#and AGAIN to be FAIR the piece i wrote waS boring but i dont need that sort of talk on a monday morning

[consultingsister-a5]

today one of my clients described my writing as “cursory, dull, and with nothing at all to spark anyone’s interest” and im just wondering how long i can wait until i make that my insta bio 

[shkspr]

hi. on your post where you may or may not have ended on 'moffat is either your angel or your devil' did you have maybe an elaboration on that somewhere that i could possibly hear about. i'm very much a capaldi era stan and i've never tried to defend the matt smith era even though it had delightful moments sometimes so i wonder where that puts me. i'd love to hear your perspective on moffat as a person with your political perspective. -nicole

hi ok sorry i took so long to respond to this but i dont think you know how LOADED this question is for me but i am so happy to elaborate on that for you. first a few grains of salt to flavor your understanding of the whole situation: a. im unfairly biased against moffat bc im a davies stan and a tennant stan; b. i still very much enjoy and appreciate moffat era who for many reasons; and c. i hate moffat on a personal level far more than i could ever hate his work.

the thing is that its all always gonna be a bit mixed up bc i have to say a bunch of seemingly contradictory things in a row. for instance, a few moffat episodes are some of my absolute favorites of the rtd era, AND the show went way downhill when moffat took over, AND the really good episodes he wrote during the rtd era contained the seeds of his destruction.

like i made that post about the empty child/the doctor dances and it holds true for blink and thats about it bc the girl in the fireplace and silence in the library/forest of the dead are good but not nearly on the same level, and despite the fact that i like them at least nominally, they are also great examples of everything i hate about moffat and how he approached dw as a whole.

basically. doctor who is about people. there are many things about moffats tenure as showrunner that i think are a step up from rtd era who! actual gay people, for one! but i think that can likely be attributed mostly to an evolving Society as opposed to something inherent to him and his work, seeing as rtd is literally gay, and the existence of queer characters in moffats work doesnt mean the existence of good queer characters (ill give him bill but thats it!)

i have a few Primary Grievances with moffat and how he ran dw. all of them are things that got better with capaldi, but didnt go away. they are as follows:

moffat projects his own god complex onto the doctor

rtd era who had a doctor with a god complex. you cant ever be the doctor and not have a god complex. the problem with moffats era specifically is that the god complex was constant and unrepentant and was seen as a fundamental personality trait of the doctor rather than a demon he has to fight. he has the Momence where you feel bad for him, the Momence where he shows his humility or whatever and youre reminded that he doesnt want to be the lonely god, but those are just. moments. in a story where the doctor thinks hes the main character. rtd era doctor was aware that he wasnt the main character. he had to be an authority sometimes and he had to be the loner and he had to be sad about it, but he ultimately understood that he was expendable in a narrative sense.

this is how you get lines like “were the thin fat gay married anglican marines, why would we need names as well?” from the same show that gave you the gut punch moment at the end of midnight when they realize that nobody asked the hostess for her name. and on the one hand, thats a small sticking point, but on the other hand, its just one small example of the simple disregard that moffat has for humanity.

incidentally, this is a huge part of why sherlock sucked so bad: moffats main characters are special bc theyre so much bigger and better than all the normal people, and thats his downfall as a showrunner. he thinks that his audience wants fucking sheldon cooper when what they want is people.

like, ok. think of how many fantastic rtd era eps are based in the scenario “what if the doctor wasnt there? what if he was just out of commission for a bit?” and how those eps are the heart of the show!! bc theyre about people being people!! the thing is that all of the rtd era companions would have died for the doctor but he understood and the story understood that it wasnt about him.

this is like. nine sending rose home to save her life and sacrifice his own vs clara literally metaphysically entwining her existence w the doctor. ten also sending rose with her family to save her life vs river being raised from infancy to be obsessed w the doctor and then falling in love w him. martha leaving bc she values herself enough to make that decision vs amy being treated like a piece of meat.

and this is simultaneously a great callback to when i said that moffats episodes during the rtd era sometimes had the same problems as his show running (bc girl in the fireplace reeks of this), and a great segue into the next grievance.

moffat hates women

he hates women so fucking much. g-d, does steven moffat ever hate women. holy shit, he hates women. especially normal human women who prioritize their normal human lives on an equal or higher level than the doctor. moffat hated rose bc she wasnt special by his standards. the empty child/the doctor dances is the nicest he ever treated her, and she really didnt do much in those eps beyond a fuck ton of flirting.

girl in the fireplace is another shining example of this. youve got rose (who once again has another man to keep her busy, bc moffat doesnt think shes good enough for the doctor) sidelined for no reason only to be saved by the doctor at the last second or whatever. and then youve got reinette, who is pretty and powerful and special!

its just. moffat thinks that the doctor is as shallow and selfish as he is. thats why he thinks the doctor would stay in one place with reinette and not with rose. bc moffat is shallow and sees himself in the doctor and doesnt think he should have to settle for someone boring and normal.

not to mention rose met the doctor as an adult and chose to stay with him whereas reinette is. hm. introduced to the doctor as a child and grows up obsessed with him.

does that sound familiar? it should! bc it is also true of amy and river. and all of them are treated as viable romantic pairings. bc the only women who deserve the doctor are the ones whose entire existence revolves around him. which includes clara as well.

genuinely i think that at least on some level, not even necessarily consciously, that bill was a lesbian in part bc capaldi was too old to appeal to mainstream shippers. like twelve/clara is still a thing but not as universally appealing as eleven/clara but i am just spitballing. but i think they weighed the pros and cons of appealing to the woke crowd over the het shippers and found that gay companion was more profitable. anyway the point is to segue into the next point, which is that moffat hates permanent consequences.

moffat hates permanent consequences

steven moffat does not know how to kill a character. honestly it feels like hes doing it on purpose after a certain point, like he knows he has this habit and hes trying to riff on it to meme his own shit, but it doesnt work. it isnt funny and it isnt harmless, its bad writing.

the end of the doctor dances is so poignant and so meaningful and so fucking good bc its just this once! everybody lives, just this once! and then he does p much the same thing in forest of the dead - this one i could forgive, bc i do think that preserving those peoples consciousnesses did something for the doctor as a character, it wasnt completely meaningless. but everything after that kinda was.

rory died so many times its like. get a hobby lol. amy died at least once iirc but it was all a dream or something. clara died and was erased from the doctors memory. river was in prison and also died. bill? died. all of them sugarcoated or undone or ignored by the narrative to the point of having effectively no impact on the story. the point of a major character death is that its supposed to have a point. and you could argue that a piece of art could be making a point with a pointless death, ie. to put perspective on it and remind you that bad shit just happens, but with moffat the underlying message is always “i can do whatever i want, nothing is permanent or has lasting impact ever.”

basically, with moffat, tragedy exists to be undone. and this was a really brilliant, really wonderful thing in the doctor dances specifically bc it was the doctor clearly having seen his fair share of tragedy that couldnt be helped, now looking on his One Win with pride and delight bc he doesnt get wins like this! and then moffat proceeded to give him the same win over and over and over and over. nobody is ever dead. nobody is ever unable to be saved. and if they are, really truly dead and/or gone, then thats okay bc moffat has decided that [insert mitigating factor here]*

*the mitigating factor is usually some sort of computerized database of souls.

i can hear the moffat stans falling over themselves to remind me that amy and rory definitely died, and they did - after a long and happy life together, they died of old age. i dont consider that a character death any more than any other character choosing to permanently leave the tardis.

and its not just character deaths either, its like, everything. the destruction of gallifrey? never mind lol! character development? scrapped! the same episode four times? lets give it a fifth try and hope nobody notices. bc he doesnt know how to not make the doctor either an omnipotent savior or a self-pitying failure.

it is in nature of doctor who, i believe, for the doctor to win most of the time. like, it wouldnt be a very good show if he didnt win most of the time. but it also wouldnt be a very good show if he won all of the time. my point is that moffats doctor wins too often, and when he doesnt win, it feels empty and hollow rather than genuinely humbling, and you know hes not gonna grow from it pretty much at all.

so like. again, i like all of doctor who i enjoy all of it very much. i just think that steven moffat is a bad show runner and a decent writer at times. and it is frustrating. and im not here to convince or convert anyone im just living my truth. thank you for listening.

[baroquebucky]

symphony

in which bucky realizes the light you’ve brought into his life

word count: 2.3k of pure fluff

masterlist

a/n: hi bffs !! hope u all enjoy this fluff as reparations for the amount of angst I’ve been writing <333 let me know what you guys think !! inspired by this song :] sorry for any typos !!

Life felt monotonous for bucky. Everyday he would wake up, go for a walk, sometimes go out for dinner with his neighbor other times he would just stay in. Then he would go to therapy, suffer there for a while before coming back and doing nothing. Throughout the week he would go to the compound or the gym and train to get his mind off things.

“I just feel like I’m stuck in a loop and i can’t get out of it, it’s like a boring song that everyone’s playing on repreat” bucky grumbled, sam nodded, listening to bucky as he vented.

“i think you need something new in your life, something to spice it up” Sam spoke gently, thinking for a bit before a smile appeared on his face, “i know just the thing!” He cheered.

“how is coffee gonna help me” bucky huffed, sam just rolled his eyes, dragging the super soldier along to his favorite coffee shop.

“no trust me, this coffee is amazing, they have all these other drinks too and the person who always takes my order is amazing” Sam cheered, a smile on his face as he rounded the corner and saw you through the glass.

“that’s them!” He smiled, turning to look at bucky, he stopped in his tracks.

“you aren’t trying to set me up on a date right now, right?” Bucky looked at Sam wide eyed and he rolled his eyes, shaking his head and grabbing Buckys wrist.

“if this was a date i would’ve made you dress better” Sam shot back, bucky frowned looking down at his clothes. What was so wrong with his clothes?

“this is my favorite jacket” bucky pouted and Sam rolled his eyes, as the door opened a small chime went off.

“good evening sam!” You called out, a bright smile on your face as you finished taking someone’s order. Sam and Bucky stood in line, waiting only a couple minutes before you helped them.

“your usual?” you beamed and Sam smiled, you wrote it down quickly, turning to bucky with a smile, “what can i get for you?” Bucky blushed a bit, avoiding eye contact with you and glancing at the menu.

“i- well uh i don’t know actually” bucky hesitated, sam cringed at his friend, elbowing him slightly.

“what do you recommend?” he asked quickly, and you turned to look down at the menu as if you didn’t have it memorized.

“hmm, well i really the special we have right now, if you’re not into sweet then i recommend that one” you pointed out with your pen a smile still on your face.

“whatever your favorite is” He spoke, heart beating in his chest as the words tumbled out. You felt your face heat up at his words, nodding quickly. Bucky paid and went to go sit next to Sam, ears red and face hot.

Sam simply chuckled at him, waiting patiently for you to call out their order numbers. Bucky kept glancing up, stealing glances at you and marveling at how pretty you were. The way you moved so easily and kept a smile on your face anytime someone looked your way.

Buckys heart sunk a bit. He wished he could be like that, all smiles and rainbows, like the way he used to be. He thought about how brooding he was and the way sam always commented on the way he stared too much. He tore his eyes away from you and focused on the decoration in the cafe.

“57 and 58!” You called out, setting the drinks on the counter looking out for Sam and bucky, smiling when you saw the two men getting up and walking towards you.

“thank you y/n!” Sam smiled and you nodded, eyes moving to bucky, he gave you a tight lipped smile before walking out. “that wasn’t so bad was it” Sam smirked and bucky rolled his eyes, taking a sip of his drink.

“oh wow this is really good” bucky mumbled, drinking some more and furrowing his brows, sam smiled at him, nodding in agreement.

The two men returned a couple times every week, you smiling at them and saying hello, giving bucky a new drink to try every time he came. The two of you stealing glances anytime you looked over while making the drink, heart rate spiking when your eyes met.

Bucky was giddy to see you, wondering what you would give him today. Sam frowned when your coworker greeted them instead of you.

“wheres y/n?” Sam asked, you coworker frowned at the mention of you before replying.

“oh they quit, our boss kept giving them shit” she sighed, “between you and i, they only stayed this long because you guys kept coming back” she smiled, her eyes moving to bucky, “specially you.”

As the two men were leaving your coworker called out for them, handing them a piece of paper. “she told me to give you guys this, have a good day!”

They looked at each other before unrolling the paper, you handwriting on it along with your phone number.

“text me when you want bird boy” Sam read, laughing a little, he turned to bucky, craning his neck to read his, “what’s your say” Bucky had a bashful smile on his face.

“oh just to text them whenever” bucky cleared his throat, shoving the piece of paper in his pocket.

i really hope we can hang out properly soon :) the paper read, scribbled under was a list of drinks you wanted him to try. Buckys heart fluttered at the action, the whole time he was with Sam you were the only thing he was thinking about.

When he finally got back to his apartment bucky texted you, heart racing as he sent the text.

hi it’s bucky, i got your note let me know when you’re free :-)

Your heart jumped at the message, the biggest smile on your face as you read the text over again, giggling as you replied.

hi buck!! I’m free this weekend actually :]

The two of you made plans quickly, excited for a proper date and not just stealing glances and making small talk when he ordered his drink or picked it up from the counter.

When Saturday evening came bucky was frantic, texting sam and asking what clothes he should wear, recalling the time he made fun of his clothes before he met you the first time.

You were nervous as you got ready, hands shaking slightly as you changed into some nice clothing. You checked yourself out in the mirror and smiled, fixing your hair a bit.

The doorbell rang and you jumped, heart racing as you walked to the door, opening it with a smile.

Bucky stood there with roses in his hands, a bright smile on his face. He chocked on his breath a little as he took you in, it was the first time he’d seen you out of uniform and god you were perfect.

“oh thank you!” You blushed, smiling as you took the flowers from him, “come in I’ll just put these in water” you smiled, letting him in and quickly moving to put the flowers in a vase.

Your apartment was so comforting, bucky felt like he was safe there, he felt so at peace despite his heart racing in his chest.

“ready?” You asked and bucky smiled, he could hear the way your heart raced after you not so secretly checked him out. He was wearing a dark blue t shirt and a leather jacket along with some black pants.

“so where are we going?” You questioned and bucky smiled, turning to look at you nervously before focusing on the road again.

“is the fair okay? I know there’s one in town and I’ve been wanting to go but-” he rambled and you cut him off excitedly.

“i love the fair! I’m really good at those shooting games y’know” you bragged and bucky smiled, excited to see how skilled you were. “however i will not compete against you” you added quickly, making bucky frown.

“too scared I’ll beat you doll?” Bucky smirked and your heart raced at the nickname, your comeback dying on your lips. Bucky smiled as you sat there with your mouth open, looking away quickly before changing the subject.

As the two of you arrived bucky immediately knew he made the right choice, the way you had the widest smile on your face as you pointed everything out to him, eyes wide as you saw the giant dinosaur plush.

“you have a metal arm dont you?” You whispered and bucky smiled, nodding his head. “would it be, i don’t know, immoral for you to use it to get that dinosaur plush?” You blushed, giggling as bucky gasped at you.

“i cant believe you!” He teased and you frowned, bucky smiled at you, taking your hand in his and walking towards the game. He handed the man the tickets to play and held the heavy ball in his hands.

“you just have to knock all three cups over” the man spoke and bucky nodded, placing the ball in his right hand before throwing it, easily knocking the cups down.

“yay!” You cheered, running next to bucky and hugging him, the man handed you the giant plush and you smiled, staring at bucky with starry eyes.

“didn’t even use your metal arms sergeant” you teased and Buckys heart lurched at the titles. His heart was in frenzy as you smirked up at him.

“I’m a super soldier doll” he smiled at your face turned into one of realization, nodding your head.

“right, i forgot about that” you mumbled, struggling to keep the dinosaur plush from touching the ground, bucky smiled at you before he took it from your hands, easily tucking it under his arm.

“thanks” you blushed and bucky nodded, a smile on his face as he replied.

“cant have my best girl struggling on our first date can we” you blushed at his words, looking at him with a bright smile.

“first? as in more to come?” You questioned, a smile on your face as you stopped in your tracks, the lights from some ride illuminating your face in reds and pinks. Bucky nodded, suddenly his confidence was sizzling away.

“I mean unless you don’t want to that’s fine too i just- i mean” bucky rambled and you watched him struggle for a bit, biting your bottom lip before stopping him.

“I’d love to go on more dates” you spoke up, bucky smiled at you, letting out a small breath, “now let’s go to the Ferris wheel!” You easily slipping your hand in his.

Everything felt so easy with bucky, it never felt forced. The two of you constantly texting and calling when you weren’t together and grabbing dinner and going on dates more and more often. It was only a matter of time before bucky asked you out, everything falling into place for the two of you.

The two of you were in bed, you were cuddled up into his side as you watched a documentary on some lions. Bucky ran his fingers through your hair and you sighed, relaxing into his touch. It had been almost two years since the two of you went on your first date, but to bucky it felt like yesterday.

“you know i love you, right doll” he spoke suddenly and you looked at him, confused before nodding.

“i love you too loverboy” you replied, sitting up and kissing his cheek.

“don’t know where I’d be without you” he spoke softly, his blue eyes meeting yours, he smiled softly. “I used to think i was broken and no one would want me” he mumbled and you frowned, letting him continue.

“the only reason sam took me to that cafe was because i was stuck in this loop and i was going crazy” he laughed softly, “i thought i was never gonna get out of this funk but then” he stopped.

You looked at him, confused as he smiled at you, peppering kissing all over your face before caressing your cheek and kissing your forehead.

“then what?” You whispered, a smile on your face when you realized what he was going to say.

“then you came along” he replied, smiling at the way you wiggled to face him.

“you took me and you made me into a better person, you made my life so much better and now it’s like there’s a symphony playing anytime in with you” he spoke, a smile on his face when you reached your hand out and ran your fingers through his hair. You stopped your hand at the nape of his neck, pushing him towards you and crashing your lips onto his.

It was sloppy and passionate, but it was sweet. The two of you smiling into the kiss before giving him one last peck and pulling away.

“oh lovebug, that songs always been inside you, just needed a little tuning to get it right” you replied, taking him into your arms as he laid down on your chest.

For once, bucky was grateful sam had forced him to go out, he was grateful that you were working that day and you recommend him a drink. He was grateful that you went to the fair with him and you liked him enough to go on another date.

Bucky no longer wished to be like you, he didn’t long for the person he was in the 40s. He didn’t wish he could change into someone else anymore.

He didn’t because he was more himself than he had ever been. He was happy and he was at peace, he was who he had always wanted to become. He didn’t feel like he was stuck in the shadows in a constant loop.

Bucky smiled as you placed a gentle kiss on top of his head, mumbling a soft ‘i love you.’

Bucky felt happy, he felt at home and he felt in love. He was finally at peace with his life now that you were in it. You helped him become who he was, pushed him to be better and to change into who he wanted to be.

[snifflesclifford]

Waiting for the Right Girl - Chris Evans

A/N: (this is for the anon who wanted friends to lovers) Hi this is the first fic i have wrote in over 3 years so be nice. Please let me know if you want a part 2! 

It was raining cats and dogs outside and there were no signs of stopping. The weather channel played softly in the background as you made your way to the kitchen to get another bottle of wine. You decided what was the harm since there was no way you would be driving home anytime soon in this weather. Chris had invited a bunch of friends over to his new house for a house warming party. You think it was more of an excuse to get help putting together the massive shelf he bought the day before but any excuse for free booze and you were there. The others luckily left before the storm hit, but you didn't mind. Chris’ house was more than accommodating for the two of you and it was a great opportunity for you two to catch up since he had been out of town on a shoot. 

You opened the door to the wine closet and stepped inside.  White or red? Chris would want white but the red paired better with the box of cheese-its you had been devouring. Red. You reached for the least expensive looking bottle and read the label, just as you thought, still expensive. Did he not have Boone’s Farm? 

“Hey, did you find one?” Chris practically yelled right behind you. You let out a yelp and dropped the probably more money than your car payment bottle and it shattered, splattering red everywhere . 

“What the fuck, how are you so big but so stealthy?” You ask clutching your chest. Chris bursts out laughing and you follow suit. 

“I’m sorry, its not my fault that you are literally the jumpiest person ever” He bends down to pick up the large pieces of glass and you try to help but he stops you. “Nah ah, I think you’ve done enough clutz,” he teases “why don't you go take a shower? You look like you’ve murdered at least four people. Help yourself to anything in the dresser.” 

You wanted to protest but a hot shower sounded pretty nice with the rainy weather so you agreed and tip-toed around the wine and headed upstairs to find the bathroom. It took longer than you would like to admit to get the shower to work but were you glad you did. It was literally the best shower you had ever stepped foot into. The second the hot water hit you all the tension you didn't even know you had went away. It was like taking a shower in the rainforest. You sighed as you smelled the body wash he had. Of course it would be perfect, everything about Chris is perfect. You took your time, not wanting the warmth to end. 

Eventually the water went cold, so you made your way out of the shower and looked around for what you could only assume was a fluffy warm cloud of a towel, only to find nothing. No towels. Shit. You popped your head out of the bathroom and looked around Chris’ monster sized bedroom. Once you saw the coast was clear, you darted out of the room and went to the dresser in search of something to cover your soaking body. But it was too late because just as you picked out an oversized shirt, Chris came barreling into the room holding a towel. You were frozen. You had nothing to shield you from this horror and Chris looked as though he had seen a ghost. 

“Um, can i have that?” You asked pointing to the gray towel in his hand. 

“Oh fuck, yeah, um. i realized I didn’t have any in the- here” His face turned a deep shade of scarlet as he held it out to you. 

His eyes dart down to your naked frame and you blush internally. You wrap the towel around yourself and stand there waiting for anything to happen. Literally anything. Chris was still beet red but you can see a noticeable bulge formed in his pants. He follows your eyes and immediately starts sputtering out what he thinks are words. 

“I- I mean, we. Um, you. I made some cookies. if you, they're chocolate chip. i’ll be, um downstairs. You can get dressed, shit. Sorry.” and with that he closes the door and you let out a breath you didn't know you were holding. What the fuck was that? You thought to yourself as you sat at the foot of his king sized bed. 

You had known Chris for two years, you were an intern at Fox while they filmed Gifted and you always had to fetch coffee and get him from his trailer. He asked you to help him run lines and you confessed that you always wanted to be an actor. The next day he brought you a coffee and said he dropped your name at a local theatre and that you had an audition on Tuesday. The rest was history. You had hung out almost every week for awhile helping each other rehearse or playing matchmaker to each others sad love lives. Then it turned into a few times a month when your schedules started to get more busy. It had been two months since the last time you had seen each other and here you were naked on his bed. 

You would be lying if you hadn’t thought about being naked on his bed, but that was just a fantasy. You were never single at the same time and you never really thought he saw you in that way. Did he see you that way? His body seemed to think of you in that way. You tossed those thoughts to the back of your mind as you got dressed and slowly made your way downstairs. 

You heard dishes clattering and a small curse come from the kitchen. Chris was still whispering to himself when you rounded the corner and saw him hovering over a plate full of cookies one in his hand and other hanging out of his mouth. 

“This would have never happened if you just put a new fucking towel in the bathroom, Evans. It’s a simple thing to do.” you could make out from his cookie filled mouth. 

“Hey” you make your presence known and his head shoots up. 

“Hey! Did you find everything okay?” 

“Uh, yeah! I mean apart from the whole towel thing.” you smile and take a seat at the island. 

“Yeah sorry again about that. Did i say sorry already? I’m sorry. Like really sorry.” He scratches the back of his neck and you can't help but notice the way the fabric of his crew neck stretches over his bicep. 

“Its really fine. It’s funny actually. I think it was funny.” You assure him and snag the cookie from his grip and he looks at you hurt. 

“That one was mine!”

“Yeah but it looks like the best one.” you take a big bite and he cracks smile. 

“You're something else.” he murmurs under his breath. “I’ll be right back.”

He walks into the living room and returns with a bottle of scotch and two glasses. You cock your eyebrow at him and he shrugs. 

“ I don't know about you but i need a drink.” he says as he pours two generous glasses and slides one your way. You down it in one swing and hiss at the burn. Scotch wasn't something you usually drank but it was a welcome change to all the wine you drank before. Chris adds a little more to your glass and takes a seat on the counter next to you. 

“So, what's new?” he casually asks and takes a sip, his eyes peering at you over his glass. You sighed at the question. Small talk wasnt really your thing. 

“Well, work has been slow. Not a lot of theatre companies looking for someone like this” you gesture to yourself and he scoffs. 

“What are you talking about? Have you seen yourself? Its their loss.” he doesn't meet your eyes and you're glad because he would see your blushing red cheeks. 

“Well either way auditions don’t pay bills. How was France?” You change the subject. 

“Good. Good. Long but good. You need to come with me next time. It’s gorgeous over there and the amount of bread they eat would make you feel right at home.” He nudges your ribs and you bust out laughing. 

“Hey, a girl eats an entire loaf of sourdough bread at 3am ONE TIME and she's the ‘bread girl.’” 

“it was really good bread.” He adds.

“Right?!” 

Your giggles die down and an awkward silence falls between you two and you take a drink. There was this looming cloud of weird between you and you hated it. Things were never weird between you. Things were always easy with Chris. 

“So whats the deal with Matt?” he snaps you out of your thoughts. “His brother said you guys broke up. I thought you really liked him.” you down the rest of your drink and shrug.

“Matt’s great! Just a little dull. It got boring that the rest of them. His thought of  a fun friday night was playing Catan at his cousins apartment and that isn't bad per se, but not for me. You know? Besides, I'm not the only one failing in the love department. Don't think i don't know you broke things off with Jess. She called me sobbing because you “couldn't do the distance” which I know is bullshit because you told me you were “weighing your options” two weeks before you went to Paris.” 

“You know me too well, it isn't fair.” he shakes his head “ I don't know. She was really nice and smoking hot.” You roll your eyes. “But she just was kind of... crazy? Is that mean?” 

“I mean...she was a little... off?” you try to find a better word but that's all you could come up with. She was insane. 

“i guess i’m just waiting for the right girl.” He said and places his glass on the counter. “I’m beat. I think i’m going to go to bed.” He hops off the counter and runs a hand over his face. 

“Oh, yeah me too. Where should i sleep?” you ask, not knowing where to go in the five bedroom house. 

“I’ll show you.” 

He took your hand and lead you up the stairs and showed you to a room not much smaller than his. It had beautiful four poster bed and forrest green sheets. It smells like him in there. 

“Wow.” is all you can say. 

“Is this good? You can take my bed. I dont know how this mattress is no one has slept on it.”

“No this is perfect.” 

You say your goodnights not before Chris asks you a thousand times if you need anything. Once he was satisfied that you were good he left for his room. You plop down on the bed and stare at the ceiling. Today was weird and you really didn't know why. It has you thinking about the way Chris would feel pressing against your back as you slept. and how he would wake you up with as soft kiss in the morning. You had never dared to entertain those thoughts before but now they're all you could think about. 

A/n: Hi this was getting kind of long so i thought I would split it up into two parts. Is that something you guys would want? Let me know! 

[blueyesandleatherjacket]

Ghost of you, 15/?

Volume: 1.

Number of parts: 15/?.

Pairings: Human!Nine x Rose; Human!Ten x Jack; Clara Oswald x Olivia Baxter (OC).

Synopsis: "She felt it, it was time to speak about the weight on her shoulders. Something she had never done before."

A/N: I've started writing this fiction last year after I had a particularly weird dream (as usual) and after I wrote the prologue, I've put it aside to work on other stuff. I've gone back to it not so long ago and decided that it would be the fiction I would post next, after not posting anything for a while. I must have watched I am legend and Game of thrones way too much to come out with something like this but I hope you will like it. I am not a scientist, nor did I have a particular knowledge of sciences. I do my researches on the internet like everyone to make sure everything is as close to the reality as possible. I have a literature degree only. Writing is what I do and it makes me explore next fields, and learn new things.

“'Cause I'd rather feel your pain than nothing at all.” - Three Doors Down.

CHAPTER 15:

Amy woke up slowly. She was wrapped into a cocoon of warmth and well-being. She didn’t remember when was the last time she had felt so well. She stretched her body. She was taking all her time. She didn’t want to lose this precious well-being she hadn’t felt in ages. There was someone lay by her side. She rolled on her side and cuddled into the warm body beside her. She heard a smile and someone wrapped an arm around her. She must be dreaming but that dream was pleasurable. She liked it. She lazily wrapped her arm around that person. She didn’t know what she had expected but certainly not to be so close to a woman. This surprised her beyond words and she reluctantly rolled away from the unknown person she liked cuddling into. She couldn’t let herself go that way. The other woman reacted by trying to soothe her but Amy was too sleepy to be calmed down so easily. She needed to clear her mind first. Moaning, she pushed the hand away and rubbed her eyes. She stretched her body and looked around her. She wasn’t in her office but she wasn’t in her house either. It was a room she didn’t know. Had she done it again? Had she drunk until she had a blackout and been brought home by some stranger? There were pictures on the wall facing the bed. Pictures of a couple. Great, the woman she was with was married. She would have to deal with another cheated husband. She knew well that she didn’t have any control on herself when she was drunk. It was only a way to mute her pain. She was doing this when it was too strong, when it was suffocating her. She focused on the pictures on the wall. She wanted to see what the man she would have to face in the near future – because fate always made sure she faced them – looked like and the last pieces of the puzzle clicked together. It was Maxence Spitz. She remembered how she had ended up here. She had watched Rose work with Maxence for a while and the scientist had taken her into the private parts of the lab. They had had a quick lunch and they had settled down here. After a quick shower, they had lain down in bed and, reassured that she wasn’t alone for once, Amy had fallen asleep rather quickly. How much time had she slept? Had Rose watched her while she was asleep or had she slept too? It felt weird to be here, in this bed, with the wife of the man supposed to be her boss at the moment. But it was the start of a friendship. “How long have I slept?” A certain time according to her croaked voice and the feeling of being rested. She hadn’t felt this way in a very long time. It was before… “I’d say eight solid hours.” “Eight hours?” “You needed that sleep.” “And you?” “A couple hours.” Amy looked up at Rose. She was sat against a pile of pillows, glasses on her head and a book on her lap. She was reading and marking pages by folding their upper corner. Probably a book about her current researches. She looked as exhausted as before though. “You don’t look like someone who’s slept.” “Never said it was a good sleep.” “Do you have nightmares?” “I’m not the only one.” Rose looked away from her book to stare at Amy. Those whiskey eyes were clear on the meaning of those words. Somewhen during the night she had dreamt of this event and she must have screamed and cried and struggled against the sheets. “Sorry.” “Don’t be. I know what it is.” If there was something nice about Rose, it was that she wasn��t asking questions. She was giving her the time to consider the eventuality and if she wasn’t talking, she wouldn’t insist. She would wait until she was ready. “We all have our demons. You know mine already.” “But you don’t know mine.” “You’re not forced to talk to me.” “You’ve been comforting me, that’s the least I can do. You’re also the only one to care about me here.” Her voice was sad when she evoked this lack of friends in her surroundings. Rose was the first one to ever hold a hand out to her in this place and it felt amazing to have someone like her so close to her. Somehow, it felt easier to make friends in such a situation. She hesitantly snuggled closer to her new friend. “In my hometown, I’m known to sleep with married women,” she chuckled. “It only happened once but you know how people are.” “We all do mistakes.” “When my pain was suffocating me, I was going to a pub and drinking until I couldn’t feel it anymore. Once, I was taken home by a woman and I woke up in her bed. Only to be caught by her husband a couple hours later.” Amy fell silent after this admission. She was waiting for the judgement to come. People always judged a woman that was sleeping with someone married or that was having relations with another woman. But Rose didn’t say a thing. Instead, she pointed to a picture on the wall. A younger version of her and Maxence together in a park. Maxence had his arms around Rose and he was smiling brightly. Rose was just as happy on this picture. “This was the day we admitted our feelings to each other. It was one month after I broke up with Liv.” “You mean…” “Olivia Baxter, our doctor. We’ve known each other since forever. I’m totally bi. Not gonna judge you on this one.” “We didn’t…” “No.” Amy was relieved to know this at least. A friend that wasn’t judging her and that hadn’t let her make another mistake. Finally someone open minded. “Not enough alcohol in this building for us to be drunk. And I’m faithful.” “I used to be,” sadly murmured the therapist. She sat up and stared at the wall before her. She felt it, it was time to speak about the weight on her shoulders. Something she had never done before but Rose was offering her the trust and friendship she needed. It was all new but she knew deep down that she could say anything to this woman. She would listen and never judge. Hopefully. As a way to prove it, Rose took her hand and gently squeezed it. “The virus was already out when it happened. It wasn’t as bad as it is now. We could go out and have fun. And that’s what we did, my husband and son and I. There was a fair in our little town and we’ve spent the day there. It was a long and amazing day. My little boy, my William…” Her voice trailed off and she stopped speaking for a couple minutes. The anxiety was strangling her again. Rose didn’t say anything, she just stroked her hand with her thumb. A way to reassure her, to tell her that she wasn’t alone. After all, she was going through a loss too and she knew what it was. There was nothing to say at the moment. She could only listen. “We let him eat too much sugar and he was sick. I was driving so Bob, my husband, could deal with our son. He was blaming me for buying so much candy floss and so many sweets and I was trying to argue that our son’s happiness was the only thing that mattered. Every kid experiences sickness because of sweets at one point. But this argument signed our end. It distracted us.” She closed her eyes as the memories flew into her mind. She could see herself driving, her husband turned to watch William who was complaining about a belly ache. Two parents arguing and a sick child. She was looking for a place to stop the car so they could get out and breathe some fresh air to make the nausea disappear. And this man came out of nowhere. She brutally steered to avoid him and she lost the control of the car. No matter how hard she was trying to get the control back, the car kept sliding on the road and her husband was yelling at her and it was disturbing her. What had to happen happened. The car left the road and collided with a tree. The shock was so violent and so sudden that the airbags didn’t work. Her head bumped against the steering wheel and she thought it was over for her. “When I woke up, I was in the ICU. They waited until I was transferred to the light cares unit before telling me the truth. They haven’t suffered, they say. The collision killed them both instantly.” This was the last straw. Amy burst into tears and Rose wrapped her arms around her. She hugged her tight and rubbed her back while she cried all the pain that was still hurting her heart.

x

Zachary was worried. He had watched Maxence working and entering all the formula he had written on the wall on his personal space. Zachary had transferred the data to Tegan for him to approve of them. He would have to talk with Rose to be sure this was exact and to use those formula for their researches. But that wasn’t the reason why Zachary was so worried. After he was done, Maxence had cleaned the walls and instead of pacing around his cage, he had lain down and closed his eyes as if he was gonna sleep. At first, Zachary had thought he was doing it out of habit – a habit from when he was human – or because he was simply bored and wanted to look at the ceiling like he was often doing. Allegro was watching a movie in his cell. There was nothing to worry about for him. However, for Maxence, things were getting complicated. His brain seemed to have switched to a standby mode. A sort of sleep that wasn’t really sleep. He was just lying there with his eyes closed. Zachary was keeping an eye on his vital signs. His brain activity had reduced to the minimum, to the very minimum. If Zach didn’t have the other information under his eyes, he would think that the man was dead or about to be. Maybe he was dying. Zachary wasn’t very qualified on this field but he was clever enough to understand that something was wrong. The vital signs weren’t good at all. He entered an alert on their interactive group work. Someone needed to come and do a check up on him. Just to be sure that the fake cure given to him wasn’t having any effect on him anymore. Just a precaution not to lose him all of a sudden. Tegan was busy with the hacker and the maker of this fake cure at the moment and he wouldn’t be able to come before he was done. Rose had gone with Amy a little moment ago and they hadn’t come back yet. Jack and Clara were checking new formulas with Martha. Liv was probably getting some rest somewhere. All the qualified people of this team were busy elsewhere. Zachary hoped they would see the alert before anything happened to Maxence. That could be really bad. Allegro, on the other hand, was perfectly fine. All the effects of the ultraviolet were gone since they had turned off the lights and he hadn’t had any other fit of anger. Another check up was supposed to be done on him. If he was getting three negatives in a row, he would be able to come out of this place. It would be a relief but he wasn’t putting his hopes too high. He was bored in this cage but he was also very safe. Zachary was often chatting with him whenever he was having a small break. “Any good zombie movies to recommend to me?” It was just yesterday. Allegro was in a quite good mood and he wanted to joke. A zombie movie really was the easiest of jokes in the current times. That was why Allegro had asked for this. “What makes you think I’m a fan of zombie movies?” “You’re quite young. Young people love scaring themselves with those sorts of movies.” “Sorry to disappoint you, I’m prefer comedies and anime series. I love a good documentary too.” “Still a kid inside.” “What’s the point of growing up if you can’t be childish at times?” “I like your philosophy but I unfortunately have seen too many horrors to find my innocence again.” Just like Jack, Allegro had been a soldier before. When his contract with the army was over, he hadn’t renewed it. Instead, he had started looking for small jobs that were less stressful and that didn’t require traveling that much. That’s how he had ended up being a security member of this lab. Not a bad job during the good times. “You’re locked in there for a while, why not bringing back all those memories from your childhood? I’m sure the cartoons you used to watch are still available.” “How old do you think I am?” Zachary chuckled. He knew how old Allegro was. He was gonna turn forty soon. On normal times, some of his colleagues would have organised a small surprise party. Just to celebrate this special day. This lab could be such a perfect place sometimes. “Old enough to listen to those songs no one knows on Jazz FM.” “I like this radio. It’s relaxing.” “More a fan of Beethoven, me.” “That is surprising.” “I like rock music. I wish I could have gone to a Maiden concert. I guess it’s a dream that will never come true though.” “You can’t know. They maybe will find a cure that will save this world.” “It will take a while before people start trusting other people again to gather into public places.” “There’s this band I really like. A French band. It’s quite special but it’s really good. Ever heard of Indochine?” “If that’s not about this part of the world, then, I don’t what it is.” “It inspired the name. Listen to it. It’s really nice.” That’s how Zach had ended up on YouTube to listen to that French band while Allegro was taking a nap. Old school, bit weird, but very good. He really liked the music. Some of their songs were bringing energy and good vibes. It certainly was appreciated. “Are you watching one of those cartoons again?” joked Allegro. “Nope.” “That seems entertaining.” “It is. That’s the band you’ve told me about. I don’t understand half the lyrics but their music is nice.” “You can’t understand them. There isn’t any sense to their lyrics most of the time.” “Not sure about it.” “That’s not what’s causing you to be so anxious though.” “No. I’m keeping an eye on Maxence’s vital signs and they haven’t been good for a couple hours. I’ve entered an alert but no one has seen it yet.” “Is this that bad?” “If there wasn’t this information on my screen, I’d thought he’s dead. He hasn’t moved in hours.” “And no one had come? That’s weird.” “They’re all busy. T is on the hacker case. Rose is with the therapist. Jack and Clara and Martha are busy with some new formulas. I have no idea where Liv can be. And there’s nothing…” He was interrupted in his explanation by the striding sound and the red alert on his screens. Maxence sat up straight suddenly, gasping for air. He tapped the wall for someone to help him. Zach was powerless but thankfully, he saw Liv, fully dressed into a hazmat suit, running straight to his cage. She had seen the alert, he thought with relief. Maxence was coughing now. He still couldn’t breathe. He fell down the bed, on his hands and knees. Liv tried to talk to him but he wasn’t listening. All he wanted was air. She placed an oxygen mask on his face. He greedily breathed in that pure air finally reaching his lungs. “Breathe slowly, Maxence. Very slowly.” He wasn’t listening. He was too focused on taking as much air as he could. He was feeling better now that he could breathe again. He looked up at Liv and saw the sadness and fear in her eyes. She pressed her fingers on his ear briefly and pulled them back. The tip of her gloves was covered with a crimson sticky fluid. Blood. He touched his face, his ears, his nose, his mouth and his fingers were covered with the same blood. It wasn’t good. It wasn’t good at all. “We’re gonna have to make you go through another scan.” She had seen his latest results and they were bad. Jack had created an alert about it earlier this week. Zachary’s had made an echo to this alert and was telling them that the situation was getting worse. Maxence was fighting the virus and it was slowly killing him. Liv cupped his cheek. “You have to stop fighting. I know you don’t want to, but you have to. It’s important. You’re dying, Maxence.” Dying. The word echoed in his mind. Wasn’t he already dying? Wasn’t he dead since the moment he had been infected? He wanted to get better and he needed to be himself to find that cure. He couldn’t be himself if he stopped fighting. Rose wanted him to fight. So he had to keep fighting. Whatever it caused him. “I’m serious, Max. You might not hold on until we find that cure if you don’t let the virus win.” He shook his head and put the mask back on his face. Liv was amazed to see how aware he was of his surroundings. She knew it was because he was fighting but it was still a shock to see it. “Rose will understand. Nightwalkers don’t die from the virus unless they get involved in fights. You can’t be both. You’ll get back to your real self, but not now.” He pushed the mask away once again. His breathing was much better. He didn’t need it anymore. He gave it back to Liv. She would probably have to destroy it now. She wouldn’t use it on someone healthy. Or she would keep it for him if he was having another fit. “You can let go. It’s okay.” He didn’t want to. He refused to. He didn’t want to abandon his friends, his team. He wanted to help them as much as he could. Even if he had to die for this. He shook his head and Liv took her hand away from his face. “I’ll always be there to save you like you’ve saved me if you keep fighting. I won’t let you die.” He was surprised by the sudden change of speech from the young woman. What was making her change her mind so quickly? There must be a reason for that. “You never gave up when I was in troubles,” she murmured. “So I’m never gonna give up until you’re better.” Next thing he knew, she was hugging him tight. The plastic of the suit creaked. It was rather unpleasant to feel this against his skin but it was the first time he was given a hug in forever. So he hugged her back. It wasn’t the same as hugging Rose but it was okay. He liked it. Finally someone wasn’t afraid of the nightwalker him.

x

Tegan quickly walked to the public workspace where Camden and Donna were working. Camden had asked for him to come because they had found a clue for the patient zero. Even if it was good news, he wasn’t pleased to be interrupted in his rest. He had sorted things out with Colin and made him lock away in an empty area of the lab with guards to be sure he wouldn’t run away. It was also for him to be fed and taken care of if there was any problem. This was a solved case. While he was resting after Liv healed him, there had been this alert from Zachary that was causing him to be anxious. So anxious that he was on the edge of panicking. That was why Liv had insisted on him resting. She would check on Maxence and keep him updated. His head was pounding and his face was painful. Colin had quite a punch and doing nothing to protect himself had been a clever but dangerous move. He was paying for it but that pain was highly satisfying knowing the result. He had remained on the couch of his office for a moment before another mail came. A mail from Camden requiring his presence immediately. He had sighed and made his way there. He couldn’t refuse any clue when it was for a cure that would save Maxence. “I hope that’s not a deadlock. I’m not in the mood for fake hopes.” Speaking was hurting because it was using too many muscles that were bruised and sensitive but he couldn’t avoid this conversation. It was too crucial. Donna opened her eyes wide when she saw his face and Camden raised an interrogative eyebrow. This place was rather interesting in the end. The interactions between the scientists seemed to be highly charged. More than in a usual lockdown situation. There were personal matters interfering. It was fascinating. “What has happened to you?” “Bad moves while training.” “I’ve studied biology. This is not an accident.” “Whatever. This is not what brings me here, right?” “Jack and Clara will tell you I’m a very curious man.” “He is,” confirmed Donna. “And I never give up until I have my answers.” “That’s also true,” sighed the red-haired woman. “Well, look for all the answers you want and give me what I’ve come for.” Tegan sat down on the chair facing Camden and pushed the cardboard boxes that were in front of him. He folded his arms on his chest. He wanted to go back to his couch with an ice pack and an aspirin. But he was as curious as Camden and wanted his answers. “As a scientist, you must know what the Xeroderma Pigmentosum is.” “Yes. An extremely rare disease that makes every patient unable to bear the UV lights.” “And did you know there were researches to find a cure?” “Just like every cancer on Earth, there always has been researches for Xeroderma Pigmentosum. Get straight to the point.” Camden gathered a couple of papers that were scattered in front of him and pushed them toward Tegan. The neurologist took them. He didn’t understand where Camden was going but it was because his pain was distracting him. “We’ve found out that the most important researches were done by someone called Myrtle Appleton. Here, in England.” “However,” continued Donna, “she was sacked from the lab she was working in because she was using unconventional methods. It was a couple days before the virus hit the world officially.” “But she didn’t stop her researches. She has done them clandestinely.” “So, you’re telling me that this Myrtle Appleton was running experiences secretly and that one of these experiences might have gone wrong and provoked this whole mess?” “Yes.” Tegan put the documents down. He hadn’t even read them. His mind was focused on something else, something that didn’t please him at all. He jumped to his feet and left the workspace. He made his way to the empty part of the building where Colin was locked. Their paths kept crossing and Tegan really, really hated it…

To be continued...

Ghost of you © | 2017 - 2018 | Tous droits réservés.

×××

In the next chapter:

Colin was outrageously relaxed for someone who had been sacked and locked away. Tegan was resisting the envy of throwing him out of the lab and letting him see how he would survive out there. It was a chance that it hadn’t done it yet since Colin was gonna be really useful if he accepted to speak. Tegan wouldn’t get inside his prison. It would be playing Colin’s game. He would just do what he had to do by staying outside. One black eye was enough for him. He observed Colin. The scientist was laid on the desk of the room and watching the ceiling. He had a smirk on his face. He didn’t seem bothered at all by the whole situation. He was annoyed to have been caught but he was living it quite well. And this was infuriating Tegan. How could this mad scientist be so happy with himself when he almost killed a man?

×××

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[beverlyr0ad]

crimes of grindelwald thoughts

alright obvious spoilers not that it matters bc i have one follower lmao but !! i need somewhere to scream abt this movie

first of all i love jacob and newt so much. best parts of this movie honestly i love them and i want them to be happy 

but to be fair i actually rlly rlly enjoyed watching this movie!! like,, there are a looot of things i dont understand about it and i have no idea how they happened or why theyre happening but thats Okay i would still recommend everyone watch it! its so good!!!

good things:

- grindelwald !! i mean,, no hes not a good thing but i really liked how they wrote his character. like i can UNDERSTAND the power he has over people and how hes manipulating them. hes really not just a Voldemort 2.0 and i respect that a lot bc thats not what an entirely different villain should be like. but casting issues and all aside i really liked this

- i also liked the interaction between leta lestrange and dumbledore that was some good stuff and the actors were rlly good too !!! - i like the direction queenie is going in. i mean i dont actually of course but it seems realistic and i think its important and its good character development n stuff so hhh hope that works out later tho !! i am Suspense

- jacob walked into that movie and i was like !!!!!!!!! :DDDDDDDDDDDDD i love him so much and it was rlly nice to see him back even if i dont think it was that neat to have him lose his memory of everything that happened for significance and in this movie have everything go like WHOOMP hes back but i uhhhh loved it anyway so this is not a complaint its a good thing - i still loved newt and having a good main character makes the whole movie a better watch in general. ive seen sequels where i just Cant get attatched to the new characters but wow i didnt really have much of a problem with that here

- it was also never boring and i really just loved n enjoyed this movie a lot!!!  okay hhh bad things/things that i personally disliked:

- ive seen different opinions on this but??? what was that blood pact????? what are u doing??????????????? i cant even be coherent properly so here are the main reasons that was rlly dumb

1- w-who does that in a romantic relationship ever :o and yes jkr has literally said dumbledore n grindelwald were in LOVE HELLO feel free to correct me if im wrong on anything but if ur gonna say it u should show it,,,, Continuity Please. anyway separate issue but if u love someone youre not gonna be like “hey lets make SURE we dont fight each other ever” because youll trust that the other person?? isnt gonna fight u???!!!???? im

2- thats literally not the reason he “cannot move against grindelwald” okay like it shouldnt be. this conversation literally happens in dh and dumbledore says he was scared of facing what rlly happened when ariana died!! there was no actual physical thing stopping him!!! the only acceptable justification is that he doesnt want to face this ghosts of his past and that moment and he is SCARED okay so COME ON give dumbledore his faults! hes scared of his past and that IS the reason!!

3- wait how did grindelwald, aberforth, and albus fight if they had already entered a blood pact. like i dont think albus would aim for his own brother EVER but could he even attack grindelwald if they had a blood pact?? not sure how this works lol but who was he aiming for then??? just firing everywhere randomly without intention cause that sounds,,, significantly harder to believe and makes that scene loads messier esp if grindelwald couldnt aim for albus either so

4- the blood pact was so frickin unnecessary im sobbing. like there was the scene where its all like “oh some say you were as close as brothers” and dumbledore is like “oh we were closer than brothers...” and im like OK! the little scene in the air doesnt explicitly reveal anything either so thats ok but the closer than brothers line was rlly revealing for me. at least for like two minutes and then dumbledore looked in the mirror and saw himself making a blood pact w grindelwald. like ok is That what u meant by closer than brothers bc thats what everythings pointing to but it shouldnt be and i.............ugh

5- im honestly just kind of hhhhhhhhhhhh. i can concede that the blood pact might be significant in later films and i look forward to watching them! but. at the same time i. wish that if you were going to say dumbledore was gay it would actually be explicitly referenced in the movie, instead of dancing around that and dropping it in hints and pieces that fans of the series who know this information will understand and others can just dismiss as friendship! there were So Many good places in this movie to include this fact (altho feel free to disagree w me haha) and i think that not including this fact was honestly tiring.

- nagini...........obv this isnt a huge problem bc idk where her story will go next n it might develop n become important but as of rn, i have no idea what her role in this movie is. i wonder if her reappearance in the harry potter series will actually be of significance and if itll be explained how she will end up under servitude to voldemort bc i genuinely dont understand right now. it just seems like a cameo to draw attention in the trailer ghgdjh

- leta lestrange’s death didnt feel right or impactful and im sad . definitely a huge opinion here but it felt like a mandatory character snuff to make the movie sad and ghdsjgfh oh well :(

- little continuity issues?? dumbledore being DADA professor instead of transfiguration bc Boggarts Are Important For Foreshadowing. also how is mcgonagall an adult or actually how is she even alive and um of course the fact that this movie doesnt confirm what jkr has said about dumbledore and grindelwald beforehand. 

- im actually going to totally repeat myself bc this deserves a separate point umm why arent dumbledore and grindelwald actually shown as in love with each other as young men. its completely relevant to the movie and its not hard to put it in there instead of the bLOOD PACT (ask anyone irl ive been screaming abt the blood pact ever since i came out of that movie). anyway i know david yates said he wouldnt be including that as part of the movie as fans are aware of that aNyway but its not that hard to understand. people are asking for actual representation?? not smt vague??? because this is just here to Please People. if u refuse to see this ship, ure just gonna see them as having a friendship! maybe u havent heard about what jkr said or maybe ure choosing to ignore it bc,, idk that says smt about u, or maybe another reason idk! but if u go into this knowing they were In Love and hoping to see confirmation of dumbledore being canonically gay, youre going to hear that “oh, we were more than brothers” line and be like oh yeah we been knew, or more seriously like hey! maybe we’re getting a canon confirmation, not just floaty young people leaning towards each other! like when he looked in the mirror i was like okay This Is It this is gna be confirmation but then it wasnt oop. it was the !!! bloooood paaact !!! which means that people could interpret the “closer than brothers” line as meaning oh we done did a blood pact that means we blood related look at us go! Wow! so this is basically just a half azzed attempt at pleasing people w stereotypical viewpoints and people happy to see representation. hmmmmmmmmmm.. (psst if u actually ship older dumbledore n grindelwald tho What Are You Doing Stop !! thats not a healthy relationship, grindelwald is an awful person and dumbledore deserves to grow from the person he was before!!! he deserves so much better!!! im not saying to ship them but im saying that if we’re gonna say they were in love as young men and if we are going to confirm that dumbledore is gay well,,, lets put that in canon pls!!!! we need canon representation but we dont need to pretend this ship is healthy or good bc its representation either. this isnt shipping this is asking to acknowledge that dumbledore was gay and in love with grindelwald and its confirmed that grindelwald was in love with him too. in the place the story of tcog is now, that relationship is not ever going to happen again and if u actually think it is ure suffering from some next-level delusion. just be definitive and acknowledge that your characters are LGBT tho pls!! u said they were!!! actually i would be so much happier to see a Happy And Healthy LGBT Pairing can we have that? please?)

- big spoiler but hOW IS CREDENCE ALBUS’ BROTHER WHAT IS HAPPENING DKFJDKSH i need to separate my thoughts again

1- AGE DIFFERENCE........apparently dumbledore is like 46 in this movie right?? credence doesnt look over 20. okay percival dumbledore is put in azkaban before albus starts school right?? so the maximum age albus can be is 11. now im gonna say that kendra was not having any more kids w anyone else after that incident fs so the oldest albus can be when ariana is born is 12, leaving room for some other stuff okay. ALBUS AND CREDENCE DONT LOOK LIKE THEY HAVE A 12 YEAR AGE GAP WHAT IS HAPPENINF

2- i saw people theorizing that credence is ariana’s son and NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO PLS NO

3- not an actual issue but i thought grindelwald said his name was berrylius dumbledore which i later remembered as berrylium dumbledore and anyway thank god for the internet

4- okay at this point i cant tell if this has just been brought in for shock value or smt like. is this relevant to the plot. is grindelwald even telling the truth. w-why did the movie end there. help....... i think thats it but i do want to say that i respect the rights of the creator jkr to do whatever she wants w these characters. its her world! but i can have a whole bunch of opinions n feelings about this movie and still support it. after all, i love harry potter and the whole wizarding world w my whole heart. 

did anyone even read that LOOOL that was so long sorry

[beaubcxton]

‘And that’s your cue.’ ( Jily )

An au where you try out for auditions and you’re really scared but then this cute guy calms you down and then what? 

A/N: Here’s the au that no one asked for. @youreyesinstarsabove this is for you. There’s hardly any fluff here but if you wait, you shall see. (is that vague enough?) I wrote this in a few hours so dont judge me xxxx

 Lily Evans has not been living her dream. Neither her vision of what constituted a dream and what not. For starters, she still lived with her friend, Marlene and she was reminded of this fact every weekend at night. And there’s the issue with her job. Life would like to say it bit her in the ass when she found out she was working for Severus Snape- the creep who stalked her when they were children. She had taken the job, still because money? In this economy was a rarity.

Life had kicked and laughed at her but she raised a finger- it was her favorite one-, dusted her skirt and strode away. You could say, she was holding life by the balls when she took matters into her own hands.

After her parents died, she had spent hours wondering what to do with the money they left for her.

Petunia had shown up for the funeral and sniffed when she caught sight of Lily’s clothing or rather lack of mourning clothes.

“A shame, Lily. What would our parents say?”

“I think-“  Lily bit out, furious that even the matter of mourning was a competition to her sister. “-that they would be rather happy that I haven’t got a stick in my ass.”

True to her nature, Petunia had balked at her in disgust and swept away, adamant not to be seen involved with her freak of a sister.

She could almost hear the hearty laugh of her father. And suddenly, she knew what she had to do.

So here she was, dressed in a lousy blouse and tight jeans, in a hall where the auditions for a French play’s cast were being held. Only the residue of courage lingered in her as the prospect of what she was about to face wore her. She fans her face- why was it so bloody hot?

“Jenna Mackenly.”

The name sends another jolt to her and she shuts her eyes so she doesn’t have to see her clammed up hands and her shivering legs.

“Hey.”

Jumping, she takes a glance at the man next to her and immediately freezes. Sure, its bloody dark and she can barely see him but to the gods, if he wasn’t fit as hell. Brown eyes blinked at her and his jaw- one that could melt hafnium ( sue her, she’s a nerd)- tilts.  He’s holding a plate of French fries and offers them to her which she declines.

“You nervous?”

She nods.

He takes her silence in stride. Perhaps, he’s used to girls fawning over him and being shitting messes. “You don’t need to worry much. Just look at that- he points to a light behind him- and sing. The judges are a bunch of cranky wankers-“ She huffs a laugh here because they indeed were; Several of them looked almost bored as the poor girl sang shrilly- “so don’t bother looking at them, yeah?”

The advice takes a moment to settle in but once it does, she murmurs out a soft thank you.

“Ah.” His eyes lit up and their close proximity enables her to see the flecks of gold swimming in them. “She speaks.”

“She is Lily Evans.”

“And he is James Potter. Not the judge, I meant me. Ugh, I am so not cool.”

She lets out a giggle. “It’s alright. I’m used to boys being stuttering messes around me.”

Laughter erupts from him and the girl on stage pauses briefly before continuing. “Says the girl who was in awe of me just a few seconds ago.”

“Excuse me if I didn’t know what to say to a stranger.”

He smiles like a wolf. “Well, I’m not a stranger anymore, am I?”

And then, like the wanker he is, he shifts as if he knows she going to gulp when she sees his muscles flex. Chuckling, he deems that the act of teasing her would not go well in his favor and asks, “What are you doing here?”

She cocks an eyebrow at him. “I’m going to sing.”

A blush stains his cheek. “I know that. I meant, why are you here?”

Despite the flow of ridiculous questions, she says, “I always wanted to be a singer. There’s something beautiful about the way you can control your voice and direct it to flow, you know? Music, it’s a piece of art that goes in the ears and straight to your heart, clanging through your blood as it does so. Everyone’s born with a song and ahh, it’s a channel to release your anxiety.”

He hums. “Have you thought of becoming a writer too?”

Again, he offers her the plate. She picks one fry and chews it. “Did you know French fries have actually no French origin?”

Surprised, she says, “I do.” And like the sap she is, she blushes. Quickly getting back on topic: “I work for a magazine, actually.”

“Which one?”

“Echos.”

James immediately recoils. “You work for Snape?”

“Yeah.”

“Ughhh. And here, I thought you were a decent bird.”

She should have rebuked him. She really should have. That’s what a decent employee would do but she hated Snape as much, if not more than he did. It's not unexpected that the public detests Snape. When Severus was a journalist, several protests were his doing as his articles were usually along the lines of ‘NO place for immigrants.’ ‘The possibilities if the blacks are once again oppressed.’ It hurt Lily’s conscience that she had to work for a man like him but her bank account needed it.

Lily shoves him by the shoulder. “Oh shut up. Not all of us are rich, Mr. Posh.”

“Mr. Posh?” He barks a laugh. “That’s a new one.”

“Shush. It’s because of that perfume you’re wearing.” She remarks, rather reluctantly. His odor was rather intoxicating. It was a mixture of ink and cookies but she interrupted when she saw his mouth form an arrogant grin. “What do you work as?”

“Lily Evans.”

Fudge.

James pushes her a little. “You can do this.”

She can do it. She was Lily Evans according to her birth certificate, not Quitter Evans so, hands sweating alongside wobbly knees, she glided through the silence and assumed her position on stage.

“What song are you going to sing for us?’

“Greek Tragedy by the Wombats.”

One of the judges blinked at her and yawned. “Well, go ahead.”

Wanker.

Stand tall, her mother used to say. Chest open, head back, relax and let your voice flow.

So she sang. The stumbling croak soon dissolved into what she hoped was the lull of a nightingale. She closed her eyes when the judges started talking to one another. She kept singing, reminded herself of a time when Petunia and her ran down to breakfast as soon as the scent of maple danced in the air. She thought of the time when she had didn’t give a damn about money and did things because she liked it. And she lingered on James, the man she’d just met who gave her the confidence to find her voice.

“That’s enough.”

Her eyes flew open and she stumbled a little.

“That was great.”

Snapping her head towards the familiar voice, her jaw almost drops.

Of course, of bloody course, James had to be a judge. Internally groaning, she mutters out thanks and stalks off stage.

He catches up with her when she’s about to leave.

“Alright, Evans?”

She offers him a reproachful eye. “I suppose it was too difficult to tell me you were a judge.”

He laughs. “Is that what got your knickers in a twist?”

Scowling, she flushes. “People probably think I was trying to.....seduce you.”

A beat of silence and then he doubles over laughing. In the light, she can fully appreciate his features. He’s better than fit. Too damn tall but his wavy and messy jet black hair make up for it. And, he’s wearing a carry on shirt. The universe hates her, she’s sure.

“Seduce?” He chokes out, finally.

Waving a hand to brush the matter away, she says as a matter of fact, “We all know I'm irresistible.”

Fondness coats his features. “That you are. I doubt you’d like to go out on a date with me, now?”

Cursing whoever bothered to add logic in her vessel, she declines the offer halfheartedly.

James takes the rejection in stride. Kissing her palm, he purrs, “Until next time?”

He smirks as she nods faintly.

 LilyEvans to MarlMc: bring ice cream.

MarlMc: bring it urself

LilyEvans: not fair. I just rejected a hot guy.

MarlMc: strawberry or vanilla?

LilyEvans: chocolate.

MarlMc: that’s not an option

Also youre a dolt.

LilyEvans: it is now.

I know.

 Marlene does not bring chocolate ice cream.

It truly is a sin but nonetheless, a sad Lily needs her ice cream so she sticks her spoon in the salted caramel ice cream. (“It’s a new flavor,” Marlene explained.) (“I was going to get a new flavor.”) (“Stop objectifying the bloke, you sap.”) (“I am not, you cynic.”)

They share ice cream that night and the following one. Marlene calling Lily a dolt after each spoon.

“You’re going to get in.”

“I sang like a crow, Marls.”

“You’ll still get in.”

“I won't. And I don’t care, either.”

Marlene made a hmph sound but if the outcome was a failure, Lily wasn’t going to wallow in her misery. She had learned something as she poured her heart out on that stage. Sometimes, you’ve gotta do things for fun even if you suck at it. Keep trying until you can proudly say, “I lowkey don’t suck. 

Someday, she’d sing in front of people who wanted to listen to her instead of three old men and one fit bloke. Someday.

And when the call came a few days later and some ass said, “You didn’t make the cut, sweetheart” and hung up, she was stung but she shrugged it off and posted a cover of her song on youtube.

  LilyEvans to MarlMc: im going out

MarlMc: u???

On a weekend?

Instead of reading??

Who are you??

LilyEvans: shut up

I have a boy to find

who’s a cute nerd

MarlMc: ashkashdihsndlksa

 “Thank you.” She held the plate of fries in her hand, silently asking herself what the frick she was doing.

Taking a deep breath, she entered the auditorium and looked around. Unlike last time, it was James that made her uneasy and not the stifling heat. His mop of hair was not to be found in the seats and the realization brought a pang to her chest.

“Looking for me?”

Spinning around, she’s faced with a very very close James.  

“James.” She breathes.

“Lily.” He responds, quirking an eyebrow. “Sorry that you didn’t get the part.”

She swallows. “It's okay. I got you some ah, fries.”

He takes the plate from her and inspects the chips, thoughtfully. So much for romantic gestures. 

“What-“

“Wanna go out with me?”

“Sure. You have my number?”

A frown tugs at her lips. “Wait, what?”

“Do you have my number?” He repeats, rather slowly, grinning at her confusion.

“You’re saying yes?”

He mocks a sigh. “Not a bright one, are you Lily?”

“What? I’ll have you know I got a degree in politics and-“

 Laughing, he gently pulls her outside and scribbles his number on her arm, his touch sending goosebumps through her blood.

“Call me?”  He imitates a phone and she lets out a laugh

Brimming with euphoria, she says, “I’ll do more if you’d like.”

And then, he kisses her.

Maybe the universe didn’t hate her after all, She’ll think months later as she rubs her belly and replies to comments on her youtube channel. 

“Hey, Lils?”

“Yeah?”

“They increased Snivellus’s jail time.”

Its bad of her to laugh but she still does. 

“Did you call the guy to fix the bed?”

Her boyfriend huffs and kisses her on the cheek. “I’ll do it myself. I’m James.”

“Exactly why I’m asking.”

Huffing, he turns but she tugs him back.

This time, she kisses him.

[lone-hand]

THE MANY, DIFFERENT FACES AND VOICES OF UNCLE PHIL

UNCLE PHIL, CHURCH OF AQUARIUS, BORN WINNER...Personas or caricatures from the mind of Phil Osborne . Phil is a musician, artist, film maker, animator, and general renaissance man. His music and art all come from the same world, it’s Gremlins meets Carpenter meets Pee Wee’s Playhouse meets Monty Python meets Uncle Phil. Phil lived inside this world in his Monster Party Galleries (1&2) in Victoria BC and now he is living in Montréal. Here we talk about his Church of Aquarius album Obliged with Tact and Etiquette::::

“I think there's as much truth, if not more truth in something comedic.”

When/where did you start recording Obliged with Tact and Etiquette?

I started writing and recording material for it in the summer of 2012. I went to Victoria BC to visit some friends and wrote the first song, high as a kite, out of nowhere to make my friends laugh, a sort of fake british psychedelic pop song. I was trying to sound like monty python trying to be early pink floyd. I recorded a simple demo of it and everyone loved it.

After I had that first song done, I started thinking i should do a whole album as an homage to all things british i love. Music with that sensibility I love so much, pipers at the gates of dawn and syd barrett are the main influence, the beatles too of course. The voice I use is pretty much my impression of the Jeremy Hillary boob phd character in yellow submarine. I threw in some fake Shakespeare in humbug,your majesty, I even put a tea brake in the middle of that song. 

Over the next 4 years, I wrote lots of music for it. I re-recorded some of the songs more than 3 times to get it just right. I also got help from my friend Leigh Newton ( daiquiri, major entertainer, the sun through a telescope,world war 4 ect..). he’s an amazing musician and can play everything. He re-did high as a kite his way and gave it more kick. I released that as the 7 inch with the b side sung in french.

So OWTAE is your “British” album?

Besides the brit stuff, the music from the quebecois tv show passe partout is another one it's like folk and electronic. Pierre f. brault wrote the tunes. I rediscovered the show and the records and the whole thing is serious genius. Plains of Avadoon is a tip of the hat to them.

Are the stories told on this album true stories or is it all fictional?

They are all a bit autobiographical. I used the feeling of being 19, lost and stoned as a guide for some of the songs. Going to see the magician is about those nights I spent with a friend as we walked across town or drove to go see this drug dealer ( the magician ). We always had to avoid running into police in my small town of Gatineau, they are insane and can easily stop you for no reason (watch out, there's pigs in the dark..) Past the train tracks and the tombstone sea is about the secret passage i use to go to my parents house, a path i have walked so many times since i was a teen.

Would you say OWTAE is a comedy album first and foremost or does that even matter? 

I tried to keep all the songs in a good mood. It's supposed to be an upper. If it makes someone laugh and smile, it's a good thing. 

Is music too self serious right now?

i think there's as much truth, if not more truth in something comedic. Something serious can often make you laugh anyway, so is there really a difference? As for bands being too serious, let's be more specific and describe them as bands that aren't trying to get laughter as a response. That's definetly the popular approach out there and it gets stale after awhile. We need a bit more wackyness in our music. At least some contrast, damn it! I want to hear different moods in a bands set. i don't want the same song 12 times, and upping the tempo ain't good enough. Do a dumb song and follow it up with a sad country tune. Why not? Aren't we all kind of moody people? Sad on Tuesday morning, wacky on Wednesday night?

Amen. So then how do you decide if something is an Uncle Phil/Church Of Aquarius/Born Winner recording?

At first i couldn't decide on a name for my music since it was just a crazy mix of styles with 60s to 90s influences. I just called it Uncle Phil, real simple. Then I decided to split my influences in half : church of aquarius for all things 60s and 70s, born winner for all things 80s and 90s. I'm gonna use the uncle phil music name as the music publishing name just for fun instead.

“I used the feeling of being 19, lost and stoned as a guide”

Are these characters you or do you always write music in character?

I'm not even sure there's a difference. I end up doing so many takes of the songs, I live the stories and I become one with the characters. It's serious shit, yo.

But does your music and video and artwork more or less exist in the same world?

i like to think it doesn't. A big part of the fun of making art is you get to create new worlds. Of course every world needs characters and stories. Every song, robot toy, puppet or drawing is a diferent character and sometimes they inhabit the same world. I make the albums like they're movies. Each song is in a specific order. 

Your writing is almost like a stream of conscious, and everything is done at home with efficiency and speed, can you explain your recording process a little?

It usually starts with a song title and the words flow out right after. The melody comes when I read the lyrics over and over again. Walking outside helps with that. The mood of the lyrics defines the melody i hear in my head. It's basicaly either funny, dark, wacky or mysterious. Sometimes I write an instrumental part on guitar or keyboard and then i keep that on the shelf. I write some lyrics way later and then remember that part i wrote a while back and it fits with the lyrics. the real work is not writing them. it's getting the right sound quality, arranging and then mixing. That last part in the song birth process is the hardest and least fun for me. It usually ends with a deadly migraine! I gotta hire help for that at some point.

Did that process change in any way during the creation of OWTAE?

This lp is more intricate with arrangements than past things which were usually done on the spot. I learned that sometimes a simple demo of a song has more magic than a refined recording of the song . That’s why im putting out diferent versions of the album. Demos and alternate mixes, at least on tape, made available at shows. Kenneth J. Maclaurin made me an amazing cover for it and each tape will be a diferent colour variation of it. One for each season.

“Making movies is like trying to express yourself in slow motion. In quick sand. Music is a nice little walk in the woods.”

Is your work an homage or was everything always an homage? 

I would say all of my art is pretty much all an homage and there's nothing wrong with that. The music i'm making is for sure, the sound and references are specific to time periods. I think we all try and alter the things we love in the art we make, we celebrate it. I guess a person or band is original in the sense that instead of just doing a byrds cover or something, you write a song that kind of captures their sound. Maybe you add another influence in there if it feels right. So what started as a sort of attempt to imitate created an original piece. that's good. I think imitation is usually not as conscious and mechanical as the word makes it sound. The song you wrote that sounds like a band you like came out of having their music in your blood. It's gonna come out of you when you least expect it. It's natural and healthy and then you can do so many alternate combinations with music, it never gets boring. You can make that imitation byrds song and stick a distorted tuba or a vocoder in there to switch it up. Go nuts! 

On the topic of art, have you got other art projects you are working on right now? Any animation?

Mostly music related stuff every day lately but i need to continue making and selling toys now that i know what works and what doesn't. I'm getting back into that, gotta move these robots and monkey paws again! I’m working on a short called douche bag. 

I’ve done animated videos for a fair amount of bands. daiquiri, giallos flame, babysitter and fuck the facts among them, but animation is literally back breaking work and when I get involved with that again it's as a writer or director. Drawing thousands of drawings is dangerous for me. I’m more interested in puppets now since you dont have to animate every frame of a character's mouth moving. I have many projects in mind for puppets and they are slowly coming into this reality. 

(for music) Born winner as a one man live act is in the works, more church of aquarius shows, albums for both projects on the way, an album of me covering some film music such as empire strikes back....

What's happening with ghoul street?

Ghoul Street is a short feature puppet horror comedy i'm working on. It's bigger than my other projects. This involves getting a fair amount of people to help. Some human actors, lots of voice overs etc... It will see the light of day at some point, it's just a matter of time. Most of the puppets are made and are all waiting in an attic somewhere...

Is music your favourite art form? How is making music different from making a film or drawing? 

I get to express myself quickly with a song. The song's words and melody come out naturally, lyrics are nowhere near as complicated as writing a story. I get a lot out of it. If there's a chip on your shoulder, writing and singing a song about it takes care of that better than any other art form. You can make music pretty easily with just your voice or one instrument, you don't need much. Of course, that simple demo must evolve into a carefully arranged and well played recording but it's still easier than animation. Making movies is like trying to express yourself in slow motion. In quick sand. Music is a nice little walk in the woods. 

[beescream]

For @scenitroute! I was your Secret Santa @undertalesecretsanta this year, and I hope you like what I wrote for you - happy new year, too! Eta: when i moved this over from my fic editor it deleted all of my italics! Pls dont reblog this til i fix it :( im at work but i will do it asap. 

Eta2: fixed it!

“You know,” Papyrus remarked, absently stirring his tea as he gazed out at the sleet battering the road outside, “in all the books underground, when they show pictures of Spring, usually it looks.. greener. And less, you know, generally awful.”

From across the room, Sans hummed agreement and turned another page of the heavy paperback book he was cradling.

“I think that Fluffy Bunny might have been a little idealistic, Sans.”

“Surely not, bro.”

“I’m afraid so, Sans. I think the author of Fluffy Bunny may have been misled, somehow. Or lived somewhere less… abysmal.”

Sans looked up.

“You gotta remember, bro, it’s only mid-January. It’s not Spring yet. Maybe it’ll get better then?”

Papyrus turned away from the dismal view to squint at Sans, head tilting as if he was attempting to get water out of the ears he didn’t have.

“But we have celebrated Christmas, Sans! As you and I are both aware, the next season after Christmas is Spring, and as we left Christmas behind in December, along with the New Year - one of them, at least - that logically means that we are now in Spring.”

Sans’ vision tracked him as he paced across the living room of their new property. Three months was not long enough to make it feel like home, but it was getting there. He’d even managed to get Sans to promise to pick up any socks he left downstairs, and help with chores. His brother had even begun to wear other clothes - as had Papyrus! Human fashion was myriad and fascinating, and even a little intimidating at times, but that hadn’t stopped him from joining with his friends and the human for their first ever shopping trip.

Papyrus found his mind wandering back to the day he’d spent with his friends (friends! He had friends!), digging through boxes of clothes in charity shops, perusing the racks at department stores, being gazed at by many, many humans who were no doubt fascinated by his pearly white bones. Since moving up to the surface he’d read a little more about humans (to be polite) and found that humans also contained skeletons! Possibly they were related somehow, but no doubt it explained why he and his brother often got such strong reactions.

“Papyrus..?”

Papyrus’ head turned sharply to look at his brother, who appeared somewhat amused.

“Been calling you for a couple minutes. Here.”

“Don’t, Sans- augh!”

He reached out and snatched the mobile phone Sans had so carelessly tossed in his direction out of the air.

“One day you’ll break this, you know.”

“I know you’ll catch it.”

Sans shrugged, face already back in his book. Papyrus could see the glossy pages from where he stood, emblazoned with stars. He wasn’t sure why his brother loved them so much, but if it made him happy..

He looked at the phone’s screen.

“Spring,” it said, “is one of the four seasons. This year, Spring begins on the first of March, and ends on the thirty-first of May.”

The article then went on to talk about other seasons. Papyrus backed out of the article and searched again, this time more generally, for “Spring”. Once more he was displayed pictures of sun, blue skies, green grass, and lambs (apparently essential, for a proper Spring.There were also some coiled pieces of metal, although he discounted those). He scrolled through the results and frowned.

“Do humans only clean at one time of the year?”

“Uhh.. don’t think so. Why?”

“There are all these articles about Spring Cleaning.. I really hope our human acquaintances are more sanitary than these ladies. Brenda says she does her best cleaning in Spring.. Well, Brenda, maybe your cleaning would be better if you practised it year-round!”

“You tell her, bro.”

Papyrus looked around. All this talk of cleaning was making him feel antsy. His gaze alit on the tree.

“Don’t you think it’s about time we got rid of that, Sans? It sheds everywhere, and the dog is bad enough without pine needles, too.”

“I thought we were gonna wait ‘til February? If you wanna toss it, go for it. Means you don’t have to vacuum every hour, anyway.”

Papyrus privately thought saying he vacuumed every hour was unfair. It was every two hours, maybe every hour and a half if the tree was being particularly shed-y. It would be nice to have that time back.. And Sans would probably appreciate it, not being woken every few hours through the night.

“I’ll take it down to the dump,” he decided, “do you want to come, Sans?”

“I’m good, thanks, bro. But maybe Undyne would want to? You haven’t seen her in a couple of days. And you could, you know. Talk to her about.. That Thing.”

Papyrus nodded. He really did need to discuss That with her. This would be a trip to the dump with purpose!

—

An hour and a half later, and many, many needles down his shirt, in his socks, and one particularly awful introduction of a branch into his eyesocket, he was ready to go. Glaring at the tree, wrapped in a dirty sheet from Sans’ bed to stop needles from covering his car’s back seat, he slammed the door and winced as he heard the pot hit the door. Hopefully it wouldn’t leave a mark..

“Hugkh-”

“Hey, dude!”

Papyrus wheezed from beneath Undyne, air having been knocked out of him at her forceful greeting.

“Trip to the dump, huh? I am all over that! Do you think it’ll be much different from the one we had, you know, down there?”

Papyrus indicated he had no idea. Then, rather more forcefully, he indicated he’d quite like to get up, please.

“Ha! That’s so like you, Papyrus. Polite to a fault, even when your face is getting mashed into the rocks!”

She heaved him upright and left him to brush himself off, instead gazing in the windows of the car.

“Thanks for inviting me out, today, by the way! I was feeling kinda… cooped up. A trip to the dump is just what the doctor ordered! Not that I’ve been at the doctor. Or anyone has been to the doctor recently.”

He glanced at her, still picking pine needles off his skort, and watched her fidget. Her bulky coat hid her hands, but he could tell she was getting twitchy.

“Anyway!”

He sighed. It would be one of those trips.

—

The weight of the tree in the back made the car drive strangely, especially in sleet. He found himself slowing down even more than he would normally, taking corners carefully, giving himself more stopping time. Undyne sighed every time he tapped the brakes, practically bouncing in her seat. She flicked between stations on the radio, not allowing a single second of adverts to make it past her ears. Eventually it hit noon, and the news came on.

“Stop,” he said, “at least let’s listen to the headlines.”

“Ugh. It’s boring..”

..nother casualty of the riots in the downtown area was taken to hospital late last night. Police are appealing for any witnesses to come forward.

Further to the news that more monsters are planning the move from Underground, a speaker from the local anti-monster group made a statement this morning that the group is planning another protest in a few weeks time. A reply from the local monster advocacy groups is not yet forthcoming.

“This sucks,” said Undyne, stabbing a finger sharply into the power button. Papyrus didn’t stop her. He may not have had a stomach, but that didn’t stop the tight, cold feeling he got when he thought about the protests. “I feel like no matter what we do nothing happens, like it’s always gonna be this way! No matter what, monsters are always gonna be protested against and, I dunno, shunned.”

“It won’t be forever,” he said, far more confidently than he felt, “the good humans outnumber the bad! One day they’ll realise we’re just like them, except far more handsome, of course.”

Undyne sighed.

“Yeah. I met some pretty cool people when Alphys took me along to the meet on Friday. Obviously we didn’t go to the march, but maybe someday in the future. I’ve been working on shields - passive ones, you know? Not just the one you get with a spear. I dunno. It’d be nice to be able to protect th- myself. And Alphys, obviously, and anyone else who needs protecting, but mostly me and Alph, you know, not-”

“We’re here,” he said, interrupting her before she got totally wound up, and guided the car into the wide area at the entrance to the dump.

“Great!”

“No-”

Too late. She was already out of the car, stumbling out into the sleet with the car still moving. He sighed and braked. Handbrake on, he dug through the glove compartment for his wallet. He didn’t know if he had to pay for use of the dump or not, but he wouldn’t be caught empty-handed! Or empty-pocketed, as it were. He tucked the wallet into his jacket and joined Undyne outside.

She jostled him with her shoulder.

“So! What’s the plan? We gonna just… javelin this thing into the centre of this place? If we got a decent run-up, we could make it pretty far. Or put it on the roof of the car, and drive really fast, then brake-”

“I was thinking more like taking it over there,” he said mildly, pointing at the sign that read ‘XMas TREE DisPOSaL’ in thick black marker.

Undyne shook a layer of sleet off her hood.

“That’s fair. Boring, but fair.”

They opened the car door and gazed in at the ghostly white-wrapped tree.

“I’ll take this end,” announced Undyne, and gripped the base of the tree, tugging hard. The tree shuddered - then the pot slid off the end, sending her stumbling back with a yelp. Darting forward, Papyrus caught her barely before she hit the ground, hearing a faint clonk of the pot landing somewhere in the distance.

They awkwardly righted themselves.

“Right,” said Undyne. “Right.”

Papyrus stepped back. He recognised that particular tone.

“Don’t hurt my car, please,” he said.

“I won’t. I’m just gonna carry that WHOLE TREE over to the disposal area ALONE,” growled Undyne, striding over confidently.

“Okay!”

“Rrrrrrraghh!”

Undyne hefted the tree over her head. It looked very impressive, Papyrus thought, or it would have if the sheet hadn’t halfway unravelled to lie damply over her face.

“Do you want me to-”

“Aaaaaaaugh!!”

“Okay.”

She ran, full tilt, across the car park, blindly. If he was being generous, he could have said it was towards the vicinity of the sign. Closing the car doors - and silently promising his poor car a proper cleaning later - he set off. Papyrus to the rescue! The rescue of whoever encountered Undyne, that was, of course. Undyne would never need to be rescued.

He found her face first in a fence.

“How’s the trip to the tree disposal area going, Undyne?”

“Great.”

“I see.”

He leaned against the fence. He still couldn’t see her face. Perhaps now, with little chance of eye contact, was a good time to bring up the Thing.

“Do you, maybe, have something to tell me, Undyne?”

“No,” she said immediately.

“Of course not. If you turn ninety degrees to your left, you’ll be headed in the right direction, by the way.”

“Thanks.”

He waited until the next crash to catch up with her.

“Okay, so, when I said you’d be headed in the right direction, that wasn’t an instruction to run directly into the sign without stopping, but at least we’re here now. You can put the tree down over there- no. No, not there, either. Left a bit - bit more- stop! Right a bit. Stop. Step back a little then toss the tree gently forwards and up. I’d say.. Maybe at an eighth of your full strength.”

The tree made a surprisingly soft shuff as it was deposited neatly at the top of the pile. Undyne struggled out of the sheet to survey their handiwork with a grin.

“Nice! We should do something like this again sometime, except, you know, with more rules and less fences. And trees,” she added, reaching into her ear to pick out a pine needle.

“Yes,” he agreed, “it was certainly an interesting experiment. Although maybe next time we could also do it when it’s not sleeting outside. Maybe… sometime in Spring?”

“Sounds good.”

They got back into the car, Papyrus waving cheerfully at the security camera he spotted on the way.

“I might go back home the long way,” he said to Undyne, “the weather is clearing up - look.”

Where he pointed to, a patch of blue could be seen between the clouds.

“Hey, nice! Spring’s just around the corner, huh?”

“Actually it’s not til March the first,” he corrected her, turning onto another street.

“Huh. Didn’t know that.”

“Neither did I, til this morning.”

He eyed her out the corner of his eye. Still looking distracted.

“I know that it may sound like an utter falsehood,” he continued, “but there are actually some things I don’t know.”

“Really?”

“I know it sounds ridiculous, but I can’t claim to know something if people don’t tell me. That would be mindreading, and while I am a skeleton of many talents, telepathy is not one of them.”

“Uh-huh.”

She was going to try to avoid it, then. Papyrus internally shook his head, then externally shook his head, too, for good measure. Time to pull out all the stops.

“Undyne.”

“Yep.”

“I know you have something to say to me. I also know that you are too scared to tell me. Frankly I can understand this - I am an awesome and frankly inspiring sight, however, we’re friends! And friends should always be able to tell each other the truth, right?”

That ought to do it, he decided. She was cracking, he could tell.

“Papyrus.. listen-”

It was a good thing the street was deserted, because when he heard her speak, he slammed on the brakes.

“Undyne!”

“Don’t,” she said, “augh, don’t, Papyrus, I’m fine!”

“You’re crying! You are not fine! What do I do? What DID I do? Oh my god, I’m the worst friend ever-”

“-no you’re not, I’m the worst, it’s ME, Papyrus - don’t you start crying too, you can’t drive if you’re blubbing, Papyrus, come on-”

He swallowed, feeling her scrub roughly at his maxilla, her thumbs wiping away the ‘tears’ of magic created by his distress.

“Sorry,” she grunted, snuffling a little, “it’s just- ugh, you’re dry, just drive, I gotta think about this, I dunno what I’m gonna say. Gimme five minutes.”

“Alright. But I’ll be counting!”

The streets began to peel by again, grey and unappealing for the most part - and then there would be a flash of colour from leftover decorations, or, rarely, from more recent ones for the Chinese New Year. He scanned the horizon, looking for birds (still a novelty, to see them so high up in the sky and moving. Birds underground didn’t fly.)

Undyne coughed.

“It’s been five minutes,” she said, “so. I’m just gonna.. Go. I’m just gonna say it.”

Papyrus raised his eyebrows expectantly after a moment.

“Are you?”

“Ngahh! Yes! I! AM!”

He watched her fist bounce off the dashboard. Hopefully no dents would be left behind. Plastic was a pain to fix.

“Alphys! Is! Pregnant! ..Maybe!”

He pulled over. He exited the car. He pulled her out of the car. He embraced her.

Then he got back into the car. After a moment, so did she.

“Uhh. So. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier, but.. It’s scary, you know?”

He nodded.

“But.. depending on how the next couple of checkups go, we’ll know if we’re really gonna have a kid. Or kids, seeing as both her family and mine tend towards multiples. We might end up with an ARMY! Haha!”

Undyne was gesturing wildly, far more animated now than before.

“We’re gonna have to think of names, and buy clothes, and teach them to walk and talk, and all that stuff! Real parent stuff! Real, you know, couple stuff! Which is also scary! Not that I’m scared!”

Papyrus nodded, letting it flow over him. He’d finally gotten her to open up. Emotional-Undyne crisis had been averted. Now he just had to clean his car..

Roll on March 1st. Spring Cleaning could never be this hard, right?