#and I can definitely be trusted not to use it as an outlet to process my own feelings about my religion

[origami-butterfly]

Youth pastor Oscar au save me

Youth pastor Oscar au

Save me youth pastor Oscar au

[strwberri-milk]

Hello! Can i request diluc and childe (seperate) with a motherly s/o? S/o likes to pamper and praise them after a long day and give massages along with hugs and kisses to destress them c: s/o sometimes treat them like a child for fun and to lightly tease them

pov me

Diluc is used to taking care of people from the shadows. That's his whole shtick with his Darknight Hero persona after all. The only other maternal figure he can imagine in his life is Adelinde, of course. She was the closest thing he's ever had to a mother, and he loves her dearly.

When he met you he found it strange how you insisted on taking care of him. You barely knew him but the bags under his eyes concerned you greatly and now you spend all of your time trying to make sure Diluc is rested and healthy. You're in the kitchen with Adelinde, learning his favourite foods or preparing his bed so he can have a restful sleep. Even if that means threatening him to get him into bed.

He loves the feel of your hands on his body. He never asks for it, but sometimes when you see him wince extra hard you start to herd him over to a couch or bed to start massaging at the kinks in his body. You weren't the best masseuse before this but you quickly learned when you saw how much it relaxed Diluc. That, plus any sort of soft physical touch made him melt into you, eyes closing as he leans in a little closer wordlessly.

You also loved to spoil him in other ways as well. It was always easy for you to just reach over and wipe a bit of mess off his face, or just pet his hair and tell him that he's doing great. He insists he doesn't need that sort of treatment but the way that he practically glows under your attention just makes you do it more.

Diluc learns very quickly that he loves it when you take care of him, becoming much more comfortable in letting you do what you think he needs. He trusts you completely, and to be honest, your attentions are helping him perform better than he ever was before.

Childe has always also been someone who takes care of others. That means when the two of you got together it almost became a competition of who can take care of who better.

The two of you always pamper each other with attention however you can, you especially with how hard he works. You know Childe does his best to be deserving of his title, and always have room in your arms for him to curl up in whenever he comes home from a hard day.

At first, he didn't warm up as fast as you may have wanted him too. There was always something in his eyes that made you feel his reservations, but you were paitient. It only took a bit of time and some homecooked meals for him to warm up to you. When he realised you were genuinely just trying to be nice he started trying to one-up you.

However, he definitely has a bit of a soft spot for being babied. He's spent so much of his time being grown that he never really felt like he was able to be that vulnerable. Having you around and giving him that outlet allowed him to process some of those feelings and become a bit more comfortable in your presence.

Because of how much you care for him, he's willing to fully let down his guard in front of you, routinely falling asleep in your lap when he's in desperate need of relaxation and peace.

The bonus here is you're great with all of his siblings. They love you to pieces and so does he! So of course when you were introduced to the rest of the family they all immediately took you in and decided you were one of them. You helped him chase the youngest ones or gave the older ones advice on whatever was troubling them today. Watching you spend so much time with his family is making him consider trying to start a family of his own, once he's more settled in life.

[petrenocka]

Maybe that's a hot take, but I do think Wrathion being absent in Legion is a great writing choice.

Sure, entirely sidestepping the character who self-fulfilling prophecy-ed the expansion into being might seem silly, but for Wrathion's own ark it makes perfect sense.

Because at this point Wrathion is absolutely convinced that Azeroth is doomed. His plans to muster an army capable of dealing with The Burning Legion could not have been more of a failure. He has every reason to believe that his vision of the end is guaranteed to come true and that he is the cause of it. Just from him touching the problem, even with the best intentions it got worse in every way.

That's entirely too much to take in for a person who's entire purpose is proving to the world and more importantly to himself, that his nature and heritage is NOT that of a world ending monster.

Not going to lie, big mood checking out of trying after fucking up so bad it reinforces every single doubt you have about your worth.

This is exasperated by Wrathions self perception as a ""smart guy who sees the reality for what it is"". When you conclude with certainty by using cold facts and logic that you are a failure, are always wrong and break everything you touch, a depressed mind won't catch the contradiction between "I'm always wrong" and "my self assessment is correct".

Not only does Wrathion's pride feed his faith in his doom prophecy, the irreversibility if his mistake. It most definitely makes him completely unpreceptive to the possibility that whatever he is currently thinking bout himself may not be true.

Makes sense why Wrathion would be paralyzed in a dark corner somewhere the entire expansion.

But then the unthinkable happens: mortals beat The Burning Legion, and we beat it so hard Fell is now more or less off the multiverse politics chart for the time being. We kill a Titan for god's sake!

Which for Wrathion was probably such a relief and, barrirring actual therapy, exactly what he needed. Not only could he rejoice that his mistake literally wasn't the end of the world, it meant his prophecy was wrong. More importantly here he has the best possible proof that mortals of Azeroth can stand up for themselves. That he doesn't need to be the one hero to save the day, but that perhaps just participating in the process is enough.

My headcanon is that it was enough to let Wrathion put himself back together somewhat and after climbing out of that hole he jumped into Void research as an outlet/distraction. Hence why he is suddenly the best specialist on protection against Old God corruption in VoN.

And after all of that Wrathion gets character development that allows him to be content with playing a secondary role in defeating N'Zoth. He was invaluable yes, but he allowed us to take center stage, puts his trust in us to do our thing. And in my opinion self isolation and paranoia/need for control where the main things that left Neltarion vulnerable to old god influence.

Which makes it so neat that this is how Wrathion finally gets an oh so needed W. As well as quite literally allows black dragons to return ro Azeroth.

[izvmimi]

please mimi you know I love your mind I love your reflections and the way you think I love when you speak literally anything sfsgshdhf share with us your thoughts on selfshipping (if u want) and bless our dash 🎤

oh rumi fajdfklj;ad;sfa please you flatter me

i have so many insane thoughts on selfshipping since i started doing it essentially by accident around 2 years ago but really in retrospect, i sort of did it my whole life whenever i was writing stories for fun... anyway:

i think selfshipping is such a great creative outlet because it really gets you thinking about characters and situations and plots in a way you can be more invested in because you're involved yk?

i think selfshipping is great for self-esteem because this is the one way you can just make things go your way you know? you can tell yourself that these characters love you for who you are, love you despite, through, and for your faults and no one can take them away from you

selfshipping is a safe way to recontextualize scenarios you have experienced that hurt you, or that were really great and made you feel strong, and sort of affirm them? it's also great for imagining what you would do in situations you haven't experienced and preparing for them!

i LOVE selfshipping with friends because you learn so much about yourself and about them (and i really say friends because it has to be KIND people who LOVE you because there's a lot of harm you can do otherwise and i've seen it and i abhor it), and it's a really good way to just talk and be vulnerable without having to truly just be like 'my relationship with my parents is damaged because x' and 'i feel loved when people do y', something that i think is harder to do with people you are getting to know

being more granular about the point above, i think selfshipping with friends is particularly helpful in helping you even begin the action of talking about feelings and actions, like putting the words in your mouth to communicate these things??? it's a whole process that i need to think about how to explain more but there's definitely some practice needed in like opening up about these private thoughts and feelings with other people like in discord or on tumblr or whatever

there's probably more i can share but i cannot even being to explain how many things i've learned just from selfshipping! there arenatural assumptions that i've made about people and relationships that were challenged by people i've talked to, and i've challenged other people's biases as well! i've learned that i do have a specific type and it's really related to what i value in a partner and what i value in myself and what i think completes me or repels me. similarly, the characters i don't feel affinity to also say a lot about me in similar ways.

and even discussing scenarios with friends, sometimes the sequence of events you choose when you're on a roll and you have the floor to speak on an au can say a lot about you, and often we've had instances where we had to like break and like challenge a notion. like 'why do you think this character wouldn't like you? why do you find that romantic? how come you made them do this in response and not that? why didn't you anticipate this reaction vs the other?'

again i want to reiterate if you do selfship with friends (highly recommend) they should be people you trust, because you really can get your feelings hurt

one more thing is!!! I THINK THE MOST IMPORTANT THING ABOUT SELFSHIPPING, ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU ARE SHARING:

you are constantly reaffirming that people WANT to hear your thoughts and WANT to see you be happy, and i think that's so important!!!

anyway, i do feel insane sometimes but honestly, it's free therapy for yourself and it's fun!

[bluegladiatorstudent]

### Navigating Unexplainable Emotions: You're Not Alone

Have you ever found yourself wrapped up in a wave of emotions that you just can't put into words? Maybe it’s a mix of excitement, sadness, frustration, and confusion, all bubbling up at once, leaving you feeling lost. If this sounds familiar, know that you are definitely not alone.

As teenagers, we’re experiencing so many firsts. First loves, first heartbreaks, first real successes, and failures. It’s natural to feel a whirlwind of emotions during this time. But what happens when you can’t quite understand what you’re feeling?

### It’s Okay to Not Have All the Answers

One of the most important things to remember is that it’s completely okay not to have all the answers. Sometimes, emotions don’t have a clear-cut cause or solution. They can be influenced by a variety of factors like hormones, changes in friendships, academic pressures, or even just a lack of sleep. It's okay to sit with these feelings and simply acknowledge them without fully understanding where they come from.

### You’re Not Alone

Believe me when I say, many of us feel the same way. We all go through periods of emotional confusion and vulnerability. Even those who seem to have everything figured out can be hiding their own struggles. That’s why it’s so important to talk about what you’re going through. Share your feelings with a friend, a family member, or even a trusted teacher. They might not have a perfect solution for you, but just knowing that someone else understands can be incredibly reassuring.

### Ways to Navigate These Feelings

1. **Keep a Journal:** Writing down your thoughts can help you process what you’re feeling. You don’t have to worry about grammar or spelling—just let your emotions flow onto the paper.

2. **Find a Creative Outlet:** Whether it’s drawing, playing music, or even cooking, channeling your feelings into something creative can be a powerful way to work through them.

3. **Practice Self-Care:** Sometimes, the best thing you can do is take care of yourself. This could mean taking a long bath, going for a walk, or simply watching your favorite movie. Self-care isn’t selfish; it’s necessary.

4. **Seek Professional Help:** If your emotions are becoming too overwhelming, consider talking to a mental health professional. They can provide coping strategies and support tailored to your needs.

### The Power of Community

Remember that we’re all in this together. By sharing our experiences and being there for one another, we create a supportive community. Your feelings are valid, and there’s strength in acknowledging and confronting them.

You might not always be able to explain what you’re feeling, but that doesn’t diminish their importance or your strength in dealing with them. We’re all on this unpredictable emotional journey, learning and growing together. Take a deep breath and remind yourself: it’s okay to feel. You’re not alone.

---

Sending lots of empathy and understanding your way. Keep moving forward—we’re all cheering for you.

Feel free to leave comments below or share your personal stories. Let’s support each other!

[kuleana--does-anyone-care]

capstone update #1

TO REITERATE: I'm planning to produce a 30-min documentary film.

Hello, I'm finally here to update my blog! I meant to do this last week, but didn't... I was struggling to wrap my head around this project and what I'll be doing this semester.

I think I'm a little crazy for taking this on. Sometimes it feels like too much, but I certainly won't be quitting.

My first reality check was trying to populate the workback plan. It was a necessary step, but so difficult. I had to come back to it a few times to get it sorted out. I always feel like I'm overlooking something when I'm planning out a project, and I've never tried to produce something of this magnitude before. But I sat down with my workback plan again tonight and finally have it in good shape. Coming back to it has helped me process what I'll need to do, and I feel pretty certain now that I'm not forgetting anything. I also recreated my workback plan in Notion, because I don't think I'll be able to stay on track if I only look at it on Google Sheets. (The formatting... the lack of color-coding and other viewing modes... Nah, homie, I can't. TwT) I also gave myself dates to complete things by. I know I can work to a deadline, and now I have a ton of them. Isn't that fantastic!

Anyway, I'm really happy with my organization on this project now that I have all my tasks thought out, written down, and with dates. The tricky part now will be keeping the Google Sheet updated according to the Notion.

Right now I have a bunch of tasks marked as "in progress." There's so much I need to do in the next two weeks, mostly making lists of people and Instagram accounts to reach out to. I already follow a lot of accounts but I have not created a master list for myself to keep track of them all. Once I have my list, I can start drafting up messages to send to them, asking if they might want to participate in my doc, or could put me in connection with people who would. I'm kind of worried that I don't have much to show for myself, a presence, or a reason why they should trust me, that kind of thing. But I'll try it anyway.

I also need to draft emails/ send texts/ make phone calls to people I know, who said in one way or another that they might be able to lend a voice to my project. Cast out a bunch of lines and see if I get any bites. 🎣

Another thing is, I want to find videos on YouTube and Vimeo of the ʻOnipaʻa Peace March that happened a couple weeks ago. I wasn't able to go myself, but I'd really like to incorporate footage of it into my film. Maybe someone would be willing to let me use a few of their shots. If not a person, maybe one of the local news outlets. I also need to do some research. I have a playlist of some news clips about the Red Hill water crisis from when I made my 5-minute piece about it in Fall '22. But there have been updates since then, and I need to collect even more. I'm not 100% sure what or how much I'll do with it yet. But my creative process is 'collect all the stuff, look at and absorb it all, ???, get vision, create the vision'... so step one is gathering more things. :)

Also want to find more PDFs. Last semester, I found some studies and national news articles about Red Hill, pollution by the Navy/ issues similar to what's happening here, but my research topic was persuasion, so I spent the vast majority of my time on that. There's definitely more out there, and I want to find it because I'm thinking of using scans/ screenshots in my film.

Oh, and I'm planning to request titles from ʻUluʻulu by 2.16. Gonna try my absolute best to stay on top of the deadlines I've set for myself. LONG POST: FINITO!!!

[cricutmaker3]

Cricut Computer Setup: Full Guide for Windows and Mac

Ever since I started doing the Cricut computer setup, the excitement of setting up a new Cricut machine is still as fresh as it ever was. But do you know how to setup a Cricut machine on a computer? If your answer is no, then chillax! You have already opened the right page, so you will definitely find something helpful.

So, what do we need to do before setting up a Cricut? Well, the only thing you will need to know is to establish a connection between your Cricut and computer. But the next question is—HOW? And by which method? There are two methods: USB or Bluetooth. We can do it easily by following some easy ways. Want to know? Let’s check out this blog to learn more!

Lastly, you must complete the machine setup, and this process is the same for both Mac and Windows. Let’s get started!

Cricut Computer Setup for Windows and Mac

Setup is easy if you will do it once. But even if you are a beginner, it is going to be a breeze. Just trust me and follow the steps that I have given below. Remember the below-mentioned steps are the same for both Mac and Windows computers:

Here’s the Cricut setup on computer (Windows and Mac):

First, launch an internet browser and head to the cricut.com/setup website.

Now, you will need to download and install the Cricut software on your computer.

Next, follow the steps given to your display and create your new Cricut account accordingly.

If you already have an account, you should sign in to your Cricut ID using your username and password.

Then, select your Cricut machine model for the setup procedure.

Now, switch on the Cricut by inserting the power cable into its power outlet.

Hit the power button on your Cricut machine.

Next, establish a connection between the Cricut and your device, either using a USB cord or Bluetooth (To learn how to connect it properly, you should navigate to the next section given below).

Afterward, you should register your Cricut cutting machine.

Finally, your Cricut setup on computer is done, and you will be prompted to test the cut.

Now, you might have learned the Cricut computer setup. Below, I have explained how to connect your Cricut to your computer via Bluetooth. Let’s delve into it!

How to Connect Cricut Machine to Computer via Bluetooth?

Here, I want to focus on the steps to connect Cricut to a computer. Many crafters, especially beginners, can face difficulties while connecting. So, I’ve made it easier for you.

Below are the steps to connect Cricut to a Mac and Windows using a Bluetooth wireless connection:

Windows

The first thing you need to do is keep your machine at an adequate distance, about 10-15 feet from your computer. If you are using Explore models, you should insert the wireless Bluetooth adapter.

Now, check whether you have enabled Bluetooth. To do this, go to Settings and then move to the Devices option.

Then, you can enable Bluetooth by clicking on the toggle button.

Next, click on the Add Bluetooth or other device.

So, you will have to wait until your Bluetooth finds your Cricut machine.

Afterward, select the machine from the available list.

Finally, you have successfully paired the machine.

Mac

The first step would be the same as the above.

Then, you have to hit the Apple menu and select the System Preferences option from the given options.

Look for the Bluetooth option and check whether it is enabled or off. If it is off, you should turn it on.

Now, you will see your Mac Bluetooth is looking for an available device, such as your Cricut machine.

Once your Cricut machine appears in the list, you must select it to pair with your computer.

Once the pairing is done with your Mac, you are ready to setup your machine further.

Once you complete your Cricut computer setup, you can start making your projects hassle-free.

FAQs

How is the Cricut app crucial for machine setup?

The Cricut app, Cricut Design Space, plays a pivotal role in machine setup. It helps you connect your Cricut machine setup and allows your computer to communicate with your Cricut cutting machine. Whether it is a computer or mobile device, the Cricut software is compatible with all four platforms: Mac, Windows, iOS, and Android. However, you will be prompted to download the app during machine setup. Thus, it is a crucial part of the Cricut machine setup. Without this software, your setup is incomplete.

What are the system requirements for using Cricut software on Mac?

The minimum system requirements for using the Cricut Design app on a Mac computer are as follows:

macOS 11 or later

USB port or Bluetooth

1.83 GHz CPU

Minimum 2 to 3 Mbps download speed and 1 to 2 Mbps upload speed

4 GB RAM

2 GB free disk space

Minimum display screen resolution of 1024px x 768px

Can I setup my Cricut machine using my Samsung Galaxy?

Yes, you can setup your Cricut machine using your Samsung Galaxy device. To setup on an Android phone, you have to follow the steps below:

First, connect the Cricut’s power cord to the wall outlet.

You need to pair your device and the Cricut via Bluetooth.

Then, you have to download the Cricut app from the Google Play Store.

Open the software and start signing in or creating a Cricut ID.

Choose the model, and your setup will be completed.

Final Thoughts

In a nutshell, I have explained the Cricut computer setup procedure in easy steps for both Mac and Windows users. The setup process given in this blog is based on the setup that I performed recently. It doesn’t matter whether you are a Mac or Windows computer. For any Cricut users, the setup is a must to get started! Without this, you will not be able to make a single cut.

For more information visit: cricut design space download design.cricut.com cricut.com/create

Source: Cricut setup on computer

[kiloskywalker]

🥺 Is there a certain type of moment or common interaction between your characters that never fails to put you in your feels?

👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please!

🦅 Do you outline fics or fly by the seat of your pants?

I can always trust @chaotictarlos to ask the good questions: 🥺 Is there a certain type of moment or common interaction between your characters that never fails to put you in your feels?

Definitely how both TK and Carlos seem to have physical touch as one of their love languages. I love that, from the little hand holds they do, to Carlos' scritches on TK's chest at the airport (that one is adorable idk why), to the way they bury their faces into the other persons' neck. Its cute and I love it. In a couple of my fics, I use that as a little bit of a cue. I tend to like to write really intense drama stuff (i'm a sucker for hurt/comfort), and there are times when I use one character holding/touching another character as a mental cue to remind them that the other is still there, alive, and breathing. 👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please!

OOOOH BOYYYY, I'm so excited. I have a number of small drabbles that I write usually just for myself as a creative outlet. But my magnum opus for this year is my upcoming multichapter AU: "Take My Breath Away". Without giving too much away, its essentially a Tarlos slow burn, enemies/rivals to lovers, fighter pilot TOP GUN AU. My goal is to have the fic completely written out before I send it to get checked and edited where I will plan on releasing it one chapter at a time. Not only that, but I do have a FULL SERIES with this AU planned, with at least two or three other fics that will come after it. I'm excited, and nervous, and so proud of it. 🦅 Do you outline fics or fly by the seat of your pants?

Both. I tend out do a long one page outline that reads more like a basic plot so I have an idea where the story will go. From there, I break that down into subsections and scenes (this part I do by hand in a journal, its part of my process and helps way more than just going in blind and typing it on a document). I also tend to write in order as opposed to jumping around and writing different scenes whenever the inspiration strikes, it helps to ensure that there are fewer plot holes. I use GoogleDocs to write and collect all the fics since I have it on multiple devices and since I travel a lot for work I usually don't take my laptop with me everywhere and instead will take my personal iPad to type everything out on. Sometimes I will write it even on the GoogleDocs app on my phone between flights. Thank you so much for the questions! I had fun answering them!

[nettlestingsoup]

Hi morgan <33333 hope you're doing well :D

1,2,5,6,8,9,17,18,30,31,38,44,49 for the fanfic writer asks <333

hi evy! i'm doing ok! looking forward to getting some rest over christmas!

1 and 8: answered here for honey!

2: answered here for fien!

5: i’ve been writing stories in general since i was about six? my sister started writing stories, and obviously i had to copy her, and then i just... never stopped. i started writing fic in 2018 sometime when i met my stay friends at uni! it was a nice way to bond with them while we were still getting to know each other, and they’re now some of the few people i trust to show my writing to when it’s unfinished and imperfect.

6: writing has done a lot of good work for my mental health, i think! it encourages me to look inwards and consider why i’m writing the themes i am or just gives me an outlet for bad emotions rather than turning them inwards. it’s done wonders for my confidence over the years, too; i think it’s something that even i can’t deny that i’m fairly good at, and it’s good to have that when my brain tries to tell me that i’m mediocre at everything.

9: i’m terrible with writing to deadlines, so not really. i might set deadlines for editing, but my writing is often so unpredictably long that i couldn’t write to a deadline if i tried (the thing i tried to write in time for my friend’s birthday? it might be done by her next birthday. in october 2023. maybe.)

17: i love fantasy AUs as a whole really, but i’m always drawn to vampire AUs! the only reason i haven’t written one of my own is because i think there are far too many good ones, and i worry that i wouldn’t be able to come up with something unique enough to match up.

18: i really love writing seungchan? i think it’s partially that they’re my favourite members to write, and partially that they’re the members who can often come across as most serious (although they’ve both been silly in interviews lately) and so i feel like i can put them in slightly darker stories. seungbin and jeongchan are creeping up the list though.

30: the hardest part of writing happens once i’m about 80% of the way through a story; i’ve done most of the fun worldbuilding by that point, and most of the very emotional scenes have to give way to Actual Plot before i can write an emotional ending. it’s the point in a fic where i’m most likely to get bored and have to drag myself through the writing process.

31: big descriptive scenes! i love sitting and describing things, it’s a wonderful exercise in creativity and it allows me to set a scene really well. i love the experience of choosing which words to use to set the tone of a story; i’d describe the same forest using very different wording in a faerie fantasy au to a horror fantasy au for example, and it comes very naturally to me to just sit and set the scene before any pesky characters or dialogue get involved.

38: all the time! occasionally i get nostalgic for my own concepts, or reminded of them by friends or ao3 comments, and i’ll reread sections or whole fics then. it sounds a little arrogant, but sometimes my own fics are the only ones that scratch the itch for very specific content in my brain. it makes sense, i suppose. i wrote them exactly to my own taste, after all.

44: i tend to write linear these days! i’ll definitely plan future scenes (with the orchid, for example, i’d been waiting for weeks to get to the scene where minho admits he’d deactivate his own emotional processor if seungmin got hurt) but i tend to leave them hanging there as incentive to write the scenes leading up to them.

49: i guess the writing advice i’d give is to not be afraid of being a little bit weird? just genuinely write how you want to write, not in a way you think is good or that people will like. i find writing a lot more fun and fulfilling when i let myself use the bizarre metaphors and odd descriptors that i actually want to, rather than worrying that people won’t like or understand it.

thank you for asking these! they were a lot of fun; this ask game actually has a lot of really good ones. <3

[eunicemiddleton421]

What to Do If You Suspect Your Husband Is Cheating

Infidelity can be one of the most painful experiences in a marriage, and the suspicion alone can lead to anxiety, confusion, and a rollercoaster of emotions. While each relationship is unique, knowing how to approach this delicate situation thoughtfully can help you navigate through this period with clarity, grace, and self-care.

1. Understand and Acknowledge Your Feelings

The initial signs of suspicion may feel overwhelming, and it’s normal to feel hurt, betrayed, angry, or anxious. Allow yourself to process these emotions without judgment. Journaling or speaking to a trusted friend can provide an outlet for these feelings, helping you approach the situation with a clearer mindset.

2. Evaluate the Evidence Thoughtfully

It’s essential to approach this with caution, as not all signs of infidelity are definitive proof. Common signs may include emotional distance, sudden changes in habits, secretive behavior with phones, or an unusual interest in appearance. However, these behaviors alone don’t necessarily indicate an affair. Avoid jumping to conclusions based on circumstantial evidence; instead, focus on observing behavior patterns.

3. Avoid Spying or Confronting Prematurely

It may be tempting to check his messages, social media accounts, or emails. However, violating privacy can backfire, as it may damage trust and make the situation more complicated. Additionally, avoid making accusations without evidence, as these conversations often escalate emotionally. Instead, consider an honest dialogue when you’re ready.

4. Seek Professional Support for Perspective

Before taking any steps, consulting with a counselor or therapist can offer valuable insight. An objective third party can help you process your emotions, explore the reasons behind your suspicion, and develop a strategy to address the situation. Couples therapy may also be beneficial later, especially if both partners are open to it.

5. Communicate Calmly and Honestly

Once you feel confident in your observations, consider discussing your concerns with your husband. Approach this conversation from a place of honesty and openness rather than accusation. Use “I” statements to express your feelings, such as, “I’ve been feeling distanced lately and wanted to understand what’s happening between us.” This reduces defensiveness and encourages more productive conversation.

6. Set Boundaries and Express Your Needs

During your conversation, clarify what you need from him to feel reassured. Whether it’s transparency, emotional support, or counseling, setting clear boundaries can guide your relationship moving forward. At the same time, ask him to share any concerns he may have, allowing for a balanced dialogue.

7. Decide What’s Best for You

Infidelity doesn’t necessarily mean the end of a relationship, but it does require a reevaluation of the marriage and commitment. Decide what’s best for you, considering whether you’re both willing to work on rebuilding trust. Some couples choose to part ways, while others find reconciliation and healing possible. Permit yourself to choose the path that aligns with your values and mental well-being.

8. Focus on Self-Care

Regardless of the outcome, prioritize your mental, physical, and emotional well-being. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family, engage in activities that bring you joy, and seek out self-care practices that help you reconnect with yourself. This can help build resilience, whatever direction the relationship takes.

[thefrogman]

Some additional thoughts...

I recently saw Across the Spider-Verse and it was a true love letter to artists. The most beautiful movie I've ever seen. But animating a 2 hour movie like that is an immense task and they used machine learning and generative techniques to help reduce the workload on things like linework. Again, they only input assets that were created by the artists working on the movie, but it is the same underlying technology that is controversial.

The one thing I think many misunderstand is that for professional art, A.I. can rarely create a finished product. It's good enough for a Facebook avatar and maybe a low budget advertisement, but for people expecting professional quality, you can rarely prompt your way to a polished result. The folks on Spider-Verse and the folks at Method (the VFX company for Secret Invasion) could not just enter a prompt and end up with a finished frame. I imagine animating A.I. generations was probably not easy at all.

Though I will say if Method combined their assets with the training data from Midjourney or Stable Diffusion, then fuck them. They should know better. But I am going to reserve judgment until the entire workflow is known.

As the technology advances, a finished product might be possible. I don't know. But as of right now, artists are still required when dealing with A.I. generations.

I'm not trying to make excuses or even moral judgments about people using these tools. This is all happening so fast and it is immensely complicated. I guess I just want people to understand the actual processes so we have all the information needed to hopefully steer this beast in a direction that does the least harm to artists, but allows helpful tools for art production.

This is the behind the scenes of the Corridor short.

My biggest issues are that they are using a movie that was animated by dozens of artists to train the A.I. No credit or compensation was given to those artists. They even say in the video that you could train the A.I. with your own images. And I think they could have hired an artist to create a style and produce images to train with.

And my other issue was Niko's take on "democratizing" art. That didn't make much sense and it sounded like he was trying to justify the more unethical aspects of A.I. art generation.

That said, if the A.I. is not trained with stolen art, would a video like this be ethical? It still took artists to create. It still required months of work, which means artists were paid well. By no means was this "push a button, get anime."

A lot of people believe any use of A.I. is unethical. They don't trust that this tech could ever be used ethically and big corporations are going to exploit it every chance they get. It is too dangerous to exist as an option. And I definitely have those same worries.

I mostly just want tools to help me save energy. I miss photography and my original Photoshop creations. I haven't really been able to create art since my health took a turn. Some of these tools could really help me return to what I love.

And there are other disabled people that can't hold a pen or use a mouse. Maybe these generators aren't exactly like creating art, but they can still be an outlet for creativity. I have a friend who is quadriplegic and he is loving all of the new A.I. tools. Bringing his imagination to life is quite therapeutic for him. He says it feels like drawing with his brain. Is there a way for him to still have that outlet without harming artists in general?

Maybe the solution is just... universal basic income.

This is the one problem I predicted about A.I.

People are not making the distinction between A.I. generated art and people using A.I. tools to create art.

Photoshop already has several plugins and filters that use A.I. to help create an effect or complete a task. These are tools to help artists bypass tedious work that does not require any artistic input. I don't consider making a difficult selection an art form. It's just a task I need to complete in order to make art. And if there is a way to make the selection faster, I want that tool.

But these titles are created in a limbo area. And we need to decide if this process is included in the "A.I. is bad" discussion.

Marvel hired a VFX company to create titles that did not look like a human created them. This fits the theme of the show. So, artists trained an A.I. with relevant images of the characters and elements of the show. And then they used the A.I. to output weird, non-human imagery. The A.I. did not create a finished project. Human artists had to revise, tweak, animate, and dramatically alter the output from the A.I.

They used A.I. as a tool rather than a replacement for human artists.

This kind of process still requires a ton of labor. It did not rob artists of a job.

Corridor Digital did something similar to create an original anime short and it took them months to complete. The sketchy thing that made their short movie unethical was that they trained the A.I. using an old movie which they did not create themselves. If they had paid artists to create a style to train the A.I., I think that would have been more ethical.

While the VFX company for Secret Invasion did use original assets, I can't find out if they used any additional images for training the A.I.

Adobe uses only stock photos that they own for their Firefly A.I. So it is entirely possible to create an image generator with assets that are not stolen or copyrighted.

So I guess my question is... if they trained the A.I. with images they owned, and they used the A.I. as a tool, and it still created many hours of labor and did not replace artists, is that still unethical?

That is not for me alone to decide. And I am not entirely sure I personally have a definitive answer to that yet.

As a disabled artist, I might see this a little differently. If I had a tool that could keep me from manually having to do tedious tasks, that would save me a great deal of energy. I could focus more on the art and the result rather than meticulously cutting things out or doing hours of cloning or manually painting in the top or sides of an image so it fits a desired aspect ratio.

Or what if I have a photo of a person that stops at the knees, but I need to see the feet for the desired result? Right now, I would have to find legs from another image and blend them in.

Or what if I don't have a clean background plate and I need to remove a large element in a photo? I might have to drag an entire building or brick wall in and color match, perspective match, and levels match.

These things can take hours. But with the new A.I. powered generative fill, it only takes seconds. For me, time is energy and A.I. has the potential to let me create more art despite my disability.

I have a hard time seeing it as pure evil. I think it is a tool. And I think history has shown that tools can be used for good and bad. I understand that people are really worried about art theft and losing jobs. But I think the solution might be to regulate the tool rather than destroy it altogether. And as I said in the past, I don't think it can be destroyed. I think it is here and we have to deal with it existing.

I will say, Marvel/Disney using an A.I. tool at this moment when we haven't figured hardly anything out... that definitely sucks. This was just awful timing and did not help peoples' fears that big studios are going to replace artists with A.I. content.

[railrecipee]

Food in Train with RailRecipe: A Delightful and Convenient Experience

Traveling by train in India is an experience that combines scenic beauty with the rhythm of the tracks. However, finding good quality food during the journey can be a challenge. RailRecipe addresses this need by offering a seamless food in train ordering process and a variety of delectable dishes. Let’s explore how RailRecipe enhances the train travel experience with its exceptional food services, easy ordering process, and positive customer reviews.

A Culinary Journey on Rails

RailRecipe understands that good food is a crucial part of any journey. Their extensive menu caters to a wide range of tastes and dietary needs. Whether you’re craving North Indian, South Indian, Chinese, or Continental cuisine, RailRecipe has something to satisfy your palate. They also offer special meals like Jain food, diabetic-friendly options, and kid-friendly meals, ensuring everyone’s preferences are met.

The Simple Food Order Process

Ordering food with RailRecipe is straightforward and hassle-free. Here’s how it works:

Visit the RailRecipe Website or App: Begin by visiting the RailRecipe website or downloading the RailRecipe app. Both platforms are user-friendly and designed to provide a smooth browsing experience.

Enter Your Journey Details: Input your PNR number or train details, including the train number and date of the journey. This helps RailRecipe identify your train route and the stations where they can deliver your food.

Browse the Menu: Once your journey details are entered, you can browse through the extensive menu. RailRecipe offers a wide range of options, including vegetarian, non-vegetarian, and special diet meals.

Select Your Favorite Dishes: Choose the dishes you want to order. The menu includes detailed descriptions and prices, making it easy for you to decide.

Place Your Order: After selecting your dishes, proceed to place your order. You can choose to pay online through various secure payment options or opt for cash on delivery.

Food Delivery: RailRecipe coordinates with partner restaurants along your route to ensure timely delivery. Your food is freshly prepared and delivered to your seat at the designated station.

Ensuring Quality and Freshness

RailRecipe partners with trusted restaurants and food outlets across India. They ensure that the food is prepared hygienically and packaged securely to maintain freshness. The food is delivered hot and ready to eat, making your train journey enjoyable and satisfying.

Customer Positive Reviews

RailRecipe has garnered numerous positive reviews from satisfied customers, highlighting their exceptional service and quality food. Here are a few testimonials from happy passengers:

“A Delightful Experience”

“I was traveling from Delhi to Mumbai and decided to try RailRecipe for the first time. The food was delivered right to my seat at the exact time promised. The packaging was neat, and the food was delicious and fresh. It was a delightful experience, and I will definitely use RailRecipe for my future train journeys.” - Priya S.

“Highly Recommended”

“As a frequent traveler, I have tried various train food services, but RailRecipe stands out. Their menu is diverse, and the quality of food is top-notch. I ordered a South Indian meal, and it was as good as any restaurant. Highly recommended!” - Rakesh K.

“Perfect for Families”

“Traveling with kids can be challenging, especially when it comes to food. RailRecipe made it so easy for us. We ordered a variety of dishes, including some kid-friendly meals, and everything was perfect. The kids loved the food, and we were all happy and satisfied. Thank you, RailRecipe!” - Neha M.

“Convenient and Reliable”

“I often travel long distances for work, and RailRecipe has been a game-changer for me. The convenience of ordering online and having fresh food delivered right to my seat is unmatched. The quality and taste are always consistent. RailRecipe has made my train journeys much more enjoyable.” - Amit R.

“Fantastic Service”

“RailRecipe has truly revolutionized food in trains. The variety is incredible, and the service is fantastic. My friends and I ordered a mix of North Indian and Chinese dishes, and every item was delicious. The food was delivered on time, hot and fresh. I highly recommend RailRecipe to all train travelers.” - Sneha P.

“Great Experience Every Time”

“I have used RailRecipe multiple times and have never been disappointed. The food is always fresh, and the delivery is prompt. Their customer service is also excellent. It’s great to know that I can rely on RailRecipe for quality food every time I travel by train.” - Vikram S.

Conclusion

RailRecipe transforms the train travel experience by providing high-quality, delicious food right to your seat. With a simple and efficient ordering process, a wide variety of dishes, and numerous positive customer reviews, RailRecipe ensures that your journey is both comfortable and enjoyable. Next time you travel by train, let RailRecipe take care of your dining needs, so you can sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride.

[myyworldinadaze]

12.3.23 - 2:48p: gave up IG just to hop back on tumblr. my life is not too hot at the moment. not the worst but definitely just not the business. mainly dealing with my shortcomings as a parent. my priorities were not in the right place and now my son is acting out pretty bad. I have my household to maintain, new job but still not enough support around me to have freedom to repair the damage done. I used IG as an escape, a major distraction from what was truly important. I wasn't using it properly. IG is not terrible, it's just how you pair it with your life. I'm so internally damaged that I seek attention from family and friends by carefully curating posts to my IG stories for views and conversations. Ignoring my son in the process, brushing him off but using him at the same time for "IG clout". I got triggered pretty bad by something on IG that really made me wild paranoid. I was distraught but by my own doing. It happened while I was at work and I did not like that experience at all. I didn't want to feel that way anymore. I didn't want my sanity being toyed with like that anymore. I had to give it up for the time being. It should not be having me all fucked up in the head. I should not allow something as silly as social media to have such power over my life. I had to let it go. I had to regain some sort of control. I gathered phone numbers I didn't have and got rid of it. I have done it once before and came back after like 3 years. I'm not sure how long I'll be off of it. Indefinitely or temporarily. I'm gauging it based on if I'm able to find a solid balance with my life and then maybe slowly integrating myself back into it. I just don't trust myself because I'm very vulnerable right now. I'm crying everyday. Not all day but literally every single day. It's mentally exhausting. I feel like this isn't another attention-seeking thing for me. I'm not tagging or trying to boost recognition for this space. I just need an outlet. I thought physically journaling would work but writing my thoughts feels different from typing. I like with tumblr that I can find pictures, quotes and music to mix in with my thoughts. I don't want to be found but if anyone happens to resonate, then welcome to my space. I surprisingly did have followers when I had my old tumblr blog and I honestly don't know why or how lol. I think I did tag my posts but mainly for my own archive to find my own stuff easily. My son is napping so I have the time to get in at least one post before he wakes up. I'm working on being more present with him, practicing more patience with him. He has a lot of learning and unlearning to do. He needs me and I need him. Single parenting is no joke. Taking it one day at a time...

[feels-like-floating]

Colloboh (a portmanteau of Collins Oboh) is a Nigerian-born, Los Angeles-based experimental producer and composer who has spent the past several years cultivating genre-spanning modular wizardry. We had a chance to chat with Colloboh about music as meditation, his summer residency with us, and trusting in the guide and the glide.

Let’s get started. What drives you to make music and what do you hope to share with it?

Collins: Making music is more like a meditation for me. It's just the way I express myself because I'm not the best at verbally expressing emotions, I'm still getting better at that. Music is an outlet for me to express myself.

What do you mean by music being a meditation?

Collins: It's like getting into a zone where I can spend hours listening to one loop. It feels meditative, you know? It's hard to explain. It's getting in a zone where your mind is clear, and you just flow into it. It's a way to practice intuition for me. When I'm making music, something pops out, and I'm like, "Okay, let's keep going with that idea." It's about flowing and practicing intuition, trusting the process of things.

Like being in a stable flow, I totally feel that. Is your interest in loops what got you into synthesizers?

Collins: Not necessarily synthesizers. I just like the idea of sculpting something. It's pretty analogous to being a sculptor with a marble piece: you have this raw thing that you can sculpt into anything you want. That's what attracts me to synthesis and using synthesizers. Starting with raw waveforms like sine waves, saw waves, and square waves, you can sculpt those sounds by filtering, adding delays, and other effects, combining different elements. It's just fun, you know?

Is there anything that led you to start playing with synthesizers in that way?

Well, I started making music with some friends back in high school. I was making beats for them, and we were in a little rap group. Then I watched this one YouTube video that convinced me to get into modular synthesizers. It's been about eight or nine years now. Shout out to YouTube.

Literally. It's free information. Love it. I heard that you used to study some kind of science before?

Oh yeah, I was into data engineering.

Do you feel like that has any crossover with your music practice?

I actually get asked that a lot, but it's funny because it feels like the other way around. When I was doing data engineering for a living, I was already into the synthesizer world. There are similar concepts, like having a sound source or data source, transforming it, and then outputting it in a different way. It was a concept I was already familiar with through electronic music. It actually helped my real life.

That's awesome. You do music full time now though, right?

Yeah, I do music full time. It's been almost a year now since I stopped my day job. We're trying to make it work. It's fucking hard as hell.

What kind of struggles have you experienced, especially with that transition?

Financial struggles, like most other artists. But we're making it work. You know, I have a lot of faith, maybe a foolish amount of faith (laughs), that things work out if you just follow the greater path, just quoting "Trust the Guide and Glide," a record by MatthewDavid. But I feel like it's a true thing. When I had my job, I was financially secure but not happy. Now it's flipped. I'm not financially secure, but I feel very happy and present. It's a priceless feeling. I'd rather have that than anything.

Yeah, I definitely feel there's truth to the idea that as long as you're true to yourself, you spread that energy and attract the right things. And maybe the money will come eventually.

Yeah, I believe in that. Mm-hmm.

I see that you grew up in the DMV area?

Yeah, I was born in Nigeria and then moved to Maryland when I was seven. I lived in Maryland until about a year and a half ago.

Do you feel like moving here influenced the way you see things or make music?

In a way, it's hard to say. I don't really feel like I'm fully American or fully Nigerian. I guess I'm just an Earth person (laughs). It's a benefit because I don't have to align with any particular thing. I can just be myself. 

Growing up in Maryland was cool. There's a lot of diversity, especially in Montgomery County where I grew up. I'm grateful because I got to meet people from different cultures and befriend them. It influenced my taste in music and my openness to different things. Living in Baltimore for five years was a big part of my coming of age. I learned a lot about caring for others, empathy, and music experimentation. Baltimore has a huge experimentation scene. It was a big influence on my creativity.

How was your experience transitioning to LA? What kind of impression did you have of the city?

I feel very lucky because before I moved here, about a month or two before, I came and played one of the park shows for Leaving Records. That's when I got to meet everyone and actually met Sam. Sam was really nice and let me crash at her place (laughs). So I got so lucky because I met so many people at that show who I'm still close friends with today. Moving here made so much sense.

That's awesome.

Yeah, I feel so grateful. Everything feels so right. I have no doubt and no fear.

Being here has taught me a lot about community and the importance of having a shared mindset, shared vision, and uplifting each other to reach our fullest potentials. That's the vibe.

So sweet. For your residency, do you have any particular intention with regards to experimentation or challenging your current practice?

Definitely, I'll be challenged. The first show, which is gonna be on the ship, that's gonna be fucking amazing. I can't even believe that's happening now (laughs). It's been on my bucket list to go whale watching, and it was just a surreal thing when Noah was like, "Yeah, we're thinking about this whale watching thing." It was another moment where I was like, "Oh fuck yeah, this all feels so right."  I'm so excited for that. I have no idea what I'm gonna play. I'm excited to see Green-House play, MatthewDavid is gonna play too. I'm probably gonna mess around with some of the aquatic microphones, but honestly I don't even really care too much about the music (laughs), I'm just excited for the whales. 

And the next show, which is at the Hollyhock, I'm excited for that because I keep hearing how beautiful that space is. I've never been there. It's gonna be a good challenge because it's gonna be like a whole band with me, hopefully Mickey, Qur'an and Spencer. The three of us are gonna play my latest EP front to back, with some other songs here and there.

Saana Sahel is a gorgeous EP. It feels very elegant.

Thank you, I appreciate it. I made that while I was in LA and I was going through a breakup. It was kind of chaotic, but also there were moments of crazy energy and moments of super peacefulness, which is how my emotions were when I was going through all that shit. Living in LA for the first time, going through lots of changes, quitting my job, breaking up, moving to a new place. It's been a huge life change, but also just a blessing.

Totally. Through change, you kind of disintegrate and rebuild yourself, and then you're this new version of yourself, and it feels really exciting and sad. What about your last show in the Japanese Garden?

I'm actually gonna play a solo version of what I play with the whole band, but I'm gonna be on the side, and my friend Stephanie is gonna be doing a dance performance. So it'll be more of an elegant, low-key thing where she dances to it. She's one of my favorite dancers, and I'm just excited to see what she creates.

There's also a legendary poet named Kamau Daaood, and I'm trying to see if I can get him to read some poetry for that last show. So I would do this solo set with my friend Stephanie dancing, and then it would end with a poetry reading from Kamau Daaood. I feel like it would be a special thing, just to pay homage to the Pan African People's Arkestra, which has been super influential to my recent music. From their actual music to my friends like Mickey and Qur'an and Leaving Records. He can have all the money honestly.

It's literally just a labor of love, and I'm excited for the experience of it.

Do you have any particular relationship with the outdoors or sound in the outdoors?

I love being outdoors. The ocean, especially. It's a grounding space for me. I was at the beach two days ago, felt like I was recalibrating my energy. Now I sound like an LA girl.

(Laughs) You're centering yourself in Mother Nature.

But honestly, being by the ocean feels like that. Actually, my EP "Saana Sahel" on vinyl, the tracks are split into two sides. The first three tracks remind me of the desert, and the last three tracks remind me of the ocean. Those are two important spaces for me. When I moved to LA, I had psychedelic experiences in the desert, and I've always loved the ocean. It's one of the main reasons I moved here. The ocean reminds me of my ex because we both loved it. It holds a lot of personal meaning.

They're both endless expanses but extreme opposites of each other.

Beautifully said. I might steal that.

Go for it (laughs). What does "Saana Sahel" mean?

It's something I made up, actually. Making music is like a meditative space for me. "Saana Sahel" represents this place I strive to reach inward, a place of greater peace, higher self, and responsibility as a human. It's a made-up place, like a Mount Everest, where I'm working towards.

Like enlightenment.

Exactly. 

Do you have a favorite plant?

Damn, I love that question. That's tough. Well, I like hydrangeas. I remember when I worked at Home Depot in the plant section, I learned about hydrangeas. They're pretty.

I also like thyme. It's an herb, but it's strong. I planted it, and it made it through the winter. Like, bitch you won't die. It's just always there, I never have to worry. When a recipe needs thyme, I can just go outside. Not like fucking parsley, which might be dead. (Laughs)

It's reliable. It shows up. Is there anything else you want to add or talk about? Anything on your mind?

Yeah, I feel really grateful for this. The Floating community, the staff at Floating, shout out to Noah, Nina, Sam, and everyone else. You guys make this a no-brainer.

Aww, thanks. That's what we try to do.

Hopefully you guys get a bigger budget one day. It's tough right now for what we're trying to do, but if we all believe in it and don't give up, that's what matters.

For sure. Something will manifest, even if it's not what we can imagine right now.

Save the dates for Colloboh’s summer residency! For more info visit our website at https://www.feelslikefloating.com/colloboh-summer-residency

[asmilinghopelessromantic]

Beautifully put and fair to both.

I really love your last paragraph:

Friendships aren’t just about being there for your friend, about listening and giving them what you think they need but also about allowing your friend to be there for you. To allow them to truly know you: your fears, your sadness, your hopes and dreams. That’s the only way for a friendship to thrive.

This might just be a me thing (and you might have mentioned it but I have the memory of a goldfish and the cold brew is hitting me so beware of grammar, spelling, or words missing or too many words and the general rambling/disorganizeness of this reblog) but I understand why Penelope kept LW from Eloise (doesn't justify the gaslighting and keeping it away from Eloise). Penelope wanted something just for herself. Something that she didn't have to share with anyone because we know how little agency women had back then. (And as having siblings myself where I had to share so much with them that when I got something for myself, I wanted to keep it to myself for a while before it became not just mine) (p.s. I know Penelope and Eloise are not biological sisters).

CW: talk of ab*se, self-hatred

I'm also glad you mentioned Penelope's low self-esteem (really self-hatred, imho) and family dynamics. Because I was getting ready to not excuse her choices but to bring a point of compassion/understanding. This is part of the reason I identify with her so much. Growing up in a toxic family dynamic and that fed into my low self-esteem issues, I get why Pen wanted an outlet that was all her own. A place where she could be the brave and witty person she is because her family constantly showed and told her how little she mattered to the world. From experience even having a welcoming and loving family like the Bridgertons doesn't fix anything (completely) because you (in general you, not specifically you) feel like you don't deserve their affection and are always waiting for the other shoe to drop for them to realize you actually are everything your family shown and told you are. Imposter syndrome. It's hard to believe their genuineness and love because all you know is the opposite. It's also hard to accept it.

I'm reminded of a bit from one of Taylor Tomlinson's comedy specials about treating people like you are expecting them to betray you and when they do, you feel vindicated and validated in your suspicions. Penelope is a self-fulfilling prophecy. She treated Eloise (at least in regards to LW) like her sisters treated her, so Penelope feels vindicated when Eloise rightfully calls her out.

You mentioned, and rightly so, that Penelope never fully trusted Eloise definitely not with LW or her being in love with her brother. (There aren't many people Penelope trusts but out of the whole world, she definitely trusts Eloise and Colin the most.) She doesn't even trust herself. Again, it can be traced back to her ab*sive childhood.

Remember at the end of 1x8 when Penelope is running away, fighting tears after hearing Colin's plans to travel and how it was her who inspired him. Eloise catches her and asks if she's okay but she brushes off Eloise's genuine concern.

Penelope is so used to pushing feelings down and repressing her emotions but this was different. She was at a ball, her crush's sister's ball and all of her emotions and feelings came crashing and needed to get tf out of there so she could be alone to let it out and process it. In a rare moment of vulnerability, she comes over to her friend's house and allows herself to cry/breakdown in front of Eloise and lets her hold her. She's crying because Colin is leaving. She's crying because her dad died, not only that but also how she was told. She's crying because she was almost caught by people at the Queen's behest. She's crying because she's exhausted and overwhelmed and tired of being strong. (I know Nicola said it was bc of Colin leaving, I believe don't quote me, but I think it's much bigger than that.)

It’s only by her decision to be vulnerable and open that she can actually mend her relationship with Eloise. 

YES, exactly! I will add that Eloise needs to be in a place where she can receive Penelope's vulnerability. Which I believe she is almost there if not all the way.

Penelope's anger and viciousness. It's compounded. One, women of the time couldn't express hardly any "ugly" emotions because it was frowned upon to be anything but polite and submissive. So we have Penelope, for the most part, repressing her anger/frustration about her place as a woman in the world. Two, growing up Penelope took the ab*se and internalized the anger toward her family, which she didn't want and/or couldn't express (again it's in part bc of the abuse and toxic family dynamics).

We also got a glimpse at her resentment and jealousy towards Eloise (and Colin to some extent). Another thing she has been feeling whether consciously or subconsciously. Jealous of the pretty privilege. Jealous of how much their family loves and likes one another. Jealous of their financial security. Since then, she hasn't confided in Eloise about her jealousy and let Eloise in a little bit.

So in Whistledown, she gets an outlet (aka coping mechanism) to release her anger and frustration at her family and society and herself. She wants to be the person who stands up for herself and is confident and she is frustrated that she perceives she can't be that person. When she says the disparaging or slights against herself, she's actually being vulnerable and sharing her insecurities.

I'm not sure if anyone has talked about it but (in addition to her not wanting Eloise to find out her identity) I think Penelope was feeling insecure about Eloise's friendship with Theo; Penelope might have thought Eloise would abandon or leave her behind for someone better. Another common feeling/anxiety associated with people who have had similar childhood experiences as Penelope.

What I'm trying to get at is that when one grows up in a toxic and abusive home with those dynamics on display and hasn't processed them (LOL but not really @ mental health treatments of the time), they often unconsciously or consciously carry those coping and defense mechanisms with them. It affects one's relationships with others and their self. Penelope is the poster child example.

Let me state this again:

I am not absolving Penelope of consequences or condoning her actions. I am merely giving context as to why (I think) Penelope is the way she is and why she does what she does. Because formerly ab*sed kids turned adults who haven't worked through their trauma are bound to keep using the same defense and unhealthy coping mechanisms intentionally/consciously or unintentionally/subconsciously hurting themself and those around them.

And yes, not everything can be traced to her ab*sive childhood (within the house and growing up in society). But almost all? Uh-huh, sure can.

I wanted to end on a happier or more hopeful note. They will find their way back to one another. Because they are best friends, soul sisters. And their relationship will be stronger for it.

A defense of Eloise Bridgerton and her friendship with Penelope Featherington

I should probably start this post by pointing out the fact that I’m not the biggest Eloise fan out there. In fact Eloise has consistently annoyed me for two seasons straight with her I’m “not like other girls” shtick and the writers using her as a prop for modern feminist talking points. 

Mostly what I disliked about Eloise was the bluntness and lack of charm used to put across the themes of women’s role in recency society and the lack of options for girls not interested in playing the marriage mart mind games. 

Jane Austen, for example, makes many of the same points regarding women in her novels but instead of beating us over the head with it, she uses wit, eloquence and wisdom to get her points across. 

But, above all, I disliked just how self involved Eloise was, what a major chip on her shoulder she had. She’s a privileged girl from an immensely powerful and rich family that spends her days whining and being dismissive of everyone around her. 

She spends most of season 1 picking fights with Daphne for no reason and the second season making fun of Colin and running around town like a chicken without a head not so much because she wants to find out who Lady Whistledown is but because she’s bored and wants something to do (something other than talking to men potentially interested in marrying her because she’s gay she’s not like other girls). 

Even as I’m writing this, I’m questioning whether I’m even the right person to defend Eloise because, as you can clearly tell, I don’t much care for her. But I do think Polin and Penelope fans are really misjudging Eloise and wanting to make her the villain of season 3 due to her resentment towards Penelope and her anger at the Polin engagement.

So I guess I have to be the hero without a cape in this instance. 

Here it goes …

It’s very easy to look at the friendship between Eloise and Penelope in season 1 and 2 and conclude that Eloise has always been a bad friend to Penelope. After all, almost every scene they have together is about Eloise, her interests and passions, her frustrations at the ton and the marriage mart, her inability to fit in with societal expectations, her quest to find out the identity of Lady Whistledown etc, etc. There’s almost never room for Penelope to even get a word in because Eloise talks and talks and keeps on talking. 

But I’d like to put forth another interpretation and say that perhaps this dynamic in the relationship isn’t all on Eloise. That it’s Penelope herself that prefers it that way. That she’d much rather talk about Eloise and her issues than to reveal anything truly meaningful or vulnerable about herself. 

A scene that supports this theory is the scene they have in season 2, episode 1: 

This is about as open and vulnerable Penelope ever is with Eloise and in this scene we can observe several things: 

Despite her being more open than usual, Penelope is still lying to Eloise. She talks about how she enjoys being a wallflower because she can have all the fun without the pressure that comes with being in the spotlight. In reality we know Penelope would love to be in the spotlight but is frightened of being rejected. She’s not having fun hugging the wall at all and yet she’s unable to share that with her friend. 

As soon as Penelope opens up, albeit only partially, Eloise is quick to notice that, despite pretending not to enjoy the balls and the marriage mart, Penelope actually likes all of these things. This shows not only that she knows Penelope pretty well (as well as Penelope herself will allow Eloise to know her) but that, despite disagreeing on the topic, she’s supportive of Penelope and listens to her. 

It’s also worth comparing the way Eloise behaves with Penelope vs. the way she behaves with Cressida in season 3. 

Cressida and Eloise’s relationship is much more balanced and equal because Cressida stands up for herself, pushes back at Eloise when she needs to (like explaining why she needs to marry Lord Debling despite not being compatible) or when Eloise accuses her of telling everyone about Colin helping Penelope find a husband. 

And Eloise learns to adjust. She becomes a more supportive friend, sharing her knowledge of birds so that Cressida can impress Lord Debling, making conversation with him when Cressida doesn’t know what to say and coming to her house to visit her and offer support. 

My point is: Eloise is not perfect. She’s self involved and dismissive of things she isn’t personally interested in but is willing to put in the work for a friend if said friend is honest with her about what they need from their friendship. 

Which leads us back to Penelope. Eloise is the most meaningful relationship in her life (Colin is as well but that’s a much more fraught relationship for Penelope because she wants to be lovers not friends) and yet she refuses to share the two most important aspects of her life with her friend: her love for Colin and her being Lady Whistledown. 

Let’s leave Colin to the side for now because Eloise being his sister complicates matters as far as Penelope telling her she’s in love with him. 

But why doesn’t she tell Eloise about Lady Whistledown? Particularly in season 1, when she’s just starting to write the scandal sheet. She has no idea where Lady Whistledown will even lead, if she’ll keep going etc. She’s basically doing it because she’s a writer and she wants to have fun talking about the society she knows so well. 

So why not share the fun with her friend? It’s pretty clear Eloise doesn’t even know Penelope is a writer and hasn’t seen anything she ever wrote before Lady Whistledown because, otherwise, she’d know it was Penelope doing it. 

Also let’s not forget that, in season 1, Eloise was Lady Whitledown’s number 1 fan. She can’t stop talking about how amazing and brilliant she is. 

And yet Penelope says nothing. She’d rather grin proudly behind Eloise’s back than go: “Actually this woman you like so much … I am she. She is me.”

She again fails to do it in season 2, despite knowing that Eloise helped her in escaping the queen’s men at the end of season 1. 

And then the worst part of their friendship begins as the pressure from the queen mounts and Eloise is more and more determined to find out the identity of Lady Whistledown. Penelope chooses to gaslight and manipulate Eloise for weeks.

It’s not just Eloise’s relationship with Theo and her attending political meetings that put her in harm’s way and eventually forces Lady Whistledown to write about her in order for the Queen to stop suspecting Eloise. It’s Penelope’s refusal to be honest with her friend. 

Penelope is so determined to keep Eloise in the dark that even at the end of season 2, when she walks into her bedroom and sees Eloise, she still tries to gaslight her one last time. 

Penelope: You’ve been reading too much Whistledown. Her voice is echoing in your head. 

Penelope is stuck in a pattern of toxic behavior because that’s what she’s learned to do from her family. She cannot be honest about Lady Whistledown or anything truly meaningful, despite how hard it is for her to remain isolated and in the shadows: 

Penelope: You have no idea how horrible it has felt to keep this from you! From everyone! For so long. 

It’s no wonder that, in their fight scene, Eloise tells her: 

Eloise: I do not even know you. 

That’s because Penelope herself has made it so that the people closest to her, Eloise and Colin, don’t actually know the real her. She’s given each of them what she thought they wanted and needed (she’s very similar to Colin in that way) but not enough of the real her.

So when the Lady Whistledown revelation happens, there’s nothing for Eloise to fall back on in order to try and understand Penelope. 

All of a sudden her best friend feels like a stranger. A stranger that has exposed her intimate affairs to the whole world and who tells her this: 

Penelope: At least I did something. All you ever do is talk about doing something. You have all of these great ambitions, these great plans but I am the one who actually did something great and you can’t stand it, can you? 

Now, because we, as the audience, are privy to Penelope’s inner world and we know just how riddled with low self-esteem she is and how she’s used to those closest to her being dismissive of her or her achievements, it’s easy for us to see that Penelope tells Eloise this in anger. Particularly after Eloise tells her:

Eloise: I look at you now and all I feel is pity for you. Sequestered here, in this very room, writing your secret little scandal sheet, tarnishing everyone in town all because you are too afraid to stand up for yourself in reality. You are something else, Penelope. An insipid wallflower, indeed. 

Eloise’s words hit too close to home. Too close to the reality of Penelope’s isolation and fear of being alone and abandoned so she hurts Eloise back the only way she can. By pointing to the fact that despite talking and talking endlessly about all the great things women, and she in particular, could be doing, Eloise isn’t actually doing anything. 

Basically, these two manage to hurt each other worse than anyone else could because they’re best friends, because they know each other and what makes the other one tick. 

But from Eloise’s perspective? In this moment, where she’s been betrayed by her best friend? Well, Penelope doesn’t feel like a friend at all. She feels like someone who got close to her only to exploit her so she could write a scandal sheet and make money off of her misery: 

Eloise: This was personal. 

Penelope: Eloise, I’m so sorry. I was only trying to protect you. 

Eloise: Is that what you were doing? By writing about me in your latest sheet? By telling the entire world about things I trusted you with? [...] The only person you were interested in saving was yourself. All so you could keep making money at the cost to everyone else. At a cost to Miss Thompson. To my brother. To my entire family. To your entire family. [...] All because of your self serving manipulations. 

Which brings us to Eloise’s reaction to the closeness between Colin and Penelope and the announcement of their engagement. 

To Eloise’s credit, since their fight, she’s tried her hardest to be an adult and not punish Penelope more than she needs to. She’s very hurt by what her friend did and she can’t trust her but she also doesn’t want to hurt Pen.

She’s kept the Lady Whistledown secret and refuses to tell Colin why their friendship fell apart because she doesn’t want Penelope to lose the one friend she still has. 

She also misses Penelope which is why she ends up telling Cressida about Colin helping her find a husband. She’s trying to figure out what’s going on with her friend and the only way Eloise knows how to figure stuff out is by talking … and talking … and talking … in full earshot of everyone at the ball. 

But despite all of this, as far as she knows, Penelope is still the girl that divulged her secrets, ruined Marina Thompson’s reputation and hurt Colin, not only by revealing Marina’s pregnancy but by taking cheap shots at him only weeks before her brother waltzes into the Bridgerton drawing room to announce he’s engaged to Penelope Featherington. 

What kind of sister would Eloise be if she wasn’t angry at Penelope for that? If she didn’t want Colin to find out the truth as soon as possible? 

Personally, I think she’s showing real restraint. She cares so much about Penelope that she’s not dragging her brother into the study the moment she hears the engagement news to tell him that he’s about to marry the dreaded Lady Whistledown. 

Which brings us back to my earlier point: Penelope never trusted Eloise enough to tell her she was in love with Colin. Maybe if Eloise knew that Penelope has had a crush on Colin since she was 10 years old, she might be able to understand this engagement better. 

But from her viewpoint, all she’s likely to see is that Colin is an impulsive romantic who once again has gotten engaged to a girl who is lying to him and using him to avoid social ostracization. 

I know that by the end of the season Eloise and Penelope will have mended their relationship and they will go back to being the besties we know they are.

But what I would love to see in part 2 of the season is Penelope actually being brave and honest with the two people that she loves most in the world. Not just about her being Lady Whistledown but about the reasons why she became Lady Whistledown. It’s only by her decision to be vulnerable and open that she can actually mend her relationship with Eloise. 

Friendships aren’t just about being there for your friend, about listening and giving them what you think they need but also about allowing your friend to be there for you. To allow them to truly know you: your fears, your sadness, your hopes and dreams. That’s the only way for a friendship to thrive.

[cindylouwho-2]

Etsy Shops Can Now List Saturday and Sunday as Processing Times

UPDATE (July 16): As usual, Etsy cannot be trusted, and they opted some shops in without telling the seller. Go to your shipping settings page to check that your settings are still ok.

On July 5, many Etsy sellers discovered a message like the one above on their dashboards, creating some hilarity and a lot of confusion.

No, I don't ship on weekends, and definitely do not deal with 96% of my orders over Saturday and Sunday, and

Does anyone at Etsy really think I would expend even a tiny bit of energy on my Etsy shop for the chance at $22 more each year? LOL

So, what does this mean?

First, they did make a real change to processing times, allowing shops to skip the sometimes confusing "business days" option and simply use a count of days that include weekends. But do not worry - you must opt in to make use of the new weekend times. On my shipping settings page in the Shop Manager, I see this:

Note that you can choose to add either Saturday or Sunday, or both, as processing days, and that you have to click "Update" for this to take effect.

Second - because Etsy will never make anything logical and easy to understand - while this may mean some of your orders will now be due to ship on Saturdays, "[i]f a ship-by date falls on a Sunday, we'll bump it to the next business day." So, in reality, they have only added Saturday as an optional processing day, but not Sunday. Etsy Support confirmed this to sellers, as well as mentioning it on the Shipping Settings page.

Note, however, that the Help page only states that "If a ship-by date falls on a Sunday, it will usually be bumped to the next business day." [my emphasis]. That means that even those of us who don't opt into extended processing days should watch the due dates of our orders, and extend the processing time per order where necessary.

Remember, shipping late makes shops ineligible for Seller Protection and Star Seller, and puts the shop at risk of a payment reserve. Don't mess with this setting unless you plan on carefully watching your order "ship by" dates, and do plan doing some work on weekends.

Why Would Etsy Do This?

Etsy claims that there is a higher conversion rate for items that ship more quickly, so adding weekend processing times may increase the orders in your inbox. A whole $22 worth for me, apparently. 😉 Across the site, that could be a nice bonus for Etsy's bottom line, however, even if only a few percent of sellers opt in.

Why they say they are adding both weekend days to processing times but are still not expecting anyone to ship on Sunday is beyond me - that makes no sense. Yes, it means that 6 out of 7 times, an order will show as processing and shipping 1-2 days earlier than it did before this option existed, which could increase sales. It still means that there will be confusion over the items that should have shipped on Sunday but will show a longer processing time on that order in reality.

For those who worry about Etsy expecting you to work 7 days a week, remember, this is not mandatory. In addition, many sellers do already work on Saturday and/or Sunday, but up until now, could not reflect that in their processing times. Not everyone has the luxury of getting 2 days off each week, and many folks may choose a different 2 days off, especially those in countries where Saturday or Sunday could be a business day. Some shop owners with full time jobs do most of their Etsy creating and packaging on the weekend. Some countries do have shipping couriers open on these days (Canada Post has a few outlets open 7 days a week, and USPS has some locations open Saturdays, for example).

In short, this change is an option that better reflects the diversity of seller experiences than a Monday to Friday work week ever did. If you don't like it, don't use it.

The best case scenario would be if this announcement was an early step towards letting each shop choose its own work days, holidays, and down time. As long as they have programmed it correctly, that is.