#and 2) works for only 4 days of the week
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portrait study but its kenny
#south park#kenny mccormick#sp kenny#south park fanart#shroomer's art !#shroomer's archives: south park#shroomer's finished art !#kenny is quite literally my muse#also its 2 am so it took me quite literally 5 minutes to think of what to caption this only to come up with that#this is actually for one of my classes' final assignment that we were given like 3-4 weeks to do#and i did it in one day lmao#anyways i really wanted to experiment with different texture brushes and a different rendering style#because i dont believe in having a consistent artstyle#my favorite kenny piece to date <3#if i had a nickel for every time i made a drawing of a south park character with an eye straining red-blue color palette#id have two nickels#which isnt a lot but its weird that it happened twice#i actually had to tone down the colors because IT WAS SO RED AND SO BLUE INITIALLY but i think it worked out for the best#cause the orange fits way better with the whole kenny thing#tw: eyestrain
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#waiting for livraz 2 show up^#elendira#trigun maximum#trigun#lg doodles#mo but im like . going 2 complain for five secodns#but i hate working full time i hate it ive awkays hated it i will always hate it and when im dead ill still be hating on it#NOOO ENERGYY(‘!!!for anything . ever .#like ive given up on hobbies bc it feels soo fcking impossible to do anyrhing that isnt cooking dinner and then passing out 4 the night#miserable existence i want to claw my face off#the oast two yrs have been manageable in the sense that i alws had smt to look forward to#hyperfix or whagever. but these past 6 months r grey.DESOLATE‼️‼️‼️devoid of purpose#elendira outstretched hand lets take ibuprofen together#but its lexapro#anyways . ^__^!!~~ hope uve had a good day today#or did smt fun this week#bHELPPPP#walking 2 my car rn actually .. inagine the virgin walk guy thats like this > 🚶#metbh#being let out of my hamster cage . only to return 2morrow
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the amount of math i put into figuring out my PTO is honestly so funny. i've probably spent like 2 hours this week and last week just playing with the leave calculator spreadsheet my coworker gave me. this morning i added a sheet for 2026 so now i'm calculating my PTO out that far. i basically already have a plan of how i'm taking time off for 2025 so as to maximize my time off in 2026. i dont think this is a normal level of attention to detail but at least i'm having fun
#(at my job i can accrue a certain amount of PTO that then becomes 'use or lose' because only so much carries over each year)#so by the mythical year 2026 i could in fact end up with 121 hours of use or lose by the end of it#aka i am Forced to take off 15 days (121 hrs) that year or it'll just be wiped#oh dear oh no! however could i manage to take 15 days off! <- DESPERATELY wants to be in this position as soon as possible#my issue is that i keep taking too much time off so i havent hit the maximum cap yet lmao#like if i just chilled out i could reach it next year#but chilling out is not in my vocabulary. i have places to go and people to see#therefore i cannot reach use or lose in 2025 BUT i can reach it in 2026....if i don't end up spending too much of what i accrue first#so i have vauge plans next year that havent solidified and i keep trying out stuff to see how many hours it would leave me with#historically my methods of maximizing time are:#1) work a flexible schedule with 9 hour days one pay period in order to get a day off for 'free' (this is how i'll get black friday off)#2) work over time and bank those hours as 'credit' time. i can have up to 24 hours/3 days worth of that stored#(i can easily do this long term by just like. working an extra hour every week and it'll add up lol)#3) receiving a time off award if management loves me enough (i normally get a free 8 hours award each year but i can't bet on this)#4) earning travel comp time by working overtime via work travel (such as your flight getting in at 8 pm or whatever)#5) earning normal comp time by attending a work event outside of normal hours (i.e. that time i worked on saturday)#these are all ways to get time off without dipping into PTO so that i can let the PTO accumulate#......as you can see i'm Very normal about this
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Guess who :3c (Patreon)
#My art#Webkinz#Diamond#Ukadevlog#Ghostkinz#Ta-dah! My November behind-the-scenes project was this! The poll was for this reason! Though I already knew I'd start with her haha#Have a little preview to start us off - I have Lots of thoughts to each part of development I ended up in but I want to roll them out slowly#Not everything all at once anyway haha - thoughts get all jumbled now that I'm on this side of things pft#I wasn't able to finish A Version I'd be willing to publish in just a month - even then I only worked on Ghostkinz about 3 days a week so#But for the time I spent I'm quite pleased with how its shaped up so far! :D I got to implement a lot!#Actually learning-then-implementing-then-learning-then-implementing - it's a loop I've been out of for such a long time now :0#Really interesting to fall back into after so long away haha#A lot of my other projects have been Pick Up One Thing and then do that forever and I was tired-tired of that!!#So going into this project knowing that I'd only have November to Get Guud at as much of it as possible and then that was it#I think it helped propel me - didn't end with me getting stuck on Perfecting Just This One Thing#I'd read a bit and then go utilize it and then come back and read some more of Zarla's template/walkthrough - compelling system!#I still couldn't manage to actually finish in a month but I got up to Phase 4!! Previous attempts at Ghost-making has gotten stalled at 1!!#Maaaybe 2 but never anything beyond that - and while I didn't actually Finish any Phase apart from 1 I still read through much much more!#On top of the learning aspect being fun ♪ getting to understand some of the more technical side ahh - it was also just fun to read haha#Like a course that can be silly hehe ♫ Enjoyable even outside of getting to make a little guy for my screen haha#But also yes that too!! I'm really glad I finally settled on an idea that I feel confident in seeing through#The best part about reaching for the Webkinz style is that Webkinz uses vectors - I've gone on record multiple times as loving vectors#They're an exceptionally easy medium to manipulate and that was The Thing that had been holding me back from committing to Ghosts prior#Drawing every single thing when I already struggle to plug in my tablet...no...... But Vectors#You can see here that Diamond's expressions are just a matter of tilting her head and moving her tail - so so soooo simple with vectors#Being able to super-quickly put out a lot of different expressions and animations and piecemeal everything together...yes..........#And for what further I have in mind :3c It's really all I could ask for in an art style to seek ah ♪ Just right for my purposes!#I thought it'd be nice to show off Diamond-for-real as her plush next to her digital version as well :D She's still the only OG8 I have#I want more!! I'd love to have a code for her as well haha - secretly just started this so I can have a digital Diamond lol#Plush-Diamond actually wears a necklace these days but I opted to leave it off her for the photoshoot - maybe once I figure out clothes haha
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really need to legally change my name at some point but i just really really hate paperwork and struggle to get started on it especially if it has multiple steps
#it's been literal years and like i send like 2 email enquiries but didn’t really get the answer i need and then i gave up lol#it's just bc it doesn't affect my day to day life but also once i change my name i need a new passport asap but i can probably only change#my name by being physically in the Netherlands and then I'd have to wait for the passport to get back home to the UK... and like i only hav#20 holidays a year and am not allowed to work from home really or maybe 2 days a week now so like#also i have to use 3 of the holidays for the time the company closes around Christmas#so yeah ig next year i could take all of my holidays to be in the Netherlands for almost 4 weeks and hope thatll be enoug#but that's all my holidays and i can't take unpaid holidays#maybe another way is possible but i can't find anything bc trans people living abroad needing to change their names is kinda niche ig#also once i change my name i have to change my name on like my bank card and everywhere else and idk how to do that etc bc i won't be a#british person doing it so it will be different#honestly never changing my name is just so tempting#but you know it would be good to be able to be stealth#*sent sorry#i always make this mistake even though i know how to do it correctly
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unsure if the new anxiety meds are Doing Something or if I'm just having a weird day
#personal#we are only on day 2 i didn't expect it to do anything yet#placebo effect maybe??#i looked it up and they do say it starts increasing serotonin levels right away and that you can see improvements in 1 week#but also that it usually takes 4 to 6 weeks to work#so. i dont know#feeling Surprisingly Chill today though#like when you're travelling and you're all stressed from travelling but then you get on your long-distance bus or your airplane or w/e#and there's nothing required of you except to sit there. and in fact nothing you can do on this stage of your trip#except to sit there and trust the driver or pilot to take care of things. that variety of chill#SUSPICIOUSLY chill. 'ooobh i got plany off time' chill#had a moment where i went 'IM TOO CALM THERE MUST BE SOMETHING WRONG' & then went 'oh honey' @ myself#it's ok dude you don't need to be constantly stressed to function. you can relax. that's allowed#there is a nonzero chance im going to go full adhd disaster here though#like if the anxiety meds work well i mean#happier adhd disaster maybe! but that does come with its own set of problems#e.g. i ate lunch at 5pm today because i was very spacey this morning + made an impulsive decision to go out at like 1:30 + i forgor#it's still lunch because im going to eat dinner later. shut up#anyway Who Knows. can't attribute everything to new meds. we don't have enough data yet#this is unusual but not unprecedented#on a completely unrelated topic: everytime we touch by cascada is a good song#also my cat has snuck into the room and has been secretly hanging out with me for who knows how long. i turned around and he was there#he does this. it's very sweet. i can't leave the room now or he'll leave though
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lol. i think ive reached my limit.
#i just cannot take this torture anymore#ive been at the mercy of this horrible disease for over half my life now#imagine living knowing that roughly every 3.5 weeks youre going to experience the most excruciating pain of your life#along with crushing. usually suicidal depression. and such extreme fatigue and exhaustion that you easily sleep for 14+ hours a DAY#AND ITS ALL FOR FUCKING *NOTHING*#there is literally ZERO benefit or reason for me to be experiencing this#it is 100% extraneous#and even if you go to a dr and try to get treatment their only recommendation is 1) pain killers and/or 2) birth control#which both come with their own fucking share of unpleasant side effects#not to mention theyre not even 100% effective at stopping the problem in the first FUCKING place#and imagine even tho you have this DEBILITATING DISORDER society at large has decided it straight up DOESNT EXIST#to the point where REAL ACTUAL MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS will dismiss your symptoms#not to mention people in your life who dont understand or just straight up dont believe your disorder is real#good luck keeping a job or any other major commitments#considering you'll either be out of commission for like. 1 out of ever 4 weeks#or youll have to work/whatever WHILE experiencing said excruciating pain/crushing depression/debilitating exhaustion#not to mention the GI issues and the migraines and the brain fog and the fucking. full body aches#wanna go to a concert? or plan a vacation? or just. fucking. RELAX? you better hope its not during Hell Week or youre outta luck#and youve got roughly 30-40 YEARS of this to look forward to#maybe less IF YOURE LUCKY#im fucking over it#i cant take it anymore#im making an appt to see a dr and i WILL NOT LEAVE THEIR OFFICE until they have referred me to whoever i have to talk to to make this stop#my fucking fury at having to live like this has officially outweighed my fear of invasive procedures/recovery time/side effects#let along the torture that is navigating the medical care system as an AFAB#i just. i cant do this anymore.#i want to fucking LIVE#fuck
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i need yall to keep me in your thoughts tomorrow im going back to work after being out for two weeks after being back for 4 days after a different two week break
#tldr in 5 weeks ive only been at work 4 days out of the 10 days we've been back#winter break (2 weeks) > snow day friday > bereavement days (1 week) > m|k day > 4 more snow days > refuse to go friday bcuz roads + no pay#whispers from beyond {ooc}#oh yeah btw i didnt get paid last week. it got pushed to this week and ppl are PIIIIIISSED
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#i was away from work for 4 days and i came back to the nicest things#one person told me they missed me sm and ive only known her professionally for about 2 weeks i didnt expect that 😭😭#and then one of my bosses told me to become an influencer it was so random 🤣😭
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the little joys of life ❤️ (calling in sick to work for today and tomorrow when i'm not at all sick)
#no one tell my boss#some could argue i do need to call in sick if i need a mental health day this bad#the next time i have work is in 4 days which is SUCH a luxury#and then only 2 more weeks of full time work !!!!!#i'm determined to survive#not the personal posting#l
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I have commissions open! Currently have a YCH and meme commissions up, however I'm open to maybe getting out of my comfort zone a bit with customs (feral only please!). Feel free to dm me on discord (az6006) to discuss that!
Please consider supporting me here. I have very limited access to money right now, as my epilepsy prevents me from driving and getting a better job.
Anyway, sorry for the sob story and I'll try to get out the next update soon!
#notclangen#art#commissions#i prommy ill try and get updates out faster btw#struggling to find a format that works for me#also thinking about how i want to do things#do i want a comic and a story?#perhaps...#im fr only getting 4 hours per week tf is this#also had a seizure 2 days after my permit papers were signed lmao#universe really has it out for me
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I am so beyond ready to quit this job. Wednesday cannot come fast enough.
#to be fair it's bc school starts again in a few weeks#but idk. every day at this office feels like sandpaper on my skin. people always ask me shit i dont understand#and every case is so individual there's no set checklist to follow to troubleshoot#so most of the time I just grind my gears and get stuck#it'd busy more days than not.#and it was advertised to me as data entry only. client interactions was not what i signed up for.#it's all client interaction.#we're short staffed so nobody gets to take the back office and have a break.#when we weren't short staffed i was the new guy and only got 1 day in the back a week while everyone else got 2.#all my coworkers are conservative but talk like they're apolitical.#i thought it'd be fulfilling bc im helping people get benefits#but many are rude or impatient as any other service job. I'm constantly trying to direct people that don't want to listen#or explain the intricacies of something i barely understand.#and i don't want to lead people astray bc you have to start over if you blow a deadline.#but there's just nothing redeeming that i enjoy.#i hate customer service. i hate constantly asking questions. i like seldom few of my coworkers.#i can't be me at work.#and i don't care about the work itself anymore.#this job made me cry every day for weeks last month from sheer stress and overstimulation.#i almost cried myself sick several times.#the only reason I'm not there anymore is bc i dont fucking care anymore.#it took me 2 months to burn out. 2 months!#i was training for half of that!!#idk. everyone decided i was smart and could pick it up quickly so. even though everyone else got 4-6 weeks of shadowing#you can make do with 3 before you start doing stuff solo.#which feels unfair. i wasn't ready for it. and i resent the decision quite a bit.#plus it's been a nightmare for me in terms of external stressors and my generally deteriorating mental health. so.#all in all. i hate it here.#and i can't wait to turn in my notice so i can gtfo in 2 weeks#i am so tired. free me. let me go back to my music please
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college … wasted on the youth (me)
#didnt help that 2/4 yrs was covid telezoom but man.. MANNN#forgetting how impossible it is to pursue rhe degree plan u actually want (advising hell) i feel like . theres just#so many diff things i want to learn now Knowing that im more solidified in my interests and who i am and what i would be interested in doing#and like.😭RGAAAAAQH TEARING MYHAIR OUTTT every other week i have a night where im sititng there like damn i couldve been sm1 completely dif#dgmw i still rly enjoy some of the upper div classes i Did take but what if i took x and liked it more or minored in y and it led me to z#bc i do feel rly set in where i am rn which . i DO ! like it but im never gna be in that environment where u have the flexibility to explore#ykwim . i wish i had taken physics and calc srsly . i always thought i hated that shit but i like it. i like it quite a lot actually😟#or more geology .. urrghh.. sprinkle in sme extra art history . no bc thats what actu pissed me off ab school#i rmbr wanting to dual major and they straight up told me no i cant . but then i was like maybe an arts major bio minor when i wanted to do#science illustration but sry we dont offer bio minor . ok bio major arh or studio art minor . no sry not enough open spots we rly only#reserve it for when we have extra openings post admission❤️#and then even late into sophomore year u would still be last in registration so all the cool classes would be closed#and then bc of covid half that shit was cancelled bc they couldnt transfer labs online (rip comparative vertebrate anatomy)#and then by senior yr an additional collection of classes were unavailable bc u dont have the prereqs bc the prereqs were cancelled during#covid and u dont have enough semesters left to actually take it . like it was gen such an awful experience so ik why i couldnt ever do what#i wanted but .😭 AND LIKE the classes i DID enjoy like genomics or molecular genetics were closed by registration and i had to email and beg#for access . thts crazy .literally crazy .#anyways . i think i want 2 start reading textbooks bc i think thats the closest ill get LMAOO#i remember seeing my coworker read a textbook for fun one time and idk why i just didnt understand why bc it seemed so dry but i Get it now#like yeah .. u knew what was up ..#sad too that like . i could theoretically audit a course but i Work..during the day .. so sad . so sad#guys wht if i just said yes to grad school (<the devil talking.dont agree)
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#one piece#sanji#black leg sanji#everysanji#sabaody archipelago#ch500#iiiiiii am so tired. but i stay silly#well i have the next 2 days off and only had a 4 day work week#im thinking on going to one of our other historic sites on the mainland for my days off#and hanging out but also its supposed to rain so... idk#i have laundry to do too and i air dry everything and uhhhhhh#well i dont need it til saturday but its also supposed to rain all week last i checked#and thunderstorms on sunday!!!!! god#july is supposed to be calm and sunny here go awayyyyy#it was so nice out today too...
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Who all else up alone in their apartment about to get fucked up right now?
#my stuff#having my 🍄 tea like i wanted to 2 weeks ago ugh had such a sucky day and thse are so old and so blue now#if they dont even work im gonna be pissed i used scissors to cut up 2gs and i paid like $50 for 1/4 oz#and only did like 1g when i got them
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My super already approved my and a colleague’s vacation in the same week. Now she has the audacity to ask one of us to cancel 💀 girl forget it
#I would only be gone for 4 days please stop crying about it you’re 30+ can’t you set priorities at work?#acting like our two clients are too much for her…#shit like this makes me remember how she made me cancel my operation 2 years ago#I told her about it but forgot to put it in our team calendar#she then went ahead and asked for vacation and I was like sure it’s ok and forgot it was right in the week of my operation#then when I noticed she was like well can’t help it you will have to cancel#and she was like I already have plans with other people and then after her vacation I found out how she stayed home the entire time lol#I’m gonna ignore that mail until she mentions it again#ofc she didn’t directly ask us to cancel she was like ‘does anyone have an idea how we can solve this?’ girl stfu
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