#and I don't think it shouldn't be in Destiel fic I just think it's kind of not always a great way to be introduced to the ship

[crackers4jenn]

@wanderingcas posted this wip challenge for people who need motivation to finish theirs, with a "encouraging anyone else" tagging system, so I'm joining with the beginning snippet of a sequel to an older fic of mine, like only a best friend could, which was a post-high school destiel au. I couldn't leave the ending so bittersweet, so I've been tinkering away at a "10 years later" happily ever after.

You Can't Go Home Again is shoved, a little too aptly, between the windshield and dashboard, a paperback copy that's showing its age and wear in the form of a wrinkled cover and rippling pages.

As the price on the gas pump climbs higher and higher, Cas sighs, letting his head fall back against the driver's side headrest, wondering, not for the first time, what he's doing here exactly. 28 is maybe too young to have a midlife crisis, but that's what it feels like.

The insomnia, the nerves he can't shake, the unmovable and constant dread that's settled inside of him like a tiny intruder drove stakes into Cas’s chest and set up camp—okay, maybe that's not a midlife crisis, maybe that's just anxiety. That's what Balthazar would tell him, anyway, and then he'd offer Cas a tantalizing concoction of pharmaceuticals to 'help' rid Cas of these 'ails.' Cas has taken him up on this only once, when they were newly getting to know one another through mutual friends. The ensuing trip could only be described as a hellish existential nightmare that Cas would like to never repeat.

Still. As he sits now, with his heart racing enough he can feel the pulse of it in his throat, he thinks he wouldn't mind an opportunity to dull the edge.

Going back home shouldn't be this hard. And, yet, he's struggling.

Maybe because there's nothing left of Sioux Falls for Cas to even call 'home.' Naomi—his mother—she passed away three years ago, the last time he returned. His aunt had arranged everything, so all Cas needed to do was attend the funeral service, watching as well-intentioned strangers described a loving, caring woman he himself never knew. The version he grew up with was strict and stern and unwavering in her faith, instilling in him a righteousness and fear of religious disloyalty he still sometimes finds himself defaulting to. In her way, she loved Cas, but it was exactly that—in her way, and only that. Finding out she had raised a man with a sexual preference her Bible group would accuse 'deviant'? It regularly tested the conditions of his mother's supposed unconditional love.

Besides, last time he was home, he was forced to confront more than just his familial trauma. There was also Dean.

"Heya, mopey," Gabe calls through the rolled down window of the passenger seat, cutting through Cas's thoughts like a lifted veil. "Perk up, yeesh. People are gonna think I'm trafficking you."

Cas sighs, "Gabriel," weary for a whole different reason now as Gabriel waggles his eyebrows and disappears from view to disconnect the nozzle. The hose is clicked back into place before Gabe reappears, obnoxiously pleased with himself.

"I'mma go take a whiz and grab a Kickstart. Want anything?"

"Coffee would be nice. Thank you.”

"Diabetic amounts of sugar?"

"You know I don't like—”

"I'm kidding. Black and bitter like your dead mom's soul?" he says instead, giving Cas a grin. Cas can't even argue against that—one, because it's kind of true, but also because Gabe's already spun off and strolling towards the gas station. He can hear his loud whistling as he goes.

Cas thunks his head against the seat again.

Maybe he won't make it to Sioux Falls after all. Maybe he'll Thelma-and-Louise them off the side of a road instead.

tagging, just in case there's something on the ol' hard drive: @cockymclaughlin @glamrockcas @dollsome-does-tumblr @milkshakemicrowave @pringlesaremydivision

[swiftiefirefighters]

I don't think anyone would disagree that fandom dynamics have changed thanks to social media giving fans direct access to the creators, but I think that's different to people caring if their ship is canon/endgame or not.

i think it's less *caring* and more feeling entitled to it or expecting it. i think a lot of shipping, in my own opinion and *experience*, was always previously more about the fandom part of it - you found some people who loved your characters and you shared stories and wrote fics and had silly little headcanons.

now there's this real entitlement that because a ship is popular that means that it should happen. that's a fairly new attitude, like i said, IN MY EXPERIENCE. i've been in fandom for a long time. i remember shipping angel/cordelia and buffy/spike back in the day and i don't really think anyone thought either of them would be canon until they were. spike and buffy was literally kind of a crack ship and then it happened in season 6 and i remember fandom being like OH MY GOD all over the place because we legitimately didn't even think they'd go there. it was a bit different for angel/cordelia since that was more of a destiel situation where they never *really* got together because cordelia got fucked over as a character, but i don't think anyone expected it to ever be real.

certainly you had your buffy/angel v buffy/spike people but there wer also buffy/xander people and all sorts fighting over who she should be with (and then no one won! it was great!) but it was very very different.

again, i can only speak from my own experience here, and my opinion is just that there's way too much emphasis on what is and isn't canon when it comes to having fun in fandom. i more or less have found that when the ships i like become canon, i actually end up being really disappointed in how canon *does* them, so i have more fun playing in my sandbox when i'm just playing with characters that aren't together - once they're together i find you're more bound by what canon gives you and that's a lot less fun. and i think a ship doesn't need to be canon for you to love it. that's not to say you shouldn't want your ship to be canon, obviously you can't really help what you like and enjoy.

i just think the emphasis on it and the vitriol and in-fighting and personal attacks it tends to cause and the way people can't leave creatives involved in the shows alone because of the need for their opinions and headcanons to be validated is ....too much.

[rescue-ram]

Had a thought on "dark fic" discourse

Like, I feel like "dark fic" gets used as short hand for either taboo fetishes or personal vent fics, both of which have their camps defending their right to exist literarily.

Do you know what kind of dark fic has no shooters? "Processing real life tragedies". Like, I'm thinking of the universal roasting the Destiel fic set in the midst of the Haitian hurricane, or how controversial fics that are like "Blorbos experience the AIDS epidemic" are.

I think that kind of dark fic- processing a real life tragedy by imagining stories within it- really shouldn't be as maligned as it is, although I get why it pisses people off. It can come off as unempathetic to the real people affected by the real tragedy- "Oh real XYZians aren't sympathetic enough, you have to imagine your little guys to care?" But I don't think it's any worse than the other two types of dark fic I mentioned, and I think they're all forms of traumatic play.

Traumatic play is a behavior seen in kids who are attempting to process something terrible that happened to them. I'm thinking of a case study I read back in the day- a little girl had been kidnapped, but was returned to her family essentially unharmed. She insisted it wasn't that big a deal. But she'd been driven in a car for hours and hours, and months after the trauma would compulsively play "Barbie goes on a road trip", where she would put her dolls in their car and circle them around the room over and over again. She hadn't been allowed out to use the toilet and been forced to soil herself then sit in the mess- and when she finally tired of driving her dolls she'd take them to the bathroom sink and compulsively wash them till their paint wore off and their hair fell out. The unusual and rigid play was her way of trying to take this terrifying situation she couldn't really understand and trying to make it small enough she could play through it over and over until she understood it.

Teenagers and adults don't usually play with dolls, but they do make art and write stories. If a sheltered teenager reads about a famine or genocide or disaster and is disturbed and writes a fic of "What if my Blorbo was there" they are trying to take the thing they don't understand and combine it with something they do understand and running through the scenario to process it. Like, is it immature and unsophisticated and tactless? Quite possibly. But are they anymore so than a mentally ill teen who writes about their Blorbo struggling with anorexia and self-harm, or the abuse victim imagining their Blorbo being victimized, or even someone exploring their sexuality by kinkifying their Blorbo? No, I don't think so!

Let's be real- I'm not going to say "all dark kink/vent fic is bad" but a lot of it is not good. So many kink fics have the barest resemblance to canon and just exist to give familiar faces to whatever fetishes the author is exploring. "Woobification" literally exists as a term to describe the process by which a character's traits are smushed and warped to make them a more sympathetic victim. Other darkfic is wildly gleefully out of character as Character A enacts all the darkest violent vengeful fantasies the author can think of. These kinds of fics aren't defended because they're better than "disaster dark fic" but they are more gratifying.

There's a sadomasochistic twinge to a lot of vent fic, either in a literally sexually titillating way, or in smushing the parts of our brain that smirk with schadenfreude or tear up in empathy. It is very obvious what psychological needs the author is gratifying, so a reader will either share in that reaction, or- even if they don't share it and even if they're judgy about it- at least understand why someone would write that kind of story. Coming across a fic set in a real world tragedy, it is not immediately what the author is getting out of this, so I think that knee jerk offended reaction of "Why on earth would you write fic set in the Holocaust???" or what have you is much more frequently expressed, and it's harder for the author to explain why because they probably don't know themselves- they probably just heard about it and their brain came up with an idea while they tried to understand it and they felt compelled to write it down.

But like, to answer the question of "who would write this"- a lot of people do! There are a lot of novels of varying accuracy tact and quality set in every conceivable war, disaster, or tragedy imaginable. And treating that kind of fic as uniquely cringe or offensive is I think limiting to authors developing the skills to tell those stories in a non-awful way.

Again this isn't to be wholly uncritical of "disaster dark fic" because I do think there's real criticism that a lot of those fics unintentionally trivialize real tragedies or center white western males over the real victims for example. But do they trivialize tragedy in a way that's unique from how other forms of dark fic can potentially trivialize rape, abuse, or mental illness, or reflect societal biases? I don't think so.

[elizabethrobertajones]

I totally agree with your opinion on Gabriel! I loved the character in canon because he was so over the top and evil in a really self serving way; but the way he gets treated in fanon has really soured my opinion of him.

I’m putting this in a separate ask just in case it stirs up too much fandom drama, but I find Sabriel especially off-putting. The amount of Sabriel in the fandom has really affected the way I feel about Gabriel.

I’m not too worried about drama so I don’t mind replying to both :D 

I don’t think Gabriel was *evil* per say but because he starts as the Trickster it’s clear he’s got a really different set of morality. I actually do see him as somewhat chaotic good but gone off the rails a bit, because the way he’s introduced to us he is punishing bad people, just really OTT with a disproportionate sense of judgement (and I’d put him in the “good” not “neutral” box BECAUSE he’s making these judgements about people according to a sense of morality). The only person he doesn’t kill is the frat boy who he’d obviously scar for life and basically if you collect up characters on the show who are rapists it’s RIGHT there in our introductory episode to him (plus the skeezy illusionary women he hangs out with/makes porn with :P). It does show us immediately how little concern archangels really have for humans once you look back on it with hindsight, even if of all of them Gabriel was the one on “our” side and had clearly assimilated and grown to love the parts of Earth that he interacted with and enjoyed (which was mostly terrible media and sweet food etc). They had to reconcile the Trickster into his character and I think he’s extremely well-characterised but it really fits to know he’s an angel and raining down disproportionate divine judgement. 

I mean I always like that about him but yeah. He definitely gets watered down into a jokey character rather than a dark one (which to me is the main reason to enjoy him - because he’s so dark) to be shippable… I mean I’m sure there’s dark Sabriel fic out there but every time I’ve bumped into it it’s been in the context of a side pairing to Destiel so for one thing Sam’s not the focus and then for another Gabriel’s just a fun side character, and plays the same role even if he’s not shipped with Sam, just teasing Dean and Cas or getting them together, being the annoying and sometimes manipulative but ultimately right big brother to Cas - which DOES fit his pattern but not his overall behaviour when you get to the deep dark depths of it. He REALLY torments them every time he meets them. Since I’m not really into reading dark Sam fic on its own and I think that’s a fairly common Destiel fandom approach to Sam in really broad strokes, I think we mostly see the fanon Gabriel depictions which make it reaaally hard to understand >.>

When I was new in fandom I read a really interesting Sabriel fic which is the one time I’ve ever read one through and thoroughly enjoyed it… it was out of curiosity and idk how I found it recced but clearly it must have had some sort of rec to convince you to read it regardless of your preconceptions, and it was really interesting, about a younger Sam hitchhiking and getting picked up by Gabriel, and they have a sort of road trip and there’s a ton of angst and some tension and an optional get together chapter at the end… I suppose it’s a classic in that fandom or else criminally underrated (and if anyone knows what it is I’ll happily signal boost it :P). It was a great AU using their characters well without making Gabriel cute, but the AU circumstances made it work and also the complete lack of history between them that I think in canonverse I’ve only ever stumbled on fics where Gabriel is just hanging around alive and bothering the Winchesters with nothing better to do, and either he and Sam are already background dating or he’s apparently worn Sam down enough that they end up background dating without any major focus to it, and I always skim these parts anyway but… Eh. 

I would need to read the mother of all canonverse Sabriel fics to reconcile everything Gabriel put him through and so on, and at least from the Destiel fics POV it’s not something that gets handled in the stories I’ve stumbled over, so I would rather Sam just gets shipped with the characters who haven’t caused him disproportionate hellish torture :P I would need a similar “just read this, trust the author,” kind of rec to ever read a canonverse one, especially since I just feel *bad* reading sad Sam stuff because he gets put through so much already and he is not a character whose angst I wallow in, unlike Cas and Dean >.> 

I think the problem is that for some of us our first expose to the ship is through being a side bit to Destiel fics, which reaaally doesn’t sell it well when it’s like bam here’s fanon Gabriel and he’s with Sam, and that’s that, whereas if you kind of set out to ship it you’d probably find the good fics and be interested in reading any darker stuff all the time and actually get a taste for it, but it’s not a good advert in the Destiel fics… I don’t have anything AGAINST fanon Gabriel but it’s really a separate character to me :P Specifically, Metatron’s version of him in 9x18, which is such a headache that he came back behaving just off enough to clearly be influenced by the fanon… I think it works in that episode but it does take a few more steps to lay out all the stuff like well yeah he’s behaving like this because Metatron is writing him and they’re all in a story together and he’s OOC because it’s a really meta commentary on Gabriel and Metatron as a writer misunderstanding him and blah blah blah. Which my 9x18 tag has loads in :P 

But yeah I joined fandom AFTER 9x18 (because of it) so I didn’t really know about fanon Gabriel at all so it was only something I retroactively realised later once I saw how often he played a friendly support character because he was fan beloved and people writing him didn’t always bring him in to torment the main characters, but to be friends with them. I’m very much on the team that he should stay dead because his arc is done, and I think if they brought him back he would reeeally dangerously fall into the same trap of Lucifer being written one way, coming back as Hallucifer, who was characterised specifically to torment Sam, and then coming back for real and still being written like Hallucifer to some extent… I pretty much have to headcanon the theory that it was Lucifer’s grace in Sam (per 9x11 and the way Gadreel’s was left behind but way more malignant), and that retroactively the hallucinations were behaving like Lucifer kind of would have because they were more sentient than Sam tormenting himself… But bleh, leg work. :P I can make most things in the show make sense to me but I’d rather not have to. I’m always glad when an episode comes out which has the patch notes for my headcanons :D

[autisticandroids]

also another thing that bugs me. i really don't like fics that are primarily focused on non-destiel dean ships which portrayed those relationships as inherently temporary because dean and cas belong together. like i don't really read deanbenny but the deanbenny i have read is often like, benny knows that cas is the one dean truly loves and benny himself is just a stop along the way and like. no! shitty! dumb! especially when there's this vibe of sort of beneficent bestowal. like, benny will love dean for now and then relinquish him to cas when the time comes because he knows that they belong together and he shouldn't keep them apart.

like i don't mind if the relationship falls apart, ends in tragedy, but like. make it their tragedy. have them fall apart because of dean's various issues, or benny's, or both. or even have them fall apart because of cas. but treat them falling apart because of cas like what it is: a kind of emotional cheating the benny can't put up with anymore. none of this "i the author think that dean and cas belong together, therefore all of the characters agree with me" bullshit. like have them be endgame, or have them fall apart on their own terms. if i wanted destiel fic i'd be reading destiel fic.

and like i've been using benny/deanbenny as an example, but this happens with other ships all the time. i was actually motivated to write this post by a deanvictor fic, which i found particularly egregious, because like, with benny this dynamic makes sense. i don't like it, but it's possible to read into the text as it is because of the dynamic in purgatory of cas being the one dean is searching for and benny just being a guy he picked up along the way. and like the fact that dean and cas have years of history before benny comes into the picture. like that's canon. but dean didn't even know cas when he met henriksen. doing this with a deanvictor fic is like so...... ugh.

anyway.

[fellshish]

I don't really know what to think in terms of how people are discussing Jensen's interpretation of what happened at vancon. I kind of wish that I was naive in that I didn't really go into what he had said etc but it's kind of sad seeing people's takes saying that he probably doesn't ship deancas. In some ways I know this doesn't invalidate what I think and believe that I think Dean did in fact reciprocate (honestly I would love to see what happened if they did reunite and Dean was like nah I love you just like a friend, the tragedy though...Cas would probably not want to see Dean again and avoid him and also nothing would be the same. Even though I don't want to believe that Dean didn't reciprocate and thinks that Cas is just a friend I just would love to see what sort of thing would happen if that went that way, worse case scenario).

I think it's just what he said about the whole brother in arms etc which makes me think oh yeah Dean loves Cas in a platonic way or whatever. And I think the reason why I'm kind of saddened is because well, he played Dean. The thing is though, his take shouldn't define how we see destiel. I mean I know people think that he doesn't ship destiel, but then there are instances and how he acts onscreen as Dean where I'm like okay but why would he say that e.g. Dean has no taste at all, his reaction to fan art etc. Anyway only reason why people are making a big deal of it is because he played Dean and it's kinda like oh well if he meant it then it must be true etc (word of god etc).

sorry for the ramble, but I think I probably have to get off tumblr etc and probably go to bed or do something else.

Honestly all in all I normally just don't pay attention to conventions because it's like well the show's over and I'm just going to read and write fanfiction and that's that. But sometimes this tuff happens nad I'm like oh I have to see what happened.

I don’t have much to offer but i felt bad just leaving this in my inbox because you obviously care a great deal about this. I don’t know where jensen stands, only jensen knows. And you’re right that destiel is about fandom and our own interpretations. And you’re also right that it’s upsetting when he says stuff that appears to invalidate a bisexual reading for dean. All of these emotions can exist at the same time and you can just let them pass through you without having to choose a side or even have a definitive answer as to how he feels. Then you can go back to reading fic. I wish you well, anon.

[doctorprofessorsong]

Hi. Umm this must be a stupid and unsettling question but I'm just gonna put it out there.

So Im a destiel shipper and I love reading fics. ok so, all this while TFW had been fighting for freedom and wanted to write their own stories and defeated god n everything. and in mid way of reading in dean's POV it struck me all of a sudden that dean wouldn't want me to know these things going on his mind. ok if you say dean and cas are fictional characters technically speaking and they can't possibly give consent, thats fine ig. but obviously I'm so attached to these characters and maybe I want to believe they're real. especially given how spn is a huge example of how a character can take control of the story being told. and ok yes, I know we as a fandom want to see our beloved characters happy. but what gives me the right to get into dean's mind? I'm dean coded so I always choose fics with his POV but I all of a sudden felt like a perv. Isn't freedom and privacy (from chuck/audience) what dean and the rest of the team fought for?? and we just continue toying with them just cause we recover slightly from cw's bullshit? Idk how this thought came to me after all this time but I do feel guilty to have been reading fics. anyway, is it just me or is this kind of feeling common? I enjoy fics too much I don't want to feel like this

Nonny, you are going through it, huh? I don't know how common/uncommon it is but certainly, many people in this fandom find a lot of self-recognition in these characters and that can be uncomfortable. Sometimes in great ways (the amount of times I have realized something I needed to work through in therapy because of a fic is slightly embarrassing) and sometimes in bad ways.

They are absolutely fictional characters and you shouldn't feel guilty. We tell stories for so many reasons. To understand. To find hope. To believe we can change things. To imagine a different world. There is nothing bad about getting insight into how people think Dean would feel or think. And if it helps, I think frequently what you are actually getting in a fic is a part of the author that they are sharing voluntarily. Certainly, my most beloved writing is often based on my experiences. On telling a story that I think matters.

As a concrete example, I wanted to tell a story in The Birds and the Ts about rebuilding after trauma. A recognition that the trauma isn't what makes you and love isn't what heals you. You rebuild with the help of those that love you. You get to decide how to remake yourself. So a lot of those thoughts the characters have and the choices they make? They are me telling myself and the reader it's okay to feel that way. You aren't alone and there is hope.

They are fictional, but I get the existential crisis. I do. In second grade I lived in fear that I was a character in a book or a dream. And I was terrified I would simply disappear when it ended. That feeling? I can say that feeling is common enough that more than one person has told me they also went through it.

But if it helps, even if they were real in a pocket universe living out these stories, you wouldn't be Chuck by reading about them. Maybe we are all Becky? Or Marie? Certainly, reading a fic is not manipulating time and space. And EVEN if they were real, Dean doesn’t seem to think about the readers of the series in the show. He doesn't seem uncomfortable around Marie, for instance. So even if you can't shake the existential fear that they are somehow real, I don't think you have to worry that the hypothetical Dean made reality would even think about or care about fic.

I would also consider whether you might be feeling exposed, and whether that is contributing to this feeling. Like some things are hitting close to home. That is an uncomfortable feeling. If that is part of it, consider what I said above. If it makes you feel vulnerable because you identify strongly with it, there's a better than 0 chance that it's because the author either speaks from experience or has looked at this character, seen this thing that makes you feel vulnerable, and loved him for it. So try to take heart in that.

[a-small-teacat]

I think it's okay as long as you stay in the fandom space. Don't @ people you ship on twitter, don't show them fics/art at comiccon or whatever, but all that goes for EVERY shipping.

I, for one, used real person fanfics to deal with the person's death. He committed suicide. He was such a kind soul and suddenly he was gone. In fanfics he lives, he falls in love, he thrives, he overcomes depression and has a happy ending. The person writing it told me that's why she is writing those fics. To deal. To remember him as he was not the way he ended up. That's just one example of why someone might be reading and writing that kind of things.

As for negativity, some people need to get off their high horse. "Imagine being shipped with someone you know! Fanfics written about you and your friend having sex! "

Well, imagine someone wrote an OC based on you. She has your face, your body, everyone pictures you reading it. And they wrote you having kinky sex with another character. Feeling uncomfortable? Used? How do you think actors feel when you use their FACE their BODY to tell a story they didn't consent to?

How is drawing kinky art of Destiel any different from Cockles? Jensen Anckles is uncomfortable with BOTH. His face and body is on both. Half the time I can't tell which one the artist is going for. Does that mean now we are forbidden to ship two characters because the actor dislikes it? He doesn't want HIS body and face used on fanarts in this context.

What of TV shows? Are we allowed to ship those characters? The only difference is a name. That's it. In one you actually use the actor's name in the second you don't. Both times you use THEIR body while writing and doing art. Both times the actor has every right to feel uncomfortable and dislike it.

Both times you SHOULDN'T show it to the actors unless they explicitly ask. You shouldn't talk to them about it unless they ask. You shouldn't show them your ship art unless they ask.

But, I think keeping to AO3 is okay.

It is fandom space, actors shouldn't be going there anyway. Anyone who isn't okay with shipping X couple shouldn't be going to a tag with X couple. It is that simple.

It is the space for self - expression, wish-fullsilment and creative freedom.

You shouldn't expect, anon, that all people will like what you write or read. Real person fics existed since The Beatles, maybe even before that. It's nothing new and has a LOT of audience for. Those who like it will read it. Those who don't might be vocal about it but that's why there is a block option on tumblr and report option on ao3.

My advice is to block the hate (you don't owe anyone to listen to negativity) and look for people similar to you. Maybe join an Amino.

Keep to your fandom space and it should be fine. You are the one who moderates your fandom experience, remember that.

People get so upset that I ship real people. I love their real life partners and don’t go harassing them or the people I ship, I just like consuming and producing the content. Is that bad?

I’m not into real people shipping either, anon, but as long as you keep it to your AO3 account and off twitter (and out of the actors’ lives)? I don’t personally have any issue with it.

-Mod Pi

[elizabethrobertajones]

So now that Cas as basically confessed his love for Dean, what will Dean do? I don't think he'll do anything but if Cas really got his message across shouldn't Dean finally go for it and be with him?

I mean, knowing this show, probably not? I think it might make it really interesting to analyse how Dean treats Cas after this, because they’ve sort of made a vow of family now, but as I was saying elsewhere, Dean’s permanently got a more vested interest in Cas which has been shown all season that he still very much has his whole… cosmically huge love story with the angel… thing going on. We’ll probably have to wait and see on how Dean actually treats him but I wonder if it will be kind of nervous, in a way you could play off the awe of having Cas officially family, in a kind of platonic way where it just seems fragile and new to have actually put some emotional crap in words for once and have to live with a better understanding of that, and, well, Dean having to deal with Cas saying he loves them and having him in the family, when he has all those extra feelings for him. 

Kind of a weird place now that in fandom we’ve been tending towards writing Dean n Cas in established relationship with a greater intensity than ever before, to up this point, but now the confession has thrown everyone back to having to treat it like they only just got there. :P I suppose all the fics I’ve read so far anyway have been get-together fics. I’d almost like to see the established relationship ones where they’ve never really said it and Dean suddenly *realises* what he’s in for :P 

Anyway, more seriously, if you look at canon and all these blocks put in the way of Destiel, they’ve been demolishing them since season 10 (I think clarifying Jimmy was gone was Step One of what has been a dramatic and exponentially increasing process of removing these) but then again in canon we have Dean struggling to define Cas.

In 12x11 I’d look at Dean stumbling over “Cast-Cas is my best friend” as a sign of how he struggles to put a name to what he is - he already tried out “brother” earlier, and I think Sam suggested “best friend” and Dean tries that out for size but the emphasis on struggling to label what Cas is is fascinating because of how Dean stumbled. There was a theme a while back about the label being wrong so its interesting to wonder here about basically what post-it notes Sam metaphorically stuck on Dean’s relationships, since he had to do all the labelling for him.

Sticking with this idea version of canon where it all works out this way, Dean gets almost a double take at Cas’s clarification about who he loves - I think I saw a post suggesting Sam double-takes too. Whether Cas was making it clear he meant all of them because he didn’t want to leave someone out or because he thought it might sound like he only meant Dean, or he DID only mean Dean but then added in everyone… the way it looks to Dean, it seems like you could WONDER if he thought that Cas meant it as a confession, and the adjustment to mean family might be reassuring in a way, that Dean doesn’t have to deal with a love confession, but perhaps it will bother him like an ear worm, just wondering about that moment where it had seemed ambiguous if Cas confessed or not… And making him wonder if he’s got the label right for what they are.

(This is the highly speculative version of canon where we read it from Dean and Cas’s POV as if they’re definitely in love and is the transformative version of canon we own and I wanna add a disclaimer that this layer is the cause of SO much strife when the show doesn’t match up to it I feel I have to comment any time I wander too deep into discussing it :P)