#and I can’t stop thinking about if I’m being honest

[thecherrypittttttt]

SOLID WORK; dr jack abbot x dr!reader

words: 4,700+

content warnings: my minimal medical knowledge, doctor humor, abbot’s filthy mouth, some smut, fluff <3

notes: i am so beyond new to this fandom and to tumblr so please stick with me but i couldn’t not write this🫶

・❥・

”Solid work.”

My breathing slows as I start to process the complexity of the procedure I had just performed. I’d probably be blushing at Dr Abbot’s praise if it weren’t for the adrenaline coursing through me.

“That was your save. Not mine.”

Trust me - I am never jumping to credit a man with my work but that was the truth. I may have physically done everything but the idea and the instructions that made it possible were all Dr Abbot.

I look back down at the patient. I tell myself it’s to make sure this is all real. That I really just did that. But if I am being honest it’s to avoid Dr Abbot’s unwavering eye contact.

“Hey-“

He is not gonna let me. I look up to meet his gaze. So rock solid but somehow so warm all at once. He may as well be staring right through me.

He lightly rests his hand on my forearm to stop me from going for the suture. To stop me from giving him anything other than my undivided attention.

“-you are the smartest person in here. Take the win.”

I can’t help the exasperated smile that spreads across my face. He’s right. I’ve only got a couple months left of residency. I should just take the fucking win for once in my life.

Abbot, much to my surprise, smiles back. And he has dimples because of course he does.

He’s calm under pressure, he lies on official paperwork to get a teenage girl the abortion she has every right to, he’s the actual smartest one here, he’s kind to everyone in this ED regardless of the stress he is under, and…he still has his hand on my arm.

His hand. The veins there don’t hurt the eyes either.

We must both realize his lingering touch at the same time because he is clearing his throat and pulling away. He reaches for a surgical instrument he doesn’t need. Picks it up and then puts it down.

I swear there is a faint blush on his cheeks but if I think about that too long one will appear on my own.

“Let Whitaker stitch this up. Go home - get some rest. Your shift ended hours ago.”

“I love Whitaker but he is so slow we may as well let the wound heal all on its own.”

Dr Abbot laughs. Genuinely, truly laughs as we exit out of the trauma bay. So loud that Robby looks over and asks if he’s okay.

Don’t get me wrong. Dr Abbot has a wonderful sense of humor. A wicked one, actually. But it’s one of those dry, witty kinds. Not the animated, giggly kind.

I tell myself it’s not a bad thing that I’m proud to have gotten a good laugh out of him. That it’s not a bad thing that it gave me butterflies. That’s it’s not a bad thing that I am laying in bed wondering how the hell I am going to get him to do that again.

・❥・

Jack lets out a low moan as he recovers. His eyes are dazed, his head slightly tilted back but not so much so that he can’t keep eye contact with me.

His hand that held the makeshift ponytail in my hair starts to massage my scalp as the other hand reaches for my chin and tilts my head up to meet his strong gaze.

Once he’s got me where he wants me, his thumb travels from my chin to my lips, swiping what’s left of his release off of it.

“My good girl. So good for me, yeah?”

My thighs involuntarily clench together at his words. He knows it too. I nod as his thumb presses further into my mouth, my lips wrapping around it.

His mouth quips into a smirk, “Solid work, doctor.”

I roll my eyes and bat his hand away. Standing up from my knees on my own. Ignoring his arms trying to gently guide me up instead.

“That! That is exactly what I am talking about!”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, baby.”

Jack just laughs as he grabs my wrist, turning me back towards him. He’s quick to have me pinned up against our shower wall - his strong thigh spreading my own apart as he plants long slow kisses across my neck.

“You know exactly what I’m talking about.”

Back when I was a resident, otherwise known as a couple months ago, Jack consistently praised what I was doing by saying “Solid work.”

The way he did always made me dizzy. His voice would drop an octave and he’d look me straight in my eyes while he said it. There is nothing inherently sensual about the phrase but it took me a while to realize he was not complimenting the other residents like that.

Him saying it during sex started as a joke. Harkening back to when, as he puts it, I was so painfully oblivious to his flirting. To which I responded, “That was flirting?”.

He said it again to me at work the next day. Being completely and utterly genuine. I don’t even remember what I did but I did it well and he is always the first to acknowledge that. So he was confused when I just huffed in annoyance and peeled out of the room without so much of a glance at him.

I wasn’t annoyed at him. I was annoyed that now all I could think about was him. His hands, his biceps, his tongue. Everything. And I still had six hours of my shift to go.

He followed me into the on-call room I was going to find some refuge in. He locked the door behind him - closed the curtain for good measure.

“What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

And then I felt bad. He thought something was actually wrong. That no way I’d ever brush him off like that when he was just trying to compliment me unless something was seriously wrong.

His eyes bored into mine, genuine concern and love pouring out of them. And here I was just being a brat.

I tried to be sly about the way my eyes trailed the veins bulging out of his biceps. I tried to be sly about the way I was imagining my hands tugging on his salt and pepper curls that were just slightly askew from a couple hours work. Unfortunately for me, Jack can read me like a book.

“Did you just stomp out of the ED because you’re needy?” Jack couldn’t contain the grin that spread across his face at the realization.

“Well maybe if you weren’t always going Mr Christian Gray on me with the praise-“

“I don’t even know who that is but all I said was ‘Solid work’-“

Jack stops himself as he remembers the past couple nights. When he was saying the same thing in a much different context.

I can’t say I’m entirely innocent. Or innocent at all really. I love throwing in a ‘sir’ every now and again at work to tease Jack. So he does the same to me with other phrases - constantly.

And he said the same thing in that on-call room that he is saying to me right now, “But what I do know is how fucking wet you are for me. So stop pouting and let me taste you, yeah?”

He swipes a finger through my soaked folds before he’s the one sinking down to his knees as I try to keep mine from buckling.

・❥・

“Solid work, Dr Abbot.”

I smile down at my sparkling new engagement ring and then up at the love of my life.

“Seriously? You can tease but I can’t?”

“What’s that saying again? Happy wife, happy life?”

Neither of us can wipe the huge grins off of our faces. No one knows we’re engaged yet. Just how we wanted it.

A couple of months ago, right after I had taken an attending job at The Pitt, Jack had broached the topic of marriage. We’d talked about it before. We both knew we were spending the rest of our lives together. But we hadn’t actually talked about the timeline of it all - the logistics.

Jack was always extremely hyper aware about how our relationship affected me. He didn’t want it to interfere with my career or all of my hard work. So as much as he would’ve walked down the aisle six months ago, he wanted everything to be on my terms.

“Hypothetically - if I were to propose, say within the next month - would you say yes?”

“Hypothetically - if I ever say no to a marriage proposal from you - please get me a psychiatry consult.”

Jack laughed - in an airy way where you could tell he was relieved. I kissed him. There was no universe in which I ever said no to a proposal from him.

He pestered me with questions. He wanted direction but not so much so that I wouldn’t be surprised when the time came.

I told him I didn’t want anything fancy. No big party although I did want to have a small gathering with our friends and family at some point afterwards. A nice sized diamond but not gaudy. No grand gestures - just him being him is all that I wanted.

And he executed perfectly. Because when does he not. It was our first night in the new home we had bought. He said we could get a hotel while we waited for our furniture to be delivered. But I wanted to do one night with no furniture, an air mattress, some candles, and a pizza delivery.

“Like camping.” I had said.

“You hate camping.”

I laughed because he was right but he obliged me anyways. He carried me over the threshold and I made a joke about how he’s got to be careful - being old and all.

Then he carried me right over to the air mattress, said something like “Can an old man do this?” and went on to coax four orgasms from me - one from his fingers, one from his tongue, one from his thigh, and finally one from where I wanted him most.

When we were done, I threw on one of his old tshirts and a pair of boxers. He just had on an old pair of sweats and a white tee. We stared into each others eyes like two lovesick teenagers until he said “Come here - I gotta show you something.”

“Babe, the house is empty.”

“Get over here smart ass.”

Jack picked up a candle and lead us over to the fireplace. He set the candle on the mantle as I read what was now engraved into the stone ‘The Abbots - Est 2025’

“So this is why you were getting all of those random tools from Amazon.”

Ever the handy man he is. Then he was on his knee. His bad one. To which I told him he didn’t have to do that. And then he said he would even if it killed him. And I think I said something stupid like “Not on my watch.”

I don’t even remember what he said after that. He doesn’t either. We both blacked out from sheer happiness. All I really remember is him asking me to do him the honor of being his wife and me pulling him up off of his knee and saying ‘Duh!’ as fast I could before kissing him. Over and over and over again until that air mattress was just a deflated extension of the wood floor beneath it.

・❥・

Dana’s hand rests on my thigh gently. My leg stops shaking. My mind doesn’t stop racing though.

I'm not an anxious person. If anything, I can be relaxed to a fault. But I am an intuitive person - and something is wrong.

Where is he?

“Relax. When is that man ever late?”

“That’s why I’m worried.”

You would think I didn't have my own license or car the way Jack insists on driving me everywhere. He tells me it is to keep our insurance from being sky high. I may or may not be a bit accident prone when behind the wheel. I tell him it's because he's obsessed with me. He always huffs a laugh and murmurs something about two things being true at once.

The Pitt makes sense. Ever since Jack started taking on more day shifts to balance out our conflicting schedules, a lot of times we are arriving and leaving here together. But on the off chance we are not, he is still picking me up. Always with some kind of treat in hand - usually a McDonalds Diet Coke much to Jack's dismay.

Jack takes the saying 'If you're not early - you're late' far more seriously than anyone I have ever met. The day shift typically gets off at 7 PM which means he is usually here to gossip with Robby on the roof by 6:35 PM.

“Go - take a case! He’ll be here to pick you up before you know it.”

My dissents are quickly met with Dana shooing me from the nurses station and personally squaring my shoulders to the board.

I haven’t even read the first name when Robby appears at my shoulder.

“Where is your fiancé?”

“Say that any louder and you’re going to be my next patient.”

“Yeah because you two are so inconspicuous with the whispering and the giggling and the big honking rock on your finger and the-“

“-disappearing to 'clean' the on-call room.” Dana finishes Robby’s sentence as they both double over in laughter.

Dana, Robby, and Collins are the only people in the ED that know about Jack and I’s relationship.

Collins knew I had feelings for Jack before I even let myself go there. Robby knew Jack had feelings for me before he let himself go there. So they took matters into their own hands.

Collins had a $100 on Jack breaking first. Robby $100 on me. And he had an extra $100 to spare when he bribed Dr Ellis to ask me to take her night shift for a week. Oh, how that backfired on him.

Three shifts later and Robby was $200 in the hole.

Six months later, I was moved out of my city apartment and into Jack's house.

Dana offered to drive me home after shift one night. Because it was cold and rainy and my apartment was close by. My apartment that I no longer lived in.

Jack wasn’t picking me up - he was out of town at a conference. I insisted on taking an uber, the bus, walking - anything that meant not explaining to Dana why my new address was the same as Dr Abbot's. She wouldn't take no for an answer and yelled "Oh, I knew it! Bridget owes me $100!" when I finally fessed up.

One year later, almost to the day that Robby had to pony up on his bet with Collins, I had an engagement ring on my finger.

Tonight, after he picks me up, Jack and I are going to pilates together.

It was only a matter of time before Robby and Collins gave it another go and I bet Jack that Robby would fold before Collins.

What's the point in betting money when we share a bank account? Seeing Jack in the pink pilates grippy socks he does not know I got him will be priceless.

“Well, when you find him please tell him that he is late for our date on the roof."

"Stop dragging him up there - you already have a date tonight!"

"Yeah, one in which I need his advice on."

"Oh please, you're talking to the wrong Abbot if you need advice on how to woo Collins." Dana interjects. Not everyone in the ED knows about Jack and I but they do know Heather and I are best friends.

"Oh, I wasn't aware you two had tied the knot already. Do you want me to change your name on the board? I can do that right now actually. Does HR know? It'll just take a moment-" Robby teases.

I grab the remote out of Robby's hands as he laughs, "Okay fine - go have your little roof date but do not take long!"

"Well, we'd already be done if he wasn't late. Where is he by the way? He is never late for anything.”

“Yeah, don’t remind me.”

I step forward, my elbows on the counter of the nurses station and my head now in my hands as I groan.

“Relax. It’s Jack - we couldn’t keep him away from this place even if we wanted to. Especially with you in here.” Robby squeezes my shoulder and is off to what I assume to be the roof.

I check my watch before I stand back up to scan the board for real this time - 6:50 PM.

Where is he?

I pull my phone from my pocket. There’s no new message from Jack lighting up my home screen but I open up our conversation anyways.

From Jack: I miss you

From Jack: I can’t believe Langdon is getting to hang out with you right now and not me

From Jack: If you stay at that damn hospital any longer we’re gonna have to start forwarding all these packages you order there

Little does he know one of those many packages holds his new pilates socks.

To Jack: Oh please - as if more than half aren’t all your little go bag gadgets

To Jack: And to think our colleagues think I’m the drama queen

“Incoming - Trauma 1!”

I’m happy for the distraction. I’m gowned, gloved, and ready to go before the patient is even rolled in.

The doors to Trauma 1 fly open - but not with a patient. Just Dana.

“I’m going to get Robby! You should not have to do this.” Dana is staring pointedly at me before she’s off. I don’t even get a chance to respond.

Weird. I know I’ve only been an attending for a couple months but Dana had more confidence in me on my first day as an intern than she did just now.

I now understand why as the patient is rolled in front of me.

There he is.

Unconscious. Cold. Clammy. And slightly bloody from a small cut on his forehead.

My world stops.

“Heart attack.” Langdon is here.

Somehow all I can think of is Jack’s text from earlier. I want to laugh but I can’t. What if I never get one again? I’m supposed to see him in pink pilates socks tonight. Not in a body bag.

“CLEAR!”

Suddenly all the pieces from the past couple days are coming together and I cannot believe I didn’t catch it sooner. Can’t believe he didn’t catch it sooner!

“CLEAR!”

His dizziness. The increase in massages of his amputated leg. The quick heart beat. The rash.

I hear the commotion around me. But I’m not processing any of it until it’s directed at me.

“I said CLEAR! Move!”

This cant be happening. So I decide that it’s not going to.

“No!” My voice comes out way more feeble than I meant. Way more feeble than anyone in this ED has ever heard me.

“Well I hope you enjoyed being Abbot’s favorite because you’re going to kill him and your career in one go.”

“Langdon - he is not having a heart attack.”

“Yes he is!”

“No he isn’t - take off his leg!”

“Take off his leg?! Okay, you’re literally going insane. And I’m supposed to report to you?! I know I went to rehab but oh my gosh - CLEAR!”

“I’m going to clear you out of this trauma bay if you do not get out of my way.”

You know how they say a new mom could lift a car off of her new born baby? I’m pretty sure that’s the phenomenon I am experiencing right now. I don’t exactly know what other worldly force is taking over me right now but I do not question it. I am watching myself from outside of my body as I spring into action.

I shove Langdon to the side as I lift up Jack’s pant leg to remove his prosthetic. The prosthetic that noone else in this room would’ve known he had.

He doesn’t keep it a secret but he doesn’t exactly advertise it either. Especially when he refuses to sit down on a double shift. Ironically enough, that’s probably why he is on this table.

I spot what I’m looking for immediately but Langdon is the one who speaks it out loud, “Pressure ulcer - he’s in septic shock.”

“Thanks for finally using your brain Dr Langdon but we’re going to be using mine from here on out.”

“Blood ox is 91.” Someone yells. I don’t know who. What I do know is that 91 is dangerously low.

“Scalpel.” I demand.

“What are you going to do?”

“We need to drain this fluid before his organs start to fail.”

The first and only time Jack taught me this procedure it was his save. Now it has to be mine.

I tell myself that one day we will be sitting in front of our engraved fireplace. Old. Like, actually old. Not the fake old that Jack tries to pretend he is. With kids and grandkids - telling them the story of how Jack saved his own life through the transitive property. So I better get to work.

“Scalpel. Now.”

Langdon slams the scalpel into my hand. I ignore the looks around the room. The looks that say ‘The only person qualified to perform something like this in an ED is the patient’.

“Your funeral. And his.” I ignore Langdon.

I must have cut the most perfect incisions of my life. Performed the most flawless procedure anyone has ever seen from me. I don’t remember any of it.

The loud beeping slows. His blood pressure rises. Then his blood oxygen. Then the bag I drained is full and being disposed of by Dana.

When did she get here?

Robby’s hand is on my shoulder, trying to pull me away.

When did he get here?

I hear him tell Whitaker to get a suture and close up the wound. Oh, the irony. Credit where credit is due - Whitaker has gotten much quicker under Jack’s patient teaching. Thank fucking goodness.

I think of the first real laugh I got out of Jack. My eyes start to tear up but I stop myself. I will hear that laugh again. Over and over and over again. So much so that I would get sick of it if that was even possible.

Robby is apologizing profusely into my ear. He has nothing to be sorry for. But I can’t manage any words. So I just let him move me out of Whittaker’s way but I do not leave Jack’s side.

I can’t seem to register anything beyond Jack’s face that I’m seemingly trying to force into consciousness with my stare alone.

“Where the hell did you learn that?”

My head turns to Whitaker at his question but it swivels so fast back to Jack I think I give myself whiplash. Because I don’t speak - he does.

“Solid work, doctor.”

I’ve never been happier to hear those words come out of his mouth.

“Oh my god.” My hand clamps over my mouth as my head dips to Jack’s chest, my arms wrapping around his shoulders.

My adrenaline tank plummets to zero and I am absolutely sobbing into Jack’s chest. Whatever was coursing through my veins during that procedure is coming out in what feels like gallons of tears and hiccups.

I don’t care who’s in the room. I don’t care that everyone is slack jawed and staring and so beyond confused. I don’t care that out of the corner of my eye I see Perlah slapping a $100 into Princess’s palm.

All I care is that Jack’s hand has found its way into my hair and when I place my shaking hand on top of it to make sure it’s real - it is. Even better - it’s warm and dexterous and alive.

He’s alive and he’s here.

He gently guides my head out of his chest. I lift my chin up to look at him - give him the eye contact I know he is seeking. That we both are.

“Baby - I’m okay. I’m okay, I’m safe, I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”

His voice is as steady as ever. His heart beat matching it. The beat that was so faint what seems like moments ago.

I let it calm me down. I place a kiss to his chest and lean up to do the same to his forehead. My hand tangles in his salt and pepper curls as I hold his sweaty forehead to my lips and then bring my own forehead down to meet his. I close me eyes and breath him in.

He’s alive and he’s here.

“Welcome back, brother.” Robby manages to choke out through a couple tears of his own.

“Just wanted to make sure you guys weren’t getting lazy at the end of your shift.”

We all crack a smile but only Robby speaks, “Does this mean I have to work a double?”

“Not if you go park my car. It’s in the ambulance bay.”

I speak a full sentence for what feels like the first time in days, “You drove here?”

“We had a date. Plus, I wasn’t feeling quite right.” Jack nods down towards his amputated leg like it’s nothing but a minor inconvenience.

I dig into his pocket and toss Robby his keys. Robby calls for a CT and a room with a bed before ushering himself and everyone else out to give us some privacy.

“And how are you feeling now?”

“I’m feeling like I’d like to make the woman who just saved my life my wife.”

My hand immediately flies to the small cut on his forehead. The blood dry and crusty, “How hard did you hit your head? We’re already engaged.”

Jack chuckles, places his hand on mine and squeezes, “I barely hit my head when I fell out of the car. I’m fine - I just really don't want to live another moment without being able to call myself your husband.”

So we don’t. Not really anyways. I make Jack get every fucking scan in the book that I think we hit our insurance deductible in under an hour. He humors me by lying in the bed in one of the ER rooms as I pump a myriad of fluid and antibiotics into him.

After a few hours his blood oxygen is perfect. So is his blood pressure and his heart rate. I don’t think I’ve taken my eyes off of him once. Or my hands. Running my hands through his hair, caressing his forehead, squeezing his forearm. Just to reassure myself he is here.

He understands what I’m doing. Hears what I cannot say. He grabs my hand on its next pass through his hair and presses a kiss to every single knuckle before speaking, “Baby, I’m sorry I scared you. I scared myself honestly. But I promise, I am not going anywhere. Ever. And I am so sorry you had to go through that. You should have never had to operate on me. I don’t know how you did that. I mean if it was flipped. If I saw you come in like that-“

His voice falters, his bottom lip quivers and he pulls me into the tightest hug as we both begin to cry. I think if we could crawl into eachothers skin, we would.

We stay there like that for a while. Until Jack grabs my face, kisses every single part of it, then whispers “I love you so much but I think if you pump anymore fluid into me you’re going to water board me.”

As if on cue, Robby whips the curtain open, “To the roof we go!”

“You can’t be serious.”

Robby holds up some kind of certificate as Collins and Dana round the corner.

In the hours I spent nursing Jack back to health, I went to the bathroom one time. And only because I hadn’t gone the last four hours of my shift and I own a huge water bottle.

In that one bathroom break, Jack had managed to get Robby ordained online and enlisted Dana and Collins to ‘decorate’ the roof.

We’re still gonna have our wedding ceremony and the reception and the whole ordeal. But I agree with him - I can’t go another second not married to him. Not after today.

So we go up to the roof. Jack still in his hospital gown and me in my scrubs. Robby officiates, Dana sings because she can’t help herself, and Collins ‘witnesses’ which really means crying.

Jack is kissing me before Robby can even say, “You may kiss your bride.”

When we come up for air, Robby claps both of us on the back and says, “Solid work, you two.”

I just kiss my husband again. Because he is alive and he is here

[sungodsfav]

just a stranger | t. fushiguro

summary : honestly what did he expect was going to happen? you were a complete stranger to him three months ago. it’s not your fault he was an idiot for thinking any sane person would agree to getting married to anyone that soon.

ch warnings :  MDNI, fem!reader, dilf toji, hitman!toji, dumb toji, enabler sukuna, 

wc : 2.4k

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chapter two : stop laughing

Your heels can be heard echoing down the hall. The sound of them clicking against the concrete had the man in his office nearly salivating at the thought of you visiting him at work for a change. You knock only twice before entering, not waiting for any response. The only woman he knows to be on the same level as him when it comes to naturally having people fear you whenever you walk into a room. “Well if it isn’t my favorite lawyer, good to know I didn’t need to stab someone for your attention, again.” Sukuna teased. He’s actually done a lot worse to have an excuse to speak to you since you never answer his calls if it isn’t work related.

You slam the picture of Toji Zenin on his desk. “Did you place a hit on me.” Your voice lacked the questioning tone and was more of a statement. “You should probably fire him and get a new guy. He’s been tailing me for weeks now, I’m still alive, and figured out his identity by the end of day one.”

The pink haired man lets out a cackle of pure amusement. “The fuck is Fushiguro doing.” He picks up the image that your undercover bodyguard took of Toji outside the coffee shop. “Your honor, I have no idea what the fuck he’s doing he told me he was going to be on vacation for-” he pauses to check his phone before continuing, “a month, he comes back in a couple days.”

Your eyes can’t help but glare at him. He’s actually being honest, that much you can tell. “I'm not a judge, stop calling me that.” You snatch the photo from his hands and shove it back in your purse. “Fushiguro? I thought it was Zenin?” At least this lead wasn’t a complete bust.

He smirks at your interest. “Give me a kiss and I’ll tell you everything you want to know about my dog.” You ignore his comment and take a step toward the door to leave and he lets out a grunt. “Ugh okay fine what do you want to know.” 

With a small laugh of your own you turn back to Sukuna and sit in the chair across his desk facing him now. “Everything you know that can help me figure out why he’s suddenly taking an interest in me.” And boy does he talk. Makes you wonder how he avoided prison before you became his lawyer on speed dial for so long if he’s so willing to talk about such sensitive information about his own people. 

-

He paced back and forth in front of your desk, his hand gently caressing his own chin in a thoughtful position. The brunette finally stops and faces you. “I don’t think this is a good idea. He could be lying, and this could all be an elaborative plan for some long term goal. Or maybe-”

You smile kindly at him which causes him to abruptly stop. “That’s why I have you Hiromi. You’ll have my back, like you always do.” 

“Very well. You’re lucky I’m exceptional at my job.” You nod to every word he says in agreement. “May I ask why you want to engage with him?” 

You sit a little straighter in your chair and cross your arms. Hiromi Higuruma had a special privilege when it came to you. It definitely had something to do with him being your mentor, to then helping you start your own law firm, to then hiring him as the second head of the firm. “I think he needs me for something so I want to take something from him. If he wants to use me that's fine but I won't walk away empty handed.” Hiromi sits in the empty seat crossing his ankle over his knee. “I want to take his son from him. He’s going to get the boy killed just like that previous wife of his.” 

He lets out a deep exhale. 

“He’s a sweet boy Romi, just turned two. I know I can be a great mom to him, I can feel it. Please, help me.”

“Okay, I’ll help you. What do you need from me?” This is exactly why Hiromi always got your full truth. No matter how dark, scary, or ugly it was. He was always beside you ready to be whatever you needed him to be, your muscle, brain, or your best friend. He was your ride or die and has been since meeting you. You nod with a smile.

“Just gonna need your help with taking on some of my cases so I can have time to date the guy, and maybe start working up a contract that gives me custody of the boy.”

 Another deep exhale escapes him before he speaks. “That’s not too difficult, I’ll get started on the paperwork today.”

-

The first month of dating Toji was weird. You knew he had an ulterior motive, but you didn’t know what it was. You also had an ulterior motive to getting close to him that he didn’t know about. It was hard and so painfully awkward having to act like anything and everything Toji did or said didn’t make you want to punch his face. His presence alone just pissed you off. It was so hard for you to pretend to want to hold his hand, to pretend you didn’t want to projectile vomit on him whenever he kisses your cheek, to force you to fake a giggle at every stupidly cheesy sentence he’d say to you. 

It was so horrible that Toji noticed. “Maybe we should stop seeing each other.” He huffed out a few seconds after you had dodged another one of his attempts to kiss you. 

You freeze up. Panicked now. No way was this going to be all for nothing. “What why?” You ask grabbing onto his massive forearm to keep him from putting more distance between you both.

The large man scoffs before running his free hand through his hair, clearly frustrated. “You just don’t seem interested. I’m too old to be wasting my time with whatever game you’re playing at.” His dark eyes swirl with real emotion that was unknown to you, it’s different from how he used to look down on you. Before you could tell he would hide whatever emotion he truly felt around you. This was real. Frustration? Maybe it was defeat?

You glance down at the ground trying to compose yourself while you quickly try to think up a believable lie to get him to not dump you. How embarrassing, getting dumped by a guy you don’t even want. “I am-I am interested in you, I just never dated before! This is all new to me.” Every good lie has to have some truth to it. “I don’t know how I should act. I'm sorry I’m so bad at this.” You tilt your head up to look him in the eye with a small pout. 

It works. He palms both your cheeks and lets out his usual deep chuckle. “Mama, how is that possible?” He asks, his thumb brushing your cheek gently. That goddamn pet name makes you want to crawl out of your skin.

“Dating wasn’t a priority of mine, busy focusing on school so that I could graduate early.” Staring up at him like this was different. This was more intimate than what you ever allowed. Pretty soon these intimate moments would be the new normal between you both. You weren’t ready for that, you didn’t want these moments with him to be normal. “I never had sex either,” You blurted out. Your final hail mary attempt to push him to slam on the brakes when it comes to physical intimacy. At least you can use it as an excuse to not want to put out. “I’m saving myself for marriage.”

It takes everything in you to not laugh at the way his face drastically drops. You couldn’t help but to mentally applaud yourself for coming up with that complete and utter bullshit. Now he would come off like an asshole for trying to push you into something you weren’t ready for. “Oh, wow. Okay. Okay. That’s-” He lets out an exhale and both hands drop from your face and he looks anywhere but you. You smirk. “. . .cool.” His arms cross and you can’t help but to stare as his chest doubles in size. At the end of the day you were just a woman with needs. Needs that you refuse to have Toji anywhere near. “That’s fine, look I’m serious about you, so I’ll let you lead our pace.” 

He was so full of shit you would roll your eyes if he wasn’t looking into them, searching. You smile at him and place your hands onto his chest for balance as you get on your tippy toes and peck his lips lightly. Your first kiss with him. “Thank you, Toji, for being so patient with me.” You suppose some sacrifices have to be made to keep him around long enough for you to get him to sign the contract. 

Besides, now that Toji practically handed you all the power you realized you can have a lot more fun playing around with Toji. He smirks down at you as your tongue peeks out and swipes across your bottom lip. “Oh come on, play fair sweetheart.” His tone was teasing as his fingers grazed down from your elbow until they reached your fingers. He interlocks with them. “You should go inside and get some sleep.” He steps closer to you and opens your front door behind you. “Goodnight, I’ll call you tomorrow.” 

You nod and go inside without another word. After spending ten minutes scrubbing your lips with some homemade lip scrub recipe you found online you dial Hiromi’s cell. “Hiromi, Is the contract done yet? I want to end it with him already!”

His loud laughter can be heard through the speaker which makes you glare at the wall ahead of you.

“Stop laughing, I’m serious.”

When he finally does recover you hear him cough. “It’s barely been a month, is he that bad or is this your philophobia taking, or your fear of commitment, or your-”

“Hiromi what the fuck, why are you attacking me? He’s a professional murderer, Hiromi. Do you seriously want me to actually settle down with him? He’s literally just a stranger with a kid I want to legally steal from. So what is the status on the contract?” By the end of your rant you’re out of breath awaiting his response. It’s too quiet. “Unmute yourself. I know you’re making fun of me, no need to hide it Hiromi.”

“You went all defensive on me repeating my name and all, so I know what I already assumed was right.” his voice comes off smug and teasing, you can’t help but mutter a few curses at him. “The contract is basically done, just gotta proofread it, I’ll send it to you, look it over and let me know boss.” 

While Toji received a phone call in the middle of his drive back home. “I might have a job for you.” Then the line went dead and Toji immediately headed to Sukuna’s place. 

His staff greets him kindly when he arrives but Toji doesn't have the energy to deal with fake pleasantries. Especially not when he just finished dealing with you. He swears all his energy gets sucked away after your little dates. He takes the elevator up to his floor and lets himself in. “What do you got for me?” His voice carries through the place as he makes himself at home by rummaging through his friend’s fridge to fix himself a drink.

“First, how did that date go? Date number five, was it?” He taunts with a smirk as he emerges from the hall in a hoodie and sweats. “She finally let you hit?”

Toji bangs his head against the now closed fridge. “She’s a fucking virgin. Took her an entire month just to kiss me, I’m fucked.” He bangs his head three more times as his friend cackles.

“Really? Damn she definitely doesn’t seem like a virgin. Can be hot depending on the way you look at it. Like being the first to fuck her, untouched and all.” 

Toji faces him with a deadpan face. “She’s saving herself for marriage.” 

Sukuna starts crying. Tears come out as he clutches his stomach and leans over in laughter. “Why is that an issue? I thought that was your plan? To marry her and all?” He questions after recovering from Toji’s misery.

Toji shrugs. “Yea but this just means I can’t get my dick wet until I marry her. Before you say anything, no Sukuna, I won’t cheat on her. If she finds out I did, she'll probably find a way to chop my dick off and sue my ass for it.”

Sukuna nods agreeing. “So just marry her? So you can fuck her already. Say that corny shit that girls like, when you know you know, or some other bullshit. Yea that should work.” Sukuna can’t help but to smirk knowing that Toji was standing in silence seriously thinking about if he should or shouldn’t. 

“You said you had a job?” 

The change in subject told Sukuna everything he needed to know. Toji’s dumb ass is going to propose. “That’s up to you. Gojo is sniffing around that future wife of yours, so I'll let you figure out how you want to handle the situation. If you kill the guy I know one hell of a good lawyer.” 

Toji lets out a deep exhale through his nose. “Shit, do I even want to be a husband again?” Sukuna slams the palm of his hand against his forehead in disbelief at his friend. “It was so exhausting last time and I actually loved my wife, so with her it’ll be more exhausting having to keep this charade up forever . . . sure she’s hot but like that’s all she’s got going for her. Her entire pink bubblegum personality just isn’t my tea man. . . I guess her being loaded is a bonus too. She can send Megumi to some fancy private school to keep him safe. Fuck I have to marry her if I want to have sex, don’t I?” Toji rambles to himself as Sukuna walks off completely ignoring his turmoil.

next

a/n : this chap was fun to write but damn did it take me forever to write. ooooh great news I already have ch 3 written just gotta proofread and will probably post end both the week :)

[sergeantbarnessdoll]

Better Job Offer » Bucky Barnes/Winter Soldier

Pairings: Congressman!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Summary: Bucky witnesses how horrible your boss is to you so he steps in and stands up for you. He also offers you a better job as his assistant, in which you happily accept.

Warnings: Angst (not you and Bucky), Fluff, language, crying, pet names

Written on my phone. My apologies for any mistakes.

GIF MADE BY ME!

Bucky was walking down the street to a nearby coffee shop when he heard and seen your boss yelling at you. He stopped in his tracks with a great amount of distance between you and him to watch, just in case things got out of hand.

“What is this?” Your boss asks.

“Ice coffee.” You answered.

“I told you I wanted hot coffee, not ice coffee!” She says loudly.

“You told me you wanted ice coffee.” You say, recalling her words from a few minutes ago.

“I did not say that! Either you weren’t listening or you’re just fucking stupid!” She says loudly.

She took the lid off the cup and threw the ice coffee at you. You gasped at the coldness of the coffee and ice cubes. The coffee got all over your brand new shirt. Bucky’s jaw clenched when he saw that. He walked over to you.

“That was completely uncalled for.” Bucky says to your boss.

“She got my coffee order wrong.” Your boss says.

“So you resorted to throwing it at her?” He asks.

“Yes, because she’s fucking stupid and doesn’t know how to get anything right.” She says.

Your eyes teared up and your bottom lip quivered, a few tears rolled down your cheeks.

“She’s human. Humans make mistakes.” He says.

“Not like her. Besides, she’s barely human. She’s an idiot.” She says, looking at you.

To be honest, you hate your job. You’ve been wanting to quit for a while. You were always scared to speak up to her.

“I quit!” You finally say.

“Excuse me?” Your boss says.

“I quit!” You repeated.

“You can’t quit.” She says.

“Yes she can. She can do whatever the hell she wants.” Bucky says.

Your boss scoffs before approaching you and got in your face.

“I want your shit off your desk today.” She says.

Your boss walked away. You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding.

“Are you ok, ma’am?” Bucky politely asks.

“Besides being soaked in coffee and being out of a job, I’m ok.” You say.

Bucky went inside of the coffee shop and got some napkins. He gave them to you and you tried to dry the coffee on your shirt.

“What’s your name?” Bucky asks.

“Y/N.” You tell him.

“I’m Bucky.” He introduces himself. “Can I buy you a coffee?” He asks.

“I would like that.” You smiled.

You threw away the coffee soaked napkins and walked inside the coffee shop with Bucky. You ordered your usual coffee and so did he. You and him sat down at a table to talk for a little bit.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do now that I don’t have a job.” You say.

“If you’re up for it, I have a job offer for you.” He says.

“What kind of job?” You asked.

“I need an assistant.” He tells you. “All you have to do is tell me about yourself and the job is yours.” He says.

“Are you sure you want me to be your assistant?” You asked. “You heard what my now old boss said. I’m a stupid fucking idiot that can’t get anything right.” You say, looking down.

“Hey.” He put a comforting hand on your hand, getting you to look at him. “Don’t listen to a word she said. She’s a bitch. In my opinion, I think you have potential to be an amazing assistant.” He says, making you smile.

“When do you want to interview me?” You asked.

“Does tomorrow morning at 9am work for you?” He asks.

“Yes.” You replied.

“Great! I’ll see you tomorrow, doll.” He smiles.

You and Bucky exchanged phone numbers before leaving the coffee shop. You went to your now old job to clean out your desk and went home. You wanted to get out of the coffee soaked shirt. That’s what you exactly did when you got home. You pretreated it before it stained. You made sure to print out your résumé for your job interview with Bucky tomorrow. You also picked out an outfit for your interview with Bucky tomorrow.

———

When you got there, you patiently and nervously waited for Bucky. One of your legs was bouncing up and down while you were fidgeting with your fingers.

“Sergeant Barnes will see you now.” A woman said.

You got up and followed her to Bucky’s office.

“Sergeant Barnes, your 9 o’clock is here.” The woman says to Bucky.

“Great! Thank you!” Bucky smiles as he stood up and walked over to you.

The woman gave Bucky a nod before walking out of his office. Bucky closed the door before turning his full attention to you.

“Good morning. How are you?” Bucky smiles, holding his hand out for you to shake.

“Good morning. I actually slept well last night and I don’t know why I just told you that.” You say nervously.

“Are you nervous?” He asks.

You nodded.

“It’s ok. I understand.” He smiles.

Bucky gestures for you to sit down, in which you did. He sat down in his desk chair. You nervously handed him your résumé. He took it and looked at it. You looked at the pictures on his desk, smiling when you seen a picture of him and Steve Rogers.

“Your résumé looks great.” Bucky says.

“Would it help if I said I played sports when I was a teenager?” You asked.

You felt stupid for asking that, but it was just your nerves talking. Literally.

“That’s nice to know, but you won’t be using athletic skills while you’re working for me.” He says with a smile.

“Working for you?” You asked, making sure you heard him right.

“You got the job.” He smiles.

“Oh my god! Really? Thank you so much!” You say happily and excitedly.

“You’re welcome, doll.” He says softly.

Bucky stood up from his desk chair and walked over to you. You stood up from the chair. He held his hand out for you to shake, in which you did.

“How about I show you to your new office?” Bucky suggests.

“I would like that.” You say.

You followed Bucky out of his office and across the hall to an empty office that only has a desk and a chair in there. It’s nice, spacious, and big.

“Holy shit…” You mumbled, looking around the office.

“Do you like it?” He asks. “If not, I can show you another one if you’d like.” He says.

“I like it!” You say fast. “It’s just- it’s way bigger than my old office. My old boss gave me a small supply closet as an office.” You say.

Bucky put a comforting hand on your shoulder.

“Forget about her. You have a way better job now.” He says softly.

You looked up at him and gave him a smile.

“Do you have any questions?” He asks.

“I have two questions.” You say. “When do I start and am I allowed to decorate my office?” You asked.

“You start tomorrow morning and you can decorate this office any way you want.” He replies.

“Really? Oh, thank you!” You exclaimed happily.

You gave him a hug, catching both of you by surprise.

“Oh god! I’m so sorry! My excitement got away from me!” You apologized profusely.

“It’s ok. I understand.” Bucky says with a smile.

Bucky, being the gentleman he is, walked you to your car after your interview.

“Thank you for the job, Mr. Barnes.” You smiled.

“You’re welcome.” He smiles. “Call me Bucky.” He adds.

“Bucky.” You smiled.

———

The next morning, you made sure to wake up early so you had enough time to get ready. Normally, you’re never excited to go to work, but today you are excited. You think it’s because you have a new and better job. You have a feeling you’re going to love it.

When you got to work, everyone is so welcoming. They smiled at you and said good morning to you. When you opened the door to your new office, you seen a vase of flowers on your desk. You smiled and walked over to your desk, admiring how pretty the flowers are. You were curious to know who got you flowers. That’s when you found a small card in the midst of the flowers. You picked it out of the flowers and read it, smiling when you seen you got you the flowers.

Good luck on your first day of your new job. You’ll do great.

-Bucky

“I see you love the flowers I got you.” Bucky says as he walks in your office.

“You’re so sweet. Thank you, Bucky.” You smiled.

“You’re welcome, doll. I wanted to make you feel welcome.” He says with a smile.

“I do feel welcomed.” You smiled.

“I’ll let you decorate your office to your liking. Let me know if you need anything.” He says.

“I’m the assistant. Shouldn’t I be the one saying that to you?” You playfully joked.

“Good point, doll face.” He chuckles. “I thought you’d like to ease into the job today.” He says sweetly.

“You’re so sweet, Bucky.” You say again and smiled.

“I have a feeling that we’re going to work well together.” He says with a smile.

“Me too.” You say, smiling back.

Bucky gives you a smile before leaving you to decorate your office. You looked around your office with a smile on your face. Even though it’s your first day, you absolutely love this job. You love it more than your old job. You wouldn’t change it for the world.

🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵

-Bucky’s Doll

[dollyvu]

「 ‧˚ʚ 𝐅𝐀𝐃𝐄 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐎 𝐘𝐎𝐔 ɞ˚‧ 」

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆||: 𝐫𝐚𝐟𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐨𝐧 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐄𝐑𝐘||: 𝐫𝐚𝐟𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐧 𝐚 𝐭𝐨𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆||: 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭, 𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐭 𝐧𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭?, 𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐚𝐫𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤 𝐮𝐩? 𝐢𝐝𝐤 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐞𝐥𝐬𝐞

Lately, you couldn’t think of a reason to stay. For years rafe had been falling apart but not like this. You thought that maybe you weren’t being supportive or you were doing something wrong.

When you first started dating rafe, at the age of 16 ,he was loving and caring but now..he was cold. Everything you said was dismissed or ignored and you didn’t know if you could put up with it anymore.

Something had happened and you knew what happened but you didn’t report it, what girlfriend would confess that their boyfriend committed a murder?

There you sat, alone of course. You didn’t know where rafe was and to be honest you didn’t think you actually cared and that crushed you. Rafe had been your ride or die and now..where was he?

It didn’t matter if you called or texted it was always left on read. Did he love you? Did he care? That was thing, you didn’t know anymore.

What once was holding your relationship together was now melting away and you didn’t know what to do or how to think.

Foot steps approached the door as your heart beat began pounding. The door swung open and there stood rafe, angry as ever, “did you take it?!”he shouted.

No hello or how was your day just straight to it. “I’m fucking talking to you! Answer me!”he yelled, tears blurred your vision but you should be used to this by now.

“Rafe I don’t know what you’re talking about-”you said lying through your teeth. You knew what he was talking about. “Don’t fucking lie to me!”he yelled pointing right in my face.

“Where the fuck is my coke?!”he said angrily, tears ran down your face “baby , calm down, okay, we can try find it?”you said scared that he was going to do something.

“Find it?! Fucking find it! You know what-”he huffed “where the fuck are my keys I don’t have time for this bullshit.”he said running his hand through his hair.

After finding his keys he didn’t even bother to say where he was going. “Rafe? Ba-”you were cut of by the door slamming in your face, it only made the tears steam harder.

Soon only sobs came out, you tried hushing them but nothing seemed to work. You prayed no one could hear you especially wheezie she didn’t deserve to hear that.

A few hours later, you had calmed down but still hurt from what happened. Maybe you shouldn’t have hid the drugs. The sun was setting and you were exhausted from crying so you put on your pyjamas and headed to bed.

Rafe’s room used to be comforting, the smell of his cologne use to make your heart flutter in your chest but now it just reminded you of what rafe used to be like.

You yearned for the old him and it broke your heart to see him like this. He needed help professionally, no amount of love could save him and that hurt.

But then you even question yourself,

do you really love him?

Does he really love you?

Was waiting for him to get better worth it?

Was he even going to get better?

..

The thing was you didn’t even know anymore and it crushed you. You sighed pulling the covers to your chin and for a moment you thought maybe just maybe things will be okay.

The door creaked open, rafe slowly walked over to the bed and sat down on the other side. You heard him sigh exhaustively before feeling him stoke your leg. “I’m sorry..”he sniffled “I’m so sorry baby-..”

Your chest tightened, “it’s okay..”you whispered holding his arm “it’s not-..it’s not.”he shook his head “rafe , please just..listen to me please..”you said desperately.

He nodded “okay-..okay.”, you sat up and watched as he twitched nervously. “We can’t keep doing this rafe…the drugs, the fighting it has to stop rafe.”you pleaded.

It wasn’t the first time you had spoken about this but it was the first time speaking about when he is vulnerable so maybe this was a start?

“I know baby, I know it has to it’s just hard an-”he started choking up so you hugged him tightly. You knew things were bad and you knew it was hard for him but you didn’t know if you could keep doing this..

“Shh it’s okay..”you comforted him as he sobbed into your shoulder “I know it’s hard rafe, I know that..” he nodded softly while sniffling.

You pulled back slightly cupping his cheeks “but rafe..I can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep doing this if you’re not helping yourself get better.”you watched as facial expression changed.

“What- what are you saying? Are you breaking up with me?!”he exclaimed making you shake your head vigorously “no, no, no rafe, that’s not what I’m saying! I’m not trying to break up with you.”you said.

“Well..so what are you trying to say..”he asked calming down entirely. “What I’m saying is that I want you to want to get better, I know it’s hard but I love you and I can’t watch you destroy yourself like this.”you replied softly.

“Okay..”was all he said “okay?”you repeated quietly, “okay.”he repeated back. It was an answer but not the one you were looking for. You wanted him to open up and tell you what he was really feeling.

He layed down beside you, his head on your chest taken in your warmth. “Love you.”he whispered before closing his eyes and drifting to dreamland.

“I love you too.”

𝐖𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐛𝐢𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭 𝐝𝐨𝐧𝐭 𝐰𝐞 ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[a99jazzybean]

Why do we Keep Playing These Games?

Chapter 9: Stay the Night

Ch.1/ Ch2./ Ch.3/ Ch.4/ Ch.5/ Ch.6/ Ch.7/ Ch.8

synop: College TA au

Jayce Talis... He's your unrequited sworn enemy. You are the object of his obsessive affections. After discovering your disdain toward him, He decides to win your heart... Through playing games. Winner gets to make the loser do whatever they want. You'll take him up on the bet, but what will happen if he wins?

words: 4.5K

includes: jaycexfem!reader, fluff, yearning, slight angst, mentions of sexual topics, making out, cuddling, spending the night

“So…” Jayce finally broke the silence between you two. 

After the events in the office, you hadn’t said much. He asked if he could walk you home. Considering the circumstances, accepting was the polite thing to do. However, you didn’t anticipate the extreme awkwardness that followed the brief adrenaline rush. 

The blush dusting your cheeks seemed to be permanently stained on your face. You couldn’t stop replaying the memory of Jayce pleasing himself in front of you. It was hot yet embarrassing at the same time. YOU asked him to do it! Why were you allowing yourself to be ashamed of it?

Beside you, Jayce appeared to be unfazed. If it weren’t for the red blooming on his cheeks, you would think he was unaffected. At least you weren’t alone in your inner turmoil. 

“So?” You finally spoke, but you couldn’t look at him. 

“Do you still want me to come over Friday?” 

That had your eyes widening. You had forgotten his promise to you, and now you had to deal with the repercussions of what you and Jayce had just done. Your face grew even more red as you processed it all. 

Jayce waited patiently for your response, somewhat amused at the flustered state you were in. It was good to know that both of you were feeling similarly. Though he did hope that wouldn’t turn you off from seeing him again.

“I would like that,” you looked up at him, “I still want you to come over.” It felt nice to be honest with him. It made you feel vulnerable, but Jayce had shown you that you could be. Your stony demeanor was slowly but surely being chipped away. 

His face lit up in a bright gap-toothed smile. The expression bringing a smile of your own to your lips. 

“I can’t wait!” He buzzed with excitement. 

It was exciting, this new openness. It was something that Jayce wished to keep exploring. From the moment he had met you, you had deeply intrigued him. He desperately wanted to know more and more about you. While he might have caught the occasional glimpse at your vulnerability, you had never allowed him in too deep. Now, it seemed that you were letting him wade further into your being. As much as he wished to dive in, he wanted you to guide him into yourself. 

“I don’t know if I’m necessarily the best company, but it will be nice to spend more time outside of the school.” This was new for you, allowing your words to flow freely. After the years of avoidance, the least you could do was let Jayce know your true feelings. 

“I know you make amazing company. I don’t think anyone else could make me have as good a time playing children’s board games,” he playfully nudged your shoulder. 

Wobbling from the push, you spread out your arms to stabilize yourself. Beside you, Jayce chuckled. 

“Sorry, that might’ve been too hard.”

“You’re stronger than you think you are, Jayce.” You gave him a glare, feigning annoyance.

“Yeah, I guess I might be.” 

“I don’t know how you wouldn’t think so. You’re fucking ripped.” You didn’t know if you should lead the conversation there, but you had managed to.

“Do you examine me often?” He teased, his smile growing as he managed to fluster you once more. 

“I don’t think I have to examine you closely to come to that conclusion.” You retorted, nose up.

“I’m sure.” He sidled closer to you, voice low. “And what conclusion did you come to when you watched me please myself?” 

Gulping, you stopped walking. Jayce stood beside you, patiently waiting for your response. Lips pulled into a smirk as you battled for the right thing to say in your head. 

“Uh. Um. Hmmm.” Nothing was coming to your brain. “Ugh, Jayce.” 

“I don’t think that was a coherent sentence.” He chuckled. 

“I guess not, but it was the best way to articulate my thoughts.” Huffing, you turned back to walking to your apartment. 

You were adorable. You might have softened up a bit, but that competitive nature within you still had quite the bite. Although you might lose on occasion, you didn’t take defeat very gracefully. 

“I’ll be sure to learn how to speak in grunts then.” He joked, earning him a glare. 

The rest of your walk was completed in silence. Both of you enjoying the sounds of the city around you. It was pleasant, and something you wouldn’t mind making a regular occurrence. 

Ever the gentleman, Jayce always offered to walk you home. Sometimes you obliged, but most of the time you spent the trek by yourself. The solitude could be nice, but you did find that Jayce’s company was much more pleasant. 

Too soon you found yourself at the entrance of your apartment building. The two of you stood in front of the door. Thumbs twiddling as you attempted to muster up some sort of farewell. Yet another new feeling for you: not wanting it to end. 

“Well, I guess I’ll see you Friday?” You asked.

“I’ll see you Friday.” He said with a soft smile. 

His expression of adoration had his eyes sparkling, making you melt. How could he always be so sincere with you? With others he easily put up a front, but with you, it seemed he needed to be genuine. 

“Uh, have a goodnight.” You awkwardly waved before turning to your door.

“You too.” He said softly as he watched you enter the building. 

It was something Jayce didn’t particularly enjoy, saying goodbye to you. He too wished for your time together to never come to an end. Alas, you both had separate lives to live. So he would deal with the circumstances. 

When Jayce reached his apartment, he found himself exhausted. The events of his evening now hitting him like a train. Thinking back to the time in the office he remembered your panties. The article still slightly wet with various fluids. It was not something he wished for Viktor to snag again. This time he placed them in a pouch of his bag, hoping his roommate would keep his hands to himself. 

Viktor wasn’t in the living room when Jayce entered. Knowing him, he was likely studying in his room. Jayce walked up to Viktor’s room and knocked on the door. 

“Come in.” A muffled voice spoke from the other side. 

Pushing open the door, Jayce was met with a Viktor that looked as exhausted as he felt. 

“You look like you’ve had a long day.” Jayce said as he shrugged his bag off. 

“You look like you’ve had one yourself.” Viktor gave Jayce a once-over.

“Meh, I’ll be fine.” Jayce walked to stand in front of Viktor. 

He was bent over his desk, taking notes as he worked on a computer simulation of some physics experiment. Likely something for his thesis.

“How’s it going?” Jayce looked over Viktor’s work. He seemed to be more disorganized than usual. 

“It’s fine.” Viktor paused, slumping his shoulders. 

While Jayce gladly offered his assistance, Viktor did not typically enjoy asking for it. However, the pain in his leg was affecting his work, and he could only take so many pain killers in a day. He conceded, he needed to ask. 

“Jayce?” The man perked up at his name. 

“Yeah? Need something, V?” 

“Could you massage my leg, please,” he sighed, “it’s been a pain for the last couple of days.”

“Viktor, why didn’t you say anything? I could’ve helped you sooner.”

“You know I don’t like to bother you with trivial requests.”

“Trivial? Viktor, it’s important that you aren’t in extreme pain. That’s not trivial.”

Viktor shrugged.

“So will you?”

“Of course, c’mon let's get you on your bed.” With strong arms, Jayce plucked Viktor out of his desk chair and laid him on his nearby bed. 

Skillful fingers worked at Viktor’s leg muscles, the man laying back and sighing with content as he felt the painful pressure start to cease. 

“You seem to be coming home a lot later these days.” Viktor noted.

“Us TAs can get pretty busy.” Jayce could feel a flush beginning to crawl up his neck.

“Hmm… I suppose that’s one way of putting it. Though I don’t believe most TAs would be making bets over board games. Especially ones involving panty snatching.”

“I-I don’t know what you’re insinuating, Viktor.” Jayce attempted to focus on just massaging Viktor. 

“No? So you haven’t come home with a new pair after spending office hours with her?” He teased. 

Jayce paused, looking up at Viktor darkly. The bastard looked so smug, of course he did. 

“As a matter of fact I did. And that’s not all I-.” He cut himself off, not knowing if he should continue. 

“You, what?” Viktor pushed for him to finish his statement. 

“Ah, it’s nothing. Nevermind.” Jayce’s face was now a bright red. 

“Nothing that has you very flustered, it seems.” Viktor’s eyes grew bright with a teasing spark. “So what exactly did you do?”

Teeth worrying over his bottom lip, Jayce wondered if he should tell Viktor the truth. He knew you didn’t particularly enjoy Viktor knowing of your exploits, but the man would surely pull it out of him. Fine, he would take your admonishment.

“I jacked off in front of her…” Jayce said softly.

“What?” Viktor’s eyes widened.

“I touched myself in front of her.” 

“I know what jacking off is, I’m just surprised you did that.” 

“It wasn’t my idea.” The statement caught Viktor off guard. “She told me to do it, and I owed her.” 

“And she made you touch yourself in front of her?” Viktor let out a breathy laugh, shaking his head. “She has set quite a dangerous precedent for herself, don’t you think?”

Jayce cocked his head in confusion. 

“What do you mean?”

Viktor pulled his leg from Jayce’s grasp, then leaned forward nose brushing against Jayce’s. Letting out a soft gasp, Jayce leaned in too. 

“I mean, you can do the same to her. Sure, you’ve made out and stolen her panties. However, she was the first to truly request a sexual favor from you.” Viktor quirked a brow, waiting for his words to click. 

Jayce’s eyes widened at the revelation. A sadistic grin spreading on his face. Viktor was right, you had officially started those kinds of requests. Now, pretty much anything was on the table. So many things he could ask for… a world of possibilities, and it was all thanks to your impulsive actions. He’d have to thank you for that. 

“So, do you have an idea for your next wager?” Viktor was amused, Jayce was surely going to use this to his advantage. 

“Oh I definitely do.” Jayce licked his lips at the thought. “Though, now I have to keep this under wraps.”

“Why’s that?” Viktor asked.

“I’m spending the night at her place on Friday.”

“Ah, right.” Viktor’s voice was slightly disappointed, but Jayce had warned him beforehand of his absence. 

“Yeah, I don’t really know what to expect.” He looked at Viktor expectantly, hoping the man would give him a hint as to what you would want to do together. 

“She won’t have sex with you, if that’s what you’re asking.” He responded bluntly.

Jayce’s face turned red, he wasn’t really considering going there with you yet. 

“I  wasn’t expecting to. But I’m curious as to how you would know that?” Jayce prodded for answers.

“From my experience, she likes to warm up to potential lovers. We didn’t sleep together until well into our friendship.” Viktor tapped his chin in thought as he remembered your time together. “By any means, she’s no prude. However, she is eh… picky?” 

“Picky?” Jayce questioned, brow raised.

“She certainly enjoys testing the waters before diving in, so to speak. Actually, now that I’m thinking on it, I think she treats it almost like an experiment.” He hummed thoughtfully. “Yes, that’s it. She’s testing subjects to determine if they would match in her pursuits.” 

“So she treats potential lovers like experiments?” 

“Essentially. She wants to know what makes them tick in order to determine how well they fit with her. Which seems to be how she manages most of her relationships.” 

“What do you mean by that?” 

“Hmm… I think I’ll leave you to find the answer to that one.” Viktor said with an amused smirk. “I feel as though I’ve already given you enough of a cheat sheet.” 

“Fair enough.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Friday came too soon, yet too slow at the same time. Churning in your stomach was a mix of fluttering butterflies and anxiety. You had never had anyone spend the night at your apartment besides Mel, and you had no idea what to expect from Jayce. 

It was clear that the two of you were becoming significantly more intimate, but you didn’t know how that would translate outside of the office. He had been tender with you in your home before, but it was merely fleeting kisses, nothing more. What if he expected more? All of it was too much. 

Groaning in exacerbation, you fell onto your freshly made bed. After spending all of your free time cleaning, your place was spotless. It wasn’t sterile, by any means, but you did put effort into making your home nice. Old habits die hard, and your family’s need to have a clean home while hosting appeared to have been drilled into you. 

Soft patters and a mewl caught your attention. Sedona hopped onto your bed and curled into your side. Her purrs rumbled against your ribs as you maneuvered yourself to awkwardly pet her. 

“I hope he likes it.” You said out loud. 

Sedona chirped in response. You hoped it was a form of encouragement from the kitty. Lord knows you need a little boost of confidence. 

Sure, you could be cocky in the office, but for some reason that mood seemed to have drained away when in your home. Maybe it was because the space was significantly more intimate, but you would hope you could be somewhat confident in your own home. 

You couldn’t ponder on that for long though. A knock came from your door, a familiar pattern that screamed “Jayce.” Letting out a long breath, you closed your eyes and crossed your fingers. Willing for some entity to assist you in making it a good night. 

When you opened the door you were faced with a bouquet of sunflowers. Behind the bright flowers, a beaming Jayce. The sight making you flustered already. 

“Good evening!” He said cheerily. “Can I come in?” 

Blinking back to reality, you ushered him into your apartment. 

“I got sunflowers cause I read they’re non-toxic to cats.” He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly as he held out the bouquet to you. 

You took it, sniffing the flowers with a soft smile. The sight made Jayce’s heart swell. 

“They’re beautiful, thank you,” you looked up at him, “you didn’t have to do this, Jayce.” 

“You invited me to spend the night, it was only polite.” His cheeks were dusted pink at your compliment.

“Well, thanks again. I’ll go grab a vase.” You searched a closet and found an empty vase. Jayce took it from you and began arranging the flowers. You found your heart swell at the action. No one had ever gotten you flowers before, and now he was doing all the work to arrange them too. 

“My mom taught me to arrange flowers so any person I went out with wouldn’t have to. She’d always say ‘It’s not much of a gift if you make someone work for it’.” He smiled softly at the memory. 

“Your mom taught you well.” You said, sidling up to him as he worked. 

When he was finished, the sunflowers sat in the vase in an appealing manner. A lovely pop of color on your coffee table. You were glad the flowers were non-toxic. As soon as you set them down, Sedona made her way over to give them a curious sniff. 

The sight of your cat had Jayce going for his bag. He pulled out a baggie of treats and some catnip. You chuckled.

“Spoiling me and my cat?” 

“Of course. I saw the bag of treats you had in your kitchen and got you more.” 

“She’s going to adore you.” 

Hearing the shaking of a treat bag, Sedona sprinted in front of Jayce. She sat patiently, licking her chops. Tail swishing in anticipation. 

“Is it okay if I give her some?” He looked at you with pleading puppy dog eyes. You stood no chance against the two of them. 

“Yes, that’s fine.” Your permission had him beaming again. 

Jayce leaned down with a treat, which Sedona snatched up. While she snacked, you found her favorite mouse toy. 

“Here, let me.” You plucked the catnip bag from him and sprinkled some onto the toy. The sound making Sedona turn her attention toward you. When you were done, you placed the toy in front of her. With the same speed as before she began to nose the mouse, making you and Jayce giggle. 

Leaving her to it, you turned back to Jayce. His close proximity made you blush again. He looked good and smelled absolutely divine. The man had asked if there was a dress code before coming over. You had told him to dress comfortably. You had no plans to leave your home and were in loungewear yourself. 

Boy, did Jayce not disappoint. Clad in gray sweatpants and a loose tee, he looked good enough to eat. His hair was more unruly as he left it unstyled, and he was sporting a very sexy 5 o’clock shadow. It was unfair how good he looked without putting effort into his appearance. 

Looking over yourself, you felt a bit like a slob. However, Jayce thought otherwise. Loving your look of an oversized tee with sleep shorts. If it weren’t for the sliver of fabric peeking out, he would’ve thought you had nothing underneath. Though he did wonder if you were wearing underwear. Technically, his bet was still on. The week wasn’t over just yet. 

“So… got any panties on?” He asked with a cheeky smile. 

Again, a blush creeped onto your face. Of course he would ask. 

“I feel like you’re taking advantage of me.” You tried avoiding the question.

“You didn’t answer my question, sweetheart.” That damned pet name, getting you flustered. 

“I’m not wearing panties.” You mumbled softly.

“What was that? I couldn’t hear you.”

You grumbled at his persistence while his smile grew wider.

“I’m not wearing panties.” You said louder. 

“Oh, that’s too bad. I was hoping to take at least one more trophy home.” He chuckled.

“You do realize you have to return them next week, right?” 

“I’m aware. I just enjoy teasing you.” He nudged your shoulder. 

“You seem to like doing that quite frequently.” You nudged him back. 

“As if you don’t do the same.” He chuckled.

You invited the man to join you on the living room couch. You didn’t really plan on what you were going to do for the night. 

“Is there anything you want to do?” You asked.

You. Was the first thought that came to his mind. 

“I’m up for anything, I just want to spend time with you.” You felt your heart swell again. 

“How do you do that?” You didn’t know what you were really asking.

“Do what?” He scooted closer to you on the couch.

“Be so honest. It seems so easy for you to speak your mind.” It had been something that bothered you for a while now. 

Never before had anyone been so open with you, it made you a bit uncomfortable. You were so used to the opposite, and here comes a man with his arms open wide. 

“I mean, I’m not that open with everyone.” He looked up in thought. “You’re just someone I’m comfortable with.” 

“How? I mean, you don’t really know me that well.” 

“I guess it’s just the vibe you give off. And they way Viktor has described you.”

“And how has he described me?” That was an unexpected response. Though Viktor was Jayce’s best friend. 

“You’ve got a warm personality under that stony exterior.” Jayce chuckled. 

“Stony?” 

“You can come off a bit cold.” Jayce shrugged his shoulders. “It’s not a bad thing, I’m sure you have your reasons.” 

Your eyes flitted away from Jayce’s gaze. Ah, there it is. Jayce clocked your response. 

“Yeah, I guess I can be… frigid.” 

“But I think I’ve warmed you up a bit.” Jayce slid his arm behind your head and pulled you in. 

“A bit, yeah.” You smiled up at him, leaning into his touch. “Though, I’m still surprised that you’re so honest with me.” 

“Really?”

You nodded.

“Y/n, I have liked you for over four years. I’m not going to hide how I feel from you.” 

Your eyes widened. You knew he was interested in you, he never hid his affections. You just hadn’t realized how long he had been pining for you. Guilt swirled in your gut as you thought about the time lost with the man. If you hadn’t been so prideful, maybe this connection could have been made significantly sooner. 

“I’m sorry. I was so fucking mean to you.”

“I told you, it’s water under the bridge.” He reached for your hand. A warm palm placed in yours, fingers intertwining. “I’m just happy that I get to experience this now.” 

“What exactly is this?” There it was, the question you two had been tiptoeing around for quite some time. Ever since you had kissed, you wondered where this was going. 

“What do you want it to be?” He asked, sincerity glittering in his eyes. 

“If I’m honest, I don’t know.” 

“That’s okay.” Disappointment briefly flashed on his face. “Like I said, I’m happy to be experiencing this. Regardless of what it is.” He brought your hand to his mouth and kissed it softly. 

You moved to straddle him. The man accommodating you, opening up his arms. As you sunk onto his lap, you pressed your forehead against his. Closing your eyes, you took in a shaky breath. When you opened up your eyes you were met with concerned hazel ones. He cupped your cheek, and pulled you in. 

Soft lips slotted with your own. The kiss, slow and tender. Strong arms wrapped around you as the kiss deepened. Your tongue sliding against his making the man below you groan. His hand tangled in your hair as he pulled you further into him. Sighing, you allowed yourself to sink into his hold. Chests melding together as you continued a languid kiss. 

Slowly you pulled away, eliciting a soft whine from Jayce. You looked over the man, never recalling yourself actually studying his appearance. Eyes traced over his tan face. Pushing back his hair, you noticed the scar on his eyebrow. Your hand slid down his cheek, feeling the scratch of his stubble. Your thumb reached his lips, parting them. He lightly sucked, making you sigh. 

“You’re so pretty.” You said unexpectedly, making yourself blush.

His lips quirked into a smirk.

“Pretty?” 

You nodded. 

“Yeah, pretty. I don’t think I’ve ever gotten a good look at your face before.”

“I was your sworn enemy and you didn’t even look at my face? I’m offended.” He teased, chuckling as you gave him a look of annoyance. 

You leaned in once more and gave him a long kiss before trying to lift off of him. Jayce’s strong hands kept you in his lap. Quirking a brow, you waited for him to explain. 

“You’re staying here.” His voice was low. It sent a shiver up your spine. 

“Am I now?”

His hold slightly tightened on you, fingers softly digging into the flesh on your hips. 

“Yes.” 

He brought a hand to your neck and pulled you back to kiss him. This time it was hot and messy. His tongue continually tangling with yours as you both released strangled moans and groans. Warm hands wandered over your body, squeezing your ass, then traveling up your shirt. Another groan came from Jayce as he realized you weren’t wearing a bra. You gasped as his hands fondled your breasts. Deft fingers working at your nipples had you moaning into his mouth. Sounds that he gratefully swallowed. 

Through his sweatpants you could feel him grow hard. Your own sleep shorts were becoming damp with your arousal. However, you didn’t know if you wanted this to go further. While your body wouldn’t mind, you didn’t think you were in the best state mentally to do so.

Jayce briefly pulled away to breathe and you gasped out.

“I don’t want to fuck you tonight.” Well, that was a shitty way to put it.

Jayce paused, then laughed. 

“I know.” 

“You do?”

“Yeah, and I wasn’t expecting to. I honestly wasn’t expecting any of this.” He gestured between you. “But I am pleasantly surprised.” He gave you a soft kiss. 

Grumbling came from your stomach, breaking the sweet moment. Jayce chuckled.

“Why don’t we order something to eat?” 

“That sounds good.” You admitted.

With that, you pulled off of him. 

The two of you ordered pizza from a local joint. Arguing over which toppings were the best. Jayce being a devil claimed that pineapple did in fact belong on pizza. You settled on two separate pizzas. The man made a show of enjoying his pizza, moaning as he took a chomp at a pineapple piece. To that you stuck your tongue out and proceeded to enjoy your own slice. 

 Between making out, you attempted to watch movies, none of them good. Though you had fun making fun of them.

“Did she seriously go into the serial killer’s basement by herself? The front door is right there!” Jayce exclaimed to the television screen. 

“She’s the blonde bimbo, she’s gotta die.” You said matter-of-fact. 

“I’m not one for these stereotypes.” Jayce huffed as he crossed his arms. 

“Them’s the rules!” You said.

Both of you cringed as you watched the character be confronted by the killer and subsequently chopped up with a chainsaw. 

The night passed by faster than you expected. By midnight you were snuggled up with the man on your couch. His hands tracing along your side as you drifted in and out of consciousness. Some old romantic comedy was playing. 

“Do you want to go to bed?” He asked sleepily.

“Mhmmm.” You mumbled, blinking your eyes to stay awake. 

Jayce stood up, then lifted you in his arms. The action jolting you awake. You wrapped your arms around his neck as he carried you to your bedroom. Eyes wide with wonder at the tender action. Carefully, he placed you onto your bed. 

“I can take the couch.” He said softly, giving you a kiss on the forehead.

“What?” You leaned up, that was not happening.

“No, I want you to sleep with me.” You stated.

“I thought you didn’t want to fuck me.” He teased, crawling into your bed. 

“You know what I mean!” You huffed. 

“I know, I’m just messing with you.” He leaned in for one more kiss. “By the way, I like being the little spoon.” 

He turned away from you as you giggled. After turning off your bedside lamp, you wrapped around the man, pecking a kiss on his shoulder. He sighed into your hold as the two of you drifted off. Never had you felt warmth like this. 

[hyunjining]

everytime I say this people say I’m being misogynistic (I’m a woman) but seriously people need stop obsessing over these boys bodies like in sexual way, stop obsessing over them being in a relationship with someone (being a woman or a men whatever) this fandoms are pervert in such a twisted way, they create false narratives with these HUMAN BEINGS lives, every little contact they have with someone becomes an obsessive fanfiction and it’s scary to be honest. I’m more concerned about their mental health because there’s no way they’re 100% fine in the head with every fucking thing they go through, chan having to apologise for everything, he can’t even sneeze, hyunjin being attacked all the time, these people are sick. but if I say it’s weird how they make fake narratives about how they’re in a secret relationship with someone I’m jealous and misogynistic.

yeah i mean i don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong with thinking they could be dating or wanting them to have love, and i don’t think it’s always a sexualizing thing for people. but i think it’s very weird when people insist that they (especially chan) MUST be dating because they’re hot or because of their ages or because they write mildly sexual lyrics sometimes. mid-late 20s hot people can be single too, for a variety reasons. and i think idols have infinitely more reasons than regular people do to NOT be dating lmao.

i honestly think fans who act like that just want to prove to others that they’re Not Like Other Kpop Stans and they’d be cool with their faves being in a relationship but like. does that have to manifest as making posts that say shit like “congratulations to whoever’s bouncing on it” ??? like. i’m so tired of reading that sentence 💀

[aleksa-sims]

RL Story

CW: adult-themed/topic

After the party at N.’s Mom, N., P., and I went out with Ana and her boyfriend. That was a month ago! A lot has happened the last 4 weeks, but actually it all started that day/night, at N’s Mom's.

What exactly happened or what N. and I did, will clarify itself as you read on. However, just 2 days after this party/night, N had to go back to Italy, to play soccer. He was only here for 10 days and most of that time, we were fighting about this stupid thing with Bianca. After N. was gone, I thought he would come back home after a week or so, but as I said, it’s been over a month since he left.

This week Philip was often with me. I took a prep course for my exam because I was on leave and missed a lot. The whole thing took about 2 weeks. The first week my Mom took care of my son and this week Philip helped me. Today was my last day. When I came home, Philip noticed that I was sad, or in a bad mood?

Philip: Did you have trouble studying?

Me: No, it was all fine. And thanks for your help, P.

Philip: Are you still upset about Nico’s departure?

Me: Hm... I guess.🤷‍♀️

Philip: Why can't you just let things be?.. Sure, life sucks sometimes, but.... you're exaggerating, A.! If you continue like this, you will force Nico to choose between you and his soccer career. And believe me, no matter what he decides,...that would be the end of your relationship.

Me: You can’t tell me how to feel!!! What's wrong with you? I will not force N. to stop playing soccer! I LOVE him! I want him to be happy! But you, don't get it, P.! You have no idea what it feels like to truly love someone. 😒

Philip: I am not gonna listen to this shit!! ... Why aren’t you being honest?... Come on! Tell me why you’re really so pissed.... You blame me for what happened between us. Right? 🤨

Me: I-.... I just don't get it?? 😫 Why did we do that? I mean.... Nico and I were drunk but you weren’t, and yet, you.... just slept with me! 🤦‍♀️

Philip: Now listen to me! I know, the truth is not always pleasant. THIS time A., it was not Nico and me, who wanted to shag you! It was the other way around. You, made it all happen!!

Me: I remember what I did and how it happened that we ended up in bed!! I did it for N.!! ... After our fight with Bianca, Nico and I made up, but.... N. didn’t sleep with me anymore. I thought maybe he still doesn’t want me after all? And a few days later at his Mom's we got drunk, bcs we wanted to do something crazy together. And later when we were with Ana in this club, Nico wanted me to do what he wants me to do, so I did it. He told me to hit on you. I wanted to please him and it was fun to do what he asked. Bcs we were both wasted!!! But you weren’t!! You should have just dropped us off at home and left right away. But you have decided otherwise.

Philip: That's not fair!!! He wanted us both to fuck you. He said.... you deserve it. He was mad! But you didn’t get it A.!! You didn’t stop! I even told you myself, but you still didn’t let go of me! He just wanted to see how serious you are about being his slave.

Me: Exactly! And yet you joined in!!!.....But okay! Sorry, you’re right! It’s not fair to blame only you. Nico and I wanted it! Anyway, I don’t want it to be like it was 4 years ago. I’ve been thinking about it the last few days and... I remembered how I felt then. I was so desperate... I don’t want to lose you P. You're one of my best friends. But right now, I really just need a little bit of space... I hope you’re not mad at me or misunderstand me, I just need to... get a way from here for a while.

Philip: Where are you off to? 🤨

Me: Um... My parents have 2 weeks off. They asked me if Lucas and I want to go on vacation with them. I’ve talked to N. about it. He doesn’t know when he can come home yet? Maybe he’ll join us later? Idk?

Philip: Go for it, A.! ... I also need some distance so.... I'm leaving now.

Me: I understand that. But.... are we okay?

Philip: I think that depends on you. As far as I’m concerned, everything’s fine.

Nothing was fine!

Previous/Next

[possiblyunhinged]

I keep trying to write about the Supreme Court ruling on the definition of “woman” in the Equality Act and how it affects trans people—but I can’t. Not because I don’t have anything to say, but because my brain short-circuits from the sheer, mind-splitting exasperation of watching people talk about lives like they’re theory.

Watching cis men—many of whom wouldn’t lift a finger to stop a cis woman being assaulted in public because “what if I get stabbed”—now crowing about “women’s safety” in comment sections like it’s a sport they just won? Fucking nauseating.

These aren’t feminists. These are people who’ve found a socially acceptable way to be cruel and dressed it up as virtue. It’s not safety they want—it’s a socially sanctioned excuse to hate.

This ruling isn’t going to stop women from being murdered, assaulted, or harassed. In fact, I’d go as far as to say it’s going to have virtually no impact at all on the vast majority of cis women. So what will it do? It’ll make life harder for people who are already struggling to survive.

If you’re celebrating that? I’d suggest you go outside, touch some fucking grass, and try making a friend who isn’t a hateful little prick from the internet—because honestly, I think you’re starved of kindness and compassion. You just want to feel something. And for some reason, you’ve chosen cruelty as your weapon.

And no, I don’t think your average person is running around Sainsbury’s flapping about whether a trans woman is using the bog next to them. I think they’re tired. I think they’re broke. I think they’re being told, every single day, who to blame for the erosion of their quality of life—and trans people are just the next ones being handed the bill.

What people forget is this: A tiny number of loud, hateful people make up most of the online discourse, and the rest of us are left with a bleak, terrifying impression of what everyone thinks.

What reflects reality? Cis male violence. What gets conveniently ignored in all this panic about toilets and changing rooms and “safety”? Cis male violence. What still isn't adequately being addressed? Oh yeah... cis male violence.

You think I’m walking extra quick down a quiet street because I’m scared Dylan Mulvaney’s going to jump out from behind a bush? An impassioned TikToker? Get a fucking grip. We are spending our lives navigating the behaviour of cis men. Our quality of life is shaped by them—whether they’re legislators or the men we (most likely) knew who harmed us.

And look—I do think there should be space for reasoned, open debate. I think any so-called democratic country should have that. But first, you’ve got to be honest about where you’re coming from. And right now, the level of disingenuous bollocks surrounding this discourse is fucking disgusting.

Where’s the outrage over the growing wave of violent misogyny being flagged by teachers’ unions in classrooms? How many more teenage girls need to be murdered by radicalised boys before these so-called “real men” are charging through the streets demanding actual legislative change? Or do they only do that when it gives them an excuse to be racist, crack open a couple of tinnies, shout slurs, and lob bricks at the police?

Where’s the legislation for that?

People call this “whataboutery.” I call it being fucking sick of bad faith arguments about something that, frankly, has very little to do with most of the people frothing over it.

Because I’ll tell you what this isn’t: a win for women. If anything, it’s a win for the exact kind of men who never cared about women’s safety—until it gave them permission to punch down.

And while people are busy foaming at the mouth about trans teens trying to survive school, we’ve got an entire generation of boys radicalised online into believing women are inferior—and no one seems half as outraged.

If you think banning trans girls from the bathroom at school makes anyone safer, you are not protecting women—you are telling the most vulnerable group in society that they are acceptable collateral damage in your war to feel righteous.

And if you think I sound angry—good.

I’m fucking fuming.

I can’t reason with this decision, because it’s unreasonable. It’s senseless harm, designed to appease a growing culture of cruelty that’s poisoning the UK. And it won’t just make life harder for trans people—it’ll hurt the people who love them, too.

It’s about the bloke I see at 6am every day on the dog walk, who has a trans daughter who doesn’t leave the house. Who’s too scared to go to school. And he walks this dopey, beautiful little dog he only rescued for her, because he’s trying everything he can to keep his little girl alive. Because there’s no healthcare for her. No support for him. And what does this country think is sensible? Making it harder for them? Fuck off.

And if we can’t make room for truth, fear, compassion, and basic fucking sense all at once—then what the hell are we even doing?

If you feel equally as helpless, here are some great charities to donate to: notaphase, transactual, genderintelligenced.

[dandylion240]

Jayden stared glumly at his brother's polished wood floor. The silence deafening. “You don’t have to say it. I should have gone after him.”

“You think” Jonah raised an eyebrow at his twin. “You really are dense.”

Staring at his hands Jayden groaned. “What am I going to do now? I can’t sleep or eat without thinking about all the things I should have done differently.”

“Other than wait for your imminent demise” Jonah chuckled a little beneath the baleful glare of his brother. “Let me ask you this. Have you apologized? Have you tried to show him how much you miss him? Love him?”

“I’ve tried” he made huge sweeping hand motions. “It somehow comes out wrong.” Slumping in his chair “everything I plan back fires on me…”

“Have you tried just being yourself? Be honest with him and yourself” Jonah leaned forward maintaining eye contact. “Talk to him without all the schemes…”

“Is that what you think too” Jayden asked looking over at him misery in his light brown eyes.

“What? Am I wrong?" Jonah asked sitting up straight daring his brother to deny it.

“You are if you think I'm trying to trick him into coming back” he cried in a near shout “I’m not like that.”

Frowning Jonah leaned forward having recovered from his shock at having his twin shout at him. “I never said you were” after another moment went by he asked “does Evan think you’re trying to trap him into coming back by the schemes you’ve tried?”

Nodding Jayden pressed his fingers into his temples closing his eyes. “He thinks that’s the only reason why I sent him flowers and the tickets to the play he’d been wanting to see. He said I never showed that much interest in him before why now.” Holding his head in his hands “I don’t want to trap him. I just want him to come home. I just want to show him I can change.”

Looking at his brotherJonah, observed the slump of his shoulders, heard the listless tone, saw the tears in his eyes. It was like looking into a mirror at how he’d felt when he and Ethan had broken up. “Alright. I’ll help you” he held up a hand to stop his brother from talking. “We’ll do it my way. No schemes. No tricks. That’s how you got into this mess. It’s not the way you’re going to get out of it. If there’s a way to redeem yourself you’re going to have to do it the hard way without any gimmicks.”

Jayden stared at his twin a moment an almost hopeful smile tugged at his lips. “I’ll do anything.”

“I don’t like it” Ethan said crawling into bed.

“I couldn’t say no” Jonah snuggled into him as soon as Ethan settled into bed.

“You tell our two little blessings no all the time.” Ethan’s fingers played with the short blond hairs at the nape of Jonah’s neck.

“That’s different” he swatted Ethan’s chest. “I’m the parent. I have to say no.”

“Even when they do this” Ethan asked, making his best puppy dog face. As he expected Jonah grinned.

Laughing Jonah pulled him down by a hand on the back of his head to give him a kiss. Before it could become heated he squirmed out of Ethan’s arms. “We’re not done discussing this yet.”

“You did that on purpose” Ethan groaned waving a finger at him. “Come here you tease.”

Crawling over him Jonah straddled him “promise me you’ll talk to Evan. You don’t have to do anything else. Just talk.”

Tilting his chin up, Ethan gazed into Jonah’s eyes a moment “it means that much to you?”

“Yes” he nodded “Please. For me. If Evan doesn’t want anything to do with Jayden after that than so be it. Jayden will have to accept it. Maybe it’ll help him move on.”

Searching his eyes Ethan sighed, his reluctance to get involved obvious. “Alright I’ll do it.” Without waiting for a respong Ethan rolled Jonah over, pinning the smaller man beneath him. “Are we done talking about this now? Can we finish what you started earlier?”

“Finish what” Jonah asked as he struggled not to show his rising panic at being pinned to the bed.

“This” Ethan said, leaning forward to capture Jonah’s bottom lip between his teeth, his hands sliding between them.

Jonah squeezed his eyes shut, saying “oh yeah that.”

A few days later Ethan approached his brother. Evan sat with his back to him. His shoulders were slumped like he was carrying the weight of the world on them. Ethan noted him tapping his toes on the cobbled path, a sure sign he didn’t want to be there. “Thanks for coming” he said sitting beside him.

Nodding Evan stared vacantly at his feet. “No I’m not alright. No I don’t want to talk about it.”

Grunting Ethan watched some kids playing in a nearby play area. “In that case I may as well leave” he moved to get up.

“Is that it” Evan asked blinking up at him eyes round with surprise. “You practically begged me to meet you here. Now you’re going to leave without even trying.”

“Would it do any good” he asked his eyes still on the kids. He briefly wondered if one day he and Jonah would be bringing their kids to the park to play.

“I’m not falling for any of his tricks” Evan snapped “so don’t try.”

“Who said I came because of him” Ethan asked, turning his attention on his twin. “What if i came because I’m worried about you? I know how much you must be hurting right now?”

Evan's lips twitched as he tried hard not to show how close he was to crying. “I love him Ethan” despite his best efforts tears rolled down his cheeks.

“Then what’s the problem” Ethan asked trying to keep his voice neutral.

Crossing his arms Evan half turned away “I can’t be with someone who doesn’t even notice if I’m there or not. I don’t want to be part of the scenery or another piece of furniture.”

Ethan was silent a moment “you didn’t always feel that way. What changed?” When all he got was silence he continued “Jayden has always been a workaholic. Obsessed with making the next big deal. Tell me what changed.”

“Nothing” he mumbled squirming beneath Ethan’s scrutiny.

“Bullshit” he said his voice gruff making Evan look at him with an expression of guilt. “You liked the attention that guy, what’s his name…Jasper was giving you. You wanted Jayden to notice. To get jealous. I’m right aren’t I?”

“No” he denied the accusation without conviction “Jasper’s a jerk. He only wants one thing…”

“Which is….”

“I don’t want to talk about him” Evan snapped jumping to his feet.

Following after him Ethan squeezed his shoulder. “Don’t runaway. If you want to get back together with Jayden you need to talk to him. Tell him how it makes you feel when he ignores you when he works from home.”

“Why are you doing this?” Evan demanded whirling around “so you can pay him back for scheming to get you and Jonah back to together?” Shaking his head “I don’t want to be another one of his schemes.”

Taking a deep breath to reign in his growing anger Ethan faced his brother. “What I’m suggesting is a little more mundane than that. I’m talking about a good old fashioned solution called communication. You need to learn to talk to each other. It did more for me and Jonah than any scheme Jayden could invent.”

Evan's face twisted as if he were in pain. “All I wanted was to be noticed. To be appreciated. I never thought it’d lead to us being apart. It might be too late for us.”

“It’s never too late if you both want the same thing” Ethan said pulling his twin into a hug.

Previous/Next

[micawla]

I was never overly crazy about a Jean/Kevin dynamic (I felt like I was too enamored with Jerejean) but after reading TGR and rereading TSC I think I’m starting to love Jean/Kevin

Like don’t get me wrong, I’ve devoured Kevjerejean fics bc I loved that dynamic once I discovered it, but round 2 with TSC is making me realize how deeply Kevin actually cares for Jean, and reading TGR makes you realize how they were conditioned not to care for one another and how much that muddled their relationship

Sure Kevin plays the “you can’t deny me” card a lot but it’s always around him saying he’s gonna get THEM out of this, and making sure Jean upholds his promise and making sure Jean got to go somewhere to find peace, knowing that’s more then what he’s ever had

The more I’ve read, the more I’ve realized Kevin’s gentility he shows Jean in the most dire situations and in some way I think no matter how cold Kevin gets to Jean or how much Jean says he hates Kevin they’ll come crawling back to each other, whether it be platonic or something else

[redflannelsheets]

.

[fogwitchoftheevermore]

girl help. secret life bigb. i am thinking about him again.

[yanderenightmare]

♡ TW: angst, toxic traits, somewhat bullying, breakup

♡ FEM reader

You’re his first girlfriend. He’d never bothered with anything serious before—it seemed too messy to trifle with. He doesn’t know why he suddenly decided. Suppose he’d been feeling a little bored, and something within him saw you as a fool-proof opportunity.

It wasn’t because you were anything special. Actually, it was more the opposite. You didn’t seem like too big of a risk. You were just a normal, honest, nice person—a bit of a loser, too, if he was being honest. He could do a lot better and pick someone of the same caliber as him, someone with a cooler style and presence, but then he’d only get caught up in the competition.

You were more to his appetite—a dorky, blushy lil’ nerd who giggled nervously at everything he said. In other words, no competition at all. You’d never dare break his heart because you frankly couldn’t afford it. And he found solace in that imbalance—knowing he held all the cards and that you could only be grateful he’d chosen you.

At least, that had been what he’d thought. But then, here you are, holding his hands from across the table in a cute little sundae café, telling him how this just can’t work anymore.

He’s confused for a whole minute before it sinks in.

You’re breaking up with him.

He’s confused afterward, too.

You’re breaking up with him?

That can’t be right. You must be joking. He almost laughs, almost cackles, but ends up staying completely silent. Something about that pitiful look in your eye makes his throat tight, and he almost thinks he’s going to cry instead. 

You’re breaking up with him. You, with him. His foot starts to tap. Have you hit your head or something? You’re dressed in a hoodie, for crying out loud, with not an ounce of make-up on—effortless, as if his perception of you wasn’t any of your concern while you’re fucking breaking up with him.

No way. There’s just no way. You must be confused about something, is all. There’s absolutely no way you’re doing this.

“What are you talking about?” It comes angry. Louder than he’d intended, enough to make you jolt in your seat. A couple of heads even turn your way. You wait for them to turn back before answering.

“I just think we’re a bit too different. And… I don’t know…” You were trying to find ways of telling him you weren’t in love with him but ended up deciding it was unnecessary—it wasn’t exactly something he needed to hear even though you had a lot you could say.

You’re rude and arrogant and treat me like some rescue pet you’ve nurtured back to health. You act like you’re embarrassed to be with me even though you’re the one without any friends. You’re selfish and spoiled and—

“If you don’t know, then there’s nothing to talk about. Quit being silly.” He has a furrow between his brows as he picks up the pink menu between the two of you, scanning the different types of milkshakes you could share and forget all about it. After all, you weren’t breaking up with him—that would just be absurd. “Let’s get strawberry.”

“No—”

“Guess we could get mango if you want that instead—”

“I’m not sharing drinks with you—”

“What? You tryna lose weight or something? Not like anyone but me is gonna see you when all you wear are those baggy hoodies all the time. Speaking of which, you should wear mine instead, they’d suit you better—”

“Listen.” You stop his rambling. “I’m not sharing drinks, and I’m not wearing your clothes. I’m not being silly, either. I’m being serious. It’s over—”

“No, it’s not.” His fist bangs against the table—the look in his eye on edge and twitchy. “I asked you why, and you had no good reason—so it’s not, not until you convince me.”

You had wanted to avoid it, but it seems he wouldn’t allow you the grace to spare him. That being said, you hadn’t meant to be so brutally honest…

“You’re a narcissist. You don’t treat me like a girlfriend. I’m more like a charity case or some type of experiment to you. Half the time, it feels as though you’re just playing a game with everyone in your life like pawns for you to shuffle around the board as you see fit.” You’re the one with the furrowed brows now, unable to bite your tongue as you’d kept it in all this time. “I think you should seek help and get your controlling tendencies straightened out before having any type of relationship. Or don’t. In any case, I don’t think I’m the right girl for you.”

There’s a silence. The chatter of the café seems distant. You feel half inclined to apologize as you look at him and stare down the glassy tabletop as if trying to find his reflection for comfort—but then he beats you to the punch.

“You’re right…” he starts softly, mustering the words, and you’re almost proud to see him take it so well, but then there’s a viscousness to his next words. “You’re not the right girl for me.”

When he looks up again, his face is warped—callous and seemingly disgusted by the sight of you. Something about it even seems to lash out at you, seeking revenge.

“I can’t believe I thought I saw something in you,” he sighs. “Turns out you’re exactly what everyone warned me you would be—just a plane-boring old Jane. What a joke—wasting so much time on something so worthless. Forget breaking up with me, I should have broken up with you a long time ago.”

He gets up in a rush and bears over the table, both palms laid flat upon the surface.

“Charity case?” he seethes, then conjures a fake laugh and an even faker grin. “I couldn’t have put it better myself. Enjoy sitting here alone like the loser you are.”

And even though you’re the one watching him walk away while ordering a chocolate sundae for yourself, you can’t help but feel sorry for the poor guy… 

That had been the most emotion you’d ever witnessed come from him.

Obviously, he doesn’t take it very well, stumbling through the café before bursting out the door, but even he’s surprised by how disheveled it had made him. He’s hyperventilating when the fresh air hits him, almost sprinting to his car so that he can lock himself inside it.

But the car only makes it worse as he’s far from alone in there. You’re everywhere. On the hood, waiting for him with a smile. In the rearview mirror, waving at him. In the seat next to him with a pout, asking if you can stay over. In the backseat, naked with a coy twinkle in your eye.

He knows! He has some of your underwear at home—he’ll threaten to pass them around campus unless you beg him to take you back. No, what’s he thinking!? You’ll never come back to him that way. Fuck, what can he do, what’s he supposed to do!? He just called you worthless—what that fuck was he thinking?!

The tears startle him as they drip down and splash upon his whitening knuckles, where he grips the wheel for dear life even as the car stays completely still—safe and sound in the same plot.

There’s a light pink lip balm on the dash. Yours. You must have left it there—maybe on purpose? No… you don’t play games like that. You’d been honest in the café. The fact terrifies him—his heart seems to want to reject it at all costs, the way it tears in his chest.

He picks the slim pink stick up and rolls it around in his hand, which can’t seem to stop shaking. You’d sat on his lap in this very seat, laughing at something dumb he’d said while applying the very same balm on his lip—kissing his forehead while saying something sweet. He knows it wasn’t, but he imagines you’d whispered that you loved him.

When he smears the balm around his lips this time, he imagines kissing you and your soft lips and that everpresent smile he never bothered telling you was pretty.

He’s such an idiot. The birds in the parking lot take flight at the jostling of his car, but no one hears the roar.

And as he sits there in the following silence, wallowing in his own self-pity and regret, he can’t help but feel like the lead of some angsty teen romance.

And like the lead in an angsty teen romance, he swears… whatever it takes… he will win you back.

You will be his again.

♡ BNHA – Bakugou, Dabi, Hawks ♡ JJK – Gojo, Naoya, some young type of Sukuna, or Toji ♡ HQ – Tsukishima, Oikawa, Sakusa, Miya twins ♡ BLLK – Reo ♡ AOT – Eren

♡ FEM x M INSERT masterlist ♡ GN x M INSERT masterlist

[gay-dorito-dust]

How’d they react to you calling them bro or dude whilst in a pre-established relationship…(platonic/romantic)

Dick: he’s insulted.

Gutted.

He will try to give you the silent treatment for such a shameful thing but ultimately fails as he ends up being the one pawing at you for attention.

‘Do you still like me? Or did you just run out of cute nicknames to call me?’ He’d say one night as your both cuddling in bed together. ‘If it’s the later then I can help you find something, just please spare me and don’t call me dude or bro anymore.’

He’d rather you call him Richard-wait, no he hates that even more because to him you’re not meant to use his fully name, only cutesy nicknames that’d make a grown man sick to his stomach. Nothing else would suffice other than Dickie bird, handsome, babe, hunk, honeybun or anything that wasn’t his name.

He’s go mad or would act delusional and say that everything was fine when everyone could tell that it wasn’t. People who know him have personally came to you and begged you to stop calling him dude/bro because he kept talking their ears off about how his beloved partner is torturing him, which ends up torturing them even more upon hearing about his relationship issues.

Dick would even consult Hayley on what he did wrong, only for Hayley to look at him with those big, big eyes of hers. This was not her level of expertise unfortunately. (Head empty, no thoughts. She can’t do her abc’s guys it’s a real tragedy.)

Jason: ‘I just had my tongue down your throat just now and you had to go and ruin the mood by calling me bro. What the fuck.’ - Jason at some point.

It’s a whole mood killer for him to be honest.

He’s calling you things like chipmunk or sweetheart but here you were calling him dude and bro. He knows for a fact that he’s well and truly out of the friend zone because the shit you’ve done together isn’t platonic in any sort of way.

Thinks Roy had set you up to call him dude or bro behind his back. (He hasn’t)

Jason is petty and will get his own back by referring you as ‘just a really good friend’, ‘buddy o’ mine’ or even worse than both of those; ‘chum.’ 💀

When you go low, Jason was more then willing to go to the depths of fucking hell to the point it had become a game to see who’d call out just how stupid this all was, and at the both of you for ever thinking that this was an excellent idea in the first place.

You’ll probs get punished…I’m just going to leave it there and let your minds guess what that ‘punishment’ was exactly.

Damian:

As much as Damian hates it when you call him Dami, he hates it when you call him dude or bro even more, if that’s even possible.

Damian hates it when you call him dude or bro. He’s not your dude or bro, he’s your partner and he expects no less then darling, my heart or my beloved.

So you calling him dude or bro is more than enough reason for him to give you the silent treatment.

‘Until you learn that I am your partner, I won’t want to be anywhere near you if you’re going to keep calling me your bro or dude. It is a disservice to who I actually am to you.’ He says with a huff and beckons Titus to follow, only for the Great Dane to be left confused as to why his human parents were at a disagreement over something silly.

Also Titus, Ace, Jerry, Alfred the cat, Goliath and BatCow are children of divorce because I said so.

So it’s bests that you apologise while you still can because Damian can hold a grudge unlike any other. Even if you didn’t, you’d still crack first before Damian and quickly put an end to calling him dude/bro.

He just thinks being called a dude/bro when in a pre-established relationship is an insult.

He can take a joke but not when it’s aimed at his relationship. He’s well and truly devoted to his relationship -if we’re to completely ignore the whole being Robin thing- that it might as well be an insult towards him too at this point.

[nereidprinc3ss]

diva

in which flirty!reader shows up to work in a bad mood and it’s spencer’s job to deal with her attitude. not that he minds. (bandages universe)

fluff warnings/tags: fem!reader, mentions of reader coming to work from a casual hookup, flirting, lots of teasing, the BAU being silly geese bc this is before all the trauma, insecurities about reader's job performance, spencer wants to be a cyborg, borderline cuddling hehehe a/n: nanana diva is a female version of a hustler (bandages!reader theme song) no but really i just missed them so much lowkey always accepting requests for these two!! I hope you guys likeeee bc i loveee them and also this was based on a request so i hope u see this LOL

As soon as Hotch calls wheels up in thirty you’re slumping forward, resting your head on folded arms. The to-go cup on the round table in front of you has long been emptied but you look at it longingly anyway. 

Morgan chuckles, slapping his folder down on the table next to you. “Aw, look at that. Bright eyed and bushy tailed.”

“It’s Sunday,” you groan. “It’s seven in the morning. Excuse me for not being ready to carpe the diem.”

“It’s just carpe diem,” Spencer interjects, standing and slipping his file into his bag. You sit up and give him the most indignant look you can manage, though it’s hard when you’re this tired and he’s that cute. Slacks. Sweater vest. Button down, sleeves rolled up to his elbows. An enviable waist. 

“Whose side are you on?”

He frowns, brushing a tuft of shining-clean brown hair out of his eyes. 

“If I was on anyone’s side other than my own it would cease to be their side. We’re all always on our own sides.”

“No, you’re on my side. Defend me.”

His brows only dart up and he looks back down to his bag. It’s a look you know well. Don’t get me involved. 

Morgan spins in his chair to face you, one elbow resting on the table. 

“I’m just saying, if this is your Sunday morning, I’d love to see your Saturday night, little miss forty five minutes late.”

“You heard Hotch say he called me half an hour earlier than everyone else. It was technically fifteen,” you frown. “And I… was at church.”

Rossi gestures at you with his coffee cup. “You step foot in a church, your shoes are going to start smoking.”

Your jaw drops. 

“Wow. I thought old people were supposed to be sweet. Come on, Spencer.”

Spencer knows better than to put up a fight as you get up and grab him by the hand not holding onto your cup and folder, dragging him to the bullpen to sit at your desk until the team is ready to go. 

He stands in front of you, hands in pockets, as you plop into your own chair. “I… can’t tell if you’re actually mad.”

“I am. At you. For not being on my side.”

Spencer sets his bag down and leans against the adjacent desk, arms folded. You stopped caring a long time ago if he’d notice you ogling the long, lithe lines of him. Maybe you never really cared, if you’re being honest with yourself. He’s a little harder to scandalize these days, anyway. But you’ll never stop trying. 

He bites his lip thoughtfully. 

“If you’re mad at me, why am I the one you dragged down here?”

“I’m not taking questions, Reid.”

He hisses. “Ouch. Reid.”

“Mhm. That’s how mad I am.”

“Okay, grouchy. Do you want a refill?”

You borderline pout, continuously perplexed by his kindness in the face of your insolence, but holding out your hollow cup for him anyway as you slouch lower in your seat. 

“Don’t call me grouchy.”

“Then don’t call me Reid,” he says, taking your cup as he passes, and you think you sense the faintest wash of amusement coloring his tone. 

The jet doesn’t do much to put pep in your step. 

“Aberdeen,” Morgan muses, letting his file closed on his lap. “Isn’t that where, uh, Kurt Cobain grew up?”

Spencer sits down in the chair next to you, setting the day’s third cup of coffee in front of you on the small table. “It is. It’s also where Washington’s first suspected serial killer William Gohl resided.”

“First of many,” Rossi amends. Reid nods. 

“In the US, Washington State comes in fifth place in terms of serial killers per capita. Some blame a widespread vitamin D deficiency. Just under eight hours of sunlight in the winter, the least in the contiguous United States.”

Emily gives an abhorrent rendition of a famous Nirvana riff, imitating a twangy electric guitar, before gesturing to your boss. “Hotch, you’re from Seattle. Did you ever get into Nirvana? The whole grunge scene?”

Hotch lowers his folder, giving her an unimpressed look. “Did you?”

While the exchange is amusing, the coffee is not perking you up and you’d like to be slightly less upright, if possible. You bump Spencer’s knee with your own, and he looks over at you obediently. 

“What’s up?”

“I wanna move to the couch.”

He nods and gets right back up. When you pass, and he doesn’t immediately follow, you turn around. Maybe the lack of sleep has rendered you unable to hide your look of contempt as he tries to sit back down. 

“What are you doing?”

Morgan snorts. “Uh oh. Lapdog almost forgot his training.”

“I am not a lapdog,” Spencer defends, giving Morgan a harsh look of his own, before following you, much to the amusement of the rest of the BAU. 

“Don’t listen to them,” you mutter as you step aside to let him pass. 

He settles into the corner of the couch. “I almost never do.” When you cozy up next to him, he seems surprised. “Um, hi?”

“I’m cold. You’re warm.”

“This is… unprofessional.”

You roll your eyes even though he can’t see. “Oh my god. They don’t care.”

That’s enough to shut him up. Eventually he relaxes, and though he doesn’t put his arm around you (they remain crossed in front of him) he doesn’t seem too distraught over the way you’re leaning against him, head on his shoulder. The sky is a soft grey where you can see it through the little rectangles lining the far wall, like a pale tea with plenty of milk. 

“What’s up with you, anyway?” He asks eventually, gingerly, and though he’s bold to ask it you know the last thing he means to do is offend. Luckily for him, he’s your soft spot. You let your eyes flutter shut against the boxes of diffuse light. 

“Tired.”

“I know that. You’ve had three cups of coffee and you’re still about to fall asleep.”

“Well… that’s all it was.”

“Mhm.”

“God, you’re—” you lift your head, about to give him a good old fashioned verbal lashing, but he’s so sweet looking, and he’s so kind to you even when he’s not, that you deflate—all your air coming out on a sigh as you settle back against him. “I… was… not home, when Hotch called me.”

“Yeah, you said you were at church?” He sounds utterly bewildered. Your heart melts, and you can’t hide the fondness seeping from every pore as you look up at him through your lashes. He really is so beautiful. 

“That was a joke, Spence. I was with a friend.”

His brows knit and a faint blush tinges his cheeks. 

“Oh. I knew that.”

And he really is getting better at detecting your brand of sarcasm. One day you doubt you’ll be able to pull any over on him, and he’ll stop being so adorable and bashful and embarrassed and sweet all the time. You don't relish the thought.

“What were you doing this morning?” You ask, in a bid to quell the very embarrassment you covet, because you’re not actually a demon, despite what Rossi had implied earlier. 

“Sleeping.”

You hum. Imagine taking his hand. Don’t really take it. 

“Me ’nd you should hang out outside of work more often.”

“Like… in the mornings?”

“Uh, probably not,” you laugh, your own face heating at the implication he’s only sort of and undoubtedly accidentally making. “I mean—we could. We could have breakfast sometimes.”

“I like breakfast,” he muses. “I know a couple of good spots. I can show you when we get back. There are these ube pancakes that are like bright purple on the inside. Have you had ube? I think you’d like them. The pancakes and the tuber. They’re the same color as your laptop case.”

You giggle, too tired for anything more dignified and too charmed for anything less authentic. Spencer has a moment of apparent self-awareness and after a second chuckles along with you, and like 99% of your moments with him, it’s a nice one. 

It slowly fades, and you sigh. 

“We’d probably get called in right in the middle of breakfast.”

“It’s always a possibility,” Spencer agrees, and you feel him nod. He smells really nice—clean and sort of cedar-y. Warm. 

“You ever think about how we’re just… robot arms to do the bidding of the federal government? We’re not even people. We’re cyborgs.”

“I’d love to be a cyborg.”

“But then you wouldn’t be so warm and comfy.”

“If I were a cyborg I could install a heating element. I’d still be warm. I don’t know about comfy. Maybe if I kept the biomechatronics to one side of my torso.”

“You’d install a heating element just for me? So we could keep cuddling?”

He clears his throat. You smile to yourself. 

“Why are we cyborgs, exactly?”

“Because we don’t get personal lives. The job comes first. I could be doing anything. I could be in the middle of eating bright purple pancakes with my good friend and colleague Spencer Reid and it doesn’t matter. If we get called in we have to leave.”

“If we were in the middle of breakfast, we could just… take our food to go and finish it at our desks.”

“Well—I guess it would be different if it was us, but with my other friends… it’s kind of a bummer, sometimes.”

You’re thinking about the friend you left this morning. Nobody you’re particularly invested in, but you wonder if that friend is still asleep in bed—and you realize you don’t much care. You’re glad to be here, and not there. 

“I think if the job didn’t feel worth it to you, you would’ve left by now. But you haven’t. You can complain all you want, but you show up every day.”

You scoff. 

“Fifteen to 45 minutes late, depending on how you look at it.”

“That is… atypical. You’re usually on time.”

“Usually…” you repeat darkly. A moment passes. An uncomfortable insecurity begins to bloom and ache like a rotting tooth. “Can I ask you a serious question?”

Spencer doesn’t hesitate. “Of course.”

“Do you think…” you falter, unused to this kind of vulnerability. A cloud swallows the jet and the cabin darkens into a place for secrets. “Do you think I’m worth the trouble?”

You know Spencer senses the unease like a sheepdog can sense a storm from the way he perks up next to you. He’s always been like that—incredibly attuned to the moods of others. You hope he doesn’t think profiling is just another of many learned skills. It’s a genuine talent, a sort of savantism in its own right. You can’t imagine him doing anything else as passionately as he does his job. Sometimes it almost makes you insecure. 

“What trouble?”

“Like… Hotch having to call me half an hour earlier than he calls the rest of the team. Or you, accepting my constant teasing. I know I’m—I can be kind of a diva. I don’t always really feel as professional as you guys. Or… qualified, maybe.”

You can imagine the way he’d narrow his eyes as he thinks this over, though you’d still like to see it for yourself—but you keep your head on his shoulder. In a way, he’s already getting a closer look at you than you usually grant to anyone. 

“I think… you’re good at your job. And you care more than you’d like to admit. That thing you do—where you sometimes show up a few minutes late, or you piss Rossi off on purpose, or you flirt with Hotch—I think… we all have things like that. We all self-sabotage, because it’s a really hard job, and I think we all wonder if we’re really qualified for it, or deserve to be in these positions, or if we even want the responsibility of trying to save people’s lives. But you’re a genuinely good person and a gifted profiler. And everyone else knows it, too.”

The deep thrum of the jet’s engine blurs the rest of the team’s incomprehensible chatting and the pounding of your heart into one big muddied streak of paint. Hopefully Spencer can’t feel the heat of your cheek through his shirtsleeve. 

“Oh,” you murmur. 

A moment passes. 

It’s a relief when Spencer’s anxiety comes bubbling up before your own can. “Sorry, was that too much?”

“No,” you hurry, “no, it was—no. That was really really nice of you to say. Thank you, Spencer.”

He relaxes. “Well… it’s all true.”

How could anyone ever deserve him? How does anyone get lucky enough to know a man like Spencer Reid?

When you burst through the other side of the cloud, the sun has come out. It burns away the milky early morning fog and makes your eyes ache just enough to finally wake you up. You blink and stretch against him like a cat. 

“Spence?”

“Hm?”

“I just want to clarify… I don’t flirt with Hotch. I flirt with you.”

[irisinluv]

Isekaied as the Yandere Villain!? PT 1

All I could do was stare at my reflection. This had to be a joke. I was going to wake up in my bed, right this instant.

“FUCK!”

Ok, so, pinching myself hurts. That’s fine. This is like. Some sort of lucid dream. What do they say to do if you’re lucid dreaming? Oh, that’s right, put your finger in your palm, it’ll phase through!

I resist the urge to scream as my finger meets solid flesh.

You see, I’m not in the right body. Or the right world from what I can tell. No, I’m supposed to be back home, waking up in a panic as I realize my alarm didn’t go off cuz my phone died after I stayed up way too late reading manga.

But of course, I’m not late to work, I’m in a lavish bedchamber right out of the latest webcomic I’d been reading! And by the looks of it…. I’m the crown princes crazy fiancé! As much as I love reading about the Isekai trope, I never wanted to be in one! And come on- as the Yandere Villain!? Couldn’t this at least be original? There’s hundred of stories just like “my next life as a villainess,” why couldn’t I be like… a stable hand or something? Ugh. Ok. Think!

I need to get home. Do the protagonists ever get back home in the stories I read? I pace around my room and rack my brain over every webcomic I’ve ever read, every manga I waited in line for, every anime I binged, even the unfinished manhwas! I can’t think of a single fucking one where they get home?

Well this isn’t going to stop me. I have a cat who’s going to absolutely flip if she’s not given fresh kibble in the morning. She has enough in her bowl for another 2 days but she needs it topped off ok! She’s a princess! I can’t be stuck here! Who’s going to throw her pompom toy for her if I’m not there???

What did all these have in common? What’s the barebones trope layout? Ok let’s see

1) person either died or falls asleep and wakes up in a new world…. Check

2) person is the villain!…. Check

3) to avoid the characters terrible death, person tries to change the story, ends up being new protagonist…

Ohhh… hey…. Do these Isekai characters ever just…. Play along? Even the “reincarnated as a baby” ones, they only play along till they’re old enough to try to run away or rework the political structure of the entire city. Maybe that’s it. Make it to the books natural end, and you’ll wake up where you belong. It’s like when you get part of a song stuck in your head. Play the whole song, and it’ll get out.

Ok, I’ve trained most of my adult life for this- I can totally ace this trope! I just have to stalk the crown prince, act totally in love with him, and be a bitch to the female lead. Then my finance will leave me, I’ll do some crazy dramatic act to try to kill the female lead, and then I’ll be exiled or executed, and wake up to feed my cat. How hard can it be?

Hard. It’s very hard.

Where the hell did he go!? My fiancé, the crown prince Eric, was JUST HERE. I swear! He turned that corner back there and then went down this hall… at least I think it was this hall? Ugh! This is impossible! For someone with such loud shoes and an armed escort, you’d think he’d be easier to follow! Now my feet just hurt. They don’t make these fancy shoes to run around the castle all day. They’re meant to daintily peek from beneath my many skirts as I host a tea party or some shit.

Ok. I’ve got this! I’ll just peek into each room until I find him, maybe I can get a better feel for the layout, or maybe find his office and see if he has a schedule or a day planner or something I can use to make this whole stalking thing easier.

I begin snooping, and it’s a bit of thrill to be honest! Back in my real life, I’m the kind of person to hide a wrapper deep in the trash can if I’m babysitting, sitting on the floor playing a game on my phone after the kid goes to bed rather than “making myself at home” the way the parents insisted as they showed me how to access Netflix. I’ve never been a snooper. Now…. Well. It’s totally on brand for this character! I’m not me, I’m a psycho lovesick fool! I giggle a bit at that as my fingers trail over a shelf of beautiful pottery in some sort of sitting room.

“What’s so amusing dearest?”

I practically screech as my heart leaps to my throat and I whirl around, and see the very person I’d been searching for has snuck up on ME…. That’s so unfair!

“W-what? O-oh! Nothing! I was just- uh, admiring the pottery?”

I stutter out as I try to recall how to act like a human being while simultaneously trying to stop feeling my own pulse in my ears. The idiot has the nerve to LAUGH! Full on snort and everything!

“What are you doing in this wing anyways? Weren’t you meant to be out riding today?”

Shit. I was so busy trying to figure out his schedule, I didn’t consider maybe the body I was shoved into had a schedule of her own. Ok. Play it cool- I’ve got this!

“Yes, well, I decided I wasn’t in the mood and wanted to stay in today instead.”

His brows furrow

“Oh, but you love riding? Are you feeling ill? I can fetch the royal physician for you if you-“

“No! That’s- that’s quite alright! I simply wanted a change of schedule, that is all. Um… what about you? What are your plans for the day?”

He looked a bit surprised at that, and a small smile danced on his lips.

“I was just going to the library to do some paperwork, boring stuff really, and then of course our dinner at its regular time.”

I nod like that means anything to me. Ok think, if I were crazy in love with this man, what would I say?

“Would you like some company? Reading in the library sounds really nice, maybe we could have some tea as well?”

Ok. I’m already fucking this up. He looks confused…. God damnit …. I knew I shouldn’t have skimmed over those early chapters- but the translation was shit ok!?

“Well… I’d actually love that. But are you sure? You haven’t exactly shown interest in reading, and you’ve never requested something like this before…. In fact I don’t think I can recall the last time we’ve interacted outside of dinner or a scheduled social event in… well. Ever.”

Wait…. What? Isn’t my character like goo-goo-ga-ga over him? Are you telling me she never asks to just… spend time with her lover? They only talk during dinner and parties or whatever?

“Of course, I think it’ll be relaxing! Just lead the way!”

My brain is working overtime as I smile politely at him as we reach the library and I pretend to browse for books. I’m missing something here. What is-

Oh. Shit. That’s right. I’m supposed to be really insecure and awkward about him. That’s why she stalks him- she spends all her free time obsessing over this man from the shadows, threatening the competition…. Yet chokes up when it comes to how to act natural. Her inferiority complex is what drives her entire character. And then to him, they’re just two nobles in an arranged marriage who speak on dull subjects like the weather and horse rides…. And who barely interact.

This must have been a real big shake up, she always stays out of sight, they never run into each other by chance. And she certainly never would ask to sit and read with him…. Maybe watch him do his work from a hidden keyhole somewhere, but that’s right…. She IS more of a traditional lady with her hobbies. She was raised to be the perfect noble wife, so naturally, her hobbies include things like dancing, needlepoint, and horse riding. The only studies she’s interested in are etiquette and things that noble ladies are supposed to know.

Well…. Shit. That’s so like me to already have fucked this up. But that’s ok. That’s ok- he’s going to meet the female lead and fall in love and so I just have to be the obstacle they need to overcome. Surely the details don’t matter too much…. It’s my first day in the job ok? Not everyone’s perfect!

I find a book that honestly actually sounds interesting, it’s historical, but it’s giving Hellen of Troy, the closest to a dark romance I think I’ll get from an academic personal library like this. I settle into what looks like the comfiest chair in the central area, and begin reading. The prince and I exist comfortably, the only sound being the scratch of his pen, and the occasional rustle of paper as he flips a document or I finish a page. We continue like this for several hours until he puts down his pen and clears his throat, getting my attention.

“I know it’s a long way from dinner…. But I was thinking I’d grab something light for a mid day meal and then take a walk about the gardens …. Would you care to join me?”

Honestly, some lunch and pretty royal gardens sounds like so much fun, so I agree. As we begin walking, I ponder how I can recover from all this.

You know what.. this can totally still go to plan. This is just me being the evil villain and sinking my claws into him! The female lead will appear, and I’ll reveal my true, nasty side to her! She’ll have to fight to save the prince from his marriage to me!

*insert evil laughter!*

“You’re smiling.”

“W-what?”

“A smile. It suits you. You’ve been doing that a lot today….. I like it.”

Ok and now I’m blushing. I go to reply when I suddenly find myself weightless for a moment, and then hit the ground with a hard thump.

“Ow! What the-!?”

My eyes snap up and glare at this pretty blonde girl who just rammed into me, and sent me flying

“Do you not know how to watch where you’re going!? Owww…. Ugh.”

Ok I’m sorry I’m usually a nice and understanding person but I’ve never been literally knocked over before! Who does that to a person?

Eric helps me to my feet and sends a reproachful glare toward the girl, asking me if I’m alright with most concerned look…. And the girl gasps and says,

“C-crown prince Eric! I apologize! I’d didn’t recognize you!”

She drops into a curtsy and lowers her eyes all demure and modest as if she hadn’t just bulldozed me. I send an incredulous look toward Eric…. She… didn’t see HIM? I’m the one she took out? He gives me an equally puzzled look and so I decide, you know what, fuck it. I’m this evil person in this world…. I need to act like it!

“And not recognizing his highness is an excuse for taking out the princess consort, soon to be crown princess? Are you blind or just daft?”

Oh my god I really just called someone daft! This feels like when you stay up late thinking all the witty comebacks you could’ve used against your high school bullies, except actually using them in the moment!

And Eric is being a sweetie and letting me handle this, waiting expectantly for blondie to answer me, just prompting her,

“Well?”

“Forgive me…. Princess consort…. You are right. My oversight in inexcusable. It appears neither of us were looking where we were going. I hope we can start fresh!”

I scoff- that’s it? Who does this bitch think she is? Yes, I was looking at Eric, but I was going a walking pace, who rounds a corner with so much force that you knock someone over?

Suddenly something clicks- oh shit! This is the female lead!!!! This scene happened in the story, just without the prince here. This is good, that means this is on track. Although I gotta say- I was much more on the female main characters side when reading it. Now, I just feel like she’s one of those mean girls in high school who’s not *technically* doing anything mean. Anyways- what was I supposed to say? That’s right.

“Yes…. Well. I’m sure we won’t be seeing much of each other anyways. If you’ll excuse me-“

Nailed ittttt…. Now her line?

“Well, actually…. My name is Lady Cressida, and I’ll be staying in the place for several months as my father is a foreign ambassador overseeing trade agreements with his highness the king. So I imagine we will be seeing *plenty* of each other. That goes for you too your highness! So please- forgive me, I look forward to getting to know each of you better!”

Oh that’s so cool, seeing her recite the lines from the story. But ok- I have a role to play as well. I scoff and grab Eric’s arm, pulling him behind me as I storm off, playing the part of entitled lover, stuck up and irritated at this ambassadors daughter who DARED to speak to my love.

Yea, this will work, Eric will think Cressida is a genuine sweetie, and see me as being the unreasonable bitch who’s refusing to accept her apology, or apologize for not looking where I was going either. And now I’m manhandling him- totally unlady like. God I’m killing this aren’t I? Minimum wage job and demanding cat, here I come!

What I don’t see, as I lead Eric by the arm, is the cold glare he shoots towards Cressida, before smiling down at our connected hands, an unreadable look in his eyes.

Part 2

SERIES IS DISCONTINUED- sorry y’all, just not inspired to write this anymore and don’t wanna force it.