#and I had real bad experiences in the LiS RPC

[stvrslight-a]

🔪 for a fandom you refuse to associate with (i think everyone has one of these, I know i do)

🔪: a fandom you refuse to associate with

     Hilariously enough, it was the KH fandom for a really long time. KH3 broke me, I guess.

     GOD THOUGH THERE’S A LOT. Voltron, Steven Universe, Life is Strange ( I used to RP there g oD ), some parts of the Miraculous Ladybug fandom ( I DO RP there ), the fandom that thinks its okay to RP as actual real-life people ( using them as FCs is a different story, so long as they’re comfortable; I mean like … people RPing AS JackSepticEye or w/e ), etc etc etc. I’m not going to, like, block any of these fandoms if they follow me, but chances of me RPing with them are s l i m ( except that last one. That last one I WILL block on sight ).

@flammadecorde :: MUNDAY NO-NO AND YES-YES LIST :: accepting !

[meltalks]

my experience with addy / hiqey

i’ve contemplated posting my history with addy/hiqey for awhile now. my friends have encouraged me to do so, but due to her stance in the rpc i was always far too scared to do so. with all that is coming to light with her recently, not only is a huge weight off my shoulders as far as comfortably roleplaying as my escape, but knowing i’m not alone. my story with addy dates back to about september 2018. i do warn you this will be long, and i’ll try to include enough details to make it make sense while not dragging things on and on. this includes both my personal relationship with addy, as well as my experience with her in groups one where she she was an admin, and groups where i was an admin. as well as i believe we coadmined one together. i’ve put screenshots where i could, but some of this dates back to 2018 and i just don’t have access to those texts/rp accounts anymore.

a huge huge shout out to @bumkeyz for starting this avalanche, and for also supporting me one on one along with all my friends to feel safe enough to come forward. i’ll put all of my story under a read more. 

i’m going to start this by saying, my name is mel/melanie. you may have heard of me because back when addy was on rpslayed she wasn’t a big fan of me for awhile. predominantly my group the cape(?) the main isn’t up anymore so i can’t remember the exact @. i’m 21 years old, i will be 22 this month. i am married & i have a 3 year old daughter. this is information i don’t normally tell people i’m married / have a child, because well, i just feel a little judged. not because anything anyone has specifically done or said, but my own anxieties worried that people will think it’s weird to be married with a child and still in twitter rp. but it is important to my story with addy, which is why i’m letting everyone know right off the bat. 

i met addy in a group called producers. this group is from september 2018, so i’m not able to access anything right now, but am digging. i played (feel free to clown me) a g-eazy character named pierce. addy played a carlson young who’s name i can’t quite recall, and a gracie abrams named lolly. lolly & pierce became friends first & at some point we exchanged phone numbers. lolly & pierce flirted a lot, pierce was a player yada yada. eventually she ended up getting a different ship on lolly & pushed her carlson young onto pierce. pierce had a different love interest & didn’t end up going for her. this should’ve been the first negative sign/red flag. when pierce didn’t get with her character, she got very short & snarky ic and ooc. i believe both of her characters blocked me ic. even though pierce had made no ic promises to either to not be with someone else. we still maintained some level of friendship, but she was extremely weird about when i mentioned my ship. our friendship ended for a few months because of an incident that started ic between me and another character. the mun who played this character and i had bonded ooc over having been pregnant, we talked somewhat often about her dealings with her pregnancy. so i felt close enough/friendly enough with this mun that when something happened with her character & another character ic i dm’ed her to see if she was ok .long story short it went bad. i texted addy and told her that. i explained that i felt as if this mun & i were close and it was like dm’ing a friend. she held onto the fact that i shouldn’t have messaged her. when i didn’t immediately conform to her thought she kicked me out of the group. i was literally devastated. i loved that group, that character, my ship; all of it. she blocked me. though this story is 2 paragraphs long, it’s minor in the grand scheme of things. after this she smeared me on rpslayed for months until our paths crossed again in a group called glitches/glitch? we decided to squash our beef. this was december 2019.

in december 2019 we became friends again. honestly, i wish we never crossed paths. we got very close right away. she started telling me about a bad friendship she had, with someone we mutually knew from producers who i will not name since it’s not my place to put their name in this, and gained my sympathy. so much so that i ended a friendship with that person based solely on accusations that addy had told me. this is something that i can now realize i did wrong. i literally cussed this person out on the phone, solely based off things addy told me. i didn’t listen to someone who had been my friend for months, who defended me and picked me up when addy was tearing me down on rpslayed. i turned my back because addy convinced me to. she made this person seem awful. and again, i’m not naming them, but they know exactly who they are. and when thy do read this, i’m sorry.

now this is where things get out of hand. addy & i begun an intimate relationship. this is very personal, and i know some may pass judgment. but my husband was cool with it. addy also began talking to my husband, they texted. we had a groupchat. not to get into details about the relationship, but it was romantic. i am going to try and organize my thoughts. into themes.

money

this relationship lasted from about january ish to april romantically. i became addy’s crutch. she began going through personal issues with her family. and i started sending her money. to be frank i don’t remember how it started. i helped her with a job search, supporting her through these tough things that were going on. the money started casually i suppose. it was $10 for lunch. $25 for nails. but then it got worse. i bought her a phone. and slowly she grew more entitled to my money. asking for it. demanding it. guilting me when i didn’t give it. i lied to her and told her i lost my credit card and turned it off, but the guilt i had i told her that i could turn it on when she needed it. in screenshots i will post below she guilted me because i was sick and fell asleep before turning my card on. whether what she’s saying occured is true or not, it was just one example of how she made me feel. at one point she had my credit card on her uber, and charged nearly $400 of ubers on my credit card that i didn’t know about. she claimed it was an accident, because i let her put my card on her account under the agreement that she would turn it off. we had an agreement of what she would pay me back, some things that i got her were gifts and i didn’t want/need back. other things it was always an agreement she would pay me back. however whenever i would mention sending me a payment she had an excuse. one time even guilting me by reminding me how much better i have it than she does. all in all i spent / sent upwards of $2500/$3000 on her. only about $1500/$1800 i wanted back. i never saw a dime back, she never made good on her promises. at some point i gave up on asking.

ETA: as far as the uber situation goes, she did apologize and state that it was never on purpose when i found out that there was nearly $500 in charges. she said she thought she was charging her moms card. this shows a photo of 1 page of a 5 page statement of all the transactions put on my card by her in one month. there are only 6 of these transactions that were me. all of the ubers and venmo were her. i didn’t make her take off my card, which in hindsight was obviously a very bad decision. i just didn’t want to leave her stranded without ways to get home/where she needed to be. 

this is her demanding money. this was in the summer. at this point i was so manipulated by her/scared of her/scared of losing her that i didn’t know how to say no. in this instance i deflected with a picture of my child. screen shot.

in the screenshots here, this is where i fell asleep. i was on vacation and got extremely dehydrated in the sun. i literally felt so sick and she made me feel guilty for falling asleep. X X X 

this screenshot shows one of the times i actually asked her when she would repay me. at this point my credit card was nearly maxed out from ubers and sending her money. i was anxious about it and she made me feel bad for asking because her situation was worse than mine. this was the same day she asked me for $250 for a down payment on her car. X asking for money. X making me feel bad for asking when she’s gonna pay.

literally to this day im still in credit card debt because of this. yes i make good money, yes my husband does too. but credit card debt is hard and everyone knows it. i do fine for myself, but i don’t have hundreds extra to pay this down. 

also, i cannot locate the bank screenshot. but as recent as this february, six months since she spoke to me, she still had my card on her uber and usted it again. i can’t find the screenshot of the actual of the bank transaction because i’ve completely had to close that account for fraud and transfer my balance to a new card. but here is a screenshot from february 12 where i tell my friends i caught her doing it. X .

manipulation in groups/related to groups

orbis. i ran a group called orbis, it was a reality show group. addy was one of my friends who really wanted me to open it. all of my groups i’ve adminned i’m the lead. i just always take on that roll so i do get very busy with them on top of my real life. i work full time and i’m a mom so i spread myself thin.she made me feel really guilty for this, saying i wasn’t giving her enough time, she wasn’t anyones dog. so i posted my unfollow. then she told me i was stupid for doing that. so i deleted my unfollow. then she said that me deleting my unfollow showed that i didn’t really care how she felt. screens. X X

lumeer. very similar situation to above. only this time i left the group completely for about 3 weeks. i called my coadmin crying about what she was doing to me, sent her the psds and templates for grpahics and left fully, though i helped them out if issues arose/they needed anything. 

impulse. this was recently and this got brought to the tags. im going to copy & paste what i sent to bumkeyz as far as the story goes for what happened.

“ what happened in impulse is only one of several examples of addy being awful in groups i've adminned. this goes back to our friendship but specifically here's what happened in impulse. addy played a character named briar, the other characters involved were as mentioned in other posts loki & khalil (fai fc). one of he first days of the group khalil hooked up with both loki & briar. when the "updates" account posted about loki & khalil's hook up (we posted any and all plot drops that were sent in, it was a reality show so we consistently updated what the cameras caught), briar got upset on main. addy then messaged khalil's mun ooc and asked for the plot to be erased. essentially because she didn't like that khalil had hooked up with both her and another girl in the same day/same manor. as odd of a request as i was the khalil mun agreed to wipe it & asked that if there was anything that ever came up again that made addy uncomfortable to please not hesitate to dm. addy then softblocked khalil. which is strange. why soft block with briar's reason to dislike khalil has been wiped? that night addy posted on her personal tumblr hiqey "i forgot all fai khadra fcs are weirdos" or soemthing along that line. the khalil mun reasonably got uncomfortable with that, but was softblocked & didn't tell the main. they just ignored it since their characters weren't interacting now. for the next few days addy continued to shade khalil and loki on main, despite any ic reason for disliking them being wiped. loki then approached briar IN CHARACTER asking what was wrong/why she was shading/why they didn't like her. i don't know all the details of that conversation, but i know it ended with loki saying she was going to block briar & briar saying that was fine. bear in mind the admins had no idea any of this was happening at this point. addy then dmed the main, playing victim. after more shading of khalil, khalil's mun decided to block briar as well. addy despite wiping this plot and having 0 ic communication with khalil continued to shade the characters ic. so addy dmed the main playing innocent. asking for us to have them unblock, saying she had no idea why they blocked or what she did. as admins we had no idea why either, figured it was something ic so we dmed both muns. khalil's mun agreed after some hestiation, and asked if they had to follow her and i said no. they didn't elaborate. loki's mun however refused, & i'm glad she did because she told us what was going on. of course once we were told everyting we didn't make her unblock. up until we told addy that we were not going to make those muns unblock her, she was extremely sweet to us. she praised us on her rpt. said she loved the group. fed the main compliments. but when she didn't get her way out of us, and was essentially told on, she started causing issues on the timeline with different characters. she sent us a dm on the main telling us to "learn how to handle your group melanie" and deactivated before i could get a chance to reply. “

what i didn’t tell bumkeyz is that deejay/rpslayed played khalil. another example of addy’s manipulation is that when she saw deejay getting anons she followed deejay and texted her after several months of no communication, starting to tell her side of the story and play innocent -- not knowing that deejay was the person who was behind khalil the entire time. she made khalil out to be the bad guy, not knowing that it was deejay. after finding out deejay and i were friends, when deejay posted on rpslayed for people to follow me shortly after trying to get deejay on her side, addy blocked us both (again). 

manipulation between friends (?)

i don’t really know a great way to title this, but this is similar to the situation i mentioned with the unnamed person above -- how addy made me think that person was the worst so i would stop being friends with them. this is a few more examples of that.

the entire time i was friends with addy, she told me that deejay hated me. she told me that deejay was convinced that i was this person who tried to get her kicked out of a group. she told me that she did her very best to convince deejay that it wasn’t true, but no matter what she did deejay just hated me. nearly a year later deejay and i cross paths in a group. we started talking ooc and i mentioned this. i asked her why she thought that was me. we found out that basically, while addy was telling me she was trying to convince deejay it wasn’t me, she was telling deejay that it was me. she would also tell me personal information about deejay that i had no business knowing, whether it be real life information or just telling me the groups deejay adminned when she knew deejay didn’t want anyone knowing. 

i have found out recently that addy has recently been telling people a lie about when she came to visit me. on one evening when she visited me in june of 2019, we went to my friend’s house. we both drank, and smoked. i am someone who neither drinks nor smokes, and i got a very bad mix from it. my anxiety sky rocketed. i was crying on my friends couch practically paralyzed. i didn’t want to move. i felt sick. i felt scared. my friends were going to drive us back to my house and shortly before we were about to walk out addy said she needed to go to the hospital. my friend’s boyfriend drove her there, and when he came back they took me home. this night is very blurry for me. i remember barely being able to see straight, my friend helped me walk to and from the car. addy has told her friends that i refused to pick her up from the hospital that night, and i’ve now heard this from two of her close friends. when in reality, i was so far gone that not only was i sick and scared, but i couldn’t see straight. i had absolutely no ability to be behind a wheel. i’m not surprised she twisted this against me.

i provided a few people screenshots where addy was telling me to block them/trying to convince me that they were awful and hurting me. at the same time that addy was telling me this, she was doing the opposite to them -- to keep us apart. i believe this is some sort of power. always wanting to be everyones number one.

i don’t have a lot of screenshots for this, so i won’t go into much detail, but i can say on more than one occasion, or more than five or ten she told me who to and not to be friends with. told me to block people who had been our friends who were no longer friends with her. 

flat out manipulation.

i don’t want to go back through my texts too much honestly. it’s still a sore spot. it still sucks and it still hurts. but i think anyone and everyone involved with addy at some point or another has similar stories about the way she treats her friends. there were points where i begged. begged and begged her not to leave me. i can’t even count how many times she blocked and unblocked me. how many times she made me feel the worst and then came back. she came back because she knw i was there. and that my generosity was practically endless. i couldn’t say no to her, frankly i can’t say no to anyone. if anyone dmed me today and said hey i need $15 for a ride home. i’d probably send it. that’s just how i am. addy completely had me wrapped around her finger. to the point that i left friends who were good to me. i left my own groups i worked hard on. i nearly ended my engagement (which cannot be entirely blamed on her, but the relationship she and i had was built off lots of manipulation). i know that i could go find 100 screenshots and texts of her manipulating me but honest i just don’t want to do that to myself again. she has made me out to be the villain to anyone she can. i have had 2 different people tell me that she told them i say the n word, which is the furthest thing from the truth. i fear the things she’s said about me to people. if she can 100% make something up, what can she twist from actual arguments or issues we had? 

i know this sounds like a lot of rambling for nothing. but for nearly two years i’ve lived in fear in the rpc of addy. less so when we were friends. i’ve feared telling my side because i felt invalid. frankly even as i type this im scared. scared she’s already convinced everyone i’m awful and no one will read this or care. i just am thankful that this finally came to light. i am glad that i won’t feel scared anymore. roleplay is my one place to be free. as a mother, a full time worker, i don’t have a lot of time for hobby’s and frankly i don’t have a lot of them. i don’t draw, or read. i like to write. and i’m just thankful this can finally be lifted off me.

[tcpdog]

my experience with and stance on duplicates is... complicated, to put it mildly.

before I came to tumblr, there was no such thing as a “duplicate” because everywhere I RP’d beforehand was entirely OC-based. you did have issues of copycatting but that is a different scenario.

when I first started RPing here, I began in the Marvel / MCU fandom when it was just starting to get real good (when the first Thor and then the Avengers movies came out). I had no concept of duplicate anxiety then and I don’t think the RPC really did either. I wrote several muses from it but on all of them I engaged with other writers of the same muse, most especially for Loki -- where, in fact, I actually received a few anons complaining that I spent more time RPing with duplicates than anything else, which was kinda true. I had so many good times with these writers on my muses, it was incredible, so back then I was really open-minded about dupes.

then one of those writers, who was also a close friend of mine, stabbed me in the back, submitted my name to a burn blog to shit on me and my portrayal, and I found out through that burn blog screenshotting and posting all of those recent messages sent to them. naturally I confronted this friend about it and they lied straight to my face, claiming it was fake. I initially believed them, only because I didn’t want to believe the alternative, but the truth rapidly became clear and we fell out of touch.

then I’ve had issues with several other muses I’ve written, where duplicates would steal / copy from me, compete with me and try to guilt trip shared partners into going exclusive with them to cut me out. even had one stalk me repeatedly and send me a bunch of anon hate. I’ve clashed with duplicates in the Poke RPC as well.

suffice it to say that a few bad apples ruins the bunch and my disposition towards duplicates has been irrevocably tarnished. on top of worsening mental health in general, I’m extra paranoid and afraid of being copied, or losing writing partners. I’m not self conscious about my writing nor do I have an inferiority complex; I’m actually very proud of what I’ve created... which gives me the opposite problem that a lot of people have, in that I strive so hard to craft what I consider the “perfect” vision of how I see my muses that I can be critical and judgmental of how others do it. instead of comparing myself to them and feeling short, I sometimes compare them to me and feel ‘above’. and this is an issue I’ve been struggling with for a while now.

I’ve started trying to let my duplicate issues go, and sometimes it works, depending on the muse and the fandom I’m in... but generally I just get very uncomfy with duplicates. if I see someone has already started to plot and be significantly involved with another version of my muse, or will start, I’ll just save myself the time and invest my effort elsewhere. because I can get competitive with things I enjoy and feel confident in (in this case writing), and I’ve had negative experiences w/ duplicates trying to compete with me, I just void the scenario altogether. not a competition if I won’t even step up to the plate, y’know?

[xmilitisx]

[ ♛ ] :D!!

[ ♛ ] send me your url and i'll tell you the following;

my opinion on;

character in general: Hanzo was the eldest son of the Shimada clan and crime syndicate out of Japan. He and his brother were groomed to take over the family when Soijro passed, but unfortunately- He and Genji were forced to face each other and Hanzo was ordered to put down his brother for the sake of the clan. Despite Genji surviving, Hanzo has to live with his own brand of guilt, and remorse that has turned a once proud man into someone who is simply trying to find their way. 

how they play them: With an amazing degree of subtly. The mun is actually of Japanese descent, so they bring an a flavor of realism to the character. There’s an interesting rubix cube of personality to them, that flips different ways depending on the factors. Hanzo is not presented as a stoic, stern-faced alcoholic who lapses into periodic sets of self-recrimination. 

Rather, he’s someone who is trying to survive in a world he’s never had to before. He’s a stranger in a strange land who has managed to become NOT what his clan wanted to be, but someone who is his own person. Playing with them over the past year has shown how much they’ve grown. It’s a fascinating study, really- to see just how much lies below that mirrored surface of archer/mercenary & man.

the mun:

The mun, unfortunately- is someone I’ve seen get a lot of hate for the stupidest ass reasons. They’re a good bean, if shy and anxious. They want to flourish in an RPC community that’s inclusive and positive. They’re a fantastic storyteller and wonderful role-player. And I feel very humbled by the fact they let me close to them enough to talk almost daily on discord. ♥

do i;

follow them: yah!rp with them: hell yah!want to rp with them: Of course!ship their character with mine: :> Why do you think he calls him Stormy? Hanzo is Jack’s thunderstorm. He comes in, washes all the bad feelings clean and reminds him that there’s always a silver (gold) lining if he looks hard enough. (Well, there’s that whole dragon of the Southern Storm too ♥)

what is my;

overall opinion: The character is well thought out from a completely unique standpoint. Hanzo exhibits a sense of humor, a sense of honor, pain, disgust, recrimination, curiosity, playfulness.

In effect, he comes across as a visceral character that feels very real and I’m glad I’ve gotten to experience that. He doesn’t feel played to a stereotype, and that appeals to me. The mun deserves a second chance, and more love.

**Note: Mun’s answer are all to be completely honest. Don’t send url if you don’t want brutal honesty.

[dorkcresswxll]

i went...... hard y’all this is so extra and embarrassing but i spent like,, over an hour writing this down so ur all gonna see it u better.

Why did you choose to play the character that you do at Crimson Revolt?

im gonna be honest like………………………………. i picked dirk bc i wanted to play ezra miller lmao. I KNOW HOW SHALLOW THAT IS DONT LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT OKAY I CAN EXPLAIN!!!!!!!! alright so before i apped for crt the first time i was at…… a pretty low place confidence-wise bc i’d just left the first rpg i ever joined (also the first rp thing i ever did) and it was a pretty,,,, messy departure lmaoo i gotta admit i could’ve handled that better orz. BUT ANYWAY so i went looking through the ezra miller fc tag bc i’d just discovered this fabulous person and had vague ideas about a character that could fit the fc (dramatic, cheeky, a lil flamboyant) and was also thinking “i will never fall in love with a character the way i did my previous ones again” and more dramatic bullshit along those line bc like i said,,, bad time. obviously i didn’t find any active rpgs that had him in use so i checked crt bc i’d seen it around before and liked the look of it, so i sent the main an ask like “do you see ezra miller working for any of your open characters?” the admin at the time pointed me to barty crouch, peter pettigrew and dirk cresswell.

i just want to take a moment to digest that i could literally have played any of these three, cause all i had at the time was a vague idea of a character and a fc to match. i remember i spent days trying to decide between barty and dirk cause neither skeleton fit my vision perfectly and they both seemed aimed more towards an angry jock-type character (especially dirk his fc was miles teller which…. should give u a good idea of what the admin at the time had in mind for him) ( i mean the first skeleton. the one on the main now is one i rewrote after the main crashed back in june.) (just to clarify: the original skeleton had just as much potential to evolve to a complex and intriguing character as any other skeleton here at crt. i just had my vaguely dramatic ezra miller bby and i wanted it. lmao.) but i liked challenging set characterizations and bringing unique perspectives to contrast against any expectations the admin/s might have about a character. which is why i tend to go for skeleton rps, you get more freedom with those. eventually i decided on dirk bc i liked the sound of aversio and grey moralities appeal to me greatly. i spent a long time delving into the character’s backstory and personality and all those deep-seated insecurities and compelling contradictions that make dirk up to be the person he is now. by the time i submitted the app i was thoroughly in love with the character and haven’t stopped since. he’s my most developed and my most beloved character to play thus far.

Do you have a favorite holiday?

NOPE. as long as im surrounded by people i love and a lot of snacks im good.

Do you prefer coffee or tea? Perhaps neither, or both?

coffee. coffee coffee coffee.

What is your personality type?

INFP-T. the mediator. 86% introverted lmaooo.

What is your Hogwarts House?

ahhh. when i first read the books a few years ago i was like ‘iM A SLYTHERIN DONT TOUCH ME!!!!!’ but i…………literally have the subtlety of a bulldozing stampede of rhinos im sure y’all noticed. i took the pottermore test and had the glaring red n gold show up on my face and i shut the laptop down so fast like liES I BELIEVE NONE OF THIS. then i took a fan-made test that put me in ravenclaw and i was like…………….. ok i accept this compromise i can work with that. lmao im such a gryffindor tho don’t look at me im just *flops* pottermore was right….. i accept my place now i have stopped running from the truth orz.

What is your Zodiac Sign?

Taurus.

Three most recently watched on Netflix?

SURPRISE! i don’t have netflix. most recent stuff i watched tho are Stranger Things 2, IT (2017) and…. i can’t remember orz. but im obsessed with stranger things taLK TO ME ABOUT STEVE HARRINGTON PLS I LOVE HIM SO MUCH *SOBS*

Describe your ride-or-die friend.

don’t call me out like this…………………………………. i don’t make friends in real life people are difficult and i am awkward orz.

If you could have any superpower, what would you choose?

the ability to focus whenever i want at whatever i want for however long i want and actually manage to be productive with my time. what do u mean this is not a superpower i need it to be one.

Are you an early bird or a night owl?

i have no sleep schedule to speak of. sometimes i sleep at five am and wake up at eight am to get to my classes, then have a six hour nap when i get home and stay up until four am again. sometimes i go to bed on eight pm and wake up at four in the morning and still sleep through my classes, take a small four hour nap when im home and spend obligatory time with the fam for a couple hours lmao. it’s like im just sleeping or waking up either way im always a step removed from a zombie. there is. no reason for any of this i just do it.

What is your favorite color?

YELLOW. it’s so bright and sunny and iouwodc. i love it.

What is the last book you read? What is your favorite?

ahhhh i can’t remember my memory is failing me. which is sad cause i used to pick up a new novel every other day but i just can’t be bothered anymore ugh. i think my favorite was the whole PJO & HoO series’ – i haven’t read the last book yet tho, so i’ll start rereading all ten books when i get the chance.

Where would you rather be right now?

on a bed. sleeping. alone. with a lot of blankets. solitude appeals to me on such a deep level guys u don’t even know.

Have you ever watched the sunrise?

the ones i remember are three – once when i was a kid with my mom, bc i wouldn’t go to sleep and it was approaching sunrise and i rambled about wanting to see the sun come up so my mom was like………………… ‘*throws hands up* ok u lil monster u win’ and took me to the roof to watch the sunrise lol. it was glorious. and cold. bc winter. the second time was with my cousins who were sleeping over (for the first time in a loooong tiiiimmmeeee) and we decided to spend the night up on the roof bc why not. the last time was with my brother i think he was up there fixing something or the other and i was just there….. to be annoying lmao.

Do you listen to music when you write? If yes, what kind of music?

oh no i can’t. i need everything and everyone to be quiet or i can’t write a thing.

What’s the one thing you especially love about roleplaying your muse/s?

what do i love about playing dirk…… his impulsive and his bright attitude and his endless optimism. he has such an uplifting presence and a cheeky sort of charm that makes it impossible for people not to love him, that makes his worming into other people’s hearts so entirely predictable and entertaining to play out. he is a myriad of contradictions – the difference between what he thinks everyone deserves and what he thinks he deserves is appalling, and with time it becomes clear that when he says things like “everyone needs someone to lean on” or “everyone could use some support” he is not referring to himself as a part of this ‘everyone’, if even on a subconscious level, does not find himself worthy of such kindness. he is a character so full of love he is spilling and overflowing with it, his raw emotions and his turbulent nature one of the dearest parts of him to me. the thin line he walks between being kind and violent, loyal and unforgiving, genuine and secretive. all the little details that make him up are reason for me to love him as dearly as i do.

What’s your favorite type of weather?

cold, but not too cold, y’know? just enough to wear a jacket but not so much you spend the night under five covers and a thermometer lmaoo.

What’s your best RP experience?

crt. no contest. and im not just saying that cause i’ve been in a bunch of rpgs by now and they all either a) lack dedicated admins/members b) are cliquey and non-inclusive at all or b) fall into inactivity a meager month or two after opening. crt is one of a kind.

Who inspires you?

this is actually a tough question cause i never really stop to think about it?? i draw inspiration from everything around me and it’s kinda like…. im constantly absorbing stuff from the environment im in and it’s like i’m always half-thinking about writing at any given moment, if that makes sense?? dunno.

Spread some love: mention someone you’ve met that has influenced you or your writing in a positive way and explain how!

ahhh okay so. before i tried roleplaying i stumbled upon this rpg in the fandom tag over a year ago and it’s basically been the catalyst for my time in the rpc. i was looking through the character’s blogs and found someone playing peter and i was like……….. not fond of peter at the time tbh but this person’s writing was so fucking incredible i checked their blog daily, just to see how this thread or that thread would go. their take on a character i’d only held distaste for before was so compelling and complex i was drawn in all the way, i’d even come to love the character so much and was constantly disarmed by the smallest to the biggest details in that person’s characterization – at least the details i could pick up on, some i’m sure went way over my head at the time. some details i still remember vividly and they’ve helped me shape my first character and have influenced my writing thereafter. i learned a lot about the duality of a character’s mind and how to express inner conflict by observing that person’s writing. (yes i sent them a nerdy af message gushing about all that bc they hadda know man…. they hadda know.)

[fcnames]

hey honey!! i need help: when it comes to creating charas, what methods do you use to develop their backstory and personality? bc i always get intimidated w/ that part bc i want my chara to be realistic , y'know?

alright this is super super late but !!! here are some key factors:

1) avoid the cliches.

rich kid plots are ruining good characters. none of these rps offer much when it comes to groups because guess what .. everyone is literally the same. you can explain them however you want but it’s always these lukewarm characters with very little development opportunity. if you call your character something like “my little ball of sunshine” or “my angry son” or anything other typical intro post bullshit like … your character is boring. super boring. unless they’re unique enough, which .. they rarely are. the new mary sue is an angry asshole matthew daddario or literally any female fc with a sweetheart personality. everyone keeps limiting themselves because they want to play likable, easy characters, and that’s not what good writing is.  

2) find the polar opposite and run with it. far, far, away with it. 

my first thought when i pick the fc i want to play is to assess what they’ve already been associated with, and go in a totally different direction. with actors its easy because most people tend to (intentionally or not) stick with their fc’s most popular role, and model their character after it. i’ve never seen shadow hunters, but the common ground most matty d’s share are assholes/lotharios, so i can only assume that’s the type of character he plays. dylan obriens tend to be sarcastic funny guys. lindsey morgans are tough girls with no feelings, and josefine pettersens are generally soft and sweet. while these character ideas are good, the fc match is a bad choice because … everyone is expecting it. it’s nothing new. your character doesn’t have depth. i honestly can’t remember a single character’s name that had that type of personality/backstory matched with those fcs. your character is your work, and your work should be good enough to be remembered. 

with models, its a little harder, but think of your stereotypical gigi/kendall/bella: rich, stubborn, stuck up or sweethearts, bland and boring blah blah blah, but honestly how hard can it be to switch that up?when it comes to underused fcs, i honestly just take them at literal face value. sure i research a little bit  (i’m careful not to make singers into singers, models into models, etc) and try to avoid mimicking any character i can find that they’ve played. a lot of my process is just thinking about everything these entertainers are NOT, and moving on from there.

3) write WHO you know, and WHAT you don’t. 

you know other humans, yes? you’ve seen tv, you’ve read books, you know stories …? even rumors about people i go to school with inspire me. no matter what you do, parts of your personality (your speech patterns, your thoughts, ideas, etc) will shine through your character. if those personal traits are the only realistic parts of your character, then you aren’t doing enough for them. think of your friends, of anyone you know. think about what makes them … them. their ticks, their interests, their history, their humor. for some reason, everyone in the rpc is afraid of writing REAL flaws. so many of these characters are so 2 dimensional because people are so hung up on getting their characters to be likable or sexy or perfect and its just like … you’re writing a human being, aren’t you? write manipulative characters that spread lies or rumors. write characters that fuck up and get defensive and are wrong in the argument. write characters that harbor actual *secret crushes* that aren’t just the first step to a ship plot. let them be embarrassing, and slam their hand in a door trying to be cool in front of someone. give them real insecurities, like where they fit in with society. characters who can’t control their emotions and cry at confrontation, even if they started it. give them opportunities to fuck up and grow without ridiculous ooc meddling in thier affairs. even stuff as small and useless as allergies help connect both you and other writers to your character. its little things that give your character flare and realism. 90% of my traits and ticks and flaws in characters come from people i know in real life, or my own experiences. don’t be afraid to tackle personal things like that.

as far as WHAT you don’t know: stop being afraid to step out of the box and write a real human being. write characters with disabilities, with hearing aids or wheel chairs or speech impediments. its been like four years and i STILL remember a blind colton haynes i met in an rp because he was so .. unique. 

4) for general inspiration, hit spotify and tumblrs.

the more obscure the song, the easier it is to base a character off of it because ... no one’s heard it, have they? so i get lost in my indie spotify acc, or i find a random huge aesthetic tumblr blog and i dig from there. you can find those by typing in literally any random word for the url, but for some help to get started these are some of my faves: x x x  ... you can also just go to @museinspo​ ‘s page and go to like ... a random page in the 500s and build from there !! 

5) honestly ? write who you want to see.

at this point there’s only like ... four different personalities and backgrounds that every rp character has atm, so i just make it a point to .. write the kind of character i’d be interested in writing against. granted, this doesn’t ensure a perfect character experience (sometimes i make a character too complex and i lose interest much faster bc .. bc its just not right for me, you know?), but it does create a bigger personal investment in what you’re writing. when it honestly comes down to it, you can build a character out of a shitpost if you take a couple seconds to just ... think one out. when it comes to plotting i find it easier to just leave as much room as possible in your character’s backstory/current life to make stuff more flexible so it works, but honestly like ... the less dramatic you go, the easier it is to make them realistic. that’s just something to keep in mind when you write up a new character.

this sort of got away from me and a lot of it was just getting stuff off my chest but heRE you are my friend i hope this sounds less bitchy than i think it does !! but if u got any specific questions i can probably chill and answer with a decent lengthed response jfdkaf