#and I know she is mentally ill and can't help that

[sleepyagentdavid]

Not just ominous, but absolutely terrifying. As somebody with dissociative issues, watching Severance hits so hard, because not having memories is scary as fuck!

When you know somebody, especially if you're certain they are (or were) a friend, an overall positive emotional reaction- but you cannot remember a single moment even sitting next to them. No memory of any conversation, there's pictures, pictures of you, of them, but there is no recollection of the events despite the recognition.

When you are connected to somebody who is a complete stranger to you- that you should have more memory of them. But you don't know them. You can't remember.

I fear losing the connections I have one day, because eventually my mind will disintegrate beyond repair, and I will no longer be able to recall the names of those I love sitting next to me. I can only hope that they will still, despite this, somehow, someway, be sitting next to me.

Worse, when I cannot shape the names of people who hurt me, or in what ways they have hurt me, because I cannot remember it clearly, if at all. It opens a path for them to return, to do what they will again and again, if no one else knows or cares to keep them away. If time and/or other factors erodes the safety of a support system, it is possible I could be calling out for a helping hand and find- if not a fist- none reaching out for me.

The dehumanization of the self, the intertwined symbolism- like an ecosystem, even, of symbolism- in Severance of grooming, of capitalism, and the downright cult worship of that capitalism and how it is very closely interchangeable (if that's even the right word) with heavy religious belief. The dehumanization from those who hold power over you, while they too answer to someone with more power that dehumanizes them, to the point neither you or they can tell what is good, what is okay, what should be questioned if anything at all-

The dehumanization you push on yourself through yourself, because of this cycle. This hierarchy, pushing and spreading belief through ignorance and separation and the purposeful lack of tools to educate the self outside of what's given by Lumon.

The re-humanization of Cobel in the way she crashes out, and tells Mark Scout that it is a good thing he is looking to quit. Taught and trained, in an unknown way (but surely similar), the same thing she had been pushed to teach and train Mark S. The mental illness, the pain, the way of thinking. It's bigger than she is, yet throughout Season one it is so hard not to tunnel vision on her, who HAS power, to see that even she has a range of helplessness that's been learned/taught by someone else above her.

Helena tells Helly she is not human, Mark Scout using Mark S. to repress- yet, Helly & Mark S. ARE Helena & Mark Scout, and I could go on and on and on about the Russian doll scenario that is. I could also go on and on about Helly's initial and aggressive/violent defiance of it all, and how even as she starts to push less and less against the lid, her spark being the thing that pushed the others to think in ways they were too afraid to.

The similarities to (if not a straight up parallel/I have no other good word, send help) DID &/or other dissociative disorders, the way the show represents derealization and grief and love, and the grief of love, and more in so many ways through their film work and writing, and the actors doing amazing jobs...

GRAAAHHHH, you are so right.

There it is again, that funny feeling. That transition between:

"Oh my god! A four!!" and "You're right... The numbers were scary."

can't get over how ominous a severed existence can be. imagine a deja vú feeling multiplied by ten. imagine that split second moment before your stomach drops and somersaults, before your throat does that clicking little thing, before your heart bumps against your ribs. recognition without memory.

there it is again, that funny feeling.

"there it is again, that funny feeling" as helly looks at helena telling her she's not a person. "there it is again, that funny feeling" as petey tells mark scout that mark s carries his sadness with him, he just doesn't know what it is. "there it is again, that funny feeling" as mark s reads the dedication to him on ricken's book. "there it is again, that funny feeling" as miss casey tells mark s that she's been fired. "there it is again, that funny feeling" as irving b looks at irving bailiff's paintings of the testing room hallway. "there it is again, that funny feeling" as dylan g looks at his kid for the first time. as milchick tells him the name of his wife. "there it is again, that funny feeling" as helena looks at mark s and helly's kiss. "there it is again, that funny feeling" as dylan g takes out his figure of the four of them together, before pulling the levers. "there it is again, that funny feeling" as irving b looks at burt and his husband, in a world that he thinks doesn't belong to him. "there it is again, that funny feeling" as dylan george is denied a job because he's been severed. "there it is again, that funny feeling" as the four of them look at their attempts at asking for help from the world be turned into lumon propaganda.

[tobias-hankel]

Everyone always talks about how much Spencer loves his mother, Diana, but the relationship just hurts when you think about it.

Here Spencer is after having an incredibly long day. He flew from Las Vegas back to Quantico, figured out an extremely hard puzzle, found out his mother was in danger - then had to admit his mom is mentally ill and that he could be too one day. His mom is rude to him about his body, letters, and over the fact she was flown there to save her life. He then failed a negotiation and a man killed himself in front of him. He was hurt by a bomb, caught on fire, and helped rescue a victim while escaping a burning house.

And then after all that, he stands in front of his mom - exhausted, charred, vulnerable - and he doesn't tell her how he was hurt or about what he did. He says how she helped save Rebecca's life and Diana doesn't even look up.

Diana doesn't give any indication that she even knows who Spencer is and she doesn't ask about the ash all over him. It's clearly nighttime and she asks if it's lunchtime. She doesn't remember that she read the books she asked him about to him.

Then Spencer, even though he is so tired, has to help his mom on the flight back across the United States, while reading to her and taking care of her while Spencer has no one taking care of him.

And this is medicated, well taken care of, Diana. If this is Diana on an alright day, on medicine - what was she like when Spencer was a child.

[starflungwaddledee]

some rather strong first impressions were made.

required reading for the magical "voice" headcanon and another for starstruck's signature in particular. asked by @trainerbob23 !

[katyspersonal]

Lrb dear god, this reminded me of that time when Alfred-chan got sooooo mad at my post explaining why fans should respect bisexual headcanons for Maria and Malenia instead of pretending like they're canonically lesbians and that they get oppressed and erased by mxf ships with them. They kept vagueing that post for like a MONTH in their blog including in tags under reblogs of Maria fanart, passively-aggressively changed their url to character+sexuality to "spite" me and then even made a sockpuppet account to start shit with me in the comments.

They deactivated when me and Val completely obliterated their "you cultivate lesbiphobic following by telling people why they should respect all sexuality headcanons instead of acting cultish or assuming their experiences and stereotypes equal canon confirmation" garbage with actual facts and logic tho but I screenshotted everything fjthfgfj (I learned to document everything the hard way after they've changed the she/they pronouns to they/they pronouns ONLY to accuse me of misgendering, so thank you for making me wiser I guess 😎). Even more vile, as they, a white person, larped as an Arab in that sockpuppet to hold even MORE "privilege" against me in discussion gjtjfh Because for them race, gender or sexuality are just badges of honor and dishonor, they don't see these as traits of actual human beings. And Dr Eugene X, who worked with them and weaponized her race to accuse everyone who disagreed with her of racism, didn't bat an eye at such a terrible act too?? As usual, rules are not for their friends, lol

It is not even the worst thing Alfred did, and yet all of this just, just, JUST because I wrote a point on why bisexual headcanon people did nothing wrong and there is no ground to claim something is canon when it isn't. 🤦‍♂️ Like, they were soooo convinced that I hated lesbian headcanons and that I'd feel angry if they called Lady Maria a lesbian, when what I was angry at is this exact toxic behavior in the fandom. No matter how much you like a headcanon, don't be a bitch about it. Maria doesn't """belong""" to any gender or sexuality, she belongs to anyone who likes her and is invested in her complexity as a character!!!

Yet, apparently, common Malenia simps / Finlay shippers are no better than common Maria simps / Mariadeline shippers. Just, wild how after shit like this, many people have the guts to claim that it is "sexist redditbros" who are the biggest problem of creators in the fandom. 🤦‍♂️ They'd actually blush if they encountered what such self-proclaimed "feminists" do to their own (!!!) over headcanons. 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

[arolesbianism]

The quixote worms are encompassing me once more

[oidheadh-con-culainn]

.

[dana-chan-the-control-brain]

Me: hey sis, I'm sick

Sis: omg I will help you. Whatever you need, just let me know.

Me: Cool, can you get some toilet paper, and chicken noodle soup, maybe some waffles too.

Sis: UGHHHHH Why are you asking me to do things?!

Me: ...you said anything I nee-

Sis: FINE!!! (buys chicken rice soup, which is too herbal and makes me vomit... and takes a shower for the second day in a row knowing I've been throwing up and having explosive diarrhea all day... also buys me valentines day chocolate I can't eat and covid tests that have to be mailed into the lab instead of the fast home tests)

Me: ......bro. Pleas.

[bixiaoshi]

man i feel so unfair when i talk abt how my relationship with my mom makes me feel

[createacamillahect]

camilla hect and her elderly dog she loves and handles so gingerly. she beams around them

[sutille]

one of the endless things I hate of the patriarchy is that it taught me from a young age that every single one of my emotions is automatically invalid during menstruation.

i am now grieving my late best friend, but i can't help but feel that this "doesn't hurt that much". "this unbearable pain is just a result of menstruation. it isn't that bad".

yes, menstruation means chemical and anatomical processes will work a little different from usual, making one more irritable and amplifying how one person experiences their emotions, but that doesn't make them any less valid than they would be if one weren't menstruating.

[toomanyfandomsneverenoughtime]

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[micechicken]

The Showers is my fav creepypasta as I've said but OH MY GOD does it have one of the most punchable characters in a creepypasta ever.

[teethcore]

i can't even complain about our cruel housemate without my angel making it about her.

[sadfraudfrogs]

I currently need to throw my phone into a river because if my mum looks through my phone I'm fucked

[brltpop]

.

[gentlethorns]

i hate being mentally ill and i especially hate that it's triggered by stress. it's like once things start dogpiling on me my own brain jumps in to join the fun and i'm like ??? stop???