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julia-bunncat · 2 years ago

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A huge analysis of the 3rd trial | DRV3

Well! As I promised in the previous post (although since then I’ve already finished the fourth chapter – the saddest for me at the moment 😢) , today we will talk about the 3rd chapter of DRV3, Korekiyo Shinguji’s role in it, and in more detail:

a} I’ll tell you about my experiences during the direct playthrough; how hard it was for me to solve Angie and Tenko’s murder [I didn’t spoil the details for myself deliberately, only knew about the «seesaw effect» meme] b} I’ll analyze the class trial and Kiyo’s behavior in it; c} of course I’ll share my thoughts on improving Korekiyo’s arch, because actually every fan knows this truth – the writers failed their task to create an adequate, worthy story.

After all, I have no regrets; the goal of «find something useful + figure out every detail» has been achieved and to me it was paramount, because (if someone didn’t know and hasn’t read one of my posts) I plan to create my own universe where most of DRV3 cast are survived.

That’s the end of the intro! I warn you that the following text will be as full as possible of spoilers... and yes, it will be huge. Again. Just get ready for it.

☄ I’ll start by stating my attitude to what is happening during the 3rd chapter BEFORE murder (but I won’t go into too many details here, because for the most part, again, I plan to dedicate this post to Korekiyo). First and foremost, I want to say that Monokuma. is losing. his grip. Earlier I managed to spoil myself the thesis that once again chapter’s motive is sucks, but I didn’t know exactly what the problem was... Now it’s clear. As with the 1st chapter, the motive is not being used – the murder generates either additional conditions (like time limit) or the students' personal complexes / psychoses (Kaede has the desire to «save everyone», Korekiyo has the goal to collect «friends for sister»). If only the Monocubs had come up with that motive, I would understand and forgive… But no, despite the «revolt» against their father’s principles, it seems that they didn’t abandon his original idea to shove this useless Necronomicon – after all, at the end of the execution Monokuma is upset; he say: «Seems like a waste, though. You guys sure you don’t wanna use it?».

It leads me to believe that the writers have once again decided to avoid logic in “favor” of some gags. They wanted to introduce an aesthetic creepy freak into the story – they did it, nothing else matters. And this is actually upsetting to me – in theory, the events could have been staged in such a way that the motive is used either indirectly or directly. It’s such a waste….

Now, a few words about Angie and the main event – formation of the student council-sect. I remember Korekiyo talking about it as a natural phenomenon in their situation – in times of despair, people cling to faith as never before thingslikethat… Moreover, I agree, it (as well as the Monocubs’ revolt) is something truly unique. It must be admitted that in no other Danganronpa nobody even tried to do something similar.

…But in what shock and (no other words come in mind ;^) horror I was, watching the accession of the cult of Angie’s God. Those who have studied at least a little bit about sects, understand – it’s not really about despair. A sect is always either money or a cult of personality (sometimes all together), and in the case of Angie – God (Atua) it’s herself. It would be more appropriate to listen Kokichi’s assessment of event: «She uses the situation to take the school under her and make us dependent on “Atua”». His opinion is even more confirmed by the fact that Angie became active just after the guys checked the Flashback Light (with group funeral) and what they saw confused them really.

This sequence of actions actually makes her dangerous. I heard a fact that many fans was genuinely considered Angie as the alleged murderer of chapter three… And you know, I WILL agree to this without any hesitation! Perhaps, at least that way, what happens in this chapter would have made some sense.

Also, in the last post, there were a number of criticisms and aversions to Angie that came from my lips. And I'd like to add something to my remarks, yeah, because even though Angie has taken to enslaving the minds of her classmates very intelligently and promptly, she is still full of contradictions (which breaks down theories about her genius). I’ll outline these contradictions so as not to sound hollow:

1} Angie's motivation for using the Necronomicon is simple – she doesn't believe in resurrection, but she does believe that someone who has died can come back, since they actually didn't die at all (their body could have been replaced by a first-class replica). At first, she backs up her conviction with comments like: «Well, the more people, the more fun it will be in our paradise! Shuichi, don't you have any sympathy for the dead? #shameonyou» BUT! when it comes to a new Flashback Light the next day + the question of “who shall we resurrect” arises, Angie changes her mind without a bit of mercy. The resurrected man is no longer a welcome friend – he is a victim in case an inconvenient time-limit-type motive is reintroduced. Is this a contradiction? Or hypocrisy? Let's just not decide.

2} Theory with replicas. At the first sight of the wax figures of the four dead, Shuichi is irrevocably convinced that this is impossible. He reasonably and inspiringly explains to Angie (who believes in spiritual and otherworldly things) that no matter what works of art the figures are, even Ultimate Talent cannot replace the soul… But how does Yonaga react? Right, she contradicts her own words again. Or to be more precise: She doesn't even try to defend her own beliefs in any way. No one can be resurrected because the replicas don't exist? Whatever! God said the ritual had to be done anyway! It will work – but the logic and danger of realising the motive...? Pfft, who needs them?!

Things might not look so dumb if it turned out that Angie was trying to cover up her plan to kill someone (from the student council, for example) in that way... But in the end, she dies by accident and in a very stupid position. Don't. Be. Like that. DR screenwriters. PLEASE.

☄ Now for some personal impressions of what happened during the investigation and the process of solving the mystery. If I remember correctly, Korekiyo and Celestia are the only unicums who have risked killing someone in the middle of an investigation. Celes did this by confusing things from the start by running from floor to floor… When Shinguji, on the other hand, took a risk in every sense of this word. Firstly, he brought suspicion on himself by using a katana from his own lab (and not on purpose – Monokuma set it up so that there was nowhere else to get a long enough sharp object). Secondly, all the time before the murder he admired the Caged Child séance, longed for it and finally persuaded his classmates to try it out.

In all fairness, by listing all this I'm not trying to say that Kiyo is a lousy blackened – on the contrary, he even manages to turn some mistakes to his advantage. For example, the use of a katana from his research lab is justified by the clever creation of a locked room mystery. After all, Korekiyo is not a member of the student council (Angie only let them into the lab) or a master lock picker. Moreover, the way he created the locked room is quite handy. If it weren't for the gilding on the hilt of the katana, it would be harder to guess the exact purpose of the «upside-down figure + katana» combination.

More than once Korekiyo has been saved by his cunning, his diligence (sawing floorboards in three rooms at night is not like picking flowers xD) and his ability to think ahead. He created a safety cushion for himself by provoking another classmate (namely Himiko) to choose a new killing place for him, then framing that very classmate. By taking the risk of killing Angie, he helped himself by learning from Monokuma beforehand that (logically) only the killer who "got there first" would be punished. Shinguji could have got away with it many times, especially since the trials are based on the principle of "until I hear an unbreakable argument from you, you won't charge me".

But I'm getting a little carried away, ahah! All in all, despite the fact that I'm actually praising Kiyo here, his trial didn't seem all that complicated and confusing to me. Thus, I pretty quickly got to the bottom of the spinning-the-wax-figure trick, found correlations of the evidence and used them correctly to spot weaknesses in the arguments. Difficulties began closer to uncovering the essence of “seesaw effect”. For example, it's still astonishing to me how Korekiyo came up with the idea of navigation by touching SALT in complete darkness. Yes, he had prepared a straight line in several layers beforehand and remembered by heart how the circle was drawn, there was nothing to confuse it with... But he crawled, knowing that his stressed classmates were all around him, jumped on the floorboard with all his legs, managed not to fall in himself and STILL SANG!! What’s amazing human being!

By the way, the atmosphere at the séance was indeed tense to the point of creepiness. I knew what was going to happen – I had to be ready for it... But that viscous, crawling feeling of discomfort wouldn't let go no matter what :'D My bestie and I were still completely silent during the chants – just try it, there is no substitute for this experience 😨😂

I will continue to discuss the trial further, for on the purely technical side, it has a number of oddities for me:

During the investigation of Angie's case (i.e. before Tenko's murder), there's a scene in Shinguji's lab that still haunts me, even though it could easily be written off as conventional. When Maki and Shuichi go to the lab to check if the katana is definitely missing, Kokichi runs in after them to get a sheet for a séance. This is the same sheet in which Korekiyo will later carry the sickle to kill Tenko. Question: at what moment did he manage to hide this sickle in it?? If he did this before the séance, then sending Kokichi for the sheet was a monstrous mistake ;^ (although it's not that Ouma is a fan of solving murderers, no matter how disgusting they are to him – that would spoil all the fun) However, it was virtually impossible to do this during the preparations, because an abrupt leaving (to Maki's lab) would have raised a lot of suspicion, and no one had told us about such an event. One last variant is that he's been hiding the sickle under his clothes all this time, but... how? Don't you need special clothes for that?? Kiyo's uniform fits snugly over his body. Your theories? xD

I've noticed a tendency that very often it was Korekiyo who (indirectly) provoked the guys into discussing very pointless topics :'D (which I don't think is the best tactic on his part – blackeneds in general become more active at their trials). For example, when, making excuses on the subject of an offer to hold a séance, he recalls the "possibility" of entering the chosen place by crawling under the floor and because of this suspicion falls on Kibo with his new function. Everyone ends up wasting extra time, even though it is already obvious that Kibo's flashlight is BLINDINGLY BRIGHT – it would have been visible without any slits in the floor, in fact, as well as other light sources. Or this alternative theory that Tenko may have been killed when Himiko lifted the cage... although the blood was visible when Kiyo removed the sheet (which was also covered in blood) and Himiko literally toppled the cage on adrenaline alone, immediately bursting into tears?? In general, moments where the teenagers start tо stall make the trial seem more natural, but personally, as a player, I found it a bit annoying 😅

‌Well, one last point from the “we would have saved a lot of time without it” section – a lie feature. Honestly, before this I had no idea how to win a debate without using it (although I think the game mechanics provide a way out)... But not in the case of the third trial, no. A reminder for those who haven't replayed it in a while – when the trial comes to a bit of a standstill, Maki supports Kaito's spontaneous theory: «Tenko's killer was inside the cage the whole time». In other words, the murderer in her own case is Chabashira herself, she also threw the sickle under the floor after the deed + allegedly there was even a reason to commit su*cide. To refute this theory, Shuichi has to lie that Tenko died instantly... But... Why, when he could just retell Maki's words during the investigation? Tenko didn't die instantly, yes, but from the pain shock she couldn't move and therefore couldn't throw the sickle (especially so hard that it wasn't under her, but in another corner of the room). Seemingly another convention, but still quite hard to ignore x)

Despite my admiration for Korekiyo's mental capacity in such precarious circumstances, in the end I concluded that our anthropologist had created both an ingenious mosaic and a complete mess xD In theory, he might have won if Kokichi hadn't sneaked into the next room and discovered the trap there. He might have won if not for Kibo's function to reproduce his memories in the form of images... If Himiko hadn't chosen the very room where Angie died... If Maki hadn't noticed a piece of duct tape under the corpse (because Shuichi obviously wouldn't have dared to examine the dead girl's body himself like that – including to avoid disturbing the crime scene). But the main problem here is not the unpredictability of classmates and a series of unfortunate accidents, no. Kiyo, as a murderer with a very interesting talent, has one unforgivable sin... I would like to discuss it a little later.

When Kiyo decides to confess to killing Tenko (although he could have done it a long time ago, lol, he apparently VERY much enjoys hearing detailed and reasoned evidence), the cast begins to divide into two teams: "let's vote right now, recognising Kiyo as Tenko AND Angie's murderer" and "we can't vote right now". The latter team includes Kokichi...

And you know, already figuring out his true motives and attitude towards the killing game, I often wondered: “How does Kokichi feel about murderer-Korekiyo..?”. The answer was found, thanks to the following dialogue:

...now I finally saw that Kokichi was a little bit angry with Kiyo for being a hated murderer. Just because he voted to continue discussing Angie's case doesn't mean he believes in his innocence. On the contrary, he probably just wants to humiliate Shinguji = to lead others to destroy him morally (and he succeeds in doing so).

☄ After all, shortly after this scene, Korekiyo's having a nervous breakdown. He trembles, stammering, ready to almost spit bile... And then he releases his "defence mechanism".

So, now I announce a special category called "Interesting notes from interactions with Sister" o/ (quick note: only during the trial, because after that... everything goes down the drain)

❧ So that's where Kiyo's self-teacher kink is coming from..? To this phrase he replies «Y-yes, you're right. I'll teach them».

And it makes sense, if we think back to the hcs that Miyadera could have replaced Kiyo's parents, i.e. to be his main mentoring, educational figure... Now, copying her whole personality, her behaviour, whole experience with her, Korekiyo also tries to resemble the teacher and gradually experiences real pleasure in educating others. Which is why, when he befriends Shuichi after FTEs, he offers to be none other than his disciple. This is the only form of intimate communication available to him, ugh.

❧ I wondered for a long time: why Kiyo was so afraid of being declared as a culprit...? Shouldn't he, on the contrary, be coolly calm, because his execution / his death, would only be a transition to another life in which he could be reunited with his sister? But no, he's blatantly panicking :(

And sister's next phrases (even though she is addressing Shuichi)

prompted me to think of two things at once:

1) Kiyo isn't afraid of being culprit, but being blamed, because he remembers from childhood the consequences of his mistakes – the need to apologise to his sister over and over again, literally begging for her forgiveness and understanding. Even on "Argument Armament" he confirms my point with the phrase «You're all wrong, not me!» (which sounds like a rather childish statement :'D)

2) Whatever true love he speaks of, all he feels for his sister is fear. He wants her to let him into her arms when they reunites, but how is that possible if he has already made a mistake, if he has failed to realise his main goal? He fears death because his sister's punishment awaits him beyond it – and his execution, in fact, proves this directly. have always been of the opinion that the second part of it is an illusion on all sides. It would be logical to think of it not as something real, but as a representation of Korekiyo's subconscious; something that symbolically emphasises the gravity of his crimes.

❧ /foreword/

Once I was lucky (or maybe not so, ahah), to meet Chinese and Japanese Korekiyo fans on Twitter who were able to communicate with me (and their audience) in English. That's how I came to know one of the most horrifying facts: the Chinese and Japanese FD of Danganronpa don't consider Korekiyo's sister as abuser. What's more, they're sometimes even angry at this opinion; for them, Ane-Kiyo (an alternative name for our "Miyadera") is the main victim... And you know, I was so worried at first! «What if I'm getting my favourite character wrong?». «What if the English translation is so shoddy that it can't be trusted?».

But it's hardly that serious. Eventually, I found the reason for this mismatch of beliefs for myself.

English fd has several arguments. The most important of these, as far as I know, is the list of requirements that Korekiyo's sister makes in the trial: «You musn't raise your voice / musn't stutter / musn't waver» and so on. For a Japanese fd, however, there is no problem with it... And _that makes sense_, as these requirements are more indicative of a strict upbringing than a full-blown abusive relationship, which is confirmed by the fact that AneKiyo's tulpa enjoys being a teacher who teaches ignorant children [screenshots above]. Strict upbringing in Japan and China – especially in traditional families – is not uncommon + Japanese fans are convinced that the "sister behind the mask" has nothing to do with the life-in Korekiyo's sister at all (which is difficult to confirm or deny in any way, as we can only take the meagre bits and pieces that the game offers us at face value). In other words, no one is right or wrong in this situation – it's just a matter of cultural differences.

My personal impression: Kiyo's sister made the same demands on him as she did on herself, firstly because she was terminally ill, and secondly because she was the eldest and the role model. Roughly speaking, these attitudes + the fact that she had a loving, obedient brother at her side simply kept her from going mad from the pain she was experiencing. Of course this doesn't excuse her actions – it just makes her more psychologically understood. There is essentially no reason to go to extremes and see her as some kind of cruel tyrant. Even the way the tulpa makes Shuichi apologise – in a gentle, ingratiating tone – illustrates her preference for confusing and covert manipulation rather than shouting and pressure.

❧ It's interesting that when Kiyo (based on his voiceline) is already almost crying because he feels cornered, and can't afford himself to make a mistake in front of Sister... She calmly tells him to give up and admit defeat, even though she seemed to be on his side and defending him the whole time. Kiyo himself is surprised by such an advice, agreeing very timidly, with a shaky «O-okay...».

I think this is a direct demonstration of the indifference the Sister sometimes showed towards Kiyo's failures / worries when she was alive. This meant that Miyadera could actively support him for a while, but as soon as her brother made a mistake, she would coldly dismiss his feelings, to which Kiyo could only reply: «Okay...».

☄ And now... I can freely move to scenes that take place after the trial, before the execution (and this is one of those cases where it would be better if it didn't exist at all, or only existed in a few sentences).

TW: mention of incest and analysis of incestuous relationships.

❧ Yes, I'm starting with the most dysmoral stuff. After some thought about "why would Miyadera need this all in all", I came to the only plausible conclusion. Kiyo was probably the first one to fall in love with her (especially if she restricted his contact with other people = was the only person close to him) and she took advantage of that: а) out of despair that death is near and she has no friends or anyone else, has no choice; b) because a lover is even easier to control – he will be completely at her mercy.

I've made similar theories before. The only thing that wasn't clear before the direct playthrough was: "Why do many fans also see hints of sexual abuse from Miyadera..?" But now I have a bit of a guess...

Yes, we see the "no physical connection" note, but any way you look at it, Kiyo's words sound TOO provocative. If it had been, let's say, a simple hug, nothing would have stopped him from saying it directly (and that would sound just as "romantic"), but no... And the illustration itself seems designed only to confuse. On the other hand... Where basically could they have made love if the sister lived in the hospital? .-. And probably very often was in a weakened / critical condition?¿

Moreover, during the same monologue, Shinguji utters an intriguing line:

They called. What "they" he is talking about...? The parents? Doctors? But if "they" were so outraged, why didn't anyone try to limit the communication? Or is this a hint that attempts _were made_, but Shinguji siblings always found a way to "find each other again", unwavering feelings, all stuff..? Honestly, it sounds like clichéd phrases from novels that are hard to take for granted. I don't even have any assumptions here.

Another thought-provoking formulation

❧ «I had to kill». So Korekiyo with his own mouth calls it coercion – and again, related to his sister. It is as if he is admitting: "Yes, I had a sick, lonely sister. One day she died. If things had been different – I would never kill...". But that doesn't change the ambiguity of his words, does it? Moreover, I would venture to say that it is precisely this position that scores a few points in favour of his haters. For Shinguji, the quest to "gather 100 female friends" was a noble gesture, but for all sane people it remains an unwarranted horror, as it is unlikely that his sister would have directly asked him to do such a thing. There is no evidence,

[except these words, I guess]

...to support this, besides the tulpa – as a projection of Korekiyo's unconscious – can't be trusted with everything. Therefore, the only conclusion to be drawn is that Shinguji has invented such a goal out of despair caused by her death...

And in fact, he confirms it, yeap.

All of the above only convinces me that the quest. to gather. a hundred. female. friends. should. never. have. existed. This concept destroys everything from logic to the personality of Korekiyo Shinguji (or rather, those little particles are left of it). And that should be the fiction of his story.

Oh. Another line provoking the question "why is it..?".

❧ Yes, it's clear that Kiyo's understanding of love is distorted by the negative background of his relationship... But I would have described it in detail: in fact, Miyadera just never recognised him as anything more than a "little brother" or a "convenient, ephemeral lover". She didn't think they were similar in any way; that they could understand each other... An unbreakable, cold distance, full of endless illusions.

❧ But here I come to those Korekiyo's explanations that make me blaze as much as the "Shinguji is a maniac" concept.

So... At first, Kiyo claims that his goal wasn't to escape from the academy. In fact, it makes sense – there is no one and nothing waiting for him on the outside, all that he needs is inside him...

! Meanwhile, during the trial and just before it ends !, he remains nervous, panicky, angry and hysterical, afraid of being blamed (we've already confirmed this).

But then Kiyo suddenly contradicts the "I had no intention of escaping" thesis.

He declares that leaving the Academy would be a nice bonus for him, as he'd still be able to collect friends for his sister – he's just blighted by greed.

...What?!

So you're saying he behaved that way during the trial because he was still hoping to win..? That he has covered up the evidence behind him in order to get out of the academy..? (although, again, he DOESN't HAVE TO DO THAT – he can die in peace: his sister is happy, life after death continues!!)

I don't understaaaand 😫 It's so outrageously cynical! The facts add up to an unbearably illogical, contradictory mass, which in turn spoils the fans' attitude towards Korekiyo again... It breaks my heart.

☄ As you can see from the tone of the previous paragraph, I'm not going to end on a very positive note. A few hundred words ago, I promised to outline Korekiyo's main sin (read writer's)... So, I think it's about the circumstances under which Korekiyo decided to kill.

«Caged Child» séance.

An anthropologist who genuinely honours tradition... An anthropologist who's frankly delighted to have the opportunity to conduct a super-rare séance and communicate with the dead... Suddenly destroys everything that is part of his life's work in such a devil-may-care way? Are you _serious_?? Nothing could be more cynical than that. EVEN IF, as we know, the real reason for this attitude is love for his sister and the desire to give her 100 friends, this is no excuse, as anthropology and sister are still two closely linked things for Kiyo. It was Miyadera who encouraged him to develop their shared passion. It was Miyadera who made him a special uniform for field work. To betray anthropology is to betray his "true love", and how Kiyo can allow that to happen when he's so obsessed with this imposed love?? Doing this to your own brainchild is terrible.

And now, Korekiyo's last words:

By golly, if only the writers had left out those few rather deep, good lines – it would have been much better. I can't claim to be a literary genius, but the recipe sounds pretty simple to me:

We have a younger brother whose most important, closest person, who has built his life around her own leadership, is his ill older sister. The sister dies, the brother loses his mind in despair, and a little later gets involved into a killing game.

The organisers can erase his memory of his sister's death (provided he doesn't have a tulpa), or leave him with a tulpa and manipulate his mind with motives. Whether from chapter two or three – any motive will work. The main thing is to remind Korekiyo of how much he misses his sister, how much he misses the control he's so used to and/or the warmth, the voice, the visual embodiment of her.

This provokes a murder. Kiyo kills ONCE and NOT with an important anthropological séance, showing his respect. He tries to hide his direct involvement in the crime and panics at the trial because he has been taught – you cannot be wrong, Sister would not approve of your mistakes. One way or another, mistakes were made because of haste – his guilt is proved.

And well done o/ We get a character who resorts to killing because he can't deal with the death of someone dear to him and who had also abused him all his life. Touching – check ✔️ Empathy – ✔️ Cruelty – still ✔️ It's not so hard! .-.

But okay xD I hope you enjoyed reading this long analysis along with my still fresh impressions! ^^ I can't tell you how much I miss Kiyo continuing to play... But I have to move on, because the further I go, the more useful I find it. Thanks for your attention and have a nice day everyone – let's love Korekiyo Shinguji! 💖

#danganronpa #danganronpa killing harmony #drv3 #korekiyo shinguji #analysis #tw spoilers #❗kiyo's sis mention❗#phew that was a lot #I really put a lot of time and effort into it #If any thoughts and theories were repeated from others...#keep in mind that I didn't start reading tumblr posts about Kiyo very long ago and might not have seen it :D

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8bitsupervillain · 6 months ago

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Higurashi When They Cry Hou Ch. 5 Meakashi pt. Final

Because I have the brainrot I read the "why hello there" in the Ewan McGregor Obi-Wan Kenobi voice. I know I've used the phrase to be silly before, but you know what the real tragedy here is? Since this is an alternate ending written years after the fact I doubt we'll ever learn who it is Keiichi saw that day.

Although I guess you could view this as the universe righting itself and making sure that Keiichi dies in July 1983 like he was supposed to. Of course then you have to ignore Mion surviving, but details. Also this isn't Final Destination so...

At risk of sounding controversial I like this bad ending better than the actual ending for the chapter. I know that it probably doesn't exactly fit in with the rest of the series, but I like the new mystery of who killed Keiichi. It's kind of abrupt how it ends, but to be fair I didn't expect them to craft out a whole elaborate equally as dense ending for what's supposed to just be a bad ending. When the police raided the torture basement I figured that was about where the ending was going to stop if I'm honest. Maybe one or two additional screens about how Shion killed Keiichi and Mion, and then herself. I enjoyed the additional forty odd minutes of a new just as good ending.

Finishing the chapter you unlock a couple of post-game TIPS as well as the Staff Room.

Man, you and me both Kumagai. This TIP I feel was added to drive home the point about Shion and Mion just in case you didn't quite get the point. Which I admit maybe I didn't, or maybe I was just arguing against the twist because I didn't care for it.

This however was just a bonus little TIP I think. An introduction to a character who wasn't really in the chapter at all. There's really nothing to give me this feeling but I get a similar feeling looking at Akane Sonozaki here that I got looking at Kasumi Sumadera from Umineko. A character that I think might bear more significance to the overall plot than they actually do. Although now that I think about it Kasumi might be a sneaky little reference to the characterizations of Shion and Mion from Higurashi. Admittedly though this is just me reaching. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't curious what Oryou did to have to remove her own fingernails.

Lastly there's the Staff room.

Despite my complaints and what I fear may have come across as extreme negativity towards the chapter as a whole I quite liked Meakashi. The positives outweighed what are some hyper specific complaints I have about the narrative. Plus despite Satoko existing in this chapter to literally just be a punching bag I appreciated the new information we got to learn about all of the characters. Sure some of it might just be rehashing information we already knew (Satoko enduring extreme abuse/murder in an effort to try to bring back her brother, Rena seeming to know more about the spiritual/supernatural nature of the curse of Oyashiro). But I thought learning about the various intricate issues Shion has was worth it even as I found myself becoming less and less sympathetic towards her and her motives as the chapter went. Also despite not actually learning much new information about the curse killings I thought it was interesting to learn about how devoted the villagers are to the religion. In addition to how after Shion had killed or kidnapped the heads of the three families the curse killings seemed to have stopped entirely.

I know that the second half of the series is referred to as the Answers Arcs, but I think Meakashi did a decent enough job in seeding some more mysteries than it answered. Things like the motive behind Rika trying and failing to assassinate Shion. The fact that Oryou was also trying seemingly in vain to figure out who was behind the curse killings. Is the curse of Oyashiro real, and if so is it the phantom footsteps that followed and led to the demise of multiple prominent characters. What did set off the volcanic gas incident from Tatarigoroshi, was it truly divine in nature? A freak geological incident or something else? What actually happened to Satoshi? Multiple characters think he's dead but there really isn't any definitive proof one way or the other. Were the events of chapter four really just extra background exposition, or does it actually have larger relevance to the plot? Are the Sonozakis actually an evil iron-fisted criminal syndicate? That sort of thing.

At any rate, I'm very interested in the next chapter. I get more excited when I'm moving on to new stuff I know absolutely nothing about. Also if the question arcs are anything to go by this second chapter (chapter six) will probably be the best of the bunch.

#higurashi #higurashi when they cry #higurashi no naku koro ni #higurashi playthrough

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mecharose · 5 months ago

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steps i used to make this potion and chug it near-daily:

don't beat yourself up about not writing as much as you want/think you should

figure out the real reason, what's underlying your lack of motivation, and address that

set achievable goals, but always have a goal going

talk to writing friends about what you're working on

commission yourself with WIP art for free bonus motivation

elaboration under the cut bc long post lol

don't beat yourself up about it

literally this is the most important thing. this is a hobby and you are not failing at anything if you find it hard to motivate yourself to do it sometimes. we are all human and busy and stressed. that being said:

figure out what's actually stopping you from writing

usually "no motivation" has a very real reason behind it, and every possible reason has its own different solution.

wanting to write but not being able to could mean you're putting too much pressure on yourself to be perfect, or feeling out of practice. both of these have the same solution imo: get a "writing sketchbook" aka, a throwaway project that is something you can easily finish. e.g. short story, throwaway chapter of something, AU for your current project, etc. (I came up with the idea to try that bc i'm also an artist and sketching helps me loosen up before big pieces)

an additional solution for the latter is to break the rule of "no editing the first draft" in a very specific way: when I sit down to write a new chapter, i'll re-read the stuff that came before it and do line edits (wording, sentence structure) as I go. this gets me back to the groove of writing a wip without having to create new parts of it wholesale.

another one I run into often is just like. if I don't read a book for a while, I stop thinking in "writing mode" aka constructing scenes as written pieces of work rather than like. pictures i'm imagining in my head. so if you're having a hard time with the writing itself, I'd suggest reading a book that has a similar tone or vibe, or writing style you want your WIP to have!

set achievable goals

basically the "take it easy but take it" mentality. set a goal so you have something to work toward, but make it lower than what you think you can reasonably accomplish so you can still feel accomplished.

if you do this, anything you achieve *beyond* that goal will feel extra special and rewarding -- much better than setting a "reach goal" and then even big accomplishments toward it won't feel like "enough."

for me, this takes the form that I always have a 5,000 word goal each month. high enough that it gives me the kick in the pants to write whenever I have the time, low enough that it doesn't stress me out!

get a second opinion

if the problem is that you feel like your WIP is boring, it's the old wisdom that chances are high it's probably not, and you're too used to it.

sometimes the only real fix to that is rambling to someone about it ngl

the second opinion can also be you, needing a break from whatever your current project is, so you can come back to it later with fresh eyes.

also, having a person you can give your word count updates to, and talk about whatever you just wrote that you're excited about, keeps you both accountable *and* motivated via the outside hype. win-win :3

do WIP art

you're also an artist so I'm suggesting this one lol. I always get re-hyped to write when I draw my characters, like seeing them makes me Understand them more and want to tell their story. so maybe that would work for you too? :3

I hope this helped!! :D

hey uh does anyone have a recipe for Potion That Makes You Write

has anyone actually gone from not being able to write that often to a more consistent output and if so how did you do that

#daisywords #RAMBLING lol but i had to climb that particular mountain myself #and i love it when i can pass on my knowledge that I had to learn the hard way so my friends can do it the EZ way if possible :3 #lmk if any of this helped!! and if u would rather talk abt it in like DMs or smth if that might help. im down

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euphoricfilter · 2 years ago

Note

5 for any fic. 6 for "pretty puppy". 7, 9, 10.

-🖤

the first one is so hard

5. What do you wish someone would ask you about (any of my fics)? Answer it now!

literally anything, i love answering questions but i know tumblr is going downhill with interactions so idk how likely that's gonna be which is really sad because it was what i was looking forward to most when i started posting on here. so thank you to everyone that does interact with this blog, they all hold a special place in my heart

you know what i thought about doing the other day, those 'ask my characters anything' type things because i always found them so funny when i used to see other writers do them

6. What’s one fact about the universe of 'pretty puppy' that you didn’t get a chance to mention in the fic itself?

probably information surrounding yoongi's idol life, it's definitely something i glazed over and just left to the imagination and probably unrealistic considering what their actual schedules would be like

7. Any worldbuilding you’re particularly proud of?

looking back at it, i hate this series a lot now (i did think about deleting it but i spent so much time on it so it would just rot in a folder on my laptop) but considering it was one of my first pieces of writing, the 'To Build A Home' universe. i wouldn't say i'm proud of it per say, honestly i don't think i planned it out all that well and there's probably a ton of plot holes but as a (second) starter project it could have been a lot worse and i was able to build like a novel's worth of story (i think the final word count was the length of an average novel)

9. How do you find new fic to read?

if it's on tumblr then recently i've been using the 'for you' page. there's been quite a good few fics i've found on there. every fic i read on here i reblog though so you'll probably see everything i finish reading on tumblr

for ao3 i usually use the additional tag part in edit, i think that's what it's called, and then search whatever i'm looking for and browse a million pages until i find something i like the sound of and then if i really really liked the fic then i go to that writers profile and see if they have anything else i like the look of.

i read this really good kinktober series over the last few days actually, it was from 2019 i think

10. How do you decide what to write?

i don't think i have a distinct way of choosing. when i first started this blog it was based on what dreams i'd had. DTIK and TBAH were both based on scenarios i'd thought of before going to sleep, and then after that i guess stuff like 'helping hands' just came to me and i wrote the story down or if i saw a post that gave me an idea.

for requests, sue me but i haven't been writing them in order of when people submitted them. it honestly depends on how i'm feeling, or how inspired i am by the prompt or if i think i'll have time to finish it over like 2 or 3 days. like if i were to sit down and write something right now then i would veer away from smut requests because i feel so uninspired by smut after my last fic so i'd choose something softer. 'keep quiet' became a thing because i wanted to write a pwp and that request best fit that without me having to do any world building

so i guess i just pick what i feel like writing at the time, i get so eager to write and then lose motivation so quickly, so i think i choose what i know i'm going to enjoy writing. also kind of off topic but i despise starting fics, it's so hard, like i sit there for ages trying to figure out how to start writing, maybe that's what stops my motivation

the curse of starting a fic

#ask #🖤 anon #ask game #pretty puppy

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kjack89 · 4 years ago

Note

For the prompts for 300 fics, some kind of angst and reconciliation fic? I know that’s vague but I’m in the mood for some angst with a happy (or not!) ending, and you’re my go to for that :)

Angst with an optional happy ending? Nonny, you know me too well.

This is part 1 of what will be either multi-chaptered or just longer once I get it on AO3, so at the moment we’re just dealing with some light angst, and who doesn’t love that on a Saturday night. Hopefully the second part will be posted in a few days.

E/R, modern AU. Former relationship.

Enjolras pulled his hood even tighter over his blond curls and glanced over his shoulder before reaching up to feel for the key hidden on top of the door jamb. He was surprised, and more than a little concerned, when his fingers touched nothing but very dusty wood, and he chanced another glance over his shoulder before rapping lightly on the door.

The door opened no more than an inch. “Password,” a gruff voice barked, and Enjolras sighed.

He really should’ve known.

“Grantaire, if you don’t let me in, I will break down the door and use one of the splintered pieces of wood to kill you,” he said, as patiently and politely as he could, just in case someone was listening.

Grantaire opened the door enough to admit him, closing it after him and locking the doorknob lock and deadbolt before sliding the chain into place. “Firstly, I’d like to see you try,” he said with a grin that Enjolras did not return. “Secondly, for future reference, the password we were looking for was ‘my full glass’, with a security question of ‘what do I believe in?’.”

Enjolras tugged off his hoodie and balled it up before tossing it onto the couch, one of the few pieces of furniture in the tiny, cramped apartment. “Would you also have accepted ‘nothing’?” he asked waspishly.

“No, but I would’ve accepted ‘absolutely fucking nothing’,” Grantaire said cheerfully. “Adjectives matter.” His smile faded when he caught sight of the shiner beginning to darken around Enjolras’s left eye. “What happened?”

“Same thing that always happens,” Enjolras said.

Grantaire’s eyes narrowed. “Meaning you have other, less visible injuries that you’re not going to do anything about until it’s too late to keep them from getting worse?” he asked dryly

Enjolras rolled his eyes and dug his phone out of his pocket to send a quick text. “What are you even doing here?” he asked, purposefully ignoring Grantaire’s question.

He didn’t see the look Grantaire gave him, but he could hear it plainly enough in his voice. “It’s a safe house,” he said. “I think that’s somewhat self-explanatory.”

“No, I mean—” Enjolras did glance up then, to examine Grantaire for an impatient second before telling him, “I didn’t even see you at the protest.”

Grantaire shrugged. “I’m pretty sure we can charitably refer to that as a riot,” he said.

Enjolras rolled his eyes and looked back down at his phone, which he powered off before disassembling it to remove the SIM card. “Whatever nomenclature you want to give it aside—”

“Speaking of nomenclatures,” Grantaire interrupted, “can we talk about how we’re referring to this as a safe ‘house’?” He flopped down on the couch. “This is a safe studio apartment. And I’m being generous with the term ‘studio’.”

“It’s illegal,” Enjolras informed him without looking up from his phone.

“Well no shit, this place is just plain criminal.”

Enjolras tucked his SIM card in his wallet before setting his phone down on the coffeetable. “No, I mean it was illegally built. It won’t show up on any building schematics or floorplans.”

Grantaire blinked. “Meaning…?”

“Meaning as long as you and I are in here, we don’t exist.”

Understanding flitted across Grantaire’s face. “I can see how that would have its advantages,” he murmured before glancing up at Enjolras. “Speaking of, how long do you think you and I will be staying in this lovely 250 square foot box?”

Enjolras shrugged, going to pour himself a glass of water from the tap in the corner of the apartment designated as the kitchen. “Hard to say,” he said, carrying the water over to the coffeetable and hesitating for only a moment before dropping his cellphone into it. He looked at Grantaire. “I assume you took care of any of your electronics with a GPS signal?”

“Yeah, but unlike you, seeing as how I don’t have the disposable income to just buy a new iPhone after every riot, I just left mine at home.”

“I don’t buy a new phone after every riot,” Enjolras muttered, feeling his ears burning red, and he sat down on the futon with a huff. “Only ones that ended badly and with potential criminal charges.”

“So...every riot.”

“I certainly hope you find yourself amusing enough to get through the next few days,” Enjolras said sourly. “Because we’re going to be here awhile.”

Grantaire groaned and tipped his head back to rest it against the back of the couch. “What did you do this time?” he asked, sounding resigned. “Molotov cocktail? Improvised incendiary device?” He turned his head to give Enjolras a wink. “Of course, that’s more Courfeyrac’s style than yours…”

“None of the above,” Enjolras told him, suddenly wishing he still had his phone to give him something to do with his hands. “I, uh, may have – shoved a cop.”

Grantaire’s eyes narrowed. “Shoved?” he repeated. “What does shoved mean in this context?” He didn’t wait for Enjolras’s answer. “And keep in mind that I’m not a cop or a prosecutor before you decide to obfuscate or lie.”

Enjolras shrugged again. “Maybe not, but you could also be tried as an accessory if I explain further.”

“As if I wouldn’t immediately execute my fifth amendment right against self-incrimination.”

Enjolras half-smiled. “Cute,” he said. “But you weren’t there.”

Grantaire arched an eyebrow at him. “And it’s on them to prove that,” he said coolly.

“So you’d risk a perjury rap for me?” Enjolras asked skeptically.

Something darkened in Grantaire’s expression. “I’ve risked worse for you,” he muttered, and Enjolras looked away, feeling his face color and hating himself just a little for it.

He bit back his initial response of defensiveness, of turning the tables back on Grantaire and asking him just what, exactly, he had risked over the course of what one could charitably call a relationship and more accurately call a friends with benefits arrangement – but then again, when had they ever been friends? – but something in Grantaire’s expression stopped him.

Or maybe it was just because he was stuck with his ex for the foreseeable future, and even he knew this was a bridge not worth burning right that moment.

“A cop decided to beat up a Black girl,” he said. “She couldn’t have been more than 14, and he didn’t even bother with his baton. She was on the ground and he wouldn’t stop, so I…” He trailed off and shrugged. “I stepped in.”

Grantaire let out a low whistle. “So you’re looking at aggravated battery,” he mused, looking up at the ceiling. “That’s, what, a class X felony? So you’re looking at 6 to 30, unless you can plead it down.”

Enjolras made a face. “Battery’s a stretch,” he said dismissively. “I’ll probably get slapped with aggravated assault.”

“Because the state’s attorney’s office is going to take one look at your record and decide to be generous.”

Enjolras barked a laugh and shook his head. “How do you know all this anyway?”

Grantaire shrugged. “I watch a lot of Law & Order reruns.” He gave Enjolras a critical look. “But potential criminal charges aside, are we just supposed to wait here with no link to the outside world until things blow over or something?”

It was Enjolras’s turn to shrug. “Or something.”

Grantaire sighed. “Great,” he said mournfully. “Well, thankfully, I was planning on quitting my job anyway, or I’d definitely be fired after this next round of no-call, no-shows.” He shoved himself up off the couch and slumped over to the small refrigerator humming ominously in the kitchen, and he opened the tiny freezer portion, pulling out a miniature ice cube tray. “That’s just pathetic,” he said, shaking his head.

Enjolras frowned. “Please don’t tell me you’re already making yourself a drink.”

“Hilarious,” Grantaire said. “But I already checked, and the only booze someone thought to stock this joint with is a couple bottles of bourbon, and I take my bourbon neat.” He cracked the ice cube tray into a ragged dishcloth, which he bundled up before carrying it over to Enjolras, holding it out for him. “This is for you, to try to keep that eye from getting worse,” he said, a little gruffly.

“Thanks,” Enjolras said, hesitating for only a moment before taking the dishcloth-wrapped ice and holding up to his eye, wincing at the cold.

Grantaire looked at him carefully. “I’m guessing from the way you’re sitting, you’ve also got hit in the ribs – bruised or broken?”

“I’m sure they’re just bruised,” Enjolras assured him, but judging by the look on Grantaire’s face, he didn’t believe him.

Instead, he returned to the kitchen and refilled the ice tray, placing it back in the freezer. “So what are we gonna do now?” he asked off-handedly.

Enjolras shrugged. “Honestly? I have no idea. I’ve never exactly been someone good at relaxing.”

Grantaire snorted. “No shit, Sherlock.”

Enjolras arched an eyebrow, watching with his one good eye as Grantaire flopped down on the couch again. “You know, there was once a time when you would’ve given anything for it to be just you and me, alone, with no outside world for a few days.”

He had intended for it to be a funny, lighthearted memory, but he knew immediately by the way Grantaire sucked in a breath that it had landed as anything but that. They clearly weren’t to the point of joking about what they’d once had yet – if they’d ever get to that point. “Yeah, well,” Grantaire said, carefully avoiding Enjolras’s eyes, “that was a long time ago.”

Enjolras felt himself flush, but before he could offer some kind of apology, or explanation, Grantaire cleared his throat. “I think I’m just going to take a nap,” he said, still avoiding looking at Enjolras. “Riots really take it out of me.”

“Oh, right,” Enjolras said, hurrying to stand. “You can have the futon—”

“Nope, I got dibs on the couch.”

Enjolras frowned. “Take the futon,” he said. “I’m not going to make you sleep on the couch.”

“And I’m not going to make the person with potentially busted ribs sleep on the couch,” Grantaire shot back. “Besides, I checked out the futon before you arrived, and trust me, you’re not doing me any favors by switching.”

He said it with a sort of forced levity that told Enjolras not to push it further, so he didn’t. “If you say so,” he muttered instead, standing up and making his way over to the small pile of books stacked along one wall, hoping he could find something to keep his attention.

By the time he returned to the futon with a novel that looked like it might do the trick – or at least make him angry enough that he’d have written a very thorough letter to the book’s publisher by the time he got out of there – Grantaire had rolled over onto his side, his back to Enjolras, ostensibly asleep.

But even though it had been a while since they had slept in the same bed, let alone the same room, Enjolras still knew Grantaire well enough to know when he was faking being asleep. And as he cracked open the book he had grabbed, he knew that Grantaire’s too-even breathing definitely indicated that he was not actually sleeping.

Which meant he preferred pretending to sleep to Enjolras’s company.

If that was any indication of how their time stuck together in the safe house was going to go, Enjolras couldn’t help but feel that they would both be very lucky if they made it out of there alive.

>>Read part 2 here>>

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galahadenough · 3 years ago

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I finally put together a review of Loki (TV Series). I've always been a huge Marvel fan, a huge MCU fan, but this show was horrific to me. Especially since I saw the show through to the end, I wanted to write a review for the main reviewing websites. I want this side to be heard. All it took was an immense amount of rage to get me to write reviews!

I’m planning on posting it on imdb, Rotten Tomatoes, and google reviews. So far I’ve gotten errors and issues with RT and google, and I’m hoping it doesn’t get lost on imdb. Any other places to leave reviews?

It took me a while to write this. I had to calm down a lot to make it coherent. Then I had to figure out how to condense it. I felt like a review should be my main points, but it took a lot of editing to get it down this much. (Then I had to make an edited version because google has much smaller word limits).

Thanks a lot @iamnmbr3. Your blog was the first one I found on the topic and it was a huge help. The show felt off from the first episode, but I couldn’t figure out why. Your analysis on the show really helped me to verbalize what I was feeling.

Review (except shorter on google):

As a huge MCU fan, I found the show to be intolerable. The plot was slow with way too much filler for the length of the show, and much of the filler felt purposeless. They could have deleted entire scenes or plot points without changing much if any of the story. The creators deliberately made the aesthetic average and mundane, which didn’t pair well with the underwhelming plot. The show relied heavily on slapstick humor, almost all of which was directed at the title character in a manner that encouraged laughter at his pain and stupidity. It would have been better suited for a cartoon, but it would be a cruel cartoon.

The TVA was presented as the better of two evils despite it being a totalitarian organization utilizing genocide and torture, both physical and mental. It felt very reminiscent of the book 1984 with the Thought Police, but the TVA was never truly represented as evil. Not one character opposed them as a hero or from a moral standpoint. All opposition came from a personal or self-serving motive. I’m not wanting every character to be brilliantly moralistic. That would be boring. But you don’t set up an organization like the TVA and say that they are providing a good and needed service, which was the idea the series was based on and ended on.

Mobius has a personality that is very easy to like, but he is very much complicit with the TVA. He happily 'does his job' of genocide and torture. He is Loki's captor, but we are informed he is his friend. When he isn't actively using physical or mental manipulation and torture, he is deriding and mocking him. There was nothing to indicate that they were friends outside of being told that is true. Mobius was never used as a villain by the show despite him fitting the mold well, but he also never has a redemption arc that would have made him a good hero. His reason for working against the TVA is because they lied to him, not because there is any moral reason. His change in alliances happened without much buildup, no gradual discovery throughout the series.

Sylvie felt like a caricature of a character, with very little to her personality other than grit. I was very bored with her. She was a tough, strong, and perfect character that lacked any other depth or nuance. She was called “terrifying” for being female, which felt horrifyingly sexist. She was yet another source of derision and mocking towards Loki.

Loki, the character, was very poorly written. He has always had a great deal of emotional depth that makes him interesting. He was acted with a range from extreme subtlety to riveting explosions of emotion in previous movies. His past is filled with good and bad choices, made with good and bad intentions. He was the villain who tried to be a hero and the hero who tried to be a villain. They took all that away and made him a side character in his own show who had little to no effect on the plot.

For abilities, he lacked his usual physical fighting prowess. He did very little magic, seeming awed when others used magic. His personality and mannerisms changed drastically. His gestures and expressions in this show were over the top and felt clownish, especially for a character that is known for his subtlety. He felt hyperactive and painfully eager to please everyone. His character is known for his manipulations, but his method of 'manipulation' here is to inform others that he is 'ten steps ahead' of them and is going to trick them. I don’t think that’s a good method of manipulation? Plus, the only effect he had on the plot was to slow down the other characters through his bumbling failures.

In addition, Loki was almost always the target of cruelty. This entire show felt like it was made to mock this character. They used every opportunity to tell us, and Loki, how terrible Loki is. How he is irredeemable and incapable of change. That he is a narcissist, which is inaccurate, and that any Loki is inherently untrustworthy. From birth, I suppose. Physical attacks, such as the slow-motion punch and the time loop where he was repeatedly kicked in the crotch, made me cringe. This show encouraged the enjoyment of cruelty.

As a last point, the show used the idea of representation to draw in viewers while avoiding having actual representation. The show was lauded as being good for bisexual and genderfluid representation. From what I’ve heard, the genderfluid representation was a mark on Loki’s paperwork, which you would need to pause at just the right moment to see. Plus, that makes the “terror” at a female Loki make even less sense. The bisexual representation was shown through a single word, and the character was only shown to be so when they made an entire show to mock and belittle him. That is not good representation.

I was very excited for this show, as well as for the next phase of the MCU. This has left me very disappointed and disheartened. I may not be entirely finished with the MCU, but this is the first part of the series that has killed my excitement for future releases. I get a sinking feeling when I hear about future projects now. I have enjoyed debating creative choices before, but this is not simply creative choices. It is too much cruelty, combined with poor writing and a lack of continuity.

#loki tv #loki #loki series negativity #loki series #mcu #mcu critical #review

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the-odd-job · 2 years ago

Text

Close Your Eyes to This Disaster Chapter 8: You Better Be My Princess

Rating: Explicit Warnings: Chose Not to Use, Rape/Non-Con Category: Other Fandom: Transformers G1 Relationships: Megatron/Sunstreaker, Megatron/Sideswipe, Sideswipe & Sunstreaker Characters: Sunstreaker, Sideswipe, Megatron Additional Tags: Dubcon, Sticky, Abusive Relationships, Mind Games, Manipulation, Gaslighting, Canon-Typical Violence Words: 5217

I got a very lovely comment on this on AO3 which kinda gave me the motivation boost I needed to finish the next chapter \o/ (Read on AO3)

(Previous)

There were the smart things to do, and then there were the things they did. Those two didn’t always meet. A lot of the time they didn’t meet, really.

They didn’t do so this time either. They knew, they very fragging well knew, that they needed to tell someone about Megatron before… What? They weren’t sure before what. Would Megatron opt to just kidnap them at some point, when they refused to do as he pleased? Whatever he pleased was, beyond just talking with them and fragging them. It would be a little too late to tell anyone at that point, but it wasn’t like they knew what Megatron was actually up to.

Which was the exact reason they should tell someone. Whatever it was, it couldn’t be good, and who knew how much control they’d be left with at the end of it.

But they could always control their own actions. For one, by pitting telling someone, but second… By not doing the worse things Megatron wanted from them. Like defecting. They weren’t going to defect, so… That was already Megatron opposed in the most important way. Wasn’t that the matter that mattered the most, their defection?

And the rest? The talking, the fragging? They shouldn’t exactly be doing any of that either, but it was ultimately pretty harmless, wasn’t it? But admitting to it would put them in a bit of a bad light. They weren’t too eager to do that.

As such, they didn’t do the smart thing. They didn’t tell anyone, even after spending hours in their quarters angsting about it and going back and forth on their decision—to tell or to not tell. Who to tell? Ratchet? Ironhide? Jazz? Prowl? Prime, even? All good choices. How to tell? Come clean with everything? That was a good idea, wasn’t it? Just lay it all out, be honest. Sure, their preceding secrecy was going bite them in the aft, no doubt, but what was the absolute worst that could happen for it? Nothing they couldn’t handle.

They came to all those decisions, and yet… They kept quiet. By the end of their hours long debate during which scarcely a word was spoken, Sunstreaker was standing at the center of their room, Sideswipe sitting on their berth, and they stared at each other. They knew, they knew they were doing the stupidest fucking thing they could–

But true to form, they did it anyway.

They kept quiet. They didn’t tell anyone. Whatever came, they’d… Handle it on their own. If nothing else, that way their already overall shaky reputation wasn’t going to get completely wrecked.

A part, a rather large part of ‘handling it on their own’, was telling Megatron to shove it where the sun didn’t shine. In their lack of certainty of how to do that without it all getting spun around on them, they very deliberately gave Megatron no chance to meet with them by simply staying in the Ark or its immediate vicinity. It would be just until they figured out a foolproof way to put an end to things.

There had to be one. Even if it wasn’t easy, even if it’d take some doing to thoroughly discourage Megatron… There had to be way.

Unfortunately the lack of such for the time being—their inability to act in any meaningful direction—was prime for breeding frustration. Frustration at their situation, at themselves, and most of all, at Megatron for being the underlying cause for slagging all of it–

They couldn’t aim it at him, so it was aimed at mostly everyone else instead. By Sunstreaker, for the most part, though Sideswipe didn’t manage a clean incident record either, not even for a week. In their defense, no one ended up in the medbay, and no one ended up in the brig. That was practically them behaving themselves.

Not that others were wont to appreciate the abuse even if it was just verbal. One shouting match between Sunstreaker and Tracks was cut by Ironhide before it had the time to progress into physical blows, which, considering it was Tracks… Yeah, chances were it would have ended Sunstreaker’s streak of no medbay or brig time.

“Shut yer traps, both of you!” Ironhide thundered into the middle of their conversation, physically shoving them apart. It was only his hand on his chestplate that even alerted Sunstreaker to his presence, so focused was he on stripping Tracks of all of his dignity. He glared down at the weapons specialist, then slightly further down at Tracks who also had one of Ironhide’s servos on his chassis, bodily keeping the two frontliners from each other.

But at least they’d quieted aside from the furious roar of their engines, one trying to beat the other in volume and both failing to gain the upper hand. There were also the daggers that they were glaring at each other, admirable effort going into stabbing each other with their optics only.

Ironhide was glaring too, though his distrustful gaze moved between them, judging if one or the other was likely to try to act despite his intervention. “The slag’s this about, anyway?”

“…Nothing in particular,” Sunstreaker responded after a delay, snarling from his vocalizer when Tracks echoed the sentiment and having that snarl returned right back at him—that was, until Ironhide’s growl rang loudest of them all, putting an end to the younger mechs’ posing.

But really, it wasn’t about anything… What was it about, anyway? An excuse so inconsequential he couldn’t remember what had even started it. What mattered was undoing Tracks by any means necessary–

They’d gotten interrupted now, though, and the steam was quickly leaving the both of them. “’Nothin’ in particular’, eh?” Ironhide repeated skeptically, watching them slowly, deliberately relax their postures.

“Indeed,” Tracks confirmed icily, the first one to take a step back to remove the contact with Ironhide’s servo. Ironhide let his arm drop before he raised an optical ridge at Sunstreaker very, very meaningfully.

Sunstreaker huffed, but after just a moment of defiance… He too took a step back as well, effectively defusing the situation.

Ironhide grunted his approval before ordering them with, “Now, scatter,” crossing his arms and transferring his glare from one to the next—and then at the small audience Sunstreaker realized they’d gathered. That shouldn’t have come as a surprise considering the volume they’d used. Likely the whole Ark knew they were at it once again.

But, obediently the observing mecha hurried off, only Tracks and Sunstreaker dallying to grace one another with one more vicious glare promising pain in their futures, before they departed in opposite directions.

Sunstreaker stalked into their quarters to cool off the rest of the way with less of a risk of chopping someone’s helm off in the attempt. They were empty when he entered, but he wasn’t alone for long before Sideswipe followed after him, flopping onto his front on the berth Sunstreaker had seated himself on.

Now, him and Tracks having… Disagreements, that wasn’t anything unusual. The day would likely never come when they got along, but this time?

This time things had come to a head only because of Megatron. Slightly indirectly, sure, but what they wouldn’t blame on the warlord right now, just to make it easier to say no to him however many times it took to make him back off.

How satisfying it would’ve been to bash the tyrant’s entire helm in, but Sunstreaker knew that was never happening. He still thirsted for any way to rub his displeasure in Megatron’s slagging face–

…Face.

Or rather, ‘face.

Now there was an idea.

Sideswipe’s optics were already alight with gleeful mischief when Sunstreaker met his gaze. Megatron had made such a number out of his desire that they no longer interfaced with anyone else. It was questionable if he actually had the methods to find out even if they did do that… But it didn’t even matter where Megatron learned it from. They might as well tell it to him themselves.

But on the off chance Megatron did find out their partner’s identity and did make good on his threat of making that individual pay…

“Tracks,” they said in unison, Sideswipe with a guffaw and Sunstreaker with a sneer. Who cared even if something happened to him? Not them at least, and that was the bit that mattered.

Course decided, they gave it a day for tempers to mellow on Tracks’ side as well before Sideswipe… Approached him. Sunstreaker was nowhere to be seen, and in instances such as this, it did at least serve them well that most had no understanding of how inherently connected they were.

“What do you want?”

“Sorry about Sunny’s whole deal yesterday,” Sideswipe said with sincerity born from his acting skills and nothing else. Sunstreaker smirked in the privacy of their quarters. “You didn’t get in trouble for it or anything, did you? It wasn’t your fault.”

A snort from their quarry. “Of course it wasn’t my fault, it’s your brother we’re talking about here… But no, I didn’t get in any trouble. Thanks for asking.”

Sideswipe showed none of their annoyance at the dig at Sunstreaker’s character, just took a careful step closer with a suggestive purr of his engine. It was a balancing act with making his intent clear without accidentally looming over the shorter mech, but Sideswipe had long, long practice with the art. “Wanna let me make it up to you anyway?”

Track hesitated for a second before coming to an apparent decision, after which his field unfurled and bespoke his interest, as did the once-over he gave Sideswipe. “Well, if you’re offering,” their fellow warrior mused, broadcasting his intent ahead of time and giving Sideswipe time to stop him—something Sideswipe didn’t do—before his servo tipped between the red twin’s legs and dragged over his valve cover.

Score. Sideswipe’s grin wasn’t victorious, only pleased, but Sunstreaker’s smaller smile sure was. “Your quarters.”

For eight days, nothing unusual happened. The brothers continued to be grouchy to varying degrees, but they did their duties and didn’t stray far enough from the Autobot base to get caught in any… Less than pleasant situations. Deciding on the best course of action was proving troublesome. They knew Megatron, and one would have thought that that knowledge would help them counter him.

Quite the opposite. It only enabled them to conclude that anything they thought up would likely be countered by Megatron. The champion gladiator turned warlord was a foe beyond formidable in all areas, assuming he hadn’t lost any of his edge over the vorns—and they had no reason to think he had. Their recent encounters were proof in favor of Megatron still being every inch the mech he’d used to be, and then some.

Eight days, but on the ninth?

“Did you hear?”

It wasn’t directed at them, but from their rec room table the twins still overheard Smokescreen gossiping with some of the minibots.

“Hear what?” Cliffjumper asked, frowning.

“Tracks is in the medbay,” Smokescreen divulged with a tone unusually somber for him. That caught their full attention, but Sunstreaker only glanced at the lot from the corner of their optic even as their spark sped up in its rotation. “And in a bad, bad shape, too.”

The minibots shared looks amongst themselves before Windcharger spoke up. “What happened?”

“He and Hound were attacked on their patrol. No, scratch that, that sounds misleading. Hound barely has a dent on him–“

…Ah. The message was rather clear? To them, at any rate, and they had no doubt it was directed at them and them alone.

Megatron knew. Somehow, who knew how, he’d found out, and just like he’d said… Their partner of choice had paid the price.

Well, this was why they’d chosen Tracks.

“So!” Smokescreen’s voice growing somewhat louder pulled their attention back to him, “Anyone want to bet if our good friend Tracks pulls through?”

That bad, huh?

“Smokes, that’s low, even for you,” Bumblebee grimaced, followed by most occupants of the room jumping at the voice coming from the rec room door.

“You will take no such bets,” Prowl spoke, ice cold in both vocals and the look in his optics. Smokescreen shrunk back when he SIC approached him, one doorwinger’s doors held stiff and high, the other’s drooping in chagrin. “And if I find out you did…”

He didn’t finish, which left a few too many things up for imagination. Knowing Prowl’s punishments…

Smokescreen nodded meekly. “Understood loud and clear, sir.”

Prowl nodded brusquely before glancing around the room at large, “And if anyone takes part in this bet that will not happen, there will be consequences for them as well.”

With that promise, he turned on his heel and marched to the energon dispenser in a rather unusual move of getting a cube for himself. If the twins had to guess, Prowl had rightly predicted that Smokescreen would be up to something like this upon finding out about Tracks’ incident.

So far, though, nothing suggested anyone connected it to them in any way. Not much of a reason why anyone would have, really, but if someone leapt to that conclusion…

As the days progressed, no one appeared to come any closer to thoughts like that, though. The overarching theme was deep confusion for why Tracks had so clearly and brutally gotten targeted, and only the twins had the answer. Obviously they told not a single spark, but it still left them to do some puzzling of their own.

Facts: it turned Megatron was very intent on not allowing them to interface with anyone else again. What that made him was one controlling bastard. They hadn’t even agreed to continuing their relationship, had only had their memories restored— without their consent, one might add—and despite that detail of not agreeing to a damn thing, apparently they were supposed to continue right where they left off.

Except… Would things ever have ended without their then-owner’s unwanted intervention? Where would they be without it? With the Decepticons, as Decepticons? Would they have joined the revolution?

Stayed by Megatron’s side, still in a relationship with him?

But no, no, nothing said that would be the case. The vorns between then and now were near countless. Anything could have happened. They could have opted to break up with him, could have ended up defecting to the Autobots anyway, or pits, they could have simply died. They were good, but not invincible.

Any number of things could have taken place had things gone differently, and what could have been simply didn’t matter. Only what was right now and what they wanted mattered in the present. There was no point thinking about alternative timelines they weren’t a part of.

So what did they want?

Getting their choice in berth partners would be a damn fine start.

They still weren’t sure how to make Megatron believe once and for all there was nothing between them anymore, but the least they could do was regain their right to interface with who they pleased—somehow. How would they do even that much? Primus only knew, but at the very least they would do their damnedest—and to that end, not doubt themselves, because if there was even a shred of doubt… Megatron would use it.

That much they were sure of.

They gave it just enough time to make it look like Tracks’ near death experience and the change in their behavior weren’t immediately connected, then expanded their pleasure drive routes enough to give Megatron ample opportunity to show up like he fragging loved to do. It was starting to look like they were under some rather intense surveillance if Megatron could not only turn up in their way whenever he pleased, but also knew who they berthed.

And sure enough, sure enough, it was only their third longer range drive that Megatron was there. He had hid his signature, again, but they still found themselves less surprised than in the past times. After all, this was the outcome they had been after: to meet with him.

They’d barely transformed out of their alt-modes on the road in front of the tyrant before Sunstreaker already stated a simple truth. “You slagged Tracks.” Mild as they came, little in the way of emotional reaction—but it didn’t look like Megatron was surprised by their lack of upset.

“I said I would, didn’t I?” was all he responded with, taking the two steps needed to close the distance between them.

They held their ground up even when Megatron started to… Circle Sideswipe. His steps were slow, measured; his optics: calculating, and Sideswipe couldn’t help tensing, then starting when Megatron’s claws landed on his neck.

But they didn’t do more than trace along his neck cabling and armor, so massive in comparison to the red mech despite the twins’ own, not inconsiderable statures.

Massive, yet gentle—as was his voice when he continued. “I question why you would go through with it, when you knew how I felt about it… When you knew what I would do.” His servo slid across Sideswipe’s shoulders and upper chassis until he was behind the red twin again. There he gently but firmly tilted Sideswipe’s helm back by the underside of his chin, until Sideswipe was meeting his optics.

His brother had caught his lower lip between his denta, discomforted in the situation. It was becoming clear enough Megatron knew which frame of theirs they had used.

He knew far too much. How?

Sunstreaker growled in threat and aggravation, but by the Pits he knew better than to step in Megatron’s way to get him to stop harassing Sideswipe. At best he’d only get swept aside, having accomplished nothing.

He didn’t hold back his words, though. “Why would I give a slag about how you felt?” Sunstreaker began, glaring daggers up at the larger mech who hardly even acknowledged his presence. “We haven’t been in a relationship for millennia upon millennia, we still aren’t in a relationship, and I’m damn well going to live like the free mech I am and ‘face whoever I damn well please– Are you even listening?“

Megatron reacted in no way to his tirade, merely stroked one of his claws along Sideswipe’s throat—up down, up down. Sunstreaker didn’t get so much as a glance sent his way! The golden twin snarled, frustration prompting him to throw his arms up… But he spat out the last of his words, heard or no. “You can’t expect us to act as if we are exclusive!”

Finally Megatron glanced at him. It was just a brief thing, his helm not even moving, but optics flicking to the side for a second or two. Sunstreaker was going to count that as a victory, though, however minor.

But then it was over and Megatron went back to laying all of his disturbing attention on Sideswipe. It would have been a staring contest if there had been any contest involved, but as it was it was nothing but a hostage situation. Megatron may as well have held Sideswipe at a gunpoint, his gaze bore down on him with such inherent danger…

Even though there was nothing in his touch, in his optics, but… Tenderness.

Yet they knew better than to fall for it. So much better.

All was quiet for a moment long enough to cause Sideswipe to fidget and Sunstreaker to tense up as their disquiet grew to gargantuan proportions. Their ventilations hitched on the same cycle, and still Megatron did nothing. Nothing but touch, and stare.

It felt wrong to break the silence on their part, though. They’d already said their piece. The ball was in Megatron’s court right now.

And he wasn’t moving it.

Sunstreaker’s engine was roaring with tension before Megatron deigned to say something, anything. “I remember,” was what he started with when he did, and oh, if the brothers’ attention wasn’t rapt on him, “our exclusivity in the Pits–“ one servo kept at Sideswipe’s throat while the other began to wander, good and proper, tracing down Sideswipe’s front, briefly pausing at his insignia, then continuing onward.

So terribly distracting, but they tried to keep even a part of their focus on his words, even as Megatron’s intent grew more clear with the way seams were gently scratched on the way down, down. Sideswipe shivered from helm to pede, unable to look with his helm held tipped as it was… And so it fell to Sunstreaker to stare at the paths Megatron’s claws took along his twin’s frame.

“–And how you were perfectly alright with it,” the tyrant finished with, voice an almost gentle rumble as he reached Sideswipe’s codpiece, briefly circled the edges of his spike cover, then passed it to dip between his legs. His servo accepted no resistance and its sheer size left Sideswipe with no option but to spread his legs.

That was different, they would’ve wanted to say.

That was then, this is now.

That was what they should have said, but Megatron silenced them before they had the chance to do more than open their mouth–

By leaning down the rest of the way and pressing his lips to Sideswipe’s.

Shock and surprise froze them in place, the gentle movement of Megatron’s lips against Sideswipe’s quickly drawing a confused mewl from his brother. Megatron fondled the edges of his valve cover all the while, the sensation from down there and up here suspending Sideswipe between them—stuck, so very stuck.

It was only when his vents opened and his fans began to whir faster that Megatron pulled away from his mouth, to kiss its corner, then Sideswipe’s cheek–

“Would you go exclusive for us?” Sunstreaker asked breathlessly, but proud of himself for managing to make his voice entirely accusatory. “Or just expect us to stop ‘facing others?” While doing whatever the frag he pleased, himself… Wouldn’t surprise him.

There was no answer for a moment, Megatron not one to be rushed to go any faster or calmed to go any slower than what he wanted the pace to be. And, right now, that was slow as he leaned to kiss Sideswipe’s neck—there weren’t even denta involved.

Only once he himself deigned to do so did Megatron pull away for his voice to be fully heard. “If you want me to.”

Well, that was the way things had been– No.

That was then–

This was–

This–

Megatron swept Sideswipe off his pedes entirely, effortlessly, pulling a gasp from the red twin as he was laid onto the ground on his back, softly, entirely unharmed by the process.

Not so much as a scratch on his finish.

Confused, Sideswipe tried to prop himself up on his elbows, but with a, “Shh,” Megatron ever gently but so very firmly pushed him down by a servo on his chassis.

Confused, Sideswipe nevertheless obeyed, not that he had much option under the pressure applied upon him.

Megatron knelt between his legs and their spark quickened its rotation, faster, faster, as they thought they knew where this was once again going to go. Sunstreaker took a step closer to put a stop to it, somehow, in any way necessary–

But halted when Megatron didn’t… Do that. Do what they’d expected.

Because instead of anything else, he caught Sideswipe’s under his knees and lifted his lower half until only his brother’s shoulders were touching the ground anymore, bending at the waist himself–

Until he could lay a kiss directly on his twin’s valve cover.

Sideswipe stared. Sunstreaker stared—they stared until they felt their optics might burn from the strain of their disbelief–

“Open for me?” Megatron purred.

–But it wasn’t as if this hadn’t happened before either—just a very long time ago.

Which way was up, which way was down, were they sideways—the world promptly decided to stop making any manner of sense when Megatron licked a stripe on the panel, requesting entry…

And later on they’d blame it on being caught entirely off guard and nothing else, but Sideswipe’s cover slid out of the way before conscious thought had caught up and their better sense could have had him refuse.

Megatron waited none after that obstacle had been done away with, his glossa slipping inside and wasting no time hunting down Sideswipe’s nodes with the same practiced certainty he’d displayed every time prior. It was… Fragging incredible. Not just the feeling of it. Oh, that certainly was too, because Megatron knew them too well and could make it feel so good and make it look damn easy… But also the who it was doing what.

Megatron, doing something that didn’t benefit him in any way. He was getting nothing out of this, only Sideswipe was—and Sideswipe was getting much, much out of this, his vents gasping and back arching as charge started to build in his valve, spread into his frame. His valve slicked steadily, not that Megatron’s glossa would’ve needed the aid next to his oral lubricant.

It was selfless in a way they never would have associated with the warlord–

But it wasn’t unheard of. They’d been here before, they knew this was a possibility, and that it wasn’t selfless because nothing with Megatron ever was–

There was always a game he was playing, a goal he was working towards.

And right now, they could guess that goal was to undo them.

He was… Very successful at that. Sunstreaker’s legs shook of their own accord and Sideswipe closed his optics against the torrent of sensation Megatron ruthlessly but lovingly created in his frame. His brother only managed to bite back half of his moans, the rest slipping free against their will.

Once he was so ready, so very ready for anything more, just something… That was when Megatron lowered his frame back down, only to change his hold and cup his aft instead, raising and tilting it for a spike that seemed to have come out of nowhere. It wasn’t a rough, sudden entry, though. Instead there was just the pressure at his entrance at first, that built, steadily built… Until his first caliper gave way, drawing a soft moan from Sideswipe. Megatron pushed in slowly, taking his time, pulling just a bit back, then further in…

Primus. The way he inched inside annihilated all sensation of pain or discomfort, excess strain, of the far too much that could have so easily followed their size difference. There was nothing but that slick sense of fullness in the best of ways, every node in his valve brushed against by Megatron’s length and girth—everything given sensation to, nothing left unattended.

And when he pulled back out until only the tip remained inside, only to press himself back inside so languidly… When he began to repeat that movement, without any rush…

Just taking his time. Slow. Gentle.

So very gentle.

It felt like their whole world had cracked and shattered, but not from a sudden, violent smash. Rather, pressure had been steadily applied until cracks had formed, and ever on until those cracks had multiplied to a critical point—and then all the broken pieces rained onto the floor. When had he fallen onto his knees? Sunstreaker didn’t know, he only became aware of staring at the ground sightlessly, lost in the current emanating from Sideswipe.

Megatron was purring, covering Sideswipe’s entire frame with his far greater bulk, trapping him in sensation, vibration, heat—no choice but to feel it all, no escape even if he’d had a single thought in that direction.

…He didn’t have a single thought in any direction, really. If one tried to form, the next thrust swiftly doomed it to oblivion.

There was nothing but the pleasure in his frame, burning, intense, yet building so slowly that it never started to feel unbearable.

It didn’t break suddenly, either. All it was was a steady climb to the peak, they could almost count the seconds… The crest… Then the fall that bloomed from their core. Pleasure rushed through their lines, touching every part of them. Charge released, danced. One of them moaned wordlessly, the other Megatron’s name—past and present blurred together to erase the time in between until now was just as then.

Megatron rumbled at his own peak, joining their release with heat that flooded their valve and playful charge that passed between their frames, extending the high for them both. The muddling pleasure lingered far longer than it had any right to, and even when it finally began to dispel, it was slowly, giving them back their faculties at an embarrassing pace.

Once they gained enough awareness to make sense of their surroundings, Megatron had already pulled out of Sideswipe, landing just a brief kiss on his slack lips—Sideswipe blinked, too slow to react—before he pushed himself to his pedes. How he managed to look so unaffected was a question reserved for mecha that had more of their processing power available.

Sunstreaker lifted his helm blearily when Megatron’s pedesteps vibrated his ground and indicated his approach. The tyrant crouched in front of him, grabbed him by the jaw and kissed him too—but this, roughly. Possessively. It was all denta and sent an electric shock along Sunstreaker’s core.

He cursed himself internally.

“Remember who you belong to,” Megatron not-quite-growled when he pulled away, then released him, took a step back, let their gazes linger for a moment…

Only to transform and take to the skies without a further word.

Sideswipe didn’t bother trying to get up yet. Sunstreaker didn’t bother trying to think too hard yet, just spent the time trying to shoo off the fog on his processors before he’d do anything further.

It took a while, but eventually Sideswipe pushed himself up on his elbows, then to seated, blinking at the mess on his groin before looking back at Sunstreaker. Sunstreaker met his optics, and with more and more of their thoughts being freed from the grasp of being utterly overwhelmed… Their minds started to run madly the moment they escaped the clutches of what Megatron had afflicted them with.

Now what, was the thought at the forefront, followed soon after by what just happened.

Megatron just happened, in all his might that wasn’t always only physical. He was… So incredibly much. A power that could not be fought, both the unstoppable force and the immovable object, inescapable, never to be trounced or dodged.

And they were his target.

Who did they think they were to against him? What were their chances? They’d made less than no progress on getting him off their case today, utterly failed at setting any boundaries–

They should tell someone by now. It was becoming apparent this… This wasn’t something they could clear on their own. That stung—to be so outmatched they needed to ask for who knew how much help to just be free of this… But wouldn’t it be worth it?

Though no doubt the likes of Prowl and Jazz could put two and two together and figure out they were the reason Tracks nearly died. That could get… Unpleasant.

But what choice did they have?

What choice did they have?

#transformers #maccadam #megatron #sunstreaker #sideswipe #fic #2021 #disaster

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darkershining · 2 years ago

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Just watched episode 41, where Yui’s family throw a Christmas party, Cinnamon takes Rosemary and Takumi to a place where Rosemary’s Delicious Stone can be repaired, and Fennel visits Oishina Town.

The episode begins with the king and queen of the CooKingdom discussing all the weird things that have been happening lately, and trying to contact Fennel to ask him about his thoughts on the matter. However, Fennel is no where to be found, and some of the Gowasu bots are seen hovering about.

Secretor reports to Godatz about how they only need one more Recipeppi to activate the Recipe-Bon, and ask him if he has a particular preference for which Recipeppi they target for the last one. Godatz says he’ll think about it for a bit, and tells her there’s one more thing he wants in addition to the Recipeppi.

Yui and her parents are preparing for their Christmas party. With the remaining dishes needing some time to finish, Yui’s mother suggest that Yui and her father go for a walk together. Yui and her father go ice skating, when they spot Fennel, who went to Oishina Town to try and figure out where Ginger built the Hoka Hoka Hearts Accumulator. Yui and her dad invite him to join them for the Christmas party, and Fennel asks Yui’s dad if he happens to remember anything else about the time Ginger visited twenty years ago.

Meanwhile, Cinnamon brings Rosemary and Takumi to a cave which possesses strong natural energy that he used to charge up his own Delicious Stone in the human world. Inspecting Rosemary’s Delicious Stone, he realizes that someone may have sabotaged it, explaining how it broke so easily. They wonder about the possibility of a traitor within the CooKingdom. They eventually reach the spot where Cinnamon is able to fix Rosemary’s Delicious Stone.

Yui, her friends and their families have fun at the Christmas party, enjoying the various dishes. Todoroki eventually leaves to go pick up Kokone’s mother, who is coming home to spend New Years with her family. After confirming Ginger didn’t leave any messages, Fennel decides to head out too. As he’s leaving, he comments that he’s decided on the final dish.

Yui chases after him to give him some rice balls, but the rice balls vanish, with Secretor having just captured the rice ball Recipeppi. The Cures quickly track her down, and since Rosemary isn’t back yet, realize they’ll just have to fight her without the Delicious Field. Secretor creates a Gossori Ubauzo from a popcorn machine, with Fennel observing the fight between it and the Cures. Cure Precious recalls Rosemary’s fighting advice as she tries to get closer to the Ubauzo, but Secretor stops her.

Cure Precious questions why Secretor looks so miserable if she is close to getting what she wants, stating that there’s no way taking away things that others love could ever make her happy. Cure Precious manages to push Secretor away, and use the energy ropes Secretor tied her arms with to trip the Ubauzo, giving the Cures the chance to purify it. However, upon freeing the Recipeppi, Fennel suddenly grabs it. The Cures are confused, and suddenly Fennel attacks the Cures.

He’s about to finish them off, when Cinnamon, Rosemary and Black Pepper arrive. Secretor addresses Fennel as the leader of the Bundoru Gang, with Fennel then revealing that he is,in fact, Godatz.

Another good episode! Wow. I guess if somebody from the CooKingdom was going to turn out to be evil, I guess Fennel did make the most sense since he’s really the only major character we know of who it could be, but I still didn’t think it would actually be him. From the flashbacks, and the mention that Cinnamon was originally supposed to inherit the Delicious Stones that were given to Rosemary and Fennel, did Fennel frame Cinnamon for the Recipe-Bon theft out of jealousy? I’m not sure what his motives are, but I guess we’ll find out soon enough.

I’ll be looking forward to the next episode!

#pretty cure #delicious party precure

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verycharismaticdragon · 3 years ago

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on the addition of shixiongdi relation in SHL

A lot has been said on SHL’s addition of shixiong/shidi relationship between the main couple, probably because of it being one of the most obvious and plot-influential changes the adaptation made. The opinions on it range from overwhelmingly positive to upset and disappointed; so as a preface, I want to say that this small analysis is not me trying to tell you how to feel, but rather just organizing my own thoughts and feelings on the subject. Maybe some of my musings will resonate with you, maybe not – just treat this as an opinion piece. Disagreeing with meta is just as valuable a mode of digesting it as agreeing with it, after all!

So, here’s how my experience with the addition went: despite finishing the novel way before I got anywhere close to the reveal in the show, when I initially learned about the addition (from spoilers), I wasn’t at all upset about it – I understood, or thought I understood, where it was coming from. However, after finishing the show, I found myself discontented with it.

To figure out what exactly changed my mind, I’m going to organize my thoughts the following way: start with the positives, then continue into things I'm neutral on, and then see what is left for the negative category.

(continuing under cut)

The Good

So the thing I appreciate about the addition of shixiongdi relation, and the reason I was initially completely okay with the change, is of course the way it created plausible deniability that helped the show pass c/nsorship. It allowed SHL to portray an extremely intimate and tactile relationship – while not actually adding anything that would be a detriment to romantic reading. @/hunxi-guilai already wrote about it better than I ever could (second half of the post is about SHL specifically), so I’m not going into further detail. Just going to say that in this sense, the idea is quite brilliant.

Intermission

Before I go into the next section, I want to address a certain take going around the fandom: that SHL’s addition of shixiongdi relationship makes Wen Kexing’s decision to follow Zishu in the beginning more logical than it is in the novel, since in the show it is based on him recognizing their school's qinggong. Thing is, every iteration of this take I’ve seen operates on a wrong premise: taking novel Wen Kexing on his word that he is following Zishu because of his ~beautiful shoulderblades~. I have a post that goes into more detail, but in short: he isn't. He realized that Zhou Zishu is an expert martial artist, because Zhou Zishu had listened in on him and Gu Xiang across a busy street, and became suspicious. He thus followed Zishu to figure out his identity and whether he is participating in the hunt for Lapis Armor – in other words, whether or not Zhou Zishu is a threat to his revenge plan.

So both Wen Kexings have completely reasonable motives for following Zhou Zishu, while the flirting is initially just a cover. The only thing shixiongdi relation does in the show is provide a c/nsorship-passing explanation for Wen Kexing’s insistence that Zhou Zishu has to be good-looking: he is already almost sure that ‘Zhou Xu’ is his long-lost sect brother ‘Zhou Zishu’, and so knows more or less what he should look like under the mask. Again, works to help the show with plausible deniability, which is great! But on the whole, it isn't more logical than the novel's version – just different.

The Neutral

Human mind resists change, so sometimes we think something is bad just because it diverges from what we're used to. With this section, I want to make sure I'm not condemning perfectly sensible decisions just because they contradict the novel's setup.

To properly explain my thoughts on the matter, I need to step back from shixiongdi plotline for a moment and outline the bigger picture.

Aside from specific plot points and arcs, SHL made several changes to the source material on a structural level. I already wrote about the different ways in which the two approach the past, as well as the secondary plotline from the novel becoming the main plot of the show; there are also thematic differences (very shortly: the show does not engage with, and sometimes actively contradicts, several of the themes set up in the novel; it instead creates its own thematic framework, which also isn’t backwards compatible) and the shift in approach to genre (TYK subverts wuxia conventions while SHL pays homage to them). All of those changes work to create two very different stories; which one is “better” truly just comes down to personal preference.

I, for one, prefer the novel's choices; but there's a reason this section is titled 'neutral'. You see, after putting a finger on those structural changes, I realized they weren’t a deal-breaker for my enjoyment; while they were a bit confusing when watching, I have a rough guess on why they were made, and also probably wouldn’t be put out by them alone. In other words, I’m not into them, but I’m not against them either.

So, back to shixiongdi plotline: while it wouldn’t really fit with the novel’s structure, it very much does fit with the show’s.

Main characters having a past connection would make no sense in the novel, with its focus on freeing yourself from your past (by blood if you have to), but it becomes a centerpiece in the show, which focuses on rebuilding the past better. The show creates many connections that didn’t exist in the novel (to give some examples, in TYK, neither Wen Kexing’s parents nor Zhou Zishu’s shifu are part of Rong Xuan’s friend circle, Scorpion isn’t Zhao Jing’s adopted son, and Liu Qianqiao is not one of the Ghosts), which I think is due to both the new set of themes and the genre shift – and, again, WenZhou being sect brothers fits right in with that tangle of past debts and gratitudes and para-familial relations.

And, yes, this is very different from the novel – the line that describes the main family there is “sworn ties between the great houses were no more than lies and treachery, and yet, strangers who met by chance could survive by leaning on each other”, and Zhou Zishu, Wen Kexing, and Zhang Chengling are all indeed complete strangers to each other who were brought together by mere coincidence, – but the addition is internally consistent with the story the show was intent on telling.

In that way, shixiongdi thing is but a part of a bigger package; and since I’ve already determined the whole doesn’t bother me that much, logically the small part of it shouldn’t either.

But there’s still a certain element of shixiongdi dynamic in the show that I simply can’t make peace with – one that doesn't follow from those global changes. So we come to—

The Upsetting.

What sets this element apart from the fairly massive overhaul outlined in previous section is that, while both end up contradicting things set up by the novel, for this one I couldn’t find a single plausible reason – not one that’d hold up to a moment’s examination. Changes in adaptation are par the course – the shift between media types alone ensures the adaptation can’t be 1:1 – but if they aren’t made thoughtfully and with regard to source material, then is it still an adaptation? May as well change up all the names and make it an original… To be clear, I’m not saying SHL is that far away from its source material; this is just to explain why baseless changes grate in a way reasonable ones don’t.

The thing about setting up a shixiong-shidi relationship is that it inherently creates an order of seniority. One is an elder, the other is a junior, and that, in the setting-implied Confucian society, comes with specific – different – obligations on both sides. On this base level, it seems impossible to reconcile with the novel’s dynamic, which emphasizes WenZhou seeing each other as equals; but taking into account the genre in which the show operates... Fictional martial sibling pairs have been throwing wrenches into the supposed dynamic for ages, to the point that however you spin a shixiongdi story, someone’s probably done it before.

In other words, there’s no hard and fast rule saying that a shixiongdi pair has to consist of a responsible and caring senior and a troublemaker junior in need of guidance. So SHL’s decision to portray WenZhou as such isn’t necessitated by the addition of shixiongdi dynamic; sticking closer to the novel’s characterization and dynamic would make them only slightly less typical as a shixiongdi pair, but it wouldn’t even feel like a subversion or anything. And I don’t really see this portrayal as important to the show’s thematic framework either – not in any way that couldn’t be achieved just as fine without it. In fact, the only reason I can see for it is to facilitate the, well, whole mess that was the last four episodes.

But before I get into that, let me address something else: I do understand that it’s possible the senior-junior aspect of the dynamic seemed fairly minor to some, maybe most, viewers. The reason it feels glaringly obvious to me is because it goes against something directly established in the novel.

You see, while novel WenZhou are not sect-siblings, at a certain point there is a comparison made between Wen Kexing and Zhou Zishu’s shidi Jiuxiao. Except it is immediately shot down by Zhou Zishu: how could they be compared? Jiuxiao “was just a kid”, while Wen Kexing “knows what he needs to do”.

Novel Zhou Zishu sees Wen Kexing as his equal – an adult who can make his own decisions. After the final battle, Zhou Zishu even asks Wen Kexing whether he wants to be saved before treating his injuries – no matter how it’d hurt Zhou Zishu himself, to lose someone who made him want to live again, he is just that willing to respect Wen Kexing’s choice.

This respect towards one’s decisions, however, does not extend to his shidi: in Qi Ye, Zhou Zishu sends Liang Jiuxiao out of the soon-to-be besieged capital against his will. To him, Jiuxiao is a child he’s responsible for, and as an elder, he makes the decision for him – on assumption that he knows better.

In that way, SHL Zishu’s treatment of Wen Kexing is actually closer to how novel Zishu treats Jiuxiao: for example, SHL!Zishu’s decision to drug Wen Kexing to sleep while he goes off to die fighting Prince Jin's forces – despite knowing Wen Kexing would rather go with him, even if that meant death – prioritizes someone’s safety over their wishes in the exact same way sending Jiuxiao out of the capital did. And with the way the two relationships are contrasted in the novel, it really drives home that the show's dynamic is that of a senior and a junior rather than two equals.

But you may ask: doesn’t this mean that the shift in Zishu’s characterization is simply due to him ‘acting like a shixiong’ towards Wen Kexing? Isn’t this exactly the kind of reason that would justify the change? And, look, if Zhou Zishu’s behavior was the only thing that changed, I’d... probably still be a little miffed that he treats his romantic partner in a way that his novel counterpart categorizes as treating someone like a kid, but – I’d consider the choice understandable, if not one I’d personally make.

Except that still leaves changes in Wen Kexing’s portrayal, the impulsivity and lack of understanding of consequences and sometimes outright dumbness that have nothing to do with his novel counterpart. The only purpose those seem to serve is creating a dynamic of Zhou Zishu constantly having to ‘manage’ Wen Kexing and take responsibility for his actions – and don’t get me started on ‘guiding him back to the righteous path’, as I’ve said before, moral discrepancy between the two was also invented by SHL for no good reason, – casting Wen Kexing in a role of troublemaker junior.

Again, it is not as if such dynamic is inherent and immutable for shixiongdi relationship, and it runs counter to the way the relationship is established in the novel. The only reason I can see for forcing a senior-junior dynamic in this way is to set up the characterization groundwork for all the misunderstandings in the final episodes.

Wen Kexing hiding things from Zishu in a way that badly backfires, then later missing all signs of his distress, and finally sacrificing himself as a way to take responsibility for his actions but without bearing uncomfortable consequences such as having to own up for his mistakes – all of this could only work off the previously established ‘reckless, careless problem child’ portrayal.

On the other side, Zhou Zishu not assuming even for a moment that Wen Kexing knows what he’s doing during the standoff in episode 32, then hiding his shortened lifespan, then drugging Wen Kexing and going off to die on his own also would not make sense if Zhou Zishu considered Wen Kexing his equal and trusted him to make his own choices.

So, pushing the senior-junior angle helps to make the finale's characterization consistent with the rest of the show. But should it be counted as a good reason? Even among show-only fans, many were discontented with the last few episodes, to say nothing of us novel fans.

There are rumors going around that the whole mess in the finale was to create a c/nsorship-mandated bad ending; I don't know how true those might be. Wasn't there a less convoluted way to bad end the show though, one that didn't require turning the novel’s dynamic into something it explicitly wasn’t?

I mean, the simplest TYK-based BE I can think of would be to just cut to the credits before Zhou Zishu wakes up from his post-nail removal three-month coma. That’s it! If you wanna twist the knife, have Wen Kexing sit by the bed, desperately calling him and receiving no response; show that day after day is passing; you can even work in Wen Kexing’s hair turning white, implying he has greyed from worry and grief... Roll the credits without resolving it, and you get a perfectly gut-punching sad BE. Which also seamlessly transitions into the novel’s actual HE, and you can trust the novel-readers to let everyone else know that. And this is just me throwing out the first idea that came up; surely people who work within the system and know it better could find even more ways to pass the requirement without sacrificing characterization?

Considering everything outlined above, I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that forcing a senior-junior angle for SHL’s shixiongdi dynamic was completely unnecessary. And with the way it overwrote the dynamic the novel set up, of equals who respect each other’s choices… yeah, it’s no wonder something bothered me. It wasn't the addition of the shixiongdi relation itself; it was just this one aspect of characterization that was taken too far.

––––––

- TYK/SHL comparisons masterpost -

#tyk shl comparisons #word of honor meta #tian ya ke meta #word of honor #woh #shan he ling #shl #tian ya ke #tyk #faraway wanderers

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book-o-scams · 4 years ago

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'Sorry Wrong Ed' Alternate Ending Storyboard Sequence

Check out Al Kang's Ed, Edd n Eddy portfolio!

Al Kang worked on the show during seasons 3-4 and had roles on the storyboard and prop teams apparently. (IMDb says he was credited as Al Choi at the time, but it also says he worked on season 1 episodes, which doesn't line up with the timeline he mentioned.. anyway.)

I discovered his portfolio a few months ago after seeing fandom discussion of the alternate 'Sorry Wrong Ed' ending. I was pleasantly surprised to find a few other treats as well! But yes, I even sorta liked what I learned about 'Sorry Wrong Ed' in the process... (I threw in a little analysis comparing the two endings at the bottom)

I noticed Al seemed to mix up the order on these, so I thought I'd try my best to figure out the right order. This was the most confusing one for me to try and figure out the order of since almost all 8 pages were out of order. I think I finally figured out what's going on in the original ending.

So this alternate ending starts at an unknown point with Eddy flat on the ground, presumably injured, picking himself back up. At this point in the final cut of the episode, Eddy has just been squashed by a tree, but this seems more like a different injury, and he's not even retaining his injuries from the truck scene... The scenes with Jonny and Plank from the final cut of the episode seem to not exist at all here, Jonny and Plank don't appear in this sequence.

Anyway, Eddy picks himself up in the middle of an on-going scene, sees Jimmy drop a coin in a jar for Ed, who has inexplicably turned the cursed phone into a scam on his own. Edd is glaring at the off-screen kids, who have somehow learned about this phone and are excited to kill Eddy with it.

Eddy: "Jimmy! No!"

Jimmy answers the phone: "Hello?"

Ed: "HA HA HA"

Edd: "You people don't seriously believe--"

Then we sync up with gags that did happen in the ending of Sorry Wrong Ed, with context that makes its tone a little more sadistic than random. Jimmy's paid phonecall drops the sandbox on Eddy.

This page has the most skeletal dialogue...

Kev: "Yes." (I think he's meant to be fist pumping because Eddy got hurt, more of a "Yes!")

Jimmy: "BAD LUCK EDDY PHONE." (this dialogue must have been a placeholder)

Edd: "HA HA" (sarcastic ha-ha or did Al mean to write "Ed" for this?)

Jimmy seems to offer the phone to Edd.

We sync up again with Edd's denial from the final cut of this episode, except now it actually makes sense that he's so one-track-minded, because there are people actively arguing with him and keeping him disengaged from the victim.

Edd: "There must be a cargo plane overfilled with playground supplies..."

Sarah interrupts him.

RING RING

Sarah: "Oh, that's for me."

Eddy at this point holds Ed responsible, as he should, and starts running to stop Ed or Sarah. Ed offers no explanation for his betrayal.

Eddy: "Ed! What are you doing!?"

Sarah: "Hello?"

Sarah's paid phonecall summons the hippos, the most random moment in the final cut of the episode. Note how both of these slapstick gags were storyboarded on the same generic background, seems like the lane or an empty lot, but clearly a different location than Eddy's front yard from the aired ending.

And that's all we have to go off of!

I'll put my updated opinions below the cut, but suffice it to say, I like the episode a little better now! Knowing what the ending was going to be and trying to figure out the choices that led to the ending we got, I feel more appreciative that it didn't end up a lost episode or something and less annoyed that it was 11 minutes of one joke.

I know I have a reputation for not finding slapstick funny and disliking this episode, but violence was never my only issue. Lots of episodes have lackluster slapstick that I just let wash over me. My point that never gets as much focus is that this episode never felt FINISHED to begin with. It's just a slapstick vacuum with no ending and no point, and it used to be frustrating to me not knowing for sure if my hunch was right or not that it felt like the episode just wasn't working and they had to cobble it together from the scenes that almost worked.

I am surprised to say I like the episode more now that I know that is pretty close to the truth. Judging from this peek into the episode's development, this episode seems to have reached Danny Antonucci's and/or Wootie's (the episode's lead board artist) limit for being mean-spirited with the characters without a reason. I'll still probably avoid rewatching it, but knowing the episode has no ending specifically because it's been trimmed to bare bones is somehow reassuring.

The most obvious flaw to this original ending is the lack of motivation for Ed's or the kids' actions. The kids presumably still weren't in the rest of the episode, so there's really no reason for them to be here other than reiterating the same idea from 'Your Ed Here' and 'The Good Ole Ed' that the neighborhood kids are always looking for a reason to gang up on Eddy, something that isn't really true of those characters in earlier seasons.

I think I can imagine how, on paper (in the writers' outline), this episode sounded funnier. Trying to imagine this ending as part of the whole episode, I think the script's idea of the final joke is that Ed is not satisfied with ending the tests at the point where they tried to return the phone to Rolf. I think Ed converts the curse-testing process to a scam at that point, building off of how Ed already wasn't processing Eddy's safety in anything so far, and is probably more focused on proving to Edd that curses are real (as Ed was previously in league with Evil Tim). The addition of Ed running his own tests and the kids arguing Eddy's point against Edd's while Eddy's busy, does sound more like a complete manic cartoon boiling point than the way the finished episode just petered out with Edd as the sole antagonist. But unfortunately, in visual execution, suddenly piling in so many aggressive characters and so much random violence at once, would only really result in it petering out at a higher volume.

Meanwhile Edd's characterization is made much more structurally sound in the original ending. He's annoyed FOR Eddy's sake, and the only reason he's not actively helping Eddy is because like 3 other characters were supposed to be arguing with him while this was happening. It seems extremely apparent to me that the cuts made to this ending were for the sake of mitigating Ed's reputation in the fandom, as well as the kids', and I think it's really unfortunate that Edd's characterization was the cost for salvaging everyone else's. I'm glad I already considered his behavior in 'Sorry Wrong Ed' non-canon, because now it feels like the reason the aired ending is so out-of-character is just because Edd is basically arguing with the ghost of the original scene. I formally forgive 'Sorry Wrong Ed'. Production turnarounds are tough and AKA did their best to not turn this into another forgotten 'Special Ed' episode that simply wasn't working.

I think ditching the original ending was ultimately the right call. It was not an exemplary episode, but I can admit it's less out of place to have a pure "vacuum of violence" story than it would've been to essentially give the kids a supernatural revenge plot like this. That would've been really weird to have to accept-- Eddy definitely wouldn't want to be friends with anyone at the end of the movie if THIS was their past. Changing it to an unaware Jonny and a questionably aware Plank being responsible, indeed, was a vibe that landed much more like standard EEnE fare. It was weird enough that the kids all saw Santa in JJJ, can you imagine if they all knew curses were real AND participated in attacking a neighbor with one??

If there was a silver lining for me the first time I saw this episode, it was that none of the kids were directly involved in Eddy's suffering. It made the questionable reality of the cursed device slightly more acceptable that only the Eds and Rolf know about the curse. If this ending had happened, I would've reacted the same, but I would've rejected its continuity even more than I do now, because it would just feel like they animated one of the DC Comics (where the kids can blow the Eds up with fireworks at the end or the Eds can randomly be crushed under an avalanche of anvils)-- the art could end up gorgeous but the characterizations don't exactly land as real human beings, the balance this show strives for typically.

And I think that's all I wanted to say! In the end, I found myself liking 'Sorry Wrong Ed' slightly more than I used to, all thanks to this glimpse into how the animation production system morphs the outcome of a cartoon. Thanks so much to Al Kang, for sharing your art and this insight into the industry! I don't know whether he did both the gesture drawings and the revised art, but judging from his other boards I think the cleaned up art is his, and I liked seeing the poses that almost were!

#ed edd n eddy #sorry wrong ed #al kang #storyboard #concept art #alternate ending #deleted ending #alternate sequence #analysis

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let-the-dream-begin · 4 years ago

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In My Daughter’s Eyes Chapter 30: Family

Chapter 29

Read on AO3

November 27th

Jamie felt a flutter of excitement as he rang the doorbell to the Abernathy home. It was the Sunday after Thanksgiving, and neither doctor had had the day off on Thursday. Claire had mentioned they’d done exactly this last year. Claire had casually asked if Jamie wanted to make a pie or pick one up, and he’d stared at her, bewildered.

“Ehm...fer what?”

Claire eyed him as if he’d asked what color the sky was. “For Thanksgiving?”

“Oh! I...thought ye spent it wi’ Joe’s family...”

She blinked at him like he had two heads. “Yes. And you’re coming.”

And that was that.

This was a big step for them as a couple, as a potential family, and Jamie knew it. He knew better than to make a big deal out of it to Claire, but that simple assumption that of course he’d be celebrating with Claire’s adopted family had made him fit to burst with joy. The next day, Jamie had texted her:

speaking of holidays and families, how do you feel about spending christmas with mine?

She’d replied hours later, likely during her first break of the day:

I’d absolutely love to.

So they were there now. They were officially bringing each other “home for the holidays.” Well, Jamie’s family was coming here to avoid putting Faith through air travel, but still. If somebody had asked Jamie last Thanksgiving or last Christmas if he’d ever imagined this, with her, with them, he’d have told them they were crazy.

That morning, they’d gone to see Moana. The local movie theater did half-priced tickets before noon, and the movie had come out the day before Thanksgiving. Jamie had told Claire that he and his family always went to the cinema on Christmas Eve and Boxing Day; since the closest one to Lallybroch was an hour away, it was a special occasion. Claire had immediately lit up, declaring that they had to go on Thanksgiving. Rather, their makeshift Thanksgiving. Claire had never actually brought Faith to the movies before, but the place was empty aside from one other family, so it was perfect. She was in heaven. She was absolutely enthralled by the hugeness of the screen, the colors, the music. They’d sat near the front in the wider aisle where the railing was, meant for handicapped viewers, so Faith could run around or lean on the railing, dangling Horsie over the edge with her mouth agape. Claire had bought the album on iTunes on the way home, anticipating that Faith would want to play the music all day, and she’d been right. Jamie already knew almost every word to “How Far I’ll Go.” He wondered if it would hold up against “Let it Go” for Faith, but only time would tell.

A gust of November wind brought Jamie back to the moment, and the front door opened to reveal Joe, white teeth flashing against his dark skin in a radiant grin.

“Ah, there he is!” Joe enthusiastically clapped Jamie on the shoulder with one hand, and shook Jamie’s hand with the other. “It is so good to have you here, Jamie.”

“Hello to you too,” Claire said wryly.

“Come on, I see you all the time,” Joe said. At that moment, Faith slipped right out of Claire’s grip and bounded inside, humming loudly and flapping her hands wildly.

Claire rolled her eyes at both Faith’s escape and Joe. Jamie watched with amusement as Gail appeared at the end of the hallway and exclaimed in surprise as Faith barreled into her.

“Sweet Jesus!”

Joe ushered Jamie, Claire, and Angus, leash held by Claire, into the house.

“Well it’s nice to see you, crazy bean!” Gail said, laughing, and Faith disappeared into the living room. “Dee-Dee! They’re here, and Faith is looking for you!”

Jamie handed off the pie (that he’d made from scratch, of course) to Gail, and insisted on helping her finish with the hors d'oeuvres and the drinks. Faith darted about, in and out of the rooms, until the pitter-patter of little feet coming down the stairs had her running back into the hallway. By the time all the adults were settled with finger foods and drinks, Delia and Faith were already in the corner of the room, engaged with dolls and a little house. Even Faith’s Horsie was involved in the game, of course.

“They did this last year too,” Claire said as they sat down on the couch. “We got here and Dee-Dee had a whole spread. It was adorable.”

“She does it every time she knows she’s coming over,” Gail said.

“Aye, I remember her at Faith’s party; she’s a sweet one,” Jamie said fondly.

“Thanks,” Gail said.

“And that one got so big!” Claire exclaimed, looking at Lenny, sat in his own corner with a tablet. “Last Thanksgiving he still looked like a baby.”

“Four years old, you believe that?” Joe said, shaking his head.

“Oh, I believe it,” Claire said, eyeing Faith. “They grow too fast.”

“Oh my gosh, Claire, I never even asked.” Gail said, putting down her drink. “Faith started school!”

“Yeah, she did.”

“You were scared shitless,” Gail dropped her voice to a low whisper.

Claire chuckled. “Yes, I certainly was.”

Jamie put his hand lightly on Claire’s knee, and she took it, seemingly without thinking about it. They laced their fingers together with practiced ease, and Jamie squeezed.

“You mentioned at work the first day went okay,” Joe said. “How’s she been since then?”

“Really good, actually,” Claire said. Jamie could feel the warmth of glowing pride radiating from her. “She stopped having any bathroom problems, finally, and she hasn’t had to call home or either of us at work in a while. Which is good, because it’s hard when I’m at the hospital or if Jamie’s with a client...but I think we’re finally past that.”

“That’s great,” Gail said.

“I can tell she still doesn’t really love it. It’s a bit of a fight to get her on the bus after a weekend or a break. Monday should be really fun,” she rolled her eyes, “but she’s doing it. She’s getting her stickers when she earns them and prizes and after school treats.”

“Claire is doing all the right things,” Jamie cut in. “It’s hard to motivate her sometimes, but as long as she’s on the bus in the morning, then we’ve done all we can do.”

“Right,” Gail said.

“Remember after Labor Day when she would not get on, no matter what I did?”

“Aye, I do. I had to leave the stables to try to get her on myself.”

“I couldn’t believe the driver waited that long.” Claire covered her face and shook her head at the memory. “If that never happens again, it’ll be too soon.”

The adults shared a quiet laugh.

“I see she’s got a communication device now?” Joe said, gesturing to the tablet resting next to Faith. “The school provides that?”

“Yeah,” Claire said. “She’s been getting more and more comfortable with it lately. She still signs for her basic needs, and Mummy, but she loves being able to say ‘Angus,’ and all your names, and Gillian’s name, and Jamie’s. I don’t want her to lose the signing, but this is a great additional tool.”

“Yeah, of course,” Gail said. “I saw that video on Facebook that you posted, when she first figured out the ‘Mummy’ button.”

“Oh, yeah,” Claire smiled fondly at the memory, and so did Jamie. When it had first clicked for Faith that there was a word on her device for every sign, she could not get enough of saying “Mummy,” calling out to her beloved mother in a brand new way. “She did the same thing to Jamie the next time we saw him.”

“Over and over,” Jamie confirmed. “It was sweet.”

“Until the third hour,” Claire said, and Jamie could tell she was only half-kidding. He didn’t blame her at all.

Jamie was about to ask about how Delia was doing in school, how pre-k was for Lenny, when Joe spoke again.

“How are you guys?” He raised both of his eyebrows coyly. “I mean, it seems like it’s...going really well. Yeah?”

Jamie watched a blush creep up Claire’s neck and touch her cheeks with color. She flashed her eyes at Jamie, who felt warmth spreading from head to toe.

“We’re great,” Jamie answered, looking into Claire’s eyes and raising her fingers to his lips. “Really great.”

——

December 17th

As Claire approached the door to Jamie’s apartment, shopping bag and leash in one hand, Faith’s hand in the other, she heard a loud shriek from the other side of the door. Faith let go of Claire’s hand to clamp her hands over her ears, and Claire’s stomach dropped.

Off to a great start.

Claire was nervous beyond all reason to meet Jamie’s family. They’d gotten off the plane from Scotland two days ago, wanting to give themselves plenty of time before the holidays, and wanting to meet Claire and Faith at least once before then. Jamie decided on a little pizza party at his place.

Claire begged and pleaded with Faith to calm down, but she would not move until presented with her headphones. Claire sighed in defeat and put them on her. She knew deep down that Jamie’s family would bear no judgement on her in the slightest, but she really hadn’t wanted their first impression of her and her daughter to be flustered mother of an irritable daughter.

The door opened while Claire was still kneeling on the ground, and she looked up in a panic, relief washing over her to see that it was only Jamie.

“Sorry about that,” he said sheepishly. “Wee Jamie is a bit of an imp.”

Claire stood up, laughing nervously. “Oh, hi, sorry.” She tried taking Faith’s hand again, but Faith recoiled, reaching up to Jamie instead. Claire rolled her eyes upward, and Jamie grinned.

“Aye, alright, let’s get ye in out of the cold.” He obliged Faith, lifting her up and settling her on his hip, leading the way into the apartment. Faith rubbed her cheek against Jamie’s, delighting in the stubble, and Claire peered around Jamie to see the face that she’d come to be so familiar with but had never actually seen in person. Jenny was sitting on the couch feeding star-shaped puffs to a toddler, and the just as familiar Ian was holding a little boy over his shoulder.

“Everyone,” Jamie announced. “This is Claire. And this is Faith.”

Jenny launched herself off the couch and handed the baby off to Ian, who expertly handled holding both children at once.

“It’s great to finally meet ye, Claire,” Jenny said, throwing her arms around her in a bone crushing hug.

Claire started in surprise at first, but then returned the embrace. Her embrace was warm, soft and solid all at once, much like Jamie. She was wearing an oversized cream sweater, similar to Claire’s own white cable-knit turtleneck. “Hi, I’m so glad to finally meet you, too.”

“I’m Jenny, as ye probably guessed,” she went on, pulling away from the embrace, but keeping a hand on one of Claire’s shoulders. “That’s my husband, Ian.”

“Hallo,” Ian gestured with his chin in greeting. “This heathen is Wee Jamie,” he turned around to show Claire his face, given that his feet were previously facing her, “and this is Maggie.” He turned back around.

“Great to meet you, all three of you,” Claire said, laughing.

Just then, Claire noticed the man that had appeared in the doorway to the kitchen, smiling down at her. Everything about him was warmth, strength, and comfort.

“Claire,” he said, his voice deep and laced with the deepest affection.

“Hi,” Claire said sheepishly, her smile hurting her cheeks. “It’s an honor to meet you, Mister Fraser. Jamie speaks so highly of you.”

“Och, I’ll no’ have ye calling me that. Ye’ll call me Brian, Da, whatever ye’re comfortable with.” He stepped in toward her and pulled her in for a hug that was somehow tighter than Jenny’s. “Ye’re family, lass.”

Claire squeezed him back, this man she had just met, and tears pinpricked her eyes.

My family.

Brian pulled away and gripped her shoulders, looking into her face. “Christ, my heart’s full to see ye.”

“Let her breathe, Da,” Jenny chided. “Here, let me take this. And give yer coats to Ian.” Jenny took the paper bag of crisps and cookies in Claire’s hand like this was her own home and disappeared with it into the kitchen.

Ian put little Jamie down and pointed a threatening finger at him, and the boy grinned impishly as his father took Claire’s coat, then Faith’s, from Jamie.

“Hi!” he burst to Claire. “Are ye my Auntie now?”

“Oh, I…”

“Jamie…”

“Oi, why d’ye no’ play wi’ the Wii, lad,” Jamie cut in. The boy bounced with excitement, planting his bottom on the coffee table right in front of the tellie. “Quietly, now,” Jamie warned, setting up a game for him with Faith in his arms all the while. She refused to be put down.

“That’s her, then? Wee Faith?” Brian watched as Jamie shifted her to his other hip after finishing setting up Jamie’s game.

“Yes, that’s my girl,” Claire answered, pride warming her chest.

“Beautiful,” Brian breathed, beaming at her as Jamie approached his father. “Yer spitting image.”

“Thank you,” Claire said. She stroked Faith’s cheek, who was still rubbing her face and arms against Jamie’s stubbled jaw.

Brian hummed in amusement. “Willie used to do that to me,” he said. “It’s comforting to them.”

“Yes, I suppose it is.” Claire’s eyes flicked nervously to Jamie, but he seemed alright. Perhaps they spoke fondly of Jamie’s brother often. She’d have to get used to that.

Jenny flitted back in from the kitchen and chided her brother for letting her son play with brain-rotting video games, but Jamie just rolled his eyes and sat down, Angus settling at his feet at attention for Faith.

“I didn’t even know you had a Wii,” Claire said, sitting down beside him.

“Aye, well,” he winked, “how else would I kick yer arse in Mario Kart?”

Claire snorted quietly and fought the urge to swat at his arm in front of his family. Ian sat down next to Jamie with Maggie, Brian sat on the leather recliner in the corner, and Jenny sat on the edge of the coffee table facing the couch.

“So! This is the wee lass I’ve heard so much about?” Jenny beamed at Faith.

“Aye, she canna hear ye just now wi’ these on; wee Jamie gave her a fright.”

“Och, I’m so sorry,” Jenny said. “I did try to explain to him — ”

“No, it’s okay. He's so young.”

“Aye, and a menace to society already.” Jenny rolled her eyes, and Claire chuckled. “I’m just grateful he didna make a run fer the dog. He retained that from our talk at least.”

She was obviously referring to the fact that when Angus was working, he could not be pet. Claire did catch a few longing glances at the animal from the little boy, but he was being very good.

After a few minutes, with Angus’s help, Jamie managed to coax Faith into taking the headphones off.

“There you go, good girl,” Claire praised. “She’d never take them off without Jamie here. He’s absolutely wonderful with her.”

“Aye, and she’s quite taken wi’ him as well,” Jenny said smiling at the way Faith was nuzzled into his neck.

“We’ve a…special bond,” Jamie said, his eyes twinkling. “Aye, princess?” He bounced her on his knee, and she giggled.

“Look, lass, this is Jenny,” Jamie said. “Can ye say hi?”

She buried her face further.

“She’s very shy,” Claire explained. “Strangers are a little tricky. But I promise the more she’s with you, the better it gets. Even Jamie was a scary stranger at some point. Right, lovie?”

Jenny and Ian laughed softly.

“I really appreciate you all coming here,” Claire said. “It can’t be easy traveling with little ones.”

“Och, ’twas nae bother,” Ian said. “Glad to do it.”

“We hardly ever get to see Jamie’s place anyway,” Jenny added. “We’ve only been to the Island…what, once or twice before?” Ian nodded in confirmation. “It’s nice to see the life he’s made here. And the stables are just great.”

“Aye, we’re very proud of the work Jamie does,” Brian cut in, the pride oozing out of his every feature.

“You should be. He’s…he’s got a special touch with those kids,” Claire said, unable to stop the heart eyes she knew she was giving Jamie. “He changes lives. I know he changed Faith’s, and mine for that matter. Even before, well…this.” She blushed, realizing she was rambling. Jamie reached for her hand and gave it a squeeze, likely sensing her embarrassment.

“Aye, well it’s good ye ken how lucky ye are,” Jenny said. “Ye’ll no’ find a better man than my brother.”

“Christ, Janet…” It was Jamie’s turn to turn scarlet.

“I’m being nice, Jamie! I could go on instead about how difficult ye are to live with…”

“Claire doesna need a speech about treating me right,” he said. “She’s doing just fine.”

“That wasna what I meant.”

But given the look that Ian shot her, that was indeed what she’d meant. Though a little uncomfortable, Claire did not blame her. Jamie was her little brother after all, and Claire knew by now how deeply he felt things, how sensitive he was. Somebody cruel could tear him to pieces.

“It’s okay,” Claire cut in. “I know what you meant.” She squeezed Jamie’s hand.

“Aye, good. Well, it’s no’ as if it doesna go both ways. When Jamie sent me yer Facebook profile, I gave him an earful about how damned lucky he was,” Jenny said, and Claire bit her lip to stifle a grin.

“Janet…”

“What! Ye’re embarrassed? I couldna very well meet her. No shame in sending me something to get to know her by!”

If Jamie could have melted into the couch, Claire was sure he would have.

“Jamie went on and on about ye last Christmas, ye and the lass both,” Jenny explained. Claire’s heart fluttered to think that his family knew about her all the way back then, when she was still so far in denial she couldn’t see past her own nose. “So I was bloody curious what was so special about ye. Didna take long to see it, I’ll say that.” She smiled fondly at Claire, her eyes twinkling.

“Well…thank you. I think.”

“What Jenny is trying to say,” Ian cut in. “Is that we’re glad ye’re here, and we’re grateful to ye fer the joy ye bring our brother. Both of ye.”

“Aye, cheers to that.” Brian lifted his whisky from where he sat and took a sip.

“You know,” Claire said. “I heard all about this little one after the holidays last year.” She looked around Jamie and Faith at Maggie. “Jamie showed me pictures of her. She’s just adorable. I mean, both of your children are beautiful, of course.”

“D’ye want to hold her?” Ian offered.

Claire’s heart fluttered. “Could I?”

“Aye, of course.”

They both scooted forward for the exchange.

“Have to pish anyway.”

Jamie clapped Ian on the shoulder as he got up to leave, and Claire sighed loudly as the small weight settled in her lap.

“Well, hello!” she cooed, smiling enormously at Maggie’s sweet face. “Aren’t you the cutest little thing.” She bounced the baby in her lap, and she smiled lazily at her before breaking into the sweetest little giggles. Claire laughed in response, her head light and dizzy from the euphoria of holding a baby.

“Oh…I haven’t held one this small since Faith,” she sighed. “She’s just so sweet. Such a perfectly behaved baby.”

“Aye, she’s night and day wi’ that one.” Jenny nodded behind her to Jamie, engrossed in the game on the tellie.

Maggie gave another squealing giggle, and Faith abruptly sat up for the first time since burrowing into Jamie’s side.

“Ye look bonny wi’ a bairn, Sassenach.”

Claire looked up from Maggie to see Jamie boring smoldering diamonds into her, and she felt herself turn to a puddle. She’d be lying if she said she’d never thought about having another baby, and she’d also be lying if she said the thought of having one with Jamie hadn’t immediately crossed her mind the second she laid eyes on Maggie’s darling face.

They maintained eye contact for a long moment, and then Faith reached forward and grabbed the baby’s face, and Claire gasped, pulling Maggie into her.

“Gentle, Faith,” Jamie said quickly, as gently as he could muster. “The baby is very wee, and very sensitive. Ye must be gentle.”

“Gentle like with Pippi,” Claire added.

Faith bit her lip and sat up again, and then she gently stroked her fingers down the line of Maggie’s nose. Claire and Jamie both burst out laughing, and Faith hummed loudly, jiggling her hands and bouncing in Jamie’s lap.

“Pippi’s her horse?” Jenny said, chuckling herself.

“Aye!” Jamie said through his laughter, and then Jenny and Brian were also laughing out loud.

“What’d I miss?” Ian returned from the bathroom and sat back down on the couch.

“Faith started petting Maggie like her horse because we told her to be gentle,” Jamie explained, laughter finally subsiding. “Good girl, Faith,” he said.

“Come here, baby,” Claire summoned her closer. Faith clambered onto Jamie’s other leg. “You don’t have to pet her nose. Look.” Claire stroked Maggie’s head, then rubbed her back, all while bouncing her. “See? Gentle.”

Faith hummed loudly again, bouncing and jiggling.

“Calm down, lass,” Jamie crooned. “Ye canna play wi’ the bairn if ye canna be calm.”

Faith managed to stop one of her hands from flapping as she gingerly patted Maggie’s little head. Maggie turned to look at her, and Faith squealed.

“Yes, good job,” Claire said.

“Oh, how sweet,” Jenny said. “Ye’re a sweet girl, Faith.”

Faith did not turn at the sound of her name, but Claire beamed at Jenny. “She loves babies,” Claire said. “One of the moms brought her baby to the stables one day, and I had to hold Faith back from throwing herself in the stroller.”

Jenny chuckled. “She’ll make a braw big sister, then.”

“Janet,” Jamie warned, but Jenny just put her hands up in surrender, and Claire’s cheeks flushed red.

Faith gave another loud hum, and then she scrambled off of Jamie’s lap. She pattered over to the bag Claire had left by the door that contained both of her tablets and some emergency snacks that Claire had packed. She reached in for the school-provided tablet and walked back to the couch, standing in front of Claire and Maggie. She clicked around for a bit, and then she pressed the word she wanted to say.

“Play.”

Claire broke into a stupid, beaming grin. “You want to play with Maggie?”

Faith jumped up and down, letting out a squeal that gave way to a hum. “Play.”

“You’re so smart, good girl, sweetheart,” Claire praised. She looked to Jenny, who motioned for Claire to follow her. Claire set Maggie down on the floor as Jenny set out some toys she had brought.

“Play.”

“Yes, darling, we hear you, one moment please.”

Before long, Jenny had shown Faith all of Maggie’s toys, and Maggie was chewing on one while Faith became engrossed with the little baby piano toy. Jenny sat beside Maggie and Claire beside Faith, each making sure that Faith remained gentle and calm. They conversed over the children and across the room to the men. Claire learned how Jenny and Ian had gotten together, learned about the antics of all three of them growing up together, and at one point, she had tears leaking out of her eyes from laughing so hard at a story Brian told about the lads and the pigsty.

Faith would occasionally take Maggie’s hand and make her press buttons on various toys, some more gentle than others, but Maggie did not seem to mind. Little Jamie only got too loud on his video game one time, and one stern word from his mother was enough to assure it did not happen again.

The pizza delivery arrived, and there was a flurry of motion to get everyone into the kitchen. Parents all made sure that little ones’ hands were clean, and plates and cups were set out. Claire watched in awe as Jamie pulled a pizza plate out of his cabinet.

“Where on Earth did this come from?”

“I bought one,” Jamie said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “If the lass is gonnae eat pizza in my home she’ll have a pizza plate.”

Claire didn’t have the heart to tell him that Faith was not picky about what she ate off of if she wasn’t home, so she let Jamie hand the plate to Faith, both of their faces glowing with joy. Jamie turned around to grab the juice from the fridge and Claire went to help him, and by the time they both turned around, Brian was cutting Faith’s pizza on the plate, and Claire stopped in her tracks to stare.

“Ye’re family, lass.”

Jamie noticed, and he looked back and forth between his father and Claire, his eyes twinkling. He hugged her around the shoulders with one arm and kissed her temple.

“They’re as crazy about her as I am.”

Jamie crossed the rest of the way to the table, and Claire wiped her eyes quickly before following.

“I like her pizza plate,” wee Jamie announced, crossing his arms.

“Well, it’s Faith’s pizza plate,” Ian said firmly. “Ye’ll eat off yer own plate, and ye’ll like it.”

“Why do I no’ get one?”

“Because ye dinna have all the worries and troubles in yer heid that Faith has. The pizza plate helps her feel better. Now eat.”

The table was crowded, not meant for nearly as many people as were there, folding chairs squished between the wooden ones, but they made it work. Maggie was passed between laps so that her parents could eat, and everyone took turns handing her tiny pieces of saucy, non-cheesy, soft pizza to chew on. The conversation passed easily as they talked more about Jamie’s childhood; they even asked about Claire’s. She had plenty to tell about her adventures with her uncle, stories that she loved sharing with anybody who would listen.

Once the pizza was gone, Faith disappeared into the living room and returned with one of the DVDs that Claire had packed. Jamie helped her get it set up, and then little Jamie and Faith were sitting on the couch, watching Lilo and Stitch, and Ian was putting Maggie to sleep in the stroller that they were leaving in Jamie’s room.

The adults stayed at the kitchen table with drinks, and Claire held Jamie’s hand under the table, his other hand stroking her knee and thigh absently. Conversation with this family was easy and familiar, as if she’d known them her whole life. She did not feel like an outsider as she’d predicted she might. The feeling of belonging enveloped her like a warm hug. Then she’d remember Jenny helping Faith play with Maggie, Brian cutting her pizza, Ian explaining to little Jamie why Faith was different, and she would well up with tears.

Family gatherings in England made Claire sick with anxiety and made Faith utterly miserable, which just made everything worse. The Christmas before Frank left, when Faith was three, Claire had cried herself to sleep with his parents’ sneers burned into her subconscious. But this…

This was acceptance, understanding, welcoming, joy, warmth, comfort.

This was family.

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