#and Alice naturally doesn't remember the fire

[victorluvsalice]

Valicer Polyship Week 2024, Day Four: Let’s Dance (Severance AU)

We've reached Day Four of Valicer Polyship Week 2024, inspired by @polyshipweek, and our prompt today is "Let's Dance!" Because, while I don't talk about it as much as I used to, I am still a huge fan of my various ships dancing together. :D And I knew exactly what AU I wanted to pair the prompt with -- my new Valicer Severance AU! Otherwise known as "I Owe My Soul To The Company Store" after that one music video I reblogged. Severance the TV show has a rather iconic scene of the Innies getting a "Music/Dance Experience" in episode 7 (you can watch it here if you are so inclined -- warning, it takes a turn for the violent near the end, as one of the main characters is on edge after learning something interesting about his Outie's life the night before), so I figured this prompt would be the perfect opportunity to do my take on what an MDE would look like for my Innie trio. :) Hope you enjoy!

--

DeeedledeeedleeDIIING!

Smiler jerked their hands away from their keyboard, blinking. Across from them, Victor jumped, looking around. “W-what was that?”

“Sounded like it came from Smiler’s computer,” Alice said, getting up and peering over the partition separating their desks. “What did you do?”

“Nothing!” Smiler insisted, eyeing their set-up suspiciously. “I just sorted another set of numbers, and then that happened.”

“Well, you must have done something different.” Alice leaned on the partition, smirking. “Did the numbers make you feel a prohibited emotion? Ennui, perhaps?”

Smiler stuck out their tongue at her. “You know this entire job is one big study in ennui,” they said, studying their screen to see if there was anything new and exciting. There were the usual bins at the bottom, waiting to be filled with pointless bullshit; there was the giant field of numbers in the middle, a sea of remorselessly ridiculous digits; there was the name of the file at the top, the never-to-be-explained “Hill Valley;” there was the progress bar next to that – “Oh! I made 75%!”

“You – wait, really?” Victor said, getting up and coming over for a look.

“Yeah, look.” Smiler pointed at the bar. “Didn’t even realize...so I guess that was a ‘good job’ noise.”

“Huh – congratulations, then,” Alice said, looking slightly impressed despite herself. “First time any of us have managed that with a file – Wheatley!” she called over to their supervisor. “Smiler got 75% on Hill Valley!”

“They what?” Wheatley came zooming over on his rail to see, stopping just over Victor’s shoulder and making him duck out of the way. “Oh, look at that! That’s fantastic!” he declared, flexing his outer plates. “That means you, Smiler A., get an MDE!”

“MDE?” Smiler repeated, brow crinkled.

“Music/Dance experience! A five-minute dance party – DJed by yours truly,” Wheatley added, spinning on his rail. “Let me get the cart – just a moment!”

He zipped off, humming to himself. Smiler watched him go, then looked back at Victor and Alice. “I – I gotta admit, I’d kind of forgotten that was a thing,” they said, brushing their bangs out of their face.

“So had I,” Victor said, going back to his own desk. “Hang on, there must be something on it in the handbook…” He pulled it out of his drawer and flipped through it. “Here we are – yes, it’s the tier just below 100% completion and Cake Day. I’m not surprised we forgot, though – like Alice said, none of us have ever gotten that far on a file before.”

“They must have forgotten to expire yours before you hit the magic number,” Alice said, smiling. “Well, good to know that we can get rewards other than those stupid erasers and finger traps. Just don’t get your hopes up about the cake.”

“I won’t, trust me,” Smiler said, crossing their heart with a finger. “Besides, with our luck? I wouldn’t be surprised if they gave us a giant wad of tuna fish in the shape of a cake instead.”

Victor pulled a face. “If they did that, I’d burn this fucking place to the ground.”

“Can we get that in writing?” Alice asked, leaning on her hand.

Before Smiler could point out that there was no way any of them were getting access to matches anytime soon, Wheatley returned, followed by a little motorized cart that skidded to a stop beside Smiler’s desk, bearing a trio of cheap party hats in Aperture-approved orange and blue and a couple of speakers. “Here we are! Wouldn’t let me connect to it at first, but I had a few words with it,” he said brightly. “All right, so – just pick your genre of music and your accessory, and we’ll be off!”

“Accessory?” Smiler repeated – then jerked back as a drawer on the cart popped out practically into their lap, bearing a maraca, a pair of castanets, a party horn, a set of bells on a stick, and a single sad glowstick. “Oh. Uh – so – I just – pick something?”

“Yup! Grab your item, then you can choose your music,” Wheatley said, rolling his optic down toward a laminated list of musical genres lying atop the cart. “And then it’s party time! Wooo!”

Smiler snorted. “You’re happier about this than I am,” they noted, looking through their “accessory” options.

“Well, it does mean that I’ve been doing a great job as your supervisor,” Wheatley said, in a tone that said that if he had a nose, he’d be putting it in the air. “And besides, this isn’t like when you guys made those race cars out of office supplies, or went wandering off and petted those baby goats, or had your little make-out picnic in the kitchen. This is an Official Aperture Science Macrodata Refinement Incentive! Miss Glados can’t say a word about us taking five minutes to boogie!”

A grin slowly spread over Smiler’s face. “...that’s a good point.” Sure, corporate-mandated fun was probably far from the best fun they could have down here, but it was definitely the safest. And Smiler really enjoyed the idea of Miss Glados steaming over seeing them happy, but being unable to do anything about it. They picked up the glowstick and gave it a little shake, watching it light up a pleasant banana yellow (not that they ever remembered seeing a banana, but they were reasonably sure that was right). “This feels me.”

“It does,” Alice agreed, coming around to look at the list of music as the drawer retracted as violently as it had extended. “As for your music choices...you’ve your pick of Defiant Jazz, Bawdy Funk, Playful Punk, Wistful Pipes, Effusive Ska, Bouncy Swing–

“That one,” Smiler cut in with a nod, getting up. “This is supposed to be a party, isn’t it? Let’s have the happiest music we’ve got.”

“Sounds good to me! Now, everybody, this is in Smiler’s honor, but you should all feel free to get up and dance!” Wheatley announced, as if he was talking to a giant crowd instead of just three people. “Let’s get this party started!”

Right on cue, the lights dimmed, then started cycling through a rainbow of different colors as out of the cart’s speakers came the most upbeat, high-tempo music Smiler had ever heard. Not that they actually recalled ever hearing any music before, but that just made this tune all the more exhilarating, sending a thrill straight through their bones. Their feet seemed to move of their own accord, catching the beat and sending them spinning across the floor. Laughing, Smiler let their body take control, shaking their glowstick to the rhythm of the horns. Good to know some part of me knows how to dance! Would have been embarrassing otherwise!

“Yeah, that’s the spirit!” Wheatley cheered, bobbing to the beat as best he could while Smiler soft-shoed about. “Come on, Victor, Alice! Not a party with just two people!”

Victor smiled awkwardly and began very tentatively to sway on the spot, raising his arms slightly. Alice, by contrast, immediately threw herself into the music, waving her hands in the air and doing some very interesting hops and skips around their cubicles. “What is that?” Smiler laughed, boogieing over her way.

“No bloody clue, but it feels right!” Alice responded with a big grin, grabbing their hands and swinging them around before flinging them away. She promptly bounced over to Victor, grabbing his hands in turn. “Come on – we know you can do better than that!”

“I don’t,” Victor said, though he did let Alice pull him forward, closer to the cart.

“Well, we wouldn’t actually know if you messed up,” Smiler pointed out encouragingly, making their way over and bumping their shoulder against Victor’s side before fluttering their eyelashes up at him. “Please?”

Victor snorted. “You’re very silly,” he noted, picking up the rhythm more as he moved from side to side. “Both of you.”

“That’s why you love us,” Alice said, twirling herself into his arms before gazing up at him adoringly.

Victor smiled down at her, then over at Smiler, freeing a hand to beckon them over. “Yes. Yes it is.”

Smiler followed his finger, their heart going all warm and runny at the deep fondness in Victor’s eyes, and the cheeky little grin on Alice’s face. Not for the first time (or the second, or the third, or the fiftieth), they found themselves wishing they could leave this stupid fucking office and actually go outside. Go live an actual life somewhere together, where there were windows and seasons and as few numbers as possible. Where they got eat things other than tuna fish sandwiches and do things other than sit at computers all damn day. Where they could be together without constantly worrying about cameras and Miss Glados and the Break Room. Where they could dance for more than five minutes to whatever music they liked.

But that wasn’t going to happen anytime soon, if ever. Not with everything they were owned by fucking Aperture and its goons. But they still had these five minutes, and Smiler was determined to make the most of them. They slid under Victor’s arm and snuggled up to him, slipping their free arm around Alice. She pulled them in close, and together they bobbed to the music, just enjoying each other’s company and the break from the endless sorting. One day, Smiler quietly vowed, glancing at their partners. One day, we’re getting out of here, whatever it takes. And when we do, the first thing I’m doing is dancing with both of you for real.

[horizon-verizon]

tbh there was no reason to say that alicent and haelena were beloved by the smallfolk. they're part in starting the war that put the smallfolk to their knees, it's more reasonable for them to be hated than loved

(Webpage Link)

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Helaena's inactivity works well for her reputation (in-world and out) under the post-Fall of KL situation bc she's surrounded by more actively ruling women and actively ruling women are more under fire than those who ruler for a man, work behind the scenes, or directly rule. Since female rulership is not favored and even suspicious under Andal-Faith patriarchy.

Her own inactivity and the Faith-Andal social expectation of an ideal queen consort to be just a womb-for-heirs can do nothing to spoil the smallfolk's already favorable image/idea of her...bc she doesn't do anything that could affect said image.

Rhaenyra is the "bad guy" for the taxes and trying to rule; Helaena is the "good guy", for not ruling at all (and sitting there ready for symbolic use).

The whole point of GRRM writing about who was "loved" as a Queen and who wasn't was to point out how people in KL characterized a "good" Queen by her innocence, "sweetness" that is really their non-rulership and inactivity. Rhaenyra ruled obviously and directly, while Alicent ruled through others and for her sons in their absence while never having to really put down riots aside from the one she triggered by displaying a dragon's head through the streets. Alicent, unlike Rhaenyra, did not have to contend with rumors being spread about her specifically to destabilize her hand. Helaena didn't rule at all she was always just a consort who affected Aegon only once and that was accompanied by Alicent and other councilmen calming Aegon down when he wanted to imprison and kill Rhaenyra...nothing to do w/the smallfolk.

Yes, Helaena was a kinder, "gentler" person than those around her and even before the war she could have been loved for that....but she was also the most passive & accessory person than those around her and never effected any policies or laws, unlike Alysanne. Helaena never had be into a position as to decided what strategy or tactic to win smallfolk over or to support a city or defend against attackers to said city or to protect her family's image, prestige, etc. other than birthing and nurturing heirs. She never had to implement any unsavory taxes like Jaehaerys-Rego Draz or Rhaenyra-Bartimos or Rogar/Alyssa-Edwell or even just Alicent with her choice to drag around a dragon head. Or Dany with her opening the fighting pits to save her people, deciding not to kill her hostages, releasing a prisoner some of her council advised her not to, trying to get Drogo to stop the rape of Lhazarene women, etc. So of course she doesn't get any hate from anyone, much less the smallfolk who'd be most affected.

Remember that before the war, Rhaenyra's "Realm's Delight" moniker was also her image-advantaged(?) from the singers giving said name (bc child-Rhaenyra was seen as "delightful" at court where those singers are as they also were trying to gain favor from Viserys).

Likely, Viserys and his council used said moniker to their advantage and let their audience develop a stronger impression of Rhaenyra's overall loveliness. And not bc her child self--the precociousness, the beauty, etc.--wasn't real nor not bc she didn't grow up to be actually very beautiful, but bc it helped to bolster her image, this girl who would need a lot to supplement her newfound heirship since she was female.

Remember, too, how Daenaera Velaryon's childhood beauty was lauded and intertwined with her arrival to KL and the Maiden's Ball? Yeah.

It was worked with for Rhaenyra's later Riverland tour and worked to get the riverlords more on her side. this is the nature of the "two-faced coin" that F&B EXPLICITLY stated were of love and hate ("Rhaenyra Triumphant"):

The smallfolk did not know Helaena as subjects--esp peasants--can't personally know their leaders and their families. They love an idea of her; they hate an idea of Rhaenyra. And both images go through exchanges from the circumstances, not ONLY through the person's actions. And tbh and as the book tries to tell us, that is the best position a queen (consort) could have when she is surrounded by women (dowager, consort, regnant whatever) who take on a more active, male-conceived role in leadership.

.............................................................................

This is bigger than "who was the bitch-queen" or the "perfect queen"?...precisely bc there is no such thing as a "perfect" queen aside form the queen who does nothing at all but be a womb for heirs. And if she does do charities, it's not even guaranteed to be exclusively be for the smallfolk. Alysanne was genuinely loved as a queen bc everyone could see how she affected Jaehaerys, she used said influence to make better laws for smallfolk and it was very obvious and public CONSTANTLY, went--by herself--to create women's courts, AND was she visually pretty. Helaena does not have such influence nor initiative; so the love for her cannot be from anything she did but what she stands for in the memory of the smallfolk, who at the were starving and in constant survival mode, desperate for economic and other types of "relief" (that yes, they should have gotten but didn't from noble warfare upending their already probs not-so-great abilities to sustain themselves pre-war), looking for something and anything like safety if not outright real physical safety.

This has interesting commentary and scenarios of what queenship means and how quickly the "coin" of favor of the public--noble or smallfolk, but esp the smallfolk--can turn! And it turns for the smallfolk depending on the immediate results of a leader's actions or to contrast an imagined/real "better" past against the reality under the current leader (Aerys II vs post-Robert's death).

Even way before this, we constantly hear from Jaehaerys I's early reign about "words are wind" and words vs action...let's piece things together, people!

[panlight]

Hi,

Just a question I wanted to ask about. How do you head-cannon the familial(or perhaps lack thereof) dynamics of the other major covens in twilight? eg. Egyptians, Denali, Irish etc

I was thinking about this the other day like with the Denali - Carmen and Eleazar are physically older and perhaps frozen at a more mature age but physically younger members like Kate have been around for longer and I was just intrigued by how these factors might affect their dynamic. Also with the Egyptian coven and how with them ‘generation gap’ literally takes on a whole new definition that makes one wonder if they genuinely do have a unique rapport with each other after being in close proximity for so long.

Feel free to ignore - just my little brain dump lmao. Love reading your posts and hope you keep writing!

Have a great day!

I conceptualize Eleazar and Carmen as the 'Alice and Jasper' of the Denali coven. They are a couple who join an established, venom-linked coven sometime later. The Denali sisters had their 'mother' for presumably centuries, and then existed as a trio for a long time before Eleazar and Carmen show up, so while I'm certain they did shift the dynamics somewhat, I don't see them as 'parental' in any real way. They are similar to Esme and Carlisle in personality, but that's where it ends for me. The sisters are very loyal to the memory of their mother, and they've been around too long to let anyone 'parent' them. To be fair, I feel similarly about Jasper; I don't think Esme and Carlisle 'parent' him; he's old enough to be Esme's grandfather, for one thing, but I also think he doesn't need or want the parental stuff. Affection, friendship, companionship, mentorship (re: vegetarianism), sure! "Jasper honey wash your face and put on your boots it's time for school! Did you finish all your homework?" I can't see it.

I think Eleazar is also like 'the Jasper' in the sense that he has some useful skills and knowledge from his time with the Volturi. He's not the leader -- Tanya is -- but she may rely on him for certain things, just like Carlisle can turn to Jasper for his knowledge of newborns and vampire warfare.

Beyond that I see them as adopted siblings of the original sisters and probably each have unique relationships within that framework. Maybe Irina was closer to Carmen while Tanya is closer to Eleazar or whatever.

With the Egyptians I think there is a more parental role for Amun and to a lesser extent, Kebi. Amun is Benjamin's creator and while that bond doesn't always become parental, given how young Benjamin was (15) it seems like it most naturally would in this case. I don't think Kebi necessarily sees him as a 'son' in quite the same way . . . maybe more like a step-son. He's Amun's son and she loves Amun so okay, this kid is here to stay, but I think she resents on some level that she has to 'share' Amun's affection with him. Tia is definitely IMO a daughter-in-law rather than a daughter. Amun puts up with it because it makes Benjamin happy and he wants to keep Benjamin around. But with Amun there's always that overlay of what he REALLY cares about is the power. I think he does have a lot of affection for Benjamin but it's hard to separate that from his pride at having this amazingly powerful vampiric offspring.

There is a huge generation gap though! Amun and Kebi are literally from Ancient Egypt and Benjamin and Tia are from like, early 1800s Egypt. Completely different religion, culture, language, etc. I remember finding it a little strange in that short film that they were talking about Benjamin stealing fire from Ra; it's the 1800s, Egypt had been a Muslim-majority country for several hundred years by that point. (Also 'Ra' was probably some dude Amun knew back in the day!) Interestingly, 'Tia' was a name used in Ancient Egypt. Not sure how common it was in the late 1700s/early 1800s though.

[darklinaforever]

For God's sake, just because you don't find a character interesting doesn't mean others can't. It's just your perception, don't try to pass it off as the only truth. Different characters evoke different emotions in different people and it's okay to say "I don't like this character" or "I don't find this character interesting." But it's not normal to yell that people who think this character is deep are idiots. You're literally acting like a person who, I don't know, doesn't like the color blue and is trying to prove to everyone that blue is a shitty color. This is crazy.

You :

For God's sake, just because you don't find a character interesting doesn't mean others can't. It's just your perception, don't try to pass it off as the only truth. Different characters evoke different emotions in different people and it's okay to say "I don't like this character" or "I don't find this character interesting."

What is not understandable in these simple sentences that I said ?

(But then, if people find that Aegon II is an interesting villain in one way or another, good for them ! I do not claim to have the holy word about the love that one can have or not have for a villain. All tastes are in nature. Perhaps the depth of his pathos and monstrosity can be interesting and fascinating on a certain level ? But for me, the way he's written doesn't grab me at all and I can't really see anything interesting about him... On the other hand, I think I'm speaking completely objectively when I say that Aegon II from Fire and Blood, is not deep, complex and complicated. Sorry not sorry)

It's Aegon II, indeed, who I don't find interesting at all, even as a villain. He's just pathetic and disgusting, and anyway it seems to me that these are canonical traits of him... But some people like this type of villain and good for them, it's just not my personal cup of tea.

And yes, I said that the character of Aegon II or Aemond had no depth or complexity, which is... true ?

Interesting does not necessarily mean being depth or complex (and even fascinating does not necessarily mean complex or depth). Disney villains for example mostly have no depth or complexity, yet they are usually always interesting and or fascinating in one way or another for the majority of people. The best example I can give is Maleficent from Sleeping Beauty.

Again, I never denied that one could find Aemond, or Aegon II interesting. As I've already said I myself find that Aemond is interesting through the prism of his writing, but not Aegon II. Yet I absolutely do not want anyone who might find it interesting in one way or another, as my old comments from my last two posts prove. So before you accuse me of something I didn't say, it would be nice if you actually read what I wrote. This will avoid making comments from the start of your request.

But please, describe to me all their so-called complexity. Aemond is described as a little devil from his introduction and remains so until his death. As for Aegon II, if it's due to his so-called refusal of the throne in the first place, there are tons of posts, including mine, which explain well why this is pro-greens propaganda bullshit created by Eustace.

Then, as I already said, it is not because a villain can have sincere positive feelings for someone that he has depth and complexity to spare. (I say this in case anyone comes to tell me that Aegon II loved his brothers because of building statues of them. And no, I'm not making any reference to Sunfyre, because, sorry to shatter the dreams of Aegon II stans, but he didn't give a damn about his dragon ; @nrilliree has already explained it very well several times. It's the same for those who think that Aemond cares so much about his mother Alicent, when he didn't even try to get her back after she was captured, even though he literally had the biggest dragon in the world at his disposal. Quite funny when we remember how Alicent declared that her son would come get her... And let's not even talk about those who romanticized his relationship with Alys, when he literally took her as a woman object. This is what war prices mean. It has nothing to do with being a mistress. Translation : He raped her ! Go to see @horizon-verizon for these things about Aemond)

Again, the movie “The Frighteners” is a great example of this. There we find two villains who are madly in love with each other, but who are real psychopaths obsessed with murder simply to break records with crazy looks, including the girl who often screams hysterically. Clearly, we cannot really say, just because they sincerely love each other, that they are complex and deep villains, because they remain quite caricatured despite this particularity.

And that seems to be something that's been happening a lot lately. That we confuse interesting and fascinating, with depth and complexity for villain characters.

Villains can be deep and complex, as well as being interesting and fascinating. But not all of them are. And sorry, but Aegon II is clearly not a character with any particular depth or complexity (unless you sincerely believe the bullshit that he was manipulated by Criston to take the throne and out of fear that Rhaenyra would kill his brothers and sisters. And again, I will say that it's still debatable even if this thing were true).

And I don't think it's crazy to just describe how Aegon II was written as a villain by GRRM. It's great to have your own interpretation of a text, but after a while, there is interpretation and fanfiction that we make in our own heads.

But once again, please try to explain to me the so-called depth and complexity that Aegon II and Aemond possess in Fire and Blood. (Obviously trying to give me examples that haven't already been dismantled and refuted...)

[tessarionbestgirl]

https://www.tumblr.com/tessarionbestgirl/764796232445116416/rhaenyra-stans-see-all-the-characters-with-whom?source=share

All this so that in the end, Alicent uses Criston as a dildo, is cruel to him, and ends up sacrificing him, exposing his location. You should be ashamed to be a fan of Criston and want him to be the servant of a woman who doesn’t care about him.

And remember that the only place where this romantic, religious relationship exists, where she is his guiding light and all that nonsense, is in the show, because in the book they don’t have this ‘deep’ relationship; in any case, they were just allies. So what she did here is canon. In reality, you all use Criston in the same way that the Rhaenicent fans use Alicent. Both ships are shit. 😭

I see anon you really like make up assumptions about people lfmao.

While I like Alicole dinamic, I never didn't critize the choices they done with he characters. I was up front commenting what Alicent done was nasty, she sacrificed everyone she loves for her own good. A character that spend most of her life sacrificing herself for others. This was a 180 degree turn with almost no building up that no character can come back. Is her character assassination.

But also you are generalizing too much. First it have been confirmed by director, there is love between them, and Olivia and Emily said that Alicent have romantic feelings for Cole since she was a child. So no she didn't use him only as a dildo.

Second, Alicole supposedly not existing in Fire and Blood, and say supposedly, because if you squint enough, you can find hints of it, it doesn't equal the fanfic that is rh@enicest, because, you can see the natural development of their relationship considering who characters are and they story and their relationship serve the narrative as daemyra foils.

While rh@icesnt hurts the narrative and drags both characters to the mud just so they can have conversations together.

Is not the same thing. Be for real anon.

[nrilliree]

"Thanks to grrm we had a good faithful adaptation of Fire and Blood with House of the Dragon ! So he is right to preach about crappy adaptations and those who think they can do better than the author and the original story !"

I'm not kidding... I actually saw someone say that. HOTD a FAITHFUL adaptation ?! In addition, this person insinuated that GRRM is in fact subtly criticizing the adaptation of The Rings of Power... I'm hallucinating. Man, it's not all about this crap show. Plus who tells you he doesn't also talk about HOTD in a subtle way ? Who tells you he completely agrees with all the changes ?! Doesn't anyone remember GOT or something ?!

And then even talking about the screenwriters who think they are doing better than the author...

I remind you that the original story deals with misogyny, and that they preferred a discourse on everyone being equally bad. They totally tried to change the entire message of the story !

They modified Alicent thinking that their version would be much more feminist and less misogynistic ! Because apparently the trope of the bad mother-in-law is misogynistic now...

They're adding gratuitous violence that didn't exist in the source material towards female characters who were already experiencing horrible things in Fire and Blood, but apparently that wasn't enough girlboss for them.

They make people commit crimes that are literally impossible compared to Fire and Blood, like Daemon killing his first wife or Rhaenys in episode 9 !?

They also think it's feminism to say that they have female dragons that they voluntarily make smaller than the males when the dragons are basically hermaphroditic ?!

The ages of the characters ?!

The HOTD writers literally butchered their adaptation with ridiculous changes trying to be more feminist. Literally what most people complain about TOO much. I'm sick of people saying this kind of shit. And obviously, generally it's always guys who have this type of speech.

Remove most of the female characters' agency and true personality ? Literally, Rhaenyra is very basic feminine, and now she's the prototype tomboy, which she never was. They wanted to do that ? Well they had Baela !

But strangely, people don't have a problem with Rhaenyra becoming a tomboy, but Galadriel in armor ? Shitty feminist ! Not like this character was called woman man by Tolkien and she was actually a warrior in his texts...

Now Rhaenys doesn't want to be the one to use the dragons in war as quickly as possible, but Daemon is, to make him appear hungry for war and blood. Because women cannot actually want war ! They are naturally soft !

In short, HOTD's bullshit was a good faithful adaptation that made me unblocked. I have the impression that these people live in a parallel reality.

Wait… GRRM's words can be interpreted differently than that he is trying to suggest that HBO sucks at adapting his books and making too many changes, but he can't say it directly because he has contracts and it's about money? Here (in my country) even pop culture websites write about it, lol. That GRRM criticizes changes made to GoT and HotD, and potentially spin-off scenarios. I have to tell the editors that they are completely wrong and an anon on the internet just figured it out…

[mondstaub1]

hord fanfiction

Title haughtiness comes before the event

I am annoyed with Alicent so I made her suffer

Rhaenyra know Alicent like to judge others. She always had. Even as a little girl, the daughter of the hand had delighted in passing judgment over others, while painting herself and her only life as picture perfect, pouis and clean of all sin. Once they had sat in the gardens and talked about their futur husbands and how they should act. Alicent wanted a knight who would adore her. She would obey him and give him as manny children as he wished and he would defend them from harm. Rhaenyra herself did not like the idea of obeying a man and poping out babies. She wanted a man who would see her as his equal, who would put her safety and confort before that of any children they may have. She wanted to make her own choices. Alicent had laught and told her it was immposible and that women couldn't decided their own future. It was their duty to obey their husbands, if they wanted to be trieded well. Rhaenyra remembered looking at her in confusen before denying that. "My uncle Daemon says that as a true Dragon I don't have to bow down to anyone. He doesn't either." Alicent had scoffed and told her, that her uncle was a bad example and that she should not be around him so much. That had angered Rhaenyra and she had stormed off.

As the years passed Alicent became more hypocritical but Rhaenyra could not tell if her friend even noticed it herself. When she told her uncle about Alicents behavior he chuckeled and told her that Alicent was just like her father and that she should be careful. Those who snear at warriors often prefer the poisen. So the princess took his advice and when Alicent began to act strangly, she started to keep an close eye on her. Once she found out about Alicents visits to her fathers champers, late at night Rhaenyra was furious. She had trusted Alicent but that bitch betrayed her trust. So she begann to make a plan to ruin Alicents life. She know the pouis bitch better then most after all. She know all of Alicents dreams and would destroy each and ever one of them.

First she needed allies. This would be way more fun together. So she send a raven to Driftmark, inviding her cousins Laenor and Laena to court, under the excuse of getting to know her family better, which was not the complite reason but a good bonus. Once they arrived Rhaenyra brought them into the fold. The Velaryon siblings held somewhat of a grudge agaist the Hightowers. Since a while ago Laenor had been caught kissing a serving boy and Otto had used that to humiliat the boy for quiet a while. Spreding the word with the help of his oh so pouis daughter, who had the audacity to claim she just wanted to help Laenor find his way again. So naturely both were on board with her plan to bring Alicent down. Next was her uncle. It was easy to get him to return to court, a letter from her was all it took. Getting her father to let him stay was nearly as easy. A few tears and the plea for her family here to support her in this difficult time and her uncle was welcomed back. Seeing Ottos bitter face was just a bonus.

Together they planed. They had quiet a few very amusing ideas but her uncle had an more ruthless approch. Rhaenyra grinned. It was time to teach Alicent what happened when she played with fire.

----------------

Alicent had always been an obiedent daugher. She had never believed herself jealous or sinvoll. But something about Rhaenyra had alway rubbed her the wrong way. The princess shricked her duty at every turn. Paraded herself around shamelessly yet got everything she wanted presented to her. The princess belived herself above everyone and most just went along with it. Maybe that was one of the reason why she found herself in this situation she was in right now. Naked laying on the kings bed, prepering herself to became queen and possible getting pregnet with the kings son. But bevor the ling could take her maidenhead the door purst open and an enraged Rhaenyra stormed into the room, follow by a smirking Daemon. The princess raged at her and the king. Calling her father out, screaming on how he dishonered her mothers memorys by sleeping with a whore so soon after the queens death. The she turned to her and started calling her every name under the sun. Before turning to her uncle and demanding that the get her out, so she could talk to her father alone. Daemon gladly agreed, ordering his loyal gold clocks to drag her to the stocks to be wipped for her disrespekt. Alicent pleaded with Rhaenyra to stop, the she turned to the king who protested weakly but when Rhaenyra gave her father an ultimatum, he fell silent.

So Alicent was dragged through the keep, naked as the day she was born, followed by a laughing Daemon Tagaryen, calling out her shame for all to hear. Everyone from small coucil members to servents wittnessed it. Alicent wanted to die.

----------------

After everything was said and done, Rhaenyra had gotten her fathers word that he would not take on another wife and that she would be allowed to pick her own husband. Laena was made her new lady in waiting and Alicent was soon known through the seven kingdomes as a whore, who was found in a grieving mans bed (Laenor and Laena delighted in spreading the word). Her dreams of marrying a handsome man were distroyed and their would be no sibling to contest ehr claim to the throne.

[rhaenin-writing-time]

I saw that it is okay for us to send you comments? I find your outline fascinating because of how you keep things moving and intertwining, these little spoilers also give me life and I can't wait for the full chapter and see how it translates there.

There are many things I want to say but I prefer to wait until I have the complete chapter. For now I will comment on 4 because they seem to be more of a meta-textual part?

-I genuinely laughed because Corlys is so happy that Luke apparently likes girls.Corlys, bro, why are you like this? 😂I wonder if Laenor saw that little exchange and that's why he doesn't want to be alone with his father 😔

Laenor in general is so lonely without Laena that I just want to wrap him up and hug him, especially since I'm sure he's heard those homophobic comments. Also, the dichotomy between Aemond "warning" Jace and Luke because Laenor might abuse them (🤢) while we know Cole abuses them verbally and even physically by "training" them, it sure is something.

-With the last fragment when the fire appeared I almost shouted: will-o'-the-wisp!! And then not Aemond! Alicent what do you teach your children?!I'm crazy excited to know what you'll do with it as someone who was super obsessed with any legend or myth as a child and whose mother used to tell them to me when we went on walks and camping.

-There is something very painful about Aegon being old enough to recognize and envy what a good mother is, but a deeply adult Aemond only recognizes it instinctively but not intellectually.Then of course I remember how intolerant Aemond is and it goes away 🤗🙃

-The language part particularly fascinates me, especially in this part of Targ history.Can I ask you for more details? How do you explain Jace not speaking it/being bad at it?There is a small audioarticulatory processing problem (I don't remember the name, sorry) that makes intonation difficult when speaking.In fact, I suffer from it and it has been very difficult for me when I learn another language, there is no way for me to articulate well. I like to think that's actually Jace's problem 🙈

I am quite interested in Rhaenys who does not use it as a main language either, there must be a difference between those who learned it in everyday use and those who limit themselves to commands. I especially like the point of associating language with motherhood. Here we have a study on our indigenous people that indicates that the Wuarao language was maintained when they mixed with the Caribs because normally the women were Wuarao and taught their language. But Rhaenyra probably knows it from Daemon... Who do you think taught him? Do you think that at some point the Targ were instilled with shame or rudeness for speaking another language in front of non-speakers?

Really very excited to read more of your fragments and writing❤️

haha yeah send away

I'll warn that a lot of the finished scenes might actually be shorter than the description, and might often just show instead of tell.

Laenor and Corlys... oh boy.

Aemond's about to stumble into something... not sure if I'll post the summary before the chapter though because i might just finish it up.

Jace and Valyrian. I think the writers were just trying to portray him as "dedicated" but just fumbled the ball, because Jace would realistically be fully fluent by then. But... I'm going to go with the interpretation that he's like a lot of those 2nd gen kids who only speak their language with their immediate family and so especially if they're the ELDEST child, they end up speaking a childlike version of the language that's almost a dialect specific to their family home, so they'll often speak their language naturally, but they'll struggle in a formal language course. Anyways, headcanon is that since Rhaenyra and Daemon have really young children, the Valyrian they speak in the family would be somewhat childlike, and Jace would... go out of his way to ignore them when they're speaking more ADULT Valyrian. also, Jace is really dedicated to a formal Andal education because of his position, and wouldn't have as much spare time as the others for the more advanced Valyrian studied.

Oh... we'll get into why Daemon's Valyrian is so good. I'll leave it there for now. I'll also say that while Baelon and Aemon were close, I'm going to interpret them as having... different approaches to a variety of matters. But as for Rhaenyra's Valyrian, I'll say that Daemon was of course an influence, but also Viserys knows it for his studies, Aemma learned it out of duty, and she also had Laenor and Laena who in turn had Corlys.

[charlieslowartsies]

So in your park ranger Au Mike is friend with Freddy, who's a bear. Like a regular bear.

I mean he doesn't talk or anything like that? Just a guy and his animal pals, correct?

Ok I'm interested, drop some lore anytime you want.

haha he does talk, but at first it's just to the gang. THEN it's too Mike, who honestly does feel at times like he is going completely out of his mind a lot during this au. The gang can't speak to other humans, nor were they technically human themselves, only they kinda were? Magic/ghost business nonsense at hand.

Found all my notes! Been percolating the park ranger au since 2017. Might be able to write something for it, and I'd stick it into AFN2 if I did. BIG post I'm sorry.

Notes: 

AU: Park ranger au & real animals au

-The fun of this au is that a) it still has canon impossibilities to rely on. Don’t sweat the big stuff and have the most fun with the small stuff to create a more immersive world. B) making it a fever dream for AFN2 also helps the story just ‘be’ instead of trying to iron out the wrinkles and make it ‘make sense.’ Explore the possibilities, even if they don’t quite make sense. 

It is a mild play on Alice in Wonderland.

Still horror. Always horror. Now just with 100% more woodsy nature type horror. The fear of being chased, but the more out of breath you become, the more calm and ready the thing chasing you is. 

The fear that people who sit at campfires by themselves have. The primal reawakening where your caveman ancestors stare into the fire and remember, thousands of years ago, what it was like when this was all the warmth and light you had to keep you through the cold, deadly night.

The type of terror of being in a forest all alone, which awakens the human’s desire to have a pack/community. Yet here you are, by yourself, and there’s something in the dark watching you, and you are on it’s turf…and your radio just went out, and there’s nothing to save you but yourself. 

It is also a play on Winnie the Pooh, of course.

Marion is prolly the closest to his canon self. 

Edit 5/21: having written LS/LW I’m redesigning him towards his Revived size. (which is actually just his canon size since Help Wanted didn’t exist when I thought of this au in… *squints at calender* 2017. RIP. 

Think more grisled and shriveled toy that a kid lost in the woods. No present box to protect him here. Nature has crept in and nature is heartless as it is stunning. Like a porcelain doll in an abandoned house. Dirt covered, like he was buried. Splintered into odd shapes, like he fought something bigger than him trying to escape. Lurks in the lake mostly but when he emerges, he smells of old water for a while and weeds drip from his limbs.

In KGA, Mari’s powers limited him to the restaurant he lived in and the ones he visited. In PRA, Mari just kinda becomes the forest and it’s lake, and his powers are miles long. So is his initial anger.

The animatronic gang are animals now. Afton’s murders are still for the same reasons as KGA for the most part. (It’s arguably almost easier to imagine/swallow the dragged out concept of him as a serial killer for this au. Kids going lost in the woods, being kidnapped, etc. He could also take children from the nearby town and bring them to the woods.) 

The gang were kinda once toys and also ideas, enhanced and enchanted by the Lake Monster’s ghostly powers and thirsts for revenge/defense. 

Freddy– his kid wanted to be brave, tried protecting the other children, earned Mari/Crying Child’s respect and thus, looking at Arthur clinging to his Fredbear plush, saw no better animal than a bear to embody that type of strength and fierceness. Freddy is larger than average for his supposed species and lighter colored, to say nothing of his far too human gaze. He has a terrible fondness for all types of fish and sweets, and finds it the easiest to forget himself and turn more dangerous, more animalistic.

Bonnie- his child wanted to run away. To be fast and clever and dash to freedom, to her parents, to go get help for the others. She wanted it so bad it was all the Puppet could taste in her fear, the need to be swift and forgotten in a flash. The purple bunny barrette in her hair made him wonder, drawing on Arthur’s memories of seeing little cotton tails well after they’d darted off. Bunnies always seem to spot the Bad before anyone else, and flee accordingly. Bonnie too,is larger than average hares and never seemed to get the memo to be frightened by things. He’s still best friends with Freddy, and mouthy in all scenarios, even when he has no right to be. 

Chica- her child wanted his mother. He wanted her to hug him, kiss his hair, tell him everything would be alright, that this was only a bad dream. As he died, the Marionette came to him and asked what that meant, for Arthur couldn’t explain it well himself, far to lost from humanity by now. The boy lived on a farm, and rooting through his memories showed Mari the concept of hens and their chicks. Safe, tucked under their feathers and warm. Chica is average/typical for her species, and she is arguably the one animal in the group that exists comfortably around any humans. No one quite figures out how Schmidt always has fresh eggs to share, but when they see the coop he put together, they’re more worried how Mike keeps her from being eaten. Little do they know, Mike has more pity for the animals that try than the hearty little hen with a fox at her beck and call. 

Foxy- The earliest to join the Marionette, even before Freddy’s creation. He however did flee into the woods, vanishing for months before slinking back. He considers his existence more of a curse than a gift, regardless of how much he loves his eventual family. Alexander Afton was supposed to be watching his youngest, not playing with his friends. He was supposed to mind his father, and not fill the child with ghost stories and bear-eating-boy stories. He was supposed to keep him from the old dock, not let him near the lake. 

He was supposed to do so many things. He was a child himself, too. 

He was always playing pranks, being sly, being cruel and thoughtless and predatory. The Marionette saw fit to make him resemble his true nature after his father was done with him. It’s unclear what Alexander’s last thoughts were, but Foxy’s body is covered in missing tufts of fur, scars and he’s even missing his front right paw. He is taller than most foxes but scrawny, embracing his instinctive traits to better help and protect the ones who accepted him when he didn’t even accept himself. There is a strange little albino vixen that seems fond of him, though for the life of him he cannot figure out why.

Edit 5/20: Max and Scrap didn’t exist when this au was imagined. For ease, I’m not putting him in right now. I could always do a part III tho.

Mike- Simply taking the job after a rough patch in his life. He needs the money and knows the work won’t be easy. He’s not exactly a shut in but he’s never been able to be the outdoorsy type. He thinks he can handle it, because he was told he could work at a desk and it wouldn’t be too strenuous. 

He was lied to. They drove him out the ranger stations and the living quarters and told him the next bus wouldn’t be for a week anyway. You’ve got everything you need. Cabin, outhouse, radio, gas stove. Dehydrated food, the water’s clean enough to read underwater! Weather’s nice this time of summer, even when it’s hot there’s shade. You’ll be fine, Schmidt. You signed your life away, kid. 

Just one week. That’s all. Then he head back to Hurricane and find another job, put this behind him. His stint as a park ranger for this lake and the miles of surrounding deep, dangerous woods.

Nothing is handled correctly by the humans in this au. Same to be said for canon/fanon FNAF, so. 

The gang is lurking around, easily able to communicate with one another and Marion (when he shows himself) but not with Mike initially. Mike gets Gifted that ability later, after Mari decides he would make a fine ranger/protector for the area…he just needs to be…better suited for the job. 

Fredbear/Golden Freddy is still a spirit??

Used to be a sort of Smokey the bear type figured head, for when the kids visited the park to learn about why we shouldn’t burn down nature, and leave nothing but your footprints, that sort of thing.

Edit 5/22: Just a suit though, no metal here lmao. Mari gets the idea to put the two together and give Mike his KGA set of powers/strength. Like usual, he doesn’t quite consent/gets roped along until he feels too bad to say no, until he realizes how less lonely he is around this cast of characters. 

Mike is still Mike. He makes bad life choices when he thinks someone needs help, or someone's in danger. He knows it's a bad idea, and he might terrified, but if a child's voice in midnight asks for help, he'd still want to check it out, just to make sure, armed with an old flashlight and staring down into the deep dark trail. They never did find those kids that went missing. Not even their bodies.

What could it hurt to take a few steps in, and just look?

[dcviltry]

❝𝕴 𝖜𝖊𝖓𝖙 𝖒𝖆𝖉, 𝖆 𝖌𝖔𝖉 𝖍𝖚𝖗𝖙 𝖒𝖊, 𝕴 𝖋𝖊𝖑𝖑.❞

                                     witchy mumu penned by sam.

𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖆𝖈𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖘.

MERYEM KAPLAN | air witch & kaplan coven

the youngest daughter of the kaplan coven, mery is a breath of air in the weight and grounded nature of the earth witches. she's flighty, and prone to laughter and trickery, often escaping her lessons to find some sunshine or the company of unassuming tourists. the lack of pressure for her to take on responsibility or leadership within the coven has spoiled her, but she minds very little, experimenting with the magic that feels entirely her own and leaving all of the difficult tasks behind for her siblings.

VINCENT 'SAINT' CORVIN | fire witch & unaligned

they say that he's from rhode island, from a coven that now exists in cinders. whispers swirl around saint corvin's ankles, they hover like soot. he's a dark creature, whose blade of a smile is too sharp for most pleasant company. instead, he is often found under the morgue of the funeral home that he owns, shifting through his collection of magical artifacts or poring over old grimoires. his magic is raw and instinctual, lashing out like a whip. those who dare speak behind him murmur that he's up to no good, and they'd be entirely correct.

FRANCIS MONTUORI | fire witch & montuori coven

the eldest son of leon montuori was conjured in his own image. francis is cold and cunning, whose mannerisms mirror that of a whetted blade. manipulation comes just as easily as flame to his fingertips, and he twists and twines through interactions and connections with an alarming lack of genuineness. with francis, everything is theatric and done loudly: when he is good he feels god-like, but when he has fallen from his roost: he is craven and despicable. often he is found walking through the city without true destination, completing the menial tasks that his father has set out for him to keep him out of trouble.

MATEO AGUILAR | water witch & montuori coven

he's noone's son, a water witch in the heart of many inclined for fire. no one remembers how he came to be, or when mateo blew into town– just that he has found his place with his crooked-fence smile, curving charming words into willing ears and putting out blazes without a second thought. he doesn't often work for a living, in fact– some would say he doesn't work at all. mateo finds employment as a club promoter and the occasional dj, shifting from one party to the next, causing trouble in his wake.

VICTOR MARIN | air witch & marin coven

son of the former luis marin, victor finds himself lost in the wake of his father's death. the marin coven has elected a new leader and he has shifted his way to a position behind them, scrambling to find a purpose and a place in a world where he had always been preparing for a role that he finds himself unready for. he's more of a pitbull than a man, baring his teeth and falling into anger before reason. vanity is also the king of his sins, holding hand with grief as he navigates NOLA with new eyes.

ALICE BURTON | water witch & delmare coven

the burton family coven was once prominent in england. they were renowned for their glorified righteousness, for their power to wipe out dark magic and those who wielded it. it was fire that swallowed them up and their great gift, and when alice was too young to understand it: she was without a manor and without a family. it was her sister that she tried to find, wandering europe with little in the way of magic or street smarts. she grew that way, a student of the wide world, learning lessons the hard way. her spirit is empathetic, and it has lead her to new orleans, seeking out the name of a woman who could very well now be a ghost.

YASEMIN KOZEN | fire witch & covenless

the kozen sisters are enchanting: they have been taught to be by their mother, a cruel woman who sent them into the world with little else. yasemin is a fire witch, whose temperament matches her element: she's hasty and destructive, but fiercely loyal to those whom depend upon her. it was a marriage that secured her stay in NOLA, but the dissolution of it has left her and her sister stranded. left behind at a hotel with little to their name, yasemin is angry and desperate, seeking out any avenue to find security for herself once again.

[spells-and-liquid-luck]

OMG YOU SERIOUSLY DO TWILIGHT ILYSM

would you do Jasper accidentally turning a seventeen year old y/n in the forest because she cut her knee open or something and he deals with her terrible moods because she lives with the cullens now. her ability is to like 'fall asleep' and be able to wander around like her spirit can. but she doesn't like feeding on the animals cause she thinks its stupid so the family kinda dissaproves

Headache- Newborn x Cullens

Pain— constant pain. I was writhing in it, and groaning in agony. It felt like my body had caught on fire and I was burning alive. I had to endure three days of pure torture to become a monster. I really didn't feel the need to be a vegetarian as the Cullen's liked to put it. Not that I wasn't hungry, the thought of sinking my teeth in an animal kind of grossed me out. Besides, I'm a seventeen year old new born. I'm going to be a teenager forever. If hell was a feeling, I was going to be in it forever.

It was all because of that damn forest. If I hadn't hadn't there, and hadn't been so clumsy then I would still be human. All I remember was that I was supposed to be going hiking. My brown hiking boots were strapped up, and against my better judgment, I strayed away from the trail. The wind was blowing nicely and it made me feel like I could really breathe up there, and I was soaking it all in. I had stepped on so many crunchy leaves and twigs that the ground didn't feel much like ground anymore so I tried to be cautious and step over some but that was when I not so graciously tripped on an uprooted tree. I ended up scraping my knee and I didn't think anything of it. The blood wasn't too bad so I reached for my backpack that was still attached attached me to quickly grab a band-aid, but the wind had blown a bit harder, and vampires are natural hunters so I didn't hear him coming. Next thing I knew, he was drinking my blood as if I were a human juice box.

Lots of people would have resentment for being turned, but I didn't blame Jasper. I knew that he felt guilty enough afterward. He had enough restraint to stop himself from really killing me, but if I can be honest I hate this place. The perfect family. That's what we had to be. Not to be seen for what we truly are, even if they just killed animals like every other hunter in this town. The whole thing was stupid to me, and now my new family hates me because I refuse to kill an animal. Well, Rosalie hates me to be more specific. She thinks I'll draw too much attention to myself and get us us killed by the Vulturi. Carlisle is just a bit disappointed, even though he doesn't show it, it is still obvious that he is. He gives me the choice on what I want to do, but he's hoping that I choose the option that aligns with their morals and lifestyle.

The only cool thing about being a vampire is that we all get our respective abilities. Alice can see the future, Edward can read minds. Mine being me comfort. As everyone known, vampires don't sleep, but us sort of like being in a state of meditation. Being still and quiet without the restfulness of a good night's sleep. I can travel the world like a ghost. Nobody sees me and I can't hurt anyone if there is nobody around to hurt, and I can see the world like the way I used to see. Colorful and cozy. I can feel things like the way I used to feel it, like the way the rain water hit my skin and didn't make me feel like a wet stone statue. I am ghost-like in that state, but I can feel somewhat human when I use my powers.

Today was a day that I planned on using my power to its full extent. Why today? Because it's the Cullen's favorite day. Hunting day. I certainly don't feel like joining them. My plant for today is to be in my room and escape like I always do. Emmett stomped into the blinding white living room. "You're going to have to do this at some point." Emmett stated his eyes looked almost feral as he was mentally getting ready to fight off a mountain lion. I gave him my best death glare, but I'm not as threatening as I would like to be. How could I be threating to someone who had the muscles of a bear? I just couldn't. "You're either going to go on a human blood frenzy or starve yourself to death! Pick the better choice and hunt a damn deer! You're going to get us all killed one day!" Rosalie said as she looked like she would murder me right here. Esme and Carlisle's eyes looked at me in sympathy. They treated me like something was wrong with me and that made me nauseous. If I could be sick, I would. "She can decide for herself what she wants. Let her be, but I'm trusting her to make the best choice." He gave me a stern fatherly expression before turning away and grabbing a navy blue coat off of the coat rack like he needs it. Esme put a loving hand on my shoulder before she left. "I'll try to bring something back for you to eat. I'm not letting you starve or find out that you sunk your teeth into an innocent human." Esme was always motherly to me. She was the closest out of all of them to being human. She had compassion and love for everyone, and she is the only one who had the patience to deal with me; I respect her the most.

As they left, I quickly headed to my room, closing the door behind me and lying down on the couch next to my CD player that Edward had gifted to me. I let my body sink down into the couch and I closed my eyes. One...two...three. I counted to myself and concentrated on my power. Soon enough, the usual feeling overcame me. It felt like I was falling, but I knew it well enough to not be scared of it. Focusing on what I could feel in the state that I was in. Mossy covered trees, brown twigs, rocks, lake water. I could feel and see all of it. I walked through the forest just like I used to and it was beautiful. The trees were covered with moss and rain water just as it was that day. The breeze that ran through the forest left chills on my arms as I soaked it all in. The feeling this gave me felt like a dream yet also felt like I was really human and that's what I loved about my powers. It felt so real. Suddenly, the smell of a human threw me off completely. I walked cautiously to the root of the smell, and to my surprise, it was me. It was me on that day. I tried to warn her but I couldn't because she wouldn't hear me. I watched myself trip and saw as the blood ran down my leg in a small trickle, but there was nobody there to bite me. The smell of ran through my nose and rushed through my senses leaving a horrible feeling of insatiable hunger that ran through me. This wasn't like the other times that I drifted. This was different. This was scary. I tried to hold myself back but the restraint that I needed was almost impossible to achieve at his point. The only way was to try to get back. Closing my eyes and focusing on my world. The Cullen's house. Thr cold atmosphere. The classical music that played throughout the house. Focusing on the last miniscule detail of Carlisle and Esme's faces. I was instantly pulled back, surrounded by everyone. "Are you okay, newbie?" Emmett asked. "You've been out for hours." Edward stated. "We tried shaking you out of it, because your emotions were going crazy. You were scared..and hungry. Like ravenous." Jasper explained. I sat up with slight confusion washing over me from the experience that I just had. The blood-thirst that was still running through my veins still burned my throat. It wasn't hard to see what I wanted as they all could see and feel it. "I told you she was hungry." Rosalie said while rolling her beautiful golden eyes. "Here, drink it. I told you I'd bring you something." Esme handed me a bag ofbblood that she somehow collected for me. I took it immediately with no questions and sipped on it hungrily. A small thank you left my lips as I finished. The feeling of hunger was quickly replaced with a feeling of contentment. "All better now right?" Emmett said with a smirk. "Hopefully your mood swings will subside. I was getting tired of leveling them out." Jasper said. "You should've read her mind. That was a horror movie all on its own." Edward chuckled. "Do you need anything else?" Carlsile asked. I thought about asking him about what I just saw, there was not point in keeping secrets anyway. "I saw myself the day that Jasper accidently turned me, but I was the one standing there instead of him. I felt like I had no control." Carlisle instantly went into doctor mode as he listened intently. "I feel like it could be that you used your gift while you were too thirsty. It sounds like it was just a side effect. You need to be more careful." The parental nagging; it felt endearing. "You'll be okay." Carlisle patted my shoulder. "I think we should all give her some space now. Let's go kids." Esme said as she escorted them all out. "I'll check on you later." She said as she lovingly left a kiss on my forehead. I was taken aback by her motherly gesture, but I didn't hate it. I relaxed back down and reached for the on button on the CD player as I let Bach fill the room.

Tag list:

@flamey-0

[reginarubie]

Sneak peek of next chapter of KBF~KBS — TEAM GREEN

So, let's analyze the roots of Team Green in my new story, Kissed by Fire ~ Kissed by Steel (a time travel fic in which Sansa gets transported back at the time of the Dance of Dragons, a couple of years prior Viserys' death, ft. Firesteel — Sansa/Aemond — Sansa & Helaena friendship, etcetera).

As things stand during the Battle of Winterfell, Sansa Stark, lady of Winterfell has been wounded to death in the Godswood and somehow got transported back in time to 126 AC, barely a couple of years before the beginning of the Dance of Dragons, where she has been found by ser Criston Cole and prince Aemond Targaryen starving, almost frozen to death and mortally wounded outside the gates of the Red Keep).

Since the Dance will explode anyway, I'm giving you a resume of the main players by what you already know (keeping out important bits of the fanfic's plot so that it doesn't get too spoilerish)

The Greens

Opposed to the succession to the Iron throne of princess Rhaenyra Targaryen and her natural born sons. The main players of this factions were (with quotes from the next chapter, chapter 4):

Otto Hightower, lord Hand of the King

Grandfather of king Aegon II, queen Helaena and princes Aemond and Daeron Targaryen; he defended strenuously his grandson's claim to the Iron throne as opposed to princess Rhaenyra's.

“Jaehaerys needs to be prepared, sweet one,” he said, his tone carelessly gentle, as he made to touch princess Helaena's hand, but the girl squirmed away, almost violently, from his touch “or he'll be defenseless and we'll have you to thank for it”

The Lord Hand, Otto Hightower, as depicted in a painting still hanging in Oldtown, circa 125 AC.

2. Alicent of House Hightower, Queen Dowager of the Seven Kingdoms.

Mother of king Aegon II, queen Helaena and princes Aemond and Daeron Targaryen; she was the heart and moral compass of the Greens.

“My love,” queen Alicent tried, her voice was sweet and filled with that motherly love Sansa could scarcely remember “let me help you...” yet princess Helaena avoided her touch, consistently ignoring her, by continuing to stitch a red and black spider with eyes as yellow as grain and pupil-less.

Queen Alicent of House Hightower, Queen Dowager of the Seven Kingdoms, as depicted in a painting still decorating the hall of Oldtown; circa 124 AC.

3. King Aegon II of House Targaryen, “rightful” king of the Andals, Rhoynar and First Men.

Firstborn son born from king Viserys II's second marriage with lady Alicent of House Hightower, first son of king Viserys to survive to adulthood, eldest trueborn son of the king.

“Helaena has found an intriguing playmate,” he said, arching a brow and scoffing “who knows maybe she'd willing to be m'playmate as well”

King Aegon, second of his name, king of the Rhoynar, Andals and First Men, Lord Protector of the Realm; as depicted in the painting sent to several lords to inform them of his ascension and remind them of his “right to rule”, wearing all the symbols of legitimacy (the crown of the Conqueror, the ruling chain and depicted inside the Great Sept), circa 129 AC.

4. Helaena of House Targaryen, queen consort of the Seven Kingdoms

Sister-wife to king Aegon II, she was a dragon rider and a dreamer of House Targaryen. Heavily misunderstood, but not for that less loved by her family. Mother of Jaehaerys, Jaehaera and Maelor Targaryen.

“Nine flames of white meet one flame of green,” she lulled as she stroked mindlessly her son's cheek as she rocked him back and forth of the swinging ironwood chair “the fourth ring from the tail rises up, and on and on it goes, its spikes drip blood on whitefield of roses blue”

Queen Helaena Targaryen, sister-queen to Aegon II Targaryen, as depicted in a painting still hanging in Kings Landing; 129 AC.

5. Aemond One-Eye Targaryen, prince of the Seven Kingdoms

Second son born of the marriage between king Viserys II and his second wife, queen Alicent Hightower. Rider of Vhagar, queen of all dragons.

“I may lack one eye, but I lack of no wit. Do not test my patience,”

Prince Aemond One Eye of House Targaryen, as depicted in 128AC; the painting was to be sent to many noble Houses, as his hand was yet free to be given in promise of marriage to help his brother's cause. [The painting never left Kings Landing] It was the prince's choice that his eyepatch was to be on first line, but his scar as hidden as possible to not scare the ladies of the kingdom.

6. Ned Rivers, the Lady Ned, the Lady in Grey, Lady Bat

Also known as the Needle of the Greens, no one knows whence she comes, save that her origins somehow connect her to the Riverlands and perhaps to a small House of landed knights who have not yet distinguished themselves (House Whent); whose banner depicts several bats.

“In my name,” she said almost softly to Jaehaera as the girl looked up at her “my father and my mother are wed”

The Lady Bat, as depicted in the first moons of 130AC, some say by her lover, some say by some unnamed painter who got his eyes' cut out for having dared to presume to capture her beauty on oil and canvas.

6. Guest star, Daeron of House Targaryen, prince of the Seven Kingdoms

Third son of king Viserys and queen Alicent Hightower. Currently squiring in Oldtown.

“My brother, Daeron,” she said “I miss him, he always make me laugh. And can charm anyone, he's a sweet boy. Everyone loves him” somehow that reminded her of Bran.

Daeron the Daring, prince of the Seven Kingdoms, in a painting still hanging in Oldtown, next to his mother and grandfather's; as depicted aged 16.

To come soon the Blacks (queen Rhaenyra Targaryen “rightful” queen, consort Daemon Targaryen, princes Jacaerys and Lucerys Velaryon; lady Baela and Rhaena Targaryen, princess Rhaenys Targaryen and lord Corlys Velaryon).

Also, yes, I know that the first mention of the Whents is during the reign of Maekar, yet, that is the first recorded mention and as House Lothston has to come from somewhere, the same goes for House Whent. So I have them mostly unknown little House of hedge knights of the Riverlands. It is fitting since Sansa's grandmother was Minisa Whent (whose banner spots several bats) and Sansa herself is said to have killed Joff with a spell grown bat-like wings and flown away.

[tessarionbestgirl]

If you could fix S2. How would do it?

Oh boy.

I, look there is so many things I would change about the show.

But, ok, second season only, plot wise. I would have had more locations to the story.

In the show we had, technically 5. Kingslanding, Dragonstone, the Driftmark the Arryn and Harrenhall. But truly there were only 3 relevant ones. I would change that.

For the first 4 episodes I will had Jace and wall 3 episodes focused on him the North, bounding with Cregan and Sarah. Make him seeing the nature of what being a bastad means, show him people making less of him. I would even make Sarah Snow older than Cregan and actually, in this sense, the royal heiress, would add so much in the sweet irony of his life, have to bargain and becomes close with people that have the same mentality of his enemy.

Meanwhile as close he get to Sarah, we saw Baela frustration with her father getting bigger and then receiving news that Jace didn't texted her. In episode 4 Jace cames back, he ignored her over shame and the. her grandma died. But she wouldn't go to Rhaenyra, because one thing I would change was Rhaenyra sending Rhenys, so she would not feel comfort to talking to her. In my drafts for the fix fanfic I had for S2, this scene was one of the first that come in mind.

Alyn walked to the docs at night, and see Baena sit there, he turn around, not wanting to disturb the young princess, but she stop him by making him a question in a defeated voice.

"What was my young mother like?", Alyn turns around and swallows noticing the young princess was looking at him. Baela laughs dryly.

"I know.... My father, my sister and even Jace don't think I understand, just because I don't say, but I always observing, I am always listening, and listed when Rhenys told me years ago Driftmark had a direct male sucessor."

"I don't pretend to hold such responsibility, a man like me.." Baela laughs again, interrupting him.

"The future king, my future husband is a man like you." Alyn is surprised and shocked by her honesty. He doesn't know whether to leave or stay there.

"For the days I only had my mom, my grandmother and my sister." She closes her eyes holding back tears. And open again, there is anger there. " Now I lost them both, 2 by dragon fire, and the other for the Vale."

She pauses and a tear runs down her cheek, Alyn is touched.

"But the worse part, I I barely remember my mother." Alyn sits next to her.

"I don't remember mine either." Both looking at the sea ahead. " But I do remember yours, she had the fire of the dragon on her, it took awhile for her that fire to burn inside her, but when it did, everyone saw how much it shone, you have the same fire on you."

Then after in episode 5 I would have choose to show add another location the Reach, Otto would be captured and they could introduce Daeron here, and show the conflict there because Ryan had the brilliant idea of making kings landing lack of food because of a barricade at sea, but forgot to explain why neither Reach or Stormlands are not sending food into kingslanding and plot would be useful for this, and I would end with Daeron marching.

Then in Kingslanding I would change some things. First I would make Alicent being conflicted about the war, but after Jaehaerys, that would confirmed every fear she had, and that would make her embracing revenge and the desire to make them pay and since the show likes to play this as Rhaenyra vs Alicent I would have make Alicent actually advising Aegon behind the doors, until the battle in which he became a dragon barbecue, now that would male sense for Aemond shut her down and seeing how dangerous he is all the power she lost she goes to the Harrenhall with Healana and met Daemon and Rhaenyra with Cole and the green army to propose to separate the kingdom in half.

For Rhaenyra I would have make her saying " A son for a son." Instead of only "Aemond." Because at least when Daemon and her fight the blame not only would fall on him, and would be a better transition to her character accepting she needs to do bad to win, and you could read her mind going "oh well That was horrible but it suits me, maybe the ends justify the means."

Helaena is other story but all her arc that happened off screen I would make on screen. She realising her visions are a thing, probably through a conversation between her and Aemond where he would say to her he feels sorry for the Jaehaerys' death.

Then she accepting his fate, and meeting Alys in a dream, and probably dreaming with Maelor and having sex with Aegon after he got burn. Because that only would add to the tragedy of her conceiving him because of a vision she had and then he dies. That would drive someone suicidal.

Is that good enough? I don't know but maybe when I was not tired as I am I even write that fanfic.

[simpfordemetri]

Ok same idea with the Cullens(can throw bella into it as well) and one with the Volturi if their Mate (Romantic or Platonic) who believe in the old Gods and Goddess. To see how they react. YN is happy because a Litha/Midsummer [June 20-23] or Mabon [september 23rd] (yn can be human or vampire, you can pick with). I am Pagan and a sabbet is coming up I am happy, I would love to see how they would react. I added what the sabbet is

What is Mabon: Mabon is essentially a harvest festival. Celts and pagans used this day to give thanks to nature or Mother Earth for a good harvest and to pray to their gods and goddesses that the crop would last throughout the winter. There'd be feasting, fires, offerings, and sacrifices. The usual pagan party. Mabon is a pagan holiday, and one of the eight Wiccan sabbats celebrated during the year. Mabon celebrates the autumnal equinox. In the northern hemisphere

Litha/Midsummer

occurs on the summer solstice, and celebrates the beginning of summer. The traditions of Litha appear to be borrowed from many cultures. Most ancient cultures celebrated the summer solstice in some way. The Celts celebrated Litha with hilltop bonfires and dancing

Sorry if I made you uncomfortable and if you didn't want to i understand.

Hi love,before you read the hc I want to apologizes cause I'm atheist and I don't know much about different religions.So sorry if this it's not what you were looking for,I tried my best<3

Thanks for explaining!!

Demetri

-I think he also believes in different gods

-Would find so interesting your religion

-Wants to share opinions with you

Felix

-He goes to the festivals with you

-Loves when you explain everything about what you believe in cause he wants to know everything

Jane & Alec

-I think Jane and Alec are both atheist

-After everything that happened when they were human

-So they don't believe in anything

-But of course they respect you and go with you to all the festivals and listen to you

-Loves seeing you happy

The Cullen's

Edward

-He is Catholic

-And he is so loyal to his religion

-Yk he wanted to marry Bella before having sex

-However,he would respect it,but sometimes he tries to make you change your believes

-Cause he is dumb(sorry I don't like him sm)

Esme

-Idk if she is religious??

-But she is so supportive

-Would absolutely love to go to all the festivals

-This women respect everything

-Team Esme

Carlisle

-I think he is Catholic too

-But he is a respectful man

-You two share opinions

-Always with respect

Bella

-I don't think she believes in anything

-Sometimes it can seems like she doesn't care but she of course hears you and respect you

Rosalie

-Also think is atheist

-Religion make her remember her past

-But of course supportive

Jasper

-Im not sure about his religion

-But can feel how happy you are feeling about it

-Tries to take you to all the festivals

Alice

-Already knew you want to go to them

-Goes with you

-Team Alice my girl

-Supportive

Again,sorry if this is not what you were looking for,honestly I have a religion trauma so I didn't know what to write exactly,but I tried <33

[butteerfly]

— Dating haikyuu!! boys ♡

headcanons 🦋

this was really difficult because in haikyuu all the boys are characters that you can't help but love, at least it's like that for me. So choosing a few was quite a challenge, anyway if you want a specific character that I didn't mention let me know ♡♡♡

kageyama tobio; tsukishima kei; nishinoya yuu; kozume kenma; ushijima wakatoshi (my boys) — fem!!reader

KAGEYAMA TOBIO

(I'm so in love with this pretty boy)

he is very sweet with you

The best part is that he doesn't realize this

Contrary to common thought, I think tobio is an excellent boyfriend

He always makes sure you get home safely after school, even ask the coach for a few minutes to say goodbye to you (I'm just crying as I imagine this)

You can't spend a lot of time together after school because he has his practices, but he always makes sure you sit next to him in class and have lunch with him.

always has your favorite strawberry milk in his backpack, just for you

He doesn't want you to go to practice because he's secretly a little jealous and he knows that as soon as they see you, Noya and Hinata are going to jUMp at you

The kind of boyfriend your parents love and yet he still gets nervous when he's with them

definitely bad for cuddles

He doesn't know how to hug or kiss you, he doesn't know if that's going to be okay for you or if you're uncomfortable, he never had a girlfriend before you

You always tell him what to do but it doesn't matter, he always blushes after all

forehead kisses are his favorites

He loves when his head rests on your lap and you play with his hair, he instantly relaxes

When you go to see him at one of the matches, his smile and blush never fade.

He loves to see the sparkle in your eyes when he sets the ball for the spiker

and when is he going to serve...

he knows that you know that's a direct point

You raise his ego a lot, it is inevitable 😔💕

You simply give him unshakable strength when he is more demoralized than normal.

always hugs you after a match, it doesn't matter if he lost or won, the others don't matter, only you in his arms

TSUKISHIMA KEI

dating him is amazingly fun

You are the couple that always teases each other in some way and is not bothered by this

Since you know each other you never stop laughing together and this is something he is aware of, he appreciates you very much despite not showing it so often

ok but no matter what your height is, he always teases you

The fact that your hands don't even cross behind his neck makes him laugh a lot

he's actually good for cuddles

He's the type of boy who always has a smirk on his face before kissing you

hands on your waist every time he hugs you

when i said he was good for cuddles i meant cuddles in the privacy of his room

because if you hug him or kiss him in front of the team or his family he BLUSHES

spoiler alert!!: you do it on purpose

if you wear his hoddies with dinosaurs he will die

He made a playlist with songs that remind him of you and songs that are important to both of you, but he named it "ant" because according to him, you are similar to them, small and insignificant 💀

he's good at killing romance

Despite that, he is the person who listens to you the most and pays attention to details.

When he sees you cheering for the team with one of his shirts he can't help but be a bit surprised, even though he doesn't want to accept it, you know that volleyball is important to your boyfriend

At first he is a bit distracted, but after thinking more clearly his blocks become the strongest iron wall

his favorite moment with you is in the afternoons when you both return home from school with the sunset in the distance and he holds your hand tight

You give him the peace of mind that he sometimes needs when his thoughts don't leave him alone.

NISHINOYA YUU

please let's talk about this man

he can't believe you love him

you are too perfect

you are his pretty girl

HIS pretty girl

whenever he thinks about it he CRIES

he takes you to practices and matches just so everyone knows he has a girlfriend, a very beautiful one

whatever you do (art, writing, sport, acting, singing, etc) he is very proud of you

dating Nishinoya is actually an adventure

he is a very effusive person and never stays in his comfort zone

he will try to do whatever he likes and catches his attention, nobody can stop him

This also applies to you

your dates are weird

he invited you to his house just to cook and taste sour food -u both almost set the house on fire-

he took you to TOKYO just to go to Alice in Wonderland's cafe

You still remember the day you asked him for your notebook and he handed you his backpack, but when you opened it, many bags full of gummies came out everywhere

you don't know what to expect from this boy and that's why you love him

he is a very loving person by nature

his hands will always be on your waist, always wants to feel you close

the warmth in his chest that you make him feel no one else does

he loves when you kiss him surprisingly, he will follow the kiss immediately

even when all he wants to do is rest, he lets you sleep on top of him

when you call him super libero he really feels like one, even if he is very tired

you are one of the biggest pillars of his motivation and the best person he could meet ♡

KOZUME KENMA

Before dating, he was very shy with you and could never talk to you if Kuro was not with you

not because he didn't want to, the words got a lot on his tongue and he didn't know what to do in front of you

kuro clearly helped this boy

you had to confess first but that doesn't really matter because from that day on you are both very happy

You don't know how to explain it, but you both have a strange telepathy, you always know what the other is thinking or going to say.

You can't lie to him, he always ends up finding out

your dates are in the arcades and buying a lot of rare KitKat to test them with Kuro

and you only have dates when you make sure you have all your homework done because sometimes you forget about school 💀

you always try new dyes in your hair and he always helps you

he knows that you don't do it to like him

however he likes you a lot no matter what you do

you are the only person with whom he seeks physical contact very often

He doesn't know why but kissing you always feels very good for him

when he kisses you, his whole body relaxes

kisses you whenever he can

love to see the blush on your face

you love when your boyfriend talks to you about a new game, he looks so excited it makes your heart melt

If you are not very good at playing a video game he will help you without hesitation

you can never beat him, after all he taught you

you guys always end up playing until 8 in the morning on weekends, please get some sleep 💀

He loves when you sit on his lap and he can cross his arms around your waist, he would stay there all day because there is no more calm and peace than that moment

USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI

he is a big teddy bear

whenever he can and has time, he listens to you carefully

Every time he doesn't understand something you say to him, he will ask Tendo with genuine confusion in his voice.

You are one of the few people that he really pays attention to and cares

he is not good at interpreting the feelings of others and the way he does not understand everyday things between your friends makes you laugh

he is a big baby

you are his wallpaper

Whenever he hugs you from behind, he leans his chin on your head, he saw it in other couples and he found it cute

He loves to see you with his shirts because they fit you better than him

He is struck by the way you dress, he says it is very striking and cute

The kind of boyfriend who would take you out to eat at restaurants

always makes sure you eat really well and exercise because he says the body needs it, even if he is away

The best thing about dating him is that he does not feel embarrased if you kiss or hug him in front of someone, he does not care what others think at all

He feels embarrased of the fact that he always thinks about kissing you, and that never happened to him with anyone

He does not think about it too much either, if he wants to kiss you, you want to and you are at the right time, he will simply do it

No matter what your personality is, he is attracted to you, he always says things that he never thought he would say to someone who is not Tendo

The truth is that you are as important to him as volleyball, and when you go to see him at matches without notifying him, he just freezes for a second.

Your stuning smile and the euphoria on your face makes his whole body go beyond his capabilities, he feels unstoppable when you are there smiling for him

He does not understand much even about his own feelings, but the hours after the game, when you are next to his tired body, lightly caressing his face, make him feel very happy.

🦋🦋🦋

well ... I didn't like this headcanon so much, but I didn't hate it either, I hope you like it more than I do ;)

[doityourselfbombs]

S1E3 Body Double

or: all the out of pocket shit that happens in riverdale part 3

I forgot I was doing this for a hot minute. not to worry, I'm back on my bullshit with a new format.

click the links to see screenshots from the episode :)

find other episodes here xx

PLOT

Cheryl explains to the police that Jason wanted to leave Riverdale, so he asked Cheryl to help him stage an accident so their parents wouldn't go after him. He was supposed to call her after he left town, but she never heard from him again. Cheryl also says they heard a gunshot but didn't know what it was.

Betty asks her mother to stop writing clickbait articles about Jason's death. more on that later.

Archie finally tells the police he was at the river on July 4th, but says he was alone.

Betty wants to reboot the school newspaper and asks Jughead to join. Jughead acts like Betty is trying stifle his voice by checking his grammar and making sure he doesn't commit one of the seven deadly sins of journalism.

Veronica goes on a date with football player Chuck, who posts a photo of the two of them the next day claiming he gave her a "sticky maple". I don't want to know what that means and I'm kind of mad I ever had to hear the phrase. naturally this is an opportunity for more heavy handed feminist messaging.

Ms Grundy is back on her toxic groomer bullshit! nothing important just thought you should know that's still happening.

Cheryl gets the Pussycats to take Archie on as a student because she owes him a favor.

Veronica gets some honestly very funny hate comments, including one from the character Tony Topaz, who would not appear on the show for another season.

anyway it turns out what happened to Veronica is a fairly common occurrence for girls in Riverdale, and Betty wants to write an article about it. also apparently the football players have a playbook where they keep track of everyone they've hooked up with and how many points each girl was worth.

I hate this forced messaging but unfortunately it is important to the plot later on.

Jughead finds out that the gunshot came from the adventure scouts doing illegal target practice. also apparently the head adventure scout is preparing for the apocalypse??

the gang finds Betty's sister Polly in the playbook next to Jason's name.

the majority of the music segments from this episode come from the Pussycats/Josie, which is a nice change of pace because they all have beautiful voices and are genuinely very talented.

also, remember how the Pussycats have been wearing cat ears at school to "build their brand"? well apparently they forgot about that.

there's a really awkward covergirl product placement about halfway through the episode.

remember how I mentioned that Betty asked her mother to stop writing sensational clickbait articles abt Jason? Alice did not stop and gets punched in the face by Mrs Blossom at a party. it's what she deserves.

Alice also spends a good portion of this episode gossiping about 16 year olds. does she not have any other hobbies???

meanwhile, Betty has taken it upon herself to "punish" Chuck, which for some reason involves homemade dominatrix cosplay and a bad wig. reminder that this character is sixteen.

anyway she handcuffs him in a hot tub and tries to drown him a little bit. this is the beginning of "dark Betty", the alter ego Betty sometimes takes on. I'm getting a degree in psychology and I cannot explain this.

after the article about Chuck comes out and he's kicked off the football team, Cheryl and Betty set the playbook on fire. Cheryl says she's sorry for what Jason did to Polly.

the evil adventure scout tells Betty and Jughead that he saw Ms. Grundy's car at the river on July 4th.

notable character moments:

Betty keeps calling Jughead "Juggy", and now that I think about it that's only slightly worse than his actual name.

Archie yells "sorry I'm not perfect!" at his dad in one scene.

Veronica shoves Kevin into a locker for dramatic effect while giving a speech.

Jughead crouches in a restaurant booth like a gargoyle (or a bisexual). he's trying to look threatening and it does not work.

Josie tries to gatekeep the concept of music with Archie (and she's kind of right).

best quotes of the episode:

"I will cut the breaks on his souped-up phallic symbol".

"that high-toned bitch attitude may have worked on the betas you dated in new york, but you're in bulldog territory" (cue football players barking)

"thanks to you, Archie, I'm not the girl who cried gunshot"

"proof or no proof, book or no book, I'm going scorched earth on these privileged, despicable miscreants".

"I'd love to stay, but I've gotta shake down an evil adventure scout". (I unironically think this line is funny)