#and 2) swiftly crushing any and all delusions i have that my stupid one sided pining is reciprocated when it’s really not. at all.
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i think i’m getting better, i might just be on the road to recovery 🎉
#and thank god for that#today he (my crush) saw HIS crush#and this stupid (/pos) little lovesick smile spread across his face#it was me him and another friend and the other friend was like “don’t do it you simp-“#but he walked away anyways to go talk w her#and i was actually smiling genuinely#he just looked so happy and that made ME happy#i was like “go get ‘em tiger” internally of course#like i’m surprised by how much i was genuinely happy for it#i thought it would’ve kinda broken my heart#and it did a little bit#but i think the genuine happiness and outward expression of it is a good sign for me#hopefully this marks the start of FINALLY moving on because lord ive been wanted to move on for 2 months#lmao the other friend who was there was like “what happened to bros before hoes 😢”#and i was like “yeaahhh i think he forgot”#but i was tempted to reply w “at least one of our single asses should find happiness”#i KNEW it could only be helpful for me in the long run if he finally got together with her#i think it’d cure me by 1) showing me how happy he is and i could never be mad abt it when he’s so genuinely happy and excited#and 2) swiftly crushing any and all delusions i have that my stupid one sided pining is reciprocated when it’s really not. at all.#my heart just hates me and my brain likes to try to gaslight me
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