#and I didn't want to try anything because computer parts are EXPENSIVE and that's a lot of money to dump on something you're not

[headslikekites]

finally figured out how to analyze dmp files and now I know that the mystery crashes plaguing me for months are because of a faulty gpu ���🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

[icebearpopsicle]

⁠✧Baby Steps⁠✧

(Shouta Aizawa X G.N. Reader)

Warnings: Aizawa is 38 here, age gap (like it's 13 years), smut part is shitty and kinda rushed, excessive use of the word "as" because i literally cannot write, gentle dom, aizawa is kinda overbearing, dub con(?) jus towards the end though,

Word count: 2.3k+ words

Author's note: this is shitty but i hope you enjoy it ♡ ♡/ aizawa is out of character/ smut is bad cuz i am even worse at that sorry ༎ຶ⁠‿⁠༎ຶ/

You stretched your back, hands clasped behind your head, hearing the faint sound of your spine cracking against the support of your chair. It has been hours since you started scrolling, looking for a job, your palm sweaty from holding the mouse. A click here, a click there, and a scroll downwards, then upwards again. You had recently moved here after graduation, and while you were managing well initially, the high cost of your apartment and day-to-day expenses had become too much to sustain without a source of income.

You scrolled further down when the computer screen displayed some words that caught your interest:

Name: Shouta Aizawa

Age: 38

Requirement(s): Babysitter

Requirement Information: 2 kids

Salary: To be negotiated later on

Contact details: aizawashouta@gmail.com / XXXXX-XXXXX

Posted 1 hour ago

Okay, yeah, that was pretty brief, but the timing gave you hope that you might just get the job, so you clicked on his phone number and started typing away on your keyboard.

"Hello, I saw your post about wanting a babysitter and I was wondering if the spot was still free?"

You hit the send button and got up from your seat for the first time in hours for a small break. After about 20 minutes, you checked for a response and opened the chat again.

"Yes, it is. If you're interested, please come tomorrow at 8 am if you're available," followed by a link to his location.

A smile claimed your lips at the excitement of finally landing a job after so many tries.

When you saw his age, you definitely didn't expect him to be this... hot? Which father of two kids is this hot?

"Good morning. I believe you contacted me yesterday evening, yeah?" His smooth, deep voice is like music to your ears as you look at the sleep-deprived man towering over you. Rough stubble covers his face, his hair cascading to his shoulders, as his broad shoulders lean against the door frame.

"Oh... ah... yes, good morning. It was indeed me who contacted you... sir," you reply as he gestures for you to enter his house. You then take notice of his lavish yet cozy home, with toys scattered in the hallway. You both enter the kitchen, and he jerks his head toward a seat at the table with a low hum.

"Would you like to drink anything?" he asks, picking up his mug from the table as you shake your head.

"I am gonna be asking you a few questions and I need you to be honest with your answers." he commands, taking a seat opposite you. His black shirt puling slightly upwards, revealing his wrists as you give a simple nod.

"Firstly... What is your age?" He asks taking a sip from his mug.

"I am 25 years old.. sir.." You reply confidently however there is a frown on his face at your response. Was he... Upset? Afraid to loose this opportunity you quickly try and talk about your past experiences with kids as he interrupts you.

"No, it's not that I just hope you aren't lying about your age"

"Why... Would I?" You ask with a frown enveloping your face.

"I wouldn't believe you to be 18 with a face like that" He replies his tone rather blunt.

Ouch. His straightforwardness stinging lightly.

"Moving forward... do you party, drink or any of those stuff?"

"No, sir."

"Hmmm ... Fine, I suppose you can start working from today"

You give him a small smile as you mutter a small 'thank you'.

"Got any questions?"

"Actually yes! I was wondering where the kids might be so that I could ensure they're comfortable with me being around!!"

He gives a slight nod before replying his voice surprisingly gentle and low when talking about them "Yeah, they're sleeping right now. My eldest son; he wakes up at 9 and my daughter wakes up at 10:30." He gestures to a picture on the mantle showing a purple haired boy and grey haired girl laughing and playing together as you hear the faint sound of him taking a sip from his mug.

"They are so adorable." You gush smiling at their innocent faces. "And could I get some more information on what their personalities are like?"

"Hm.." he hums as he finishes the drink on his mug and sets it down on the table.

"Well my son is 9 years old, Shinsou that's his name, he doesn't warm up easily to people but he is quiet and usually plays with Eri or alone. Eri is my daughter she is 5 and quite literally the opposite of her brother, ahem.. she is talkative and quite sensitive. None of them are picky about their food, they eat anything that they're given and nor do they have any allergies.. and yeah that's about it.." He says rubbing his hands together and you can hear how rough and dry they are.

It had been two weeks since you started working in his house and only then you realised how often Shouta stayed away from home, any free time he got he would spend it with his children, taking them out for activities, cooking for them, playing with them, seeing how close he was with his son and daughter often left you with a smile on your lips at the close bond of the family. True to Shouta's word you could really see the difference in the way Shinsou would behave around you and around his father or sister and somewhere deep down you were a bit upset but you knew that all of this takes time and as long he was comfortable enough to have you around you were fine. But Eri on the other hand was absolutely adorable, she adored you and you adored her, say if you were watching Shinsou and Eri play it was Eri who would call you over and ask you to play with them. Aizawa on the other hand was always kind and formal with you sometimes even bringing takeaway for you, but whenever he was over you couldn't help but just look at his biceps the way they would bulge out from his shirt when he folded his arms, the way his hands would be disturbed with veins when his grip would tighten even in the slightest, and maybe.... Just maybe, you tried to catch his attention by wearing really short shorts or a tshirt that hug your body just at the right places.

But alas it was only you who kept drooling over him....

or that's what you thought...

You were seemingly unaware the amount of self control Aizawa had to practice just not to fuck you dumb on his cock.

It had been three months since you started working for him and you still found your gaze lingering on him for too long, initially it was at his face, then down to his broad shoulders, and then his chest, then it was further down to his hands and finally it was on his......

"Are you sad cuz papa isn't home today?" You hear the innocent voice of Shinsou behind you having counted your sighs since you woke up, which was according to him, around 32.

"No, no of course not Shinsou.. I am totally fine, just a bit tired" You lied, obviously you would. Why would you admit to finding Shinsou's father hot. Other than the fact that you want him to ruin you till you can't form any thoughts. And you definitely were sad that Aizawa was working till 9 pm that too on a Sunday.

Shinsou mumbles an "Okay..." walking away to colour his book that he had been previously doing before being worried about you. A few minutes after he had approached you, your face suddenly lit up as you realised that Shinsou was worried about you, you rushed up to him from the kitchen counter to the living room abruptly sitting down in front of him

"Are you worried about me Shinsou?" You ask excitedly your smile radiant. Shinsou earlier looking up at you looks away from embarrassment not replying, his ears turni red and you just couldn't help the aww that left your lips.

"Awww you're so cute!!" You squeal and your hand automatically goes to ruffle his hair and he doesn't pull away not this time and you realise that he has gotten comfortable with you, at that moment the door clicks open as Aizawa enters the house and peeks into the living room to see what the commotion was about.

"Papa!!!!" Eri squeals noticing her dad in the hallway as she runs up to him and Aizawa picks her up his voice gentle and soothing "Hey my love" He says kissing her on the cheek as she giggles from his stubble pricking her soft skin.

"Sup kiddo" Aizawa comes near you and Shinsou with Eri in his arms.

"Hello.." Shinsou greets him quietly as Aizawa bends down to ruffle his hair.

"All good?" Aizawa asks him and Shinsou nods as he goes back to colouring his book, Aizawa finally looks at you making your heart almost leap out as he gave you a small smirk "You seem happy, what's up?" He asks with a small groan as he puts Eri on the floor and she runs off playing "Shinsou let me ruffle his hair and he was worried about me!!" You reply excitedly your wide smile bringing a low chuckle from him.

"Oh yeah? What exactly were you worried about Shin?" Aizawa questions sitting down to look at what his son is colouring.

"(Name)-san was sad that you were working this late" Shinsou replies nonchalantly and you swear your eyes hadnt widened this much in your life, you feel the heat rush to your cheeks and Aizawa's eyebrows raise as he gives you a quick side glance before looking at Shinsou, he is about to say something when you interject denying strongly. "Shinsou!! I told you I was tired!! Thats not the case!!"

"Or, tired they say" He adds briefly, Aizawa doesn't even get the chance to say anything as you immediately get up picking up Eri and Shinsou taking them to their individual rooms ignoring any protests of Shinsou claiming how he was a big boy and he could stay up late, you argue with Shinsou for atleast half an hour before he finally agrees to sleep even though he was angry at you.

You head downstairs sighing and praying that Aizawa didn't pay much heed to whatever Shinsou said before as you head towards the living room to pick up the scattered toys and crayons only to be met with the sight of Aizawa sitting on the couch and while normally he isn't intimidating the way he sat with eyes closed, arms folded his right leg over his left reminded you of your father and his strict nature slightly intimidating you, quietly you pick up the toys glad that he fell asleep; as you picked the last of the toys you heard Aizawa's voice boom through making you freeze in your tracks "Still upset that I had work today?" You dont reply for a long time not trusting yourself to speak but when you do your voice is slightly shaky "No... No not at all.. why would I be.. you know Shinsou he just says whatever he wants..."

"Oh yeah? Does he?"

"........ okay well not ... Not exactly....."

You mumbel turning around to face Aizawa only to find him standing infront of you as looking down at your compared to his smaller form.

"Well then, answer my question."

You look away nervously chewing on your bottom lip, coating them pink with saliva, Aizawa tries to resist the urge to kiss you but fails as he grabs your face roughly pulling it closer to his, smashing his lips with yours. The kiss is sloppy and desperate and you can sense the sexual tension between you melting away.

You both pull free from the kiss, the room filled with pants, yours being much louder than his, taking in huge gulps of air.

You feel Aizawas arms wrap around your waist pulling you closer towards him.

"My room or the couch?" He whispers in your right ear his voice sending shivers along your spine.

It had been an hour since Aizawa had been prepping you after finding out you were a virgin, where once it burned to even have a single finger of his inside you, now you could easily 4 of his fingers at once.

Yet, tears spilled from your eyes when Aizawa pushes his dick (just the tip) inside you as Aizawa kisses away you tears with soft coo's of 'just a bit more' 'you're doing so good baby' 'it's just a few more minutes yeah, we will start to feel good real soon' rubbing soothing circles in your back as you sink your face into his shoulder blades, his intoxicating cologne filling your nostrils; finally after what felt like an eternity your hole sits down on his his dick as he gradually thrusts into you making you whimper and groan.

"So fucking good for me.. shit... Ugh... Fuck so tight, so fucking compliant.... Shit baby .. you feel so good"

You hear him praise you but you're barely able to register even a single word due to your muddled state of mind, your whines get louder, his thrusts getting more faster and rapid now. He hits a particularly sweet spot as you rise your head to scream at the pleasure coursing through your body "That's the spot is it." Aizawa grunts angling his hips to hit that spot, chortling at your desperate and meek attempt to push him away.

"Cum... Sh...shit... Gonna cum... Fuck..."

"Yeah? Gonna come for me? Gonna come from this cock fucking you stupid?"

You nod your head frantically chanting a mantra of 'so good's', orgasm coursing through your body, your body trembling from the aftermath of your orgasm as you lay limp against his chest.

After what feels like a few minutes you feel Aizawa thrust into you making you whine from the overstimulation

"Cant... No... No please... Hurts..."

You try to push him away only for him grab your wrists with his hand behind your back as he increases the pace of his thrusts

"I am yet to come baby, just a few more rounds 'kay?"

[strawberryblue-blog]

Disaster. Part 1 —Joao Felix.

summary: You see Joao again after he broke your heart and nothing goes as you expected.

warnings: none. enemy to lovers, exes to lovers, many curses, cute, soft.

words count: +2.3k

#SEXYNOTE: Don't worry, there will be a second part of this and it will come faster than you think. Thanks for waiting, sorry for being late. love y'all 💙

The Uber took you to the place you had indicated when you left home, right outside the restaurant where you were supposed to have dinner. Before entering you took your purse and took out a gloss to put some on your lips, it was just a little gloss to look more appropriate. Even though you had left work an hour ago and after a quick shower and putting on the first thing you found, it wasn't like you were ready for your date.

Yes, a date. A blind date that your best friend had set up for you, which you clearly hadn't asked for but had had to agree to when she was so insistent that you come along.

Camila had taken it upon herself to find the perfect suitor for you, according to her. You had absolutely no idea who this was, you didn't even know if it was true or if it was going to be a joke from your friend. She was very insistent that your partners were invisible because she had never really seen you with one. But you had never done anything official with anyone for a long time, you didn't invest your time in men anymore.

You walked into the fancy restaurant, which you allowed yourself to admire as you closed the door behind you. Your friend had mentioned dressing well and you felt a little offended when she said it, but now you understood. Eating here was probably going to be expensive but you could treat yourself for today and if it all ended badly on the date, you would never come to this place again.

"Hello, excuse me" you called to the receptionist. "The table in the name of Y/LN?" you asked at the girl's kind smile.

"Good evening, your table is table 9" she kindly replied checking on her computer.

You politely thanked her and as you turned to go your way, your legs shook. You were nervous and you were not one to get nervous. But the thought of sitting down to dinner with a complete stranger made you hesitate. However, you plucked up your courage and went on your way, spotting the tables guiding you to find your number.

A man's marked back made you swallow your breath. You were a few steps away from him and when your eyes caught sight of the young man with his back turned, you sighed, calming your nerves. I'll just be a while, eat, chat and then leave. «Be nice» You said in your mind. Above all you were going to be polite, whatever your date, you were going to make a good impression.

You took your last steps, approaching the table and when the boy heard you, he looked up at you.

Oh, no. No way.

"Hello, Y/n" he greeted with a smile.

You, on the other hand, frowned in confusion feeling your legs wobble. Damn it. It couldn't be. This was a dream.

"I'm sorry, I think there's been a mistake" you said trying to pretend you didn't recognize it. Your voice dropped and you looked to your sides in confusion.

But inside you, everything moved. This was not true.

"There isn't" the young man mentioned. "Camila wanted to get us together apparently" came back a chuckle.

Damn it. You couldn't believe it was him sitting there. He looked so changed. He really looked more handsome, more mature, like a real man. But in your mind he was still the young man from a few summers ago, the handsome boy who had been driving you crazy since you were little.

"This has got to be a fucking joke," you sigh in disbelief.

Your friend really is crazy, how could she think she could bring you on a date with Joao? The same guy who had rejected you years ago and broke your heart, you hated him!

"You look great" he announced trying to flirt.

"Not with me, Joao" you warn denying.

You don't know whether to be offended by the situation, whether he had been sent by someone who hated you in this life or what was the reason he was here. But he definitely knew you would be here, while you came here hoping to connect with someone else.

You felt somewhat frustrated by what happened that the hunger or anxiety you felt vanished and the urge to run from the place came over you.

"I-I think I should go" you stammered starting to walk.

"Wait!" you heard him yell but you started running to get out of the place.

Yes, you felt offended, humiliated and weird. How were you supposed to connect with Joao if you guys weren't speaking to each other since that day, you hadn't even thought about seeing him again. You were supposed to move on with your lives and never cross paths again. Had Camila lost her mind? Of course she had. There was no other explanation.

You stood on the sidewalk of the place with your head looking sideways, waiting for a cab to arrive as quickly as possible. Damn it! You'd come here for nothing, now you were hungry and a goddamn craving for Joao!

It was clear that seeing him again had had an effect on you, even more so when he looked as fucking hot as he did. You weren't the same as before, now you were both grown up and you had the strength to face him, but he wasn't going to play with you again.

A sigh escaped your lips as no one seemed to appear in the night. Great, what else could go wrong? You'd already ruined dinner, you'd drive home hungry and embarrassed. There were no cabs around and walking was not an option.

Lights flashed in your view as a car approached you, you sighed gratefully. When it parked in front of you, you bit your lower lip with a grimace. It wasn't a cab or an Uber. It was a damn sports car that was worth more than your entire estate put together. It was Joao's car.

You ignored him as he leaned out the window, averting your eyes to the road praying a cab would show up right now. You weren't going to let him drive you home, you weren't going to let him into your life again.

"Stop acting immature, get in" he indicated after a few minutes.

No one had shown up until then. Not even a damn bus that could take you home. But you couldn't give in.

You turned on your heels and started walking briskly, with your head held high and taking it all in. Getting a little further away was a good option and maybe on the way you would find a cab. Beside you, you could see the car start to approach you, and you pressed your lips together indignantly. Why hadn't he left yet? Wasn't it enough for him to see you running out of the restaurant or to ignore him here?

As you walked, the car's lights still shining on you, you could see out of the corner of your eye how he was getting closer and closer to you. You were starting to get annoyed.

"Get in, Y/n, please" he shouted from inside like a plea. "It's late, let me take you home safe and sound" he said again and you stood up with a start.

You hated it. You had done something wrong in this life for karma to pay you back like this, right where it hurt the most. Of course. It's not easy to forget when a man rejects you in your full youth, much less one you liked very much. And he had hurt you so much.

You sigh cursing and grab the doorknob of the car, opening the door to sit in the seat with a serious little pout on your face. You stare straight ahead at all times, not giving him the pleasure of looking at you even though you know he smiled like he had won the lottery.

"Don't say a word" you point out angrily. Joao nods with a chuckle and sets off.

The silence is overwhelming inside the car and you can feel the nerves stinging on the tips of your toes. Your palms sweat and you don't know what to do. There is no music, no words. There are only sighs and the voice of the geolocator pointing the way to your house.

The tension becomes more and more suffocating, at times you find it hard to breathe and your gaze wanders a little to the boy's place. You swallow as your eyes focus on his muscular thighs and you shift uncomfortably in your seat. Joao notices your tension and turns from time to time to look at you, making it increasingly difficult.

Damn it. Through the window you catch a glimpse of his profile and your heart races at the sight of him looking so calm, when you're a mess inside thanks to him. The heat in your neck makes you swallow your saliva nervously, the trip seems to take forever and you start to get anxious about getting home.

A current of electricity runs down your back when Joao's hand releases the steering wheel and goes to your leg. Your breath hitches and you freeze. His fingers dig into your inner thigh and you stifle a gasp in your throat as he gently caresses you. You want to grab his hand and pull it away but you cannot. He's left you speechless. You don't even recognize yourself right now, but the fire begins to grow inside you and you despair that you can't control it.

You're thankful when you start to recognize the houses in your neighborhood, knowing you're close to home makes you feel a little safe. You need to get out of this car before something else grows inside you.

When his car parks in front of your house, you sigh to fill your sick lungs with air. You haven't breathed easy since his hand caressed you and when his hand is removed from your body, the air rushes back into your system. You open the door, staggering, anxious to get out. You listen as Joao also gets out of the car and you watch him from the corner of your eye circle the car.

On his face is a seductive smile, a smile that makes you think he won. Damn it, you should never have let him bring you home. Or let him touch you. «Great, Y/N, you're an idiot!»

When he's close to you, he's leaning against the side of the hood of his car, his hands in his pockets, staring at you. Your body is on its side, you turn your back to him and it's now that you feel humiliated. You have to thank him, it's the least you can do for driving here but your face falls in shame. You hug your body, giving yourself some reassurance and turn around facing him.

"Thanks for the ride" you say simply.

The distance between you is prudent but you know that doesn't ensure you feel your belly contract as you see him there, licking his lips with his exalted gaze on you. Your eyes tremble as they meet his, you try to look away but you can't help but think how cute they are. Everything about him. Damn it.

"My pleasure, Y/n" he says softly. You nod with a grimace.

You make the feint to turn around but stop yourself. You can't, your body acts on its own. You run up to him and kiss him without saying anything. Even though you took him by surprise, Joao rests his hands on your hips and pulls you to him, kissing your lips. Your tongues dance in rhythm, while your hands are busy caressing his chest. The taste of his mouth is still intact in your memory, recalling your first kiss years ago.

When the images of that night that was so special for you (but nothing special for Joao) come into your head, you quickly pull away from him. Your lips are numb and heavy, your heart pounding and the fire in your chest burning.

It was a nice kiss but that will be all.

You won't see him again, you don't want to see him again. This is just part of your mistake in having gone on the date in the first place. Tomorrow you can forget about it as long as you stay away from Joao.

Just like that, you turn and walk quickly for home, escaping his nets before it's too late.

It's not too late, is it?

[queen-of-deans-booty]

Right After All: Part Six

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2.8k

Warnings: slow burn angst, fluff

Summary: A hunt brings you, Clarissa, and the brothers to Disneyland where a spirit is haunting the It's A Small World ride. Next your own bed, Disneyland is your favorite place to go to. You're going to make the best of it even if you can't enjoy it int he way you truly want to.

Right After All Masterlist

Square Filled: road trip (2021) for @spnfluffbingo

Author’s Note: any and all comments are appreciated <3

x

The computer screen is making your head hurt and your eyes burn but you continue with your job. You’re in charge of putting the correct medication for all your patients into the computer so that the doctor knows what to prescribe them. It’s like second nature to you so you’re not really looking at the computer when you type. You’re looking at the paperwork.

“Y/N!”

“What?” you gasp and look at your friend.

“Are you sure that’s right?”

You look at the screen and see that you put down 100 mg for a narcotic when you should have put 10 mg. You gasp and delete the entry before putting the right one in.

“I’m done. I can’t do this anymore.”

“What’s going on with you?”

“I almost kissed the guy I’m into on my birthday.”

“Ooh, spill the tea,” she grins and wheels over to you.

“There is no tea. I didn’t kiss him even though I wanted to.”

“You should just go for it.”

“Katie, he’s with someone. I’m not a homewrecker.” You haven’t told her Dean is your twin’s boyfriend. She’d freak knowing you’re pining after someone you can’t have. You could never do that to Clarissa even though it’s killing you. “I need something sweet to eat. Do you want anything?”

“Nah, I have my snack here.”

“Be right back.”

You leave the nurse’s station and get on the elevator to ride it down to the first floor where the cafeteria is. You get two snacks because you’re feeling extra stressed about this whole Dean thing. You step back onto the elevator, press the fifth-floor button, and wait for the doors to close. Someone’s hand shoves its way into the elevator to prevent it from closing, and you look up to see Dean step in.

“Hey,” you say. “What are you doing here?”

“Looking for you.”

The doors close, leaving you two alone in close proximity. You try to keep your distance but the elevator isn’t that big.

“Are you hurt? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” he chuckles. He likes how you worry about him. “Sam and I are going on a hunt.”

“Okay?”

“Clarissa already agreed to come with us.”

“I beg your pardon? We’re talking about the same woman who asked you to carry her up a hill because she didn't want to get her shoes dirty? That Clarissa?”

“Yeah,” he smiles.

“I don’t believe you. Where’s the hunt?”

“Disneyland.”

Disneyland is one of your favorite places on Earth no matter how old you get. That place is filled with magic, pixie dust, and wonder. You don’t get to go often because it’s so expensive but when you do, it’s amazing.

“Shut up!” you gasp happily. “No way!”

“Yes, way.”

“Are you asking me to go with you guys?”

“Clarissa told me your love for that place, and I figured you need a break from this place. We have a lot of cushion money from the Men of Letters, so I thought you’d like to spend a bit of it.”

“Yes!” You jump into Dean’s arms and hug him tightly. All stress relating to him isn’t there anymore because you’re so focused on this news. “This is amazing! I love that place.”

“I know,” he smiles.

You pull your head away to look at him, only now realizing how close you two are. You barely look at his lips before putting some distance between you two.

You clear your throat. “When do we leave?”

“Tomorrow.”

“Okay, cool.”

Tomorrow couldn’t have come soon enough. You could barely sleep. Sam and Dean picked you and Clarissa up from your place first thing in the morning. Clarissa isn’t too fond of theme parks but she will never turn down a vacation.

“So, what is this hunt about? It’s not every day you get to go somewhere nice,” you say once you’re on the road.

“There are reports from the public that there are haunted dolls in It’s A Small World. People are going in alive and coming out dead.”

“If I have to bet all my money, it would be that ride that would be haunted,” you scoff.

“Of course, Disney isn’t saying anything about it since they want to keep the magic for the kids,” Dean rolls his eyes, “but we’re friends with one of the park managers. He called us in.”

“I’ve always hated that ride,” you mumble.

The drive is uneventful but as soon as you get there, you check into one of Disney’s hotels. It’s going to be a lot easier to get shit done if you’re living in the park. Sam and Dean got a room that’s conjoined with yours and Clarissa’s.

As you’re unpacking, you hear someone knock on Dean’s door. It’s the park manager. The door between the rooms are open so you can hear everything.

“Thank God, you’ve arrived. We’ve had two more deaths since the one I told you about. We’ve shut down the ride. Everyone thinks it’s for maintenance but the victim’s families are starting rumors.”

“Don’t worry. Your ride will be ghost-free by tomorrow morning.”

“You don’t mind if we bring in our weapons, right?” Sam asks.

“No, just make it discreet. I don’t need the other managers or guests to see two big men with guns walking around.”

“Sure. Thank you.”

“I have to get going but I’ll have someone waiting there to let you two in.”

Sam and Dean have everything they need to get this ghost while you secretly pack the gun that Dean gifted you in your jeans behind you. Everyone you pass by gives you weird looks since they are two big men carrying two thick duffel bags, but you make the most of the situation.

Dean looks over at you to see you looking at the rides in wonder. You really do love this place. Clarissa is on the phone talking to one of her friends; something about how her boyfriend took her to Disneyland. There are so many rides you want to go on in such little time. Splash Mountain, Haunted Mansion, Indiana Jones ride, Pirates of the Caribbean ride, and even Space Mountain. So many good rides that are begging for you to ride them.

Clarissa hates going on rides because she claims it’ll ruin her makeup, hair, and clothes. Plus, she’d rather just shop. Not you. You love the adrenaline pumping through your veins and adventure.

“Hey,” Dean stops right before getting to the ride, “why don’t you and Clarissa go on some rides or something while we take care of this?”

You’re not gonna lie. Your heart sunk a bit at this.

“Like she’s going on rides.”

“She’s right. I don’t do rides,” Clarissa says.

“I wanted to see if I could hunt with you?” Dean’s eyebrows shoot up in question. “I’ve been practicing my shooting skills. I have a gun with iron bullets in it. I even have silver ones in my pocket.”

“Sounds like she wants to hunt,” Sam chuckles.

“I don’t mind either, but--”

“Great!” You turn to Clarissa. “Why don’t you go to the front of the park and go shopping, okay? Get whatever you want.”

“I did see some cute clothes I wanted.”

“We’ll come find you in an hour or so.”

“Okay,” she shrugs and walks off.

“There’s no way I’m missing out on something like this,” you say to Dean.

“Alright, let’s see what you’ve got.”

One of the park managers in charge of the section where It’s A Small World is located. He knows exactly what to do since he witnessed people dying at the hands of ghosts. He’s also seen Sam and Dean in action with the manager who met the brothers in their hotel room.

This ride is creepy enough with people in it and music going. With nothing but silence to envelope you, it’s straight out of a horror movie. Even if some of the dolls weren't possessed, you can feel their eyes on you. You take out your gun and Dean smiles when he sees it.

“That’s the one I got you.”

“Yeah, it is,” you smile.

Sam takes out his EMF reader and follows the mystical energy to the fourth room. That has the dolls from Brazil, Mexico, and Antarctica. The two things that can be heard are the beeping of Sam’s EMF reader and the slight sloshing of the water.

“I am never going on this ride ever again,” you mutter.

You pass by a group of dolls that seem to be following you with their eyes. You see something move from the corner of your eye, and you turn just in time to see a knife being hurdled at your head. You scream and jump out of the way, ending up in Dean’s arms.

A spirit smokes out from one of the dolls and immediately charges at you. Dean isn’t quick enough to grab his gun and attack but you are. You shoot the spirit twice with your iron bullets which causes it to mist away.

“Nice job,” Dean smiles.

“Thanks,” you pant. “Why the hell is this ghost here? It has to be attached to something.”

You go split up from the brothers to inspect some dolls on the other end of the room to see if maybe they have something that a ghost might be attached to. Something white is poking out from one of the dolls’ clothes. You pull back the cloth to see a human bone sticking out from the shirt.

“Guys? I think I found what the ghost is attached to. I got a human bone here, at least I think it is.” You grab all the bones you can find and bring them over to Dean who also has bones in his hands. “What the hell is going on?”

“Someone really wants a spirit to haunt this ride. These weren't put here accidentally.”

“Is that all of them?” Sam asks.

“From what I can tell.”

“Okay, let’s burn them.”

You put the bones in a spot that’s safe to burn them in. As Sam is pouring a very small amount of kerosene on it, the temperature in the room becomes close to freezing. The chill running down your spine isn’t from the cold.

You turn around just in time to see the same ghost flying toward you at a high rate of speed. He throws you into the shallow water and keeps his hands on you with the intent of drowning you. You’re lucky you didn't hit your head on the tracks but your back did.

“Burn the bones!” Dean orders his younger brother.

Dean doesn’t want to use his gun for fear he might hit you so he takes out the small iron knife he got from the Bunker. You fight for your life against the spirit, spilling water everywhere. Dean swipes his knife at the spirit causing him to mist away. Without the force holding you down, you shoot out of the water with a loud gasp.

“Shit, are you okay?” Dean asks as he helps you out of the water.

“Yeah.” You look behind Dean to see the spirit back with an angrier face. “Behind you!”

The spirit takes two steps toward you before going up in flames. Your back is sore from where you hit it on the tracks but you’ll live. As far as you’re concerned, there is only one ghost haunting this ride. With it now gone for good, you can rest easy no one else will die on this ride. The manager headed down right away as soon as he heard the job was complete.

“I can’t thank you guys enough.”

He had brought a towel once he heard from Dean what happened, and you pull it tighter around your body. You’re dripping wet but the light breeze and hot sun will dry you up in no time.

“Don’t worry about it. I’m glad no one else was killed.”

“Here, take these.” The manager hands over physical lightning passes that will get you to the front of the line of any ride you want. “I’ll also throw in a free night tonight at the hotel. Stay as long as you like.”

“What are you gonna do about the bones we found? Someone had to have put them there,” you ask.

“I will look into this matter internally. I don’t want to bore you with the details, but if I have any questions, I’ll be sure to give you guys a call.”

You three part ways with the manager, and Dean turns to you now that he has time to look you over.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah. I might have a bruise on my back from where I hit the tracks, but I’ll live.”

“So, what did you think for your first hunt?”

“When can we do that again?” you grin.

“Come on, we should find Clarissa. I dread seeing how much she spent.”

“She probably bought the whole store,” you joke.

Clarissa walks out of the Disney jewelry store when she spots you and the brothers. She has three bags in her hand not including the one she got from the jewelry store.

“Whoa, what happened to you?” she asks when she sees how drenched you are.

“Ghost happened. Tried to drown me. Fun times.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m okay,” you nod. “Dean saved my life. Well, Sam, too. He’s the one who burned the bones.”

Clarissa slinks up to Dean’s side with a smile on her face. Your smile drops an inch as you step away from the couple.

“My strong man.”

“So, what are we going to do now?”

“Whatever we want. We got a free day and night here.”

“Yeah, I’d rather shop.”

“I’ve already gotten my fill of rides,” Sam says.

“Well, I wanna go on some rides. Dean, will you go with me?”

“Hell yeah. Come on.”

Dean takes your hand and drags you away from the group. You barely have enough time to toss Sam your towel before you’re too far from them. They follow behind you loosely while they wait for you and Dean to be done, but that’s gonna take all night if you’re honest.

The more rides you two go on, the more relaxed you get. Dean can see pure happiness on your face and he doesn’t want that ever going away. Dean got you Maleficent ears that you adore and you got to eat some delicious food. Toward the end of the night, Sam and Clarissa are begging to go back to the hotel, but there is one thing you have to go on before you do.

“One more ride. I promise this is the last one.”

“Fine,” Sam sighs.

You drag them all the way to the California Adventure Park where the Pixar Pal-A-Round Ferris Wheel is. This is one of your favorite rides on this side of the park next to the Incredicoaster. There are two kinds of carts on the Ferris Wheel. Ones that are stationary like normal ones and ones that slide on a track whenever they move. Sam and Clarissa like being stationary and enjoying the peaceful ride whereas you and Dean like the other ones.

The ride starts and you look at Dean who is watching the ground get farther from the cart. When your cart gets to a certain height, you slide down the track at a fast rate of speed. When it reaches the end of the track, your cart swings wildly back and forth.

You squeal and slide closer to Dean as if he could protect you if the cart were to snap off the track. You’re practically in his lap and he holds you by your hips so you don’t go anywhere. You can’t keep doing this. You’re falling more in love with him anytime you two have a precious moment. Your emotions aren’t to be toyed with and you hate that you can’t do anything about it.

He leans in only slightly before the Ferris Wheel moves and the cart is sliding again, forcing you two apart.

After the ride, Sam and Clarissa drag both you and Dean back to the hotel to finally get some sleep. You can go on more rides tomorrow. Now that you have some time to think about your situation with Dean, the feelings are finally catching up to you. Clarissa walks out of the bathroom with a silk hairband in her hair to keep it from being frizzy when she shivers.

The balcony door is open and you’re outside just staring at the crowd of people making their way out of the park. She walks closer to the door and hears you sniffling. You’re crying.

“Y/N? What’s wrong?”

“I love him, Clarissa,” you sniffle and barely look at her from over your shoulder. “It’s clear that you don’t but if you do and if you care about him in the way I do, please treat him better. It hurts so much to see such an amazing man go through what you’re putting him through.”

Clarissa doesn’t have any words for you. Whatever she says won’t bring you any comfort so she turns and heads back into the room, leaving you there to cry alone.

x

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[shunin-gumis]

Nagi Hachinoya Novel

Essence of a Bouquet

Track 02 - Assignment to reveal your Akashic Records

The assignment from Master Hideko goes like this:

"Write about your experiences up until this point in your life on your exclusive form and submit it before the next meeting."

However, I'm not good at using computers, an error is guaranteed to happen when I do. I could type, but it's slow and awkward, like raindrops hitting the keys one drop at a time. That's why I asked Buchi-san to write it for me instead.

Daniel "Eehh, I don't wanna. Sounds like a pain."

Nagi "I'm begging you… I'll massage your shoulders for every letter you type."

Daniel "Let's do this."

… I'm glad he accepted it so readily.

And that's how Buchi-san ended up right in the middle of my room, lying down on his stomach while he types away on the laptop.

Daniel "So, you need to write about your life? What's this even for anyways."

He side-eyes me with suspicion as he says this.

Nagi "For the sake of increasing my happiness."

Daniel "….Well, alright. Just make sure you don't join a cult or something."

He didn't seem all that convinced, but at least he went back to typing on the laptop. I close my eyes so I can focus on the assignment.

Daniel "Wait, isn't this giving away too much personal information…?"

While Buchi-san kept muttering about something or the other, I think back on my life.

At the age of 16, I started working at a flower shop.

Not the 'Flower Laundry' that I'm currently managing, but a different one. At the same time as I started working there, I got a license for two-wheelers as well, since I had to go on deliveries.

For someone like me, who's never even needed to ride the train before, my world expanded just a little. If I just tilted the handlebars in a different direction, I felt like I could reach the very edge of the world.

The possibility was right there… but I didn't do it in the end. I have a job to do after all.

Still, I couldn't stop my heart from pounding. I wanted one of my own, but it was too expensive for me.

I wasn't sure how he caught wind of it, but it was around then that a senior from my part-time job told me-

Senior "If you're alright with a hand-me-down, I can give you my old bike."

Nagi "Really?….. Thank you very much."

It was a second-hand bike. He called it a hand-me-down, but it was in a really good condition for a secondhand bike. I could tell he treasured it deeply.

I was so happy and grateful that I'd asked him what I could do for him in return, but he said he didn't need anything. Because of this overflowing happiness, a lion from the nearby zoo broke out of it's enclosure and came after me directly, but that's besides the point.

Nagi "Let's go."

I'd already decided on the first place I wanted to visit after I got my own bike.

Nagi "To the laundromat where I was abandoned."

Having written on the form up till that point, Buchi-san folds his arms and nods his head in agreement.

Daniel "I get how you feel, I would've done the same thing too. I'd try to see if I could find my mother, or at least find some clues…"

Nagi "Yes, exactly."

The first time I went, nothing magical had happened. Or rather, I simply hadn't done anything.

All I did was watch the laundromat that was empty at that time of the day, and went back without doing anything.

The second time, I decided to get off my bike and get closer. The smell of fresh laundry that hit my nose made my heart squeeze painfully tight, so I'd quickly left it behind.

Even though I never found my mother, nor did I get any leads, I couldn't help but visit that laundromat over and over again. On one such day-

Old woman "Oh my, you've dropped by again?"

Nagi "Eh? Ah, um…."

The old lady who'd been cleaning inside the laundromat called out to me. And from the sounds of it, it seemed like she already knew about my existence. Well, I guess that's obvious when I'd visited this place so often now. I'd never even gone in to do my laundry, I wouldn't be surprised if she found me suspicious and yet-

Old woman "You must have really taken a liking to this place, hm? I'm happy if that's the case."

Nagi "Ah, yes…"

The old lady, whom I assume was the owner of the shop, didn't try to blame me or find me suspicious. Instead, she smiled cheerfully.

Nagi "Um, I don't have any laundry with me right now…"

Old woman "That's alright. I guess you must love the smell of laundry too, hm?"

Nagi "Huh?"

Old woman "I understand the feeling. Whenever I caught the scent of detergent within town, I couldn't help but stop to bask in it and sigh at how wonderful it smells.

I couldn't give her an honest response at the time, so all I could do was vaguely nod.

Old woman "Feel free to drop by again!"

By taking advantage of that invitation, I started visiting the laundromat regularly. Of course, this time I actually brought clothes to wash with me.

Mrs.Minemori "Hello Hachinoya-kun, it's quite hot out today isn't it? Make sure you hydrate well. Here's 2 litres of barley tea for you, make sure you take it home."

Nagi "Oh, um, thank you…"

Her name was Minemori-san. She was getting on in the years, but she still held a certain sharpness to her.

Mr.Minemori "Hey Hachinoya-kun, play some shogi with me while you wait for your laundry!"

Nagi "Eh? Um, ok…"

Once in a while, her husband would drop by the store as well, though it was very rare. He would speak in an Edoitte manner, that is, he was straightforward and just a bit forceful.

Nagi "If you could keep in mind that I'm less effective than an AI-bot then ok…"

Mr.Minemori "You got it!"

The couple lived on the 2nd floor of the laundromat, and they had a bluebird that they kept in their living room… I've gone up there many times because I couldn't help but want to see the bird.

Mrs.Minemori "Isn't it cute?"

Nagi "Yes."

Mr.Minemori "Is that chickweed you've brought with you?"

Nagi "Yes. I heard they were good for birds, so I foraged them from the nearby riverbank. But if you'd rather toss it out I'd understand."

I got a little ahead of myself, because I couldn't help but think that if I had people like them in my life, it would be a lot more fun.

Little by little, I couldn't help but be more greedy towards them, as though I were like their own grandson.

Not that I'd know what it was really like.

Part 1 / Part 3 / Part 4 /Part 5

[leiawritesstories]

illicit affairs, 2

PART ONE

Word count: ~2.2k

Warnings: angst, language, degrading terms, mentions of domestic violence

@rowanaelinn once again thank you for inspiring this au, i hope you love it ;)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Aelin swore she didn't breathe for the next four or five days, half expecting to come home and find Chaol standing in the kitchen with that accusatory look of his on his face. He'd worn that look when he told her they didn't talk anymore--when he'd blamed that problem on her. He'd worn that look the last time she saw him.

Then he'd disappeared from the house.

She hadn't seen him in the weeks since he left. Which was odd, considering their workplaces were on the same city block, but she supposed she shouldn't be surprised. And thank all the gods he hadn't been out for a drink that night--that night.

The night she'd gone out for a girls' night and gone home dripping a stranger's cum down her thighs.

Days later, she was still thinking about it. The memory alone was enough to get her riled up, to have her core heating and warmth pooling deep in her stomach. She had to force herself away from those thoughts, especially when she was at work--she was far too professional to be taking a "bathroom break."

Hell. She was thinking about it.

Muttering a curse under her breath, Aelin turned back to her computer, pulling up the quarterly reports to drive her mind away from its traitorous fixation. As one of the head accountants, she and her partners split the report-checking duties, and this quarter was all Aelin's. She shook her head, tugged her reading glasses up her nose, and focused on the columns of numbers, scanning for any errors or anything that seemed off.

The distraction worked--the next time she glanced at the clock down in the bottom corner of her computer screen, nearly four hours had passed. And it was almost five o'clock, thank the gods. She closed the file, logged off, and shut down her computer, making sure to wait until it was past five before she clocked out. Damn picky boss. She grabbed her ridiculously expensive designer tote bag and slung it over her shoulder, heels clicking smartly against the smooth flooring of the office as she walked out.

Elide met her by the elevator. "Long day, Ae?"

"And then some," Aelin grumbled. "Hate quarterlies."

The petite woman huffed in agreement. "Don't know much about that myself, but HR's been a real bitch lately."

"I swear I've got no idea how you manage to stay in that job, Ells," Aelin returned. "I'd probably go stark raving mad after an hour."

"I just yell at people," Elide smirked.

Aelin chuckled and bumped her friend's shoulder. "Hey, want to grab a drink?"

"Gods, absolutely!"

~

"...and then I wake up and he's just fucking gone." Aelin hadn't expected the venom to slip into her tone. She took another sip of her vodka tonic, relishing the burn of the alcohol. Shit, Fenrys knew how to make a good drink.

"Asshole," was Elide's simple, emphatic reply. The brunette's dark eyes flashed dangerously. "Y'know, if you ever need anything..." She sipped on her Long Island. "I'm always here, babes."

"Not yet," was all that Aelin said. "But if it ever--oh, fucking hell!"

Elide followed Aelin's gaze, finding none other than Chaol Westfall himself at the receiving end of Aelin's fury. Before the blonde could get up and storm over to him, Elide grabbed her sleeve. "Hold on a fuckin' second, Ae."

"I'm going to fucking castrate him," Aelin growled, tugging free of Elide's grasp.

"Yeah, but wait a goddamn minute!" Elide hissed. Aelin stopped, raising a brow at her.

"Why?"

"Because we're in a public bar, and you don't need anyone trying to film you giving that jackass a piece of your mind. You know how horrific the internet is."

"Dammit," Aelin sighed, settling back down. "I hate it when you're right, Ells."

"It's my job, Ae." Elide clinked her glass to Aelin's. "Wait until you leave, then go rip his balls off."

Before she could snark a reply, Aelin froze with her drink halfway to her mouth, staring at the other figure who'd approached Chaol.

Where the hell had Rowan come from?

~

Rowan had decided to stop by Fen's bar for a quick drink before heading home, hoping to toss back a good strong drink and swap a few jokes with his friend before going back to his too-empty house and dreaming of Aelin. Probably with his cock in his hand. And that plan had been going flawlessly, until he spotted a certain someone.

There, over in a booth, was Aelin. She sat with a petite brunette Rowan vaguely recognized--her coworker, probably--and she was staring burning daggers across the bar. Following her gaze, Rowan located a brunette man of average height and build, who seemed to be doing his utter best to hide from Aelin's wrath.

Fuck, he wasn't sure how that man was related to Aelin, but he knew one thing--if she was glaring murder at him like that, he didn't deserve her.

Before his mind caught up with him, Rowan strode over to the brunette man, sticking his hand out to introduce himself. "Name's Whitethorn."

The other man shook Rowan's hand warily, his forehead creasing in confusion. "Chaol Westfall. Do I know you?"

Rowan shook his head. "Nah. I'm a friend of Fen's, he said something about how we have a mutual friend?"

Chaol frowned. "Not sure who that'd be; I've never seen you before."

Rowan flicked a covert glance at the shorter man, unable to help his detective's instincts. He was dressed in a normal suit, had a briefcase at his feet, and wore a plain gold wedding band on his left hand. Something about that ring looked familiar...well, shit.

Aelin hadn't been wearing a ring when he...met her, but on her left ring finger had been a band of paler skin just the right size for a wedding band, indicating that she typically wore a ring.

Rowan shrugged. "Hmm. Well, maybe someone you know comes to this bar often, and Fen knows them."

"Well, my wife likes this place," Chaol mused. "But I don't see why you'd know her; she doesn't tend to keep company with other men. She's taken."

"She wouldn't happen to be here now, would she?" Rowan deadpanned.

Chaol's glance darted over to Aelin, finding her burning gaze averted but no less furious. "Yeah, she's with her friend."

As much as his rational brain screamed at him to restrain himself, Rowan couldn't resist. "So you're Aelin's husband, then?" he asked with a slow, insolent smirk. "Wonder how she ever settled for someone like you."

"How the hell do you know my wife?" Chaol snarled, fists clenching.

"Didn't seem to be very interested in your marriage when I met her," Rowan shrugged, casually draining the rest of his drink.

"She what?" Chaol spat, incredulous and enraged all at once. "I--Aelin would never--"

"Seems like you don't know your 'wife' very well, Westfall."

Chaol's eyes narrowed. "I certainly didn't know she'd actually go and be a whore."

The only sound in the suddenly-silent bar was the crack of Rowan's fist smashing into Chaol's face. "Keep that fucking word out of your worthless mouth," he snarled, vicious rage coloring his tone.

The other man lifted his hand to his swelling cheek, furious. "It's the fucking truth," he growled.

Wordlessly, Rowan grabbed Chaol by the collar, shoving him up against the wall. "Don't you fucking dare speak like that--shit!" Fenrys and Lorcan appeared out of nowhere and dragged him away, hissing at him to back the hell off, goddammit! He shook himself free, glaring daggers at Westfall. "That piece of shit is Aelin's husband?"

"Yeah," Fen snapped, "and he's goddamn proud of it." He handed a plastic bag full of ice to another staff member, who rushed it over to Chaol. And Aelin, who for some impossible reason was by her husband's side, placing the ice pack on his bruised face.

Rowan suppressed a growl, his keen gaze noticing how Chaol allowed Aelin to help him up, draping his arm around her shoulders, and lead him out of the bar. Fen swatted him upside the head. "Get your raging ass out of my bar before you pull something even worse, Whitethorn."

"Sorry, Fen," Rowan muttered. He dropped some cash on the bartop and left, muscle memory leading him to mount his motorcycle and drive home. There, he grabbed a bottle of cheap whiskey from his liquor cabinet and drained three or four shots, only stopping when his vision blurred.

He was so utterly screwed.

~

Aelin stared blankly at the door in front of her, twisting a ring around her right middle finger. The lettering on the glass stared her back in the face. Cadre Private Investigation. Elide had slipped her the address, saying that the firm was one of the best in its field, known for being as discreet as they were good.

She just hoped whoever worked here would be able to help her gather the evidence she needed for her divorce.

Steeling herself, Aelin entered the office. The reception area was small but cozy, paneled in warm-toned wood and smelling ever so faintly of evergreen forests. The redheaded woman sitting at the desk glanced up, offering Aelin a professional, polite smile.

"Welcome to Cadre Investigation. May I help you?"

"I--yes." Aelin laid her hands flat on the edge of the desk, willing her voice not to waver. "I'd like to speak with an investigator about a potential contract."

The receptionist clicked a few things on her computer. "Would this be an introduction, a consult, or...?"

"Just an introduction."

"Alright." The woman tapped a few more keys. "Come with me, then. I believe Agent Doranelle is available." She led Aelin through a set of doors and down a quiet hallway, stopping at one of the office doors. "Knock three times," she said. "I'll leave you to it--privacy rules and all that."

Exhaling deeply, Aelin knocked three times. The door swung open, revealing..."You?"

Rowan looked just as stunned to see Aelin standing there. "Aelin?" he whispered. Swiftly, he guided her into his office and closed the door, offering her a comfortable chair in front of his desk. He raked a hand through his pale hair, concern and confusion warring in his eyes.

"Forgive me, I--"

"I need--"

They spoke at the same time.

Rowan gestured to her. "Please."

Aelin took another deep, deep breath. "I need...your help. Ells recommended this place, said it's one of the best investigative firms in the city." She clutched her hands together. "I need help getting evidence for my--for my divorce case."

Rowan waited a few seconds before responding, forcing himself to be calm. "You've filed for divorce?"

She nodded. "I have, yes. It's a long story." Again, her gaze flicked downwards. "Chaol and I married young. Our marriage isn't working anymore." Such a simple, sanitized explanation.

Something dark, almost violent, crossed his face. "What kind of evidence are you needing, Aelin? We're a detective firm, not a law firm."

"I have a lawyer," she replied. "Chaol has decided to contest the divorce claim, so I need--" Her throat clogged, shame and pain choking her voice. "I need to prove he--he--hurt me." The last two words were a bare whisper.

Rage glittered deep in Rowan's emerald eyes. His gaze swept over her, cataloguing the sweater she wore--unusual for late spring--and the silk scarf draped around her neck. Also unusual, more of a fall fashion than a spring one. He stood, walked around to her, and leaned against the front of his desk. "May I?" he asked gently, touching the corner of her scarf.

Fear--terror--flashed bright and swift across her stunning face, but she masked it behind a blank look and nodded. He couldn't stop himself from softly caressing her shoulder as he reached for her scarf, carefully lifting the material from around her neck, relieved when she arched ever so imperceptibly into his touch. Nor could he keep his detective's mind from noticing the thickness of her makeup, enough to not quite match the color of her neck.

Before he looked at her, Rowan instinctively slid his hand down to wrap around hers. Aelin tucked her slender fingers into his and straightened her posture, her spine going steel-stiff. He brushed his thumb across the back of her hand, steadying her, steadying himself, and swept a probing look over her.

White-hot anger rippled across his features when his keen eyes landed on her collarbones and throat. When he saw the purple-blue patterns splotched across her skin. When the pieces clicked in his mind and he knew what those bruises meant.

"He did this to you?" The question was no more than a vehement, deadly whisper.

Not trusting her stone-faced façade, Aelin just nodded.

Rowan's expression settled into grim determination. "When we're done with that fucking bastard, he won't be able to come within fifty miles of you, Aelin."

~~~

TAGS:

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@superspiritfestival

@thegreyj

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@rowanaelinn

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@llyncooljones

@silentquartz

[thedawningofthehour]

didn't you say you were making Draxum's house in the sims? Did you ever finish? :(

So I whined about this on my main blog, but I'm having issues with my computer. The power port, and I've noticed this for a while, gets extremely hot whenever I try to run anything more intensive than Powerwash Simulator, and the past few months it's become harder and harder to get it to charge. (I'm not overclocking or anything-I bought this computer for gaming and made sure it had the specs to run shit like my heavily modded Skyrim and Fallout, it should be able to run Sims) I contacted Acer about a repair and they quoted me over eight hundred dollars. The actual computer was about 1200-1300, for comparison. There's other issues with it as well-there's a chip on the screen that's really obvious on a white background, and they advertised that it would support a second hard drive, but it's never recognized the one I bought. The power port is the most grievous though, and power ports on laptops are notoriously hard to repair.

And this computer isn't old. I bought it last spring. Less than a year and a half-and I've barely been gaming on it because I've been writing this, so I spent over a thousand dollars on a turtles fanfiction machine essentially. (there's been other reasons, depression funk caused a complete disinterest in gaming and after so many mass shootings I've started feeling guilty whenever playing games with guns, but writing is mostly what I've been using this expensive gaming PC for) I only had the one-year warranty that came with the computer, but honestly I can't find it in myself to regret that too much because I have never once had a company actually honor a warranty. It's like safety deposits on apartments or insurance claims-they'll do everything they can to weasel out of doing what they're supposed to.

So back to your question-I currently don't trust my computer to run the Sims. Or anything else. And I can afford to buy another gaming PC right now, but it would be financially pretty irresponsible. I returned the tablet I bought to draw with, and I think I'm going to get one of those two-in-one laptop/tablets so I can use it for drawing and writing. Maybe I'll be able to run the Sims 4 on that-it doesn't have to run great, I use it mostly as a building simulator. Kind of sucks though, Crusader Kings 3 came out with another expansion pack and the new Cities Skylines is coming out this fall, plus I've been getting a hankering to play Skyrim again.

But enough about my computer woes, I do think I have some screenshots I could show...

First floor, I apparently took these during the first round of building because I made a lot of changes. The lab is way bigger now, and I have the rest of the house shell done. The blank space in the back right is where I was going to put in the multi-story room where the turtles find the weapons-which is probably the least completed part of the entire house because holy hell the building controls do not want to work with me.

But in the back left you can see Cass and Gale's rooms! :)

I do like how the main hallway turned out. I know it was mostly destroyed on Creation Day, but let's just say Draxum redid it in the same style. The middle picture, that's the little storage room that hides the door to the part of the house where Gale's room is. If you know the Sims you can tell where the secret door is.

And yes, I know the half-walls under the stairs look ridiculous, I've fixed it since then. I couldn't just extend the half-wall all the way back because it would delete the upper staircase, for some reason.

I'm pretty proud of how the living room is turning out. Could be a little bigger, but the symmetry of the bookshelves are just too perfect. (also the curved walls get fussy, FUCK CURVED WALLS) Needs some clutter on the mantle though.

The kitchen no longer looks like this, I moved around a lot of the pictures and added another layer of cabinets, because Draxum probably has like six sets of fine china he's received as gifts throughout the years and refuses to part with. I added more retro-looking décor, because the last time he remodeled this room was in the sixties and I wanted it to look a little old-fashioned. I also imagine he refuses to get an electric stove, saying his mystic wood-burning stove works just fine. I tried to work a pantry in, but it didn't really pan out. (lol) And the more I think about it, he probably has a legit larder somewhere in the basement, since Draxum is from a time before refrigeration and would have grown up storing food in underground cellars. (and he deffo has like several years worth of food stored away, he's pretty much a doomsday prepper)

This is also incidentally the layout of the kitchen at my old house, hence the weird octagon dining area. Except we had windows. With no curtains. In the woods. It was unsettling to cook at night.

Draxum's study is bigger now, and I think I added a fireplace? He absolutely has eight bazillion degrees and awards and he puts them ALL on his wall. He earned that shit, dammit.

His bedroom's nothing to write home about. It's comfortable, not luxurious. There's no electric lights because he prefers candlelight.

Just imagine that white bathroom counter stained with pink splotches from Draxum's hair dye.

I had BARELY done anything with the pool, but as you can see it is indeed a tank. Draxum was planning to keep a mutant or something in there.

I was actually in the process of redoing the entire greenery lol, but I think I did an okay job on 1.0. Not the mason jar lamps though, I'm not sure what I was thinking there.

Some pictures of Lab 1.0. The ooze-vine-thing looks terrible; I straight up haven't even started to recreate it in 2.0. I pushed back Draxum's alchemy area and gave him an actual medical bay in the back, which is where The Table would have been located.

That's mostly Gale's area on the left, I think it still broadly looks this way? I didn't put in stuff like the robotics table because it just looked silly-and besides, we're not actually playing this build. We know Galois only needs two hands and a welder to make a robot.

I will leave you off with a slightly more clutterfied Gale's room! Oh, but also, I GOT PURPLE CC CURTAINS FOR HIM. :D After I took this picture, but just know he has them now. He has no reason to have them because he does not have a window, but I'm happy for him.

[starsbegantofall]

Bernette 79 sewing machine and embroidery machine review - initial thoughts

I doubt anyone reading this has "embroidery machine" money in their bank account, so it would be helpful to no one, but I appreciated other people putting in their honest reviews when I make big purchases, so I will post mine in case it would be relevant in society.

First, I got this machine because I wanted a computerized machine with more options than my Hello Kitty Janome sewing machine which has 5 stitches, no ability to sew a zipper, and the button hole function/zig zag stitch no longer works properly, making it useful only for sewing straight lines. Most people would advise, stick with the antiques or non-computer ones because of planned obsolescence with newer technology, a statement I would normally go by except my mom finally messed up her retro machine built into the table, and I felt the Hello Kitty was relatively cheap so I got more than its money worth out of it sewing costumes and such over several years. Time for a big upgrade. Also I have the money and still plan to do a lot of sewing if society doesn't break down into a post-apocalyptic Mad Max dystopia.

However, I didn't need an embroidery machine at all. I do embroidery by hand if needed for costumes, my mom taught me the basics, and hand embroidery looks perfectly fine from a distance. But what I do want is a good deal, and reviews stated the combo machine is an excellent bargain bundled with the super expensive embroidery designer software and extra doodads in the Yaya Han version. Not too big or complicated, but versatile especially for costumers, which I am.

So far, after using it for sewing some skirts and two costumes, lots of mending and simple embroidery, I would say I made a good decision. There is a bit of a learning curve in the sewing machine itself and a huge learning curve for the embroidery part, which I expected. The computerized machine does some things that are inconvenient to me, although I suspect this inconvenience is to prevent you from sewing over your fingers by accident. I do like the semi-automatic needle threader, it only works like 50% of the time and seems to shred the thread when it does work, but at least I don't have to struggle to see the hole to thread with my elderly eyes. The automatic thread cutter and the semi-automatic bobbin winder is also great once I figured out how they worked. And the variety of stitches and machine feet is reassuring, though I've only used a few stitches and two feet lol. I already used the buttonhole maker, works just as I had hoped. The sewing is smooth and fairly fast compared to the old machines, and seems to not have much problem with thick fabric, although I haven't tried really thick fabrics yet.

The embroidery function requires taking several parts off the sewing machine and switching out with other parts, which is a bit of a pain if I ever want to switch between functions quickly. Embroidery machines are noisy and require monitoring because sometimes the thread tangles over nothing, like molecules of air are too big sometimes. But I like the possibilities of embroidering tougher materials that would cause me pain in my fingers to try to push a needle through, or perhaps making multiples of identical items, like patches with text. The auto digitizer is not bad for simple designs, and if I had a really cool design to digitize, I think I can wrangle the software into working without too much trouble. Currently trying to think of original designs to digitize, though.

There is an extra cost of having to buy multiple colors of machine embroidery thread which is different from regular thread and more expensive, and lots of stabilizer which is required for smooth results. But I managed to get a bargain lot of new threads from a reseller online, and I found advice on how to sort of reuse stabilizer scraps (though I still have to buy rolls of it especially for larger designs.)

So far I haven't broken anything except one needle. I'm happy with my investment, and look forward to several years of sewing, assuming the world doesn't destroy itself by then. If you are interested in perusing sewing machines be sure to check @20dollarlolita !

[ever-fics]

Rock you like a Hurricane Part 2 - Cheer

Rock you like a hurricane part 2: time periods flip between (1980-1985) (and the year of the previous chapter.)

For Y/N the year 1980 was ... late elementary early middle school.

Y/n remembers it well... It was the last time y/n ever felt ... safe truly safe, last time Y/n could actually trust anyone, last day of calm before the storm.

"I just think you look like her a little..."

"Like my doll?"

"Yeah."

"Aren't I the younger one shouldn't I be asking you to dress up as something."

"That doesn't always have to be how it works... Just dress up as the doll I look like the other doll the friend one but you."

"Only for you but I get to choose both our costumes next year."

________

There never was a next year...

There was barely a next week...

________

"Where is it Suzie?"

"You probably left it in the car again by accident."

"Your older you ... have your own toys why cant I have one thing thats mine? People call me Suzie's Sister .... Like I don't have a name of my own we have the same last name, the same room I ask for this one thing to be mine."

"Well maybe you should keep a better eye on things be more responsible... Thats what Mom says anyway."

"I was responsible I ... You took it stop lying! I ask to have only one thing of my own!"

"Yeah well we are sisters we share."

"Yeah Well I wish I was an only child.... That you didn't always lecture me on how I can be better to measure up to you! I wish I had a sister that didn't steal my toys! Have fun at your meaningless party. I hope betraying me and stealing the doll you asked me to dress up as makes you happy." *The conversation replays in Y/Ns memory.*

__________________________

The story's Present

Michael for his own part doesn't usually do this but it isn't hard to find the university housing Y/N is living in. It didn't take long to find her dorm by asking around. 6th on the left Peabody Building.

Michael is hesitant to knock knowing exactly how Y/N would react.

"Okay... uh Hi... look if your with the frat house that egged my car....save it. Also If this is about me reviewing a thesis or a project for you ...  Its my day off so It'll cost extra."

"Y/ N N .... Oh is this another one of your shady homework deals ... Ill pretend I didn't see anything but when your done can you do the ... thing you do with the computers to make them go faster?"

"Whos?" Micheal asks referring to person who just spoke.

"Roxanne ... The R.A. Look I will check out the computers later ... Just tell the others to stop trying to get free music Win.amp  and those other sites sometimes attract viruses ,hackers, which would be why it slows down in the first place." Y/N sighs

"And What about installing the security cams you promised?" Roxanne counters.

"You covering it? Or is the school..? Because I'm not paying for it. For quality pre assembled cameras its expensive... going down to radio shack to get parts to build it from scratch is... more expensive." Y/N explains.

"Fine look ill talk to the school just do whatever hack trick you do for the computers..." Roxanne requested..

Before gesturing an awkward call me at Micheal while walking away."

"Is uh ...?"

"She always like that pretty much its gotten a-lot better though...She used to front this punk band and They weren't quiet. Anyway what was it you wanted?" Y/N questioned.

"Oh.. Yeah.. you still think Im a frat…Its me Micheal... as in Afton as in please don't tell me you went to Hurricane High ...Micheal from the arcade the other day..." Micheal explained

"Oh! Yeah Micheal who ditched the conversation." Y/N deadpanned

"I -I didn't ditch I.." Micheal panics

"Relax, Im joking..." Y/N chuckles

"The electrical outlet blew at the end." Micheal explained.

"You look ... different." Micheal added.

"Thats... really how you want to start this conversation?"

Y/N raised an eyebrow

"No, I didn't mean it in a bad way ..." Micheal explains.

"Look Afton, Why are you even here? Its not like we were super close when we were younger." Y/N asks.

"Do you remember the classes we had together in 84-85” Micheal wonders.

"Barely why?" Y/N questioned

"I was an ass to you before. I learned that the hard way... With what happened to Evan. You were one of the only people who still talked to me after that. I know you gave the notes to everyone but writing things back and forth kept me. It kept me from being stuck. Anyway uh... I owe you. So if you want me to look for information on Suzzie I can." Micheal offered

"Can we stop?"

"Stop what?"

"The secrets Afton... Your Father was the main suspect... and I know she's dead but...  Not exactly. She doesn't always feel gone she...never really felt gone Nobody believed me back then but... Now... Something tells me you know exactly what I mean. I'm not imagining things." Y\N explains slightly annoyed.

"I...I know. I'm sorry. I don't know where my Dad hid the bodies... He sort of hated me after everything. I just know he... He killed her... And that when I work night shift weird stuff happens. Weird as in the spring suits move on thier own weird.. Arcade machine will stop us from talking because an unknown message thinks I'm hurting you weird." Micheal explains.

"I... She actually is there then... It was never just me or wishful thinking... She doesn't talk to me. I... I was so mean. I can't even blame her." Y/N looks away wiping the small tear dripping down her cheek.

"Hey... Shhh... It's okay." Micheal whispers trying to see if she was ok with a hug. She nods and he just holds her as he explains.*"I don't think that's why she doesn't come to you.. I think she just doesn't want to hurt you. I have to agree...having Utah's superstar upset? Absurd."

__________________________

Classes of 84-85

Considering the incident with Evan a little more than a year prior.

Uniforms the same Color red that stained his own hands, his own clothing, the color the flashed in front of him whenever he tried to sleep a deep dark red...

It grabbed his attention but what further grabbed his attention was Y/N ... At this point only the assistant cheer captain of Hurricane high.

"Stop gawking its weird dude..." *Of the other students around told him*

"I wasn't." *Micheal panics*

"You weren't? That might actually be weirder...

But hey the skull-crusher and the cheerleader totally sounds like you have a shot there ,killer." the student he is talking to just laughs at his own remarks.*

"Can you screw off?"*Micheal snaps.*

"Like the unhinged deathrobots your Dad makes?....sure." *The other student snarks.*

Micheal just walks away agitated and Isolated deciding to stay in the gymnasium simply because Rock you like a hurricane was playing.

What he didn't expect further was Rock You like a hurricane to be made into a cheerleader number.

...

"Y\NN!  Stop doodling and try attending to your duty  as assistant cheer captain." *The cheer captain whined

"I was actually... taking notes .Unless you'd like me to attempt acrobatics in the middle of taking notes where our team can improve."*Y/N explains.*

"Dont backtalk me. The only reason you are allowed to have any power in this squad is because the Cheer coach pity's you and I let you on because I used to be friends with your older sister.  You somehow ended up a disappointment... Even when we expected nothing from you to start. For the record this is why I liked Suzie better. " *The cheer captain sneered.*

Y/Ns face just dropped before it turned  smirk

"Guess the feelings Mutual because I liked Suzie better than you too. Especially because by your own logic if she were alive she would have had your position I still would've been co-captain and you... well we know what you would've been.. Hey coach can I please have  somebody with actual authority read over my notes

Thanks." *Y/N hands the coach the notebook before cheer practice ended. Though most of the squad was clapping by that point. Especially considering the how the coach approved of her notes.

The next time Micheal spots her is when shes leaving the cheer locker room. Her uniform had been ripped

"Y/NN? You changed your name?"  *Micheal notes*

"Yep." *Is all she says.*

"Are you okay?" *Micheal asks.*

"When has it ever mattered to you before Afton?"*Y/N glares..*

" Just because I don't ask doesn't mean I think it doesn't matter" Micheal pointed out

"Look Its nothing..."*Y/N sighs.*

"Nothing doesn't destroy uniforms..."*Micheal countered.*

"Shit." *Y/N tries to stuff the uniform back in her backpack. And hide it so no one else would know.*

"Look whatever she did it isn't the first time people have used me as target practice..." *Y/N thinks out-loud.*

"They shouldn't..." *Micheal noted.*

".... I know. Look um... I have to run because I'm going to have to fix my uniform but your in my psych class." *Y/N excuses herself.*

"I noticed that too... I mean .... Its First day of the semester. So kinda hard not to hear who's name gets called." *Micheal... tries to play it cool.*

"Sure." *Y/N waves beginning to walk away.*

______

"If you actually want to help me with my sister... I could use the help. Truth is you don't really have to ask forgiveness. You and I are... more alike then we like to admit. Anyway....Im sorry too." *Y/N explains.*

"Why?"

"Because I... I... used to be nervous around you. I worried maybe you covered for your Dad but uh.... In all honesty you didn't have much of a choice. Thank you for being honest with me."  *Y/N admits*

"Used to? As in past tense." *Micheal smirked.*

"Shut up!" *Y/N laughs.*

[rurulaura]

Digimon 02 the beginning review:

it was a fun time. I had to take Uber and the fare was rather expensive after it was all said and done. But it was worth it. The Uber driver ended up being the same person there and back! He was a gaming nerd and enjoyed anime too. Theater experience was good too. Got some yummy chocolate peanuts and even extra card packs after the movie.

Now my thoughts on the movie. I’ll be putting all spoilers under the read more.

The banter between daisuke and miyako never gets old lol

Rui sounds so dang emo telling the others it's his problem and blah blah blah

Rui does says he thinks he is the first in the sub. WHich people can play around with if he really was the first or not. I still think Rui was a chosen child that just didn't realize that other chosen existed. and the digital world wasn't aware of it because Rui never went to the digital world.

Hawkmon flocking in front of Rui was hilarious. Looked like a real bird being obnoxious.

...until hawkmon actually knocked the eyepatch off showing the creepy digimon eye!

When it shows Daisuke holding Rui's hand and assuring him to let them help... I can't help but to notice how short Rui is. Holy cow

Daisuke encouraging Rui's recklessness is sure something lol

Daisuke suggesting if they fly on Imperialdramon fast enough, the humans won't see them. Reminds me of the naruto meme at area 51 XXD “ they can’t hit us if we run fast enough”

RUi running towards lil' Rui and Ukkomon gives Magica Madoka vibes with Homura trying to stop madoka from being a magical girl.

Miyako's light tinted glasses during the computer scene. Haha “all according to keikaku!”

Hikari does indeed say homeostatsis in the japanese version! tri. is Canon folks.

"Ukkomon is a special Digimon..." Heard that one before o_o;;

In the Ukkomon and Rui meeting, Rui accidentally says Unkkomon. Unko being poop in Japanese. Sadly a funny joke lost in translation.

Some wondered if the bruises are actual physical bruises... Rui covers his head. I'd say he does get hit from time to time...

When the characters are talking about the bonds with their Digimon and having to work through conflicts, it really reminded me of part 5 when they tell Meiko the same thing. Kind of nice to get a 02 version of that.

I had to hide my face from the body horror shit. THe eye. Rui's eye. GAPING HOLE IN UKKOMON'S HEAD. Just transferring an eye like it's nothing. This isn't Naruto! That's not how it works!

I had a feeling Hikari said more of "That poor thing" about ukkomon. It feels different actually watching the movie with context than reading other reviews. Hikari could just felt all it wanted to do was make Rui happy.

When Ukkomon goes big, it sings the creepiest happy birthday. Geeeez

I saw a lot of reviews saying the characcters didn't get anything and they were just there. I think they got some nice character moments. THe back and forth about killing Ukkomon for example. It's the 02 kids and they are older now. Their issues are going to be more to the point. It was still good to see. I think the movie did a really good job with that. Despite what people think.

Just a small amount of Kenyako. It made me happy.

Miyako's Bingo!

Loved the 6 way evo. Just cool to see. Glad we got to see their evolutions.

I can't get over Takeru driving a CAR. He drives and Hikari sits up front. The other two in back while Daisuke, Ken, and Rui rode on Imperialdramon. It's just an amusing image. I can't get over it.

There are many shots of this giant digimon eye sticking out of Rui's small head. It creeps me out and they show it a lot.

THe animation for the fights are so dang good. Reviews did not overexaggerate that fact.

I may need to rewatch 02, but where do Daisuke and Ken hang out on fighter mode? I know it's on the back usually but... Also really cool how the inside of Imperialdramon looks like a command room. Really cool..

HAH THE FLIRTING REMARK. Made me smile. *sighs* even after all these years.. It's still just them.

The zoom in on Rui's face and that eye. Wny...

Even as Rui and Ukkomon talk.. the comical eye is there...

The snow fight was gorgeous and fun little moments too. Seeing the international kids all grown up is wonderful. We even see Rosa! Which I think is fantastic.

I was pretty happy with this movie. I don’t think i need a grand series like tri. To flash characters out. They’ve all had their moments in various ways.

[backyard-birds]

Life Update/Apologies

Sorry for ghosting y'all, I have been burnt out

Back in June, almost my entire household, myself included, caught covid. I didn't feel up to doing anything but sleeping. After I recovered, I still had some brain fog, and even now it's hard to remember stuff (although I'm not sure if that's from Covid, ADHD, or just chronic pain in the Winter 🙃)

Life has honestly been non-stop since then. In July the family kitten got sick with what the vet thought was either cancer or FIP. Thankfully it turned out to be neither of those things but for a time all energy was devoted to making sure she didn't die.

Since then I quit my old job for a better, but more demanding job. I haven't had as much free time as a result, but as I adjust to the new rhythm that may change.

Also my computer finally kicked the bucket, so that was nice.

But I have a new computer now, with better processing power. I would like to return to this blog and post more pictures, and even open a redbubble store or something at some point (I did just buy an expensive computer with photo editing in mind so... gotta make that money back somehow :-:') (also not that anyone is obligated to, especially since its not like ive done anything here in half a year, but i do have tips available on this blog *cough*)

I will not be forcing myself to post twice a day, because I know that led to my burnout, at least in part. I will post what I want, when I can. I won't make any promises I can't keep, but at the very least, I will try to post something by New Years.

TL;DR: Life hit me like a truck. I'm still alive, and I'll be back.

[cuntystories]

CHAP (2) 𝑂ℎ, 𝑟𝑢𝑑𝑒 𝑚𝑢𝑐ℎ?

I can barely sleep at this point, everytime i have atleast managed to fall asleep— even for a second, I've been woken up by the nightmares that keep occurring. Everything that happened has made me so anxious, the fact that nobody believes me makes me even more frustrated, I know that it happened, but all the evidence, that I don't even have, makes me seem like a liar that is just attention deprived.

Why was I so mesmerized by Him before?

I feel terrified. The feeling of eyes on me made me want to tear my skin off. I can't even do my daily chores without The Man haunting my mind.

"Sir, we have done everything we can, but we can't proceed further without any proof."

They said.

"I'm sorry, sir, we understand you, but as said before— we can't make any moves without any evidence."

They said.

What more proof do they need?

What more do they want?

The police sent me to a psychiatrist incase of hallucinations. Could it all just be in my head? No. Definitely not. They're just trying to gaslight me because they know I'm right yet they lack the skill to investigate further.

I was woken up by the sudden movement, my eyes fluttering inresponse to the dim lights. I wonder how long had I slept, I thought. Was it already evening— as there seemed to be noone around here anymore? "Mr Elvis, you can come in now,"she said with a forced smile, leaving the door open after her. She was wearing a hideous white cap, a bright red cross on it, with a dress five inches too short, a red cross on it aswell. It seemed a little too stereotypical for a nurse, isn't she supposed to be a psychiatrist too? If I didn't know any better, I'd mistake her for someone in the acting industry.

The cabinet was unexpectedly big but empty. Big windows and some modern furniture in the corner with a few decorations, the colours were quite depressing. The opposite of an atmosphere that would be expected in a therapist's office. From the ceiling was falling a bright, almost blindening chandelier, very expensive looking if I had to say. The surroundings were making me even more depressed than i was before. Pretty ironic honestly. But i guess she's attractive enough to keep me entertained for the time being.

"Please take a seat," she said while typing in her computer, likely making notes of my behaviour. "I heard you were sent here on a note by the police, as you did make a pretty big deal out of it, is that right?"

"Ah....I was, they think that I lied to them," I paused momentarily,"...It's a little stupid anyways to send me to a psychiatrist over this, just because I don't have solid evidence, when I haven't even lied to them," I tried explaining, frustrated, while trying to stay still, feeling uneasy as I could feel her gaze on me, analyzing my body language.

The district that I live in is very widely known around the world for it's violent nature. It's not uncommon to come face to face with a criminal on the streets, which also makes the place quite affordable. That's the reason I still live here. But the criminal activity has been raising significantly in the last decade, which resulted in the police being very busy and not having time to deal with my 'bullshit' as they called it. That's why they send alot of people to the psychiatrists, to hope the problem just goes away. Of course you can always decline, but as I made.. a pretty big deal out of it, I didn't really have a choice.

I looked up from my lap, lifting my gaze as my eyes met hers. "I know that this might be hard for you, but you have no evidence of anything happening," she sighed in sympathy, flicking open a notebook containing some notes, "I have received some of your files aswell. I see that you have several part-time jobs. Do you think what happened could have been a result from you overworking yourself, perhaps you experienced hallucinations?," she questioned me, waiting patiently for an answer.

Her answer made me furious. Of course I know that it was true, why else would I have made such a big deal out of it, I thought. That's why I didn't wanna come here— talking about my feelings doesn't change the fact that I still have to pass through the alleyway repeatedly, still having to experience the feelings over and over again.

The more I thought about the question, the angrier I became. Isn't a professional supposed to know better than to straight up doubt their patients? This isn't working at all. I wouldn't be suprised if she happened to land all of her jobs by sleeping with her bosses, being too uncapable of anything else. That would even explain the uniform, I scoffed. "..Is that the only possible reason," I asked as I bit my tongue, trying not to let my attitude slip. "I'm sorry...I know that it must be hard for you, but unfortunately we can't do anything else besides diagnosing you with some pills that might help with your sleep deprivation, if the hallucinations are the case," she apologized profusely while staying calm. "Oh..uhm..I suppose we could try, then...As there doesn't seem to be any other solution." I was already desperate and there didn't seem much we could do. "That's great! I'll write you the prescription. I'm glad we already managed to come this far at our first session," she claimed happily as she typed away on her computer.

Oh...how much I wanted to bash her head in the computer at that moment.

[blahandwhatever]

A week ago, I opened a bottle of water and set it down on my desk only to have it immediately fall over and spill on my laptop keyboard, in response to which my laptop immediately powered off. Frantically I unplugged everything, turned the laptop upside down, wiped off the excess water, and let it sit on a towel, awaiting answers in 24 hours or more. I'd spilled water on it before, but never so dramatically, and never had a laptop shut off in response to a spill. Normally, all I'd worry about is the keyboard. Now I feared serious damage and dreamed of a lawsuit against the unstable-bottomed water bottle manufacturer.

In the meantime, I pulled out the iPad I had, somewhat guiltily, hardly used since I got it over a year ago (granted, this very situation was part of the reason I wanted one - last time I had computer issues, I wanted to use my old iPad and couldn't do much) and finally put it to work. Finally set everything up to my liking, downloaded the apps I needed, got a one-month free trial of Office 365. It was too bad I'd never gotten a keyboard for it when I had the money. The one from my old iPad didn't work anymore (might have another one buried somewhere, not sure), nor would the new iPad stay put in the slot, but at least I managed a reasonably comfortable setup via setting up the old iPad + keyboard and taping the back of the new iPad to the front of the old one.

And so I have worked and used the internet since - aside from Tumblr on my phone - because my laptop never powered on. A couple of days in, I opened it up to take a look at things inside. There was no water or visible corrosion. My battery was bulging a little, though, so I removed that. I'm not sure it's related to the water spill - I suspect it's the reason why the bottom of my laptop came apart a little on one side a while back, though it didn't occur to me then. I tried plugging in the charger - apparently most laptops should work plugged in even without a battery - but it did not work.

I weighed my options. There was the Nielsen Neuro laptop that sat around mostly useless - but that was monitored and strictly for Nielsen Neuro-related uses only. I thought about ordering a new battery on eBay - not too expensive, returns accepted, low-risk - yet I suspected the problem was bigger than this. I looked online for my old computer repair place and found it had shut down. I looked at reviews for several others and couldn't decide. And what could I do with hardly any money anyway. Maybe get a diagnosis at least. Maybe I could ask my father for money for any needed repairs - he'd offered me money quite a few times, though not recently. I did briefly mention the issue to my mother in a phone call, but she didn't offer anything and I wasn't going to ask, considering a) I borrowed too much from her last year already and b) she judges and/or worries a lot when I don't have money for things.

Eventually I got tired of thinking about it and put it aside, simply making do with what I have. Initially, it was an adjustment and a pain - especially trying to work on my iPad, rapidly learning all about the shittier versions of various desktop websites and programs embodied by equivalent mobile apps, and dealing with the generally more cumbersome and less efficient nature of everything. For the first few days, I couldn’t stand it and felt desperate for a return to normalcy. But by now, I've actually adapted pretty well, and had some pretty darn productive days. I'm lucky that both the nature & needs of my job and the state of mobile technology today are such that this is even possible. There's an app for goddamn everything, which can be annoying, but sometimes it's better than nothing. I do, however, find the eyestrain after hours of work to be significantly worse than that from my perfectly set-up laptop, and that may be the worst part.

So yeah, that's the latest impediment I'm dealing with, and I definitely look forward to having a functioning laptop again, but the iPad and I are getting by fine for now.

[the-firebird69]

Madonna - Frozen (Live from The National Lottery Show)

I remembered it and they had to go into hiding and he said to grow I think they're big enough this is what happened this little whipper snapper has a bunch of kids and he's seen them as children a lot of them he says a lot of our babies were his babies getting a free ride so you can see them I can't believe this this is the Damned weirdest stuff I've ever experienced his kids are gigantic and he says they're not much different but people aren't going to know unless they can check it and so far nobody has and he says it's probably DNA it's not intact but it might be down below a little slightly wounded and a few thousand gallons isn't going to harm him or her. I have to tell you we have tried everything we're getting beat up completely by the max other people are too and haven't made any progress so I've been asking him and asking him and trying to force it and didn't work and one day he said we have to raise him almost like out of the blue but it's not so I know he's up to stuff and I see what he's doing one thing we need to see the thing we need to see the shower and see he's going to tell us there's parts everywhere and it will be it's time for us to pay attention he has immense power but it might be a small team but still those guys are huge I've never heard of giants so big

Becka

I've been working out there and people know it and I'm fighting the Max and they know it and I'm getting beat up because I took her own stuff and I'm not doing the job and I know that too I can't seem to do it my guys can't seem to get it up and we're getting beat and it's by Max and people are going to come down we need it

Trump

My fleet is disappearing I'm going to end up going to Titan

...

Damn straight and there's a blockade on and we are going to try to negotiate out of it and you as Chancellor are not doing anything just like you don't do anything in social security and other jobs where you should be doing stuff and boy are you lazy and stupid and daft now you're terrible and horrible to me you're a nightmare buddy see a year to go somewhere else that's for sure

Sarah

So he calls me only because I'm a tour agent probably not but okay it says where's baby doll and it's still me her and I'm not in character he says and that's good I don't want to be all that was a dense you idiot anyways we have a lovely vacation package on Titan and you get to eat all sorts of strange things and each other and kill family members and it's not that expensive it only cost you your entire fleet it's going quick and you can try and call me but I really don't have any packages like this but we wish you luck up there and it's on Titan you see and as far as I know we don't have Giants up there and they are not on that planet.

Hera

It's true they were not Titans but there are xenomorph and there are engineers and some predators

Thor Freya

I go up and I play an engineer and they say that I'm possessed and that's what they look like because they're part xenomorph and that's weird as hell and I do get my ass kicked because the xenoverse comes out pretty big and it's gross and it looks like I heal up and stay there no he says it looks like I'm mutate and afterwards after healing and become oryx due to a second possession and I would need to put other parts in yes that makes a lot of sense and some people seem to get killed there and it's another fake one but doesn't look like I do too well and hook up to a computer I think it's mine. I get into a fight with my son and he puts me in the computer that's not good and then he says maybe and that's not good at all

Trump

Olympus

[melancholybliss92]

Bruh I'm not done with My rant yet. This girl said a long long time ago when that brown diarrhea bitch in Kansas try to contact the 40 yr old and he never answer. That was her hint it's done. She would have tried to contact him again in 2020 when she deleted all pics with her druggie bf in Kansas. They said she would have snooped on the other guys page and saw he's with someone smarter younger and more successful which is me. They all said she knows her place that's why they never talk again . She's in clear denial one of her flings found someone with a fit body, hot young and successful while she stuck in Kansas living with in a piece of shit apartment with a younger white dirty White dude who does not buy her expensive gifts. She has to lie and front and make corny posts about him to keep him because she knows No One else will want to be with her. The 40 yr old said this chick looks like a man, smokes weed, staying at a dead end job and she is fat and hiding her body, she has no real hobbies except eat food and she lies. She doesn't have pics of her working out or showing her body but he said she keep saying she work out. Her fling which is the guy I'm with. He said she was keeping him as a back up because if she was happy with the current boy she wouldn't try to contact him years ago in 2018 or 2019. He said she been doing that trick since 2016 before she ran away to Kansas. They met at work. They didn't talk for months. He said outta nowhere she would message him on Facebook chat saying hey. He said years ago when he got the random text from an unknown number its 100% her. He said thats already weird she with the white boy in kansas but she try to reach out to him. He never ever answer. He didn't even save her number but she saved his . That's sad as shit . She in Denial making up fairy tales saying if she comes back the 40 yr old will wife her lmaoo. He knew she was moving to Kansas back In 2016. He didn't stop her once time lmao. If he wanted to wife her, he would have stopped her from moving to Kansas back in 2016. She hinted to him she needed a room mate. He didn't help her. Bitch is crazyyy. If he wanted to marry her he would have gotten a place in Philly and message her to come back. Nobody wants her ugly ass in philly she failed and ran away to Kansas. Now she making endless lies like guys want her and she's the one that left. He even said her cousin got her the job and she was in her cousins apartment in kansas first. He said she can't do anything on her own .

I told him I'm moving to another apartment back in 2021. He stop me and said he's getting a house come move in with him . That 50 yr old looking Italian transvestite is crazyyyyyy. He stopped me from moving but he didn't stop her.

She fucked up she lost a good guy now she stuck in a apartment in Kansas with a younger dude who doesn't buy her expensive gifts like the 40 yr old. If she thinks paying $100 insurance is expensive and OLD computer parts is expensive. Wait till the fat bitch sees what he buy me .

He pay half my rent. He didn't do that with her to get her to stay. $1500 laptop, half $450 rent. $500 necklace. $1600 hotel. $1000 car parts. $400 tires. $150 sketches shows. $65 nike shoes. $half 1300 lasik, I paid half $1500. The list goes on. He got me a recent $200 pink gaming keyboard it goes on and on.

[notmuchtoconceal]

henry genuine article kept going on these insane frothing rants about douchebag porn in my DMs despite his likes being full of athleticbrutality posts and it made no fucking sense to me ever because, uh -- bro, did you see the shit he used to write?

the shit he used to write was nasty, brutish and long. the shit he used to write was exquisitely realized erotic horror that delved into the rawest part of the primal pain. i thought i was dealing with a sophisticated adult who had a handle on his own shit, but nope.

that was me. that was my projection.

all the good smut i used to write came completely outta denial. that shit would rise straight up outta my unconscious and i would look at it and compute cultural critique. that the substance of my unconscious is not my own, it was inherited -- is a true statement. these impulses came from others, and any shame i ought feel about them must be shared with my progenitors. if they can't fuckin deal, fuck em. i'm not gonna be a coward to preserve their feelings.

it's true. i did have a shitload of unconquered egoism i'd never properly dealt with. so do most men. the constantly agonizing, aching contortion at narcissism, narcissism, narcissism, my poor friend, the lil idiot, the wise man and eternal child, inflicted upon me were entirely at his own expense. his narcissism may not have originated in him -- from the descriptions of his mother and father he gave, i'm certain it didn't originate in him -- yet nonetheless, it was in him when we spoke, and if he's not dead in a gutter somewhere, it's still in him now.

if he doesn't wanna take responsibility for his own narcissism, he's making excuses. if he wants to scream the shit he hates about himself at the only people who can tolerate his presence long enough to know him, he's guaranteed to end up alone, which is what he wanted. he was deeply unhappy because he never knew himself because he spent his whole life trying to make himself acceptable to people who hated him, and i loved him, but i wasn't good enough for him, because he had no barometer for what constituted a healthy relationship or even a healthy reality.

bro, he wanted me to be his dad, but he also had me sterotyped as an idiot millenial for some reason?

he didn't think any of his presuppositions through because he just kept adopting everyone's opinions to not get hit. of course he was a raging narcissist. you were apparently the only one who listened to him and didn't judge, except uh -- every time you defended yourself against his insane projections, he thought that was judging.

he needed everyone to be his mother. everyone needed to offer him unconditional love and encouragement and infinite patience or else they were the bad man. he had no idea how deeply traumatized he was. he didn't know the things you knew. he talked fucking forty miles a minute and you never had any time to make him pause and clarify basic things about his worldview, so ya just sorta rolled with it.

ya keep rollin, ya get flattened. i don't know what to tell you, bro. the whole time you listened to him and expected no reciprocity in return because you didn't want anyone's help, because your problems are your own, but um -- y'know, all that's doin is you encouraging yourself to erase yourself?

i know what you think you're doing is that if you don't ask for accommodation people can't hold anything over you, but what you're actually doing is telling yourself you don't matter, cause other people are gonna constantly hold things over you, and if there must be a mandatory social contract you can't click off, you're entitled to collect on your due and free-associate or not to your heart's content.

you should have let your good friend know you could have done better than him. it's what he wanted. it's what he knew. it would have made him want you more, cause you know -- how good can you be if you're willin to put up with his bullshit, huh?

he's unpopular for a reason, you know how stupid you must look tryin to be his friend?

mate, how dense can ya fuckin be?