#and I simply did not know it was his birthday til like nightfall

[amphirrhvx]

happy (unofficial) (late) birthday to everyone's favorite hollywood heartthrob 🩵

[urbigbiddygothgf]

euphoria

⚠️the trigger warnings are down in the tags, so feel free to check just in case this ficlet isn't really your thing⚠️ please enjoy

•••

"You're an odd one." The snake tilted it's head, revealing more of it's smooth scales and gold eye. It studied the boy in front of them, and slithered back into the shadows. Roman gasped, searching around for the snake. He caught a flash of gold in a bush, and he gulped.

"So tiny, so helpless.." Roman shot around to see the snake dangling from a tree branch, it's tongue flicking and extending the 's'. It slithered back up into the tree, leaving Roman feeling exposed as he backed away from the tree. "Why have you entered my territory?" The voice whispered into Roman's ear, causing him to squeak and fall away, only to find nothing. Roman stared at where he was sure the snake was, only to feel a heavyweight settle onto his shoulders and feel something smooth graze the back of his neck. He felt a wet stripe against his cheek, and soon enough the snake was staring into his eyes.

Roman stared at it, eyes wide. He opened his mouth to speak, but the only thing that came out was a whimper. The snake tilted it's head, as it's done before, and moved in unbelievably closer.

"I won't hurt you... Not yet, at least." Roman shivered at the smooth yet teasing voice. "Now, answer my question. What do you wish to gain by wandering into my territory?"

"M-My brother.. we got separated after the black cat startled us. We went down two different paths.." Roman whispered, daring to look up at the snake's eyes. Their golden eyes looked as though they were in deep though, and soon they sighed. "I-I didn't mean to-" Roman fell silent when the snake booped his upper lip, almost as though saying 'quiet' or 'hush'.

"Black cat..? There's no-" The snake fell silent, and groaned. "Virgil.. looks like he left his prince's side. Why though?" Golden brown eyes met gold ones. "You said you and your brother went down two different paths?" A nod from Roman. "Then he's heading towards the castle, if not he's already there.. go back the same way you came here, and go down the path your brother went. You'll see a castle of white and gold, go and say 'Ophidian' sent you."

Roman didn't want to argue, so he simply nodded. The snake slithered off his shoulders and into the grass below. "You best be on your way, beastie, these woods can get a little.." The snake looked over, revealing it's color shifting eyes going from gold, purple, white, then black.

"Mad, at nightfall. Til we meet again.." The snake hissed softly as it slithered back into the woods, leaving Roman flabbergasted. He collected himself quickly, and fixed his black hood, glancing once more over his shoulder before taking his leave.

After thirty minutes, he found where the paths split in two and sighed as he turned directions. The path was simply dirt, with flowers littered on the edges. The trees were overwhelmingly tall and the sky was a murky purple. Roman gulped as he heard faint whispers around him. He turned around, causing his cloak to brush against his boots. He could see nothing past a few inches, which didn't help his anxiety. Roman continued, a little more rushed and hurried. If Remus was at 'the castle', and alone, Roman needed to get there ASAP. The two weren't good alone for long periods of time, especially Remus.

The boy let out a shriek when he saw something jump across the path in front of him. He stumbled back, luckily not falling. Roman backed away slightly, unsure if the creature noticed him. His question was answered when he was grabbed from his ankle, and dragged into the flowers then into the bushes. The boy kicked and thrashed, occasionally letting out a groan when he was pulled onto a rock or twigs.

"Let- me go!" Roman kicked at the hand on his ankle, but gasped when he saw there wasn't a hand. There wasn't anything. He grabbed onto a log and threw a rock in the direction where he felt the presence. A little thunk was heard and the weight on his ankle was gone. Roman quickly dove over the log and ran back the way he was dragged. A loud shriek from behind him sounded off, and he felt the ground shake as that thing ran after him. Roman could see the path ahead, but stopped when the ground stopped trembling. He dared to turn around, and he was met with a figure in a crouched stance, eyes glowing gold. To familiar..

"Ophidian..?" He whispered. The figure suddenly got taller, and the golden eyes looked down at him. Roman gulped as he made a plan to run, but stopped when a chuckle was heard. The figure took a step forward, and smirked down at Roman.

"That's rich. My name is not 'Ophidian'," He teased, taking a bow in the most dramatic way possible, maybe even worse then Roman. "My name is Declan. I will assume I didn't tell you when we met?" Roman wasn't even listening, he was more concerned as to why the snake- 'Declan', was not a snake. He had scales on the right side of his face, but everything else was human. Roman sputtered as he backed away slowly. Declan lifted his only brow, and made a noise of realization.

"Oh, yes, I am not just a snake, if that is why you have a face of shock, beastie. Though I am fifty-fifty, overall." Declan shrugged. Roman nodded slowly.

"You.. you rescued, me? Were you following me?" Roman spat, becoming more defensive as he put more space between the two. Declan looked away, and sighed. "You were!"

"I, can explain. Once you left, I soon realized it was to risky letting you off on your own, as you witnessed. So I simply followed from afar to make sure you got to the castle safely." He explained. Roman squinted at the man, trying to search for a lie. Declan simply stood there, tall and confident with his response. Roman sighed, and dropped all of his doubts. "I thought you should know I still fully intend to get you there safely, whether you agree with it or not. So might as well accept that you are stuck with me til we reach the castle."

Roman knew he shouldn't be anywhere near this man, he didn't know him. They didn't know each other. He took note how Declan didn't rush him or question him after, simply waited for him to process the situation. Roman stared at the ground when he felt a hand on his shoulder, and he looked up at the man before him. "Well.." He held out his elbow. "Shall we continue, beastie?"

The boy stared at Declan with doubt, but linked their arms anyways, somehow knowing this was a horrible idea. His stomach turned as he lead them back onto the path, and continued. Roman looked down in shame for allowing this, but the snake seemed to have.. 'okay' intentions on helping him. His mind traveled to Remus, wondering if his brother was at the palace. Wondering if he was welcomed with open arms, or if he was left abandoned outside. He didn't like the idea of his brother alone, it made him feel sick or dizzy.

"You seem uncomfortable," Declan whispered. "Is everything alright, beastie?"

Roman groaned, dodging the question. "Why are you calling me 'beastie'? Do you call everyone 'beastie', or am I just unfortunate?" Roman snickered. Declan lifted a brow, and chuckled at the response. Roman felt a warmth radiate in his chest from the chuckle alone.

"Well, excuse me, 'beastie', but you never gave me your name. And if you had, I'd still call you beastie." Declan huffed, and it was Roman's turn to chuckle. The snake beamed down at the boy as he watched him bubble with little chuckles.

"Roman," He whispered once he stopped giggling. He met with gold eyes, and smiled shyly. "my name's Roman Prince. My brother calls me 'Princey', though. He's the only one allowed too." Roman said, his smile fading. Declan looked over, a look of concern on his face. The boy looked down at his boots, and sighed under his breath, shaking away past memories. He put on a fake smile as he met with Declan's eyes. "He's a weird one, I kinda like it though. We're actually twins, so it's kinda nice that we have different personalities. Makes me feel like there is one me."

Declan nodded, not really minding Roman's little commentary as they walked down the path. "Is it just you and him?"

Roman shook his head. "We have a little sister, but we were separated when my parents divorced. My father took my sister, and my mother kept Remus and I. It was going well til my mother started drinking. She would find comfort in liquor, and Remus stepped up. He felt as though he had to because he's the oldest, so he has to take care of me, and I'm thankful he managed to get food on the table. How he managed to be a father, mother, and brother to me. He was there when my mother was passed out in a bar somewhere or in someone else's bed.." Roman frowned at the memories of his mother coming home at dawn with a headache and a brown paper bag. How she would scream at Remus whenever he asked where she was, or when they would argue for hours because Remus was more of a parental figure to Roman then their own mother.

He sighed shakily. "And then my father, he.. he took his own life." Roman blinked back some of his tears. "I-I don't know what happened to my sister.. I don't if she's living with family, or if she's in an orphanage somewhere. Sorry- I-I don't mean to give you a sob story." Roman chuckled sadly, bringing a hand up to wipe his eyes. Declan placed his other hand atop of Roman's, and whispered it was all fine. Roman sniffled as he put on a sad smile.

"Her name, what was her name?" Declan whispered. Roman looked at him with teary eyes, and smiled.

"Reese.. Her name was Reese." Roman said, a smile on his lips at saying her name.

"I'm starting to see a recurring theme with the names.." Declan snickered. Roman snorted, and silently agreed. "Did you and your brother ever leave?"

"Yes, when we turned seventeen. Remus and I packed a bag, grabbed some money and left. We're nineteen now, our birthday was two weeks ago." Roman smiled at how they chose to celebrate. The two gathered around the table, got tipsy, and ate some pie. It was small, and stupid, but it made Roman smile nonetheless. Declan wished him a late happy birthday, and tensed when he saw the palace gates. Roman gaped at the landscape and the giant castle. His breath caught in his throat as guards approached.

"State your business."

"We came here looking for a man, looks exactly like him." Declan pointed at Roman, and he waved awkwardly. "Have you seen him?"

"Yes, the prince has him in the castle as we speak. Go on in." They pushed the gates open, and the two strolled inside. Roman gasped at the beautiful flowers that scattered across the land, all white or blue. He peered over the bridge, looking down into the water. Little fish swam along, and he gushed at the beautiful green one that stood out among the others. Declan took his hand to lead him forward, the castle doors were opened with little mice servants running out onto the grass, laughter erupting as they neared. Roman looked over from behind a bush shaped like a dog, and gasped at the sight of Remus. His brother was seated in a chair next to what was presumably the prince, and he melted at the sound of him laughing. There wasn't much to laugh about, so he was happy to hear his brother erupt with giggles.

"More tea?" The prince offered, holding up a pot. Remus nodded, thanking the prince. "Oh my!" The prince gasped at the sight of Roman and Declan. "More guest!" He clapped happily as he practically ran over, crushing Roman in a hug. The boy yelped, letting go of Declan's hand to return the embrace. Remus looked over his shoulder, and smiled at the sight of his baby brother. He got up and walked over, taking his brother into his arms and holding him there. Roman got teary as he held Remus just a bit tighter, relieved to be united again.

"You look terrible." Remus mumbled into his hair. Roman scoffed as he playfully shoved Remus away.

"At least for now I can except that, I certainly don't feel like my best self. I doubt you do either." Remus nodded at that, and the prince squealed. Roman jumped at that, even Declan flinched.

"So you're Roman! Remus has told me alot about you, and I have to say, I'm very impressed with what I've heard. Oh! How rude of me," The prince took a step back, and bowed. "I am Prince Patton of Euphoria, a pleasure to meet you."

"The pleasure is all mine, your highness." Roman also took a bow, as did Declan. Patton giggled, and waved off the formal title.

"Please, call me Patton! No need to be all formal." Patton said. "You look awfully tired, would you like to rest? I can have the mice set up guest rooms, run you a bath, and provide some clean clothing. Maybe even get some food in your stomach." The twins eyed each other.

"That's a very generous offer, your hig- ugh, Patton." Roman caught himself. "But we wouldn't wanna impose. Wouldn't wanna get in your hair."

Patton laughed at that. "Please, don't be silly! I love having guest over, and you wouldn't impose on anything. Trust me, I'd love to have you over, even if just for a night. What do you say?"

"I think we should take it," Remus spoke. "When was the last time we got to not worry, or the last time we let someone else do something for us? I think we deserve it, Roman. But we're not going to if you don't want to."

Roman looked over at Declan, but he was facing away from them all, clearly tense and uncomfortable. As though he doesn't want a say in this decision. Roman sighed, and smiled. "We'd love to be your guests, Patton. Thank you, so much. It's very generous." Roman smiled sweetly, loving how the prince jumped in pure joy.

"That's amazing! Come, I'll show you your rooms!"

Roman was going to follow until a hand came down on his wrist, and he looked to see Declan. "He'll catch up with you." Declan chirped. Patton nodded, and walked off with Remus into the castle.

"Declan? What's the matter?" Roman asked, giving him his full attention. The snake looked down at the space between them, and sighed.

"I'm afraid I'm not staying, beastie." He said.

"What? What do you mean you're not staying?"

"As I've said before, I came with you so you could be with your brother again, and to get you to the castle safely." Declan gestured around them. "It seems I've done that, so I will take my leave."

"But it's dangerous at night- you told me that." Roman chipped. Declan snickered.

"Oh, beastie.. you underestimate me." He smiled, flashing his fangs. Roman stared at them, and dropped his gaze to where Declan held his wrist. "I'll be fine. I'll turn into my snake form and slither back to my home." Somehow that made Roman more anxious for the man he'd consider a friend. He basically told him his life story, and he was interested in Declan's, if he'd be okay with sharing it. "I still see you're a bit uneasy with me leaving.."

"Yeah.. I am. Dee please, just stay the night, and I'll feel much better if you leave during daylight." Roman pleaded, slipping his hands into Declan's. "Please.. stay?"

Declan stared down at the boy's pleading eyes, and he couldn't find it in himself to say no. Roman was worried about him, and that was surprising. He would be lying if he said it didn't feel good to have someone worry about him.

"Okay. I'll stay the night, but I'm leaving tommorow. Not even you can convince me otherwise." Declan sighed, and Roman smiled.

"At least you're staying.."

"How cute, you two are having a moment." They both jumped away from each other, and looked over to see a man scratching at his chin. Purple eyes, black clothing, brown hair-

"You're the cat!" Roman gasped. The man eyed him, but nodded. He made his way over and took Roman's hand, placing a kiss on his knuckles. Roman flushed at the gesture, and looked down to hide his red cheeks.

"The name's Virgil, but yes, I am 'the cat'. And who might you be?" Virgil purred. Roman glanced up at the other man, and smiled shyly.

"Roman, a pleasure."

"Oh, the pleasure is all mine." He smirked. Virgil straightened out though when he remembered Declan was there. "And as always, pleasure to see you again, Dec." Virgil forced a smile at the sight of Declan. The snake rolled his eyes, but placed a smile on as well.

"I wish I could say seeing you brings me pleasure." He mumbled. Roman looked at him confused, and he smiled down at Roman. A real, genuine smile. "We should get settled, right? You said you could use a bath."

"I did?"

"You did!" Declan sweeped the boy up and carried Roman bridal style, causing Roman to yelp and wrap his arms around the other's neck. Virgil huffed, but shifted back into a cat and ran along inside the castle. Declan followed along, adored by how Roman tried to drink in as much of the scenery. Roman tapped his shoulder, and the man set him down gently.

"Wow.. this is all, just wow." Roman whispered, looking up at the white crystal chandelier. Declan nodded, a smile on his face just watching Roman all awestruck. He turned to face Declan, and let out an excited squeak. "This is amazing.. Look at the stain glass, and those flowers- ugh, they could make me weep! And those little mice! So cute!" Roman gushed. Declan tilted his head, the smile on his face only growing. The other continued to point out the beautiful artifacts and paintings, and spin around, growing red at realization.

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to ramble." He chuckled awkwardly. Declan shook his head as he walked over, placing an arm around Roman's shoulder's. The snake sniffed at the other' hair, and placed a gentle kiss on the crown of his head.

"It's okay, really." He whispered. Roman turned red and pulled his hood up to cover his face. Declan snorted, and pulled him closer. "This is fine, right..?" He asked, all his confidence draining at the thought of Roman uncomfortable.

Roman met his eyes, and smiled softly. It'll take him a bit to realize it, but he loves those eyes. He'll find out soon enough.

"Yeah, just fine.."

•••

(a part 2..?)

[poetrycommentguy-blog]

A LAMENT FOR DIANNE

                      A simple Child,              

             That lightly draws its breath,              

            And feels its life in every limb,               

            What should it know of death? 

(William Wordsworth, “Now We Are Severn”, 1798)

 _____________________________________________________________

  I. The Fury

 Thunder ripping, lightning slashing

                 through the blackened skies;

Bursting terror, stark and flashing

                 in my mirrored eyes.

Forest shadows’ fingers tracing

                 tears of rancid rain;

September twenty-fourth, that night,

                 then began the pain.

So senseless not to know back then

                 the causes of this fury,

and its passing, soon forgotten,

                 early, much too early.

  II. Nature’s Deception

 ‘Twas then I turned and saw that smiling,

              Master Sun was rising,

Healing fears and drying tears,

              far too soon surprising

drooping, cowering flower-heads

              with His most vital touch.

He closed their minds, their haunted thoughts,

              their memories and such;

he warmed our hearths and heavy hearts

              with his bold fine-fueled fires,

and gave some hope and purpose, then,

              to our best dreamt desires.

 By nightfall I’d forgotten all

              the “whys” and all the “wrongs”,

and fell asleep while Mother Moon

              sang soft and soothing songs

of Heavenly hosts, of angels blessed,

              of sweet eternal peace,

just out of touch for curious boys

              beyond my little reach;

for I was just a boy of four,

              in nineteen forty-nine,

what did I know of “Spirit-things”,          

              just beyond our door?

  III. Troubled Dreams

 I fell asleep; I dreamt a dream:

              sad sounds in forest deep,

troubled skies above my head

              and shaking at my feet;

Angels throwing lightning-bolts

              on all the living souls,

especially aimed at little boys

              who dared to dig big holes

into the solid ground beneath

              the flowers and the dirt,

when digging was the only way

              to ease the rage and hurt.

 I dreamt of It, as real as now:

              the Weeping Willow Tree,

its many roots, slow-moving, bound

              tight tentacles ‘round me,

dragged me downward, earth to stone,

              gravel, through grey clay,

 into the Void, where little boys

               were not allowed to play.

When I awoke with eyes aglaze

              at morning’s sunny start,

the dark clouds still hung out within

              my sobbing, stuttering heart.

   IV. Further Questions

 I then asked of my Father, Mother,

             and my brother’s form

about the other haunted night,

             the terrifying storm:

 “If a small tree falls in the forest deep

and there’s no one there to hear her weep...;

if the angry storm is so fierce around,

how, then, do we know there’s a crying sound?”

 My Mother, she looked skyward, up,

            my Father, groundward, down;

my older brother fixed me with

             his silent, furrowed frown:

“If you’re worried about that vicious storm

             the night before,” they said,

“and if you think, as children do,

             that part of you is dead,

know this: of fifty thousand trees

             in yonder forest deep,

one small and weak green tree did fall,

             fell quietly asleep.”

 “But where,” I chanced, “where did she go?”

         “To compost,” Father led.

“And where,” I cried, “...and where is that?”

         “In Heaven,” Mother said.

“It’s only one, just one small tree,”

         brother’s voice assured;

“Just one,” it echoed through my heart,

             I’d heard before that word,

for “one” to me, “just one”, to me

             meant loneliness and fears;

I turned away to hide from them

             my burning, angry tears.

  V. September 24th, 1992: Answers

 I’ve held this story, up ‘til now,

             my age is forty-sEven

I don’t believe in “compost” Dad,

           nor Mom, believe in “Heaven”;

yet even now, at times, when I’m

           in anguish or in pain,

I think back on that fearful night,

           the night of blackened rain.

I know there is one-half of me

           that long ago was dead;

I choke, I cry, I rage, then put

            the other half to bed.

        If a small tree falls       

        in the forest deep,    

     to my way of thinking,         

             everyone           

              should           

               weep.

 Commentary:

         A LAMENT FOR DIANNE was written on October 6th, 1992 in memory of my twin sister, Dianne Gordon Bosomworth, who died on September 24th, 1949 at 4 years of age. References to The Storm, The Weeping Willow Tree, Clay-bank and The Void can be found in my short story, THE PASSING (2017) or in my childhood memoir (unpublished), ME, MYSELF & YOU: Musing Memoirs (1992).

            In December of 1991 I had a very painful accident. The pain centred in my back but referred to my arms and legs. I was barely able to walk. Three discs herniated and twisted and I was psychiatrically diagnosed with PTSD. This freak accident conjured up memories of my twin sister, who suffered from severe cerebral palsy, affecting all of her functions, her ability to talk and control over her limbs. I wondered if I too, was going to be severely crippled or even die. The referred pain gradually went away, but the back pain remained as “chronic pain”. Having tapped into my own vulnerability and the feelings of fear, hurt, anger and rage, this event led to me writing in earnest. I was almost obsessed with figuring out what a small boy of four would feel like when his perceptions about his sister’s “disappearance” were inconsistent and confusing. This was one of many poems/stories that I wrote about this lonely and frightening situation.

           "If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?" is a philosophical question that relate to aspects of both observation and perception first suggested by George Berkeley in 1710. My child poses one question (IV. stanza 2) that relates both to observation and perception. It becomes clear to me that my dream has something to do with the sudden disappearance of Dianne. My tears are tears of loneliness, anger and frustration, not yet tears of true mourning. Why had she simply disappeared?

           When my sister was alive, I thought that she talked. We had this kind of psychic bond that allowed us to communicate. When she disappeared, I suspect that the decision of my parents was to not utter the words “died” or “dead”. Instead I was told that she had “passed on”. I had heard this phrase before and had figured (as children will do) that when you “pass on”, you go to Heaven to visit and then return, refreshed; when you “pass away”, however, you go to stay. I had been told that Dianne had gone for a visit, but this was not reflected in the furtive stares I was getting from the neighbours and the relatives who suddenly appeared in our house. Where there were whispers, there were lies; I knew this by the tender age of four. Additionally, small children often know what dreams mean without much prodding or without the attendance of Sigmund Freud, although they may not have the cognitive development to understand what a “Spirit-thing” is. Furthermore, I didn’t know any “dead people”. It was not a topic for discussion in front of children in our home.

           The “burning, angry tears” I shed were not directed at my parents, although I thought that they knew the truth. These were not tears of crying for the loss of my sister; they were tears of anger (indeed rage) that she had betrayed me. She had decided on the trip to Heaven for a visit and decided to stay; she had not told me. This sense of betrayal had to be hidden from my family, where such “weak” emotions were not allowed by my Father. Slowly I pushed them to the back of my mind and body so that I simply forgot about her, except on those times when I scraped my knee and was allowed to cry (and wailed). In grade 1 my important “Elfie” doll also disappeared, carefully plotted and managed by my Mother and my teacher. I began to become unhinged.

           It was then that my friend Corey Ray Mackenson came to the rescue. He was a rather strange 12-year-old who befriended me until my thirteenth birthday and then disappeared in body and in my memory. He claimed to live in Zephyr, Alabama. My Mom believed he was my “imaginary friend”; that’s because he would never come into my house, either at “The House on the Hill” (where I was born) or at The Farm (where we moved when I was about 10-years-old). He likely saved my life. But that’s another story you might read if you have the chance to read my childhood memoirs, ME, MYSELF AND YOU: Musing Memoirs (1992) or my short story THE PASSING (2017).

           At the adult age of fourty-seven, you might think that the time for anger and tears must be over. The death of a twin is a serious business, especially when it is not dealt with immediately. Finding myself in physical, psychological and spiritual pain from my accident, I was dragged back, kicking and screaming to the old theme of loss: the loss of my former Self, the loss of my job and some of my peers, the loss of my active role in the family and community, and the loss of self-esteem. To deal with all of this, I began to write frequently and furiously – poems, essays, and prose memoirs, most completed by 1992. It helped.

            By the time I wrote this poem, of course, I knew that Dianne had died peacefully as a result of complications from pneumonia. I had mourned her “passing” through counseling and therapy. Like any old wounded warrior, I was informed that I would have flair ups whenever I was going through a period of betrayal, sadness or loss and to never hide my vulnerability to myself or others. I stumbled upon the therapeutic value of writing with this poem. It still has the power to move me to tears.

           You will meet Dianne again in many of my poems as part of this journey moves forward and the layers of my feelings around the betrayal change and shift into the sacred place that is my very family. It is like the peeling of an onion – each layer leads further into the core, which may be the3 very Truth, if I am very lucky.

DBB