#and I just wasn't able to pursue the career I want? that would destroy me

[contagious-watermelon]

Why do I keep seeing transmascs and trans men insisting or implying that all trans men are "female socialized," or "understand the female experience," or "navigated the world as a woman." Because yeah, sure, that can be true for some people. especially if you weren't gnc at all as a kid and didn't crack your egg until well into adulthood, it makes sense.

But they don't stop at saying they had that experience. It always comes with an addendum that trans men, as a group, all can relate to this experience. I don't know about the entirety of my demographic, but I never got even a little bit of what some of them talk about. I didn't even believe that women were scared of going out at night until I kept consistently seeing them say it, online or wherever, for years. I never realized catcalling was a thing until I saw some women complaining about it on reddit.

But they posit it as some sort of, you're safer than cis men, right? You know what it's like? Which, on top of being patently, demonstrably false in the case of myself and many other trans men, holds some unpleasant and often outright hostile implications about trans women. And they always deny it, but if you can't even conceptualize someone like me who grew up gnc, and never got the bulk (or any?) of whatever we consider to be 'female socialization,' what does that say about what you think trans girls went through, growing up? I don't want to speak for them, as I've never experienced that firsthand, but I can guarantee that (if you're even a little bit obviously trans) people don't treat you like a cis kid of the opposite gender. By and large, they don't get treated like cis boys.

It just makes me mad that we're taking this inaccurate framework that (ever so conveniently) puts trans people into the box of our assumed birth gender, and trying to fancy it up and use it with a faux-progressive veneer; never mind the way that transphobes use it to bar trans women from being athletes, or using the bathroom, or having access to any gendered resources they need. It would be bad enough to try and dust it off and use it even if it were largely accurate, due to the aforementioned connections to outright transphobia, but it literally is patently false. Not in all cases, obviously, but why are we trying to revamp this untrue, inaccurate generalization and pretend that we can make it 'trans-inclusive?'

[shoujocentral]

Top 5 Kannazuki no Miko Characters

KnM is one of my favorite anime of all time. The story is unique, the romance is beautiful, and the mecha battles, though divisive, are entertaining as hell. However, the best part of the anime by far are the characters. There's so many of them, and while some are... less impressive than others (*cough* Girochi *cough*), the ones that leave an impact REALLY leave an impact.

Today, I'm here to count down my five personal favorite characters from the Kannazuki no Miko anime. But first, and honorable mention...

Hon. Mention- Makoto Saotome

Mako is best girl. No doubt about that. She's energetic, upbeat, and one of Himeko's few friends. But all of that changes when she loses her entire Track and Field career in the first Orochi attack, and in her grief blamed Himeko. Of course, she eventually comes around and makes up with Himeko by encouraging her during her lowest point. FRIENDSHIP GOALS!

So... why is she only an honorable mention? Well, she's barely in the show. Her only times to shine are in episode 2 and 9, and she's basically non-existent for all the episodes in between. Basically, she's awesome, but awesome only in minimal doses.

No. 5- Reiko Ota

My favorite sub-villain of the bunch. Reiko has a kind of "don't take no shit from nobody" attitude, which is a personality type that I relish. She's a woman of few words, but every word that comes out of her mouth is just pure bliss. My personal favorite is her "Number 69" joke towards Corona (which is actually kinda messed up once you know Corona's backstory). I also love how she's the only one to call out the fact that Tsubasa is gay.

One of my favorite parts of the show is when we learn that Himeko is a fan of Reiko's books. This injects a bit of dramatic irony into her character since she became an Orochi due to her failed career as an author. It really makes me wish that she and Himeko interacted at some point. Oh well, that's what fanfiction is for ^_^

No. 4- Souma Oogami

Ladies, gentlemen, and those of unspecified genders, may I introduce the manliest man who ever man-ed! Souma may not be the most deep or complex character of the bunch, but you can't deny that he's a total badass. His Japanese voice actor has some of my favorite battle screams in all of anime, right up there with DBZ. I get chills everytime he shouts his signature attack "Nichirinkouretsu Daigekiha!"

Of course, he does have a small bit of development towards the end of the series. He starts off with the impression that he needs to protect Himeko from the Orochi. But after Himeko revives Ame no Murakumo by herself, he recognizes her strength and wants to fight the Orochi by her side. Respekt Wamen, my man!

No. 3- Tsubasa

I love this edgy little gay boi! His mech is a darker version of Souma���s, he’s the first villain with a legit air of intimidation, and his fight with Souma oozes awesomeness! He even gets his own insert song, which is a total banger 😎

What I love most about Tsubasa is that, despite being 100% buttfuq insane, he talks to and treats Souma like a caring older brother. When he fights Souma in episode 5, he almost seems proud that Souma has embraced his Orochi powers and has become stronger.

Tsubasa also serves as a great parallel to Chikane. Both become Orochi because of their love for someone. The difference is that Tsubasa is able to see, through Chikane, what a monster he’s become. With that, he sacrifices himself to give Souma strength. Now that’s character development!

No. 2- Chikane Himemiya

"NANI?! Chikane is Number 2??? Get the torches and pitchforks!!!" I know, I know, but please have patience.

What can I say about this actual goddess that hasn't already been said? Even if you've never seen the anime, you can't call yourself a yuri fan if you've never heard the name Chikane Himemiya. She's beautiful, elegant, commands authority wherever she goes, and the biggest damn sweetheart you'll ever meet (specifically to Himeko).

Chikane is by far the most damaged character in the show. She was born into a wealthy family and raised under the highest of high expectations. She had to be perfect at everything, but no one ever took into account the toll this would take on her mentally. Literally, the first person who treats her like a normal human being, Himeko, she ends up falling in love with to the point of obsession. Yeah... she's clearly not all there.

In truth, Chikane falling for Himeko is the worst thing that could have happened to her. She lives in an environment where homosexuality is clearly not the norm, and thus has no way of openly expressing her love for Himeko. This causes her to see herself as "disgusting" and to make up for this, she tries to help Himeko hook up with Souma.

Of course, I can't talk about Chikane without mentioning the most controversial scene. Chikane's decision to make Himeko hate her so she'll sacrifice her to Ame no Murakumo... by sexually assaulting her. She did something terrible, unforgivable, and that's exactly why it's so effective. This is the scene that proves how imperfect Chikane is. She made a horrible decision because she's flawed, she's human.

I could go on about Chikane forever, but that's a topic for a whole other day. Right now, I need to move on to Number 1. My favorite character in Kannazuki no Miko...

No. 1- Himeko Kurusugawa

I know what you're thinking. I know I'm probably the only person on Earth who feels this way. But I'm standing my ground with this one. And here's why...

I identify with Himeko so much. When I was young, during later middle school and early high school, I was weak, unpopular, and cried at just about everything. I believed I was worthless and that eveyone else was better than me. But as I got older, I grew up and became a more confident person, someone who pursues what they want despite the many obstacles that stood in my way.

Granted, the reason for my growth wasn't because I was forced to become a mystical priestess and revive a giant robot god, but that's besides the point.

Coming from someone who may have been the most pathetic kid you'd ever see, what I look for in a protagonitst is someone who's flawed, but more importantly, someone who's vulnerable. In that sense, Himeko is a perfect protagonist. She's the last person you'd expect to be chosen for the task of saving the world. She's a 16 year old girl who puts eveyone's happiness before her own and blames herself for everything that goes wrong in her life. Even her body is unable to take the strain, as she faints almost everytime she faces a dangerous situation.

However, as the show progresses, we see Himeko grow into her own. She becomes braver, wanting to be there for the ones she loves. She becomes stronger, enduring the trauma of sexual assault and reviving Ame no Murakumo all by herself. She learns to love herself, realizing she does have a place in this world and people who care about her.

The only thing that doesn't change about her is her greatest flaw: her undying forgiveness. Her ability to look past everything bad someone has done to her. This applies most to Chikane. Even after Chikane assaults her, attacks Souma, becomes an Orochi, and DESTROYS THE ENTIRE WORLD... she forgives her. Because that's just the kind of person she is.

There's no greater strength that the ability to forgive the unforgivable.

Well, that was a mouthful. I hope y'all enjoyed my first Top 5 list. You may or may not like Kannazuki no Miko as a show, and I can understand that, but I hope my little insight into these characters swayed you just a bit.

Until next time, my fellow yuri lovers! ❤️😊❤️

[dukereviewstv]

Duke Reviews TV: Batman: The Animated Series 1x20 And 1x21 Feat Of Clay

Hello, I'm Andrew Leduc And Welcome To Duke Reviews TV Where We Continue Our Look At Batman The Animated Series By Talking About Episodes 20 And 21, Feat Of Clay

This Episode Sees Bruce Wayne Being Framed For Attempted Murder When Someone Who Looks Like Bruce Wayne Attempts To Kill Lucius Fox, But The Real Killer Is Actually An Actor And Master Of Disguise Named Matt Hagen (Played By Hellboy)

Who Was Disfigured In A Car Accident Years Ago And Is Only Keeping His Career Going Because Of Roland Daggett (Played By....)

(Start At 0:03, End At 0:13)

Who Provides Him A Monthly Supply Of An Experimental Addictive Face Cream Called Renuyu, That Can Reshape His Face Back To Normal...

But Because He Botches The Murder, Daggett Cuts Off His Supply, Forcing Hagen To Go To Daggett's Lab To Get More But When He Does His Henchmen Force Hagen To Drink It, Transforming Him Into The Villainous Clayface...

A Shapeshifting Monster Who Will Do Anything To Get His Revenge On Daggett For Turning Him Into A Monster...

Will Batman Be Able To Clear Bruce Wayne's Name And Stop Clayface From Getting His Revenge?

Let's Find Out As We Watch Feat Of Clay...

Part 1 Starts At An Abandoned Trainway Station At 3:00 Am Where A Meeting Between Lucius Fox And Bruce Wayne Is Going On...

Giving Bruce A Suitcase Full Of Evidence That Incriminates Roland Daggett In An Illegal Scheme To Take Over Wayne Enterprises Through Insider Trading....

But It's Unfortunatly Revealed That Bruce Intends To Destroy Them As A Group Of Armed Henchmen Appear In The Upper Levels To Kill Fox...

But Batman Springs From The Ceiling And Stops Three Of The Thugs However The Wayne Imposter And 2 Of The Thugs Manage To Get Away As The Police Arrive To Help Fox Who Identifies Bruce As His Attacker...

Meanwhile, At A Movie Studio, We Meet The Person Who Was Bruce During The Attack, Matt Hagen, A Famous Movie Actor Who Has Developed A Serious Addiction To A Dangerous Experimental Chemical Lotion Developed By Daggett LaboratorIes Called Renuyu...

Which Allows Him To Reform His Facial Features Into Any Appearance He Wants And Is Necessary For Hagen To Hide The Disfigurement He Suffered In A Car Accident Years Before That Been Kept Secret From The Public...

Starting To Run Out Of Renuyu, His Friend And Stand In, Teddy Gives Matt The Last Of What He Has Left, Despite Being Worried About Matt As He Knows How Addictive Renuyu Is...

Seriously Has Anybody Shipped Matt With Teddy? Because The Way This Guy Acts, It Looks Like He Seriously Wants To Kiss Him...

But Realizing Teddy Is Right And That Begging Daggett To Get More Renuyu Is Wrong, Matt Decides To Go Off And Get Some On His Own...

However, After Hearing About The Failed Attempt On Fox's Life, Daggett Orders His Henchmen Raymond Bell And Germs, Dispose Of Hagen As Believes That He's Of No Use To Them Anymore, But With Them Wondering How They'll Find Hagen As He's A Master Of Disguise...

Hopefully He's A Better One Than Dana Carvey Was...

Daggett Tells Them Not To Worry About It As Once His Renuyu Supply Runs Out, He'll Come To Them...

And As It Turns Out Daggett Was Right As Hagen Breaks Into Daggett's Laboratories To Start Slathering The Stuff On His Face But When Bell And Germs Catch Him, Hagen Attempts To Disguise Himself As Bruce Wayne But Fails...

With A Fight Ensuing Bell And Germs Subdue Hagen And Pour An Entire Vat Of Renuyu Down Hagen's Throat Before Placing Him In A Car To Leave Him For Dead But Unbeknownst To The Henchmen, Hagen's Body Begins To Mutate..,

Meanwhile At The Batcave, Batman Turns Up Bell's Name And Decides To Pursue Him In The Batwing, Luring Him Away From The City By Hacking Into Bell's Stolen Police Radio And Fooling Him Into Thinking That The Police Are Searching For Him...

Eventually Forcing Bell Off The Road, Batman Dumps His Car In The River And Has Bell Dangling From A Mechanical Arm In The Batwing While Attempting To Get Information Out Of Bell...

But Bell Faints Before Batman Can Get Any Relevant Information Out Of Bell, He Faints...

And With The Police Ordering Batman To Release His Detainee, He Does By Dropping Him In A Pool...

But I Have To Say This Next Move By Bruce Is Incredibly Stupid Especially By Someone Who Costumes As One Of The Greatest Costumed Detectives Ever...

Anyway, Bruce Sneaks Into Lucius' Room At The Hospital In An Attempt To Clear His Name, Only For Lucius To Summon The Cops Who Arrest Bruce...

Seriously, Bruce, What Did You Think Was Going To Happen? Did You Think That If You Had A Chance To Explain The Situation Lucius Would Just Let It Go Like That? Uh, No, No, I'm Sorry But No, That's Not How It Works In Real Life...

If Someone Who Looks Like You Attempts To Kill Someone You Know, Police Will Have You Arrested Unless You Have Proof You Did Not Do This...

Meanwhile, Teddy Finds What's Left Of Matt And Let's Just Say...

(Imitating Scotty From Star Trek) It's Not A Pretty Sight, Captain...

Moving Onto Part 2, Bruce Is Released On Bail By Alfred As Teddy Takes Matt Back To His Trailer At The Movie Studio Where He Believes His Career Is Over As Drinking All That Renuyu Has Transformed Him Into An Animated Mound Of Clay...

However, After Recounting What Led Up To His Deal With Daggett, Matt Discovers When He Walks By Posters Of All His Old Movies, That He Can Now Transform Into Anything Or Anyone...

But Despite Teddy Believing Matt Can Come Back From This, He Discovers That It's Unfortunately Temporary And He Can't Keep His Form For Long So, Realising His Career Is Over, He Starts Crying...

With Revenge On His Mind, Matt Reasons That Daggett Will Send Someone To Finish Off Lucius And So, That Person Will Lead Him To Daggett So He Can Finish Him Off....

So, Disguising Himself As A Male Nurse, Hagen Enters The Hospital..

But Unbeknownst To Him, Batman Is Also Inside The Hospital To Catch The Assassin As Well, So, When "Germs" Shows Up, He Flees But Is Unfortunately Cornered In His Worst Nightmare...

A Room...Filled With...Diseases....

(Start At 2:59, End At 4:12)

Asking The Officer For A Moment Longer, The Officer Is Revealed To Be Matt Who Attacks Batman And Abducts Germs Taking Him To The Roof So He Can Throw Him Off The Roof But He Is Stopped By Batman...

(Start At 0:47, End At 2:29)

Returning To Teddy's House To Hide Out, Hagen Makes His Final Plans To Kill Daggett, As Teddy Objects To Matt's Plans, Causing Him To Snap At Teddy Before He Leaves...

Going On Summer Gleeson's Talk Show, Daggett Talks About Renuyu Which He Is Now Releasing To The Public...

But When An Obese Woman Talks About The Rumored Side Effects Of Renuyu, It's Revealed That The Woman Is Matt Who Shows The Audience What An Overdose Looks Like...

But Luckily Batman Arrives To Stop Matt...

(Start At 1:55)

Springing The Trap That He Set Earlier, Batman Shows Clayface Images Of Himself From His Acting Days, Which In Turn Causes Him To Shapeshift Out Of Control...

Luckily, When The Police Enter They See Clayface Shapeshift Into Bruce Wayne Before He Electrocutes Himself When He Hits One Of The Screens

Briefly Returning To His Normal Disfigured Form, Clayface Laments That He Had A Spectacular Death Scene But It's Just Too Bad He Won't Be Able To Read The Reviews...

R.I.P. Clayface

1970-1993

Don't Release The Memoriums Yet, Folks This Episode Isn't Over Yet...

Anyway, With Lucius Relieved It Wasn't Bruce Wayne Who Attacked Him, Daggett Goes To Jail And All Charges Against Bruce Are Dropped...

However When Batman Runs A Test On A Piece Of Clayface That Was Left Behind He Finds That Electricity Has No Lethal Effect On It...

Meaning Most Likely What They Have At The Morgue Is A Shell And That The Real Clayface Is Still Out There...

And That's Feat Of Clay And It's A Good Episode...

The Story Is Very Well Written, Ron Pearlman Does Great As Clayface, And The Designs Are Really Good, But As I Said Before, I Think Bruce Visiting Lucius Without Proof It Was Him That Tried To Kill Lucius Was A Pretty Stupid Move...

But Aside From That One Part, It's A Great Episode And I Say See It...

Till Next Time, This Is Duke, Signing Off...

[dear--sarah]

(1) Hi, Sarah. First of all, I realize this whole situation is a mess (and it's also going to sound painfully teen-angsty) so please don't feel bad if you're not able to come up with an advice, but I just need to vent. What I need to you to know is that I'm 18 and I've been an anorexic since I was 14 and it was really bad, but I recovered. The problem is, before I got sick I basically planned out my whole early-adulthood (and even as a child I wasn't exactly naïve or overly unrealistic)---

(2) and it went like this: go to the best type of high school in my town (the education system where I live is different to the one in US or GB, but that's beside the point) - move to the capital city and go to the college there - graduate, get a job and figure the rest out on the way. But now I'm in the worst kind of high school there is and failing multiple classes and it looks like I'll be forced to drop out because I simply won't be able to pass since---

(3) I barely got through the previous years. I tried studying my ass off, I tried different tutors, and it's hopeless. See, when you drop out here you can't graduate later or take a GED, getting even a terrible job with minimum wage and insane working time is tough and it's just overall rare for someone to not have a high school diploma (except for the mentally disabled). If my 13 year old me saw what I've become she would burst into tears. Everyone in my family has a master's degree---

(4) but most of them either passed away or are alcoholics who I have to take care of. The thing is, I started to destroy my body again and I understand why I do it - it's the only thing powerful enough to make me focus on something else than this mess of a life. But this time, I don't really want to recover. I just want to starve to death, because there's no point in my life anymore. I've always wanted to have things like sharing an apartment with a roommate (preferably a friend/friends),---

(5) family gatherings, celebrating Christmas, birthday parties etc. that seem normal to everyone but I never had because my family is dysfunctional and as I already mentioned, those who cared about me/were functioning/didn't abuse me passed away. The last time I had a friend I was in kindergarten, I have social anxiety and I can't really connect to anyone.

--------------------

hi, phew, okay, there’s a lot here. but first of all, i need to tell you that i care about you, and i really don’t want you to punish yourself in this way!!! i know this sounds like a line, but honestly, when you’re a teenager and on the precipice of so much change, everything feels so heightened and extreme. i was so suicidal from ages 14-17 and i’m so thankful that i held on through that time, because the things i’ve accomplished and the relationships i forged in college have meant so much to me. 

so listen, i’m not a professional and don’t have experience with anorexia, but i understand social anxiety, anxiety disorders, depression, and being suicidal---and i can tell you it does become manageable with help. and that is going to be my underlying advice, no matter what else i say. please, please, go talk to a therapist, or a school counselor who can direct you to someone who has been through exactly what you are. in most places, there are resources in place with people who truly want to help you. 

and i’ve been through some of what you’re talking about, again. through a steady plan of vitamins and supplements and then medication for my specific mental illness, i have been able to understand self-care, self-love, and recognizing my traumas, all of which have helped me be an adult who has followed all of my career goals and reached them as well as pursued academic/intellectual desires. 

i wouldn’t have been able to get to this point if i hadn’t reached a point where i admitted i needed help. which i think you coming to talk to me, even if you say you don’t care---kind of says the opposite to me. and being brave enough to admit what you’re feeling and that you have these desires to hurt yourself, and needing a place to vent---having been where you are in many ways---means you’re looking for help. 

i know it’s hard, feeling this much can be such a burden. but it also can be a gift---i’ve turned being an emotive, anxious, depressive person into being an artist and a storyteller, one that has connected me to people in ways i’m still taken aback by. there are ways to healthily funnel our fears and desires into a way that helps us grow and, again, connects us to people. 

i’m always here as a place to put your thoughts and listen, but i really think you have to go talk to someone in person. if you think you can’t afford it, just talk to your high school counselor. or google for meetings for teenagers with eating disorders in your area---like i said, there are so many people who want to help others because they’ve been through it too. talking is the place to start.

naming your demons and understanding them is the first step in reclaiming your power back from them. you’ve just done so much just by saying everything you’re thinking and feeling to another person.

so i know you’ve got this. i’m proud of you that you can talk about it, even just to a stranger (me) and i believe, truly, that you’re ready to talk about it to someone in person. because i’ve been where you are in many ways. please keep me posted. you’ve got this!!!!!!!