#and I don’t mean fellow fans who are like ugh we’re so annoying. people who are genuinely like ew cringe

[ironhusband]

People on tumblr who just make fun of fandom culture baffle me. It’s like willingly sitting in a clown car and then loudly declaring that you hate the sound of squeaky shoes.

[imnotwolverine]

Comic con relief

Henry Cavill drabble

Disclaimer: bit of strong language

Author’s note: For all my fellow dorky cosplayers who can’t go to events right now - I feel you. In this drabble you are stuck in an elevator with some of your nerdy friends and ..ehh..one very cute Mr. Cavill? 

Tagsquad: @tumblnewby @magdelen69

(Link to my Masterlist)

Henry. Was. Tired. He blinked as the elevator doors slid open and 4 Nazgûl strolled in, their hoods hiding the people beneath, animated chatter echoing through the small cell as soon as the elevator doors closed again. They didn’t even seem to notice him through their hoods, their bodies turning away from him as one of them peered at the buttons, face hovering mere inches from the buttons, before hesitantly selecting one - they probably could see very little through the gauze of their hoods. Henry stifled a sniffle as he managed to get a better look at them. They weren’t common Nazgûl, their arms clutching happily coloured pool noodles and candy-shaped floaties. Original, he had to give them that. Hehe.

Even after visiting at least a hundred comic cons, he could still savour these moments. There was nothing more enjoyable than to just be able to watch people as they were just so fully engrossed in being themselves that they didn’t even have time to throw themselves at Henry’s feet. Right now, Henry was just another regular man. A regular man standing in an elevator with the pool-ready ring-servants of the dark lord Sauron, like it was just another Wednesday.

Well.

Actually, it really was just another Wednesday.

And this situation wasn’t out of the ordinary for the Wednesdays Henry had been having.

Henry was currently on a tight scheduled press tour and today’s comic con was one of the many events he was attending to promote the new season of the Witcher. The rush of such a tour was a bit of a double edged sword. He loved to meet his fans, but he was only but a man of flesh and blood, a mere mortal. And mortals..well..they get tired.

Leaning heavily against the back of the elevator wall, he observed the Nazgûl as they pressed another one of the buttons, their voices discussing their plans for the night. From the sounds coming from their mysterious hoods, Henry recognised them to be men. Probably brits just like him. One with a deep baritone voice and two tenors. The fourth one quiet.

The elevator started to move up, the Nazgûl quick to widen their stances before it would be a sea of fallen over black robes. Henry smiled again.  

‘Ooph I can’t wait to get this off. It is the freaking Anduin river down my butt crack.’ The baritone voice chuckled.

‘Dude! Grossss. But agreed. Next time we better build in some cooling system. WEW.’ One of the tenors said.

‘Well you guys go ahead and fix that, you’re the techs in here!’ The fourth one spoke. A ..a woman? Henry looked in mild confusion, his eyes gliding down her shapeless black robes, trying to learn more about her but failing miserably. She was quite tall, but other than that there was no saying what she’d look like. It intrigued him, his eyes resting on her for a longer moment then was probably socially appropriate. He was glad they hadn’t realised yet that he was here with them.

‘Ey and we gotta take some last pictures guys. For fun!’ A tenor said, his hand already digging down his robes to pull out a smartphone. This whole scenario was getting more amusing by the second, especially because the dangerous looking gauntlets were obviously not very practical to take pictures with. Henry grinned, deciding to remain quiet.

‘You and your darn pictures. You could practically plaster your whole bedroom with the whole photo report you’ve made today.’ The other tenor sighed, his complaint falling on deaf ears as the tenor leaned into him to make a selfie, his gloves turning up into a “we will rock” sign.

‘Can you blame me though? I mean..look at us! We’re like the sexiest Ringwraiths of the waterpark!’ The tenor laughed, wobbling his head with a sass. A sassy Ringwraith, but of course.

‘Poooolll partyyy…’ The baritone whispered with an ominous tone.

‘Aren’t we just..dreadfully moist.’ The woman said, a dry humour dripping through her words.

Henry decided to step in.

‘Hey, if you want I can take some pictures of you guys?’

With comical spins on their heels, the four quickly turned around, obviously surprised by the fact there was a 5th person in this elevator. They were properly startled, the elevator quiet as the cabin zipped smoothly through the elevator shaft. Henry smiled awkwardly, shrugging.

‘Woa…’ One of the tenors finally managed, his hand quick to move up his hood and reveal the face of a chubby ginger man, his chin hidden behind a thick beard. ’No effing way…eh.. Sorry we didn’t see you there Mr. Cavill.’

The other two men also took off their hoods, looking quite flabbergasted. ‘Oh..I should not have talked about my ass crack…’ The baritone muttered.

Henry laughed, shaking his head. ‘Oh no really, it is fine. You are amongst friends. Do not contempt yourself.’ His eyes quickly slid towards the woman, but she did not take off her hood, her hood only turned so she could see him. Or well..maybe could see him. Perhaps she only saw a vague blur right now.

‘But eh..want me to take a picture of you guys?’ Henry asked again. The men quickly started to nod their heads, hands pulling back their hoods. ‘Yea man! Thanks. That’s very kind of you.’

‘No problem, no problem.’ Henry carefully took the smartphone from the evil looking gauntlet that was stretched out to him, then stepped as far back into the corner as he could. Holding the phone up close to his nose he could just manage to get you all in the picture.

‘Alright. Great! Love your costumes by the way.’

‘Thanks! Oh can we have one picture with you too? I mean, if that’s not too forward. We understand if you -’

‘Oh no please. Sure! I’d love that. Could I perhaps take one with my phone as well, for my..Instagram? Is that okay with you guys?’

‘Heck yes! Woa..’

The men were obviously enjoying how easy going Henry was, and Henry was glad they didn’t go to overboard on the fangirling department. Henry squatted down in front of the Nazgûl squad and first made a selfie with their smartphone, before taking out his smartphone and shooting some selfies with that too.

It was then the elevator came to a very sudden, shaky stop.

The group wobbled dangerously uncoordinated, gauntlets gripping shiny railings and steadying against the walls as it appeared the elevator had gotten stuck, the doors not opening like they usually would. The woman shrieked in slight panic, her body stuck between one of her friends and the corner of the small elevator cabin, her hooded face probably having stopped her from grasping a railing in time.

‘Dudee!!’ She groaned, pushing off her friend.

The friend laughed, moving away before reaching out an arm to pull her back up. ’Sorry darlin’. Looks like you should have eaten less of that buffet..’

‘Very funny.’ She invisibly rolled her eyes.

‘Hehe. Went to that big toe again I’m sure. Gotta lay low on those chocolates dear!’ One of the other men chuckled, the last of the group now peering at the buttons on the panel.

‘Oh just give it a moment.’ Henry said, touching the man’s shoulder to alert him. ‘It’s probably just a little hiccup. It happens more often than you’d like to imagine.’ He smiled.

They all sighed, Henry’s eyes turning up to look at the ceiling. He chewed on his bottom lip in silent frustration, his fingers gripping with aggravation around his phone. 

UGH…really? Could this day get any more frustrating?

He wished he could just wind down for the day. He had been up since 7 o’clock and he maybe, accidentally, accepted to join his manager to an after party event tonight. Standing here, stuck in an elevator, he realised it really was the last thing he wanted to do. He wished he could just pull on a robe just like theirs and disappear into the comfort of just being Henry for tonight. To really..relax.

‘Had a long day?’ The woman asked, tilting her head in Henry’s direction. He looked at her, her face still hooded and cloaked. Alright, she probably could see him, otherwise she hadn’t noticed his quiet sulking. Henry sighed. 

‘Yea. And no end in sight unfortunately. I halfwittedly agreed to join this after party. So perhaps the almighty gods are just sending me a sign by stopping this elevator.’ He smiled a tired smile.

‘Can’t you just..cancel?’ She asked, shrugging.

‘Perhaps. But perhaps the decision to go has already been made by this elevator.’ Henry shrugged in turn.

‘Hey! You could join us for drinks if you want. Just gonna relax in our room. Play a quick D&D campaign with some beers.’ The baritone said, his hand once more moving to remove his cap. He offered Henry a comforting smile, making Henry realise these were really rather nice people. And fun people too.

He sighed. He wished he could say yes. But he ...he promised. He wasn’t one to break promises.

‘Well I promised my manager..can’t really disappoint him. But thanks for the offer -‘

The lights flickered and everyone instantly looked up, hands moving back to the railings to steady themselves for any sudden movement of the cabin. But…nothing. Still no movement.

‘Hmm, looks like they’re trying to fix it.’ Henry said.

‘Any idea how long that usually takes?’ One asked.

The other men once more removed their hoods, faces hot and slightly annoyed, brows furrowing.

‘Could be a few minutes. Could be half an hour. I don’t know really. Just prepare for it to take a while.’

‘UGH. It’s too fucking hot.’ The woman groaned, her hand finally moving to lift her hood. Henry’s eyes instantly moved to see her, his eyes taking in the bliss of recognising soft skin and blushing cheeks as her black hood pulled away.

She was…very…pretty.

He quickly looked away from her, not wishing to seem rude, but his stare did not go unnoticed by the other men, their mouths curling in knowing smiles.

‘Well looks we might be here for a while.’ A very slender faced man with receding hairline said. One of the tenors.

Henry nodded, chewing his lip.

‘Got any tips on what to do? You said this happens more often?’ The woman asked, Henry’s eyes not hesitating a moment to look back into hers. Gods she was far too pretty to be a nerd. He scolded himself for staring at her again, his brain not managing to process the question she just asked him.

‘Earth to Henry, earth to Henry.’ She waved her gauntleted hand in front of his face and he quickly blinked, a blush brushing over his chiseled cheeks.

‘…I am..so..sorry..I just..’ He shook his head and smiled awkwardly, the knowing grins on the faces of the other men growing by the second.

‘I guess I really should take a night to unwind haha. But, to answer your question; there’s not much we can do. Just wait.’

‘Our offer still stands!’ The bearded ginger said, winking. The woman rolled her eyes, but also shrugged in agreement.  

Henry looked at the group hesitantly, before quickly checking the floor sign that was now blinking erratically. It didn’t look like he was going anywhere anytime soon. Perhaps they wouldn’t even make it out of this elevator. Could you imagine? Stuck in an elevator with 4 Nazgûl? He sure had another fun story to tell after today.

‘Thanks..’ Henry smiled.

Could he cancel his manager? Should he..join these people? They seemed fun. And another night alone in a hotel room was probably not going to do him any good either. He chewed his lip again - he did that too often, he admitted it -, his hand suddenly buzzing. Or no actually it was the phone in his hand that was buzzing. 

Like the devil.

His manager had just texted him.

“Henners. I’m afraid I can’t make it. Feeling a bit iffy and gonna hit the hay early. See you tomorrow.”

YES. 

Henry sighed in relief, the weight of the world slightly less heavy on his shoulders just now. He didn’t have to spend his night entertaining others, striking up polite conversation and try to keep his composure while a hundred fans wanted to take pictures with him. He didn’t have to pretend to be this hot shot superstar. He could..

He looked up from his phone, the group of Nazgûl already conversing again about this D&D session they just spoke about. Hmm..Should he? He never…well..maybe?

‘Hey. UH..before I say..yes..is it like..okay if I’ve never played D&D before? I mean I don’t want to..-‘

‘YES MAN! Oh and don’t worry. We’ve had plenty of virgins.’ The skinny man quickly interjected, immediately realising those choice words were…well..less convenient.

They all burst out laughing.

‘Good ol’ cherry poppin’ murder hobos, we are.’ The woman chuckled, poking the skinny man in his side. He groaned, the sound drowning in the now very loud laughter reverberating from Henry’s chest.

‘What?!’ The woman shrugged, acting playfully unabashed.

‘Nothing, nothing. I just..never..ever..heard a pretty woman say something like that..ever.’ Henry chuckled, his laughter making him cough slightly. ‘Sorry about that.’ He grinned, offering her a cheeky wink.

‘Oh..’ The woman started to blush profusely, her hand quick to pull her cap back on.

Cute, Henry thought.

’No, no, please. No need to..’ Henry stepped in closer, his hand carefully lifting the hood back from her face, her flushed cheeks appearing from beneath the pool of black. Gods she was pretty. She looked up into his eyes, her breath coming in short, pupils dilated. Ah..she…liked..him..too? It must be Henry’s lucky day…

The elevator jolted.

And suddenly Henry had her in his arms, his body pressing her back into the corner. Oh she was shapely too. His breath choked as he blinked a bit, his brain short circuiting for the longest moment as his hands safely held her against his chest, perky breasts squished against him. Ooph..okay..take a hold of yourself Henry. Don’t be an idiot now.  

One of the man stood up from his awkward half-tumble and sniffled in amusement, looking at the way Henry held on to his lady friend.

‘WELL. Looks like we found ourselves a knight errant for tonight’s campaign!’

The woman blinked, still somewhat overcome by this strange turn of events, the feeling of being wrapped in the arms of one very hot Henry Cavill, the very man not making any attempt to let her go. And then her lips curled up in a smile, her shoulders starting to shake, a heart warming laugh bursting through her full lips.

‘Just…hahahaha..wiew okay..so you know..I play a very fat old wizardess. Not really likely to be saved by any knight errants..any day.’

‘Well..maybe this Wednesday is different?’ Henry tried, finally stepping back and joining them in their laughter, his lips turning up in an amused grin.

He liked these people and thanked the elevator gods for interfering on his night.

—

And what a fun night it was. It was about 3 o’clock when he finally made it back to his hotel room, his cheeks tired from laughter, his head slightly buzzed from the beer and his heart warm, hands clenched around his phone. His most prized possession right now, because it held her number. Her friends had quickly given it to him when she had gone to the bathroom. And he felt like he was the luckiest man in the whole wide world right now.

A nerdy girl? With humour? And that attractive? Stuck with him in an elevator? He would have said no way, had you told him he’d meet a woman like her this morning. But right now, all he could say was; yes way. Sighing in happy relief, he sank down into his pillow, his heart beating with giddy joy. Today, was perhaps the start of many very good, good days.

[mankai-onlyfans]

if at first you don't succeed - (BanJu)

"Okay, everyone settle down." Izumi's voice somehow manages to quiet the clamor that had erupted the minute that Juza and Banri walked into the practice room.

The rest of the company is all there, under Sakyo's orders, a (mostly) captive audience waiting to see the events of the evening unfold.

The actors are all sitting, arranged in a ring around the edge of the room. A few of them chatter to each other as their director reviews her notes.

"So tonight will be a special practice. We'll be rehearsing a scene with Juza and Banri, which will be filmed and posted at the end of the session."

At these words, more chatter breaks out form the crew, each of them speculating about the elephant in the room.

Sakuya raises his hand.

"Yes, Sakuya?" Izumi points to him briefly with her pencil.

"Isn't it also special because it's a kiss scene?" He asks, his eyes alight with excitement, completely unaware of how much rage those simple words ignite in his fellow leader and star of the scene.

Izumi sighs a little wearily, only imagining the level of difficulty that this rehearsal will bring. "Yes, Sakuya. That's also special."

"Learning how to kiss someone for a scene is nothing to be ashamed of," Tsumugi chimes in. "It's an important skill for a well-rounded actor to have."

Sakyo nods in approval. "Not only that, but getting into the mindset of a character with a different orientation than yourself is an excellent test of both skill and character." He shoots a sharp look in Banri's direction. "All characters should be played with care and intention, but stories of representation are especially important."

Sakyo looks around at all the faces of the budding actors around him. "You never know who might become strengthened by your performance. Someone may take away a feeling of belonging where before they felt isolated." He adjusts his glasses matter of factly. "Our job is to touch the hearts of our audience. If we can achieve that, then we know that the perfomance was a success."

At this, he looks to Banri again. "You will have not only us as your audience, but all of our fans as well. They will all be observing your performance, from all walks of life. You need to touch their hearts and put on a respectful and convincing performance."

With this, he walks around to sit beside Izumi, observing both Banri and Juza carefully. "You'll need to stretch that muscle of empathy that's been left dormant for so long, Settsu."

Banri grits his teeth. He's already sick of this scene, and they haven't even started yet.

"Thank you, Sakyo. Tsuzuru, could you give them their scripts?" Izumi asks, beginning a header for her notes.

Tsuzuru gladly obliges, and begins to explain the premise. "So, this scene is about rogue space travellers, who are harbouring secret feelings for one another. When their ship starts to have problems, it gives them an opportunity to confess."

Juza and Banri both flip through the script. Banri cringes as he reads the dialogue. This is what he's supposed to say to Hyodo? Ugh. This stuff is so sappy. The last lines nearly make him gag. 'We're a constellation?' Why doesn't someone just put him out of his misery?

He looks over to catch a glimpse of Hyodo's reaction, but he's stoic as ever. Juza nods once or twice. He doesn't seem fazed by the dialogue at all. "My character is part cyborg?" He asks Tsuzuru, who nods.

"Yeah, Tim covers the technical parts of the ship." He explains, then glances to Banri. "And Jal covers the mechanical parts. He ran a repair shop on their home planet, so he's good at fixing things."

Banri gives a huff in response.

Izumi claps her hands. "Alright, guys. Let's get rolling!"

The practice goes off without a hitch. Both Banri and Juza are inspired to beat each other at acting, and Banri for one is determined to not lose his cool.

However, as the kiss scene approaches, he feels his palms begin to sweat. How is he supposed to kiss Hyodo? Let alone in front of all these people?

He's so distracted that he misses his line.

"My bad," he mutters, flipping through the script to find his place.

"You're overthinking it." Sakyo says.

Banri rolls his eyes. A big load of help Sakyo is being by pointing it out.

They try again, and this time they make it right up to the line with the kiss. Banri is supposed to initiate it. It's supposed to be passionate.

But he just can't muster the motivation. His lips end up smashed against Hyodo's in nothing that resembles a kiss, pinching his own lip painfully in the process.

"Stop," Izumi rubs at her temples, assessing how best to help them.

Banri can hear a few of their audience members snickering, but a glare from Sakyo shuts them up quickly.

"Okay, we made contact. That was good," she starts out. "But it felt way too forced. Literally." She sighs. "This is a tender scene of their first confession. The kiss should carry the energy and mood leading up to it."

Juza nods. He seems completely unperturbed, and if anything, a little annoyed at Banri for not getting it right.

Banri's hackles raise, his irritation growing at Hyodo's lack of reaction. This is embarrassing! Isn't he embarrassed?

They try again. The lines leading up to the kiss. Banri grabs Juza's arms. Juza touches Banri's cheek.

Banri turns bright red.

He breaks away from their intimate position, covering his face with his arm. "Dammit... can we take five?"

Sakyo makes a noise of irritation, but Izumi grants him the break.

Banri stalks off down the hall to the lounge. He needs a drink of water. Some fresh air.

He doesn't get much alone time, as Hyodo had followed him out.

"What do you want?" Banri asks, clutching his water bottle almost defensively.

Juza stares at him. "I don't think you're gay."

Banri laughs out of sheer surprise. He's bringing this up now? "Gee, thanks pal." He rolls his eyes and is about to brush past him, when Juza grabs his arm.

"But people who know who they are, one hundred percent? Shit like this doesn't faze them." He says. There's no malice in his tone.

Banri stares back at him. "The hell's that supposed to mean?"

Juza looks down at the floor and lets go of Banri's arm. "Just... feelin like you're supposed to feel certain ways about things or that you have to feel certain things... it's limiting." Juza meets his eyes. "Don't limit yourself, Settsu."

Determination is laced throughout his golden eyes. "You're better than that."

Banri doesn't know what to make of this.

He falls back on his reliable method of teasing. "Careful Hyodo, you're starting to sound like you give a shit about me."

"Not a chance." Juza growls, though there's a slight smile on his face.

Banri smirks in return.

Next time they resume practice, the kiss goes off without a hitch. They even go on a bit longer than necessary, much to Azuma's amusement. They're able to record the video in one take, which Izumi is eternally grateful for, and Sakyo deems this punishment a constructive success.

Banri finds himself thinking about his character later that night, while lying in bed.

If he and Hyodo were trapped in space, how would they survive together? Would they grow closer? Would he feel differently about him than he does now?

When he realizes what he's thinking, he snorts at himself for being stupid. Hypothetical space travel doesn't affect his real life.

But in the darkness of their room that night, he swears that he can hear Juza mutter "Goodnight Jal" before drifting off to sleep.

He thinks they could make it.

[drunklander]

Drunj!Der Yells About Outlander

Thoughts on Ep. 502

Watched this episode after winning Wynonna Earp trivia (fuck yeah, The Shit Tickets!) at a bar, put on by a queer af podcast, followed by going to see a queer af movie, and was all ready to get my Beauchamp fix... And it was like oh here’s a taste and a hint that we’re gonna end up in a story line similar to what we’ve already done multiple times, but now on to the menfolk.

For real though, this episode was like an OL greatest hits clip show. It had all the stuff we’ve seen before. A time traveler who wants to go home? Check. Rape PTSD? Check. A man being a dad to a kid who isn’t/might not be his? Check. That same man being the absolute worst? Check. Claire being reckless with future medicine? Check. Townsfolk questioning Claire’s medical knowledge in favor of the local Man of Importance? Check. Jamie trying to be on both sides at once? Check. A villain who seemed to have died the previous season and should have fucking stayed dead? Check.

We’ve literally seen all of this stuff before.

For a show that spent the first part of season two claiming to be a political drama and then last season claiming that they “weren’t political” I see we’re back to just leaning hard into politics that have direct parallels today.

No fucks left to give about the system Murtz is kind of my favorite Murtz. Like this dude spent his whole life living by a code and an oath and was fucked over by the system so many fucking times that he’s ready to just burn it all down. Curious to see how they walk the domestic terrorist vs. freedom fighter line with him for the rest of the season.

Got all excited about the bread title card because yay medicinal mold, but of course, the lead character was relegated to the B story.

Old timey medicine baffles me. Like the fact that bleeding someone was like a catchall remedy boggles the mind.

I feel rull bad for Mrs. Whoeverthefuck though. She tried.

Also, shit like this makes me be like, yo Claire, you sure you wanna stay here? Jamie’s really not all that and a bag of chips. But you do you, boo.

Speaking of Jamie, his hair looks really good. A thousand fruit baskets to the new wig person.

Lulz at Knox thinking the Gathering was about being loyal to king and country. Dummy.

Srsly though, Murtz Valmurtz is really getting under their skin. Is he like the *only* Regulator leader?

The convo between Knox and Jamie is literally as relevant today as it is in the 1770s. But yeah, the show IsN’t PoLiTiCaL.

The fact that fuckers think those at the bottom should be happy with their lot because “lol it could be worse” need to be punched in the face and taken out of power. Stat.

Also any time someone in power talks about civility as a reason not to rise up against injustice, I want to punch them. Because they deserve it.

I want to punch a lot of things.

This whole episode is very Les Mis, tbh.

Literalol at Claire covering dead guy’s face and not his body cavity before Bree comes in.

Aw Bree, why you gotta be a buzzkill? We were cheated of badass Doctor!Claire in S3. Let us have this.

Also, yeah, Claire, Bree’s fucking right. Which you’d think you’d know by now what with alL THE FUCKING TIMES YOU’VE BEEN CALLED A WITCH. AND NOW YOU’RE UPPING YOUR GAME TO LIKE NECROMANCY?!

Also the more she says no one will find out the more annoying it is because *clearly* someone *is* gonna find out and we’re gonna be back on the “she’s a witch!” “I’m not a witch!” “you literally have a dead guy in your closet!” merry-go-round again.

Today in most on-the-nose shots ever: How convenient that Marsali just happens to be doing some butchering right there, right then.

Petition for the show to go full Shondaland and just turn into a backwoods medical drama with Claire and Marsali, and all the others (cough the men cough) can fuck on off.

Tarring and feathering is like the old timey version of #AlwaysPunchAFascist but dialed to 11.

Oh the baggage behind Jamie saying redcoat man will someday wear his scars with honor that none of these fuckers know about...

Ok so clearly the English know that Claire’s a doctor so whenever shit hits the witchy dead dude fan, can we please have a quick resolution and not that dumb af “Claire goes to jail and of course her cellmate is a lesbian because Diana sucks at writing queer characters” nonsense?

Man Jamie is *not* subtle with this convo at the jail. Like Knox is right there and he’s just like hey buddies, I have people and we’re Scottish and y’know how we feel about protecting people vs. obeying the English.

I AM SPARTACUS FITZGIBBONS!

Aaand, naturally, the fuckwit preaching civility is the one to kill a man in cold blood. Rise up, motherfuckers. Rise up.

THANK FUCK ROGER IS A TERRIBLE SHOT BECAUSE IF THAT SQUIRREL DIED I WOULD LEGIT QUIT THE SHOW. RUN AWAY AND BE FREEEEEE YOU PRECIOUS LIL WILDERNESS FLOOFER!

Roger is, and I cannot stress this enough, the fucking worst.

He’s like look how shitty I am at being a soldier but then bitches about having to try to learn. And then he bitches about how dumb it is to shoot at squirrels as if being able to hit a squirrel wouldn’t make hitting a much larger thing, like a man who is shooting back at you, that much easier. And also, how the fuck does he think they get meat to eat? Shooting it, you twatwaffle.

And he’s like so fucking butthurt about being left behind. Like no shit, asshat. You’re bad at being in the past and have made no real effort and you whine a lot and are generally the worst. Of *course* you were left behind. Stop being emo about it and maybe actually try.

“He doesn’t respect me, Bree.” Yeah, no shit. Because you’ve done LITERALLY NOTHING to earn his respect. WHY ARE YOU SO TERRIBLE IT’S LIKE THEY’RE INTENTIONALLY TRYING TO MAKE HIM SUCK.

He also is like butthurt that his wife is a better shot than him when she gets the turkey he misses. How the fuck are we supposed to ship this. Ugh.

#BreeDeservesBetter

Oh Bree, sweetie, Jem won’t get hit by a car, but there are like eleventy million ways to die in the past. Just stick with the “you want to stay with your family” stuff.

Roger clearly doesn’t want to stay and is gonna pull a Fred and make Bree feel bad about wanting to all season, isn’t he. Fahkin’ doucherocket.

“I want to go but I’ll stay for you and look how magnanimous I am as I whine about it and make no effort to acclimate to the time.” Take your martyr card and shove it, Rog.

Shorter Jamie Fraser: “If you stand for nothing, Knox, what’ll you fall for?”

I’m already over Roger singing all the time tbh. Mostly because it reminds me that soon he won’t be able to do that anymore and we’re gonna be subjected to like half a season of him being more insufferable than he already is.

Wait, was Joan already born last episode? Or was there another time jump? Is Marsali preggers with baby #3? I lost track.

I love this scene between Claire and Marsali with my whole heart. Marsali especially.

CAN WE PLEASE JUST HAVE A WHOLE SHOW OF THESE TWO BEING ALL BADASS AND DOCTORY TOGETHER!?

Although, quick question, how fucking long is Claire planning to keep that un-embalmed body lying around in an un-refrigerated surgery/root cellar? Just curious...

Because you know someone’s gonna find it eventually and that’s gonna be a whole to do and I really need to stop being preemptively annoyed at plot lines that haven’t actually happened yet.

And with all this talk of plowshares and swords, I really am going to be singing Les Mis for days...

How long have these biddies been living on the Ridge? The fucking Leoch folks spent like a minute with Claire before they were like yep, she knows what’s up. These folks have apparently been here for months and are like loool, pass. They live in the fucking woods. You’d think they’d be more open to Claire’s brand of medicine.

Omg are they like the accidental antivaxxers of the Ridge?

#VaccinateYourFuckingKids

I mean, Bree, I think there’s some difference between Claire pretending to be a dude doc and telling folks to wash their hands and Otter Tooth.

Season 2 Claire and Otter Tooth on the other hand...

Ok so Jamie needs more men so that means next week is AHS: Beardsley Farm and then maybe (hopefully) instead of being like lol jk you can all go home, it actually goes right into the battle thing. Still not sure if they’re gonna do Roger getting hanged as the mid-season big thingy and then do the Bonnet nonsense in the back half or keep trying to do both of those at once.

Hey, Roger, pro-tip, next time you see Morag MacKenzie, maybe don’t fuCKING MAKE OUT WITH HER YOU FUCKING DUMBASS.

Claire’s totally right about how they should go back. Honestly, they should. But instead of talking with her like Claire is now with Roger, he’s just being all moody about how he’s bad at the past and wants to go back. You’re shooting yourself in the foot, broski.

Oh hey Husband the Quaker. And is that a fellow Quaker named Hunter with him? Are we gonna get Denny and Rachel this season?! Please and thank you that’d be great, I love them.

Murtz talking to his squad is full on Enjolras being like don’t worry fam, Marius will stand and fight with us. His place is there, he’ll fight with you.

The two very different but very similar ways Murtz and Jamie approach being Laird of their squads is fun to explore.

Bree lecturing Claire about changing the future by saving a few backwater hicks like Claire didn’t spend years trying to fucking change all of Scottish history is a bit rich. Like writers, we get it, you’re trying to be like oh snap, wait for the consequences of this bread!science! But like come the fuck on. We sat through all of season two.

“You’re a good dad, you know that?” Oh man, I’m getting that déjà vu about a shitty man getting kudos for being a good dad to a kid as if that negates all of his shittiness.

Oh hey, Bonnet’s back. Clearly we couldn’t have just let him die last season. Gotta drag shit on for longer than it has to. This is the [Outlander] Way.

If they were gonna keep him around as a villain, they shouldn’t have (in addition to all the other reasons) included him raping Bree. Jamie, Murtagh and Bonnet all making choices within and outside of the law to various degrees in order to make their living in the Colonies would be a really interesting contrast. But nope, gotta just go all in. BeCaUsE tHe BoOk.

Also I hate with the passion of a thousand fiery suns the Jemmy’s paternity stuff. Le sigh.

Remember in season one when the show was about Claire and she was in episodes for longer than 10 minutes?

I miss Claire.

[osakaso5]

Spirit Kaleidoscope: Empty Absolution

Chapter 8 - Kamaitachi's Wound

Chapter Index

Hikagemachi's Main Street

Yokai: The assailant has to be a katanashu! All of the people who were attacked had sword wounds!

Yokai: They seem to have attacked a lot of people in just one night... And by sneaking up behind them, too..!

Yokai: I can't believe we let those lowly humans into our city. Get the katanashu out of here now!

Yokai: Tie them up and beat them!

Momiji: ...What a crowd. When we got called here, I wasn't expecting to be faced with a crime investigation...

Momiji: Is violence like this common in Hikagemachi..?

Kasane: No freakin' way. I got transferred here ages ago, and this is the first real happening we've had.

Kasane: Apparently some yokai found Kamaitachi over there passed out on the street.

Momiji: I see...

Momiji: ...Kamaitachi... How is your wound?

Kamaitachi: ........ I'm fine. It wasn't enough to hurt someone like me. Especially since my medicine works so well.

Momiji: I see...

Kyubi-no-Kitsune: Now, katanashu. Explain this in a way we can all understand.

Kyubi-no-Kitsune: Why does Kamaitachi have a blade wound on his back?

Kyubi-no-Kitsune: That's a bit of a tough place to cut yourself on accident.

Kyubi-no-Kitsune: It's almost... Like he was attacked by someone wielding a sword, no?

Yokai: Exactly! We'll give you a taste of your own medicine!

Yokai: One, two, three... Six humans. We can easily take them on!

The Yokai: Aaaaahh..!

Kasane: Whoa... They're gettin' real heated. Yokai sure have lots of energy in the mornin'.

Aoi: Don't talk like this has nothing to do with you... Do you realize that they're subjecting us to a kangaroo court?

Kasane: Ahaha. Guess so. Let's hope that they'll settle for runnin' us out of here.

Aoi: ...I've had enough of you.

Madoka: Ugh... Why did I have to get dragged into this..?

Madoka: Besides, I heard all the victims' injuries were flesh wounds at most. Can we chill a little?

Aoi: And they were easily healed with Kamaitachi's medicine.

Uta: Ah, Kamaitachi! I'm so glad you're okay!

Uta: I can't believe something like this would happen to my fellow Kuzunoha regular... It's shocking...

Onibi: Stay away from Kamaitachi!

Uta: Huh!? Onibi..?

Onibi: ...Kamaitachi might've gotten attacked by you humans, right? That means you're a suspect too, Uta!

Onibi: If... If the culprit really is human, then...

Uta: ...Then?

Onibi: I won't be satisfied until prank you back..!

Uta: ...What? What do you mean, "prank"?

Onibi: It's really annoying that yokai got pranked by humans! Our dignity is on the line here..!

Onibi: And you got Kamaitachi of all people from behind!?

Kamaitachi: Ugh...

Onibi: I can't take it... It's so embarrassing that my flames are fizzing out!

Kamaitachi: ...Ugh...

Uta: ...G-give us a break, will you? Anyway, is being attacked from behind on the same level as a prank to you yokai..?

Onibi: In any case! We're not talking to any humans until we find whoever did this. Right, Kamaitachi!?

Kamaitachi: ...Y-yeah. Once I find them, I'll...

Uta: So, should you be talking to me right now?

Onibi: ...Ah!?

Momiji: ...Kamaitachi. Did you not see the culprit's face?

Kamaitachi: ........ ...No... They got me from behind, remember..?

Momiji: ...I see.

Kamaitachi: ...Y-yeah...

Momiji: ......?

Hanabusa: ...Good grief. I don't want any part in this farce.

Kyubi-no-Kitsune: ...Oh?

Hanabusa: The katanashu have no reason to assault yokai. This must be the result of some feud between your people. Don't waste our time by getting us involved.

Yokai: Who does this guy think he is..!? You did this!

Yokai: Confess your crime! There's no point in trying to hide it!

Kyubi-no-Kitsune: ...Mr. Katanashu Leader. I'm afraid I can't just accept that explanation and move on. One of my regular customers has been attacked.

Hanabusa: So what? That has nothing to do with us.

Kyubi-no-Kitsune: What a slow-witted boy you are. What I'm asking for is proof you weren't involved. If you don't have evidence, then you might as well start packing for your trip home.

Hanabusa: ...Then I'll go home on my own accord. I have no obligation to humor you yokai any more than this.

Kyubi-no-Kitsune: Fufu. Sure, go ahead.

Kasane: Now, now. Calm down,  both of ya. Ya don't really think it's  a good idea to cave under a few accusations, do ya, Hanabusa-han?

Kasane: Worst case scenario, and we'll really get chased outta here. They'll probably write up a report about how badly our commanding officer messed up. ...Who do ya think this'll hurt most?

Hanabusa: ...What of it? It has nothing to do with you.

Kasane: Haha. Guess so. Pardon me.

Uta: If that really does happen, it'll be considered a really bad mismanagement of Hikagemachi's Grand Gate.

Aoi: We'll get to return to military service in the capital. I think it's much better than being a katanashu out here.

Uta: Ahaha. I guess that would be a godsend to you, Aoi. You're always itching to go back to the capital.

Momiji: The capital...

Momiji: I can't be sent back for misconduct... I have something important to achieve.

Momiji: ...Commander Hanabusa. I think Commander Kasane has a point.

Momiji: The yokai of Hikagemachi won't accept anything but proof of our innocence.

Momiji: And considering how riled up they are... Our safety is by no means  guaranteed. They have us outnumbered  in case a fight breaks out.

Hanabusa: ...That being said, this back and forth is getting us nowhere. Are you saying we should hold a trial for our innocence?

Momiji: Well...

Kyubi-no-Kitsune: I suppose you have a point. We're not making any progress here.

Onibi: ...I know! Can't we call those two now that we're in trouble!?

Momiji: ..."Those two"..?

Aoi: Come to think of it... I've heard that two powerful yokai come down from the Phantom Realm to solve Hikagemachi's disputes sometimes.

Kasane: Huh? So the head honchos are gonna come over and tell us "In a quarrel, both sides are to blame!" or somethin'?

Aoi: I wouldn't know.

Kyubi-no-Kitsune: They're not "head honchos" or anything. It's just that their spiritual power is much above ours.

Aoi: In other words, the yokai world is ruled by strength. You entrust your decisions to only the most powerful...

Madoka: Huh... So they're meatheads or something?

Yokai: Right! They'll know what to do!

Yokai: Hey! Someone run to the Phantom Realm to get Mizuchi and Karasutengu...

???: ...No need to come looking. I'm already here.

The Yokai: Mumble...

Onibi: Whoa! Karasutengu!? You popped out of nowhere... That really surprised me!

Karasutengu: Fufu. Doesn't my elusive nature make me cool? I couldn't miss out on a nice commotion.

Kyubi-no-Kitsune: Oh, my. You really do have ears everywhere. As one would expect of Hikagemachi's self-proclaimed informant.

Karasutengu: It's not just a proclamation. ...I have to say, it's been very long since we last had an incident on the level of these assaults. It makes my heart stir.

Uta: .......

Momiji: ...What's wrong, Uta? You're hiding behind me...

Uta: It's fine. Don't mind me.

Momiji: ...Easier said than done...

Karasutengu: Seeing as how this is such a big event for Hikagemachi, we'd better get a hold of everyone's beloved water god, Mizuchi.

The Yokai: Commotion..!

Yokai: Mizuchi!?

Yokai: He's coming here? ...Really!?

???: I haven't been a water god in ages. Just an arbiter. And it's not as if I could leave an incident like this be.

Yokai: It's him...

Yokai: Wow, it's really him..!

Mizuchi: I wish I didn't have to return here for something so somber. ...Kamaitachi, you must've been through a lot.

Kamaitachi: Yeah... But I'm fine now..!

Kamaitachi: I'll find whoever did this and make them pay. ...And then, I'll interrogate them for a motive..!

Mizuchi: I see. That's great. ...Hm? That's...

Small Yokai: Kasa...

Small Yokai: Kasakasa...

Small Yokai: Wawa... Kasa... Wawa..!

Small Yokai: ...Wawawaa~~~!!!

Madoka: Huh!? What's going on!? All those small yokai are pushing up against this Mizuchi guy!?

Aoi: T-there's so many of them... They're like an avalanche.

Mizuchi: Haha. Oh dear. ...Urp. Now, now. You shouldn't stick to my face... Urp.

Onibi: Oh boy... There's yokai leeching on Mizuchi again!

Kyubi-no-Kitsune: I know this happens every time, but it's still annoying to watch.

Momiji: T-this is a regular occurrence..?

Onibi: Yep. Everyone loves Mizuchi because he's so strong. ...Oh no!

Onibi: I talked to a human again..!

Momiji: ...So you're serious about the not talking thing.

Kyubi-no-Kitsune: Getting into good graces with a strong yokai means you get to share a tiny bit of their power. They all want bodies.

Kyubi-no-Kitsune: That's one of the reasons Mizuchi won't come to the city often... Or can't, rather.

Kasane: ...Huh, interesting. I always knew this water god guy was popular around here, but not so much that he had to constantly avoid his horde of adorin' fans.

Kasane: This Mizuchi must be real special...

Aoi: ...It's probably for the best that we don't provoke him in any way... He isn't someone we can go against.

Kasane: Gotta be careful.

Karasutengu: Tsk. They're all crawling out... How irritating. This is getting in the way of our conversation.

Karasutengu: Hey, all of you! If you keep making mischief, I'll blow you away with my fan.

The Small Yokai: Wawa..!?

Mizuchi: ...I'm sorry, everyone. I can't keep you company today. I'll bring you a souvenir from the Phantom Realm next time.

The Small Yokai: ...Wawa... .......

Onibi: Ah. They let him go.

Momiji: They look really sad for creatures that don't even have bodies...

Karasutengu: You're such a goody two shoes, Mizuchi. There wasn't any need to talk them into leaving when you could've simply thrown them off you with the flick of a finger.

Mizuchi: ...You're too quick to anger. If you'd used your fan, who knows where they would've flown...

Hanabusa: Sorry to interrupt, but you two are the arbiters, right?

Mizuchi: Yeah. That's right. I'm sorry that we got sidetracked.

Hanabusa: Did you come all the way down here to give us a cheap play? If you're here to solve things, then put an end to all this foolish noise right now.

Karasutengu: ....... All of a sudden, I don't feel like doing that. I wonder why.

Mizuchi: Haha... He does have a point. We won't gain anything from this uproar, either.

Mizuchi: In any case, I can't just accept the human explanation to these events. Nor the yokai one.

Kyubi-no-Kitsune: ...Excuse me? They had sword wounds. What reason would anyone but the katanashu have to use those things?

Aoi: You're falsely accusing us. A yokai can use a sword too, can't they?

Hanabusa: Hmph. At least this yokai understands reason. My take is that this could easily have been staged by the yokai.

Onibi: Huh!? We wouldn't do that. Burning someone with fire is way cooler!

Kamaitachi: My sickles are cool, too!

Mizuchi: I'm sure both sides have a reason to believe what they do. But right now, it's all speculation.  We can't judge who's right with  no evidence.

Madoka: Maybe these guys   aren't muscleheads..? Phew...

Kyubi-no-Kitsune: Then what do you suggest we do, Mr. Water God? We have to reach some conclusion.

Yokai: That's right..! We're not going to overlook their crimes even if you tell us to, Mizuchi!

Yokai: What about the assaults!? We must drive out the culprit..!

Kyubi-no-Kitsune: Look. Everyone's getting fired up.

Karasutengu: Don't worry.   We've got a solution in mind. Something you'll all enjoy.

Karasutengu: This argument is running in circles because none of you have evidence. ...So why not solve this the Hikagemachi way?

Kamaitachi: You mean..?

Karasutengu: We'll set up a best of five match between yokai and katanashu. Whoever wins will be declared to have been correct!

Commotion...

Yokai: A best of five match..!?

Karasutengu: If the katanashu win, they're innocent. The yokai must leave them be! But if the yokai win, the katanashu are guilty.

Karasutengu: While I'd love to let you do whatever you want with them in that case... We have an agreement with the human realm. So, can we just agree to exile them from here forever?

Yokai: Wait... That's...

Yokai: ...A great idea..!

Yokai: Uooooohh..!

Momiji: A best of five match..? We're going to battle yokai..?

Onibi: You mean a festival, right!? It's a festival, right!?

Madoka: Ugh... I knew they were muscleheads...

Kasane: Hoo boy. Innocent if we win... This is a real mess we've gotten ourselves in.

Hanabusa: ...Wait! We never said we agree to this tournament. What point is there in doing this?

Hanabusa: Investigating the crime scenes for evidence of the real culprit would be much more...

Yokai: A tournament...! ...A festival..!

Yokai: This is getting exciting!

Yokai: Uoooh..!

Aoi: ...It doesn't seem like they're going to listen. Tsk... This is why I don't like yokai...

Hanabusa: What is this frenzy they've gone into..?

Kasane: Doesn't this mean that we gotta accept? It looks like they'll turn us into mince if we try to refuse.

Yokai: Uooooh....!

Hanabusa: ........

Momiji: ...Commander Hanabusa.

Kyubi-no-Kitsune: Give up, Mr. Leader. Human reasoning doesn't work around these parts. This is how we do things in Hikagemachi.

Kyubi-no-Kitsune: Would you rather run back to the human world with your tail between your legs? ...Oh, I forgot. You humans don't even have beautiful tails like me. What a pity.

Hanabusa: ...Don't wag yours just yet. I'm not going to be provoked by your cheap insults. ...However...

Hanabusa: ...Very well. The katanashu accept your challenge. It doesn't look like we can settle this any other way.

Yokai: Uaaaagh...!

Madoka: What..!? Not you too, Commander Hanabusa... You can't be serious!

Kasane: Keep it together, Madoka. There's nothing we can do.

Madoka: But..!   ...Sigh. I understand.

Aoi: ........

Karasutengu: Fufufu. It's settled! We'll hold a fun festival for this tournament!

Karasutengu: Now all we need is participants...

Mizuchi: I'll serve as the captain of the yokai side.

Yokai: Huh..! Mizuchi's the captain..?

Yokai: That means we'll get to see him fight..!

Kyubi-no-Kitsune: Oh, now this is unusual. You don't normally get personally involved in these disputes, Mizuchi.

Mizuchi: I'm here as an arbiter. I can't leave everything up to the rest of you, now can I?

Kyubi-no-Kitsune: That's very gracious of you.

Karasutengu: Nice. This is getting interesting! As for the rest of the yokai team... Kyubi-no-Kitsune, Onibi... and Kamaitachi should do.

Kamaitachi: .......!

Onibi: I can participate, too!? Awesome..! And Kyubi-no-Kitsune will, too!

Kyubi-no-Kitsune: Just this once. I want revenge on whoever cut down my apprentice. I'm very emotional despite my looks, you see.

Kamaitachi: I told you, I'm not your apprentice...

Onibi: Karasutengu! Who's gonna be our last member?

Karasutengu: Hmm. I wonder... I can't fill that role, since we need a referee... Oh..!

Momiji: .......?

Momiji: ...What? He looked my way..?

Karasutengu: ...Alright. I've decided. The last fighter will be Ungaikyo.

Momiji: .......!

Mizuchi: ...Ungaikyo? He's not even here...

Mizuchi: ...Ah, I see. Our opponents are katanashu. There's nobody better suited for fighting them than him.

Momiji: ....... What does that mean..?

Karasutengu: Well then. We  have a full yokai team. I'll leave the katanashu contestants up to you. We'll decide who fights who when all of us are present.

Karasutengu: The tournament is in three days. At noon sharp. Come to the forest plaza.

Mizuchi: This was all decided very suddenly, but let's keep things fair on both sides.

The Yokai: Aaaaahh...!

Momiji: Ungaikyo... I'll see that yokai again... Maybe then I'll understand...

Momiji: ...Why I've been feeling so uneasy ever since I met him at the maple tree...

Commotion...

Yokai: This is getting to be a big deal! A tournament..!

Yokai: I wanted to participate, too...

Yokai: Haha! You wouldn't stand a chance.

Yokai: What didja say!?

Sana: .......

Sana: A tournament... Ungaikyo will have to go fight in the city..!

Forest on the Outskirts of Town

Azuma: ...Hmm...

Hokuto: What's wrong, Azuma? Why are you lining up all your spice jars here in the forest?

Azuma: I'm thinking up a new mix. The current one is too strong, maybe because of all the pepper...

Hokuto: ...Hey. We're here to find Ungaikyo. Have you forgotten our real objective?

Azuma: Of course not. But if we can't see the guy, then there's nothing we can do.

Azuma: In any case, here. Can you taste test this?

Hokuto: "In any case", you say... I suppose I'll try it... Whoa! The lid..!

Azuma: Ah! Crap. The mix is everywhere...

Hokuto: ......! Hah... hah... tchu!

Azuma: ...Wahaha! Despite your big size, you've got the cutest sneeze! ...Ha, ha, hatchoo!

Hokuto: You're sneezing, too! ...Tchu!

Sana: Huff, huff... Ah! Finally..! I've been looking for you..!

Azuma: Oh! Sana, you're here at just the right time. It would seem that Hokuto has a cute way of sneezing...

Hokuto: Hey, don't tell him!

Sana: I don't care about sneezes! What about the kaleidoscope..? ...Dont' tell me, the two of you have only been fooling around?

Azuma & Hokuto: Sorry...

Sana: You're hopeless... At least I managed to find information on Ungaikyo's whereabouts.

Hokuto: You did!?

Azuma: Well done, Sana. Let's hear it.

Sana: Yes! The thing is...

- - - -

Azuma: ...I see. A tournament between the yokai and the katanashu...

Hokuto: Hmm, it'll be interesting to see who wins.

Sana: The streets should be swarming with people during the tournament. We could use that to our advantage...

Azuma: Great idea. That Ungaikyo is an elusive fellow, but he won't be able to hide during the tournament.

Sana: ...Right! Let's get planning right away...

Hokuto: Hold on. The crowd can be a good asset, but our actions will be limited by it.

Sana: Well... What should we do, then..?

Hokuto: Heh, leave it to me. I've got the perfect idea. ...I'm going to bet on that tournament!

Azuma & Sana: Huh!?

Azuma: Are you joking?

Sana: He has to be!

Hokuto: I'm completely serious. If I participate in the tournament as a showman, I'll be able to come and go around the venue as I please.

Hokuto: It should be much easier than trying to chase down Ungaikyo from the audience.

Sana: Now that you mention it..!

Hokuto: I'll manage the whole thing, and get a bookie from the gambling dens to be my middle man. ...Don't you think it's a genius plan?

Sana: It's gambling...

Azuma: But not a bad idea. So you'll draw all the attention, and we  work in the shadows? 

Azuma: It's the hidden flavors that make a dish pop. Not to mention dogs are clever beasts with a knack for staying hidden.

Hokuto: As long as we can get into the venue, we should have the opportunity to steal the kaleidoscope. It's a much better plan whan wandering around the woods aimlessly.

Hokuto: Not to mention I get to make a profit.

Azuma: In any case, we have ourselves a plan. ...And we won't get a chance like this again. We have to snatch the kaleidoscope in three days.

Sana: ...Yes. For Shisei-san...

Hokuto: Yeah.

Small Yokai: .......

Small Yokai: Kasakasa... Kasa...

To be continued...

[stevenuniversallyreviews]

Episode 121: Rocknaldo

“I don't love that. I don't accept that.”

Ronaldo Fryman has always been annoying.

From his first speaking role in Cat Fingers, and his first starring role in Keep Beach City Weird, this has been obvious. He’s selfish and insensitive, dominating every conversation he’s a part of and refusing to respect viewpoints that differ from his. He works well in small doses, where his grating nature can be properly diluted, so it’s understandable that an entire episode of Ronaldo at peak Ronaldo is not a widely beloved entry in the Steven Universe canon. But even though I can’t stand watching Rocknaldo, I actually, uh, kind of love it.

That’s a hard “uh, kind of” though. It’s tough to separate my emotions about this one, because I respect such an incredible portrayal of toxic fandom, but I hate toxic fandom so much that I don’t enjoy spending time with it, even as parody. This isn’t an episode I’m ever in the mood for, but it’s just so good at what it’s doing that I can’t stay mad at it.

Ronaldo’s propaganda is first played for laughs, with Steven’s bewilderment at what he’s reading (“They’re adding mind-controlling minerals to our water suppl—they hate men?”) and the vaudevillian back and forth of Ronaldo’s Rock People talking points and Steven’s quick and absolute dismissals. Ronaldo’s embarrassment is a bit of a surprise considering he’s never seemed capable of such a sensation, and his willingness to admit he’s wrong seems like a good sign, but oh boy does that attitude not last.

The mindset that led Ronaldo to make his bad faith arguments in pamphlet form (which he calls Ronalphlets because heaven forbid we get the idea that it’s not about him) persists, and it’s so much worse in conversation than as printed media. It’s not enough that he impedes on Steven’s personal space, but he checks off multiple key items on the Pathetic Internet Troll I Find Useless List (or “PITIFUL” if we’re using proper jargon). He’s casually sexist. He negs Steven into accepting his intrusions. He gatekeeps the concept of being a “true” Crystal Gem, which is lousy in a bubble but so much worse in practice because he’s doing it to an actual Crystal Gem. He gaslights by stating his incorrect views as obvious facts, complete with his own lingo, to make Steven question his own validity. And perhaps worst of all, he takes advantage of Steven’s empathetic nature to pretend that a tolerant person must accept abuse.

On the one hand, Ronaldo’s extreme behavior can be chalked up to severe sleep loss; that’s certainly the angle the episode goes for. But on the other, his toxicity begins well before he decides to stop sleeping, and as someone whose record for consecutive waking hours is an inadvisable thirty-six, fatigue will make you cranky, but it won’t make you more conniving. In cartoon world it’s a clean device to up Ronaldo’s awfulness in a way we can walk back from, but ugh he’s still a trashfire. Zach Callison always deserves kudos, and Rocknaldo is no exception, but Zachary Steel wins out here for capturing such a loathsome version of his character.

A key ingredient for Rocknaldo is timing. Steven just had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day, and this is our first glimpse at how it’s changed him, so what better way to test our all-loving hero than to pit him against a black hole of selfishness? He’s grown a lot since Keep Beach City Weird in a way Ronaldo hasn’t, and while his instinct is still kindness, now there’s a welcome dose of teen moodiness mixed in. 

It takes a while for Steven to realize it’s a grift, but beyond this slowness being a necessity for the conflict of the episode to work, it makes sense for where he’s at this point in the show. Again, kindness is an instinct for this kid, and even when Ronaldo starts getting infuriating, we’ve seen Steven be patient with him before. He’s also got that martyr complex revved up: this isn’t the first or last time he’s been willing to suffer to make someone else comfortable. He knows how much it sucks to be called the wrong name by now, so he’s the only person who consistently calls Ronaldo “Bloodstone.” And considering Rose Quartz wasn’t what he thought, he now feels that he must double his efforts to be his best self to compensate.

Also important is Steven’s willingness to defend his friends from the start, calling the term “Rock People” offensive and defending the Gems’ decision to leave Ronaldo behind on a dangerous mission. He can take Ronaldo’s lousiness all day, but finally snaps when Connie’s worthiness is insulted. It’s sweet that he sticks up for people, but it’s a bummer that he probably would’ve put up with Ronaldo even longer if the only one suffering was himself. Steven would do anything for his friends, but he’s not doing much for Steven.

This is why Ronaldo is the ideal antagonist for an episode coming off Steven’s space adventure. Steven’s selflessness contrasts perfectly with Ronaldo’s selfishness, but instead of a story about selflessness being good and selfishness being bad, we see how selflessness isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Yes, it’s good to care about others, but it’s also important to have boundaries and enough self-respect to defend yourself; this isn’t even the first time we’ve gotten this message, but it bears repeating. There’s are limits to tolerance that trolls will always exploit (“White Nationalists aren’t welcome here? So much for the ‘Tolerant Left!’”), and on a show about empathy we need for Steven (and the audience) to see that empathy doesn’t mean being a doormat.

Steven’s patience fuels the episode, but the wheels are greased by the Amethyst and Pearl’s disdain. It’s a minor part of Rocknaldo, but I’m not sure I could survive how grating Ronaldo is without some backup from the Gems.

Garnet may lead a slow clap at Steven’s rousing speech on the nature of acceptance, but Amethyst is happy to crack jokes at Ronaldo’s self-seriousness, down to that perfect impression near the end of the episode. Meanwhile, Pearl openly hates the guy. We don’t even get Sassy Pearl (perhaps the greatest Pearl of all), she’s just bluntly dismissive as a refreshing antidote to Steven’s hospitality. She doesn’t bother to remember his ridiculous new name because she refuses to humor the notion that he’s a Gem, and it totally works for me; misnaming is played for drama when Steven is concerned, as befits the trans allegory that comes to a head in Change Your Mind, but Ronaldo is a human belittling Steven’s identity by pretending he shares it, so “Bloodstone” isn’t worth getting right to her (it helps that “Fryrocko” is also a delightful thing to call somebody). This jokey take on names works in the moment, but more importantly primes us for a more serious take in our last scene.

The final conversation, after a rare time jump, does salvage Ronaldo somewhat. He apologizes and admits he was acting like a jerk, and remains dedicated to helping the Crystal Gems in his own weird way. But the root of his problem isn’t gonna up and go away, and that root, again, is selfishness. He doesn’t fit in because he would rather the world adjust to meet his whims than take a single step towards self-improvement, so he chooses to see himself as “the ultimate outsider.” I guess it’s nice to find a positive spin on qualities you’re not great at, but it reeks of self-importance in a way that’s true to the character but is still frustrating to watch. Ronaldo is very good at being who he is, but I just don’t have much patience for intentionally annoying characters.

Still, we get that lovely moment of Steven talking about his name; it’s not a big revelation that folks only call him Rose Quartz when they’re mad at him, but verbalizing it shows that he’s aware of the pattern. The issue of his name will pop up more and more, becoming a cornerstone of both the Season 4 and Season 5 finales, so it’s nice to discuss it in a calm moment so we can keep Steven’s opinion in the back of our minds when things get messy. Ronaldo, to his credit, asks permission before sharing this story on his pamphlet, and evokes fellow emotionally-challenged antagonist Zuko in his attempt at solidarity. (Fun fact: in no other way is Ronaldo similar to Zuko.)

Moving from Zuko to Zuke: I don’t know where Rocknaldo’s production lined up on the timeline of the Steven Universe fandom's worst elements harassing Jesse Zuke, but I hope Zuke got some level of catharsis in portraying such “fans” in this pathetic manner. Speaking as a guy with a blog, calling Ronaldo “just a guy with a blog” is perfect putdown for a loser that makes himself feel big by pretending to know how to run a ship better than the captain. Imagine if I spent every post saying how much better of a storyteller I am than this crew. Ugh.

Fandoms can do great things, but man are they pros at doing horrible things. During the week that I wrote this review, a 15-year-old Super Smash Bros player got yelled off the internet for beating an established player in an incredible fashion, because while the community adores a young upstart, they can’t stand when that upstart is a girl. And no, I’m not saying the entire fandom did it, just as the entire Steven Universe fandom didn’t target one of the show’s best boarders (note that this article was written when Zuke still went by Lauren), but there are more than enough Ronaldos in every community, and it’s up to people who comprehend the basic tenets of empathy provided by a show they claim to love to stand up to such bullies.

If you don’t like Rocknaldo, that’s just fine. Because you shouldn’t like how Ronaldo acts in it. Liking something doesn’t give you the right to harass people, so do your part in shutting that nonsense down. 

I’ve never been to this…how do you say…school?

Just give us an episode with Peridot, Yellow Pearl, Peedee, and Ronaldo trapped in a room already.

We’re the one, we’re the ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!

I hate watching this episode, but that doesn’t mean I hate the episode. It does its job very well, which is worthy of admiration even if I’m probably never going to watch it again now that this review is done.

Top Twenty

Steven and the Stevens

Hit the Diamond

Mirror Gem

Lion 3: Straight to Video

Alone Together

Last One Out of Beach City

The Return

Jailbreak

The Answer

Mindful Education

Sworn to the Sword

Rose’s Scabbard

Earthlings

Mr. Greg

Coach Steven

Giant Woman

Beach City Drift

Winter Forecast

Bismuth

Steven’s Dream

Love ‘em

Laser Light Cannon

Bubble Buddies

Tiger Millionaire

Lion 2: The Movie

Rose’s Room

An Indirect Kiss

Ocean Gem

Space Race

Garnet’s Universe

Warp Tour

The Test

Future Vision

On the Run

Maximum Capacity

Marble Madness

Political Power

Full Disclosure

Joy Ride

Keeping It Together

We Need to Talk

Chille Tid

Cry for Help

Keystone Motel

Catch and Release

When It Rains

Back to the Barn

Steven’s Birthday

It Could’ve Been Great

Message Received

Log Date 7 15 2

Same Old World

The New Lars

Monster Reunion

Alone at Sea

Crack the Whip

Beta

Back to the Moon

Kindergarten Kid

Buddy’s Book

Gem Harvest

Three Gems and a Baby

That Will Be All

The New Crystal Gems

Storm in the Room

Like ‘em

Gem Glow

Frybo

Arcade Mania

So Many Birthdays

Lars and the Cool Kids

Onion Trade

Steven the Sword Fighter

Beach Party

Monster Buddies

Keep Beach City Weird

Watermelon Steven

The Message

Open Book

Story for Steven

Shirt Club

Love Letters

Reformed

Rising Tides, Crashing Tides

Onion Friend

Historical Friction

Friend Ship

Nightmare Hospital

Too Far

Barn Mates

Steven Floats

Drop Beat Dad

Too Short to Ride

Restaurant Wars

Kiki’s Pizza Delivery Service

Greg the Babysitter

Gem Hunt

Steven vs. Amethyst

Bubbled

Adventures in Light Distortion

Gem Heist

The Zoo

Rocknaldo

Enh

Cheeseburger Backpack

Together Breakfast

Cat Fingers

Serious Steven

Steven’s Lion

Joking Victim

Secret Team

Say Uncle

Super Watermelon Island

Gem Drill

Know Your Fusion

Future Boy Zoltron

No Thanks!

     6. Horror Club      5. Fusion Cuisine      4. House Guest      3. Onion Gang      2. Sadie’s Song      1. Island Adventure

[lazulifoster]

An Unexpected Visitor (Loki X Reader)

Prompt: It Was Always You by Maroon 5 and All I Wanted by Paramore

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Warnings: Swearing; angst; arguing; childbirth; mild sexual content

Word Count: 2.5k+

A/N: Just an idea I came up with listening to my Spotify playlist lol If y'all want me to continue story let me know. First time writing something with kissing or whatever so forgive me if it’s rubbish. Also, didn’t proofread too much either, I got excited so I just wrote :)

Brief Summary: Loki and you dated back in college before he up and vanished. You have moved on with your life, even started a family, but an unexpected visitor makes his way back into your life.

Part 2

*************************

“I think the steak was slightly overcooked but other than that I thought everything was pretty good, what about you?”

I looked out the window while David spoke, lost in thought, pretending to listen to his mediocre attempt at conversation.

“Hmm? Oh yeah, food was great.”

This had been the first time we had been together alone in any capacity for a long time. About 3 years ago, we got the biggest surprise of our lives, we were pregnant. Well, I was the one that carried the baby for 40+ weeks, vomited most of that time, and went into labor and pushed an 8-pound baby out of my body. But people still like to say “we.” Sure. 

When our daughter, Rachel was born, she was the most beautiful, unexpected gift the both of us could receive. Although neither of us was completely ready for a baby, David and I both knew we’d do anything to support her. We both took up more hours at our jobs, and my mother quit hers to take care of Rachel while we both worked. Everything ran pretty smoothly for about 6 months. After that, things started to change between the both of us. I wanted to settle down. We had the components of a perfect family in my eyes, all we needed was to make it “official.”

David did not feel the same way and started to grow distant because of this. It all increased to a head one night. David and I had frequently been arguing because of all the stress with working so many hours and having a new baby in the house. I completely understood that keeping the baby wouldn’t exactly be easy, but I expected my and David’s relationship to still stay strong because we loved each other. Although David was a wonderful father to Rachel, he was no longer acting like a boyfriend to me. I tried asking him what was wrong on so many occasions which David would brush off to “being tired.” I would usually let it go, but not tonight. Tonight I was done. After I picked up Rachel from my parent’s house, I waited for David to come home so we could pinpoint what the problem was. As soon as David walked in the door, I started talking.

“David, what’s going on between us?” David didn’t look up from his phone while he walked in the door. “Babe, I’m just tired.”

Hearing his robotic response caused my nostrils to flare and to inhale a giant breath.

“You’re not FUCKING tired, David! Tell me what the fuck is going on, NOW!”

My outburst yanked David’s gaze from his phone to look directly at me.

“Geez Y/N you’re gonna wake the baby!”

“I’ll wake her if I need to figure out what is going on between us! David! You hardly look at me anymore. You barely talk to me, god knows when the last time you fucked me, just TELL me what’s going on!”

David slightly tilted his head, seemingly trying to understand why I had gone off on him. After a few awkward moments, he placed his phone, wallet, and coat on the coffee table and approached me.

“Y/N…”

“Is it because I want to get married?” I blurted out

Immediately, David’s demeanor changed from mildly annoyed and concerned to full fledged anger. He wrinkled his nose and scoffed.

“I’m not doing this right now, I’m exhausted, and the first thing I have to hear when I get home is you bitching at me?!” He shoved me slightly to get past me to grab a beer from the fridge. I wasn’t yielding, and I pressed on,

“Yeah, I’m ‘bitching’ at you because that seems to be the only way I can get you to talk to me! All I want to know what's going on between us, is that a bad thing?”

“It is when it interferes with my after-work beer.”

At that point, I had it. Uncharacteristically, I yanked David's beer from his hand and held it away from him “Well now you don’t have a beer, so tell me what's wrong!”

My actions caused David to rise from his chair and storm towards me. I was ready for anything at this point. I knew my actions were petty and stupid, but I was so enraged with him that I was hardly in my right mind to deal with this maturely. David was barely a couple of inches in front of me, yanked my bicep so forcefully I knew it was going to bruise then he screamed, “You only want to get married because your fucking ex didn’t want to, and I’m in no way marrying some fucking reject leftovers!” He then grabbed the beer back and sat back down in his chair.

The rage I felt immediately changed into dejection. I thought our relationship was not in the best shape, but I had no idea David felt such vitriol toward me and my desire to settle down.

That was the end for me, I quickly grabbed Rachel and her diaper bag and a couple of things I needed, and I drove to my parent's house. Swallowing my pride and telling them what happened between David and me was one of the hardest things I’ve had to do so far other than giving birth to Rachel. My parents weren’t David’s biggest fans but "played nice" because they didn’t want to taint Rachel’s feelings against her father. Surprisingly, my parents didn’t criticize me or remind me they “told me so.” Instead, Mom grabbed Rachel, and dad made up the spare room for me to stay.

After several hours, I received a text from David Hey can we talk? Sorry about what happened, just tired. Miss you.

I laughed when I saw the text. Slightly delirious from exhaustion and crying, I replied, Kiss my ass. You and I are DONE. I turned my phone off, tossed it to the side and continued my crying.

*****************

That was a year ago. Now, here I was, on a “date” with David that surprisingly went well. He had invited me out for coffee to discuss daycare and preschool options for Rachel. Even though she was barely almost two years old, we both knew planning ahead was much easier than waiting for the last minute when it comes to toddler stuff.

Coffee had surprisingly been pleasant. David and I hadn’t talked much in general, especially about that one night, for a year; so I was surprised we had such a great time drinking coffee discussing our daughter’s future.

“Hey, I’m getting hungry, want to get something to eat?” David smiled

“Sure, I’d like to.”

Dinner went as well as coffee, except David briefly brought up that night. While we were enjoying our appetizers at the steakhouse he chose, he reached for my hand, and gently squeezed it. “I’m really sorry for what I said, Y/N. I was being stupid and wanted to hurt you because you took away my beer.” This caused us to both to chuckle.

“I’m really sorry about that by the way, I was an idiot too, and that was completely uncalled for.”

“We both were fucking immature.”

I looked at David and smiled.

“Also,” he continued, “What I said, especially about you being…Leftovers, I didn’t mean it. I know your ex is a sore subject and I shouldn’t have said that and—”

“David, I forgive you, its fine.”

We both smiled at each other when what David said shocked me.

“I want to give us another shot. You don’t have to answer now, but I think we should try, at least for Rachel.”

I didn’t know what to say, but I gave him a polite nod and smiled and continued to eat my food.

*********************

And that brings us here. David driving me home to my parent's house where Rachel was being watched by my parents. I had told my parents I was going to coffee with David when both my mom and dad sighed.

“Do you really have to go on a date with this guy?”

“Dad, it's not a date, we’re going to talk about stuff for Rachel.”

“And you can't do that over the phone?”

I exhaled “Dad it's just easier, anyway, I’ll be back quick this shouldn't take long.”

“I liked it when that other boy came around, he was much better than this David fellow.”

“Dad…”

“I liked him too, Honey. His hair was a little long, and I think he wore too much black but he was such a nice boy, and he had such beautiful eyes.”

“MOM!” I rolled my eyes. “Can we please leave Loki out of this, he is the last person I need right now.”

And it was true. After Loki’s abrupt departure from my life, I had no desire to see him. We fell for each other hard during college, well at least I did. I assumed he did as well, but my assumption was proven false when he just up and left me. It was actually David who became my confidant. Before we started dating, he helped me get over Loki. Although I was over him, my parents apparently weren’t and would love to bring him up from time to time.

Pulling up to my parent's house, David and I noticed an extra car in the driveway. “Ugh, who’s car is that?” I asked annoyed. I motion to David to parallel park by the house. Once we both exit the car I try to inspect who’s car was blocking the driveway. All black Tesla with vanity plates reading: GDMSCF.

“Holy SHIT!”

I sprint toward the front door, leaving David behind, and quickly unlock the front door. The door swings open and I am left speechless with the scene I see before me.

Mom in the kitchen pulling something from the oven, Dad sitting on the couch scrolling through his phone, and Rachel playing with her toys on the floor, with none other than Loki. Hearing the door slam open, Dad looked up and smiled.

“Y/N, look who came by!” The excitement in my dad's voice was practically tangible. “Rachel loves him.”

“He said he was in the neighborhood and wanted to say hi to all of us,” Mom yelled from the kitchen.

Loki looked up at me and gave me a wicked grin.

“Hello darling, it is wonderful to see you again." I had forgotten over the years how devastatingly handsome he was. I became utterly tongue-tied. Loki, the man who left me without as much as a reason or note goodbye, was here, in my living room with my daughter. I didn’t know whether to play nice and greet him, slap him, or rip Rachel away from him.

“For goodness sake, Y/N, say hello to our guest.” Dad scolded.

“Uhhhh-um—hey Loki.” I finally greeted.

I had completely forgotten about David when he came behind me, causing to squeal.

“What's going on?” David asked, concerned by my running into the house.

“Loki is our guest and were having him over for dinner.” Mom said, stepping into the living room.

“Loki?” David questioned, “Isn’t that—”

“And old friend of Y/N? Yes indeed, pleasure to meet you, David, you have a lovely daughter.” Loki rose up from the floor to shake David’s hand. Although slightly confused, David shook his hand anyway and mumbled thank you to him.

I was still in utter shock. It was surreal seeing Loki in my parent's house again, like old times in college. Loki and I would come to my house to study for every  Literature class we took together. And by "study" I mean eat, recite poetry to each other, and make out. Whenever we had a literature class together, we always made an excuse for “study dates.” In truth, neither of us needed to study, we both excelled in those classes because we were both avid readers and lovers of literature. That's actually what initially brought us together, we would frequently see each other in the library reading books not pertaining to our other classes, or one of us would check out a book the other wanted to read. Finally, the accidental run-ins became so frequent Loki finally approached me.

“You have a book I want to borrow.” He stated matter-of-factly

“Oh yeah, which one would that be?”

“The poetry anthology.”

I looked down at my pile of books and saw the book he was referring to.

“You mean, E.E. Cumming’s Erotic Poems?” I let out a loud chuckle.

I assumed he would be flustered but he confidently grabbed the book from my pile lightly grabbed my arm, and leaned in and whispered, “Lady, I will touch you with my mind. Touch you and touch and touch until you give me suddenly a smile, shyly obscene…”

His voice was pure sin. Instantly, I was physically aroused from listening to his velvet baritone whisper in my ear. Almost knowing what he had done, Loki winked at me and left with the book.

******************

That was the first time I had met him, and all those memories came flooding back in my mind seeing Loki again.

“I’ll be right back, I think I left something in the car.” I weakly excused myself and dashed out the front door. I made it to the driveway when Loki appeared, leaving his illusion inside I assumed.

“Darling, it is so good to see you, you look absolutely astonishing.”

“Oh fuck off, you know that's a lie, I hardly look ‘astonishing’ since I had the baby.”

“Nonsense” Loki came closer to me, placing his palm on my cheek, “Motherhood suits you.”

I shoved his hand away. “Don’t patronize me.”

“Why so hostile, love? I’ve come to see you.”

“Well, you’re about hmmm… three years too late!” I began to tear up. “You left me Loki! Left me and just expected me to figure out what to do? Well, I got news for you, asshole, I’ve moved on, I have a daughter, and I am very happy.” 

Loki snickered. “Come now, Y/N, I think everyone knows that that's an absolute lie.” He tried to wipe my tears away, and I again shoved his hand away.

“Even if it is a lie, Loki, that is none of your business.” Ignoring me, Loki grabbed my face with both of his hands and stared into my eyes.

“You have the most gorgeous hazel eyes, little one.”

“For the millionth time Loki, my eyes are Y/E/C,” I said while trying to remove his hands from my face. “Just your lazy attempt to be charming but failing to pay attention to anything important.”

“Darling, you are so wonderfully verbal, but do shut up.”

Loki pulled me in closer and kissed me, deeply and passionately. At that moment, I quit resisting and kissed him back. It was a kiss that I will never forget. He pulled me in close and held me like I hadn’t been held since he disappeared. One hand gently pulled the hair on the nape of my neck while the other traveled down my back, and ultimately grabbed my ass, tightly.

“You have always been mine, Y/N, no matter what happens, no matter you or that pathetic mortal David thinks, you belong to me, and I belong to you.”

I pulled away, trying not to cry again, “Then why the fuck did you leave me?”

Loki pulled me in and embraced me, “There is a lot to explain love.”

I looked up at him, “Then you better start fucking explaining.”

[peachesforjae]

Neocity in Vancouver

Hey so I wanted to write a little “the vibe I got and what actually went down” for each of the boys from the vancity show! No one asked for this but my extra ass wants to do it anyways so enjoy!! Also it’s a given but all of this could be false so please don’t come for me.

TAEIL

this mans vocals oooooof i mean we been knew but hearing it live ?????? 10/10 confirmed that this man really has been blessed by an angelic voice. probably the most stable voice i’ve ever heard live

his singing voice and talking voice are the same irl, same with visuals (there was this one part were he was trying to be sexy and lemme tell u that my heart started beating faster and i started s w e a t i n g)

he didn’t talk much during the ments (i really wished he did, even if it was in korean) and i personally felt like he didn’t get as much cheers as the other boys (NCTZENS YOU COWARDS HOW DARE YOU 😤)

would sell my soul to have a mini taeil in my pocket. i can tell that he has the sweetest heart and is the most humble guy, he would be the greatest husband ever u can’t fight me on it

JOHNNY

looking for the embodiment of the word flirt?? well look no further. he is really out here thinking our lives are a joke acting like your typical boy next door crush saying all the things that make your heart MELT

he is a tol boi (even tho i was sitting far away I could still tell that he is a giant) he probably was a sequoia tree in his past life or something idk but he is mr.tall and big

i haven’t seen anyone talk about this but his voice was a higher pitch irl,,,,,, like the videos will never catch it but it’s not as deep and omg his little lisp is QT. singing/rapping voice (sm give him more lines u hoes) was the same and his visuals were ever better

he did a body roll at one point and everyone LOST IT (i for real started crying) he is so handsome and ugh every time he came on screen/talked he got the loudest cheers (next to mark) he is such a genuine and heartwarming person i wish he could just be my friend that’s all i want in life

TAEYONG

no surprises with this amazing person he really is THAT beautiful HIS EYES AND SMILE AND FACE I DIED and is a rap god. it was a little surreal seeing him standing there talking cuz like is he even real ???? was he actually a hologram ????? WHO KNOWS MAN WHO KNOWS

he is one of the best performers ive ever laid my eyes on. the charisma and aura that he has stunned everybody and all i had to say was woooooow, he left me shooketh. sm really hit the jackpot with him. he is one of the pillars that nct stands on and im thankful for it

voice and rap voice were the same irl nothing surprising of course we already know that he’s talented but the crowd did love and cheer for him lots. he started the show strong and ended it strong (also let us see his shoulders thank you sir)

when he wasn’t performing he stood back more to let the other members shine and do their thing (ooooof what a leader) but I did wish that he talked a little more during the ments that’s all i could’ve asked for. he gave me a chill but nervous(?) vibe idk how to explain it

DOYOUNG

this man is GORGEOUS irl his eyes were so mesmerizing and sparkly,,,,,,,he had the cutest smile ever and the vibe he gave off to me was a little intimidating but definitely confident. he knows that he’s talented and isn’t afraid to show it

like taeil his voice was the same irl and he is a vocal powerhouse too. stable and clean. really blessed my ears and soul whenever his mouth opened. his falsetto is NOT to be messed with👀 im not saying that he is a male version of ariana but that’s exactly what I’m saying

he really interacted with the fans during the ments and he was so funny (at one point he said something and we missed it and he started laughing and then said it again so we could scream for him,,,,,,,,,,,his ego im- skskskskskshd)

most iconic thing he said was that he wanted to keep going and going and going and that he didn’t want to leave like BOI JUST STAY THEN i can buy you a house and you can just stay in Canada sksksksj i wouldnt mind if he was my neighbor

YUTA

my fellow scorpi(h)o(e) birthday buddy loml person *insert gif of me crying* he really has a resting bitch face (same here) BUT HAS THE SWEETEST HEART AND SMILE i was falling so hard and fast for him. he would probably be my best friend if i ever met him

he was honestly like a little kid,,,,had so much energy and was laughing and jumping and acting all crazy, he joked around with us so much. but then when he performed it was all ✖️🔪☠️✖️💀 and I was feeling like 527273 emotions at once i didn’t know what to do

his voice sounded a little different irl but singing voice was beautiful *cough* sm give him more lines or i will come for you *cough* and his dancing is off the charts you can really tell he puts so much effort in to be an amazing performer. i’d say hes the next best dancer next to taeyong/haechan/mark

yall this boy deadass wore a toque and said that he looked like a canadian university student and kept saying “didn’t you guys know???” with the cutest little expression ever im DEAD INSIDE and ugh he is so caring for the other members and went to mark so many times during the show

JAEHYUN

ok yall know he’s my bias and can I just say that i died, went to highway to heaven, and came back every time he did ANYTHING ????? like anything. im a whipped bitch phew. my deadly crush on him got even bigger after this - bc he really is just a 21 y/o hot dude that i would fall for irl if i met him on the streets skdhcgljsdfg 

singing voice ???? perfect. visuals ???? astonishing. hotel???? trivago. skskskks stop me. anyways lemme just say that this man goes HARD when he performs i was so concerned for him like pls chill a little. he kept milly rockin and pointing to the cameras and doing shoulder/body rolls and being a lil hoe (aka this was the best day of my life)

his smile is something to die for, there is a charm to it. also he is flirt no.2 after johnny. he knew EXACTLY what to say to get the attention and everyone gave him what he asked for. he kept on saying how he loved vancouver and had a crush on it. also called us HOT a few times😪

anytime he talked and came on screen he got loud cheers and he would soak it all in (meanwhile I was having a mental breakdown,,,,,the girl behind me kept looking at me every time like sis just let me die sheesh). he gives off chill but confident vibe - i would be terrified to approach him irl. really is a people pleaser and does things to earn him attention and love

JUNGWOO

babyboy.com ......... he really is the CUTEST member all I wanted to do was hold him and pat his lil head and tel him that everything was gonna be ok. he seemed really nervous but did an amazing job performing nonetheless but i do hope that he becomes more confident in himself when he’s on stage cuz he’d get more attention than he already does

they way he talks and acts is actually baby boy culture but i can tell that that’s just a mask to hide his true side, whatever that maybe, all i know is that we aint prepared for it. his eyes sparkled every time he talked and i know this is annoying but he really is snoopy. i won’t take it back.

like taeil, he didn’t talk much during the ments but still received lots of love and cheers when he did. i personally feel like he could be ncts secret weapon in some way but that is tbd. his vocals, voice, and visuals were the same irl he really couldn’t be anymore perfect.

he tried his best to talk in english and i want to thank him for it, IT WAS SO CUTEEEE. he started crying a little at one point when he was talking about touring and performing and my HEART BROKE like no bb come here I’ll just hug you and everything will be ok.

MARK

canadas boy. canadas treasure. canadas pride. canadas ass👀 and nctzens everything. he got the loudest cheers (obvi) and i swear every time he started to talk/rap/exist everyone would loose it and it made him flustered. he felt really touched by this show and im glad that we were able to make him feel like that 

he gives off that typical high school boy crush vibe. he’s really THAT awkward young adult that has it all and doesn’t know what to do with it (you’ve definitely met someone just like him) he seemed a little nervous for the show which was a given and was so clueless when we started chanting his name😂 jaehyun had to take his in-ear thingy out and his face when he realized what we were saying KILLED me

his voice is the same irl but i personally felt like his looks stood out more. he looks more mature (?) in person. his eyes also SPARKLED like he really holds galaxies in his eyes. his smile and laugh really brought joy to my heart. i just wanna thank his parents for creating such a beautiful human being. also cheek bones

he talked about his day in vancouver and started to go down memory lane and was taking about how his school was closed on the day sm was holding auditions and how it’s been a decade since he’s come back (SM LET HIM VISIT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD) he also told us that he’s proud to be a canadian and that we’re lucky to live in such a beautiful place😭❤️ i- someone come hold me

HAECHAN

babyboy numero 2. he has the babiest face out of all of them but the SOFTEST voice legit sounds like an angel i assume. his hair and skin were flawless and people better stop wh*tewashing him LET HIS BEAUTY SHINE THROUGH PEOPLE

vocals sounded the same but the pitch of his talking voice is a little different. his smile got my heart racing and he has the cutest cheeks i wanna squishem so bad. he seemed a little shy and didn’t talk a lot during the ments. his stage presence really surprised me i legit started screaming “heee heee its haechan jackson” ksksksksks i hate myself

after they performed jet lag he straight up -no warning given- went “doesn’t it feel like we just went on a date?” LIKE BOI DO I LOOK- if you think I cried you’re absolutely right. he’s definitely johnnys son he’s LEARNING from the master of flirting. but he flirts in the most adorable way possible like how ????????

i would 12/10 die for him and also wouldn’t mind having a mini version of him around for emotional support and love. sm also hit the jackpot with haechan and i also feel like he’s another secret weapon in the group watch out yall i keep forgetting that he’s so young and that the best years are still ahead of him i can’t wait to see what the future has in store for such a talented person

Other Comments

i could really sense the exhaustion from the boys. they’ve been go go go from the beginning and i truly hope that they get a well deserved rest. nonetheless they put on a great show, hyped up the crowd, and made us fall in love with them even more. also they performed jet lag for us and lemme tell you that it was a B O P.  i wanna say that i died when jaehyun called out the fake fans bc they didn’t know the album release date i LOVE his savage and petty ass😘, this was my first ever kpop concert and im so blessed to have seen nct127, as Johnny said, i can’t wait to see what our journey together has in store for us. im so glad they enjoyed their time in Canada (they kept saying how beautiful it was and how they want to come back to more cities hekwishehsos catch ur girl dying over here). 

[blightfics]

THE THIRD WHEEL CHAPTER 2: Her Voice

Previous Chapter: Color

Next Chapter: More Coming Soon!

Disclaimer:  This story is based from a lot of animes, such as Your Lie in April and Waiting in the Summer.

Author’s Note: If the “Keep reading” doesn’t work, go here for the full post. Since my brother’s drawing monitor is being borrowed by his friend, there won’t be any chapter artworks until some time around March. Italicized narration is told by one of the protagonists, Kyle Collins. And lastly, to pay respects to non-American sports fans, I’m going to call it “football”, not “soccer”.

Tags: @princessstellaris, @mechaspirit, @xo-endlessmayhem-xo, @i-miss-trr, @aquamarvel, @mysteli, @choicesyouplayandmore, @skyila, @brightpinkpeppercorn, @sceptilemasterr, @scgdoeswhat, @endlessly-searching-for-you

Recommended Music: Can You Forget? (YLIA)

On the Spring of 2018, something colorful came into my monotone life...

Vivian: I’m Vivian. And I am in love with your artworks!

How did it come to this...?

Lunch period, March 5, 2018; Kyle is seated by a cafeteria table. Sitting opposite him is Vivian, the redhead girl who suddenly came up to him and confessed her affection towards his artworks. The redhead girl joyfully wolfs down her lunch meal while the boy still hasn’t partaken on his meal. He is still left dumbfounded by his encounter with Vivian.

Our encounter occurred just a few meters from the art club room. Mr. Ross steps outside the room and spots me and the girl. He invited her in and she was introduced herself to us. Her name was Vivian Richards and she’s a transfer student, currently pursuing arts, specifically musical arts. I can tell right away why she was so enthralled by visual arts as well. Everyone likes my work but I’ve never met someone as joyful as her and instantly claiming that she loves my work. I was still frozen from the encounter as Mr. Ross and Vivian chatted about my artworks until the lunch bell rang. And now, we’re in this situation.

Kyle shakes his head and starts eating his lunch, while Vivian finishes hers and wipes her lips. She then smiles at the boy.

Vivian: So, what’s your next artwork going to be?

People kept asking me that question and I always say that I don’t have anything planned at the moment. But knowing this girl’s enthusiasm, she’ll just keep bugging me about it and I just can’t snap at her. So, for the first time, I gave up to that very question.

Kyle: Well... I am working a Spring-themed artwork of a couple...

Vivian squeals in silence. She tries to scream as happily but as quietly as possible.

Vivian: Aaahh! I can’t wait!

Kyle just smiles shyly. 

Recommended Music: Violence Over (YLiA)

Soon after, Karen and Sam approach the table. They did not notice Vivian yet as they are used to Kyle being alone at the cafeteria.

Karen: Hey, Kyle. What’s going o--

Karen freezes at the sight of the redhead girl. Sam walks up beside her and looks at her curiously.

Sam: What’s wrong, Ka--

Sam glances at Vivian and freezes as well. Kyle sighs.

Kyle: Guys, this is my new friend, Vivian.

Vivian waves at the two with a bright smile.

Vivian: Nice to meet you two.

Sam quickly sets down his meal on the table and drops to his knees. He raises his hands upwards and screams at the ceiling.

Sam: THERE IS A GOD!!

Kyle does a facepalm and Vivian just laughs shyly. Karen quickly sets down her meal and walks up to Kyle, grabbing her brother’s collar.

Karen: TELL. ME. EVERYTHING!!

Kyle: Alright! Chill!

Of course, they’d be curious and excited to know about my encounter with Vivian. They’ve been waiting for this very moment.

The couple sits with the two newly-acquainted friends and Kyle tells the entire story of his encounter with the redhead girl and what happened between them until lunch period. Karen and Sam let out a bright smile while Kyle gives them an annoyed look.

Karen: Well, look at that. My twin brother has his very own Number 1 Fan.

Kyle: Oh, shut it.

Karen and Sam offer their hands to Vivian.

Karen: I’m Kyle’s twin sister, Karen.

Vivian: I’ve known about you because of your book, Endless Summer. But still, nice to meet you!

Karen smiles at the compliment.

Sam: And I’m Sam, the twins’ childhood friend and Karen’s boyfriend. Also...

Vivian: Captain of the Skylia Dragons Football Team, I know.

Sam looks at Kyle with surprise

Sam: Damn, Kyle. You have one helluva friend here!

Kyle: Stop.

Karen suddenly remembers what happened in the Story & Film Club. 

Karen: Oh! I almost forgot.

She pulls out the poster that Elizabeth showed and gave to her.

Karen: Would you guys like to participate in this?

The group lay their eyes on the Film Festival poster. 

Karen: The club is planning on adapting Endless Summer into a film.

Sam winks at Karen.

Sam: I’ll join... only if you’ll be Emily and I’ll be your Jake McKenzie.

Karen blushes and laughs.

Karen: Oh, stop it, you. You know you have to go through auditions first.

Kyle chuckles.

Kyle: I don’t know, but the way he said it sounds like something Jake would say when he’s planning on joining a play with Emily.

Karen squints at Kyle.

Karen: Fine. Why don’t you join the casting auditions too?

Kyle: What?! NO!!

Karen shakes her head.

Karen: Nope, you can’t say “No”. You have drawn an artwork of my story and have read it. That means you have been involved in this film from the start.

Kyle: Ugh... fine...

Karen nods and turns to Vivian. Before the brunette could even say anything, the redhead quickly nods at her.

Vivian: No need to ask. I’m in!

Karen: Perfect! Auditions start later at 4:30 pm at the auditorium. Mr. Cameron has already informed the principal and has posted the announcement on the bulletin board.

Sam then jumps in to change the subject. He tells more about himself, Karen and Kyle to Vivian while they finish their lunch meals. Soon after, they finish lunch period and go on about their usual school business. 

Recommended Music: Lower School at Dusk (YLiA)

The clock strikes at 4:30 pm and Kyle is making his way to the auditorium.

I wasn’t really sure if I wanted to participate in the Film Festival. My mind is still messed up. What is wrong with me? I’ve never felt like this since I met Vivian. My heart’s beating fast and I don’t know why. But I should know why. I’ve witnessed this kind of feeling before but I just don’t know what it is.

Kyle enters the auditorium and from the stage, Karen spots him. She waves at her twin brother.

Karen: Kyle, over here!

Her company turns to the brunet boy and waves at him. This company includes Sam, Vivian, Elizabeth, Mark and Danny. Kyle walks up to the stage. Sam takes the time to introduce Danny to the group.

Sam: Oh, by the way, everyone. This is Danny, our new goalkeeper and Mark’s successor.

Danny is startled by the word, “successor”.

Danny: Well... I don’t know about being his successor yet...

Mark pats his junior’s back.

Mark: Don’t be unsure about it, Danny. I can already see it in you.

Danny smiles as he meets everyone else and shake their hands. Karen does the same introductions to Vivian. As everyone finishes meeting each other, Kyle asks about the auditions.

Kyle: So, what’s gonna happen first?

Karen: Well, for now, we’ll start the auditions for our favorite redhead heroine, Quinn Kelly.

Karen signals Mr. Cameron, from the seats, to begin. The literature teacher claps his hands.

Mr. Cameron: Alright, take your seats, people! Auditions are about to start! First up, auditions for Quinn Kelly.

After ten minutes of other students auditioning, Elizabeth comes up on stage, holding a script with Quinn’s lines. The black-haired girl attempts to portray the redheaded beauty in the story but was unable to because she was nervous, rather than spontaneous, on stage. Karen notices this and turns to Vivian.

Karen: Hey, Vi. Will you give Eli your script with Grace’s lines?

Vivian: Oh, of course.

Vivian runs up to Elizabeth and tells her of the situation. Elizabeth agrees and reads Grace’s lines. She nods and tries again. This time, thanks to her shy personality, she was able to portray the smart girl perfectly. Karen claps and gives her fellow club member a thumbs up. The others follow on the clapping and the audition continues. 

Recommended Music: You Exist in Spring (YLiA)

Karen again turns to Vivian.

Karen: Vivian, why don’t you try out for Quinn?

Vivian smiles shyly.

Vivian: No, I don’t think I can do her well.

Karen: Please?

Karen shows puppy eyes towards the redhead and the latter eventually groans and chuckles as she stands up. She gets onstage and reads Quinn’s lines. She channels the enthusiasm she had when she met Kyle and used it on her audition. Everyone was astounded by her performance, even Kyle. Soon, the entire auditorium did a standing ovation towards Vivian. They knew that she would be the perfect person to play as Quinn. The redhead girl’s green eyes light up as she skips merrily back to her seat. Kyle is left staring at Vivian throughout the entire audition.

She was... amazing. For a girl who is pursuing musical arts, who knew she could be talented in acting too. Or is it because of her enthusiasm earlier? That could’ve been it. It matches well with Quinn’s spontaneous personality that covers her sadness over her illness. I want to know more, about what makes her tick, and why, no matter how hard I close my eyes, her bright light pierces through my eyelids. I want to audition for Casey.

As the audition continues, many other flawless performances were made; Karen portrayed Emily, Sam portrayed Jake, Danny portrayed Diego, Mark portrayed Sean, and Ariya, captain of the Skylia Girl’s Volleyball team, portrayed Estela. However there was one character that no one seems to get right, Casey, the male protagonist. Mr. Cameron and Karen end up massaging their heads from stress. Meanwhile after Kyle reads the audition script, he stands up and turns to his sister and the teacher.

Kyle: Hey, umm... can I have a go?

Karen and Mr. Cameron look at Kyle with surprise.

Karen: Oh, sure!

Mr. Cameron: Go ahead, Kyle.

Kyle runs up to the stage and goes through the script again before doing the audition. 

Yeah. I know clearly well how Casey felt in this scene. The feeling of losing someone very close to your heart. I’ve read and loved his character arc, even before Endless Summer started to catch fire. He lost his friends and sacrificed his entire life to become the Endless in the first timeline, against his own twin sister’s objections. I regret turning down Karen’s offer of letting me join here earlier. No one seems to able to play Casey... that’s why I have to do it. Only I can understand and portray him.

Mr. Cameron signals him.

Mr. Cameron: Alright, audition for Casey from Endless Summer. Scene, the mourning of Quinn’s supposed death in Elyy’stel. Aaand..... ACTION!

Kyle quickly kneels down and starts to remember the incident that caused his parents’ death six months ago. Real tears start to fall from his eyes as he pretends that Quinn is either one of his dying parents. He is able to portray Casey so flawlessly that everyone thought that he was also a great actor. 

Recommended Music: My Lie (YLiA)

But only a few people know that Kyle wasn’t faking it; Karen, Sam and Mr. Cameron, because they know of his past. Vivian also manages to know that Kyle wasn’t faking his expressions. She can see it clearly on his face. Mr. Cameron stands up and approaches Kyle. He places a hand on the boy’s shoulder.

Mr. Cameron: That’s enough, Kyle. You got the part. Go sit with your sister and let out the rest of your emotions.

Kyle nods and hurries to Karen and Sam, who comforted him. Vivian looks at the brunet boy with concern, while Mark, Danny and Elizabeth notice that he was actually crying. Mr. Cameron checks his watch and notices that it is now 7:00 pm. He claps his hands to catch the attention of the students in the auditorium.

Mr. Cameron: Alright, that is it for the main cast auditions. I will post in the bulletin board tomorrow who will play who. Dismissed.

Most of the students leave the auditorium with only a few people still inside. Karen, Sam and Mr. Cameron comfort Kyle while Vivian, Elizabeth, Mark and Danny watch from the side.

Mr. Cameron: Kyle? How are you now, my boy?

Kyle tries to wipe his tears but more kept coming.

Kyle: I’m... 

Suddenly, Vivian approaches him and lays his head on her chest while giving him a warm embrace. Everyone else are stunned by this.

Vivian: There, there. It’s okay to for you to be sad about what happened to you in the past. We all lose... something in our lives... but that doesn’t mean that we are truly lost. Everything always works out in the end, Kyle.

Kyle’s tears stop from falling from his eyes as he nods. Soon after, he was wiping his face and does one last sniff.

Kyle: Alright.... I’m okay now...

That was it. For the first time ever, I was able to say “I am okay.” with all of my heart. It was a hundred percent true and I mean every word of it. Karen and Sam smiled at me because they knew that I wasn’t lying this time. Vivian was truly something else.

Mr. Cameron gently ruffles Kyle’s hair before turning to the remaining students.

Mr. Cameron: Alright, everything is fine now. You should all go home. It’s late.

The remaining students nod and they leave the auditorium along with Mr. Cameron. Elizabeth placed a caring and reassuring hand on Kyle’s shoulder before leaving with sadness pasted on her face. Kyle tells Karen and Sam to go on ahead as he has to clean his face up first in the boys’ restroom. The two smile and nod at him and the boy smiled back, genuinely, and ran off.

A few minutes later, Kyle walks past the auditorium and notices that one of its doors are open. He takes a peek and sees that Vivian is standing by the stage, looking at the red curtains.

I allowed myself to stay longer not because I was curious about what Vivian was doing, but because... she was a completely different person at the time. Even from far away, I could hear her sing... I only heard a few lyrics but I can tell, she was singing Taylor Swift’s song, The Best Day. But she wasn’t singing it happily...

I can clearly tell from her voice, she was crying...

--- End of Chapter ---

[tayegi]

Hey Lu! I'm sorry you have to deal with such bullshit, like you are an amazing writer and hearing that your work is being stolen really breaks my heart. Props to you for being nice the first time around, because as someone that's dabbling in writing myself, i might've lost my shit the first time around if i saw my work being stolen

Anonymous said:Honestly I admire you so much for not deleting everything you have ever written because of people like the wattpad author.... that’s fucking crazy.

Anonymous said:Hey Lu, I've never sent you a message because you're already inundated with so many. But I wanted to send some support after what happened with that anencephalic rat who blatantly plagiarized your work. I'm a TA in my uni's computer science department and I posted some of my code online as a reference for my students in lab, until one student pulled all my code from github and submitted it as their own. Safe to say I don't provide code samples anymore. (1)

Anonymous said:Whatever you decide to do with your writing from now on, I just want to say I really enjoy all your work and I'm so sorry that you had your work stolen like this. Looooove you (hehe love LU) (2)

Anonymous said:Hey Lu, I’ve always been a quiet follower of yours, but after this plagiarism incident, I had to send something. I’m sorry you have to deal with ignorant and immature people like her. I legit understand why you would want to stop writing after something like this. You gave her a warning and she’s just not understanding how polite you’ve been about it (imagine once she gets to college, yikes). Anyways, we’re always here to love and support you. We can get through this!!! ❤️❤️❤️

peachyguki said:This is so bs. People dont understand that THIS IS ILLEGAL. SUCH DUMBASSES. I feel so fucking bad for you Lu...jfc she better comprehend what she did was wrong.

taebunsuga said:Fuuccckkk I knew it abt the plagiarizing thing but I wasn’t sure,, I was reading Pour Up and thought it seemed awfully familiar and was like is this new rules, but then thought maybe I was just reading a fic, but then she mentioned the office hoes theme part and I’m like shit omi this is new rules and then next thing I asked her abt it and so she posts this whole ass chapter abt how her plagiarism wasn’t intentional 🤧🤧💀💀

Anonymous said:This! Entire! Situation! Is! Whack! Srsly she's so dumb thinking she wouldn't face repercussions at some point. If it means anything tho her writing isn't great and I think it's safe to say we all know you're superior here. I really hope this gets sorted out and she faces some type of consequences

Anonymous said:There's nothing I hate more than a theif and I'm so sorry you have to experience this.

lucielux said:I wasn't on tumblr much today so I just saw this whole plagiarism thing and I'm soooo sorry this is happening to you :( idgaf if I can't report her for ripping off your fic, I'm reporting her for hate or something else then but Wattpad won't stop me from reporting her this is just not okay fam. Anyway hope you're okay girl ❤️

lucielux said:Lu I know you're off the internet for today, but just in case this is still an issue when you come back, when you report for hate Wattpad will send you an email asking you to complete a form. In the form you should include what point of the "Code of Conduct" was violated, and one of them is "Don't share stories that aren't yours". SO what I'm getting at is y'all can't repot plagiarism but you can repot for hate and then add that plagiarism happened. In any case, hope you're feeling better 💖

Anonymous said:I'm so sorry Lu. You definitely don't deserve this shit. She's being two faced and doesn't understand consequences. Honestly, I don't think she will understand unless you file a formal complaint. Her behaviour is shameful to say it lightly.... All my love you Lu!! I hope this bullshit ends soon.

Anonymous said:I don't get why people want her to send them the pdf files of her rip off??? why don't thy just like, read the original one here??? Instead of supporting plagiarism??? like what

Anonymous said:how is she so dedicated to plagiarizing, willing to send pdfs'? rather than spending time just trying to write herself.. 🤷‍♀️

Anonymous said:why don't you do the same? send us all pdf files of your writing and let's see if she'll continue to write "her original story" HA! her fans will realize that she's not so innocent and original when in a few weeks she still doesn't have any more additions to "her story"

Anonymous said:It looks like people don't like going back on their opinions, like: I like this author and I'll keep liking it no matter what, oh look she was accused of of plagiarism, but i said I like her I can't go back, I won't even see the original story, I'm just gonna say I don't believe in it" IT'S OK, to like an author and then if this author do shit you can and SHOULD be disappointed and stop supporting this bad thing they done, this actually apply to any artist,actor,musician+

latebloomer19

submitted:

I’m so sad and angry at the same time that the plot was originally yours and it was plagiarized by this author on wattpad. Honestly that became my fave fic tho because of the girl mc’s attitude and character. Now that I have found the real author I’m going to support the story so much💕💕💕 I downloaded the tumblr app just because I want to read your other fics hahaha 💕💕💕

littlekookieboy said:Omg I’m so outraged and the fact she’s trying to play victim with everything is even worse! I really hope she gets reported and she learns not to do plagiarism anymore. Seriously ur one the first writers I’ve ever read from here and seeing as how she has the audacity to do something like this is disgusting. Anyways I hope all goes well!!!!

canadiankae said:smh kids these days. I am actually astounded at her stupidity for announcing that she straight up stole your work and then tried to play victim. She'll get what's coming to her when she forgets to source for her assignments in school... then try to say she came up with it lol. If she keeps it up we'll help you take care of it. No way i'm letting my favorite writer go through this again

Anonymous said:im rly sorry all of this is happening to you. i wish i could do something to make u feel better and reassure you that we all care about you and hate seeing people do this shit to you. big hugs

Anonymous said:Lu, have you ever tried any online plagiarism check? I think it would be fun if you showed her the 99% similarity with New Rules. But I don't get it. Doesn't she feel embarrassed? I think its so sad.

Anonymous said:hoenstly the whole 'i spent hours on it tho' bs shes trying to pull is so annoying cause like if you were really willing to spend that much time plagiarizing someone elses work, why couldn't you have just written your own stuff during that time??? i just ugh im like mad for you if that makes any sense just urgghh

Anonymous said:I'm sorry you're having to deal with this shit. You are much more talented and well thought out than someone who cant think of their own ideas. and I've genuinely loved a lot of your fics. New rules is an amazing story that I always check for updates on and I love what you try to convey through your stories. It's disgusting that someone would do that to your work but I just want to remind you how appreciated your work is by actual fans. Love you!!!! I hope you feel better!

Anonymous said:Tbh i am so sorry that you have to deal with this situation now... you deserve so much better. I hope this thing ends quickly before upsetting you any further..

Anonymous said:Do it, file the report. If you don't you're letting her win. She has to learn her lesson and realize that she's in the wrong

Anonymous said:Ah! I sent the whole pour up ordeal and i’m so sorry i mistyped and put Tumblr instead of Wattpad because I was rushing to let you know! I’m glad it’s sorted because I became so angry that she plagiarised your work so blatantly! 💜

tywriteskpop said:I hope this thievery issue is resolved soon! I know I’d be devastated if my hard work was taken like that. Hopefully all of the support from your readers and many others will help convince her she is in the wrong. Please don’t stress too much about it. 🙏🏻 You have many people backing you up on this, and the option to report her for plagiarism is there when you’re ready, should she not cooperate. I wish many blessings to you, friend.

Anonymous said:Ok but like plagiarism on Wattpad is such a problem??? I’m sorry that you’re dealing with this rn 💕💕💕

sheridandwyer said:I am so sorry to hear that you're going through this! As a fellow writer, it breaks my heart to see a story that you've worked your ass off to craft and make original just stolen like this! I will DEFINITELY be leaving a comment venting my frustrations)in a respectful way, of course.) We've got your back and your followers will fight for you. Please know you're not in this fight alone!

Anonymous said:Lu! I'm so sorry about this whole problem! I went on wattpad to see the story and your comment is there. I cannot even fathom how much you work for your fics, but I do know how much it means to you. We will help you out any way we can and take that story down. It's not acceptable this person continues to get credit fot it. We love you, Lu!

Anonymous said:hey hon!!! i read her story before reading yours (after finding out her irresponsible actions) & i really want to say, yours is wayyyyyy better

acucarebiscoito said:Omg Lu this wattpad plagiarism thing is really annoying, what can we do to help? I love your work and I'm so angry and sad that they are disrespecting you this way ):

awkward-kooks said:Oh babe :( people are awful, stealing works is exactly why I'm scared to write on sns :/ hope they come to the realization that what they're doing is wrong and remove the story.

thank you guys so much for all of your love and support. Seriously, without you guys, I wouldve been so upset and frustrated right now. But it’s only because of this incredible outpouring of love and all of your support in talking to her, reporting her, etc. that we’ve gotten through this. And all of your suggestions are so hilarious and creative! I cracked up reading this alsjdfklsdfj i love you guys so much

[gaslightgallows]

Ugh, goddamn it people, before coffee? I mean, really... 

Okay, I’m gonna take the top and bottom ones first. Ahem.

1) I can assume you’re a cruel-hearted asshole. BLOCKED

3) Back atcha. BLOCKED

Right, now, about that middle one... 

So, here’s the thing: she does care. A lot. She knows there are people who support her and she is incredibly grateful. 

But when you’ve gone through a decade-plus of this kind of constant, grinding, needling abuse, actively reaching out to other people is hard. It takes energy and spoons and a level of emotional commitment that you just don’t have. And it’s scary, because you can’t trust anyone not to turn on you at the drop of a dime. 

How can she trust anymore, when people go out of their way to tell her, “I sent you a nice message and a hate message and you only posted the hate message, so you must just be trolling for sympathy lol kill yourself”? 

Elicia doesn’t know me; I’m just a URL in her mentions. She’s not obligated to care about me. And I don’t know her. I’m just a butch queer person writing fanfic on this hellsite. And she’s just making astoundingly good fan art. 

But she is also insistent upon demanding respect for herself and her work, and in calling out the misogyny, sexism, homophobia and racism that exists in media and fandom, that we know exists in media and fandom.

And these fuckers don’t like that. Because the internet is incapable of nuance, so when she says “Hey, this aspect of this thing is bad and we shouldn’t give it a pass for that”, people take it as a personal goddamn attack.

So they’re going out of their way to prove that she’s right to be scared of people. 

And even if she didn’t care, and told all the people trying to support her to piss off? I’d probably still be doing this. Because these pestilential grey eyeball irritants decided it would be a good idea to come into my inbox and mock me for trying to show a fellow creator that she doesn’t stand alone.

Never make things personal, y’all. Never make things personal.

I got a message last night from an actual mutual, unlike those cowards (that I will not name, because I am sincerely obliged for their concern), an old SPN fan from way back who’s seen some shit, essentially warning me not to get too involved in this business, because they were worried about my mental health.

Think about that. 

All I’ve done is listen to Elicia and back up when she says “Stop sending me hate”. And now someone’s worried about my health and safety. And I’ve got smug anons spewing poison all over my fic prompts. 

Know why I screenshot them, btw, instead of publishing them? So I could block their IP addresses. I had to get up out of bed on a Saturday morning and come to my desktop to do that, because Tumblr Mobile is shit. But I published the one from last night because I wanted to get rid of it. Not just delete it. Set it free into the world where other people could see it and get as pissed off at it as I was.

That’s why Elicia publishes the hate. It’s a coping mechanism. And so is not publishing the kind messages. She’s said it herself, hundreds of times: she’s grateful for those and she wants to keep them, to remind herself that people do actually give a shit. That people do care. 

Even when she’s too exhausted and scared to care back.

(The couple I didn’t screencap accused me of either A) wanting to be some kind of ‘hero’, and B) getting off on responding to all her haters. Uuuuugh.)

This isn’t about Elicia seeking attention (and believe me, jerk-anon from last night, I’ve spent a lot of time with people with personality disorders - this ain’t that). Those threatening anons up there - and yes, those are threats, if only passive ones trying to annoy/scare me into going quietly away - aren’t her fault. 

None of this is her fault. But it keeps happening.

And when it spreads to other people, that’s not her fault, either. She’s spending all of her time trying to keep herself safe, and we’re failing her. We’re failing every woman on this site. We have to do better. 

Oh, and ps Anon #2: BLOCKED 

Just reblog her stuff. Send her a Ko-Fi, if you can. Speak up about this abuse, if you’re able. 

And if you think she isn’t worth your attention? Prove it: leave her alone. 

God I need all the coffee now.

*One personal note: I’ve turned off Anons, for the time-being. Anyone requesting a fic prompt who wishes to remain anonymous (I get it, trust me) should mention that when they prompt.

[1-800-jikooks]

Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood || I

Pairing: Min Yoongi x Reader

Warning: smut, swearing, drugs and alcohol abuse

Word Count: 5.3k

Prologue - Chapters - Next

The smell of food drew Yoongi out of his bed and into his dining room. He quickly took a seat as his roommate finished making his breakfast. The night before slowly started to sink in, him being thrown out of the wedding, meeting her, talking about things he’s never said out loud before. If he was being honest with himself he never felt this good with some one before, and it scared him.

“Morning,” said Jungkook. Yoongi ignored him and took out his phone checking for new notifications. “So, I’ve been thinking about a way to fix my problems,” Jungkook said bringing Yoongi a plate of food. “You’ve finally found a solution to move out my house?” Yoongi asked taking  a bite from his plate. “No, I mean my real problems, like the nightmares and how I wanna do heroin all the time,” Jungkook said like it was a normal thing. Yoongi looked at him weirdly. Jungkook was usually the quiet type but when he spoke it amazed Yoongi how blunt he was sometimes. They have been friends for a while, even though he would never admit, Jungkook was one of the only people he cared about, in his own way. “So, anyways, I think I should-” “Hey, why did you let me sleep so late?” Y/N interrupted Jungkook, yawning. Her platinum blonde hair was messy and she only wore Yoongi’s shirt from the night before. She started to notice details of the house that she hadn’t the night before. The house was bigger than she remembered. It was a big open space, you could see the living room, the dining table and the kitchen from the top of the  of the wooden staircase that led to Yoongi’s room down in the basement. She approached the table and reached for Yoongi’s plate taking it from him, “God, I’m so hungry.” Jungkook and Yoongi stared at her weirdly, nobody ever spent the night. “What?” she asked. They both shook their head and continued what they were doing. “I’m Y/N by the way and this food is awesome.” “Thanks,” the raven haired boy said quietly. “How did you guys meet?” She asked taking another bite. “We met in college,” Jungkook said “No, we didn’t.” Yoongi responded to him. “He was in college and I sold stuff to the students,” he looked at his plate and moved to the table. “He gave me CD’s and music sheet books because he saw potential in me.” “I gave you CD’s I stole from a music store because I couldn’t afford the weed you sold.” Jungkook shrugged at his comment and happily continued eating. “Yeah, well, heard his music?” Jungkook asked. Yoongi shot him a glare, he knew how much he hated when people pointed out his music career, yet Jungkook still did it all the time. “No, not really,” she paused for a moment, “Wait, now I know where I’ve seen you before! Didn’t you sing in that really catchy song last year with um, what’s his name? Kim Seokjin? He is a really good singer-song writer.” “I rapped and wrote it.” Yoongi mumbled. “How come I haven’t heard anything new from you?” She asked him. “I’m working on stuff, it takes time to write good music.” he grumbled. The truth was, he wasn’t writing at all. In fact he was completely tired of everyone he talks to asks when was he going to release a complete album, he would always have the same answer. In reality, he had absolutely nothing. He couldn’t write anything. He stayed up every night he wasn’t in a bar locked up in his room trying to produce something but nothing came to his mind. “Cool,” she said. “So, who’s giving me a ride to work?” “I don’t have a car, I’m too poor,” Jungkook said picking up the plates. “Min, you’re up.” “My car is at the reception. We took a cab, remember?” he said rolling his eyes. “Shit, well, I’ll call somebody,” she said looking for her phone then she called the only person who would be willing to pick her up.

“I cannot believe you slept with Min Yoongi!” Jimin scolded her. He couldn’t believe how reckless she was, she knew what an asshole he was and she still did it. “Drive faster, I’m late for work,” Y/N said ignoring her best friend’s scolds “He dated my sister!” Jimin continued, “And you slept with him on her wedding night!” “Apparently,” She laughed. “Why are you crawling up my ass about this Jiminie?” “You know what an asshole he is. I tell you all the time about how he swallowed her up, she disappeared her life into his and was never the same.” “Yeah, but that’s because Jeongae didn’t have a personality to begin with.” “Well, that’s true,” Jimin agreed smiling. “Ugh, Yoongi is the worst. You’re not gonna see him again, are you?” “No way,” Y/N answered. She was never the type of person who had a relationship with someone, not a serious one at least. The liberty to fuck whoever she wanted, party whenever she wanted, drink before 10 am and just enjoy life all together was more of her thing. Relationships only limited the possibility of fun, she told herself. But she couldn’t help but notice a weird feeling forming in her chest at the thought of Yoongi. “We did have fun though.” What if Yoongi thought they had too much fun last night? What if he… if he,asked her out? Y/N shivered in disgust at the thought, and put her feet on top of the dashboard, “Oh god, I hope he doesn’t think last night was a thing.” “Yeah, I hope.” Jimin said, “Hey! Take your feet off the dashboard!” “Stop the car,” She said annoyed “What?” “I said, stop the car.” she demanded, Jimin stopped the car and looked at her with disbelief. “You’re gonna judge me for having sex with a guy at a wedding, how many guys did you blow at our 5 year reunion?” Jimin looked down at his feet, “Four.” “Four?!” She said surprised, “You told me three.” “I might have left out Kim Min Ho,” he said smiling. “Ew, so gross,” Y/n laughed. “We used to have so much fun.” “Yeah, we did. Why did you have to get married?” You pouted. Jimin’s smiled faded away. You quickly realized what she said. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-” “It’s okay, I know you didn’t mean to bring it up to hurt me.” Jimin had been married for a year to Lee Ma Ri now, and she was a nightmare. Not to mention Jimin was gay. The marriage had been arranged since Jimin started college, his parents decided that if he was going to inherit their company they couldn’t have a soiled reputation because of Jimin’s “bad habits”. Jimin shrugged it off proceeded to drive. He hasn’t been the same since that wedding, he was usually a giggly happy-go-lucky type of guy but now he snaps from time to time and gets annoyed easily. He was truly unhappy. She couldn’t do anything but feel bad for her best friend.

“Great, just great!” Yoongi said when he opened yet another letter from the entertainment company. The company that worked with him for his first single with Kim Seok Jin kept nagging at him to write an album. They knew he was good and that he would make them a lot of money so they kept bothering him instead of dropping him like they would with anybody else. He took the cigarette that rested behind his ear and put it between his lips. “Hey, I’m Oon Jong Joon,” Yoongi turned around to see a little boy standing in his driveway. The kid’s head reached Yoongi’s shoulder. He was a bit chubby, had dark black hair and his face was squished down like he had hit a brick wall. A bit like pug. Yoongi thought. “What?” he said with a grimace. “I just moved in,” he pointed at the house in front of his. “Right over there.” “Of course you did,” Yoongi grumbled annoyed and lighted his cigarette. “Why do you say that?” “Because the death of any interesting neighbourhood is caused by the influx of procreators,” He replied rolling his eyes. “Oh, that’s cool. My nutritionist is gay, too.” “I’m not gay, I’m a musician.” “What’s that?” Yoongi let out a sigh bothered by the presence of the child and his insistence to talk to him. “A letter of instigation from an entertainment company. You know- ” “You wanna hang out sometime?” The kid interrupted. “What?” Yoongi grimaced. “What are you even talking about? I’m an adult. Do you know what that means?” The kid stared at him blank look on his face. Not that bright, Yoongi noted. “It means that I am attacked at all times by a tsunami of complex thoughts and struggles, deeply aware of my own mortality and able to contemplate the futility of everything and yet still rage against the dying light. So, do you see how monumentally stupid, you a child, asking me, an adult, if I want to hang out?” “My dad designs videogames, we get all the new ones early.” The kid shrugged. “Come over around 8,” Taehyung stated turning around and entering his house.

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” Y/N screamed while hitting her office’s door. Famous actress Moon Sye Ho laid face down on the couch. Y/N has received a call in Jimin’s car about how if the main actress didn’t show up the show would be cancelled. She couldn’t have this show cancelled. “I said I’m not coming out!” Sye Ho shouted throwing something at the door, making Y/N jump back. “We have to finish filming this episode today, we’re already three days behind!” “I’m not doing shit until that bastard apologises!” She threw another thing around the room. Fuck, she’s gonna break everything! “Who? Bong Sang Mo?” Y/N asked with a compassionate tone rolling her eyes, every goddamn day the main stars of the TV drama she wrote fought and she was the only one that could reason with them from the whole staff. They were more dramatic than they characters she created. Fellow co-workers stood around and looked above their desktops to see the drama unfold some of them were even taping. Y/N hace them a weak sarcastic smile and they turned away.  “Do you want to let me in and talk about it?” “No.” she pouted. “Come on, Sye Ho. Let’s try to fix this, you don’t want to disappoint your fans by not finishing filming now, do you?”  She gritted through her teeth. The door was unlocked and slowly opened. Sye Ho slowly, crept out of the room, and closed the door behind her. “What did he do now?” She asked. Moon Sye Ho and Bong Sang Mo were the most famous celebrity couple in Korea, people found them profoundly entertaining because of their on and off dynamic and rumors of cheating. Their life was drama. Sye Ho went on and on about how Bong Sang Mo was dancing with some other girl at a club and something about burning his 2017 autumn collection in his backyard She quickly spaced out of the conversation due to the fact that it was unbearably boring. This is exactly why she didn’t like the whole relationship thing. It brought too many problems and conflicts. It’s easier to stay away from them. She did a simple no strings attached one night stand the night before, there were no complications or issues afterwards. Why can’t more people do that? Yoongi, at least understood. She still couldn’t believe that she told him all those things. Some of them she swore she would take to her grave. What surprised her the most was the way he reacted to them, he laughed and went along with it. If it was someone else they would have probably thrown her out of the house. He probably didn’t because he’s just as terrible as her. She felt arms wrap around her, taking her back to reality. Sye ho was clearing her face of tears and backed away from the hug. “So you’ll do it for me?” “Sure, sure. Whatever you need, sweetie.” Y/N said pretending she paid attention smiling. Sye Ho jumped with joy and clapped her hands. “You’re the best!” She explained, walking towards the elevator. People made space for her to pass, a lot of them were afraid. “I’ll go back to work now! Don’t forget, I’ll be expecting it tomorrow or I’ll have your ass fired!” Y/N watched her get back into the studio skipping and shook her head. She spotted an employee that was probably standing there all along and approached him. “Um, what exactly do I have to get so I don’t end up jobless?” She whispered. “Apparently some cocaine,” he shrugged. Fuck. Where the hell would I find cocaine? She thought. She knew of someone but she would do anything to avoid him right now. “Do you know where to find some?” She asked him, looking around, people weren’t paying attention anymore. “Not my problem,” he said plainly. She shot him glare. “You’re rude,” she shot. “Yeah, well I don’t care,” he said turning around. She grabbed his shoulder. “Hey! Don’t turn your back on me!” He let out a sigh and turned to face her. “What’s your name?” “Kim Taehyung,” he shrugged and pushed past her. She followed him with her eyes shooting daggers at him. What’s his problem?

She decides to relax in her office for a while, maybe steal some food from her co-workers and then buy a bottle of beer at the American themed diner across the street. Today had been stressful enough.

She entered her now half destroyed office and sat on the tear stained couch. She looked around the disaster and almost screamed with excitement when she saw the half of the donut she started eating the day before. She quickly ran to it and shoved it in her mouth. Finally something good today!

After some light work she decided she was bored. She looked for her purse to head out but it was nowhere to be found. She was pretty sure Sye Ho wouldn’t touch a fake Louis Vuitton purse even if her life was at risk so that ruled her out. She realized that  she didn’t have it when she was in Jimin’s car… Oh no… no no no no… fuck. She left a his house. Shit, he’s gonna think I want more if I go back! She groaned and sat down again in the blue sofa. Calm down. She told herself and took out her phone ordering an Uber. He might understand, if not you can do your usual speech. Yeah, the speech.

“I got your car towed back here!” Jungkook said entering the front door. Yoongi sat on the red  couch on his living room tea in one hand and the company's letter in the other. “Look who I found getting out of an Uber.”

“Hey,” Y/N said awkwardly stepping inside the house. She waved at him quickly and smiled. Yoongi tore his eyes off the letter just for a second ant took a quick glance at her. He turned back on her and ignored her presence. Y/N smacked her lips and let out an awkward laugh.

“Don’t worry. I forgot my purse. Not on purpose or anything ” She waved her arms around. She paused for a moment to see if he would react to her words. It was like she wasn’t even there. Jungkook scratched the back of his head and slowly backed away.

“Imma leave you two alone,” and he disappeared into the house.

“Um, he’s sweet.” She said approaching him a bit. God, this was way too awkward. She just wanted to get this over with and leave.

“You know your purse had food in it,” he stated, finally acknowledging her presence. He glared at her giving her a judgemental look. “It was covered in ants. Who keeps food in their purse?”

“Woah, what’s your problem?” She folded her arms. He took a deep breath.

“Well, I’ve had a shitty day and then I come home to find that my goddamn bedroom is like a 50’s sci-fi movie,” he scolded her, “Why did you stay over, huh? That’s amateur hour.”

Y/N couldn’t believe him, here she was standing in the middle of her one night stand’s living room being scolded like a child and then lecture on how she should handle her ditching phase one she slept with someone?

“Here, I was worried that you were going to get the wrong idea about last night,” she dropped her arm hitting her legs. “So, thank you for saving me the speech.”

“You were gonna make a speech?” He mocked. She scoffed and turned around to leave the house.

“Forget it.”

“Yeah, no kidding. Save your breath!” She halted at his response and scoffed. What the fuck was wrong with this guy? She stumped back to the living room.

“I don’t know what planet you are from but on my planet, someone like you does not get someone like me,” she moved her arms around her body to accentuate the point. “So, congratulations you bagged a weakened gazelle. That’s right, I’m still stupidly hooked up on someone else who is eons away from you in the evolutionary scale in all categories except maybe an unearned ego!”

Yoongi looked at her more amused than angry at her reaction. Never in his life had he heard someone talk to him like that. Well, he has heard a few insults… more than a few, but there was something about the way she was spitting those word with acid that amazed him.

“What? You so value honesty, you had to chew a bride out on her wedding day in the name of it? Well, why don’t you face this giant hunk of truth, Min Yoongi?!” His smiled dropped instantly. “There is a big fat asterisk next to my name on your skank-ridden little bone list saying ‘She probably would’ve gone home with anybody that night’! So, thank you! Thank you for my wake up call, Yoongi! You are officially my bottom.”

Yoongi watched her pick up her purse and before he could say anything back she left. He stood there dumbfounded. What the fuck just happened?

She currently stood in front of the house of the other. She was a aware how stupid and embarrassing it was but she needed cocaine. She climbed the wooden to the black steel door. It was already the middle of the night, they front of the house was dimly lit but enough to see the extensive garden that surrounded her. The house was massive, modern and minimalistic. Exactly the opposite of her small apartment. She rang the doorbell and in a few seconds she could hear his steps coming down the stairs.  The door turned instead of opening like a normal door revealing Gong Yeong Woon, dressed in his sleepwear. He was a renounced movie and television director in Korea. He had so much money and he was kinda sexy. She thought of him as some sort of sugar daddy, it was occasional and from time to time he would take her to fancy events. She loved that fancy shit, the food, the drinks, the parties. “Hey you.” she said giving him a sultry smile. “Kiddo,” he exclaimed, “What a surprise.” “I was just in the neighbourhood, I figured why not drop by.” “I have an early call time but… yeah, come in. Last time you said you were coming over you never showed, I thought you’d grown sick of me.” “Nah, you’re alright.” She said smirking. She had been here countless of times before, but somehow she felt a bit awkward tonight. Like if something was wrong. She shook her head erasing the thought. “You’re so beautiful,” he said placing his hands on her jaw  and pulling her in for a sloppy kiss. At first Y/N Kissed back, but she couldn’t help but feel a bit out of place. She opened her eyes and grimaced a bit at his touch. She slowly backed away from the kissed and gave her a kiss in her temple. She gave him polite smile and walked inside. She couldn’t get that annoying fuck out of her head. How could she even go home with him? Well, she was drunk and he was kinda hot. It was so irritating. “Oh- fantastic!” She heard Yeong Woon moan. She found herself bobbing her head down on his cock underneath the white sheets of his king sized bed. She tried to enjoy what she was doing but all she could think of is stupid Min Yoongi with his stupid attitude.

Yoongi took a gulp of his whiskey and return to the video game he had been playing for at least two hours now. The sounds of guns and explosions tore through the house while hip hop music played in the background. Besides him, the kid from earlier sat on the floor so he wouldn’t damage the clean couch, playing as well.

“Hi,” Jungkook said giving the kid a strange look, but quickly turning to his friend. “You busy, Yoon?”

“Yup,” Yoongi answered, eyes glued to the screen.

“Well, would you like pause it for a second?” Jungkook asked a bit annoyed by Yoongi’s attitude.

“Nope.” He simply replied. Jungkook walked to him and took away his remote. Yoongi turned his attention to him.

“What’s wrong with you dude? Give me the controller,” he demanded extending his arm. Yoongi had a shitty day and didn’t want to deal with Jungkook’s shit right now, so he launched himself at Jungkook in an attempt to get back his controller.

“I’ve watched you for two years,” he started pushing Yoongi back onto the couch. “Two year now, getting girls to come home with you and they’re always gone in the morning.”

“Sorry, I can’t help it if she refused to leave!” Yoongi shot at him. “Now, give me my controller.”

“No.”

“Fine,” Yoongi said taking the other controller from the chubby kid. Jungkook let out a scoff and rolled his eyes.

“I’m sorry I have to do this,” he said before putting Yoongi under a chokehold. “Now, I don’t mind you being jerky with me because I know you care-”

“What the- No I don’t!” Yoongi exclaimed gasping for air. He felt the blood rushing and the air escaping him. Of all the mistakes he had made in his life the one he regretted the most right now was letting thing crazy junkie live in his house.

“Yes, you do.”

“Your an animal, there’s a fucking wild animal living in my fucking house!” Yoongi started to trash around trying to get out. When the hell did Jeon fucking Jungkook get so strong?!

“But Y/N stayed, Yoon, she stayed.” Jungkook continued. “You say she forced you, but we both know there’s not a single person on this planet that’s ever had a good outcome trying to force you to do anything. She stayed, man! And that means something, whether you like it or not. Imma let you go now.”

He’s right. Those words tore inside Yoongi’s brain. He stumbled back. No, it doesn’t mean anything. She doesn’t mean anything. He’s wrong. “Why the fuck would I listen to you? You’re a mental case. You’re like a million medications that all say ‘Take for bat shit craziness’!”

“My family was killed in front of me,” Jungkook muttered, The elder’s words stabbing him like knives.

“So?! People die every goddamn day. And you were like fucking eight!” Yoongi kept spitting.

“Mental illness is not a joke Yoongi, a lot of people suffer from them and just because I suffer from one doesn’t mean you get to tear me down for it.” Jungkook answered calmed down.

“That is the most intelligent thing you have ever said to me.” Yoongi pointed out.

“Thanks,” Jungkook smiled

“You’re still a lunatic,” he said walking away.

“Hey, wait. Come one man!” Yoongi ignored him, he needed to get out. He need space to think.

“Where are you going?” Jungkook called out.

“To a bar,” Yoongi turned around, “where I can drink in peace. “Come one, Oon Jong Joon!”

“I’m 14,” the kid pointed out. Yoongi let out a groan and walked out slamming the door. Jungkook quickly took the controller he had dropped on the floor and started to play happily, he had done his job as a friend. Yoongi was an asshole but he listened even if he pretended not to.

“Call the police,” Yoongi said walking back to the house. “Someone stole my car.”

“Nah, Y/N took it,” Jungkook said moving forward to concentrate better on the game

“Sorry, Y/N took my car?” he said with disbelief.

“Yeah, I saw her driving it away earlier. I figured you loaned it to her.” He paused for a second. “Now that I think about it, it was kind of weird.”

“She doesn’t have a license!”

“Huh,” Jungkook chuckled. “She must have stolen your keys from the counter. You have to admit, it’s kind of a baller move.”

Yoongi let out a sigh, and dropped himself on the couch besides Jungkook. What a fucking day.

“You guys are fun,” the chubby kid, that was still there for Yoongi’s surprisement, said nodding to himself.

Yeong Woon let out a deep grunt as he slipped inside her repeatedly.  Y/N pressed her lips together awkwardly, this was not working out. “Um, hey.”

He lowered himself down so his face would be centimetres away from hers “Yes, Y/N?”

“Can we take a little break?”

“Sure,” he nuzzled their noses together and got off of her. They both stared at the ceiling for a while. Y/N cleared her throat breaking the silence.

“So, what’s the worst thing you have done?” She asked turning to him. He gave her a disappointed look.

“You know I don’t dwell on negativity, since India.” He simply responded.

“Ok, then…” she said before the room fell silent again. She decided to look around  the room but quickly got bored. “I once started a fire at school to get out of a math test.”

“That’s terrible.” He said giving her a weird disapproving glare. “Why would you tell me that?”

“Nevermind, just kidding.” She tried to save the dying conversation but found it to be unsuccessful. “Do you still have cocaine?”

“It’s in the bathroom, third drawer to the right,“  He answered waving her away. She quickly ran out of the bedroom and found herself in the bathroom closing the door behind her. She slides to the marble tiled floor, covering her face with her hands. She groaned and turned to the drawer beside her. Right in the middle of it stood a small yet beautifully carved wooden box. She took it out of the drawer and put it on her lap so she could study her surroundings. It was his take on the millionaire’s modern house decor. The entrance  of the bathroom had a white toilet with a mirror and a countertop made out of dark wood to contrast the white marble, the size of a regular guest bathroom. The main room however, was the size of her apartment. A white Bathtub stood in the middle of the room and had  the size of a hot tub. Most of the room was exposed to the neighbourhood  due to the walls being made out of glass with a door leading to a one of the balconies. She slowly stepped into the bathtub putting the little box on the border. She opened it and revealed a at least 8 ounces of cocaine. She quickly slipped some in a plastic bag and put it in a pocket of her hoodie. She stared at the box for a few seconds before taking the small blade inside, pouring a small amount on the border of the bathtub preparing it into a perfect line. Pressing down the left side of her nose she inhaled the line and felt a slight burn in her nostril. She jumped and the sudden sound of her ringtone going off. “Um, hello?” She answered wiping her nose

“Hey,” Yoongi said taking Y/N by surprise. “What are you up to?”

“Uh, nothing,” she replied shifting nervously on the tub. Why is he calling? “Just.. um.. reading.”

“Well, my car got stolen today,”

Fuck. “Wow, that’s terrible Yoongi.” she said biting her lip.

“Yeah, I’m gonna have to report it to the police. You know, to make sure that they catch the person…”

“Um, I may have borrowed it earlier today,” she laughed nervously.

“I know,” he replied

“Oh. well, sorry. I told you, I’m the worst.”

“No, actually you said that I was the worst and that I was lucky to get you.”

“Yeah, about that-”

“No, don’t apologize,” he stated, “It was a great speech. It was funny and true and mean. My favourite kind.”

“I set my school on fire to get out a math test,” she blurted out, the laughter that filled the other end of the line made her smile.

“That’s genius. Oh, and… I… lied to you,” he started.

“Yeah?”

“I do have a foot thing,”

“Seriously?” she asked trying not to laugh.

“Yeah. In fact, I was just trying to find the right clip online.. so you know.. s-so that I could, um fall asleep. But… nothing’s quite right.”

She let out a quiet laugh, “Oh, do you want me to try?”

“What?” He asked sounding surprised.

“Shh,” she said getting out of the bathtub and walking to the balcony, “Let me think.”

Yoongi got out of his bed and started walking up the stairs. “Come one, this is stupid,”

“Shut up,” She ordered him, making smile grow on his face. “I have been walking around all day in these new shoes, and they are just so… hot and tight.”

He reached upstairs and slowly walked to the quiet and messy living room. Yoongi stopped in front of the wide window that stretched to the other side of the room. The dark sky was illuminated by small stars, he could observe the city from here. All the glimmering lights of the buildings shining through the night.

“Yeah,” He responded, she let out another quiet laugh separating the phone from her face.

“And my socks are so… sweaty.” She made a grimace. She couldn’t believe she was doing this. Was that even right?

“That happens.”

“I think I might just have to take them off,” she turned around to face the pool. She could see the whole city from there as well.

“You do that.” he said enthusiastically. “Hey, you’re, uh… very nice for doing this.”

“I am very nice,” she replied. They stayed quiet for a minute, taking it all in. There was no way of evading it now. “Yoongi, I’m scared of this shit, you know? I don’t like it.”

“Well, um, I don’t believe in it anymore, so…”

“What’s the harm, right?” She said, in that moment she thought she had fucked up. “I mean, if we both know that it can’t work, then there’s no problem… right?”

The line went silent for a minute. A short yet eternal minute. Why did I speak? Of course he wouldn’t go for it. Fuck, why would I even suggest it, I hate dating in the first place. She balanced herself on her toes and swung her arms around while mentally scolding herself.

“Right,” he finally muttered.

And in that moment they both smiled. This can only end one way. They it would go down engulfed in flames destroying everything around them, but right now they didn’t mind.

“So what kind of socks?” Yoongi asked abruptly. She let out a laugh.

“Mmm… knee-high basketball socks. Orange and green stripes,”

“You’re amazing, you’re 19 types of trouble but… amazing.”

“Yeah, so are you. 19 types,” she cleared her throat, “Well, it’s late. Did you finish?”

“I think the moment’s gone.”

“Ok, well, have a goodnight,” she said, “Call me.”

“I will.”

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[4birds-of-a-feather]

Chapter 26 - Man, it doesn’t show signs of stoppin’ [part 3]

Birds Of a Feather

(In the previous chapters: Layla’s stuck at SeaTac and gives a call to WC Boyfriend who, once more, confirms to be the shittiest boyfriend ever; in the meantime, Sara has reunited with her long-lost cat and an acquaintance of her family, but it wasn’t all peaches and dandelions. WARNING: the other super-short update – we know that we had promised you to update sooner, but we were busy with our job, studies and festivities – just in time to wish you a fantastic 2018!)

Sara walked upstairs back to the loft, frantically rummaging in her shoulder bag to find the apartment keys. When she arrived on the landing, she jumped. “Fuck, mr. California! You scared the shit out of me!” the girl angrily shouted, almost dropping her headphones “The fuck are you doin’ out here???” The singer was in fact sitting on the floor, next to the front door – notebook and pen in his lap. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to…” he quickly grabbed the objects and hid them behind his back “It’s just that I went for a walk but forgot my keys on the table, and Jeff’s gone to a party, so…” “No problem: Layla left me hers” she made the keys clink under Eddie’s nose, so the singer smiled and stood up while she made the lock spring open. When they went inside, Sara stopped in the hallway to hang her coat, scarf and bonnet, while Eddie was looking at her, scratching his nape. “Weren’t… weren’t you supposed to spend this day with your family?” he finally asked, almost startling her. The girl gulped, rubbed her blubber eyes and put on a rather convincing cheerful voice, trying not to let him notice her real attitude. “Oh, yes, it’s just-I went to my parents’ house and I noticed that my mom’s relatives from Portland were there too… They’re annoying and know-it-all and kind of churchy too… <Why in hell did I mention Portland? Fuckin’ A, Fancini! Congrats!> … So I just drew the attention of my dad, without making the others notice me, and I explained him that I couldn’t tolerate ‘em, so he agreed and made up some persuasive excuse too… I guess my mum will understand, even if they’re her siblings and shit like that” she ended her monologue and finished to hang all her things, while Eddie was still looking at her. “So… this means you survived” he gave her a warm smile and she did the same. “Yeah, I guess so… Man, I fuckin’ hate these festivities! Hypocrisy flows in torrents” “Don’t tell me… The fuckin’ triumph of bleeding hearts, ugh” the singer soon joined her in that anti-Christmas rant and the two of them quickly ended bursting into laughter. “Glad to see another cynical and black soul around here – the world is too full of retarded Santa’s little helpers” “Man, I hate those lil’ fuckers!” Eddie laughed again, then his eye fell upon a packet full of ribbons that was under the Christmas tree – Sara’s gaze followed his own one. “Oh, you noticed Layla’s work of art…” “… How the fuck does she know that yesterday was my birthday?!” he finally exclaimed, making the girl look at him in disbelief. “Wait a minute: yesterday was your birthday?!” “… SHIT” “Why the fuck didn’t you tell us, Eddie??? You really are grown up in the woods, for fuck’s sake!” Sara scolded him, her eyes plopping out of her head. “I don’t know… I just didn’t want to bother, that’s all” he shrugged, not knowing what else to say. “… you really are weird” the girl sighed, shaking her head “Anyway, that’s your Christmas present… Layla always remembers this kind of things so, in your shoes, I wouldn’t be bothered…” “Didn’t she buy you anything?” Ed asked her, noticing that his pack was the only one under the Christmas tree. “Who do you think you’re talkin’ to??? Of course she bought me something, I’m her fuckin’ best friend!” she gave him a little slap in the nape “But I’ve already hidden it… ya know, with that animal of Ament that freely scampers in this loft, you’ll never know what he could do to my wealth” The guy laughed again “I think I’ll take the risk – I’ll leave mine here” “As you wish, mr. California – I won’t be the one who’s gonna stop you… don’t say I didn’t warn ya” He nodded and started to go in his room’s direction, then stopped and looked at her. “I guess I’m goin’ in my room to listen to some records… Wanna join me?” Sara winced a little, but quickly regained her usual aplomb. “Yeah, why not?” she shrugged “Just gimme a minute and I’ll come” “Ok, great – I’ll leave the door open, no need to knock” The girl nodded and made her way to the bathroom, while he stood in the hallway a few other seconds; when he saw the ringlets at the end of her ponytail disappear, he finally went in his bedroom.  

<Nothing happened – you’re perfectly capable to have a natural conversation without embarrassing yourself… you’re gonna fuckin’ own this, you’ll see> Sara splashed her face, then looked at her tired reflection in the mirror: she could still spot some glitter but decided that her cheeks had already been rubbed enough – oh, and her face was the embodiment of misery. <I’m gonna be fuckin’ owned, ugh – this motivational bullshit is pathetic> She took a deep breath and made her way to Ed’s room, stopping just outside: Quadrophenia had just started playing when she peeped out from the doorjamb. “Am I still welcome?” Eddie raised his eyes from the books he was browsing and gave her a smile. “Always – come in!” he went to close the door and gestured for her to find a place to sit; she decided to take a seat on the floor, near the bookshelf where he was standing before. Soon after the guy approached her, waving something with a playful grin: “What did I tell you? Here, see for yourself” He handed her the infamous Polaroid he had taken with Joe Strummer and the girl sneered. “Since a month has almost passed, I thought you had made the whole story up…” she provoked him, without tearing her gaze from Strummer’s autograph at the bottom of the picture. “Yeah, in fact this photo is false as the fact that in 1977 I saw Springsteen and the E Street Band…” he casually added, going to sit next to her. “… you did what???” “… and I also saw The Who in 1979, when I was almost fifteen years old” “YOU LUCKY BASTARD!” Sara kicked him, making him laugh. “Why, are you telling me you never went to a concert?” Eddie mocked her with an evil smile. “Yeah, in fact Fleetwood Mac in 1980, Cat Stevens in 1976 or Led Zeppelin in 1977 were just hallucinations” “HOLY SHIT!” the guy exclaimed, surprised “Wait a minute, Cat Stevens in 1976? How old were-” “Eight years old, and he played divinely” she smiled again “Anyway, I won’t be jealous about you seeing The Who – Moon The Loon was already underground, I can tolerate it” “Shit, you were just a child! And Zeppelin at nine years old – I’m not surprised you turned out like this” Eddie spoke again, then laughed for her second statement. Soon after The Real Me began to play and Sara’s smile turned into a big grin. “The Ox is fuckin’ awesome here – I mean, I can totally say that he’s my favorite bass player without any doubt” “You love Quadrophenia too?” Eddie’s eyes lit up at the thought of a fellow fan of The Who. “Well, that’s not my favorite album made by them, but my second favorite song that they composed is here, so I guess I have to give it some credit” “Just spit out the title” “Love, Reign O’er Me, obviously” “I knew it – sooo, this means that your favorite album’s Tommy…” “Nope – Who’s Next” she gave him a mischievous grin “My favorite song is there, guess it!” The guy mentally listed the tracklist, then answered: “The Song Is Over, right?” “… you’re starting to impress me, ya know?” Sara mocked him, and he laughed. “Sooooo” after a while Ed cleared his throat “what are our plans for Christmas’ Eve?” “Well, since our beloved chef’s not here… I guess we’re fucked, mr. Surfin’ U.S.A.” “Nope, listen: food problem will be solved with pizza delivery… but what about after dinner?” “Why are you lookin’ at me as if I were the life and soul of all parties?!” “Hmm, maybe we could go out and drink somethin’…” he ignored her and went on with his suggestions. “… so then we would be surrounded by stupid people with their fuckin’ stupid Santa Claus hats or Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer antlers?! No, thank you!” “Or we could reach Jeff at the party he went to…” “You really want a Seattle remake of Silent Night, Deadly Night, don’t ya?” The guy laughed again, then raised his hands in order to declare himself innocent: “Oook, I get it! How about stayin’ at home and watchin’ some old movie provided by yours truly?” “Are you really makin’ me responsible for our pre-Christmas entertainment?” “C’mon, don’t be too modest! I liked Neighbors and I’m sure-” “Of course you liked it, I kept tellin’ you that you’re Belushi’s alter-ego!” Sara interrupted him, while he stuck his tongue out. “… I was telling ya that I liked Neighbors and I’m sure you’ll do a great job this evening too, that’s all” “… Whatevs” “Great! An Italian one, please” “What? Don’t tell me you’ve ever watched one of them!” “Yep, Miracle in Milan” “NO FUCKIN’ WAY!” the girl exclaimed, sincerely enthusiastic “D’ya know that its last scene inspired the E.T.’s one with the bicycles lifting into the air?” “Shit, that’s why I had a déjà vu when I first watched it!” “Sorry, I’ll stop immediately with my movie geek act – I know it’s weird, I just can’t help it” “No problem, I learnt something new” The girl gave him a grateful smile, then resumed her considerations:  “Hmm, so you watched somethin’ from Neorealism… What about Commedia all’Italiana? Err, I mean, Italian-style comedy?” she quickly corrected herself, while Ed smiled because of those few Italian words. “Yeah, why not? I mean, Neorealism is great, but I’d like somethin’ lighter” “Well, ‘lighter’ is not the word I’d use to describe I Mostri, but it’s an awesome example of how great satire could be” “I’m in your hands, I’m sure you won’t disappoint me” Eddie cracked another smile “Dubbed?” “In your fuckin’ dreams, Vedder! I’ve got the subtitled version, this is no place for heretics!” “Yeah, I thought so… I also bet that on March you showed off the Italian flag when Cinema Paradiso won the Academy Award, am I right?” “… you almost got it” was her embarrassed answer, while the guy laughed and stood up to put his notebook in a drawer. “That’s your holy Bible full of personal lyrics, huh?” she asked him, and he immediately turned to face her, as if he had just received a punch in the face “Because that’s what your songs are… Autobiographic, like a diary” Eddie didn’t say anything and lowered his head, and soon Sara was forced to interrupt that awkward silence. “I’m-I’m sorry – I didn’t mean to sound like a bitch but, well!, apparently that was the final result…” she wrung her hands “Man, I really suck with social interactions” “It’s ok, don’t worry” the guy finally opened his mouth again and went to sit on the floor, next to her. “Did all that stuff happen to you?” she asked, after a while. “Except for the incest, yeah… I have lacked for nothing” “… shit” she took a deep breath, trying to clear her thoughts “I’m-I’m so sorry, Ed” “Yeah, I know you really mean it” he said in a low voice, then brought his knees to the chest. “Would my humble singing your praises make you feel a little better?” “Why, did you really like the songs or are you just givin’ me a lump of sugar?” he abruptly raised his head and shot her a nasty glance. “Fuck, do I really look like a person who gives compliments away?!” she retorted, starting to get worked up. “Are we really assembling a conversation by using only questions?” he went on, finally being able to chuckle, while the girl soon followed him – she mentally thanked him for making both of them a bit more relaxed than before. “Anyway – yes, I really liked ‘em, I think you’re a worthy lyricist… At least, the few times I can understand what the fuck you’re singing” At those words the guy laughed heartily and gave her a playful push, to which she answered with another one, a bit stronger. “But yeah, jokes aside: we can totally say that I’m in presence of talent” she winked at him and he thanked her, a bit embarrassed but pleased all the same. When Eddie resumed to talk, I’m One was playing in the background. “Oh, I was almost forgetting to tell ya that I really like your voice” Sara immediately froze, then slowly turned in his direction. “I beg your pardon, what did you just say?” “I said that I like your voice… I heard you, you sing pretty well” “WHEN DID YOU HEAR ME?!” “Well, a few days ago, when we hung out at that bar and-” “Holy Marvin Gaye, I knew that the whole karaoke thing was a shitty idea!” she facepalmed. “… but I heard ya yesterday too, while you were taking a shower” “Fuckin’ A, Vedder! Since when are you overhearing me?!” the girl asked him, her eyes almost plopped out of her head. “Err, since when you’ve started to sing Elton John out loud…?” “That’s because I thought I was alone! I thought that nobody was at home, except me! And instead you were there, lurkin’ like a vulture!” At that last comparison the singer laughed out loud, making Sara even more irritated. “C’mon, don’t be offended! I just wonder why you’re freakin’ out like that!” he tried to ease the situation, given how she didn’t seem to relax. “Because I don’t want anyone to know it, genius! I don’t like it, it’s just a personal thing” “… a personal thing?” “Yeah, a promise I made to someone – someone really important, but that was just a thing between the two of us” “Hmmm, understood” he thought over something, then resumed to talk “My father… he sang too. I mean, that’s what other people told me – I met him a few times, as a family friend, but I didn’t talk to him that much… And then one day my mum took me aside and told me that who I thought was my father was actually my step-father, and that my real dad was ‘that man that once in a while came to visit us, you remember?’ but he had already died, and I-I didn’t know what the fuck I was supposed to do, or say, or think, or feel, and-” Eddie stopped talking and took a deep breath, probably in the attempt to not cry, but Sara had already noticed his eyes becoming bright with tears. “It’s ok, Eddie, you don’t have to talk about it” she carefully put a hand on his shoulder and softly squeezed it, while he let out a deep sigh. <Am I the first one to hear his story? Well, who cares! I mean, he trusted me and told me all these things –  maybe I should tell him about-> The girl’s thoughts were interrupted by the noise of a guitar’s sound box – Ed had grabbed the instrument and now was strumming it absent-mindedly, trying to tune it. “You play guitar?” “Yeah, a little bit… Well, playing is a huge word: let’s just say that I strum away on it” “Hmmm, I see” “You’re gonna make me listen to somethin’, right?” “What?!” she almost choked “Absolutely not – this is a categorical no!” “I’m sorry but I won’t accept refusals of any type” “… are you blackmailing me?” “Hmmm, maybe… you think I am?” “I think so, Alvin without the Chipmunks!” The guy laughed: “C’mon, just a song! It’s just the two of us – nobody will ever come to know this, I promise” Sara rolled her eyes, so Eddie went on: “Silence gives consent… fine, let’s do this!” He casually plucked some strings, then finally had a flash of inspiration and began to play. “I’m sure you know this one, I saw this album in your collection” “Great! Have you searched my bedroom too?!” she hysterically asked him, but he ignored her. “C’mon, be ready! Your turn is finally coming!” the guy played the last introductory chords and Sara finally began to sing, her eyes still rolling. “Blackbird singing in the dead of night, take these broken wings and learn to fly… All your life, you were only waiting for this moment to arise…” Eddie smiled to himself and the two kept on performing the song; at a certain point he slowed down the fingerpicking and started to whistle, imitating the birds chirping, while the girl looked at him in a perplexed way – but then burst into laughter. “The hell are you doin’???” “C’mon, try it – be a blackbird too!” he suggested her, still laughing, and when she emulated him he smiled satisfied “See? That was easy” “… idiot” the girl laughed again, and resumed to sing the final lines: “You were only waiting for this moment to arise, you were only waiting for this moment to arise, you were only waiting for this moment to arise…” Eddie finished to play, then smiled at her. “Well, you did learn to fly… Congratulations on your voice” “You’re just a flatterer, but thanks” she blushed, then cleared her throat “Instead, congratulations on your guitar style! You don’t limit yourself in strummin’ away on it… you play it, Ed” “Nope, I’m not that good” “Have you ever considered the possibility of playin’ in the band? Like, for real” “In the band? A band with three guitars?” “Yeah, why not? Kind of a Lynyrd Skynyrd thing, ya know” “Well, I’m just the new guy – I don’t know if Mike and Stone would agree…” he shrugged “Plus, as I said before, I can’t seriously play it” “Hmmm, as you wish… But, in your shoes, I’d give it a try” “Who knows, maybe in the future? Like ten years from now, just gimme enough time to practice…” “Why, are you really believin’ that you guys are goin’ to last that long?!” she provoked him, and the guy laughed. “No, you’re right – but, in the meantime, I’d be really glad to make at least a duet with you at the karaoke” “No fuckin’ way, I’ll never set foot again on that goddamn place, sure as hell!” “Ok, as you wish… but, sooner or later, you will sing somethin’ with me” he pondered “Like a collaboration… I should seriously write somethin’ for two voices” “Don’t you fuckin’ dare, Vedder! This is a secret, I told ya once and I won’t tell you again: keep your mouth shut or there’ll be big troubles!” Eddie pretended to go along with her wishes and gave her a mischievous smile – then his gaze fell on something that was peeking from the pocket of her sweatshirt. “What’s that?” “Oh” the girl suddenly remembered its existence and pulled it out “Just a mixtape I was listening to before” “Can I?” he extended a hand and she gave it to him “Footprints like puddles – strange choice for a title… I like it” “It’s-err… It’s just a silly title, I wrote down random words” “It seems well put together to me…” Ed fumbled with its case and finally pulled out the tracklist. “It’s just a couple of songs for the days when I get the mean reds, nothing serious” “The… the mean reds?” he hadn’t even started to read through the track titles but stopped immediately “What’s that?” “Well… ever watched Breakfast at Tiffany’s?” the guy nodded and she went on “When Audrey Hepburn gets ‘em, she jumps in a cab and goes to Tiffany’s – and it calms her down, just like that” “Ok, now I get it – this right here is your personal Tiffany’s, right?” “It is” “Then it’s better if I don’t intrude” he quickly opened again the case and started to put away the tracklist, but her hand stopped him. “… Go on, I think you could appreciate it” He looked at her, a bit puzzled: “You sure?” “Yep – go on” The guy smiled and finally began to read it. “Let’s see… we’ve got Leonard Cohen – woah, Ella Fitzgerald! – Brian Eno and Tom Waits… you put The Boss too, awesome” “Yeah, Racing In The Street reminds me of the way I feel when I choose not to open my umbrella on rainy days” “I think he’d be honored to know it… well, you should totally lend this to me, there are a couple of songs in here that I don’t know and I’d like to hear ‘em” he stopped, scratching his nape a bit embarrassed “… of course, only if you feel ok with that” “Yeah – err, yeah, that’s fine… I don’t mind” “Great, thanks” “You’ll tell me what you think about it, ‘kay? And I also wanna know if you appreciated the ones you hadn’t heard before my magic tape came to your rescue” “… you just got yourself a deal” “That’s what I like to hear” Sara looked around, her gaze stopping on the surfboard in a corner, the big waves painted on some walls, the books and vinyls piled on the desk and shelves – a few were also scattered on the floor; she found out that the room really reflected Eddie’s soul – at least, for the little bits she knew about him. The girl also found herself really missing her old chamber, the one that was waiting for her in that godawful mess of her loft, with most of all her belongings stocked there and the furniture apparently put in a random way – when in reality it had been carefully arranged by her. Out of the corner of his eye Eddie clearly saw her sigh, so he quickly tried to introduce a new topic in order to offer her a little distraction. “Say… can you play some instrument?” Sara startled, a confused expression upon her face. “Who? Me?” the guy nodded and she went on “Nope – when I was a child I used to play the harmonica from time to time, but it was nothin’ serious” “Oh, I see – and you got a favorite instrument? One that you really enjoy listenin’ to, and maybe you’d also like to learn how to play?” “HA! Lemme surprise you: banjo, mandolin, kazoo – ya know, all those weird things” she listed, all proud  “Oh, and I love bass too… but don’t tell Ament, pretty please!” “Ahahaha, ok! Pinky swear” he laughed, then they entwined their little fingers and the deal was made “But yeah, really unusual choices… I was expecting something entirely different” “Like what?” “Like… I dunno – violin? Piano? Maybe the harp too… You strike me as someone who would enjoy these instruments a lot” “… I strike you as someone this ordinary? Wow, Ed – you really have a way with words” “Shit, I-I didn’t mean that, I just-” “Relax, I was just teasing you!” Sara let out a carefree laugh “I know that on the outside I may give this impression… and let’s not talk about this squeaky, little voice of mine – it’s obvious that you’d link it to a violin instead of a kazoo” The guy laughed and gave her a playful push, then resumed his observations: “See? That’s why a collaboration of the two of us would be so interesting – and stop it, your voice isn’t squeaky” “You’re the one who has to stop it, Ed! Erase this crazy idea of yours right now or-” “Or what? You’re gonna kick my ass? Punch my cute face with those small, childish hands? I don’t think so, Fancini” “VEDDER, YOU’RE SO GOING DOWN” she roared and threw a cushion at him that perfectly landed on his face. “Ouch! How can such a little person be this evil???” he grabbed another pillow and did the same with her. “You’re one to talk! Beware the mighty Big Foot!” “See?! Well, I’m going to expose you in my next song, which is gonna be this caustic piece about how one should never trust Italian girls with big, brown eyes because in reality they’re Satan’s daughters – and, the good news? I’m so gonna force you to sing some lines, the ones with the nastiest insults” he laughed again, avoiding a cushion “I can’t wait to hear your angelic voice singin’ something along the lines of ‘you’re a sewer rat decaying in a cesspool of pride’…” “Angelic my ass! Stop talking about me singin’, nobody has to fuckin’ know it!” Sara gave him a strong push that made him fell legs in the air, her irascibility growing as she heard him guffaw without restraint. “Ok, ok, nobody will ever know this thing! I swear!” he shouted breathlessly among his laughter. “… nobody will ever know what?” were the words that came out from Layla’s mouth, as she suddenly peeped out from the door.

[drdanwrites]

Magical Office: Episode 5 - The Aurors Visit

Episode 5

(The episode opens with Newt and you sitting in Minister Parkinson’s office. You both sit in front of his desk. The Minister sits with his elbows resting on the desk’s surface while his hands cover his mouth. He has been making fake farting noises with his mouth for a couple minutes. The camera focuses on Newt’s face as he stares awkwardly at the Minister. You stare, completely baffled by the Minister’s childish antics.)

Minister Parkinson: Biggles tells me this is the latest and greatest muggle-joke. Making wind noises to trick others into thinking someone else has passed wind. (He laughs and continues to make fake fart noises under the shield of his hands.)

Newt: Aaanndd… joke ruined. (Newt rubs his hand through his hair) Can we get on with Y/N’s review?

Suddenly a low and slow fart noise can be heard. As the fart noise continues to go on, Newt looks into the camera as it zooms in on his reaction. Annoyance is plastered all over his face though he shows it by having a blank expression.)

Newt: You’re not going to take this seriously, are you?

Minister Parkinson: Eww Newt, that’s disgusting. I mean Y/N is right there.

(Newt again looks at the camera with the same annoyed but blank expression.

Y/N: I’m not quite getting this joke, can we continue with my review?

(You look back and forth between the Minister and Newt, not sure what to do. The Minister gets annoyed with both reactions to his joke and opens the file in front of him.)

Minister Parkinson: Ugh alright… party pooper. Biggles taught me that phrase… it’s where…

Newt: You have to stop hanging out with Biggles…

Y/N: Minister, I think we get the concept of the phrase. Can we please get this over with? It’s just Newt and I have a lot of work to do.

(At this, Minister Parkinson snorts a chortle and looks into the camera as if to solidify a inside joke between the two. His eyebrows raise up and down to convey his message as the camera zooms in on his face. The camera goes back to Newt, who points to the Minister and then back to the camera.)

Newt: What’s this all about?

(The Minister looks up at the camera quickly and then sheepishly looks back down.)

Minister Parkinson: Would you like to know?

Newt: Yes sir, I would hence why I asked.

(The Minster looks like a child trying to get away with something. He looks down at the file and then looks back up at you.)

Minster Parkinson: So, Y/N… how many times have you tammed the dragon? (He giggles like a school girl.)

Y/N:Sorry? I’m not sure what you mean?

(The minister lets out a chorkle. He tries to stop, but he continues again. Newt and you continue to be confused. He finally calms down and then and tries to act serious.)

Minister Parkinson: Has Newt asked you to tame his dragon? (He cracks up into another chorkle and hides his laughter beneath his cupped hands. Newt and you have disgusted faces.)

Newt: (Calmly lets out a sigh.) That’s very inappropriate, Minister.

Y/N: Sir, that’s very rude.

(The Minister starts to get annoyed at your responses.)

Minister Parkinson: Oh c’mon! It was just a joke… you know since you two… you know…

(The Minister holds up his hands. He holds his right pointer finger out and makes his left hand into a circle. He slowly starts to bring the two together. Newt quickly lunges forward knowing where the Minister is going. He quickly censors the gestures by covering the Minister’s hands with his own.)

Newt: I think it’d be in your best interest to continue this meeting without anymore jokes, Sir.

(The Minister’s laugh quickly dies as he sees how serious Newt is.)

Minister Parkinson: Alright, well Y/N it seems Newt’s report on your progress seems fine and his mishaps have severely dropped in numbers…except that one day….

Y/N: I had no idea he snuck that Hippogriff into the men’s room.

Newt: I’m right here. Clearly visible…

Minister Parkinson: I feel fine with your performance and if you both do start hooking up, could you not do….

(Newt quickly stands up and pulls you out the door.)

Newt: Okay… we’re done here. Thank you Sir.

INTERVIEW WITH MILTON

Milton: Today is Auror Shadowing Day. A day where some appointed Auror’s take a break from their cases for them to get to know and shadow others in the ministry. This day is the most important and exciting day of my life, only second to my date of birth. I do not get nervous or excited. I do not celebrate muggle christmas nor St. Patricks day but every year I anxiously await Auror shadowing day.

(The camera shows Milton going around the office making sure everything is perfect. He walks around, flicking his wand at imperfections around the corridor. The camera shows Claire sitting at her desk, reading over paperwork, her green stamp and pad sitting next to her. Milton walks by her and flicks his wand at her and a black sheet covers her. She screams as she tries to untangle herself from the sheet and falls over her chair onto the floor. The camera shows Rodger in the background looking up from his work confused. Claire’s chair legs and feet are the only things that can be seen. Rodger shrugs and goes back to his work. Milton then makes his way to Newt’s door and flicks his wand at it. The door is instantly boarded up and has ‘CAUTION’ tape all over it. Milton chuckles as he goes back into his office. The camera focuses above the door where there is a bland black and white banner that says “WELCOME FELLOW AURORS”. )

END OF MILTON INTERVIEW

(The next scene shows Newt and you in his case, a place where you both thought the camera’s couldn’t see you both. Newt stands by the Occamys and begins to feed them. You walk up behind him and wait for him to turn to you. His face glows as he sees you.)

Y/N: So that was very interesting.

(You both laugh awkwardly. There is a thick sense of chemistry between the both of you. When the laughter quickly fades, Newt takes your hands in his. The camera secretly zooms in on your fingers interlaced.)

Newt: Y/n, I think there’s something we’ve been dancing around and I think we should address it.

Y/N: Really? (You slyly smirk.) You hate dancing.

Newt: (He smiles at your joke) Yes, exactly why we should address this later, here. Please.

Y/N: Of course. I have to go up and meet Thaddeus. Save me a seat at lunch.

The camera catches Newt give you confirming gently hand squeeze as you start to walk out of the case.

( The entire corridor stands in the hallway. Milton is antsy with anticipation. He prances back and forth on either foot, which makes him continually nudge Bridgets side as she stands next to you. You are taking Newt’s place as he is very busy with his work today. Bridget looks royally annoyed at Milton and dramatically rolls her eyes.)

INTERVIEW WITH BRIDGET

Bridget: As if Milton wasn’t annoying and awkward already. This happens every year. It’s because of one of the girl aurors. Her name is Angelica or something, he’s in love with her. But he’s never actually said anything to her. He freaks out.

(A segment shows Angelica standing around talking with Bridget and Claire. A sneeze is heard and the three look around trying to find the source. When they can’t produce a culprit, they go back to their conversation. The camera focuses in on a fake tree plant, Milton stands behind it and rubs his nose with his arm.)

INTERVIEW WITH BRIDGET END

(Minister Parkinson walks into the corridor with two Aurors. They walk behind him.)

Minister Parkinson: Okay, we all know how this works. Thaddeus, you are shadowing Y/N. She is works as Newt’s assistant in our Beasts Department. Angelica, you’ll be shadowing….. Milton in our misuse of Magic department.

(Milton lets out a sigh and faints with a loud thud on the floor. Bridget and you look down at him and back up at the Minister.)

Minister Parkinson: Ughhhh… every year… (He looks to Bridget.) Angelica, you can shadow Bridget until Milton gets himself off the floor.

Milton: (He jumps back up quickly upon hearing the Minister.) No…no Minister, that would be necessary Sir.

Minister Parkinson: Get a grip man. Minister OUT!

(The Minister turns on his heel while flashing a peace sign and continues out of the corridor. Angelica and Thaddeus stand awkwardly around as you and Milton approach the two. The other office mates walk off to their respective offices. Rodger walks over to you and puts his hands on your shoulders.)

Rodger: Watch out for this one, he’s known for being a self evaluated casanova.

(Before you can react to his statement, he pats you on the shoulder and walks out to a meeting.)

INTERVIEW WITH THADDEUS

Thaddeus: I’ve been an Auror for 7 years and I don’t want to blow my own horn but, I’m a pretty big deal to a lot of people here. I’ve got Minister Parkinson, he’s a pretty big fan of mine. It also doesn’t hurt to be an Auror with the ladies. I think I’ve been with pretty much every single witch on my floor. So what’s the deal with this Y/N? Is she single? People in this corridor are a joke. We constantly make jokes about the people on this floor. Like that Biggles guy? Total looney. Don’t even get me started on that Milton guy. That guy has applied 5 times to be an Auror and he’s failed every time. Some people just can’t take a hint… but seriously, is she single?

(He turns in his interview chair to see you outside the room. You are shaking Angelica’s hand while Milton stands next to Angelica hyperventilating.)

END OF INTERVIEW WITH THADDEUS

(You take Thaddeus down into Newt’s case to show him how you help Newt take care of his creatures. Newt sits inside the case’s hut and leans over his bench, scribbling jibberish down and examining different potions in test tubes.)

Y/N:…and this is Newt. (Newt quickly turns with a smile until he sees Thaddeus beside you. Newt nods and goes back to his work.)

Newt: Fletcher. Good to see you are still roaming around the ministry.

Thaddeus: Salamander. How did you get to have such a gorgeous assistant?

(You look bashful as Thaddeus calls you beautiful. You can’t deny he is a good looking man who could lay charm on thick.)

Newt: Just lucky, I guess. If you don’t mind, I have a lot of work to do.

(Sensing the tension in the air, you lead Thaddeus out to the grounds.You take him over to the Graphorns. They rush over at the thought of being fed. Thaddeus looks at them like they the most disgusting things he’s ever seen. The little one tries to give him kisses with his tentacles and Thaddeus quickly pulls his hand away and constricts his face. You look over at him.)

Y/N: Oh, he’s just looking for some love.

Thaddeus: Ummm… yeah that’s not my thing… you… on the other hand.

(Thaddeus gets a little closer to you. His eyes try to stare you down and try to pull you in with his charming looks. You uncomfortably move away and continue to talk to him about what work goes into taking care of the Graphorns. You can tell he isn’t paying attention as he moves a strand of hair away from your face. Immediately you turn and move onto the next creature. As you walk away, he chuckles at your shyness and saunters to follow you. The camera focuses over to the hut, Newt leans into the doorframe, watching the interaction between Thaddeus and you. He is obviously not amused by Thaddeus’s advances towards you and begins to walk down the hut stairs when he suddenly stops. He runs a frustrated hand through his hair and stomps his boots back into the hut.)

INTERVIEW WITH NEWT

(Newt sits in the interview. His right knee bounces up and down impatiently. His left hand is positioned with his pointer finger over his lips, his thumb braced against his cheek. He thinks before he speaks.)

Newt: I know him, yes. I have seen him around the office with different women and I’ve seen how he treats them. I’ve never used the word hate…but I hate that man.

END OF NEWT INTERVIEW

(The camera goes back to Thaddeus and you. You are feeding the Mooncalves. Thaddeus stands by you and runs a finger up and down your shoulder. You look up to see the camera watching this and you quickly move and hand him the bucket. As you walk away the mooncalves begin to jump up at Thaddeus, trying to get food out of the bucket he’s holding. As you return with another bucket, the Mooncalves have taken Thaddeus down. For a second you watch and silently laugh. You then take pity on him and help him up. )

(The next scene is Milton and Angelica sitting in his office at his desk. He has a misuse of magic form and is going through what he uses it for with her. They sit very close together and occasionally they touch arms and apologise to each other.)

Milton: This section lets the ministry know what the reason was… (He accidentally touches her hand. They linger for a moment and then quickly part)

Milton: So sorry.

Angelica: That’s quite alright, I was in the wrong.

Milton: No no… It was me….

(Their faces are close together but before they can kiss there is yelling out in the corridor. Angelica and Milton look to the door . Milton immediately gets up and Angelica looks after him like he is the world’s greatest superhero, she quickly follows behind. The camera follows Angelica out into the hallway. Newt, Thaddeus and you seem to be having a confrontation.)

Milton: What is going on out here? What’s happening?

(Newt and Thaddeus are squared off to each other. Newt is visibly angry at Thaddeus and Thaddeus has a amused expression on his face.

Thaddeus: Newt is having a little tantrum.

Y/N: He tried to kiss me! Not to mention all the little touches. I told you, I’m not interested! You’re a dirtbag!

Newt: The woman told you she wasn’t interested. What in your right mind thought she’d want you to kiss her?

Thaddeus: I can’t believe you’re defending her. She’s an assistant. (He pauses and suddenly throws back his head and laughs) Oh my God. (He laughs again at the fact that Newt has apparent feelings for you.) Do you really think you’re man enough for her?

(With a flash, Newt’s fist connects with Thaddeus’s face. With all the commotion, everyone has gathered into the corridor. As Newt’s punch leaves damage on Thaddeus’s pretty boy face, everyone lets out a shocked gasp. Thaddeus hold his face in his hand. The camera focuses on your reaction as you bring both your hands to your mouth.)

(Newt sits in the Minister’s office. Minister Parkinson is rarely serious. Newt sits actually nervous to be before the Minister.)

Minister Parkinson: I will give you this, Scamander… I didn’t think you had it in you, especially slugging a Auror… especially one so popular. While I agree with your actions in this instance, I have to give you a mark against your record.)

(Newt nods, thinking and clearly not present. He stands up to leave but the Minister’s slight cough turns him around.)

Minister Parkinson: Newt, listen. We don’t care if you date her, but it just needs to be disclosed to WR. For reasons like this very situation. Is she worth losing your job over?

(The office is empty and silent as Newt opens his office door and shuts it. The room is dark except for a dimmed desk lamp on your desk. You sit at your desk sitting back into your chair. At the sound of Newt walking in you quickly stand up. Newt just stands by the door, his blue jacket draped across his arm as his hands are deep in his pockets. He quietly places it on his desk in front of him. His silence makes you nervous.)

Y/N: What happened? What did he say? My God did you get fired?

(Newt still quietly stands by the door, he watches you intently. Without warning Newt walks up to you and takes you in his arms. His lips slip down to yours as his embrace tightens slightly. You melt into his body and react to the kiss. You bring your hands up to his hair and hold him. After sometime, Newt and you part. Your lips tingle from the contact. Breathless and glazed, you both smile at each other and gasp a laugh.)

Newt: I’m sorry… I just… I had a whole speech planned about how much I love your laugh, your wit and your beauty. How I can’t stop thinking about you whenever I’m without you. I fell for you so fast and I just, I want this to be a more serious relationship.

(You smile at him excited to have finally sealed the deal.)

Y/N: That speech was amazing, but I think the kiss said all of that.

(Newt smiles and throws back his head and gives a quick laugh. He looks back down at you and runs a thumb over your cheek.)

Newt: So should I continue the speech or just go back to saying nothing at all.

(You answer him by going back into the kiss.)

[thirstyfortom]

High School Band AU: Chapter Two

There you go, fellas! Time to meet the band buddies! I’li be back with some scenarios a little later! See ya ;)

Okay, if anybody ever asked you how you would imagine spending your Saturday afternoon, the last thing you could ever think would be having a sack over your head on this very hot room. Where are you? In a basement?

“Fellow members, we are assembled here today to confer the honor of initiation upon MC. May her voice guide us through a victory without precedents in Daykey High School’s history. May her talent and charisma lead us to a journey of paying gigs, whether in money or in coupons from the donut store.”

“Or in tepid beer.”

“Thank you, fellow member Zen. Let your wishes be granted as well. Now, may the chosen one step forward.”

Oh… is he… is he talking about you? You step on what you think it’s forward.

“Oh, chosen one, let your voice be heard!”

“I… don’t really know what you want me to say.” Your voice is muffled.

“Saeyoung, I think we got it. Just take this out of her face before she asphyxiates.” The only female voice besides yours speaks.

“But… she didn’t even drink the blood!” Saeyoung whines.

Now you know this initiation ritual apparently was Saeyoung’s idea, you’re worried about having to drink actual blood. Who knows? That guy felt a little crazy, finding you behind the curtains like a sniffer dog looking for drugs, and talking about biting you… yeah, you know it was a joke, but… who knows? The guy is weird…

“B-blood?” you take the sack out of your head.

“No! You can’t take it off before Jumin makes your welcoming official.” Saeyoung whines dramatically.

“She’s welcome, just get rid of the sack.”

“Ah, you’re no fun! Here, just drink the blood. Don’t worry, it’s wine. Actually, don’t worry, it’s grape juice. Yoosung couldn’t buy the wine.”

“I told you to send Zen.”

“Yeah, yeah, lesson learned… so hey! Welcome, MC! Are you excited to be joining us?”

“I was excited when you texted me, then you put this sack over my head and basically kidnapped me, and I’m not excited anymore.” You hear some chuckles from Zen and… Jumin? The intimidating brunette just laughed of your little joke?

“Too bad, you should be excited about joining the jewel in the crown of Daykey High School! The amazing band Mystic Messenger!” yeah, you didn’t get used to the name yet…

“It’s pretty cool, indeed. I hope you can forgive Saeyoung’s methods and enjoy where you find yourself right now, MC.” Zen says, it’s the first time he sounds serious and not like trying to desperately say something flirty… it’s pretty comforting.

“Thank you… I… honestly thought you would never want to see my face after the way I behaved. It was childish…”

“Don’t forget foolish.” Jumin adds.

“And kinda of overdramatic.” That coming from the guy who was talking about drinking blood for a initiation ritual a minute ago?

“Yes… it was a bitchy behavior. And I apologize to you all, but mainly to you, Jumin and…” you look around trying to find the other twin, but he isn’t here.

“I’ll forgive you when we win the festival.” Jumin says bluntly. Uhm… he is still pretty mad, isn’t he? So why did he even agree on you joining the band?

“The festival?” you ask curiously.

“Yes, the winter festival for high school bands! It’s so cool!” What’s the blonde’s name again? It was a pretty name… Y-Yoosung, right? Yoosung seems to be the type who gets super excited easily, usually people like this annoy you, but he also seems so sweet, totally the boy next door, and definitely not annoying at all.

“We participated last year and placed second, but things were a little different, we had a different vocalist and a different bass player.” Jaehee explains. Oh yes… V was the bass player and created the band. Which one here plays the bass now? If you had to guess… Jumin?

“And you’re counting on me to win this year?”

“Basically, yes.”

Wow, it hits you like a rock. This group of people is really betting on you to get for them something they let slip away before… they… trust you. And they don’t even know you that well… when was the last time somebody hand you something so important and meaningful? No, actually, did this ever happen before?

“But no need to feel pressured, sweetheart. We still have time to rehearse and get you ready. If you ever feel burdened, come to me, okay?” hum, the Zen’s flirty tone is back again… or maybe he’s just like this and doesn’t even notice some people can really take him seriously… are you taking him seriously?

“Yes, if she’s burdened, the first thing she would need is your constant urge to make a move on freshman girls.” A-ha! Jumin is thinking the same as you, he just puts it on a more intellectual way. By the way… why does he talk so formal? It’s funny…

“Ahem. Anyway, MC, just know we’re not waiting for you to just get up on that stage and slay, you’re talented, but you also need practice, we all do. And we will practice and walk through this together. “ Ah… Jaehee, you thought she was one of those really mean ice lady like girls, but… she’s super nice. What instrument does she play?

“Well, I’m not worried.” Yes, you are. “Progress, not perfection.”

“This sounds like an AA mantra…” Saeyoung teases you.

“Well, Saeyoung, the first step is admitting you have a problem, yours is making nonsense jokes about alcoholism.” He widens his eyes, uh oh… is a comeback coming? Wait for it…

“Yes, you’re right. Alcoholism isn’t funny.” He scratches the back of his head, visibly considering what you said. Uhm… maybe he isn’t as impossible as you thought.

“Alright then. She’s officially in…”

“She’s not, she didn’t drink the blood.” Saeyoung says, going back to what you know him for.

“I don’t give a damn about the blood. Anyways, welcome, MC. We’re glad to have you here, well, not exactly here in Yoosung’s basement, but we’re happy to have a new and promising vocalist.” Jumin says and smiles softly. Oh… he knows how to smile! Would you look at that!

“Thank you. I’ll do my best, I mean it.” Yes, you do.

“Oh, no sarcasm this time? That’s a good start… progress, not perfection, right?” what’s with Jumin and his sudden change to a nice guy? “Okay, late introductions, I’m Jumin Han, the current bass player.” You knew it!

“You already know me, right?” Yes, Zen… we all do… “I’m Hyun, call me Zen, I play the electric guitar, but I can also sing. I hope I get to do all the duets I couldn’t do with you in the musical theater club.” Don’t blush! Don’t blush! Don’t blush! Shit, you’re blushing.

“Yoosung, keyboards.” It suits him… so that means he also plays piano? How cute… you woul like to watch him playing piano one day…

“Saeyoung, your DJ, costume designer, make-up artist, lighting guy and roadie at your service, my lady.” Wow, he surely does a lot! Wait… costume designer? Shit! Your mind doesn’t even want to go to the places where you could think what kind of outfit this guys is thinking for you… lord protect you.

“You’re pretty versatile, that’s cool.” But he’s nice, and he seemed uncomfortable about that alcoholism thing, enough fighting with these people… so you compliment him, giving your most genuine smile, and now he’s the one to blush... cute.

“Yes, the only thing he doesn’t do is actually play an instrument.” Oh, this voice… Saeran comes down the basement’s stairs. He decided to join you, after all. Was he waiting for a good cue to make an entrance? You giggle with this possibility.

“Well, you know what they say, bro, one brother has the musical talent, the other one has the looks, and the brains, and the mojo with the ladies.” Saeyoung grabs your hand and plants a kiss on it. Okay… you weren’t expecting that, that felt more like a Zen’s move.

Saeran scoffs. “Then you’re wasting your mojo, she’s not a lady.” He glares at you and grins. Jerk!

“And you probably don’t have the musical talent.” You answer. Yeah, remember that thing about stop fighting with these people? Forget it, this guy really gets to your nerves!

“Wanna bet? I’ll make you a fan for my drum solos before you even notice.” Okay, so he’s the drummer.

“I’ll be too busy in the spotlight, but it will be fun to watch you try.” He scoffs and grins, did you two just set a challenge?

“Ohohoho, so much tension!This is starting to feel like a real band! I can’t wait for our E! documentary.” You laugh at Saeyoung’s joke. It’s good that he’s trying to light the mood between his brother and you.

“Wait, what about you, Jaehee?” you remember her, she’s been so quiet…

“I… I don’t play anything. I’m the manager.” Oh… interesting, and kinda disappointing, you were rooting for her to be the drummer… she looks so cool and easy-going, so it made sense in your head. But the drummer is the little prick called Saeran… ugh. “So I hope I get to manage you in the best way possible, MC.”

“Thank you. I look forward for it too.” Again, you try to be genuine and not sarcastic, she doesn’t deserve it.

“So everybody is formally introduced. Can we please get out of the basement now?” Jaehee asks, and they all oblige. Forget Jumin, she’s the real leader, she probably didn’t realize that yet…

You get out of Yooung’s basement, he wanted you all to say for dinner, but everybody has to go. Well, you would really like to stay, the food smells good, what are you having for dinner? Maybe your father bought some takeout? Yes, probably… like he does on every Saturdays.

You’re saying goodbye to Yoosung and the twins (just to Saeyoung, you’re basically ignoring Saeran’s presence)

“Are you sure you don’t want us to walk you home?” Saeyoung asks.

“I’m fine. Don’t worry.”

“Okay, but text me when you get home, okay? It’s dangerous for a girl to be walking around by herself…” he sounds adorably serious.

“I’m sure a thug would be more in trouble if he met her on a dark alley.” Saeran says, without looking at you.

“I see you’re still not getting laid, Saeran. I hope you find some comfort on a dark alley one day.”

No comeback? Okay. The twins aren’t really inspired today, apparently.

“Anyway. Bye guys!” you turn your back on them and start walking. You know this neighborhood, your uncle’s girlfriend lives a few streets near. You can take a bus in the end of the street, or maybe you can just walk. It’s a peaceful neighborhood.

That’s what you were thinking before this guy in a motorcycle made a u turn and stopped in front of you. You couldn’t see his face, but you knew he was looking at you… SHIT!

Think, can you run? Can you scream for help? Where is your phone? Maybe you can discreetly dial the police number? They wouldn’t get here in time… screaming seems stupid, so… run?

You back away, run! Why aren’t you running, stupid? Is this what being paralyzed in fear looks like? Shit! Your legs feel weak…

“Hop on. We’re going for a ride!” that’s what he probably says as his voice is muffled due to the helmet, also, it sounds creepy enough to his image right now.

“I- I have pepper spray!” Here… somewhere… ugh! You hate to admit your father was right about letting the pepper spray accessible at any situation.

“Pepper spray? Oh, wait… MC, don’t…”

“How do you know my name?” a stalker? How did you even get one?

“MC! It’s me!” he takes his helmet off. Oh… it’s just Zen. And he looks… pretty sexy. Hold on! Weren’t you shitting yourself in fear a minute ago?

“Shit, Zen! You scared the shit out of me!” Stop saying shit!

“Sorry, MC. I didn’t mean to. Come on… I’ll give you a ride to your house.”

“Do you know where I live?” okay, so maybe you do have a stalker.

“Uhm… no? I was hoping you would tell me?” Of course, stupid! Now he thinks you’re a paranoid little crazyhead.

“I… do you have a license?”

“You don’t have to be scared, I’ll go slow if you want to.” He didn’t answer the question… but hey, you got lucky once, will you really risk yourself walking alone again?

“Fine.” You go to him, and he hands you a pink helmet. You’re definitely not the first girl taking a ride, huh? “But you don’t really need to be slow, I… I’m not scared.”

He smiles widely. “I was hoping you would say that.”

Again, this was not what you expected for your Saturday afternoon, it ended up a little better than you could ever imagine.

← Chapter One | Chapter Three  →

[hrrysbitch]

The Model - Harry Styles One Shot

(mature)

+++

“You need to rock this runway because there are going to be tons of celebrities and designers looking at y- hey! Are you listening?!”

I laugh at my agent as she looks horrendous in this new Snapchat filter I’m filming her in. I immediately post it and watch her staring down at me.

“I’m being serious” She says to me.

We finally get out of the car and proceed to the building where the fashion show is being held. We have about 5 hours before the actual show. I finish my coffee and throw it in the bin and head straight to the dressing room.

My agent, Stacy tells me, “I’ll be sitting outside. Behave”

“Okay, okay, I’m not a child” I reply as I undress. She gives me one last raise of the eyebrow and leaves.

    It’s finally here. The buzzing sound from a crowd of people coming from outside. Every fashion show I’ve done, I get more and more nervous when the start of the show nears. It doesn’t help my nerves at all, the fact that I’m OPENING the show. People will be staring at me up and down and take pictures. I remind myself that I’ve done this a dozen of times and that not to make it a big deal out of it.

All my fellow models line up behind me. I don’t really know the rest of them. I didn’t get the chance to talk to them either since they were so caught up in perfecting their walk during rehearsals.

I finally take my first steps in my opening. I’m wearing a casual, loose outfit with a hat. Everyone is here, the Beckhams, Kim K, etc.

When I reach backstage, I speed to the rack of clothes and undress for my next outfit. Next outfit was a long dress with a lot of cleavage. I change into that and return to the rest of the models. When I come out, everyones snapping pictures. I feel Stacy’s stare it me, in the middle of the audience.

When I get back, the lady helping me dress tells me, “I see someone has eyes on you” with a smirk.

“What? Who?”

“Who else? Harry Styles himself. It is already November, he’s expected to be with someone around that time” She chuckles and buttons the front of my shirt.

“Harry who?” I ask with confusion.

“Boy band” She helps me fix my hair.

“Oh, him” I’ve heard so much about him. He dated one of my friends and heard he’s a bit of a player. He’s all about smooth talk and smooth hair.

I’m definitley not too naive for him.

    We take a group picture backstage and a lady comes up to me.

“Someone wants  to talk to you” She says and points behind her.

I reach a corner and when I turn, I’m greeted with a flirtish smile and greedy green eyes. He puts out a hand for me.

“Harry Styles. You must be…?”

I take his hand but return with no smile. “Hi, I’m-“

“Beautiful” He pulls my hand toward him. “Already knew that”

A wink. Really?

“Huh. And how many times have you used that line?” I slip my hand away and cross my arms instead. I see he went here wearing a black suit from what I’m guessing is from designer as well. But it looked unusual since his inner white collared shirt is unbuttoned halfway, enough for me to see his midsection and… butterfly?

“What do you mean?” He smiles innocently at me and licks his plump bottom pink lip.

“Harry Styles, you are a funny man. It was nice meeting you but I think my agents waiting for me” I was about to turn my back to him but he grabs my arm and SWOOP we’re chest to chest.

“What are you doing?” I frown at his stupid smiling face and use my hands on his chest to create distance. Thank god, we were alone. Everyones too busy talking and taking selfies.

“I want to take you out on a date”

I laugh and shake my head. “You barely know me”

Harry shrugs and a brown curl hangs off on his forehead. “I want to”

He’s sweet, handsome and…

WAIT.

I heard everything about him. He does this all the time. Models are his targets from what I’ve seen. He says all these things all the time. He doesn’t really like me. He likes a womans attention.

“I’m sorry but… I’m not that girl”

This is the first time he’s not smiling since our interaction. “What do you mean?”

We look at each other silently. Way to make it awkward. I hear my name called. It’s Stacy.

“I have to go”

Harry grows desperate. “Please, can I at least have your number?”

I look at his puppy green eyes one last time. Player, player, player.

“I’m sorry”

Next day

  “Iced coffee please” I tell the bartender and lower my cap and adjust my sunglasses.

I woke up early to go for a jog. I stopped by a coffee shop to get my favorite iced coffee. No one recognised me so far. Walking out of the shop, I decide to walk back to my apartment. All of a sudden-

“Hey beautiful”

Harry follows my pace next to me. All he had were a beanie and sunglasses. Jesus, leave me alone! I control myself and minimize the reaction on my face.

“Shit, Harry, leave me alone, people are going to recognize you” I cover my face with my drink.

“You should have told me we were keeping our relationship a secret, love”

“Since when were we together?” Finally, we were nearing my apartment. I had enough of this guy. I walk faster and reach the stairs to the entrance of my apartment. Harry annoyingly follows me.

“One date.”

I stop at the top of the stairs of the entrance. I turn to him. “What?”

Harry says from the pavement. “All I need is one date. Go with me and I’ll prove to you that I like you”

“Harry” I go down a few steps. “I’m not in for games”

He shakes his head and meets me in the same step. “There are no games. I was a big fan of yours way before I met you. I’ve heard what people said about you. You’re kind, you love your fans-“

“And I heard what people said about you too. And-“

“They’re not true.” He says quickly and grabs my hand and squeezes. “Well, not anymore.”

I sigh and look around. No one seems to have their phones faced towards us. “One date. If I still don’t like you, will you leave me alone?”

Harry smiles until theres a dimple on his cheek. “One date. Got it”

  Next Day

  I walk out from backstage and wave at the audience as they cheer for me. I try to ignore the music that they chose for my entrance. What makes you beautiful by One Direction, of course.

I reach the couch and hug the amazing, kind, Ellen Degeneres. As I sit down, I adjust the hem of my dress. The music stops playing the the clapping dies down.

“Thank you for coming” Ellen tells me.

“Thank you for having me, I watch the show all the time” I reply honestly. Nothing can go wrong on Ellen.

“So, you walked in a fashion show, just a few days ago, you looked amazing”

I shyingly laugh and watch as they put a picture of me walking on the screen. The audience claps and woots. I humbly say thank you.

Ellen asks, “How did you prepare for the show?”

“With a Big Mac and coffee” I answer and receive laughs.

“What did you do after the show?” She asks. I think for a bit.

“Back to normal, I guess, work out, watch movies…” I nod.

“Are you sure?” Ellen smiles at me. I smile back as wide.

A picture appears on screen. It was Harry and I talking outside of the coffee shop. I quickly palm my face and shake my head. The audience reacts. After a while…

Ellen: “Care to explain?”

Audience laughs.

I take in a breath. “I’m gonna’ be completely honest with you.” Crowd laughs. “I swear, we only saw each other there and he said hi”

I shrug and Ellen just smiles at me. I laugh at her. Ellen shrugs. “Okay, if you say so”

More laughs.

  Supposed Date Night…

  Fucking Harry. Embarrasses me on T.V. and on the entire social media. Puts me on the spot on Ellen. It’s our supposed date night tonight but here I am, in my sweats, watching T.V. and eating ice cream. Fuck Harry and the stupid date.

“New couple alert! Harry Styles spotted with hottest “It” Girl-“

“Harry Styles out for a jog or out on a date-“

I change the channel to Disney. I’d rather hear Olaf’s love for summer than the mention of Harry.

Someone rings the doorbell. I stand up in sweats and a shirt and check the peep hole first.

“Fucking-“

“Iiiiiiiiiiit’s Harry.” Harry says through the door. I don’t answer.

What the fuck? I thought, because the lock of my door is unlocking?! I step back from the door and brace myself.

Harry steps in and is taken by surprise by the sight of me. “You’re not dressed?” He asks. He’s all ready in his nice dress shirt and sleek pants. I’m overwhelmed by his cologne.

“Why the hell can you unlock my room?” I asked the important.

He shrugs, “You might have not let me in and luckily, lady behind the counter’s a fan”

Why does he think it’s normal? This guy is nuts.

I put my hands together like I’m praying against my mouth. “Okay, Mr. Crazy, I’m gonna’ report the counter lady and ask you to leave now, so…” I say as I motion to the door.

Harry only steps forward. “No, you promised a date.”

“Because I wanted you to leave me alone” Why can’t see he see that?

I see confusion and even anger in his face. “Don’t you get upset with me. Just because girls fall for your cheap flirting and fake smile doesn’t mean I’m falling for it too. I’m am not… one of your puppets.”

After letting that out, I take deep breaths and brush my hair off my shoulders because I swear I sweated a little from all that. Harry steps backward like my words shot him in the chest. He looks at the ground.

“You really aren’t that nice as they say you are…” Harry mumbles.

Shit. He’s making me feel guilty. I have never been this straight forward with someone, especially when it’s about my frustration towards them. I sigh into my hands.

UGH.

“Do you want a drink?”

  +++

  I pour wine into two big glasses. The bottle is kept away and I take the glasses from the counter and bring to the living room. Harry patiently waits on the couch and reaches out for a drink, mumbling a thank you after.

I sit on the cushion next to his. He raises his wine in front of me. “Here’s to you being nicer to me” A smile on his face teases me.

I raise my glass. “Here’s to you being less annoying”

We clink glasses and take a drink. 

Harry says, “Didn’t think you were a drinker”

“Only on special occassions” I smile at him.

He frowns. Eyebrows tighten. “This is a special occasion?”

“This is a date isn’t it?” I sip on my wine.

“I would do better than this” He replies.

“How?” I position myself facing him and fold my legs underneath me in an indian sit.

“Well, I dressed nice, theres that. I would take you… to a private rooftop. There, we’ll have a drink.”

“Then?” I urge him. Were both gazing at one another.

“Then, “ He stands up, sets his drink down to the lamb table next to the couch, and grabs my hand. “I would ask you to come with me”

He pulls me up. He’s holding me with one hand and with the other, he reaches into his dress pocket and pulls out his phone. Seconds later, Ed Sheeran is playing. I giggle as Harry loops my arms around his neck. His hands rest on the top of my sweats.

It’s funny to imagine how we look right now. Him, in a dress shirt and fancy pants and here I am, ruining the dress code.

I feel him in my hands, waist, chest, cheek as his is against mine. I feel where he’s touching, where I’m touching, where were touching. I feel affection. Warmth. Muscle. I feel him.

Harry makes simple moves of swaying side to side which I quickly caught up with.

Harry whispers in my ear. His words hits my ear. “Confess to me. Anything. And I’ll do the same”

“Well, I’m a bad dancer”

He laughs softly and his laughs goes to my ear and down to the rest of my body. He has this effect on me and I ashamedly love it. I also love playing with his short, curly hair.

“Wanna’ hear a good one?” He asks me. “I’ve never danced with a girl before”

“Liar” I roll my eyes at him and lean my head back to meet his eyes. Face to face. Noses almost touching. He has this James Dean vibe where his hair is put together and still has pieces of hair hanging off his forehead and his eyes peircing, intense and intimidating.

“It’s true. I was too shy to dance in front of the… others…” He says as his voice got lower finishing te sentence.

“I think you’re an incredible dancer” I tell him with a smile.

“Look who’s the flirty one now” He taunts me. I laugh and whisper in his ear.

“Wanna’ know my confession?” My lips brush his air as I say, “I badly want to kiss you”

Harry freezes and we stop swaying. Were back to looking face to face. “You really took the flirty comment seriously”

I laugh happily. I kiss him happily. I jump and wrap my legs around his waist happily. His hands cup my ass happily.

I moan against his mouth. I manage to say, “Bedroom.”

He moves his lips to my cheek and nibbles my ear. “Where?”

I pant and fist his hair. I grunt impatiently. “Red door”

As he carries me, I hurriedly unbutton his shirt. We make it to my room and only the bed side lamps are on. My back meets the comforter of my bed. Harry pulls away to rid of his top. Watching him unbuckle his belt and remove his pants, his eyes gaze at my shirt.

I undress along with him. We’re left in only our undies. Harry steps forward, I reach out to him but he takes my wrists and forces me on my back. I lay half naked on the bed and breathe heavily, my chest noticeably thrusting.

Harry stands back up and stares. I can almost feel the concentration of his eyes. I feel them on my chest, my hips, my legs. I’ve never been looked at like this before. Sure in the modeling world, you model in underwear almost frequently. But this was different. He made me feel sexy, beautiful, wanted.

“Lay on your stomach” His voice is deep and commanding. It tingles my exposed skin. I do as he says and watch him over my shoulder. But he’s not looking at me but my ass.

I’m wearing simple pink panties. I wish I should have worn something more sexy. But then again, who knew he was going to barge in my door and sweep me off my feet in less than an hour. It’s ridiculous. I’m ridiculous. I’m crazy about him.

His large hands cup my behind. The rings he wears are cold against me causing me to shiver slightly. He massages and squeezes and plays with my ass until SLAP.

I gasp and watch him spank me again. He groans, “These panties are driving me insane”

I feel less upset about my underwear choice but then my eyes widen in shock once he’s forcing my panties off my body. He crawls on the bed next to me and moves his hand between my legs. I grip my bed sheets and raise my leg to give him space for his hand to explore.

As he pleasures me, he trails his lips on my shoulder and spine. I whimper when Harry stops. I roll my body to lay on my back. Harry is sucking his fingers while I remove my bra. Harry crawls on top of me and envelops my mouth into his.

My legs lock on his waist. He groans into my mouth when I force him against me. His hard on is stiff and my hormones go on a craze. I mumble to his lips desperately, “Take me please”

Harry cradles my face and kisses me one more time before ridding his boxers. He does a push up position above me and positions himself between my legs.

“W-wait, wait” I utter. He looks at me worriedly. He holds my face and his thumb touches my panting lips. “I-I want to be covered”

We make it beneath the sheets and the comforter reaches until his hips. I apologize to him.

“No, it’s fine. I still want to fuck you though” He grins as I giggle and pull his chest to mine.

He does his first push inside me and my toes curl and my thighs tighten. Harry’s face is scrunched up and his moans are strained. His hair is worse than mine and I comb it back and peck his cheek.

My neck arches back as he pounds me continuously. He leaves love bites all over my neck. And I allow him. It’s going to be a pain to attempt to cover it up but I want his mark on me.

Harry goes faster and places my leg on his shoulder. I whimper at the new position and moan louder. Harry is holding my hips and kisses my neck.

Harry lays next to me and we both breathe heavily. We look at the ceiling and catch our breathes.

  +++

  Harry and I are sideways facing each other. I’m stuck on the pillow as he’s on his elbow, head in hand. With his other hand, he plays with my fingers.

“You’re a goddess” He whispers.

I blush and bite my lip because I was smiling so much. I touch his soft, warm cheek. “I have to go. I have a rehearsal”

Harry overwhelms me with soft kisses traveling from my shoulder as he shifts his way to my chest. “They can wait”

Harry disappears under the covers. I’m held down and soon enough Harry has his magical lips on me.

Rehearsals can wait.