#and I don’t think the extra time is really added on by writing stuff out since I type all my notes

[pinkplatiploo]

I feel like school kinda screwed with me that I need to take notes and annotate everything because most stuff I can’t directly annotate (esp not how they taught me to with different symbols meaning different things, a lot of things i at best get to color code with different highlighter colors which I have been told was an eyesore before lmao) but anyways now I have so much reading weekly that taking notes adds a lot of time to but I feel like I can’t retain any info without taking notes so now I’m kinda stuck lol

[thecharacterchronicler]

Snakebite || (Peacekeeper) Coriolanus Snow x Reader ||

Outline: Coriolanus has his eye on the new nurse of the caserne and he’d do anything to have her.

Word count: 5’593

Warnings: Peacekeeper Coryo is a warning in itself, blood, virgin/first time sex (and it’s not gentle), breeding/marking, pain, possessive behavior, rough sex, explicit smut.

Author’s note: If you’ve read my other stories, you know my way of writing peacekeeper Coryo is pretty wild. If not, please take the warnings seriously before reading this one. This is prompt # 4. (sorry I didn’t feel like writing another arranged marriage one for now but I hope this will be good enough.)

“Good to see you back on your feet !” Smiley said, as a greeting when Beanpole entered the cafeteria and joined them at their table.

“We were worried, you hit your head pretty badly on the ground when you fainted today.” Bug added.

Coriolanus watched as his comrade took place in front of him, his tray overly filled with an array of different foods. He was still pale and had a bruise on his forehead from where he had hit the ground but despite all that, he seemed happy. So happy in fact, that Coriolanus wondered if they had drugged him at the infirmary to put him in such a state.

“I’m honestly starting to wonder if you don’t do that on purpose each time we train outside, just so the new nurse gets to take care of you.”

“There’s a new nurse ?” Coriolanus inquired, his curiosity piqued by something finally remotely interesting.

“I think she’s an apprentice.” Beanpole corrected.

“Didn’t you notice the amount of guys lining up in front of the infirmary door these days ? I heard everyone talk about how beautiful that girl is.” Smiley added.

Coriolanus thought about it for a moment but couldn’t really recall noticing anything out of the ordinary. Not that he paid much attention to life in the barracks anyway. Or in District 12 in general. He missed the Capitol and his thoughts often drifted back to his old life rather than focusing on his current situation.

“She really is beautiful.” Beanpole commented, to answer Smiley, with a stupid smile on his face. He may as well have heart shaped eyes from how obvious his crush on the girl in question was.

The other soldiers at the table laughed of their friend’s amorous daze and everyone soon focused their attention back on their meal, knowing that they needed to gain some strength for what the commander had planned for them on the next day.

Smiley and Bug stood up as soon as their trays were empty, but Coriolanus lingered a moment at the table, watching Beanpole stuff his face with green beans and spinach leaves. He wondered how someone who lacked basic knowledge of table etiquette could be from the Capitol too. People there, even poor, were more refined and elegant usually. Was District 12 slowly turning him into some kind of feral animal ? What if it was happening to Coriolanus too ? What if he didn’t remember how to behave properly once he’ll be back in the Capitol ? The thought terrified him, the one thing he had promised himself was that he refused to let District 12 change him.

“Crap, I forgot to ask for painkillers.” Beanpole managed to say, despite his still full mouth.

“Didn’t you have a whole tablet of those in your trunk from the last time you hit your head against a tree ?” Coriolanus asked him, unable to conceal his sucpicious tone. He was wondering if, indeed, the young soldier was faking being of such fragile composure and in weak condition just to be granted extra trips to the nurse’s office. Not that he cared about his friend’s whereabouts, he just cared to know if Beanpole was this good of an actor, able to hurt himself just to get something he wanted.

“I used a few after I burned my fingers when I was on cooking duty and sold the rest on the black market.” He answered, totally and foolishly honest with Coriolanus. He attempted to stand up, his tray still half full but almost lost balance, barely able to catch himself.

“Are you alright ?” Coriolanus asked him, standing up to help steady him, even though he really didn’t want to.

“Yeah, it’s just the concussion.” Beanpole assured him. “I need to go back for some pills and then I’ll go to bed.”

“I’ll walk you there.” He offered, not out of the goodness of his heart but by sheer curiosity for the apparently very pleasant new nurse. He wanted to judge for himself, even though he didn’t expect her to be anything special, his comrades were so sex deprived that their standard barely reached the floor.

With a hand gripping his arm to help him walk steadily, the two peacekeepers made their way to the infirmary, Coriolanus almost dragging Beanpole behind him from how impatient he was to see what was really going on there.

At first glance, it seemed that Smiley told the truth, there were a line of more or less injured soldiers waiting for their turn behind the door, even skipping supper in hopes to be cared for here.

“It might take a while.” Beanpole sighed, ready to join the back of the line.

The door opened and a peacekeeper walked out with his arm in a cast, his face visibly upset but not because of the pain he had endured but because he was escorted out by Flavia, the old nurse instead of the new one. She gestured to the next man in line to enter her office and he shamelessly sighed in disappointment.

Beanpole and Coriolanus barely had time to take a step in direction of the end of the line when the door in front of them opened again, revealing you, wearing a white blouse and your hair tied up in a messy updo.

“Next please !” You called, and a soldier excitedly sauntered in your direction. But your gaze landed on Coriolanus for an instant, before noticing Beanpole leaning onto him for support. “Oh, is the concussion getting worse ?”

Coriolanus had to admit that you were very pretty indeed. Even with the worry that suddenly appeared on your face, you reminded him of the expensive dolls Tigris used to play dress up and hold tea parties for.

“I just need something for the pain.” Beanpole told you, trying to sound self assured but the sight of you made him smile stupidly again.

“He’s barely able to stand.” Coriolanus said because, as time went by, he kept leaning his weight more and more on him and at this point, he was starting to worry that he might have to carry him back to their dorm.

“Come in.” You said, standing aside to let them in the infirmary. There were a few whispers of indignation and protest as they passed by the line of eager soldiers, the one who almost got in taking his place back at the front while glaring daggers at them.

Coriolanus helped Beanpole to the bed placed in the middle of a small room, of which you closed the door and searched a shelf for a file, before stepping to the counter to retrieve some medical tools. He watched you as you carefully shone a light into Beanpole’s eyes, observing his pupils with attention before turning the small flashlight off and on in his face. You scribbled something in the file you had placed on the bed next to him, and exchanged the light for a stethoscope.

As you leaned forward slightly to reach his heart, your blouse hunched up, revealing some of the curves of your body to Coriolanus, who had a very privileged view of it all as he leaned against the wall behind you, his arms crossed over his chest.

He observed you carefully, starting to understand why all the young soldiers in the building were interested in you. There was something about you that was particularly enticing, maybe it was the alluring curves of your body, or maybe it was your pretty face and the way you made sure to be gentle as you examined your patients ? Whatever it was, he knew that he wouldn’t be able to forget it. And, as you turned around to take one more tool from the counter, you glanced at him in a way that made his whole body buzz with electricity, he could tell that you were disturbed by him, by his presence and by his appearance, the same hint of curiosity in your eyes than the one he felt for you.

————-

The sun was shining bright in the sky, yet it still did very little to ease the humidity that saturated the air. Coriolanus was assigned to patrol the borders of the District in the heat, while forced to wear his peacekeeper uniform and helmet, hand on his gun, always prepared. However, for once, it didn’t seem so bad. He knew that if he had a heatstroke and fainted, he might have the chance to see you again and the idea oddly excited him.

Actually, he had been thinking about you for most of the night, reminiscing of the perfection of your body underneath your white blouse and how you had looked at him, even smiled at him once when you had cleared Beanpole to go back to his dorm. He had seen with his own eyes the impressive amount of soldiers lining up by the door with the hope to spend a few minutes in your company and, this morning during breakfast, he had heard a group of them talking about how each of them was planning to attempt to ask you out before the weekend. You truly were the talk of the caserne.

He didn’t like that you had so many admirers, but what claim did he have on you ? He hadn’t even spoke more than a few words to you… And yet, he felt extremely possessive of you. Like you were some kind of precious treasure that should only belong to him. And maybe he had good chances to make everyone else jealous if he convinced you to give yourself to him, judging by the way you had looked at him, all he had to do was ask…

And, just for the sake of not waking up with a very painful and frustrating erection again - after dreaming of you, naked on your exam table for him - he was determined to shoot his shot at you. He knew it only was a matter of time until you’d agree to go out with one of the idiots who probably pestered you about it on a daily basis, so he had to act quickly.

He wasn’t sure of how he could fake a convincing heatstroke. And if he pretended to have fainted, he might stay there on his own all day until someone eventually found him and helped him. So he needed a better idea, something that wouldn’t require him too much theatrics to be convincing. In fact, being in real pain would probably help to coerce you into taking care of him before everyone else.

His fingers danced on the handle of his gun as he tried to imagine how bad the pain could get if he shot himself in the foot or in the knee. It would make him a pretty useless peacekeeper which might grant him a few weeks of forced vacation to recover but he was worried of where he might be sent to next if he wasn’t fit to be a soldier anymore…

He looked around him, seeing nothing but tall grass swaying in the wind and a rocky dirt road leading to a row of delabrated shacks that people from this District called homes. Not much to help with his plan.

Suddenly, something slowly undulating further down the road, moving the peebles on its way caught his attention. He approached carefully, realizing that it was a green snake trying to go back to the tall grass that it could use as shelter.

Coriolanus didn’t know much about snakes. Actually, his knowledge in the matter was so limited that he never would be able to tell the difference between a venomous snake and an inoffensive one. However, it seemed to him that this one was very similar to the one that had bit another peacekeeper’s ankle when they were running laps around the barracks. As far as he knew, the guy was still alive so it might be his best chance to get to see you again.

He kneeled down on the road and tugged the sleeve of his shirt up, offering his entire arm for the nervous snake to bite into. But it wasn’t aggressive enough to gratuitously attack a human being it seemed so Coriolanus picked the reptile up, feeling the cold scales under his fingertips before letting it fall on his bare arm. Nothing happened, except that the animal was now terrified and tried to slither away in the grass, at a surprisingly fast speed.

He barely managed to catch it before it vanished in the grass the same color as it was. He pulled it back to him and the reptile’s head snapped back to dig its sharp fangs inside the soldier’s exposed wrist.

Coriolanus grimaced, immediately pulling on the snake until he was able to pull his fangs out of his skin. He sent it flying across the road, not seeing where it landed as he focused his attention on his now aching wrist and the two dots of blood rapidly bubbling at the surface of his skin.

“Shit.” He breathed, the pain in his arm sharply stinging. It was almost as if he could feel the venom, slowly invading the blood in his veins.

He stood up, applying pressure to the bite so that he wouldn’t bleed too much despite the pain it provoked, and took off in direction of the casern. He was hoping that his plan would work and that he wouldn’t end up being treated by Flavia instead of you but, above all things, he hoped that he wouldn’t die from such a stupid action. You may be absolutely gorgeous but he wasn’t ready to die for that. Not yet.

When he knocked on the infirmary door, blatantly ignoring the queue in front of it, his main concern became reality as Flavia opened. The old nurse’s gaze was strict and unwelcoming, the polar opposite of your warmth and beauty.

“Another heatstroke ? Go wait in line for your turn.” She said, authoritatively.

“No, I was bitten.” He told her, showing her the mark on his now inflamed skin. Even if he was hoping to see you, his bite still needed urgent medical attention and he wasn’t sure he would survive if he had to wait in line before treating it.

Thankfully, as if on cue, your face appeared behind Flavia, eyes wide in surprise.

“I can take care of that, I just finished treating Armstrong���s heat rash.” You suggested and he could tell that you were hoping to see him as badly as he was hoping to see you.

“Alright. I was planning on taking a coffee break after this one, anyway.” Flavia nodded, before disappearing in her own office where a distressed soldier waited for her.

Coriolanus followed into the room where you had taken care of Beanpole the day before, but this time it was his turn to sit on the examination table. You repeated the same gestures as he had observed last time, fetching his file from the overflowing shelf before approaching to examinate his bite.

“Did you see what the snake that bit you looked like ?” You asked, as you ran your gloved fingers over the two deep holes in his skin. He noticed the worry that instantly showed on your face, making him wonder if you truly cared this much about your patients.

“It was green, and pretty small.” He recalled, momentarily forgetting about the pain in his arm because of how close you were to him. He could smell your perfume and see the subtle variations of the specks of color in your eyes from here.

“Mmh, I don’t think it’s a venomous one but it’s probably going to hurt for a few days.” You announced, going back to the counter to take a small glass jar in your hands. Then, you carefully applied an herbal salve to his wound, instantly giving him some relief from the stinging pain that lingered there. “But I only have one jar of this salve so you’ll have to come here so I can apply some to the wound and change the bandages every day.”

“Alright.” He answered, struggling to contain his excitement at your words.

You gently wrapped his wrist up in an immaculately white bandage, soothing the last bit of pain he still felt from the bite. He saw it as the perfect opportunity to ask you what every soldier in this building was dying to.

“I was wondering if you’d like to get a drink with me sometime ?” He suggested, trying to sound as confident as he usually was but his heart was racing in his chest.

You lifted your eyes up to meet his, a smile tugging at the corner of your lips.

“That sounds nice but unfortunately I’m not allowed to do that. The only time I can be seen with peacekeepers without risking my job is here, in the infirmary.” You replied and he silently stared at you for a moment, trying to determine if it was an excuse or if you really would have accepted if your position allowed you to. “But maybe you could spend more time here ? With me ?”

Your voice was hesitant and a lovely blush creeped to your cheeks as you said that, a risk you seemingly were ready to take for him.

“I could.” He smiled, charming as ever. “But how would we pass the time ?”

“Maybe we could get to know each other ?”

His smile grew wider as the vivid images of last night’s dream filled his mind again, visions of you naked for him, begging for his dick, that he was determined to make come true right now. He stood up, stepping closer to you, his hands already tugging at your blouse to get it to slide down your arms.

“I’d love to get to know you more… Intimately.” He whispered, his lips brushing over yours. And, since you didn’t step back or push him away, he finally pressed his mouth to yours, in a chaste kiss that still managed to get his whole body buzzing with adrenaline.

Your professional blouse dropped to the floor and his arms closed around your waist, pulling you into him, where you could very obviously feel the hard bulge that had formed in his pants pressing against your stomach.

His lips moved to your neck, peppering it with wet kisses as he eagerly tried to find the hem of your shirt so that he could pull it off of you and see what was hidden underneath. You let him, even though your heart was about to implode inside of your chest.

He only stopped kissing you to be able to take a good look at your now bare chest in front of him, the sight worth a thousand snake bites.

“Oh gosh.” You whimpered, as he roughly squeezed your boob in his hand, taking a bite at your lower lip to shut you up because you could say anything else.

He probably should have taken his time to enjoy every inch of you as he uncovered them one by one, giving attention to your very appetizing breast before attempting to remove your pants but he was never one to be patient, nor could he possibly renounce to something that he so ardently desired.

“Wait, wait.” You pleaded against his mouth, your hands on his chest to gently push him away but even like this, he had trouble to let go of you.

“What’s wrong ?”

“It’s just that… I wasn’t expecting this. I… I never did this before.” You stuttered, your eyes fixed to his with a bit of panic on your face.

“Well, it’s not that uncomfortable in here.” He remarked, briefly looking around before focusing his attention back to you. You were shorter than him and almost naked, chest bare and pants tugged down to your thighs. All he had to do was reach between your legs and he’d be able to catch a feel of your panties, see if you were already wet for him or if he’d have to work for it. As for him, he was already rock hard, his cock begging to be released out of his pants so that it could be shoved inside you. But he enjoyed being in his uniform in front of you, while you were about to be naked and vulnerable, at his entire mercy…

“No, I mean… I never did it” Your words had the effect of a cold shower over his head, pulling him out of his hungry contemplation of your body and getting his full attention on you. For the second time, he stared at you while trying to decide if he believed you or not, the idea of you still being a virgin making no sense in his mind, how could you be ? You were far too gorgeous to not have had many opportunities to lose your virginity to someone in the past, even here, soldiers lined up at your door every day, desperate for your attention. Surely one of them would have convinced you to do it by now. Or at least, if you were so concerned about the rules, some coal miner from your district or a free spirited muscician would have done it.

“You… How come ?” Was all he managed to say, the question burning his lips since it seemed entirely impossible to him that you’d still be so innocent and unaware of the pleasure you were missing out on.

“I don’t know.” You shrugged. “I guess I wasn’t interested enough in anyone to go this far…”

Coriolanus couldn’t help but smile at your answer. He felt insanely pleased imagining you refusing all these filthy miners and weak soldiers. You had standards. And you definitely were the only person that he had met in District 12 who was this reasonable.

“I can show you what it’s like if you want me to.” He suggested, trying to sound detached but the idea of being the one to take your virginity, the one to corrupt your innocent body, was making his cock ache in his pants.

You seemed hesitant, looking around at the office. He could understand that it probably wasn’t how you had imagined your first time would happen, not here, not with him. Yet, when your pretty eyes landed on him again, you quietly nodded.

He had to be cool about, appear as if it was a regular thing for him, like he had done it before many times and would be doing it again with other girls, but his blood was boiling with excitement. When he had asked you out for a drink, he was expecting to have to work for it. He would have been proud of being seen with you at The Hob by all the recruits lining up for your attention, and he would have made sure to charm you into taking things further, probably in a dark alley outside where no one would have seen your perfect body except for him, but where surely some people would have heard how good he was making you feel.

Unable to wait any longer, he reached down to open up his pants and free his hard erection from his underwear, stroking it in his hand, enough to get it to develop to its full length but not too much, in case he might cum just from the way you were staring at it, with wide eyes and shock on your face.

“You’re so big, I’m not sure I’ll be able to do this.” You told him, worried.

“I’m sure you’ll be able to take it.” He assured you, with a proud smile on his face. He always liked when women noticed how well endowed he was. Even better when it made them nervous. “Sit down on the table.”

You obeyed, even though you still seemed very uncertain. He pulled your pants and panties down your legs, discarding them on the floor so that you really were completely naked now, beautiful and vulnerable.

“Maybe it’ll work if you enter just the tip.” You suggested, and an amused chuckle left his lips.

“Alright.” He agreed, but only to reassure you. He had no intention of depriving the rest of his length from entering you so you would have to take it fully eventually.

“Okay.” You sighed in relief but your body remained tense as he approached and forced your legs open. He held his cock in his hand and gently stroked your exposed folds with the tip, groaning from the pleasant warmth and wetness that instantly coated his sensitive skin.

He knew he should have been a gentleman about this and made sure that you were ready for him but he simply couldn’t wait. His desire for you was consuming him, he needed to have you and that instantly made him forget how cautious he should be to make sure the experience would be enjoyable for you too. So he lined himself up to your entrance and pushed forward.

“Just the tip.” You reminded him, your entrance stretching out for his wide dick, causing a sharp burn in your lower stomach.

“Right.” He said, with a smile, as he kept increasing the pressure that already felt unbearable inside you, very slowly but surely pressing his hips further against you.

“That’s too much.” You cried out, tears welling in your eyes.

“You can take it.” He said again, because one way or another, he was going to break that dam inside you and then, he’ll fuck you until he’ll be close enough to mark you as his with his cum.

“No, I really can’t.” You replied, your voice breaking. Coriolanus felt a pang of guilt in front of your distress, the grimace of pain on your face and the tears silently rolling down your cheeks weren’t exactly what he had imagined when he had fantasized about taking you on this examination table.

“Just try to relax.” He instructed, momentarily putting his eagerness and need for relief aside to focus on you. He pressed his hand between your legs, his thumb finding your sensitive spot and gently massaging it to ease you into it, mixing the pain of his intrusion inside you with the pleasure of his caresses.

With two fingers, he opened up your folds so that he could see his big cock shoved halfway inside your tight and aching pussy. He could see it sliding further inside inch by inch, his way of teasing your clit seemingly helping your body accept him.

And then, suddenly and without any warning, your pussy engulfed him. You cried out once more, as something inside you was teared apart to allow him to finally be completely buried in your tight warmth. Your arms instantly closing around his neck for support. He almost came from this alone, the force with which you clenched around him from the pain you felt almost making him dizzy.

“What’s going on ?” You asked, panicking. “Why did that hurt so bad ?”

“Your pussy just swallowed my cock on its own accord. Because despite the pain, you want me to fuck you, right ?” You want to feel me inside you, want me to show you what real pleasure is.” He explained, breathless, doing his best to calm down before his ejaculation might end this all too soon. “Say it, tell me what you want.”

“I want to feel you…” You told him, wincing when he started pulling away.

“And ?”

“I want to have an orgasm. I want to be fucked until you have one too.”

“Fuck.” He groaned, realizing that his plan to calm himself down by getting you to talk to him was failing miserably. He almost entirely pulled his cock out of you, only to shove it back inside slowly. As eager as he was for relief, he now wanted you to enjoy it too.

The more he gently slided back and forth inside you, the more your face eased back into a peaceful expression, the pain visibly fading as he tried his best to replace it with pleasure.

“Look how well you’re taking me now.” He told you, and you both looked down to his impressive cock, his length coated in your arousal and faint traces of blood as it went back and forth at a peacefully steady rythym. As tight as your entrance was, he still fitted inside you, managing to hit deep.

“Am I bleeding ?”

“Yes, but that’s normal, that’s how we know you’re no longer a virgin.” He explained, even if you probably knew that already.

“Is it going to be like this every time ?”

“No, now that I broke you in, you’re going to enjoy it when someone fucks you like this. You’ll be able to take it fast and rough with a little bit of practice.”

“Is this how you like it ? Fast and rough ?” You asked him, curious.

“Most people do.”

“Will you help me get used to it then ?”

“I already am, sweetheart.” He replied, his hands gripping your thighs to bring them up against his hips and give him better access to you. His movements amplified as his rocked his hips more rapidly now and you pressed your forehead against his, still fascinated by the way you could see his hard cock disappearing inside your folds and slamming deep inside you.

You closed your eyes, feeling something powerful building inside of you. A loud sound that carried the whole intensity of the pleasure that he was giving you escaped your lips. Your eyes widened and you covered your mouth with your hand, embarassed.

“Don’t, I want to hear you.” He told you, moving your hand away and pinning your wrist to the table. “And I want everyone outside to hear you too. Let them know I’m the one taking your virginity.”

“But… Flavia.” You warned him, breathlessly.

“She said she was going to take a break, she’s probably at the cafeteria.” He replied, trying to reassure you but in reality, he had no idea of what the other nurse was up to. He knew that you were risking your career if you got caught by anyone in such a compromising position but it didn’t really matter to him, not now, because he was pretty sure that if anyone bursted inside the room in hopes to interrupted him, he’d still keep fucking you until you truly belonged to him. Now that he had started, nobody would be able to stop him.

You didn’t object. You couldn’t. He could tell from the way you arched your back and rolled your eyes that there wasn’t a single reasonable thought in your head anymore. You needed relief as badly as he needed it too and that was exactly what he intended to give you.

“Oh… It’s starting to feel really good.” You panted, your nails digging in his shoulder to steady yourself as his thrusts grew a bit more brutal.

“Good.” He groaned, making sure to slam himself as deeply as he could inside you. Damnit you felt too good, he wasn’t going to be able to restrain himself much longer, the tightness of your virgin pussy around him and the knowledge that he was the first one to ever penetrate you so deeply was too much and relief instantly washed over him as warm cum spilled from his cock into you.

Fuck.

“Oh !” You exclaimed in surprise, not because he had climaxed without giving you a warning but because his twitching cock unexpectedly pushed you over the edge too. You were shocked by the strength of the orgasm that hit you, imploding in your core like a firework and washing over your entire body, ensnaring him inside you in reaction.

You moaned again, the pressure around him caused by your own climax felt unbearable. He was trapped in you and the contractions of your body were so intense that he groaned and felt his cock shoot another load of his seed inside you.

A moment went by during which only the sound of your panting breaths filled the room. Then, you relaxed and he was able to pull himself out, both of you watching as his soaked length dropped out of you. He adjusted his uniform, making sure he was presentable again as you did the same, putting your white blouse back on as if nothing had happened.

“I… I’ll need to take care of that bite again tomorrow.” You told him, still a bit breathless as you walked him to the door.

“Then I’ll see you tomorrow.” He promised, with a grin.

Everyone stared at him as he walked out of the office. He smugly smiled at the line of soldiers and stood straighter, feeling extremely proud of himself. Not only had he managed to fuck the new nurse everyone was after but he had also taken your virginity and marked you as his. Of course, the soldiers waiting in line had no way of knowing that your blood was still on his cock and that his cum was probably dripping down in your panties by now but, if they were observant enough, they might notice how you were leaning against the door for support because your body was sore, or the trace of faint lipstick you had left on the collar of his peacekeeper uniform.

♡ - (( Tip Jar )) - ♡

[reallychaoticwoo]

Hi love✨

I don’t know if you have written this before but could you write a fic of how ot8 react to you being a virgin and specifically saving yourself just for them ??

⛓️ Heya! I'm not doing full fics atm but heres a quick drabble for ya!(: I hope you enjoy!⛓️

✨️ Worthy ✨️

❤️Pairing: Ateez x reader

⚠️Warnings: cussing, suggestiveness, fluff🖤

‼️This is purely for entertainment purposes and does not represent the idols in any way‼️

🖤Sorry i didnt go into too much detail, if youd like a smuttier version let me know! This is just the reaction not so much the "action" lol. Hope you enjoy and thank you for your support🖤

If you enjoyed this, you can find my full masterlist Here

"I just took that bdsm test I've been seeing going around, and it turns out I really am a brat!" Wooyoung said with a huge chuckle as he plopped himself down on the far end of the couch. "We could've told you that, Woo. You really didn't need to take a test." San ruffled the younger man's hair sporting a sly grin. Wooyoung just rolled his eyes and replied with a huff, "Well, it turns out I'm also a switch, which means I'm not always a brat, so HA!"

"You know I've been wanting to take that test myself." Hongjoong added into the conversation nonchalantly. "I'd be interested to know what it says about me as well." Seonghwa was the next to pipe in. It wasn't long before the entire group was talking about what they thought the others results of the test would be. Everyone wanted to take a guess before taking the actual test to see how close they all got.

Yup, this was your Friday night. Hanging out with the chaotic group of friends you acquired many years ago. You wondered how long they'd keep up this conversation. It's not like you were well versed on the topic. You knew some stuff, obviously, but you'd never actually done any of it, so you decided to just stay quiet. That is, until they noticed.

"What about you y/n? What do you think our results would be?" Mingi asked, looking at you with an adorably shy yet confident smile on his face. "Uh.. um.. I mean, Woo being a brat sounds right, I guess. I think San would probably be into whatever keeps brats from being bratty. Hongjoong seems like he would be sweet, I suppose. Hwa could be mean or sweet.. um.. Yeo.. idk about Yeo.." Before you could finish, Yunho sat down beside you and gave you the most puzzled look.

"Do you not - Do you not know anything about bdsm?" He cocked his head to the side like a puppy trying to figure out what a new sound was. "Uhm.. no.. not really. Is that a bad thing?" Looking down, fiddling with you thumbs, you felt Yunho lean back against the couch, a soft giggle escaping his lips. "No, not really a bad thing. Just surprised. You didn't strike me as a vanilla." You shot him a questioning look. "It means lame in bed." Wooyoung butted in unable to contain his laughter at your 'lameness'.

Hwa was the next to move spots sitting down on the other side of you. "So what do you know then?" You thought to yourself for a moment, trying to decide if now was the time you'd be telling them you were still a virgin. You'd managed to keep it under wraps this long, but all things must come to an end eventually. "I mean, I know how sex works, obviously. I know some people like it more rough than others and all that. I just don't know all the extra stuff, considering I've never tried anything." The look on all of their faces was utter confusion, and maybe a bit of shock.

San leaned forward, turning his head to face you, "What do you mean you've never tried anything? Like just crazy stuff or like actually anything?" There was no stopping the racing in your chest right now, nor the blush that was prominent on your cheeks. "I mean anything aside from like figuring or handjobs." Why did you just tell them that they didn't need to know. Of course, they were your best friends, so it's not like this is an abnormal conversation for the group.

"Are you.. have you.." Yeosang started to ask. "Yes, I'm still a virgin." You sighed. You were sure your face was so red right now it could be a neon sign. You felt like you were gonna puke, or maybe cry, or you weren't even sure, but you were so beyond embarrassed right now. "AWWWWW little baby y/n has never had any dick??" If looks could kill Wooyoung would be dead in his spot with the look you just shot him.

Finally joining, Jongho, of course, had to be the one to ask, "Is there like a reason? Are you saving yourself for marriage, or is it religious? We've known you for years, and you never striked me as someone who'd put a lot of importance on the matter." Of course, they all already knew you weren't really religious, but that didn't mean you didn't have your reasons.

"I have been saving myself but not for like religious reasons or anything." You knew what was coming next. You were shaking in your spot, praying the two men next to you couldn't feel the fact you were basically having a personal earthquake next to them. Hongjoon was quick with the follow-up. "So what are you saving yourself for exactly?" You felt like he just knew your answer. Something about the look in his eyes said he'd caught on to why you hadn't let anyone else have you. You knew that was unrealistic, but you also knew this man caught onto everything. There was no hiding it anymore.

"If I tell you, but you have to promise not to laugh at me, or freak out, or just anything. Okay?" They all nodded, a few okays, some hums. "Okay, here goes nothing, I guess.. I've been saving myself for you.. all of you.. I know that's kind of stupid, considering we're all just friends, but I guess since I'm already telling you guys my secrets tonight, you should know I like you as more than friends too." If you could shrink into yourself at that moment, you would. You hid your face behind your hands, praying they'd just let that be that, and you could all pretend it never happened. Of course you weren't that lucky.

Feeling two sets of arms wrapping around you, you forced yourself to peek out from behind your hands. The whole room was the most silent they all have ever been. Their faces a mix of shock and some other emotion you couldn't quite figure out. "I-I can't tell you how happy we are to hear that." Seonghwa all but whispered as he held onto you tighter. Yunho nodded into you back, agreeing with his arms around you as well.

"Do you know how long we've been holding in our feelings for you, y/n?" Hongjoong asked, his eyes a little glassy. All you could manage was to shake your head in response. "We've been wanting you for years.. We just never said anything because we were worried that having eight men tell you they want you in every way possible would have you running for the hills." You laughed. You laughed loudly and uncontrollably at his statement. The look of confusion and hurt on his face had you trying to reply quickly through your laughter. "Any normal sane girl, yeah, probably would run for the hills. But I've been in love with every single one of you for years now, and to be honest, I couldn't imagine a life without all of you in it."

Wooyoung stood up and made his way behind the couch to where you were sitting. He leaned forward to wrap his arms around your shoulders, pulling you back into him. "Well, luckily for everyone we all won't have to be without each other ever again. Now, with that being said, I'd love to go first and teach you a thing or two. I promise I'll be nice." With a cheeky wink and a Cheshire grin, he leaned forward to lay a sultry kiss to your jaw before nibbling at your ear.

[nicodrawings]

More spider stuff. I did the band one very abruptly but I like it. Last two drawings are older.

Update: added one more picture to end this group. It’s another older one. Some b-boys (and one girl).

Update 2: Now that I have some coffee in my system I can actually write more stuff about my AU. Read below if you’re interested.

-In my AU Hobie does not have spider powers, he never got bitten. He created a movement using the Spider-Man costume as a symbol and a disguise from the police. He doesn’t need powers to fight against injustice. The other spiders find out about him and he becomes a honorary spider cuz they appreciate his work and they think it’s super cool. Also like what more punk than fighting with no powers? Anyway that’s why is patrols are more sporadic, Peter does it on purpose cuz he doesn’t have powers and doesn’t want him getting severely injured. He’s the only spider on foot. Also he’s a parkour kid.

-The other spiders involved are Jessica, Julia and Anya.

-Valerie (the OG spiderwoman) is also in the story but she’s retired from her role and lives in upstate New York. She comes by though to visit. Her and the older spiders are like siblings (she would be like the oldest sibling). The older spiders call her Val and the younger spiders call her Ms. V.

-Everyone loves Valerie. She’s great honestly.

-Judge is also in the story but he’s next door to Ganke and Miles’s room instead of rooming with them.

-Peter and MJ have a daughter.

-Ganke’s mother knows that Miles is Spider-Man. She finds out before his parents by accident.

-Billie has High-functioning autism.

-Don’t know if I made this obvious or not but like…many of the spiders are not straight. Not all of them but like…many of them.

-The younger spiders have to be extra careful with injuries. Especially when it comes to school. One time Miles wasn’t careful and teachers started getting very concerned and it almost turned into a…big situation.

-Ganke and Venom become buddies.

-Ganke’s grandparents on his mom’s side passed away when he was a kid. Ganke doesn’t have a close relationship with his grandparents on his dad’s side but he is pretty close with his Uncle on his dad’s side. His mom was an only child.

-Ganke’s mom gets really sick at one point and his Uncle helps out a lot during this time.

-Miles is a terrible liar due to his anxiety. Ganke is the smooth talker out of the both of them. Miles tries to smooth talk and…it just doesn’t go well.

-Whenever the go past the music store for Ganke the owner lets Miles fuck around on the drums in the music room. But the rule is that a) if you break it you buy it and b) if a customer comes in and wants to see the drum set he has to get off. Same for Ganke and the keyboards.

[carigm]

MAJOR POTENTIAL SPOILERS/LEAKS REGARDING S5 (WARNING)

Last Spring/Summer, a semi popular fandom account on Twitter got sent some leaks about S5, focused on the first half of the season. At this time, many fandom accounts were receiving supposed leaks, so our attention was a bit scattered and we didn’t focus on any of them too much. A popular leak account on Twitter (unrelated to ST) also mentioned that they had gotten the first half of S5 leaked, and that this source is “never wrong”. Now, it is hard to tell if these leaks are the same as the ones that the specific fandom account I’m talking about received, but something to keep in mind. Her leaks were given to her by a person named James (which I assume is a fake name). These leaks were also posted on Reddit, last year, by her (the person in the fandom that got the leaks from James) but some major things were omitted in that post. I’m gonna leave a link here in case you guys want to read the discussion.

I’m sharing these leaks with you because some things from them are kinda lining up with what we’re seeing from S5 production. Keep in mind that these could be fake/wrong, and James himself said he didn’t have info on the last couple of scripts.

According to James, Mike dies in Ep. 3. I’m adding more screenshots later for more context, but the gist of these leaks is that Mike bites it, mlvn never breakup nor do they get a resolution, and Byler is left up to interpretation but never really happens. (I don’t really need to get into how shitty this all is writing wise)

Let’s go over the things these leaks might have potentially gotten right, according to what we know so far.

1. James said that the time jump would occur in ep. 1, after an establishing scene where S4 left off. He said the time jump would place us in late 1987/early 1988. He also mentioned there would be a series of flashbacks showcasing stuff from before the time jump. The dates he gave do seem to be accurate, and David Harbour had a shaved head right before they went into filming, which could imply pre time jump scenes.

2. According to him, after Mike dies, they find a letter he had been writing. Some of us were theorizing Finn had a letter in his back pocket in those rooftop pics. Could’ve also been Finn’s script and he just stuck it there (who knows).

3. He said that Joyce gets badly injured in ep.3, and since there’s speculation Winona was seen filming at the hospital, some people think that means she was taken there because of her injury. It’s important to notice that Natalia, Cara, and Finn were also supposedly seen filming at the hospital, and that the production called for many extras for nurses and paramedics. So whatever they’re filming at the hospital, it might be bigger than Joyce getting injured in her leg. Let’s remember Max is at the hospital too. I’m not 100% sold on this part of the leaks.

4. Today it was revealed that they’re setting up to film at Stone Mountain. (This is where they filmed UD scenes for S4)

Apparently production might have purple tentacles out already. (UD vines?)

Cara Buono mentioned, in that video shared by Ross Duffer, that she was filming stuff from Ep.2. This was around 2 days ago.

The people that know about the leaks think this is where Mike dies in ep. 3. Here’s some further context:

Here’s some stuff he said about mlvn:

Which is just….meh, because like I said, it doesn’t look like him and El ever breakup before his supposed death. Plus Byler never gets any resolution.

Now some things that might disprove the leaks (I’m trying to be impartial here)

1. These leaks mentioned Argyle a couple of times, saying he has a hero moment at some point. Eduardo made it sound like he’s not coming back to the show, but tbh he could just be lying. He’s listed for ep.2 on IMDb (and yes I know anyone with an account can edit that site)

2. These leaks say that Mike is very insufferable for the 3 episodes he’s alive, basically lashing out at everyone, specially El, and just overall behaving like an asshole. I really didn’t get that from the ElMike rooftop scene, in fact he seemed very gentle with her. People that know about these leaks think that the rooftop scene is Mike maybe apologizing to El and them having a heart to heart, right before he dies (no comment).

All in all, if Mike is dying this early, I’m sure we’ll know soon enough. The rest of the cast is gonna be filming for like a year, and Finn will be done in like two weeks 💀

I also hope there’s more leaks soon (on Reddit) so that we might compare them to these and see wtf is up.

I know someone is gonna inevitably ask why leaks would be out almost a whole year before they started filming when we usually get them during filming or post production, but I’ve been told these leaks happened around the time the writer’s strike began, which is when they were originally gonna start filming. I was also told other shows had issues with leaks around that same time.

I don’t want to get too much into the truly awful writing we’re facing if these are real but…First, I believe it’s a total disservice to Mike’s character. One of your mains since S1 and you don’t even offer him the option of dying towards the end of the season? Even fucking Eddie got that. Two, it seems like a very easy cop out for not having to make Byler canon. Let’s just have neither ship be endgame and that way we don’t get queerbaiting allegations. It also stands in a zone too close to torture porn for my liking, because sure let’s kill the character two of the most traumatized characters in the history of TV love most. And yes, it’s also a disservice to El and Will’s characters. And lastly, if that supposed letter vaguely alludes Mike having some sort of sexuality problems (we don’t know atp) it is pretty fucked up they just killed him off like that. Sure let’s not explore any of that, but give a half assed explanation via letter ex machina. This is looking like Supernatural finale levels of bad to me.

Another point, I distinctly remember the Duffers saying, after S4, that they could never kill off a character like Mike because it would be too painful, and that ST would cease to be ST and lose its identity. They didn’t want to be like GOT. I sincerely hope they actually meant this and were not trying to be cheeky or whatever the fuck.

It would be genuinely insane, and quite frankly, a highlight of their lack of writing abilities.

I hope the leaks are wrong, but I felt like it was necessary to warn everyone just in case. I know I’m not watching something this awful.

[sloancameronspits]

Cold Sloan Creamery

A charming cutie steals your attention at your boring coffee-shop job. Turns out they've got a food service gig as well - a much sweeter one. Modern AU.

Another experiment I did with first-person stuff. Sex is alluded to but not present. Word count: 2253. Enjoy!

Five A.M. Entirely too early to be doing anything, let alone having to drag myself into work for another day; yet here I was, miserably reading the back of a shampoo bottle in the shower. Mornings like this, I would idly wonder if it was worth quitting my job. Technically, I could probably survive college without it if I took out more loans. There were benefits to working at a coffee shop as well. I just had to push through it.

I turned off the water and grabbed a towel. Working on campus was pleasant at least, even on the weekends it felt like I was part of a community. I had a few regulars I knew and enjoyed talking to. I was hyping myself up as I dried myself off, hoping to make the day a little less miserable. It worked slightly, as I was at least able to muster up the energy to get ready and make it there.

The lights were already on, and I mumbled “good morning”s to my coworkers as I kept preparing myself mentally for the day ahead. I made myself a small coffee - one of the perks of the job was a free drink per shift, and I needed it now - and drank it entirely too quickly for something that hot. With that, I was finally ready to start the drudgery of commerce. It was Saturday, so there was no rush of people coming to class, but there were still a few customers. Just get into the groove, it’ll be fine. I thought to myself.

I was able to dissociate and lose myself in filling orders and making drinks, and by the time I looked at the clock again I had made it to eleven. Not too bad so far, just a few hours to go. The next customer came up, looking a bit frazzled, and I couldn’t help but notice how cute they were. Cute brown hair, an eyebrow piercing, a dazzling smile - they had it all. And they would have their caramel latte with extra whipped cream they ordered in that beautiful high-energy voice.

They took their drink and sat themselves on one of our tables, pulling out a laptop festooned with stickers. A few pride stickers, including a nonbinary flag in a cute heart, as well as a litany of representations of historic places. A column from the Parthenon, a pyramid from Giza… this was clearly someone who was well versed in the wonders of the world. Exploring sounded nice right about now, trapped in work. At least it was lunchtime. Maybe I should talk to them? No, that was weird. I took another small coffee - one small coffee plus another still added up to one free drink, right? - and sat down at a table near enough to the mysterious cutie without being so close that I’d be anxious. It didn’t work. I was still anxious, hearing them tap-tap-tap away at their keyboard. I hadn’t had an infatuation this powerful or instant in a long time, and it had me sweating.

“Howdy!” They’d directed their attention to me. I was careful not to get my hopes up, but there was an outside shot that this was my chance. “That latte was really good. You seemed kinda down so I figured I’d uh, swing by?” They had taken their laptop over to my table, and were smiling that adorable chipped smile at me again. 

“Oh, thank you.” I said. Don’t fumble now, I thought to myself. “I was just thinking about an assignment I have due next week.”

They nodded. “Ugh, I feel that. I was actually working on a paper about the classical structures of Rome, which I love, but the writing still gets to me.”

“That sounds unique. What degree is that for?”

Their eyes lit up and they started to ramble a bit. “Archaeology! It’s been one of my favorite topics… well, my whole life! It’s been so fun to study. Still not into the writing though.” They sighed. “I wish I could get out of the classroom and out into the field, but digsites won’t take you without the degree. Lame.”

“Where are you hoping to get to work at once you get the degree?”

They paused for a moment in thought, then continued with their mile-a-minute responses. “I mean my favorite place in the whole world is Cairo, and I’d love to get to find an undiscovered part of the Pyramids, but I worry that staying in one place will mean I miss out on all the other places I could explore! I guess my answer is that I want to travel a lot? It would certainly be better than now, where the farthest I travel is from my dorm to the gym.”

Their figure did look as if they were into working out - not too much, but they certainly looked like an arm wrestling contest with them would not be particularly close. Hot. Averting my eyes, I checked my watch. Three minutes left on my lunch break. “Well, I’ve gotta get back to work. It was really nice talking to you…” I realized I hadn’t got their name.

They realized too. “I’m Sloan! Nice to meet you too! Hopefully I’ll see you around?”

“Yeah! Best of luck on your paper. When in Rome and all that.”

They stuck their tongue out playfully as they packed up their laptop, and left with a wave. I spent the rest of my shift hoping I’d see them again soon. That said, I think I was the only one who was going to drink two coffees in one day, so I guess it’d have to wait…

---

Two P.M. I was finally free from my job for the day. Most of the time, I only worked weekends, so in a way I was already halfway through the week. Despite this, I was still willing to spend a bit to get myself a little treat. A new ice cream shop had opened near campus, and it did sound relaxing to get a cone and relax in the courtyard in the summer sun. 

A small bell rang on the door as I entered, and I heard a surprisingly familiar voice greet me. “Welcome to Lindholm’s Ice Cream, where sweet treats are always…” They trailed off. “It’s you! Hello!” Sloan was there, on the job, dressed in a cute but admittedly somewhat tacky red and white striped outfit adorned with a hat and bowtie.

“You work here? I promise this is a coincidence.” I said sheepishly.

“Aw shucks, I mean you’re allowed to come visit just for me.” They said with a grin. “What can I get ya?”

“Oh, um…” My order was suddenly gone from my mind, lost in their eyes. “Whatever you recommend? Dealer’s choice.”

“Not something I hear often, but I can dig that.” They said, getting a scoop out and taking a hunk of pink dessert. “This one’s a simple combination I like. Strawberry and vanilla.”

“That sounds good. Thanks!” As they took the second scoop and placed it into a cone, I took the treat. “Is it alright if I hang out here? I’m not sure how busy you guys get.”

“Of course you can! As for business…” They put their hands on their cheeks in exaggerated disappointment. “You’re the first customer we’ve had today. I don’t know if the owner doesn’t do any advertising or what, but it gets pretty boring.” They perked back up a bit. “I still get paid the same either way, so I guess it doesn’t matter.”

“So how long have you worked here?” I asked, taking a spoonful of ice cream. The strawberry flavor was really refreshing after today.

“Like a month. It’s honestly not that bad. Nobody comes in, so I’m not bothered. Plus, they let me mess around with my own uniform for, uh, gender reasons. Let me wear this snazzy bowtie.” They stepped out from behind the counter with their own ice cream and sat down across from me.

“This is good! My compliments to the scooper.”

“‘Course! My taste is always good.”

---

The next few weeks, stopping by the ice cream shop on days when Sloan was working became something of a ritual. It was always nice to give them some company, chat about what was going on in our respective classes, and just… soak in their energy. Their bright smile, their cheery laugh, even down to their regularly changing nail polish, they just exuded positivity and light. Soon, they started coming to get more coffee more regularly, and we spent my breaks there talking as well. It turned my feelings on work around to know I’d get to see Sloan around midway through the day.

It was about a month before during one of our conversations over ice cream that I noticed Sloan was acting kind of strangely. Their eyes wouldn’t quite meet mine, their hands trembled a bit as they served out our desserts, and they nervously tapped their fingers on their side. They sat down across from me, eyes staring straight at their ice cream. There was no one else in the store, as usual - I’d seen maybe two other customers in the last month. 

“You okay, Sloan?”

“Yeah. Yeah!” Their downward gaze still didn’t change. They muttered under their breath. “¡Demonios!”

“If something’s bothering you, I’m happy to listen. Professor being a jerk again? Argument with someone?”

“No, no. Nothing like that.” They breathed in deeply. “Could you come with me to the back for a second?”

“I know I come in here a lot, but I don’t actually work here.” I said with a laugh.

“It’s fine, nobody else will come in anyway.” They grabbed my hand and practically dragged me to the storeroom in the back.

“Did you need me to like, do inventory?” I said, befuddled.

“Will you go out with me?” They said, finally meeting my gaze. “I know this is sudden, but I just can’t stop thinking about you.”

I stood stunned for a moment, overwhelmed by what had just happened.

“This was a bad idea. I knew it. I’m sorry. I don’t want to cause trouble-”

“Of course, Sloan!” I interrupted. “I’d love to, I just - I’ve thought about this for so long, ever since we first met. I was just afraid to ask too.”

Sloan smiled, a big grin showing off their chipped tooth, and pulled me into a hug. “Thank you. Thank you so much!” They mumbled into my shoulder. It was so comforting, their frame wrapped around me, the warmth of their body making the momentary anxiety fade away, their eyebrow piercing shining in the light, their goofy paper hat sliding off as they leaned into me.

“Do we need to go back out front? I don’t want you to get in trouble.”

“Nobody’s going to show up, and I want to go further. I need you.” They cupped my face in their hands.

“Okay. Take the lead then.”

Sloan took a moment to summon their usual optimism and courage, freeing themselves from their earlier fear; then, they pulled my face in for a kiss. Their lips gave in to mine with ease, and I melted into their embrace. I could taste a hint of sweetness on them. They reached an arm around me and gently lifted me, letting me fall deeper in. This was bliss. My tongue met theirs and my mind started to go blank. The rest of the world seemed to fade out; I was focused on them exclusively.

After an amount of time - I couldn’t tell how much - we pulled apart a bit, still in an embrace but not quite as close. “Still doing good?” Sloan panted out.

“So good.” I said. “If you want to go farther I’m willing.”

Sloan thought for a second, then shook their head. “Not here. That’ll have to wait for after my shift. I don’t want to get THAT much in trouble with my boss.”

I laughed, managing to get to my feet. They did as well, and I helped them smooth out their uniform to try to hide the evidence of our little escapade. Their hair was well mussed from my hands grasping through it, so I attempted to fix it. With a few brushes of my hand in a more orderly fashion, it almost worked. 

Sloan took out their phone to look at themselves. They laughed too. “Sloan Cameron, back in action, baby!” They mimed finger guns at me.

Clutching my heart in faux pain, I blew them a kiss and headed back out to the front. Just as they predicted, the ice cream shop was barren. “Looks like your job’s safe, Sloan.”

“Of course! You didn’t doubt me, did you?” They said. 

As the flood of emotions faded from me, I suddenly started to notice one thing that I can’t believe I hadn’t up until now. I was freezing. “How cold is it back there?” I said, starting to shiver.

“It’s an ice cream freezer! I’m just used to it.” They said with a smirk. “I’ve got an idea, though…” They threw their jacket at me. “Just bring it back to me later! I just keep it here just in case, I’m not using it much anyway. It’s hot out.” Grabbing a scrap of paper, they quickly scrawled in messy handwriting a note and handed it to me. It was their dorm room, their phone number, and a heart. “See you soon!”

[photmath]

New Mate | Dominik Szoboszlai

Pairing: Dominik Szoboszlai x Female Reader

Summary: In which Dominik joins the reader's friend group and the two spark up a connection even though the reader doesn't want to acknowledge it.

Word Count: 7.7k

Warnings: brief drunk Dom, halloween party, kiss, corn field

Note: I just love friend groups and this fic goes through them doing friendship fc stuff but mainly fluff with Dom and reader. Sorry, it is fairly PG. It's a bit long because this will probably be the only fic I write within the next few weeks/months. I also really really love Halloween.

“This is Dominik,” Trent introduces Dominik to the group. Trent, dressed in his dark red training outfit stands next to Dominik, who’s brown, disheveled hair drips from the raindrops despite having an umbrella sticking out of his backpack.

Jude smirks, holding out his hand for Dominik to shake. Dominik makes a show of wiping his hand across his grey sweats before greeting Jude.

“He’s the one who’s suspended from training for a week,” Trent says.

Jude’s jaw drops, “Mate! You didn’t have to tell him that.”

“Well he heard all about this ‘Jude’ person today in training and was confused on why you weren’t there.”

Dominik chuckles at the guys, before turning towards you, Reina, and Marie. His eyes dance around the three of you and then settle with a shy smile as he holds eye contact with you.

“Y/N, Reina, and Marie, in that order,” Trent says.

The three of you shake hands with him and then he sits down in the empty seat next to you, a bashful smile on his face as he listens to Trent and Jude bicker.

You turn towards Reina, who eyes him suspiciously, and say, “I bet he doesn’t last four weeks.”

Reina smirks, “How much?”

“A twenty.”

“Ohh, that confident?,” she joked.

“C’mon, when has someone new ever lasted that long with us? They always end up leaving.”

It was true, the group was formed when you all were nearly ten years old. You had known Trent after beating him in a race at school. You had met Reina the same year, finding out that you were neighbors shortly afterward. As for Jude and Marie, you met them while playing pick-up footy a year later. Five was already a crowd, let alone adding another, but individually you all were close. There would be days where you would only hang out with Jude, or Trent, or Marie alone or some combination of whoever could make it. You all studied together as well, took some classes together, and as of recently, moved in together.

Moving in together was something different. You had already lived with the girls but allowing Trent and Jude to move in was them metaphorically signing a lengthy pact that they would be good roommates—and because they begged on their knees for a week.

Reina leans in closer to you, “I’ll take the bet. Something about him tells me he’s here to stay. I don’t think Trent would have told us to be extra nice to him and introduce us to him so fast if not.”

You nod in agreement, the situations were different this time.

You glance down at your phone for the time, “Oof, I’ll see you guys later, I have to head to class.”

“You have class right now?” Dominik inquires, glancing up at you as you stand.

Nodding, you put on your rain jacket, “Yeah, it starts in about twenty minutes or so.”

“Oh I have class too, here let’s just walk together,” Dominik suggests and stands up.

Reina lets out a snort while Marie waves at the two of you. Jude and Trent bid their goodbyes as you wait for Dominik to sling his backpack over his shoulder. Walking out of the library and through the elevators is quiet, but comfortable nonetheless.

“I still don’t know my way around campus if I’m being honest,” Dominik chuckles.

“Do you know the name building? Maybe I can help,” you offer, deciding to listen to Reina’s pestering voice in your head.

“If you could just point me in the general direction,” he says nervously. “It’s called ‘Glass Hall.’”

“Oh that’s where I’m going.”

Perfect.

“Really?” Dominik excites. He places his hand on his chest and lets out an exhale, “That makes me feel a lot better actually.”

As the two of you near the library doors, he holds them open and then slips his umbrella out and opens it up. He tucks it between the two of you so you stay fairly close to him even though you have a rain jacket with a hoodie on. He’s already gone through the trouble.

“Didn’t think you knew how to work your umbrella after seeing you come in wet.”

He laughs loudly in your ear, “I was in a rush meeting Trent and thought I’d be okay just running a little bit, but no.”

You laugh with him, bumping into his shoulder every so often but neither of you make the motion to step aside. As you make your way around campus to Glass Hall, Dominik looks around, his head seemingly constant on a swivel as he takes in his new surroundings.

His eyes catch yours, a shy smile riddling his face, “I’m trying to remember. The boys only showed me the way to the fields and the main part of campus behind us.”

“You’ll get it down quickly, don’t worry. It’s like one of those things that once you know, you don’t have to think about it ever again.”

He nods, “Fast learner, hmm.”

Once you reach Glass Hall, Dominik folds his umbrella and shakes it. His eyes scrunch up at the building, “Thought there’d be more glass.”

You stifle a laugh, “No, definitely not. ‘Glass’ just happened to be their last name.”

He shakes his head with a smile, holding the door for you again, “Thank you for helping me get here.”

“Of course, I have to go use the restroom now, but the room numbers are pretty easy to find. Just follow the signs, we’re on the second floor right now.”

He nods, “Got it.”

Somehow, someway, you don’t expect Dominik to find the classroom after you. You took your time in the restroom, knowing you had some minutes to spare, so once you scouted the room and didn’t see Dominik—not that you were expecting him to be in the class—you thought you were fine. However, the moment you glance up at the double doors, he makes eye contact with you and you feel your cheeks raise in heat. He eyes the empty seat next you and immediately makes his way to it.

A childish chuckle erupts from him as he plops down, “I walked in circles.”

You fight off any annoyance you had towards him. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to get to know him, it was more so that you had yet to know him at all. You knew exactly how Jude or Trent were in the classroom, knew that you couldn’t sit next to Reina or else you would talk to her throughout the lecture, but there was nothing for Dominik.

You furrow your brows, “Did you get lost?”

“No, it just was too early to come in, the class from before was still in here.”

You nod, “Maybe I should’ve asked what room number you were in.”

He laughs, “It’s okay. It would’ve been a surprise either way.”

Somehow, class goes smoothly without much interruption. Dominik pays attention to the lecture, jots down his notes in a journal and steals any glance towards you that he can get.

“Do you want to grab coffee?” he asks on his way out of the class.

“No it’s okay, I think I’m going to head back to the house, I’m not sure yet.”

He nods, “Ah, well it was nice meeting you.”

“You too, Dominik.”

----

Four weeks later, he was still sending you bashful smiles and trying to get you to crack. You engaged in conversation and his jokes, but he sensed that you still had some kind of wall up. Your responses were never too personal or sometimes downright vague. He would still ask if you wanted to grab coffee or lunch before meeting up with the group after class but you respectfully declined each time. On the other hand, Dominik cringed at the amount of times you had rejected him in the past weeks. Especially when you showed up to the library with coffee in your hand alongside Trent just after saying you needed to save money.

The class you shared with Dominik met for two days out of the week and each day the two of you would walk together to the library or you would split off somewhere else. The group would already be there in the study room, their classes either finished or were going to start in the next hour.

But it being the fourth week of class also meant that the group was due for doing something fun to take off the stress of studying and being in the house together. It was Dominik’s first time out with the group where you all were finally going somewhere other than a restaurant.

Now, squished beside Dominik in the backseat of Reina’s car, you had to let whatever metaphorical wall you had down because half of your ass was planted against his thigh.

“Oh fuck off!” Jude curses loudly, swiping his arm towards Marie who sat in the passenger.

“Hit me one more time, Jude,” Marie turns around and threatens. You can feel Dominik’s thigh tense underneath you at her outburst. The two of them argued before but Marie was never this upset.

“What?” Jude taunted, “what are you going to do?”

Marie reaches over and grabs a piece of Jude’s skin, twisting it within her pinch. Jude squirms onto Trent, Trent then pushing him onto your side that you fall more onto Dominik. Your head bumps against his, while your hand reaches for his other thigh so that you don’t slam into the door.

“Alright, both of you, chill the fuck out,” you tap Marie’s hand off of Jude’s calf while he groans. He folds his arms across his chest. His elbow stabs into your side that you have to lean more onto Dominik, who’s been quiet the entire time.

“This is why we don’t go bowling,” Reina mutters.

“I’m taller than all of you yet I’m in the back,” Jude huffs.

“Shut the fuck up, Jude,” you and Marie say in unison. He rolls his eyes, grumbling underneath his breath.

Once you all arrive at the bowling alley, you trickle out of the car, taking Dominik’s hand as he holds it out for you.

“Thank you,” you say warmly and he nods, closing the door behind you. Marie comes around from the passenger seat and gives Jude a side-hug, Jude’s annoyance doesn’t waver and you chuckle.

“Is he going to be upset the entire time?” Dominik whispers.

You shake your head, “I promise by the time we walk through those doors he’ll be smiling.”

Dominik raises his eyebrows, amused with your confidence, “Yeah?”

You hold out your pinky, “They’re fine.”

He takes it, promising the meaningless bet. His face squirms from the sunlight beaming down onto him, “Good, Marie is terrifying.”

Upon entrance, Dominik holds the door for everyone and like clockwork, Jude and Trent laugh loudly at something Marie says. You give Dominik a wink, him smiling brightly from the back of the group.

The six of you divide into two groups, you teaming up with the girls while the boys team up. Throughout the night, Dominik seems to always be at arm's length near you, always standing or sitting beside you between turns.

Of course he played as if there was real money on the line, easily getting strikes and spares. Even when Marie tried to distract him on the line, he got the spare like it was nothing. Trent was the one who usually was good at bowling amongst the group, but he was a solid ten points behind Dominik now.

That also meant that the girls were losing terribly.

“He’s too good,” Trent shakes his head as Dominik hits another strike. The ball curled right into the center pin at the last second, knocking them all down immediately.

You blew out a raspberry, impressed, looking back at Trent, “How does it feel to get knocked down from the one thing you're good at?”

He laughs, “Shush.”

Dominik comes back and sits down in the seat next to you, letting out a small sigh. Trent’s facial expression is still wide with shock. Jude, up next, immediately sends the ball into the gutter, cursing loudly.

You snort, “That kid.”

“How has he only hit 15 pins this entire game?” Dominik laughs.

“Look look,” Trent leans over and points at Jude getting ready to take his second chance. He rolls the ball and it seems promising, until it takes a roll to the right and goes down the gutter—again.

The three of you burst into laughter, Jude’s huffing and puffing only exacerbating the laughs. You don’t realize your hand had wrapped around Dominik’s bicep to support your laugh until you let go. He doesn’t seem to be phased by it at all though.

“I’m done, I’m done,” Jude complains, sitting down. Reina gets up for her turn, ignoring Jude’s antics.

“Jude do you want to pick the restaurant then?” you suggest. Jude looks up at you from across the table and nods, taking out his phone and searching for places nearby. You almost felt bad that Jude was a sore loser, but he was good at other things and loved to boast about them, so emphasis on the almost.

With the girls losing by nearly 100 points as the final score, you shake hands with the boys, giving Jude a sympathetic hug.

“You are such a loser,” you whisper.

“We beat you though.”

“You got the least of points.”

“It’s a team sport, I just let the lads down.”

“God you are so dramatic,” you laugh and he breaks out of character, laughing with you. Midlaugh, you catch Dominik’s eye on the both of you, a faint smile on his lips as he stares.

“Good game, Jude.”

“You too.”

Jude ends up sitting in the passenger seat on the way to the restaurant because he ‘has to give Reina the instructions’ to the restaurant. Marie is on one side of you while you are still squished against Dominik. His arm is spread out around the seats. Trent is pressed against the window so you couldn’t complain much.

Jude characteristically picks a crowded restaurant that has a short wait time but you slither between the line to go use the restroom. The girls don’t come along, insisting you were good to go alone, but quickly realize you’d regret it fast.

“Hey,” the guy waiting next to the men’s restroom says. He’s a lot older, jet black hair with wide blue eyes. His rustic brown leather jacket reeks of sweat and grass.

“Hi.”

“How’s it going?”

“Um, good.”

“You’re really beautiful, you know?”

You purse your lips, “Thanks.” Whoever was inside the single girl’s restroom needed to hurry up.

“What’s your name?”

You give him a fake name, fighting the urge to roll your eyes. There’s a moment of silence before the men’s door opens, instead of him going inside, he stays still. Even though there’s music and the clatter of a busy restaurant in the background, it’s lethally quiet in the hallway. The second the man grabs his phone, a thumping feeling evades your stomach. You swallow hard, hands beginning to pool with sweat as you imagine trying to defend yourself.

“Oh, hey!” There’s a chirpy voice coming towards you, Dominik. You can’t help but to gulp as you look up at him, although his smile doesn’t waver. He wraps his hands around your head, pulling you into his chest, “I’ve missed you, babe.” He says it loudly for the guy to hear and you don’t hesitate wrapping your arms around him, realizing what he was doing.

The women’s restroom door opens and she walks out, the guy still not moving. After a couple of seconds, the guy finally leaves and Dominik pulls away.

“Are you okay?” His hands are reluctant to let go, scanning your face it seems for every and any expression.

“How did you know?”

“I was watching you.” He says it as if it was a casual fact, as if it wasn’t a big deal. You were used to the boys being protective but this felt different, none of them had noticed this time except Dominik. “Do you still need to use the restroom?”

“Yeah,” you let go of him and he nods.

“I’ll be right here.”

“Thank you, Dom.”

He nods, “No problem, édesem.”

Your cheeks burn as you close the restroom door, certainly not understanding his last word or even recognizing its spelling so you can’t search it up. You’d have to ask him later on what it meant, but for now you were going to ignore the creepy guy and enjoy your time with the group.

The rest of the dining goes without a problem for you and the group, you sitting next to Trent while Dominik sits across from you. The table is so small that you can feel Dominik’s knees bump into you from time to time but you pay no attention to it. He would send you small smiles throughout dinner, asking you what you were gonna get, and engage in conversation.

He was kind, much different than any other guy you had been introduced to by the boys or met in class. After the small debacle with the guy by the restroom, you realized just how far Dominik was willing to go to care for the group—or how far he had already gone. At one point, you had walked into the study room and he was shirtless as Trent and Marie used him to practice placing electrodes around his chest. Or when he stayed with Jude until the night to help him with his math homework. During the dinner nights that Dominik would join, he would help clean the kitchen afterward without having to be told, immediately helping whoever was cleaning.

“There’s a pumpkin patch!” Marie exclaims from the backseat as you all make your way back to the house. “You have to stop Reina, look, it's still open!”

“A corn maze,” Jude hums, “you know I’ve always seen those in the movies but I’ve never been.”

“It’s quite dark,” Trent murmurs.

“Makes it all better,” Dominik chimes. His low voice is right next to your ear and it sends goosebumps down your spine because you don’t expect to hear him at all. “Corn mazes in the dark—oof. Perfect.”

“See, Dom, that is some death wish type of stuff,” Reina shakes her head.

“You don’t like scary things?”

“No!” Reina pulls over anyway, intrigued with the twinkling orange lights. The area was still well-lit with people lingering around despite the night sky in full effect.

“Do you like scary movies?” Dominik whispers, tapping your shoulder.

You face towards him, your response at the tip of your tongue but it halts at his eyes. They’re set on your lips, a small smile plastered on his face as he looks up at you. He leans his head against the space between the window and headrest, that small smile turning smug.

“N-No,” you admit, cheeks going hot under his gaze. You slowly turn your head towards the front, trying to shake off his stare but to no avail.

Arriving at the pumpkin patch, you and the girls immediately head towards the pumpkins, searching through the smaller ones for the perfect one. You watch as some younger kids knock on a couple of them and then place them to their ears. Dominik chuckles, doing the same and sending one of them a goofy smile as he catches her stare.

“It sounds perfect.”

“How do you know?”

He shrugs, “I trust myself.”

“Ohh,” you gawk while he raises his eyebrows up as he bluffs. You laugh, pushing against his arm, glancing at the girls who had two smaller pumpkins at their sides. You keep on walking around the sections of the pumpkins, scanning them and holding them, before finally settling on one. As you search for the group, you notice Dominik is the only one waiting for you some steps away.

He nods to the start of the corn maze, “Come on.”

“They all went into it?”

“Yeah, it’s not long, I think.”

“Not long if you don’t get lost,” you grumble. It looked a little spooky, especially with the glow of the lights dimming the further you stepped into it. The soothing incandescent lights were replaced with fewer fluorescent ones.

Dominik smirks, adjusting the grip on his pumpkin, “It’s not scary. Little kids are going into it.”

“They also jump off playgrounds without caring.”

He chuckles, pushing you gently along.

“I can just wait out here.”

“Come on, édesem, then you never have to do anything.”

You hug the pumpkin a little tighter and step further into the maze. The leaves of the corn slap alongside your body as you and Dominik make your way through it, so far there were no scary pop ups.

“So bowling?” you say, trying to get rid of the eerie quietness. “How did you get so good at it?”

Dominik holds up some leaves so you can get through it, “We played it a lot at my old school. Me and my teammates. We had bowling lanes at our school too, and it was small, so they were always empty.”

“Oh so you’ve had a lot of practice?” you were shivering, trying to hold onto this pumpkin without making it obvious that the growing darkness was making you a little more scared. The corn crops were nearly Dominik’s height, and so looking up at the sky seemed so vastful when you only had a sliver of space to do so.

He chuckles, “I have. We competed a lot and I don’t like losing.” You laugh, it’s so strained that he sends you a look, “You okay?”

“It’s just a little scary.”

“There are signs! It would’ve been scary if we had none and we got lost in here,” he jabbered.

“We still can,” you turn towards the sign beside you just to make sure that you were going in the right direction. “They’re hanging by a piece of tape, what if it falls off? Or a kid rips them off—Dom?” Dominik’s presence beside you had suddenly disappeared. You hadn’t even felt him walk away or heard him squeeze into the crops. His body heat had still ghosted the skin of your arm.

“Okay, Dom, very funny,” you groan, spinning around in place. You knew he couldn’t have gone far. “I’m scared, you got me, now come out.”

Seconds in silence went by, and what seemed to scare you more was knowing that Dominik could see you but you couldn’t see him. The thought of other people lurking in the crops being able to do the same crept across you that you shuddered.

“Seriously Dominik,” you mumbled. “I’m getting scared okay, it’s not funny.”

You let out a groan of frustration, rubbing your temples with one hand. The light starting to flicker didn’t help, you looked up at it immediately.

Great.

“Dom—”

As you turned towards the path, you smashed into Dominik’s chest, recognizing his skull and bones necklace before you shut your eyes closed. You shriek and let go of the pumpkin in the process, him catching it midfall. His laugh fills your ears but you can feel your heart damn near beating out of your chest. You hadn’t heard yourself scream that scared in so long that you hit his arm.

“Jesus!”

“Okay, I won’t do that again.”

“You are such an ass!” you say through shielded eyes. His hand is resting against your back as he pushes you into the direction of the exit. Your heartbeat doesn’t calm down until you both stumble out, finally getting rid of the weight of the fear across your back.

Dominik still wears an arrogant smug as the two of you head towards the paying booth for the pumpkins. You pull out your wallet, glancing at your last twenty, “Oh darn, I was going to use that last twenty for Reina.” You shrug, taking it out.

“I can pay for them,” Dominik suggests.

“No it’s okay.”

“We can call it even, me scaring you in the corn maze and I pay for your pumpkin,” he says. “Really, it’s fine.”

“Okay,” you concede, slipping the twenty back into your wallet. As the two of you stand next in line, you search for the rest of the group, seeing only Jude, Marie, and Reina in a section. Trent had to be somewhere close by but you weren’t worried, just glad that they weren’t lost in the corn maze.

Dominik turns towards you after he’s done paying, “What were you giving Reina money for?”

“Oh, this dumb bet,” you chuckle, “I lost.”

“Yeah?” he muses. “What was it?”

You bite onto your lip, seeing his lopsided smile and glowing eyes. The tip of his nose had a barely-there red tinge to it from the cold. His hair combed over and gelled in a neat manner and his beard trimmed. He looked content. Content with walking around with you and being in the group over all.

Realizing he had been waiting for an answer, you let out a cough, “Reina and I bet you wouldn’t last four weeks with us.”

He laughs, “Why is that?”

“Because no one ever does, I guess they get intimidated because we are all so close to each other that they feel like they don’t belong.”

He nods, already knowing much of the friends’ history, “I can understand that. And you lost?” He stops in his tracks, his eyebrows furrowing as his smile slowly fades, “If you lost that means—that would mean you had to bet that I wasn’t going to last? Right? Because it’s been nearly a month.”

“Yeah, and you are still here standing strong—”

“But you didn’t think I’d be here.”

“Well, yeah because—”

“Wait wait wait, when exactly was this bet made?”

Dominik’s demeanor seems reluctant to hear the answer to the question that he already knows. Obviously it was early on, four weeks ago to be exact.

You bite onto your cheek, “The first day we met.”

His face scrunches as if he’s been let down—because in a way he has. He shifts his pumpkin to the other side of his hip, running his fingers through his hair not caring that he messed it up.

“So this whole time, it’s why you’ve been so superficial, why only you in the group have been so—just not wanting to hang out with me. Almost avoiding me. Rejecting anything I offer and being hesitant to say yes. You’ve been trying to push me out this entire time for a twenty?”

“No, Dom,” you say the moment he stops. You swallow the lump in your throat, not realizing what you had been doing that the entire time. Disgusted with the way he’s grossly misunderstood the situation, you try to reason with him. “That’s not what happened. It was a dumb bet, meaningless. It didn’t mean anything. You’ve fit into this group like you’ve known us our whole life.”

He shakes his head, licking his lips as he lets out a shaky sigh, “I fit in with everyone except you. You’ve always given me a hard time.”

“By not accepting coffee?”

“By not giving me anything. Everything I know about you is from either watching you or what the group tells me. I ask you where you work and you’re like: ‘Oh, it’s nearby.’ You never give me anything to grasp,” he pinches his fingers together. “I had to ask Trent when your birthday was because you said: ‘Not near.’ What was I supposed to do with that?” The laugh he lets out is almost bitter, absolutely gobsmacked with all the cues that he missed, only realizing them now. “If you didn’t like me, you could’ve just said that. I wouldn’t have taken offense.”

“Dom, that’s not true. I do like you, you’re a great guy and have been nothing but nice to my friends and I.”

“Where do you work then?”

“On campus, I’m a tutor.”

His eyes are riddled with hurt and skepticism. So skeptical that it tugs at your heartstrings because you know he doesn’t believe you. His tongue makes a noise against his teeth as he pulls out his wallet. He pulls out cash, “Here’s the twenty for Reina.” He doesn’t wait for you to grab it, shoves it into your hand so you have to hold it or else it'll fall onto the grass.

“Dominik.”

He shakes his head, “I thought I had finally found a group of friends besides my teammates, Y/N. Maybe the reason no one gets close to you all is because you’re betting against them to lose the entire time.”

The gnawing feeling from your chest travels to your throat, causing you to let out a cough. The feeling of betraying him made you feel so bad, like you had committed a crime. Hell, you might as well have after looking at the realization dawn onto him. His eyes were far from the tender and shy ones you met on the first day.

The car ride back to his apartment was quiet on your side. Dominik doesn’t say a word or laugh the entire time, and once you get to his place, he murmurs his goodbye’s to the group and goes inside.

----

“I thought Dominik was coming?” Jude says to Trent as he enters the kitchen. It had been two weeks since the pumpkin patch and Dominik hadn’t shown up to the library at all. He was either skipping class or found a new seat because he wasn’t sitting next to you either. However, he made it to training and his games without a problem so he was still around somewhere.

Trent shrugs, “He said he was taking care of his roommate. Roommate is hungover.”

Jude cringed, “Ouch.”

Reina bumps into your shoulder on the couch, “Have you got your outfit for tomorrow?” Tomorrow was Dominik’s Halloween party, even though you felt like shit, you had to go in order to talk to him. Hopefully your presence wouldn’t ruin the mood. Dominik had invited the group very early on, knowing that it would just be his teammates and their partners that would be there.

“Of course,” you smile. “Finally got Barbie’s pink hat yesterday.”

“Good!” Reina exclaims.

The two of you talk some more, the boys and Marie joining in on the couch to watch a movie. Even though Dominik had been with you and the group for such a short time, his missing presence was more noticeable the longer he was away. The spot on the couch that everyone designated for him, hadn’t been touched or occupied since his last visit. It started to get sad staring at it being empty.

----

Dominik’s party seemed to be a lot more boisterous than what you were expecting. The players were loudly singing along to the music in the background, their costumes coming undone throughout the night as they partied. The party wasn’t at Dominik’s apartment because having a party in his apartment would’ve most likely gotten shut down immediately. Instead, it was at one of his teammate’s with Dominik’s car parked out in the front.

Dominik dressed up as a cowboy with a brown felt hat and brown boots. Dark jeans with a large belt buckle, white and gray long sleeve shirt that stopped at his forearms. His hair wasn’t gelled as it peaked out of the hat; he looked handsome in his well-thought outfit. He was talking to his friend when you all walked in, his eyes meeting yours and skimming your outfit. Despite him letting his eyes linger on yours, he never smiled or waved. You had to look away eventually, grimacing, waiting until the group went up to greet him. That was the only time you were able to mumble out a greeting as he bent down to give you a hug.

It wasn’t until an hour in that you went upstairs to go use the restroom and found Dominik in the hallway waiting for you. He pointed to a bedroom and let you walk in first.

“Hey,” he says. The lamp next to the door casts a shadow on his eyelashes that makes his eyes look blown and vulnerable.

“Hey,” you purse your lips. “Are you sure we can be in here?”

“It’s Harvey’s room, we told him to lock his doors,” Dominik’s arms are crossed behind him near the door knob but you can hear the small sound of the door locking before he releases his hands.

Dominik’s eyes still hold a dubious flicker in them as he looks at you, waiting for you to say something. He leans against Harvey’s desk.

“Dominik, I'm sorry about all of that. Firstly, it was only me. The group had nothing to do with the bet, they didn’t know about it at all except Reina but she was on your side the entire time. I was just,” you let out a small sigh, “the longer we stayed in contact, I started to realize that you were probably going to last more than a month and that you were a great guy. I didn’t want to be wrong, that me getting close to you was for no reason. I have nothing to hide, really, I’m just not used to opening up to people that much because I’ve known them my entire life. There is nothing to open up with them.”

Dominik nods, shuffling his hands alongside his belt buckle and pockets. His eyes don’t leave yours. The light makes them appear softer, and you can’t tell if he believes you or not because of it.

“I’m sorry for hurting you. It was selfish, very selfish. I should’ve thought about how that would’ve affected you if you were to find out before taking on the bet.”

“It’s okay, I—um—I believe you,” he says. “It just made me really confused because the boys, Jude and Trent, they talk about you a lot when you’re not around, and it was like the things they said weren’t adding up to the version I was with. But then I would see you interact with the others and it was like, that is you. I like who you are when you’re with the group, and I know it will take some time for you to see me as part of one of you guys because of the history, but I really wish you did. It shows sometimes, but…not a lot.”

You almost want to cry at his words, you have to blink rapidly to chase away the tears because they were near. Dominik simpers and you have to fan yourself, “I promised I wouldn’t cry in this makeup that Reina took forever putting on me.” Dominik only laughs as you turn away from him, it being the only way you can stop whatever is happening. “I do see you a part of the group, which is weird to say because I’ve never seen someone else like that, but you not eating dinner with us yesterday like you usually do on Friday’s, really made me miss you.”

Dominik steps forward with a smile the moment the first tear falls.

“Stop laughing, I feel like shit!”

His hat bumps into your’s that he takes both of them off and places them onto Harvey’s bed, “You should, well not anymore because I forgive you. I missed the group and you.”

He gently wipes away the tear that you missed and dries it onto his jeans, not caring if the makeup will potentially stain his jeans or not. “I’m so sorry, Dom.”

“Shh, it’s okay. I know I said I wanted to see the real you but your crying hurts my heart a little,” he says, his accent growing stronger with each word. “The tears keep coming, gah.”

You laugh throughout the tears because he’s being very sweet and gentle with you, even though you shouldn’t be the one receiving the consoling. It should be him that’s more upset but he doesn’t have a hint of anger in him at all. He’s been more focused on you even before you started crying, he was all eyes on you even when you weren’t looking at him.

“Barbie did have a crying scene, you know, so this is fitting.”

Dominik’s face contorts up with confusion, his hand resting on your shoulder as he thinks.

“You didn’t watch Barbie?”

“No.”

“You monster!”

He cheeses, “You aren’t crying anymore.” He throws a fist bump.

“No, because I can’t believe you didn’t watch that movie.”

“Maybe we can watch it together,” he suggests.

“We will,” you say without hesitation. Wiping away the last tears with force, he stifles a chuckle. His messy hat hair and cheeky smile, it made your cheeks warm up.

“Are you okay?” he asks.

You nod, “Are you?”

“Of course,” he wraps his arms around your shoulders and pulls you into a hug. He kisses your forehead and then tucks his head further down into you. He was a great hugger, making you sigh in content as you held onto his strong back.

Once you release, he grabs the hats and places his on top of your head. You’re too engrossed with the way his eyes seem delicate but focused to do such a simple task that you don’t notice the brown brim until he puts on your pink one.

“Hey!”

“We look good,” he says, pointing to the mirror that’s focused behind you. You turn around, his eyes beaming into yours once you find him. “I really like your outfit, the pink, it’s nice.”

“I like yours too,” you say as you turn back towards him. His Adam's apple bobs as he swallows down, his lips parting slightly.

“What do you like about it?” He tilts up the brim of your—his—hat up so that he could see your eyes.

Caught off guard with the question, you glance down at his outfit, feeling his gaze follow your downcast. “I like the belt buckle, and the boots.” You let out a nervous laugh, it stopping immediately once his finger finds your chin, picking your head up to look up at him. You can’t make out the glint of his eyes but it’s intoxicating, drawing you in.

“Édesem,” he repeats. His finger trails to the side of your neck, resting it alongside there while his thumb ghostly traces against your jaw.

The nickname snaps you out of your daze, grounding you to your surroundings, “I still have no idea what that means.” Even though you were still, the urge to pull him closer was strong. It was intoxicating! Luring you in as if you had no morals. His lips and eyes were all you stared at.

His teeth break out through his smile, “It’s Hungarian.”

“I assumed,” you said, your hands finding his hips. Your touch seems to catch him off guard, his mouth eliciting a small gasp as you pinch the material of his shirt between your fingertips.

“Sweetheart, it means sweetheart.”

You can’t help but to break out in a smile, “This whole time you’ve been calling me ‘sweetheart,’ I bet you got a kick from that, hmm? Me not knowing?”

He laughs, throwing his head back, “I’m trying to kiss you right now and you’re ruining it.”

“Then kiss me goddammit,” you urge, gripping onto the sides of his shirts. He chuckles, tilting your head up a little more before kissing you. It’s soft at first, but then his belt buckle hits you near your stomach and you scowl. You block his bulging belt buckle with one hand and he groans, feeling the added pressure down his pants. He laughs within the kiss, pulling away and kissing your cheek before releasing you. Your hands remain tight on his shirt, and he sends you a mischievous glance.

“I told Harvey we were just going to talk.”

“We’re talking,” you say.

He raises his eyebrows, “You’re trouble, édesem.”

“No way,” you let go of his shirt, brushing off the wrinkles and sending him a wink. He shakes his head, bending down to kiss you one last time before unlocking the door and getting out before anything else can happen.

----

“Someone has to take Dominik’s car home, preferably with Dom,” Trent says, holding a drunk Dominik underneath his arm. Dominik clearly hadn’t thought through how his car would get out of here. It would be towed before morning if they didn’t move it, and they were the only lingering ones left from the party, “I’m not all that sober and it’s manual.”

“Like any of us know how to drive manual!” Reina groans. But you did know, having learned how to drive manual some time ago.

“I can do it.”

“Yeah?” Trent raises his eyebrows.

You nod, “Yeah, I got him.” You open Dominik’s car door and help him get inside.

“Just take him to the house,” Trent suggests and you nod, knowing damn well you weren’t about to drive all the way to Dominik’s apartment.

Both of your hats are underneath your arm as you get into the car. Dominik’s holding his head, trying to soothe the impounding headache that’s about to come.

You look towards him after putting the hats in the backseat, “Seatbelt?”

“The car is spinning,” he spurs your name, groaning. You reach up to grab the seatbelt across from him and buckle it for him. He dramatically looks up at you, “You smell good.”

“Thank you, Dom,” you roll your eyes. You adjust the seat and drive to the house. Dominik is fairly quiet for the ride, closing his eyes and nodding off. Trent and the rest of the group should arrive shortly after you.

Dominik leans onto you as the two of you enter the house, him immediately going to the toilet and throwing up, “God I haven’t been this drunk in years. I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright, you can go to sleep here.”

“Can I shower?” The buttons of his shirt are undone, his chest peeking out from underneath. Sweat brimmed around his hairline, making a few pieces stick to his face.

You nod, “Yeah you can. I can find a set of Trent’s clothes for you, I think you both are the same size.”

As you enter the hallway, you can hear the clatter of the rest of them entering from downstairs. You get a set of clothes from Trent and take them up to Dominik, who’s mindlessly staring around in your bedroom.

“You creep,” you mumble.

That goofy smile he wears, you wanted to smack his face for being so handsome even when he was drunk.

“Thank you,” he murmurs, kissing your cheek and then going into your restroom and showering. You take that time to change out of your outfit and grab an extra blanket and pillow for Dominik to use on the couch.

Once he finishes showering, he steps out of the restroom, the shirt slinged over shoulder while he towels off his wet hair. It’s a battle keeping your eyes leveled with his, especially when his teasing smile only adds more flame to the fire.

“You have a nice room,” he says.

“Thanks,” you smile. He sits down on the bed and the moment he starts to lean down you shake your head, “No, no, you are not sleeping on my bed.”

He chuckles, “I’m just laying, resting my head!”

“Dominik, if you sleep—”

“I won’t.” He glances at the wall of pictures you have with the group, he fixes the one that’s crooked, before looking back at you, “I can’t wait to be up there.”

“I have my camera if you want to,” you point to the polaroid sitting on the bottom of your nightstand.

His curious eyes follow you and then look up towards you, “Yeah? I don’t have a shirt on.” His arms suddenly cover up his chest as if he were getting cold.

“We can take one tomorrow or another time if—”

He shakes his head, “It’s alright. Go for it.”

You point the camera in his direction, him cheesing widely and then you hand the photo to him as he waits for it to develop. You take that moment to freshen up in the restroom. You couldn’t have taken more than ten minutes, but that’s enough time for Dominik to have slumped over and fallen asleep. Low, rhythmic snores come out of his nose while his legs hang off the side of the bed. The polaroid is pinched tight between his fingertips.

You groan, accepting that he would be sleeping on your bed. Swinging his legs onto the bed is enough to make him stir but not wake up. Once you get situated on the other end, you turn off the lights and he flips over, his words are a slurred mess as he says: “I missed you, édesem.”

The next morning, Dominik wakes up before you. He looks at you confused, double checking that the rest of his clothes were on and then lets out a loud sigh, waking you up.

“Sorry,” he says meekly, “I got scared.”

“Of what?”

“That we—”

“Ugh,” you groan, throwing a smaller pillow at his shoulder. He laughs, and then immediately clutches his head as he falls back down onto the pillow. “There’s some medicine on the nightstand and water.”

It was still too early for you to wake up, especially with the way the rain pattered against the window. Your room was freezing but not underneath the blankets. You flipped over and faced the wall, closing your eyes while you listened to Dominik stir around. He got up and went to go use the restroom, coming back wearing a gray hoodie of yours.

“It fits,” he cheeses. A small smile creeps onto your lips, he looked so happy. A little goofy with his ruffled hair but handsome. You turn over as Dominik slips back underneath the covers. “Can I?”

You nod and he pulls you closer to him, letting his legs tangle with yours. He kisses your cheek and neck slowly, feeling you squirm underneath him with each ghost of a kiss. The palms of his hands sneak underneath the hem of your shirt and rest on your lower back. They’re so cold but they’re a nice contrast against your searing skin. He lets out a small hum as he closes his eyes, sleeping with you.

----

Note: eheheheh that man is so hot, love him and trent

[vanillaavengerlings]

To all Fanfic/fanart/ fandom content writers/creators/artists/anyone creating fandom content

As we enter the week of 22 July, I wanted to write something hopeful for any writers, artists and content creators out there, because let’s face it, things happening around the world is so grim and most of us are trying to survive the days. 

So, here’s something hopeful for any of you who need this.😄

Please reblog this as much as you can as I would love for fandom writers/creators/artists and for fanfic readers to read this. 

Thank you!

A small background about me - I write fanfics, mostly in the Avengers/Stony fandoms. And it’s what I’ve been doing mostly for a few years, despite schooling and transitioning to work.

It’s my escape from reality. When things get rough, I start writing. Writing fanfictions gives me comfort because I know the characters and I love them, so I feel safe in a way and it’s stress relieving for me.

In 2018, I had to attend a compulsory internship so that I could get my diploma and graduate. My course offered a few positions and one of them was writing for television programs at a well known media company in my country. 

I wanted that job so bad because I wasn’t interested in the others, they were too ‘corporate-like’. So I applied for it. They asked for my portfolio of written works.

And then it hit me. My God, all I’ve written so far were fanfics with male pairing. I come from a conservative country so LGBTQ stories are super rare and can be frowned upon. But that’s all I had and it was all I could submit.

Guess what?

I did just that. I took excerpts from my WIP/published fanfics, and added them into my portfolio. I even went the extra mile and typed a short excerpt into a screenwriting format, like a legit script for a show! (TV writing internships pay special attention to your script writing abilities)

I submitted them.

I was called for an interview a few days later. I was advised to bring hardcopy versions of my written work, so I printed out the stuff from my portfolio. I went for the interview and saw my coursemates, some of whom I consider really capable and smart. 

I thought, there’s no way my fanfics and I stand a chance in getting this job.

I went up first and had the usual interview questions. The last bit came, where the interviewer, a prominent executive producer in my country, asked for my written samples. I handed her the file and gave her a brief explanation of my work.

I told her I published my written works online and have a group of audience who read and review them. I also added that I use their feedback to improve my writing as a whole. She was nodding her head and reading the script of my fanfic I had written. I was hiding my smile. Everything she was flipping through were Stony and Avengers fanfic excerpts!

At last, she handed my file back to me and smiled. It signaled the end of my interview. I went back to my campus and sighed, already looking at the other positions to apply to.

Two hours later, I received the email that I had gotten the job, as a television writer intern at a prominent media company. And all I used were my fanfictions I had written!

I couldn’t believe it worked. My fellow coursemates write really good content and I went into the interview with fanfictions and got the job!

To this day, when I think about this, I laugh. Not in a self-deprecating way, but in a way of disbelief, seeing what I can pull off.

To everyone out there who are thinking so lowly of yourself because all you have done are work related to fandoms, I’ve been there, and I’m here to say that you are so talented coming up with unique content from something that is so fixed and rigid. So don’t be hard on yourself. 

You’re not wasting your time just because you post stuff on AO3 or Tumblr. Every written work/art/creative content is a great way for you to practice and work on your skills. I mean, we all have to start somewhere, right?

Seriously, it takes a lot of talent, creativity and hard work to write fanfictions, draw fanarts and create any fandom related content. And it takes so much of courage to put your work out there in the open for anyone to read.

And that’s the thing! It’s a service that you are doing, letting people read your words, your story, letting people see your art and your creativity. 

Don’t be ashamed of your fandom works. And don’t be ashamed of reading fanfictions. They’re a part of you. So don’t think of yourself lowly. No way. You’re all heroes, in your own ways. 

Some of the best written stories I’ve ever read came from AO3, some of the best art works and funniest content I’ve ever seen are fandom related.

You’ve got this, you talented talented human being. Go out there and shine bright! 🌟

[yesimwriting]

Sick Day

Set in the Final Girl universe, but it is a stand alone fic that can easily be read with no context :)

Summary: Billy and Stu don’t get why they’re so antsy about the latest addition to their friend group being absent from school. Sure, they talk about her more than they talk about anyone else, but not seeing her for one day isn’t enough to justify panic, right? Guess that doesn’t matter, because they find a way to justify checking in anyways.

a/n if you haven’t read final girl and this makes you curious,, the main fic and extras can be found here: Final Girl Series 

fun fact, this is chronologically set at some point after ‘first impressions’ but before the main series, if you haven’t read either that’s fine, it’ll still make sense, i just like building “lore” lol 

also if there are any typos i’m sorry, i’m stuck wearing a wrist brace for a little while, especially while writing

also this was really fun to write so i might do some more mini fics in the final girl universe in between full chapters, it’s more low stakes and is a good way for me to work on adding to their dynamics,, so if you have any ideas/requests for final girl universe specific stuff pls feel free to ask! 

----

It didn’t take Billy long to realize that part of your appeal comes from the fact that you’re not as predictable as everyone else. Maybe it’s because you’re still new, but that’s easy in Woodsboro, where lifelong friendships are practically assigned by the locker you’re given on your first d of middle school.

You’re also a contradiction. Almost everything you’re feeling is visible on your face, but what you’re thinking isn’t as easy to guess. It balances you out, keeping you from being unknown enough to be threatening but still letting you pop enough to keep you from blurring into the background. 

That’s part of the reason he picked up on your routine so quickly. What he knows about you isn’t as concrete as what he has on the people that are a part of his plan, but he knows enough. More than he intended to. He memorized your classes without meaning to and knows the time you get to school and the approximate time you leave. It’s useful, he tells himself, you’re around Sidney and Tatum all the time and him and Stu are still working on fitting you into the plan.

Sure, they’ve decided that you fit as their potential final girl, but it’s rocky. You bring out something panicky in him and some days it’s too much to be around you and know you have the ability to affect him. It’s not the same, not at all, but Billy can’t help the way it reminds him of what his mom’s distance used to make him feel. At risk. And Billy knows Stu, knows that he probably thinks about you twice as much as he brings you up and that there’s such a thing as Stu liking someone too much. 

When there’s uncertainty, it’s easy to fall back on routine, and you stick to a relatively simple one. You get to school riding close to late more often than not, during your study hall you tend to study outside unless Randy doesn’t use it as an excuse to leave early, then you bother him in the library (something Billy doesn’t get), and you take a little longer at your locker at the end of the day. Billy also knows you’re not one to skip. 

You’re never not at school (which may or may not have lead to an increase in the regularity of Stu and Billy’s attendance). You’re too hyper focused on your grades to not show up without a reason. So when Billy passes by your locker right before the home room bell rings and you’re not there it’s weird.

Billy knows you really must not be here when his eyes land on Stu, who’s staring at your locker. Stu walks you to most of your classes and always walks you to homeroom. 

“She’s not here,” Billy summarizes flatly. 

Stu turns his head, a little unsure. “Or she went to class without me.” 

The jab would be subtle to anyone else, but Billy knows what Stu’s getting at. “She’d still be at her locker, she’s always running late in the morning.” Billy focuses on hearing his words, tries to feel them. “We can check her homeroom.” 

A casual enough suggestion. Still not overly concerned. Stu has to walk past your classroom to get to his anyways and Billy takes that route sometimes. With that justification, the two walk down the hall and peak through the door’s long window as un-notably as possible. You’re not in your usual spot, at the desk right behind Casey Becker, who you talk to from time to time (a potential future problem they’re both aware of).

By lunch, it’s confirmed that you never showed up. You’re not in the first period you have with Stu or the third period you have with Sidney and Billy. Tatum brings it up first. Where’s Y/n? Sidney shrugged and mumbled about how you weren’t in second period today. It only took a minute for the girls and Randy to brush over your absence with a simple she must be sick. 

That got under Billy’s skin a little and he couldn’t figure out why. You’re almost weirdly into the whole school thing--everyone here could likely list your top 3 colleges--and stubborn. Even if you’re only absent because you’re sick, you must be pretty knocked out to not be here. But why should he care about you being really sick or your friends being relatively dismissive? 

“Isn’t she a little...Annie Wilkes about school?” Stu’s question comes out casually enough.

Randy looks up, “She’s not that bad.”

Stu blinks, forcing himself to stay in the moment. Randy was quick to defend you even though Stu’s seen him call you worse to your face. Maybe that back and forth is a sad attempt at flirting. “Easy, no one’s saying anything bad about your girlfriend.” 

“She’s not my girlfriend.” 

“Knock it off, Stu, they’re basically related,” Billy forces the words out as casually as he can manage.

Sidney picks up on the joke, mumbling some comment about how they do sort of act like siblings, which gets Tatum off on some tangent about her brother. The conversation doesn’t circle back to the person that’s missing.

In the english class you share with Billy and Stu, the teacher hands back an old essay and gives out a homework packet. The two of them exchange a look. That’s a good enough excuse to stop by your house...if they...wanted to, which they don’t because it’s not like your absence is that relevant.

Billy talks to the teacher after class anyways, saying that he could make sure you get the graded essay and homework. You’re friendly enough that he’s sure he’ll be able to get it to you before you come to class and it’s never a bad idea to have options. Stu doesn’t say anything when Billy gets the papers and neatly places them in a folder. 

----

There’s all this energy and there’s no real outlet for it. Stu doesn’t know what it is, he can’t tell what he wants to do with it or what’d make it feel better. He’s felt versions of it all day, having it drop and morph into an off-brand version of that dark, craving feeling he gets at the thought of feeling a knife plunge into someone and rise back up to an antsy-ness that’d better fit a kid in line for a ride at a theme park.

The energy reaches its peak on the front steps of your porch, but the feeling doesn’t settle on a particular charge. It remains focused on the more positive side of the spectrum, but it’s undercut by some of the urgency of the other urge. 

He had been the first one to bring it up after school, when Billy and him were finally alone. It had started relatively detached, things are still weird when they mention you outside of certain contexts. They’re so used to being open about other things that the fact that they’re both almost shy about something--someone--is twisting. It’s a feeling they’re still learning to take in larger doses. 

They had spent a little too long trying to find an angle to justify a pop in to themselves. It’s one thing to think about you, to talk about you, to like you even. But it’s something else entirely to openly care. To worry about why you’re missing school or if you’re sick. 

Eventually, want won and Billy finally said something that stuck. She can’t be a final girl if she’s dying, and we need her to trust us, to like us. 

This is stupid. A flaring feeling in Billy’s chest has been yelling at him to stop since the idea first formed his mind. It’s a distorted echo of his father’s voice. 

Billy swallows once, forcing himself to finally knock. The only thing more pathetic than what he’s doing is lingering, coming here and then turning back. 

The seconds pass and with each of them, they both feel worse about their decision. And then they hear the lock click and the front door opens and they see you. 

You look more tired than usual and the blanket that’s practically swallowing you whole makes you seem smaller, more vulnerable even though you’re more covered than usual. You squint at the sunlight in a way that makes them think you’ve spent the day in intentionally dimly lit spaces. It takes you a second, but once you finally register them, it’s visible. You’re grinning, practically beaming. 

Billy feels the reaction in his chest. It strains uneasily beneath his ribs, not much unlike what he imagines a heart palpitation could feel like. He briefly thinks he might be able to hold the discomfort against you, but even that thought mostly fades. 

Stu’s flooded with the strange desire to wrap you up in bundles of blankets the way that his mom used to when he was younger. The few times it happened, it was weirdly comforting. He can’t remember the last time she took the time to make sure he was warm until his fever broke, but he knows his dad put a stop to it at an early age. Too needy, too dependent.

“Hi?” It’s partially a question, and your voice hints at raspiness. 

Snapping back into reality, Billy answers, “You weren’t at school.” Your eyebrows draw together and Billy realizes that that wasn’t the easy reaction he thought it’d be. It’s too open and implies concern. 

“Yeah, I kinda have a cold-fever-something. It’s a bug my mom brought home from work. I thought she was being dramatic, but it totally knocked me out.” You lean against your front door. If you sense either of their conflicts, you give no indication of it. “Karma, I guess.” 

Stu lets out a laugh at that. “Karma? You were that mean?” 

Your lips pull into an almost-smile. “The universe seemed to think so.” 

“You think the universe gave you a punishment cold, but your mom’s the dramatic one?” Stu’s biting down a grin, all concerns about showing up melting. 

You glare halfheartedly, “You can’t be not-on-my-side when I’m sick. That’s like...against friend...rules.” Your eyebrows draw together. “That was--that was really lame, forget I said that.” 

The reaction is so warm and you’re doing your best even though you’re clearly still not feeling well and Billy feels an awful swell of what’s likely fondness. “Not sure I want to.” 

Rolling your eyes, you relax even more of your weight against the doorframe. The shift is small, but Billy can’t help but note it. Are you just being casual or are you that tired? “You’re both here to cause problems.” 

“We’re here to be nice.” The look on your face says you might be a little out of it but you haven’t lost IQ points. “We got our essays back and some homework. Billy picked up yours and I drove him to school, and because one day felt way too long to go without seeing you...”

Your laugh is punctuated by a brief cough you burry into your elbow. It’s not like you’re coughing up a lung, but it is a little concerning. “You guys grabbed my stuff?” 

The genuine surprise in your voice sticks out. “Yeah,” Billy slides his backpack off of his shoulders and starts unzipping it, “One of those friend rules.” 

Billy finds his folder as you roll your eyes. “Funny.” 

“It’s what I’m known for,” he keeps his voice flat, and the sarcasm feels a little off, but you smile and that makes it a little easier.

He hands you the papers, his fingertips brushing against yours. “I see why.” 

“I never get that many gold stars.” Stu leans forward, re-reading some of the notes scribbled on next to your grade. “Maybe you should invite me over, tutor me...”

Your nose wrinkles. “Shut up.” By now they’ve learned that that’s the closest you’ll come to retreating.

Stu exaggerates a frown, “What? Bringing you your stuff doesn’t get us invited in?” 

The redirect is a bit of a stretch, but you’re used to the jumps and you’re tired enough to not read much into it. Not as much as Billy does, who’s a little surprised because he and Stu never talked about what they’d do after. He decides that it’s harmless enough. 

Turning your head a little, it almost feels like a part of you forgot there was anything to be invited into. “I don’t want to get you guys sick.” 

It’s such a you response. Always considerate, polite. Billy looks past you and into the house. There’s no noise indicating that anyone’s in there, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re alone. Though the one time he came over to work on a project, he briefly met your mother and was given the impression that she likes making her presence alone. There’s also your mother’s boyfriend, who wasn’t around when Billy came over but based on your comments, he’s not sure being alone with him isn’t worse than being alone. 

“Are you okay?” The question comes out of Billy a little unexpectedly. “You don’t look too...” 

You glare. “Thanks.”

“Not like--” Billy cuts himself off with a sigh. Your eyebrows pinch together briefly. “You look too sick to be alone. At least say your mom’s here.” 

Billy takes in the details of your reaction even though he already has a good idea on what you lying looks like. Harmless, white lies often used to seem more okay with things than you actually are. He sees something similar in the way your chin tilts upwards slightly. “I’m fine.” 

That’s all the confirmation Billy needs. You’re definitely alone. The lack of lie and attempt at dismissal is oddly endearing, especially while you’re like this, leaning against the front door and squeezing your blanket a little tighter. Wait--are you colder? It’s warm out today and there’s not even a breeze. 

A half thought embeds itself beneath Billy’s skin. He gives in, extending an arm slowly. You’re just as confused until Billy’s turning his hand so that the back of his palm is facing you. “I’m--Billy, it’s--” 

The cutoff of your words is sudden, your lips still partially parted, some other jumble of words dying in the back of your throat as Billy’s hand meets your forehead. You don’t move away. It’s been a few seconds, definitely long enough for Billy to have deduced whether or not you have a fever. How did his mom use to do this? 

He takes his time dropping his arm back to his side. Billy doesn’t have too many references to what a fever feels like on someone else, but you did feel warm. “You have a fever.” 

You press your lips together briefly in a forced pout. “You’re worse than my mom.” The blanket is slipping off of your shoulders, you tug it back up. “I’ll take some Tylenol, find a jar of vapor rub.” Angling your head to glance behind you again, you’re returning to that awkward uncertainty. 

The small dismissal digs at them both. It’s bad enough that they let themselves get to this point over one absence and here you are, alone and unwell and completely okay with sending them away. “You sure you’re good here?” 

This time you’re considering it. The proof of the deliberation is there in your silence. More often than not it takes you two or three offers to accept anything you think is an inconvenience. You’re nice to a point of fault. “I’m okay, because no one dies of fever, but if hanging out for a little and seeing absolutely nothing happen to me makes you guys feel better, that’d be cool. But you need to be careful.”

Stu grins, “I thought no one dies of a fever.” 

You take a step back, offering some space for them to pass, “I hope you get this, I think you could use a karma cold.” 

“Now I see why you have one,” Stu mumbles, pretending to be more annoyed than he feels as he steps into your house as you turn your head to stick your tongue out at him. 

Billy follows, lingering in your doorway before shutting your front door. You’re approaching the kitchen, turning your head to look Billy in the eye, “What do you think? Stu deserve one?” 

He briefly pretends to debate, “Worse.” 

You laugh at the irritated sound Stu lets out at the back of his throat. “Do you guys want anything?” They swear they’re fine as you pour yourself a glass of water and use it to down two tylonel tablets. “If my mom gets back from work and thinks I haven’t offered you guys anything to eat or drink, I’m not hearing the end of it.” 

“We’ll defend you.” Stu rests his weight against the kitchen counter, noting the bottle of cough syrup still out. “You need this?” 

You shake your head immediately. “I took some earlier and still feel foggy. I slept most of today.” 

Stu runs his thumb over the white cap, watching it spin without coming off. He considers pushing. Billy changes the subject before Stu has fully made up his mind, “You would be the type to have the most boring sick day.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You’re offended, and it’s oddly soft. “I didn’t just sleep.” 

Billy’s amused enough to press, “What else did you do?” 

“I think I know...” There’s a smugness in Stu’s voice that instantly floods you with embarrassment. Oh no. He’s found them. You snap your head up in time to see Stu holding up some of the tapes you left stacked on the counter. “Beverly Hills 90210, the first four seasons.” 

Billy looks right past you and focuses on Stu. “Only four?” 

“Uh--” You’re caught. “Five’s on right now...and I don’t have a copy of six.” They’re both too quiet, fighting the urge to burst into laughter. “Don’t judge. Trashy teen soaps are popular for a reason.” 

“What about artistic integrity?” 

You dismiss Billy’s question with a scoff that’s a hint too raspy. “Cheap writing in Hollywood isn’t my fault.” 

Instead of returning with another joke (maybe some comment about what Randy would say if he ever found out), Billy pushes himself off of the wall he was leaning against and approaches your refrigerator. 

Billy knows he’s at least heard of the usual home remedies, but he can’t quite place them. Won’t place them because the only person that ever worried about these kinds of things isn’t someone Billy’s willing to think about right now. 

Starve a fever or maybe that’s colds. There’s also...electrolytes? And hydration. That’s probably the best idea. Why does it matter? That thought bothers him, digs under his skin and settles at a wrong angle. He’s seen you. You’re alive, unscathed, and relatively fine. It’s not like any of the bad thoughts were proven right--you weren’t skipping for some other person or leaving.

But you’re uncomfortable. And alone. And vulnerable. Billy hates it. Hates that his awareness of your feelings is lodging itself in his mind and that he can’t really help and that it matters. He’s not sure he remembers the last time anyone besides Stu’s feelings actually mattered. Maybe Sidney’s did once, awhile ago, but that--that didn’t feel nearly as urgent as this.

“You okay?” Your voice snaps him back to the moment, to the glass of water he was getting. “You’re kind of staring at that glass like it knows something it shouldn’t.” 

You drop your voice a little, chin tilting down as you try to be funny. The humor is real enough that Billy doesn’t feel overly pushed, but he does note the thinly veiled genuineness in your words. That’s another thing about you. You say things and you mean them. Even if it’s completely casual, even if it’s a sentiment you’ll forget about immediately until it comes up again. You mean it. 

Billy sets the freshly filled glass on the counter, “Drink more water, your voice sounds like it could be used by a horror movie villain.” 

You frown like Billy’s offended you beyond repair. Just as he thinks you might protest, you pick up the glass and down a fair amount in a few gulps. “Happy?” 

“Oh, he’s thrilled,” Stu hums, “That’s what he looks like when he’s happy.” 

“I think I believe you.” Billy waits until your attention is fully on Stu before letting himself give in and smile a little. 

Stu takes a step towards you, “I’d never lie to you, baby.” He ignores the slight face you make at the nickname. Being sick must make you more irritable because you’ve let much more creative nicknames slide. Stu cups your face between his hands before you can protest. You don’t move or try to shake him off. He takes a second to exaggeratedly feel your skin. “You’re as hot as you look and that’s saying something.” 

“I’m wearing Christmas pajama pants that I got in 8th grade and I spent half the morning on the bathroom floor. No one could find this look attractive.” Stu half shrugs, protests already building, but you snap back to reality before he can get them out. “And if I’m that hot,” you step back, using your hands to pry him off of you, “You shouldn’t be touching me.”

He takes a step towards you. “My immune system’s strong.” Stu briefly flexes an arm, “You think all this could be supported by a weak one?” 

You half smile, giving Stu the opportunity he needs to place his hands on the soft blanket still on your shoulder’s. Again, he’s pleasantly surprised when you don’t brush him off. “You’re gonna get sick.”

Stu rubs a hand up and down your left shoulder, hoping the gesture comes off as light and comforting. “I’ll be fine.” 

Nothing about Stu has given you the indication that he’d be a tolerable sick person. Also, a small part of you is worried a cold like this could really take him out. He rarely dresses warm enough and you’ve seen the amount of energy drinks he’s willing to consume on one day. You’re also not sure you’ve ever seen him eat anything with significant nutritional value. “Every day I find out you’ve managed to keep yourself alive, I’m pleasantly surprised.” 

He squeezes your shoulder. “You’re cranky when you’re sick.” 

“At least she said pleasantly.” 

Stu looks past you to throw a dirty look in Billy’s direction. “Aw, he’s jealous of what we have.” 

Okay--you might be drowsy but you know where the play fighting over you goes. It starts off lighthearted enough, but if you’re not careful it can end kind of sour. One second everyone’s joking and the next Stu’s actually pushing you to pick a side on something that should be harmless but feels heavy. Sometimes Billy gets a little more involved than you think he wants to seem and it never feels fully about you. It’s like half of what they say means something else to them. 

“Okay, no fighting over me,” you shrug Stu off as best you can without losing your blanket, “I belong to this blanket and the couch.” 

You grab your cup of water off the counter and start walking to the living room without checking if they’re following. You hear their footsteps, but pay little mind to that as you settle on the couch and set your glass on the coffee table. 

Billy sits down next to you. “Couch and not your room?” 

Reluctantly sighing, you drop your head back, letting your neck rest at an awkward angle. "I live here now.” 

He can’t tell how much of that is a joke. Are you feeling that sick? “Right.” 

Your attention briefly flickers to the TV, the cliche teen drama that’s still playing being enough to suck you back in even though you’ve missed some context. To him it just looks like overly pretty-ed people overreacting. The scene ends and you return to the present enough to shrug off your blanket and settle the fabric more comfortably on your lap. “You guys can change the tape if you want.” 

A small mercy. Billy stands and begins looking at the tapes stacked on a shelf near the TV. It’s a fair collection, but the movies he saw in your room the time he came over to work on a project were better. He picks the first title that feels decent enough for background that doesn’t seem like too much just in case you’re prone to nausea. 

You’re patiently waiting for the tapes to switch out. Stu’s being quiet, which would have clued you in on a better rested, less sick day. You don’t realize he’s planning anything until you feel the side of your blanket being tugged on. “Stu.”

He scoots closer, “It’s cold.” 

Stu stretches his legs, weaseling himself under your blanket. You weakly try to push him out “There’s another blanket over there.” He ignores you, adjusting so that your legs overlap. “You’re going to get sick.” 

“Your pants are soft,” it’s said so softly, like a kid getting clothes fresh from the laundry.  You’re not sure you have it in you to ruin his good mood. He stretches a foot past your knee and a few inches up your thigh before relaxing back into place. “Fuzzy.”

Despite what you’re wearing, you can feel the comfortable warmth radiating off of him, turning the space beneath the blanket into a space heater. “You’re like a radiator.” 

“I’ll keep you warm an--” 

“Don’t ruin it.”

He frowns, mumbling something about you being “no fun” before sinking further into the couch. You pull more of the blanket onto you and Stu’s hit with the realization that you might not be warm enough. “You want another blanket?” 

You’re clearly surprised by the question. “Uh--no, I think I’m--” 

Stu pushes himself so that his legs are almost off your lap in order to reach the fabric draped over an armchair. He moves back into place and makes a point of draping the blanket over you. “Warmer?” 

“Yeah,” the admission is hesitant.

That is so like you, needing a little push to accept what you need. “Told ya.” 

He must be right because you don’t say anything else. Silence is usually your way of being reluctantly wrong. Stu takes his victory as an excuse to move a little closer. 

Billy sits back down, settling a little closer to the side of the couch. He’s not exactly jealous of how open Stu is. Distance is a good thing, a smart thing. But he does--

A weight on his shoulder. It takes less than a second for realization to wash over him. You’re relaxed, head resting on his upper arm. The room feels a little snugger but it’s not an uncomfortable change. 

The opening credits of the movie are rolling off screen and your eyes are focused on that. “Not to make this weird or lame,” you pause, sniffling slightly as you breathe, “But you guys are kind of nice, sometimes.” 

That has to be a sign of you being tired. Billy fights down a smile. “Sometimes?”

Stu turns his leg to tap your knee, “I think we deserve a little more than that.” 

You move your hand under the blanket to halfheartedly flick his leg. After that, your hand relaxes and rests there. “Fine. Most of the time.” 

[btsficsandsuch]

Everything’s Going to Be Okay

You’re going through a rough time and your husband Yoongi is there to be the support that you need.

Warning: Mentions of depression/anxiety, specifically postpartum depression and anxiety.

I wrote this as kind of a therapy. I mentioned that part of the reason I was starting to write again was because of my anxiety. I have a newborn at home and postpartum anxiety is no joke and I wish I had someone as supportive as this Yoongi in my life. It really does get easier though and I’m starting to feel better.

——————————————————————————

You never thought motherhood would be this hard. You expected the physical pain and the sleepless nights, but you never expected the mental toll it would take on you. Maybe struggling with anxiety long before you gave birth definitely wasn’t helping, but you noticed a significant decline in your mental health once your son was born. Your husband Yoongi noticed this as well.

Your anxiety was starting to become debilitating. Were you a good enough mom? Are you doing everything right? Were you still being a good wife? Does your son love you? What will his future look like? All these thoughts ran through your head day after day.

Yoongi tried his hardest to be there for you in any way that he could. He managed to get a few weeks off to be able to stay at home with you and your son. He kept up on all the household chores making sure the house stayed clean and organized for you. He cooked you three meals a day and made sure you stayed hydrated. He’d wake up with you at 3am when it was time to feed your son though you told him several times he didn’t have to since there wasn’t much he was able to do, but he insisted that if you had to wake up so would he even if it was just to offer moral support.

He was the perfect partner which you should’ve been so happy about, but it just made you feel guilty. You have a beautiful healthy son and a husband who’d walk to the ends of the earth for you and you still couldn’t make yourself to feel happy.

When your son was 6 weeks old it was time for Yoongi to go back to work. He was worried about you, “Y/N I can talk to them and see if I can get more time off. I don’t want to leave you yet.” The two of you were laying in bed together just after Yoongi’s alarm had gone off signaling it was time for him to go. You wrapped your arms around his waist even tighter, “No babe it’s okay. You’ve missed so much as it is. I’ll be okay. I promise.”

Deep down you were worried. You were struggling with Yoongi around so you didn’t know how you were going to manage without him here, but you didn’t want him to give up everything because you couldn’t handle it.

You were sitting on the couch holding your son when Yoongi came walking over car keys in hand. He leaned down and kissed your son, “Be a good boy for your mom alright. She’s doing her best so go easy on her.” He then turned his attention to you, “Please call me if you need anything Y/N. I already let the company know that I won’t hesitate to leave if I need to. My mom also said she’s just a phone call away if you need any thing.” You nodded as he leaned in for a kiss and you watched him walk out out the door.

The first few hours were surprisingly easy. Your son was napping and you were even able to get some stuff done around the house. Yoongi checked on you every hour, asking if you needed anything. You kept thinking how lucky you were to have someone like him. Someone that added so much extra stress to their own life just to try and ease the stress in yours. You were mid thought when the guilt set in. Yoongi was making his life harder because you were weak. He was constantly worried about you because you weren’t able to cope. He couldn’t fully enjoy the first few weeks of his sons life because he had to constantly dote on you because you couldn’t get this right.

You could feel the panic attack starting. It was getting difficult to breathe. Your heart felt like it was going to beat out of your chest. Your body was beginning to sweat. Luckily your son was still sound asleep in his crib. You decided to try and get your mind off of things. You put a load of laundry in the dryer and decided to start on dinner. You were chopping some vegetables trying your best to get this attack to pass when you heard your son start crying through the baby monitor.

You walked to his nursery and brought him with you over to the rocking chair. You began to feed him staring into his tiny eyes. “I’m so sorry Y/S/N. I’m sorry I’m not a good mom. I’m really trying. I promise I’ll get better. But even if I don’t you have the best daddy in the world and he’ll always be there for you when I can’t.” He finished his feed and you changed his diaper and set him back in the crib.

While staring at his perfect little face it hit you in full force. Tears streaming down your face you walked into the hallway and slid down onto the floor. You pulled your knees to your chest finally letting out the sobs you had been holding in. Worried that you wouldn’t be able to take care of your son properly you made the phone call you never thought you’d make.

Yoongi picked up on the second ring, “Y/N are you okay?” You couldn’t say anything. “Y/N tell me what’s wrong.”, he said the concern evident in his voice. “I’m sorry.”, was all you could say between sobs. “Stay right there Y/N. I’m already in my car and I’m on the way.”

You didn’t know what to do. Normally you’d go for a walk or take a hot shower to calm your anxiety, but you knew you needed to be close for your son in case he needed you. You sat outside his nursery and cried. Just when you thought you had run out of tears Yoongi walked through the door. He came right over and crouched down helping you to your feet, “I’m just going to check on Y/S/N real quick okay. Stay right here.” You nodded and watched him walk into the nursery. Yoongi smiled looking down at his baby boy, peacefully sleeping.

Yoongi walked back out and took your hand leading you to the bathroom. He turned on the shower to the temperature he knew you liked. He helped you take off your clothes and undo your hair from the bun it had been in for the last week, “I’ll keep an eye on Y/S/N. Take your time and come out when you’re ready.” You nodded and stepped into the steamy shower. The water hot enough to calm the ache in your chest, but just below the point of burning you. Once again Yoongi was there for you and knew how to help you and all you did was force him to come home early and take care of you.

You spent a while in the shower trying to wash away all the anxiety and guilt and depression. When you got out of the shower you noticed Yoongi had placed your favorite sweats and one of his T-shirts on the counter for you.

When you walked into the bedroom Yoongi was sitting on the bed. He grabbed your hand and pulled you to sit next to him. You tried to pull away, “I need to go feed Y/S/N.” Yoongi shook his head, “I fed him with one of the emergency bottles. He’s sleeping comfortably.” “Well I need to go finish dinner so you have something to eat.”, you said trying to avoid the conversation you knew was about to take place. He shook his head again, “I already ordered some takeout.”

You nodded and the two of you sat in silence for a few minutes until Yoongi began, “Y/N I’m sorry.” You couldn’t hold the tears any longer. You buried your face in his neck wrapping your arms around him, “No I’m sorry Yoongi. I’m the worst wife and mother. I should be happy but I’m not. And all I do is make you worry about me. You have to stop your life to take care of me. I don’t know how to make these feelings go away.”

You cried into his shoulder for several minutes while he slowly rubbed your back. Once he felt like you had calmed down some he lifted your chin so that you were looking at him, “Y/N it’s normal to feel these things. You’ve been through so much over the last couple months. Hell even the nine months before that. You are the best mom. Y/S/N is always fed and changed and loved. Even today when you had a breakdown you still made sure he was taken care of and the first thing you thought of when you got out of the shower was making sure he was okay. And you’ve always been and still are the best wife I could’ve ever asked for. Even in your distressed state you’re worried about making sure I have dinner to eat. You gave me the best gift ever of a child and now it’s my turn to be there for you and give you everything that I can by being whatever you need. We’ll take it day by day. I know things are tough right now, but everything will be okay.”

You could feel the tears start again, a mix of sad tears and happy tears. “How did I get so lucky?”, you said before kissing his cheek. Yoongi smiled, “Have you looked in the mirror lately? I think I’m the lucky one.” You gave him another kiss before getting up to leave the room.

You grabbed your son and brought him out to the living room with you. Yoongi sat on the couch next to you feeding you bites of your dinner while you fed your son. Yoongi’s words repeated in your head. You were going through a rough time, but you had your beautiful son to watch grow up and you had the best support system in Yoongi. You knew he’d never let you fall and just like he’s said, Everything’s going to be okay.

[kimyoonmiauthor]

Better Novel Scrivener Template

BTW, If you liked the Settings Template, this has that plus more...

The Current Novel Template is out of date, the templates aren't really doing much for you. And the variety of icons is rather thin. I set out to fix this.

The template as a whole is PG-13 as the Character Template mentions "dangerous" things like "Kinks" and "Safe Words" OMG. I know. So terrible. So if you don't want to explain those things to anyone underage, don't download it.

As I am NB, and generally queer otherwise, I have included things like Sexual Orientation, Romantic Orientation and a whole load of things to think about when building CHARACTER, SETTING, WORLDBUILDING. I included things that people often forget by using my Uni and College knowledge.

Please, please read the "Read Me First" file if you want to avoid having to load missing icons. I give instructions.

In case you still opened it despite my warnings or it doesn't work, you'll have to load in the icons manually. In which case this is a reference:

The New Icons are: Domestic Products, Imported Goods, Exported Goods, Laws, and Social Stratification. I added extra icons for Weapons and Warfare in case you're not writing Fantasy. Laser Guns and a Historical Pistol.

I did my best to make it CULTURALLY NEUTRAL. If you want them specific, you're on your own.

I also added if you'd like to load them

All these Icons to the folder so You can finally color code your manuscripts to your heart's content. (My unending frustration with Scrivener).

I added an SVG file so if there is an exact shade I missed on the Spiral Notebook Colors or the Hardcover Books, you can add it.

The Composition Notebook file isn't included as it contains a pattern. However, I made pains to make sure it matches real life colors that exist in Composition Notebooks. You wanted the Settings Template? There are 2. One for City/Towns. One general one.

Zero Organization or Clue on Querying or Self pubbing?

I put up Organization Folders for you.

Here are the Templates you get. Everything is beefed up for you. I spent forever on these Templates and testing them. I also cued Styles to them so it's easy to change the colors. If you want to change something, as the About document says, turn on invisibles.

The Default Styles aren't useless anymore.

If you need a more Definitive Guide, I also made one in the file:

Download the Scrivener Template. It is a ZIP FILE Win Zip or other Zip app should be able to handle it.

Warning: Direct Download https://www.kimyoonmi.com/BetterNovelScrivenerTemplate.zip If you want to Skip the Template completely, but are wishing to add the Icons to your Scrivener:

https://www.kimyoonmi.com/ScrivenerIcons.zip

This template itself is not for sale or profit nor are the icons. Also don’t be the person that lies that says you made it. It’s a Creative Commons License Attribution, Noncommercial, No Derivatives by Yoonmi Kim 2024. You may change it for personal use only. Any problems can be addressed directly to me at https://www.kimyoonmiauthor.com. If you would like to translate this into other languages, let me know.

Don't be the ass that tries to sell my hard work, 'cause really, it's free. And I spent a lot of pains and time to make sure it's free and easy to use with a lot of subtle UX. Edit: I added even more stuff to the newest version.

Yes, a Pets Sketch, a Fauna Species Sketch a Flora Species Sketch, there is Literature added to the list of Art (I forgot it. lol I thought the mistake was silly, but yeah.)

And I added a Medicine Section with an icon to the technology section. There are two native icons already for Medicine--syringe and pill, but I kind of felt it didn't always give the feel of fantasy, so I made a Mortar and Pestle from scratch to add, but if you're doing sci-fi or contemporary, etc you can change to the syringe or pill.

I added explainers as well for the items to the guide.

Why?

'Cause. I would love to be able to see people put more thought into their worlds/worldbuilding, even if it doesn't show up. Maybe it won't be only horses for animals as pets. Or an occasional dog. Haha. Having a gay dog like Robin Williams would be great.

[m00nlight-ramblings]

Like Real People Do: Chapter 3

Chapter 3 of "Like Real People Do"

Working a Saturday shift, Eddie and Dustin come to the rescue to help you leave work early...only after you've met potentially a new friend.

Read Chapter 2 here

Pairing: Eddie x female reader (named "Brooke" because I hate using Y/N, but will also be using "you" to make it reader-centric!)

Warnings: swearing, angst if you squint enough

Word Count: 2.11k

A/N: Graphic made by me. I do not give permission for my work (graphic and writing) to be shared without my permission. I have a taglist for this fic, let me know if you'd like to be added to it!

The weather had finally gave way to autumn, the citizens of Hawkins saying goodbye to their tank tops, and hello to their sweaters. The sun was shining on this crisp, autumn day, making you a little stir crazy while you worked your Saturday shift.

Huffing and wiping your brow, you pushed the shelving cart through the Non-Fiction section, feeling like you were missing out. It was a Saturday and the library was virtually empty, and as you watched a group of kids run past the windows, you frowned slightly, wishing you were anywhere but there.

Sure, you loved the library – you loved reading! – but now that your social life was taking a turn for the better in Hawkins (you had gone out a couple of times with Nancy Wheeler, and oddly enough, her younger brother and his crew…most importantly, Eddie), you wanted to go do fun things. For instance, you knew that Eddie and the rest of Hellfire were going to the mall that afternoon, and were later grabbing burgers at Benny’s.

Your mind wandered to Eddie as you grabbed a small stack of books to re-shelve. Thinking of how, in the past few weeks, you had fallen into a nice friendship with him, and how, if given the chance, you’d want to seriously suck face with him.

Not that you’d admit that out loud.

Butterflies appeared in your stomach as you couldn’t help but smile, thinking back at the last time you had hung out with Eddie – after a Hellfire Club meeting, you met him in the parking lot to grab late night sodas at the local convenience store. Somehow, he made sitting in a dimly lit parking lot until 1 AM excessively fun, especially when he kept leaning into you every time he laughed.

Sigh.

His hair was extra curly that night, the summer humidity hanging on for dear life fluffing it up a bit. You noticed he smelled really good too, which, was how he smelled all the time…but it was still really good, and sill worth noticing.

“Uh…excuse me?” Some said from behind, snapping you out of your daydream. You jumped a little and turned around, facing a boy around your age, waving his hand awkwardly. When he finally got your attention, he smiled, “Hi. I’ve been trying to ask for help for a bit now…I hope you’re not in the middle of something?”

You blushed, embarrassed, “Oh god, no. I’m sorry. My brain is…somewhere else.”

He waved his hand as if to say “no big deal”, “It’s Saturday. Your brain isn’t supposed to be working that hard today, anyway.”

You laughed and nodded, “What can I help you with?”

“Well, I’m doing a report on Napoleon for school, and I was wondering if you could help me find some stuff on him?”

“Oh…well, you’re in the right section, and it’s alphabetical, so you can start at the N’s…but unfortunately, I’m not a librarian, so I can’t help you find exactly what you’re looking for…I just put stuff back on the shelves,” You gestured to the pile of books you were holding in your arms, “Eventually. I do put them back on the shelves…eventually.”

The boy nodded and stalled a moment, looking down at your outfit. “Do I…know you? Do you go to Hawkins High?”

You nodded, “I do. I transferred this year. I’m Brooke.”

“Michael. Nice to meet you.” He extended his hand to shake it, but suddenly took his hand back, “Actually…let’s not. Because of the books…” He blushed a little, “I don’t want you to drop them.”

You smiled and waved your elbow as a greeting, “Nice to meet you,” Awkwardly, you transferred weight on your feet, “Well…I better get back to this…the librarian is over in the corner over there if you have questions.” You nodded towards the librarian, who may or may not have been currently sleeping.

Michael gave a little wave, “Yeah, sure. Thanks…it was nice to meet you.” He turned and walked a few steps away, but turned to look back at you. Giving you one last smile, he disappeared around the corner.

Huh. He was nice.

Suddenly, there was a giant crash near the front of the small library. You craned your neck and saw the front display of books on the floor, the books scattered in every direction. You followed the two pair of sneakers standing in front of the (now broken) display, and unsurprisingly, you found Eddie and Dustin. Sheepishly, they waved.

You rolled your eyes and put the book stack down, marching towards them, “What are you guys doing here?” You asked, your voice a hoarse whisper. You snuck a glance at the librarian at the front desk who was wide awake now.

“We’re here to bail you out!” Eddie said proudly, crossing his arms. You smiled at him.

“…you’re what?”

“We’re here to bail you out!” Dustin echoed, shouting excitedly. The librarian stood and put a finger to her lips.

Shh!

“No, I get that, but,” You ushered them over to a corner, trying to not get in trouble, “Why?”

“Because you shouldn’t be cooped up at work on such a beautiful day.” Eddie said, almost in a “duh!” fashion.

“Okay…and how are you going to bail me out?” You asked, incredulously.

Suddenly, Eddie grabbed your arm and dragged you over to the librarian’s desk, Dustin in tow.

“Ma’am!” Eddie said, suddenly acting nervously, “I am this young lady’s brother and I just found out that she is really sick…our doctor just called our house. He told us she shouldn’t be out, so our mom just asked me to take her home.”

“SHE’S CONTAGIOUS!” Dustin wailed dramatically, earning another “Shh!” from the librarian.

“You guys!” You hissed, embarrassed. You could feel the deep blush rising in your cheeks.

The librarian looked at them, then at you, and then at the clock. It read 2:30. Slowly, she looked back at you and sighed heavily.

“You’re lucky you only have a half hour left of your shift,” The librarian said, monotone. She waved her hand in the air, “Go…enjoy the beautiful day. I mean…enjoy your…” She looked over her glasses at Eddie, “Quarantine from your contagious illness.”

Dustin pumped his fist in the air and Eddie smiled, snagging your arm and taking you outside. “I can’t believe that worked.” He said, laughing as soon as he got outside.

“I can’t either…but you canNOT do that again, you guys! I could’ve gotten in trouble!”

“With that dinosaur? She’s so old she’s not going to remember this in like, five minutes.” Dustin said. He shoved his hands in his pockets, “So, Benny’s?”

“To Benny’s!” Eddie said, looping his arm in yours and leading you to his van. You giggled and followed suit, happy to be enjoying the day.

-*-

With your milkshakes to go, you and Eddie were the only two left after everyone had gone home. Currently, you were sitting in the back of his van, the doors open, watching the sun go down outside of the empty field next to Benny’s.

“Cookies and cream was the way to go.” Eddie said, slurping up some of his milkshake, speaking with his mouth open. You shook your head.

“You can’t go wrong with chocolate, Eddie. Any other flavor is just…not right.”

“Chocolate is so boring!”

“Chocolate is a classic!”

“I refuse to argue this bogus point,” Eddie said, putting his hand up in your face, “Quite frankly because there is no argument…I am right.”

You huffed, giggling and crossing your arms. You swung your legs and sipped your milkshake, falling in a comfortable silence with Eddie.

“So…who were you talking to?” Eddie asked randomly. Confused, you shot him a look.

“Huh?”

“When Dustin and I got to the library today, you were talking to…some guy. Who was it?” He nonchalantly sipped his milkshake, staring off at the sunset.

You furrowed your brow, “Oh…his name is Michael? He’s doing a project for school and needed help finding books. Apparently, he goes to our school but…I’ve never seen him,” You shrugged, following Eddie’s gaze.

He paused for a moment, “Oh. Michael Cardin? I think he’s in my study hall…” He nodded slowly, “Cool.”

“Why?”

“Why what?”

You softly punched Eddie’s arm, “Why did you want to know?”

“I dunno,” Eddie said, lifting the straw out of the milkshake cup over and over again, “Just wanted to make sure he wasn’t like…bothering you…or something…” He grumbled.

You could feel your ears turning a bit pink – what was with Eddie wondering that? “Aw, Eddie…are you looking out for me?”

“I just know what people in this town can be like, especially with new kids, so I wanted to make sure he wasn’t giving you shit!” He smiled and chuckled, “Sue me!”

“That’s very nice,” You murmured, looking at him. He met your eyes and smiled, a drawn-out moment between the two of you. You got lost into his eyes before he cleared his throat uncomfortably, running a hand through his hair, “But I wouldn’t be able to sue you for like, anything. I’m the one who had to buy these milkshakes, if you’ve forgotten already.” You joked, trying to ease the tension.

“I told you, when I’m a rich and famous rockstar, I’ll buy you all the milkshakes you want.” He countered, nudging you with his elbow.

“Nah…when you’re a rich and famous rockstar, you’ll forget all about me. You’re gonna have like, 80 million chicks surrounding you, with bleach blonde hair and fancy makeup and tits out to here,” You held your hands far out on your chest, like you were holding beach balls. “That’s who you’re going to be buying milkshakes for.”

“First of all, those kinds of chicks probably don’t want milkshakes, they’ll probably want tequila,” He started, poking your shoulder, “And secondly…what makes you think that I’d ever forget you?”

You turned and looked at Eddie, his brown eyes seemingly boring into your skull. Your breath hitched in your throat as you searched his eyes, trying to find what he meant by that. He was leaning close to you, completely still. Uncomfortably, you shrugged.

“I don’t know…because I’m forgettable?” You mumbled.

“Okay, you must not be as smart as I thought you were because that is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”

“It’s true!” You said, throwing your hands up in the air, “I didn’t have a lot of friends back home! And let’s just say I didn’t have a line of boys waiting to take me on dates, either…” You sighed, “I mean, I don’t think I should be putting a brown paper bag over my head, but-”

“Yeah, well, you don’t need a line of boys waiting for you to take you on a date, just as long as you have the right one.” Eddie said, sucking out some more of his milkshake.

You eyed him and pressed your lips together, your heart starting to beat like crazy in your chest.

“Well…I don’t even have one yet, so…” You tried, quietly. Eddie snorted, putting his milkshake down.

“Well, that Michael guy seemed to have those goo-goo-ga-ga eyes after you guys talked today, so…” His voice tapered off.

You frowned, looking away in disappointment. You didn’t know why you thought maybe Eddie would give you an admittance of a crush, but hearing him try to go the Michael route was a bit crushing.

“Yeah…” You mumbled, sighing lightly and leaning against the edge of the van. You could hear kids playing off in the distance, the sun almost fully set now. Maybe you had read the situation with Eddie wrong? You thought he wouldn’t have been hanging out with you unless there was some sort of feelings there, but he was just given an easy in, and didn’t take it.

You felt lame.

“Are you getting cold? I can drive you home.” He offered, tossing his cup into a garbage can in the parking lot. It went in first try and he pretended to be a crowd roaring, throwing his hands up in the air. You felt sad, but also silly now that he was doing that.

He didn’t seem to even notice what was going on, and now he wanted to drive you home. Great.

You nodded, hopping out the back of the van. Making your way to the passenger seat, you finally spoke, “Yeah, I can go home.”

Eddie didn’t say anything, but got into the driver’s seat after closing the back doors to his van. He looked at you for a bit, and when you turned your head to meet his eyes, he immediately looked out the front window, starting the car.

He drove you home in silence.

---

As always, reblogs, likes, and comments mean the world to me!

Taglist: @cosmicdanielle @sapphire4082 @findmeincorneliastreet @hugdealer @chipster-21

[bra1nw0rmz]

Beba I need your opinion on this. What do you think happens to pavlevi after the train leaves prehevil with them in it? Do they live together? Do they live apart as secret lovers? Because of the society around them.. Of course

Started writing this when I was drunk (sober now), but I have had thoughts abt this !!!!! Started info dumping so yeahhhh

I have some ideas based off them being the only survivors, like say Karin and Co went to go get ending A. So Pav and Levi were the only ones left on the train as Levi was left behind and told to take care of Pav post Kaiser altercation. To make sure he doesn’t bleed out and die.

I feel like they’d probably jump from place to place at first. Causing problems everywhere they go lol. Just following eachother around because of neither of them having any plans or future after Termina. Levi because in the back of his mind, to take care of Pav was the last ‘order’ he was given.

After a while they move up north, away from most of society. Moving into a little abandoned cabin in the woods that Pav caught wind of in the neighbouring town. They clean the place up, repairing and adding stuff.

They’d only go into town every few weeks to a month for supplies. Due to being so far away so it’s like a whole day trip there and back. But they probably like it that way. Pav might invest in a horse at some point, maybe… would have to be after a while of saving up.

Basically everything they eat they caught themselves. Levi would def enjoy ice fishing, it’s relaxing. Pav thinks it’s boring so he prefers to go hunting (the snow landscape thing I drew in my last art dump was actually them going on a hunting trip lol)

For money they’d process and sell the pelts of their game, or sell any extra fish Levi caught. But they are largely off the grid so they don’t need a ton of cash.

Entertainment wise they read books together in bed. Levi would ask Pav what more complex words meant as I’m pretty sure his education would be rather spotty due to being drafted at 13. If Pav didn’t know the word he’d just make up a definition because he doesn’t wanna seem like an idiot lolll (he also has a spotty education, largely self taught)

I think after a while Pav would take up wood carving. Pav seems like the type to prefer to keep himself busy. he’d probably struggle with having patience for it at first, but he’d get the hang of it with time. Little wooden bunnies being his fav thing to carve. Also another thing to sell for extra cash.

I feel like at first Levi would hate living in the cabin, he’s going through heroin withdrawals, he’s lived in cities for most of his life, not used to the cold so he burns through fire wood quickly. But with time he’d really like it because it’s repetitive, and predictable. The security is comfortable really. And it’s only him and Pav so people aren’t a problem.

Pav would be the opposite. Loving it at first because the climate and lifestyle makes him super nostalgic. Hunting being a good way to blow off steam that doesn’t involve starting fights. But he starts to get antsy because he hates staying in the same place for too long and craves novelty. To combat this he either goes on long hunting trips or visits the city to have fun or smth. Levi probably loathes the city trips because heroin is easily available there so he’s tempted to relapse but Pav is there to hold his hand so it’s okay.

But yeah, realistically these losers are too fucked up to function properly in society. So living off grid in the woods feels like a good substitute.

[bengiyo]

My Love Mix Up TH Ep 2 Stray Thoughts

Last week, we began the Thai version of My Love Mix Up. Atom has a crush on his high school classmate Mudmee, admiring her nature. He borrows an eraser from her and realizes she likes the guy who sits in front of him Kongthap (based on a belief in writing your crush’s name on your eraser). Kongthap mistakes the eraser as belonging to Atom and think Atom likes him. Atom doesn’t want to embarrass Mudmee so says the eraser is his. Atom ends up jealous and competitive with Kongthap, but comes to see that he’s a decent dude. Kongthap doesn’t return Atom’s feelings, but wants some time to think about them because he doesn’t know what it means to like someone.

I am admittedly curious about the Thai version of Cinderella.

It’s always funny that a pair will be so lovey-dovey that get assigned roles for it in school plays.

Wow, an ad immediately.

Atom is a klutz in every iteration, but you can’t fall in love if you ain’t clumsy.

People recognizing each other’s kindness, and growing closer as a result, is one of my favorite romantic dynamics.

The Thai kids are always sliding across floors. What is up with this?

Okay, I’m giving Fourth a point for going for the Japanese comedic bit of tripping while standing when someone says something harsh or surprising to you. Kinda wish they hadn’t done a camera trick with it and just let Fourth carry the moment.

Welcome back, The Heart Knows.

Whoa, part 3 is under 4 minutes. I would be so pissed if we went to commercial break that quick on live TV.

I really love the costumes these kids put together for their play.

Oof, secondhand embarrassment.

I hope Fourth actually can’t wink, but this is still funny.

Of course, there’s a musical number. This is a Thai BL after all.

He is mopping the carpet.

Two songs? Get to streaming, girlies.

Aw, and here I was hoping they’d put Atom in the same getup as Mudmee.

They do like making Fourth and Gemini dance together, and they got a third song out of it.

The audience ate that fall up!

That’s right. Kick those boys out!

The Atom-Mudmee friendship remains strong in this version.

It’s really tough for this show, I think. Being on the exact same timing as the first adaptation leaves a lot of room that they have to fill with extra stuff, or they let moments go on a long time. As such, it gives the show a slower velocity that I don’t think helps the humor and makes the show a little sleepy. That being said, they are playing with the tropes in fun ways. They extended the brow wipe, and in Thai BL fashion got an ad out of shower scene with toothpaste instead. I do think I’m struggling with the “toxic masculinity” scene, because GMMTV has shown of late that they’re not that keen on dealing with queerness outside of the bubble. I don’t get why they would not have the class support Atom on the front end, and then introduce those boys, if they’re not going to deal with a queer awakening (which is part of the source material). It’s also a bit tough because Aoki doesn’t recognize how serious his own feelings are until the end of episode 2 when he gets saved by Hashimoto, but here he’s been mooning at Kongthap for the whole episode. Maybe it's the branded pair thing and I'm presuming more than has already developed, but it feels off.

[kitty-tea]

We’re all weird

Link to masterlist

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Reader (formerly)

Hi this is my first time writing something for Harry Potter. The idea for this plot’s kind of based off a dream I had which is why some stuff doesn’t make sense. Like the setting. I know every autistic person has a different experience, so I tried to write this as similar to my own experiences as I could. Also the story doesn’t follow the main timeline of the books or movies. I don’t own any characters except reader and the four first year students.

Whether the reader is diagnosed or not, it’s open to interpretation

Summary: After you catch Draco cheating on you, you’re forced to go to a school banquet. Unfortunately you can’t avoid anyone.

Tags/warnings: ableism, internalized ableism, name calling, reader has an emotional outburst, Dumbledore being confusing, reader is autistic, social isolation, bullying, teasing, Draco being mean, pure blood supremacy, mentions of cheating, angst

You looked around the venue for an empty table. You were one of the last people to arrive, so all the tables were taken. If only you hadn’t spent the last hour overthinking and dreading this event, you could have gotten ready and arrived a lot sooner instead of grabbing one of the last portkeys that were set up at the school.

The theme of the party was for the students to dress in their house colors. Being a Slytherin, you wore an off the shoulder emerald silk dress that went down to your feet, accentuated with a slit that showed off your entire left leg. You decided to keep your hair down to use as a curtain for your face as you always did as a way to avoid eye contact.

As your eyes scanned the rows of small tables lined along the room horizontally, they met the very reason you were dreading coming here. You spotted the group of Slytherins from your year, which included your ex-boyfriend Draco and his friends, Blaise, Crabbe, and Goyle. Draco had his arm around Pansy, who looked over to you, which drew the attention of everyone else at the table.

“Look, it’s Flappy-hands.” Even through all the people talking in the room, you managed to hear Pansy’s comment referring to your habit of flapping your hands when you were happy or excited about something.

You saw Goyle get up from his seat. He started to flap his hands while jumping up and down. Even though you had a harder time reading people’s intentions, you knew he

“I can’t believe I ever dated a freak like her.” Draco was telling his friends. “She brings shame to Slytherin. Would’ve been better off as a Hufflepuff.” He rolled his eyes.

“Only because she's a pure-blood, but that doesn’t mean they should let freaks like her into the Wizarding World.” Blaise said.

“Dumbledore only made her Head Girl because he felt sorry for her. He’s the only one too.” Pansy laughed.

You knew that wasn’t the case as evidenced by your several conversations with him. Dumbledore always knew you were different from other students even before you figured it out, it seemed. When you came to him to question what made you deserve this position, he said something about how he knew you were one of the rare people who would never abuse their position, and that the extra responsibilities would help you grow as a person.

“She really earned her place as Head Girl.” Crabbe smirked before adding, “she’s the Head of the freaks.”

You were in no place to cry at the moment. You wished you could be in one of your “safe rooms” around the school where no one would be around you to bother you.

A few tables in front of the seventh year Slytherins, you spotted the table with the Gryffindors from your year along with Ginny and Luna. Every time you saw Harry Potter with his friends, you couldn’t help but feel jealous. You didn’t know why. Maybe it was because of how well they all seem to belong together, except for when they got into fights but that was normal for any friend group. Everytime you’d pass by them, you’d think about how nice it would be to be friends with Harry, Ron, and Hermione. They might as well have been friends with every Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, and Hufflepuff too. They were welcoming towards students from other houses, except for yours which made you feel left out from the rest of the school. Especially during your fifth year when you found out Harry and his friends formed a secret group called Dumbledore’s Army, and hadn’t invited anyone from Slytherin. Not only was that group in on something you weren’t, but so were your former friends. You felt like a reject in the middle.

Your thoughts were consumed by the events of the past week and the course of your overall social life.

Everything from the day Draco asked you to be his girlfriend to that time you came back into the common room after patrolling the halls and saw him making out with Pansy on the couch invaded your memories. You were completely clueless to the fact that Draco had been flirting with you for the last two years, so it was a surprise to have him ask you out and call you beautiful. Everyone in your group could see how flirtatious he was except for you.

You had years of practice of holding in your tears when something emotional would randomly pop into your mind, this should be no different, you thought.

For as long as you’ve been in school, Draco, and all the other Slytherins from your year were the only people you’ve ever hung out with. Even though you hung out with that group for years, you always felt that there was something off, like you didn’t really belong, and they seemed to think that way too. It wasn’t until you broke off from them that the insults about your differences came at you unrestrained. They’d point out every little thing about you that they found odd, most of which were things you didn’t notice about yourself.

Before you became Head Girl when you used to share a dorm with the other girls, you’d catch them whispering to each other about the little odd things about you they would notice, like how you didn’t understand when you weren’t welcome into a conversation or how there were jokes and expressions you took seriously. You didn’t know how to stick up for yourself without crying, so all you could do was pretend to sleep by using your covers and pillow to muffle your sniffles.

It was a break from your routine after you cut them off where you were left completely lost and confused. You liked routines and order in your life. It was like having the rail of the stairs to hold onto for a long time and relying on it to get you through it, only for it to be snatched from you.

After you had caught your ex-boyfriend making out with Pansy, you used the disillusionment charm to sneak into your dorm where you cried. Not bothering to change out of your uniform, you hatched a plan to get revenge on Draco the next day, to humiliate him in front of the whole school. The plan was that you would intercept him in the courtyard after class and throw all your rage at him, then yell exactly what he’d done in front of everyone. What you didn’t plan was for him and his friends to laugh in your face as they told you that he’d been cheating on you with Pansy since a month into your relationship when he wanted to give up on “dating the freak.” You thought the other students from other houses around you would defend you, but with you being a Slytherin, you should’ve known that they’d keep quiet as you ran away since you were associated with that notorious group.

You were so in your thoughts that you didn’t pay attention to which table you sat yourself at.

“Hello.” You heard a small, high pitch voice from across you. As quickly as you turned to the owner of the voice, you looked down at your lap. It was a first-year Gryffindor student. Next to her was a Hufflepuff boy, also a first-year. It had just come to your attention that you, a seventh-year student, was sitting at a table full of first-years. To your left, you saw a Ravenclaw boy and to the opposite side of you, a Slytherin girl you didn’t recognize. You knew they were first years mostly because they were wearing their school uniforms instead of the fancy dresses and suits the older students were allowed to wear. You assumed the first-years had to show up in their uniforms so that the older students would be able to distinguish the ones who needed guidance more or something like that.

“Aren’t you the Head Girl?” The Gryffindor student asked you.

“Yeah.” You forced yourself to look into her eyes briefly before you spotted the staff table at the back of the room and looked down. You had come close to making eye contact with Draco’s father, Lucius. You should’ve known he’d be there. He was the governor of Hogwarts. Besides your former group, he was the person you were dreading to see for the rest of the night. You used your fingers to brush some hair in front of your face, hoping he wouldn’t see you.

“Why are you hiding your face?” The same girl sitting across from you asked. Shielding half of your face with your hand now, you looked up at her.

“There’s someone here I don’t want to see tonight.” You whispered.

“Who?” The same girl asked, not lowering her voice.

“There’s a man behind you. He’s sitting at the staff table. He’s the blonde man next to Professor Snape. His name is Lucius Malfoy. He’s my ex’s father and the Hogwarts governor.”

“Oh yeah,” the Slytherin girl sitting to your right piped up. “I’ve seen you around a lot with your friends.”

“They’re not my friends anymore.”

“Sorry, I forgot your name. We’re all first years. We don’t really know a lot of people at the school.” The Gryffindor girl said to you. After introducing yourself, they told you their names. The Gryffindor’s name was Melanie, the Slytherin’s name was Kayla, the Ravenclaw’s name was Stuart, and the Hufflepuff was named Owen.

“Why did you and your boyfriend break up?” Kayla asked you. You would’ve thought that she’d be more informed about your house’s gossip, but seeing as her friend told you that they didn’t know a lot of people, you deduced that the four of them mostly kept to each other for company more than students of their own houses.

“I caught him cheating on me with another girl from our house. It’s because they all think I’m weird. They’ve been calling me a freak.” You stopped yourself from saying more. You did not want to start crying.

“It’s okay we’re all weird here.” Melanie said.

“Yeah that’s why we have each other.” Stuart said.

You looked up at all four of them, smiling at their apparent welcomeness towards you. You quickly realized you shouldn’t have looked up again as you spotted Lucius and Snape having a separate conversation from the rest of their table, about you probably.

“I think they’re looking at us.” Stuart tapped on your shoulder. You flinched. “Sorry, do you not like being touched?”

“Don’t you?” You asked him.

“No, it’s fine I hug my friends and family all the time.” He smiled. “You’re like my cat. He hates being touched too.” You couldn’t understand how there were people who were okay with being touched, it felt smothering to you.

Stuart left the mostly one-sided conversation to dig into his plate which gave you time to eavesdrop on the one Lucius and Snape were having.

“I see your son’s ex-girlfriend has distanced herself from her usual friends.” You could hear Snape say even through all the noise of overlapping conversations around you.

As quickly as the two participants of the conversation looked over to you, you hung your head down for the umpteenth time that night.

After a while of you taking your eyes off them, you could feel two new presences behind you, and you didn’t like it at all. You were dreading the words you predicted would come out of Lucius’ mouth should he come into contact with you tonight.

It was Snape who spoke first instead. “If it isn’t the Head Girl, hanging out with the four troublemakers I have the delight of having as my students.”

“Good evening, sir.” It was the first sentence you heard Owen say since he told you his name.

You knew if you turned around you’d see the same scowl you’d grown familiar with seeing over the years.

“Aren’t you, an eighteen-year-old about to graduate, too old to be hanging out with first years? You won’t even be there for them next year.” Snape spoke to you.

With a shaky breath, you forced yourself to look into the eyes of the two men as you turned around in your chair.

Lucius put a hand on Snape’s shoulder. “If you recall our first meeting where I, a seventh year Head Boy befriended you, a first year, you wouldn’t be so harsh on her. She’s only doing for them what I did for you.” You were confused that your ex’s father was apparently defending you.

“I’m going off what happened.” He explained.

“You’re her ex’s dad aren’t you?” Owen turned to him with a raised eyebrow. That made Lucius’ attention snap away from you.

“Did you know your son cheated on her, that’s just mean.” Kayla said.

“How dare you disrespect your elders like that.” Snape clenched his fists. “I’ll be taking ten points from the five of you each. Such disgrace coming from my own house. Unbelievable.” He scoffed.

“That’s not fair.” Melanie argued.

“Does anyone want detention?” Snape warned and everyone at your table shut their mouths.

“I was not aware you and Draco were no longer together until your teacher mentioned it. I’m usually the first person who hears from him.” Lucius said to you. “Really disappointing how you turned out, given the pure blood family you come from.”

Throughout your relationship, you thought the less time you spent with Draco’s parents, the less likely they’ll come to find out about the part of you and your personality you were desperate to keep hidden from other wizards for the sake of you seeming normal to them. And now you knew Snape spilled everything to him, every single thing that made you different that he was able to pick off you.

“Will you stop acting like a child who was caught being naughty and look into the eyes of whomever is speaking to you? As I’ve told you over and over?” You had to suppress the urge to swat Snape’s hand away as he reached down to pull the curtain of hair hovering over half your face. Now, both of your eyes were on him. Even with makeup on, your face felt naked without your hair covering it.

“She doesn’t like it when people touch her, you know. She didn’t do anything wrong.” Kayla glared at him.

He pulled his hand away from you. “That is the second time you have disrespected me tonight.” He glared back at the younger girl.

“She’s just a child, it’s understandable to have the instinct to defend someone who’s unable to do it for themselves.” It hurt that Lucius was taking a jab at your inability to stand up for yourself, something he picked up on really quick. Why couldn’t you pick up things about other people like that?

Snape’s eyes were on you again. You used a trick Dumbledore taught you where you looked at people’s forehead or eyebrows whenever you’d get uncomfortable and overwhelmed with holding eye contact. You used that trick on Snape quite often.

“As someone who’s about to graduate, you should know that the real world won’t be as forgiving of your freakish nature as Professor Dumbledore or your little friends. You know how they treat werewolves and Squibs.”

“I know.” You spoke for the first time in the conversation. You were converting your anger towards how the world had treated you into courage to stand up for yourself. At least that’s how you thought of it “The whole school actually made sure of it when they made it clear I’m not welcome here with the rest of you people!”

You didn’t have much volume control or awareness, and you didn’t know most of the people in the room heard what you said until Snape and Lucius looked around themselves. Your eyes followed theirs. Everyone had halted their conversations.

You saw Draco slap his palm against his forehead, muttering “she’s so embarrassing.”

“So is his father.” Harry whispered to his friends. You heard him and his friends snicker, but Draco didn’t.

“Yes, Draco and Harry. Your father and I are an embarrassment to Slytherin! Whatever!” You snapped at them. “Everyone should go ahead and tell each other how much of a loser I am too!” Your voice started to tremble and so did the tear running down your cheek. “About how I’ve never been truly welcomed in any of you all’s friend groups.”

“If I’d been sorted into Slytherin I would’ve known just how mental she is. Almost feel sorry for Malfoy. And I thought you were the mental one at first, Hermione.” You heard another snide whisper, this time from Ron.

“We’ll maybe if you and the whole school weren’t so closed off in your anti-Slytherin world you would’ve gotten to know me as a person and exactly how mental you think I am or am not!” You shouted at him. He flinched back in his chair. Even though he and the whole school had seen your meltdowns, this was the first time he was the subject of it.

“She’s right. If only Potter’s little friends and us ever got together, then we could all agree and talk about how weird she is.” Draco said and you took a step forward, but Snape grabbed your arm, holding you back.

“Enough!” He yelled harshly enough for Ron to sink into his chair even further.

“Severus, trust me you’ll want to lay your hand off her.” Dumbledore stood up from the staff table and walked over to you.

You didn’t think he sounded mad, but you couldn’t tell most of the time.

Snape let go of you.

“Everyone, you may go back to your previous social engagements.” Dumbledore addressed the whole room.

“Albus, she needs to be disciplined more harshly than the others. I just know she does. Look at the example she’s setting for the younger students.” Snape said to Dumbledore as soon as everyone else started to mind their own businesses.

“I’ll take care of it.” He said and looked over at you. Without any words of objection, Snape and Lucius resumed their places at the staff table, not looking back at the four students that were just talking to them. “I’d like to speak to you alone. This way.” Dumbledore said gently.

You were too ashamed of the way you acted to do anything but nod your head as you followed him on shaky legs to the entrance hall outside the room. You hated how you couldn’t seem to keep your emotions in check as much as everyone else did. It was something that other people would notice about you and call you out as being weak.

As soon as you were alone with Dumbledore, the sobs you held in exploded. “I’m so sorry, I know you’re angry with me. Blaise was right about me being a freak and how I don’t deserve a place in the Wizarding World. And Pansy said you only made me Head Girl because of pity. I tried so hard to be normal, but I can’t.”

Throughout your rambling and sobbing, Dumbledore didn’t interrupt you. Another way Dumbledore treated you different from how the adults treated you was that instead of interrupting you or trying to finish your sentences when you got stuck, he patiently waited for you to finish them yourself.

“I think Snape knows. He knows how… how much I’m not like the others. Please don’t tell him you know too. I can’t have him be… he can’t find out. He thinks something’s off about me. And he hates me for it. He’s ashamed of me and so am I.”

“I see.” Dumbledore said quietly, folding his hands in front of him. “And while I’ll respect your decision to keep some things about yourself private, I can only tell you it’s not something to do lightly.”

“What do you mean?” You were always confused when Dumbledore gave you advice in a cryptic way.

“Let’s just say one can only keep a house made up of mud for so long before it starts raining profusely.” You still didn’t understand the sayings he’d throw at you. You’d always get frustrated with figurative expressions. Why couldn’t people say exactly word for word what they mean?

“Why would I need to build a house with mud? We don’t live in that type of climate. Bricks would be easier to access where my family is from.” Dumbledore chuckled. If someone laughed at something you said it was because they were making fun of you. Dumbledore was the only person you trusted enough to know that wasn’t his intention.

“I can’t be angry with you for the person you are.” Dumbledore brought the topic back to where it was before. “When I was in school, I remember thinking everything I would learn in the classroom and the books would prepare me for what was to come in the real world. I was wrong. The best teachers are often our own experiences. And I think you and your classmates will share those same thoughts after graduating.”

“Thank you, sir.” You said. “I’ll um, get back to the party.”

“Oh, and one last thing.” Dumbledore said as you turned you were about to turn your back. “Before you leave school, I want you to always remember that you should never be ashamed to be who you are.”

“What if people don’t like me for who I am? That’s always the case.” You interjected. Even if you found people who cared for you and accepted you, you didn’t think you’d be able to do it for yourself.

“Which is why I said you should never be ashamed of yourself for your differences.” Dumbledore answered before telling you to go back into the room. You were left wondering if other people thought Dumbledore was just as much of a confusing person as you did.

-

Let me know what you think!

[silverstarfics]

I was so determined to write something for this week’s @thunder-pride bingo square that I literally wrote this fic while having a minor allergic reaction on a plane - in other words there are definitely mistakes in this but please pretend not to notice them oops. Anyway, this is a longer fic than I'd usually post on here, so I recommend reading it on AO3 but I know some people prefer Tumblr, so here we are :))

AO3 link

Stray glitter itched under his left eye, his flag kept getting snagged on his baldric, and he could feel sweat prickling at the base of his spine despite the temperature regulator in his suit, yet Alan had never felt more comfortable in his own skin. His cheeks physically ached from so much smiling. He didn’t think he’d stopped grinning since he’d landed Tracy One on American soil two hours earlier – and no, that wasn’t just because he’d been reunited with his boyfriend. They hadn’t intended to spend practically three months apart – which had been a difficult adjustment after sharing an apartment for the past year – but the end of Alan’s semester meant he was officially back on the IR roster for the summer… just as a busy spell of rescues struck.

Technically, he was here on Official International Rescue Business: representing them at one of the world’s largest Pride parades. Usually, Gordon would have played the role, dressed up in yellow, pink and blue with an unholy amount of glittery body spray decorating not only his skin but his uniform. This year, Alan had taken up the reins. He secretly suspected his family had conspired to give him some downtime – because summer break was supposed to be restful, especially when you were an overachiever who’d decided to double major – and a chance to hang out with Brandon. He’d been instructed to have fun. Literally, Scott had texted him so.

Scotty: Have fun and enjoy your chance to be a dumb 20-year-old.

Scotty: Not too much fun though. You’re representing IR.

Alan had replied: so, on a scale from John to Gordon how much fun can I have?

Scotty: My level of fun only minus the daredevil risks.

Scotty: Just don’t get arrested, that’s all I ask.

“Coming to you from the Pride event of the year,” a loud voice declared dangerously close to Alan’s ear, jolting him out of his thoughts, “I’m here with a bi icon AKA my boyfriend-”

“Really?” he interrupted. “That’s how you’re introducing me?”

“Oh my god, fine.” Brandon hooked an arm around Alan’s neck and dragged him within view of the camera. “I’m here with International Rescue’s one and only Alan Tracy.”

“Better,” Alan accepted, trying to repress the urge to sneeze as Brandon’s flag drifted across his face. “Are you filming or livestreaming right now?”

“Filming,” Brandon assured him. “I’ll edit stuff out later, so you can relax.”

Alan flung his arms out to let his own flag billow in the light breeze. “Oh, I am so relaxed.”

Brandon, on the other hand, looked set to launch into orbit. He’d downed nearly a litre of soda since he’d met Alan at the airport and had chased it down with cotton candy and churros; he still had cinnamon dust on his face and it looked like extra freckles. The sugar rush had hit him around the same time as his adrenaline spike when music had begun to blare from speakers up-and-down the parade. He’d already had several fans come up to him for selfies and signatures which had only added to his energy levels. Even now, he was bouncing on the spot.

“Brand,” Alan tried to hiss, then raised his voice to be heard above the clamour of music and chatter and the swell of live instruments around them. “Brandon, dude, chill.”

“I am so frickin’ chill,” Brandon announced gleefully. He grabbed Alan’s hand and laced their fingers together, rising onto his toes – he hadn’t stopped complaining since Alan had hit the growth spurt that had placed him above Gordon and Virgil – to pull him into a kiss. “See? Chill.”

“Uh huh,” Alan deadpanned. “Super chill.” He frowned at the taste of sugar. “Did you find more candy? Where? And how? I swear you haven’t left my side.”

Brandon levelled the camera with a conspiratorial look. “All geniuses have their ways.”

“I’m cutting you off.” Alan reconsidered his words. “Ew, gross. You’re making me sound responsible.”

Brandon flicked his red baldric. “I feel like responsibility and IR are a joint package.”

“You’ve seen my astroboard stunts.”

“Good point.”

The parade began with an explosion of colour that reminded Alan of the infamous occasion when Gordon had accidentally upended Virgil’s palette mid-painting session. International Rescue had been assigned to the group of NGO floats, so he wasn’t expecting many people to point him out from the crowd. Maybe he’d gotten too used to his life on campus; after the initial buzz, no one cared that The Alan Tracy of International Rescue was a part of their ranks. But to his surprise, there were easily hundreds of people cheering and waving banners directed at him – or at IR or at his family: at least two signs asked for Kayo’s phone number – as the procession marched through the streets. Brandon captured everything on camera, including Alan’s shellshocked expression which prompted several internet comparisons with various memes.

“Hey, hey, Alan, look up.” Brandon cupped Alan’s face, tilting his head to glimpse the livestream of the parade on the giant screens above them. “Better smile, dude!”

“Oh my god.” Alan’s voice pitched into a humiliating squeak. He cleared his throat and fixed a grin on his face as the cameras stayed on him. “Okay, so this- this is a thing that’s happening. Cool. Cool, cool, cool.”

“Breathe,” Brandon teased. He raised their linked hands into the air, prompting another chorus of cheers from the crowd. “People love us! And they really love you, so quit freaking out.”

“I am not freaking out,” Alan protested, then proceeded to do exactly that as a weight crashed into his legs from his right. He staggered and caught his balance against Brandon’s shoulder.

“Woah,” Brandon mumbled, switching off the vlog. “Hey, lil dude. Where’d you come from?”

If the fact that Brandon had turned off the camera weren’t warning enough, his sudden change in pitch from overexcited delight to soft concern would have informed Alan that the new limpet clinging to him was definitely child shaped. He glanced down to glimpse a mop of tawny hair and an adoring, toothy smile. The kid had to be around eleven, certainly no older than twelve, with rainbow face-paint and a shirt emblazoned with Thunderbird Three.

“Hey,” Alan greeted, struck by the baffled urge to laugh. He knelt down to place himself at the kid’s level – honestly, his new height just kept causing problems. “What’s your name?”

“I’m Leo.” The kid – Leo, Alan mentally corrected himself – rocked on his heels as his grin grew impossibly wider. “Sorry for… you know. Running at you and jumping onto the float and stuff. But I really wanted to say hi, ‘cos you’re, like, super cool and you’re kind of my hero, so, um, yeah.”

Brandon leaned down over Alan’s shoulder to whisper teasingly, “Aw.”

Alan elbowed him. “Shut up.” He turned back to Leo. “That’s awesome, buddy! It’s great to meet you. Are you here with someone? I don’t want them to think you’ve gone missing.”

Leo gave an emphatic nod. “My mom.” He pointed in the vague direction of the crowd. “She’s out there somewhere.”

“Oh, boy,” Brandon whistled. “I know where this is going.”

Alan tousled Leo’s hair, then stood back up. “So, I’m thinking…”

“…We should search for the kid’s mom?” Brandon concluded with a fond eyeroll. “Yeah, okay.”

After a brief discussion with the other representatives on the float, Alan made his excuses, then clambered down with Leo perched on his shoulders and Brandon close behind them. The kid kept chattering, hands anchored in Alan’s hair and his heels drumming against Alan’s chest; it brought back treasured childhood memories of the times Alan had sat on Scott’s shoulders as his brother picked paths through crowds. He was aware of Brandon sneaking photos of their silhouettes to send to the family, all dressed up in sparkles and flags and IR blues.

Leo’s mom looked suitably ruffled. Her face was flushed with a mixture of humiliation and horror beneath the shimmery sheen of glitter spray. She fretted her hands in the hem of her t-shirt – pale blue with a supportive motherly caption that made both Alan and Brandon look away – as she began to utter so many apologies that they tripped over one another.

“I am so, so sorry.” She caught Leo’s eye with a warning stare. “He didn’t mean to disturb you. I only took my eyes off him for a second- Leo, have you apologised? Say sorry right this instant. I can’t apologise enough. Thank you so much for bringing him back. It’s just that you’re his hero, you see. He’s been obsessed with the Thunderbirds since he was only so high-” She gestured at her hip. “-and when you came out… Well, you’ve been a healthy role model for him. His hero, really, and- And I should stop rambling and let you get back to the parade. Leo, get down here.”

Alan crouched down to let Leo clamber from his shoulders. He wasn’t sure how to act in the face of such praise – the word hero was tossed around frequently by civilians but it was usually addressed towards elder brothers and on rescues, not a public setting – so settled for some terrible pun outta Gordon’s handbook and laughed nervously while Brandon rolled his eyes.

“Don’t worry about it.” Alan offered Leo a fist bump which the kid readily returned. “He’s been no trouble.” He feigned a serious tone. “I have an important question though: which is the best Thunderbird?”

“One,” Brandon declared and instinctively jumped outta reach before Alan could kick his shins.

Leo wrinkled his nose. “Three, duh.”

“Correct answer.” Alan patted him on the head. “I just had to check.” He grinned at Leo’s wide-eyed, starstruck expression. The kid kept looking at him as if he were a dragon, although perhaps a unicorn would be a better comparison given the rainbows painted onto his baldric. “Maybe don’t run off without telling your mom next time though, okay?” He lowered his voice to a secretive whisper. “I think you scared her. You might want to say sorry.”

Leo’s face fell. “Sorry, Mom. I wasn’t thinking…”

“Clearly,” she replied dryly. “But I think we can let it slide just this once.” She straightened up, craning her neck slightly to meet Alan’s gaze – and nope, he still wasn’t used to that one, it was so weird, how did Scott and John live like this? “It’s his first Pride.”

“Oh, heck yeah,” Brandon cut in. He held up a hand. “High five, lil dude! That’s awesome!”

Leo met his high five with a resounding smack. Alan observed their interaction, fully aware that he probably had the heart-eyes that he’d been accused of on so many occasions by nosy siblings, but hey, whatever, sue him, it was a cute sight. He tugged absently at the edges of his flag as warm affection spread outwards from his chest. Cameras clicked around him as people filmed – hey, it’s the guy from International Rescue – but somehow it didn’t bother him anymore.

“Really,” he continued, forcing himself to turn back to Leo’s mom. “Leo’s a good kid. You should be proud of him. I got super overexcited at my first Pride too. It can be kind of overwhelming.”

She gave a light laugh. “It’s all he’s talked about for the last three months.” She lowered her gaze, voice softening as she hesitated, then confessed, “He was scared to come out to me. I don’t know how I ever gave him that impression – Lord knows I kick myself every day for making my baby think I wouldn’t accept him – but when you came out… He said that if you could be brave enough to tell the world, he could be brave enough to tell his mama. So, thank you, Alan. Truly.”

And-

Wow.

Okay. That was… a lot.

“You’re so emotional,” Brandon teased, prodding Alan’s bicep. “This is why Goose says you have golden retriever energy, dude.” He skimmed his thumb over Alan’s palm, a swift, inconspicuous show of support. “We should probably get back to the parade, but it was awesome to meet you.”

“Of course.” Leo’s mom snagged her son’s shirt. “Say goodbye, Leo.”

“Bye,” Leo chirped, then threw his arms around Alan’s middle. “Thanks for… everything.”

Alan let Brandon lead him through the crowd to a café. They found a quiet corner at the very back, tucked away in a shadowy alcove beside a potted plant and an old Pacman machine. Brandon briefly vanished, then returned with a glass of water and a chocolate chip cookie. He slid both across the table to Alan, then waited expectantly, all wide eyes and furrowed brow.

“Thanks,” Alan replied after a minute. He took a sip of the water, then drained it in one as he realised how dry his mouth had become. “I don’t know why that threw me so much. Like, it was a really nice thing, so why am I…?” He held up a shaky hand. “…you know?”

“’Cos it’s a big deal,” Brandon said quietly. He bumped his sneaker against Alan’s beneath the table. “You’re allowed to be rattled by it, Al. It’s a good thing, but it’s still a lot. Like, I can still remember the first time one of my viewers told me I’d inspired them. I’m pretty sure I threw up afterwards, so you’re doing better than me. Then again, I was like fifteen, so…”

Alan split the cookie. “Want some?”

“It’s like you don’t even know me,” Brandon sighed, grinning as he snatched up half. “Let’s chill here for a few minutes, then we’ll head back out, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Leo was right, you know?”

“What d’you mean?”

Brandon’s smile was the soft, secretive kind, usually reserved for places without the threat of cameras. Alan had gotten to see it almost daily since they’d moved in together when he’d started at MIT, but it still left him mildly breathless.

“You’re a good role model to a bunch of kids like him.”

Alan ducked his head. “You think so?”

“I know so,” Brandon corrected. “Now eat your cookie so we can get back out there.”

Much, much later, after they’d flown back to the island and washed off most of the glitter, Alan had chance to process everything. It made him happy but also nervous at the same time. Like, woah, he was someone’s role model? Kids considered him to be their hero? That was wild. He said as much, airing his thoughts aloud while Virgil clattered around the kitchen and Scott picked at the bowl of chopped pineapple that was intended for the evening’s pizzas.

“It’s just so weird,” Alan continued, drawing his legs up to sit cross-legged on the bar stool. He’d changed into sweatpants and a hoodie that he was pretty sure he’d stolen from John at some point after his sixteenth and had subsequently grown into. There was still glitter caked onto his cheek despite the fact that he’d attacked it with a makeup wipe. “Like, me? I still feel like a kid.”

“You’re Scott’s twenty-year-old child,” Gordon joked as he sidled through the patio doors and made a beeline for the pineapple. “He’s never gonna see you as an adult. Trust me, I’d know.”

“I’m not that bad,” Scott protested half-heartedly.

Gordon patted him on the back. “Smotherhen.”

“Irresponsible guppy.”

“And I wear that title with pride.” Gordon dropped onto the stool beside Alan. “Speaking of pride, how was it? Brandon didn’t give me any of the good gossip. I need details, Allie-gator.”

Alan frowned. “Did you torture my boyfriend? Is that why I haven’t seen him all evening?”

“Nah, that’s ‘cos Penny abducted him. They’re conspiring. We should both be scared.” Gordon tossed a cube of pineapple into his mouth and shot Virgil an innocent smile when his brother heaved a grand sigh and stared pointedly at the pizza bases. “Anyway. Pride. Details. Go.”

“A little kid said Alan was his role model, so Al’s spiralling,” Kayo summarised from her perch on the opposite counter, nursing something strongly alcoholic. “Now you’re all caught up.”

“Aw.” Gordon propped his chin in his hands. “That’s kind of adorable.”

“That’s what I said,” Virgil interjected. He prodded at the bowl of cake batter in his hands, then reached for a baking tray. “Do I leave this as vanilla or add cocoa powder?”

“Add chocolate.” Alan dropped his head onto the counter with a groan. “It’s weird though. I feel… like a fraud, I guess. I don’t have my life together. I survive on pizza pockets and Red Bull.”

Scott glanced up. “I’m sorry, what?”

“Only during finals. I’m mostly a functional adult the rest of the time.”

John’s hologram blinked into life above the projector. “Before you spiral any further, you should know that the internet loves you. Footage of the parade has ended up online. You’ve not just inspired one kid, but a lot of people.”

Alan tossed his hands up. “How is that supposed to make me feel any better? That’s so much more pressure.” He slumped onto the counter. “I just… You guys were my role models, right? And you did a pretty good job-”

“Thanks,” Gordon said, just as Kayo added, “Everyone apart from Gordon did a good job.”

“-so, I’m really happy to be inspiring people but also I don’t want to mess up.”

A contemplative silence settled over the kitchen.

“You’re not going to mess up,” Scott said after a moment. He slid the pineapple out of Gordon’s reach, then moved to stand beside Alan’s seat. “Hey, look at me for a second?” He placed his hands on Alan’s shoulders and offered him a reassuring smile. “All you need to do is keep being yourself. Try your best, stand up for your beliefs, and you’ll do just fine, Allie. Besides…” He tousled Alan’s hair. “You’ve been our hero for just as long as we’ve been yours.”

“Gordon’s not included in that,” Kayo called. Gordon made a crude gesture in her direction. She flung an arm at him. “See? He’s just not role model material.”

Scott ignored them. “You’re doing great, Al. I’m proud of you.”

Alan swallowed the lump of emotion in his throat, then asked, “Can I make a Pride joke?”

Scott sank onto a bar stool beside him and dropped his head onto the counter. “Wake me up when the pizza or the cake is ready, I can’t cope with the terrible puns that are about to happen.”

“Oh, but Scotty,” Alan began.

Gordon let out a wild laugh. “This is gonna be so much fun.”