#and Hardison would be so polite to Parker sitting next to her he would love it

[independent-fics]

Rewatching “The 12-Step Job” and actually processing that Hardison and Eliot in the end are arguing who has to sit in the middle/next to happy pills Parker.

[leverage-ot3]

notable moments from The Gimme a K Street Job

leverage 5.05

lemme just start by addressing the episode synopsis: “to take down a competitive cheerleading company which profits by putting teenage girls at risk, the team must tackle their most corrupt foe yet: congress”

y’all they went SO HARD for 2012 and I stan them SO HARD for that

- - - - -

Parker (into video camera on phone): Do you hate me? You hate me. Is that why you’re making me—

[Leverage Headquarters]

Parker (on display): —do this?

Nate: No, Par-Parker, these girls... they need a coach, and you’re the best gymnast I know.

Hardison: Besides, it puts you on the inside at Pep H.Q. In D.C. They’re running cheer camp for the next week up until championship.

Parker: But they’re teenage girls. What do I know about teenage girls?

Nate: You were a teenage girl?

Parker: Only sort of

parker I guarantee you’ll be in your element soon enough

but, in the meantime, parker complaining to nate like an offended child to a parent is everything

- - - - -

Sophie: Look, did you know about this? Girls being dropped from 20 feet. It’s unbelievable.

Parker: I know, right? 20 feet? Psh! Walk it off.

Sophie: Parker, you do know that normal people don’t just “walk off” a 20-foot fall, right?

Parker: So... all those times I pushed Hardison off a building and he was all “aah!”... he wasn’t just being funny?

(Hardison shakes his head)

Eliot: I thought it was funny, Parker.

Hardison: No way in hell was it funny.

Eliot: You’re always upside down, man.

Hardison: I fell off a building. I was upside...

Eliot: Like a Himalayan tree frog.

Hardison: You calling me a frog? You calling me a damn frog? Say it again. Say it to my face

I’d die for this chaotic ot3

eliot “I thought it was funny” spencer made sure to both reassure parker and fuck with hardison in the saME B R E A T H

- - - - -

Nate: Ah, there’s the crux of the problem right there. Technically, legally, cheerleading is not a sport. It’s an activity.

Sophie: What’s the difference?

Eliot: A sport has legally mandated safety standards.

Nate: Yes, and a for-profit company cannot run a sport, which is why pep wants to keep Competitive cheer from becoming a sport.

I don’t know why I was expecting someone to bash cheerleading the show had never ever let me down and I should have known better

- - - - -

Sophie: Ah, I love government. Shady deals, back-room meetings... It is grifter paradise.

Eliot: This is wrong. We work outside the law, not smack-dab in the middle of it.

Nate: Relax, Eliot. Elected officials are the easiest marks in the world. Between their ego, the greed, and the politics... More hooks than a bait shop

another fucked up government episode let’s go

- - - - -

Eliot: Right. Assuming it passes.

Hardison: Assuming what? It’s a bill to keep high-school girls out of wheelchairs. Who’s gonna vote against it?

[Congressional Meeting]

LeGrange: Ladies and gentlemen, this bill is a staggering... I say a staggering overreach of government power.

Eliot: You were saying

eliot is smug and loves proving hardison wrong on principle

- - - - -

LeGrange: Now, I was a quarterback in high school, so I think I know a thing or two about cheerleaders. And one thing I know is that they do not want big government getting all up in their business.

(Barron and Snyder enter the room)

LeGrange: Cheerleaders are strong, independent young women. They don’t need a bunch of white-haired old men from Washington telling them what to do. They don’t need a nanny state dictating their every move

this whole thing was so gross wtf

- - - - -

(Hardison uses his phone to create feedback on the sound system. A technician struggles to fix it while Hardison hands Eliot his phone)

Hardison: Just press this button.

LeGrange: I said, who knows what...

(Eliot presses button and the feedback gets worse)

they lowkey grinned at each other when they did it ,,,

they’re a chaotic duo that thrives on fucking with people and I stan them so hard for it

two words: assholery boyfriends

- - - - -

Nate: No, not... not marks. Elected officials. We do this right, we’ll have them eating out of our hand by dinner.

(hours later, Hardison enters looking exhausted. The others are seated around looking tired as well)

Eliot: “Eating out of our hand by dinner,” huh?

Hardison (sits down): Anybody else feel like we’ve been chewed up and spit out

and that’s government, people

- - - - -

Sophie: I like stealing things that are real. Cash... of course. Land... sure. Art... yes, please. Corn subsidies? Not so much.

let sophie steal expensive art from rich snobs pls it’s what she deserves

- - - - -

Girl: Um, coach?

Parker: Right! Okay, who’s up for some basic gymnastics drills?

(Parker presses a button and LASER light lines shine between orange cones. A girl in the back raises her hand)

Parker: Yes. You. What are you called?

Madison: Madison. Can I be excused? I don’t feel well.

Parker: But... We have... laser grid, Madison. Laser grid. Huh?

(on phone call)

Parker: They’re so jaded

I hope they still learned how to dodge lasers at the end

also ,,, THEIR PERFORMANCE WAS SO GOOD AT THE END PARKER TAUGHT THEM SO WELL

- - - - -

LeGrange: No, no. Listen carefully, son. Now, people don’t donate to me to buy my vote. People donate to me because they already know how I’m gonna vote. People donate to me because of my integrity. Now, if your people are interested in me, I’m happy to have your money. But if you think you can buy a vote off of J.J. LeGrange, well, you got another think coming.

[Empty Office]

Sophie: You mean...

Eliot: Yeah, I mean the guy’s got integrity. Elected official or not, you can’t con an honest man

congressman: *is honorable*

eliot:

sophie:

hardison:

nate:

*team collectively embodies the surprised pikachu meme*

- - - - -

Nate: Okay, so what’s your next play?

Eliot: Well, you’re supposed to be the mastermind. He doesn’t want power. He doesn’t want money. Maybe he really is an honest man.

Nate: Everyone has a hook, Eliot. Everyone has a weakness you can exploit.

Eliot: Do you?

Nate: No. You?

Eliot: No. Look, maybe this doesn’t fit into your world view, Nate, but there are some people out there that just want to serve. Trust me. I served with them.

Nate: Okay. Well, if all they want to do is serve, you can exploit that, too.

they totally have hooks and it’s the team but smh act like y’all are untouchable whatever

- - - - -

(Parker turns on a light in Ashley’s face)

Ashley: Madison talked to me in confidence.

Parker: A big word for a little girl.

Nate: Where’s Madison?

(Parker leans down into Ashley’s face, growling)

she literally G R O W L E D LMFAO

- - - - -

Parker: Madison? Madis... (sees Madison) Madison, hey, what are you doing down here? (helps Madison up) Everybody’s freaking out. Come on, we got to get you to the competition.

Madison (jerks away): I don’t want to compete.

Parker: What? Why not?

Madison: I don’t want to mess up again.

Parker: What are you talking about? When do you mess up? You’re great.

Madison: Seriously?

Parker: Oh. You were Marcy’s spotter.

Madison: I don’t know what went wrong. We’d done it a hundred times. Everything was going perfectly. (sits down) I just don’t want anyone else to get hurt.

(Nate clears his voice. Parker sits beside Madison)

Parker: Look... I’m not afraid of heights or falling or... Anything I probably should be. But do you know what I am afraid of? Letting down the people I care about. Look, you don’t have to compete if you don’t want to compete. But I think your friends are gonna feel a lot safer knowing that you’re there, instead of having no one there.

(Madison nods)

Parker: Right? Did, uh, that work? Because I kind of got to get all the way up to the roof, so... (leaves the area)

parker NEVER would have been able to be vulnerable and understanding like that in the earlier seasons and we are SO PROUD of her and her character growth

+

“But do you know what I am afraid of? Letting down the people I care about.”

SHE LOVES HER FAMILY SO MUCH AND NEVER WANTS ANYTHING TO HAPPEN TO THEM

also ,,, nate’s fond look at her when she’s saying this ??? im soft

- - - - -

Cheerleader: Ready! Ready!

Announcer: Let’s hear it for the MHS Badgers!

Announcer: Ready! Ready! Let’s go!

Nate: Ready?

[Congresswoman Berkus’ Office]

Hardison: Ready.

[Sophie’s Office]

Sophie: Ready.

[Hallway]

Eliot: Ready.

[Pep Athletics Headquarters]

Parker: Ready.

Nate: Let’s go.

they’re so extra I love them

- - - - -

Ashley: Where’s coach?

Madison: She’ll be here. She won’t let us down.

Man: Wolves, you’re up.

Female announcer: Let’s give it up for the Wolves.

Parker: I’m here! I’m here! I’m here! All right, let’s huddle up. I bet you guys could use a pep talk right about now, huh?

(cheerleaders agree)

Parker: For Marcy?

Madison: For Marcy.

Parker: Go, wolves.

All: Go-o-o-o, wolves!

(cheerleaders perform an outstanding routine. Barron approaches Nate as he watches)

parker THRIVED during this episode and you can’t change my mind

- - - - -

parker watching over the cheer team with pride is my religion

- - - - -

also BIG PROPS to the producers that showed male cheerleaders too

- - - - -

LeGrange: Hi. (to Parker) How are you? J.J. LeGrange.

Parker: I don’t vote.

parker is chaotic and we love her for it

- - - - -

Hardison: And what was that about?

Sophie: Huh? Oh, I was j... I was, um, just planning a little trip to the gulf. The military are breaking ground on Fort Devereaux.

Hardison: Fort Devereaux?

Sophie: Mm-hmm. I love government.

Parker: Missed you guys this week. Good game.

I WANNA SEE FORT DEVERAUX

also parker wrapping her arms around sophie and hardison, happy to have her people and admitting that she missed them? the pOWER

- - - - -

Nate: Good job on this one.

Eliot: I know what you’re trying to do, Nate. You could have told me how to hook LeGrange the whole time, but you wanted to see if I could figure it out on my own. I trust someday very, very soon, you’re gonna tell me what kind of game you’re playing.

Nate: Good job on this one.

(Nate walks away. Eliot smiles, but watches him walk away)

eliot’s bashful little smile at the end is everything

[kaniacqueen]

Leverage International: The Diner Job Ch. 7 Bowling And Baseball

“Ladies and Gentlemen, my wife Jenna and I are honored that you would welcome two yanks from the States here, and we are proud to reopen Tazze e Ciotole under new management. Come on in.” Eliot put his hand over Savannah's as she held a big, shiny pair of scissors to the wide red ribbon across the doors of the diner. At the sound of the metallic snip, they pecked affectionately. Eliot glanced at Nate and Sophie, watching disguised at the back of the crowd.

It was surprisingly sizable. It seemed the Orsinis had talked up the new management enough that a lot of their regulars were eager to sample the wares of the new owners. They eagerly but politely filed in, Orsinis included. Eliot surreptitiously leaned over to them and asked, “I don’t see Yavetz. Did he skip out?”

“He’ll arrive fashionably late,” the wife answered. “He’ll want to make an entrance. Keep the table by the chef’s window open.”

Eliot nodded gratefully for the tip, squeezed Savannah's hand and went to his spot in the kitchen, leaving the rest in the dining room.

Savannah and Parker got straight to work, milling amongst the tables, taking orders chatting and getting to know folks. Making sure the townsfolk loved the new diner as well as the old one would make it easier to ostracize Yavetz and do away with him.

The girls were excellent waitresses thanks to their knack for collecting information on people out of habit. After the initial rush of orders, things slowed down as diners ate and chatted, and that's when Eliot and Savannah picked up the habit of pecking each other at the pick-up window as dessert orders trickled in. Each peck was followed by a chorus of "awww"s from customers and subsequently more dessert orders.

This was, of course, about the time Yavetz, and his crew of five. Hardison helped Savannah push two tables together and the mini-mafia got seated. "What can I get y'all?" Savannah asked in her character's syrupy-sweet Southern accent.

While everyone on the team knew Italian, it seemed this little town found fish-out-of-water Americans, and their accents, endearing. It seemed Southern Hospitality and Little Italy hospitality were similar. Plus, like most of Europe, the townsfolk spoke both Italian and English. The team was able to sprinkle in a little broken Italian here and there to endear themselves further. The men gave their orders deliberately slow, as if they didn't expect Savannah to understand them, while they eyeballed Hardison, Parker, Eliot, and the Orsinis,who were sitting quietly at a corner table, watching obviously. Eliot was watching as much as he could while he frequently had to turn his attention back to the kitchen with the increasing dessert orders. He got wrapped up in the food when there was a sudden commotion in the dining area. He turned off heating elements and rushed out of the kitchen to see Yavetz on the ground, cursing and clutching a rapidly swelling dislocated shoulder. Savannah was in an offensive stance in front of him, hand still out from taking down Yavetz. For whatever reason, instead of throwing him over her shoulder from behind in the style of a baseball pitch, she drug him across the floor like a bowling toss and threw him behind her in the follow-through. He had to remind himself to not show he was impressed...and maybe a little turned on.

“What’s going on?” he asked as innocently as possible.

“Your cagna attacked me!” Yavetz sputtered.

Eliot raised his eyebrows at the name-calling, immediately agreeing with Savannah for lashing out, but outwardly, he had to remain neutral. He looked to her, inviting her to justify the injury. She pointed an angry finger towards the groaning man on the floor. “This sleazebag grabbed my ass!”

Damn. Savannah could never put up with uninvited touching. Putting up with all the belly-grabbing with Blue Suns nearly sent her over the edge. And ass-grabbing? Never acceptable. Unless it was Eliot. But this, of course, wasn't.

He couldn’t blame her for her reaction, but this didn't quite bode well for the job. “Can I talk to you please, Jenna?” he asked stiffly, putting a hand on her arm. He leaned towards Yavetz. “I cannot apologize enough. We’ll get you some ice, and I’ll whip something up for you on the house.” He gestured to Hardison. “Baker? Ice, please.” Hardison nodded and went on his way.

He pulled Savannah to the door of the kitchen, but not through it. Hopefully, she would get the message to stay in character and make it a good show.

“You cannot...bowl a customer like that!” He kept his voice low but audible.

“He grabbed my ass!” She subconsciously matched his volume.

“Jenna, we just opened! We can’t have this!”

“So I'm just supposed to be okay with this?!”

“No! No. But you don't attack people.”

She crossed her arms. He wasn’t sure if she was arguing in character or not. “Attack?! He...attacked me first.”

“That wasn't an attack, it was just...rude.” Eliot knew almost immediately that he said the exact wrong thing. Her eyes got glassy, and it was really hard to hope she was acting.

“So you don't care that someone just put their hands on me, is that what I'm hearing?” Cracks in her voice told him it was time to pull the curtain.

He pushed her through the kitchen door and took a step closer to her. His voice lowered even further, even out of site and earshot of the diners. “Look, sweetheart, I don’t appreciate that the slimeball put his hands on you, either. I really don't. Under different circumstances, I’d crush his face myself. I'm real proud of how you handled it. I’m impressed, really. But we need to make a certain impression right now.”

The guilt set in on her face finally. “Dammit. I just…”

He took her face in his hands. “It’s not the end of the world. I wouldn't ask you to have just put up with that. I...we just need you to look a little guilty.” She bit the inside of her bottom lip and nodded. He kissed her forehead and whispered into her ear, “I love you, Savannah.”

As if she timed it, Parker hit the bell in the window, and called “Order up!” With simultaneous nods, Savannah and Eliot went back to their stations.

Savannah was so shaky. Sure, grifting wasn’t her strongest skill, but she held her own. It dawned on him. Often times, when Savannah would grift, the Soldier would engage, but it never did. It didn’t on the cult job either. Both jobs involved a lot of unwanted touching. Was that what was shaking her up? Or was it something more personal?

He decided he couldn’t put Savannah through that again. He was going to get Yavetz’s direct attention and keep his attention off Savannah. He watched intently as Savannah served Yavetz a caramel drizzled eclair on the house. “I’m so sorry,” she assured him. “You just startled me is all.”

“Of course,” he murmured and dismissed her with a wave of his hand. Savannah looked like she had swallowed acid, clenching her fists as she stomped away. Eliot gave her a thumbs up. She returned a dissatisfied nod.

Fortunately for Eliot, Yavetz and his crew stuck around long after the rush dissipated. Even the Orsinis had been escorted out by Hardison. The place was nearly empty, anticipating the next rush.

Eliot tossed a towel over his shoulder, and approached the table, making sure neither Savannah nor Parker were in earshot. He leaned down and put his arm around Yavetz. “How are we doing, Mr. Yavetz? Did you like what I whipped up for ya?”

Yavetz pursed his wrinkled lips and nodded slowly. “It was good, impressive for an American,” he patronized.

Eliot chuckled through tight lips. “Good to hear, good to hear.” He leaned obscenely close to Yavetz’s ear. “Now if you ever lay a finger on my wife again, I'll serve you your own intestines, sautéed in a nice wine to match. Do we have an understanding?”

Yavetz’s eyes widened in offense, but Eliot's accompanying glare kept him quiet. Eliot straightened and with a wide grin, he wished them a good day, sweeping back into the kitchen.