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incomingalbatross · 2 years ago

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Completely unedited and unexpanded reading notes on Tenthragon Ch. 8-19

Ch. 8

(filled with rage) Mary!!!!

That is all I have to say about chapter 8. This poor BABY. He doesn't understand how rules work! Scaring him doesn't HELP!

Okay wait I do have something else to say, and it's that I genuinely don't know what Hugh was getting at with his hints about Brendan's relationship to Paddy.

The obvious idea is that Brendan is Paddy's father, but then A) Hugh wouldn't hate Paddy if he weren't the Snake's son, right?? and B) Hugh says Paddy IS their cousin, implying he is ALSO something else.

This suggests a relation might be through Paddy's mother's side--was she a relation of theirs? I don't think she could be Hugh and Brendan's sister, though, because I think someone said she lived in China.

*throws up hands*

Ch. 9:

Paddy trying to hide from the Nightmare Guilt lurking in his mind is all too relatable. :(

Wait did Ellen say Hugh TOOK Paddy from his parents? I mean, no names obviously, but the baby mentioned has to be somebody we know and there's nobody else. How does THAT fit in here?

Ellen. Thank you for giving good advice, but also TAKE IT YOURSELF. If it's better to be punished by Brendan than kept in bondage by Hugh (and it IS), act on that? Don't ask the child to braver than you're being.

Ch. 10

Hugh: *tortures a child*

Hugh: UGH why are you always crying

I DO understand that he's replicating what Paddy's father did to him.

…That should really make him LESS surprised by the results.

Ch. 11:

All right, Hugh suffers SOME pangs of conscience. Not enough to actually face what he's doing, but some.

Ugggh this man. Wilfully fighting back against his softer feelings toward Paddy, of course, but I'm also just mad how he assumes Paddy will ENJOY misbehaving or breaking things. Even when Paddy says he doesn't want to! Hugh doesn't listen!

Ch. 12:

"surely you love him well enough to trust him?" That's the WHOLE THING, that's what Paddy can't get to, because he can't tell what's reasonable and what isn't so maybe a person like Brendon WOULD still cut his thumbs off for what he did! Maybe that's a reasonable consequence in Brendon's eyes! He can't piece together that that's incompatible with his love and respect for Brendon. Because he is a CHILD.

Hm, the sister lived in Other Thragoness all her childhood and Hugh refuses to say any more. Some evidence she could be Paddy's mother, then.

Oh NO poor BABY (he was caned)

Ch. 13:

Hugh: Hm. Why does hurting my baby cousin/nephew feel bad. Why am I trying to make him feel better. Why CAN'T I make him feel better by just pressing a button and magically turning off all his hurt feelings, it's like my actions have consequences

Ah yeah, Hugh's got a point, doesn't he? The "telling Brendon" threat isn't just empty, it's more likely to end HIS world instead of Paddy's.

Hugh: Well, having recreated my childhood trauma, I guess I'll recreate the consolations we got as well! Please don't examine any of this too closely (SUCH a mess)

And he literally HAS a way out of this self-created trap. Brendon wants to tell him Paddy's here! He is asking for an opportunity! And Hugh decides to keep going with the layers of lies instead.

"Hugo mio" aw that's cute

"DON'T TELL ME HE'S LIKE ROBIN I DON'T LIKE THOSE IMPLICATIONS"

"You would like him yourself if you knew him." OOF

Ch. 14:

Can't believe Paddy told Hugh he was "mean" for the first time ever and it was over Hugh's teasing him with a glimpse of "the baby"

(Also that Paddy's immediate reaction to hearing the baby was in the house was "Brendon doesn't like it better than me?" <3)

Brendon's a knight for the costume party. Of course.

Hugh speaking well of Quentin is…a lot. But also OW the blatantly awful things lying BARELY under the surface of what he tells Paddy--and that is the best he has to tell! It's just All Awful!

Of course, this isn't sustainable either. But give Hugh credit, he has very little practice thinking about other people's emotional welfare. He's trying not to be actively cruel here!!

Ch. 15:

Oh no, baby. :( Progress with Hugh is good but a barrier between him and Brendon is BAD. Unfair to both of them.

Ugggh, ANOTHER unjust adult in his life. Just what Paddy needed.

"Did you enjoy living at Victoria Lodge?" "Why, was I meant to?"

Brendon is his world! And yet he believes Brendon might cut his thumbs off! THIS is why little children are so vulnerable!!

He's HURTING HIMSELF ON PURPOSE to make a chance for Brendon to take care of him. HONEY

Oh the ESSAY. The best thing Miss Prince ever did was send Brendon Paddy's essay.

His mostly-dead relatives are his imaginary friends. I can't believe Paddy actually brought MORE Gothic to Thragoness.

His imaginary dad is just a version of Brendon who approves of him AUGH

He's REENACTING THE RING ABUSE AS A PRETEND Brendon get this child some better occupations

Ch. 16:

No Brendon not like that

…The flipside of the problem is that Brendon ALSO doesn't get that Paddy loves HIM. Because Paddy doesn't TRUST him and Brendon is misdiagnosing the symptoms (and doesn't have confidence he CAN do a decent job with Paddy)

Hugh. Hugh. I GET that you can't cope with Brendon's feelings being hurt either, but it doesn't help to yell at Paddy without actually explaining what he did wrong, and it ESPECIALLY doesn't help when this whole thing is your fault

(Though tbf, Paddy HAS been hiding his problem from Hugh. And Hugh doesn't want to see anything unpleasant unless it's put directly in front of him, so)

Hugh is such a WILD mixture of growing self-knowledge and complete blindness to Paddy. "Not that YOU would know anything about living in dread of discovery, of course"

Ch. 17

Ah yes the WORST POSSIBLE PERSON to catch Paddy. SURE WHY NOT.

All three of the Tenthragon boys are having the WORST DAY IMAGINABLE.

Incredibly impressive, though, what coherent characters both of these brothers are even filtered through Paddy's POV.

Oh Brendon. Buddy. I understand what you're doing, and Hugh literally asked for it because he can't achieve emotional honesty to save his life, but DON'T.

Ch. 18:

Okay, I did not give Brendon enough credit. I mean, I still suspect he doesn't know how MUCH he means to Hugh, but he's putting more even thought into this than I thought.

Paddy loves Hugh too. :( It shouldn't have been his job to learn to understand Hugh, but he has a bit anyway.

He's writing LETTERS to Hugh.

No one is entirely happy and everyone concerned here misses each other and it doesn't CHANGE anything

Oh, the mysterious sister is here?? She's here with her husband???

Auggggh the Snake is HERE.

UGGGGH the sleeper command to "obey Brendon" at the beginning of the book came from HIM? Of course it did. Lifelong expert in frightening children.

Hey. Hey Hugh. Thanks for stealing Paddy when he was a baby.

Ch. 19:

…Oh. Somehow I did NOT place that all the tragic Tenthragon deaths probably weren't accidents.

…Really should've picked up on that.

Oh GOLLY. (Quentin getting legal and financial guardianship over Hugh.)

Hugh telling the whole story in third person because he can't deal with actually TELLING Paddy.

I repeat: even if it wasn't Hugh's intention, the arrangement he put into place ended up being probably the best outcome possible for Paddy.

…I'm sorry, are you telling me that Hugh is STILL NOT A LEGAL ADULT. CURRENTLY.

I knew he was young, but…

That's what you DO miss when POV is filtered through a nine-year-old.

(Brendon might still be in his twenties himself, then. He probably is. OOF he has had WAY too much on his shoulders for WAY too long.)

(He IS in his twenties. He's I think twenty-five?? What an INCREDIBLY good adult he's been.)

Noooo, Brendon, Paddy DOES deserve to know. He's already in the middle of this, he should get to navigate it with some understanding of what he's seen.

Oh, all right, if Hugh didn't want it read then it's fine. Hopefully Paddy can wait a bit to understand his family fully.

Dread.

It ends THERE?

#and now i have to return it :/#it is very good! even if i'm still grappling with the ending #thank you for the recommendation Rebekah!#I look forward to being able to talk about it now

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gothicbookslover · 2 years ago

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This week's blog post: Under the weather by Stephen King. I particularly enjoyed this one and I think it is one of my favourite gothic short stories.

It starts with Brad waking up to a chewing sound coming under the bed. It turns out to be his dog Lady. Next to him is his wife Ellen sleeping, who is currently sick. He had had a nightmare of his wife dying on a plane and is relieved to have woken up. Brad takes Lady for a walk. When he leaves his apartment building he hears that exterminators are coming in the afternoon to check on a foul odor that's suspected to come from a dead rat in a neighboring apartment. After, he leaves his wife a note and goes to work. Brad works in an advertisement company. At work he recalls both good and bad times with his wife. He receives a call from the building superintendent saying that the door is coming from his apartment and hinting that Brad may have killed his wife. He leaves work and gets to his apartment only to open his door to Lady shewing Ellen’s limb. Brad takes it and tucks Ellen’s hand with her to bed. Brad asks Ellen a few questions and when she doesn’t answer he says that it’s fine, she can sleep a while longer.

More about Brad's dream: He and Ellen were just coming from vacation. They were on a plane and Ellen had fallen asleep. For a second Brad thought that Ellen was dead and panicked. Already when Ellen wasn’t sick Brad was scared that she would die. It was so bad that when Ellen actually died he could believe it and had to use his Imagination to cover it up.

How does Brad's work fit into the story? At first I was surprised how long the story talked about Brad's work, it didn’t seem to be connected to what was happening. But the more I read the more it made sense. In advertisements it’s very important you know how to use your imagination. A lot of times advertisements lie or even manipulate people into buying their product. Brad was very good at it. He even said to the new intern: “Use your imagination, it’s the key”. He imagined that Ellen was still alive and was able to continue to lie to himself. He was so persuasive he could make his dead wife seem alive to himself. He even convinced me! Brad seemed like a normal caring white collared worker. But he was very overprotective and had an obsession over his wife Ellen, who he couldn’t let go of.

Over the story the writer gives hints about the ending: Lady chewing something, the odour, nightmares… The title “Under the weather” suits very well as it means feeling sick. I don’t know if it was just me, but I didn’t suspect anything eerie. I just thought that Ellen was very sick and Brad took care of him. But I guess you can never trust anyone. Even the narrator.

How long had Ellen been dead? Well it’s certain that she had been dead the whole story. Theory: Maybe when Brad thought that Ellen was dead on the plane she actually died? I don’t really think that that happened, because then Brad would have had to carry Ellen out of the airport without anyone noticing.

This story was quite different from the other ones we had read so far. It didn’t have anything supernatural and the setting was quite normal. The gothic element I could recognise was dark romanticism, as Brad is in love with a corpse and keeps taking care of it. Their relationship has death, tragic and obsession. It in some way could also have guilt, maybe Brad felt guilty for his wife dying. It’s actually very common to take blame for someone you love if they die.

I really enjoyed this story. It had a very surprising end and was brilliantly thought thru. Even though it was quite disturbing, I found it very interesting and well written. Thank You for reading, see you next time!

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pop-punklouis · 4 years ago

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Honestly, I get really confused when Larries always say H hates being sexualized. If you look at it from an objective point of view, it is very clear that H and his team are using a "sex sells" marketing strategy. He's not uncomfortable being sexualized because that it literally part of their promo plan. Sex attracts attention. Hshq is using sex in their marketing to create an effective and memorable campaign and it's working. He literally advertised the album as being about being sad & sex. 1/2

“He did nude photoshoots. His music videos for lights up and WS obviously rely on the sex angle. If he built his whole image on sex appeal, then why blame harries for sexualizing him? They are doing exactly what hshq wants them to do. Them thirsting over him makes them keep streaming and giving him views. People are hardwired to notice sexually relevant information so it’s smart of his team to use that to their advantage to keep him relevant. Everyone else can see it except for larries. 2/2 + Harry never said he was uncomfortable being sexualized. He doesn’t care because it helps his career and he loves the attention. He said he was uncomfortable thinking about being seen as a sex symbol because it’s a weird thing to think about yourself but he didn't say anything about being sexualized. Anyway, actions speak louder than words, and his PR is all about catering to to people’s sexual fantasies so I think he's more than okay with it”

I’m choosing to answer this because there is.... a lot to unpack here. To start, i’m incredibly sick of seeing people pretending that “sexuality,” and “sex appeal” are the same thing as “sexualization” especially when it refers to hypersexualization. it’s not and it never has been. you can find someone attractive and have that person perform sexuality, at any level, and still not display sexualization of this person. it’s not a complicated concept. there are many facets of harry’s life that has been built to fit a lothario image that does drive off the hyper-sexualization of him as an image and a person, but it goes beyond just his team using it for fan? engagement? the media has perpetuated it as well since he was 16 years old (a child). past “girlfriends” have perpetuated it when their relationships end. talk show hosts like ellen and james corden would consistently push this angle regardless of whether or not they were friends. red carpet reporters have asked these questions directly to his face. past models who have worked with him in any capacity have helped this narrative along by moaning his name and sexualizing him. ben winston has no problem feeding into it. there’s branches that split from the whole that has fed into this goliath image that has been sexualized for ten years of his life.

and you think...... he’s comfortable with that? you think he likes that he can stand next to any woman and be plagued with stories about fucking them? you think he thrives off the fact that every part of who he is and what his body looks like is constantly on parade when tied to this image? you think he doesn’t care that much of the GP and those in the industry think he’s incredibly easy and will sleep with anyone and anything so long as he gives them a smile? you think he thought it was funny when he was visibly uncomfortable having howard stern ask if he wanted to fuck his therapist because she was a woman? you think he enjoys the fact that he has to watch out who he’s around or even nice to because so many have gone to papers or online and fabricated stories about sex or relationships for clout attached to his name? you think it makes him laugh when people talk about his sex life and publications like GQ pushed him to tell them how many people he’s slept with as a 19 yr old? you don’t think he cares that he’s lost a lot of his youth and control of his image due to sexualizing tycoons?

you also confuse me with the points you made about him playing into a hypersexualized image. you use examples that are so highly misconstrued it feels detached in every way. he didn’t do nude photo shoots. he did one photoshoot that featured a nude and the nude was not in any way put on display as an act of sexual fodder. it was sensual. it was fragile. it was soft. it was a piece of art and seeing as how you didn’t see it that way only falls more on you than it does anyone else. you can be nude and do that without inviting in ideas of sexualization. nothing about that photo screams sex appeal. regarding the music videos..... congratulations, you missed the entire point again. the Lights Up music video was meant to depict his experience with fame and sexualization. those pulling at him from all angles represents everyone wanting a piece of him as he just wants to exist. how his career and life since he was 16 was built off never being his own— he’s always been “on display” for everyone else. he not once touched any of the models, and he ended up riding away from it all at the end of the video finally free. even when talking to radio hosts about the video he touched on how personal that song was to him. yet the media and fans alike drew it differently and labeled it a sex orgy lmao. and with WS..... it’s the media that first drew the hyped up sexual energy tied to that song. the blatant headlines about oral sex which then hyped up fans. yes, they used the video to display oral sex but nothing about that video was sexualized in a way that would’ve been expected. the ones that have a right to be upset about the WS video are wlw because of how it could go about sexualizing the WOMEN not harry.

so again, stop pretending like sexuality and sex appeal is anything like sexualization. it isn’t, and just because something or someone portrays him in a “sexy” light doesn’t mean it’s okay or even appropriate to sexualize or objectify him based on that. olympic swimmers can be pictured as sexy because of the tight clothing, built bodies, and athleticism but that doesn’t green light sexualization of them. antoni porowski can show off his body and pose sensually (even sexually) and that doesn’t mean it gives you the okay to objectify him and his body. i theorize a big reason why harry is often seen in baggier clothes now, beyond his fashion sense, is because without showing any discernible part of his body, it stops those from sexualizing him on his off time. so, has HSHQ used his already laden image and sexuality to push further into this sexualization? yes. has fans been conditioned to think of him sexually because of this ingrained narrative? of course. but does that mean we’re all lab rats being fed what they want and we have no say or conscious decision in the matter? no.

many artists use sexuality and sex appeal in their art and images. men, women, non-binary folk etc., etc. but that doesn’t mean they love being sexualized or have no qualms about it. take for example, halsey. she’s never been shy or against showing her sexuality and sensuality in her work, music, and persona. does that make it okay to objectify and sexualize her just because she does that? of course not. do you hear how you sound when you say these things? it’s very concerning. i’m sick of people wanting justifications for sexualizing artists— especially harry. if this was a woman, this argument for or against sexualization wouldn’t even exist. but since it’s harry it’s okay? i’m so tired of it.

#harry styles #sexualization

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socially-awkward-skeleton · 2 years ago

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1,2,3,4,12, and 13 for Kit for the oc meta asks

Thanks so much for the questions <3

1. What inspired you to create your oc?

Far Cry 5 is such an interesting universe to play in, first and foremost. I love the setting and I love the villains and the idea of a religious cult as the enemy force. I really enjoy all the characters and I wanted to explore more of my own ideas of what it would be like in that universe so Kit was born.

2. why does your OC look the way they do? What are your reasons for their appearance?

I wanted Kit to be an imposing force, I wanted her to be strong and tough and to be able to take on all the challenges the game throws at you in a logical way. As the player you become basically an army of one and I wanted to have an OC that matches that. So she is quite an impressive force height wise (she is 5'9" if only just to not be completely overshadowed by Jacob who I HC as being 6'3"), she is incredibly fit and athletic having been in the military and taking her health very seriously. I gave her red/auburn hair because its fun picturing a red4red duo who are out there making each other so much worse. Not to mention I've been in love with Scully since I was 3 or 4 so red hair is a common feature of a few of my OCs. She is also heavily influenced by characters like Ellen Ripley (Aliens) and Sarah Connor (Terminator 2).

3. What is the origin of the character's name?

The name Kit is both a boy's name and a girl's name of English origin meaning "pure". Though her full first name is Kathleen which is of Irish origin and means "pure" as well.

4. Why did you give them the name they have? What's the in-universe reason for their name?

I wanted Kit to have a more gender neutral name, since she isn't exactly the most feminine. Kathleen may be her full first name but she really is not a fan of it, so she prefers to go by a shortened version. I also wanted a name that could easily be made into a nickname as Jacob is so fond of handing those out (looking at you "peaches") so Kit could very easily be morphed into kitten.

12. Which canon characters do the OC have good relationship with? Why those characters?

Kit gets along well with Sheriff Whitehorse, she has a great respect for him as he gave her a 2nd chance at a career where she could do some good after being unable to return to the army due to her injuries. Kit also gets along well with Joey Hudson, they are both tough ladies who have to fight for respect in a predominantly male workplace. Kit and Jess also get along well, both being fighters who prefer sneaking in quiet and getting the job done quickly and ruthlessly. Grace and Kit also have a great deal of respect for one another having both served in Afghanistan. Kit also has a soft spot for Nick and Kim Rye, having been made the godmother to their child she holds them near and dear. Jacob Seed, this is very much an enemies to lovers situation. She starts out being held hostage and made to undergo the trials, as he digs his claws in and switches are flipped in her brain Kit's darker parts of her personality start to rear their ugly heads and she begins to obsess over him as much as he is over her.

13 which canon characters do the OC have bad relationships with? Why those characters?

Joseph Seed, she thinks he's insane, doesn't believe that he's hearing the word of God and as soon as he told her the story about killing his own child she lost any sympathy for him. John Seed, after torturing Joey and marking Kit with "Wrath" she has it out for him. She doesn't find him terribly frightening and thinks of him more of a thorn in her side. She doesn't kill him however and sends him packing back to Joseph, as bruising his ego will do more to stop him and break him. Adelaide and Hurk Drubman also tend to rub Kit the wrong way, they don't take things seriously enough for her liking, while the relationships aren't "bad" per say they do tend to be a last resort for her in most cases if Kit does need the help.

#meta oc asks #thanks for asking!#kit cross #fc5 oc

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calzona-ga · 3 years ago

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In her unauthorized book, Lynette Rice explores the stories behind some of the ABC drama's biggest moments, including — in this exclusive excerpt — the factors that led to McDreamy's shocking death.

In How to Save a Life: The Inside Story of Grey’s Anatomy, author Lynette Rice recounts the ABC medical drama’s eventful 16-year history, revealing new details behind some of the show’s biggest departures. Included in the unauthorized, 320-page oral history (St. Martin’s Press, Sept. 21, $29.99) is a chapter that offers new insight into leading man Patrick Dempsey’s shocking exit in season 11 of the Shonda Rhimes-created drama. In the chapter, Rice speaks with Dempsey’s co-stars and exec producers who were present during filming of his final days on Grey’s Anatomy, and reveals claims of “HR issues” that contributed to the death of his alter-ego, Derek “McDreamy” Shepherd.

“There were HR issues. It wasn’t sexual in any way. He sort of was terrorizing the set. Some cast members had all sorts of PTSD with him,” recalls exec producer James D. Parriott, who was brought back to the series to oversee Dempsey’s exit.

In more than 80 interviews with current and former cast- and crewmembers, Rice, an editor-at-large at Entertainment Weekly, also explores the show’s early days, recounts the thinking behind some of its more polarizing storylines and offers exclusive details about the show’s behind-the-scenes culture.

“After 17 seasons, fans still can’t get enough of Grey’s Anatomy,” Rice tells THR. But what went down behind the scenes was just as dramatic as what viewers saw every Thursday. I’m excited for fans to read what I learned about those early days, along with what it was like to work for Shonda Rhimes, and why the drama was so freakin’ headline-prone.”

Below, The Hollywood Reporter shares an excerpt — the full eighth chapter — from How to Save a Life, and tune in Friday to TV’s Top 5 for an interview with Rice about her book and the other big reveals she uncovered in her reporting for it.

(Reps for ABC, ABC Signature, Shondaland, and Dempsey declined comment on the reveals in Rice’s book.)

“He’s Very Dreamy, but He’s Not the Sun,” Or, How Grey’s Anatomy Loved — Then Learned to Live Without — Patrick Dempsey Ellen Pompeo may have played the titular role, but for many fans over many years, Patrick Dempsey was the real draw to Grey’s Anatomy. Some of it had to do with his celebrity: Dempsey was the most famous member of the original cast at the time of the pilot and brought with him quite a cult following from his 1987 movie Can’t Buy Me Love. But a lot of it was due to the way Rhimes wrote her McDreamy and how Dempsey depicted him. James D. Parriott I would say, “The guy would never say that,” and Shonda would say, “He’s McDreamy. He’s the perfect man. He would say that.” I’d say, “Okay. It’s your show.” Eric Buchman Shonda had a very clear idea of how important it was to keep Derek as this almost idealized love interest, not just for Meredith but for the audience. Naturally, the writers—especially writers who had been working on one-hour dramas for a while—were like, “Well, maybe have McDreamy make a big mistake in surgery and kill somebody. Or he develops an addiction of some kind. What is his deep, dark secret?” Shonda was very insistent: that’s not the character we do that with. Even when you find out he’s married, that was done in a very sympathetic way that kept him being a hero. He was wronged by his spouse and in spite of it all he was still gonna give his marriage a second chance. Stacy McKee Shonda was protective of McDreamy, but it was really with an eye toward being protective of Meredith. I don’t think the two were separate from one another. I don’t think she wanted to put something out there that maybe on the surface might seem a little frivolous. At its core, there was something really substantial that she wanted to say. She wanted to be very specific about the type of relationship values that she put out there. Tony Phelan I was in editing with Shonda once, and it was the scene where Meredith and Derek had broken up. He comes over and she’s like, “I can’t remember the last time we kissed.” And he says, “I remember. You were wearing this and you smelled of this …”

Joan Rater “Your shampoo smelled like flowers, you had that sweater on …” He described their last kiss. Tony Phelan Typically in editing you start on Derek, then you cut to Meredith for a reaction, and then you’ll go back to him. I noticed that we weren’t ever cutting back to Meredith. I asked why. Shonda said, “Because the woman in Iowa who’s watching this show wants to believe that Patrick is talking to her, and if you cut back to Meredith, it pushes them out of it.” In those special moments, we would just lock into Derek and let him do his thing. Joan Rater And he was a master at it. Patrick Dempsey He’s the ideal man, and that’s what Shonda constructed. There’s a projection [of him] onto me when you come in contact with fans, certainly with the younger and older fans. There is a certain amount of expectation. There is a responsibility to it. It made me grow, too. There were good qualities [of his] that you work on to obtain. Off camera, Dempsey was equally as charismatic to his fellow actors, crew members, and anyone who would come to visit the set. Lauren Stamile I was going in to meet him, and I remember I had this little cardigan sweater on and I took it off before I got into the room. Dempsey is one of those people—it’s almost like there’s a light shining around his body, and you feel like you’re the only person in the room. I got so hot and I remember saying, “Gosh, I would take off my sweater if I had one on because I’m so hot, but I took it off.” I was just babbling. He said, “You look nice,” and I said, “You look nicer.” I felt so awkward and he was so gracious and lovely. I was having a nervous breakdown. It’s like this “it” factor. I was like, God, whatever he has, I wish I had. I think it was very obvious how nervous I was, and he went out of his way to make sure he introduced me to everybody and made sure I felt comfortable, which he certainly didn’t have to do. But he did. Joan Rater He knew I had a giant crush on him, and he loved it. And when we’d go to table reads—I was an actress at one point in my life—they would always give me Meredith if Ellen wasn’t there. And I’d be getting my chicken tenders at craft services before the table read and he’d come up behind me and say, “Are you reading Meredith?” in my ear, like, so sexy. I’d be like, Oh my God. I mean, I could barely … I could not look at him. Tina Majorino I worked with Patrick a ton. I love him so much. We had a really great time working together. I think he’s such a great actor and he really made me laugh a lot. I feel like we had a good dynamic in scenes together, and it was always fun to play opposite him. Yes, he’s that charismatic in real life. Yes, his hair is that awesome. Yes, he is dreamy up close.

Chandra Wilson Patrick Dempsey will forever be known as Grey’s Anatomy’s McDreamy. Derek Shepherd is a permanent part of television history.

Norman Leavitt He is a big, personable guy.

Jeannine Renshaw We all love Patrick. Patrick is a sweetheart. If I saw him on the street, I’d give him a hug. I love the guy.

Mark Wilding I’ve always had a soft spot for Patrick. He really does try to do the right thing. Brooke Smith, who played Dr. Erica Hahn, remembers how Dempsey defended her when the decision was made to fire her from the show in 2008. Brooke Smith I remember calling him and saying, “Oh my God, they said they can’t write for me anymore, so I guess I’m leaving.” And he was like, “What are you talking about? You’re the only one they’re writing for.” Which at that time, it kind of did feel that way. But I guess someone didn’t like that. They gave me a statement [to release, about her departure] and I never said it. Patrick said that he actually took it out of his jacket on The Ellen DeGeneres Show and read the statement. He won’t let me forget it. He was like, “I defended you, see?” And it was true.

By season eleven, however, fans saw a disturbing break in MerDer’s once unbreakable bond. Six episodes had gone by without a peep from Derek, who was supposedly in Washington, D.C., where he had apparently made out with a research fellow. Fans began threatening to bolt if their hero didn’t return soon to Seattle. “I have never missed one episode,” wrote a fan on Dempsey’s Facebook page. “But I swear if [Rhimes] kills you off I’m done.” But there was a critical reason for Derek’s strange absence: behind the scenes, there was talk of Dempsey’s diva-like fits and tension between him and Pompeo. To help manage the explosive situation, executive producer James D. Parriott was brought back in to serve as a veritable Dempsey whisperer.

Patrick Dempsey [That] was the first year that I haven’t been in every episode. I [was] in every episode since the pilot— close to 250 episodes. That [was a] huge run. James D. Parriott Shonda needed an OG to come in as sort of a showrunner for fourteen episodes. There were HR issues. It wasn’t sexual in any way. He sort of was terrorizing the set. Some cast members had all sorts of PTSD with him. He had this hold on the set where he knew he could stop production and scare people. The network and studio came down and we had sessions with them. I think he was just done with the show. He didn’t like the inconvenience of coming in every day and working. He and Shonda were at each other’s throats.

Jeannine Renshaw There were times where Ellen was frustrated with Patrick and she would get angry that he wasn’t working as much. She was very big on having things be fair. She just didn’t like that Patrick would complain that “I’m here too late” or “I’ve been here too long” when she had twice as many scenes in the episode as he did. When I brought it up to Patrick, I would say, “Look around you. These people have been here since six thirty a.m.” He would go, “Oh, yeah.” He would get it. It’s just that actors tend to see things from their own perspective. He’s like a kid. He’s so high energy and would go, “What’s happening next?” He literally goes out of his skin, sitting and waiting. He wants to be out driving his race car or doing something fun. He’s the kid in class who wants to go to recess.

Patrick Dempsey It’s ten months, fifteen hours a day. You never know your schedule, so your kid asks you, “What are you doing on Monday?” And you go, “I don’t know,” because I don’t know my schedule. Doing that for eleven years is challenging. But you have to be grateful, because you’re well compensated, so you can’t really complain because you don’t really have a right. You don’t have control over your schedule. So, you have to just be flexible.

Longtime Crew Member Poor Patrick. I’m not defending his schtick. I like him, but he was the Lone Ranger. All of these actresses were getting all this power. All the rogue actresses would go running to Shonda and say, “Hey, Patrick’s doing this. Patrick’s late for work. He’s a nightmare.” He was just shut out in the cold. His behavior wasn’t the greatest, but he had nowhere to go. He was so miserable. He had no one to talk to. When Sandra left, I remember him telling me, “I should’ve left then, but I stayed on because they showed me all this money. They just were dumping money on me.”

Patrick Dempsey It [was] hard to say no to that kind of money. How do you say no to that? It’s remarkable to be a working actor, and then on top of that to be on a show that’s visible. And then on top of that to be on a phenomenal show that’s known around the world, and play a character who is beloved around the world. It’s very heady. It [was] a lot to process, and not wanting to let that go, because you never know whether you will work again and have success again.

Jeannine Renshaw A lot of the complaining … I think Shonda finally witnessed it herself, and that was the final straw. Shonda had to say to the network, “If he doesn’t go, I go.” Nobody wanted him to leave, because he was the show. Him and Ellen. Patrick is a sweetheart. It messes you up, this business.

James D. Parriott I vaguely recall something like that, but I can’t be sure. It would have happened right toward the end, because I know they were negotiating and negotiating, trying to figure out what to do. We had three different scenarios that we actually had to break because we didn’t know until I think about three days before he came back to set which one we were going to go with. We didn’t know if he was going to be able to negotiate his way out of it. We had a whole story line where we were going to keep him in Washington, D.C., so we could separate him from the rest of the show. He would not have to work with Ellen again. Then we had the one where he comes back, doesn’t die, and we figure out what Derek’s relationship with Meredith would be. Then there was the one we did. It was kind of crazy. We didn’t know if he was going to be able to negotiate his way out of it. It was ultimately decided that just bringing him back was going to be too hard on the other actors. The studio just said it was going to be more trouble than it was worth and decided to move on.

Stacy McKee I don’t think there was any way to exit him without him dying. He and Meredith were such an incredibly bonded couple at that point. It would be completely out of character if he left his kids. There was no exit that would honor that character other than if he were to die. Patrick Dempsey I don’t remember the date [I got the news]. It was not in the fall. Maybe February or March. It was just a natural progression. And the way everything was unfolding in a very organic way, it was like, “Okay! This is obviously the right time.” Things happened very quickly. We were like, “Oh, this is where it’s going to go.”

So that was that: McDreamy would die in episode twenty-one of season eleven, even though Dempsey was in year one of his recently signed two-year contract extension. Rhimes wrote a script that was befitting of her lead’s heroic persona: she began “How to Save a Life” by having Derek witness a car crash and helping the injured. Once it appeared everyone was out of harm’s way, Derek continues on his road trip but is suddenly broadsided by a truck.

Rob Hardy (Director) The paramedics leave. He’s there by himself. He’s having a moment. The nice music is playing, and all of a sudden, bang. It comes out of nowhere, which, you know, is how accidents happen. So as opposed to watching it as a viewer, we saw the accident happen through Derek’s perspective. Derek ends up at Dillard Medical Center, a hospital far from Grey Sloan and the talented doctors who work there. His eyes are open, but his brain is severely damaged. No one hears his plea for a CT scan; he can’t speak. To help keep the episode a secret, the scenes were shot in an abandoned hospital in Hawthorne, California, about twenty-two miles from the show’s home studio in Los Feliz.

Mimi Melgaard It was really hard on all of us because it was so secretive and we had so many different locations. We shot at this closed-down hospital that was absolutely creepy haunted. All the scenes there were so sad anyway, and in this yucky-feeling haunted hospital? It was really weird. His whole last episode was really tough. Patrick Dempsey It was like any other day. It was just another workday. There was still too much going on. You’re in the midst of it—you’re not really processing it. Rob Hardy Here’s a guy who’s immobile. Now you’re inside of his head. We were trying to make that feel scary from the perspective of a person who’s used to being in control, from a person who usually has the power of life and death in his own hands. But now he doesn’t have the ability to speak on his own behalf.

Samantha Sloyan When I went to audition, I didn’t recognize any of these doctors’ names. I assumed they were just dummy sides so people wouldn’t ruin the story line or anything like that. All we knew is that we were dealing with a man who’s been in a car accident. I had no idea that it was going to be Derek. I just figured I was going to be a guest doctor and that whoever this person was who was injured, was going to be just a character on the show. Once it became clear what we were working on, I was like, Oh, my gosh. I can’t believe this is the episode I’m on.

Mike McColl (Dr. Paul Castello) I signed an NDA before they would release the script to me. I was reading it in my house, and I was like, “Oh, my God.” I didn’t tell anyone, including my agents. I just said, “This is a really great booking. It’s a great role on Grey’s.” And they didn’t know anything until it aired.

Savannah Paige Rae (Winnie) The first scene I shot was actually the sentimental scene when I’m saying, “It’s a beautiful day to save lives, right?” I’m in the hospital room with Derek and talking to him. Even though I never watched the show, I recognized the value of the episode I was in and just really took it to heart. It was so special that I got to be a part of it.

Rob Hardy [Patrick] had a lot of emotions during the whole shoot, which evolved. I think when we first started, he was very calm and cool … the same Patrick that I remembered when I worked on the show a year or so before. With each passing day, he was a lot more emotional. A lot more was on his mind, and that would show itself in different ways. The finality of the episode and for his character was setting in. You’ve become a global icon on this show and then in five, four, three, two, a day … it’s over.

James D. Parriott Patrick was very cooperative and good.

Mike McColl When I met Patrick, he’s lying on a stretcher and we’re rushing him into the ER. I just introduced myself, shook his hand, and was like, “Man, I cannot tell you what an honor it is to be the guy to take you down.” He loved it. He could not have been nicer to me and was funny through the whole shoot. He was on the table in front of me there when I cut his chest open and all that stuff. He gave me a hug at the end. It was a real privilege to be a part of TV history in that way.

Samantha Sloyan I remember him being incredibly kind. They had his neck in a brace, and he’s strapped down to the board, so there wasn’t a ton of chatting. I remember him being really kind, but it was clearly intense for him.

Stacy McKee It was such a beautiful piece of storytelling. I knew this event was going to be a really sad, horrible event for Meredith, but I also knew it was going to be the beginning of such an incredible chapter for Meredith.

Dempsey completed his final hours of shooting on a rainy night. There was no goodbye party, no goodbye cake. Maybe that’s because some cast members were left out of the loop. James Pickens, Jr., told ABC News that the cast “didn’t know a whole lot. It was kind of on the fly. So whatever information we got, we pretty much got it kind of right before it happened.”

Caterina Scorsone (Dr. Amelia Shepherd) I didn’t get to say goodbye to Patrick when he left. I do think that helped, because I’ve been using the character of Derek in my internal landscape since Private Practice. Derek was the stability in Amelia’s life. He became a father figure after they watched robbers shoot their father. When he was suddenly gone from the show, we didn’t have that closure, so I got to play it out. She’s about to use drugs again before Owen confronts her in a way that she finally talks about her feelings about losing Derek. She doesn’t end up using.

James D. Parriott The day he left, that was my last day. There was a certain sadness to it, but I think he was relieved. I mean, I think it took a toll on him, too.

Rob Hardy I didn’t see other actors showing up and saying, “Hey, it’s the last day! Wanted to come and wish you well.” I didn’t get that. It was more the Patrick show. We were in the Patrick world, and then Ellen came, and there was definitely a lot of emotion that both of them had individually … not necessarily together. It was more so her being there on the day that he died. He had his own way of being with that, and the same thing with her. It was like two people who grew up together and … here we are. They had their own way of reflecting.

Patrick Dempsey I very quietly left. It was beautiful. It was raining, which was really touching. I got in my Panamera, got in rush-hour traffic, and two hours later I was home. Big news like this doesn’t stay quiet for long. Both Michael Ausiello—who left EW in 2010 to launch the news site TVLine—and Lesley Goldberg of The Hollywood Reporter learned two weeks prior to Dempsey’s final episode that he would be leaving the show. No reporter worth their salt wants to sit on a scoop—least of all one as huge as this—but Ausiello and Goldberg didn’t want to spoil the outcome for fans, so they agreed to hold the story until after the episode aired. I eventually found out, too, but in the nuttiest way imaginable: I was standing on the set of CSI: Cyber, watching Patricia Arquette talk about some droll techno-criminal. Unfortunately, the publicist also cc’d Dempsey’s manager and ABC publicist while trying to give me a major story, so I couldn’t immediately report the scoop. But I did use the information to successfully negotiate the one and only exit interview with Dempsey. Two weeks before his final episode, I met him and his publicist at Feed Body & Soul in Venice, California, for a story that would hit newsstands on April 24. He seemed a little shell-shocked and at one point choked up, but at the time he said nothing about how his on-set behavior may have contributed to his ouster. My editor, Henry Goldblatt, wanted to put him on the cover of Entertainment Weekly, but he couldn’t guarantee to ABC that no one would see it before the episode aired. Good thing we didn’t: some subscribers got the issue on the morning of Dempsey’s final episode— and one actually tweeted the story. Our PR department tried to get the tweets removed, but the cat was out of the bag: some fans found out early that McDreamy was about to be McHistory. Outlets like Variety reported how the story got out early, while our PR department released this statement: “We are surprised that an EW subscriber may have received their issue a day earlier than planned. We always try our best to bring readers exclusive news first. We would like to apologize to fans of the show that learned the news ahead of time.” Dempsey’s final episode was watched by 8.83 million viewers—the show’s largest audience since the premiere that season. Variety even pontificated whether the ratings boost was due to my exclusive with Dempsey.

Lesley Goldberg (The Hollywood Reporter) I’m used to working with networks to hold news as part of their efforts to guard against plot spoilers. But the way Patrick Dempsey’s exit was handled involved a layer of paranoia and secrecy that has been unlike anything I’ve seen in my reporting career. News that he was leaving, and his character being killed off, would have been a major story considering how big the show is domestically and internationally. However, it also would have meant spoiling the episode and, more important, damaging key relationships I’ve worked hard to build. At some point, publishing the news of Dempsey’s exit before the episode aired became an ethical question of what was more important—a big story and its subsequent traffic, which would have come no matter what, or the relationships and trust that it took years to craft. Ultimately, I still published early because EW subscribers received the issue with Lynette’s Dempsey interview before the episode aired.

Mike McColl The morning after Derek’s last episode aired, my daughter sent me a link that was on YouTube or Facebook or something. I actually pulled it up to look at it, and it was a Grey’s Anatomy showbiz cheat sheet. It asked the question “Who is the attending doctor who killed Derek ‘McDreamy’ Shepherd?” It included a photo that I posted from the set. I had on a bloody rubber glove and was in my scrubs and mask. I never obviously would have posted this before it aired. I posted it well after the episode aired, and I [captioned it] “McDeadly.” This writer said something like, “Kill McDeadly.” Maybe that’s why the producer didn’t choose a big-name actor to be the one who killed our beloved McDreamy! I want to be ultrasensitive to these hard-core fans because it means so much to them, and I certainly didn’t mean in that case to make light of it. It’s just, I’m an actor, and I recognize it for what it is. Is everybody clear on the fact that this is just pretend and Patrick knew he was going to be leaving the show? It was just like, “God. He’s okay. He really is okay.”

Peter Horton Derek was going to be there forever with Meredith because you went through a whole journey with them. That was incredibly fulfilling. So even if he’s not there, he’s there. I don’t think any of us really worried about that going away because by then you were so invested in it. The show can last as it has for years.

Patrick Dempsey Lots of people [miss him]. “It’s good to see you alive” is the comment I get. I’m like, “Yes, I’m very much alive in reruns.” People were really invested in that relationship. I knew it would be heavy. Very happy to have moved on with a different chapter in my life.

Samantha Sloyan The montage just killed me, when Meredith says, “It’s okay, you can go.” God, I’m getting choked up just thinking about it. The chemistry they have as a pair and the way they were able to build that and sustain it! So many of these relationships are, like, “Will they, won’t they,” and then it wears thin. They sustained it for the duration of their relationship on the show, and it’s just, I think, a testament to what those two created. It was just unbelievable.

Pompeo addressed Dempsey’s departure with a tweet that focused solely on his character, not on how she spent eleven years working side by side with him: “There are so many people out there who have suffered tremendous loss and tragedy. Husbands and wives of soldiers, victims of senseless violence, and parents who have lost children. People who get up every day and do what feels like is the impossible. So it is for these people and in the spirit of resilance [sic] I am honored and excited to tell the story of how Meredith goes on in the face of what feels like the impossible.” Meanwhile, fans futilely created a Change.org petition to reinstate McDempsey, while other, more desperate ones simply tweeted “We Hate You” to Rhimes.

Shonda Rhimes Derek Shepherd is and will always be an incredibly important character—for Meredith, for me, and for the fans. I absolutely never imagined saying goodbye to our McDreamy. Patrick Dempsey’s performance shaped Derek in a way that I know we both hope became a meaningful example— happy, sad, romantic, painful, and always true—of what young women should demand from modern love. His loss will be felt by all.

Talk about the mother (father?) of all postscripts: In November of 2020 Dempsey reprised his role as McDreamy in the season opener—but only in Meredith’s dreams. Stricken with COVID-19, an unconscious Meredith “imagined” reuniting with her husband on the beach. After talking exclusively to Deadline and saying how it was “really a very healing process, and really rewarding,” Dempsey would return for more beach-based episodes that would ultimately stand out as the best moments of season seventeen. “It was a second chance thing,” one ABC executive told me at the time. “Shonda likes a comeback. Also, they wanted him in their last season.”

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archivistsammy · 3 years ago

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i don’t really know what the vibe is for season 11, if folks like it or don’t, or even really what people think about amara and her relationship with dean. but we’re in season 11 right now, and having a GREAT TIME, and i had some thoughts about amara i want to get out while they’re fresh.

i think it’s easiest to make sense of dean and amara through the pov of a romantic and/or sexual relationship. her cleavage is always out for a good time, and they do share a solid kiss. but honestly, i think it is super duper limiting to only see their relationship this way, and the more i think about it, the more i think their relationship isn’t really meant to be read this way at all, or CERTAINLY not to the extent i previously thought.

dean does not have a chance to interact with many women in this show like he does with amara. his mess of emotions towards her are complex and contradictory. he's scared of her, he's attracted to her, he is confused by her. she can't be categorized like most of the other women he’s met. she's outside of his usual understanding of women and how to relate to them.

and i actually think it's interesting to think about what a man as constructed around traditional masculinity as dean must think and feel when faced with someone so outside of his usual gender boxes. when we think about other women on the show that dean’s met, they can usually be neatly categorized into family figures (charlie, missouri, donna, jody, ellen, sort of jo) or romantic figures (pamela, anna, lisa, cassie, bela, also sort of jo).

but where do you put god's sister? where do you put the oldest thing in existence, who is really only loosely a “woman” and who you sort of frankly imprint on—jacob and renesme style—as an infant. and that’s the main reason i think it’s a mistake to assume their connection is sexual or romantic. or strictly sexual or romantic. there’s clearly a paternal element to how dean feels about amara as well.

dean felt an interest and investment in the welfare of amara as a baby, before he even knew what she was. and he was enthralled with her when she was younger, too. but that investment, that enthrallment, was not sexual. it wasn’t desire defined by physical intimacy, it was attraction of a more, idk, clinical sort? and i think in general, dean is attracted in a way he can't name bc amara can’t be fit into one of those categories i talked about earlier.

and i think amara is honestly in a similar boat. she doesn’t understand humanity, she doesn’t understand the world god’s built, and she definitely doesn’t understand dean. but she knows they’re connected, that they share a mutual concern for the other, and she doesn’t really question it until mid-way through the season in the episode where the angels attempt to smite her. she goes to eat dean’s soul so he’ll live on as a part of her forever, but is surprised to find herself unable to follow through. she kisses him, imo, to reroute her initial desire to consume him. i don’t think that means the kiss has to be romantic or sexual, i think it’s just a physical expression of an unnameable affection and attraction that she doesn’t know what to do with.

i think people really limit what makes them interesting if they assume this is just a het dynamic for dean. bc the more i think about it, the more really and truly just do not believe that it is.

#supernatural #dean x amara #dean winchester #amara #s11 #our meta

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adamwatchesmovies · 2 years ago

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Wedding Crashers (2005)

Wedding Crashers shouldn’t work, particularly all these years later when society’s attitudes have changed so much… but it does. This is a problematic film for many reasons but when a comedy makes you laugh hard, all those issues don't seem nearly as important.

John Beckwith (Owen Wilson) and Jeremy Grey (Vince Vaughn) have a hobby: “crashing” wedding parties. Passing themselves off as distant relatives, they go in, make the grandparents laugh, entertain the kids with balloon animals, deliver heartwarming toasts and wind up in bed with a new woman every time. When John falls for Claire (Rachel McAdams), he insists he and his bud accept her father’s invitation to visit for the weekend. Jeremy accepts but this means confronting Claire’s obsessive sister Gloria (Isla Fisher).

Our protagonists are a couple of bros who go to weddings and lie to women to get into their beds but there’s more to them than this shallow exterior. If all John and Jeremy wanted was sex, there would be easier ways to go about it. At their core, these friends love to party and excel at it. Although they are intruders, they make themselves fit in and people are glad to have them on their big day. Clearly, John and Claire have a connection. Too bad she’s already got a boyfriend (Bradley Cooper as Sack). Even if she didn’t, how is he going to get out of all those stories he’s fed her earlier? As for Jeremy, he’s bitten off more than he can chew with Gloria. If you're hung on the idea of them being creeps, consider that this film is all about them getting their comeuppance, growing up and seeing the error of their ways.

Wedding Crashers has all the elements of the R-Rated comedy genre it helped spring back to life. The jerk boyfriend whose relationship with the love interest seems impossible but is necessary for the plot to happen, for example. There’s more to a movie than whether or not it reinvents the wheel. In a comedy, the most important thing is how funny it is, and this film is full of laughs. Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn play off each other so well you swear they’ve been doing it for years. When this adventure begins to drive a wedge between them, you care. Isla Fisher is equally funny, in a no-holds-barred-she’d-be-scary-if-she-weren’t-so-hot kinda way. She and Vaughn have many great moments together, as do Rachel McAdams and Wilson. The chemistry between our romantic leads is there (demented as it may be sometimes), which ensures a coating of sweetness above the many raunchy moments.

That said, several scenes have not aged well. In fact, even the premise hasn't held up. The predatory gay stereotype played by Keir O'Donnell is deeply uncomfortable. At one point, Jeremy is raped by the woman he will eventually fall in love with, which is a pretty big "yikes!". Even with all of the scenes proving John and Jeremy love weddings... you would never see this film made today, for good reason. In a way, the memorable scenes give this great re-watch value or maybe this is the kind of film that's best left in the past.

I admire Wedding Crashers for going all the way with its characters (check out Claire's foul-mouthed grandma, played by Ellen Albertini Dow) and for successfully juggling its different tones. Maybe Wedding Crashers is the kind of movie you secretly like. Don't worry, I won't tell anyone. (On DVD, November 26, 2017)

#Wedding Crashers #movies #films #movie reviews #film reviews #David Dobkin #Steve Faber #bob Fisher #Owen Wilson #Vince Vaughn #Christopher Walken #Rachel McAdams #isla Fisher #Jane Seymour #2005 movies #2005 films #comedies

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liron-ao3 · 3 years ago

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It's not that Dean doesn't like Castiel. It is more of an I-swear-on-my-mother's-grave-I'll-kill-him kinda relationship. Because the thing is, Castiel set up Dean's little brother Sam and his stepsister Rowena and it isn't that Dean could say it out loud, but he is worried. To say the least.

Rowena has a power over Sam that makes Dean's stomach flip. She conjures sappy smiles on Sam's face and makes him follow her like a love-drunk puppy. She's a witch, Dean is convinced, but he tries hard not to mention that in Sammy's orbit. He heard the whole that's-a-misogynistic-term speech when Sam was dating that Ruby chick and Dean knows that his brother would only cling closer to the Scot if he knew that Dean thinks that his fiancée is straight from hell.

So Dean grits his teeth, swallows his tongue, and plays nice around her, even going as far as agreeing to be his brother's best man. He will still be there when Sam comes running with his heart broken and with his tail between his legs.

Castiel, on the other hand? That man he can hate in abundance. Not that he has ever met him, but honestly, he has to be Lucifer himself if he thinks their siblings to be a good match.

Dean can picture him vividly—a leer on his face, sweet-talking people into feeling safe and then smiting them with the snap of his fingers. That man has to be evil incarnate and Dean won't pussyfoot around him. No way!

***

"Play nice," Bobby grumbles when they enter the venue for the rehearsal dinner.

"I am nice," Dean hisses back.

"Sure you are," his surrogate father says and makes a beeline for Ellen and Jo on the other side of the room.

Dean shoves his hands into the pockets of his jeans and scans the room for the man he is sure he will recognise immediately. But no one really sticks out from the crowd that is well-dressed and mostly speaking in different kinds of British accents. Family of the bride, obviously.

Dean feels a little underdressed until he spots a man in an ill-fitting suit, draped into a trenchcoat. He is standing next to a redheaded, slim woman, who Dean would probably try to get on the backseat of his Impala if he wasn't set on finding that Castiel guy, sweet talk him today and wreck him tomorrow. Unless Sam does the wise thing and cancels the wedding, which seems less and less likely by the minute. Rowena's spell seems to become stronger day by day. Dean hardly recognises his ever-worrying, self-loathing brother anymore, with all the grinning that goes on on his face.

Maybe Dean is an asshole, but he has pulled Sam from the edge too many times to count. This is too good to be true. Happiness doesn't find a Winchester. Not in his experience.

Dean walks to the other side from where the redhead smiled over to him. Maybe she can point him to the object of his hate. She tilts her head to the side when he comes closer.

"You must be Dean," she says, stretching out her hand. Dean is taken aback by her knowledge.

"How did you…?"

She shrugs. "I know nearly everyone in this room. And the only two men Sam ever mentioned were his brother and Bobby who I assume is the fella over there."

Dean looks in the direction she is nodding to. "Yeah. Sam always had more female friends."

"I think that's what Rowena likes about him. He's sensible."

Dean huffs. "Yeah, I bet she likes that he's soft for her."

"He makes her very happy," the man says and his voice does things to Dean's insides he doesn't want to nurse right now. He needs to focus on his anger. Arousal isn't helpful.

"If you say so," Dean grunts.

Anna furrows her brow. "Are you okay, Dean?" she asks concerned.

"Yeah, just not really convinced about this whole wedding business. Don't you think it's too fast?"

The man tilts his head to the side and Dean starts seeing the family resemblance. "I think that they complement each other very well. I would have expected Sam's best man to see that, too."

Dean can't really argue with that. "I don't know her well enough to judge. I just know that my brother is a different person now."

"And you don't like that?" the woman asks. Hell, Dean doesn't even know their names and spills all the beans, probably making an ass of himself.

"He's my brother. I know him better than anyone and this—" He gestures in the engaged couple's direction. "This isn't the man I raised."

Two pairs of eyes move to the tall men and back to Dean.

"You mean a happy man?" the woman asks.

"No. I mean…" Dean should have kept his mouth shut. They don't know Sam, his dark thoughts, the forced smiles, the brave face. Dean knows it all or at least well enough to know that the chuckling man on the other side of the room is a stranger to him. Okay, maybe Dean is a bit overdramatic. He knows Sam laughing, pulling pranks. But life had been shitty to both of them and the only people they could always rely on were the two of them.

Yes, their circles have widened over time, with Jody and the girls, Charlie and Dorothy. Still, happiness isn't really part of their lives. They might get glimpses of it, but…

"You mean what? That our sister isn't good enough for your big shot lawyer brother?" the man asks.

Dean freezes. He sometimes forgets that Sam isn't little Sammy anymore. That he's one step away from leaving his old life behind, and with it his big brother, probably.

Dean scans the people in the room, mainly the bride's family and he swallows hard. Yes, he's the odd one out. He only owns a single suit, so he couldn't wear it tonight. Is it that? Is he jealous? Or anxious to lose Sam?

He looks back at the bride and groom. Sam presses a kiss into Rowena's hair. From afar, they are a cute couple with the difference in height and the unconventional age gap.

Dean bites the inside of his cheek and tries to unclench his fists. It isn't working.

"She's way out of his league," he hears himself say, not knowing where this is even coming from.

"That's what you said, Anna, the first time you met Sam," the man chuckles.

Anna? Oh, that's the future sister-in-law Sam raved about and Dean thinks he wants to set him up with. Well, that probably flew out of the window a minute ago.

"I didn't, Castiel. I said I was surprised that she went for someone younger. That's all."

Dean's eyes shoot up. That's the man? The man, who he built up as the bogeyman who would get familiar with his fist? A fucking baby in a trenchcoat?

The whole house of cards that Dean has built up over weeks is threatening to collapse. Dean's throat tightens and he pops a button on his polo shirt, but to no avail. He meets Castiel's eyes for a moment, the other man squinting at him as if he could look deep into his soul.

"Are you okay, Dean?" he asks and sounds concerned.

"Yeah. Just need some air," Dean all but spits and heads for the door.

He props himself up on the roof terrace's balustrade and tries to sort through all his contradicting feelings. He hates it. It's all him. His fear to be left behind, for the only constant in his life to leave, like everybody else who has ever meant something to him. He's jealous and the realisation hits him hard.

Yes, he doesn't know Rowena, but Sam does. Well enough to want to marry her. Sam, who thought he was too toxic for a real relationship. Dean always told him that this was bullshit. And now that his little brother is finally listening, Dean acts like a jaundiced ex? Fuck!

"There you are," a too-familiar voice comes from behind. "I thought you left me hanging, man."

Dean chuckles. "I have to lead the bride to the altar, right?" He ruffles Sam's hair. His brother glares at him, but without heat.

"Wanna come in? I'd like to introduce you to Rowena's best man."

"Who's that?"

"Castiel."

Dean's eyes sink to the floor. Of course, he is. "Already met him."

Sam raises an eyebrow. "Don't tell me you already snubbed him."

"Nah. I wouldn't embarrass you in front of your new family." It's enough that Dean embarrassed himself.

"Most of them are kind people," Sam says carefully. "And after tomorrow, Rowena is your family, too."

Dean works his jaw. It's a bit difficult to look at Sam, now that he realised that he's never given his fiancée a real chance.

"You'll be here in California, and I'll be back in Kansas. We'll be lucky if we see each other on Christmas."

Sam squeezes his shoulder. "You could move here, Dean."

The older brother shakes his head. "I don't belong here, Sammy." Another squeeze. "And I can't afford to take off so much to drive over." And soon you'll be too busy to fly back to where everything feels small and like past, he adds in his head. He puts on a smile nonetheless.

"Samuel?" Rowena calls from the entrance. "Dinner starts in five."

Sam smiles over to his future bride. "I just need a minute, mo ghràdh."

"Mo what?"

"It's Scottish Gaelic for 'my love'."

Dean raises an eyebrow and chuckles. "You really got it bad, huh?"

"I wouldn't marry her if I didn't."

Dean pats his back. "I'm happy for you man." He's surprised that he means it.

***

Dinner goes fine and Dean has a nice conversation with Anna, who is seated next to him. Luckily, she's not of the resentful kind. Still, Dean is feeling out of place. Their found family is so much smaller than Rowena's real one with all the siblings and cousins from both sides of the pond. And this is only the rehearsal.

As soon as dinner is done, Dean excuses himself and flees to the hotel. A real one that Sam was kind enough to pay. It makes Dean feel only smaller and not good enough.

He takes a shower and walks out on the balcony, just a towel slung around his waist. He can hear the waves hitting the beach nearby and seabirds screeching. He gets why Sam moved here, why he won't come back. It still stings.

Dean did everything in his power to get him so far and he can't bring himself to regret it. But he's still angry. Maybe he is anger, plain and simple. He's been angry since his mother died and his father gave a shit about giving his sons a home. This anger will probably never go away. It's good that Sam found happiness, Dean muses. At least one of them should.

There's movement on the balcony next door and despite the separation wall, Dean can see the trenchcoat clad arms propped up on the railing. What are the odds?

"Castiel?"

There is a long pause and then comes, "Dean?" This gravelly voice doesn't fail to move him. If Dean didn't decide to scratch the term 'witch' for his future sister-in-law, he would wonder if her stepbrother might be a witcher, too.

"Yeah. Not into parties?"

There is another pause, probably filled with a head shake Dean can't see. "I don't like crowds of people. And my family is, well, my family. I love them, but it's complicated."

"I get it," Dean says, although he probably doesn't.

"You seem to have cooled down a little," Castiel states matter-of-factly.

"Was it so obvious?"

Castiel laughs and the sound vibrates into Dean's heart, churning it in delicious ways. "You looked as if you were out to kill someone."

Dean chuckles. "I kinda was."

"Why? And who?"

Dean swallows hard. What he would give for a beer right now, but he had way too much of that red wine already. Maybe that's why he answers, "You." There is a long moment of surprise that Castiel doesn't seem inclined to break, so Dean adds, "I built up this story in my head that Rowena bewitched Sam and you were at fault because you brought them together."

"And now?"

Dean shrugs his shoulders. "I only want Sammy to be happy."

Castiel hums on the other side of the separation. "Why are you sounding so sad then?"

A flare of anger rises in Dean's chest. The man doesn't know him. What gives him the right to state something like this?

"Blow me, Cass!" he grinds out. That guy is getting under his skin. Why, he doesn't know. Maybe because he's right.

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?"

The retort comes quick like a shot and Dean is struck speechless for a way too long moment. Castiel starts chuckling.

"You're an asshole!" Dean grumbles.

"An asshole who gives good head, though," Castiel says smugly.

Dean groans. No, he won't think of these sinful lips wrapped around his cock. No way, José.

"Is that an offer?" his mouth asks without his consent.

"I'm not a one-off kind of guy, Dean."

Dean wishes he wouldn't have to lie if he said he wasn't either. Is there an expiration date for that stamp if you haven't got laid for more than a year? Probably not.

The silence stretches into an eternity until Castiel quietly says, "Good night," leaving Dean alone in the pale moonlight.

***

Rowena looks beautiful and Sam smart. Dean manages to get through the whole wedding ceremony and his best man speech without a single glimmer of jealousy. Bobby looks at him approvingly and Ellen whispers into his ear that his mum would have been so proud of him.

Still, Dean finds himself on the balcony once again. His thoughts need space to swirl around him. There's a lot to process on this fine day—his brotherly/parent-like love, his own loneliness in a room full of people, the strange stares that Castiel and he have been sharing the whole day…

He presses the palms of his hands against his eyes, hoping to force back the sting of tears building up in them. A warm hand lands on his shoulder, startling him. "You've done well."

Dean chuckles without mirth. "Can't remember when anyone said something like this about me." He bites his lip, hard. Why did he say that? To a complete stranger nonetheless. Castiel doesn't comment on it, though, and Dean sighs in relief.

The music coming from the party changes to something slow and Castiel asks, "May I have the next dance?"

Dean turns his head and stares at the outstretched hand for a very long moment. He has never danced with a man before. Not without a beer bottle in his hand and for sure not a slow dance. But he feels a pull to this man, who he hated with all his guts just a day ago. A man with kind eyes, a shy smile, and a patience Dean isn't used to.

He takes the offered hand and Castiel's smile grows wider, just like Dean's heart. Castiel pulls him slowly into his arms, lets him settle against him, and rewards Dean's head leant against his own with a gentle brush over his back.

Dean shivers at the tender touch and bites the inside of his cheek in a last attempt to keep back the tears welling up in his eyes.

"It's okay," Castiel says. "Let go. No one will see it."

And Dean does. In the arms of a stranger under the Californian moon. He doesn't shake off the tender hand carding through his hair, or the strong arms holding him upwards. He lets out the sobs he's been holding and allows Castiel to brush away his tears before their lips meet in a gentle kiss. He smiles at Castiel bashfully afterwards.

"It's okay," Castiel repeats.

Dean chuckles. "Is it? Crying like a baby in a stranger's arms?"

"Crying like the big brother, who raised a wonderful man and has to let him go to live his own life. Crying like a lonely man, who hasn't been touched intimately for ages."

Dean furrows his brow. "How?"

Castiel smiles at him with so much warmth that Dean feels like welling up again.

"Sam loves you. He talks about you all the time. It felt like I knew you before we even met. And the rest? Let's say, kindred souls recognise each other."

Dean huffs a laugh. "You're good, man."

Castiel smirks at him. "And you're a good man, Dean Winchester," he says and leans in for another kiss.

Maybe, Dean muses, Castiel is magical after all.

#dean winchester #castiel #human au #deancas #destiel #fanfiction #destiel fandom #destiel fic #destiel fanfic #destiel fanfiction #deancas fandom #deancas fic #deancas fanfic #deancas fanfiction #emotional hurt and comfort #jealous dean #sad dean #understanding castiel #first kiss

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south-park-meta · 3 years ago

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I'm curious what are your thoughts on Shelly?

Idk how much this will answer your question exactly cuz I'm not sure I have a lot of thoughts on Shelly as an individual and I've said a lot of this before, but... lol

I think she's underdeveloped which is honestly the case for a lot of characters including family members. She's more developed now and also more developed than a lot of sibling characters,--and girl characters for that matter--but that's not really saying much.

When it comes to her relationship with Stan (and to their family in a lesser degree): I see her bullying him in the early seasons as hyperbolic and not meant to be something she was really doing which was why it was toned down pretty quickly as the show went on and found its footing. I think she knocked him around a bit but I kind of handwave 'Shelly was throwing Stan through walls' the same way I handwave 'Wendy murdered Ms. Ellen' as being a joke for dramatic effect rather than something to really be taken literally. I take the more recent dynamic as a lot more literal. Because of this I don't see her as ever being this mega-bully that fans sometimes make out like she is. If I thought she was REALLY slamming Stan around with pianos I guess I'd be more critical so I get it lol but it's one of the rare abuses that I think just need to be taken with a grain of salt.

Shelly and Stan both fit standard roles of children in an alcoholic family household. Most of her behaviors are in a response to Randy and so are Stan's. Her acting out, being loud, slamming doors, are...Well I maybe wouldn't call it a trauma response though ymmv. But it's a situational response in the same way that Stan begging his friends not to tell on Randy's drunk driving or the manner he says things to dial back how much his mom especially has to worry about him is a situational response. All of their behaviors are textbook examples of how kids respond in an alcoholic household.

Their reactions are sort of equal-but-opposite, push-pull. Shelly acts out to draw attention to things, Stan scrambles to cover things up to keep them in working order. Shelly is resentful that she gets more negative attention from her family and less positive attention than Stan does. But this feeds into her behavior because the way for her to get any attention at all is to be angry, annoyed, slam doors or yell or whatever. Stan is resentful because the reason he gets more positive attention is that he's less likely to demand acknowledgement, and in fact the way that Shelly gets attention (behaving negatively) makes it another thing he has to compensate for and makes him feel less like he's able to ask for help himself because it would be drawing on the family's already tapped emotional reserves. It figures they'd be at odds with each other because the way they're trying to navigate a tough situation is at odds in and of itself.

So it does bug me when there are 'Stan vs Shelly who has it worse' or 'who's the favorite child' debates because I think it misses the entire crux of what's going on. The reason they get the attention they do is entirely because of how they respond to what's going on in the house and BOTH feeling like they're picking up slack they don't have to (and both being right about it). And that's based on Randy's addiction, not actually based on the parents liking or loving one more than the other. The entire family dynamic is addiction based.

Shelly's a hurt kid like all the kids of SP are hurt kids. She's not one I relate to, and she's not a favorite character of mine. Which probably figures. The reason Stan's my fav is because good and bad a lot of our experiences and reactions to things are the same, and it does mean that a lot of Shelly's just...annoy me. But she's not a bad person or a bad character and I think hate she gets is largely from people who just don't get the family dynamics going on. I think fandom on a whole tends to miss big chunks of that, though, which I think is fine. Imo it probably just comes from people not having the same personal experience and knowing how 1-to-1 the reactions actually are.

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thebrochtuarachs · 4 years ago

Text

Arranged: Chapter 6

Modern AU. Set in present time. Where Claire and Jamie are arranged to be married.

CH: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5

AO3

A/N: Hello, everyone! I'd like to start with an apology for not updating for so so long. This story is still very dear to me, I daydream a lot of the next chapters, it's in my head and in my drafts and I just didn't realize that has been quite a while since I posted a chapter. Time flew by so quickly in the pandemic, I hadn't seen it pass. Anyway, posting this short and sweet update. Hope you like it! As always, your comments and suggestions are very much welcome :) Hope that you are keeping safe and healthy! Till the next!

XXXXX

The Ring of the Woman of Balnain – or that’s what they call the ring for generations since the 18th century.

For Jamie, it was simply his 8-times great-grandmother’s ring – a small circlet passed down his family for generations. His siblings never cared for the old thing but Jamie loved it ever since he was a wee lad and asked his parents to give it to him when he was old enough – and that time was, apparently, now.

After his mother ambushed him in the kitchen, Jamie was now in possession of one the most precious things in his life. He promised himself that he would give it to the woman he’ll marry someday as a gift and sign of his love and he hoped that the ring would bring luck in their relationship.

When he realized that Claire Beauchamp was the one, he thought about asking for the ring but then he found out about Frank Randall and had to re-evaluate his chances and options. All of his plans for him and Claire got put on hold until their parents intervened with this crazy scheme. But this crazy scheme, allow him to at least, put some plans in place.

A week later, his mother found the ring box on his bed side table, untouched and unopened.

“Give it to her. I want you to give it to Claire. It’s perfect” she heard Ellen say to Jamie who just groaned in disapproval.

“Mam, I thought we were going to do this in our own time, our own terms. Giving her this does not make all of this any easier.” Jamie replied.

“I know, son. But this has a special meaning to our family, ye ken that. Even if this arrangement is so, I would – no, we would, yer father and I – would love it if ye kept with the tradition.”

Then came one of Jamie’s exasperated sighs. “I’m no promising anything, Mam. I’ll think about it but don’t expect anything”

He and Claire hadn’t really discussed the nature of their relationship one month in since getting reacquainted. But the truth was, with all the time they’ve been spending together ( almost everyday ), they’ve gotten really close that even the people close to them have started noticing up to a point where they asked if there was something going on between them.

Of course, they denied it – not wanting anyone to know about what really was going on – saying they were just friends and reasoned the mere fact that their families were close and that was the way it’s always been for them. A damn, unreliable lie but it’s all they got.

Their research was not progressing in any form which was starting to frustrate Claire. Everything they were getting from “company sources'' just didn’t make sense in any scenario or plan. Money was not an issue, their family relations were not an issue, their business relations were not an issue… they were running out of “reasons” and “clues” but Claire refused to give up. Of course, Jamie knew otherwise but silently played along.

Thankfully, their final exams were coming and Jamie decided to put pause on everything and have a break from their research and each other - their schedule not permitting any free time. They haven’t seen each other in a week.

Today, Jamie had been in the coffee shop for hours since almost all of his classes got cancelled when his building suddenly needed to be fumigated.

“This seat taken?” the voice was unfamiliar and Jamie looked up to find Laoghaire Mackenzie looming over his table. He knew about her and her fondness of him, she was never to shy to show it anyway, but he’d never taken a liking to the lass. She wasn’t his type and he didn’t like her personality at all. Despite numerous turndowns, she was still persistent.

Sensing his refusal, she made another attempt. “The table sits four and yer the only one.” She moved the chair in front of him causing the bag to fall over and all of its contents sprawled over the floor.

“I’m sorry. Here” she said, giving some of his things as he stood to pick it up. “Well?” she asked again, waiting for his invitation. Jamie was a gentleman and seems there was no reason to give the lass a boot or the seat. He was about to reluctantly agree when another voice chimed in.

“Actually, the seat is taken.” Claire’s voice was a happy sound in Jamie’s ear. Laoghaire turned to see whose voice was cockblocking her to Jamie and frowned. Laoghaire and Claire have never had a conversation before past pleasantries and despite that, they seem to have grown a dislike to each other, an unspoken disapproval of each person’s position in Jamie’s life. Too bad for Laoghaire, Claire knew she had the upper advantage and would gladly take that road anytime around her.

Claire wore her smug face proudly as Laoghaire huffed and shoved her way past her. Jamie, to his credit, didn’t say anything but rather he smiled at her in such a way that made Claire’s heart sing and she knew it came from a place of utmost gratitude.

Claire took her seat and Jamie started fixing his bag. Upon inspection, he realized he was missing something. Alarmed, Jamie quickly put out its contents again but still, it was not there.

He stood up and looked around the floor, pacing himself around the perimeter of his area. At one point, he even kneeled and bowed down just to look under chairs.

It was still not there.

Jamie stood up, flushed and a paleness was creeping in his face. He has lost it. How could he have lost it? Did Laoghaire take it with her? How would he tell his Mam that he lost a 300-year old family ring? Questions were pouring out his mind and he felt utter despair in the situation.

He wasn’t even supposed to bring it. It was a last minute decision to have it checked and cleaned.

“Looking for this?” Claire lifted the black leather box.

Jamie turned his head so fast, Claire thought he’d trip with his own momentum. But seeing the relief on his face warmed her heart.

“Thank ye!” he sat and moved to get the box but Claire pulled it away. “What’re..?”

“What is this?” she asked genuinely. “Is this what I think it is?”

“Tis’ nothing, Claire” he said, attempting to grab it from her again but was unsuccessful. She gave him a look and he resigned. “Yes. But there’s no need to think about it now, we have exams coming up.”

It wasn’t the same for Claire. The box did cross her mind from time to time since the dinner. But she, too, resigned and gave the box back to Jamie. “Fine, okay. Can I, at least, see it though?” she asked shyly.

“What?”

“Can I see it?”

Oh. Jamie was not expecting that. He didn’t think she’d be interested at all but here they are. He looked around, checking the place. The coffee shop was sparse and there’s no one close enough to pay them attention.

Jamie then focused on her, his eyes boring intently on hers, hoping to convey a certain reverence and seriousness on what he was about to show her. Slowly, he lifted the lid of the box revealing the simple silver ring within, his eyes observing her reaction.

Claire’s eyes focused on the ring as soon it was revealed. She honestly wasn’t expecting anything but if it was an engagement ring, at least, she thought, there’d be a diamond on it.

But this one was as simple a simple band can be and she was captivated by it. “It’s beautiful.”

“I’m glad ye think so. My brother and sister never cared for it…”

“But you do.” she finished and he nodded in agreement. “How old is it?”

“About three centuries old? It has been passed down in my family for generations” Jamie shared but not giving away any more details. That was for another story.

“Alright, I have to be honest” Claire began. “I heard your conversation with Aunt Ellen last dinner. I knew about the box. It was accidental, I promise! I didn’t mean to pry.”

“I’m sorry. This is what I was avoiding. We’re in a tough spot as it is and now this. I’m sorry, Claire. Don’t think about it. I’ll deal with my parents.” Jamie rambled on his apology and closed the box.

“No, no. It’s fine. I know what she meant and I know it’s ultimately up to us.” she moved her hand to comfort him and it landed parallel to where he clutched the box. Jamie startled with the proximity but she didn’t seem to notice and he didn’t move either. “Do you think it’ll buy us time if I wore this?”

“Ye want to wear it?!”

“Why not? If it’ll buy us time, why not? Plus, it looks nothing like an engagement ring. Nobody knows if I’m with someone. If anyone asks where I got it, I’d just say I got it from a vintage store or something old family heirloom.” she reasoned.

Jamie doesn’t look convinced still so Claire held his gaze having some unspoken conversation.

“Only if ye genuinely want to.” he countered.

“I want to”, Claire replied earnestly.

After a beat, Jamie lifted his hand and held it out to hers. “Give me yer hand.”

Claire smiled and handed her left hand to his. At that moment, they felt no awkwardness in their bubble. There was a trust, a knowing, a joy, and an excitement that neither thought of and realized until later. Jamie got the ring from the box and slid it on her ring finger.

A perfect fit.

Jamie wanted to kiss the back of her palm but resisted. Instead, he gave it a gentle squeeze and let it go.

Claire pulled back and proceeded to pull out her books and other stuff on the table and Jamie settled back to his. The rest of the afternoon went by as they normally did until it was time to head home.

#outlander #outlander fanfic #outlander fanfiction #fanfic #fanfiction #jamie fraser #claire fraser #jamie x claire #arranged #arranged au #mia writes #TB writes #Mia finally updates!#thank you readers!

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thebigqueer · 4 years ago

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I'm spamming your inbox but Cellis first kiss??

ooooooh very cute very cute!!

thank you for the prompt, and i hope you like this! and, as always: i do little to no editing on these, so they won’t be my best work. please don’t be too judgmental as you look at these lkajsdfjf

oh my god as i was writing this i got such sudden feelings for cellis i think im 100% on the cellis bandwagon now oh my GOD

There’s a quiet hum in Cecil’s blood as he rushes towards the beach. Darkness sweeps over the camp, night consuming the demigods. It’s almost curfew time and Cecil knows he shouldn’t be going to the campfire right now.

But Ellis is waiting for him. He needs to be there.

Will and Lou Ellen are waiting for him by the campfire, but they can wait for a little bit. They don’t know where he’s going, but Cecil knows they’ll be making their guesses. No doubt they’re going to tease him about whatever happens at the beach when he returns to them.

Brown leaves crackle under his bare feet as he runs towards the beach. A soft breeze caresses his skin. Moonlight spills over the trees. He feels electric tonight, waiting for some kind of ignition to spark his fire.

Within the matter of moments, the beach comes into his view. Dark water sparkles under the stars, flowing in a mesmerizing manner. The crunchy leaves give way to soft sand under his toes, and the smell of the salty breeze infiltrates his nose. Cecil’s heart thuds, thuds, thuds with the promise of seeing his new boyfriend.

And there he stands, his body facing the ocean, looking out to the distance, awaiting Cecil’s arrival. Ellis’ skin glows under the moonlight.

He looks like an ethereal being, a god. He looks like he could rule the world.

And Cecil wants to rule the world with him.

The son of Hermes opens his mouth and speaks his boyfriend’s name, savoring the feel of the letters. He pushes faster, almost running now, sand flitting across his feet as he makes his way to Ellis.

The son of Ares turns, eyes mimicking the glow of the moonlight. A smile blooms over his lips as Cecil approaches, a look of pure kindness balancing gently across his features.

Cecil’s chest heaves as he catches his breath, suddenly feeling the exhaustion catch up with him. Ellis stands before him, still smiling, a softness consuming him. He looks as though he wants nothing more than to simply stare at Cecil, watch him exist.

A warmth envelops Cecil. He’s fallen for tons of people before, but never has he felt such euphoria just by standing in front of Ellis. He feels almost high, giddy, excitement humming in his blood.

Ellis takes his hand, his warmth seeping into Cecil’s. A blush spreads through the son of Hermes’ face. “Hey,” he says simply.

Cecil laughs, though he’s not quite sure why he does. Maybe it’s the manic excitement in him; he feels as though nothing could make him sad again. “Hi,” he responds shyly.

Their fingers mingle together, competing for some kind of dominance. “So,” Ellis murmurs, “you look cute.”

Cecil blanks for a moment. Then he laughs. “Is that why you invited me here? To call me cute?”

“Perhaps,” says Ellis. “Maybe I wanted to bring you here just to tell you that I like your hair.”

“You could have said that to me at any point in the day.” Cecil gently smacks Ellis’ shoulder, causing Ellis to yelp in pain. “You made me think we were doing something cute and couple-y. We’re missing the campfire for this!”

Ellis rolls his eyes. “Oh, please, what’s one night going to do?”

Cecil opens his mouth to argue, but he can’t quite say anything else. He has a point. Instead, he opts to swing their hands together, feel the weight of the other’s hand in his. “So what are we doing here?”

“I feel like we haven’t actually been alone in a while,” Ellis complains, an irritated look coming across his eyes. His fingers pull Cecil’s closer to his chest, placing them right over his heart. Cecil’s face heats as he feels Ellis’ chest under his fingers. He can practically feel the heart beating in there. A heart beating for him.

“Well, I mean, we’ve only been dating for a week,” Cecil says. “Not much time to truly be alone.”

Ellis rolls his eyes. “Ever the romantic, Cecil. I’m trying to be sweet and loving and you’re here being a smartass. But what else is new?”

A laugh bubbles out of Cecil’s chest and he leans closer to Ellis, his other hand reaching for the son of Ares’ elbow. “Okay, dumbass. I’m just being honest.”

Ellis smiles, his teeth flashing in the moonlight, and Cecil’s breath hitches. He’s overcome with some kind of happiness, some kind of excitement by merely being here with Ellis. It’s not that their relationship is necessarily a secret, and they don’t plan on making it one. It’s just the euphoria of knowing that they’re here in their own separate world from the other campers, doing something that no one else knows about. Only they exist right now.

For a moment, Cecil and Ellis just stare at each other. There’s a moment of hesitation; neither boy is sure of what to do next. It’s been a bit of a ride, Cecil thinks, trying to get through these hiccups in their relationship. As much fun as it is dating someone new, there’s still that awkward stage where neither is sure of what moves they’re allowed to make. They’re still getting used to each other, trying one another out like new clothes. They just need to get comfortable.

Then Ellis pulls closer, his arms circling Cecil’s in a tight embrace, and the son of Hermes wraps his own limbs around Ellis’ waist. They bask in each other’s warmth, protecting one another from the cool chill of the night.

Then Ellis pulls away, just a little, and gazes at Cecil. His dark eyes bore into Cecil’s own, searching for something within him. The son of Hermes isn’t sure what he’s looking for, yet he stands a little straighter, hoping Ellis will find it.

Time stills between them, as if Time itself is scared to do anything. Then it happens: Ellis removes one of his hands from around Cecil and places his fingers over the son of Hermes’ face, his fingertips pressing gently against his skin. Butterflies create a storm in Cecil’s stomach as a wave of anxiety washes over him, and he almost pulls away with the overwhelming sensation.

Then Ellis leans in, his lips mere inches from Cecil’s, almost as if awaiting permission to go in.

Cecil meets him halfway; their lips crash together. Color explodes in Cecil’s mind, saturating his emotions. He feels like he’s a firework, shooting into the sky and exploding into all kinds of colors, sparkling in the sky. Ellis’ mouth fits against his; it’s almost as if they were made to fit each other’s.

Cecil doesn’t ever want this moment to end. He wants to stay right here, surrounded by Ellis’ warmth and never leave his arms.

He wants to rule the world with him.

#elena tag #asks #cellis #cecil markowitz #ellis wakefield #rick riordan #riordanverse #cellis fanfic #cellis fic #my writing #fic prompts #fic prompt #riordanverse fanfic #riordanverse fic #cecil x ellis #ellis x cecil #cecellis #cecellis fanfic #cecellis fic

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