#and I just like age brackets of 3 years

[k3fanblog]

As suggested by @beesetc

[hella1975]

i got a bonus + raise and ive only been working like 3 months im soso excited sorry i just wanted to tell someone

AH THAT'S SO EXCITING! im so happy for you bestie <3

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

Madhubala (Mughal-e-Azam, Barsaat Ki Raat, Mr. & Mrs. '55)—The Venus of India; heart-throb of all who saw her; responsible for the sexual awakening of every single desi lesbian I know (including me!) And my god, she is breathtakingly beautiful. Look at the subtle grace with which she moves, and that smile - the kind of radiant smile that can make you laugh with sheer delight, or cry because of its hidden pain. Those wild curls! That Cupid's bow! The way she tilts back her head and smiles at you with mischief dancing in her eyes! She has a way of looking at the camera that makes you feel she's sharing a private joke just with you; it's something about that quizzical twist of the lips and eyebrows. As an actress, she is inimitable; she seems to effortlessly inhabit roles ranging from a heart-broken courtesan to a laughter-loving socialite. Fun fact : she's had quite the fan following in Greece! Stelios Kazantidis even wrote a song as a tribute to her.

Ingrid Bergman (Gaslight, Casablanca, Notorious)—Where do I even begin with Ingrid Bergman? I fell in love with her with her astounding performance in the 1956 version of Anastasia -- the best Anastasia movie in large part due to her wonderful and touching performance. She's got this amazing, fascinating intensity to her in whatever role she's in. She commits 100%, and she's got this light in whatever she's in that's stunning. She's utterly convincing no matter what she plays, from an amnesiac possible lost princess, from a nun, from a woman taking her revenge on the town that wronged her, to light romantic comedy. She's never missed in any role I've seen her in! Also she became quite the MILF.

This is round 5 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Madhubala:

An icon of Bollywood, who was well known for her beauty and has continued to inspire performances and songs into the 21st century. She was at times described as "the number one beauty of the Indian screen" and "the biggest star in the world".

SHE IS EVERYTHING AHHH. JUST LOOK AT HER SMILE-

She's been nicknamed the Marilyn Monroe of India and was one of the highest paid actresses in the Hindi film industry (the term Bollywood did not exist yet) during the 1950s. Also an extremely talented dancer and singer

SHE'S JUST SO STUNNING, like seeing her eyes IMMEDIATELY CAPTIVATES YOU, THE DANCING, THE BEAUTY!!!!!!!!! She worked in Bollywood for over 20 years and passed away at a sad early age of 36, BUT THE IMPACT SHE HAD WAS UNMATCHED!!!!!

That sassy sideways glance she does always has me WEAK AT THE KNEES. And when she's making silly faces at the camera to mimic someone ahhhh my gay little heart <3

Ingrid Bergman:

God, she's fantastic. She's both beautiful and a compelling actor who's more than capable of putting the whole movie on her shoulders if necessary. It's worth noting that while her beauty is conventional, she was seen as refreshingly "natural" with more eyebrows and less makeup than many other leading ladies of the time. She's well known for her role in Casablanca, but in Notorious, Spellbound, (both available on archive.org ) and Gaslight (1944) she shows how immensely capable she is.

I mean...she's Ingrid Bergman. I feel like that should be enough, you know? She's physically beautiful (her eyes!) but watching her is like a transcendent experience. Her voice, her expressions... beautiful woman, beautiful actor.

I'm a gay man but even I understand her appeal. I'll watch any movie she shows up in. Gorgeous woman.

Just try and watch her movies without sighing wistfully, then get back to me!

Choosing 1-3 movies where Bergman was at her hottest was agony because, of course, she was always at her hottest. Not just because she was beautiful but because she was absolutely willing to go up against the bs women in Hollywood were constantly dealing with. When exiled from Hollywood for having an affair with Roberto Rossellini, not only did she refuse to apologize at any point, but she went on to say that Hollywood's films had grown stagnant and boring to her. Though she said she appreciated her time working there, she wanted to try new, different techniques (hence starring in Italian neorealist films, working on stage, and acting under directors like Ingmar Bergman). She was not afraid to chase after her artistic ideals and go outside the box regardless of what society had to say about it. From her first movie to her last she killed it. There's so much more to say about Bergman's career and life, but I've already written five million words so I'll stop at that.

ion words so I'll stop at that.

One of the most incredible actors I've ever seen on film. Her facial expressions are so intricate and poignant that I cannot look away. I'm either ace or straight, but damn she made me question that.

SEVEN TIME OSCAR NOMINEE QUEEN. Girl also PULLED, having affairs with famously hot men Gary Cooper and Gregory Peck IN ADDITION to her three marriages...sexy

She has a very natural beauty to her, and she's from Sweden!

She left Hollywood and only became more beautiful. You could drown in her eyes. She can look innocent AND like she's seen it all. She is effortlessly elegant. She's played Joan of Arc (automatically hot) AND was in the movie that coined gaslight as a term. And where would we be without that!

She was known for being a breath of fresh air on the movie scene at the time with her windswept hair, dreamy smile and soulful eyes. I have loved her in every movie I have seen her in - she was just magnetic!

Where do I even start. There's a neighborly quality to this beautiful, talented actress that makes her hotness one of a kind and her looks impossible to forget

With a career spanning five decades, Bergman is often regarded as one of the most influential screen figures in cinematic history. Known for her naturally luminous beauty, Bergman spoke five languages – Swedish, English, German, Italian and French – and acted in each.

She's hot, don't get me wrong, but I've always found her very approachable, like she could easily be a member of my friend group

A lot of the time hotness in a movie is just about words and framing. "You're the most beautiful person here" [vaseline lens] well I sure hope so because that's who you cast. But when, in Casablanca, they call Ingrid Bergman the most beautiful woman in the world... they were not fucking lying. And such a dynamite actor too!! I'd only seen Casablanca up until last year, and there she's confined to love interest. But in Gaslight she was maybe one of the most incredible actors I've ever seen!!!! Goddddd shes so fucking hot and cool.

[steddieas-shegoes]

Part 2 to this post

When gay marriage became legal, everyone expected Steve and Eddie to run to the courthouse and get it done.

They’d waited long enough.

But they were watching the news on a hospital room television instead of their home, keeping Wayne company while he received his last chemo treatment.

It had been a really rough six months, Eddie taking the brunt of caring for Wayne so Steve could work and pay the bills for all of them. But they wanted to.

Wayne had done so much for both of them, he deserved to be taken care of now.

The doctors had said he was getting to an age where the chemo would most likely only extend his life by a few years at most, that the cancer growing in his body would only be stopped temporarily by this drug that made him weaker than any cancer could.

At first, he didn’t want it. He told them both it wasn’t worth putting his body through it at his age, but Eddie convinced him through tears that he wasn’t ready to let him go yet.

And Wayne always did have a soft spot for Eddie’s tears.

Every other Friday, Wayne was brought to the hospital by Eddie, sometimes accompanied by Steve if his day off lined up right, hooked up to an IV of fluids and a harsh chemo mix, and kept for observation for 8 hours to ensure it didn’t cause any major issues on his frailer than he’d like to admit body.

The last treatment hadn’t gone well. Wayne ended up having low oxygen levels and high blood pressure, so they kept him overnight. Overnight turned into 3 nights, four days, which is sort of like a cruise to the Bahamas if you take out the fact they were in a hospital in Indiana.

Steve was holding Eddie’s hand as they all watched the tv, their silver wedding bands from a decade ago resting on their ring fingers.

It didn’t have to be legal to mean something to them.

Wayne had been much livelier over the last 24 hours, his blood pressure back at a normal for him level, though his oxygen level still fluctuated between too low and normal.

“Would ya look at that? They did it.”

Steve looked over at where he was sitting up in bed, smiling at the tv.

“They did.”

Eddie was wiping a tear from his cheek.

“Took them long enough.”

Everyone in the room huffed out an unamused laugh.

It did take way too long.

“Steve.”

Steve looked back over to Wayne and noticed he was looking tired again, like the news was the only reason he’d been forcing himself to be awake.

“You remember that bet?”

They’d made a lot of bets over the years, usually during March Madness. Wayne purposely bet against Steve because it was an easy win, even though they liked the same teams and often had similar brackets.

So no, he didn’t really remember whatever bet he was talking about now.

“Oh come on. I’m the old one here. You’re supposed to have great memory.”

“I’ve had like, eight concussions. My memory is like a goldfish.”

Eddie snorted next to him and nodded in agreement. Just this morning Eddie had to remind him that it was trash day despite it being the same day every week for the last 17 years they’d lived in their house.

“You owe me $5.”

“I’d remember that.”

“Eddie asked for you.”

Steve and Eddie looked at each other with concern. Was Wayne having a stroke? Was he slowly losing lucidity? He’d never shown any signs of memory problems, but sometimes being in the hospital had a lot of negative effects.

“When Eddie woke up in ‘86. I told you he’d ask for ya first and he did. Never collected on the bet because you two were too much.”

Steve suddenly remembered everything from that day, tears pooling in his eyes at how all of this started.

If he hadn’t stayed to hold Eddie’s hand then, would he be holding it now? Would they be husbands in every way but legally?

Steve looked at Eddie with a smile.

Then he turned to Wayne and smirked.

“Bet you $5 I propose right now.”

Wayne smirked back at him.

“Bet you won’t.”

Steve gave him the look that said ‘just watch me’ and stood up, dropping to one knee slowly.

“Eddie Munson. We already wear rings. We’ve lived together as husbands for so long, I can’t even believe we aren’t actually married. But I want to be. I want to fill out the stupid paperwork at the courthouse and maybe plan a little wedding with our kids and family. I want to have a honeymoon and be young and in love even though we aren’t young anymore. I want to be yours in every way starting right now. How does that sound?”

Eddie was crying. He was always more emotional than Steve, he just hid it better. Usually.

“You wanna be mine?”

“I’m already yours. I just want us to have everything.”

“Then I wanna be yours.”

“Good.”

Eddie leaned forward and kissed him, more passionately than they usually ever did in public or around Wayne. It was a special occasion, though, what choice did they really have?

After a minute, Steve pulled away and looked over to Wayne.

“Sorry about your $5.”

“I’m not.”

Wayne had never been more pleased to not be able to collect on a bet.

[onboardsorasora]

I woke up this morning with a song in my heart and that song was reversed age gap maxiel with a lil scumbag Max in the bridge. I've had an ask in my inbox for months now about reversed aged gap maxiel and I thought this was the same vibe but sadly it isn't. Oh wells, this is what I wrote this morning. thank you @chaosinstigator for being an amazing cheerleader <3

1172 wrds. There is a part 2 apparently lol

Something something four-time world champion Max Verstappen looks across the garage at his new teammate, the 18yr old they dragged up from VCarb to replace Checo. 

Daniel Ricciardo was a fast driver, he'd only spent a fraction of the year in F2 before he was called up. And even though the car wasn't good, he was. Which is what mattered.

Helmut had been puffing chest out in pride ever since Daniel proved him right. 

Now the kid– because that's what he was, a kid– was talking to the old man, nodding periodically while Helmut spoke. Like a good boy.

They'd already met, had time to break the ice as teammates and Max could hardly ignore how his light brown eyes had shone with worship and awe. Or how Daniel’s voice had cracked when he promised to be a good challenge for Max this year. His lips pulled into an almost-but-not-quite-there cocky smirk over the brackets of his braces, and Max idly wondered what other ‘challenges’ Daniel would pose this year.

In the weeks since that, Max couldn’t help but notice Daniel. How could he not? He was cute, in a dorky way. He listened to loud music, loudly. Unlike Checo who kept his tunes to a reasonable volume for someone sharing a wall. Daniel was always giggling and joking around, trying to rile people up to play. 

Max was already riled up in a different way.

What with Daniel’s continued teasing and jokes, walking around in tiny shorts and showing his new thigh tattoo to anyone with eyes. He was flexible too, contorting his scrawny body into yoga poses while they waited for engineering to start, doing handstands in the hallway. He was loud when he got massaged. Max could hear him talking through the thin wall and then his voice would hitch and he would groan when Jon apparently hit a particularly deep knot. It drove Max up the wall.

Max knocked twice before opening the door– his usual standard– then froze in the doorway. Daniel looked at him wide eyed, dressed only in his underwear and clearly about to get dressed in his tight white fireproofs. Max hadn’t ever seen him so underdressed, even with all of the random activities they’d been doing for marketing. He was scrawny yes, but still lithe with corded muscles. Dotted with freckles and sunspots. Max gripped the handle of the door when Daniel’s big eyes lost their surprise and settled into upturned curiosity. His heart shaped lips dropped open a little, enough for Max to see his tongue pressing against his braces. Max wanted to smear his come in the brackets.

“Max?” Daniel’s voice pitched upwards.

Max mentally stepped away from the visuals of him debauching this kid. “Your music.” He got out.

“Oh jeepers, my bad. Sorry!” Daniel rushed to the table to lower the volume on his speakers. Max watched his ass in his tight briefs. How his thighs bunched as he moved, thick with dark wiry hair.

“Lovely, thank you Daniel.” Max smiled and Daniel’s face darkened with a pleased flush and he bit his lip. Max forced himself to close the door and go back to his own room.

— - —

They were changing after a gokart race for marketing, Daniel sat shirtless on the bench. Max looked over to see him already watching him. After spending the last twenty minutes with Daniel practically sat in his lap while Max gripped his tiny waist, Max would appreciate it if he got dressed already.

“I can hear your brain from here.” Max teased and Daniel’s lips pulled into an unconscious smile even as he looked away. 

“Sorry I just– you don’t like me, do you?” Daniel blurted and Max froze.

“What?”

“It’s just– you didn’t–I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have like said that.” Daniel shook his head and stood. Max watched him tuck his long sweaty curls behind his ear. 

“Why would you think that?” Max was confused as to why Daniel would assume that he hated him, and wondered what made him think that way. As far as Max was concerned, he hadn’t treated him any differently than anyone else. Unless Daniel was expecting special treatment? If anything, Daniel was getting special treatment. Max wasn’t going out of his way to be a dick to him, he wouldn’t do that to his young teammate.

“Uhm, I– everyone says you were nicer to Checo, warmer. I-I don’t think you’ve been bad– you’ve been great. But I’m not Checo and I dunno if you like resent me for replacing him.”

“Checo was my teammate for five years, I am not going to, of course, automatically treat you like him.” Max pointed out, “and you shouldn’t listen to the media, they are talking out of their asses most of the time.”

Daniel blushed and ducked his head, chastised. 

“Was that it?” Max asked kindly. He would rather get this all out in the open now.

“I'm sorry.” Daniel apologized, his upturned eyes looked glassy as if he was holding back tears. “I just want us to be friends I guess.” He shrugged.

“You don’t have to be friends with your teammate.”

“I know but.. You were friends with all of yours. Like Carlos.”

Max scoffed, he hadn’t been friends with Carlos when they were teammates– they fucked out their frustrations.

Daniel’s eyes widened and his mouth dropped open in a small o. Max shrugged and tugged his shirt over his head. He repacked his bag and tugged on a cap, turning to see Daniel squirming where he stood, a deep blush on his cheeks. And oh. Well this was interesting. 

Max crossed the room and stood over him, using the few centimeters he had on Daniel to his advantage. Daniel’s head tipped up trustingly and Max cupped his smooth chin in his big hand. Daniel let out a breathy exhale that had Max’s blood surging. 

Max leaned in closely, so close their noses touched. Daniel’s breath hitched. It would be so easy to take. To give in and do what he wanted to Daniel, clearly what Daniel wanted him to do to him. It would be so easy to ruin him entirely. Too easy. 

“You have no idea what you’re asking.” Max whispered against pink lips. Daniel whined in response.

“I– please. I can take it”

“Have you ever?” Max wanted to know, needed to know just how corrupt his little jailbait was. Daniel’s eyes widened and Max bit back his groan. Fuck.

“W-with girls.” Daniel admitted in a whisper, he grabbed at Max’s arm as if he were afraid that his admission would make him less desirable. As if Max hadn’t already been fantasising about fucking him seven ways to Sunday every fucking weekend. His cock stirred at the thought of being the first in the undoubtable tight clench of Daniel’s untried hole. Of being the first to have him writhing and screaming at the discovery of his prostate. 

Would he beg? Max quirked a smirk at the thought, Daniel was already begging right now. 

[sexiestpodcastcharacter]

Sexiest Podcast Character — Unscripted Bracket — Round 5

Propaganda

Glenn Close (Dungeons & Daddies):

#Propaganda for Glenn Close: one of the other PCs mentions multiple times how hot he is #Actually several characters point it out but especially Henry #Also the only person in a podcast that has to put a disclaimer about not being a BDSM podcast to have had sex during the course of the show

Young hot rocker dilf

Loyal to his dead wife <3

Does in fact smoke weed

BARD!! HES A BARD. HE WAS LEAD GUITAR IN HIS BAND (that he was kicked out of)

His band was a Christmas cover band btw.

Literally the fandom had hot Glenn summer which consisted of drawing him being incredibly hot and sexy

Anti government (ofc)

Kind of cringefail (Disney adult) (was on dilfs of disneyland)

Young and sexy not your style? Then how about HIM AFTER YEARS LOCKED IN A TIME PRISON WITH A DAMN HANNIBAL MASK ??

Lost an eye and wears a fucking eyepatch

One incredibly buff arm

Has a pet rat named after his son <3

Immeasurable amounts of trauma in this man- becomes progressively more unhinged

OH OLD HUMAN BARD ISNT CUTTING IT? FINE

HE BECOMES A FUCKING DEMON

A COOL HOT ONE-EYED DEMON WHO WANTS TO KILL HIS DAD (also sexy)

HE CANONICALLY ENDS CHRISTIAN HELL VIA CHRISTMAS

IS ALSO WAY OVERLEVELED

Becomes a demon hunter for the rest of his existence

Also nonwhite !!! We are done with cringefail whiteboys !!!!!!!!!

I can’t put into words ok just know he is the best plz love him.

Okay but Glenn made a minivan cum by talking to her so

HE HAS A BOOK THAT HE MARKS X’S AND CHECKS FOR EVERY DAY TO SEE IF THAT DAY WAS A SUCCESS OR NOT. TO SEE IF HE DID GOOD THAT DAY. ITS ALMOST ENTIRELY X’S. HE WAS CUCKED OUT OF A SON. AND A DEAD WIFE. HE DIDN’T EVEN GET TO KILL HIS DAD IN REVENGE. There’s absolutely nothing going for him except his sex appeal in his life. Nobody he loved remembers him. He lost his eye. All he has is a pet rat and friends who admit they don’t really like him that much. He was kicked out of his own band. The band was named after him. He was kicked out of the Glenn Close trio. All he could do was deez nuts the big bad and be sexy. If nothing else, then pity him. Look in his eyes. Look at his heart and soul. He did not do the BDSM episode for this I’ll tell you what. Do this for my his sake. Do it for Nick Jr, who needs the prize money to pay for his rat snacks. Do it for his son. For Morgan. Ganbatte.

Glenn is the goofiest sexiest character there is and I will die on this hill! I will ride into battle for him! what Dndads created is truly unique and Glenn is a key part of that and for that he deserves to win. I said it before and I'll say it again - GLENN SWEEEEEP

Can we talk about how he says ‘baby’ casually? Like he just calls people that?? That’s HOT. THAT IS HOT!! He’s also bilingual and knows Japanese!!!! He’s a big dumb idiot with a lot of charisma!!!!!! HE WORKED AT A BDSM PLACE FOR TWO SEPARATE ONE SHOTS. HES SO SAD BUT PLAYS IT OFF LIKE HE’S CHILL ALL THE TIME!! HE DOESN’T THINK OF HIMSELF AS SINGLE BECAUSE HE DIDN’T DIVORCE HIS DEAD WIFE!!! He’s like.. the perfect guy. We need this win.

I’d also like to add the fact I made this. Which is the first 11 episodes edited to (almost) only have Glenn in them <3 which is a level of insanity I hope to reiterate. These took hours to make. I wouldn’t do that for anyone else.

Mod Note: While I will still take "bad dads are sexy" propaganda and "bad dads aren't sexy" anti-propaganda, I kindly request no more discussion on whether or not he was a bad father. This is a sexypoll, not a parentingpoll. If you see a post you strongly disagree with, you can just not reblog it.

Mod Note 2: This tournament is about fictional podcast characters. Please do not vote for the real actress Glenn Close.

Amber Gris (The Adventure Zone: Ethersea):

Middle aged woman who punches sharks to death. My hero

If you love me you'll vote for amber gris I swear to everything holy on earth amen

Amber is butch, instant win

Amber Gris has a negative charisma modifier and she pissed her pants on purpose in order to trick a guard and knock him out. She tied up a dude. She once killed an evil magic shark (they're out for murder. not like real sharks) by punching it and then picked it up and smashed it into another shark, also killing it. She talks in a southern accent. She calls people guppy because it indicates a lack of respect. She has a big pair of magical green arms that come from her stomach. She got a fancy jacket and immediately ripped its sleeves off. She has a gay thing going on with one of the political leaders in the city. She gets in fights with people and doesnt do vulnerability and tries to lay low and not get in any social trouble she doesn't have to. She jumped through a portal into a new world because she could. She's now the god of said world, alone with only afformentioned political leader, who was previously possessed and she had to fight. She spends her time in a bar called the Cloaca. She calls people she doesn't like claspers, because it means shark penis. She and her friend, an old man named Uncle Joshy, sneak attack each other and yell VIBE CHECK! She tries to talk fancy to impress people and she's really bad at it (verily).

She’s everything and more. She’s irreverent. She punches sharks for a living. She becomes God. What more do you need in a butch.

amber gris propaganda: she is straightup the physical embodiment of "women want me, fish fear me." also she's an appalachian post apocalyptic sea captain. that's just objectively cool.

AMBER GRIS IS PUNCHES SHARKS AND IS (one of) THE MOST BADASS BLACK WOMEN PCS IN DND SHOWS IVE EVER SEEN. SHES INCREDIBLE AND A WIN FOR DYKES EVERYWHERE

amber's creator said she was based off of the type of working-class woman you commonly see in appalachia where "this is the sort of woman that you see walking past CVS, and you know that a truck could hit her and it would just split around her as she continued to go pick up whatever she had to do that day." and that's pretty hot

guys Amber becomes lesbian god of the new world with her childhood “”friend””

#amber gris is LITERALLY a middle-aged butch #she would win this entire tournament in a just world

Last time Amber got horny was when she killed that shark

"it was a savage bummer though, don't-- trust me, there's nothing that great about a history. You know? I got one. What did I do, killed a bunch of sharks? Last time I got horny, god and christ I can't even tell you-- well, it was when I killed that shark. But! Hey. We're all just kinda figuring it out."

Moonshine Cybin (Not Another D&D Podcast: Bahumia):

She's a hot elf with mushrooms growing on her. She has 1 level of barbarian. She's bisexual. She shapeshifted into a dragon and ate a god.

how tf does the post not mention Moonshine’s giant boobs her greatest asset

Moonshine has canonically gone down on a woman for a solid hour without asking for anything in return. Moonshine edged a dryad just by kissing them. Moonshine faced down someone being controlled to kill everyone in his path and told him if he still wanted to hurt her, she would take his blows as a friend. Moonshine makes jambalaya for her family and friends. Moonshine mispronounced someone’s name for a month and that woman still wanted to hook up with Moonshine. These are just a few of the reasons why Moonshine is sexy.

shes illiterate

canonically huffs dirty water from a bong

has big tatas

wears a belly chain with a demon trapped in it

almost became the queen of hell

ate a god

turned into a pregnant moose & gave birth

The woman she went down on for an hour asking nothing in return is still hung up on her, 200 years later. Moonshine is unmatched

To be clear the woman whose name Moonshine mispronounced for a month and then hooked up with is the same woman she went down on for an hour, and the same woman who is still flustered over her 200 years later. The rizz is unparalleled. She’s also incredibly kind and accepting of others, and goes out of her way to bolster her friends. The party always requests one big bed.

moonshine cybin is a druid who learned counterspell through sheer force of will. moonshine cybin turned one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse into a dolphin, flew him 60 feet up into the air, dropped him on the ground, and then spit spores into his face to kill him. moonshine cybin turned into a dragon and bit the head off of a double god. moonshine cybin was willing to confine herself to an eternal hell to save the world. moonshine cybin is a dragon rider. you know what you must do.

Amber and Moonshine Together

Look at them. They should not have to fight when they could be gay instead. Imagine the power they would have combined... Every lesbian in a hundred mile radius of the post would swoon. It may be an odd alliance, but from an Ethersea fan to Bahumia fans, i believe this will strengthen both our odds. I have always been insane about Amber Gris but through this poll I have also learned about Moonshine and come to love her too. Take my hand... We can do this together...

OKAY HEAR ME OUT MOONSHINE AND AMBER WOULD GET ALONG SO WELL

appalachian sapphic solidarity!

Art of Amber and Moonshine from @pirateknight.

[milflewis]

ok but mob au

1.

“You really didn’t know who I work for?”

When Yuki found out that Pierre’s boss is the Sebastian Vettel, the Lion of Singapore, and the unofficial heir to Schumacher & Co., he had only raised his eyebrows. Pierre took that to mean he had already figured it out.

Yuki blinks at him. “No.”

“But.” Pierre frowns. “Why did you — I always have so many knives on me! Is this not weird to you?” He gestures at his jacket which hangs open, showing four different perfectly sharpened blades tucked into the lining.

Yuki shrugs. “You are French, yes? You like to cut things. Like cheese.”

Pierre mouths wordlessly. Cheese.

“Anyway,” Yuki adds. “You are weird, so. This would not be weird.”

2.

The first time Sebastian meets Lewis, his runners are wet with Michael’s blood and Lewis’s hands are pressing his head into the glass door. His face aches, nose throbbing.

“Can I help you?” he says, or tries to say. It comes out vaguely smushed.

He pushes back a little just to see. Lewis lets him move half an inch before shoving him back.

“Jesus, Hamilton,” Sebastian hears Michael say. His voice cracks roughly. Sebastian nearly cried when the doctor told him Michael survived the surgery, that they got all the bullets out and he was in recovery. He swallows thickly, as the relief makes him all dizzy even now. “I know you got out today but c’mon, let him go. This is Sebastian — I talked about him.”

The hands on Sebastian’s neck disappear and he’s rubbing at his jaw when he turns around. “Ow,” Seabastian tells Michael. His cheeks are pale and his chest is wrapped in white bandages but his eyes are alert and he is grinning.

“Sebastian, this is Lewis Hamilton. Lewis, Sebastian Vettel. Mika says we are all friends here.”

He pats Mika’s ankle that is propped up on the bed beside his hip. Mika’s eyes stay closed, arms folded in his chair, chin on his chest. There are dark bruises under his eyes under now.

“Right. If Mika says so.”

Lewis steps back towards Michael’s bed, grabbing the duffle bag from where it was leaning against the wall. Sebastian looks at his bare arms, the tattoos that go all the way down to his fingers, the rings there. His jeans sit low on his hips. He needs a shave. Sebastian recognises him from his mugshot, even of his hair is longer now and his face is more lined.

They hadn’t had the time to arrange for Michael to share a cell with someone affiliated with them, and when they had got in contact with him, a week later, he had settled in well enough with his cell mate. By Michael standards at least.

Does not talk much, Michael had told Sebastian over the phone. Likes his fucking singing though. Stares at the picture of his dog. Do you think he is lonely?

When Sebastian had brought it up with Mika, the best person for this kind of thing when Corinna is away, Mika had only shrugged, and told him that he doesn’t think it is just Hamilton that is lonely, and that of fucking course anyone who could survive nine weeks in solitary with just Fernando Alonso as company in the next cell over is someone that Michael would find interesting.

Sebastian looks away from the breadth of Lewis’s shoulders in his white tank and pulls a face at Michael’s waggling eyebrows.

3.

“How old do you think I am?” Jenson asks, as Alex adjusts his long-rifle until it sits comfortably against his shoulder, supported by the flat roof they are lying on. 

Alex doesn’t answer, because he knows exactly how old Jenson is, and the fact that people continue to tell Jenson to his face that he looks ten years older than his actual age will never stop being funny.

“Ollie, how old do you think I am?” Jenson calls.

“Jen, leave the kid alone,” Alex says. “You could dye your hair.”

“Do I look like a man who would dye his hair solely to stave off questions about his age?”

“Yes,” Alex sweeps the street below them, marking the buildings bracketing the shop they are surveilling. “Ollie, how are you doing over there?”

He can hear him scramble around for a second before a burst of static. “Radio ready for orders, sir.”

Alex grimaces, still not used to that, as Jenson only laughs beside him.

4.

“Michael? We got him.” Eddie leans back against the closed door.

Michael hums, closing his leather notebook. He leaves his fountain pen tucked into the middle so he remembers what month of intakes he was going over.

“Send him in.”

The kid’s hair is long and dirty, falling into his eyes and around his ears. His knees are all busted up under his baggy shorts. His face is drawn and thin, and he is glaring at Michael, jaw clenched.

He goes all pale when he sees who sits in front of him. Seems like he didn’t know whose car it was.

“Jesus,” Michael says. “You’re tiny, how did you reach the pedals?”

This morning, the kid — Sebastian Vettel, Michael had asked around — had hot wired Michael’s car in under two minutes and driven away. Michael had watched from the restaurant’s window, amused and impressed.

Mika had been decidedly less so when Michael told him, ten minutes later, that they were going to have to order a cab.

“I’m not that short!” The glare intensifies. His eyes are kind of freaky, Michael thinks. Very big and bright.

Michael holds out a hand, level with his chest, and squints. He lowers it considerably. Sebastian looks like he wants to bite it.

“Of course not,” Michael tells him soothingly. Eddie gives him a reproachful look. Michael holds back his eyeroll but takes his hand out of reach of Sebastian’s mouth.

“I have a job for you,” Michael says, watching Sebastian’s eyes sharpen. He smiles thinly. “If you’re up for it.”

“A job. For me? What kind of job?” Sebastian tilts his head to the side, making his eyes wide. His curls tumble across his forehead. The whole effect is rather sweet, Michael considers, delighted. This will be interesting.

Mika has been nagging at Michael to stop picking up strays but he thinks he will agree with Michael on this one.

5.

Michael stretches out his back, legs interlocked at the ankles, until something clicks along his spine. He exhales slowly, sinking back into the shitty mattress.

They called for lights out fifteen minutes ago. Lewis is still in the bunk above him. Michael looks at the scratches across the metal rods. He had a good workout today, no interruptions, and his arms are nicely sore.

Seventeen minutes.

Lewis moves in his bed, rolling over to the right and for a moment, Michael thinks he will roll right off the edge, but then he is swinging down, silent. Michael holds himself very still.

"I am not interested in fucking."

"Yeah," Lewis says. "I heard."

Michael swallows. The sharpened edge of Lewis's plastic spoon presses into his throat. Lewis is dense and solidly heavy, knees on either side of his hips, one foot digging into his knee.

Michael has seen him fight. In an enclosed space like this, and unarmed, he isn't sure who would come out the better. His fingers itch with excitement.

"I found the picture you left," Lewis says quietly. The spoon doesn't move an inch. His eyes gleam in the dark like an animal.

"Okay," Michael says, not bothering to pretend not to know what he is talking about.

Lewis was fine this morning. He hummed to himself the entire way to breakfast, and he spotted Michael in the gym without even being asked. It wasn't until after dinner that he went all weird and still in himself.

Lewis presses down, just a little. Michael raises an eyebrow.

"Is he alive?" Lewis asks like he doesn't want to show his hand but is doing so anyway. His mouth trembles at the corners. Michael frowns at him. He has seen Lewis hustle in the yard at card games enough times to know that his poker face is better than this.

"Is he."

Oh. Jesus.

Michael laughs. It is too loud of a sound for where they are. He laughs anyway.

"You have issues," he tells Lewis, who only sends him a cutting look.

"That was supposed to make you feel better! Stop crying and all. You miss him, yes? Thought I could help."

Lewis stares at him. Blinks those animal eyes.

Michael makes a frustrated sound in the back of his mouth. He misses Mika. He never has to talk when Mika is around.

"He is being taken care of in that shelter you put him in. I had my people check. I was being nice! Friendly too!"

"We're friends," Lewis says slowly as if he expects Michael to say no.

"Obviously. You are being ridiculous," Michael says. "You think I would kill a dog? No!" He is a little hurt.

"You are the chief suspect in fifteen open murders," Lewis says, flat.

"Not of dogs!"

Lewis looks at him for a long moment before rolling his eyes. "How are you still alive, man? For real? I thought it was a threat."

He pushes off Michael and pulls himself up onto the top bunk, as silent as he climbed down at the start.

"No one else would see this as a bad thing."

He can hear Lewis roll his eyes.

"Literally every other person here would think you were sending a message. And not a good one."

"I was being nice!"

There is a clang of metal against metal, and their cell bars rattle. "Oi! You two! Shut the fuck up. Save the fighting or fucking for the morning."

"Gross, man," Lewis says, and Michael kicks at the underside of his bunk. "You are gross."

Maybe Mika was right when he said that Lewis might not take his generosity in the way he wanted it, Michael considers. He decides not to tell him. He would be too smug if he did.

He palms the sharpened spoon that Lewis had held to his neck and left on his pillow, beside his cheek. It is small and narrow. Michael presses his thumb against the slice, feeling it. He smiles, and tucks it under his sheet. He had needed a new one.

+1.

Sebastian had been small when Michael met him. All eyes and bony knees and dirty hair.

Then he opened up his mouth and his personality crawled out.

Michael has never looked back.

[livwritesstuff]

This universe literally lives in my head rent free. I had another thought. How do the girls handle their relationships? I know as one of three daughters those dynamics change a LOT over the years, so I’m wondering how they manage their age differences and relationships over time? And how Eddie and Steve referee them?

ok so for reference:

Moe is born in july ‘01

Robbie is born november ‘03

Hazel is born september ‘06

(yes, i picked their star signs before i picked their birthdays - they are, respectively, a leo, a scorpio, and a libra)

So the age difference between Moe and Robbie is about 2 years, with ~3 years between Robbie and Hazel, and ~5 years between Moe and Hazel.

I think the general vibe of their collective dynamic really is the epitome of my sister is my best friend but also she’s the worst and I hate her. That doesn't change over time, but what does change is the way it gets expressed.

Moe was obsessed with Robbie when she was first born, and once Robbie was old enough to have her own opinions, she's equally obsessed with Moe. Robbie is definitely Moe's shadow for the first few years, and that only starts to shift when they're both in elementary school together, at which point they start to take on that quintessential love-hate-always bickering-with a tiny sprinkling of rivalry type of sibling relationship. The ebb and flow of this is one part of parenting three kids that only-children Steve and Eddie have a hard time keeping up with. There would be days when the girls were non-stop fighting, and then Steve would be like, “Moe, wanna go on a drive with me,” to, y’know, separate them for a bit, but then Moe would hit him with some major ‘tude like, “Just me? …why would we do that.”

There’s also definitely a psychological aspect to the sibling warfare that Steve and Eddie sometimes feel like they're two steps behind, so refereeing really just looks like keeping an eye on the metaphorical scoreboard (so to speak) and making sure it’s staying as even as possible (and breaking things up when it gets a bit too brutal).

Moe and Robbie circle back around to being buddies when they’re both in college – I have very very vaguely referred to how Moe and Robbie end up going to the same school, which is messy at first but it ends up being really good for them.

As for Hazel, when Steve and Eddie first introduced her as a newborn to her older sisters, Moe is basically like, “Thank you for the child. You may go,” whereas Robbie is definitely side-eying her like, “Uhhh I did not agree to this.”

That 5 year age gap between Moe and Hazel is enormous when Hazel was first born, and it continues to feel like a lot for a long time. Like, when Moe is learning how to drive, Hazel is still in elementary school, and she’s only twelve when Moe graduates high school. They spend their entire childhoods in completely different developmental brackets, and Hazel is definitely the baby to Moe while Hazel basically worships Moe and thinks she’s the coolest person on the planet. Then Hazel hits her high school years, and Moe, who's wrapping up college, is suddenly like, wait is Hazel cool? omg she’s *so* cool. That’s around when they stop feeling like they occupy totally different planets.

Because Robbie and Hazel are closer in age, their relationship looks a bit more like Robbie and Moe's. Hazel is basically just an avenue for Robbie to exert her own power in a way that Moe would never let her get away with. She’s definitely always pestering Hazel and teasing her and trying to push her buttons (and Hazel is so laid back that it really doesn’t bother her that much, which drives Robbie crazy in its own way). She’s super protective over Hazel though – both Robbie and Moe are very aware that Hazel is basically an angel, so the standard is very much *we’re* the only ones who get to mess with her.

I think Moe and Robbie might have a tendency to force Hazel to be a tie-breaker in their arguments, which is another facet of raising siblings that Steve and Eddie actually get involved in (to make sure she's not being completely steamrolled by her big sisters). Other than that, they mostly stay out of it. They've seen their kids go to battle *for* each other enough times to feel pretty confident that they'll make it through the times they're battling against each other.

[badass-queer-couples-battle]

Sword gays showdown, round 1, bracket two

Propaganda:

For Kiku:

She is almost 10 feet/3 meters tall and is a gorgeous trans woman and samurai, who is very loyal to her allies. She gets recognized as strong by the main character multiple times and proves it by being one of the most resilient badasses in the entire series. Helps break said main character out of the enemy's prison and takes part in a rebellion against the corrupt prison staff. She stands up to a tyrant who enslaved her country, said tyrant can also turn into a giant dragon. When the highest ranked sumo in the area is abusing class privilege and harassing both the townsfolks and her, she cuts his top knot off in public, effectively ending his career. Then after cutting the sumo's not knot, she uses her great acting skills to win the crowd to her side by playing the innocent maiden and being all "oh, no, what have I done?" (She knew exactly what she did >:) After her country is free, she also gets to enjoy being girly and mellow once everyone is able to relax, and everyone respects that side of her too. All of this at just 22 years of age, what a cool lady

She's a samurai who's great with a sword and she's also trans.

She is cannonically trans and is a very cool swordswoman!

Trans samurai!! Kenshi is gender neutral, but this is a swordsWOMAN

One of the most powerful samurai in her country, also a trans icon.

She’s canonically trans and awesome and pretty and she’s so tall! 🏳️‍⚧️

For Luo Binghe:

This boy not just studied the blade, he learned the blade FROM HIS CRUSH. And not only that but he actually has tons of symbolism around BOTH of the swords he wields over the course of the novel. His childhood sword gets broken when he's about to be thrown into his corruption arc, but the pieces are carefully preserved by his crush, and later he rebuilds the sword in question. Once he is fully freed from corrupting influence of his other sword, he uses this one again! It represents his inner goodness that gets broken, but is never really gone. The other is a cursed sword representing toxic masculinity that corrupts his mind and pushes him to harm himself and others. It gets destroyed in the end thru the power of gay love!

His sword is first broken symbolizing his trauma and loss of innocence when he is kicked into hell. Then his other sword, Xin Mo, which he finds in hell, represents toxic masculinity and he breaks it at the climax of the novel. It can also dimension travel and is evil.

Binghe has two different songs in this book and a complicated relationship with both of them. First there is Zhen Yang which breaks at a dramatic moment and is mourned over by his teacher/love interest "like a grieving widow". And then there's Xin Mo! His "golden finger". The most ridiculously overpowered sword in the world, it can even cut rifts in the fabric of the world. It also runs on sex and violence and drives him to madness which can only be cured by the aforementioned love interest sacrificing himself... or by sex!

[foundfamilyhq]

Welcome + Rules

Welcome to the Tumblr Found Family HQ! Here, we present your blorbos to the masses to have them vote upon whether they should be added to the collective tumblr found family or not. Submit your blorbos here:

See which blorbos have already joined the found family HERE! To avoid seeing the results posts, mute "ff results" The rules are: 1. Play nice; be respectful to others 2. Blorbos can be of any age, since a found family can be just that. So feel free to submit a one-day old infant or a ten thousand year old tree, if those are your blorbos 3. No Harry Potter (or other titles associated to this series or the author) 4. No real people (might make an exception if it's funny) 5. "No real people" includes no individual tumblr users, youtubers or streamers (this might seem obvious, but there were still a lot of them submitted) 6. No OCs. All your OCs are great and I'd feel sad if they got rejected from the found family F.A.Q. under readmore:

Q. When are submissions opening? (Pinning this one to the top, because it's by far the question we get the most) Short answer... I don't know, sorry! Long answer... Because of the way the blog is set up, it's very hard for me to figure that out. Basically, each fandom gets one poll a week, but as there are often multiple characters from some fandoms in the submissions form, it's a pain to figure out exactly how many characters are left to add new polls for when you factor out the repeat fandoms (and also, if a repeat fandom's poll would end before submissions are opened, then a new character from that fandom will be polled before submissions are opened, meaning I'd need to work that out as well). There are often about 200 characters in the submissions form, so you can understand this is too much for me to figure out manually, especially since I'm a full-time shift worker, so my schedule doesn't give me a lot of free time. I don't even like to give a ball park estimate to this question, because with being a shift worker, if I have to do a lot of extra work at short notice and can't meet when I said I'd open submissions, I feel like I'e let you all down and that feeling sucks However, when I do open submissions I try to vary it so that one round will be open at roughly 7-10am GMT and the next round will be open at roughly 7-10pm GMT, to try to catch as many people possible. I know that's not ideal for everyone and people have expressed disapointment about this in the past, but those are all the hours I'm able to give :(

Q. How does this work? A. A post featuring a blorbo shall be made, stating who they are and their source material. A poll will be attached set to one week, asking if the blorbo should join the tumblr found family. At the end of the week, based on the result, I will announce if the blorbo has joined or not Q. What is a found family? A. A found family is a family you find for yourself. It is a term often used in fandom to describe a group of characters who aren't related by blood (although a few members might be) but have come to think of each other as a family through circumstance. Alternatively, they might not be officially recognised as a found family in canon, but wider fanon regards them as such Q. Is this a tournament bracket? A. Nope, blorbos aren't competing against each other, they're only here to be judged by you. We are here enternally submitting blorbos (at least until I run out of steam or pass away lol) Q. I'm not sure if my blorbo counts because of ___ reason? A. If it's not any of the reasons mentioned in the rules, then feel free to send an ask. Or just submit them anyway and I'll decide Q. I submitted a blorbo and they haven't been posted. Did you get them? A. Again, feel free to send an ask. I don't have a regular schedule for posting these. Somedays there'll be batches of polls, others there'll be one or none Q. My blorbos are a duo/trio/etc., who cannot be separated. Can I submit them as a group? A. While I would prefer to stick to individual characters, if you have some who absolutely cannot be separated, I might make exceptions. Most likely, I'll make a poll asking if they should be judged as a group or individually, since there's a lot of media I won't be familiar with Q. My blorbo didn't get voted into the found family! Fuck you! A. Friend, as a fan of Theseus from Hades Game, I understand what it's like to have your fave hated by fandom. Anything decided on this blog can never affect your personal headcanons, so go in peace with your middle finger held high Q. What are your icon and header? A. The icon is of the Pokemon Bouffalant and Natu, based on a series of trading card art where Bouffalant finds two Natu and rescues them - the true spirit of found family. The header is a group of characters called the Black Ravens from the Professor Layton series - a group of ragtag working-class kids who make a black market together Q. I wrote some propaganda on the submission form, can you post it or send it back to me? A. Submissions are deleted as the polls are posted, so I can keep track of how many I have left to post, which means I can't do this. Please save your propaganda for the post and not the submissions form Q. Did you know you used fan art on ___ poll? A. Unless I'd mentioned getting permission from the artist, then please assume that I did not know and let me know. I hate art theft and wouldn't want to partake in that, but I'm just not familiar with a good 80% of the series submitted, so sometimes it might slip through the cracks Q. Can I submit a character who isn't my blorbo? A. Also fine! I enjoy it when people submit controversial characters to see how they'll do Q. What happens if there's a tie? A. The blorbo in question becomes an occassional family member who appears with our found family for some important cutscenes, but isn't officially considered part of the found family

Q. No, but seriously, my blorbo got ditched. Do they get another chance? A. At the beginning of each year we host a Redemption Event, where any past blorbos who were submitted get another chance. Because of the high volume of ditched characters, to be included in the event, your character will need to be submitted with propaganda via a form that will be released about a month before the event Q. I think the image used is a big reason why my blorbo got ditched. Why did you use that image? A. If an image hasn't been submitted, I will just grab one from an image search result in most cases. You know your blorbos best, so if you have a specific (non-fan art) image that you think shows them in their best light, please do submit it when you submit them Q. Did you mean the book version or movie version of that character? A. Whichever version of the blorbo that gets submitted, that'll be the one I use. If no specific version is mentioned, I'll just post that blorbo in general and use whatever image is most common when I look them up, unless an image has been submitted or a book cover has been requested to be used Q. My blorbo is a character played by a youtuber and/or streamer, not the youtuber or streamer themselves, is that okay? A. If it's a character, then it's fine. But please mention this on the submission. Because if I look them up and the result looks to be just some real person, that won't be included. I am largely unfamiliar with these kind of fandoms and will always err on the side of caution about their inclusion Q. What counts as a "sweep"? A. Any character who gets 90% or higher in either joining or not joining is counted as a sweep. This doesn't give them anything extra, it's just for bragging rights Q. What counts as a "close call"? A. Any character who's poll results are within the 49%-51% range for join/don't join is counted as a close call Q. How many characters can I submit at a time? A. There's no hard rule, since the form doesn't track emails, but please be considerate to others and try not to submit more than 10 characters per submission period. See next question for more details Q. How many characters from the same series can I submit at a time? A. Four (4) characters per series per submission period. I'll be lenient for if they've been submitted by multiple people, but from my experience running this blog, it's only the current Hot New Thing that'll be submitted by multiple people and anything else is usually one person submitting one character after another. I used to allow more, but people took this for granted and submitted 50+ from the same series, so now 4 is the cap Q. You missed a tag from that poll! Can it be added? A. Sure! Tags are either provided by the submitter or where left blank, I'll use my best guess. At minimum, you'll get the name of the character and series as they've been submitted. If you know more, let me know and I'll add them to the post during the voting period. Please note: The polls themselves cannot be edited after being posted, only the tags Q. Can fictional characters based on real people be submitted? A. Fictional characters that are inspired by real people (e.g. Steven Universe being inspired by Rebecca Sugar's brother) are generally fine. But characters that are basically just some real celebrity making a cameo somewhere (e.g. Simon Cowell appearing on the Simpsons), are a no. Q. I don't understand what this blog is A. Don't worry about it, friend. Just keep driving and whatever you do, don't wind down the window. We'll be safe soon :) Q. Didn't this blog used to be called the Found Family Adoption Agency? A. It did, but I were made aware that the language used on the blog could be seen as potentially harmful to real life adoptees, so I changed the name of the blog and made some edits to try to avoid using such language. Posts made prior to 5th May 2024 will still contain references to adopt/ditching, so tread with caution on older posts

[greenerteacups]

Hi! Just wanted to say the latest chapter is lovely & amazing & sweet & had me smiling the whole time! I absolutely love your characterisation of everyone, especially Draco, so it was so so lovely to return to this world & to his thoughts!! with his best friend and crush at malfoy manor no less! All the yearning is already off to a great start hehe I am so excited for the rest of book 5!

Wanted to ask you how has it been for you to write this new book and volume? Has your writing process changed since when you’d first begun taking on a long form project like this?

& also are there any moments or surprises in this book that you’re especially excited about?

sending so much love & gratitude for you and your incredible works 💓

Thank you so much! This is really encouraging, I so appreciate it.

Inasmuch as I can use this metaphor without having kids myself, I sort of see each of the books as a different child. The first one flew out in basically a few weeks of very intensive writing, and it was a total dream — plot, pacing, symbolism, major beats, all fell into place basically without effort. The character stuff was the hardest, as I've written about before, but even then, the glorious part of writing beginnings is it's the most energy you'll ever have for a project, so the lows were pretty soft lows. Book 2, in contrast, I had to drag kicking and screaming by its ankle from under the bottommost mattress of my brain. It's one of my least favorite books (tone problem; COS has killer plot/setting/ingredients for a YA novel, but it's stuck in the doldrums of Harry Potter's well-documented Early-Installment Weirdness, before Cedric Diggory slams the gas and upshifts the whole series into its correct age bracket). More specifically, once I'd gone through and picked out everything in the book that happened because of Lucius, I didn't have a plot — hey alexa how do you rewrite Chamber of Secrets when We Got No Fucking Chamber Of Secrets — and oh by the way, even if you want to do a moody tone/political setup book, remember that your protagonists are still twelve, so if you go too dark or too intense, you'll risk torpedoing your readers' suspension of disbelief. Good luck, Charlie.

Book 3 felt the most like its own novel, if that makes sense? It's the last truly feel-good book of the series; it's a great stand-alone mystery novel with relatively low stakes. Plus you get a bunch of the big series icons: patronuses, dementors, werewolves, Hogsmeade, the Marauders' Map, and time turners arithmancy. It just felt like a good old-fashioned motherfucking romp of a mystery/adventure story, before any of the complex character work and major stakes of the late books come in.

Book 4 was the most fun I've had writing anything maybe ever. I don't even know what it was. Maybe the tournament arc, honestly? Love me a tournament arc. But in any case, I opened every new chapter feeling a tingle of excitement for what I was gonna get to do. Oh, and the romance started, finally, Jesus God (if it feels like a slow burn reading, just imagine what it felt like writing it, when everything takes ten times as long, and you have to figure out how to word the fucker.)

Book 5, in contrast, has felt much less like that tingle of "here we go!" and more like "oh, man, this is gonna be cool." Because this is the arc of the story that composed the original idea for Lionheart, literally years ago, and to be honest, I didn't think I'd get this far! If you'd asked me "do you know that it's going to take you 500,000 words of backstory before you can start writing that concept you're thinking about, and you're going to do it anyway?" I would have said: "absolutely not, strange mind-reader!" But like... I'm here! Finally! And it's... real now? Like, this isn't just a bunch of clips of scenes in my head anymore! That's rad!

That being said, it's definitely been slower than Book 4, because I kept switching back to my outline document to make sure that certain things were set up properly, and that I hadn't lost any of the plot threads or forgotten a minor beat that was vitally important for the story three chapters later. And I had a minor crisis about three months ago when I ripped out about 8 chapters in the first third of the book — basically everything from September to December — because I'd done a readthrough to check pacing (big mistake! never edit while drafting, that's satan talking) and realized I had a missing storyline. Like, there was a whole layer of the story that was just. Missing. Not there. And the existing text really couldn't fit another thread, so instead of taking weeks to pore through and try to sift out what I could save, I needed to factory reset and start over. And I didn't want to! I vividly remember sitting there with my head in my hands, trying not to weep, because I'd decimated 90,000 words of work in a single edit. But it had to be done. Because the story wasn't going to work. And now (hopefully) it will.

And of course, there's still that sense of excitement and exhilaration from before. Always. But whereas Book 4 felt like a delicious chocolate pudding, Book 5 is a medium-rare steak.

(Book 6, so far, is four shots of espresso and a whiskey chaser. FWIW.)

[sflow-er]

YR Season 3 speculations: a layperson’s take on the criminal justice side

I’ve been considering making this kind of post for a while, because I’ve seen a lot of hopeful takes on how things are going to play out now that Sara has called the police, and I feel like I could add some perspective for those less familiar with the Swedish justice system. I hesitate to do it because I’m just a layperson and not even from Sweden but the next country over - but our justice systems are reasonably similar, I’ve spent a lot of time poring over relevant sources on Swedish law and justice, and @scatteredpiecesofme encouraged me to do this after our conversation yesterday.

So, here goes, haha.

As usual, I could very well be wrong about some things, and I welcome any additions or corrections!

Part 1: The system

Let’s start with a cultural observation: the criminal justice system in Sweden strives to be rehabilitative (restorative) instead of strictly punitive (retributive). This is especially true for young and first-time offenders, who are yet to develop a ‘criminal lifestyle.’ Fines, suspended sentences, and sentences on the lower end of the scale are the norm unless the crime is very serious. (See for example this text in Swedish about how the brain only fully matures at 25 and how young people experience punishments more severely.)

Swedish law recognises three different age brackets for offenders: 15 to 18, 18 to 21, and over 21 (adult). The punishments for young adults were harshened in Jan 2022 for some severe crimes (mostly to counter gang violence), but YR is set in the autumn of 2020 and spring of 2021. With that in mind, let’s review the situation that should apply in the show.

Firstly, the now-outdated law and practice include something known as ungdomsrabatt (juvenile discount). Any sentence given to an 18-year-old is normally reduced to 50% of an adult’s sentence, and a sentence given to a 16-year-old is reduced further so they get about 20-25% of an adult’s sentence. This can either mean a reduced version of the same sentence, or an alternative, more lenient sentence. Punishment can also be waived entirely for juveniles sentenced to minimal fines for minor offences (e.g. minor narcotics offences).

Secondly, there are some punishments specifically designed for young offenders. Ungdomstjänst (youth community service) and ungdomsvård (youth/juvenile care) mostly apply to those under 18 but can also apply to those under 21 where appropriate. The latter is for those in need of social service intervention; it’s an open arrangement where the juvenile continues living at home. Sluten ungdomsvård (institutional youth care) only comes into play in very serious cases. It’s the primary punishment for minors who would otherwise face imprisonment and, under the old law, also for those under 21, unless there are very heavy grounds for prison time.

There is also something called ungdomsövervakning (youth supervision); basically youth care with more restrictions. However, it was only introduced in Jan 2021, which means it cannot be applied to crimes committed earlier (for example in YR S1).

As mentioned, juveniles can also be sentenced to reduced versions of the same punishments as adults. For young adults, that most likely means a suspended sentence and/or community service and/or fines. These fines are often dagsböter (day-fines), which can range from 50 to 1000 kronor based on the defendant’s income, wealth, and debts for example. The minimum number is 30 fines, the maximum is 150, or 200 for several crimes. There can also be some other financial consequences, e.g. a 1000-krona payment to the Crime Victim Fund or compensation for the victim (these are much lower sums than in the US, for example).

Here’s a made-up example from Domarbloggen: three people aged 16, 18 and 22 beat someone up together. The 22-yo gets 4 months’ imprisonment, which means the 18-yo should get 2 months. Instead, she gets a suspended sentence and 75 hours of community service. The 16-yo should get 1 month, but that is commuted to 50 hours of youth community service. Social services are (and must be) involved for the 16 and 18-yo but find that they are not in need of any services.

Thirdly, juveniles are processed differently from adults. If someone younger than 21 is suspected of a crime, the police investigation that starts when the crime comes to light must be conducted without delay. For those under 18, there’s a time limit of 6 weeks from the initial police report to the decision to prosecute. In many cases, the prosecutor can simply decide not to bring charges and hand the matter over to social services instead. (See for example this Q&A document on the old law, in English.) 

Young offenders are also often eligible for förundersökningsbegränsning (limitation of preliminary investigation) and åtalsunderlåtelse (no-prosecution deal). In the former, the police and prosecutor decide not to investigate the crime, and in the latter, the suspect confesses their guilt to avoid being charged or tried for that particular crime. There are specific circumstances in which these can come into play - for example, when there are several crimes being investigated/charged and the crime in question would not affect the sentencing, or the sentence would be minor anyway. Here’s more info on the reasoning in Swedish, but it’s basically done to save resources for other crimes. The sentence for all the crimes committed is determined as a whole; it does not necessarily match the sum total of all the individual sentences. Accepting a deal means the crime will still go on the person’s criminal record.

If sufficient evidence is found and the matter does go to trial, the court can decide to hold it behind closed doors if the parties are young and/or to protect them from negative publicity. The judge must also be specialised in juvenile cases if the defendant is under 18.

Trials in this corner of the world are usually rather boring compared to what you see on TV. There’s no jury or heated cross-examination. The facts are presented, the injured party, defendant, and witnesses are heard, and the court considers the case. (Here’s a detailed description and even a 24-minute film in Swedish.) 

The bar for detaining young offenders before and after the trial is higher than for adults, but it can happen if they are considered dangerous or there’s a risk of them destroying evidence/influencing the witnesses (for minors, the social services usually watches over them instead). There is no bail system.

Oh, and if someone is sentenced to prison after all, they are not necessarily taken away directly after the trial. Serving the sentence may be postponed until the period of appeal runs out (often 3 months after the sentence enters into force, according to the Prison and Probation Service).

So, now that we know the framework, let’s take a look at the crimes that could come into light in YR S3! Not just those committed by August, but also those committed by Simon and Wilhelm.

Part 2: The crimes committed by the mains in YR

All excerpts quoted are from an English translation of the Swedish Criminal Code. I will include some of my own interpretations in the context of the show - but while reading those, please keep in mind that I’m just a layperson and could well be completely mistaken!

Kränkande fotografering (intrusive photography): August

A person who unlawfully, by means of a technical device, covertly records an image of a person who is indoors in a home, or in a toilet, dressing room or other similar space, is guilty of intrusive photography (Swedish Criminal Code, Chapter 4, Section 6a)

Scale of punishment for adults: fines or prison up to 2 years.

I don’t think this should be very hard to prove now that Wille has admitted to being on the video. August could of course claim it was someone else using his phone, but I think it should definitely be someone other than Alexander, who had already been caught with the drugs.

Olaga integritetsintrång (unlawful breach of privacy): August

A person who intrudes into the private life of another person by disseminating: 1. an image of or other information about a person’s sexual life; (...) 4. an image of a person in a very vulnerable situation; or 5. an image of a person’s wholly or partially naked body is, if the dissemination is liable to result in serious damage to the person whom the image or information concerns, guilty of unlawful breach of privacy (Swedish Criminal Code, Chapter 4, Section 6c)

Scale of punishment for adults: fines or prison up to 2 years for normal severity, prison from 6 months to 4 years for gross offences.

This is the revenge porn clause. In reality, sadly few cases lead to a conviction; for example in 2021, only 27 out of 1876 cases. The perpetrator can always claim their device/account was hacked, for example, and it’s hard to disprove that. We’ll see if Sara’s testimony and August having admitted his guilt to Wilhelm are enough.

Förtal (defamation): August

A person who identifies someone as being a criminal or as having a reprehensible way of life, or otherwise provides information liable to expose that person to the contempt of others is guilty of defamation (Swedish Criminal Code, Chapter 5, Section 1)

Scale of punishment for adults: fines for normal severity, fines or prison up to 2 years for gross offences.

Note that defamation does not have to be untrue in Sweden! It’s the ‘exposing that person to contempt’ that matters. However, if the defendant can show that the information was true and they were a) obliged to make this kind of statement or b) it was “otherwise justifiable to provide information about the matter”, they are not held responsible. August’s lawyer would probably argue that spreading the video of Wille was a matter of national importance.

A note on aggravating or special circumstances:

Both unlawful invasion of privacy and defamation can be considered gross if the information or image or the method of dissemination was liable to result in serious damage. This bumps up the potential consequences.

Normally, charges can only be brought for the above crimes by the injured party. However, the prosecutor could also choose to bring charges on their own in cases where public interest calls for it. The same goes for defamation if the injured party is under 18 or reports the crime in connection with another investigation, and public interest calls for prosecution. In this case, it doesn’t matter if the injured party wants the case to be pursued or not. So in my view, any potential resolution where Simon and/or Wille decide not to pursue these crimes should be written very carefully to exclude public prosecution.

There’s also another interesting angle that I haven’t seen thrown around much. It was first brought to my attention by a friend on ao3, and I can’t believe it’s still a thing in 21st century Sweden, but it is.

Högmålsbrott (treasonable offences): August

A person who commits an offence referred to in Chapters 3–5 that involves abuse of the King or another member of the Royal House, or of a person discharging the duties of the Head of State as regent, may be sentenced to imprisonment for at most four years if the offence can otherwise result in imprisonment for at most six months, and for at most six years if the offence can otherwise result in imprisonment for more than six months but at most four years. (Swedish Criminal Code, Chapter 18, Section 2)

Yes, really. Wille being one of the injured parties could complicate things for August when it comes to the above crimes, because they belong to chapters 4 & 5. He’s not actually going to get six years in prison for gross defamation, that’s just the maximum for adults, but it’s an interesting angle and a potential aggravating factor.

Next up, the elephant in the room.

CP: August

I don’t think I need to describe what this means; you can look it up in Chapter 16, Sections 10a and 10b. I’m not going to write it out so this post doesn’t get flagged.

Scale of punishment for adults: fines or prison up to 6 months for minor offences. Prison up to 2 years for normal severity.

Rickard did say that this could land August in prison, but I am highly sceptical. For comparison, consider this case, where an 18-yo who had 540 images in his possession, 98 of those particularly graphic, was only sentenced to 60 hours of youth community service, despite having disseminated some material on social media on two occasions. Or this one, where an 18-yo who was in possession of a video sent to him via SnapChat for a few months, was sentenced to 45 hours of the same - although he was 17 at the time of the crime.

August was 18, but on the other hand, the video he made and disseminated was short, not very graphic, and meant to defame the people in it rather than arouse those who view it. By law, the age and developmental gap between the victim(s) and perpetrator must also be taken into consideration, and as we know, it’s only two years. I’m inclined to think August is only looking at a minor offence - if charges are even brought at all.

So, the fandom should probably prepare for a more lenient sentence than many are hoping for! Ironically enough, the opposite is true for the next crime, which also applies to Simon and, to a lesser degree, Wille.

Narkotikabrott (narcotics offence): August, Simon, Wilhelm

Any person who unlawfully 1. transfers narcotics, 2. manufactures narcotics intended for misuse, 3. acquires narcotics for the purpose of transfer, 4. procures, processes, packages, transports, keeps or in some other similar way handles narcotics which are not intended for personal use, 5. offers narcotics for sale, keeps or conveys payment for narcotics, mediates contacts between seller and purchaser or takes any other such measure, if the procedure is designed to promote narcotics traffic, or 6. possesses, uses or otherwise handles narcotics shall, if he has acted wilfully, be sentenced for a narcotic drug offence (Penal Law on Narcotics, Section 1)

Scale of punishment for adults: prison up to 3 years for normal severity. Fines or prison up to 6 months for minor offences.

Swedish law is strict on narcotics crimes. Both Simon and August are guilty of several of the above, while Wille is only guilty of use. Wille’s offence would be considered minor, and the punishment might even be waived. However, I think it’s quite likely Simon and August might be looking at normal severity, and Rickard would probably advise August against bringing it up just to spite Simon.

If August went against that advice or the matter came out another way, he would probably get a harsher sentence than Simon on account of his age - although he could provide mitigating circumstances for the selling by saying that Simon coerced him...

In any case, Simon wouldn’t get off with a slap on the wrist either. He sold drugs on two separate occasions - ADHD drugs (which are amphetamine derivatives) and possibly also strong painkillers. Micke’s back pain was specifically mentioned in S1, we saw Simon steal Tramadol (which is an opioid) when he first got pills for August, and there was clearly more in that bag than just the ADHD meds. Amphetamine derivatives and opioids are specifically classified as narcotic drugs due to their potential for misuse, even if the drugs in question (Tramadol and lisdexamfetamine) aren’t as bad as some others.

Furthermore, Simon also committed:

Stöld (theft): Simon

Pretty self-explanatory. Chapter 8, Section 1 of the Criminal Code.

Scale of punishment for adults: fines or prison up to 6 months for minor offences, prison up to 2 years for normal severity, prison from 6 months to 6 years for gross offences.

It’s hard to say what the severity would be. On the one hand, it was just a few boxes and bottles of pills, and the value of the stolen goods should generally be over 1000 kronor to even be considered normal severity (case from 2009). On the other hand, committing theft as part of “criminal activities conducted systematically” is an aggravating circumstance. But I think the prosecutor would be lenient with a 16-yo like Simon and just focus on the narcotics crime (åtalsunderlåtelse for the theft).

Let’s proceed to the last crime, which is something I haven’t really seen a lot of people mention.

Olaga hot (unlawful threat): Wilhelm

A person who threatens another person with a criminal act in a manner that is liable to occasion serious fear in the person threatened for the safety of their own or someone else’s person, property, liberty or peace is guilty of making an unlawful threat (Swedish Criminal Code, Chapter 4, Section 5)

Scale of punishment for adults: prison from 9 months to 4 years for gross offences. Fines or prison up to 1 year for normal severity.

It’s highly unlikely that Wille’s shotgun waving would come out unless someone accidentally let it slip when questioned about the other offences. So the risk is slim, but I think it still deserves to be included, because an unlawful threat usually becomes a gross offence when a weapon is used. It’s also a publically prosecutable offence, which means August wouldn’t have the power to drop the charges. Note that the ‘treasonable offences’ clause doesn’t apply, because August has not officially been appointed as next in line by Parliament.

Like I said, I don’t think there’s any reason for August to sour his relationship with the Crown by dropping Wilhelm in it. I just wanted to include the threat to be thorough and show how much of a mess this could theoretically become.

Phew, that’s all of them! Thank you so much for reading all this way!

I guess the main point I wanted to make with this marathon post was that I really, really hope the criminal justice side is handled realistically in S3 now that a police investigation probably can’t be avoided. We shouldn’t expect anyone to be locked up with the key thrown away, due to the young age of everyone involved and the leniency built into the system. Also, the severest consequences could well come from the crimes that don’t sound as serious on the surface, such as the drug stuff - and Wille being one of the injured parties. (Or the potentially gross unlawful threat, but I doubt that’s going to come out.)

I’m intrigued to see what Lisa and co have in store for us, because they have a very real chance to highlight some interesting questions here.

Which (if any) of the potential crimes will August, who can liquidate enough money to pay for a great legal team, actually get punished for? Will he get off with fines and maybe some youth community service? Will the Alexander defence actually work when it really shouldn’t? Will social services get involved and maybe make August get some help for his issues? How will his social standing be affected when people learn it was him behind the video? Will the consequences finally teach him some accountability (which he definitely hasn’t learned growing up; see my analysis post about his upbringing and background)?

How about Simon? Can he avoid getting harshly punished for his dealing? How will social services treat him and his family if they get involved? Will his future and education be affected? Will he feel victimised again when the video matter is investigated (which could involve more publicity due to Wille’s involvement)? Could Micke try to claim he forced Simon to carry the drugs and sell them, to provide mitigating circumstances (and would Simon let his estranged dad risk imprisonment for him)?

And finally, is it fair that Wille being one of the injured parties could make the crimes more severe and extract “more justice”? Even though Simon was the one who couldn’t just deny being on the video to escape the negative consequences?

We shall see.

[hotvintagepoll]

Peter Lorre (The Maltese Falcon, Arsenic and Old Lace, Casablanca)—to me he DEFINES scrungle hes the first person i think of every time the term comes up! i want to fold him up like a paper accordion and put him in my pocket. guy that spawned a million voice artists and impersonators. they made a ghost version of him for halloween cereal staple boo berry. bewitched by his nervous mania and tooth gap <3 (for the purposes of propaganda im linking a photo from his extremely short appearance in muscle beach party bc ive been obsessed w it for years and i couldnt find any video for it :/ anyway imagine youre frankie avalon spending the whole movie battling a bodybuilder faction thats taking over your beach and your girl and then you find out this fucking guy is their mastermind mystery leader and hes stronger than all the bodybuilders combined. like Huh. What.)

Tony Randall (Lover Come Back, Pillow Talk)—he's SO TIRED he's three-wheeling ALL THE TIME on rock and doris's shenanigans and he is always SMALL. PATHETIC. INHERENTLY FILLED WITH ENNUI. i feel like all these 60s comedies are very Straight Laced and Heterosexual and yet somehow tony randall is always there having the worst day ever.

This is round 1 of the contest. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. If you're confused on what a scrungle is, or any of the rules of the contest, click here.

[additional submitted propaganda + scrungly videos under the cut]

Peter Lorre

he's pretty much the archetype of the scrungly little guy. the blueprint. the example by which all other scrungly little guys are judged

The perfect sniveling character actor, “scrungly” is the first word that comes to mind when I think of him.

The entire point of his iconic role in Casablanca (apart from introducing the central plot mcguffin) was to be LITTLE and SCRUNGLY to make Bogie look even cooler. And Maggot in Corpse Bride - the littlest scrungliest guy in that film - was a parody of him.

I think Arsenic and Old Lace is his quintessential "scrungly" performance. He's so put-upon and tired...all he wants is sleep and some schnapps! I love the way his shoulders fall slowly when he thinks he's caught (he looks like a sad puppy!), only to gleefully sprint out the door when he realizes how dumb those police officers are.

Between his big eyes, wheezy laugh, short stature, and expressive faces, Peter Lorre achieved icon status as the scrungliest, littlest guy in Hollywood. His scrungly little guy energy was often contrasted with the more typical masculinity of the leading man, but whether this contrast was meant to make him seem especially sinister, comedic, or pathetic, it always left an unforgettable impression!

I'm sure somebody else has already submitted him (if not then ???) but he's a cute kind of scrungly little guy. He's got a distinctive nasal voice with an accent that is instantly recognizable and often imitated. His later horror movies are so much fun, especially when he's playing off of Vincent Price. He's so good at being unhinged, creepy, or manic, but also pathetic and sympathetic.

Classic scrungly hollywood golden age little guy who was friends with Humphrey Bogart and still played some of the wettest most sniveling characters ever committed to celluloid (complimentary) there is a deep despair and darkness in many of his characters that enhances his scrungly

To be clear, I am one of those people who will argue that Lorre is one of the most underrated film actors, but the POINT is that he's also just a scrungly delight. A delightfully pocket-sized man. Somehow endearing even when he is being actively amoral (see esp. Casablanca. "I found myself much more reasonable!") The faces he makes while doing the Russian cossack dance with a butter knife between his teeth in Silk Stockings make me laugh just thinking about them.

Wikipedia described his typical characters as "timidly devious", lots of weird little villains and evil sidekicks that are pretty horrifying but still manage to be sort of pathetic and the very definition of "poor little meow meow". His look and voice and mannerisms are so iconic they're still imitated

Cartoons for the next century have and will continue to include Peter Lorre-esque characters when needed to up the scrunge factor (see Bugs Bunny and so many more).

[editor's note on below link: I'm not actually sure how many of these characters are directly influenced by Peter Lorre, so take with a grain of salt. tw for suicide.]

The poster boy for Scrungly. Everyone who wants to draw a scrungly guy draws Peter Lorre. Gomez Addams of The Addams Family was based on him

Tony Randall

"you had everything going for you! poverty!! squalor!!!!" "girls again!!! what's this obSESSion you have with giRLS???"

[platonic-pals-punchout]

Epithet Erased (webshow & lite novel) | Ace Attorney (video game series & anime)

[This poll was made by silly mistake on the part of the tournament runner, who misread the bracket. Sorry! It won't count towards the overall tournament. Followers have voted to make Gio/Molly PPP's mascots if they win tho!]

Giovanni Potage & Molly Blyndeff:

1. THEY’RE SO SILLYYYYYYY i love them. they’re such a prime example of friendship with an age gap in media, which, i think needs to happen a bit more. i have friends older than me! i have friends younger than me! and also they’re just. goofy. silly 2. Would any friendship bracket truly be complete without this dynamic duo? She’s a serious an disillusioned elementary school student, resigned to her miserable lot in life after years of neglect and doing her family’s taxes. He’s a wacky and optimistic teenager turned supervillain, here to sweep her away from her abusive family. Together, they commit CRIMES! 3. She is an anxious child who has the power to dumb down noises or impacts to help her deal with the literal everything in her life, as she has to balance school and her family’s toy store, especially as her father and sister seem to prioritize their own selves and not care about the family as a whole. Molly is like 11 or something and has to do her family’s taxes! He is a villainous mastermind!…well, he says he is. In actuality, Giovanni is a captain in the Bonzai Blasters, with ambitions of being promoted to Vice Principal…or even Associate Justice or Valedictorian! (Yes. This is how that system is organized) But unlike the rest, he prioritizes the wellbeing of his minions above all else. He’s comfortable with his masculinity, as he knits for his minions and packs them all some soup in case they get hungry. Oh! He also has the power of soup. He can make soup, make steam of soup, and every 13th physical hit from him deals critical damage (that has nothing to do with soup. It’s just what he does). After a heist gone wrong, these two meet, and Giovanni adopts Molly as one of his minions (giving her the minion name “Beartrap”, on account of her bear hoodie. She likes bears). Together, they thwart/do a heist and steal a valuable amulet. Giovanni also distances Molly from the Banzais when the cops show up, so she will not have to worry about legal troubles. Not spoiling much about the book (Prison of Plastic, go read it), but Giovanni continues to stand up for Molly against her family, who continues to write her off. He tries to get her sister to connect with her and soften up. He can’t do much with the dad because he sucks. Giovanni makes sure Molly knows how cool she is as a person and that she doesn’t let herself be walked all over by other people. He helps her stand up for herself, and in turn, she helps him with crime.

Maya Fey & Phoenix Wright:

1. Quite frankly I don’t think they will win. They are constantly being tormented and experiencing the horrors and this poll would be no different. 2. they literally cannot die no matter what hell canon puts them through. fall off that bridge n cliff to a deathly boy! get kidnapped like 4 times girl! when she gets kidnapped like the first time, they had to make a new sprite for Phoenix coz he didn’t look devasted and depressed enough. Power of friendship though! and she is OKI! :) 3. The most iconic attorney and assistant pair in the series. Phoenix canonically ran onto a burning bridge to try to save Maya when she was in danger. His call with her got cut off once and he left the country to go make sure she was safe. She’s been kidnapped twice to be used as leverage against him and both times she was more worried about him than herself. She once jumped in front of a taser to try to protect him. He’s also defended her from murder accusations like four times. Their relationship defines the original game trilogy even more than the Wright-Edgeworth relationship does. Other Ace Attorney games wish they could replicate this dynamic. They got added to a fighting game as a single unit where they work together to fight. They both think they’re the reasonable one in this friendship, despite neither of them actually deserving that title.

Note: This blog is run & followed by aromantics. Insisting any pairs are ~actually romantic~ will not only cause you to be blocked on the spot, but you’ll out yourself as someone not safe to be queer around. No one wants to hear how stupid you look with those shipping goggles on.

[bright-and-burning]

I am really intrigued by how your writing process sounds. Do you like write summaries in an outline and then replace each scene summary with the actual scene?

DJFLADJLAD paging @foggieststars and @userkritaaay for this one (they are both equally horrified by how i write). basically... it is not that simple. im afraid.

i actually have been doing some funky stuff w storing my current wip specifically so i can explain my writing process better (i feel like having examples is helpful bc uh. my process is genuinely a little incomprehensible.)

i rambled a lot here w lots of spoiler free examples (equally, if anyone is looking for any little snippets from this wip, there's some below lol). and im not actually sure this explanation makes any sense. tldr the answer is ehhh kind of? but with more steps in between?

everything starts in my notes app, cuz it's easily cross-accessible on my phone and my laptop. sometimes it's like, a sentence or two of what i call Real Prose (final product type stuff), sometimes it's like, a rambling paragraph describing a concept like i would if i was texting a friend (sometimes this is literal in that i copy paste text convos in if i think i'll do something w it). i'll call this stage 0.

current wip (sci fi fantasy au aka the light between lines, which started in the notes app as just the words "xmen meets shadow and bone. or something" (and stayed that way for ages)) technically began as voice messages to @mecachrome while heating up leftovers. back in. i wanna say may.

anyways. it starts small, and the next stage (stage 1, i guess?) is this weird mix of rambling and Real Prose. an example:

this one is especially funky bc its part Very Vague timeline (i cut off earlier bits that spoil things but it stretches back several years more), part sketchy rambling, part Real Prose.

so now i have this like, rambling outline. kind of. it's like if i was on the phone w a friend explaining the idea, and every so often i'd be like WAIT THIS IS SUCH A GOOD LINE. and then there's a real line. [i use brackets as signals of things switching back and forth between modes. easy to search up, not really used in regular prose, etc]

for this wip, i then copied everything into my word processor of choice, so i wouldn't lose the evidence of the rambling outline. lol. although i did it slightly late, so there's already some transition to the next stage.

then i go through in order, and fill it in. here's a bit from my notes app, it's very "telling a story to a friend" (this is stage 1 still):

here's that same bit at the bottom of my word doc (aka stage 2 except normally i replace it/write over it in place in the doc. i've been saving it all instead of replacing it for this exact reason). i've elaborated now. they're in a locker room, now. lando's kitting up. need to hit on this emotional beat, need to have this reference to oscar in the scene prior being sleepy, need to have this lore explained, and then there's action. but there's still a Lot to fill in, obviously. oscar has to kit up. are they talking the whole time? what's lando doing in the gaps of silence if they aren't. and then the entire training mission. lol. [some bits of my notes are already at this stage or beyond so i dont have to do anything i just scroll past, and some bits are literally like "lando is mad. oscar is mad. they shout" and i have to do the heavy lifting here]

this ^ then becomes 1069 words. 305 of which come from the words between "lando's" to "babies," and 764 of which come from "they go out on a training mission and it doesn't go tits up." here's the beginning of that (this is more like stage 4, if im honest.):

NORMALLY. there are brackets all over the place still, at this stage. this scene just came easier than normal lmao. but this is what it would normally look like in uhhh stage 3:

it's very... in conversation with myself. does nerve make more sense for lando to use than audacity? does dirtier than he started sound better than dirty again? idk i'll figure that out later. the moment i feel stuck i move on. immediately. otherwise i would go MAD like, 60 words into a wip trying to come up a perfect word. that is a sticky problem for AFTER i've done the majority of the work, so that way i don't just give up completely early in the process.

i didn't know how to phrase jenson's attempt at making oscar not mad so i just put down the gist and kept it pushing. i know i want lando to have some kind of snarky thought about it being hard on oscar but i couldn't figure out how to phrase it right. so i got down the core elements and kept moving. etc etc etc.

the transition from stage 2 to stage 3 is where i really use brackets and lowercase to differentiate. for some reason, my brain gets less... fussy. when i write in all lowercase. cuz it knows it's not going out like that, so it can be less perfect. so sometimes there's a stage 2.5 that's like a full scene but it's all lowercase to ease the pressure. and then i'll go back thru and capitalize.

the doc rn has. 7.7k of words. 4.1k of those words are at like, stage 3 and beyond. there might be a couple transition bits in there that are entirely in brackets and therefore are really like. stage 2.5. if that. there's a couple scenes with no brackets whatsoever aka stage 4. there's 1k straight of action where the only brackets are around my vocab choices for the vehicle they drive. the remaining 3.6k is somewhere between stage 1 and stage 2 (mostly stage 2 tho. probably averaging at stage 1.9)

i don't go from stage 1 to stage 2 to stage 3 for the whole document in order. to be clear. im not on draft 3 rn! it's not, oh everything is stage 2, and then slowly everything becomes stage 3, and then slowly everything becomes stage 4. i dont write in order!! and also the stages aren't rigid lmfao it's all slow evolution

to go from stage 2 to 3 isn't like, i sit and look at a scene summary and work on that same scene until it is mostly prose w a couple clarifying brackets. it's like, i come across a scene summary/stage 2 chunk. i start writing. i get a little stuck, i leave the line of scene summary for the bit im stuck on and move to the next line. sometimes i cant get it into prose at all but i can elaborate more on the scene summary, so it's a little more detailed than it was before. sometimes i get a lot stuck, and i can't visualize anything at all. ok. it's all gonna be scene summary, or script-y dialogue that sounds wooden but gets the meaning out, whatever works. that's fine lemme leave it alone.

and then i scroll down until i find a bit i DO have the visuals for, i DO know what's going on for. maybe it's a single bracket in an otherwise perfectly prose section that i've finally figured out the wording for. maybe it's a scene summary that's suddenly playing out in technicolor in my head. maybe it's a completely stage 4 section that i've decided actually these two lines should be one. and then i repeat! eventually i hit the bottom of the doc and head back up to the top to repeat again, and again, and again. until all of it's in stage 4 with maybe a couple brackets, which means it's set to go to the google docs for beloved darling betas to read over and tell me what's what <3

this probably did not . make a ton of sense. i wish i had the equivalent of those like painting process videos bc i think it WOULD make sense if i could be like SEE. but kfjdsajfjfdlsa

[gayelderstourney]

OLD WOMAN YURI BRACKET ROUND 1

Propaganda:

Gertrude Robinson/Agnes Montague:

They are canonically soulmates thanks to a ritual Gertrude preformed to stop Agnes from causing the apocalypse. They both love arson (chaos granny’s for the win) . There’s this scene where someone points out Gertrude’s arsonistic tendencies and she unprompted just goes “remind me to tell you about Agnes sometime” in the most fondest tone EVER. And Agnes calls Gertrude her anchor. They’re very important to me

According to canon, they only physically met once. The canon is dumb and wrong They're bound together by a literal string of fate. One that prevents Agnes from fullfilling her destiny as the literal antichrist. She's probably grateful for it, she never asked to be born as the chosen one of the Cult of Lightless Flame. She can never have a normal life or touch another person without hurting her. Gertrude is a mortal human being and stubbornly remains so, even though she's so deeply tangled in the affairs of all the different eldritch fear entities. Yet she was able to save Agnes from her destiny by binding their fates together. I think they're both deeply lonely people, and there's so many narrative parallels between them. They orbit each other like twin stars. You can't tell me there's not something poetically homoerotic about them. This is yuri

Buddy Aurinko/Vespa Ilkay:

They are WIVES! They are part of a criminal family and they mean so much to eachother

They're like the Thelma and Louise of space crime. There's amnesia, there's prison, there's slavery, there's scifi decay of their bodies. But they find each other again. And they love each other.

i support women's right but most importantly i support women's wrongs. they met when they were young and did grand heists together as lovers, as a master thief and a master assassin. then something went wrong during a job and they both thought the other was dead. oops. but during the podcast's storyline they meet again, have a bit of a moment, save each other's lives, fix their relationship and fall in love again <3 no technically canon age but they are presumed to be in their 50s at least. also they're married and retired now

They have the most tragic story.. They’ve been thief partners for five years before a confrontation with the authorities, during which Vespa falls off a skyscraper and is presumed dead (by everyone except Buddy). Buddy was arrested and spent eight years in prison, and after being released she went to their agreed meeting place and waited for Vespa for years, almost dying from radiation poisoning (!). Vespa actually survived and was captured into slavery, during which she also suffered from radiation sickness. Eventually they are reunited, having not seen each other for fifteen years, and renew their relationship. Now they are married and retired together :)