#and I googled it and it sounded neat and I toured it and liked the vibe

[spacecoffeeandcartoons]

oop its uni ranking time again

the time of the year when I remember that since age 14 ive basically spent my life in educational institutions that have been at some point ranked #1 on some of these lists. ugh. bleh. nothing intelligent to say just now, I just always need to remember the ways this limits or biases my experience in addition to the ways it broadens it. someday I will finally write the big article that's been brewing in my brain about the meritocracy fallacy.

[inbloomwriting]

Everything to me - Chapter 2

Chapter two - Blueberry & Kidney Bean

Chapter 1

Plot: Jamie Tartt is a lot of things: professional footballer, the island's top scorer .... sexually, extremly handsome. But one thing he never saw himself as was a dad. Too bad he has to deal with the consequences of his own actions. This fic follows reader and Jamie as they navigate life and turn from practially strangers to parents. Pairing: Jaime Tartt x female reader Warnings: Pregnancy, swearing, mentions of food and alcohol, slight mention of sexual intimacy (nothing graphic), strained/toxic parental relationship Notes: 5.6k words. I do not have a set uploading schedule. Please bear with me as I work on this story. I know hardly anything about pregnancy, all my information comes from google. I tagged everyone who asked me to do it when I posted part 1. Please let me know if you want to be taken off or added to the taglist. Likes, reblogs, comments are all much appreciated. I am German. Sometimes I get the tense wrong or make mistakes. I am useless when it comes to punctuation. Go easy on me, please

The store smells like dust and cardboard and old carpet. It's not necessarily a bad smell, it just doesn't live up to her memories.

She remembers the perpetual scent of menthol cigarettes and some kind of cheap men's perfume wafting through the air. The store used to smell like her dad and now it doesn't. And that just makes it all even more real.

Boxes upon boxes litter the room, filled with records. Some older, some newer. Guitars adorn one wall while the others are covered in posters from tours that happened long ago, some even before she was born.

There is something comforting about being here. It’s like stepping back into the past. Long nights watching Dad and his friends play their guitars after store-closing. Discovering new bands whenever a new shipment of records came in. And yes - she is the first to admit that in her younger years, she mostly chose the records by how cool the cover looked. 

It’s also memories of Dad getting caught up in the after-hours jam sessions and forgetting about her dance recital and that one time he threw a guitar at the window out of anger that a shipment of records got lost. It took him months to get the window replaced. She could probably still trace exactly where the crack used to be. 

Being here is very reminiscent in all the good and bad ways. But it’s a warped version of the past. One that’s laced with all the knowledge she has now. Like a movie that you’ve seen a million times.

“I don’t think pregnant women are supposed to be doing that!” 

Jamie’s voice cuts through the nostalgia-induced fog like a sunbeam through the clouds. And it also gives her a little heart attack as the only sound filling the room up until now had been her moving around and the soft tunes of an Eric Clapton record playing in the background.

“Jesus fuck! You scared me. I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to startle pregnant women either and give them heart attacks.” 

He looks at her with those big expressive eyes of his and a comically overdone pout on his lips. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you. But seriously give me that.” 

He’s so quick to take the box of records from her hands (Y/N) hardly has time to process what’s going on. 

Quite honestly, his worry is a bit misplaced here but she appreciates the sentiment even if he might be a little overly cautious at that moment. It feels nice to be cared for. 

“You know I’m pregnant, not sick, right? I can carry stuff.” 

“Yeah but why would you if you got me carrying it for you?” 

He has a point, she has to give him that. 

“Fair enough. Those go over there in the corner please.” 

Jamie follows her order without hesitation and, after setting the box down in its designated place, his eyes dart across the room and light up with childlike wonder and curiosity.

“This used to be your dad’s place, yeah? It looks really neat with all them posters and shit. Like stepping into an old person’s mind but like a cool old person that buys you alcohol when you’re 15 and lets you watch horror movies when your mum said no.” 

Of all the adjectives in the world, (Y/N) wouldn’t ever think of using the word “cool” to describe her dad. He was creative and fun and eccentric and stubborn — but cool? 

Then again he was her dad and no one ever likes to think of their own parents as cool. Oh god, will their kid think she’s uncool?! 

“Uh yeah, the shop and the apartment right above us. He owned it, now I do. I’m trying to get it all fixed up and ready to be sold.”

“What? Why?” 

There is something to be said about Jamie’s face and his absolute inability to mask his emotions. Everything he thinks and feels is mirrored twice as vividly on his face. He’s all furrowed brows and pouty lips. 

“I mean — it’s a record store. People don’t really buy records anymore. Be honest, when was the last time you bought one instead of just streaming the music?” 

“Like two weeks ago.” 

“Fuck off, no you didn’t!” 

“Uh — yeah, I did. Olivia Rodrigo if you must know.” 

A soft giggle falls from (Y/N)’s lips. How fitting for Jamie to buy an album full of teenage angst. 

“Well, you’re one of very few people though. In a perfect world, I wouldn’t have to sell. I’d keep it open. Instead of selling instruments, it’d turn that part of the shop into a little stage with a coffee counter or a bar. Host open mic nights and shine a spotlight on undiscovered artists. But the world isn’t perfect and there is no way I can afford to turn that vision into reality so really there’s no use in letting myself get too caught up in it.” 

There is pity in his eyes and she hates it. She doesn’t want pity, not his or anyone else’s. Has seen enough of it, especially lately. If she had received just one more “Sorry for your loss” card in the mail from relatives she hadn’t seen in decades, she probably would’ve stabbed a fork in her own eye. Pity does no good to no one. 

“Anyway, Jamie. Not that I don’t enjoy hanging out with you, it’s kind of necessary if we want to get this whole beings-friends-thing right, but uh — what are you doing here?” 

“Jesus, can’t a guy just come around to say hi to his baby? “ 

She thinks the way he says the word “Baby” in his thick accent is surprisingly and undeniably adorable. As if it ends in an “eh” instead of a “y”.

“By the way, they’re as big as a blueberry now.” 

And the way he’s keeping track of the baby's growth gets her right in the heart. For some reason, this seems to come so naturally to him when it all still feels weird and foreign and surreal to her. As if it were happening to someone else and she’s just a mere spectator. The idea that something as small as a blueberry will one day turn into a proper baby, a child, a teenager … a whole ass adult - is so wild to her. Almost incomprehensible. A person with their own feelings and dreams and personality. (Y/N) wonders if at any point in this pregnancy, she'll wake up and it'll all just make sense or if that only comes once she's holding the baby in her arms.

“That's cute. Doesn't answer my question though. What brings you here?”

A shadow of something flickers across Jamie’s face. Something unreadable and unfamiliar. Something that makes (Y/N) feel a sense of dread bubbling up in her stomach.

“I uh — I can’t do this.”

And there it is. That unfamiliar shadow is now a metaphorical atom bomb, a mushroom cloud of all that could have been and won’t be.

“Oh okay. I mean no, not okay. This sucks actually. You said you wanted to be part of the baby’s life and now you’re bailing? That’s a shit move, Jamie. You’re a right prick for pulling that crap.” 

“What? Oh no!” his eyes widen as the realization sets in. “That’s not what I meant.”

“Well then what did you mean? Cause you’re truly giving me a heart attack right now. Second one for today. You really need to start working on your conversation starters.” 

She had given him the chance to opt out of being a dad, to not be a part of the baby’s life. It seemed like the right thing to do and, foolishly, (Y/N) had believed that she’d be okay with him doing just that. In this very moment though, she feels everything but okay. The idea of Jamie changing his mind is terrifying. 

Sometimes you don’t realize just how much you need something — or someone until you’re faced with the possibility of losing them.

“I mean, I can’t do this alone. I need to tell someone. All I keep thinking about is the baby and I feel like I am going to explode any second now. I know we can’t tell everyone yet ‘cause of — well you know, things going wrong and stuff. But I need to tell someone. You got to tell Rebecca and your mum, I think it’s only fair I get to tell two people as well, yeah?”

A sense of relief floods her. Starts in her toes and fills her all the way to the top of her head. He wants this — wants the baby. It’s not just her in this. It’s nice to know you have someone in your corner. It’s also scary. Because he deserves to know just whose team he’s on. And being vulnerable fucking sucks. 

“Jamie, that’s fine. Absolutely you can tell your mum.” 

“And Simon? You got two people so — “

“I didn’t though.” 

“Uh yes, you did. I know you told Rebecca.” 

“That’s right.”

“And your mum too”.

The silence that follows his words is deafening. Being vulnerable means also admitting guilt. It means owning up to all of your mistakes. Though we are not the sum of our mistakes, they are what help shape the person we become. And (Y/N) really doesn’t think they make her a very good one.

“And your mum too?” 

More silence.

“You didn’t tell your mum? Why not? “

To his credit, Jamie looks truly surprised and confused. There is no judgment there, just absolute bewilderment and that signature softness that rounds out his features and settles in his eyes whenever Jamie talks to her about something serious. Granted they’ve not had that many conversations but she hopes that softness stays. She hopes that maybe their baby can have those soft, gentle eyes too.

“I’m not sure. I think I’m scared. My mum and I have a — complicated relationship. I disappoint her, she judges me. You know, the usual.” 

“You think she’ll be disappointed because we're having a baby? Is it because of me?”

(Y/N) shrugs, breaking eye contact and fixing her gaze on the old grey carpet with the ugly 90s pattern. What if those soft eyes can look straight through her, see all the ugly parts and the insecurities? That’s too scary for now. Too much too soon.

“No, it has nothing to do with you. Think she’ll just be disappointed I didn’t get pregnant according to the timeline she dreamed up for my life when I was like 2 years old. Had it all planned out for me and I never stuck to it.” 

Jamie is quiet for a moment but (Y/N) doesn’t dare to look back up at him. She can’t deal with any more pity.

“Well if you want to practice telling a mum, we can start with mine.”

“Huh?” 

“You can come to Manchester with me if you want. To tell my mum. We’ll have one mum down then, makes it easier to do it a second time. It’s science.” 

Jamie has the fascinating quality of making you believe in his words just by being so undeniably charming and because he believes in them himself. He makes it look easy when it is everything but.

“And if things don’t go well with your mum at least you’ll know you have at least one mum you can rely on, even if it’s not your own. She raised me pretty much by herself so she knows a thing or two about babies and parenting and stuff.” 

The mocking raise of (Y/N)’s right eyebrow doesn’t go unnoticed by Jamie who opens his lips to a silent gasp and clutches his chest with an overly dramatic gesture. 

“What? You saying I didn’t turn out perfectly?”

“No,” she laughs, a lightness festering in her chest. Like the first rays of sunshine after a cold winter that never seemed to end. Like a glass of wine after a long day at work. Like your favorite song on the radio at the exact moment you need it most. “I think you turned out exactly the way you were supposed to.” 

“Thanks,” Jamie says with that cheeky smile playing on his lips that makes him look a little younger than he actually is. Then he dares to wink at her and it’s a little annoying but also insanely charming. “Not sure you meant it as a compliment but I am taking it. Now when are you free for a trip up to Manchester?” 

(Y/N)’s been on a lot of road trips around the country when she was younger. She’s even spent a whole summer traveling Europe, partially by train but most of the time was spent stuffed in a Fiat Punto with 3 of her friends and all their luggage. It was stuffy, it was chaotic and it was immensely fun. None of those road trips ever involved a shiny black Aston Martin Rapide though. 

Or a famous footballer dressed in the ugliest lime green sweater (Y/N) has ever seen. 

“That’s all the luggage you got?” Jamie questions as he moves the black shades off of his eyes and sets them on the top of his head, holding back some of his hair. It shouldn’t work so well but it does. 

“I mean, we’re only staying for a night right? Why? Should I have brought more? How much did you pack?” 

He glances at her, then towards the car, and back at her. A sheepish look crosses his face before being replaced by his childlike cheekiness. “That’s confidential. Don’t worry about it, yeah?” 

“I got my ginger lollies, that’s all that matters really.” 

“You feeling alright?” 

“Mh, I’m good. Just pregnant.” 

His eyes drop down to her stomach for just a second before he nods his head in what (Y/N) can only describe as a mix of pride and satisfaction. “Yeah, you are.” 

That’s new. Well not new-new but it hasn’t happened since the day of the funeral. That tingly feeling in her stomach that has fuck all to do with the baby and everything with how the baby got there. Yes, Jamie is hot and (Y/N) is the first to admit as much but there has been so much stress and chaos and she hardly had time to think about anything but surviving and making sure not to completely lose herself in bad visions of what-ifs that her brain has had no time to process any feelings of arousal or lust. That look he just gave her though, that one made her remember it for just a second.

“You sure you’re alright?” 

Jamie’s voice shakes her from her daydream and brings her back to the real world, her eyes focusing back on the obscene car parked in front of her tiny apartment building looking so insanely out of place.

“Uh yes, I’m fine. I just — sometimes I forget that you’re famous.” 

Jamie regards her for a moment before shrugging his shoulder and grabbing the bag from her hands. “I don’t. It’s fun. Now come on, let’s goooooo.” 

His voice is dipped in excitement and there’s a bounce in his step. If this is how the prospect of seeing his mother makes him feel and behave, she must be one lovely woman. Whenever (Y/N) thinks of her own mother her chest fills with tiny metaphorical icicles. Sharp and rough and painful. It’s all regret and judgment and disapproval. It’s “You gained weight”, “you look tired”, and “You should really look into getting a new job”. Daggers disguised as roses. Stabs right to the heart in the name of being honest. “I just care about you, because I love you, because I am your mother!” 

If there is one thing (Y/N) knows for sure, it’s that she will never ever find the need to resort to criticism and thinly veiled malice in order to show her child that she cares. They will know. Every single day. Because she’ll make sure to show them. Every single day in all the big and tiny ways a person can show their love. 

“Kidney Bean?”

“Kidney Bean. And apparently, the baby is sprouting webbed fingers and toes right now. Oh, and it’s starting to move!” 

“Can you feel that?” 

“No, not yet.” 

“It’s mental. Last week she was the size of a blueberry and now she’s a kidney bean. Kid’s growing up too fast.” 

It’s true. There is so much happening all at once and it’s almost impossible to really process it all. Suddenly there is a tiny spark of a human inside her. Not really a baby yet but a baby to her. And it's moving and developing and changing every second of every day. Fucking insane.

“Wait … you said she. You think it’s a girl?”

Maybe it’s the sunlight casting a glow through the windshield but (Y/N) is almost certain she can just about make out a blush dusting Jamie’s cheeks. 

“Dunno.”

“Jamie Tartt, do you want to be a girl dad?” 

He glances at (Y/N) through the corner of his eyes for just a moment but it’s enough for her to see the sincerity in him. This is something he’s thought about before. Learning new things about Jamie is fascinating.

“Ah,  it’s stupid, really. It’s — It’s dumb or whatever.” 

“No, come on, don't go shy on me now. Tell me.” 

He takes a deep breath. A moment passes then another. There is no rush. Sometimes silly thoughts are the result of harsh truths. 

“Told you my dad was a prick. Like the biggest piece of shit walking this earth, yeah? And I knew that all my life. Thing is I still tried to impress him. I just — I wanted him to like me so badly. Just felt wrong that me own dad didn’t care about me and that made me angry. And I kept that anger inside me for so long. Sometimes when I think about the baby and the future I am scared that if I have a son that anger will jump over to him. Like maybe all Tartt men are cursed or some shit like that. But if I had a little girl maybe that would make it easier for me to be a good dad. I don’t mind either way, obviously, but the idea of having a son scares me.” 

It’s the most vulnerable he’s been with her so far and by the way he clenches his jaw and grabs onto the steering wheel just a little tighter, (Y/N) can tell this isn’t easy on him. It means a lot that he shares this part of him with her anyway. It feels like they are actually becoming friends. So opening up to him in return is only half as horrifying. 

“When I was a kid, maybe 11 or 12, I wrote a short story for school and I won an award. They did this big ceremony thing where the 3 finalists got to read their stories out loud for an audience and then receive their prizes. My mum didn’t show up, not sure if it was because she stayed longer at the office and didn’t care enough to leave on time or if she just didn’t feel like getting out of the house. Point is, she wasn’t there. When I came home that night I was sad, obviously, and I was also pissed. Because why the fuck couldn’t she take one night off to come see me succeed at something even if it wasn’t something she deemed worthy of praise. 

So I yelled at her and I’m sure I said some hurtful things. But I was so devastated and angry and I needed an outlet for once. She called me ungrateful but I was used to that, she always called me ungrateful. Then she looked at me with that look of absolute resignation and malice and she said that she hopes I have a daughter like me one day and that she makes me realize how hard it is to love me. 

When I think of the baby, sometimes I see a little girl too. One that I will love so much she never has to doubt it for a single second. And I will also prove my mother wrong. Because it will be so easy to love my little girl and it would’ve been so easy to love me, her little girl.” 

It’s the first time she’s ever said those words out loud. Truly, (Y/N) had not expected for them to come out in an Aston Martin, on the way to meet her baby’s father’s mother but life doesn’t seem to care for plans very much these days.

Softly, as if to not startle her, Jamie places his hand on hers, squeezing gently.

“I think your mum is a right bitch.” 

“Thanks. I think your dad is a huge asshole.” 

“We’re gonna be better than them, right?” 

It’s not really a question. It’s more of a promise.

“We will. I know it.”

His hand doesn’t leave hers for a good long while. 

The nerves don’t hit her until they pull up to the quaint little house with the white front. There’s a rose bush to the side and some kids playing football just across the way. The nerves don’t hit her until Jamie puts the car in park but when they do, they hit her like a freight train.

“Woah, you alright?” 

“Huh?” 

“You look all pale and like you’ve seen a ghost or something. Do you have to puke?”

A chuckle falls from her lips at the absurdity of it all. In all honesty, she’s not met a lot of parents yet but the few she did meet were parents of actual partners. People she had been dating for a while. It was a natural progression of steps. This is all wrong and sideways and topsy-turvy. You’re supposed to meet the mum first and then get pregnant. 

Again with the life and the plans. 

“I’m fucking nervous.” 

“Hah,” Jamie laughs. The audacity of this guy. “You’re nervous to meet my mum? Why? She’s an angel.”

“Do you not know how intimidating that is? Like, if she was shit I wouldn’t care but she sounds wonderful and I want her to like me. No, I need her to like me. Desperately. And I can only imagine what she thinks of me already. Some floozy who gets knocked up and really just wants your money.” 

Before she even fully realizes what’s happening, (Y/N) feels Jamie’s hands on her cheeks, framing her face in warmth.

“Calm down, please. I promise it’ll be alright. My mum will love you, I know it. Probably more than she loves me. Actually no that’s a lie, but she will love you and she will love our baby. Promise.”

“She’s not gonna judge me for — you know. Getting pregnant even though we’re not dating or anything.” 

“My mum was married to my dad, worst person on planet Earth. Don’t think she’s in any position to judge you. It’ll be alright, trust me.” 

She hardly knows this man and yet she can’t help but do just that. Trust him.

The first thing (Y/N) notices about Georgie is her smile. A smile that is so familiar because it looks exactly like Jamie’s smile. Warm and radiant and true. A part of (Y/N) hopes that their baby inherits that same smile. Partially because it’s a really good smile and partially because maybe that could help Jamie realize that he is more than the sum of his father’s problems and mistakes. He is all his mother’s boy.

“Oh, I missed you, my baby.” 

Georgie wraps her arms around Jamie’s middle, getting swallowed by his frame for a moment. There’s no denying that part of (Y/N)’s heart breaks a little seeing how loving of a relationship these two have and wondering where she and her own mother went wrong.

And as it so happens with so many kids that have never been loved quite the way they deserved, (Y/N) can’t help but search for the problem in herself. 

“Yeah sorry for not visiting earlier. You know how it is with training and stuff.” 

“Don’t worry about it. I know my boy is busy being a star.” 

The words hold a slight mocking, never mean but in the way that only people who are close can tease each other. You know every word comes laced with deep affection, with pride, with love.

“And it’s so nice to meet you too. I’m Georgie.” 

It takes a second for (Y/N) to realize that Jamie’s mum is now talking to her directly.

“I uh — oh thank you. Nice to meet you too, I’m (Y/N).” 

Georgie smells like mint chewing gum and floral perfume as she pulls (Y/N) into a hug. She’s soft and gentle and it’s been the first hug from a mother (Y/N) has received in quite some time.

“Sorry, didn’t even ask if you’re a hugger.”

“Oh that’s alright, don’t worry about it.” 

She’s not a hugger, never really was, but there is something about Georgie granting her some affection that isn’t all that bad. Maybe their kid can have at least one grandmother who cares and who isn’t completely disgusted by the idea of showing any kind of positive emotions.

“Jamie never brings girlfriends around so I’m a bit out of my element here if I’m being honest.” 

“Mum we’re not — she’s not.” Jamie takes a big breath before starting again “(Y/N) and I are friends, yeah? Told you about it on the phone.” 

“Right, right. Well, you don’t bring around a lot of friends either so same difference, really. Now come inside will you, I’m sure we got a lot to catch up on.”

Oh if only she knew how true that sentiment really is.

There are pictures of Jamie staring back at (Y/N) from every corner of the house and Georgie leads them through the hallway and towards the kitchen. Every wall and every shelf holds a memory of him at one point in his life. Gap toothed with a football in hand smiling, surrounded by a field of tulips arm wrapped around his mother’s shoulder, his teenage self smoldering at the camera with an even more questionable haircut than the one he is sporting right now. Oh to be loved in a way that every past version of you is being remembered.

As they reach the kitchen a sweet scent fills the room when a man clad in an apron turns around and faces them with a huge smile playing on his face. He has a dorky kind of charm to him that immediately puts you at ease. Maybe it’s just the frilly apron, maybe it’s the big oven gloves, maybe it’s the smile. Either way, (Y/N) thinks that if they take the news well, her kid might have truly lucked out on one side of the grandparents department. 

“Jamie, welcome home.” 

“Hi Simon, thanks, mate. Glad to be back. This is (Y/N).” 

“The friend, right.” Simon says and shoots Georgie a look that neither of them misses. Subtlety doesn’t seem to be one of his best qualities. “It’s nice to meet you, (Y/N).”

“Nice to meet you too. It smells amazing in here.” 

“I found this new recipe for honey blondies. Not sure if they'll be any good but I guess we'll find out. If you guys want to go have a seat, I'll come bring them over.”

“Actually,” Jamie speaks up while nervously fiddling with his hands. “I was hoping we could have a talk before we do anything else. There’s something I need to tell you both.” 

Imagining the hypothetical scenario of telling your mum you’re having a baby and actually doing it really are two completely different things it seems. Gone is all of Jamie’s confidence and replaced with a whole lot of anxiety. 

“You're worrying me, Jamie. What has you acting so serious? Did you get someone pregnant or something?”

Georgie's words are followed by a thick awkward silence. It's heavy and suffocating and it makes (Y/N) feel uneasy in both her heart and her head.

It doesn't take long for Jamie’s parents to realize what his silence means. Everything communicated by not saying a single word.

“Oh, fuck.”

And there's nothing to add to Georgie's reaction. It's the exact same one (Y/N) had when she first saw those faint blue lines.

Of all the possible outcomes and ways this day could’ve gone, (Y/N) had not expected to find herself staring at not only a curly-haired Roy Kent but also come face to face with two very persuasive arguments belonging to no other than Keeley fucking Jones. 

“This is surreal.” 

The posters stare back at her all crinkled paper and bleached ink, as if to mock her silently. 

“Ah, well I told them to redecorate when I moved out, think they just haven’t gotten around to it yet.” 

A light dusting of pink settles on the apples of Jamie’s cheeks as well as the tips of his ears. This man can’t hide his emotions for the life of him. It’s quite adorable really. 

“Do they know?” 

“Does who know?” 

“Roy and Keeley. Do they know you have their pictures up in your room?”

“Well no and It’s not my room anymore, is it? ‘S not like I have ‘em hanging at home. Put these up ages ago.” 

A giggle slips through (Y/N)’s lips at his desperate attempt to talk himself out of this situation. 

“It’s okay, Jamie. I won’t tell.” 

“There’s nothing to tell, alright?” he responds in mock offense before sitting down on his childhood bed next to (Y/N). “Just liked boobs and football and those two were the best those fields had to offer, yeah? Can’t really blame me.” 

“Not much has changed has it?”

He shrugs his shoulders in response “Nah. Still like boobs and football but no way I’d put up a poster of granddad’s ugly mug nowadays.”

From the few times they talked about his job, including his teammates and coaches, (Y/N) was able to gather that Jamie’s relationship with Roy is something special. Odd, but special. Maybe that’s what happens when you end up working with your childhood idol. Either way, no matter how much shit he likes to talk about him, it’s clear that Jamie respects and admires Roy a great deal still.

“And uh — and Keeley?” 

“What about her?” 

“Is she — are you — how are things?” 

She still remembers that crestfallen look on his face on the day of the funeral. That infinite sadness in his eyes. She hadn’t put two and two together at that moment but later that night it all clicked. Keeley was the woman he was in love with, the woman who did not love him back. And while (Y/N) knows that she and Jamie are only bound together by happenstance and fate — if one chooses to believe in that, and that there is nothing romantic about their situation, it does sting a little to know that the man you’re having a baby with is in love with someone else.

“We’re good. We’re friends, think that’s all we’ll ever be. Her and Roy, they’re happy and I don’t want to ruin it for either of them. Keeley and I just were not right together.” 

“And you’re okay with that?” 

He nods his head, a small smile playing on his lips “Yeah, I’m alright with it. If I hadn’t made a fool of myself at the funeral then you and I wouldn’t have — you know, and then we wouldn’t be having a baby. Little Kidney Bean.” 

“That’s true. Your mum seemed excited.” 

“Hah, sorry about her. She can be intense.” 

Intense might be the understatement of the century. It took her approximately 2.3 seconds to get over the initial shock of the announcement and really process it before Georgie let out a scream of pure excitement and joy and wrapped both Jamie and (Y/N) up in her arms. She didn’t fully let go for a good 20 minutes. It was intense. It was also phenomenal.

“Don’t apologize. I am so glad she took it so well, Simon too. At least now I’ll have the certainty that my baby will have one set of loving grandparents at least.” 

“Hey,” Jamie says and nudges her shoulder with his “We’ll sort out telling your mum next, okay. I’m sure it’ll go better than you think. And if not we can always call up my mum for some more hugs and a pep talk. Whatever happens, you won’t have to do it alone. I promise.” 

For what is probably the first time in her life (Y/N) lets herself believe that there truly is someone else having her back, undisputedly and all the way. It’s unfamiliar. It’s a little scary. It’s also wonderful.

“Thanks, Jamie. I appreciate it, I really do. Think so far we’re doing alright, huh?” 

“I’d say so. Two sexy parents and a little Kidney Bean.” 

Their laughter echoes through Jamie’s childhood bedroom for quite a while longer until at some point it stills and gives room to soft breathing and quiet snores. The bed isn’t meant for two grown adults and really Jamie truly meant to sleep on the couch but somewhere between talks of baby clothes and childhood memories, eyes grew heavy and tired, and soon enough both of them are fast asleep.

Just them and their little Kidney Bean 

— and a curly-haired Roy Kent 

— and Keeley’s boobs.

taglist (@ me if you want to be taken off or added): @captainfrisbee - @scaramou - @mischiefmanaged71 - @rexorangecouny - @respondingtoshowerthoughts-blog - @tweasley20 - @dreamtrydoforkinggood - @oxxolovemelikeyoudooxxo - @heletsmelovehim - @snubug - @katdahlali - @oldglitterstory - @lalla-04p - @aiyaiy

[homerforsure]

Ahem: 2

Tour Guide!Buck

My beloved ♥️

💗💗💗 I love him so. This maybe got away from me a little bit sorry about that.

Once he glues himself to Buck’s side, Patrick doesn’t seem to have any trouble at all maneuvering the segway (though he still wobbles at every single street corner, making Buck reach out to steady him.) Eddie scowls at him from near the back of their small group, unable to even feel smug about his own superior driving skills when he still feels incredibly silly about even being on a segway in the first place. He reminds himself that he’s not here for history or for the sound of Buck’s laugh. All that matters are street signs, short cuts and landmarks so Eddie focuses his attention on the shapes of the buildings he’s passing by, trying to imagine where he is in relation to home, to the station, and how he might find his way back again on a less embarrassing mode of transportation. 

They pass Staples Center and LA Live, the Convention Center and the Grammy Museum. The big clock in Grand Hope Park helpfully reminds Eddie just how long he’s going to be trapped in his own personal hell and he wonders if Buck would get in trouble if one of his tour guests ditched their segway a quarter of the way through and caught an uber back home. 

Not that it’s Buck’s fault. He’s just as charming as ever, full of enthusiasm and stories and endless patience for what is, Eddie thinks, one of the most irritating groups he’s ever been part of. Patrick, with his giggly faux-clumsiness and obvious flirting, isn’t even the worst of it. His friends pay even less attention to the tour than he does, missing traffic signals, talking loudly about where they’ve been drinking so far and where they’re going to be drinking tonight, weaving through the crowds on the sidewalk instead of keeping to the neat line Buck tries to herd them into. The middle aged couple stuck in the middle of all of it are growing more annoyed as the trip goes on, the husband calling loudly for Buck to repeat himself and both of them muttering about having had much better tours in San Diego.

It’s deliberately loud enough that Buck hears it and, after pointing out the path for Patrick, drops back to ride beside them for a while. 

“Ray! Katherine! Are you guys having a good time?” he asks, his smile bright and inviting. 

Katherine wobbles on her segway as it goes over a bumpy piece of sidewalk and lifts a hand to hold her wide brimmed hat on her head, “I think we’re a little lost.”

“I missed most of what you said back there,” Ray adds. “About the fires at the library.” 

“Would you mind telling us again?” 

“No, no, of course not. I’ll start from the beginning.”

“Buck!” Patrick yelp-laughs from the front of the group. “I think this thing is acting up again.” 

Somehow, Buck manages not to react. He pauses, seeming to Eddie like he’s holding his breath in order to hold off saying any of the things he’s actually thinking, and then Buck sighs and answers, “Just keep it steady, Pat. You’re doing great.” 

“I don’t remember where you said to turn!”

This time Eddie cringes too and tries not to imagine running Patrick off the road and into a bush. He’s just a dumbass kid after all. He’ll be embarrassed about this someday. Hopefully.

“Forget it,” Ray says. “I’ll just google it when we get back to the hotel.” 

“No, don’t do that! We’ll- we’ll stop up here and rearrange everybody. I’ll talk about the arson and we’ll make sure that you don’t miss anything else, okay?”

Exchanging a glance with each other, the couple tartly replies, “Fine.” 

“Awesome. Thank you,” Buck says. 

Before he glides back to the front of their caravan, Buck turns his head to look at Eddie. His mask falters for the first time, revealing stress and irritation and the kind of resignation that comes from realizing that you’re the only cat herder in a room full of cats and no backup is coming. 

A tiny furrow appears between his brows as he asks, “Are you doing alright back here, Eddie?”

And suddenly Eddie is. He can’t not be when Buck is trying so hard and wants all of them to be doing alright. The bad mood drops away, softening the line of his shoulders and his grip on the handlebars, and Eddie nods back, “Don’t worry about me. I’m having a great time.”

[theghostpinesmusic]

Goose put on a hell of a show for the two-night stand at Hampton Coliseum that was this year's Goosemas. I'll admit, though, that I struggled a bit to appreciate the second, third, and fourth sets as much as they probably deserved because the first set was, in my opinion, basically perfect. I had a similar "problem" with this year's US fall tour: I saw six (!) shows in a row in person, but my first show was Montana, which is a serious contender for the best show of the year. I thought four of the next five shows were also great (Spokane didn't click with me, but I loved the venue and having a show in my adopted PNW "hometown"), but nothing entirely stacked up to the first night, and it took awhile to adjust my expectations.

So, yes, while Goosemas was great overall, it was a weird run to watch from the couch because it felt like it peaked at the start. That said, what a peak! This mirror-themed set is five songs: a theme-appropriate, well-played "Earthling Or Alien?"; a "mirror" mashup of both arrangements of "All I Need?" with an amazing bliss jam, the "mirrored" "Tumble" I covered in my last post, a great cover of Michael Jackson's "Man In The Mirror"...and a twenty-plus-minute-long jam of Justin Timberlake's "Mirrors."

Yeah, you read that right.

Unlike most of my Goose jam posts, I'm not going to start by introducing the song here: it's a JT song, it's a billion times popular than any Goose song you probably know it already, and I don't know much about JT's music that a cursory Google search couldn't also tell you anyway. So let's just jump into it.

Before we get to the jam proper, the first thing I love about this cover is that the band (in my opinion) absolutely nails the song itself. I mean, I'm sure anyone who is totally in love with JT's music and has never heard of Goose is going to find it lacking, but within their own particular sound, I think the band does a great job with it.

Watching live, it took me until the second chorus to realize where I'd heard the song before, then I started laughing like a maniac. I love that busting out a bunch of (mostly) surprising covers like this one is what the band chose to do for their biggest two shows of the year/their careers so far.

Then, after Rick's anthemic outro solo that starts at 4:45, the band moves into a synth-y jam space at 5:55. Watching live, I started laughing even harder: like, they're not only going to cover JT, they're going to jam out the song?!

Yes. Yes, they are.

The initial space here is slow, deliberate, and a little murky due to the background synth. Peter moves pretty quickly over to the Vibe, which makes things a bit more melodic, and Rick adds some growl to his tone in response. The interplay here between them and Trevor is fantastic, if sparse. Rick is playing more notes here, but the super-heavy reverb'd tone from Peter really dominates the feel of the jamming.

Pete lays back a bit starting at 10:15 and Rick takes a bit more of an assertive role. The Sinister Factor gets dialed up a bit more. One neat detail of this section is the riff that Rick starts playing repeatedly at 11:20, which you can hear Trevor pick up at 11:45 when Rick moves on to the next idea.

As usual, maybe my dumb ears deceive me, but I hear a key change (or at least a scale change from Rick) at 12:16. This moves us out of sinister territory (mostly), and causes Peter to throw out a few siren sounds. I feel like you know we're officially way out there when Peter starts breaking out the siren.

At 13:45, Rick mixes things up again, and Ben follows along with him. This is a neat move that speeds things up and really brings the percussion forward in the jam for the first time. Peter also switches over to what I think of as his xylophone patch, which always makes my day. Synth loops and xylophone patches? Yes, please. There's something particularly fun and unique about the juxtaposition of Pete's "xylophone" and Rick's grungy, bluesy tone here.

It sounds like Rick teases something briefly at 16:37, but I can't tell what. It might just sound a little like "What's the Use?" to me. Shortly after this maybe-tease, the band goes full speed ahead and Rick goes nuts for a bit as Peter switches to organ washes. We crash into a really peaky section starting at 18:28.

Normally, this would be the culmination of a big jam like this one, but instead the band takes off into another space after the peaks, slowing things down again at 19:50. Pete lays down some bluesy piano that Rick chops away under. Though the spotlight is visually on Peter here, I feel like this is actually the most locked-in the whole band is during the jam. I love what Trevor is playing, and the (relatively) minimal drums add to the jam rather than subtracting to it.

My only complaint about this entire performance is that the last minute of the jam (with Peter's bass piano riff and the tempo slowdown) is so badass that I'm sad they only stuck with it for a minute. The quick ending is neat, though.

And that's the story of how Goose jammed a Justin Timberlake song!

[thetravellingvagrant]

Day 8: In Which I Everyone Can Just Fuck Off

Lemme tell ya, I needed an easy day today. Not quite a rest day as, to be honest, I really hadn't seen a lot of Seville thus far and I really wanted to, but a nice relaxed day doing a small, light walk around the city sounded like just the ticket.

I got up (at a vaguely respectable time and everything), hurled myself down my bunk bed ladder, which it is possible to descend gracefully, quietly and painlessly, but you're only allowed to pick two and set about constructing a walking/cultural tour of the city, a la Larry.

As it turned out, I actually *had* seen quite a lot of the city on the previous days excursion. A huge amount of the “what's worth seeing in Seville” entries on various websites were ones I had either passed yesterday or was incredibly close to passing, almost without exception. The interesting, touristy places seemed - quite easily - all crammed into one little segment of the city. That'll make a nice easy walk, surely? *Surely?!*

I pieces a route together - an hour and a half long, by Google's estimations, which I had, over the past two days, begun viewing with a not insignificant degree of suspicion. That would be fine. Wouldn't it? *Wouldn't it?!*

I set out into the city, again opting to use the subway rather than face walking for hours in the rain and mud and the wrath of “that” donkey…, hoping that it would be substantially less busy than it had on constitution day, yesterday. It wasn't. It was more busy if anything. Great.

This proved to be a theme of the day - Seville is just…busy, I think. I'm here in December and it's still mobbed; I shudder to think how crammed full of dullards it would be in the summer months.

The day was hot and I was sweaty and tired. I possibly had a stomach bug, a sinus infection and definitely had hurty bones. The last thing I wanted was to drown in a sea of tourists, but here I was: drowning. 

I understand that when you go to tourist attractions, there will be tourists - I'm not an idiot - but god damn, I really didn't expect this many people, especially in winter.

Go home, idiots.

I walked, first, through an okay, if incredibly busy park

This is like the one moment I got to myself the entire day

Then on to the city’s cathedral, which really defined the term “incredibly busy” for me

Hey, neat! I hope you all choke.

Before toying with a visit to the Indian archives which was supposed to be quite neat, though had a security guard frisking people at the door, which I would hate on days that weren't shaping up to be a sweaty, sensory nightmare already, so I left it.

I then stopped to take a very quick picture of the tower of gold

Cool, whatever.

But at this point, I had become tired, hungry and furious; sick to the back teeth of children absent mindedly wandering into my path and herds of fat American tourists, walking five abreast down narrow streets arbitrarily stopping to point their pudgey little sausage fingers at something, or nothing, going “hey, neat”, so I stopped for lunch. Waiting for a space to open up on a riverside wall, for me to sit on, grumbling as I munched through, what it had to be said, were pretty good sandwiches. This too, brought me very little peace as I was immediately beset upon by a gang of very insistent pigeons. I can't even get any space away from the fucking wildlife in this place. Ahh!

Just fuck off!

I tried my best to reset myself with a nice lunch, but sadly, I simply hadn't be able to. I wasn't having fun and so decided to bin the penultimate location of the day, the mushroom of Seville, which was a weird mushroom looking building that you could climb up for excellent arial views of the city, but was twenty minutes walk in the wrong direction, cost three euros to climb and would involve doing lots of stairs. In the bin it goes.

I walked, unhappily, then through the Triana district of the city, which was, shockingly, also very touristy, to get to a nice looking park, named Parque De Los Principes. I arrived and to my genuine delight, the place was all but deserted. I walked into my new fortress of solitude and, for the first time that day, was able to actually relax. I took a deep breath and stretched my crumpling spine out and…was immediately body checked by a lone jogger. Nevermind. I'm going home.

I made my way out of the park, which did involve having to walk through it, which I did begrudgingly enjoy

It's fine.

Straight back onto the tube, on which I did not get a seat, before facing the twenty minute slog back to the apartment, where I stayed, alone and absolutely furious for the rest of the night. They can't all be zingers.

…also tomorrow is going to be spent either on a bus or resting, so it won't be a zinger, either. Deal with it.

[bgallen]

Pink grasshoppers, reading children's books, Six Triple Eight, and more...a Friday List

Happy Friday!

I hope that you have had an enjoyable week with hopefully decent weather. I know that in many places this week the weather has been devastating. I have compiled a list for you to enjoy and as always I hope that you find one or two things to enjoy. I have also added some podcasts that I have been enjoying as well as a new to me book that I’ve begun.

 May your weekend be one of rest, activity, joy, and calm – whatever it is that you need in this moment.

 ·       Why adults should read children's books - BBC Culture, “So it's to children's fiction that you turn if you want to feel awe and hunger and longing for justice: to make the old warhorse heart stamp again in its stall.”

 ·       Texas Author Reunites with TikToker Who Made Him Bestseller (people.com), what a neat story!

 ·       The Pink grasshopper - Erythrism (roeselienraimond.com), oh my I have never seen one of these and didn’t know it was possible for them to be pink. It would seem more likely to find one of these in Alice in Wonderland than out and about in real life. Here’s another beautiful one, Anglesey: Rare pink grasshopper spotted in garden - BBC News

 ·       Six Triple Eight: The battalion of black women erased from history - BBC News, how incredible! Such an impressive accomplishment and I am so glad they are finally being recognized as they should have been. Tyler Perry is currently filming a Netflix film about them with Kerry Washington starring as well as producing in it.

 ·       Sounds of Motown (A cappella Medley) - Kings Return - YouTube, I really enjoy Kings Return…harmonizing is impeccable and covering Motown?! Even better.

 ·       DREAMIN' WILD Trailer (2023) Casey Affleck - YouTube, this looks to be a really great film.

 ·       Tiny Octopus Gets So Excited When His Diver Friend Comes To Visit Him | The Dodo - YouTube, oh my goodness – this is the sweetest little mollusc (yes I did have to google that.) I am always fascinated when animals interact with humans that aren’t animals that we keep as pets.

 ·       Elizabeth Cotten - In the Sweet By and By - YouTube, Learned something new today…”cotten picking” was created by Elizabeth. She was left-handed so she played her right-handed guitar upside down, which apparently is not the easiest thing to do.

 ·       Woodland (2020) – Sarah Anne Johnson, I saw Sarah Anne’s art on a house tour on youtube and fell in love with this Woodland series that she has. This is what she has to say about the series, “ I then transformed the photographs with paint, metal leaf, holographic tape, photo-spotting ink, and photoshop to create a more honest image that reflects my personal experience with the landscape.” I once had a friend tell me how she edited her photos so beautifully and she said the same thing as Sarah Anne, she edits the photo to appear in the photo as her own eyes and mind experienced it in person.  

 Podcasts I’ve been binging:

·       Lionsgate Sound | Scamanda, this is an incredible story….that I can’t quite wrap my mind around. I have found that I prefer podcasts that are hosted/created by journalists. Charlie Webster did a great job researching this story along with her team and the original investigative journalist that began the work and then she does an excellent job telling the story.

·       Betrayal on Apple Podcasts, another well done podcast. Heavier material than Scamanda, well it’s a different sort of heavy. Depending on how you handle things, you may want to read up on it before you listen. Both seasons so far have been so well done. The first season is now a documentary on Hulu.

·       Huberman Lab, I just began this one today. In the episode I began listening to today, Dr. Malenka is on it discussing how the brain changes in response to learning and reward and reinforcement. Fascinating and exciting stuff!  

New book:

·       Operation Barbarossa - Jonathan Dimbleby - Oxford University Press (oup.com), the largest military operation of all time – the invasion of Russia by Germany in 1941.  

[weerentheworld]

Day 2- Boston

Things are a bit crowded in the city center this morning due to the pride parade (yay! But also oops on my part- I would have sworn I googled when the parade was so I could avoid crowds (even if they are good ones) but apparently something went awry…probably me trying to research a little too late at night). So I head further out towards the Mapparium - inside Mary Baker Eddy Library, grabbing breakfast at a random cafe on the way.

One slightly uncomfortable thing I find on arrival is that the Mary Baker Eddy Library is named for the founder of Christian Science.

Not being familiar with Christian Science or their paper the Monitor, I spend the time waiting for the next tour of the Mapparium worrying I may have given money to a cult/intolerant sect.

5 min of googling didn’t make the answer super clear btw- so at least it’s not much money? Really wish I’d realized this before deciding to visit so I could make a better decision on if the implications of the cost were worth seeing the cool thing.

Also a heads up, the lady at reception WILL assume you are either a) part of Christian Science or b) very willing to learn about Christian Science (from the very biased source of the library about the sect). Both assumptions that made me deeply uncomfortable.

The Mapparium

This exhibit turns out to only be accessible via a tour and with no photography allowed, but it’s still quite neat. Fortunately the tour is more of an audio-visual presentation built into the globe, and is free of any Christian Science talk.

This stained glass globe was built in 1935, and is visually stunning.

One really striking thing was that it hasn’t been updated since 1935, and thus has a number of countries on it that don’t exist anymore, like european colonies in africa, the USSR, Siam, etc. The proportions of the countries also look a bit different than looking at a globe since you’re effectively in the middle of a globe, looking mostly out and up rather than down.

Personally I kinda wish the suspended walkway in the middle had been left fully clear- it’s got a carpet on its floor, due to scaring folks in 1935- as it would have been neat to be able to see fully down.

The unique proportions of being inside a globe have unusual effects on the acoustics of the space. There’s a whisper gallery effect, and sounds bounce around in unexpected ways.

Read more about it here: https://www.atlasobscura.com/places/mapparium-globe-boston

[sybilius]

tag game from @historynut101, thank you!

relationship status: Very Married(TM). in two committed long term relationships with two people I love very much, and I consider myself polyam-saturated. 

favourite color: green! used to say sea foam but I like a lot of greens really.

favourite food: couldn’t pick a favourite but the food I couldn’t live without is cheese so make of that what you would.

song stuck in your head: Apparently it’s Renegades by X Ambassadors, I had to google pretty hard for this because I only know the chorus. 

last thing you googled: There was a type of pasta we used to call “ghost noodles” as kids that I was trying to explain to my wife, turns out it’s called fagottini

time: 5:41 PM. rush hour almost over so I’ll have to go to the old house One Last Time to get my rainbarrel. Rainbarrel is lucky I love it so much lol

dream trip: my wife and I want to go to Japan for our honeymoon-- it’s been a longtime dream of hers. I honestly think the dream trip would be a cool tour around with lots of neat cultural highlights and then getting to go see new Japan with my buds :D

last book you read: A Gentleman in Moscow! Finally finished, it took over a year. It’s an easy read, I’ve just been podcast-brained lately.

last book you enjoyed: That one also! it was charming enough.

last book you hated reading: Haven’t finished a book I hated in ages, luckily I don’t have to do that since all my reading is for leisure. if it sucks I Hit Da Bricks.

favorite thing to bake/cook: soup soup soup soup soup. shoutout also to curry.

most niche dislike: moths creep me out viscerally. this is unfair to them but I also hate their weird terrible torsos and the way they fly.

opinion on the circus: Should be subject to regular scrutiny on animal treatment, otherwise sounds cool and good. like cirque de soleil is pretty cool as I understand it. I’m way into pro wrestling which grew out of carny shit so I feel like certain the stuff that humans train and consent to performing is totally chill with me. 

do you have a sense of direction: my sense of direction has a sense of humor. absolutely not no

Tagging: @elphantas-hoe, @eldesperadont @girlfriendsofthegalaxy, @shiny-good-rock, @believerindaydreams, @dansedan, @jaimehwatson,  @secretcatboi if you’d like to do a lil game!

[televinita]

Books Read In 2020: The Why

In a tradition I accidentally started for myself in 2016 and now quite enjoy, at the end of the year I look back at my reading list and answer the question, why did you read this particular book?

Below, my 100 reads of 2020 are split into groups by target readership age, plus nonfiction at the end, now with a bonus note about how I heard of it. Which I probably won’t continue to do next year, but it was fun to try.

ADULT FICTION

I read each of these books because...

A Glitter of Gold - Liz Johnson. 2019. It had me at "her pirate tour business," but between the shipwreck & the museum-director love interest it was like BLOOD & TREASURE ROMANCE AU LET'S GOOO.

How I heard of it: a book blog

The Last Woman in the Forest - Diane Les Becquets. 2019.   Recommended by a dog lover; I'm down for a thriller about a woman who has a dream dog-inclusive job like this.

How I heard of it: a book blog

Good Omens - Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman. 1990. I really enjoyed the miniseries and wanted to see if the book everyone loved so much was as good (for the record: it was not. at least not if you’ve seen the miniseries first; otherwise they are probably equal).

This Is Home - Lisa Duffy. 2019. Attractive cover + I flipped it open to a random page and just liked the writing style.

How I heard of it: library

Dear Mr. Knightley - Katherine Reay. 2013. I'd had this on the back burner for a while because the MC sounded like me, and one day I got sick of not being able to find any fluffy contemporary romances with beta male heroes and decided Matthew Gray Gubler was gonna star in this one. (spoiler alert: it is a good book but that did not work)

How I heard of it: a book blog

Rubbernecker - Belinda Bauer. 2013. Criminal Minds sent me into a tailspin so I went hunting for books to cast Spencer Reid in again; the Asperger's/case-solving/difficult relationship with mother combo sounded promising. (spoiler alert: the med-student element + his social cluelessness proved too strong and I was only able to picture the kid from The Good Doctor)

How I heard of it: Googling keywords

The Swiss Affair - Emylia Hall. 2013. I got a random hankering for a student/teacher novel, and after scrutinizing the library catalog this was the only one that fit my parameters for gender, lack of adultery, and focus on romance over sex.

How I heard of it: library

Love At First Bark - Debbie Burns. 2019. I was trying to cast Wes/Jules [Dollface] in a romance novel, so I browsed through a Goodreads friend's "dog-romance" shelf and accidentally landed in a Jeid AU [Criminal Minds]. Which may or may not have been a large part of what turned me into a Jeid shipper (outside canon only).

The Mermaids Singing - Val McDermid. 1995. One final attempt to cast Reid in a novel -- a user in a Reddit post asking for this very thing suggested this, and "profiler with idiosyncracies" certainly fit.

The Wire in the Blood [and 9 subsequent novels] - Val McDermid, spanning 1997-2019. Turns out aside from being British, Reid paints onto Tony Hill EXCEPTIONALLY well, and I accidentally found myself with a little Jeid AU in the process, so obviously I read the entire series. Good crime-solving fun and all that.

Horse - Talley English. 2018. Random library pull because I connected with the writing style and it appeared to actually focus on horses.

How I heard of it: library

A Sparkle of Silver - Liz Johnson. 2018. I liked the author's other book and this was pretty much a remix of the same story, but now with a cool mansion/estate setting.

How I heard of it: looking up other books by this author

Everyone Is Beautiful - Katherine Center. 2009. Went looking for stories about strong marriages, found this on a Goodreads list of "second chance marriage" books, tripped into something like a season 9 Jim/Pam scenario. How I heard of it: Googling keywords

The Lost Husband - Katherine Center. 2013. Loved the previous book of hers I read, and the "starting life over on a goat farm" angle sounded like an ideal life to try on.

How I heard of it: looking up more from this author

The Shadow Year - Hannah Richell. 2013. Fixing up an old house?? I am THERE. Doing this in two timelines, one of which involves off-the-grid homesteading, is even better.

How I heard of it: used book sale

Mandrake Root - Janet Diebold. 1946. I needed a non-library book to bring on vacation, and after spinning in circles over what I thought would appeal to my mood in that setting, my brain randomly said "reread this one."

How I heard of it: estate sale

Path of the Jaguar - Vickie Britton & Loretta Jackson. 1989. Bought cheap for cheap thrills: a Yucatan adventure/mystery. Read now so I could get rid of it. How I heard of it: library sale

Burying Water - K.A. Tucker. 2014. The library didn't have The Simple Wild, but they DID have a book w/ an equally pretty cover that talked about a badly beaten young amnesiac (!) recovering on a horse farm (!!). What is: my top romance trope (hurt/comfort, bonus points for animals and rural setting).

How I heard of it: library

Happiness for Beginners - Katherine Center. Established quality author + summertime hiking inspiration.

How I heard of it: looking up more from this author

The Visitors - Simon Sylvester. Cool cover + setting, and a teenage protagonist usually makes adult fiction more accessible. How I heard of it: Goodreads

Becoming Rain - K.A. Tucker. 2014. I was in this companion novel solely for mentions of Alex and any people by the last name of Wells, but figured I might as well read all of it to ensure I didn't miss any. How I heard of it: looking up more from this author

The Guest List - Lucy Foley. 2020. Honestly, it just sounded like a cool thriller (and cool setting). How I heard of it: a book blog

You Deserve Nothing - Alexander Maksik. 2011. Fell down a Will/Rachel [Glee] rabbit hole and ravaged the student/teacher keyword in my library catalog again to scratch the itch.

The Haunting of Hill House - Shirley Jackson. 1959. Mom's been trying to get me to read this for years, and this time when it came up in conversation it was the right time of year, so I randomly decided to give it a shot. How I heard of it: Mom

The Walker in Shadows - Barbara Michaels. 1979. Gothic ghost story + beautiful architectural details in a historic house = yeah!

How I heard of it: Goodwill

YOUNG ADULT

People Like Us - Dane Mele. 2018. Needed an audiobook; a girls' boarding school murder mystery seemed most likely to hold my attention of the limited options. How I heard of it: Library

The Possibility of Now - Kim Culbertson. 2016. I will read anything by this author, and girl having a meltdown over a test = me. How I heard of it: looking up other books by this author

Rob&Sara.com - P.J. Petersen & Ivy Ruckman. 2004. Mostly I wanted to go back to my high school days and enjoy the format of a novel written in emails, but also, I like Ruckman. How I heard of it: used book sale

For Real - Alison Cherry. 2014. Fictional Amazing Race!! + awesome summery cover + sisters How I heard of it: library sale

The Summer After You + Me - Jennifer Salvato Doktorski. 2015. The awesome summery cover, mostly. How I heard of it: a book blog

You'd Be Mine - Erin Hahn. 2019. Gorgeous cover + the chance to vicariously follow a budding young country music star on tour for the summer.

How I heard of it: a book blog

Juniors - Kaui Hart Hemmings. 2015. The neat setting(s): a live-in guest on a wealthy estate in Hawaii. How I heard of it: Dollar store

Lion Boy's White Brother - Alden G. Stevens. 1951. Bought cheap because vintage juvenile book in a unique setting. Read now to see if I could get rid of it (NOPE).

How I heard of it: used bookstore

The O.C.: Spring Break - Aury Wallington. 2005. I keep meaning to finish this short series, and it was an easy title to count for my Mount TBR challenge.

How I heard of it: used book sale

Echo Island - Edward Karlow. 2017. Bought cheap because of the beautiful summery cover; easy read for Mount TBR so I could get rid of it. How I heard of it: library sale

Confessions of a High School Disaster - Emma Chastain. 2017. Read because of THE SUPER CUTE SUMMERY COVER (and diary format).

How I heard of it: Dollar store

Kentucky Daughter - Carol J. Scott. 1985. Working my way down the “Inappropriate Student/Teacher Relationships in YA" list because I'm in that kind of mood this year; chose this because 80s books tend to deliver the subject best*, the character reminded me of the girl in Send No Blessings, and Open Library had it. *this one was just blatant sexual harassment, though, and belonged very literally on that list

How I heard of it: Goodreads

What They Always Tell Us - Martin Wilson. 2008. I sorted the library catalog to see the oldest contemporary YA novels they still have before they get weeded, and "loner being taken under the wing of his older brother's (male) friend and falling in love with him" hit a couple of good tropes. How I heard of it: library

Bobby's Watching - Ted Pickford. 1993. Browsing around on OpenLibrary and saw they FINALLY had a copy of this book that scared me too much to finish as a kid, and which I've wanted to revisit ever since I remembered what it's called (Interlibrary Loan doesn't have it and it's Not Cheap to buy).

How I heard of it: library

Powwow Summer - Nahanni Shingoose. 2019. Always interested in modern-day Indigenous girls connecting w/ their heritage, especially if they're from my home state's tribe.

How I heard of it: a book blog

The Princesses of Iowa - M. Molly Backes. 2012. Appealing cover + heft suggesting a solid Midwestern contemporary, plus I liked the student teacher element (without a slash this time, as in "college student who is almost a teacher")

How I heard of it: library

The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants - Ann Brashares. 2001. The Second Summer of the Sisterhood - Ann Brashares. 2003.

Long-intended reread of a college fave because I wanted see Mike Vogel in the movie, and it was summer so the stars aligned. Continued because the first book was as good as I remembered. (I would have kept going but Life distracted me for a bit and by the time I was back on track, it was no longer summer) How I heard of it: I...can't remember. Am the worst!

The Distance From Me To You - Marina Gessner a.k.a. Nina de Gramont. 2015. Hiking inspiration + an appealing-sounding romance. How I heard of it: Goodreads

Where Have All the Tigers Gone? - Lynn Hall. 1989. Will read any of her books, but specifically read this one because it seemed fairly autobiographical, and I read it NOW because it seemed durable enough to take on vacation. How I heard of it: looking up books by this author

And Both Were Young - Madeline L'Engle. 1949 (text of 1983 edition w/ material from original manuscript added back). Something reminded me of its existence and I requested it because it was the only non-animal-focused vintage teen novel I could physically get my hands on before Interlibrary Loan opened back up, and I had a craving for just that.

How I heard of it: library

The Other Side of Lost - Jessi Kirby. 2018. Established quality author + throw me ALL the thru-hike novels!

How I heard of it: Goodreads

The Vow - Jessica Martinez. 2013. Perfect scenario to run an Abed/Annie [Community] AU!

How I heard of it: I want to say...an article on a book website (not personal blog this time) back in 2013.

Moon and Me - Hadley Irwin. 1981. Was just in the mood to read an 80s teen novel and this one helped me knock off a title for the Mount TBR challenge. From an author I like, w/ bonus horse content.

How I heard of it: used book sale.

Suicide Notes From Beautiful Girls - Lynn Weingarten. 2015. I bought a blind bag at the library sale and this was one of the only contemporary YA novels in it; figured I might as well read it since I'd liked a previous book of hers.

How I heard of it: Library

History Is All You Left Me - Adam Silvera. 2016.

With the Glee rabbit hole came a Klaine spiral; this was my season 4 Tragic AU dream for them and I've been saving it for a Klainey day ever since it was published. (No I am not sorry for that horrid pun.)

How I heard of it: googling keywords

The Museum of Heartbreak - Meg Leder. 2016. The cool cover/concept of a "museum" of items reeled me in; I bought a copy a while ago 'cause the library didn't have it. Read now to see if I could get rid of it (NOPE).

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Me & Mr. J - Rachel McIntyre. 2015. Student/teacher novel that looked especially appealingly tame so I'd been saving it, but then Open Library notified me it was now only available in 1-hour increments, and I got paranoid it would disappear altogether (it's not cheap to buy or available via ILL), so I wanted it in my brain.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Dear Evan Hansen - Val Emmich w/ Steven Levenson, Benj Pasek & Justin Paul. 2018. Fell in love with the DEH soundtrack. Play's summary sounded good -- getting to experience it in YA novel form?? Amazing.

How I heard of it: Wikipedia

Saddle a Thunderbolt - Jo Sykes. 1967

Bought a while ago because vintage horse story. Read now specifically to alleviate my pre-homesickness about moving by imagining living in an even more beautiful place than home.

How I heard of it: either a used book sale or a used bookstore...

Learning to Breathe - Janice Lynn Mather. 2018. This was mentioned on a lost-book forum and "girl with unplanned pregnancy supports herself by getting a job cleaning" piqued my interest; the setting (Bahamas) and cover made it better.

How I heard of it: Reddit

Everglades Adventure - James Ralph Johnson. 1970. Standard vintage boys' adventure-in-nature story; I like those.

How I heard of it: Goodwill

CHILDREN’S/MIDDLE GRADE

Little Women - Louisa May Alcott. 1868. Seeing the new movie and falling head over heels was what it took to FINALLY convince me to reread this childhood fave.

How I heard of it: can't remember; I was a kid

A Little Princess - Frances Hodgson Burnett. 1905. I was perusing a lot of books about classic children's books and it started to bug me that I had skipped this appealing-sounding one as a kid.

How I heard of it: can't remember; I was a kid

Little Men - Louisa May Alcott. 1871. LW sparked a fandom revival and I wanted more detail about the Marches' adult lives (esp. Jo & Bhaer), even on the fringes.

How I heard of it: library

Lady and the Tramp - Ward Greene. I saw a quote from the new movie under a gifset on Tumblr that sounded like it came from a book, and upon Googling out that one existed, I obviously could not allow the book version of a beloved childhood animal-movie fave to go unread. Especially after finding out it was super rare so reading it would be a privilege.

The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett. 1910. Read for the same reason as A Little Princess. Can’t have one without the other, you know.

How I heard of it: was a kid; can't remember

The Mother-Daughter Book Club - Heather Vogel Fredericks. 2007. Much Ado About Anne - Heather Vogel Fredericks. 2008.

Always thought the series looked cute/reminded me of The Teashop Girls, but the fact that the first book they read is Little Women gave me the impetus to finally read this one. First book was darling so I continued to the next (but failed to continue beyond because COVID shut the library down until I was out of the mood).

How I heard of it: library

Nature Girl - Jane Kelley. 2010. I wanted walking inspiration.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

From You to Me - K.A. Holt. 2018. Mistook it for a similar-looking book I'd seen at the same time (See You On A Starry Night), but figured I'd give the 8th grade bucket list idea a shot once I had it. How I heard of it: Goodreads

Semiprecious - D. Anne Love. 2006. Cute cover + I'm starting to be a big fan of what I call "contemporary historical," for stories set mid-20th century.

How I heard of it: library

Dandy's Mountain - Thomas Fall. 1967. Vintage horse-inclusive children's book in a rural setting, I'm sold. Not to mention, love reading a summer setting in summer.

How I heard of it: used book sale

Littler Women: A Modern Retelling - Laura Schaefer. 2017. The only way to make the Little Women MORE magical is to make them younger, modern, and written by a proven quality author.

How I heard of it: a book blog

Behind The Attic Wall - Sylvia Cassedy. 315 pg/1983.

A Goodreads friend strongly recommended it as similar to but better than Mandy, and reading about it in 100 Best Books For Children sealed the deal. Read now for the Mount TBR challenge.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

The Jigsaw Jungle - Kristin Levine. 2018. I am a COMPLETE sucker for books told in non-traditional/scrapbook-esque format.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Runt - Marion Dane Bauer. 2002. Wolf story by a quality author. Read now after owning it for a decade to see if I could get rid of it.

How I heard of it: used book sale

The King of the Cats - Rene Guillot. 1959. Bought cheap for a quick read because vintage animal story. Read now so I could get rid of it.

How I heard of it: used book sale

Just The Beginning - Betty Miles. 1976. Found cheap; always down to read a vintage book about an average girl (and I wanted to know how she'd cope with her mom being "a cleaning lady in a town full of classmates who HAVE cleaning ladies").

How I heard of it: used book sale

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone - J.K. Rowling. 1997. Been meaning to reread the series for a while now; finally got motivation to check out the illustrated edition 'cause Christmastime.

How I heard of it: originally Mom; a book blog for this edition

Echo Mountain - Lauren Wolk. 2020. Almost entirely because of the incredible clipart cover, promising me nature and a dog (and because I could get it as an e-audiobook from the library).

How I heard of it: a book blog

Knock Three Times - Cressida Cowell. 2019. I needed another audiobook for bedtime/walks and I know that David Tennant will provide.

How I heard of it: more by this author (more accurately, narrator)

NONFICTION

The Red Leather Diary: Reclaiming A Life Through The Pages Of A Lost Journal - Lily Koppel. 2008. I'm kind of obsessed with the concept of historical 5-year diaries -- and finding one like this is The Dream.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

I'd Rather Be Reading: The Delights and Dilemmas of the Reading Life - Anne Bogel. 2018. Attractive and compact book about the pleasures of being a reader? A headspace I want to be in.

How I heard of it: library

100 Best Books for Children - Anita Silvey. 2004. I'm big on looking at lists of books for children this year. These are the kind of books I know, love, and want to hear people talk about, now that I know books about these books exist.

How I heard of it: library

The Coming of Saska - Doreen Tovey Originally bought because it was cheap and featured animals, I needed a non-library book to bring on vacation, and this one is a durable ex-library copy in plastic wrap that featured a similar setting to where I was going, so: thematic.

Cats in the Belfry - Doreen Tovey. 1957. Wanted more of her books, and lo and behold the library had the first one.

How I heard of it: more by this author

Sorry Not Sorry - Naya Rivera. 2016. I'll read anything the Glee kids write, and this doubled as an easy number for the Mount TBR challenge.

How I heard of it: entertainment news websites

Living Large in Our Little House - Kerri Fivecoat-Campbell. 2016. I love tiny houses. And this one specifically mentioned living with dogs. And had color photographs.

How I heard of it: used bookstore

I'm Your Biggest Fan: Awkward Encounters and Assorted Misadventures in Celebrity Journalism. - Kate Coyne. 2016. Found cheap at a library sale -- loved the chapter headings and the fact that they were all about celebrities I knew.

Adrift - Tami Oldham Ashcraft w/ Suesea McGearheart. 1998/2018 edition. The movie was so awesome that I couldn't wait for more details about the real story in her own words.

I'll Be Gone In The Dark [NF] - Michelle McNamara. 2018. Been reading a lot of true crime write-ups on Reddit lately; decided it was time to pick up this well-received one.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Dear Evan Hansen: Waving Through A Window - Steven Levenson. 2017. Much like The Grimmerie for Wicked, once I fell in love with the DEH soundtrack and looked up the plot summary, I wanted to read the musical's detailed background/behind the scenes story + libretto before I watched it.

How I heard of it: Wikipedia

Empty Mansions: The Mysterious Life of Huguette Clark and the Spending of a Great American Fortune - Bill Dedman & Paul Clark Newell. 2013. Love me a story about a mansion (or three). Or the reclusive and insanely wealth heiress who owns them, that works too.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

JUVENILE NONFICTION Mascots: Military Mascots from Ancient Egypt to Modern Korea - Fairfax Downey. 1954. Animal book from an author I like; read now to see if I could get rid of it (yes).

How I heard of it: secondhand bookstore

Come on, Seabiscuit - Ralph Moody. 1963. Bought because vintage kids' horse book; read now to see if I could get rid of it (and to count it towards my Mount TBR challenge 'cause it was short).

How I heard of it: secondhand bookstore

[britishchick09]

sherlock s2 ep 3 livewatch

it’s time for the sherlock s2 finale! i’ve been keeping lockie alive for as long as possible, but I can’t stall any longer. let’s fall into the reichenbach!

here it is:

the last masterpiece ep! :D

it begins with rain! *beatles ‘rain’ plays*

john’s back with the therapist from study in pink! :o

does this take place after the fall and the rest of the ep is a flashback?

it’s been 18 months!

john called tv ‘telly’:)

OMG HE’S CHOKING UP NO POOR BBY :’(

he called sherlock ‘my best friend’ IN THE SADDEST VOICE IN THE WORLD :’(

john: “sherlock holmes... is dead.” or is he? ;)

BAM INTRO!

guy: “falls of the reichenbach...” you dodged a credit roll with that one! ;)

sherlock: “diamond cufflinks. all my cufflinks have buttons.” john: “he means ‘thank you’. ...just say it.” awww what a parent :)

sherlock isn’t one for thanks and publicity!

the iconic hat! :D

EVERYONE WANTS HIM TO PUT THE HAT ON

he reluctantly put the hat on:)

the transitions from a scene to a newspaper is so cool! :D

john’s tabloid nickname is BACHELOR OMGGGGGG

john: “what do they mean by that?” oh you know what that means buddy ;)

CONFIRMED BACHELOR OMGGG VICTORIAN GAYYYYY!!!!!!!!!! (or in his case bi)

john: “we need to be more careful-“ johnlockers: “NO!!!!!”

sherlock is criticizing the hat lol :D

john called it the ‘sherlock holmes hat’ eyyyyy!!!!! ;D

john’s voice has a hint of deep love it ;)

there’s so many people touring at the castle! :o

this sneaky guy has this on his phone and i’m guessing that’s what all apps in the uk look like lol

OMG HE HACKED INTO THE SYSTEM

is it moiarty?

lestrade said ‘bloody ‘ell!’ and it was so british of him :D

he’s dancing to the background music YEP IT’S MOI ALRIGHT

YEET

OMG MOIARTY YOU DRAMA QUEEN

also is this an abominable bride reference? :o

john’s text notif sound sounds apple WHY

he has a windows laptop and an apple phone how chaotic

the smiley face!!!! :o

ooh cool american song playing in the background! :o

john: “ready?” sherlock: “yes” *PRESS CHATTER* how would anyone be ready for that?

sherlock wants to be himself but john’s like ‘no smartass’ LET HIM BE A SMARTHOLE JOHN

it’s the bbc! :D

OMFG A FAN FOLLOWED SHERLOCK INTO THE RESTROOM WTF

i bet johnlockers have actually done this because they were craaazyyyy back then...

THE FAN WANTS HIM TO SIGN HIS SHIRT WTFFFFF

sherlock knows she’s not a fan lol :D

wait is someone peeing in the background wtf

fan: “you and john watson, platonic, have you there as well!” mofftiss totally based this girl off of real johnlockers!!!!

can they please leave the bathroom I SWEAR SOMEONE IS PEEING BACK THERE IT’S SO AWKWARD

sherlock: “you... repel... me.” YAS!!! :D

HOLD UP what if this is mofftiss’ way of saying they don’t like johnlockers :o

now lockie’s in court bor-ing!

moiarty is a spider great metaphor sherlock! :D

judge: “how long-“ sherlock “not a good question.” lol :D

sherlock and moiarty knew each other for 5 minutes lol

who ate the wafer

SHUT UP WIG MAN LET SHERLOCK SHOW OFF

aaand he kicked them out

john: “you’re doing The Look again.” omg so married ♥

he finds The Face annoying lol MARRIEEEED

epic wallpaper! :D

OMG MOIARTY WAS CHEWING GUM DURING THE CRIME AND THE COURT THING DORK

and he looked at john... ;)

moiarty’s out and sherlock beeps john away,,,

he be making tea WITH HIS VIOLIN PLAYING YYYAAAASSSS!!!!!!!!!

omg there’s a shadow...

AN A CREAK

I KNEW IT WAS MOIARTY!!!!!!

sherlock lets him sit down wowza kind to a criminal! :o

moiarty: “every fairytale needs a good old-fashioned villain ;)” omg HE KNOWS HE’S A STORY CHARACTER AHHHH :o

moiarty to sherlock: “you need me.” no he needs john THANK YOU VERY MUCH

moiarty thinks sherlock’s boring SHUT UP FUNNY MEAN MAN >:(

moiarty: “that’s the problem... the final problem.” eyyyy roll s4 credits! :D

moiarty: “i didn’t tell you... but did you listeeeennnn?” lol sing-songy moiarty is funny :D

he’s doing the hand thing ♥

moiarty: “i own secrecy” who do you think you are bish brother

MOIARTY CALLED SHERLOCK ‘HONEY’ :o

WHY IS MOIARTY SAYING ‘DADDY’

THE FALL HE SAID THE FALLLLLLLL

sherlock: “i never liked riddles.” *maddie hatter rages in the distance*

he’s having a row with the machine again ;)

also that’s literally my dad with his card lol :D

ooh antiques roadshow! :D

john’s meeting mycroft why

OMG HE WAS TAKEN HOSTAGE

it’s just mycroft’s way of saying hello?

what happened in 1972

mycroft’s giving john an unrelated case... s1 finale flashback!

john’s loooong groan lol :D

sherlock is moiarty’s ‘only rival’... >:)

awww john fed some crumbs to birds :)

another unrelated case and lestrade is at the flat! :o

lestrade called lockie ‘a celebrity’ awww :)

SHERLOCK DON’T YELL AT THE CRYING LADY :(

oh he wanted her to ‘speak quickly’ ok

not ok but thaaat’s lockie!

it be moi...

sherlock SNIFF

sherlock: “brilliant, anderson?” anderson: “really?” sherlock: “brilliant impression of an idiot.” OHHHHH!!!!!!! :D

sherlock 2 NOW

john: “don’t do the smiling thing. kidnapped children..?” oh he always does the smiling thing! ;)

molly was going on a lunch date but sherlock said she’ll go with him and her little ‘what?’ is so cute! :D

sherlock’s like ‘look at all the fricks i give’ :D

aaand he left her!

sherlock: “the chemical footprints will lead us to moiarty!” all roads lead to rome, and all the footprints there lead to moiarty ;)

SHERLOCK CALLED MOLLY ‘JOHN’ OMG :D

b r i c k   d u s t

molly: “you’re like my dad. he’s dead- no, sorry-” lol :D

oh no molly’s telling a sad dad story :(

i can kind of see why people ship sherlock and molly they’re nice together :)

BUT JOHNLOCK IS BEST SHIP

although molly’s super awkward she’s so cute! :D

SHERLOCK GOT THE FAIRYTALE REFERENCE AFTER I DID YAS!!!!! :D

lestrade: “brick dust!” b r i c k  d u s t

he’s the google in 360 website! :D

they burst through the kidnapper’s door and it was like ‘someBODY once told me’! :D

omg mercury chocolate wrappers! :o

sherlock: “the more they ate, the faster they died... neat!” ...neat? :o

they found the kidnapped kids! :D

lestrade doesn’t want lockie to be himself awww :(

THE KIDNAPPED GIRL SCREAMED AT SHERLOCK NO :(

lestrade to sherlock: “i feel like screaming when you walk in!” ooh noice ;)

the jerk lady said sherlock was ‘unbelievable’ coolio she’s a bit nice! :D

MOIARTY HACKED THE TAXI TV OMG :o

also there are tvs in taxis OMG :o

lestrade called sherlock and john ‘csi baker street’ lol :D

moiarty’s connecting sherlock to sir bostalot hmm... ;)

hmmm....

sherlock: “what was that on the tv?” cabbie: “no charge...” *drives away* OHHHH

OMG SHERLOCK ALMOST GOT HIT BY A DAR

OMFG WAS HE ALMOST SHOT WTF WAS THAT

john to the rescue!!! :D

the guy was shot not lockie coolio

sherlock uses a mac WHYYY :(

sherlock: “dust is eloquent” mrs. hudson in a whisper: “what’s he on about???” lol :D

lockie vlogs! :D

sherlock: “this is a game, lestrade, one i’m not willing to play.” so the game is not on, then?

john: “i know you for real.” sherlock: “100%” awww :)

john: “no one could fake being suck an annoying dick all the time.” OHHHH!!!!! :D

guy: “yer a bloody idiot, lestrade!” and yer a bloody brit aren’t ya?

mrs. hudson said ‘ooh hoo’ just like oaken! :D

OMG fairytale!!!!

lestrade and the lady knocked on the door and mrs. hudson’s like ‘don’t barge in like that!’ :D

OMG THEY’RE ARRESTING LOCKIE

WHY IS THE LADY THINKING LOCKIE DID IT HE DIDN’T!!!!!

awww sherlock and john were arrested together so romantic just girly things ♥

OMG GUN SHOT????

they’re running omg!!!!!

sherlock: “take my hand!” FRICK YES

john: “people will definitely talk!” FRICK YAAAAS!!!!!!!

just two bfs running around in handcuffs ♥

they need to coordinate while getting up the stairs... easy enough for them! ;)

THEY JUMPED IN FRONT OF A VAN JUST CRIMEY THINGS ♥

i thought the van thing was part of the drunk ep in s3 but it’s cool that-

GUN SHOTS????

they let go! :o

OMG IT’S THE CREEPY FAN!!!!

moiarty: “they didn’t have any ground coffee so i just got-” *SUSPENSE CHORD* out of context that’s hilarious :D

moiarty’s richard!!! :o

wait he’s a hired actor the frick???

THE FRICK ARE THEY ACTING??????

just because it’s in print doesn’t mean it’s real...

ok technically moiarty’s an actor BUT THAT BE KNOCKING DOWN THE 4TH WALL

an actor playing a person playing an actor... wild actorception! :o

moiarty: “i’m the storyteller! it’s on dvd...” but is it on blu-ray? ;)

sherlock: “stop it STOP IT NOW!!!!” yoda seagulls...

fan: “i can read you and you... repel... me...” DON’T USE HIS LINE BOI

sherlock: “there’s only one way to complete his game...” is it on? ;)

OMG he’s admitting his feelings to molly AND HE NEEDS HER awwww!!!! :D

the sherlolly fans loved that i bet! :D

john to mycroft: “you and him go out for coffee? you and jim?” sarah z be like ‘YAS!’ :D

OMG WAIT DID MYCROFT WORK WITH MOIARTY????

mycroft tells john to tell moiarty ‘i’m sorry’ and john just gives this ‘please’ wheeze lol :D

julie albright bouncing her basketball against her bedroom wall in ‘meet julie’ (colorized)

oh CRAP

lockie’s fidgeting with the ball awwww :)

OMG MRS. HUDSON WAS SHOT THE FRICK????????

john: “she’s DYING.... you MACHINE!!!!!!” YEAH LOCKIE YOU BISH

john: “friends protect people!” true that!

THE FRICK WHY IS BEE GEEZ PLAYING

this is the music video lol :D

omg are moiarty and lockie gonna have a dance battle like in despicable me 3 lol :D

moiarty: “our final problem... stayin’ aliiiive!!!!!” HE SO PLANNED THAT

there’s about 28 minutes left will the battle take that long?

oh he turned the song off :/

aw man moiarty has to play with the ordinary people :/

MOIARTY SAID ‘atta boyyyy’ TO SHERLOCK WHYYYYYY

ooh sherlock’s doing binary code with his fingers! :D

moiarty: “first one to sherlock is a sissy” oh SHUT UP

moiarty: “there is no key DOOFUS!!!!” WOAH MAN CALM THE FRICK DOWN

“look at ALLLLL THE FRICKS I GIVE SHERLOCK!!!!”

moiarty: “nice you chose a tall building! great way to do it!” sherlock: “do- do- do what?” oh you know what lockie :(

moiarty: “i read it in the paper so it must be true!” no!!!!

john’s here for mrs. hudson!!!! :D

she seems fine tho?

moiarty: “for me? pleeeeeaaaseee?????” OMG THAT ‘PLEASE’ WAS SO HIGH LOLOLOL!!!!!!!

toss him sherlock TOSS HIM!!!!!

moiarty’s little ‘woah woah woah!’ tho :D

aww sherlock has only 3 friends :(

moiarty about sherlock kermiting: “you gotta admit that’s sexier” WUT

NOOOOOOOOO

sherlock’s breath is so shaky :(

he said ‘privacy’ like ‘pri-va-cee’ why

he’s gonna call john!!!!!

awww smile!!!! :D

he knows that this is fake right?

moiarty’s like ‘WHAT?? WHAT DID I MISS????” BOI CALM DOWWwwwwnnnn

sherlock to moiarty: “i am you. prepared to do anything.” save that line for john plz

sherlock is ‘on the side of the angels’ awww :)

moiarty said sherlock’s not ordinary RIGHT HE’S A SPECIAL SUNSHINE ANGEL

moiarty: “you’re meee!!!!!” NOT WHAT I MEANT

they’re holding hands and standing close NOOOOO

HOLY FRICK SHERLOCK JUS SHOT MOIARTY IN THE MOUTH THE FRICK THE FRACK???????

he’s not really dead right or is that just a theory

sherlock’s like ‘oh god what have i done’ SAME WHAT DID YOU DO

it sounds like the thx theme!

oh no

i know it’s not a legitimate kermiting sewerside but DON’T FREAKING DO IT

HE’S CALLING JOHN OH FRICK

HE WANTS JOHN TO SEE HIM FALL THE FRICKKKKK

sherlock: “look up, i’m on the rooftop.” ♫ up on the rooftop, click click click, HERE COMES SAD OL’ KERMIT CLAUS ♫

CRAP

sherlock: “i can’t come down so we’ll have to do it like this.” it was only a kiss :(

an apology????

‘IT’S ALL TRUE’ THE FRICK????

is this just for moiarty’s game?

sherlock sounds like he’s gonna cry NOOOOO :(((((

john: “shut up, shut up, shut up.” SAME WTF ARE YOU SAYING LOCKIE???

sherlock: “no one could be that clever. you could.” OMGGGGG

FIRST WINSTON & JULIA AND NOW SHERLOCK & JOHN WHYYYYY

sherlock sniffled omg :’(

he researched john to impress him OH MY HEART!!!!!

it’s not a trick sherlock is legit amazing!!!!!!!!

sherlock wants john to ‘keep his eyes fixed’ NOOOOOOOO

if sherlock knows this is fake he’s doing a pretty good job at it BUT WHY JUST TO PLEASE MOIARTY OR ESCAPE THE SPOTLIGHT OR WHAT

sherlock: “goodbye john.” NO

NO

NO

OH GOD THERE WAS A CRACK

if sherlock’s alive THEM HOW WAS THERE A CRACK

WAIT JOHN JUST FELL THE FRICK IS GOING ON????

john: “i’m a doctor, he’s my friend!” yes you are AND YES YOU FREAKING ARE

it’s fake he’s not really dead OH HOW I WISH I COULD TELL YOU THAT JOHNNY :(

OMG NO :’(

THE SAD VIOLIN I CAN’T

everything is slow NOOOOO

i can’t believe mofftiss made the fans wait 2 YEARS TO FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENED NEXT i know there was ‘many happy returns’ in 2013 BUT HOW DID THE FANS SURVIVE THAT LONG WITH THAT ENDING????

it’s raining now perfect

gun????

therapist: “he didn’t say it. say it now.” john: “sorry, i can’t.” he said ‘i love you’ :(

awww john and mrs. hudson! :’(

omg she’s crying no!!!! :(

john to sherlock’s grave: “you were the best man and the most human i’ve ever known.” awww :’)

john: “one more miracle for me, sherlock. don’t. be. dead.” miricale granted my friend ;)

OMG WHAT HE WAS STANDING THERE THE WHOLE TIME WITH JOHN SUFFERING LIKE THAT THE FRICK?????

that’s the end of s2! that was a much better finale than s1 and it’s definitely the best ep of the series so far. there’s a lot of exciting turns AND WHAT EVEN IS THE ENDING??? you knocked it out of the park mofftiss! i can’t wait to see what s3 has in store besides mary, drunk times and the wedding!

and to quote the blog... ‘#sherlocklives #johnwatsonlives’ ♥

[leaveharmony]

The Rate My Villagers post absolutely no one asked for: post-Rocket edition (...there is no Rocket edition)

Leopold: 

10/10 The best boy.  Leopold was my first camper, which I have now learned means he could not have been rejected even if I had intended to, but I did actually not mean to say COME LIVE HERE right away!  I was just excited to have a visitor, and also it was a Cool Lion, and he immediately reminded me of Tana.  Also he was eating a doughnut, which made him even more endearing.  I love his entire design, from the green Tana hair that sometimes from behind makes me think he’s just part of a tree and sometimes has resulted in me running up to say hello to an unrelated tree that is not in fact him, to his sleepy eyes, to his big broad nose, to his little wee Lennon glasses, to the fuzzy lil ears that MATCH his toe beans in a dazzling display of coordination that is the envy of people who merely match their bags to their shoes.  No other lions, nor smugs, will ever be required on Kentanna because the positions are 100% filled.  He has never asked to leave but if he slid the dodos seven million bells in the dead of night to fly him away they would know I’d double the fee to keep him, circle the island a few times and land back at the dock, where I’d be waiting to give him a new hat.

(Everyone else under the cut)

Big Top:

10/10 Oh my god.  The first villager I chose, if I remember correctly; when the first three plots opened up after Cobb and Rocket were assigned.  I don’t remember if he was the first one I found, but I do distinctly recall saying “Oh my god, it’s an elephant,” and being instantly delighted.  It’s funny because almost everything that irritated me about Rocket’s design is wonderful on Big Top; wearing hats over his helmets, the little green suit never coming off...I think it’s just because elephants are inherently funny.  Like the other ones on the superhero team...the cat, the squirrel, Rocket, they just look silly, but it works on Big Top because elephants can get away with anything.  Love his laid back eyes and his mouth being off to one side, excellent tail, points for traditional elephant colouring.  He is never leaving.

Cobb: 

10/10 ok listen.  Listen.  I was dealt two starters by the gods, and Rocket was a disaster, but Cobb amused me as soon as I saw him.  He’s a green pig.  That’s fantastic!  I lost my entire mind the first time I saw him sitting under a tree reading and realized that it isn’t his glasses/goggles making him look like he has blank yellow eyes...his eyes are just blank and yellow.  His snout is so enormous that when he looks down I can’t see his mouth and I cannot tell you how cute it is, but I also love how wide his mouth actually is under normal circumstances.  When he does his exercises, his left ear flops...but only the left one.  The first thing Cobb did was give me a hat; my first hat, and he has had my sword ever since.

Miranda:

10/10.  Do you even know how badly I wanted a duck, though?  It was my number one wishlist item, and one day I just crawled through that tent flap and there was a fucking pink duck in there, casual as anything about being representative of all my hopes and dreams.  She has apple cheeks!!  She’s wearing eyeshadow!  LOOK AT HER LITTLE DUCK PATOOT!  It sticks out just like that no matter what she wears 😭 When she walks on stone there are little pap pap pap noises and she prefers elegant little dresses.  I’d die for her.

T-Bone:

10/10. I forget in which order T-Bone came to us, but I do recall I’d just set up the plot and intended to go looking for someone to fill it when I realized it was Sold already.  ‘Sold already!??’  I said.  ‘How can this be, I did not authorize this!  Who the hell is T-Bone!  I shall have a stern word with that loose cannon tanuki!’  And then it was just like.  Oh he’s a bull!  And the first thing he did was compliment my dress.  His place was classy, he sounds like Tenzan which is twice as funny because he’s a bull, I like the blue/grey, his minimalist eyes are very good...I just...loved him instantly?  And I know there are several other valid crankies but tbh I look at T-Bone and it’s...my friend T-Bone, not some strange wolf or anteater or bear.  His head is peanut-shaped and I love him more than I love my own father.

Flurry:

10/10.  My first Normal villager was, and it’s kind of telling that I can never remember how to spell her name, Rhoda or Rhonda, the rhino.  I picked her!  She seemed cool I guess, kinda neat.  She was also the first to ask to leave, and since I hadn’t yet formed an emotional attachment I decided I’d let her, so it was time to go hunting.

It was raining.  Little ears appeared on the horizon, flanking a small rain hat.  She had her back to me.  “Yes, good,” I said.  “Continue.”

Flurry emerged in the gloomy light like Athena springing from the head of Zeus. I had no idea what the fuck she was.  A cub?  A really short bear?  Back then I wasn’t sure I could talk to them without inviting them and I wanted a Normal type, but I did not know her name.  A little googling later, realization dawned.

“Hamster!  HAAAAMMMMSSSTTTEEERRRRRRRR” I desperately pm’d to @breadclubrising​, who justly laughed at me.

Look at her.  She is so fucking smol.  She has no nose!  Her mouth is an inverted child’s drawing of a distant seagull.  In certain moods her eyes turn white, and one time she got mad at Big Top for spoiling her book and she was just...stomping around with steam shooting out her ears in the world’s tiniest tantrum.  Do you know how much effort it must take to stomp with legs that short??  That is my Flurry, full of determination.

Cheri:

10/10.  Cheri preceded Flurry, which was why I thought she might be a weird cub at first.  One of the initial 3 after the starters, so her house is, like Big Top and Cobb’s, all wrong on the inside.  Again, I chose her on the hunt ‘cos she met the criteria of smol and adorable and a type I did not yet have.  I am tremendously fond of her but I think I can let her move on to delight someone else who will also be totally unprepared for a small pink bear with anime eyes to stroll out from behind a tree and declare that they are a Friend.

Clay:

10/10.  I was tired, my arm was sore, I was so, so tired of taking mystery tours.  The types were all accounted for, so whoever I found would end up a secondary.  Oddly, it was raining again.   “Oh NO!” I said, when Clay turned around.

Another hamster.  Oh my god, another hamster.

Listen I want to give Roald a shot to penguin the place up, I really do.  But...the thing is...look at Clay.  Look at him!  That is his default poncho, actually, I think the only default outfit I have apart from Bree’s.  This...hippie lookin’ golem hamster, I love him.  The design is so good??  He’s a little piece of caveman pottery, only a hamster.  I love his dots, and I love that the ears are such a vivid aqua to contrast with all the neutrals.  The slit eyes are very good.  There’s no reaction that makes him do it so I cannot demonstrate but when he sings sometimes his mouth makes a perfect round ‘o’

I have lost him 84 times because he’s short and blends in with trees and cliffsides.

Pinky:

10/10 damnit lol.  Pinky was another “Ok, close enough” hunt gone terribly right.  I love that she is ENORMOUS, like I think she’s even taller than T-Bone.  She’s such a great vivid pink, her toe beans contrast so well with it...she’s a panda, what more do I even need to say?  If I was going to keep an additional Peppy after ordering Ketchup I think it’d be Pinky rather than Cheri, which is wild considering you’d think it’d be the other way around.  But I really dig how tall she is vs how tiny all the other girls are...

Bree:

9/10.  I’m not gonna lie, Bree is a stopgap measure.  It could have as easily been Norma or Judy or any of the other randoms I happened across before I got sick of looking for Muffy.

But as stopgaps go, she is a fucking stellar one, eh?  Look at that tiny little body, I could leapfrog her if I wanted to!  The size!  Of the fucking ears!  Just amazing.  She cannot face the direction of the wind lest it blow her into the sea.  Love the hair, love the big green eyes, the blush, the tail.  She is just...very pleasing overall.  The score is 9/10 only because her head is so candy corn shaped that hats just kinda sit on the top and it looks ridiculous; Rocket had the same problem but had none of the cute that makes up for it.  If I could have like,15 villagers, I may even consider keeping her, but alas she is here only until I get my mitts on some amiibos.  I will enjoy her company until then. 🥰 

[creepweirdo]

i started tgcf again, still struggling tbh but im pushing on! xue yang yi city angst is too much for my weak heart but i’d be down for some happy xue yang recs if you’ve read any! omg i love that you thought so many iconic scenes were made up by fic writers haha that’s amazing. as for cap i always say he has a lot of love to give. you can ship him with anyone tbh, i prefer him with sam but peggy and bucky are all valid! make them poly, idc. i think my proudest moment in the shadowhunters fandom

was when the author blocked me on tumblr lmao she’s such trash the show wasn’t amazing all the time but i love me some bi rep. i love your change to wwx’s parents. imagine that fam is they actually had some self worth. jyl shoving zixun into the bushes. jc and wwx more badass than the twin jades. i mean wwx’s mum went to cloud recesses so she could’ve sent baby wwx to learn still, but i like repressed lwj exploding when he met adult wwx too haha. i think for my change i’d have madam jin kill

jin guangshan as soon as he started womanizing. stop him being power hungry for the stygian tiger seal, removing jiggy (and mxy sorry baby) and a lot of the mess that follows. the jin being against the wen might stop their advance and save gusu/lotus pier as well. house cat is smart! sleeping and eating sounds like me during quarantine. well and pretending to work while watching kpop mvs. as for animals i’d be a mantis shrimp if you don’t know them google mantis shrimp oatmeal and

prepare for their punchy rainbow glory. i aspire to that level of badass! ok q's! which character would you want for your (platonic/romantic) cultivation partner! what place would you want to visit once the world gets back to normal and why? (if you had infinite money/travel options) /your talkative cc! 💜

HAHA hi my talkative classified cultivator!!

omg yes push through! you can do this ahah ❤️

yi city didn’t have to be as heart breaking as it is 💀 i read on the wiki that the yi city plot was a story that mxtx came up with when she was in high school?? and ahhhh imagine that as a fleshed out 400k heartbreaking story 💔 omg happy?? xue yang fics 😳 i’ll see what i can do LMAO i’ll put them at the end

OH MY GOD THAT IS AMAZING! that’s such an achievement!! put that on your resume: blocked on tumblr by cassandra clare (that’s her name right? she doesn’t deserve a google search ❤️)

jc and wwx had so much potential 🥺 they so would have been more badass than the twin jades ahaha!

oooo i like your changes! very smart and gets rid out our bestie’s existence 😼 nice

lmao pretending to work 💀 so true. omg the mantis shrimp!!! i’ve seen that comic 😭 they terrify me! they way that they could kill me instantly 😭😭😭 ahhh very badass and scary 😳

oooo hahaha so for my platonic cultivation partner - even though i said i would like to be from the lan sect, i think i’d want my platonic cultivation partner to be nie huaisang HAHAHA. for the reasons you said a couple of asks ago!! it would be just vibes. chilling all day and gossiping ❤️ life goals. and my romantic cultivation partner 😼 wen qing - i just think she’s neat. she would treat me right LMAO.

omg if i could travel anywhere in the world!!!! and with unlimited money! i would LOVE to do a like 12 month long art/history tour throughout europe 😭 it would be so amazing to see all the iconic classical artworks - especially artworks from the renaissance. i’ve actually been to italy before on a school exchange for like three weeks back in 2017 😁 (i went to a catholic school so the only language offered to learn was italian hahaha). we spent about a week and a half in rome/florence/venice and then spent time with our host families. and omg i would LOVE to go back to florence and see all the galleries 😭 i would love to go back to the sistine chapel bc i feel like i didn’t appreciate al the artwork and historical significance. last year i did a renaissance history unit and i learnt all this cool stuff about the things i saw in italy, but didn’t appreciate it at the same level as i would now 💔

ahaha so yeah i would love to travel all across europe and do detailed tours of all the historical sites and galleries and ahhh it would make me so happy 😭

(next year i’m doing two chinese studies unit and a japanese history unit at uni so i bet my answer to that question next year will be me being like “i want to visit china/japan and see all the historical sites” LMAO)

but a place i wanna go to which i think is possible for me in the near future is tasmania, australia! there’s this really quirky art gallery called the museum and old and new art and i’m pretty sure they have this huge wall of painted vaginas  💀 so yeah i would like to see it ❤️

wow i didn’t mean to talk to much about travel ,,, such a covid mood ahahaha.

lmao who would you want to be your platonic/romantic cultivation partner(s)? and what about travel for you? i’m still not 100% sure WHERE your from ahaha. your asks always come through when i’m asleep so you’re definitely in the northern hemisphere hahaha 🤨🤔🤔 also just did an analysis of some of your previous asks and you spelt favourite as “favourite” (like a normal person) so you’re definitely not from the usa 💀💀

ahaha yeah, that was a lot 😳 thank you for your questions! it’s friday for me rn so i hope you have a good friday when you get there lmaoooo!

here are the “nice” xue yang fics i have ,,, just a warning like all of them are horny 💀😭

okay so fine line is really good! it’s a modern au and they all come to love each other ahahha

and samsara is really good as well - it’s a character study groundhog-day time loop fic. i guess it can be described as happy ... catharsis and character development can be happy

this one was kind of sweet (and horny whoops), the beauty of your repair

[lorata]

Follow up question to the ask re: the new book: you said you “all but ignore the movie tie-in material”, which of it are you referring to? I’m writing a research paper on the THG marketing right now.

Oh man. Okay. First of all if you want to talk about this more in-depth my email is the same as my tumblr username at gmail dot com, because I have THOUGHTS, but remember TheCapitol.PN? For people who don’t/weren’t around back in the day, it was an “in-universe” site that had information and stats on the various districts that now informs a lot of the fan wikis. Some of it was really neat -- schematic diagrams of the hovercrafts? Whoa! The District Pride posters? Perfect! (District 12, hoooooly cow.) And those Victory Tour videos of the various districts were just the right level of uncanny valley (those are still floating around Youtube, I’m sure.)

But the stats, in particular ... hrm. First of all I’m not sure they thought through the population data, but people with more number-crunching nerdery have done better posts about that. For me, though, the main thing I’ve ignored is ....... everything on the Peacekeepers, honestly. First off they claim that only 13% of Peacekeepers are women when there’s no book canon evidence to claim that. We get like 3 notable male PK and 3 female, the rest are behind masks, and Suzanne Collins works pretty hard to have consistent gender parity in her leadership. Hmmm. HMMMM.  Sounds like someone googled “percent of women in the US military” and decided that worked for their made-up country, for some reason. I mean, not that I’m championing “girl power” in a fascist military force, but still, lazy writing.

But then ALSO, they broke down the statistics of recruitment by district, and District 11???? had the most recruits?????? are you kidding??? You can’t take the most recruits from the second-most destitute and most-policed district, that doesn’t even make sense. I feel like they’re trying to build on -- again -- real-world military recruiters preying on impoverished areas, but that can still happen in the favoured districts and work to uphold the firm district lines that the Capitol is canonically insistent on maintaining. You could possibly argue for a massive ‘class traitor’ sentiment in D11 if widespread upward mobility through military recruitment were a societal norm, but ... I don’t feel like that matches the feel of the books (or earlier movies). The Peacekeepers are other. This is deliberate. Anyway D2 in book canon canonically is the secret PK farm yet according to Capitol.PN stats they have low PK recruitment compared to the rest of the country. Why?? I dunno.

I also ignore the Capitol Couture Victors because ...... they’re dumb. No real reason. The D5 Victor sounds like she’s from D1 and the D1 Victor sounds like he’s from D2. I don’t MIND them they just didn’t mesh with what I wanted.

(There’s also REALLY lazy things like pre-release set photos of a Victor memorial having Victor names be a combination of canon first name + actors’ last names, actor full name or, I Kid You Not, taken wholesale from that ridiculous “Hunger Games Name Generator” from Vulture. I lost five years of my LIFE over that. They BUILT SETS using an online name generator, I know because I tested it and got the actual names that were on that set. The names aren’t themed, they don’t match the districts, they all sound like Capitol citizens. They don’t even match their own promo material (Capitol Couture). Plus it supports the de-Careering of District 4 because District 5 has more Victors than they do, for some reason. Reader, I could have killed a man. I literally looked up the list of names again in order to get mad at them again.)

Basically the movie tie-ins are not canon, they’re meant to drive interest in the films but they aren’t consistent with book material, the films, or even other movie tie-ins. It’s all very pretty and very cool and you can take what you want, but no one can use it to say “um, what you wrote here is wrong”.

[wisqcrafts]

19 Home Quarantine Boredom Busters!

Bored? Bored??? Complain about your neighbors, your family, the government, the sky, anything else. But I never wanna hear or see anyone complain about boredom. Sorry not sorry. There's so many masterposts of things to do and free online resources. Here are just some of my dork ass ideas:

1) Free (yes FREE) online college courses from, you know, Yale, Harvard, MIT, etc:

https://www.coursera.org/

https://ocw.mit.edu/courses/find-by-topic/#cat=engineering&subcat=nuclearengineering&spec=nuclearsystemspolicyandeconomics

https://www.edx.org/school/harvardx

https://www.freecodecamp.org/news/ivy-league-free-online-courses-a0d7ae675869/?fbclid=IwAR1a9qAE6IcqmcQpPaTmXH6q63QBCA95rntnZPY0ah_U80d8u0wa9wAIYhc

What, like it's hard?

2) "Tattoo" practice - This is a personal idea of mine. Basically, you just take some non-toxic markers to draw on yourself or whoever youre in home quarantine with that wants a fake tattoo. This isn't the best time to be getting real tattoos but you can have fun seeing what youd look like with a one. If you dont really draw, you can print designs to cut into stencils.

3) Bento "stories" - I got this idea from the mom that went viral for the creative bentos she makes for her kids. I think, for even just one meal a day, it would be cute to tell a story with each bento. So if you're living with someone, they need to wait til the next day to find out what happens next! If you live alone, make them for yourself and post your bento story online.

https://www.boredpanda.com/creative-bento-food-art-samantha-lee/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=organic

4) Karaoke - By yourself or with others, doesn't matter, make it a party! Just search for your karaoke sobgs on Youtube. And anything is a microphone: hairbrush, remote, piece of fried chicken.... Good for you if you have one of those bluetooth mics tho.

5) Professor Day - Okay this one is really nerdy but it's more fun than it sounds. Pick a random topic, anything at all, and prepare a "lesson" or presentation on it. It could be one of your interests, an intro to a new language, or something you always wanted to learn. You can keep it to yourself, share the file online, or better: Dress the part and call your home quarantine buddies in for "class." If you live alone, teaching a class of inanimate objects would make for a silly yet informative video on your topic. Hey maybe this can catch on! Everyone can be an expert of something they're passionate about and should share their unique take on it, who knows who will be into it.

6) Miss Going Outside? Bring the experiences indoors! Like the family that made a home grocery for their grandma, you can make part of your home into something you miss from the outside world. Museum? Plenty offer free virtual tours. Cinema? If you don't have a big TV, you can make a projector for your phone with a shoebox. Camping? Hello, pillow fort and blanket tent. Roast marshmallows on the stove. Play relaxing nature sounds on your speaker. (Try the free app Relax Melodies, I love the mixing feature) Get creative with your space and what you have to make something you want. When you're really bored and missing the outdoors, Youtube or Google Streetview somewhere you wish you could go.

https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/75809/12-world-class-museums-you-can-visit-online

https://www.relaxmelodies.com/?utm_expid=.P1gqxCs8TYuGTBlAbE0VkQ.0&utm_referrer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com%2F

https://newsvideo.su/video/12560164

https://www.instructables.com/id/Build-A-Smartphone-Projector/

7) Room Makeover - No better time to do it! It's good exercise and it's a creative experience.

8) New Hair Dont Care - This is the best time to try an outrageous haircut or color since you're stuck at home. If it doesn't turn out ideal, no one has to know. If you love it, great! You can try any look you normally wouldn't wear outside or at work.

9) Safe Science Experiments - emphasis on the word SAFE. Safety first, always. There's plenty of free resources online for instructions, esp on YouTube.

10) Consume All The Free Movies, Shows, Music, Books, Audio Books and even Comics Online... it's endless! So much free... And now not so little time. You won't run out of things to watch, read, or listen to.

https://www.epubor.com/10-best-sites-for-free-comic-books.html

https://www.bettercloud.com/monitor/15-classic-video-games/

http://www.loyalbooks.com/genre/Non-fiction

https://www.digitalbook.io/search-audiobooks-ebooks.html#!///history

https://documentaryaddict.com/

11) Make a Short Film - Get creative or just be silly! Try stop motion with old toys, get yourself or someone you're home with into acting, or make your pet a star.

12) Tea Party - Be a kid again and dress up for tea... but put whatever twist you want on it! Wear an old Halloween costume or something! If you live alone, video call your friends or family to join you for tea.

13) Spa Day - All the pampering you didn't have time for when work/school wasn't from home? You have time now. DIY facial. Bubble bath. Nail art. Really soak in every little act of self love.

14) Practice drag makeup, styling, and performance for fun. Your gender or sexual preference doesn't even matter here. Its all good fun! Be a drag queen or king for a day. Lip sync for your life by yourself or make it a drag race with your home quarantine mates.

15) Mystery Day - Create a fake crime scene and have your friends/family solve it! Doesn't have to be a big mess and you don't have to make it so complicated for yourself or your home quarantine fam. You could also just write a simple mystery/riddle online for friends to solve if you live alone. You can even assign roles like accomplice, police, detective, etc. Work your brain, the goal is to kill boredom right?

16) Scrapbook - or Burn Book, Spell Book, pop-up book, revolutionary manifesto, whatever. Use anything you have as a base even if it has writing: an old phone book, something missing pages, a faded magazine, whatever. Then stick any pics, stickers, printouts, tags, wrappers, etc you want. What kind of book will it be?

17) Art Therapy - Even if you dont consider it something you're "good" at, use art to express yourself. It doesn't just have to be drawing, painting, or sculpting... You can pick up a forgotten musical instrument you may have lying around and just keep trying. Youtube is life. Countless tutorials for everything.

18) Crafts Crafts Crafts - Theres so many simple crafts to try at home. 5 Minute Crafts on Youtube and various other channels offer some great yet easy ideas. Try going about it in this order:

a) Look around your house for stuff you don't need. Set aside for craft pile or donate pile.

b) Look around again for any ways you can improve you home. You need mor storage? Is your shoe rack broken? Are you always missing something? Then search online for crafts specific to that.

c) Set up a neat work space with your craft pile and some tools you can use. Note: Never use kitchen items for crafts if you still intend to use them on food. You may be able to wash them but you can't undo any damage from crafting trial and error.

https://youtu.be/AROj7nkH2LQ

19) If you have any skill that can possibly help frontliners during this crisis, do see what you can do without risking your own health. If you can sew, donate masks or even PPE suits as there are guides online for the right patterns and materials. Even just a few pieces are helpful. If you sing, sing for our frontliners. If you write, write about them. Do your research about the situation in your town. Health workers, sanitation workers, grocery staff, and other essential workers are all putting their lives on the line. All we have to do is stay home but we can make the most of it.

https://drive.google.com/drive/mobile/folders/1-Xr-67gs2qw0o44-hy-INb89I9m-wcLD?fbclid=IwAR2q0JV6uqgDW5e_m5X5ABLv86rXdQodXh4x5fYDg9_WRsMe0hQwki9PUTk&fbclid=IwAR3Oofo8FIjzwZOoLepnGxYTrST_zV1dRf6NMtoWVRQVSuho1nnqwG5esUE

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.cnet.com/google-amp/news/coronavirus-face-mask-what-you-need-to-know-about-making-a-covering-at-home/

[euphoriarps]

❊ ◜THE .// introduction

ahoy there, friends! admin allie here coming at you with a fresh informtional guide about life here in sunny orlando (i say as i'm writing this from indiana and not florida). while we have definitey spent the majority of pre-buzz preaching to you that there is a lot more to orlando than just the theme parks (and as we have proven, there is) ... the theme parks are still an essential part of life in orlando. they are responsible for employing over 80,000 people and serve as a congregating place for tourists from all over the world. now for a little bit about me. i worked for the walt disney company from 2015 into 2016 as a part of the disney college program. during this time i had the privilege of working merchandise and attractions with this amazing company. i returned to disney for a secondary college program in 2017 during which time i returned to working attractions. i took a break from disney in the second half of 2017 and into 2018 and worked for universal where i worked for a period as an rip tour guide / vip tour guide / and with their guest services team. then i returned to disney in 2018 and worked in the resort side of disney before finally getting a fancy office job for disney working with the disney reservation center. i am no longer with either disney or universal, but i would like to imagine that my years of experience working for both theme parks pretty much makes me pretty knowledgeable on how things work as a cast member / team member. now it is important to mention that that everyones experiences with the theme parks is completely different. theme park work is not for everyone and my experiences are not my own and won't directly reflect those of another person. the opinions / facts expressed here are solely for use by members of euphoria, a jcink premium roleplay. they are not meant to bad mouth either of the companies in either way (though i will confess i am being brutally honest in expressing what to expect working for either of these companies). so without further adieu, an unofficial guide to working for walt disney world.

❊ ◜THE .// hiring process

applying for a job with disney is exactly like applying for a job with any other company, you go online to their disney careers website and you apply for one of their vacant positions. plain and simple. all applications submitted to the disney careers portal are not viewed by a human, instead they are run through a complex machine that picks up key words within your resume to determine whether or not you are the ideal disney candidate. it is for this reason that it is important to have a resume with disney-sounding buzz words. usually you'll know if you've moved on to the next step of working for disney within an hour to two hours after applying, receiving an automated email requesting that you submit a survey to help disney learn more about your personality. this is your stereotypical pre-employment survey asking the same exact questions in thirty different ways to determine whether or not you have the disney personality. after submitting this survey, if you have moved onto the next step you will receive a request to interview. interviews are held at the walt disney world casting building across from disney springs in lake buena vista. i would honestly recommend googling the building (there are tons of pictures) because it is really cool looking, and you get this big goose bumps feeling as you walk inside the main atrium because everything spews disney. you will be interviewed by a disney recruiter that will ask you your standard interview questions. it is important to mention that unless you applied for a job that offers a hiring bonus (ie: transportation, housekeeping) the recruiter is interviewing you for all vacant positions within disney and not specifically what you applied for. you very well could have applied for an attractions position and during your interview, you could walk out with an offer to work custodial. where you get placed as a cast member all depends on what areas they need staffed specifically, and your ability to direct the interview. if you really want to work in attractions, it is your responsibility to steer the recruiter towards talking about attractions and why you are a good fit for that specific role. if the recruiter likes you they will offer you a job on the spot. disney is not the type of company to say "oh, well, we'll call you." if they want you, they hire you. if they don't like you, they'll give you some disney excuse and send you on your way. the recruiter will email you your official job offer listing your specific role and your location and will have you accept it while sitting in their office. then they will send you back out into the lobby to wait for another recruiter to call you over to schedule the next steps. the next steps following getting hired are onboarding and then traditions. onboarding is exactly what it sounds like, a member of the human resources team will verify your i9 information and start running your background check. another member of the team will sit down with you and advise you of the disney look which i will go into more detail on later. you will be educated on many different dos and don't about working within the company and then finally they will end the onboarding process by finger printing you and taking your photo for your blue ID. and then you're done. traditions is your first official paid day of work. it is an eight hour class held at disney university, a building located in the parking lot of backstage magic kingdom. cast members joke and affectionately call traditions "disney brain washing," but ... it's not entirely an exaggeration. the point of the class is to teach you company history and background, and also give you insights on the culture of the company that you'll be working for. the class ends with a surprise visit from your boss, the big cheese himself ... mickey mouse. he delivers you very first name tag and your facilitators will hand out both your blue IDs and your name tags and if you're a first time cast member you will 100% cry because this is very emotional. and from that point on, it is on to official training. some helpful hints: as long as you fit with the disney look and have the personality they are looking for, it is fairly easy to get hired with the company. roles consist of attractions, custodial, quick service food and beverage, full service food and beverage, guest relations, "entertainment," housekeeping, front desk & concierge, transportation, merchandise, and so many more. the roles that you cannot get an immediate hire for are those existing within the entertainment bubble as those typically require a formal audition or a secondary set of interviews. entertainment roles include; character performer, musician, dancer, vocalist, photopass, or character attendant. i will be delving into entertainment and its ins and outs in a complete separate post, as this post is already going to have a fuck ton of information. you also cannot get immediate hire for most office and technical or executive jobs (the exception being reservations agents with the disney reservation center). you especially can not get an immediate hire for guest relations or tours with disney, these roles involving an intense application process that calls for at least nine months within the company, and an intensive interview + audition process to prove that you're good enough to wear the plaid.

❊ ◜THE .// company culture

disney has a very high standard that they hold their cast members to, and they either meet these standards or are damn good at pretending like they do. there are some company cultural values that you are taught during the interview process, traditions, and in your work location that become a part of your day to day life. the disney look is a very strict set of appearance guidelines you must comply with in order to work for disney. if you want a really good read, you can find the full disney look book here. if you're like me and you don't want to read that, the tldr of it is : your hair must be of a natural color and not have any sort of an extreme style. mo hawks, faux hawks, extreme fades, undercuts, and anything of that nature are probably not allowed. disney does allow for dread locks, braids, or artificial hair (ie: wigs) as long as it is kept neat and can be pulled up and away from the face if needed. jewelery is limited to a watch and one ring on each hand, earrings can not exceed the size of a quarter, makeup must be conservative (and your manager will yell at you if you try to pull of a cat eye), and you cannot have visible tattoos. your tattoos either must be able to be hid beneath your costume, or you must wear long pants / thick tights / long sleeves to hide the tattoo. only one piercing is allowed on each ear and cast members are not permitted to display any other piercings while working (ie: nose , eyebrow , lip, etc). men must keep their facial hair conservative and neatly groomed. overly long beards / mustaches, and patchy uneven facial hair are not permitted. the four keys disney's service standards are built around "four keys," that are essentially the cast member bible. in order of importance those four keys are; safety, courtesy, show, and efficency. they beat these words into you during traditions, during training, and your managers will regularly remind them of them during your day to day work. as a cast member, you must know and embrace the four keys in order to survive. cast member behaviors; disney has some standards for certain behaviors that you must upkeep. they encourage cast members to eliminate words like hard "yes" and "no" from their vocabulary and instead encourage things like: certainly, absolutely, it would be my pleasure, or "i don't know but i will glady find out for you." there are exceptions to this rule, of course, namely when a mother has stuck ice cream sandwiches in her son's shoes to try and make him tall enough to ride splash mountain. then the cast member will definitely tell you "no, your son can not ride." cast members never point with one finger. directions are always provided by pointing with two fingers or with an open palm. and the disney scoop is another strange cast member behavior you'll witness, where they can scoop up trash / a dropped item without even breaking their pace while walking. cast members are trained to get to know you. they will often comment on small details about you to try and make conversation. if you're wearing a celebration button that disney provides, they will wish you a happy birthday, a happy anniversary, a happy graduation or whatever it is that you are celebrating. if your name is displayed on your button, they will call you by your first name. little kids are addressed as "princess" or "space ranger," and cast members will kneel down to their level to interact with them and will keep the biggest possible smile on their face. it is encouraged to make children feel just as acknowledged as the parents are, because disney is created for individuals of all ages. and finally, cast members are trained experts of de-escalation, well versed at all variations of yelling guests angry over the most obscure of things. if it starts raining, if her son couldn't ride splash mountain because he was a quarter of an inch too short (because the ice cream sandwiches melted) it is your fault and you should be ashamed of yourself. your prized posessions cast members have several "prized possessions" that they keep on them at all times. first, of course, is your blue ID. it is a blue piece of plastic displaying your name, your personel number (how you are identified within disney's internal portal), the god awful picture you took your second day with the company at onboarding, and your seniority date (essentially the date you were hired. as disney is unionized, this also determines how easy it is to get the schedule you want, etc). your blue ID is neccessary to gain access to back stage areas, to redeem free parking at the theme parks, and to access your cast member discount so you don't spend your entire paycheck on disney merchandise (just most of your paycheck). the second prized posession is your main entrance pass. another piece of plastic similar to the blue ID, this is essentially your gateway into the theme parks. cast members receive free admission into all of the disney theme parks worldwide (besides tokyo) most days out of the year, though they are subject to blockout dates. they also receive a select number of "guest passes," that they may use to admit friends into the parks ... also subject to black out dates. the point system disney has a very strict point system that cast members learn to work with while at disney. there are numerous things that you can get points for, but the easiest way to accumulate points is your attendance. to be perfectly clear you do not want points. so here is the simplest possible run down i can give to points.... if you're half a second late to your shift, you get half a point. if you forget to clock in from lunch / clock out, you get a point. if you call out, you get a point. three points in 30 days / 6 points in 90 days / 9 points in 180 days equals a reprimand. four reprimands equals immediate termination, though disney has the opportunity to terminate you before that point if your work performance isn't quite what they're looking for. to succeed as a cast member get . to . work . early and don't call out. also don't call out and go hang out in the parks, that is the #1 dumb way to get termed (disney lingo for "canned.")

❊ ◜TRAINING .// and working

after completing traditions you will officially begin training. the first few days after traditions, depending on your role, are also classroom training. the second day of official work is usually welcome to operations which is a six hour class that you will probably fall asleep four. the class is essentilly focusing upon teaching you those four keys that i mentioned earlier and how to live by them like it is your religion. you are also made to watch the safety in motion video, which is available for your viewing pleasure right here. while training programs are different for every role and location, your third day is typically orientation to your specific park / resort where you will learn the background, history, and theming to your work location. day three very often results in meeting with your official training and taking your first official trip to costuming where you will get your costume for your role. probably the second most exciting and rewarding day of training after traditions, though the disney costume sizes are so bizarre that they'll probably make you feel fat. you wear a size six in real life? well at disney you're a fourteen. from that point on, you'll typically have a week and a half to two weeks of in person training where you have a trainer to show you the ropes and teach you everything that you need to know to function in your job. training will end with an assessment which is two parts, a practical test where you have to show you can perform the functions of your job to a trainer. the second is a written test where you get quizzed on various safety procedures within your area and the work processes that go along with them. and then you can officially get to work.

❊ ◜WORKING .// and other

cast members are usually statused as either full time or part time, with part time working an average of two days a week (12 - 16 hours) all the way up to thirty hours. full time cast members work thirty eight hours at the bare minimum, but typically average anywhere from forty to the possibility of working quite a bit of overtime. when i was in attractions with disney, i averaged sixty-five hours a week. your schedules are dropped via the hub (the website that is your resource for all things cast member) on saturday at midnight a week in advance. cast members typically have face book groups for their work areas where they can communicate and give away / trade shifts as needed to get the schedule that they need to work with their personal life. shifts can be given away / switched via the hub. other than that, working for disney is pretty much your typical job only with some pretty fantastic perks. you get free park admission, guest admission, a discount, and you get to make magic for people all around the world... overall ... pretty cool. if you have any specific questions about playing the most accurate disney cast member possible, you can reach out to me via the site discord or direct message me on discord. i am more than happy to answer questions regarding my specific experience with disney and how to best place your character!! i did not want to share too much information about disney publicy for fear that i would get a cease and desist warning from disney. that would be pretty bad. but i hoped this guide helped you. there will be another guide specific to working entertainment and then a guide to working at universal that you can look forward to sometime soon!

[omnomwithrob]

Once Upon a Time in the (South)West.

Ah, March 19th was a good food day in Santa Fe. We started by working up an appetite with a walking tour of the downtown area, which started in the Plaza. Behold, the women in Rob’s life - and a lot of dried chiles.

We saw many beautiful things that morning, and I thought I’d share a few of my favorites. Pretty stairs!

The Basilica!

This cool building right next to the famed Loretto Chapel!

And...the Five and Dime?

That’s right, in the back of this little souvenir shop is a humble soda-fountain-type counter where I insisted we eat lunch. Their main draw?

THE WALKING TACO

I hadn’t seen one of these babies since the concession stands in southern Missouri in my showchoir days. For those who have never been blessed with a walking taco, also known as a Frito pie, let me explain: this is a bag of Fritos topped with chili, shredded cheese, and raw diced onions. As Anthony Bourdain famously said about it, “it feels like you’re holding warm crap in a bag.” I’m sure it’s hardly “authentic New Mexican food,” but I could not say no to the opportunity to have one!

The Five and Dime’s walking taco was excellent - messy and cumulatively spicy, it was so satisfying and more than enough for a meal. Thank you, Rob and Lynn, for humoring me!

Armed with 46 new grams of fat in our tum tums, we sojourned out of the city for an afternoon in Chimayo. Beautiful views along the way!

We thought it would be neat to see the Santuario de Chimayo, which is a Catholic pilgrimage site (you can read more about the reasons why here). It really was a beautiful little church. 

A part of the legend is that the dirt surrounding the church is holy and facilitates miraculous healing. We didn’t try it ourselves, but Rosie’s teeny moccasins looked mighty cute romping around in it!

We returned to Santa Fe for dinner at La Plazuela, the restaurant inside La Fonda hotel. We sat in a gorgeous open space with skylights and a babbling fountain, and when this guacamole was prepared for us tableside, we knew we weren’t at the Five and Dime anymore.

We could customize what went into our guac, and Rob and Lynn went with onions, tomato, cilantro, roasted garlic, salt, and lime. I didn’t weigh in because I learned a few years ago that avocados make me very sick! Merp. Rob and Lynn sure liked it though, and so did little Rose. Meanwhile, I snacked on a few of their deliciously thick fried tortilla chips - ya know, to up my chip quota for the day.

For my entree, I ordered the huitlacoche tamale. Huitlacoche is actually a fungus that grows on ears of corn, and I learned it is sometimes called “Mexican truffle.” This sounds very unappetizing, and I cannot say that I recommend a Google image search.

But WOW WOW WOW was it amazing. Combined with the pistachios and an amazing green chile cream, this was far and away the best tamale I’d ever had, no questions asked. The huitlachoche gave it this amazing earthy flavor that was so unique and savory, and I LOVED a saucy bite of it with the cashew cake that was reminiscent of Thanksgiving stuffing. It also came with a sweet barley salad with apples, figs, and red onions, as well as bright and snappy green beans. I loved the clever use of nuts  throughout this dish, and it was probably the best plant-based meal I’ve had in my life.

Speaking of best things I’ve had in my life, Rob ordered the best fajitas I’ve ever had! The skirt steak was so juicy and delicious with the perfect melt-in-your-mouth texture, and it was perfect with the sweet peppers and onions.

Lynn order the chile rellenos de Fonda, which were brimming with cheese and coated in a beer batter that brought a lot of flavor to the dish.

To get the full experience, Lynn requested both red and green chile - she deemed green the winner!

Welp, this was an amazing meal. This was another restaurant recommended by my psychiatrist pal, and she was right on the money. Between the beautiful space and the incredible food, we can definitely recommend the wonderful experience in the historic La Fonda hotel!

Caroline