#and I am currently writing my essays for class lol

[eureka-its-zico]

Okay, so I logged on to Tumblr on PC so I could get ALL of this out because Part 3 of “Chaos in Their Bones” has fed me, hydrated me, cleared my skin up, rested me, made me weep and cackle loudly, so let’s get into all the bits (I have quoted bits from chapter 3) that have stuck out with me. Hope you don't mind that I quoted them here :)

So far Operation Petty was getting off to a rough start. 

First line and I was already grinning. Doc meet Zoro. Zoro meet Doc. One is pettier than the other lol

Fuck.  You struggled to keep a shudder from making its way down your spine but you weren’t so lucky in keeping the soft gasp from trickling out from your lips. The husk of his voice was unnecessarily sexy.  Slowly, you turned to look to your right and found Zoro casually sitting back in his seat. His eyes trained forward and his hands took his silverware as if he hadn’t just whispered across your skin like sin.  You couldn’t think past what had just happened. It didn’t matter how much you tried to formulate a sentence. Your brain was just not having it. You could do this. You were an intelligent woman who was not easily swayed.  “What?”  A masterful reply.

Okay, I died and ascended here because same, Doc, same. Would have the same reaction.

“I think that’s the first time anyone’s apologized to me before.”  “That sucks.” God, you really did have a way with words. Nami was equally as shocked at your bluntness, but in a way that sent a warm smile to lift the edges of your lips. Nami sputtered out a laugh as she placed her hands on her hips

I am in love with Doc. The attitude. It's just *chef's kiss*

“Well, at least now you’ll know you have one in Syrup village.”  A spark of something ignited in her eyes and whatever it was your words made her think of, it wasn’t something happy. When a small smile curled her lips it didn’t reach her eyes. They stayed distant; mourning something you may never be made aware of.

This part in particular, knowing what happens later just hit me like a train. It hurts when you know Nami's actual back story and this part right here - it shows that there's so much and the fact that Doc is perceptive enough to see it just made me fall for Doc even more.

“If you guys are going to talk about feelings I’m seriously going to need a drink.” “Shocker.” The few steps Zoro took came to an abrupt end just a few feet from you.

Pot meet kettle. Kettle meet pot. I don't know what it is about this dynamic with a mouthy person giving Zoro a run for his money, but I love it. The sass made me feel rejuvenated lol

Who knows, maybe it was just your imagination overreacting. Right when you went to glance over the side, a hand smacked its way over the top and you felt your soul evacuate your body. A few seconds later, green hair popped over the top that sat on top of a familiar face, but your brain was stuck in fear mode, so when Zoro asked, “Doc?” The only response he’d gotten was your fist connecting with his face.  “What the fuck!”

I gotta admit, the cackle I let out was loud and sounded absolutely deranged and feral lol Even now as I am writing this I am cackling like an absolute madman to the point I think I might not be getting enough oxygen into my brain... Such a correct reaction to someone popping out of the well tho haha

His lips were parted, eyes scanning your face, and for one devious miscalculation of judgment, you wanted to fist your fingers in his shirt and pull him towards you to see if his lips were as soft as you imagined.  Nope. Nooooope!

Same, Doc, same. Just... Same lmao Let's not spiral yet.

“Luffy, that is a splendid offer. One I don’t think anyone could pass up but I can’t leave.” “Why the hell not?” Naan fired off.  “Naan-“ “And if you say it’s because of me, just remember you aren’t too old for me to throttle you with my cane.”

Naan is my spirit animal. That's it.

“Please, take care Naan. You’ve done so much for me, my whole life. If it wasn’t for you I don’t know where I would be.”  “Dead,” she stated matter-of-factly.  It was so blunt. So incredibly Naan that you couldn’t stop the sharp bark of laughter that came from you.

I aspire to be as blunt as Naan when I grow old. I also have to once again admit that I let out a very loud cackle at this part because it was just beautiful and so so well delivered.

There's a lot of other pieces that I would add, but I think I'd end up pasting your whole fic into this ask so I'll just leave it with these ones that had me grinning so wide my mouth hurts. Tbf, I grinned hard throughout the whole chapter and my face hurts right now. No regrets tho!

Personally, I found this to be a beautifully written update and I have to once again PROCLAIM that I will be excitedly waiting for the next part!

chewing on your nails until you were positive you must have gnawed them into dust.

Thank you so much for sharing this! And I hope your week is going well! Also, I hope you are catching up with your essays :D

Sending love your way and have a lovely week!

-Gouda 🧀

P.S. I love beefy chapters so if there will be any more in this, or any story you come out with - I will feast on it. Thanks xoxo

Gouda 🧀 Nonnie,

WHERE DO I EVEN BEGIN?! I have read your ask an unhealthy amount of times. It’s made me smile like a crazy person and I realized why: when you described what you felt while reading this chapter is what made me the happiest. The fact it made you cackle through most of it and felt what you felt gave me the biggest sense of accomplishment.

Doc absolutely needs to have sass. I don’t know why, but when I thought of their relationship, I imagine it’s based off that annoying feeling of when you like someone and you do not want to like them, but your feelings are deceptive little bastards so you’re just grumpy about it lol. That’s how I imagine Doc and Zoro. Equally a pain in the others ass and equally low key loving it.

This chapter was also important because it begins to set up the relationships with Nami and Luffy. It’s important to me that this not just be based on a relationship solely centered around Zoro. I just haven’t successfully thought out what I want to happen when they get to the Baratie with Sanji, but I’m rambling!

I am so full of gratitude for you and your ever amazing review of ch. 3. For your support and kindness and even kinder words. I hope you, my dear, are having a wonderful week and get plenty of rest! Much love 🖤

[crowleys-bentley-and-plants]

Am i gonna use the heisenberg uncertainty principle in my anthropology essay in which i need to refer back to my own discipline which happens to be the exact opposite of quantum physics? You bet i am

[jaylienpotter]

15 questions, 15 people

Thx for the tag @marauders-everything2

Starting a new post, it was too long. Slightly modified some questions.

1. Are you named after anyone?

Nope.

2. When was the last time you cried?

Don't remember, probably yesterday.

3. Do you want to have kids?

No thanks :)

4. What sports do/have you played?

My parents tried putting me in a bunch of shit when I was younger so I've done: swimming (for some years, still not great at it lol), surfing (quit after like 2 months), kizomba dance (hated it), another type of dance, contemporary dance (I liked it but the place closed), and we went skiing several times (which I love). If horseriding counts, I did that for a year. Currently not doing any.

5. Do you use sarcasm?

Yeah, sometimes. But I'm also quite direct and straightforward. Only "straight" I am.

6. What's the first thing you notice about someone?

Their fashion style. I love going up to strangers to compliment their outfits!

7. What's your eye colour?

Dark brown.

8. Movies with sad or happy endings?

I love movies with uncertain, ambiguous endings, in which the meaning is up for debate (like Inception).

9. What talents do you have?

Fast at absorbing information (sometimes), hypercreativity, great at bullshitting in academic tests/essays, good at making accents and voices, ummm... Can't remember more.

10. Where would you like to live?

New Zealand. It's pretty and one of the least problematic English-speaking countries (wanna live somewhere where English is the official language).

11. What are your hobbies?

Writing fanfiction and original stories (more like my passion), playing The Sims 4, drawing digitally (haven't in a while though), singing?

12. Do you have any pets?

My parents have 3 dogs (no breed) and koi fish. I want a cat :')

13. How tall are you?

165 cm or 5'5" for the Americans.

14. Favourite subject in school?

At college. Don't really like any of my current classes. Ig English C1.2 because we studied the Broadway play Hamilton. Although I haven't learned anything new.

15. What is your dream job?

Writer/author, would also like to do voice acting. Maybe a psychologist too, haven't decided if I'll take a second college degree.

No pressure tags: @siriuslystarbucks @starsandmoonys @whoopsiesnodaisies @star4daisy @starchaser-lily @half-cold-coffee @cazzythefrogking @starsarestories @my-beloved-fandoms @my-castles-crumbling @reggiecantswimm @artbyace @literallytoogaytofunction @rosemelodyshah @theres-an-endless-starry-sky

[violetsarepurple-fuckyou]

Tag Game: People I'd like to Know Better

Thank you for tagging me @rapha-reads! I'm flattered! Hope your day is going well!

Last song: The Horse and The Infant, Epic the Musical (because I am a) obsessed with musical and b) was reading @nellie-elizabeth's excellent analysis of it and needed to compare with my ears and screech)

Last book: I tend to read multiple books at the same time so I'll give ya a handful lol! Beowulf: A New Translation, by Maria Dahvana Headley (very interesting, uses extremely modern language to tap into the energy of "bar story" that is under explored in a lot of Beowulf translations to my knowledge. I finished it last night), The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller (first time reading, but obviously I know how it ends. I'm doing so ok right now.), Howl's Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones (finished last week, I wrote an essay on Miyazaki for my film class last semester and wanted to check out the source material after years of watching the movie. It was very charming fun! And also I was listening to it in audiobook form, which meant that I got to listen to the welsh accent, which please me greatly.) and Ancient Greek Civilization by Jeremy McInerney (not sure if this counts as a book because it is in fact just a professor lecture via the Great Courses, but it is an audiobook on Libby so I am counting it lol).

Last TV show: Cunk on Earth last night with my family, Dimension 20 (Time Quangle) today while taking a lunch break, and last tv show BINGED would be The Magicians last week.

Sweet/savory/spicy: Sweet all the way!!! Every time!

Relationship status: Single, open to casual smooching of my friends and/or a ten year slow burn but low-key possibly aro-ace spec and not too worried about it atm

Last thing I googled: I'm not 100% sure because I have about 30 windows and 5 million tabs open right now and have been bopping between them all day screwing up my history thoroughly, but I think either petteia (search term something like "ancient greek equivalent for chess") or like... my school website.

Looking forward to: The Magicians Fanworks Extravaganza Welcome Home Week 1! I've been trying to get some writing done today and yesterday for it :D Also walking in the woods tomorrow, fingers crossed it isn't too snowy for that.

Current obsession: The Magicians, Epic the Musical/The Iliad and Odyssey, Dimension 20, and a dnd character I made that I got way too obsessed with and now cannot bear to risk the character development of through collaborative improv. I must write a book about her now, such is life.

No pressure tagging if anyone else would like to do this :) @eliotqueliot @nellie-elizabeth @portraitofemmy @ameliajessica @spiders-hth-is-an-outlier @hmgfanfic @bellamyblakru @unlifeira

[best--dress]

90s aol chain email survey a.k.a. get to know me tag game

Thanks for tagging me @mooncello and @monbons 🥰 (do you guys remember those email surveys?)

Favorite color: pink! I've also been a fan of lavender these days.

Last song: apparently it was this from my spotify daylist, "liminal dreamcore thursday night"

Currently reading: "The Language of the Night: Essays on Writing, Science Fiction, and Fantasy" by Ursula K. Le Guin. I want to underline every other sentence.

Currently watching: the last thing I watched was Labyrinth, for the first time ever, and I absolutely loved it and now I get @you-remind-me-of-the-babe's url. um also I watched it on pluto TV which I'm kind of obsessed with? They have so many good movies (and sailor moon!!) and hardly any ads and it's free. I'm like a watch-one-movie-every-other-month kind of girl, so it's my ideal streaming service.

Currently craving: more candy corn, but i'll restrain myself

Coffee or tea: neither. if I ask you to meet for coffee, what I mean is, I'm getting a pastry

Hobby to try: I've been doing more drawing lately (because I teach a drawing class LOL) and I want to learn more about using a crowquill pen and spend more time practicing! In my ample free time 🙃

Current AU: I like how all these questions were personal and then this is the only one that's fandom-related - kind of makes me question if I'm supposed to come up with an AU for my own life.

I am back to being deep in my fem!snowbaz AU, after not writing anything for a couple of weeks, and it's sooo joyful to be back in the flow and communing with the story and hearing what the characters have to say. Truly I never know what's going to happen until my pen touches the page.

Other AUs I can't stop thinking about, because why limit myself to my own: @blackberrysummerblog's Practical Magic AU, and @aristocratic-otter's Tiktok Dancer AU. And very much eyeing all the concepts for @carry-on-au-fest...

Tagging: @thewholelemon @iamamythologicalcreature @rimeswithpurple @arthurkko @roomwithanopenfire and, consider yourself tagged if i tagged you anywhere above! ❤️

[oldiesstationlover11607]

🎶And I say hello🎶

Hello! Tis I! 💛. Your favorite anon. Oddly enough, right before I was going to send in this request, you posted about missing me. First of all, that made my night (like, honestly, I was having a bad night and it made me smile so big). Second of all, your most recent Blurryface fic was amazing (you’re making me into a Blurryface Tyler fan slowly but surely). Also, and I know you have absolutely no reason to care, but I’m going to the Clancy tour this week! I may drown you in your related requests…just a heads up.

Anyways, my request. I am currently in a master’s program (forensic psychology master’s students for the win!) and so I was wondering if you could possibly write a one shot where Josh tries to help the reader study for a test (doesn’t have to be forensic psychology related. Could be any class. Though I’d like it to be a college class), but ends up being more so a distraction/hinderance than a help.

As always, you can change this request up and bit if you like or you don’t have to do it. It’s up to you! Like I said, I’m but a humble freeloader and you are the artist. 😊

Study - Josh Dun x reader

Relationship: Josh Dun × Reader

Warnings: none

Word Count: 1632

A/N: Rahh I love this idea! I’ve been looking forward to going to college and am in study mode so it’s perfect! When you submitted the request I was having a bad day too so I'm glad we're able to cheer each other up :) Forensic psychology sounds cool, I have a friend who is interested in doing it but I have no idea what it’s about other than crime and psychology. I'm wanting to do a major in cinematic arts (basically film school) but I'm not sure what I want my minor to be. I'm interested in so much it's hard to choose but I'm looking at music production, classics, or journalism. Because I've been working on my media studies project at school I though I'd make the subject she's studying for related to that (I hope that's okay). ALSO I’m so excited that your Clancy Tour show is this week!! That’s so exciting 😁 I have to wait till November, my show is the first international show and I’m low key scared that they’re going to change the setlist. I’m bringing my non clique friend to the show and if they decide to add or take away songs from the setlist she’s going to think I’m having a mental breakdown (which I 100% will be lol. In a good way). Anyways, sorry for the long intro/rant thing, I don't have many friends at my school and I needed to rant 😭

The last place I expected to be with Josh was my college library, considering the fact that he didn’t go to college and never planned to. In fact, I was pretty sure the last time Josh had stepped foot in a library was all the way back in high school. I’d only found out a couple months after we’d started dating that we had gone to the same school. He had graduated two years before me so we didn’t know each other but as fate would show, we met at Guitar Centre after I’d decided to teach myself drums. Turns out teaching yourself drums is hard and you do in fact probably need a teacher, and that teacher will probably end up being that cute boy that sold you your first pair of sticks. Normally, Josh and I would hang out at home or with our friends but this week I was in full study mode with finals coming up. 

“Are you sure you don’t want to meet me later?” I asked, finding an empty table to sit down at. I placed my bag on the chair next to me while Josh sat down on the opposite side. He was wearing a black hoodie that he’d bought at the mall the other day and a beanie, perfect for the autumnal weather outside. It had been raining a lot recently, the light pitter patter of rain becoming a common occurrence as we fell asleep each night. 

“I’m sure,” he laughed, folding himself over the table and resting his head on his arms. 

“Okay,” I shrugged, pulling out my computer and opening it to my work. I had a couple pages of notes to read, and a practice essay to write. Yay. College. Josh pulled out his phone and started scrolling through social media, the speakers of his phone playing music–loud enough to hear but quiet enough to not bother anyone other than me. With each scroll of his finger the audio changed, progressively capturing my attention and pulling me away from my own screen. Josh clearly noticed I was getting distracted because he put his phone away and pointed to the blank notebook page in front of me. 

“What are you supposed to be learning about anyways?” he asked, tilting his head slightly and peering over my computer screen. I tilted it back so he could get a better look, the display showing two pages from my textbook for media studies. 

“Well, I’m reading this textbook section about the media and how people have different lenses that they view things. It’s kind of interesting,” I explained. Josh smiled, resting his head on his chin and listening attentively. “It’s like how you’ll view a musician character differently to how someone who doesn’t make music would.” Josh nodded as if he knew what I was talking about–he did in fact have no idea. 

“Let me help you, I’m sure it’s not that hard,” he suggested. He got up and moved around to the chair next to me, grabbing my bag and placing it on the ground so he could sit down. While I knew full well that Josh wasn’t going to be any help but I wanted nothing more than to spend time with him–he was always busy with band practice or work, making me cherish every moment we had together. He pulled my computer closer to him, reading the textbook page and taking notes with my pen. As he wrote each word on the page I could feel my body tingle with excited nerves. Josh had always been able to do that to me. If he was close, I had to fight off the butterflies to the point where I would lose focus on what I was supposed to be doing–which was exactly what was happening right now. “You get that?” 

“Huh?” I looked up at him as he let out a soft chuckle. 

“Do you understand the concept? The uh, natural bias of viewers impacts how they see the characters in movies, books, and tv,” he repeated. I listened, taking notes and bullet-pointing what he was saying. He sounded almost like he was in the class himself, which was surprising considering Josh was the least academic person I knew. 

“Mhm, yeah,” I nodded. As the lunch period ended more and more students piled into the library, filling up the tables and making the room louder. 

“It’s getting kinda hot in here,” Josh said, pulling off his hoodie to reveal one of his band’s merch shirts and his perfectly toned arms. Twenty one pilots was starting to get more and more popular with their latest music being played on college and city radio, meaning the likelihood of him being recognised was rising every day. Josh was looking around the room as more people poured in but I couldn’t look away from him. My boyfriend was hot and I couldn’t deny it–I was practically drooling and couldn’t wait for that night, when we’d be able to snuggle up in bed together. 

“What?” he questioned, snapping me out of my daydream. I could feel my face heat up slightly. 

“You’re distracting,” I smirked, causing him to laugh. 

“How am I distracting? I’m literally just sitting here,” he pointed out. I tapped my pen against his shoulder. A large smile crept onto his face along with a flush of warmth. 

“You like?” he teased, causing me to roll my eyes. 

“Yes. A lot,” I joked back. I leaned my chin against my hand and smiled widely at him. “Stop staring,” he laughed. I couldn't help it. What I really needed to be doing was studying but Josh was the most distracting boy on the planet and if we kept going the way we were, I wasn’t going to get any work done. 

“I was supposed to be studying,” I chuckled, rolling my eyes. He knew how important my finals were for my grade and he knew how much work I’d put into my courses, but somehow he couldn’t hold back his cheeky self, even when it mattered. 

“Okay, okay.” He held up his hands in mock surrender, trying to appear apologetic. He leaned back in his chair and looked at me with a sly smile. I got back to my work, taking notes and trying to figure out what I was going to write my essay on. Once again, Josh pulled out his phone, this time texting Tyler about their next gig. As he typed, he occasionally glanced at me. Without warning, he suddenly reached out and tickled my side, trying to get a reaction out of me. I laughed loudly and covered my mouth, trying to muffle the noise. 

“Josh! Stop it!” I took a deep breath between laughs. Suddenly, a group of girls approached our table, their eyes wide with excitement as they clearly recognized Josh. One of them spoke up, a blonde woman wearing a white crop top and a bright pink skirt–clearly a sorority girl, my mortal enemies. 

“Excuse me, you're Josh Dun from Twenty One Pilots, right?” Josh looked up from his phone, clearly taken aback by her boldness. He flashed the celebrity smile he’d been working on in the mirror lately and nodded. I rolled my eyes, trying to hold my focus. Josh shot me a quick smirk when he saw my reaction, clearly amused by the situation. He then turned his attention back to the girls who were bombarding him with questions. I could tell they were starstruck, which was weird considering that it was just Josh. The Josh I’d met at Guitar Centre, drum teacher Josh, wearing a blonde wig and making stupid skits Josh–my boyfriend Josh. A short brunette clutched her phone tightly, moving in closer to him. 

“Oh my god, can I please get a picture with you?” she asked, her voice quivering with excitement. I moved closer to my computer, trying to regain my focus despite there clearly being no hope. Josh chuckled lightly at the girl's request and looked over at me, noticing how irritated I was. He could tell I was trying to focus on studying for my finals and the sudden intrusion by the girls was clearly not helping. As always, he tried to be polite. 

“Sure, but can we make it quick? My girlfriend really needs to focus on her studies,” he responded, emphasizing the word ‘focus’ when he looked at me. I couldn’t hide the smile on my face. The girls nodded and Josh took a couple of photos, moving into different poses so each girl could get enough photos on each of their phones. I wondered if this was going to become more common with time, whether Josh will get recognised more often. According to Jenna, Tyler was getting it a lot but she’d found a way to cope with the fuss. She was always better than me at the celebrity girlfriend thing. 

“Thank you so much!” the blonde flashed an award-winning smile at Josh.

“Good luck on your finals,” the brunette waved goodbye. I was surprised they cared enough to even address me. 

“Thanks,” I smiled. The girls walked away whispering to each other about the interaction, clearly excited. “They were nice,” I said, turning to Josh. 

“Most people who recognise us are. The people who like our music are different, they care. But… you need to get back to studying. It’s already 5,” he responded. I looked at the clock on my computer and sure enough it was 5pm, we’d been sitting there for an hour getting incredibly distracted with each and every interaction with each other. 

“Remind me to never allow you to ‘help’ me study ever again,” I chuckled, getting back to my work. 

Josh pressed his lips to my temple and ruffled my hair.

“Noted.”

//

REQUESTS ARE OPEN HUMANS! I've gotten a lot more followers recently so feel free to request anything! Can't wait to see what ideas you guys have!

[lord-aldhelm]

Writing Interview Tag Game!

Thank you for the tag @bagheerita! This one has taken me a while to do since it is so long. As with the original post I have pasted the template below the "read more" cut so you can copy and paste if you want to do this.

About Me:

When did you start writing? Specifically for The Last Kingdom: it was sometime late in 2022, probably October or November. My original drafts kept getting over-written due to some stupid bug in Word which, when the auto-save was triggered, it would force me to save as a new document. So I have no idea exactly when, unfortunately. Besides this, I used to write a bit when I was a teenager, for my OC, but I never got further than a few chapters.

Are there different genres or themes you enjoy reading other than the ones you write? For fanfics: I mostly read TLK fanfics at the moment, and I suppose that falls under historical fiction/period drama. For genres, I like happy endings with some angst and mutual pining to make it interesting. For books: I am a fantasy nerd for sure.

Is there an author you want to emulate, or are compared to often? For fanfics I cannot think of one specifically, although reading fanfics has influenced the way I write. I have learned to incorporate more sensory descriptions in my writing, and trying to use more metaphors and poetic descriptions rather than the literal way of writing I normally do. For authors, I love JRR Tolkien, Tad Williams, and GRR Martin, so I suppose they influence me as well.

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space? I write on my laptop in my home office, using Microsoft Word.

What’s your most effective way to muster up a muse? Oh I cannot muster up a muse. They sneak up on me and invade my fantasies, highjacking my thoughts and holding me hostage until I write them down. lol! Although sometimes I might be inspired to write something based on a deranged convo with one of my friends, so there is that! Also, having people give me feedback on my writing definitely motivates me to write more.

Did the place(s) you grew up in influence the people and/or places you write about? Not particularly. I grew up in a lower middle class family in the suburbs, not really very inspirational. I do however have a very vivid and overactive imagination.

Are there any reoccurring themes in your writing? If so, do they surprise you? I have not written very much so I cannot say for sure. I only have one long fic and a few smaller fics, and they all center around the same character. I do like to take a deep dive into character development and introspection though. I really love thinking about what motivates the characters, and their inner thoughts.

Characters

Would you please tell me about your current favorite character? Aldhelm... um... I have literally written whole entire essays about him so I won't go into detail here lmao!

Which of your characters would you be friends with in real life? Aldhelm for sure. He would be my bestie. And more...

Which characters would you dislike the most of you met them? Probably Aethelred.. he is such a whiny brat.

Tell me about the process of coming up with your characters? I am assuming this applies to OC's... which I have a few of in my stories! The first is Beohtric, which is Aldhelm's brother. Aldhelm needed a family and a backstory and I felt, most importantly, he needed an advocate, so I created Beohtric to be that person. Someone who supported Aldhelm and gave him some kind of center for his life. I have other OC's which are more kind of side characters created for a purpose, like Wulfstan in the fic about how Aldhelm became captain of the guard. Then there are other characters which are deceased at the time of writing, but I still came up with personalities and backstories for them because they were relevant to the plot. There is another major OC for a story I am working on, who is based on a few characters from other series/movies, as well as being a sort of alter-ego.

Do you notice any reoccurring themes/traits in your characters? Not particularly for my OC's, no? I mean I try to make them more three dimensional, and realistic. Not purely evil or not purely good. Having flaws as well as good characteristics.

How do you picture your characters? In my head? Sometimes I can form an image of them using an existing person as a template (character reference I think this is called?) But most of the time they are kind of generic.

My Writing:

What’s your reason for writing? The reason for writing my fanfics is because of my deep love for Aldhelm and The Last Kingdom, and the overwhelming urge to tell my own story about him. It started out as a series of daydreams that kind of spilled out into a Word document and then it all went downhill from there lol!

Is there any specific comment or type of comment from readers that you find particularly motivating? Anything! Any comments are welcome, even the generic "I love your fic!" types. Although I really love the people that take the time to go into detail about a particular scene or chapter and tell me what exactly they loved about it. That really makes my day!

How do you want to be thought about by your readers? That I am passionate about the characters in the stories that I write.

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer? I suppose character development.

Have you been told is your greatest strength as a writer is by others? Writing a story that is easy to read, has good sensory descriptions, and a compelling storyline.

How do you feel about your own writing? I think it could be better, but I am definitely seeing improvements since I first started almost two years ago.

If you were the last person on earth, would you still write? Yeah I would. Because I write for myself. I love seeing my stories work themselves out on the page.

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, do you write purely for yourself, or is it a mix of both? A little of both? I mostly write for myself, but I also consider if someone wants to read it. I try to make it enjoyable and interesting.

No pressure tags: @thelettersfromnoone @holy3cake @paula-in-dreamland @errruvande

@sihtricfedaraaahvicius @gemini-mama @foxyanon @grinningkatz @thenameswinter99

@alexagirlie @synintheraven @freddie-foxs @st-eve-barnes and whoever else wants to participate!

This took me FOREVER to do so I am not expecting that any of you will do this soon.

BLANK TEMPLATE:

About me

When did you start writing?

Are there different genres or themes you enjoy reading other than the ones you write?

Is there an author you want to emulate, or are compared to often?

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

What’s your most effective way to muster up a muse?

Did the place(s) you grew up in influence the people and/or places you write about?

Are there any reoccurring themes in your writing? If so, do they surprise you?

Characters

Would you please tell me about your current favorite character?

Which of your characters would you be friends with in real life?

Which characters would you dislike the most of you met them?

Tell me about the process of coming up with your characters?

Do you notice any reoccurring themes/traits in your characters?

How do you picture your characters?

My writing

What’s your reason for writing?

Is there any specific comment or type of comment from readers that you find particularly motivating?

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

Have you been told is your greatest strength as a writer is by others?

How do you feel about your own writing?

If you were the last person on earth, would you still write?

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, do you write purely for yourself, or is it a mix of both?

[mischiefbuckley]

I have like 5 different ideas swirling in my head for some fics but again I have never written any and I also highly criticize my own writing (even though I’ve done well in my English classes and yk continue taking essay driven classes for my major 🤦🏻‍♀️) but we will see I currently am working on one of my ideas which is the buddie college au with nerd buck and jock eddie so we will see if I develop it any further lol

[ashotofhelena]

2025

Here we are again... in the twilight hours of the year. Time for some reflections and goals, as is tradition.

2024 was a year of twists and turns that somehow led me right back to the same place as I started in the beginning of the year. It was a year of taking chances, and caring less, and trying not to take everything personally. I learned a lot about myself, and also recognized some flaws I have that may be holding me back in life.

Looking back on the year, I am proud of myself and what I tried to do to achieve the year of change I wanted. I committed to things I wanted to do (writing class! reading, running), and definitely adopted an open mind to meeting new people & dating. Somehow, all that I tried to do did end me back in the same place I was at the beginning of 2024... dare I say perhaps even the beginning of 2023.

So 2025 will be the year of intention and prioritization. I plan to do things with intention, and prioritize this "change" I have been mulling over for the last two years. It will also be a year of taking charge, and putting in the work to see the things I want to happen, happen. So with that... here are some resolutions:

Run 1.5k miles next year! Crazy but I will be training for the New York marathon (!) so I think this will be achievable. I am going to tame myself and try not to set any goals for the marathon other than finishing it.

Read 30 books. I read 53 books in 2024 - a true feat that I am quite proud of! I want to dial it back next year, and focus on reading books I really really want to read. I want to focus on Russian literature, cyberpunk-esque science fiction, and the NYTimes top 100 books of the 21st century list.

Do more reformer pilates and yoga. I did my fair share of strength training this year, but want to add in more pilates and yoga to add to my stability and flexibility. I wanna be svelte in 2025!!

Look for a new job!! This has been something I just didn't do for the last two years. I do love my job, and my team but I really am just not growing at my current role anymore. I 100% need to prioritize finding a new job and making more money in 2025.

Re-learn Chinese. It is honestly embarrassing how little Chinese I know - I want to be better at speaking and understanding Chinese. Going to use some apps to start learning and see where that takes me.

Write / journal more consistently. I did a pretty terrible job of journaling this year, which sucks because I do think journaling helps me process a lot more. So in 2025, I want to journal more consistently, AND I want to write more... maybe some short fiction essays or other essays meditating on life.

DATING. To be fair to me, I really did try my best this year to date!! I went on a lot of first dates, and I also became emotionally entangled with someone who was very much emotionally unavailable (lol). It has been tough but I am holding out hope there is someone out there for me!! Adopting an abundance mentality to dating, and hoping I attract a man in finance, 6'5", blue eyes, trust fund!!

Slow down. I am such a go-go-go girl sometimes, and it is definitely not healthy. Learning to slow down in 2025, and enjoy the little things in life, and finding the beauty in the absurdity we call life.

2024 was all in all, a good year. A year of learnings, awe, and revitalization. I feel cautiously optimistic about 2025, and am really excited to build off of 2024.

[exmeowstic]

as a FFXIV player I am VERY curious to learn more about bastion’s lore!!! Is there anything you’d be able to share?? Like, maybe for example.. what are his canon classes and when/why did he pick each of them up?

I hope that this is alright! And that you are having a good whatever-time-of-day-it-currently-is-for-you!~

WAAA hihi!!!!

SO this will maybe be kind of a partial answer because its an aspect of his character stuff im actively working on (ignore the fact i did write a small essay under the readmore)!! i wanna try to start actually answering asks or floating ideas even if its not 100% set in stone bc knowing myself ill get too caught up wanting to replay the entirety of msq and read everything three times to make sure i know Exactly what im talking about. and if i do that it will take 50 years to get anything done or answered <:3

that being said. tldr im playing around w the idea of his canon classes being

- realm reborn: acranist/summoner

- heavensward: red mage

- stormblood: samurai

- shadowbringers: dark knight/black mage

- endwalker: paladin

more thoughts under the cut :3 im certain i missed smth obvious.

for context before i start truly yapping in game ive mostly stuck with samurai bc i was too scared to branch out and have only Just started scratching the surface w other classes.... to say nothing of actually getting into the job quests and stories and whatnot. plus i played thru arr/hw/a lot of stb Literal Years ago before taking a huge break and only just returning recently... so a lot of early msq is truthfully fuzzy for me.. (=w=) all that being said.

the only thing set in stone right now is bastions starting class with arcanist into summoner!! #limsagirlies <3333 while esp early game hes not doing well and is terrified of everything, he is forever and always defined by a desire to explore and learn things and didnt necessarily have the chance to do that at all with his pre msq circumstances, so i think the moment he had the opportunity to pick up a book and start learning things he took it and ran <3 also i just think its very fitting for his first step to be the "summon a friend so youre never alone" class. you know arr bastion is emotionally dependent on his carbungle :3

i do think towards the end of realm reborn he starts realizing how much shit hes in and comes to the conclusion he needs to get physically stronger too so i could see him starting to dip into red mage for heavensward so he can really get his hands on a weapon. still gets to stick to using magic but now he has a Sord <3 also red mage looks really cool.....

his class around stormblood is definitely gonna be samurai... id like to replay this general part of msq to really refresh myself i dont have too much to say lol and it feels like a rly obvious pick since its my actual main class in game... i think stormblood got the worst of my memory problems tbh

for shb i could see him starting out picking up dark knight (im thinking back in hw he messed with it a little meeting fray and whatnot but wasnt able to fully embrace it until now) though.... i can make it sad. so i will. his classes have been getting steadily more into physical combat and big swords but i think as shb goes on and he gets progressively more fucked up lightwarden style he starts to regress back into wanting to stick with spellcasting/becomes too weak to reliably fight physically the way he has been. (bonus points what if he tried to pick summoner back up but got too upset bc his emotional support carbuncle now looks about as corrupted with light as he does :3c.....) no i think itd be fun for him to pick up black mage around this point. i think clothing wise he probably also uses it as an excuse to start wearing more long robes and clothes that cover up what is happening to him so no one worries <3

a little uncertain past this point for endwalker though im leaning towards paladin (it helps that the lb3 for paladin is quite literally called Last Bastion). something something finally comfortable living up to his name protecting and fighting for what he believes in <3 also i ahm. ummm. i like the idea of him looking like a dashing little knight <:3 im sure gwaha does too.

and final note i took a break after finishing endwalkies so i have no real thoughts regarding post edw/dawntrail yet...

(truthfully i was SO interested in you talking abt clio n lorenzas classes a while back. it was so so in depth and interesting and i love the idea of hybrid classes or just one class picking up skills and flavoring from another and how they blend togther... i do think i need to get the barebones of bastions Everything down before i get into finer details like specific stances and skills and styles of fighting. but i was super looking at how you break down clio n lorenzas classes its so so good!!!)

[secret-third-thing]

Do you read a lot of horror? Do you have any horror novel recs?

- @daycourtofficial

LOL hi. Get ready for an essay.

I need to read more. Oops.

Visual media first: I've watched a lot of horror films with @jessicafongarts. Smile fucked me up, but there was a different one that I really liked. It's the one where the ghost girl has been sitting on the guy's back the whole time!!! I legit have no idea what it's called but ill bug jess to see if they remember. Nothing has every scared me as much as It Follows. I've also seen a handful of the classics - The Shining, Poltergeist, the Exorcist, but I largely am more psychological horror and avoid films that have body horror & explicit violence. I'm a bad film student cause yes those films are spooky but i didn't enjoy them.

x-files and twin peaks could be slotted into horror tv, but my film school sensibilities want to slap the Drama label onto it. Twin Peaks changed me as a person though. My writing has always possessed a dark tone but my Media Crit class's analysis on Twin Peaks gave me the language to understand what I liked. It's about time for my rewatch anyway. I like horror/surrealism/absurdism etc.

Books/Comics:

I'm not as well read when it comes to traditional? horror, but that's largely cause I've been inhaling fantasy for the past two years. I read one Deen Koontz book and noped out. I tried IT and noped out. I do have other Stephen King books I need to try, but I generally prefer things written by women.

I'm currently reading Silver Nitrate by Silvia Moreno-Garcia and What Moves the Dead by T. Kingfisher, (T. Kingfisher is who I want to be when I grow up and I recommend EVERYTHING she writes).

Junji Ito scares the living daylights out of me. The Body horror makes me awlfj;sdlkfj but The Enigma of Amigara Fault is probably the most accessible of his stories? Someone correct me. This Hole was made for me!!!

Bunny by Mona Awad is probably my favorite horror that I've read to date, but it's absolutely not for everyone though. If you were ever an outcast in school (esp if you were a creative type), this will hit you like a ton of bricks.

I've read Such a Pretty Smile (which was just okay imo) and nearly all of Poe. And The Bloody Chamber short story collection by Angela Carter (which is classic but def read some commentary cause iirc it hasn't aged well)

Up Next:

Her Body and Other Stories

Lapvona

Slewfoot

im know im missing some of the horror i've read but that's what immediately comes to mind. IF YOU have recs lemme know.

[jazlynriddle]

Welcome to your life - Pt 3:

It's My Own Design Ch 17:

Summary:

Ominis fought to control his expression, to keep his hands from trembling. Five years. Five years since he'd seen his parents, and this. This was the reason they'd given him the honour of their time? This was the reason they'd sought him out at Hogwarts?

The bitterness welling up within him was thick enough to gag on.

New year, new allies, new responsibilities, new avenues of revenue, and new aspects of their own Ancient Magic to explore. As the Keeper and their partners enter their last year at Hogwarts, it remains to be seen if the new school year will bring with it new problems or adversaries, but they are confident in the strength of their relationship with Sebastian and Ominis. The three of them would endure, no matter what befell them.

And if they were wrong?

What a joke, they would suffer no alternative.

Warnings: This chapter contains smut! It's er, finger lickin' good. Just, not fingers.

Warnings: Sebastian x MC x Ominis! Drug Addiction! Spoilers! Slow-burn corruption! Dark content! Fucked up 1800s orphanages! MC has no love for Anne or Solomon! Dubious happy ending (it's happy for MC, Seb and Ominis at least).

You can also read on AO3! (chapter specific warnings below)

Notes:

Warnings: Implied era-appropriate religious abuse. Blowjob!

Okay, now that I think about it retrospectively, they're horny teens, it should have been obvious that smut was going to happen after the angst, but I definitely didn't plan this lol. Oh well, who's gonna complain about more smut anyway xP

And of course, 10,400 words. Damn, that's a really round number. Well, I guess it's fine since I managed to write this chapter pretty fast. I'm better with this in-head type of writing, I suck at descriptive writing so it always takes me forever and a ton of energy.

When I was a kid in school the standard advice given by teachers to the class was always to write descriptive English composition essays and NEVER touch argumentative.

And I was always the one kid who got the opposite advice; please choose argumentative, your description of the world around you sucks balls, surely you have more to say about the trip to the market than “the light was searing my retinas and the long walk made my legs ache but I bought the items successfully”. How was the air feeling? Don't remember. What were you smelling? A lot of things. Who did you see? Human beings I guess?

Though in fairness, now that I know I'm autistic, it's probably because I was constantly experiencing sensory overload and couldn't register my environment without being hit with pain, or the extreme tunnel vision and goal oriented brain xP

Edit: And for my Tumblr-only readers, I deeply apologise, but we have finally caught up to where I am currently writing! So, you'll have to wait for the next chapters like the rest of my readers on AO3, but in the meantime, I'll also be uploading my old artwork and one of my older fics to a separate blog here on Tumblr as well. So, there'll still be some content appearing, just not really HL. Though I do have two other HL short fics in the works that will probably start going up sometime soon on both AO3 and Tumblr.

Anyway, for this fic series, my Tumblr upload time is every second Sat 3pm PST, which is this coming weekend.

The chapters do go up three hours earlier on AO3, at noon PST, just because mistakes and better ways to phrase sentences always pop up after I hit the upload button and it's far easier to edit chapters on AO3 on mobile. Tumblr lags because my chapters are too long lol

Now, although I try my best to keep to that schedule, I often have to skip an upload and I will usually announce that ahead of time on the chapter that I'm uploading. As I likely will for chapter 19 because my next week is literally full, like 9 days filled to the brim. I am so fucked. So, that would mean 4 weeks between uploads if that happens.

Also the end notes for this chapter are really long... but the next chapter's is even longer. OTL

“Darlng.” Ominis murmured around his toothbrush, as the sound of brushing beside him slowed and gradually ground to a halt.

When he got no response, he reached across to prod the Keeper in the side with his wand and they jumped, telling him that they had indeed gotten distracted in the middle of brushing their teeth.

“Mm? O’ righ.” Came the muffled reply and the sound of their brushing resumed.

Honestly, not encouraging. The Keeper had been wearing the armlet since tea and they'd been markedly absent-minded since then.

Trailing off mid-sentence, drifting off while Ominis was talking and missing his words. Which was rather frustrating, truth be told, he'd gotten used to how attentive they always were with him, but at least they hadn't slipped up and accidentally taken some of the Pain energy.

According to them, at least.

“Hey, have either of you seen the newspaper? I wanted to finish the word search before bed.” Sebastian asked, poking his head into the bathroom.

Almost reflexively, Ominis felt the answer, that he hadn't seen it, surface in his mind. However, instead of saying it, he simply spat in the sink and began to rinse his mouth, because he was not speaking to Sebastian and hadn't since their fight in the afternoon.

Does anything even need to change? His boyfriend's words echoed in his head, and Ominis took a deep breath as he dried his hands and face.

How could Sebastian even say that? This whole Pain energy thing was supposed to be a means to an end, when they did what they needed to, the Keeper would stop taking such a dangerous thing. Going through withdrawal alone had been awful for them, surely that was enough indication of its dangers?

With all the experiments, and the ever-increasing amount of Pain energy the Keeper had to take to stay withdrawal, every day where nothing went wrong was a miracle. They just needed to keep winning the coin toss, survive taking it till Dìon castle had been brought to life and Anne was cured, and until then, they shouldn't rock the boat.

Was that not the plan? Why was Sebastian talking like the Keeper was going to be taking that poison even after they'd achieved those goals? When had he decided that the Keeper taking Pain energy forever was worth the risk? To what? Be powerful enough to kill dragons? How long did those two intend for all this to go on?

Ominis wasn't sure he could handle being under that stress for the rest of their lives together.

Even if Sebastian was right and the Keeper was immune to becoming a monster because of their Ancient Magic, as the only Ancient Mage, they could not possibly prove such a thing until they hit a problem. And that problem could easily be death.

Not to mention, if something unexpected happened and they needed to hide or lie low, and couldn't get more Pain energy, they'd be at risk of dying.

What would they do if that happened!? Ominis�� jaw tightened, no, he knew what they'd do, Sebastian would ask Ominis to cast the bloody Cruciatus curse on him, again, just to give the Keeper his Pain. Nausea churned in his stomach, sick and sour with guilt and shame.

The sound of his partners talking hummed in the background as Ominis followed them to bed, climbing onto the right side and lying down on his back tiredly, their words like senseless noise in his ears. How could they be so cavalier? As though neither were worried about the dangers and terrifying quantity of unknowns in this entire venture.

“Love...” Ominis felt a gentle touch against his face and the Keeper's voice, warm in his ear. “Thinking when tired doesn't get anyone anywhere. Try to get some sleep. You'll feel better in the morning, and we can talk more, alright?”

The endless optimism of his partners really was unbearable. Wordlessly, Ominis turned onto his side. He highly doubted that some sleep would magically fix this.

The Keeper sighed as they gazed at his curled up back, before taking a glance over at Sebastian on the other side of them as he laid down, refusing to so much as look in Ominis’ direction. They had no idea how to fix this.

They sort of agreed with Sebastian on the actual issue at hand, there hadn't been evidence so far that taking Pain energy was any worse on the body than coffee, which was also addictive but not harmful unless some idiot overdosed.

Though their confidence was more because the Keeper felt both that the short-term benefits were worth a potential cost and knew that they could weather any ailment in their lovers’ names, rather than the speculative optimism that Sebastian bore.

It was a problem that Sebastian had, being too optimistic, to the point of wishful thinking. What with how convinced he had been that the relic was the answer when there was no discernible link between Inferi and Anne's curse. It's not resolve if you delude yourself into believing that nothing would go wrong and thus never prepare for things to go wrong.

The similarity between him and the Keeper themselves, was that they simply preferred to suffer the consequences of trying their best, over letting fear halt their steps and to go to bed wishing that they had done more. To be resigned and consigned to whatever fate had in store for them, like Ominis often was.

However, they also understood that Ominis simply wasn't as resolved to accept the consequences of his or their actions. That he could not bear the thought of either of his partners coming to any harm, regardless of how worthy the cause, and that came too from a place of love. If a bit short sighted.

That Ominis was, as ever, mired in doubt. A fear that he didn't truly know his partners. A fear that burned Sebastian, the straightforward boy, hurt that someone he loved so deeply would doubt said love, after everything he'd done to prove it. For while Sebastian had few scruples, he carried a naivety that, ironically, the Keeper thought might have come from Ominis.

After all, what greater proof that a good person could use the Unforgivables, than Ominis himself? What greater evidence that exceptions existed, when an heir of Slytherin was the least purist person he knew? A blind boy, yet sensitive enough to see what few others could. If the Keeper had grown up beside a walking miracle, they might have believed in miracles too.

They knew that Sebastian would readily throw his very life away for Ominis and themselves. Though getting Ominis to see that as the selfless love it was in Sebastian's mind, rather than as the selfishness it instead was in Ominis’, was a feat that the Keeper had no clue how to accomplish.

Lying down with a tired sigh, they really hoped that this would be resolved soon, being sandwiched between the two stubborn boys in the middle of a tiff really was the worst place to be. If it were anyone else, the Keeper would have hit them both on the head and left the boys to sort it out themselves a long time ago.

All this really wasn't helping them resist taking a whiff of Pain energy either. The warm fog had been following them around as they finished preparing the third cell in anticipation of their next subject, and they'd taken the opportunity to explain the collars and their theory about the two ways one could consume Pain energy to Ominis, while he did a routine check on Macnair and Selwyn.

Though it had taken a lot of effort to do so when they kept getting distracted, by the enticing warmth of the armlet, especially with how cold the boys were being. Closing their eyes, they let the exhaustion of the day, of resisting their addiction, carry them into sleep. Hopefully they wouldn't accidentally take some while unconscious...

As the Keeper's breathing evened out beside him, Sebastian fought the urge to turn around and snuggle up to them, his eyes burning, ashamed that he couldn’t quite bring himself to apologise for losing his head earlier. He did understand that Ominis was just scared, but he was scared too goddammit.

Did being afraid give Ominis leave to hurt him this way every time he got scared? Did Ominis think it was fine to hurt Sebastian or the Keeper emotionally whenever he got anxious? The possibility was terrifying, and he didn't want to believe it could be true.

Yet, even when Sebastian had done everything he could think of to assuage Ominis’ fears, nothing had worked. If Ominis wasn't willing to meet them in the middle, couldn't even talk about things rationally, how were they supposed to get anywhere?

They didn't have ten years for Ominis to slowly overcome his fear of the Pain energy, the Keeper needed it now, to survive the trials and dangers that lay ahead. If they couldn't hide it from Ominis, and they couldn't tell him about it, what the fuck were they supposed to do!? This was a matter of life and death, why couldn't Ominis just-

Sebastian couldn't help but remember that day in the Scriptorium, when Ominis had literally refused to take an action that would save their lives. It'd been almost THREE YEARS since then, and Ominis still hadn't made a single step of headway in this area. It almost felt like Ominis didn't see anything wrong with this to begin with.

Sebastian was trying to be understanding, but he just couldn't get how Ominis could be so paralysed by fear, that he would choose death.

Just let us protect you! Sebastian wanted to grab Ominis by the shoulders and scream. We all want the same thing, to protect our shared happiness, why are we fighting like this? Why was Ominis treating him like he didn't care about his lovers? Sebastian wouldn't be trying if he didn't care. Hell, it'd be easier if he didn't care!

After all this time, it hurt that Ominis still didn't trust him.

Sniffing and scrubbing at the moisture in his eyes with his hands, Sebastian squeezed his eyes shut and tried to shove the feelings aside with his Occlumency meditation.

The Occlumency that Ominis had taught him.

Ugh, fuck it. Sebastian gave in and turned around to cling to the Keeper, pressing his face into their shoulder and taking a deep breath of their comforting scent.

Almost immediately, he felt the stress ease and his body relax. The Keeper was right here, warm and safe, and on the other side, bathed in the moon's cool glow, was Ominis, and even if he was still upset, it was assuring to know that he was here and safe too. Yeah, definitely worth it, a relieved smile formed on Sebastian's face and his tears finally ceased.

He always woke up wrapped around one of his partners anyway, he could just pretend it happened in his sleep.

On the other side of the Keeper, this whole time, Ominis’ eyes were wide open, and he lay there frozen with shock, was Sebastian crying?

He listened carefully, yeah, no doubt about it, but... why? For all his emotional tendencies, Sebastian had only ever cried during or after nightmares and that one time he had a breakdown in the Feldcroft cottage.

Was it what Ominis said? It was hard to believe that Sebastian would care enough about his words to cry, when he didn't care enough about Ominis’ feelings to stop his reckless behaviour.

Ominis had spoken truthfully, but pointing out how selfish and reckless Sebastian and the Keeper were being... perhaps he should have done that more carefully. Did Sebastian not even realise what he was doing?

The continued sniffles ate away at Ominis, he'd done that, he'd made Sebastian cry... and the guilt only worsened when he realised that it didn't just feel awful, it also felt good. To hear the effect he had on Sebastian, to feel the power he had over the proud and stubborn boy's heart, to feel some sort of control.

Bile rose in the back of Ominis’ throat, no no no no- he shook the thought away, recoiling from it in horror. That was the darkness speaking, the evil his parents were steeped in, that they'd implanted in him. He couldn’t let the poison in his veins taint the people he loved. Controlling other people with force and hurting them, that was not acceptable.

No matter how selfish they were being, no matter how much he wanted that to change, no matter how stressed Ominis was, he knew that Sebastian and the Keeper were not evil. Neither of them, no matter how frustrated he was with them, deserved to be hurt, the way Ominis had been by his family.

Nobody deserved that, period. Least of all the two people he loved so dearly that he was beset with such fear to begin with.

What am I doing? Ominis asked himself ruefully. I'm not even succeeding in stopping them, I'm just hurting them. But if I don't try to stop them, I might as well sign their death warrants. But what else could I possibly do? Leave? Threaten to break up?

That would probably hurt everybody involved, himself being the only one he would be sure to devastate, but if it got them to stop, at least it wouldn't be only hurt dealt with no progress made. Ominis bit back his own sob as he felt the bed bounce ever so slightly, listening to the now familiar sound of Sebastian turning on the bed, before his sobs and sniffles turned into snores.

I can't, Ominis wailed in his heart, mourning his own cowardice and selfishness, I can't give this up. The very thought of not having the Keeper or Sebastian as his, was nauseating. It was the catacombs all over again, how could he stand by and let this happen again?

A good friend, a good lover, would love Sebastian and the Keeper enough to sacrifice his bond with them, if it would save their lives. What a horrible person he was, Ominis lamented, then and now, he was still too selfish to do the right thing, to be a good person. He'd told the Keeper in the tomb that he might be willing to sacrifice his friendship with Sebastian, but he hadn't been.

What right had he, to be enraged at their selfishness, when Ominis himself was so hopelessly self-serving too?

We're all sinners here. It was so difficult to fight the temptation to throw all conscience to the wind. To give in to the urge to just force the Keeper and Sebastian to do what he wanted, whatever that entailed, and Ominis was tired, so tired of resisting his vile instincts.

He wanted to wake the Keeper, beg them to do it again, help him stop thinking, stop feeling, manipulate his mind into silence once more, but a part of him knew that this was too much for them to suppress. Their words had worked when they first started dating, when he had been more concerned about what they were doing with Pain energy, than what it was doing to them.

When he'd still seen them as impossibly invincible, an unbelievable creature that had powers beyond imagination, had power over both him and Sebastian. When he hadn't yet come close to losing them or seen how human and vulnerable they really were. How they too, could be wrong.

Loving them, accepting them, flaws, failures and all, had cost him the ability to uncritically leave everything up to them, to surrender reality into their hands. The irony that the more he loved them, the more terrifying the thought of losing them and the harder to trust them when they tried to soothe that fear with assurances that they couldn't guarantee. Promises they couldn't keep.

He wanted- no, needed them, the Keeper and Sebastian. Wanted to hold them both close, protected, safe.

Compelled by his need and unable to resist, Ominis turned as well and wrapped himself around the Keeper, stretching his hand across their chest to find Sebastian's and entwine their fingers together. His heart aching in his chest when he felt traces of wetness on his boyfriend's fingertips.

I'm sorry, Seb... I just don't know what to do... Ominis thought mournfully to himself as he closed his eyes.

“I've decided to open the Repository. Its power cannot lie dormant for centuries more.”

Thank you, Fig... I wouldn’t have this without you.

“After everything you've seen? What about Isidora's fate?”

Isidora's fate? A fool chasing a hopeless dream, she and I are not the same.

“Isidora wasted her ability trying to save people from themselves. I will not let others dictate what I do with this- my power.”

I have been robbed of so much. A family, a home, my dignity, my agency, Lodgok, the first friend who understood what it was like to be crushed under heel.

I will not surrender anything to anyone else ever again. Please, understand.

“You cannot possibly mean that. You, of all wizardkind, are wholly aware of the misery and pain that that could cause!”

Fig... I'm sorry, but I can't give this up. Can't you feel it? That power, I need it, I need power. I’ve finally found something worth protecting. Worth my life. Worth every life. I can't lose them. I won't let anyone take what is mine ever again.

Not even you.

“I answer to no one. Avada-"

The Keeper gasped, their eyes flying open, heart pounding a mile a minute, feeling somehow restrained, and for a moment, they tensed in fear. Before noticing the faint snores by their ear and they remembered that they were in Dìon, sleeping in their new bedroom with Sebastian and Ominis... who had been fighting.

They cast their gaze over themselves and smiled, and yet, both boys were not only cuddled up to them, but also holding hands loosely across their chest. The soft rays of dawn lay gentle on the two, their faces peaceful and the Keeper was rather relieved to see that their partners, at least, were getting a restful sleep.

They released a slow breath, it'd been a long time since they'd dreamt of Fig, let alone a nightmare of killing him. The Keeper honestly wasn't sure why they'd had such a dream, was it what Ominis had implied the evening before? That Sebastian, and by extension themselves, were monstrous for wanting to continue using that energy. An energy created by human pain.

But would they have? If Fig had survived, if he'd decided that he needed to stop them, would the Keeper have fought him? Killed him?

They'd like to think they wouldn't have, that they would have found another way, but they weren't sure that was true. Perhaps the reason they weren't as offended by Ominis’ framing, unlike Sebastian, was because they felt it was warranted. They were no saint, they'd stolen, killed, sinned, anything to survive, to win.

Demonspawn. Sinful whore. Devil.

God, if he existed, had only hellfire for the Keeper's kind, and they'd come to terms with that a long time ago. Spat their defiance on Matron's precious cross, they hadn't been able to walk for a week after that, but they'd do it again. Forgiveness? How was it their fault that they had to suck dick to stay alive? Grace? Her God could keep his fucking grace, neither she nor He had protected them a whit.

Finding out that they weren't even human, that they were what those pathetic powerless muggles called heathen pagans, one of the witches and wizards they'd burnt at the stake, none of it had been a surprise. Of course they weren't a mere muggle, of course they hadn't fit in. They were never one of them to begin with.

Coming from a place that called all their kind demonic, made Ominis’ desperate wish to be accepted by society rather pointless in the Keeper's eyes. If in a separate group of humans, their very existence was evil, then what meaning did the term ‘evil’ even have? It was arbitrary and meaningless, a popularity contest that they refused to take part in.

They gazed at Ominis’ beautiful countenance, his cheek pressed sweetly against their arm, all curled up like a cat. Still, they couldn't find it in themselves to force him to face this, it was something he would have to come to terms with on his own, they could only protect him till then.

With a tired sigh, the Keeper considered closing their eyes and going back to sleep, when they realised that something was missing.

Frowning, they cursed under their breath, the armlet peeking out from between Ominis’ arms... wasn't glowing. Fuuuuuuck.

Ominis was going to be pissed. The Keeper sighed, well, that explained the dream at least, and the reason they felt a bit warmer than usual. Trying to get a good look at the armlet, they attempted to slip their arm out of Ominis’ grasp, but unfortunately, he didn't seem very happy about that.

“Mnm, warm...” Ominis grumbled, gripping their arm tighter and rubbing his cheek against their shoulder.

The Keeper smiled softly, cute. Well, at least until he frowned and mumbled. “Why are you so warm?”

Aaand so it begins, the Keeper sighed again, not a moment more peace to enjoy. “Well, love, it seems... that, while I was unconscious, I unintentionally took today's dose-”

Ominis shot upright immediately, though he seemed to have forgotten, or not noticed, that his hand was still attached to Sebastian's and the brunet was promptly awoken, as he was yanked halfway across the Keeper by his arm.

“Wha de-” Sebastian mumbled, blinking blankly at thin air with an adorably confused expression as his hand was dropped.

Patting the messy bush of hair on his head, the Keeper gave him a soft smile too and a kiss on the forehead. “Morning, Seb.”

He blinked at them with doe-eyes for several moments, his brain visibly struggling to catch up, before he yawned and dropped his head onto their chest with a barely audible. “...mor...in...”

Ugh, why is he so cute- the Keeper couldn't resist slipping a finger under his chin to lift it and leaned down to capture his chapped lips in a proper kiss, which he returned with a dazed moan.

“Can the two of you be serious for once?” Ominis sighed irritably as he raised his wand. “I can't cast diagnosa if you're in close contact.”

“Gimmieasec-” The Keeper gave him a mumble, pressing their lips to Sebastian's one last time before withdrawing, leaving him looking as confused as he did when he first woke up, and they nudged him upright with a bemused smile. “There, just sit still and look pretty.”

“Pfft... eashy.” Sebastian gave them a dopey grin, before yawning and stretching. “Whaz goin’ on anyway...”

“Ominis is upset that I accidentally took some Pain energy while asleep.” The Keeper answered, lying back down as Ominis cast Diagnosa on them.

“Oh.” Sebastian blinked, freezing in the middle of scratching his head. “Well, that blows.”

“I'm not upset.” Ominis snapped, and both Sebastian and the Keeper stared at him sceptically. “I'm worried.”

“Well, don't be, they kiss just fine.” Sebastian waved a hand at them with a grin. “Feel free to try for yourself.”

“Sebastian.” Ominis bit out through gritted teeth.

Not wanting to test his patience, the Keeper quickly sat up and slipped their fingers around his hand, clenched tightly around his wand. “And I'm sure you found that I'm quite alright, yes?”

“Well-” Ominis paused, pursing his lips together. “That's- that's the problem, I can't tell!”

The Keeper blinked and frowned as he shook their hand off, standing from the bed and pacing across the carpet in a fit of agitation. “Healers don't just magically know what it looks like when something is going wrong! All I see are elevated adrenaline levels, increased blood flow, heart palpitations, heightened activity in parts of your brain-”

He stopped and ran his hands through his hair, voice strained and eyes almost crazed. “And I don't know what any of it means for you!”

The pain and fear in his voice seemed to have blown the sleepy fog from Sebastian's brain and he tumbled from the bed, stumbling towards Ominis, before hesitating as though uncertain if an embrace would be well received. Which was probably reasonable, especially after Ominis rejected the Keeper's comfort.

“I'm sure we'll figure it out.” Sebastian tried, approaching Ominis like he was a wild animal. “That stuff is so powerful, if it were doing something bad, it'd be obvious even to us, and- and to them, who's experiencing it, right?”

“Merlin's balls, Sebastian.” Ominis groaned, so hard that it came out more like a sob. “They've already told us that it feels good to take! We can't trust their experience of it, do you think cancer patients realise they're dying till they're halfway there!? Do alcoholics know they're destroying their liver? And by the time it's obvious, it'll probably be irreversible!”

“Well, I've been taking it for two years already, surely that's long enough to be certain of its effects.” The Keeper reasoned, joining Sebastian in trying to soothe Ominis, who looked worryingly close to a breakdown. While he seemed to be more coherent after a good night's sleep, he was clearly no less distressed than the night before.

“We don't know how it works!” Ominis exclaimed. “Any negative effects could be something that culminates with consumption, compounding and building over prolonged use! Even if you're fine now, this constant energy use could have long-term effects!”

And there he goes again with the most extreme what-ifs, the Keeper gave him a helpless smile. “Well, that's not right now, and so that's something I'm willing to risk. To protect and preserve us , and to cure Anne. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.”

“How can you say that!?” Ominis shook his head.

“Because I'll do whatever it takes to protect our happiness.” The Keeper answered honestly.

At their words, Ominis bristled, his fear and stress turning to anger. How did they not understand what they were doing? Saying that they were hurting him for him. How cruel, was he supposed to feel grateful for this fear and pain?

“That's bullshite! My happiness necessitates both of you! You can only say that because you're not the one who'd be left behind!” Ominis burst out, fists tight and hot tears forming in his eyes against his will. Like aunt Noctua, it was so bloody worth it to die down in the Scriptorium, chasing the betterment of our family, at the risk of leaving me all alone in that house.

“The two of you can throw your lives away because you don't have to be the one left here alone!” Selfish, they were both so selfish, Ominis thought bitterly. Sebastian had been fine risking his life to save Anne, if he died, at least he wouldn't have to live through Anne's death, but he would leave me to mourn both of them.

“That's not-” Sebastian's voice cracked, and he took a shaky breath. “That's not the reason! We do what we have to because we don't want to leave you alone! How can you think that we- that I'd care so little about them, about you!?”

Ah, I'm doing it again. The sound of Sebastian crying, a few hours ago, echoed in Ominis’ mind. I'm hurting him again. Why is this coming out so wrong every time?

“...I'm sorry...” Ominis whispered. “I just don't know if I can keep doing this.”

“This?” The Keeper echoed warily.

“This! Us! All of it! I'm so scared that something will go wrong! Maybe we should just-” Ominis covered his mouth with a sob, his throat closing up around his words.

“A- are you saying you want- want to break-” Sebastian asked faintly, sounding like he couldn’t comprehend how this was even on the table.

“I don't know!” Ominis shouted, brushing tears from his eyes. “I can't help, but I can't not help. I don't want to know what you're doing, but I want to know so I can stop you, but I can't even do that! If I do nothing, I'm complicit in your demise, if I do something, I'm responsible if I fail. There's no winning anywhere in this!”

“I'm powerless.” Ominis murmured, a hysterical laugh bubbling up from within his chest. “Powerless then, powerless now. Nothing I do changes anything, I just want that feeling to stop. It would be better if I'd never been bor-”

His words were knocked right out of his mind, and his ears rang with the sharp bite of a slap. The impact reverberated through his skull, so all-encompassing and shocking that he barely felt the sting spreading across his cheek.

Then there were hands gripping his shoulders tightly and the Keeper's voice, more broken than he'd ever heard before, hissed in his ear in a harsh whisper. “Never go there. Nobody takes something that belongs to me, not even you. Without you, I'd easily make Gnarlak and Ranrok look like saints.”

The Keeper's words were heavy with dark promise and Ominis’ breathing was shallow, mind still rattled and uncomprehending as they cupped his burning cheek, the gentleness of their touch contrasting the force with which they'd slapped him.

“And you're wrong.” The Keeper continued, and he felt a strange sense of relief, of surrender at their words, he wanted to be wrong, yes, please- “You are not powerless in this relationship, you just can't see the power you have over us, because you can't compare it to how we would be without you here.”

There was a smile in their voice as the Keeper pressed their forehead against his. “I've told you before, we need someone sane in this relationship. Do you really think I could have overcome my addiction without your control and guidance? You know how greedy I am when there's something I want.”

A pair of warm arms embraced him from behind, wrapping firmly around Ominis’ waist, shaky breaths in his ear and wetness on his nape, Sebastian's chest firm against his back. “And I wouldn’t have been able to stay sane when Anne got cursed, if you weren't reminding me to eat and forcing me to sleep. If you weren't curled up next to me while I read forbidden tomes in the Undercroft. I'd have lost my mind.”

Their words sank slowly into his mind, as his breathing calmed, and Ominis couldn't help but release a soft huff. “I thought you were doing homework.”

“Well, sometimes.” Sebastian gave him a trembling laugh and without thinking, Ominis followed it with his own.

“If I cared more about my own feelings, I wouldn’t have stayed with you while the Keeper was off with Poppy last year.” Sebastian murmured after a moment's thought. “I'm not good at it, but I do try to think about how my actions affect you.”

“Even though I hurt you?” Ominis whispered, reaching up to touch Sebastian's cheek where it rested on his shoulder, damp with drying tears. “Even though I can't slow either of you down without hurting you every time. Even though I can't just be a good boyfriend and remind you to be careful and wait patiently for you to come home?”

“How dare you call our boyfriend anything less than perfect.” The Keeper prodded him in the chest. “And I don't know what you've been smoking, but what you're describing isn't easy. Not by a long shot. I wouldn’t be able to sit by and do nothing.”

“Sebastian did, he was worried too but he didn't try to stop you from taking more jobs, or try to... hurt you into stopping.” Ominis protested weakly.

“Excuse me.” Sebastian huffed. “Did you miss the second half of that? I didn't stop them, but I went with them, because doing nothing but waiting is agony. That's why I went with them to the pub, that's why I'm going with them on their next job. It's why I made the dagger for them and why I tried so hard to find a cure for Anne.”

“Doing nothing is torture for me.” Sebastian pressed a kiss to Ominis’ neck. “I'm sorry I didn't realise it was becoming torture for you too.”

“It... it didn't use to be.” Ominis admitted, a bitter chuckle emerging as he traced the shape of Sebastian's hands on his waist. “I used to feel better if I gave someone else responsibility. It doesn't work anymore. I don't know why, but I haven't been able to do that for a while, I can't escape this fear. I don't know how to handle it.”

“I'm sorry that we've made you feel alone in worrying, but you don't have to carry that alone.” The Keeper murmured, a sweet kiss of their lips against his. “We can help you find a way to manage it, together.”

Ominis felt his breath catch, tears welling in his eyes. “I- I don't, after every time I hurt you both in my fear, how can you forgive me? I don't deserv-”

“If you think anyone else could be in your position, could do any better in your position, you couldn't be more mistaken.” Sebastian interrupted. “It's enough that you know you've hurt us and don't want to, are trying not to, because we can help with that.”

“Sebastian...” Ominis turned in his arms, tracing his fingers across Sebastian's brow and cheeks to see his expression, chest tightening at the unmistakably gentle crinkle around his eyes.

“We shouldn't dwell on things we can't change, instead we can look to the future and consider ways to prevent bad things from happening again.” Sebastian pressed a kiss to his palm, and Ominis’ eyes widened at his words, the same words he'd spoken to Sebastian himself a little over a year ago, after his breakdown in Feldcroft.

“I've hurt you so many times over the years too, and you've always forgiven me and stayed by my side... and I loved you for that.” Sebastian's voice was a quiet whisper now. “Loved you since third-year.”

A small smile lifted Ominis’ lips. “And I've loved you since the end of our first-year.”

“That long?” Sebastian sounded surprised and Ominis nodded shyly.

“Well, I can't beat either of those.” The Keeper sighed, dropping their chin onto Ominis’ shoulder, now that it was free. “Between the two of you, I'm starting to feel left out.”

The familiar words got a laugh out of Sebastian, and Ominis could hear the wry smile in his voice. “A lot has changed since the first time I said that, hasn't it?”

“Really?” Ominis huffed dryly. “I feel like I'm still getting led around by you two.”

“I disagree.” The Keeper chuckled. “Have you forgotten how you kept me from killing the woman living just outside our territory?”

Ominis blinked, that's right, he'd felt it then, the hope that he had the ability to change the minds of Sebastian and the Keeper. To change their course of direction, that's why he'd tried to do it again, but it hadn't worked.

“Didn't manage to change your minds this time.” Ominis murmured bitterly, moving reluctantly when the Keeper tugged him towards the bed to sit down on its edge.

“Ominis, that's the problem, back then, we agreed on the goal and then discussed ways of getting there that satisfied all of us.” They pointed out. “This time, you jumped straight to changing our minds.”

“What else could I change, besides your minds?” Ominis asked, feeling a tad defensive at the implication that there was any option besides that. If he could think of one, he'd have suggested it by now.

“Well, we can discuss the facts of the situation and try to find something that we can change. You don't have to think of a solution alone.” Sebastian pointed out as he took a seat beside Ominis, while the Keeper remained standing.

“I want to keep taking the energy, but we have possible unknown negative effects to account for that would make it dangerous.” The Keeper hummed. “I feel like all we need to do is make the unknowns known.”

“But it's a fact that I can't know what a warning sign looks like, the point where I can tell that something is wrong would already be too late.” Ominis sighed, before pausing. Wait, too late? Would not then all he need do, be to see the effects accelerated, to see what ‘too late’ looked like?

But... that meant involving himself in the Keeper's human experiments. Worse still, finding his answers would require that they actively try to turn a subject into a monster or kill them by Pain energy overdose. Could he really do such an inhumane thing? Then again...

His mind returned to the scans he'd done on Macnair last evening. The boy's body was wasting away, frail and weak, his amygdala had completely ceased to function, and his endocrine system seemed to be damaged so severely that Ominis felt that he had no hope of recovery. Did Macnair even deserve it? He couldn’t imagine being in that condition, what suffering was the boy experiencing?

At the same time, Pain energy felt good to take, with his will empty, it would be safe to give him that energy without him trying to break out using its power, rather than injecting it painfully with the collar. Would that not be a mercy instead? To let the mindless boy experience one last taste of pleasure, ending his suffering with bliss.

“Macnair is not doing so well, what do you two plan to do with him?” Ominis asked tentatively.

Having been watching him deeply immersed in thought, the Keeper quickly caught on, quite surprised that Ominis would consider experimentation to overcome this obstacle. No, he wouldn't be able to do that, not consciously at least, they knew his mind well enough to know that. What was his angle?

Bringing up Macnair’s health... perhaps he was trying to frame his participation as charity, after all, the subjects were scum that were already in perpetual suffering, maybe he wanted to contextualise being a grim reaper as mercy. They did wonder how he would justify the pain of collar injection, but they could always help him out there.

Well, those were quite some mental gymnastics he was hoping to do, but hey, any effort from him to cooperate was welcome.

“He doesn't provide any energy thanks to his ripped aura, so I was considering attempting to stitch it up. Which would require pumping him with energy, like finding a leak in a cup by filling it.” The Keeper answered. “I don't have much other use for him, but I would keep him alive, just in case I have need of him.”

The Keeper smiled as they laid forth the bait for Ominis to take, and was satisfied when he frowned, saying. “I think it's quite cruel to keep him in a suspended state of suffering...”

The Keeper silently raised a finger to quieten Sebastian when his expression became indignant, mouthing a simple ‘wait’.

“...it would be kinder to end his suffering. I know you want to have more than one subject at a time, but you'll be acquiring a new one, yes?” Ominis asked, as though he were bargaining with the cruel cruel Keeper to entertain his benevolent petition on poor little Macnair’s behalf.

The Keeper gave him a fond smile, he was so cute, still clinging to those paper-thin illusions that only they could provide. “Yes, and I suppose since I'll be getting another shortly, Macnair’s death won't be too much of a loss, but I'd rather make use of him, even on his way out.”

They would give him what he needed.

Ominis smiled. “I was thinking that I could monitor his condition as you feed him energy, preferably C-Pain in the same manner you consume it. That way, I can compare its effects on a regular wizard to its effects on you as an Ancient Mage.”

As Ominis explained his suggestion, understanding began to dawn on Sebastian's face and his expression became slightly conflicted.

“Same manner, hm.” The Keeper frowned. “That runs the risk of making him too powerful for even myself to defeat. I would also need to find out what distinguishes a painful injection of Pain energy from regular consumption.”

“It has to be the same manner you do it. Otherwise, we can't be certain that our findings would apply to you.” Ominis insisted. “Without mind and willpower, surely he wouldn't be as much of a threat as Ranrok was, and you defeated him without the aid of Pain energy.”

He had a point, the Keeper folded their arms thoughtfully, though it was amusing to hear Ominis defending their strength when it was convenient for him, and Sebastian was staring incredulously at him for likely the same reason. Still, to what ends was he pushing so hard for this?

...it would be kinder.

He'd said ‘kinder’, not more merciful, perhaps that was it? Did Ominis think it would absolve him of being Macnair’s executioner if the boy got to die in power rather than in pain? That dying in pain was ‘cruel’? Well, the Keeper didn't see any particular difference, after everything they'd done to him, murder was murder regardless, but if it made Ominis feel better, boy did they not fucking care.

“Fair enough, I'll see if I can figure out what the difference between collar injection and consumption are, and if I can feed him C-Pain energy.” The Keeper nodded and both boys sagged in relief.

“Thank Merlin, we finally have a plan.” Sebastian groaned, flopping backwards on the bed. “I'm bloody exhausted.”

“I- well-” Ominis cleared his throat and tucked a strand of hair behind his ear sheepishly. “I suppose, I'm sorry... for- well, making this more difficult than it maybe had to be.”

“Nah.” Sebastian shook his head, reaching out to take Ominis by the arm and tug him down, while the Keeper reclined on the bed beside them.

Catching himself on his arms, Ominis blinked in surprise, hovering over Sebastian as the brunet grinned and lifted his head just enough to give Ominis a peck on the lips.

“It's good that you got it all out. I mean, I could do without getting hurt.” Sebastian chuckled when Ominis gave him an annoyed look. “But it happened how it needed to happen, we can always do better next time. I could've handled it better too. I just- you drive me crazy.”

“Do I?” Ominis murmured with a small smile, folding his arms on Sebastian's chest and resting his head on them with a peaceful expression.

“Obviously.” Sebastian rolled his eyes and propped his head up on an arm, brushing his fingers through Ominis’ messy blond strands.

There was a soft, and undeniably loving crinkle around the corners of Sebastian's eyes, as he gazed at Ominis, idly caressing his cheek for several minutes, fingers brushing across the little uneven patches of peach fuzz that were growing.

As he did, Ominis basked in the gentle soothing touches, until they stopped, and Sebastian released something between a huff and a sigh. Tipping his head curiously to the side, Ominis asked. “Sebastian?”

“Nnnngg, how long are you just going to stare at us like that!?” Sebastian suddenly burst out, his cheeks quite red, and the Keeper gave him a low chuckle.

“I'm just enjoying the view, don't mind me.” The Keeper assured with a broad and amused grin, continuing to observe the sweet scene as they lay casually on their side, head propped up on an elbow.

“Right. Ominis is the one who's blind, not me. Merlin knows what's going on in there.” Sebastian eyed them suspiciously, and at their silent, unflinching grin, gave an aggravated huff. “Fine, might as well give you something to look at then.”

Sebastian propped himself up on his elbows and pressed his lips against Ominis’, who chuckled softly as Sebastian rolled them over, so he could pin Ominis to the sheets.

“Sebas-” Ominis’ exasperated sigh was quickly smothered by Sebastian, the brunet straddling his thighs, eagerly slipping his tongue between Ominis’ lips to swallow his words.

Coaxing a quiet groan from Ominis as he ran his fingers down the blond's neck, and the Keeper would readily admit that this was indeed a much better show, and one they would most certainly never tire of watching. The brief flashes of heated muscle entwined within the spaces between their lips, the way Sebastian shuddered when Ominis’ hands travelled down to his hips, gripping firmly as he ground their waists together.

Exquisite.

Cheeks aflame, Sebastian's mouth left Ominis’ to gasp as the blond's hardening length rubbed against his, releasing a low moan at the sensation and pressing his lips to Ominis’ throat as he rocked back eagerly. Only for Ominis to make a soft sound of discomfort and crane his face away.

“Merlin's bea- your beard, Sebastian, is getting too much for this!” Ominis complained, shoving Sebastian's head a distance away with a hand. “Are you trying to sandpaper my jawline into shape?”

“Please don't, I think it's perfectly shaped as it is.” The Keeper snickered.

“Oh, come on, Ominis, it's just a bit of fuzz.” Sebastian grumbled, his words muffled around the palm pressed against his cheek.

“You call this a bit of fuzz!?” Ominis exclaimed, running his nails along the bristles on Sebastian's jaw and producing an amusingly loud scratchy sound. “I've no doubt you look like a vagabond right now.”

“The kind of handsome, roguish vagabond that will steal your heart and make off with your virginity?” Sebastian grinned and the Keeper burst into laughter at the unamused glare Ominis levelled at him.

“The kind of vagabond that is homeless and in dire need of a razor.” Ominis retorted.

“Well, I've been busy the last two mornings, and I wasn't exactly in the mood to shave last night, now was I.” Sebastian grumbled, and Ominis’ eyes immediately darkened.

The Keeper quickly interjected, before the atmosphere could sour. “Why don't you go brush and shave then? That way, you'll be able to give Ominis a blowjob if he sees fit to grant you the honour.”

Sebastian immediately brightened and he grabbed Ominis by the shoulders. “Alright, I'll clean up and then I'm finally gonna get to see what they're always raving about.”

“Wha- wait- I didn't agre-” Ominis stammered, his face completely red as Sebastian nearly flew off the bed and into the adjoining bathroom, before turning towards the Keeper with an incredulous expression. “You rave about my- my-”

The Keeper gave him an unrepentant grin. “You do have a lovely pecker, darling. Rather outstanding really, few are quite as fortunate in that regard.”

“Salazar save me.” Ominis muttered, covering his face and climbing out of the bed to follow after Sebastian. “Sebastian, I never agreed to anything!”

“Wai ‘ot?” Sebastian mumbled around his toothbrush.

“It would give him some incentive to take care of himself. Pups need something to strive for when in training.” The Keeper chuckled as they slipped around Ominis and into the bathroom to get their own toothbrush.

“Exac'ly!” Sebastian spat in the sink before pausing. “Hang on train-”

“My dick is not a carrot!” Ominis exclaimed.

“Of course not, it's closer to a lollipop.” The Keeper grinned, very much amused by this line of discussion.

Idly collecting their toothbrush, they began cleaning their teeth at the porcelain sink that stood on the left of the entrance to the large alcove bathtub, while on the right of it, stood Sebastian at the second sink, slathering his face with cream.

Ominis groaned and ran a hand over his face.

“Look, it's annoying!” Sebastian exclaimed as he quickly slid the razor over his jaw. “I have to waste ten minutes every morning or I'll start looking like my uncle. Surely, I deserve a reward when I actually do it.”

“Well, you're not the only one that has to shave. See there, I need a shave too.” Ominis gestured at the patches of fuzz on his chin and upper lip.

“Those tiny things?” Rolling his eyes, Sebastian strode over and took Ominis’ chin, rubbing some of the leftover cream into his skin with a thumb. “Alright, hold still.”

Ominis obediently stilled, and allowed Sebastian to deftly whisk off the few bristles that were present, the brunet complaining the whole way. “Come on, these are so fine and easy to shave... and you can go a whole week without shaving before they show up! See? Done.”

Sebastian wiped the remaining cream off with a towel and beamed proudly at his handiwork, before returning to the mirror and his own shaving. “Why are you so reluctant anyway? Don't you always complain about me talking too much?”

Ominis’ cheeks flushed, the sheer thought of Sebastian's mouth around him making it difficult to think through the swarm of feelings that that idea conjured. “It's just- it's hard to imagine I suppose.”

Finishing up with their morning routine, the Keeper stepped aside for Ominis to use that sink. “Don't you feel bad for Sebastian? He even helps you shave, such a good boy deserves a reward.”

Ominis sighed as he washed his face, and the Keeper handed him his toothbrush. “Fine, I suppose if you nutters want it so much.”

“Yes!” Sebastian hissed with excitement as he washed the cream and hair from his face.

Several minutes later, a rather adorably embarrassed Ominis was seated on the edge of the bed, looking like he was on the verge of passing out. While Sebastian knelt on a pillow, that the Keeper had passed him, between Ominis’ knees, lowering his sleeping pants to reveal his partially erect member.

Despite his earlier bravado, Sebastian seemed equally embarrassed as he ran his fingers lightly along the fine blond hairs that Ominis’ length was nestled in. Eyeing it with an almost resolute gaze for several moments, Sebastian leaned forward and gave his tip a firm lick, making Ominis jolt with surprise and release a soft moan, covering his face shyly a moment later.

The Keeper sighed, what was with this blushing maiden atmosphere? Somehow even after everything they'd done together, the two boys could still get all flustered like virgins. Was it because the Keeper wasn't involving themselves and just watching? Or because they weren't leading?

Now that they thought about it, every time the three of them had been together, it had been mostly propelled by the Keeper. Perhaps their partners had simply been emboldened by their unabashed attitude towards sex. With that in mind, it might be better for them to let the two boys explore at their own pace for once.

As the Keeper pondered this, Sebastian licked his lips nervously, quite encouraged by how quickly Ominis had hardened fully, before placing them tentatively against Ominis’ crown, and allowed it to slip past his lips.

At the warmth and sensation, Ominis released another shaky moan, Salazar save him, he really wasn't going to last very long. Just the idea that Sebastian, his proud Sebastian, was on his knees and taking his cock, was enough to make his head swim. His hands twitched, gripping tightly at the blanket he was sitting on, as he felt himself touch the back of Sebastian's throat.

He still remembered how good it'd felt, to thrust into the Keeper's throat, it had been almost scary, how quickly he'd lost control, but their confidence and skill had made it easy to get swept up in the heat, to forget his inhibitions. Sebastian wasn't nearly as confident or experienced as them and Ominis wasn't sure how far he could go. He didn't want to hurt Sebastian.

With a pinch of frustration, Sebastian lifted his head to take a breath, before trying again, pushing Ominis deeper into his mouth, but was once again unable to swallow enough to reach the base. He pressed on anyway, but quickly found himself gagging on it and had to lift his head again to cough. Goddammit, why was this so much more difficult than when he'd serviced the Keeper with his mouth?

“A- are you alright? Don't overdo it, Sebastian.” Ominis asked, trying desperately to hide how good it had felt when Sebastian's hot and wet throat closed around him uncontrollably, how much he wanted to shove the brunet's head back down to feel it again.

He'd never had the Keeper choke on him before, how could something so bad feel so good? The way Sebastian’s throat had rippled around him, pulsing and tightening, and Merlin- the sound. The sound of Sebastian choking, he could hear the wetness of his saliva clinging to his throat, feel it rolling down his cock to touch the sensitive skin of his balls.

“It's-” Sebastian cleared his throat, tears beading in his eyes. “It's fine, I'm alright.”

Without another word, he took Ominis into his mouth again, trying once more to take him further into his throat. The Keeper had done it, surely he could too. So, he struggled to hold his instinct to gag and pressed his head down harder, when Ominis’ hips bucked, and he promptly choked again.

“Sorry! I'm sorry!” Ominis immediately exclaimed, lifting Sebastian's head himself, and baulking at the tears he could feel against his thumbs.

However, as Ominis’ hands moved automatically to clean the fluids from Sebastian's face, he couldn’t stop himself from shuddering at the expression the brunet was wearing. Sebastian looked absolutely wrecked, eyebrows slanted upwards, his mouth hanging open, lips stretched wide from his cock. As guilty as he felt, Ominis knew he'd never forget the image his hands had shown him.

“‘S fine.” Sebastian mumbled, coughing and swallowing, a little dazed by how hot that had felt, his prim and pompous Ominis ramming his cock into his mouth like that.

Sebastian was starting to see why the Keeper liked blowing Ominis. Though, the choking he could probably do without, at least for now, while he still didn't know what the fuck he was doing.

With that, he turned slightly to ask the Keeper, who had been suspiciously silent the entire time. “How do you do it?”

“Do what, love?” The Keeper asked absently in return, a tad occupied committing everything they'd just witnessed to memory, especially Sebastian's fucked out expression. So, Ominis actually liked choking, good to know.

“Well, take Ominis... all the way.” Sebastian replied with an adorable squirm of the hips, likely rubbing himself against the tent in his sleeping pants.

The Keeper chuckled fondly, ever the overachiever of course. They paused to think, well, they did have the bed, it'd certainly be far more comfortable to start with, and it wasn't like Sebastian had to worry about how vulnerable the position was, unlike they had, and it'd give Ominis more control.

“You want to straighten out your throat. Here.” The Keeper stood and helped Sebastian to his feet. “It'll be easier if you lie down on your back, with your head hanging off the edge.”

Sebastian obediently followed their instructions as the Keeper also took Ominis’ hand and guided him to stand, wrapping their arms around his waist and pressing against his back as they whispered into his ear. “And you can stand here and fuck his throat.”

“Isn't this a little dangerous? He can't move away.” Ominis asked worriedly, though his expression and the way his length twitched made it obvious how much he liked the idea.

“It's alright, I can just tap your leg if I need to breathe.” Sebastian patted Ominis’ thigh, his half-lidded eyes heated as he regarded Ominis’ erection, hanging just inches from his lips, and his tongue darted out to lap at it.

Ominis gasped at the sensation and offered no further protest as the Keeper held his length in position and used their own hips to nudge Ominis’ forward, watching in delight as his hardness slid smoothly into Sebastian's throat.

“Oh-” Ominis moaned as he buried himself in, all the way to the base. The Keeper took his twitching hands, and placed them on the bulge in Sebastian's throat, before letting go as he began, of his own accord, to trace the shape of his own erection stretching Sebastian's skin.

“Doing alright down there?” The Keeper asked, and Sebastian flashed them a thumbs up, making an affirmative sound around the obstruction in his throat and getting another moan from Ominis as a result.

Chuckling, the Keeper murmured into Ominis’ ear, lapping teasingly at the shell. “There, you can let go, love. Stop thinking and do what feels good.”

With a keening sound in his throat, Ominis tentatively moved his hips, drawing back slightly, before pushing in again, shuddering as his sensitive tip rubbed against the back of Sebastian's tongue. The hollow squelch of his cock sealing the inside of Sebastian’s throat, creating a vacuum, a space where only he could pass through, the thought of pouring his seed inside Sebastian making his mind melt.

Ominis couldn’t help but rock harder into him, panting from the heat that was building in his body, the Keeper's warm chest against his back, their hands slipping under his shirt to rub and tug at his sensitive nipples. It feels so good-

He felt a few taps against his thigh, as Sebastian's throat closed around him again, and for a moment, it failed to register in Ominis’ mind, but as the Keeper tugged his hips backwards with a firm grip, he recalled its meaning. The air felt cold on his dick, after being inside Sebastian's warmth, but he was grateful that the Keeper had helped him stop.

“T- thank-” Ominis muttered as he turned his head to the side, and the Keeper captured his lips with their own, while Sebastian coughed and gasped for breath.

Releasing Ominis’ lips, the Keeper murmured gently. “Try to keep a consistent rhythm and pull out every four thrusts to let him breathe.”

Swallowing thickly, Ominis nodded, while Sebastian gave a weak laugh, and asked. “You were counting?”

“I was.” The Keeper chuckled, taking Ominis’ length and guiding him back into Sebastian's mouth, purring into Ominis ear. “Aren't you two lucky to have me.”

Moaning softly, Ominis nodded automatically, as they gripped his hips and guided him in at a languid pace, his fingers wrapping around their wrist and spasming as he fucked Sebastian's throat at their coaxing. It was a struggle to keep counting through the haze of pleasure and it helped to have their guidance, especially when it became more difficult to stop every time Sebastian choked.

Though, he was actually rather glad for the need to keep track of his thrusts, it was probably the only reason that he hadn't come yet. The feeling of Sebastian's hot and tight throat around him was amazing, the knowledge that he couldn’t do anything but lie there and take his cock, insane.

This was the same Sebastian who never stepped back from a fight, letting Ominis use his body for his pleasure, groaning around his cock, the taut skin of his throat stretching under his palm with every thrust.

“He's touching himself.” The Keeper's voice murmured into his ear and Ominis released a confused sound, having a hard time processing their words with his lust clouded mind, and they chuckled. “Sebastian, he's touching himself as you fuck his throat, he's so hard just from this.”

The moment he understood, Ominis released a loud moan, reaching his peak immediately, and his erection throbbed in Sebastian's mouth as his seed spurted down his throat. Unable to stop himself from burying his length as deep as he could go and holding himself there for a shuddering moment. Feeling ecstasy flood his body as Sebastian choked on his cum, before remembering that he was stopping Sebastian from breathing and quickly pulled out.

“Sor- sorry, I should- should have warned you-” Ominis gasped, leaning against the Keeper as his knees went weak.

“No, no. I take full responsibility for that.” The Keeper chuckled from behind him, flicking their wand and casting a quick Anapneo charm to clear Sebastian's throat quickly.

After panting for a few seconds, Sebastian gave them a small pout from where his head still hung upside down, his voice rough and thick. “Aw, I wanted to swallow that.”

Ominis released a sound that was somewhere between a squeak of surprise and a moan, while the Keeper laughed and reached down to pat Sebastian on the cheek. “There's always next time.”

He nuzzled at their hand with a hum. “How do you just keep going without needing to stop to breathe?”

“It's possible to breathe while giving a blowjob, it takes some... practice to get the right timing. But not everyone can, so don't feel bad if you don't manage it.” Straightening and placing a kiss on Ominis’ flushed cheek, the Keeper flashed Sebastian a wide smirk. “Now, my turn.”

Seeing it from his spot on the bed, Sebastian swallowed, and his erection twitched in his grip.

“How long will he have us play the villain so he can be the saint?”

“However long he needs it.”

“Does it not hurt?”

“A tad, but I take comfort in knowing that it's an illusion and that he needs it. Are you willing to deny him an illusion so vital to his mental wellness? We all know what it is, even him, somewhere deep down. And now that you understand that he believes it for his own sanity, not because he really sees us as despicable, does it not hurt less?”

“I suppose so...”

“Chin up, my love. I'm sure it won't be forever, he just needs time, and this will keep him with us and happy till that day comes.”

“...you're right, it just- it does still hurt, and it'll take time to get used to remembering that it's an illusion for him. That he doesn't actually think we're cruel. But you're right, it's worth it. He's worth it.”

“Good, I'm glad you agree. Now go get the bottle to feed Shai.”

“Ugh, Ominis is worth getting hurt for, but I'm not sure this one is...”

Notes:

Ominis: I'm a bad person? *cries* The Keeper: I'm a bad person? You're right bitch. Sebastian: I'm not bad, you're bad, fuck you.

I hope no one gets offended by the Christian abuse stuff, I mean, it's historically accurate and I think the Keeper's response is a rather common response to aggressive religious abuse. Particularly considering the circumstances.

In a way, the Keeper's mentality is a progressive/globalised perspective, in one country's culture, A might be “good” but in another culture it's “bad”, once we realise and understand that neither are right nor wrong, just different ways of living and doing things, we actually become more accepting and kinder towards ourselves and each other. Plus, if you call someone bad even when they try their best, why would they keep trying?

FYI, the amygdala is the part of the brain that processes emotion and the endocrine system is responsible for releasing hormones like dopamine, that manage our emotions as well.

Here's a thing about decision making. Our human brains are super defensive and (like with anxiety) tend to overcompensate to keep us from making mistakes, and often, its arguments are not even rooted in reality to begin with.

Studies have shown that when trying to decide if we should take an action or not, our brains simulate the worst case possible and we get hit with the pain of that worst case scenario immediately. Like, on the spot. Whereas when simulating the potential good result, we don't experience the joy/satisfaction/achievement from it.

And on top of that, the pain of failure is multiplied by 2 (or more) during simulation while positive results are halved in emotional value. This means that we're not making our decisions objectively, they're vibes based rather than looking at the reality of the situation.

To make things worse, when stressed or fatigued, our amygdala gets even more sensitive and we can become even more ridiculously pessimistic and afraid to take any action.

That's why when someone is going off on a panic attack, you need to calm them down first before trying to reason with them. (Preferably not with a slap.) People need to feel good in order to think rationally, which sucks when the decision that needs to be made is the thing causing stress xP

In this chapter, Ominis basically chooses whether he wants to be like his parents or not. Victims of abuse, especially children, tend to either become like their abusers or swing the opposite way.

His parents were very black/white simplistic in their logic, “if you don't obey us and be a muggle torturing evil person, it means you don't love/respect us”. So by default he's like that too, “if I ask you to stop because you're upsetting me and you don't, it means you don't care about me”. Rather than considering that there might be other options if discussed or that people could have reasons they can't stop that don't mean you matter less, but that those other reasons matter more.

He understands, deep down, that his parents hadn't manage to force him to become like them, all they ended up doing was hurt him. The problem is that Ominis genuinely doesn't know what to do if someone doesn't do what he wants, all his examples were either his parents’ “hurt them till they do it”, or Solomon and Anne's “cut ties”. He doesn't have good examples of the correct option “compromise and discussion”. So this chapter, was him understanding that there was always a third option there.

I wonder if anyone caught that the Keeper's last line in the dream “I answer to no one.” Mirrors Ranrok's line “Goblinkind shall answer to no one.” The classic fear of becoming the monster you beat xD

So, if a dick is too big, breathing through the nose in the brief flash of pull-out-for-next-thrust, won't be possible, but if anatomy allows for it, the dick wielder needs to is keep a stable rhythm and the blower can breathe in-between. Or just pause to let the blower breathe, yo. This work will not be responsible for death by dick.

Also, wow that blowjob scene was hard to keep gender neutral for the Keeper, but I'm pretty proud of it xD

Making it ambiguous if Sebastian found the Keeper easier to blow because they aren't as long/thick as Ominis or because licking pussy is easier than not choking on dick. Leaving it up to readers if the Keeper's “my turn” refers to them taking a go at Sebastian's throat themselves or if they're afab and take Sebastian's place to let Sebastian have a go at their throat or even sit on his face.

Whatever answer you chose, it's the right answer. That's what progressive means xD Just kidding, sort of xP

P.S. Isn't Sebastian shaving Ominis so cute?

Also the outward appearance versus internal sexual dynamic here is so funny; Ominis: looks like an angel - has the filthiest mind Sebastian: cheeky bastard - wears a romantic rosy filter over his eyes Keeper: stoic - non-stop maniacal "mine mine mine" chant

Many thanks once again, to my Patreon, cheeky_idler, for naming Shai as a Paid member with voting & suggestion power! ;)

[hellwurld]

ten people i'd like to know better!

thank u @blusandbirds for the tag!!!

last song : goddess by laufey

fav. color : pink!! i love all warm tones tho, esp browns & reds!

last book : a doll's house by henrik ibsen

last movie : a charlie brown thanksgiving lol . average high school thanksgiving week is just watching that movie in every class

last show : drive to survive.... sorry guys i love racecar reality tv

sweet/spicy/savory: spicy all the way !! i <3 spicy food

relationship status : girl do not play with me...

last thing i googled : "heroin chic" sounds bad but i'm writing an essay abt the modern eating disorder so it was relevant

current obsession : formula one. i love my race cars i love my guys who drive them its becoming a severe issue . i do really love it tho, i missed being interested in sports in any way, i feel like i only get this hype about sports during the . winter olympics lol

looking forward to : sleeping in this thanksgiving break. also i cant wait for college admission season to be over i am TIRED.

some no pressure tags, just 4 fun lol ! @whatssthepooiintt @tunakitchen @sloths7466 @butchdykekondraki . um okay i am bad with usernames anyone can do this have sm fun

[theartisticcrow]

Silly Game Time: If you were to become the patron deity of one specific aspect of the *natural* world, which aspect would you choose?

It could be as wide as the sky or as narrow as tide pools, as universal as clouds or as localized as one mountain, as alive as animals or as inanimate as rocks. All that matters is that it's of nature and that it feels right for you.

(Personally, I would chose to be the god of dusk, when the sun sets and day fades from the sky to give way to night's gentler moon and stars.)

I think I would be the deity of the northern lights, providing a bit of hope and joy in a part of the world so cold, so barren.

And if I were to be a deity of just anything, I think I would have something to do with knowledge or the correction of misinformation and injustice. Or perhaps I would have something to do with revolution, seeing as the French Revolution is something I take a large interest in and I did spend 11 days writing a 30 page essay about Maximilien Robespierre, explaining why he was not a dictator and why people think that (reactionary propaganda, mostly).

I am tired and feeling a little depressed with the current state of the world right now. Usually I'm optimistic and hopeful (what else can I do in my current position?) and I am quick to correct the idiocy of other people who think murdering innocent people in somehow justified (yes, I have had to deal with this. My strong sense of social justice that came free with the autism doesn't allow me to let it slide [lol that's pretty much how Robespierre died])... But today I just feel a bit sad. Thus why I'm answering this ask even though it is from so long ago. I think I meant to answer it but I forgot.

Of course, I did see a play literally about the holocaust earlier today, so it shouldn't be surprising that it had some effect on me. It was really well down and honestly had me close to tears at a couple points throughout the performance, which is saying something because I don't get that kind of emotional very easily.

If I could be a deity of anything, I think I'd like to be a deity of Hope.

But on a more positive and amusing side of things, look what I happened upon in the lighting booth today

Saw the little Robespierre cut out yesterday and couldn't help myself. Funniest thing is that I am factually correct, it's hardly even a joke at this point.

All that said and done, I'm probably going to lie down now. Hey, at least I have Friday off tomorrow so I finally get to take a break for the first time in over a week. I've got everything together for my best friend's birthday "party" on Saturday. It'll just be us too, he doesn't have any other close friends (his school kind of sucks and people suck). Plan I think is that we'll go bowling then head back to his place. He hates his birthday yet refuses to tell me why, but I'm determined to make it fun. I have an entire wooden chest full of gifts, plus a Bill Cipher poster that I created, since of course he's a big Gravity Falls fan and kind of turned me into on too.

I also am going to give him a few of my rubber rats, a nice cloak that I spent three days fixing up, a harmonica I found in my closet, some other random things including a traffic cone that I painstakingly managed to fit inside the box, and the Book of Bill, which I know he will be delighted to see. I'm not too worried about him seeing this despite him technically having a tumblr account. I think he's already forgotten about it anyways, so...

And then I've got some government exam or whatever on Monday that I'm required to complete if I want to ever graduate high school, but I'm not too worried about it. I am however super excited for November because my Drama teacher is offering to take anyone from my Drama class who's interested to go see a production of the Sweeney Todd musical, so I'll be seeing that next month.

Haven't really got much else going on aside from schoolwork and a slideshow presentation that I'm working on as a science project and already I have failed to take it seriously. The first slide starts out with the caption: ASTRONOMY TIMELINE "What's the worst that could happen" and then the next slide is the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs, and then one of the dinosaurs in the image is saying "yeah, I'm sure that's edible" which becomes their last words on a gravestone, so you know this is going to be a good presentation.

Also here's a photo I took of a pigeon while I was in Toronto last weekend.

Sorry but also not sorry if this comes off as weird in any way whatsoever. I've gone completely off topic in regards to the original question but honestly it's just a nice excuse to off about my life because writing my thoughts down always makes me feel better.

If you see this and take the time to read this through, I hope you're doing well and that you're safe and comfortable and I hope that you never have to worry about any terrible things because the world is a terrifying place. I hope you have a good day or night. I hope you're okay and you make sure to take care of yourself. I would be deeply saddened to hear if anything bad happened to you, even despite the fact that I hardly know you.

We're all just people trying to survive and make it through another day. We all have our own concerns and internal conflicts. We all possess our own feelings, whether others realise it or not. I don't care if I hardly know you, I still hope that you feel loved and appreciated.

[stabbyfoxandrew]

Ok book recommendation. Not sure if this is something you'll like but it's one of my favourite series and I need more people to know about it.

The set up is basically: Atlantis is real and sometime in 1960s (I think) some astronaut saw Atlantis which was previously hidden from humans by magic. Humans obviously went to war with them and won. So now all the people of Atlantis have moved to Nantucket.

The governing class is a group of the most powerful magic users who all have sort of courts i guess with a bunch of lesser houses under them. They are all named after figures in a tarot deck (or rather the decks are named after them) so we have the tower, the fool, the lovers etc

For us the most important court is the Sun Court. The main character Rune and his best friend/bodyguard who have known each other since they were literal babies are from the sun court which was raided and fell when they were teenagers. Rune and Brand are in their 30s now.

Now they are sort of detectives for hire have been hired to find a missing person. While they also have to deal with some unexpected developments from a sanctioned raid they took part in.

Another thing worth noting about Brand (who is human) and Rune (who is an Atlantian) is that they share an emotional bond like they can literally feel each others emotions. It's an old Atlantian tradition that is explained in the books. Their relationship is so special to me. They have the best banter. And are so protective of each other.

Rune one of those characters that are both simultaneously so smart and badass while also being such a dumbass like he definitely laughs at dumb puns and thinks he's so funny. He is resourceful with his magic which he has to be and knows all about politics because he has to he was basically a prince before his court fell. He also has this quirk that I love where when he feels awkward in a situation he reverts back to being overly formal.

And Brand is that sarcastic, so over it bodyguard who will snipe at you but he is also so protective and caring (if you know where to look) (and Rune knows where to look and because it's from his pov you will hear all about it) and is the type of only I am allowed to make fun of him character. He will make you respect his people.

There is also an intricate magic system. Which i won't go into too much detail about but you basically have to charge these special objects with a spell you want to use in order to use magic.

The world is also so queer. Like it is stated multiple times that attraction to only one gender and monogamy are not the norm in this society.

The books are part of an ongoing series currently three of the planned nine books are out but the author also has published a bunch of free extra stories for in between the books.

The series is called The Tarot Sequence and the first book is called The Last Sun. By K.D. Edwards.

I would recommend looking at the trigger warnings though you should probably be fine seeing as you are in the aftg fandom.

(One of the opening lines is: "I am, before anything else, a survivor [...]" though so)

Sorry for writing this entire essay lol. I just really really love these books especially the relationships between the characters no matter if they're platonic, romantic or familial they all love and care for each other so much. They are some of the best interpersonal relationships i have read and I think about all of the characters so much. Sometimes I just have to stop and go oh randomly in my day to day when I think about another devastating thing about them (both positive and heartbreaking)

Oh one last thing before I finally shut up they don't know who lead the raid on their court so that is an underlying mystery throughout the series

oh my god anon thanks for this! like i have to admit i was on the fence when you mentioned atlantis, BUT the rest of your lil essay (cutie i love when people are passionate about their interests!) has convinced me to add these to my list!!! :D

also! when i looked it up on goodreads i was like 'ohhhhh' because i've seen the cover somewhere before? but yes! added! :) when i get to it i'll have to make a post!

[perfectionistdemon]

Summer Dark Academia

I finally graduated high school and in the fall I'm going to attend my local college. I will be pursuing a Psychology and English degree. And honestly, psychology is not mentioned nearly enough in the dark academic aesthetic. Studying the brain? Constantly writing essays? Experiments and lots and lots of books? Hell yes! I have always been talented in English (at least my old teachers told me so lol). I can read for days, and write essays for days but math? I might as well have spilled valuable coffee on top of my assignments. I will cry over spilled coffee. Interesting what makes you cry more; calculus or no more coffee?

Anyway as I drink my Earl Grey tea and write this blog (listening to Dr.Jekyll and Mr. Hyde) I think about mid-year goals. My first goal was to do well in my Advanced Placement classes which I received a 4.0 and an honor sash. But I failed at the valedictorian goal. Not enough sports, I don't pay the school enough, and let's just say f calculus.

So now what? Before starting college how do I make the most of my summer? First I went to the library to pick up classics, such as The Hunchback of Notre Dame (Victor Hugo also wrote Les Mis); Le Morte d'arthur, and Mid Summer Nights Dream. So lots of books? Check. (for now, at least I plan on reading 100 pages every day)

Next... writing! Writing poetry, journaling, working on my novel, and the newest addition blogging! My mom told me I have a creative mind but am better at writing. (I suck at art, they all look deformed.)The next goal write 1000 words every single day.

Music! I am currently learning guitar and piano. Yet another thing that deserves more attention in the academic aesthetic. Piano is greatly appreciated but where are my acoustic guitar peeps? I am currently learning Can't Help Falling in Love by Elvis Presley. I used to play clarinet but I honestly suck at woodwinds. Props to to anyone who has experience in woodwinds.

Finally, the last goal is to practice languages on Duolingo. French, Italian, Latin, and German, and I'm thinking about trying Greek. But hey learning any language (like Spanish or Klingon) is academic enough.

So in summary:

Read 100 pages every day

Write 1000 words every day

Practice piano and guitar

Go to the library once a week

Practice languages

Hope you liked my first blog, let me know how I can improve. And if you like what I wrote comment on how you will spend your summer.