’d steal glances at him when you thought no one else was looking. He’d see the way you’d take a deep breath to compose yourself when you’d see Steve looking at Nancy. The same way you’d break your own heart looking around for Steve, he’d be doing the same looking at you watching him. 

You’d watched one too many movies where the guy realizes the right girl all along was his best friend. You thought if you were patient, Steve would realize he’d been in love with you the whole time and he never realized it. If you’re there for him in his times of heartbreak, he’d see that you’re so much better for him than anyone else. He’d see you, really see you, and know you were the one who was always there. 

“This movie doesn’t make any sense,” Robin said suddenly before reaching for the bowl of popcorn at the coffee table.

“Anthony Michael Hall is making a robot girlfriend because he can’t get girls,” Steve explains, coming off a little perturbed that Robin was talking during the movie again. 

“They could’ve just asked out a couple of more girls- they didn’t need to let their end all be all be two girls with boyfriends,” she continues and Steve scoffs. He couldn’t believe he was really about to have a debate on realism with Robin right now over fucking Weird Science. 

“This’ll actually happen one day,” Eddie muses and is met with four heads whipping around to give him the same weird look. “You’re telling me that like fifty years from now, no one will have this figured out? AV geeks are desperate enough- Ow!” You’d hit him playfully on the back of the head. 

“You’re not one to criticize anyone for being desperate, Munson,” Steve chuckles and Eddie promptly flips him off. “You don’t exactly have them lining up for you either.”

“It’s been a pretty dry few years yourself King Steve,” Eddie mocks, and you see Steve crack his knuckles nervously, hating the conversation going down this road. No one meant for it to happen, but now you’re all wrapped up reflecting in your own loneliness that the mood of the evening was almost completely dampened. 

“Can you guys be quiet,” Nancy chastises, “Some of us are trying to actually watch the movie.”

“You cannot be serious?” Robin giggles, “It’s a stupid movie, Nance.” 

The night took a weird shift. Jonathan did eventually stroll in and Nancy was understandably hurt that he was so late. He pulled a kitchen chair over to sit next to where Nancy sat but she promptly decided to ignore him, silently stewing instead of causing a scene. Steve recoiled back into his own head- Eddie’s King Steve comment affecting him more than he thought it would. He watched Anthony Michael Hall and kept wondering if this would be his fate- no bitches. Had he really been that guy to have peaked in high school and then is destined to end up alone?

Steve’s comment towards Eddie made him also get lost in his own stream of self deprecating thoughts. He knew Steve was joking- but there was truth to it that made it sting. Eddie didn’t have a lot of experience with girls, most girls- hell including the one he was actually in love with- wanted really nothing to do with him. He wasn’t that guy. Girls didn’t look at him like that like they looked at Steve- how you looked at Steve. It made him jealous and sad and made him feel so painstakingly lonely despite being in a room full of his closest friends as you played with his hair. He could scream. 

And as usual, you preoccupied yourself with Steve- thinking about what Steve could be thinking about or watching the way Steve anxiously rubbed his palms against his jeans. Was Steve thinking about Nancy? Maybe, just maybe, you could catch him looking at you, even if just once. Maybe Steve would get up and go to the kitchen, and it could be an opening for you to check in with him since he’s seemed off tonight. You felt hopeless. 

Robin just assumed most people were quiet because they genuinely were watching the movie, but she realized something was wrong when she was the only person laughing. It couldn’t be that she was the only one who wanted to crack jokes or laugh at this godforsaken movie. She eventually caught on to something brewing in the air amongst her friends and it was incredibly unsettling. 

“GOD! I can’t take it anymore!” She exclaims, and everyone jumps. “What is wrong with everybody tonight? You all are acting so effing weird and I can’t stand it.” 

“Everyone’s fine, Robin,” you offer, trying to diffuse the tension. She shooks you a look. A “do you think I’m fucking stupid” look that could kill. Fair enough, you think to yourself. 

“Clearly something is wrong,” she reiterates. Annoyed with Nancy, Jonathan takes the bait and casts the first stone. 

“I don’t know,” Jonathan muses, looking at Nancy before letting out his irritation, “Might have to do with the fact you hang around with your ex all the time- and it’s clearly obvious he still has feelings for you.” 

Nancy gasps, offended that Jonathan would bring a fight that they’d had before into the room for everyone to comment on. Jonathan knew how Steve felt, and Nancy’s refusal to acknowledge his concerns on numerous occasions has finally made Jonathan hit his breaking point. He needed her to realize that he wasn’t jealous of Steve- but Steve was jealous of him. Nancy denied that Steve still held feelings for her. She was actually oblivious. 

“Steve and I are just friends!” Nancy insists, “I have told you that and told you that! It’s like you don’t trust me!”

“I don’t trust him!” Jonathan emphasizes. “Whether you want to acknowledge it or not, he still likes you and you still keep hanging around with him when you’re supposed to be with me, Nance.”

“I am with you! I’m your girlfriend, not his,” she snaps. “Steve, come on, please tell him he’s being ridiculous.” 

Most unfortunately, Steve stutters. He hesitates and fumbles, and couldn’t lie fast enough. The pregnant seconds where he’s at a loss for words tells Jonathan everything he needs to know. It doesn’t feel good to know he was right. 

“Sounds about right,” Jonathan scoffs.

“It’s not her fault-” Steve tried to interject. 

“Stay out of it Steve,” Jonathan sighs, “please.”

This fight was not about Steve, and everyone knew it. This was about Jonathan, and the way he hurt when Nancy dismissed his feelings. It was about how she didn’t take his concerns seriously or ever was willing to talk about it. He was sick of being dismissed as paranoid or jealous. He knew Nancy had no idea how Steve felt, but it wasn’t an excuse to inadvertently gaslight him when he knew something felt off. 

“I’m going home,” Nancy says, sitting up suddenly in hopes of making a swift exit to save her pride. 

“Nope!” Robin interjects, “We aren’t done. I’m not letting any of you leave until all of it is out in the open. I can’t go on like this. You guys are my best friends and we are working all of this shit out.” She takes a steady breath and Nancy surprisingly sits back down calmly. “So props to Jonathan for getting the ball rolling,” Robin quips, “let’s actually keep talking things out, yeah?”

“Steve?” Nancy looks at him, and she looks hurt. She feels so betrayed- like all of the times they’ve spent together as friends has been a lie. A ruse to win her back- she feels lied to and like she’s simultaneously lost a friend in the same breath. It guts her. She’s too stunned to even know what to say. 

Steve keeps his head down, too ashamed to look at anyone. He holds his head in his hands. You watch him intently, you absorb all his hurt like a sponge. You keep your gaze on him, wanting to reach out and comfort him. You look like a puppy who's been hit on the nose with a newspaper and Eddie scoffs. 

“Something you’d like to share with the class, Munson?” Robin turns, picking up on Eddie’s disgust. He shakes his head and avoids her knowing gaze. Fuck it, he thinks to himself. 

“I’m fucking pissed,” Eddie announces, standing up. The braid you were in the process of making slowly unravels as he moves. He looks to you and then to Steve. “I’m not even pissed at anyone, I’m just stewing in my own self-hatred because I’m in love with her.” Eddie points to you dramatically, not even realizing how much he’s revealing as his emotions get the best of him. “But she’s so in love with you,” Eddie points a finger at Steve, “That she doesn’t even notice me.”

“I don’t even blame anyone- of course you love Steve, you know? It just fucking sucks because I watch you and you’re always watching him and you keep hoping he’s going to see you and he never does. Meanwhile, I’m so in love with you that it physically hurts and I can never tell you because you’re my best friend and Steve is my best friend. And if you like her back, Steve, you should go for it. I can’t even put myself out there cause scenario one, I lose you,” Eddie gestures to you. “Scenario two- Steve gets his head out of his ass and you two finally get together. I lose both of you, because I can’t put myself through watching someone I’m in love with be with someone else. Or scenario three- you and I do get together and I’m all in- I swear to god, I would be all fucking in. But would you ever even love me as much as you’ve loved him? I don’t know.” 

It’s your turn to be stunned. For the first time, Steve’s looking at you and it’s not at all what you hoped it would be. You recognize the look in his eye, it’s the same way Nancy was just looking at him. Pity. You know then and there that Steve never once thought about you the way you hoped he secretly did. It was all made up in your head. Eddie looks defeated, and mortified all at the same time. He shocked himself at his outburst. He’d always been one for dramatics but never at your expense. He feels so guilt ridden that he could shrivel up and let the world swallow him whole. 

“I, uh, need to get some air,” you say. You grab your jacket from the hook and slide on your shoes in one fluid motion. “I’ll be back,” you say quickly, slamming the door behind you as you left Eddie and Steve’s apartment. You can’t help as the tears stream down your face uncontrollably. It’s one of those cries where it’s so hard you can’t even make noise as it takes all of your breath away. You’re practically doubled over in the midst of a panic attack when Eddie finds you leaning against the building. 

“Sweetheart, I’m so sorry,” he says earnestly, “That was so fucked up. I am so, so sorry. That wasn’t fair to you, that was such a shitty thing for me to say.” 

You manage to nod to let him know you heard him, but you’re blubbering and you’re still struggling to get your breath back. Hiccuped breaths finally catch up to you and you feel your lungs slowly begin to refill with air. The night’s cold air helps to clear your sinuses in one big breath. You wipe your face with the sleeves of your jacket. You can’t bring yourself to look at him just yet. 

“Steve is so lucky,” Eddie says after another few moments of silence. “To be loved by you?” He chuckles, taking a lean on the wall next to you. “Lucky bastard,” he jokes, and you manage a forced smile through the tears. “Must be the best damn thing in the whole world and he doesn’t even realize it,” he continues more seriously. “Well, until now, when I ruined everything,” he finalizes, sheepishly. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t realize it either,” you mumble, “God, what Steve was doing to me- I was doing to you? Fuck.” 

“Fucked up, right?” he teases. “How’s it feel, heartbreaker?”

“Really, really shitty,” you settle on and he laughs. 

“Yup,” he agrees, making a pop sound at the end. “Really, really shitty. Indeed.” 

“God, I wasted so much fucking time,” you admit to yourself. 

“I didn’t mean it,” he says softly, helping fix the collar of your jacket. It was tucked in because you put it on so fast and didn’t bother to fix it. “That I wouldn’t be able to trust you with Steve or whatever if we hypothetically got together or whatever- it was just a really, really ugly insecurity that bubbled up. If after this all blows over and you don’t completely hate my guts, and maybe by some miracle you wanted to give us a chance, I wouldn’t hold your feelings for Steve over you like that.” 

“Did you mean it that I’d lose you?” you ask, looking to him. He shakes his head. 

“I was talking out of my ass,” he admits, “I was emotional and just letting my frustration get the better of me. I won’t stop being your friend if you don’t like me back.”

“I’ve been doing that already,” he jokes and you swat his arm. 

“Not funny,” you grumble, but you can’t find it in you to actually be upset. 

“I don’t want an answer from you now,” he says, shifting back to a serious tone, but you can hear how nervous he is. “But if and when you get over Steve, and you realize I’m not that bad to look at- maybe you and I could go out sometime. I’m putting the ball in your court. I just want you to be happy. If you end up with Steve, I’m your best man. You end up with me, I’ll work my hardest every damn day to make you so fucking happy. No matter what, I will be your friend. You aren’t losing me.”

“Thank you,” you smile, and you pull him into a hug. You finally start to feel okay again. You feel like you could get over Steve, but then you remember that everyone inside is waiting for you- including Steve. The anxiety begins to stir and you can’t imagine facing everyone now after all of this. 

“I got you,” Eddie whispers, taking your hand, “We’ll go back together.” 

Eddie’s held your hand a million times before, but it wasn’t until now that you realize how well your hand fits in his. You shake your head to erase the thought from your mind for now and try to relax. The walk back up to the apartment is much longer than it’s ever felt before.

No one says anything when you both come back. You and Eddie kick off your shoes and he helps you take your jacket off. You sniffle, and quickly take your seat back on the loveseat. Eddie slips into the kitchen and grabs a six pack from the fridge. He holds it up like a fish he’s just caught triumphantly. 

“I think we all need one, yeah?” He jokes and he diffuses the tension as everyone agrees in tandem. He pulls them apart from the plastic ring, tossing them out. He throws you a wink when he tosses you yours and you can’t help but smile. 

“Can I just say,” Robin says, “Had I known you all were upset about actually serious stuff- I wouldn’t have opened this can of worms. I thought you were just pissed at each other about the comments about not getting laid.”

Nancy and Jonathan must have made up while you were outside because instead of separate seats, Jonathan sat on the living room chair and Nancy was perched on his lap. Steve was just watching you. Suddenly, it didn’t matter that Nancy was there. He was fixated on looking at you. He was taking in everything about you like he was looking at you, really looking at you for the first time. 

Fuck, if you weren’t beautiful, Steve thinks. He always knew you were, but he never really thought about it until now. Even after crying, you just look so pretty. He’s pained knowing he’s caused you so much pain. He looks to Eddie and feels jealousy rise irrationally. He’s jealous of Eddie for realizing how perfect you were before he did. It’s so fucking petty and he knows it. Eddie’s had all this time to adore you, while he’s squandered it following around Nancy like a simp. He’s loved you and lost you in the same fucking night.

“Let’s keep going,” Eddie jokes, trying to make light of the situation, “Air out more grievances- Buckley, you need new shoes. Those fucking chucks are abhorrent- please, get new ones. They are why your back hurts all the time.” 

“Okay, Mr. Same White Reeboks Since Senior Year,” she taunts, feigning offense to his jab. “Keep my converse out of your mouth!”

“I have boots now,” he says, pointing to the leather boots by the door. “Much more metal.” 

“Cause it’s fucking January, Eddie,” Robin says with a laugh, “Of course you’re wearing fucking boots.”

“Yet you strolled into my house wearing Converse,” he says walking over the the floor and pointing at Robin’s worse for wear Chuck Taylors. “It was snowing this morning, Robin! Please, as your friend- please let ME get you new shoes.”

“You can pry those shoes off of me when I’m dead,” she raises her voice. The lighthearted air has returned to the evening. It felt like it had been salvaged for now. Everyone seemed to be feeling better, except Steve. As the world began to pick up again, he was paralyzed- burdened with the knowledge of your feelings for him and knowing he might be too late to do anything about it. Was it?

[vigilantesyth]

Think about if talia decided since Bruce adopted children they were her children now too. Ra loans everytime he has to update the family registry from Bruce's side.

So talia and dick hate each other. But when dick was in school and got sick, Bruce couldn't come, and alfred couldn't come at this point. talia was pregnant, like 6 months in ans in America, for some random craving. Dick had them call her. He wasn't sure the number he had for her was still working but it was.

Nurses:good after noon is this Richard Grayson Wayne's mother

Talia: ...yes...

Nurse: he is sick,we are asking you to pick him up since there are no other person available.

Talia: okay...

Talia shows up in her car and shocks Dick with her very pregnant belly and the two go to the hospital and them back to the manor were she took care of him until alfred came. Who convinced her to stay, until Bruce came and found out she was pregnant and tried to hide it from him. Before they started yelling at each other. Talia heard a cry and ran up to thr boys room and Dick looked he'd in the eyes and started sobbing. Bruce followed and the two cared for dick for a week.

.

With Barbara, talia used to spar alot, so when she lost her ability to use her legs talia, almost killed joker. She would have too but decided against it upon the girls wishes.

It was hard at first with she not wanting to do anything for days or not eating or sleeping. Burce didn't know what to do, the commissioner was in the same ball part. All they could do was support her and try to get her to do basic things. Even when she screamed at them for her having to use a wheel chair.

Talia came and sat down with her in a room and nobody knows what happened. They just know Barbara was crying in her arms when they went back in clinging to her clothes. Sometimes talia would walk with her and they didn't stop sparing no. After Barbara discovered she liked computers, they had spars by hacking each other nobody was going to give in even now thier are codes and viruses they are trying to de code every time they do they put a mark on a score board. Rules are

1. Not alowed to ask for outside help.

2. You must do the work with your own hands

3. Talk when it's too hard

4. Think about what would joker not do.

5.have fun.

.

Jason had always known he had Bruce and a mother he also knows his elder brother hates thier mother, loves her aswell but hates her. He knows he has another sibling because he's seen the baby that gets dropped off with gifts.

One day when alone at home with the baby, talia comes buy and sees him in the kitchen trying to make something to eat and fail.

Talia teaches him how to cook something simple and now the make meals together when ever she visits. Making dick come by more. One day he asked her

J:mom.

T:yes

J:dad and dick are fighting and I think it's because of me

T: ....why would you think that

J: I think it's because I'm robin

T:no dear, your dad is just bad at talking to people and your brother got it from him, he just hides it by being happy most of the time. When I first met him he was an angry boy and he still is.

Talia made and stayed for dinner forcing much to Alfred's joy Bruce and Dick to talk or so help her she would have them sleep in the dog house. While Bruce tried to argue she can't do that in his house. Dick knew better than to fight her because well she wad his mother. Talia slept in Bruce's room and he slept in a guest room and in the morning he got burnt food dick and Jason and alfred found this to be peak entertainment and if baby dami laughed nobody was upset this continues for 2 months then Bruce apologised. Bruce learned his wife could be more stubborn than him.

.

Cas shows up one day? Yea but talia immediately noticed when she walked in that there was a girl in the house. She went into the kitchen and looked at the ceiling.

T:girl get down and greet your little brother then call down the rest of who is here

Cass is shocked and did as told the boys rushed down the stairs when talia makes a mark on the black board to day she un did 4 viruses. Dick picked up baby damian and cas just watched like a cat how the daughter of ra blended so well within the world of the Wayne's. But didn't even try to go into the bat

When she and cass really bonded was when she had a nightmare, of her dad. She loves her dad. She understood why he did what he did but he also hurt her by doing it. She understood he loves her but it hurt so much in the end. She found herself sitting beside talia as she fed Damain.

T: I understand

C:[you wrong] she was still learning to sign

T:I do , my father isn't just like yours but they are similar.

C: [how?]

T:he does things that hurt me and damian I leave when it hurts my baby. He knows I leave because it will hurt my baby. I understand why he feels like he needs to do this, for the most part but it still hurts me. But it's hard to hate him when I love him too.

C:[...]

In the end Cassandra cried in talias side and talia ran her hand through her hair. Now w

Cassandra has a baba[Bruce] , a daddy, and a mama.

.

Tim was a surprise... talia had taken Damain into hiding in the aftermath of jasons death.not being able to let her son go she takes his body with an angry split with Bruce. It takes a few years until she came back there was a spoiler and a Robin.

Tim was injured at titans tower by Jason when talia showed up with a spoon in her hand and smcked the taller boy in the back of his head before scolding him in Arab for hurting his little brother.

She turned to Tim and sighed. "I'll see you at dinner. You will be at dinner."

She left no room for argument and Jason was pouting. Dick ws in the plane because she picked him up to watch his tolder brother while she wrongled her zombie son from hurting her Sleep deprived son.

T:"y-"

Talia :"I'm not asking I'm telling get your stuff and get in the plan before I hit you next"

Tim had never moved faster. He went into the plane and saw a baby in dicks lap and he looked at Tim and laughed

D:dami that's your older brother Tim say hi tim

Dami: hi Tim.

D:*squeals*

Tim flabbergasted sits down, Jason gets red in by his hair and the plan takes off. To Gotham.

D:"mom~¡!~¡! JASON HIT TIM AGAIN"

J:" you rat! Mom he's lying!!!!!!@!"

Tim:*confused boy blinking* "he...hit me"

J:"they are!!! Lying"

Talia:"If I hear anyone hitting anyone so help me god I'll turn this whole plane around!"

J:leans over to time with a glare and whispers "snitches get stitches"

Tim: I understand it now. "MAMA!"

Jason is yelled at for thr rest of the ride much to Tim's pleasure he grinned. Dick looked proud.

.

Her bonding with steph happened naturally, it didn't have an event it kinda just happened. They liked to watch t.v together and talia likes waffles surprising and steph didn't mind sharing.but now they have waffle day when ever talia gets to visit. (I'm lazy I've been wring this for 2 days I think I relapsing on bad eating habits)

.

Duke just needed a mom when he needed a mom. Someone to cry and talk to someone to hug him and tell him he's enough after all these years talia got pretty good at it too.

[miwiheroes]

Dropping Byler Evidence Every Day Until Season 5

Day 1 - The M&Ms scene

So yeah, this scene is never really talked about that much as like actual proof, more like a funni little thing where Mike looks at Will for a moment when he walks away, but analysis of the cinematography, framing and narrative of this scene can be revealing.

First thing: as soon as El wipes her nose, revealing it was her that helped Mike and Lucas, the camera zooms in on Mike, as if to be like 'oooh wonder how he's going to react'! and the audience is then in suspense, because they're probably expecting him to smile or try to take this opportunity.

What does he do? He just says 'Thanks." And the moment of suspense is broken. It's almost like a record scratch. We will come back to this reaction later, basically because it shows that Mike really does not mind being on these terms with El.

Second thing: At first glance there seems to be 3 main characters of this scene: Mike, Lucas and El. However, Will also seems to be included in this scene unlike Max who is also there. There is no reason to have Will be in some of these shots that, I want you guys to understand, is intentional. The directors didn't just accidentally set up this frame:

They didn't just forget to move Will out the way. In this shot, the Rule of Thirds can be applied. While El and half of Mike are in the second third/ third third, both half of Mike and Will are in the same third. This is also the third on the left, which is where (in western cultures) people begin to look at images from (reading from left to right). The fact that Will looks at Mike when he says 'Thanks' is the first thing that the audience is intended to notice (because its on the left), even if it is very subtle.

It is also important to note that the writers of the show know, in this moment, that Will is in love with Mike, they've had that planned out from the start (this is undeniably canon, unlike Mike's feelings to Will). Therefore, it is interesting that they included him in this shot and the next part too:

Like?? what was the point of the directors putting him in this part? Placing him in an interactional role with Mike in a Mike and El scene is just interesting to me. Like,,,, also could Mike not have talked to El with Will there?

After Will gets up, there is this really awkwardly long part where Will goes from the left third to the right third of the screen and just stays there? Like he's still in the shot (which they can easily catch and retake if they needed to). Why do the writers/directors want you to take such notice of his presence?

Also, going back to the fact that Will has to leave for Mike to be able to talk to El. Again, the directors did not need to put Will in this scene, they could have had him doing something else. Instead, they had him there to subtly further his character arc of being selfless/being shoved away by Mike in favour of El. It's also maybe simply because Mike just can't handle having both Will and El in the same context without ignoring one for the other, because he holds them to the same romantic standard.

We see this mishandling of El and Will in the airport scene, the whole time Mike is with El in the beginning of S3, Rink o Mania, the dinner after Rink o Mania etc. Basically, when both El and Will are around, he feels like he has to get rid of Will to be able to be romantic towards El, despite being able to talk about it to Lucas. When it's just him and Will, he's pretty happy (we see this in the 'Cool. Cool.' scene and the 'Guess it's up to us again' scene which are the only two scenes in S4 where Mike believes he is no longer in a relationship with El and just thinks he needs to team up with Will and go back to Hawkins without El). Therefore, he needed Will out the way because he can't be romantic with his girlfriend with Will distracting him lmao <3

Third Thing: Lucas is the one to encourage Mike to make up with El.

To be honest, him encouraging him alone isn't really that convincing of the fact that Mike is queer coded blah blah, like, your friend is allowed to say 'That was the Olive branch! Your way in!' without it being queercoding. The queercoding however, comes with the reaction to that information.

First, I want to point to something I may bring up in the future of this series. In S1, Lucas is the first person to ever suggest that there might be something romantic going on between Mike and El. When he says "Why don't you just marry her?", Mike does not go all ooooh flustery and blushy, he does not go 'EW GROSS' like a lot of boys that age would, instead he just acts confused. Multiple times.

The first time is when he goes, "Lucas what are you talking about?" The second is in response to Lucas going "Mike, seriously?" saying "What?" again. When Lucas then teases him about caring about her, he just says "Shut up Lucas" in this really tired tone, rather than a flustered or angry one. He basically gets the idea that he probably should like El romantically, if he shows even any care towards her.

Now, throughout S3, Lucas is the one to constantly question Mike's actions towards El. He's confused on why he won't tell her the truth about Hopper, and everything else, which all culminates into this "Oh my god. You're hopeless," when referring to picking up signals about girls.

I must say this rn too: You don't pick up on signals you don't want to receive. You do pick up on signals you do want to receive. I think most of us know what it's like to have a crush. You constantly look out for little things and overanalyse their actions towards you. But Mike has no clue. Maybe because.... he just doesnt feel that way.

Okay going back to reactions. Basically, you would kind of expect Mike's reaction to hearing that his girlfriend, that he's sooooo sad about losing oh nooooo, has decided to reach out and say that she's okay with him would be excitement, right?

When Lucas is describing how he's going to let Mike talk to El, Mike looks extremely nervous, which I get. It's normal to feel nervous in this situation, but the thing is, El seems okay with him, surely he would at least have a little light in his eyes?

When Lucas has to say 'Talk to her, alright?' (as if Mike has no fucking clue) Mike nods and then there is a swell in the music, the camera zooms in on him, and instead of the music swelling to some nice, positive tones, it's almost foreboding, mimicking the mixed feelings swirling in Mike's brain. His face also kind of looks.... weird like he's unsure, or maybe he's disappointed? Nervous? idk

I would understand this to be a little romantic if he smiles, but jesus, he does not crack a single grin at this part.

It almost seems like he's deciding to do something he doesn't really want to. I think he was completely content with the fact that she helped them, but didn't want to do anything about it because he's totally fine being on good terms with her, obviously, but not necessarily on romantic terms with her. Maybe he's fine with the fact she doesn't really want to be with him.

However, after Lucas says this stuff, now he's looking over at her and thinking, wait, maybe she does want to be with me.

But instead of a:

Wow, maybe she does want to be with me! :D

It's a:

Oh, so she does want to be with me.

^basically this means Mike decides, based on his encouragement from Lucas rather than his own feelings, that he should talk to her. What can he say to Lucas here? That he doesn't want to? That isn't really an option for him.

Fourth Thing: Okay this is very small but for some reason this scene is interspersed with scenes of Jonathan and Nancy getting almost killed by the mindflayer army like???

Why would they cut from this very tense scene where these beloved characters are about to be killed to this scene between Mike and El where everything is fine!

It's like.,,,, they want the audience to be tense watching them, even if it's not directly for the right reasons. They want the audience to maybe feel the tension in the foreboding nature of the fact that the mindflayer is in the same building as them, meaning there is always some danger lurking in the background.

Okay hope you enjoyed today's byler evidence :) stay tuned for tomorrow's!

[intimidating-fettuccine]

Hello Aubrie! Goood, I love your writing so much, and I couldn't wait to send in another request!

Could I ask for Eyeless Jack and his s/o going on a date day? How it would look like and all that? (can be sfw/nsfw)

I decided to keep it just SFW this time as I was just in a fluffy vontent mood today, but you can feel free to request date night specific spicy stuff with EJ next time if you'd like :) I hope you enjoy, I'm extra tired today so my writing may be different but I had a need for EJ fluff

Your date day actually ends up being a date night with this one, as your boyfriend is nocturnal, however, he gets up a bit earlier than normal if the two of you want to spend a "day" together. Normally waking at about 6:00 pm, Jack will get up around 4:00 on a day the two of you wish to spend together. He'll spend a little while waking up, curled up in bed with you, discussing things you want to do, getting ready to go out with you, just waiting for the sun to go down more so Jack can handle being around the light (as he can't handle visibly bright light very well, hence the nocturnal part :p).

He'll make sure you get something yummy to eat for dinner, and that's usually your first spot on your date nights. The Underworld is full of restaurants that operate 24/7, so he'll take you out to eat at whichever place you'd prefer to go to, and you'll both sit and talk for a while over food. Even with the nocturnal citizens out and about, the Underworld is a lot more quiet at night, so Jack enjoys walking through it with you, enjoying the peace of it. The two of you might window shop a bit, going into any stores that catch your eye. I think if it's warm enough you two have a tradition of getting ice cream together, because there are places that serve a mix of demon and human appropriate flavors, so you can get whichever flavor you'd prefer, and EJ can get his go-to blood ice cream so he can enjoy it as well. Following that, Jack always loves taking you for another walk, this time through the forests of the Underworld. The air is nice and fresh, and the creatures running about are usually attracted to Jack, so he always gets excited by the chance to tell you what the different animals are, and because they trust him so much you can even pet them while they sit contentedly beside him.

It's not until either the sun starts coming back up or you start to get too tired that the two of you finally begin to make your way back to the mansion together. Once you get back, Jack normally prefers to enter relaxation mode with you again. You'll take a relaxing shower together, and then put on some perfectly fluffy, soft pajamas (Jack is a connoisseur of comfortable fabrics), and curl up in bed once more. Some nights you guys might put on a show in the background, or some music, or anything you're in the mood to watch and just sit, and cuddle to the background noise. However, there are also nights like tonight, when you snuggle up and read together. It always starts with both of you reading your own preferred books in silence, but then usually one of you grows more tired faster than the other (usually you, as it's generally 5:00 am by this point), and the other person will read their own book aloud for both of you. Days like these generally end with you fast asleep in Jack's arms due to your need for sleep overcoming you, and Jack will always chuckle and set his book aside, before pulling you into his chest, and finally falling asleep himself. You usually always wake before him, unless you sleep the whole day away (sometimes Jack also just refuses to let you out of his arms on purpose but shhhh it's fine, it doesn't matter), but post date day snuggles are also mandatory in this relationship, so really, date days are like two days in one because you've gotta recoup your energy from staying up so late. Even if the two of you just spend a date day curled up inside playing board games or reading, or even just silently snuggling up, Jack doesn't mind, so long as he gets to spend as much time with you as possible, anything is fine in his opinion. He's just thankful to have you there with him.

[lexiecon-mp4]

Jayvik and Butterflies || Arcane Meta

The butterfly motif has put everyone into a chokehold (myself included) and has had me brainrotting so hard for the last few days that I felt compelled to make my first Arcane post.

With how repetitive the butterfly motif is within Viktor and Jayce's lives throughout Arcane, I thought it would be fitting to do a meta looking into what that symbol might mean.

So first things first; where do we see this symbol pop up? In presumed chronological order of in-universe events, here are some of the following;

1. Viktor when following his toy boat (S1E6)

2. Jayce after being saved by the mage (S1E2)

3. Mechanical butterflies shown during Progress Day (S1E4)

4. Butterfly at the Fissures when Jayce and Viktor talk about failing to "do good" (S1E9)

5. A flash frame of a butterfly appears when Jayce hits the Arcane with his hammer (S2E3)

6. The hammer itself is shaped like a butterfly after Jayce emerges from the Arcane (S2E5)

7. Viktor and Jayce vaguely form a butterfly-type shape when they sacrifice themselves (S2E9)

(If I'm missing any I apologize, but these are the memorable examples that I think embody the themes I'm going to discuss. Feel free to comment more!)

I'm not including Jinx's mechanical butterflies here since they are more reminiscent of Firelights, but it is fitting that she has taken a symbol associated with progress from Progress Day and retrofitted it to her own design, just like she does with Hextech itself. That already serves as a manifestation of how Jayce and Viktor's shared creation can lead toward a dangerous path.

Ultimately, I think there are three main themes that I believe fit both characters respectively along with their arcs.

1. METAMORPHOSIS

Viktor goes through a literal metamorphosis of his own as a result of the glorious evolution, both physically and emotionally. Like the change of a caterpillar to a butterfly, his evolution is one that he perceives to be an "improvement" on his prior form. Simultaneously, his obsession with perfection (due to his own insecurities, struggles and oppression) shifts his focus. His original ambitions to help the people of Zaun and beyond are lost as he prioritizes using the Arcane to "improve lives", even against their own will. For the final step of his evolution, he sacrifices his humanity and breaks out of his "chrysalis" as a changed man. Viktor become utterly unrecognizable to everyone, even to his own partner; until the last scene between the two.

Jayce has seen that he has become something completely different than the Viktor he knew before. But regardless, he sees him as beautiful in the context of his current "perfect" AND prior "imperfect" state. The caterpillar and butterfly are one and the same, just like the man he knew and the "Machine Herald" that stands before him. He sees under the facade (a literal mask) that Viktor wears, knowing that his partner is still there.

What distinguishes Viktor from the butterfly is that his metamorphosis doesn't end with the "glorious evolution." While the evolution was intended to be a point of no return, it was eventually shown to be another step in his ever-changing arc. Viktor doesn't revert back to his original state, but makes his sacrifice alongside Jayce because of the growth of his character. The final, glorious evolution he always wanted was in liberating everyone from the Arcane, not enslaving them.

The metamorphosis theme also applies to Jayce, as he has obviously "evolved" after touching the Arcane. Yet despite his own evolution, he never loses that humanity that allows him to keep hope for Viktor still being in there. Both of them become something more in the end. I especially love that this happens by each accepting their flaws and acknowledging one another as beautiful. Jayce would still love Vik if he was a worm the caterpillar, since that was the first and original iteration of the man he admires.

2. THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT

The butterfly effect is one of my favorite thought experiments related to chaos theory; the underlying patterns/laws of the universe's systems that seem random but are actually dependent on initial conditions. The effect argues that a simple flutter of a butterflies wings could lead to a chain of events that cause something completely different and significant. Arcane has several of these "butterflies" (e.g. the note Vander wrote for Silco) but the most prominent one yet again connects Viktor and Jayce.

Old Viktor explains that in every universe, he gave young Jayce a different rune in order to invent Hextech, presumably with the hopes of preventing the apocalypse as well. He knew that Jayce was the only one who could show him the truth about perfection, but without the right rune, he couldn't get there. It was the specific choice of an acceleration rune that allowed for the events of season two to occur. This small change gives Ekko a chance to fight back and Jayce the chance to talk it out with his partner.

(My personal theory is that the acceleration rune allowed for Ekko and Jayce to travel to a different dimension through the Arcane. This led Ekko to create the Z-Drive and gave Jayce the knowledge of his and Viktor's fates. The rune in his wrist was likely what brought him to Old Viktor in the first place. Otherwise, it's likely that Ekko, Heimer and Jayce would have been absorbed/disintegrated in the process.)

At the beginning of S2E6 Viktor describes Jayce as having "a singularity simultaneously self-replicating and self-annihilating." While the singularity seems to be driving Jayce insane and irate, it contains the chaos needed to stop the influence of the Hexcore over Viktor, Piltover, and Zaun.

In the end, both are able to intersect the "chaos and order" of the Arcane, connecting the rune embedded in Jayce's wrist with Viktor's Hexcore-ified body. The disorder of the Arcane in Jayce seemed random at first, just as the rune given to him did. Yet it was these initial conditions that determined the fates of everyone involved, including the closure that he and Viktor were able to have in the end.

The way that these two are able to break the terrible fate determined for them if they ever met, while still being able to resolve their conflicts at the end, is some extremely beautiful storytelling.

3. MIGRATION/THE JOURNEY

Finally, the act of migrating is one that I feel applies most to Jayce in season two, but also is present in Viktor's backstory and struggle against his disabilities.

There's a specific species of butterfly that migrates every fall, which are the Monarch butterflies that are native to North America. These creatures must brave difficult conditions as they travel down south to more temperate climates. It is a physically demanding trip that tests the resolve of the butterflies, which in Jayce's case, also shakes him to his core.

He has to endure many perils and pains when the Arcane transports him to the "bad ending" universe. He travels through Zaun, gets stuck in the Fissures for a while, then finally climbs the Hexgates to learn the truth about his dream. While the sufferings of the journey itself feel unnecessary, it's a path Jayce must take in the end no matter how painful. Like the monarchs, he perseveres and makes it out of there alive.

But unlike them, this difficult pilgrimage is necessary to shape Jayce's character. He essentially speed-runs Viktor's personal journey as a Zaunite; born in Zaun, being poisoned by the Fissures, and "pulling himself up by his bootstraps" all the way up to the gilded heights of Piltover. It's a perilous and painful trip, made more difficult by his injured leg. Yet when Jayce reaches the top, none of the achievements matter to Viktor in this universe. After everything he had done, there was only the empty husk of his loved one and the truth it carried that remained. His illness and "imperfections" were cured, but at what cost?

This puts everything into perspective for Jayce. At the end of his travels, he realizes what he really wants to save isn't Hextech, or his dream, but his partner. In turn, it saves the lives of everyone including that of Viktor's, who comes out of the other side of this journey loved rather than alone. Perhaps their presumed deaths aren't the most happy ending for both of them, but they certainly made it to clearer skies together.

(One last additional note: I love that the alternate universe only has dragonflies instead of butterflies; the connecting symbol between the two is missing in this universe because they couldn't save it in the end.)

So ultimately, the motif of butterflies for Jayce and Viktor represent the change, resilience and interconnectedness of the pair. Throughout the entire two seasons, this symbol follows them on their respective arcs like a red string of fate. As Viktor calls it, they are "two sides of the same coin, inextricably bound." The final two variables needed to solve the Arcane, and they could only do so together.

(i hate these guys they have irrevocably rewritten my brain chem)

Thank you for reading if you made it this far!

[sootchild]

Hey, I’m just reaching out to people on Tumblr, it’s not one of those weird sexual blogs trying to get your attention. I’m just curious, you’ve probably heard of Jesus and God, but have you ever reached out to Jesus for problems in your life? Big or small. If you don’t want to talk, that is completely fine, I truly don’t want to force anything on you because that isn’t very kind and it kinda sucks. I hope you’re having an awesome day!!

Also!!

Your art is amazing!! 💕

If this wasn't an Anonymous, I'd have just politely ignored and deleted the message. I don't like to drag people but because in the book of Matthew (5:15-16, ESV) it states:

"Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven."

This ask is Anon so free game in my opinion.

This is the second time this type of message has been given to me. Now were I to have shared some sort of trepidation or worry of late, like for example my current contract coming to an end Fed 21 (which true), and you went, "Oh my, you are feeling insecure! Let me share with you something that gives me comfort, maybe you will find comfort in it!" Then fine, I'd thank you for the thought, BUT that isn't what prompted this.

You looked at my body of work and went, "Oh my! This person clearly has no relationship with the Lord! I must tell them there is a better way!" You made an assumption as to what my personal relationship with the divine is and unprompted and anonymously tried to "save" me. Being previously an Evangelical, I get it. I was once young and fervent, wanting to champion for the Lord. I learned that like anything in life, consent is king and leading by example and enriching the lives of others is so much better than proselytizing.

For clarity, I am in fact Christian. I maybe a Polyamourous, pansexual, hedonist, but my relationship with Jesus, pretty tight. Been so my whole 37 years of life. To the point that I tell my retired pastor of a father that I am older in the faith than he is (he hates this, it is hilarious). EDIT: Also it doesn't matter that I am Christian, I clarified to show that assumptions can one look foolish. Even if I were of any other faith or without faith, it is arrogant to assume to know a person's relationship with the divine. There is so many different ways to interact with the universe and as long as we are adding goodness to it, that is the important part.

I get that you meant well but rocking up to my Asks being like, "I think you need Jesus! But let me put a pretty bow on this message by saying you make nice art!" Not as flattering as you think it is.

I wish you the best and sorry if this cuts deep but so everyone knows, I don't appreciate this sort of unprompted messaging.

[malk1ns]

january 3 @ panthers, 3-2 S/O loss

sidney out here doing sidney things.

geno...is not so much doing geno things right now. he's still drawing up plays that make goals happen, because that tying goal doesn't happen without his vision and hockey IQ, but he's in a slump right now. i think i have the answer as to why!

previous soulbond installments: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

As the season wears on, Zhenya makes a decision when it comes to the bond.

The specialists dragging them into meetings every other day, the added scrutiny in a season where they’re already being watched, is fraying Sid at the seams. He still comes to Zhenya’s house in his spare time, but he’s distracted, spending too much time on his phone and spacing out on their conversations.

Zhenya knows why. Neither of them are scoring, and the only time they’re allowed on the ice together is when Sid ignores the call for a change on the power play and stays out for the full two minutes.

The strategy they’ve been forced to adopt isn’t working. Sid’s slowly losing his mind.

So Zhenya changes tacks, all on his own.

Normally when he’s not on the ice he’s only half-paying attention, especially if his line isn’t due out for a shift for a while. He’s always done better when he has time to check out from gameplay and center himself for a few seconds. Now, though, he leans forward and watches when the first line is out, tracking Sid on the ice and watching plays develop.

And he pushes.

It’s not cheating, Zhenya’s pretty sure. Even if it is, he’d like to see someone try and prove it.

Sid was always going to rebound. He’s too good to have a down-stretch that lasts more than a few weeks. Even now, in his 20th year in the league, he has more talent in one hand than the majority of players could ever hope to have. 

If Zhenya helps out a little…well, that’s just being a good teammate.

He wasn’t quite prepared for the effect helping Sid out would have on his own play. It’s helping the team win though, or at least stay competitive in games where a few weeks ago they would have folded and gotten blown out. Zhenya can accept his own production suffering, can weather the media criticism and the whispers that he’s washed, if it helps Sid and the team.

He misses scoring real goals, though. Maybe he’ll get the balance figured out with more time; it would be nice to be able to help the top line and get a few goals of his own.

Slowly, Sid calms down. He settles into the team again, laughing with the guys and teasing the kids and getting his swagger back. Zhenya knows he made the right decision when Sid passes Mario for the franchise lead in assists, and Sid drags him into bed that night and proceeds to take him apart so thoroughly that Zhenya cried at one point.

Zhenya thinks he can go through a season like this, even if he doesn’t quite crack 20 goals, if it means he has Sid, and he has the team, and the team starts winning more.

He should have known Sid would figure it out.

He’s not sure what tipped Sid off against Florida. There was that shot on the wide-open net Zhenya missed, and there was the mess in overtime, where he almost had the game-winner and couldn’t even get off the ice.

Sid lets Zhenya linger after he changes, saying hi to his friends who drove up from Miami to watch the game, but once they’re back at the hotel, he follows Zhenya back to his room. Zhenya can feel how irritated he is.

“Before you start, let me put on pajamas,” Zhenya says as Sid shuts the door behind them, interrupting whatever Sid was about to start in with.

Sid deflates, but he nods, crossing his arms and watching as Zhenya digs in his bag for his sweatpants.

He smirks a little when he pulls his pants down and Sid’s interest spikes. He can’t be that mad, then.

“Oh, I am,” Sid answers out loud, and Zhenya sighs gustily as he tosses his suit into his bag and slouches to the bed. “G, what are you thinking? Did you really think I’d never notice that you’re…I don’t know, sacrificing yourself for my play? Did you think I’d want this?”

“No,” Zhenya snaps, rolling his eyes. “Of course I’m not think you’re want me play like shit, like, obviously. But it’s help, yes? We’re win more now, specialists leave us alone when you’re scoring, like, it’s good for team.” He stares Sid down. “I’m wrong? You can’t say, I know I’m right.”

“That doesn’t matter!” Sid explodes, pushing off from the wall and stalking towards the bed. “You’re fucking up your game to…I don’t even know what you’re doing. How the hell are you so good at playing with the bond, first there was that goal you grabbed from me a few months ago now this, and I can’t even…” He takes a deep breath. “It doesn’t matter. You can’t do this, G, you have to stop.”

“Hmm, no,” Zhenya says, smiling when Sid’s eyes practically bug out of his head. “My choice, Sid. Okay, yes, it’s not so good for my game right now, but I practice, it gets better. It’s more important for your line to be best right now.” He holds up his hand before Sid can interrupt. “No, it’s true. You’re captain, like, guys look to you the most. When you’re play best, do crazy things like perfect pass, edgework, it’s make everyone want to try harder for you. Whole team gets…lift? Not sure how to say, but you’re example. It’s not the same if it’s me.”

Sid opens his mouth, but Zhenya can feel when he accepts what Zhenya’s saying as truth. “I still don’t like it,” he mutters, turning to his own bag and tugging out his sweatpants with an unnecessary amount of force. “This wouldn’t be happening if they’d just let us do what feels right. It’s stupid.”

“Yes,” Zhenya agrees, opening his arms so Sid can crawl into his embrace. “They very stupid, we’re say this many times. Can’t change it though, they’re here, they watch. Maybe soon they’re think we adjust like they want, they leave and we do our way, see what happens. But for now, we do this.”

Sid sighs. His thoughts are too fast for Zhenya to pick anything specific out, just a general feeling of unhappiness. “I still don’t like it,” he mutters. “It’s not fair to you. I hear what they’re saying.”

Zhenya shrugs. “They always say about me, every year. What’s new? Maybe you’re give me goal next game, like, shut them up for a while. Maybe I keep not doing media so much and they’re forget if they have fun goals to talk about with you. It doesn’t matter, though. More important that team comes together, like, try hardest every night.”

“I don’t like when you’re this reasonable,” Sid says, turning his head so he can wrinkle his nose up at Zhenya. “And, hey, if you’re so self-sacrificing, why didn’t you do anything during the shootout? We could have used a win tonight.”

Zhenya shakes his head solemnly, pulling a mournful face. “Can’t help your shootout, Sid,” he says. “It’s too late, like, you’re too far gone. So boring, don’t even try, I push and push and nothing. Hey!” He squawks, trying to twist away from where Sid’s digging his fingers into Zhenya’s side.

Their play-wrestling must be loud, because Kris in the room next door bangs on their shared wall after just a few minutes, before it even had a chance to turn into something a little more fun.

[flo-zoinks]

Headcanons for if anyone sat by them at the campfire and just started pulling strands of their hair out…😈

Chlo boo u high-key a freak but I fw it💀❤ I was laughing for a solid minute when I read this oh my goodness😭😭

WHAT I IMAGINE WOULD HAPPEN IF U SAT AT A CAMPFIRE AND STARTED PULLING OUT CHUNKS OF EADH RDR2 GANG MEMBERS HAIR.. (MY OPINION)

(Again as reactions differ greatly between people we are assuming here it's someone similar to John in terms of age gender and likeness around camp)

Arthur - exclaim like "what the hell are yu doing?!" Then leave camp for like a week until hes not mad

Hosea - lean back away from you and tell you off for being such a weird idiot, then just go back to whatever he was doing unfazed

Sadie - literally pounce on ur ass until someone like Arthur pulls you too apart, but she swears its not over and now you sleep scared

Dutch - push you off whatever your sitting on and tell you to leave camp until you get your head straight, then immediately go to the nearest mirror to fix himself

Molly - slap your hand away and look really offended, tell Dutch, then adjust her routine to be furthest from you in camp from now on in anxiety

Sean - be really confused, but try and laugh it off that you want to take his gorgeous looks out of jealousy

Lenny - probably would think it's a bit racially motivated so shove you and tell you that its not okay to do that then leave for the night to talk to Sean or Hosea

Abigail - slap ur face and ask what the hell you think you're doing, and make sure Jack stays away from you

John - give you a confused look and tell you smth like "what's wrong with you man" then leave

Javier - start shouting his ass off at you in spanish for ruining his fine looks and punch u to the ground. He dont freak w someone messing up his vanity

Jack - cry and tell Abigail who then slaps you for being a fool and 'nags' John to do something about it until he eventually tells you you're weird for that but stop because Abigail is annoying him

Mary-beth - move away and stare at you for a solid 10 seconds before saying "what the- please don't do that" then leave. Miss Grimshaw wouldn't let that slide though, and Tilly and Karen would give you evils for a good while

Tilly - exclaim (near shouting) "go away _ that's not normal!". Same as Mary-Beth past that w Grimshaw and Karen

Karen - shove you or punch you real hard, then go for a beer to calm down. Tilly would give you evils for a while. Karen would probably shout at you drunk hours after

Kieran - IM NOT AN O'DRISCOLL STOP IT!!!! Javier, Sean, Kieran and Bill probably jeered you on and patted you on the back after

Pearson - hair? Chunks of it? Be fr now

Charles - "stop that."

Trelawny - try and scare you with a magic trick pulling out some animal really close, then whilst your distracted from pulling his damn hair out he slaps your head and ridicules you

Strauss - (had to look up if he had hair lol) stand up offended and tell you off for your improper behaviour then leave to go work

Micah - firstly that hair would be greasy ass but if you chose to continue he'd try scare you to stop suddenly then talk for a good 5 minutes that you like all people are out to get him as hes a rare winner in a world of losers. If you were any minority he'd call you a slur too and blame ur identity. If you were a woman though he'd probably be into it

Grimshaw - tell you off for a good minute and say you've ruined her night as she goes to bed steaming. The girls would later get really mad at you for putting her in a bad mood

Reverend - insist you are hurting a kind priest, but whilst drunk ask you why you hate him then vent that so does God

Bill - beard hair right....? Grab your hand and pull you UNCOMFORTABLY close to warn you, then shove you away angrily saying you got lucky this time loser

Uncle - same w the beard hair right?? Yell out at you the most ABSURD CRUEL insults then tell you that you can pull chunks of his ass hair to. Hopefully you leave before he flashes you.

Thanks for asking me omg💀💀!! Tell me who I forgot yall xx

[thekatebridgerton]

Today on another episode of my ' on a scale of 1 to 8 series'

'On a scale of 1 to 8 how well do the Bridgerton love interests handle getting kidnapped by Bridgerton enemies '

1) Kate: handles it the best out of everyone, she provokes her captors, steals a gun, shoots her way out of danger and waits for rescue with her captors tied up and terrified. She's not in danger, she's tired, hungry and pissed off. She's THE danger.

2) Simon: choses to not engage in violence, he negotiates his own ransom because he's rich, they either let him go or he finds a way to steal a phone/ escape and proceeds to call the cops, overall he's pretty chill

3) Michael: chaotic good, he's mildly angry at the situation. He somehow gets out of his restraints, and does a whole home alone booby trap operation on his captors to make them wish they'd let him go when they had a chance. He was in the army so he knows his stuff. He walks out of this, still very annoyed

4) Penelope: mildly agitated but not that concerned about her own safety. She's the type to make a dummy that looks like her, put it in the bed and sneak out of her cell, and run away from her captors. There's a benefit to being used to passing unnoticed, she knows how to be invisible, so she escapes silently. She gets rescued after spending a night hiding in the woods

5) Sophie: she's so far down the list because Sophie actually believes her kidnappers are #people, paid to kidnap her. She's agitated, but she reverse Stockholm syndroms her situation, she makes her captors empatize with her and talks them into either letting her go or putting her up in better accomodations until she gets rescued.

6) Phillip: he's quite agitated and very aware that his best bet is to stay put. So he punches a couple of captors, secretly steals a gun as a plan B, and waits for Eloise to rescue him. I feel like Phillip would rather kill the least ammount of people possible with the gun he stole. So he plays good hostage. The captors do not treat him well but Phillip is honestly more afraid of a pissed off Eloise than he is of his kidnappers.

7) Gareth: he's highly panicked, chaotic evil, going through a series of very not good emotions. He makes himself such an annoying pain in the butt for his kidnappers that by the time he's rescued his kidnappers are begging to be released from their suffering.

8) Lucy: so far down the list because she doesn't actually believe she's being kidnapped, thinks this is a roleplay prank played by Gregory. Her captors think she's delulu because she keeps insisting this is just like her last wedding. Lucy gets rescued and Gregory lets her think she was never actually in any danger, because the alternative would be an annoyed Lucy. And he hates that.

So what do you think of my ranking dear readers? Do you think someone should have been higher or lower in the list? Let me know.

[prettyboysdontlookatexplosions]

i'm not gonna do a big year in review post like i did last year because on a strictly numerical level (a) i probably technically failed most of my resolutions and (b) i don't actually have the data because one of the ones i definitely failed was logging my habits to keep up, which i stopped doing in september when work got crazy and never picked back up. still ultimately i feel good about how things went down, generally. i didn't quite make this the year i got back into reading but i read more than i had the year before for sure, and i saw a lot of movies, most of them interesting or enjoyable, and some other art, too (the jenny holzer installation at the guggenheim, the ibsen play starring jeremy strong). i definitely listened to way more music. i got so good at hydrating by the end of the year that now i feel off if i drink less than 100 ounces a day lmao. i don't think i hit a 50% workout rate but i had a june that took working out off the map for several weeks and then when i tried to get back into it at the level i'd been doing before it sucked and i needed way more rest days for a long ass time; lesson learned for the future, and right now i feel like i have a good routine going. steps was kind of a similar story but this fall was pretty successful (having a zillion clients all over the goddamn city was helpful in that regard). i do want to be more proactive about it on a day to day basis because i do think it might help me sleep to hit that 10k or so (and i think it helps with soreness too, preventatively and amelioratively, which spellcheck says is not a word but should be!!) but i'm feeling more and more like flexibility is the name of the game in some things so while i will be tracking them daily/weekly/monthly this year, i will ultimately consider it a win if i get to december 31 with 3,650,000 behind me.

i fell off on logging and journaling, and never really got a handle on doing mobility work or meditating, but i finished the year feeling like while on the one hand it was nice to know i had enough structures in place to make it through my busy season a little on edge but never really losing my mind, i also felt like ignoring these things completely for a while ultimately as i look back drew my attention to why i wanted to make space for them in the first place; the morning routine stuff is where i get it together enough to check in on my life, process some stuff, and make adjustments as necessary; doing some kind of mobility stuff, even if it's just hitting the foam roller at bedtime, is just physically necessary if i want to keep working out the way i have been working out and i have to stop acting like i can have one without the other.

i decided for 2024 i didn't need to set a guideline around internet use the way i had in 2023, just an intention to be mindful, and, um, well that was a huge failure but an instructive one; again, lesson learned (and it's actually crazy how much even a guided 5 meditation in the morning alters my basic instincts for the rest of the day about when i want to Scroll). i didn't floss........ i should floss.

i did okay with doing Life Tasks semi-regularly and the attitude of "20 minutes Task Time per day" was helpful in some ways but didn't address the Giant Ever Growing Backlog Of Tasks I Have Been Putting Off For Months To Years, which suggests a need for a new approach; this year i'm gonna try a tip i read somewhere to plan out your tasks on a weekly basis, including scheduling them, not just throwing them on a "weekly to-do list," and aim for 5 a week. i gave up on 20 minutes of digital tidying per day and i think the answer there is just to not set a minimum above the minimum, so to speak. if i delete 5 emails or unsubscribe from 1 thing that counts.

i don't know how i wound up doing with my goal to have One Human Connection Per Day (At Least Half The Days Of The Year) but i had a lot of fun this year and i am finishing it feeling in many ways still awkward and neurotic but more connected and secure than i was a year ago, and feeling almost overwhelmed with how true it feels to say "my life is full of doing fun stuff with people i like" after all the years i spent convinced this was completely impossible for me to achieve. this year i don't think i'm going to slot this into my daily habits, partly because sometimes multiple things happen on one day or i text someone to initiate plans-making on the same day someone texts me, partly because the advice i saw about doing stuff also recommend task-batching and i think there may be some utility to that here as well, and partly because well i do have a schedule that is incredibly variable by week and season and this past fall for example i'm not sure i could have handled much more in september/october than free store + one fun thing a week which is more or less how it shook out for a while there. i also don't think i'm going to set a number because, well, i feel good about it right now. i do want to set a non-quantifiable intention to keep getting a little braver about forging new connections or deepening ones that are shallow but seem promising (serial killer way to say "making friends" sorry i am still in some ways quite Insane about this topic, the prime locus of my insanity for many years), and within that specifically to keep getting better at going to local stuff even when none of my closest local friends are going to be there as my security blanket lol. this year early on i finally texted someone i knew from pantry biz with whom i had exchanged mutual "we should hang out sometime" sentiments and it turns out that they're one of those people where once someone else makes the first move they welcome you in a lot so that the "hey, wanna catch a movie or something?" text i sent while deep breathing (because i am Insane) wound up leading pretty directly to a bunch of other incredibly fun 2024 memories, which is like almost irritatingly on the nose as a life lesson but otherwise very nice. relatedly (to texting that stresses me out because of my Problems) i want to get better at texting people back in a timely fashion and also at being more impulsive in a positive way about sending texts when people are on my mind.

the two things i feel real regret over this year are the reading thing and also writing... not a great year for writing, although i can at least look back on i would say three newsletters i'm proud of and one fic i was very glad to complete. i also did... okay... at contributing at the singles jukebox now that We're So Back on a monthly schedule. but i wrote basically nothing other than the occasional blurb after sometime in may and that feels bad and also suggests i need to find some way to integrate writing more reliably into my routine. i don't want to set a word count goal because part of what's going on is that i have some projects i'm picking away at that are more demanding of planning & brainstorming & slower more considered writing than my usual (beloved!) genres of Blogging and Fanfiction but i do think it needs to be quantifiable because ummm otherwise i simply will Not. so i am thinking this is a daily goal too. same goes for reading and in that case i do think i can set an outcome goal, which is 50 books.

ok well i guess this wound up being a year in review post anyway lmao. whatever it's capricorn season it's my time to shine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! neatened up resolutions post for my own ease of reference incoming shortly

[howlsofbloodhounds]

How do you think color(and potentially the rest of the friendgroup) feels about killer age/pet regressing

Do you think killer would try to hide it? Does killer even have a single clue of what is happening to him or why he sometimes feels like that? Would color know what it is?

I think he has a tendency to age regress most frequently when in Stage 1. It’s extremely hard to spot any signs of age regression when he’s in higher Stages, especially Stages 2 and 3, one who’d suppress and resist against vulnerability and ignore any ‘childlike’ urges or wants until his body breaks down from the stress and the other that’s basically pure survival instincts and aggression.

I think pet regression would be a lot more common in Stages 2-3. In Stage 3, Killer doesn’t really think, he just is.

He’ll curl up like a cat wherever he wants, and he’ll hiss and bite, and if he wants affection, then he’ll basically just do the skeleton equivalent of a cat walking up, jumping on you, stepping all over your stomach, plopping down wherever he wants, and if you think about moving or touching him wrong, he’ll bite you. Hard.

Given Killer is probably chronically online and uses his phone to further dissociate while working with Nightmare, I’m sure he’s considered trying to look it up—but he also doesn’t know if he wants to know.

Or perhaps because these are involuntary and triggered by reaching a breaking point, he often doesn’t even fully remember or comprehend what happened—and once back in Stage 2, it’s easy to dismiss it as not real.

Surprisingly, or unsurprisingly, Killer finds himself in good hands.

I’m sure Color is the first who witnessed something like it, back when Killer was still with Nightmare. I doubt he knew the word “age regression,” at the time, but he understood what was happening. Could empathize with it.

Not because he himself only experiences age regression the way Killer was at the moment though, but because he also shares a mind, body, and soul with six children. He is passively influenced by them, and when is a soul is “closer” to Color, he often feels younger than he is.

His thoughts become more simplified and straightforward, his speech does as well—sometimes stuttering with uncertainty. Black and white thinking becomes more extreme, and emotions are heightened more than they already are for him— just this time without a layer of adult rationalization and sometimes without the presence of Patience to temper them.

For example, when Kindness is around and influencing him, he’s so focused on being Kind he goes about it the way a child would and not the way an adult would such as;

1. being *filled with Kindness and handing away things important to him without thinking because someone else looked like they needed or wanted it more,

2. being *filled with Kindness and hugging/having the urge to hug strangers without consent or warning because they seem angry or upset (which can result in strangers getting scared or angry and yelling at or hitting Color),

3. seeing an injured bird, being *filled with Kindness, and wanting to help but being unable to comprehend how to do that so he clumsily picks up the bird and ends up hurting it more which could also upset Ness into bursting into tears. (Which could potentially lead to Ness’ influence wavering enough for Color to think as himself and actually help the bird properly and hopefully cheer and calm down the child.)

And because they're six souls of various ages, their influence over Color can put him in various different mindsets of different ages. So he can be 4-5 thanks to Kindness, 12-13 thanks to Bravery, 17 thanks to Perseverance, maybe even any ageless sort of feeling thanks to Patience.

And thanks to his own experience with this, his experience with taking care of the kids when they’re nearby but aren’t taking him over so much, his old memories of taking care of Papyrus (so old they feel like decades ago), and his vague, blurry memories of Delta and Epic taking care of him when he’s like that, he’s equipped to help his friend.

Sans and Beta don’t exactly experience what Color and the souls do, as they are more often than not either completely separate or they’re Delta, and Delta tends to take Sans’ age and Beta’s bravery—but Delta also knows what it’s like to have a kid in your head.

I highly doubt he knows what’s going on with Killer, but he’d approach it through the lens of his experiences with Color—who he didn’t know was influenced by the souls for a very long time, because Color wasn’t even sure the souls’ voices and influence were real, not just figments of his lonely and guilt ridden imagination not wanting to be alone anymore, and was worried about being called “crazy” (not helped by the fact that Color very likely has experienced psychosis in the Void).

Epic most definitely took it in a stride, I feel. Making jokes and puns and quips. From what little I’ve seen of Epic, he seems to be an Uncle like figure to kiddos.

[bad268]

I would love a story with Elastic Droid where reader is always cold and steals droid's hoodies and stuff to stay warm and one day during a group live stream reader walks behind them to get something and everyone including chat freaks out because they know it's droid's clothes

+ Could you write some living together fluff about elastic droid 🙏 -Anon

+ could you write something for droid with an s/o that’s really energetic all the time but just randomly crashes out and sleeps for hours 😋😋😋 -Anon

Domestic Bliss (Elastic Droid X Reader)

Fandom: RPF/Youtubers

Requested: Clearly (Hope yall don't mind I combined these)

Warnings: None

POV: Second Person (You/you)

W.C. 1447

Summary: 4 things you and Droid do that's domestic

As always, my requests are OPEN

MASTERLIST // HITLIST

~~ (^Pinterest)

“Can I trust you to saute these onions without burning the place down?” You asked as you finished cutting the veggies for dinner. You were making dinner for the boys who were coming over to celebrate your engagement, but you had made cookies earlier with Droid. In true chaotic fashion, the flour had gone everywhere, and you wanted to take a shower before they got there.

“I think I can cook a few onions,” Droid scoffed, taking the spoon from your hand and lifting the cutting board to put the now-chopped onions in the pot. “It’s not like it’s rocket science.”

“Ok, I’m trusting you with this. Just please don’t burn the house down,” You replied before slowly turning and walking away. You were about halfway through your shower when Droid came into the bathroom. You peeked around the curtain to see him looking frantic. “Please tell me you didn’t burn it. That was our only onion.”

“No! It’s just not cooking!” Droid defended immediately as he stopped pacing and looked at you. “I don’t know why it’s not cooking! I turned the stove on, I turned it up when I noticed it wasn’t cooking, and I don’t know what to do now.”

“Give me the towel. I’ll check it out,” You climbed out and wrapped yourself in the towel before walking into the kitchen. Immediately, you smelt gas, and your eyes widened as you looked at Droid. Then you ran over to the stove and turned it off. “Are you insane!?”

“What did I do?” He shouted after you, following you into the kitchen. “The stove was on, but it wasn’t getting hot!”

“Droid, babe, you turned the gas on, so good job, but you didn’t light it,” You explained as calmly as you could. “Gas stoves need to be lit.”

“So I almost just gassed us?” He laughed, not realizing the severity of the situation. 

“You know what? Get out of the kitchen,” You said, snapping your fingers as you pointed for him to leave the kitchen. “Go order a couple of pizzas. You’re banned from the kitchen.” ~~~

“Droid!” You shouted from your bedroom. You knew he was in the middle of a stream, but you needed his help now. “Droid!”

“I’m here,” He sighed as he walked in, taking in the scene before his eyes widened, and he rushed to you. You just bought some clothes online, so you were trying them on. This one shirt, however, seemed to be 5 sizes smaller than you ordered, and you couldn’t get your head out.  “What the fuck happened?”

“I don’t know, but I need help,” You rushed out, starting to get claustrophobic. “I’m never buying anything from this store again! Their sizing is so off!”

“If it makes you feel better,” Droid started as he grabbed the front of the shirt and pulled it down just enough to meet your eyes, “it’s a cute top.”

“A cute top that doesn’t fit,” you rolled your eyes. “I buy clothes to fit me, not the other way around here. I don’t even know if I want this shirt anymore.”

~~~

A quiet knocking pulled Droid’s focus away from his screen. He was in the middle of editing a video, and there was this one part that was really pissing him off. He could not get this clip just right, and he was focusing so hard on it that he lost track of time. 

He leaned back in his chair with a sigh as he spun the chair around to see you wrapped in one of your throw blankets from the living room. You slowly waddled towards him, stopping directly in front of him for a second before sitting on his lap. You didn’t say anything as you simply laid your head on his shoulder.

“You tired?” Droid whispered as he wrapped his arms around you and swayed the chair back and forth a little. “It can't be that late, right?”

“It’s almost midnight,” You whined as you rubbed your face against his neck. “You said you would be done by 9, so we could watch that new movie.”

“I’m sorry, I got carried away with this video,” Droid apologized as he rested his head on top of yours before turning back to his computer. “You can stay with me until I finish up. How does that sound?”

“Better. The bed is so cold without you, and this blanket isn’t really helping,” You complained as you pressed your body closer to Droid’s.

“Maybe you're getting sick or something,” He commented more to himself than you as he pressed the back of his hand to your forehead. “You are a little warm. Here,” He pulled back, having to pry your arms from around him as he took off his hoodie and helped you put it on, “that should help you for a while. I’ll finish this up and tell the guys I can’t stream with them tomorrow.”

“You don’t have to cancel the stream,” You tried to object, but Droid just pulled you back to rest again. “The fans will miss you.”

“They’ll understand I gotta take care of you,” Droid replied immediately, planting a kiss on the crown of your head. “If anything, they'll call me a simp.”

~~~

Droid was, once again, in the middle of streaming Five Nights at Freddy’s with Puffer when they randomly heard a glass shatter, followed by sprinting. Puffer jumped in shock, thinking it was in the game at first, but when the running sounded too real, he turned to look at the door before back at Droid, who was unaffected.

“I think Oso broke something,” Puffer said before pointing at the door. “Do you wanna switch and go check?”

“It was probably Y/n more than Oso,” Droid chuckled under his breath, opting to just stick the night out. “It happens more often than you’d think. Now, if we hear a louder thud or it just stops, there’s a problem.”

Puffer looked between Droid and the door multiple times as he continued hearing running around the house. It went on for almost 20 minutes before it suddenly stopped. 

“Uh, I think something happened,” Puffer pointed out. Droid was back on the game after Puffer died at 2 AM. “There’s nothing.”

“Give it five minutes tops,” Droid replied after briefly pausing the game and listening. Then he went back to the game. Sure enough, about three minutes later, there was quiet knocking at the door. Droid quickly paused the game and gestured for Puffer to take over. “Here, you play.”

They swapped places before Droid continued to the door to see you sheepishly looking at him. He sighed, opening his arms for you to collapse in them as he rocked you back and forth for a bit.

“I broke that one vase you got me for our anniversary,” you whispered as you buried your face in his chest further, trying to hide from his reaction. “I didn’t mean to.”

“Don’t even worry about it. I’ll get you another one, but you’re not hurt right?” Droid comforted before changing his attention to look at your arms and legs for any cuts from the glass or bruises from maybe running into walls (one time!).

“I’m fine,” you chuckled tiredly trying to lean back into his body. “I slipped a bit in the kitchen and knocked my elbow, but other than that, I’m good. Tired, but I’m good.”

“Alright, come here,” he pulled you back into his arms after looking wearily at your arms. You wrapped them around his torso before he could scrutinize them too much. “You can sit with me and Puffer while we stream.”

“But I wanna sleep,” you whined, planting your feet at the door. “How much longer are you streaming?”

“At least another hour,” Droid guessed as he looked back at Puffer who just died again. “Dude, you suck at this game!”

“I don’t see you playing right now!” Puffer shouted back. 

“Fuck you, dude! I’m being a good boyfriend!” Droid shouted back before turning his attention to you. You were almost asleep against his chest so he dropped his voice to whisper, “Here, you can sit with me. If you fall asleep, I’ll try not to be too loud for you. Actually, I think you’re already asleep.”

~~~~~

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